#also i hate this colouring !!! why do i struggle so much with colouring this show

[lokimobius]

LOKI  S01E05 “Journey into Mystery” S02E05 “Science/Fiction”

[darthmalewife]

Clone Wars era trip to a planet where men dawning lavish dresses is the norm so to follow cultural tradition Obi-Wan, Anakin, Rex and Cody all have to get dressed up and go to this big event

Cody looks fucking fabulous and he knows it, there is a slit in the dress showing off those toned legs and Obi-Wan is struggling to remember the point of the mission

Rex is having great fun, if he spins the fabric flows about and it amuses him greatly, also a Prince just told him he has a sweet ass?!

Obi-Wan looks like some kind of God, the fabric shimmers in the light, noone can keep their eyes off him [this is also how they find out he has 3 tattoos] and the dress is backless so several photos of that man's shoulders as he reaches to grab something are now online also Rex has to keep smacking Cody because he's been staring at his general's arms for quite some fucking time now

Anakin keeps getting mistaken for a Princess and he's not amused, not at the dress or the royalty comparisons he just fucking hates the colour "Obi-Wan, why do I have to wear lavender? It doesn't work with my pales tones everyone knows I look better in black!" "Anakin there are currently 3 women eyeing you up, stop complaining"

On an unrelated note Rex has just been offered a small city for someone's hand in marriage, Obi-Wan and Cody have been given one room to share because everyone thinks they're a couple [they will be if Cody keeps looking like that for much longer] and some politician has already sent Padme pictures of Anakin

There' a poll on the Holonet after pictures are released publicly:

[chaifootsteps]

I will put a trigger warning for sex abuse and sad stereotypes about sex working here, it can be very personal.

I am upset that Viviens shows are giving so much ignorance about consent and morality about sex workers. Because of this, there is a generation of kids who think sex working is funny or not a big deal, that all we do is jokes about sex, make normal people like our friends uncomfortable because we just think about doing that all the time. Or that pimps are stupid and funny guys when no they are so dangerous!

Clients are not so sad and misunderstood, they do not only buy sex from others because they’re so lonely and just need so much more love to stop them “falling” to something dirty like it. We endure so much violence from clients, things like knives and weapons they use on us, which Vivien also jokes about. The donkey show joke is pure evil too. They stalk us on our phones and Instagram pages too which they only see as more content. When they go to court for killing prostitutes they make the excuse that they were seduced by us and very lonely. And we are the monsters ruining them and their families. It is a stereotype. Some of them they hate us for not being nice enough to them like smiling, doing all their kinks, and we are dehumanised for not having romantic ideas for them or not wanting to be in love with them because they’re such “nice guys” who paid money for our time so we need to date them. So often they are rich white men who go on holiday and go after women of colour who cannot say no because they are hungry. These men have some sob story about their mean wife not being in the mood for their sex needs or nagging him. They have so much sympathy. They did not need more. When we get murdered on the streets or serial killers hunt us like sports, people look the other way. Because of this. Why are we the dirty lusting ones when it’s the other people are using their money like this? People don’t all become sex workers cause we are just so lustful sinners and love doing it so much, it’s for survival and money like any other work.

I feel no pity for like prince stolas because men like him who buy sex are privileged by society to do it and they are entitled, they get so much special treatment and pity. If they are gay it is no different they go after the boys instead. And male prostitutes are more hated for their sexuality and have no family. Valentino does not make me laugh either and he is not a very “pretty” character.

Meanwhile we struggle with such evil laws being made: https://x.com/thepublicanow/status/1789715774099136766?s=46

Jesus Christ, Anon...thank you so much for sharing this, and especially for sharing that Twitter link. We live in a sick, evil world and it's not Viv's fault we do, but she's definitely part of the problem, not the solution.

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

WARNINGS IN DESCRIPTION AND BELOW

WARNINGS: Epilepsy, Vertigo, Eyestrain, Abuse, Addiction, Breakdowns

Here is the description placed here for your convenience.

I wanted to try and do what “Poison” attempted to do in a better manner. For example with the billboard I wanted to show that for a passerby it just seems like “Oh, it’s Angel Dust promotion” but for Angel himself it comes off as an unpleasant reminder. Maybe not of things directly related to that photoshoot but maybe things that happened earlier in the day or after the photos were taken. I also wanted to try and encapsulate that feeling of “Am I just making this up? Did I really hate it that much?” that I struggle with when I think back on my own experiences. When you live in hell for like 70+ years I’d imagine that sort of thinking hits you really hard sometimes. I know if I was in an environment like that I’d probably end up wrongly gaslighting myself into thinking it’s normal. It’s an incredibly hard thing to place without making it seem like glorification so I truly hope I got the discomfort across properly.

I also wanted to show the uncomfortable feeling of having a breakdown while being incredibly dizzy which is why the echo-ish effect is in a lot of these scenes, especially for when Angel is drunk and angrily slamming his fist on the ground. Being on the floor is a very vulnerable position to a lot of people, myself included. With the blurry and double-vision I wanted to mimic a fleeting sobriety as things really start to kick in. Along with Angel pounding on the floor, I wanted it to look like the opposite of the lyrics accompanying it. “I don’t want to leave this moment ever” being paralleled with Angel slamming his fist was meant to give a feeling of wanting to break away from a situation. In actuality, I wanted a few of these lyrics to seem more like an inner voice rather than actual fact. Little to none of the lyrics with “I want __” and “you” are 100% genuine, and for the ones that “technically” are, like “I just wanna be whatever you want me to be.” are meant to be taken as “I will do what you tell me to because I don’t want you to hurt/yell at me.”

For posing I also tried my best to make sure it was obvious that I wasn’t showing things as graphically as the “Poison” video. There are still frames of Angel in violent situations which can be uncomfortable, but the extent of it is Angel being grabbed or yelled at. I am very aware things like this are incredibly sensitive topics and my coping process/experience will not translate the same for everyone, but I truly hope that I have portrayed these feelings in a tasteful manner.

As for the colour palette and style, I chose black because its both easy to work with and also captures the feeling of being alone in your mind well; and I chose neon pink because it is Angel Dust’s typical colour, but when there’s enough bright colours like that it can become disorienting, which is what I was looking for. I wanted this video to be as dizzying and brain-messy as possible while still being able to tell enough of whats going on for the viewer to understand.

I also thought I was clever for the XXX on the alcohol since its for explicit ratings as well as alcohol.

If you have any questions, thoughts, or criticisms, please don’t be afraid to mention them.

[firefeelsfine]

HELLO pretty people!!!🌸 <3

The intro post is finally here...🫴🏻✨

ABOUT ME :- she/her | 8teen | Pisces | ENFJ -A | Girl's girl | certified panick mechine | super random | desi | hopeless romantic.🌼

Wanna know more about me, here you go:-

🌸 yepp, so my name is KEHKESHA which means Galaxy & The name originates from Persian language.

( I am truly in love with my name, so please try not to mess it up while interacting. )

🌸I am a die heart fan of SRK and RK.

( it's okay if you don't like them or the way they act...I respect your views nevertheless.)

🌸what do I mostly post?

Random shit, that's right. Relatable kinda shit , random funny looking pictures , memes and rants. In short everything that would show a sense of carelessness towards life and people. Because let's be honest , we all are struggling with stuff one way or another. So ig it's better to deal with that shit by making it somewhat random.

But but but, at times I may tap into my devdas zone, and post or reblog something kinda sad. ( Not negative or something devestating, just simply sad) Something that may or may not touch that hidden empty void in your heart.

🌸 there is nothing in this world that will ever come close to how much i love tulips 🌷🌷🌷

🌸I am not religious but very spritual.

🌸I respect every religion with all my heart. I am obsessed with Indian myths and history. I would really appreciate hearing anyone speaking of there culture, the traditions they follow, the facts and the myths, all of it together and everything in between as well. Feel free to reach out to me for the same.

🌸my favourite colour changes with my mood, today it's rose gold.

🌸I am seriously very chaotic. If my chaos makes sense to you, we're meant to vibe together.

🌸my favourite vibe:- midnight thoughts with Lo-fi Beats.

🌸 I have bunch of interest, here goes the list:-

• imtiyaz ali movies ( my go to )

• F.R.I.E.N.D.S ( nothing compares to that common! )

• music:- jagjit singh, Mukesh, kishore kumar songs are a bliss to me. Shreya Ghoshal, Mohit Chauhan, Arjit Singh top my playlist every now and then. The weekend, JVKE , arctic monkeys, Chris brown make my playlist near to perfect.

But but but...LANA DEL RAY & ISABEL LAROSA make me tap into my siren self way too quick.

• I am diagnosed with moderate anxiety and an undiagnosed mild ADHD awaits me.

•THE SCARLET WITCH from the MCU is my comfort character. ( It's weird ik)

• I like every existing shade of maroon.

🌸 relationship status :- in love- hate relationship with my life.

🌸I am in love with the idea of being in love.💌

🌸I get lost in my books every now & then ( I won't be posting anything about what I read , in this blog, because I cannot tolerate listening to anyone having an opinion on why they don't like a character that I may be obsessed with at that very point of time. I will get defensive and that won't end good . I know me)

🌸 recommendation for kdramas, songs , movies and tv shows of any kind are appreciated.

( need a recommendation from my end ? Do try watching • It's Okay to Not Be Okay • 2020 ‧• Romance • kdrama )

• I really cherish this drama because I feel it is very me coded. Don't forget to tell me your views on it if you do watch it.

🌷🌷🌷 I am obsessed with my govind, my protector, my bestie and my supreme support 🌷🌷🌷

NAGAR NANDJI NA LAAL...💌💌💌

Also, my two alltime favourite songs ( hindi)

My alltime favourites ( english)

If you're a creep who just wants to disturb people's mental peace first of all get a life, And second of all try not to try your dirty tricks on me. I am not a girl who will ignore or block you. I very well know some people , who would not only trace you but will make sure to get your life as miserable as possible. MARK MY WORDS !!!

PS :- My brother's bachelor's degree in criminal justice works like magic at times.

🌸 other than this , I am a really friendly person, so feel free to reach out to me.

Tons of love to my stunning mutuals <3 🫴🏻✨I adore you guys so damn muchhhhhh 💌

[hrts4hanniehae]

clutch || five

there are written parts :)

note that the timeline or educations may not add up but just ignore it because i don't have the brain power to sync up THIRTEEN + 1 's education schedules

also!!!! the story begins in the christmas period of 2022!!!! IF THERE ARE YEAR ERRORS IM SO SORRY!!!! i legit can't change it omfg

"so you guys went to vernon's place before coming back?" - wonwoo

"can't risk e/n finding out where yn lives now." - vernon

"you and seungkwan have to be careful too." - dino

"yeah. he's away hosting this netflix show so i'll just look out for myself." - vernon

"he's so annoying..." - yn

"i'll fetch you from work from now on, yn." - wonwoo

dino and vernon turn to look at him in shock. wonwoo? volunteering? to go out of the house? to help someone?

"thanks... i didn't really expect him to become like this..." - yn

no one expected e/n to knock on wonwoo's door while yn and dino were home alone.

hiding in her art room as the knocks got louder, yn and dino began to silently panic.

"where the hell is wonwoo" - yn

"he has a streamer event to attend. i'm going to cry why is he so scary..." - dino

"okay wait go strip and put on your bathroom after wetting ur body or smth then open the door and ask why he's here." - yn

"huh?!" - dino

"fasterpleasegonow." - yn

dino took a deep breath before opening the door. sure enough, it was e/n, who was shocked to see him."

"sorry but does someone named yn ln live here?" - e/n

"sorry who?" - dino

"yn ln. about this tall, (hair colour), (eye colour)..." - e/n

"i don't know anyone like that. sorry. would you mind leaving? this apartment building is off limits to those who don't live here and i don't recognise you." - dino

"... sorry for bothering you." - e/n

dino immediately closes and locks the door once e/n leaves and rushes back to the art room.

"how the hell did he get in without the keycard?" - yn

"probably tailgated someone inside. have you texted wonwoo?" - dino

"he said he was on the way back." - yn

when he got the text from yn, his heart dropped. a simple sentence. "e/n is here. help." he feared the worst. he didn't understand. yn was one of the nicest people he knew, willing to help anyone, hardworking and dedicated. why was she suffering at the hands people like this?

his relief when she texted that she was okay made his legs weak. he barely knew her, but he knew the effort she'd put in to keep a smile on her face.

e/n threatened her peace. and he didn't know why he cared so much, but he did.

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

a/n: i'm sorry it's a little short today but i was tired since i went out to buy albums today. i finally bought my boynextdoor album. and OMG TWS MEMBERS???? based off instant attraction alone... it's me and shinyu against the world.

synopsis: wonwoo is a popular streamer known for his incredible gaming skills and good looks. He turned heads. but he hates the attention. he just wants to play games and earn money. one day he receives a letter. his apartment’s rent has almost doubled. no warnings at all. his current paycheck from streaming can’t shoulder those bills. he has no choice but to rent out his spare room. to who? a fresh art university graduate who has… 1. a stable job ✅ 2. talent for art and sculpting ✅ 3. many friends ❌ 4. social anxiety ✅ 5. no filter ✅ when his iconic cat logo gets copystriked, she comes to the rescue with a new logo for him. when his apartment’s walls start peeling, she fixes it. whatever he used to struggle with… the empty space... was now filled by her. so what does he *last player standing* do when her ex *enemy spotted* tries to take her back? heh. *clutch* he clutches.

inspired by wonwoo's gam3bo1 streams, falling into your smile & gogo squid (has hints of valorant)

pairing: streamer!jeon wonwoo x fem!artist!reader (ft. jeongcheol, soonhoon, junhao, seoksoo, verkwan)

genre: fluff, comfort, slowburn, comfort, pining, bestfriend!minghao

warnings: stalker ex, toxic ex, mentions of abuse, guns (game), cursing, hate comments, panic attacks

started: 28.12.23

ended: ?

taglist: join from my masterlist

main masterlist

smau socials

previous I next

tags! @fairyofhour @megseungmin @sun-daddy-yoriichi @woozixo @euphoric-univers @christinewithluv @haowonbins @ocyeanicc @asyre @cynthiaaax13 @superhoshisvt @bangantokchy @chimmy-bts @angelarin @daisawa @writingbarnes @jeonghansshitester

@belladaises @wonwootakemyheart @wonwooz1 @luchiet @kookssecret @caratsland @peachescreamandcrumble @thepoopdokyeomtouched @isabellah29 @leah-rose03 @yandere-stories @coupshour @heesbees @hamji-hae

[definesanity]

SAGAU, wherein you teach UNO to Hu Tao, Kuki Shinobu and Collei:

There you were, thonking. Or, thinking, maybe. Point being, you were pondering, when you had an epiphany; Teyvat has card games (or, well, a Trading Card Game; yeah did you know that TCG stood for that? I didn't for a long while), so why not introduce one from your world?

It was simple; invite some calm individuals to play a round of Uno. Naturally, it came quickly, and so you say at the table, cards already out, as three stepped on through.

From Sumeru, Collei; albeit nervous, she nevertheless sat down, smiling and waving shortly.

From Inazuma, Kuki Shinobu; level-headed and calm, she was the ideal player for any card game, and seemed intrigued as well, if her eyebrows raised indict anything.

And, finally, from Liyue, Hu Tao; a given, really, for as soon as you said you could trick others, she basically jumped at the opportunity.

"Thanks for joining me," you started, smiling. "I'd hate to take away your time, but I thought that, maybe, this could be a learning experience."

The three nodded; Collei seemed less tense now, but still kept glancing around the table.

"Ah, but, I suppose introductions are in order? You don't need to say much; just your name will do."

Shinobu nodded back. "I'll start, then: I'm Kuki Shinobu, Deputy Head of the Arataki Gang. Pleasure to meet you both."

"Pleasures all mine, Miss Shinobu~" came the voice of Hu Tao. "Me? I'm Hu Tao, the Seventy-Seventh Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor! Also nice to meet you~"

"...Ahem," Collei cleared her throat, not for attention, but to prevent the nerves in her. "I'm, ah, Collei. T-Trainee Forest Ranger. Nicetomeetyouboth." she finished in a hurry, causing you to raise your eyebrow.

"Are you completely fine, Collei? I'm not forcing you to play," your voice was gentle, and you knew not to make her uncomfortable.

Collei shook her head, however. "A-Ah, no, I'm good. Just a little nervous, is all."

Hu Tao smiled back. "Aw~ Don't worry, Collei! We're all friends here; don't worry, I don't bite~"

Shinobu nodded. "The same with me; we're all here to have fun, right?"

Collei returned the gesture, and then looked at the cards in front of her.

"Right, the game; this is called UNO. The goal is simple; the player with no cards left wins. As for the rules..." you cleared your throat. "In front of you is seven cards; to not show them to anyone unless you play the card. The cards go up from one to nine, and are in four colours, as you can see; red, blue, yellow and green. You can only play a card that is the same colour or the same number. With me so far?"

The three nodded, though Collei's was a bit late, and so you continued, "When you reach one card, you must declare it and say, 'Uno'; if you don't, you'll be called out and be forced to draw two cards; should you not have any cards matching the colour or number, you must draw until you get the colour, number, or a Wildcard. I'll get to that in a moment.

"Next, Special Cards; the Plus-Two you may have, if placed down, makes it that the next player must pick up two cards; however, if they play a Plus-Two, it will stack, and will become the next player's problem."

"So, say if I placed a Plus-Two, followed by Hu Tao, you, and then Collei..."

"...Then, you will be made to pick up six cards, yes, heh."

Shinobu shook her head. "I guess we must be careful with that..."

"Next, the Uno Reverse, or the No U card; it reverses the order of player rotation; say, Collei used it, instead of it going to Kuki next, it would go to me, and then follow reversed order until another Reverse card is played."

"Uu..." Collei groaned, rubbing her temple. "Who designed this?! Why does it have so many rules?!"

"If it helps, you won't struggle for long; you'll pick up on it soon enough, Col." smiling, the green-haired girl shakily gave one back, with a thumbs up to follow, of which you also mirrored.

"Now, the Wildcards; the one with a circle, if played, allows the one to change the colour of the card to anything they want, regardless of previous colours."

"So if I played it after Hu Tao placed down a red..."

"...You could very well make it another colour yes, Collei~" a giggle then followed. "Or, ya know, keep it the same for me to win, hm~?"

"...And the four allows you first change the colour of the rotation, and make the next person draw four cards."

"...What if I placed a Plus Four on top?"

"Then you unleash hell, Shinobu."

"...Hmm..."

"Well, if that's everything?" three nods followed. "Then, let's begin!"

This is going to be something, alright, heh.

[gigigazelleloves]

Warning: Heartstopper Rant

As much as I love Heartstopper I will say that it is hard for me to get into the fandom. I love the concept of the heartstopper but I feel afraid to comment on the execution because I know fans here can be brutal but you know what? Here is my FAIR criticism of heartstopper (the show, not so much the webtoon).

I HATE how Tara's character is written. She seems like the woman of color side kick who is just there to validate white characters (Nick and Darcy specifically). It's like she's only there to push the plot forward and I was hoping she'd become more of her own character like Isaac in season 3 but I was wrong. You know what, I wasn't the biggest fan of the panic attack/perfectionist plot (I would've personally preferred if it had taken different route) but I was happy she was getting a storyline. Turns out the storyline was just supposed to be a yes-man to the fact that Charlie (a white character) was doing better in his mental health struggle. I also feel like Alice also doesn't understand Black British culture because what black immigrant mother is letting her daughter's girlfriend stay in her bedroom for more than a month? I'll tell you, no one from that culture is doing that, and if they are, you must be a fuckin unicorn. And again that storyline was just to push Darcy's story forward plot wise.

I feel the same way about Sahar, like she's just there to push Imogen or even sometimes Nick's story forward. Like yeah, the girl of middle eastern ethnicity just found out she likes women, why are we throwing a good story to the side? I get Imogen was in season 1, but Sahar was an original character from the comic and I personally think she deserves a better story because she in general is a better character than Imogen (no offense Imogen).

Now I know people will bring up Elle and say that she gets a lot of screen time but I would like to remind everyone that Elle has a white mother and is stated to have her father not interact with his side of the family due to their transphobia. She has a completely different experience also because she is with another person of colour (who also is mixed). But that's a whole different rant.

Bottom line I feel like Sahar and Tara are there to check off boxes, not to be full fledged characters which is disappointing as they have so much potential that gets thrown out the window . I would also like to state that I can see Alice and whatever fellow writers are trying. I will also say entertainment media has gotten better for minorities. However, Heartstopper still does have room for improvement when it comes to characters of colour. I would just like to finish this rant by stating that this situation proves how much white privilege still exists in the LGBTQ community and how that just because your queer doesn't mean you are exempt from being privileged.

Edit: I was not aware that Alice went by she/they pronouns so my grammer that needs to be fixed it will be done. Just let me know down in the comment area of this post.

[dissociationdude]

MEET THE ARTIST - 24TH EDITION

Hi everyone, my name is Milos, and I felt it was time for a new introduction. 

I’m a 24 year old neurodivergent nonbinary queer multimedia expressionist artist. 

Wow, a lot of labels I know! I just feel these are the most important ones for me.

I’m based in Ontario, Canada.

My work is a very personal part of me. I use art for therapeutic reasons most of the time, and the expressionism is a very important aspect of that. Most of the time I do not think of the final product of what I am making, just focus on what I’m feeling while I create and evoking those emotions with my art. I have a lot of work based on traumatic events, but the reason for these creations was never to evoke the feelings of being alone, unwanted, etcetera; they were created to make the viewers who deal with the same emotions to feel less alone in those things. It is for those who have survived trauma to know it’s hard to have that trauma and carry it, and there is safe spaces to put it down. My art is aiming to be a safe place to survivors who are struggling, to provide a place to weep, to provide a place to be seen. Many of my works are graphic, talking about the trauma I went through in ways others find grotesque. And to that I say: Why should I have to carry something so grotesque, alone? Why can’t I put it down somewhere, and put the appropriate context warnings? My work is not to promote the grotesque in a way that is profiting, but to show that this is what some people endure in life. I want to be allowed to show my darkest vulnerabilities with my art, because I shouldn’t have to feel shame for what others have done to me, and nobody else should hold onto shame caused by others harming them, in my eyes. My work is a conversation starter about how trauma manifests in people. I want it to be that way. Other times, my work is very bright, happy, storytelling. It depends on what I’m going for in the respect of the piece being about the trauma events, or the trauma recovery. I basically just make a lot of work based on different trauma. I tend to pull inspiration from musicians I like as well. Many people knew me for my Crywank album series, I did art for almost every song of every album they have made. 

I always want to evoke emotion with colour and narrative, and I do that with various tools. Digitally I work on an iPad Pro 4th gen 12.9 inch and an Apple Pencil that I bought used off a friend. I also have a Wacom bamboo tablet for my computer and when I use adobe products for university. I have a variety of magazines, books, paper, that I use for collage works. I often paint with acrylic paint on canvas for paintings, but sometimes wood boards as well. When I work in sketchbooks they’re usually max size 5x7inches for travel purposes, but my pencil case is huge and loaded with supplies. I always have a bag of words handy for collage poetry.

I am really not into talking about myself in regards to my personality, but I feel like I’m a very anxious but always trying their best kind of guy. I don't have other socials I'm sharing on because I have grown to hate social media. I don’t really do much for work aside from lawn care because my disabilities, but I am in university full time pursuing to be an art therapist, and I’m doing my best to adapt to living in a safe, non traumatizing environment. 

Thanks for enjoying my art in the process of me learning to love myself fully, and accept my trauma. 

Love to everyone,

Milos / Dissociationdude 

[happyk44]

hiiii happy!!!! how do you feel abt jason's adhd? in my opinion, the books didn't really do a job illustrating it. how do you think it would manifest and affect him? i'd love to hear your opinion ☺️ i love you!!! 💖💓💗

Personally, I think of Jason as being autistic versus having ADHD. We know through Frank that having ADHD and dyslexia (both of which Frank does not have) is not an exclusive requirement to being a demigod. On top of that, Rick’s use of ADHD is not… great. My sister has been diagnosed with ADHD since she was five – she is very much the inattentive subtype, and I think Rick’s use of ADHD as a superpower of hypervigilance does sort of exclude people who primarily experience inattentive symptoms.

But those kinds of symptoms are not easily rewritten as “benefits” (which. yeah. It’s a disability), so I get why he didn’t include it. I remember reading a while back that when the books were first published, rewriting ADHD as a superpower/benefit to kids who had it was a common narrative, so, like, okay, but also. It’s been two decades.

But anyway. Jason. Yes! In general:

He gets easily distracted by different tasks, but to other people it just looks like he’s multitasking

He forgets to take care of himself a lot, forgets to eat, shower, drink water, sleep, talk to people and be social, etc

Auditory processing issues. During long speeches he starts to zone out because the sound eventually merges into all the other background noise he’s trying to filter out (wind powers and wolf vigilance amplifies the sound of everything) so he often encourages people to just get to the point and be upfront, and gets frustrated when people won’t. Also can’t stand people who talk in monotone (which is ironic because I think Jason doesn’t inflect or shift his voice very much)

Leo definitely uses his voice in various tones during conversation, so while Jason is like “oh my god, please stop talking in circles I have no idea what you’re saying”, it’s a lot easier for him to listen to Leo’s rambling monologues because he doesn’t speak in one or two tones

If it doesn’t interest him, the conversation can start to blur together as well because he struggles to focus on what’s being said. Fortunately, just because of how CJ and New Rome are structured, most topics at hand are things he likes (ancient Rome, gods, politics, etc). Unfortunately, Jason doesn’t really have strong human connections and his position as the golden boy of Camp Jupiter, champion of Juno, son of Jupiter, etc, etc, etc distances him from a lot of people so casual topics, like video games or TV shows, rarely get brought up to him in the first place

The onslaught of sensory issues makes it hard for him to focus. He’s taught himself how to filter things out, but it’s a constant practice to do and gets very tiring

Object impermanence – if he can’t see it, it doesn’t exist. Luckily for him, he doesn’t own a lot of things, but for things he has to keep tucked away in a drawer (like clothing), he slaps labels onto the container/drawer. Everything else, like the couple of misc trinkets he owns, he keeps out and obvious

One of things he does to help it avoid blending into the background is using sharp colour contrasts. So if its important – like medication or something, he might use a bright yellow basket on top of a black dresser or whatever because the yellow stands out so sharply it’s hard for the basket to blend into the background and so he remembers to take his meds.

Another thing is moving location. So he might move the basket from one side the dresser to the other and back again every so often

He’s pretty good at maintaining habits and routine (autism), but also if something happens that throws off the routine it takes months to get back on track and it is the worst thing ever, it is grueling and he hates it. Habits and routine are not innate, they are a constant active conscious choice he makes every day

Making plans can be difficult, even in battle or on quests when strategy is key. He can get tripped up on the small details and overlook the larger picture, or be so focused on the larger picture, he doesn’t see the small details. Because people have been so reliant on him for strategy, he’s more or less managed to get away with looking competent, but it’s always a competition with himself to remain on task, instead of narrowing into something that doesn’t matter

People will often comment on how fast he can get things done but its literally that he gets things done fast because sometimes he waits too long to do the thing (procrastination) and now he’s got like five seconds to the deadline, OR he has a burst of focus and gets that thing done as fast as he can before the executive function dips

He does get bored easily, so he'll flit between task to task, but it’s really that he needs stimulation, needs to be doing something, and if he’s not doing something, he’s losing his mind, and because he lacks a core sense of identity, he flits from task to task to find something that interests him (but there’s so little that does because he does not know who he is and he’s just mimicking people and it’s not the same)

Emotional dysregulation

He gets lost in his own head a lot. Part of it is just standard dissociation, but the other part is that his brain is always on, everything is firing at all cylinders, there is no quiet, it’s just noise and reminding himself of things he needs to get done on repeat, 24/7, loud as can be and he can't turn it off or lower the volume. His brain is full of bees and they won't stop buzzing

As a result, he probably has pretty bad insomnia

I think he has a lot of trouble getting stuff started. Body doubling encourages him to get started on stuff, and he’s never not been surrounded by at least one other person, so when he starts living alone in Cabin One after The Lost Hero, he is so confused that he can’t seem to force himself to pick up his shirt off the ground. And it just stays on the ground for days. Until he runs out of clean underwear and has no choice but to pick it up to get laundry started

He doesn’t own enough stuff to be fully disorganized, but if he does, he’ll have the most organized areas in his room ever, and then his closet is a mess because “well I don’t go in there a lot”

I think he tries to keep a spreadsheet/list of items he owns that he doesn’t use very often, but he still has doubles of a few things. Also so many batteries. He’s constantly like “I don’t think I have enough batteries” and then he buys the batteries and comes back, goes to update the list on the back of the door and it’ll be like “you have batteries. Stop buying batteries. There are too many batteries” and then he throws the batteries in the box that’s overflowing with batteries and forgets they exist again, but then, when he does need the batteries, it takes him so long to find the box

He would self-medicate on coffee if he didn’t hate the taste. He also doesn’t like soda. Or chocolate. So, you know, RIP to him. He’s rawdogging life. At least Leo can inhale caffeine like his life depends on it

He has the waiting mode problem, where if he has something scheduled at a certain time, it doesn’t matter how much time he has until that thing, he just. Waits. For the thing. Like he could get so much done in that time, but he can’t. Again, body doubling has helped, but living alone makes it so much harder

Reward systems don’t work with him. He doesn’t get the same sense of satisfaction that a neurotypical would after getting a reward after task completion. So when he absolutely needs to get something done but his brain is like “nah we gotta sit here and stare at this wall for seven hours while dissociating”, he just ends up screaming at himself a lot

Jason’s probably in a burnout so intense that if he took a minute to rest, his body and mind would shutdown for like three years.

He forces himself to get things done and screams at himself the entire time, and it hurts in a way he doesn’t understand but he has to do these things because there’s no other choice and people are relying on him.

Since he’s been groomed for leadership since day one, he’s never really had a chance to breathe that the other kids would get, so even when he finally has the chance to rest, it’s like his mind knows how unsafe that would be because shutting down completely would never be safe for him (trauma!!) so he just refuses to rest, which involves a lot of him getting lost in his own head or hyper-focusing on something (like spreading recognition of minor and forgotten gods) instead of. You know. Breathing

I think a lot of his issues with ADHD become more present after TLH when the quest is over and he’s alone. CHB has structure, but its not as narrow as Camp Jupiter’s routine and structure, and Jason lives alone, operates his own schedule, doesn’t really have other people to remind him of things, etc, etc, so the sudden shift makes him start to spiral a bit in his fears of incompetence.

It’s not that he’s incompetent, he’s very competent, but his problems were never as evident because other people had his back as he had theirs. He’s kind of like people w/ undiagnosed ADHD or autism who leave their support systems for university and suddenly school and life is the most difficult thing in the world, when before it was a lot easier

Timeblindness does affect him a lot, especially when he's doing something he enjoys. He wears a watch everywhere. And has a lot of backup watches

A lot of these probably overlap with autism but like, lol, I do primarily view him as autistic.

[apollo-likes-writing]

Random headcanons for Ghost

(domestic hcs, holiday hcs, pride hcs)

These hcs are in no particular order and are weirdly structured, but just roll with it.

He has pictures of his mother, Tommy, and Tommy's family all over his house.

Man is an officer in the SAS so he's definitely got a fair amount of money. He lives in a decently sized apartment in Manchester. The colour scheme is different shades of dark blue and white.

He has a large kitchen that's always stocked full of different herbs and spices. Man detests bland meals.

He's used to the same mess food every day when he's at base, so he always tries to cook his own food when on leave so he has some variety.

Has an INTENSE spice tolerance.

Cooking makes his mind quiet and at peace, which is why he does it so much.

If he comes home and is too tired to cook, he'll either order a domino's (large meat feast) or he'll walk to the local Subway.

He surprises any visitors (literally just the 141 and Alex/Farah for Christmas sometimes) with a huge amount of homemade food.

Very clean. Has lots of different hygiene products in his bathroom and uses them religiously (I also think he's a bit of germaphobe, which links to this).

Is a bath man through and through but doesn't have the time for them.

When he does have a bath, he has tiny rubber ducks lined up on the edges of the tub. He named one of them Soap.

Yes, he's a very clean man, but I think he HATES shaving. Will only do so if he has to or the feeling of it against his mask gets too annoying.

Has a bunch of balaclavas and masks in his wardrobe that he picks and chooses. They're all different colours. Gaz and Soap jokingly got him a pink balaclava for his birthday. Unironically it's his favourite one but he never wears it out in public.

That said I feel like, even if you hc him as straight, he enjoys going to pride parades with Soap to show his support for the LGBTQ community and wears it then. Whenever he does Johnny is always there with his phone out to take pictures.

I personally headcanon him not really giving a shit about his sexuality, and therefore whenever someone asks he says his identity is unlabeled and then goes about his day.

Has dated both men and women in the past tho.

Bit confused with all the different terms for transgender people e.g. non-binary, generfluid, agender etc. Tries to learn what he can but struggles a bit.

Doesn't give a shit about your identity, religious beliefs, race, ability (or lack thereof). If you're a twat, you're a twat regardless.

He always finds holidays fun but he would rather jump out of a window than admit it.

People think his favourite holiday is halloween, and they are absolutely right. He feels too lonely at Christmas and Easter, so he decorates his apartment with vast amounts of Halloween decorations in October and always gives the kids the biggest pile of sweets when they come round.

When they do knock on his door, he always wears the costume a different masked character each year. Last time he was Michael Myers. This year he's looking at Ghostface costumes.

Acted as if he didn't want to go to the haunted maze Soap invited the team to, but in truth was incredibly excited about it.

Unintentionally scared the scare actors. Was offered three different jobs that night, which he reluctantly declined.

Celebrates both Christmas AND Yule. Has done since he was a child.

The 141 have a routa as to who's house is hosting Christmas/Yule celebration each year. Always helps out with the food whether he's hosting or not.

Despises Soap's cooking. "Too white" for his taste as Gaz puts it. Absolutely adores Gaz's cooking tho. Has shown up randomly at his house and asked for food like a street urchin.

Reblogs appreciated!!

Masterlist

[floof-ghostie]

casually leans on wall and hands you a microphone. how was the spiderverse experience i want all the deets (ive already watched it dw about spoilers👍🏾)

Ohhhh Strap in we're gonna be here for a while (Imma do this in point form for this, because so many thoughts, no energy for real paragraphs

Okay the animation. THE ANIMATION MEDIUMS. So many cool methods. I loved the colour changes in Gwen's universe. HOBIE'S ENTIRE THING, THE WAY HE'S ANIMATED OMG

Mumbattan is such a cool city, I love mashing irl cities to make one cool megacity so much it's such a lil fave worldbuilding thing of mine

Pavitr is so great, I love him, idek how to talk about him I just like him a lot. Him and his gf make such a cute pair too!

Also him saying "I don't use product, just coconut oil, prayer, and good genetics". I love him

The chai tea scene. God he's so great

THe character design is amazing and sososososo cool!! I love that we see the characters change (Gwen's hair growing longer and pinker, Miles' growth spurt, Peter B.'s bathrobe, MAYDAY's LIL SPIDER HAT THAT MJ PROLLY MADE FOR HER).

I love Pravitr's costume glowup. Thank you to whoever arranged for that.

Also, Hobie??? His lace coded boots?? His locs??? HIS FUCKING PIERCINGSSS??? HOW HE COMPARED A FUCKING VOID TO CAPITALISM??? Him taking a liking to Mayday, and straight up SHOWING MILES HOW TO GET OUT OF THE FORCE FIELD WITH A LIL SMIRK?!!! I need him. Need his gender. I love his anarchist ass.

His design really calls back to the punk scene in England, and I love the way he reminds me of old newspapers

Speaking of Hobie, holy shit that guy was flirting with Miles. I know what you are (pls Hobie do u like enbies?)

"I hate the AM, I hate the PM (prime minister probably, idk for sure) AND I HATE LABELS" I love you

Daniel Kaluuya, thank you for your service.

Also Hobie and Gwen make such a funny friendship. But I don't ship them.

The themes of growing up, and Miles' parents being worried about Miles and the people he's with...I nearly cried in the theatre, and I don't normally cry during stuff.

You can just tell that black people were making the big decisions for this movie. Aaron and Rio asking Miles why he took the braids out. Jeff and Rio being like "On time means 5 minutes early", I felt so at home watching this movie. I'm not even from Brooklyn but I just felt so at home at all the interactions Miles had with his neighbors. Even the random storeowner.

Like ppl were speaking aave, using patois, Hobie's accent. And none of that was played for laughs (except for Hobie's lingo but that's a little different bc he's British)

I love how Miles' Ganke is so different from Peter Parker's Ganke. It's such a fun detail how Miles' Ganke was like "I'm not gonna be your guy in the chair".

I love that despite the general "Canon" for Spider Man, there are some differences! I love those intricate details!

And the way the lady in the office was so hasty to force the narrative of them "struggling" when that really wasn't the case? Hit real close to home. I just love the Davis-Morales family

I love the way that the Spot isn't like a general "mildly bad" villain like I originally assumed. I really thought he'd be kind of a "setup" villain, or something that they'd have to clean up and THEN Miles would take care of Miguel and them.

I especially love the way that The Spot is someone from the first movie, who we don't even know until his backstory is brought up.

His voice is also perfect too. He sounds like a complete loser.

Miguel O'Hara. Meet me outside, I just wanna talk

No For real though, he talks a lot of shit about Miles being "The Original anomaly" when his ass needs to inject himself with some kinda spider-fluid to maintain his powers??? Mind you, he tried to force himself into a reality that wasn't his.

This guy is just an A-class hater. What do you have against Miles, honestly???

On the subject of the Spider Verse I think it's so cool how there were so many callbacks to the original canon of Spiderman! I loved seeing the og live action Spider Men in the film too!

And the easter eggs! I couldn't keep up with them all!

Also, wtf was Childish Gambino there. I mean I'm not mad, I actually found Miles' staring at him really funny

I love Issa Rae's voice! But Jessica, queen, please don't fight, you is PREGNANT

Also idk why but for some reason I thought Jessica and Miguel were married in the beginning. Not completely sure.

Gwen being like "Can you adopt me?" when first meeting Jessica...She's so real

Also Gwen is so sososososo so so trans. It's so great

THE ENDING FUCKING DESTROYED ME ARE YOU KIDDING???? 42-Miles being the Prowler?? I'M NOT OKAY BUT I'M SO EXCITED to see what happens!!

But in all seriousness, all the feelings in the movie talked about and the the things left unresolved for the next movie is just. You can tell this was such a labour of love and all the animators were so happy and excited to work on it. I cannot wait for Beyond the Spider Verse!! I'm still buzzing!!

[guardiandua]

So I've been struggling to find inspiration and giving myself a break allowed me to figure out why. Ever since the loss of my admittedly fake friends, it's been hard to talk about my main fandom Voltron. Today I'm going to let out all the thoughts I've been wanting to ramble about and have no one to ramble about to anymore because it's hurting my inspiration.

I don't have a particular order to this so I'll just begin. My favourite character and Paladin is Keith Kogane. His journey is very much something I can relate to. Someone the world decided to give up on but there was one person who never gave up on him and asked for nothing in return. Like Keith had Shiro I had my Mom.

Unlike most others, I actually prefer Keith as the Black Paladin. I don't hate him as the Red Paladin and thought Red's fierce protectiveness over him was both adorable and hilarious, however I also enjoy character growth being a writer myself. I feel as the Red Paladin, he remained quite the lone wolf and hotheaded. The Red Lion is someone who would have encouraged that impulsiveness because as we saw King Alfor was the same way.

Being in the Black Lion forced him to grow and mess up then learn from his mistakes. He's more similar to Shiro than to Lance which is interesting because he's younger than Shiro and we don't know what Shiro would have been like at Keith's age. Perhaps Shiro adopted him because he saw a bit of himself in Keith and wants to support that. I won't go into too much detail on why Keith makes a great Black Paladin because I have a whole post on that already.

Another thing I love is the brotherly relationship with Keith and Shiro. The society nowadays has become a little bit corrupt because we cannot have two men say I love you even if they add you're my brother without it being made into something sexual. Before the gays come after me (not that I care but you guys take up so much space in the dang comments) I would feel the same if Shiro was a girl and Keith said you're my sister I love you. I would not ship them together but that said the platonic relationship between them is beautiful. The I will die for you or I will die protecting you that is mutual between them. The way Keith was able to pilot Black to save Shiro despite not being her Paladin was so hot! He looked so cool...oh gosh I'm fangirling now hehe. Ok moving on from how hot Keith is. He is hot though right? Anyhoo!

I ship Keith with Allura. Ironically I shipped them together before I knew about the 80s Voltron and although it took me awhile to accept how much I love these two together due to bad fans. Our fandom is toxic guys. It's sad but true. But I feel this show is too good not to ramble about.

Season 7 is my favourite Voltron season. I don't like that they made Shiro gay but that's also because I feel in a reboot you shouldn't change a character's original sexuality. It's like me deciding to do a rewrite of the Harry Potter books and have it be a TV show on Netflix and I decided to make Hermione a lesbian. It's so disrespectful because it's like it's a fanfiction that's actually official which does not feel fair. Also I may not like the whole LGBTQ+ agenda but even if I did, it's cheap representation. I wouldn't want a woman of colour in media if it was just for brownie points and it's not going to make any difference if the character was a white woman.

But back to positivity!! I like season 7 because it feels like a war story. People die. The stakes are higher and heck the Paladins almost die at the end. But my two biggest reasons are Keith and Kallura. It was wonderful to see them address that Keith basically did what he was terrified of his team doing to him. He left them and that being thrown in his face dang that was powerful for his development. He was a complete different person after that. Being there for Hunk, supporting his team wherever they needed him to be.

The second reason is this season to me showed that Keith loved Allura and how much this was sadly a missed opportunity. When the Paladins are captured by Sendak and Keith regains consciousness for like a couple of seconds, the first person he checks on is Allura. She is the first person his eyes travel to and then he falls back unconscious. Dang it was not only a missed opportunity for Kallura but it also showed Keith was more physically resilient than the others even Allura. Are half-Galrans stronger than Alteans? That certainly makes Lotor pretty powerful then.

So I let out a lot of my thoughts in here but there will be more specific posts later. Character analyses and all, pairing stuff, villain stuff etc. this feels good.

[swimmingwithfish]

XO, Kitty and the start of the queer character evolution.

(Spoilers for XO Kitty Below!)

I’m always one for teen dramas. It’s a guilty pleasure that I take much delight in. Classic rom-coms like 10 Things I Hate About You and Clueless have always been my favourites. But to me, they always felt too straight. Too much heteronormative things and none of the queer rep I always wanted, even in more modern films and TV Shows in the genre. 

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before has always been one of my favourtie movies, so, when I found out about the spin off series XO, Kitty, I was ecstatic. Kitty had always been a character I resonated with and I loved all of Jenny Han’s other work. 

Going into it, I expected the classic two boys fighting over one girl love triangle, a gay best friend and the girl best friend that I always seem to ship the main character with. I had predicted most of the story from the start. Until.

XO, Kitty is far from the ‘girl meets boy’ I was familiar with. It’s a queer love story and a coming out story and a self-discovery story. Definitely not the black and white romance i thought it would follow. 

We have Q, the GBF, who is far from the feminine male sterotype you see in teen TV. He doesn’t give Kitty fashion advice and makeovers (which isn’t a bad thing btw), but a jock, the atheltic scholarship kid, who sure, does know a good dress when he sees one, but takes on a character that’s still such a worthy queer person without having to fall into the feminine sterotype. 

Then we have Yuri, the Korean ‘it’ girl, also the girl best friend. She’s not the bimbo pick me girl you think she might me. She’s complex and interesting and she’s gay. Her storyline is something you don’t see often, and they really delve into the struggles of what it’s like being queer in a place and family where you’re not allowed to. Her journey is beautiful and powerful and reflects the coming out struggle in such an honest way, without making her story as a queer person just about coming out. She says the line ‘I have to live a fake life just so you’ll keep loving me’, when coming out to her mum and that encompassed so much of my current queer experience, especially as a person of colour. I think that it was for me, a sort of ‘Hey! we’re in the same boat’ thing and really made me feel so much more seen. She’s a well developed queer character that isn’t reduced to a ‘placed there just for representation’ character.

And we have Kitty herself. The main character. I honestly did not expect Netflix and the producers to go in this direction, but Kitty is queer. At first, I didn’t know if they were just sorta doing it for the sake of it. It didn’t feel like a deliberate decision. Maybe more of a thought that crosses her mind during the show. But Kitty has a crush on Yuri, and the way they address it is so different. They don’t exactly show that coming out to yourself thought process (which I kind of wish they did), rather, Kitty likes Yuri and she just accepts that, which I think is cool. I like now we don’t always need this big revelation moments (although, they’re still cool), but I think it shows the progression of how we treat queer characters as not spectacles for the audience, but just, people. Kitty’s crush on Yuri also felt very resemblant to my own crush on my friend which was probably why I related to her so much but just in general, it felt so natural to just have a queer main character in a non-queer focused show. Like, this wasn’t Hearstopper. No one expected it to be, yet, here we are, and I’m so happy about that.

This evolution into organically created queer characters is something we defnintely need more of and I’m so glad that Netflix is taking the step to do so. ALTHOUGH I REALLY HOPE THIS IS NOT BECAUSE THEY’RE TRYING TO GET REDEMPTION FOR CANCELLING ALL THE OTHER SAPPHIC SHOWS. 

I also feel like though, that Jenny Han is just like a great person because whenever it’s her books being adapted, there’s always this like ‘organic queerness’. Like, in The Summer I Turned Pretty, there’s this guy Jeremiah, who in her book is presented as this straight guy, but in the show he just like kisses some guy and it was a dileberate from of causal representation (if that’s even a thing). Like kissing that guy didn’t add to the plot, but it wasn’t queerbaiting either because (well for me personally) I felt like the directors were like ‘This is Jeremiah. He’s queer, and he’s a main love interest’ and being queer didn’t like shatter the earth around him, it was just a part of him, as it is for all queer people.

But XO, Kitty itself aside from Kitty and Yuri is so good (maybe because I’m a sucker for these things), but everything about it just makes me squeal. I feel like teen TV is taking a turn in terms of creating realistic characters. And while we still have a long way to go (GENDER DIVERSE AND CULTURALLY DIVERSE PEOPLE!!!! CMON NETFLIX), XO, Kitty feels like a really big win for queer (and especially QPOC) people. 

[dionysus-is-my-dude]

I AM Baby...

finally found out the reason I STILL don't feel like an adult despite being almost 30. And I don't mean in an "I hate money, I hate working, I just wanna go back to kindergarten" feeling. I mean, "I don't understand adult life, I can only handle family movies that I get super excited about, when I was five and six I was still playing with baby toys and watching Baby Einstein, I make a lot of mistakes at work, I often talk in a kid voice when I'm excited, I collect things from my childhood, I dance when I eat food, I like to do silly things to make other people laugh, etc" Like, I am SO behind my peers that I feel like an alien.

Dudes, it's my ADHD. I researched and found out that my prefrontal lobe is underdeveloped and that's what causes my ADHD, and that means that my emotional maturation develops much slower than normal people. Physically, I'm 28, but mentally, I AM still a kid. It's why I struggle at working adult jobs, why I get along better with kids, why I can't handle money, why I don't think about car maintenance and cleaning my bathroom, why I'll take any chance to play on a playground or play games with kids, why I like toys and shows made for kids (or even babies), and a bunch of other things.

I'm mentally NOT an adult yet. I've been saying for YEARS that I still feel like a teenager, at the very most, four-or-five on a bad day. Now I finally have an explanation as to WHY. I don't see my therapist until next month, but I gotta make sure I bring this up. We've definitely been talking before about my struggles with understanding money and how much I struggle working a an adult job. I'm not that great at babysitting or being a daycare teacher, though, 'cause I don't wanna come up with things to do and be responsible for kids, I just wanna play and colour WITH them. CANNOT wait to talk to my therapist about all this.

As it is, I did a deep dive on Pinterest into toys and stuff from my childhood in the late 90s/2000s, and I think THAT is the art niche I'm gonna fill. I'm gonna paint things from my childhood and add little captions, like a painting of an old Doodle Bear with the caption "My body is a temple" or something silly like that. I plan to get working on my own online shop and building up my YouTube channel, but not until next year after the holiday season ends and I get more time off from work. Y'all know I'm also gonna make devotional art for the theoi, so I'll let y'all know about that stuff, too!

[flock-of-cassowaries]

Five Questions for Nine People I’d like to get to know better.

@foxgloveinthesun Thank you for asking! There are friends of mine who would say you have made a grave error in extending this invitation, but I’ll do my best to not hog the microphone too much.

Last song: Dashboard by Modest Mouse, on repeat. Something about the melody really captures some of the low-level restlessness and frustration I’ve been feeling on and off since approximately 2015. And it’s a bop.

Favourite colour: Green, but like, kind of a yellow-green chartreuse situation. It evokes life and vibrancy for me. Also the colour of my sofa, which one of my long-time IRL friend hates, and which I have therefore specifically bequeathed to her in the event of my untimely death. (When I was initially sofa-shopping, my then-boyfriend confidently advised me it was “a neutral”. I now suspect he may have been colourblind.)

Honourable mentions to:

- the dark grey-blue the clouds get when it’s about to rain and everyone around me is cranky about it (because apparently, I am a troll)

- orange (my grandmother’s happy colour, and mine too; also the colour of her glorious, deep-pile shag carpets); and

- fuschia, because fuck my early-2000s-teenager NLOG internalized misogyny, I am allowed to fucking like pink.

Currently watching: Dark Shadows. I love a good campy soap opera, and oh my gosh, this one has exceeded all my expectations. So happy it’s available to stream. (For free! On Tubi.)

I’m also putting off finishing Doom Patrol. I have five episodes left, but I love the characters so much and don’t wanna let go.

Sweet / savoury / spicy: Savoury. I bow humbly at the altar of monosodium glutamate. But I also particularly love a sweet-savoury combo, like hoisin sauce.

Relationship status: Ended a long, tortured long-distance relationship with a cis man (who turned out to be a hardcore conspiracy-theory enthusiast) in January.

Trying to unburden myself of all of that baggage, and to work up the courage to put myself out there and date women, because I think that would probably work out better. I’ve never had the courage to do that before, even though I’ve always known I was attracted to women (since before I even knew I could be attracted to men), because I am, above all else, a coward 👍; and also, the above-mentioned internalized misogyny.

Buuuut last two times I’ve attempted a relationship with a man, I’ve get a lot of pressure to perform femininity in ways that didn’t feel natural to me, and gotten a lot of hostility directed at me due to my straight male partners feeling that being involved with me threatened their claim to straightness.

…and also, I really, truly no longer need to impress my dad. So, like, fuck it…?

But it’s still scary as fuck.

Current obsession: Succession; or, perhaps more accurately, my unfinished, un-posted, and perhaps excessively-ambitious Succession fanfiction, which I’ve been working on since last July.

I remember, in March 2023, hearing a local radio host talking about how excited he was to watch season four of Succession, and just thinking “That show sounds insufferable; why would I care about the power struggles of a group of ultra-rich assholes?”

Little did I know that the specific dynamics of the father-son relationship depicted therein;

…and the son (Roman)’s own relationship to his privilege (something he’s afraid to give up, but unable to fully realize because he just can’t quite pass as the cis straight man he’s supposed to be);

…and his relationship to his quasi-messianic father’s right-wing political convictions, which he has adopted as his own;

…and how this all exists in tension with his ambiguous, but undeniable, queerness (as the reason he can’t ever fully enjoy the privilege his wealth and maleness would otherwise afford - despite him never owning up to it, everyone around him reads him as gay, and reminds him of this constantly at the slightest hint of conflict);

— yeah, it just all maps so perfectly onto things I’ve struggled with myself over the past three decades; many which I have been ashamed to even acknowledge.

[Pause for breath.]

(Even though I have never been anywhere even proximate to the level of wealth depicted, I’ve had a lot of privilege from being white, comfortably-middle-class, beauty-standard attractive, and capitalism-compatible; but being an AFAB person playing the role of a cis woman (successfully, if rather uncomfortably), and not a cis or cis-passing man, has locked me out of the full exercise of the privilege that right-wing politics asserted would be mine, if only I conformed.)

(And also my dad is a self-styled philosopher king / violent lunatic who thinks Walter White, Machiavelli, and Richard Nixon are inspirational figures, and who subscribes to the right-wing daily newspaper founded by one of the men the patriarch in Succession is based on.)

So. I have a lot of ideas.

(Pictured: Me.)

Plus, the show has plot holes big enough to drive a fleet of Lincoln Town cars through (or perhaps a mega-yacht, pursued by angry orcas 🛥️ 🐳🐳🐳); and nothing spurs my creativity quite like a plot hole, so that’s just perfect for my fanfiction-writing process.

(And it also features a very kinky quasi-sexual situationship that, uh… does things for me. So. That’s a bonus.)

Last thing you googled: The publication date of Henry Ford’s favourite work of anti-Semitic hate propaganda. I’m listening to a chapter in an audiobook (“How Fascism Works”, by Jonathan Stanley, 2018 - Random House) that discusses it.

I don’t know if anyone else likes talking about themselves as much as I very evidently do, but I would like to extend the invitation to answer these same five questions to the following esteemed hell-sitecitizens: @inkandcayenne , @theveryparanormalgabriel , @scabby-lasagne , @scabby-lasagne , @trwinsome, @rockstar-moron , @saul-okayman , @threeguesses , and @reidoxreader.