#also i guess it's rollins week for me or something

[polkadotpenguin16]

The Five Stages of Grief: Anger

A/N: sorry it took me so long to get this up! It's been a crazy couple weeks and I hadn't had any time (or will, frankly) to do any editing. But it's here now! Also, guess who finally got an AO3 account? The story's posted over there now as well.

Pairing: Sonny Carisi x female reader

Tags: still angsty; language

Word count: 3.4K (I'm sorry, I got carried away!)

Previous parts: Prologue | Denial

After Amanda got her kids in bed, she decided to catch up on The Bachelor. He was about to give away his final rose when she was interrupted by her door buzzer. Begrudgingly, she got up to see who could be stopping by at this hour.

“Who is it?” She asked through the intercom, annoyance evident in her voice.

“Um, it’s Carisi. Can, uh…can I come up?”

That’s definitely not who she was expecting. Intrigued, she buzzed him in. She answered the door to a crestfallen Sonny. His hair was in disarray when it was usually cemented in place with gel. It looked like his eyes were red from rubbing them.

Her face of confusion morphed into one of sympathy. “I take it dinner didn’t go well?”

Sonny stood in the doorway with his mouth agape. He was completely lost for words. This was not where he planned on being tonight. But he didn’t want to be by himself, so he came to Rollins looking for the support of a friend.

“Why don’t you come in?” Ushering him inside, she observed his disheveled clothes as he dragged his feet through her living room. He was really out of it. She went into her kitchen looking for something to cheer him up. “It was pizza night at the Rollins household, if you want some.” She called to him while rummaging through her refrigerator. “I can get you a beer or—”

Peeking around the corner, she saw Sonny sitting on her couch. Resting his elbows on his knees, cradling his head in his hands. It looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. You must’ve said something pretty awful at dinner to have broken him like this.

Changing course, she grabbed some glasses and a bottle of bourbon from the cabinet and joined him on the couch. “So, let me take a wild guess.” She poured a glass for him and herself. “She didn’t accept your apology?”

He picked up his glass and took a gulp. “Didn’t even come by for me to give it.”

“Ouch…” After hearing how you walked out on him, Amanda didn’t think dinner and an apology would fix much. But she at least expected you to tell him to his face. “That’s cold.”

“You’re telling me,” he replied flatly. He took another swig, welcoming the burning in his throat. Anything would feel better than the disappointment coursing through his veins.

“Can’t even believe it,” he huffed while staring at his glass. “I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me by missing a dinner reservation.”

“You know, if that’s all it took to ruin it…maybe it wasn’t all that good to begin with.” Amanda thought Sonny might’ve been looking at you through rose-colored glasses.

“I thought it was.” His face was full of sorrow and remorse as he finished his drink. “I know we haven’t spent as much time together lately. But when we were together, I thought we were doing fine.”

“What’d she say when she left?” She asked, trying to gauge your actions as she poured him another drink.

“She was tired of being an afterthought.”

She puffed out a breath and shook her head. “Well, I guess she didn’t know what she was signing up for when she decided to date a cop.” Amanda knew the toll working at SVU took on having a personal life. It was a balancing act that required a lot of sacrifices from romantic partners that most weren’t willing to make. You weren’t from their world. You probably wouldn’t understand.

“I’ve been trying my best.” His voice was dripping with frustration and exhaustion. “Trying to be a good detective, a good brother, a good boyfriend…”

“I know you have.”

“Then why can’t she see that?”

“What’s she expecting you to do? Quit your job?”

“I don’t know! She won’t even talk to me!” Exasperated, he slammed his glass on the table. This wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go. You were supposed to be home together. Apologizing to each other. Hugging one another and promising to do better.

“Look, Carisi, maybe you need to let this go—”

“I don’t wanna lose her, Rollins!” That was his worst fear. With all the horrors he’d witnessed, he was petrified something would happen to you. Something that would take you away from him. He just never thought that something would end up being himself.

“Okay, okay.” She set her glass down and grabbed his arm, trying to grab his attention. “Now, I don’t claim to be the expert on relationships here. But if this was it, the ‘true love’ you thought it was, would she have walked away so easily?”

Sonny’s hand began to tremble. He didn’t want to think about that possibility. He loved you and was doing the best he could. He was trying to make everyone happy. Why wasn’t that enough for you?

“I just wish she’d talk to me,” he muttered quietly.

“I’m sure she will,” she reassured him, patting him on the shoulder. “She can’t ignore you forever. But make sure you’re prepared for what she’s got to say.”

He picked his glass up and gazed down into the brown liquid. Swirling it around, he searched for answers as to what went wrong and what to do next. Unable to find any, he took another drink.

Fin and Sonny had to go out to Brooklyn to talk to a witness. After they finished the interview, they walked back to their car as Fin tried to make him feel better.

“Look, man, all I’m saying is it could be worse. At least you got the apartment.” It wasn’t working. “When my ex-wife got mad, she’d kick my sorry ass out. Spent a lot of time couch surfing those days.”

Sonny could barely hear what Fin was saying. He was preoccupied with his raging headache, courtesy of his hangover from yesterday. He was pissed. And the more he thought about it, the more pissed he got. He texted you late last night and this morning hoping you’d respond.

Doll, please answer me.

I can’t fix this if you don’t talk to me.

Are you just gonna ignore me forever?

But he was met with radio silence. He was at the end of his rope. A relationship was a two-way street, and he couldn’t repair it alone. He was beginning to think you had no interest in trying. He was brought back to reality when he recognized a familiar bank a few blocks ahead. Your bank.

You could avoid his calls and texts, but there was one thing you couldn’t ignore.

“What’d you say we grab some lunch before heading back? I’m starving.” Fin asked as they passed by a deli.

“You go ahead. I, uh…got an errand I need to run. Meet you back here in twenty.” He picked up his pace and sprinted down the street.

You were busying yourself with work. Color-coding your spreadsheets. Reorganizing your filing cabinet. Again. There was a lot of thinking to do, and you were just not up to it.

The texts from Sonny didn’t go unnoticed. It felt like your phone was burning a hole in your pocket. You knew you needed to talk. You were only avoiding the inevitable. Conflict really wasn’t your thing. You were more content to suffer in silence than voice your concerns. Being so passive helped you get through life. But it also got you walked over on multiple occasions.

You weren’t sure if you could move forward together. You wanted you to kiss and make up. Pretend like the other night never happened. But you knew things would inevitably fall back into the same pattern. Back to going to bed alone. Weekends by yourself. Sonny coming home an exhausted shell of himself. You couldn’t watch him waste away. Nor could you watch him put all his spare energy into caring for another woman. All your emotions were floating around inside you like a whirlpool. They were all tangled together, and you couldn’t separate them enough to know how to explain them to Sonny.

You were going to talk to him. Just…not yet.

The front door opening made you look up from your computer, and you were shocked by what you saw. It was Sonny, swiftly walking towards your desk. And he looked upset. A deer in headlights would’ve looked less stunned than you.

“What…what are you doing here?” You sheepishly asked as he stared you down.

 “We need to talk.” His voice was clipped, answer direct.

“I’m at work, Sonny.”

“Well, you’ve ignored all my other attempts to get your attention.”

“I’m not ignoring you,” you lied poorly. “I’ve just been…busy.”

Not liking your answer, he huffed and crossed his arms. “Why didn’t you come home yesterday?”

“I told you. I needed some time.”

“Well, exactly how much time do you need?”

You didn’t have an answer to that. Your leg started bouncing, and your heart was pounding in your chest. God, why did he have to just show up here? You were already nervous about talking with him before he came. You wanted to get your nerves under control before you met so you could share your feelings with him calmly and eloquently. You weren’t expecting to get ambushed.

“You know, this isn’t even fair. I’ve apologized and tried to make things right, but you won’t even give me the time of day.” Sonny was beyond irritated, his voice becoming steadily louder. “You disappeared in the middle of the night, unable to be reached. Did you know I’ve been worried sick about you?!”

“Everything okay out here?” Your boss called out from behind you. A few colleagues were peeking out to see what the commotion was.

“It’s fine.” You put on a weak smile. “Nothing to worry about.” Your boss eyed Sonny up and down. Suddenly realizing how this looked, he uncrossed his arms and took a deep breath to relax his face. He then felt bad about showing up angry and unannounced. Although he took a small comfort in knowing that your boss cared enough to check on you in a situation like this. Your boss gave you a questioning look, and you gave him a reassuring nod in return. Satisfied enough that nothing dangerous was occurring, he reluctantly returned to his office.

“I’ll come by later tonight, okay?” You had to get him out of here before he got security called. “Now, will you please leave before we make a bigger scene?”

“That’s all I asked for.” He turned on his heel and walked out.

You were surprised to see Sonny made it back to the apartment before you. He was sitting on the couch, looking pensive. Nervously, you walked over to sit on the opposite side. It felt strange being so far away when you had been so close just a couple of days ago. You both sat there for several minutes without speaking.

The silence was killing Sonny. He wanted to rip the band-aid off. To yell, fight, scream, something! He needed to move past the conflict part of this story and get to the happy ending. He wanted to hug you. Smell your hair. Whisper how much he loved you and that everything was going to be alright. But you wouldn’t even look him in the eye.

Fiddling with your sweaty fingers, you tried to figure out how to explain what you felt. But that was easier said than done. There was some deep-seated fear that saying it out loud would make things worse than they already were. You wanted to swallow your feelings and bury them deep inside. To keep them from hurting anyone.

“So, that’s it?” Sonny asked, unable to stay quiet any longer. “We’re just gonna sit here and not say anything?”

You were frozen in your seat. Searching for the right words and the courage to say them.

“Okay, don’t say anything and just listen.” He turned himself to face you. “I know things have been hard for us lately…”

You had a difficult time hearing Sonny over the ringing in your ears. You started to feel lightheaded and your breath quickened. It felt like you were floating outside of your body, looking down at the two of you. You just wanted to disappear.

Sonny could see that you were not hearing his words. He was losing you, even as he sat beside you, to some dark place in your mind. He needed to get you back, to focus on him. “Doll, please you at me,” he pleaded softly, breaking you out of your trance.

You slowly looked up. When you connected with his sad blue eyes, the corners of yours began to feel moist. But you tried to keep any tears at bay. You were not going to cry. You’ve cried enough already.

“How did we get here, sweetheart? How do we get back?” He reached across the length of the couch and offered you his hand, hoping you’d let him pull you out of the darkness. He wanted to be a beacon through the storm he saw in your eyes. A storm of raw, painful feelings that he had no doubt caused.

But you couldn’t take it. Not now.

“Sonny, I don’t know…it’s not that simple—”

“What do you mean ‘it’s not that simple’?” He was trying to remain calm but was starting to lose his composure.

You needed this to stop. Maybe ending things would be better for both of you. No more fighting. No more tears. “I think it might be best if we—”

“Don’t finish that sentence, please.” Shooting up from the couch, Sonny knelt in front of you and grasped your hands. You didn’t pull away, but you couldn’t look at him. “Tell me how to fix this,” he desperately pleaded. He refused to give up on you. “Just tell me what I have to do so we can go back to how we were!”

You took a deep breath, trying to find your voice. “I can’t go back.”

Sonny’s eyes filled with disappointment. “What, why?”

Your instinct was to shrink back into yourself. But you mustered courage you didn’t even know you had. “I’m tired, Sonny. I can’t wait around for you to choose me.”

“Choose you?” He was stunned by your words. “What are you talking about? I’ve chosen you every day since we’ve met!”

This was what you wanted to avoid. You didn’t want to make him angry. You didn’t want a fight. But you were in too deep now.

“I know you think that.” You tried to keep your voice from trembling. “But I’ve felt so lonely in this relationship. It feels like everybody gets the best of you, and there’s nothing left for me.”

He didn’t understand. How could you think that? How could you not see how much he loved you? “Why haven’t you told me this before?”

“When did I have the chance?” You replied with a sigh. “When you got off work in the middle of the night? After you came back from taking care of Amanda?”

This realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He released your hands and took a step back in disbelief. “So that’s what this is really about?” He couldn’t believe that you would think that way. That you thought of him that way.

Your arms were shaky from adrenaline. Arguing like this went against every fiber of your being. “Sonny, she sees more of you than I do.”

“She’s my partner. We work together,” he replied, emphasizing his choice of words.

“It’s not just work,” you countered. “You with her at work, you’re always at her place. Sometimes it feels like you’d rather spend time there than at home…with me. And I’m left here all by myself.”

“That’s not fair!” He snapped defensively. “You have friends and family around you, and she’s got nobody.”

You couldn’t help but huff at his response. “You’re right, I do. Thought I had a boyfriend, too.”

“The hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“You said it yourself.” You steadied yourself and stood up from your seat. “She has nobody but you. What does that sound like, Sonny?”

“It’s not like that and you know it.”

“I do?” Your cheeks began to flush, and your hands clenched into fists as you raised your voice to match his. You desperately wanted him to hear you. To see your side. “Do boyfriends stand their girlfriends up after canceling date night for two months? Or do they take them home and cook them dinner because they had a bad day?”

You left Sonny speechless. He’d never seen you so angry before. Why you were being so unreasonable? “What more do you want me to say, doll?” He asked through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry about missing dinner. I made a mistake. I thought you’d be more understanding since I was helping a friend.”

“This is more than just missing that date,” you retorted. Months of bitterness were coming to the surface. “This is about you burning yourself to keep everyone around you warm. Are you even happy, Sonny?”

“Excuse me?” He asked, dumbfounded by your question.

“You’re gone from dawn ‘till dusk, working a job that’s draining the life from you. What little spare time you have, you spend it taking care of everybody else. When was the last time you did something for yourself?”

Sonny brows knitted together as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “So you’re saying I should ignore when people need my help?”

You groaned and stamped your foot. He was completely missing your point. “I think you need to start thinking about what matters to you!”

Tensions were high and you were both tired. Physically exhausted, and tired of fighting. Neither of you were thinking straight and were spewing words you didn’t mean.

“This is all because you’re jealous?” He accidentally blurted out in a fit anger. “You’re seriously jealous of a lonely, single mother? You’re—” Sonny bit his tongue to stop himself from going any further. He was losing control of his temper and speaking without thinking things through.

Your jaw dropped in shock from his words. Something snapped inside you, and you could hardly recognize the man in front of you. This wasn’t the Sonny you had fallen in love with. “Not anymore. She can have you.”

You marched towards the door, past a red-faced Sonny. You could’ve sworn you’d seen steam pouring out of his ears. “If you walk out that door, there’s no coming back!” He bellowed at you.

But you ignored his warning. Looking over your shoulder, you yelled, “I’m done third-wheeling this relationship. You can fuck her all you want now!”

You slammed the door and ran down the stairwell. Once outside, you leaned against the building, then collapsed to the ground and sobbed. Your pulse was pounding in your head. It felt like your lungs had collapsed in on themselves, making every breath you took a struggle. You were shaking uncontrollably, experiencing a full-blown panic attack. What did you just do? How could you say those things?

Reaching his boiling point, Sonny punched a hole in the wall. The impact shook the apartment, and one of the picture frames on the mantle crashed to the floor. Needing to cool down before he caused any more damage, he sat down and took some deep breaths, not even noticing the pain radiating from his knuckles. He was disgusted by your accusation. But also equally appalled by what he said. He didn’t mean it. Could never mean it. He didn’t want you to leave.

Once he had his emotions under control, he took a second to observe the aftermath of his rage. A hole in the wall, broken glass on the floor, and a bruised hand. Completely drained, he thought it was best to try and get some sleep. He dragged himself to his bedroom to take off his sweat-drenched clothes and crawl under the covers, hoping sleep would overtake him. But as he stood at the foot of the bed, he couldn’t bring himself to sleep in there. This was your room.

The bed you shared.

It was only a tiny one-bedroom apartment, but he felt so lost in there without you. It wasn’t home if you weren’t here. He grabbed a pillow and blanket and stumbled into the living room, resigned to sleep on the couch. He got as comfortable as he could on the small sofa and closed his eyes. As he tried to fall asleep, the red-hot anger that had fueled him began to diminish. All he was left with was a feeling of emptiness.

Alone. He felt alone.

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[Spoilers below cut]

oh my spaghetti gods.... they actually made the episode

Ha ha, I love that for them honestly. I figured that the Team would put out one of these after WOTFI, it would be either a regular silly episode, a "Mario Reacts", or a Remaster.

...OMG I haven't clicked on the episode and I just realized something: you know how at the end of WOTFI, Four proposed the idea of taking some of the abandoned stuff in Puzzle Park and bringing them to the Showgrounds? He can now have the teacup ride

that was slick as hell

(the following is my live reaction:)

of course, you GOTTA present the WOTFI merch

also james and luke just goofing around gives me serotonin :)

Mr Puzzles: "...Now you're 5% less disgusting to look at." :0 that has so many implications but I'm not gonna say it

ANYWAY That's-a so nice!

THE TEACUP RIDE

Alright, everybody who drew baby Four, we gotta get on it again

sorry,,, just them :)

also, Three, it was your idea dude

THE OATS "Now with less fun! :)"

just the way Four hid behind Three [*head in hands*] chat, I'm not going to make it by the end of this episode

The Star Trio (TM) everyone

...wait, does Three actually smell like peanuts or is it just for the meme? [*writes that down*]

Four: "My only suitable parental guardian!" Four, Karen's right there

I can't believe the retirement home is in America smh (like no seriously)

AY there's Old Man Hobo

this reminds me of that one scene from the "You Used to Be Cool" episode

(if you couldn't tell, Three's one of my favorite characters)

PFFT HAHAHAHA THEY KEPT THAT IN I'M DEAD DUDE

Three, why do you need medicine? you just got turned into an old man

MASTER OF DISGUISE

PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA?! MARIO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, ITALY IS GOING TO REVOKE YOUR ITALIAN CARD

the nurse jumping out the window... [*thinks back at Mr Puzzles' Clubhouse when Max jumps out of the window*] sorry WOTFI flashbacks

anyway, they're adorable

huh i guess prison-UH I MEAN- the retirement home has a basketball court, who knew

HE DROPS THE SOAP I'M SO GLAD THEY KEPT THAT IN

...wtf is that slop?

also blue goo- [*loud airplane noises*]

Three: "Meggy? Is that you? You look uglier than usual-" DAMN well, it's good to know that you're still Three

The two frames-per-second running animation, ah a classic

BINGO NIGHT (no no Ink, bingo night was last week) (aw man)

Three, it was your idea bruh

also you're in the SMG4 universe for how many years? plot convenient devices are the norm, Three

HEY SWAG

Hal's here too!

they do be scheming

...wait [*DRAMATIC GRASP*] THE SONIC X THEME SONG!!! 🎶ROLLIN' AT THE SPEED OF SOUND (MAKE TRACKS) QUICKEST HEDGEHOG AROUND, GOT OURSELVES A SITUATION, STUCK IN A NEW LOCATION WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION, NO TIME FOR RELAXATION-🎶 [*gets shot*]

despite everything, it's still you :)

if I had a nickel for every time an old guy says "No Mario, don't", I'd have two nickels. It isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

THE OATS CAME BACK FULL CIRCLE BABY

Frof the SnOATman :)

"On that day, the FBI learned the true meaning of Christmas: oats" SOMEONE MAKE THIS INTO A MOVIE

wait, FBI, you JUST noticed Four and the getaway car?

"dig a hole...poison the guards...KILL the the witness."

The hole, the poison, the old man being the "witness". Wow, Three's plan actually worked! Well, except for the "kill" part, the old man still lives. BUT STILL!

this part was actually emotional wtf

"Good to have you back, SMG3! ...SMG3?" aw 💙💜 (i ask for so little)

Three: "man, I think that was my dad..." Four, once again knowing they came out of USBs: "...ok"

CARNIVAL YAY you better not drop something on me bc (1) it's too soon and (2) you Team like to torture me

PFFT just putting Four's regular head on a baby body is everything

ferris wheel jumpscare

and AY james got to be credited for the writing (i mean, obviously)

And congrats to ggf0ur for having your art in the end credits 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Another fun and silly episode, just what I needed after school work and WOTFI. Still can't believe they made it into an actual episode haha! Having the Star Trio in an episode is always a blast! I truly enjoyed this one.

As much as I find it funny that Four needed Three as a parental guardian to be on the teacup ride, it would be a bit better if the reason for the age gun was that they never got to be actual kids, unlike the rest of the crew. Then we could've gotten baby Four and Three, oh the possibilities. Maybe that's just me idk, but I'm happy with what we got.

And the Ferris wheel in the Showgrounds again, at this point it's a sign. I have to gather my thoughts together for my "Ferris Wheel Wedding" idea.

Fun Fact: for those who are wondering, the WOTFI website is surprisingly still up! Ofc you can't put submissions in anymore but I find it hilarious.

Fun Fact 2: the guy who made the faces for Mr. Puzzles has a proper Twitter now (link)! Go and show some support to the Team! I do want to bring it up because the Team may have made some editing/animation errors (like the subtitles having SMG4 instead of SMG3) and people are getting upset about that, but it's literally not a big deal. I know the Team is trying their hardest to bring out episodes every week. Besides, mistakes could go under the radar, it simply happens.

Now, if you excuse me...

DON'T BLINK, DON'T THINK, JUST GO GO G-G-G-G-GO GO (n-n-n-n-n-na, n-n-n-n-n-na) SONIC'S ON THE RUN, SONIC'S NUMBER ONE! SONIC, HE'S COMIN' NEXT, SO WATCH OUT FOR SONIC X! GOTTA GO FAST (SONIC), GOTTA GO FAST(SONIC)! GOTTA GO FASTER FASTER FASTER FASTER FASTER- [*gets shot again*]

[aceinejghafa]

From Six of Crows:

“Some people see a magic trick and say, ‘Impossible!’ They clap their hands, turn over their money, and forget about it ten minutes later. Other people ask how it worked. They go home, get into bed, toss and turn, wondering how it was done. It takes them a good night’s sleep to forget all about it. And then there are the ones who stay awake, running through the trick again and again, looking for that skip in perception, the crack in the illusion that will explain how their eyes got duped; they’re the kind who won’t rest until they’ve mastered that little bit of mystery for themselves. I’m that kind.”

This quote says a lot of things about Kaz, but I’m going to focus on one aspect: Kaz doesn’t believe the magic trick. He can’t say “oh that was cool” and forget about it because he needs to know how. He needs to understand how he was fooled, how the trick works, how it fits into his worldview. He can't rest until he figures it out.

Magic is when something happens that we can’t explain. Kaz needs to find the explanation.

But we also have this quote:

“The harbour wind had lifted [Inej’s] dark hair, and for a moment Kaz was a boy again, sure that there was magic in this world.”

“A boy again” — this is suggesting that Kaz’s disillusionment with magic is because of everything that happened to him because of Pekka. Pekka fooled Kaz and Jordie; Kaz failed to figure out what was going on. It seemed like magic, but then it wasn’t. Now, Kaz doesn’t believe that there’s magic anymore. Pekka shattered his belief that things could be inexplicable.

But Inej is the exception to this: she makes him feel like there’s still magic in the world. Kaz can’t explain her (or doesn’t want to).

Now, Kaz often seems to function by figuring out what drives people and using that to his advantage.

“It was a guess. Pekka’s pride in the Dime Lions is plenty predictable. Kid probably has a thousand lions to play with and a giant wooden lion to ride around on.” “How did you even know he had a child?” “I figured it out that night at Van Eck’s house. Rollins wouldn't stop flapping his gums about the legacy he was building. I knew he had a country house, liked to leave the city. I’d just figured he had a mistress stashed somewhere. But what he said that night made me think again.” “And that he had a son, not a daughter? That was a guess too?” “An educated one. He named his new gambling hall the Kaelish Prince. Had to be a little red-headed boy. And what kid isn’t fond of sweets?”

Kaz figures out what motivates Pekka — the explanation for Pekka’s behaviour — and uses that to beat him.

He even does that with his own people, like Big Bolliger at the beginning of SoC:

“You’re lazy. I know it. Everyone knows it. So I had to ask myself why my laziest bouncer was getting up early twice a week to walk two extra miles to Cilla’s Fry for breakfast, especially when the eggs are so much better at the Koperoom.”

That’s how he realises that Big Bolliger is a traitor. He analyses people and figures out how they work, friend and foe alike. That’s why he wins.

But Kaz doesn’t know how Inej works — if he did, she wouldn’t be magic, would she? Kaz trusts Inej to gather secrets for him, even though he can't control her the way he controls everyone else.

And then we have a quote about Inej:

“But what about the rest of us? What about the nobodies and the nothings, the invisible girls? We learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. We learn to wring magic from the ordinary. That was how you survived when you weren’t chosen, when there was no royal blood in your veins. When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway.”

“To wring magic from the ordinary.” Inej is talking about herself, but that's what she does for Kaz, too — she shows him the magic in the ordinary. She tells him that not everything is ordinary; not everything can be explained; not everything is a magic trick. Sometimes, it’s just magic.

This is why I am obsessed with Kanej. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[i-can-read-to-him]

The Wesper Fic Club's Author Spotlight is a post series that aims to feature two to three fic authors a month, randomly selected from a pool of names put forth on our server. The authors are then asked to answer three interview questions, select up to five of their fics for us to feature, and finally, recommend three fics by others in the fandom.

(Note: Our spotlighted fics are not limited to Wesper, though they tend to be a central pairing in most of our authors' featured works.)

This week, we are putting a spotlight on Stormkpr's writing!

Socials: @stormkpr (Tumblr) | Stormkpr (AO3)

❀

Part One: Author Interview

Q: When did you first start writing? What keeps you going today?

A: I’ve been doing this a long time. Got into reading and writing fanfic after one of the X-men movies, and I felt  a huge rush when I posted my first fic – and realized I don’t have to keep pestering my real life friends to read them! As for motivation, that is a strength for me and it just seems to come from within.

Q: Have you had a chance to interact with the SAB cast? Tell us about your experience(s).

A: I was very, very lucky to get to go to Into the Fold in March of this year! I could spend 3,000 words on a recap, but I’ll just try to give the highlights. I loved that on the first day, all the attendees were sitting at round tables in a large hotel room. Then the cast comes in. They rotate each member of the cast to each table. It was so well-organized and I felt like we got a decent amount of time with everybody. I also loved some of the tidbits we got later on in the conference, such as Jack telling us about the deleted Wesper scene and how there was more to it. Wylan had made tea, and Jesper commented that it’s great to have a chemist make your tea. And I love that Jack said how good of a scene partner Kit was, and the way he made him comfortable during the scene where Jack is actually driving a real carriage.

Q: Tell us about something in your fics that you’re proud of and wish would get more notice.

A: I love that many of my fics have plots. Nothing wrong with a fic that is more about ‘all the feels’ and I have written my share of fics that contain mostly smut. But I love creating storylines and thinking of a few twists.

❀

Part Two: Selected Works

How to Train Your Gladiator

Explicit | 72.8K | Wesper, Kanej, Helnik Historical Fiction (Ancient Rome), Romance

This is my highest kudo-ed Crows fic so I am starting with this one. We have a world of gladiators and arena battles, and each Crow must find a way to survive and to love. I had a blast thinking up storylines and how each ship would ultimately get together, stay together, and triumph.

A Feral Yearning

Teen | 3.4K | Wesper Oneshot, Modern AU, Vampire AU

From my highest to my lowest kudo-ed Wesper fic. It didn’t get much traction but I loved wrapping up this vampire AU in a one-shot. I liked that it kind of kept you guessing, and writing Vampire Jesper was a blast!

I Am He That Aches With Love

Explicit | 15K | Wesper Canon compliant, Revealing Your Truth, Light Smut

Things are getting serious between Wylan and Jesper. They’ve just taken part in Kaz’s successful revenge scheme against Pekka Rollins and are ready to relax – perhaps going together to Poppy’s show. Or perhaps something more intimate, just the two of them. But before anything more intimate can happen, Wylan has something important that he has to tell Jesper – and he’s scared to do so.

❀

Part Three: Author's Recs

To Live In Color by @sixofcrowdaydreams

Explicit | 39K+ (WIP) | Wesper Cinderella AU, Child Abuse, Wylan-centric, Angst w/ Happy Ending

Perfect mix of plot and writing and all the Wesper feels! I could go on and on. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

What's truth but what we with say it is? by @hotpinkmurex

Explicit | 93.8K | Wesper Modern AU, Romance, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort

The Pretty Woman Wesper AU you’ve always needed

Hot and Heavy by @magicandpizza

Explicit | 3,400 (Complete) | Wesper PWP, Shameless Smut, Sassy Wylan, Bottom!Wylan, Top!Jesper

Really, really good smut. It's hot, Jesper is a tease and Wylan is horny. That's it, that's the plot. (And what more do we need?)

❀

Please support our authors by commenting and leaving kudos on any stories of theirs you read and enjoy! Don't forget to also reblog this post and check back soon for our next author spotlight to come.

Interested in joining our server and getting to know our community? Feel free to request an invite via the @i-can-read-to-him ask box.

[yamatossideboob]

One Piece 1117 spoilers!

This week's philosophisings:

I fucking love Yamato hugging Daddy Cat, happy father's day son

So I did not cop this until I saw people raving about it but. Gin lives babes.

And he made it back to the New World with Dong Krieg and Pearl...

I'm genuinely stunned by this, I can't lie. Oda is stuffing in cameos from E V E R Y O N E.

This is so strange. On one hand I feel like I should be cross that Oda has not only cowarded out of ANOTHER character death, but the fact that 1) it's after 20 literal fucking years after we saw him last, which is genuinely just hilarious, and 2) its fucking GIN!!!!! OUR GUY FUCKING MADE IT!!! HE DEFIED THE GRIM REAPER BEFORE ZORO!!!!! DON GIN FOR LIFE BAYBEEEEEEEEE

also nice callback to the City of Gold myth from Skypiea

oh hi Saruyama lads

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Kujaku...

DRAKE??????????? glad you're alive I guess now you can do something interesting

SMOKER ON THE FUCKIN DUNE BUGGY ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN

This fella channeling the entire readership for what feels like months now

One inch closer to gtfo Egghead, real den den mushi pace to this escape manouvre lmao

Nusjuro is easily the scariest-looking of the Elders, the fucked up skeletaur form is just peak nightmare fuel. fuckin SMT shit

'Fishman Jiu-jutsu Piggyback' doesn't quite hit the same as 'Fastball Special' but FUCK if it doesn't otherwise tick those Hype Shit boxes, gwan Jimbei and Mosshead

Zoro stanboys creaming themselves reading this, power scalers succing themselves thru their jorts at this display

Fr though good on swordsman repelling a fucking Elder to let the crew have more time to flee, ditto Jimbei on the slick catch

also Zoro sword deemed significant somehow woowee

shit, what are the chances we get another crew split a la Whole Cake? Doubt it at this late stage buttttttttt

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah (thats Luffy yellin)

the Giants delight in their carnage yay yippee

I cannot help but read Bluegrass in a Cork accent.

VICE ADMIRAL DOLL ILYSM PLEASE BETRAY THE WORLD GOVERNMENT MWAH MWAH

I guess some VAs being not useless is good for stakes. On the Giants tho.

LOTSA D'S HERE HI DRAGON HI BLACKBEARD HI IMPLIED TRAFALGAR LAW

AND VIVI EVEN IF SHE DOESNT KNOW YET

go Giant Robo... you gave us nothing.. lol I'm not yet convinced that the Iron Giant is kaput yet, it just seems too hardy for that even with the Elder assault going on. but that signal is banjaxed now, probably for good. Which suits me fine, Robin can still have her big moment in due time this way.

What's the deal with the D though... I can't wait til we finally find out... mamma mia

Thankfully another chapter is due next Sunday. This is likely the end of this colossal lore drip feed by Vegapunk, but next time will surely be immensely exciting now that we can finally get off the island and off to Elbaf! I'll meet ye there nakama!

💪✖️

[crunkybrewstr]

Monday Night RAW for 4/29/24

A Weak RAW tonight. The Draft in particular is just stupid. They didn't move anyone of importance off brands. The most you could say they did was introduce NXT talent to the Main Roster.

Dragunov is pretty good. I just have to wonder though, will he work on the Main roster? Will the crowd who don't watch NXT take to him?

Speaking of Crowds, that Kansas Crowd was ass tonight. Bad crowd for a show like that.

I think Chad Gable being such a super dickhead to the Alpha is fun to watch because it's such a polarizing situation between a Heel and a stable of faces. I'm sure the payoff will be them all breaking away from him.

The obvious build up to a three-way match between Gable, The Meat Guy (I forget his name right now lol), and Sami Zayn is a winner match to have. I think that is where they're going with it.

Nia Jax has grown on me a little. She can be kind of funny as a heel . So they're cooking something with her.

Drew is still awesome.

Punk on the other hand, I couldn't care less really. I'm kind of like maybe he shouldn't wrestle anymore. Because I think he'll just get injured again.. Also I'm tired of his Rah Rah Generic I'm the best int he world schtick. Get a new routine.

Speaking of routine... Becky Lynch is the Hogan of the Women's Division. I'm tired of her as well. Especially her coming out every week and screaming the same corny ass line "HEY [Insert name of city], The Man is Here!!!".

Another thing I'm tired of, is that as well. A lot of the Face Wrestlers do the same schtick on the mic. They gotta introduce themselves and say the name of the fucking city they are in.

I especially hate it when Seth Rollins does it.

The Judgement day are falling apart. Who cares I guess? In reality I like Priest but I don't care for the Irish dudes. And I like Dom too. And Rhea. But yeah I think this is the beginning of the end for this group. Time to split them up.

That is all I recall. Other than that, kind of a meh RAW. Not terrible. Just not very interesting beyond them eluding to Dom cheating on Rhea with Liv (Yes we're a Soap Opera after all).

2/5 RAW

[lizajane2]

Shadow and Bone 2x02

"What do you want with us then?"

"You? Nothing. Honestly, I'm not even sure who you are."

Nikolai and Baghra... their sassiness is on a whole other level.

It's so obvious that Nik here is captivated by Alina. I don't know how I feel about that, but they certainly have something that Mal and Alina don't. It's fun. New. Exciting.

Aleksander: "The ache of it."

Alina: "I don't what you're talking about." I'm lonely and even I can see that you are!

My favorite quotes:

"But you still have no idea what it means to fake countless deaths, to reinvent yourself after every rebirth, to lose every loved one to sickness, desperation, hate, and time."

And time... the way Ben delivered that you can clearly hear that while Aleksander has escaped death repeatedly but has been unable to escape time, how it weighed on him over the centuries. As though it's his greatest enemy when the truth of it is Aleksander is his own worst enemy.

2. "My Alina, you live in a single moment. I live in a thousand."

Props to Genya. As terrified as she is, she's doing everything she can to survive. Just let my girl go!! Go let her settle with David somewhere in the countryside of Ravka.

I'm guessing that's Jordie. And also, how shitty of a person do you have to be to swindle two kids? Pekka Rollins that's who, he may be King of the Barrel, but he's literally scum on the bottom of everyone's shoe.

"See, fear in a smaller glass is instinct." Huh, never thought of it like that.

"Makes you wonder what else he's willing to destroy." Oh ye have so little faith both of you.

Jesper: "Inej and I need to know the plan."

Wylan, trying to put his foot down and seem confident: "Um, yes, I... I too would like to know the plan."

Me:

The moment of silence when Nina sits back down with her waffles, LMFAO!! And Kaz's confusion when she finds out where Poel's office is. Priceless!!

I can't believe they give the prisoners bad lobsters. Gross.

Except he's not thinking about forgiveness. AND HOW DARE THE WRITERS STEAL A KISS SCENE BETWEEN MATTHIAS AND NINA FROM ME!! AND OFF SCREEN NONETHELESS!! HOW DARE THEY!!

I love the fact that they added gold embroidery into Aleksander's kefta to indicate his connection to Alina. "I will never wear your color." He certainly will wear yours though, Alina.

Ha, even Tamar walking in on Nik and Alina is like "I'm pretty sure I just interrupted something."

"You've kept me in this hellhole for weeks. And even I look better than you." Baghra, I love you and I have missed you.

"There are holes in the cave floors." Yeah, it's more than just holes in the ground, it's a gigantic sea snake.

All this time Jes wanted a demolition expert and he's like, "I'm not too sure about this skinny beanpole who just happened to show up out of nowhere. But he's also kinda cute." And yes, Wylan, Jes does trust Kaz. He's just questioning it at the moment.

And I don't know why Jes continues to hide the fact that he's Durast but dude:

"This won't end well, Kaz."

"No, it won't. But I'll be the one who ends it."

My man is so unhinged but he's also treating the people around him like pawns... fucking rude. They're not chess pieces you lunatic.

"My Alina."

It sends a chill down my spine. Every single time.

[sparklingbinjuice]

Merry Whump of May | Day Two

Prompt: ‘Beg to differ’

Topics: Denial | Confined | Eye contact

Content Warnings: implied torture, implied past rape/non-con

The soldier wasn’t supposed to remember. That was the whole fucking point of him. But something about last month’s incident with the cryo unit had managed to lodge itself very firmly in the piece of Swiss cheese the scientists called his hippocampus.

He did  not  want to go back on ice.

Rollins swore quietly, then took a deep breath and began to assess the results of the soldier’s latest little outburst as calmly as he could.

[twdsunshine]

The Many Faces Of Norman Reedus - John Rollins, Messengers 2: The Scarecrow

Summary:  A series of short one-shots based on different characters portrayed by Norman Reedus.  John Rollins is tired of the constant struggle to make ends meet, but the reader offers him a little comfort.

Pairing:  John Rollins x Reader

Warnings:  None

Word Count:  1,384

Check out my bio for a link to my Masterlist!

Author’s Note:  The first instalment of this little series that has been inspired by some of Norman’s work, other than TWD.  I’ve been unwell and spent the past week or so crashed out on the couch, watching some of his movies.  And, good or bad, I’ve fallen in love with pretty much every character.  Hence my decision to try and write something for my faves.  I’m keeping the Masterlist chronological, but I won’t be writing them in any sort of order, so don’t pay too much attention to that.  And, if you’re looking for the Masterlist, it will be under The Walking Dead > Series, just to make things easier.  I mean, Norman is basically Daryl, right?  Made sense to me.  

Anyway, this is my little drabbley one-shot for John Rollins from Messengers 2, based on a scene from the film.  For the purpose of this, his wife has left him and run off with Tommy - if you know, you know.  I actually really liked this movie - the shots across the cornfield were so pretty, and I liked Norman playing a daddy.  Although he looks so damn young for his age at this point that he does not look old enough to play the father of Claire Holt (Vampire Diaries, anybody?).  Also, I grew up on a farm, so I guess the struggle spoke to me a little.  We didn’t have any creepy scarecrows though.  I really hope you enjoy these little one-shots, and thank you for taking the time to check them out.  Enjoy!

*****

The evening breeze whispered through the rows of corn, parched leaves swaying to and fro and casting dancing shadows over the dry earth.  The landscape was crying out for rain, the busted water pump only adding insult to injury as long hours of hard work went to waste, the crops withering away before your eyes.  You shut the blinds on the view, unable to watch your lover’s livelihood die, and instead turned towards where he sat on the couch, hunched over the coffee table as he flicked through a mounting pile of bills, punching numbers into a calculator.  He’d spent the past few nights the same way, trying to figure out how to make your limited funds stretch a little further, but you could tell by the quiet huffs falling from his lips that it wasn’t going well.  In truth, you thought he should try talking to Mary, asking her if he could owe her the child support he paid every month without fail.  She’d left him, after all, when he’d been struggling, took the kids and moved in with a man with more than enough in the bank to support them.  But you knew it was a matter of pride, that it was the one payment he would never miss, so, instead, you went weeks on end without electricity until you could scrape together enough to get it reconnected, lived on meagre rations, and spent every day toiling in the field, trying to coax the failing crops back to life.

John’s broad shoulders were rigid with stress as he sighed again, and you went to him, crawling onto the cushions behind him so you could press yourself against his back, wrapping your arms around his waist and tracing nonsense patterns over the faded fabric of his shirt.

“Hey, y’know I gotta do this.”  He hated being interrupted when his head was full of numbers, of course you knew that, but his voice lacked any of its usual conviction, diluted by exhaustion and a sense of hopelessness that seemed to have permeated the very bones of him.  So, rather than letting go and moving aside as you usually would, you just held him tighter, resting your head on the firm plane of his shoulder blade and smiling softly as it shifted and flexed beneath your cheek.

“Have the numbers changed since yesterday?”

“No, but-”

“So, no magical solutions have presented themselves?”

“Y/N…”

“C’mon, John,” you whispered, and you felt the moment he gave in, sinking back and sandwiching you between his tense body and the back of the couch.  “You’ve gotta give yourself a break, baby.  You’re gonna drive yourself mad.”

“M’letting you down,” he mumbled, the words so low that you barely made them out, though you could feel the vibrations of them through your chest.  “Promised myself I wouldn’t.  Promised myself I’d find a way to fix things.  Already drove away one woman I loved.”

“Well, this one isn’t going anywhere,” you assured him, and your fingers found the knots in his neck, tight with tension, and began to work them out with firm, unforgiving strokes.  He resisted for a moment longer, and then he melted against you, reaching back to part your legs so he could fall between them and let his head loll into the crook of your neck.  His scruff was longer than you thought you’d ever seen it, taking care of himself so low on his priority list these days that he never made the time for things like grooming, but you liked the way it looked, the scratch of it against your skin.  You only wished that it wasn’t a physical indication of his mental anguish.  “I’ve told you before and I’ll keep telling you until you believe me: I love you, John Rollins.  I chose this life with you, and I will stand by that choice every single day.  We’re in this together.”

You felt him nod, chapped lips pressing a kiss to the column of your throat.  “Y’know, I prayed today?”

There was a lot you could have said to that.  When you’d first met the farmer, Church on Sundays had been a staunch part of his routine, so deeply ingrained that you’d known it’d be a deal breaker if you weren’t in the pew next to him for every service, but, as his struggles had increased, that dedication had fallen away, and you’d hated to see it, hated knowing that he was losing his faith.  Now, you weren’t sure if he was talking to God because he was slowly clawing his way back or because he was just so desperate that he would try absolutely anything to improve your situation.  “Okay.”

“Asked God if he could smite the crows.  Told him how hard I’m trying; how hard we’re fighting to keep our home.  And I thanked him.”  He moved so you could see his face, piercing blue eyes locked on yours, mouth quirked in such a small smile that you might almost have missed it had it not looked so completely foreign after so many months of his expression naturally falling into a dark scowl.  “I thanked the Lord for you.”

Your heartbeat faltered at that, and you dipped your chin so you could kiss him properly, drinking in the taste of him, sweet like the soda pop he drank with dinner.  “I’m not so sure he can take the credit for that one,” you teased when you broke away, and his smile grew, a little crooked but undeniably there.  “And I’m sure you can think of some better way to thank me.”

“S’that right?” 

“Mmhmm.”  The next kiss was more heated, and you knew it could lead somewhere beautiful if you let it, but it was still early.  If you dragged him to bed now, you knew he’d be back downstairs in a couple of hours, poring over the impossible figures again, so you twisted instead, coaxing him with you until you were both stretched out on the sagging cushions, curling into his side when he invited you in.

“So, what are we gonna do about the birds?”  It was dangerous territory, this slight shift in conversation back to the reality of your situation and the murder of black-feathered pests that were eating away any chance you had at making a profit after the harvest.

But, surprisingly, that seemed to be one question that he did have an answer to, and relief swelled in your chest.  “I found a scarecrow hidden away in the back of the barn today.  I figure, I’ll try putting it up.  It won’t be enough to keep the whole field safe but it’s a start.”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“Right?  S’kinda creepy looking though.  Might scare the kids.”

You thought on that for a moment, wondering just how creepy the thing really was and also unable to imagine why it would have been stored away at the back of the barn for so long that John hadn’t even known about it till now.  “You’ve got them this weekend, right?”

“Yeah.  Mary and Tommy are going out of town.”

“So, why not make one with them, instead?  You’ve got plenty of straw up in the old hayloft, and I’m sure there must be some old clothes stashed in the loft that I can dig out.  Might be fun, let them put their own twist on it; less scary at any rate.”

“S’not a bad idea.”

“I know.”  You craned your neck to brush your mouth over his cheek, nestling in when he shifted even closer and letting your eyes drift closed when he fell quiet, the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath your fingers bringing you a sense of peace that you’d been craving for too long.  In your mind, you pictured a sunny Saturday afternoon spent stuffing old sacking and patched up sweatpants until they were stiff and rotund, balancing a lopsided hat atop a hessian head, face inked messily in black marker.  And you pictured John’s smile as he worked with his kids at his side, dark hair mussed by the exertion, dust clinging to sweat-slick skin.  And you knew that, despite the hardships and the uncertainty and the strains of this life you’d built together, you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

*****

Drop me an ask if you’d like to be added to the tag list for this series!  Tags will be on the first reblog.

Feedback is always appreciated and reblogs make me happy! 🖤 Thank you for reading x

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

Kaz Brekker x fem! Reader - Dark Grey

A/n: So this was request but I couldn't find who requested it (and it wasn't anonymous!) So whoever did just give me a hey! This is literally the longest fic I have ever written.

Warnings: Blood, gore, death, sad Kaz, language, torture, Parem I think that's it? You have been warned!

Summary: Your a double agent for the dregs

"Come on you little shits, we have a job to do." One of the higher ups of the Dime Lions yells at some men at some tables at the Emerald Palace in the back.

Little birds have told me that people have been raving about this place being extravagant, but it's really just extra dramatic if you ask me. The green of the building is like someone drunk from the Crow Club wandered over here and puked on it and someone just decided the color looked pretty, so they mixed some glitter and red and pow. There you have it.

That may just be me though.

I start to get up with all the others but the man who just yelled, jets hand in front of me, fast like I'm going to run off.

"The boss wants to talk with you about getting you higher status." The man growls obviously not happy about someone who could be possibly taking his spot and he's probably not happy it could be a girl. Well sucks too suck.

I almost nod and have an emotionless face on but I realize that's the real me would do that, have have to be Cozbi and she's a little naive. But she's good enough if Pekka wants to notice her.

I let a smile crawl on my face; "Well I guess your just going to have to tell Mr. Rollins I would be delighted." I say nearly flirting with an accent, but more taunting like as I twirl my tailored unnatural bright red hair (like it's VERY bright) around my finger and I grin like a popular school girl.

"I'm not your messenger." The man scowls.

"But boss wants you up there in five minutes." He snaps and goes off face all red.

I barely even manage keep into place long enough as the men walk out to start their job. As soon as they do I speed off to a bathroom and I write on a piece of paper in a stall.

Giving me higher status, think he's getting suspicions though. Their going on a job tomorrow night to take out the Blacktips. Amush. Pekka also got a stash of Parem. Don't know why. Stay Safe, don't give clues. Frame someone.

-Your favorite person from the barrel

I open the window above my stall and I do a low whistle.

Fweet. Fweet.

A crow comes and lands on the window sill I grin slightly and my (also tailored) e/c eyes touch down on the raven haired bird. I'm reminded of Kaz's raven hair and his dark brown eyes as I hand him the folded note and the bird tilts it's head and takes the note and fly's off.

I flush the toilet and hurry out heading to Pekka's office.

I open the door slowly priding myself for being exactly a minute late, it works really well for who I'm playing. I see Pekka siting in his chair but instead of waiting for me like I thought he would be. Right now though he's reading something with a almost confused look on his face.

Shit.

"Well, well, well Cozbi your finally here." Pekka smiles not a nice smile - though he is a barrel boss.

The door shuts behind me and someone shoves me to the ground and people surround me and hold me in place.

"Or should I say Y/n." And then everything goes black.

_______________Time skip a few hours in a random warehouse (not that you know that)😈😈😈___________________________________

I slowly open my eyes and I look around the place. I'm tied to chair there's no light in the room so it's hard to make out anything but I think the floor is concert but the walls are wood.

Cheap.

"I didn't think you would be up so soon Y/n... Well this is a surprise." Rollins says and then in flash stabs a dagger into my stomach.

My scream fills the air as he pulls the knife out. I make my voice quiver I can still be Cozbi, I can still be Cozbi.

"I-I don't know who Y/n-Y/n is sir-sir." I stutter but my entire body is on fire from being in enough interrogations before. It's telling me to be harsh to not get to the point, but I might be able to get out of here if I play the part.

He takes my jaw and shoves it forward harshly. "We already know who you are L/n. Y/n L/n the dregs notorious double agent that never gets killed or even better caught."

Pekka smiles sadistically.

"I'm going to make sure this story ends in red." He laughs.

He goes to leave but he puts his hand up.

"And make sure she's can't see." His henchmen put a blindfold on me as I hear the door close. I can feel them coming closer and I hear one smack something on the ground that must have been a bat.

"Let's have some fun girly." I tug at my bonds hopelessly and helplessness fills my body.

________TIME SKIP_________________________________________

My screams ring this room for the next week.

Or what I at least think is a week. There's no windows in here so it's hard to tell when time pass's. Pekka doesn't come back again but I know his coming soon because his henchmen have been worse than usual because they want a raise or something.

I gave up thinking Kaz would come. I remember what he told me last time I saw him before I went on this mission.

We won't come for you if you get caught and it's only a matter of time before you do.

I messed up the last mission we were on with the crows, I got Inej hurt and he wasn't happy. So I did this job.

Because maybe then I would get what I deserved.

My hands have knives through them sticking them to the chairs, there's blood all over my face from the daily beatings. My one leg is twisted and broken in ugly places and cuts and bruises litter my body.

I know it's only a matter of time before my body gives out and Pekka finally wins.

The door to my (what feels like) cell opens and there's Pekka and six more henchmen in the room.

Those are new.

They might not be henchmen though I think we're past that at this point, I think their assassins.

Or something like that anyways.

Their hoods are up but I can clearly see that there's two girls and four guys. My vision blurs a little. Maybe death will grant me mercy sooner than I thought.

"Meet my new friends Cozbi." Pekka mocks and jesters towards the cloaked figures.

"Ironic that you choose the name Cozbi. For did you know, it means liar? I thought maybe I should call you that now, liar. It fits perfectly you know?" Pekka spits in my face.

"Anyways..." Pekka drawls on for a bit and I realize the lack of movement in the halls. But before I can question that one of the male hooded figures gives a box to Rollins and he opens the box. Rollins grins like someone just made his day.

Fuck.

He advances on me with a small packet and I stay deadly still.

"Do you know what this is Cozbi." I keep my eyes trained on the packet.

"My name is Y/n."

Pekka laughs and grins evilly.

"You wanted to be Cozbi so you will be called as such." He growls and calls for is henchmen.

Two men come to tip my head back and hold my jaw in place. I try to shake them off by moving my head but it's no use.

"It's Parem." I freeze. No, no, no.

"For grisha you suffer by always wanting it not inculding the rare cases. But for normal humans."

He takes a step forward and he opens the packet and holds it over my mouth.

"It kills you terribly and so, so, so painfully." He crouches down and looks at me.

"Your going to die as Cozbi. Your going to die a liar, and I will make sure all of Ketterdam remembers that."

He gestures towards his henchmen and instead of trying to prier open my mouth like I expect them too.

They go and pull up my hands.

My hands go through the hilts of the blade and it hurts so much I can't do anything but scream.

Pekka shoves the Parem in my mouth.

My body feels like it's withering away and Pekka laughs as I vibrate against my seat. I feel my eyes widen and the only thing going through my head is that Rollins is a foul.

The knives.

And I'm not going out without a fight.

I pull the knives out of the handles of the seat and I scream as the hilt of the blades touch my skin but I quickly cut the bonds around me and I stab one of my knifes into the first henchmen.

I leap towards the other and I barley manage the scrap him before my body hits the floor and I can't move anymore.

Searing pain stabs through my body like multiple knives just stabbing me over and over again I expect Pekka to be the last face I see and I murmur something about the saints but then I see it.

The hooded figures.

It's the Crows.

The henchmen are down on the floor and Pekka is tied up and gagged to the chair. I feel my vision start to blur and the Crows go to check the area.

"We have to get her a healer!" Someone yells. But I'm on my back looking up and I barley even recognize that things are happening around me. It's like I'm watching from a different world but I can't do anything.

"Y/n!" Someone yells and picks me up from my spot on the ground.

"Come on Y/n!" Someone whisper-yells.

I groan as the person starts walking and I let out a rattling breath, that I knew that should concern me but I couldn't care less.

I just wanted it to end.

"Your not dying on me today Y/n."

Kaz, I think it's Kaz.

Everything shifts back into focus, Kaz is running (even with his bad leg) and somehow the searing pain from the parem in my body has started to subside. Noticing the many, many yards of guards running after the crows and some group of them has so, so, so many guns pointed right at Kaz.

Then it happens.

Suddenly I feel above the others, like I have powers that no one has ever had. The universe was bending to my will and I gasp as I'm lifted up into the air by something shadowy, and dark blackness surrounds my legs all the way up to my waist. I don't quiet know what I'm doing but it feels natural, like I knew how too do it all along.

I raise my hands into the air and shadows burst out into the open.

Guards are being cut in half, some are being chocked to death, some look like their getting stabbed multiple times as wounds just show up. Others look like they have a disease as darkness spreads across their bodies. And some just fall to the floor and die silently.

Their dead.

The power, and the need to protect everyone I care about is gone.

I don't even scream.

I hit the ground with a thud and I try to open my mouth as Kaz frantically pulls me into his arms cradling me. No, that couldn't be right though.

He yells for someone but I can't make it out I try to blink, but even that is hard and it's so slow and I can feel Kaz bring me closer too him but I don't really know what's reality anymore.

"Y/n." The voice (although it tries not to show it) lets concern and fear run through the words. I gasp.

"Kaz." I manage to say. He pulls me (somehow) closer as he lifts my face up to look into his.

He says something, but I can't comprehend anything he's saying. The edges of my vision start going black and everything else is going fuzzy.

"You'll live!" Kaz says, trying to reassure me but it sounds like he's trying to reassure himself more.

I place a hand on his and I want to say something, but the words are all mixed up and it feels like concrete is holding my jaw shut. Everything starts slowly turning black and I'm internally screaming in my head;

No! I have to say something! I can't go like this!

It's useless though, because everything slowly fades away the last thing I see is the dark brown of Kaz's concerned eyes.

_______TIME SKIP_____________________________________________

The light bulb of whatever room I'm in flickers off and on as darkens seems to try and cover it. I take a look around to see all the Crows tied up to a chair each, they have gags in their mouths and they look like they have been tortured out of their minds.

I run over to Wylan trying to help him out, but he let's out a muffled scream as I go towards him. I quickly turn to Jesper but he's so still in his seat not even looking at me.

Nina and her confident demeanor is gone, her aura is laced with panic and Matthias is with her on that one.

Inej can't seem to stop shaking, making her presence known to everyone. Then I turn to the last chair and my heart must have stopped.

Kaz's corpse lays, in the chair. Bubbles of darkens, are around his mouth and it looks like it chocked him to death.

Dirtyhands was finally beaten.

Then darkness shoots out of me, and I can't seem to stop it as it kills everyone else.

I sit up and a scream rips through my throat. I breath in heavily trying to get the air into my lungs. Everything in me burns, pain course's through me like a parasite on steroids, but at least time I succeed at muffling my scream.

I hear someone running from another room and the door fly's open. On command darkens shoots out from my hand and starts chocking the person- Holy shit! That's Kaz!

"No!" And it all appears to fade away into the shadows.

Tears start to fill my eyes, what will happen when I'm in a real state of panic? Could my nightmare eventually come true?

I feel the bed dip beside me and despite my hardest efforts, my eyes wander over to Kaz.

He looks like he hasn't slept a day in his life, with the essentially black moons under his eyes. His skin looks chalky white, contrasting his red rimmed eyes that looks like he had been crying just a few minutes ago.

Concern fills my shadowed heart, something must have happened for the Kaz fucking Brekker to be like this. My fears about being a shadow summoner disappear, they do stay at the back of my mind but finding out what's up with the bastard of the barrel is more important.

I carefully place a hand on his cheek. He tense's up a bit before relaxing into the palm of my hand and even leaning into it a bit.

"What happened?"

Kaz looks at me in disbelief. "What happened?" He lets out a chocked laugh that holds a sob in the background.

"You died." My breath hitches in my throat, wait... That can't be right. Can it?

"Matthias had to do chest compression's on you while Nina tried to restart your heart. All because I couldn't fucking do it."

He takes in a breath and rips my hand away from his face.

"Your heart stopped Y/n, we thought you were dead. But they kept going and somehow saved you!" A sob tears through his throat and Kaz Brekker breaks down in front of me. His walls that he has tried so hard to keep strong have had a boulder thrown at it. Smashing it with so much force that he couldn't possibly rebuild it.

"I'm sorry." I whisper. "For all the pain I caused you." I somehow manage to speak as my own tears start to come up.

"Seriously? Your sorry?" Kaz turns to me and grips my shoulders.

"Your the one who died, damn it!"

"Hey I have something to hold over Jesper?" I try to joke and it gets a small, very tiny tried smile out of Kaz.

"And the fact that your a shadow summoner."

"I didn't know." I say quickly and I pull back defensively, Kaz just sighs.

"I know."

He lets his hands run down my arms and his hands make delicate patterns on my skin. Then I remember the parem. Fuck.

"What were the effects of the parem?" If anyone would know, it would be Kaz.

He pause's for a second seemingly in thought before opening his mouth the speak.

"Well your life span was shortened to a normal one." I exhale in relief at that news, I really didn't want to live for centuries.

"But your powers could surpass the Darkling's, and the only reason you don't have the opposite of what you have now is because you pushed it down for so long. The healers somehow purged the parem out of your body before it could make you a mindless addict."

"That better news then I thought I would get." Kaz nods but there's something else lingering in the back of his head.

He thinks I'm going to leave.

I intertwine our hands together, and I turn my head to look him right in the eyes.

"I'm not leaving." I blurt out.

"If I went to the little palace I would get hunted, if I went anywhere else I would get hunted. I might go into hiding for a bit, but I'm not leaving you."

A smile that's even bigger than the last one by some means crawls up on his face.

"Good, because I just got you back."

Words 3021

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Shadow and bone taglist: @kaqua

(If you want to be added just comment taglist)

[toomanyrobins2]

a little birdie told me pt. 13

Summary: Y/N “Indigo” Phillips had dealt in secrets her whole life. Hired by Tony Stark at 16, falling in love with his son was never the plan. She also never expected that five years later, she’d be leaving Peter in the middle of the night with just a note on the dining room table. Now a year later, she has to return to the Three Families as their whole world continues to be threatened by a rival mob.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word count: 1.3k

Content warning: Mentions of alcohol abuse, sex, violence, murder

Notes: Sorry that this has taken me so long to get out! Life is so chaotic right now and my uploading just can't be consistent.

series masterlist // next part

Laying in bed, Y/N felt Peter’s fingers trace over old scars that he knew like the back of his hand. Eventually, they came to rest on the one that he’d discovered only an hour before. She hesitated before meeting his eyes and seeing the question in his eyes, “Getting out of Chicago wasn’t an easy extraction. I had this baby and her mother was missing. Once I got all the information I could, it was just a waiting game. I stuck around longer than I would usually and that was a bad call. Rollins and some of his men found me. I’d stashed Ellie away the day before with a friend and the plan was that I would stop off and pick her up. When her mom got caught, they tortured her and I guess she told them everything. I managed to run but Rollins was on my tail and--,” she gestured to her side, “So, I went to where Ellie was and waited it out for about a week. Then, I made my way home.”

Peter let his finger trace over the scar for a moment before looking up at her, “So Rollins knows about Ellie?” Y/N nodded and he groaned, “We are supposed to move on the Chicago branch soon. They intercepted another one of our shipments and Tony is getting impatient. That may solve all of our problems.”

She looked down at him and bit her bottom lip, “Are you going with him?”

“I have to,” Peter saw the worry on her face and sighed, “You know I do.”

“No, I don't.” Y/N’s mind went back to all of the evil she’d been confronted with in Chicago. Yes, the Families weren’t angels either, but HYDRA existed on another level that drew in some deranged individuals. Alexander Pierce and his son Alec held their control with absolute fear and weren’t afraid to torture people to get their way.

Peter pulled her out of her thoughts, “This is part of our life, sweetheart. Don’t worry too much.”

“I have to worry about you because I love you,” she traced her finger down his nose, “Is there always going to be something that comes before us?”

“Y/N—”

She tried to wriggle away from him, but his hands clamped onto her hips, just as they’d been an hour before but for a very different reason. His thumb ran along the tattoo of his name on her hip and she tried to ignore the lightning that traveled up her spine when he did that, “I want an answer. Why are you always looking for something else? Why can’t I be enough for you?”

“You are enough,” Peter pushed himself up on the bed and held her face in his hands, “You are more than enough.”

She was fighting back tears, “Then why are you going?”

“Because I want a lifetime with you. I want to grow old by your side and as long as HYDRA has power, they are a constant threat to any possible future.” He left a lingering kiss on her forehead, “I’m doing this for you, not because of you.”

All Y/N could do was nod, “So it could all be okay? Because you have to come back to me and all in one piece.”

“It will be okay. Let’s just focus on moving everything out to the house and enjoying that.”

It took a couple weeks to move all of their stuff into the new house. The women were a great help to Y/N as the men spent more and more time around the Table. She kept her ear close to the ground waiting to see if there was an uptick in chatter, but HYDRA seemed well and truly unaware of when a hit was coming. The tension was growing amongst everyone as the Chicago takeover loomed.

Y/N and Peter woke up a week after fully moving into their dream house and started their day. Their domesticity was disgustingly sweet to their family who teased them for it every chance they got. Even with all the stress, Peter had breakfast with Y/N and Ellie every morning before going into the city.

That morning, he was sitting with Ellie and trying to get her to eat the baby food, “Come on Ellie-bear, you need to eat this.” She just furrowed her little brow and get the lips sealed tightly. “It’s good. See?” Peter put a little bit of the pureed butternut squash in his mouth and immediately regretted it. Y/N couldn’t stop the laughter from spilling out at the absolute disgust all over his face. He forced himself to swallow and then downed the rest of his coffee to clean the remaining taste away, “What the hell is your mother feeding you? Y/N, baby, this is a crime to feed Ellie.”

“She needs to try something different! Variety is the spice of life.”

“If this is what variety tastes like then no thank you. I’m getting her bananas.” Ellie seemed excited at that and started smacking her hands on the high chair. Peter looked at Y/N with a raised eyebrow and went to grab a different container from the cabinet.

Y/N hugged him from behind, “You spoil her too much.”

“She’s my Ellie-Bear,” Peter turned around and gave her a quick kiss, “Whatever she wants, she gets.”

Y/N finished with their breakfast and carried it over, “That’s fine, but if she says dada first, you’re changing every poopy diaper after that.”

Peter turned to her with wide, puppy dog eyes, “You’re going to let her call me dad?”

She couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face, “As long as you’re okay with that. The only other option is Rollins and something tells me you’ll be better at it.”

He looked less than impressed at Y/N’s joke and stuck his tongue out at her before scooping the baby into his arms and started to talk to her, “I’m your dada and that’s gonna be your first word. Yes, it is. Yes, it is.”

“Give me my baby.” Peter swung Ellie away from Y/N and she gasped in fake outrage, “Peter Benjamin Parker-Stark, you did not just do that! Baby thief!”

Before he could retort, his phone rang, and using that as a distraction, Y/N grabbed Ellie and brought her back over to the table to feed her. She could faintly hear Tony’s voice in the background but didn’t focus on it as she brought the butternut squash back over. A massive grin spread across her face as Ellie took the bite of food without any encouragement. When Peter turned back and when he saw that Ellie was eating, he swooped in to kiss the baby’s cheek, “Little traitors, the both of you! Dad just called and I need to get into the city.”

“Can we join? I’ve got one last box at the apartment and I told your mom I'd meet her for lunch sometime this week."

They quickly finished their breakfast and made their way towards the Ivory. Peter dropped his two girls off at the old apartment building before leaving to meet the rest of the family heads. Y/N was pushing Ellie in her stroller down that hallway to her apartment. When she reached the front door, she saw that flowers were waiting in front of the door. Smiling, she leaned down to pick them up. Placing them down on the counter, she picked up the last box that had been left on the counter. When she turned back, Y/N realized a note was tucked amongst the blossoms. She picked up the card and her blood ran cold:

Found you and that little baby. Won’t be long before she’s back with me and you’re left in an alley like her whore mother.

See you soon, darling.

***********************************************

@marvel-is-a-mood @marvelofwitch @mycosmicparadise @majo240820 @capsiclesdoll @slut-for-steve-rogers @dottirose @runawayolives @zaraomarrogers @jemimah-b99 @redhairedfeistynerd

[thecrowskeep]

Bait.

Jesper Fahey x platonic!reader - but it can also be read as Jesper x reader? It’s a blurry line when it comes to Jesper, I guess.

Words: 1.1k

Warnings: mention of a gun/shooting, swearing.

Summary: You’re a bit of a chaos magnet. So obviously when you joined the Dregs Jesper became your new best friend.

Alternative summary: “So, why am I here?” You asked Jesper. Surely he could take on this guy alone. Jesper shot you a grin. “You’re the bait.”

A/N: This is really short, but I love writing Jesper dialogue so... He’s just such a fun character. I hope I did him some justice!

“So, what’s on the agenda for tonight, then?” You turned to the lanky boy next to you, as you both headed down the main street of the East Stave. It was close to midnight, and since you both had the night off, curtesy of Kaz, Jesper had invited you to join him on an evening stroll. Though, you assumed the evening stroll part was not the main event. Jesper shot you a grin, all but confirming he had something in mind.

“How do you feel about some light thievery?” You tilted your head, pretending to consider, though you knew your mind was already made up. “What am I getting out of it? I assume it’s because someone owes you something.” “Well, yes. One of the Dime Lions owes me from a bet last week.” Jesper looked down at you, with an affronted look. “And you get the pleasure of my company, obviously.” “Oh, is that all?” You scrunched your nose. “I guess I’ll head back to the Slat then…” Jesper stopped, mid stride and you let out a laugh, linking arms with him and pulling him along the cobbled street. “You better be joking.” “I am. Did I bruise your ego?” “Yes. Obviously, Y/N. I’m fantastic company.” Jesper let out a dramatic sigh. “If you help me I’ll buy you those sweets you like.” His voice was low, hoping you wouldn’t hear, but you had. You let out a whoop and added a little skip to your step. “Where are we going, then?”

—

It turned out you were headed to the Emerald Palace. Pekka Rollins’ and the Dime Lion’s pride and joy. You and Jesper stood across the street, pretending to converse amongst yourselves while keeping an eye on the garish green and gold building. Jesper had described the man you were looking for on the walk over. A big man, with a beard and dark hair. You’d rolled your eyes at him. It was the vaguest description you’d ever heard, but Jesper had assured you that he’d know the guy when he saw him. “Jes, I’m bored. We’ve been here for like an hour.” You’d noticed Jesper had also been getting twitchy. He hated being in one place for too long, so this debt was clearly important to him. “How much does this guy owe you, anyway?” Jesper looked at you, then back at the door. “A few kruge. It’s more about making a point.” Of course it is. You sighed. “I feel like you owe me waffles now, too.”

It was only a few minutes later that you felt Jesper stand up straighter beside you. You’d been distracted watching a group of men fighting a few streets away, but looked back at the doorway when you’d felt Jesper move. “That’s him.” “Are you sure?” You asked, squinting at the man who’d just left the Emerald Palace. “He looks the same as the rest of them.” “I’m sure.” Jesper replied, pushing off the wall he was leaning against and starting after the bearded man. “Let’s go.” He angled his head, a nod for you to follow. The man was alone, which was helpful if Jesper intended to rob him. It’d be easy enough on the quieter streets. “So, why am I here?” You asked Jesper. Surely he could take on this guy alone. Jesper shot you a grin. “You’re the bait.” “What?”

—

Jesper hadn’t been joking. He’d given you the basic idea of the plan in hushed tones as you walked. You were supposed to lure the man down a quieter street, off his usual path, so that Jesper could come up behind him and block the only exit.

You had both followed the man for a few blocks before Jesper had you run ahead of him down a side alley that would put you back on the main street not too far ahead. It was easy enough to spot the target in the meagre crown once you’d returned to the main walkway. He wore the most awful green vest. “Excuse me?” You called, waving him over. “What?” The man took a cautious step toward you, checking behind him in case you were directing the call to someone else. “Could you help me?” Your mind raced, trying to come up with something believable. “I’ve lost my ring, I need help to find it. It was my mothers.” The man scoffed. “Ask someone else.” He moved to keep walking. “I can pay.” It really was the magic phrase in Ketterdam. The man’s eyes lit up. “Alright, I’ll help. Where did you lose it?” You gave him a winning smile. “Somewhere on this street I think.” You gestured behind you. “Thank you, sir. You’re too kind.” “Yeah, yeah. What does it look like?” He asked, following you down the quiet street. You described the imaginary ring to the man before you both set off to look for it. It wasn’t long before you heard the familiar click of Jesper’s revolver. He was stood behind the man, the barrel aimed squarely against the man’s temple. “You owe me money, Filip.” The man, Filip, gulped. He had much less confidence with a gun now pointed at his skull. You stood up straight, brushing off your palms. “You tricked me, you little who—“ He was clearly talking to you. “Ah, don’t be like that.” Jesper taunted, pushing the barrel harder against the man, leaving a little indentation in the skin. “You should’ve just paid me before, and we wouldn’t have had to go to all this trouble.” Jesper pouted dramatically and reached down to pull a leather coin purse off of the man’s belt. The man remained silent, wary of the gun to his head. Jesper turned and gave him a shove back toward the main street. “You can go, now.” The man stumbled and took off at a run, not bothering to look back. Jesper had a grin on his face as he turned back to you. “I guess I owe you waffles?” “You’re damn right you do.” You gave Jesper a sideways glance. “Why do I always have to be the bait?” He shrugged, counting the kruge in the coin purse before looking up at you, a cheeky glint in his eye. “Because you’re excellent at it, Y/N.”

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

😡🤬ANGER MANAGEMENT (PART 1)🤬😡

Prompt: Y/N has the life she’s always dreamed of: a good house, a nice car, a fat paycheck, her dream job and some loving friends. Her life feels like a fairytale...but just like every fairytale she’s not safe from the villain, the problem with that? He’s not only an incredibly hot Scotsman but also a fucking pain in the ass!

@drewmcintyrekoccsrocbwdgfan

Word count: Long-ish

Pairing: Drew McIntyre x Reader

Warnings: +18 smut, clit stimulation, angst, dirty talking, cursing, name calling,(possible part 2?Idk)

Notes: I think it’s time for me to face my biggest fear: Drew McIntyre! 😂 all jokes aside, I’ve lost count of how many one shots I have written and soon after deleted about this handsome hunk. There are so many good stories of him out there that I’ve always felt like mine were actually horse shit compared to those so I’ve never had the courage to make this Scottish wet dream an official brand of my writing, but I’m looking forward to achieve new accomplishments on my writing in 2021, so here goes nothing folks! Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

“Oh Thank God! Just the woman I wanted to see”

I turned around to meet Becky Lynch, one of the few dear close friends I’ve made while working for the WWE as a massage therapist.

“Hey Becks! What’s up?”

“Y/N I need your help, I was doing some training with the guys when suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and now I feel like I wanna cry”

“Oh Becky, c’mon let’s go to my office”

Once we got there I mentioned for her to sit on the massage table.

“So tell me exactly what you were doing”

“I was doing some regular weightlifting, then all of a sudden I felt this sharp pain stretch from my elbow to my shoulder”

“Ok, did you warmed up before hand?”

“Yes”

“Did you added the weights in progressively or were you in some sort of competition against Sheamus, Cesaro and McIntyre as to whom could perform a proper weightlifting faster?” I crooked my eyebrow

“Y/N! You know I would never do that” She tried to hide her shame for being caught

“Becky, I know you! I know how competitive you are and how competitive you GET when you train with Sheamus, Cesaro and the Scottish prick.”

“They started ok?! They said I was no match for them, so I had to make them swallow word by word” She said slightly angry

“Calm down” I chuckled “And I presume you won?”

“Of course I won! As if they stood a chance” She scoffed

I touched her shoulder and palmed the back of her upper arm til I reached her elbow

“And your prize for that my darling is” I looked into her eyes “Six muscular knots, probably some small damage to your elbow nerves resulting in a little trip to the physical therapists and shit ton of pain, congratulations! Are you happy now?”

“Oh no!” She whined “Y/N, please don’t send me to the physical therapists, they will eat my ass off and they’re gonna tell Hunter about this. Please Y/N, please tell me you can fix it?” She stared at me with begging eyes

“Becks” I sighed “I can undo the muscular knots but I ain’t no fairy godmother! If you have some sort of nerve damage that’s up to the physical therapists...there’s nothing I can do about that honey”

“Please Y/N give me some of the red magical relief juice you gave to Kofi” She pleads

“Red magical relief juice?” I asked confused

“Yes, Kofi said he had this horrible pain from an injury and you gave him this red magical relief juice that helped him better than any medicine! Please give that to me too!”

I laughed before answering

“Oh Kofi, Kofi... it’s not an juice, it’s a liquid... a toner. A home made medicine I learned with my grandma. Technically I’m not even allowed to use that, but I know it works, better than these crap versions of Vick’s Vapor Rub” I tossed a little small green package in the trash can.

“Can you give that to me?” She asked with her eyes full of hope

“Fine” I said and she smiles widely

“But, you have to promise me that you will stop with these stupid and senseless competitions! They could permanently damage your nerves you know?!”

“Ok I promise”

I took a small plastic bottle from the cabinet and filled up with some small amount of the toner and placed the bottle inside a small paper bag. I also gave her a little bit of my grandma’s famous ointment in a tiny tin can.

“Alright, so here’s what you’re gonna do: once you get to your hotel room, you’ll take a hot shower and before you put your clothes on, you’re gonna rub the toner from your neck to your elbow all over your shoulder and back upper arm” She nods and I proceed “Then right after you’re going to take a small amount of this ointment” I show her the little tin can “And rub it all over your shoulder, back upper arm and elbow. Right afterwards you get dress with a long sleeve shirt and go to bed. Remember that you cannot leave your skin exposed to the cold air of air conditioning, because if you do it will make your pain and damage way worse! Do you hear me?”

“Yes Ma’am”

“If in three to four days you still feel any sort of pain you’re gonna have to go to the physical therapists”

“Ok”

“Becky I’m serious”

“Okay Y/N I got it” She smiles softly

“Good, now please, don’t tell anyone about this” I shook the little bag “And tell Kofi to keep his mouth shut. I know he means well but I could get fired for this”

“My lips are sealed” She pressed her lips in a thin line

“Thank you” I chuckled “Now, go on and take 20 drops of this” I give her some Ibuprofen “And come back in 20 minutes”

“Why?” She asks confused

“Because we still have to undo those knots and it’s not gonna be the fun kind of pain my dear”

“Argh” She groans

One week later

I was finishing tidying up the massage table from the session I just had with Bayley when someone knocked on my office door

“Come on in”

“Hey Y/N” Seth Rollins said in a voice full of pain as he tried to walk towards me

“Seth are you ok? Jesus, you look like somebody just kicked your balls so hard that they went up to your throat! What happened?” I tried to hold back my laugh

“A long story involving Cesaro and Drew. Moral of the story is my back is fucked up, do you think you can help me?”

“Can you lay down here?” I patted the table

“I guess so” He made his way to it excruciatingly slow as I helped him to lay down

“Where’s the pain worst?”

“My lower back” I touched and he gasped in pain

“Do you think you could give me some of that red magical relief juice?” He whispered so only I could hear it.

Of course I wasn’t surprised about him knowing of the “magical relief juice” since he and Becky were together I figured she told him.

“Did Becky told you?”

“Only today, once she saw I was in a tremendous pain...When she was using it I pressed her to tell me who gave it to her but she didn’t wanted to say, she said it was her fairy godmother”

I couldn’t help but smile at Becky’s inside joke and loyalty. I truly love that girl.

“Sure thing Rollins, just please don’t-“

“I won’t tell anyone Y/N don’t worry! Your witchy recipe is safe with me” He chuckled “Ouch fuck, that hurts” He groaned

“Did you bring any jacket on with you?” I laugh

“Yeah Becky told me to”

“Ok, let’s get start it”

Forty minutes and a relaxed thankful Seth Rollins later. I was finishing washing my hands while Seth pulled the zipper of his jacked up. I could feel his eyes on me

“What is it Rollins?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“If the question is if I am a 450 year old witch then my answer is, you will never know” I whisper as I turn to face him with a smirk

He laughs before saying “Well I’m sure you are sweetheart” He winks playfully “But that’s not the question though unfortunately”

“What is it then?”

He looked at me with a sense of caution before asking

“Why do you hate Drew so much?”

“McIntyre? The Scottish prick? The shitty bearded version of Gastón from Beauty and The Beast?” I ask in disbelief

My hatred for Drew McIntyre goes way back to 5 years ago. To make a long story short he has being a pain in my ass every since I started working here. It all resumes to the bad flirting and endless fights. We’ve always fought at least 3 times a week for as long as I can remember. It’s like a weekly ritual for us, and our fights are always petty and ridiculous such as who will get in the elevator first or who will rent the last SUV car.

“Yeah...” He answers slightly embarrassed

“Well that’s simple, he’s an asshole! A smug fucker who thinks he’s the most beautiful man to ever walk the earth and that every woman alive must fall for him in all fours”

“Is there anything else beyond that?” He asks

“No! Of course not!” I lied. As if I could tell him about my deep sexual desire for the Scotsman

“Are you sure? I mean, you must agree with me that he is very beautiful” Seth answers

“I’m not saying he’s not. I have eyes, so trust me, I know he’s hot as fuck and a very handsome man but that doesn’t mean that every woman on this company wants him!” I scoffed

“Does the ‘every woman’ equals Y/N?”

“Why are you asking me this?” I asked aggressively

“Look, there’s no need for you to get all defensive ok? I’m your friend and I’m just asking this as a friend. I’m not coming for you by any means” He says with a soothing voice

“Sorry, it was just my automatic response”

“It’s okay sweetie”

“But Seth...why this question now?”

“Let’s just say that I may or may not have heard some backstage talk and I would like to know this from your own mouth instead of other people’s”

“Backstage talk? About what?” I ask angrily

His eyes widened “You know what? Let’s forget I ever men-“

“No no no Rollins you’ve started this now you will finish it!” Now I was really angry

“Fuck, I should’ve kept my mouth shut” He murmured

“But you didn’t! So spit it out”

“Ok...I’ve heard one of the girls say that the reason why you hate Drew so much is because you kinda have a hidden want for him to fuck you but since he’s ‘not interested’ you get pissed off” He whispered

“I WHAT??? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?”

“Y/N please keep your voice down! Somebody is gonna hear you”

“I COULD GIVE TWO FUCKS IF SOMEBODY CAN HEAR ME! Who’ve said that Seth?” I was boiling with rage

“Sweetie, I’m not gonna tell you who’ve said it because I know you will-“

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and whispered

“If you don’t tell me who’ve said that right now Rollins I swear to God on God in heaven that I will cut your balls off and shove them down your throat!”

He gulped

“Now who’ve said that?”

“Carmella” He whispered and I smiled letting go of his collar “Y/N please don’t do anything stupid!” He said as I removed my coat

“Don’t forget to rub the toner on your back once you’re out of the shower” I patted his shoulder and made my way to the door

“Y/N where are you going? Y/N please whatever you’re thinking about doing it, just don’t ok? She’s not worth it! Y/N PLEASE!”

But his screams were now faint as I make my way down the hallway to find the blond gossiper girl.

I finally find Carmella “talking”, to Sheamus in one of the hallways.

“Oi Y/N, how’s life treating ya lass?” Sheamus smiles widely at me, making his usual greeting. At any other day it would’ve made my afternoon happier to find that amazing Irish man, but not today! I was so furious that I ignored him and went directly to Carmella

“Would you mind telling me why the fuck are you not only minding my business but also spreading rumors about me and McIntyre?”

From where I stood I saw Sheamus visibly gulp

“Hey Y/N, what do ya say about we go to tha catering grab some coffee huh?” He said urgently pleading

“So? I’m waiting for an answer” I said to her fully ignoring what he just said

“Well Y/N, from woman to woman, I think we both can agree that it’s no rumor. It’s quite visible, to not say pathetic, the way you can’t deal with rejection my dear” She batted her lashes

“And what exactly are you implying?”

“The obvious Y/N! That you want Drew in between your legs but he doesn’t! I mean, let’s face it, he’s too much of a man for you anyways! It’s not like you can handle him, because we know you can’t” She measured me from head to toe making me feel very conscious about the difference between her slim toned body and my thick one full of curves.

I know that most of the men’s in this company usually date or even have one night stands with women who were body equivalent to their own - slender and beautifully toned - , but that doesn’t mean that they didn’t saw my own curvy beauty. Hell, I even got some dinner invitations from some of the guys! Cesaro, Baron Corbin, Finn Bálor and even Seth Rollins (before he got with Becky) were some of them.

“I bet that I received more dinner invitations in a week than you in a year” I scoffed

“But not from the man you want the most right darling?” She evilly grins and I see red! Pure rage in it’s rawest form took ahold of me and I jumped towards her neck but a pair of strong arms stopped me from attacking her.

“Wow, easy now lass” He said

HIM! The cause of all this gossiping with my name, I couldn’t get even more angry even if I tried.

“Let me go McIntyre!” I roar

“Uh, enjoy it while it lasts Y/N, it’s as far as you’ll ever get anyways” Carmella chuckles

I tried to wiggle out of his arms “What the fuck did you just said bitch? I’ll feed you your own teeth you fuck-“

I couldn’t finish my sentence thanks to Drew, who lifted me off from the floor and tossed me on his shoulder, taking me to back my office.

“What are you doing? Let me go! I’m gonna punch her stupid rat’s face!”

“No you won’t”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m preventing your ass from getting fired!” He answers

I tried to release myself from him, but who was I fooling? The man is a brick wall, I couldn’t let myself go not even if I tried hard!

Once we got into my office he locked the door, placing himself in front of it and released me.

“Don’t you never, EVER, dare to manhandle me like that again! Do you hear me?” I stare at him with my eyes full of rage

“You know Y/N, all that anger is not good for you...you could have a heart attack” He chuckled

I was so mad, that tears of anger rolled down my cheeks as I cut the small distance between us and begin to punch his torso, arms or whatever I could reach

“I HATE YOU! YOU’RE THE REASON WHY I AM NOW A FUCKING BACKSTAGE GOSSIP SUBJECT! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU’RE SO FULL OF YOURSELF AREN’T YOU HUH? SHITTY ASS GASTÓN!”

I was starting to loose my strength due to my ferocious attack, and I would be damned if I let him see that...

When suddenly everything changed, the air in the room thickened and I saw myself now pressed against the door with my hands forcefully pinned on top of my head.

“Aww, that was sweet princess” He smirks confidently

“What are you doing Drew? Let me go” I murmured

“Oh it’s Drew now huh? Why the sudden change love? What happened with ‘Scottish prick, asshole and Gastón’?” He cackled “What’s wrong princess? Not feeling so confident and in charge anymore are we?” He pouts

“You’re hurting me” I lied

“Nu uh, we both know that, that’s a lie. I know you Y/N, every inch of you so don’t you lie to me now! That’s not what pretty little girls like you do” He reprimanded me

I felt confused and slightly turned on by his whole dominant character. But still I felt the urge to fight back.

“And what do you know about me McIntyre? NOTHING! So don’t YOU dare to pretend that you do! You know nothing about who I am or my needs, so quit the act”

He laughed before saying “And that’s where you’re wrong princess” He towered over me, securing my wrists with one of his hands while the other grabbed my cheeks making my lips pout(like one would with a child) and tilted my head up to meet his blue gaze.

“You see Y/N, we’ve known each other for what? 5 years? I’ve done a lot of observing in those years... I became quite good at reading you” He leaned forward..his beard,lips and mustache brushing against my own lips

“So I know for a fact that what triggered you into fighting Carmella wasn’t what she said...But the fact that what she said is true” He searched my eyes for confirmation and when he found it he smirks in appreciation

A murmured ‘Fuck you’ came out of my lips the best way I could since he had this vicious grip on my cheeks.

“Oh Y/N, Y/N... what am I going to do with you princess?” He asks amused as he release my cheeks “I must say though... I agree with almost everything Carmella said” He vaguely added

Pure humiliation filled me, the thought of him knowing that deep down I had a thing for him which wasn’t reciprocal at all made my stomach turn. I felt the tears of humiliation start to rise to my eyes, but I wouldn’t give him the pleasure to see that he had broken me. Instead I reached for the safety of the one thing I knew I could do: fight!

“You let me go right now you fucker or I swear you will regret it!” I said as threatening as I could

“Oh my, won’t you look at that? Kitty has claws huh?” He chuckled lightly

I took advantage of his distraction and yanked my arms as fast as I could out of his grip. The action caught him by surprise, giving me the upper hand to turn around to unlock the door so I could leave. But his surprise didn’t last long as for he saw what I was about to do and pressed me against the door once more, instead now my back was the one facing him so he pressed his semi hard bulge up against my ass with my hands and face now pressed on the wooden door.

“Where do you think you are going princess? We’re not done talking just yet” He whispers in my ear, making my whole body shiver.

“As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me” His lips were glued to my ear “I almost, I said almost, agree with everything that she said..except for one thing”

“If you’re gonna say that-“

“Maybe I’ll have to buy you a ball gag, since you don’t seem to ever know when to shut up...or maybe I should choke you instead,what do you say?”

I gulped loudly

“Or even better, I should fuck your mouth..bury my cock so deep on your throat that you will have no other option but drool all over yourself” He pressed his bulge harder against my ass “, that will make you shut up! I can already imagine how gorgeous you will look with my cock shoved down your throat” He moaned “Would you like that princess? Would you like for me to show you where’s your place? Where you really belong?” He grinds his erection on my ass and the feeling makes me moan softly

“Drew...” I pleaded

“The only thing I don’t agree with Carmella” He continues his previous statement ignoring my plea “Is that I’m too much of a man for you. To be honest I think you’re the only woman in this company who can actually handle me! The only one who will love and beg to be fucked faster and rougher..” His hands let go of my wrists and roam down to cup my breasts roughly, pulling me even closer to his body

“The only one who is the perfect fit for me...who will let me use every single hole as I please” He bites my ear making me gasp for more air.

“Won’t you Y/N? Do you want me to use you like the good little whore that you are?”

My head was buzzing with excitement, I could feel the now very wet pool of desire in between my legs. To think that all of my darkest fantasies with this man were about to come true made me moan a faint ‘Yes’ to him

He grunts at my positive response while one of his big hands unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans so his hand could sink down the fabric to find my very wet core.

“Hmmm I’ve been waiting 5 years for this lass...Fuck, you already feel amazing on my hand I can’t wait to feel this pretty little pussy around my cock” He growls

“Fuck Drew, please” I whisper

“It’s Sir to you, my good little pet” He smirked “Now tell me, do you think I should fuck you right here, right now so that everyone in this company can hear me make you my fuck toy or should we head back to the hotel? What do you say pet?” He asks as his fingers firmly circles my clit making my legs shake

“W- Whatever pleases you Sir” I stuttered

“I see you’re a quick learner huh?” He chuckles amused “I say, let’s show this roster who is the only woman who can properly handle me” He says as he removed his fingers from my core and licked them clean while staring at me. I softly moan to that scene and he smiles deviously before whispering

“Strip now pet and show what a beautiful fuck toy you are for Sir”

To be continued...

Please let me know if you would like to see a part 2 🥺?

[superhero--imagines]

A/N: Happy Halloween kids! (Because I feel very old lol). So this imagine was requested by the lovely @atbucud​ who is probably the best beta reader/editor/fan/person I’ve ever known.

This imagine is going to be like the premise, and at the end you’ll have a {Love choice} and get to pick an ending. Endings will be linked and posted next week on Halloween! Hope you like it! Also let me know if this format is annoying/troublesome. I like to think it’s more interactive, but if most of y’all find it a hassle then it’s not worth it. 

Oh, and Damian Wayne is 18 in this. 

* First off, you’re rollin’ with some pretty rich kids, so you while it’s possible you go to some Jank Halloween party at someone’s house

* You’re probably going to a bougie charity gala that “the Wayne” foundation puts on every year

* “Let’s draw” Stephanie states triumphantly, placing a large glass bowl full of torn pieces of paper in the table in the middle of the living room at Wayne manor.

* Jason only raises an eyebrow, turning his attention back to his phone

* “Draw for what?” You ask, notching everyone’s disinterest

* “Costumes for the gala of course” Stephanie says it’s like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

* Damian sputters

* “Why would anyone do that?”

* “Because it would be funny” she grins, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes

* Tim flashes her a look

* “There’s no way any of us are going along with whatever crazy costumes you’ve put in there”

* Besides it’s already bad enough that they even have to go at all

* Jason would rather watch Dick clip his toenails

* Damian just wants to spend the night with Titus and watch movies with you

* Tim was hoping to go to his favorite local coffee shop’s Halloween party

* Dick would rather go to the block party his friend invited him to

* Cass just wants to stay home and pass out candy

* Barbara’s smart enough to be “out of town”

* And you’re just happy to be here tbh

* Stephanie’s not deterred by their lack of enthusiasm though, a mischievous smile curling onto her face.

* Her hand are suddenly resting on your shoulders, her face pressed against your hair

* “Aw, that’s too bad. I was really excited to see what costume our lovely (y/n) would pull out.”

* She’s feigning despair, but as soon as the words tumble out it’s like all five of their ears perk up.

* “Out of curiosity,” Tim starts, setting down his laptop. “What are some costumes in there?”

* You aren’t facing her but you can picture the mischievous glint in her eyes.

* She’s got them now.

* “Oh you know, the usual: Wonder Woman, cat woman, Zatanna’s costume-“

* You shrug, so far those seem pretty tame. The bat family seems to reflect your opinion, visibly deflating.

* Jason will be honest, you in a Wonder Woman costume does sound pretty sexy

* But it’s not exactly taboo, if he hung around you long enough he’d get to see you in it eventually.

* Dick and Cassie think you would look pretty cute in Zatanna’s costume, something about that magicians outfit hugging your form just seems right.

* But like Jason, they think they’ll see you in something similar eventually. No point in going along with Stephanie’s antics.

* Damian thinks it might be kind of nice if you were Wonder Woman, and he was Superman, that way you could both match

* But the chances of you both drawing those exact options are low. He would rather just take his chances and ask you if you would want to match.

* Tim’s bright red at the thought of you on a car woman outfit, the tight suit leaves little to the imagination

* But he’s oddly possessive and he doesn’t want anyone else to see you like that.

* So basically it looks like a bust so far

* “- and robin, nightwing, red hood, red robin, and batgirl of course.”

* All five of their heads pop back up, Stephanie grins

* Got ‘em

* The thought of you in their costume is bewitching

* “I mean it only makes sense, they’re the costumes we have in house after all”

* You know it makes sense, and it’s practical, but their collective gaze makes you blush and look away.

* But if you’re being honest there’s a certain someone you want to see in a certain costume too.

* “I guess it takes the pressure off of choosing” Jason grumbles

* “It might be funny.” Cass shrugs, but you catch the slight blush on her face

* So you all sit in a circle the bowl at the center.

* Alfred enters with a tray full of drinks and snacks, takes one look at the seven of you, and promptly walks back out.

* He’ll just..... come back later

* “Shortest stick draws last” Stephanie says.

* Which is coincidently you.

* Jason gets to go first

* “I got-Clark Kent?” He frowns, it’s not the worst, but he’s confused. Does this mean he’s supposed to be Superman?

* “Oh, I put that in for fun, easy costume, just need glasses and a white shirt”

* Jason sighs, well it could be worse

* “Batman in a recession?” Dicks eyebrows are threaded together

* Jason holds back a laugh, he could be Dick.

* “What the hell does that mean Steph?”

* Stephanie shrugs

* “Like you know, instead of a bat mobile you have a Prius, and instead of those bat-erangs you have like, knives idk get creative”

* Duck huffs, you better get robin after this

* “Raven” Cass says. Praying no one will notice that her piece of paper says “the penguin”

* To her relief everyone passes right over her, she crsuhes the slip of my paper in her hand, and breathes a sigh of relief

* Tim spends several minutes shuffling his hand around in the bowl

* “Tim just pick one!”

* “I’ll pick one when I’m damn ready, I’m not getting Wonder Woman dammit!”

* The moods pretty tense, so you say-

* “Idk I think you would make a cute Wonder Woman Tim!”

* Cue Tim.exe failing to work, his hand shooting out of the bowl

* “Catwoman, well, I guess cat boy in your case” Stephanie reads off the paper from his hand and Tim only blushes darker

* Damian’s hand shoot into the bowl, pulling out a scrap

* “A tennis player” he reads in a deadpan voice before scowling. “Brown that isn’t even a superhero”

* “You watch Serena Williams win another championship and then tell me what she does isn’t a superpower.”

* Stephanie’s hand dips into the bowl

* “Dolly Parton.” Stephanie shrugs, she pit it in because she thought it would be funny if one of the boys got it, but she actually pretty pleased

* Stephanie’s sure she can make a pretty hot Dolly Parton

* All at once their eyes turn to you.

* There’s still a handful of scraps in the bowl, but you feel a bit of pressure under their gazes.

* You look down at your hand.

* “A cheerleader for your favorite superhero?”

* Stephanie had put that one in as a joke too, imagining Damian with clip on ponytails and Pom poms.

* “Yeah, just like it sounds. You get to pick which superhero you’re rooting for” she grins, this should be pretty interesting

* “So who will you go as?”

* You gulp, to be honest there’s only one person you’re really rooting for

{Love Choice}

Who’s the number one hero in your heart?

Dick

Jason

Tim

Cassie

Damian

Surprise 1! 

Surprise 2! 

I like marvel better

A/N: on Halloween next week you’ll be able to pick which ending/character you want! I’ll add the links in to each choice for the imagine. This is not a voting situation. They’ll all be written (probably)

[lunaajade]

Everything You Need to Know about “Shadow and Bone” on Netflix (*UPDATED: POSSIBLE LANGUAGE OF THORNS ADAPTATION INFO)

 Since it’s recently been confirmed that we’d be getting S&B content in a few days (finally!), I thought I’d compile and summarize as much info as I could to refresh everyone’s memories! Please spread the word/share this post to those who aren’t up to date! (I’ve seen some people online who are worried about how it’s going to turn out, and I’d like to be able to hopefully reassure those people)

Now, there’s a LOT of stuff, so there’s always the chance I missed/forgot something. This post will be split up into categories based on type of info, so here we go! I went back and listened to/watched both of the big live streams (NYCC and the S&B Charity Competition), went on the Grishaverse Reddit, etc. to find as much (extra/bonus) stuff as I could. (If I missed anything/got something wrong, please feel free to leave a comment!)

Update: A lot of people have been asking where it was confirmed we were getting content soon. I found out from one of the update accounts I follow.

Thanks for reading, everyone!

General/Key Info About the Show

-This first season will be adapting both “Shadow and Bone” and what has been dubbed a “Book 0″ (most likely meaning prequel/backstory/set-up) for “Six of Crows” -In relation to the above point, the timelines are being brought together for the show. (Normally in the books, the two series are set two years apart)(We don’t know how exactly or what this means for the story, but I have a really interesting theory that I thought up in relation to this, message me if you’d like to hear it.) -Leigh acknowledges and understands that some of us have doubts and are worried about the show, but she has publicly assured us (numerous times) of how much she loves the show and cast, how well she thinks the crew/writers did in bringing the Grishaverse to life, etc. See a later point below in the Facts/Tidbits section -The first season will have 8, one-hour long episodes -Alina has been made half Shu (half Asian) for the show! Leigh stated that was decided on after she and Eric had a lengthy discussion on Alina’s character. -The main cast (as in confirmed to be in all episodes) is comprised of Jessie Mei Li (as Alina), Archie Renaux (as Mal), Ben Barnes (as the Darkling), Freddy Carter (as Kaz), Amita Suman (as Inej), and Kit Young (as Jesper) -Wylan and Nikolai are NOT in the first season. (Nikolai didn’t appear until the second book, and Leigh confirmed that at this point in the story, the Crows had not met Wylan yet.) -Other cast members include Danielle Galligan (as Nina), Calahan Skogman (as Matthias), Daisy Head (as Genya), Sujaya Dasgupta (as Zoya), Luke Pasqualino (as David), Julian Kostov (as Fedyor), Simon Sears (as Ivan), Zoe Wanamaker (as Baghra), and more! -The Darkling will also be called “General Kirigan” in the show. From what we know, The Darkling will be the “enemy” to Ravka (so in essence, General Kirigan is his alias/fake persona (what he’ll most likely be referred to for most of the show), and no one knows that he’s actually their enemy. (Meaning it’ll most likely a super big moment when they learn their general was actually the Darkling in disguise)). -The show was shot on location in Budapest, Hungary. (And additional filming took place this past fall in Vancouver) -In order, the 8 episodes are titled the following: “A Searing Burst of Light”, “We’re All Someone’s Monster”, “The Making at the Heart of the World”, “Otkazat’sya”, “Show Me Who You Are”, “The Heart is An Arrow”, “The Unsea”, & “No Mourners”.

Other (Fun) Facts/Tidbits About the Show

-Upon seeing Jessie’s audition, Leigh loved her audition/portrayal of Alina so much that she apparently stated that she wanted her to play Alina or she’d be out of the project. She was sent five auditions to watch, Jessie’s was the third, and she said she didn’t bother watching the rest of them. -Leigh stated that she and Eric Heisserer (the creator of the show) said they were on the same page from the first meeting. All other past meetings with producers and companies about possible adaptations had left her with a bad feeling, but she said they’d had the same ideas about inclusion, story, staff, etc. She said she’s loved the respect he’s shown towards the work (and, in a way, to us the fans) -Netflix apparently also has the rights to adapt “The Language of Thorns” , though we’ve gotten no info on that adaptation yet. (UPDATE: I just watched a Leigh Bardugo event from Feb 2019 (a few weeks after the show was first announced, I think): As of  that day, she said that she thought that they were going to use LoT more for "texture” (IMO that might mean worldbuilding?) in the show. And I don’t know if she was talking about LoT specifically because she was very vague, but she said that there were certain things in the show that she thinks readers will be really excited about. Again, this was over a year ago, back when they were still in pre-production and stuff, so don’t take my word for it. Besides this, I couldn’t find anything else relating to a possible LoT adaptation. Maybe they’ll have the stories from LoT appear as actual folk tales told in the show, and that’s the “adaptation”? IDK. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpHnw8Ygw5c&t=1906s)) -Leigh is an exec. producer on the show! I’m no expert, so I don’t know how much say/power she had in the process, but she definitely had some. -There is a RAVKAN edition of the “Shadow and Bone” book that Leigh says makes a cameo in the show! -Jesper’s guns had custom etchings done on them by a Hungarian antique gunsmith! (And they were so good that Leigh and Eric said that it looked like it belonged in a museum--they were also described to be quite heavy!) -Eric Heisserer is the creator of the show, he is an award-winning writer, well known for “Arrival”, “Bird Box”, and more. (If I remember correctly, Leigh said that he’d reached out to her about making the show!) -A DeKappel painting (maybe the one owned by Van Eck?) was confirmed to be in the pilot episode. -Pekka Rollins and Tante Heleen have been confirmed to be in the first season, but their casting has (up to this point) not yet been revealed. -Bo Yul-Bayur is confirmed to be in the show! (Though Kuwei has not) -Leigh will have  a cameo in (I think) Episode 5! She will be wearing a Materialki kefta and will be opening a door, if I remember correctly. -A lot of the crew was also extremely passionate about the project and fans of the books -The “Lives of Saints” book that was published in October is an actual book/prop that is appearing in the show! -I’m personally fine with Mal, but Leigh says that Archie is going to change everyone’s minds with his portrayal! -The costume designer for the show is Wendy Partridge, known for her work on “Thor: The Dark World”, “Pompeii”, and more!  -The composer for the show is Joe Trapanese, known for composing for “The Greatest Showman”, “Straight Outta Compton”, “Lady and the Tramp”, and more! At the NYCC Grishaverse panel, they revealed a little bit of the score (”Grisha Theme”): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFxIEbsHKJA 

Fun Cast/On Set Stories/Facts

-The cast all loves each other, and are all extremely passionate about this show, which is great! (Leigh said that on her second visit to the set, she heard them singing together) -Leigh says that Ben Barnes once snuck up behind her on her first day on set and scared her by whispering “Fine, make me your villain” -Freddy’s favorite Grishaverse book is “Six of Crows”, but most specifically the first line of chapter 2 (”Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason.”) -Jessie would apparently come to set on some of her days off to support the cast and crew! -Sujaya has stated that her favorite Grishaverse character is Nikolai! (#Zoyalai) -Freddy has become famous/popular with the fandom, one of the reasons being because he often comments on posts/live streams asking something along the lines of “What was it like working with Freddy Carter? xoxo” -Danielle loves Nina and her journey in “King of Scars” -According to a Tweet, Freddy and Leigh said that there had been a scene with “a very pesky gate”--Freddy said that it “wouldn’t be proper to tweet the expletives [he] used that day” and that he thinks he “scarred” Amita and Eric. -Amita’s favorite thing about Inej is her silence, and her favorite Grishaverse book is “Six of Crows” (as of May, where we learned this during a live-stream, she said she’s read it three times and listened to the audiobook twice.) -There was a waffle truck on set on the last day of shooting! -Calahan says that if he could play any other Grishaverse character, he’d want to play Nikolai! -While she did work with the trainer to get more physically fit, Amita learned most of her knife techniques by herself! -Leigh said she cried a lot while on set! (She said there was one scene they were shooting that she has a very clear, vivid memory of writing many years back--based on the context of which she was talking about it, if I had to guess, I’d guess she’s describing the Winter Fete.) -Leigh also said that on one of her first days on set, it was funny/weird to see all the extras in First Army uniforms chilling on their phones, drinking coffee, etc. -One of Calahan’s favorite character dynamics in the books is the dynamic between Kaz and Matthias -There was a moment where Amita was fully in costume and doing amazing, graceful knife work, only to trip and fall when she’d finished. -Amita and Jessie and Sujaya were best friends on set. -Sujaya loved everything about playing Zoya. (Especially her confidence) -Leigh says one of her favorite props was Kaz’s cane, especially because of what it meant to her and the story. -If he could be any Grisha order, Calahan says he’d want to be a Corporalki -Calahan loves Matthias’s journey/arc. -Kit’s favorite Grishaverse book is “Crooked Kingdom”!

Links

-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X65iI1YXrbU (NYCC Grishaverse Panel) -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHou5rVs6o0 (S&B Talent Show Charity Live Stream ft. the S&B Cast!--the IG video got taken down because Archie deleted his IG account and switched to a new one) -https://www.netflix.com/title/80236319 (”Shadow and Bone” on Netflix!) -https://twitter.com/shadowandbone_ (Official “Shadow and Bone” Twitter!) -https://www.instagram.com/shadowandbone/?hl=en (Official “Shadow and Bone” Instagram!) -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRh-Pmbynww (Annoucement made by cast when filming wrapped! (can be found on the social media accounts, but here’s a link to YT)) -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bpY8uLtyB4 (A S&B Cast Crack video by HeartPhantom--it highlights a lot of the inside jokes and memes that we’ve gotten to witness among the cast, and also just generally shows off how hilariously chaotic everyone is (this cast is the definition of chaotic good, lol))

[rahleeyah]

I don't know if I can make it to next week. The anticipation is KILLING me. And then we gotta wait and see what happens with Rollins and Murphy (I am LIVING for that return too). Who else is WL gonna bring back? Lets guess. Haden? The ghost of William Lewis? KURT MOSS?

ok obvi i didn't hit this one before the crossover but. we get murphy next week!!! like oh my gosh i hope they do something good with this. i really, really like his character, and i hope that while obvi him coming back could be just the writers wanting to mess with rollisi i hope they treat him well. i hope we also get some explanation for why he told amanda that he would be there for her and then just fucken vanished. like he's got a whole ass child with her and he is literally never mentioned again? amanda never talks about either of her baby daddy's!! not even a mention of child support!! it's like they fell off the face of the planet! does murphy even see jessie? does jessie even know that's her dad?????? like i have so many questions so i hope they use this opportunity to kinda flesh that out a little.

and LOL can you imagine elliot meeting david haden? like him? liv? him? lmao bring back bayard ellis. let voight and elliot get into an actual fistfight. lemme see elliot and cassidy together i'm begging. KURT MOSS? lmao