#also i love how my pookie managed to give everything and nothing all at the same time

[snoopdoggs]

in the source link, you will find #220 475 ( 268x151 ) gifs of CHA EUN WOO in the korean-drama ' true beauty. (episodes 3 - 8 ) ' eun woo is of korean descent and was twenty-three at the time of filming, so please name and age him accordingly.

this pack will be updated as i gif the rest of the episodes. all of these gifs were made by me, from scratch, so please do not edit or redistribute them without my consent. please leave a like or reblog if you found these useful!

[kivino]

TAKE US BACK || ZOMBIE AU || KYLE ‘GAZ’ GARRICK X GN!READER

Word Counter – 6.4k words

Summary – The new world was rotten, and you rotted away with it. 

Tags/Warnings – Zombie AU (heavily twd coded, don’t expect some l4d type of stuff /lh. Death and turning after the bite ARE slower, however. For the sake of drama. obviously), gore, blood, gn!Reader, established relationship, heavy angst, major character death. 

A/n – So, this fic is my contribution to the spooky season! Special thanks to @mockerycrow for helping me with the pictures for the header, you're the best, pookie!!! I have a playlist for this fic too, so in case you want to read this with complete immersion I’ll link it here. Enjoy <333

also available on my ao3

upd. if you saw that unfinished paragraph you didn’t see anything, move along 👁️👁️

“Kyle, I think…I think I’m bitten.” was all it took to shatter him into millions of tiny pieces. Just like that. Nothing mattered anymore, even that you promised each other to stay alive, no matter what. In the back of his mind, he knew all those promises muttered into his lips while he feverishly kissed you were empty, shallow attempts to silence his mind, to make him sleep in peace, thinking you’ll be there no matter what. And of course, he didn’t doubt your words even for a split second.

Kyle knew he was a fool to believe that. To think the two of you were inseparable. In a world like this, how could one even think of something staying forever untouched by decay that spread far beyond the horizon? Rot overtook everything, and if something was still untouched by it, soon enough that wither would find a way to slither inside, spoiling it forever. It would even find its way into people’s minds, ruining humanity in a manner no physical disease could ever hope to damage them. Kyle and you have seen it happen far too many times, and his only wish was for you to meet your end together, peacefully. But now…he only wished he had the strength to go on, he truly did. 

Because you needed him. Now more than ever. 

And so, he kept trying. If he didn’t then both of you would be done for. You didn’t deserve that, not when all he wanted was for you to be safe and well, not caring much about himself. You were the one who saved him when all the shit went down, now it was time to return the favor. So, he pushed himself through every agonizingly slow day. But he was starting to feel the already feeble remains of his strength slipping away from him. He wouldn’t give up, however. Never. Not when your life depended on it. 

That’s why while you were bedridden, weakness setting in your body as a permanent, bitter resident, Kyle was scouring the old town for fever and cold medicine, trying to be as quiet as possible, not to attract any undead. He had a gun, but he did not use it – too loud and bullets were a luxury, not a commodity. Kyle only had one bullet, following the advice of a nice older man with mutton chops he remembered meeting in one of the survivor camps a long time ago.

“Always save the last bullet for yourself or your loved ones. You never know who’ll need it more”

Methods aside, recent days were spent wandering abandoned houses in attempts to find at least some food for the two of you. Only when the darkness started to settle, Kyle would head back, throwing his backpack over the fence and barely managing to climb it, sore muscles and empty stomach sending jolts of pain all through his body. Even then, he was restless, sitting by your side, wiping your forehead of sweat, and taking your temperature. Your breathing was strained, chest rising and falling under thin blankets that barely kept you warm. And each time he looked at you for more than a minute at a time he felt his insides twisting in pain, eyes getting white-hot with tears, and throat closing, barely letting him take a short breath just so he doesn’t suffocate in his misery.

And then the sun rises, warm rays painting the room in a variety of colors, falling over your face, morning birds wake up Kyle from his nightmare-filled sleep. He jolts awake from the dreams, filled with the image of you, dying in agony over and over, crying out for help, begging him to do something. You get torn apart, your intestines spilling out on the damp floor, pulled out by a crowd of the undead who devour you with vigorous hunger, biting into your flesh until he can’t recognize your face from the bloody and mangled pulp that rotting hands and jagged teeth turn you into. Your raw, pained screams haunt him even when he’s awake, observing you lose your life all over again. Much slower and in a much more painful way. 

The sun rises. And so does Kyle. Your desperate pleas that drag from the dream are muffled as soon as he sees you sleeping. Forgetting, that you were getting weaker with each day that passed. Choosing to bask in your tranquil glow, in the way your eyelashes fluttered while you slept, choosing to neglect the worry clawing on the back of his mind just to stay like this with you for a little longer. Kyle knew he couldn’t delay the inevitable, but he still decided to make the best out of the short amount of time he had left with you. Hoping that some miracle would happen and you wouldn’t succumb to the decay. That the bite would turn out to be a bad dream you both had on the same night, waking up from it in cold sweat, searching for the comfort of each other’s embrace, while letting out relieved sighs, realizing that you’re safe. 

That would be great, wouldn’t it?

Instead, he shakes you awake with a gentle hand, almost not wanting to wake you up from your slumber. You blink up at him, looking even more tired than before you went to sleep. Circles under your eyes are even darker than the previous night. And Kyle is in pain once again. He wants to help you up, throwing your arm over his shoulder, to lead you through the long, silent halls of the school where you were staying, full of dust and damp, moldy smell, to have breakfast together. Like good old times. But he sees that in your eyes, you’re too weak to pull your weight up and stand up. So, he brings the heated-up cans of beans here, putting one on a stool in front of you, helping you to sit up before he even thinks of touching his food.

“Kyle, that’s twice what I usually eat.” You mutter, watery eyes rising to him, sitting on the mattress in front of you with his legs crossed. He raises his eyebrow and his head shifts to the side in a questioning motion.

“Well, you have to eat plenty to recover.” He said, matter-of-factly. You stay silent, unwilling to have that debate right now. You barely managed to stay awake as it is. Let him think that you’ll get better, despite everything you saw together. Despite every rule that you’ve discovered. Let him live in the illusion, in the waking dream that all will be well if he tries hard enough. “Well, what are you waiting for? It’s growing cold” 

You didn’t realize that you’d been drilling the can of steaming beans in front of you with your glassy gaze for the past several minutes, submerged in your thoughts deep enough to suffocate. You pick up the spoon with a weak, shaky motion. Then your eyes fall on the can. Somehow, you knew that you wouldn’t be able to pick it up. Failing at something so simple…you knew it’d hurt your pride even more. So, you opted to push the tin closer to the edge of the stool.

Kyle glanced over at you, beads of sweat glistening on your forehead. He sensed the fatigue from you, lacing the air that surrounded you and leaving dark, oily traces over anything your fingers lingered on. You breathed sickness. Your hands, which were able to easily bash an undead’s head on the wall just several days ago, now could barely hold a spoon steady without it trembling and threatening to fall, spilling all the contents over the moth-eaten blanket. He felt his heart squeeze in pain, and he swore that something shattered inside of him once again. 

“Let me help you.” Although it sounded like an offer, Kyle didn’t look like he was going to let you debate it, shuffling closer to you, taking the spoon from your hand in a swift motion. You purse your lips, knowing that protesting that would be stupid. If it wasn’t for how weak and sick you were, and for a lot of other circumstances, it would be a cutesy moment. Your dear spoon-feeding you something? Please, one’s teeth would rot from how sweet it is. But now it was just another deep, bleeding gash on your pride. Kyle blows on the food, cooling it off and promptly moving it towards your mouth with his hand cupped just under the spoon. You obediently clamp your lips around the spoon. “There we go.” He gives you a small smile, but you see the melancholy in his eyes when Kyle wipes the corner of your mouth with his thumb. He means well, yet you can’t help but feel like you’re a burden to him. 

You loathed being like this. Being this weak. Fragile. You were able to fend for yourself, you had resilience and strength, but now you were just rendered useless, only dragging Kyle down, depriving him of the freedom to go on.

He’ll die if he continues like this.

You knew it. He was exhausted, and you’ve been like this for a little over a week. Survival wasn’t about skill anymore, it was about luck. You lost yours already, the moment rotten, jagged teeth sunk into the flesh of your forearm like it was butter, drawing the first blood. But Kyle, he…sooner or later he will lose his luck too. And it was apparent that it was coming sooner than you anticipated. A bullet he won’t be able to dodge. An infected scratch. An undead that he simply didn’t notice because of how tired he is. A bear trap in the vicinity of someone’s camp. Something will get to Kyle. Or someone. And thankfully, you won’t be here to witness it. Hopefully.

 “What are you doing? Where are we going?” You barely managed to mutter out, clinging to him with all the strength you had, which, to be fair, wasn’t a lot. He could feel the cold of your hands clasped around his neck even through several layers of his clothes. Kyle’s hands carefully held you under your thighs as he went up the stairs, not showing any signs of exertion except for beads of sweat on his temples. 

“Just thought we might watch the sunrise together, like good old days” You could hear the soft smile that tugged on his mouth when he said that. Another reminder for you that he probably loathed the way you lived right now and would prefer to go back to the way things were. With you not being his…burden.

You didn’t need to be reminded of this. Of the “good old days”. Finding that abandoned farm, deep in the buttcrack of the countryside was what saved the both of you when the world started going to shit. You and Kyle met each other years prior, but it didn’t matter anymore. Not when everything as you knew it was gone.

Hiding there gave you a sense of normalcy you missed so much, after having to live for months, years like an animal. You didn’t feel like the world as you knew it was falling apart beyond that fence with cracked white paint. Deserted fields full of dead crops, empty house with a bunch of stuff forgotten or thrown around messily - it was obvious the owners wouldn’t come back any time soon. Snooping around gave you too much information - you couldn’t help but feel a bitter burn on the back of your throat when you picked up a framed family photo from the fireplace, five tan faces staring back at you with perpetual smiles etched into the glossy paper. 

You didn’t have the gall to throw away or burn everything personal the previous family left behind. Photo albums, children's clothes and toys, diplomas, drawings, letters, posters, and even something as small as shopping lists on the fridge, five life stories were packed into several boxes, taped and put in the attic. Kyle didn’t understand your wish to preserve something that wasn’t even yours, but he didn’t interfere, choosing to give you a hand instead. If it helped you to sleep in someone else’s bed calmer, replacing the presumably dead strangers, he was willing to indulge you.

Despite how far away from the civilization this farm was, seeing an undead roaming around wasn’t a very rare occurrence, but at least you could handle the occasional walking corpses. You wake up, you go on patrol. You finish patrol, and you meet the sunrise with Kyle by your side, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, with a blanket thrown over the both of you, sitting on the front porch, right on the creaking stairs. These fleeting moments felt so right. Like home.

Eventually, you had to continue moving. Started to run short on supplies ever since then. Running into all sorts of different people, relying on strangers, leading a nomad way of life. It wasn’t unfulfilling, since you only needed the company of each other to keep it together. In a variety of groups that you’ve been through it was always a known fact that you’ll stick by each other before someone else.

All he needed was your loving hug when you came back from a supply run. A soft kiss that you would put on that scar right on his cheek. Or to hold your hand under the table when you sat down to eat with whatever group you were with this week, like your love for each other was a secret meant only for the two of you. All you needed was his warmth, his comfort, his mere presence, that would light up your shitty day like a damn light beam. He managed to take your breath away each time he looked at you with such gentleness and softness that sometimes you didn’t think you deserved it. You’ve found the world in each other. A purpose.

So what is Kyle going to do when you’re gone?

The morbid thought suddenly crosses your mind, while the man carefully sits you down on a worn lawn chair with a soft grunt, plopping down on the ground by your side, warm palm reassuringly resting on your thigh. Bringing you down to earth. Gusts of frosty wind brush through your hair, nipping at your cheeks, nose, and ears. You missed the outside, despite it being quite cold and unwelcoming this time of the year.

“I think the herd's close. See that dust?” Kyle taps you lightly on your leg and points towards the horizon. And true to his words, there is a fine dark line separating the sky, burning up in a mix of reds and yellows, from the earth. “They’re moving weird.”

“What does that mean?” you croak at Kyle, not able to peel your eyes from that sheet of gray, bunched-up dust that sat on the edge of the horizon like a shadow.

“Means if we’re lucky they’ll pass the school.” Kyle mutters, trying to reassure you, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze.

And then it clicks.

When he came back from the supply run you were nowhere to be found in the wind-torn building. There were no traces of you in the old cafeteria on the first floor where the two of you would heat up the canned food that your taste buds got used to over the long months the end of the world stretched over. Before you got bit.

He felt his heart sink to his stomach, so nauseous from the mere thought of something happening to you. Kyle fought himself not to double over, press his forehead against the wall and throw up everything you two had for breakfast until he feels the acidic burn on his tongue and cries his damn eyes out from the pain. You knew that the herd was getting closer, why did you have to disappear right now? You two were supposed to wait it out together, by each other’s side. What were you doing, and more importantly, what were you thinking? Nothing made sense. Nothing at all.

Kyle felt the wall with an awkward, stiff motion of his hand, before putting his weight on it and sliding down, he felt like his legs could not hold him anymore. You barely had the strength to sit upright, where would you go in your condition? 

The only place he could think of that was close enough for you to get to was the motor inn down the street. Of course.

The herd was already here. Kyle had no time to spare, he needed to act now, to get you and run away as fast as possible. He remembered there was a car in that old motor inn, so that could be your getaway plan, sure thing he could figure something out…and to get there…He can use that old trick that another group of survivors taught you two. “If you smell like them, they won’t notice you, simple as that. Just make sure not to bump into anyone, or they’ll get real friendly with you.” Of course. It was that easy. You never resorted to that trick, preferring to avoid or dispose of the undead on sight. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

Kyle cringed at that sinking feeling in his stomach, but not at the thought of having to walk through the herd and probably be eaten alive, no. The possibility of you not being in that motor inn was what made that hollow pit inside of him grow. The fact that he might never see you again. Or that he would find you already gone.

He moves with calculated precision. Catch the undead’s attention, yellowish whites are dull under the daylight. Let it get close enough, it groans with each movement, joints snapping and clicking. Make the undead lose its balance, kick it in the knee, and the rotting leg almost falls off under the force that Kyle unintentionally applies. Destroy the brain, put a hunting knife right to the forehead, and let it thud to the ground, finally at rest. He’s thoughtlessly going through the motions, every step ingrained into his consciousness, almost like second nature to him. Rips through the stomach of the undead, black, resinous blood oozing out. Sinks his hands in the intestines, they smell so strong Kyle tears up and gags, hands shuffling around clothes caked with dirt and grime, swiping putrid, nasty mass all over himself. But it’s nothing. It’s alright. It will be worth it when he finds you.

After that, everything he remembers is under a thick blanket of haze, accompanied by the smell. You never get used to it. He feels nauseous, his insides twisting in worry, gnawing and biting at his heart like a terrified, desperate dog. His eyes grasp onto anything, but all Kyle sees is the sea of rotting flesh all around him, groans and moans of the undead so echoing in his ears loud all he wants is to tumble to the ground and end it all. He barely breathes with how tight his chest is squeezing his heart, it feels like in a split moment his insides will collapse onto themselves, capturing him in this meat cage. He has to remind himself that he’s not doing it for himself, he’s doing it for you, only for you. Kyle has to let his thoughts travel to your voice, to the way your nose scrunched when you laughed, to the frown between your brows when you slept in his arms just so he doesn’t go mad. Stares from decomposing, milky white eyes with yellows, blues, and reds here and there felt like stabs right through him, each could be the last if he gave himself away.

He could be grabbed by any of the half-rotten hands with sickly yellowish bones sticking out like spears of the cavemen, bitten, dragged away, or devoured. But he pressed on through the seemingly endless crowd of the undead. He would be lying if he said it didn’t affect him. That abandoned motor inn was like a beacon right now, but his imagination still ran wild, his hope growing more and more dim with each minute spent away from you. He didn’t feel like any hero. Kyle was scared. Mostly for you, but he could feel the tremble in his knees at the mere thought of any undead in the crowd recognizing him as an impostor. If that happens, he won’t be able to mutter even a single word. Rotten fingers will dig into his flesh, tearing it apart and Kyle will meet his end like this, on the damp ground, abandoned and scared out of his damn mind.

When Kyle pressed himself against the closed door of the motor inn, he finally could breathe in again. It wasn’t the time for a break, however. He still needed to find you. He wanders through the dusty, ransacked rooms in a daze, fixated on finding any traces you left, noticing the old rusty car in passing. The getaway plan. If the two of you are lucky enough. Footprints in the dust. They look new, and similar to the ones on the soles of your old boots. He follows. Your thin blanket lies forgotten on the stairs. Kyle practically flies up to the second floor, picking up the blanket, while he’s at it. More footprints in the dust, door to some old office is left ajar.

First, you felt the smell. Then you heard him cry out your name in surprise. And then you finally saw Kyle. He’s a blur of red, black, and brown. Covered head to toe with blood, guts, rotting flesh, and dirt, you presume. A sad, heartbreaking sight. Kyle, however, doesn’t mind it and immediately runs towards you, falling on the floor with a loud thud, and you’re sure he might’ve scraped his knees with how hard he landed. His arms cage you in a tight hug and you hear him let out a shaky exhale. Tears start to sting your eyes when you feel him pressing your head into his shoulder, stroking you with a gentle motion. You weren’t sure if he was trying to comfort you or reassure himself that you’re real, and not a fragment of his imagination. Regardless, you manage to reciprocate the hug, raising one of your arms and wrapping it around his back.

All of these days you saved up your energy for the last push. You needed to get away from him. You couldn’t trust yourself to remain near Kyle anymore. Any moment you could turn. You felt it in the way your bones ached with every gust of wind, how your blood boiled under your veins and your vision turned even more blurry. And in that case, you’d be a threat to Kyle, possibly getting him at his most vulnerable. It didn’t matter that you’d be long gone by then, you would still never forgive yourself if there was any possibility of it happening. Because, deep down you knew. No matter how skilled and ruthless Kyle was with handling the undead…he didn’t have it in him to bash your head in. So, you only had one choice to ensure his safety.

Yet he finds you. Here. You could feel your cheeks burn from being so angry at him, for his lack of acceptance that you were on the brink, and all it would take for you right now to fall into the abyss would be a light gust of wind or a slight shove. But you couldn’t blame him. You thought a lot about what you would do if the roles were reversed. The scenario brewed in your mind, haunting those short hours you were awake and trapping you in restless dreams.

You would want to live in illusion too.

“There you are.” You could practically feel something inside of you crack when you catch his smile beaming at you. Kyle just went to hell and back to get to you. And he still finds it in himself to smile at you, wrapping the blanket around your shoulders with hurried, but soothing movements. You were so weakened by the bite that you couldn’t even find any strength to go down the stairs and get the blanket when you dropped it. Humiliating. “Come on, we have to go, now, we can’t stay here.” He tries to scoop you up in a warm hug again, but you dig your heels into the ground. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?” he looks at you again, trying to catch what is wrong,

“No.” Kyle looks you over, eyes open wide, expression of confusion and sadness on his face. Of course, he doesn’t understand.

“You don’t…have anything on you. Then how, how did you even…” You didn’t have any grime on you at all, looking like you just walked through the herd of the undead without any preparation. But then his eyes trail lower and he sees it. Your left hand, cuffed to the rusty radiator. Suddenly the wave of terror cuts through him, like a fine, thin string through a block of fresh clay.

You came here to die.

“They stop paying attention to you once you’re far along enough. So…I guess that’s it.” He hated you for saying that. God, he hated you so much, he wanted to cling onto your body and suffocate you, arms wrapped around you in weak, pathetic attempts to shield you from any harm. “I…I don’t have any time left.” Kyle felt like he got punched in the gut. Air squeezed out of his lungs, wheezing in pain that he felt for you, because of you, chest aching, tearing apart, and baring his heart under the cage made of bones. 

“No. No, no, no, no, you can’t say that! Why are you saying that?” And for the first time, since Kyle saw the bloodied, ragged teeth marks on your flesh, he broke down into minuscule, fragile pieces right in front of you. His voice trembled, frantic and exerted, refusing to believe you even dared to make peace with the inevitable. He grabs your shoulders firmly and his fingers dig into you so hard he can feel how cold you are through your clothes.

Key. He has to release you from the handcuffs. The herd was here, the way the floor vibrated under his feet, and the way gargled moans and sighs echoed outside made Kyle even more agitated. Where did you get those handcuffs anyway? It only takes a moment for him to remember. One of the supply runs that feels like a lifetime ago. Police station. Searching the bodies, or rather, what was left of them, for anything useful. You take out the handcuffs and show them to Kyle, telling him some kind of joke. He can’t remember what it was or the way you smiled, only that you made him laugh. 

He wished instead of quiet rasping he could hear your laugh again.

“Where is the key from the handcuffs, where did you put it?” Kyle jumped to his feet and started looking over the room in a hurry, suffocated by the fear of losing you. He was wishing, hoping that you would show him where you hid the key, somewhere, anywhere, Kyle needed to throw you on his back and run right this moment.

“Fuck, listen to me, listen. To me.” you tried to snap him out of his delirium, with your harsh tone, freezing palms digging the bloodstains Kyle left on your blanket “You know what you have to do.” He shook his head wildly, looking at you like were mad for even suggesting something like this. “I don’t want to become one of them! You have to make sure I won’t come back.”

“Have you lost your damn mind?! I-” Kyle didn’t understand you. How can you say, make a request like this? Something was fundamentally wrong and the bite, the illness were to blame.

“Have you?” you interrupted, pouring all of your strength into this yelling match. You didn’t care anymore. You felt your fingers going numb, black, inky spots dancing on the edges of your vision, taunting you in their vicious dance macabre. You did not have time for his lame excuses and whatever it was he was trying to be right now. “I’m asking you one thing, and you can’t even do that! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You couldn’t feel the way tears burned your cheeks.

“Listen to me, please! I’m not putting a bullet in your head; do I look like a fucking murderer to you?” Kyle pinches his brow in frustration, not even able to look at you right now. Every single suggestion and comment from you stings, fucking hurts and tears him open once again. Because you’re talking nonsense. Absolute bullshit. And you don’t even realize it, he thinks, blinded by your sudden chase after death.

“I’m fucking dying and you’re worried about not being a murderer? Are you being fucking serious right now?” You couldn’t believe your ears, quite frankly. It was the only thing that you had asked of him. The only thing that you wanted. To be finally released. You couldn’t bear it anymore. Your body working against you, living with the constant threat of turning any second, massacring and desecrating Kyle’s corpse as a bloodthirsty, disgusting creature, that will have your face, your body, your hands, and your voice, but not anything that makes you – you. No memories. No love. No inner strength and compassion. Just hunger and urge to slaughter, destroy, and ravage everything in your sight.

“You know that’s not what I meant! Why are you doing this right now?” Kyle felt like he was about to collapse into himself from despair. He couldn’t just do what you were suggesting. And you knew it, yet you chose to ignore it and refuse any acceptance? You always listened to him, even if you didn’t quite agree. You always were patient with him. What’s gotten into you now, what happened?

You don’t have any more time. That’s what happened.

“Oh, so I run away, trying to keep you safe so you live another day and see another one of these stupid sunrises, cuff myself here just so I don’t harm anyone and you can’t even do what I’m asking you to?!” Your voice rises to a volume you didn’t even know you had in you right now, after dragging yourself through the imitation of your former life for a little less than a week. To think your suffering so far lasted less than a week, yet you were ready to end it all right this moment.

Because you could feel it in your bones. You were close.

“Well, tell me, what’s the point of me living if you’re dead?!” You can hear the way his voice breaks in the end. Desperate. Pleading.

The silence rings in your ears with how loud it is. 

“I’m sorry.”  You croak at him after a short while, eyes trained on the dirty floor. Kyle chuckles, the sound that you love so much, but then it’s followed by a muffled sob. He kneels in front of you once again and your eyes rise to meet his. You can’t help but think that he looks even more beautiful covered in rotting guts, with his eyes full of light and love for a doomed failure like you.

It’s almost impossible to breathe from how hard your heart aches. God, you love him so much. You want to take all the pain from him with you, into the vile, putrid abyss. Kyle takes your hands in his. You’re terrifyingly cold. And he’s too warm. You feel tears rising to your eyes, prickling at them, as you fail at your attempts not to break down right now.

“I can’t stay mad at you when you make that face.” Kyle says with a small laugh that breaks into dry sobs, as his shoulders shudder violently with every single one, before he clings onto you, seeking comfort and reassurance, that you’ll be here. With him.

His embrace feels suffocating. It’s so tight you think any more pressure from him will break your bones into yellowish sharp daggers and fine dust. And you’d forgive Kyle if that happened. You’d forgive him for anything, quite frankly. Funny, how now you have the answer to what you would do if he was the one turning. You’d let him devour you wholly, in the ultimate show of love. You’d let him bite into you, whatever he wanted – neck, arm, a leg, he could have. You’d lay in the pool of your blood, muffling your pained cries by stuffing that worn blanket into your mouth. You’d slowly slip away into oblivion, letting your undead beloved gnaw on your bones and taste the love that would seep out of your flesh. You would probably turn a lot faster if that happened too. And then you’d be together for eternity. You knew Kyle always wanted you two to be together. Both in life and in death.

“I’ll wait for you. I promise.” You barely manage to squeeze a smile out of yourself to comfort Kyle, feeling your strength leaving you. Succumbing to the weakness that spread a dull ache over your body, to that festering rot inside of you, that was finally overtaking. You felt cold, thin digits of terror sink right through your chest, sweat prickling once again on your forehead and temples. There was no use clinging unto something that was unsalvageable. Your body and your mind were beyond repair. You knew it. Only he kept you here.

“Please…don’t leave me.” Kyle couldn’t feel anything besides the pain and hot needles jabbing his eyes. Your touch almost felt unreal, how weak, subtle it was. He tore away from you only for a moment, bloody palms cupping your face. His lips pressed against yours in a quick, feverish kiss, and even more pecks like this followed – to your forehead, eyelids, corners of your mouth, and nose. As if this would save you from inevitably losing the remains of your strength. As if you weren’t clinging to your last seconds with him as it is. “Please…please.” He whispered against your skin. His tears glittered like gemstones in the dim glow of the sunset. Kyle looked so beautiful like this. Yours.

He missed the moment when he stopped feeling short, warm breaths on his neck and your body started to get cooler to the touch. But he wasn’t ready to let you go just yet. A little more time, that’s all he needed. So, he lays your head across his lap, carefully, gently. Like he’s trying not to wake you up from a peaceful dream about places far better than this world. Kyle desperately tries to find that strength to make sure you won’t come back, to grant your last wish, but he just…he can’t. Now when you were right here, beside him, getting your well-deserved rest.

But you started stirring back to life unexpectedly, and just when Kyle wanted to say something, he realized, that it wasn’t quite you. The glazed-over eyes with a milky white cloud over them looked right through him, the blood that was dripping down from your nose, ears, eyes, and mouth after your brain finally shut off from the illness. The strained rasp, full of pain and hands that started grabbing and clawing at Kyle with crooked fingers, contorted into bizarre figures.

Kyle’s heart leaped down to his feet again in fear and he forced himself to push away your undead form, reaching out to him, pleading for something he no longer understood, as he crawled away, still facing whatever you turned into. If his heart wasn’t pumping blood through his body as fast he would’ve felt the small cuts from scraping his hands on the dirty floor. But his eyes were on what was left of you.

There were no traces of what he was searching for in this hollow shell, stolen from his love, stolen from you. Crimson trickling down from the mouth, the creature in your shape bares its bloody teeth and lets out a gargled moan, stretching the trembling hand towards him, demanding flesh, demanding sacrifice. And in Kyle’s mind, this isn’t you. This just can’t be. Absolutely not.

Kyle thought about the way you held him in your arms, while he gripped his shoulders in a tight hug. He thought of the way your thumb brushed over his knuckles. His thoughts traveled to the distant past, when you met him years ago in that summer camp, even before the world started rotting, only to be reborn a sick copy of itself.  He remembered your smile when you sat near countless bonfires. The way fire played in your eyes. Your old leather jacket, the tent in your old survivor camp, the older man with mutton chops.

It wasn’t long before a bullet was between his fingers, being drilled by his sharp eyes. Kyle sat there, silent, eyes trained on the gun in his hand, unable to even look at your cuffed undead. Contemplating. Letting his mind stir around, thoughts sticking to the inside of his skull, brewing and bubbling there, like heavy resin. Kyle’s heart sent waves of dull, ringing ache all over his body. His eyes were on fire, burning and raw from tears.

Nothing made sense anymore. Kyle’s endless search through his mind landed on another memory again. Survivor camp in the forest. Ring of mountains to the west. A woman with dark, brown eyes and a shaved head.

“Turning is not the end. They still harbor the memories of their former selves. They’re just prisoners in their own bodies. I know that it’s not the end for them, it can’t be.”

Right now, Kyle would’ve clung to any lie that would explain to him your state. He would’ve believed any tale. You can’t just be gone in an instant, just shedding all that made you yourself like a snake sheds its skin, or a bird picks out the old feathers. How could he ever accept that you were gone, like a puff of smoke on the wind, leaving no visible trace, only the gaping, bloody hole in his heart and years’ worth of memories in his head?

All he ever wanted was to be with you. In life and death.

A minute passes. Another one follows.

A single gunshot echoes through the valley, drowned out by the rumble of the herd.

Taglist - @mockerycrow, @stridersdiner

check out my other fics or send me a request/comment!

[hornyweasel]

i’m usually very easily entertained but i was left feeling rather empty after the finale, i do hope they fix their pacing issues for s3 and adopt a more show don’t tell attitude bc we’re tired

what annoys me most is the fact that season 1 was super fast paced and season 2 began with b&c and the twins killing e/o then NOTHING. i mean rook’s rest and the build up to it were rather good but you can’t have /nothing/ happen for the most part of three episodes at the very end of your season???

v disappointed at having been shown aemond looking at the pyre he created rather than seeing him actually do it or how/when/why he decided to do it when the whole season for him was about his descent into madness? reminds me of what they did to aegon at the end of s1, throwing shit at the wall and making it stick forcefully like?

speaking of aegon, what was the point of making him this horrible person just to turn back around and make him sympathetic this season….? i love tom to bits and he’s singlehandedly managed to make mr aeg one of my favourite characters but i really can’t wrap my mind around the fact that they made him a literal child r@pist in order to give rhaenyra a better claim only to make him this sad little pookie bear in s2 like….? ok

also the smallfolk? hello? going back to my argument regarding aemond, the only people we’ve seen him harm/kill were family/nobles, people that he had ties to and mostly (not you luke) had something to do with the war, SHOW HIM BEING CRUEL TO INNOCENTS IF YOU WANT HIS DESCENT INTO MADNESS TO HAVE IMPACT GODDAMN i don’t care about these nobles and their little family issues, i’m a left wing bitch, give me the people and their grievances and opinions on what’s happening. we only had dyanna and the madame for half a second + hugh who’s very compelling and i can’t wait to see his story moving forward but like. that’s it? mf they’re gonna kill the dragons, have them be more important BEFORE the last ever second before chaos (hey helaena and jaehaerys) i beg

the whole tyland arc? couldn’t we have had that earlier? or later? like… during the finale is INSANE 😭

showing tessarion in the teaser only for her to only appear at the end of the episode…? could have not teased it beforehand and let people feel that excitement when watching the episode bc i was expecting daeron to at least get off her and do a little one step two step but no it was the same literal thing as shown in the teaser like? ok (x2)

daemon having one facetime call with helaena and reverting back to being a rhaenyra loyalist and kneeling in front of her (and his men doing the same) at the very last minute when the whole season was about his self-entitlement and jealousy? make it make sense

at least alicent’s arc made sense, she spent the whole season chastising herself for her past decisions so it… kind of…. makes sense….. for her to turn her back on everything? she was never a righteous/selfless person so yeah i can let that slide

criston throwing all caution to the wind. we love to see it honestly but why would gwayne put him on blast in front of their troops like that 😭 homie that is your widowed sister the dowager queen 😭

rhaena… nobody moved. why is she chasing that damned dragon at her own peril? i mean i do get why but AGAIN you can’t just show us a glimpse of someone without having taken us through the whole process of them coming to that decision I’M SO PISSED OFFFFFFJFHRHFJFJFJ

p sure they’re going to merge maelor’s storyline with jaehaera’s bc why wouldn’t they? but also 😭 jaehaera and aegon not leaving at the same time or him not having been shown thinking about his only living child or wife or mother like????

also did we hear anyone call rhaenyra ‘the realm’s delight in s1’ because I don’t remember anyone doing that so it makes aegon using it so useless in regards to the gp like who the fuck knows what it means if they haven’t read the book and are just casual watchers?

[pilotheather]

k. finale time

ep 11 - dark water

preface this by me saying im doing dogshit right now so idk if im going to get through this ep in one go we'll see

again. kinda wish i saw these live. i bet the reveals in this finale were crazy. and again bugh... im thinking again about current who and sigh bc we're never gonna get that again are we. sorry i whined already. it was just nice to watch stuff with ppl even if youre, like, alone. now its just straight up alone. LOL.

like i dont even know what was happening at this time. do the reddit live reeaction threads exist from back then. did they know danny was abt to die right now. like was that leaked. im certain therre was missy speculation which speaking fo im excited to see her again. missy come home

like jesus fucking christ

WHY IS MADGE FREOM BENIDORM HERE I FORGOT SHEWAS LIKE CLARAS NAN HLEP ME sorry that took me out of it

CLARA YOU'RE SO FUNNY FOR THIS

THE WAY HE DOES NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF. "DANNY PINK IS DEAD." HE'S LIKE UM. AND? STOP. CHRIST.

why did it make the splunch.mp4 sound when she chucked it.

i think its funny. i still lowkey hate clara for season 7 and a lot of the... very irritating qualities written into her. but i am also kind of obsessed sometimes. i wish companions could be wretched cunts like this more often.

i keep thinking about how much i'd kill myself bass boosted if i did manage to actually off myself properly and there was still more. and if chris addison was the one there to tell me that.

hi missy

shes so funny shes so funny fo rhtis everything about missy is maybe the funniest fucking thing conceieved i need moffat desperately for this in retrospect this is such an insanely thing to do with the master but also shes just havbing fun

THE WAY SHE JUST JUMPS HIM LIKE CHRIST ITS SO GOOD

"My heart... Is maintained by the Doctor..." "Doctor... Who? 🤨" "... 🥺............... DOCTOR CHANG!!! 🤬"

i forgot how kinda dopey these cybermen looked

guys i miss the s10 finale

i need her so bad 👆

ep 12 - death in heaven

its funny i dont remember that much from this finale but comparatively i swear i rate it like. relatively highly as being pretty solid.

thats not saying jack shit so many of the finales are dog shit

OSGOODDDD YOUR RELENTLESS SLAYYYYY

"87. Ocd." help me.

i forget help why did you sedate him youre insane

the really dodgy fucking crowd outside saying the mos t obvious shit is making me giggle. also ilove this absolute bullshit scifi mumbo jumbo, even worse than usual, like i forgot they did it like this. like what the fuck are you talking about. the rain forming perfect metal suits around them. hang on does it have a name

https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/Cyber-pollen

you're lying to me (<- he would later find out they said this in the episode)

i wish they'd done something with the designs to make it look more organic and to make it look like it literally grew over the corpses. i get that that would be more expensive but it would be tight as fuck. i love it when the cybermen lean into horror more.

why did they make him the president. its so messy.

clara just yapping

also classic fucking moffat giving his special little girl the same birthdya as doctor who fuck off man.

isnt it crazy how missy and 12 are so toxic yuri

its bewildering to me how danny is somhehow the only one that did not hit that fat delete button like i guess ok fin hes one of the last few in there but help me. is there really no one else. i guess if you simulate them ALL feeling eerything they would all jsut delete in the end but still

Permission to squee!

YOU, DOCTOR, ARE A HATER.

THE THANK YOU AND THE LITTLE KISS IS SO FUNNY

IT JUST SENDS ME INTO HYSTERICS THE WAY THIS WHOLE TIME CLARA IS JUST HUGGING HER METAL BOY TOY.

SOLDIERS

WE MUST FIGHT IN THE KILL YOURSELF WAR

EVERYONE. FLY UP AND EXPLODE RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

"All of it is on you." GIRL HE DID NOTHING

BRIGADIER JUST THERE LIKE EHRM. 🧍‍♂️

danny you are such a little angel baby pookie pecan pie with sprinkles and cherries

this is so fucking rough man

imagine if this was 12 and clara goodbye. help me. that would have been so funny

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Team Tokyo First Years + Mario Kart headcanons 

(Ft. Yuji, Megumi, Nobara, you & commentary from Sukuna)

This disaster happened because Yuji was bored. Isn't this how most shenanigans at Jujutsu Tech start?

Yuji was going through old boxes he never unpacked. Yeah, it's been months. He's lazy.

He found this one that he didn't pack himself. He pulled it out of the storage closet when Gojo helped him move from Sendai to Tokyo and he just grabbed it

He wonders what's in it

Its mostly full of cords he has no idea what they go to, a couple of headphones and

uwu what's this

Oh my gOD IT'S HIS WII

This thing is 12 y/o he hadn't seen it in at least 6 does it even still work

Looks like the controllers and cords are here let's plug it in

IT WORKS

Oh god it's so old

Okay what games are there

Just Dance, Wii Sports, Mario Kart, Cooking Ma-

MARIO KART OH GOD THE NOSTALGIA

This was his absolute favorite game to play as a kid

Can you believe he's never played it with anyone else?

He's gotta get the gang here

He texts the group chat and proposes they have a game night

Surprisingly the students answer his text really quick; Gojo seems to be off doing who knows what

Megumi knocks and lets himself in. He's only here because he has nothing better to do. That and if he had ignored the text all Yuji would do is bang on the wall or worse- come to his door

Nobara barges in as usual- why is she carrying so much stuff

Guess who just got free LED lights for their room to "set the mood?" 

Uhhh Nobara why are you wearing a tracksuit it's fucking Mario Kart

Oh she's very serious about this

At least she brought snacks

You didn't even read that Mario Kart was involved you just wanted to hang out with Yuji

Okay let's get started Megumi wants to go home even if he is enjoying the bonding time

Nobara curls up in Yuji's bed as if it's her own; Megumi picks a comfy spot on the floor with his back against the bed; Yuji chooses his beanbag chair; you pick [Yuji's lap, next to Megumi w/ your legs across his lap, cuddled up with Nobara]

While Yuji picks out the perfect playlist to play from his speakers, Nobara takes the liberty of going through the Wii.

She has to make herself a Mii it's a rule

This takes like thirty minutes by itself

She edits Yuji's Mii to look more like him (since he made it when he was about eight) and names it Himbo

She makes you a Mii while over-exaggerating your height (by making it very short or very tall) and names it Pookie

She makes Megumi a Mii real fast and names it Cranky BitchBoy

Yuji tells her to be nice

She changes it to Emo Sea Urchin

Good enough

After an hour passes, they're finally ready to play

Except Yuji only put batteries in one controller and he has no batteries

They tear his room apart before finally stealing batteries from his headphones and remotes

Nobara waits until now to announce she can only race with the steering wheel

....and Megumi prefers the nunchuck to motion controls are you fucking-

Yuji tears the box apart and manages to find a fucking steering wheel and a fucking nunchuck

Okay, can we start now?

Mario Kart: Wii!! Wahoo!

Alright; should we play teams or-

"It's bad enough I have to work with you guys in real life, no"

You and Nobara are on team red, the boys on team blue

She makes it very clear she's going to make them eat her dust

She didn't say it that way btw, that's the most polite way of putting it

Yuji chooses Waluigi because he's a meme and makes funny WAAAA noises

Megumi chooses Yoshi because he's a medium character. Medium characters have a field advantage because smaller characters get bumped around while larger characters have drag. Also-

Nobara chooses Daisy because "Damn they made her so thicc".

You choose [character]

Yuji is so eager to play he doesn't care what kart he chooses

Megumi takes forever to decide between a kart or bike and finally chooses the Sneakster

Nobara chooses the Mach Bike bc of how it makes her character look

You choose [cart/bike]

You four argue over what course to do

So you end up taking turns choosing

Nobara pauses halfway through the first race because her character won't fucking turn

Yuji insists it isn't the controller so they trade for one round

Its the controller

Upon further inspection, it was deemed that it looked like the controller had been soaked in some sort of juice

It was the grape soda incident of 2010

Okay gotta get a new controller

Okay it's fixed

Yuji forgot 1) he was player one and 2) he wasn't Yoshi (his normal character) and spent two laps staring at the wrong screen

He still finished 11th. Nobara finished 7th, you finished 3rd and Megs finished 2nd

Yuji ended up catching up really fast until he started showing Nobara tips

See Nobara claimed she knew everything about the game

So Yuji showed her how to flick the remote when she jumped and how to hold the go button down when the countdown was at 2 

She rlly did leave him in the dust

Yuji and Nobara lean their whole bodies with the controller while Megumi sits completely still

Nobara gets way into this game I stg she screams and yells and kicks her feet I hate it

She tries to bump your and Yuji's controllers to throw you off

"Noba-chan, I'm on your team"

"I don't give a fUCK STOP BEATING ME"

"IM ON YOUR TEAM"

"AHHHHHHHH"

Slap fight ensues

At some point, Toge comes and knocks on the door because he can hear the screaming from all the way down the hall

"Are you guys...okay?" -Inumaki language

Nobara just complains, so he leaves

You and Megumi are so fucking good at this game

Nobara starts targeting you two with shells until she realizes you're on her team and they don't hurt you

"Truce?"

All you can do is sigh

At some point, Sukuna comes out 

He thinks he's a sports commentator

He announces every little thing, like when someone falls or gets shelled

Which always makes Yuji look away from his screen

Sukuna proceeds to bully Yuji for running into walls, falling off, etc.

You laugh but quit when Yuji pouts

Nobara doesn't stop laughing

Despite Yuji being an idiot and having to be carried by Megumi, blue team wins

Nobara throws her controller and screams some more

Yuji breaks out into hysterics for some reason

Megumi sighs. He gets ready to go home but-

"Sit down Fushiguro that was just a warm-up round"

Okay, fine, he'll just beat her again

Nobara pulls you and Yuji to the side

"We gotta beat Fushiguro"

Yuji was bribed with food

No teams this time

"Let's do Rainbow Ro-" "NO" 

Daisy's Circuit it is 

"Hey Yuu-chan can I play a song"

"Sure name-chan"

"Hey Alexa play Move Bitch by Ludacris"

AHAHAHHAHAHA MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY

This is Nobara's song. She is invincible with this song.

Maybe it really was a warm-up round, Nobara is doing much better this time

She's in first place

It looks like Megumi is getting bored, he's falling back, losing his lead

Now if his calculations are correct, when you're in last place you're more likely to get-

Bingo

"Kugisaki, do you love me?"

"What the fuck, are you going soft on me Fushigu- don't you fucking dare"

"Goodbye Kugisaki"

"STOP STOP HOW DO I AVOID A BLUE SHELL ITADORI"

"YOU CAN'T YOU'RE FUCKED"

"FUCK FUCK FUCK"

Nobara doesn't finish the race due to the fact she is throwing a temper tantrum. She throws her controller so hard she breaks the wheel, controller and puts a dent in the wall

He hides it with a poster btw

Megumi wins.

"Avenge me, name-chan"

"Noba-chan we have one last race we can still beat him"

Nobara is PUMPED

Oh my god when no was looking Megumi chose Rainbow Road

Okay pause

Whoever falls off the most is gonna be the person who fell of the least's bitch for the week

Sinister laughing ensues

In conclusion: Yuji is now your bitch

Yujikuna gets bitchslapped for making dirty remarks

Nobara is the first to tap out due to lack of controller and ends up feeding you chips while you race

You tap out and end up snuggling with Nobara as the boys pull out another game that's two player

You two fall asleep while watching them bicker over which way to go

Megumi pauses the game and the boys just end up scrolling through their phones and talking-

-Until Yuji falls asleep in the beanbag chair

Finally, Megumi can go back to his room...

...Except, you three are so cute

Its kinda like a sleepover

Y'know, he doesn't hate you guys

He's just really bad at emotions

Should he stay

Yuji does have another beanbag he can crash on

...He'll just say he fell asleep going through Twitter or something

Goodnight... Friends

[baldwin-montclair]

Baldwin’s Nightingale (Part 13)

Characters: Baldwin Montclair/OC

Timeframe: After the S1 Finale, TV Show canon MOSTLY with some S2, Shadow of Night and Book of Life.

Summary: Whilst Baldwin deals with business away from Sept-Tours, Alisha copes with his absence and the impending wedding.

Tag requests: @christi14 @poemfreak306 @pookie-cleary @hofficoffi @stormyheart326 @simplytimeless @wonderlander594

The Story So Far

Alisha tossed and turned for two hours after Baldwin’s departure. She would never have imagined that sharing a bed with someone for just two nights would so spoil her for when she was then left to sleep alone.

Getting comfortable seemed like an impossibility, she was either too warm with the covers over her or too cold without them, she missed the heat regulating coolness of her vampire’s skin and the feeling of safety in his arms. The loss of this made her think of the first time she had it, their first night as husband and wife.

When he was so initially so gentle he seemed almost fearful that he’d break her if his movements within her were too insistent.

Tormented by the memories of their various intimacies, she gave up on the fruitless quest for sleep and instead got up, pulling on her underwear and Baldwin’s discarded shirt before wandering over to a small table where Alain had placed the chest containing her ‘dowry’.

Alisha picked it up, finding it surprisingly heavy, and brought it to Baldwin’s desk where she sat and opened it once more.

She gradually emptied the contents onto the desk, the folded papers that spoke of wealth contained in both stocks and properties, and, the glittering jewels.

With everything on the table in front of her, she noticed an old parchment style letter complete with seal.

Madame De Clermont.

The name on the front was not written with either a ballpoint or a fountain pen. It was clearly a quill, making the letter old, how old she wasn’t was sure.

In truth, she’d never opened a letter like this before and tried cracking the seal with the Ouroboros depicted. That then allowed her to unfold the parchment and frown at the almost unintelligible writing.

It took a moment to focus on the characters before she was able to decipher it.

Daughter,

The fact that you are reading this should already inform you that I am no longer of this world and greatly regret not having had the chance to meet you.

I write this letter in the hope that it will one day be opened although I have long feared it will not be. If I am wrong in this, please know that there would be no-one more delighted to be mistaken than I.

My wife will guide you in what it means to be Madame de Clermont, she is my right hand, as my son will need you to be for him. Heed her advice in all things as she knows well how to manage difficult men. Love and obey my son and you will find no greater, nor more loyal a protector.

Let me also take this moment also to stress that it does not matter to me whether or not you are of our kind, nor is it a prerequisite that you be changed. Even an old man can learn when he is wrong, and, consequently, hope that his past folly has not deprived a most beloved son of his happiness.

If Lucius loves you and you love him, you both have my blessing.

Your Grateful Father,

Philippe de Clermont

Alisha sat back in the chair, pulling Baldwin’s shirt tighter around her in a vain attempt to feel close to him, much in the same way she’d given him the ribbon.

Oddly, she no longer noticed an aroma of church incense on him as she had when they first met, clearly he’d just attended mass with a liberal use of the cloying smoke.

Now, his burning campfire scent mixed with the notes of rich leather served to perfectly sum him up, both attempts to control and utilise nature, conquer it, prove oneself above it.

Civilised.

As soon as there was light, Alisha was ready for her walk, just around the grounds of the fortress but enough for the cold November air to keep her alert.

The place was peaceful and she didn’t encounter another person, for around ten steps, when Gallowglass jogged out the door behind her.

“Mind if I join you, fancy a walk!” He asked the question that was in no way a question.

“I don’t mind, and I’m sorry.” She glanced across at him.

“Sorry?”

“Baldwin has put you on me-sitting duty whilst he’s away,” she smiled and shook her head when he opened his mouth to protest, “don’t worry, I’m not about to make your job harder. In fact, tell me what his command is and I promise I will help you stick to it.”

“I’m grateful for your offer Auntie, but a command from Baldwin is no a thing that bears repeating.”

“Alright,” she thought to herself, “then give me the jist.”

“The jist,” he stroked his scruffy chin in thought, “is that whilst you are outside, I am not to let you out of my sight.”

“Wow,” she whistled, “that’s more restrictive than I thought it would be.”

“Really?”

“Yes, who’s going to step foot on De Clermont land?”

“There are other ways to snatch someone than on foot.”

“There’s really not.”

“Please tell me you know that some witches can fly?”

She laughed at this.

“What, like on a broom? I think you’re making fun of me.”

“No broom needed, I’ve seen it, I swear!”

“Okay,” she regarded his expression, and believed him, “good thing my only threat comes from a vampire and not a witch.”

“When the congregation finds out about you and Baldwin, the only creatures who wont resent you will be your own kind, and us here, obviously.”

“I appreciate that, and you’re being so welcoming, even if having to follow me around is kinda super unfair to you.”

He had to chuckle at that but even through his cheerful exterior, there was a hint of sadness.

“Trust me, it’s not the least fair task I’ve been given,” he shook his head and the cloud of heaviness dissipated, “and what else am I going to be doing?”

“Planning more mischief with Marcus?” She suggested.

“Unfortunately not, Granny’s sending him to London to collect some miniatures from an auction house.”

“Well, since you’re stuck with me, I have a question for you.”

“Hit me.”

“Do you remember a party here in the past? Something to do with Baldwin’s father and his support for a French King.”

“Henry of Navarre?”

“Yes, were you here?”

“How do you know about that?” He asked with a hint of uncertainty.

“The tapestry, Marthe didn’t know much about it because she and Ysabeau weren’t here. So, were you?”

“I was.” He admitted.

“Then you’ll know, why was the tapestry moved, what happened at the party?”

“It wasn’t a party, Cicogna, the Venetian Doge brought his entire court, they were supposed to be here for a week but one of his musicians was killed. It was blamed on a spy in Sixtus’ retinue. Grandad gave his support for Navarre anyway. Nothing really happened.”

“You count a murder as nothing happening?”

“Just one murder? Aye!”

“Then why did he have the tapestry moved?”

“No idea, Why do you want to know?”

“Honestly?” She asked him.

“Yes.”

“It’s a mystery, I have a fraction of a story and it drives me a little crazy.” She confided.

“So you married a notorious secret keeper?” He asked.

“Fair point,” she smiled.

“Auntie, the past is not something you need to worry about, you’re his mate and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you Gallowglass.”

Alisha couldn’t help but recognise the strangeness in his statement.

If the present mattered because she was indeed Baldwin’s mate, she wondered what happened in the past that, according to Gallowglass, she needn’t worry about. It did make her think on Philippe’s words, to what ‘past folly’ was he referring.

Perhaps she really wasn’t getting to quench her idle curiosity and decided it not worth causing upset just to learn some gossip.

“So, wedding?” He changed the subject.

“We’ve agreed to give the go ahead.”

“I know, Baldwin spoke to Granny earlier, you did well to escape without her catching you.”

“He called, earlier?”

“Yes, and no, you cannot speak to him or see him before the church.”

“What,” it was her turn to stop, “I can’t see my husband for how long?”

“Jesus, the wedding’s in two days, I’d happily take not speaking to your husband for two millennia if it was on offer.��� He chuckled.

“Two days?” She asked, feeling the blood drain from her cheeks.

“Granny works fast, I think she made most of the arrangements before she even got off the phone. We do have a seamstress on staff mind you, so that won’t be a problem, just do as Victoire says, she’s the one with the sewing needle.”

He stopped, his expression turning to one of concern.

“Aw hell, here,” Gallowglass directed her over to a low wall, “sit there, head between your knees before you faint on me.”

She followed his direction without argument, as he hovered nearby, not sure what to do. The vampire custom was clear on not touching the mate of a higher rank vampire but his compassion was at war with this rule.

“Maybe the whole wedding thing has made more of an impact on me than I thought,” she agreed, “are you all religious?”

“Both myself and your husband were pagan, Baldwin obviously much earlier, but Philippe would not have that, we would be Christian, serving one master.”

“God or Philippe?”

“They were both one in the same, I think he could relate, one heavenly father overseeing his children, and he did inform most of the Church doctrine.”

“You’re telling me that Baldwin’s father wrote the Bible?”

“No, I’m telling you that Grandad had a very firm hand in deciding which accounts made it into the final canon.”

“That is...terrifying.” She admitted.

“Why?”

“It doesn’t ever concern you just how much power and influence your family have had over the past two thousand years?”

“Closer to three thousand, and it’s your family now too Auntie.”

She nodded gravely, the responsibility Ysabeau had mentioned suddenly becoming painfully clear.

“Come on, you need to eat something.”

Alisha had no idea how much of an event breakfast was in Sept-Tours, tea, coffee, juice, bacon, eggs, pastries and so much fruit.

She couldn’t do much more than pick at croissant as the table bustled with conversation between every inhabitant of the fortress.

“Isn’t there anything I can do to help?” Alisha asked Ysabeau, who was sitting with Margaret on her knee, the child staring adoringly up at the vampire.

“It is already in hand.”

Alisha had the sneaking suspicion that Ysabeau already had most of the arrangements made before they arrived at Sept Tours, and knew that her step-son would relent.

“After breakfast we will have Victoire make some preliminary measurements for your gown.” Ysabeau’s eyes drifted to the different coloured ribbon around Alisha’s wrist, a ghost of a smile on her expression.

“Have you invited my aunts,” Marcus asked her, “and my cousin?”

“Baldwin will notify Miyako himself but I have invited Verin, Stasia and Freyja.”

“Aunt Fanny’s already in France, she’ll be here before the wedding, I guarantee it.” Marcus smiled, looking forward to seeing Freya.

“What about your father, Marcus? Matthew and his wife...Diana? Are they not coming?” Alisha asked him, causing a weight of silence to fall over the table.

“They won’t be able to make it, unfortunately.” Ysabeau answered.

She realised that Baldwin hadn’t actually told her what had happened with them.

Judging by Ysabeau’s tone - and the way everyone was suddenly studying their breakfast - now was not the time to find out.

“Where is the ceremony happening?” She asked instead.

“Saint Lucien,” Ysabeau seemed relieved by the change in topic, “it will be a Catholic ceremony, if there are no objections?”

“N-no, of course not. What can I do to help?”

“You can learn the Latin phrases you are expected to say and under no circumstances are you to speak with or see Baldwin until the wedding.”

Her cell had been broken by Christina several days prior and without a replacement, it would be easy for Ysabeau to enforce this rule.

“I understand,” she accepted, “and I want to thank you, for everything you’re doing for us, I really appreciate it. I’m sure Baldwin does too.”

Ysabeau almost corrected her, she was keeping a promise, nothing more.

“You are welcome,” she said instead, surprised that her rules had not prompted an appeal against them.

Ysabeau’s gaze was that of appraisal, like she was sizing Alisha up for some unknown purpose, task, role.

The rest of breakfast passed in general conversation until Victoire arrived to collect Alisha for her fitting.

Ysabeau watched until she was gone.

“I do hope Freyja is on her way,” she told Marcus, “if Verin and Stasia arrive first, they will eat that poor girl alive.”

“To get an accurate measurement, you must take those off.” The vampire told Alisha.

“O-okay.” She answered, hesitantly removing the warm, bulky sweater, jeans and vest until she was standing in just her underwear.

“Our priest is...conservative, which means that there will be no bare shoulders or arms.” Victoire decreed as she measured around Alisha’s waist.

That’s when she remembered, the very obvious hickie on the inside of her thigh that she’d noticed in the shower that morning.

She could only hope that Victoire either did not see it or would be too polite to mention it.

It had been acquired during Baldwin’s deliciously cruel teasing the night before, clearly it was some primal impulse to put a physical mark of his claim upon her.

“I don’t mind,” Alisha rushed to protest, “I trust you, with the design.”

In truth, she just wanted the two days to be over and was willing to do whatever it took to make them pass as smoothly as possible.

She started to believe Baldwin was mistaken, about the mate bond, it didn’t just lie with him. When he left, she felt a distinct tug at her heart that was, throughout the day, starting to feel like a vast chasm was opening up, hollowing her out.

“You will be beautiful on the day Madame, I guarantee it. You shall even render Sieur Baldwin speechless!”

Just as she was about to respond, the door to the room opened and a tall, blonde and stunning vampire entered.

“Um, hi!” Alisha greeted, still standing, in her underwear.

“Freyja,” the woman answered simply, as though that was explanation enough, “do you know who I am?”

“Baldwin’s sister?”

“One of them,” she answered with a smile, giving Alisha a frank up and down appraisal, “I’m here to help prepare you for the ceremony.”

“Ysabeau said I have some phrases to learn, in Latin?”

“You...do not speak Latin?”

“No.”

“French?”

“Nope!”

“I suppose it would be pointless to ask how familiar you are with Ancient Greek?”

“Not pointless but the answer would still be nuh-uh.”

“I assume Baldwin chose me as your chaperone due to your...unfamiliarity with our ways.”

“But Gallowglass-“

“Is your guard, do not leave this building without him.”

“Yeah, he already warned me of the hazard that is flying witches.”

“Good, dear Matthew’s mate Diana was taken from here by a witch, one who possessed the power of flight.”

“What happened to her?”

“Tortured, they were lucky to get her back alive.”

“They?”

“Matthew and Baldwin mounted a rescue. He didn’t tell you?”

“No.“

“I’m sure he will, he simply does not want to worry you with inconsequential threats. Baldwin has no patience for fragility, of body or of spirit but you seem to be the exception.”

“I’m not fragile.”

“Of course you are, and I am not saying that as an insult. You’re a warmblood, a musician too I hear. Not a warrior but we have enough of them in this family already. We will find a role for you, one that will suit your sensibilities.”

“A role? I’m getting married, not applying for a job.”

“Everyone in the family has a role, a purpose that furthers the de Clermont cause.”

“I though my role would be to support my husband.”

“Would that be enough for you? Would you not like to carve out your own function?”

Freyja’s words resonated, she never really thought about her place in the family beyond that of an extension, attached but not entirely a part of it.

“What role could I possibly fulfil that has not already been taken?”

Freyja’s smile was triumphant.

“We can figure that part out together!”

“Is that why he asked you to help me?”

“I have some more modern ideas when it comes to preparing the uninitiated for their new life. Verin and Stasia would not be as patient, I’m afraid. He must really care for you, to admit that a kinder approach is sometimes appropriate. My brother does not like to admit when he is wrong.”

“And Did he?”

Freyja snorted.

“Of course he didn’t, his request for my assistance was admission enough.”

“I have what I need for now Madame, we will have a fitting tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Victoire.” Alisha gave the woman a grateful smile.

“Wait,” Freyja told Victoire whilst keeping her eyes on Alisha, “I assume you would like to keep the dress intact after the wedding?”

“I would, yes.” Alisha agreed.

“Victoire,” Freyja turned back to the seamstress, “please keep that in mind when you are devising the fastenings. A newly mated pair kept apart for two days and nights, too many buttons and the dress will not survive.”

Alisha stifled a smile at the vampire’s candour as she pulled her clothes back on before Victoire left them.

“We need a man to give you away at the ceremony.”

“I’ve probably spent the most amount of time with Gallowglass so far-“

“It cannot be Eric, or Marcus, Baldwin’s their uncle. Ideally it should be a daemon.”

“The only daemon male I know is Nathaniel.”

“Perfect, ask him. It should also help with securing the daemon’s vote in the congregation, their leader is his mother after all!”

Alisha read over Philippe’s letter for the tenth time, taking time she should have been using to get ready for dinner. Meal times seemed to be an event in general in Sept Tours.

There was something regretful in the words of the deceased patriarch, guilt too, perhaps. Still, sitting at the desk was not going to urge her up to get ready and she reluctantly stood.

At the door to the shower room she heard a noise, the unmistakable sound of a phone vibrating, the cell phone Nathaniel had given her - alongside his agreement to give her away - ringing on the bedside table.

“Is everything okay?” She said as she answered the call, already knowing, in her bones, who it was.

“And hello to you as well Sweetheart.” Baldwin’s tone was teasing.

“Two days Baldwin! Our wedding is in two days.”

He was silent for a moment then sighed.

“I know,” he admitted, “Ysabeau works faster than even I give her credit for.”

“Surely you’ll be back by then, I’d kind of like you to be there!”
”I will be, I promise.”

“I hope so, Victoire has already measured me for my dress.”

“Oh?”

“Yep, and luckily your mark went unnoticed by her and Freyja.”

“Mark?”

“Let’s call it a token of affection,” she rolled her eyes, “that you so kindly bestowed on me last night with your merciless teasing, on your desk.”

“Ah,” he answered in understanding, “I am sorry, I forget how easily warmblood skin bruises.”

“So it wasn’t deliberate, a plan to mark your territory?”

“When I’m between your thighs, I don’t have the presence of mind to formulate a plan.”

“It’s really mean to talk like that when you’re so far away and I’m all alone in a big bed tonight. I might have to please myself.”

“Do something for me.”

“Record and send it to you?”

“N-“ he stopped.

“Well?”

“I’m thinking.”

“Stop,” she giggled, “what were you going to say?”

“I was going to ask you to wait. There’s no way Ysabeau will let me near you until the wedding anyway.”

“Are you asking me to ‘save myself’ for you because that ship has hoisted anchor by this point.”

“Two days, wait for me?”

“I can do that,” she agreed with a smile.

He went silent for a moment.

“Baldwin?”

“I’m sorry, for almost depriving you of this wedding. Everything happened so quickly I just didn’t think having this was something I-“

“Needed?”

“Deserved.”

“You’re a good man Baldwin, you deserve to be happy.”

“Good men don’t live as long as I have.”

She wasn’t sure what it was about conversation over the telephone that lent itself to such openness from him. Still, the sound of a door being knocked on the other side of the line stopped her from answering.

“I have a meeting before the Congregation hearing so I must leave you now Sweetheart.”

“Then go be big boss man,” she encouraged, “try not to kill anyone, and remember that I love you.”

She hung up just as Freyja breezed into the room.

“I would turn that off and hide it if I were you. Ysabeau is very strict with rules!” The woman headed straight for the wardrobe.

“I have to go wash up.” Alisha got up and made her way to the door, hearing his voice made the separation much more difficult and she had to pull herself together, preferably not in front of her sister-in-law.

“Take your time,” Freyja stated with sympathy, “no red eyes at dinner, and I’ll leave this dress out for you to wear. My sisters will be in attendance and I will help you make a good impression.”

___

PART 14

[pinkevilbobdoesthings]

Okay so I forgot to post it here, so here it is now @eyeloch‘s birthday fic “Take Me Far, Far Away From Here”.

____

Clang! Clunk! RATTLERATTLERATTLE!!! HISSSSSSS!!! “Is the engine supposed to make that kind of noise?” Beau called out.

“Not really!” Jester shouted back. The engine on the MISTake had been on its last legs for a long while, but Jester had always managed to keep it going for one more trip. Though this time, it might be the last one.

Fjord poked his head out of the cockpit. "Well, can you fix it?"

"Kind of? I mean I can keep us from dropping out of space and kind of moving forward," Jester said, "but beyond that we're going to need to get supplies to fix it or yo know, actually get a new engine that works."

"That's out of our budget," Fjord said.

Jester groaned. It was always out of their budget. They ran a bunch of small jobs around the empire, but never seemed to be able to save enough to give the MISTake the upgrades it needed. "Fine, I should be able to get some odds and ends to fix it when we get to Zadash station. We're close right?"

An awkward silence filled the air. "Don't tell me Fjord got us lost again," Nott groaned from the gun turret. "I thought you had Caduceus navigate this time."

"He needed to take care of dinner," Beau said. "And he keeps turning off the maps on accident." Cad was the best cook Jester had ever met who was willing to work on a cramped, barely working ship, but technology was completely lost on the firbolg.

"It will be ready in 15 minutes," Cad called out.

"Why can't we just talk in the same room like normal people?!"

Jester shrugged. "I've been meaning to add in some com channels, but first I need a new engine."

"I know, I know." Fjord sighed. "We're close to an old outpost. It looks like it still has life support there, so we can dock there and it might even have the supplies we need."

"And if it doesn't, we can at least get out of this bucket," Nott said, and Jester had to agree. As much as she loved traveling around the galaxy with her friends, getting out of the ship was always a treat.

Normally, they would've gotten there in under an hour, but with the engine trouble, it nearly five hours to get to the outpost and Jester was ready to scream from pent up energy. She could not get out of the MISTake fast enough once they docked. Looking around, the outpost appeared to be completely abandoned. There was a little automated shop though. It had a little green screen that was grainy with a still image of a Firbolg on it. Words scrolled on the bottom of the screen. "Welcome to the Invulnerable Vagrant. I am Pumat Sol. It's a pleasure to help you."

Nott whistled. "They got an old Pumat AI still? This place must've been pretty fancy."

"Yeah 200 years ago," Beau said. "No one uses those anymore."

“Maybe the prices are out of date and we can actually afford an engine?” Jester paused. “No actually, if they did the engine wouldn’t even work anymore.”

Fjord examined it. “The tech’s old, but the prices sure ain’t.” He winced as he clicked through the price listings. “Not that there’s much to choose from here. Maybe you could find what you need just lying about?”

Jester saluted Fjord. “Aye aye, captain.”

“Be sure to take a buddy,” Cad said in his soft low rumble.

“Nott! This is a job for true detectives!” Jester struck what she thought was an impressive pose and then took Nott’s hand.

The outpost was unbelievably old, but it didn’t feel haunted, just a little lonely and quiet. Like it was waiting for someone. Though really outposts and stations were just buildings, so really they couldn’t feel anything, but Jester thought that if they could, this one would be looking for a friend.

“So what are we looking for?” Nott asked.

“A metal tube thingy, some more bolts the size of your pinky, and a 5 cm thick metal sheet.” The exact materials would be better, but Jester had learned to do without after traveling so long with her friends.

Nott nodded. “Got it!”

Their footsteps echoed through the halls of the old outpost. It must've been abanodned for over a hundred years judging by the dust. There was something unsettling about it all. Jester didn't like it, but her and Nott were the most likely ones to find what they needed there. "I wonder what this place used to be," Jester said looking around.

"Most likely a scientific research station of some sort," Nott said.

"You think so?"

Nott nodded. "I've seen this sort of thing before. The rooms are more like dorms and there's not a lot of recreation options here, so that tells us that this wasn't meant for long terms of habitation," she explained. "So they probably just finished their research, but didn't see much point in packing up everything they had here."

"Oh, okay. So that means there might be a good chance of finding what we need here," Jester said relieved that they weren't just looking around the pooky halls for nothing. "So we just need to find where the labs are."

"Exactly," Nott said.

They picked up the pace as they wandered through the halls. It all looked the same until they reached the end of the hall and found a giant lab. Jester gasped at it. She never seen so much loose tech before. Almost none of it was bolted down. "This is the motherload." Her mind raced at how much money they make with just one haul. "We wouldn't even be able to fit it all in our hull."

"They were planning on coming back," Nott said looking around. "They wouldn't have left all of this if they were leaving for good."

"Why do you think they never came back?" Jester asked looking around the room. In the back of the room was a room of giant glass tubes. Most were opened.

Nott shrugged. "No idea. Could've been during the first Dynasty war. A lot of stuff got abandoned back then."

Jester examined the glass tubes. They were big enough for her to fit in. Actually, even Cad could fit in them. The ones that weren't opened were cracked and filled with some kind of gunk. Except for one. "Oh, there's something in this one." She rubbed the glass with her sleeve removing the dust and dirt and gasped. "There's someone in this one!"

"What?!" Nott rushed over. "What is he doing there?"

"He almost looks like he's sleeping," Jester said. He was thin and pale with long thick eyelashes. His hair was a rusty auburn. There was a sad beauty to him. "Do, do you think he might be dead?"

Nott backed away from the tube. "I don't know. If he were here all this time, he should be, but maybe he got trapped. Maybe all those tubes are traps."

"Can you run a scan on them?" Jester asked.

Nott already had her scanner out and was reading the ticker tape it spat out. "No traps, but he is alive."

Jester stared at the man sleeping in the tube. She had so many questions about him, but there didn't seem to be any point in asking them. There was no levers or control panel and Jester couldn't see any cracks or openings for it. "I wonder what he's like," she said, placing her hand on the glass.

A hum echoed throughout the room and the glass heated up under Jester's hand. She pulled it back hissing from the heat of it. The hum grew louder as the tube opened and a fog rolled out of it. The man still stood there seemingly asleep, but then began coughing. He leaned forward losing his balance and Jester caught him.

"Are you okay?" Jester asked.

He kept coughing so hard Jester was afraid that he would hurt himself. Carefully, Jester set him down so that he was sitting down on the ground. His coughing fit fading, he looked up at Nott and Jester a fear in his eyes, and said something in a language Jester never heard before.

"I don't think he speaks common," Nott said looking a little disappointed.

Jester pulled out her water flask and gave it to the man and he took a sip from it still coughing a little, but not as hard as he had been earlier. "Common?" the man said with a heavy accent. "What language is common?"

"Um, the language you're speaking now is common," Jester pointed out.

He frowned. "No, this is tal’dorian. It's not even the most common language in the galaxy."

Nott frowned and looked over at Jester. "No, it’s the most common language there is. Everyone speaks it. What do you think is the most common language?"

"Zemnian, of course," the man said. "We’re even in the Zemnian Territories."

Jester shook her head. "No, this is the Dwendalian Empire. Nobody's spoken Zemnian in like forever and the territories fell apart back in the big war."

"Big war? What are you talking about?"

"The big war. Well the first big war. The one that the Dwendalian empire was born from," Nott said. "It changed the whole galaxy."

The man held his head in his hands. "How long has it been? What year is it?"

"836 PD," Jester said. She frowned at him. "Um, what year do you think it is?"

"653 PD," he said.

Nott whistled. "That's a long time."

"Ja, ja it is," the man said.

Jester bit her lip. "So um, why are you not dead?"

"Cryogenic freezing," he said, "I was supposed to be in there for just a few weeks. He said it would just be three weeks. It was just a test run. Something happened. Do you know what?"

Jester and Nott shook their heads. "No, we were wondering the same ourselves," Nott said.

"Our ship just landed here to see if we could get the stuff he needed to fix our engine," Jester said and then she stopped herself gasping. "We forgot to introduce ourselves! I'm Jester and this is Nott."

"Nott the Brave," Nott added.

The man stared at them for a second. "Caleb Widogast."

Jester grinned. "Nice to meet you Caleb!"

“Ja, it’s nice to meet you too,” Caleb said, though he didn’t look happy to meet them. He just looked vaguely sad. Now that he was out of the tube, Jester could tell that he was wearing some kind of pajamas. Also that he smelled.

“Can you step back?” Jester said. “You smell really bad.”

Caleb tried to stand up, but ended up falling to his knees. "I'm still weak from my freeze. I'm sorry."

Jester sighed. "It's okay, I can lift you even if you're super stinky." She scooped up Caleb in her arms and he let out a little yelp of surprise.

"Sorry," Caleb said his cheeks blushing. "I just wasn't expecting that."

"No one expects the Mighty!" Jester shouted.

Nott nodded. "Yeah!"

"I can see that," Caleb said. "You said your engine needed fixing, so you have a ship?"

"That's right," Nott said. "Jester's our mechanic and I'm the gunner."

Caleb frowned mouthing the word. "I don't know what you mean."

"I shoot the guns. The artillery? You know? Ratatatatatatatata pew pew bang!" Nott made an exploding sound.

"Oh right. There was no guns on civilians ships," Caleb said. "Are you military?"

Jester shook her head. "Nope, it's safer to have guns than not. There's a lot of pirates out in the galaxy nowadays."

"Oh." Caleb was giving it some thought when his breast pocket shivered and something rolled out of it. A small ball that was a little bit bigger than Nott’s fist rolled around Caleb's chest and up his arm.

Jester gasped. "What is that?"

"Frumpkin. My pet." And for once Caleb smiled. Frumpkin clicked and whirled and changed form into a little mechanical cat and that rubbed it's head against Caleb's cheek.

"He's amazing," Jester whispered.

Nott looked at it thoughtfully. "We could get some good money out of it. You don't see robots as sophisticated as that anymore."

Caleb held Frumpkin in his hands protectively. "He's not for sale. Besides, he's just a pet, a bobble. He's nothing fancy or special."

"A hundred plus years ago sure," Nott said. "But everything's been turned to war efforts. You don't get anything that nice that's just for fun." Frumpkin by himself was easily worth three engines.

"He's not for sale," Caleb said firmly.

Jester nodded gently to Caleb. "That's right, we won't sell him. There's enough tech in here to more than make up for keeping him. Unless we can't sell that either."

Caleb looked around. "Nein. This is just lab equipment. But I want to look at it before you sell any of it. Maybe it can tell me just what happened here. I don't see why the station would've been abandoned. Especially without waking me up."

"Oh." Jester couldn't help but feel bad for Caleb. He had been left behind, completely forgotten. "Well, you can join us then."

Nott frowned. "Do you think that Fjord would agree to this?"

Jester avoided looking at Nott. "Well, it's not like we can leave Caleb here. Besides, maybe he can be helpful."

"I can help you find the supplies here. If they didn't take the lab supplies, they probably wouldn't have taken the spare parts either," Caleb said.

“Then lead the way!”

***

Nott and Jester were definitely an unusual pair. Caleb didn’t know what Jester was, but Nott was obviously a goblin. Jester’s species must’ve been one that joined the territories, no empire now, after Caleb was put into the cryogenic freezer. She insisted on carrying him like a princess despite him insisting that his freeze weakness was temporary. Or at least Caleb hoped it was.

Caleb was the first humanoid test of cryogenic freezing. Before him, they tried it on a pair of cats for a couple of days. Both came out of the freezing fine, but both were weak and tired for a couple of hours. He had no idea what over a hundred years in the freezing tube would do to someone. So far he had a persistent cough, a weird numb feeling to his legs, and he had trouble moving them.

Maybe Caleb should question Nott and Jester more, but they seemed honest and the decay of the station backed them up. It was strange to see it all in such a state of disrepair. The Soltryce Station had once been a jewel in the territories’ crown. A state of the art science facility. And now it was just junk covered in dust.

“Which way do we go?” Jester asked when they got to a split in the hallway.

"That w-"Caleb started coughing again and Jester readjusted him patting his back. His coughing shook his everything and he just wished that it would stop.

Nott stood on her tiptoes staring at him. "Are you sure that you're okay?"

"Ja," Caleb said coughing a bit more. "I'm fine. It's this way." He pointed to the left."

"If you need us to stop so you can rest, that's okay," Jester said.

Caleb shook his head. "Nein, I'm good. Once we're away from all this dust, I'll be fine. You shouldn't worry about me so much."

"Okay, but I don't think that cough sounds good. I'm kinda the ship doctor with Cad, so you should listen to me," Jester said. And for a seemingly light hearted person, she sounded incredibly serious.

"We need to get your supplies, ja? Then let's keep going. It's not that far from here." Caleb was grateful that that was the truth. If he was being honest, he was exhausted and just wanted to sleep for real, but they needed to take care of this and Caleb needed to prove his worth.

They reached the warehouse with Nott exclaiming a curse. "This is a scrapper's wet dream."

Jester turned in a circle taking it all in. "They might have exactly what I need."

"The station was on the cutting edge, but repairs are always needed. But it's fine," Caleb said. "I don't think that anyone will notice anything missing."

Jester giggled. "Um, is it okay if I put you down?"

"Ja, I'm fine on my own," Caleb said. It was comfortable in her arms, but he would never admit it out loud. Besides, he preferred taking care of himself.

Gently and slowly, Jester set Caleb on the ground. "Okay, so if you need anything, let me know. I'm just getting what we need for the engine."

"Alright."

"Jester! Check this out!" Nott shouted from the aisles of hardware and tools.

"Coming!" Jester yelled running towards Nott.

Once alone, Caleb tried to stand up. Jester left him by a wall, so he leaned against it for support. "Ein, zwei, drei," he whispered to himself and then tried to stand, but nothing happened. His legs remained in the position Jester left him in. He moved his legs with his hands and tried again. Caleb remained on the floor. Cursing to himself, he tried for a third time, and for the third time, he was still on the floor. "%^&$!!!!!"

"Caleb!" Jester came running and nearly slipped getting to him. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Hot shame burned on his cheeks. "I couldn't get up."

"Here, I got you." Jester moved to pick him up.

"No." Caleb tried to move away, but he couldn't. "I'm sorry. I can't stand up." It was humiliating to admit it. He felt so broken, but Jester just looked at him with gentle understanding.

"Oh right, you were saying that it takes a while to warm up after being frozen. I'm sorry that it's taking so long," Jester said. "Do you want to wait a bit longer before we go back to the ship?"

The offer was tempting, but Caleb shook his head. "You go on ahead without me. You need to fix your engine. I'll catch up with you two once I'm ready to get up."

Jester frowned. "Cay-leb, we can't just leave you alone here. What if the station's haunted?"

"I can wait with him," Nott said.

"You don't need to. It's better if you two stay together since you don't know this station well," Caleb said. "I'm fine by myself."

Nott shook her head. "It's fine. I've got this." She pressed something on her wrist. "Hey, Beau? Can you send Cad and Fjord back here? We need some help. Youcanreplytothismessage."

The little wrist communicator crackled. "Why? ...Yeah I'll send them."

"It's a left, straight and a left at the third hall," Nott said to the communicator. "Oh and have Cad bring the med scanner."

"Med scanner? Nott, what happened? Did you blow up Jes-" the communicator crackled out as Nott turned it off.

Caleb stared at it. "Kinda clunky."

"Well, not all of us are from the golden age of tech," Nott said. "Is it true that they use to use star radiation to clear asteroid fields?"

"I guess? I never really paid attention to that side of things," Caleb admitted. "I was more on the theoretical side of things. Physics and the like."

Jester sat down next to Caleb and leaned forward. "What was it like living in the past?"

"I never considered it the past. Not until I woke today," Caleb said. "And I don't know what things are like for you now." Frumpkin spun slowly in his hands giving him something to focus on rather than his rising panic.

"Oh, I guess that makes sense." Jester frowned and then perked up. "Oh, oh I can tell you all about what the future is like and our ship."

Caleb smiled weakly. "I'd like that."

Jester began to paint a picture of a junky old ship with Nott occasionally interjecting. It sounded like a cramp and miserable living space, but Jester smiled widely and Nott got excited while talking about her tiny gun port.

The sounds of footsteps interrupted them, and a half orc entered the room followed by a fuzzy giant. "What did you do this time, Nott?" the half orc groaned.

"Nothing! Really, Fjord, you act like I'm the one that pressed a random red button and nearly blew us up," Nott said and Fjord, the half-orc, looked away awkwardly. "The med scans not for us, it's for Caleb."

Fjord jumped back when he noticed Caleb. "Who is that? There's people here?"

"Just me," Caleb said. He was trying not to stare, but his eyes kept wandering to the giant.

The giant smiled down at Caleb. “The name’s Caduceus Clay and that’s Fjord. Nice to meet you.”

“Caleb Widogast. The pleasure’s all mine,” Caleb said nervously.

Caduceus smiled again. Smiling seemed to come easy to him. “Now what seems to be the problem?”

“I … fell. It must’ve hurt my back.” Caleb ignored Jester and Nott staring at him. He couldn’t help that Nott and Jester knew that he was cryogenically frozen for over 100 years, but that was information he wanted to keep quiet. In the wrong hands, it could be very dangerous information. “I’m … having trouble standing up.”

“Let me just give you a quick scan.” Caduceus swept an old looking scanner over Caleb. It beeped and whirred while Caduceus stared at it. “Huh, this doesn’t make sense.”

Jester looked over his shoulder. “What doesn’t?”

“Says here a bundle of nerves got frozen in his spinal cord and that’s what’s stopping him from getting up.But that doesn’t make sense if he fell,” Caduceus said.

“Oh,” Jester said, “it must be on the fritz again. I’ll see if I can fix it on the ship.”

Caleb tried to keep calm, but he didn’t like the sound of frozen nerves. “If that thing were right, what would happen? Would the nerves just unfreeze and get better?”

Caduceus stared blankly at Caleb while Jester bit her lip. “I don’t know. I’ve never heard of nerves freezing to such an extent,” Jester said. “And well, there may be more damage done to them than just that.”

“But you just had a fall,” Caduceus said. He was hard to read, but Caleb had a feeling that he knew more than he was letting on.

“Ja, just a fall,” Caleb said.

Jester clapped her hands catching everyone’s attention. “Okay, so I still need to find one last thing for the engine and then I can go fix it. Fjord and Cad can help me carry everything I need and Nott can wait with Caleb while I fix the engine.”

Part of Caleb wanted to argue that he didn’t need to rest or be watched, but he knew that no one would listen to him. He just remained silent as Nott sat down next to him while the other three went to work. The two of them sat in companionable silence and watched the other three go about their business and then leave.

"I get it, you know," Nott said interrupting their silence. She sat with her knees to her chest and she hugged them close to herself. "Not wanting people to know about your past. Where you came from. I get it."

"Ja?" Caleb glanced at her and then went back to staring ahead of them.

She made a sound of agreement. "A lot of us on the MISTake have pasts we aren't ready to share. I mean Cad and Jester don't, they're both open books, but the rest of us. We get it. They might not admit it, but it's hard to share those sort of things."

"Ja, it is."

"So, you thinking about joining us?" Nott asked.

Caleb stared down at his legs. "I don't have much to offer you."

"Well, neither does Fjord, but he's our captain. Besides you must be pretty smart to be a physicist."

"I'm not that smart. I just studied hard. I read a lot. That's not talent," Caleb said.

"Keeping it all in your head is," Nott said. "My ... friend was the same way."

Caleb looked over at Nott. She was fiddling with the buttons on her dress. “Do, do you miss your friend?” He kicked himself as soon as he said it. It was obviously something she didn’t want to talk about.

“Sometimes.” Nott kept fiddling with the button. “But working on the MISTake helps distract me from that.”

“You don’t want me to be part of your crew,” Caleb said. “Not really.”

Nott shrugged. “Maybe, but that’s up to us to decide. You’re going to need a ride out of here anyways and it’s not like this is on a shuttle route.”

“I can’t pay for it,” Caleb said feeling useless. “You could use the space I take up to load up with stuff you can sell.”

“And never be forgiven by Jester. I don’t think I’d forgive myself either ditching you here,” Nott said. “Maybe there’s something you can help with on the ship.”

Caleb gave it some thought. “I can navigate a little. Unless maps have changed.”

Nott leaned forward. “Are you kidding me? You could be working off a 3,000 year old map and still be better than we got.”

“Then I guess you have a navigator.” A little weight lifted from his shoulders. Caleb would be able to earn his way to a populated station, then slip away into it and figure out what had happened while he was asleep. Jester and Nott seemed nice, but they knew too much and he didn’t know enough. And they didn’t deserve to put up with him. This was going to work.

***

When Jester went back to check on Caleb and Nott, the two of them were napping, leaning against each other. It was so cute Jester was almost tempted to leave them there, but she had fixed the engine already and Beau, Cad, and Fjord had loaded up the hull with as much tech as they could fit. So everyone was itching to get off the outpost.

“I’ll take Caleb and you get Nott,” Jester whispered to Cad.

Nott stirred a little when Cad picked her up, but settled back to sleep in his arms. The little goblin did so much for the crew and Jester knew that she didn't sleep much, so she was glad to see her sleeping.

Jester grabbed Caleb only for him to struggle. "Caleb, Caleb," Jester said shaking his shoulder. "It's just me. Jester."

Caleb's eyes snapped open and he stared at her for a moment before blinking. "Oh Jester. I'm sorry. I almost thought this was all a dream."

"It'd be a pretty weird one if it was," Jester said. "Oh! We're about to go, but before we do, where's your room? I can go get your stuff."

Caleb frowned. "Oh, I don't have anything. We can just go."

"I don't mind. It's okay."

Caleb stared at Cad waiting by the door waiting for Jester and Caleb. "None of it would've survived so long. I got Frumpkin. That's all I need."

"Oh, right Jester said. "So um, can I pick you up or can you stand up now?"

He frowned concentrating before shaking his head. “I still can’t get up. Could you?”

“Sure,” Jester said with a smile. It was getting easier and more familiar to carry Caleb around. If Jester was being honest, she'd say that she kinda liked carrying him and feeling his warmth in her arms. But Caleb probably didn't want to hear that. "So, we'll take you to the MISTake and show you around and then you can take another nap if you'd like."

Caleb shook his head. "Nott said you needed a navigator. I'm not the best at it, but I can set course for you once we get in."

"Really? That'd be super good since we're kinda desperate for one." Jester caught up to Cad and went through the halls. "Are you going to miss this, Caleb?"

"Not really. It was always supposed to be a temporary home."

***

Caleb stared at the hunk of junk that Jester called a ship. "What's wrong with it?"

"What do you mean?" Jester asked.

"It's all rusted and barely hanging on together. I've never seen a ship in worse repair." Caleb waved at it. "This is barely even junk scrap."

Beau snorted. "It's not that bad. And it's the only option you got."

"Not that bad? It’s a junk heap. If this is not that bad, I'd hate to see what bad looks like," Claeb said.

"Um, Caleb? This actually counts as half decent," Jester said, keeping her voice low enough so that only Caleb could hear her. "It's not shiny, but it flies and really that's kinda the only option we got nowadays. Most ships are kinda junky."

Caleb looked around to see Beau and Fjord staring at him like they were mentally weighing him. It hadn’t even been a day and already Caleb was showing how much he didn’t belong. He took a deep breath calming himself down. All the more proof that he had to go on his own once they docked at a populated station. “Oh right. Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend.” Beau still was giving him a strange look.

Jester adjusted her grip on Caleb. "Come on, I'll show you inside. It's pretty neat. You're going to love it."

"Ja, sounds great.," Caleb said. He wasn't sure about it, but he was given a free ride and it sounded like there wasn't going to be any other options.

It became apparent very quickly that the MISTake was not meant to hold five people, let alone six. True Nott was very small, but Caduceus was enormous. There were four bunks built into the walls of the hall and an over-sized hammock hanging free in the middle of the hall. "That's where Cad sleeps," Jester explained. "He doesn't fit in a bunk. And over there's the med bay." Med bay was a glorified term for what was best described as a first aid kit in closet form.

Caleb was about to ask about it when he started another coughing fit.

"Caleb!" Jester squeaked. This was easily his 20th one, yet Jester still worried over each one. She rushed him to the med bay.

Caleb held up a hand. "I'm fine, Jester." He coughed more before the fit cleared.

Jester pulled down a seat out of the wall and set Caleb down on it. "Try coughing again," Jester said pressing some device against Caleb's chest.

"You don't have to do this," Caleb said. "It's just a cough."

"A cough that can be part of something more serious. Please, can you try coughing for me?" Jester eyes were so big and soft, Caleb couldn't say no to her.

He let out a hacking wheeze. "Is that good?"

Jester frowned at the device. "It says you have something in your lungs, but I have no way of telling what it is."

“Oh probably the sol-” Caleb stopped when he noticed Beau standing at the doorway.

“Hi Beau! Do you need anything?” Jester asked cheerfully.

Beau stared down Caleb. "Just grabbing some bandages."

"Oh, let me get those for you." Jester hopped up and slid open a cupboard grabbing a wrap of bandages. "Do you need anything else?"

"Nah. So what do you think of our 'junk heap'?" Beau asked Caleb.

Caleb looked down. "It's a good ship, I'm sure. Nott said you needed a navigator? I can get started right away."

"Yeah. We all kinda suck at it," Beau said with a shrug.

Jester scooped up Caleb again without even asking, but he didn’t entirely mind it. Her arms were strong. "Let me show you the cockpit. It's our pit of cocks." She giggled and Caleb had to fight back a snort. It was a little tricky going to the cockpit since it was up a ladder, so Jester had to swing Caleb over her shoulder.

The cockpit wasn't very impressive though the fact that they could fit more than three people in it at once was quite a feat. There were three seats in it with all sorts of buttons and switches on it. It was the same set up that Caleb was used to seeing on control panels. In fact, Caleb was pretty certain he had been in the same kind of ship as this before. "How old is this thing?" Caleb asked.

"Nearly 180 years old," Jester said. "So not that old. And she's held up pretty good."

"Ah." Caleb's mind started to race. How could a ship so old still be in working condition? Though it sounded like old ships were quite common, but it made no sense. Was there some technological break down? No advancements in any of the technological based fields? That would explain why they were so excited by all the abandoned lab equipment. But the question was once again, what happened?

Fjord sat in the pilot's seat. "Are you sure that he can navigate this for us?"

Beau snorted. "Anything would be better than our current system." She stood outside of the cockpit giving them more room.

"Here, Caleb," Jester said cheerful as she put him down in the navigator's chair. "This will be where you work."

Caleb looked at the map frowning. None of the names on it looked even slightly familiar. "Where is it that we're going?"

"Zadash," Fjord said.

Caleb looked back down at the screen and found it relatively quick, but it didn't make sense. Zadash sat where Rexxentrum should've been. "This map is recent, ja?"

"Why would we give you an old map? We're not that backwards," Beau said.

"Nein, nein, this is fine. Just, I've been on the station for a long time and didn't know if the maps have been updated yet," Caleb said.

"Last update was five months ago," Fjord said.

Caleb nodded still staring at the map. So much of his old life had been renamed and claimed by people not even born yet when he went to sleep. It was hard to take in. "Right, the best route would be," he said and then paused noticing something on the map. "Did you realize that this is a quarantine zone?" He had heard of Ikithon considering using a quarantine to hide important locations, but Caleb hadn’t realized that this included the station.

Fjord went pale. “What?”

“See, the symbols for quarantine are all over the place here.” Caleb pointed at the map. “That would explain why no one had looted here before.” And why no one had found him.

“And your cough,” Jester said her blue skin turning pale.

Caleb sunk down. “It’s not like that at all.”

“Are you telling me that we got typhoid Mary on our ship?” Beau demanded.

“It’s just something stuck in my lungs,” Caleb said. “I’ll be-” Another coughing fit came over him.

Jester patted Caleb’s back hard. “I did scan his lungs and nothing came up except for something in his lungs, but no sign of infectious disease.”

“There,” Caleb coughed more. “There was a hiding protocol.” He wheezed catching his breath. “For the outpost. The quarantine may be part of that.”

“But we have no way of knowing,” Fjord sagged down in the captain’s chair.

Caleb sighed. “If there was any disease, the quarantine would’ve ended years ago.”

“What makes you say that?” Beau asked.

“Because the quarantine began approximately 182 years ago. See, the symbols are universal, but the coding here is in old Zemnian. I don’t know what’s being used now, but in Zemnian, these numbers show when it began. The 16th of Thunsheer 654 PD.” A year after Caleb had been put into the cryofreezer. “I don’t know of any diseases that can survive that long without any carriers.”

Jester clapped her hands. “Then everything’s going to be okay.”

Beau scowled. “How did you get there?”

“What?” Caleb asked.

“An outpost in the middle of nowhere quarantined, and you stuck there with no ship,” Beau said.

Fjord nodded getting up. “That is mighty suspicious.”

“I was abandoned there,” Caleb said, leaking out just enough truth to be believable. “I had a disagreement with my mentor and he left me there.”

“But why were you there in the first place if it was quarantined?” Fjord rested a hand on his blaster.

Beau entered the cockpit. “Nobody speaks Zemnian anymore, but you act like it’s what you’re used to. There’s something off with your story.”

Jester stepped forward. “He doesn’t have to tell you if he doesn’t want to.”

“Look I’m all for privacy and secrets and s%$^ on this ship, but there’s a limit,” Fjord said. “We don’t know if we can trust him.”

"I can't even stand up on my own. What could I do?" Caleb said.

Beau snorted. "For all we know, you're faking it. Or maybe you are contagious after all."

Caleb scowled at her. "All I want is to get to the closest station, so I can hitch a ride as far from here as possible, that's all."

"He's not doing any of this on purpose," Jester said.

"And how do you know that?" Fjord asked. "Jes, I know you think that the world is all soft and safe, but you need to think. He could be manipulating you."

Jester's hands balled up into fists and she bit her lip. She looked like she was close to crying.

"He's not," Nott yawned as she scurried up the ladder. "And he doesn't have to tell you anything."

"And why is that?" Fjord demanded.

Nott rolled her eyes. "Cause he told Jester and me enough."

"And we're supposed to listen to your judge of character?" Beau asked. "It's not like you're the most forthcoming person either."

"I trust him," Cad said from the bottom of the stairs.

Fjord eased up and removed his hand from the blaster. "You sure?"

"Yeah, he's a good one. Not the most open, but most aren't." The giant smiled at Caleb. "When you're done here you should try some tea."

Fjord looked over at Beau and shrugged. "He passes the Cad test."

Beau scowled at him, "And that's enough for you?"

"It is for now," Fjord said. "Besides, it's not like he's going to stay here forever. Just until the next station."

Nott and Jester frowned at this and Caleb had to look away. He just had to keep reminding himself that it was all for the best. This wasn't his place.

***

"Oh!" Jester said excitedly after tea with Cad. "We have to decide which bunk is yours!"

"But you only have four bunks," Caleb said, "and there's five of you."

Jester nodded. "Well, yeah, but Cad has the hammock, so you don't need to worry about him. And Nott is super small."

"I usually bunk up with Jester when we have extra crew," Nott said. She glanced over at Caleb and then diverted her gaze.

Caleb shook his head. "You don't need to. Not for me. I can just sleep in a chair."

Jester pouted. "Caleb! You won't get better sleeping in a chair. You need proper sleep in a proper bunk. Besides, me and Nott don't mind. It's like a slumber party."

"I don't want to be a burden."

Jester had to fight back a groan. "It's not a burden. You're our new friend, and friends help each other."

"You just met me." Caleb looked around before continuing. "And I'm lying to the rest of your crew. You really can't mean it."

“Why not?” Jester asked tilting her head.

Caleb’s cheeks turned red. “Because, you don’t know if I’m worth it. And I’m not.”

“I don’t think that’s up for you to decide, Caleb,” Jester said.

“Yeah, we already like you,” Nott added.

Jester’s arms were full with Caleb otherwise she’d boop his nose. “Yep, it’s already too late.”

Caleb frowned. “This is more kindness than I know what to do with.”

“You’ll learn,” Jester said with a smile.

***

When traveling through the galaxy and the great expanses thereof, life tends to fall into a routine. An incredibly boring routine. Jester would help Caleb out of his bunk and then take him the the incredibly crowded kitchen/dining room where Caduceus had made breakfast(what any meal was made of, Caleb had no clue and he was afraid to ask). Then she or Caduceus would carry Caleb to the cockpit where Caleb took care of navigation. It was mostly just double checking things and correcting the course as needed. After that, it was time for a nap. His cough had gone away, but he still needed a lot of sleep. Caduceus and Jester had said that it was his body healing, but Caleb couldn't help but wonder if his body was struggling with shaking off the cryo freeze. He was ready be finished with it. After a nap, it was time for lunch and then Jester or Cad would help him with exercises that were supposed to help Caleb with regaining his ability to walk, but so far it didn't seem to help. Finally, it was time for dinner and then sleep.

After two weeks of it, Caleb was ready to scream. They were getting close to Zadash and then Caleb could finally go off and disappear. What he'd do after that he wasn't certain, but he just wanted to find some forgotten corner of the galaxy. "When will we get there?" Beau asked.

"Two more days barring any breakdowns," Caleb said.

Beau groaned. "This is taking forever. I wish we could just use teleporters."

Caleb paused. He'd never heard of such technology existing, but it could've been developed after he was frozen. Jester and Nott had been helping him catch up with what was new in the world, but there was just so much to go over. "Those don't exist,” he said, hoping to keep his uncertainty out of his voice.

"I know, but it would be a whole lot faster that this bucket of bolts," Beau said.

"I thought that this was actually a decent ship," Caleb pointed out.

Beau shook her head. "Not after being trapped in here for two weeks, it's not. This ship sucks and so does everyone on it."

"Jester doesn't suck!" Caleb said louder than he had meant to. He could feel his cheeks turning red. "And neither does Nott. Or Cad."

"Hey, what about me and Fjord?"

Caleb shrugged. "Fjord's okay, I suppose, but you stole my toast."

"You weren't eating it," Beau said.

"I was saving it for last." Caleb shook his head.

Beau rolled her eyes. "Everyone knows that you start with toast."

"Nein, you save the best part for last."

Beau punched him lightly on the arm. "I'm gonna miss ya, you know. We could really use you as a navigator."

Caleb rubbed his arm. "I don't want to be a burden. You're crowded as it is."

"And we'd be crowded with any other navigator too," Beau said.

Caleb sighed shaking his head. "I'm just a burden. Jester and Cad spend too much time on me."

Beau shrugged. "It gives them something to do. Jester would miss you."

"Ja?"

"Yeah, same with Nott. They like having the extra playmate."

Caleb frowned. "They're hardly children and neither am I."

"Yeah, but maybe you should think it over," Beau said. "We could use somebody like you on the ship, and we're already used to you."

"I thought you didn't trust me," Caleb said.

Beau stood up. "Nah, but it's not like I trust anyone on this ship. Especially after 2 weeks. So, um, think about it." She left the cockpit.

Caleb sat there thinking about what Beau said. Staying would've been easy. Not having to find a new ship that would let him on or having to figure out how he'd pay for it. But life was never going to be easy, especially for him. He'd figure out a new life away from the MISTake. There wasn't any other option.

***

They were going to reach Zadash station in less than an hour, and Jester felt sick to her stomach. Caleb was going to leave that day and she didn’t want to see him go. Sure he could be dour and a bit of a grumpy-puss, but then he’d laugh at one of her pranks, listen to her talk, or just be her friend. Not that the rest of the crew weren’t her friends, but Caleb felt special, different. He always appreciated what she did for him and even praised her for her strength and abilities. So it hurt to see him go.

Jester wasn’t the only one who felt that way. Nott had grown a special friendship with Caleb as well, and Beau had declared that he didn’t suck. Cad said something about Caleb having potential, but he said that sort of thing all the time. Even Fjord was sad about the idea of losing their new navigator. The only question was if Caleb was sad that he’d be leaving.

“Have you ever been there before?” Jester asked as she helped Caleb with his stretches.

“To Zadash when it was Rexxentrum? Ja, it was the jewel of the empire. I went to the royal academy there. Finest school for the sciences ever,” Caleb said. He leaned forward trying to touch his toes.

Jester frowed and readjusted his feet. “Did you like it there?”

Caleb shrugged. “It was school. I went there and I learned. And I loved every second there. Kind of thought I’d become a teacher there.”

“Yeah?” Jester never seen him look so happy talking about the past. “Well, maybe you still can.”

Another shrug as he came up from his stretch. “My knowledge is a bit out of date now.”

“Oh. Well, are you excited to see how everything that changed since you last were in Zadash?” Jester asked.

Caleb shook his head going back down to stretch reaching for his toes. “Not really. It kind of turned sour in the end for me. And it’s-” He didn’t finish the thought.

“Intimidating? Scary? Weird?” Jester suggested.

“Ja, weird,” Caleb said. “I never expected to go back there.”

Jester tilted her head. “Why not?” She pushed down a little on his back straightening it.

He sighed. “Things happened since I left there the first time. Life got complicated.”

“Well, we’ll be with you. If you want us to that is,” Jester said. “I know that you’re going to leave the ship and strike out on your own, but we can hang out while you find a new place for yourself and we can show you around since stuff has changed so much since you went to sleep. You’ll love it.”

A sad smile crossed Caleb’s face. “You’ve already done too much for me.”

“Not really. You’ve been a lot of help with navigating and I think that Nott really needed a friend like you.”

“You really think so?” Cale asked.

Jester nodded. “Yeah! I think she gets lonely sometimes and I don’t always have the time to play with her and I’m not always what she needs. But maybe you are.”

Caleb shook his head the smallest amount. “Nein, nobody needs me.”

“I do,” Jester said the words coming out before she could even think. “I mean, we need you. None of us are any good at navigating and you’re really smart.”

“So is Nott, and Fjord and Beau aren’t that dumb either,” Caleb said.

Jester frowned as she helped Caleb into his next position. “Well, yeah, but,” she paused. She didn’t know what to say. The idea of Caleb leaving just made her heart feel so incredibly lonely. “I’ll miss you.”

Caleb stared at her and his cheeks turned the faintest shade of pink. “I’ll miss you too. Maybe we can write each other?”

“Like pen pals? Do you really want to?” Jester asked leaning forward her tail wagging about.

“Ja, of course I do,” Caleb said.

Jester grinned and held out her pinky finger. “Okay, we’re penpals. Now we need to pinkie swear on it.”

Caleb stared at her extended pinkie and then slowing smile. “Alright then.” He linked his pinkie with hers.

“Pen pal promise!” Jester let go of their grip. “I’ll message you every day! Or as many days as I can.”

“I will too,” Caleb said softly.

It didn’t do much to dispel the lonely feeling in her stomach, but it helped some. After all, Caleb still wanted to be her friend.

***

Caleb had nothing to pack up since he owned nothing except for the clothes on his back and Frumpkin. Not that he minded or anything. This wasn’t the first time that he had nothing to his name but the need to leave. Jester hovered over him as he prepared to leave the ship. Though to be fair, she was his ride around.

“It’s been nice,” Caleb said. “And who knows, maybe we’ll see each other again.”

Jester nodded. She was trying so hard to seem so happy and cheerful, but there was a distinct feeling that it was all in all an act. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

“I’m ready to disembark if you are,” Caleb said.

“Okay.” Her voice sounded small and distant. He couldn’t mean that much to her. Maybe she just never liked goodbyes. Jester picked him up, but it was stiffer than usual.

Caleb wrapped an arm around her shoulders to keep himself steady. “Danke. For everything.”

“You’re welcome,” Jester said.

“Wait!” Nott ran up to Jester and Caleb. “Please don’t go. I don’t know why you have to go.”

Caleb frowned. “I don’t wish to be a burden.”

“You’re the best navigator I’ve ever seen,” Nott said. “And that’s not a compliment I give lightly.”

Jester bit her lip. “Is it because we know your secret?”

Caleb stared at her, or at least what he could see of her, and then looked away. “I-”

“I don’t see what the big deal is. So what we found you in a cryofreezer,” Jester said her arms trembling. “You’re our friend now and it doesn’t matter.”

“Jester, such technology doesn’t exist. It’s legend, mythology. If such a thing did exist and they found the man who used it, what do you think they’d do to him?” Caleb asked.

Jester shrugged jostling him. “I’d asked him questions,” Nott said. “See how it impacted him and his memory.”

“And after that?” Caleb asked.

“A medical exam?” Jester sounded uncertain.

Caleb shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about it, but they had to know. They needed to know why he had to disappear. “An autopsy.” Just like those poor cats that went in before him. “I was scheduled to be dissected an hour after I came out of the freezer.”

“What?” Jester’s arms almost went slack, and she nearly dropped Caleb. “But, what?”

Nott looked pale. “Who would do that?”

“Dr. Trent Ikithon would. Especially to a criminal such as myself,” Caleb said.

“What did you do?” Jester asked.

Caleb shook his head. “It was a protest gone wrong. I was trying to stop it. Stand up for the empire, but then a fire started in the station.” Both Nott and Jester gasped. They knew how serious a fire on a station could be. “I couldn’t stop it and I can’t remember all that happened that day. I think I may have started it, but I’m not certain. But all the blame was placed on me. Like a coward, I tried to run, but I was caught eventually and given to Dr. Trent Ikithon. I studied under him once. A brilliant mind.”

“So they were going to kill you for a crime you might not have even committed?” Nott asked.

“A crime is a crime and must be punished,” Caleb said. “I deserved what I had coming, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth and waste this second chance. Which is why I can’t stay here.”

“I call bull$#@%,” Beau said from behind Caleb and Jester.

Caleb stared at her. “It really did happen.”

“Not on that, on ditching us” Beau rolled her eyes. “You think you’re the only one who has ran afoul with the law here? Join the club.”

“Yeah, I’m banned at my home station and we can’t go anywhere near Felderwin because of Nott,” Jester said.

The little goblin nodded proudly.

“Sounds like everyone after you are long dead anyways,” Fjord said. “So you don’t have anything to fear.”

Caleb snorted. “If anyone found out that such technology is actually viable even in your forgotten wasteland of tech, I’d be considered a commodity. A rarity. Especially since I know how the cryofreezer works.”

Beau frowned. “Why is it so important?”

“Think about it. It’s the first step to immortality,” Caleb said. “Let’s say someone with sufficient funds became ill and there was no cure. All they’d have to do is go in the freezer, wait for the cure to be found, then they’d get unfrozen, and cured.”

Nott frowned. “That’s great but it’s got some major kinks to work out.” She waved at Caleb’s legs.

“Ja, but I was just supposed to be in for a few weeks, not for nearly two centuries,” Caleb said.

“So, it shouldn’t be a big deal if you stay with us,” Jester said. “Since it’s not the territories anymore, then the law that is after you isn’t here anymore.”

Caleb shook his head. “I’m still a guilty man.”

“You don’t even know if it was your fault. Culpable deniability,” Beau said.

“And since we know what happened to you, we’re ready if anyone comes looking for you,” Nott said.

Jester nodded. “Yeah, you’d be safer with us.”

“I’ve always been in favor of the buddy system,” Cad said.

“Do you even trust me?” Caleb asked.

There was hemming and hawing all about. “Not really, but it’s not like you trust us yet,” Nott said. “That stuff takes time. Besides it’s not like we’re asking you to marry us. Just stick around for another station.”

“Just one station?” Caleb asked.

“This is too big of a station,”Beau said. “You’d be remembered here. You can leave at the next one.”

Caleb was about to point out the flaw in her logic, but he looked around. This was actually a good ship and a good crew. And if Caleb was being honest with himself, he actually wanted to stay with them. “Alright, one more station.” And maybe another after that. Forever was more than he could ever promise too, but one more station? He could handle staying for one more station.

[tatyanadyachenko]

2020’S Best CBD For Pets – CBD Oil For Cats And Dogs

2020’S Best CBD For Pets – CBD Oil For Cats And Dogs

For the last couple of years, I have been praising cannabidiol, or CBD oil for its remarkable ability to help me relax in any situation. I have tried powerful CBD tinctures, festive gummies and even high quality vape pens. Since using the various hemp derived CBD products, all of my stress is completely manageable. As a direct result, I now sleep much better at night. The improved rest does wonders for my energy level at work. I am more fruitful and content throughout my long days at the office and at home. It wasn’t until a recent visit to the vet that I realized dogs and cats can take full advantage of CBD as well. CBD snacks for pets are amazing.

It’s important to realize that hemp derived CBD is not the same as CBD from marijuana. Although they both stem from the cannabis plant, hemp has less than 0.3% tetrahydrocannabidol, or THC. That means there is not nearly enough THC to give an animal the high that most folks associate with mary jane. Industrial hemp is also legal in all 50 states, thanks to President Trump putting the 2018 Farm Bill into effect.

A consumer must realize that not all CBD treats for cats and dogs is the same. It’s up to every pet owner to do his or her homework and buy trustworthy goods that will keep your pets calm and cool. Maybe it’s in the middle of a nasty thunderstorm or perhaps it’s during a Fourth of July fireworks show. There is plenty of whining, panting and shaking. Puppies hide in the corner and kitties refuse to leave your lap. It is up to you, your fur-baby’s loving parent, to do a little homework and only buy safe and efficient products.

Your CBD oil for pets should work quickly to help them chill out whenever it is raining cats and dogs. Everything should also be made with nothing but organic ingredients. Meanwhile, the CBD treats for dogs and cats should be laboratory tested and manufactured in the United States. You certainly don’t want CBD food or drinks that are made with flavor additives or low quality hemp oil. Otherwise, who knows what potentially dangerous substances you are giving to little Pooky?

Let’s take a good look at 10 of the biggest and best companies out there selling CBD oil for our tail-wagging buddies.

1 JustCBD for Dogs and Cats

Since 2017, JustCBD has been leaders in the CBD industry that has been the winner of the Best CBD Pet Products awards from Hempressa CBD Shop Directory, Vapetelligent Vape Shop Directory and Chill Hempire CBD Magazine. They possess a great reputation for helping men and women, along with cats and dogs efficiently fight of stress. You simply give your little rug rats Just CBD for Pets whenever you have a stranger over, there is a nasty thunderstorm outside, or the neighbor insists on lighting off fireworks.

Every Just CBD product sold is created in the U.S. with domestically grown hemp and ships all around the world from the Sunshine State. The company makes it a point to use nothing but the finest ingredients, including pure oil and concentrates, in all of its merchandise. The last thing you want to do is buy CBD snacks for pets that are produced with flavor additives or low-quality hemp oil. It is also laboratory tested to ensure users’ safety. Just CBD’s packaging is straightforward, and they make it a point to never misrepresent what exactly is used in their goods.

Another one of the factors that makes Just CBD stand apart from its competition is its reputable customer service team. Feedback can be found all over the web complimenting their well-knowledge and courteous team. After sending an email, individuals usually hear back from a representative within an hour’s time. At the same time, JustCBD offers plenty of top-notch promotions for new customers, holidays and more.

Thankfully, JustCBD for Pets works quickly the first time it is used. Unlike expensive pharmaceuticals, it doesn’t take a few days for CBD to work in an animal’s body. Overall, I was very happy with Just CBD Oil for Dogs and Cats. Tails wag and everyone can chill out. While Marley and Charlie may not be able to verbalize how they are feeling, Just CBD oil for cats and dogs can put their worried minds at peace, regardless of any uncomfortable surrounding.

From JustCBD’s Steak Bites, Chicken Biscuits, Liver Meatballs, and Chicken Meatballs for dogs to their Purr Treats and Chicken Treats for cats, all for about $20 for a 100 mg jar, it couldn’t be easier to keep your beloved pets calm and cool.

Check out Just CBD for Pets at CBD Wholesale Marketplace and Love to CBD – CBD Marketplace.

2 Charlotte’s Web CBD for Dogs

Without question, Charlotte’s Web is one of the biggest names in the cannabidiol industry. Working out of Boulder, Colorado, the company was formerly known as Charlotte’s Web PAWS. It was started by the Stanley brothers who created their own strain of hemp in 2012.

According to its business website, Charlotte’s Web CBD for dogs helps their minds, bodies and souls to remain calm. At the same time, it should improve a puppy’s physical and mental well-being, as it supports brain function, vision, healthy hips and joints.

Charlotte’s Web CBD for dogs focuses on staying calm, supporting the brain or easing stiffness in the joints. The powerful CBD merchandise also comes in a couple flavors, chicken and an unflavored Medium-Chain Triglyceride (MCT) oil. Ingredients include vitamin E, elderberry powder, valerian root, chamomile, and Charlotte’s Web’s own hemp extract.

Nowadays, a pet owner can have a field day on the site, as there is a wide range of CBD options available when it comes to potency and strength. A small bag of Cognition Chews for Dogs costs $19.99, and a consumer can pick up a Canine Bundle with both oil and chews for $79.98. There are even combos that mix CBD for pets with calming gummies for their owners. Unfortunately, Charlotte’s Web inventory gets a bit expensive. Buyers also complain about their complicated website, along with Charlotte’s Web slow shipping methods.

Generally speaking, consumers appreciate that every one of Charlotte’s Web’s CBD products is tested. The problem is the assessments are performed in-house and curious buyers, like me, never get to figure out how the testing is being performed. Why can’t I see the laboratory results on the company site? Is there something they don’t want the public to see? Sure, a buyer with a batch number can always contact the customer service department, but why bother? Next.

3 PureKana CBD for Dogs

Centered in Arizona, Pure Kana sells a few different flavors and sizes of CBD for dogs, including the popular Peanut Butter & Pumpkin and Blueberry & Chicken options. A few years ago, the company became one of the most recognized names in the CBD industry thanks to its naturally grown oil tinctures from farms in Kentucky. Today, their “therapeutic and nutritional alternative” to traditional dog treats are extremely popular in domestic households.

Offering numerous benefits to pets, Pure Kana apparently assists with everything from separation anxiety to loud noises, inducing hunger, anti-aging, nausea and elasticity in the skin. They make it a point to use nothing but organic hemp that is grown in the United States.

Supposedly, PureKana has some of the best hemp growers in the world. The Pure Kana team also uses its own technology to extract the strongest hemp possible with just the right amount of THC in every piece of CBD merchandise. PureKana says everything is tested to ensure quality by preventing potentially dangerous toxins being mixed into the CBD treats for cats and dogs.

PureKana CBD for dogs is free of dairy, soy and gluten. There are no artificial flavors or preservatives. Everything is created with full spectrum CBD, meaning they have other cannabinoids, terpenes, and phytocannabinoids. Farm fresh eggs and oat flour are also found in the mix.

A 3.25 oz bag of 25 treats with 25 mg hemp extract for small dogs (up to 40 pounds) costs approximately $30 a pop. The same size selection of 50 mg CBD goodies for larger canines is about $35.

I like how Pura Kana is stringent about only working with certified companies. I also appreciate the fact that all of their CBD concoctions are tested at a third party facility. To top it off, you can easily look at the PureKana website to see certifications and read all kinds of laboratory reports.

4 Green Roads CBD Oil for Pets

Located in South Florida, Green Roads is a relatively small business, but is growing on a daily basis. Back in 2013, Laura Baldwin Fuentes was a pharmacist who created a smart alternative for a friend suffering from a bad opiate addiction. The pharmacist’s work paid off, as her broad spectrum formulas are now sold in thousands of Green Roads stores across the country, as they are one of the most widely seen brands of CBD sold in the U.S.

Nowadays, Green Roads strives to help men, women and pets with the top CBD products on the market. The store offers a wide variety of CBD merchandise, ranging from oils, edibles and capsules to topicals, syrups and CBD drops designed specifically for pets to keep all users nice and calm. Buyers like Green Roads’ big selection of CBD for dogs and cats. All of Green Roads CBD for our beloved fur-babies is produced domestically from pure hemp and is non GMO, soy free and nonintoxicating. Everything is mixed with MCT oil, making it easier for a pet to digest.

The smaller bottles for petite puppies and felines run approximately $20 each. Each bottle holds 30 ml of CBD with 60 mg of total CBD, equaling 2 mg per serving. The medium sized dogs get 30 ml bottles with 210 mg of CBD for up to 7 mg per serving for about $40. Finally, the big dogs that weigh more than 50 pounds get to enjoy 30 ml bottles with 600 mg of CBD, equaling roughly 20 mg per serving, for a whopping $59.99

Shoppers can keep their eyes open for more Green Roads CBD for pet products hitting the market soon, such as baked treats and soft chews. The CBD oil for pets is most effective when used on a daily basis, but it may take a few days for Marley to start enjoying the benefits of CBD.

I particularly like Green Roads’ highly informative website, such as lab reports. Plenty of essential information is not only present, but it is easy to find, unlike Charlotte’s Web. You can even scan a CBD product’s QR code to learn details about the purity and the quality of the goods?

5 HempMy Pet Hemp Dog Biscuits

Like so many of its competitors, HempMy Pet creates everything from naturally grown hemp in Loveland, Colorado. Since opening its doors in 2016, the company and its founder, Marc Brannigan have been on a mission to improve the daily lives of animals with handmade CBD products.

Ingredients include everything from pumpkin, apples and eggs to garbanzo bean flour, tapioca starch, mint and parsley. Each containing 2 mg of CBD, there are 25 biscuits to a bag. A person is supposed to give a pet one biscuit for every 10 pounds of the animal’s body weight. Of course, pet owners are still instructed to test the waters, as every creature is different.

Besides organic dog biscuits, Hemp My Pet sells human-grade CBD oils and tinctures that are third party tested. There are no solvents and zero pesticides. The goods are made with the CO2 extraction process, and everything is gluten free, GMO free and 100% vegan. Besides dogs and cats, their CBD pet products can also be used on horses.

Hemp My Pet offers a variety of CBD infused items, from a $25 bag of pumpkin flavored hemp extract for small dogs to a $99 jar of 500 mg CBD infused jar of coconut oil infused with CBD and a 1 oz tincture with 1000 mg of CBD for $149. An experimental consumer can grab a Wellness Bundle for $118.

What consumers don’t care for the limited number of products offered by HempMy Pet. Also, people can only get their money back within 30 days if everything remains unopened. That means if it the CBD for pets has no effect on four-legged family member, you are simply out of luck. And according to the internet, there are several buyers who have been left with the short end of the stick.

6 Fab CBD Dog Treats

Fab CBD’s dog treats are crunchy snacks that are made without THC. Relying on a top quality formula of hemp extract, there are still dog-friendly cannabinoids present. They may not be the largest CBD retailer, but Fab CBD is continually growing. Since starting the business in 2018, the company has opened facilities in both Tampa and the U.K.

Formulas and flavor options include peanut butter apple to keep a dog nice and calm. The chicken treats are designed to help a pup’s skin and coat, while the salmon flavor is designed to stimulate the immune system. Along with CBD, they are made with the potent antioxidant turmeric, flaxseeds and milk thistle. Unfortunately, feedback all over the web criticizes Fab CBD’s pet merchandise for its taste. Apparently, owners have to hide the goodies in other food, or their dogs will never eat them.

A pet owner should give anywhere from half a CBD treat to two full ones a day to take the edge off a stressed out pup. Every selection for a dog contains 3 mg of CBD. The CBD for pets runs $34 for a 9 oz bag. If you want to get experimental, you can try all three in an $87 bundle pack.

Too bad that user feedback often claims the taste Fab CBD oil for tinctures leaves in a user’s mouth is quite disappointing. On a positive side, the business website is quite educational and impressive. It claims that their powerful CBD is grown naturally in Colorado with a full spectrum cannabinoid blend. The site is also written in everyday language that an everyday buyer, like us, can relate to, rather than trying to impress anyone with fancy jargon and technical talk.

Consumers like me also appreciate all of product photos shared by (what I assume are) real buyers. This provides plenty of color to the site that other online CBD stores lack. A buyer can discover suggestions about how much to use and how to administer their pets’ CBD online, as well as on the packaging.

7 Canna-Pet

Headquartered in Seattle, Canna Pet is proud to say they’re the only CBD company out there making stuff specifically for pets. Since 2013, the hemp nutrition products have been driven by years of research with thousands of animals. As a result of Canna-Pet’s proprietary formulas, dogs and cats get to efficiently manage anxiety, along with sore joint issues, cancer and other ailments resulting from old age. Today, Canna Pet is found in retail stores and vets’ offices around the world.

The product is derived from natural cannabis and uses the popular CO2 extraction method. Everything is free of animal parts, preservatives, dairy, wheat and sugar. According to the Canna-Pet website, they are the only company on the market to make pet merchandise with 25 different and terpenes. What sets Canna-Pet apart from every other name on this list is that its hemp derived goods are created to use with your pet medications and supplements.

An 8 ounce box of Canna-Biscuits for Dogs: Advanced MaxCBD formula costs about $39. Featuring a Maple Bacon flavor, there are about 40 biscuits in each box. Customer feedback seems to appreciate the big discounts that Canna Pet gives to both shelters and charity organizations. They are involved in research studies for various veterinary universities. Consumers also appreciate the 30 day money back guarantee.

I always like reading customer reviews on business sites and posting photos of dogs and cats gives them authenticity. As far as negatives, I don’t like the fact that Canna Pet doesn’t share their test results on their products or on their business website. It looks like they have something to hide. The CannaPet site says its covered by a number of different pet insurance providers. Maybe it’s just me, but I think of pharmaceuticals, not organic treatments, when dealing with insurance providers. No thanks.

8 Fur Goodness Sake Organic CBD Hemp Gold by OmegaPet

Founded in 2012 and headquartered in Charlotte, North Carolina, Fur Goodness Sake is a family business that strives to keep dogs and cats content and healthy by developing the best dietary supplements available. Labeling their product as “Calm in a bottle,” the oil is made with pure hemp seed extract.

Aiming to make anxious pets calm and cool, Hemp-Gold is third party tested, non GMO and grown in the United States with Co2 extraction. One big difference between HempGold and its competition is the fact that it should be administered to a pet on an empty stomach. Then you still shouldn’t feed the animal for at least another 60 minutes.

1 ounce of 300 mg Hemp Gold in a 30 ml bottle sells on Amazon for about $25, and a 500 mg bottle is roughly $35. Feedback often complains about the products’ high prices. The biggest issue that buyers have with Hemp Gold is made with a thick fatty substance. Even if they’re advised to apply the CBD every day, users find the instructions unclear on how much CBD oil to use at a time. Most people have to depend on trial and error to find their ideal dosages.

I also came across a few negative reviews. For starters, there is a very low amount of CBD in Hemp Gold. Also, most folks don’t follow directions and give the hemp oil to their pets with food. Not only does this cause Hemp Gold to have zero effects on cats and dogs, it also makes other animals sick. There are reports of diarrhea and even aggressiveness. Yikes!

On the bright side, HempGold comes with a money back guarantee. Users also claim that regular use improves effectiveness for reducing separation anxiety and seizures. The company even donates 10 percent of their profits to pet shelters, charities and other not for profit organizations.

9 CBDfx CBD for Pets

CBDfx says their pet CBD oil helps dogs and cats enjoy the same calming benefits as humans. Operating in Southern California since 2015, CBDfx is undoubtably one of the most popular names in the domestic industry. Making it a point to sell nothing but naturally grown hemp products on a Kentucky farm, CBDfx now sells everything from gummies and vape juice to CBD pens, topicals, oil tinctures and various other products, including CBD for cats and dogs.

A buyer can choose from three different strengths of CBD oil for pets, 150 mg, 300 mg and a whopping 600 mg for the big dogs. A buyer can choose how to administer the CBD to his or her pup or kitty. Some drop the CBD oil right into the animal’s mouth, and others prefer to place a little on top of a meal or treats. There is no right or wrong way to give CBD to your dog or cat. Whatever you decide, you can purchase the right sized bottle to go with your fur baby.

All of the CBD in the treats for cats and dogs is extracted with care using supercritical CO2 extraction. Besides cannabinoids, the CBD oil for dogs and cats is plentiful in terpenes, amino acids and fatty acids. There are zero toxic elements, or any nasty chemicals used. Rather, every ingredient in the pet CBD oil is completely safe and natural. It has also been tested. In fact, a consumer can read about the products in reports issued by a third party laboratory.

Prices are $29.99 for 30 ml of 150 mg of CBD oil for small dogs and cats, $44.99 for a 30 ml bottle of 300 mg for medium breeds, and $69.99 for 600 mg of 30 ml of CBD designed for large pets. Buyers can experiment here and there before choosing the ideal portion of CBD to give their four-legged family members.

10 Highland Pharms PAWS+ CBD for Pets

Highland Pharms PAWS+ CBD for dogs, cats, rabbits, ferrets and horses relies on organic ingredients mixed with its own hemp extract. Despite the “Pharm” in the company’s name, Highland makes it a point to use zero pharmaceuticals in their high grade CBD products. Since a cancer patient named Luke Johnston opened it in Texas in 2015, Highland Pharms has made Olympia, Washington its headquarters.

Using organic hemp that comes from a farm in Colorado, Highland Pharms CBD for pets claims to be produced in the best natural conditions possible. What supposedly sets Highland Pharms apart from their competition is their full spectrum hemp extract that has all the same cannabinoids and phytonutrients as hemp plants.

The Highland Pharms website claims that ALL of their products for sale can be used for all pets, ranging from dogs and cats to horses and ostriches. I don’t know about you, but I just don’t see myself, or even my Labrador retriever taking the same hemp extract as the Black Stallion or Seabiscuit.

Highland Pharms PAWS+ CBD oil for pets is available in two sizes. The 25 ml bottle of 100 mg runs $24.95. The same size with 250 mg costs $39.95. There is also a total of 60 small cheddar flavored pet treats in a 5 mg of CBD for animals under 25 pounds for $59.95 and a 30 count of large pet treats with 15 mg of CBD for larger animals. The ingredients include dried cheddar cheese, yellow peas, potatoes and cranberries.

Besides the confusing pharmaceutical-like name, what turned me off the most about Highland Pharms is its business website. The pages are anything but user-friendly. Also, I am certain that tinctures are not the easiest way to give CBD to a pet. Why not mix it into an edible and make it fun to give the little munchkin a delightful bite?

Want to know more about CBD treats for cats and dogs? Look no further…

IS IT SAFE TO GIVE CBD TO A PET?

Yes, CBD treats are safe for both dogs and cats. Just look for CBD merchandise with less than .3% of tetrahydrocannabidol, a.k.a. THC. That way, you never have to worry about your little munchkin getting high and experiencing any unwanted psychoactive effects or even the munchies. While you can always read books and trustworthy websites for advice, you should always talk to a vet about what CBD products and dosages to use.

WHAT CBD PRODUCTS SHOULD I GIVE TO A DOG OR CAT?

When shopping for the best CBD oil for pets available, be sure to look for natural CBD treats. It is also important that all the goodies are made in the U.S. with no additives or chemicals, such as pesticides. It is also important to administer the right dose to your cat or dog. While some boxes and blogs give directions, it is best to experiment a little until you find the right dosage for your furry little buddy.

HOW LONG DOES CBD STAY IN A DOG OR CAT’S SYSTEM?

Once you give your beloved pet a CBD treat, it will start to kick in within 10 to 30 minutes. A person can then expect CBD and its positive effects on dogs and cats to last for approximately 6 hours at a time. Regardless, the CBD will stay in your pet’s body for several days. Generally speaking, you should give your pet 1 to 2 mg of CBD on a daily basis. It depends if you are dealing with a 10 pound kitty or a 120 pound Labrador retriever. With a bit of trial and error, you’ll have no trouble figuring out how much CBD oil to use on little Athena and hefty Precious.

WHAT DO I HAVE TO SEARCH FOR WHEN BUYING CBD OIL FOR PETS?

When looking to buy CBD oil for cats and dogs, it is crucial to know where it was made. A consumer can only trust merchandise created in the United States. Otherwise, you could be spending your money on nothing more than expensive water, or worse. Your beloved pet’s safety may come into question. Also, be sure to look for the CBD product’s ingredients on the package, or at least on the company website. If you cannot find them, beware! The manufacturer may have something to hide.

WHAT EFFECTS WILL CBD HAVE ON MY PET?

CBD products for sale have a reputation for helping dogs and cats to relax, whether the animal is scared of a thunderstorm or going through separation anxiety. When you need to get your four-legged monster to chill out, ask your veterinarian about CBD treats to manage stress in your pet.

ARE THERE CANNABINOID RECEPTORS IN DOGS AND CATS?

The brains of cats and dogs have cannabinoid receptors. As a matter of fact, the furry animals possess more cannabinoid receptors than we do. In other words, legal CBD products are often more useful to our pets’ physical, emotional and mental states than they are for men and women.

IS IT OKAY TO GIVE MY CBD OIL TO A DOG OR CAT?

While CBD can have wonderful effects on pets, you should not give any products made for humans to a dog or a cat. Most of the CBD goods for humans are made with much higher concentration of cannabidiol. That’s means you could end up giving your four-legged family member a bit too much CBD. It’s okay, nothing bad will happen. In fact, it is not possible to overdose on CBD. It is just a shame to waste such a valuable product.

HOW ARE CBD TREATS FOR DOGS AND CATS PRODUCED?

The best CBD products available, including CBD for pets, is created with natural hemp, as opposed to marijuana. As a result, the merchandise contains less than .3% THC, which is nearly enough to give an animal the euphoric high associated with mary jane. Meanwhile, all the hemp should be grown organically on domestic farms and thoroughly tested to ensure safety and effectiveness.

IS IT AGAINST THE LAW TO GIVE CBD TO A DOG OR CAT?

No, it is now completely legal to buy and administer CBD products for pets in all 50 states, thanks to the 2018 Farm Bill. You just have to make sure that the CBD goods are derived from the hemp plant, as opposed to marijuana. If not, the pet snacks may have more than .3% THC. Not only is that illegal in many states, but the CBD treats may make an animal high. As long as your CBD items stem from domestic hemp, you and your pets have nothing to fear.

HOW DO I CHOOSE THE BEST CBD FOR PETS?

As a consumer and a caring pet owner, it is up to you to get nothing but the best for your dogs and cats. Fortunately, getting the top CBD treats for your furry little guys and gals couldn’t be any easier. There is a seemingly endless supply of information and products on the internet. That’s why it’s always smart to speak to a veterinarian to confirm that you are getting a high quality CBD oil for a good price. While you certainly don’t want to purchase the cheapest supplies on the market, there is no need to spend an arm and a leg to get exactly what you want and need.

HOW DOES CBD KEEP CATS AND DOGS CALM?

CBD is often extremely effective when it comes to keeping a pet calm and cool. Maybe it is during a terrible storm or perhaps while there are strangers walking around the house. Whatever the case may be, the right CBD treats can help an animal relax by binding to its serotonin receptors. Daily stressors won’t magically disappear, but the right CBD products are known to help dogs and cats relax.

DO CBD TREATS FOR DOGS AND CATS HAVE TO BE LABRATORY TESTED?

Yes, it is crucial that you only buy CBD pet treats that have undergone testing at a third party lab. Look for a laboratory’s name on the packaging, along with the ingredients. You should also make sure that you only purchase CBD merchandise that stems from hemp and are made in the United States. Otherwise, you have no idea what you are putting into your system. Your overall safety can come into question. Thankfully, it couldn’t be easier for you the consumer to do a little homework online to find the best CBD products for cats and dogs.

HOW SHOULD I STORE CBD SNACKS FOR PETS?

It is always best to keep your CBD products protected from light and heat. Store them in a dark and cool setting, like your fridge or freezer. By keeping everything in a controlled environment, the CBD goodies for your puppies and kitties will have much longer shelf lives. While a refrigerator can help the best CBD for dogs and cats last for roughly 6 weeks at a time, a freezer can keep everything potent, as well as tasty for about 6 months.

IS ALL CBD FOR PETS MERCHANDISE THE SAME?

No, the world of CBD retail is full of various products for dogs, cats, horses and other animals. While there are plenty of recognizable CBD brands out there that are respectable, there are even more CBD vendors that simply cannot be trusted. It is up to you, the buyer, to find a reliable CBD for pets by doing a little homework. Make sure everything has the ingredients listed and was manufactured in the United States. Otherwise, your safety could come into question. It also vital that your CBD goods stem from hemp, as opposed to THC-rich marijuana. Don’t be afraid to test different CBD items. What may work wonders on your neighbor’s cat may have zero effect on your dog, and vice versa.

[shimmershae]

"I can't see anything."  (a Walking Dead ficlet, Caryl AU).

Because I'm in a sappy mood and wanted to play pretend, lol, have a dash of married Caryl with a whole lot of sugar, a little bit of spice, and everything nice. 

 AKA, Shae's little fic of unicorns, rainbow cupcakes, and Caryl babies. 

 You're welcome. 

  Carol’s icing her third batch of cupcakes, humming along to some sappy song on the radio when she hears him shuffle into the kitchen and sigh.  It’s a pitiful, long-suffering sound.  Almost a groan actually, and he does it not just once, but twice for maximum effect.  Her eyes are reaching skyward even as her lips are tugging into an amused smile.  “I’m sorry,” she murmurs.  “What was that, Pookie?” 

  “Said,” he draws out the word, stretches it until it’s almost unrecognizable before he finishes in what can only reasonably be classified as a cross between a grumble and a huff.  All of it somehow managed without the benefit of air.  “Can’tseeanything.” 

  Her shoulders are quaking silently before she even sets the piping bag aside.  “Is that one word?” she finally manages.  “I can’t really tell.”  His muffled Stop isn’t enough to deter her teasing.  When she finally turns around, she loses all semblance of composure, her hands lifting to her face in a hopeless effort to stem her sputtering laughter. 

  “Woman,” he warns. 

  She can’t take him seriously, though.  The giant unicorn head sitting astride his broad shoulders with its flowing purple hair band mane makes that an impossibility, and she’s thankful for the counter at her back when her limbs go weak or else she’d be a puddle on the floor.  As it is, Sophia’s baby brother doesn’t take too kindly to being roused so abruptly from his afternoon nap because he gives her bladder a retaliatory kick and before she knows it, she’s the one begging him to stop.  Or in this case, take the costume off.  Their little girl’s surprise party is still a couple hours away, after all.  “I can’t.  Daryl.  Take it off.” 

  That’s all the encouragement he needs, and he’s rounding the island in the blink of an eye, stepping up toe to toe with her.  “Still don’t know what the hell I was thinkin’.”

  His hands gravitate to her rounded belly, and the answering push of their son’s feet against his palms makes her smile and wince almost simultaneously.  He notices.  Of course, he does.  She’s the one groaning when those same hands slide to her back and press and knead at all the knots and sore spots there.  “We both know what you were thinking.” 

  He ducks his head when her hands find his hair, tenderly comb each spiky dark blond strand back into place.  “Couldn’t love that little girl more if…just…” 

  Emotion gets the better of him, and his blue eyes glitter as they gaze up at her.  “She’s just as much yours as this one is,” she tells him, gently removing his hand from his mouth and guiding it back down to her belly.  “Lori’s not going to be able to distract her forever.  You know how homesick she gets.”

  “Yeah,” he agrees.  His lips feather over the messy tumble of her red curls before he pulls back and eyes the cupcakes lining every available inch of the countertop with longing.  “Need help with those?”  He’s poking a finger into the icing on one and sucking it into his mouth before she even has a chance to decline, grinning at her in his shy, sly Daryl way.  “How many people we expectin’ for this shindig anyway?” he deflects when she attempts to glare at him.  “Just one ain’t gonna hurt.” 

  Giving in with a sigh, she grabs one of the cupcakes for herself, carefully peeling the wrapper away and taking a small bite.  “Or two.  All of Sophia’s kindergarten class at least.” 

  Her word choice doesn’t escape his notice, and mouth full of cupcake, he frowns.  “At least?”

  “At least,” she reiterates with a guilty crinkle of her nose.  “Also, I might have invited the whole church.”

  “Sophia’s entire class and the whole church?  You tellin’ me half of King County’s gonna see…” 

  She cuts him off by cramming her cupcake into his babbling mouth and smearing the icing all over his lips and scruff, then kissing him.  “Sophia’s going to love it,” she reminds him between tiny pecks to his mouth.     

  “Don’t play fair, Woman,” he grumbles as he pulls her into his arms and tucks her head beneath his chin. 

  She snorts and he tightens his arms around her in turn.  “You knew that when you married me.”  When she feels him start to vibrate with suppressed laughter of his own, her curiosity gets the better of her.  “What?” 

  “Nothing.” 

  “Pookie.” 

  “Just…” 

  “Spit it out.  Please.  Your son is tap dancing on my bladder again.”

  “My son?  Thought he was ours.” 

  “Daryl.”

  “Just occurred to me.  Kids are gonna be shittin’ rainbows for a week.” 

  “How old did you say you were again?” 

  “Stop.”

[authentic-poetry-blog]

Lets Talk #2: Who's invited to the Cookout?

If you are on social media, specifically Twitter, you would know the saying, "You're invited to the cookout." This saying is an open invitation to someone outside the black/brown race to join us in our cookout experience. The cookout has been a tradition in the black community since Jesus Christ(Okay, maybe not then, but you get the idea.)

The cookout is a non-holiday gathering. You know how black cookouts are: showing up at 12pm, but not eating until 3pm, Uncle Pookie on the grill with his sandals, Auntie playing Luther Vandross talking about her glory days, the OGs of the family drunk playing spades, flag football/basketball for the guys, the ladies talking about hair or their children. (If you do not know any of these references, you must not belong at the cookout, or haven't been invited.)The cookout is the ultimate carefree Black experience. The cookout is the safe haven for the black community. The one place where we are free to exist in all of our blackness around our family and friends. 

"The Cookout" is a black-owned space of joy, love, peace, and whatever drama we choose. 

I saw three tweets a few days ago: one, inviting a white girl and guy to the cookout for hitting a racist; two, Abraham Lincoln taking a knee with various black figures; and three, Eminem's rap cypher from the Hip-Hop Awards. I also saw tweets inviting Jerry Jones, Dallas Cowboys general manager, for taking a knee during the anthem. I saw a tweet uninviting P!NK to the cookout for having hope in Trump. I saw tweet inviting a white girl wearing a "Immigrants make America great" shirt to the cookout.

Let me say this as simple as possible, NONE OF THEM ARE INVITED TO THE COOKOUT. A shirt, taking a knee, a rap, a "woke" tweet, hitting a racist, BREATHING does not get you an invite to our stress-free, racial-free gathering.

Let's be clear, white people should not be given a free invitation into our experience as if they earned. They already feel entitled enough because they are white. Are we ever given free invitation into their gala's? or their family dinners? Are we treated as family when we are around them? Are we comfortable in their white spaces?

The cookout is a time where we can be comfortable around our own kind without having to look the part or fall into respectability politics.

What Twitter has done is open up a sacred Black space to outsiders who are not appreciative of the space. I say sacred because at our cookouts we are most vulnerable. We exist and live freely. And whenever we do so and white gets in the mix, disaster comes or violence. Simple acts of morality is nothing spectacular. All it shows is that you are human. Lets start with the first video I linked about the girl and guy hitting a racist. Though I condone the actions of a white person attacking a racist, it still does not mean they can identify with the black struggle in anyway. They did a great thing that many black people wish we had the privilege to do with out repercussions. However, its not enough for me to open my cookout to them.

Okay now lets get into this image below:

Do you notice anyone thats out of place in this image? Of course you do! Why the hell is Abraham Lincoln in this image, as if he ended slavery and racism? Lets be clear, the Emancipation Proclamation did not end slavery, it was an executive order freeing slaves. This image is a visual of "You're invited to the cookout." I THINK THE F*CK NOT! 

Twitter has created a "woke" space for anyone to be "deep" and ignorant. And if you believe support this image, you are one of those people. Let me give you a few facts about Lincoln. 1. He owned slaves; two, he did not believe blacks and whites should share the same rights; three, the Emancipation Proclamation did not free all slaves. So, if you say  "Lincoln can come to the cookout," I will respond, "I THINK THE F*CK NOT!" Lincoln is no different than many white politicians. He didn't do anything worth opening our black spaces to him. 

Lastly, Does Eminem get an invite to the cookout?

I love Eminem. I think he is a great lyricist and artist. I love his music and the way he can express his life experiences. This year he performed in a cypher for the BET Hip-Hop Awards. I am here for everything he said. I do not disagree with anything. But, the visual and the people are my concern. First, I understand that some of the black men behind him are his friends, however, this image portrays a white savior. In the video, you see Eminem rapping about Trump and his bigotry, while in the background there is a group of black men in all black. A white savior refers to a white person who acts to help non-white people, with the help in some contexts perceived to be self-serving. Some examples of white savior complexes are Freedom Writers(2007), The Soloist(2009), and The Blindside (2009). A white savior belittles the oppressed and demonstrates that they cannot save themselves. Its like "Captain-save-a-hoe" instead its "Captain Save-A-Nigger."   

I understand that Eminem is a "conscious" artist. He utilized his platform and privilege to speak on the fault in Trump and his presidency. However, when I see POC worship him as if, he did a miraculous thing, I am confused. I can consider Eminem as an ally, but I am unsure if I would invite him to the cookout. Hear me out, yes, he used his privileged for the oppressed, and yes he is conscious about the racial and presidential tension that exists, but is that something out of the ordinary? In other words, did he do something that we, black people, have not been doing or saying? We invented putting the fist in the air for black power. We been calling Trump out on his racist, sexist, inconsiderate, kamikaze ways. We already say everything, that white allies just now have the courage to say.

The "cookout" is for us. Its our safe-haven. Its our black ritual. When we invite people who do not appreciate it or understand the value of it, we are gentrifying our experience for public acceptance of not being considered exclusive or anti-white. I am not anti-white, but I am pro-black. That means I am for black exclusive spaces. I am for black exclusivity. The issue comes when the white race take black exclusivity as a means of segregation. No, I am not promoting Jim Crow behaviors, but I am promoting the right to have black spaces without the interference of whiteness. 

[baldwin-montclair]

Baldwin’s Nightingale (Part 12)

Characters: Baldwin Montclair/OC

Timeframe: After the S1 Finale, TV Show canon MOSTLY with some S2, Shadow of Night and Book of Life.

Summary: After a tense exchange in their rooms, Baldwin and Alisha join the festivities. However, residual animosity and unanswered questions try the couple’s bond.

Tag requests: @christi14 @poemfreak306 @pookie-cleary @hofficoffi @stormyheart326 @sylverdeclermont

The Story So Far

“I would like to say a few words.” Gallowglass stood up from the table, wine goblet in hand.

“Only a few?” Baldwin muttered in sarcastic disbelief.

The dinner had been way more courses than required for a gathered group consisting of just less than half not actually partaking in much more than nuts, extremely rare cuts of veal and red wine.

“I for one would love to hear what you have to say Gallowglass!” Alisha smiled sweetly, and pointedly at Baldwin.

“You shouldn’t encourage him,” Marcus warned, “or else he might never shut up.”

“Listen to this one, as if he couldn’t talk the back legs off a horse!” Sarah ribbed Marcus with obvious affection.

Nathaniel chuckled as he bounced little Margaret against his shoulder.

“Gallowglass, ignore him, please continue.” Alisha encouraged.

“Thank you Auntie.” He raised the goblet towards her in gratitude as Marcus put a hand over his heart in mock offence.

“Yes, please, by all means, get on with it!” Baldwin scowled but there was no malice in it, he even seemed to be enjoying his role as grinch of the festivities.

Alisha put her hand over his and he glanced across at her before kissing the back of her hand.

“Not only is she very sweet and obviously patient but she has somehow managed to make our uncle smile for what has to be the first time in at least a few hundred years.”

“Listen, it’s definitely a first for me.” Marcus offered.

“You both exaggerate.” Baldwin chided.

“I’m not sure they do.” Ysabeau agreed, making Sarah laugh.

“That can’t be true,” Sophie disagreed and received a grateful nod from Baldwin, “he seems so nice!”

Alisha cleared her throat, trying not to show her obvious amusement at the look of abject horror on her husband’s face at being called ‘nice’.

“My apologies,” Gallowglass acknowledged Sophie, “I do exaggerate, Baldwin really is, so very...nice.” He struggled to get the word out without falling into a heap of laughter.

“I will ground you!” Alisha threatened and Gallowglass raised his hands in mock surrender.

“I’ll be good,” he promised, making a gesture of crossing his heart, “all else said, I’m happy for the both of you.”

“We must plan the wedding,” Ysabeau lifted her glass, “formalise the private engagement.”

“We are not engaged, Ysabeau. Alisha is my mate and she is my wife. As head of the family I have the authority to, as you say, formalise the union.”

“Do you really think you would be permitted a private ceremony? Your father was very clear on procedure!”

“Ysabeau, you seem to be under the illusion that my word and my authority with regards to our marriage is not sufficient.” Baldwin answered but Alisha got the impression it was not directed at Ysabeau as much as it was a reminder of his position as the head of the family.

“I hold no such opinion, Baldwin, I am merely a conduit for the will of your father.”

“After his death I asked you if he left me any instruction so you either lied then or you are lying now.”

“I did not lie, he left you no such instruction.”

“If it’s your father’s wishes...” Alisha reasoned, trying to diffuse the tension when she noted Marcus’ wide eyes as he shook his head for her benefit only.

He was trying to warn her against getting in the middle and she gratefully took his advice and remained silent.

“See, at least the girl has some sense of propriety.” Ysabeau needled.

“I do not know how to be any clearer,” Baldwin’s voice was both quiet and commanding, “our union is lawful and valid.”

“Lawful and valid? Am I to understand it has also been consummated?”

“Grandmother!” Marcus exclaimed.

“It has.”

Alisha stared at him in shock and pulled her hand back.

“Excuse me.” She stood, departing the table and the ensuing staring contest.

Overestimating her sense of direction, she got lost on her way back to the tower, finding herself instead in a hallway with a long tapestry adorning the walls.

Sure he’d be right after her, she waited, nothing.

A few moments later, still no Baldwin.

His battle of wills with Ysabeau was clearly at a standstill.

It was probably for the best, she was so angry she’d probably curse him out in such a way that the castle had not heard in its long life. He had no right to share their intimate affairs in front of everyone like that and as though it was nothing, not just nothing but he’d used it as a missile against his step-mother, caring nothing for her feelings on the matter.

Asshole

Were they even really married, she wondered, her eyes drawn to the party atmosphere depicted on a particularly vibrant tapestry. It captured the jovial atmosphere the dinner had been until the matter of a wedding came up.

Her decision had been made, she wanted to be with him and even if she didn’t particularly like him at that moment, she knew that she loved him. She wasn’t so much regretting her decision as she was understanding the full scope of it.

“You should go back,” Marthe joined her, “just don’t expect him to apologise.”

“Marthe.” Alisha greeted, she had met the vampire when she fetched her and Baldwin for dinner.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course, just know that I am not be best placed to advise you on how to manage your husband.”

“I’m not sure he even is my husband.”

“Ysabeau’s push for a public ceremony is to satisfy your tenants, that’s all. Those people whose ancestors have guarded and protected us for hundreds of years. The wedding is a formality, as a vampire it is plain as day that you are both mated.”

Alisha nodded, wanting to think about anything other than the argument happening upstairs.

“You have such a beautiful tapestries in this place.” She complimented.

“Philippe had this one moved down here, he didn’t like to look at it.”

“What’s it supposed to depict?”

“A peace treaty. Philippe agreed to back Henry of Navarre’s claim to the throne and the Pope’s representative, the venetian doge, had the tapestry created to memorialise the occasion.“

“Did something happen during this, whatever, looks like a party.”

“I wasn’t there. Ysabeau did not support Henry’s claim, we departed whilst the negotiations took place.”

“So you don’t know why Baldwin’s father hid it down here?”

“You should ask Baldwin, he was in attendance.”

“Ask me what?” His voice, layered with impatience reached them before he did.

“We were talking about this-“ Alisha started.

“Marthe, could you give us some privacy?” Baldwin cut her off.

Marthe simply gave a vague shrug and left them.

“That was unnecessary,” Alisha hissed, “she was being friendly.” She turned to leave when Baldwin caught her arm.

“Are you upset about Ysabeau’s wedding talk?” He asked, genuinely confused.

“No, Baldwin, I’m upset because you decided to one-up your step-mother by telling everyone about our sex life.”

“This isn’t the Middle Ages, do you believe anyone at that table did not suspect we had been together in that sense? I did not exactly go into detail and I do not believe that is the reason you are upset.”

“Oh, really, it isn’t?”

“Honestly? You’ve been distant all evening and as angry as you were by my confirmation, I believe it was simply the last straw in whatever great offence I have unknowingly committed.”

“You can’t even imagine what you did, can you?”

Baldwin shook his head before what seemed like a realisation sunk in.

“Gods, Alisha, you know what I am, if it’s the hunting that bothers you-“

“What the fuck kind of Pollyanna do you think I am? I know you need to hunt, that’s not it.”

“Then tell me!”

“Just forget it.”

“Alisha, do not make me repeat myself.”

“Or else, what?” She challenged.

“Excuse me?” Baldwin still had a grip on her arm and drew her closer to him, his expression darkening.

“Don’t make you repeat yourself, don’t ever lie to you. Maybe you need to be clear and actually tell me what you will do to me if I break your rules.” He released her arm and stepped back, processing her words.

“Do to you?”

“See, I kinda thought it was so very sexy in the beginning, you telling me to do something in that stern way you do.”

“Alisha, listen to me-“

“Tonight was the first time I was genuinely afraid of you, did you know that?“ She asked quietly, if he had been anything other than a vampire he would not have heard.

He didn’t say anything but his expression told her the answer.

“You’re the vampire, you can’t sense fear?”

“Witches blood,” he answered curtly, “it drowns everything else out.”

He turned away, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to compose himself.

When he turned back, his expression was cold as stone.

“You are missed at the gathering upstairs, you should return.”

“Aren’t you coming-“ she stepped towards him.

“No, I have matters to attend.” He said simply and left and she started after him.

Ysabeau stepped into her path.

“Let him go. There are matters of our own to discuss.”

Alisha looked around the small study, then to Ysabeau seated at the other end of the large desk. An small, ornate chest sat on the table between them.

“I have to talk to him, I can’t leave it like that.”

“You will, but first I must honour my own husband’s wishes and impart your inheritance.”

“My what?”

“Philippe came to understand the unlikelihood of a potential mate of Baldwin, or Marcus, Gallowglass arriving with a dowry. So, he provided one. Open the chest.”

Alisha stood, unsure, but lifted the lid on the container. Inside were various deeds and stock certificates as well as a small velvet box.

Inside was filled with precious stones, almost every colour.

“This’ insane. Do you know how much wealth is in this box?” Alisha closed it over.

“A fraction of what your husband has in his various holdings but that is his domain after all.”

“Does he know about this?” She asked Ysabeau.

“No, I believe he’ll be surprised to see these properties resurface. He probably believes them lost in a careless bet at Versailles.”

“But-“

“You are a De Clermont now, you have to stop viewing all of this as an undeserved windfall and see it for the privilege and responsibility that it is.”

“I hate to break it to you but I’m already struggling in my first responsibility, obedience.” Alisha confessed, retaking her seat across from the vampire.

“It will take some time to adjust.”

“Baldwin’s father demanded the same of you?”

“I was his mate, part of a family he commanded. Vampires do not stop resenting one another when they are forced together and if the leader is not strong the family will tear itself apart. Many dynasties suffered that fate over the centuries. I had to submit to his will just as you have to submit to Baldwin’s.”

“Every command comes with a threat though, right?”

“If it is genuine. If not then it is worthless. Your husband does not make idle threats and he keeps his house in order.“

“So, just do as I’m told?”

“Marcus told me you were bitten?” Ysabeau countered, diverting the subject.

“A vampire called Guillermo,” Alisha sighed, “Baldwin showed up before he could kill me, he saved me.”

“But you were marked.”

“Baldwin used his own blood, he said that got rid of the scent.”

“And it has, I would not have known had Marcus not told me.”

“Do you think it bothers Baldwin?”

“Of course, he probably doesn’t even realise it. Does he get oddly possessive when you are around other creatures?”

“Like Witches?”

“Something happened.” It was not a question.

Alisha wanted help but she was unsure of the propriety of sharing this with her when she had taken him to task earlier for a similar offence.

“Whatever you tell me stays private, you have my word.”

“Okay. After Baldwin returned from hunting, Em was introducing herself-”

“Wait, Baldwin returned from his hunt and there was a witch in his tower?”

“Is that bad?”

“One of few things I admire in my step-son is his self control, if anything he’s gained more respect from me in that regard! Mix a witch and a new mate bond with a recently bitten warmblood and I’m astounded everyone is still alive.”

“So, this is because of what Guillermo did?”

“In a sense. Vampires have a need to protect their mate and whilst he knows you are safe here, he cannot sense you. It’s a war between the rational and the instinctual.”

“I could go hunting with him.”

“He would never allow that.”

Alisha nodded, she’s expected as much herself.

“Sense me how?”

“Your scent.”

“So he wouldn’t have to see me? If my scent was there but I was not-“

“It could pacify the instinct until you were reunited.” Ysabeau agreed, “it could work.”

“Let’s hope.”

Margaret was enamoured by the bow of the red silk ribbon now tied around Alisha’s wrist, watching as the movement of the bow on the violin made it shine in the light.

She was seated on her father’s lap as Gallowglass and Marcus led Sophie, Sarah and Em in a traditional dance.

Ysabeau watched from her chair, clapping the beat.

Alisha was both playing and following the boys’ instruction, picking the movements up with seemingly no effort.

“Wow, you got the hang of that fast Auntie!” Marcus complimented.

“Who needs a step class when I have you two?”

“Well, I can’t get the hang of this part!” Sarah laughed, trying to synchronise her movements with that of Em beside her.

At the close of the song, Alisha performed a courtly bow in Ysabeau’s direction as the Mistress of Ceremony.

“You would have been a natural at court,” Ysabeau complimented, “and poor Baldwin would have been beside himself when you’d caught the king’s attention.”

“Which one?” Marcus chuckled.

“All of them,” Gallowglass replied, “we would have been constantly at war when our dear Uncle killed every noble who looked at you!”

“Thank...you...?” She hesitated, not sure if it was flattery.

“No. Thank you! I haven’t had a good dance like that in a long time.”

“Just don’t sing, for the love of god!” Marcus pleaded with him.

“Hush,” Ysabeau reprimanded, “Gallowglass you have a beautiful singing voice.”

Gallowglass childishly stuck his tongue out at his cousin who simply rolled his eyes and offered Alisha a glass of scotch.

“Yes please.” She gratefully placed her violin in the case and took the glass from Marcus.

Sarah’s eyes travelled over the instrument with interest.

“Is this a family heirloom?”

“God no, my parents got this for me when I was ten, it goes everywhere with me.”

“I know it’s priceless to you but would you mind if I had a closer look?”

“I wouldn’t mind at all.” She placed the glass on the table and lifted the violin from the well worn case, placing it in Sarah’s hands.

The witch turned it over displaying the strange knot design on the underside.

“This wasn’t engraved, it’s actually the grain of the wood.” Sarah said with wonder.

“How’s that possible?” Marcus looked at the instrument with interest.

“I don’t know,” she answered absently, “do you know where your parents got this?”

“Some second hand store,” she shrugged, “they didn’t have much money.”

“But they clearly loved you to give you such a unique gift.” Em said pointedly to Sarah and the other nodded in agreement.

“It’s a beautiful piece, they were lucky to have found it.” She handed Alisha back the violin.

“Thank you.” Alisha was unconvinced by their attempt to explain away the marking.

They knew something that they did not want the others to discover and she would have to be patient to find out what that was.

Alisha started the climb to Baldwin’s tower, the mystery around the markings on the back of her violin still nagging at her mind.

Gallowglass had offered to carry it up for her but she politely declined given Baldwin’s unease about having other creatures in the tower at the same time as her.

She didn’t wish to be the reason for a fight between the men.

Guillermo’s attack on her clearly had a much more destructive impact on Baldwin than she’d realised. Agreeing to become his mate took the edge off this somewhat but he was struggling.

It was a new situation for them both.

Ysabeau was right, they both had to adjust and she hoped that the silk ribbon idea would work.

Opening the door she found him seated at his desk, a glass of red wine beside two open laptops.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be quiet, you’re clearly busy.” She promised, placing the violin case on a nearby chair and kicking off her ballet pumps.

“Too busy to spend time with my wife?” He teased, closing the screens and pushing them to the side to give him space to lean his elbows on the desk.

She was already resolved to give him a pass for his behaviour.

His determined stare, coupled with the rolled up shirt sleeves and lack of a tie was just overkill.

“Obviously, or you wouldn’t have missed your nephews teach us how to party like it was 1699.”

“Your nephews,” he corrected, “what is that?” He nodded in confusion at the ribbon.

“It’s an idea I’m testing, a way to be with you when I’m not there.”

“I don’t follow.”

“My scent, it transfers to the ribbon and when we are apart, you take it with you.”

“Like a Knight’s Favour?”

“In that case, brave knight, I will give you the honour of wearing my favour in the tourney.”

“And in battle.”

“I’m glad I met you in this time. I’m not cut out to be pinning at the window of a tower awaiting my husband’s return from war. Getting to see you in full armour on a horse would be some consolation I suppose.”

“Can you ride?”

“Baldwin, I have never been within touching distance of a horse.”

“I will instruct you.”

“Marthe insists I learn how to sew if I am to make proper favours.” She walked around the desk to stand between it and his chair.

“Then I’m glad you’ll be kept busy,” he took her hand in his, “the Congregation has been called. I must attend.”

“Okay, I’ll go with you.”

“No sweetheart. You are under the protection of the Knights of Lazarus, this is your sanctuary and I will only be a few days.”

“You almost started a vampire vs witch war in this very room after only being apart for an hour. What will it be like after several days?”

“Fortunately for me,” he wrapped his fingers around the ribbon on her wrist, “you had an idea.”

“I’ve only had it on for just over two hours and there’s no telling it will even work-“

He stood and silenced her doubts with a kiss.

“It will, and I can help.”

“How?”

“Your scent becomes stronger when you are in a heightened state.”

“What, like pain?”

“I was thinking just the opposite and by my calculations, I have enough time to put you in that state at least twice.” He explained, effortlessly lifting her to sit on the desk with his hands on her waist.

The first was easily won as she gripped the edge of the desk, her legs over his shoulders as he demonstrated just how adept he truly was with his tongue.

Her second arrived with his own, in the more intimate setting of their bed, in his arms and between tender kisses and whispered declarations of affection.

“Sorry, I was trying not to wake you.” Baldwin sat on the edge of the bed.

“How long have I been asleep?” She asked groggily.

“Not long.”

She noted the bags by the door and her now clothed husband dressed for departure, the realisation hitting like a sucker punch, he was leaving.

“I’ll come see you off.” She moved to get up but instead encountered his hands on her shoulders.

“You will not, it is freezing out there,” he tenderly stroked her cheek with his thumb, “I will see you again soon.”

“Don’t forget this.” She moved to untie the ribbon.

“Let me.”

She nodded and watched as he slowly pulled apart the bow and unravelled the material from her skin.

“If Marthe has her way I’ll have a much fancier one for your return.” She joked, trying not to think about how much she was going to miss him.

“I’ll look forward to it, and I’ve been thinking,” he sighed, “perhaps we should humour Ysabeau’s request, for the sake of peace.” He suggested, winding the ribbon around his fingers and placing it safely in the inside pocket of his jacket.

The unspoken reason she read loud and clear was his reluctance to act against his father’s wishes.

“I agree.”

“Then it’s decided.” He nodded in finality.

“Come back, as soon as you can.” She placed a hand on his chest and he responded by covering it with his own.

“I promise you that I won’t stay away a second longer than I have to.” He assured and leant forward to place a final kiss on her lips before standing to leave.

“I love you, very much. I hope you know that.” She called after him.

“And I love you, Little Nightingale.”

———

PART 13