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zeeckz · 8 months ago

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tell me more abt kazeva thoughts 👀

Oh, is my kazeva propaganda already working?

First of all, I will definitely end up rambling, so this will get long enough

I'm sure it's gonna turn out messy as well (sorry), but I'm gonna divide it into younger kazeva & then older kazeva (aka Master Miller & Big Mama)

Kazuhira Miller and EVA

Although I didn't really contextualize how they end up together and such, I think it might've been EVA visiting BB while they're in Costa Rica - Kaz happens to see her and, well, you know how he is; she caught his interest and now it's his mission to make out with her

100% sure he is absolutely devastatingly dying to fuck her, might even say more so than how badly he wants to fuck Cécile (EVA is more bold, so she presses buttons Cécile wouldn't or would take longer to do so; plus Cécile is sooo easy to tease/annoy, EVA not so much)

Whether they previously had Intel about each other (or just one of them, most likely EVA about Kaz, I think) or not is just as funny to me; even if either of them knows, they'll pretend they don't

If they know - they're not only trying to flirt, they're also trying to demonstrate which one of them is better at it; whoever falls for the other first, loses. There's A Lot of compromising situations. Also Kaz sure loves risking his life by chasing his boss' sexfriend, don't you think. If the sauna tape was bad enough, he gets caught doing this...

If they don't know - they're flirting with just a certain amount of caution, more secretly, in an more sutble manner, slowly learning more about each other as they take their chances with one vague suggestion or another "accidental" touching (Kaz is going crazy because she knows how to keep things slow and he wants it as quick as possible)

If EVA already knows about Kaz - she's just as bold as she needs to, enjoying every little moment of caution and doubt she can sense from Kaz after a suggestive pose or invitation and making sure to put him in more compromised situations as his patience runs out and his libido goes higher

If it's only Kaz who knows about her - again, he's basically chasing his boss' sexfriend, so he needs to be really careful with his actions; she's wondering why there's some blond guy who seems to have more than enough work to do (must've heard someone refer to his rank), just walking by her side, showing her all the "secret" corners of Mother Base; she'd eventually hear some gossip about his high libido and start teasing him for fun, she's interested to see how far he'll go given how straightforward he can be after certain actions

Regardless of this, she Will try to get him caught by Big Boss just to see what happens; thus, Kaz still needs to be particularly careful with what, how and where he does things, specially if he already knows who EVA is and what her past with his boss is

It might be obvious because we're talking about Kaz, but he definitely has dirty thoughts more often than not and they get dirtier, and harder to ignore, the closer they become

EVA seems to have a toned body and there's no denying she knows what to do to get what she wants; I think Kaz would praise her appearance more often than to other women because of it, as in, he admires not just her body but also her ability to carry other people's thoughts with it

They, as a couple, cuntify each other more (not trying to over-cuntify each other, they're only enhancing each other with their natural cuntiness)

I feel Kaz would be particularly more passionate with her in bed than he is with other women, the same way he would with Big Boss amongst other men

Kaz seems to be the type to make gifts to get a woman's attention, EVA would try to take advantage of that just to take some profit while they're at it, but Kaz is aware of this (you can only fool him to an extent, he notices more things that you'd consider)

Regarding that, it's only natural a man like him would pay attention to the smallest things; it's surprising for EVA (I mean... Big Boss is definitely the exact opposite of attentive in this kind of matter) and she's a bit wary, but can't deny she likes it

As infatuated as he might be with EVA, he'd still hook up with anyone during their, uh. Mating rituals

Likewise, she'd notice his special interest towards Big Boss pretty quick as she did with Ocelot back then, so she'd intentionally be really touchy and affectionate with him in front of Kaz

Also, you gave me the perfect occasion to highlight this beautiful tag

I've been thinking about it since I got it, so I might as well have it on a better display

This is kazeva. This ship is about Kaz's horniness breaking its cage and him trying not to die in the process, either by causing himself a heart attack (either by himself or by fucking people / Eva further past exhaustion) or by being beaten up by his boss. Like, c'mon, he could barely keep his temper with Big Boss only wearing regular underwear, imagine what EVA's cold-calculated cuntiness would do to that man. If that alone isn't convincing enough, I don't know what is.

He's also constantly fantasizing about making out with both of them at the same time btw.

Now,

Master Miller and Big Mama

See, these two are The Bisexual Swingers Couple™©®. Just. Look at them. There's no way they don't give off that vibe.

Of course, they both ride big motorbikes, wear leather jackets (probably a whole leather outfit tbh), heavy boots and matching helmets

I think they'd be on the move pretty often, and would stay in rather small, isolated places (like a little cabin on the woods, or a somewhat shady place, it's not like they, of all people, would be robbed anyway; probably already scared the shady people) instead of popular guesthouses/hotels and such; they like being alone together

Not strictly kazeva I guess, but I think they'd always send little gifts and pretty postcards (with a few words written in the back) to David and company, from all of the places they've been in

This one is entirely new, but I can imagine them passing by any animal shelter, stopping by to say hi to ALL of the animals there, and then anonymously leaving a quite surprisingly big donation before moving on

They are Definitely that couple that's been staring at you from across the bar, buy you a drink and later invite you to have a threesome

They get everyone's attention anywhere they go, not just because of their outfits, but also how really good-looking they are (again, they're cuntifying each other and I've seen more than enough drooled floors when it comes to Master Miller, it's about time people do the same with Big Mama and this is the perfect chance to do so)

They likely get everything they want - they're attractive, imposing, have more than enough experiences under their belts, and have the best of social skills. How can you deny them anything. How.

^This was only meant for you to see my vision, but.

Have you seen her glasses? Close enough to Kaz's vibe. They're definitely matching outfits, whether that's only with accessories or the whole outfit depends on the day, but they WILL match one way or another

They definitely caress each other's hair. They pet it, they play with it, they tie it, they braid it. I bet their hair is the silkiest thing ever.

I can see them borrowing each other's clothes - again, she seems quite toned, with shoulders wide enough to look good wearing Kaz's clothing even if they don't perfectly fit her size (oversized fashion is pretty nice anyway); as for him, I think he'd be more limited due to size difference, but he'd manage to take the most out of his possibilities

C'mon just ship them already

#they're both pretty “fuck around and find out” type of person #I spent hours writing this. what the hell #anyway I hope it was at least entertaining #ask #txt #kazeva #god they should've kept this hairstyle for her........ it suits her more than the final one........#the suit too tbh im sorry big mama you slay but you could've slayed more #kazuhira miller #eva #big mama

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yinyuedijun · 6 months ago

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hi mao! ok so… i’m afraid i’m still too horny and in love with this fic. what if i just say that i don’t know what else i can say about your writing — speechless because i’m in awe. (in ave—)

i honestly have never read omegaverse fic before, knowing only the basics, mostly from memes lol so it was really interesting to get in detail into your take on their biology and how nicely you entwined it with existing hsr lore. morphing known issues to match the omegaverse world. i especially liked when you mentioned cutting the other scent gland from the necks, because wow, it’s so barbaric, but makes so much sense to describe it. i’m a big fan of how you organise the story around the main characters — like i’m reading news or just following canon events, because everything just fits so well that i’m not even questioning if you came up with all these names by yourself or if they were mentioned somewhere in the game. there are just things that must happen (arriving at the desert planet) no matter what, and we’re following the narrative, but oh! suddenly something unexpected happens (the heat) and what now?!

i’m also surprised because this fic wasn’t deranged at all? or i’m just clueless lol sure, the setting wasn’t cotton candy sweet at all, but the story itself was rather soft and slow, and loving. i love love love the reader there — they’re so respectful and understanding, and how they view aventurine is so special. they seem so pure despite all the awful things they have gone through. i just can’t wait to read how their relationship develops.

i feel like aventurine is slightly different here. but i enjoy it! i guess it’s because in this fic he’s forced into a vulnerability he cannot control — something that probably didn’t happen to his canon version. so he’s more… pathetic? it adds the edge because the risk seems even greater, and i completely understand the reader to worry about his luck and confidence when his heats are still the biggest threat. their dynamic is so interesting. that aventurine, despite being an omega, has the reader wrapped around his finger because they’re so down bad for him. their instinct turned into love :(

and i was supposed to say nothing yet i yapped. i thought i wouldn’t have the attention span or the strength to read through this entire fic in one sitting, but i got so invested!!! like i was watching a tv show, not reading!!! thank you for the amazing fic, mao 🙇

manu beloved I had a feeling that anon was u !!!! 🫶 thank you for reading this despite not having ever read an omegaverse fic before (???!? U REALLY TOOK A LEAP OF FAITH FOR ME LOLL this is not standard omegaverse whatsoever 😭😭😭). I'm so glad you enjoyed it and feel so strongly abt my writing!!! and I'm especially happy that you felt that I did a good job w integrating the omegaverse into the hsr universe... I do have an affection for world-building so I'm glad to hear that I did a good job with it here :')

I had to laugh when you said that it was surprising that the fic wasn't deranged at all 💀💀💀 I see I have a reputation built up for myself /j tho I do regret to inform you that it will probably get worse in ch2... perhaps not deranged but definitely some very sad backstory details coming up lol...

on a more serious note, I'm glad that the fic was tonally soft and slow and loving!! because yes there is extreme tragedy going on in terms of the actual events, but soft and slow and loving is more or less how the mc feels abt aventurine 🥺 so I'm glad that came thru in the narration!!!

and YESSS its funny that you mention aventurine feeling different because he's an omega 😭 I thought omegaverse was a good genre for him because it forces him to vulnerable in a way that he never would be in canon, but LOL it did make him feel. extremely ooc to me at some points. like where's my cunty emotionally repressed man, who is this soggy pathetic bastard who is too wretched to do anything but suffer alone in bed. it was rlly making me hate the fic for a while 💔 so I'm glad it's something that you actually liked about the story!!!

thank you SO SO MUCH again for reading my fic manu and sending me such kind words ♥️♥️♥️ I am sending u so much love !!!!! BIG KISS FOR U

#yueshuo.asks #asks.manu #💓💓💓#yueshuo.feedback

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berryunho · 2 years ago

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Lauren I literally passed tf out, woke up, made coffee and read while I smoked (not drugs this time :), took a pause to drive to work AN HOUR EARLY just so I had time to read In the parking lot. Like I'm so glad my co workers didn't walk out to my car cause I was going through it😭✋ I don't want sannie dead tho😢 big meanie hongjoong.

(to interrupt your regular program of Julie going through some emo shit to gush over your writing skills)

Also I absolutely love the way you wrote seonghwa. Idk how to explain it (he has his penguin hair in my mind in this fic let me be delusional 😭) but he just radiates so much gender- like he's mysterious, dark and twisted, but also cunty and elegant. Like even the way he speaks.

"Im going to give you unsolicited relationship advice" like I know it describes him as like leaning to the side of the chair. But I know he just /leaned/ into it, hands slightly folded over and feet kicked to the side and his ankles crossing as he stares at mc with a cocky grin on his face. Like idk how you wrote someone so masculine and delicate at the same time but I'm absolutely LIVING for it 🥺

(back to regular program. Yes I know it's long we're almost done😭)

Im going to bed now and I have tomorrow off so lots of slumber😴 And I'm giggling n shit (influence of 🌿 maybe?) Cause I saw a meme saying

"I'd get that man pregnant if I could' and thought Abt seonghwa to hongjoong.😂

KLAJDFAKLSJDF im flattered fr the fact that you drove to work early ... my god i could never LOL but .... oh my god bestie .... thank you sm KLAJSDFKSJDA you perfectly get my vision 😭AAAAA im glad you've gotten the vibe bc i Try LOLLKDSJFKD but that meme 😭😭 jkasdflasdkjf i hope you're well :]]

#mirror juliet #answered #feedback

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xo-dailypier-blog · 5 years ago

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this is not a recap;

hey cumguzzlers,

It has come to my attention that Lady X took it upon herself to rate the nether regions of the men of Santa Monica. Unfortunately her assessment was BIASED and hardly based on facts. So as a JOURNALIST, I have taken it upon myself to get to the TRUTH. Today will be a Top 9 list of the men in this town, and their BEDROOM PERFORMANCES.

I’m not revealing actual sizes, because I firmly believe that it’s all about the motion of the ocean. And if you think I’m giving a run down on every SCRUB in this town, you’re out of your mind! I WISH I could have made this a Top 10 but most of the guys on Lady X’s assessment, have already been exposed in the fuck hut tapes during Summer Crush, and honestly? Don’t even make the cut for the top 5. Like, we KNOW the #DemonDick is low-key worth the hype (BUT YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM IT BECAUSE HELLO? IT RUINED TWO RELATIONSHIPS IN LIKE THE SPAN OF A DAY! AND IM SURE THE BUCK DOESNT STOP THERE!), and we GET IT, Adam has a massive ROD, and I’m sure (Power Top) Asher, his brother, isn’t that far off. Vic IS well endowed AND can make things EROTIC. And we all know about Jack, who is also well endowed but has, like, erectile dysfunction or whatever. Oh, and don’t forget Daddy Sorrentino is obvs a beast in the sheets, but I’ve been telling you guys that since, like, ever. And I’m honestly on a Jamie/Cunty Sabbatical atm, they’re going through a difficult time after Cunty cheated, so who really needs their dick-info broadcasted on top of all that, ya know? (Cunty deff comes in at an alleged 9 inches, which is bigger than Jamie, BUT he (Cunty) never uses his junk on Jamie because, like Asher, Jamie is a Power Top. (but you didn’t hear this from me). Look, if any guy is left off the list that you have interest in, like, just ask Phobe. I’m sure she’ll know.

But before we get started, Congratulations are in order! You guys voted on Hottie of the Moment, and we have a winner!

It’s none other than Miss Fraudi Zirconium herself (@heidistarks) The queen of bargains has stormed onto the scene in her Wild Fable Couture and has CAPTIVATED the hearts of all Santa Monicans. In honor of her win, I am giving everyone a $25 gift card to Claire’s! If you go to their website and use offer code SharkThot, you too, can get the Heidi Look. When asked about her recent accomplishment she had this to say:

"It's about fucking time." - Fraudi Zirconium Stark, 2019

Congratulations, again Fraudi! You go girl, work that Forever 21 tracksuit, bitch!

NINE - ALEC CLARKE @alecxclarke

One of the wangs in question that Lady X TOUCHED ON was Alec Clarke. She mentioned that Alec was more than likely LACKING in the his SOUTHERN MEAT DEPARTMENT. So obvs i had a BONE to pick with this assessment because Alec’s fan base is GETTING UP there with Jamie Carter’s so we have to know what he got in them jeans. Sadly ... while his junk is fine. His way around the bedroom is is abysmal, I honestly thought it was a PHALL-ACY but one girl who is one of his past flings, wrote to me after seeing Lady X’s post. She has asked to remain anonymous...

Hey DP (and Lady X),

I saw your post about Alec and you’re wrong about his size. He’s actually pretty girthy and lengthy or whatever. But he is honestly one of my worst encounters. We met on a dating app, that shall remain nameless. So fast forward to sexy time, and once we started making out it was a tragedy! No tongue, no passion. It was like kissing a mcfucking corpse! His lips were like, so dry, but, whatever, that’s not the problem. Once I started giving him a blow jay he just randomly burst into tears, and said he couldn’t do it anymore, and asked if I wanted to play fucking Yahtzee. I left and bought Listerine. I think you should look into if he is like this with all the girls, instead of his size. Bc that’s the real tea. Anyways, Love the Blog! Kisses!

Its always such a disappointment when this happens. OBVIOUSLY our HoneyBun Alec has some issues to work on. I know he has a Crazy life but I didn’t think things were this HARD for him.

Overall Rating: N/A

Favorite Position: Again, N/A. I could hardly find girls who’ve had sex with him ................. INCHresting. (Ok, that was the last one).

Downside: I mean, Hello? He breaks out in tears mid-coitus! He IS the downside!

Alec! Write into us with your side of the story! I prom (half a promise) that I won’t believe the rumors. Love ya, Honey Bun!

EIGHT - SKYLER DAVIS @skylerxdavis

No idea where Lady X got the idea that he had the biggest LOVE MISSLE in town, but it is absolutely FALSE. And in fact, what I’ve heard about his performance in the bedzzzZzZzZzzzzzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzZzZzzzz ZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Overall Rating: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Favorite Position: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Downside: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Alleged Body Count: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

SEVEN - NOAH SINCLAIR @nhsinclair

So next on the list is Noah Sinclair. This one will be brief, because it really threw me for a loop. So I’m sorry to report, that Noah has a Chode. I know. I’m actually crying while typing this but this is only the word on the street, so take it with a grain of salt.

“Darla” (fake name) wrote in to my blog to refute Lady X’s claims. She writes:

I’ve had half way sex with Noah one time and when he dropped his pants I literally laughed. Not to body shame or whatever, but I, like, couldn’t have sex with him because the condom didn’t fit. Sorry, didn’t have a Trojan Jr readily available? He’s good with his hands though.

So Noah has made the list in a sad and unfortunate entry. So ladies if you want Noah to DIP his NUGGET in YOUR sauce, you better make your move!

Maybe this is why he got that divorce. Ugh, poor Natasha. Let’s hope this is all a rumor, I would hate for it to be true.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (The hand thing is kind of important).

Favorite Position: Noah’s Nugget Number (No clue what this means, ask Diana or Natasha).

Downside: There is no downside if you, like myself, are privy to a good Nugget or two. #RanchPlease

MOVING ON!

SIX - LOGAN LANCASTER @loganlancaster

Our next entry is none other than Long Dick Logan Lancaster. According to Lady X, Logan is average. Well I’m here to let you know that, thankfully, LDL lives up to his name (no nuggets here!). But you guys would have to get with him to truly find out how #blessed he is.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: Alligator Fuckhouse, according to sources. (DON’T Google it, live in ignorance).

Downside: The only reason, ya boi has gotten 4 stars instead of 5 is because of the rumors surrounding his hygiene. As we know, there’s been a debate on the internet about washing your legs. And Logan, an able bodied man, doesn’t do that. Nor does he take showers the way that he should. Many girls who’ve been with him have complained of smelling the stinch of onions and mildew while ENGAGING with him. Others have complained of a SALTY taste while going down on him. Most of the girls he’s BANGED have all been in the junkyard of his Auto Shop or whatever so maybe it’s a fetish for them? That’s no excuse for bringing that nasty ass behavior to every other girl in Santa Monica.

Thankfully a bunch of you have been sending body wash to his shop, so maybe we can LanCAST the mustiness away (If this is true).

Logan, please write in, I need to know the truth. But other than that, the dick is BOMB! But make sure you don’t over-do it on B.J. part though, sodium intake is v important and you wouldn’t want to get hypertension suckling on his salty ass COCK.

FIVE - EMRE YOGIOH @emre--yavuz

Ok, so next on the list is Emre Yugoslavia (or whatever his name is). Ok so ... buckle in ladies.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: The Lion King (I’m serious, don’t Google these things).

Downside: Ok, so Emre is supposedly into bondage. Which totally makes sense since he’s like, repressed from childhood. The whole missing sister thing really took a toll on his psych, since he’s parents totes forgot about him. Now he YEARNS for control. So the word is that he’s basically Christian Grey but not a literal abuser. He’s into bondage, slapping, SPITTING, choking, flogging, and whips and chains EXCITE HIM. An S&M Daddy! Now the only reason this is in the Downside section is because it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Some girls find it disturbing, and others are totes into it. I’m the latter! Sign me the FUCK up! Choke me with those strong REPRESSED hands.

I noticed he and Olivia have been friendly recently, let’s hope she knows that she’ll be walking side to side after a night with him (no, but like, because of the flogging, not the dick). Once he’s done with those spread sheets at his hoity-toity big boy job, spread sheets take on a whole new meaning once the dawn comes. You go Emre Yahooligan! #callme

FOUR - DEVIN FLORES @devinxflores

First of all, I just want to give a big thanks to all of you for letting me call him Devin TORRES for the past few MONTHS like a complete MORON! I really appreciate you guys letting me disgrace the future KING of Santa Monica in such a terrible way! No really, you guys are the best. I love my fans <3.

Anyways, it’s well known that Devin and his Alaskan Bull Worm have burrowed through the city. Both the men and women alike have survived the DF experience, with ZERO complaints .... well, except for one ...

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: The Charizard (ONCE again, don’t Google. Just know that it involves fire ... And we aint talking about lighting no candles (which he allegedly seems to enjoy, how romantic!)).

Downside: As we have witnessed, Devin is a complete and total klutz! He is always getting himself into a bullshit that is literally all his fault. Didn’t he glue something to his head a few weeks ago -- actually, you know what? That’s not important. What I was getting at is, the main complaint about DaddyDevinFLORES is that during SACX the klutz JUMPS OUT. He has been rumored to have smacked his head on the headboard whilst switching positions (causing him to go UNCONSCIOUS for SEVERAL HOURS, which completely RUINS the mood). One of his Encounters even claimed that during a Romantic Toast of Wine, he clinked the glass so hard it broke and and SHARDS of GLASS went into his hands, causing him to bleed INSTANTLY. What the fuck, Devin?

How could someone who can handle balls so well out on the soccer court, not be able to handle them in the bedroom without accidentally falling out of a window in the process?

Ladies and Gents, much like Emre, Devin will have you walking Side to Side, but if it happens you might be suffering from brain damage after falling in the shower whilst trying to have sex with him. Please seek professional help immediately.

THREE - BERNBERN<3 @carverberncrd

Coming in at Number 3 is none other than Heidi’s personal play thing! We’ve seen his bulge through his Under Armour spanks, so Of Course I had to do a little research to find out the Lipton on HIS heat-seeker. I’ve reached out to his past flings and came to a general consensus.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The women I interviewed all confirmed he is an excellent LAY, so once again, I was right. BernBern<3 outsold your favs.

Favorite Position: Doggystyle (obvi)

Downside: He’s a Taurus so while he will indeed fuck you into a state of paralysis, it’s only to reach his Hedonistic Quota for the evening. He probs won’t even remember your name once he’s done, let alone learn it in the first place. So don’t get attached<3.

His star sign also explains his relationship with Fraudi. Not only are they both so annoyingly stubborn, but Two tops can rarely make it in a relationship. Just ask Ash — never mind. (Omg, btw Idk WHY everyone keeps asking. YES, the rumors are true! BernBern<3 gets pegged, but only by Heidi, it’s actually a testament to his masculinity and how he’s reached the apex of it at this point. But this is all old tea. So I guess Julian isn’t the only #DemonDick in the Stark Fam, Surprise?). Anyways, I ship them, but they get on my fucking nerves! They can’t even admit their undying love for each other, which is so obvious. But this isn’t about #Berni (working ship name), BernBern<3 has a massive COCK (and heart) and it has landed itself on the Top of the list.

TWO - SINRIQUE @itsenriqueaguilar

This one came as a surprise to me because I have no idea who this is. But yalls asses do! So here we have Enrique Aguilar, coming in at number 2 because of the OUTPOUR of receipts on the TALLY WACK ATTACK that he PACKS.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: You know, there wasn’t a general consensus, he’s a man FULL of surprises.

Downside: No, you don’t understand, there is literally no downside. Look, here is a letter from one of the women he’s slept with. For reasons, you will understand REAL soon, this person has been kept anonymous.

Dear DP,

It’s been approximately 1 year, two months, 9 days, 5 hours, and 46 seconds since I Locked Eyes with Enrique from across a crowded room. That night would go to be on of the most invigorating, tantalizing, and romantic experiences of my life. But when I woke up the following morning HE was gone. I long for the day I see him again. My heart Aches at the thought of him with another women. Giving her the same love that HE gave to ME. I need you to understand that I was a grade A student at my university (4.0). I had an paid internship at an elite institution that OWULD HAVE LED ME INTO A PROMISING CAREER! BUT AFTER THAT NIGHT I BECAME RAVENOUS. I NEEDED MORE. AND IT CONSUMED ME! EVENTUALLY I LOST MY INTERN BECAUSE I STOPPED SHOWING UP! I FLUNKED OUT OF SCHOOL BECAUSE I DIDN’T CARE ANYMORE. I SEARCHED YOU ON ALL SOCIAL MEDIA BUT I COULDN’T FIND YOU! ENRIQUE I NEED YOU BACK IN MY LIFE! JUST FOR ONE MORE NIGHT! PEASE I KNOW YOU’RE OUT THERE! CALL ME AT [redacted]

Obviously Ivy, sent this in ... kidding (But honestly though? They did used to date, which ... yikes ... Good to know Daddy Rique has no standards, maybe we all have a chance. #shade #clapback #scalpt)

Anyways, I’ll have to keep an eye on this one, he seems to have a good head on his shoulders ... AND good head on his shoulders OKURRRRRR!!!

ONE - SEBASTIAN DELGADO @bashdelgado

That nerd that sat in the back of the classroom brainstorm his next nerdy ass invention with high-watered khakis, and orthopedic shoes in like, the ninth grade (because he was focused on Arch Support???????). That’s him, Sebastian Delgado. And Baby Daddy Bash has DITCHED the NERD LOOK and is now ready to SNATCH YOUR CAT BACK.

I’m sure everyone is just surprised as I am. But hey, they don’t call him “Bash” for nothing (except for the fact that it’s a shortened version of his name). He’s totes Bashing Puss with his MONSTROUS MEAT TRUNCHEON (and Buss?? Sebastian contact me about your sexuality).

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: Missionary, he’s a man of passion and likes to stare DEEP into your eyes. #swoon #romantic #westan

Downside: Well if you HATE Love and AFFECTION, this one is not the one for you. Not only does he have a GINORMOUS, UN-NUGGETED MEAT SEPTOR/LAP ROCKET/VAGINA MINER, which, by the way, last a LONG time, He is EXCELLENT BOYFRIEND Material! He’s caring, patient, kind, resourceful, loyal, and he is well on his way to becoming a multi-millionaire -- which is NOT the reason he is number one! Money is not the goal here ladies (and guys? Seriously Sebastian, I need to know what’s up).

Sebastian is the complete package and he has ALL of the other guys in this town QUAKING!

So Stan A True Man. Stan .... Sebastian.

And that, my friends, ends the TRUE tea on the wangs in this town. This was fun while it lasted, but I have some COCKtails that need my attention (ok, maybe THAT was the last one).

xo, DP

#santamgossip #abuse tw #blood tw #I LITERALLY SIT AROUND AND MAKE HEADCANNONS ABOUT YALLS CHARACTERS NO ONE ASKED FOR #IM LIKE JK ROWLING BUT POOR #IM TRULY THE WEAKEST LINK

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askthiscpblog · 6 years ago

Note

More with Katie and Red?

It’d been a while since Katie found herself in this new place. Though Katie became somewhat accustomed to it that didn’t mean she didn’t want to leave. Well, at least she wasn’t alone in the experience. Ruby had found herself in the same predicament. Trapped in which the only way out was to be let out. But hey, talking took their minds from it. Speaking of which, Katie was getting bored, so she decided to start up another one of their conversations.

“Hey Ruby, you up?” She said in a drowsy voice that was touching her voice. She had only wakened up about 15 minutes ago from a nap.

Ruby couldn’t remember how long they have been in this place and she didn’t want to rile herself up with that. Although she was much calmer, she still wanted to get out of that place. She didn’t like to feel caged up, even if they could leave the room. Whenever the two weren’t chatting, she looked out the window, which got boring quick. Now, instead of staring out the window, she stared up at the ceiling, also getting bored of it. She continued to debate if she should sleep, which would make time here go by much faster, but she refrained from it. Ruby was laying on her back, staring at the plain ceiling when Katie spoke up.

“Yeah, I’m up. You slept quite a bit…” she said while turning her head to the side to look at Katie.

“Yeah sorry ‘bout that…. there’s not much else to do but sleep…” Katie said giving a small tired smile. Other than talking there wasn’t much to do. They usually talked about what they would do when they’d get out which also wasn’t much, but at least they wouldn’t be stuck in a claustrophobic room. Katie was getting more irritated as each day went by. They already told EJ that they didn’t know the guy that attacked the place and he seemed to agree that they didn’t know too. So why were they still being held there?

“You don’t have to apologize…” she said while sitting up and running her fingers through her hair while letting out a small sigh.

“How much time do you think we’ve been here?” Ruby was getting impatient, but who would be? Her eyes drifted towards the door of the room they were in.

“Wanna explore a bit?” her voice was soft and full of curiosity. Katie got up and stretched.

“God, I don’t know…a month maybe? That’s what it feels like at least…” Katie yawned and looked around the room a little before replying. Katie wanted to get out of this room. Even if she was going to explore and come back. She needed something new to do anyway.

“Sure, I don’t see why not.”

The door opened a bit and the tall bird man-creature is peering through the crack. No eyes could be seen under the mask, a mane of feathers covering the upper torso of the body. Seeing the door open in the corner of her eye, she looked in its direction in silence for a few seconds before speaking.

“Uhhhh….hello?” It was looking at the both as if waiting for something. Hoodie was walking by during this, seeing the two peeks open the door with Seed looking into it. He moves Seed out of the way, pulling the door open more. He didn’t have his mask on, but he now faced to face with the girl who broke more than a few things in his body. Oh, fucking wonderful.

“Whatcha need?” he asked, looking in on what was going on. At first, Katie didn’t realize who the guy was. But his voice, she recognized his voice and it took her a minute to remember where she recognized it from. Her expression could only be described as annoyed now, knowing that this was the guy that had beat her in a fight.

“My friend and I wanna explore a bit…. we’re getting bored…” She said, her voice monotonous.

“You think you can just explore as much as you want? This place has false rooms that kill, you know.” Hoodie responded, leaning against the doorframe looking down at her. His face was unamused, and monotonous slack looking at her right in the eyes.

“Maybe we should let you get rid of you two quickly that way.” Seed gives him a disapproving look, not approving of what he is saying.

“You weren’t the one who was out there going against these people.” he retorted against that look.

Katie’s expression went from annoyance to irritated. Boy did she want to straight up hit this guy in the face. But she managed to hold the urge back. She had to since she was in a house full of people on this guy’s side. She was outnumbered 10 to 1, so making impulsive decisions wasn’t exactly a good idea. But that didn’t mean she would let this guy be a dick to her.

“I wasn’t going against anyone until you came after me with a damn gun,” Katie said, crossing her arms.

“The damn gun had rubber bullets in it. Not allowed to kill during the games, it would ruin the sport and fun.” he retorted to her, still leaning on the door frame. He was sizing her up in a casual manner, but not caring about what is going on with them.

“So, what, you guys wanna look around? I mean, the boss was debating on letting y'all go soon.” The red dog snickered at the two, watching them both argue with each other. Smile found this amusing, watching humans argue over little things.

“Yeah well sitting in a room for a while tends to get just a tad bit boring…” Despite being annoyed by the guy, Katie was glad to hear that they could be leaving soon.

‘It’s about damn time.’ she thought, then spoke out loud, “What? You afraid I’m gonna break your face again?”

“Nah, if that is gonna happen I just won’t use fake bullets next time. Or you know…” he leans forward, faces only inches away from her own. Tall as he is, it was an intimidating figure. There was something…off-putting about him. Not sure what, but something was bad about him. And it is not the fact he was a killer.

“I mean, maybe for that, we could leave you guys in there and die of boredom. It would be the easy thing to do for someone as cunty as you.” He finished, a shit-eating grin covering his face as he waited for her reaction.

Now that, that pushed her a little over the edge. Katie pushed him back, shoving him away in a sudden motion saying, “Stay…the fuck …out of my damn face…” She threatened, giving him a nasty glare. Did he manage to get a reaction out of her? Yeah. Did that mean he won? Pretty much. But right now, Katie didn’t care, and she wanted to leave this hell hole.

Hoodie chuckled when he shoved her back, happy to get some sort of reaction out of her. With that he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, spinning on his heel to walk away. He got what he wanted, so no need for him to be here anymore right now. Seed Eater has an annoyed look, or one could believe it to be under that mask and let hoodie out. It huffed in response watching him leave.

Katie sighed, realizing she let her emotions out of control again. God, she fucking hated that guy. Another reason to leave this place. Katie sat down on the bed, eyes glaring out the window before she spoke.

“You still wanna go lookin’ around this place?” She asked, her gaze shifting to Ruby.

Ruby had watched that little show plays out, staying quiet as she studied Hoodie and Katie. It was the most entertaining thing to happen since they have been in this place. She knew Hoodie was trying to get Katie to blow up and give him the reaction he wanted. He gave off a weird vibe, which made her feel on edge and a bit irritable. Ruby understood why Katie started to get angry. It’s hard to keep your cool when someone is pushing your limits like someone prodding a bear in a cage. Once Hoddie left, her eyes followed Katie. Ruby’s ears twitched a bit once she spoke.

“If you want… It might help you calm down…” Her eyes drifted towards the door as she thought to herself, ‘Or it won’t if we run into him.’

“Yeah… maybe….” Katie mumbled She sighed and stood back up. Despite being a bit pissed off, she still wanted to explore this place. She hoped that everybody else in the house wasn’t as much of an ass as that Hoodie guy. But something told Katie there was a big chance they were. Katie walked to the door and looked back at Ruby.

“Well… we better hurry up…who knows how much time we got to look around before we’re shoved back in here…” Ruby gave her a small, a noticeable smile. She stood up and stretched her arms over her head before walking towards the door.

“Let’s just hope that won’t happen. I feel like I’m going crazy and I sure as hell will bite anyone’s head off if they try. I’ve been patient enough.” She said softly while opening the door.

Katie gave a small smile back before walking out into the hallway a bit. It felt nice not being trapped in that room anymore. Katie ran her fingers through her hair tired waiting for Ruby. Ruby poked her head out a bit before stepping out completely and closing the door behind her. her eyes wandered around the hallway, taking everything in as she moved a bit closer towards Katie.

“Do we just…walk down the hall?” she asked, not sure if this was the safest thing to do. But she was still too tired of being in the room to care.

“Guess so…” Katie said as she started walking. She looked around the hallway, taking mental notes of everything. They passed door after door, but Katie wasn’t about to go into the rooms. She remembered what Hoodie had said about the false rooms. How they were built to kill and whatnot. He could’ve been bluffing, trying to scare them into staying in their room but Katie decided to be careful in case he was being serious.

They see the bird-headed thing 20 feet in front of them, looking at them as if they were studying them. Or it was keeping an eye on them, making sure they don’t into trouble. Katie stopped dead in her tracks, staring right back at the creature. She didn’t know what to do, or rather what it might do. She waited for the creature to do something. It’s watching them, still unless it was following them as they walked.

Ruby tilted her head to the side, also staring at it. After a few second,s she asked, “Do you have a problem with us walking around? We were told we could…” She didn’t like how it was staring at them, it made her feel on edge.

It kept its eye on them, silent beyond the creaking of the wood under its weight. It was giving off a bizarre aura, but none immediate threatening. Then in an inhuman voice is response, “No. You are free to roam. I am simply watching.”

Katie nodded and continued walking down the hall. Katie wondered how many people live here. The house seemed big so a fair amount of people lived here. She couldn’t imagine living with that many people herself. After walking down, the hall for a couple more minutes or so they finally came across the living room. Katie stopped and looked over her shoulder to make sure Ruby was still behind her.

Ruby crossed her arms as the creature continued to stare at them. Once it spoke, she let out a small hum before speaking, “Ah, so it talks.” A small sigh escaped her lips as she started to walk again, following Katie while looking around. She wanted to open those doors out of curiosity but refrained from it, remembering what the male told them. Ruby walked around Katie and investigated the living room.

“It’s a pretty nice place at least….” Katie mumbled to herself. She leaned against the wall looking around the living room. Nothing about the place caught her eye. It seemed like your average house, not including the shit ton of false rooms, but other than that it was normal.

They see a large figure in the center of the room, standing over ten feet tall. The head was white, featureless, and it appeared to be moving in a jerking, unnatural motion about the room. Any time it got near anything electronic, it sputtered and shifted until sparks flew out of it and it died.

Ruby completely froze up, watching the creature. Her eyes followed his tall form as she took in his appearance. Her ears twitched and moved a bit as she heard the sparks coming from the electronic things. Katie stood completely still as she watched the creature. She flinched a little as the electronics broke down, the sound of them hurting her ears. But her gaze never left the creature.

The figure stops and looks at the two of them. Again, no distinguishing features on the face beyond some indents where eyes should be. Its body turned, skipping frames and jerking to where it was right up on the two girls.

A small gasp left Ruby’s lips as she stepped back while looking up at him. She didn’t expect him to appear in front of them. She was caught off guard and she did not like that one bit. Her eyebrows furrowed as she thought to herself, ‘He’s so freakishly tall….’

‘Yes, I am. I am actually the short too.’ A voice appears in Ruby’s head, responding to her thought.

Katie continued to look at the creature. It unnerved her and she hated it. Katie flinched as the creature appeared in front of them thinking, ‘What else lives in this house?’

‘Many residents, both human, not, and somewhere between.’ It responded to her, looking down with no eyes.

Ruby squinted her eyes up at the creature while speaking, “How the hell did you do that?” She didn’t like how he was able to know what she was thinking. Katie froze a bit realizing it could hear her thoughts. Great. She didn’t know what to do at this point. After looking at Ruby it was clear that she wasn’t that happy about it either.

‘Do you see a mouth? How else am I to communicate with the two of you?’ It responded, the voice masculine in nature.“Yeah well sorry that having someone read your thoughts isn’t the most pleasant thing…” Katie retorted.

With that, Ruby frowned, but he did have a point. She bit the inside of her cheek, not wanting to argue with him about not wanting him in her mind. She looked at Katie, nodding a bit. “It’s not like… were used to this…”

'Which is understandable and fair. Might I interest you two in some tea? The boys haven’t been to informative since you arrived here a few weeks ago.’ He asks, gesturing over to what looks like an entrance to a kitchen.

Katie glared over at the kitchen for a second before answering, “Sure…” Katie didn’t know if she was able to trust this guy or not but next to EJ, he was one of the nicest guys here they’ve met so far. He could be trustworthy, he might not be. Guess they’d find out. Ruby followed Katie’s glare until too looked at the entrance of the kitchen. The creature seemed to be polite, but she still wasn’t going to put her guard down. She gave him a slight nod while crossing her arms.

He leads him in there and pointed to a cabinet that seemed to be filled with nothing but various tea types. The stove was an old-style firewood stove, loading into the side and everything. This room is the warmest in the house thanks to it.

'Please, help yourselves.’

Ruby’s eyes roamed the kitchen, stopping at the cabinet he pointed at. She walked towards it and opened it, looking at all the types of tea. A small hum left her lips before saying a small thanks. Katie followed Ruby, still feeling a bit unnerved by the faceless creature. She sat down on at a table. She looked around, observing the kitchen in silence. It was an average kitchen, older than most but has stainless steel appliances and electricity on one end. The figure appears to not be going close to the end without it, the firewood stove and ice box fridge.

“So…will you be letting us leave soon?” Katie was guessing this is the 'boss’ that the EJ had talked about before, so now was a better time to ask than ever. The uncertainty was starting to eat away at her, and boy did she hate it.

'Possibly. I’ve been searching for your memories as you two sleep. To make sure you two are not with him or any other enemy of ours.’

Ruby stopped looking through the cabinet, deciding not to get any tea since nothing caught her attention. She closed the cabinet and walked towards the table, also sitting. She looked at the creature while crossing her arms. “Possibly?”

Someone going through her memories didn’t sit right with Katie, it made her uncomfortable. She nodded and messed around with her cross necklace as she watched Ruby come sit down at the table.

'It is only a precaution really. The fact you two know of this place is a danger. Though you did not get here the normal route, rather when I allow masses to come. But I also have an offer. To join us and make things much easier in the future dealings. I doubt this will be the last time we will meet.’ he explained to them both. With that he sits down across from them, the chair seeming to be wrong as it fits his form. Like reality around him is forming the chair to fit, rather than it is shifting mass to him.

Ruby’s eyes followed him as he sat down while listening to him. Her eyes drifted to the chair before looking back at the creature. She cocked her head to the side a bit, her eyes never leaving where his own should’ve been.

“Join you?” Ruby liked to think of herself as a lone wolf most of the time. Katie seemed to perk up a little at the sound of an offer. Though the sound of 'joining’ somebody put her off a little. Katie had been alone for almost a decade now. And since then she hasn’t exactly been all that good with dealing with other people.

'We are organized and tend to keep to ourselves. Best way to describe it is a mafia of sorts. Only fewer drugs and more…supernatural things.’

“There’s a catch, isn’t there?” The offer didn’t sound too bad itself, but Katie was a bit doubtful that, that was all it.

'You work for me and will have a choice of who you can be assigned to work under. If not, I’ll choose myself. I also will mark you, so my main enemy can’t mind control you.’

“What if we refuse?” Katie asked, crossing her arms. Ruby continued to stay silent, listening to both of them. Katie was asking all the question Ruby wanted to ask. Her head was still cocked to the side, her eyes still on him, waiting for an answer.

'Then there will be no guarantee of your safety in what is coming. If you’re in the way or caught between, you will be killed without mercy.’

Her nose scrunched up at the last thing he said. Ruby leaned her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. She wasn’t going to admit it, but she was a bit curious and her curiosity always stood in the way. A small hum left her lips, “Sure.”

'I’ll say this now if you accept there is no going back. Are you sure?’

Ruby gave him a slight nod while sitting back in the chair. “Yeah.”

The figure gave a small nod to her, letting her stick to get choice. Then she looks over to the other woman, waiting for her response.

Katie thought about it for a few more seconds before speaking. “I’m in.” She said, stretching her arms and back over the edge of the chair.

His head turns to the two of them before giving a short, almost unnoticeable nod to the two of them. 'Alright then. I will call everyone here and you can choose who your mentors will be.’ There was a moment of silence before they both started to see people file into the room. A lot of different people, some more human, others not.

Katie watched as people came into the room. Katie had not been around this many people in so long that it almost felt overwhelming. But it was too late to turn back now. Katie already agreed to the creature’s offer, so she sat there in silence observing everyone. Ruby sat up straighter, watching everyone files in. All these people all at once made her feel a bit uncomfortable. Her eyes drifted to everyone.

There was a gothic woman in a long black dress with raven black hair and a mask on, but the mask seemed to change expressions with what she had under it. Her heels clicked against the hard floor as she walked. There was the trio that came in, two of them they should recognize. Hoodie and Masky filed in, both staring down the girls but relaxed in posture. Toby came in after, scratching his arms, eyes looking everywhere wild and falling on the two girls sitting down. Next came another figure they would recognize. EJ saunters on in, mask off this time showing the gray skin and leaky black eyes. Though slow, he seemed at ease in comparison to when he was in the room with them. Almost too relaxed at all this. Two ghosts drifted through the walls. One had on a green suit and looked like Link but different; his eyes were different. Shorter than the rest, but had something to do with this house itself. The other one was gray in skin tone, lighter than EJ’s, with yellow eyes and a more modern style. He was drifting around in the air while the other ghost stayed solid on the ground.

'The woman is Jane, and she oversees a man we are trying to get back named Jeff. She is like him, to each other, in that they fight with knives and are close combatants. You two know my personal proxies, Masky and Hoodie here. Toby is the third one. Masky is up front and is a hard fighter, Hoodie tends to stay back and shoot, while Toby is a wild card fighter with hatchets. You know EJ, the medical person of everyone here. A human possessed by a demon, but they came into a symbiosis to form the person you see before you. Think like Venom in a way. When he does fight, he is very precise and dangerous. Maybe one of the most dangerous individuals here.

Then we have Ben and The Puppeteer. Ben is an electronics ghost who goes so far to drive people insane and into suicide. He is also our tech person in case we need to use that. Don’t let him fool you, he keeps EJ on his toes with how smart he is. The Puppeteer has 2 proxies of his own already, not here of course. He tends to be a filler where we need him, but most often an information gatherer. Don’t be fooled by his looks, he is a nasty fighter and a great ambusher.’

It was at that moment the bird-like man lets out a screech and a monochrome clown falls from the ceiling. He was tall and lanky, claws at the end of his hands instead of true fingers. The clown was currently holding his head, screaming for the other creature to stop screeching.

'This is LJ. Long story short, he is an angelic creation that was corrupted. He enters dreams and can do some abnormal things to himself to win a fight. He is a child killer specifically, more specific than the rest of us but me.’

The final person to come into the room is an odd looking, very short woman. She had two colored hair, one side pink the other purple, in pig-tails. Wearing pastel purple short overalls with bats and spiders crawling over them, her bangs were out of her face to show off her 8 eyes. Small fangs showed from her top lip, and the slit down her face. Her skin was light gray, lighter than EJ’s but darker than Puppets.

'This is Charlette. You can’t choose her, she is new as well. Same time as you two were here, but free to roam around due to LJ keeping an eye on her.’

Ruby’s eyes landed on Masky, feeling on edge. She clenched her jaw, keeping a growl from escaping her. She had a huge urge to ask how his back was doing. Once Slenderman began speaking, her eyes left him and drifted to everyone else. She took in everyone’s appearance while also listening about them as the creature introduced them.

'Regardless you will all be working together eventually at one point or another. So, this is also the first introductions. Until Jeff gets back. You have met Seed Eater and Smile, but they are not those who can teach you.’

“So we just chose someone,“ Katie said, sounding a bit unamused as she glared at Hoodie for a second. At least she knew who she wasn’t going to choose.

'If you don’t or are indecisive, I will choose for you.’

Ruby didn’t know who to choose, but she did know she didn’t want to be with Masky. She’d rather let Slenderman choose for her. Katie looked among the group. She was sure as hell wasn’t going chose Hoodie so at least her choices were shortened a little. She thought about how he said them all fight. One that her mind kept going back to was Toby’s style of fighting. He said that Toby was a wild card. She guessed that meant you wouldn’t be able to guess his next move when it came to a fight. Now that was Katie’s style. Unexpected, random, and relentless. She thought about it a bit more before speaking.

“Alright,” Katie said as she brushed some hair out of her face. “I choose Toby.”Slender looked at her and gave a nod in response and looked over at Ruby. It seemed like he was studying her, waiting to see if she was going to speak up or not. After a minute of awkward silence, he speaks up instead, ‘You will be with EJ.’

Ruby looked at EJ and nodded, she didn’t mind being with him. At least she wasn’t paired up with a stranger or Masky. She finally spoke up, her gaze drifting to Slenderman.

“What will we be mentored in?” she asked, not sure what is going on.

'How we run things around here mostly. Refine your skills as murderers and hunters. Various other things as well.’

A small hum left Ruby’s lips while nodding and crossing her arms. She didn’t mind the other things, but she thought she didn’t need to refine her skills. She liked how she hunted.

With that Slender stands up and goes to move out of the room. Everyone else started to leave as well, filing out to go back to what they were doing. Even their mentors left, but no one else seemed to bother them. This will be interesting from now on.

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koganphrancis · 7 years ago

Text

New Episode, New Ian

What they showed:

What we all thought of:

and that made the ending of last night’s episode fraught with emotion (as did Cam’s acting), and I was sort of freaked out by events until about an hour after the show when I saw the full scene in the church from the next episode-and now I’m back to thinking Shameless is just continuing their same old bullshit.

Weekly warning: There will be spoilers under the cut, even one for The Walking Dead so if you haven’t seen last week’s mid-season finale of that show-you have been warned.

Another brand new writer this week-I wasn’t impressed. Last week’s seemed ignorant about sexual orientation, this week’s seems just as uninformed about addiction (and maybe medications to treat bipolar disorder).

I’ll try to dispense with the other storylines as quickly as possible. The Kev and Vee stuff doesn’t interest me or amuse me in the least-it’s not my cup of tea anyway, but of course it’s not being well-written and that hurts its chances even more. This week we saw the twins for a second, but no Yev and no Svetlana. I guess the thrupple is over again already?

Carl is a waste of screen time this year, in my opinion. The new love interest is a weird, bitchy sort who screams about the living hell of her teen life-which includes SAT prep, tennis camp, and cruising the Greek islands on “P Diddy’s” yacht. You’re trying too hard, Shameless, we’d hate this teen bride to be without all the whining.

Oh, we also find out Carl is also 16 this week-so, either Debbie’s twin or another set of (heretofore unmentioned) Irish twins.

Frank is a total waste of time too, except one interesting line-he tells a stranger in line at a job fair he has “five kids”, so I guess he really doesn’t count Ian as his own.

It’s Liam’s last day of school? But Carl’s just weeks away from going back to school? I know the time line has never made sense, but wtf?

Also Fiona flat out states she’s 28 in this episode-what’s with the new writers establishing ages all of the sudden?

Debbie should’ve gotten fired in her first scene at work, but doesn’t, but self-sabotages the job later (in typically “hilarious” aka unfunny Shameless fashion), and from an Emmy tweet I guess the audience is supposed to think she stood up for herself but all I could think was, “Good luck getting another job where they let you bring your baby to work in a pet carrier.” Of course Debbie IS a Gallagher and this IS Shameless, so by next week she’ll probably have some high paying steady job with in-house daycare and a retirement plan...

Snore got to have a couple of lines this week-setting up her still in the future storyline. Lip asks her if she’s ok when she seems distracted/down in the dumps/who tf knows what she was going for, and she answers, “Sorry, just stuff.” Lip says, “You wanna talk about it?” and she says, “Naw, it’s fucked up.” Ian will have a similarly cryptic scene at the end of the show-suddenly they want us to think storylines continue from week to week?

We meet Fiona’s new fella-the only thing remotely interesting about him is his Irish accent. Nessa’s got her weekly “I’m never at work, I’m always free to hang with Fiona” scene too, in which Fiona says Ian has a “history of psycho behavior” so fuck you, New Writer. (Fiona also has a history-of child endangerment and neglect-so she should put those stones away while she’s living in that glass house.)

Lip had another week where I just can’t invest in what he’s got going on. Why is Lip, the alcoholic adult child of an alcoholic so disillusioned and shocked by Youens’ downfall? Why are they writing him so naive? Lip is supposed to be smart, plus he’s watched Frank his entire life-we’re supposed to believe that he was gobsmacked by Youens getting drunk during an hour break at the courthouse? Wouldn’t that be Frank to a T? You remember Lip’s dad, don’t you? The guy who when he couldn’t get booze down this throat used an eye dropper to get alcohol into his blood stream thru his eyes? They have Brad say to Lip that with Youens’ record, if it was anyone else, Lip would say he belongs in jail after his fifth DUI-which rings true. If it were Frank in the same position, Lip would be testifying against him! Anyway, the big farewell scene at the prison, the writer to me showed little to zero sympathy (or maybe even awareness?) that alcoholism is a disease. Instead of giving Youens a speech like Ian got to keep his EMT job, Youens tells Lip he’s “a drunk”. Don’t any of these people watch Mom on CBS? And I’m not being flippant-my uncle (my mother’s brother) was an alcoholic and I don’t think he had a drink during my entire lifetime (he was working on his sobriety by the time I was born), but I know he did struggle every day, he wanted a drink every day of his life. The show keeps acting like there’s just some magic hump Lip needs to get over and then he won’t want/need to drink and it just doesn’t work that way. That’s why the program says “one day at a time”-Lip can’t keep waiting for some magic moment one day down the road where he’ll be “cured” and never want another drink. Lip did his 28 days, he’s been going to meetings, he should know this. The writers definitely should know it, but they don’t treat alcoholism like a disease at all-I don’t get it and I don’t think the storyline is great. Lip hasn’t seemed to learn anything from any of the father figures in his life. Also? I strongly suspect that now that Youens is “put away” and Brad’s too overwhelmed to be a sponsor, they’ll show Lip searching for a new sponsor next week, but after that he’s going to be Snore’s rock when Terry-oops, I mean her father-gets out of prison and all of Lip’s drinking issues WILL have magically been handled to free him up to be her hero.

Now on to the only reason I keep watching this mess of a show. When we first see Ian this week, it’s in a very OOC scene of him throwing not one but two buckets of icy water on Fiona in bed. Really? You expect me to invoke a suspension of disbelief so strong that it believes that A: Ian would ever do such a thing, and B: (since we find out he’s been doing it for a week) that Fiona’s mattress isn’t completely ruined? Fuck you, Shameless. And between “joking” about killing her and now this act of aggression, I’m really getting sick of how they’re writing Ian-he’s never been like that.

Speaking of character traits-next we see Jerome spelling out MANIAX on the sidewa...Oops, sorry, Ian’s egging Fiona’s building and writing out his explanation of where “Cuntlord” came from as a mash up on the sidewalk in spraypaint. He’s also got the kids from the shelter with him and they’re setting up a tent city on the conveniently empty lot next to Fi’s apartments. Terror is...there. Standing there. Being useless. Ian gets in Fiona’s face, says he wants her to “smell their shit”-oh, Shameless, you’re making it too easy-the whole show smells like shit. Terror tries to tell Ian it sounds like a family issue, that Ian shouldn’t be using “Terror’s kids” (I cringe every time he shouts “my kids” at Ian). Ian’s got a bullhorn, they chant some obscenities (as if Fiona’s tenants and other people in the neighborhood wouldn’t call the cops about THAT)...you can just see the wheels turning, that Shameless is trying to be shameless again, but it ain’t working. Anyway, Terror stands there trying to look worried (it comes off more as constipated) as Ian marches off around the building with the kids. If we’re supposed to think he’s like Mickey worrying about Ian as he was losing control, it’s not working.

As soon as Ian leaves for work, Fiona buys all the kids off with free pizza and twenty bucks-and even the girl crushing on Ian has her price and is the last to leave. I bet that’s the last we’ll see of the “kids”. Fiona also pulls a totally cunty move and has all the kids’ stuff removed by a clean up crew. It would’ve killed them to write a line where she says, “Bring it back to the Youth Center but tell someone in charge there that if they set up again, I’m throwing it out.”?

When Ian gets back to the lot after work, he and Terror are looking on the scene and they start to pick up some stuff Fiona’s crew missed. Fi is trying to talk to Ian, to apologize and put it behind them, but Ian’s ignoring her. She says that Margo has another building and that she’s willing to lease it and waive the first and last month’s rent deposit, Ian says they’re not interested in charity. Terror speaks up and Ian barks at him, and then Fiona asks Ian if he’s off his meds. That only makes Ian madder, but she tries again, asks, “are you taking them?” Ian is livid now, he informs Fiona that yes, he is taking them and that he’s “fucking angry” and is she going to suspect he’s off his meds for the rest of his life when he gets angry and that he’s allowed to be “angry at bitch assholes when they’re being fucking bitch assholes,” and then he stomps off, obviously upset and hurting and Terror stays with Fi just like he stayed with Monica when Ian was hurt and upset by her-because Terror never validates Ian’s feelings and is TOXIC. Fi doesn’t go after Ian either, and tells Terror to go look at the building for the youths. She doesn’t say the offer is time sensitive though, ffs.

Ian doesn’t get home till it’s full dark out-where was he all afternoon and during the early evening? At the time I was hoping Mickey’s abandoned building rooftop, but you know that’s just dumb of me.

Terror is waiting on the front stairs of Ian’s house. Ian doesn’t look pleased to see him. First thing out of Terror’s mouth: “I went to look at that place on Ashland.” (No “Hi”, no “Are you ok?”, no “Do you want to talk?”) Ian says, “You what?” clearly pissed off. “It’s got good bones (that’s the 2nd time in the episode they use that real estate buzz phrase-Fiona described the building to them thusly-it sounded out of place both times). I signed a lease.” Hold the phone-I’m really going to need to see a printed out job description for Terror’s position at the youth center ASAP. He has the authority to sign binding legal/rental documents for the place? He doesn’t even have a valid ID!!! But I digress. Ian’s response is, “Fuck, Trev.” He just sounds exhausted. Terror says, “She’s right about you not being yourself lately. (Dafuq? You’ve known him all of ten months maybe? And you’ve NEVER let him talk/express himself? What do you know about Ian being “himself”, asshole?) This isn’t the mountain you’re making it to be. Are you taking care of yourself?” Is he asking if Ian’s having anonymous sex with randos who worship him? WTF is Terror’s definition of Ian taking care of himself? Ian answers, pausing between each word, “Yes. I am taking my fucking meds. Now get off my porch, dick.” Terror literally steps in front of him and gets right in his face (since he’s standing a step or two up the stairs) and says, “It is my job to do what is best for those kids and that place on Ashland will make their lives a little bit better.” So? THAT’S the appropriate response to whatever Ian is going through? ANOTHER goddamn lecture about Terror and what Terror does? Like I said, Fiona didn’t say, “Rush right down there, this offer is only on the table for the next few hours.” Terror’s all about what he has to do for those kids in need while the guy he claimed he “really loved” is in a world of goddamn hurt? Leaving Mickey out of it all together, Terror still comes off as an uncaring, self-centered asshole. Terror doesn’t care about Ian, it’s so clear in this (and many other) scenes. Why does Shameless keep forcing this on us? All Terror has been saying the last few episodes while Ian has been trying to help the kids is that Ian’s doing it wrong, and that they are Terror’s kids. Even bringing up his job like that-if he wanted to make the point to Ian that he’s been trained to help them and Ian hasn’t-why not say THAT instead of going from, “Your sister’s right, are you taking care of yourself?” to pounding his chest and crowing about “his job”? He’s the one that let Ian in to help the kids, now all he ever does is act like Ian’s not good enough at it.

The last scene is Ian in his bed. Fiona comes in to talk to him, they both say they’re done fighting. Ian oddly says, “I shouldn’t have wasted my time on that bullshit. Not when there are larger concerns to consider.” Fiona asks, “Larger concerns like what?” He takes a breath like he’s about to answer, pauses,she gives him a searching worried af look, then he just changes the topic, “Is there anything else you wanted to talk about? I was almost asleep in here.” Instead of saying something like, “I’m your sister, you know you can tell me anything, I want to know,” she just says, “Night, Ian,” gets up, walks to the door, pauses, says, “I love you, you know.” Close up of Cam’s face, another pause, he finally says, “You too.” She leaves, there’s another close up of him-his eyes move from the door to staring at nothing.

So, when I was watching it live, that scene totally freaked me out. He seemed like he had something bad to tell her, but just couldn’t yet. I WANT to believe this is all leading to him mourning and missing and not coping about Mickey, but this stupid show never wants to remember Mickey and sure as hell doesn’t want to act like he ever meant anything to Ian but a puppy love Ian outgrew. So I doubt that’s where they’re going. I also don’t think it has anything to do with Monica because the show feels like they’ve “done” that story and it’s over. I was wracking my brain about what Ian’s larger concerns could be referring to, and upset that we’re going to have to wait two weeks to even begin to find out. Because another possibility is that they’ll never say what the hell he was referring to because that’s what this show is now-brand new every week. There’s still no fall out from him going into the old couple’s house-was that just a throwaway joke? That, just like Kev dancing at the Fairy Tail, Ian would do anything for that money?

On The Walking Dead’s mid-season finale it was revealed that Carl had been bit by a walker in an earlier episode and that’s what this bed scene was reminding me of-that Ian had something really awful and life-altering happen, but he just can’t bring himself to tell anyone yet.

Anyway, thoughts were spinning around in my head, and then I saw this: https://youtu.be/ZiFnSVqu1D4 and it was a cold dose of reality, just like those buckets of water falling on Fiona’s head: by the next episode all will be fine. Ian’s found a new passion project, Terror is on board, holding his Bible for him and supporting his man, even if he does claim to be Ian’s ex-Ian’s quick to “reassure” us that they’ll start banging again soon. That ugly smile on Terror’s face made me want to cry.

Now I’m thinking that maybe all “larger concerns” is gonna turn out to be that one of the youths told Ian off camera about the gay conversion program at that church-or that maybe instead of being on Mickey’s rooftop Ian was wandering around the city and saw a flyer or a poster for it. So when he’s talking to Fiona he’s already moved on from topics of real estate and his contemplating taking on organized religion. Because this show is that badly written nowadays. True loyal fans keep remembering how the show was back in the day and could read a lot into the emotions played by Emmy and Cam in that final scene and were naturally worried that something personal is going on with Ian, but it probably is just him setting off on the path of becoming a zealot with a new cause with much-or all-of the reasoning happening off the page and off screen. LAME.

They could’ve so easily set this storyline up over time-Ian gets back from leaving Mickey to find not only has he lost the love of his life, but also his mother, his one sympathetic source when it comes to the lifelong condition he still doesn’t have a handle on, it would’ve been the most natural thing in the world for him to look to religion for answers. But no, we had him chase after Terror like he’s Ian’s only relationship option, and in the next episode he’s got a Bible with dozens of post-it tabs marking the pertinent passages he needs to take on a pastor instead. Somewhere between telling Fiona he was almost asleep and the next episode he’ll have read and highlighted the entire Bible and quasi-broken up with Terror with the promise that they’ll get together again soon. Because they can’t make Terror and Ian just friends. They’re really going to make us suffer thru this on again, off again tedious bullshit? Why?

One more note on how much they let happen that we don’t get to see: WHEN DID TERROR FIND OUT IAN HAS BIPOLAR DISORDER? Was it when Fiona was asking Ian about his meds? Was it long ago? Was it before or after Ian ran off with Mickey? WHEN? First they just spring it on us that Terror apparently knows all about Ian being a teen prostitute (which the audience still doesn’t even really know about-all we got was retconning because the last we knew, Ian told the porn producer he couldn’t turn tricks at the club), now this? They waste so much time on scenes that go nowhere and that don’t advance the story at all-they can’t give us a little bit of Ian actually talking to the guy he’s screwing? Hell, they don’t even give us scenes of them screwing....

#Spoilers #Recap #Season H8 Episode 7 #It keeps getting crappier every week #I don't know how they do it

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artificialqueens · 8 years ago

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I Was Happier With You Ch.3 (Trixya)- Doll Parts

A/N: Guysss omg. I told myself when I started this fic that I would be happy if it got 5 notes, and you guys have been breaking 20 and it’s awesome. Thank you guys so much for each and every one of you reading. I have a sideblog that I’ve been reblogging fics I read to if anyone wants to follow: tracysficblg.

This chapter is all about our favorite Barbie. We’re getting close to reconciliation!

And Andi is wonderful as always. Me and my wife are basically the reason she’s gotten into the RPDR fandom so she’s fresh. We’re working our way through the show slowly but we’re getting there. She hasn’t seen season 7 yet but still beta’s the fuck out of my stuff. She’s the real MVP.

Trixie looked at her phone for the first time in a week. Ignoring reality had gone far enough and she knew if she didn’t respond to her friends they were going to bust down her door.

27 Unread Messages

8 Missed Calls

3 Voicemails

Unsurprisingly enough, most of her notifications were from Kim. None of them were from Katya. She wasn’t surprised but it still stung. She started with her missed calls and voicemails. Two voicemails were from Kim and the other from Violet. Trixie got a sinking feeling and had a good idea what Violet’s said, so she started with the first of the two from Kim.

“Trixie will you please answer the phone. I know what you’re doing and you need to stop this. You’re going to have to talk to us eventually. Stop wallowing and talk to me. Of anyone you know you can talk to me.”

Pulling her phone away from her ear she clicked the next voicemail, her heart pounding. Kim knew her inside and out, enough to know Trixie wanted her space but cared enough to tell her to get out of her head. She should listen to Kim more.

“Trixie it’s Kim again. Starting to wonder if you’re dead or not. I hope you’re doing better now that it’s been a few days. If you’re still alive I would appreciate a call back.”

When the recording ended she hit call back. While the phone rang she walked to the living room and curled up into the corner of the couch. Two rings later the phone answered, muffled noise before Kim’s voice came through the speaker. “Well if it isn’t life in plastic herself. I see your not dead in a ditch.”

Trixie rolled her eyes and huffed. “Id rather be dead in a ditch if we’re being honest. Do you want to talk about this on the phone or are you coming over?” She looked around the room and took in how messy she had let the place get into during her week of isolation. Deciding on where to start first, she stood up and moved into the kitchen to start cleaning.

“I think I’ll come over. I’m assuming you haven’t had any human contact in awhile so I will grace you with my presence.” Her and Trixie both giggled.

“Just get over here so I can tell you just how big of a fuck up I am.” There was the jingle of car keys through the speaker and a door shutting.

“Be there in about 20. See you soon.” Trixie said goodbye and set off throughout the place speed cleaning as much as she could. After a few minuets she remembered she had a message from Violet she still hadn’t listened to.

There was an angry huff at the beginning before Violets voice came through the speaker. “If you don’t fix this, Trixie Mattel, I swear I’m going to murder you. Fucking fix it.”

Katya was the reason her and Violet were friends. They had been mutual friends of other friends in their group. When her and Katya got together, Katya set them up on double dates with Violet and Pearl all the time. Getting to know the two of them on a more personal level had been great. Pearl and Trixie had been friends before all of them had paired off so she already knew her pretty well. She had enjoyed getting to know the other girl on a more personal level. Violet was a lot nicer than she let on, Trixie had figured out after a few date nights, she kept up a front to establish dominance over her life.

She hoped Violet wasn’t mad at her enough for their friendship to suffer. She really liked the other girl and didn’t want her messy breakup to effect her friendships. Problem was most of her friends were also Katya’s friends. They were bound to see each other at some point. Maybe she should talk to Katya soon and fix things.

There was a knock on her door that pulled her out of her thoughts. When she opened the door, Kim was waiting with a big pan of dirt cake in her arms. Trixie burst into laughter and pulled Kim into a hug, trying not to smush the pan between them.

“I’m so glad you love food because I need this.” She scooped the pan out of her friends arms and moved it to the kitchen.

“If you don’t answer your phone for at least half a week and I finally get invited over you best believe we’re going to be here long enough to need food.”

Trixie turned around and pulled Kim into a real hug. They stayed like that until Trixie’s shoulders started to sag and Kim could hear tiny sniffles coming from the other girl.

“I lost her Kim.” Her voice was watery and Kim knew she was crying at this point. “I lost her and it’s all my fault. Trixie’s shoulders shook and Kim pulled her closer as the other broke down in her arms.

They stood there for awhile, Kim rubbing circles into Trixie’s back. When the crying started to lessen Kim walked her over to the couch before going into the kitchen and fixing them both a plate of the cake she had brought. She heard Trixie give a small chuckle. Kim believed food could fix just about anything. Mostly the talking that happened over the food, but she wasn’t going to give her secret away.

“I’m not sure this is a problem food can fix this time.” Kim looked over her shoulder with a smirk.

“You underestimate my powers.” She licked the cake that was stuck to her spoon before bringing both of their plates back to the couch. She passed Trixie her plate and turned to face her, crossing her legs underneath her,

“Ok give me the T, cause I don’t really know whats going on to help fix it.”

Trixie shoved a huge bite of cake in her mouth, the small smile she made covered in whipped cream and cake crumbs. She loved Kim and was thankful she brought one of her favorite treats to cheer her up. Once she finished chewing and cleared her throat she began to explain exactly what had happened. Her freaking out about falling in love with Katya too soon, thinking she could play it cool by going back to friends, how Katya had reacted, and how once everything was said and done she finally realized exactly how stupid she had been.

“Is this why I can’t keep a girlfriend? I fall too fast?”

Kim sat there silent for a moment. Thinking over everything the other girl had told her. Finally she moved both of their empty plates and scooted closer to Trixie, placing her hand on her knee.

“I won’t lie, I think you handled the situation awfully. You have a problem with talking about you’re real feelings and end up dancing around them. This wasn’t the time to lie about how you feel. Judging by how you said Katya reacted, it sounds like she has the same feelings as you.”

Trixie was looking at her lap and chewing on her bottom lip. Kim gave her knee a light squeeze, getting her to look up at her.

“Also, your ex’s were kind of cunty so lets not compare them to Katya and the matter at hand.” Trixie’s nose wrinked at the statement before shrugging her shoulders and nodding in agreement.

“So I should definitely talk to Katya.”

“Duh. You need to be straight with her.”

Trixie burst into laughter, one of her screams making Kim slap her knee.

“You know what I mean! Go be lesbians with her. Just talk to her. Really talk to her, not throw your walls up and spew some shit about ‘Let’s be friends’. What were you thinking Trixie?”

Trixie’s face fell again, the joy from the innuendo gone.

“I don’t know now that I think about it. It seemed like a rational idea to begin with. I just don’t want to loose her, you know? And here I am, lost without her.” She looked around the room, not wanting to meet Kim’s eyes. “I really love her. I saw the rest of my life with her.” She turned back to Kim. “It’s fucking scary.” Kim nodded.

“It is, but what if Katya saw the rest of her life with you as well?” They sat there in silence while Trixie processed everything that had been said and the best plan of action.

“I’m gonna call her, ok?” Kim nodded and Trixie went into her bedroom and closed the door. Her finger hovered above Katya’s name. She took a deep breath and pressed call. She held her breath the first two rings, by the third though she knew Katya wasn’t going to answer. The third ring went by and the call went to voicemail. Taking a deep breath she decided to leave a message.

“Hey Katya, it’s Trixie. You probably know that already. Hey, uh, I just wanted to see if you would talk to me. I know I’m probably the last person you want to talk to but I need to talk to you. Explain myself and apologize. I was a complete bitch and I don’t blame you if you never want to see me again. But please let me talk to you one last time. If you decide after that to never talk to me again it’s fine. I need to tell you-”

The phone beeped letting her know she had used up all the time to leave a message. She sighed and put her phone down on the bed and went back out to the living room. Kim was eating another plate of cake and watching youtube, trying to give Trixie privacy and not listen to the call.

“Well?”

“It went to voicemail. I’m not surprised. If I was her I wouldn’t want to talk to me either.”

“Give her some time. Do you want to go out? You’ve been in here for god knows how long. Don’t you have cabin fever?” Trixie laughed and shook her head.

“I’d rather stay in and watch trash tv and cuddle to be honest. Want to stay the night?”

So they stayed in, ordering takeout and switching between multiple reality shows before they abandoned the tv completely. They curled up in Trixie’s bed, Kim resting her head on Trixie’s leg while Trixie strummed nonsense on her guitar and Kim caught up on her beauty blogs she followed on youtube.

“Hey Kim?” Trixie stopped the strings with her hand softly and Kim rolled over to face her.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. For everything. I’m glad I have you to call me out on my shit.” Kim brought her had up to frame her face under her chin.

“Of course. You know I’ll clock you in a heartbeat.” Trixie shoved her shoulder and rolled over to put her guitar on its stand next to the bed.

“Hate you.”

“Aww Trixie, you know you love me!”

#trixya #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #cisgirl au #kim chi #doll parts #angst #rpdr fanfiction #lesbian au #i was happier with you

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motherhoodandmothering-blog · 6 years ago

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10/17/18 Mothering Themes and Stereotypes in Music and Performance

youtube

RuPaul is a famous queer male icon and drag queen known mostly for his competition show RuPaul’s Drag Race. In order to advance the competitiveness of contestants on his show, he produces his own music to which the drag queens choreograph their performances. One of RuPaul’s more famous songs is appropriately titled “Call Me Mother,” referring to himself as the caregiver of the contestants on the show. I want to note before I write any further that while I understand RuPaul identifies as a cisgendered gay male, the persona he plays as a “drag mother” and the themes he writes about in his song “Call Me Mother” are relevant in dissecting the use of roles and stereotypes of motherhood in the male-dominated drag world. More specifically, the song “Call Me Mother” uses hyper-sexualized and feminized themes of motherhood to enhance the perceived power of drag queens.

The most core theme that “Call Me Mother” explores is the feminized and sexualized versions of motherhood. Given that drag performances are generally sexual and feminine, and given that mothers are expected to be both feminine and sexy/presentable, using motherhood as the core of drag performance makes sense. Lines RuPaul wrote such as “fine, fresh, feminine, style to eleven” and “titties so plentiful, fish queen jezebel” followed by the line “call me mother” shows how the fetishized mother is the ideal of his drag persona and performance in that it reclaims such terms to the benefit of the drag queen. I also do not want to take the work of RuPaul too seriously as I know a lot of drag performance is satire, but exploiting the (sometimes) unrealistic standards of mothers and using them to further the careers of cis-male drag queens can be quite offensive when the goal is to make money. In other words, it is unfair that cis-male drag queens can reproduce the stereotypes of motherhood and be seen as fierce and funny while cis-women living that reality continue to be oppressed by it. Though, I do not want to be naive and assume that the drag mother persona is only for kicks and giggles; it could be an extension of the gender identity of the queen.

I do, however, believe that using motherhood as a drag theme can also be a compliment to the strength of being a mother. Drag queens usually put on the persona of a mother to represent power. Mothers discipline, care for their children, provide for the rest of the family, work, and also find time to be classy, sexy, and feminine. That, to me, sounds powerful if I am coming from the capitalist patriarchal point of view. And quite realistically, RuPaul is a mother of sorts in that he helps nurture the careers of drag queens and must act to discipline contestants. Yet still, it is a glorification of the expectations of mothers.

I do not believe there is a “right” or “wrong” way to do drag, especially since I have never done it myself; but I do think that drag performance should include the goal of liberating both the queen and the audience (and for the most part, drag I have seen in person does that). As far as I know, mother personas may even give power to real mothers because of the popularity of this persona and the way that it is given weight in the drag scene. While I am still not so sure how materializing a whole drag identity out of the hyper-sexualized mother does anything other perpetuate the suffering of real mothers, I am not going to be the one to police who is allowed to draw power from the images of motherhood and who is not.

Lyrics to “Call Me Mother” by RuPaul

[Verse 1] Guess who's back in the house Heels click-clackin' about Fine, fresh, feminine, style to eleven I'm divine, so heavenly Gentlemen sweatin' It's dimes across the board with no doubt Body like WOW! Pussy 'bout to end this drought Titties so plentiful, fish queen jezebel Should be criminal Don't make sense for a bitch to be this endowed North to the south What is that sound? Watch me drop, drop, drop into the ground Wait for the four, drop to the floor Add up the tens to get the score I been that bitch, yes I love that drama Fishy, feminine up-and-comer From the Clintons to the Obamas I keep it tight, now they call me Mother Jaded queen bitch, I love that drama Fishy, feminine up-and-comer From the Clintons to the Obamas I keeps it tight, now they call... Me... Mother...

[Breakdown] Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Brrat-at-at Na-na-na-na-not-now Giggity-giggity hat Barack get back Bap butta ba ba pow I'm a cunny hunny, a cunny hunny A honey bun but I Count my money, I count my money With a brap-brap, knick to da knick da knick-knack I'm black with the freaky money Click-clack, ow

[Verse 2] I'm that Glamazon They know my name because I'm on another echelon Miss Automatic, Supersonic, I'm a Sass-a-tron And I ain't lookin' up to anyone, the gams are long And I'm ready shake the jelly when the jam comes on The kind of thing that all the fellas make advances on I'm only gettin' out of bed for $20 Million Now get your camera phone Cause in a minute I'm about to be on (Here come that girl) Here come that girl, o-oh shit what up (Give me twirl) Give them twirl, that's the bread and butter (Clutch them pearls) Clutch your pearls, she's the big shot caller (Cross me squirrel) Get-get run over, over None of these bitches is cunty like Ru Cluckity chickens, I'm pluckin' they plumes Runnin' my business, Boss comin' through When I step in you know well what it do Uh, y'all know well what it do None of these bitches is fuckin' with Ru Runnin' my businesses, don't need a witness Yes, when I step in, they know well what it do When I step in, they know well what it do Yeah, bitch, she done already done had hers She been done had herses

Questions:

1. How can the performance of motherhood in the male-dominated drag world be transformative? How may it not be?

2. How does capitalism influence Ru’s performance of motherhood? Why is this widely accepted by many queer people?

#motherhood #mothering #drag #drag queen #rupaul #rupaul's drag race

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