#also i fucking hate writing and that's fucking all that phd students (and people with phds) fucking have to do

[ban-joey]

my seminar class yesterday was a panel discussion that was so deeply heartfelt and activism-focused that it made me cry on camera to the point that the panelists invited me to their committee meeting so like. cool that being really emotional about trying to solve public health inequities has immediately made me some really really cool new friends. also what the fuck is happening

[sutorus]

THE GRUDGE PROFESSOR!GETO for KINKTOBER 2023!

DESCRIPTION: everybody loves professor geto, and judging by the thousands of viewers you get on every live, a lot of people love you, too. but you and professor geto hate each other. you’ve had enough of his humiliation rituals, and decide to do something about it.

PAIRING: mean professor!geto x student!reader

WC: 5.3k i am an unstoppable beast

WARNINGS: 18+ MINORS DNI. fem reader, afab reader, teacher/student dynamic! adult age gap! (reader is in college, unspecified age), sw/camgirl!reader (don’t like don’t read! no shaming 😤), strong language, dirty talk, pet names (sweetheart, baby, angel, darling), reader calling geto "sir", unprotected relations, creampie, afab reader and terms

A/N: this switches between povs a lot so i hope that’s okay or at least readable lol! also i set out to write him so much meaner but he’s just kind of a simp... enjoy?

reblogs are very much appreciated i'll uwu for u :pleading eyes emoji:

it is said that those who cannot do, teach. 

geto suguru could have done many things. he had the brains, the muscles, the features, the traits. the ambition to succeed in any field he desired. satoru says in a world ruled by the strong there is no place for humility. 

but humility is not why suguru became a teacher. neither is ineptitude. no, he’d become a teacher because it was the right thing to do. 

to use his gifts to help shape new generations, help unlock potentials long dorment and buried deep under years of a lackluster schooling system. geto suguru prided himself, above all, in being a righteous man. 

but japan’s most upstanding citizen for 28 years in a row held a shameful secret. a secret in the shape of you. 

he saw the darkest sides of himself on your face (eyebrows scrunched, eyes shut tightly, jaw slack as you—), your voice (higher in pitch with desperate moans that sound almost scared on the brink of your—), your body (taut and plump in all the right places, glistening with sweat, bouncing up and down on a—). 

when you walked into his classroom that fateful day, the world tilted on its axis. his first thought was, fuck, then, it can’t be, then, most embarrassing of all, i’ll finally find out what she smells like. 

(he did, when you went up to his desk to hand over your test. a whiff of vanilla, argon oil shampoo. too sweet, too youthful. and he’d watched you leave, tennis skirt flowing like a water lily, dick already chubby in his pants.)

it was slowly starting to consume him.

the first time you spoke in class, he knew he hadn’t been mistaken. it was really you. the cute, slutty girl he’d been milking his cock to for the better part of a year. 

god, when you finally said his name. you would never in your wildest dreams think that he’d been imagining those words coming out of your mouth, of him coming out of your mouth, dripping out of you, all over you—

he was losing it. this was not like him. this was never supposed to happen, and he has to put an end to it. 

everybody knew of geto suguru, the prodigy professor. already getting a phd despite not even being 30, handling the administrative slack for the department while managing office hours every day of the week, promoting student events, helping organize spirit weeks and charity drives. 

everything he did, he did for others. those not as capable as him — which was most people. in other words, it was really, really hard to hate him. 

but you damn well managed to. 

and to think you were excited to take his class. everybody told you to run, not walk, to sign up for his twentieth-century Japanese philosophy chair. 

“oh, professor geto is just the best,” they’d said. “he makes it sound so interesting and engaging, he gives the most life changing assignments, he really cares about us.”

bullshit. 

the first time you stepped into that classroom, suspiciously full for a philosophy class, you felt a shift in the air almost immediately. 

and sure enough, professor geto suguru was eyeing you down like he’d just seen a ghost. it made you self conscious, like he’d taken one look at you and decided right then and there you were too dumb for the class. 

it made your blood boil. sure, you stood out a little bit from the actual philosophy majors, but that doesn’t mean he gets to judge you. he literally doesn’t know you!

but fine, first impressions are tricky like that. for all you knew, you could’ve been misjudging him right there. 

however, with each passing day, you grew more and more assured in your suspicions.

you knew the man had it out for you, always calling on you to answer when he knew you weren’t paying attention, never grading your papers above a B even though you did everything right, somehow managing to fucking avoid you during his excessive office hours. 

his looks were almost the most infuriating part of it.

his beautiful face constantly set in that nonchalant look, his big veiny hands always gesticulating, his huge fucking arms straining the fabric of those dress shirts, his ear gauges and man bun contrasting the prim and proper image the rest of him conveyed. 

under different circumstances, he’d make your mouth water. under different circumstances, you’d imagine him going down on you all night long, singing praise about how good you taste and how tight you are. 

but in this timeline, you absolutely loathed him. and he loathed you too. why? you didn’t know. 

but you knew for a fact that it was personal. 

“i don’t care,” megumi said around a mouthful of meatball, cutting your monologue short. “i’m not doing it.”

you sigh, melting into your chair. “megumi. please. i am literally begging you, i just need some hard evidence so i can go report his ass.”

he eyes you curiously. “report him for what?”

“i don’t know. bullying? sexism? whatever the hell his problem is,” you pick at your food, huffing in annoyance. 

“you’re overthinking it,” megumi replies, dismissively. 

“okay, how about this,” you lean forward, putting an elbow on the table. “if you write the assignment for me, i’ll get your dog that expensive halloween costume you’ve been wanting.”

megumi lifts an eyebrow. 

“you need to get one for each,” he says simply. 

you grin. “deal.”

suguru really does give it his all to make your life with him a living hell. pulls out all the stops, years of friendship with gojo satoru paying off as he comes up with ploy after ploy to get you to drop his class. 

it feels bad, being mean to you. but for the hidden, twisted parts of him, it feels delicious. 

watching you huff and puff, all hot and bothered when he corrects your answers on the spot. watching you nibble on your pen at the increasingly difficult exams he hands out. letting himself wonder if you missed a stream this week because you were too busy cramming for a make up test. 

he knows he’s pushing you to your limit, and even if there’s some sort of sick satisfaction in seeing you so agitated at his hands when it’s usually the other way around, he doesn’t enjoy upsetting you. 

the problem is, suguru knows it’s either he gets his shit together or he continues tormenting you, and, well. 

the spirit is willing but the flesh is so, so weak. 

he knows it’s getting worse, too, because he’s not infatuated by you only when you’re undressing on his screen, or all dolled up in class. 

when you tie your hair up in a ponytail, when you suck on a hangnail, when you lick your thumb to erase a smudge on your paper… all of it drives him wild. 

he can’t teach with a permanent half chub anymore. this has to end, one way or another. 

you sit down in front of your computer, adjusting the camera before turning it on. soon, viewers start trickling in, little dings notifying you of their messages. 

you smile, waving at the screen. 

“hi everyone! i know i’m a little bit late today, i hope you can forgive me…” your eyes scan the chat, giggling at the compliments. “‘you look tired, sad face’, ah. i’m sorry. i guess i’ve been a little stressed lately.”

your robe falls over your shoulder as you readjust your position. a few donations come in, accompanied by supportive messages.

“you guys are so nice. it’s not a big deal, it’s just this dude giving me a hard time at college.” 

you absentmindedly trace your collarbones, reading what your viewers are saying. 

“you’ll kill him for me? that’s so sweet,” you joke. “nah, it’s not a student. it’s a professor. exactly, ynlover444, a grown ass man picking on me!”

you sigh deeply, allowing your body to finally unwind and relax on your chair. you prop a knee up against the armrest, giving your viewers a little peek in between your legs. you’re wearing one of your favorite sets, trying to get in the mood after the week you’ve had. 

“ugh, sometimes i wish i could just…” you suck in a breath, clenching your hand into a fist before releasing it. “sit on his face and get him to shut up, you know?”

you laugh at the countless me firsts that flood the chat, bringing a finger to your lip. 

“anyway! enough about that horrible man,” you reach beside you to grab a box your viewers know all too well by now. “let’s get to the fun stuff, shall we?”

as always, satoru is no help. 

“why don’t you just fuck her?” he asks, eyebrows arching above his sunglasses. “ya gotta just fuck her.”

suguru clears his throat before taking a drag of his cigarette. “i’m not fucking a student.”

satoru shrugs. “everybody does it. besides, you basically already do.” 

suguru wonders, not for the first time, why he ever told his friend about his situation. about your streams, that he’d stumbled upon randomly and innocently and had gotten instantly hooked, about you barging into his classroom like an angel at hell’s gates, about you you you you, everything about you. 

“that won’t fix anything.”

satoru clicks his tongue, swirling his soda inside the can.

“poor, naive suguru. did you not just tell me about what she said on her stream?" and yes, regrettably, suguru had told him. "it’ll fix everything.”

suguru doesn’t even let himself consider it, except he does.

at this point it’s no secret that he’s thought about being inside you, but now that you’re here it’s just too real and too risky and completely fucking wrong. 

it goes against the entire life he’s built for himself. 

he’s lost. he wants you so fucking bad, wants you close, wants you so far away, wants to ravage you and never have to see you again. 

it’s fight or flight. if he got you alone, it could go either way, he realizes that. 

suguru wonders what part of him will win by the end of all of this. 

your heels clack on the linoleum floor of the hallway as you approach professor geto’s classroom, megumi’s graded paper clutched tightly against your chest. 

the thing about megumi is that he's a star student. he’s never gotten anything below an A on any of his essays, makes the dean’s list every year, tutors his seniors. so the big, bright B- on the page tells you everything you need to know. 

damn right it’s personal. 

you don’t even bother knocking, slamming the door open while still trying to contain your indignation. 

geto is sitting at his desk, piles of papers sprawled on top. he has his white dress shirt rolled up to his elbows and a surprised look on his face that would be cute if you didn’t want to slap it right off. 

he says your last name like he’d been expecting you all his life.

“to what do i owe the pleasure?”

your jaw clenches as you take a few loud steps towards him. you slam megumi’s paper down on his desk, leaning over. 

“professor geto, i demand an explanation. a real one, this time.”

the man takes a deep breath, lips twisting disapprovingly. he smoothes the paper over.

“as i already explained in my notes right here, the structure is fine, but i couldn’t help but miss a more in-depth analysis of the four nodal concerns of philosophy that we talked about in class, such as—“

“no,” you interrupt. “just no. you know you’re bullshitting me and i’m sick of it. this paper deserved an A!”

“miss—“

“what’s your problem with me?” you spit out. your eyes finally meet and there’s nothing in geto’s that could answer your question. your chest is heaving, lips wobbling and hands shaking, trying to contain your anger. 

geto clears his throat, visibly uncomfortable. “like i said, your paper could’ve used a bit more—“

“no it fucking couldn’t have, because it’s not my fucking paper, it’s fushiguro’s fucking paper and the only reason you gave it a B is because i was the one who handed it in!”

he sits up, straightening his posture.

geto sounds austere when he asks, “do you realize how much trouble this could be for both of you if i reported it?”

you can’t believe this man. he’s been picking on you the entire semester and when you finally confront him about it this is what he chooses to focus on. 

“are you fucking kidding me?” that earns you a stern look from him, eyebrow raising taller than that fucking high horse he sits on. “professor geto. what did i ever do to you?”

there must be something earnest in your voice because geto sighs, getting up from his chair. 

he walks until he’s standing in front of you, leaning against his desk and crossing his feet. 

“do i bother you?” is all he says. it surprises you. 

you jut your chin out. “as a matter of fact, you do.”

the man hums. 

“i bet that’s really difficult for you,” he speaks like he’s sympathetic, like he understands. he sounds almost sheepish when he says, “i bet sometimes you wish i would just shut up.”

you blink rapidly. “no, it’s not like that. it might shock you but i genuinely do enjoy your class, it’s just that—“

“or maybe you wish you could shut me up,” he continues, ignoring you. “maybe going as far as to say that you could… sit on my face to get me to shut up.” 

your mouth goes dry.

before your brain can fully process the shift in the atmosphere or the fact that your professor is maybe possibly hitting on you, you realize where those words are coming from. 

it’s what you said. about him. on stream. right before fucking yourself on your hot pink dildo. 

you can’t speak, can barely even look in his general direction. 

you had really thought things couldn’t get any worse. had barged into his office with nothing to lose, almost hoping he would cordially invite you to remove yourself from his class permanently. 

but now? now you have no idea what’s going to happen to you. 

“i…” you start, the words dying in your throat. geto chuckles, crossing his fat fucking muscly arms across his chest. 

he says your name, low and syrupy. “is it true? you’d like to?”

you can feel your face flush hot in embarrassment, and you shift your weight from one foot to the other, wishing desperately that you’d never walked into his classroom. 

you have half the mind to apologize to him, right now.

“it’s just a figure of speech,” you try. geto clicks his tongue. 

“what a shame.”

your wide eyes shoot up and meet his. “w-what?”

he smiles sweetly. 

“it’s a peace offering. you can take it, or we can forget you ever said anything,” and isn’t he just so slimey, actually, when he’s the one who brought it up. he had said it, and now… 

now you can finally allow yourself to look at him.

those delicious, broad shoulders, the ever-present bored look, the stubborn fringe that falls out of his bun. 

you could so easily forget what you came here for. 

“so, like, a truce?” you ask, taking a daring step forward. geto nods, uncrossing his arms. “and you stop treating me like i’m fucking dumb?”

he tilts his head. “i think you’re a very smart young lady. determined. entrepreneurial…”

“geto—“

“professor geto,” he corrects you, hands reaching out to graze your hips. “you’re intelligent. i just like to push my students.”

you both know that’s a lie, but it’s okay, because now you know exactly why you got under his skin and it makes your own burn. 

you run a hand down the line of buttons on the front of his shirt, looking up at him through your eyelashes. 

“then… push me, professor.”

it’s so incredibly lame, the porn line you hit him with, but to your surprise it works, a low groan rumbling deep in geto’s chest. 

he swiftly closes the distance between the two of you, grabbing both sides of your face and crashing your lips together. 

it’s ravenous, the way geto dips his tongue inside when you gasp in surprise. you moan against his mouth, slipping a leg in between his two. 

he’s half hard already when he rubs up against your thigh. 

geto picks you up with ease and sets you down on his desk, and it’s so fucking cliché, the papers crinkling under your weight, the pens clattering to the floor. but it turns you on beyond belief. 

you share a few open mouthed kisses, an exchange of tongue and moans and hot breaths between your lips. 

if you were honest with yourself, you'd admit that you've fantasized about it before. a silly idea, at first, something you'd just blurted out mid-stream.

but that little seed had been planted, and when you got yourself off that night, you might've imagined for a moment that it was your mean professor's cock squeezed tight inside you, making you come undone.

geto slips his hands under your skirt, grabbing your ass and pulling you closer to him. you line up your crotch with his, moving your hips in tight little circles that make the both of you groan. 

his fingers are tugging your underwear down, down, the soft patch sticking to your gooey cunt. he lets the soaked fabric dangle from your ankle, grazing the back of his knuckles on your core. 

“mmm, fuck,” geto breaks the kiss, swallowing. his pretty lips are flushed and shiny, parted around his panted breaths. “you always get this wet or am i special?”

he’s smirking, the bastard, leaning back in to kiss your neck.

god, you smell so good, like lotion and perfume and sunshine and sin. 

“shouldn’t you know?” you sneak your fingers up into his bun, pushing your chest against him. he works his lips expertly on your skin, using just the right amount of teeth, of pressure.

geto hums against your neck, kissing a line up to your jaw. he snakes a hand under your skirt, thumb pressing down hard to rub on your clit, two fingers slipping inside. 

you immediately clench, a soft, drawn out mewl leaving your lips. 

the slide of his fingers against your walls send a chill down your spine, filling you up so perfectly. you feel the thin skin at your opening stretch around him, burning at the friction as his fingers plunge in and out of you. 

“god, look at that,” he rests his forehead on your shoulder and pulls the hem of your skirt up. “do you hear that, baby? so fucking wet for me.”

you whine, hands cupping his jaw so you can kiss him again. 

“please…” you mumble against his lips. “more…”

you wonder how much of what you can say he's heard before, which exact words have left your lips and sent him over the edge. it makes you self conscious, oddly, like he can see right through you.

not-so-kindly ignoring your request, geto removes his fingers, bringing them up to his mouth.

you watch as his eyelids flutter in pleasure, a hum rumbling low in his throat. 

he looks so good like this, just edible.

you pull him in for a kiss before he can, relishing in the surprised little noise he lets out. your knees are wobbling, feet dangling from your seat as you taste yourself on his tongue. 

he swallows your moan hungrily, forearms trembling with the need to hold back.

geto knows this is wrong, so wrong on so many levels, puts both your positions in jeopardy, it makes him feel perverted and primal and so fucking alive. 

he’s been watching you fuck yourself on those silly toys for god knows how long now, knows every spot that makes your hips buck, knows exactly how to make you cream like a debased slut around a cock. 

it should feel unfair, how easy it’s going to be for him to make you cum, only if it weren’t for the fact that your mere presence is enough to get him hard as fucking diamonds. 

“tastes good, huh?” he whispers, thumb caressing your chin. you nod, smiling devilishly. 

“tastes better on your tongue, prof.” 

geto groans low like a starved animal, holding your throat in his hand with a loose grip. he’s overwhelmed, that much shows, not knowing what to do with you or where to start. but there’s one thing he’s sure of. 

he presses one last kiss to your spit-slick lips before dropping to his knees. 

you can hardly believe it. sulky, big bad bully professor geto suguru on his knees for you. you prop a foot up on his desk, your sole skidding on a piece of paper. 

“scoot closer, please,” he asks, cordial even like this. you bring your ass to the edge of the desk, your dripping pussy hovering over his face. 

he looks so good under you, hair already disheveled, a delicious tent in his tailored pants. 

you tuck the hem of your skirt into the waistline so you can watch as he sucks your clit into his mouth, moaning like he’s fucking relieved. 

you throw your head back, fingers buried in his silky hair as geto’s fingers find their way back inside. 

he fucks them in and out of you lazily, pushing out strings of slick. geto slurps it all up, spreading your wetness all over your clit and sucking it back in his mouth. 

god, his cock is straining in his pants but he doesn’t dare touch it, can’t until he’s inside you. you taste like fucking heaven, like all his fantasies, like he always knew you would. 

you’re whining softly, bucking your hips into his face almost shyly, as to disrupt his pace.

you sound so much better in person, although he can’t wait to have you moaning into his ear without needing the headphones. 

“god, this perfect pussy,” geto mumbles into you, his breathing labored. he runs a thumb all over your cunt, gliding it over your soaked lips. “been dreaming about it for so long.”

“yeah?” you ask. “tell me. tell me how you stroke your cock to me every night.”

and every night might be overselling it. geto is a busy man. 

but your words do make him realize that no girl he’s had since he found your stream has satisfied him quite like you do. your flirty smile, your moans, the way they sometimes turn into uncontained giggles as you stuff your pretty cunt with a dildo. 

so he tells you, blush spreading across his cheeks. 

“fuck, i do,” he tongues your clit, tracing lazy circles. “i do. just look what you do to me.“

and there it is, that cheeky, slutty giggle, directed at something he said this time. 

he takes his fingers out, spreading your opening with both thumbs as he licks you all over. 

geto gulps, tongue dipping inside of you, sucking your clit into his mouth, sliding down to your entrance, every clench of your pussy pushing out more and more slick for him. no one's ever eaten you out as thoroughly as this.

“oh, fuck, sir,” it slips out casually, the way it would were you talking to any other professor. but given the circumstances, you revel in the deep moan geto buries into your cunt. 

you trap your lips between your teeth to keep anything else from tumbling out, but it’s useless.

“please, sir, i’m so close—so close just keep doing that, yeah just like that—“

“fuck,” he mumbles, pulling away to suck in a desperate breath. then, “fuck,” sultrier, right into your core. 

you grind against his face, finding purchase in his hair as a final few flicks of his tongue push you right into the crest of a mind-numbing orgasm.

it’s so good, so much better than when you're alone. the friction so perfect, his long, thick fingers plugging you up last minute to viciously fuck into you. 

“god…,” you breathe out, legs trembling as he runs his hands up your thighs. 

his chin is glistening, bubbles of spit and cum gathering in the corner of his mouth. he looks so good like this, like he was meant to please you and nothing else. 

geto feels like a fucking teenager, so goddamn close to busting in his pants at the sight of you. his dick hurts, balls tight and the head throbbing where it’s tucked into his underwear. 

“please, sweetheart,” he can’t hold himself back any longer, slick fingers already undoing his belt. 

you get to work on his zipper, pulling his pants down along with his underwear and damn. 

you figured he was big. he was a tall man, broad shoulders, shoes the size of a yacht, and the bulge in his trousers was a pretty good indication. but it couldn’t have prepared you for the sheer size of him. 

longer than it is thick, cleanly shaven, pretty veins and ridges and standing angry red in attention. god, you want it inside you. 

he notices you looking. 

“do you need more prep? i can—“

“no, fuck no, suguru, need it inside me now,” you wrap a hand around him and he hisses, caging you in with his arms on the desk. 

he huffs out a laugh, blowing the fringe framing his face. “what happened to sir?”

you kiss down his jaw, squeezing right below his tip. 

“sorry, sir,” you say against his ear. “are you going to punish me for my slip up?”

geto groans, pulling on your hair hard and making you face him. 

“take your shirt off for me,” he instructs, and you obey, maneuvering around his tight grip on the back of your head. 

his spirit is so unbreakable.

here you are, teasing him, coaxing him to rough you up, push you around, relieve both your frustrations properly once and for all, but he’s just so… adoring, and hungry, and just so irrevocably into you, and you find out that’s so much better. 

geto relents his hold on you to unclasp your bra, cupping your breasts and sucking a nipple into his mouth. you whine, caressing his hair. 

“so fucking perfect,” he massages your tits, looking mesmerized. 

“yeah? they haven’t gotten old to you yet?”

he laughs, so cute, and you can barely remember that just hours ago you hated the sight of him. you stroke his cock up and down, squeezing harder at the tip trying to milk all that delicious pre he’s been wasting on the inside of his boxers. 

“no, f-fuck—never gonna get old,” he pushes your boobs against each other, imagining his cock sliding in between them, his balls nestled underneath, his load blown all over your pretty face—

fuck, he’s gonna cum if he keeps going like this. 

he rips your hand away from him, ignoring your knowing smirk and pushing his tongue into your mouth. 

“i’m gonna fuck you now, okay, sweetheart?” you moan, nodding, shimmying your hips so he can have the perfect angle. 

a big hand clasps your thigh to wrap your leg around his hips as his tip pokes around your entrance.

you’re whining in anticipation, clenching around nothing, nails clawing his clothed back. 

when he slips in, it feels like coming home. you’re like warm honey around him, cunt pushing him out but clinging to him at the same time, with every stroke. it’s fucking maddening. 

“ahh, g-god, sir, ‘s too big—“ you swallow around the lump in your throat, feeling the tip of his cock in your guts. 

he’s huffing, concentrated, bullying his cock into you inch by inch with shallow thrusts until he finally bottoms out. 

“fuuuuck, angel,” he grips your waist with both hands, like he could just fuck you up and down his length if he wanted to. “took me so well, look at that.”

you do, dropping your heavy head to look at where you’re connected. you clench around him and he whines, pulling out almost all the way before slamming back in. 

the metal legs of the desk skid on the floor, papers and pens raining down to the floor as geto starts roughly plunging in and out of you. 

you let out little ah, ah, ahs in time with his strokes, the ache deep in your stomach finally starting to fade. 

“f-fuck, you’re gonna—topple us over, suguru, go easy—“

“can’t,” he chokes out, wheezing as he pushes his cock in as far as it can go. 

he gives shallow little thrusts, his length straining the fine skin at your entrance so good, hitting a spot inside you over and over that makes your head spin. 

your fingers twist into the back of his shirt, pulling him in to whine right into his ear.

he’s so big, stretching you out so thin that you feel every ridge and vein, can feel both your heartbeats inside your cunt. 

“ohhhhh fuck, fuck sir, please please touch me—“

he grabs your ass before you can even finish your sentence and presses you flush against his hips. 

geto’s tip is kissing your cervix now, his balls sticky and creamy against your ass, your clit grinding against his pubic bone as his thrusts violently shake the both of you. 

“fuck, wanna do it so fucking loud but i can’t, we can’t, what if someone walks in—“

you moan wantonly at his words, expecting to be chided, but geto seems to love it despite his worries because his cock kicks deliciously inside of you.

“look how loud you’re being, listen to yourself,” he grunts out, the belt pooled around his feet clanging with every stroke, the absolutely lewd squelches from your pussy resonating in the entire classroom. 

you two sound so good together, better than you’ve ever had, better than he could’ve ever imagined. 

“so loud, so wet on this cock,” he spits out, sweaty strands of hair sticking to his forehead. “do those toys make you feel this good? this full? answer me.” 

“hahh, n-no, no one but you,” you can’t think straight, head thrown back in pleasure and eyes squeezed shut. “only you, sir.”

geto whines like he’s aching, pounding into you mercilessly and making a mess under the two of you. 

“fuck yeah, that’s right. i’m making you feel good, baby?”

“mm-hm,” you mumble, tongue lolling out. geto's going so hard now, has you pressed up so tight against him, body caging you in, fucking every breath and thought right out of you. “close.”

“yeah?” he speeds up his effort slightly, and you’re sure he’s going to have desk-edge shaped bruises on his thighs tomorrow. “gonna cum on my cock? cream all over me?”

you let out a long, drawn out whine, tits bouncing up and down with the force of geto’s thrusts. 

“let me see your face when you cum, darling,” he cups the back of your neck, breathing hard through his nose. “keep your eyes on me. that’s right, sweetie, so good, you’re doing so good.”

you preen at the praise, feeling suddenly self conscious with the man's laser focus attention on you. 

you coo out little noises, growing in desperation, holding onto his biceps for dear life as his hips piston in and out of you. 

your pull him into you closer and rub your clit against him, grinding helplessly as your orgasm creeps closer and closer. 

the moment you open your eyes and meet his hungry ones, you’re cumming. your walls spasm around him, making the glide of his dick impossibly wetter with your release. 

geto chokes on a sound, his cock hostage of your pussy’s vice-like grip as your greedy cunt milks him for all he's got. 

“f-fuck, baby, look so pretty when you cum, always look so fucking sexy so fucking perfect that you’re gonna make me bust, i’m gonna cum for you god gonna cum inside, gonna blow my load all deep inside this pussy—“ 

it’s the most desperate he’s ever sounded, speaking through clenched teeth and a soaked mouth. you moan in return, letting him use you. 

he slams his forehead down your shoulder when he thrusts once, twice, three times and cums, his balls drawing up so tight that it hurts. he fucks it into you with shallow thrusts, panting, almost wheezing in pleasure. 

it feels like it lasts forever, his orgasm. like all of the blood in his body goes straight to his balls to push out the thickest, most satisfying nut of his life into the prettiest girl he's ever seen.

you feel it fill you up so good, hear it, too, squelching and sticking to both of you. 

geto’s body slumps against yours and you stay like that for a while, catching your breaths. there’s cum sliding out of you, down his balls, onto some poor student’s essay you have your ass on top of. 

when he pulls out of you, he takes a beat to watch it spill out of you some more, his face and chest red, his smile groggy. 

“god, this,” geto has to fight the urge to say thank you for letting him fuck your brains out. he swallows. 

“yeah,” you blink away the haze, feeling sore and fucked out. “this.”

“…is probably going to happen again, right?”

he knows it shouldn’t. he knows it will.

maybe both parts of geto can learn to coexist.  

you grin, touching the tip of your tongue to his lips. 

“well, i still haven’t made good on that promise of sitting on your face, have i?” 

the next morning, in class, the students erupt in happiness at the news that professor geto had an accident that ended up ruining most of last week’s graded papers he had in his possession. 

so he decided to give everyone an A for their troubles. 

and finally, finally, there was peace in the world.

[lehnsherrrr]

Let’s talk about the writing of Charles Xavier.

Okay, so we all hate the way everyone turned on Charles in DP, right? But it’s not based on nothing, you gotta hear me out rn.

Charles means well, and does mostly well, but he’s still an idiot, he’s still a man.

Yes he does so much good work for the school and for mutants, he lost everything over and over again, but he isn’t perfect.

No one is perfect, and I think the writing and James mcavoys acting manages to make such a human portrayal this way.

Hes not the golden boy, he’s not the shining hero, he has many sides just like a real person.

Of course he’s mostly wonderful, his deepest desire is to enact peace. As child he took in Raven without a second thought, a time in our development when we tend to be less empathetic. You’ve seen the way he cares for Erik and the others, he absolutely means it.

But it’s those little imperfections that make him such a beautiful character.

He’s can be cocky, certainly when he had just gotten his PhD, I now this brat was the top of his class and smug about it.

He’s also allowed to be selfish, he wants Raven, he wants Erik, he wants things desperately.

And sometimes he may have made mistakes when blinded by his ambitions.

Accidentally outing Hank? Kinda shit. Using his powers to make that guy get in the car? Unnecessary.

But he’s allowed to be this way, the writing allows it, and James Mcavoy portrays it perfectly.

This is how you write a character.

He isn’t always that shining beacon of hope, especially in dofp.

Anyone could’ve taken Charles character of “Leader of the xmen, strives for world peace” and made him an absolute angel all of the time. But people don’t work like that.

Charles Xavier gives me the vibe of someone who was an absolute menace during educational years, maybe even a dickhead.

I can see him saying some pretty idiotic shit to people that maybe he was trying to flirt with, maybe even making people feel bad about themselves.

Bro might have even been a bully in the perspective of some; this dashing clever guy who always knows what you’re thinking.

Now I don’t think he was actually a bully, he is a whole nerd after all, but maybe to those even nerdier than him.

Can you imagine another, nerdier, student being like “I fucking hate Charles Xavier and his stupid fucking smug face, why does he have to be top of the class, I hate him.”

And Charles not giving a rats ass about that person.

And now he’s grown, right from the day of getting his PhD, when he met Moira, he began to properly grow.

He’s always been kind at heart, even if his confidence had come across as arrogance. He’d never actually want to cause anyone upset, but it happens, and there are times where he could’ve helped that.

He tries so hard now, every stage of Charles life I expect he looks back on his past self with embarrassment. “God I was an idiot why did I do that, I’m far superior now.”

Charles is probably the most thoroughly human character in the entire franchise, and it rubs off on those around him. Even if none of them are actually human, and I think maybe that’s the point?

That’s the point of the movie. Look at how human the mutants are, and how human the humans aren’t. Of course Charles sees past that, whether he believes it or not, he wants everyone to be equal.

I’m sure you already knew all of this, but people really like it when I yap about the old gay men, so here <3

[morehousebites]

Quotes as House MD

Random shit my friends have said as House MD

for contex, I'm in training to get my Medical Assistant certification and most of my friends are also in/going into the medical field

House:

My mysteries are falling out

Can't a mortal want for death?

That's assault. Don't make me elevate it to battery

No no, don't be embarrassed, you all did bad

I'm going to Hell AND I have to pay with quarters? This is the worst day ever!

It's only like the fourth gayest sport. Behind football, chess, and competitive pole dancing

Either kill yourself or get over it

Don't touch these without gloves, they will irritate your tits

Well y'know, some people come out of the closet, [Chase] goes into the closet

I only let my [fellows] teethe on them occasionally. They're mostly slobber-free

Am I not writing right now? With my words? Like a poet?

You're a sick degenerate fuck! I like you

OSHA is for pussies

I can hurt you and then it will have to be my fault

I'm American I'm entitled to piss where I want

Happy erection day. Your penis hard?

I LOVE bullying children

Sorry ladies, this cock is all mine

It's not abuse if they're living. That's why you kill them first

Chase:

Being lesbian is masochist (referring to Thirteen)

As the youth are fond of saying these days: dope, sick nasty.

I'm a cunt not a whore

He's fat, he needs a vasectomy

She's 14, her uterus is gonna wither up

My dad has a PhD in Jesus

I don't even have a thought process

Ow, don't hit me, you're ugly

The part I'm confused on.... Is all of it?

Victim blaming, it's the right thing to do

Ketchup is such a good moisturizer

Aw man that sucked ass, I guess I'll just die hairy

No sin here, move along

Cameron:

I'm not a lesbian, stay away from me

Numbers, organs, same thing. What am I, a doctor? A medical student?

Not gonna lie I kinda like heroin

Them's the house rules, and I'm the coolest bitch

Wow she's pretty! Oh she's dying

Do you not want to smoke weed on the bus to the hospital?

Not even in a sexual way just vulvas are dope

Shawty is a state of mind

Honey no one wants your organs

Alright I'm gonna go finish my work and disappoint [House]

They can't know I'm a freak YET

Supportive parents? In this economy?

I can't cry cause the makeup's too slay

Whoever said laughter is the best medicine was a man

Gravity is a bitch sometimes

Pleasure myself, weep, and repeat

If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me that, I could actually afford therapy

This is pirated, by the way

I've got my own knives: they're called fingers and I swear to god if he talks to me again they are going in his eyes

Foreman:

I'm no one's babygirl, I'm someone's baby MAN

I can ethically own him in the free market space of debate

You think you have rights here? This is [the hospital]

You're taking a speed bump at 5 miles an hour, I'm gonna actually enjoy my life

There is no opinions on the gays

You spilled spaghetti on the church?! (directed at Chase)

That's not a hehe moment

Do any of you... Hear in the ears?

Infidelity ain't lookin so good right now

I'd be full of shit if I told you I knew the answer all the time

I sympathize with you but you're making funny noises

THE DOOR WAS UNLOCKED THE WHOLE TIME AND I SLITHERED THROUGH THE WINDOW?!

Don't antagonize drunk old men who hate you

[jean-dieu]

Bonjour.

FINALLY, I am doing a pinned post!

Get to know me, the Man, the Legend.

I'm JEAN-DIEU, or Jean. 24 years old, Fr*nch, any pronouns. I'm a PhD student in AI and vaguely an artist sometimes. I love to create blorbos to obsess with.

I'm into a bunch of stuff you can learn more about just below! If you want to chat with me, feel free to send a DM, I'm always up to meet new people!

My stuff :

#my-art will get you all my beautiful and awesome drawing (i am extremely talented)

#my-writings will get you all my writing in a language I don't speak correctly

#my-rambles will get you unhinged thoughts and co.

My Fandom :

I am currently into :

Pathfinder, which includes both Owlcat Games (but mostly Wrath of the Righteous) and also the TTRPG

Dragon Age (most current and newest obsession)

The TTRPG community in general

Baldur's Gate 3

Warhammer 40k

My OCs :

Pathfinder:

Raphaël Esdras (he/him), Hellspawn Tiefling Inquisitor of Sarenrae. My main OC, the love of my life. Played in my WoTR campaign as well as in the video games. Rawful Good zealot with a martyr complex. (Romancing Sosiel)

Lazare Lune-De-Miel (he/him), Kyton-spawn Tiefling Bard/Warlock, faithful follower of Desna, Shelyn, Nocticula and Cayden Cailean. Small but loud, cheerful and incredibely optimistic. Has twelve moms. Accidently made a pact with a devil when he was 12.

Malthus "Ziel" Drezdan (he/him), Pitborn Tiefling Rogue/Bard, calistrian. Son of a disgraced Abadar cleric. Local weirdo. Scaly little brat. Inventor of emo folk in Golarion.

Zarathustra (he/him), Pitborn Tiefling (mother is a succubus) Alchemist. Vaguely follows Brigh. Climbed the social ladder one murder at a time. Poisonned a noble and married his wife. Except the wife was 100% ok with it. Smart, cunning, ruthless, cruel. Local evil man.

Eon Jarjayes (he/they/she in that order), human, rogue. Varisian Pirate. Ex-slave turned ruthless criminal. Nihilist. Will murder you for one corn chip.

Dungeon and Dragons:

Mycellius (he/they). Spore druid hexblood tiefling. Son of a Green Hag. Absolutely disconnected from reality. Speaks to mushroom. Has no concept of economy or hygiene, good or evil. Fascinated with death and decay.

Nym (he/they). Drider, Gloomstalker Ranger. Ex trophy husband turned drider. Shy, terrified man obsessed with his hair. Actually really sweet and kind deep down. Loves flower and sewing. Quiet and calm.

Dragon Age:

Aloysius Lavellan, Inquisitor, Dalish Elf. Sweet elven mage who's really trying his best to make it to the end. Shy and unassuming yet stubborn and determined. Extremely knowledgable on history, biology and magic, completely clueless about people. (Dating the Bull).

Garrett "Nacht" Hawke, Human. Edgiest mage of all of Thedas. Loves to fuck around and find out. Hates Fenris and yet they're dating.

Artemis Tabris. Rogue, City Elf, Warden. Denerim's own Robin Hood. A disappointment to his family. Still loves his dad very much. Easily angered, very agressive. Worst humor ever. (Dated Morrigan then went on to live happily with Zevran).

[thestrangeillusion]

a get to know you better meme

Ahhh this took me more than a month to get around to doing, but I didn’t forget about it!! Thank you so much for tagging me @dummerjan! <3 <3 <3

do you make your bed? No, I don’t really see the point tbh, I’ll only be messing it up in the evening again anyway.

what's your favourite number? Umm, 7 I think? There’s not a particular reason for it though. I do have a soft spot for 21 as well for entirely SKAM related reasons haha.

what is your job? I do scientific evaluations of (primarily) government programmes.  

If you could go back to school would you? Hmm, there’s some appeal to that because I didn’t hate school and the structure and routine of it was mostly good for me, I think. But the thought of being a teenager again and being cooped up in a room with 25+ other teenagers for a minimum of 30 hours a week – no, thank you. But if school is meant in the way US-Americans sometimes use it, as in also meaning further education, then I could be convinced. I mean, I still have to write my master’s thesis, so I’m technically still a student, but I sometimes think re-doing my first couple of years of undergrad (and maybe making some better decisions lol) could be fun.

can you parallel park? Nope, I can’t even really drive anymore, I’m pretty sure, even though I do have a licence. It’s more of a glorified ID at this point because I haven’t actually driven a car in like 4 years or so and even before that I honestly wasn’t very good at it (driving or parking).

a job you had that would surprise people? Not really tbh.

do you think aliens are real? I mean I am pretty sure there are forms of life on other planets, since some of them have been found to have inhabitable environments. If it’s intelligent life I don’t really feel qualified to say although, if I remember correctly, one of my good friends who’s doing a PhD in astrophysics and is one of the smartest people I know once made a pretty convincing argument for it (but I have since forgotten what the argument was lol).

can you drive a manual car? Refer to the question about parallel parking above. I learned to drive in a manual car (I’ve actually never driven an automatic), but I’m fairly sure I don’t actually know how to do it anymore.

what's your guilty pleasure? That’s a difficult question. Reading fucked up smut fics is definitely one of them, I guess. Also does pissing away many of my weekends by staying in bed all day and reading or writing fanfics instead of putting effort into having a social life count? Because I also do that and I do enjoy it, but it’s painful whenever anyone asks what I did on the weekend lol. There’s only so many times you can say “Nothing much” tbh.

tattoos? I like them on other people, mostly. My cousin has a full back tattoo in colour and is slowly adding onto it so that it expands to her arms and sides and I always love seeing which new piece she’s gotten tattooed since I last saw her. It just suits her really well and she’s super passionate about the motive and I love that. And I think that’s where the problem lies for me, I just don’t have any motive or phrase or whatever that I am passionate enough about to permanently put on my body tbh. Also, I am scared of pain and needles, so…

favourite colour? Burgundy.

favourite type of music? Ooof that’s hard to answer, I listen to so many different types of music. One genre I’ve liked pretty consistently from my early teens until now is (mostly British) indie rock and alternative rock – I really like Muse, Placebo, Arctic Monkeys, The Libertines and Nothing But Thieves, for example. And I’ve been to quite a few tiny club concerts of that genre because I know I’ll enjoy it even if I don’t know the band or any of their songs beforehand.

And then I also go through intense music phases mostly related to TV shows I love – it started when I was like 13 watching Gossip Girl and obsessively listening to Death Cab for Cutie, Bloc Party and Sum 41 to when I watched SKAM and got very into Norwegian music (the Norwegian singer/rapper Cezinando still features consistently in my top Spotify artists and has done so since 2017). And now that I’m watching Thai BLs, I started with an obsession about Jeff Satur’s music (and listened to nothing else for like 2 months) and am now gradually venturing out into discovering other Asian music (I’m really enjoying WOODZ, Hua Chen Yu and Violette Wautier so far). So that was a lot of rambling, but still barely covers half of what I actually love listening to…

do you like puzzles? I haven’t done puzzles in aaages, but I have very fond childhood memories of doing them with my grandparents on NYE while waiting for midnight. I think I would still enjoy them if I did them now.

any phobias? Not really. Stuff I’m pretty scared of, sure, but no full-blown phobias.

favourite childhood sport? Hmm, in terms of the sports we played in school, I really enjoyed “Völkerball” (which I’m pretty sure vaguely translates to dodgeball, but I don’t think it’s entirely the same thing). The only problem was that I was really good at dodging the ball and never getting hit, but very, very bad at catching the ball or hitting other people with it, so I could never actually end the game by taking out people on the other team either.

I only started in my teens, but I also really enjoyed (and still enjoy) climbing and bouldering. And my family went skiing every winter when I was a child, which I hated at first, but started to enjoy in my early teens when I didn’t have to do lessons with a bunch of other kids tumbling down the mountain anymore.

do you talk to yourself? All the time in my mind, and sometimes out loud when I’m on my own (particularly when I’m frustrated about something).

what movie(s) do you adore? I actually really love heartwarming feel-good movies tbh. One of my favourite movies is Pride (2014) because it just radiates so much joy and solidarity and a will to live and make things better that always lifts my mood. And I can’t even tell you the amount of times I’ve rewatched Mamma Mia. Another genre of movies I seem to enjoy is movies about female rage a.k.a. women going batshit crazy but being totally justified in it, such as Promising Young Woman or Gone Girl. I do generally prefer watching TV shows to movies, though.

coffee or tea? I get the jitters and become hyperactive in a really uncomfortable way when I drink coffee, so I rarely do. I mostly drink black tea or Mate for the purpose of waking me up.

first thing you wanted to be growing up? Well, according to old friendship book entries, I first wanted to be a princess (until my mum bought me a book about the Habsburgs and I quickly abandoned the idea, which I think was the point) and after that a cook.

Tagging @crumchycow, @mightymightygnomepriest, @salamander89, @fiddlepickdouglas, @obscurecurse

and @lilmaemae and anyone else who wants to do it 😊

[honeekyuu]

hey this is the shy anon from the other day that read through your ao3 and i just wanted to stop in and say to take your time and don’t let these anons get to you. i know you’ve been writing on your ao3 for a while now but your tumblr is literally brand new and i’m honestly at a loss for words that you’re already getting rude anons and people pressuring you to post more.

you seem like a really busy gal and i’d hate for demands like that to burn you out. you’re doing amazing and don’t let anybody be an asshole to you. post what you want when you want/can, i’ve seen far too many people give up on fandom because they feel like they have to constantly churn out content to the detriment of their creativity and passion. you’re so talented and based on the frequency with which you’ve been writing in the last few months it seems like you have a fire in your soul for haikyuu. i hate seeing it taken for granted and i just wanted to let you know you have support in doing whatever the fuck it is you want.

(feel no obligation to reply to this, just wanted to offer some support after seeing such atrocious fandom etiquette literal days into the life of this blog)

wow, i really dont know what to say--

i saw this as soon as you sent it in, but i was honestly super shocked that id gotten it, so ive just been sitting here thinking ab it.

it means probably more than you realize that you sent something so kind. i've been writing for a long long time now (both here on a different blog and on ao3), and it's true that i am very busy, because unfortunately being a phd student and running experiments and spending all my time running back and forth between my advisors and conferences and the lab means i have a schedule thats not really a schedule, and i can never really say when or what im going to be inspired enough to write, enough that i can pull myself out of daily burnout. i experience writing droughts often, sometimes lasting up to a year before i feel the urge to sit down with a doc again. and i have a LOT of half-written fics that have never seen the light of day, which i plan to get back to eventually but which, in reality, may never get finished.

ive gotten so much love and support over the years, and it's brought me back to writing every time. i love haikyuu with my soul, and i think about my fics almost every day because i feel a burning need to write them. if not for anyone else, then just for me.

but this blog is brand new, so, even though that anon i received definitely tops the list of unfriendly comments ive gotten over the many years of writing, i wanted to be as kind and accommodating as possible. because i dont want people to think im ungrateful and will ignore criticism, because no one likes those kinds of writers. but i am also a person, and writing is hard, so i think i will continue to do things my way.

my writing style is this, for anyone who'd like to know: i am erratic, and i dont have an upload schedule, because i cant realistically manage one. i have periods of inactivity, because life is hard, and i have periods of hyperactivity, because i love this fandom and the way that haikyuu makes me feel in a life that's full of terrible feelings. this may annoy some people, and i can understand that. but i cant force myself to write if im not in a place to write, and i cant force myself to stick to one fic at a time, because then it'll be clear that it's been forced.

im extremely annoying and unhinged and feral and i will talk about several different fics and smaus and text threads and headcanons all within the same breath. but i will always write what i love, so if you'd like to see work that is well-loved, feel free to stick around.

thank you very much to everyone whos been so kind in my inbox tonight, and i hope to see you all tomorrow <3

[softeningthesound]

i hate being made to feel and genuinely believe deep inside of me sometimes that spending my years at university in the humanities is a waste of time

i hate that i'm going to spend minimum three years here and i'm made to feel like i won't get anything out of it, i hate that history is a "worthless" degree

i feel guilty that i have no interest or passion for medicine or pharmacy and that even if parts of those fields seem appealing and i want to be in on that world, i have to do physics and chemistry and math on top of biology just to gain access to those fields in university

and i wish i liked physics and chemistry and math and biology enough to want to get through those and do medecine or pharmacy

i wish i was in a field with a better sense of what's to come after the degree

i hate that history is kind of doomed to academics, that everyone asks me "oh so are you going to be a teacher?" i"m not interested in becoming a teacher and i don't want to do a master's or doctorate degree so what is this bacc going to do for me?

i may enjoy getting to know the friends i've made here and most of my classes but there's always that lingering sense that it's all for nothing aside from "sort of having fun for three and a half years"

having doctor parents and working in a pharmacy lab means i'm always surrounded by people who i feel have a grip on their lives and are doing something elevated and smart and meaningful while i'm just wasting away writing not-groundbreaking-at-all essays and partying once a week

i did chemistry and physics in high school and hated writing lab reports but what i did love was a) knowing i was doing well in those classes and b) that feeling when you understand a concept and how to apply it to other situations and feel like you've gained new ground

and i think it's gifted kid shit too, because i never struggled in school and did well in my sciencey classes and now it's like i'm wasting talent taking classes on the history of the united states or the history of urbanism when i've always been made to feel like i should be spending that energy on the sciences, or like i should be interested in those more/force myself through them and go into something more practical at university

it's also the idea that if you go through all these years of medecine or pharmacy or neuroscience or engineering at school, you get these really prestigious and high-paying jobs that you don't get if you do a bacc in the humanities or even a master's or doctorate degree because again, people with PhDs in history are kind of stuck in university for the rest of their lives, teaching classes to young adults who are sort of stuck in the same situation of a) study like seven more years and become a teacher or b) find a more practical way to use your degree or just change majors

i try not to think about it too much because this is exactly what caused me so much anxiety last semester and most of the time i'm fine but then i start up this internal worrying again

i can't reiterate how much i feel like i'm contributing nothing to society by studying in this field, how much it stings when the pharmacist i work with says "of course your end-of-semester isn't too difficult, you're in history", how much i... yearn?? when i watch fucking tiktoks of med students matching into different specialties at their dream hospitals, when i hear the pharmacists around me talk about their time at school, even sometimes when my parents are just casually talking about patients

i hate not having a clear goal

[audaciousamadeus]

New 365 Party Girl Who Dis

Turns out that the girl from Geneva who also got fucked over by EasyJet really, REALLY wanted to go clubbing.

Some time in late September I opened my instagram to an unnexpected message from her. An invitation to go to her place with some of her friends and to then go clubbing in Shoreditch.

Simultaneously, Anxious Greek Fairy, who is another PhD student in the same floor as me but in a different lab, invited me to her birthday party. Although we are always there in the lab late at night and on weekends, me and her have very different lifestyles. She does like to allow any thought to go through her head and therefore if she's not in the lab she is out partying. That being said, for her birthday I promised that I would go to wherever she wanted me to go, no exceptions.

As it turns out, her celebration would be on the same day as the invitation fron the Genevan girl's thing, but the venue wasn't chosen yet.

Three things made me torn:

I must always follow through with my promises and therefore had to go to the birthday no matter where it would be.

I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and go out dancing with that stranger and her friends to shake up my life for a bit for the plot (and because I felt a bit guilty for saing no to her twice before).

I'm not used to this and felt tired just thinking about the prospects.

One day before, Anxious Greek Fairy made up her mind and revealed that she also wanted to go to a club in Shoreditch. I checked the distance between this club and the Genevan girl's place and decided I could definitely make both happen but I would prioritise the birthday celebration.

But at what cost?

I had gotten back from Denmark on Thursday evening. It had been 4 days of intense networking and travelling around has absolutely killed me this year in general, but I got rest (as in, gently avoiding people like the plague) on Friday and hoped for the best.

I went to the lab on Saturday until around 6pm and the birthday girl was there. Of course she was. We have similar workaholic routines so she's always there in the weird times that I'm in. Always venting about science, experiments, people or things and occasionally having some coffee. You know, in this harsh academic environment you need to stick together (and she's just a very lovely person). She was more stressed than usual because of logistics of her plans (happens often but not to this level), and told me to join them in her place in Streatham before going to Shoreditch at 11pm.

I had to analyse data for a meeting with collaborators on Monday and to write an email ASAP about the exciting collaboration I got at the conference in Denmark, so I knew I most likely wouldn't have time to join her in Streatham and would see her at the club.

And before that I would go to the Genevan girl's place. Everything about this plan made me anxious. I only went clubbing once and it was in Frankfurt, on the New Year's Eve from 2020. Probably what caused the pandemic, as it was too much of a shift in the force.

I put on a very Berliner outfit and some acceptable make-up and left the flat to get to Shoreditch at 10pm. On the way there, birthday girl called me and said that this had been a misunderstanding, that people would arrive at her place around 10pm and she would only be in Shoreditch at 1.30am. Lord almighty, this somehow made my plan be way more feasible. She apologised but I reassured her that it was truly alright and that I had an idea of how to spend my time until then, explaning the whole plan. That managed to reassure her thankfully.

The Genevan girl and her friends were actually very pleasant. So was her flat, but this was her goodbye to it as she would soon be moving to Stratford. She put on some music, and we all spoke about Murakami novels, and some dubious fantasy novel that I've also read after the vegan witch told me she hated it (I call it "The Fairy Fucker Book"). I somehow overheard one Spanish girl whisper to someone else "I'm straight but Amadeus is so hot, Jesus Christ" and almost choked on my cheap Rosé wine. Really unbelievable stuff. After a while we headed to this club called Old Street Records and they decided to get an Uber to go there, although the journey wouldn't take long. They decided to put on music in the car, after asking for permission, and just straight up doing karaoke on the way there. At first I felt very sorry for the Uber driver and thought about how he should get a humongous tip, but the Genevan girl did one hell of a cover of Super Bass. Bro should feel grateful for the free concert.

I could feel that this club was more mainstream and that I was not as drunk as the rest of them, but still tried to have some fun dancing. I tried to stick to the group, and at times that I was alone I just had to avoid eye contact from a few sleasy guys and to elegantly slide away from them if needed. Around 1.30am I could not find the group anymore and had to go, so I texted my goodbye and danced my way through the crowd until I reached the exit and walked 5 minutes until the birthday club, Basing House.

This place was definitely more alternative, playing DnB just like the birthday girl likes, and there were people from a wider age range. They were also definitely using drugs, but everyone was more respectful. I had to wait 30 more minutes for the Anxious Greek Fairy to arrive, so I had a few shots and had a great time dancing. Briefly I considered not dancing away from certain people, sticking around for maximum 1 minute with each person before switching around or dancing by myself while I waited. It helped that people were respectful and decent I have to say, that made the 30 minutes pass by very quickly. When the birthday girl arrived with her crew, they were all beyond wasted. Despite that, she remained fully functional, as expected. We danced some more, I said hi to previous friends of hers that I met before in a jazz event that she invited me to. They were all from outside of academia but close to her friend circle from Sheffield, where she used to live. We took an angelic chaotic picture before continuing to dance.

Clearly though, I was far more sober than the rest of them and by now was feeling quite tired so I said goodbye like a modern day Cinderella for the second time tonight, just in time to catch my magic pumpkin ride home (*cough cough* a shitty TfL bus *cough cough*). I got home at 4am fully sober, removed my make-up, had a shower, brushed my teeth, and had a lovely night of sleep. I had a surprisingly enjoyable time but this definitely cannot happen often. Apparently the Genevan girl's friends also liked me as they all tried to add me on social media, another shocking event to be honest, but a pleasant surprise.

Well, maybe I wasn't as sober as I remembered, since apparently I made an emotionally charged playlist on the bus on the way home. I chose to keep it though, for therapeutic purposes. I decided to see it as one more productive thing done this weekend.

Bisoux,

A (carefully) Audacious party girl

[army-of-bee-assassins]

wtf one of the second year students i got paired with in my program is doing a dual track masters/phd and she says the phd portion is fully funded for everyone with a $1450 monthly stipend. should i get a phd? i didn't know it would be basically free lmao

[alrightberries]

honey, honey (how you thrill me)

request: i loved strawberries and cigarettes but levi just can’t catch a break :(( can we have a super fluffy modern au with boyfriend levi instead? thanks!

request: hi i’m new here and had read your fics. i love your take on levi’s character! Also that your writing is very great to read!😘 (tho that angst really made me cry HARD) if i may request umm... i want a levi x reader fic about them being like an old married couple but they’re not in a relationship ‘yet’ so like everyone ships them. Its a fluffy crack fic/ Reader is like “well you’re clean and I kinda lilke you so...” then levi be like “you’re tolerable and knows how to properly clean.” and then they really ended up married. It’s like the easiest transition from friends to lovers that one day they just said lets get married we act like it anyway whats new 😂. I want fluffs and laughs! Aot is angsty enough we need fluffs with our favorite characters!!

❈ pairing: levi ackerman x reader

❈ genre: fluff, semi-crack.  ❈ word count: 4.6k

❈ summary: modern au. In which you and Levi are both professors at the same university, and are painfully unaware that all the students and other staff members have a bet that’s been going on for years now. What’s it about? When you’ll both finally confess to each other and just date already.

❈ trigger warnings: profanity. mentions of sex

a/n: made it gender neutral as per usual. this was really fun to write! makes me think about writing fluff more often (pffft sure)

Trost University was home to many brilliant minds. It was a prestigious school with an acceptance rate of 600 out of 4000 yearly applicants, and producing the finest students; those of which would almost always graduate with high honors before starting a successful career of their choosing.

Its professors, undoubtedly, were of the finest quality as well. They were professional, extremely skilled, and highly trained. It was a workforce full of almost over qualified educators excelling in their respective fields, with master and PhD certificates framed on cubicle walls being the norm in the faculty room.

Erwin himself was proud to be a professor here. He started working as a high school teacher when he was still studying for his master’s degree, shifting from high school teachings to college teachings as years passed by, before eventually getting recognized and offered a job seven years ago by the prestigious school.

His friends— a loving and longterm couple who, as far as he knew, were high school sweethearts and still going strong today— had joined him on this journey as well. He’d known them since they were in college, all studying different fields but aiming for the same career of teaching.

The three of them shared a strong bond; a bond built on study groups, mutual dislike for crappy teachers, and a certain love for education. They were there for him, and he was there for them. He especially disliked it, however, when their relationship went through rough patches. He didn’t like picking sides, and listening to the same story being told from two different perspectives almost always made him want to grab Y/N and Levi’s heads and bash them together for how dumb they were acting.

But despite the differences and occasional fights, he wouldn’t hesitate to say that he trusted them with his life.

So Erwin, for the life of him, couldn’t figure out why he was just now finding out that the power couple he knew and loved wasn’t even a couple at all.

“So, wait.” He speaks, trying to be heard over the crowded cafeteria chatter. “You’re telling me... they’re not a longterm couple?”

“They’re not.” Moblit confirms easily. “Apparently, they’re not even dating.”

“Or so they claim.” Hange interjects. “Y/N and Levi have actual matching rings. Literally— I asked Levi about it once and he said Y/N was his fiancé.”

“But not romantically.” Moblit quickly adds on. “I was there too, he said not romantically.”

“Why would Levi propose to someone he’s not romantically interested in, huh?!” She counters back, a little louder than the brown haired man’s volume.

“I don’t know! Citizenship? Money? Sex—“

“They’re in love! You know they’re in love, you’re just denying it because you want to get in Y/N’s pants.” She huffs. “And because you’re about to lose the bet.”

Erwin’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “Bet? What bet?”

“Oh, you don’t know about the bet?” Hange asks. “It’s been going on for, like, five years now. The entire faculty’s in on it.” She begins to chow down on her soup, not offering more of an explanation. Moblit takes this as his cue to expand when he notices Erwin’s blank stare.

“Since you guys joined maybe... seven or so years ago? Everyone just assumed Y/N and Levi were a thing. Because of, y’know, the way they interact with each other. But then five years ago Hange and I asked them when their anniversary was so we could get them some wine, and both of them full on denied even being in a relationship.”

Hange nods, more than a spoonful of soup and a more than generous bite of bread in her mouth. “Yeah, but then I peaked at their faculty files—“

“Peaked at their faculty files?” Erwin murmurs, but he’s ignored.

“—and they have the same home address. They live together!”

“I can confirm that much, at least.” The blonde man answers thoughtfully. “They’ve been sharing a dorm since college but Y/N moved out at some point. They live together in Levi’s apartment now, though.”

“That doesn’t prove anything.” Says Moblit. “They could just be roommates and really good friends.”

“Well I’ll say!” Hange throws her hands in the air. “I caught Y/N sucking Levi’s dick at a party once. Must be one hell of a friendship they have, aye Moblit?”

Her elbow begins nudging the brunette beside her, and Erwin stares with amusement when Moblit starts getting irritated from the eccentric woman’s teasing.

“So what’s the wager?” Erwin asks.

The two professors stop their bickering and share an evil smile. Hange gestures for Erwin to come closer, as if she were about to tell him a secret, and he does just that.

“Whoever wins the bet gets a free meal from Shaw’s Bistro.”

Erwin’s eyes widen. Shaw’s Bistro; the classy high end restaurant with the fancy wine, fancier atmosphere, and the best Japanese Salted Salmon he’s ever had.

It was an expensive restaurant— even for someone with his salary. Erwin knew he could rarely ever eat there unless he wanted to run his bank account dry. And he concludes that this petty bet must be a Pretty Big Fucking Deal.

He squints his eyes. “I’m listening.”

Hange giggles as she continues. “Basically, you have to guess how long it’ll take for Y/N and Levi to finally admit they’re couple. But you can’t choose the same answer as other people in the bet, we can’t afford two winners. Literally.” She gestures to Moblit. “Unless you’re like dumb dumb over there who wagered they’ll never admit it because they’re not a couple—“

“They’re not!”

“—I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

Erwin nods his head, one hand on his chin in thought. He never did explicitly ask whether they were dating or not, he just assumed they were.

He carefully considers his options; be a snoop to his longterm friends and possibly break their trust for joining a foolish bet? Or Japanese Salted Salmon from Shaw’s Bistro?

Hange and Moblit look at him expectantly, smiling when he nods.

“Deal me in.”

The cafeteria was noisy when you walked in.

Students mingled amongst themselves, chatting idly about academics and gossip. Cutlery scraped against each other as people took bites of their meals. Your eyes scanned the crowd, spotting your friends sitting around their usual table and having what seemed to be a heated discussion.

You turned to look at the man beside you. “Did you bring your own lunch today?”

Levi nods as he lifts up a small black bag. “Always do. But I’ll stand next to you in the lunch line so you don’t look like a loner.”

That was Levi Speak for I’ll wait for you.

You smile. “Thanks.”

The brief silence between you is broken when you start talking about your students— how proud you were that Armin was tutoring some of the struggling students in his free time, how terrible Jean was at hiding his crush on Mikasa, how terrible Mikasa was at hiding her crush on Eren (“I don’t even think she’s trying to hide it. At this point, I’m convinced that Eren is either dumb or dense.”)

Levi nods along to your tales, seemingly uninterested and bored. But anyone who knew him well would know he was listening intently as you spoke, every word heard loud and clear and processing in his mind as soon as they left your lips. Occasionally, he would pipe in with his own comments (“Eren’s just dumb.”) but he didn’t engage too much, opting to let you speak and rant on.

Your talkativeness never got on his nerves, contrary to popular belief. He liked listening to your stories, listening to your voice, and seeing the little glint in your eyes when you start talking passionately about your students. He overall just liked being around you. You were cleaner than most people he knew. You were tolerable. Sometimes a pain in the ass, but still tolerable.

But what does get on his nerves, however, is being ‘secretly’ watched by his friends.

Once he’s sure you’re not looking, he turns his head in the direction of their table, murderous glare prominent on his face. Hange, Moblit, and Erwin quickly snap their heads down and pretend to eat, but Levi knew they were definitely staring.

“Oh crap, I forgot my free meal card.” He hears you mumble beside him. He hadn’t even realized you were already standing in front of the counter.

“Figures. You have the memory of a gold fish.” Levi comments off-handedly. 

He hands the cashier his free meal card and grabs your tray for you, and you silently took the coat that Levi had swung over his arm to carry with you instead. You knew he’d hate for it to get dirtied by any accidental soup splashing.

“So, what’s happening on your end of the gossip?” You ask, both making your way to your usual table with friends.

Levi shrugs. “The brats are doing well on their thesis. Their grammar is shit though; makes you wonder how they graduated high school.”

You snicker. “You say that now but tomorrow pull an all-nighter to help them study and revise.”

“You’re not one talk. You scheduled two different consultations between classes and three more after your shift.”

“I can’t help it, okay?! You know I have a soft spot for the kids from the 104th.”

Of course he did. He knew of your affection for that specific group of students— admittedly, he held a twinge of affection for them too.

They were part of the first class you ever taught in your entire teaching career. At the time, you both worked at some crappy school in the 104th district. And to see the kids now, all grown up and studying at a prestigious college, it made your heart swell. And Levi’s heart... well, suffice to say it cracked some of the ice around it.

“That soft spot of yours is making you lose sleep.” He scolds. “I’ll take some of the consultations off your hands. The lil shits deserve a teacher who isn’t half asleep.”

Again, that was Levi Speak for Don’t overwork yourself, let me help.

You jokingly slap his arm. “That’s rude!”

“I know.”

Your conversation is interrupted when you finally arrived at the table, Levi setting down your tray in front of you and you handing him back his coat as you sat down next to each other.

“Hey.” You greet your friends, and Levi silently unpacks his lunch. “What were you guys talking about? It looked pretty intense.”

“Oh, nothing, nothing.” Hange waved off. “Just the usual. Grading papers, grading lab experiments, grading essays. The usual.”

You nod, unconvinced but letting it slide. “I see.”

The table is once again filled with laughter and conversations. Banter was thrown around here and there, mostly between you, Hange, and Moblit as you debated about films and TV shows. Levi and Erwin stuck to light chatter, but it didn’t go unnoticed to the shorter man when Erwin’s eyes squinted as Levi placed his arm around the back of your chair like he always did, or when Hange tried to hide her squeal when he wiped some excess soup from the corner of your lips.

Something was up.

It was about ten minutes into lunch when your phone began to ring, a notification from a reminder app you downloaded. You picked up your phone and sighed as you read your schedule.

“Gotta go. I have a meeting in a few.” You mutter, beginning to clean up your tray and utensils; you were a little disappointed. You didn’t even get to finish your soup.

Levi eyes you and the way you kept glancing back and forth between your soup and the clock. He sighs before he speaks, “I’ll take care of your dishes and buy you lunch later. Just go.”

“No, no, I can— fuck!” You yell when the bowl of soup is accidentally knocked over, spilling over your jacket.

Levi silently offers you his handkerchief to clean yourself up. He starts using napkins to clean the table as well, before taking the coat he brought and giving it to you.

“Use this for now.”

You smile at him once again, taking your coat off and slipping on his as you stood up. “Thanks.”

He doesn’t flinch (or react for that matter) when you kiss his cheek before you left, only letting out a small hum of acknowledgement as you waved goodbye to your friends and made your way to the meeting.

Once you were out of view, Hange’s smile immediately drops in favor of too serious eyes as she starts interrogating Levi.

“Okay, cut the crap, Ackerman. How long have you—“

“Hange, no, we’ve talked about this.” Erwin tries to reason but his pleas fall on deaf ears as she continues.

“How long have you and Y/N been dating?”

Ah. So that’s what it was about.

Levi sighs and continues to chew on his bread. He unenthusiastically stares at the woman yelling at him, swallowing his meal before speaking, “I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again: we’re not.”

“Bullshit!” She yells. “You guys are a disgusting old married couple who have two adopted children—“

“Dogs.” Levi corrects boredly, but just like everyone else at the table, he’s ignored as Hange continues her tirade.

“—have matching sweaters, do small bullshit for each other like paying for meals and lending your coats. And for god’s sake, they literally just kissed your cheek even though you hate human contact.”

She finishes her rant but Levi looks unphased. God, she wanted to punch his dumb and oblivious face so bad.

“Those are normal things normal friends do. I’m not surprised you wouldn’t know, four-eyes.” Says Levi, but Hange is unaffected and already used to his abrasive words.

Levi continues. “We don’t do anything beyond what’s considered friendship.”

Hange squints her eyes in suspicion. “Didn’t Y/N move into your apartment?”

“Yeah. Their landlord was shit.”

“Where I caught you having sex?”

“We’re fuck buddies and you don’t know how to knock.”

“But you introduced them to your mom as your fiancé?”

“I lied so she would stop bugging me about getting married.”

“You literally have a shared bank account and a shared retirement fund!”

“It’s easier to keep track of.”

“Damn it, Levi!”

Armin stares at the study guide in front of him, mind half processing the words and half... not. Quite frankly, he starts to wonder if the papers you’d given him were written in gibberish or some dead language no one spoke anymore.

You see him struggle to understand the sheet of paper in front of him, and sigh.

“Need a little help there, Armin?” You offer but he shakes his head. “I’m okay. I think I can understand this if I read through it more, it’s my friends I’m worried about.”

He glances beside him where the rest of his study group also stared the papers, each face painted with a unique mixture of confusion and dread.

You weren’t surprised, however. The readings for this module were quite complex, and the fact that your brightest students— Armin and Mikasa— were struggling with it made you feel a little bit hopeless for the rest of your class. Truth be told, even though you taught this topic countless of times, you weren’t entirely sure how to simplify it without leaving out too much information.

“Okay, how about this, we could—“ A soft knock interrupts your sentence, and you stare at the students in front of you to remember if you were expecting any more. It seemed like everyone was here, however, so you weren’t sure who was at the door.

“It’s me.” Came Levi’s voice, almost like he heard your inner monolgue.

“Come in!” You called out, focus shifting back to the paper in front of you as you heard the door open and close.

Okay, so I guess I could take this part and summarize it for them? Or would that still be too complicated? No, maybe I can—

“Ah, it’s that topic.” Levi mumurs, snapping you out of your thoughts. His face was directly next to yours as he stared intently at the papers you held. “No wonder you all look like you’re about to crap your pants.”

“Language, Levi. Not in front of the students.” You scold.

“They curse more than I do.”

“Still.”

He ignores your comment as he hands you a brown paper bag, pulling a chair out to sit next to you. He grabs the paper from your hands to look over the study guide you prepared, undoubtedly trying to figure out a way to simplify it as well.

“What’s this?” You ask, opening the paper bag.

“Bought you dinner.” He replies, eyes not leaving the paper in front of him. “I figured you’d forget again.”

As if on cue, your stomach suddenly starts feeling empty. It was impossible that you were hungry, though. You just had lunch. And after lunch you had some meetings to attend to, a couple classes, some last minute consultations, and— okay. Maybe it’d been a couple hours since lunch, but it couldn’t be that bad. A brief glance at the clock confirms that—

“Holy shit, it’s almost 8pm.”

“Language, Y/N. Not in front of the students.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“Gladly.”

The students in front of you let out a loud groan, faces over exaggeratedly contorted in disgust at your and Levi’s conversation.

Levi glimpses up at them and raises his eyebrow in question, while you jokingly roll your eyes.

“Alright, I think we should continue our consultation another time.” You said, beginning to pack up your teaching materials as the students did the same. “It’s getting late and curfew’s at 8pm. I’d better not see any of you outside the dorms.”

You knew you would though. It’s Friday night, there’s a bar across the street, and they’re teenagers. What could possibly go wrong?

You turn to Levi and hand him the keys. “You go ahead to the car, I’ll finish packing up.”

“It’s alright, I’ll wait for you in the hallway.” Levi takes the car keys as he stands up, walking out the door once again and leaving you alone with your students.

As you began to arrange your papers and clear the table, you start to remind them, “Okay, so we can discuss chapters—“

“Are you and Professor Ackerman dating?” Eren asks curiously, earning a shove from Jean and a silent threat to shut up, dumbass.

You chuckle. “No, Eren. We’re not.”

He gives you a doubtful look, one which you only return with a curious face.

“What’s with that look?” You ask, and he shrugs.

“You should date him— ow, what?!” He speaks, getting shoved by both Reiner and Jean this time before Mikasa pulls them off of him. You pause from your task.

“Okay, I’ll humor you. Why should I date him?”

The students share a look, daring each other to respond to your bold question. A few tense moments pass by and you smugly continue packing your papers. Yeah, you figured no one would—

“He’s nicer when he’s with you.” To your surprise, it was Mikasa who answers.

Unsure how to answer but still wanting to remain professional, you nod your head without looking up from your task. “Duly noted. Now go on, I know you have parties to attend to. I won’t hold you here much longer.”

The students laughed as they said their goodbyes; you held the door open for them until everyone was out before you left as well, shutting down the lights and locking the room once more.

A warm hand makes its way to the small of your back, and you smile.

“Hey.” Levi greets.

“Hey.” You repeat. “You read to go?”

“Yeah.”

“Wanna share my dinner when we get back home?”

“...yeah.”

He takes the stack of paper from your arms, his free hand reaching out for your own. You walked down the hallway in relative silence, interlocked hands swinging slightly from every step.

From the opposite corner of the hallway, the students’ prying eyes observe the small interaction; the two professors remained completely unaware that they were being watched.

“Told you they were a thing.” Ymir gloats, and the group snickers as Reiner irritatedly hands her some money.

Something was wrong.

If there was one thing Erwin knew from the nearly two decade long friendship he shared with you and Levi, it was when something was wrong.

It didn’t go unnoticed to him when Levi didn’t open your side of the car door as he usually would when you arrived at the parking lot; when he made a beeline for his cubicle in the faculty instead of helping you get settled first; when you didn’t make a fresh pot of tea for him before classes started; when your small sweet gestures throughout the day were kept to a minimal; and most importantly, when neither you nor Levi wore your matching gold rings.

The faculty was nearly empty, save for himself, Hange, Moblit, and the two people who were having a lover’s quarrel. The entire day went by without seeing you two walk side by side like you usually would, and Erwin was pretty sure Levi’s permanent frown somehow got deeper.

Yeah. Something was horribly wrong.

“Pssst.” Erwin hears from the desk next to his. He turns around and is met with Hange and Moblit’s curious gazes.

“The hell happened to those two? Trouble in paradise?” Hange asks, eyeing Y/N and Levi’s grouchy faces and refusal to acknowledge each others’ existence as they each packed their things. She adds on, “Are they getting divorced?” Only to be reminded by Moblit that “They’re not dating.”

Erwin shrugs, answering Hange’s question. “No idea.”

Moblit chimes in, “I heard Petra tried asking Levi out yesterday and now Y/N is jealous.” 

She scoffs. “Y/N isn’t the jealous type. Besides, Petra’s part of the bet so that means she thinks they’re going to get together.”

“I’m part of the bet and I don’t think they’re going to get together.” Moblit points out. “And Petra stares at Levi the way Levi stares at Y/N.”

“Full of disdain and irritation?” Hange asks.

“No,” Erwin finally interjects. “Full of love and admiration.”

“Can the three of you creeps keep your mouths shut?” Hange, Erwin, and Moblit’s heads snapped to the direction of the voice, eyes meeting a pissed off Levi with a pissed off Y/N beside him. It seems like their hushed whispering wasn’t so hushed at all. 

“When you gossip about our private life the least you could do is wait until we’ve left the room.” You gritted.

“No, it wasn’t-” Hange tries to defend herself but is cut off by Levi, “We already heard you talking. Now out with it before I change my mind about letting this slide.”

The three guilty professors sigh, sharing a look before Erwin decides to come clean. “We’re concerned for you.” He starts. “You’ve been ignoring each other the entire day and whatever this fight is, it’s the worst one I’ve seen you have.”

You sigh. “Listen, it’s not that we don’t appreciate your concern, it’s just that-”

“-it’s just that it’s none of your goddamn business.” Levi interjects and you immediately glare at his rudeness. 

“Shut it, Levi. I don’t have time for your bull.”

“And I don’t have time for your petty lies.”

The three watched as you and Levi begin to quarrel, sharp words and irritated glares thrown around with each passing second. Your voices overlapped with each other as Erwin tried to make sense of what it was you were even fighting about, some words about betrayal in the highest degree and ruining a good thing and a relationship built on lies being the few words he understands. 

Finally, he has enough.

“Stop.” Erwin says loudly but firmly. The two of you pause from your bickering him and stare at him incredulously; he continues to speak, “We’re not teenagers anymore, we’re grown adults. I’m getting tired of playing mediator whenever you fight but if I have to do it again so you stop yelling, then I will.” 

He sighs. “Now what the hell are you two fighting about?”

“Y/N started it.” “Levi started it.” You say at the same time, and Erwin feels a headache coming but decides to ignore it.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

The two of you stare at each other angrily, almost daring the other to back down. This goes on for a few seconds before Levi finally sighs and speaks.

“Y/N thinks lemon scented detergent is better than lavender scented detergent.”

Hange and Moblit snicker but quickly shut up when Erwin gives them a look. He wasn’t even surprised that a fight as small and menial as this would be the fight that tears his favorite power couple apart.

“It is and you know it.” You reply defiantly and Levi groans in frustration, hand holding his head in disbelief as he quietly mutters, “I can’t believe I’m marrying someone who thinks lemon is better than lavender.”

At that, Hange’s ears perk up. “You’re getting married?!” She screams, and the two of you look at her in confusion, fight suddenly forgotten.

“Yeah, next week.” You reply wearily. “We emailed you the invites.”

If Erwin thought your bickering was loud, then the squeal that Hange let out was nothing short of deafening as she suddenly lunges at the couple, forcing them into a group hug as she cheers, “I knew it! I fucking knew it! You are together.”

Levi scoffs. “Don’t be silly, it’s for tax purposes. Apparently the bank won’t approve the loan for our new house unless we’re legally wed; something about tax fraud.”

“House?” Moblit echoes. “Don’t you already live together?”

You nod. “Yeah, but we figured the kids-”

“Dogs.” Levi corrects.

“-deserve a yard to run around in. Our apartment’s getting too cramped for the four of us.”

“Don’t ruin this for me!” Hange yells. “I have a wedding to plan.”

Levi sighs. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, four-eyes. There isn’t going to be a ceremony. We’re going to a court house to get our marriage license approved. That’s it.”

“And we invited you and Erwin to be our witnesses.” You explained. “There isn’t going to be a celebration but we’re going to host a small dinner party for close friends and family.We’d greatly appreciate it if you can RSVP to the emails within the week so we know how much food to prepare.”

The three professors nod, each exchanging pleasant smiles. It wasn’t the wedding invite they were hoping to receive but it was still a wedding invite nonetheless, and they weren’t about to burst your bubble.

“Hold on a second,” Erwin mutters, suddenly remembering one detail. “Where are your rings?” He gestures to your ringless hands.

“We had them engraved with our initials. Makes things more believable.” Levi answers. “If you’re done with the dumb questions, we’ll go ahead now.” 

He doesn’t wait for them to answer as he holds your hand in his, walking you out of the faculty room and into the hallway as he pretends not to notice his friends giggling like teenagers at the information you just shared.

“So...” You start, giving him a warm smile as you squeezed his hand. “Do you think they’re catching on?”

Levi lets out a rare smile, eyes softening as he looks at you. “No. They’re too dumb to know we’re actually together. They’ll eat up whatever bullshit explanation we come up with.”

“Okay, but remind me again why we have to keep pretending like we’re not actually together and not actually getting married next week?”

He brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles affectionately before placing his hand on the small of your back.

“Does it bother you that they don’t know?” He asks, and you hum as you think it through. “No. It’s actually really entertaining.” You laugh. “But why don’t you want them to know?”

He shrugs, pulling you closer to him. “That’s what they get for placing stupid bets.”

alrightberries © 2020. do not modify or repost.

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[luci-cunt]

Blessing you all with @moonsandstarsaregay and I's fucking brilliance that is the lotr modern college au where Sam is utterly in love with his best friend, which is terrible 😔, because it'll never be reciprocated 💔.

Meanwhile Frodo thinks they've been dating for years. The whole miscommunication is based on the fact that Sam is absolutely convinced "bf" means "best friend" and not "boyfriend" and Frodo is incapable of typing words out completely

There is more but there is a image limit 😔

Transcript below cut <33

[A variety of screenshots from a discord conversation between myself (Luci) and my friend (Mo-ony), I'm gonna just paraphrase keysmashes lmaooo not copy them letter for letter <3]

[Image One]

Luci: also wait wait now I'm actually obsessed with this au ok wait college au modern college au

Mo-ony: Queers are just on another level of stupid at times and that's ok YES Yeeeeeeeeees Frodo keeps planning the cutest dates for them

Luci: Sam and Frodo grew up in the same town and went to the same high school and then went to the same college--but sam's majoring in something like agriculture or history of agriculture bc I love him and Frodo is doing some entirely made up and very flowery degree that he can list off without a econds hesitation but no one else has any hope of remembering (except Sam, who thinks it's the most normal thing in the world to have it memorized and is confused when no one else can)

[Image Two]

mo-ony: Frodo poasting pics of them like "so happy spending time with my wonderful bf [insane amount of loving emojis]"

Luci: dsjkf;lakjsdfasdf

mo-ony: And sam is like "frendzone [pensive emoji]"

[Image Three]

Luci: Aragorn is a professor who ended up just becoming a father, Legolas is his TA and he is insufferable and Gimli is a mechanic/ shop student/ TA and he and Legolas have this "feud"

[Image Four]

Luci: Gandalf is some professor that is rumored to have been hired when the school was founded and has tenure so strong he could literally burn the building down and still get paid

[Image Five]

Luci: Bilbo is Frodo's guardian and he's literally just as insuferable as Frodo--like, same made-up-incredibly-complex-degree except that he actually gets actively pissed when people don't remember it

mo-ony: aldjksf;laskjdf;asldk

Luci: he used to teach but he retired because he hates people so much so Aragorn and Gandalf know him (derogatory) (affectionate)

mo-ony: XDDD Is he an academic still?

Luci: yes, very much so, he has an unreasonable amount of PhD's and everyone thinks he's absolutely unhinged

mo-ony: He feels like the type to publish but then refuse to defend any of his work

Luci: YES OH MY GOD YES

[Image Six]

mo-ony: bc that involves going outside

Luci: he just grumbles about it bitterly in his house alsjkdf;laksjdf;lak

mo-ony: YES

Luci: like he keeps up with people's arguments but refuses to dispute them

mo-ony: exactly!!!!!

Luci: Frodo is keeping twitter a secret from him for his own safety and it is a running gag that he absolutely cannot find out about the internet Sam by extention is also in on this

mo-ony: and idk who but certain brave souls provoke him into tangents and secretly write them down and add it to the academic discourse anyways

Luci: Gandalf wants so badly to give it away but he's also slightly afraid of Frodo

[Image Seven]

Luci: jas;dflkjasd;lfkjasdf Bilbo: "what's this twitter thing??" Frodo: *panicking* "it's a sex thing" Sam: *standing in the room* [skull emoji] Bilbo: "I'll never understand technology"

[Image Eight]

Luci: also Legolas is absolutely some kind of instagram famous icon

mo-ony: oh my god oh my goddddddddd hes a gd inluencer

Luci: Legolas: *visiting Hobbiton and taking selfies everywhere* "oh my god this is so gorgeous my followers will die" Bilbo: "Followers?" Sam: *panicking* "Legolas is the leader of a cult"

mo-ony: XDDDD

Luci: Frodo: *nodding along frantically*

mo-ony: "youre being followed?? And you came to my house????"

Luci: k;flajsd;flkajsd LITERALLY I'm actually losing it this is incredible

mo-ony: *frantically licking the doors and windows*

[Image Nine]

Luci: Arwen in this AU is like, a park ranger and Aragorn is just completely helplessly in love with her. Like--any spare moment mans like "have I told you about my gorgeous and amazing and strong wife?"

mo-ony: T-T Oh my god What a mood

Luci: she comes in ust covered in dirt and beaming and kisses him before turning to the class and holding up a fucking frog like "THIS FUCKER IS SO POISONOUS" and everyone is like "YOOOO"

[Image Ten]

(context, we swapped to talking about Galadriel)

Luci: ok but if that's the case then she'd be like, just a good friend of Gandalf's and everyone in the entire college is actually in love with her Also I think it would be entirely hilarious if like, everything about this au was modern and normal but Galadriel is still just literally an elf goddess alkdj;laskjdflkj

mo-ony: lakjsd;lfkjasd;lfkjasdf Losing it Yes XDDDDDD

Luci: Galadriel: *rides in on a massive stag, glowing like pure starlight and causing flowers to turn towards her like she's the sun* All the college students just assuming they're having a group hallucination: "Preddy lady"

[end description]

[ziamhaze]

My Future in Fic

Yeah, so, the 100k fic that I’ve been working on for the past six months?  The one that was going to be uploaded to AO3 last week?  Yeah, it’s accidentally getting published...

Where do I start?

I suppose with a massive thank you to anyone who’s clicked on any of my fics over these past two years.  I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again.  I never ever thought about writing as a career.  I’ve never written anything prior to my Harry Potter AU Compartment 451.  I didn’t even take an English class in undergrad or grad school.  I genuinely just had an idea for a fic I wanted to read and since no one had written it, I had to do so myself.  Since then, I’ve written every single day for 2 years.  I left my job in the entertainment industry, got accepted to one of the best creative writing programs in the world on a scholarship, and now one of my stories is being considered at Harper Collins.  Yes, the Harper Collins.  It’s the longest shot in the world, but for legal reasons I was not allowed to upload the fic version on any website prior to submission.  Even if they don’t pick it up, I’ve been advised to continue to shop it around to agents.

What I can do, however, is share the premise.

If you’ve been following my tumblr and watching my tags - I SEE YOU ALL OUT THERE - then you’ll know that this fic was meant to have Zayn with his signature undercut hairstyle and one more little thing...

Someone sent me an ask a while back about what this fic was supposed to be about.  I believe I said something about it being an adaptation fic, but not from a film/tv show/other piece of literature, from a song.  This next fic was meant to be an adaptation of the song Younger by Ruel.  Later on, it also took shape with the help of Remember by Liam and a few others that you can find here.

The miniature summary is as follows:

When his father suddenly passes, twenty-nine-year-old Liam Payne is brought back to the Sydney suburbs where he grew up.  He doesn’t plan on seeing his childhood best friend, Zayn Malik, at the burial service.  They haven’t spoken since going from brothers to strangers one fateful day fifteen years prior.  But Zayn puts an end to this when he approaches Liam after the burial, offering his condolences and asking if Liam can help his archaeological research team with photographing their newest project.  The unexpected closeness forces each man to wade through uneasy emotions.  For Liam, a mixture of grief, lost identity, and confusion over why he’s willing to interact with the one person he swore he’d never forgive.  And for Zayn, a tidal wave of anxiety that comes from finally facing a part of himself he’s always chosen to deny.  When We Were Younger is a story heavily rooted in blurred identities and exploring what loss can look like in two different scenarios: death and friendship.

For obvious reasons, their names will be changed.  Liam, to Hutton.  Zayn, to Cairo (his ethnicity will also be changed to Egyptian).  As you can see, it was meant to be my big ‘enemies to lovers’ fic.  Technically, it’s ‘best friends to enemies to lovers’, but you know.

Right, so what does this mean for me going forward?

I still have so much inspiration when it comes to writing Zayn and Liam as characters.  I don’t plan on putting a complete stop to writing them, but with my career taking this large of a turn, I do have to prioritise my time.  That said, as of now, I can’t afford to write long-form fic any longer.

Soon, I’ll be starting a PhD program where I’ll be writing another full-length novel for mass publication.  For fun, here’s a little insight on the two ideas that I’ll be pitching:

1.  Underground boxer (loosely based off Liam) falls in love with arms gang leader (loosely based off Zayn).  Throughout their love story, the latter has to outrun the psychological trauma his father (the leader of Zayn’s rival gang) still throws his way. 

2.  Cold War AU.  Paris, circa 1950/51.  Ambassador’s son (loosely based off Liam) befriends new student (loosely based off Zayn) at the international school.  Paris is a ticking time bomb; war is about to break out at literally any second.  The two clearly have feelings for each other, but can’t act on them because homosexuality in the 1950s...yikes.  When war does break out, the two are separated, and as Liam’s character goes out to find Zayn’s, he learns a secret of his that changes everything.

Whichever I don’t write for the PhD will be the novel I write following it.

In the meantime, I’m going to continue to write (and edit) like crazy.  Ever since I randomly wrote C451, there hasn't been a day that’s gone by where I haven't written something.  It may have only been a paragraph or two, but never zero.  This is how you get better.  This is the equivalent of going out and shooting free throws for 30 minutes a day.  You have to put in the work in order to get better.  I'm very lucky that I'm incredibly self-disciplined and I've been able to crank out as many stories as I have over the past 2 years.

That said, I’ll be writing shorter little oneshots.  I have several ideas that I’ve been sitting on, but haven’t ever thought to write because I HATE writing short stories.  Little ideas that don't have huge plotline/climax potential, but that I want to just see on paper, I'll probably end up writing.  If I had to guess, I'd say they'll come out to around 10-15k.  Also, sequels?  Prequels?  Haha, you never know...

I’ve also got a series called “Sleep Drabbles” that are, yes, you guessed it, a series of drabbles based around one theme: sleep.  I also have a few scenes that I want to write which are based on ziam’s kids, not actually ziam themselves.  If there’s enough demand for that, I can upload those too, but they’re quite niche, so I don’t think the general fandom would be very interested.

As far as frequency for all of this, I have no idea.  I’ve always done things at my own pace and written stories that I want to write, for myself.  That won’t ever change, so I don’t want to commit to one drabble a week or one short-length fic per month.  It takes me weeks (months for this last fic) to research and interview the necessary people to get character arcs correct/believable.  I love that part of writing, and so if I have a little story that I want to write that may only be 10k but takes me ages to put together how I want, then so be it.  I will always be around to answer asks/messages and please, continue to tag me in your writing tag posts!  But please, no prompts.

So, that’s my future with fic.

Again, I cannot say thank you enough to every single one of you.  Every single thing that people tag me in (@malik-payne , @zqua1d , @zentiment , @liamisthesun , @redyellowberry I’m looking at you), I appreciate and love!  The recommendation lists that people have put me on, THANK YOU!  It’s wild to think that I used to look to rec lists for years and now I’m on them.  @ziamfanfiction THANK YOU for always having my back with exposure!  @paynefulperiods , my beloved beta reader, THANK YOU for always encouraging me and putting up with shit first drafts.  @march-z5 , THANK YOU for always being on call for ideas and listening to me bang my head against the wall at 4 am.

Now, might fuck around and make a fake picspam for the fic that never was...

Also, all of the behind scenes pages for each of my fics are now public, so feel free to check those out here.

I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for making this journey possible. I know people say that a lot when they gain a following of any sort, but I truly truly mean it.  You have to have talent in order to be an author, but you also have to have people who want to read your stuff.  Proof of concept is a real thing.

So thank you a million times over.

Speak soon my friends.

[beepiesheepie]

the tf2 mercs and what atla elements they’d bend cause you follow me and you signed up for my ramblings

this is literally gonna be that meme or mike wazowski hunched over and mike and that slug lady are looking at him like ‘wtf’. also these thoughts will not leave my brain until i write them down so feel free to ignore.

Scout: Airbender, hands down. Just look at him, look at everything he is and look at everything air represents. He’d likely be a rogue/non-monastery  airbender cause he’s so self absorbed and worldly attached that he can’t follow their customs (which also makes him a weaker airbender by default, why? see Kyoshi’s mom). Air is the element of freedom, fun, and humor, and just look at Scout, its his most defining traits. Imagine this kid just zipping around on the battlefield with a huge cloud of dust following him, or using a glider to fly in some way. He absolutely would.

Soldier: At first I thought he’d be a non bender, but then I began to think it over, and fire is what kinda bender he’d be (if he was one, he could still be a non bender). Fire is the element of power and passion, and not only can it become wild or unhinged in the wrong hands but it can be very destructive. That fits Soldier’s bill pretty well, he’s a passionate man of raw power. You could also make the argument he’s an Earthbender, what with his and its elements of machismo, courage, and physical strength, which Soldier is not lacking in. He could maybe bend lava if he was an Earthbender, and I don’t see him as a metalbender- metalbenders go through some form of major display of strength, something that forces them to be stronger than they are and work harder (see: Toph discovering metalbending and Toph teaching her metalbending students in the comics). Overall I’m pretty mixed on Soldier, but it is cool to imagine him using fire to blast himself upward or normally rocket jumping but when he comes down there’s a big wave of rocks going everywhere. If you have thoughts I’d love to hear them. Overall he’s more likely to be a fire or non bender in my eyes, non especially. (Imagine him going “I don’t need to throw fancy rocks or toss fireballs to shove this boot up your ass.”)

Pyro: It’s literally in the fucking name, its right there, their entire being, pyro. Firebender, hands down. Considering how mysterious Pyro is already I don’t know what else to say about them, but from my own personal vibes, I think they’d draw firebending from life, energy, passion, etc.

Engineer: I think this man’s an Earth and Metalbender, he’s courageous, strong physically (how else do you lift all those damn toolboxes), and generally a down to earth kinda guy. And of course he metalbends cause it’s Just A Very Engineer Thing. Also imagining this tiny lil dude earthbending massive rocks is really cool.

Heavy: Now hear me out. Waterbender. Yeah Heavy is a big dude, yeah he’s strong and masculine and powerful and huge and all that, but people forget- he’s a man of family. He has three sisters and a mom and they were shoved into a gulag at a young age. He’s also smart and has a PhD in Literature. He’s smart, and family oriented, and gets along with his team in game and out of the game. He protects and is a wall for those he cares about, which is a huge trait of waterbending. Feel free to share your own thoughts, I’d love to hear em.

Demoman: Tbh I don’t have that much on him. he strikes me as a nonbender, as a real Sokka kinda guy where his brains and strategic mind shine as a replacement for his no bending. Sticky traps and planning projectile arcs or using demoknight is a huge part of strategy when playing him. Also, combining alcohol and firebending never sounds like a good idea.

Medic: You’d think he’d be a waterbender cause of healing right? Lmao no this man gives 0 fucks for anyone near him, that’s a surface level analysis. This man strikes me as a nonbender. He heals using what he’s got and he doesn’t need no bending to magically fix things. Sweat and blood prevail.

Sniper: Also a nonbender. Doesn’t strike me as any of the four elements in any particular way, other than maybe air or water. Don’t have much thoughts on him either.

Spy: Oh my god I am so torn. On the one hand, he’s Scout’s father, and also imagine him as another rogue airbender, or maybe an ex monastery airbender so he has tattoos? Him being an airbender is solely for the rule of cool factor. On the other hand he could also be a nonbender, but having all the support classes be nonbenders is a bit disappointing. On the OTHER hand though, and I expect controversy for this, waterbender. He’s not the most community oriented, in fact he hates everything he works with, but this man absolutely would not hesitate to use bloodbending if it meant the job’s done stealthily, also, he has a weapon in the game that’s an ice spike. Not a lot of reasons for waterbending here I just think it’d be cool

Ok rant’s over I’m gonna eat a pint of ice cream ok byeeeeee

[choicescreen]

NEW YORK AVATARS. when this city came alive, a small group of people were chosen to represent it. 

bronca sinawoy. butch lesbian. sixty-eight. lenape.THE BRONX. hot-tempered. fuck around and find out. she was at stonewall when she was seventeen, the alcatraz occupation when she was eighteen, heavily involved in aim all throughout her twenties and thirties, soothed aids patients when their families and nurses didn’t, and somehow had the time to get her phd in art history. she runs an art center in the bronx, and is about to be a grandmother. as the oldest of the avatars, she works as the knowledge holder, and can tell you anything you need or want to know about her city. (i write her, so she goes first.)

the primary. queer. twenty-one. black. NEW YORK CITY. a homeless artist, the avatars are in search for this enigmatic young man throughout the events of the novel. 

manny. bisexual. late twenties. black. MANHATTAN. he loses most memory of his former life, representing his role as a new new yorker. he is a somewhat ruthless strategist. he can allow non-avatar new yorkers to see the enemy if he needs to use them. 

brooklyn “mc free” thomason. heterosexual. fifty-two. black. BROOKLYN. former rapper, lawyer, and current city councilwoman. she has a middle school aged daughter and a sick father. her power is rooted in music. bronca called her out for homophobic lyrics back in the 80s once she realized who she was, something she apologized for.

padmini prakash. lesbian. twenty-five. tamil. QUEENS. graduate student. her power is rooted in mathematical imagination that can change physical reality. she’s bubbly and a little awkward, but very intelligent and quick-witted once she believes in herself. 

aislyn houlihan. heterosexual. thirty. white. STATEN ISLAND. lives with her parents. her father is an abusive, racist cop who calls her “apple”. she can become invisible. she’s involved in n*zi bullshit, so she’s a villain and everyone rightfully fucking hates her. she joins the side of the enemy, eventually. 

OTHERS. cities already born, side characters, and enemies. 

mr. hong. none of your fucking business. appears late fifties, actually much older. chinese. HONG KONG. chinese-inflected british accent. smokes, but doesn’t like it, representing the smog and pollution of his city. kind of an asshole. never not seen in a suit. told bronca to “fuck off” when she told him he couldn’t smoke in a specific area, so he’s got brass balls. 

paulo. bisexual. appears early thirties, actually late thirties. brazilian. SÃO PAULO. due to him being the last city “born”, paulo was saddled with the responsibility of helping new york be “birthed”. the only city “born” in this side of the world. also a major smoker, which he can use to combat enemies and other … eldritch horrors.

veneza. bisexual. trans. twenty-four. black and portuguese. NEW JERSEY. works with bronca at the bronx art center. sees bronca as a mother figure.

the enemy. ageless. UNKNOWN. an infectious, otherworldly lifeform that wants to kill the newly born city of new york. it appears in many forms, including the woman in white (basically a karen girlboss stereotype), dr. white, contagious fungal fronds, and x-shaped spider-like creatures. 

[fractallogic]

okay we heard all about my Issues on monday. we are having a pretty similar start today. I do not like this.

WHO IS SENDING ME ALL THESE BAD FUCKING VIBES RIGHT NOW. I NEED YOU TO STOP.

TA doesn't show up for our meeting this morning, either time that it could plausibly be scheduled, and also doesn't send an email saying "hey I'm here on campus and you're not??"

she's trained to be a special and particular kind of TA, so she presumably understands that communication is important and isn't the kind of student who would go "huh prof isn't here oh well I guess"

okay then, I guess I'll do something to the course's Canvas site since jesus fuck the first "meeting" is on monday and the canvas site is blank

...Canvas is down. 502 bad gateway error. goddammit.

but fine. I'll do my final page number check and maybe we can submit this paper today. that would be great. I desperately want to stop thinking about it (mostly due to Other Postdoc).

Other Postdoc said that she had finished a final run-through yesterday morning. then a grad student also finished a read-through. great. it should be finalized.

Other Postdoc, it turns out, had been making contentful edits until 6 PM last night

OTHER POSTDOC STOP FUCKING WITH THE PAPER CHALLENGE 2K22. WHEN YOU'RE DONE, STOP TOUCHING IT AND BE DONE.

I send a testy message to the slack channel for this paper. grad student immediately goes into the doc. fine. good. let's just get this done today. I don't care who does it as long as it's not Other Postdoc. jesus christ.

ORDINARILY I would move on immediately to the next item on my to-do list, which is... re-review a paper.

it seems Not Great to do that when I'm already fucking grumpy about writing with other people being like herding cats.

there IS a third thing on my to-do list for today, which is... write job documents.

FUCK

NOTHING WILL BRING ME JOY TODAY

I CAN'T GET DONE A SINGLE THING I WOULD LIKE TO GET DONE TODAY

writing job docs is one of the most pointless-feeling, annoying, soul-sucking things I can do with my time. I hate them. I just want a job. it's been six fucking years of writing job docs and four fucking years of unstable employment post-phd. free me.

I can do them if I can ramp up to them. but starting with them?? god.

fuck it. I am going to put some pupusas in the air fryer and have them with the guacamole from the chipotle disaster on monday. I'm going to watch some TV. then maybe in an hour I'll be able to do literally ANYTHING useful with my day.