ban-joey

[ban-joey]

all the documentation for the cdc data im using for my thesis is straight up gone. lmao. for the love of god somebody start killing these people

[ban-joey]

Hunger's Bite releases 2/25, 2025!

A specter is haunting the Atlantic!

After growing up together on the luxurious SS Lark, Neeta Pandey and Emery Botwright are ready to start their lives. Emery wants to follow in his father’s footsteps and sail the Lark forever, while Neeta yearns to travel the world. But neither will have any future at all if the Lark’s new owner, Mr. Honeycutt, has his way.

Mr. Honeycutt . . . The first-class passengers adore him, while he makes the ship a nightmare for the crew. Twisted by unnatural appetites, the rich are actually transforming into something less than human, and their insatiable demands soon push the staff toward a—quite literal— burnout.

Something otherworldly is undeniably aboard the SS Lark, something horribly hungry. But it’s not Wick Farley: vampire, secret agent, and paranormal investigator. Alone and at sea, with only Neeta and Emery to help him, he must uncover the truth about Mr. Honeycutt. And fast—before a ravenous craving for power consumes them all. 

Pre-order it today!

[ban-joey]

crabs are literally being forcefemmed by barnacles every day and no one ever talks about it

[ban-joey]

"im tired of living through major historical events" is now "dear lord please let me witness a high profile political assassination in the next 1-2 years. amen"

[ban-joey]

there was a time when i was pretty critical of erotica specifically for always having characters be super vocal. i was like, not being able to have sex quietly is a skill issue/this is unrealistic. and yknow. it can certainly be excessive in things I've read. but also i just was not having good sex ever

[ban-joey]

[ban-joey]

I love it when dogs try to help but the task at hand requires zero dogs so they just kinda stand in front of you and look serious.

[ban-joey]

please watch furuhata ninzaburo it’s like if columbo was an ambush predator instead of a persistence hunter

[ban-joey]

[ban-joey]

my boyfriend & i have each had something we've been telling people about for years to convince them to give it a try with no success until meeting each other. I started listening to his favorite radio station & love it immensely, he's started listening to my favorite audiobook and likes it so much he asks me so many fun questions about it. i am across from him on the couch while he plays his silly game and the audiobook is playing on the big speaker and he keeps laughing at all the right points. i am so happy

[ban-joey]

100% atk and 0% dmg baby goat

[ban-joey]

[ban-joey]

We need to embrace the fact that the tumblr userbase is aging. What’s everybody’s favorite kitchen appliance?

[ban-joey]

easy and stress-free guide!

Turn off your brain and go one-by-one. It's so easy and much less scary than you think!

Go HERE and enter your zip code

Pick up your phone, and call anybody listed as a representative, not a senator

You'll be asked for some identifying information. that's normal! you need to be their constituent.

Say the following:

And you're done!

It's that easy, and the person you'll be talking to will just be a kindly older lady or a tired intern. And the best part? They have to listen to you if you call!

Do not assume others will do this for you.

[ban-joey]

I Am A Cat - a short comic

This is a comic based on an actual event from my childhood that's been seared into my memory ever since.

[ban-joey]

me: uh oh! if i fail to block any more of these spells, the evil wizard will take over my mind and make me suck him off!!! i need to be careful, i can feel it working already...

the evil wizard trying to blow my head off with lightning bolts: that's not what I'm trying to do