#also i guess MAYBE I could work out the balance thing if i tied in three other characters of her backstory?

[sepublic]

Everyone jokes that Pit is the unpaid intern who depends on tips to survive, but in a way, Palutena is also that amidst the godly pantheon; So it's fitting her personal champion reflects those same frustrations. Because if you think about it, Palutena is the only god actually trying to do her job in maintaining the celestial balance and helping humanity, and without really asking for anything?

You have Medusa, Pandora, Thanatos, Hades, and Pyrrhon, whom are all self-explanatory. You have Dyntos, who is neutral and does lean towards the greater good every now and then; But his general inaction is still enabling, and Palutena is scared of him for a reason.

We have Poseidon, who actually DOES help Palutena, but also admitted to wiping out a bunch of humans casually, and otherwise doesn't do anything else to participate. And while Viridi does try to maintain the balance of nature, she also massacred countless humans and contributed to the chaos that attracted the Aurum. And humans are a part of nature themselves, too!!!

And it's interesting because Palutena doesn't seem to demand anything in return; It seems she really is doing this out of the goodness of her heart, more or less. She does have her issues and occasional petty condescension towards humans, but otherwise Palutena's the only member of the pantheon committed to keeping things together. And while humans do sometimes praise and worship Palutena, it seems that she'd help them anyway even if she didn't; She calls Magnus a jerk but that's really it.

That ties into how sometimes, Palutena does admit that she feels pressured and overwhelmed with her duty, and the way she thanks Pit for insisting she does a great job in Chapter 4 kinda feels like... Well, maybe she's fishing for compliments sometimes, because Palutena could genuinely use the validation and it's lonely. This is also why she admits she's honored that Hades knows who Palutena is, because Hades is presumably a big deal in the pantheon, and I think Palutena craves validation, as much as she wants to be pure and selfless about her work; She does genuinely care too, these two things aren't mutually exclusive.

There's the Chaos Kin arc, and while Palutena's possibly just saying she's sick of doing the dirty work for humanity because the Chaos Kin makes her... There could be a hint of truth, just how Dark Pit reflects the truth in Pit's heart; Again, parallels between Goddess and Angel. She admits she's tired of constantly having to protect and take care of the humans, which is like Pittoo being frustrated with doing Palutena's dirty work.

Which then gets me to another point; Pit being a reflection of Palutena's light, because I can kinda see her venting her frustration through him? If Palutena feels beleaguered as the only goddess protecting humanity and the world in general, then she might really appreciate having a devoted angel with infinite energy, who will jump to any task for her. Which makes Pit a way for Palutena to treat herself, let someone help her handle the load, etc.

But there is a darker side, with how Palutena will sometimes demean Pit, even appealing to Viridi and Hades in Chapter 15 this way; It kinda reminds me of people who are bullied, only to turn the bullying towards someone else and participating in that so they can be part of the in-group, not be laughed at themselves, etc. Plus her shutting down Pit's disagreement with "Are you the goddess here?" Especially since she might feel that she deserves more respect for her work, and isn't always given that by those 'below' her (AKA humans, usually). It feels good to at least take pride in what Palutena DOES have, right?

And that's Palutena dropping her filter around her own 'Palutena' because admittedly, Pit is in a subordinate position to her. And I guess it feels good, deep down, to be the one letting someone else handle the work, and exercising that power over them because Pit is someone Palutena can get away with being unpleasant around. Part of that is trust, because Palutena feels comfortable being herself, expressing her own insecurities and true feelings.

But the other part is expression frustration at someone who won't talk back, who Palutena doesn't have to worry about holding up an image towards; With other gods it's obvious, and to humans, she has to be their perfect, noble paragon of virtue. In the end, it reminds me of how some people tired with their jobs might take it out on their assistants, or others who are below them, to feel like they're the ones in control and who are being asked for recognition from.

That ironically leads to Pit's own latent frustrations with Palutena, which is furthered by him being unable to fly on his own. And that manifests as Dark Pit. And then Palutena's frustrations manifest through the Chaos Kin's manipulation of her. Imagine if Pseudo-Palutena returned in a sequel to genuinely be the Pittoo to Palutena's Pit, lol. Although her dialogue paints her as more of a mad religious fanatic than someone secretly tired of that work.

In the end, I wonder how much of this has to do with Medusa's betrayal; In the original NES manual, it's mentioned that Palutena and Medusa both ruled together, they're two sides of the same coin, Light and Darkness. But when Medusa neglected her own duties to attack humanity, that forced Palutena to exile her into the Underworld, which basically left her working double, perhaps. Again, like how Pit has to often do all of the work, despite there being centurions who can come back from the dead like he does.

In Pit's case, this comes from a fierce loyalty and protective attitude towards those he cares about; He's a good friend always there for others who wouldn't dare to ask anything of them, but that wears him out ragged. In the case of Palutena, she had to lose that option entirely when Medusa went on a rampage; But shortly afterwards, Pit rescued her and became Palutena's champion.

So Pit has a lot of work dumped on him, and maybe that's because he's essentially taking over Medusa's duties in being someone who works directly alongside Palutena to maintain balance. That could make him a fun parallel to Medusa in a way. And maybe Pit is aware of this, adding to his refusal to ever question or betray the Goddess of Light, because he knows she's already been hurt and is also doing more work than she's supposed to. His loyalty comes out of empathy and compassion towards someone he can tell really needs it.

But that selflessness can be self-destructive, because Pit will forget to consider what he's getting in return, and that gives us Pittoo, whose selfishness is framed as not inherently bad, and even good for him. But Palutena does care for Pit in return, in big and little ways, such as preparing a cold drink for him after Chapter 10. She cares a lot for Pit too, she'll cook a delicious vegetable stew for him!

You know if Medusa returns in a sequel, I'd like to know more about her and Palutena's falling-out, if there was actually anything more to it than just "Medusa looks down on humanity." After the Chaos arc, I could see her insinuating to Pit that Palutena will betray him for real, just as she did her... Only for Pit to redo that same speech about how Medusa is an unprompted murderer of helpless innocents, ya dingus.

TL;DR Palutena is the only goddess doing her job and it's exhausting and she takes it out on her secretary who is also in the exact same position, ironically.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAu - A Step Forwards

I am back! And After some thinking I have decided how I wanted this drabble to go :3

We are back with a Dream centered one <3 Boy is going through a lot.

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No beta or edits <3

@spotaus welcome back :3

*------------------------*

Dream wants to cry again as he looks around the very empty and abandoned living room.

So many things just.. left behind.

Cabinets full of movies and games and all kinds of different game consoles, some very exclusive versions from other universes.

Dream rubs another tear away as he looks around. The pictures on the walls also hurt. They are all of the gang and a few of them has Nightmare in the background. Looking confused with his skull slightly tilted. Killer is often the one who clearly took the picture selfie style.

Dream pauses at another picture. It is Nightmare but he is reading. Clearly distracted. He is sitting on a large chair, tentacles just laying all over the surface of the chair. Nightmare fully distracted as he reads a book while sitting cross legged on it.

Dream remembers that Ngihtmare would always sit cross legged. Spine in a curve as the read.

He had once asked how that could be comfortable. Nightmare had just said it felt nice...

One day he stopped sitting with his spine curved and instead would lean heavily against their mother.

Dream slowly removes the picture from the wall and hugs it close. How could he not have seen that his brother was still there? Just within reach? But Dream had once again not seen it...

A hand on his shoulder shakes him out of it and Blue looks worried at him "Dream?"

Dream leans against Blue "How can I just... not notice? Be so blind and stupid and..."

Blue frowns at him "Dream..."

Dream stares at him "Why didn't I just listen?" No wonder Nightmare left as soon as he could... With them no longer being gods of balance... Nightmare is actually free to do whatever he wants... Why did Dream think Nightmare would still want to be near him after everything?

Blue frowns at him "Becuase you believed it was the right thing to do."

Dream glares down "That is the problem isn't it? That is always what happens. I thought heloing the villagers was the right thing to do but ti wasn't. I thought spreading positivity was the right thing to do but it wasn't. I thought that Nightmare needed help and changing him was the right thing to do. And guess what?! IT wasn't!"

Blue just keeps looking at him "You were a child."

Drema shoots him a glare but Blue continues "You were a child. A child who had a mother who was, I am gonna be honest here, not a good person."

Drema feels bad as he shakes his skull but Blue holds up a hand "Dream. I read that book. I can see the clear favouritism a mile away. But that? That isn't your fault. The way the villagers acted? Wasn't your fault. You were a child. A child who trusted his mother. Who trusted those who were nice to him because why wouldn't you? Why would you think someone would hurt your brother? That idea probably hadn't even come to mind as even a possibility."

Dream glares at the ground and hugs the picture closer "And what about me making the disbalance worse? Me acting as if i knew better when i didn't know anything? When i didn't even realise what my actual title was?"

Blue tilts his skull "Well... who taught you those things?"

Dream opens his mouth "That woman who broke me out of stone and lied- ... oh..."

Blue just smiles sadly "You were surrounded by people who used you for their own needs and wishes Dream... People who hated your brother for no real reason... I am not surprised those some people would tell you lies and poison your ideas on how stuff works."

Dream shakes as he leans against his friend, his best friend. Maybe his one true friend in the multiverse. Mostly as he doubts Nightmare ever wants to be friends again.

Blue rubs his shoulder "She raised you right?"

Dream gives a slow nod "broke out of stone the same way i was when i went in... She got me out and... well... raised me... made sure i trained and would keep repeating how nightmare had caused all the pain adn that they had always known it would happen..." That Dream shoudl ahve stopped Nightmare sooner. that Dream's lack of worry and saying that Nightmare wasn't that bad caused the pain. That it made Nightmare able to destroy their home.

... okay Dream is starting to think Blue may have a point on this.

Blue looks at him "What now?"

Dream stares at him "What?"

Blue gives him a look "You need to make a choice Dream. Because from the looks of this?" he waves around "The gang has moved ages ago. THe fact we haven't heard about any raids or any sus things? They are probably doing something else. Nightmare must have figured out he was successfull in rebalancing the balance and decided to leave it behind."

It only stings a little to hear that. But Blue is right. It had been Nightmare who rebalanced everything. They had seen his office. Files upon files and reports upon reports and so many schedules... all to keep track of the tiny shifts in balance.

Drema had just been running around the Omega universe and doing chores to help people...

Blue continues looking at him "What do you want to do now? Do you want to continue looking for Nightmare?"

Dream does want to continue looking for Nightmare but... He looks around again. Sees the home that had been made... A home for his brother... a home he hadn't been welcome in.

Dream looks at Blue and thinks "I want... I want to see him again... But I don't think he wants to see me..." he looks at the many pictures. and then to the crown they had found tugged away in a drawer "I don't... I don't think he even knows I love him... And that is on me... Even if other stuff isn't completely my fault that is my fault." his failing as a brother. As older twin.

Blue puts an arm tighter around him.

Dream looks at the picture in his hands. the one he is already planning on stealing and keeping for himself "I made a mess of so many things... And when he tried to explain I let lies others told me get to me instead of being brave and trying to understand... I made everything so much harder." he looks at Blue "I want to fix that first..."

Blue frowns "You mean...."

Dream nods "I am going to tell the council. Explain that I had been wrong."

Blue stares at him before smiling brightly "I will be there with you! I am so proud of you Dream!"

Dream smiles as he looks around the cold room. They will do one more search around this place. Look for anythings that Dream can keep save in case Nightmare wants them back... and maybe, like this picture and the crown, a few things that Dream wants to keep.

--

Dream set up the council to enable more universes to talk and interact. To help each other and to spread messages in case of emergancies.

Turns out that hadn't been the best idea.

Well!

At elast this way this should spread quickly!

Dream waits nervously before shooting Blue a look. Blue sees him look and smiles as he gives him the thumbs up.

Dream takes one more look around the table and is happy to note that Error and Ink are both here as well. This is good! Their truce will help set everything to be calm!

Dream rises to his feet and the group quiets. It is okay. He practised this. He smiles brightly "Hello everyone. Thank you for coming this quickly. I know it was shot notice."

Some mutters and someone asked if Nightmare did something again. Error huffs but remains quiet. Ink shoots him a curious look but Error jsut flips him off. Clearly a familiar interaction between them.

Dream takes a deap breath before speaking up "It is connected to my brother yes. Mostly. The balance has been restored."

Silence and Error actually sits upright.

Some mutters and someone congradulates him for his hard work.

Dream shakes his skull "You misunderstand. There is a balance between everything. including emotions. I may hav ebeen spreading positive emotions but All I was doing was unbalancing things. I was making the problem worse. For this I am sorry and we are very lucky my brother did know what he was doing and fixed my mess."

Silence before someone asks how him bringing happiness could be a bad thing.

Dream shoots them an annoyed look "Go you want to laugh and cheer the next time your human kills your brother?"

A long silence.

Dream huffs "That is the start what a multiverse without negativity would cause. I did not realise before I was making it worse and I apologise."

Some uneasiness around them as someone asks the question that most are not asking. If that means that what the gang had been doing had actually been helping the multiverse at large.

Dream nods "It was. And now we are talking about it. I was never a god of positivity. I was a god of balance who very much misunderstood his job." then lastly "Not that it matters anymore. With the balance restored I am no longer a god of balance. I will eventually get, pick or find a new calling but it won't be emotions again." fuck he hopes it isn't emotions again.

Some people keep trying to ask if they really need negativity and can't just get like a negative corner or the bare minimum.

Error grows annoyed and speaks up "This si why this shit is useless. It is like destruction and creation. Like life and death. YOu want your world to get overpopulated until you can't make enough food and everyone will starve? That is a world wihtout natural death. You want the multiverse to get so full with half finished and glitching universes? That is what happens when ou want destroy stuff and do clean up. You want to laugh manically when someone you love dies? That is what happens when you don't have negativity. It isn't that hard to understand." Error sees that everyone heard and lays back down.

Dream shoots him a smile but Error jsut continues to glare at him. Right. Error nad Nightmare had been friends. Dream turns back to the group "Error is right. THis is bigger than one of two universes. This is bigger than all of our worlds combined. But foremost it is important that everyone knows that my brother was never the villain."

Some people try to go against it but Dream just keeps repeating the same message. His brother is the reason things are stable and everyone can still feel normally. He is the reason the balance is fixed. He wasn't the villain.

And he will repeat it as many times as needed until the message sticks.

*------------------------*

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[imthepunchlord]

So, awhile back, you mentioned that for your miraculous rewrite, you were considering turning some of the akumas into their villains, so out of curiosity which akumas do you think could works as their own villains?

Teeeechnically spoilers, though the fic isn't coming that soon and I guess this wouldn't really give away too many details and not everything is for sure...

Honestly, most of them, so far, are a handful of the season 1 akumas. I can't think of any akumas from s2 that stood out to me as potential villains to stand on their own, and I stopped watching around s3 so any akumas post s2 I either don't remember or just haven't seen.

Horrificator I'd vote to be a mythical creature, as in hindsight, it's kinda icky that the plus size girl is the only one with a monstrous akuma out of all girls (that I know of).

So Horrificator instead may work better to be her own thing, and be an intro to other types of magic out there than just the Miraculous.

Darkblade I feel could've been his own thing, could've tied him to the Arthurian legends (maybe he has a corrupted Excalibur), or could've been tied to the Catacombs, which I don't think Miraculous has covered yet, and he could've had a magical sword that animates suits of armor. And if Chloe was to have an arc, could work off him targeting her family as he seeks to be the mayor.

Mime I could see possibility in being his own villain, the ability to mime could be it's own sort of magic and could be fun; but I do also think he was one of the better akumas in s1, having a good balance of being powerful but having limits, and a good set up for him becoming one. So he could go either way.

Pharaoh I'd lean being his own villain. Rewatching it recently, he was a very awkward akuma as he wasn't working off Jalil himself, he was like he was the actual pharaoh revived, talking about how he clashed with a Ladybug hero 5000 years ago and I'm like...

Does this mean the Butterfly also has the power of letting old souls possess people in the present? Or is Jalil just LARPing as an akuma? Idk. It was just really awkward so he's be an akuma I'd vote to just go ahead and be his own thing. And it can work off classic mummies being enemies.

The last one off the top of my head is Volpina. I'm of the belief that Lila either should've come to Paris already having the Fox, or she did actually buy the Fox Miraculous from the jewelry store. This also goes in hand that I don't think Fu should've had 16-17 Miraculous with him (depending if you think he does have the Rabbit or not as that seems kinda up in the air). It actually makes much more sense that he lost more than just 2 or 3 given the chaos, and it better works off him sending out the very two Gabriel wanted if Fu had more limited options on what he could do.

This also could've had Volpina nicely reveal to the heroes that there are more Miraculous out there than the initial 3 they knew about. This also would've made Lila work more naturally as a threat if she had a Miraculous and was playing hero, competing with the other heroes for glory, and coming to side with Gabriel later. A lot better than her spending s2 sulking in her room.

There could be others, but off the top of my head, these are the major ones.

[kpoptarotvibes]

Thank you for your feedback. I don't really charge as i don't do this professionally. I wanted to write a bit more but i reached the limit, heres a bit more from what I gathered. So in fact since he is a Capricorn Rising, Saturn rules his chart (for every sign there a planet that rules it), and having his chart ruler Saturn in Aries is really indicating to me that, that problem of his is highlighted in his life. So this planet anywhere it is, it shrinks that house and makes the native work really hard (pretty much a life long process) for whatever that house represents. I didn't really want to mention this the 3rd house also shows us the individual's relationship with their siblings, so I would be surprised in it was smooth sailing on that as well. He does have an aspect between Saturn and Neptune, they square(harsh aspect) each other, so he has this inner tension between reality and illusion and what's actually happening to him. So it does create feelings of inferiority and not being able to sort of meet the standards of whatever illusion Neptune wishes to create. He also has Saturn square his Venus, which would indicate to me a problem with relationships. His Saturn in the sign of Aries and it's what's considered debilitated which means basically that whatever that planet it meant to do is in exact opposite sign. Responsibility is a big part of Saturn and being in Aries this is someone that's always avoiding it/always changing up their mind. To me this is not someone you can depend on cause first of all they can't depend on them selves, they are rather running towards things that are igniting their passion(Aries, it's literally the God of war) which again not at all what this planet is about. What you said about the family's control over his career. 2 notes on that. Just like Saturn represents the father figure, the moon represents the mother. So everything I said about the 8th house here applies to the relationship with his mother, it doesn't necessarily mean that it was happening between them, it could be that his mother was going through 8th house matters(mental illness, etc)when he was growing up resulting to him feeling neglected, I am not surprised he wants older women with this either cause subconsciously his wants to be nurtured and cared for to feel the gap he experienced as a child. Now onto the career and family. Well his 4th house (family life,home,again mother relationship) is in Aries the sign of war. To me maybe his parents fought a lot, or maybe him and his mother did but overall this is an upbringing that was very competitive and yes you guessed it, his 4th house ruler (since Aries rules Mars, we have to look where Mars is placed) is in the 10th house. So for sure his childhood really played a significant role with him wanting to achieve more and more. People with this, strive to find a balance between the home life and their career. So a lot of the times for him to feel emotionally secure it has to be tied with his professional achievements. He would be responsible for representing his family to the public and will potentially seek validation for every 10th house matter from his family. So career choices yes most definitely are influenced by his home life especially the mother. She might have acted very authoritarian. Again do you see the pattern, a strong more in a sense masculine type of attitude from the mother, no wonder he likes girls that are either into sports/competitive, or a bit more on the masculine side. Definitely not I.U that's for sure. At this point I would like to point out that to me there's nothing really in his chart screaming at me womaniser, especially with all this Virgo going on but his Venus is libra and while it's actually on of the signs it rules and helps him tremendously when it comes to his career, in relationships this is a very idealistic sign, that in fact finds it very hard to work things out when it comes to hardships + with that Saturn square Venus he is way more insecure that he let's on and potentially is intentionally avoiding to commit..that's all for now!

So this is part 2 to her chart reading...

Wow it seems like no matter what his competitiveness and his drive to be a singer always go back to that childhood trauma of moving out into the world alone. And how he was treated by his parents.

I have picked up on him intuitively always being forced to change by the universe. Because he has to evolve here too like other souls. He can't stay the same.

About that womanizer thing, it's funny because me and my best friend were talking about how we don't pick up on him being a womanizer at all. LOL!

Omg please come do my chart! This was great.

[seeminglyseph]

I feel really bad because relatives visited and I was so tired I just like. slept through the whole thing. and I'm worried that I'm gonna catch hell for being rude, or just. like. I feel like I missed a chance for human interaction. but I just... have been really tired lately. body sore. exhausted. also just like. I think my sinuses are inflamed or something because just. everything feels so fuckin' like. swollen. I feel like migraine-tastic and have not been able to get out of bed.

and like. I am not sure the balance that needs to be set 'cause they all had to be doin' renovations in the room next to mine, and like. ultimately, hopefully, I will be the one benefiting from it. and like. yay. but also. loud banging and dust and stuff as a result of renovating that room, so boo. and like. I don't know how to like. sort myself or organize my sleep schedule to be convenient so it's like. I'm trying but also like... if I get high stress and need personal space and time alone it feels like I just end up adapting to nocturnal as a coping mechanism. like the more I am overwhelmed by being awake the more I shift so being awake is at night? and it's like inconvenient to other people and I want to try and adapt it to work at a timeline that's like... normal and decent for the people who have ended up working around me, but like. instead it's like... "I'm gonna scream and throw up and tear all my hair out"

which like. not conducive to an environment where I can like. handle this. the migraines and the intense heart rate is like. absolutely thrashing my ability to function and like. I fully do not know what to do. And it feels so... like. A me problem, that's like. so hard to describe. that like... I don't know if I'm just being crazy. and I know I do feel crazy because of other things, so like it doesn't help... and I'm wondering if I caught a mind case of covid and couldn't tell it from a cold or flu and now I have long covid and if there's any way to tell if that's the case since I also have had the vaccine so I'll have the antibodies anyway. or maybe I had a really nasty reaction to the vaccine, I mean it's a net good to have a vaccine but not everyone is gonna have a positive reaction and I've always been really sensitive to medication. There's been some ties to IIH and the Johnson&Johnson vaccine, I got the pfizer but I saw somewhere there was a controversy with the pfizer too. I'm obviously not anti-vax in any way, I think they're a net good. I'm just like... always going to be in some way cautiously aware of the fact that the medical industry is fallible and an industry? Like I've gotten the vaccine and boosters, but as a human being I'm allowed to be like.. "I've had a lot of health issues since then, I wonder if there's a connection or if they are unrelated. I wonder if there's a way to test if they are related and if there's a way to do that without undermining the whole industry and just going 'I am a person with health issues that might make the vaccine behave differently within my body'" you know? like not. 'vaccine bad' but like 'my body is not a typical healthy body, my autoimmune issue might cause the vaccine to react differently' so my questions are not laid at the validity of vaccines as a concept but at like... 'could there have been complications due to the medications and compromised system already housed within my body' you know?

It's such a thorny issue because like. any question that seems to be against the vaccine is like... seemingly irrational anti-vax, but like... I'm just wondering if I happen to have like. A fucked up weird body that happened to have a toxic response in some way? it has nothing to do with like... Is the vaccine bad, but like... was it bad for me, I guess. And even then it's like. kinda speculation because I'm overwhelmed and I feel really really sick and I really don't know who to ask for help anymore?? sometimes it's like. fuck it's been like... two years since we found out about the pressure in my brain, and I still feel like I don't know what's going on. I just have migraines and a fucked up heart rate, and most people kinda forgot about the heart rate because I've been doing a bunch to keep it down because I feel so fucked up when it gets high. So it looks really low, but I also look really lazy. but I feel it beating really hard but I don't know how to like... prove that to people, because it's mostly just a feeling. and things just smell... strongly and bad. all the time. and I don't know what to do about that and I don't know if it's topiramate or not anymore... and considering my mom is like. the queen of making me doubt my perception of reality in her own little way, maybe I've just spent 3 years living exclusively with my mom without my dad to balance out her habits and I just. Am fully losing my mind. "I don't smell anything. I didn't notice anything. It's not that bad. You don't really have any needs." etc.

I don't know what is healthy to want or need, and since I've been kinda my mom's keeper since I was a child and now my dad's not here I feel like I have to be here for her... but also I'm disabled and in debt so I fully cannot move or get a job or go to school because like... it feels like making excuses but like. I am very ill and in a lot of pain, disability is a real thing that prevents people from functioning and I don't have to keep justifying it to myself when I know full well how bad my situation is and can be. I know what trying to keep up can do to me and what I'm incapable of doing. just because if someone took a picture I would look like a person that people like to make jokes about, doesn't mean that the inside of my body works right. That's the shame talking. I know full well that I can't 'just try harder' because I tried harder and just got sicker. I *know* that. I'm going to doctors, I'm doing my best with what I have and it's okay that it's not as much as what other people can do. it's okay. I'm allowed to be sick and need support. That's what being disabled is. Having a hobby that I do now and then doesn't prove I'm not disabled, I can't curl up in a ball and die just because things take effort and drain me. I can't only prioritize self-improvement or helping other people. Sometimes I need to have fun or do things for me. It's okay to spend time playing a video game or drawing pictures that are just for fun. I can exist for me that's fine. it's normal and reasonable and in fact probably recommended because my mental health is necessary for a healthy lifestyle.

oh I am definitely talking myself down from a guilt spiral I don't know why I am in this weird headspace. what the fuck...

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi, thank you so much for sharing your knowledge here, your work is truly a gift in providing reliable reference to study MBTI. I need help with typing my personality. I am a 29 y.o female, I was diagnosed with anxiety and had depressive episodes. My guess is I am an Ni-dom, I relate more with Fi-Te axis so I’m considering INTJ, but also INFJ because I don’t fully believe I am a thinking type.

For Ni dom and Se inferior (for INTJ and INFJ): I seek explanation for patterns that I see like noticing if the traffic is emptier than usual during a public holiday, then thinking maybe it’s because people are celebrating at home, or people celebrated last night until late. Then such observation informs my future planning i.e. “last year, people celebrated at home so the traffic might be empty during that public holiday and we should schedule a day out”.

Ni-Se is shown in how I often live based on “how things should be”, like following a tested routine that would ideally save time and money but gives me stress and discomfort, and I didn’t allow myself to spend money required to side-step inconveniences that suddenly happen outside of that routine because it doesn’t feel right. I postpone going outside unless all the conditions are met, like leaving at the intended time, have learned the route, and have planned what to do there.

Te-aux and Fi tert (for INTJ): For important project, I want to ensure there is high probability of success by searching for evidence like when applying for scholarship, I searched resumes of past awardees to model a situation i.e. “If I have A, B and C happen, there are higher chances of getting the scholarship. I haven’t found evidence where someone had those three and didn’t get it”, then look what factors I’m lacking and where to get it. In a leadership position, I want everyone to be engaged in the project, but if someone is being irrational, I believe it’s best to go with what gives best outcome because people will come around once they see good result.

I relate to Fi because I use my past experience as a way to relate to others, like often saying “If I were you…” or “I would do that too” which could point toward Fi. Tert Fi also made me criticize myself, like if I have an episode of uncontrolled emotion or if I have made another friend hate me, I would just say “Well, that’s just who you are, a person who have difficulty controlling your anger and bad at socializing".

Past loop behaviour (Ni-Fi but could be Ni-Ti): In high school, I was in science olympics, met people smarter than me, and started to fail more often. I also admired a guy (maybe INTP) because his intelligence comes from genuine interest in knowledge. So I rationalized my failure was because I chased external goals and because I wasn’t genuine enough like the INTP guy, then blamed my parents for giving pressure to achieve things (faulty conclusion), and started hating people who are ambitious or who follow the rules. I was inspired by some of the athletes which made me missed pursuing something competitively, so I decided to be competent in my chosen field starting by having good grades.

Fe-aux and Ti tert (for INFJ): I don’t fully relate with INTJ because I laugh a lot and smile a lot in a large group conversation, especially if I feel the need to impress that group, which I don’t see in the INTJs I knew. When talking to people, I search for topics that would will make it a good conversation (things that will encite strong emotions in them, or talk about their goal, or my goal, it should be a balanced exchange). I often assume what people are thinking, like “This person seems happier when talking to person A than when with me, maybe because I dissociated too much before so our connection was not as strong”. When watching movies, I am often interested in the characters’ motives and how they make decisions, and how the world responds to such characters.

My Fe could be unhealthy because I judge people quickly in a negative direction without having the patience to keep a neutral position to investigate first. My interaction with people ended up making me feel annoyed often because I focused on the bad qualities in people, like people using MBTI superficially to feel superior or people hating for the sake of hating other groups (could be Ni-Ti). I hope I give clear enough details on the function, and thank you again for helping me with this typing

----------------------

The submission instructions state that you must respond to all the points in the guide for every function you are examining. It appears you haven't used the guide properly, so your description is lacking in detail. You have given me the info you believe is relevant rather than giving me specifically what I asked for. This means I can't do a full analysis. There's enough for me to conclude that INTJ is unlikely, but not enough to confidently confirm that INFJ is the correct type.

[mettywiththenotes]

How do you think an interaction between Tomura and Eri would go? I have my own post about it that I'm working on, but I would love to hear your thoughts!

Hmmm hard to say

It's hard to imagine Tomura around little kids

Sometimes I imagine that he'd accidentally scare Eri with how he looks (not just looks but. The Villain Vibes. plus yknow she saw him destroy half the city on tv, thank you very much for that core memory all might) and he'd be all "...whatever" about it but still feel sorry for her, maybe even try to make her feel comfortable afterwards? Not get too near and let Eri have her space

I think he'd be cautious around her. You could put it down to him just not knowing what to do around kids or being afraid he might hurt her somehow, whatever

I do think Eri would be at least a little scared of him at first but if Tomura were to behave carefully, she wouldn't be tempted to run away. Or maybe she'd just find him both scary and strange for a while

I don't know how exactly they'd get to any bonding

Sometimes I like to imagine that Eri, for whatever reason, is self conscious about her scars. Maybe she's trying to hide them or she's upset and clinging to whoever she feels safe with, however she shows it. And then Tomura just shows her his scars, the ones on his face and such, maybe just as a "hey I'm the same, I have scars too, a person who was supposed to take care of me did this" thing

(Tho when I imagine that scenario, I also think about Izuku being in the same room and watching this, and maybe showing his own scars too on his arms. Just the 3 of them talking about it and Izuku is the balance of positivity about it, because I doubt Tomura would have a lot of positive things to say about his scars. So Izuku would be the one to say "these are proof that I've lived, and that's the same for you! for Shigaraki as well!" etc ndsfnisdjk)

Honestly not sure how Tomura and Eri would interact if the League were still together (you know those League-Eri au's?). I always imagine them meeting in scenarios where Izuku has already saved Tomura and the two just end up interacting somehow (maybe through association with Izuku? the I Was Saved By A Teenage Hero And Now He's My New Brother club)

Part of me thinks Tomura would also have a little bit of awareness about what she thinks? Idk, maybe it's just me jumping to conclusions but those comments he made in his backstory narration about kids being simpler and sneakier and saying "when you're little, a grown ups words are absolute" tipped me off to that. Maybe he wouldn't have an exact knowledge about it, but he'd be able to guess with how he felt when he was younger? If that makes sense

I do think, despite how distant or awkward Tomura might be with Eri, he'd be kind to her too. Again, the whole "I know what it's like to be that scared as a child" thing coming into play. This also ties in with the above paragraph, how he could relate to her in a way?

If we're to go with the After Tomura Is Saved scenario I mentioned before, with how Eri seems brighter in canon now and a little more eager to do things, I think she could also help him improve somehow. Not in a huge way, but just. in small ways. Maybe seeing someone much younger than him recover from a similar situation could help Tomura feel better and want to do better

Finally, I can't help but think Eri would love to braid his hair. Imagine Nejire taught her how to do it and now she can't stop, and she sees Tomura's long hair and she's like 🤩. And if Tomura is okay with being touched, he'd let her do it while he's playing a game or something. He doesn't really pay much attention to her actions until she's all done and he's looking in the mirror and he's like "hm. oh 😳 huh"

(I'm living vicariously through a 6 year old. I wanna braid his hair so bad)

Sorry this is kind of a messy scattered way to lay out my ideas but. thems the thoughts

[ahjdaily]

INTERVIEW: Albert Hammond Jr on His New Opus: Melodies on Hiatus (MonsterChildren)

For archival purposes, full text is stored below.

JUN 25, 2023 | BY NAZ KAWAKAMI

Where Albert Hammond Jr’s solo records, 2007’s,Yours To Keep, made us fall in love and 2018’s, Francis Trouble, was a consummation, his brand new album, Melodies On Hiatus, feels like a happy marriage being lived.  

The nineteen-track double record is a long listen by today’s standards - standards which encourage one-minute-thirty-second, double-hook double-chorus, TikTok-able garbage - but an enjoyable, nuanced, and fragrant one that doesn’t try to be anything other than what it is, which is to say, a good time. Featuring collaborations with GoldLink, Matt Helders, and Rainsford, to name a few, Melodies is an expansive, and developed multi-genre collection by an artist willing to spruce up, cut down, and build out in whichever direction the song takes them.

As a whole, when compared to previous albums, Melodies On Hiatus is more spacious, and, strengthened by or perhaps even made even possible through a lyrical collaboration with Simon Wilcox, draws from a deeper emotional well, although I do believe that even if Albert had abandoned linguistic reasoning all together - if he had taken a note from Sigur Ros’ heartwarmingly nonsensical Hopelandic and had chosen to develop a dialect all his own, the album’s layering, patience, and strength of melody - particularly on stand out tracks like ‘Caught by Night’ and ‘One Chance’ - would be enough to hit, to feel, and for the song’s emotional fingertips to graze your own. 

On the note of emotional fingertips grazing one’s own, Melodies On Hiatus flirts. It knows what it is and what it has to offer, and can accommodate you at any given mood with a confidence that one can’t help but find simultaneously elusive and alluring, and as we claim in our next print issue, it is an album to make friends to, to have sex to, or maybe both. It is for listening, but also for living. The double album floats but doesn’t mope, with moments of excitement and complexity that accent and balance the minutes of moodiness and tranquility. 

We recommend hitting play on the album embedded below before proceeding. By my best guess, I don’t think we’ve spoken to Albert since last Splendour in the Grass, so about a year ago.

By my best guess, I interviewed you around this time last year for Splendour Weekender. 

Was that a whole year ago?

Yeah, Splendour in the Grass is next month, I think.

Geez, yeah, I remember that. I was in a very different place. 

You were telling me about how you were listening to The Body on audiobook. You’re a big audiobook guy?

I don’t know if I’m a big audiobook guy. It helped me read more, so I guess it’s a good crutch for reading. Damn, what was that…

It was all about anatomy, I think. I realize this is a weird start to an interview.

No, not weird at all. Let me see where it was… Audible or… oh god damn it, I gotta sign in? This is bologna. 

Are you reading/listening to anything currently?

I mean, clearly not if I gotta sign in. I was listening to this book called, When Things Fall Apart, which was pretty good. It was pretty fascinating, just about this person whose life starts to crumble. It’s the kind of book where you could start at any chapter and it kind of fits somehow with whatever moment you’re in. I try pretty hard, and I do pretty well sometimes, but it’s only the occasional book that cuts through. There was this Japanese author…

Murakami?

Yeah! I read one of his books, and I started another and was like, ‘great, this is another book that I’ll get like a hundred pages in, and then I won’t have read for like five days, and then I won’t remember anything.’ But I read the whole thing and it was amazing, then picked up another one and failed. Work in progress, man, work in progress.

Yeah, that kind of ties into my greater thematic question which is: what media or art have you taken in recently that may have affected, inspired, or influenced this new album? 

Oh, just microdosing life. 

I saw that on a shirt in Japan once!

Microdosing life?

Yeah! 

I thought I thought of that. Damn. I mean, look, I think that if I sat down with nothing and created something and then I got asked about it afterwards, maybe I’d be able to understand the process, but because it’s like a little bit every day, and throughout your life you build an encyclopedia of different works that all push in different directions, it’s difficult to say. This record is tough. I had made Francis Trouble with a band and an alter ego and a frontman, and accepting that that’s what this was and not wanting to lean into a band name, and I thought we achieved what we wanted to achieve. I mean, I don’t think I ever achieve what I want to, I’m just saying that so it’s not so depressing. With this album, I thought it’d be fun to make a deconstruction of that. I always make demos and build on them and try to create a vibe and it changes, so I thought, ‘why don’t I just keep the demos and the drum machines?’ And there are some songs on this album that don’t have that, but a majority are like, a drum machine app I had on my phone. Just fun, vibey things. 

Sometimes it is really that simple. 

Sometimes it is! I liked that and I didn’t want to have to go any deeper than that, and songs started coming out over time. I thought this was going to come out ages ago. I started working on these songs back in 2019, so I thought I’d release them in maybe 2021, but then Covid happened, and the process slowed. But because this has been such a long process, I don’t remember many of the details of inspirations and what not. 

Do you think that you thrive in parameters? Was it easier to work within the confines of the capabilities of a drum machine app? 

Well I only used the app because I just had it and as I was taping demos, it was just quicker on my phone, but then it felt sort of right. If it sounds cool, it doesn’t matter where it came from. To some degree, I do feel good in parameters. In my mind, if you told me to write a story about whatever I want, I probably wouldn’t do the homework, but if you said to write a story in this place, my mind might have an easier time. I do push structures of songs but I do like understanding that there is a structure. I try to keep things as simple as possible so that I can see where things are boring and where they are exciting. A lot of the time when you’re writing, you can do things to the drums or guitar and it’ll sound more fun, but really it’s just not a great part. When you’re listening and everything is dumbed down, you can hear and be like, ‘this is where it gets boring. Why?’ and then you fix it. ‘Caught By Night’ was a song that we sort of pieced together and built up at the last minute and added a different drum machine, and it just worked. That, ‘Never Stop’, and this other song were the three songs at the very end that came in a burst even though the album was kind of done at fifteen songs, we just added another three. 

Even fifteen songs by today’s standard is a very substantial album. 

Couldn’t stop, dude. Couldn’t stop.

It’s interesting to me that you were writing while recording, I don’t hear a lot of people doing that.

I think that there’s always one really good song that happens when you’re recording. I’m constantly writing little things and putting them in voice memos. They aren’t songs, they’re just like, ideas. If I played them for you, you wouldn’t get what it is. There are just all these things that come up while you’re recording and in that space that you’re like, ‘oh there’s something here’ and you push on them, and some lead to another thing and you throw away the bit where it started, like when a rocket takes off into space and throws off that booster piece. The idea leads you to a better one. 

What is your editing process like? If you come up with a song last minute, do you just bump out other ideas?

Something that Julian told me a lot is that when you create something, you love it because you made it, and you have to sweep away stuff that isn’t as good as others. Those things don’t have to be gone forever, but you need to be able to see what is exciting. I have songs that I keep coming back to because I know that there is something there - it’s like your own personal puzzle. 

Are there any songs on this album that you’re like, ‘no one else likes this but I think it’s great, so fuck you all, it’s going on the album,’?

That’s a funny question. Ah man. It’s not that no one understands- we’re not there to kill something, we have long discussions. The biggest thing when learning to create is understanding that ideas are very fragile. You have to slowly take what this idea is trying to say and pull it out. You can record an awesome demo and then you go to record it and you murder it because you lose what it was about in the first place. I have no idea why that is, I think that that’s why producers are so sought after. It’s easy for an artist to overthink because maybe it’s perfect in their head but by being perfect, all the charm is gone. 

Someone told me years ago that if you are the artist, you shouldn’t be the one who decides when your song is ‘done’. You know what I mean? Because it’ll never be done. Collaboration is really important in that way, and that’s very present in this album with collaborations between you and GoldLink or Matt Helders.

Totally! I always need to talk things out. It’s not like because it’s my album that I’m not going to read the room and see how people are feeling about it. There’s a song from my album, Momentary Masters, called, ‘Caught by My Shadow’, where I knew that I wanted this riff as the whole song. Everyone was like, ‘this is just a part, right? There’s this and then something else comes?’ and I was like, ‘nah nah nah, the whole song is that.’ I knew that when it got to the end, that people would understand, and they did, but at the same time, I’ve had a lot of times where something is not working and the feeling is there not just with you but with the other players. The point is that when you’re writing, you aren’t trying to be right, you’re trying to not be mediocre. There’s no winning. The fun, the point, is in creating. I love melody and giving rhythm to it and building it out, and then it goes deeper and hits you in a way that makes you feel something. That’s bigger than words for me. Like in classical music, you feel it in your guts. It’s not about doing it my way, it’s about trying to do something that you think is great. 

The singular genius/lonely artist is such a romanticized trope in stories and in media, but it undermines the potential and importance and ubiquity of collaboration. Nothing is done in a vacuum.

I think that the people who are telling those stories aren't the ones creating. If you’re creating something like music, it is meant to be heard, but so is the experience and the journey of making it. You’d want to share it, no? Share in the process. I never liked when people give too much credit or assign too much to one person, or especially give guff to someone. Like when people talk about Ringo that way. Really? Do you know how delicate it is to be in a band in a room? Put another drummer in there and see if that chemistry will still be there. I don’t think it would at all. You know when you throw a party and you’re trying to create a vibe, and one weird guy throws it all off? That’s the same thing as when you’re trying to find people to create stuff with. Maybe some people do have a moment and see it all, and that’s great, but it’s also very lonely. People want to share. 

Do you think that that’s a motivator for you to make things? Because you want to share?

I don’t know… I don’t know why I am doing this.

Yeah, what the hell are you doing, man?

I remember being a kid and falling in love with Buddy Holly and that you could do that as a profession. It just seemed so magical. It’s just something that I do little by little every day. Like if I have a day where I’m like, ‘I don’t want to write, I am done, I am spent.’ And then I start playing something and my immediate thought is that I can't wait to create this and share it. 

You’ve been working on this album since around 2019. You’ve put in a lot of time and thought. What are your hopes with this album?

I guess besides the hope of it connecting with people, I kind of have reached what I wanted in simply making it. Everything after that is out of my control. I can’t convince anyone to like it or to feel it. I really just sit innocently between each song and create a world that I’d want to hear, or create something new that I haven’t done before. I wasn’t trying to make a double record either, so maybe I’m stuck in that, still. I had twenty songs and was like, ‘there’s no way I’m writing twenty lyrical sets.’ I didn’t take the 20th off just to have one less; I like lyrics, I love lines. I’m just not great at putting those lines into a whole. Sometimes I really nail what I want to, but when I was staring down the barrel of twenty songs, I didn’t even know where to begin. It’s weird to have written these songs throughout all of this time, having been in so many places in my life, and now the album is out and everything still connects;  it’s been amazing. So you’re asking about what I consider success or what I want for this. That, to me, feels like more success than I thought I would get out of it.

[kiwibirdlafayette]

I’d love to know more on you’re apotolesma theory!

Awe heck yeah i gotchu >:D

So basically its a little abstract but hear me out The idea comes from the definition of the word 'apotelesma' which translates to "the influence of the stars on human destiny"- and in the case of origins, it relates to how o!jordan and o!scott are bound to each other in a way that transcends soulmates, its more like having an intent and purpose on two sides of the same coin, being so inherently tied together whether it be what you're seeking or why you were there in the first place, that it manifests in the form of a power so great that it has the potential to influence how things go.

In the case of Jordan and Scott, its that they fall on two sides of justice (the balanced/calcuated side, with Scott being Ia's son, and Jordan the more not necessarily chaotic, but driven/passionate side as Dia's son) and are bound to the Overworld and the Homeplanet (respectively), the two forms of home- they bridge that metaphysical gap by providing the other with a second half to some kind of intrinsic power they already possess. And they can use that for all sorts of things, but mainly to create rifts (contd.)

(Its also meant to sort of explain why once only purple particles on Scott are suddenly becoming red more frequently, because his soul bound guy is here now. It'd be even further proven if Jordan starts showing purple in his particles that them existing in the same place is empowering one another in a funky kinda way)

From a practical standpoint, this is how I think Jordan's gonna be able to get back to the homeworld- via some kind of portal, some kind of rift. The way he talks about the homeworld makes it seem like very distant place, and to me that makes me think about it that its a place alike to the End, or the Nether, which can only be accessed via portals. So, what if the homeplanet is maybe 4 wormholes away, or a dimension alike to the Nether that could be accessed via something like an Aether portal. So the stars above the sky are an Aether i guess?? idk I think it could just be really neat?? but the catch is that for it to work under this whole pretense I've set up, they'd need a key (like a flint and steel to activate it that they'd have to work together to make)

And the parts of that key could be something they'd have to craft (that only they can) based on some intrinsic quality they have about themselves, or if you wanted to get some kinda Big Server Endgame lore, it will involve the two of them having some kind of hand in an event that either saves or drastically alters the server in someway; I started thinking about having to save it, along the lines of corrupted fabrics of reality at the hands of the DMCA something something opening a rift to protect the server

Jordan's half of this "influencing" power comes from his dad, cause in SKoD Dianite uses a similar power alongside Queen Khailani to banish Anphidhea to the Spaces Between; Scotts comes from Ianite, but is amplified in the time he got shot from the homeworld to the Overworld, something about wormholes and stuff i haven't quite figured it all out yet [:

anyhoozers i hope that makes some kinda sense this is more a braindump than anything super concrete yet

[wild-battlebond]

kalos crisis arc notes! the kalos crisis… is always cooler than expected.

131

given that the mega evolution energy (i think that's what they shoot at it) overclocks Z2's dislike for humans, did lysandre ever really have control over it at all? or does that just reflect and therefore resonate with lysandre's distain for humanity (latter probably makes more sense because mega evolution?)

hooray overgrowth representing destruction 👏👏👏

it is pretty unique (for the anime at least) to have the evil team's plan overlap the league

132

like in other similar crises throughout the series, it's trainers who have the capability to keep the vines at bay and protect other people (this, too, is "balance"… it's people and pokémon working together that can protect others)

james points out that it doesn't look like a natural disaster. which, again, is fun contrast given that it's vines

i do think that alain going dead silent while ash gets kidnapped is kind of compelling. also don't they try to crucify ash

WHERE'D TEAM ROCKET GET A HELICOPTER FROM

basically he took control of a god & took away its free will and now says that it just so happens to be doing exactly what he'd like it to be doing. like basically he's displaying himself to the world as a messenger of a god when he's the one controlling it. he refers to zygarde as a being of creation 🤔 (which is kinda more xerneas's thing? are life and creation the same thing… could be an instance of a team leader getting the function of a legendary pokémon mixed up? although zygarde does destroy then create, a form of balance. and then you could also say one core is creation & the other is destruction etc etc…)

"we have forgotten how to share" maybe you should have just funded a new care bears show or something then. instead of all this

i think alain could have been more effective if he was written as more of an older brother-type character instead of a brooding mean guy. oh well.

lysandre calls the people he's keeping the "chosen ones" - implying an ancient legend, except it's something he made up

i also think squishy's cries out to Z2 are compelling. trying to contact one's other half that won't respond (and is destroying a city)

it's also sweet how bonnie can sense what squishy's doing

yknow this is kind of like a worse gates to infinity

THEY DO CRUCIFY HIM HAHAHAHA. GABUMON MOMENTS

133

how does alain's mega ring even store the mega evolution energy. it's so small. anyways this is on him for being kind of a tool

it is pretty messed up that he shoots ash (and greninja) with a beam that has an effect. and tries to make them the chosen ones of a new world. and the fact that he breaks out just through the emotion of loving the world… another rare xy cinema moment. it's like hugtto precure.

SO TRUE!!

this really seems like a him issue. like yeah I'm pretty sure that people do have a right to welfare. i think you're just bad at running a charity

134

thus far it doesn't seem like they're doing anything with it but i do find it interesting that ash's team (and alain's charizard i guess) are battling again only a few hours after the league match… it must be rough well i guess they do start dropping like flies as an indication of this, but i mean like if they had visible signs of exhaustion or hindrance by untreated injuries.. so forth. but maybe that would have made this too complicated

it's nice that clemont gets a Moment. the youthful ideal of a world where people only build things that benefit others…

BOO I FORGOT STEVEN SHOWED UP. GO BACK TO ROCK CAVERN

ALSO SO TRUE.

it really is so awesome that bonnie is so closely tied to a legendary pokémon like zygarde

(GUY WHO'S ONLY SEEN APPMON VOICE) WOW THIS IS JUST LIKE APPMON. because this is similar to appmon it stings a lot more than the first time i watched this episode

135

it's kinda weird chespie becomes the center of the Giant Rock

the sundial came from space… so mega evolution is tied to space?!

frogs who can sense things

'serena! stay here and watch over the kids' shut up for real

136

getting the gym leaders involved is cool. also a first for the anime & i do like 'sacrifice relay' kinds of things where everyone gets picked off to let the protagonist through

oh was everyone saying "let's go" originally ikuze. like in the song

oh i forgot lysandre survived jumping off the building

100% forme… is actually cooler looking than i remembered. (is this, too, due to the impact of digimon…? did xros wars make me too used to incredibly ugly giant mech-things)

100% forme being a fusion of the two cores is an extention of XY's theme of two binaries fusing to become one (e.g. mega evolution and bond phenomenon)

it's kind of awesome that the cores say they want to rest IN the sun

[magentaink18]

Although there are a lot of unnecessary sub plots in the redux version of Apocalypse Now, the anti-war message is much stronger (kinda because there’s more instances of needless destruction and displays of America being shitty) but I guess it is also diluted with the goofy sub-plots so it balances out anyways.

Also Chef has unspoken rizz. Man managed to pull a playboy bunny despite completely ignoring her interesting infodump about birds. Well I guess he didn’t “pull” her per se, but they seemed to get along well, like she was being genuine or at least came across that way because if she was putting on any kinda act, we wouldn’t have had the bird monologue but idk man I guess you need to talk about your interests when you can when you’re working for an enterprise that is in place to oppress and dehumanise you. I love bird lady more than anything but Hugh Hefner can eat shit.

This film’s fatal flaw is its overindulgence but the self awareness does take the edge off ,, like the narrative, characterization and general composition is amazingly produced and entertaining while still clearly communicating a serious message. I think the main critique of glorification is often misinterpreted irony. Like many aspects are so hyperbolic (nonetheless accurate to the actual Vietnam War) that they’re meant to appear ridiculous and uncomfortable in order to convey the corruption of the US military

Also funny surfer man go brrrr

Song - Let’s Go Trippin’ (Dick Dale)

I literally never make edits of characters and then the one that my brain decided to make one that ignores the importance of the central message of the film it’s from .

I suppose there’s always the argument that the main cast of characters were drafted against their will and are just trying to get through it. Of course that doesn’t justify everything they do. I’d say the character who makes the least effort to participate is Chef bc he never fires a gun at anyone (apart from the tiger because the poor fella’s terrified). But what I’m saying is that the main characters aren’t into war or particularly patriotic and it doesn’t fully align with their beliefs much at all - they’re just tryna get through it - unlike , say , Kilgore. They are characterised in unique ways in which any pRiDe fOr tHeiR cOunTrY (used to justify corruption) they may have isn’t explicitly there or at the centre of the way they’re characterised.

Me when idiot surfer man who does nothing but fuck up at the expense of other people

Sorry guys my neuros are divergent I need to have a balance of fun and silliness with analysis and critical evaluation when watching this film for the 100th time

They also made Willard way sillier and goofier. I love to see the poor jaded and traumatised lad actually have a little bit of fun. A few giggles for a treat. Just a little bit of clownery to balance out the edginess.

Respectfully, there’s also a significant increase in boobs in the redux version, immediately making it better than the Final Cut /hj

Also also they gave Clean a proper burial and sendoff,,,

Sure, the Final Cut is better in terms of what constitutes a good film but the redux version fucks if you liked the Final Cut for its narrative and characters aside from its more filmic aspects. Not to say there aren’t some elements of cinematography that were left out the Final Cut that go hard as fuck. Like the transition from Roxanne behind the curtain to Willard back on the boat in the mist ,,,, mmmmmmmmmmm

It also ties up a few small minor loose ends and clarifies on a few details

Willard’s from Ohio? *insert Ohio joke here idk man I’m British*

Maybe I’m psychoanalysing Chief too much rn but out of all the characters, the way in which they’re presented, he’s the most likely to have started off as the most patriotic. However, his whole thing is following orders and ensuring order and professionalism is retained so maybe he could just be a fan of those things and not inherently having his motives be that he’s abiding to the rules because he loves his country, but abiding to the rules because he loves rules. Whatever patriotism he may or may not have had is destroyed over the course of the film and meets its definitive end with the death and burial (as seen in the redux version) of Clean. The scene where he folds up the tattered US flag that was previously on the boat and hands it to Willard. Or at least that’s my interpretation since he still made that whole announcement when handing it to him but it just felt as if he was reciting empty lines if anything but idk but he’s an interesting character either way. But damn that scene goes hard and it was good to see Clean get the sendoff he was entitled to instead of his body just disappearing without an explanation :’]

[tipsygeek]

So I just finished running Pathfinder 2e's The Slithering with my group, and I have thoughts. If you're a player, maybe don't read this?

It's a long read, so I dunno, get your coffee first or something.

The Slithering spoilers ahead.

You've been warned.

My players bought this book for me because we all thought the premise was really cool, and I still think it is! What's cool about it?

Takes place in Kibwe in the Mwangi Expanse

No humans allowed (go crazy my furry friends)

The stakes are really high (the city is afflicted by a curse that transforms people into ooze!)

Starts at level 5!

I read through the whole thing and thought "Welp, this'll need some serious TLC." Because this adventure starts at level 5 rather than level 1, the characters should either 1) have some downtime to get to know one another, 2) already know one another. The adventure gives zero opportunity for this.

So I added an introductory chapter and background elements:

All characters had been part, when they were going, of a sort of school/orphanage situation

While they did not necessarily know one another (they could) or have strong ties, they all had a reason to be in Kibwe: their former headmistress was getting married

The adventure started weeks before the first case of Slithering

They had friendly NPCs they could go to.

I could introduce Tomil and his sliminess (intended) ahead of time.

The intro, that enabled them to test out their characters, get acquainted with other characters, and start working as a group was "find the lady's future husband, mister got lost in the jungle."

After that intro, they got to the marketplace where the adventure actually starts.

And here's why it's so important: the first fight, against black puddings, is motherfucking hard!

Actually most fights are. This adventure is pretty brutal tbh. This was a recurring theme until the end.

A problem I've encountered, mostly running this game on Fantasy Grounds, is that several encounters did not have maps, including the first one. At a table I can "guesstimate" a decent map for a market or a temple, but I can't really improvise on Fantasy Grounds. Other adventures (i.e. Quest for the Frozen Flame) are much better at giving maps even for tiny, seemingly innocuous fights.

Once the adventure started, we had a lot of fun with encounters that were not combat (helping the medics, the debate with the fearmongerer, etc.) Along the end of Chapter 1, after a long dungeon crawl, I also added a bit of a sidequest with the Boggards to change the pace a little.

Every single part of this book is met with a very glaring problem (super obvious in part 2):

The party is on a very limited time frame (they're racing against a curse)

It's impossible to complete the dungeons in a single run so they need to rest (and feel guilty doing so by YMMV)

There is no mechanism for what happens when they go in and out of the dungeons, how the denizens react

So I had to improvise A LOT. I've got nothing against improvising but it was just... a lot of raking my brains lol

Finally, after all this, I basically cut the last chapter by 80%. I had issues with it and didn't think it brought enough to the story, it was just like one of their excessively long final dungeons in JRPGs. My issues with last chapters were:

Definitely against the clock (now they're racing a statue THAT DOESN'T STOP)

Same map as the last "dungeon in chapter 1" but different denizens

The motivations of the denizens make no sense because the bad guy actually died before the adventure began

Final note on my apparently lengthy list of complains: a lot of enemies are fought over and over and over again. Oozes (I guess that makes sense), cultist, Athovians... it becomes tedious and difficult to make fights interesting after the third or fourth fight. There could have been more balance.

THAT BEING SAID! We had a lot of fun, I have an amazing group who built the story and each other up. It's doable, but as a GM I found this adventure to be the not-fun kind of challenge. If you ever are interested in running and want to know more about my setbacks or experience, hit me up!

[imthepunchlord]

So, going off the last few asks, here's my guesses on the new pairs of the og 7:

Ladybug and Cat (good luck and bad luck) (canon pair) (makes sense to keep them)

Peacock and Fox (opposite colors, blue and orange) (one associated with the air/sky and one associated with the land) one represents truth, integrity, and life, and the other is tied lies, trickery, and ghosts/death)

Ok, now this last one is iffy. It's either butterfly and turtle or butterfly and bee. Butterfly and Bee have some stuff going for them, opposite colors (purple and yellow) and a theme of Chaos vs. Order and Dependent vs. Independent. The Butterfly and Turtle also have stuff going for them. Depending on what color wheel you use, purple's opposite color could be green instead of yellow. They could represent both aspects of provision, protecting and supporting. And lastly their is the thematic parallel of the "main" villain and the "wise mentor" character having the miraculous that go together. Personally, I'm leaning towards Butterfly and Turtle, since going off your reasoning in your old A Declaration of Love fic, the bee makes little more sense to not have a partner. Bees have a lot of symbolism related to teamwork, connections, working with a group, hardwork, and other stuff like that, so it makes sense that the bee instead having one partner is meant to be able to work with anyone.

It's a maybe. It depends on how I do pairs, which I haven't decided yet.

Like do I work off actual animal pairs that do show up in different myths and folklore? Turtle has ties to Rabbit, Crane, and Snake. Also technically Dragon(fly). And there's possibility in doing Lion with Mouse, Wolf, or Tiger. Eagle with Fish, Dragonfly, or Snake. Raven and Dove are also an old pair that have been tied together since Mesopotamia.

Or do I work off themes? As Ladybug and Cat do work off the European themes of good and bad luck. Raven and Rabbit can also work, black and white, Raven's tied to the sun and death while Rabbit is tied to the moon and life. And yeah, Peafowl and Fox do have a nice color opposites and truth vs deception, but that's not Fox's only option, as Bull/Ox often stands for integrity and honesty, and is far more direct to Fox dancing around the bush.

Or do I do a mixture of both? Like, Lion and Mouse could work as a combo on both ideas, as they cover bravery vs fear, pride vs humbleness, power vs cunning, integrity vs deception, dark and light colors, blue and pink, ect..

There's also a debate on do I really keep all of the original 7 together? Despite often promoted together, in actuality, only 3/7 truly need to stay together: Butterfly, Cat, and Ladybug. All the others are honestly kinda removed from them and the show didn't do a good job to validate why these 7 are in a group together.

I am also going to aim for pleasing color wheels, for those that are black and white, their secondary color is what's going to count on a color wheel (blue for Rabbit, pink for Mouse, Horse and Goat are going to be more purple), which sets up Cat and Turtle to compete for the green spot of the color wheel. I don't need two greens and I don't really want to change up the canon colors of the kwamis (at most is just changing Longg to be more orange but it's still a reddish orange; or I could work off Tikki being a reddish pink and just skip out on orange for the bugs).

The other factor is, given how powerful Butterfly is, and the default set up of Ladybug and Cat both being necessary for it (though Cat is a stretch canon wise), I wonder if it should be one of the 5 that doesn't have a counterpart. As, by default, that is set up to be the "leader/diplomat" of the 7, the one who oversees things and acts as the neutral 3rd to the pairs when there is discourse and balances things out.

Though, insect wise, Bee and Butterfly are my top two picks, but I'm not sure I want two insects to make up the 5.

Either way, I do have a lot to think about and consider. At this time, Ladybug and Cat are the only confirmed pair.

[dorimena]

𝕷𝖆𝖈𝖊 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕮𝖆𝖐𝖊

𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯; bakugou katsuki

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱; 1.4k

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰; fem!reader, lingerie, sex toy (vibrating butt plug), implied edging, implied overstimulation, pegging, mommy kink, dacryphilia, dom!reader, sub!reader

𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔰; garterbelt, dry orgasms, didn’t know lima bean respect day existed, if you haven't realized i refer to reader's dick as cock whether flesh or silicone, implied aftercare, aged up character, Bakugou is in his 20s

𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢; late gift for the birthday boy who i haven’t written anything about until now. It was supposed to come out as a small fic, but University kept getting in the way and I’ve fallen behind with some pendant writings. Guess this is my first headcanon thing. Not proofread!

April 20th could mean anything for a lot of people:

In the US, it’s National Pineapple Upside Down Cake Day.

Also in the US, it’s National Lima Bean Respect Day.

Internationally, for the weed lovers, it’s 420 Day.

But April 20th simply means it’s your boyfriend’s birthday.

Bakugou had been hinting about wanting a small surprise for a while, whether big or small

And by hinting, I mean downright telling you every breakfast, lunch and dinner spent possible throughout March that he wants something from you, but doesn’t want to know what

If you were Mina, you would’ve thrown a party at some lowkey club and hired one of the best DJs in the city, if not the country

If you were Kirishima, you would’ve taken him hiking to a new mountain someplace else in Japan + a weekend glamping getaway

If you were Sero, you would’ve gone to do something relaxing, maybe a spa? Aerial yoga? Definitely not to just see his ass in some yoga pants

If you were Kaminari-

Well, that’s actually an interesting thought… What would you have done if you were Kaminari?

Bakugou wearing a black, see-through thong, the most sensual looking lace garterbelt you could find in his size and a pretty black bow sitting on his ass is what you managed to come up with

Sure. At first he was ready to fight, but then he remembered who you were so obedient baby boy mode was activated without any more fuss. That, and his fucking fantasies.

He’s also been fantasizing for the past few weeks leading up to his birthday about how you’d probably ride him. Maybe fuck him? He doesn’t care, just wants to be babied and loved and fucked good until he passes out to wake up a week later.

Maybe not, he still has work to do

Another reason he put up with this is because, y’know, you tend to be nicer on special days so-

Bakugou wearing a garterbelt makes you feel so many levels of horny in a span of 30 seconds once you see it on him. It accentuates his already envious waist line even more. God, you can’t wait to see him bent over and ass up.

So you tell him gently to do so from where you’re sitting, and he does it so prettily.

Reminds you of a graceful cat, the way he turns around on the bed, chest already down onto the bed sheets as he pulls his torso as close to his knees as possible. Juicy ass is as high as it could be and wow, the thong doesn’t do a good work at hiding the glimmer of the diamond butt plug.

Pity it didn’t come in any other color than white, but it came with the lingerie.

You didn’t even warn him when you turn the butt plug on.

The promised low setting already sounding pretty loud, his small huffs indicating it’s not as overwhelming yet.

Good.

But by now, you’ve left it on for a good while, watching as he tries not to lose his balance or shuffle too much to ‘lose the appeal’.

He’s cursing at you in airy moans, vermillion eyes glaring at you. Why are you teasing him? You’re meant to be nice.

It’s his fucking birthday

You’d punish him for his impatience, but you already punished him the day before.

You don’t want him not being fucked in the ass so you turn the vibrator up to the last setting, smiling sweetly as he curses even louder

This is still punishing but nice, right?

He seems to agree

His arms are restless, moving from staying beside him to moving above his head to grip at the sheets.

His hands also go to grab his ass and pull the cheeks apart to show you how he’s clenching desperately around the toy, whining about how he needs you right now, to stop fucking around and get your big ass cock in him or else-

But that “or else” doesn’t really get finished, not with you startling him with your speed and sight of the ribbons.

His arms are tied now, forcing him to keep spreading his ass, to keep showing himself off.

This has him burying his face into the bed, hiding how red he’s gotten from embarrassment.

You don’t allow that, so you press your hand onto the plug to push it in deeper.

He yells out your name, body jolting as the toy relentlessly messes with his prostate while your other hand curiously goes to touch the front.

The thong is absolutely soaked and sticky, and when you move your fingers against the fabric to feel just how sticky it is, Bakugou tries humping them, well, really just trying to rub his dick against your fingers because wow the stimulation of the fabric is n i c e.

But you’re not having it just yet, you wanna appreciate his perfect posture a bit more.

Reminder: the butt plug is already at its highest setting.

So the next best thing you can do is smack his ass because your baby loves that, loves how you leave compliments and praise for how it jiggles and gets a pretty red. He does it for you, after all, makes sure it’s always at its best presentation.

But he’ll never tell you shit because then you’ll tease him and embarrass him in front of his friends.

So a few slaps in, being careful with his hands, all followed by cooing at how it moves, how it blushes, how it’s now matching his face and probably dick too, has him trying to fuck back into the vibrator, but he’s humping absolutely nothing and growing more and more desperate and horny.

You back away from the bed, going for your camera to take another pic for your growing collection.

On the bed lies Bakugou Katsuki, all tied up, lingerie getting sticky with precum, the laciest garterbelt you’ve ever seen decorating his waist while he’s panting heavily, ass in the air, face completely red and wet, whether it be his sweat or tears.

He’s holding his ass apart to show you the vibrating diamond butt plug that’s been stuck in the highest setting, buzzing away as he’s whimpering your name, hiccuping “mommy, mommy, mommy” as he pleads for mercy, wiggling his ass as he tries luring you back to his body.

“M-mommy! Hnnnm tuh-touch me! Plea-ease? Please~”

Hey, aren’t you supposed to be nice? Eh...

He can’t come alone from the vibrating butt plug, never has been able to before, and if his rocking hips don’t indicate how much he wants to either fuck the bed or have your hand on it, you just ignore it.

Let’s see if tonight he’ll be able to cum hands-free for once. And make sure he cries more and more everytime he gets to cum from your cock and only because of your cock.

Basically that’s your birthday gift. Fuck him good until he either forgets his name, he's a babbling, crying mess, he's completely milked, or all of the above.

After hours of being edged by the toy he finally came, but in thin, small amounts, so you had to fuck out a few more rounds and cum out of him before he passed out.

In all honesty, he begged you to fuck him until he passed out. He had been fantasizing about it, after all.

After you both had your final orgasm of the night, rather early morning, he’s in tears, body trembling through the last tremors of his 2nd dry orgasm out of what? 7 orgasms? The copious amount of cum he’s managed to get milked out of him drying everywhere on his body, drool wetting the bed sheets even more than they were, room smelling like caramel, asshole fluttering around nothing and dick twitching as if wanting more.

Bakugou’s speaking gibberish at this point, the only coherent words leaving his dumb mouth being “mommy”, “more” or your name as he slowly succumbs to his exhaustion.

You give him your premium grade A aftercare during the little time he remained conscious and took care of everything else as he slept.

Next day, you cook breakfast, even if he grumbled about the taste or appearance.

He’s a good boy, he’s not gonna yell at you or be ungrateful with anything and everything you do, considering you put up with his anger. I mean, he gives his opinions, insights, inquiries through loving shouts of disapproval and approval.

All in all, he liked his birthday, but told you he kind of expected you to throw a party and had mentally prepared himself

Goddamn it. Guess next year you’ll call Mina for some help

[bookshelfpassageway]

okay, so, the Druid character class:

when you say “Nature Magic” does that mean like, summer/spring when everything is green and alive? Living plants and animals and activity and growth? Or does it mean “all things natural”? Could I hypothetically build a Druid character around the entire concept/aesthetic of Autumn? Or is there a better class that fits that idea?

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

ɴᴏ ғᴇᴇᴛ || Ben Hargreeves

Weddings and Funerals ✦ part v 

Years after they rose to fame as young crime-fighting superheros, the estranged Hargreeves siblings come together to mark their father’s death.

⚠️warnings: multiple mentions of nausea but no v*miting. limited to both flashbacks I believe.

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

- 𝟮𝟬𝟬𝟬 -

The moon shone brightly over the city, the skyline of lights reaching for the sky twinkling with it like stars. The wind was cold and harsh but the seven siblings sit tucked away in the warmth of Griddy's Doughnuts. Their mother had bought them some time to sneak out. Their bellies were full of doughnuts and hot chocolate, the warm air around them bringing the smell of those very things.

A young Ben pulled his gaze away from the window, his eyes tired of chasing the dusting flakes of snow and refocused on his plate with a groan. He was suddenly reminded of the time Diego and Klaus tied rubber bands around a watermelon until it burst. That's what his stomach felt like; one delicious rubberband away from a very messy situation. Ben pushed his plate and his fourth, now half-eaten doughnut away.

Catching Viktor's eye from across from him, Ben gave him a curious look, offering the half-eaten food. Viktor smiled thankfully, but shook his head, leaning back in his chair and cradling his stomach. They both laughed a little at their full bellies and the waitress made her way to the table to collect the dishes.

Ben thought it best not to think about his stomach, and instead had found himself engrossed in the impossible-to-ignore argument growing at the other end of the table.

"-I didn' th'ay tha'!" Luther cried through a mouthful of doughnuts, crumbs flying from his lips as he leaned into the table to peer over Allison. The poor girl was cringing and shoving Luther off of her with her shoulder as she dusted off the crumbs he was getting everywhere, and Ben couldn't bring himself to blame her.

"-Y-Yes! Yes! You did! D-don't try that s-s-shit!" Diego threw back. "'Go right. G-go right.' That's what you s-said!"

"Oh, yeah? Oh-"

"-Uhh, yeah!"

The waitress slipped back into Ben's peripheral view with a tight-lipped smile, a tray of dishes teetering haphazardly in her arms. Both Ben and Viktor sent polite, thankful smiles up at the woman but she seemed to barely notice in her attempt to grab their plates with her already full arms. If Ben were to guess, it had been her first day on the job which struck him as odd considering he and his siblings had seen her working the late shift for as long as they'd been coming here. Maybe it was an off day for her, Ben thought, and those hotheads probably weren't helping.

"-yeah? Okay, my bad-"

"-yeah, y-your bad-"

"-Then tell me, th'omething then, 'iego. th'ince when doe'th righ' mean lef'? Huh? When did I mith'-"

The woman had finally gotten Viktor's plate to balance - and had declined their help - making a final reach for Ben's plate. Picking it up in her one free hand, it teetered in her grip right before Ben's nose, the smell hitting him in full and sending another wave of nausea over him.

"Sorry-" she muttered. "You done with this?"

Ben nodded, not daring to open his mouth and risk it. But he did catch something flash in her eyes, something he couldn't quite pinpoint. But too late - she was gone. She had disappeared behind the counter and around the corner before he could figure it out, leaving Ben and Viktor to scratch their heads and continue calming their stomachs.

"I wonder if she's okay," Viktor muttered.

Ben shrugged his shoulders, taking deep breaths to try and soothe his stomach, his mind no longer on the waitress. He just hoped he could make it home in time without making a mess. He also hoped the fighting would soon stop, but Ben knew not to hold his breath on that one.

"Not looking so hot, there, Ben," Five interjected, pulling himself away from his conversation with Klaus and Allison. "How many times do I gotta tell you?"

Ben swallowed thickly, surely turning green.

"Ration your food," Five says. "It'll last longer."

"And miss the pukefest?" Klaus cut in excitedly. "No way! Come on Ben, one more you can do it. You're a growing boy, hell you're eating for two! Or is it nine-? Guys, how many tentacles does Ben have?"

"Klaus," Viktor lectured, but nobody seemed to notice him.

Ben had hastily shot up from his seat, a hand flying to his mouth as he ran to the nearest exit.

"Wait! Ben-?" Viktor cried, watching too late as his brother disappeared around the corner.

Viktor sighed, sitting back down in his chair, realizing he had half risen in protest when Ben ran. Viktor's stomach was threatening to turn and he knew he needed to stay seated.

The squeak of the kitchen partition door cut through the air, barely noticeable to the rambunctious huddle of siblings. That was until the waitress returned to the table, looking her more chipper self.

Viktor looked up, half expecting a bill to be dropped at his side only to be taken aback by the same waitress with empty trays, frowning down at their equally empty tables.

"I'm sorry," Viktor said, having to clear his throat at how quiet his voice came out. "Is something wrong?"

Still frowning curiously, the waitress, Agnes, shook her head reluctantly and smiled, seeming to brush it off. "No, I don't... I suppose not. Please excuse me-- So, are you all finished here?"

It was Viktor's turn to frown, and by now Five had caught on as well. He had turned away, yet again from Klaus, and was now looking up at the woman with great curiosity.

-"Sorry?" Viktor asked.

-"Yep. Same as two minutes ago," Five says flatly, hooking an arm over the back of his chair. "You just cleared our plates, remember?"

"Sir," the woman says, beginning to lose her hospitality. "I haven't. I've been in the back restocking for the last five."

Viktor and Five share a nervous look, and by now, even the others had caught on.

If this was the waitress, who the hell did they just see?

•·················•·················•

Ben wiped at his sweaty brow with the back of his hand, wondering how in all hell he managed to keep down deserts. The cool air certainly helped, and so did the old car bench against the wall.

Ben thought about facing his siblings again. He knew he'd get an earful, but he supposed that was the better alternative. He had just reached for the door when he heard a rustle behind the dumpster and he froze.

Something inside him he couldn't quite consider instinct told him to ignore the noise and return to his siblings inside. But the odd trail of footprints in the snow begged otherwise. He found himself pulled away from the door in curiosity, his full stomach quickly forgotten as he shadowed the trail of footsteps leading behind the dumpster and around the corner with caution.

Ben was no detective, but he knew feet didn't get smaller. And what once looked like the imprints of heels, had gradually morphed into bare feet.

The noises also grew louder.

Loud enough to the point he could decipher them as frantic chewing and the warbling of dinner plates clinking together. Against his better judgment and suddenly thinking of every horror movie idiot he and his siblings had ever yelled at, he found himself calling out into the night.

"Hello?"

The sounds came to an abrupt stop as Ben came upon the corner. Utterly bewildered, and now only just on the other side of the brick from the source of the noise, Ben prepared himself for the unknown.

And what he got was most unexpected.

A kid-his age-hidden in the tightest corners of the brick wall and the second dumpster, seeking out what little body heat she was pumping out. Crumbs of Ben's unfinished doughnuts clung to the corners of her lips as she huddled in a blanket, faded blue winter coat three sizes too big, and darkened jeans dampened from kneeling in the snow. She looked embarrassed to have been caught but was promptly shoving her anger to the forefront.

"What?" Ben realized he hadn't said anything for a considerable amount of time when he processed her question. "What are you looking at?" She pressed.

"I was just..."

The girl bristled. "You were just what?"

Ben shrugged, at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say to her-what wouldn't upset her further. It was quiet between them as his eyes fell to the plates on the ground before her; he could see the sprinkled crumbs of his jelly doughnut and the unique smear he had left with his pinky on the edge of the plate that confirmed his suspicions. Beside it, Viktor's toffee glaze in pieces.

"...You want to come sit with us?"

- 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗗𝗔𝗬 -

Neither Y/n nor her boyfriend could believe the sight bustling around the kitchen before them; his younger body swimming in his oversized suit and tie as he hurriedly prepared for a quick meal. The hope of seeing Five Hargreeves in the flesh had died long ago, not unlike the couple at either end of the Hargreeves bunch, unseen by all but Number Four.

"Holy shit," Muttered Y/n, at Luther's side. "it's..."

"--it's really Five." Came the forlorn voice of Ben, standing at Viktor's as he looked at his brother in shock.

"What's the date?" The boy demands, pulling a loaf of white bread off the shelf and returning to the table. "The exact date?"

Viktor responded first. "The twenty-fourth,"

"Of what?"

"March,"

Ben and Y/n share an inquisitive glance at the thoughtful pause Five takes.

"...Good."

"So, are we gonna talk about what just happened?"

Y/n's eyes jump between Luther and Five. But the boy doesn't say anything, only laying out two slices of bread on the cutting board. She would have been more enthusiastic with Luther's point had he not risen from his seat and stepped right through her while making it.

"It's been seventeen years,"

"Ugh, dude," she winced under her breath, sidestepping the man and sending a warning glare to a smirking Ben.

"It's been a lot longer than that," seethed Five, blinking forward and reappearing at the counter.

"I haven't missed that," Luther grumbled.

"Where'd you go?" Diego's dark irises fixed on a spot on the floor.

"The future," Five grabbed more supplies off of a higher shelf and reappeared at the table. "It's shit by the way."

Klaus rose a hand in the air, his eyes darting between two specific spots in the room. "Called it!"

Ben gave a playful shrug to the one he loved and managed to pull another chuckle from her at his next words. "He did call it. I was there,"

"I should have listened to the old man," Five gave a yank on the refrigerator door and peered inside, and Y/n stepped yet again out of the way, leaning against the counter to the left. "Jumping through space is one thing, jumping through time is a toss of the dice,"

He looks up for the first time since making his sandwich to see Klaus perched cross-legged at the end of the dining table and gives an approving nod. "Nice dress,"

"Oh," he perks, giving one of the tassels a flattering twirl. "well, dänke,"

Still much too flabbergasted with the situation, Viktor can't help but blurt out, "Wait, how did you get back?"

"In the end, I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time." He answers simply.

Ben cocks a brow at Y/n from over Viktor's shoulder. "Did you catch any of that?"

Her winded expression saying otherwise, she gives a teasing shrug. "You didn't?"

"That makes no sense," Says Diego, the first of the living to respond.

Without looking up from his sandwich, Five retorts, "Well, it would if you were smarter."

Y/n suppresses an amused smirk as she brings her gaze up from the ground, watching the scene unfold from hidden underneath her brow.

Diego launches himself up from his seat, but Luther was already there to stop him with his arm thrown out. "How long were you there?" Luther asks.

"Forty-five years," Five says, biting the bullet. "Give or take."

That was enough to wipe the smirk off her face. Her worry quickly matches that of Ben's, neither of them realizing just how long it had been since Five was lost to them. Or more accurately, how long they were lost to Five.

The truth is heavy enough to pull Diego and Luther back into the seats where they sat gaping at Five, like the rest of the academy. Five knew this would happen. He might not have seen his siblings in several decades but he still knew them well enough they'd have a hard time with the truth.

"So what are you saying?" Luther asked. "That you're fifty-eight?"

"No," Five remarks, sending his brother a bitter smirk. "my consciousness is fifty-eight."

He stacks the second slice of bread onto the pile of marshmallows and peanut butter, completing his lunch as he stalked off a few paces. Unknowingly to him and most of his siblings, this brought him right next to his old friend. The woman in question was still propped up against the counter, now studying him sadly as he continued his monologue.

"Apparently, my body is now thirteen again,"

"Wait," said Viktor, still struggling to wrap his mind around what his brother was saying. "how does that even work?"

"Delores kept saying the equations were off," Five smiles fondly at the memory of his love and shrugs, silently conceding this victory to her. "Hm,"

Y/n looks at him with a sort of gentle empathy; a color the academy didn't see on her often. Ben suspected a thing or two. He wondered if she might not be reminded of her years before the academy. All those years alone, fending for herself.

Five turns to his family, stalking back over with a mouthful of his sandwich. "Bet she's laughing now," he finishes.

"Delores?" Viktor asked.

"Hmm," he hummed. Doing his best to remove the peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth, he picked up the newspaper on the table and brushed off his brother's question.

Their father's mortality was something all of them had a hard time believing, and yet the sight of an urn in the corner and the headline in black in white: CITY SAYS GOODBYE TO REGINALD HARGREEVES didn't seem to make it any more real. And yet, Five shrugged, chucking the article and the printed face of his father's scowl back on the table with little interest.

"Guess I missed the funeral,"

"How'd you know about that?" He asked.

Ben looked slowly from the newspaper Five had just discarded back to Luther, dumbfounded. "...Really?"

Five sent Luther a funny look. "What part of the future do you not understand?" Luther swallows a response. "Heart failure, huh?"

-"Yeah,"

-"No,"

Luther and Diego's hardened eyes snap to one another in a momentary glare, and the others fight an eye roll. A flat look befalls Five's face, his jaw twitching to the side; a telltale sign of his agitation.

"Nice to see nothing's changed," he remarks, stalking off exasperated.

"Uh," Allison scoffs, turning to call after her brother. "that's it? That's all you have to say?"

"What else is there to say?" Comes his voice, retreating into the stairwell. "The circle of life."

And just as he had left that evening all those years ago, Number Five disappeared leaving his siblings where they sat at the table in a daze.

Ben stares after the entryway to have swallowed his brother and contemplates if any of what he heard was real. Hell, was any of it?

"Well," Luther looks across the table at a gaping Viktor who tries to pull an expression out of their shell-shocked siblings. "that was interesting."

"Welp, I was wrong," Y/n begins, pulling the attention of the two men who can see her. She releases a heavy, contemplative sigh, her cheeks bloated with air. "Apparently, this family can still surprise me,"

•·················•·················•

Though all the clouds had gathered together in the sky, the day was still bright and oddly beautiful. It was peaceful; the rumble of the gathering storm in the sky as the first sprinkles of rain left the clouds.

Ben finally pulled his eyes away from the window, his eyes already tired of searching the frosted glass for any signs of gathering dews of pattering rain. He looks around the confines of his childhood bedroom-it wasn't the roomiest, but it wasn't the smallest either. Aside from tidying his mother had kept up over the years since his untimely death, it remained relatively untouched. Even his copy of Anton Chekov's The Bet sat on the third shelf, bookmarked and peeking over the edge where he had left it in a hurry.

Klaus was in his own room just down the stairs, no doubt killing time until the funeral, just like him. He chuckled to himself when his eyes landed on Y/n, lounging on his bed, back against the wall with her eyes traced on her hand. The natural s/c hue of her skin rippled into glimmering fish scales. Then feathers. Then fur, something that resembled what Ben thought to be some sort of lizard, and then more scales. Just like Y/n, too, he thought.

She could sense his attention on her, and without taking her eyes off of her morphing arm, she wondered aloud with as much boredom as he sensed she had.

"Do you think if I tried hard enough, I could give myself functioning chainsaw arms?"

A breath escaped his nose in a weak laugh. Despite the lack of body, dread had been building in his insides, making him damn near sick. But the unprompted and oh-so genuine curiosity she displayed was enough to soothe that. Even for a moment.

The small traces of his smile lingered, and his eyes, however far away, fell to the floor in thought.

"Do you remember when we met?"

The sound of her shifting powers stopped, and it was Y/n's turn to be caught off guard. She took the wistfulness of his demeanor as a good sign and pulled herself off the bed with her now-normal arms, bringing herself to rest at his side. "Depends. Is this a trick question?" she gently teased.

"Don't tell me you forgot already," his chuckle was weak as he gently nudged her with his elbow. She wobbled back from where her folded legs balanced on her toes, bouncing right back like an inflatable punching bag. She smiled at him and nudged him back. "Of course I remember," Y/n began, not quite sure what prompted this or how he was feeling on the matter. So she decided to test the waters. "I stole from you and your family, swindled my way into a free doughnut, and landed myself a spot in this sweet, sweet pad, free of charge. Clearly, my plan worked perfectly,"

"I'm serious," he says, his smile not quite reaching his eyes, and her urge to tease fades away.

Instead, she laced her fingers together over his knee, propping her chin on her hands as she looked up at Ben, forcing his eye. Her look was stern but he knew it came from good intentions. Over the years, he had realized he had been one of the lucky few who had access to this side of Y/n L/n.

"Tell me what's going on," he sighed at his partner's request. "...Is this about your dad?"

When he didn't answer immediately, she had gotten her answer.

"It's..." she failed to fight back a wince as she forced herself to say the words. Whether it was from her lack of instinct to comfort someone in such a manner or the fact it was Reginald Hargreeves she was talking about, she couldn't tell. "okay to feel sad. He might have been the asshole to end all assholes, but he was your dad." Barely, she thought, but she didn't dare say it aloud.

Ben scoffed at the floor at the thought, a sour look painting his face. "I'm not sad," he assured. But it sounded like he was assuring himself more than her. She still believed him. "I'm... Well, at least I don't think I am." Quickly he shook his head, dismissing whatever thought had come to mind before letting out a sigh. "I don't know. It's... complicated."

Without moving her hands or her head, Y/n softly rubbed her thumb reassuringly over the jeans on his knee in silent acknowledgment.

"If anything, I'm pissed," He didn't miss the small tilt of her head, urging him on-allowing him to vent. "I'm pissed I didn't get a final word in. A real final word. So many times I've wished I could tell him off for all the shit he put us through as kids. For all the trauma he gave us. For all those years he lead you on just so he could use your powers without having to give you 'special treatment'," her eyes fell away briefly in a daze, but she dared not linger on it long. She didn't want to give that man any more satisfaction than she could help. "And nothing will ever make me forget the guilt he placed on them for our deaths. Watching them mourn..."

Y/n felt a lurch in the deepest parts of her soul-one she was paranoid Ben himself could see like a glitch in her form. Like her boyfriend, the time after their untimely demise had scarred her far more than death itself. While Klaus could in fact see them, it was truly the worst form of torture witnessing the many broken sobs buried into pillows in the dead of night as the others cried out for them. Seeing Diego or Luther pushing themselves even harder in training until they broke down in a fit, and seeing Allison throwing herself into her power more and more to distract herself from the pain. Or poor Viktor, who had finally retreated into the furthest depths of isolation and disappeared within himself-without Ben, Five, or Y/n, he had given up on any attempt. All the while, the young and desperate souls had been at their side, all along, screaming for them to know they were there because Klaus was too busy escaping his own trauma.

Like the rest of the academy, they had somehow found a way to cope and get through the day. It was easier when they realized they had each other. And that's when their unspoken feelings finally came to light.

Part of them couldn't help but think the words, does he even deserve a funeral? Neither said those words aloud. But, Ben was the first to break the silence he had created.

"What if we see him?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if he... you know," he gestures between the two of them and enunciated the look of 'yikes' on his face.

Her eyes dart around the room in amusement before she finally picks her head off of her still folded hands. "What? Shows up at the wake like we did?"

He nods and Y/n can't help the guilt that comes with the escaped chuckle.

"My sweet Benny Boy, I seriously doubt that will happen," to his relief, the tone in her voice is as sure as he's ever heard her. Even despite the chuckle she breathes with it. "I'd bet my ass he's too busy in Hell bumping elbows with Jack the Ripper and the like,"

Ben's genuinely smiling again, that dread in his non-existent gut just a little bit lighter.

"Besides," she continued. "Klaus summoned us in the first place, remember? Wouldn't he have to do the same with your dad?"

Maybe, Ben thought, Y/n had a point. The memory of that moment was something he'd never forget. It was something he thought about often. Then why couldn't he completely shake this feeling of dread? Why did it feel like the worst was yet to come?

Sensing his worries, Y/n finally removes her grip from his knee and takes his hands in her own. He looks down at the love of his life, and she looks up at hers with a reassuring smile and the mischievous glint in her eye he fell in love with all those years ago.

"But, on the off chance he does," The smirk continuing to grow in her lips is dangerous, but it's also infectious. He can feel it spreading on his face and lifting his spirits as she continues. "we'd have the rest of our eternity to collectively bully him. There wouldn't be anything to stop us, either,"

Pride fills her chest when he fully grins, rising from his spot in the window seat and pulling her to her feet with him. Raising her palms to his lips, he plants a kiss on the back of her hands before pulling her in for a proper kiss. He smiles as she hums a content laugh before breaking apart.

Despite this, she still quirks a brow and rubs at his arms in a soothing manner after a glance at the time. "You sure you're ready?"

-𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞-

They had gone over it a million times.

Thanks again to their mother Grace, Saturday night had become Griddy's night. Otherwise known as their designated rendezvous night with their new friend Y/n. Nine o'clock on the dot, she'd be waiting in the back corner booth by the window where she had first found them all those weeks ago.

On this particular night, she was wracked with nerves. Ben could tell the difference off her jokes alone. They were stiff and fell flat, and her attention was often short-lived by her wondering daze to the sight of the city outside her window.

This was no surprise. Tonight was the night they snuck her in.

A confrontation with their father was to be expected-they depended on it. After all, he wasn't exactly a fool and they made a note to leave a little earlier this evening.

No doubt in their minds he'd be waiting at the foot of the staircase, hands folded in a scolding manner and a sympathetic Grace leashed at his side. They'd greet him by the door, heads bowed in shame as he scolded them with no more care than household staff before ordering them off to bed.

What he wouldn't know (hopefully) was that before crossing the threshold, a gracious Number Five would blink up to his room in silence, allowing Y/n to take his place. Of course, this meant her performance had to be better than perfect, and that was just counting her acting. It was of absolute necessity she got every detail-every freckle down to perfection lest she be found out.

She shuddered to know what the all-powerful billionaire would do if he caught her breaking in-taking the place of one of his children, no less. Even if it was for five minutes. But everyone at that table had made it abundantly clear their faith was well placed-that they wouldn't give up on her.

Her stomach full of pastries and f/b, Y/n looked around the table at her new group of friends, wondering to herself if this was still real. It had been exactly two months, precisely ten Saturdays since their meeting. Since the boy with a full stomach and a heart too big for his own good had discovered her in the back alley with his stolen food. And instead of fearing her for what she could do, or resenting her for what she had done, he took one look at her and invited her into his life simply cause it felt natural.

Y/n feared it was something she wouldn't be able to repay. Ben and his siblings assured her it wasn't as glamorous as it seemed, but she had a hard time believing them-though that wouldn't last long.

It wasn't until the others had assured her she was ready and filed for the door that she finally understood the feeling to have swept so suddenly over Ben all those weeks ago. Even still, Y/n numbly climbed to her feet alongside Ben as she pulled herself from the booth, allowing herself to think about what would come next.

Hopefully, if after by tomorrow they succeeded in fooling Reginald, they could come clean about the guest to have smuggled her way in under his very nose. Surely, that would prove to him the potential in her abilities and earn her a spot in their home.

"I'm sure it's going to be fine," Ben said, waiting for her at the edge of the booth. "We've been coaching you for weeks, and you're doing fantastic,"

The corners of her lips threatened to twitch up in a smile. Y/n always felt a little more comfortable with Ben. Maybe it was because he was the one to have found and accepted her, or maybe it was just because he was Ben.

She shrugged, making her way to the door in step with Ben. She didn't say anything when he absentmindedly held the door open for her, only sending him a nod as she shrugged.

"Doesn't make it easy,"

"Maybe not," he shrugged along, matching her steps as they made their way after the rest of the academy. "But like we've said, we got your back,"

Y/n can't find the words to match what she's feeling. There's too much swirling around in her chest and mind, clouding her thoughts completely. Fear of their plan, what would become of her if it failed, what it felt like to have someone looking out for her again.

She didn't even realize what she was doing until she met his eye amongst the peaceful silence, the two friends sharing a smile that warmed both their hearts. Quickly, her eyes returned to her feet and Y/n gave a half-hearted playful nudge.

"Okay, worst-case scenario," she begins, setting her eyes ahead at the others waiting at the corner, fighting over who got to hail a cab first. She can feel Ben's eyes occasionally venturing between her and the wet concrete. "He finds me out, loses his shit, and CCCLLKK--" she darts a finger across her throat. "--he kills me. What then?"

Ben almost felt bad at the laugh that shook his shoulders had it not been for the satisfied smile creeping along the natural features of her face at hearing the sound and knowing she was responsible.

"Tell you what, if our dad does kill you, I promise, I'll avenge you,"

It was Y/n's turn to laugh.

"And I'm betting I won't be the only one to get a few licks in," he continues, pleased with the sound of her chuckles. "Besides, Klaus can always just bring you back. Right, Klaus?"

"No way, he was looking at me-!" Klaus batted away Diego's wandering arm in his face before his attention was turned away to the approaching figures. "What? Uh, yeah sure. I totally heard what you asked me."

Ben looked back at his new friend as they came to a stop at the corner, the sounds of the halting taxi approaching behind him.

"See?" He all but laughed.

Her eyebrows shoot up in a sarcastic manner as she chuckles flatly. "Reassuring," she smiles. But Ben is almost sad to see how quickly it disappears as she watches the last of his siblings pack themselves into the taxi. Y/n drew in a sharp deep breath, not quite ready to let it go immediately. "Well, let's get this over with I guess."

What she wasn't expecting was Ben's sudden and sincere look to pierce her eyes.

"You sure you're ready?" He asks, just quiet enough for the two of them to hear. "It's okay if you need more time. But I'd feel bad making you wait another week," Between training and their father's rules, Saturdays had become the only nights they could get away without supervision.

Again, that feeling struck her right at her core. It was a familiar feeling she hadn't felt in a great long while; since she had last seen her mother. Since before she had been out on the streets. It was a certain warmth that came from knowing someone cared for her, and it was something she hadn't doubted Ben did since the third week.

And it was precisely why she knew tonight was the night. Well, aside from the hope of a warm bed and a proper meal of course.

With a definitive nod, she accepted the courage begging to build in her chest and accepted the challenge.

"I am."

-𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞-

That was well over seventeen years ago, and yet the memory burned as bright in his mind as the events of just half an hour ago. Y/n had trusted him to be there for her, and he needed to trust her the same way.

And with a definitive nod, the courage he accepted begging to build in his chest and accepted the challenge.

"I am."

Delighted to see him smiling again, she watches as he takes a few steps forward and bends his knees, and extends his arms. She has half a mind to ask what in the hell he's doing before it clicks, remembering the favor he had swore to return earlier that morning and Y/n happily obliges. With a giddy chuckle, she jumps on his back, latching her arms around his neck as his arms hook under her thighs.

A pleased smile paints her lips at not having to journey all those steps down to the courtyard. Something Ben already senses. Before he can protest, she plants a quick kiss on his neck before nestling her chin into rest.

"You know," she begins, in that same mischievous tone as he brings them out and down the hall. "If things go south, we could always bail and go rooting through the old man's stuff if you want?"

Ben paused just long enough to look up and over his shoulder. "I love you,"

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

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