#also i don’t like how people think chinese food is poor people food and not high quality and full of cultural significance. u can’t say you

[pupkou]

can we come together as a community and be honest with ourselves .. because i’m tired of seeing everything turned into an egg roll. not everything needs to be an egg roll

[kyndaris]

A Jaded Bookstore

A week or so after my date with Spring, I met up with bachelor number 6. Tall, Caucasion, with a head of wild unruly curls and younger than me by four years, he was the only one to offer the date that I’d been craving from the start. A first date at Kinokuniya - the Japanese bookstore in the heart of the city. So, you can imagine the dilemma I found myself in. How could I say ‘no’ to books? Even if the date turned out terribly, it was simply impossible to tear myself away from the bait that had been lain before this bookworm.

Not that there were any immediate red flags when it came to Mr 6 - who shall henceforth be called Benoit. Plus, it was going to be a date in the middle of the day AND it was in a populated store. No chance of being brutally murdered. I hoped.

Benoit met me outside the store. Or, at least he tried to, but since I’m a slippery eel of a bookworm, I’d managed to sneak in and head to my favourite section: Fantasy and Science Fiction. After looking through a few titles, I saw a notification on my phone and responded sheepishly that I had slipped into the store but would try to meet him at the entrance. Once introductions were properly made, we resumed roaming the shelves of my favourite genres and chatted generally about our lives.

Much of the conversation devolved into him - Benoit - asking me a few questions and me responding. Once I had finished, I often had to remind myself to reverse the question and learn more about him as well. You know, simple getting to know each other stuff. A dance one would think I’m already aware of having gone on quite a few first dates.

Alas, I can see why people want to skip the small talk.

Regardless, somehow the conversation came round to Rian Johnson’s Knives Out film. It was probably because I was recounting how utterly disappointing Amsterdam was. In any case, we both expressed our delight at the upcoming Glass Onion film (yes, this was in early November 2022. I know the post is up in February 2023 but give a girl a break when it comes to detailing the adventures of her love life, will you?), even as we strolled through the Fantasy and Sci-Fi section for several long minutes as I pondered what books to buy.

Was I disappointed that he didn’t offer to buy my books for me? A bit. But in our current economy (or the economy of November 2022), it didn’t feel appropriate to demand such favourable treatment. Especially when Benoit was still studying to be a speech pathologist. 

Can you imagine? Truly? Me, the woman was raking in more dough - albeit saddled with a hefty mortgage - requesting a poor penniless University-aged boy (okay, they probably aren’t that destitute nor is the world so Dickensian) to buy me gifts on the first date? It just wouldn’t be fair. 

After all, I’m a strong independent woman who don’t need to man. Except maybe Henry Cavill’s depiction of Geralt of Rivia. Or Viggo Mortensen’s portrayal of Aragon?

Phew! When did it get so steamy in here? And what was I talking about again?

Ah, that’s right. The date with Benoit. So, because we both liked our mystery thriller films and Benoit himself was fascinated by accents, especially the ridiculous one affected by Daniel Craig, his codename was formed.

Once I had roamed my fill, I walked away with two novels. Benoit, too, had also picked out a novel he had been eyeing for a while. Jade City by Fona Lee. Apparently he, like a bookish online friend that I know who reads this blog but doesn’t like or comment on these posts, had also fallen for quite a few Chinese authors and was also dabbling with their online works. He also heaped quite a bit of praise on Cixin Liu and the Three-Body Problem. 

It’s probably a sign that I ought to buy a few of his novels and give them a spin myself. See what the fuss is all about.

By the time we had shopped to our hearts content, our stomachs were grumbling for food. Eager to have a variety of options for lunch, we headed towards Pitt Street Mall and the food court on the upper levels rather than the one down underneath Myers. After all, this was a first-rate date. It needed to be fancy. No expensive McDonalds burgers for us!

Though Benoit was able to settle for a karaage rice bowl, I was less decisive with my food options. It wasn’t after a few minutes of looking through everything that was on offer before I settled on going Greek and grabbed a pita wrap from Zeus Street Greek.

FANCY!

And just like our conversation in the bookstore, Benoit would ask me question after question. I suppose the one thing I felt could have been better was if he allowed some topics to breathe. Instead of dissecting more on the lore of World of Warcraft, he would jump to the number of pets I had rather than allow for a sizable rant about what the writers had done to poor Sylvanas character and the blatant favouritism shown to the Alliance over Horde leaders.

Not that I’ve played World of Warcraft much over the years. I’ve dabbled with it but each new expansion seems to retcon backstory or walk back character developments so quick as to give anyone that wants to follow the lore whiplash.

Regardless, I learned that he had an older sister that had gotten him invested into the Warcraft universe, that he wasn’t much of a comic reader and that he had gone back to university to pursue something he was passionate about instead of coasting on his first degree that had proven to be less than enjoyable.

Once lunch was done, we even had pancakes at gram!

Big fluffy pancakes that left me stuffed and unable to move.

But as with all good things, the date had to come to an end. As we both took the train, we headed to the closest train station. And as we said our goodbyes, Benoit leaned over and gave me a hug before I could duck out of the way! The sheer nerve of the man! How dare he! 

Still, trying to be polite, I patted him awkwardly on the back and so, the date concluded.

While I like to keep an open mind, a part of me wonders if Benoit will be the one. He did offer a second date to watch Glass Onion when it was in cinemas but I was busy during that time. A disappointment, to be true, but after I’d managed to catch it on Netflix, I was able to provide him with quite a few insights on what I thought about the sequel movie to Knives Out. 

Can I just say that the ending, as they were smashing the glass statues, I was honestly terrified for Helen’s feet. She was wearing open-toed sandals for goodness sake! She could have totally cut herself up if she hadn’t been careful!

Other than that, my favourite character was Peg and her ‘so done with this bullshit’ attitude when it came to dealing with Birdie. I don’t think I could ever willingly get into such a toxic codependent relationship - be it with a partner or friends - but I loved how Jessica Henwick portrayed Peg in the film. Including her outfits that weren’t quite cool enough.

Don’t get me started on the stretching in the background when everyone was still getting introduced. So good!

Long story short, I just wanted an outlet to talk about Glass Onion following everyone falling in love with Daniel Craig as the gay southern detective. And maybe ruminate on relationships? I don’t know. Probably not.

It just felt good to chat with someone that I can connect with when it came to talking about mystery who-dunnits. Now we just need Kenneth Branagh’s Hercule Poirot (I’ve honestly been loving the Murder on the Orient Express and Death on the Nile. The fact that Emma Mackey got to display her acting chops beyond Sex Education is GREAT!) to go up against Daniel Craig’s Benoit Blanc and see who is the superior scenery chewing detective with a ridiculous accent.

What? You want more? You're saying that it's not enough to just chat about something I like and that you want a deep discourse about the human condition or something something connection with another being?

Fine. Well, there’s still the second date with Spring that I can ruthlessly dissect for your reading leisure. Stay tuned to the next episode of...

DATE 2.0: The Kyndaris Story.

Yes, I’ve even added a secondary title to it. I hope you’re happy about living vicariously through my relationship failures.

[purplesurveys]

1917

Do you think the sound of rain is soothing? I do and always have.

Have you ever eavesdropped on someone's conversation? I've only ever heard bits and pieces. My attention is too short and my hearing too poor to ever follow an entire conversation.

Do you still play the slugbug no slugbug back game? I've never even heard of that.

Has anyone ever told you to grow up? I've had it said to me in a different way. There's a Filipino expression that translates to, "You're grown-up already," which is essentially a sort of real talk and you use it on someone when you want to tell them that they should already know better [about something].

Have you ever had a staring contest with a pet? xP It’s fun! Hehe, sure.

When you were little did you measure yourself a lot to see how much you grew? Not really. I liked comparing myself to my classmates, though.

Do you always win or lose at the silence game? I don't think I've played that.

Have you ever tried to read in the dark? I'm sure I have.

Have you ever felt guilty when someone close to you died? Yes. I was pissed when the group chat leaked, but had no idea Nacho would actually push through with what he did. My rash feelings will follow me for the rest of my life.

Don’t you hate it when you start to feel hungry just after you brushed your teeth? It does, but I'm over it. If I'm hungry, I just eat something and drink a bunch of water after. Take a lozenge too, if I happen to have one.

Have you ever ate a bug? I don't think I have.

Have you ever got a piece of glass stuck in your foot? Jesus no that sounds terrifying. I have dropped a wine glass and got nicked by a shard by my foot, but it didn't get stuck.

Do you think apple jacks is a good cereal? Idk, I've never heard of it nor tried it.

Do you make excuses a lot or know someone that does? Yes and yes.

Do you think pit bulls are as mean as everyone says they are? No.

Have you ever done something that gave someone the wrong impression? Many times.

Has someone ever given you something then took it back? I don't think so.

Have you ever had a wardrobe malfunction? Once.

At this age you are now, have you colored in a coloring book & had fun? I haven't done any painting/coloring since turning 26, but I've done it in my 20s and yes, it's always been fun. :)

Have you ever had a bubble bath? A few times. It takes so much time and effort though so I barely do so haha. I'd much rather shower.

When eating, are you more concerned with the taste or healthiness? Taste. I hardly think of nutrition in my food tbh, lol.

Have you ever shoved stuff under your bed to make your room look clean? Not under my bed, but I've shoved stuff in my drawers since they barely have anything anyway.

Do your fingers ever get tired from typing? Not my fingers, but my wrists can get sore.

Have you ever tried picking up an item with your foot? Sure.

What’s your opinion on sporks? It's convenient in certain situations, like when I have Chinese takeout and the main meal is on top of the rice. Otherwise, my general feeling is that I can take them or leave them.

If you had nowhere else to go, which friend of yours would let you stay over? I would guess Angela.

Do you know anyone who has been a victim of a drunk driver? No.

Don’t you hate it when people try to act like they know it all? Of course.

Are you nosy? I used to be, but I hardly care now.

Is there someone that makes your life hell? To an extent, yeah.

Have you ever been ditched by your friends? If I have, I've probably blocked it out of my head. That said, I'm sure it has happened.

If someone could see into your heart, what do you think they would see? That I am doing my best but that I am also tired.

Has someone ever snuck up on you & scared the shit out of you? Yes.

How long does it take you to brush your teeth? Anywhere between a minute and two.

Have you ever went to bed angry at someone? Yeah, I have.

Who do you call when you forget what your homework assignment is? Whoever was my closest friend or classmate in that class.

Do you interrupt people while they’re speaking? It's happened at work and it's always inadvertently so I always apologize. I'm not the type to interrupt outside of work, though.

Are you a rulebreaker? Not for the most part, no.

What would you do if you became an overnight celebrity? Put all my accounts on private and wait for the buzz to go away.

Do you know someone who can’t keep a secret? Yes.

Have you ever walked into a room & all eyes were on you? I'm sure it's happened.

What would you do if someone forbade you to see the one you love? I'd imagine I'd do everything I could to change that. I'm pretty passionate when I love someone...which is also why I don't do it anymore.

Do you believe everyone has a twin out there somewhere? No.

Have you ever felt replaced? I have.

Do you show your true colors? When I'm stressed, yes.

What would you do if your best friend was marrying someone you can’t stand? Hope that they are otherwise the perfect, non-toxic partner for my best friend.

What would you do if your car got impounded? Call my dad and ask what's going on and what's going to happen.

Do you lose your patience easily? When everything is going wrong at the exact same time, yes.

Do you think putting paper in a shredder is fun? I haven't tried doing that.

Are there any weird or creepy legends about the area you live in? I'm sure there is; I just don't know any heh, sorry.

What would you do if a skunk sprayed you? Google what to do as a remedy.

Would you drink a gallon of sour milk for $250? No thanks.

Has someone ever thrown something at you & it landed down your shirt? I don't think so.

What makes you feel sensational? I don't really know what this is trying to ask. 'Sensational' isn't something...I feel on a daily or even semi-regular basis? Haha.

What toys did you play with in the bathtub as a kid? We never had a bathtub, but we did have a tabo and balde. Those two were enough 'toys' to play with.

Do you like jumping off diving boards? I haven't tried to.

Do you follow ingredients when you cook or do you do what you think is right? I need to follow ingredients because I have no idea how to cook/bake.

Do you space out a lot? Not a lot, but it happens.

Do energy drinks make you feel jittery? I've never had an energy drink.

Do you have anything you want to confess to? I'm good, thanks.

Have you ever been to summer camp? Nope.

Do you wear name brands? A few.

Are you good at bingo? I mean it's a game based on luck, idk how you can be 'good' at bingo.

[desipubs]

Yesterday’s adventures in Desi Pubs was to visit the Crown and Pepper in East Croydon with Robin, Sue and Tudor.

Having been a little frustrated at the lack of mixed grills in London I was determined to have one last night and I did, so there will be a rating 🙂

The pub is nice and bigger than it looks from outside with an outside space and another bar area downstairs. There were 13 pumps, one of which was a cider and two were ales, Cobra also featured. There were at least eight screens - they were showing pool when I arrived before switching to cricket and then the Liverpool game.

The clientele was mixed to start and became progressively Asian before the football started. There were probably more people watching the football than eating, but there were some folk doing both.

The food was a little confusing and we probably ordered too much, but didn’t seem to have much left over (although I think Sue has lunch sorted for today). As well as Indian food there was also Chinese food available, we obviously ignored that as that was not the purpose of our visit. I saw a mixed grill on the menu so was fairly determined to order that, it wasn’t clear how big it was so I asked and was told it was for two people… as a starter… I ordered it anyway and everyone else ordered a starter and a main (and some naan). The starters were massive and each could have fed two people, the mains were a more sensible time. We know for next time.

The Crown and Pepper’s mixed grill was badged as an Indian Platter and cost £19.50. It consisted of 4 tandoori chicken tikka, 2 tandoori masala lamb chops, 2 lamb kebabs and 4 jeera chicken wings served on onions.

You don’t always get the lamb chops on a standard mixed grill so it did feel like a medium in number of different items but I have had bigger standard mixed grills elsewhere. For components I’ll give them 1.5 points (I am feeling generous for this category but that will not be reflected in the next categories).

The chicken tikka was nice, not the greatest and just four pieces - if I was sharing this I wouldn’t be happy. 0.5 points.

The lamb chops were only slightly better than average, lots of bone and not much meat. They get 0.5 points mainly because there were two.

The lamb kebabs were the hero product on the plate. Tudor had these for starters (four pieces). Two pieces on the mixed grill was plenty, again I would have been miffed at giving one up if sharing. They get the maximum 1 point.

The chicken wings were fine, the jeera was not that interesting. Nothing to write home, on indeed on here, about. Just 0.25 points I am afraid.

The onions were poor, there weren’t many and they didn’t have any meat juice. I was given a very small portion of minty sauce which wasn’t that exciting. The onions and condiments are sharing a point in my scoring scheme, together they can have 0.25 points here.

£19.50 was expensive for what it was, but it was London. However I am no longer a Londoner but a West Midlander so just 0.25 points for the price point.

13 pumps, including two ales, a cider and Cobra earns them the maximum 1 point for the beer side of things.

The ambiance with the screens, football, clientele and the pub being nice means they get the maximum 1 point for this section too.

The total for the Crown and Pepper is 6.25.

The Crown and Pepper is at 242 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1NF. They also have another ‘branch’ at 32 Godstone Road, Caterham, CR3 6RA.

[morgansmornings]

The days were slow. As to be expected since it was still the beginning of the semester. The days were almost the same. Get up, dressed, walk, Jenna, drop her off at the doggy daycare, go to class. Meet with the study group after, get dinner, pick up Jenna from the daycare, check the mail. Come back and check if her roommate was in. Changes into her pyjamas and then does her homework as she eats. She made sure that she only had five days a week of classes. The other two were days off to enjoy life if she wasn’t busy with the class work. 

When she gets a letter back and notes the sender she smiles. One that is small but hopeful. Heading up she follows her pattern. Setting out the Chinese and the Currywurst between two plates and then bringing the Chinese to Beth’s desk. She knew her friend was due home in the next ten minutes. Settling into her room with Jenna happily munching on a dinner of her own. SHe pries the envelope apart and takes out the letter. At first she was expecting a repeat, but gets a pleasant surprise when she gets a proper response. 

She reads it once, some more of her dinner while she watches the pup spin in circles before flopping over onto her side. Head resting on the hardly used expensive dog bed. Rubber ball pinched between stubby curved teeth. She reads it again, thinking on what the sender tells her from the past. Worries at a piece of chicken as she thinks about what he means by causing them problems. A brow raised when she figures it out. 

“He or she says you’re beautiful, Jen.” She says to the puppy who snorts in response. Jayden isn’t sure if Jenna answered or was asleep. The writer brings up a good point. A deal or sorts with proper weight. She had said that she wanted honest conversation. She would give just that. She does laugh when the matter of talking to the third parties is brought up, and she would concede that that was a fair trade. 

A new legal pad is pulled from her nightstand, her writing pen pulled out next as she props herself against the headboard. From the living room she can hear Beth come in. 

“My penpal wanted me to tell you that they say hello. Also there is food on your desk. I hope that the teriyaki was the right choice.” Jay relays the greeting,calling out to be heard through the apartment. Having already explained the facts about her extracurricular exchange. She hears Beth say something between the clatter of a backpack and the clinking of a fork on the plate. Her attention turned back to the pages on her lap. 

Dear Sender, 

I figured that they would read our correspondence. I know this may seem strange to you, but I think that this could be a start to when you eventually get released. Think of this as just a small step into furthering that along. I want to be the bridge that helps others adjust back into society. Like you if I ever get that chance in the future. Though I hope that you don’t end up getting problems back.

Opinions that start with this; Despite what people say you are not an animal. You are a person and should be treated like one. That and to be shown that despite your deeds, there is a chance to make a better life for yourself at the end of this. I will take knowing that I could be of hopeful help to you in that. 

Tell me about them. How many do you have? What are their breeds? 

I don’t have any siblings. Though my mother has brought up adopting once I graduate and move to the next stage in my life. I can only imagine how hard this was for her. I could have lived with her, but I wanted to strike out on my own. Or well, not taking advantage of her love. Plus the one time I introduced Jenna to her cats the poor thing jumped up onto the dining table and cried for me to rescue her from them. It was endearing as it was funny. 

I do consider my roommate and her brother as close as I will ever get. She is studying medicine. Her brother is in the military. He is pararescue, drops from the sky into active battle zones to save injured soldiers. I think he is either incredibly brave and stupid for wanting to jump out of a perfectly good working and safe aircraft. I could never bring myself to that. Not out of being scared of heights, but the feeling of falling keeps me safe on the ground. 

I eat a bit of everything. America being the melting pot of cultures that opened the door to a lot of culinary expansion. I do have a peanut allergy though, so that does limit what I am able to eat. Tonight I am having  Currywurst. Peanut free and one of my personal favourites. 

I did tell her you said hello. I think she returns the greeting though it is hard to understand Hawaiian Pidgin when it is spoke through a mouthful of fried rice.

With hopes that this finds you in decent health, 

     Jayden, Jenna, and Beth. 

Once she places her letter in a new envelope she places it on her dresser next to Jenna’s leash. A small reminder to take it down with them in the morning on their way to their walk. With that done she heads to the kitchen to do up the few dishes that are there before she starts the next set of chapters to get a head start in her classes.

Post came to Ron like it always did - opened unsubtly, slid through the dinner hatch in his cell door along with whatever passed as lunch today. He hazarded a guess it was some kind of stew with a side of pallid, over-cooked veg and packet mash, but none of that observational bollocks mattered for shit. There were rats in the yard he'd rather eat than throw this crap down his gullet. They were sneaking shit into it - pills or something, maybe the poison for the rats - he'd swear blind. Just like they were coming into his cell of a night and staring at him while he slept. Bazza didn't believe him; had threatened him with a shrink, so he'd stopped talking about it. It, like his incarceration, were just to be suffered.

So.

Post.

Ron read the baby shrink's letter carefully, adding notes between its lines and in its margins as he went. It wasn't a lack of reading comprehension that had him at it. He'd just picked up the habit somewhere between rolling a fag and pinching a lighter on day and it'd stuck like gum to a shoe. Once he'd got through the lot, he pulled a piece of lined paper out from under the post pile and got to scribbling.

DEAR JAYDEN,

The difference in print quality between this offering and the first where he'd been fixed on writing between her lines was stark, but was not indicative of any kind of aggressiveness of manner -- like a FULL CAPS text message might be. There was no raised voice amid the pencil lines. Rather an unpractised hand when not working to fit small letters into small places with another's - Jayden's - handwriting as a guide.

I Got your LETTER already opened. Bazza's Been in it. I Believe you. Criminal MINDS Just are not interesTING to me. I Do not KNOW why you want to talk to one. But That is Your choice. They do not let Monsters write letters. You won't hear off people that hurt Kids. I cause THEM people problems. As I should. Bazza knows about ThAT.

Don't you Bazza.

What opinions have You GOT about Dogs in windows? Getting cross is Hard in letters. Write Your mind. I might write mine back Noisy on the wing today. Anyway. Your JeNNa is beautiful. It is nice you can keep her. My Dogs were never long HAIRED. They are with my aunt for now. Until I get out. Until I finish my sentence. That is my Now. I am not allowed Roommates. Never had one in My life. Only brothers, which Is Different I think. Do you have Them too?

The faint scent of lunch caught in Ron's nose; inspired a last line.

What do you eat in America? Food here is awful.

Then, a sign-off-

327416

-and, like Miss Jayden had (indeed because Miss Jayden had), a postscript.

P.S. You talk to My Screw, I do to your roommate. Tell them Hello.

With that, Ron's sheaf of lined paper was folded in half, put into the opened envelope Jayden's had arrived in and pushed back through the hatch in his cell's door along with the 'lunch' they were trying to feed him. It was the first meal he'd rejected wholesale this month, so Bazza - in swift receipt of both untouched meal and letter - wasn't overly concerned. This was getting to be a pattern with Kray though, so he'd keep a special eye.

[sluttywonwoo]

take it off || k.mg x reader

Pairing: mob!mingyu x fem reader

Summary: as much as you hate to admit it, jealousy looks good on your fiancé 

Warnings: swearing, light smut (18+)

Word Count: 1.8k

a/n: reworked this old blurb originally posted on my tom holland fic account ( @wazzupmrstark )

Masterlist

“Mingyu, slow down,” you said with a sigh, trying not to roll your eyes.

“What was he thinking?” Mingyu spat, not acknowledging what you had just said. He gripped the steering wheel even harder.

You watched as his knuckles began to turn white and rubbed his arm soothingly. “Baby, take a deep breath. Relax.”

He just shrugged you off and cursed at the car in front of him.

“Don’t fucking tell me to relax.”

“It’s not a big deal, Gyu.”

He actually turned his head towards you and looked at you this time. “You’re joking.”

You shrugged sheepishly. “I’ve had worse.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

You winced, knowing you’d probably made it worse and that Mingyu was likely now picturing the grimy hands of ill-intentioned strangers all over your body.

“I should have him killed,” he snarled.

To most, that threat would sound completely ridiculous or utterly insane, but your fiancé was the head of the Seoul mob-the South West branch anyway- and he was no stranger to violence. Having someone killed would be as easy as snapping his fingers.

You scoffed to call his bluff.

“You think I won’t?” he challenged and you groaned.

“You promised you were done with that.”

It’s true, one of the conditions of your engagement had been that Mingyu agree to put the more sinister side of his business to rest, and although you trusted him, in all honesty, you weren’t sure how well he was upholding his end of the deal.

“I’d make an exception.”

“Well don’t. I don’t want some poor guy’s blood on my hands.”

At that, the car screeched to a stop right in the middle of the freeway. The cars behind you honked and flashed their lights at Mingyu as they maneuvered to avoid a collision.

You huffed in frustration, wanting to bang your head against the dashboard. This was exactly why you didn’t like for Mingyu to drive himself: he pulled dangerous shit all the time like this. Literally, all of his other men had drivers who took them places and you desperately wished Mingyu would hire someone, but he insisted that it was safest if he was the one driving (yet here you were in the middle of the highway).

“You could’ve fucking killed us!” you shouted, more annoyed than anything.

Mingyu took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. But y/n, he’s not just some poor guy.”

“He was trying to get a rise out of you, Gyu. He fucking hates you, of course, he’d go after me, and he was drunk.”

Mingyu narrowed his eyes at you, foot still pressed firmly on the brake. “That’s not a fucking excuse, you of all people should know that. Why are you trying to defend him?”

“I’m not trying to defend him, I’m just saying he doesn’t deserve to die. Can we please just get home?”

Mingyu relented and put the car back into motion making you breathe a sigh of relief.

Even though he didn’t say anything else you could tell his mind was still going a thousand miles a minute. You watched him chew at his lip in silence and wondered what was going on in that beautiful head of his. Nothing good, you could be sure of that.

Mingyu’s mind was darker than most. Occupational hazard. He carried so much pain that you hadn’t known about when you first met him. He’d let you in slowly, keeping you at arm’s length for months, until he almost lost you. And then he knew he couldn’t keep things from you anymore. It was still a challenge to understand his thought process sometimes, but you liked it that way. How could a ruthless, power-hungry mobster also be the most loving, family-oriented person you’d ever met in your life? How could someone who dropped a grand on a dinner like it was nothing secretly rather spend one more night picnicking with crappy Chinese food on the bedroom floor in your old apartment? You couldn’t think of an answer, and you didn’t want to.

The guy at the bar tonight had been some rival of Mingyu’s. You hadn’t seen him before, but you could tell because when Mingyu got up to get the two of you more drinks he swooped in and laid it on heavy. He looped one arm around your waist and placed his other hand on your knee and began attempting to seduce you. Sure, you were uncomfortable but more than anything you were angry. And tired. Tired of being used as bait, something to get to Mingyu.

You didn’t want to make a scene so you listened to the asshole talk about how much better he’d treat you than Mingyu until your fiancé eventually returned with your drinks in hand, face beet red, eyes dark with anger.

The man, you never caught his name, left the bar with a broken nose. Mingyu left with bruised knuckles. You’d thought it would end at that, but of course, once Mingyu got started it was hard for him to stop. It was a gift in the bedroom, but a curse in the rest of your life.

Then, so softly you almost didn’t hear it, Mingyu broke the silence in the car and said “I know what he said to you,” and it all clicked.

Normally, a hand on your shoulder, thigh, ass was enough to set Mingyu off, but combine that with the filthy words he’d undoubtedly overheard spilling from the man’s lips… no wonder all he could see was red.

“Mingyu, I-“

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want to start something.”

“Start something? Is that true? Or do you think he’s right?”

“No, of course not.”

“Do you think he can satisfy you better than I can?”

“Mingyu!”

“Well do you?”

You shook your head and rubbed your thighs together, fighting a shiver. As irritating as Mingyu’s jealousy could be, the effect it had on you was even more infuriating. The man could already turn you on without doing anything and whenever he started acting a little jealous it was game over for you. It was pathetic, really.

“Why the fuck did he even think it was okay to look at you, let alone touch you?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged finally settling in to play the game. “These big dudes with huge muscles just think they can have whoever they want.”

Mingyu whipped his head back towards you. “What did you say?”

You ignored him. “I mean he definitely wouldn’t be as good as you, but he could do some damage.” Mingyu was full-on glaring at you now, and you wanted to tell him to keep his eyes on the road, but you couldn’t give up so fast. “I mean, just one of his hands could probably wrap around my whole neck. Like they were giant, and you know what they say about guys with big hands-“

“Do you think this is funny?”

Any sane person wouldn’t even think about taunting Mingyu like this, not with his reputation, but you couldn’t be sane to be with someone like Mingyu anyway, and besides, you knew he was a big softie at heart.

“A little,” you admitted. “You look really hot right now.”

He really did. His hair was tousled with silver highlights from the moonlight streaming in through the windshield, his tan skin was flushed with adrenaline, and his white button-up was unbuttoned just a few times to show off his collarbone. You bit your lip. You were so fucking weak.

“That’s not going to work.”

“No?” You quirked an eyebrow and leaned over the console to see that he was already more than half hard in his dress pants. “Because it looks like it’s working.” You reached over and began to palm him through his trousers, smirking when he cursed and rolled his neck at the contact.

“Y/n, if I have to pull over, you’re not going to be able to walk for the next week.”

Oh no, that’d be horrible you thought to yourself and rolled your eyes. He had to know that’s what you secretly wanted, right? Right? Why were men so stupid?

Either way, you took your hand back and moved it up under the hem of your dress to where you were feeling a little desperate for some friction. You sighed deeply when you rubbed yourself over your panties, not even surprised at how wet you were.

“Fuck,” you hissed out and hiked your legs up onto the seat so you could give Mingyu a better view.

“Stop that.”

He said it so forcefully that you froze, fingers hovering over your panties, about to pull them to the side. Then you smiled.

“No.” You went ahead and did it anyway, slipping two fingers inside of yourself easily.

You weren’t one to defy Mingyu often, especially when it came to what he asked of you in the bedroom, but you knew how crazy it drove him and just couldn’t resist.

Mingyu groaned, trying and failing to maintain an angry expression. His eyes betrayed an absolutely sinful lust that made you want to melt and you wished more than anything he’d just pull the fucking car over.

“Fuck, Gyu,” you gasped, “I wish these were your fingers, you’re so good with your fingers.”

“Yeah? You sure you wish they’re my fingers? Not someone else’s?”

You shook your head vigorously. “Never. You’re the only one who knows how to make me cum that hard.”

“Is that what you want? To cum hard?”

“God, yes,” you moaned, pumping your fingers in and out of you faster.

“Take off your dress.”

“What?” you weren’t sure if you’d heard him right, you were still driving down the highway after all.

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

Not wanting to push your luck any further you didn’t hesitate to listen this time and pulled the loose fabric up and over your head.

“Good girl,” he praised and you whined. You were still wearing your bra and underwear and as much as you’d love to flash oncoming traffic, you hoped Mingyu wouldn’t ask you to take them off.

“You can touch yourself,” he said and you complied, knowing it was more of an instruction than an allowance.

It felt good, really good, but you still wished it was him instead of you.

“Fuck, darling you look so beautiful like that, God, I can’t believe I get to marry you.”

“If, you stop, killing people,” you managed to get out through gritted teeth and Mingyu laughed.

“I’m not going to kill him, baby. I made a promise. You’re too important to risk losing, even if he is a fucking prick.”

You whimpered, the mixture of complete head-over-heels love you felt for Mingyu and pleasure making you crumble.

“Don’t worry, baby,” he said, reaching over and taking you by the wrist, stalling your movements just as you were about to fall over the edge. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll forget you ever met that asshole.”

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[n3onguts]

pride and prejudice (05): from pinky promises to sanrio stickers.

summary — you’re definitely too old to learn a lesson about manners, but taehyun’s up for the challenge.

genre&tags — written chapter, 1k+ words, yn’s a lil cynical about luv, taehyun is introduced, a scolding occurs, there are allusions to social anxiety, and chinese food is enjoyed (as it should be!)

warning(s) — swearing

a/n — finally we get some beomgyu x y/n action, even if it’s indirect oops. also this is unedited bc i’m about to board my flight home lol my bad y’all

The weekend passes slowly.

On Saturday, your brother waxes poetic about the boy from the night prior: Kai. The name lingers like gum in Soobin’s mouth, worn-out but adamant. Kai, Kai, Kai. Kai and his pink cheeks, Kai and his pale face. Sickly-sweet and over-ripe, his longing plays on repeat throughout the whole goddamned apartment like the soundtrack to your own personal Hell. And, sure, Kai’s nice, you concede — but you’re goddamned tired of it. Wonyoung tells you, all apathetic with her trademark tough-love, too bad, just suck it up. Sunghoon merely laughs.

Sunday’s much quieter, and you prefer it this way. Barricaded in his room, all that remains of Soobin are the faint giggles which seep through his wall. You envision him to be draped across his bed, phone-cord looped around his finger, legs swinging haphazardly in the air: a quintessential portrait of an infatuated adolescent. For dinner, you order gnocchi for two; his plate goes cold as you eat alone. It makes little sense to you — repulses you, almost — how easily he’s fallen, how quickly he’s succumbed. A pretty boy arrives and, instantaneously, his self-restraint’s evaporated, just like that. Embarrassing, you think.

By Monday, you’re ecstatic to be in the company of someone other than the lovestruck dummy formerly known as your sibling. At that Chinese place near campus, Taehyun sits across you, arms folded, belly-laughing at your frustration. You pick at your stir-fry, roll your eyes as you continue to vent, “It’s not funny, Tae. It’s borderline insane. He just met the kid three days ago.”

“Love makes people weird like that. It’s unpredictable.” Taehyun shrugs. “They don’t get any say in it.”

You defer to your best friend on most things: you’d never challenge his random bursts of trivia and you pity the poor sap who has to play a game of poker against him. This time, however, you’re insistent, “Not sure if that’s true.”

A snort. “Remember when I liked your brother? Well, that definitely wasn’t my choice. Matter of fact — I hated it. Made everything so awkward, but I couldn’t help it. I was 15 and hormonal while he was 16 and abnormally tall.”

The memory is clumsy but clear in your mind: Taehyun with his head in his hands, Soobin patting his back, consoling, apologetic, everything the former didn’t want. You sigh, think it over, “Maybe. I don’t know.”

Kicking your leg under the table, he retorts, “Don’t get too cocky. You’ll be fucked when it’s your turn.”

Amidst the bright-red interiors of the space, you shoot him a pointed look, skeptical. Taehyun steals a piece of shrimp from your plate in retaliation and the two of you lapse into contemplative silence. Metals clang and glasses clink in tune with shouts from the kitchen staff, the bustling of the restaurant serving to fill the gaps in conversation. It’s always been like this between you and Taehyun, inherent and comfortable — from pinky-promises to Sanrio stickers, he’s been your confidante, your makeshift therapist, and, in return, you’ve been his self-appointed protector, pushing all his bullies into the nearest sandbox. Taehyun is considerate, rational, overflowing with kindness — everything that you aren’t. He’s got his words, you’ve got your hands, and, in the end, it’s a match made in Heaven.

“Was that thing on Friday fun, at least?”

You huff, cross your arms like a petulant 5-year-old. “Don’t remind me. It was literal ass.”

Popping a lone stalk of broccoli into his mouth, he grins, proudly displaying the bits of mushy green staining his smile: “Yum.”

“Kai’s band was, like, the only semi-okay ones there.”

“High praise from you, I see.”

“But that bar was seriously nasty. Sweaty heat, crumpled tissues on the bathroom floor, obnoxious dudes hitting on me: that sort of thing.”

“Poor thing. Too used to VIP areas and bottle service?” He quips before cocking his head, suddenly curious. “Wait, someone was hitting on you?”

“Is it that hard to believe?” You stick your tongue out at him. “It was one of Kai’s friends. Some guy named Beomgyu. He tried to, like, bond over the fact that we were both film majors. Made some stupid joke about a professor, bothered me about my night.”

“Bothered you?”

“Yeah, y’know, like, he asked me if I thought their performance was good and shit. Just trying to bait me.”

“So, how did you reply?”

“I didn’t, really.”

For a second, your best friend says nothing — just sits there, motionless, mulling over your words. Then, he’s incredulous, “Are you kidding me?”

Without any warning required, you already know you’re in for a lecture from the slow, deliberate shaking of Taehyun’s head. “What the hell did I do now?”

“Do you realize how much of an asshole you are?”

“Uh, no.” There’s little denial on your end, but you’d still appreciate some clarification nonetheless. “But tell me this at least: how come?”

“Because that guy — Beomgyu, was it? — doesn’t even sound like he was hitting on you. More likely, wanted to make a friend but was obliterated by your cold front in the process.” Taehyun’s got on this face like it should’ve been obvious, with his eyebrow quirked and his stare, withering. He points his chopsticks in your direction for added emphasis, but you’re still indignant.

“I have enough friends, thanks.”

At this, Taehyun guffaws, doesn’t even attempt to hold back his laughter. “You definitely do not. Apart from your own brother, you’re friends with 3 other people, maximum. One of which is certifiably in love with you; the other, a spoiled brat, in her own words; and the last, me, who cares for you very much but is absolutely sick of hearing your same hour-long tirade about how ‘Shrek: Forever After’ — and I quote — ‘made better use of the multiverse concept than Marvel ever did’. Like, Jesus, I get it.”

“Hey, wait — Sunghoon’s not in love with me!”

“I don’t hear any other objections, though?”

See, you want to be offended, you do, but the unfortunate reality is that he’s right. A little over 3 months into your freshman year and you’re still glued to the same people you’ve known since childhood. Thing is — you like it this way. Snug and secure in this steady little circle that you’ve bandaged yourself in, there’s no need to deal with the anxiety of the unknown, of the unfamiliar and foreign. No probability of rejection, no likelihood of embarrassment. But you think back to Beomgyu, think back to his effortless smile that betrayed no ill intentions and how it gradually sunk the longer he was with you. Then, abruptly, there’s that needling in your heart that you always try to ignore, the one that arrives whenever you’re a little too curt, a bit too blunt, sharp-tongued and inadvertently making people feel small.

In your silence, Taehyun detects hesitance, recognizes guilt. He softens up and so do you. “Look, I’m just saying — I think you know that you could’ve been nicer. Like, I love you, I do, but you’re terrible with people and it’s imperative that you outgrow that. You can’t go through life forever guarded like this.”

Sighing, surrendering, you nod, slump your body against the cushioned back of the chair, “Yeah, yeah, I know, I agree. I’m mean and I need more, better friends. Nothing new.”

“You’re too old for me to be telling you to be good.” Taehyun jokes, trying to lighten the air between you two. You offer a weak smile, but now you’re tangled in your thoughts. Chewing quietly, he watches you, eyebrows furrowed, and you conclude that, while Taehyun may not be your mother, he sure has the concern of one.

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[volkswagonblues]

a lil guide to the Fire Nation for the ATLA fic writers out there

(aka. a no means exhaustive primer on east asia by an asian person)

This is a guide for fic writers want to write a canon-era story set in the Fire Nation, or featuring Fire Nation characters. A quick little primer on the tiny details of everyday life that you might not think about, but certainly stuff that would make me, an asian person, wince if I were to encounter it. BRUSHES, not quills. CHOPSTICKS, not forks. 

(note #1: this was partly inspired by a chat with @elilim​) 

(note: #2:  I originally intended it for zukka fic writers before realizing that other writers might find it useful. so apologies for a slight Zuko-bias for that reason)

(note #3: this is all stuff i was thinking about when writing firebender’s guide, in case anyone was wondering)

1. CLOTHING

Okay, I think the most straightforward way to describe what everyone’s wearing most of the time is “tunic”. They’re all just...tunics of different colours and varieties. Later when Zuko’s the Fire Lord he wears robes. The show provides a better visual guide than I could, here are a few notes to keep in mind:

a) Japanese people wear their collars LEFT crossed over RIGHT

I don’t think this would come up in writing as much as it would in art, but it’s considered bad luck to do it the wrong way because that’s only for dead people. Let my boy Zuko demonstrate:

b) There are no buttons

This is picky, but Wikipedia says “Functional buttons with buttonholes for fastening or closing clothes appeared first in Germany in the 13th century.[6] They soon became widespread with the rise of snug-fitting garments in 13th- and 14th-century Europe.” I kinda believe it. If you look closely, characters’ clothes are always tied together or wrapped in some way with a belt. If there are fasteners, they’re braided frog closures that go into a little loop, like the qipao-style dresses women wear in Ba Sing Se, or Zuko’s casual prince’s clothes in the topmost image. Anyways, I don’t think Zuko or Azula or the Gaang would technically button or unbutton anything when they’re changing clothes. Clothing is designed to be tied, not buttoned.

[so much more under cut]

c) This isn’t a real rule, but there’s something called koromogae, or the seasonal changing of clothing in Japan.

This is something I learned when I was writing firebender’s guide, and I just liked the fun detail about there being a strict calendar for when to wear something. I liked the idea of someone like Zuko, who actually spent most of his formative years outside of the Fire Nation, coming home and just suffering mutely through the summer heat because upper class etiquette says no changing into cooler clothes until August 15. 

From My Asakusa: 

And this website:

Generally, people change from thick, heavy, dark-coloured clothes for winter to thin, lighter, bright-coloured clothes for spring and summer. In traditional Japanese culture, particularly in formal settings such as tea ceremony, it is important to acknowledge the changes of seasons—in such circumstances, not only the patterns and colours of the kimono that are worn but also the utensils and furniture that are used are required to change. By changing their clothing, people notice and appreciate the change of seasons. [Japan Foundation]

Here are some visual guides from the official creators for clothes: (notice how it’s pretty much always left over right)

2.FOOD AND EATING

a) Traditional cuisine

It seems like the most common foods in canon are Fire Flakes and meat, to the point where poor Aang had to eat lettuce out of the garbage at some point.

HOWEVER, the Fire Nation seems to basically a big subtropical archipelago, so I would guess that seafood and rice are common. If you want to write about characters eating, a. quick google for “traditional japanese cuisine” would help you come up with a menu really quickly.

Wikipedia says:

The traditional cuisine of Japan, washoku (和食), lit. "Japanese eating" (or kappō (ja:割烹)), is based on rice with miso soup and other dishes; there is an emphasis on seasonal ingredients. Side dishes often consist of fish, pickled vegetables, and vegetables cooked in broth. Seafood is common, often grilled, but also served raw as sashimi or in sushi.

But before we get too serious, at one point the Gaang eats a “smoked sea slug” (Sokka’s Master) 

Oh ATLA, never stop being you.

b) Utensils

One thing to keep in mind is chopstick etiquette. Someone like Zuko or Toph, for instance, would have completely internalized all of these.

Another thing is that there are no glasses. Cups and bowls are made of ceramic or clay. Let the Gaang show you:

And another note: characters won’t eat “bread” in the European sense, ie. a baked lump of dough. Steamed buns, yes. Fried pancakes made from batter, yes. Flatbreads, okay I’ll give it a pass. Rice or noodles should be the most common carbs of choice.

3.ETIQUETTE

“In the homeland, we bow to our elders” - angry schoolmistress in The Headband.

Japan Guide has a list of etiquette rules for visiting Japan, which is interesting but not too necessary to read. In general, based on what The Headband tells us, Fire Nation characters would have been raised with a strong nationalist curriculum that values communal contribution over individualist expression. Even someone like Zuko, who openly rebels against that, probably couldn’t help but be affected by it. In general the Fire Nation seems to have an East Asian-ish set of values. It’s patriarchal, all the positions of authority are filled by men; there seems to be a strong emphasis on patriotism; there’s a sense of diffidence and respect towards one’s elders; and finally, there’s an emphasis on “knowing” one’s place in society and fitting into what’s expected of oneself.

I don’t really know how to describe it, but in China and Japan I sometimes feel like there’s rules for everything, and even people born and raised there acknowledge it could be stifling at times. You could go down a rabbit hole researching points of etiquette (for instance, rules on who has to sit where in group dinners...), but to me the most important thing is acknowledging that Fire Nation has a rigid system of etiquette, and also, they’re an imperialist power who’s pretty prejudiced against foreigners. Poor Aang/Kuzon gets called “mannerless colony slob” just for being slow on the bowing action (!!!)

(in firebender’s guide I had a lot of fun imagining the stupid microaggressions Ambassador Sokka has to face in the Fire Nation, so obviously I’m just biased)

4.WRITING AND DESKS

Characters would probably write on paper, with a calligraphy brush. Not quills or pens -- a brush. Technically, old Japanese and Chinese texts should be written top to bottom, right to left, but the show itself doesn’t do this, so I think you’re fine. 

One fun thing about traditional calligraphy is that you don’t use bottled ink. You have something called an ink stone, and then you grind your ink yourself by rubbing the ink stone in a special little dish with a bit of water. In my (very few) encounters with this stuff in the calligraphy lessons of my youth, the ink stones can be plain or have beautiful designs on the side. It looks something like this: 

ATLA is an East Asian-ish universe, so characters are likely to be kneeling at a table, not sitting. To demonstrate, here’s my boy Sokka doing his famous rainbow at Piandao’s:

and here’s the war chamber meeting when Zuko speaks out against a general’s plans to sacrifice some soldiers:

THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS: This is Zuko’s cute little setup when he’s writing his goodbye letter to Mai. In this case he’s writing in a chair and table. It’s possible that some furniture items, like a sitting desk and a bed in a bedframe (not a bedroll or futon) are special royal palace features. Normally in a private setting we see characters sitting on the ground or on a slightly elevated platform with a low table. Maybe Caldera is just different? Or rich people are just different: the Bei Fongs also have a sit-down dining table + chair setup.

(That little rectangular box is his ink dish!!)

5.A NOTE ON GENERAL CULTURE

It’s worth talking about a few general points of East Asian culture. I can’t claim to speak for ALL of Asia, and I don’t think I should. But I do think ATLA fic writers who want to set something in the Fire Nation should take a few moments to at least skim the wiki pages for filial piety and Nihonjinron (literally, "theories/discussions about the Japanese"). There’s a certain...vibe to...asianness... that I’m not sure I can explain without like, a doctorate degree in sociology. 

It’s a bit like gender, I guess. There’s no definitive checklist to what is a woman and what is a man, and we can argue that gender is performative, that it’s a construct, but at the end of the day gender is still (tragically) real in the sense that it still shapes people and affects how we walk and talk and dress and think. Nationality is the same. Obviously, the Fire Nation is a made up place in a made up show, but out of respect to the cultures that inspired it, I do think it’s worth familiarizing yourself with some of these cultures’ codes and values.

Also, ahem, if I can direct you to war crimes in the Japan’s colonial empire. Again, worth remembering that the Fire Nation was an imperalist colonizer too.

I might do a continuation of this post and talk through my more abstract takes about Fire Nation culture - Is Zuko an example of filial piety gone right or filial piety gone wrong? Why I think Zuko’s flashbacks are like, at least part teenage melodrama bullshit (the reason is son preference), how someone like Sokka might be treated once he’s openly Water Tribe in the Fire Nation (probably with racism...), specific aspects of asian homophobia and racism, etc. We’ll see.

This is not a definitive guide. Comments and critique welcome.

If you think there’s a factual mistake, PLEASE hop in my asks and let me know. I also think there’s a huge blind spot in ATLA for South and Southeast Asian representation, so I acknowledge that I can’t speak for all Asians, and there is no such thing as a “pan-asian” identity.

If there’s something else you’re curious about, I’m not a historian or anything, but I like research. Ask me and I’ll try to answer the best I can.

And oh, one last thing, this is how I do research when I wrote firebender’s guide, in case anyone’s interested in learning more (LINK)

[teecupangel]

From @zero-saito

I love this! ❤️ Desmond isn’t just a chosen one, he is chosen by MANY ‘gods’ 😂 poor Clay is worried, I don’t think anyone would be mad at him for questioning. Assassins are supposed to question and Clay has a damn good reason to be skeptical. Clay can be the second chosen one, even if he can’t hear everyone. This kinda reminds me of twitch plays Pokémon. Thousands of people trying to play 1 game at once. WAIT…. If we can pass gifts to other people through Desmond. Does that mean that desmond can still get gifts when he’s with ancestors? Would those gifts be usable by ancestors? Or would they just cue up till he was back in the modern time?

.

“Welcome back.”

Desmond stared at Clay.

There was that tired slightly annoyed tone in his voice that Desmond only heard once before.

“Did they send something while I was reliving Ezio’s memories again?”

Clay sighed and nodded before pointing at a box as large as a small suitcase that can be used as a carry on.

But Desmond was sure it wasn’t a laptop. It wasn’t like he had any use for it.

“Was it supposed to be sent to Ezio?” Clay asked, his curiosity marred by wary.

“Nah. They can’t send things to memories I’m reliving. All of them just get sent to my location.” Desmond explained as he opened the box.

“Oh.” Clay frowned, “But they’re able to send things to this digital space…”

Desmond shrugged as a lot of voices also agreed with Clay about how strange it was that they were able to send stuff to the Animus Island when, if one things about it, it isn’t exactly a ‘real location’.

That was when [The Founder By Accident] spoke. Since [The Founder By Accident] was one of the first ones (perhaps even the first although Desmond couldn’t be sure) to speak to Desmond, their voice was easy to focus on.

“Perhaps we are connected to Desmond and not the location? Since Desmond’s ‘conscience’ is in the Animus Island, we can send gifts here.”

Another voice piped up, “But what about the past? Desmond is there too, right?”

“No, he isn’t.” [The Founder By Accident] replied in a polite almost quiet tone that contrasted their slightly deep voice, “He’s watching their memories and controlling them but he’s not ‘there’. Not like when he’s in the modern day or when he’s in the Animus Island.”

Another voice commented, “I honestly just think we can send gifts to Desmond in the segments we can control him.”

The voices was quiet for a moment before…

“Oh, yeah. That’s probably it. Yeah, you’re right.” [The Founder By Accident] said lightly and Desmond chuckled, already used to how convoluted their theories could get.

Desmond opened the box and Clay blinked before he raised his head to stare at Desmond.

“Chinese.” Clay dryly stated, “They sent you Chinese takeout.”

“God, I’ve been craving these. Thanks!” Desmond said with a grin as he handed Clay one of the boxes who was so confused he took it. Desmond opened one of the boxes and exclaimed, “Oh, sweet! They have fried rice!”

Clay just stared.

Did… did they really just send food just for Desmond???

And it just had to be Chinese takeouts???

(In the voices defense, Desmond was missing Chinese takeouts and they’re indulging him)

(ngl, I did base this on both how the Constellations interact with characters in ORV with the chaotic vibe of DougDoug’s Chat Does Stuff videos so yes, it’s like thousands of people tuning in and having a say but their control over Desmond is more on the emotional and mental side, only able to control Desmond completely by syncing with one another… like QTEs to save Lucy XD)

I've been playing AC Revelations lately, and remembered about your Ratatouille AU.

I think Desmond would be very confused, because all suspicious sounding voices should be silent in the like core of animus or whatever this place is. But he anyway hears those strange complaints about how he looked much cuter in previous parts and now he is like weathered or smth. And those simpings on old Ezio. And this comparison of Sofia and Leonardo. And intense swearing when there's no 100 percent synchronization because of THIS STUPID TEMPLAR WHO SOMEHOW MANAGED TO HIT MEE, LIKE WHAT, HE SHOULD BE LYING DEAD, BUT NOW I GOTTA RESTART THE WHOLE MISSION AGAIN WTFF (russian slurs following). Ahem. Also I feel like he would imagine that it's like his descendants or smth, so he would start to believe that he'll get out of animus very soon

The original Ratatouille AU idea

Its little brother, the “Desmond can hear us” idea

And the “I don’t know you can do that” sidestory that got sidelined by people learning that Altaïr can vault in AC1

So the idea would be the voices would suddenly be silent once Desmond wakes up in the Animus Island and he’d be confused and absolutely worried because he’s used to hearing them (especially after a lot of them suddenly showed up because [The Founder By Accident] apparently posted it or something and got a lot more people ‘playing the games’ again) so the silence was…

… worrying, to say the least.

Especially after Clay tells him where he was and what was happening to him.

And then…

Desmond started reliving Ezio’s memories…

And the moment Ezio’s voice echoed in his head “Dear Claudia…”

There’s just a cacophony of [DEAR CLAUDIA!!!!], [Best opening cinematic in the franchise <3], [Goddamn, I still get goosebumps watching this…], someone is able to actually recite the lines in Ezio’s accent as Ezio continues, and many, many more. There’s definitely a lot of them.

And Desmond could feel himself relax as he let both Ezio’s memories and their voices watch over him.

And then…

“Even if they messed up Altaïr’s actual outfit in this scene, it’s still freaking awesome.”

Ah.

[The Founder By Accident] is back.

.

Desmond immediately got used to a lot of them ‘simping’ over Ezio and the mini-debate that happened when Ezio met Sofia…

As well as the mini-debate about Suleiman being either good or opportunistic or both (and Desmond laughed at the “I can’t say anything because he has the same voice as Malik and that’s an automatic ‘yeah, he’s okay’ from me” comment from one of them).

The complaints about the ‘gameplay’ or the bugs or the synchronization requirements or… Desmond found himself being comforted even by these as these were already part of the voices’ personalities anyway.

And then…

He was back in the Animus Island and he couldn’t even focus on Clay because he’s being bombarded with voices all talking about “oh you poor boy what did they do to your face?” and “you still look good, Desmond, don’t listen to them!”.

And then…

[Play DA Everyone] goes “I know what to do!”

Clay’s eyes widened when a box suddenly appeared in front of Desmond’s feet and Desmond crouched. He opened the box and a lot of the voices went “Ooohhh” as Desmond sees it’s a vial with a message that says “Mod to Change Desmond’s Model To Be Closer To Francisco Randez” and there’s a lot of chanting of ‘drink it!’ and ‘chug chug chug’.

Desmond turned towards Clay and asked, “Do I look like I’m weathered?”

“What?” Clay looked confused by his question and Desmond simply shrugged, being used to it already.

He uncapped the vial and drank the entire thing, trusting the voices in his head as usual.

Cheers erupted all over as Desmond didn’t feel anything different.

Well…

He felt more rested than he ever had though…

And Clay could only gape as Desmond’s face changed right in front of him.

What.

The.

Fuck.

[pumpkinpaix]

Pleeeeeeease get into the class one at some point because I very much want to understand the class dynamics happening in the story but I have yet to find a meta that dives into it

god anon you want me dead don’t you alsjdfljks

referring to this post

okay, so -- my specific salt about class interpretations in mdzs are very targeted. I can’t pretend to have a deep understanding of how class works in mdzs generally because uhhhhh yeah i don’t think i have that. i’m just not familiar enough with the genre and/or the particulars of chinese class systems. but! i can talk in general terms as to why I feel a certain way about the class dynamics that I do think I understand and how I think they relate to the themes of the novel! i’m gonna talk about wei wuxian, the daozhangs, xue yang, and 3zun with, I’m sure, a bunch of digressions along the way.

the usual disclaimers: i do not think you are a bad person if you hold opinions contrary to my own. i may disagree with you very strongly, but like. this isn’t a moral judgment, fandom is transformative and interpretive etc. etc. and i may change my mind. who knows what the future will bring!

OKAY so let’s begin!

here’s the thing about wei wuxian: he’s not poor. I think because characters use “son of a servant” kind of often when they’re trying to insult him, a lot of people latch onto that and think that it’s a much stronger indication of his societal status than it actually is. iirc, most of the insults that fall along the “son of a servant” line come after wei wuxian starts breaking severely from tradition. it’s a convenient thing to attack him for, but doesn’t actually indicate anything about his wealth. (exception: yu ziyuan, but that’s a personal familial issue) this is in direct contrast to jin guangyao who is constantly mocked for his family line, publicly and privately, no matter what he does.

so this, coupled with all the jokes about wwx never having any money (wei wuqian, sizhui’s “i’ve long since known you had no money” etc.), plus his like, rough years on the street as a child ends up producing this interpretation of wei wuxian, especially in modern aus, as someone who is very class conscious and “eat the rich”. but the fact of the matter is, wei wuxian IS rich. aside from the years in his childhood and the last two years of his life in yiling, like -- wei wuxian had money and status. he is gentry. he is respected as gentry. he is treated as a son by the sect leader of yunmeng jiang -- he does not have the jiang name, but it is so very clear that jiang fengmian favors him. wei wuxian is ranked fourth of all the eligible young masters in the cultivation world -- that is not a ranking he could have attained without being accepted into the upper class.

wei wuxian’s poverty does not affect him in the way that it affects jin guangyao or xue yang. he is of low-ish birth (still the son of jiang fengmian’s right hand man though! ok sure, “son of a servant” but like. >_> whatever anyways), but for most of his life he had money. he, jiang cheng, and their sect brothers go into town and steal lotus pods with the understanding that “jiang-shushu will pay for it”. this is a regular thing! that’s fucking rich kid behavior!!! wei wuxian is careless with money because he doesn’t have to worry about it. he still has almost all the benefits of being upper class: education, food security, respect, recognition etc. I think there may also be a misconception that wei wuxian was always on the verge of being kicked out by yu ziyuan, or that he was constantly walking on eggshells around her for fear of being disowned, but that is just textually untrue. i could provide receipts, but I admittedly don’t really feel like digging them up just now ;;

even in his last years in yiling, he was not the one who was dealing with the acute knowledge of poverty: wen qing is the one managing the money, and as far as we know, wei wuxian did little to no management of daily life during the burial mounds days -- mostly, he’s described as hiding in his cave for days on end, working on his inventions, running around like a force of chaos, frivolously making a mess of things -- it’s very very cute that he buries a’yuan in the dirt, but in classic wei wuxian fashion, he did Not think about the practical consequences of it -- that A’Yuan has no other clean clothes, and now he’s gotten this set dirty and has no intention of washing them. is this a personality thing? yeah, but I think it’s also indicative of his lack of concern over the logistics of everyday survival, re: wealth.

furthermore, i think it is important to remember that wei wuxian, when he is protecting the wen remnants, is not protecting common folk: he is still protecting gentry. fallen gentry, yes! but gentry nonetheless. wen qing was favored by wen ruohan, and wen ning himself says that he has a retinue of people under his command (the remnants, essentially). their branch of the family do not have the experience of living and growing in poverty -- they are impoverished and persecuted in their last years, but that’s a very different thing from being impoverished your whole life. (sidenote: I do not believe wei wuxian’s primary motivation for defending the wen remnants was justice -- i believe he did it because he felt he owed wen ning and wen qing a life debt, and once he was there, he wasn’t going to stand around and let the work camps go on. yes, he is concerned about justice and doing the right thing, but that’s not why he went in the first place. anyways, that’s another meta)

after wei wuxian returns, he then marries back into gentry, and very wealthy gentry at that. lwj provides him all the money he could ever want, he is never worried about going homeless, starving, being denied opportunities based on his class and accompanying disadvantages. who would dare? and neither wei wuxian nor lan wangji seem to have much interest in shaking up the order of things, except in little things like the way they teach the juniors. they live in gusu, under the auspices of the lan, and they live a happy, domestic life.

were his years on the street traumatizing? yes, of course they were, there’s so much delicious character exploration to be done re: wei wuxian’s relationship to food, his relationship to his own needs, and his relationship to the people he loves. it’s all important and good! but I feel very strongly that that experience, while it was formative for him, did not impart any true understanding of poverty and the common person’s everyday struggles, nor do I think he ever really gains that understanding. he is observant and canny and aware of class and blood, certainly, but not in a way that makes it his primary hill to die on (badum-tss).

this is in very stark contrast to characters like jin guangyao and xue yang, and to some extent, xiao xingchen and song lan. I’ll start with the daozhangs, because I think they’re the simplest (??).

I think both xiao xingchen and song lan have class consciousness, but in a very simplified, broad-strokes kind of way (at least, given the information we know about them). we know that the two of them share similar values and want to one day form their own sect that gives no weight to the nobility of your lineage and has no concern with your wealth. we also know that they both disdain intersect politics and are more concerned with ideals and principles rather than status. but, I think because of that, this actually somewhat limits their perception and understanding of how status is used to oppress. as far as we know, neither of them participated on any side in sunshot and they demonstrate much more interest in relating to the commoners. honestly, i hc that they were flitting around trying to help decimated towns, protecting defenseless villages etc. I ALSO think this has a lot of interesting potential in terms of xiao xingchen and wei wuxian’s relationship, if xiao xingchen is ever revived. regardless of whether you’re in CQL or novel verse, xiao xingchen really doesn’t know wei wuxian at all, other than knowing that he’s his shijie’s son. he knows that cangse-sanren met with a tragic end, like yanling-daoren before her, and that he wants to be different. but here is cangse-sanren’s son, laying waste to entire cities, desecrating the dead. I would very much like to get into xiao xingchen’s head during that period of time (and i think, if i do it right, i can write some of it into the songxiao fixit), but that’s neither here nor there, because i’ve wandered off from my point again.

i would posit that song lan is used to an ascetic lifestyle, and xiao xingchen probably is too -- but that’s different from poverty because there’s an element of choice to it. I also think that neither of them is particularly worldly, xiao xingchen especially. he lived on an isolated mountain until he was like, seventeen, and he came down full of ideals and naivete about how the world worked. I think that both of them see inequality, that they are angered by it, and that they want to do something about it -- but their solution is neither to topple the sects, nor is it to reform the system. rather, it seems to be more about withdrawing and creating their own removed world. I think that the daozhangs embody a kind of utopianism that isn’t present in the minds of any of the other characters, not even wangxian. honestly, baoshan-sanren’s mountain is a utopian ideal, but one that is not described. it exists outside of and beyond the world. i have a lot of jumbled, vague thoughts about utopianism generally, mostly informed by china miéville and ursula k. le guin, and I don’t think i have the ability to articulate them here, but i wanted to. hm. say something? there is something about the inherent dystopianism contained within every utopia, that utopias are necessary, but also reflections of the existence of terrible things in their conception. idk. there’s something in there, I know it!! but i suppose what I want to say is -- i do not think the daozhangs understand class and social hierarchy very deeply because they don’t see a need to examine it deeply. for their goals, the details aren’t the point. they’re not looking to reform within the system, they’re looking to build something outside of it. I think they spend a lot of time concerned with alleviating the symptoms of social oppression, and their values reflect the injustices they witness there.

regardless, even if their story ends in tragedy and there is a certain amount of critique re: the utopian approach, i think the text still emphasizes that xiao xingchen left a utopia and that he thought that people mattered enough for him to try, and that was an incredibly honorable, kind, and human thing to do.

YEAH SURE THE DAOZHANGS ARE THE SIMPLEST ok ok RETURNING to class and moving forward: xue yang.

i also don’t think xue yang has class consciousness lol, or not in any way that really matters, but I do think poverty impacted him in a much stronger way than it impacted wei wuxian. wei wuxian spent some years on the street as a child. xue yang grew up on the streets. chang ci’an’s horrific treatment of him was directly due to his class and social standing: chang ci’an is a nobleman and xue yang is not even worth the dirt beneath the wheels of his cart. what I think is the seminal point though, is that this does not make xue yang think particularly deeply about systemic injustice, because xue yang is so self-centered, self-driven, and individualistic. he is not even slightly concerned about how poverty and class might affect other people -- they’re other people. what he takes away from his experience is not an anger at being wrongfully cheated by a system, but an anger at being wrongfully cheated by a specific man.

xue yang is not particularly concerned with the politics of the aristocracy -- he has no obvious ambitions other than, “i want to eat sweets whenever i please”, “i want to hurt anyone who wrongs me”, and “i want to be so strong that no one can hurt me”. like, he just doesn’t care -- it’s not the kind of power he wants. he sneers at people for like, personal reasons, not class reasons -- “you think you’re better than me” re: xiao xingchen and song lan. to him, all people -- poor, wealthy, noble, common -- are essentially equal, and they are all beneath him. after all, what does he care what family someone comes from, how much money they have? everyone bleeds when you cut them. some of them might be harder to get to than others, but xue yang does not fear that sort of thing. it’s just another obstacle he needs to vault on his way to getting revenge and/or a pastry.

ANYWAYS onto jin guangyao (wow this is hm. getting rather long ahaha oh dear): I would argue that the two characters with the most acute understanding of class/societal politics and the injustice of them are jin guangyao and lan xichen. i’ll start with jin guangyao for obvious reasons.

where xue yang took the damaging effects of poverty as personal slights, I think jin guangyao is painfully aware that there is nothing personal about them, which is, in some ways, much worse. why are two sons, born on the same day to the same father, treated so differently? just because.

he watched his mother struggle and starve and work herself to the bone in a profession where she was constantly disrespected and abused for almost nothing in return, while his father could have lifted her out of poverty with the wave of a finger. why didn’t he? because he didn’t like her? no -- because he didn’t care, and the structures of the society they live in protect that kind of blase treatment of the lower class.

“so my mother couldn’t choose her own fate, is that her fault?” jin guangyao demands. he knows that he is unbelievably talented, that he has ambition, that he has potential, and that all of it is beyond his grasp just because his father didn’t want to bother with it. his mother’s life was destroyed, and his own opportunities were crippled with that negligence. it isn’t personal. that’s just the way things are. your individual identity is meaningless, your humanity does not exist. when he’s kicked down the steps of jinlin tai, it’s just more confirmation that no matter how talented or hardworking he is, no one will give him the time of day unless he finds a way to take it himself and become someone who “matters”.

jin guangyao’s cultivation is weak because he had a poor foundation, and he had a poor foundation because he was denied access to a good one. he copies others because that’s all he can do at this point, and he copies so well that he can hold his own against some of the strongest cultivators of his generation. he’s disparaged for copying and “stealing” techniques, but -- he never would have had to if only he had been born/accepted into the upper class. the fact is that i really do think jin guangyao was the most promising cultivator of his generation that we meet, including the twin jades and wei wuxian: he had natural talent, ambition, creativity, determination and cunning in spades. in some ways, I think that’s one of the overlooked tragedies of jin guangyao: the loss of not just the good man he could have been, but the powerful one too. imagine what he could have done.

jin guangyao spends his entire time in the world of the aristocracy feeling unsteady and terrified because he knows exactly how precarious his position is. he knows how easy it is to lose power, especially for someone like him. he’s working against so many disadvantages, and every scrap of honor he gets is a vicious battle. jin guangyao fears, and I think that’s something that’s lacking in xue yang, wei wuxian and the daozhangs’ experiences/understandings of poverty. i think it’s precisely that fear that emphasizes jin guangyao’s understanding of class and blood. jin guangyao exhibits an anxiety that neither wei wuxian nor xue yang do, and it’s because he truly knows how little he is worth in the eyes of society and how little there is he can do to change that. to me, it very much feels related to the anxiety of not knowing if tomorrow you’ll have something to eat, if tomorrow you’ll still have a home, if tomorrow someone will destroy you and never have to answer for it. it’s the anxiety of knowing helplessness intimately.

moreover, jin guangyao is the only person shown to use the wealth and power at his disposal to take concrete steps to actually help the common people typically ignored by the powerful -- the watchtowers. they’re described in chapter 42. it’s a system that is designed to cover remote areas that most cultivators are reluctant to go due to their inconvenience and the lack of means of the people who live there. the watchtowers assign cultivators to different posts, give aid to those previously forgotten, and if the people are too poor to pay what the cultivators demand, the lanling jin sect pays for it. jin guangyao worked on this for five years and burned a lot of bridges over it. people were strongly opposed to it, thinking that it was some kind of ploy for lanling jin’s personal benefit. but the thing is -- it worked. they were effective. people were helped.

i believe CQL frames the watchtowers as an allegory for a surveillance state/centralized control (i think?? it’s been a minute -- that’s the hazy impression i remember, something like a parallel to the wen supervisory offices?), but I personally don’t think that was the intent in the novel. the watchtowers are a public good. lanling jin doesn’t staff them with their own sect members -- they get nearby sects to staff them. it’s a warning network that they fund that’s supposed to benefit everyone, even those that everyone had considered expendable.

(did jin guangyao do terrible things to achieve this goal? yeah lol. it’s not confirmed, but his son sure did die... suspiciously...... at the hands of an outspoken critic of the watchtowers........ whom he then executed....... so like, maybe just a convenient coincidence for jin guangyao, two birds one stone, but. it seems. Unlikely.)

lan xichen is the only member of the gentry that ever shows serious compassion for and nuanced understanding of jin guangyao’s circumstances. lan xichen treats him as his equal regardless of jin guangyao’s current status -- even when he was meng yao, lan xichen treated him as a human being worthy of respect, as someone with great merits, as someone he would choose as a friend, but he did so knowing full well the delicate position meng yao occupied. this is in direct contrast to nie mingjue, who also believed that meng yao was worthy of respect as a human being, but was completely unable to comprehend the complexities of his circumstances and unwilling to grant him any grace. you know, the difference between “i acknowledge that your birth and status have had effects upon you, but I don’t think less of you for it” and “i don’t consider your birth and status at all when i interact with you because i think it is irrelevant” (“i don’t see color” anyone?)

to illustrate, from chapter 48:

大抵是觉得娼妓之子身上说不定也带着什么不干净的东西，这几名修士接过他双手奉上来的茶盏后，并不饮下，而是放到一边，还取出雪白的手巾，很难受似的，有意无意反复擦拭刚才碰过茶盏的手指。聂明玦并非细致之人，未曾注意到这种细节，魏无羡却用眼角余光扫到了这些。孟瑶视若未见，笑容不坠半分，继续奉茶。蓝曦臣接过茶盏之时，抬眸看他一眼，微笑道：“多谢。”

旋即低头饮了一口，这才继续与聂明玦交谈。旁的修士见了，有些不自在起来。

rough tl:

Probably because they believed that the son of a prostitute might also carry some unclean things upon his person, after these few cultivators took the teacups offered from [Meng Yao’s] two hands, they did not drink, but instead put them to one side, and furthermore brought out snow white handkerchiefs. Quite uncomfortably, and whether they were aware of it or not, they repeatedly wiped the fingers they had just used to touch the teacups. Nie Mingjue was not a detail-oriented person and never took note of such particulars, but Wei Wuxian caught these in the corner of his eye. Meng Yao appeared as if he had not seen, his smile unwavering in the slightest, and continued to serve tea. When Lan Xichen took the teacup, he glanced up at him and, smiling, said, “Thank you.”

He immediately dipped his head to take a sip, and only then continued to converse with Nie Mingjue. Seeing this, the nearby cultivators began to feel somewhat uneasy.

all right, since we’re in full cyan-rampaging-through-the-weeds mode at this point, i’m going to talk about how this is one of my favorite 3zun moments in the entire novel for characterization purposes because it really highlights how they all relate to one another, and to what degree each of them is aware of their own position in relation to the others and society as a whole.

1. nie mingjue, who is a forthright and blunt person, sets meng yao to serving tea and is done with it. he notices nothing wrong or inappropriate about the reactions of the people in the room because it’s not the sort of thing he considers important.

2. meng yao, knowing that his only avenue is to take it lying down with a smile, masks perfectly.

3. lan xichen, noticing all this, uses his own reputation to achieve two things at once: pointedly shame the other cultivators in attendance, and show meng yao that regardless of others’ opinions, he considers him an equal and does not endorse such behavior--and he does it while taking care that no fallout will come down on meng yao’s head.

is this yet another installment of cyan’s endless lxc defense thesis? why yes it is! no one is surprised! but this is my whole point: both meng yao and lan xichen understand the respective hierarchy and power dynamics within the room, while nie mingjue very much does not. this is not because nie mingjue is a bad person or because nie mingjue is stupid--it’s a combination of personality and upbringing. nie mingjue is straightforward and has no patience for such games. but then again, he can afford not to play because he was born into such a high position: that’s a privilege.

to break it down: meng yao knows that he is the lowest-ranked person in the room, sees the way people are subtly disrespecting him in full view of his general who is doing nothing about it. in some ways, this is good -- nie mingjue’s style of dealing with conflict is very direct and not at all suited to delicate political maneuvering. after all, the way he promoted meng yao was actually quite dangerous to meng yao: he essentially guaranteed that his men would bear meng yao a grudge and that their disrespect for him would only be compounded by their bitterness at being punished on his behalf. (it’s like, why often getting parents or teachers to intervene ineffectively in bullying can just be an incitement to more bullying -- same concept) meng yao’s reaction during that scene shows that he’s pretty painfully aware of this and is trying to defuse the situation to no avail. nie mingjue gives him a bootstrap speech (rip nie mingjue i love u so much but. sir) and then promotes him, which is pretty much the only saving grace of that entire exchange, for meng yao at least.

lan xichen, on the other hand, understands both that meng yao is the lowest-ranked person in the room and that any direct attempt to chastise the other cultivators in the room will only serve to hurt meng yao in the long run. he knows that if this were brought to nie mingjue’s attention, he would be outraged and not shy about it -- also bad for meng yao. so he uses what he has: his immaculate reputation. by acting contrary to the other cultivators’ behavior, he demonstrates that he finds their actions unacceptable but with the plausible deniability that it wasn’t directed at them, that this is just zewu-jun being his usual generous self. this means that the other cultivators have no one to blame but themselves, nothing to do but question their own actions. there is nowhere to cast off their discomfort. meng yao didn’t do anything. lan xichen didn’t do anything -- he just thanked meng yao and drank his tea, isn’t that what it’s there for? he doesn’t disrupt the peace, he doesn’t attack anyone and put them on the defensive, but he does make his position very clear.

i know this is a really small thing and i’m probably beating it to death, but I really think this shows just how cognizant lan xichen is of politics and emotional cause and effect in such situations. certainly, out of context I think the scene reads kind of cliche, but within the greater narrative of the story and within the arc of these characters specifically, I think it was a really smart scene to include. it also showcases lan xichen’s style of action: that he moves around and with a problematic situation as opposed to moving straight through.

not to be salty on main again, but this is why it’s very frustrating to me when I see people call lan xichen passive when he is anything but. his actions just don’t look like traditional “actions”, especially to an american audience. it’s easy to understand lan wangji and wei wuxian’s style of problem-solving: taking a stand, moving through, staying strong. lan xichen is juggling an inconceivable number of factors in any given situation, weighing his responsibilities in one role against those in another, and then trying to find the path through the thicket that will cause the least harm, both to himself and the thicket. lan wangji and wei wuxian are not particularly good at considering the far-reaching consequences of their actions -- again, not because they are bad people, but because of a combination of personality and upbringing. they’d just hack through the thicket, not thinking about the creatures that live in it. that is not a terrible thing! it isn’t. it’s a different way of approaching a problem, and it has different priorities. that’s okay. there are advantages and disadvantages on both sides, and where you come down is going to depend on your personal values.

okay we’ve spiraled far and away from my original point, but let’s circle back: i was talking about class.

I think it’s undeniable that class, birthright, fate etc. are some of the driving forces of thematic conflict in mdzs, and the way each character interacts with those forces reveals a lot about themselves and also about the larger themes of fate, chance, and what it means to be righteous and good and how that is and isn’t rewarded. a lot of the tragedy of mdzs (the tragedy that isn’t caused by direct aggression on the part of one group or another) stems from the injustices and slights that people suffered due to their lot in life. it isn’t fair. none of it is fair! we sympathize with jin guangyao because we recognize that what he suffered was unconscionable, even if we don’t excuse him. i sympathize A Lot with xue yang as well for similar reasons, though I understand that’s a harder sell. this is a story focused on the mistakes of an entrenched, aging gentry and the effects that those mistakes had on their children, and a lot of it has to do with prejudice based in class and birth status. whether the prejudice was the true reason or whether it was just a convenient excuse, the fact remains that the systems in place rewarded and protected the people in power who used it to cling to that power. mdzs is also a story of how the circumstances of one’s life can offer you impossible choices that you cannot abstain from, and it asks us to be compassionate to the people who made terrible choices in terrible times. it’s about the inherent complexity in all things! that sometimes, there are no good choices, and i don’t know, i’d like to think that people would show me compassion if I had to make the choices some of these characters did. not just wei wuxian, mind you, every single one of them. except jin guangshan because I Do Hate Him sorry. and i guess wen ruohan. i think that’s it.

good. GOD this is clocking in at //checks notes -- just over 5k. 8′D *stuffs some weeds into my mouth like the clown i am*

(ko-fi? :’D *lies down*)

[diamaker-moon]

Moving Forward - Chapter 1

Chapter One

Change of Plans

—————

"Marinette, we need to talk..." Tikki trailed her words while glancing at the other Kwamis behind the girl.

They were out of the box, but instead of wreaking havoc inside the room, they were observing the young Guardian who's currently curled into a fetal position on top of her chaise. The Kwamis had a glance at her appearance at the moment, and they were more worried for her.

Marinette was tired. She was tired of everything.

Her issue with a liar in school, her current stand with her class, how the adults in school ignore the problem, and last night, Chat Noir ticked her. They were battling a late-night Akuma. He was not only late, but he also whined about Ladybug not doing her best. Instead of helping her, he gave her an ultimatum that if she doesn't confess her feelings for him, he'll not come to any Akuma battles or she confess and stop being stubborn. With that statement, she felt anger run through her veins and gave her more drive. She successfully defeated the Akuma all on her own. She tried to help the victim to their home, but the victim politely refused, after that, she rushed home, not looking back.

"What do we need to talk about, Tikki?" She replied still not looking at the ladybug kwami.

"About the miraculous holders and your situation at school."

Marinette sighed before sitting up and looking straight at the kwami. Due to her added responsibility, she had been on edge at school, and especially since the class is against her, she didn't care about them anymore. She dismissed and permanently retired the temporary heroes, and used the excuse of 'they already got exposed'.

"We agree about removing the other heroes, since you'll need to trust them, and that's currently a problem, but there's one more holder we refuse to see using a miraculous."

Marinette's brow shot up in confusion, "Who?"

"Chat Noir."

That made Marinette freeze. She knows where the conversation is leading.

"Plagg talked to me, he really liked his current holder, but it was getting annoying for him. He wants a new one, or you can use him temporarily for battle." Tikki explained.

Marinette thought about it for a while. Tikki was right. A lot has changed in Chat Noir's attitude, he became more pushy and annoying, and the people of Paris have been noticing his behaviour, some were disappointed, while others are reprimanding her for not returning the 'poor Chat's feelings'.

"Alright... We'll do it tonight."

The kwamis sighed in relief. That was one problem solved.

"Now the other problem... We think it might be best for you to be in a different environment."

"You mean, I should... transfer?"

Tikki nodded and when Marinette looked at the other kwamis they also nodded eagerly, and it made Marinette sighed.

Collège Françoise Dupont has been her school for a long time, even when Chloé was the one bullying her, she didn't consider transferring. Aside from the fact that her home is only across the street, she knew almost everyone in the school. But now... a lot has changed. She wondered how did Mlle Bustier and M. Damocles believe an Italian exchange student instead of investigating? Dupont changed drastically after the liar joined. Marinette doesn't recognize it anymore.

"I... I'll talk to Maman and Papa about it. Now, how am I going to claim the Black Cat Miraculous if I don't even know his identity?"

"I'll help you!"

Wayzz offered. It was only a small favour for him. After Tikki revealed to them their Guardian's current situation, all the kwamis were angry. They were also aware of Plagg's current holder, and they knew that both the Yin and Yang miraculous is currently unbalance.

The Yin and Yang Miraculous, which are the ladybug and black cat miraculous, are the most important miraculous in the Chinese Miracle Box. If the two miraculous are combined, the holder will be granted a wish, and that wish can even bend reality, however, every wish has its price.

And currently, all the kwamis feel the unbalance between the two miraculous. And it's all because of the blonde's promise.

'As long as you and I both know the truth' 

That was his words. But Adrien became blind to the fact that their classmates have been bullying her without concrete proof that she was the bully. He abandoned her when she needed someone, and didn't even apologize for leaving her, instead, he reprimands her for going against the 'high road' path.

There are going to be a lot of changes during the next few days.

—————

"Maman? Papa? Can we talk?"

Sabine and Tom who were busy preparing dinner turned their heads towards their daughter's faint voice. Sabine made her way towards Marinette and guided her to their living room and sat down.

"Is there something wrong, Marinette?"

Marinette gulped before looking straight into her mother's eyes.

She admitted everything. About the liar, how her so-called 'friends' abandoned her, how someone wants her to bend her morals and let the vixen fool their classmates, how her own teacher and principal lost their brain, how she was being bullied, how she was almost akumatized countless of times at school and their home, she breaks down.

Sabine was stunned. She didn't even notice how her own daughter has been suffering in that place. She wanted to be angry, she wanted to lash out, but she didn't want Shadowmoth to take over her emotions. Looking at her daughter who was now crying in her Father's arms, broke her heart.

She stood up, grabbed a tray and gathered food on it.

"Here, why don't you eat in your room for now... Your Father and I will talk about your transfer since I will not let you step a foot in that school anymore."

Marinette nodded and took the tray before heading to her room.

Sabine and Tom did work while they were eating dinner, they have founded a school that will suit their daughter.

Jeanne d'Arc l'Académie

A private school that is more expensive than Dupont, but they also grant scholarships. The school offered courses that will help the student's talents blossom. And both of Marinette's parents believe in their daughter's talent in designing, she could get a scholarship, and if that doesn't work out, they'll just have to work harder for her tuition.

The school offers a dormitory to all the students.

Marinette's home was a bit further from that school, that is why Dupont became an advantage to them since it is a street away from the bakery.

"Are we going to let her move to a dorm? Or she'll just be commuting?" Tom asked, worried about her daughter going to school late every time.

"We'll be talking to her about this, and if she wants to, I think it might be better. She'll be far away from Dupont, and the dorm building will only allow parents and listed guests to enter." Sabine said.

Marinette was a sixteen-year-old girl, but they are more worried about her mental health. If she was constantly near her old classmates, she might not feel safe. Sabine was hoping that Marinette will agree to move into a dorm. Sure, she'll miss her all the time in their home, but her daughter's health is much more important.

The next morning came, Sabine called the principal early morning, and informed that Marinette will not be going to class for a week due to personal matters. Which the man agreed immediately after hearing the woman's sharp tone.

When Sabine saw Marinette walked down from her room, she took a good look at her daughter. She was becoming thinner, she had bags under her eyes, and she can feel a looming aura around her.

"Morning, Maman..."

"Come, eat breakfast. I already called your school that you'll be absent for a week, while you rest and we prepare for your transfer."

Marinette nodded and gave her mother a genuine smile. Something she hasn't done for a while.

"Marinette. We found you a school that will suit you, it can help with your career. Now we want your input, they offer a campus dorm, me and your father, thought that it's much better if you get a dorm so that you'll be far away from Dupont."

The girl was stunned. She couldn't imagine waking up all alone, without her parents near her. She wanted to go against it, but she thought about it.

Far away from Dupont. She could gain more privacy, she'll be able to move freely especially when there's an Akuma. Especially now that she's all alone.

Last night, she reclaimed the black cat miraculous. Marinette was hurt that her partner was the boy who hurt her the most. Adrien Agreste. She was angry that the blonde couldn't be a hero without a mask. But she needed a new partner, someone she could trust and will always back her up.

"Don't worry, the dorm building is strict only parents and listed guests are allowed to enter," Sabine added after noticing how quiet her daughter was.

"Can I think about it until dinner?"

Sabine nodded and bid goodbye since she needs to work in the bakery now.

After finishing breakfast, she went upstairs to her room with a tray of foods that all the kwamis like. The Kwamis noticed that the girl was silent, but they didn't ask. Plagg who was silently observing while eating a cheese danish finally went up to her.

"You okay, kid?" Plagg asked.

Marinette looked at the cat kwami who had a reputation of being stubborn, it made her smile a bit.

"Maman said I'm officially being transferred to a new school. Maman also recommended that I stay in a dorm inside the school campus, for me to be away from Dupont."

"Isn't that good Marinette? You'll get more privacy without worrying about someone barging inside here or someone seeing you go inside while you're in the suit." Tikki said.

Marinette only sighed and calmed herself. She could only hope that Shadowmoth won't be sending an Akuma or an Amok today.

—————

"Guys! Did you hear?!"

Three pairs of eyes landed on the person who came in while shouting inside their dorm.

"What is it?"

"There are rumours that someone applied to be transferred here in Jeanne! We might get a new student and possibly a new dormmate!"

The three looked at each other and glanced at a closed door while thinking about the newcomer's words.

Meanwhile, back at Marinette's home.

Her parents informed her about her possible scholarship and the requirements— which was easy for her since she is applying for a fashion scholarship, she will need to pass a portfolio of her designs. She also let her parents know about her decision about the dorm. And her parents agreed to it.

For the first time in a while, Marinette had a fun time. She ignores the constant notifications on her cellphone, she dedicated the day to relax, something she hasn't done for a while.

It was a blessing in disguise that transferring out of Dupont will be easy, her mother will only need to get her student files then leave.

Ever since the bullying started, she slowly removes her belongings in her locker to avoid any rumours about stealing... again. Looking around her room, It felt bare to her. She took down all of Adrien's photos and class photos from her walls and burned them. Impulsive? Yes. Worth it? Definitely!

The gifts she had created for Adrien were getting donated. She was slowly removing any reminders about her life in Dupont.

She had to admit, she thanked Lila for letting her see her classmates' true colours. She wasn't a friend, she was a tool. She now realizes how her class uses her for free things, how Alya just dumps the babysitting on her without even getting paid, how her teacher kept moulding her to be a perfect student. She hated it. She was used. And now that she isn't 'useful' they abandon her.

She was currently preparing her portfolio, and even asked her clients if she can have permission to use the commissions she has made to be used in her portfolio, to which they happily agreed!

Three days have passed, she had successfully applied for a scholarship, her mother has retrieved her school files, no Akumas or Amoks attacking the city.

"You seem quite happy, bǎobǎo!" Sabine was glad that Marinette is slowly becoming happy once again.

Marinette deserved to be happy. Her parents will do anything to keep it that way.

"Have you started packing your things? You do know that even if the scholarship is rejected, we'll still enroll you, right?"

"Yes, Maman. Thank you. I know it is expensive, but I still want to thank you guys for the opportunity!"

Marinette hugged her mother and smile contentedly. She was happy. She was finally happy... for now.

While waiting for a response in her scholarship application, she was currently brainstorming with Tikki about her suit.

"You want to change it?" Tikki asks.

"Yeah. Like a reminder that I am beginning a new chapter, and leaving everything behind."

Tikki smiled and happily agreed with her holder. All the kwamis are out, but Plagg and Tikki were constantly out of the box.

Marinette wears both the miraculous, at first she was scared that it might trigger the ultimate power, but nothing happened, so she assumed that it will only happen if both are unified. She had also gained the Grimoire and missing tablet!

When Wayzz retrieved the Cat Miraculous, he had noticed his previous Master's tablet and the Grimoire in Adrien Agreste's desk, he informed Ladybug and she immediately went to his room quietly. She didn't even want to think why he suddenly has it. Returning to her room, she had successfully got three important things.

Master Fu's missing tablet where a translated Grimoire is stored.

The original Grimoire.

And finally, the Cat Miraculous.

It was more than what she had bargained. But she was lucky. Really lucky!

'Looks like lady luck finally gave me a good amount of luck!'

 Chapter 1 — Moving Forward: Masterlist — Chapter 2

[crimsonophelia]

holidays and festivals with genshin characters ||

many thanks to my bestie hani for giving me inspiration for many of these~

featuring: zhongli, venti, childe, razor 

warnings: none

published: april 14 2021

form: headcanons

zhongli - lantern rite festival

okay but i’m genuinely upset at how they barely featured zhongli in the lantern rite quest unless you actually played as him :c

but anyways! the liyue lantern rite festival is heavily inspired by the traditional chinese holiday called the lantern festival (元宵节), so i think a lot of the things that you would typically do to celebrate lantern festival would apply to lantern rite as well

i think zhongli would take lantern rite quite seriously, as most chinese do, and he would make sure to plan weeks in advance his days off from work and what he will need to do to prepare to celebrate lantern rite with his friends

when the morning of the festival arrives, he makes sure to come visit you bright and early, much to your dismay

he bids you a good morning, helps you get dressed, and takes you into town to run errands. and, as expected, zhongli has once again forgotten that mora is a key element in financial transactions and requires your monetary assistance unsurprisingly

liyue is donned in bright shades of red and jewel, and families are out and about viewing the beautiful decorations, reminded of their beautiful and prosperous land and of those who protect it

zhongli would take you around, asking you to buy buying little trinkets for you and for you to gift to others as a sign of well-wishing for the holiday season. you and zhongli also purchase heaps of street food, exclusively available around lantern rite week, and zhongli probably eats more than you’ve ever seen him eat.

once the sun sets later in the day, you two watch the lanterns and lightshow, in awe of its beauty. you turn to see zhongli’s reaction, and as the stars and lights cast a magical glow upon his face, he seems more content than you’ve ever seen him before. perhaps spending lantern rite with a beloved companion has done something for the old man’s weary heart.

venti - windblume festival

all i have to say is that venti is a drunk mess the entire time the festival is in mondstadt

he’s on a drinking spree trying to taste test all the different new cocktails and wines that the angel’s share is selling exclusively during the festival season, and is not apologetic whatsoever that you have to deal with his obnoxious drinking habits

in addition to his little side hustle going on, scamming innocent people of their money by teaching them how to write “love poems”, i also feel like he would make some extra cash for booze by reselling random flowers, claiming that they are actually real windblumes or something like that

but i do think he would have the decency to save some of the mora he makes to spend on you during the festival season. venti isn’t stupid and it’s a little bit concerning how smooth and tactful he actually is when he chooses to be so, hence i do think that he would actually treat you to some nice things ;)

however, he isn’t as big on buying gifts as zhongli is (ironically, considering zhongli is probably more broke than the traveling drunkard) so i think he would make a lot more homemade gifts for you, like a hand-picked flower bouquet and a self-brewed dandelion wine drink

if venti hasn’t officially confessed his love before windblume, i think he would take this opportunity to make it official and take things a bit more seriously.

venti walked over to you after his poem masterclass with a sheet of paper in his hand, a little sheepishly, which was unusual for the cheeky little bastard

he says the class went well, and he hands you the paper he was holding. 

“i showed them this example i wrote. give it a read. pretty good, isn’t it?”

neither the lampgrass, nor the dandelion, or the delicate cecilia, nor the vibrant aster, could ever compare to the way my heart beats faster, when you spare an ounce of your beauty, spending your love on a poor, old, drunkard like me.

impressed, you lift your gaze, and to your surprise, the little bard looks more genuine than you’ve probably ever seen before.

“keep it. i wrote it for you.”

childe - maslenitsa

okay so my good friend, who is russian, gave me the idea to write about childe celebrating maslenitsa (an eastern orthodox holiday that is related to easter), and i am by no means orthodox nor eastern european (so please forgive any cultural misdescriptions), but i do think this is a super cute idea

i think childe would get some time off from being a harbinger to celebrate with his family, which is a rare treat for the fine-tuned warrior whittled down to little more than a hedonistic machine by the tsaritsa 

like truly, i feel so sad when thinking about childe sometimes because he’s so kind to his family, especially his brothers, and the fact that he’s away on missions for so long must make him miss his family a lot

that’s why during the holidays, he really treasures every second he gets to be back home, and now that he gets the chance to take you to meet his family, he’s even more overjoyed

there is still a thin layer of snow on the ground, but there is a slight scent of spring making its way back into the household as ajax and his brothers help their mother prepare ingredients to bake bliny, the buttery smell wafting through the kitchen

the boys are a mess as ajax is particularly clumsy with tasks that require dexterity of the fingers, and he ends up getting flour all over his clothes as well as his shorter brothers, and thus receiving a scolding from their mother

being the teasing little brat he is, he smears some of the flour onto your nose when you aren’t paying attention, which calls for even more chastising coming from his mother while she mixes all the ingredients together. 

the total domesticity of the scene melts your heart, and seeing ajax laugh with such tenderness and without any barriers obstructing his heart might be one of the most bittersweet things you’ve ever witnessed, knowing he inevitably will have to return to a life of danger and uncertainty

bonus: razor - windblume

i literally don’t have any fleshed out ideas for this but my friend and i were talking about how he would try and pick wolfhook berries for you during windblume, because he thinks that’s what the windblume flower is and he wants to express his care for you by giving you the most special flower he can find :’)

like he would ask to take you to wolvendom on a walk, and you acquiesce because who could ever refuse razor

whenever you two are alone together, razor tries his best to talk and form the most proper and eloquent sentences that he is able to, and he does try very hard, really, but often to no avail

but you reassure him, “razor, baby, it’s okay, i can understand you without words just fine” and he blushes because nobody has ever called him “baby” before T_T

when you’re in wolvendom with him, he holds your hand in order to not lose you, and his grip is a little nervous at first but gradually gets more confident and his fingers fit more comfortably between yours. he will walk ahead of you, creating an easy pathway through the dense flora, and will pull you up by your waist in case the terrain becomes difficult

once he finds the biggest and plumpest wolfhook berry, he gives it to you with both hands outstretched, gaze averted out of timidness

you accept his lovely gift and ruffle his hair a little bit and the boy melts T_T and from then onwards he gives you a ton of gifts in the form of random little flowers or berries he finds because that’s how he shows his care for you 

can you tell i started listening to mitski halfway through writing this

[sketching-shark]

LMK fandom: Oh, what do we do about this guy who has nothing but hurt Xiaotian, tried to replace Sun Wukong and his crew, hurt Tripitaka and ordered servants to cannibalize a monkey? Oh I know! We’ll turn him into our little meow meow~ he’s so innocent and Sun Wukong is obviously the villain!

What doesn’t help is this idea is perpetuated by multiple fan fic writers and artists for some reason. Especially some aus they make that turn SWK into a bastard for the sake of the story rather than considering cultural context and thinking they should be respectful.

And almost everyone lets them get away with it just because the art or fanfic is good and they get so popular that no one can point what is actually wrong without feeling like they’re going to get attacked.

I'm starting to feel like my blog is the one anons go to specifically to vent their frustrations about the Six Eared Macaque in his lego monkey show form & the associated fandom lmao. But I guess this makes sense, as I’ve had fun quasi-dragging him before & will in fact use this anon submission as an opportunity to have my own, to put it academically, bitch fest about not just this fandom's favorite protagonist-traumatizing meow meow, but about the way villains are often treated in not just fanon, but increasingly in canon works as well. But same policy as with the last anon; I'll post my opinions below the cut, and as fandoms love to say, don’t like don't read if you don't want to see me dunking on the six eared simian & common fandom tendencies towards villains.

Oh man I would say where would you even begin with this but anon you’ve pretty much started yourself with my main gripe with a lot of ways that the Six-Eared Macaque is portrayed in fandom; there seems to be this unspoken agreement that his acts of violence towards Sun Wukong, Qi Xioatian, and Qi Xioatian’s loved ones are either to be framed as somewhat or totally justified, to be immediately forgiven/excused, or to simply & completely be ignored. Like friends maybe this is just me not seeing the proper posts but while the fandom is inundated with art and fanfics of Macaque as a generally decent individual & a true member of team good guy, I have yet to see one person address the fact that this monkey literally kidnapped & mind-controlled Xiaotian’s best friend and father figures & forced them to brutalize Xiaotian while ol’ Six Ear looked on and laughed (X_X). Like this kind of fandom villain treatment is definitely not something that’s solely at work for Monkie Kid, but it is kind of nutty how fandoms will swing between yelling that people should be allowed to like villains without even mild critique, and then will just flat-out not address the villainous behavior, and will even bend over backwards to frame even characters who committed genocide as just poor innocent widdle victims who need a hug. At its worst, I’ve even seen tons of people in a fandom get really angry at other people who don’t like a villain, and will even start accusing those people of hating real-life mentally disabled or abused individuals all because they don’t like the fandom’s favorite literal war criminal. The Monkie Kid fandom is FAR more chill & better than a lot of other fandoms I’ve come across in that regard, but that is an exceedingly low bar, & the tendency to woobify certain kinds of villains-- as with Macaque and the extreme emphasis on his bad boy/sad boy thing--is very much at work.  

 I’ve also talked before about a kind of monoculturalization of certain character interpretations and story beats in fandoms, and one of the more popular ones that seems to be applied to Macaque a lot is the “hero actually bad, villain actually good” cliche, as observable from the general fandom assumption that Mr. Six-Ears he wasn’t even slightly lying or remembering things through a rose-tinted or skewed lens when he gave his version of his and Sun Wukong’s past. Like at this point it seems the possibility that people WILL NOT even consider is that Sun Wukong never did & still doesn't care that much about the Six Eared Macaque (in JTTW they weren’t sworn brothers & in Monkie Kid the only thing the monkey king really said to Macaque before attacking him was a pretty contemptuous "Aren't you ever going to get sick of living under my shadow?," & responds to his "beloved friend" getting blown up with "You did good, bud" to Qi Xiaotian, who did the exploding), or that their original fight may in fact have mostly been instigated by Macaque. After all, to repeat what this anon summarized & what I've said before about their original JTTW context (& in an example of the things that do feel like it's often lost in translation) is that the Six Ear Macaque was a villain not just because he beat up the Tang Monk, but because he wanted to take over Sun Wukong's entire life and identity so he could have all that glory, prestige, and power for himself. To quote the macaque himself from the Anthony C. Yu translation, "I struck the T'ang monk and I took the luggage...precisely because I want to go to the West all by myself to ask Buddha for the scriptures. When I deliver them to the Land of the East, it will be my success and no one else's. Those people of the South Jambudvipa Continent will honor me then as their patriarch and my fame will last for all posterity." And in order to do this, the Six Eared Macaque had apparently made Sun Wukong's "little ones," his monkey family, his captives through either trickery or force, and gotten a number of them to take on the appearance of Tang Sanzang and the other pilgrims. It's also made clear that in very direct contrast to Sun Wukong, he doesn't care about these monkeys beyond how they might serve him. In fact, after Sha Wujing kills the monkey posing as him the Six Eared Macaque not only all but immediately replaces him with another, but also "told his little ones to have the dead monkey skinned. Then his meat was taken to be fried and served as food along with coconut and grape wines." So this monkey is not only willing to risk the lives of a lot of other monkeys for his own personal benefit, but is also a literal cannibal. And yes yes, I know a lot of people have argued that Monkie Kid shouldn't be considered a direct sequel to JTTW & that's fair enough (for example, Sun Wukong probably shouldn't be smashing anyone into a meat patty in a children's cartoon lol). And of course, it needs to be noted that there are a buttload of really out there & really cursed pieces of media based on JTTW & that were created in China. Yet the above description is the oft-ignored in the west original facet of the Six Eared Macaque's character. And it is this selfishness, entitlement, and treatment of other individuals as tools for his own self-serving ends  that is, from where I’m standing, still very much present in Monkie Kid. Like besides repeatedly going out of his way to physically and psychologically traumatize Xioatian, with the last episode Macaque seemed to be going right back to his manipulative ways. I’ve seen people frame their last conversation as Macaque softening to Xioatian a little bit, but personally that read a lot more like that common tactic among abusers where even after they’ve hurt you they’ll dangle something you want or need over your head (in Macaque’s case, the promise of desperately needed training and information about a serious looming threat), with the implication that you’ll only get it if you do what they want you to, such as, in this case, Xioatian going back to Macaque as his student even after having been so terribly hurt by this monkey, which would give Macaque power over Xiaotian and probably Sun Wukong as a result. And it is this violence and manipulation that it seems the fandom at large has tacitly decided shouldn’t even be addressed, instead leaning more towards a (and this is an exaggeration) “Six-Eared Macaque my poor meow meow Sun Wukong has always been bad & has always been wrong about literally everything” reading. 

And while it is the case that I am not Chinese and feel that as such it would be best left to someone who actually comes from that background to provide more context into how common interpretations of the Six Eared Macaque from China may clash really badly with the stuff the western fandom creates, it also must be noted that, as much as we all want to have fun in fandom & in spite of all the out-there versions of JTTW from China, we westerners should recognize that there is a very long and very ugly history of western countries stripping other cultures’ important religious and literary works for parts & mashing them into their own thing while implying or even insisting that what they present provides a true understanding of the original piece. And while I trust most individuals in regards to Monkie Kid are able to step back and think “this is a lego cartoon and not a set guide for how I should understand JTTW” (especially given the insistence that JTTW and Monkie Kid should be considered there own separate works) there does nevertheless seem to be something of a tendency to take the conclusions people come to, for example, about Sun Wukong’s characteristic in his lego form & then assume that’s just reflective to Sun Wukong as a totality. I imagine a good portion of this is due to people not reading JTTW & especially to not having easy access to solid information or answers about JTTW’s many different facets (like geez awhile ago I was trying to get a clear answer on what is considered the most accurate translation of the names of Sun Wukong’s six sworn brothers & got like 5 different responses lmao), but that tendency to take a western fandom interpretation & run with it instead of doing any background research or questioning said interpretation is still very much at play. As such, & as made prominent in the way people have been interpreting the dynamic between Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque in the lego monkey show, tbh it does seem kind of shitty for western creators & audience to sometimes go really out of their way to ignore all of this original cultural & narrative context for the sake of Angst (TM) in Macaque's favor, demonizing Sun Wukong, and shipping the monkey king with his evil twin (X_X).

And speaking of which, even beyond the potential inherent creepiness & revulsion that can be inspired by this specific ship given common interpretations of the og classic's original meaning (again, it's my understanding, given both summaries of translated Chinese academic texts I've been kindly provided with, my own reading of the Anthony C. Yu translation of JTTW, & vents from a number of Chinese people I've seen on this site, that the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China as having originated from Sun Wukong himself as a living embodiment of his worst traits, hence why only Buddha can tell the difference between them & why the monkey king is much more slow to violence after he kills the macaque), I'd argue that in the face of all the uwu poor widdle meow meow portrayals lego show Macaque is, especially if you include JTTW's events, still in the role of “Sun Wukong but worse” as he is very much a violent & selfish creep. Like he was basically running around in JTTW wearing a Sun Wukong fursuit, but there he had the sole reason of wanting to replace Sun Wukong wholesale so he could have all the good things in the monkey king's life without actually having to work as hard for them. But if you combine that with Macaque now claiming that he used to be best friend with Sun Wukong in his pre-journey days (something that's made funny from a JTTW context given that that status actually belongs to the Demon Bull King lol), his original violence has now blown into this centuries long and really unhealthy obsession with the monkey king. Like he's apparently gone from wanting to literally be Sun Wukong to being so obsessed with getting revenge on Sun Wukong that he's got basically nothing else going on in his life. Like he's only appeared in two episodes but...does he have any friends? Any family? A career or even a hobby that DOESN'T center the monkey king? Anything at all outside of his "get revenge on and/or kill Sun Wukong/use his successor as my personal punching bag” thing? Like dude! That is extremely creepy and extremely bad for everyone all around! As I’ve said before, this seeming refusal to see beyond the past or to do something that doesn’t involve Sun Wukong in some capacity is a trait that makes Macaque an interesting and somewhat tragic villain--he even seems to be working as Sun Wukong’s reflection in a mirror darkly, with lego show Sun Wukong pretty clearly not being able to heal from his own past which is hinted to be defined by one loss after another, and with Monkie Kid even kind of having these two characters somewhat follow their JTTW characterizations in that in the latter half of the journey Sun Wukong often gets sad & starts crying in the face of what seems insurmountable odds (& Monkie Kid Sun Wukong does seem to be hiding some serious depression behind a cheerful facade), whereas the Six-Eared Macaque retains a worse version of Sun Wukong’s pre-journey characteristic of getting pissed and lashing out if things don’t go his way--but it’s also what would make any current friendship or romantic relationship between these monkeys horrific. Although to be fair even the fandom seems to recognize this in an unconscious way, in that a lot of the art & fanfic seems to swing erratically between them kissing & screaming at each other in yet another example of bog-standard fandom adulation of romanticized toxic relationships lol.  

At the end of the day, of course, this is nothing new. You'll find versions of this dynamic across a ton of fandoms and now even canonical work. And as such, I can only look at this kind of popularized relationship dynamic with a kind of resigned weariness whenever it pops up, & my frustrated question with the popularity of this kind of pairing is the exact same one that I have for a multitude of blatantly toxic villain/hero ships, given common fandom discourse & the tendency to either ignore or justify the villain's actions & demonize the hero: if you're THAT convinced that everything is the hero's fault, if you believe THAT much that the hero is the one in the wrong for the villain's pain and their subsequent actions, then why are you so set on them not only becoming a romantic pair, but framing this get-together as a good thing? Like I know we contain multitudes but that's waaay too many contradictions for me to wrap my head around. And it definitely doesn’t help that one branch of underlying reasoning behind this kind of pairing seems to be the ever-present “you break it, you fix it” mentality, where the assumption is that if you’re in a failing, abusive, and/or generally toxic relationship (platonically or romantically), if you put in enough time and effort & attempts to compromise, you’ll be able to restore/have the relationship you dreamed of, even with someone who hurt you really badly. And this assumption isn’t limited to fandom: I’d even argue that it’s everywhere in the culture, hence why a lot of people feel like they “failed” if they have to get a divorce or make the choice to leave an unhealthy friendship. Personally, I feel like people could really benefit from more stories about how it is not only the case that the people you hurt don’t owe you their forgiveness & you can still become a better and happier person without the one you hurt in your life, & that while it can be really hard it can also be a good thing to leave a relationship, even if it’s one that once meant a lot to you. 

  But in all honestly, from my own perspective this kind of pairing is starting to read far less like enemies to lovers and far more like a horrible fantasy where you can pull whatever shit you want, even on the people you "love," & never be held accountable for your terrible behavior or even have to consider that maybe you were in the wrong. It's another facet that makes me larf every time I see people insist that fandom is an inherently "transformative" or "progressive" form of storytelling like friends you are literally just taking status quo toxic monogamy & rebranding it as somehow beneficial & romantic (X_X).

But as to anon’s last frustration, it is hard to know what is the appropriate response with this kind of thing...like for my own part I’m keeping my frustrations to my blog & now increasingly to posts that you would have to click on the “read more” button to see what I have to say, but I totally get the hesitation to give even a mild critique to big names in a fandom. Like I've now seen it happen repeatedly where someone who has a big name in a fandom will make something that's kind of shitty for one reason or another, someone will message them with some version of "hey, that's kind of shitty, you shouldn't do that," and the typical response is either to blatantly ignore the issue completely, or more popularly to make a giant crying circus that seems deliberately geared towards stoking emotions on both sides of the, for example, fiction does/doesn't affect reality issue so that something that didn't even have to be that big a deal gets blown out of all proportion, with the big name often framing what often started out as a very mild critique into a long crying jag about how the initial response to their kind of shitty thing was so mean/cruel and they're just a poor innocent & that YOU'RE the true racist/sexist/bigot etc. if you don't agree with their opinion. It must of course be noted that there have also been numerous instances of people taking it too far the other way & sending not just big names but smaller creators literal deaths threats over stuff like innocuous ships which like holy hell bells people that’s a horrible thing to do. But for the big names at least, the end result of all this fighting is usually that once the dust has settled they have more attention/fame/money/power in the fandom than before, and with anyone who might have a problem with their stuff feeling afraid to voice their opinion lest they be swarmed by that person's fans. In that way fandom does often seem to increasingly be geared towards presenting an “official” fandom perspective about various facets of a piece of media instead of allowing for a multitude of interpretations, and with criticism, no matter its shape or form or how genuinely warranted it may be, being hounded out of existence. I feel like a lot of this could be made less bad if there wasn’t this constant assumption & even drive to think that a different interpretation of or criticism of your favorite work of fiction or your fanwork isn’t a direct claim that you are a thoroughly loathsome individual (& maybe also if people cultivated an enjoyment of learning things about important works from a culture outside their own, even if what you learn clashes with your own initial understandings), but I guess we’ll see if that ever happens. 

So these are my general thinks about the Six Eared Macaque’s current fandom meow meow status & some of my bigger gripes with fandom tendencies as a whole. I stand by my idea that the most interesting & beneficial route for Macaque moving forward would be a kind of “redemption without forgiveness from the ones you hurt” arc--as I think was done pretty excellently with the character Grace in Infinity Train--and if for no other reason than gosh dern this monkey really needs to cultivate some sort of identity beyond his “Sun Wukong but worse” persona. 

[morkleemelon]

nct ideal types 2021 :: dream

127 version | this has been on my mind for a bit and I wanted to write it down- these will consist of confirmed facts and then my own thoughts. the latter part is, as it sounds, strictly from my opinion and observation and may well not be accurate. this is just for fun! proceed~

mark lee:

confirmed: likes someone with long black hair who is nice (on air nct show)

my thoughts:

he moved to korea to train when he was like 13 and has been busy as a bee ever since. I don’t know his life but I feel like he hasn’t really had the chance to date much if at all yet. this brings me to think he would prefer someone who can lead in the relationship

he grew up christian and seems to still hold those ideals. although if he really liked someone it wouldn’t be an issue, this makes me think he would be drawn to someone with similar ideals

he laughs a lot and gets along well with people who are funny (haechan, yuta, jungwoo). I think that he would like someone with a good sense of humor

he doesn’t spend money lavishly and prefers to use what he has (i.e. the jansport backpack, not having youtube premium, keeping all the gifts he receives in his bag). all of this points to him preferring someone modest and not wasteful

mark got jisung a bracelet that costs over $1000 for his birthday (what a good bro I’m cry). he likes songs like ‘I got you’ by Bazzi (mark superm quarantine playlist) which is about spoiling a girl. this all makes me think that although he is frugal for himself, he likes spoiling others and would like to spoil his significant other

From Japan official book vol 1, mark said he wasn’t sure what his ideal first date would be, but he answered that it would be to go to a restaurant and have a good meal because he likes eating. So someone who’s down for simple dates and perhaps also good at cooking (because our boy can’t even make an egg)

From the same magazine, he said he doesn’t care about fashion and would like his partner to “wear what she likes”. Doesn’t seem like he goes for style much!

huang renjun:

confirmed: n/a

my thoughts:

I strongly feel like he would want to feel like the ‘man in the relationship’. he would want to feel protective over his partner and that’s why I think he would adore someone smaller than him

he’s full of chaotic rage energy (in the cutest way that would never actually hurt anybody). to balance out these vibes, renjun would match well with someone calm and sweet

looks-wise besides being a petite person, I can envision someone very cute, probably with shorter, un-dyed hair

renjun is into sci-fi movies and shows and confirmed he believes in aliens (weekly idol). I think he’d be drawn to someone with a big imagination who likes sci-fi as well

lee jeno:

confirmed: n/a

my thoughts:

jeno is really really shy (when he met yeeun from clc to mc together, they said they couldn’t even talk at first because it was so awkward). I think jeno would like someone more outgoing but not overwhelming

I feel like his ideal type is literally like renjun- a little fiesty and literally, little. jeno has mentioned that he loves renjun’s voice too, so perhaps he would be interested in someone with a nice voice

he works out a lot and likes physical activities like biking and going to the gym. I think he’d like someone who values fitness and health too

he loves animals and has 3 cats of his own despite being allergic. because of this, I think he’d like a person who loves animals too

lee haechan:

confirmed: someone with a nice voice/ singing voice. someone with shorter hair

my thoughts:

he’s so extroverted and craves attention from whoever he’s around, and that wouldn’t be an exception for the person he likes. he’d want someone who looks up to him and gives him attention

he’s still really young and even enjoys movies like the kissing booth (I’m sorry I had to bring it up because I think it’s important). ignoring the actual bad parts of that movie, I think he’s interested in that young love, dancing together at the arcade, kissing in the rain, come over to his house in secret, type relationship

haechan seems to be especially close friends with foreign swaggers line (mark, johnny, jaehyun) so I’m thinking that perhaps he likes the western vibe

during oshiete Japan, he and Yuta were the only ones who chose to give three roses to a hypothetical ‘lover’ (they had to choose between 4 types of roses to give). the psychologist said that this means haechan is “flirty and attention-seeking” which makes a lot of sense. this adds to my point that he would like someone who gives him a lot of attention and good reactions

during a recent fansign (1/23?) OP asked “what are things girls do that makes you flattered?” to which he answered “when I did something wrong and get scolded, that scary look makes me flattered”. although it’s a bit awkwardly translated, this insinuates that he likes it when he gets scolded by a girl. *jaemin voice* sexayyy. thus, I’m adding that haechan likes a someone strong headed and not afraid to scold him

na jaemin:

confirmed: n/a

my thoughts:

he has a sort of 180 personality where he’s either really energetic or prefers to be in the background. jeno says that jaemin hardly talks at the dorms after schedules because his social battery is dead. this is classic introvert behavior so I think he would vibe well with someone patient and calm

he’s the sweetest boy and he volunteers often for unicef and was even cast to sm while he was volunteering. he’d appreciate someone who shares similar values and likes helping others

I think he often doesn’t think or worry about himself. he goes out of his way to please others and help others and often disregards what he actually wants because of it (i.e. taking his shirt off at the dream show even though he was uncomfortable I’m so sad poor baby). he needs someone who is thoughtful and who reminds him when it’s time to stop and think of himself

looks-wise, I’m gonna be completely honest when I say I think he doesn’t go for looks. personality and morals are key

his favorite member of snsd is tiffany. he never confirmed if she was his ideal type, but perhaps he’s attracted to her bubbly, girly personality

zhong chenle:

confirmed: he’s only into girls (vlive)

my thoughts:

this may be a stretch, but in a live he was doing, chenle was talking about which member of wayv princesses was the prettiest. he said something along the lines of ‘ew they all looked weird’ but later admitted that kun was probably the only one who ‘looked okay’. kun was snow white which brings me to my first prediction which is that lele likes the classic chinese beauty (black hair, pale skin, elegant, gentle)

chenle loves winning and he loves to be praised. although his mbti shows that he’s an introvert, he would crave the full attention of his s/o. someone who looks only at him

during the from home live, he was asked to act out a scenario where he accidentally ate his girlfriend’s food. haechan (who was acting as the girlfriend) went “buy me 10 more” and chenle just went “okay :)”. ngl, kinda fell in love with him then but this makes me think he’d want someone to spoil

park jisung:

confirmed: likes it when people call him 오빠 (oppa) - take this how you will

my thoughts:

debuting at 14, I’m quite sure he hasn’t had the opportunity to have a relationship yet. this being said, he also seems quite innocent and shy which is why I think he would prefer someone who knows what they’re doing and isn’t afraid to speak their opinion

just from vibes, I think he would wanna be with someone like a best friend to him. someone who’s down to just hang out and talk, play video games and watch movies etc.

he’s quite tall (the tallest in dream) so I think he’d actually be ok with a tall person maybe even around the same height as him

maybe not a definite need, but I feel like he’d be impressed by someone who can dance well since dancing is such a big part of his life

[goldenworldsabound]

For Francis: Vampire, Tarte Tatin, and True Name?

Thank you for stopping by, Set-chan! 😘❤️ Now then, on to your delightful questions~

Vampire - tell us about a time you were vulnerable with your partner.

That's quite a tricky question, isn't it? 😊 The answer is obvious to me. As you surely know, my daughter passed away unexpectedly. It was her birthday, some time ago. That was...a difficult time for me. I won't say more than that. Aura clearly wasn't sure what to say or do - but that hardly matters to me. They were there for me, and that was all that mattered.

Tarte Tatin - how do you like to spoil your partner? How does your partner spoil you?

Oh my favorite subject 🥰❤️What is the point of money and finery if not to spoil my beloved Aura? They do fight me on it, haha! The easiest way to get them to let me spoil them is through food - they can't resist that. Secondly, I like to buy things to adorn them with - dresses, suits, hats, jewelry and the like. Thirdly, all of that adornment is for an outing. So, you see, my spoiling of them is primarily in the form of activities! I dream and long for the day when I will get to take them on a vacation! They'll have no choice but to accept me spoiling them then! 🥰

And how they spoil me? Why, they've introduced me to so many things the commoners do! Like ordering and eating Chinese takeout! Perhaps more seriously, they've put up with quite a lot from me, heh. I can't count how many times I've tried to help cooked and completely botched it. But they've been patient with me. And they've helped me actually be able to follow recipes and produce edible food! It's incredible. It's not what I normally think of when I think of being spoiled, but from them...it feels very special.

True name - what is something that only you know/get to see about your partner, or something that people who don’t know them very well would never notice?

My poor sweet Aura has been through so much in their life at the hands of others. They've built this nigh impenetrable wall around themself from most people. They try to come off as this grumpy mean individual - and dare I say, they convince most people. But not me. I walked right through that wall! And now I'm blessed to see how they really feel, and to be treated to the kindness that resides in their heart. And I must say I am quite good at flustering them into a stupor and I doubt anyone else can say the same thing. 😌 truly a beautiful sight. To sum it up, I get to see them being vulnerable.

I also get to tell HAL what to do and he listens! Haha! I'm told that's not normal but I still don't really understand why he listens to me 🤔Aura seemed quite grumpy about it at first. I'll have to ask 😄

[thealexchen]

i’ve actually read both of the articles that you mentioned earlier! I could see where both of them were coming from at varying points, though shannon liao’s struck me as a tad harsh, as someone who felt very seen by Alex, particularly with regard to her asian-american identity, and the cultural details and familial attitudes you see displayed throughout the game (especially in episode 5.) I could see why others would like them to be more overt, but they’re still present & relevant as is, imo.

I'm happy you read and enjoyed them! Well, since we’re on the subject, I might as well give my fuller thoughts about all this. This answer got horrendously long, so I'm putting it under a read more. I really wanted to talk about this more fully, so thank you for sending this ask!

I definitely see Robert's point in his article. Alex didn’t need to be Asian for the story of True Colors to be told, but it’s still meaningful that she is so that Asian fans and fans of color can look up to her and feel represented. The Chens buck a lot of stereotypes too: Mrs. Chen was not a “tiger mom” and her kids and husband remember her fondly. Mr. Chen doesn’t push Alex and Gabe to excel in school, and in fact neither Alex nor Gabe went to college, but they still had happy futures. Alex isn’t the best friend or the Asian schoolgirl or the dragon lady or the Asian nerd. But at the same time, when Robert says "Alex never really talks about her thoughts on Chinese culture,” that’s like— well, what’s wrong with talking about it? Why not talk about it more explicitly? The words “Asian” and “Chinese” and “Vietnamese” aren’t even used in the game when "gay" and "lesbian" were, and that's a little disappointing.

I figured people would figure out Alex was at least Chinese because of her last name, but I saw some streamers unsure of what Alex’s ethnicity even was (“Alex is… Chinese, right?”). That was disappointing because Asians tend to be treated as a monolith when we’re so internally diverse. Also, it’s completely possible to miss that Alex and Gabe are also half-Vietnamese. Their mother’s name is Giang “Wendy” Chen, a Vietnamese name, but that’s only in the credits. There’s far less Vietnamese (and Southeast Asian) rep than Chinese, so I wish that had been made more explicit.

In Life is Strange 2, Sean and Daniel’s struggles (personal and institutional) were centered around their identity as half-Mexican boys. True Colors almost seemed to be going in the opposite direction in that Alex’s Asian heritage never really becomes plot-relevant, but Alex and Gabe’s background comes into focus in the last chapter.

Part of Shannon’s critique was that because Alex’s parents aren’t in the picture, the game can’t explore Asian culture through a familial lens. There is some truth to that: for children of immigrants in particular, their parents are their strongest (and sometimes only) link to their race and culture. I thought a big missed opportunity was exploring Alex’s possible sense of isolation and struggle to reconnect with her Asian heritage after being separated from her family.

After growing up with two Asian parents, eating Asian food, celebrating Asian holidays, likely speaking Asian languages, etc. it would have likely been disorienting and lonely for Alex to suddenly be raised by non-Asian foster parents and lose all those traditions all at once. Possible comments like “I really miss Mom’s pho” or “Do you know how difficult it is to find hoisin sauce in the stores around here?” could have inferred more at that specific kind of loss and isolation in Haven Springs. The game touches upon this very briefly when you look at Gabe’s shrine, and Alex does comment “I don’t even know if I’m doing this right… but I felt like I had to do something.” In this way, I find it especially poignant that she still held onto cultural traditions after so long.

But I still thought Shannon’s critique was overly harsh. The little details really do add up, like in Alex’s childhood home, and meant a lot to me too. And most importantly, there was representation behind the scenes too: Alex was voiced by two(!) Asian American women and the lead writer, Felice Kuan, is Chinese. I think Alex naming her mouse Shu-shu was my favorite detail. Because it’s the one detail you can’t miss. Every streamer remembers Shu-Shu’s name and loves how cute she is and they can probably infer it’s a Chinese term. It just is so visible and empowering in that way and my heart felt warm every time I heard someone say “Aw! Shu-shu!"

But that doesn't mean Alex's Asian heritage didn't matter at all. I really appreciated that Alex's backstory still mattered because she came from a poor, working-class immigrant family. Her life circumstances were used for drama, but none of Alex's suffering was racially motivated and that felt tastefully done. I’m gonna paraphrase a comment I saw on alliebeemac’s playthrough of episode 5: "It's no coincidence that both Alex and Ryan lost their mothers at a young age, but because Ryan's father was a military veteran and had a high-paying job as a Typhon foreman, he got to keep his childhood whereas Alex's entire world was torn apart... And if you want to look at it even more metaphorically, the white patriarch Jed was able to preserve his own image as a hero and 'good old boy' of Haven by literally sacrificing an immigrant family to the mines with the expectation that nobody would come looking for them. Whether you're an immigrant or whether you're a foster child, the system is saying 'we don't care about you.'"

And at the end, Alex tells Jed, "You want to look away and pretend the men you hurt weren't people. But I won't let you.” It's a deliberate stand against Jed (a white man)’s dehumanization of poor laborers, including her Chinese immigrant father. Jed isn't explicitly portrayed as a racist, but his actions come from a privileged, and subsequently racist and classist place. For me, it worked better than LiS2's portrayal of racism because it was subtler and more personal. Alex stands up against Jed out of a personal sense of justice for her brother (and her father).

Do I wish we had more? Yeah, absolutely. I wish Alex got to actually speak Mandarin or Vietnamese in the game because that's so rare in games, even though I knew that would be unrealistic because Erika Mori is Japanese. I wish the character artists had at least made a version of Alex and Gabe’s models without shoes, because it just didn’t look right to see them wear shoes in the house (especially in bed??) and even LiS2 had Sean and Daniel in their socks in some scenes. I wish Alex and Gabe talked more about their family while Gabe was still alive and Alex could have had that comfort of someone who misses the food and customs they used to celebrate. But like I said, one piece of media isn’t gonna please everyone. And Asian representation in particular is so tricky because not only is there not enough of it, but Asian Americans are so diverse and come from so many different backgrounds. Children of immigrants are going to feel more connected to their Asian heritage than third or fourth gen kids or mixed race kids for example. Everyone is going to have a different definition of “Asian culture” and “accurate representation.”

But on a meta-level, it really means so much to simply have an Asian face on the box of a major Western game ❤️ Like even just seeing the way Alex's eyes crinkle when she smiles or how other characters find her attractive (like Steph’s note during the LARP preferring Alex’s natural black hair), it feels so affirming. It’s incredible to see an Asian girl be called the hero of her own story, to see her succeed and fail and cry and laugh and fall in love and kiss another woman and be comfortable in her bisexuality. It acknowledges that the queer community includes Asians, that Asian girls can also be curvy, that Asian girls can and do struggle with mental health. And like Erika Mori said, Alex is a fully-realized character and that’s what makes her so compelling, first and foremost. She also has a strong moral compass and dreams and fears and is such an incredible role model for people of all backgrounds, and that’s what makes her identity as a queer woman of color so much more meaningful.