#also i do have thoughts on his relationship with raine and the different roles they play

[transcriptasareversa]

"Darius DOES care more about himself than the coven, he is the kind of coworker to clock in last and clock out first. Not because he’s ‘lazy’ but because he understands his worth in a system that doesn’t value it, yet demands the most of Darius anyway."

Yes exactly, that's precisely how I see Darius working. Always having an excuse to leave, always doing the bare minimum, sometimes even less, leaving things to the last moment. He knows he has no reason to put any effort on the Coven and so he doesn't, but while to everyone it may look like that's because he values himself more is also because he doesn't value the Coven.

On that regard I do wonder if the effort he would have put on the rebellion or reforming the Isles may have been baffling to an outside perspective. Like those are things he has reason to care about, unlike the Covens, so he wouldn't act in the same uninterested way, would he? I wonder if it took some people aback to see such a different facet of him, just a fun thought to entertain.

In terms of Terra not suspecting Darius, I think we can look at Eda's Requiem for a little more insight on that. After all, we talk about Terra not realizing Darius was a rebel, but Raine also didn't suspect him back then, like Raine heard him say "and your treachery whatever" and is still implied Darius had to approach them afterwards off-screen for them to work together. The way I see it, Darius constructed a mask, of an self-centered selfish person and hide under it for years. After all, one of the first things we hear him say when going to capture Raine and the others is "I was scheduled for some me time today, so hand yourself over before things get nasty", about an oficial mission in which he's supposed to be capturing dangerous rebels. Raine doesn't think anything of it, we the audience are just meeting him, so it makes sense it doesn't bring any bells beyond the first impression is meant to evoque, but Raine in theory does, which implies this is not unusual for Darius within the Coven.

In other words Darius could get away with being uncaring over the Covens because people assumed he was that way due to being self-centered, rather than unloyal. This would make sense especially for someone like Terra. Like, when you think about it, "me goes first" seems to be the common philosophy among the Coven Heads, it fits Terra and Adrian pretty well for example, Terra is someone that relishes in power and therefore her interest in the Coven comes from the power it can give her and the same can be said for Adrian. There could be some projecting there, Darius doesn't need to act loyal for his act to be effective when people can just assume he's just a little more interested in himself than he's in the Coven. Everyone is like that, after all. In that regard it makes you wonder if Raine was too earnest and that's why they stand out so fast.

In any case, it does explain why Terra wouldn't suspect Darius over others, Darius is uncaring and self-centered after all, not the kind of person you see rebelling. The perfect mask to hide under (good enough to trick some of the audience, even to this fucking day).

Is very telling than when Dana talked about him, it was to say “at the end of the day he has his priorities, and his priorities are to help people and to care for those that he loves”, aka a very caring person, about a character whose first impression was meant to evoque an imagen of someone self-centered. It becomes very clear that was a mask and a relevant one, the reason he wasn't suspected. After all, Terra not suspecting him was also a choice the writers had to make. In other words, you're supposed to conclude his mask is effective but also that is a mask. He's not uncaring and he's not self-centered and he's not selfish, but he hided under those descriptors for years and let people draw their own conclusions.

So yeah I would call him a pretty good actor.

Ohhh I like this a lot! It’s taken me a while to respond but believe me; I read it like immediately and it actually influenced my latest fic in a very brief way, just a throwaway line or two, but like. I’m accepting this into my personal canon now.

I wouldn’t be shocked if it’s both the truth and a lie? Those are the best lies. Darius DOES care more about himself than the coven, he is the kind of coworker to clock in last and clock out first. Not because he’s ‘lazy’ but because he understands his worth in a system that doesn’t value it, yet demands the most of Darius anyway.

So yeah, he will use coven time and resources to take care of himself! He’ll hold the coven accountable to its alleged role, ask what the coven can do for him, not the other way around. He’s content to do the bare minimum because Darius won’t delude himself into wasting energy earning approval that won’t be given. And this works just fine with his actual rebellious activities and motives, too; Do less for the coven and use your spa breaks as cover. And have real spa breaks while you’re at it, better the coven budget goes to that than its oppression!

So of course when Darius suggests they cancel the meeting, everyone accepts it as him being a procrastinator and just not being in the mood, rather than cover to do his real work and sabotage the loyalists by discouraging them from their jobs. This paints this picture of Darius to everyone else as this cushy, germaphobe witch who’d probably faint over outdoor work.

So he’s selfish and without a true loyalty to the coven, but in a way where he’ll still defend it to defend his own luxury. Meaning Darius won’t stick his neck out for the coven but he won’t stick his neck out for wild witches either, his is the path of least resistance and thus ultimately the coven. If anything, he’ll resent wild witches for ruining his free-time, which Darius does lean into during his performance.

Coupled with this and the whole bit about teasing Raine over doing theatre, and it’s like. He definitely paid attention to the lessons, or at least had an easier time applying them without stage fright. He’s a good actor who knows when to sprinkle in genuine feelings to make it more convincing. And as you’ve said, Raine comes across as more hotheaded, wearing their feelings on their sleeve. Their rebellion was pretty open and obvious, inciting civilians to join them. Because they’re the performer who grabs attention, after all.

[daughterwifed]

LOVEY-DOVEY

first comes love

ft. leon s. kennedy x fem!reader

tags. established relationship, hurt to comfort, angst, fluff, leon’s mental problems, future smut, ddlg

note. the first of hopefully 3 chapters?!! i have lost the ability to write im ngl,,, i promised this fic over a year ago and never got it out but i forced myself thru it bc it’s been sitting around like unfinished for a year LMFAO so it’s clunky.. doesn’t make sense… and also i do want to make clear this isn’t supposed to be a baby and marriage = happy marriage sort of fic i just see that ending for this couple in particular.. anyway ignore typos,, ignore any mistakes and pretend it makes sense. feedback / rbs always appreciated!

i would also appreciate if you read this post about plagiarism by a user on both tumblr and ao3

lovey dovey

“I used to hear Hola! and jump—Oh, gosh, I’m not racist or anything, I voted���“ Ashley adjusts her monogrammed scarf, looking at him with her new face. It’s the same, but different. Tighter, brighter, when her eyes widen her brows don’t raise and when she pouts her chin doesn’t dimple. 

“Ashley.” Leon interrupts to get her back on track before it gets any worse. 

D.C. does its best to dampen his mood, torrential rain soaking him to the bone, but you’re wearing these tiny winter booties that make his day a little better. 

“I just bet, I mean I know Leon never tells you anything about Spain, or anything at all.” She waves her hands in a flourish, not a hair out of place. “I signed an NDA, I don’t know how long they last, but I’m sure it must be over by now, I don’t really believe in them to be honest–What is a piece of paper going to do? I mean, it’s not like the piece of paper knows who I’m telling.” 

“She’s too little to know,” Leon says out of instinct. He takes the role of Daddy very seriously these days. 

“Leon.“ You frown at him, it’s so cute he’ll think about it for hours. 

“Sorry.” Is all he can come up with. 

“Anyways, I wanted to ask about plans,” Ashley says, the exchange going unheard by her. 

(If she’s not talking she doesn’t really seem to care about the conversation at hand.)

“Plans?” Leon doesn’t follow, and neither do you.

“Oh, you know.” She dabs at the corner of her lip with a handkerchief that matches her scarf, her lipstick leaves a pink smear on the edge of her cup. It’s heart-shaped. Fucking Cupid over here. “Haven’t you ever thought about babies, Leon? You’re pretty old now.” 

That’s not her card to play. Shouldn’t he be asking her about babies? She’s only getting older, not many eggs left in her basket. But, y’know, that’s not very PC, and Leon really isn’t that bad. He’d like nothing more than for her to move at her own pace - it was hard enough seeing Sherry grow up, passing her off to a guy nearly ten years younger than her—And Leon is in no place to talk about age gaps, but guys are immature and stupid, he would know.

“Ashley,” he interrupts once more, though he has nothing to say at all. Marriage. Babies. Jesus Christ, you are the baby. He’s got jackets older than you. 

“We haven’t thought about it—I mean, I ask him about it sometimes, but nothing serious,” you tell her honestly, the corners of your mouth drooping downwards in a frown.

You are one unhappy little girl and he is in for one hell of a ride back home. 

“I never make plans that far ahead,” he says, rehearsed, before your soured mood runs off the edges of your face and into the rest of the room. Distemper in a dogfighting ring. 

“Hm.” You make a noise beside him, knee bumping his under the table. It’s a touchy subject. An untouchable subject, actually, because he refuses to sit down and talk about it, he shuts it down immediately. You can’t make babies with a baby, that’s just plain wrong. 

(But you can fuck said baby every which way. You can spit in the baby’s mouth and spank her raw. That’s perfectly normal.) 

“The next time I see you, Leon, it better be at your wedding,” Ashley warns him, a burnt orange blazer draped over her slender shoulders as she primps herself up enough to face a camera or two. “I’m happy to help with, well, with everything, I have a lot of time and money to waste so don’t think you’re bothering me. Oh and another thing—Leon?”

“Yeah?” He shifts from foot to foot, the arm circling your waist drops to his side limply. 

“You can call me anytime, you know that, right?” She stares at him, right through him with her big brown eyes. “And you know I can see when you’ve read my texts, right?” 

Leon nods stiffly, he stands there like a fucking scarecrow when she wraps her arms around his neck.

“I know,” he mumbles into perfumed hair. 

When you ask him, “Why didn’t you hug her back?”

He tells you, “I didn’t want to make you jealous.”

“I don’t get jealous.” That’s right. You’re a very self-assured little girl with your head screwed on right, he can’t go around telling such obvious lies. 

“Dunno, just felt weird,” Leon admits, plucking the fuzz off your sweater to keep his hands busy, “haven’t seen her in a long time.”

“That’s your fault.” You walk ahead and he knows you’re pissed. 

“Yeah, I know.” 

The air crackles with tension, heavy enough to shift the layout of Leon’s home a little to the left—Or maybe you really have gone and done that without telling him, taking over his world with parts of your own - it wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary. That’s got to be some form of gaslighting. He can’t even see the TV from this angle. 

“Baby?” Leon calls out.

You poke your head out of the kitchen. 

“Did you move my chair to the left or am I losing it?” He shifts in his seat, moves from left to right, leans back to try and understand what has gone on. 

“You’re losing it, I moved it to the right.” You wipe your wet hands on your skirt, it borders on frumpy, makes your hips look even wider. He pretends that he hasn’t ever thought about knocking you up. 

“Why, baby?” You’re testing his patience, being short with him, huffing and puffing and sticking your nose in the air.

“Because it looks better, but I can’t do it when you’re home ‘cause you never get up.” Carefully, you edge towards him, skirting around the room until you find yourself in daddy’s lap. 

The weight is grounding, his hands find your hips in no time, fingers dimpling the fat as he squeezes down to ease whatever is going on inside of him. “You can’t stay mad at me, baby.”

“Yes I can.” 

“Who’s gonna take care of you then, hm?” Leon asks, sliding his cold hands under shirt to grope your heavy tits. He pretends that he hasn’t thought about running his fingers over your lace bra to find milky wet patches. That he hasn’t thought about you, glassy-eyed and in desperate need of daddy’s help, pushing your leaky tits against his chest and begging him, pleading with him to take on the role of dairy farmer for the day.  

“I can take care of myself.” You shrug. So cold, so cute. “But you, daddy.” You kiss his nose. “Without me, you can’t even remember to take your meds.” 

That’s right. You did well without him. You didn’t need a daddy until you found the right daddy. You wanted a daddy so dearly, but you can take care of yourself just fine. You can pour your own juice and you can tie your laces and fix your hair just fine, it’s just better when daddy does it for you. 

“True,” Leon mumbles, he kneads your breasts contemplatively,  “but it’s good to ask daddy for things, I don’t want you getting hurt doing it on your own.” 

“I have bandaids.” Comes your rebuttal. 

“Baby, you’re being mean.” Leon’s voice verges on a whine. 

“I’m not being mean, Leon.” You let yourself melt into him, fat tits spilling through the gaps in his fingers. His hands are small and there’s too much of you to contain. “Why don’t you want to marry me?” 

That’s a loaded question. One he can’t quite answer because there’s no real answer and he doesn’t really want to answer it.

“You’re too good for me.” 

“Oh my goood,” you groan, rolling your eyes so hard you age backwards, and it really makes you look like a teenager—A little girl—It makes him feel like your father. Not your daddy, but your father. And hell, he’s old enough to play the part. 

“What?” 

“It turns me off when you say shit like that, like ohhh I’m such a old loser, I can’t even get it up, baby, why are you even with me?” You do your best Leon impression, it almost makes him smile. “You literally want everyone to feel bad for you all the time, and you know what, Leon?”

“What?” Leon says again. He’s feeling parched. Lightheaded. Sick. Psychotic. Bad. Just fucking bad. Everything gets so bad when you’re not smiling at him.

“I can’t feel bad for you if you don’t tell me what’s going on—You don’t tell anyone what’s going on so nobody feels bad for you.” You stand up, his hands are left cold and empty. “Only you feel bad for yourself, you literally sit around all day drinking and feeling shitty about sitting around and drinking—You don’t even want to do anything anymore, you didn’t even want to see Ashley today! She loves you so much, she’s your friend and you can’t even text her back because, because… Well, I don’t even know!”

“Baby—“

“You don’t go to therapy and you forget to take your meds, and, and I have to remind you all the time and—“ You take a breath, your lips moving soundlessly as you count to ten. “I don’t mind doing that for you, I like taking care of you and I like when you take care of me—It makes me happy that you let me y’know do that…” You gesture to a stray pacifier on the coffee table. “And I love you, Leon, but it’s just like you never want to fix anything, you just want to stay like this and I don’t want that, Leon—“

“Babe–“

”I told you that I wanted to get married, I told you that it would be a problem for me if you didn’t want kids, Leon—I don’t want to be with you if you don’t want that with me, I told you that before we got serious and you said yes and now—“ You throw your hands in the air, cutting yourself off with a half-aborted sob and splitting his heart right down the middle.

“It’s not like that, baby,” Leon starts gently, pushing up out of his armchair so he can hold you like you need to be held, “I didn’t… It’s not you, you know that don’t you? You’re perfect, you’re a good girl, it’s just…”

“What?” You press your face into his chest, searching for comfort as you run your hands over his back. “It’s what?”

“It’s me.” 

“Oh my god, Leon.” Your voice breaks, and you look up at him. For a minute it’s like you’re in soft-focus, like you’re a love letter gone yellow with time, sepia-stained and unspeakably tender and—and the reel is burning away because you’re too beautiful to last forever. You’re the most fragile little package, stamped to handle with care and he’s tossed you onto someone's lawn and you’re going to be plucked away by a porch pirate and—God, he’s such a fuck-up. “I can’t believe you just said that to me.”

Might be cliche, but it’s true. It’s him, not you. It’s always him. It’s why he’s been alone for so long. It’s not work, it’s not what happened in Spain or Talk Oaks, not even Raccoon City—Not mom, not dad, not Ada or Jack or Ashley or the fucking President, it’s not some grand, tragic circumstance—It’s just him. 

“If I marry you…” Leon’s mouth dries up while he flicks through a mental Rolodex of excuses. 

I drink too much. I’m depressed and probably bipolar. I’m infertile. You’re a baby, I can’t have babies with a baby. You’re too young. I’m too old. Especially for kids. I look like I could be your dad. I’m suicidal and needy and if we have kids what if you like them more than me? I work a lot. What if I put our kids in danger? What if I put you in danger? What if I’m a shit dad? What if you stop liking me after we tie the knot? You’re so young, you have your whole life ahead of you and you want to marry an old man? You should leave me for someone younger. Please don’t leave me. 

All of it is true, although none of it is an honest answer to your question—The answer is quite simple really—Leon won’t marry you because he refuses to be happy. 

“If I marry you,” he says again, eyes flickering from your eyes to your pout, “what will Sherry think?” 

Your hands are in tight fists by your sides, bottom

lip trembling as you struggle to remain impassive—And he knows you like the back of his hand, like the veins in his dick—That wrinkled nose could only mean one thing. You’re not about to cry, you’re mad at him. 

“Leon.” Your jaw tightens, grinding your teeth into a fine powder. “You know Sherry isn’t thinking about you, right?”

“How could you say that?” He asks, somewhere between hurt and confused. 

“I’m just… Like, fuck, Leon!” You angle your face away from him, cycling through every stage of grief as you gather your thoughts. “It’s not about what Sherry wants or what she’s thinking or whatever, it’s about what I want and what you want.” 

“But—“

“She isn't a part of our relationship, Leon, nobody is.” You tilt your head back, looking up at the ceiling and squeezing your eyes shut. Praying or doing a breathing exercise. “Like… Like you don’t like Jake and she still married him because he makes her happy, Leon—Why don’t you want to be happy with me, Leon?”

“I am happy,” he lies. 

“Don’t lie to me, Leon—Do I not make you happy, is that what it is?” You look at him helplessly and he stands there with nothing to say. 

“You do make me happy,” Leon insists softly, you’re the only thing that makes him happy. Light of his life, apple of his eye, the centre of his whole entire world.

“I just don’t get it anymore, Leon.” 

Oh, god.

“I don’t… I made it clear that I wanted something serious, I want to marry you and I want to have kids with you—I don’t get why you would lead on me like that.” You cross your arms over your chest, bracing for his answer. “Has all of this been for nothing?”

To be entirely frank - Leon is being selfish. 

He’d rather keep you in limbo than let you move on with someone else. He doesn’t want to think about you in bed with someone else, calling someone else daddy, letting them touch you and take care of you—It makes him dizzy, he’s getting jealous of a guy he made up in his fucking head. You’re the only good thing in his piece of shit life and he has no intention of letting you go—He really should, and he probably would if you asked him a year ago, before the D word but now—

Leon feels out of place. 

If he’s not your daddy, then who is he? 

“You’re just… You’re just freaking out ‘cause Ashley put it in your head,” Leon retorts childishly, “we don’t need a baby to be happy.” You’re the only baby he needs to be happy. 

“Are you kidding, Leon?” Your nose is running and you wipe at your face with balled up fists. “Don’t make this about Ashley, you know that isn’t the problem—I really can’t believe you, if you're not serious about me then why are you still with me?”

Truthfully, he didn’t mean for all of this to go so far - then your toothbrush joined his, your Sylvanians found a nice spot on his mantle next to the potpourri, the whole daddy thing happened—

And all of that means that this is not a midlife crisis or a fling or a distraction. 

It means that you’re his girlfriend, the woman he loves.

“I am serious about you.” 

We just want different things, would be the right way to put it. It’s not entirely true, but Leon doesn’t know how to tell you that peace is unrecognisable to him. He doesn’t know what it feels like, it scares him, the finality of marriage and kids and all of these childish dreams he had so long ago—It’s scary, and it takes a lot and Leon could shoulder the whole fucking world if he had to and the whole fucking world is a lot. He’s done it before. Jesus Christ, he’s fought creatures that go beyond the scope of human understanding, but all of it comes to an end. Fights end. Missions get completed. Damsels are saved and monsters are slain and Leon gets home okay as he can be. 

But this… Marriage. There’s no way out—Like, there’s divorce, obviously, but something about marriage is permanent. He can’t shoot a gun and get out of a marital dispute, and he can’t outrun a missed birthday because ultimately he has to come home to you.

Coming home to you sounds good. It is good. It’s the reason he bothers coming home after work instead of bumming around in bars like he used to. But, but, but it’s about trust and working together and while nothing will really change you’ll legally own him and he’ll legally be yours and that’s a lot of responsibility for someone so young to take on and technically you’re already doing all of these responsible things for him and—Marriage is just different, okay?

“I don’t think you are, Leon.” You blink at him slowly, sadly. 

“I am,” Leon insists because he is serious about this. About you. He loves you and he knows that, but he’s fine with what you have now. Girlfriend-Boyfriend. Daddy and baby. “I am, baby, but don’t you think that we're moving into this too fast?”

“It’s been two years, Leon.” Another slow, sad blink, you look off to the side. “I told you I was dating to marry, Leon, I told you what I wanted, I want kids with you—And I’m sorry but you’re not getting any younger, if you’re just wasting my time—“

Something sharp and ugly takes hold of his chest. ”You just think I’m gonna blow my brains out before I give you a baby, that's all you want from me.” That isn’t what Leon wanted to say, but the room is getting too small and that struck a fucking nerve. 

“Excuse me?” 

Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. A rotten sole-crushed peach, that's all he is, it’s true. And he doesn’t deserve you, but he doubles down selfishly. “You think I’m gonna blow my brains out before I give you a kid,” he repeats, “that’s why you’re freaking out about this now.” Leon’s so very talented at fucking things up. Paperwork, his liver, his entire fucking life. 

“No… That’s not—Are you kidding me? Is that all you got from this, Leon?” You’re looking at him with these accusatory eyes and you’re not calling him daddy or tugging at the back of his shirt for attention. “How could you say that about me? Is that what you think of me?”

Leon would like to say no and he’d like to apologise, instead he fumes silently, teeth clenched so tightly they’ve started to ache. “C’mon, use your big girl words and tell me the truth.” He’s not very tall, but he’s taller than you - he looks down his nose at you. 

“Don’t talk to me like that, Leon.” The shift in his behaviour is new, you’re used to his self-loathing, his laziness and reluctance and his general unlikeability, but this—Leon has never been mad at you, and he doesn’t want to be mad at you and he’s more mad at himself than he is you—But still, like, he looks mad at you and he can see the way you’re trembling, puffing out your chest and standing your ground to appear so much bigger than you are. It breaks his heart, he’s the worst daddy ever. The most dick-headed jerk of a boyfriend and you’re still here. Fighting for him, well, with him, you’re here and you’re fighting with him, that’s still something. 

“Why not?” Leon tilts his head to the side, his face softening in faux confusion. “You like it so much, don’t you?”

God, maybe he’s not so normal after all, and you haven’t fixed him, and bad thoughts always come back, and if he was normal he wouldn’t be wanting to jump off every balcony and walk into every main road and disappear into bodies of water.

Leon isn’t normal. Big surprise.

He’s just starting to realise that it doesn’t matter how many people love him, it doesn’t matter how many medals he’s awarded, it doesn’t matter that he’s a treasure to some degree, an old gun worth keeping—None of it matters, Leon realises, none of it will ever fucking matter because he is who he is. 

Leon is going to lead a miserable dogshit life because he can and he will and it doesn’t matter how many good or bad things happen to him, it doesn’t matter who he falls asleep next to - he’ll still feel shitty in the morning. 

(At the end of the day, he’s a Kennedy, and no Kennedy has ever been particularly lucky.) 

“I’m trying to be serious, Leon, and you’re acting like a child!” Your bottom lip quivers, and you’re probably wondering where your daddy has gone. “I can’t… I can’t believe you’re talking to me like that right now.” 

Neither can Leon. 

Guilt coils in his gut like a snake, constricting and hissing in the back of his head that he should know better, he’s so much older, he’s your daddy, and he’s meant to take care of you. That’s what daddies are for.  

“I don’t want to… I don’t want to force you into this, Leon, I don’t want to make you marry me if you don’t want me—“ He does want you. He wants you so bad. “—I don’t want to force you to have kids with me if you’re not ready, I just wish you had told me before I moved in with you—“ The hurt that crosses your face strikes him right in the heart, teardrops beading your gossamer lashes. 

“No, no, no, I’m sorry, baby,” he says softly, quietly, earnestly, not daring to take a step closer because he doesn’t deserve to feel you or smell you or touch you, “I want to be with you, I love you.” 

“I don’t know anymore, Leon.” You look to him helplessly, blinking up at him with these big doleful eyes. “I don’t know what you want me to do.” 

“I’m sorry, baby,” he says, equally as helpless, “I don’t know.” 

He’s your daddy, he’s meant to know, but he doesn’t, so he just stands there like an idiot. 

“I’m sad,” you tell him honestly, “I’m going to go upstairs now.”

Leon goes to follow you.

“Don't follow me.”

Leon goes back to standing there like a fucking idiot. 

[writingoddess1125]

Theater Brat 🎭 pt. 2

Didn't expect to make this to turn into a series but due to popular demand I gotcha guys! Also I got the other part set too

Support me on Ko-Fi ☕️

Part two Also kinda Fluffy + bit of Angst

Buggy couldn't lie- he had enjoyed his time with you. Greatly- often whining and throwing what was equivalent to a temper tantrum when others watched over him, so you had become essentially in charge of his head of sorts.

You'd feed him, humor him with your smart comebacks and even shared a interest with him. That and he couldn't help but find you attractive, which he often exploited in a series of dirty jokes. The two of you could judt sit for hours and talk about different play, or whatever came to mine. He had never had a person in his life he could do this with- Even Shanks hasn't been this open to conversation.

Buggy often talking about different things he had done in his young life in order to love the theater. Even admitting in some way it was for attention he went into his performing roles. Laying on your bed you looked to Buggy who was on his respected spot on the nightstand.

"Well, Buggy I'm sorry to Rain on your parade but- It doesn't sound like Shanks betrayed you-" You deadpanned.

"But he did! I would have been rich and started up my crew early! I could have done so much!!" He yelled, Angry just thinking about his old friendemy- you chuckled

"It sounded like an accident and then he saved you- honestly you should be happy, You're a feared Pirate Captian like you wanted and have abilities to boot" You pointed out, Smiling as you watched the gears turn in his head at your words. Before he replied your bedroom door slammed open- Zoro standing there with a frown at the sight of the two of you.

He had grown very suspicious over the freindly relationship you'd develop with Buggy. While no one else spoke on it and Even Luffy thought in some way it was funny, Zoro had been very resevered and his attitude growing a bit frosty at you.

"We are landing in Tangerine Town soon-" He said calmly, walking forward and picking up Buggy and Tossing him in the burlap sack quickly. Ignoring the Fuss from the head as he shot you a cold look.

"Be ready" He said before leaving with Buggy head. It was rather uncomforble being in the town and seeing Nami with her village- a bubble of resentment there even when learning from her sister and later Nami herself what had taken place and sobbing to Luffy for help. The whole time Buggy having been silent on Zoro's hip... listening. That evening when everyone was trying to rest for the fight in the morning to help Nami and her Village you heard shuffling from the bag Buggy was in-

"(Y/N) get out now.... Arlong is too strong.. please" You heard him whisper. But turned away and continued to sleep. Hoping he thought you asleep...

At daybreak the plan was set heading to Arlong Park to liberate the people, As the battle started it was like chaos broke out, Fishman surrounding you all and beginning to attack- Your specialty wasn't fighting but you tried your hardest. Eventually being that you couldnt help but notice a headless body hanging next to stuffed animals.

Making your way towards it, you pulled out the short Dagger you'd been using to defend yourself. Ready to help cut the restraints that held him up, However as you got close you saw a larger Fishman appear next to the shack, He looked similar to that of a pufferfish- he was twice your size and cackled at seeing you, Holding a massive sword which he swung at you and you barely dodged.

A scream ripped from you as you dodged and ran- A Dagger wasn't going to beat a giant pufferman with a damn claymore. You ran into the forest, hearing heavy footsteps behind you which made you glance back.

Seeing Pufferfishman chasing you ran as fast as you could. Your lungs burning as he tried to outrun him. Tears brimming in your eyes as his quills pulled and he shot out poisonous darts.

While you tried to weave through the the trees it seemed lucky wasn't on your side- as one of the poisonous darts stuck in your arm. You screamed in pain and stumbled, trying to keep a running bur the pain felt almost unbearable. Stumbling to the ground as you held your arm- it felt like fire.

"Hahaha! Such weak things you humans are!" The Fishman yelled, getting closer to you as he puffed up to deliver a final blow.

"Chop Chop Canon!"

Two arms shot out with knives attached, Slicing the Fishman down the sides- cutting off effectively its arms. Before a flying hand turned and sliced off the head. The Fishman crumbling to the ground before your feet as the arms returned to its owner-

Buggy panted as he was covered in blood ot seemed having killed some more of Arlongs men to find yoh. Rushing to you quickly as you held your side, you gasping in pain as you felt the harsh burn of the poisonous dart in your skin tears rolling down your cheeks as you watched Buggy look over the injury. Using his gloved hand and in one fluid motion yanking out the dart making you scream in pain.

"I know I know. Bare with me just a bit more Doll"

He muttered. Pulling off his bandana first before leaning forward and putting his lips to the wound before starting to suck and spit out the mix of poison and blood. Holding your arm tightly to keep it from spreading as quickly as possible as he worked.

After a few moments of this he tied his bandana tightly over the wound. Looking over your face, noting the pale appearance.

"Come with me (Y/N) we need to leave my shop is close-!" He said ready tonpull you but you quickly resisted. Pulling back slightly.

"I can't go with you Buggy- I have to stay with my crew..."

Buggy grabbed your hand, Looking you in the eyes like he wanted to say more, fight, throw his fit or even beg. However he gave only a saddened sigh and released you.

"You really don't want to come with me?..." Buggy asked, it was odd- your chest hurt at seeing him in such a way. It wasn't exactly pathetic but it was like you had kicked a puppy..

"Just N-Not now- I did promise to draw one of your shows afterall. But right now my crew needs me-" You say, figuring this was the best option. His eyes softened in disappointment but he nodded non the less.

Buggy looked up, seeing the figure of Usopp running it looked like he had faced his own battle already. He looked back at you and carefully released your hand, backing away before he whistled loudly to catch Usopp attention before bolting. The fellow strawhat seeing you and rushing to your side.

Usopp helped you up, frantically ranting about how dangerous this all was before trying to lead to back to the group. Once the battle ended and the crew ended up back at Tangerine town you received the antidote for the poison which luckily had been mostly sucked out before it took effect. Laying by the fire you stared tried to let the day roll off you, it had been too eventful and you didn't know how to feel. Buggys disappointed eyes Seeming to appear everytime you closed them. A shuffle of someone sitting next to you drew you from your thoughts, seeing Zoro seated next to you with his second plate.

"He helped you didn't he- The clown?" Zoro asked bluntly, staring straight ahead. You looked to him softly before nodding and messed with the bandana still tied to your arm.

"Yes..." You mutter softly, Zoro giving only a grunt in reply before continuing his meal. A uncompleted silence falling over the two of you. Nothing else was said and while you enjoyed the party, you couldn't help but feel conflicted non the less.

That night back on the Going Merry you felt... Uneasy? Tossing and turning- Was it because you had gotten so used to Buggy being there? His head laid on a Pillow next to the nightstand? You sighed, Rolling over again to stare out the window. The movement of the waves finally starting to lull you to sleep, the long day slipping behind you as you felt relaxed enough to ignore any odd feelings.

"Mmm!?" You hummed, eyes wide as you felt a form pinning you down a hand placed tightly over your mouth to keep from screaming. Blinking quickly your eyes trg focused on the form above you.

"Don't scream" You hear the hushed voice whisper in your ear- A shiver running through your form as you recognize the voice. Buggy- Seeing him above you, it was far different then the disheveled head you had grown uses to- He was clean with fresh makeup, a few peices of his blue hair having slipped from his bandana and hat indicating it was freshly washed paired with the sweet apple scent that wafted off him.

Slowly he removed his hands from your lips, glancing at Nami's bed to make sure she was still asleep before meeting your gaze.

"Buggy? What the hell are you doing here?" You whispered harshly. Trying to sit up for a second but he gently pushed you back down into the bed.

"Well.. I made a promise to you that you'd see one of my shows- without the 'unpleasant bits" He used quotation fingers at the unpleasant bits, his eyes not helping to roll but he smiled down at you anyway. Paired with traveling down to snag a peak at the rest of your sleep attire- Which both made you blush lightly and pinch what was the closest to your hands- in this case his thigh.

"Oh~ Kinky-"

"No-" You give a faux glare, before glancing around quietly. One show couldnt hurt right? It wasn't like the crew would know about about it-

"Fine- One show" you whisper out, a wide smile pulling at Buggy face as he climbed off you gently. Fixing his large hat like he was preparing for something bigger.

"Good, and just to make it easier- Sorry (Y/N)" He said softly, holding up the stumble where his left hand should have been. You look at him confused before turning to see his hand floating next to your head as he squeezed a Muggy Ball. The red smoke filling your lungs as the world started to spin, as the world turned black you felt warm hands grab you.

[three-realms-archive]

The Three Realms Archive: Masterlist and Rules!

Welcome to the Three Realms Archive, where you can find stories about the beings that reside in the Three Realms and beyond! Whether it be stories of the Avatars of Sin, the students of Prince Diavolo’s RAD exchange programme, or of the incredible human who became sorcerer under the tutelage of the Wise Sorcerer and Master of the Seven Rulers of the Underworld… You can find their stories here!

Atmospheric introduction aside, welcome to this side blog for writing to do with Obey Me! And Obey Me! Nightbringer. These will most likely be bits and pieces that come to me when they come.

My ideas inbox is currently open (use the ‘Ideas Here!’ tab to send them), but please read the rules below first!!!

This blog is new, so bear with me whilst I work on aesthetics and getting started on writing/uploading some stuff I've written :D

Rules and masterlist under the cut:

Rules and Considerations

Please be kind and respectful to each other!

For personal reasons, this is a non-NSFW blog. Please do not suggest NSFW in the ideas box beyond slightly suggestive - any requests like this will be ignored. I will do my best to place content warnings where I think it's needed.

The ideas inbox is called such because you can be as vague as you want - even a single word. However, it is also called this because they are ideas and - depending on various factors like my schedule, how inspired I am, and how much certain ideas inspire me to write - there is no guarantee I write for every idea, or the same amount for every idea. Thank you for understanding in advance :D

I’m a fairly new OBM player, so if anything I write is contrary to the canon, please let me know and I can add a note or rectify it. Most of these are meant to be “imagine the character in this situation” and my personal interpretation.

Have fun!

Masterlist

🌟Inspired by an ideas inbox request!

Oneshot Fics

Checking In: The House of Lamentation family check into a human-world hotel.

Beware MC, the Kind: Sorcerer MC is gaining a reputation similar to that of their teacher, Solomon the Wise. But for what reasons?

Let's Form an Idol Group: Will Asmo's next attempt at making his brothers into a boy band succeed? (This one has a cute commenting challenge - please check it out!)

Dramatic Drama: Telenovelas can be very emotionally-investing for demons.

🌟A Small, Little Lie: TSL Arranged Marriage! AU. The sentence "I love you" means very different things to the Lord of Masks and his spouse and former-knight, Henry.

Love Me, Or Not: Satan pulls on flower petals, hoping to get the same result you did.

Was Never Your First, After All: A childhood friend visits you and Mammon realises ‘first man’ doesn’t suit him much anymore.

First Dates: A collection of first date thoughts from each Avatar of Sin.

Short Snippets

Ante Up: Mammon finds he's a lot more motivated to win quickly when he's at the casino with you.

The RAD School Play: Ideas about MC’s role in a school play at RAD.

Six Pillows and a Tattered Armchair: An angsty (ref. to Lesson 16) accompaniment to ‘Beel is Pillow’, exploring Belphie’s relationship with sleep in the aftermath of his actions.

The RAD Cheer Squad: 2, 4, 6, 8 - who do we appreciate? … Probably not whoever came up with the RAD Cheer Squad.

What Is Up, Fellow Celestials?: Luke finds this one human really, really cool. MC and Simeon suffer the consequences.

Just Wanting To Be Included: Mammon and Beel post a FabSnap video, but their brother just wants to be included.

Debuting Change: Diavolo invites a special guest to a special occasion.

Just A Study: Solomon tries to convince himself that living with you was just a study. Spoilers for Nightbringer Lesson 40!

Relent: Belphie has a super, super smart plan to get you to cuddle in bed with him.

A Rainy Day Indulgence: Simeon dances with you in the rain, and it reminds him of something.

Headcannons

Unhinged™: A bunch of silly headcanons that could each be their own anime episodes. Chaotic things the OBM! cast have done. Inspired by this post by @leniisreallycool.

Series

Beel is Anything, If You Beel-ieve

A very unserious collection of slice-of-life snippets, where Beel goes on a journey to become as many things as possible.

Beel is Pillow: Beel is pillow.

Beel is Paint: Beel is paint, according to Asmo.

Beel is Anime: Beel is anime, and Levi is not okay with this.

🌟 Scars, Wounds and Minor Inconveniences

A series exploring slice-of-life snapshots of the Obey Me! characters in the aftermath of Lesson 16. Each chapter is made up of two posts: a oneshot centred around one of MC's scars, wounds or minor inconveniences; and a post with the general headcanons inspiring the oneshot. Features references to injury and spoilers for Lesson 16 of OG Obey Me!.

Phantom Pain (Oneshot + Headcannons): Mammon is used to your 'needles-thing' by now. He doesn't mind it. After all, he has his own things he does every now and again.

A Weak Wrist (Oneshot + Headcannons): Your wrist is still weak from the TSL Quiz; so Lucifer doesn’t understand why you trust Leviathan more.

Nightmares (Oneshot + Headcannons): Belphegor relishes you and Beel growing further apart... until he doesn't, when Beel's dreams change.

Splintered Arms and a New Bedtime Routine (Oneshot + Headcannons - Coming Soon!): The angels are confused at the weird routine you and Beel have before bedtime during a sleepover at Purgatory Hall.

Better, Quicker Reflexes (Oneshot + Headcannons - Coming Soon!): Lucifer used to think his form of discipline was effective.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading TGCF: Chapter 60

For those who don't know, I am reading TGCF for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag Bloopitynoot reads TGCF. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read BUT if you followed along with my SVSSS read, the rules and vibe are the same.

I can't believe I just finished my first reading journal!

I started using this notebook when I did my live reading of SVSSS (went through all of the books with it!) and now I am just finishing the last page here at the beginning of book 4 TGCF.

I do have another notebook (similar book different cover colour) ready to go for tomorrow. I am so excited to crack open the fresh one :D

Let's get into chapter 60!

I will give him this, Shi Wudu worked hard as hell to "save" his brother. Absolutely wild he did it this way but damn, he did it. p131

This group would honestly get nowhere without Hua Cheng. Prime example is Hua Cheng pointing them towards the upper court colluding with the reverend p132

The reverend being scholar He checks out to me. If I found out someone stole all my shit and tried to set me up for a terrible death, I'd be pissed too. p135

omg, I get the desperation in trying to help your family, but sacrificing another person (not to mention we found out that list must have been several others that failed too) will not help the relationship with your sibling. p137

oh man, General Pei is so desperate, he dared to show up at the rain master's realm. p138

Dang, the twists continue

I had the inkling about Shi Wudu, but this got worse this chapter! I still need to know the role General Pei has in this- what are the stakes, what is the motivation to hunt down the wind master??

[biggie-chcese]

Why I think Yomi Hellsmile should've died in Chapter 4

(this essay isnt what you think it is. spoilers for the whole game btw)

Alright so let me preface this by saying that this is not a Yomi Hellsmile hate essay. I like Yomi. He's my favorite peacekeeper. He's funny, he's entertaining, and he makes for a very effective antagonist. So why have him die? Well, for the same reason I wouldn't have Yakou live: I think it makes for a better story.

So here's the true title of my essay: A Critique of how Rain Code's Narrative Handles the Peacekeepers (and by Extension, Yomi) and their Downfall

Let's start with Yomi's downfall in canon. Yuma and Vivia find out his role in Huesca's murder and, ultimately, Yakou's death, and are angry beyond belief. But they're also helpless to do anything as they escape the labyrinth with vengeance on their minds. Of course, this gets shut down immediately, and then Makoto ex machina comes in with Martina in tow to arrest Yomi for his money laundering and bribery. And right then and there, in one fell swoop, the peacekeepers are completely eliminated as a threat in the story to be replaced by Makoto.

But okay... isn't that super underwhelming? The peacekeepers and Amaterasu corp have been the main driving force of the game's primary conflict, and yet somehow they are completely eliminated as a threat because Makoto grabbed a few files off screen. And also, this brings me to my first major issue I have with this ending:

Part 1: Why the fuck do they care?

No I'm serious. Why do the peacekeepers care? So what if Yomi bribed his way to the top? You mean to tell me that the cops who spent the entire game assaulting and antagonizing civilians give a shit? They're never shown to have any sort of problem with their corruption. They send people to be executed on whims and knowingly, regularly falsify evidence on murder cases. At best the peacekeepers are indifferent to the suffering they cause, and at worst they are gleefully complicit in it. So, again, why do they care about Yomi's money schemes? In fact, they only benefit from Yomi's rule because he gives them the power to freely instill fear in Kanai Ward's citizens. The game never, at any point, has an "are we the baddies?" moment from them nor does it ever even try to have at least one peacekeeper question Yomi's authority, even when he's throwing them under the bus. Throughout the whole game, they stand as a completely one-note, cartoonishly evil representation of police corruption.

So why the sudden heel turn? The resolution of chapter 4 feels so jarring to me because the game has zero buildup to it. This also applies to Martina's return. Actually let's also talk about her.

Part 2: So... Martina's return lowkey is kinda lame

Don't get me wrong, I was pretty hype when she came back. But also, the magic wore off pretty quickly for me because I didn't understand why she was suddenly a whole different character. I suppose her brush with death gave her some time to contemplate her actions, or perhaps she felt indebted to Makoto and asked him what she should do, or maybe Makoto held her life over her head and told her to change her act or he's letting her get cubed. Who knows? We get nothing expanding on this so it could be anything.

I feel like people kinda forget that Martina was just as corrupt as Yomi? Like, she is not his helpless victim. I'd even argue that their relationship isn't abusive. Martina is in it with her own interests in mind in addition to just being a massive sadomasochist. I cannot stress this enough: whatever tf she and Yomi had going on, she was completely into it. Even at the end of chapter 2, she was drooling over him and the idea of punishment... until Yomi crossed a line.

Y'see, Martina thought she was special. She thought that whatever punishment Yomi had for her Aetheria Academy blunder, she'd come out of it alive, because she's his beloved right hand. Yomi then showed her that she's just as disposable as the rest of his underlings by ordering her to be brutally executed. That is when she becomes a victim.

Anyway, I'm saying all this to make a point that Martina hasn't shown any interest in being an honest cop until chapter 4. It's completely out of nowhere, just like with the other peacekeepers.

"But Biggie," you may be thinking, "why would Yomi dying fix these issues?" Well I'm so glad you hypothetically asked!

Part 3: We love missed potential, baby!

Kodaka sometimes does this thing where he introduces an interesting concept that plays with the rules of the game... and then doesn't commit to it. Think like the double murder clause in Danganronpa V3 chapter 3, where they mention that if two separate murderers act in the same day then only one of those murders counts. Then they do nothing with this, and instead create a very weak chapter.

This is a similar problem I have with the tail end of chapter 4's mystery labyrinth, which is a really amazing labyrinth that introduces a really amazing concept: taking down a secret mastermind. After reaping the culprit's soul, they have this cool, brand new secret area that... does nothing. No, I'm serious. Nothing happens. All it does is piss Yuma and Vivia off and waste everyone's time. They find out Yomi's involvement in the case, but they still don't do anything with that. Sure it brings a whole new feeling of hopelessness, but doesn't that make Yomi's downfall literally five minutes later through the mundane actions of someone else off screen seem all the more underwhelming? From a gameplay and storytelling standpoint, I think this is just... a cop-out. I think it'd be cool if he was involved enough in Huesca's murder to count as an accomplice, then with Vivia and Shinigami at his side, Yuma reaps Yomi's soul. It's a decent payoff for the NDA and the player while supporting the game's message about the importance of finding the truth. And god does the game need support in that regard, because the Mystery Labyrinth almost never helps and Yuma instead gets saved by someone else (which would've been nice to expand on if we go this route bc there's something interesting about Yuma calling for the labyrinth to kill people for ultimately no reason, but they don't do anything with that and that is a WHOLE other essay lol).

But this is not my main reason that Yomi should've died here. I wouldn't feel so strongly if that was the case. No, my problem lies with a character that isn't Yomi, and what is part of the entire reason Rain Code's plot exists.

Part 4: Is Makoto fucking stupid?

"/lh" by the way. Makoto is my second favorite character in this game behind Yuma, and I adore him. His story, his motivations, his undying will to be a protector of a people that no one else will protect, by any means necessary... he is such an incredible character and antagonist and I genuinely adore him. But I have one eensy weensy, teeny weeny little issue with him:

Why did he need the detectives to oust Yomi?

Makoto claims in the ch 5 labyrinth that the reason the detectives were brought over was to oust Yomi, which leads me to believe the command for the detectives to come to Kanai Ward was his work, not Number One's, then Number One simply caught onto this and took advantage of the situation to sneak in. Though, that's just a guess on my part, mind you. So I suppose he was just desperately hoping at least one of them would take care of Yomi, but isn't that weird?

The detectives don't ever find the evidence of Yomi's money laundering and bribery. Makoto does. The detectives don't ever bring Yomi's corruption to light. Yomi... already does that without their help. Actually, why didn't he secretly team up with the Resistance for that? Too busy ignoring Dohya District's glaring issues, Makoto? Too busy turning a blind eye to your people's suffering?

Uh. Anyway, the only detective that actually does something beneficial for Makoto and kills Huesca is Yakou, who was already in Kanai Ward. And don't tell me that Makoto accounted for Fubuki and Desuhiko's fortes here because that part of the plan was all Yakou's idea. If Makoto could've predicted this, he would've just called the detectives necessary to this plan instead of luring in a bunch of them at once to get slaughtered.

Tons of detectives died coming to Kanai Ward to do... what? Distract Yomi? Could the World's Greatest Mind truly never come up with a better distraction for a guy who didn't even realize his Martina Cube™ order never came in? Yomi isn't shown to be some sort of hypervigilant supergenius nor is he nearly on Makoto's level. Could he truly not have outsmarted Yomi and led him astray long enough to grab a little binder of paper?

So, once again, you may be wondering how Yomi's death would fix this. Well, Yuma, a detective, is the one who kills Yomi.

Makoto is well aware of Yuma using the Book of Death at this point. So what better way to get rid of Yomi than to carefully manipulate the detective who has the Perfect Criminal Murder Tool™? Makoto can't just assassinate Yomi himself- that would make him the main suspect and he'd have to do a lot of PR maintenance to get the rest of Amaterasu Corp off his back. But Yomi mysteriously dying of a heart attack while Makoto isn't anywhere around... well, that's different.

"But wait," you may be thinking, "doesn't Makoto want to keep Yomi alive because he's a Kanai Ward citizen, and he loves Kanai Ward?"

Good point! But doesn't that also apply to Yakou, whom he also had a hand in manipulating into that crazy sui-homocide of Dr. Huesca? Or, what about Fink? Remember him? Makoto killed him for "knowing too much." I know that information is missable, but it's there. And don't tell me it's just because he's a hitman and has killed other Kanai Ward residents, because Yomi has sent many residents to their deaths without trial... not a huge difference. So a body count isn't really on Makoto's "should I kill them" conditions, it seems.

If Fink gets killed for "knowing too much," then Yomi shouldn't be exempt from this, especially when he was leaking homunculus information to the outside world. That goes far beyond "knowing too much." It just doesn't make sense.

But you know what does? Makoto actually using the detectives to wipe his hands clean of Yomi's mess. Yakou is used to take care of Huesca, Yuma is used to take care of Yomi, and Makoto gets to sit back, relax, and watch everything play out just as planned.

And later, in the next chapter, when Yuma learns about Makoto using him like this, he realizes that he's truly been had.

Part 5: How I think it should play out

I'm not being a hater. In fact, I deeply love this game and have a lot of respect for Kodaka and the writing team, so please don't take my little rant as some sort of effort to bash on my favorite video game because that's not what this is. I'm not gonna prop myself up as a better writer than anyone on the team because I'm not, but I'll still try my hand at rewriting this scene to fit my personal taste. So I would like for you to imagine with me, the end of chapter 4...

Yuma and Vivia find the secret area of the labyrinth and find out that Yomi has been masterminding Huesca's murder. Shinigami points out that, hey, that's why the labyrinth is falling so slowly: we haven't finished it off! Vivia stands by Yuma's side, and all of them, driven by their rage and desire to see justice be done, reap the soul of the true mastermind through one final strike of the solution blade. Labyrinth collapses, snap back to reality, oop there goes gravity, oop there goes Yomi, who collapses on the ground.

The peacekeepers are surprised and approach the body. They find that Yomi is dead. They're shocked, and as this is happening, Yuma isn't sure what to feel. Is he glad that he managed to avenge Yakou? Not quite, because Yakou is still gone, the hitman is still out there, and everything still hurts. But a part of him feels... vindicated. Vivia seems to have equally complicated feelings about this. For once, it was... kind of worth it to find the truth, even if a bit messy.

Well now the peacekeepers confirmed Yomi is dead, but now they're accusing the detectives of this. And they're honestly kinda right. Yuma and Vivia realize that they're in kind of deep shit, but the sound of Martina's voice comes from off screen asking what on earth is going on here, making everyone freeze.

Enter her, Makoto, and Seth (I'll say why he's here too in a moment). They're surprised at the sight before them, but Makoto only pretends to be. Then you see it... Martina and Seth go from visibly suprised... to relieved. And there's something oddly triumphant, yet a bit chilling about Makoto and the two people we've witnessed Yomi throw under the bus standing over his corpse. It feels thematic now, as if righteous judgement has come. And... it also solves the "what happened to Seth" question, lol.

Makoto shakes his head and sighs, stepping over the corpse and approaching Yuma and Vivia as he comes up with an excuse: "I always told him that those temper tantrums weren't good for his blood pressure. I guess his heart couldn't take it anymore."

He then nods to the others. Seth instructs the peacekeepers to clean up the body, as they rot quickly in this city. There's this foreboding feeling in the peacekeepers' obedience and efficiency, and Yuma begins to wonder if he did a good thing. Did his actions change the peacekeepers for the better, he asks himself, or did he simply shift the power over to someone worse? Shinigami tells him she doesn't know.

Makoto approaches them with good news: they found and arrested the hitman! Yuma, frightened, does not address that and instead asks him why the other high ranking peacekeepers are here. Makoto says that they... owe him a favor. Martina expresses her gratefulness for him stopping her execution order and asks if they can do anything else, to which Makoto replies telling her no, they're doing an excellent job. After some more conversation, Seth, Martina, and the peacekeepers then leave with Yomi's body to let Makoto talk privately to Yuma and Vivia. Makoto apologizes for their loss of Yakou and offers some faux sympathy. They're both... still conflicted about this conclusion, but Makoto tells them they're free to go, so they'll think about it later. Oh, but before they leave, he gives Yuma a little gift: a suspicious black box. Of course, Yuma can't open it just yet- it's a surprise!

Then the rest could play out pretty much normally (though an encounter with zombie Yomi chapter 5 seems inevitable and also awesome).

I think this alone would solve every issue I addressed before. The peacekeepers do not change out of nowhere. They simply reallocate power and there's still this feeling of them being a threat as they're now directly connected to the game's true antagonist. There's now a theme to Martina's return with Seth's presence as well. There's now a narrative purpose to that final section of the mystery labyrinth with proper payoff. And, most importantly, Makoto's motivations to use the detectives make more sense.

By the way, if any Yomi lovers think that he should stay alive for a potential return in the sequel... isn't it such a blessing that Yakou's DLC introduced this pretty neat little pill that could still make that possible? Just saying.

So yeah. Yuma, for the sake of narrative payoff and character writing consistency, please kill this clown. Thanks for reading <3

[ghostlycleric]

We all know this was Mike admitting that he was paying attention to Will all day. There are barely any frames of Mike looking at Will to prove this, but that’s because they didn’t need them.

Mike was trying so hard to act like a good boyfriend. He got El flowers, kissed her on the forehead, made small talk, held her hand, sat next to her, shared her milkshake. Even with all that, you can feel how awkward and empty the actions are. All three of them are uncomfortable, for different reasons obviously, but Will is literally the only reason Mike has to be uncomfortable. He thinks he’s on good terms with El, and he doesn’t know about Angela.

He reveals in his fight with Will the source of his discomfort was Will “moping and barely talking”. He was paying so much attention to Will, like he always has. When El is clearly uncomfortable about Angela taking her away, Mike is sass-faced and sipping on his milkshake, just like his dad. He doesn’t notice anything until he sees how uncomfortable Will is. He doesn’t stand up until Will does.

He opens up their fight by scolding Will for not telling him El was having problems. This is what he meant: “I know I was paying more attention to you than to El, but if you had talked to me I would’ve know I needed to pay attention to her like I do to you!”

Mike was doing more than just paying attention to Will. He was still operating like they were a team, like they always have been.

No matter what, they’ve always shared the important stuff. Throughout season 3 they kept working together even though they were fighting, but this time Mike thought Will stopped (ontop of the radio silence between s3 and s4). This is the day he felt like he truly lost Will. He felt like they weren’t a team anymore, felt like he was the only one trying to be.

That’s what Mike really meant when he equated worrying too much about El with losing Will. He spent the entire day at RoM worrying about how he was appearing with El, how he was acting as a boyfriend. This was him admitting that he got so caught up in his role playing that it messed with his head and made him try to shift all the blame onto Will. (I’d say it reaches beyond RoM and into their season 3 fighting too).

That’s also why being a team is the first thing he brings up in his ascending list of relationship titles (working together, a team, friends, best friends). In Mike’s mind, being a team with Will is something that comes before basic friendship. With Will, being a team is the lowest they can be “reduced” to during their fights. Mike took some time to think on the extra context from their fight to realize that Will wasn’t actually abandoning him in that regard.

And, during their first heart to heart after the fight, Mike seems so giddy about Will being receptive to his “looks like it’s gonna be up to us again”.

To Mike, that was confirmation that they still were a team. It was confirmation that they were just miscommunicating, and Will still loved the idea of being a team with him. This heart to heart is what gives him the courage to make his apology; it was his proof that he really was just misreading things in RoM.

Mike felt guilty about paying so much attention to Will that El ended up getting hurt. Just like he felt guilty about paying so much attention to El that Will ended up getting hurt (the rain fight).

Mike can’t balance both of them in his life at the same time, and no matter how hard he tries, the balance always ends up tipping towards Will’s side.

[hana-no-seiiki]

COMME ON FAIT SON LIT, ON SE COUCHE.

⟣┄─ ˑ 𝐈. ✧ PAIRING: YAN! NEUVILETTE x SCUM! READER (ft. yan! other characters + mystery major pairing)

⟣┄─ ˑ 𝐈𝐈. ✧ TW/CW: Typical Yandere Themes: Stalking, Delulu, Yun’s vv broken French. Canon Divergence.

⟣┄─ ˑ 𝐈𝐈𝐈. ✧ SYNOPSIS: When given the power to flood the world with your admirer’s tears and skip work, who were you to reject it? | This happens prior to the Archon Quest

dedicated for le sims ( @o-tears-o-tides ) , aka the object of my platonic love and affection. happy birthday employee!!

Fucking with Neuvilette was your lifestyle. Figuratively that is. You wanted him to work harder if you were to provide him with the more literal definition of the term but regardless —

— making him suffer was your favorite hobby.

You held the prestigious role of documenter at the esteemed Palais Mermonia, where the dramatic tale of "Furina's Courtroom Crying Sessions" unfolded under the watchful eye of Neuvilette. In addition to chronicling these legal theatrics, your literary talents blossomed, weaving novels and insightful commentaries based on the trials you meticulously transcribed. This dual creative and professional endeavor earned you a devoted following throughout Teyvat and established influential connections with prominent figures across the nation.

Your relationship with Monsieur Neuvilette started off differently than what many would assume. Those privy to your early interactions could discern an undeniable enchantment on your part towards this man. Undoubtedly, he exuded an aura of elegance, elevated prestige, and an unwavering work ethic, all of which captivated admirers across the spectrum of society. His demeanor possessed an intoxicating allure for young ladies and gentlemen alike, leaving an indelible mark of respect and awe upon those fortunate enough to witness it.

“Monsieur Neuvilette.”

You greeted him with a slight bow, resisting the urge to smile at his presence. He reminded you a bit of someone from back home. A man that you’d do anything to receive a single praise from.

“Ah, Mx. [Y/N] to what do I owe you the pleasure?” He looked up from his documents. He too had to resist the urge to beam at your form. After all you were one of if not the only person he felt like he could never have enough time with.

“It’s just that I thought you’d be home by now. In any case I have this coffee a friend gave me but I can’t drink it . . .” You looked to the side, breaking off eye contact from your superior. He would have frowned at the action had it not been accompanied by a sweet gesture of yours. You always excused your good deeds with some nonsense about self-interest but he knew you well enough that he could see through it all.

“Thank you.”

Then, you realized that it rained whenever he felt sad.

And when there’re intense rains there would be no work.

And when there was no work, you could stay at home or go out and do whatever the hell you want.

Also he liked you and whatever but that was besides the point! You could slack off and fulfill your sadistic needs.

And so began your journey to find what made your senior co-worker tick. Most of the time it was when you gave other people your attention ( aside from Furina for some reason ). A single headpat towards either Freminet or Lynette caused some light rain. Rejecting his advances caused the skies to stay blanketed for hours. Whenever you were absent it poured cats and dogs.

And lastly, when you and Lyney were practically fucking with words it was as if the Raiden Shogun herself was here to cry alongside him.

The man practically saw you as more valuable than the water he drowns himself with.

It was all you ever wanted and more.

Despite your excessive amounts of free time, you still found yourself to be stressed and tired. Due to your high profile job and connections, it was a must to move from place to place frequently as to avoid paparazzi among other dangers to your health and privacy.

You were planning to check the Fortress of Meropide that day to . . . have a date with Lyney. Don’t look at me like that! You two are the ones with the weird taste in scenery.

“Oh! Your Grace. How do you fare?” You bowed politely. You could feel the glare from the magician beside you burning as bright as his vision.

The man was a menacing person from looks to begin with, but there were also other reasons you often felt something crawl up your spine whenever you two met.

He always stared at you like you had done something wrong. When he was the former criminal between you two! Really, what a crude man. His trial was one of the biggest hits of your career so at least you had that to owe to him.

You still remove the chills you felt when he simply admitted his guilt.

“Mx. [L/N]. I was told to deliver this to you.”

“Oh? I didn’t know that the Duke of Meropide also worked as part-time delivery men.”

“Trust me, this is works for my own self interest more than the sender.”

You gave him a pointed look. Well those words didn’t seem suspicious at all. You shrugged as you examined the object. A letter. Cold pressed paper — the expensive kind too, bound together by stamped blue wax and what seemed to be a miniature lakelight lily.

Inside — in the most elegant cursive you’ve ever seen — was . . . a poem. It read as follows;

Ma gouttelette du ciel,

Telle une étoile dans la nuit,

Ton amour est mon miel,

Dans ton regard, tout est infini.

Tes sourires, doux rayons du jour,

Illuminent mes jours comme un phare,

Dans ce monde, tu es mon seul séjour,

Ton amour est ma plus belle fanfare.

La tendresse de tes mains,

L'éclat de ton rire mélodieux,

Sont pour moi de précieux biens,

Qui éclairent ma vie, radieux.

Ma gouttelette du ciel,

Dans ton amour, je m'égare,

Ton essence est mon miel,

Chaque moment avec toi est un phare.

It only took one line for you to recognize Neuvilette’s work. His water tasting hobbies was somewhat common knowledge to the public, and Lyney was less of a poem man and more of a showy partner.

And so, after making sure his eyes were on you, you ripped it apart.

“That’s a bit too harsh is it not?” Lyney spoke with a nagging tone, yet his eyes were filled with the utmost delight.

“Monsieur Lyney. You know of its contents? Has your father ever told you not to pry into other people’s business?”

“Perhaps. But we’re friends aren’t we? Friend’s don’t hide anything from eachother.”

You sighed. You hated it when he knew where to hit. “. . .Then can you do me a favor and use your vision for its disposal?”

“My pleasure.”

Orange flames barely appear for a moment before it is doused by the sky’s tears. But even then it was enough to destroy the letter.

“Your Grace—“

The clock was ticking.

A few months after you’d heard his screams, you found out that the traveler would be arriving to their next destination soon. There was only a small fragment of a moment to lose for preparation. The rain was getting unbearably strong. You could not count the amount of times you’ve had to replace your umbrella.

In any case, you had invited Charlotte for a chat at the cafe. Partly because of her vision which helped with the rain, and mostly because you wanted to gossip with her as you usually did when slacking off.

Those works of yours outside of your actual career at the Palais Memornia don’t make themselves after all.

“Rumor has it that young women of have been disappearing of late. Do you have any clues on this phenomenon yet, Charlotte?” You leaned unto the table. Your signature smug smile on your lips as you presented your question to the young lady.

“Not yet. Wait — aren’t I the journalist here? Why are you asking the questions? Don’t tell me you missed another deadline again.”

“I just want to get ahead on my writing. The Steambird must have gotten a lead, no?” You dipped on your tea as you spoke, gaze directed at its reflection of your face and the dark skies above.

“So you can slack off some more?”

“T’was what my doctor had prescribed. I need to take care of my mental health too, yknow.” You smiled, poking your cheek in a cutesy manner.

This was no good. You were getting nowhere in your investigation and your anxiety bit at you as time could only pass by. You bit your nails. What would he do? How would he bypass such a situation? Oh, how useless you were without him.

“[Y/N]!”

You almost don’t react to that name as you were overtaken by your thoughts. It seemed that you spent too much time worrying that Charlotte wasn’t even at your side anymore.

“Ah, Lady Furina. How may I be of service?” You stood from sit in a jolt. You were guilty of looking down at the archon from time to time but appearances must be kept in public.

“I came to personally escort you to Palais Memornia. We have a case that requires your presence.” She coughed. An unusual shaken demeanor on her. Not that she was a completely confident person all the time, but this look on her particularly screamed fear.

But what would an archon be afraid of?

“Urgently.”

“A case? But with this rain. . . surely — “

The rain abruptly stopped and with its sounds disappearing, a deep voice makes its way into your ears.

“It is yours, [Y/N]. You’re under arrest for suspicions of colluding with the Fatui.”

“Monsieur —“

He looked away from you before you could finish your call. You feel metal touch your skin as none other than Wriosthesley himself puts cuffs around your wrists.

“Stay put, Mx. [Y/N].”

You eyed the Iudex from beyond the ‘glass’. This chamber had not existed the last time you visited the Fortress. Yet here it was, almost an exact same replica of your room — yet it did not feel like home at all.

You supposed Fontaine in its entirety was not home at all.

“You framed me.”

You were lazy. Incompetent even. But you would never collude with those miscreants.

At least, those were the lies you fed yourself in order to feel better about the betrayals you made in a day to day basis.

You could imagine the looks on your colleague’s faces. Would they be surprised, neutral, would they even care at all? Or would they be so utterly hurt by your actions that they fall into a spiraling abyss of despair?

You yearned to witness it all.

“All you had to do was to accept me.” His gloved hand touches the material between you two, a ripple forming from his touch. You were surrounded by what seemed like primordial water.

“I would have forgiven your sins. I would have made you be reborn anew. Innocent and pure as water.”

The water parted for a brief moment but you do not dare do anything foolish. You stayed put, remained still as Neuvilette reached through, and allowed the dragon to drag his thumb across your jaw and lips.

“All you did was push me away.”

And then — he pulls your head through the opening.

You close your eyes. One smallest movement would have your neck turn into foam.

“[Y/N], ma gouttelette du ciel.”

Perhaps, you had no need to see all the other’s fall into hopelessness. After all, the man who put the most trust and adoration into you was right here with you.

If only you were able to empathize with him. If only you were able to return his feelings and live a fulfilling life filled with love.

If only you weren’t cursed to feel nothing for him at all.

“Comme on fait son lit, on se couche.”

After all, what the Doctor wills is what the patient gets,

and if you must sleep in your deathbed this day and suffer the Iudex’s judgement — then so it shall be.

⟣┄─ ˑ IV. ✧ DIVIDER

[ TRANSLATIONS ] [ MY FRENCH IS VV RUSTY SO PLEASE TELL ME IF THERE ARE BETTER REPLACEMENTS/TRANSLATIONS FOR THESE] :

Ma gouttelete du ciel- My droplet from the sky/heaven/my droplet of heaven etc.

Comme on fait son lit, on se couche - You made your bed, sleep on it / You dug your own grave.

[theunholybastard]

It's me again! How's your holiday weekend going if you celebrate? If you're up for it, can I get a fic detailing the social hierarchy of the ghouls? I'm curious to see what their social structure looks like. It doesn't matter to me if there is a plot or not. Nor does it matter if there's porn or not.

Hey, lovely! 👋 I'm doing great, besides holiday shopping kicking my wallets ass 😭 I hope everythings going great on your end! Wishing everyone a fun and safe holiday season <3

Tbh I've never given it much thought before, but obvs it would make sense that the Ghouls have a sort of pack structure and hierarchy. And now that you got me thinkin' about it I have a few ideas to share😈🙏

Era 4/5 Ghouls/Ghoulettes Social Structure Headcanons

(for the most part SFW, some brief mentions of the hanky panky)

First off,

Ghoul packs are separated by era. The era 4 and 5 Ghouls are all in one pack, and the era 3, 2, and 1 Ghouls are in entirely different packs of their own. Ghouls are naturally very territorial, so they rarely interact with members of the differing Ghoul packs. I say rarely because Sunshine and Mist actually happen to be girlfriends, and unfortunately for the others, they just have to hold back their instinct to hiss whenever Sunny comes home smelling like a different den, and vice versa.

Roles are an important factor in every Ghoul pack. After being in a pack for a while, Ghouls tend to pick up on each others mannerisms, and even start to think like each other. (AKA, they all share one braincell) This makes it easier to decide on rules and roles within the pack, since they can (for the most part) all collectively decide on it without even having to verbally discuss.

Aether is what you would call their (un)official leader. He's strong, gentle but firm, and despite being a mostly relaxed guy, he isn't afraid of putting his fellow Ghouls in their place if needed. It was easy for all of them to come to the conclusion that he is who they want to follow. He loves being in charge, and the rest love it too!

Well, all of them except Dew, who has made quite the habit of challenging Aether. It's nothing personal obviously, he's just a hard-headed little shit and craves the power and control Aether has. He's never had a very good relationship with authority. Luckily, Aether's able to set him straight real quick when they get back to the den. If you don't hear from Dew for a few days, he's probably stuck in a cage, and not always in a kinky way.

When Aether got replaced by Phantom, though he was still considered the leader back at the Ministry, they needed someone to take over while touring. Finally, Dew gets his chance to take charge! Right? WRONG! That's right, Aether's second in command is Rain! Yeah, Dew wasn't happy about that.

Rain wasn't comfortable with it at first, either. Normally leaning more reserved and soft-spoken, he felt he was in no shape to be in charge of any his fellow Ghouls. But once again, without it even having to be discussed, all other Ghouls seemed to look to him for leadership. And Rain has never been one to disappoint. He ended up adapting to his new role fairly easily, adopting a more confident and outward persona. And Dew, with his sickeningly sweet soft spot for Rain, challenges him a little bit less. Only a little bit though.

Cumulus, at the end of the day, is the glue that holds the pack together, serving as a sort of protector. Shes like the mom friend of the group, a matriarchal like figure who makes it her duty to take care of her pack however she can. She holds such a commanding yet comforting presence, making her perfect for her role. Being level-headed and intelligent, she's also the one they look to for guidance if neither Aether or Rain are available.

If any of them are in need of comfort, she's the one to go to. If any of them are having a fight/dispute, shes the one to sternly scold them and help them make peace. Oh, did Dew cut his finger open again? She's got bandaids ready. Oh, is Rain feeling a bit lightheaded? She's got a bag full of snacks with her at all times. Some creepy guy hitting on Cirrus? They'll never find his body. I have to stop myself from talking about Cumulus now or else this is gonna end up being too long I'm so obsessed with her omg

Ghouls are highly social, and if you were to ask which Ghouls are most commonly seen paired up together, I'd say they all are around each other pretty equally. They form bonds very quickly, especially with other Ghouls, and with their natural separation anxiety, they quite literally need constant companionship. They are hardly, if ever, seen alone, and you will usually see the whole pack together. But that doesn't mean they're always all together.

When Ghouls do split up from the pack, it usually is because one or more Ghouls has gone into heat/rut. And as fun as it is to fuck it out, they can't risk having potential kits to worry about. During this time, they will settle into groups of 2 or 3 to keep them socially satisfied until the whole pack is back to feeling better.

When this happens, Cumulus and Cirrus are inseparable, so they are always paired up, no exceptions. (They're girlfriends, your honor!) Sometimes Rain will pair up with them, since Rain shares a particularly close bond with the Ghoulettes, but more often than not he's with Dew or Mountain, not wishing to be a third wheel.

Aurora has no preference as to who she pairs up with, she quite literally is madly in love with everyone. But most commonly she's seen paired with Swiss, because even though he is ALSO madly in love with everyone, he may be madly in love with her a bit more. Plus, they're both SO insatiably horny, so it works out for the both of them.

Aether usually goes for Sunshine or Moutain to pair up with. They're just so much less chaotic than certain friends of his (*cough* Dew and Phantom *cough*) and Aether enjoys being around a Ghoul he doesn't have to constantly monitor and make sure they don't do anything stupid. Well, besides that one time Mountain tried to hug a bear, but Aether doesn't like to talk about that.

But much like Aurora, Sunshine has no preference as to who she's paired with, and usually just pairs with the first Ghoul who asks her, or join Cirrus+Cumulus. And Mountain likes pairing with Rain, so if Aether is too late to ask either of them, that means he's left to pair with Phantom.

Aether doesn't mind too much, it's not like he hates Phantom, in fact he loves him! But he can be... a bit much sometimes. He's grown used to it though, considering they pretty much grew up together in the Pit, Phantom is practically a younger brother to him. Besides, it's not nearly as rough as pairing with Dew. Though it does get a bit stressful when Phantom sleepwalks...

-

[writing-with-emy]

Us - OBX SMAU | EXTRA: ALL ABOUT: ONLY YOU

⤷ Us. Masterlist | OBX Masterlist

Summary: You and Rafe were the it couple of Hollywod, High School Sweethearts, from nothing to everything. You both got everything, an amazing Friend group, an amazing Fiancée and a home in the City of Angels, Los Angeles. But nothing ever stays pretty in Hollywood now, does it?

A/N: A behind the scenes for all The Albumsfrom Y/N!

CW: being in love, y/n being horny, trust issues, anxious about living through the same thing twice in a relationship, English isn’t my first language so I’m sorry for my Grammar Spotify Playlist ▸ 20 | Playlist ▸ My Letters | Playlist ▸ Escapism | Playlist ▸ Only You | Playlist ▸ Lonesome | Playlist

TRACKS: ▸ NONSENSE ABOUT: This song was for all the people who BEGGED for another love song, it was actually pretty easy to write for Y/N since she still was in love with Rafe. It was easy to get all these feelings up from her, since this is still how she felt after years of dating. ▸ PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ABOUT: Even though they‘ve been dating for years, the thought back in her mind of him doing the same stuff as Grady was still in it. This was a silent begging from him to not fuck this up, but also a message that she definitely grew and knew that if something like this happened, she knew what her worth is.

▸ GOOD GRACES ABOUT: Another song that basically just shows her growth as a person, she knows her worth, she knows to not spend time like that again on a guy. A lot of people see this also kind of as a threat towards Rafe, that if he fucks up, that was it. (Which it kinda is tbh) but at the time where this song was written, they were happy together and started some more serious talks. Talks about kids and marriage etc. ▸ THE BOY IS MINE ABOUT: Another love song, and a reminder for the crazy stalker-like fans, that Rafe is hers. Also this song is just there to show Rafe off, because she was like „LOOK AT MY MAAAAAN“ which the music video represented pretty good. It‘s a fan favorite, there a thousands, if not millions of edits about them to this song. ▸ POSITIONS ABOUT: It was ovulation week when she wrote this song, Rafe actually just freshly buzzed his hair for a role and send her a picture, so this song is the end of it. It‘s her just being horny tbh, like have you seen this man with his buzzcut? There is no wonder. ▸ CEILINGS ABOUT: This song Y/N wrote after their second Date, it was supposed to be a cozy beach date, but the weather decided to switch around and rain. Which left you two soaking wet, but with the best memories ever. That night after the goodbye kiss, y/n knew that she wanted Rafe forever. It‘s crazy to say since it was only their second date, but she loved nothing more. But with all these feelings, she was also afraid to lose it, afraid that it would be ending like the last one. It pretty much summed up all her feelings from that time. ▸ BED CHEM ABOUT: Another song from ovulation week, yet this was written after their first date, and we all know how this ended (I recall Glitch 02). It was honestly the best night of her life, not only of the bed chem they shared, but also because everything with Rafe felt different from her and Grady. She also saw the message Rafs send Grady back then, and couldn’t stop her laugh from coming out. She felt like on cloud nine, and couldn‘t stop think about that night. Sarah was also the first to hear that song, even though Y/N warned her not to, but Sarah didn’t care. So when Sarah realized this song was about the night with her brother, she regretted every single choice she had ever made. ▸ BUSY WOMAN ABOUT: This song is one finally fun take on Grady, it picks fun on how Grady wanted her and she played the ideal partner but also rejected her at the same time. It just shows that she tried to not give a fuck about the rejections all the time, but even if it hurt at the beginning now she looks back on it and laughs. ▸ INTO YOU ABOUT: Another love letter to Rafe from the beginning of their relationship. While yes, they both were in love with each other, he was also kind anxious about it just like her. This was her message to him, that even if everybody is watching, they could still keep a bit of their relationship private and to themself. Nobody knows them like they do, even in the spotlight with fame nobody still did that. ▸ MONOPOLY (FT. SABRINA CARPENTER) ABOUT: The collab with Sabrina was a wish from friends, they got to be really good friends. They met at an award show back in 2020 (corona doesn’t exist in this universe okay?), and since then they got to know each other. So they got together in the studio, started writing and recording that song in like a day, and then teased it with the game monopoly together on their Instagram stories when it was decided that the song would become a single. The pics would include either just them playing monopoly or them posing with it in like target or any other store. ▸ MOTIVE ABOUT: At the beginning of their relationship and with the trust issues y/n had, she questioned a lot of things, things like what Rafes real motives were. Yes they were friends at the begging, but being in a relationship so freshly out of a multiple year long toxic relationship gives you suspicion, because she didn‘t really wanted to be hurt again.

▸34 + 35 ABOUT:

Another song about y/ns and Rafe’s first Date and first night together, her mind couldn’t stop going back to it. Our girl was horny for Rafe, like a lot, but after having finally a guy that knows what he‘s doing and that mostly just wants to satisfy you instead of just him. Yeah that probably does a lot of things to you.

▸GOODNIGHT N GO ABOUT: After her and Grady’s break up, her and Rafe got closer, this was before their first date and she realized finally what kind of effect Rafe has on her. She didn‘t wanted him to have this effect on him, but at the same time she really wanted it. So she wrote this song.

Taglist: @countryclubwhore @alphabetically-deranged @scream4mami @lili-swagalicious @livie4lifestarkeyblyth @cokewithcameron @mrsdrewstarkeyy @rafesbabygirlx @thesunflowersociety @pi4st81 @pogueprincesa @sassyvilliantrope @aves05 (Taglist is Closed)

[thehypnone]

Crying in the Rain

WC: 1,3K

Relationship: Raindrop (but its not exactly relationship focused)

Tags: Angst with a happy ending, idk what else, character study?

After his elemental change, Dewdrop felt like he lost all control. He was robbed of himself, of his life and shoved into body and role someone else designed.

Notes: Written for @jazz-bazz's ask that my dumbass deleted by accident. Not as angsty as I wanted it to be and weirdly written so if you think I was high when writing this no I was not... this time. I also shoved a lot of guitar stuff in there because I am myself and this was a gear talk ask sooo...

Read under the cut or on AO3.

The guitar, the Fantomen, was… pretty. It was beautiful, even, Dewdrop has always thought so, when Ifrit played it. 

They made some changes for him, already, though. The pretty knobs with “H” engraved on them were changed to boring, plain silver ones, Dew didn’t know why. No one changed Aether’s knobs.

There was no space for questions, any questions, regarding all this change.

So much has changed. Has been changed.

Rest of the changes that had been inflicted on the instrument was more technical than visual. They probably just wanted Dewdrop’s playing to sound the best way possible, he doubted anyone cared about his comfort. He knew they didn’t, actually.

The strings were too thin, his fingers were shredded already. There were also too many of them, he was tumbling over the fretboard all days long not hitting the right strings, the right frets.

Ifrit was sweet, understanding and patient… not something fire ghouls were accused of being often. But even the sweetest, most understanding, those with the most patience can and will eventually run out of it.

“Droplet, it’s not that fucking hard,” he growled, slamming his hand down onto the strings of a guitar nestled in his lap. His raised voice and awful feedback the instrument let out made Dewdrop flinch.

“‘m sorry,” he whispered as he curled in on himself. As much as the big piece of lacquered wood in his own lap would allow, that is. His now dull and weirdly warm toned hair hid his face and the tears that were dangerously close to rolling down his burning cheeks.

“No, Dew, I’m sorry,” Ifrit sighed, putting a hand on the smaller ghoul’s back. Not so long ago he’d purr at the inhuman warmth but now he didn’t feel a difference. Just some additional weight. “I just, uhm… didn’t sleep well. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lashed out.”

“It’s fine, I know I suck,” Dewdrop mumbled, barely loud enough for the other to hear.

“Dew-”

“No, don’t,” he didn’t snap, he spoke softly quietly. He was no fire ghoul. “It’s fine.”

Ifrit sighed, ran his hands down his face and even opened his mouth to speak again. Dewdrop was no longer there, a hard case for his Fantomen left empty on the floor.

They made Dewdrop’s guitar even heavier.

A few simple modifications didn’t make much difference for him, he couldn’t lie and say they didn’t make it sound better.

But they made it heavier.

It originally weighted more than his bass already and they made it heavier.

Dew wanted to cry. He did cry. He was so out of control, he sucked at guitar and he sucked at being a ghoul and he hoped he sucked enough to get banished back to the Pit. Because there was no way he’d be able to do this.

To replace Ifrit, to play lead guitar, to be a fire ghoul.

To teach Rain bass.

He stumbled under the weight of the Fantomen again, his vision was clouded with tears, his shoulders were cramped and bruised.

Why was the strap so thin? It didn’t make sense.

But, again, why would anyone care about his comfort? He was just a tool and right now he was a faulty one.

At least he was alone in the practice room. 

No one heard the butchered solos and his sobs. No one saw the blood and his shaking form.

Dewdrop couldn’t touch the bass, even if it wasn’t his. It wasn’t even the same model.

Why was Rain given a choice where he had none?

But it wasn’t the new water ghoul’s fault, he didn’t even know of Dew’s life just before he was summoned. Dewdrop couldn’t be angry at him.

“Are you okay?” he asked him, seemingly out of nowhere. The fire ghoul snapped back to reality, realising Rain had asked a question and was waiting for an answer when Dew was busy staring into the distance at nothing in particular.

Are you okay? Rain has asked. How was he supposed to answer?

“Yeah, sorry, didn’t sleep well,” Dew grumbled. “What was that?”

Rain looked at him like he absolutely did not believe him. Dew wasn’t surprised, “I asked if there’s a slide the second time or just the sixth fret.”

“Just the sixth fret once more, but you can do as many slides as you want, no one will probably notice,” Dewdrop shrugged. Rain nodded and turned back to his bass.

Dew started zoning out again as the water ghoul was going over and over again on the same part of the song. His eyes were fixed on Rain’s strap. A solid piece of leather and he wondered…

“You should get a different strap,” Rain called out from the other side of the practice stage. What?

“What?” Dewdrop turned around and sized the water ghoul. Not in a hostile way, he was just… how did he know?

It was their first actual practice as a band, the rest already filtered out, only the two of them left. How did he know?

“This strap isn’t good for you,” Rain said matter-of-factly, like it was common knowledge. It couldn’t be, it couldn’t have been, he hid it so well, he wasn’t a pussy it was just a stupid strap. “Hurts your shoulder and back.”

“Oh, I- they… they gave me this one with the guitar I don’t-”

“You should take your control back, Dewdrop.”

How did he know?

He changed the strap.

Dewdrop basically broke into one of the storage rooms by the part of the Abbey dedicated to the Ghost project and stole all his old straps he could find. The wide, padded ones with grucifix pins he added himself. They were his.

Nobody but Rain seemed to notice the change on the next rehearsal. Maybe Aether or Mountain would, but they’d probably not realise the… the importance of such a small change.

Rain noticed, and warmth bloomed in Dewdrop’s chest when he smiled and nodded at him.

His shoulders weren’t bruised anymore and his back wasn’t strained.

But there was another thing that was pissing him off and… and Rain had told him to get back control, so…

Dewdrop stole a drilling machine.

He was pissed with the placement of his strap, he didn’t have that much accessibility to the highest frets which were important for lead, for playing solos.

So he stole a drilling machine.

He drilled the hole.

He moved the strap to the side, above the neck instead of where it had been nestled in the back, where the neck met the body. He shoved three toothpicks into the hole the screw left and put a few drops of white nail polish over it to make it as unnoticeable as possible.

Only Rain noticed the change, and warmth bloomed in Dewdrop’s chest when he smiled and nodded at him, again.

Dewdrop regained all control there was to regain when he first kissed Rain.

It was like something snapped inside of him, like a rope that was slowly being cut and burned until only one thread remained, and Rain was the one to snap it. He was who started cutting and burning it in the first place, after all.

One day, years later, Dewdrop crawled out of bed, Rain’s arms and went to the newly anointed Papa’s office. He asked him for a new guitar, a Stratocaster. A few different models, actually, each one with different modifications, customisations.

Because it was going to be his and his only, and no one was going to take away his control again. He let them rob him of years of his life on Earth and he was never going to give up control again. 

He accepted the past. 

Dewdrop was a fire ghoul now, but it was his life, he wasn’t going to waste any more of it and he was his own ghoul.

Well… maybe Rain’s too.

When he took Terzo’s grucifixes off of his straps it was his choice.

In the future, when he’d put stickers on the backs of the guitars, he wouldn’t hesitate.

Not again.

[dearweirdme]

Hi Rain,

I previously watched a lot of Jikook edits and wanted to ask for your perspective on a topic. In Jikook edits and widely circulated narratives, Jimin is usually portrayed as being in pursuit of JK during the early years, around 2014-2015. For instance, asking JK for a kiss or chasing him around, trying to hug JK and getting pushed away, telling a radio interviewer that he wants to go to the beach with JK, saying he really likes JK, etc.

I was wondering, do you think Jimin actually tried to pursue JK during these years? Or was it something else? Like could it be that Jimin was directed to do so by the company, or that this was a narrative created by Jikookers through edits and misinterpretations? I was wondering what you thought.

Thank you so much! And thank you for your wonderful blog! I really enjoy your posts and asks!

Hi anon!

I think if you ignore Jkkr’s narratives it starts to look a lot more leveled out. Jk and Jm are friends and have been really close friends for a very long time. That means that they do choose each other when asked certain questions. Jm did probably want to go to the beach with Jk, he did/does really like Jk.. that’s all friendship stuff though. The kiss thing is very much for the camera. They are filming Jk’s birthday, Jm looks straight into the camera.. there is no seriousness there at all. You can absolutely not claim anything romantic about that moment at all.

I think today’s episode of Are you sure actually gave us an interesting insight of Jm and Jk during their earlier years. I’ve always thought Jm was very much a Hyung to Jk early on.. and also that he really found it important to adhere to those roles (unlike Tae if you’d like to compare). When Jk and Jm talked about being same age, Jm made a direct comparison to him and Tae.. and how their relationship was complicated because of them being same age. Jm believes that Jk and him would’ve gotten into many fights had it not been for the difference in age between them. Jm mentioned that Jk often was a mediator between him and Tae.. which I can totally see and which is what I feel might’ve brought Jm and Jk close. I think Jk’s understanding of Jm had to grow and I think seeing Jm struggle and be upset made him get insights.

Jk felt it important to keep the formality of age difference during the early years. We saw him mention that to Tae as well. I do think though, that he did not/does not like being babied and not taken seriously though. From what we see today, that is still true. Last weeks episode had Jk annoyed with Jm, and so did today’s episode. Both times imo had to do with Jm not taking him seriously.

Jkkrs mistake Jk and Jm’s relationship for romantic when it is in fact platonic friendship. They put high emphasis on some moments they deem romantic (like cuddles and physical closeness) but they completely ignore the subtle (and not subtle) signs of that not being true. When we do compare to Tae and Jk, we clearly see that Jk and Jm are more individually acting than Tae and Jk. They walk less close, they don’t wait for each other, they don’t share meals the same way, they miss details from each other’s lives. There’s moments that they are close, but those moments are very much momentarily and not a sign of constant connection.

[kings-highway]

How do you feel about AtsuKageHina?

m 🤔

i don't like it, to be honest. And that's mostly because I've got some kind of vendetta against AtsuHina in all of it's forms. I don't like it. I think it's slightly more tolerable with Kageyama in the mix, though. BUT. The point of these asks is to seriously consider it and treat it well so I will see what I can find.

my first instinct is to dwell more on Atsumu/Kageyama, because while I do think AtsuKageHina can really only exist as Atsumu joining an established KageHina, I think their dynamic could really make or break the polyship.

I think, obviously, they'd have a lot of intense rivalry over volleyball and then also Hinata, especially since Kageyama is on the opposite side of the net so to speak. Atsumu being more of an ass than usual complaining about Hinata "telling the Adlers all their secrets" and Bokuto/Sakusa being like "dude it's not that serious" but it IS it IS that serious (to him) (he hasn't realized he has a crush on Hinata)

I think there's also some really interesting possibilities in, like, AtsuHina coming first, bonding on the Adlers and falling in love, and Atsumu just realizing that Hinata has always had this fixation with Kageyama and even if he trusts that Hinata loves him, he knows that Kageyama exists on a kind of different spectrum? Like it's not about romantic love, necessarily, for KageHina.

BUT Ignore the more plot-heavy descriptions I do really, really like the idea of AtsuHina being a thing and then both being aggressively in love with Kageyama who's just Autistic and On Another Team and so they're barking and growling from the other side of the net and Kageyama is just like "yeah this is totally about volleyball :)" and so oblivious to the fact that he's being pursued so heavily (and in Hinata's case, as been being pursued for a WHILE.)

I also think this ship could work as AtsuHina and KageHina as a love angle, rather than a completed polycule, even though I think Atsumu and Kageyama would have the most interesting dynamic as a trio.

Hinata would absolutely call them "his boys" whenever they're going anywhere. "Got my keys, got the volleyball, got my boys, let's hit the beach!" vibes

Hinata going to Brazil would fracture the group for a bit, Kageyama and Atsumu not really knowing how to be in a relationship without his energy, and I think they would break up for a bit and then be absolutely tormented by it, like... they don't even tell Hinata really (who they're maintaining as long distance) but they "mutually agree" to step back from each other because it just doesn't feel right and then like cue some kind of "standing outside your window with a sign" scene or a confession in the rain where they realize that they really did like each other.

Atsumu can absolutely fill a similar rival role as Hinata for Kageyama, in terms of passion in the relationship, but I think Kageyama is like... weird territory for Atsumu. Because Atsumu is mr "best setter in Japan" but Kageyama as we know is a proper prodigy. And Atsumu probably finds him beautiful in a really abstract way, why like's obsessed with the way he holds his pencils and mugs of tea and the way he stretches and just can't get enough of him because Atsumu has never in his life had a setter he thought he could look up to (he's arrogant! he's always thought he was the best) but now there's this gorgeous, passionate, and LOUDLY talented setter who just sweeps him off his feet and goddamn it feels good to be able to idolize (worship?) someone. Its just an entirely different kind of Love I dont think he's had the opportunity to do. Make him breakfast in bed and let him be the passenger princess.

Side note: Osamu would hate this ship. RIP to the second twin could you imagine him putting up with this shit?

Overall Rating:

Me, Personal Interest: -4/10

Concept/Potential: 8/10

(as much as I don't like AtsuHina or this ship I'm not gonna pretend like I don't get it I know where you people are coming from)

[amelias-calamity-quintet]

MoaH Dungeon Design Principles

I know I talked about this over on Wattpad, but I haven't talked about it here. I'm gonna copy paste a chunk out of the post-GoS update I did on why MoaH is absolutely massive first, and then I'll add more.

Ok. So. I might have been a little overly ambitious with MoaH. When I first drafted MoaH's arc, I was trying to offer a response to BOTW's dungeon design, which I, as a classic LoZ enjoyer, did not think lived up to reputation. TOTK also didn't really address this problem in my opinion, but was an improvement, that came out after MoaH was on hiatus. I have a lot of thoughts on how classic and Wild duo dungeon design differ and why I prefer classic design, but to summarize those thoughts, BOTW/TOTK design focuses on the world as an interactive landscape, classic design focuses on the importance of location. I felt like a reasonable compromise to the shrines vs dungeons discussion was to have a number of shrines working together to explain a dungeon's core puzzle before you did that dungeon, along with the smaller number making the dungeon locations more integrated into the settings they were in, bridging both location and landscape. The BOTW/TOTK tutorial sections do this and the Ballad of a Champion DLC also does this, and those were the elements I applied to MoaH's dungeon design. I also, quite frankly, wanted to see if I could do a bigger setting than BOTW, and now, TOTK.

I do want to expand on the nature of MoaH's dungeon design though because when this is being written, the second "shrine" is going out for book 1. And I want to discuss that some more. And I promise this isn't going to be a shit on the Wild duo hour, but I am gonna be critical of the design for a bit.

To expand on my thoughts on BOTW/TOTK dungeons, I know a huge part of why they are the way they are is because of asset limitations. Nintendo made 120 shrines and then the dungeons, and there's only so much memory the Switch can handle. And in looking at the Wild duo by design, so much of those games focus on the concept of "Ma," which is a Japanese concept on the appreciation of empty space. And that's so much of the Wild duo. Navigating the Wild duo is about experiencing the wilderness of Hyrule. In an example of the exploration of landscape, of the appreciation of nature and Ma, it excels, in spades.

But. I think that comes back to why it feels so strongly off from classic design. Because classic Zelda dungeon design is about the importance of place. About how this location being cursed/taken over directly impacts the world, on multiple levels (grand quest, regional quest, personal quest). To which you might say, that's there too in the Wild duo, and you're not wrong but the framing is different. Let me provide an example:

In Wind Waker, the first full dungeon you go to is Dragon Roost Caverns. Progressing through and solving the issue in Dragon Roost hits all three. Grand quest, you gotta get Din's Pearl. Regional/local, Valoo being upset means that the local Rito can't get the scales they need to get their wings. And then there are multiple personal levels in which that affects; Komali getting his wings, Medli being an attendant, and the relationship between the chief and his son.

Let's compare that to the regional quest in TOTK with the Zora. Seems like it would check off the boxes: need to get to the temple to find Zelda (grand), get the sludge to stop (regional), and help Sidon uncover his role as a Sage (personal). But, there are two other elements that I think these stories fail on.

One, the temple itself isn't impactful to the world because of how removed it is. This is better with the Divine Beasts, but they're still not quite the same kind of impact. The rain and the sludge negatively impact the Zora, absolutely, it's a hazard to them. But the loss of Dragon Roost Caverns impacts the Rito's culture, part of their identity. The temples in TOTK are all so ancient there are barely stories about them. Dragon Roost Caverns is part of the Rito's ongoing lives. It doesn't have that same impact. I get a few temples being like that, but all of the dungeons are like that in the Wild duo, removing some of that connection between the two. It makes it feel too game-y and less connected narratively.

Two, in making the games open world in the way they are and taking out the metroidvania of Zelda games, it also takes out the interconnectedness of the world. One of the joys of Zelda is getting new items and then going back and seeing an area recovered. Better, it's seeing how the people once affected are engaging with the world now. Less in big identifiable NPCs, more in "Oh, we fixed the Dodongo Mines, now the Gorons are scattered around the map." The Wild duo made the peoples so regional that, outside of Lookout Landing, we don't see them interacting with each other as a kingdom. It made sense in BOTW why that would be. By TOTK, it made less sense. It also removes the impact of you as the player's successes in overcoming the dungeons. And personally, because I wasn't faffing with Korok seeds, after I got the shrines in a region, I found very little motivation to go back to areas because of how big the world was. The size of it all actively made the world feel more disconnected and there was no real reward in the world that made completing the dungeons unite it more.

Look, again, I'm not saying that it's bad design. I am saying that it is a hard shift from pre-existing Zelda design. And the series has done more open world settings before without this being an issue (both Wind Waker and A Link Between Worlds I think are better examples of open world Zeldas). I said this before, and I feel less strongly about it now, but if you took out the Zelda names, how easy do the Wild duo maintain their identities as Zelda games? How easy would it be to change them to a new IP? That doesn't make them bad games. It does highlight I think that the jump from where the franchise was to where the Wild duo games took it was a huge leap. All of that to say, this is where MoaH's dungeon design starts its iterations.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Break because that was a lot. I said in the earlier blurb that I thought a good bridge to that design choice was something halfway: a handful of shrines that teach the mechanics of a dungeon OR a bunch of buildings connected together to collectively make a dungeon. I'm leaning towards the former because of MoaH's scale and that would be tedious if it were gameplay for the setting.

I know technically this is spoilers, but also technically going into a Zelda game one will assume there are dungeons. The fun of it is seeing what they're like. The Hyrule arc/book 1 has three shrines, a dungeon, and a bonus dungeon/shrine (scale here is smaller than a dungeon but larger than a shrine). The three shrines (Farore's, Nayru's, and Din's) all serve as examples to the puzzle mechanics that will be in the main dungeon (for now, Hylia's Temple). For book 1, easy puzzles, it's the first dungeon. That's where we get to explore more in the further books.

I also wanted to change how the characters interact with puzzles as they go through the world. That's why each of the shrines has a mini boss and an item (side note, MoaH Link is gonna be kitted to the nines, there are over 40 dungeon relics planned, not counting ordinary items he gets too like the bomb bag and lantern). The expanding arsenal changes how the party is going to be able to tackle problems. I imagine that, fitting for the D&D comparisons, each of the characters have two item slots for relics they can easily carry on top of their own weapons. So the dispersement of that kit across the party changes how the characters are going to be able to confront puzzles and monsters moving forward as they get more. But more kit, more problems, bigger monsters. This is why the moblin comment is in the early chapter. I had to watch my power scaling early. Moblins are serious threats in this Hyrule.

You will also note that most of the shrine arcs are proceeded by chapters on how the situation in the shrine is troubling the locals. And there are always local named "NPCs" affected. Further, NPCs come back. Book 2 has an arc resolution that requires a character from book 1 to come back. The stories of people being affected are not forgotten for the main quest. Now, MoaH also has to balance the party's interpersonal stories as well as the three levels I already outlined, that's why some of the shrine arcs don't all have very in depth NPC stories, they're going on setting assumption that there is a monster there that needs dealing with (and they're right). But all of the temples are still attached or are places that losing directly affects a local area.

On top of all of that, I can't keep this stale. You'd assume after a bit, three shrines, one dungeon, bonus dungeon, that's the formula. You'd be wrong. Not only does the order need to change, but the number of shrines changes when we get into the local religions and how they choose to honor the pantheon (now that 40+ number is adding up).

Further, original mini bosses and bosses for every single one. My creature creating has never been more flexed. And so far y'all have only seen mini bosses. I'll let you ruminate on what that means for bosses.

Look, I'm not trying to toot my own horn here. I'm not saying MoaH is the perfect response to this problem I've outlined. It is a response, and I don't have asset limitations like a console does. But this is the basis for which MoaH design begins. I'll leave the rest for y'all to discover. That's part of the adventure too.

[theaceofarrows]

How do you see Luz's family? Like who's in it and playing what part? And be as detailed as you want - need - I'm very curious

Alright, here we go!

Camila, the amazing mama she's had all her life who's relationship has only grown between them and it's stronger than ever. Number 1# support system in the HR and group mom to all the kids

Eda, her loving, crazy mama she gained in the DR. There will always be a special bond between them for Eda being the first person (other than Camila) to except all her qurks and interests embrace her for it. Mom/crazy aunt to all the kids

Raine, her DR parent. Gives great advice especially for anxiety related issues. Absolutely a teen rebellion role model (THE Raine Whispers?!). Teaches her all the best bard spells and is always super patient

Lilith, cool aunt always down for bad girl™ shenanigans and adventures, ready to help with any and all school related questions 24/7

King, little brother. Would do anything for each other and both super protective. Number 1# cuddle buddy. Will always make groan inducing puns together

Amity, her awesome girlfriend/future wife. Her biggest fan and another huge support. Helps each other with self worth issues. Always hanging out and holding hands. Possible Bi awakening. Always ready to pull each other from danger. Enemies to friends to girlfriends

Willow, first and forever best friend. They are sisters hands down. Have been and always will be together through thick and thin. Have helped each other grow SO much since the beginning. Support each other's crazy stunts

Gus, also best friend and her's/Hunter's little brother. Always cheering each other on and lift each other up. Speak in memes. Getting into trouble and shenanigans all the time and giving they're parents grey hairs

Hunter, he's/Gus's older brother and Camila's son. Former enemies to reluctant allies to friends to siblings. Have helped each other through trauma especially Belos related. Have such oldest and youngest syndrome. Endlessly annoy each but would but would also kill for each other

Vee, her's/Hunter's little sister and Camila's daughter. Had a bit of a bumpy start at first but after some hard truths and life or situations are now 100% sisters. Vee seems like the voice of reason but in actuality is incredibly fierce and ready to kill to protect her family. They give each other wildly different dating advice

Emira & Edric, Amity's siblings/Luz's future siblings in-law/Hunter's step siblings??. Chaos twins. Probably founded the Lumity fan club. They are the friends you go to when you "know a guy". Always down to commit illegal acts and have the bail money ready. Constantly teasing

Alador, Amity and Em & Ed's dad/Luz's future father in-law/probably Darius husband/Hunter's step dad??. Very supportive of his kids relationships and always doing his best to make time and listen to them. Thought Luz was a member of the family 5 minutes ago. Probably already has the wedding planned

Darius, rich wine uncle/Hunter's dad/Amity, Em & Ed's step dad??/Alador's husband??. Acts like he doesn't care but will fight anyone who hurts his kid('s). Not so silently judging everyone's outfits. Goes to every sports match. Teaches Amity and Hunter crazy abomination spells because he claims Alador is to much of a hack to be trusted

Eberwolf, fun/crazy uncle/Darius' little brother. Has shown everyone what would probably be considered illegal beast keeping magic. Rides on people's shoulders whenever someone is having a bad day. Gives the kids tips on the best way to annoy Darius

Steve, the guy who just kind of showed up and is now everyone's honorary big brother. Gives rides on motorcycle. Like Em & Ed is also the guy you go to when you "know a guy". Hooks everyone up with a therapist

I hope this is okay! Thank you so much for this ask

[nabi-unveiled]

i just read your top 3 bl you wouldn’t mentioned with your brother and it reminds me of me and my sister’s relationship, we are technically each other’s safe space. we didn’t grow up southern Baptist but we grew up Christian and now we are currently deconstructing and consider ourselves agnostic but recently i’ve been gushing about “when it rains and pours” as well as “I become the main character in a bl” to her and I’ve been trying to get her to watch it with me and i think she’s used to “I become the main character in a bl” because she refers it to the “bl show on crack” 😂

Hello anon!

I'm glad you related to my post. Honestly, I thought about skipping that question entirely. I've sat on your message for a while as I thought about what to say. There's a lot of different flavors of Christian so your deconstruction process could be very different than mine. There are some things that are probably universal though.

Deconstruction is hard. Brutally so.

How "deep" you were into your faith, how tied into faith your community is, and the support or lack of support around you will all impact HOW hard. For that reason, I'm very glad you have your sister.

I would encourage anyone who is deconstructing to identify their support people. Besides my brother, I found a sense of community in online resources (like Reddit). I also had two former coworkers with similar experiences. We formed a bit of a community. It really helps to have people to discuss your evolving thoughts with and to help you process some of the potential fallout. There will be fallout.

Give yourself grace. Yes, that's a very "Christian" phrase. Purposefully so. Deconstruction is a rewiring process. You will still find yourself saying phrases that no longer have meaning to you. You will still have all of your history and the culture that comes with it. You will constantly have to work to spot potential bias based on your upbringing. It takes time to go through all of the things you have been trained to believe, pick them apart under a microscope, and decide which things you are keeping. Some things ARE worth keeping after all. For example, I still think it's good to engage in community service. It's just the type of community service I value has changed. It's not a quick process, but it is a valuable and rewarding one.

Bring the important people on the journey with you.

If it's safe to do so, at least make sure they know that you are taking a journey. This is where I failed. This is where one of my coworkers failed. I keep a lot of my thoughts internal. I reason through most things in my head. I like to be certain (or at least as certain as I can be) before I say something.

By the time I let my husband know that I "no longer believed", I had been struggling with my beliefs and deconstructing for over a decade. He hadn't even known I was questioning our beliefs, but I had already left them behind and formed new ones. I hadn't wanted to upset the apple cart until I knew exactly where I stood. I wanted to have all of my reasoning worked out. In truth, I was scared.

Delaying was a mistake FOR ME. He knew we had differences of opinions on a LOT of issues. We always have. However, me abandoning our faith was a bomb out of nowhere for him. I destroyed his world without warning. It wasn't fair to him. I had taken my time. He got none. I should have clued him in all along. Maybe he would have taken the journey with me. Maybe not. He would've at least known that I was on a journey. We're still together, but we're having to rebuild after the bomb. That takes a lot of time. My co-worker's marriage dissolved. So yeah, IF YOU WANT to keep your people, communication is essential. That's true in most things though.

There's a lot more I could say about finding your new identity, establishing boundaries, etc. However, a lot of that will depend on your individual circumstances. I don't have it all figured out yet.

That said - if your sister thinks "I became the main role..." is a BL show on crack 😂, then you may need to slowly wade into those waters with her. Others may disagree, but that's some very very low level crack imo.