#also i really want to thank kiwi-

[raynavan]

ah- a perfectly normal crossover <3

there is art i made for it under the cut, but i Highly suggest reading the most recent chapter to get the context. (tw: horror)

so, there was a but of a question on how ingo would be able to leave the moon if the in game character died due to the Frog (that is, apparently, what the monster that eats you at the end is called) but Kiwi had the brilliant idea of: what if there were Two monsters?

the eye you take a picture of in-game is rather different then the monster that kills you- so... Two Guys!

i kinda. ran with it.

(both of these were traced over straight from my sketchbook- so they are... messy. the concepts since then have also changed a bit, but i... have no clue where my other Frog drawing went- but here is the BEAST (name pending))

a fun thing i did on a white board and also-

from an Aggie. of course, this needed some tweaking so i made it better.

oh yeah.

[camping-with-monsters]

So I’m actually developing another original story besides Bliss which I’m calling “Duck Duck Goose”. It revolves around fairy tales, but more specifically around the nature of “Grimm Fairy Tales”, partnered with their original absurd or violent natures.

Here’s our protagonist:

Einin, a pregnant woman presumably somewhere in her mid-twenties, is on the constant run from a giant creature known as the “Mother Goose”, who bares a grueling and unsatisfiable appetite. With it’s most favored source of sustenance being naive individuals currently conceiving, Einin’s current status of pregnancy has made her target to this monster. It chases her down relentlessly, and all that Einin can do is find ways to divert it in any way possible in the hopes that she can give her growing body a well-needed rest.

With a scent so strong, the Goose is always bound to find her. The only source of constant socialization is her bright yellow umbrella, to whom she refers to as “Ducky” as if it’s its own entity. All of the escaping she does usually wears her down, and has driven her to the point of talking to the umbrella— and claiming that it talks back. Everyone in their right mind knows it’s nothing more than an object. But with Einin’s emphasis on wanting to protect the seemingly important umbrella, it makes one consider her motives as to why she’s dead set on always having it where she can see it. Perhaps it’s a comfort item? But it can’t be that easy, right?

In her consistent attempts to stray as to hopefully one day lose the Mother Goose’s reign, being that staying in a single place for long usually means the Goose will continue to come back, she occasionally meets with other peculiar individuals: A girl cloaked in a red hood who mounts the back of a giant wolf, two bounty hunter siblings apparently made of candy, a mysterious man of many fables and stories passed around about his grand accomplishments, and so on. She’s not sure of dubbing any of these encounters as “friends”, though. Not that she doesn’t want to, but circumstances have made staying in one place and creating meaningful bonds a task too dangerous for her own good. Usually, she has to run from them, too.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, this is the Mother Goose!

[calico-kiwi]

someone save me helllpppppp

[kiwiorcore]

sorry this is sent wayy after i said i would lmao i got really busy and this fic deserves as good of a mini-analysis as i can give 🫶🏽🫶🏽 i’ll try and keep it as short as possible

all of the little details about kiwi’s past hurt so much ahh he really has moved about way too much </3 (side note arkadiusz reca reminds me a little of kiwi’s childhood friend from an interview i watched… he maybe has a type)

i love the way both arkadiusz and tomi are kiwi’s lifeline when it comes to not understanding the language it’s cute mirroring

‘Jakub allows himself to grow attached to the people around him. He allows himself to become comfortable. He allows himself to fall in love.’ being followed by ‘It was foolish to allow himself to get comfortable here. It was foolish to let himself grow attached as if he could ever stay.’ absolutely killed me oh my god

“I packed your bag for you. Why did you have a jam doughnut in your bag?” - LOVE these small references i appreciated every single one so much

‘Jakub is taken off in favour of Tomi.’ i know this literally happened in the game but the wording of ‘in favour for’ with the way kiwi’s told he’s (probably) going while tomi gets to stay </3 

the banter between them was elite you are so good at writing realistic dialogue btw 🫶🏽🫶🏽

‘He’s switched to English now.’ - this is weirdly accurate?? usually i see people switch to english for serious matters it feels more detached in a way.

the whole ‘argument’ scene felt very in character to me - kiwi prefering to talk things out first whereas tomi wanting to reason with himself first before talking makes a lot of sense

“You came back.” “Why wouldn’t I?” - screamed cried ruined me

“Even if you do get transferred,” Tomi says softly. “Why should that stop me from loving you right now?” followed by ‘The sound of distant fireworks rings in the new year.’ feels like a revelation idk it really shows the beginning of kiwi’s new mindset

‘Football is change and Jakub is no longer afraid of it.’ - BEAUTIFUL ending

i could write more but this is already looking to be wayy too long i’m so sorry lol but i genuinely loved it!! your writing has a certain style that i particularly like to read so reading something of yours is always a gift 🫶🏽🫶🏽 hope you have a good day!!

anon please there are tears running down my face omg

im honestly shocked kiwi seems so okay with all the moving about because i would definitely not be ok if i had to move around as much as he does

from the second i saw arkadiusz name mentioned in the long read i was like 'there's so much potential here.' i feel like it's my job to introduce new ships to the kiwi nation now lol

im glad you like the dialogue and stuff because i think that took me longest to write because would they actually say that?? i think i rewrote that banter bit like 3 times because it just sounded off to me

‘He’s switched to English now.’ - this is weirdly accurate?? usually i see people switch to english for serious matters it feels more detached in a way.

i feel like italian for them is more intimate than english. even though they could probably express their thoughts better in italian, tomi still switches to english because italian feels too special

one thing about me is that i love love love symbolism like i was thinking about this fic just before the fulham game then i realised i could set it on new years eve and my brain snapped it up

anon don't ever apologise because this made my day seriously i love you

[sexlapis]

[◉°] … TOJI FUSHIGURO READS THIRST TWEETS…6.4M views

actor!toji, crack, fluff, implied toji x gender neutral!reader, depraved tweets…

⤷ synopsis: our favourite actor, toji, discovers more of his fanbase’s depravity…

a/n: i’m sorry this took so long. actor!toji hasn’t been forgotten about okay! ໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა

masterlists

actor!toji masterlist

*

“hey everyone, i’m toji fushiguro and i-,” toji exhales deeply, like he’s disappointed, shaking his head and closing his eyes, “i’m gonna be reading your thirst tweets? thirst twee-is that what they’re called?

he looks dashing - his hair boyishly messy, donned in black shirt that is far too fitting, along with dark blue jeans which are far too tight around his lower body, more specifically his thighs. denim stretches around the thick muscle with each of his movements, rippling through the thick material.

those will probably be very distracting to viewers.

toji holds up a smartphone, pressing on its screen with his large index finger, “…how’s this thing work again?” faint laughter can be heard from behind the camera, “‘cos i don’t use phones like this. my phones usually have buttons and stuff…”

after five painful minutes of two crew members explaining how a smartphone operates (condensed into a ten second clip) toji he is good to go.

“ahhh, right, right, right. okay. thanks,” toji clears his throat, shifting in his chair a little, “because i really didn’t know…”

tweet 1

toji sighs and lets out a strained laugh. “look i appreciate the thought but that doesn’t even sound nice…in fact, this just sounds like a threat. is this a threat? it’s a threat to me. also you can’t spell.”

tweet 2

“why are they all so threatening? why do mean beaten up and bloody? why do they all want me in pain? what wrong with you people?!” toji exclaims, shaking his head and sighing, before pondering, “i do enjoying doing fight scenes though, so i’m not against this…”

tweet 3

toji makes a face and his mouth twitches. “huh?! what? what is this? what are they saying? is this what kids are saying these days? is this a compliment?” a crew from behind the camera explains that it is, indeed, a strong compliment. “oh, okay. what happened to ‘he looks so nice’ or ‘he’s so handsome’? they’re so damn strange.”

tweet 4

“just when i thought they were getting normal…all the way to my elbow?” he questions in disbelief. “ and my hands?” he holds up both of his hands, “is that what women like?”

there were many edits made with that clip.

tweet 5

“alright well this one is kinda nice for the most part. i’m gonna ignore the penis part. they’re not not wrong of course.” he states as a matter of fact. but then says, “…me and y/n are not together though…” laughs are heard from behind the camera, “what? we’re not together! if we were, i’d make sure everybody knew, trust me.”

tweet 6

toji clears his throat, breathing in deeply and shaking his head. “i think…i think that’s enough for today. or ever. there’s nothing more to say to this. thanks.”

*

a/n: actor toji is here guys he won’t be back for another 5 months 👍

tag list: @tiredslepz | @hayatslife | @shxyxyxxxx | @snowprincesa1 | @laylasbunbunny | @mimiemie | @ncentic | @rosesored | @imover-18 | @gintokhi | @suzuperstarr | @lostgxrlblog | @jallie10 | @nnsav | @bunnyx-sakura | @bubbabobabubbles | @ladytamayolover | @keiva1000 | @morgyyyyyyy | @studiecoherence | @earth2fae | ce-namonreads | @ib4ryuguji | @hisjaegerist | @basiloverthyme | @sweet-kiwi | @sayitowshi | @iovemytoru | @thecompletechaosmaster | @sugutoad | @inumakiiz | @uzxotic | @1meshugge1 | @kunikuzushisbeloved

[kcrossvine-art]

hi friends! :D y'all voted and fought neck and neck for this SO- heres the first entry into our little cooking journey of J. R. R. Tolkeins fictional food for his fictional little guys he puts in fictional turmoils for our enjoyment and awe!

 Before we get started i wanna say i owe my heart to all the LotR fans who upkeep the wiki, debate the cannon, and create their own versions of the foods mentioned. Both because of my love for people who LOVE (passionate people)(passion about anything) and because my own knowledge of this series is a little dusty. I've never seen the movies but I did read the books growing up. I'll be learning and remembering things from a fairly newbie standpoint, so no worries if you yourself arent familiar with the series! (and if you are familiar, hopefully youll forgive me!)

We will be making Lembas ('waybread') today! If you've made your own version of this please feel free to share it, similarly if you have any ideas for what we make next!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to Lembas?” YOU MIGHT ASKWell so the funny thing is we kinda dont know. At least not entirely? The elves are dicks like that. But heres what we'll be using in ours-

Butter

Self-rising flour

Granulated Sugar

Raisins

A small dried fruit of your choosing

Almonds OR Pecans

EGG

Whole Milk

Heavy Cream

And if you would like for dipping-

Blackberry jam

To the extent i understand this is kinda like hardtack from the bri'ish military, but a fantastical version of it that actually tastes really good. Hardtack was a military provision with the texture of a brick that took a long time to spoil and could be easily carried with soldiers. So the texture we're going for is super dense, packed full with nuts and fruits (haha just lik-), but perhaps not that dense. We want something closer to a dog biscuit than actual tack.

I remembered something about corn being mentioned, thankfully the wiki clarified that no actually the british just referred to any grain as corn back in the day. Thank Fuck! Although I would like to try a version of this using masa in the future.

AND, “what does Lembas taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

Took a few tries but eventually got it perfectly chewy and dense

The raisins cook-in like little beads of flavortown sweetness

Cant speak for other fruits but for dried apple it softened up nicely, kinda matching the raisins in the end

Im a big pecan slut, pecans fuck on anything especially here. Crumble them on top after you coat the dough with the egg-mixture for some visual appeal

Somewhat flakey outside

The jam was my idea, it was nice but might be too sweet for some tastes

Would pair very well with a kiwi flavored drink

Or mead

I can see why this would a travelling provision. Its both sugary (a good thing when expending energy) and filling (also a good thing when youre travelling) while not being overwhelming with flavor (if youre prone to motion sickness. Horse sickness? Do get motion sickness on horses?)

Its like how if you're going hiking you want a good mix of sugars and salts, to balance your intake of water.

. If you wanna make it like the illustrations or the movie, use a cookie cutter for either triangles or squares . If you don't have a cookie cutter, an apple cutter also works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . try to keep the board you'll roll the dough out onto chilled before you use it, it seems better for the texture of the food though i dont entirely know why

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So from beginning to end, it took about an hour and half for the first attempt. Down to about 40 minutes for the second attempt. These are a real simple recipe because its not like a croissant where the margin for error is nonexistent. Middle-earth be damned my boy can work a grill.

I'd recommend storing in a tubberware container, but if you're deadset on using leaves please rinse and dry them first, and wrap the bread in either wax paper or saran wrap underneath. We dont have mallorn leaves in real life (as far as we know) but most salad greens should work, or as Marie Porter says (linked in the reblogs!) a banana leaf.

I really enjoyed the process of making this recipe, itd be really easy to batch-bake these en masse, and the process of eating said recipe. Like all jokes aside, i think this would be a great substitute for trailmix. Its not going to get smushed and even if it breaks a bit it wont affect the taste. It wont keep you fed for a whole day but pair it with some pickles or a salty snack and yeah itll keep your motor running.

I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Let me know if you think I got something wrong, or if you ran into issues with the recipe. We're off to a strong start, lads!

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

6 TBSP butter, chilled

2 cups self-rising flour

1 TBSP granulated sugar

½ cup raisins

½ other dried fruit (strawberry slices, oranges, etc.), chopped

Handful of almonds or pecans, chopped

1 egg, well beaten

½ cup whole milk

4 TBSP heavy cream

Method:

Preheat your oven to 400 f.

Cut the butter into slivers/small pieces. With your hands, combine the butter into the flour in a mixing bowl until the mixture resembles coarse sand.

Chop your dried nuts and dried fruit until it feels right.

Mix in the sugar, raisins, nut, and dried fruit of your choosing

In a seperate bowl, beat the egg until combined, and then mix in the milk until combined. Keep a bit of this mixture to brush the tops of the bread.

Stir while adding the egg/milk mixture and the heavy cream into the flour. Mix just until combined into a soft dough.

Knead the dough until firm on a floured surface.

Roll into a half inch thickness and cut with a square or leaf shaped cookie cutter. (...or in my case, an apple corer).

Place on a lightly greased baking sheet, with about an inch of space between each piece. Brush the tops of the lembas with some of the mixture you saved earlier.

Bake for about 15-20 minutes, or until it turns a soft gold and the inside is chewy.

[vivi-blue]

IT IS FINALLY DONE!

God, this took me way too long...xD

After days of work I finally finished the challenge that I set for myself: Sending out props to a lot of artist here on tumblr that I really enjoy! (Actually there are way waaay more people, but I really had to set myself a limit, I'm sorry fellas ;w; I still love you!)

These people inspire me every day with their creative concepts, stories, humor and passion for art and give me the drive to continue drawing myself. With this little collection I wanted to say "thank you" for all that you do and create. You rock, guys!

(I really hope I didn't mess up any of the tags and I apologize if I might fu**ed up your designs/characters ;3; I know I'm not the best in proportions and all, but I really tried. <w<´´ Also I really hope Tumblr compresses the text by itself, so that you don't get smacked by this wall of text. I'm still a rookie on tumblr, so I don't know what to do ;w;)

Okay, heeere we go! THE TAGS!

@tv-tower / @uuberwachen - with PB aka Swap Pizzahead (I really love the idea of the au and adore the character designs. PB sure is one of my favorites -w- He is literally the most reasonable of them all XD)

@technically-a-kiwi - with Cosmic Peppino ( The design of Cosmic Peppino is simply beautiful and the idea that this chef has strong star powers and needs to take care of Cosmic Noises shenanigans is super funny to me XD )

@sirtotallynotatimetraveler - with Mel Sproutbloom / Sagebloom (I'm sorry, I wasn't sure which name is canon ;w;) ( I loooove Mel! He is such a gentle, colorful guy and looking at him makes me all happy <3 )

@alextydaisuda123 - with their version of Vigilante ( I can't repeat enough how much I adore their artstyle. I love Vigi's design the most. I don't know it's just...THAT'S Vigi for me, you know? Simply fitting, cool, but also stylish -w- )

@alice-the-demon - with Vittoria ( I was first thinking of drawing Archangel Peppino, since this guy is the softness itself, buuuut I have to admit that I love the lively and passionate personality of Vittoria. She is great -w- )

@misdreavusplush - with Eyelashes ( I can't help it. I saw that character and was in awe. How adorable can you be?? I was barely able to draw her eyes as pretty as they are xD <3 )

@creature-of-pizza - with Pepp ( Seriously, the idea to see a "Fake Peppino" with more cat dna is such a win for me. He is dynamic, sassy, derpy and so damn cool! >w< Also love how colorful their pictures are.)

@eskariolis-con-salsa - with Gnocchi (I was thinking about drawing their version of Fake Peppino first, but...*looks at picture* ...let's be honest, you can't get pass that little guy. ;w; He purifies my soul. Have some soap, little guy.)

@oddpizza - with Caramel Jam aka CJ (Such a creative and powerful character! I've seen so many artworks of them and I adore them. You need more joyful people like this ^^)

@pizza-tower-secrets - with Lycheecheechee ( A small, adorable bundle full of surprises and of course secrets! I love their drive and colorful design. Simply a delight! :3 )

@rhaytronik - with Red ( A dynamic and enjoyable character with their love for adventures! Not only a great character but also the Pizzasona of my best friend. Thanks to them I was brave enough to start a tumblr account myself. So thank you for being there for me <3 )

@cutechan555 - with Mage Gustavo (To be honest, I had a very hard time to pick a character here, since their account is full of stories and ideas. I chose mage Gustavo, since I love his design and story. I'm currently into "Delicious in Dungeon" and to imagine that he goes dungeon crawling with his bros to safe Peppino is such a cool idea XD)

@bigbeastcyruspt - with Trion (I have to be honest, at first I was very startled of Trion, since his design is very mighty and scary. I mean, it's his chase form after all. But the more I learned about him, the more I grew to like him. Very damn cool design! Also couldn't help to add dah baby ;w;)

@lunar-dal - with Pizza Cruise Peppino (Another au I simply adore! The design of the characters is colorful and bright, and to imagine Peppino as a singing gondolier brings me great joy. Also I'm a big fan of otter Brick ;w; )

@smalltimidbean - with Pea Pod, Sugar Snap Pea and Snow Pea (Believe me, I never before had such a hard time to pick ONE of so many wonderful Peppi clones! THAT was torture XD But in the end I guess I picked my favorite. Such a tired, but very cute one. Not to forget about the little ones <3 To draw a PT character with 4 fingers and 2 thumbs on one hand was quite a challenge lol )

@tinderboxofsillyideas - with Coffee Peppino (Probably one of the most adorable au versions of Peppino. Seriously, if I had the chance to get my coffee in his café, I totally would! Give that guy all the tips! <3 First thought of drawing their wizard Peppino version, but the adorable barista won lol)

@xbeih - with Metal Peppino (One of the first au's I started following. Seriously, how cool can one person be?? I mean, the whole au is amazing and I enjoy every person in it. But damn...Peppino takes the cake. ówo He is so badass, you can't imagine <w< Also I'm very sorry, it was my first time drawing a guitar and aaaaaaa )

.....*looks left and right* ...ok, we did it. Wow!

God, I'm exhausted now...XD

Well, thank you very much for reading and sorry for the wall of text ówq I can only recommend you to check these people out. They are all very talented and should be appreciated!

Have a pleasant morning / day / evening / night everyone. (Depending your timezone lul .w. )

See ya next time! Vivi out!~

[kitten4sannie]

27 - ꜰᴜʀʀʏ/ʜʏʙʀɪᴅ - ᴡᴏᴏʏᴏᴜɴɢ

ꜱᴘɪʟʟᴇᴅ ᴍɪʟᴋ

pairing: fox hybrid! wooyoung x cat hybrid! reader (fem) feat. owners seongjoong

summary: you mess around with a new hybrid playmate while your owners go out to eat.

w.c: 3.4k

warnings: dom leaning! wooyoung, sub leaning! reader, these mfs are in HEAT, subspace stuff, pet names, praise, kissing, food play, nipple play (m receiving), grinding, breeding kink (it’d be an actual crime if i didn’t include this) unprotected sex, creampie

a/n: on all levels except physical i am a kitty - meow

okay but fr i’ve always wanted to write a hybrid au so i’m so glad i finally did!! it was so fun ahhhh <3 also there's only one more fic to go ;; thank you for coming on this filthy journey with meee <3

FFF Masterlist

✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖

“Y/N, I’m home!” your owner Hongjoong called out, standing near the doorway of his apartment next to his friend Seonghwa, who he had a fat crush on, and of course, his companion Wooyoung, a beautiful red fox hybrid who was a sneaky little troublemaker with a heart of gold. “And I brought company, so make sure you have some clothes on!”

Ears twitching at the sound of your owner’s voice, you pulled yourself out of the cat nap you were taking on Hongjoong’s bed and pounced into his open closet to find one of his oversized hoodies and some booty shorts to put on. Yawning dramatically, you headed out into the living room, seeing Seonghwa give you a smile and a wave. You reciprocated, but suddenly went still upon seeing the hybrid you had never encountered before besides the times Hongjoong made you interact with him over FaceTime, your tufted ears now on high alert.

Wooyoung reacted differently, his mind yelling ‘Kitty! Must scent!’, immediately heading in your direction to do just that, but getting pulled back when Seonghwa placed his hands onto his shoulders, hearing him go ‘uh-uh-uh.’

Hongjoong walked over to you and gave you a hug, running his hand down your fluffy tail to get it to go from a standing position to a relaxed one. “Don’t be so scared, sweetheart. You’ve talked to him before. He’s been really excited to meet you in person, you know.” Seeing your apprehension, he pressed a kiss to your forehead, stroking your hair in a comforting manner. “I just thought you could hang out with someone new. Do you remember me telling you about this a couple days ago? How Daddy wants you to meet new hybrids so you can socialize?”

You thought about it for a minute, going back through the past week, your freshest memory being of your trip to the mall with Hongjoong. He bought you a new plushie and some new cat grass after you tossed the other one off of the balcony when you were having a fit. He used half of the spray bottle on you that day.

“Uh…not really,” you replied honestly, idly grabbing onto Hongjoong’s sleeve and holding it, looking past him, studying the fox that was staying still in his owner’s grasp. He didn’t look too scary now that you weren’t so caught off guard by a person who wasn’t your owner or his boyfriend. Friend. You weren’t sure because Hongjoong always got pouty whenever you asked. You tilted your head, finding Wooyoung’s outfit to be really adorable. He had a few pink heart-shaped clips in his hair, keeping some of his cherry-red bangs out of his eyes. He was wearing a cute oversized sweater too, one that was hanging off one of his shoulders and had a tiny heart over the chest. To make you ever more jealous of his look, he was wearing your favorite brand of athletic shorts, ones with white stripes going down the sides. You wanted to take a trip to his closet one day. You were tired of exploring Hongjoong’s, only ever finding empty bottles of cat nip that you had raided without his knowledge and random books about romance.

Wooyoung’s white-tipped fox ears perked up upon eye contact, his nose twitching a few times, taking in your scent from far away. It was comforting. Like fresh laundry and some kind of soap. Sniff. Kiwi scented soap, to be exact. Would your skin taste like kiwis too? He would have to conduct an experiment. Hopefully, you would like him, so he could get close. He loved kitties. He really liked to tease them and get them all riled up, always wanting to watch their tails puff up, but Seonghwa told him not to do that anymore. It worked out though, because his favorite thing was when he made them purr. It always made him feel really warm inside, sometimes so warm he felt like his tummy was on fire.

Hongjoong sighed, but gave your head a reassuring pat, causing you to push your head into his hand when he started to pull it away, patting it some more as a result. “Well, it’s time you met Wooyoung in person, don’t you think?” You gave him a small nod, opting to climb onto the large plush couch and sitting with your tail curled around you. Hongjoong walked over to you and murmured, “You might become good friends, sweetheart. Plus, he brought you some snacks so be a good girl and tell him thank you, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy,” you nodded, nuzzling your owner’s hovering hand, before looking to Seonghwa, who gave you another soft smile and released his grip on Wooyoung. You blinked for a second and the eager fox hybrid was already sitting on the couch next to you, setting down the plastic bag he had and leaning in to give your neck a few sniffs. You smelled even better up-close, unknowingly encouraging him to move his face into your soft hair, his nose brushing over your human ear, making you shiver. You stayed still, getting used to his scent as well. It was warm like cinnamon sticks and sweet like maple syrup. Yummy. Neither of you spoke, simply taking in each other’s scents and body language, exchanging intense eye contact, as though you were figuring each other out.

Hongjoong walked back over to Seonghwa and leaned against him, elbowing him gently in the ribs through his long, black coat. “Do you think they’ll be fine on their own?”

“I think so. They’re both well trained.” Seonghwa nodded his head, smiling down at Hongjoong, suddenly rubbing his stomach and groaning when he felt hunger pains. “We should probably head to the restaurant soon. I’m starving.”

Both Hongjoong and Seonghwa said bye to the both of you, but neither of you were really paying attention, only waving your hands in their direction, your eyes still locked onto one another’s, getting closer and closer as time went by.

Hongjoong grabbed his bag and coat, then headed to the door with Seonghwa, only stopping once he closed the door behind the both of them. Seonghwa walked a few feet down the hall, but stayed still when he realized that Hongjoong was standing still. “What’s wrong?” he asked, pushing a hand into his coat pocket.

Locking the door, Hongjoong caught up to Seonghwa, saying concernedly, “Y/N hasn’t been fixed. Is Wooyoung fixed?”

Walking down the hallway at a leisurely pace, Seonghwa hit the elevator button, realizing, “No, actually. Do you think that’ll be a problem?”

Remembering how cautious you were around Wooyoung, Hongjoong shook his head and laughed at the thought of you actually engaging with Wooyoung in such a way. Plus, you never showed that kind of interest in anyone, except for him. He didn’t have anything to worry about. “No, I think we’re probably fine. She’s a good girl.” Stepping into the elevator with Seonghwa, he looked down at his friend’s hand, which was mere inches away from his, gulping, his ringed fingers twitching slightly.

“Wooyoung’s feisty, but won’t push anything on another hybrid if they disapprove.�� Watching the numbers on the elevator slowly go down, Seonghwa pressed his shoulder into Hongjoong’s smaller one, able to notice how he tensed up. The backs of his fingers just barely began to brush over his friend’s, making him feel warm, but not able to pull through and actually attempt to hold his hand.

“That’s good.” Hongjoong focused intently on the numbers on the screen above him, taking in a deep breath and moving his fingers against Seonghwa’s, just barely interlocking their pinky fingers together.

“Good, yeah,” Seonghwa replied softly, his heart about to beat out of his chest, swallowing his nerves down like he would with the wine he was about to drink at the restaurant. He squeezed Hongjoong’s pinky against his own. “Very good.”

“Absolutely.” Hongjoong felt like he was going to melt into the floor, not realizing he was holding his breath until he started to feel a little lightheaded.

-

“Youngie,” you accidentally blurted out, shivering as Wooyoung’s rough tongue came in contact with your neck, whining when he pulled the collar of your hoodie down to get better access to your collarbone area. He said he wanted to see if you tasted like kiwis because of Hongjoong’s soap. You weren’t sure if it worked like that, but it couldn’t hurt to try. Though, it tickled a lot and Wooyoung’s scent was making you feel really warm.

Wooyoung let out a small chirp-like sound of approval at your nickname for him, stopping mid-lick to push his head into yours, nuzzling you. “I like that, Kitty. Keep calling me that.”

Your ears flattened into your hair, and your heart thumped away inside your chest. “Okay, Youngie. Please call me Kitty from now on too. I like it.” Running your fingers over the wet sections of your neck, you asked, “So did it taste like kiwi?”

“Uh-uh.” Wooyoung pouted for a second, only to smile brightly when he remembered about the snacks he brought. He turned his body to reach into the plastic bag next to him, pulling out two cartons of strawberry milk and handing you one, taking out a bag of de-pitted cherries as well. Seonghwa always took the pits out so he didn't have to worry about Wooyoung choking. “Snack time!”

Poking the straw through the box and taking a few gulps of the drink, you jumped slightly and turned your body towards the other hybrid’s, remembering Hongjoong’s words. “Thank you, Youngie.”

Slurping a couple cherries into his mouth and gobbling them down without much thought, he turned his body towards yours as well, speaking with his mouth full, “Welcome, Kitty. Want a cherry?” When you nodded, he took a bite of another one and pressed it to your lips, tilting his head to the side when you gingerly nibbled on it, your cheeks flushed. “Something wrong?”

“It’s an indirect kiss,” you murmured shyly, taking the rest of the cherry into your mouth when he pushed it inside and chewing it.

Wooyoung took a sip of his milk, batting his long eyelashes at you, his big, bushy tail idly flicking at one of your bare thighs. “You want a direct one?”

“I-i mean, well, um…yes…” you stuttered out, barely able to handle Wooyoung pouncing on you, almost making you knock your milk carton over. He smelled so good. So yummy. You really wanted to taste him.

“Here I come, kitty cat.” Resting one hand near your head on the cushion below and leaning down towards you, he took a bite of a cherry and chewed, pressing it down onto your lips and rubbing the juices around. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips onto yours, idly licking the sweetness off of them, slowly deepening the kiss once you lowered your carton to the floor and wrapped your arms around his neck.

He blindly reached for another cherry or two. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Lick. Lick. Lick. Wooyoung’s tongue began to eagerly explore your mouth, licking at the roof of your mouth and at one of your inner cheeks, eventually focusing on your rough tongue, slurping it into his mouth like he did with the cherry and sucking on it. With your bodies and fluffy tails entwined, the fox hybrid began to rut himself against you out of habit, his hardened cock rubbing deliciously on your clit, the material of your tiny, thin shorts offering you pleasure as well.

Mewling into the hybrid’s mouth, you broke the kiss, your glistening lips connected with a few strings of saliva, your combined pheromones making the both of you feel like you were on fire and in need of more stimulation. Now feeling comfortable, you took the half-empty milk carton from his hand and pushed him onto the floor, hearing him let out a surprised yelp, not wasting any time landing down onto him with one leg in between his and the other pressing on the outside of it. “Kitty wants to play. Kitty wants to taste Youngie.”

Wooyoung took the carton from you and lifted his sweater up and over his tiny pink nipples, tilting the carton, pouring the milk onto the both of them, purring, “Taste me, Kitty. I know you want milk.”

As your pupils grew to the size of saucers, you leaned yourself down onto him, lapping the sweet, sticky liquid from his nipples one at a time, sucking on them to make sure you cleaned them properly. “Mm, yummy. More, Youngie. More milk.”

Flustered and turned on, Wooyoung felt like he was about to blow his load from feeling your tiny sandpaper-like tongue on his sensitive chest. He poured a bit more milk onto his chest, the liquid eventually trickling down his abdomen. When you dove back in to lap up the milk from his puffy nipples, your tongue slid back and forth over them at an increasingly desperate speed, making him moan more and more, unable to hold back. “Feels really good. Kitty’s making Youngie feel so hot.”

Your pussy pulsed and your ears twitched slightly from the praise you were receiving. It made you want more. You dragged your tongue down his soft body, still lapping at the milk, moving lower and lower until you got to the waistband of his shorts. Sniffing at the smell of pre-cum soaking through the thin material, you instinctively rubbed your cheek against his clothed cock, giving it a few experimental licks, feeling it twitch against your tongue.

Wooyoung whined softly, pulling his shorts down, his cock springing up into your face, your eyes focusing on the shiny reddened tip. “I have more milk for you, Kitty. Lick and suck, and it’ll come out.”

“Okay, Youngie.” You were familiar with oral because Hongjoong always let you do it to him when he woke up with morning wood, giving you a tummy full of cum to tide you over until breakfast. Feeling your shorts stick to your pussy with a heavy amount of arousal, you licked up the shaft like you were working with a dripping ice cream cone, slowly allowing it into your warm mouth and bobbing your head at a steady pace, drooling onto it.

Wooyoung arched his back, grasping at the carpet below with his free hand, whining and moaning, his voice coming out higher-pitched than before. "So good," he sighed out, gazing down at you with glossy, dilated eyes. "Don't stop, Kitty..."

You alternated between licking all around it and sucking on it, your rough tongue sending shivers up his spine, his fluffy tail jolting every now and then. When you pushed the majority of Wooyoung's pulsing cock into your mouth, the fox moaned wantonly, letting go of the milk carton, not noticing when it began to leak out into the plush carpet. He was too focused on how good it felt to have a pretty kitty play with his cock. So good, he might-

“Mmm…!” you reacted, feeling Wooyoung’s cum spilling down your throat, pulling away to have it shoot out onto your tongue in spurts. You swallowed it down in gulps, his cum so hot and thick it made you crave more, but wanting it inside your pussy instead. “Want more milk. Want it inside me. In my special place.”

Wooyoung’s ear rotated in different directions, his cock instantly coming to life upon hearing your soft-spoken request. “Kitty can have all of my milk,” he answered, reaching down to help you slip out of your shorts, a long, thick bead of arousal dripping off of your cunt and onto his twitching length. “Come on, kitty cat. Let’s breed~”

Wooyoung’s words made your brain short-circuit, not even realizing what was happening until you got onto the hybrid's lap, feeling something warm and heavy filling you up to the brim, your tight cunt already clenching around whatever was pumping in and out of you. Oh, Youngie’s thick cock. It was already deep inside you, sending pleasant chills up your spine, your fluffy tail coiling around one of the fox’s thighs. "Youngie," you purred, not even moving yourself, simply letting the fox eagerly slam his hips up into yours, the loud slapping sounds like music to your fluffy ears. You loved the sound of breeding. It made you feel so warm. So hot.

Panting, Wooyoung made a low, guttural sound, his pupils blown wide, suddenly grabbing your body and switching your positions, this time laying himself down against your back, the front of you pressing into the soft carpet. When you looked back up at him with surprise, your eyebrows still drawn from the pleasure, Wooyoung responded by fucking you a lot faster than before now that he was in full control. “This is a better position for breeding, Kitty. Want you to have a full litter.”

All this talk about breeding and having kitties of your own, fox hybrid kitties at that, made you almost feel a little dizzy. You just barely met Youngie in person that day, but you already wanted him to take care of you when you were full for him, have him protect you from harm, and love you. “Give Kitty Youngie’s milk. Want your kits in me. In Kitty’s breeding hole.”

Hearing you talk about the kits that he could help you produce sent him into an instinctive frenzy, fucking you hard into the soft floor, his hands squeezing into your bouncing ass on each side, kneading it and watching his cock disappear inside your slick cunt over and over. Making you let out deep purrs mixed with whiny, desperate mewls, Wooyoung hunched over you, burying his face into your neck, licking and sucking it, murmuring, “Kitty sounds so pretty. I like hearing Kitty’s pretty purring and moans…”

His praise and his ability to send you in an almost mind-melting state of pleasure made you revel in the fact that Wooyoung was your new special friend, hoping you could see him again soon in case he didn’t successfully breed you this time. “Youngie, it’s coming out,” you moaned, only having to get filled up with his cock one last time, before your release began pouring out of you.

“Kitty’s so wet and warm,” Wooyoung sighed deeply, slamming his hips into yours a few more times, your extra tight hole drawing whiny-sounding moans from his lips, his body starting to jolt. He squeezed your ass tightly, spurting his thick seed deep into your womb, barely able to moan, “Take my milk, little kitty. Wanna see you so full for me next time I see you. Wanna see you make your own milk for me.”

“Kitty wants Youngie’s kits…” you purred back, your lower half shuddering a bit after getting creampied. “Wanna make my own milk so that you can taste it.” You looked back at him to give him a sheepish smile, your tail swishing around and tickling the hybrid’s chest.

“I’ll give you my kits, kitty cat,” he reassured, pressing his lips to your head, rubbing your hips in a soothing way. He licked your earlobe, drawing more purrs from you. “And I’ll be sure to drink your milk. I promise~”

You began to purr even louder, relishing the thought of being Wooyoung’s mate, able to get bred and tasted by him whenever you both felt like it. Feeling Wooyoung slowly pull out, you whined at the emptiness and the feeling of his seed slowly dribbling out of you. You rested your sweaty face against the carpet, so fucked-out your small tongue slid out of your mouth, still feeling your heart pound inside your chest. You really liked Youngie. You wanted to see him again, and you were about to tell him, but the door unlocked and swung open.

“I told you not to have that last glass, dumbass,” Hongjoong scolded Seonghwa, despite the fierce blush on his face. His friend was leaning against him and nuzzling the side of his head, sufficiently drunk. Seonghwa mumbled something incoherently, his eyes shut, but suddenly opened them up when he heard his friend gasp out loud.

“No! Bad Y/N!” he started, already running over to the kitchen to grab the spray bottle, encouraging you to tiredly crawl into Wooyoung’s lap and rest your face in the crook of his neck, purring softly from taking in your mixed scents. Hongjoong stood in front of the both of you, looking between your naked sweaty bodies, slowly lowering the bottle to his side as to not ruin an (admittedly) cute moment. He instead faced Seonghwa who plopped down onto the couch and sunk into it, ready to fall asleep. “Aren’t you upset, Seonghwa? Wooyoung isn’t fixed. He probably–”

Seonghwa shook his head, pointing down to the carpet where a spot had formed on the dark carpet. “No, I think we’re good. He definitely pulled out. Just like I taught him.” He reached down to pat Wooyoung’s head, smiling softly down at his companion. “Good job, sweetie.”

Wooyoung chirped at his owner’s praise, still nuzzling you, holding you close, finding the vibrations of your constant purring to be extremely therapeutic.

Hongjoong walked up to the carpet and leaned down, inspecting it closely. “Are you sure this is cum? It’s not white or anything.” He placed his hands on his hips, looking down at Wooyoung with a stern expression, making the fox hybrid gulp. “What is that stain, Wooyoung?”

Knowing he wasn’t lying, Wooyoung rubbed your back in small circles, chiming with a proud smile, flashing his canine teeth up at the man. “It’s milk.”

✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖

FFF: @hwalysm @scuzmunkie @creativechaoticloner@dilucpegg3r @yeosxxx @gemjimin @wonwowzers @sanjoongie @manipulatedstars @k-drizzle 

Apply for the taglist here ⇢ ♡

© toxicccred, 2023.

[therhythmafterthesummer]

Call this an early birthday thought/gift

Chan and Pretty mirror sex

Like he gets to see a lot of pretty normally, but also getting to see her face while feeling her push back on him. He’s admiring her glorious everything and she just gets to soak it in and see her alphas face throughout the entire process.

But also a cute tender moment where their eyes lock in the mirror and Chan gets a shy little smile maybe a little blush🫠🥲🥰

-🥝

i read this a couple of days ago and i knew i wanted to write something for it, i just didn't have time to do it for my birthday sdjfskjdfhsf but close enough!

thank you kiwi for always sharing your big brain ideas and tickling the little lizard that controls my brain.

Pairing: Werewolf!Chan x Human!F.Reader (one of the main pairings of my WereRoomies series. you don’t really need to read any other instalment to understand/enjoy this piece). | Word Count: ~2k | Themes & Warnings: fantasy/supernatural AU · smut · established relationship · unprotected penetration [piv] (reader is presumed to be on birth control) · cum-eating · this was barely proof-read.

minors do not interact.

Chris knew you were smart, he’d never had doubts about it. But this… This was probably one of the best ideas you’d ever had.

He couldn’t help but wonder if you had taken what you were doing right now into consideration when you thought of this. He wasn’t even sure which option he preferred… for you to have known, or for you to be blissfully unaware of the potential such a purchase could have.

A new wardrobe for the spare bedroom of your shared flat was something you had been wanting for a while, and you’d finally gotten it a few days prior. As soon as Chris saw it in this room, after you’d so carefully put it together, he knew immediately what he wanted to do with it.

‘We need a big mirror in this room, considering we’re using it mostly to store our clothes and dress up’, you’d told him when he’d entered the room, and he agreed. A big mirror was a good idea, but not only to aid in the mundane activity of putting clothes on…

“O–oh, baby…” Your constant whines and moans always fueled him, but right now, looking at you through the mirror, they seemed to be affecting him even more.

“Mmm… That’s it, pretty. You feel so, so good, love. So good…” 

With your knees and chest planted on the floor, with your lower back arched just right, Chris had the absolute perfect angle to fuck you nice and good from behind. He was able to see your bum bouncing off of him with each thrust, he could hold your hips tight to pull you back to him, or place his hands on your waist to squeeze your soft sides. But, best of all, he could do all that and see your face through your shiny new mirror while he did.

The wardrobe doors were just two big mirrors, going from the very top, all the way to the floor. What an excellent add-on, in his humble opinion. It was perfect for Chris to see even more of you when he took you like this.

Whenever he was fucking you, he usually struggled to look at just one part of your body, there was just so much to see, so much to ogle, so much to worship and appreciate… That had never been more true than it was right now.

It was almost like his eyes didn’t know where to look. To what was right in front of him, in the flesh, or to what he could see in the mirror…? Any option was acceptable, honestly, but he just wanted to see it all.

Your hands weakly tried to hold onto something, desperately opening and closing over the tiled floor. It was an action that simply spurred him on, almost like he had his own personal challenge to fuck you as dumb as possible, to wipe you mind of anything that wasn’t him touching you, taking you…

Leaving one of his hands gripping the swell of your hip, Chris brought the other to your shoulder to keep you from moving away from him. He made sure to drag his hand all the way up your back when he did it, desperate to feel every centimetre of plush flesh. The motion had you furrowing your eyebrows, closing your eyes, and moaning his name oh, so sweetly, in a way that had his lower abdomen harshly flexing with need.

Holding onto you like this gave him even more leverage to go harder, and as soon as the strength of his thrusts increased, one of your hands found the one he had on your shoulder. His eyes zeroed in on the movement, looking away from the reflection of your face just in time to see you link your fingers with his.

The tender gesture had the pool of arousal in the pit of his stomach growing exponentially, especially when his eyes started to focus not only on your interlocked fingers, but also the skin right next to them, on the skin at the juncture of your neck and shoulder… Mindlessly, he stroked the area with his thumb–without letting go of your fingers, or slowing down his hips’ motions.

Oh, how soft it looked right there… just soft and perfect for him to sink his teeth into–

Shit.

He was doing it again…

He was thinking about marking you again. Not only that, but the thought was incessantly repeating in his mind over and over again. It was just impossible to ignore it.

Claim, claim, claim, claim… Mate, mate, mate, mate…

“Oh, fuck”, Chris threw his head back with a groan.

Your walls were squeezing him so tight, you were moaning so prettily… If he kept looking at that area he just knew his canines were going to enlarge on their own, he’d start drooling, and the need to bite you and mark you as his would just consume him whole, to the point where he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to hold himself back.

This had become a common problem. He used to think about it sometimes, but lately, especially when it was this close to a full moon night, the desire to mark you was absolutely unbearable.

Chris loved you. He hadn’t told you yet, he’d convinced himself that, in your human standards, it was probably too soon into your relationship to outright say it, but he knew he was absolutely in love with you. He knew, with zero doubts in his mind, that he wanted you all to himself for the rest of his life, and at moments like these, where you were both lost in your utmost primal needs, it was just hard to ignore his feelings.

But because he loved you, he couldn’t just let his instincts take over. He just couldn’t. Claiming you without a prior conversation and mutual agreement, without your consent, would be something he’d never forgive himself for. There was just no way he’d force himself on you like that just because of his idiotic dog urges.

So he tried to hold onto his humanity with all the strength he had, to keep his mind within the logical realm–or, at least, as logical as he could be while relentlessly ramming himself into you.

When he opened his eyes again, he diverted his attention to the mirror in front of you, and his hold on your shoulder tightened the moment your eyes found his through the mirror. The hand that had previously been on your hip moved, he wasn’t thinking, he just desperately needed to make you feel good.

Your eyes fluttered a bit when his fingers found your clit, and you bit down on your bottom lip to keep your moans somewhat contained. Even then, you didn’t look away from him, your gaze had him trapped right there, barely aware of the movement of his hands, focused solely on your blown pupils and your delicious warmth around him.

Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine…

Before he knew it, heat was pooling on his cheeks. He was blushing, suddenly overcome with his feelings for you.

“Fuck, baby, come here…” Chris’s hips stilled briefly, only to pull you back towards his chest.

Oh, he could see so much more of you like this. One of his hands found your tummy to knead the soft flesh, while the other found one of your breasts to play with your nipple, coaxing a quiet moan from your lips. You reached back and gripped his hair for stability before your lips pressed on his flushed cheek.

“You’re so cute”, you mumbled the words against his skin, and his blush immediately deepened.

“You’re cute–Shit–” His words caught in his throat when you started to push back against him, fucking yourself on his cock like you knew it was yours and yours only.

All for my mate, all of me, take it, take me…

“Chris”, you whined his name, and he was starting to truly feel lightheaded. “Don’t stop, baby, please. Fuck me, hm?”

His hips started to move on command, he didn’t even need to think about it. You wanted it? He’d give it to you. Whatever you wanted, he’d just give it to you. He’d give you the world if you asked him for it.

His lips attached to your neck, his pace increased, and one of his hands immediately resumed its previous motions on that precious nub at the apex of your thighs. “Like this, pretty baby? Is this what you want?”

You nodded, eagerly offering him an enthusiastic ‘Yes, fuck!’ that had his chest swelling with pride.

My mate, for me, mine, mine, mine… Claim, mark, all mine…

Chris detached his lips from your neck when his instincts started pulling his thoughts in all sorts of directions. Instead, he looked ahead, and focused on your face, locking eyes with you again through the mirror. 

“C’mon, pretty. Aren’t you gonna come on my cock? Wasn’t that what you wanted?” Chris rubbed quick circles on your clit, eliciting a string of swears from your lips.

You nodded once again, rocking your hips to meet his harsh thrusts. “Gonna–Oh, fuck!”

Your body started trembling with your release, your walls fluttered deliciously around his length, and Chris was sure he was about to burst.

“Fuck, that’s so fucking good. I’m so fucking close, love”, Chris mumbled the words against your cheek, he wasn’t sure if you were aware of what he was saying, but if there was one thing about him was that he wasn’t going to shut up about how good you always made him feel.

When he came, he did it deep inside you, and he started seeing white. He was sure he was ascending and this was how being in heaven felt like. Chris could vaguely hear himself repeating ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck…’ over and over again, just like he could vaguely hear your words of encouragement.

Love you, love you, love you, love you… My pretty mate just for me…

It was genuinely hard to hear anything at all over his instincts squeezing his mind and heart along each purposeful clench of your walls.

“You’re so good to me”, was the first thing you said that Chris could fully understand as the final spurts of cum filled up your cunt. “You’re so good, Chris, baby…”

If his cheeks hadn’t been almost permanently flushed for a while now, he was sure he would have blushed right then and there.

When all his senses returned to him, he looked at you through the mirror once again, finding you already looking and smiling at him.

A smile appeared on his face as well, and he kissed your shoulder, bringing his hand further down your centre as he pulled out. Only a few seconds passed before his cum started trickling out of your hole and onto his fingers.

He kept kissing your skin leisurely as he squished your soft tummy, and spread his cum all over your core. You giggled softly, caressing his arms tenderly while you let him play with your mixed fluids to his heart’s content.

Finally, he brought two fingers to your mouth. You simply let him in, suckling his digits, diligently cleaning them up and swallowing the remnants of his release.

“You are so, so good to me”, Chris mumbled against your hair, where he placed a soft kiss after.

He pulled his fingers out of your mouth, and you smiled at him once again. After turning around, you gave him a quick peck on the lips before you laid down on the bare floor. Chris, of course, immediately laid down next to you, and quickly shuffled so he could lay his head on your chest.

“This closet was an absolutely brilliant purchase, pretty”, he brought a hand to one of your knees, and started to massage it softly.

You chuckled, burying your fingers in his hair to play with it. “I’m afraid you won’t want to leave this room now”.

Chris further wrapped his limbs around your body, giggling mischievously at the thought, moving his hand to the other knee. “Can you blame me? I can look at my pretty girlfriend from so many different angles now. It’s like a dream, y’know?”

“Easy to please, aren’t we?” You chuckled, playfully tugging on his locks before you pressed a kiss to his head.

“You know me. I’m a simple wolf, with simple needs”, he mumbled against the skin of your chest, then placed a kiss on it. “Are your knees okay?”

“They’re fine. Don’t worry”, you hugged him tighter, and Chris all but melted in your hold.

You both laid down there for a while, just relishing the skin to skin contact, until you lightly tugged on his hair again, but this time just to get his attention.

“C’mon, babe. We need to actually pack our clothes. It’s my first time going to your monthly trips, don’t wanna forget anything”.

Ah, yes.

That was what you had originally come into this room for… to pack your bags for the trip. Chris definitely got carried away when he saw you here, wearing nothing but his t-shirt while you spoke about helping him and the rest of your packmates during their monthly run…

He couldn’t even bring himself to pretend he was sorry that he’d interrupted your task. And, surely, you already knew he wasn’t sorry at all.

In fact, he was certain you already knew it’d happen again.

© therhythmafterthesummer 2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my stories.

tagging everyone that wants to be tagged in my wereroomies instalments. if you don’t want to be tagged in little ask responses like these let me know ! If you want to be added to the tag list, you can fill in this form. be aware that you must have an indication that you’re an adult in your blog if you want me to tag you in my works

@comet-falls · @princelingperfect · @notastraykid · @iadorethemskz · @kileidoscope · @maknae00 · @dundullresident · @vitrealisbunny · @yeetfellx · @minnysproutgriffinteddy · @oiminho · @leedunno · @luxsonny · @mamieishere · @straylightdream · @bintificreads · @seo--changbin · @ppiri-bahng · @letsbangchanblog · @fun-fanfics · @armystay89 · @iightsung · @cutiespaghetti · @noellllslut · @100layersofdaddyissues · @toplinehyunjin · @tartshearts · @biribarabiribbaem · @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad · @stayconnecteed · @floatingcoffecup · @5starlee · @ven-fic-recs · @poutypoutybin · @iloveksmohsomuch · @straydhampir · @svintsandghosts · @kim-hao-han · @brownriceocean · @kpopsstuffs · @crisle19

General Masterlist

[tieronecrush]

hot & heavy

epilogue: our love is going gold

neighbor!joel x f!reader

series masterlist

series rating: E (18+ MDNI)

series summary:

over the course of three summers, joel miller becomes woven into your life. the first summer is spent falling for him; nannying his daughter and sneaking around with him in a burning love affair. you know how you feel about joel, he isn’t so sure about how it all is gonna work. the second summer is brief. a month spent at home after graduation and before you move to boston for your dream job. one look at you, one time hearing your voice, and joel is hooked again. he pines over you for that month, but you think — how is long distance of over a thousand miles going to work for a single dad? the third summer, you return home burnt out and pride bruised from your post-grad life. you need time to feel at home again, like your complete self, so you’ve come back home with no return ticket booked. it’s only a matter of time before joel seeks you out, slowly spending more time with you. without an inevitable end to the summer looming over you both, what chances are you willing to take?

word count: 17.2k (but she's done. like done, done.)

warnings (**SPOLIERS**): NO OUTBREAK (don’t need to worry about the mushies), no use of y/n, inexperienced reader, age gap (joel is 30/31, reader is 22), canon-divergent (sarah is now 10 y/o), nanny au, pet names (sweetheart, darling, sweet girl, mariposa, etc.), established relationship, engagement, marriage, alcohol, eating, very lovey romantic, polite southern manners, spanish/spanglish cause joel is latino, soft joel, domestic joel, WIFE!! GUY!! JOEL!!, discussion of parenting, step-parenting, struggles with conceiving, negative self talk and image, smut, soft dom joel, fingering, oral (f receiving), joel worships the ground his wife walks on and also her body, praise, unprotected p in v (they're tryna get pregnant, not you!), breeding kink, sort of nursing kink? joel is briefly obsessed with your tits and makes comments, mating press, a flash of cumplay, the BRIEFEST mention of daddy kink, joel really wants to give his wife a baby, pregnancy, a mention of giving birth, girl dad joel, CUTE FAMILY!!!

also this is the song mentioned <3 it's a fave of mine and i think very joel & mari

a/n: this has been a doozy but happy to hand this over to y'all. this is simply what i envisioned for their future, and if you had different thoughts, i would love to hear them! <3 or if you have any headcanons for their life beyond this, drop them in my inbox! this fic and these characters are my children and i love them very much. will probably keep them alive somehow. and thank you to everyone who's read this series, you are all so special to me and have sincerely made me feel so much more confident in my writing!

as always, thank you thank you thank you @northernbluess for beta-ing, couldn't do it without you! and this extremely long ending is dedicated to el and kiwi @kiwisbell you are my hype people fr

i feel like i need to say like signing off on h&h now lol so this is me doing that & closing the book!

** this is set over three additional summers post-main story **

first of many

After the holidays, it was an easy decision to move in with Joel and Sarah. The Millers had joined your family for their annual, lowkey celebrations; spending Christmas Eve with Joel and Sarah, it was a treat to witness him playing Santa after Sarah had gone to bed. Only a few curses under his breath putting together the new dollhouse she’d requested from St Nick, the other presents from her father, and your gifts to her carefully wrapped under the tree. The two of you split the plate of cookies while watching A Christmas Story, you and Joel taking turns mumbling the words to the iconic scenes under your breaths.

The next morning, your heart was overwhelmed with the love that you hold for this family that has welcomed you in and made you a part of it. Sarah gifted you a photo frame that she’d made at school, painted with flowers and butterflies, and a photo of the three of you from the trip to the apple orchard you’d taken that fall. Once Sarah was occupied with her new treasures, gifts were exchanged between you and Joel. Requesting to gift first, you stand up from the couch and tiptoe around Sarah and her new dolls sprawled across the floor to the front hall closet and retrieve a brand new, custom acoustic guitar. 

Sitting back with him, guitar placed into his hands and his eyes combing over it, his lips part with a gasping breath when he notices in the inlay of ‘SME’ for his daughter’s name, Sarah Elena.

“The old one in the corner of your room was lookin’ a little worse for wear, and I hadn’t seen you play it in a while…” you trail off in the silence, waiting for his response, “Do you—do you like it? Is it the right kind? I tried to match it the best I could to the one upstairs.”

“Oh, Mari baby, I love it. It’s beautiful, thank you so much…” He shakes his head, taking another sighing exhale in appreciation as he turns it in his hands. “Hadn’t played the other one 'cause it wasn’t quite playable anymore. Restrung it a few too many times, the wood was warped from some water damage. The perils of having a toddler around years ago. This is…it’s perfect, Mariposa.”

You beam, shifting in your seat and anxiously fiddling with your fingers. Joel sets the instrument down next to him carefully, turning back to you. He leans in, kissing you delicately and whispering another ‘thank you’ against your lips, “Guess m’gonna have to serenade you now.”

“Oh, yeah, J. I expect one nightly,” you playfully respond, kissing him again before he pulls away, his turn to stand from his place on the couch. 

He wanders over to the tree, plucking the last wrapped gift from under it, and returning to sit next to you. Handing over the small rectangular box, you unwrap it gingerly, glancing at Joel’s knee bouncing. You gently set your hand on it, smiling at him which he returns, biting his lip to channel his jittery energy. Opening the box, you’re met with the shining gold links of a beautiful charm bracelet. Your eyes wander over the small icons, feeling your chest tighten with love as you take them all in: A small ‘S’ with a ruby-colored stone at each end of the curve, a matching ‘J’ with a sapphire embedded into it right next to the ‘S; there’s a tiny gold key, nearly identical to the one he had given to you those three summers before for your job that started it all; a tiny set of longhorn antlers that is reminiscent of home; a lighthouse that reminds you of one you visited while living in Boston, a day you had documented and sent Joel some of the photos in the mail to recap your time. It was a day you had been happy there, and it made your heart ache that he remembered that. The last charm on the bracelet is a butterfly, bejeweled with kelly green stones, the color of the leaves that you told him were your favorite years ago. The ache in your chest is worked out of its knot with Joel’s hand at your back, a gasping breath as you blink back tears.

Clearing your throat, your watery smile has a flash of worry crossing his eyes before you hand him the bracelet you’ve taken out of the box, lightly requesting, “Will you put it on for me?”

Joel nods shyly, taking the dainty piece in his hands, and hooking the clasp around your wrist after a few tries. You both admire it, your smile growing wider and his matching yours.

“Merry Christmas, Mari baby. I love you.”

“Merry Christmas, J. I love you, too.”

Now, months later, the bracelet on your wrist glints in the sun as you hold onto Sarah’s hand, letting her lead you around the atrium filled with butterflies. Spending the day at the same farm you three had visited summers ago, and had kept up with the tradition with the summers following, you picked an abundance of strawberries, wandered through the nature paths, and now ending the day at the youngest Miller’s favorite spot.

Sarah wildly points out the different types of butterflies, the encyclopedia book of the insect’s species that you had gifted her for Christmas coming in handy for today as she reads the small signs of each patterned, winged creature, adding in her tidbits that she remembers. A grin stays plastered on your face as you listen intently, paying no mind to Joel trailing behind the two of you.

Giving your lessons on the flora that you know of in the gardens, Sarah listens to you as well. Stopping in front of the small waterfall, surrounded by tropical plants and flowers, the two of you go back and forth in fun facts about plants and butterflies, unaware as Joel saddles up behind you. Sarah glances back over her shoulder and grins, the expression reading as knowing and mischievous. Before turning around, you start to warn Joel behind you playfully, “J, if you’re even thinking about pushing me or splashing me, I will ki—”

Your breath catches when you finally face him, eyes dropping to meet his; the backpack he’d be adamant about carrying all day is at his feet, unzipped, and in his hands is a small, forest-green velvet box. Joel rests on one knee, a soft but bright, devoted smile on his face.

“Oh my god…” It comes from your lips as a whisper, your free hand reaching up to cover your mouth while the other continues to tether you to Sarah at your side, her small giggle hitting your ears as Joel glances at her, sending her a wink.

Eyes back on your face, Joel clears his throat, adjusting himself on his knee as he takes a deep breath, “I have been trying to figure out exactly what to say, and I can’t seem to find quite the right words that tell you exactly how I feel about you. I love you, so much, Mariposa. The second you entered my life, that time I saw you for only seconds in your backyard while I was touring the house, I knew I had to meet you. And then the first time I met you, well, I knew that you were who I needed.

“I’ve been walking around blind, trying to figure out life for years, and moving next door to you, that was the last piece falling into place. You have made my life, and Sarah’s life, a million times better. And while these past few years haven’t been picture-perfect for us, we made it through, and I know that we can take on anything that comes our way. Eres el alma más hermosa que he conocido, y soy muy afortunada de tenerte. (You are the most beautiful soul I have ever met, and I am so lucky to have you.) I’ve been waiting for years to do this, Mari baby, and I can’t have any more summers pass by without you being mine. Tú eres mi media naranja. (You’re my soulmate.) I love you. Te amo, Mari. You’re my soulmate, sweet girl, and I can’t take another day without the promise of forever. Will you marry me, Mariposa?”

Without hesitation, you nod your head frantically, your tears that started falling as soon as Joel started speaking continue to flow. You uncover your mouth, squeezing Sarah’s hand and sharing a smile with her before she takes her hand away.

“Yes, oh my gosh, Joel…of course, of course, I’ll marry you. I love you so much, J.” You squat down in front of him, left hand trembling as you hold it out for him. He carefully takes the ring from the box, and Sarah, ever the helper, takes it from the spot where it rests on his knee for safekeeping. The delicate gold band slips onto your finger, embellished with clusters of tiny gems and centered with an emerald cut diamond. It’s perfectly you, and you can’t wipe the smile off your face as you watch Joel settle the piece of jewelry on your finger. Both of you take a deep breath, admiring the sight before your eyes find each other’s again, matching expressions of complete admiration. Your hands find his cheeks, pulling him in for a tenderly passionate kiss, attempting to breathe all the love in your chest into the kiss and his heart. Joel pulls away first, resting his forehead against yours for a quiet moment.

“Thank you, J,” you whisper, and his head tilts with curiosity.

“For what, baby? I think I should be thankin’ you for sayin’ yes to me.” He chuckles and rubs his thumb at the back of your hand, skimming next to the band of the new addition.

“Everything. For not giving up. Your patience when I was still finding my way back to you. How effortlessly you’ve welcomed me into your life and your family…” Cheating your body away, one hand reaches out to pull Sarah into the small huddle, reuniting the moment within your unit of three, “I just—I can’t wait for all my summers to be spent with you both.”

“I can’t wait either. This is gonna be the first of many, Mari baby.”

And the two of you really couldn’t wait.

Only a week after Joel was down on one knee, your family was throwing you an engagement party. Tommy, a few of Joel’s close friends from his contracting company, your college friends, and neighbors were all in attendance to celebrate the two of you, and it was a big to-do. Drinks flowing, music playing, and food was being passed around. Everything under the warmth of a Texas night and the strung lights across the stretch of your parents’ backyard. Joel was glued to your side the entire night, hand on your back or clasped in yours, grabbing your refills and whispering in your ear to make you laugh.

“So…are all of these people coming to the wedding? ‘Cause I can count about half that I have no idea who they are.”

To that, you whispered back, “I don’t know them either, so definitely not. Unless they wanna buy us the most expensive thing on the registry.” Joel laughed, squeezing you closer — if it were even possible — and pressing a kiss to your temple.

Later, once you two were far past tipsy, Joel mumbled against your ear, barely able to get the words out without drunkenly giggling himself, “D’you think Mrs. Clarke is thinkin’ m’the one that got away?”

You couldn’t contain your laughter, bursting out in the middle of the conversation happening around you two, quickly covering your mouth as the lingering hiccups escape, “I think she’s singin’ the blues about you, Miller.”

The rest of the evening was filled with small moments between the two of you; never left alone long enough to have a full conversation on your own. Whispers of love and affection breathed out, fleeting kisses exchanged. It wasn’t until the party was over, everyone dwindled out the door and back to their homes, that you and Joel took a beat to speak to each other in more than one sentence. The early hours of the morning had crept in without anyone quite noticing, and Sarah was knocked out, brought inside to sleep in your old bedroom around 10pm when she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. Joel now held her in his arms, her head laying on his shoulder while the three of you walked the short distance home. After your quiet goodnight to Sarah that went unheard by her sleeping self, Joel put her down, taking off her shoes and leaving her undisturbed to sleep in her clothes.

Back in the ensuite of your, now, shared bedroom, you’re lazily getting ready for bed, movements slower and lagging from the alcohol you consumed. Joel stands behind you, facing your reflection in the mirror and giving you a smile as the exhaustion catches up to him.

“You have fun tonight, sweet girl?” His vocal cords rub together in a fry, hands finding their place on your waist and drawing you back into his chest. Littering kisses at the back of your neck, he hums contently before you affectionately shoo him off to brush his teeth while you apply your skincare.

“‘Course I did, J. Spent most of the night with you, how could I not have fun?” You grin at him from in front of your side of the double sinks, gently rubbing in your moisturizer. “Have you given any thought as to when you wanna set a date for?”

Whatever he responds is muffled by the foamy toothpaste, your face twisting in confusion before he leans over and spits out, rinsing his mouth and toothbrush. Standing back up, he rests his hip against the countertop while facing you, shrugging as he smirks slightly, “As soon as possible. Baby, I’d get married to ya in a garbage dump if it meant we could get married right this second. No puedo esperar para hacerte mi esposa. (Can’t wait to make you my wife.) And I know you don’t want that, and I want to make you happy, so whenever you want, Mari. Lo que sea que desees, lo haré realidad. (Whatever you wish for, I’ll make a reality.) But I will say, summer’s kind of our thing.”

A gentle smile stretches across your lips as you step closer, hands coming to rest on his chest and massaging your fingers gently into the muscles there, “Well, how about we do this summer? I mean, I don’t want anything fancy, just something special for us. Thought maybe we could do it here, in our backyard and my parents’. Where we met and fell in love and broke up and fell in love again and—”

“I love that idea, sweetheart. Think it’s perfect for us…” Joel punctuates his work by stealing a kiss, mint and strawberry lip balm melting on his tongue when he deepens it only for a few seconds, “Think we can manage for Labor Day weekend, mi amor?”

Nodding confidently, your hands skate up to his shoulders, pulling him down for another kiss, “I believe we just set our wedding date, Miller.”

“Damn right, we did, Miller.”

A whirlwind of planning and three months later, you now stand in your childhood bedroom on the second floor of your parent’s house, admiring yourself in the full-length mirror standing in the corner. Your mom had helped you with your hair, a small gold barette holding one side away from your face; your makeup was fairly minimal, fresh, and bright, but nothing too heavy that would melt in the heat that has graced Austin this weekend.

On your wrist is your charm bracelet from Joel, a simple gold locket to match that your father had gifted you the evening before at the rehearsal dinner — it has belonged to his grandmother, and now your grandma wanted you to have it since she couldn’t make the trip down due to her age. It was your ‘something old’ he said, playing into the old traditions that seemed to charm your entire family. 

Your ‘something borrowed’ was a pair of white strappy sandals from your mom, ones that she had worn to her rehearsal dinner when she married your dad. The title of ‘something new’ belonged to the charm hanging off of your wrist that was hand-delivered to you this morning from Tommy, per the request of Joel since you both were getting ready in opposite houses. The gift box unveiled a gold lotus flower, hand painted with deep magenta petals. Inside the lid of the box was a folded note, the words written by your soon-to-be husband in his usual scrawl.

Mi amor,

Got to reading one of your books you leave around about plants, and they were talking about the lotus flower. Made me think of you — since they go back to the murky water each evening and open their blooms at the break of day. You always start fresh, sweet girl, you’re so resilient and strong and pure of heart. No matter what happens, you get through it. And you won’t have to go at it alone, baby. I’m gonna be right there with you through anything.

You make me a better man.

Te amo, mi media naranja.

J

You had to touch up your makeup after having read the note over and over for minutes straight, now fresh faced and eager to get downstairs. One last time in the mirror, you give yourself the once over, smoothing the long, full skirt of your linen dress. The ruched empire bodice lays across your chest, framing your neck with a square shape along with the cap sleeves. Simple, but it feels perfectly you. And now, you were finally on your way to get your something blue: Joel in his navy suit, waiting at the end of the aisle for you.

Everyone’s gathered in their seats, only a crowd of around forty people from your lives occupying the rows, all carefully selected to make the cut. It was easy for Joel, he had three people he wanted there for sure, and well, his daughter didn’t have a choice living right next door, plus with her dad being the groom, and you being the bride. The only chance of a wild card he had was Tommy, but he was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning despite the many shots he had the night prior. At the rehearsal dinner of all places.

Dressed and gaffed, he stands at the end of the short aisle after having walked down it hand-in-hand with Sarah, who was donning a lilac dress she picked out with your help and her hair in her natural, bouncy curls. She now sits next to Tommy in the front row, whose new girlfriend Maria is sitting on the other side of him, stealing peeks over the back of the seat to try to catch a glimpse of you at the top of the deck stairs. Joel is doing the same, eyes flickering from scanning over the crowd to tunneling at the opening of the stairs. 

Music starts and it immediately tunes out of his ears, a tingle of excitement radiating from his chest throughout his body. A vision in white, you appear at the stairs with your arm linked to your dad, Mark; he isn’t paying attention to anything but you, captivated by your beauty. His heartbeat kicks up when you walk down, reaching the end of the grassy path between rows of chairs, and stopping for a moment. With the bouquet in one hand, you use the other that was resting on your dad’s arm to give him a short wave that he returns with a grin.

Each step you take brings up tears in his eyes, an overwhelming joy clenching around his heart. A few drop down his cheeks, using one of his thumbs to wipe away the streaks as you give him a gentle smile, speeding up your walk and dragging your dad along with you. The guests laugh at the eagerness, Joel rocking on the balls of his feet as he bites back his wild grin when you finally reach him. Exchanging hugs with your dad, Mark shakes Joel’s hand before clapping him on the back, a sure nod directed to him.

His hand slips into yours naturally, helping you with the last few steps to stand in front of him, exhaling a deep breath. A smile that he can’t wipe off stretches across his face, looking into your eyes as he lifts a hand to wipe his cheeks. You do the same, delicate touch against his skin while your gaze stays trained on his. Beating out of his chest, his heart thumps deeply, the wings of his butterfly fluttering madly in his gut in time with his heartbeat.

“Hey, Mari.”

“Hi, J.”

Everyone settles back in their seats, and your brother stands at the makeshift altar, a carved arbor handmade by Joel over the last few months frames the three of you in front of your guests. You turn to hand off the wildflower bouquet you put together to Sarah, eager to fulfill her responsibility of holding it during the ceremony. She grins, whispering to you loud enough for him to hear when she takes the arrangement.

“You look so pretty, Posey. I’m excited for you to marry Daddy.” Your hand reaches for her curls, squatting down in your dress to address her at eye level, unconditional love shining in your eyes as you look at his daughter.

“You look beautiful, Sare Bear. I’m so excited, too.” Other words are exchanged only between the two of you, a hug shared before Sarah retreats to her chair next to Tommy and you stand up and take Joel’s hands.

Chris ambles through an introduction, recollecting his version of events, as well as both of your sides, for how your relationship has progressed. Humor was laced throughout, laughter bubbling over throughout the crowd of guests, and especially between the two of you when you shared knowing expressions.

The ceremony moves quickly, with no religious elements to extend the length, simply secular. Before he knows it, Chris is reaching the vows, allowing a moment for Tommy to present the rings to each of you, clapping a hand on his brother’s back.

“Don’t fuck this one up, brother. Posey’s a good ‘un. Way too good for you—”

Joel cuts him off with a mumble and an eye roll, “I know all of this, Tommy, but thank you for the reminder.”

Chris directs Joel to go first, a deep inhale and extended exhale fills the air as you give his hands a reassuring squeeze. He flashes a smile at you before he drops one of your hands, finishing in his inside jacket pocket for the small slip of paper.

“I tried to memorize this, but we both know that wasn’t gonna happen…” he huffs out a nervous chuckle, reading over the page before his eyes come back to you, a patient and gentle grin on your face, “I genuinely hope you know how much I love you. I try to show you, to tell you, to make you feel it through osmosis every day, but I truly hope you can feel it. Through all that we have been through together and on our own, I have always had you in my mind. I thought about you every day you were away, and all I was hoping for was your happiness. I cannot tell you what it means that you have found your happiness with me, but I will be thanking whatever forces are out there for bringing us back together. Our roads may have been bumpy, and they may be in the future, but I’m so thankful to have you in my passenger seat. Cause we both know you don’t like to drive.” Joel winks and the crowd of guests laugh.

“I never want to let go. And I’m never going to let you go, Mariposa, I’m in it for the long run.  Eres todo para mí. (You are everything to me.) You are everything I have ever asked for, hoped for, didn't think I deserved. You are…un alma tan pura (such a pure soul) and I don't know how you ended up with me, but I'm countin’ my luck every second of every day. I love you through anything, mi Mariposa, and I cannot wait for our future together, as a family. I’m so happy that you have found a place you belong with Sarah and me, and I feel so lucky that you have chosen me. Te amo, mi Mariposa. Siempre.”

Recovering from your tears, you choke out a small sob that tugs on his heartstrings, tightening his grip on your hand while his brow furrows softly in concern.

“Happy tears, I promise, J. Very happy tears.” Another sob comes with a burst of laughter, a hand of yours fanning your face. Joel reaches up, wiping away the stragglers, careful to not smudge any of your mascara. With a deep breath, you focus back, centered, offering Joel your left hand. He repeats the phrase from Chris, who recites it from his printed-out online ordainment course before slipping the simple matching gold band onto your finger above your engagement ring, ears ringing when he sees the symbol of his love and commitment on your finger, where it will stay for the rest of his time on this Earth.

Next, it was your turn to recite your vows, Chris pulled a piece of paper from his jacket and handed it to you. A giggle slips from your lips, wavering the small folded sheet, “Couldn’t memorize it either. Got too much to say…”

Joel relaxes in his stance, thumb circling the back of your palm as he listens, the butterfly wings fluttering into his chest and up to his head, love overwhelming his nervous system across his body. You clear your throat, looking up from the wrinkled white sheet, “I didn’t know that one summer spent at home would completely send me on a whole new life path, but looking back, I am eternally grateful that I wanted to mooch off my parents for as long as possible. That first summer, I fell hard and fast, and despite the obstacles, my love continued to root deeper inside of me and grow out new branches with every memory we made together. I am so lucky to have been welcomed so easily into the Miller household, and I cannot imagine my life with you or Sarah there right next to me. You both have brought so much into my life and thanks to you, J, I feel like I have truly found myself. 

“I was always searching for what I was meant to do, who I was meant to be, and what I would leave behind in my life. And while I went out searching everywhere, the answer was my next-door neighbor. I am meant to be your person, I was meant to care and love and create a life with you, and your wonderful daughter, and I know I will leave behind all my love for you and our family behind. My success does not need to be measured by the reach of my impact, but by how deeply I love you. That is all that matters to me, to make you feel loved and supported and to know how incredible you are. You mean the world to me, and I love Sarah as if she were my own; both of you are my best friends and I could not do this life without you. I am so excited to spend the rest of my days, and the rest of my summers with you, J. I love you. Forever.”

The same routine goes for you, slipping a gold band around Joel’s left ring finger. He flexes with the new accessory on his hand, admiring it before he looks at you, a wide and wild grin crossing his face as he listens as Chris starts to ask him that very special question, “Joel, do you ta—”

“Absolutely I do. No question.”

Laughter rises from the attendees, and you, playfully roll your eyes. Chris nods shortly, chuckling as he turns to address you with the same question. He states your name, inquiring, “Do you ta—”

“Of course, I do. Only been waitin’ years for this to happen.” 

Joel laughs, shaking his head as he mumbles a sweet agreement, “You and me both, baby.”

Chris drops the papers he was reading from next to him on the grass, clasping his hands together, “Well, that made it damn easy for me. With the power vested in me by apparently the state of Texas, but who really knows, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Now y’all can kiss finally.”

A hand presses against the small of your back, pulling you into his chest as he folds down, latching your lips to his in a deep kiss, all of his love pouring into the moment. It takes restraint to not take it further in front of everyone, your intoxicating taste drawing him in and quenching a perpetual thirst he has. You lean back first, fingertips digging into his shoulders to hold him off as you whisper, “Gotta keep some decorum until tonight, Mr. Miller.”

“Hard to do that with you, Mrs. Miller,” he rasps back, matching blindingly bright grins across your faces as you right yourself, turning to face your guests as your brother loudly announces.

“For the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Miller!”

With the low-key, intimate wedding that you both had planned together, there was no real formal separation of the ceremony and reception. Instead, everyone wandered over to the backyard of Joel’s home, which was now yours, too. There were rented tables set up with chairs around, no seating chart, and a checkered dance floor set up in the middle of the lawn. Lights have been strung from his deck to the tree at the back of the property line that holds Sarah’s tire swing, some lanterns strewn about to add more light as the sun sets in the later evening. 

The family-favorite restaurant in the city that the three of you have frequented, even as friends, catered the meal, and your parents, ever so prepared, had stocked up all summer with booze. Your dad plays pretend bartender, getting your now-husband behind the tablecloth-covered folding table and pouring heavy drinks and somehow heavier shots. By sundown, everyone was liquored up enough to cheer for you both to have a first dance, chanting their request over and over.

Joel looks at you from his spot next to you, eyebrows raising in question. His hand at your back draws you closer, starting to sway to whatever song is playing as he grins with a looseness to him, relieved to have you as his for good and relaxed from the alcohol in his blood. “C’mon, Mari baby, I wanna dance with you. M’wife. I got the perfect song.”

“Okay, okay, you go tell Chris what song you want and see if he’s got it on his iPod.” 

You push Joel along, giggling to yourself as he shuffles over to Chris, the makeshift DJ for the evening. Joel leans in, talking in your brother’s ear over the music currently playing. They exchange a smile and nod, Joel laying a hand on his shoulder and shaking it affectionately. His beer gets abandoned on the nearest surface, giddily running over to you and taking your hand. Impatiently, he pulls you to the center of the dance floor, and Tommy intercepts your drink before it sloshes all over the front of you, huffing out a disbelieving breath as you continue to drag behind Joel.

Your husband turns you in his arms, one hand finding your back as the other lifts your joined ones toward his shoulder, elbows bent. Everyone else clears the dancefloor as an upbeat guitar riff sounds out of the speakers surrounding the dancefloor, the bright drums kicking in as Joel starts to shuffle the two of you around the dancefloor, a swing to your movements again.

The familiar lyrics of Orleans’ Still the One that Joel has sung to you many times over the last year are recited right back to you, making you reminisce about the time you were driving in the car to pick up Sarah from camp, a rare afternoon that both of you had off together. The song had come onto Joel’s favorite classic rock station, perking him up in his seat as he turned the volume dial up.

“Oh, Mari baby, this is such a great song.”

Not as familiar with it, you listen, giggling as he sings along with his words pointed at you, and you had to admit, they were pretty sickly sweet. Ever since then, Joel got into the habit of singing it to you, learning to play it after he received his new guitar from you at Christmas.

Dancing with him now, under the sticky heat of the tail end of Texan summer, surrounded by family and friends, he makes you feel as if it’s only the two of you again like it was for every other moment before with this same song.

In your ear, he sings along only for you, pulling away and twirling you as y’all take over the entire dancefloor with how free and loose you’re playing it. “You’re still the one that makes me laugh…still the one that’s my better half…we’re still havin’ fun and you’re still the one.”

At the next chorus, you join him in singing along, laughing at his excitement, both of you singing along louder. The song reaches the guitar solo, and Joel takes both of your hands, swinging you out from his chest before pulling you back in; he spins you to cross your arms in front of you, and your back to his chest before twirling you out. On the last line, when the final word is dragged out, he wraps his arms around you, spinning both of you around until the final chord strikes, setting you down and chests heaving to catch your breaths. Wide smiles still find your open mouths, cheers and whistles from the guests gathered around the dancefloor, now filling the checkered floor as the next song plays.

Breathless, Joel grins madly, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly before asking, “Think we did pretty damn good for unplanned, don’t you, Miller?”

“Damn right, we did, Miller.”

The rest of the evening was all the same, a night spent with your closest family and friends all celebrating the two of you and your love. Both you and Joel shared a dance with Sarah separately, relishing in her unbridled joy and Joel comforted his daughter when she shed a few tears about how happy she was. Your dad pulled you for a short jaunt around the dancefloor, and Joel asked your mom for a dance, which she accepted happily as a stand-in for his mom.

More drinks flowed into glasses and out of bottles, your shoes kicked off and Joel���s jacket and tie discarded onto the back of a chair somewhere. Your cheeks ached from how much you were smiling and laughing the whole time, a weight lifted, the promise of forever with your favorite person now on its way to being a reality.

You both ceremoniously cut the small single-tiered cake that your mom ordered, serving the slice on a plate. Grabbing a piece with your hands, you cheers it with Joel’s, watching as his went into his mouth and laughing as yours went across his cheek. He feigned shock, shaking his head as he looked at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes, taking a step closer. A turn on the ball of your foot directs you in an attempt to get away; failing miserably, misstepping from your level of drunkenness, Joel catches you in his arms. Turning you back around to face him, he steals a purposefully sloppy kiss, buttercream smearing against your lips and chin, the taste of vanilla coating your tongue as it melts into the taste of Joel, whiskey, beer, and sugary sweetness from the dessert.

At the very end of the night, most guests in cabs home or retreat to their homes down the street, it’s left to your closest people. The last song of the night is announced by Chris, the same song that has come up again and again for the two of you trilling over the speakers. Everyone dances and sings along to American Pie, the perfect cyclical moment for the two of you, and the closing moment of your summer. Sarah dances with the two of you, laughing as Joel twirls her around, infectious smiles on their faces. 

Your heart grows in your chest, nearly to the point of bursting as you take a step back in your mind, taking in all of the moment as it surrounds you. In the backyard of your new house, the next chapter of your life starts with Joel and Sarah; right next door is your childhood home, full of love and memories with your parents and brother. Even through the hardships, these places and people have never stopped feeling like home.

The song finishes with a flourish, Joel tucking you into his chest after he scoops Sarah into his arms with a soft groan. Sarah lays her head on her dad drowsily and he presses a kiss to her forehead, mirroring the same on yours; a mumble against your skin is barely heard by you, his drawl exaggerated by the liquor, “Mi Mariposa y mariposita. My lil’ Bug. Love my girls so much.”

Tommy slides sleepy Sarah into his arms from Joel after you two say goodnight to her, the younger Miller brother already prepared the arrangement for her to stay at his on the night of your wedding. You reassure her the promise to meet at Waffle House in the morning, which will likely be the afternoon with the state of the adults. Maria, the designated driver, and Tommy, much closer to sober than drunk than you were expecting, send another congratulations your way before they’re off to the car with Sarah.

After the necessary sweep of cleaning is done between you two and your immediate family, food, drink, and lanterns gathered, they part ways, taking everything back to theirs to deal with in the morning along with striking down the tables, chairs, and dancefloor. In the quiet of the early morning hours, you and Joel stand with your arms around each other, swaying gently. Cheek to chest, Joel’s voice rasps from overuse, vibrating your ear pressed against him, “Was it what you wanted, sweet girl?”

“Everything and more, J. I loved it,” you say as you pull your head away, tilting your chin to look into his eyes, “And I love you, m’husband.”

“I love you more, m’wife.” He shakes his head, biting a smile back, “Don’t think m’ever gonna get tired of callin’ you that, Mari.”

“Me neither. Gonna be callin’ you my husband instead of usin’ your name,” you flirt as your smirk grows and he wiggles his eyebrows, hand drifting down to the curve of your ass.

“Guess we better test that theory, baby.” He grins as he bends his knees, lifting you over his shoulder. His other hand rests on your ass to balance you, your hands pressing against his lower back as you shriek slightly from the initial shock. “Want the whole neighborhood to know m’your husband now. Even if they weren’t invited, so you better be loud, m’gorgeous wife.”

He walks you both up the stairs and through the backdoor, your snort echoing in the quiet of the night, pulling out the ol’ faithful from the early days with him, “Yes, sir.”

second nature

“What do you think about getting a dog?” you ask from your seat on the bed, propped up against the headboard with a book in your lap. Joel pops his head out from the en-suite, brow quirked as he continues to towel off his hair and laugh softly.

“Can’t say I’ve thought about it, darlin’.” He disappears again, hanging his towel on the back of the door before coming back out of the bathroom with a clean pair of boxers on, washed up from his long day on-site. “Have you been thinking about getting a dog?”

A sheepish grin stretches across your face, shrugging your shoulders as Joel gets into bed. He matches your position, leaning back against the headboard and turning his head toward you. He’s intrigued. If he wasn’t, he’d tell you that you could talk about it more in the morning, and then he would give you his honest opinion in the light of day. Never wanting to start a silly argument before bed, always attempting to keep the peace.

Which made him great at compromising. To what you wanted in the first place.

“I’ve been thinking it would be nice for Sarah. Like something to learn responsibility — teaching her to feed it on schedule and take it for walks and fill the water bowl.”

“Yeah, it’ll teach her that I’ll take on all those responsibilities when she gets bored of it,” your husband snorts at his own comment, making you roll your eyes playfully and scoot closer.

“Oh, c’mon, J. Don’t you think it would be fun to have a dog around? We wouldn’t even need to get a puppy if you think it’s too much. But I work at home nannying baby Amelia so I’d be around all day and then when Sarah gets home from school or camp, she can take him or her for a walk. And then feed it before you even get home. Oh! Or you could take the dog to work with you! How cute would that be, you could train him to grab your tools for you.” 

A contagious smile brightens your face in the low lamplight, one that Joel can’t help but mirror on his own face. The eagerness is evident in your expression and your voice, and the proposition doesn’t seem like it would be too difficult of an adjustment. Shaking his head at your suggestions, he laughs quietly while reaching a hair up to smooth your hair away from your face.

“Are you gonna be the one to teach it what all the different screwdrivers are?” 

An excited gasp exhales and you scramble to straddle Joel’s lap, “Wait, are you serious? You’re actually okay with getting a dog?”

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you lean back to look at his face. His hands find the curve where your thighs melt into your ass, squeezing gently. Always handsy.

“Yeah, baby, we can get a dog.” Joel groans dramatically when you pull yourself tight against him, hugging him while on hand rubs back and forth at the base of your spine. “I’ve got some conditions though.”

Unraveling from his neck, you stay perched in his lap, nodding fervently. “Anything. Whatever you want, if it means we get a dog.”

“Oh, anything?” he teases with another squeeze of your bum, laughing when you shoot him a look.

“Not what I meant, Miller. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Can’t help it with you, sweet girl. My mind’s always in the gutter around you.” The sentiment is punctuation with a tender kiss to your lips and one to your forehead. Calloused palms skate along your bare thighs, humming contently, “Conditions are: has to be a big dog. Don’t want one of those little white dogs or like something that’ll break if we have babies and they’re a little rough with it.”

The forethought he has for your future children warms your heart, and you agree immediately, “Deal. Didn’t want a little dog anyways. What else?”

“Gotta fence in the backyard. I don’t mind putting in a gate for us and your parents to easily go back and forth through, but I don’t want the chance of the dog gettin’ out when we’re all outside.”

“Totally understandable. I’ll even help you install the fence,” you offer proudly.

“That’s real sweet, Mari baby, thank you. You don’t gotta lift a finger though, I’ll bring some of the guys over and pay a little extra and we’ll get it done in a day, no problem.”

“Alright, so big dog, fence. Anything else you’d like to negotiate, Mr. Miller?” you mock a formal tone, turning your nose up. Joel laughs, tightening his arms around your waist and tugging you closer. Kisses press into your neck and along your jaw, pausing inches away from your lips as he makes his final request.

“Dog sleeps in Sarah’s room or downstairs. I like our privacy.” He smirks before kissing you deeply, easily flipping you onto your back and hovering above you. Your legs hook around his waist and he raises his eyebrows, “That all sound fair to you, Mariposa?”

“Absolutely it does. Guess we’re getting a dog, ri—” You’re cut off by his lips on yours again, pressing you further into the mattress with his body weight.

“Let’s save the rest of this for the morning,” Joel mumbles against your skin as he trails his mouth down your neck to your collarbone, “‘Cause right now, I think I’d rather get some pussy.”

He doubles over in laughter at his own joke, forehead pressing against your chest as his shoulders heave. Your fingers comb into his hair, unable to fight quiet chuckles of your own no matter how hard you try to not give him the satisfaction.

“God, you’re such a dork.”

The clock rolls to 3pm as you sit in your car, lined up along with parents of campers. Shrills of laughter and screams echo from the bright, primary-colored playground across the way, counselors attempting to corral the kids to lead them out for pick-up. Air conditioning blasts on you as you fan at the back of your neck, exhaling in the sweltering Texan heat. It’s only the beginning of summer, June barely having turned over, but the temperatures have reached record highs for the year already.

Your stepdaughter. The thought still makes you smile months on, the dynamic between the two of you falling naturally into a closer, more nurturing relationship. Little acknowledgments from Sarah have made your heart sing over the days; routinely saying goodnight to you along with Joel, asking you for permission to go play outside, seeking you out nearly as much as Joel when she has had a nightmare. The pair of you have built routines of your own before bed, you making a promise to Sarah to read with her and to show her your favorite books from when you were her age.

A few nights ago, Sarah had retreated with you to her room, at least thirty minutes before her bedtime to get in another chapter of Matilda by Roald Dahl. The main character reminded you of Sarah’s sweet and spunky personality, and you were so excited that she fell in love with the story and its characters as quickly as you did when you read it for the first time.

Sat up against her headboard, Sarah laid back in your arms and cracked open the novel where her bookmark stuck out, started to read aloud to you in the low lamplight. Mindlessly, you played with her hair as you listened to her confidently recite the words from the page. The day caught up to you, the peaceful moment pulled a yawn from your lungs. Sarah’s words slowed down, her eyes slowly blinking until they closed, which was your queue to slip the book from her hands and mark the spot, and laid it on her nightstand.

When you tried to slip out from behind her to leave her to sleep soundly, she stirred, mumbling the sweetest, “Will you stay for a little bit, Posey?”

And you had no choice but to oblige her request. After getting comfortable next to her, Sarah curled into your side and you pressed a kiss to her forehead, continued to play with her hair to soothe her back to sleep.

What you hadn’t realized was that you also drifted off in her twin bed with her, the lamp still on. Joel was watching TV downstairs, waiting for you to retreat down the steps as you do every night, but no sign of you after an hour had him standing up to go searching. It was quiet when he reached the top of the stairs, no telling giggles or loud whispers to give the two of you away. 

He pushed open the cracked door of Sarah’s bedroom, and was met with a sight that squeezed his heart tight, a sigh exhaled from his lungs. You tucked right next to his little one, and both slept deeply. Without disturbing your rest, he tiptoed over to the nightstand, tugged the blanket up over both of you before he hovered above the bed to press a gentle kiss to each of your foreheads. 

Lamp clicked off, he whispered to your unconscious ears, “G’night, girls. Love you two.”

It was a few hours before your usual alarm when you’d woken up, sore from the small space and glanced around the dark room to discover you had fallen asleep next to Sarah. Carefully slipped out from the covers, you tucked her back in and padded down the hall to your bedroom where Joel was sleeping, a soft snore came from him as he’d starfished out on the mattress. You gently shook him half awake to move him, and he groaned softly at the disruption before he tugged you into his chest and pressed a drowsy kiss to your shoulder.

“Was jus’ too cute to wake you up, Mari baby. My Mariposa and my lil’ Bug…” He hummed sleepily into your skin, hand gently rubbed circles in your lower belly while your eyes close, desperate for those last few hours of slumber. “Makes me so happy.”

“Me too, J. M’so, so happy she’s that comfortable with me. My baby best friend. And you’re my big baby best friend…” You breathed out an airy giggle and Joel protested weakly behind you, a gentle pinch to your side before you both exchanged a quick “love you” and drifted right back off.

The reminder of the sweet moment in the morning from Joel was the highlight of your week.

Climbing out of the car, the engine running and door open, you round the front bumper and stand on the curb to wait. You find her before she finds you, calling out to her to grab her attention, “Hey, sweet pea!”

Her familiar deep brown irises search for the source of your voice, landing on your face and waving excitedly. Sarah checks out with her counselor for the day, scurrying over to you with her backpack bouncing at her shoulders.

“Hi, Posey!”

She collides with your torso, her growth spurts finally starting over the last few months so the top of her head hits just at your chest, and nearly knocks the wind out of you. Patting her back, you laugh and pull her back to look her in the face, “Well, hello to you too, Sare Bear. How was camp today? You ready to go?”

After your greetings, she climbs into the backseat on the opposite side of Amelia’s car seat. You store her bag in the passenger seat with yours before retreating around to the driver’s side, heading off once both of you are secured in your seatbelts.

Flicking your eyes up in the rearview mirror, the two of you catch up, which mostly consists of her recapping the camp activities and excitedly talking about the pool day that’s planned for Friday. As you turn onto your street, Sarah’s brow furrows at the sight of Joel’s truck in the driveway.

“Dad’s home already? That’s weird.”

“Hm, I guess he is. Or maybe he’s just stopped by to grab something he forgot. You know how he is.”

Sarah laughs in agreement as you park your car next to his truck. Both of you get out and head in through the garage, straight into the kitchen where Joel’s standing at the counter eating a sandwich.

“Told you, Sare, stopped by ‘cause he forgot something. Lunch.” You send him a teasing grin as you deposit Sarah’s bag by the door and kick off your sandals. She does the same before wandering past her dad to the fridge in search of a snack. Apple doesn’t fall far.

“What? I can’t happen to drop in hoping to see my wife and my daughter in the middle of my work day? Do I have to have ulterior motives?” Joel speaks, words muffling around the bite in his mouth as you approach the island to stand opposite him.

“Dad, you literally always ask ‘What’s for dinner?’ or ‘What’s cookin’?’ after you say hi to us every day. Your motivation is always to get some food,” Sarah chimes in from in front of the fridge, laughing when Joel looks at her offended.

“See? Even a ten year old recognizes the pattern of behavior,” you confirm your findings, laughing as Joel grumbles to himself and pops the last bite of his sandwich in his mouth.

“Well, for your information, both of you, I am here for an entirely different reason than lunch and to see you two.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest, looking between the two of you with a mischievous smile on his face. “Why don’t y’all go look in the living room and then tell me if you wanna keep makin’ fun of Dad?”

Sarah excitedly starts off toward the living room, giddy about the surprise awaiting her. Your brow furrows and lips twist up in curiosity, eyes staying glued to Joel. He laughs and nods to the other room, a bright smile on his face.

“Better go see, mi amor. Think you’ll want to meet him.” Joel winks, your attention being pulled away when you both hear Sarah gasp from the living room.

“Oh my gosh! Posey, come here! Aw!”

That’s when it registers — the surprise, home in the middle of the day, the smirk, ‘you’ll want to meet him’.

“You didn’t,” you breathe out, head snapping back to Joel as he gives you a wide, genuine grin.

“Go! See for yourself.” He rounds the island and grabs your hips from behind, guiding your steps into the living room. Sarah’s giggles fill the room as the fluffy Bernese Mountain puppy stands in her lap and licks at her face. The small dog’s attention is pulled from her and over to you and Joel entering the room, a tiny bark sounding before he scampers over.

“Joel, oh my god, how did you—when—oh my god…” You kneel down to scoop up the little one into your arms and cuddle it gently, giving it pets before letting him run around again.

“Found someone who had a litter with their family dogs the day after we talked about it. And arranged to pick him up. They said he’s the energetic one, and that he’s gonna be a big boy. Like a hundred pounds.”

“Oh my god, he’s so sweet…thank you, J.” You beam up at him, waving him to bend down and steal a kiss, squeezing his shoulder.

Sarah’s playing with your new family dog, tugging with a rope toy as he fights back with his whole little body. “Thank you, Dad. He’s so cute!”

“What should we name him?” Joel asks as he lowers himself to the floor next to you, smiling as the puppy runs over. The two rough house, Joel easily flipping him over to scratch at his belly as the dog pants happily.

“Any ideas, Sare?” you ask, looking over at her.

She thinks for a moment before looking up between Joel and you, laughing at the tiny pup’s antics, “What about Goose? He just seems like one. Like a silly goose.”

“Goose? I like it, Bug,” Joel confirms, turning to you with a grin, “How about you, Mari?”

Nodding, you look at the new addition to the family, burning bright with happiness at your people’s excitement, “I think Goose is a perfect fit. And now you’re not outnumbered anymore, J. Two girls and two boys in the Miller household.”

Sarah laughs and lays down to cuddle with Goose while Joel moves closer to your side, wrapping an arm around you and kissing your head as he quietly whispers, “Hopefully won’t be too long before the boys are outnumbered again.”

“And what makes you say it won’t be us girls being outnumbered?”

“Call it father’s intuition. Wouldn’t know what to do with a little boy, bein’ a dad to another girl would just be second nature. Plus, I would want a mini Mari running around the world.” Joel presses a kiss to your temple before you turn your head, catching his pursed lips with yours sweetly.

“I’d take anything if it means havin’ a little piece of you forever, J.”

third time lucky

Negative.

A single line, bold and brash, stares back at you. Turning the plastic in your hands, you attempt to read it at different angles, the smallest bit of hope lingering for another line to appear — that it was a trick of the light that was causing your disappointment.

To no avail, the blue strip remains unaccompanied in the small window. A sinking feeling fills your body from your toes up. Everything feels heavier, except your lower stomach. That has never felt as empty as it is now.

Heavy footsteps thump a vibration in the floors, but your focus remains on a speck of dust floating in the light past your field of vision. His presence hangs in the bedroom, milling about, unknowing of what you were up to before he came in from mowing the lawn.

“Hey, baby, m’gonna take a shower and then we’ve got Sarah’s softball game at three. Probably half to leave here around two, her coach asked all the parents to be thirty minutes early for some reason…” Joel’s voice fades in your head as your thoughts start to yell, scream, fight, taunt inside of your mind.

A hard swallow pops your ears, the ringing in them growing louder as your mind begins to wander. The test is left discarded on the bathroom counter, with no heart yet to throw it in the garbage where the others have ended up. Your bare feet shuffle against the rug as you seek out solace under covers, even in the ninety-plus-degree heat. The springs of the mattress shift under your weight, lying on your side facing the opposite side of the bed that lays empty right now. The coverlet is pulled up over you, curling your fingers at the hem tightly, white knuckle grip to release some of the tension that has taken over your mind. You want to scream, cry, yell, question — but what you want most of all is to be able.

Why aren’t you able? Why can’t you do what your body is made to do, what it begs for, what it reminds you that you’ve failed at every month?

Joel stands in observation of you, careful distance, one hand lifting before he drops it. He can guess what this is about. What you’ve left behind in the en-suite. But to confirm his suspicions, he quietly walks into the tiled room, leaving his clean clothes on the counter while he picks up the test.

Negative.

His body sinks, toes up to his head, but with a gaping, empty feeling in his chest. There’s so much room left in his heart, room he is eager to fill with another part of you, another love, another soul to protect. Now, though, all of his emptiness is filled with an ache for you. You’ve been dreaming out loud for a year now, wonderings and visions shared with him late nights and early mornings — Will they have his eyes? You hope so, so that they look like their sister. Who’s ears would they have? What quirks will they pick up from both of you? Who will they grow up to be? How will we be able to contain our love for both of our kids?

Our kids. Joel remembers that night; after you said that, he couldn’t hold himself back, couldn’t contain his love for you. No hesitation that his own was yours now, too. All he wanted was to give you another, to see your belly grow and your smile brighten and your skin glow. He was begging for whatever power was in the universe for that time to take, for both of you to be gifted with what you wished for so often, so deeply.

Desperation. Wavering confidence. Sorrow, worry, dwindling hope. He saw it all over you, time after time when the single line appeared on the plastic sticks.

You and Joel had been trying for a year. A long year. Maybe your desire was too strong, too overpowering. But shouldn’t that be a sign of your love? For each other, for your family? All he wants to do is give you the life you’ve wished for. And yes, all you’ve said you want is a life with him, but anyone who meets you would be able to tell you are meant for a nurturing life. Meant for motherhood.

It was already natural for you, taking a ten-year-old in stride, making her into your best friend — making her a priority over Joel most of the time. He knew it didn’t matter to you that she wasn’t yours, biologically speaking, but he can’t help but want to give you a child that is part you. How badly he wants another piece of you in the world, all of your goodness packaged into the purest soul.

Resigning with a sigh, he sets the test down on the cool countertop and exits the bathroom, a slow stride over to your lying form. Crumpled under covers. With a soft groan, he lowers himself to his knees with cracks popping his joints. His age is starting to show the closer he gets to forty and the more hours he works in the summer weather, another looming factor for him — he’s only known being a young dad. If you two have to wait, what would it be like to be nearly sixty when your kid graduates high school?

Shaking the superficial concerns from his head, his wide palm glides along the quilted fabric draped over your side. He rests his chin on his opposite arm, laying against the mattress close to your pillow. At the coax of his touch, you turn over to face him. Lips pursed in a frown, dried watery streaks being washed anew with your fresh tears, fat and rolling down your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose. They drip off of your skin, dotting and darkening the fabric of the pillowcase underneath you.

Joel leans in, brushing your hair from your face and pressing his lips to your forehead for a lingering kiss. A deep breath draws the smell of your shampoo into his nose, down deep into his lungs where it soothes his aching chest.

“Mari, sweet girl, I know it’s hard. I know we want it so bad, but there’s always another option,” he speaks softly, kindly, delicately, “We can go to that fertility specialist your doctor recommended. I promise, mi amor, we’ll have a baby together.”

He means it, and you can tell he means it. Ever since you had been back together, ever since he confessed his feelings for you — years ago now — he hasn’t made an empty promise. From tiny little things like a pledge to stop on the way home for your favorite ice cream, going to three different stores and adding nearly an hour to his day simply to show up with it for you, to larger, grander oaths, his wedding vows, the promise of building a beautiful life with you.

Emotion is thick in your throat as you attempt to vocalize your concerns. They keep you up at night, with Joel’s warm and expansive hand resting on your stomach right above your womb as he sleeps soundly. He wants it clearly as much as you do; you can feel it each time you’ve tried. How badly he wants to provide this for you.

Is he having the same thoughts as you? Does he wonder if something’s ‘wrong’ with you?

“I wanna be able to do it. Why can’t I do it on my own?” The sound of your meek voice shatters his heart and he shakes his head back and forth, adamant in shutting down the thoughts.

Tugging the covers down, Joel’s hands find your exposed skin, sliding across with a clammy touch from his labor outside. And nerves, too, you’d guess. Moving from his knees on the floor next to the bed, he finds a spot sitting at your side and shifts you to lay on your back. Opening up to him. Warmth rests over your womb, blanket pulled down to the tops of your thighs while his thumb brushes at your stomach, catching on the fabric of your shirt.

“No—oh, mi Mariposa, you don’t even know if it would be you with an issue. Very well could be me. Maybe breathin’ all the paint fumes at work killed m’little swimmers.” He breathes a small laugh through his nose, attempting to lighten the mood.

Your hands fly up to your face, muffling your voice, “Oh, god, don’t say that. I wanna have your baby, not some sperm donors.”

His hand coasts up your torso, over to your side to wrap around your rib cage, feeling your breaths as his fingertips lightly tickle the spot, “That was supposed to make you laugh, sweet girl.” 

Hands falling away from your face, your brow pinches together and your frown deepens. About to make a retort, your mouth open, Joel skates the fingertips of both his hands up and down your sides, alternated on each side of you to make it harder to catch his wrists. Laughter bubbles up from your chest, your frown morphing into a flashing smile before you’re calling for a surrender in between gasping breaths.

Relenting, his hands stop, settling at the curve of your waist. He leans over you, nudging his nose against yours before pressing a ghosting kiss to your lips. A small grin, hopeful and reassuring, with a tinge of worry flickering in his irises, barely there before his smile reaches his eyes, “It’ll happen for us, Mari baby. Why don’t we say, one last go before lookin’ into the doctors? We’ll do all the things, track whatever we need to track. I’ll drop whatever I need to come home and put a baby in you.”

Joel wiggles his eyebrows, playful smirk crossing his expression. You roll your eyes under him, pushing an accusing finger into his chest, “Like you don’t already do that. I could call you in the middle of work and just go ‘Hey, J’ and you’re in the truck on your way home.”

“That’s right, Mari. As it should be. Y’know what they say — happy wife, happy life.” Another kiss to your lips, this one a bit more savoring. “What d’ya say, mi amor? One more go?”

“Okay, yeah. One more go.”

Butterflies kick up in your stomach when you hear the low rumble of Joel’s truck cut, heavy door swinging closed and quick strides following. The front door opens after a short jingle of keys, shutting behind him with the slide of the lock back into place. Distant grumbles of his make you laugh, his frustrations with his work boots floating upstairs to where you’re sitting on the edge of your bed, leaning back on your hands. Clad in only your bra and panties, you work your bottom lip between your teeth as anticipation builds with each of Joel’s footsteps up the carpeted stairs.

You both only have the afternoon — less than an hour of your afternoon, actually — to make your last attempt. Already having taken advantage of the window in your cycle twice, the peak day of your ovulation fell, of course, during the busiest time of year for Miller Construction. Summer has come to a close, and now people have picked up their home improvements to start nesting for the winter; a craving you’ve been having yourself, desperate to make your home larger and livelier by one more. Joel has snuck away for a moment that you two have alone, and you’ve told the couple you nanny for that you have an immovable appointment for today.

Pretty sure the only thing that will be immovable today will be you once Joel’s hour is up.

 “Mari? Mi amor?” he calls out and you chuckle softly at the boyish excitement in his voice.

“In the bedroom, J!”

Joel rounds the doorway into your shared room, stopping a handful of steps past the threshold when he registers the sight of you. He hums a low moan, licking his lips as his eyes devour your lacy undergarments, “Mierda, mi esposa, estás tratando de matarme? (Shit, my wife, are you trying to kill me?) You look so fucking beautiful, darlin’.”

A low whistle leaves his lips as he stalks closer, eyes rake over your form as you present your primped self for his taking.

“You get all pretty for me, sweet girl? I like this…” he rasps as he’s within arm’s reach now, stretching a hand out to toy with the strap of your bra and snapping it against your skin sharply.

“Wanted to look pretty when you fill me up, J.” One curl of his finger under your chin draws you to sit up straight, tilting your head back to look at Joel towering over you.

“Good girl,” he praises, a glint of excitement in his eyes, “You want me to fill up your sweet little cunt, Mariposa? Want me to give you a baby? Tell me.”

“Yes,” you breathe out shakily, eyelids fluttering closed as his hands trail lightly across your exposed skin, ghosting everywhere you need him most.

“More, sweetheart. Dime. Dime cuánto lo deseas. Suplicar por ello. (Tell me. Tell me how badly you want it. Beg for it.)” His instructions float through your head, only keywords translating in while Joel leaves over you, lips pressing feather-light kisses along your neck, across your chest.

“I need it, Joel. Need you so fucking bad, I wanna have your baby. Want you to make me a mom, fill me up as many times as it takes until we get our baby…please, J…” As if the taste of you wasn’t enough to do him in, the wild, fervent look in your eyes intrigues him beyond. Hearing the words from your lips, directed to him, he’s fucking aching. He was growing hard on his way over here, the thoughts swimming through his mind of you laid out and ready for him to take delegating his blood supply to rush down below his belt.

He needs you, but first, he needs to see you unraveling underneath him only from his fingers.

“Don’t worry your pretty little mind, Mari. M’gonna take care of you. I’ll make sure this one takes. Let’s call it third time lucky this summer.” 

He shoots you a wink, your mouth parting to respond. Before you can let any breath escape, his lips are crashing with yours. Heavy, heady, and so fucking hot it spirals your thoughts into nothing. His tongue melts with yours, the taste of his black coffee and the donut he must have eaten at work this morning tingling your taste buds. Sweat sticks to his skin when your hands rest at the sides of his neck, falling backwards as he climbs over you. He smells of wood shavings, freshly mowed grass, and hard work — calloused hands gliding along your body and feeling the softest of scratches of his blue collar hands.

“Joel, need you — please.” It’s more of a whine than a begging whimper, rising frustration levels from his lack of touch in the place you need and want him the most. 

Your cunt is desperate, dripping down your folds and surely soaking the sheets. A quick jerk of your hips attempts to brush against him, to catch any relief for the need building low in your stomach. A large palm presses your lower half back against the mattress, the other hand pushing your leg to the side to open you up further for him. A knuckle brushes your clit, grazing up and down your seam through your soaked panties. Your husband clicks his tongue as he shakes his head at you, patronizing tone slick in his voice.

“Darlin’, I wanna take every second of my time with you. Are you gonna let me? Gonna let me get your cunt squeezing my fingers? Gonna let me fill you up, mi amor?” he asks, as if you wouldn’t say yes to all of those requests and he knows it. Nodding, a desperate yes exhaled when he applies more pressure with his finger against your clit, rubbing slow circles. “Good girl. Siempre tan bueno para mí. (Always so good for me.)”

Joel folds over your, taking one of your perked nipples into his mouth through your bra and sucking. His tongue flattens against the cup before he’s pulling at the nub with his teeth. The material is darkened where his mouth was when he grows a bit more needy, grabbing at the straps and yanking the bra to rest at your midsection. You slip your arms out of the straps and he pushes you further onto the bed by the back of your thighs, stripping your panties off and settling on his knees.

Pressure forms against your clit from two of his fingers, slow circles dragging a moan from your throat. Joel smirks, satisfied with the way you squirm under him, trying and failing to get more from his hands. Before you can vocalize a whine, Joel is over you again, bringing his attention to your now bare breast while the circles continue. Hot, humid kisses are littered on the soft skin, happy hums rolling from Joel’s chest. He pulls his head up, looking down at your chest with a half grin and his dimple on display.

“You’re gonna get so soft and swollen everywhere, Mariposa. Round belly, huge tits—can’t wait to play with ‘em.” His grin widens, boyish and brazen with the glee that the fact fills him with. “You gonna let me, baby? Gonna let me make your sore tits feel better with my mouth?”

His question goes unanswered as his mouth attaches to one of your nipples, sucking and flattening his tongue as he nurses it. Pulling away with a pop, he mimics the same on the other side, the intensity of his suckling along with his fingers rubbing faster against your clit — even slipping down to tease at your entrance — has you wiggling under him, desperation notching up your spine.

“Joel, please,” you plead, choking on your breath when he pulls the bud of your breast between his teeth, a low growling sound rumbling from his throat. 

Two of his thick fingers push into your dripping cunt, a relieved moan echoing against the walls of the bedroom. Curling up into your spongy walls, they thrust quickly and pet at the certain spot inside of you. Joel’s mouth is still at your chest, his hunger feeding itself on the taste of your skin.

“Fuck, Mari, gonna break my fucking fingers off. So fucking tight.”

A distraught whimper crawls from your chest, breaths heaving as your walls clench around his quick-paced fingers. You gasp when he slips a third one in, hooking them up. Despite the stretch, you still feel an emptiness. All you want is his cock inside of you, spilling into you and leaving you to grow fuller with his baby. The thoughts of him above you, fucking it all deeper into you to reach your womb, drive you over the edge. The tips of his fingers press against that spot inside of you, his warm mouth hanging open at your tit while his eyes watch you come undone. Writhing and walls pulsing around his fingers, his name falls from your mouth as you choke out moans and your vision grows dark.

“That’s it, Mari baby, fuck,” Joel works you through the orgasm before his fingers leave you and he sits back on his haunches. Sucking his digits clean of your slick and come, the other hand rubs your thigh gently before he coos down at you, “That was a big one, wasn’t it? Feel good?”

Still coming down from it all, your body feels liquidity, taking whatever form Joel is molding you into right now after he’s stripped himself bare. One hand slips under you, unclasping your bra and tugging it away from your torso, leaving you as naked as him. His eyes drink in your body while his grip holds your calves, chuckling darkly when you finally breathe out a response, “I feel…like I need you to put a baby in me.”

“Cualquier cosa para usted, mi esposa. Vas a estar tan lleno de mí. Te encanta la sensación de mi mecos dentro de ti, ¿verdad? (Anything for you, my wife. You're going to be so full of me. You love the feeling of my cum inside of you, don't you?)” Your head rolls with a nod, agreeing to anything Joel says in the moment, still hazy from how hard he’d made you come moments ago. Half-lidded eyes watch as he licks his fingers, stroking his cock a few times with a quiet sigh. That’s something you could watch all day — Joel’s pleasure. And here underneath him, you have the perfect view, and the perfect position to be used for it.

Fully handing over control to him, his hands tug you up so your ass sits on his thighs while he’s on his knees. Fingertips skate along the distance of your legs, grabbing at your calves to rest them on his broad shoulders. Even the slightest shift forward from his hips stretches you wide, a delicious ache creating a craving for more.

“Tell me how bad you want it, Mari, tell me how much you wanna have my baby.”

Joel’s gripping his length, rubbing his tip through your wet folds. The notches against your clit quiver the already stretched muscles in your thighs, whines replacing words coming out of your mouth.

“Tell me, or I won’t give you what you want, mi amor.”

“I want it so bad, J. I wanna feel you fuck me so full of you, and I don’t want that feeling to leave. I feel like there’s an emptiness and only you can fill it, I want your baby. Wanna have everyone know how good I am for you, carrying your baby like you want me to. I wanna have a part of you forever,” you gasp out the last word, Joel’s cock inching into you. Muscle memory takes over, your whole body relaxing with the knowledge that he’ll take care of you — he’ll always take care of you.

Joel bottoms out easily, filling you to the hilt before he pauses to take a breath. His eyes meet yours and he smiles, sweet and sincere, while holding your shins, “I fucking love you, mi Mariposa. Wanna give you a baby…”

“Pleasepleaseplease—” You don’t know if you’re begging more for him to give you what you want or to move his hips, but in the end, you get both. 

Joel starts out slow, shallow thrusts keeping him inside of you. Grunts from the controlled movements fill the room, your small whimpers following each noise he makes. The sound of him fucking into your cunt captures his attention, gaze zeroed in on where you two meet. Watching the stretch of your tight pussy around his cock, he feels the burning desire for more. To watch you take it deeper, harder.

The next snap of his hips is just that - smacking his skin against your ass before he adjusts, laying you back completely on the mattress and leaning over you. Your legs are still hooked over his shoulders, the burning of your muscles now straining your hamstrings and glutes. His entire body folds you, his head hovering over yours as he fucks into you further. The tip of his cock kisses your womb, the force of his thrusts driving your hips open more for him.

“Gonna — fuck — gonna make you a momma, Mariposa. That what you want? Get fucked so well, be so full of me that we make a baby? Everybody’s gonna know I treat my wife right. With your round belly…swollen—ah—swollen tits. Gonna be so beautiful, and so fucking sensitive everywhere.”

His words only add onto the feeling of his thick cock filling you up, nearly verging on too far and too much. Moans exhale on your lips, his name repeated like a chant with each harsh snap of him into you. Your hands scramble for purchase as his sheer power drives you up the mattress, sheets scratching against your bare back. One set of fingers dig into the meaty flesh of his shoulder, nails pressing crescent shapes like an iron-hot branding.

Above you, Joel studies how your mouth has fallen open, thoughts completely left your mind with how cockdrunk you are. He gingerly grips your chin, holding it to face him and commanding your eyes to his as he pants heavily.

“What d’you wanna make me, baby?” It’s only met with the sounds of his cock dragging in and out of you, the slap of skin as you gasp under him. “C’mon, Mari baby, use your words.”

“A daddy,” you breathe out, your opposite hand combing into his messy curls and gripping tight.

“Say it again. Dime.” Not thinking it was possible, Joel pushes you further, hitting into you harder with each thrust nudging his tip toward your cervix. You might only leave this afternoon with soreness, but you continued to hold out hope for a baby to be the well-worth prize for how you’re going to feel tomorrow.

“A daddy!”

“Dime. Dime. Dime,” he commands and you listen, writhing under him as he hacks away at your shared resolve, throwing you closer and closer to the edge.

“Daddy — oh, fuck, a daddy. Wanna make you a daddy!” You’re yelling at this point, sobs of pleasure wracking your body and you thank god for a split second that the two of you are home alone in the middle of the work day. Surely the whole block might be hearing all of your wanton sounds.

“God, I could get used to you calling me that, Mari baby,” Joel groans and throws his head back, bearing his teeth as he punches his hips into your clenching pussy, the telltale sign that you’re close.

“C’mon, mi amor, give it to me. Come for me and I’ll let your fucking pussy milk me for every last drop. That’s what you want, right? Gotta fill you up and make a baby for my Mari baby.” He’s rambling as you reach your peak, toes curling and coming even harder than your first one this afternoon. 

A near scream pulls itself from as deep as your gut, the sound as if you were in more pain than the absolute pleasure you feel. Your grip on his hair tightens, drawing him down for a messy kiss as you mumble against his lips.

“Please gimme a baby, J. Need it all inside of me, please. Come for me, mi esposo.” 

The name sends goosebumps across his shoulders and trickles down his spine before he’s barking your name once and spilling into you, painting your walls with each rope. He takes a moment to breathe before he gently presses his hips in a few short thrusts, fucking his spend as far into you as possible.

Joel collapses against your torso, no other efforts exerted to move away. Delicate, nimble touches brush the hair from his sweaty forehead, rubbing his shoulders as he hums contently.

“Fuck, baby, might just have to stay inside. Keep you plugged up so I can stay here all day with you.” Quiet, breathless laughter leaves your lips as you shake your head, tracing along his jaw before he turns his head to press his lips into your tummy.

“Can’t wait for you to be a momma. Gonna be the best one ever, y’already are. Love you so much.”

The two of you lay like that for what feels like hours, only to be reminded of Joel’s limited schedule when his cell starts ringing from downstairs. Getting up with a groan, he slips out of you and lifts your hips, stuffing a pillow or two underneath them to keep your lower half elevated. You roll your eyes at the superstitious gesture, gasping when his fingers push into you once more to put his leaking come back into where it belongs.

“Gotta make sure it takes, pretty girl. Wanna see you get all round with my baby in you. Everybody’ll know how good I am to you, huh? Pumping you full of me so much we made a new fucking life…better stay like this until I get home again, Mari baby. Wanna make sure those lil swimmers get all the help they can get.”

“Mm…” you hum, hands grabbing for him to lean over you again. Sneaking a kiss, you pull away to whisper to him with a grin on your lips, “Better get back to work…daddy.”

He snorts out a laugh, beaming a bright smile as mischief glimmers in his eyes, “Mal. Mala chica. (Bad. Bad girl.)”

Three days late. You’ve been tracking your cycle like a mad woman, ticking off days in the notebook next to your bed, and now you’re officially three days late. Joel and you had agreed to wait a few days after you expected your period, hopeful that the extra time meant a more accurate, and desired, result.

The kitchen timer sitting on Joel’s side of the bed ticks away while you side on the edge of the bed. Tapping your fingers against your thighs, bare skin against your fingertips from the high hem of your denim shorts. Joel paces the room, eyes focused a thousand yards ahead. Anxiety and anticipation had been plaguing both of you all day, work slugging by minute by minute, second by second. Joel had left the jobsite as soon as was acceptable, leaving Tommy to wrap up, and swung by the pharmacy to pick up a new box of tests. Your task for the day was to chug water, or any liquid, all afternoon — by the time Joel was one foot through the door, you were ready to burst. Snatching the bag of tests out of his hand, you ran to the bathroom to pee in a plastic disposable cup and stick at least three tests in.

Now, you two are waiting for more seconds and minutes to tick by, added to the tally of the entire day. As you’re about to stand and stop Joel from burning treads in the area rug from walking his tight circles, a trill of a bell vibrating demands your attention. Turning off the noise in a flash, you stand and cross the room to where your husband is now frozen in place. A gentle touch to his cheek, his eyelids flutter close and he takes a long exhale before opening them again.

“Ready?” you ask, uncertainty pitching your voice up.

A minute nod, one shake of his chin, Joel’s hand finds the small of your back as he responds, “Ready, mi amor.”

His hand guides you into the bathroom, and a handful of steps from the three tests laid out on the counter, you turn around, panic twisting your expression. Joel stumbles to stop his collision with you, large palms grabbing onto your biceps to catch himself.

“M’scared, J…” Your voice is meek, cracking with emotion. This is the last shot you gave yourselves, whatever is laid on the counter either means unbridled joy or a long road of poking and prodding in countless doctors’ offices.

The warmth of his hands rubbing your arms and the press of his lips to your forehead coax you to relax, to take deep breaths, “I know, Mari baby, I would be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t scared too. But no matter what is on those tests, we’re in it together, right sweet girl?”

His index finger hooks under your chin to draw your attention up to his face, a small smile filled with love and reassurance stretching his lips.

“Always in it together, J.” You take another deep breath, turning around and nodding shortly, “Okay, now m’ready.”

“That’s my girl,” he mumbles before he’s following right behind you again, the two of you pressing yourselves to each other against the counter. Joel has an iron grip on your hips, nerves manifesting in the squeezes of his hands. Shaking fingers turn over each test before picking them all up to your lines of vision.

Two lines. Two bold lines screaming at both of you, across all three tests.

Positive.

Positive. You’re pregnant. You and Joel are having a baby.

“Holy shit…” Joel exhales behind you, smile creeping into his voice. Somehow, his grip gets even tighter as he turns you around, “Holy shit! You’re pregnant, Mari. We’re havin’ a baby! You’re gonna be a momma!”

Giddiness overcomes both of you, happy and disbelieving laughter while you hold each other in a tight embrace. Joel litters kisses around your face, catching your lips last — all teeth and tight lipped from your matching grins.

“You’re gonna be a dad again, how’s that feel?”

“Like I won the damn lottery, mi amor.”

Another kiss, supple and heavy. Joel pulls away first and shakes his head, pressing his forehead to yours, “I love you so fucking much, Mari.”

“I love you too, J.”

“You ready to go, Sare?” you ask, standing next to her seat at the kitchen table where she’s working away at her homework, reaching a hand out to play with her curls. She smiles and nods, writing down one last answer to a question on her worksheet before she lays her pencil down and stands up, rushing over toward the door.

“Just gotta get my shoes on!” she calls out, and you smile, shaking your head.

“Take your time, sweet pea! God knows it’s gonna take me longer to walk over to the door.” Your joke falls on deaf ears of your husband, who stands at the kitchen island and rolls his eyes before he’s crossing the room over to you. Within arm’s length, his hands cup the bottom of your large belly, leaning in for a sweet peck.

“Nobody cares if you move slow. Better to be careful than—”

“Careless, yes, I know. I think those might be our baby’s first words since they hear them so much from their dad,” you tease and he shrugs, kissing you again while his touch wanders across the flannel of his that you’re sporting, too tired to buy more maternity clothes that you’ll grow out of and opting for his closet every morning.

“Jus’ looking out for my girls. All three of ‘em.” He beams proudly, brown eyes shining brightly before he turns you in his arms, accompanying you to the front door where your near-teenager is waiting. Ever the sweetheart she is, she’s got your purse slung on her shoulder, car keys in hand to pass off to you. You thank her quietly, turning back to Joel as he looks between the two of you.

“Alright, have fun with your girls’ day. And call if you need anything — either of you. I’ll be waitin’ here for ya.” Joel smooths down Sarah’s hair before kissing the crown of her head; she squirms away, the teenage attitude rearing its head in some early moments, especially with her dad. There’s less patience for him, which you completely understand as a teenage girl once yourself. He huffs out a sigh as she slips out the door, heading down the front path toward your car.

“Hey, s’nothing. Teenage girl things. She loves you, and you’re the best dad.” A hand on his cheek coaxes him down to your lips, a supple kiss exchanged before he pulls away and bends to kiss the top of your belly.

“Bye, my little June Bug.” He stands upright again and steals another kiss, mumbling, “And bye, mi Mariposa. Drive safe, let me know if you need anything while you’re out. I love you.”

“We love you too. And m’speaking for the moody one, too.” Joel chuckles and rubs your bump once more before sending you on your way, watching and waving from the door as y’all drive away.

The plan for today had come about when you started to notice Sarah growing quieter, retreating to her room more often after family dinners and denying the chance at movie night some days. Joel had noticed too, but was a bit nervous to broach it with her, not wanting to make her feel bad about being more independent.

Your relationship with her though was much different to Joel’s. There was the foundation of your caretaking role with her, much more of a friend with authority when it was only you two before you were anything close to a parental figure. More open and, well, you could relate more to what she was going through. She confided in you first about girls at school being catty, about her growing crushes on boys in her grade. And this year, only a month after your due date, she will officially become a teenager. It was a strange time in any girl’s life, full of growing pains.

And on top of all of that, add on a new baby arriving. Attentions drawn elsewhere, priorities shifted to preparing for the baby. Sarah never fell to the backburner in your minds, but you didn’t know how she was feeling. Guessing by her quiet actions, you could tell she was feeling left out but didn’t want to stir up trouble.

Always the sweet girl. And you knew how that was.

So, you’d asked her for a girls’ day, excluding her dad from the fun and giving both of you some time with each other to feel like it was years before. It was all about Sarah today, no mentions of baby — no buying diapers or supplies or clothes. A promise made to yourself to make Sarah feel special, because that is exactly what she was. The baby on the way may be your first biological child, but nothing can compare to the unique bond that you have with your Sare Bear.

The day was spent waddling throughout the mall, helping her pick out new outfits and shoes for the end of the school year. Collecting a haul, you two stopped off for lunch and a trip to the nail salon before you finally made your way back home in the evening. Sarah was smiling brightly in the passenger seat, joking around with you and eagerly telling you all about the latest school drama. Your heart was about to burst with how much she’d come out of her shell again all day, even wanting to show off her new things to her dad when you both got back.

In the living room, Joel greets you two from the couch, eyes widening and a low whistle leaving his lips when he sees the damage done, “Quite some shoppin’ there, Bug. Y’all buy out the whole store?”

You wave him off and encourage Sarah to show off her haul, walking over to settle onto the sofa next to Joel. The younger Miller excitedly starts pulling out pieces and showcasing them, excitedly telling her dad exactly where she plans to wear them. His hand rests on your leg, attention completely focused on his daughter in front of him, squeezing you gently when she gets particularly worked up over something. You can tell he feels what you were in the car, heart bursting that she seems like herself again after a day spent with you.

“That’s nice, Sare Bear. I like the color,” Joel comments on the last shirt Sarah holds up, her smile still beaming as she tosses it back into the bag.

“Thanks, Mom actually picked it out! I thought it would be fun to have for camp this year, since I’m gonna start the counselor training program…” Her voice trails off as Joel listens intently. You, on the other hand, take deep breaths to hold it together, the simple moniker rolling off of Sarah’s tongue so naturally. Your heartbeat thumps in your chest, and baby Miller kicks her feet against your tummy — equally as excited.

You manage to keep it calm while Sarah recaps the rest of the day before she gathers up her shopping bags to take to her room. As she’s leaving the room, she’s quick to run over and give you a hug, leaning down to meet you where you sit on the couch. Your belly sticks out between the two of you, but regardless you pull her into a tight squeeze as she says thank you. Her curls bounce as she scampers off upstairs, the quiet sounds of her feet in the hallway queuing your watery eyes to overflow and for your nose to sniffle. Joel is grinning brightly next to you, pulling you into his lap and holding you against him as he wipes the few happy tears away.

“She called me Mom…” you whisper to your husband, afraid to admit it any louder as if it would disappear.

Joel presses his forehead against yours, a sweet kiss against your lips before he whispers back, “You have no idea how happy it makes me to know she feels that way about you.”

“I just…I feel so lucky. And maybe it’s hormones, but oh my god, I can’t stop blubbering. I’m a mom.”

“You’re the best mom. Have been to Sarah since she met you, and you’re going to be the best mom to our little one on the way.”

June 21st, 2009.

The first day of summer.

It’s the first day of summer and you’re stuck inside. Not at home, no, you’re currently propped up in a hospital bed with your legs in stir-ups, breathing in between contractions. Exhaustion weighs on your body, a full hour passing of you pushing in time with the pain in your abdomen that radiates all over. Sweat sticks your hair to your forehead and Joel sitting next to you brushes it out of the way. His other hand is limp in yours, ready to be squeezed with a vice grip whenever you need to push. Joel leans over you in level with your head, lathering on encouragements.

“You got this, Mari.”

“So strong, baby. You can do it.”

“Thank you, mi amor, thank you thank you thank you.”

The last one comes after a string of complaints against him doing this to you — despite you both knowing you begged for it nine months prior — and for having such a big head in his own baby photos that he had to have passed down to the baby.

Another wave kicks in, your doctor and nurses coaching you to give another final push. Putting every last bit of your energy behind the flex of your muscles, groaning out with pain and frustration before a piercing cry fills the room. Heavy, tiny sobs ring in your ears.

“You did it, baby, m’so proud of you. Our little girl,” Joel says in awe, glancing between you and where the doctor holds your little baby girl, summoning Dad over to cut the cord. 

She’s taken away to be cleaned up and Joel returns to your side, ready to help you attentively through the afterbirth. You wave him off, begging him to go keep an eye on your little girl. Once she’s clean enough, the nurses lay her on your bare chest, the sight of her tiny fingers and toes bringing about your own cries. Your hands hold her there, delicate touches brushing against her soft skin and her damp but full head of dark brown hair.

The rest of the process is painful but smoother, shorter. Before you know it, all tests are done and Joel is next to the bed again, wiping a damp cloth across your forehead.

A rush of adrenaline, pure unfiltered need and excitement to meet your daughter keeps you awake, sitting up carefully as you accept her into your arms from your husband who’s wearing the biggest smile. He sits on the edge of the bed, hand on your leg as you study the features on her small face.

“She’s perfect, isn’t she, Mari? Looks like her momma.”

You beam, shaking your head as you place a fingertip against her nose, “See, I think she looks like her daddy. Already got the grumpy brow.”

Both of you laugh, your unbridled attention on the tiny bundle in your arms as you gush over her for minutes longer. Joel rubs your leg, drawing your eyes up to him as he asks, “So you think we picked a good name?”

“I think we picked a perfect name. Our ‘S’ girls,” you grin at him before looking down at your little girl, “Skye Isla Miller. I think it suits her perfectly.”

A bit more time is spent between only the two of you and Skye before you’re itching to see your eldest, and for her to meet her little sister. Joel retreats to where Sarah’s in the waiting area with Tommy and Maria, who’s now three months pregnant herself, waving her to come back with him. She nervously enters the room, quiet as a mouse until you reassure her with a smile and welcome her to sit in the bed next to you.

Joel makes the introductions, voice thick with emotion as he stands over his three girls, watching as his first little one meets his second, “Sarah Elena, this is your baby sister, Skye Isla.”

Sarah quietly asks permission to hold her; you lay Skye in her arms carefully, teaching her how to support her head and where to avoid her soft spot. Sarah picks up on it like a natural, adjusting her little sister when she fusses a bit, finally settling into a new set of familiar hands.

“Dad said you did a really good job, Mom. With everything today. S’pretty cool that you brought a whole person into the world…” Sarah glances over at you with a shy smile before addressing both you and Joel, “M’really happy she’s here.”

“You’re gonna be a great big sister, Bug,” Joel beams with pride as he squeezes her shoulder, leaning over to press a kiss to the crown of your head. He hums as he looks over you three, “Got my Mariposa, my Bug, and my little June Bug. Mi maripositas. Don’t think anything could beat seeing my three girls altogether finally.”

You find yourself observing your family from afar, listening with muffled ears as Joel and Sarah chat about who Skye got what features from. Cheeks aching from smiling, you can’t help but think that this summer was off to the most wonderful start, and that every summer after was only going to get better. 

taglist: @beskarandblasters @undrthelights @swiftispunk @joelsversion @asirenbyanyothername @ellenmunn @ja-ehyun @sw33tp1xie @marisemonteiroo @brunetteeras @bongsrconfusing @addictedtotlou @angie2274 @pedrostories @pedroholic @theelishad @johnwatsn @elissa @felicityofbakerstreet @atinylittlepain @northernbluess @cannolighost @casa-boiardi @wannab-urs @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @fishingforpike @msjarvis @walkintotheriveranddisappear @sugadolly @yazsos @peppesgirl @pastawench @anoverwhelmingdin @wolfbook87 @mswarriorbabe80 @planet-marz1 @kiwisbell @lizzie-cakes

[raeedioheadd]

IN RAINBOWS - CHAPTER ONE

summary: mostly filler, introduction chapter to the reader and our beloved boys!

warnings: mentions of drugs earlier on, murder + death at the end

word count: 2.5k

a/n: the school system is based off my own so sorry if its a little confusing !! either way i hope u enjoy reading 🙂‍↕️ lowercase is also intended.

metropolis was horrible in the hotter months. it was only spring, so it wasn't at it worst, but once summer comes around i may have to consider an extended leave to gotham. peeling my eyes open, i ran a hand down my face as i felt around my bed for my phone. my fingers touched the cool screen of the device– at least something was somewhat cold. the screen lit up, the time reading 5:30. i sighed, looking towards my fan and wondering why i wasn't getting any air from it only to see my cat, kiwi, blocking the whole thing. not only was she blocking the fan, but she was picking at the laces of my shoes as well. i stood up and walked towards her, running my fingers through her fur and picking her up. "i need some air too, kitty." i murmured, feeling the rumbles of her purring.

i eventually put her down and went downstairs since i had to feed my dad's dog, buddy. technically i was living alone for the moment. dad was always on a business trip for something somewhere, but it's not like he was distant or anything. he was everything but distant. when he was home, he tried to hover, but he always gave up because i never did anything interesting or tried to hide anything from him. we were close, and that bond strengthened after my mother died. leading up to her death, they argued a lot. he was a person of interest for a bit, but the case was eventually closed since there were no leads. it was frustrating, but i didn't want to try to play hero. we have enough of those already.

buddy was still sleeping by the time i made my way downstairs to feed him. he was a doberman; usually my dad took him on his little business trips, but this time around he kept him home. setting his bowl down, i gently scratched behind his ears before going back upstairs to shower.

i usually took cold showers in the morning to combat the metropolis heat. they worked most of the time, but they got worse around the middle of the day. thank god it was friday. after about an hour in the shower i finally got out before quickly changing and starting my walk to school. since it was my senior year and i had already completed most of my core classes, i decided to take on an early class for the second year in a row and get out much earlier than everyone else. i start school at 7:00 while everyone else starts at 8 in exchange for only taking 4 classes and getting out at 11. since i only have four classes, i was finishing up my third year of science, doubling up on math and getting to eat lunch before leaving. i could just skip lunch if i really wanted to, but it's free food!

i wasn't necessarily the most sociable person unless someone talked to me or approached me first. that being said, i'm not a social recluse either. i have my good chunk of friends- one being closer than most, and that's laila; but that's because she's just stuck around longer. that, and she doesn't know how to do her homework on time. the second i stepped into the school, laila was next to me and matching my pace. sometimes i wondered if she could read minds, but that would mean she'd be a meta. and she was, as rude as it sounds, too gullible to be one. "hey! hey!!" she huffed, waving her hand infront of my face. she called out my name and i finally decided to look over at her, bumping my shoulder against hers. "what? if you ask me for homework help again i'm gonna have to say no. my afternoon is filled with watching twilight and sleeping." i said, giving her a cheeky smile. she grumbled to herself for a moment before letting out a guttural groan. "can't you just stick around for lunch or something and help me? you're smart! that's why you finished your classes earlier than everyone else!" and the exact reason i'm not taking electives. i sighed and shook my head, walking to my class with her.

"that's not how it works," i started, glancing at her for a mere moment, "i finished my classes earlier because i took all of my harder and more important classes freshman year. and if i remember correctly," i paused, giving her a knowing look, "somebody was too high half of the time to remember to actually come to school." i shrugged, causing her to kick me with a surprising amount of force. "shut up! can you just tutor me or not?" she begs, clasping her hands together and turning to face me as we reached my class. letting out my third sigh in the past hour, i caved and said yes. she thanked me at least fifty times before scurrying off to her class before the late bell rang.

my first class was astronomy, which wasn't as interesting as it sounded. if you didn't get it confused with astrology, you knew what you were expecting. i was expecting math, but not this much math. it was tedious, but i had to deal with it. it wasn't terrible, but i didn't necessarily like it either.

the teacher droned on for most of the class period, pacing around the classroom to make sure that nobody was on their phone or sleeping. he called on me a few times, unfortunately. the old geezer managed to catch me off guard a few times with some of the questions, but it was whatever. class had ended before i knew it.

my next two classes were both math classes, sadly. my whole school day seemed to be filled with math other than the singular english class i was taking right before lunch. it was a writing class, so it was bearable enough. i enjoyed writing, actually. though, that was only when i didn't have writers block. that, and the teacher was one of the few teachers who wasn't grumpy and mad at the students because his life was going horribly. he cared for each and every one of his students, though not overbearingly.

my astronomy teacher had a stick up his ass every other day for no reason at all– he cheated on his dying wife and often liked to make fun of her infront of the class. no one laughed. my math teachers, both female (and related) were lighthearted and funny. they made the classroom atmosphere calm and you wouldn't feel embarrassed to get an answer wrong. my english teacher, like i said before, was my favorite. maybe it was because i've had him all four years of highschool, but it seemed i was a mirror of himself when i was his age.

upon walking into the classroom, he greeted me with my name and a smile. "it's nice to see you've finally caught up on sleep. you finish supernatural yet?" he asks, taking a jab at my poor sleep schedule. "no, not yet. and hey, i get more than enough sleep." i huff, setting my bag down and sitting in the second chair by his desk. he'd never admit it, but he put the second chair here for me. he said it was for the students he'd have help grade papers. (aka me.)

"what are we doing today? another essay?" i ask, spinning around slowly. "no, actually," he says, stopping my spinning so he could sit in his own chair, "i've decided to be nice teacher for a bit and let you guys watch a movie. nothing special, just make sure to pay enough attention to write a theme analysis once it's over. it should take up the whole week." he explained, causing me to sigh. "okay, whatever man." i shrug, standing up and moving the chair out of the way. i go to sit in my own seat and play on my phone for the remainder of the class, having already seen the movie.

the bell finally rang, and i watched as the students in my class ran through the door to get to their next destination. some were going to lunch while some were going their next class. i waved goodbye to my teacher and made my way to the library where i saw laila waiting for me. she beamed at me and was quick to wave me over– a bit too happy. sitting down, i gave her a once over before looking around to make sure no one was in earshot. "are you fucking high dude?" i whisper, furrowing my brows at her. she fell into a fit of giggles, leaning her body into my own. her eyes were the slightest shade of red, but it was nothing too noticable.

"i'm not..maybe." she whispered as i pushed her off of me. "drink some water. you still have three more classes after this." i said, grabbing her waterbottle from her bag. she murmured something along the lines of 'okay, mom.' under her breath before begrudgingly downing her whole water. i spent the entirety of lunch babysitting my friend.

the moment the bell rang, i abandoned laila with her boyfriend and was off to my humble abode. since it was only about 11:15, i decided to get my homework out of the way before lounging around with kiwi and buddy. maybe i'd take him on a walk tomorrow, i don't know yet.

------

walking in the door, i was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by kiwi and buddy. kiwi purred as she rubbed herself against my legs, presumably waiting for me to take off my shoes so she could ruin them once more. buddy on the other hand sat patiently as he waited for me to come pet him and tell him he could act like an normal dog. "jeez, buddy. what does dad do to you?" i asked, petting his head gently as kiwi snuck off with one of my shoes. i set my bag down and went to go change before returning to the kitchen and doing my homework. it was only around noon, so i had some time to kill before school got out. i let out a short whistle as i sat on the couch and watched as buddy raced over to me with enough speed to make my school's track team jealous. he was more than happy to sit next to me while i watched whatever piqued my interest at the moment. i ended up finding a movie to watch; it was an older movie, but i didn't mind. it was worth watching.

by the time the movie ended, buddy was restless and ready to take a walk. he let out a mixture between a bark and a whimper, ushering me to get up. "okay, okay," i chuckled, standing up and grabbing his leash and hooking it onto his collar. i slipped on a pair of slides before letting him out and locking the door behind me. i usually wasn't the one to take buddy on walks– that was my dad's job, and i know the dog got plenty when he went on business trips. speaking of my dad, i decided to call him and see what he was doing.

he finally picked up after a few rings, and i could hear his voice call out my name. "what's up, sweetheart?" he asks, messing around with something in the background. "nothing, just wanted to call and see what you were up to." i said, stopping so buddy could use the bathroom. "oh, you know," he paused, grunting as he lifted something, "just work stuff. what'cha doin? i hear birds; you outside?" he questions. "walking buddy. he misses you." i say, nearing the park. "oh, good. well, i've gotta go. i'll be home soon sweetheart, i promise." he promises, bidding me goodbye. i sigh and tuck my phone in my pocket, going into the dog park portion of the, well, human park? unhooking buddy's collar, i watch as the black dog runs off to go roll around in the grass and use up all of his energy. after a bit of me sitting on a bench and scrolling on my phone, a black great dane sauntered in and immediately ran over to me. he began to sniff at me, giving me pleading eyes as if asking me to pet him.

"hey, bud.." i smiled, scratching behind his ears. someone walked up to me and cleared their throat, causing me to look up. it was a boy with olive skin and black hair, with green eyes that tied everything together. "is this your dog?" i ask, offering him a small smile. why does he look so familiar?

"yes." he says, keeping it short. okay, wow? "uh..well, what's his name?" i ask, feeling the dog rest his head on my lap. seemingly begrudgingly, he gives me his name. "titus." he grumbles, his gaze falling on the dogs head in my lap. "it fits." i say, continuing to smile at him. before the conversation can get any more awkward, yet another boy walks over. "hi! sorry about him." he says, shoving the first boy to the side a bit so he could stand infront of me instead. jesus, they were tall.

"i'm sorry about titus, too. he likes to meet new people." the boy says, adjusting his glasses. behind those glasses are vibrant blue eyes that sit against beige skin with a head of fluffy black hair. "oh, it's okay," i say, lifting titus' head as buddy trots over to me so i can stand up, "what's your name?" i ask, wishing to know the name of my savior. "my name is jon! and this," he pauses, pointing a thumb back at his friend. "is damian." he finishes with a smile. "very fitting names." i say, stealing a glance at the raven haired boy behind him. i gave jon my name before putting buddy's leash back on. "it was nice meeting you, but i have to go. he'll fall asleep on the sidewalk if i don't get him home soon." i laugh, rubbing buddy's side as i waved at them. "i hope to see you around! byee!" jon called after me, turning and saying something to damian after i was put of earshot.

as i walked home, i still couldnt help but feel like damian looked and sounded familiar. i brushed it off and let buddy inside first after unlocking the door and went upstairs to change into my pajamas. turning on the tv, i held kiwi in my lap as i brushed her while the news anchor went on and on about a kitchen fire when the breaking news came on. i looked up, feeling kiwi nibble at my hand as i listened to the woman speak.

"it seems after six grueling years, the serial killer  known as the sundown slasher has struck again. known for skinning the faces of their victims, after sundown and earning their namesake, another body has popped up once again.."

i sighed and muted the TV, looking down at kiwi. i hated this. he was part of the reason my dad had cameras in and outside of the house. for a little bit  of my childhood i was sure the sundown slasher had killed my mom. but once the case went cold, i pushed the thought to the back of my head. shutting off my lamp, the TV was the only thing illuminating my room as kiwi and i laid down. i quickly sent a text to my dad before turning on some random cartoon and slowly dozing off.

[carlos-in-glasses]

Snap @paperstorm - my snippet also has Carlos rushing off to pee! Needs must. Thank you also for the tag @honeybee-taskforce @whatsintheboxmh @heartstringsduet @lemonlyman-dotcom

@bonheur-cafe @orchidscript and @reyesstrand 🩷🧡💛

This is from my 1x05 coda:

He loves to see it again – TK’s swagger overcoming his lack of skill on the dancefloor. In other contexts, swagger in lieu of competency is annoying, but here and now it's genius, and it's inspiring. Carlos loves to dance in theory, but he usually needs a couple of drinks in him to really let loose. Tonight he’s sober, yet it's like he isn’t. He just feels phenomenal. Can’t explain it. Doesn’t want to. There he goes, shoving his hand into TK's and jumping up and down with him while Paul finds himself in the center of a group of beautiful women. Two of the women dance sexily, the other two are just goofing around like them. Carlos watches with an emotional smile as Paul gets drawn farther and farther away from him and TK.

"How about that?" Carlos shouts over the music.

"Right?" TK yells back with delight as he descends into some sort of disco finger move. "Look at him go!"

The DJ ends Rhythm of the Night with a scratchy spinback and the opening synths of Insomnia pour into the air. Everybody cheers. Carlos feels like he's not touching the floor anymore. He loses TK for a second – but it's TK who finds him, snaking his arms around his waist from behind and swaying him as if to a slow ballad. Carlos twists to face TK, puts his hands on his shoulders. There's something chaste and junior-prom about it. He wants to kiss TK but he feels strangely shy out of nowhere, as if he's never kissed him before, and he's not sure if he's reading TK's face right. They'd neglected to establish any rules of engagement around P.D.A. for this evening, as though nothing needed saying. There’s a part of Carlos that realizes it's not too late. He has an opportunity to simply ask TK right now, "Can I kiss you?" or even just lean in and see how TK responds. But he swallows the question like a large pill without water, chokes a little, feels overwhelmed. “Ah, I really have to pee,” he says instead. Sexy.

"Okay!" TK replies happily, bouncing away as the beat drops. Carlos smiles and nods to hide a shimmer of hurt he's sure would cross his face otherwise. TK could have been disappointed to lose his dance partner, or could have eagerly joined him in a stall, but it seems like he doesn't much care. TK is only here to throw himself around the dancefloor. It’s fine. It’s fair enough. This night is about Paul, anyway. And he actually does have to pee, so.

Open tag and tags below

@thisbuildinghasfeelings @strandnreyes @lightningboltreader

@goodways @rmd-writes @welcometololaland

@never-blooms @ladytessa74 @liminalmemories21

@alrightbuckaroo @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @sanjuwrites

@chicgeekgirl89 @freneticfloetry @theghostofashton

@sugdenlovesdingle @herefortarlos

@tellmegoodbye @carlos-tk @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad

@eclectic-sassycoweyes @actual-sleeping-beauty @kiwichaeng

@literateowl @safeaswrites @captain-gillian

@nancys-braids @fifthrideroftheapocalypse

@ironheartwriter @emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi

If you want to share/haven't already! No pressure ever! ❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜

[heartstringsduet]

Happy Work is Posted Wednesday <3 Last Wednesday before season 5 WHAT? I could have taken a tamer snippet for the new Let Me but also could have chosen a spicier one. Here is something in between. Thanks for tagging me @paperstorm @lemonlyman-dotcom @strandnreyes @corsage @alrightbuckaroo @carlos-in-glasses @orchidscript

In another life, maybe Carlos would have made a name of himself as a porn star. Very unlikely given his family, his religion and the view he had regarding sex work and body autonomy before TK educated him, but everything from Carlos’ sharp jaw, his expressions, to his body and the way he uses it, would have made him the wet dream of R-rated websites.

In this universe, Carlos is pliant, a little shy as he nods and TK presses a dry finger against his hole. The real Carlos can go from the confident hard-liner to a plush teddy bear in a second. He smells like lake water and sunscreen, his blood runs hot and his cheeks flush and he will make an adorable face when he comes that knocks against TK’s heart with force. His curls are undone and he squints sometimes when his eyes get tired without his contacts in and his pinkie toe is wonky and he is more self-conscious about that than anyone else would be.

In this universe, TK has long learned that it isn’t necessarily buff men that he’s attracted to. What he wants is their soft hearts. And Carlos’ cock is a bonus and one he thanks for existing by pressing his tongue right to it.

“Fuck,” Carlos hisses.

TK releases him with a popping sound. “Do you want me to take care of you tonight?”

It’s not something they do often. TK really enjoys being split into ecstasy, and Carlos likes to be the cause. And he knows it means a lot more vulnerability for Carlos than it does for him, but when they switch, TK feels like he’s unwrapping a birthday present every time.

OPEN TAG &

@tellmegoodbye @birdclowns @lightningboltreader

@ironheartwriter @reyesstrand @freneticfloetry

@never-blooms @chicgeekgirl89 @bonheur-cafe @literateowl

@pimento-playing-hopscotch @nancys-braids @butchreyes

@liminalmemories21 @welcometololaland @rmd-writes

@thisbuildinghasfeelings @ladytessa74 @theghostofashton

@goodways @emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi

@didionisms @eclectic-sassycoweyes @whatsintheboxmh

[koji-haru]

Time Travel AU Part: 20

Adam eyed the angel beside him, the early rays bouncing off his porcelain skin made him appear as if he were glowing, his deep blue eyes looking so soft under the gentle light. Though his mess of a hair, strands sticking out everywhere and slightly wet with saliva, by virtue of Amora’s playfulness, kind of ruined the image of a pristine angel. But Adam felt like his eyes were either broken or he must be wearing rose coloured glasses as he could only see sublimity in front of him no matter how many times he blinked to clear his vision. 

The two were eating a bowl of mixed fruits, made from a variety of berries, bananas and kiwis, chopped and sliced a little too evenly and perfectly by a certain someone. Michael was going to do some ‘cooking’ for Adam, as the human seemed to really enjoy the resulting product, but he remembered the last time he tried, Adam ended up doing most of the work, and that didn’t seem like a good way to start…this – the chance that Adam had finally given him. At least the first man seemed to like the quick breakfast he prepared; he had read somewhere from one of Uriel’s many scrolls that these fruits were good for the human body. Michael took a spoonful of the fruit mix into his mouth, its juices a sweet harmony that coated his tongue, leaving a satisfying feeling as he swallowed it down. He couldn’t believe he actually made something that tasted good on his own, well, he didn’t make it just simply prepared it, but still! He was quite proud of himself, especially when he noticed that the object of his affections seemed to enjoy the breakfast he made as well. 

“Wouldn’t Heaven be looking for you by now?,” Adam asked suddenly, while an odd kind of warmth did bloom in his chest to have literally woken up in front of an angel and having said angel stay with him throughout the morning, he was also curious as to how the ever so busy Michael found time to spend the entire evening and morning in Eden. Did they even know where he was?

“Hmm?” Michael turned to Adam, mouth busy chewing.

“I mean, this is the longest you’ve stayed in the garden,” Adam explained.

Michael finished chewing his food first before answering, pausing briefly to consider his thoughts. “They actually might be looking for me right now…”

“Eh, then shouldn’t you go back soon?”

“It’s alright,” Michael said with a smile. “I’m sure they can forgive my missing presence for a while longer. Besides, I did say I wanted to know who you truly are.”

Adam snorted, “That’ll be your number one regret in the future for sure.” The mask he had been so comfortably wearing during his entire time in Eden was essentially off, save for a certain secret. No more acting all sweet and innocent, he was just going to be himself, one that annoyed and pushed people away, that was who he really was. See if that wouldn’t scare Michael away. Though as the thought crossed Adam’s mind, a sense of both relief and anxiety pervaded throughout his entire being. Sure, he felt relieved not having to act so nice all the time anymore, but what if his actual personality would truly push Michael away from him? Then what? Maybe he shouldn’t have been so rash and acted on his feelings; maybe he should’ve just kept wearing the stupid mask on, that way he would at least still have a friend; maybe he should’ve just outright rejected Michael, that way he wouldn’t have to worry about stupid things like this–

“Don’t say that.” Michael placed his bowl down as he moved closer towards Adam. His gentle hands wrapped around Adam’s, giving it a soothing squeeze. “What’s wrong?,” he asked after noticing the wrinkles between the first man’s brows, the way his lips downturned into a small frown, his golden eyes flooded with unease. 

“N-nothing,” Adam replied as he pulled his hands away, keeping his eyes down towards the ground. This was pathetic. He felt pathetic. “Anyway, thanks for this,” he said as he held his own bowl of fruits up. “It was nice.”

Michael felt himself deflate a little bit at Adam’s deflection, but that was alright, he was patient. “No problem at all, I’m glad you like it,” he smiled. “Though actually, I was hoping if you could teach me more about ‘cooking’?” Learning about Adam wasn’t just through talking; how he liked to do certain things, what he did in his spare time, his favourite spots in the garden – all these were also other ways for Michael to know the first man much better, especially when the door was still open for him. 

Adam eyed Michael up and down, a certain kind of scrutinising look painted plainly on his features. It was a neutral but also quite critical kind of look, in a very judging way, somewhat similar to when the other angels found out that Michael had covered up some of his brother’s antics, though Adam’s was more on the petty side. It was odd, to be looked at like that by Adam, yet also refreshing as he was discovering new things about his human. 

“Hmmm,” Adam contemplated loudly, eyes squinting a little at Michael. The few times he had attempted to teach the angel told him that Michael absolutely had no skill nor talent for the craft, but then Michael only got to try a few times. Maybe he only needed to practise more. 

“Only if you want to, of course,” Michael added. 

“I guess I could teach you some more,” Adam shrugged. What was the harm, right?

There was plenty of harm. In fact, Michael himself was the danger. 

The two stared down at the small tree and the small area that surrounded it that Michael had somehow, by some sort of miracle, managed to set in a fiery blaze. Panicked wasn’t even enough to describe what Adam had felt when he saw the tree burning red with Michael inside the very flames. Thankfully, Michael was one sturdy angel, having left the incident one hundred percent unscathed, though the same couldn’t be said about the nearby plants. The smell of burnt wood wafted in the air as thick black smoke floated up to the skies as the charred remains of the tree barely remained standing in all its scorched glory. In fact, Adam was sure the inside of the tree was still burning slightly. Before, Adam was sure he was safe in the garden, but now Michael had reminded him how close death could be.

“I, uh.” Michael wasn’t even sure how everything happened. One moment he was trying to heat up the pan so he casted a small golden flame from his fingertips to set the ‘kindling’ alight, then the next moment he was engulfed in a large flame himself. Was it the oil? No, maybe it was grease. Had he spilled them and not noticed? Either way, Adam did tell him to be mindful of it, and he thought he was being careful, but maybe holy fire wasn’t a good combination with it. 

“I guess I’ll have to replace your pans and utensils…”

—-

“Okay, no more cooking for you,” Adam declared as they, yet again, have some more fruits and nuts to eat for lunch instead. “Like, ever.”

“Oh,” Michael’s shoulders slumped down, though he understood why Adam had banned him from cooking. It did get a little dangerous, at least for Adam and the garden. That meant he could only practise in places that could withstand some damage, like Heaven. 

Adam noticed Michael deflate, and while he planned on sticking to his rule of banning the angel from cooking, he did feel a little bad; Michael really did try after all, he just didn’t have the sense for it, at least for the time being. Adam sighed, maybe he could teach him about things that were a little easier to handle instead.

“Let me tell you about this new drink I made,” Adam suggested. “It’s made with dried leaves, flowers and fruits. I think you’ll like them.”

Michael perked up at the mention of learning something new, and getting to spend more time with Adam. “Oh? What is it called?”

Adam felt an odd little warmth bloom from within his chest at seeing Michael cheering up again, though he decided not to dwell too much on it. “I’m calling it ‘tea’. It’s a nice warm beverage that helps me calm down or sleep better sometimes,” he explained as he got up from his spot ready to head somewhere. “I’ve got some stocked, I’ll just go get them. Meanwhile, can you go gather some dry wood, twigs and leaves? I need to boil some water.” He had begun walking away already when he stopped abruptly, turning back to Michael. “Oh, and don’t you dare start the fire this time!,” he shouted before quickly making his way to get some of the dried tea he had made days prior. 

By the time Adam had arrived, Michael had gathered plenty of things to be used as kindling, collected some water to be boiled, and had everything set up and ready with no fire or anything burnt in sight. Michael sat on the ground, his back towards Adam as he patiently waited for the first man to come back. His flittered ever so slightly as he hummed a soft tune to himself; his was tilted slightly down as he seemed to be focusing on something else. Adam grinned to himself, a little mischievous thought crossing his mind. With slow, careful steps, he made his way towards the unsuspecting angel. Step by step, he got closer and closer, crouched and ready to pounce in three…two…one…

“Boo!,” he yelled out as he pounced onto Michael’s back, draping his arms around the angel’s neck. “What are you doing there?,” he asked as he peered at what Michael had in hand. “Oh, that kinda looks like m–”

“Aaah!” Michael quickly wrapped his wings around him covering what he had been doing. “N-nothing! Nothing at all!,” he said, a golden tinge quickly spreading on his cheeks. 

“Nono, I’m pretty sure I saw something,” Adam grinned as he tried to pry between the feathers and look inside the wings. But as soon as he did that, a soft ‘poofing’ sound was heard from beneath the wings, and when Michael finally opened them, there was nothing inside besides from the angel himself.

“See? Nothing at all!”

Adam got off Michael as he flopped down on the grass, a pout on his lips. “You’re a terrible liar, you know that right? The flush on your face is literally giving you away.”

Michael touched his face, and yeah, it was pretty warm. “It’s just a little something…It’s not done yet so–”

“Hey, hey, I was joking. You don’t have to show me if you don’t want to,” clarified Adam. He was nosy, but not THAT nosy. “Anyway!” He triumphantly waved three small pouches in front of Michael, a faint fragrant smell emanating from it. “I’ve got our tea, cups and a pot!” 

While Adam ensured that he was the one to start the fire and boil the water, he left the four kinds of tea he made with Michael to examine and smell. Apparently, all three little bags of dried plants made different kinds of drinks. Michael was actually quite excited to try them, each smelled so differently pleasant, some were quite sweet while others had a calming effect to them. Heaven didn’t really offer a lot of choices for angels to drink, they only really had water, angel wine, and certain fruit juices, and the fruit juices were a new addition when the garden was made. So this new warm drink made with dried plants was a completely new concept to him, and he was quite happy to be one the first to try it, especially since Adam had made it. 

“Okay, so which one do you want to try first?,” asked Adam as he made his way back to Michael. The water was simmering already, and he had even smaller pouches ready to be used as tea bags. “That one is made out of dried peaches, raspberries and rose petals; that one from the leaves of Camellia sinensis; and that one from dried apples and elderflower.”

“Can’t I try them all?,” asked Michael, he really did want to try all of it.

“You can, but just one at a time,” Adam replied. “So, which one are you most curious about?”

They all sounded very interesting to Michael, and it didn’t help that they all smelled so fragrant, but he couldn’t help but be a little more curious about the one made out of leaves instead of flowers and fruits; it also smelled differently from the other two, it smelled grassy while the other two were sweet. 

“Then, can I try this one first?,” he said as he handed Adam the pouch. 

“Ooh, green tea. Personally not the biggest fan of it, but they’re great after meals.” Adam took the pouch from Michael, transferring some of its contents into an even smaller pouch before letting it steep inside the pot filled with recently boiled water. “And now, we wait for a bit.”

“And we just leave it soaking like that?,” asked Michael, curiously eyeing the steeping tea. It seemed simple enough. 

“Yup, it adds flavour to the water,” Adam answered. “Though, green tea wouldn’t have too much of a flavour to begin with.”

Michael simply hummed in response, clearly fascinated by such a simple thing. Adam found it kind of funny. Here was an archangel who was literally made from the light of stars, and lived in Heaven, he had probably seen things humans couldn’t even begin to comprehend, and yet, a simple little thing such as making tea captivated him. It was…kind of adorable, if Adam had to be honest. 

A faint grassy scent wafted from the pot, signalling that the tea was ready to be served. 

“Oh, that means it’s ready,” said Adam as he got them their cups and poured the tea into them. 

“That was quick.” Michael looked at the hot drink served to him, he could see why Adam decided to call it ‘green tea’; the liquid was of a faint green colour and it really did smell quite grassy. He pulled the cup closer to him, the mild steam passing by his face before taking a sip. 

“Ah wait! That’s very hot–,” Adam tried to reach out for Michael’s cup but was a little too late. 

“Hmm?” Michael looked up from his cup, still taking a sip of the tea. It tasted quite bittersweet, earthy and a little grassy, a mixture of flavours he never had before. He quite liked it. 

“Nevermind,” sighed Adam. He almost forgot, this was the same guy who didn’t realise he was on fire until Adam had to call out for him. Heaven borns really are freaky. “So, do you like it?,” he asked.

Michael put down his cup, still savouring the new taste on his tongue for a few more seconds before answering. “It’s odd, but I like it a lot. Can I have more?,” he asked, handing his cup over to Adam. 

“Yeah, sure sure.” Adam poured some tea into his cup. “I’m surprised you like it that much.” He took a sip of his tea before pulling it away, tongue sticking out as disgusted look appeared on his face. “Ugh, yeah, still hate it.”

“Really? Then why did you make so much in the first place?,” asked Michael while pointing at the pouch filled with dried green tea leaves. 

“There’s only so much I can do in the garden, and when I get bored, I like to get a little experimental and do things excessively,” Adam answered. “I actually have so much more stashed away. You can take the entire pouch if you want, since you like it that much.”

Michael visibly beamed up at Adam’s offer. “Can I really?”

“Yeah, go ahead, I don’t want them anyway,” Adam waved off, happy to finally have some use for the excess he made. 

As Michael took the pouch and put it inside the pocket of his robes, he felt an odd sensation in his halo as it glowed bright. Adam knew what that meant, but decided to keep his mouth shut, that was the one thing he wasn’t willing to divulge yet. 

“Something wrong?,” he decided to ask instead. 

“Oh, they’re really looking for me now in Heaven…,” answered Michael a little quietly. 

Just from the tone of his voice, Adam could tell that Michael didn’t particularly want to go back yet, and he couldn’t blame him. Heaven for all its splendour was boring as shit when you’re not a simple winner; always stacking more work onto everyone who had at least a  somewhat important role. He couldn’t even imagine how much work the poor guy had to do. Then a sudden thought crossed his mind. 

“Oh, that’s too bad. We still have the other two to try,” said Adam, shaking the pouches of tea. “I personally prefer these ones. Quite sweet, really nice.”

“Um, well…” It was almost evening, Michael was almost away from Heaven for almost a full day cycle. He really should be getting back.

“It’s quite nice to share a drink with someone.” Adam gave Michael a little sad smile, his eyes casting down, looking a little tearful. “It’s kind of sad to enjoy it alone, as I've been doing until now.”

Michael knew he really should head back to Heaven, but then he couldn’t just leave Adam alone like that, could he? Plus, he really did want to try those two other teas. His personal wants wrestled with his sense of duty, tackling each other in his mind, constantly going back and forth with both having good arguments against the other. But in the end, only one ended up victorious. Well, Michael liked to think he thought hard and carefully about his decision, but as soon as Adam gave him that sad, pitiful look, it was quite obvious to him what he was going to do. 

“Well, I guess they can wait a little longer,” he yielded, really it wasn’t even a fight. 

Adam grinned to himself. Oh how he missed getting others in trouble with him, or well, in this case he should be free from any repercussions. He was after all just a human. He made a quick silent prayer for Michael for when he finally does go back to Heaven, knowing how scary an angry Sera could be. But for the time being, he was just going to enjoy their cute little tea time.

Part 19

Part 21

[luckykiwiii101]

Hiii kiwi, welcome back!

I'm glad you're here now & I'm loving your darker era 🖤

Now that you are back, I want to share one more synchronicity (which I consider success) with you~ and it's regarding this post.

So I searched up the release date of this movie, and guess what it said? It said 20th September!!! That's my boyfriend's birth date 🤯🤭 you know, this is a sign. Hello world is such a nice movie tho (I haven't fully watched it), he goes back in time to save his d3ad gf and yessssss, I'm doing it too.

Also one more help, I can now enter the void very easily, without anything. But the thing is i can't stay aware there until after. What can i do to stay aware of the void while in it?

—thanks in advance! 💗

Hey!!! I’m glad you’re liking my new era ❤️

THESE REALLY ARE SIGNS!!! The way they’re so specific too!!!

As for the void, I know it must be tiring to hear “change your assumptions” but it’s the easiest thing ever.

From now on, you always enter the void state AWARE. Unaware? What’s that. Never heard of it.

[honey-bell-aint-well]

The strings make friends with the other instruments :D

Also, I finally figured out how to get rid of that weird silence at the end!!

Edit: Thank you for the compliments!! I really appreciate them :D Sorry for not responding directly, I don't feel much like talking at the moment ^^;

Music taglist [let me know if you want to be removed or added!]:

@kiwi-enjoyer @undertale-person @askmistaketalesurgesans @beryllineart