#also i need a breakdown of the costumes of this show because i am aware that there's discourse about this online lmao

[blairwld]

this joke doesn't work because Elsa's dress is very much a 2013 dress

[mcu-multiverse-order-review]

Spider-Man - Season 3 (1970)

Spider-Man season 3 was in my opinion, better than season 2, mostly because they returned to the format and tone of season 1.

Generally I can say that I enjoyed most of season 1(when it wasn’t being outright offensive). I didn’t like season 2, and season 3 was fine, but clearly had no budget so it was mostly repeats.

In terms of MCU connections, none yet again. If you're watching things solely for MCU connections I would recommend watching any season 1 episode-a for the theme song, and also Episode 19b “Double Identity” for the pointing Spider-Man meme.

As for Spider-Man mythos; Season 1 introduces a decent number of Spidey’s comic rogues gallery, but only a few of his supporting cast. Season 2 does include Spidey’s origin and the introduction of the Kingpin, but other than that not much more. Season 3’s only contribution was introducing MJ to animation.

Anyway, as usual episode breakdowns are below the cut.

The next series on the list is gonna be good, I can barely contain my eXciteMENt.

Episode 40a - “The Winged Thing”

Nooooooo, the Vulture has lost his infinity chin. A tragic day this is.

Anyway, fucking finally returned to the 10 minute half episode format, and the Vulture’s back, meaning they’ve returned to using actual super villains, thank fuck. Although the episode format has returned back to how it was in season 1, it still retains the moody look from season 2. I’m not overly fond of it, but at least it’s not as miserable as season 2.

And oh look, JJJ and Betty are back, hopefully this is a sign I will actually enjoy watching this season. (Despite the fact that I’m aware that this episode is made up almost entirely of reused assets from the Vulture’s previous episodes.)

Episode 40b - “Conner’s Reptiles”

Ok, so this episode just seems to fucking forget the events of Episode 18a completely, with Billy barely recognising Spider-Man.

Anyway this episode effectively repeats Episode 2a, with the twist that Connors isn’t the Lizard here, instead it’s one of his experiments that has captured him. Spidey dissolves an entire reptile. The fuck?

Episode 41a - “Trouble with Snow”

Pete fights a monstrous snowman and I am hungry… That has nothing to do with the episode, I just thought I’d let you know.

Episode 41b - “Spider-Man vs. Desperado”

And back to our regularly scheduled JJJ blaming Spidey for random shit.

Episode 42a - “Sky Harbor”

o_o

The main villain of the episode is a literal nazi. I have nothing to add.

Episode 42b - “The Big Brainwasher”

Ok, so the actual contents of this are kinda dumb as hell, but it’s good to see good ol’ Willy Fisk back. Also Captain Stacy got completely redesigned for this episode. Let’s be honest here, this episode is important for only one thing…

Characters Introduced:

Mary Jane Watson

Took long enough for the Jackpot to show up, but here she is. For some reason in this continuity she’s Captain Stacy’s niece. I feel like this version of the character is less pure MJ and more a blend between MJ and Gwen.

Episode 43a - “The Vanishing Doctor Vespasian”

The villain in this episode acts like he’s the first to figure out invisibility, but like, did the showrunners forget one of the main villains of Season 1 was an invisible guy? We’re just gonna forget him? Yeah? Alright, fair enough.

Episode 43b - “The Scourge of the Scarf”

The main villain of this episode needs to go back to Megamind’s school of villainy, like he’s got the theatrics all good, but his costume is literally just a scarf wrapped around his face, like come on, do better.

Episode 44a - “Super Swami”

So I’m not well versed in cultures or religions, but a quick google search indicates that Swami is a significant title used in Hinduism. So what kind of bullshit was this show on to think this depiction was ok?

I don’t even know what to call this. Xenophobia? Racism? I literally don’t know. All I know is it’s bad vibes.

Episode 44b - “The Birth of Micro Man”

Not to be confused with Ant-Man.

Episode 45a - “Knight Must Fall”

Last time I saw Sir Galahad, he was getting sexually harassed at the Castle Anthrax, but luckily he was saved by Sir Lancelot. I literally cannot remember what he did in the rest of the film.

Oh shit, I’m supposed to be talking about Spider-Man.

Episode 45b - “The Devious Dr. Dumpty”

Between Kingpin and Dr. Humpty Dumpty over here, Pete really likes making fat jokes. I’m not gonna call him fatphobic, I’m just gonna say Spidey needs some better jokes.

Episode 46 - “Up from Nowhere”

Ah yes, Atlanteans, the ancient geniuses that got themselves stuck at the bottom of the ocean. A real smart bunch that lot. Just in case you don’t realise, this sarcasm.

Episode 47 - “Rollarama”

So Wikipedia calls this episode a remake of Episode 30 “Vine”, and while I would mostly agree as it reuses the general plot and animation, it does have its own twist on the story.

Episode 48a - “Rhino”

Huh. So this was literally just a slightly reedited version of Episode 14a “The Golden Rhino”.

Episode 48b - “The Madness of Mysterio”

Ok, what the fuck? Why is Mysterio just some green guy? Like, he doesn't even have his suit, he’s literally just a guy this time.

Episode 49 - “Revolt in the Fifth Dimension”

I think I can understand why this episode was never aired. Grey Matter from Ben 10 fucking dies. Spidey goes on an acid trip. And there’s more flashing lights than “Electric Soldier Porygon”.

Episode 50 - “Specialists and Slaves”

So this is literally just a combination of Episode 23 “Swing City" and Episode 39 "To Cage a Spider”, which is fine; except for the fact that captain Stacy’s design is different in season 3 than it was in season 2, creating some very jarring continuity errors concerning him.

Episode 51 - “Down to Earth”

This was basically just Episode 33 again, but snow covered and instead of a NASA rocket the macguffin is a UFO disguised as a meteor.

Episode 52 - “Trip to Tomorrow”

So this is how the series ends, clip show versions of Episodes 29 & 37, an entire recap of Episode 13a, and Spidey scaring a kid out of wanting to be a vigilante. Huh.

Well at least we got to see actual Mysterio one last time.

[windebris]

roman: princy or princess?

ok i know the title sounds like crack, but hear me out:

Roman’s whole deal is being a prince. Hes got the costume, he plays up the gimmick, he even has a fricking sword. We know this, we’ve seen the ups and downs of this in the series, and we know the black and white, prince vs evil mentality is about to explode in everyone’s face (more so than it already has, that is) because who everyone expects/wants him to be doesnt line up with his real self, and he’s still not at the point of truly accepting himself for who he isnt (a cookie cutter, perfect prince) and is (a mess) (via @beauty-and-passion bc i love their analyses so fricking much), but we’ll come back to that

Roman’s primary inspiration (via c! thomas’ perception) is disney princes, so lets take a look at their usual jobs in the films.

Vanquish evil 

Advocate true love

simple enough, right? just like roman, at first it seems that way. Im sure at the beginning of sanders sides we all thought he would be a showy, pretty boy prince who wanted thomas to be ‘good’. Because princes always get rid of the evil in the end, right?

but we know how thats worked out for roman. Mean to virgil, backfired awfully. Condemned janus, everyone’s against roman now. Separate from remus, it came back to bite thomas. And it was fine, roman would have put up with anything so long as it only hurt him, but because thomas got hurt everything is worse. (of course, this is the case with janus too, but i’ll come back to that)

everyone knows by now that there’s going to be a reckoning next episode. We’ve seen thomas costumed as remus, so he’s gonna be in there. Roman had a breakdown last ep, backed into a corner and a confrontation, so if he isnt there when his twin is i am going to riot. Janus is definitely going to be there bc the last ep saw jan fINALLY being accepted (also a part of that confrontation), and i’m just dying to know where virgil has been as well so he might also show up. The whole gang’s gonna see what chaos goes down if patton even sneezes in their general direction

where was i going with this, i had a point

RIGHT

So vanquish evil has failed every which way for roman. Whats left? True love. Now, in most films this refers to a princess, but i think roman’s focus always has been and always will be thomas. He was heartbroken when the whole ‘thomas was lying about roman being his hero’ (or at least roman interpreted janus’ nod that way), his whole theme is because thomas needed a prince to save him from the ‘bad thoughts’ ie remus (which is irrelevant to my point so we dont have time to unpack all that rn- /ref)

But because he failed to vanquish evil the ‘right’ way (even though literally everything patton ever said led him to believe he was doing the right thing-), he’s failed to show thomas the ‘true love’, hence he is no longer thomas’ hero. No longer his prince.

whaBAM, entire basis of his identity no longer exists

So what’s left?

disney is still there, its a core part of roman and no amount of anguish will lessen that it was a core part of c! thomas’ creative development

on that note, roman still has to be his core functions. creativity, passion, ego, hopes, dreams, etc

Thinking on it though, none of those ever fit neatly into the prince persona in the first place. A prince is there to serve his ‘kingdom’ (ie the sides + thomas) and to complete the above values, not to be an artist or performer or any of the things thomas dreams of. And there is no room for passion or ego in the life of a prince because he is always looking out for his people (what should be the others’ job). Which begs the question: why was roman a prince in the first place?

The obvious answer goes back to disney being c!thomas’ first forays into storytelling. the princes were perfect examples of ‘goodness’, which as we know is key to what thomas pre-the newer episodes wanted to be, and existing already in familiar stories with killer songs to match, it was an ideal match for a ‘good’ creativity

But deeper than that, i think roman is a prince because thomas needed a placeholder to be his protector. He wasnt yet aware of janus (the metaphorical protector, saving thomas from what he wasnt yet ready for), lying to himself about the dark other sides altogether, and virgil was too busy playing the ‘bad guy’ at the beginning to show his true colors (looking out for thomas is virgil’s purpose, as we now know), but back then? Roman was the one barricading virgil the most, ‘protecting’ thomas from his influence

Therefore! The reason roman was the prince was to ‘save’ thomas from the others, and unconsciously, the ‘dark creativity’. Without the ‘prince,’ thomas would have accepted the darkness all to easily (from roman’s perspective, which once again goes into the subconscious protecting from remus’ stuff)

But, returning to the point (i keep getting off track lol), now the prince is gone. He’s failed in his pursuits, there is nothing else to protect from (ignoring orange), he isnt thomas’ hero

I think, bear with me, he’s going to become more of a princess now.

✨metaphorically✨

Princes, in the typical disney movie, are black and white. Theyre either good (eric, phillip, etc) or bad (see hans). Fight evil, get the girl love interest, live happily ever after, or… dont.

Living happily ever after by fighting evil has gotten roman absolutely nowhere; in fact, it got him ostracized and rethinking his entire self concept, so thats not an option now.

princesses, on the other hand, have gone through a fricking renaissance. Where they used to be as black and white as princes minus the possibly-evil bit and delicate as flowers, now they can be hard-working, law-breaking, dream-chasing, yet still people-saving girlbosses, which is essentially roman on a can label.

im mixing my metaphors, but what roman really, truly needs right now is that metamorphosis. He’s crumbling under the pressure his prince persona puts on him (ha, alliteration). Thomas’ moral dilemma is making his two creativities split at the seams even more than they already have, because if morality is such a spectrum, then why is his creativity so seemingly (forgive the overuse of this phrase) black and white?

If roman could shed the princeliness and take in more princess qualities (ie a certain disregard for the rules, doing whats right [for thomas, that is, which is being himself {a theme in many princess-centric films} despite expectations] by ignoring pre-set rules and expectations), he’d be so much healthier in the long run

Thats not to say he should be a princess aesthetically. Dude said himself- he is a manly man who is manly, but the free spirit so many disney princesses seem to envelop could better not only roman, but thomas

this way, roman doesnt *have* to be perfect to be ‘good’ (something thomas still values, but in a different way now as we see in SvS redux). He can be his truest self (ego, passion, dreams and all) without contradicting who thomas sees roman as. He can go back to being his hero, if he wishes -- just in a new way

Because all the things that dont fit into being a prince fit perfectly into princesses (and he still gets to keep the innate disney-ness for the aesthetic)

[honey-hippie-harper]

Walking through the dark

Hello :’) ahdjabndms well...I didn’t enter the gift exchange (I WAS HAVING A BREAKDOWN I’M SORRY) but...ansdhnsj yeah :’) @honey-harper-official like I had already told you...I wanted to do something for you. You asked for angst about Adrian talking about his mom...but this turned out to be kinda Nodrian, I hope you don’t mind :’)

Idk what to say :’) You were an important part of this fandom, and I’m going to miss you a lot. Still, I am (I think we all are) proud you’re doing what’s best for you. Carry on <3

I hope you like this <3

And thank you.

I’m a little rusty in all this writing straights businesses

Walking through the dark

Two years after the Supernova, they were trying to “get more creative” with the parade, while trying to make it more affordable at the same time.  

This year, it looked like an illustrated book. There were no paid actors, nor were the Renegades on top of a float. If anything, they were patrolling alongside the rest of the teams, and the only extra checks were for the marching band and the drivers.

The first float was about the lift of the city, and it had a city in ruins, with Ace Anarchy standing above everything. The background was in greys and reds, which made his gold and blue costume glow like a traffic light in the shadows. By the right corner, were Queen Bee and Cyanide, turning their backs at the audience, and staring at Ace Anarchy instead.

The second float was about the Renegades’ first public appearance, standing at the front, ordered by height, while the Anarchists’ silhouettes stood behind them, taller and bigger, so they could fit into six different people.

The next one was the Puppeteers’. He was standing on a Ferris Wheel, with the strings coming from his hands tied around the Anarchists and the Renegades’ shadows. The Renegades had blue strings, and the Anarchists had red strings.

The following one was new, because her parents had never been in the floats before. It was a beautiful car, with colors that resembled the Milky Way, and it showed David Artino, with a woman (Tala Artino) and a little girl (Evie, now Maggie Artino) standing behind him, placing a star into an older girl’s hands (herself). There was another, golden silhouette behind them, too.

The Day of Triumph came right after. Ace Anarchy standing on the cathedral, and Captain Chromium watching him from below, Silver Spear in hand, and a little capsule on his back.

Then came the scene after the cathedral, with the Renegades standing together outside the building. No masks. One of them missing. The rest, bruised but victorious. Captain Chromium was holding the Silver Spear above his head, and the Silver Spear had the helmet, which was on Max’s head the following float.

The supernova. Max being the one standing above them. The two of them.

Adrian and Nova. 

The supernova float had a lot of colors, and it was Adrian’s personal favorite. Maybe that’s why Nova remembered the floats so well in the first place. She had spent a good amount of time discussing with Adrian about them.

She also remembered them because she was watching them from above when she fell from the roof.

It was an accident, and it was stupid.

In order to avoid having people scattered all over the place, the teams were asked to split this year. While Danna and Nova watched from two different roofs, Adrian, Oscar and Ruby were left on the ground. From her roof, Nova could see Adrian, and if she went across it, towards the space where the water tanks were located, she could see Ruby. However, Danna was the one who could see Oscar.

When the floats arrived into their assigned street, the security camera started bothering Nova more than it should’ve had. It wasn’t really misplaced, but it surely looked so to her, because she had once been here, and she was one to know about the tricks a person who had bad intentions could play. She also knew that two could play that game, especially if they both knew those tricks.

Now, the camera wasn’t misplaced. It wasn’t. It really wasn’t. But Nova was stubborn, so she climbed on the edge of the roof anyway to go check on it. For some reason, the structure being slippery due to mold or water or whatever, never crossed her mind.

One moment, Nova was standing at the edge of the roof.

The next one, she was falling.

It happened so fast she couldn’t even scream or think, but somehow she managed to activate the emergency alarm in her bracelet, as the wind made her eyes tear up, and she felt her body suspended in time, though it was still falling, and falling, and falling.

First, the panicked swarm of butterflies reached her, careful not to block her vision because that would only make the death experience worse for her (yes, at the moment, Nova was sure she wouldn’t live to tell the story about how she fell from the roof) while also trying to help, perfectly knowing there was nothing they could do.

And, a few seconds after that, all Nova felt was a wave of overwhelming pain, when Thunderbird tackled her to stop the freefall and then wrapped her arms around her, flying all the way up to the roof, and then going down again. Nova had never been rescued by Thunderbird before, but she didn’t know one single person who said being rescued by her had been a pleasant experience. Her movements felt controlled and it was evident she knew what she was doing, but she was rough as hell, to the point where, despite knowing she had already been saved, Nova screamed for her life, until she was dropped on the ground in a mildly gentler way.

Upon stepping on stable ground, Nova realized this would be the dizziest she would ever be, and stumbled. Danna, who was already reformed, standing next to her, caught her by the arm so she wouldn’t fall.

At first, when she regained control over her senses, she heard nothing but Thunderbird’s ranting, and her voice demanding to see the entire Team Sketch, here and now, because, to put it lightly, Thunderbird was as blocked as her, and none of the two were able to hear Adrian in the distance, until they spot him.

He was bawling.

The parade was following its course, as they were trying to keep things as calm as possible, and Tsunami was still out there, acting as the only active council member at the moment, although aware of what was happening. Above all the noise and the commotion, Nova spotted Ruby politely nudging her way into the crowd, following Thunderbird’s call and, obviously, the emergency alarm sent by Nova when she was falling.

Oscar was also coming, although slower.

And Adrian was bawling.

Nova could see him knelt down on the floor, with Captain Chromium’s, who also happened to be his dad, arms surrounding him, holding his body tightly. The Dread Warden, his other dad, was there too, uselessly trying to block the scene.

Well.

Maybe his attempts weren't that useless, and it was only that Nova happened to be in the right spot, at the right time, from which Adrian’s silhouette was impossible to go unnoticed, even with the Dread Warden standing in the middle.

“Who’s riding with her in the ambulance?”

An ambulance.

The words almost didn’t make sense in Nova’s head, not even with Thunderbird’s voice, which was pretty clear most of the time, especially when she was talking to the recruits. An ambulance.

An ambulance, because Nova had fallen from a roof, and Thunderbird had caught her.

Half of her body was sore, because she had been hit by Thunderbird’s body after all, but Nova was pretty sure she didn’t need an ambulance. She didn’t need to go to the medical wing. If anything, maybe she needed some water, but she was sure nothing was broken, nor dislocated or sprained.

She was fine.

Adrian, in fact, looked way more affected than her. Nova’s heart was pounding, but she wasn’t bawling after all.

He was.

“I’ll do it.” Ruby said. “I’ll ride with her in the ambulance.”

She did understand that.

“I’m okay.” She said. “Literally, I’m doing good. I don’t need to…”

“Just in case.”

Thunderbird patted her shoulder, which made it hurt a little.

Even so, Nova was still convinced she didn’t need an ambulance.

Yet, said ambulance was already coming closer to her.

“I’m fine. I’m just fine.”

“Sssh.” Ruby came over and, as Danna let go of her hand, wrapped her arms around her, so Nova could use her as the human crutch she didn’t need. “It’s okay, Nova.”

“Don’t fight it.” She heard Oscar’s voice say.

Sweet rot, she was just fine.

Being bruised by Thunderbird wasn’t something that required her being taken to the medical wing, mostly because it hadn’t been her intention to hurt her. On the contrary, Thunderbird had saved her. She was okay.

They wouldn’t believe her, of course. It wasn’t a possibility.

It never was, when something as awful as this happened.

Ruby rode with her in the ambulance.

Adrian showed up into her room a few minutes after they started allowing visitors. His face seemed wet, and his eyes were red as cherries.

Then he got into the bed and rested his head on her chest, while she gently ran her thumb through the space below his ear, going all the way down to his chin, feeling the remnants of facial hair he had previously shaved, perhaps a couple of days ago.

For the next week, Adrian said nothing about it.

Nothing.

-.-

Nova had an intermittent schedule because, once she grew to accept the fact she also needed some spare time and do something besides work, she decided she couldn’t just work as part of the patrol units and work in the Vault. On the other hand, she also had refused to leave all the work to Callum, and it’s not like she didn’t like the Vault or hanging out with Callum. For instance, she decided she would be part of the patrol units for a week, and then she would rest from that the following one, working at night in the Vault instead.

So far, it was working. She felt more rested and relaxed, even on busy days.

The post-parade days were usually busy, if she wanted to be honest, mostly because of the things that had happened during the parade but nobody noticed them until everything was over.

Nova had covered a shift with the team when she was supposed to be getting ready to join Callum at night. In her defense, the parade was pretty stressful for everyone, even the Council, now that they have to work as staff. Still, that didn’t change the fact they were walking alongside the floats, following them through the entirety of the city by foot, with the patrolling teams working as their side view, checking if there was any threat in the spots they couldn’t see.

The Anarchists were gone, and so were the Rejects.

Both Winston and Leroy had stopped considering themselves Anarchists some time ago and, besides, they didn’t like the parade. If anything, Winston had speeded towards the Headquarters the moment they called to the house, saying Nova had fallen from a roof, but none of the two were among the crowd to see her fall.

“I would love to see them dressed in the patrol units’ uniform, though.” Winston said. Because, indeed, to make sure everybody knew they were part of the staff, they had chosen to wear patrolling uniforms, and not their official costumes. “But I won’t.”

And he didn’t.

At least, not a first.

The thing was…he did see them in the hallway when he came to the medical wing, but he was too busy freaking out to even make the slightest offensive comment.

It wasn’t until later, a few days after the parade, that, while laying on the couch, Winston started wheezing at how tight the uniform was on Hugh’s chest, how uncomfortable Kasumi looked (and how she had pulled up the sleeves), how Tamaya kept tugging on the fabric around her neck, and that photo where Simon was trying to get a little piece of tape off his clothes but, out of context, looked as if he were checking on his own butt.

Winston had a blast, but only after Leroy, Maggie and him were scared to death.

The Maggie thing was questionable.

A little. Nova wasn’t sure.

Because, just like Adrian, she didn’t mention anything about it after she snuggled up in bed with her as soon as she came home from the Headquarters.

But maybe that was just Maggie.

She was like that sometimes.

Adrian, from his part, wasn’t. He wasn’t one to be closed to his feelings. In fact, he was usually willing to talk about what was wrong and why he was upset, which was pretty useful to Nova because, even if she sometimes had some trouble admitting it, she wasn’t particularly good at reading signs. It was something she was working on, relentlessly, but Rome hadn’t been built in a day.

Maybe he was just worried.

Nova never called in sick. She rarely missed a couple of days at work, let alone the entire week.

The day of the parade, just like she suspected from the start, the healers didn't find anything unusual in her body. In fact, everything was as it should be apart from the bruises. Nevertheless, they did say she might experience some mild pain in the next hours.

And mild was only one way to put it.

Maggie had been asleep, curled into a ball, next to her, for a couple of hours already, when Nova felt the sudden urge to throw up, and when she tried to move, half of her body was so sore she couldn’t find the strength to run. Or walk, whatsoever. Instead, she somehow managed to reach for the trash can, and even that was painful as fuck.

People were right when they said Tamaya wasn't tender. Nova had had her doubts, but right now there were no doubts left. When she called to notify she wouldn’t be going to the Headquarters at all, nobody tried to convince her otherwise. People rather encouraged it, knowing Nova verged on workaholic.

Adrian texted her a couple of times, and they talked about stuff unrelated to the parade accident. Nova didn’t think anything about it, as she attributed that to the fact Adrian was as sensitive as he was open. Perhaps he thought talking about it would make her upset, despite her having left the headquarters seemingly unaffected when it happened.

Then, after Thursday, the texts stopped. They were having a conversation about pizza, and then he stopped. Which made sense, to a certain extent, because Adrian was part of a patrol unit after all, and Ruby had already told her they had a couple of night shifts these days.

Once again, she tried not to think much about it. Besides, once her muscles were a little less swollen, she agreed to paint flower pots with Winston.

Not that that was something she exclusively did with Winston. Everyone in the house had done it, because they were always trying to find ways to bond and, in this case, due to Winston’s suggestion, they had painted flower pots. So far, they  were trying their best. Maggie’s flower pot had pretty dark colors, because she claimed she liked those. Leroy’s was pretty simple, because he had just sketched some formulas and painted the top part in green. Winston had not one, but three different flower pots already, plus the one he was painting at the moment, all of them very colorful and with elaborate drawings. As for Nova...she was doing her best.

She wasn’t an artist, but, with tons of dedication, she had managed to paint her flower pot in black and blue. She was now writing her name in italics on it, thinking about how she might also draw some stars later...or tell Winston to help her draw some stars. It occurred to her it would look nice.

Their house was sort of small, meaning they had a small yard too, but it was big enough to have a small garden and to place a blanket, and sit on it while they painted.

Both Winston and Nova had awful postures, if she wanted to be honest, and hers was even worse now that half of her body was aching, though she could feel she was already getting better.

A lot, in fact.

At least now she could limp through the house without feeling like she was dying, and get into the shower without Maggie’s help (which she provided reluctantly).

Over the time they sat together, Winston and Nova did some small talk, not enough to get the other distracted from their work.

In fact, the sound of Nova’s phone vibrating distracted them more than themselves had managed to do.

Normally, she wouldn’t have answered any calls or text messages when she was in the middle of a bonding session but, somehow, she also figured it could be Adrian, so she discreetly lifted up her cellphone.

Adrian: Hey.

Adrian: Can you come outside?

“Is it Adrian?”

“It’s Adrian.”

Winston scoffed.

“Don’t make that poor guy suffer.”

-.-

Nova didn’t like bright lights, because she wasn’t used to them. Hence, when she was given the chance to decorate her own room, she chose to only illuminate it with night lamps instead of light bulbs. Not only did it make her feel more comfortable, but it also helped save money, especially when there were four people living in that house.

Her closet was right next to the door, and it was fairly messy, to the point where Nova managed to reach for a sweatshirt, without even opening the closet per se.

Oscar had given it to her as a present during her last birthday, and it was in full black. At the back, it had a phrase, written in a very small font: if you can read this, you’re too close.

Nova liked to wear it.

Maybe it wasn’t that adequate in this situation but, on the other hand, Adrian couldn’t even see it and, besides, it was more adequate than a paint-stained white t-shirt, which was what she was wearing underneath it.

Nova’s bed was made most of the time, as she rarely ever used it. It was a twin bed, of course, and she had filled it with cushions and some plushies, because one was never too old for plushies (she even managed to get a teddy bear that looked similar enough to Dolly Bear). On top of the bed, there was also a blanket Nova had been knitting ever since they had moved into this house. It was so long it fell to the floor, on the carpet, and it had several, several types of wool. Sometimes, when she felt sad, mad or stressed, she just knitted and knitted for hours, non-stop, sometimes until she got blisters in her fingers.

Needless to say, she was emotionally attached to that thing and Adrian, since he was her boyfriend, was aware of it, so he always tried to be very careful when he sat on it.

He was being careful even now, as he sat down on the bed, on top of the knitted blanket, and Nova sat on the swivel chair, although not without asking:

“Do you want something from the kitchen? I think Winston made some cookies yesterday. We also have orange juice and...pizza leftovers. The usual. So, do you...want something?”

Staring at her from the bed, through the light, Adrian smiled sideways, as he reached for her hand, lowering his gaze towards the small tattoo she had in her index finger. It was nothing special, just two dots, one next to the other. Each represented one of her parents. Adrian himself had helped her make it, back when Maggie arrived into the house and everyone was having a hard time adjusting.

(Nova had always had weird ways to cope with stress).

“Is there a reason why you’re so quiet?” Nova asked, carefully, knowing that’s what he had asked some time ago, when they finally sat down to talk about everything that had happened the previous weeks to the supernova. Especially, how he had taken her bracelet away in a rather personal way, and how that had hurt her.

They rarely ever talked about it anymore, mostly because Gatlon preferred not to talk about the supernova. Leroy often said that, like the Age of Anarchy, it was an event that had caused collective trauma. When people...people who weren’t the Council, or direct witnesses, that is, tried to talk about the issue, they automatically lowered their volume, though they knew there were no legal repercussions to the mention of the tragedy.

Still, it was delicate, so everyone just chose not to talk about it.

Nova, personally, and after some time of therapy, was open to tell her experience, though she rarely took the initiative to do it. Adrian was the same, more or less.

“Am I quiet?” He asked, his sideways smile widening. Nova tilted her head to the side, scoffing.

“Pretty much.” She confirmed. “And I don’t mean just in this very moment. Is there a reason why you’re pretending I don’t exist? You know...not texting back and such?”

For a moment, he seemed uncomfortable, and it occurred to Nova that, maybe, her tone hadn’t been the right one. Her voice was like that, but she usually managed to manipulate so it would fit in a situation the way she wanted it to.

“...I’m not mad, just so you know, but still, if you want me to know, then...I...I want to know too.” She cleared her throat. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Adrian pushed his glasses up, with the tip of his pinky.

“How are you?” He asked after a while. His voice sounded delicate, almost weak, and thin as a thread.

For a second, Nova didn’t understand.

“I’m...good. How are you?”

He laughed in response, but it wasn’t a genuine laugh. Nova knew him well enough to know that had been a nervous chuckle.

“No, I mean…” He coughed. “Thunderbird hit you pretty hard when she...when you were…”

“Oh! Yes!” Nova felt immediately stupid, so she chuckled a little too, before pulling up one of her sleeves.

Adrian’s eyes widened.

The massive bruise was getting better, but it was still there, and it still hurt to the touch. Besides, obviously, it wasn’t only in her arm, but also in her entire side, before it abruptly ended in her thigh. She wasn’t going to show that to Adrian, because one couldn’t just start getting undressed in a serious situation. He was good with just watching her arm which, on its own, was already making him uneasy for some reason. “For some reason”, she said, because this wasn’t the worst wound he had seen on her skin. These were just bruises. There wasn’t blood or anything.

“It’s getting better.” She said. “A few days ago, I couldn’t even move, but now I don’t feel as sore. Winston and Leroy brought an ointment for me, and…”

She wasn’t yet finished, when she noticed Adrian was already taking out his marker, which he usually carried in his pocket, getting it closer and closer to the bruise, to which Nova flinched, taking it out of his reach.

“Easy there.” She said, smiling and arching an eyebrow. “It’s not necessary. It's healing on its own just fine.”

“Don’t fight it, Nova.”

“Adrian, it’s fine. I’m okay. I’m doing okay. Don’t wo--”

“You’re not doing okay. You have a bruise.”

“Duh! But it’s healing. It’s fine.” Nova grabbed her own wrist, tying to get her arm out of Adrian’s reach. The bruise burned.

“It’s not fine, Nova!”

“Chill, Adrian! Chill! What’s gotten into..?!”

“IT’S NOT FINE, NOVA!”

“Why are you screaming?!”

“IT’S NOT FINE!”

The marker wasn’t directed towards her. First, because she knew Adrian would never. And, second, because she could tell it wasn’t particularly aimed at anyone or anything. Still, he threw it anyway. And given that, for some reason, Adrian appeared to be pretty distraught, letting his marker fall didn’t feel fair. Hence, Nova tried to catch it, but the chair was sort of stretchy so, in the moment she leaned backwards, it looked like she was falling.

Gasping, Adrian grabbed her by the left wrist, very tight, to the point Nova almost felt he was going to get that bruised too.

The marker fell to the floor, on Nova’s knitted blanket, and she just stared at it, while Adrian stared at her, not letting go of her hand.

Silence fell among them, as the sense of overwhelming confusion surrounded them, making them feel like they knew nothing, or that they were meeting for the first time, or that, simply, they weren’t on the same page.

As the marker laid on the floor, Adrian gulped, and finally let go of her.

“I...I think it’s not the time. I should go. I should just…”

“No.” This time, Nova was the one who grabbed him by the wrist, trying to be gentle, but also firm. “Stay. Please.”

Once again, Adrian’s eyes found Nova. He looked lost, almost like a small child, and where Nova had asked for a favor...kind of like a request, he had heard a command for some reason.

He didn’t move, but Nova did.

After picking up the marker, she moved towards the bed, sitting cross-legged, feeling the cushions behind her.

She placed the marker between them, but Adrian didn’t take it. Instead, he kept staring, until Nova took a deep breath and placed a lock of hair behind her ear, straightening her back.

“If you don’t want to tell me, then take your time.” She said. “But we can do something else. We can...paint flower pots with Winston. We could try to go on a date. Watch a movie. Nap for two days…”

That one last line was meant to be delivered as a joke, but Adrian didn’t catch it, and if he did, it wasn’t funny enough to get a reaction from him.

Sighing, Nova filled her cheeks with air, and then let it go, trumpeting with her mouth, and grabbing her own ankles, as she turned away, staring at the ajar closet.

“Nova?”

Upon hearing her name, Nova became alert, just nodding, so he knew he could go ahead, which he did after a while.

“I know it wasn’t your fault.”

“What are you talking about, Adrian?” She asked in a soothing voice, to which Adrian fidgeted with his own fingers, suddenly incapable to look her in the eye.

He was frozen.

And he couldn’t.

“When...when you were falling...when you were falling from that roof…” Adrian squirmed, frowning, and massaging the bridge of his nose. Hesitating. Maybe scared. Maybe a little confused.

Nova waited for him.

“When you were falling from that roof, before Thunderbird caught you… before we realized you were okay...before… before...before everything was okay.” He gulped, still not being able to look her in the eye.

“...It’s like…” he scratched his own arm. “...It’s like I almost saw her.”

Her.

Her, wh… ?

Something clicked inside of her brain, and all the dots connected with each other.

Suddenly, Nova remembered the one who had fallen from the roof, and taken half of the world with her in the process.

Georgia Rawles’ ghost was hanging from the sky, but not this one; she was hanging from another sky, perhaps the same one Nova’s parents were, and nobody could see her, nor hear her.

Nevertheless, they could feel her. And her absence stabbed the ones who had loved her in the stomach, perforating their insides.

Choking down a gasp, Nova took her hands to her mouth, remembering how she, too, had fallen from a roof, and for a second she saw nothing but Adrian knelt down on the floor, clinging on his dad.

“Adrian.” She whispered, in a suffocated voice. “Adrian, I’m sorry, I…”

She stared into his eyes once again. They were shiny as crystal, and red as blood.

Maybe it was time to stop talking and do something instead.

So, gulping, Nova reached for him, and wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight and being corresponded. After a couple of seconds, Nova’s arms started to get a little tired, and the pain came back to her, but she didn’t let go. On the contrary, she just changed the position of her arms, putting her arms beneath his’ , and resting her chin on his shoulder.

For his part, Adrian kissed one side of her head, and Nova felt his breathing between her hair. Then, she felt his fingers, tenderly caressing her scalp.

His body became tense, and his heart started beating fast, for Nova could feel it in her own chest, and in her entire body.

As Adrian shivered, Nova made sure he knew she understood, and rubbed the tip of her nose against the fabric of his shirt.

“I’m here.” She reminded him.

“I know.” He said, in a broken voice. That, for some reason, made Nova feel some sort of relief, and she hoped Adrian knew how much she meant it.

Because she did. A whole lot, in fact.

“...I know it wasn’t your fault...” He said, once they had separated, and he had wiped the tears from his eyes.

Nova held his hand, and her bracelet shone under the soft lights.

“...I know it wasn’t her fault either.” Chills ran down Nova’s spine. “It’s not her fault she died...and sometimes I wonder if she knows that. That it wasn’t her fault. That I know she wanted to stay. That I know she loved me. That I know I miss her and that I…”

Adrian cut himself off.

“That I’m sorry.”

Nova resisted the urge to ask him how therapy was going, because she knew having intrusive thoughts didn’t necessarily mean therapy wasn’t going well. Still, she held his hand tighter, and gulped.

“I’ve heard many things about your mom.” She said, smiling sideways. “And I didn’t get to personally meet her, but I trust she loved you very much. Raising a child...while trying to take down a government...that is badass, Adrian.”

She gulped.

“... And if she was willing to do that for you...then I’m sure she knows.”

Adrian shivered again, visibly, and as tears started rolling down his face again, Nova placed her hands on his cheeks, wiping some of them away.

“And I’m sure she knows it wasn’t your fault, too.”

Adrian hiccuped, pressing Nova’s hand against his skin, calm.

“...When do you learn to see in the dark, Nova?” He asked in a low voice.

And for some reason, the answer was clear from the first second, as she, staring directly into his eyes, said:

“You don’t.”

Because she knew.

“...What you do learn, it’s to walk by the ones who have an excellent night vision and are willing to help you through, and you also learn to follow the voice of those who aren’t here anymore.”

Nova gulped.

“Your dads, Max, Danna, Oscar, Ruby… and me. We’re all here… maybe she’s also still here, somewhere up there, in the universe.”

By feeling him right there with her, Nova felt that they really were.

That they were.

And that they could.

Adrian smiled sideways, and when they laid next to the other to nap for two days, and Nova made sure they both knew they could use the blanket if they wanted to, she asked:

“Remember when you said that maybe you wanted me to be your nightmare?”

“I remember.” Adrian rested his head on his own arm. His eyes were still shiny for the tears, and they were very brown and very beautiful.

“I don’t want to be.” She said, slowly. “Let’s not be each other’s nightmare, okay?”

“Then what should we be?” He asked, scoffing a little.

Nova thought about it for a while. Then, she kissed him. A small kiss, that felt as if the other were a safe, warm space.

“Light.” She said.

“Let’s walk together through the dark, so we don’t fall.”

And for a while, the world was theirs.

Then, Maggie came to knock on the door, saying Leroy wanted them to take the car and go buy food, knowing Adrian would stay for dinner.

[sweet-evie]

I really felt annoyed on that kallen and lelouch scene where kallen landed on top of him in a sense where both has something to go back after the battle i mean lelouch was asking her to go back with him, I just felt where would c.c. be after the battle, will she be forgotten after it? Will it be like okay c.c. your job here is done you may go and we will go back to our own ordinary lives, will lelouch just let her go if she decided to go....lol and the list go on, (this is me speaking beyond shipping and as a c.c. enthusiast) and if i didn't know that the director is pushing c.c. and lelouch to each other i will forever hate the series cuz c.c. deserves the best (i mean its very obvious with the official arts and scenes and i remember reading something about it before) (can we also assume that c.c. got jealous on that part too lol what would happen if c.c. didn't speak about tabasco will they kiss? lol) I also really have a love hate feeling w/ kallen, she is really a good pilot and i kinda ship him sometimes with suzaku, sometimes not because i love him with euphie, but really that tension whenever they are together fighting or not Idk if its their strong and badass character but they really look good and compatible with each other but then I really love her with Gino the most lol i mean if i find kallen and suzaku compatible then i find kallen and gino most compatible hahaha Its just that kallen can show that she can be weak/soft can be tired or can breakdown (and not the always strong her) with gino. (I hope you can understand this part) I love it when gino picked her up after her battle with suzaku. How I wished gino appeared more in the series, was introduce early and they had scenes more together. I sometimes dislike her cuz she is over reacting in a lot of times like she is just too much and almost in par with nina's reaction most of the times haha (i kinda dislike/hate kxl scenes in a sense too that its one sided like its mostly k and l shows no interest but sometimes it look like there is a mutual feeling between both of them(i mostly felt its one sided shen watching the movie especially the resurrection) (What can you say about their scenes?, when he put jacket to her while she was wearing bunny girl costume, the refrain scene, when she fell on top of him, when she was captured, their kiss? etc.) BUT if you look at c.c. and lelouch relationship and scenes together its just too consistent lol i just love it how lelouch always assured and pursued her from that rooftop scene after battling with Mao, if she is a witch then he'll became a warlock, when he discovered and promised her about fulfilling her true wish, when she asked him if he hated her for giving him the power of geass and about to do something if kallen did not interrupt and bonus: that resurrection scene when he decided to become L.L. (I LOVE WRITING THIS PART OF ASSURANCE AND PURSUING ABT CLUCLU, MY FAVORITE XD, pls add some if i forgot something) i also kinda agreed to that statement except c.c. part lol going around that Shirley -> Lelouch Lamperouge, Kallen -> Zero and C.C. -> Lelouch Vi Britania but doesn't C.C. knows all lelouch's persona and had been supportive and stayed with him from the very start and in whatever path he chose? 😂 I hate it that people come at c.c.'s age and that she witness lelouch grow up like, is her immortality her fault? Like people are okay for male characters of 123456790 age falling for main girls in dramas or some animes for example but not okay if its c.c. lol SORRY THIS POST IS SO LONG it was supposed to be focus only on the first part about THAT scene 🙏

Whoa~ You’re not lying, this is one hell of an ask 🤣😂😅 I read 4 topics in this xD:

Lelouch, Kallen, C.C. scene

Kallen ships (Suzaku or Gino)

Kallen x Lelouch vs C.C. x Lelouch

C.C. & Lelouch's Age-gap

Let’s go in!

Lelouch, Kallen, & C.C. Scene

(can we also assume that c.c. got jealous on that part too lol what would happen if c.c. didn't speak about tabasco will they kiss? lol)

Maybe, but who knows, to be honest. xD The whole interaction was very impulsive, considering the fact that Lelouch was still fresh off of bouncing back from his depression, which Kallen had witnessed and was at the brunt end of.

When Kallen fell on top of Lelouch, I do believe both of them were thinking about that one moment where Lelouch tried to use Kallen to forget his current circumstances. Perhaps part of Kallen wanted it, but knew it wasn’t right. So I adore her for bitch-slapping him. xD The idiot deserved it.

C.C. was just there... I’m not sure if she was jealous or not. Maybe she didn’t give a fuck xD Before I could form my own conclusions, the entire scene is interrupted again because Zero gets called out into the control room.

Kallen Ships (Suzaku vs Gino)

I agree with most of your points in this part.

Personally, in my own fics, I ship Kallen with Gino a lot because for me, Suzaku belongs with Euphemia by default.

But, I do see the chemistry and the sexual tension that could go between Suzaku and Kallen. Like maybe their fights are really just unresolved sexual tension 😂🤣

I imagine a romance between them would be very explosive, passionate, and rough. I don’t just mean this in terms of sex, I imagine their entire dynamic would swing this way too. They’re really opinionated, and they both literally fight for what they believe in, and their conviction is strong enough to rival each other’s. 

Suzaku and Kallen just clash magnificently. On the other hand, Gino’s and Kallen’s personalities probably combine. They have things in common, but not too much to the point of being passionate and aggressive at the same time.

KaLulu vs CLuCLu

What can you say about their scenes?, when he put jacket to her while she was wearing bunny girl costume, the refrain scene, when she fell on top of him, when she was captured, their kiss? etc.

In that scene where he put his jacket on her, I think that’s gentlemanly of Lelouch. It’s something I expect from him considering he was born a prince, and also, he has a little sister. On a sidenote, I adore both him and Suzaku for being respectful towards the women in their circle, for the most part. 

That refrain scene was a moment of grief for Lelouch and he was being erratic. I said it once or twice, I’ll say it again. I am so happy Kallen bitch-slapped him. It shows that she’s not willing to put up with bullshit, and believes that Lelouch is definitely better than that. Kudos to her, she may have slapped him to his senses. For Kallen, it was a moment of, “Please be who we need you to be.”

It was a brilliant turning point for Lelouch as well. After Nunnally was given the role of Viceroy, Lelouch, at least, realized that his war and his rebellion against Britannia wasn’t just for his sister anymore. It was for everyone he cared about too. It was for the people who counted on Zero’s idea of freedom and perhaps peace.

In summary, I made my stance clear on KaLulu on a separate post long ago. But the gist was, they may have felt romantic feelings for each other, but it was probably brief and suppressed in favor of their grander goals and all that shit that was already going down. Romance just wasn’t appropriate for Lelouch or any of the characters who had something at stake in the war.

In the end, Kallen chose Japan, and Lelouch chose Zero Requiem. That is that. 😊

BUT if you look at c.c. and lelouch relationship and scenes together its just too consistent

Lelouch & C.C.’s relationship is a slow-burn from the get-go. It’s part of the reason why it’s so appealing to me.

Let’s be honest, Lelouch doesn’t even view C.C. as human until halfway to R1, and C.C. took almost all of 2 seasons to acknowledge the fact that she cared about Lelouch.

i also kinda agreed to that statement except c.c. part lol going around that Shirley -> Lelouch Lamperouge, Kallen -> Zero and C.C. -> Lelouch Vi Britania 

I understand why a lot of people like this argument. I, for one, believe there’s a grain of truth in it. 

BUT in my own honest opinion, I think that is a little unfair to Kallen and Shirley. I’m sure Lelouch cared about the two of them in unique ways and perhaps chose to hide behind masks around them to protect them and to preserve his own façade. Hell, he lied to his own sister for most of the entire show because he thought it would protect her and would shield her from the horrors of the world. (It didn’t turn out well, did it? 🤣) Still, my point is, Shirley and Kallen would have been willing to understand and know Lelouch’s every mask. Lelouch himself, just didn’t let them. And it was for their own good, I believe.

So why C.C.?

If there’s anyone in the world who can understand people’s multiple points of view, it would probably be C.C... She lived through most of mankind’s history, and she’s been alive long enough to take multiple perspectives in, meet different types of people, and see lots of ridiculous shit xD Lelouch slowly becomes aware of this fact as the series progresses, and we do see him have deep conversations with her from time to time. She’s capable of being objective. She knocks some sense into him a lot, especially during the beginning. One notable example of this that I will never forget is the episode after Lelouch realized Shirley’s father died because of his actions. It showed how immature Lelouch was being and how idealistic -- thinking war only took out the bad guys in his side of the story. Point is, she knows when to chastise him and when to offer her consolation, which is part of the reason why Lelouch would pick her as accomplice anyway.

but doesn't C.C. knows all lelouch's persona and had been supportive and stayed with him from the very start and in whatever path he chose?\

C.C. does know him. But I wouldn’t go so far as to say ‘supportive’, nonetheless wholly supportive.

C.C. had her self-serving reasons, just like Lelouch. C.C. was looking forward to the moment Lelouch could acquire enough power and take her Code from her, so she could die. That’s why she saved his ass a lot in R1 and perhaps at the very beginning of R2. Her wishes and her intentions morph very slowly, and at one point, perhaps even blended together -- half still wanted to die, the other half was slowly empathizing and caring for Lelouch.

But yes, none can deny that she stayed with him from start to finish.

C.C. could have left after Charles & Marianne died, and I don’t think Lelouch would have blamed her if she did -- considering it was obvious that he couldn’t fulfill his end of the contract anymore. But she stayed. She stayed and helped, and kept her promise to stay with him to the very end.

Lelouch & C.C.’s Age Gap

I hate it that people come at c.c.'s age and that she witness lelouch grow up like, is her immortality her fault? Like people are okay for male characters of 123456790 age falling for main girls in dramas or some animes for example but not okay if its c.c. lol

Lelouch & C.C.’s bizarre age-gap is literally not any different from an age-old vampire or any other immortal falling in-love with a human.

I can certainly point out plenty of stories that half this same massive age-gap, and its fans still love it. 

[sanstropfremir]

it’s the episode 8 review!!! how many episodes is this show supposed to even be?

the stages from the episode feel like such a grab bag.... i still don’t understand why they didn’t put all the skill stages together, and then did the normal two episodes of the third round. i guess it makes sense that they didn’t want to have six stages in one episode and then three in the other two, but eh. 

feeling kinda average on these as a whole, there’s a lot of good elements going on here but probably because of my own preferences (i don’t listen to ballads or blackpink) none of them really hit all the buttons. hopefully this will be a shorter review because i'm only going to do a quick rundown of the vocal stages; i dont really have that much to say about them because they are (intentionally) not very stage picture focused. i'll do the normal stage breakdowns for the other two though, even though i won’t rank them because we still need to see the other four!

vocal stages

sf9 + tbz + ikon

not much to say here other than wow, that’s RED. glad to see some more specific use of spotlighting and i always love when they light things on fire. i do wish they had fill lit with a brighter amber so we could actually get a bit more detail on their faces, especially because there’s six of them. i appreciated the simple blocking and only using one of the ‘stages,’ this stage didn’t need to be anything complicated and it wasn’t. i don’t love spinning camera shots because they make me a bit ill, and i'll forgive the constant cutting because it's a vocal stage and there isn’t any other real movement that we should be paying attention to. not my favourite of the two, i found it visually a bit too repetitive and complex at the same time. always love a crushed velvet suit though, so bonus points for that.

atz + skz + btob

i was braced for the worst and i dont know what kind of miracle happened but it was listenable! like i said, not a ballad fan but i could listen to eunkwang all day. i love a good plinth for a ballad stage, they’re one of my favourite devices in kpop design and i especially love it with a good groundlevel fog. glad they kept it black and white for the first half of the stage, it was in line with the blooming flower projections, and it made a very clear colour arc. they kept the visuals clean and simple with very little blocking at all, a very smart choice for this stage. not sure why they decided it would be the chanel time stage, which i disapprove of because i don’t like chanel, but i do love eunkwang’s shirt with the cameo buttons and the massive turnback cuffs, very 17th and also 19th century. i know they never do it because they dont read on stage normally but yes absolutely more thin chain pendant chokers on men, thank you! i also liked that there was emphasis on a more traditional lighting scheme, there weren't any crazy concert effects, just some good directional beam spotlights and the rear stacks in the climax. 

third round stages

ikon

costume

the first look for them is definitely my fabourite of theirs so far. there’s enough variation in the jackets that the base layer of tshirt and jeans don’t look too repetitive. and i do love a good statement jacket. my favourite is probably donghyuk’s because i'm a sucker for fringe always.

i don’t like the backup dancers costumes, but given the way i’ve reacted to every other all black outfit for this entire show i don’t think anyone was surprised about that. these ones particularly irk me because they’re very matte; there's pretty much no texture or pattern differentials to define the shape of the limb, which makes them disappear when theyre all grouped together (mostly on the women). i think they probably were intending to make a statement/emphasis on the hands because of the sleeve cutoff point, but there were so many arm movements that were just totally missed because the costumes were just black voids. most egregious parts are here, with the female dancers up center. i can barely tell what the movements are unless i’m paying specific attention to them because there's so many black shapes. maybe it was the point for it to be an indiscernable writhing mass, but it wasn’t my vibe.

don’t love this styling on lisa. i hate peeptoe shoes in general but peeptoe boots are the worst offenders. they make you look like you have duck feet, no matter who you are. especially with a flat cutout like that. a universally unflattering shoe, and i would know, i worked in a shoe store for two years. this whole look is just pg-13 rihanna cfda awards 2014 and really nobody should try to run up against rihanna.

also i have to mention this because it’s actually really bothering me, but lisa’s backup dancers are serving very allgemeine ss looks and i do not like it. generally when we see ‘military’ uniforms in kpop theyre usually modelled off older styles (pre wwii) of western uniforms that usually aren’t in circulation, and they’re usually non-matching and embellished in ways that are deliberately not military. i know logically that it's a budget constraint+they’re backup dancers+current trend thing but the clean lines with only button detailing and the all black and that specific harness shape? it hit my brain the wrong way. i mean, technically those uniforms are designer because hugo boss did them, but the uh..... girlboss move didn’t land for me.

this is my PERSONAL OPINION please for the love of all that is holy do not come yelling at me about this. it’s all under a cut, you chose to read the post.

set

very glad to see some busy kitschy sets! this is a massive build, since there’s essentially three full sets here: the temple, the jungle, and the first tiny room. and all of them are very heavily decorated. 

the starting room is just five walls on casters (wheels), that have been set into place with the cameraman and ikon inside at the start, and then once they exit the walls can be easily struck and rolled off set. simple, smart, and convenient!

i missed it the first couple times around but glitching out the projections in the temple for a split second was a neat little trick.

the silver and polygonal nature of the tiger/panther/cat(?) head is a bit disconnected from the gold and the aesthetic of the rest of the stage for me. the difference between the original room set and the jungle tracks, but the cat head isnt able to make the same leap for me. i'm also not a fan of mixing metals so maybe that’s why.

the tiger/panther/cat(?) head is a fun physical transitional device; i'm a big fan of tunnels and small transitory spaces like that and if they’re well dressed like this one they do so much for establishing place and mood.

i'm very sure i’ve seen this style of polygonal animal head with laser eyes before....i cannot for the life of me remember where or for what. i know wang yibo did a panther stage for sdc3 that had a human formation panther with green laser eyes, i wonder if i'm just crossing wires.

OH nevermind it’s because it looks like the witcher medallion. wires were definitely crossed.

lighting

using purple/teal lighting for the jungle was a smart choice because purple is the direct compliment to the gold and also is much more flattering on humans than green. green is one of the colours that humans can see the most variations in, so when something is green when it's not supposed to be (like human skin), we register that very quickly and associate it with unease and sickness. you know how old fluorescent lights have that greenish tinge that kinda makes you feel ill? it's your cone cells and your brain recognizing that you’re looking at things that are not supposed to be green.

very clean colour arc, i love to see it.

sound

it’s.....fine? i don’t listen to blackpink and have no opinions on their music other than it's not my type. i dont really know what the thematic connection to the visuals is, which is not strictly necessary in a lot of cases, but i don’t particularly care for the conflation of ‘savage’ and a (presumably) precolonial religion that’s assembled from stereotypes of real colonized cultures. you can come at me about how ‘it's not that deep’ all you want but i am here specifically doing an in depth analysis, and i gotta point it out. i'm not here to pass judgement on you if you didn’t realize or don’t care or whatever, i'm just saying that it's important to consume content with a critical eye. what you do with that information is your own personal choice, but you should be aware of it at least. 

staging

they took a big risk eating popcorn right before singing, and we definitely got some residual mouth noises of them trying to clean out their teeth. eating on stage is difficult in general because you have to make sure it's not going to dry out the performers mouths, because they dont have access to water and it takes WAY longer to chew and swallow something than you would expect. there’s a LOT of testing that goes into making stage food and guaranteed it’s not made out of what it looks like or what its supposed to be; i worked on a production of amadeus were we did literal weeks of testing amalgams of different desserts to make sure that salieri could actually eat the ones onstage without totally drying him out, because fun fact about that show, salieri doesnt leave stage like, at all, so there was no way to get him water. poor bloke.

i thought the blocking of this was really smart. the long take from the ‘normal’ room and transition into the jungle was super slick, even if that weird circle the camera did while pointed up at the ceiling was unnecessary and pointless.

bobby’s ‘acting’ was extremely funny and that’s the only way people are allowed to act surprised now. edvard munsch scream style only.

the pacing is a bit off and this time it wasn’t mnet’s editing that fucked it up. as fun as it is to have a feature, clearly she wasn’t allowed within proximity of the rest of them for covid or other yg related reasons, but it made for some extremely long transitions, especially the one out of her verse. it kills the momentum of the stage in that beat, even though they manage to pick it up after.

this is a very simple little narrative arc that’s easy to follow and doesn’t require any extra explaining. which is exactly the kind of arc that groups should be doing at this stage in the game. this is a good formic step up for ikon!

i thought the turning off of the monitor at the end was fun and a good callback to them watching the videos at the beginning of the stage. a nice clean way to make it circular.

skz

costume

FINALLY something different on the skz boys! these were mostly fun eboy looks for them, and i like it on the basis that it's not the same as the last set of costumes.

bang chan out there with his thigh OUT and a (fake) bridge piercing? LOVE to see it. great work.

(copy-paste every thing i’ve said about backup dancers wearing all black)

the backup dancers that were dressed as bystanders/extras were great! they should have kept that with all of them because it would have given a little more shape to the choreography and establishing what function the backup dancers were supposed to have.

set

that is meant to be a giant rice cooker on stage, right? i think so because it's a god’s menu mashup? if that's not a rice cooker i have NO idea what its supposed to be

there’s only two large setpieces here, which was a smart way to go. i LOVE the subway car doubling as the truck, even if the truck itself makes no narrative sense. what a fun way to double the use of a single big piece. you’ll be able to see the way it moves in the full cam but it splits down the centre and there entrance doors at the back with attached stairs that bang chan and the dancers use to climb up.

lighting

not a whole lot happening here. i like the cool white leds in the subway car and the contrast with the more warm tones of the outside, which is good atmospheric establishment, but i can't discern a visible arc. 

not a fan of these projections; they’re in line with what we’ve seen from skz so far, which is: extremely literal. i dont think they’re that distracting, but they’re not to my personal taste. they really should have kept the comic panel theme that they did for changbin’s first verse, because that was inventive and fun to watch! and a great atmospheric indicator! i would love to see a bit more experimental projection use but it's hard when they don’t have a lot of time to build these stages and the lighting team is definitely working remotely.

sound

i love that they made the choice to do some actual talking, it’s a good gimmick and it works for the deadpool/comic book/fourth wall break theme, but australian accents take me the fuck out i am so sorry i cannot listen to either felix or bang chan speak english without laughing uncontrollably. 

i don’t like this arrangement but i'm not surprised about that, given my predilections. i'm also tired of skz shouting STRAY KIDS in every performance they do. i know on music shows it's probably more relevant and yea producers tags are a thing but we’ve been watching this show for nearly two months at this point. we know who you are, you can stop yelling. be more creative with it!

staging

my biggest issue with this stage is that it doesn’t have a payoff. there is an arc here: they’re stealing the truck, but why are they stealing the truck? who are they stealing it from? who are they fighting against? it's kind of important in a stage where the theme is stealing and fighting someone that you tell us who that is. in both of ateez’s previous stages were they were both stealing (rhythm ta) and fighting (wonderland), they made sure to show us who the villain was. there needs to be tension for a big blowup climax to actually pay off. whether it be against a a balloon arm kraken or a fascist government. this stage could have reached that next step if they’d just done a little bit more exposition. 

there were a lot of fun choreo moments here, and this is probably my favourite choreo of theirs so far. i thought the whole first bit in the subway car was excellent and a very fun play on those viral videos that we used to see roll around every so often of dancers doing routines in subway cars.

did it need the guns? not in the slightest. more on this point later. i could talk more about weapons and weight here, but i’ve done that several times already.

like with the tbz game of thrones stages, theyre relying a little too much on the audience's preconceptions of the source material in order to carry the theme. the guns are there because deadpool likes guns, but they don’t actually use the guns for anything? the most we get of the stealing segment is felix and the safe, which admittedly is a great bit with him leaping over and under the ‘laser’ lines (theyre likely led strips). because comic books are by nature procedural and deeply tied to narrative, it's unsatisfying when there’s no tension and no payoff.

HOW did we manage to get two stages that are blackpink covers with remote/tv static gimmick and durags? i know the slot machine of kpop tropes is not very big but surely the probability of hitting triple sevens on this one was pretty low. i’m pretty meh on both of these stages overall. skz was unsatisfying but i loved the choreo in the subway bit so that bumped it up a little ahead of ikon’s in my personal preferences, but i'm reserving my actual rankings for next week. assuming we get the other four stages next week and they dont do something stupid and only show two. which they very well might. i’ve stopped trying to understand why mnet does things the way that they do. 

as always the ask box is open, drop your comments/questions/personal opinions, i love to hear ‘em! but don’t be rude just because some of this is touchier subject material.

[totallypathet]

Episode 1

Drag Race is back, and so is the Pathet Commentary that noone asked for baby!

Since the UK has just gone into Lockdown #3, I am super glad there's a new series of Drag Race to keep me entertained every week - so you guys better be prepared for these ridiculously long posts, bc I got nothing else on 😂

So first of all let's talk about the format. I do not understand why this show is so obsessed with ~twists~ and ☆turns☆ and making everything a 💫gag💫. Like, nothing was wrong with the usual format? There was no need for this weird staggered introduction/lipsync thing. They kept flicking between introductions to lipsyncs, so it felt like you were always at the beginning of the episode. Very weird. And we all obviously knew that they weren't going to send half the people home on the first episode, so it just felt stupid to have this "lipsync for your LYFE" every 2 seconds. It feels insulting - if you're going to predicate an episode on half the people going home right away, the audience just feels cheated when actually noone goes home and everything we just watched is academic.

It didn't have to be that way either, they could have done all the introductions, had the whole cast do the "walk in" and have their little moment & one-liner; then put them into groups to lipsync? And whatever it is they're going to do with the Pork Chop group, they could have just said? Like "this year the first challenge is in teams, and to decide the teams we're going to have a series of lipsyncs". I have no idea if that's actually what they're doing, but it wouldn't feel as insulting as what actually happened. And then you can still have the "twist" where the teams aren't even and you have to send someone home. I wouldnt have minded that so much. I actually really like the concept of seeing them all lipsync in episode 1! It sets up the season, you can see who's going to be the lipsync assassin, you can see what kind of performer everyone is... I think its a really cool challenge for the first episode! Just the way they went about it was shitty.

The other thing is it was really clear that none of those queens knew they were gonna have to lipsync in their entrance looks, which feels unfair. At least let them prepare properly!

I also really missed the photo shoot mini challenge! Like, i know that it's harder to do that inline with covid restrictions, but I feel like there are still ways. They could have done an outside photoshoot, the photographer would not have had to be near any of the cast or crew... I just missed it.

Anyway, onto the breakdown!

1. Denali

I looooooooooved Denali's entrance look! It was so perfect. I have no idea how she was just casually walking on those skates though?! They looked like real skates, but they can't have been, right? Also, I am such a slut for like, people with super long plaits, and when they twirl the plait wraps around their body! I love it so much. The only teeny little critique I have, and I'm being super nit-picky here, is i think her contour is just a tiny bit too dark, or maybe not blended out super well? Such a nit pick, but the rest of her makeup seemed like beauty makeup, and it was done really nicely, so the contour really stood out to me.

It was also really obvious that that look was not a lipsyncing look. Which is such a shame, because I think she's a really good lipsyncer, I liked her lipsync, but I think it was a little bit hampered by what she was wearing. Its just really unfair that they didn't tell them to be prepared to lipsync in their entrance looks.

Overall though, I like Denali, I think she's great.

2. Elliott with 2 Ts

I really liked Elliott's entrance look, I thought it was a really cool 80s mom look, I liked it! I do think it was a shame that she was standing on stage in between Tina Burner and Kahmora Hall though - there was an all out campy costume on one side, an all out glamour beauty pageant look on the other, and poor Elliott did look a little over shadowed in the middle.

Unfortunately I think she was also middle of the road in the lipsync. Tina Burner is such a powerhouse that I think the other two were always going to look a little lacklustre next to her; but I think not being able to prepare properly can't have helped either! I could go either way on Elliott, I feel like I haven’t seen enough to make up my mind yet.

3. Gottmik

I really honestly thought they were called "GottMilk", which I thought was cute and fun, and I was almost disappointed when I realised I'd read it wrong and it was Gottmik. C'est la vie.

I loved Gottmik's entrance look - the makeup was stunning, the outfit was everything, I really enjoyed it! I'm really looking forward to what looks their going to pull out, especially makeup looks! I do think they're very young, and didn't seem all that confident in front of the judges; which I really hope changes! I think they're going to be amazing, I just think they need to recognise how amazing they are and own it. I also really liked their lipsync! I was finding it really hard to call between them and Utica, they both did great!

I'm also super excited to see a trans man on the show, we love inclusive drag! Hopefully this is a step towards the show being less transphobic. I'm going to be really interested to hear what Gottmik has to say about their experience on the show - particularly in a few years when they're no longer under contract with RuPaul.

Really excited by Gottmik, can't wait to see what they bring!

4. Joey Jay

I'm not convinced by Joey Jay just yet. I didnt buy everything she was selling this week. I don't know why, I just feel a bit...underwhelmed, maybe? I liked her confessionals, she seems quite funny, and self aware, which I love, I'm just not sure about her yet. I hated her entrance look, which probably didn't help 😂 the chicken feathers didn't bother me, I kind of love a big feather sleeve, and I'm all about being cheap - I do wish it hadn't been moulting though, like baby make sure your shit is glued down before you walk on! There was also something about the wig I didn't like, I think she was going for a wet look with the hair, but it just felt a bit flat. I feel like it didn't go far enough to be proper wet-look, so it just was a bit lifeless. And the bodysuit was cut super weird in the crotch area. It just felt like everything was a little bit off; and I just think for your first look, first impression, making an entrance; it was lacklustre. It's a shame.

The lipsync was okay. Again, I wish they'd been told that they were lipsyncing right off the bat, in their entrance looks, so they just were ready and prepared. Watching Joey Jay's lipsync felt a lot like she was just pulling out her "usual" moves, it didn't feel like she was in the moment. I think a lot of that can be put down to just being surprised and not totally ready? Again, it feels unfair.

I think Joey could be really great, and I do want to see her progress in the competition and see what else she has, I just feel like she didn't get to show her best this week, and I think that's a shame.

5. Kahmora Hall

Kahmora is beautiful. Her face, her body, the big hair, the Mackey dress... stunning. I literally couldn't listen to anything that was said while the camera was on her, I was so distracted by how beautiful she is 😂

I was a little disappointed with her lipsync though, it felt like she wasn't really there, she wasn't really in it? And there were a couple of moments where I think she dropped words. She just didn't seem super sure of herself, which is such a shame, because she walked in with confidence, she stood on that stage radiating star power, and then the lipsync came and she just faded. I really hope that it was just because she wasn't ready, and I really hope we see her kill it next week!

6. Kandy Muse

I can see exactly why her and Aja are friends 👌 I love that she's a big personality, and I think she could be the confessionals queen this season. I kind of love that she shaded Aja as well, because it didn't really feel like proper shade, it just felt like a sort of sibling rivalry, and I thought it was funny! I like her so far. I feel like she's the friend who's very over-excitable, and can be a little annoying, but 1000% has the biggest heart in the group and will always have your back. I relate to her 😂

I loved her entrance look! Any bedazzled and sparkling denim, I am here for it. The dress was gorgeous, I love the tie waist detail that made it look like a shirt tied around her waist, I loved the pearls on the boobs, the denim arm warmers! Everything. I loved it. The denim boom box? Iconic. As soon as she walked in, I got it. I got that she was New York, I saw a little Haus of Aja, I got the edgy beauty thing, I just loved it the second I saw it. The only shame of it is that, because they obviously weren't told they'd have to lipsync in these looks, she kept pulling it up during the lipsync. But thats production's fault, Kandy can do no wrong for me right now 😂

7. Lala Ri

Okay, hear me out. I love her. Her entrance look is the worst one I've seen for at least a few seasons. I hated it so much! And its such a shame, because she's obviously gorgeous, and an incredible performer, and funny, and all these other things, but girl the look was ugly.

I liked the high neck/faux mask thing, I thought that was cute. But it was just a weird look. There was so much fabric at the top of her body, and nothing underneath? And then to have fully bare legs with an ankle boot? No! It was just all wrong. Maybe it would have worked if the roll neck (I assume bodysuit, just for convenience) had been really sheer mesh, so there was a really clear distinction between those layers. And I wish she'd worn pumps instead of ankle boots.

But her performance was one of the best of the week. I loved it, I love how much she just threw herself into it, gave it everything, I loved it. Very much looking forward to seeing other looks from her though!

8. Olivia Lux

What a beautiful smile! Such a gorgeous face. I love love looooved her look, I love a two tone moment! Especially with the gloves - I just wish she'd done the shoes too! I loved it. I also love that it was two pieces, and that she was able to take of that long skirt in the lipsync, and give herself maximum movement! It was a really smart choice.

I also think her lipsync was great! I love that she gave me a little bit of everything; we had a bit of story-telling, a little comedy, a little camp, it was a whole lot of fun! I couldn't take my eyes off her, she was just sparkling.

I'm a little bit in love with Olivia, I think she's gonna be one to watch this year!

9. Rosé

I feel like I might be being unfair on Rosé, but I dont like her very much just yet. Her confidence was just bordering on arrogance to me, and I felt a lot like she was looking down on Olivia Lux for being a less experienced queen? And the look on her face when she "lost" the lipsync was like she was thinking "how could I lose to her", which I just didn't like at all. Idk, I probably am being really unfair, and a lot of it could be the edit, she just seems a little too cocky for me. And I also feel like, how are you gonna be super cocky like that when you've walked in in the most basic look. I don't know, I'm not buying it yet.

Her lipsync was good, but it just felt a little bit too serious, she wasn't having as much fun with it as Olivia.

10. Symone

I love that Symone came in in a dress made of Polaroids. I love it. I love unconventional materials, I love the confidence, I love that she literally came in going "this is me". And the way it was constructed as well, so it had the little flare on the bottom that moved when she twirled? Perfect. Also I love the orangey wig with it! It went so well with the dress, and she looked totally flawless.

Her performance was great as well! She was cute and funny, she knew that song back to front, I loved it. I bought it.

11. Tamisha Iman

Tanisha almost did what I wish Lala had done - the mesh top under the power suit, I loved it! I love a big power shoulder; the only problem I had was the hair. If you've got big high shoulders, you need to have big high hair, otherwise your hair is going to look flat, and you're going to look like you're walking around with your shoulders held up around your ears. Even if she'd just had an updo, I think that would have helped. There also was a little bit of a sense that the outfit was wearing her somehow? I dont know, it just wasn't quite right.

But her performance. She's a performer. She's a dancer. She was giving me Janet. She is one to watch this year. She came to play, she knows what she's doing, and I am so ready for it!

12. Tina Burner

We love a queen with a brand. Of all the entrance looks this year, I think hers was the smartest. I dont really know much about her, other than that she was in the cast, but when she walked in I was like "oh, that must be Tina Burner, she's got the firefighter look happening". Was it my favourite ever look? No, but it was well made, it fit her nicely, it didn't look like anything anyone else was wearing, and it told me exactly who she is; that's what you want from qn entrance look! She did it right.

Tina is also obviously used to sharing a stage with other people; she was perfectly comfortable in that lipsync. She didn't get in anyone's way, but she still knew how to pull focus and be centre stage, even is she wasn't literally centre stage. It was a great lipsync, she knows how to play this game, and I think she's definitely one to watch out for!

13. Utica Queen

I loooooooved Utica's entrance look! I love clashing patterns, over the top accessories, big hair, outfits that just shouldn't work but they really really do.

Unfortunately, I think that's where my love for Utica might run out. She has this cool fashion sense, and clearly a silly sense of humour, bit it felt like she was trying sooo hard to be ~quirky~ and it just came off annoying. Maybe that will improve, maybe I'm being really unfair and I just need to get to know her better, I just felt a bit like "okay babe, calm down".

Her lipsync was pretty good, but again, I feel like she was relying on silly & quirky. I dont know.

Overall, I'm a little bit disappointed in the first episode, I feel like we didn't get to see very much of the queens at all. Like, compare this to season 12; say what you want about season 12, but in the first episode(s) we got to see 5 looks from each queen, and song lyrics to tell us more about them. This episode, we got 1 look, a lipsync they weren't told about, and some chatting in the Pork Chop Loading Dock. I just think its a shame. This show is so invested in twists and turns that its forgotten that the queens are what makes this show special. I want to see them have fun and do well, not be totally defeated in episode 1!

[snowdice]

Gaps in His Files (Part 6) [Relabeled; Refiled Series]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan/Patton

Characters:

Main: Logan, Patton

Appear: Remy, Virgil (but only in the epilogue)

Summary:

Logan Berry has learned many things the last 10 years: a lot of math and physics, a bit of humility, and how to be a hero being just a few. Through his education, his experience teaching, and his exploits as the superhero Bluebird, he’s changed in a lot of small and large ways. He has recorded these changes in well-organized documents and files. He’s even had to create two new file designations: a red one for files about his moonlighting at Bluebird, and a light blue one dedicated to his boyfriend, Patton.

When Bluebird is targeted by a memory device and all of those 10 years of progress suddenly disappear, Patton Sanders and Logan’s extensive files are left as his only resource to get those memories back. But what is Patton supposed to do when there are clear gaps in his files? And what does he do when he is one of them?

This is set 25 years before Sometimes Labels Fail though it’s story is completely independent of it and it is not necessary to read that one first.

Notes: Superhero AU, memory loss, past child abuse, past child neglect, unhealthy ideas about ones place in relationships, emotional suppression, self-deprecating thoughts, medical procedures mentioned, very brief unhealthy views of sex

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

There are some *cough* illusions to sexy times in this one. Also Patton is um... not doing okay.

Patton said words that he’d usually scold Logan for using when, after the warning, Logan’s eyes fluttered closed and he toppled forward. Patton caught him around the waist. He sighed. “I really wish I had your powers right about now,” he groaned while eyeing the distance to the couch.

Patton was not a weak man, but Logan was not a light one. He managed to maneuver him onto the couch, though his feet dragged the entire way. Patton situated him with a pillow behind his head and then went into the kitchen to grab the quite extensive first aid kit Logan kept there.

A quick check up told Patton that there was nothing physically wrong with Logan baring a few scrapes from the fight. Which meant Patton’s usefulness was quickly dwindling.

He resisted kissing the man even just on the forehead because that would be bad and wrong when he didn’t know who Patton was to him. Instead, he contented himself with gently stroking his hair back into place and covering him with a blanket from the closet in the front hallway.

After that was done, he went to the kitchen. He braced himself against Logan’s refrigerator door and took a few deep breaths. He guessed it was an almost breakdown in Logan’s kitchen kind of day. When he was eventually able to wrestle control over himself, he calmly opened the refrigerator. There were leftovers from two nights before when Patton had tried his best to teach Logan how to cook chicken enchiladas. Logan had resisted the venture by attempting to distract him by any means necessary (mostly kissing and wandering hands). It had half worked, but they’d still ended up with something edible even if the kitchen had been a complete mess.

He could have just warmed them up, but he needed something to do that he could pretend was useful. He found some frozen cooked chicken and started thawing it in the microwave while he chopped up some vegetables from the refrigerator. He stir-fired the vegetables with some soy sauce and garlic and added the chicken to the pan at the end. With no idea how long it would take for Logan to wake, he dished out a portion for himself and placed the rest in the fridge.

Eating did nothing to fill the growing hole of numbness inside him, but at least he wasn’t hungry.

If this was his own apartment, he would have just left his bowl on the table and the pan in the sink, but it wasn’t his apartment, so he washed and dried them both and put them back where they belonged.

Then there was nothing else to do.

…

He went back to the living room. Logan seemed to be sleeping easy and showed no signs of waking up anytime soon. Patton sat down on the chair next to the couch.

He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew, Patton’s eyes were closed, and he could feel a presence hanging over him. “What?” he asked without opening his eyes.

“We are in a sexual relationship,” Logan’s voice informed him.

Patton blinked open his eyes to look at him. He was leaning a bit too far into Patton’s space than would normally be polite, boxing him in against the back of the chair. “How…?”

“You have a key to my apartment, are comfortable enough in my kitchen to not only cook but to put everything back into place perfectly, and I have a hickey on my inner thigh.”

Patton’s face went red immediately. “Oh my god.”

“It is not a difficult deduction,” Logan continued. “I do have to compliment you. It is quite a large mark, assuming of course, that was the intention.”

Patton hid his face in his hands. “Oh my god.”

“It’s interesting. I have never had any romantic inclinations that I can remember. Is it just sexual?”

“What? No!” Patton sputtered.

He hummed, eyes scanning Patton like he was trying to figure out how he worked or perhaps more like he was trying to figure out what aspects of Patton would serve to intrigue a future version of himself enough to give him the time of day.

Patton swallowed. “Could you, um, give me a little space now, you think?”

“Why?” he asked with a frown. “I’d imagine you’d be used to such closeness considering we have had sex.”

“Yes, and at the moment, you are mentally a high school student.” Patton reached up and pushed at his forehead with two fingers. He stared at Patton for a few moments without moving and then slowly stood back up. Patton pushed himself into a less reclined position. “How’re you feeling?” he asked.

“My head still aches though not nearly as bad as it did before and, other than the small injuries I observed you have tended too, my body feels fine.”

“That’s good,” Patton said. “Let’s get you something to eat, and then I’ll check you over a bit more thoroughly to make sure there isn’t something I missed.”

Logan agreed and Patton dished him out a serving of the stir fry he’d made earlier and popped it into the microwave. Patton checked the clock: 4:30 am. He’d slept for a while. “Want coffee?” Patton asked. He nodded. Good. Patton was pretty sure he himself was going to need it. He started the coffee machine and Logan continued to watch him intently as though he’d never seen anyone make coffee before (not true as Logan had confessed to sneaking coffee behind his parent’s backs at the age of 12.)

“Could you tell me what you know about my current self?” Logan asked when Patton set the two mugs of coffee down.

“Sure, but do you want to be more specific? I know quite a bit about you.”

“You said I am 28 and I can afford an apartment. Do I have a job?”

“Sort of,” Patton replied. “You’re in your last year of your math PhD program and they pay you to teach a couple of low-level classes.”

Logan nodded. It likely wasn’t a surprise to him as even at 18 he’d been planning to attend graduate school in either math or physics.

“What am I teaching?”

“Calculus at the moment. Two discussion sections a week. You’ve taught up to discussion sections for first year graduate level classes, but you went for an easier assignment in your last semester to work on your dissertation.”

“Yes, yes, that all seems to plan,” he mumbled more to himself than to Patton while tapping his formulating-a-question pattern on the tabletop with his fingers.

“I seem to have a superhero persona. You are at least aware of said persona. Do you know how or why that alias came into existence?”

“Bluebird,” Patton provided. Logan’s nose twitched, and Patton laughed a bit. “No. You didn’t pick it, but it grew on you. You created the persona when you were 22 and just starting your graduate program. You were taking a physics course and noticed some strange behavior from your least favorite professor. It turned out he’d snapped under the pressure when one of his TAs missed a final exam the semester before and started to build a dooms day device. You were originally more of a vigilante actually, but when he almost killed a bunch of people, you quickly ended up a hero to the city. You just kinda… didn’t stop.”

Logan considered this for a moment. “That does make sense,” he admitted and then looked back at Patton. “Give me a brief overview of my foes,” he demanded and then tacked on, “please.”

Patton allowed himself to be grilled about Bluebird all through Logan’s breakfast from his enemies and allies to the public’s perception of him to details about the ‘special car.’

“You know a lot about me,” Logan said finally. “You answered all of my questions easily.”

“Any question you can come up with has likely already been deemed important enough information for you to share with me at some point.”

Logan scrutinized him with narrowed eyes. “How do I organize my files for Bluebird’s ventures.”

“Red files, hidden in your office, organized by different file types, and then by date.”

“What type of fabric is Bluebird’s costume?”

“A 60/40 bamboo/cotton blend because of ease of cleaning, breathability, and texture reasons.”

Logan paused and thought long and hard. “What’s Bluebird’s favorite color?”

Patton rolled his eyes fondly. “That’s just a question about you silly.” Logan continued to peer at him. “HEX number 3673b9.”

Logan looked surprised. His eyes scanned Patton up and down. “How many people know I’m a superhero?”

“Oh, uh, just me,” Patton said quietly. “At least that’s what you told me. Well, I think Remy may have guessed. He was in the surgery when you accidently said my name in mask, and he knows you and I pretty well now so…”

“The surgery?”

“Oh,” Patton said. “Right. I’m a doctor. I never remember to tell you that…” Logan raised an eyebrow. “That’s how I figured out who you were,” he explained. “I hadn’t told you I was a doctor and when you were going under anesthesia after being hurt helping the city, you called me by name and asked why I was a doctor. It wasn’t a hard guess from there.”

Logan nodded, his eyes sparking with understanding like they did when he finally figured out a concept he’d been struggling with for days. “A doctor,” he commented idly. “A useful companion to have.” Patton felt himself flinch, but Logan didn’t seem to notice having looked away and down at his coffee. Dismissing Patton as simply useful.

Well at least he was honest.

Patton bit back his emotions carefully. Actually, perhaps this was a good thing: the memory loss. Well, not a good thing, but maybe an opportunity. Maybe without Logan having years of knowledge about Patton and preconceived ideas about how he had to interact with him, Patton could figure out what on Earth was wrong with him.

Want to read more? Click below!

AO3 Part 7

[arashikitten]

Danny Phantom things

Ok, so I love Danny Phantom with all my heart. Like, seriously it’s a great show, it should be way more popular than it is. However, there are some things that... irk me a bit, when it comes to some of the characters and how they were handled. Of course there’s the general complaint of “Danny Phantom should’ve been darker, it’s premise is literally about a 14 year old who halfway died in his parents basement!” And while I do agree that it could’ve been darker than it was, I don’t believe that making the show dark and gritty would’ve been a good idea. The reason that episodes like Reign Storm and The Ultimate Enemy stand out is because they are INCREDIBLY dark episodes surrounded by more lighthearted fluff. They provide a sudden gut punch of emotion and angst and, in the case of The Ultimate Enemy, a reminder that death is something that should be taken seriously in the show. Just because the main character gets powers from being dead doesn’t mean everyone else does. In that regard, I think the show does a good job.

That being said, I do have some issues with the characters and their interactions with other characters.

Let’s start with Valerie Gray. I quite honestly believe that she was a great love interest for Danny (I am a diehard GrayGhost shipper), much better than Sam was. They had some really good chemistry between each other, with Danny being the first person to really try to help her after she got kicked out of the A-listers, and Valerie being one of the first people outside of Sam and Tucker to not judge Danny for his parents.

On that note, why does the show always treat Danny’s parents like complete idiots? I mean, they built a PORTAL TO ANOTHER DIMENSION IN THEIR BASEMENT. IN THEIR BASEMENT. That’s ridiculous. That has to take a crazy level of genius to be able to build that with limited resources and money, while also taking care of two kids. I get that neither Jack nor Maddie have a lot of common sense or tact, but they are by no means stupid. Like yeah, they didn’t notice that their son was an actual ghost, but that doesn’t make them complete idiots. They just lack social awareness and deductive logic.

And then there’s the villains. While some, like Vlad and Dan are done very well, I think that some of the others could stand to be better developed, or just. Have more screen time? Instead of it just being Skulker all the time? Like, where’s Ember? What about Poindexter? Or even, like, Pariah Dark! I would’ve loved to see him come back! And then, there’s Dan. We got that one sort of tease in end of The Ultimate Enemy, and then we never see him again! I think THAT would’ve been a much better series finale than Phantom Planet, Dan just coming back, realizing he’s no longer in the timeline and therefore won’t be affected if he kills Danny, Dan taking out Clockwork with ease to show that yea, this is some serious shit.

And then Dan shows up at Vlad Masters doorstep, with Vlad barely making it out alive. Danny is at home, and is worrying about telling his parents due to Jazz’s insistence that them knowing he’s phantom won’t make them hate him, that it’ll improve their relationship, that Danny needs to relieve himself of all that stress, that he should tell them to just get it off his chest.

And then Vlad shows up, battered and beaten on Danny’s doorstep. Usually, Danny would be suspicious, but then Vlad describes a ghost with a white cape and flaming white hair and that insignia on his chest, and Danny knows. And he’s terrified, because Dan’s back, Clockwork was supposed to stop that from happening, did Dan defeat Clockwork somehow?

So Danny decides to help Vlad, and Jack and Maddie show up and freak out about Vlad while Danny has a silent breakdown. The only ones who notice are Jazz and Vlad. The only one who knows why is Jazz. Jazz now redoubles her efforts to get Danny to talk, who is now even more adamant about not telling Jack and Maddie about him being phantom. Because then he’d have to tell them about Dan, and Danny doesn’t know if he’ll be able to handle his parents being afraid of him. Of what he might become.

And then Dan shows up.

All hell breaks loose as Danny has to fight for his life, for his future, against a ghost he knows is so much more powerful than him. Danny is trying, desperately trying, to keep Sam and Tucker and Jazz and his parents as far away from the fight as possible. This is his problem. He won’t let anyone get hurt trying to fix it.

Meanwhile, Vlad is on the sidelines, still recovering from his run in with Dan. He’s close enough to see the fight between Danny and Dan, but far enough away so that he won’t get hurt.

And that’s when he realizes.

The Costume, the ghostly wail, the stylized D on this strange ghosts chest. The name. Danny’s panic attack when Vlad described him. The sheer, raw terror that now lights up Phantom’s eyes, that Vlad has only ever glimpsed. Clockworks disappearance.

That’s Danny. Danny is fighting a future version of himself. Danny, that scrawny teenager who gets d’s and c’s in all his classes, who is barely 5 foot 3, who is still a child

Is fighting for the lives of his family, his friends, even his enemy.

Fighting against a ghost who took out Clockwork, a ghost who destroyed Vlad without breaking a sweat.

And he’s holding his own. This skinny teen, who Vlad has firmly believed was nothing more than a nuisance, was fighting against his future, against his fate, all by himself.

And that is the moment that Vlad realises that Danny is far stronger than he believed. That if Danny were to actually fight him one on one, no schemes or interference, Danny would kick his ass.

[agl03]

“Inescapable” Promo Breakdown

Yay Baby!  Mind Prison for the win!  AKA theories I will regret having about 7:15 pm next Friday.  I have also put the promo pics in here because it’s full of goodies too. 

Finally!!!  Yes, it’s in the Mind Prison but they are finally in the same dang room so I will take it!  I won’t be surprised if Atarah keeps running them through different scenarios to get what she wants or escalating the danger.  The failures lead them back to the beginning so we could see this reunion a few times.  And Jemma said as long as she is with him it doesn’t matter if they get out.

Ah, yes the long-awaited pre-bus flashbacks.  Now it’s important to remember that in another trailer for the Season we see Nightmare Jemma pushing Fitz there through a window/door and they go from that place to the Zephyr and the outfit Fitz is wearing in the Mind Prison.

I have a feeling that Nightmare Jemma is going to be like one of those horror movie serial killers that keeps popping up at the absolute worst times.  Here she’s showing up in what is either Young Jemma’s or Fitzsimmons’s Daughter’s room.   And the mashup of costumes continues, you can see some of Jemma’s servator make up on her forehead.  

Yay!  They are holding hands.  And yes I’m well aware The Doctor is stalking towards them.  He’s going to be like the horror movie killer too and popping up at crappy times.

“Couldn’t take a trip into the shadows without me” is an interesting line.  The Shadow is how Hunter referred to the Doctor when he was consoling Fitz.  It makes me wonder if Atarah has forced them to tap into this, she did it herself with her tech, or if one of them Suggests it as it gets worse and worse.

I HAVE CONCERNS!  Nightmare Jemma has Fitz strung up on the Zephyr and he looks terrified.  I’ve also noitced there is no sign of Jemma on the Zephyr, so I am worried that The Doctor has her or Jemma is desperately trying to get to him again.

There is how they are in Mind Prison.  Not sure if inside they are actually working on it or the tech is somehow pulling the solution from their subconscious as they are continually forced to watch each other in danger.  Enoch is watching over them and I do think that he will come through in the end and help Fitzsimmons escape when the time comes, siding with his Bestie and not his crazy ex (thanks for making me explain that to my kid AOS).

Jemma’s eyes are open meaning this could be as she is being put in, and she still isn’t fighting, meaning she could still be going willingly to get to Fitz.

Atarah laying it all out and likely explaining how it all works and what is about to happen.  We do have that show from a previous promo with Fitz holding his hand out so he could be trying to protect Jemma....or he gets his own villain speech.

Dude this is not Bohemian Rapsody you turn that down right now!   I’m going with this is the make it worse controller....or Enoch helping to bust them out.

Jemma reacting to the not so fun stuff inside.

See above.  

Now something that wouldn’t surprise me is if Nightmare Jemma is just trying to keep Fitz for herself as what she is wearing represents times that Jemma has lost him.  So that might even mean keeping him from herself.

This adorable little girl is either a young Jemma or Fitzsimmons future daughter.  I see her possibly being young Jemma since she is wearing the same sweater Jemma is.  This also looks to be when Fitz first arrives as that headboard thing is shifting into place like a scene.  Also, note The monkey on the end of the bed and telescope.

The book is titled “The Prince in the Stars” (fic writers have at it).  Fitz is very clearly there in the center but if you look under Fitz’s hand, you’ll see a Jemma in what could be her FZZT outfit looking up at him.

Adorable little girl telling FItz the prince there is him.

“Once upon a time, there was a prince,” and we can see Space Prince Fitz sitting sadly on top of a purple planet.

Happy cute fun times are over, now we get to play like a scene from the Ring.  If that little girl is a young Jemma, I wonder if something happens to make her ‘grow up’ quickly.  Or if she joins the scene.  What is also interesting is that looks like a closet door that is open next to her with the main door to the room behind Fitz.

The picture behind Fitz also looks to be a Dragonfly, which represents Change, transformation, adaptability, and self realization.  Tied to mental and emotional maturity and understanding a deeper meaning of life.

Still with me?  If so we are down to random thoughts/predictions/early theories.  

So far we’ve seen Daisy (maybe) and Coulson in the Mind Prison so we could see the rest of the core cast scattered around as things play out.  

I really do think that Enoch will come through for his bestie and will help them escape in truly epic fashion. 

Leaving a very mad and very dangerous Atarah in their wake IE she will be back!  And If she didn’t get what she needed from Fitzsimmons she’ll go after them again.

If the writers need to work in a good time jump this is where they will do it.  Meaning they can keep Fitzsimmons trapped in there for a long time.  

I’m still sticking to my bold prediction.

Okay feel free to send asks in and as always more will come to me as the week goes on.

[hell-heron]

Romeo and Juliet - Globe production 2009

So, as I think every Shakespeare person on this site, I've spent the past few days rewatching my favorite parts of this over and over again, but only now I've decided to talk about it a lot more in depth and watch all of it. So, did I like it? Yeah, I have to say I expected to like it more because the clips I had been able to watch a while ago were mostly featuring Ellie Kendrick's Juliet's solo scenes which are imho the highlight of the production.

The only comment on this I read from someone whose opinion I trust mentioned there is a lack of chemistry between the titular characters and thst the romance comes off as kind of too childish and silly. Now, it's probably because my opinion of the ideal chemistry is quite less sexually charged than most people, but I only partly agree with this. For example, the lark scene was definitely underwhelming (tho I liked the little preamble where Romeo stares, obviously scared, out of the window and Juliet reaches him as the chorus sings) and the courtship sonnet just average, but the balcony was exceptionally good, Zeffirelli levels even, a perfect balance of flirty humor, passion, tenderness and enthusiasm, also helped by the fact both actors decided this was the moment to be a bit more natural in their acting and drop the... Comedical conceit? I'm gonna elaborate a bit more on this later, but anyway it was very good. There is definitely some tonal issue with the romance, but imho it's more due to the overall inability of almost anyone in this cast to play in a tragedy than romantic chemistry: these kids would have played Beatrice and Benedick just fine.

It's very clear that the director's intent in this was to highlight this play's overlooked comedic influence and, while I appreciate it... Eh it's a bit of a mixed bag. I like highlighting the humor and snark that is already present, especially the two lovers', I kinda enjoy the comedic servant character, some scenes were done in a really nice and original way, but unfortunately it also means everything after the duel falls really emotionally flat. The deaths in particular were hard to watch. I also think Tybalt was underused in this sense and was way too serious (sooo sad because the actor is really pretty and seems good tho he was given fuck all to do) while Paris should have been less comedic, given that the fact this doesn't cut the sexual-harrassment-in-church-scene (THANK GOD) makes him REALLY sleazy and a legitimate threat for Juliet. Though I love the scene where the Capulet's have to basically passively aggressively kick him out of the house.

Another noteworthy point is that the script cuts almost nothing, a few scenes are shortened but all are present. Personally I find this great as I am a big fan of a lot of scenes that are often unappreciated and cut - the aforementioned conversation between Paris and Juliet, the scene were Juliet complains about the nurse being late, a few Bencutio-inclined scenes etc. However they really could have used to skip a few purely comedic scenes involving the servants, and the prologues, seriously? The prologues in the year of our lord 2009?

There's also a little added bickering between Lord and Lady C about whether to have the wedding on Thursday or Wednesday to make fun of Shakespeare fucking up the timeline, which is obviously awkward and unnecessarily but lord do I respect the principle.

The costumes are good, imho, a bit plain/stiff in some cases. In particular I'd like to know what possessed them to have gray as Juliet's main color. But for the rest they look nice, especially Lady C's, Nurse's and the young men. I also appreciate that Juliet wears blue and Romeo red for the wedding, it's really pretty and symbolic, and that there's a difference made clear between everyday clothes and the nice ones for the party or the wedding for Romeo too. I also love his ball headdress of twigs and feathers, very cute and fairylike.

Now - the characterization. As I mentioned I was extremely pleasantly surprised by Ellie Kendrick's Juliet. She's the first actress that I think captures Juliet's snark and feeling of like... Overwhelming urgency and intensity. When she says on the balcony that she's incapable of being as coy and poised and careful with her feelings as other girls, it's believable, when she complains about old people being slow and acting like they're already dead compared to her warm youthful blood and passion, it's... A bit mean as teenage girls will be, but believable. One thing I love about Juliet how Shakespeare wrote is that she has a lot of these little character touches that set her apart from a Stock Romantic Maiden and she really makes it shine more than any other actress. My issue is that her portrayal changes very little through the play: in some cases it works well even in heavier scenes (for example the conversation with Paris and then with Friar Lawrence has such fervor and bitterness to it, I love her little snarky huff when FL doubts she will have the courage to go through with her plans) in other it really doesn't. The poison speech is really, really jarring, I know her speeding up like crazy is meant to convey anxiety but she doesn't really make it come across imho, and she shows almost no emotion in her death. Points added for the Gallop apace fiery footed steeds speech tho, it's really charming and mischievous ad I loved it. She also does surprisingly well with the reaction to Romeo's banishment despite not being usually good with sad scenes

Now, Romeo... Romeo seemed really mediocre to me from the clips and then he grew on me, but he's quite strange. In most of his scenes he seems... Uhm, too dramatic? Too conscious of the fact he's acting? Which I don't know if it's meant to be reflective of Romeo's personality or simply the actor's style. I could appreciate it as a characterization choice if he started acting more naturally after meeting Juliet and dropping his Unrequited Love Angst (which he does for a while), but then for some reason he goes back to it, to the point where the duel with Paris and his death is the worst offender. So it's really unclear what he's doing. His best scenes are definitely the balcony, the conversation with Friar Lawrence (such genuine affection and complicity! This production does GREAT at establishing the kids' relationships with their surrogate parents, I wish it was more common) and his conversation with the nurse, which coincidentally are those where he acts more natural. In these scenes, he comes off as really sweet, enthusiastic and outgoing but a bit awkward. Real quality facial expressions. Again, feels believable when Mercutio says "now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo!". I have a ridiculous soft spot for the moment where he tries to make the "Young Romeo will be older when you find him than he was when you sought him out" joke and it falls completely flat and Nurse just stares at him weirdly.

Overall I appreciate the intent of the actors to give the lovers more of an individual personality than usual, but they take it too far and don't drop it at the appropriate moment

Now, for the secondary cast. Nurse is great, one of the best in the cast for ability to play both comedy and tragedy I think, I liked Lady C's characterization, more bumbling/distressed/trying and failing to parent emotionally inept mom than the usual Slutty Wine Mom which is starting to honestly bore me, Friar Lawrence is really cute and I love they gave him his speech about flowers. The prince is completely forgettable, Lord C a bit too bumbling to be intimidating imho, the Montague nonexistent. I already talked about my issues with Paris

Passing to the boys people actually care about here:

- Tybalt unfortunately doesn't offer much to like. He's very serious and poised and mhh just lacks feral energy. His scene with Lord Capulet is good but the fights are nothing special. He gets slapped by Lord C also :/

- Benvolio is cute! He gets a bit more frat-boyish characterization which is nice after all these tiring nerdy cinnamon roll too pure for this world portrayals, and he's very distinctive from Romeo. I think there's also great Bencutio chemistry here, they had some great scenes in the one after the ball where they look for Romeo together and the "more than prince of cats scenes". The first in particular, featuring the drunk boys trying and failing to make rhymes to conjure Romeo, is one of the better accomplished comedic scenes. Unfortunately there's not as much mileage to take from the "Thou art as hot in thy mood as any Jack in Italy" conversation, he doesn't get mad about it :/. For the rest I like his part in the opening fight and his anger at Romeo in the post-duel scene. Also he's green-coded which is nice

- Mercutio... Agh. So there's a similar problem here as with the lovers, acts great in more light toned, underrated scenes but the main ones are somewhat underwhelming. All the Montacrew conversations are delightful, he's very expressive in his gestures. The aforementioned Bencutio scenes are great and so is the one with the nurse, tho I wish he didn't kiss her, it's not really necessary to resort to sexual harassment to show him as an annoying dick. However there are some points where he comes off WAY more bitter than necessary at Romeo's romantic exploits and ??? People are aware you don't HAVE TO code him as in unrequited love with Romeo if you don't intend to do anything with it, are they? (tho they do have a very cute scene where they lie on the ground together and snuggle as they banter) However, the queen Mab speech and the duel, which are the most important, fall very flat. He can't make up his mind on whether the queen Mab speech is a breakdown or just a ramble to show off his wit, and the Montague boys definitely react like it's the latter. He shows some very nice anger in the "I talk of dreams" bit tho. Overall it's weird and seems boring, too long

I need to have a full paragraph to talk about the duel because it's imho one of the most botched scenes. It's overpowered by the drums, confusing and chaotic not in a good way. Tybalt doesn't seem very interested in fighting Mercutio, nor the other way around, Tybalt seems actually almost uneasy and like he accepted because he was embarrassed to refuse. However this doesn't reflect in the actual fight, which is very violent where this would make me expect a Zeffirelli-like, playful and dramatic duel that goes tragically wrong. Mercutio's death is fairly cold, save for the plague o'er both your houses line which is always awesome, and maybe i influenced by the musical but there's a strong lack of reaction and affection from the Montague boys, they don't touch or hug or even like... Cry or anything. I do like Romeo and Tybalt's duel, in particularly the fact it's mainly a fistfight, to emphasize how much rawer and realer it is than the first one - tho again, because the first one is more violent than warranted the contrast loses a little in strength. There's also no emotion or reaction whatsoever from Tybalt at any point which is a little weird given how this started.

Romeo's reaction is also not great. He's mainly angry, although understandably, doesn't seem to feel guilty or sad at all about either Tybalt or Mercutio. He also repeatedly punches Tybalt's corpse, which... This coupled with the fact they keep him killing Paris, but not the scene where he talks to Tybalt's corpse in the crypt is a little weird. I know some people like to play Romeo's arc as a descent into darkness with him losing his principles and natural gentleness as he's pushed off the deep end, and I'm not necessarily opposed to it, but I don't think anyone involved in this has the capability to handle that well, so it just seems strange and out of character.

He does break down a little in the following scene with Friar Lawrence, but still he doesn't seen particularly mad about anything but his banishment. I do love how he emphasize his feeling of betrayal from his One Trusted Adult tho.

So, overall I really like this. Great cast, some wonderful ideas, very vivid and fun to see. I just wish they could have balanced tragedy and comedy better because literally all the issues come from there

[zukadiary]

Hoshigumi Small Theaters ~ Spring 2019

I am five entire shows behind on reviews and I hate it!!

But I finally make it to Kansai!! I conveniently managed to see these guys on back to back days upstairs and downstairs in the same building. If nothing else I think I am 500% more educated on Hoshigumi after this trip.

Man from Algiers / Estrellas 2.0

Man from Algiers ticks all the National Tour buttons—old, done many times, ambiguous time period (useful for traveling costume recycling, i.e. why not just use the rainbow sports jackets we need for Estrellas anyway!)—and while I’m not surprised that Coto can make just about anything good, I was a bit surprised at how much I enjoyed the show itself (this was the first time I’d seen it at all, which was a blessing as the surprise ending was my favorite part). 

I can definitely envision it in all its original 70s glory, and it made me wonder if they really just wanted to exploit a West Side Story aesthetic’s swoon-inducing abilities and came up with the plot later; the opening looks and choreography were awfully familiar. Am I saying it didn’t work?

No I am not saying that.

(And the resulting prologue number was really cool).

The story, while dated, was simple and easy to follow, and does a great job of making sure you understand each character’s motivation with minimal info (difficult AND clutch for one-acts). There’s a good summary on the wiki, I’m including spoilers not mentioned there.

Team National Tour is definitely the lighter side of the troupe split, especially with regard to upperclassmen, but I thought Algiers was a good fit for this particular arrangement of members, and everyone really nailed their characters. Most notable: 

Julien is a despicable person, and it’s a testament to Coto’s pure heart and brimming talent that she made him a totally valid protagonist, complete with moments that made my heart lurch a little (when his old friends are bullying him in his cute little chauffeur outfit; how quickly he abandons everything to stand by Sabine when everything goes to hell at the end). 

It was very weird first not to see Aichan in Ocean’s and then to see her hanging out with a percentage of Hoshigumi, but this cast needed her. Her Jacques (albeit very reminiscent of her Bernardo) was a good balance for Coto; they both played unsavory people, but Aichan playing bad has kind of a darker streak that suits the more evil friend well, whereas Coto playing bad still has an undercurrent of goodness that gets you fully on board with his journey to reform.

Otoha Minori as Sabine was a good choice not only for her abs in the gold night club bikini dress, but for her maturity, which lended sincerity to Sabine’s fantasy-level selflessness in her concern for Julien and her desire to watch over him. When she shoots Jacques in her dressing room to get him out of the way so he can’t interfere with Julien’s new life, I was so impressed that it read as an act of sacrifice (however excessive and stupid) purely out of love and desire to see Julien continue to grow and succeed, instead of “look at what I did for you, come back to me!”

Asamizu Ryou played Bollinger, the dude who takes Julien in and grooms him for upper-crust success, opposite not just Coto (her senpai) but Shirotae Natsu (her mega-senpai), and she did it with a surprising amount of gravitas. She’s got that face which definitely helps, but she was a little scary and exuded a lot of authority. Shirotae Natsu was hilarious as the extraordinarily airheaded wife, and her interjections may have even been singlehandedly responsible for keeping the pacing of the show brisk and entertaining. 

Sakuraba Mai played the Bollingers’ daughter Elizabeth. She was detestable, but in the way that indicates a great acting job. She’s at that awkward spot where it looks like she’s getting almost heroine weight roles in small theaters and disappearing in grand theaters. I hope they keep pushing her because she’s very strong.

Number one heartbreaker Kozakura Honoka (voice of an angel!) played blind Annabel, daughter of Kumichou/a very influential duchess. She mostly stays inside alone, and then Julien woos her with the intention of climbing the social/political ladder (while developing feelings for Elizabeth and also really never getting over Sabine). Annabel overhears Julien confessing his feelings to Elizabeth and asks her attendant Andre (Kiwami Shin, in love with Annabel) to let her kill herself. Honoka apparently put an immense amount of time and research into acting blind and it showed. 

Fellow American Sayaka Rin had probably the most lines she’s had yet, in a role formerly held by both Takashio Tomoe and Hyuuga Kaoru <3 

My personal MVPs of this show were Shidou Ryuu and Kiwami Shin, Shidou not even for doing anything particularly spectacular, but just just for having grown so much since I first became aware of her existence via the Koumori shinko 3+ years ago. She’s always going to be on the cute side rather than the devastating side IMO, but she’s developed enough confidence and control in her acting that she’s become a really lovable best friend/brother type; her character’s relationship with Julien and secret-but-obvious admiration of his far superior coolness was really adorable. Andre (Shin) isn’t a super juicy role until the very end, but the way Shin did Andre’s quiet breakdown when Annabel was explaining she didn’t want to live anymore, and then her poise when Andre came out of nowhere and shot Julien just as he and Sabine were trying to run away from shooting Jacques (?!??!) was like, my jaw actually dropped. Granted she’s still super young, but Shin isn’t someone who has thus far impressed me proportionately to the amount they’re pushing her, so this mini breakout was nice to see. 

Estrellas (a revue that I loved!), like all tour revues with less than half the cast and no staircase, felt quite small, at least from the B-seki side box. But in the smallness, normally unseen people get to shine, and there were moments that had me bouncing in my chair. Amato Kanon is going to grow up dangerous (if Tennis Daughter doesn’t just consume all the otokoyaku below 98th); in the opening with everyone else beaming she was smoldering. Aichan and Anru took Kai’s medley (with different songs) and made it a very cute douki thing. Sazanami Reira needs to dance closer to the front more often. Ruri Hanaka (who, bless her heart, cannot sing, at least not like a musumeyaku) somehow snagged Airi’s part in Tonight is What it Means to be Young, and despite the singing, absolutely killed it; that girl can DANCE and she’s got sass and arm muscles for days and a look in her eye like she’ll superglue you to your makeup table if you cross her. 

And boy, Coto looks good in that top position. The talent is really stupid, but on top of that she has such warmth. I’m really excited for her Hoshigumi.

Kamatari

Kamatari accomplished a feat, because admittedly I went in having already biased myself against it; I thought Beni and Airi getting a weird nihonmono for their last small theater was dumb and just about as NOT THEM as you can get.

But I take it back! It was lovely!

For starters it was visually stunning, which feels like the thing you say when you’re trying to convince yourself that you liked a nihonmono you didn’t actually understand a word of... but in this case, it really was just a bonus. The story (summary here) is not actually all that complicated, and the dialogue was even on the friendly side for nihonmono—no weird dialects (beyond what it always takes to decipher Beni), no 12th level keigo. 

Act 1 introduces Kamatari (Beni) and Soga no Iruka (Hanagata Hikaru) meeting as youths in school and developing a friendship, and then takes us, as far as I can tell, fairly historically accurately through the events leading up to and including the Isshi Incident. Act 2 was a little harder for me to follow; but it seems to be just a progression of Kamatari’s struggles living under the new post-incident emperor Naka no Oe (Seocchi), with whom he’d conspired to eliminate Soga no Iruka, and the former empress/Naka no Oe’s mother (Kuracchi), who wants to see Kamatari suffer, because she both loved Iruka and couldn’t side against her son. 

Most of the roles were pretty small so there are fewer standouts, but here they are:

This was the third in a progression of Hoshi shows I saw live (the other two being Another World and Elbe) that really helped cement my respect for Beni and Airi’s brand of chemistry. At the beginning of her top run, I was skeptical about Beni’s ability to generate romantic chemistry with anyone at all (Scarlet Pimpernel didn’t really help me with that, and I haven’t seen anything between that and Another World). They definitely don’t have sizzling hot chemistry, and they don’t have that cute newlywed chemistry either, but I noticed watching Kamatari that in the last few Hoshi things I’ve seen, I’ve found it very easy to believe how deeply Beni loves Airi in whatever world they’re portraying. They have like, comfortable old married couple chemistry (yes, even when they’re playing love at first sight). Their moments in Kamatari were very tender, but in a wholesome “aw, she cooked for him” kind of way. Yoshiko (Airi) also had a lovely part at the end, where the two of them are old, and Kamatari’s health is failing, and they go back to the spot where they met, and she says their life wasn’t always easy, and they suffered, and they struggled, but in the end she can honestly say she had fun, and she’s truly happy. I teared up! It was sweet and meta! That alone convinced me it wasn’t a bad last small theater for them.

Hanagata Hikaru was SO much the star of Act 1 that it had me wondering if this was gonna turn out to be HER taidan present (but then she died and didn’t appear in Act 2 at all). I can’t complain because she kicked ass. I feel like I said this exact thing re: Another World, but Mitsuru is normally about as vanilla as it gets for me, but she blew me away. The pompous genius school kid to the idealistic young man to the uncertainty that comes with the reality of seizing power to the change to tyranny mixed with love for the empress and complicated feelings for his childhood friend all flowed seamlessly.

Not that I’ve watched a ton of Hoshi recently, but this was the best role Tenju Mitsuki has gotten in GOD I can’t even remember how long. Esaka is in service of the (state? empire?) as a historical record keeper, and serves kind of as a narrator as well (along with Itsuki Chihiro). I don’t even know how to describe how she characterized him... he’s odd? Maybe a little off? Regardless, she was brilliant. Watch it.

Arisa Hitomi has that empress energy for sure. I read up on the history of the events afterwards, and the explanation of why she had to give up the throne after witnessing such violence (the idea back then that an empress couldn’t be sullied by such things), and that made the sensitivity with which Kuracchi portrayed her feel even more poignant the more I sat with it afterwards.

This was the first show where to me Seocchi felt like she belonged up there with Beni and Mitsuru. She definitely put some weight behind Naka no Oe and was very princely. NOW I wanna see her tackle a more interesting/challenging (and tbh more Hoshigumi) role from up in this spot. 

All in all now I’m a little sad I won’t be around for God of Stars.

[calvin-af-crone]

Giant Deconstructed

This video is quite simply an artistic masterpiece on multiple levels. If you haven’t yet, I urge you to view the video in expanded view on a big monitor to get the full effect. Most viewers immediately feel emotionally affected & recognize its greatness w/o understanding why or how they’ve been affected. Allow me to break it down for you. Understanding how Emil Nava’s magic tricks are done should heighten instead of diminishing your appreciation.  

On a meta-narrative level, the story being illustrated is a classic Hero’s Journey. A boy suffers despair over his sickly mother. A mysterious deity summons him into a magical realm. By determination & perseverance, he confronts his personal deity & receives spiritual wisdom. Then by the power of music & dance, he attains his inner strength. This is essentially the narrative told by the lyrics of the song & the music builds to a emotional peak before shifting into a potent primitive chant ending w/ triumphant affirmations.

One of Nava’s favorite visual tricks is subliminal messaging. These visual affects flash an image at the viewer so quickly the effect of the image slips beneath conscious awareness & triggers a subconscious emotional response or unconscious reflex. Diabolical subliminals last less than a fraction of a second. The viewer is entirely unaware of receiving them & these can be regarded as an attempt at mind control. Putting them in commercials is actually illegal. 

Nava’s subliminals last almost a full second. You do see them but aren’t given enough time to consciously figure out what you’ve seen. However, your subconscious definitely does see the content of the image & responds emotionally. Sometimes, he aims deeper & sets off an unconscious instinctive reflex. All of these flash edits are benignly intended to heighten your experience during the video & subtly manipulate your emotions. On a practical level, the feeling that you’ve missed something tends to generate a million views in a day. 

Nava also heavily uses symbolism to sneak resonant ideas into your viewing experience. I’ll deal w/ examples as they arise in the breakdown. But, let’s start w/ the surface imagery & what it shows our consciously aware minds. Nava quickly establishes a real life scenario that most viewers immediately understand. A boy living w/ his dysfunctional mother suffers the burden of responsibility all children feel for a sickly parent. He’s going thru his ordinary life carrying a weight of despair. The scenes are cast in shrouded dismal tones of blue & gray like the boy’s outlook on life. He’s even dressed in blue—a color symbolically associated w/ sadness.

Then we’re only 9 seconds into the video when Nava hits us w/ a what-the-fuck-was-that flash of red expertly timed to hit simultaneously w/ the strike of a sharply high-pitched chord. That timing is another layer of perfection thru-out this short film. Every action is synchronized like in a ballet to land w/ the beat, flow on the bass line, or enforce primary chords in the music. 

I had to adjust the brightness of the image to identify feet dancing in mud puddles. Red symbolizes passion & energy. Consciously, we see the red flash as a burst of energy & hope. Unconsciously, we’re getting a flash forward & are being prepared for Dance Music to literally change the boy’s life.

The next red flash forward hits at the 0:25 mark, shows rave dancers, & lasts long enough to actually be perceived unless you blink & miss it. 

On the surface, we see the boy looking at a photograph of a plant & that’s overt foreshadowing. Then at 0:33 thru 0:37, we’re hit w/ a major scene shift at the very moment Rag’n’BoneMan first declares, “I am a giant!”

In sharp contrast to the boy’s life, we’re transported to an idyllic lake in a misty forest & see a figure dressed in sun yellow standing in a boat. Bright pure yellow symbolizes the sun. Consciously you think “oh, there’s Calvin”. Subconsiocusly you recognize a solar deity. This scene shift establishes an alternate location in the narrative.

Then we’re back to scenes of the boy’s dismal & at 0:43, we’re back at the lake & stay for an 2 entire seconds, long enough to watch birds flying from left to right over the left shoulder of the figure in yellow. 

Back w/ the boy, we see more scenes of his unhappiness & note his mother’s problem is drug addiction or she’s chronically ill & requires medication. He is shown sitting morosely on the back of a park bench & Nava pulls off a lovely example of symbolic visual echoing. The birds that flew in the scene at the lake seem to arrive from left to right over the left shoulder of the boy & land in front of him. You can see this clearly in the video but its impossible to see in this still.

Go watch the video again because one second after being visited by the birds at 0:51, the boy is motivated to move w/ a sense of purpose. We get quick scenes from home w/ his mother now bathed in a warm, hopeful glow interspersed w/ action scenes as he goes thru a gate & starts running. His face shows determination. He is not running away from his problems. He is running towards... something. Just when we start to wonder, “where’s he going,” the scenes quickly cut back & forth between the man in the boat & the boy’s effort.

From 1:17 thru 1:21, there’s a scene at the lake that made me bark out a laugh the first time I saw it. Up until this moment the narrative has been rooted in reality. Now it’s surreal! If you missed the clue of the birds being sent to summon the boy, if you thought the man in the boat was only DJ Calvin Harris, this scene ought to startle you. Fish leap out of the lake in response to a god of Nature!

At 1:21 thru 1:28, the camera pans over & into a forest. We see a doe lift her head at a sound & the boy is seen running as fast as he can into a misty magical realm. There is nothing real about this! The boy could not have run far enough to leave a city & enter a real forest. It’s physically impossible, even for someone in good shape, to continue running a peak speed for miles.

Again the narrative shifts back & forth between the god & the running boy. The god takes off his yellow jacket to dig up a potato. The boy keeps running. The god is gathering herbs & mushrooms, suddenly dressed like Prince Harry on a Nature ramble. What could be more magical than that? LOL! During the video, the unidentified deity goes thru five elegant costume changes. He’s not some hobo in the woods or a wild nature god like Pan. He looks like a British lord...

At 1:44, we are confronted by five riders on horseback coming straight at us & most viewers will feel deep emotion in response, maybe even a tiny surge of fear. Let’s pause for a moment to consider Nava’s peculiar affection for images of riders on horseback. He drops these symbols w/o any logical reason into videos every chance he gets to give viewers a cheap surge of vicarious exhilaration. Symbolically, seeing a person riding a galloping horse represents Power & Freedom. It is both a symbol of the human will triumphing over Nature & conversely the union of a horse & rider represent harmony with Nature.  

In the same way no one taught you to leap away from the sound of a hissing snake, you have an instinctive reflex to seeing riders on horseback, especially if they are riding towards you. Aboriginal humans reverently made cave paintings of horses 25,000 years ago. Deeper than cultural symbolism, our response to riders on horseback is hardwired into our brains. This time—bless his heart—Nava staged a video that uses horseback riders for maximum effect to whip up anxiety & awe along w/ the music’s turbulence.

I probably don’t need to explain the symbolism of the riders wearing exercise togs exactly like the boy’s, except in red. Blue symbolizes water & sadness. Red is the color of fire & energy. These are the minions of the solar deity, elemental spirits like flames in the mist, & they come galloping like an opposing army. But we only have a few seconds of dread before we glimpse a rider in the mists going in the same direction as the running boy. In later scenes, it becomes clearer they are escorting or herding him towards his destination. 

After these quick action cuts, at 1:53 we arrive at a static scene.

Your subconscious mind is fully capable of counting 12 passive creatures dressed in red & realizes the magical significance of the boy in blue adding up to 13 pairs of sneakers on the ground. 

From 1:59 to 2:04, we are reminded of where the boy came from & at 2:05 we are reminded of his destination—the elegantly dressed deity. There are more frantic scenes of riders and the running boy between scenes from home, now glowing w/ yellow light then red-lit as the boy dances in his room. Did the kid even leave home? Is he tripping out in his room? Does it matter? I say it doesn’t because the effect on him will be the same.

There are more quick cuts between galloping & running interspersed w/ scenes starting at 2:28 of the deity by a campfire in the forest, preparing a feast for his guest. At 2:39, the five riders come out of the mists directly at us triggers another surge of dread. Supernatural pairs of eyes glow in the darkness behind them. This ominous visual moment is perfectly timed to coincide w/ the music shifting into a guttural tribal chant. The first time I heard the song I thought this part of it sounded like a primitive pagan ritual & the lyric was an incantation to disperse negativity.

Apparently the song gave Nava the same visual because here we are at 2:46 w/ the boy in a forest clearing in the dark of night w/ red-clad nature devas standing like flames. The five riders might represent the five sacred elements—earth, water, fire, air, & spirit. Over all this imagery, the music spins a potent magical spell. Rag‘n’BoneMan stands at the center of a circle of hay bales looking like a modern day skinhead shaman. Lightning flashes in the sky like supernatural energies are being aroused. At 2:49 for less than a second, an owl—symbol of wisdom—is shown on a tree branch. The horseback riders start circling the boy & fire spirits where they stand immobile. 

For one second at 2:53, we get a subliminal of the deity—now wearing a garment stripped in blue, red & the purple of royalty—standing still beside a black stallion. Then for less than a second a red-hooded skull-like face impacts our subconsciousness before the boy stomps his foot on the ground at 2:55 when the compulsion to dance overcomes him. 

To leaven the tension, Nava unfurls a Scottish flag for amusement as the boy’s dancing becomes positively demon-possessed. One second, he’s in the circle at night, the next second he’s in his room at home, & the next, he’s dancing in the day-lit forest. The imagery flows on w/ exhilarating & dizzying speed. 

After another rabble-rousing wave of the Scottish flag, the action freezes at 3:11 in a tension-inducing static shot—the boy in blue faces off a girl in red w/ her cohort standing by & it’s raining! Emotion is literally drenching the scene! A subliminal of the boy’s mother & her medications flashes by then one second each of the boy looking thru flames & the deity solemnly regarding him. These two moments symbolize the transfer of power from the god to the boy.

It’s a relief when everyone starts dancing in the rain and stomping in mud puddles at 3:19. There are more quick cuts back & forth to the boy dancing in his room, the stand off w/ the girl as a lightning flash divides the sky, & the rave in full revel. A subliminal second of the boy & girl standing closer then another of him dancing in his room.

And we are suddenly transported back to the scene of the deity standing beside his horse for a full 2 seconds to absorb the fact that a light snow is falling. The god exists apart from the rave. The imagery cuts back to dancing bodies & horses rearing then the boy stands alone for a second at 3:37 in falling snow & this subliminally puts him on the same plane of existence as the deity. After another couple seconds of rave dancing, we get slightly over a second at 3:40 to fully absorb snow falling on the diety & his horse w/ a halo symbolizing divinity behind them. 

The video concludes w/ 2 seconds of the boy facing the girl in the rain, one solid shot of Rag’n’BoneMan’s face w/ snowfall & then a bright flash of green light!

Thru-out the video, we’ve seen scenes tinted blue, yellow, & red but this is the only shot of bright green & it’s flashed at the viewer like a piecing ray. Green symbolizes the Earth, growth, & as the mid-point in the color spectrum it represents balance. Green is also the color of the metaphysical Healing Ray of Light. And that’s what it represents in the context of this narrative. Summoned & guided by a deity, empowered by the magic of music & dance, our boy hero has been healed of his malaise. In the last moments, we see him standing alone, strong & resolute, looking up in wonder as snowflakes drift down upon him. This is a lovely conclusion to the tale.

[redspiderling]

MCU Breakdown: The Avengers

I was actually working on a post for Iron Man 2, but my recent anon just made me think about the Avengers. A lot. So here’s a breakdown of the film that really got me hooked in the MCU, because of its well made inclusion of the Black Widow. I hope you’re patient, it’s very long.

This used to be my favourite Natasha. Yes, I like the Avengers Natasha more than the Winter Soldier Natasha, and that’s because this Natasha is really close to comic book Natasha, she’s a badass and she tells her own story. Winter Soldier Natasha is there to support Steve Rogers on his journey, and she didn’t punch Nick Fury in the face at the end of the film, but more on that when we get there.

This is how we meet Natasha in the Avengers movie:

It’s an illusion of course. I’ve talked about this extensively before, Black Widow is an excellent strategist and a brilliant intelligence operative, and is in control of pretty much any situation. But we don’t really know her yet (not if we haven’t seen Iron Man 2, and even there her character was really not fleshed out), and we, like the nameless goons of this scene, have probably already underestimated her. 

This scene gives us very specific information about Natasha:

a) Don’t underestimate her, because she can end you.

b) She -still- works for SHIELD as an intelligence operative.

c) She puts herself at risk for her mission. She will complain to her boss about messing with her work, but will drop said work without question for Clint. So, Natasha’s priorities look like this:

Friends> Mission> SHIELD> Personal safety/health

d) She is aware of her strengths and weaknesses, i.e. she knows Stark is still pissed off at her because of the whole Natalie thing, and she makes this face when she realises they ask her to go find the Hulk:

Very strong intro for a spectacular character. They knew it was good, which is why they put this scene right after the “prologue”. So far so good.

(note: I think one of the reasons Scarlett loves Natasha as much as she does, is because she probably constantly faces people who underestimate her. Who see a beautiful woman and nothing more, and she just wishes she could use the thighs of death on them. Or knock them out with a crowbar.)

We are now in India where Dr. Banner is hiding. This young girl has been sent to fetch him. Black Widow has a plan.

She knows Banner is... sensitive. She knows he might not react well to what she has to say, so:

First, she gets him to as much of a secluded place as possible, in order to avoid as many casualties as she can, in case things go south. She uses a young girl as her messenger to manipulate him for 2 reasons:

1) because she knew he would be unable to refuse to offer help to a child

2) because by comparing herself to a young helpless girl, wins her sympathy points with the doctor.

She also makes sure to assume the identity of an ordinary woman, and tries to make an intimate setting, to make him feel more at ease. She literally sets up a scene and all its pieces.

Her costume was also carefully chosen. Layered, so she can give him the illusion of sharing herself, of becoming more intimate. When she tells him she’s been a spy since childhood, and that they are there talking, just the 2 of them, she takes off the shawl. Notice of course again, how she tries to make him underestimate her, by sharing a part of her painful past. She doesn’t mind causing herself physical or psychological pain, to get to her goal.

She introduces herself with her real name, of course, and after explaining she works for SHIELD, she uses the word “we”. SHIELD is a faceless organisation, and she has now given it the face of a young, traumatised woman. 

When Banner asks “What if I say no?” she smiles, and replies “I’ll persuade you”. She wants to let him know, that she can exercise control over him. She knows he won’t mind now that they have gotten chummier.

When Banner asks “What if the other guy says no?” she replies “You’ve been more than a year without an incident, I don’t think you’d want to break that streak”. She puts him in control of the Hulk, and at the same time challenges him to keep his cool.

Don’t think this is not working, it’s working perfectly. Banner is now relaxed, and says “I don’t always get what I want”. He’s opening up. He thinks he’s sitting down with a friend and they’re having a conversation about their feelings.

But Natasha will have none of that. Remember, priorities. The moment she realises he’s lax, she latches on the reason she’s actually there for. Sorry doc, I’m not actually here to help you resolve your issues. She mentions the global catastrophe because if he doesn’t want to participate she’s going to guilt trip him into participating because, let’s face it doc, world safety> psychological issues.

Bruce is really not happy with the reason she’s actually there for. That’s when she mentions the science stuff, which she uses as the final hook, and of course, it works.

He is disbelieving of the fact that they need him, for him, which is sad for Bruce of course, because he’s a brilliant man who has beer worn down by his circumstances, and it is also very telling of his mistrust towards any kind of authority, which is why Natasha chooses to separate herself from said authority now. When he pressures her on her information, she passes the ball on to Fury. This way, any anger is directed at a person far away, and she can still keep herself in his good books, and the atmosphere can hopefully remain friendly.

Nonetheless, she can feel he’s angry. Or antsy. Or something. Which is why she leans over the table to reach for her phone, and when he bursts out, she’s at the perfect spot to pull out the gun she had hidden under the table.

Now, this is what I don’t like:

Bruce proclaims: “Stop lying to me!” Considering the fact that he actually believes her on the “the world is at risk, we need you” thing, and also on the fact that her knowledge of what exactly he will be asked to do for SHIELD, I am left to wonder, what is the lies she’s told him that upset him?

Natasha hasn’t lied to him. What she has done, is create the correct circumstances that would allow her to have a conversation with him. She has played on what information she has on his personality, to get him to relax. And that’s what he has a problem with. But really Bruce, she told you she works for SHIELD straight on, did you really think she was there so you two could talk about your feelings over a bottle of red? Were you really that insulted by the fact that she didn’t just walk up to you in the middle of the day and say “Hey bro, I’m with SHIELD”, but went through an elaborate plan like this to get you to talk with her?

His pride was hurt, because the pretty lady was actually there on business and the intimacy of the scene was an illusion. So he reacted as any male would. He wanted to prove that in the end, he has the upper hand. How does he have the upper hand? He can kill her if he wants. 

“I just wanted to see what you’d do” is bullshit talk for “are you afraid?”. 

High praises for the one and only Natasha Romanoff, who yes, is afraid, but is staring him down the barrel of her gun anyway. We love you Natasha!

On Bruce’s defence, he does recognise that it was a dick move and apologises. Not that I, or Natasha, forgive him. He thinks he calls it a truce when he says “I’ll keep the other guy in, you put the gun down”.

He also thinks he’s the injured party here, because there were armed men in the premises. Dude, you’re the Hulk.

Clearly Bruce has -a lot- of issues to work through, but that’s for one of his own fans to work on, I’m going to focus on our girl, who makes this face in reply to his sarcastic “just you and me?”:

which roughly translates to “are you for real?” But seriously. She’s trying to regain her composure after the doctor faked his rage. That disbelieving, horrified look, should have been there in AoU as well, but well.

Can I just also mention that it’s very telling of the Black Widows skills, that she goes after the Hulk, while Coulson gets Stark and Fury, Steve Rogers?

This is how it would go, if they had asked Natasha to take care of Stark: *Natasha calls Pepper, tells Pepper what’s down, Pepper takes care of Tony*

Or Steve Rogers: *Natasha walks up to him in the gym, offers him a better workout, and after a few rounds on the mat are over and pleasantries have been exchanged, Steve recognises her as a hard-as-shell brilliant fighter who, instead of pissing him off with plans of grandeur involving the tesseract like Fury did, simply tells him, hey Cap, this was fished out the water and stolen, sorry but you need to help us steal it back, and he does.*

Natasha is very casual and cool when she eventually meets Cap. Keeping in mind that he just spent an entire plane ride with his biggest fan, she tries not to make a big deal out of his arrival. Again, she wants him to feel at ease. She doesn’t dodge the subject of his continued existence but she does show kindness, and instead of rubbing salt in his wounds like Fury did, she makes jokes about Coulson: the Fanboy.

She also switches to SHIELD Agent mode when Banner gets there, and watches their reactions to the Helicarrier for her own personal amusement.

I resent the fact that Banner made such a big deal out of the theatrics put in place to get him to cooperate with Natasha, but thanks Fury for “asking nicely”. Men.

Let’s not forget why Natasha is here and not somewhere in Russia having fun with her playthings. 

I would also like to point out, that Fury is the one who, once again, makes Natasha, specifically, take Banner to the lab.

She’s not happy with that, because she didn’t look at either of them while she followed Fury’s orders. And if you think even for a moment, that Fury wasn’t deliberate, you’re mistaken. And if you think it’s weird, you’re right. And before anyone rushes off to name him matchmaker, trust me, he’s not. He just knows Bruce’s weakness and doesn’t give a shit about Natasha’s.

“Guy’s all over the place”, as in, he has a reindeer helmet, he’s a nut-job.

That smile goes to the fact that Stark is actually holding no ill feelings, and also, who better to deal with a highly intelligent nut-job with daddy issues, that another highly intelligent nut-job with daddy issues?

This scene shows another aspect of her character, that of the agent who can work from the sidelines offering support to a team (and report back to SHIELD). Natasha wasn’t there to fight, she was there to observe. Let’s not forget, she was the one who interviewed Stark for the Avengers, Fury trusts her to juggle the team dynamics, that was her role, to see how they worked together.

Natasha is there for Thor when he needs a reality check, and not-so-silently judges.

And now to my favourite bit :D

Loki smiles when he understands she’s there. He has considerable insight into her character, due to the fact that he had Clint under his control, and he knows she’s no walk in the park, so he doesn’t mind complementing her on the fact that she managed to sneak up on him.

Natasha also has prepared herself for battle, which is why she approaches him as the Black Widow.

Just look how the Black Widow dominates the scene. He’s in a prison cell, she looks down on him, she’s in complete control. From here on, whatever happens in that room, happens because she allowed it.

Loki on the other hand, quite idiotically misreads the information he has on her because of what? Her sex? He really thought a woman named Black Widow would act as a balm? Oh no my friend, you will need balms after she’s done with you. 

Natasha came in after Fury failed, to get the information they needed out of him. She is clearly the best operative he has, and he always hands her the most difficult parts of any situation that needs to be dealt with perfectly.

We can see by the film language alone, the difference in characters. Natasha stands in front of the cell, and still, we are made to see it as if she’s looking down on him from above. She’s at the centre of the frame and dominates the scene. Fury is standing back, and on the side of the frame while Loki is in the centre, his posture very relaxed.

In any case, Natasha uses a different approach to Loki. Instead of discussing the big issue, she makes this personal. She makes it seem as if she’s just here for Clint. She has caught on Loki’s perception of her as deadly but decidedly female, and works on it.

When they are finally on equal footing, it’s because she has allowed it to be so. Therefore, she still has the upper hand, but chooses to make it seem as if she doesn’t.

It’s ridiculous how easily Natasha handles the flow of their discussion. She mentions Clint, and Loki readily tries to mock her. Loki loves feeling empowered, and the fact that he might have something that is of value to this woman, makes him feel good about himself. 

He wants to taunt her, and flaunt his dominance. So Natasha lets him. He wants to play psychiatrist, he sits down, and Natasha follows suit, “opening up” to him, exposing what he has presumed to be her weakness.

I love the details of Scarlett’s performance here. She hesitates, before beginning telling her story, as if this is difficult for her, to share these details. We, watching this for the first time, expected to hear some exposition about the character. We didn’t know at the time that this was Black Widow playing with her food. We were Loki, in this scene.

“Before I worked for SHIELD I... well, I made a name for myself.”

I love her sly smile in that moment, and how she settles in the chair like a big cat. Black Widow has done some pretty horrible stuff, but in that moment, Natasha looks back on her life and relishes in the fact that all that pain has led her here, in a position to con the God of lies. And she likes that. 

I know later on Marvel likes to tell us about how far Natasha is willing to go for redemption, and how ashamed she is for what she has done, blah, blah, blah. But the truth is, she was brainwashed. I think it’s cool that now that she doesn’t work for the bad guys anymore, she should be able to enjoy being a super awesome mastermind, highly trained badass working for the good guys. She’s the Black Widow people, let her relish in the fact that she can manipulate evil men and bathe in their blood and tears.

Loki is so cocky, so sure of himself, it’s freakishly easy for Natasha to make him think he has the upper hand. 

He wants to hurt her, because she’s been here talking with him for this long, and not once has she mentioned his plans for Earth! It’s like she doesn’t even care (and at some point she calls on her Russian heritage for not giving a shit about rulers) so she should be made to suffer of course.

Also, Scarlett goes from this:

To this:

to this:

At that point, Natasha didn’t even have to do anything, once she got Loki going, she just pretty much let him tattle on his amazing plan. Because in trying to hurt her, like the sociopath that he is, he forgot himself and gave away too much. 

Sly victory smile!

Moving on from that awesome piece, I’m left wondering, does Marvel want me to dislike Bruce?

First, he was upset that Natasha wasn’t upfront with her approach of him in India. Then, he thanked Fury from approaching him with delicacy about this subject which, hey, it wasn’t his plan, it was Natasha’s. Then, he asks Natasha “did you know about this?!”, this being the weapons SHIELD designed that would work with energy from the tesseract, while Fury -who runs this organisation- was literally in the room. 

Is there a specific reason they wanted Bruce to be upset with Natasha? Is it because they wanted to add tension to the group? Does that make Bruce look like a jackass? Yes, to all of those.

Let me just say, that I love the fact that Natasha was allowed to call him out on his bullshit. “You didn’t come here because I bat my eyelashes at you”, i.e. you don’t get to be upset for the way you were approached, because you know it was the only way you would allow this communication to happen and somewhere deep down you’re a good person, who wouldn’t say no to saving the world. And that, is the actual reason all of them are there. Deep down, they are good people, trying to do the right thing.

This is the moment where I felt bad for Bruce:

He knew what was coming and he was powerless to stop it. Not that I completely understand the reasoning behind the Hulk zeroing in on Natasha like that.

Natasha was hunted down by the Hulk, barely survived, and currently suffers multiple injuries, not to mention psychological trauma and crippling fear. Yet, she pushes all that aside, for Clint. Priorities people.

Oh! By the way, in that physical and mental state, she kicked Clint’s ass, *ahem*, sorry, I meant, she re-calibrated his head.

Also, listen Clint, I love you darling, and I know you’ve been through a lot in the last few days, but how can you ask the Black Widow if she knows what it’s like to be unmade? It’s exposition, sure, but still, that killer glare was getting away with it, honestly.

Is anyone else’s heart broken by this smile? Does anyone else realise, this is the first original good smile we get out of Natasha for the entire film? And it’s because her friend thanked her for saving him? Do you realise, in this film, Clint had the role of the damsel in distress, and Natasha was the bold hero who did anything and everything to save him. I mean, yeah, they are platonic bros, and that makes it even cooler, but still, it’s pretty good to see something like this on a major production. 

They can write the characters well, they can make them versatile, original, strong, they just choose to be sloppy. Some times.

Natasha even tends to his emotional needs, and reminds him that he can’t blame himself for what happened while he was brainwashed.

They do read each other well. Clint points out that -normally- Natasha’s part in this fight should end here. Not only because this is not her scene, it’s not the way she operates, but also because her goal so far had been to get Clint back. So what is it, that keeps her going?

“I’ve been compromised. I’ve got red in my ledger, I’d like to wipe it out.”

To me, that means that Natasha feels the weight of her responsibility to the world. She can’t pretend to be uncaring to what’s going on around her. I can’t for the life of me, determine which was the turning point during the film for her character. Maybe the change occurred gradually but now, her and Clint are on the same page. They both have a responsibility to help fix this mess, and for quite similar reasons, even though neither of them was cut out for a fight of this nature. That’s the stuff heroes are made of.

Can a human being possibly express too much love for Steve Rogers? Probably not.

Perfect cinnamon roll Steve Rogers, after knowing Natasha for like, 2 whole hours, decided she’s coming to fight for the world. He’s not even asking, just “time to go.” 

And believe you me, it’s not because Stark had anything good to say about Natalie, it’s all about Steve’s perceptive nature. He even placed the trust of trusting Clint, a guy who up until 5 minutes ago was part of the enemy’s forces, on Natasha, by silently asking if he should come on board. And he never questions her. 

Even though he doesn’t entirely trust Fury, he recognises they have to put whatever issues they have aside, and he has seen enough of her to realise she’s a worthy ally, and because he is Cap, he chooses to trust her to do the right thing. That trust sets the foundation for their friendship, and it is rad af.

All I’m saying, is that Steve Rogers is a fantastic human being and we really don’t deserve him.

Natasha Romanoff: Sees alien army. Takes out her handguns, turns to Captain America and literally says “You can go, we’ll handle this” like it’s a stroll in the park. The way she kept her cool throughout the fight with the alien army is a testament to just how much crap she’s lived through. Clint too.

I know people talk about friendly neighbourhood Spider-man, but those two were killing aliens and at the same time helping kids and old ladies off busses and stuff in the battle of New York.

And fixing the arrow that was meant to kill Loki.

I’m gonna call that, her “It’s cool you’re finally here but you’re definitely not forgiven face.”

And seriously, when our very human spider willingly chose to fight this fight, Bruce needs to be reprimanded for having to be dragged into it kicking and screaming. You’re the Hulk man, get a grip, honestly.

I’d just like to add here, that Cap took excellent charge of the team, and had the perfect job for everyone BUT, it was Natasha who pointed out that there was no point fighting the aliens that came through the portal, and it was Natasha who took the initiative to find a way to shut down said portal.  And said solution had nothing to do with guns, and everything to do with brains. 

In case you didn’t notice:

In Iron Man 2: Natasha took down Vanko’s system and gave back the control of War Machine to Rhodey.

In Avengers: Natasha closed down the portal.

In Winter Soldier: Natasha made Hydra’s continued existence known to the world by releasing SHIELD’s files.

In Age of Ultron: Natasha stole Ultron’s body, destroying his plans and allowing Tony to create Vision.

In Civil War: Natasha allowing Cap to leave ended the fight.

I mean sure Cap, you’re good at strategic planning, but look what our girl can do!

I’m 99% sure the wordless communication between them is because they both do similarly crazy shit like this. Also, the look of wonder on Cap’s face after the jump: priceless. 

Ta daaaah!

To end this on a funny note: who do I need to pay to learn what kind of joke Natasha whispered in Clint’s ear? Was it dry and sarcastic? Evil? He seemed pretty happy about it so I’m guessing evil.

Anyway, thanks for sticking around, this was an extra long post. I was really happy to realise that -on the whole- the first Avengers film had actually treated Natasha pretty well, which is why it acted as a hook for most of us when it came to her character. I think I’ll probably end up doing Winter Soldier after this one so, stay tuned!

[raeyvies]

Hiiii!! Request open? If yes could you please write a Headcanon about a pregnant mc who suddenly disappeared and the boys are desperate as crazy? Thank you! Hope you have a nice day!!

RFA boys + Saeran reacting to pregnant MC who disappears suddenly

I actually haven’t done headcanons before but I really liked writing this one last night. Legit went to sleep at 2 am to finish this. I REALLY liked writing this and made the headcanons long af xD I got way too into it and I really hope you like it c: There’s a mix of angst and fluff in here for variety! 

Also, I have more than enough time on my hands now so feel free to request headcanons ^^

Yoosung

You kept your pregnancy a secret from Yoosung to surprise him at first but your plans (more like your baby’s plans) changed

Luckily you were one of the few whose belly didn’t start showing until later so you were able to extend your surprise for him however, your doctor found that your baby had a condition now that you were 4 months in

The baby’s condition could be treated, but just not in Korea

While yoosung was at work you packed up your things

You ended up being a little unorthodox and just took the earliest flight possible to Germany

Saeyoung and Jumin were the only ones who knew about your situation so they helped you out

Jumin helped with all the expenses

(as much as you didn’t want to, he insisted)

And Saeyoung fabricated evidence to show that you were selected to be on a psychology committee for the next year all to convince yoosung

after all you were a psychology graduate

You kind of left one detail out and that was to tell Yoosung that you were leaving

You were so distracted by everything going on with your baby, it wasn’t until a week later that you contacted yoosung

In that week, Yoosung dialed your mom, your dad, your siblings

He spammed the messenger every single night hoping the you would answer but you never did

At night he hardly slept thinking of every possible thing that could have happened to you

Nobody could have kidnapped you right…?

HE was legit pulling his hair out at night

Yoosung was just paranoid out of his mind

Some nights he may have imagined that you returned even

It wasn’t until he received a call after coming out from work that he was able to calm down

Given, he asked you every single question to exist in the first minute when he picked up

You told him that you couldn’t use your international minutes too much to explain and that he can ask Saeyoung to explain

The boy fell for it. The whole lie. Thank God. He didn’t need to worry about a baby just yet.

He finally calmed down and counted down the days until your returned

What he didn’t expect was to see you at the airport with a baby boy in a stroller

WHO HAD HIS PURPLE EYES

“Sungjae, you finally get to meet your daddy,” you greeted Yoosung with the happiest expression ever

OMG CUTEST REUNION EVER

Jumin

Jumin left early the morning when you found out you were pregnant

Apparently you had been pregnant already a month and 3 weeks without knowing.

You had forgotten to take two birth control pills at some point because you were so overwhelmed with work

You stayed in the bathroom for at least 2 hours staring at your pregnancy test

You felt you were too young to have a baby

You were enjoying life, your job, your husband

Neither of you had plans for a baby any time soon either though Jumin would have welcomed him or her just fine

This wasn’t something you could just talk to anyone about so you went to Jaehee who was in Jumin’s office while he was in a meeting

You broke down in front of her and she comforted you

You decided to get an abortion but wanted to make sure you were a distance away from Jumin so that he wouldn’t be able to stop you

By the afternoon you took a train to a very reliable abortion clinic where you had made an appointment that was for the next day b/c you were Jumin’s wife

It was like 400 miles away

When Jumin got home and saw you weren’t there, he called you assuming that you stayed late at work

You didn’t answer any of his calls

Okay now he was anxious

You always answered his calls

He tried to suppress his emotions and stay rational but THIS IS HIS WIFE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT

And well he is who he is

There were so many reasons why you could disappear just because you’re his wife

So he literally dispatched all his security to search for you

This was an emergency and that was enough to even have his intelligence unit hack into all cameras around the city and beyond to find you

He got absolutely no sleep. He paced around in his office waiting for a phone call

He demanded that every ten minutes he’d be given a status report

He wanted to sleep so desperately but he couldn’t. He wasn’t going to until you were found

Around 7 in the morning, security found you again walking into the abortion clinic through surveillance cameras

Jumin was confused why you were there of all places until he put two and two together

Within an hour he was at the clinic (he took his private jet duh)

You were already mid procedure so Jumin was not allowed to disturb

But he was there when you were finished and moved out from the procedure room

Your heart dropped when you saw him

He wasn’t mad or anything, he was just relieved to know you’re okay

You didn’t have the guts to tell him what you just did and why until he asked you if there was something he should know

You tell him all about how you’re too young to have a baby yet and breakdown

He says that it’s okay.

Jumin accepts your decision (I mean what’s done is done right?) and six years later you have your first baby

It’s a girl and her name is Han Juyi !

Zen

You were both already aware of your pregnancy

HE was the one who was super stoked to have a child. At first he thought it would be a little bump in his career but he’s okay with it

His career already lifted off and he could afford having a child

Zen had to tame his beast with you now Oh lord he was so protective of you

You were glad he wasn’t overbearing

He was already making a list of names in his head and well you were too

You stayed up to date with your prenatal vitamins and took very good care of yourself while he was working.

This was where working from home had all its perks

When you started showing a belly you just upsized your clothes

After all it was just a fashion trend lately to wear oversized clothing

You were a firm believer in that pregnancy should be a private matter so the few times you went out in public, you made sure to cover up as well as you could

The last thing you wanted was for the paparazzi to catch a glimpse of your baby bump.

When you saw another famous actor/non-actor couple on the news talking about their unexpected pregnancy, you immediately felt a knot in your stomach

The paparazzi was getting much more clever these days and honestly you didn’t want to risk them finding out your pregnancy

You didn’t want the added stress to affect your pregnancy

So you call your mom who lives in the countryside and asked if you could stay until the baby arrived

That night was one of Zen’s performances and you never miss one. You always have a front row seat reserved so that Zen can always catch a glimpse of you

However, you left to the countryside before the show started. Zen saw that you weren’t there and assumed you were a bit late

But halfway through the show, you never arrived and that threw him off. He was sweating under his costume more than usual because he was nervous

His mind was racing.

He thought maybe you fell sick and stayed home

Or it could be something worse

At a scene change, he ran backstage and dialed your number as quick as possible

You didn’t answer any calls and he began to lose it

He was breathing really hard and was just lost. He couldn’t focus on anything because he was trying to figure out why you disappeared

Zen yelled out and told his understudy to take his place for the rest of the musical

Today that understudy was being a lazy prick but Zen was not having any of it

Oooohhhhh shit

He grabbed his understudy by his shirt and growled at him

“You’re taking my place right now or so help me I’ll make sure you never get a role in anything again. Got it?”

Having made his point he left and took his motorcycle back home only to find that you left.

You left a lot of your stuff there because your mom already had what you needed

He called you once again, this time tears are already about to fall

But he hears your voice when you pick up the phone and is so relieved

You explain with you left without notice and he says you should’ve at least told him

For the next 5 months until you give birth, you two video chat and you send him copies of your baby’s ultrasound

When the gender is revealed, you two spend an entire night thinking of names over video call and by morning when you’re too tired, you finally decide a name

He’s there for you the night you give birth and he is literally the happiest person in the world

While you’re in recovery, he fills out the baby’s registration

Gender: Male

Name: Ryu Hyuk

Seven

Lately he’s been pulling off so many pranks on you

You just never have an idea that can beat his out

His latest prank actually resulted in the two of you having some ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) time in his office full of computers and cameras recording everything

He claims it was an “accident” but he does nothing to delete the video

Lowkey he even threatens you in a joking way that he’ll send it out to everyone

One night you try to delete it but can’t figure out how to, but you at least manage to get a copy of it on a flash drive

You actually found a use for it later

A few weeks later when you miss your period you know that you’re pregnant

And you know exactly why

You think of what way to tell him you’re pregnant

And then a light bulb goes off

You’re going to pull of the best prank to tell him you’re expecting.

With the help of Vanderwood, you manage to get a surveillance recording of you being “captured” in Seven’s garage

One of Vanderwood’s old friends, who Seven doesn’t know, joins in and helps film a few ransom video that even you would believe was real

Seven comes home and like always goes to his computers to continue hacking. He’s totally oblivious to what’s going to happen next

A recording of your screams goes off and God Seven is literally bolting upstairs to where the scream came from

He runs to your shared room on the third floor and you’re not there. He searches the rest of the bunker only to have his alarm go off and he goes to the computers

(thanks to Vanderwood who knows the workings of the bunker)

The video of you being captured in the garage appears on his computer screen followed by the ransom video

Seven’s heart was beating so fast out of fear that he was sure he was about to faint.

He knew it. One day you would pay the price for being around him

He yells out for Vanderwood, his voice cracking and they both run out to the garage where they expect to find MC

Another video appears on his phone, telling him to go to the roof

Vanderwood is legit laughing his ass off b/c finally got him good

On the roof, there’s a chair right in the middle. A video is prepared and it’s an unfamiliar face.

“There is one more thing you must do besides handing over the money. There is a confidential video in your possession that must be deleted. And then we will return MC unharmed.”

Seven is willing to delete his life at this point just to get you back

And then yours and Seven’s ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) video starts playing

Next thing Seven knows is that you are driving up in a children’s battery powered car from Toys r US with blue and pink balloons attached to the back of it

“Babe, I think we’re going to need another parking space. Preferably sized for this car”

Seven legit couldn’t be happier to know you’re expecting.

But he’s also so salty that you gave him a heart attack

He gave you the silent treatment for all of ten minutes while you and Vanderwood were laughing so hard and high fiving

You let him play with the miniature car and he forgave you immediately

This child I swear

8 months later just before giving birth, you ended up buying another toy car

One was pink and one was blue

The pink one had the name Choi Saeyeon written

The blue one had the name Choi Youngjae on it

V (forgive me this one is so much angst T_T):

When V found out you were pregnant, he took it upon himself to make all the announcements

He decided to call this collection of photos “Family”

You both were so happy

V was just so overwhelmed by emotions of happiness, love, and anticipation

Too emotional at that so he started crying

This is what true happiness is and what love is

The collage you both made became the announcement that you sent out to everyone close to them.

It also showed a picture of V and you holding blue daffodils to show that the baby will be a boy

V insisted on sending Rika an announcement as well much to your dislike.

You were just being cautious but he convinced you that it was his way of showing that he moved on and that there is hope for her to find love just as he did

Rika legit went crazy and had an episode upon seeing

She tore up the card and became heated.

She waited patiently, having Ray monitor the expecting couple until the The due date was near

Around the eight month mark, Rika decided to strike and had her believers (or at least what remained of them) kidnap you from your home

You couldn’t fight back because you were already so exhausted from the extra weight you’re carrying

You breath in from a rag they placed over your mouth and nose and next thing you know you’re in darkness.

V comes home to an empty house and calls out for you. He told you not to leave the house unless necessary since you’re in your last month

You’re not upstairs or in the basement, not outside either or in the bathroom

He tries to keep himself calm but when he sees a note on the bed with a logo that’s all too familiar he just freaks

He starts sweating and his hands shake.

It’s all his fault he keeps telling himself

I mean it kinda is though

He yells at nothing

He kicks things from the ground

And when he’s had it, he punches a mirror, it breaks and his hand is bleeding

There’s only one person who can help him and of course it’s Saeyoung

He has him track down the new location of Mint Eye

And he actually yells at him to hurry up

That’s so unlike V to yell at Saeyoung but like its your life on the line so he’s right to be pissed

With the new location found, he grabs Saeyoung’s car keys and tells him to get in the car now

Legit is driving like 120 mph

When you come to your senses, you’re laid on a surprisingly comfortable bed.

Rika is there sitting on the bedside stroking your hair

“Let’s make sure we save this baby when he comes to our world. We’ll save him I promise”

You try to refuse the elixirs that she gives you but Rika gets tired of you fighting back and just injects you with it instead. Proven to be just as effective

You become delirious because of the drug

Your head spins and next thing you know you’re falling in and out of consciousness.

You’re mumbling words that don’t make sense as you hear V’s voice again.

When V finds you he literally pushed Rika aside and takes you back

Saeyoung right behind him made sure that Rika didn’t get in the way

V was literally seething with rage but he couldn’t focus on his emotions when you’re a drugged mess in his arms.

Going to the hospital is the first thing in his mind because he had no idea what the drug is doing to you and the baby

By the time you, V, and Saeyoung reach the hospital, you’ve gone into labor

The doctors say that the drug affected your body in such a way that premature labor was induced

You were put under anesthesia for an emergency c-section. The baby was the priority

After that procedure, they tried to detoxify your blood stream from whatever drug Rika put in your body.

After waking up from anesthesia, you were in so much pain.

You didn’t know a c-section would hurt so much you couldn’t even move

V was right by your side the entire time with his son in his arms

“Say hi to your mommy, Jiwook. She’s the one you got your looks from.”

Saeran:

Saeran still had to go to therapy a few times a month but his therapist finally said he’s made so much progress you wouldn’t even think he’s mentally ill.

On the day he was finally cleared and no longer had to go to therapy, you two decided to celebrate

You went out for ice cream and movies and arcade games

When you came home you were both really joyful and playful

Then you both played a little game of chase in your apartment because let’s be real Saeran is deep deep down fluff.

One thing led to the other and next thing you knew you were pinned beneath Saeran

On your bed

The next morning you woke up with hickies all over and well that glow that can only come from really good sex

A few weeks later you missed your period.

Admittedly, you felt you weren’t ready for a baby and neither was Saeran.

He’s scared that he might lose control of himself and hurt the kid. Or even hurt you

You trust him enough that he won’t revert back to violence. He’s so mature.

That night you tell him over dinner that you’re pregnant

Saeran drops his spoon on the plate and he’s kind of at a lost of words

“it’s okay if you’re not ready to talk about it Saeran. We can talk about it another time”

Another time never really comes

You’re already 3 months in but you’re still doubting that you and Saeran can raise a child

Considering that he’s never even made a mention about the baby you just conclude that he feels he’s not ready for the responsibility

You leave the apartment without calling him that you be home for a few hours and go to an adoption center

In all honesty, you kind of want Saeran to say that he wants to start a family but you don’t want to force it on him

When Saeran comes home, he’s carrying a few bags with baby stuffs

He actually did so much research and this was his way of telling you that he wanted to start a family.

He dropped the bags when he found out you weren’t in the apartment

You were always here at this time. There’s never been a day you’re not home when he comes back

He calls out your name with a normal voice but soon enough his voice starts cracking.

His head starts spinning.

He thinks you ran away or abandoned him because he didn’t ever mention to you about the baby.

“Don’t leave me please. Everyone leaves but please not you, I wanted to start a family with you”

He forgot to think and then realized he could just track your phone from his phone

this child I swear

He finds out you’re just a few blocks away from the apartment complex and he dashes all the way to where you are

He notices it’s an adoption center and when he spots you, he hugs you so tight repeating over and over that he loves you and he wants to start a family with you

Literally makes a scene at the adoption center

A few weeks later you both go to find out the gender of the baby and…

It’s a girl!

“Uhm, MC, i don’t like the color pink. We are not painting our daughter’s room pink”

“then what color do you want to use?”

“Magenta?”

You literally facepalm

“Magenta is literally pink, Saeran”

………

You still go with that color and paint your daughter’s room

Time flies and next thing you know, you’ve already given birth to your daughter

Turns out it was two daughters. Fraternal twins!

Saeran literally ate an ice cream cone while you were in labor

Both you and Saeran couldn’t decide between two names for a daughter

Now you got to use both names instead of choosing

Hyeran was born ten minutes before Saejung

~Raenai 

[just0nemorepage]

My True Love Gave to Me: Twelve Holiday Stories || Stephanie Perkins || 321 pages ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Top 3 Genres: Young Adult / Short Stories / Romance

Synopsis: If you love holiday stories, holiday movies, made-for-TV-holiday specials, holiday episodes of your favorite sitcoms and, especially, if you love holiday anthologies, you’re going to fall in love with My True Love Gave To Me: Twelve Holiday Stories by twelve bestselling young adult writers, edited by international bestselling author Stephanie Perkins. Whether you enjoy celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah, Winter Solstice or New Year's there's something here for everyone. So curl up by the fireplace and get cozy. You have twelve reasons this season to stay indoors and fall in love.

Finished: December 14th, 2017.

Progress: 13 / 50. 26% complete.

My Rating: ★★★★★. [5/5]

My Review: [Under the read more - NOT SPOILER FREE]

Alright, it's been three days, I've seen the new Star Wars on opening night, survived my office's Christmas party and a trip to the mall, spent a night with Tyler and an evening out with my entire family for my dad's birthday, ticked off another D&D session, woke up early to do some dog sitting, passed out in bed before 11pm on both of my days off cause – who knew – I am tired, SO, it's about time I wrote this review.

Gift wrapping still needs done today too.

REVIEW FIRST.

CAUSE THIS BOOK DID THINGS TO ME.

To be fair – as with all short story books, some stories fell kind of flat, most others were either neutral or just generally enjoyable, and the rest were like JESUS CHRIST I WANT A FULL NOVEL OF THIS.

I also had a fun time trying to identify which of the ice skating couples on the front of the book corresponded with each couple in each story. 😁

So I suppose I'll do a breakdown of all twelve stories, with individual ratings and comments for each one, knowing that the whole book gets a full five stars cause holy shit my heart.

Midnights ; Rainbow Rowell - ★★★☆☆. 3/5. One of the ones I felt kind of neutral towards, and maybe even fell a little flat. It was cute, definitely, and a good start to the book, but the characters felt so... "young adult." They didn't feel real at all. It felt like an extremely romanticized version of a friendship turning into a romance, and like it was more a stylized painting of a relationship than an actual relationship. But, it was still cute.

The Lady and the Fox ; Kelly Link - ★★☆☆☆. 2/5. The writing was beautiful and poetic, but the relationship was... weird. I know that a lot was left unexplained and up to your imagination on purpose, but there was so much left out that I don't know if it was actually on purpose or if it was just poor storytelling. I also don't like the concept of a young girl meeting a strange older man, and as she "ages into it" they eventually fall in love. Especially since he was mean to her at first. Plus her personality change into "goth/punk" and the witch's appearance and deciding to let Fenny out of her grasp happened very abruptly, and left me feeling very unsatisfied. And Elspeth sort of just.. appearing in the middle of it all? Already fully understanding the situation? It was weird and needed much more explaining to feel like a fully developed story, and without it just felt like the bare bones outline of a story that could have maybe been decent with more flushing out.

Angels in the Snow ; Matt de la Pena - ★★★☆☆. 3/5. Yaaas Mexican main character, and mixed-race relationship. The story was all extremely adorable and felt very real, and I like how the ending wasn't necessarily happy. I also like how the whole situation was messy, and neither character is completely likable – Shy had his pride, was a chronic liar, and had issues with expressing healthy emotions, and Haley never fully explained WHY she wanted to break up with her boyfriend, and also had a night of cheating on him. These things are what made me feel genuinely annoyed enough to not actually be able to enjoy the story and the messiness of everything. But – BUT – Shy understood consent, and Haley understood things were no longer fair and healthy between her and her boyfriend, so she broke up with him that very same night she cheated. I heavily appreciate and respect these things, and I must say that even though the character's annoyances cut through too deep for me to rate the story any higher, it was very powerful and actually pretty well done.

Polaris is Where You'll Find Me ; Jenny Han - ★★★☆☆. 3/5. THIS ONE WAS SAD. I wasn't expecting a fantasy story in this book, and it was a pleasant surprise! BUT IT WAS SAD. I loved that the MC was Asian, and the concept of a human raised amongst Christmas elves is a pleasing one to me, especially since these elves seemed more like LotR elves than Elf elves. But that Natalie was so unaccepted and unwelcomed by everybody? That Santa (as her father) seemed relatively oblivious to it all? That Flynn apparently has had feelings for her and only showed it after he provided her with Lars's address, already knowing she's likely to go back to the human world to choose Lars than stay where she knows she doesn't belong? Annoying, hence the three stars, BUT SO SAD. Probably the saddest story in the book, and having an ending that wasn't necessarily happy and left so up in the air REALLY was a nice surprise.

It's a Yuletide Miracle, Charlie Brown ; Stephanie Perkins - ★★★★★. 5/5. THE FIRST ONE I ADORED. OH GOD. This is also my first ever Stephanie Perkins story. If all of her shit is like this then OH MAN OH MAN. The story and the situation was so fucking cute, and actually believable, and holy wow *another* PoC MC, and paganism treated as real and respectable and legit and holy shit it's actually in a story (which legit made me want to find ways to celebrate the Solstice in addition to Christmas cause fuck man that's closer to what I actually feel than anything else out there), and I just, idek. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS STORY was fucking amazing and incredible and I want a whole NOVEL of it. I mean I could re-read it again right now cause AAAHHHH. This isn't doing the story justice at all and I feel horrible for it but I CAN'T ORGANIZE MY THOUGHTS OKAY.

Your Temporary Santa ; David Levithan - ★★★★☆. 4/5. A gay couple!! Treated as completely normal and not about coming out and not facing shitty people and oppression!!! That in itself is fantastic. And then there's the "oh, this is more complicated than I thought" thing that pops up right about when Lana comes out to taunt the (Jewish!!) MC, who I think I just realized went unnamed in the whole story. It's never stated clearly but it's heavily implied that the last person to wear that Santa suit is Connor's dad, who is also heavily implied to have left the family. Riley is still too young to understand, Lana is SO ANGRY about the situation and takes it out on everyone and everything at only 12 years old (that poor kid), and Connor seems to just want to do something for his baby sister without realizing what it might do to the rest of the family.. that, and that the MC crawls into bed with Connor at the end of it when it was both implied that he wasn't yet properly introduced to the family, AND that to do so would give away the Santa secret.. those last couple things are what made me go "?" and docked the one star off. Otherwise though, it's powerful and sad and I am a HUGE fan of the diversity in this whole book cause omg.

Krampuslauf ; Holly Black - ★★★★★. 5/5. THE SECOND ONE I ADORED. At first it seemed like it was too try-hard and edgelord, but then quickly proved to be a PERFECT combination of my aesthetic – cause I mean, a faun IS going to be my next costume project, so there's that, AND justice is a massive turn-on, SO. Creatures from some sort of fae realm showing up during Christmas to deliver justice against a cheating sexist shit-head as a gift to the girls he's wronged, especially in the form of a fae woman with a knife and a satyr who's probably the sexiest character I've read about in a book to date (the gold-painted goat-legged Krampus self-dubbed Joachim), is EXACTLY my kind of shit and oh my god I want like – a whole novel or a whole series of novels about this. Just oh my god. Once I realized what was going on I was like "HOLY SHIT" and almost felt like it was written specifically for me because it fit so perfectly. I mean of course it wasn't – BUT STILL. I WANT MORE. I was NOT expecting darkness or anything seductive in a CHRISTMAS story so this took me so off guard and asdhkjhkdhf.

FAE, BUDDY. YOU DON'T MESS WITH THEM. THEY ARE GOALS IN LIFE.

What the Hell Have you Done, Sophie Roth? ; Gayle Forman - ★★★★★. 5/5. Another one I thought was utterly fantastic. The storytelling and the characters and the setting felt so well done and so real, and ANOTHER mixed-race relationship (AW YISS), and the MC being a card-carrying intersectional feminist in all but a specific statement saying so, and, DUDE, SHE'S JEWISH, and idk this one was SO FUCKING CUTE and I loved it to pieces. She reminded me SO much of myself – a personality and sense of humor that doesn't really fit in and tries so hard to be aware of other peoples' plights and troubles, and that she actually fucks up and handles it, and just. IT HIT ME IN THE FEELS.

These comments with each story are probably getting less and less clear and concise as I go on but idgaf.

Beer Buckets and Baby Jesus ; Myra McEntire - ★★★★★. 5/5. I didn't adore this one as much as the other five starers, but it still gets five in just how pleasantly surprised I was, and how all my stereotypical expectations were blown completely apart and proved totally wrong. Troublemaker guy has a crush on pastor's daughter, who is dating the star football player, and all these people end up coming together to put on a Christmas pageant troublemaker-guy is responsible for as his act of community service for all the trouble he gets into. And it's set in the south. Quite frankly, it sounds sickening and like I'd rather suck on a cactus.

BUT. Pastor's daughter (Gracie) COMPLETELY proved to be her own, strong, willful person who doesn't even seem to be SUPER religious – still religious, sure, but more into science and historical accuracy than "Bible this and Bible that", who knows what she wants and goes for it and is complicated and fucking smart (valedictorian!), and Vaughn – troublemaker guy – eventually sees all of this and COMPLETELY RESPECTS ALL OF IT. No taking advantage of her, no thinking less of her, no belittling her, IS RESPECTING OF CONSENT, sees her completely as her own person, respect everywhere, oh my god. And the football star Gracie's dating? Is ALSO ACTUALLY PRETTY RESPECTFUL. And nice. And it turns out the situation there was just a cover for a long-distance relationship he's in that his family wouldn't approve of, that she's understandably not a fan of and wants out of, and they promise to handle it and fix it like mature adults. So. DUDE.

I WAS SO SURPRISED.

It gets a full five stars just for shattering all my horrible expectations and actually being completely everything I could ever want in this situation.

More things need to shatter my expectations like that! I was so happy!

Welcome to Christmas, CA ; Kiersten White - ★★★★★. 5/5. Oh man another one I loved. Maria reminded me so much of my boyfriend, and this whole story is just so adorably sickeningly cute and sweet and I can't get enough of it. Candy's boyfriend can go FUCK HIMSELF and I am so happy she got away, and also so happy that Maria came to see the truth of things and adopted a much more healthy outlook at the end, and I am HALF CONVINCED Ben's story of "juvie" is just a cover-up that he's a Christmas elf. Though I also accept the story that he's actually from juvie, cause fuck, people with those kinds of backgrounds NEED more stories of hope and success and still making a good life for themselves.

I'M FEELING ALL FLUFFY INSIDE AGAIN JUST THINKING OF THESE STORIES I LOVED SO MUCH JESUS CHRIST.

I'm gonna have to bookmark them or something so I can re-read them again whenever I want omg.

Star of Bethlehem ; Ally Carter - ★☆☆☆☆. 1/5. Seemed more like a situation that was trying too hard to be a thriller, and with an ending that was a COMPLETE flop and let down. I spent the whole story trying to figure out wtf the real issue was and why Liddy was as scarred as she was. So when it got to the end, and it was revealed that she was a teen music star and the "bad guy" was her manager-turned-guardian and was only missing the goatee and steepled fingers for as typical of a "bad guy" as he was – I mean, he all but yelled back "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME" like some Batman villain – just, man. I was so disappointed. It all was so fast and so basic and so stereotypical and so one-dimensional – I mean, the family and town would all accept her just like that? No anger that she lied at all? Aunt Mary actually wants to adopt her after just a WEEK? She let Ethan kiss her and actually felt okay with it amongst all the rest of it? I mean – wasn't he upset about Hulda? He knows nothing about this girl and just knows she's lying and could hurt his whole family – how could he feel anything good at all, let alone romantic feelings toward her? None of it made sense and none of it fit and it actually felt kind of... bad. I mean, okay, the underlying story was interesting, I appreciate the idea of someone famous just wanting to be normal again and have a loving family again, and I like the idea of a family seeing through someone's completely obviously bad coverup story and taking care of the person anyway, but I DON'T like the lack of consequences, the complete inconsistencies in character development and plot, and how friggen rushed and horribly written the ending and the reveal was. This one was probably my least favorite story in the entire book, and left me feeling actively annoyed and disappointed.

The Girl Who Woke the Dreamer ; Laini Taylor - ★★★★★. 5/5. AND THEN THERE'S THIS ONE.

OH, MAN.

I almost want to just leave this review at JUST THAT cause holy shit how do you review this one.

It was SUCH a perfect ending to this book, I just, oh my god, it was so beautiful and perfect and wonderful and fantastical and FUCK THAT MINISTER MAN and idk it seemed all about the "fuck Christianity pro-nature pro-paganism" that I feel down in my bones and the depth of my soul, and I JUST COMPLETELY ADORED THIS STORY. idk other people might be able to say that it's "fuck a very specific kind of Christianity", which I get and agree with. But this "very specific kind" is like.. 99% of all people who follow it. Including all of history and what America was founded on and what people are trying to work into American law. So like. Yeah.

Enough about that though. Oh my GOD, this whole story and situation and everything about it. THE WRITING. OH, MY. THE WRITING. Holy shit I do not do favorite authors, but I think Laini Taylor just found her way into a spot amongst my favorites anyway. This is not the first story of hers I've read that has been written this beautifully, so I believe it's a consistent thing and I AM IN LOVE.

The only thing that made me sad was leaving all the other girls behind in the dust. So things went WONDERFULLY for Neve... but what about all the others? Are they going to be left behind to rot in unwanted, rape-y relationships? Was this society and the situation fixed at all? Was the shitty oppressive religion silenced in favor of the old one, the real one, the one that doesn't empower horrible people and punishes ACTUAL wrong-doings and sees all people as equals?

I sincerely hope so.

A BOOK COULD BE WRITTEN ABOUT IT TO ELABORATE.

Yanno. Just saying.

Oh my god I am so happy with all the diversity and differences and equality and YAAAAS in this book. SO HAPPY.

Things that could have made it all even better: A LADY-LOVE ROMANCE. Or some other form of gay relationship – like maybe someone who's bi! Or even ace or pan – THAT would've been wonderfully rare and unexpected!

I do realize that the average of my star ratings should put my overall rating at about.. a 3.8. But, seriously – the ones I loved, I loved SO MUCH, that it completely overrode any feelings I had about any of the ones that I didn't. They were just THAT GOOD, that I could ignore the meh ones' presences entirely and go right ahead and fucking love the entire compilation anyway.

I mean, it's not like I didn't appreciate the efforts and the stories and what all the others were trying to get across. Everything still had its own sweet or sad notes and it all still felt appropriately Christmas-y to me.

So, yeah, I can still honestly say I adored the whole book and would shove it in the faces of people who are in the mood for some cute romantic shit and are ready to barf Christmas everywhere. :D Barfing Christmas everywhere is my LIFE each December. So this is absolutely for anyone who does the same!

Those five-star stories I'll read YEAR-ROUND anyway, not even gonna lie, they were THAT GOOD. I'll barf Christmas in JUNE to re-read that shit.