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1ddiscourseoftheday · 4 years ago

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🪐Tues 1 Dec ‘20🍌

Harry Styles Reacts to Banana Innuendo by Creating More Banana Innuendo

A little bit of Harry today but packing a big, uh, impact; there were pictures of the DWD set where one of the blurry blobs is distinctively Harold, and a much clearer fan pic of him driving a top down convertible in Palm Springs recently, personifying old Hollywood glamour looks even off the set, and! We see him in the Variety Hitmakers promo vid briefly, like very briefly, I literally blinked and missed it the first time, but the amount of information he gets across in those 4 or 5 frames! WOW. Okay so first of all he's wearing a necklace that is literally A DICK BANANA! It's a penis in a banana peel!! I mean we have always been knew that Harry was a big lover of... bananas... but he really just said no more subtext this time damn. It being Gucci is just the hilarious sprinkle on the sundae, they are really making the content Harry deserves huh? But let's not let that distract us from unpeeling the rest of this iconic look- his shirt says 'waiting for sunset', I see your sun reference there sir, and his sweater, an iconic cardigan first seen 3 years ago (it's the space boy sweater!!!), features daffodils, a heart pierced by an arrow (wait do those two things... go together or something...?), two birds, bugs and butterflies, and fish! Also it's beautiful. Someone make recreating these a tiktok trend please and tell me how to make one!

Comedian Nick Kroll, who is part of Don't Worry Darling, says Harry (er sorry I mean “ethereal demigod of love Harry Styles,” as per Vuture) was the first to know about his engagement, beating out even family by texting for up to the minute updates (“have you done it yet? What's going on?”). “He doesn’t know it yet,” Kroll says, “but he’s gonna be the guardian of all of our children.” Uh huh like that wasn't his play all along, he's even got this guy convinced it was his own idea! I assume Harry's plotting the tattoo space for their names even now, but hopefully he won't also be texting for constant updates on the babymaking process...

Who woke up with Liam today?? Well, if you missed that pleasure, he greeted us to say good morning and that it was “strange being the voice waking you up” but he hoped it wasn't too annoying and that we had a blessed day while Naughty List (#1 tik tok song third week in a row) played gently in the background. Thanks Liam! (Then Roman Kemp does what is I guess a Harry impression? Not his best tbh. Also no bananas or dicks, not convincing at all.) Liam also tells Roman that no, he's never done positive affirmations, what are those-- I was already looking forward to the advent for ME but now I'm excited for it for Liam too! No Liam, may YOU have a blessed day and learn all about saying nice things to yourself. The sleep story content isn't available yet, but lots of people went to sleep last night with Liam on their mind already even so; CelebTM, desperate to cling to their moment of notoriety and retain their directioner readers, published a ziam primer, and apparently their ploy is working cause suddenly everyone was talking about ziam. I mean okay but my dudes are you really letting CELEBTM guide your fandom? That just won't end well. But however suspect the source, ziam trended on twitter throughout the day yesterday, and then Gigi posted a pic of Zayn resting his face on her preggers belly from back in the summer, and then the fandom sort of split into the people trending Ziam harder and the people cooing at the pic for being cute so I guess if Gigi was trying to shush people as was the widespread theory, maybe it half worked? Or maybe it just made people about it talk more, hard to say. But! Either way it gave us an unseen of Zayn, so thats a win.

BBC1 will play Louis' christmas special from last year again this christmas day-- a whole hour of Louis playing great songs and chatting! (Remember how he played the same christmas song that Harry had called a family favorite when he covered it at Jingle Ball a couple weeks before? good times!) I guess you could be sad that it's a rerun, and yes who wouldn't want a new one, but also you could be happy cause it was super good and it's on again! Anyway judging by the influence celebtm is wielding, half of the fandom is new people right now anyway so I'm sure it will be new to many, so enjoy it friends. A registered but unreleased Louis song, One Track Mind, showed minor changes to a listing. Movement behind the scenes? Always, but if it moving closer to us, happy days!

Meanwhile on instagram Harris Reed said "I think the thing that's so beautiful about Harry is the fact that he does what he wants to do because he believes in it,” and “he immediately kind of understood I didn’t want to just make pretty clothes, I had a strong message for providing fluidity,” Louis liked posts from Liam Gallagher (about supporting crew) and Helene, Liam did what the grammys failed to- congratulated The Weeknd on his success (a whole year in the top 100), and Harry and Louis are up against each other-- no not like that, in a fan voted competition for 'Best Male'. A pretty big hat to fill but better one of them than most anyone else! If you have a strong preference (and boy do some of you) go cast your vote! Let the infighting begin, uh, continue.

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bbhyeoliskooks · 4 years ago

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Can you write a Boemgyu fluff where you're dating him in secret but Yeonjun knows and he keeps subtly teasing you guys about it.

ຶཽଓ✧ 𝐒𝐡𝐮𝐭 𝐮𝐩, 𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧! ✧ଓ ຶཽ

Yeonjun should learn how to shut his mouth... :)

* Ŏ･;ﾞ.:’;* Ŏ･;ﾞ.:’;* Ŏ･;ﾞ.:’;

Pairing: Beomgyu x Reader (gender-neutral)

Genre: 4 cups of fluff !!

Warnings: None

(The title- idk what to call it, and then the description... yea im so sorry my jjuniebug, i didn’t know how to say it :D Also, unedited since I have school tomorrow!)

* Ŏ･;ﾞ.:’;* Ŏ･;ﾞ.:’;* Ŏ･;ﾞ.:’;

It was extremely... risky to be inside of Beomgyu’s room without any of the other boys knowing. In the dark room were only you, Beomgyu, and Yeonjun, however it was late and he was probably asleep.

Luckily you were hidden, away from sight but that still didn’t take away any of the dangers that his group members would find out. If they did, that would certainly take away the thrill of a new blossomed relationship. It had only been a month, but your love was as strong as ever, and you couldn’t complain.

To be honest, you never imagined you would be at the dorms at almost 1am in the morning, yet here we are!

He had begged you on the phone to come and cuddle with him until the early morning because he missed you a lot! It had only been a week since he saw you, but he swore he missed you more than anyone he had ever pined for. Saying that he needed to kiss you and wanted your hugs was enough to get you going there, but then he pulled out the puppy dog eyes which you had a love/hate relationship with. Let’s just say that you could only say yes to those puppy dog eyes on the facetime call just fifteen minutes before.

Instantly, you walked over to the dorms since it was a short walk. Your boyfriend said he was going to pick you up, but you knew that it would be even worse because the boys would know once the door slammed open. Although they had already been asleep a long time ago, Yeonjun being the last one to close his eyes.

Of course he didn’t care about the repercussions which would in worse case scenario be, everyone finding out and the managers forcing the two of you to break up, but you had to look at the bright side! At least you were safe in Beomgyu’s tender arms, giggling about the things that happened this week.

“So... did you miss me as much as I did?” He peppered soft kisses against your cheeks while you held him even closer to you, scared that his comforting touch would disappear into thin air if you made the wrong mov

“You think I didn’t? I would’ve declined your request since it’s too late know, but I guess that I needed you as much as you needed me.”

A sudden voice came out from the other side of the room and you gasped, pulling the blankets over you in fear that you were caught by someone who didn’t know.

“Guys, will you be quiet with your lovey dovey stuff? I’m tired, and I don’t need to hear all of that.”

Beomgyu and you just stared at each other before you both simultaneously got up from the bed.

“Don’t look at me as if you’ve just seen a ghost!”

Yeonjun shook off the pillow on his chest, looking proud that he had scared the two of you. It was that cocky grin that you wanted to wipe off since forever, perhaps even the day you met him. Only thing that was holding you back was that he was your best friend, and you owed him a lot for some favors that couldn’t be named.

“I know about your relationship, we established that fact already. You haven’t let any of the other ones know, right?” The two of you nodded your head, looking at each other with hearts in your eyes. You didn’t want anybody to know until later, maybe when everything cools down for a while.

Yeonjun chuckled, pulling his blanket over his head. “Alright, then. Just be quie-”

The sound of the door creaked open, and you darted under Beomgyu’s back. Who could be up at this hour? You hoped that it wasn’t an emergency or else you would be found out for sure.

“Hey Beomgyu hyung? Could you open this for me? I don’t think Soobin is awake, and I don’t want to bother him.” You hoped that he was feeling sleepy enough to not realize that you were right beside (under) he was sitting.

From the corner of your eyes, you could see that Kai was holding those jars of flintstone gummies that you usually eat when you’re younger. You held back the laughter rumbling from your chest at how adorable he was before bunching your body into the covers. It was getting really warm though and a few seconds later, you took a deep breath of fresh air- looking out into the other wall where his roommate lay.

It was dark but you could see that Yeonjun kept sending you weird glances from across the bed which you knew meant that he was teasing you about your secret relationship. You rolled your eyes, peeking out to see him from the sweaty blanket. When Beomgyu turned on the other side to help him open the jar, you gave Yeonjun the dirtiest glare you could muster as a sign to leave the two of you alone.

He just shrugged, and you felt the urge to let out a scream if not for Beomgyu’s gentle hand searching to find yours. Good thing that he figured out that you were fuming under those damn covers because wow, you would’ve made known your presence. Still, that didn’t stop you from getting mad at yourself.

And you really thought that telling your best friend was the best idea?! You wanted to hit the past you in that moment.

You thought he wouldn’t do anything else until he started to make kissing noises in front of the younger ones. He was being obnoxious, and you wanted to hit him for being annoying when you were trying not to get caught.

Making a punch sign, you saw him fall back dramatically and sighed softly. The bed made a creaking noise, causing Kai to turn over to the loud noise while Beomgyu struggled with the jar. That made it even worse!

Kai glanced over at Yeonjun, the shift in the bed let you know.

“Oh, hyung? Are you okay?”

He laughed in response, the darkness of the room making it hard to see that he was swatting his hand in amusement.

“Yeah! I-I’m totally good!” It was getting harder for him to speak since the little fits of laughter came out. Beomgyu squeezed on your hand tighter, trying his best to calm you down.

“Look! I got it! I opened it for you, pipsqueak.”

You watched Kai’s eyes turned into one of amazement, and he thanked Beomgyu before hopping from his spot on the bed.

“Thank you so much! I better head to sleep now.”

Just like that, the footsteps got dimmer and you sat up a little, hoping that he would be gone for good. Yeonjun decided to have a bit more fun teasing the two of you, so he shouted at Kai. “Beomgyu and Y/N-” “Shut up, Yeonjun!”

Finally the door shut close, and you couldn’t hold it back anymore, the frustration in your body knowing no bounds as you yelled at him.

Crap! You winced at your loud voice. That definitely woke all three of them up now...

* Ŏ･;ﾞ.:’;* Ŏ･;ﾞ.:’;* Ŏ･;ﾞ.:’;

Posted: 9/21/20- 10:55pm

Tags:

#txt fluff #txt angst #txt scenarios #txt imagines #txt reactions #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu angst #beomgyu x reader #txt fic #txt ff #*｡『 keah’s requests !』｡*

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aracaeli · 4 years ago

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The Sign of Three

NOTE: Merry Christmas @elfchensdcartblog from your DCMK secret santa!! I’m sorry for posting it at the last minute possible, I should probably have said Happy New Year instead. Here is my humble gift to you. Also, I’m sorry for not writing it with the accent. Regular english still gives me trouble and I’m not sure I’m capable of writing it right. Big thanks to @dcmksecretsanta for hosting he event.

I’m really rusty, but actually making this gift is more fun than I imagined. I forgot how soothing writing can be. Please forgive any mistake I made, happy reading! ^^

----The Sign of Three----

“You know, this is a very bad idea.” Heiji said to Kazuha for the sixth time that day. He’s practically sulking by now. On default, Heiji is not a big fan of malls. Much less going to a mall two days before Christmas. Suffice to say, the place was packed. People are everywhere. There’s people who are getting their christmas shopping late, young couples celebrating christmas together, or just some rando who had the bright idea to come to the mall near christmas. The mall even blasted out “We Wish You a Merry Christmas'' in every speaker on loop. Heiji swears if he finds the person responsible for that song that guy will have to answer to him.

Kazuha however is chipper as ever. She ignored his comment and instead was busy looking at toy displays in front of her while whistling along on the christmas song. Heiji wouldn’t even be here if Kazuha had not dragged him out. Heck, he wouldn’t even leave the house if it weren’t for her. His plan is to stay at home and do some reading, maybe go out for a bit to get food, but that’s it.

Kazuha apparently had other plans for him. She insisted on making him come with her to her class christmas event today and accompany her to do last minute shopping for the kids. Apparently the school wanted the students to celebrate Christmas by making a christmas event where the kids can play and exchange gifts. Only, the actual event is two days early from christmas because the kids will be celebrating with their own family on the actual christmas.

The idea is stupid. Heiji said as much.

He gets smacked in the head for that. Heiji had tried to lie his way out, but Kazuha immediately saw through him.

And that’s another weird thing about Kazuha lately. They had been married a while, but Heiji was sure that her changes only occurred recently.

Lately, she seems to become more observant. She often notices small things that she didn't notice before. Normally if someone moved her pen when she was away, she wouldn’t notice, but now she was able to tell the exact distance of the pen’s displacement.

Another weirdness is, she woke up by the slightest noise. Before when Heiji had to stay late because of work, he was able to get to their bed without waking her. Now Kazuha is awake when he cracks the door open. If Heiji made a noise, she was able to tell exactly what was causing the noise, even if she was two rooms away. Heiji didn’t know what was the cause, it’s not like it’s the first time he saw that kind of ability. He had good ears, so does his father. What’s weird is that Kazuha suddenly developed one, too.

Maybe it was contagious?

Heiji shakes his head, chasing the ridiculous thoughts away. Despite Kazuha being weirdly observant, Heiji managed to secure an awesome gift for her, in his humble opinion. The subject of his musings is still shopping happily, uncharacteristically unaware of his thoughts.

Kazuha is still looking at the display. But now she has already moved to the far end of the store. She picks up the toys one by one and assesses them carefully, as if it was important evidence on a crime scene. After a while, she held up a toy truck in front of him.

“Do you think Mikoto-kun would like this one?” Kazuha asked, holding a red toy car that resembles a fire truck.

Mikoto is one of Kazuha's students in elementary school, who Heiji really doesn’t like. Mikoto, like most the boys in her class, had a crush on Kazuha-sensei and wanted to marry her when they grow up. Nevermind that Heiji visited the class and told them that Kazuha was already married to him.

In response to that information, Mikoto--who had the smuggest face for someone barely older than a toddler-- just looked at him from top to bottom, face clearly displaying unimpressed. “Oh well, we’ll see about that.”

The audacity.

Not caring what the brat would get for Christmas, Heiji answered shortly, “He’s a kid, that’s a toy. The math suggests that he would be thrilled.”

He thought she would get annoyed with him, but his wife just shrugged and went back to shopping. In the end, she made a decision and took the toy to the counter to pay for it and told him to wait for her. Heiji watched her with a suspicious gaze, wondering if what meets the eye is really the truth.

Heiji thinks it’s weird that Kazuha invited him to the event. While it’s not the first time he has come to her class and participated, it was always such a disaster. Considering what happened when he was present, he should be banned.

In his defense, it was the brat’s fault. Everytime Heiji comes to pick Kazuha up, he will ‘accidentally’ step on his foot. Kazuha makes Mikoto apologize to him of course, but the boy apologizes with a sleazy grin not fit for a child. One time, when he visited Kazuha during class, the brat ‘accidentally’ poured paint all over his shirt. Heiji tried to get back at the kid, but as if sensing his petty intention, Mikoto immediately cried.

Worse, Kazuha never sided with him. She came and comforted the kid while Heiji had to watch the kid buried his face in Kazuha’s chest while giving him the smuggest smile known to humankind. He had to bite back a curse.

Another incident that popped in his mind is when Heiji cursed in her class, in front of the children. It was actually quite comical, the children had simultaneously stopped what they were doing and looked at him in shellshock, Heiji stood awkwardly for a minute. He was about to make a run for it. When one of the kids decided that what he had done was unacceptable on so many levels and tattled on him to Kazuha.

Kazuha had put him on time-out as if he was five despite his protest to her.

“I can’t play favour, Heiji. It’s not a good example for the kids” Kazuha said sternly while putting her hands at her hips. Long story short, he lost the debate.

He had to sit in the hallway to think about what he did while the other children peeked at him curiously from the window.

One kid even booed at him.

Yeah, it was not his proudest moment.

While he was reminiscing, Kazuha came back from the cashier, carrying one more bag in her hand. She didn’t have any trouble carrying it, but he decided to perform his duty as a good husband and took the bag from her hand. Beside, this way her hand would be free for him to hold.

Chiding himself for being sappy, Heiji linked their fingers together in a loose grip, suppressing the blush that always comes despite already being married to her. But Kazuha was having none of it today as she tightened her hand.

Kazuha leaned closer on him. Their arms linked together and her nose almost brushed his shoulder.

“Let’s go upstairs.” Kazuha said, leading the way. As they walked side by side, she broke the silence.

“Did you finish your christmas shopping?” Kazuha asked. The mall was crowded and loud, so Heiji really had to pay attention to hear her.

“I did. Finished it weeks ago.”

“Including my gift?”

“Yes.”

“Is it a living thing?”

“No.”

“Is it a nonliving thing?”

“We’re not playing 20 questions!”

Kazuha pouted. She bit the inside of her cheeks and turned her face away from him. Giving Heiji her side-view. And suddenly he finds himself resisting the irrational urge to kiss that protruding lips in public. Fortunately, unlike with the case of Fairy’s lips, he still had common sense left.

“I think I know what you get me.” Kazuha said suddenly.

Heiji gave his wife a skeptical stare, surely she was just bluffing, afterall he went through a painstaking measure to make it a surprise. He even draws a murderboard, which he hides in Kudo’s house, much to the latter dismay.

“No you don’t.” Heiji sneered.

“Hmm let’s see now,” Kazuha put her hand to her chin, mimicking his favorite pose when solving a case, complete with a smile, which may appear innocent at first but completely devious.

“I know that you suck at handcraft. And I don’t see you working at anything, so it can’t be handmade. You said it was a non-living thing, so it can’t be a pet. Judging by how quick you are in answering my question earlier and the fact we have a joint account, it’s unlikely to be a trip or a dinner.”

Heiji started to sweat. Is this what the suspect always felt whenever he made a show of his deductions? Still, Kazuha is not done yet.

“The fact that you finished weeks ago means you had planned it for awhile. You’ve gone to Tokyo for a suspicious amount of time, it can be unrelated to gift-buying, but my instinct said it was very related. But it’s weird that you go so far just to shop, there’s plenty of places here where you can hide your gift. That suggests the involvement of an outside party. Probably a delivery. Which means…”

Kazuha added a dramatic pause.

“....it was custom-made.”

Damn. What’s gotten into her?

Still, Kazuha went for the kill, “The fact that you’re giving it to me, big chance it was a jewelry. Probably a necklace. Since you had no sense when it comes to women’s fashion, the one you custom it’s not probably the design. If my deduction is correct, that necklace would have my initial.”

Heiji completely avoided looking at her. Somehow his pride is trampled over her deductions. He had plans after all. The only solace he had was Kazuha doing all of that is kinda hot. So he let it pass.

“Am I right?”

Heiji shrugged. “I don’t know, you had to wait.”

Kazuha gives a little happy jump, almost knocking a lady that was passing by them.

“I can’t wait for a necklace with a ‘K’ pendant to come.”

Heiji nodded along with her statement. The pendant that he ordered is actually spelled ‘K.H’, since Kazuha had officially become a Hattori now. He decided to let her little mistake in detail be left uncorrected and changed the subject.

“Can we go now? I think this place is getting more packed.” Heiji said, and true to his word, someone bumped into him. Said person didn’t even apologize and just walked.

“Hold on, I still need to buy one more for Chika-chan.”

“Huh? I thought it was a secret santa.”

“It is, but I’m buying a present for all of my students in the class.”

Heiji frowned. “Why? Isn’t that a bit much even for you? You’ll see them again next year.”

He felt her getting tense. She was looking straight ahead but he can tell that she was carefully masking her face as casual indifference.

Shrugging her shoulder, Kazuha answered, “I just want to make this year memorable.”

Heiji observed her face carefully for any clue, but sensing his curiosity, Kazuha looked back at him and feigned a smile. Deciding to not pursue it further, he noted this exchange and kept it in Kazuha’s folder, a place in his mind palace where he keeps anything related to Kazuha that he finds odd or weird. That folder had recently become thicker and thicker.

“Let’s go up one more floor, I think I see a store selling hair accessories.” Kazuha said quickly as she pulled him along by his hand to the elevator direction. Heiji followed along.

She accidentally stumbled on her steps. Delaying them for a few seconds. In consequence of that, they missed the elevator. As the door closed with a resounding ding sound. It was like a butterfly effect, the world just decide what he needs today is a murder.

If only they got on that elevator, they would have missed the shrill scream of a person discovering a dead body.

But unfortunately they did.

Knowing that scream everywhere, Heiji felt his detective sense alert in an instant. But before running off to the source of the commotion, he looked at Kazuha first, wordlessly asking for her permission.

Kazuha sighed, smiling softly, “Go”.

Heiji gave her a cheeky grin. He handed her the shopping bags to her. Since both his hands are free, he had the chance to strike a cool pose before running off by gripping the edge of his hat and pulling the cap to the front.

“I’ll be back.”

------------------------------------------------------------

In the span of time for one call to the police, five interrogations, and one person broke down crying later, Heiji managed to gather the suspects in the back of the store. The body is found in a clothing changing room. A man in his late thirties, wearing casual jeans and polo shirt. The corpse had been found laying on his back, half his body leaned on the mirror. Eyes wide and mouth wide open. Although there is no blood.

The store owner had been very helpful in aiding his investigations. She closed the crime perimeter and helped gather witnesses. Even though she initially insisted that the man just had a heart attack, until Heiji pointed out the signs that he clearly is poisoned.

Heiji was busy doing his usual detective work that he didn’t really notice that Kazuha hadn't shown up even after thirty minutes had passed since they heard the scream.

Heiji was about to search for her, already worried that something happened to his wife. But as he was about to walk away from the crime scene, Kazuha catches up with him, completely unaware of his worry. She even brought a drink in hand and casually sip the cold liquid from the straw while looking around the crime scene curiously.

“Solved it yet?” She asked. Slurping the boba tea.

Heiji was momentarily distracted by the movement of her lips. Shaking the unwanted thoughts away, he looked back at the corpse.

“Not yet. So far, here’s the situation. Someone is found dead in the changing room of this store.” Heiji gestured towards the corpse.

“No blood.” Kazuha remarked.

Heiji nodded. He feels weirdly proud that she participated in the case. He resisted the urge to pat her head, “Exactly. Death by poison.”

“Cyanide?”

“No, arsenic.”

“Who do you think did it?”

“Well, I figured out the trick, But I’m still not sure who did it.”

Kazuha nodded solemnly. Still slurping her drink. Her gaze turned towards the three people standing behind the store owner who were looking at them the whole time. The three men are the main suspects for the case. Heiji told them to stand far enough so they can’t overhear his conversation. Heiji was sure the culprit was between the man with glasses and the tall one. Although he had no evidence or any defining clue.

“The guy with the glasses seems suspicious.” Kazuha said. Leaning close to whisper in his ears. He instinctively take a step back. Typical of Kazuha to annoy him with her stupid breath and her slurping when he was in the middle of a case.

Heiji snatched the drink from her hand.

“How is he suspicious?” He asked, only half-interested in her answer.

“Look at the inside of his wrist.” Kazuha said confidently at first, but she suddenly turned hesitant and quickly shrugged “But, I don’t know though, you’re the Detective.”

Reluctantly, Heiji followed Kazuha's advice and focused on the man in glasses hands.

Wait….that mark…

“I know who the killer is.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour and half later, they finally manage to get out of the mall. Heiji was sure that they were already late to the event. Thankfully, there was no traffic on the way, so they made it to the school ground less than ten minute later. The event hasn't started yet. Most of the kids were still playing around, although Kazuha’s coworkers had pulled out various games and an assortment of christmas themed sweets out.

When Heiji and Kazuha enter the classroom. The children cheered. Immediately, she was surrounded by her students. They formed a circle around her and tried to get her attention. Looking at the spectacle before him, Heiji can’t help but note that Kazuha is really good with kids.

Heiji put their bag on the gifts table. He searched for an empty chair to sit on. Heiji found one in the back of the room. He sits down on one of the chairs beside the low round table. Heiji was so focused that he didn’t notice someone approaching him.

“So you came.”

Heiji turned to the source of the voice. But he didn’t see anyone.

“Down here”

He looked down and his stare met with Mikoto’s gaze.

“Hey”

Mikoto only grunted. The kid pulled the chair across him and sat down. He slouched on the chair while looking around the room with bored eyes. Heiji noticed that his eyes landed on a little girl with a pigtail who was excitedly chatting with Kazuha. He looked back at the kid and the girl.

Heiji was a very observant Detective. The best in Japan. Despite what neechan said. That’s why the blush on Mikoto’s face didn’t go unnoticed by Heiji. He gave a small sigh. Kids these days, so easy to move on from one crush to another.

“Do you like that girl?” Heiji asked. One eyebrow raised suggestively. He deliberately didn’t gesture on the little girl across the room.

Mikoto looked scandalized, suddenly sitting straight with face flushed red. “What! No! Who likes Chika!?”

Heiji grinned. “I didn’t say anything about Chika-chan.”

Mikoto was about to defend himself. But no words come out. All of his face was flaming red to the tip of his ear. The blush even went up to his ears. In the end, he settled to look away instead. Sulking.

“So…” Heiji began, finding the opportunity to tease the kid highly amusing. “Do you think Chika-chan cute? What’s her deal?’

Mikoto crossed his hand in front of his chest, “She’s not cute! She’s stupid!” he stated, too loud and too defensive to be true. Some of the kids and one teacher had looked their way due to commotion.

“Hey, stupid is a bad word.” Heiji chided.

Mikoto was about to protest. But somehow decided against it and mumbled a low “Sorry.”

Seeing the kid actually reminded him a lot of someone. Although Heiji can’t quite recall who. “Here’s an advice, if you like her, don’t pull her pigtails.”

Mikoto, once again, flushed red. As if he was just caugh red-handed. “I don’t need your advice, I bet you also pulled Kazuha-sensei’s ponytail.”

Heiji laughed. It’s actually happened. The scene of their younger years flashed before his eyes. Kazuha used to have pigtails too when she was young and the sight of her hair swinging around as she walked always seems cute and endearing to him. Although back then he had no idea what the feeling blossomed in his chest was.

Young Heiji never made the connection between the flutter of his heart and Kazuha’s presence. Once Heiji even thought he had heart problems. His mother laughed when he brought his concerns to her. Shizuka had said that he was healthy as a clamp and had nothing to worry about. To his embarrassment, it took him ten more years to finally understand he was in love with Kazuha.

“What are you boys talking about?”

Both of them turned around simultaneously, only to find Kazuha standing behind.

“Nothing,” Mikoto said. Kazuha looked at the two of them suspiciously. “Mikoto-kun, you should join the others. The game is about to start.”

Mikoto sends Heiji a distress signal to help him get away. But Heiji feels no remorse as he shrugged his shoulders in total betrayal.

“Mikoto-kun.” Kazuha said again, voice more stern. In the end, Mikoto sighed and walked away from the couple. Joining the merry and fun of his friends in the center of the room.

Kazuha sat on the empty chair that Mikoto left, staring at the crowd in a somewhat somber gaze, “He reminds me a lot of you.”

Heiji immediately defended himself, “What! I am nothing like that brat.”

“You two seemed to get along, though” Kazuha said.

“No, we’re not. He hates my gut. Apparently he used to have a crush on you.” Heiji added, “And just so you know, those little accidents that he did, are not an ‘accident’.”

Kazuha laughed. “I know. I just wanna show how ridiculous you are, getting jealous of kids.” Heiji opened his mouth, but she cut him off, “Don’t even try to deny it.”

Heiji blew a harsh breath. Looking around at the happy kids around him, the christmas decoration is exquisite, and the cookies smelled delicious, even from when he was sitting.

“Why do you insist I come anyway?” Heiji asked. Although he probably knows the answer. With how observant Kazuha is lately, maybe she noticed that he’s not having such a great time at work.

But his wife is always able to surprise him. “I’m pregnant.”

Heiji gaped at her as the world turned into a standstill. Voices become mute and he swears the earth stop spinning.

Kazuha...is pregnant…

Kazuha is pregnant.

He heard the words clearly. But the meaning didn’t actually register in his head. Kazuha is pregnant? With his child….

There’s another human being that he will be responsible to. Someone who looks like him. Or maybe Kazuha. Maybe a well-behaved kid like Chika-chan or a brat like Mikoto.

What would he do if his kid makes bad choices? Or become too reckless like him?

He could feel his panic rapidly growing by the second. The thought of bringing a human life in this world is downright overwhelming. Kazuha might be good with kids, but he is not. What would he do with one? That’s easy, he should feed it. Oh God, what did you feed a kid? What does a kid even eat??

As if sensing his rapidly growing panic, Kazuha called his name. “Heiji,”

When there was no response, Kazuha grabbed his hand that was laying on the table. The contact startled him. His eyes turned to her.

“We’re gonna be fine, Heiji.” Kazuha added, “Beside, I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I want to focus on raising our family.”

Suddenly, it made sense. Why she wants to make this year christmas with her class so memorable. The way she is acting so weird recently. There’s only one thing he can’t figure out, thought….

“I don’t get why you suddenly become so observant, is that another side effect of pregnancy?”

Kazuha stared at him in bewilderment, “What are you talking about?”

“You! You were suddenly very observant. Like a detect--” Heiji stopped mid-sentence, he abruptly stood up from the chair, knocking it backwards. As if he just received the meaning of the universe, he exclaimed:

“Oh God, our child is gonna be a detective!!”

A/N: And thus, Heisuke is doomed since he was a literal fetus to be a detective by his father.

There’s a local belief in my area that when a mother is pregnant, how she behaves is influenced by the child’s personality. So if a woman often gets angry during pregnancy, that means the child is temperamental, so on. Halfway writing this, I realized that it might be too weird and specific, so I ended up rewriting it into a more general trope. Although dumbass me misread the fact that Kazuha is elementary teacher-to-be, not elementary teacher. Still, I hope you accept this as a humble sort-of-headcanon to your Heisuke AU.

I actually really like the concept of the AU, I had to refrain myself from liking and reblogging all the posts because then you would have easily figured out that I’m your Secret Santa (lol). Can’t wait to see your next works. Good luck and Merry Christmas! ^^

#dcmksecretsanta #my fic #I think the last time I write anything is BNHA secret santa three years ago #this is surprisingly fun #imagining Heiji in ridiculuous situation is my jam #I will never live down the fairy's lips case #that was exhausting

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janeyseymour · 4 years ago

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Quaran-queens

someone prompted this a while ago, but i just got around to it now... so sorry for the late post but.... it’s here? enjoy?

Anne is not handling quarantine well and Lulu isn't handling not being able to see her girls.

13 days. It had been 13 days since the world shutdown, and the third queen was losing it. In desperation for some sanity, she called her baker friend.

“Hey girl!” Jenna’s chipper voice rang through.

“Hey there,” Jane sighed as she plopped down on her bed.

“Oh you don’t sound too excited. What’s goin on?”

“It’s been 13 days since I’ve been out of this house, and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to survive anymore.”

“I told you you’re always more than welcome to come quarantine with us.”

“And leave my house for Hurricane Anne to destroy?”

Jenna bit back a chuckle. “I suppose you’re right. What’s hurricane Anne done today?”

“Oh boy, are you in for a story...” Jane recounted the story with a heavy groan.

“Anne Boleyn! How many times have I told you to stop heelying around the house? You’re going to break something, and that something could be yourself!” Jane’s shrill voice could be heard throughout the house from her spot in the living room.

“Janey, lighten up a little. I haven’t broken anything yet, and I’ve been super caref-” the sound of a vase shattering could be heard followed by a very quiet, “shit.”

“That better not be my vase shattered on the ground!” Jane stood from her place on the couch and marched herself in the direction of the crash.

“I’ll clean it up! I’ll buy you a new one!” the green queen promised before the blonde could even round the corner.

When her eyes set upon her favorite vase in shards on the ground, she yelled, “Catherine! Come deal with Anne. I can’t right now.” The third queen walked down the hallway to her room, eyes glued to the ground. Had she looked at the woman with space buns, she might have lost her temper on the shorter woman.

“Jesus Christ Anne,” the gold queen could be heard sighing as Jane closed her door. Sighing, she sat on her bed and pulled out her phone.

About an hour had passed when a notification had come up on her phone.

AnnieBoleyn started a live video

Perhaps against her better judgement, she clicked on the live. She still wasn’t quite happy with her predecessor after the incident earlier in the day.

“Hey queens! It’s Annie again. I’m bored out of my goddamn mind, so I thought I would just tell you all about my day!” The green queen giggled a little bit. “I woke up this morning thinking ‘ oh my god I’m stuck in this house again with Lina, Janey, Cleves, Kat, and Cath again. What can I do to piss any of them off today?’ I hadn’t even really done anything yet, but turns out, just by being me, that happens. I was bored and heelying around the house when I accidentally broke one of Janey’s vases. I cleaned it up, but she still got pissed.”

That comment pissed Jane off.

JaneySeymour: Anne, I’ve told you a thousand times not to heely in the house. I don’t know why you can’t just listen.

“But I cleaned it up!” the woman on screen remarked. “And, I already ordered you another one!” Anne adjusted the camera a bit to show off the kitchen. “Now, I’m trying to make some cookies as an-” a door could be heard slamming shut in the background followed by a frustrated-

“Anne Boleyn! Get out of my kitchen! You are not making cookies!”

“But I’m making them for you as an apology! Some are already in the-” the smoke alarm went off.

Jane could be seen in the background opening the oven door, a cloud of grey smoke infiltrating itself into the kitchen. The look she shot Anne was no look that anyone wanted to be at the other end of.

“I’ll fix this!” Anne said hurriedly.

“I’ll fix this!” Jane roared back. “You’ve done enough for the day. Please, just... I don’t know. Go find Cathy to annoy or something. Just get out of my kitchen.”

“I heard that!” Cathy yelled from her room. “Do not come in Anne! I’m working!”

“Jane, honest, I can help clean this up.”

The green queen turned to her phone that was still recording them. “Queendom, I have to go. Janey is about to lose it.”

“‘Lose it’ is putting it lightly,” The blonde huffed as she opened various windows and the smoke wafted out of the room. “Alrighty then, get to scrubbing.” She situated herself at the island counter and gestured towards the mess.

RoseAmongstTheThorns: wait... can you keep the video on? We wanna watch anne clean lol

Jane laughed lightly at that request, her voice immediately going soft as she addressed the audience. “It's pretty boring really. Anne’s just going to be scrubbing things until they’re sparkling again.”

“It’ll just be Janey telling me ‘keep scrubbing! It’s not clean yet!’ and ‘I still see some cookie dough!’ No one needs to hear that but me.”

“Alright now queendom. We’re going to sign off and clean the kitchen. Maybe, just maybe, one of us will go live later tonight to show you Anne’s cleaning skills. Have a good day now. Love you!” Jane ended the live.

“And then, 20 minutes later, Annie told me that the kitchen was clean. So I went live to show the queendom her version of clean,” Jane shook her head the image.

“Hey Queendom! It’s Jane here and-”

“Janey, they know it’s you! It’s on your account!” The green queen playfully rolled her eyes.

“Anyway,” Jane drug out. “Annie over here thinks that the kitchen is clean. Can the queendom help me out and decide if it’s clean or not?”

Immediately, comments came pouring in.

Theroseamongstthethorns: uhhh sorry anne, jane’s gonna have u cleanin for a while

Sixqueenswalkintoabar: ...it’s cleaner than it was before?

Hausofholbein: jane’s standards have to be higher than that.

“Hausofholbein would be correct,” Jane muttered as she glanced over the comments. “This is not up to my standards.”

“Oh come on guys! It’s pretty okay, right?” Anne tried to worm her way out of tidying up.

“Do you think we should let the queendom see more in depth?” The third queen raised an eyebrow and folded her arms over her chest.

“No, no,” Boleyn rushed out, knowing her work wasn’t done. It didn’t hurt to try to get out of it though. “I’ll just clean it up.” The second queen got back to scrubbing the pans in the sink.

“Alright guys, I better help her out some. Thanks for your help queendom!” Jane smiled into the camera and waved.

Right before she ended the livestream, Anne could be heard mumbling, “Yeah. Thanks a lot queendom.”

“You know I love the girl, but she’s a lot sometimes. Thankfully, she’s off and annoying Lina. Anyway, enough about my own personal hell; how is Lu handling all of this?” The blonde turned the attention away from herself.

“I’m sure if you decided to quarantine with us, it would make my daughter’s year,” Jenna laughed. “She had a full on tantrum today because she couldn’t have some ‘Janey and Lulu’ time. Kicking, screaming, crying- the whole nine yards.”

“Oh jeez. I’m sure she’s happy to be able to spend time with you and Jim though?”

“Oh, she is. But uh, she wants Janey and ‘her girls’. She wants all of us together. So...” the brunette dove into her story.

“Lu honey, come on,” Jenna pleaded with her daughter.

“No! I’m going to see my Janey!” the little one protested, halfway through putting her shoes and socks on. “I don’t care if I have to walk there myself, but I am-”

“Little miss, you know you aren't to leave this house unless there’s an adult with you.” The baker’s husband came walking into the room with a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Daddy, not you too!” Lulu whined.

“Sweetpea, it’s not mine or Daddy’s fault we’re stuck in the house. Janey’s got to stay at her house too. She wants to see you too baby,” Jenna tried to reason.

“Then, let’s go see her! I want to see my girls!” the young one continued as she put on her second shoe.

“I want to see the girls too, but we just can’t,” the baker paused. “Ignore the law.”

“A little white lie,” Jenna sighed. “I don’t like doing it, but I had to think of something other than ‘we can’t.’ You know that doesn’t work on her.”

“Daddy says we break little laws all the time, like when we cross the street without being at a corner!” the girl pointed out. “Let’s just break this one too!”

“Hun, I said no.” Jenna’s voice lost a small bit of softness.

“Daddy? Please?” the girl with pigtails looked at the doctor with puppy dog eyes.

“Mama-” Jim caught a glance at the glare his wife was giving him. “Mama and I have talked about it. We just can’t go see them right now. It’s too dangerous. We all have to stay healthy.”

“And that sent Lulu into hysterics. She told us she didn’t want to live with us anymore and that you and the girls would take her in and-”

“Which we would,” Jane chuckled lightly.

“And she told Jim that he was a meanie and told me that she couldn’t believe I would keep her from seeing you.”

“Oh jeez. I’m over here struggling with Anne, but you have a small child. Can't even imagine what that’s like.”

“Anne is like a small child,” Aragon opened the door and let herself into the gray room Jane occupied. “Sorry for listening in. I just wanted to let you know that Anne and Kat are downstairs fighting over the last glass of chocolate milk. Anne screamed something about, ‘Viva la choccy milk’. Do you want to intervene, or should-”

“Please. I think if I go downstairs right now, I might lose my temper.”

“And Anne might lose her head,” Aragon chuckled. “I’ve got it. Sorry to bother. Tell Jenna we all said hi.” The first queen made her way out of the room and could clearly be heard yelling at the two cousins.

“The girls say hi,” Jane giggled a bit.

“Tell them we say hi back.”

“Anyway, where were we?”

“Lulu couldn’t believe I was keeping her from seeing you.”

“Ah yes.”

“I had to walk away from the situation because I knew if I stayed, I might’ve lost it on her or Jim. Jim also walked away after parking Lulu in her room for ten minutes. And then...” Jenna continued on with her story.

“Lulu, you can come out of your room now,” Jenna said gently as she knocked on her door. She heard shuffling in the little girl’s room and opened it.

“Louise, what on Earth are you doing?” the baker questioned as she watched her daughter stuff her backpack with a stuffed animal, clothing, and a pack of oreos. Her daughter looked at her briefly but stayed silent and only continued to pack her bag.

“Jim!” the brunette yelled. “Get up here!”

“Huh?” Jim poked his head into the hallway. At this point, the small girl had finished packing and marched her way over to her father.

“Daddy,” Lulu paused. “I mean, Jim?”

“No Lu. I’m Daddy.”

“Not anymore. I’m running away to go live with Janey and my girls. But uh, Ma- I mean, Jenna told me I’m not allowed to leave the house without an adult, so will you help me run away to Janey’s please?” The little girl stared up at her father with big blue eyes as she clutched onto her backpack.

“I’m afraid not Lu. Quarantine is affecting all of us,” Jim laughed lightly as he patted his daughter.

“At least she didn’t try to run away by herself,” Jane commented.

“Yeah,” Jenna sighed. “I’ll give her that.”

“So I’m stuck here?”

“‘Fraid so kiddo. Can we be your parents again?” Jim asked gently.

Lulu mulled over this for a few seconds. “I guess so,” she finally sighed. “But only until quarantine is over. Then, I’m going to run away to live with Janey. Maybe she’ll help me escape.”

“Whatever gets you through this quarantine,” Jim laughed quietly before leaving.

“You’re kidding,” Jane couldn’t even stifle the laughs that were bubbling up inside of her.

“Nope. So, I was thinking maybe we should do one of those video calls tonight. It’ll keep Anne from doing anything mischievous for a little, and Lulu will be happy because she’ll at least get to see all six of you for a little bit.”

“That sounds like a great idea.”

Quarantine turned out to be much longer than any of them hoped, but the video chats did keep “Hurricane Anne” from destroying the house (well, not completely, but it helped), and Lulu was happy to be able to see her girls, even if she wasn’t able to shower them in hugs and kisses.

And no, Lulu did not try to run away to the queens’ house again. Not after she saw the aftermath of Anne’s baking catastrophe that almost lost the six their house.

#six the musical #six musical #six fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fanfiction #six musical fanfic #six fanfic #waitress the musical #waitress musical #waitress musical fanfic #waitress the musical fanfiction #jane seymour #jenna hunterson

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cockbiteproductions · 4 years ago

Note

all prime numbers in the Misc section and all multiples of 10 in the other sections

we shall go backwards as the question list was posted backwards...... (and also why i rbed it.... why is it backwards? i dont know but i love it. edit: now that ive seen question 1 it looks to me like one of those forum profile copy pastes where you fill out the entire thing and put it in your profile.)

200: My crush’s name is: hmm...... well. i would rather not say!!!! they could see this post!!!!!!! and we do not want that happening.......

190: My 1st job was: lifeguard in the summer after 9th or 10th grade i think? it was decently fun. i grew up swimming competitively so the swimming part was a breeze. the remembering what to do if someone is drowning part? a bit harder. memory bad. what to do if someone has a potential broken spine/head injury when they’re in deep water? i don’t know bud. but it involves 3 whole people to get them out. 2 in the water, one person at all times holding their head in line with the rest of their body, the other one strapping them to the board (these two people in the water switch off, too) and then one person standing on the side of the pool looking very concerned. also don’t tell anyone but sometimes if i had like a 6 am shift i would get really groggy and almost fall asleep on the stand.

180: Marriage is: whatever people make of it but unfortunately bogged down with like a lot of societal expectations. to me it just sounds like hanging with your “best” friend until you die but a lot of other people interpret it differently.

170: What did you do yesterday? LOL wouldn’t it be nice if i remembered. wait no i do remember. i woke up “early” and watched a dnd livestream and struggled through buffering from my shit wifi. then i took a nap. then i had a chipotle burrito that was way too spicy. and i played a lot of minecraft. and i wrote a bit. and i also did like another 2-3 pages of the codecademy html intro course im working on.

160: Soul mates: nope. [taylor mason voice] i don’t believe in the concept of a soul. you are compatible with some people more than others and that’s based on your values and interests and personality. nothing Soul about it. it’s fun in fanfic and fiction though, but that’s because it’s fiction.

150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes..... i like brown hair! but blonde is nice too.

140: Mac or PC: clown face emoji. mac. It’s A Unix System. more convenient for me. my current mac is a giant piece of shit though. though i think that’s my own fault for keeping all my old files from my old mac. shoulda started over. i think i might try to get this one factory reset or something.

130: Wal-Mart or Target: idk walmart. i go there a lot during college. walmart just has a larger selection. i used to go to target a lot as a kid though because my mom liked it more. i think it’s like slightly more bougie?

120: Gay Marriage: fuckin go for it pals. sad that it took as long as it did to become legal.

110: My Neighbors: they are nice i think. the ones to the right are teachers or something. the ones to the left are.... idk. their kids were like maybe 5 years older than me and my brother when we were growing up though and sometimes they would indulge in us tiny annoying kids and hang with us

100: Cried in front of someone: when the finale of the clone wars came out a few months ago and i was sobbing and i ran into the living room to tell my roommate and friend that i was sobbing. i was sobbing. i also recorded myself watching the entire eps and i Sure Was Sobbing.

90: Texted: actual sms text, yesterday in response to a friend who texted me a tik tok. instant messaging like 20 minutes ago to milo. i havent responded yet because im answering this and i cant multitask for shit.

89: Who makes you laugh the most: me obviously. i think i’m fucking hilarious. me aside, @redvsblue is the funniest person on this planet. also my friend holly irl who shares my incredibly dumb sense of humor. also you!

83: The most difficult thing to do is: hmm........ in general or for me personally? idk..... a lot? i am not a very courageous person. so i guess being brave.

79: First time you had a crush: >:( not appreciating this line of questioning that lines up with the prime numbers/mult of 10. i will not be saying as they ALSO follow me on tumblr. though they don’t use it often. shout out to middle school.......

73: Tomorrow: hopefully wake up around 1 pm at the latest. make a plum smoothie. play some more minecraft and get more netherite (new update slaps). do more coding tutorials. get some writing done. the same ol same ol.

71: Next Summer: hopefully i will have a job lined up for the fall and the pandemic is Over. i would like to just [do nothing] for the last summer Ever before job starts. if i don’t have a job then it’s Job Hunting Time.

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: what the fuck...... like in a bad way? good way? cry of laughter? sadness? me, probably. my own damn brain be like “well it’s time to think about Yourself and be sad!” i know. very narcissistic of me. also dave filoni (director, producer, writer on clone wars).

61: My Car: not really mine. i just use it. beige 201? toyota camery. my brother tried to convince my dad he needed it more than i did last school year. my brother, who lived on campus in boston and flies to school from nc when he goes there, needs the car more than me, who lived off campus and drove to and from school to get back to nc, thinks he needed the car more than me. what a guy.

59: The movie I cried at was: last movie huh......... when was the last time i saw a movie? idk probably the rise of skywalker when leia died. i don’t know. i sure as hell didn’t cry at cats.

53: How do you like your steak cooked: i am vegetarian.

47: Who’s your best friend: @worthyghouls i guess. but also concept of “best friend” is so weird. No Best Friends. just lots of people i am good friends with. feels weird to all my other friends to pick One of them and be like “well i like you more than everyone else” :)

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: only in the vaguest vaguest vaguest sense. i would like to graduate with my bs degree. i would like to live in a city (doesn’t have to be a super big one. where im at rn is fine). i would like to have my first or second job i feel comfortable doing related to the degree i am getting. i would like to live in my own apartment (with roommates)/not with my parents. i would like to not be rent burdened. i would like my roommate to know how to take care of a cat or be okay with helping me learn how to take care of one. i would like to have a cat with said roommate. and that’s about it tbh. not very ambitious, i know. i just want a simple life......

41: Have you pre-named your children: bold of you to assume i will have children. no. if i ended up with child it would be like that tag on ao3 called “accidental baby acquisition” and i would name it on the spot.

30: Actress: hmm..... lauren marcus. lauren lopez. does fiona nova count if she’s going to be in rvb zero? also lindsay jones. aubrey plaza. idk. not many actresses i follow from project to project. it’s more i will see them in something and appreciate them in that role immensely.

20: Holiday: halloween is pretty chill. just getting candy from strangers? dope. scary aesthetic? amazing. i also like christmas just for the sole fact that i get time off from [life].

10: Restaurant: a favorite restaurant??? who has one of those???? i sure don’t. and i’m not gonna say something cringey like olive garden or mcdonalds. i simply do not have one.

#not rt #teresa answers stuff #tyty for sending in #soph with the primes as always...#nothingunrealistic1

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erinelezabeth920 · 5 years ago

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Love In The Time Of

What seems like ages ago I started this blog. I think I had just graduated college. I wrote a piece called, “Love in the Time Of,” in which I tried to encapsulate (I’m sure poorly), the feeling of being out of college, floating through life and anxieties untethered.

That seems small now, but the title still seems to fit. So when I decided I wanted to get back into writing (I’m sure I could say for noble purposes to give people uplifting words during this time of crisis etc etc., but really because I’m bored and other people are bored so the chances you’ll read my writing are just statistically higher), the title seemed to fit. In the time of... In the time of what? Pandemic? Disease? Quarantine? Being in small spaces with your loved ones? Being far away from your loved ones? Uncertaintly? Beauty? Eating a lot of popcorn? The list goes on. The truth is, there’s a lot happening and there’s also very little. So it seemed like a good time to excersie writing the details. The day in and day outs that always get left out because grand adventures are much easier to write about. But what makes me special, sets me apart from the rest? Answer: nothing. For example, it’s much harder to write that today my alarm went off at 7:30am (well really it went off at 6:45 but I snoozed it for 45 minutes.) I got up in a little bit of a panic and pulled on some leggings. The sun was out. I started the hot water heater upper thing, filled my water bottle I knew I wouldn’t drink, pet my cat who was up half the night, and woke up my boyfriend who didn’t want to wake up because the cat was up half the night. I pulled out my laptop and unrolled my yoga mat. I checked my watch- 7:40. Text from my mom- Not going to make yoga this morning. SUN (all caps) is out. Going on a walk. Power to you mom. Sent back sun emoji. Started Zoom meeting. Drank tea. A couple people trickled on. Led my meditation session followed by a 20 minute yoga session while my cat ran around and my boyfriend made coffee. The sun was in my face. I talked about Princess Dairies the movie, and how Jonathan Van Ness on the Queer Eye episode I watched the other day led similar yoga poses I did and said the same thing at the end of his session; “The light in me sees and recognizes the light in you.” Its harder to write that when I closed my computer I felt kind of empty. I got some coffee. Made some oatmeal. Hugged Andy because he needed a hug- touch affirmation is his love language. Listened to the radio station, John in the morning. I worry about him in the booth all alone. He played Tom Petty’s “Wild Flowers” and Queen’s “Under Pressure.” It felt fitting. He is such a good DJ, so I posted a picture of my Morning Show mug on instagram, so he would see it but also the rest of the world to know I’m okay? Cool? Interesting? I can’t even tell my motivations any more.

I sat outside on my tiny porch that overlooks a Safeway roof. I sat in the sun and pretended I was on Spring Break (this week is Spring Break for public schools, say what you will). I listened to more music. I played guitar kind of poorly and wondered if the guys at the Safeway loading dock could hear me (Monday is a delivery day). I wondered if they could, would they be inspired or annoyed. I chose to think inspired. I tried to play “New Slang” by the Shins but couldn’t find the key to sing in. It’s harder to write that instead of some big adventure, I did a home workout with Andy. Squats are hard and relationships are not shiny. I took a bath. I read some essays by a non-fiction author about needing her own space as a middle -aged woman and mother. I wonder how she is doing now? I face-timed my mom. I had a Zoom dance party with my cousins. I made a salad and listened to the ‘Daily’ podcast about unemployment. I wondered if it was good spring break vibes to keep up with the news, but it also somehow makes me feel less alone.

I organized under the bathroom sink. I put all the soaps in a little bag leftover from a Christmas gift exhange. That made me feel good for some reason. It’s hard to write that I am sitting on the couch. No metaphors, no big meanings, words of wisdom. Just sitting. Andy is playing video games with his brother in California. My instinct is to be annoyed, but I know it’s important. Soon I’ll go on a walk, but maybe I’ll just take a nap and feel guilty. And maybe after that we’ll watch more Star Wars. I think we’re at the movie with the Yoda puppet. Thank goodness we got more popcorn kernels. I can hear the cars below driving into the Safeway parking lot. I wonder if they’re scared to be there, if they’re all wearing masks. My laundy has stopped. I can hear the cat’s water filter, like a softly flowing stream in the distance. And that, I suppose, is love in the time of.

#writing #quarantine #non-fiction #mental health

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btsybrkr · 5 years ago

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Here’s A List Of Things I Hate

I've reached something of a mental block recently when it comes to writing. I think it's because, despite sometimes coming off like I'm mocking things or just being a general smart-arse, I usually write about things I genuinely love. I love The Apprentice. I love Come Dine With Me. I love the idea that the Saturday night schedule, currently occupied on ITV1 by The Masked Singer - a horrifying cross between The Voice and a recurring nightmare I had between the ages of 6 and 8 - might one day be livened up by a post-apocalyptic The X Factor-style talent show in which we choose the next Prime Minister from a roster of Average Joe’s that just feel like giving it a bash.

I usually have lots to say about things I love, but recently, for some reason, I’m struggling to even think of anything that I love enough to write about. Maybe I’m being dragged down by the fact that this January alone seemed to last three long months, or perhaps because January itself included ‘Blue Monday’, the so-called ‘most miserable day of the year’. Maybe it's neither of things, maybe I’m just suffering from a bad case of The Realisation That We And Everything That We Do Are All, In The End, Meaningless, And That Every Day, We Are Collectively Hurtling Closer And Closer Towards The Endless Void And There Is Nothing That Any Of Us Can Do To Stop It. There's probably a snappier name for that, but you know what I mean. In any case, I’m just finding it much easier to think about things I hate recently.

Anyway, what do we do with these feelings of negativity to get rid of them once and for all? We express them. So, for anyone willing to read it, here’s a list of things I hate.

Stephen Mulhern

ITV mainstay Stephen Mulhern arguably belongs on television - not for any positive reason, just because it’s only the barrier of television between him and the viewer that allows him to appear as a cheerful friendly presence, rather than an insufferable know-it-all prick, whose repeated condescending glances to the camera during interviews with rejected Britain’s Got Talent contestants just wouldn’t fly in real life. I mean, really, imagine you were having a conversation with someone, and they reacted to something you said by looking off into the distance, à la Fleabag, with an expression that quite clearly reads “This person is an idiot!! Laugh, everyone!! Laugh at the idiot!!” You know what, Stephen? You’re the idiot. But I won’t laugh at you, because then you might think that you’re funny, and I’m just not having that.

Coleslaw

I saw a tweet years ago that said “what was the first person to milk a cow thinking?”, and honestly, it raises a very good question. I can only imagine that there was some perverted ulterior motives at play, for someone to not only milk the cow’s udders in the first place, but then to drink it, at a time when that just wasn’t done. They must have been a pretty nefarious character, it almost doesn’t bear thinking about. Instead, I’d like to question the motives of the even dodgier character who first looked at grated carrots, cabbage and onions, and thought ‘You know what might really tie these bland individual tastes together? Mayonnaise. A fuckload of it.’

You know what, though? It's not the existence of coleslaw that confuses me the most about it - it's the popularity of it. It has pride of place on the table at every family buffet, it’s disappointingly included in otherwise-appealing wraps in the Boots meal deal fridge, and it's an option on the menu in a shocking majority of takeaways, despite the fact that nobody has ever emerged, staggering and bleary-eyed from Walkabout at 3:30am and thought ‘I could absolutely murder some coleslaw’. Most annoying of all is the way some restaurants chuck a bit of paprika in the mix and use it as an excuse to rename it ‘POW POW GROOVY SLAW’, or something equally ridiculous. Why are we trying to sex up a bowl of vegetables covered in mayonnaise? I can't think of anything less sexy, and I don't particularly want to try.

Let's face it, coleslaw has long overstayed its welcome. It's the last stubborn hanger-on from the pages of stomach-churning 1970s dinner party cookbooks (probably found somewhere between the recipes for spinach and tuna pie and a boiled, unglazed joint of ham suspended in gelatine), and it's time we admitted that and stage a renaissance for the real king of the veg/mayo combo. Rise, Sir Potato Salad - your rule has begun.

Facebook

I recently deleted Facebook off my phone, and immediately noticed an improvement in the overall quality of my life. I promise I don’t mean this in the typical ‘phone bad, book good’ way that fake-’woke’ holier-than-thou characters preach about (usually on Facebook itself, ironically). I still happily waste away hours of my life on Twitter, and Instagram, the latter of which arguably has the most negative influence on my brain out of all the social networks. The thing with Facebook is that it doesn’t necessarily have a negative influence on my brain, so much as it has no influence on any part of me whatsoever. Facebook is a vacuum. It's completely, entirely pointless. In fact, it’s where ‘point’ itself goes to die.

Considering there’s probably no two Facebook users out there with the exact same friends list, I'm willing to bet that everybody’s News Feed looks eerily similar. Every scroll through is the same - a former workmate announcing a pregnancy, someone you forgot about from school sharing a vague, ‘deep’ quote about their hurt feelings, an elderly relative you didn't realise was racist until literally right now, when they began sharing posts from a page eloquently titled ‘MUSLIMS!! it is TIME to go HOME so we can have BRITAIN BACK’, or something along those lines. If you ever have nothing better to do - although, I'm sure there is always something, anything, better to do - just set a timer, open up Facebook, and see how long it takes before you come across a single thing that genuinely resonates with you in any positive way at all. I just redownloaded Facebook to try it for myself, and it took me 46 minutes.

Sound like a lie? Well, to be fair, it is. But there's more truth in that than almost anything you'll see on Facebook.

Those Slush Puppy Straws With Tiny Spoons On The End

Plastic straws are on their way out, and quite rightly. The Sea Turtle Conservancy estimate that around half the world’s sea turtles have ingested plastic, and straws are believed to have accounted for a lot of that. With everything you read or learn about the effect of straws on the environment, it's surprising that it's taken this long for us to do something about it.

With that said, it's not just the turtles that are benefitting from the rise of the paper straw - I'm pretty pleased about it as well. Why? Because using paper instead of plastic might mean that we stop manufacturing those evil straws with tiny spoons on the end of them.

Yes, evil. How many times have you been enjoying a Slush Puppy on a hot summer’s day, only to realise you can't get to the bits at the bottom of the cup, because your straw inexplicably has a spoon on the end of it. What's that for? A Slush Puppy is a drink, and spoons are for eating things with. “It's for eating the delicious bits of vaguely-flavoured ice after you've sucked up all the syrup”, you might say, but then why? Mojitos are made with crushed ice, but you wouldn't go up to the barman and go "excuse me, mate, you forgot to give me a spoon so I could eat all these delicious bits of vaguely-minty ice", would you?

Anyway, you can't suck up all the syrup in the first place when the bottom of your straw just isn't a straw. This a problem we usually solve by holding the cup above our mouths and giving the bottom of the cup a gentle tap, usually sending the rest of it falling out of the cup and all over your face, shirt, anywhere but your mouth, faster than you can say “I can't believe I’m 23 years old and writing an angry blog about straws with tiny spoons on the end”. Another solution we often resort to is turning the straw upside down, which, in my experience, always leads to cutting the roof of your mouth on the tiny spoon that you were never going to use in the first place. No wonder it took us so long to show a bit of sympathy for the turtles - we've been ignoring our own straw-related injuries for years, probably just because we think it makes us look hard.

As far as I'm concerned, spoons are for food, and straws are for liquids. That's why, whenever I order soup in a café, I always ask for a straw. Yes, I get looks from the other customers, but I'm sure they aren't looks of amusement or confusion - everyone else just wishes they'd thought of it first.

Ladybirds

Ladybirds aren't cute. They are not ‘nice’ bugs. They are beetles, in a quirky disguise, who can also fly. With all that in mind, why are we taught to like them? Why do people spot one land on your clothes, or in your hair, and cheerfully announce “oh, there’s a ladybird on you!”, as if you’ve somehow been chosen by the ladybird and should feel honoured. Get it off me now, because I don’t know what it’s going to do! Don’t tell me that it’s ‘harmless’ and that I’m ‘overreacting’. We thought that cigarettes were ‘harmless’ before the mid-60s, cheerfully puffing our way through life, with one in each hand at any given moment, as we watched our darling babies speak their first words, which were usually something along the lines of “alright, mate, 20 Sterling Dual, please” - but then we learned. We learned that they weren’t as harmless as we first thought. And believe me when I tell you that, one day, we’ll reach the same conclusion about ladybirds. Just as soon as we find out exactly what they’re planning.

In fact, where have they gone? I haven’t seen one for a good while. Surely, they’re holed up in a specially designed lair somewhere, millions of them, carefully planning their next move in their efforts to overthrow the human race. Planning and watching. We may not be able to see them, but I’m willing to bet they have eyes on us. You know when you’re alone and you get the feeling there’s something or someone else present? It’s ladybirds. I’m sure of it. We need to watch our backs.

I’m not really sure where my fear of ladybirds has come from. Perhaps it’s down to a dream I’ve been having at least three times a year since I was a teenager, in which I’m leaving my Nan’s house and spot a ladybird the size of a Golden Retriever out in the alleyway, just sitting there, still and silent. I run around the corner to one of my friend’s houses, to warn him of the arrival of our ladybird overlords, but the entire front of his house is covered in millions of the things. I shout his name, up at an open window, and he replies that he’s coming down to open the door to me, but when he does, it isn’t him at all - it’s just a 6ft tall ladybird. I usually wake up in a cold sweat at that point, but when I try to go back to sleep, I can feel them crawling all over me.

I know I sound insane, but I promise you, I’m not - I just don't trust them, and I think that’s understandable.

Hate

If there's one thing I hate more than all the above, it's the very concept of hate itself. I don't just mean in a political or universal sense - although, I do agree the world might be a far better place if we all just hated each other a little bit less - hate has an effect on all our personal lives, too.

I'm really trying to make the most of my early twenties, and that means conserving what little energy I have left after I'm done working, drinking, and crying - just the usual daily activities that we all partake in - to be a little more productive. I can't be using that energy up on hate. In fact, in a scientific study that I've literally just made up, it was found that feeling hatred for even one fifth of a second uses up three times as much mental and physical energy as smiling at sixteen angry strangers, half of which are making fists at you. You can't argue with those sorts of statistics.

Anyway, I'm hoping to return to talking about things that make me feel a little more positive next time, because, besides anything, it's just nice to be nice, isn't it?

Not to Stephen Mulhern, though. He needs to learn his lesson.

If you like seeing me talking shit, but would rather it wasn't so bloody long, you can follow me on twitter here.

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cheolttage · 6 years ago

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Only You.

Title: Only you.

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Soulmate!AU, College!AU

Summary: “It seems like a lifetime ago that i began searching for you. You, who my love seems never ending for; that went far beyond what i thought i could love. When i am with you, i want for nothing.”

Soulmates are linked via feelings and hear can what your soulmate say in his heart (but you cannot hear him when you guys arrange any meet up, you found out from your mom that it has to happen naturally). You feel whatever your soulmate feels and your soulmate feels whatever you feel.

Word Count: 2.03K

p/s: sorry, it’s my first time writing and I'm really not as creative or as good of a writer as other blogs. I wrote this purely out of fun. Nevertheless, I hope anyone reading this will like it. ^____^

Time check: 3:16am in the morning. You flipped on your bed with the comfort of air conditioning against the merciless summer heat even though it was night. You were on your bed since 11pm trying to sleep; even the bedsheet that felt cool to the skin initially warmed up from your body warmth. What is really keeping you up? You felt so vexed and irritated yet slightly emotional. But you have no idea why.

“I really want to give up”

You heard a voice from your head. Your soulmate has spoken and you finally understood your feeling now.

“Looks like i’m not the only one awake now and someone’s keeping me awake..” you muttered as you got off your bed, knowing well that you probably will not be sleeping any time soon. Stretching your limbs and with a yawn, you wobbled to the kitchen for a glass of milk.

“I wonder what’s keeping him up…” you whispered. You couldn’t help but be curious about what is keeping your soulmate up, so vexed and annoyed at 3am in the morning. Opening up the fridge, you took out a carton of milk and poured yourself a glass of milk before returning to your room. Slowly, you closed your room’s door and sat down before your desk.

“Where is the damn switcH” you said as you struggled to switch on the desk lamp. You decided that since you couldn’t sleep, it will be better to do something than to sit around and stare into space. Deciding on completing your bullet journal for 2019, you opened up your notebook and chose rose quartz and serenity coloured brush marker for the theme. As you started scribbling and designed your notebook, you couldn’t help but feel a wave of emotions because of your soulmate.

You flipped to a brand new page and wrote:

“It seems like a lifetime ago that i began searching for you.

You, who my love seems never ending for; that went far beyond what i thought i could love.

When i am with you, i want for nothing.”

You didn’t know where you got the idea to write that or what made you move your arms to write that but from the bottom of your heart, you wanted your soulmate to feel better and know that he is not alone no matter what he is going through.

Within 10 seconds, you got a reply.

“Thank you, i love you.”

You were a little taken back from his reply because you weren’t sure if what you wrote down will be guaranteed conveyed to him. Afterall, you wrote it down and not think about it out loud.

“You heard that?”

“Yes dummy. I heard it because you were reading it out loud in your mind. Also, we have been talking like this for almost half a year but i still have no idea what your name is.”

“Y/N.”

“Ah. Wonwoo here.”

That was cute. You were happy that your heart was conveyed to him and that he even took a step forward to start calling you names. Not to mention you finally know his name! Your heart was truly bubbling with happiness and you felt fuzzy because, It sounds silly, but little things like these are what pulled people closer together. You were 100% sure that he could feel how happy you are.

“What’s up? You seem really happy.”

“Nothing! Just watching a romance movie.” You lied smoothly, you weren’t sure if he will fall for it but you decided to go with it because you didn’t want to let your feelings known so early.. Yet.

“Sure.”

You heard the sarcasm in his words but decided to brush it off because you were simply too happy to care. Funny, because you were feeling happy but mixed with slight frustration. But you can also sense that the feeling of frustration seems to be fading and you felt even happier to know that your soulmate seems to be less vexed now at least.

“Go to sleep early.”

“You too! Stay positive, things will eventually work out.” You beamed at the thought of your soulmate.

“Alright, i will talk to you again tomorrow.”

“Later you mean? It’s already a brand new day.”

“Right. Later. See you!”

You smiled as you closed your notebook shut before you switched off the desk lamp and dive into the comfort of your bed. Within a few minutes, you drifted off to sleep.

You woke up at exactly 7am ready for school, but feeling lethargic as you were you sat on your bed with your eyes closed for another few minutes; mentally cursing yourself for sleeping this late.

“Tired?”

You shot up at your soulmate’s words and rushed to the toilet, preparing for school.

“No!”

“Sure.” He teased.

You grabbed your breakfast left on the dining table and your bag before you rushed out to school. Time check: 8:20am you are 10 minutes away from being late and you are just outside the campus library. You were literally scrambling to the lecture theatre and you really couldn’t be bothered about how much of a mess you look like at all now. As you ran past the library’s door, the door flunk open and a tall boy walked out. Before you could look up, you felt your head hit his chest.

“AH. I’m sorry!!! I gotta go, i’m late for class!” You said as you looked up.

Damn. He looks great.

But you were really in a rush to continue staring, before the boy can even speak you already ran off like a rocket.

“Wow, she ran off already.. And who did my soulmate see that she found handsome?” Wonwoo muttered before he zoned back not knowing that whoever bumped into him was his soulmate. Before he continued walking to the canteen, he found a notebook lying on the floor.

“Huh? Whose is this…?” He picked it up, but uncertain if he should open the notebook to check whose notebook it was.

“I don’t think it’s nice to open someone’s notebook without permission.. But how else can i return it?” Wonwoo muttered as he fiddled with the notebook.

“Whatever, i should return it.”

Deciding on returning the notebook, he opened up the notebook and flipped a few pages before he stopped on one page.

It read:

It seems like a lifetime ago that i began searching for you.

You, who my love seems never ending for; that went far beyond what i thought i could love.

When i am with you, i want for nothing.

Wonwoo’s eyes widen as he pushed his spectacles up. He found you.

The clock struck 12 noon as lecture has ended, you started packing up your lecture materials before you head to the canteen for lunch and then head home. However, you realised your notebook is missing and started panicking.

“Oh my goodness, where is my notebook?” You whispered as you searched your bag. The more you searched, the more you panic. Suddenly, you heard a voice in your head.

“Looks like someone lost her notebook?”

What? How did he know? Oh, right he can feel whatever you feel maybe that’s why he knows that you lost your notebook.

“Gosh, all my schedules are inside.. What am i gonna do with it now?”

No, wait. Hold up, how did he specifically know that it’s your NOTEBOOK?

“How did you know?!”

“Because i have it.”

Your eyes widened as you gasped.

“Where did i drop it?!”

“This morning.”

You traced back your memory before remembering that you bumped into a guy outside the library this morning.

“WHAT. That was you?!” you gasped trying to remember how he looked like. Though he was extremely good looking, you couldn’t remember the face of a guy you met for perhaps, 20 seconds.

“Yes. Since we can’t arrange a meet up, my favourite place is the campus library.”

You seemed to get the hint though you weren’t sure what time to go. But you decided to try your luck every morning anyway. Before you got your notebook back, you can only rely on your memory for the schedules.

The following day, you can to school extra early and by 7.30am you were already in the campus library and even chose a seat that is eye-catching from every corner deliberately so that Wonwoo will be able to see you.

You waited and waited. It was already 8.15am, you really have to head to class but Wonwoo wasn’t there. You knew he wasn’t there even though you weren’t exactly sure how he looked like but you just knew. You stood up and walked to the door, looking down, to exit feeling defeated. Yet again, before you knew it, the door swung open and you bumped into a tall guy.

“Where are you going, Y/N? Don’t you want your notebook back?”

You were shocked to hear your name as you looked up. A tall guy wearing spectacles and holding a pink notebook. It was the guy from yesterday, your soulmate! Your heart bloomed in happiness almost immediately.

“W-Wonwoo?”

“Hi Y/N, thank you for finding me good-looking.”

“W-wha-what?” you stuttered while blushing furiously.

“I heard your heart yesterday when you bumped into me yesterday at roughly the same timing.”

Your face was completely red by now and you were so embarrassed.

“C-can i have my notebook back? I have to go for class! Um, i will see you around i guess.” you muttered before grabbing your notebook and sped off.

Wonwoo turned to the way you sped off as his lips curled into a smile.

Cute.

You settled down once you reached the lecture theatre and you opened your notebook. You were extremely surprised to find a post-it on the page you written your feelings on.

“To. Y/N

Hi Y/N~ I’m Wonwoo! Here is my number.

XXX-XXXXXX-XX

Text me soon!”

Your lips curled into a smile as you closed your notebook, ready for lesson. The entire lecture, your mind kept drifting elsewhere and you couldn’t pay attention at all.

“Hey, listen during lecture.”

You were surprised to hear Wonwoo’s voice, nevertheless you tried your best to pay attention until lecture is over.

“I can’t focus.”

“Just listen! Remember to text me too.”

After hearing his words, you started to get impatient, waiting for lecture to end. Once lecture ended, you took your phone out immediately and keyed in his number before you texted Wonwoo.

“I’m Y/N. I just ended lecture.”

“That’s great, i’m already at the canteen. Come look for me.”

You bit your lip as you strutted towards the canteen, feeling like your heart is about to rupture. As you approach the canteen, you weren’t sure where he was especially when there were so many people. But as you looked around, a boy wearing a grey sweater with spectacles caught your eye.

There he was. You walked towards him and took a seat in front of him as you looked down feeling extremely shy.

“Hi.. I’m Y/N”

“You sound cuter in person. Looks like you are a year 1 student?”

His words caught your attention as you looked up feeling confused,

“Are you not year 1?”

You weren’t sure about his age at all, you just assumed that he was the same age as you. The only thing you knew was that he was in the same college as you. You laughed as at how silly you were, automatically assuming he was the same age as you after knowing he was in the same college as you.

“Y/N, i’m about to graduate.”

You widen your eyes, if you could verbally say “???” you totally would.

“I automatically assumed you were my age… then i thought you might be a year or two older than me. I just didn’t think you’d be a graduating student..”

Wonwoo smiled as he reached for your hands.

“Graduating or not, i will be seeing you for the rest of my life.”

You subconsciously break into a smile as you held his hand back.

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ahntravels · 6 years ago

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Day два.

Day 2. Woke up and completely forgot I was in St. Petersburg for a moment. My bed at home is a queen, and the bed at this hotel is for a tiny person (in fact, I think my bed at ND was larger...) Anyway, I rolled over as per usual, and completely rolled off the bed.

I never would have thought, in my wildest dreams, I would one day wake up in Russia. Here’s to just pulling the trigger and making it happen.

Today, as mentioned yesterday, is Hermitage day. I didn’t know what exactly to expect, except all blogs mentioned to a) buy your ticket in advance (online) and b) get there early. The museum opens at 10, and I had planned on getting there at 10, except halfway through the 20 minute walk I realized I forgot my wallet and visa so I had to go walk back to the hotel and then walk back again, basically adding another 30 minutes to my trip. I arrived around 10:30.

I will say, walking up to the Winter Palace (Hermitage) was surreal. It’s HUGE.

Below is the arch you walk through which reveals the mammoth Palace

I’ve seen Buckingham Palace in London and Versailles in Paris. I will say that they are NOTHING compared to the Hermitage Museum in terms of shear size. It’s kind of crazy that those arches completely conceal the Palace until you start to walk through it. Then you see like...part of the Palace, but it’s not until you walk through the arch that there is this instantaneous reveal. Included in the reveal is the shock of just seeing the Palace in full + the huge size of it spanning your vision across the X-axis + all the blue sky and empty space that just silences you for a moment.

SIDE NOTE: For whatever stupid, immature reason, every time I think of the “reveal”, I think of that scene from Mario 64 when you’re running towards a photo of the Princess and it turns out to be Bowser. No, I’m not drunk, don’t ask me why I think of these things at the most random times. And yes, I did spend 15 minutes searching for this photo collage.

Anyway. I am sure the Winter Palace is GORGEOUS during winter. The acoustics of the space when it’s covered in snow must be like...next level. I’m sure St. Petersburg during the winter is amazing.

If you want a history lesson on the Hermitage, the Hermitage website has a great timeline. Again, as with the other blogs, I’m not going to be going into detail about images of the place or the history of the pieces exhibited. So many other blogs have done it so much better and I’m not going to butcher that. I’ll just mention a few things that stuck out to me, and you can Google around and figure it out.

I will say that if you do visit, I can offer a couple of tips you may want to follow.

1) The map. The map is confusing but not. You’ll just find yourself getting annoyed because, when you know where you are going, the gaggle of tourists and tourist groups will spin you around and suddenly you forget which way is which. Because the museum is HUGE (I saw maybe 1/8th of the museum in 4-5 hours?) you have to prioritize what to see. Keep in mind that, as time elapses, the museum becomes more and more inundated with the dreaded tourist groups, basically making your chances of getting a clear photo of anything nill.

2) Tourists (a.k.a. the “Boos”). See the map below. The Hermitage has 3 floors. Below is a floor plan of probably the most popular floor, thanks to Mr. da Vinci and many of the decorative palace rooms (amongst other exhibits):

The good thing is that the map kind of pulls out the most famous exhibits and shows you what room they are in. This makes your job of figuring out where you need to go to cross out those items from your bucket list easy. The bad part: The enemy (a.k.a. tourists groups a.k.a. “boos”) also know where these pieces are and are racing as well to find them. The good news: the boos are with tourist groups and have to wait until the tour guide guides them to the room with the exhibit. So, you have time to beat them to it and snag the photo if you are quick.

Just like in Mario, as time progresses and you aren’t being proactive, more and more of these guys are going to flood the Museum and follow you and clog up the exhibits. So, how do you win? I suggest getting to the museum first thing, then IMMEDIATELY source those famous exhibits, get your photos, then start at the beginning. Most of the tourists are going to be spending a large portion of their time taking photos of the great hall, which leaves you time to sneak past. Case in point:

The line to da Vinci. It was actually way worse a bit earlier when I came around again. I managed to get there early enough and snagged a decent photo:

In general, just like Versailles, the rooms are huge and ornate and absolutely beautiful. I was standing by a window, looking out into the courtyard from what was probably a ballroom in the palace, and thought to myself who else, years ago, was gazing forlornly (or with happiness, or deep in thought) out this same window.

I think that is the most magical part about these palace museums: people LIVED here. People also died here, were executed, fell in love, gave birth, went mad. And when you see relics of those like ridiculous looking Russian uniforms or weird trinkets from decades past, you have to remember that, no, these weren’t fashioned after film props, but film props fashioned after the real living thing. And the real living thing from 100+ years ago is right in front of you.

It’s pretty spectacular.

Oh, so this was exciting: The were having a temporary exhibit, and it was REMBRANDT!! Mike! I’m sure you have seen most of these because they sourced the pieces from the Leiden collection...maybe you have seen some of these at the Frick?

Anyway, there was NO PHOTOGRAPHY so I couldn’t really snag photos of pieces specifically.

I did find myself in a Jean-Baptiste while lost in the French wing:

I didn’t and couldn’t wander the halls for the full 4-5 hours straight. I took a couple of breaks, grabbing a coffee at the cafe for 15 minutes before trying again. I do suggest you break up your visit to the Hermitage into two days; it really is the only way to not feel like your brain is going to explode.

Afterwards, I took a walk outside by the water behind the Palace.

Gratuitous selfie. That’ll be two hundred rubles.

At this point, I had about 2.5 hours to kill before I needed to make my way to the Mariinsky Theater for the performance. So, I did what anyone should do, and that is wander around and picked up a snack to munch on (sorry, no photo of munchies).

There were people painting on the lawn, and I meant to come back and scope out the progress, but became distracted so I didn’t. I did manage to view a live performance (there are performers EVERYWHERE) and I’ll have to post in a separate blog entry because I still can’t figure out how to take the video from my phone and stick it here.

I stopped at a progressive burger joint (in terms of menu options) for my “snack” (I didn’t eat breakfast despite my large leftovers still sitting in the refrigerator) and ate one of these guys sans burger sauce:

It’s essentially a falafal burger with cucumbers and halved grape tomatoes inside. The bun was my least favorite part (larger in circumference than the patty, which drives me INSANE) so I ditched it angrily. The bun and the burger should be the same size, and the patty should be thicker than each half of the bun. If the top bun is thicker than the patty, the bun is trash. BESIDES THAT ISSUE, the patty was actually really flavorful, and the veggies were (surprise!) slightly pickled. I wasn’t a huge fan of the background of dill I tasted, but that’s fine. The lunch hit the spot and I felt alive again.

I know, call me a hypocrite for yelling about wasting food and here I am ditching a perfectly good bun. Well, arguably it wasn’t perfectly good, but I did take a bite and decided I much preferred the insides. Whatever. To quote Trump, “Who cares, we won!”

ASHLEY SIDE NOTE: It’s actually been great being overseas, because I have been shielded from all the US politics. However, I did catch a headline today and I mistakenly checked out Trump’s interview and wow...glad I am over here.

Eventually, I made my way to the theater via Uber (there is no Lyft here, and taxis are a little...shady. And slow. And expensive). I will have to comment on Russian driving (or, driving in Russia):

1) It’s nuts. Nuttier than cabbies and NYC driving. Nuttier than driving in France. Probably not nuttier than driving in Vietnam or other places where you are competing with scooters and cars, but it’s still pretty nutty.

2) However, I noticed that they do one thing correctly and without anger that we don’t do in America, and that is merging. In Russia, they utilize the “zipper merge” technique quite patiently and diligently, which, after taking 3 Ubers and cursing under my breath at the “assholes” who merged at the last minute, I realized that this was common and drivers didn’t sweat it.

“Those apparently rude drivers are putting more of the roadway to use and thus helping speed things along, in much the same way water flows faster through a funnel than through a straw.”

3) There is no bus lane or real lanes in general (I mean, there are lines painted in the road but people disregard them) and cars are just weaving in and out, trying to avoid buses, bikers, etc. And everyone drives stick, so it can get a little rough at times.

Anyway, I manged to get to the theater at the nick of time (traffic is TERRIBLE) and had decent balcony seating:

The Mariiinsky Theater isn’t huge, but the acoustics are really good. The ballet itself was really interesting. Interesting in the sense that this performance, in terms of skill, seemed to be this mix of gracefulness and like...cirque du soleil. I haven’t seen many ballets, but the ones I have seen did not showcase these magnificent bouts of exaggerated athleticism as performed by these dancers (i.e. 360 degree turns ad infinitum, Labron Jamesesque slam dunk vertical leaps, etc). Don’t get me wrong; these dancers are incredible and it was fun to watch them exhibit their unrelenting strength. However, I felt, where the narrative fell short, the shock and awe carried it through.

I have to be honest and say that I’m not the type to sit through a long, dry opera or ballet, so Le Corsaire broke through any of that fear and was much appreciated. Given we are in the world of #metoo, the plot didn’t really adhere to the moral standard (the narrative is much about the selling of women as slaves, that people of the Middle Eastern ethnicity is less than smart, etc). Yeah, not the best message. However, despite the immature and possibly offensive plot, the artistry was really good...the backgrounds and costumes were beautiful, and the music was moving. I really liked the duo in Act II...I believe it’s the Adagio, but I will have to go back through the soundtrack to figure it out.

Afterwards, I ate a really light and late dinner and came back to the hotel where I am writing this. It’s past midnight, and I am officially 63 years old!*

youtube

Tomorrow, I think i will visit the Faberge museum, then the Anna Akhamatova Museum, then a food market called the Kuznechny Market where I will try to buy some caviar, THEN bday dinner, then I need to hit the hay because I have a 6AM train out of Russia and into Estonia. I am really feeling sad that my stay in Russia is ending, but excited to see two more countries.

Until tomorrow!

*I told the waiter today was my birthday, and he said, “Congratulations”. What a curious response. I suppose living is a task, and becoming a year older is like a life promotion.

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zpidey-sense · 7 years ago

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eye of the tiger [gert x chase]

Pairing: Gert Yorkes x Chase Stein

Description: Gert has been secretly training with Molly every night. Until one night Molly is just too tired and finally decides to stop training Gert, leaving her on her own... but is she really on her own?

Words: 4.707... holy fuck, oops!

Warnings: a lot of flulff! And bad words of course, cause I´m the queen of cursing.

Note: Slightly cheesy at the end, cause y’all know I die for the gertxchase feels. And I also need more of that content lmao, can Hulu be faster and start doing season 2 already???? I’m dying for them!

By the way this post looks weird af on desktop, but it looks okay in the app!

The gif, I found it on @rowansdagger blog, not sure of who made it! But God bless that soul cause it saved my life!

Also, here is my masterlist! If you’re interested on reading my work.

‘’I think this is dumb as fuck, G.’’ Molly commented as she wrapped her hands on her, now pink colored bends.

‘’What did you just say?’’, Gert asked as she frowned and walked next to her, actually a bit surprised by her choice of words. ‘’Did you just say the word fuck? Since when do you use that word?’’

‘’Ugh, yes I did! Just because it is really stupid!’’, Molly said immediately as she just looked back at Gert. ‘’It’s the 2:00 a.m., in the morning!’’

Gert just smiled at her words:

‘’You know the ‘’a.m.’’ part means morning already, right?’’, she said as she started to wrap her hands on her bends on a soft way. Her hands had some bruises, so it hurt just a little.

‘’Of course I know that, Gert! I was just making emphasis in the fact that I should be sleeping!!’’, Gert just smiled and nodded as she saw how her little sister grew in frustration. She knew it would happen sooner or later, and this time it was sooner than she thought, but right now she just needed half an hour and that would be just fine.

‘’Oh come on Mols, it’s only half an hour.’’

‘’Still G, we could be doing this with the others at normal hours of the morning, you know. Not like if we were vampires or something, and had to do everything in secret.’’

‘’Yeah, you know I can’t do that’’, Gert commented as she blushed slightly.

‘’Yes, you can.’’

‘’Maybe I can… but you know I don’t like to be seen by others. I actually hate it’’

‘’I know’’, Molly said after some minutes of silence. She of course knew about her social anxiety and all her other issues, and she totally understood her. ‘’But still! We could do this earlier in the day, or maybe even at morning and just move to another room, there is plenty of space here. The Hostel is huge!’’

‘’I don’t want them to know either Molly, I want it to be a surprise.’’

Molly just raised her eyebrows and then kind of smiled:

‘’A surprise huh, is it for all of us or for someone in specific?’’

‘’Shut up, Mols’’, Gert said as she rolled her eyes and tried to stop the blush forming on her cheeks.

‘’So, it really is for that someone!’’

‘’No, it’s not, Mols. It’s a surprise for the whole team and for me. Now shut up and let’s start before it gets later, please.’’

‘’Ugh, sometimes I can’t with you’’, Molly commented as her annoyance started to show even more. ‘’I’m too tired.’’

‘’Molly, please!’’, but Molly didn’t say anything as she neither move a single inch. ‘’Molly!’’, but she didn’t answer.

It took just a few seconds for Gert to finally start thinking on something Molly would never say no to:

‘’Molly! I promise to wake you up with waffles… with a lot of chocolate on... even marshmallows!On bed! Only if you help me one more night’’, she commented, and as she did she also saw how Molly’s smile started to get bigger and bigger.

‘’Are you for serious?’’

‘’Have I ever lied to you about waffles?’’, that comment made Molly smile bigger. It seemed impossible, but for Molly nothing was impossible.

‘’You promise?’’, Molly asked really excited, now extending her arm and offering her pinky for Gert to take.‘’Pinky promise?’’

‘’I totally do, I pinky promise Mols’’, Gert said as she took her pinky and twisted it a bit with hers.

Molly smiled and then after some seconds she just screamed ‘’watch out!’’ while attacking Gert out of nowhere, that made them both fall on the floor, with Molly above Gert, she was looking at her now totally surprised:

‘’Fuck off, Mols’’, she said, now a bit annoyed. ‘’ What the fuck was that?’’

‘’Always be ready, remember that?’’. She said with the biggest of the smiles now.

And that was just because waffles, they always fixed everything.

‘’Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just don’t do that again.’’

Molly laughed and then just helped her get up, some seconds later both totally ready and starting to combat, this time for real. They both did that every night since the team started to train, even though she didn’t train with them and they didn’t know she was training, but it was the same routine and the same movements.

It felt great.

She always saw them when they were training too, she was always with them but watching from afar, while reading a book or listening to music. Sometimes, she was just pretending to do that while she was actually watching them and their movements.

Even O.L. trained with them, especially with Chase just because they had a crazy bond going on; not even Gert knew how to explain how that was happening.

Anyways, they all decided to start training because they noticed that every time they left the hostel to look for supplies or food, they always encountered a new danger. Like for example a new gang of bad guys or some weird and crazy villain, on a lower scale that didn’t need the help of The Avengers or even the police, of course.

Even if the police was as evil as their parents, but anyways!

After 3 minor incidents happened where at least one of them got out of slightly hurt, they decided that they needed to be a little bit more prepared if they didn’t want to die, or worse, be caught by the police and their parents.

Gert decided that she couldn’t be part of it, but two nights after they started training she couldn’t sleep for some reason, so she decided to go for a walk. She ended up going to that part of the Hostel where they usually trained and after some minutes of just walking around it, she just tried some of the movements she saw them making that same morning.

She felt weird at first because she didn’t have any crazy superpowers like Karo, Molly and Nico had. Neither she was strong or muscled like Chase, nor didn’t she know all the weird but cool tactics Alex knew to fight thanks to his video games.

She felt just... out of place.

That was actually one of the main reasons she didn’t want to train with them, but in those few minutes that she was trying to train by herself she even felt worse than she thought she would, just because she felt that she was doing it wrong.

Until Molly appeared of course, she actually just let herself be seen by Gert because she followed her after she left the room they all were sleeping in after watching a movie some minutes ago, so Molly actually had been seeing her for almost 20 minutes.

Gert wanted to die when she saw her, she felt ashamed and shy of herself. But Molly didn’t let that happen, she actually encouraged her to keep going and at the end she even helped her to train, showing Gert how the movements had to be done.

Since that night they had that little system; while everyone was sleeping she left O.L. with Chase, and after some minutes she just reunited with Molly downstairs and started her training.

It was a good system, until Molly started to feel too tired to even try to function right during the days. Even Gert was starting to feel exhausted, so she knew that it was going to happen pretty soon, and tonight she was sure it was the last night.

But at least she learnt from Molly as much as she could, Gert thought. She also thought that she was getting faster; she could even say that she was feeling stronger and if she was honest, she really liked it. It felt just right.

‘’Alright, we are done’’, Gert said 45 minutes later, as she kept lying on the floor. She had bruises all over her body and right now she was feeling like someone was passing over her with a bus, she was really tired.

She already had thousands of bruises, but tonight the list was going to grow. No one noticed her bruises though, or well, maybe that’s what she thought.

‘’Of course we are’’, Molly said as she got up immediately and then just yawned. ‘’Tomorrow Gertrude Yorkes, remember my waffles. If not, consider yourself done.’’

Gert just smiled as she watched her little sister slowly leave the room, she was noticeably tired:

‘’Don’t worry, goodnight and hope you sleep well bruiser!’’

‘’Don’t call me like that!!’’, she said as she frowned and kept walking away. ‘’You know I hate it’’

‘’Sure, thanks for everything Mols!’’

‘’Yeah, yeah!’’

‘’I love you!’’, Gert just smiled at her response and kept lying there; slowly closing her eyes as she tried to gain some more energies again. Tonight it was the last one, so they trained harder than they ever did before.

She was tired; actually more than tired she was fucking exhausted. She had to pretend everything was normal, so she woke up with them every day at 8:00 am, even though she usually fell asleep at 3:30am every night, so she, of course needed more sleep.

She actually needed some vacations.

And the most important thing now, she needed a warm shower.

But right now she was just laying there, without glasses and with her hair on a high bun, something she never did. Also, she was using the sportiest clothes she could find on her little closet. She didn’t look like her best and she knew it, besides she was all sweaty and feeling dirty, but she didn’t care right now because the only one that saw her like that was Molly.

Or so she thought.

‘’Gert?’’, a really familiar voice suddenly asked.

‘’Fuck’’, she thought just as she opened her eyes and looked at him there, looking at her from above. His hair was messy and the way the light was shining above him made him seem like a literal God. ‘’Fuck, fuck, fuck’’

‘’Are you okay?’’, he asked again.

‘’Hey Chase’’, she slowly blushed as she just kept lying on the floor. She could see him and even if she saw him kind of blurry because of her lack of glasses, she knew he was smiling now. That smile she noticed was reserved only for her. ‘’Yeah! Of course I’m okay, why wouldn’t I be?’’

‘’Well, first… you’re lying on the floor and from there’’, he pointed at the top of the stairs where O.L. was now watching them as he sat like a huge, nice dog, ‘’if I’m honest, it looks like you are dead. It’s also 3:30 am, so... you know.’’

‘’Well, as you can see from the conversation we are both having right now, I’m not dead. So yeah, I’m okay Chase.’’ Gert smiled as she slowly sat on the floor, crossing her legs and trying to not maintain eye contact with him.

‘’Then what’s up, dear?’’, Chase asked as he just sat down in front of her. Gert taking a deep sigh immediately as he did that. He was on his pj’s, just as she left him like an hour ago.

Sometimes... well, most of the time they used to fall asleep together, they were sure no one knew about it. But of course everyone did know about it.

‘’I don’t know, what’s down?’’, that comment made Chase laugh, so he just bit his lip. Gert watched him as he did that, and in that moment she wished she had her glasses just to detail him better.

‘’What are you doing here and… like this?’’, he asked again as Gert just looked at him, she really didn’t know what to say so she just looked at him like she was judging him. ‘’By the way, you look adorable Gert. If I’m honest.’’

‘’God’’, she just thought as she rolled her eyes and looked at him, and then she just smiled a bit just because she couldn’t help it.

‘’Really adorable’’, he added with a little smile.

‘’Well, thanks… and nothing, really nothing Chase, I’m just here… chilling, don’t you see’’, she shrugged as she looked down; some seconds later she just heard him scoff.

‘’You’re never going to tell me, right?’’

‘’Tell you what?’’, she looked at him again.

‘’What you’ve been doing, G’’

‘’And what exactly I’ve been doing, Stein?’’, she asked as she raised an eyebrow.

‘’I notice how many bruises you get every day, you knew that, right?’’, Chase said as he raised his eyebrows. ‘We sleep together, G. I notice.’’

‘’So what?’’, Gert asked again, pretending to not know what he meant as her anxiety was growing inside and not slowly.

‘’Well, if you want an elaborated and detailed inform of what you’ve been doing these past weeks I think that’s going to take me more than a bit. But long story short, I know that today you finally perfected that kick you’ve been dying to do since two weeks ago, darling.’’

Gert’s face went expressionless as she felt how her cheeks started to feel warmer and warmer. Holy shit, that’s all her mind could think on right now as now she knew that he knew and that he has probably been…

‘’I’ve been seeing you, and Mols... every night’’, he just confirmed her. That affirmation made her close her eyes as she felt ashamed, but mostly shy of herself. ‘’I also feel when you leave the bed, you know… I can’t really sleep without you.’’

‘’Well’’, she said as she looked at him again, even more blushed by his second confession. ‘’Today is the last night you will ever see that, cause Molly doesn’t want to help me anymore.’’

‘’Yeah, and it’s a total shame G’’, he said as he just smiled and Gert looked at him confused. ‘’But now it’s going to be so much better, trust me’’

‘’What do you mean?’’, she just asked that, looking at him on a weird way.

‘’Yeah! Great you ask, cause now I’m going to be your trainer!’’, he said now with his biggest smile ever as he then kind of did jazz hands. Gert just looked at him on a weird way as her cheeks started to feel hotter, not even warmer but just hotter. ‘’Yayyy!’’

‘’What?! B-but… I’m not asking you, Chase!’’

‘’I know you’re not! That’s why I’m proposing myself, I’m not asking you either. I’m just saying that I will be your trainer’’

‘’But Chase, what the f…’’

‘’Oh, come on muffin lips…’’

‘’Don’t call me like that’’, she cut his words almost immediately.

‘’Alright, Gertrude’’, Chase said on a funny way as he kept smiling and she just rolled her eyes. ‘’We both know you want to keep training’’

‘’Well, yeah of course I do Chase, b-‘’

‘’But nothing, G! I want to be your trainer’’, he said as he kept looking at her, but now with big puppy eyes.

‘’Chase’’, he knew those eyes never failed with her.

‘’Please, let me be your trainer’’, he said or well, more like he begged her.

‘’Ugh, alright Chase’’, she said after some seconds, rolling her eyes and then just looking at him, trying to hold her smile. ‘’You can be my trainer from now on, are you happy?’’

‘’Great! Of course I’m happy’’, he said as he smiled bigger and bigger. He felt that was his opportunity to get closer to Gert again, he needed it to happen even if she seemed to have gotten over him.

And he also wanted to help her train by the way, because he always saw how happy she was when she was training so he didn’t want that little piece of happiness to stop for her.

‘’But!’’, she quickly added.

‘’Oh my god’’

‘’Yeah, you know there is a but… I only accept if you don’t try to teach me how to kick’’, Gert said now while smiling.

‘’What do you even mean?’’

‘’Oh Chase, I didn’t want to be the one to break the news for you, but you really don’t know how to kick’’

‘’Oh! So now you’re saying you’re better than me, huh!’’, Chase said as he smiled at her.

‘’Well, I didn’t say that but… you’re not lying either…’’ Gert shrugged as she bit her lip on a playful way.

‘’Does this means what I think it does?’’

‘’I don’t know, what’s that?’’

‘’Are you challenging me now?’’

‘’Oh, hell yeah I am’’, she said as she just got up, suddenly feeling all energetic again.

‘’Ohh, alright. Let’s dot this’’ Chase said as he got up, taking his phone from the floor and unlocking it. They all had phones, but none of them worked like they should do, so they were practically just iPods without apps and internet.

Really boring to be honest, but at least they worked for music.

‘’What are you doing… pumpkin eyes?’’, she quickly whispered the nickname she gave him some years ago, just loud enough for him to hear as well.

So when he heard her calling him by his old nickname, his eyes couldn’t get brighter and his heartbeat couldn’t get faster, he just smiled and kept looking for the song:

‘’If we are going to train then it’s gonna be on my rules, muffin lips’’, he smiled as he played the song.

Gert frowned just as soon as she heard the intro. It was Eye Of The Tiger.

‘’Oh my god, what the fuck?’’, and then just laughed. ‘’Are we suddenly inside a Rocky movie, or what?’’

‘’Oh come on! It’s good for training!’’

‘’If we were living on the 80’s, for sure it is!’’, she said, just kidding though.

‘’So what? You love the 80’s!’’ Chase pointed out as he smiled.

‘’Alright, whatever’’, she just rolled her eyes and fixed her bun, all while smiling. Chase couldn’t help but smile like an idiot as well. ‘’I hope the next song after this one gets better, though.’’

‘’It’s the same song.’’

‘’What do you mean by it’s the same song?’’

‘’It’s a playlist, dear’’ he then showed her the phone, scrolling down the playlist as it showed the same song over and over, and over again.

‘’Oh my god, Chase!’’, Gert just laughed as she just kind of leant herself back. ‘’I can’t believe you.’’

‘’Well, you like me like this after all’’, he just shrugged as he left the phone on the floor.

‘’Yep, I do… anyways, let’s start!’’ Gert said quickly again, as she tried to avoid the little affirmation she made after he said that.

This must be Chase’s lucky day… or night, technically. His heart felt like it was filled with emotion as his cheeks got redder. She never admitted it like that; she has actually never said something like that. Ever.

‘’Alright!’’, and then they just got in position.

It seemed like they were actually going to fight, but it was never really close to it. They basically just played with each other as they laughed and playfully bumped each other, they were just having fun and they liked it.

They missed goofing like that.

They all lived under the same roof as a team, it was weird to have those kind of intimate moments with the person you liked, and even trying to make a movement was weird because there was always someone else in the room so you were never really alone.

And the walls were thin, so somehow everyone always knew what was up with the others. Nothing was a secret, and if it was then everyone knew about it but no one talked about it. It was like a non-written rule.

So having moments like those were really appreciated. Chase felt free; doing something he always wanted to do with one of his favorite persons in the whole world was something that made him feel free.

Gert felt completed, for a moment she felt like nothing else but her little game with Chase was what mattered. No anxiety attacks, no panic, no depression pills were even on her mind. She felt good.

Both felt freed and completed, like they finally found the thing that was missing on their lives. The thing that they lost by acting like they never were friends some years ago. But now it was back, and way stronger than before.

‘’Chase! Your phone!’’, Gert said out loud as she kept running. He stopped to look at her as she just hit herself against him just because she didn’t stop, as soon as that happened she fell above him on the floor.

‘’Sorry’’, she said as her cheeks got redder than they already were.

‘’Don’t worry’’, Chase answered immediately as he was gasping and looking at her. None of them moved, none of them wanted to move actually, just because they both were waiting for the same.

But, as usual on their weird relationship, none of them did it even if the desire was showing in their eyes.

Suddenly the atmosphere on the room quiet down. The laughter and banter disappeared as there was only a little tension on the air, it neither was uncomfortable nor weird, just the kind of tension they both have been wanting to break since they started to be friends again.

‘’I-‘’, Gert started to say as she slowly moved to get up, but Chase was faster. And even if she was stronger now, she really wanted that too so she didn’t even made an effort on stopping him.

‘’No, don’t leave’’, Chase suddenly said as he made her get closer, taking her by her waist. ‘’Please’’

‘’… make me stay’’, Gert suddenly said. After that, there was definitely nothing that could stop them.

Gert suddenly took Chase by his neck as he pulled her a bit closer to his face, none of them kissed first; it was more like a mutual and non-spoken decision just because they both wanted it. They both needed it.

First it was a really wild kiss, both wanting the most of each other as their hands touched the most that they could. They both were desperate, they both were hungry for each other because they have been trying to hide it for so long but at the end nothing could really stop them from doing that.

They both have been craving it since the last time they touched like that, since that night they boosted their parents. But it was also the night they both touched heaven and hell at the same time, and they will never forget about that.

Chase has been repeating the moment on his mind over and over again; meanwhile Gert has been regretting what she told him after what happened. The anxiety won over her that night, and after some time Chase knew that was what actually happened.

Both seemed to have forgotten about it, both tried to forget about it, but none of them really did it. They wanted to repeat it all over and over again.

In the middle of the kiss, Chase suddenly took over; rolling over the floor and getting above her as now his hands were on her neck, showing a slightly dominance as Gert slowly started to caress his back on a slow way, even almost undressing him.

As Chase took over, the kiss also slowed down; it suddenly got sweeter and even romantic.

They felt like old lovers that were finally reuniting after spending some time separated. They were loving it, Gert couldn’t stop thinking on how much she missed his lips, on how much she was craving his touch and on how much she was in love with him.

Meanwhile Chase only had on his mind how happy he was right now; how nothing or no one could compare to her and her touch, her kisses, and her body. How no one could ever be like her and how no one could ever top the love that he felt for her. He was so in love, and he could finally admit it.

Suddenly Chase’s lips took another direction and he soon started to kiss her neck on a really slow way, making her feel better as she wasn’t able to stop smiling. He stopped on the middle of her neck as he whispered something that was incomprehensible for her.

‘’What?’’, Gert said on a fragile and even sensual voice. That voice made Chase get crazy as he has only heard that voice once.

And oh, he missed it.

‘’God, I fucking love you’’, he said as he went back to her lips and started to kiss her immediately. She was shocked about what he said, she couldn’t believe what he just said but the way her heart was racing couldn’t say it more, she fucking loved him as well.

‘’Oh my god!’’, the sound of Karo’s voice made them both stop as they looked at the top of the stairs. Karolina was there, looking at them in total shock as Old Lace was on her feet, moving her tail as a huge dog. ‘’Get a room you guys, what the hell!’’

And just as soon as she appeared out of nowhere, she just left. Her face said it all, it was a total poem and oh, everybody was going to know about it.

‘’Dammit’’, they both thought.

‘’Huh...’’, Chase finally broke the silence.

‘’I- I think we should go back to sleep’’, Gert said as she looked back at Chase.

His cheeks were as red as a tomato and she couldn’t even stop her smile, just because he looked adorable.

‘’Yeah... yeah. You’re right’’ Chase then looked back at her again and then just smiled. ‘’I’m sorry.’’

‘’It’s totally perfect Chase, you know it’’

Both smiled and then they just got up, Chase finally stopping the playlist as they both started to walk upstairs. They were quiet and noticeably nervous, both of them really were.

Gert couldn’t stop playing with her bracelet, meanwhile Chase was breathing on a really weird way. Their minds were racing because both wanted to say many things, but as always no one said anything first, so no one said a single word about what just happened.

Some seconds later Gert suddenly stopped just as Chase kept walking to their usual room, he then just stopped with a sleepy Old Lace next to him when he noticed that she stopped.

‘’I’ll... I’ll take a shower, you know’’, Gert said as she smiled and he started to walk back to her.

‘’Oh’’

‘’Yeah’’, she nodded.

He smiled and after that they both got quiet, it wasn’t uncomfortable nor weird. It was just the fact that they were just really nervous and didn’t want to leave things hanging on like before, of course.

They actually just wanted to keep going. But again, none of them did nothing.

‘’Oh yeah, shower, sure! I should get going... you know’’, he just smiled and then just started to walk.

‘’Wait, Chase!’’, she suddenly took him by his hand and just pulled him back, making him get closer.

She then just took him by his neck and suddenly kissed him, getting on tiptoes as he just closed his eyes and tried not to smile during the kiss, it was the most sincere and sweet kiss ever, and he wanted it to last as much as it could.

It would never stop feeling as the best thing he has ever done, and it felt the same for her.

‘’You know I hope you really meant that thing you said back there... cause I do too... I love you too, Chase’’, she just smiled and then just went inside the bathroom, leaving a smiley Chase outside of it.

They both immediately laid on the door, closing their eyes as they both felt their hearts racing. Now they knew it and they could declare it, they were really in love and nothing could stop them from feeling that way.

‘’Dammit, I love you so much.’’ They both whispered after some seconds, still laying on the bathroom door. They totally heard each other and nothing could stop them from smiling the way they were.

Just as the way they were feeling.

So freaking cuteeeee jhfksjhf I love them so much, I wanna die byeeeee. So if you wanna read more of my work here is my masterlist! (I have another gert x chase imagine) and also if you wanna follow me, you totally can! Thanks for reading lol. By the way this post looks weird af on desktop, but it looks okay in the app!

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cosmosogler · 6 years ago

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hi guys! i had REAL BAD dreams!! so i got up late!

actually i woke up earlier than my alarm (i hadn’t been able to fall asleep until after 2, and i woke up around 9-ish?) and i ended up laying on my back staring up at the ceiling fan for a while. just watching it go. it reminds me that i am in my own home, which i pay for with my own money, and which i live in. sprawled out staring up at the ceiling fan.

i got up and poked around. didn’t really feel like doing anything. i finally made up lunch and biked over to the department around 12. i had lunch and then went to the drc at 1:15 in the rain. the appointment was... productive. we talked about my accommodations. i’ll be looking at testing help next.

i got screened for a learning disability. based on my answers, the new helper person came to the conclusion that i have depression.

that reminds me. i have two appointments tomorrow, one on friday, one on monday, one next tuesday, and one next wednesday. I CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS!!!!!!

anyway after i got back i really struggled to do any studying. i got through one day of notes in stat mech, which is like 20 minutes’ worth of reading. it took me two and a half hours. what else was i even doing? i don’t remember. i installed xkit at some point hoping it would fix my broken ass activity feed, but it didn’t. i still can’t see 80% of the activity on the comic page in the feed. and stuff keeps disappearing after i’ve seen it too which makes the numbers even lower.

i came home and was too tired to make any dinner. i eventually got up and put something in the microwave. and... hmm. i cleaned the bathroom a little bit, which i had been putting off. i put off a lot of chores this weekend that i’ve been getting to very slowly.

i also finished two things for the comic! i cannot post either of them yet, so they are sitting on top of the huge “draft” post pile. but it’s nice to have them out of the way. it’s the avatar image i’m going to switch to next, and a notebook reference picture for the new character that’ll be showing up in the next part of the story. i have two more digital pictures i want to finish before the end of july. one’s got a thumbnail and i like how it looks, i just need to actually draw the picture. the other one i don’t quite know what i want yet.

ummm let’s see. i think that’s about it. i wish i could stop having awful dreams. last night there was a running theme of “i am minding my own business / trying to solve a problem when people who are supposed to be helping me decide to put me in severe danger or just kind of be assholes.”

i don’t remember how often i write about this here, but i’m a little disappointed at how many people have told me they’re gonna read the comic and then haven’t. when i offered to show keegan the other week he directly asked for a link and told me he would tell me what he thought. that was over a week ago. harrison’s bff zoe never got to it and he’s been nagging her after she said she was really interested. apparently he showed her one of my pictures (that made me panic at the time) and zoe didn’t say anything to me about it but according to harrison she gave it a “glowing review” to him. natalie last spoke to me over two weeks ago now, and even then she hadn’t looked past the first four pages a week before that last message.

at least taylor said “when it’s done” which is easier to take as an indirect “no.” i wish people would do what they say they are doing.

i don’t know what i’m doing wrong. i don’t know why SO MANY PEOPLE in my life make commitments they don’t keep. i can’t even go out and have fun with my friends because they commit to going to the bar or whatever and then when the time comes they aren’t even around. keegan asks if we want to play smash at a certain time and then when we say yes, he goes home a half hour before we were supposed to start.

i wish harrison wasn’t the ONLY PERSON who actually kept his commitments. i feel walled in. i hate having just one, like, actual friend in my community. i just wanna go to the movies sometimes, you know?

my classmates keep making huge plans the day before they want to go out. i’m a little upset that one guy asked to go to the beach this weekend the day before he wanted to leave and he still got people to go along. i don’t know if those plans fell through or not though- they didn’t post any pictures. my plans fell through and i made them weeks in advance specifically scheduled so that the most people could go.

it’s hard for me to gather up the resources to attend this stuff when i only know about it the day before, though. i went to soham’s... that was like 50-60 minutes of biking total and i was so tired the next day, and they didn’t actually make enough food so i biked home hungry all the way up the hill for 3 miles...

ehh i’m whining. i should stop. i don’t understand why it hurts so bad. it makes me feel like i don’t matter.

it makes me feel like i don’t matter to the people i care about. who i thought cared about me.

i’ve been getting that feeling a lot lately. with the department leaving me out in the cold when i thought i was on really good terms with some of the people who made kind of nasty comments to me... friends who say they’ll hang out or look at my art and then don’t. i hope i’m not asking for too big a time commitment. i thought playing video games wasn’t that bad. but we haven’t done that in months now and i put so much effort into repairing / replacing the controllers for smash. i put that together just so it would be easier to play and no one wants to. i don’t know what to do. i don’t know how to matter more to these people that i care about.

i know that makes me an annoying tryhard. i know. i just want friends so bad. i want my classmates, these people i’ve known for a year and who i care about, to have a good time and not be miserable because of our workload. i bring in candy, i bring in games, i fix the controllers... i know i can’t ASK them to hang out, i can’t pressure them, but i keep hoping maybe they’ll want to do something or spend time with me. AND THEY SAY YES! AND THEY MAKE PLANS! and then they don’t keep them. they change their minds at the last minute.

i’m relieved that my money is back in place, for the most part... like i have a definite course of action there. but i still feel so lonely and miserable. even online i feel too shy to really reach out to more than one person at a time, and trying to talk a lot doesn’t necessarily mean we become friends.

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bluenet13 · 7 years ago

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A Magical Holiday Break

I wrote this mainly for my own amusement and almost decided not to post it, but thought someone might enjoy it so I went with it and here we are. This is my third @densi-mber story and exists in the same timeline as the other two, but it can totally be read on its own.

“Baby, we’re not spending New Year’s Eve in Times Square.” Kensi said for what felt like the 100th time, continuing the argument that had started 2 days ago, as soon as they had been informed that NCIS was giving all the OSP team one week off as holiday vacation.

“Come on Princess, what place is more magical to receive the New Year together than Times Square?” Deeks looked at Kensi with his best puppy eyes and charming smile, hoping to convince her so they could start making travel arrangements.

“Shaggy, you just said the key to this whole situation… any place would be magical as long as we’re together… I just want to receive the New Year with you,” the sincerity and love in her words made his heart flutter and not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, he wondered how he had managed to get so lucky as to have this incredible woman in his life.

But, still there was an argument to win and a decision to be made so he couldn’t let his heart control his actions and needed to keep thinking with his head… at least until they were back in their shared bedroom. “I know that Kensalina, but if we can add a magical scene it would only make the moment even more magical and unforgettable.”

“Deeks, when we’re on a case you usually need to pee every 30 minutes… just imagine in the middle of winter… in New York City… and surrounded by 1 million people.” She looked at him from across their dining table, while she continued to eat her pasta. “It’s a recipe for disaster…” She eventually finished after a huge mouthful of her favorite Deeks’ culinary creation and a swig of her beer.

Deeks concentrated on his meal while he thought of a better argument but Kensi had just made a valid point. His face shined and his eyes took on that brightness they got when he was about to say a joke or tease one of his friends, “we can always use an adult diaper…”

Kensi almost chocked on the serving she was currently devouring and glared at her boyfriend while she took another swig to help fully swallow the offending pasta. “I’m not using an adult diaper…” Seeing the still amused looked in his eyes she knew she had to make her point even clearer, “…and neither are you!”

“You’re such a spoilsport Fern…” Kensi could only laugh at his comment and the pout that appeared on his face after her comment.

“Oh, and you’re such a baby Marty… stop with the pouting and act like the grown-up you’re supposed to be.” She kept laughing even as she said the words, enjoying teasing this man she loved so much.

He just glared at her and pouted even more, almost pointing out that he didn’t like to be called Marty, but knowing she had done it to annoy him and not wanting to give her the satisfaction. So he just decided to continue eating his pasta, while silently still thinking of a way to convince her.

-x-x-x-

The next morning started as the previous night ended… With another argument about their upcoming vacations. “Come on Kens, you know this is the best idea, pleeease?”

“Stop giving me your puppy eyes, they won’t make me change my mind…” Even as she said the words, she reached out to push his bangs away from said eyes, staring at them lovingly and getting lost in their blue depth.

“Then what do you say we do? Enjoy our vacation staying in the same LA and house?” He tried sounding indignant, going for a different approach to persuade her.

“We could still travel, just maybe somewhere close by… That way we can still enjoy a bit of free time and holiday celebration with our moms.”

“Yeah Kens, like that’s exactly what I want to do after our successful breakfast the other day, and dinner this past Sunday turned into little Marty picture time…”

“Oh but those pictures were so cute… I still want a copy of the one you’re wearing nothing but a diaper and the fluffy Santa hat,” she hugged him as she said the words in an attempt to show him that it was not a joke but that she really meant it.

“I’m sure mama is gonna get you a copy of it… and probably of the whole album if you asked, sometimes I think she likes you more than me…” He faked hurt as he said it, emphasizing his point by placing his hand dramatically over his heart.

“Well, can you really blame her? I actually make attempts to meet her while you always want to find an excuse… and you pointed a gun at her boyf… Guy… the first time you met him.” Every time the man was mentioned in an intimate capacity with Roberta, Deeks seem to blow a fuse, so she decided to take the save route and address him by name.

“Kens, you weren’t there… You don’t know how walking into that looked to me….” He was tired of speaking about Guy, his mama or anyone else, and he really just wanted a time for themselves, like the one they spent after going all in…

Just then his eyes took that special brightness and cheerfulness she loved so much, making it clear his crazy mind just had a new idea. “I got it! Let’s still go to NY but instead of staying in the city let’s book a cabin in a different town, what do you think?”

It was impossible to tell him no when his eyes were tinkling like that and when such an adorable and innocent smile was present on his face. “Okay baby, I remember reading of this town called Tarrytown, it’s just a short train ride away from Manhattan, so we can still see and enjoy the city but get back to a cozy cabin at night and… I would like to get back to LA for New Year’s.”

Hearing her words he instantly nodded, and with his adorable smile still present on his face, moved to hug her and kiss her sweetly on the lips, lingering there a second longer and breathing in her scent. He really liked the idea of spending New Year’s in New York, but also understood that given the year they just had, it was important to enjoy those days with family and their NCIS teammates and their moms were just that.

After breaking apart he went to their bedroom to pick up his laptop so they could start looking for a place and making reservations. Finding a place so close to the holidays wasn’t going to be easy, but hopefully one away from the city wouldn’t be as hard or expensive to find. After their conversation about Holiday gifts and saving money for their wedding they had almost decided not to go on vacation at all, but they both agreed the escape was needed and that’s when the discussion to pick a location had started.

It took the couple 45 minutes and a couple of new disagreements but they finally booked their flights and a small one-bedroom cabin north of NYC and close to the train station. They decided to travel early in the morning from LA and late at night from NY so they could enjoy as many days in the city without having to use all their vacations days there. Kensi having convinced her boyfriend to leave a day open so they could meet the moms for another Holiday visit and a day to meet the guys as they declined to go with them when they had been invited to join the trip, preferring to stay in LA and enjoy some calm days.

Holiday plans in motion, the young partners just needed to survive a few more days at work and it would be time for their much needed vacation and relaxing days to enjoy the company they both loved and cherished the most.

-x-x-x-

That morning Kensi and Deeks woke up eager to have a quick breakfast and head straight to the airport, bags already finished the night before, and just needing to add some toiletries and pack their laptops. After about 20 minutes of getting ready they left their home ready for their trip, both feeling sad having to leave Monty behind, but glad that Eric and Nell had agreed to come pick up the mutt later that day and take care of him for the duration of their trip.

They got to the airport with plenty of time to spare and with an excuse of going to the restroom Deeks stopped at a donut place to get some treats for his girlfriend to surprise and indulge her on the plane.

The young couple spent the flight snuggled together, laughing and looking at each other as if they were the only other person in the world… And in that moment, they really were. They ate their donuts, and laughed even more when Deeks jokingly smeared a bunch of powdered sugar on Kensi’s forehead, resulting in her covering his nose in strawberry jelly and excitedly screaming that she was flying with Rudolf. For anyone looking from a distance, the young couple might have appeared drunk, but in reality they were only overindulging in love and the peace that these days, away from it all, brought them.

“Come on baby, baggage claim is that way,” Kensi couldn’t help but smile at the pure wonder in Deeks’ voice as he signaled for the way to go. He looked like a kid, and she wondered how many vacations like this he had been able to enjoy during his childhood.

“Slow down Shaggy, I’m coming.” She was practically running behind him as she said the words, struggling to catch up to him and not crash with any of the other ton of people walking around them. New York City was surely a busy place this time of the year.

It took them around 3 hours to finally arrive to their cabin, having to wait for a prior flight before reclaiming their luggage and then awkwardly discovering that all NYC taxi drivers didn’t know how to get to little towns north of the city, so eventually deciding to head over to the train station instead. Kensi had wanted to rent a car but Deeks succeeded in convincing her to just enjoy these days as a tourists and not worry about traffic, parking and the other things that came with driving in the Big Apple.

“Oh wow, this place is awesome… And look at this tub.” Now it was Kensi’s voice the one full of wonder as she took in the sight before her and especially the hot tub located in the back, already thinking of all the things they would do there.

That night the couple decided to stay in their little town, and just left the comfort of the cabin to have some dinner and quickly came back… to escape from the cold, and find warmth in each other. Also finding a lot of help in the fireplace and hot tub that the cabin offered.

-x-x-x-

The next morning came quicker than any of them wanted, and with it started their 3 days for tourism and relaxation before they had to fly back on the fourth.

Combining both of their interests they first decided to head over to Union Square where the Wonder Twins had recommended they checked out their Holiday Market. As soon as they got out of the subway, they were surprised by the enormity of the skyscrapers and the simplicity of the little plaza where the market was located. They shopped a little, buying some homemade treats to eat that night at the cabin and some special handmade souvenirs to take to their teammates and moms back home. They even got one for Mosley, hoping to stay in her good graces and never have her try to, again, send Deeks back to LAPD.

Leaving the market they decided to walk 5th street until the point it reached Central Park, stopping at various places to look at the characteristic Manhattan Attractions. They took pictures of the Empire State, Flatiron Building, Rockefeller Center and many other places in between.

If asked later, both would easily agree their favorite part of the day was the ice rink they found in one of their stops, both instantly transported to another frozen lake 3 years prior. They held each other more closely after that, both remembering the past 7 years of their lives and how a MMA gym, a girl name Tracy and a boy name Jason had changed the course of both their lives forever. And how ultimately passing through another girl named Melissa and then Fern, and a boy named Justin and then Max, they had ended in a couple name Kensi Blye and Marty Deeks… One that would hopefully share the same surname, soon.

They got back to their cabin later that night, tired but content in the success of their day and ready to enjoy another night in each other’s arms.

-x-x-x-

The next 2 days of their trip proceeded in a similar way. They woke up tangled in each other, happy in the comfort and warm the other provided. They showered together, and almost every morning ended up taking longer than expected as said activity involved a lot more than just showering.

The first of those days, they decided to walk Central Park, especially as Deeks wanted to visit Strawberry Fields, the part of the park with the Imagine memorial dedicated to John Lennon. As they were leaving to continue their walk, the young man turned up to look at the sky, and Kensi silently wondered if he had wanted to visit the memorial for his father and if maybe that gesture had been dedicated to him. The rest of the day involved more walking, pictures, laughs, a nice dinner and getting back to their cabin to enjoy another night in the hot tub and then spread in a blanket in front of the fireplace.

The last full day they would be spending in New York passed by quicker than any of the others. They woke up a little later than expected after the previous’ nights activities had lasted more than planned. But still it left them enough time to go to the city. That day they visited the area of Battery Park to look, at least, from distance at the Statue of Liberty, before walking to the 9/11 Memorial and paying their respects to the fallen heroes and civilians of that day.

When time for lunch came, Kensi insisted they took the subway to a special place she wanted to visit. Not totally sure but not wanting to deny his girl anything Deeks agreed and was completely surprised when they reached their destination. It was the original bakery that invented the Cronut and he couldn’t feel more love for his girlfriend than he felt at that moment. His mind, instead of being invaded by darkness and memories of past nightmares, was full of the love and admiration he felt for Kensi, also the pride he felt for himself as he had managed to, for the most part, leave those demons behind.

They went into the bakery hand-in-hand, and Deeks’ disappointment at learning the Cronuts usually were all sold out before noon, quickly evaporated as he learned that Kensi had called the day they booked the trip to reserve a half-dozen for them; using her NCIS influence to make it happen. He hugged her and whispered in her hear a quick thank you, along with sweet promises of things to come later that night.

Cronuts in hand and hearts full, the couple left the bakery to get back to the train station so they could make their way back to their town. They enjoyed a nice dinner together and eventually ended up like all previous nights, just this time, enjoying some cronuts along with the heat of the fireplace and each other.

-x-x-x-

On the last day of their trip, they decided to stay in the town and walk a bit down Main Street instead of going back to Manhattan and risk losing their flight later that night.

The walk lasted less than expected as both man and woman wanted to get back to the cabin as soon as possible to enjoy some last moments in their favorite hut tub and in each other’s arms. They whispered sweet nothings, promises of better times and reassurances of love as they soaked their joined bodies in the hot water, letting the action melt all their fears, doubts, and old nightmares away.

For them, this trip signaled more than just a vacation but it was really a matter of leaving the last year behind. Not only what had happened to them, but also to Sam, Owen, and to their family as a whole. They had needed the days to finally breathe and enjoy the mere fact that they were still alive and, more importantly, together. Eventually, they would have to go back to the realities and uncertainties of their lives and jobs but at least these few days had given them a little respite from all that.

They got to the airport feeling fresh and recharged, as always happy to be with each other, but also eager to get back to the rest of their family and hoping for a perfect New Year along with them, and hopefully an even better 2018, given all they had lost in 2017…

#densi-mber #densi-mber writing prompts #densi-mber drabble #densi #densi drabble #kensi x deeks #deeks x kensi #ncis los angeles #ncisla #mashmaiden

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braindamageforbeginners · 7 years ago

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Day 52

I woke up, feeling pretty good. I’m starting to sleep better, so maybe there is something to be said for giving cancer patients a little time to recover from the treatments. I tended to shrug off the assorted, lesser symptoms and stiffness during those first six weeks because I was highly functional (those of you who know me personally are probably chuckling at me using the word “functional” to describe myself). I solved a few more bureaucratic problems surrounding me being a sick person - someone from the doctor’s office called to say that, even though they’d filled out their portion of the DMV stuff, there was some segment I had to sign. Which, like everything else about this disease, is just another minor, 10%-harder-than-it-needs-to-be aggravation/annoyance. Still, I’ll figure that one out; I’ve made it this far. I’ll admit, that wasn’t my initial mental reaction, I briefly wanted to wail and gnash my teeth - fortunately, those last vestiges of surface-dweller have been overtaken by my inner kraken, so I just calmly asked the nurse to e-mail me the forms in question. Also as of this writing - late late evening Friday, 2/10/18, the forms haven’t arrived; so, pro-tip if you plan on ever being seriously ill or infirm, assume a one-business-day delay for all administrative/communications issues). Again, it’s kind of overwhelming and upsetting how many bureaucratic hurdles you have to overcome when you’re sick, even with the best care and people on your side (there will be entire blog posts about that issue, trust me). And I scheduled a dental visit, which, again, probably sounds pretty pedestrian to you, but I found thrilling.

Speaking of which, I spent most of yesterday tracking down and getting authorization/release for a prescription renewal, which, while annoying and unpleasant, never felt overwhelming; BUT, I did, finally, get a call yesterday evening from some creepy insurance robot saying that I did get the okay to pick that one up.

I also got a very sweet call from someone on the Radiation Team the other night saying they’d read my thank-you letter in the latest staff meeting, and thanking me for writing it; which is great, but I still feel that if those fine people ever feel unappreciated for a second, something is seriously wrong with society (there will be entire blog posts about what is wrong with society, too)(for starters, decent people allow themselves to be pushed around and let jerks rise to the very top; but I digress), Still, it does feel cool to know I might be able to do that for other people.

All of which is a rather roundabout way of updating you all on the various broad categories of after-hours calls you may receive in the abyss: 1. Very, very bad medical news 2. Very, very good medical news 3. Medical people calling to update you with various, random paperwork or lab results 4. Creepy, female health bureaucracy Terminators from the drug/insurance/whatever Universal Health Corporation updating you about the latest in your ongoing health paperwork quagmire (at this point, it kind of does feel like the insurance forms might well kill me long before cancer does). 5. People from along the abyssal journey calling to remind you that you’re an awesome kraken. You can guess which one is my favorite (it’s creepy insurance fembot; she sounds kind of hot).

Continuing that ever-growing theme of my life of showing gratitude when it’s due, thanks to all the neighbors and family friends who came out to wish me well this evening. Kudos to Ingrid, Kaydee, Roger, Jaime, Spencer, Amelia, Elise, Brinlee (I hope I spelled that), and everyone else I’m leaving out. Thanks for showing up, folks. And Roger, thank you for that delightfully absurd vision of a man walking into the dark, playing the accordion (and reader, if that mental image doesn’t make you smile, check to see that you are still alive).

Anyway, the thought-du-jour concerns headaches (the physical kind); the sort that you have, and I have. When you get a brain tumor, everyone wants to know if you have a headache. I am always asked if I have a headache. And I always try to answer honestly; and I’m sure the question is diagnostically accurate if they ask it. But, at the same time, there is a part of me that became recently aware, as I started feeling better, of the weird paradox of that question. In order to appreciate it - this is an audience participation exercise - I need you, reader, to sit still (but comfortably), in a quiet place without any distractions. And, now, in that position of relative comfort and health, let me ask, “Do you have a headache?” You probably don’t, but, even if you didn’t five minutes ago, there’s a solid chance some of you are reaching for the aspirin.

ANYWAY… WEIGHT: 218 lb CONCENTRATION:Not bad; I completed this thing and helped Mother Dearest in a variety of random tasks. APPETITE: Good, but slightly depressed. ACTIVITY LEVEL: Excellent; I went to the gym SLEEP QUALITY: Excellent. I’m dropping dead at a late hour, and waking up 7-ish hours later, feeling perfectly physically fine. COORDINATION/DEXTERITY: Excellent, although I still have a twitch in my left wrist and hand. MEMORY: Patchy. I can recall something with extreme detail; I had a little trouble keeping the neighbor kids straight, but I had that difficulty when I was healthy, And there were 20 of them, so it’s hard to keep rack (including, as it turns out, three feral children who just slipped past the guards). PHYSICAL: Not too bad. My head’s still sore, though that’ less of a dull ache, and more like stabbing, intermittent sensations SIDE EFFECTS: Nothing new.

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tuesday-tea-time · 5 years ago

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And, we're back..... Irony of this song is who it makes me think of but also it just came up on my phone, on a random shuffle.

I know i’ve never been good with making this consistent or even making posts the are relevant. All I’ve done is make the a place for me to just vent. I have an instagram with the same name and I want to try and make a post there and also make a post here. They can either be the same post, something related to each other or something completely different. End of the day, and how i’ve always said, this is my form of social media and therefore its my choice what I post. Obviously I try and keep things somewhat neutral and not giving names or really anything to specific, but I’ll post it how it is and post the truth to the situation or the truth to how I feel.

It’s somewhat weird to come back to this and just start talking about what's going on in my mind or what's going on in my life. I want to not only catch up this blog on what's going on but also catch myself up. It’s always interesting to me to see where I was a year ago or even month ago.

So, I guess we can start off with what this post is mainly about, Boy 1. Boy 1 is now gone...for the most part. I knew at the time of writing last time that it was something that needed to end and for thee most part is. The part that needed to end and to me that's what's the most important. From the time that Boy1 ended is when shit hit the fan at work and it was not only a choice but with my personal life became a time for the to decide to leave Dallas. I knew it wasn't going to be easy leaving my friends and family but really, leaving my family that just moved to be closer to me and be able to see me more. Doing what I do best, I got back on Hinge and changed my location to Houston. Started seeing what was there and also gave me some people to know once I moved. Me being me, I kept going out in Dallas. Met some people, reunited with some people, and well, ran into some people. It’s what I do. Do I still talk to the ones I ran into? yes. Sadly, they aren't a one time thing. They're Boy2. They get a name because they also tattoo me..... I tried to make something with Boy3 who also tattoos and sadly that never developed. Boy2 was a drunk decision and not my finest decision. But here they are, making it into a list....multiple lists. So before I even move to Houston I start talking to this guys...Per usual, I have no expectations because of how guys have been in the past and how guys are especially on dating sites. Well, he did what I said, Read my bio. So here's the introduction to Boy4. I know, this is a lot in a 2 month time frame, but new locations and trying to start new and a clean start. Boy 4 seemed different. He understood why I was still in Dallas looking in Houston. We talked more than I feel I have done to other guys. Best part, he knew when I was suppose to move and even told me welcome to Houston. Well, me being me, went out the night before and was too hung over to want to drive 4 hours to Houston or even think of packing my car to move. I stayed in Dallas one more day....went out one more time, shockingly didn't wake up hung over but weirdly woke up in a random bed in uptown with a random guy...drove picked up my friends and proceeded to leave Dallas to Houston. I was exhausted, starving and somewhat broke from moving. I already talked to Boy 4 about wanting to possibly meet up. Oh! Not only was I starving and exhausted I was also buzzing. I decided to power through a Mikes Harder one the last 20 min drive and that got me for a bit. I unloaded the car and passed out for a nap. Sobered up basically. But managed to get dinner with him. It was almost weird just because I really wasn't in the mood anymore. I figured why not and go see him. It was an aright dinner, he was kinda cheesy and when I left, I just didn't know how I felt. It wasn’t something that I really enjoyed, but it also wasn't a bad time. It was something where I’d see him again and just see where things go. Well, I decided to see him again. Same feelings but It was almost better, maybe not better but it was shocking. He came over and we just chilled, something not many people are use to when a guy comes over. He came over, didn't try to make a move on me. He just came over, smoked and we just chilled. I went to the bar with him after work and when it was time for me to leave is when he kissed me. I still wasn't very into him like it seemed like he was me, but he was a nice guy and I liked spending time with him, we got along well and for me having no friends in Houston the company was very nice. After all that I went back to Dallas for a concert. Ummm, let’s say Mother Nature had a different idea. Covid-19 was getting worse and worse and they started limiting social gatherings. Sadly the one concert I wanted to see was cancelled. Saturday I hung out with my people and I got the news we were closing until further notice. My weekend in Dallas turned into 2 weeks in Dallas. I was hanging around this guy(Boy5) I met that weekend and it was fine, but it was also kinda annoying. I decided to go back to Houston and get clothes since I had packed for a weekend and was staying for 2 weeks. I bounced around a lot. I went from McKinney, Dallas, Forney and Houston all in about 2 weeks. I got bored and decided to take advantage of the cheap flights. I booked a one-way to Las Vegas and spent a week out there. When I’m with other guys I become distant to others, just out of respect. I got a message from Boy4, he got furloughed from work and decided to move to Georgia and asked if I wanted to make a road trip with him. I booked a flight back to Dallas within 30 minutes and was back in Dallas in less than 12 hours. I spent a couple days with my parents and then made the drive back to Houston on Thursday. Friday as the big trip. Packed a bag Thursday night and was off to Georgia Friday. Basically since then I’ve been in Georgia, so at todays date about a month. It’s been interesting and I’ve learned a lot from being here. I can't really go anywhere because I have no car, plus this town isn't big so its not like I’m missing out on a ton of stuff. I’m watching a lot of TV, rewatching shows, catching up on shows, and finishing seasons from months or years ago. But I’m also spending a lot of time with someone that really means a lot to me. I know this is a long post but Its also a way to somewhat catch up. This is sadly only half of responding to my previous post. The other half of what post and my next post go hand in hand. They go with what's on my mind from last night and what comes to mind often because of everything that's gone on. I know he wants me to tell him what's on my mind, but that's just something I’v never been good at. I don't like to bring my problems on to someone else so I just don't speak them. I do what i do best and I just type them out here or write in a notebook...which ever is easiest and most convenient.

I feel like this is legit a novel and I should cut it short now. I basically said all I needed to, did what I waned to do and catch up from my previous post. I basically did. I just only caught up half. The other half is a whole post that also pertains to my thoughts last night so I guess this is just technically the end of part 1.

#newlessons #part1 #relocation #Dallas #Houston #recap

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