#also i have no idea what to tag this & i personally find 'anti' tags silly bc why is critical discussion automatically labeled as 'anti'?

[booksandabeer]

Ramblings on Fandom: Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers, Delusional Shippers, and Alleged Misogyny

So with the release of Season 2 of What If…? emotions are once again running high, the outrage is outraging, and people are up in arms about the whole Captain Carter situation. While I do think that some reactions are a little overblown, even needlessly aggressive in tone to the unfortunate detriment of their otherwise convincing arguments, I share the confusion and frustration about the sudden centering of a long-dead & never excessively popular character, the sidelining of the Steve-Bucky friendship, and the as-inexplicable-as-it-is-total exclusion of Sam Wilson as Captain America. However, I’m not here to talk about the show because (1) I haven’t watched this season and have no plans to (why waste time torturing myself with something I know I’ll hate?) and (2) other people have already written dozens of metas about it, so what could I possibly add at this point.

What I do want need to talk about (lest I explode) is something that has irritated me for a long time and that is now happening again: Every time someone even mildly criticizes Peggy Carter, expresses doubts about her suitability as a heroine, or even just questions her disproportionate importance to the franchise post-EG, inevitably a certain section of fans will come out of the woodwork to immediately throw around accusations of misogyny and yell about how we’re all just a bunch of delusional Stuckies who are mad that she got "in the way" of our ship. Sigh.

This is gonna be a long one, so I’ll put it under a cut. Rant incoming. You've been warned. If you don't want to read, simply keep scrolling.

First of all, let me state very clearly that I’m not debating the existence of misogyny and sexism in fandom spaces—or in the media from which these fandoms originate. At all. It exists, it’s a thing, I’m not denying that. Which is exactly why it frustrates me endlessly to see these accusations thrown around as a gotcha! argument to shut down any and all critical debate around a female character. All it does in the end is escalate rhetoric and radicalize attitudes.  

In the case of Peggy Carter, specifically her treatment by Stucky shippers, I’ve always found 'misogyny as a motive' to be a largely unsubstantiated accusation.¹ Now, I neither presume nor do I want to speak for the entirety of Stuckynation, so I will not claim that there aren't corners of the fandom where people discuss her in ways that I find off-putting and deeply unserious, but I will say this: If you genuinely believe that disliking one (1) fictional female character equals “hating all women” and wanting to suppress and marginalize their presence in fiction and real life alike—then I think we need to take that word away from you until you’ve learned its true meaning.

You might also want to ask yourself how exactly reducing a female character to a mute trophy wife or a heroine who has to act out her love interest’s recycled storylines helps your feminist fight.

As for the “getting in the way of your ship” part of the argument. Very simply put: No character can get in the way of something if there never ever was “a way” to that something to begin with. “Being mad” implies that there was a reasonable expectation that wasn’t met, a substantive hope that was crushed. Now, I’ve said this before and I’ll gladly say it again a million more times: No Stucky shipper in their right mind ever truly thought that there was even the slightest chance that Marvel Studios owned by the Walt Disney Company would allow Steve “Captain America” Rogers and Bucky “Winter Soldier” Barnes to be canonized as an explicitly romantic pairing in their billion dollar franchise. Be serious. That was never in the cards. I wish we all lived in a world where it was, but we don’t, and it wasn’t. The best we could ever hope for was for Steve and Bucky to get a good, satisfying, in-character ending. And if, in Steve’s case, that would’ve included hints (or more) about a possible rekindling of his, uh, aborted romance with Sharon—then so be it. But we never got any of that. The characters never got any of that. Instead they sent Steve into 1950s suburban hell, literally trapped him behind a white picket fence, and condemned him to a life of passivity and lies, all so he could be married to a woman he barely knew a long time ago in a completely different world; who built and ran a top-to-bottom Hydra-infested organization, but apparently never noticed that there was anything wrong with her life's work. For decades. Great. As for Bucky—well, we’ve all seen the devastatingly grim-faced, utterly lonely, and deeply sad version of him that was presented to us in TFATWS. Happy endings all around, I guess.

So. Am I mad that Steve didn’t get to ride into the rainbow-colored sunset with Bucky at the end of EG? No. Because that was never going to happen anyway. Would I have been mad had he ended up with Sharon or another female character in the 21st century? Also no. Granted, I wouldn’t have been ecstatic about it, but mad? No. But am I mad that Steve ended up with this specific female character under these specific circumstances as presented in canon? Fuck yeah, I am.

The thing is: I personally believe Steve and Peggy to be fundamentally incompatible when it comes to the way they view the world and their respective places in it; their morals and values; their capacity for compassion and empathy; their ability and willingness to compartmentalize, compromise, and collaborate with people and institutions whose ethics and/or politics do not align with their own. I have a real hard time believing that a relationship between these two (or worse, a hasty marriage) could be either happy or long-lasting.

I don’t believe Peggy to be inherently evil, I don’t hate her, I simply think she operates within a different moral framework than Steve (and even genuinely believes it to be a righteous one).² Your mileage may vary, but I personally happen to find that framework reprehensible, even indecent, and ultimately dangerous. After all, over the course of the 20th century, we have seen exactly where that kind of “the ends justify the means” brand of pragmatism leads—over and over again. Not to mention that the people who use this line of argument to defend characters like Peggy (or real-life politicians for that matter) never seem to want to look too closely at who gets to define what "the ends" are in the first place and who decides when they've finally been met.

(Never. The answer is never.)

And to be clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with depicting, and even centering a narrative around a morally (dark)gray character—oftentimes it’s actually the more interesting option—but you cannot at the same time claim that they are purely good and should be only admired as such when their actions literally tell an entirely different story.

So, no. I will not accept Peggy Carter as the shining aspirational heroine that the MCU so badly wants to sell her to me as—while simultaneously continuing to reveal things that paint an increasingly darker picture of her character. And I will certainly not celebrate seeing one of my favorite characters of all time—whose defining trait was that he couldn't ignore "a situation pointed south"; who used to fight for the little guy and against the establishment; who once said about the very organization that Peggy Carter helped build that it was so corrupt, it all needed to go—rendered morally inert for some hollow happy ending that may as well be a conservative’s wet dream full of false nostalgia for an America that never really existed. I cannot find it in me to be anything less but mad about that.

But that does not make me a misogynist. It does not make me a delusional shipper. It makes me someone who looks at what the MCU has been telling me about Peggy Carter for years now—over and over again—and takes it at its own word.

--------

¹ If you’ve actually read a a fair number of Stucky(!) fanfics you will have noticed that the reverence afforded to and "page time" devoted to her character and her relationship with Steve is somewhat disproportionate to anything that's backed up by canon—well, up until EG, where she was suddenly reanimated as The Great Love of Steve’s Life—and in my experience, it's highly unusual for any fandom to put so much (mostly) positive attention on another character, let alone a potential love interest that is not part of the endgame ship.

² I also want to emphasize that if you love Peggy and she's your fave: good for you! I genuinely have no beef with you. People can agree to disagree. All I ask for is that we maybe stop willfully ignoring the less savory aspects of her character. You don't need to pretend she's perfect to justify your affection for her. I LOVE Steve, and yet I have no problem conceding that he is FAR from perfect.

[superunnaturalsammy]

Man I gotta say a controversial take..

If you hate Wincest shut up about it ok.

Hear me out, I am not personally a Wincest shipper, it's really not my cup of tea. However, I'm also not a fuckin thought cop and I feel like posting over and over about how much you hate something other people like is stupid.

They aren't real people, I will repeat, SAM AND DEAN ARE NOT REAL. So the whole 'it's immoral' argument is a bit silly, people aren't saying that this is fine in real life, as far as I know Wincest shippers know it's wrong (maybe part of the appeal IDK). These shippers aren't advocating for real life incest they just like the idea of *fictional* characters together stop policing other people's minds.

Another thing, if you hate it so much why are you thinking about it constantly like if you posted about it less you'd probably get less posts recommended about it. It's amazing the way you can curate your internet experience. Simply block people who post content you don't like and block tags of things you don't like. It's so irritating to me, because I will see one overt Wincest post a day but I will see a dozen anti posts every time I open the app. Most of the time I see people bring it up they are antis. I just hate seeing people posting that they wish they could purge people who like a ship from the fandom. Who's next as well, we start with Wincest and then what, Destiel? Sastiel? Sabriel? like again y'all sound like cops.

And lastly, if you don't like Wincest you may need to just find a different fandom. Wincest is baked into the fandom, it's a ship that has existed since the beginning (it may be the oldest big ship in the fandom). There are references to it in the show, it's something that Eric Kripke and Sera Gamble wrote into the show, you can't remove it because it is part of the show. You don't have to like it or ship it or interact with it but you can't get rid of it so either suck it up or leave...

Thank you for coming to my TED talk LMAO.

TLDR: Stop complaining constantly about ships you don't like.

[luck-and-larceny]

SMASH OR PASS

Quick Facts:

Height: 5’4”

Age: 27 (I think...? Might be 28 now. She'll say she's whatever age she feels like being in the moment anyway)

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Bisexual 

Pros:

Knows what she likes: Demure wallflowers have their own charm to be sure, but that's not Malika’s charm. She’s not shy: She knows what she likes and she’s more than happy to let you know.

Flexibility: Physically and temperamentally. She has gymnastic training and her line of “work” (very legal stuff, certainly nothing problematic like burglary) helps her maintain those skills. Personality wise, her ambition is to live life to the absolute fullest. This means she doesn't believe there's only one right way to do…well… anything. 

Impulsive, adventurous, and fun: One of the benefits of being unconcerned about silly things like laws she doesn't agree with, social expectations she doesn't subscribe to, or opinions of people she doesn’t respect is that there's really nothing to stop her from engaging in risky, adventurous behavior whenever she feels like it. She'll enthusiastically take you by the hand and steal away with you to find fun wherever there is fun to be had.

When she likes you she really likes you!: She'll enthusiastically support you. She'll work behind the scenes and go to great lengths to make things work out for you. She'll leave you gifts and lavish you with charm and attention. The future is full of possibility! It could be the two of you forever!

Cons:

It's not going to be the two of you forever: She's not much good at sticking around. If she feels at all hemmed in, like you want her to change in anyway, or like you maybe want more from her than she's willing to give– she's gone. Like the wind, she'll breeze on in and breeze back out again.

She has little regard for… most everything: She loves overcoming obstacles. Unfortunately, sometimes locked doors, your possession of personal items she likes, and society’s appreciation for the truth are obstacles she particularly enjoys overcoming. If she's slighted, she doesn't turn the other cheek, she spitefully seeks revenge. If she sees something too fancy or expensive, she’ll probably break it. She thinks there's nothing better to keep you warm on a cold evening than a nice, cozy house fire: especially if she started that fire.

She's dangerously unhinged: Please see the above points.

Sexually: She loves having a good time and loves letting you know she's having a good time. Unless you want there to be doubt. She can roll with that too if you think it'd be fun. 

Romantically: Romancing Malika is a terrible idea. I do not recommend this. Crucially, she does not recommend this either. She'd be the first to tell you that you'd be better off putting that energy somewhere else. That said, when she begins to feel romantic there's a high likelihood she'll run away. If she sticks around, she'll give you thoughtful (probably stolen) gifts, find reasons to invite you on (probably illegal) excursions, and begin to (begrudgingly) show you a more vulnerable side of her personality.

Tagged by: @thefreelanceangel (who also gave me these cute dividers a long time ago. Thanks again!)

Tagging: Whoever wants to do it! Sorry for the cop out ( especially on this very anti-cop tumblr). If you want to do it and you saw it here first (somehow?), please pretend I tagged you. :D I want to see it!

[cooking-with-hailstones]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tags y'all! @mistresslrigtar @zeldadiarist @ladyhoneydee y'all go read their stuff it's so good

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just 8, but it's about to increase! ;)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

58,767!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Legend of Zelda - All BOTW so far. I have some ideas for other Zelda games but they remain as ideas for now.

I also have a short Marvel story from my Steve/Bucky days circa 2013.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Shadows - An Epistolary Poem from Steve Rogers to Bucky Barnes

Is that a yes? (Zelink oneshot, NSFW)

That child of mine (my beloved longfic - I promise I'm coming back to this story soon! I miss it so much)

Silk and moonlight (with art from the magnificent @bahbahhh)

A chance encounter at the blood clinic (modern Zelink au that is very silly but you gotta be ok with blood donation)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely! I am a sucker for attention and I love talking about stories with people.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh DEFINITELY That child of mine. It's not even finished yet but there is some goooood angst coming, and I already know how it's going to end (I've actually written a good chunk of the finale already) and it's gonna be heartbreaking.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably A chance enounter? They get each other's number and the promise of a cute date.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! I've only gotten some (requested) constructive criticism. I do have a fic planned that I anticipate being kinda contentious? But I'm already planning on limiting comments on that one lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yee! I've never written anything hardcore but I do really like writing and reading sexy scenes. I'm not much of a PWP kind of person (give me all of the emotional context) but I'm a big believer that sex and intimacy are fundamentally human experiences and can serve a story in so many beautiful and interesting ways.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I continue to chip away at my Deep Space 9/TotK crossover idea. It's gonna happen one day... maybe...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but maybe I'll try re-writing one of my stories in French sometime as a project.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but I would LOVE to. The closest is when B and I collaborated and I wrote a story and she did the art.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Zelink, definitely. People whose souls are inextricably bound to one another and keep finding each other, lifetime after lifetime? That's the good shit right there. Obsessed.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

The story that walked into my head that made me start writing. It's a crazy ambitious story - Basic premise is that instead of the Sheikah technology being banned by the ancient king, the Sheikah themselves were banished from the lands of Hyrule. In the interim, Hyrule has been through many wars, dynasties and factions have all risen and fallen, and the bloodline of the Goddess has been forgotten. No one remembers any of the old stories. Zelda is a farm girl training to become a healer like her mother, Link is the son of the king who won the throne after lead a successful campaign against the Zora, and into all of this comes a young Impa, drawn back to Hyrule after thousands of years away, tormented by visions of calamity, a prophecy her people have passed down for millenia, knowing that Hylia would recall them to the land of their ancestors when the time was right. It's anti-monarchy, it's about climate change, it's about falling in love and renouncing power in order to fulfill a greater purpose, it's about knowing yourself, it's about righting ancestral wrongs, and I do not think it will ever be finished but I do like to come back to it every once in a while.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Coming up with interesting concepts!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Executing interesting concepts?

But in all seriousness, I know I still have a lot to learn as a writer. I'm overly descriptive, I have long run-on sentences, dialogue tags are my nemesis, and I struggle to write with real depth of character.

I do think I'm a good storyteller. I am just still honing those skills.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it's great! I am obsessed with conlangs - I think they're so fucking cool. For writing in existing languages, as long as you're familiar with the language, or getting someone to look it over and not just running things through google translate, I think that's wonderful.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Captain America.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

That child of mine my beloved

This was really fun, thanks y'all!

Tagging @louwhose @newtsnaturethings @wanderingnightingale and @bahbahhh ! I'm sure y'all have already been tagged but add me to the pile of fans who want to hear more about your work :D

[crossovernonshipstournament]

All right so I'm going to get the groupings done today and hopefully have the matchups posted by today or tomorrow, but before I get started on that I thought I'd take a second to lay out the etiquette I'm expecting (and what behavior I will be banning) from this poll.

So, unlike the Artificial Kids Poll, which leaned into the "we're taking the kids out for ice cream later" vibe, I'm not gonna come down super hard on trash talk in this one. But that doesn't mean that anything goes! Here's some ideas of what will and will not fly.

Things that are fine:

-Comically exaggerated threats. (Ie, "If my fave doesn't win I'm blowing up the moon!" This is absurd. You're being silly. This is Saturday morning cartoon villain levels of overreaction. I'm fine with this.)

-Playground levels of trash talk. (Ie, "I can't believe they crossed over Camp Camp and Bob's Burgers. Look, see? Little King Trash Mouth." Look, you wanna throw shade at the characters, go for it. They can take it. This is okay too.)

-Incentivizing people to vote against an entry. (Ie, "If this entry wins I'll never watch this show you all keep telling me to watch/if they lose I'll definitely watch it." You wanna hold your own interests hostage to your followers do what you want. This is also fine.)

Things that are not fine:

-Insulting the canon properties or the people who enjoy them. (Ie, "Pitting this media property that I really like and find meaning in against this random who cares media property is an insult to my favorite media property." Any media property can have meaning to anyone, and sometimes the submissions came from people who were trying to fix a bad media so aren't even fans anyway and wouldn't appreciate the implication.)

(AND YES I WILL BE HOLDING MYSELF TO THIS AS WELL. There's RWBY characters in this poll and I am going to be sitting on my fucking hands not to insult RWBY's bad writing or take my usual potshots at how bad cRWBY are at their jobs. Like, for example, see that <- That kind of thing won't be tolerated.)

-Comments about the characters' appearance that can potentially reflect on real existing people who share that trait. (Ie, Felix is cartoonishly thin and explicitly drawn to look like a grimy little shit-weasel; remarks like that are fine, but "He's so ugly, look at his stupid white boy haircut and his complete lack of an ass," are traits that potentially someone reading could possibly have. We're only looking to trash the pretend people, we don't want collateral damage over here.)

-Should go without saying but anything that counts as real world hate-speech (racism, transphobia, anti-semitism, misogyny, ableism, etc, etc, etc- if it feels like you're using my silly tumblr poll as an excuse to be a bigoted piece of shit, I'm blocking you.)

-Anything that invalidates a character's likeability as a character. (This one is purely vibes but a good example is the person on Artificial Kids who kept tagging a poll with their fave against Boyd with how much they hated him. This wasn't trash talk; this was genuine insulting the character and by extension his fans just for the crime of being against their fave. If you're getting this het up about a silly tumblr poll, you probably need to take a step back from online activity. Take a walk around your block or bake some bread or take yourself out for lunch. Something to settle your feelings idk. Just step away and calm down it's not that big a deal.)

TL;DR: I am allowing friendly ribbing and trash talk, but keep it in good sportsmanship territory. Your shade should not extend beyond the pretend people you're throwing it at. Are we all clear? This is a silly tumblr poll, it doesn't need to get that serious.

[allastoredeer]

Okay, so, I was going to write this in the tags originally, but it was getting long, and from experience, if the tags go on too long it just cuts them off.

So, thoughts are going here I guess.

Firstly!

Me, genuinely confused: People think Alastor's bad ace representation because he's a serial killer???

What???? Excuse me?? 🤣

I don't know why I find that so funny, but I do. That's the silliest shit I've ever heard.

Heaven forbid aces do anything. 🙄

Secondly!

Your so right OP. Alastor is fantastic ace representation.

I agree with all the points you have above, but I'd also like to include one thing I especially love about Alastor's character and how it relates to his aceness is how fun and silly he is.

Murderous, manipulative, and immoral, for SURE.

But look at this man

He's the silliest. He's fun. He's aloof in the sense that we no fuck all about it him and his motives, but otherwise he's so openly goofy and (as one person put it) "girly pop" which is a term I personally love.

So often, you see ace characters written as stiff, unfeeling, unable to comprehend emotions, and unable to navigate certain social situations (which is why there's so many comparisons/"ace representation" in robots and/or nonorganics).

Yes, aces can be socially awkward, experience difficulty navigating certain situations, have a hard time wrapping their head around certain emotions/concepts, (for me, personally, its the whole concept about people getting "hot and bothered" when they see someone they find attractive. You mean to tell its a LITERAL thing. People actually get hot and bothered? That's not just a silly little phrase they use? Ya'll temperature actually be rising?? Fucking wild!)

However, all of the above? Literally EVERYONE experiences them. Anyone can be socially awkward, it can be difficult for anyone to navigate certain situations, and ANYONE can have a hard time wrapping their head around certain emotions and concepts (see allosexuals having a hard time wrapping their head around the idea that someone doesn't experience sexual or romantic attraction when its such a normal and natural thing for them - like how the opposite can be true for aces (let's all remember, though, asexuality IS a spectrum!)

Back to my previous point, Alastor doesn't come off as stiff, anti-social, robotic, or unfeeling in any way.

He's goofy, he's fun! He dances, he acts silly, he's dark, he's complex, has multiple platonic relationships, experiences a RANGE of emotions in the show. He's well-rounded and dynamic! He's funny and entertaining!

As an acearo, I have never felt more connected to a character! I love the relationships I have in my life, I'm a silly goofy person, I'm socially awkward at times, sure--who the fuck aint??--but I can navigate situations that make me uncomfortable. I feel so many emotions, and it's not hard for me to wrap my head around the concepts of love and sex, because really, they aren't that deep.

Human beings are complex and multi-faceted, and its that that gives concepts like these their depth.

Just because I don't feel sexual or romantic attraction doesn't mean I don't read nor write love stories. I've written smut, I've written long, plot heavy, emotion heavy, romance heavy, smutty fanfic exploring the dynamic of a ship I like. Just because I, myself, do not experience these things, doesn't mean I can't understand them.

I've never been shot by a gun before, but I know it fucking hurts. I know it'll leave trauma. I know it'll take a long time to heal. I know there will be physical therapy, medication, doctor visits, hurt, pain, and ups and downs all to along the way.

Being ace-aro doesn't mean you can't empathize, understand, or relate to what allosexuals feel and experience.

Alastor has made no implications at being uncomfortable with other people relationships or love. He doesn't know he's ace, sure, but the only time we've seen him uncomfortable with the idea of sex is in episode 1 when Angel suggested making a porno with him, and even then, he didn't seem necessarily uncomfortable, he just very firmly denounces the very suggestion ("Ha! Never going to happen.") There was also the moment in the pilot when Angel said he could suck his dick, in which we got the radio noise and him saying "No thank you!" I'd say that radio noise is the closest we've got him with displaying discomfort with sex.

He's never come off as being weirded out seeing other peoples romantic relationships (see Charlie and Vaggie). He's just...not interested. That's it.

Of course, I've seen fan art, headcanons, and fic of him being flustered and uncomfortable witnessing sexual situations (love them, always reblog), and I can totally see and understand that for his character, but as for the show itself, we haven't gotten a ton of evidence that he's viscerally uncomfortable with such things.

All of this is to say, Alastor is fantastic ace representation, he's a fun, intriguing, well-rounded, multi-faceted character who is truly entertaining to watch! He breaks all those sterotypes about aces being stiff, anti-social, unfeeling people who don't understand relationships.

Him being a serial killer is the silliest, stupidest reason to claim he's not good ace representation. Seriously, what are ya'll on?

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

I know that some aros/aces are kind of disappointed with Alastor as representation, what with him being an evil cannibalistic serial killer and all. However, I think that Alastor is not only non-problematic aroace representation, he’s actually GOOD rep. Here’s why:

1. Even if you consider Alastor a villain, there are a lot of character MORE villainous than him—often with their sexuality being part of their scumminess. For instance, Adam would be way less gross if he didn’t sexualize all the women around him, and Valentino wouldn’t be able to be nearly as harmful if he were less lustful.

2. In contrast, Alastor being aroace is portrayed *positively*, often actively humanizing him—something extremely refreshing. Rosie knowing Alastor’s sexuality when he’s unaware of it himself is a huge indicator of their friendship. Along with Alastor’s deer-in-the-headlights responses to Angel Dust’s flirting, it also shows that Alastor isn’t as all-knowing and put-together as he can seem. Plus, it’s clear that even if Alastor is manipulative towards Charlie, he’s not being predatory towards her like THAT.

3. Alastor also breaks several stereotypical aroace tropes in a way that’s nice to see. He’s not a loner. He’s very good at understanding people and navigating social interactions. He’s happy to take on a parental role. He puts his hand on people’s shoulders, gives hugs, and happily engages in partner dancing. I’ve seen some people write Alastor as being uncomfortable with physical contact, but TBH I’ve seen him give (and comfortably receive) more physical affection than most people I know.

4. Alastor lets us get the great ace version of the “Your daughter calls me daddy too,” joke. Which i think is WAY funnier than the allo version.

[vaguely-yandere]

Hi Chamomile! I wanted to say that I just LOVE ur blog and ur portrayal of yanderes. You don’t know how deflated I get when finding ONLY harmful yanderes in the tags. Ive always loved submissive yanderes and the like because they are SO CUTE!! U make them so LOVABLE AND CUTEEEEE!

Because u are my 1# favorite blog I wanted to share a yandere idea with u that I can’t stop thinking about:

Cowboy yanderes/southern yanderes. LIKE OH MY GAHHH😍 the southern accent, their polite manners (except for when they get rid of their rival and place their body all over the wide open fields they help maintain), the COURTINGGGG. I have this fantasy of like just a darling moving to a southern town because a. They are introverted as heck and don’t like the city and b. They want to live a quiet life by themselves (no family or friends). Just a cute darling that wants to live peacefully until…. The towns sweetheart falls in love with them. Good looks, lovely manners, church goer and helper to all! They are the total catch with suitors just hounding them down! It’s amazing to know that yandere stayed single for so long claiming to be waiting for the “right one” and while their MAY have been a potential suitor that was the best fit for yandere, yandere decided on the anti social newbie. Everyone BEWILDERED as to why yandere claimed this mess of a person as the love of their life, nobody can say it straight to their face tho(yandere SEETHES if anyone speaks I’ll of their darlin’) just this cutie following you around town, helping you carry your bags, opening every door for you, talking to the sales clerk if they have anything in the back if they don’t have it on shelves. I’m sorry I don’t know how to write as good as you do it buuuuuttt I hope I got you into it! Btw is it possible to be heart ❤️ anon? Thank uuuu!!

....... how did you know im southern ┬┴┬┴┤(-_├┬┴┬┴

but i can totally see cowboy yan being an absolute sweetie!! always gushing about you, always trying to help out around your house, inviting you to church or the bar, just so sweet!! and of course people are jealous but everyone knows not to mess with the sweet little cowboy who carries a knife around all the time, owns a few acres of land and is basically the town sheriff.. i mean, not unless you want all the aunties to shame you!!! and also end up tied up to a tree and left for the wild hogs to eat alive.

and theyre just so so nice, gardening for you, taking care of pests, teaching you about the local environment and such, scolding anyone who talks bad about you, basically teaching you how to be southern! you kinda struggle with it at first but with cowboys sweet nature and patience, you get the hang of it! and if you offer to help them with their chores, they might actually faint from happiness (and a bit of heatstroke)

speaking of heatstroke, i imagine youd struggle to adjust to the weather and end up wearing some less than conservative clothes and, well, there isnt anyone close enough to spy on you so why not just hang out in your backyard in barely anything? its hot, theres a nice breeze going, the sun is shining and if you end up falling asleep, no issue! it just gives cowboy yan the perfect opportunity to memorize how pretty you look, maybe try to secretly relieve some of the arousal they feel and get to church to confess how bad they feel, kneeling in front of the stained glass, sweaty with a hot face, hands clasped as they quietly admit their sin. no, not stalking you, silly! you were a gift to them from god! they just felt bad about touching themselves so close to your half naked form and giving into temptation! but they dont feel bad enough to stop themselves from doing it again and again and again!!!

eheheehe and i love imagining you putting their hat on, trying to be flirty and/or funny and just them trying so so hard not to combust as they try to explain what that means! so so cute!!

and gosh, i just love imagining this usually very tough looking, rugged yandere being absolutely whipped for you. fixing things around your house, taking you where ever you want, hell they'll even give you their jacket if you vaguely mention being chilly! and just imagining them getting on their knees in front of you, looking up at you with so much want... its hard not to give em what they want!

[titleknown]

Doing a pseudo-reblog of this fucking post because I don’t want to get in arguments over it or shove it into people’s faces, but like... I think we need to talk about the ugliness of the broader attitude in that comic (specific media referenced aside) because it keeps getting fucking spread in other posts by otherwise smart people and I hate it.

Rest of this after the break because it’s kind of ballooned into a wall of text.

Like... it is a common experience on the spectrum for people to earnestly gush about their special interests only to get shut down by a neurotypical in front of them because “that’s stupid,”

While the autism experience is diverse enough that it is difficult to categorize, that is A Thing I have seen people on the spectrum talk about time and time again, pretty damn common.

And that’s literally what that comic is doing, just on a wider scale and “funny,” Like, the setup is “the person is gushing about their interests” and the punchline is “the interest is stupid, I feel despair that this person likes such a stupid thing”

It is that exact fucking nightmare scenario for so many of us, but with the joke on the side of the Typical Neurotypical Viewer.

The core “joke” is literally "LOOK AT HOW STUPID THIS PERSON IS FOR BEING EARNEST ABOUT SOMETHING I FIND STUPID! DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU DESPAIR FOR THE STATE OF BEING SURROUNDED BY STUPID PEOPLE INTO STUPID THINGS?!"

But it’s funny. It’s innocuous. It’s silly. Which lets it spread despite the fact that what it’s saying is; in the end; kinda fucked up.

But, the OP said this in the tags:

But like... this is really two-faced, right? Like, they’re basically saying “I don’t mean to be mean" while also saying “reading critical depth into what you like is bad because the source material is stupid,” which is like...

...Well, firstly I thought y’all fucking hated “the curtains are just blue” and yet y’all are making fun of people for doing the opposite of that, and secondly, it’s doing the same “I don’t get why people like this, therefore it is stupid/worthless” shit that y’all accuse people of doing with Shakespeare and the classics.

And like... I see that attitude a lot. with regards to the big post-Gamergate/post-Infinity-War backlash against fandom as A Thing and the fact it’s becoming more common worries me.

Like, in the common talking point of “I’m sorry that you think Toni Morrison is less good than your fanfic of Goku fucking Charizard” or “Dante didn’t write fanfic because what he wrote was actually good” (paraphrased), I want to deconstruct the core assumptions I see behind it:

The named author and the anonymous fanfic writer reflects the idea that authors working in approved mediums are important, whereas authors working in the Wrong medium aren’t. The “Goku fucking Charizard” thing is based on the assumption that sexuality (And “weird” sexuality especially) debases a work.

The idea that Dante’s “not fanfic” because it’s good primarily serves to define fanfic as based around quality rather than the bullshit insane walls of copyright law (Which is actually what the “Dante is fanfic” talking point was about).

The way the sex fanfic and Toni Morrison are pointed at each other shows that while fanfic must use its worst works as representatives, published literary fiction must use its best.

I wonder what the sorts of people would say about the fact that a novel about a woman fucking a bear literally won Canada’s highest literary award. But I digress.

It is an ugly view that is ironically pretty anti-intelectual in and of itself, but from a different angle than their opposition.

It seeks to demolish a very specific intellectual view of the importance of democratizing art/audience because it views the public intellect and taste as stupid and not worth commenting on. Better to return to a walled garden than to let the mob dictate public taste (even if they’re not really in control).

And like, to speculate from what I’ve observed, I hypothesize that comes from a view that; since corporate monopoly over media via copyright and consolidation is basically invincible, the best we can do is on a “grassroots” level.

And their view of the “grassroots” is that the culture is infantilized, by people who for stupid selfish reasons like stupid baby garbage instead of “real” art and give it all their money, and that fandom is primarily an engine for the most devoted of these stupid baby garbage worshippers.

You will note that what they deem as ‘stupid baby garbage” tends to cross over heavily into the diagram of “things liked by autistic people.” They’ll deny this, while ignoring how much a lot of anti-autistic ableism isn’t directly targeted but inherently stochastic responses against a perceived abnormality.

Point is, they feel this abnormal element is a key driver of what they think must be excised from the culture, like a tumor. So the core idea is that if they bully enough people into shutting up about their garbage baby interests, that “imperial core” of people into Dumb Baby Bullshit will be starved and Real Art will reassert its rightful place.

Note that none of this is conspiratorial, it’s stochastic. It’s a bunch of people with the same general beliefs adopting the same shitty tactics by sheer force of carcination. And they don’t even have to adopt all of the beliefs to act in the interest of that view, just enough of them.

And I am begging y’all, please stop boosting and reblogging this shit in the name of countering the excesses of fandom. There are better ways and better critiques you could be making and supporting.

And for the love of god, people who are saying this shit, you’re not helping. You are not going to break up Disney or elevate the fucking culture by shaming autistic people.

Go work on trying to decrease copyright duration, or expand arts programs, or push for antitrust, or fucking something that’s not bullying people for being publicly earnest about what they like!

[dueling-jesters]

[THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION HAS BEEN DECLASSIFIED.]

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

🂡 Ace 🂱 23 🃁 ⚧They/Them, He/Him⚧🃑

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

Please read before you follow!

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・

I mainly post about:

Spy vs Spy

Spy x Spy

My Spy-persona, or Spysona as you will

Character Tags: Black spy, White Spy, Grey Spy

Fanart, headcanons, and ramblings about these silly little blorbos abound.

General Content Warning: Cartoon violence and antics, usually slapstick but may also feature blood and angst. Mild cartoonish gore may appear rarely, but nothing too graphic or realistic. All public accounts are SFW, but will occasionally be suggestive to a small extent.

If you need me to tag anything with specific content warnings, please send me an ask to let me know and I will list what to filter here!

I will occasionally post about things which are off-topic, as my accounts are semi-personal. Resources regarding current events and issues are sometimes reblogged as well.

▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭

⌧ Basic DNI criteria applies. Racism, sexism, misogyny, antisemitism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. are not welcome. Bigots, nazi/genocide apologists, pro-forced-birth/anti-abortion, pedo/zoo/necro, proship/anti-antis, and the like will be blocked. I'd prefer if NSFW-heavy accounts do not interact with my SFW accounts. If you fetishize marginalized peoples or are into rape, incest, and/or ageplay, do not interact with me. I block very generously.

If you're here to defend someone I've aired my grievences about in the past, go away. Some actions of theirs are inexcuseable and I want nothing to do with them. Please leave me alone about either circumstance.

I will not list my own specific personal triggers here due to the chance of that knowledge falling into the wrong hands.

I have every right to protect my internet safety, privacy, and mental health. This is non-negotiable. ⌧

▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭

FAQ:

May I share your SvS fanart?

Absolutely! I cannot control what you do, but I'd appreciate being credited if you happen to share. I would prefer you to ask first, but won't have a problem unless you do something egregious with it or if I am uncomfortable with where it is being shared.

Is there anywhere I can purchase something with any of your fanart printed on?

Unfortunately, no. Not only might that cause legal issues, but it wouldn't feel right for me personally to do so. Full answer can be read here.

Do you take commission?

Not under these accounts, sorry. If you have any ideas you'd like to send my way, please do so! However, I cannot guarantee I will respond to every ask.

Why did you make the spies gay and trans?

Because I'm gay, trans, and can do what I want. In all seriousness though, I've made a couple of posts about these headcanons at the very start of my blog, but I could've gone a lot more in-depth.

Why haven't you been active for [insert amount of time here]?

I tend to take breaks from social media due to stress and other mental health issues. I'm also autistic and have a chronic health condition, so there's always a chance I might not have the spoons to be active on here, make fanart, or immediately respond to direct messages. Other than that, I do have a personal and professional life completely separate from my SvS fan accounts.

Is there anywhere else I can find you?

Other than this blog, you can find me on twitter. (Or my private twitter, but I must warn that it is exclusively 18+.)

As mentioned before, I keep this completely separate from the rest of my life and work, so I will not disclose any of that information. Please don't ask if I'm [insert artist's online handle here] or ask any artist if they're Ace Dueling-Jesters. If any user claims to be me (other than, obviously me on my blog, public twitter, or private twitter), do not trust them.

What's up with those funky red glasses?

They're therapeutic lenses! I draw them slightly different from how mine are irl to protect my privacy.

What is your gender/sexual orientation?

I'm bigender, or more specifically, a transmasculine nonbinary person. Please refrain from asking which body parts I do or don't have. I'm gay and Trans4Trans, but also somewhere on the asexual/aromantic spectrum. It's complicated.

Why are your posts so long-winded?

It's the autism, babey! *finger guns*

[daffodilly-dally]

Alright so, unironically, I did enjoy the movie. To me it felt like a combination of The Killing of a Sacred Deer (not surprising, given Colin Farrel stars in both and they’re both directed by Yorgos Lanthimos) and The Platform, both of which I very much enjoyed on their own. Though I have no idea what genre this movie is actually *supposed* to be - I've seen it listed as an absurdist dark comedy, even as a romantic comedy, with the horror tag completely absent - I definitely wouldn't pitch it to anyone as something less than a horror film, no matter how funny it is.

And it is funny! But not in the traditional horror/comedy way, where the horror is constantly being undercut by something silly. Rather, the humor comes from the satire, and the stilted/awkward dialogue that was also a key feature in The Killing of a Sacred Deer.

As goofy as the premise sounds, personally I thought the dystopian world-building was incredibly entertaining. On his first day at the Hotel, our main character has one arm handcuffed to his belt behind his back to show him "how easy life is when there are two of something, rather than just one" for 24 hours, where we watch him struggle to brush his teeth, dress and undress, etc. Guests at the Hotel sit through short propaganda skits emphasizing the benefits of being partnered, such as a woman walking alone being sexually assaulted, but being able to pass unharmed if she is walking with a male partner (These are not graphic or disturbing in any real way - think old anti-drug videos with hammy actors that they show middle schoolers). In the city, individuals seen walking alone are stopped by police and questioned about the whereabouts of their partner, and asked to produce a marriage license for verification.

But of course, some people just don't wanna live that life, so in the Woods you have a collective of Radical Celibates(tm) called the Loners who take to the other extreme: anyone caught having romantic interactions of any kind is punished by mutilation, and each member is expected to dig their own grave in advance because it would be selfish to expect someone else to bury you.

As for the bit about being turned into animals... honestly, it's hilarious. Guests are asked what animal they would like to be turned into should they fail to find a partner, and it's presented as a "second chance" of sorts, a new life, a new chance to find a partner... for the small price of being completely stripped of your humanity. It's a dark concept, don't get me wrong, and that is very much explored. But when someone asks about the MC's border collie and he says "Oh, this is my brother Bob, he came through a few years ago but didn't make it," I cracked up.

All in all, it's weird, it's disturbing, and it's very funny. Literally no one else I know would like this but I had a fantastic time.

This is gonna be so great I can already tell.

[belltrigger]

I'm not trying to start drama and feel free to just delete this if you're uncomfy with posting/discussing it, but seeing su/bm@s fans witch hunting each other over who is and isn't secretly a blankshipper is. Really sad to me. Even for people who genuinely aren't shippers in secret or whatever, communities shouldn't be like that. Getting thrown out on your ass and ostracized for something that is a minor (if real at all) offense is insane. I hope that person finds a better friend/fan group because that shit sucks.

I am extremely sorry to hear of this happening, Anon. I had this ask in my box for a while, because I am not truly sure how to approach this topic. This is an issue in a fandom space I do not belong to, so I don't know that my opinion on it means much, nor do I know if this issue has resolved itself. But, since you asked, I feel you must want my input!

I will put my thoughts under a cut because there is some negativity in here. This is all also only my opinion. I am open to more discussion on this, but I would like to spare people who wish to avoid negativity in the tags. I hope you understand! (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

I want to apologize for the blunt answer here, but that group does not sound like a true "Submas" community. It sounds like an "Anti-Blankshipping" community. If you are not allowed to engage with the fandom as you wish outside of communication with them, then they are dictated by what they dislike, not what they like.

If they were truly a community for enjoying "Submas," it should not matter what you ship, what media you consume, nor how you consume it outside of their community. "Submas" does not mean "Ingo and Emmet, but not romantically." It means "Ingo and Emmet." Full stop. A section of the fandom cannot decide that they are discussing two characters the only correct way, and nor can they claim to own the tag for the characters.

From your ask, it sounds like they have already begun to self-destruct because policing people in this way is ridiculous, time consuming, and ultimately pointless. Coexisting with fans who ship things differently from you has long been a reasonable and accepted fandom norm. Attacking people because you *think* they ship something is just as weird as attacking them because you *know* they ship it.

As a side note, there has always been a faction of Submas fans who ship the twins. It is only recently that a minority of aggressive people have decided that Blankshippers are to be actively attacked and/or removed from the community.

As I have said before, it does not matter to me whether someone ships the Twins or not. I appreciate and welcome anyone who wishes to act properly in a fandom space! This means no hostility, scrolling past what you do not enjoy, and supporting each other's works and ideas! I love when people send me their headcanons, quick!fics, and questions, even on Anon!

Hopefully more people realize that having a mindset where "I don't even ship it, please don't exclude me" is not healthy, and start to leave that community on their own.

I'll end with this. Ship what you like. Ignore the ships you don't like. Throwing out a whole person over what they ship is silly.

Good luck Anon, and stay safe out there.

[dourpeep]

i have even more ideas now...

what about like the moment you open up about your relationship with kazuxiao the fans who were already seeing that happen were celebrating and on both of y'alls insta or something is where you announce and it's like a picture of all 3 of you chilling together or something

and then when they finally appear on a variety show they're just questioned throughly and they talk about how you guys meet and what they like about you

ok but the moments where you just feel sort of insecure since being an idol is hard and you're technically dating your seniors and you're just hit by the antis who are against yourself relationship so you lock yourself in your room in your dorm by yourself to cope. your roommate (can be whoever) contacts them both and they immediately come over and come in and offer soft kisses and soft murmurs of reassurance that they'll never leave you and that everything's gonna be ok.

side note i can see xiao just being a whole meme without realizing?? for like variety shows he's just known for his dead pan expression and then i can see him being so competitive on shows like running man..mans ripping tags left and right, while kazuhas just hiding in a weird spot or something

kazuha on the other hand i can see him being a troll, he likes to mess around with the hosts of the show and manages to mess up some of their plans, he also likes messing with his group members, where xiao likes to say that kazuha looks innocent but is a part of the devil line with venti

onto albedo i can see him like answering questions in his vlive and fans realize that a lot of his songs are more romantic and sort of pining?? and they're asking where the motivation is from. he answers that it's just something that he saw recently so he felt motivated (it wasn't the fact that he had realized that he was 100% in love with you)

but like all of this mans inspiration comes from you, he's had multiple songs dedicated to you before your relationship was even open to the public, and when your relationship finally does, it just clicks for fans and it suddenly makes sense, your ship name trends worldwide for the day

but how you and albedo met, i can see both of you guys being in the industry already and you guys are sort of know each other but it was for a one time off collab with other artists involved so you didn't really talk with each other. like i said before albedos a solo artist while i can see you being a part of a popular group already. but then both of your companies decided to do another collab and especially picked you two since you guys already worked on a collab before.

at first it was like awkward since albedos really socially awkward but then things click when you guys start writing the song together. everything just matches so well?? and you guys just compliment each other?? and that's when you learn of albedo just staying at the studio so late so you often bring food. this leads to you guys getting closer and albedo even stops his work just to talk to you more. when your song comes out and everyone is waiting for the stage, there's just so much tension?? but the good kinda and everyone is awed by the song and the vocals coming from you and albedo.

i can also see the both of you guys appearing on variety shows together too, like appearing on a show where you two travel to another place and experience the culture there, with albedo being your tour guide and showing you all the famous places (one of the many times where fans were awed by his research and knowledge) and then if you guys were to appear together again after you guys reveal your relationship, a lot of the times they show idols as they wake up, they'll see you and albedo being clingy af to each other.

on another side note, albedos totally a troll on variety shows, he likes messing around with the hosts and other contestants since a lot of the time he's not really interested in the show itself, it's more for publicity. however, when he first appeared on a show with you fans noticed that he actually seemed interested for once and that's where your ship name started.

albedos totally a golden child tho, he's like basically perfect in everything so a lot of the times variety shows don't catch him slipping, however the one time that he did was when you were mentioned, the clip of with his ears bright red was trending for a couple of days :)

GIVING ME SO MUCH GOOD FOOD THANK YOU ANON

I think that this covers everything hehehe so I won't add to-

wait wait I put it all under the cut b/c it's a lot again-

Okay okay but like for the 'announcement' picture, what if it's like those photo booth pics (but like each picture you need to scroll through like on Insta) where it's cute and wholesome! The three of you are having fun wearing some silly glasses or hats, doing peace signs or finger hearts....and the very last photo is the three of you sharing a kiss- or, at least trying to.

It's sweet, a little silly, and most of your fans take it really well! After all, they can see the chemistry that you share and can't deny that the three of you would have a good relationship.

As for the insecurities of dating your seniors, Kazuha and Xiao are quick to knock back any of those worries. They love you so, so much and hate the fact that something like that makes you doubt for a single second. If anyone ever tries to bring it up, you know that they're going to immediately quip back.

Naturally, you're roomed with Venven :D He's technically an up-and-coming after he stopped doing idol stuff for a few years, so not only does he know the ropes, but he's also one of your biggest fans and biggest supports (outside of Kazuha and Xiao).

Though he's silly and light-hearted, he's quick to recognize when things are serious and need handling.

So as soon as he sees that you're not doing so great or if he notices the comments on your posts are going in a bad direction, he speed dials Xiao and the two of your boyfriends are right at the door in under 15.

Not only are they fast about it, but they have all your favorite snacks, a movie or two, some popcorn, and a ton of love and affection because they'll be damned if their love is going to be affected by some asshole's comments about their love life! What do they know anyway??

Actually this all could work too if Kazuha and Xiao are part of 4NEMO-

Hmmm

That'd cause so much more ruckus- not only is half of one of the most popular idol groups are taken, but by the same person??? And each other??? Man, that's wack.

BUT THE GAMESHOWS

Xiao would most certainly be super intense with those. He just can't help it--competition drives his blood and makes something snap in him. He's dead serious about doing well, regardless of the game. I actually have never watched said game shows, but--

Like...he's out for blood. No one is safe. Not even you or Kazuha if you're on opposing teams, though he'll be a bit more gentle. Maybe even with the hint of a smile while you have an expression of utter shock at the fact that he's just so fast-

Or if it's not a game show and instead you're doing some sort of idol group activity with a few others to get to know each other?

Someone suggests ping pong and, knowing how competitive Xiao gets, he's pitted up against Tartaglia and man. That's scary. There's no doubt that someone would clip the video and make it into an overly-dramatic retelling complete with music.

Hilarious.

As for Kazuha! He'd be a bit of a mish mosh! He enjoys poking fun at others, and he's so sly! Those poor hosts don't realize that he's goading them on, but sure enough--he is. Who knew that his charming smile and mild-mannered attitude could be so devastating?

But even then, he's mostly wholesome! There's a lot of little clips, mostly of your doing, of him in a 'kiss the chef' apron getting caught off guard while cooking something up. The videos aren't great because you're giggling while recording and he ends up placing the ladle down calmly before wrapping you up in his arms. Half the video ends up being the two of you laughing and joking while it's pointed at a weird angle towards the counter.

Sometimes it'll point just right and you'll get a half-blurred view of Xiao sitting at the kitchen island with his reading glasses perched on his nose and book forgotten. He tends to get up and join in for a few smooches before reminding Kazuha of the food that's still cooking.

--

Albedo!! He absolutely is the golden child. He's fantastic handling things under pressure in a cool, calm manner. Handsome, charismatic, incredibly smart--man's hit all the stops and just keeps going.

It's not until it comes out that the two of you are together that his cool façade (hardly one, though) falters and at the mere mention of you, he'll go soft. There's a tenderness in his eyes, a small smile on his lips, and his blush? Absolutely adorable. How can anyone object when he's obviously so in love with you?

And the idea you mentioned with the two of you traveling and experiencing stuff together sounds so cute (':

He particularly enjoys exploring new cuisine, so expect him to feed you some food from his plate-

There's also a few times where you two have gotten lost in the new places, more because you're both so busy taking in the sights to realize you've taken five wrong turns- But then you make it into a whole adventure, foregoing the map and deciding to wander around. What better way to discover and learn about somewhere than getting lost and wandering?

You find quite a few hidden gems this way since otherwise you'd be hitting more popular areas!

Wait- do they really show idols waking up???

Ahh regardless, Albedo's definitely a cuddler. He loves it, can't get enough of it. It's not often that he gets a good night's rest, but with you it seems like he's fully recharged and ready for the day! It's cute too because it doesn't matter--big spoon or little spoon, you on his chest or him resting on yours. Even a few times with you facing each other with your hands intertwined.

I also agree that Albedo would mess with the game show's hosts and contestants. Not only would he, but he'd be entirely smug about it (after all, we need to have that #smugbedo going on).

No doubt, there's been times where the cameras even focus/zoom in on him where he's sitting because he's got that smirk on his face.

[marley-manson]

Anonymous asked: if you had to write a new episode for mash to fit in anywhere in the narrative, what would it be about?

Thanks again! I’m not a very creative person lol but this was a lot of fun!

So my pick would definitely be something in the first three seasons, focused on Trapper and Hawkeye, especially Trapper. To be vague and generalized it would feature Trapper heavily and Hawkeye supporting him, anti-military sentiment, and there’d be some kind of gay subtexty parallel between Trap and Hawk and another romantic relationship.

Okay I’m gonna throw out two ideas because I was brainstorming last night lol and I like both. One silly and fun, the other more dramatic and angsty.

Silly:

That occasional gag where Hawkeye and Trapper are framed as the counterpart couple to Frank and Margaret, writ large.

Both couples are fighting over something extremely petty. Let’s say a new surgeon is around. Margaret and Trap like him, Hawkeye and Frank hate him. Frank hates him bc Margaret instantly started flirting with him, and Hawkeye hates him because... idk, something dumb like they got off on the wrong foot and accidentally insulted each other, while he and Trapper had the opposite type of introduction and surgeon does something that makes Trapper think he’s really cool or whatever, idk, it’s cute sitcom stuff. This is too thin for a full plot so meanwhile Klinger gets a fun escape attempt subplot or something.

Frank and Margaret reconcile when Margaret discovers surgeon is already married. Hawk and Trap reconcile when Trapper has a minor crisis wrt a patient or a letter from home or something, nothing super important but enough to make him fret and for Hawkeye to immediately drop the silly feud to support him. Throughout the episode there are a bunch of funny parallels between the two couples and Hawkeye and Trapper are portrayed as the genuine relationship compared to Margaret and Frank’s shallow relationship of convenience. There’s also a funny scene of Trap and Margaret both hanging out with the surgeon and competing for his attention and Frank and Hawkeye bitching about it together before realizing they’re in agreement about something and abruptly leaving in separate directions.

It ends with Hawkeye gritting his teeth to try to make nice with the surgeon and the surgeon pissing him off again so Hawkeye’s like fuck it I’m out. Dude leaves in the tag bc this was only a temporary fill-in assignment or he just gets transferred again bc that’s how episodic sitcoms work who cares about realism.

Angsty:

So Trapper bonds with one of his patients. Patient tells him about his sweetheart back home, says his near death experience has proved to him what’s really important and he’s going to marry her when he gets discharged. Patient gets sent back to the front, where he gets shot again, and this time he doesn’t make it and dies during triage. Trapper finds a letter to his girlfriend in his pocket and tries to find her address so he can send it for him, but can’t. He knows the city she lives in bc dude mentions it in the letter, but that’s it. In the course of seaching he discovers that Patient is married to someone else and didn’t live in the same city as gf. Maybe to make it seem more romantic lol mention that his wife is like, the mayor’s daughter or something and gf is poor, w/e. Point is they know he was planning to leave his wife for her. Anyway Trap and Hawkeye bitterly talk about it and Hawkeye mentions how Patient might not have even had a chance to kiss her goodbye when he got drafted.

Hawkeye is there helping every step of the way, there’s a touching scene where Trapper is upset and Hawkeye is empathetic and comforting, all that good stuff.

Eventually when they have to give up on sending the letter Trapper crumples it and says something like it doesn’t matter anyway, the letter didn’t even say anything important that she wouldn’t have heard a million times before and anyway what’s the point when she can’t see him face to face? Or maybe Hawkeye says it to reassure him. We hear the letter read in voice over near the end and it’s just kind of light and sweet with nothing that sets it apart from any other generic war letter, but it mentions stuff like, ‘i could never make it through this without your support,’ ‘i can’t wait until we’re back together and i can tell you everything i feel in person’ and whatever other generic sweet sentiments can also neatly apply to Hawkeye and Trapper lol.

And of course this slots in near the end of season 3 and contextualizes Trapper’s departure in Welcome To Korea.

Also it’s written really well and somehow balanced out with humour so it fits the season tonally lol and doesn’t feel like a lost season 9 episode.

send me a topic + ☕️ emoji and i’ll tell my honest opinion about it!

[minisoc]

well this was a head in the sand response but I'll give you one more reply, in the same format

tankees are not real. tankey is what you call someone when you don't want to have to engage with their ideas, it's a projection of insecurity. you need to categorize me so you can dismiss me.

nobody has ever approached politics by merely opposing whatever the US is doing. this is a way of you telling me what my politics are so you can more easily defeat my arguments, aka a straw man argument. if you can simply tell me that I'm very silly in the way i think, you can feel superior and not worry about losing any argument or feeling embarrassed.

Ukraine is full of nazis. full of as in you can't visit any military position without finding many of them. not only azov. Ukraine's "bad policies" of ethnic cleansing are themselves evidence of Ukrainian nazism. the entire country is rabidly anti Russian and no, that is not excused by the war. it predates the war by two decades. they've put up statues to bandera and they declared him an official national hero. bandera worked with the nazis to perpetrate the Holocaust in Ukraine, making him a national hero makes Ukraine a nazi aligned state.

you again have identified all of Russia with putin and have replaced any Russian interests or analyses with putins opinions or whims. this is what western propaganda specializes in, creating an individual for you to hate as representation of western imperial policy. you really don't know anything about putin, and i myself know only a little more than that. we can't read minds.

it is nonsensical on the face of it too suggest that putin personally invaded Russia bc he wants to, and just as ridiculous to think he talked about Ukrainian nazism to placate western leftists, the least important bloc anywhere. once the invasion started, the Russians knew they had lost any chance at winning the PR war. Americans have gone nuts with supporting this proxy war.

the rhetoric about nazism in Ukraine was first of all true, but secondly it was aimed more at Russians to gain their support. they've heard about the ukrainian treatment of ethnic Russians since 2014, over 14,000 people have died in that conflict and it's been easy for people around the world to watch the rise of Ukrainian nazism, the statements made by Ukrainian leaders, and most importantly the reality of bombing and death. talking about fighting against this gains support from Russians who have been horrified this whole time. it wasn't for you or i at all.

of course Russia is not socialist or progressive, but you simply accepted what you were told about Russia's motivations. no, they have no interest in building a new Soviet Union or being an empire, these are emotions and states run on realities. there's plenty of documentation on why Russia invaded, I'll be happy to share some with you or you can view my Russia tag.

putin didn't only talk about Ukrainian nazism btw and if you're interested in how honest he's being personally i think you should start by reading his speeches directly and not reading summaries of them by western media.

I'll avoid being offended that you said I'm "blindly" reading any country propaganda, given that's what you're evidently doing. yes, Russian media will tend to portray things from a Russian perspective and therefore more favorable to their interests, but i don't merely do the opposite of you and read and believe Russian media. i read lots of media. but i also have the knowledge and connections to be able to judge these media as well. everything you've said so far can be found in western media so take your own criticism, here.

at the end you try to summarize mainly by insulting me and making an emotional appeal for why you shouldn't have to revisit your views. first you say Russia is "slaughtering" people in Ukraine, well, that's a very loaded word. Russians and ukrainians are both dying and so can't we also say ukrainians are "slaughtering" Russians? the fact is that many are dying on both sides and we've both already agreed the socialist position is to call for an end to war. then you say i either have to accept your position, which is basically the NATO position, or else I'm doing "mental gymnastics". well, that's just a way of saying you think I'm wrong but without explaining. it's a dismissal - your views are nuanced fact and mine are gymnastics. it's that same insecurity about your ideas. in fact i know this situation a lot better than you and I'm giving you feedback for free on what adult practicing socialists really think about the war in Ukraine.

Being both pro-Ukraine and pro-Israel are fundamentally incoherent positions, as is being both pro-Russia and pro-Palestine.

The conflicts aren't identical obviously, but why condemn one instance of violent encroachment onto a state/territory but not another?

What Russia is doing is imperialism, even if it's not western; and what Israel is doing is ethnonationalist Apartheid, even if the beneficiaries are a group that has been oppressed before.

[minisoc]

As requested, line by line breakdown of testoster2's anti communist rant about parties.

> idk which baby leftist needs to hear this

off to a great condescending start from someone whose only left credit is claiming to be on the left on their Tumblr

> but joining a socialist party will be a waste of your time.

I couldn't imagine a more cop opinion to start us off with. i see things like this and i think: whose interests does this serve? "oh no baby leftists, don't join a party" just brings to mind this image

> you'll probably have to pay a monthly due

that's true. every communist party in history has taken dues from members. it's typically scaled to what you can manage though and it's part of the collective effort of the party organization to make social change. my dues sent comrades to Venezuela and Cuba to learn from socialists there, they produced our programs for free lunches, it built our community centers. i have no regrets about paying my dues, i pay dues to my union as well.

> that goes to like. flyers no one reads

projection. sounds now like op is defending their own lack of action with a lack of belief in the possibility of change. in my experience people do read things and even change their minds after reading things. if people were not able to be affected by the written word then propagandists on all sides would be in a tough situation.

> that you yourself will have to give to people

oh no, you mean joining a party means you might have to do outreach and talk to people? can see why it's not for op, then.

> (this in case the money doesn't go straight in the party leader's pocket).

op has never seen this but says it like it's a fact. it would be pretty easy to find out if your party leadership is embezzling and your party should be structured in a way that you know they'd be thrown out if they betrayed everyone like this. i have that confidence in my party, at least.

this is also very reminiscent about how anti communists engage with propaganda. they feel comfortable making claims of any kind whether supported or not. anyway, this is another obvious cop opinion.

> you'll waste time writing papers and reports and shit, it'll feel like having a second job.

not explained is why writing is a waste of time. i think writing for a party is almost always a useful activity, whether you're making plans for a new action or campaign or producing new agitational materials or analysing the results of previous work so you can improve on it.

it is a job, though. being a communist does mean doing work, society won't change by sitting at home and attacking communist parties on Tumblr. the lifelong sacrifices made by hard working communists are why we have seen so many socialist victories in the last century.

> the most exciting events will be lib shit like elections

this again can only be projection. the most exciting times for me have been in some of the countries largest protest actions, organizing campaigns to free political prisoners, providing at risk communities with basic needs and engaging with them, building new unions, etc. etc

> or peaceful protests that the party would still organize w/o you as a member

here's the key issue with op i think. they want to be vital to the revolution. they don't want to think that they're only one of many people all working together. yes it's true the party will continue without you, especially a wannabe cop like you. but it doesn't mean party work is useless, it just means you are useless as an individual.

> (showing up at a protest w/o having a party affiliation gives you more freedom

freedom to do what, i do wonder? being afraid of party work bc it doesn't let you do whatever you want is kinda silly, if you don't want anyone to ever tell you what to do then yeah don't join a party. if you want to make change in the world then do.

> + makes you a bit less arrestable - as opposed to if a cop saw you carrying a name tag w the hammer and sickle on it. just fyi)

this again appears to have been just made up by op. I've never been arrested for wearing a pin or a party tshirt. i don't know a single person who has. and I've known plenty of people without any markings get arrested.

> all this w/o even mentioning how (depending on your luck) there could be a lot of infighting, splits, sometimes purges

well yes it sounds like there would be a lot of drama wherever op goes but it doesn't seem to be the case generally. my party did form in a split, but over 15 years ago. i don't see any reason to worry that it would happen again any time soon. we don't infight at all, sorta the concept of the party is people who want to work effectively together.

another bit of funny evidence that op is anti communist is the inclusion of the word purges, lol. purge means expulsion from party, ooh very sinister.

> all in all, joining a socialist party is a very, Very ineffective way of building communism lmao

well first it's simply a truth that no socialist country was ever built without a communist party. not one.

but also, did any of ops points have anything to do with effectiveness? all i gathered is they're pushing an individualistic, don't tell me what to do outlook. and the condescension about protests and flyering suggest they want something more adventurist, possibly involving violence. remember the fbi and police always instigate when they infiltrate groups. they always push for criminal actions and violence.

> i'd instead recommend you talk to your neighbours abt their lives, and see how you can help each other.

hey, guess what a party does! do you think our new tenants unions and unemployed councils could come into being without talking to neighbors? do you think our new unions could come into being without discussing the way we could help each other?

> if you live in like a very rich neighbourhood or something, instead of joining a socialist party

well isn't this an interesting premise. i wonder what it says about op that they want to emphasize what the well off should do.

> it'd be way more effective if you joined a liberal/conservative party and then fucked their shit up as much as possible

sure, just see every other attempt in history at wrecking or entryism with the Democratic party. i encourage you to look into it

> if ur only goal is meeting other leftists, only go to the first 2 or 3 party meetings, by then you'll know the scene and you'd have already befriended the interesting people. that;s my advice at least

this piece of advice is generally good. in fact before applying to join any party if at all possible i encourage you to meet with the members local to you, see how they work, see what you think of their ideas and what they're doing. if they're not active in your community, ask why not. there's nothing requiring you to join if it isn't for you. but if you want to make change in this country, learning how to do it from those with experience is best. and working together in an organization that can effectively chart a path forward is the only option there is. every communist revolution was built with the leadership of the communist party.

[sunriseseance]

please,,, even if you dont answer this publicly i wanna know your In Depth Thoughts on fanon klaus and the issues w him bc i also have issues w fanon klaus but i cant put it in words

This got SO LONG, so I hope you meant it when you said you wanted in depth! Holy shit I sorta lost my mind on this.

In my early days as a bear-poker in this fandom, I described fanon!Klaus as that person who gets resurrected in a horror movie and comes back different. As an audience member, I can tell he's wrong, but nobody interacting with him directly seems to know this. I've also talked a little bit about Klaus and intelligence before, which plays into any discussion about fanon!Klaus, but I'll be more specific here. Before I get started, I wanna say that fandom is a fun space and I don't think anyone is *bad* for creating/enjoying fanon!Klaus, especially not for the third reason I lay out. I just think he's awful, and has some harmful roots that I doubt the people writing him even know about on a conscious level.

Okay, let's get into this. Because I'm me and Wittgenstein's early work that he later disagreed with has changed my entire way of interacting with the world, I'm gonna define my terms. Let's talk about what fanon!Klaus is LIKE before we talk about why I REALLY DON'T LIKE HIM. Fanon!Klaus is a happy, stupid, sweet, childish, bubbly, luminous free spirit. He wears bubblegum pink skirts and he cries when Diego eats his cookies. He doesn't know what numbers are, he can't count, he can't walk and chew gum, he thinks that Africa is a country, he forgets that homophobia exists, he doesn't know that drugs are bad for him, the list goes on (These are all real examples. Can you tell what part of fanon annoys me the most?). He cries at the drop of a hat, and doesn't understand his place in the family. He'd move heaven and earth to help the people around him, and he'd never be mean to anyone but Luther (and even then just barely) He constantly needs attention, supervision, etc. He makes jokes about modern memes and listens exclusively to pop music. He's really damaged but it's only because nobody Took Care Of Him and he needs someone to Rescue Him.

Canon Klaus is mean, and quick, and sharp, and miserable, and hiding, and funny because you're laughing WITH him, and an old soul, and a goth, and chronically apathetic, and selfish, and so fucking smart, and acutely aware of just how much he matters to other people. He makes rape jokes, he figures out how to get info on the eye while high out of his mind, he speaks like 10 languages, he listens to Nina Simone, he uses people's inherent fear of the dead to buy himself time, he finds the perfect story within the dead to cause a rift, he tells Luther TO HIS FACE that he doesn't care if the world ends. Klaus is a fascinating study in queer trauma, and robbing him of these traits is a complete disservice to yourself AND the character.

I say this often about fanon!Klaus, but WHO IS THIS??? Like…. Okay, if I gave you this list and you didn't know it was about Klaus, would you think it was? I think he's literally unrecognizable. He's not any of the things I know or love about Klaus. He's nobody to me, except a nuisance wearing the same skin suit and clogging the tags. He is also, weirdly, the most popular character in the entire fandom. I wanna think about why, and I have 3 theories that I think can all be true separately or simultaneously instance to instance.

First, fanon!Klaus exists because of internalized homophobia, classism, and anti-addict rhetoric. I think that on some level people don't believe addicts, feminine queer men, or homeless people are capable of intelligence. I think people see Klaus's canonical positive traits and they sort of throw them out the window because they don't make sense with their world view. A queer addict is a helpless tragedy, and he's someone that needs rescuing by Kind Strong Dave. A queer addict can't be smart, because then he wouldn't be an addict. A queer addict can't be wily, or interesting, because then he wouldn't be an addict. Fandom sees a feminine queer mlm and knows he should be in a sparkly bubblegum pink skirt, and saying "dahling" or "wig" or whatever else all the time. They know he should be bashful and submissive and always falling into the arms of Kind Strong Dave who protects him from Evil. They also know he should really, really like Britney Spears, and not give a shit about Nina Simone.

Second, fanon!Klaus exists because people want to excuse negative behavior in their favorite characters. Klaus is selfish and mean and apathetic. He just is. These are flaws that haunt him, and define a lot of his interactions. These are, also, pretty tough flaws to excuse (which… Hey…. I have a solution for that). I think that fanon Klaus, who just doesn't GET that he's being mean, and is too stupid not to become an addict (I don't think addiction is a flaw, but I do think that addiction plays into this), and is too out of touch and childish to understand that he shouldn't just fucking leave, comes from a place of wanting Klaus to be a good person who does good things. I'm sorry, but he isn't. Not always. I think the impulse to make him constantly sweet and constantly stupid comes from wanting Klaus's actions to be fundamentally excusable. He can't help it! He's just too much of a useless twink to know that it's bad to lie! (also, side note, fanon!Ben comes from this side of fanon!Klaus. In canon, Klaus is self destructing on purpose and Ben's presence helps…. Maybe, possibly, twice. In fanon, Klaus is just stupid and he needs a babysitter and that is Ben, the motiveless, endlessly loving but Exhausted braincell holder. This is fucked up on many levels. Ben is an asshole, and we all need to get used to that idea quick).

The third and final reason is that fanon!Klaus is… More fun, in the traditional sense of the word. Fanon!Klaus seems like he comes from a very emotional romcom or sitcom or something. He's like a barbie. He's fun to play dress-up with. He's fun to make incorrect quotes about. He's fun to write about, especially when it's about his siblings herding him or coddling him. Good ol' useless, loveable Klaus. I think this is partially because Klaus is a pretty fucking heavy character. He's a traumatized homeless queer drug addict, and that's sort of hard to make jokey fandom content about. Not impossible, I don't think, but not easy. This isn't to say that angsty fandom content isn't guilty of fanon!Klaus, though. It absolutely is. Often when Klaus willingly shares his feelings, or cries in front of someone, or asks for help for something more intense than tying him to a chair, it's fanon!Klaus. Hell, any time he GETS rescued it's teetering into that territory. He's still completely devoid of all of the grit and intrigue of canon, but he's fun to write about, and fun to project onto, and fun to rescue. He's also EASIER to write. People know that Klaus is a funny character, they know they laugh when he's on screen, but it is WAY harder to write a character you're laughing with than it is to write a character you're laughing at. It's WAY easier to write a character who moves your angst plot on by asking for help, or necessitating rescuing, than it is to work out how these things would happen without initiation. I get it, and in spite of the length of this, I don't think it's the end of the world.

I guess as I close this out, I would remind everyone that Klaus is smart, and mean, and over 30 years old. He's not a babe in the woods, or a damsel in distress, or a useless silly junkie twink. I promise that the real Klaus is worth the time and effort it takes to engage with him.