#IM LIKE JK ROWLING BUT POOR

[maxdibert]

recently found ur acc and I agree with a lot of things (lol considering im a marauders fan/usually interact with snaters) i've always considered snape to be a v complex and well fleshed out character (i think alan rickman did wonders to jk's unpolished writing ngl, he was genuinely sm better in the movies because alan brought the depth to him that jk tried) and I only used to hate him when I was like 14-15. but i have to say, what makes you hate on lily sm (i get a hardcore snape fan would hate james, i dont because i recognize his flaws as what they are instead of making excuses for him)

but lily hate I genuinely dont get, like if we can praise snape for being a complex character why shame lily for being one as well? if you're gonna say its because lily is portrayed as a saint, I could argue that's what happens once one dies, people don't like to speak ill of the dead. that's what happened to severus as well, harry hated him all his life then he died and suddenly he was "the bravest man he ever knew."

i get that lily getting together with james is sad for sev but sev also basically bullied her by using a racial-slur equivalent for her? and we're told constantly james changed and grew anyways.

also i dont understand why a mother's sacrifice is downplayed because "shes supposed to do so"? it is equally heroic for a person to sacrifice themselves for someone else as it is for a mother to sacrifice herself for her child.

mothers are always put on this pedestal to be absolutely perfect but they ARE human beings and idk why we need to be told this in 2025 that it is extremely misogynistic to put women's and mother's efforts because "its their role"

anyways, my point is; when we can recognize severus as a grey character, what's wrong with recognizing lily as one (when shes honestly mostly good, was there for sev when no one was, only stopped after he verbally abused her infront of the whole school)

The root of the problem is not that Lily has flaws—every complex character should have them—but rather how the narrative presents her. It’s not about "Snape fans hating Lily because she chose James," but rather that the story forces us to see her as a saint, even when her actions are inconsistent with that image.

From a feminist perspective, the main issue with Lily’s portrayal is not just her lack of development but how her character is used to reinforce the myth of motherhood as the pinnacle of female virtue. Lily is not written as a complex person who makes decisions with nuanced consequences, but as an ideal: the "perfect woman" who is pure, good, just, and whose greatest achievement in life is being a mother and sacrificing herself for her child.

If we were allowed to see Lily with the same depth that male characters like Severus or even James are given, there would be no issue in recognizing that she had both virtues and flaws. But Rowling's narrative does not allow this. We are told that she was perfect—a loyal friend, a just person, incapable of doing anything wrong. However, in practice:

She is the most important person in Snape’s life for years, yet she abandons him without even attempting to understand his perspective after the "Mudblood" incident. It’s not that she wasn’t right to be hurt, but the break is drastic and absolute. She essentially demands that Severus put himself in her shoes, but she doesn’t even try to put herself in his. When he expresses his doubts about the Marauders, she implies that he is obsessive, tells him he should be grateful to his bully, and laughs at the state of his underwear. She knows Severus comes from a poor and abusive background, yet she engages in gaslighting and class shaming. Does this make her a bad person? No, but it does make us question whether she was truly the epitome of morality that the story sells us. And it would be great if the narrative highlighted these inconsistencies, but it doesn’t. Instead, it tells us that Lily is right in her judgments and that she has the right to be highly moralistic, even though she herself exhibits overwhelming double standards.

We are told that James changed, but we are never shown how and why Lily accepted him. We go from seeing her hate him to marrying him with no real transition, and the only explanation is "well, he matured." If a male character had such an abrupt arc, people would call it inconsistent, but in Lily’s case, we are supposed to accept it as normal—because women have traditionally been seen as maternal figures who exist to nurture and fix men. Because a woman’s task is to change and "fix" men. The narrative does not question what this great change in James actually was because simply having Lily choose him is considered enough. And it’s not. If you’ve spent years watching someone be abusive and violent, you don’t just wake up one day and decide that they’ve changed without any real reason. And besides, why should the burden of "fixing" a man or deciding whether he is good or bad fall on a woman? Why objectify women as moral compasses? If a woman chooses you, does that mean you’re good and have changed? Can women not have flaws and be morally questionable themselves—overlooking certain behaviors simply because they don’t care about them as much as they should from an ethical standpoint? Lily is not treated as a person; she is treated as an idol, an idea, a supreme entity. She is dehumanized.

Her sacrifice is presented as the ultimate demonstration of maternal love, but the story reinforces the idea that a mother must sacrifice herself as if that is her only form of heroism. It’s not just that any functional parent would be willing to die for their child because, on a purely biological level, there is an instinct to protect offspring for the survival of the species—it’s also that the narrative reinforces the idea that mothers, specifically, are the most elevated beings because their identity and individuality disappear once they have children. Tonks was Tonks—a character in her own right—but as soon as she gets with Lupin, she becomes an extension of him, and later, she is only defined by being a mother. Narcissa is "evil, evil, evil" until her role as a mother comes to the forefront, and then she is redeemed by the narrative. Molly Weasley is an obnoxious woman, but because she is a devoted mother to her seven children and nothing else, she is seen as the ultimate maternal figure in the saga. Lily is almost treated like a goddess for sacrificing herself for her child. And I ask—what exactly is exceptional about any of this? Isn’t the bare minimum we expect from a reasonably functional adult who chooses to bring life into the world actually taking care of that life? No, it’s not that women are obligated to be good mothers—it’s that J.K. Rowling is obsessed with motherhood and constantly implies that only through it can a woman attain absolute goodness. And I question that. I question whether being a mother is something extraordinary. I say that being a mother is a very normal, common thing, and that any mother or father would do the same as Lily—and if they didn’t, they’d be incredibly selfish people and terrible parents.

The fact that the story glorifies Lily’s death but barely mentions James’s in terms of sacrifice is a clear example of gender bias. James died fighting, but Lily died "as a mother," and that is why she is seen as more noble. Why? Is a father’s love any less valuable? No, but the narrative sells us the idea that a woman must sacrifice herself to be worthy of admiration.

This is a recurring problem in literature and film: mothers are "good" if they are self-sacrificing and devoted. They cannot be selfish, they cannot be ambiguous, they cannot make mistakes without being punished. If Lily had survived and raised Harry, would she have been just as revered? Probably not, because living mothers are judged, while dead mothers are turned into saints.

When the fandom (or even the canon) downplays the sacrifices of others but elevates Lily’s because "she was a mother," what is really being said is that women have no choice: they are no longer women—they are mothers, and the kind of mother they are determines whether they are worthy or not. That is why I like to demystify the idea that what she did was extraordinary—because it wasn’t. It was something any halfway decent mother would do, even if in her daily life she was a terrible person to everyone else. And I don’t like being sold the idea that Lily’s sacrifice excuses everything and makes her a moral and ethical reference point—because being a mother who loved her child does not mean she couldn’t have been an asshole. Women are three-dimensional and complete beings, not one-dimensional.

Recognizing Lily’s flaws is not hating her—it is giving her the same respect we give complex male characters. The problem is that Rowling does not treat her that way: she places Lily on a pedestal of unquestionable perfection and reduces her to just her motherhood. The fact that the story forces her to be a saint makes her actual character fade into the background, and that is both a narrative flaw and a reflection of how society treats women and mothers.

It’s not about "hating Lily" or saying that "her sacrifice was worthless"—it’s about questioning why the story tells us that this sacrifice is the only thing that defines her. If the narrative gave her the same depth as the other characters, this discussion wouldn’t even be necessary.

[iosun]

im too tired to put this elegantly and also not exactly smart enough to be doing transfeminist breakdowns but it does drive me slightly insane seeing people talk about jk rowling as a poor victim of 'brainworms' or someone who was 'lead down the wrong path' instead of like. An active contributor to bigotry and leader of a global movement against trans women

[lockandkeyhyena]

Tricks up my sleeves took YEARS to be completed and they want to pretend they didn't know about the drama until now? After admitting they unfollow anyone who DARES bring up what shitty things ppl in the community are doing?? It's such BS what are yall talking abt them acting reasonably. Have any of you read the actual comment they made, there's a reason they're being so vague about "problematic" stuff the artists did because both drew CP and one of them STILL HAS A PLATFORM. If you replaced problematic artists in their comment with "people who sexualize children" it'd sound insane hence why they're being so vague and weird about it. It's pure manipulation folks!! Also they supported JK Rowling with a drawing for her birthday on twitter and said they "didn't agree with her views" but were still gonna support her. This is that same attitude but for people who did something that is literally ILLEGAL what do u mean reasonable this is one of the worst responses I've seen in my life??

They made it all about "poor me the internet is so mean just bc I put some bad people who did bad things [they rlly don't wanna mention what was actually done LMAO] Im a grown ass adult who thinks I shouldn't have any responsibility to protect my mostly child audience pwease tell me I sound reasonable." We are not rewriting this narrative to be nice to them come on guys.

Their care about the victims to these people is SO PISS POOR, they won't even add A WARNING A WARNING a sentence in the desc saying 'hey these two people suck don't watch if that would upset you'. Then at the same time are telling people to just not watch it if they don't like it? HOW??? IF YOU WON'T WARN THEM WHAT'S IN IT THEY CAN'T AVOID IT?? Almost like admitting they have two abusers in their map would be like... A bad look or something and they care abt that more than others safety or comfort.

Also they deleted my reply to their comment saying all this so no, they're not "being reasonable" this is purely and simply protecting the horrible artists who did that shit. Let's not play devil's advocate for ppl who draw CP please-

jesus christ calm down i was just giving my uninformed opinion on the situation because people asked. did you not see my reply adding that if they purposefully blocked people warning about dangerous people in the fandom, they have no right to complain when people point out that they have unsafe people in their map?

how the fuck did you jump from that to me ‘playing devils advocate for people who draw cp’???

if i sound defensive its because i. am. obviously.

[icaruspartharmony]

I accidently hit post the first time so TAKE 2 BLOG INTRO and EDIT HERE i do update this

Version 3.8, updated Jul. 13, 2024

-Racist, ableist ("dIFFeREnTly AbleD!" Counts as ableist btw), pro cop, zionist, or Xenophobic

Who am i??

Hi!! I'm Joey, Joseph, whatever, but Nik or Icarus are perfectly cool too :) my pronouns page is at the bottom if you wanna scroll down there, there's more info. I live in the United States

DNI

-Transmed, Truscum, Exclus

-Royed (FMA) bakudeku (MHA) shippers

-Transphobic ("CiS iS a SluR") or Homophobic (not agreeing with that lifestyle counts btw)

-"give me money please" centered blogs

-Conservative, or Pro-life, people who call others Narcissists as an insult

Fandoms i sit in

No. 6 (Manga)

NANBAKA (Anime and Manga)

Mp100 (anime)

BSD (Manga)

TPN (anime and manga)

Naruto, Shippuden, Boruto (Animes and mangas)

TBHK (Anime)

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST (Anime and manga, half of 03 and brotherhood.)

The Owl House (show)

Gravity Falls (show)

Homesick, Weak Hero, Lost In Translation, Teenage Mercenary, Flawless, Windbreaker, Eleceed, Brimstone and Roses, City of Blank, Not So Shojo Love Story, Uriah (Webtoons)

Lookism (Webtoon and animated show)

I can talk movies and books 1-7(8) Harry Potter with you but i fucking loathe JK Rowling

Lord of heroes (game)

Haikyuu kinda (anime)

Hunter x Hunter (anime)

IDW Sonic (Comic)

Fruits Basket (Anime)

My Hero Academia (anime)

Dr. Stone (Manga and first season anime)

Howl's Moving Castle (Movie)

Sally Face (Watched Jacksepticeye play it through at ungodly hours of the night, through a podcast on spotify that did videos.)

I'm not a helluva boss/hazbin hotel superfan but i have watched it (Hazbin hotel pilot, know what happens in-series, keeping up with HB). Problematic media, but to each their own ig

Maybe a few more im forgetting

Stuff you might want to know

-this blog will contain swearing, maybe a sex joke here or there, some caps.

-spam likes and reblogs are 100% ok with me. I do that sometimes.

-if you fit my dni or if i fit your dni, i wont take it personal if u block me. Like if you've been my mutual for a year and suddenly block like maybe ill take it a little personal but dont feel obligated to interact or keep interacting.

-i can come off confrontational and as a jerk but im like a bug, im annoying and im more scared of you than you are of me

-im still learning. Everyone is always still learning. I request your patience in this trying time

-im not the brightest bulb in the box.

-i adore asks and questions because i am self centered

-i do take art reqs and i take them very well

-i have a huge interest in music and i do have a lot of character playlists on spotify! If you have a fic in a fandom i like that isn't pure smut, i will likely make you a playlist for it.

-most of my poor spelling and grammar is just set in for personality.

-do not imply or accuse me in that i am a pedophile. Try not make too many lighthearted pedophile jokes with me directly. I have intrusive thoughts and this will occasionally (and frequently) set them off. It's different if humor is your coping mechanism, I'm not gonna tell you how to cope.

Other socials

AO3: JoeyPartHarmony

Discord: JoeyPartHarmony

Spotify: Deeply Unserious1590

Pinterest: @.LivedAndWillMakeItTheBaneOfAll

Feel welcome to reach out at anytime! You're always welcome! Never a bother! Any questions you have are welcomed.

(Dazai's Bolo Tie :])

[arogoldpika123]

Just admit you care more about your poor hurt feelings & nostalgia than trans people being safe

I honestly don't even care about Harry Potter that much

The argument just seems dumb

I don't have hurt feelings

Because jk being a shitty person didn't hurt me

And also I'm not emotionally attached to Harry Potter or most fiction

If Rick Riordan came out as homophobic, I'd still read and love the books

It doesn't hurt me

Im not parasocial with book authors.

Also like

I don't think jk Rowling being a piece of shit is like

Like she's not manhunting Trans people

Shes just a piece of shit and everyone agrees

[thexander2020]

American Patriotism is becoming a unicorn patroness and the only way MAGA will learn is the hard way. Honestly, Im surprised they are allowed to speak their NAZI holocaust denying adjacent rhetoric where they mark in khakis and white t-shirts with Walmart tiki torches chanting "The Jews will not replace us" as if that's some huge revelation or that their march in the middle of nowhere is going to prevent that. I think nature and evolution will take care of that. Jews are like 2% of the population and the white Americans are 70% so I doubt they are replacing anyone.

Yet, here we are. Trump has lost his first indictment for the civil case. Then he got indicted on 37 accounts for literally taking nuclear codes, significant military top secret intelligence on USA strategies, field intelligence, and defense. He sold us out to the highest bidder and they were on the toilet in one of his bathrooms? Mar a Lago became a merry go round for foreign nationals and I dont like it very much.

In fact, I've never really liked him. Except circa 2011 when he was still a tacky gold one hit wonder. It was like a straight Liberace threw up King Midas on accident everywhere Ronald McDaniels Donald went.

But they were like 3 parts to an evil axis of powers determined to set the next 16+ years - 4 years = 12 years of terror upon us. Let use not be coy in thinking for the next cycle of who WHO WANTS TO BE AMERICAS NEXT TOP BOTTOM. We are down to the finals for the GOP and the DNC. The DNC appear to be going with Old Faithful, much to the chagrin of the progressive alliance. Thats only assuming they don't need Gavin doesn't need to step in with his Chariot. Where the hell did he come from anyway. Oh geez, another faux prog in liberal left of center sheets...errr, sheeps clothing. If he's president we will be sipping air through a measured oxygen mask and taxed on the carbon our body admits.

Then there's poor Kamala and Kevin, sitting in a tree, kissing, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. Kevin is not president material, but their plan is see through. Keep their slim majority in the house, they could have won bigger. and regain the Senate with Turkey Knecktucky as the Leader and 'Schmegle Gram or Ounce' was like..."see I knew we would get there, now lets impeach the son of a bitch. they wont know what hit em. or I could do Avadacadavra on him and be jk Rowling all the way to the bank."

[xo-dailypier-blog]

this is not a recap;

     hey cumguzzlers,

It has come to my attention that Lady X took it upon herself to rate the nether regions of the men of Santa Monica. Unfortunately her assessment was BIASED and hardly based on facts. So as a JOURNALIST, I have taken it upon myself to get to the TRUTH. Today will be a Top 9 list of the men in this town, and their BEDROOM PERFORMANCES.

I’m not revealing actual sizes, because I firmly believe that it’s all about the motion of the ocean. And if you think I’m giving a run down on every SCRUB in this town, you’re out of your mind! I WISH I could have made this a Top 10 but most of the guys on Lady X’s assessment, have already been exposed in the fuck hut tapes during Summer Crush, and honestly? Don’t even make the cut for the top 5. Like, we KNOW the #DemonDick is low-key worth the hype (BUT YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM IT BECAUSE HELLO? IT RUINED TWO RELATIONSHIPS IN LIKE THE SPAN OF A DAY! AND IM SURE THE BUCK DOESNT STOP THERE!), and we GET IT, Adam has a massive ROD, and I’m sure (Power Top) Asher, his brother, isn’t that far off. Vic IS well endowed AND can make things EROTIC. And we all know about Jack, who is also well endowed but has, like, erectile dysfunction or whatever. Oh, and don’t forget Daddy Sorrentino is obvs a beast in the sheets, but I’ve been telling you guys that since, like, ever. And I’m honestly on a Jamie/Cunty Sabbatical atm, they’re going through a difficult time after Cunty cheated, so who really needs their dick-info broadcasted on top of all that, ya know? (Cunty deff comes in at an alleged 9 inches, which is bigger than Jamie, BUT he (Cunty) never uses his junk on Jamie because, like Asher, Jamie is a Power Top. (but you didn’t hear this from me). Look, if any guy is left off the list that you have interest in, like, just ask Phobe. I’m sure she’ll know.

But before we get started, Congratulations are in order! You guys voted on Hottie of the Moment, and we have a winner!

It’s none other than Miss Fraudi Zirconium herself (@heidistarks​) The queen of bargains has stormed onto the scene in her Wild Fable Couture and has CAPTIVATED the hearts of all Santa Monicans. In honor of her win, I am giving everyone a $25 gift card to Claire’s! If you go to their website and use offer code SharkThot, you too, can get the Heidi Look. When asked about her recent accomplishment she had this to say:

"It's about fucking time." - Fraudi Zirconium Stark, 2019

Congratulations, again Fraudi! You go girl, work that Forever 21 tracksuit, bitch!

NINE - ALEC CLARKE @alecxclarke​

One of the wangs in question that Lady X TOUCHED ON was Alec Clarke. She mentioned that Alec was more than likely LACKING in the his SOUTHERN MEAT DEPARTMENT. So obvs i had a BONE to pick with this assessment because Alec’s fan base is GETTING UP there with Jamie Carter’s so we have to know what he got in them jeans. Sadly ... while his junk is fine. His way around the bedroom is is abysmal, I honestly thought it was a PHALL-ACY but one girl who is one of his past flings, wrote to me after seeing Lady X’s post. She has asked to remain anonymous...

Hey DP (and Lady X),

I saw your post about Alec and you’re wrong about his size. He’s actually pretty girthy and lengthy or whatever. But he is honestly one of my worst encounters. We met on a dating app, that shall remain nameless. So fast forward to sexy time, and once we started making out it was a tragedy! No tongue, no passion. It was like kissing a mcfucking corpse! His lips were like, so dry, but, whatever, that’s not the problem. Once I started giving him a blow jay he just randomly burst into tears, and said he couldn’t do it anymore, and asked if I wanted to play fucking Yahtzee. I left and bought Listerine. I think you should look into if he is like this with all the girls, instead of his size. Bc that’s the real tea. Anyways, Love the Blog! Kisses!

Its always such a disappointment when this happens. OBVIOUSLY our HoneyBun Alec has some issues to work on. I know he has a Crazy life but I didn’t think things were this HARD for him.

Overall Rating: N/A

Favorite Position: Again, N/A. I could hardly find girls who’ve had sex with him ................. INCHresting. (Ok, that was the last one).

Downside: I mean, Hello? He breaks out in tears mid-coitus! He IS the downside!

Alec! Write into us with your side of the story! I prom (half a promise) that I won’t believe the rumors. Love ya, Honey Bun!

EIGHT - SKYLER DAVIS @skylerxdavis​

No idea where Lady X got the idea that he had the biggest LOVE MISSLE in town, but it is absolutely FALSE. And in fact, what I’ve heard about his performance in the bedzzzZzZzZzzzzzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzZzZzzzz ZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Overall Rating: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Favorite Position: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Downside: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Alleged Body Count: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

SEVEN - NOAH SINCLAIR @nhsinclair​

So next on the list is Noah Sinclair. This one will be brief, because it really threw me for a loop. So I’m sorry to report, that Noah has a Chode. I know. I’m actually crying while typing this but this is only the word on the street, so take it with a grain of salt.

“Darla” (fake name) wrote in to my blog to refute Lady X’s claims. She writes:

I’ve had half way sex with Noah one time and when he dropped his pants I literally laughed. Not to body shame or whatever, but I, like, couldn’t have sex with him because the condom didn’t fit. Sorry, didn’t have a Trojan Jr readily available? He’s good with his hands though.

So Noah has made the list in a sad and unfortunate entry. So ladies if you want Noah to DIP his NUGGET in YOUR sauce, you better make your move!

Maybe this is why he got that divorce. Ugh, poor Natasha. Let’s hope this is all a rumor, I would hate for it to be true.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (The hand thing is kind of important).

Favorite Position: Noah’s Nugget Number (No clue what this means, ask Diana or Natasha).

Downside: There is no downside if you, like myself, are privy to a good Nugget or two. #RanchPlease

MOVING ON!

SIX - LOGAN LANCASTER @loganlancaster​

Our next entry is none other than Long Dick Logan Lancaster. According to Lady X, Logan is average. Well I’m here to let you know that, thankfully, LDL lives up to his name (no nuggets here!). But you guys would have to get with him to truly find out how #blessed he is.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: Alligator Fuckhouse, according to sources. (DON’T Google it, live in ignorance).

Downside: The only reason, ya boi has gotten 4 stars instead of 5 is because of the rumors surrounding his hygiene. As we know, there’s been a debate on the internet about washing your legs. And Logan, an able bodied man, doesn’t do that. Nor does he take showers the way that he should. Many girls who’ve been with him have complained of smelling the stinch of onions and mildew while ENGAGING with him. Others have complained of a SALTY taste while going down on him. Most of the girls he’s BANGED have all been in the junkyard of his Auto Shop or whatever so maybe it’s a fetish for them? That’s no excuse for bringing that nasty ass behavior to every other girl in Santa Monica.

Thankfully a bunch of you have been sending body wash to his shop, so maybe we can LanCAST the mustiness away (If this is true).

Logan, please write in, I need to know the truth. But other than that, the dick is BOMB! But make sure you don’t over-do it on B.J. part though, sodium intake is v important and you wouldn’t want to get hypertension suckling on his salty ass COCK.

FIVE - EMRE YOGIOH @emre--yavuz

Ok, so next on the list is Emre Yugoslavia (or whatever his name is). Ok so ... buckle in ladies.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: The Lion King (I’m serious, don’t Google these things).

Downside: Ok, so Emre is supposedly into bondage. Which totally makes sense since he’s like, repressed from childhood. The whole missing sister thing really took a toll on his psych, since he’s parents totes forgot about him. Now he YEARNS for control. So the word is that he’s basically Christian Grey but not a literal abuser. He’s into bondage, slapping, SPITTING, choking, flogging, and whips and chains EXCITE HIM. An S&M Daddy! Now the only reason this is in the Downside section is because it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Some girls find it disturbing, and others are totes into it. I’m the latter! Sign me the FUCK up! Choke me with those strong REPRESSED hands.

I noticed he and Olivia have been friendly recently, let’s hope she knows that she’ll be walking side to side after a night with him (no, but like, because of the flogging, not the dick). Once he’s done with those spread sheets at his hoity-toity big boy job, spread sheets take on a whole new meaning once the dawn comes. You go Emre Yahooligan! #callme

FOUR - DEVIN FLORES @devinxflores

First of all, I just want to give a big thanks to all of you for letting me call him Devin TORRES for the past few MONTHS like a complete MORON! I really appreciate you guys letting me disgrace the future KING of Santa Monica in such a terrible way! No really, you guys are the best. I love my fans <3.

Anyways, it’s well known that Devin and his Alaskan Bull Worm have burrowed through the city. Both the men and women alike have survived the DF experience, with ZERO complaints .... well, except for one ...

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: The Charizard (ONCE again, don’t Google. Just know that it involves fire ... And we aint talking about lighting no candles (which he allegedly seems to enjoy, how romantic!)).

Downside: As we have witnessed, Devin is a complete and total klutz! He is always getting himself into a bullshit that is literally all his fault. Didn’t he glue something to his head a few weeks ago -- actually, you know what? That’s not important. What I was getting at is, the main complaint about DaddyDevinFLORES is that during SACX the klutz JUMPS OUT. He has been rumored to have smacked his head on the headboard whilst switching positions (causing him to go UNCONSCIOUS for SEVERAL HOURS, which completely RUINS the mood). One of his Encounters even claimed that during a Romantic Toast of Wine, he clinked the glass so hard it broke and and SHARDS of GLASS went into his hands, causing him to bleed INSTANTLY. What the fuck, Devin?

How could someone who can handle balls so well out on the soccer court, not be able to handle them in the bedroom without accidentally falling out of a window in the process?

Ladies and Gents, much like Emre, Devin will have you walking Side to Side, but if it happens you might be suffering from brain damage after falling in the shower whilst trying to have sex with him. Please seek professional help immediately.

THREE - BERNBERN<3 @carverberncrd

Coming in at Number 3 is none other than Heidi’s personal play thing! We’ve seen his bulge through his Under Armour spanks, so Of Course I had to do a little research to find out the Lipton on HIS heat-seeker. I’ve reached out to his past flings and came to a general consensus.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The women I interviewed all confirmed he is an excellent LAY, so once again, I was right. BernBern<3 outsold your favs.

Favorite Position: Doggystyle (obvi)

Downside: He’s a Taurus so while he will indeed fuck you into a state of paralysis, it’s only to reach his Hedonistic Quota for the evening. He probs won’t even remember your name once he’s done, let alone learn it in the first place. So don’t get attached<3.

His star sign also explains his relationship with Fraudi. Not only are they both so annoyingly stubborn, but Two tops can rarely make it in a relationship. Just ask Ash — never mind. (Omg, btw Idk WHY everyone keeps asking. YES, the rumors are true! BernBern<3 gets pegged, but only by Heidi, it’s actually a testament to his masculinity and how he’s reached the apex of it at this point. But this is all old tea. So I guess Julian isn’t the only #DemonDick in the Stark Fam, Surprise?). Anyways, I ship them, but they get on my fucking nerves! They can’t even admit their undying love for each other, which is so obvious. But this isn’t about #Berni (working ship name), BernBern<3 has a massive COCK (and heart) and it has landed itself on the Top of the list.

TWO - SINRIQUE @itsenriqueaguilar

This one came as a surprise to me because I have no idea who this is. But yalls asses do! So here we have Enrique Aguilar, coming in at number 2 because of the OUTPOUR of receipts on the TALLY WACK ATTACK that he PACKS.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: You know, there wasn’t a general consensus, he’s a man FULL of surprises.

Downside: No, you don’t understand, there is literally no downside. Look, here is a letter from one of the women he’s slept with. For reasons, you will understand REAL soon, this person has been kept anonymous.

Dear DP,

It’s been approximately 1 year, two months, 9 days, 5 hours, and 46 seconds since I Locked Eyes with Enrique from across a crowded room. That night would go to be on of the most invigorating, tantalizing, and romantic experiences of my life. But when I woke up the following morning HE was gone. I long for the day I see him again. My heart Aches at the thought of him with another women. Giving her the same love that HE gave to ME. I need you to understand that I was a grade A student at my university (4.0). I had an paid internship at an elite institution that OWULD HAVE LED ME INTO A PROMISING CAREER! BUT AFTER THAT NIGHT I BECAME RAVENOUS. I NEEDED MORE. AND IT CONSUMED ME! EVENTUALLY I LOST MY INTERN BECAUSE I STOPPED SHOWING UP! I FLUNKED OUT OF SCHOOL BECAUSE I DIDN’T CARE ANYMORE. I SEARCHED YOU ON ALL SOCIAL MEDIA BUT I COULDN’T FIND YOU! ENRIQUE I NEED YOU BACK IN MY LIFE! JUST FOR ONE MORE NIGHT! PEASE I KNOW YOU’RE OUT THERE! CALL ME AT [redacted]

Obviously Ivy, sent this in ... kidding (But honestly though? They did used to date, which ... yikes ... Good to know Daddy Rique has no standards, maybe we all have a chance. #shade #clapback #scalpt)

Anyways, I’ll have to keep an eye on this one, he seems to have a good head on his shoulders ... AND good head on his shoulders OKURRRRRR!!!

ONE - SEBASTIAN DELGADO @bashdelgado

That nerd that sat in the back of the classroom brainstorm his next nerdy ass invention with high-watered khakis, and orthopedic shoes in like, the ninth grade (because he was focused on Arch Support???????). That’s him, Sebastian Delgado. And Baby Daddy Bash has DITCHED the NERD LOOK and is now ready to SNATCH YOUR CAT BACK.

I’m sure everyone is just surprised as I am. But hey, they don’t call him “Bash” for nothing (except for the fact that it’s a shortened version of his name). He’s totes Bashing Puss with his MONSTROUS MEAT TRUNCHEON (and Buss?? Sebastian contact me about your sexuality).  

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: Missionary, he’s a man of passion and likes to stare DEEP into your eyes. #swoon #romantic #westan

Downside: Well if you HATE Love and AFFECTION, this one is not the one for you. Not only does he have a GINORMOUS, UN-NUGGETED MEAT SEPTOR/LAP ROCKET/VAGINA MINER, which, by the way, last a LONG time, He is EXCELLENT BOYFRIEND Material! He’s caring, patient, kind, resourceful, loyal, and he is well on his way to becoming a multi-millionaire -- which is NOT the reason he is number one! Money is not the goal here ladies (and guys? Seriously Sebastian, I need to know what’s up).  

Sebastian is the complete package and he has ALL of the other guys in this town QUAKING!

So Stan A True Man. Stan .... Sebastian.

And that, my friends, ends the TRUE tea on the wangs in this town. This was fun while it lasted, but I have some COCKtails that need my attention (ok, maybe THAT was the last one).

xo, DP

[apotter]

it's beyond me that some people think that the author who wrote HARRY POTTER - a book about aCCEPTANCE - is behind a chair saying "muahaha im making nagini an asian woman 'cause I hate asians, i'm so evil!!!" like it was her choice

I know, people think she’s the goddess of casting decisions. Also, people probably didn’t make that association like… I honestly think it was an honest mistake? Idk man, people can’t make mistakes anymore nowadays.  

[lunatic-fandom-space]

This is kindof random but this is a thought ive had for a long time and I wanna share it

Why the fuck are there four hogwarts houses when two of them are blatantly irrelevant and the third one only exists to provide generic ass bully characters

When I was like 11 or 10 I watched the second or third harry potter movie with my class at school and it inspired to come up with a fantasy school story of my own. (Now the actual worldbuilding was more based on Winx Club and The School of Good and Evil which were basically the only other fantasy school stories i knew and liked at the time but whatever)

So i dreamt up my cool magic school and i did a house system just like in Harry Potter except there were only two: The Good One for all my typical goody two shoes protags and The Evim One for all my way more interesting edgy side characters that would inevitably join the main cast

Thats literally all you need. She shouldve made a fucking House of Light Magic and then a House of Dark Magic, thats way less nonsensical and pointless and I feel like its the way more obvious for a kids book (and dont give me that "oh shes british thats what the schools there are like" shit, only weird private british bording schools are like that and Im pretty sure those are expensive as hell and if I remember correctly JKRs family was never really well off so)

I was gonna end the post there but I gotta ramble abt something more personal as well

The reason i know abt JKs family being poor probably is that I was in a writing club/workshop type thing last in 2021 and during one of our biweekly meetings we just watched a documentary about her and all i took away from it was that JKR is so unimaginative of a writer that she could only come up with the concept of evil creatures that suck all the happiness out of you until you want to kill yourself after she experienced depression herself and like, not to brag but I actually came up with that exact same concept when I was like 8 and barely aware of both Harry Potter and what it meant to be unhappy

Am I saying that Im a better writer than Joanne K Rowling? Not when I was 8, but for sure now. Like, ive watched and read a shitton of Harry Potter reviews that include passages of her writing and its all just bad or mediocre and theres so much of it to the point where im like, ohhhhhhh i see why she got rejected from publishers 12 times. Do i realize that bad writing tends to get included in reviews more often because its fun to mock, thereby skewing my perception of her writing? Yes. Im still very confident Im better though. If you put me up against JK and went "both of you have a week to write a short story from scratch, any topic, any length" I would eviscerate that old woman until she starts crying and calling me transphobic slurs for sure

[exai]

been seeing a bunch of posts lately arguing about how (and im paraphrasing here) “nobody cares” about jk rowling being racist, ableist, antisemitic, etc and people only focus on her transmisogyny and it’s really doing my head in lol.

like yeah absolutely i think she’s a horrible person and arguably has always been a mean-spirited, contemptuous, overly litigious woman with little to no empathy for any poor person despite having lived in poverty herself bc she presumably drank a full keg of the pulling yourself by the bootstraps kool aid. of course the full extent of her bigotry is in full display in her works, whether it’s harry potter or her other weirdo books, or even the fucking fantastic beasts movies. i don’t think anyone on here really is arguing otherwise in good faith.

but anyway, it fucks me up that the metric for “people caring” for folks on here is essentially “how many notes a post about her *insert laundry list of bigotry that isnt transmisogyny* got VS how many notes posts about her transmisogyny got”. like are you out of your fucking mind. are you okay. do you understand how ridiculous that sounds.

you know why i think that actually, in the year 2021, it’s probably more important to talk about her very public transmisogynistic endeavours? it’s because as one of the richest people in the UK she actually holds tremendous power to actively and directly harm ALL trans people, but especially trans women. the reality is that she has the power to influence laws, or if not that, wide, mainstream public opinion on trans people. her writing bad characters and being a weirdo in her books isnt gonna make being asian illegal in the UK lol. but her going on deranged rants about trans women on her GIGANTIC platforms? well...

i think people are allowed to and absolutely should talk about the layers of bigotry she operates on, because in the end it is perfectly in line with the wider truth that terfs are inherently ultra-conservative and would rather align themselves with The Worst People You Can Think Of than to think that maybe trans people deserve basic human rights and empathy.

but to say that people talking specifically about her transmisogyny on the micro-blogging website tumblr being a sign of them “not caring as much” for other forms of bigotry, ignoring completely the current context of where the UK and the wider world is at regarding trans rights in 2021, is fucking ridiculous.

[korobizaka]

the most annoying thing about the whole depp situation thing is that the minute that you express that you support amber its “wHaT aBouT maLE vicTUIMS?!?!?!”

as if these people even care about women victims anyways LMAO? do they care that josh brolin was arrested for domestic assault against diane lane?? do they care that pam anderson was beat by tommy lee while carrying her infant child, or are they the kind of people who make fun of her and call her a bimbo?

and then do these people actually CARE about men who step up about their abuse?? did they support terry crews and brandon fraser or mock them? do they condem and spew the same vitriol they did to amber heard as they did to kevin spacey, who assaulted and raped minors?? or do they are like “oh yeah he suckss!! but his acting is still amazing i love his movies!!!” and keep him up on this pedestal? do they care that one supporter of depp, emma roberts, was arrested herself for domestic abuse of evan peters?

i believe men can be victims of domestic abuse of course! i believe ioan gruffudd and his girlfriend were harassed by his abusive ex-wife! i believe women can be abusers and perpetrators of assault! another VOCAL supporter of depp is naomi campbell who has been accused of assault 11 times, and convicted on 4 of those occasions! depp truly has some upstanding people who are supporting him, and are totally not trying to uphold this man who is guilty of violence so their own histories can be whitewashed :)

i dont think i need to really go into detail about how fucking stupid you all are to prop up ONE chopped up audio file leaked by depp’s lawyer to youtuber as DEFINITIVE evidence that amber was the abusive one. like im sorry but if you still come to that conclusion despite all evidence, you are deeply stupid. a woman who is having a breakdown after being abused for years, trying to get her husband sober and failing. ignore all the context of a woman being raped and abused by the man she loves for years for the GOTCHA soundbite. you are the teacher who punishes the child who punches back after being abused by bullies for years. that is not “mutual bullying” like people are trying to frame the situation as “mutual abuse” now.

amber heard was abused by depp, and documented all of this. she has SO much more evidence than most abuse victims. what more would you need to prove that she was a victim? a video of her getting RAPED and BEAT? and what do you think an abusive man would do if he found his victim to be recording this? she documented everything and divorced him before #metoo even began. so how on earth would it be possible for her to have developed this elaborate take down prior to the marriage BEFORE THE MOVEMENT EVEN EXISTED?

you all are so desperate to perpetuate the misogynistic idea of a devious, evil woman manipulating poor old beloved actor that you don’t see how stupid your whole argument is. studios were more than willing to cast him until he stupidly sued the sun in the first place and lost his court case. he even got his GLOWING endorsement from jk rowling right beforehand LMAO. amber heard did NOT damage his career, he did by being drunk and unprofessional.

have you partaken in the same vile, vitriolic hate campaigns against MALE abusers, or did you only keep this energy for amber heard?

[lizardsister]

you know outside of all the Other Stuff wrong with harry potter & jk rowling, reading those books growing up as an incredibly poor kid in a family struggling constantly to make ends meet having the main character be a rich kid who was constantly like "damn sucks my best friend is so poor and his family barely get by. i'd love to help them but alas im sure they JUST wouldn't accept me giving them any of my vast amounts of horded wealth :/" was genuinely so insulting

[apocraphelion]

i cant figure out how “supporting jk rowling” is supposed to matter. like, sure dont directly give her money, but people keep acting like theres anything beyond that that matters? I have talked to so many people over the last year who have legitimately found out From Me that jkr is a terf. these are trans allies, good people, who just Aren’t in the social circles that are talking about these things.

people engaging with hp fan content really isnt the problem. everyone in the Serious fan communities knows and has drawn their line: either they know and they are a terf themself or they dont care, OR they know and they disagree with where to draw the line of what is “harmful”. talk to your boring cousin. call your cringey aunt and tell Her about jkr. befriend people who arent in social justice circles! People Do Not Know that jkr is terf unless theyre in our same internet bubble already.

but beyond all that. the harry potter movies are produced by warner bros. this whole boycott of jkr obviously hasnt worked over the past however many years, so maybe we need to up our game. boycott warner bros. 

anyway im too poor to not buy food made by slave labor, unsafe factory conditions, and farms that abuse migrant workers. so i dont know that my reblogging a harry potter post to my 250ish followers who all know that i am trans is somehow.... worse???

so yes theres a new thing or whatever, please dont see it, but when someone mentions it, ask if they know about jkrowling being a terf. dont accuse, just, ask, and aim to inform them. suggest that they tell other people. tell them that can make their own choice what to do with that information, but that she is hurting people and you want to make sure they Get to decide what to do with that knowledge.

[vampirecheesecakee]

Hogwarts allows pets correct?

Like from what i know its mainly cats, toads and owls but i have read a fic or two with a bunnie or snek but idk how true those are but thats besides to point.

Wtf happens when the pets get sick?

Like would you take your pet to madam pomfrey when it gets sick? Maybe it accidentally got into a potion you had to make? Someone hexed it?

Ive never read the books (i plan to im just poor) so maybe jk wrote about this?

Are their wizard vetranarians? Their has to be! I need to know about this. Please harry potter expert's i need to know.

Just dont ask Rowling herself, she no longer owns harry potter. Harry potter is ours now.

Jk Rowling whom? Never heard of the bitch.

[nonbinarygerard]

i literally am writing so many fics right now its a problem and im gonna tell u all about them bc who else do i have to tell.

my t4t vampire x vampire hunter college and they are roomates omg they are rooomates. enemies to lovers <33 frank, the vampire hunter, gets top surgery and the vamp gerard needs to nurse him back to health. frank has no real proof that gerard is vampire but is very into the occult and well its kinda obvious. gerard can just possess people and constantly just fucks with frank. also gerard just steals T gel to lather on their body bc they are a vamp and they cant do the a doctor, and poor transmasc nb gerard wants top surgery and doesnt know how to get it :((( this is the one ive just started but its such a banger, it was meant to be a one shot  but i think its gonna be 20k+ words but i just love it

necromancer x demon. frank is just chilling in the astral plane as u do, he is a very well known witch, specialize in death magick, and a trans demon called gerard contacts him and they are like i need u to find someone who for me and frank is like only if u get me a hearing with satan. so true frank, he wants to be immortal i get that. its based of real witchcraft, im kinda becoming a witch bc its the coolest thing ever. im writing this for the preternatural bandom challege (well probs it might be too long idk)

dorian gray frerard fic, which is really about what it means to be an openly queer artist in the twenty first century and have all ur art be about queerness and ur relationships. i had it on ao3 but the prose were old and real bad. im always editing it and i like to think of this as my magnum opus. the fic that will be done in the next 10 years bc every word has be perfect. the prose has to sound like a contemporary painting, a meshing on the old and the new. i think about it all the time but i have to be a better writer to write it

butch4butch lesbian romcom. a banger, the most lesbian thing ever written in my opinion, its like frank is shane from the L word and her butch lesbian best friend of many years Gerard has declared that they are “going hetero” and now engaged to marry a man in three weeks and frank is like what the fuck do u just say??? ur a butch lesbian??  this one is about 40k words ive written most of the first draft, im just editing it. some chapters have been beta read. this will be the first chapter fic i publish. im gonna write it all before i publish so i can change things i need to.

my nb4nb model x photographer fic. its about goths, punks, life, death. u know a mediation on art and life. queerness and art and integrity. its like about things. its more of a character study. this is meant to be a one shot bc like i think i might have made it to long again

sapphic magic school au. my baby <333 frank is a nb butch lesbian necromancer and gee is a bisexual transfem half-vampire. its more of a contemporary epic fantasy, like the world building is very intense. you paint magic, u change the perception of the world not the actual world itself. frank is like obsessed with the old masters and that how they paint spells. the plot is kinda up in the air right now i have like 10k words written but i dont think its what i want to write and i need to world build some more. its a real slow burn. like this will be my long affffff fic. its more about frank, gee, mikey, ray and their adventures than just about frerard u know its there. also mikey is a massive repressed homo its hilarious imo

good omens inspired but they overthrow the gods lmao as u do. frank is crowley and gerard is azriphale i really wrote a revolution into my mcr fic haha bc why not. i started writing it years ago but this would be a hard one to write like its kinda more the left hand of darkness but if crowley and azriphlae were in it

pride and prejudice but its a modern emo retelling IM JUST SAYING. okay so i started writing it but wolfstar but jk rowling sucks also i know rpf fanfics are kinda weird (as i write so many i know im aware but i am just so in the mcr fandom) but idk what other fandom to write it in

i have more lmao but ill stop there didnt mention my orlando au, tattoo fic, or pixie fic. some more off the top of my head. i have too many fucking ideas and i need to finish my wips and publish them.

also omg my buying a boyfriend fic so true now that is a one shot

[bush-viper-cutie]

“The Grim Attacks” || YEAR 3 – Ch.35 (HP au)

                              Chapter List

<-- Last Chapter                          Next Chapter -->

Day posted: 12/15/2020

Word count: 3, 393

Relationship: EVENTUAL severus X oc (slow burn)

Rating: E for everyone

Warnings: none

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A/N: This is my first fan fic I’m writing mainly as a way to practice. This is a retelling of the hp books with an inserted character. Although most every character will be written about, this is mostly for the pro snape fandom. Please do not fear, although this is a severus x oc story, it is an incredibly slow burn as I do not intend for them to get together at all until after the final book events. Chapters will be posted twice a week.

This derivative work follows the events of the Harry Potter books by Jk Rowling and is intended as a fun way to practice my writing. Thank you for reading :D

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Hagrid started pushing them away from the window and towards his back door. “Yeh gotta go! They mustn’ find yeh here – out the back, out the back.”

Heather threw the cloak over everyone as Hagrid pushed them out the door into his back garden. Buckbeak looked up at Hagrid from the center of the pumpkin patch and chirped.

“Good Beaky… I’ll be righ’ back… I promise,” Hagrid’s voice broke and he cleared his throat. “Now get goin’ yeh four.”

Harry pulled the cloak over his head. “We can’t leave. . .”

Ron stuck his head out too. “We can tell them what really happened. They can’t kill him – it’s not fair.”

Hagrid sniffed and pulled the cloak back over their heads. “Nothin’ no one can do now. Don’t worry, alrigh’? Beaky knows how much yeh four care about ‘im – I’ll tell ‘im again. Don’t yeh worry no more. Now go,” Hagrid said fiercely. “No point in you lot gettin’ in trouble fer this too.” He stepped back into his hut and shooed them away with his hand.

They turned and shuffled out around the left of his hut as Professor Dumbledore, Fudge, and the executioner, Macnair, knocked on Hagrid’s door on the opposite side. They waited until they heard the front door open and close with a snap before setting off back to the castle in a slow silent trance. Even Scabbers kept still in Ron’s pocket as they climbed over the sloping lawn.

They stopped at the highest hill and looked down at Hagrid’s small shack. Only a single large pumpkin was visible over the curve of the hut’s roof from their distance. Hermione was sniffling as the last of the sun reflected off something shiny in Hagrid’s back garden. The shiny object lifted higher, and dipped back down behind the roof in a fast swoop.

A thick thud echoed over the grounds.

“No,” Heather sobbed and hugged Harry tight.

He hugged her back and pressed his eyes into her shoulder. Macnair’s axe had undoubtedly cut clean and swiftly. Heather pulled back and placed a hand on Hermione, who was clinging onto Ron, sobbing hard.

There was a howl in the distance. Poor Fang must be so upset to lose a friend, and to see Hagrid in such a sad state as well… Heather wanted to burst into loud uncontrollable cries but held herself together, clinging onto Harry’s arm.

Ron wiped his tears and grumbled. “Scabbers – stop moving! Ow – Someone’ll hear you.” Ron pushed Hermione away and wrestled with his pocket.

“We’ve got to go,” said Hermione, wiping away a tear. “Dumbledore’ll be out any minute to walk Fudge and Macnair off the grounds.”

Ron shook his head. “Well he – won’t – stay – down – ”

Heather couldn’t keep her eyes off the hut as the sun finally dipped below the trees, and the deep purple set over the whole of Hogwarts. As Ron struggled with a clearly terrified Scabbers, Harry pulled on Heather’s sweater sleeve.

She looked over at him, and saw, in the reflection of his glasses, the wide yellow eyes of Crookshanks, slinking out from the shadows of a nearby bush, slowly approaching the high pitched squeals of Ron’s rat.

“Oh, Crookshanks!” Hermione gasped. “No, no, get out of here. Not now!”

Ron fought harder to keep Scabbers down in his pocket, but it was too late. Crookshanks jumped onto the cloak, knocking them all down.

“Ow! He bit me!” Ron screamed. “Scabbers – NO !”

The rat had wriggled free in all the commotion, and was now bounding away as fast as possible while Hermione held onto Crookshanks tightly. Before Harry or Heather could stop him, Ron had thrown the invisibility cloak off himself and bolted after Scabbers into the darkening night.

“Ron!” they all yelled after him.

Crookshanks vaulted after its prey. Harry threw the cloak off of them and the three of them ran after them, wands lit. They could hear the clacks of rocks hitting against other rocks as they tumbled on the path ahead and the distant shouts at Crookshanks.

“Stay away! Leave him alone! – Get – Scabbers this way!”

They ran onto a grassy part, following Ron’s shouts and heard a thud.

“Gotcha! Get away before I kick you!”

They slowed as their wand lights illuminated a grass-stained Ron clutching Scabbers to his chest and kicking madly at Crookshanks.

Heather panted. “Ron, get up – We need to get back to the cloak before – ”

Hermione screamed and pointed at a dark mass hurdling towards them with inch-long teeth bright and bared up to the gums. “The Grim!” she shouted.

They ran towards Ron but jumped back as the giant jet-black dog leapt between them and growled ferociously, saliva pooling under it.

Heather aimed her wand, “Alarte Ascendare!”

The hound jumped out of the way as the purple flames shot out of Heather’s wand and hit Crooshanks, sending him ten feet into the air. The massive hound sprang towards Heather, mouth aimed at her wand.

“Flipendo!” she panicked.

Sparks erupted and the dog was knocked back behind Ron and howled as Crookshanks landed claws down onto it.

Harry ran forwards and grabbed Ron’s arms, trying to pull him up before the dog could get its bearings back. The hound shook its head and clamped onto Ron’s leg, dragging him back quickly.

“Ron!” Heather and Hermione grabbed hold of Harry’s waist and pulled, but it was Ron who let go of Harry hand.

“AHH!” Ron let himself be dragged back, the pain in his leg too great to have held onto Harry for much longer.

They ran to keep up with Ron, but he was being pulled away too fast to keep up with, as if he weighed nothing more than a few lumps of feathers. Harry dove forward to catch Ron’s outstretched hands and missed by an inch.

“Harry!” Ron whimpered as he was dragged down towards the base of a large trunk, down between a gap in its enormous roots, into a hole.

Harry looked up as the Whomping Willow curled its thick branches ready to smash him into the ground.

Heather and Hermione grabbed hold of each of Harry’s legs and pulled him back seconds before the tree pounded the ground with all its strength.

Harry stood and fixed his glasses. “Ron!”

No answer.

Heather shined her wand brighter at the hole they hadn’t ever noticed before. No one ever dared go near the tree – they were probably the only to have ever gotten so close to the Whomping Willow, except for last year when they had crashed into it. No one would risk getting pummeled to death.

“Harry,” Heather breathed. “This is – the – Fred and George mentioned the Whomping Willow was planted over one of the secret passages.”

“What does that mean!” Hermione cried. “That Ron’s being dragged out of Hogwarts?! Where does it go! I told you three – I told you to hand the map over to – !”

“We don’t have time!” Harry hissed. He stepped forward, trying to spot an opening between the pounding branches.

Heather pulled him back before he could dash forward. “Harry! Are you mad?”

Hermione was anxiously dancing around. “Think! Think!”

Crookshanks, who had been sitting next to Hermione swishing its tail, trotted towards a big knot on the willow’s trunk and pressed it in. The tree immediately stopped moving and held its branches frozen in place.

Hermione gasped. “How did – ”

“They’re friends. They walk the grounds together.” Harry glared at Hermione, as if further accusing her of owning a monster of a cat.

Crookshanks slithered between the roots and slid down the gap. They covered the distance within seconds and crawled into the hole. First Harry, then Hermione, and Heather last, keeping her wand in hand, just in case.

Eventually the tunnel became large enough to stand in, and they did, holding their wands out and ready. They walked on fast but silently, listening intently to every sound of the cave.

It felt like the first time Harry and her had gone into the witch’s tunnel. The same eeriness of what lurked in the shadows made Heather’s throat tight as her heart pounded like crazy in her ears. The dog, Sirius Black, Ron… It could be anything waiting for them just beyond.

“W-what if this is how Sirius Black lures us to him?” Heather’s voice trembled. “What if that’s his dog and – and Ron’s the bait?”

Hermione sniffed.

“Then we get Ron back and – and you two take him to the castle.”

“And you’ll what, Harry? Fight him alone? Kill him yourself?” Hermione sobbed. “He’ll hurt you and then it won’t just be Ron who we need to worry about.”

Heather nodded, though no one could see her. “Harry, we’re not leaving you. So don’t make us stay any longer than we have to.”

They stayed silent the rest of the way. The tunnel felt longer than the one to Hogsmeade, and Heather wondered if they would pop up around there, and in which shop – if it was a shop at all – or . . . or the home of Voldemort, brought back by his most devoted servant. Heather shook her head, remembering what Professor Lupin had said.

Harry’s footsteps picked up, and they were now sprinting down the tunnel as it sloped up. They stopped below what was dim light seeping out from a wooden square. They caught their breath and together pushed the wooden board up. They pulled themselves out of the opening and rolled onto the dust-covered floorboards of a long-abandoned room.

The room was greyed from all the dust, and the furniture was all smashed to pieces – though none looked newly-broken. Cobwebs covered the ceiling and weaved between the cracked railings of stairs across the room.

“Could this be – ”

“The Shrieking Shack,” Heather cut Hermione off.

“Nowhere but out or up,” Harry pointed at the boarded up door and broken stairs.

“Up,” Hermione whispered.

They held their wands up and made their way to the stairs, wincing at every creak and groan of the steps. They heard thumps coming from one of the rooms, and a loud groan.

“Knox.”

“Knox,” Heather and Hermione followed Harry’s lead.

The hallway went dark, and a deep creaking echoed throughout. The two closed door in the hallway groaned while the one at the far end swung ajar and back closed as the wind seeping through the old wood of the house and swept through the rooms. They crept forward and stopped, listening to a loud purring coming from beyond the last door. They exchanged a last look and nodded together, ready with wands up and pointed.

Harry took a deep breath and kicked the door open. They all jumped in and saw Crookshanks lying on a large king-sized bed with moth-eaten hangings and beside him, on the ground, sat Ron gritting his teeth and clutching his bloody leg.

“Ron!” Heather screamed.

They dashed across to him and Harry pulled back his hand to assess the damage.

“We need to get you to Pomphrey – where’s the dog?”

Ron winced and opened his eyes. “H-he’s the dog – He’s an Animagus!”

There was a creak behind them and they turned, standing quickly, as Sirius Black stepped into the room and closed the door with a push of his finger on the doorknob.

His eyes looked sunken in and dark grey circles surrounded his eyes. His wax-pale skin was pulled tight around his face as he smiled, showing brown-stained teeth. His elbow-length black hair was matted and ridden with twigs and leaves and dirt, matching the filthy striped uniform he wore that draped off him much worse than Professor Lupin’s clothes ever did. He was a walking, breathing husk of the man they’d seen on the cover of the Daily Prophet.

“Expelliarmus!” Sirius Black croaked, pointing Ron’s wand at them with a jittery hand.

Heather’s wand shot out of her hand along with Harry’s and Hermione’s. Her heart dropped as she watched their wands land in Sirius Black’s. His skeletal fingers wrapped around them.

“Figured you’d come running in to save your friend, Harry.” Sirius Black’s voice was hoarse and scratchy, like a vintage battery-drained radio recently brought out of storage. “James… would have done the same for me… Brave of you to not run for a teacher. Everything will go much more smoothly like this.”

Heather felt a tear drip off her chin. He’d said the name so easily… Her fists clenched and she saw Harry stiffen with a boiling hate, so hot it radiated off him. Hermione put her hands on both their shoulders, ready to stop them from acting on Black’s taunt.

“I-if you want to kill Harry – ” Ron gripped a bed post and hauled himself up, gritting his teeth through the pain in his leg. “T-then you’ll have to go through us.”

“You shouldn’t be on that,” he whispered. Sirius Black’s eyes drifted down to the bloody mangled mess that was Ron’s ankle.

“Did you hear him? If you want to kill Harry – ”

Sirius Black barked a sharp laugh, interrupting Hermione and making them all take a step back.

“There will only be one murder here tonight.” Sirius Black focused his crazed eyes at Ron, and grinned.

“No there won’t.” Heather said firmly and held on to Harry’s arm as he stepped towards Black.

“No. He’s right,” spat Harry, struggling against Heather and Hermione. “There’ll only be one murder… AND IT’LL BE YOU!” Harry broke free and lunged at Black, knocking him over onto the ground.

Heather gasped and ran forward, clawing for their wands as Harry held Black’s arm down with one hand while his other attempted to smack the man’s face but was held back by the man’s thin boney hand. Heather ripped the wands from Black’s grip and looped her arm under Harry’s dragging him back with her as he kicked and screamed.

Hermione helped drag him back and they all grabbed their wands, pointing them directly at Black’s chest. Harry’s lips began to move when –

“Crookshanks! No!” Hermione hissed.

Crookshanks had jumped onto Sirius Black’s chest and curled up, claws stuck onto his black and white shirt.

“Wingardium Leviosa,” Hermione whispered, and her cat began to levitate.

Black plucked his shirt off the floating cat’s nails and crawled towards the wall and sat up. A deep purple bruise was beginning to form on his chin, where Harry had kicked him.

Harry stepped forward, wand pointed at the very center of his chest. “You murdered them. Our parents trusted you and you betrayed them, and murdered dozens of innocent muggles and Pettigrew…”

Heather saw a twinkle in Harry’s eyes. A spark of hatred so deep it sparkled on the tip of his wand. “Harry,” she whispered.

Black saw it too, and his grin widened. “Going to kill me, are you Harry? You don’t even have the right story.”

Harry stood over him with a steady hand. “You killed our parents.”

“I don’t deny that…” Black stared up at him from behind his sunken eyes, and then turned to Heather. “But if you heard the whole story – ”

“What whole story?”

“Don’t listen to him, Heather.” Harry turned back. “The murders were all over the news. You gave them up to Voldemort. That’s the whole story.”

There was a creak from the floor below.

“No – You’ve got to listen,” Black said, dropping his grin and sat up urgently. “You’ll regret it – You need to understand – ”

“I understand plenty!” Harry choked.

“Harry!” Heather screamed. Her breaths were coming out as huffs and her wand hand trembled as she pointed it at the crumpled man before Harry’s feet. He was going to do it. He was going to murder Sirius Black right in front of them, with his own wand. No – he wouldn’t – he couldn’t. That wasn’t Harry – Harry would never… Heather waited for Harry to step back, to turn away.

Harry’s grip on his wand strengthened, turning his knuckles white. Crookshanks, levitated high above their heads, cried out as Black closed his eyes. Harry breathed, held it… and let out a sob. He stepped back and droped his arm. Heather’s grip on her own wand strengthened and she stepped forward as Harry turned his back to Sirius Black and walked back to them with tears streaming down his face.

She stood over Black and watched him scan her face. If he made any move at her, at Harry, at an escape… she’d make him wish he hadn’t. Although she knew she couldn’t avenge their parents the way Harry wanted, she wasn’t going to let him run off again. He was going right back to Azkaban to rot away the rest of the years he had left. After tonight, the next time she saw him was going to be when he’d finally withered away into an old sad skeleton.

Footsteps thundered up the stairs, and before Harry could finish wiping his tears, the door to the room burst open in a flurry of red sparks. Professor Lupin charged through and took in the scene. Ron was sickly white gripping his bloody leg, Hermione had fallen to the floor in the commotion, Harry was in the corner drying tears, Crookshanks clawing at the air, and Heather threatening a crumpled and bruised Sirius Black.

Hermione sat up quickly. “Someone needs to alert the Dementors!”

“Expelliarmus!” Professor Lupin yelled, and caught the four wands in his hand.

Heather gasped and stepped away from Sirius Black, joining Harry and Hermione as Professor Lupin took her place over Black.

He raised his wand at him, and for a second they just looked at each other. “Sirius… Where is he?” he spoke in a pained, quivery whisper.

Sirius Black looked at Ron and pointed. Professor Lupin turned to look at Ron along with Heather and Harry. Ron looked bewildered.

Professor Lupin turned back to Black. “Why hadn’t he shown himself? Why – Unless… You switched with... You didn’t tell me,” he whispered, and dropped his arm.

“What are you doing?” Why was he dropping his guard? Heather looked at Black, who had started to get up.

The heat inside Heather’s body flared as she watched, open-mouthed, as Professor Lupin clasped Black by his arm and pulled him up to his feet, holding him as he wobbled. She watched Professor Lupin embraced him like a long lost brother leaving her empty and dizzy. All the heat drained from her body as the realization set in.

“YOU’RE WORKING WITH HIM?” Hermione screamed. She was pointing with a wild look of betrayal in her eyes.

Lupin turned to them and raised his hands. “Now, kids – listen – ”

“No! I’ve been keeping your secret – covering up for you! And you’ve been helping him.”

Lupin shook his head and stepped forward. “Hermione, let me explain – ”

“Don’t get any closer!” Harry yelled, shaking. His tears had dried now, and his fists were clenched down to his sides. “We trusted you! – I TRUSTED YOU! And all this time… you’ve been his friend.”

Lupin shook his head furiously. “Trust me Harry. I’ve been the farthest thing from a friend to Sirius – but I am now and if you’ll just let me explain – ”

Heather turned to Harry, unable to keep watching as he defended a murderer, blocking Sirius from them as if THEY were the dangerous ones. “Don’t trust him… He’s a werewolf.” She spat the word out like a thorn.

The room went quiet. It was plainly obvious neither Harry nor Ron had suspected a thing, not even after Snape’s essay. Ron moved farther back, with a terrified look on his face. Harry’s mouth hung open in shock. He had easily spent the most time with Lupin, at least once a week for several hours until he had produced a good enough Patronus, and the whole time he’d had no clue.

Heather glanced at Lupin. She should have told everyone the second she’d found out. That’s what Snape had wanted and tried to do with the essay. He’d wanted everyone to know, for their safety. If she or Hermione had told, then Lupin would have been taken away and Sirius Black wouldn’t have had all these chances to attack Harry.

Lupin met her eyes and she could see a pained fear in them and in the way he hesitated standing before them. He wanted to run.

~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~

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