#also how many lives does he even have?? i thought he only had 8 since he got revived but the internet says 9

[d0vesong]

Tigerstar II

[readerstories]

When You Touch Me - Wolverine x male reader x Deadpool 1/?

God I'm a sucker for a soulmate au. (AO3) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8)

Warnings/tags: male reader, canon-typical violence, enemies to friends to lovers, eventual smut, slow burn

Wordcount: 2347

Summary: You’ve heard many stories about how people met their soulmates. Everyone crazier than the last, ranging from typical meet cutes, meeting with one of them at death's door, in war, meeting at your soulmate's wedding to another, and everything in between and outside of that. You had just never expected to add yours to the crazy list, meeting yours in a fight, only realizing after trying to kill each other for at least half an hour. And you certainly don’t expect to have another.

Other info: About this au - Soulmates find each other through touch, which establishes a mental link that lets feelings through, and if solid and built up enough over time, simple thoughts/words can also come through. Some bonds are purely platonic, about ⅓ in total. Multiple soulmates are not unheard of, but rare, more common with platonic soulmates. 

Quickly about the reader - mercenary/gunman/thug for hire. Great shot with pretty much any gun, has two knives as backup weapons, has fought with swords before. Looks wise he has hair and is shorter than Wade and Logan, but I try to keep no specific height in mind while writing. Has a few scars scattered over his body, but nothing specific as of yet. Does not want a soulmate, thinks it just leaves people vulnerable. Lives on his own in an apartment he owns and is content with his life.

All you were, really, was hired help.

All you were supposed to do was stand around and look scary with a few other tugs in a warehouse with high shelves stacked with crates, while your employer (a generous word for the drug dealer that hired you) met with another drug dealer.

It had gone tits up the second a man wearing a red and black spandex suit and katanas on his back of all things came crashing through a window.

You had dived for cover, because there are gunshots ringing out in the milliseconds after the glass shatters. You curse, reaching for your gun, with just one single 10 bullet magazine, because your stupid employer had insisted you only needed one when you asked for more. So to have something more you had your adamantium knives strapped to each thigh, hidden enough under your black joggers.

You curse under your breath, cause this is fucking awful. You hear gunshots over and over again, people are dying, wood from shipping crates are splintering, metal is hitting the floor. 

And there’s talking. 

Fucking talking.

“Come one guys, your aim is all off! Did none of you ever train on the neighborhood cats?”

Well, more like yelling. Because even though the warehouse wasn’t empty, it still had an echo. You are used to the loud sounds, it fuels your adrenaline as you peek out from behind the crate you are using as a shield.

The man, you are just going to call him Red for now, is flipping and bouncing between crates, avoiding any big hits. A few bullets graze an arm, but he doesn’t seem to take notice as his own bullets find their marks, bodies dropping around him. He’s nimble and quick about it, taking down guys from both sides with equal gusto, and you find yourself just watching him carefully. He’s almost elegant, light on his feet, and a jab or taunt spewing out of his mouth every few bullets. 

Careful not to alert Red or anyone else about your position, you shift, gun in hand watching him saunter over to your employer, the last man standing. Well, not really, since he’s down on his knees, begging for something incoherent while fat tears and snot roll down his face. 

“Newsflash asshole, I don’t care for your tragic backstory that the writer won’t let you talk about.” Red raises his gun, one last loud bang filling the warehouse before it’s quiet once again.

“Last fucking one, my counting skills once again making me win.” Red claps his hands together, before moving his hands to his hips, looking around the warehouse. “What a fucking mess.” He shakes his head, and you see your opportunity now that he thinks it’s all over.

You move up, pulling the trigger as soon as your gun is aimed right. Red doesn’t even get to turn before six bullets go through his chest, two through his throat, and the last two finding their mark in his skull. You shouldn’t use all your bullets on one target like that, but still you do.  Red drops like a sack of potatoes, and you draw a sigh of relief, lowering your gun as you too look around the warehouse. You’re glad it’s far away from anything else, because it should take at least a few hours before the cops are alerted, and by that time you would be far away from this warehouse that is by now covered in blood, bullet casings, and dead men.

Your earlier relief turns into utter confusion as you hear shuffling, and when you turn back towards where Red’s body is, you see him shake his head where he lays crumpled on the floor, and seconds later he’s on his feet with a groan.

“Okay, good shot whoever that was.” You gape, words slipping out of your mouth without meaning to.

“What the fuck.” Red’s head snaps towards you.

“Oh, there you are.” His voice is light, almost like he’s halfway into song. “I would return the favor, but I’m fresh out of bullets so this will have to do.” He pulls out the katanas strapped to his back. You grab your knives, managing, somehow by the grace of whatever runs this universe, to bring it out just in time to block both katanas that were coming at you in tight formation.

“Oh so you weren’t just happy to see me.” Red jokes, and though you can’t see his face under the mask, you are pretty sure he is grinning. You grunt, because there is no way for your brain to form words as you parry another attack from him, retreating.

You are in no position to attack, so all you do is stop his, and try to escape, backing off. Or rather, you try to, but Red is not letting up, so all you end up doing is walking backwards through the warehouse in a vague path between boxes and shelves as he attacks. 

He manages to get a few slashes here and there to connect, but they are shallow, just enough to draw blood and sting. One on your left arm, two on your right arm, three on your left leg. You wonder if amounts are on purpose. He seems to take it all as encouragement, laughing, keeping up his quick attacks. 

You don’t know you hold out, breathing heavy, arms and hands hurting with how you are clutching and shielding with your knives like your life depends on it. 

Because it 1000% fucking does, that’s why you manage.

Red finally lets up, just enough that you can create some space between the two of you. You don’t dare to actually turn and run, certain he has no moral code of cutting down someone from behind. So you just try to slowly create even more room between the two of you as you watch for his next attack.

“Oh I am having fun!” Red tries to clap, but he just knocks the hilts of his katanas together. “Though we are just a little unevenly matched here.” He sounds like he’s breathing just a little bit harder at least, even though there are no cuts next to the bullet holes riddling his suit. He tilts his head for a moment, then bends down, and then there’s a katana sliding over the floor, bumping into your boot. You look down at it, before looking back up at him.

“Come on, pick it up.” Shifting your knives into one hand, you keep your eyes on the white eyes of his mask as you bend down and pick up the sword. 

“Oh yeah, look at me during.” You ignore his comment, feeling the weight of the katana in your hand. It’s heavy, but perfectly balanced, feeling perfect as you spin it in your hand a few times, the hilt still warm from Red’s earlier hold. 

“Hot.” Red says as he twirls his second katana, mimicking you. Once more ignoring him, you put your knives back in their sheats. “Do you have them there to distract your enemies by making them think you are going to jerk off mid-battle?” You snort.

“No, they are there so they are more hidden, and more difficult to grab.”

“If you wanted my hands in your pants all you had to do was ask, baby.” You think Red is winking at you through the mask. You roll your eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Shut the fuck up.” With both of your hands on the hilt of the katana, you are ready to defend yourself from his first attack.

“Ohhh, you remind me of someone. I think the two of you would get along, he’s also a man of few words. Maybe I’ll let you live so you can meet him and fight him too, more material for my spank bank.” He definitely winks this time, then you are defending yourself from another attack from him. It pushes you backwards, again, but this time, you are able to attack back.

Though you can’t help but wonder if he’s letting you, just indulging you. Because you can feel how strong he is when you parry his strikes, you felt how strong he was when all you had was your knives.

It’s a dance, a dance he lets you participate in as you block, attack, block, attack, block. Redirecting his sword coming for your throat so it splinters wood instead of flesh.

“How did you learn to fight like this?” Wade asks, almost spinning as his energy is redirected away from your body. He is at least breathing a little heavier, and for some reason, you find yourself having a little fun, even though you think you know how this is going to end.

“I was a loser in high school. What about you?” You speak through gritted teeth, the sound of metal on metal filling the warehouse as you block another attack. You don’t even know why you ask him back, but it feels right.

“Something similar.” It’s still kinda hard to tell, but you think he grins under his mask as you attack back.

You do get a few cuts in, deep enough that it slices through his suit and the skin underneath, but it leaves you with little satisfaction as you see the cuts heal in seconds. Though at least his suit can’t fix itself, growing more tattered by the minute as new slashes and old bullet holes make a mess of it.

“So you are not just a pretty face, there’s some skills there.” You frown, anger flaring, and you are about to say something, but with a quick move that you have no opportunity to block, and that  truly demonstrates the difference between the two of you, he nicks you with just the tip of the katanta, just on the left corner of your mouth. You startle, but on instinct your tongue goes out to lick at the blood now sliding down to your skin. It just gives you more motivation to strike back, a big one that leaves behind what could almost be called a titty window on his chest, showing textured skin underneath.

“Ohhhh, freaky.” Red taunts, slicing your chest too, though your skin doesn’t heal when metal connects after slicing through your shirt like air. You curse, adrenaline causing your ears to roar, and the world to go a little fuzzy at the edges. You touch your chest, fingers coming back bloody, watching Red. Your own katana pointing towards the floor, ready, but down as you breathe heavily.

“Leaving yourself all open for me? You shouldn’t have.” Red coos, and that is what you are counting on. Letting him attack you straight on, thinking you have given up, so you can shove the katana through his skull, killing him again, and leaving you at least a few moments to high tail it out of there.

It’s what the plan is.

It does not work out like you intend it to.

It goes in a whole new direction.

Because when he comes close enough, you manage to get a hold on his shoulder, which gets you a hopefully not deadly slice over your abdomen for your efforts. You are moving quickly, seconds away from stabbing the katana through the bottom of his jaw. But then your fingers touch a bare spot on his shoulder where his suit had gotten torn, and there’s a sparkler going off in your brain, a sizzling sensation that settles in the back of your head as feelings of excitement, adrenaline, and happiness that are not your own speeds through your mind.

You gasp out loud.

You can’t help yourself.

Because you know what that was.

And there is no fucking way.

WHAT. THE. ABSOLUTE. 

FUCK.

Fucking no.

A soulmate.

You have a fucking soulmate??????

And this is how you fucking meet him????

In all of your turmoil, you have dropped the katana that was destined to go through Red’s skull. He is a few paces behind you, not immediately attacking, just watching you as you turn around in your now mostly frozen state.

“Wh-”

“Touch me.” Red blinks, owlishly even with the white eyes of his mask.

“Wow, so forward. You know, con-” 

“Shut the fuck up.” You march over to him, and in what seems to be confusion he lets you tug the glove of his hand that is not holding his katana. You interlace your fingers, the motion absurdly tender for the moment that is currently playing out. You see his eyes widen behind the mask, and you are sure his mouth opens and closes several times even hidden as it is.

“What the fuck.” The words are so soft out his mouth that you are not even sure he said them. Not that it matters, because a second later he is wrenching his hand back like you burned him. He runs past you, and you watch as he picks up his katana where you dropped it, and then keeps running after that brief slowdown, heading towards a door you hadn’t noticed while you were fighting. You startle yourself into action finally, following him, but he’s out the door before you can reach him.

On the other side there’s a hallway, and his back is quickly retreating, and all you feel is panic. You are not sure which of you it is coming from.

You try to keep up with him through multiple hallways, but he’s fast, getting out of the building before you do. It’s enough of a headstart that you only see backlights and hear the roar of a motorcycle speeding away.

You run over to where the cars you all arrived in earlier are parked, but of fucking course all tires are slashed. Not like you had any of the keys anyway, but they would have been easy enough to find in some dead man's pockets.

“Fucking MOTHERFUCKER!” You know he can’t hear you, but you hope Red feels your frustration through your bond as you punch the hood of a car, denting the metal.

(Part 2)

[dunmeshistash]

My post about animal loving in Dungeon Meshi got a lot of traction (and I'm very happy so many people resonated with it) but I did leave out details that were too specific to the personal situation of the characters since I wanted to write something that was easy to understand by someone that had only seen up to that episode, since the episode about Senshi's past wasn't out yet, and because I wanted to focus on that subject as it related to that scene.

Ofc Senshi's relationship to Anne was more complex, he named her after the pony his party had to eat and he probably saw Anne the pony in the Anne the Kelpie, I think that would fit better in a Senshi analysis than an Anne the Kelpie analysis. There's also the fact that even tho Laios *knows* monsters are unpredictable and wild he thought he could control Kensuke which backfired during the dragon fight.

But those details I don't think added much to my line of thought, the way people justify why they think an animal is special varies a lot and can be rooted in past trauma, but the complexity of the relationship is one-sided. Not to say you can't have complex feelings about an animal, as long as at the end you understand them and their needs.

The Laios thing wasn't quite the same but it was also part of our relationship to animals tbh, I was analyzing it thru a lens of love and Laios does love Kensuke as an animal, but he also thought it was an animal he could control, which I also think it's human nature, he thought since he "understood" Kensuke he could control it, but he says so himself, he doesn't know how monsters think.

I think this one relates more to people that have so much experience with an animal that they forget wild animals are still unpredictable, a "perfectly trained" Lion is still capable of biting your head off even if it didn't the last 100 times.

I really enjoy how Laios reacts to it after he suffers the consequences tho

He never takes it personally when he suffers because of a monster, even towards the Red Dragon he never reacts in anger as if he needs to "take revenge" on the dragon and even tho Kensuke "betrayed" him he still feels sorry when he thinks he might have harmed him later on.

The thing he says about trying to find an use to living monsters reminds me of another Kui work. it's a great read and made me think a lot, chapter 8 from 'the dragon school is on top of the mountain' (Another option if you can't open mangadex)

This got longer than I intended and I'm not going anywhere with it, I just love animals and talking about loving them.

[beenbaanbuun]

ateez as sharks pt.2

too many sharks to choose from, to few members to assign them to. oh well! guess it just means i get to make a part two 👀

park seonghwa - epaulette shark

epaulette sharks are STUNNING!!! they are the epitome of sleek and genderless in shark form and i know seonghwa would adore them

epaulette sharks are incredibly unique (they can walk on land!!) and use that to their survival advantage. obviously seonghwa doesn’t use his beautiful uniqueness for survival, but it makes him stand out so beautifully just like the epaulette shark

kim hongjoong - portjackson shark

another cunty little shark for our cunty little guy. these guys are so gorgeous and cool and honestly remind me of hongjoong more than i care to admit

they’re known for being rather small, most of them not even growing to be one metre, and while they’re not particularly ferocious, they do have a generous spine protruding from their secondary dorsal fin. it’s like how hongjoong doesn’t look necessarily intimidating at first glance, but get him on stage and holy moly…

jeong yunho - bonnethead shark

i cant stop assigning silly looking sharks to jeong yunho and i will NOT apologise for that!! mr silly himself deserves to be represented by an animal just as silly as he is!!

they’re known to be pretty social sharks, often swimming in groups rather than by themselves. they’re not selfish or individualistic like a lot of other shark species and i think that represents yunho perfectly. he loves his team to death and you can clearly see that

kang yeosang - leopard shark

another cute little guy that i think represents yeosang so perfectly. whilst not as silly looking or as colourful as zebra sharks, they’re still sweet little guys with not a single bad bone in their body (well… cartilage i suppose)

they’re actually seen to display little to no fear of humans and are often viewed as being docile in nature. this doesn’t apply to their prey though since they’re pretty good hunters! it just reminds me of how yeosang is also seen as being ‘docile’ but behind it all there is an amazingly talented performer who isn’t afraid to be a little aggressive on stage when he needs to be

choi san - basking shark

now personally i hate basking sharks (which does NOT reflect on my views of choi san, i love that man so much!!) but i do have to say they’re the perfect choice for san…

they’re another species of shark that are viewed as being ‘gentle giants’, growing up to 8 metres in length yet only being filter feeders. i personally am afraid of them because of how scary they look despite just being big slow guys living their life peacefully; a sentiment i see reflected with san a lot (despite the fact that i don’t know how anyone can be scared of that big ball of fluff)

song mingi - hammerhead shark

listen guys, in the same way that saw sharks are just silly little men that are absolutely adorable, hammerhead sharks are also just fucked up little guys that most people agree are very sweet

these guys are literally physically incapable of hurting people, partly because of their sweet nature but also partly because of their tiny mouths. now i’m not saying mingi has a small mouth because that would be a lie, but i am saying that i don’t think that man could every intentionally hurt someone without feeling terrible for 4-5 business days

jung wooyoung - lemon shark

THIS IS THE COMPARISON IM MOST ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT GUYS!!! lemon sharks are so sweet and also very pretty (just like wooyoung)

due to their large brains, lemon sharks are incredibly social animals and often crave the attention of divers, swimming up to them and letting the divers touch and interact with them. they’re also known to express negative emotions (similar to jealousy) when divers are giving other sharks more attention. i just think with how sociable and sweet wooyoung is, this is the perfect shark

choi jongho - blue shark

am i sorry for continuing to give jongho the sharks that look like they’ve never had a thought in their life? absolutely not! he has those big beautiful boba eyes, he has to face the consequences

these little guys are incredibly versatile. they’ll live almost anywhere in temperate or tropical water, they’ll eat pretty much anything (even krill, despite them not being filter feeders), and whilst not necessarily being dangerous to people, have been known to take a nibble every now and then. maybe it’s just me but whenever i think versatile i think of jongho, and this shark looking a little silly just makes it even better

[scoobydoodean]

ok so forewarning, i don’t really have a question here, just lots of thoughts.

there’s so many layers to the general *badness* about the mia vallens therapy scene. like to the manipulation (for lack of a better word) that sam rewrites. like it makes such a difference that she thinks jack is their little brother instead of the son of the thing that killed dean’s best friend/loml. not to mention the fact that it’s been what like a week since *everything*

and like yes dean’s being cold towards jack and giving him orders (which, i could argue they weren’t uncalled-for), but tbh he’s only being moderately colder/more direct with him than he’s been with cas at times on hunts (thinking hunteri heroici) and even similar to how *sam* has been with like claire and even dean himself (thinking that episode dean turned into a teenager and all of MOC). like genuinely, how was sam expecting him to act like?

also (half joking) i genuinely think dean would’ve warmed up to jack even quicker than he did (we can already see it in this same episode, like that look he gives jack when he asks mia if buddy hurt her too) if he heard jack say he hates anakin skywalker lol

ok wait i do have a question. do you think jack actually was “terrified” of dean during that therapy scene?

(post linking to some context)

Okay so I rewatched 13.01-13.04 on a plane this past week so it's all extra fresh on my mind rn. The thing about 13.04 is that Dean wasn't comfortable bringing Jack on the hunt, and Jack didn't want to go, but Sam pushed insistently for all of them to go on the hunt together... primarily because Dean's feelings were thwarting Sam's plans for Jack and his own emotional coping mechanisms in a larger sense.

I think Dean's feelings compared to Sam's here are relatively more simple (and yet somehow still intensely misunderstood to a baffling degree). Dean was grieving. He was grieving Cas who died right in front of him, he was grieving Crowley (he pleads with Chuck to bring "even Crowley" back in 13.01!) and he was grieving Mary.

The thing with Dean's grief over Cas is this: instead of viewing it from Dean's perspective, we tend to analyze it as omniscient viewers who know Cas will come back, refusing see how miraculous Cas’s return truly was. We refuse to see Cas's death was different this time and appeared very permanent. There was no uncertainty like there was in season 7 or 8. His wings burned into the ground and his grace extinguished. Dean pleaded and prayed for Cas and Mary and Crowley's return to the only person who ever brought Cas back from certain death (via explosion in 5.01 and 5.22)—the person who told Dean in 11.23 he was leaving and Dean was on his own. Dean didn't hear back. The ONLY reason Cas comes back in 13.05 is that 1) Jack woke him him up unwittingly using powers no one knew he possessed and 2) Cas then annoyed a creature they didn't even know existed into letting him out of a place they 3) didn't even know existed and 4) Cas somehow came back with a body even though he had been burned to ash. All of this is completely miraculous. It was unforeseeable. It doesn’t even make complete sense as a viewer. In other words, Dean has ZERO reason to hope for Cas's return. There was ZERO reason to refuse to acknowledge that grief… but that's exactly what Sam does. He suggests Dean pray for Chuck to bring Cas back in 13.01. As soon as Sam knew Dean already tried that and Cas was DEAD dead, he treated Cas as something Dean needed to reframe and get over:

SAM: You thinking mom is gone and Cas is gone, and that Jack can’t be saved. Dean, after everything we’ve gone through… We just lost people we love, people who have been in our lives for a long time. Everything’s upside-down. I get it. But we’ve been down before. I mean, rock bottom. And we find a way. We fix it because that’s what we do.

This is the "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" speech in 13.02—like a day after they burned Cas's body. Sam's wording here is cruel too—saying Dean is "thinking" Cas is gone as if he didn't die right in front of him? He refuses to acknowledge Cas's death as something Dean was actively and rightfully mourning. This becomes a major point of contention between the brothers at the end of 13.03.

DEAN: Look, I know you think that you can use [Jack] as some sort of an interdimensional can-opener and that’s fine, but don’t act like you care about him! Because you only care about what he can do for you! So if you want to pretend, that’s fine! But me? I can hardly look at the kid! Because when I do all I see is everybody we’ve lost! SAM: Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack!

Sam will only name Mary—the one person whose death they can’t 100% confirm (the same thing happens in front of Mia in 13.04). The absence of Cas’s name here is pointed. So Dean says:

DEAN: And what about Cas?

And how does Sam respond?

SAM: What about Cas?

Uh... wow. That's what really sets Dean off to full on shouting:

DEAN: [Jack] manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!

Sam's denial of what Dean literally SAW (Cas died) and how that hurts—his insistence that Dean also halt grieving to hope for the impossible—it's a major sticking point and very revealing of Sam's own coping mechanisms. Sam's chief response to grief is to disassociate himself from it. We see a textbook case in season 8 (see: 8.08), but in most of the series, what this actually looks like for Sam is to keep moving and hunting (ex: 1.02, 2.02, 2.10, 2.11, 2.18 3.11, 4.09, 9.01) which is also why he insists on bringing Dean and Jack on the hunt in 13.04. Sam tries not to think about what they've lost and focuses on what he CAN do. He focuses on hoping Mary can be saved because she's the one person he didn't SEE die.

The thing about Dean’s grief over Mary is this: he convinces himself Lucifer had to have killed her. She's the one person whose death Dean can't be certain of, but he absolutely cannot bear the thought of hoping she’s alive and it turning out he’s wrong. He knows he wouldn’t psychologically survive hoping in that and his beliefs being crushed. It would be like losing his mom all over again (a THIRD time). So he sticks to what is most likely: Lucifer killed her. He can't contend with the hope Sam is clinging to desperately, and that's what makes them such poor companions in grief. Sam feels off balance when Dean won't keep moving and hoping like him—when Dean can't keep up the pace Sam wants to run at in his own grief—and in doing so, Sam keeps pushing Dean to contend with hopes that open Dean up to a WORLD of pain Sam can psychologically convince himself not to feel. Grieving together just really just doesn't work for them because they're never on the same page and deal in such different ways—and this has been hurting them from as early as 2.02!!!

Now to bring Jack into this more fully: Jack represents Sam and Dean's different perspectives on grief and on Mary. Just like Dean despairs over Mary's demise, Dean despairs over the possibility of Jack being good. He can't bear the idea of hoping in that and being wrong. The psychologically safest option for him is to assume the worst and not hope or believe in anything turning out okay.

Sam, on the other hand, pretty much immediately sees a way to use Jack to get Mary back. This is clear when he and Jack get locked up together in the jail cell in 13.01. After establishing that Jack isn't hearing things and (probably) isn't going to murder him imminently, Sam immediately starts down a line of questioning establishing how well Jack understands his powers, and then asks him outright:

SAM: Jack, look, um... before you were born, you -- you opened up a door to another world. Do you remember that? JACK: Yes. SAM: Okay, um, could you do that again?

Shortly after, when Sam arrives, he tells Dean (who is convinced after everything that happened in 12.23 that 12.19 that Jack is evil or will turn evil):

We need him.

Sam repeats this sentiment multiple times with clear meaning, and later in 13.04, he admits to Jack that he wants to use him to open the portal. This doesn't mean he doesn't also grow to see himself in Jack quickly and genuinely believe in his capacity for good, but he isn't fully honest with Jack about his motives until 13.04 where he finally comes clean, and this poisons the well with Jack a little.

@shallowseeker has pointed out before that in 13.03, while trying to figure out how to get Jack's powers to work (and spying on Jack through cameras from another room) Sam is seen reading "The Drama Of The Gifted Child". I wish I could find the post because Shal probably brought it up too, but when I was rewatching this episode, I noticed the chapter Sam had just settled into read before being interrupted was titled,

"Depression and Grandiosity: Two Related Forms of Denial"

Given the accusations flying from Sam toward Dean then from Dean toward Sam about denial in the following episode (13.04), this feels amusingly pointed. Dean is depressed (and about to attempt suicide in 13.05), Sam is depressed and has "grandiose" ideas of using Jack to pop open a portal to another reality while hiding behind the guise of being the most rational person in the room when he... isn't necessarily? And it's easy to argue "Well, Sam turns out to be right even if he didn't ultimately have much of a reason to think he was" but the core problem here is how his beliefs effect how he treats other people's grief. He isn't honest with Jack about his motives (while Dean is somewhat brutally honest) and pushes and watches even while claiming he's giving Jack space (13.03), he refuses to give Dean space to grieve even the family member they know is dead, he inserts a therapist into the situation and criticizes Dean's grief when Dean won't play his game, and in 13.05, after Dean says that he can't believe in anything right now, Sam's clumsy attempts at help involve plying Dean with alcohol he says he doesn't even want and trying to send him off to strip clubs—believing that Dean performing being okay will somehow address his mental state because Sam's idea of coping himself is simply "going through the motions".

As for Jack, I don't think he's scared of Dean. I think he's scared of what Dean believes. He's scared that Dean is right. From 13.01-13.06, Jack is contending with the question of whether he's destined for evil or good, and in his depressed state, Dean believes Jack is destined for evil because hoping in anything is completely beyond him at that moment. Sam tells Jack that he can be good, but he hides ulterior motives as to why he's being nice, and when those ulterior motives are revealed, it leaves Jack thinking Sam is the kind of person who will lie to Jack and tell him he's good just to get what he wants. Meanwhile, Jack knows Dean is being completely honest with him about what he believes. 13.03 and 13.04 clearly demonstrate that Jack understands the difference between beliefs and facts: Dean could be right or he could be wrong. What Jack holds onto like an anchor is that he can trust Dean to tell him the truth about what he believes—even if it hurts.

It's also just so obvious that Jack immediately wants Dean—specifically—to like him (see: Jack mimicking Dean's mannerisms while eating in 13.02, and his clumsy attempts to earn his favor in 13.04). Sam also picks up on this, and encourages Jack to seek Dean's approval in 13.04 to try and change Dean's beliefs. Sam (and to some extent Jack) are thinking in 13.04, that if Jack can prove to Dean that he can be good, and if Dean tells him he did a good job (which Dean does in the end), Jack can believe that. Sam sees that Jack wants Dean's approval and the impression that Dean's beliefs have had on Jack and thinks by pushing them together as soon as possible (when neither of them want to go on the hunt) and treating them as a family and forcing Dean to accept Jack when Dean just isn't ready (including by paralleling Jack with himself in a way that becomes an accusation), he can "fix" Jack so he isn't scared of his powers anymore (13.03) and then he can teach Jack to use his powers and Jack can open a portal to save their mom.

Jack's attempts to earn Dean's favor in 13.04 are clumsy. His first attempt is directly ignoring Dean telling him to wait in the car and sneaking into the crime scene, potentially contaminating it. At Mia's office, Jack's outburst about losing a mother is what allows Sam to set up the whole family therapy trap to begin with, and because Dean knows Sam is going to use that to hurt him, he warns Jack not to make outbursts like that. Dean is not being nice. Point blank. And I do think his tone is a little different than with Cas which in the past felt more like exasperation. I also don’t think it makes him the devil. I think that's understandable when putting in even a tiny amount of effort and it's kind of laughable to me how few people seem to even try because they're so caught up in Sam's happy family narrative and the idea that someone wanting Dean's approval presents an obligation that Dean give it no matter how emotionally impossible—and in a situation where asking him to lie would actually destroy that much more of Jack's trust.

[kisses-soft-like-sunshine]

Bittersweet - Part I;

Fluff w angst, Lee Know x fem!reader, coffee shop AU, idol AU, 2k words. Content warning: knife, mid violence, mention of blood and injury. nothing graphic!

I like to take things slow, I hope you'll enjoy ♡

Coffee is your thing. It has been for what feels like ages. You remember the first time you smelled the grounded beans your grandmother cherishes, slowly boiling in her French press on a dewy morning. The aroma of your father’s embrace when he would leave early for work, a mixture of wet dirt after a storm and dark chocolate. Coffee was always there for you, even if it took you time to grow accustomed to its taste – or rather tastes.

Everything changed when you set foot in a coffee shop for the first time, though. It didn’t matter how bitter the beverage was to your inexperienced pallet, this was the place for you. This warm blend of hurried workers desperate for a comforting break and silent readers having a cozy late breakfast. Everything about coffee shops always felt right for you, the music, the people, the ambiance. The smell. It smelled like home and excitement at the same time. So naturally you became a barista. You learned everything there was to learn about coffee. You knew it was hard-work, and you loved every bit of your life that it took over.

It had been 8 months since you left the peaceful boredom of your hometown for the buzzing capital city of South Korea. You always knew in your heart that you were meant to live the city life, if only for the plethora of coffee places big cities offer. Seoul became a dream destination when you had the opportunity to exchange with a few talented Korean baristas and roasters from a well-known Gangnam company. It then became an option when you successfully graduated and managed to charm your way into said company (in Korean nonetheless). You were now working at one of their newest coffee shop in Gangdong district. 

It had been 8 months since you left the peaceful boredom of your hometown for the buzzing capital city of South Korea and you felt lonely. Your heart was heavy with the concern that your dreams required sacrifices you didn’t know you had to make. How can your days go by seeing so many faces, hearing so many names and still felt so alone. You had friends of course, among which were your three usual coworkers, and language quickly managed to not be a barrier anymore. Yet, you felt so lonely it made your favorite blend turn to bitter dirt in your mouth as you finished your last cup of the day. A clot of black liquid to turn your heart dark - you thought. The autumn air could make you so dramatic. 

“Chilly Weather” by Norwegian Wood and Kim Jin Sol was playing over the speaker. The atmosphere was calm and cushy in the café at this time of day. Only two of you were working, and barely six customers were cruising or queuing or snoring in a booth. You could make out a few regulars. There was a woman in her late 40s, who religiously ordered the same ice cold drink at 8pm everyday (your shop was open till midnight). You always assumed she must work at night given her business attire and resigned expression, but you never dared to ask. Then there was the usual highschool student who liked to roam by, musing about their future adult life. There was also a young man, about your age, who always kept his face covered and always picked a discreet seat in the back, far from any windows. He would sometimes come in with a book or a friend, but you had yet to see his face. He was polite and his voice was kind and soft. His eyes glistened the way coffee does when it’s freshly served. You liked seeing him around, as if there was in him something that mirrored your loneliness. You kept yourself from feeding into this feeling, though, his secretive appearance reading as a “do not disturb” sign. One of your coworkers had informed you the coffee shop shares its street with a famous entertainment company and you sometimes wondered if he was not just one of the many idols working there.

You decided to clean up any table that needed to be cleaned when a young man rushed into the coffee shop, nearly bumping into you as he passed by. He didn’t even bother greeting you or your coworker and had a very determined look on his face. A bad kind of determination. His steps were heated and quick. You instantly noticed he was moving towards the young man sitting alone in the back. Before you even realized, you were swiftly following his pace. Coffee shops were relatively tranquil environments but the romantic setting had been the witness of numerous break-ups and lover's quarrels. You had learned to play the diplomat as to maintain the peace many customers seek here. The young man sitting at the booth seemed to pay no mind to his furious acquaintance, that until the other man screamed his name. You could feel every head in the café rise and turn. You promptly looked back at your coworker in a desperate attempt to communicate your surprise when the young man at the booth finally got up and asked the other man who he was. The angry man seemed even more furious now, as if the question had lit a fire in him. From where you were manically swiping a table that was already clean, you heard him mumble something about his girlfriend leaving him for the other man. A lover’s quarrel again it seemed. What is it with Thursday evenings… 

The few customers that hadn’t already left after the man shouted didn’t seem to be interested in the situation one bit, which you deemed lucky if the mystery customer was indeed a celebrity. This wasn’t the kind of free advertising neither him nor the coffee shop would enjoy. The man at the booth seemed to have no idea what the angry man was talking about, and you wondered if it was a habit of his, stealing people’s girlfriends. Were you always this noisy when anything eventful happened here on a slow evening? Or was it the glistening eyes of the young man that had drawn you in? Your gazes met when the angry man started spewing insults. Something else then caught your attention, something shiny that the angry man held in his right hand. Is this a knife? You wondered. IS THIS A KNIFE? You rushed to the scene when it finally hit you. The angry man was raising his knife to the customer when you placed your hand on his shoulder, swiftly making him turn to you. He froze in surprise as you grabbed onto the knife’s blade. You kept a straight face as blood started to run from your palm and immediately used the cleaning spray still in your other hand to blind the man with its content. He whined as the spray burned his eyes and intuitively let go of the knife to cover himself. A gasp escaped from the few witnesses and you heard your coworker dial the police. The angry man must have noticed too, and decided to flee the scene. 

Your heart was pounding in your veins and you could barely make sense of your surroundings, if it wasn't for the familiarity of it. The customer you had just saved was standing in front of you now, talking. You couldn't make out the words but kept on repeating that you were okay, that everything was…okay…the man grabbed onto your sides before you could collapse. His closeness made it easier for you to hear him.

“Let me take you to the hospital,” he said.

You nodded as an answer and the both of you were quickly out of the coffee before anyone could fully digest what had happened. He pulled you in his car as the lights of the city flew around you into thousands of shooting stars. You felt warm and cold at the same time. You fold in the car seat after this stranger - what am I doing in a car with a stranger? - kindly puts your seat belt on.

“Are you okay? I'm so sorry…” he says as he starts the car.

- “I'm fine… it's been a long… day… I just… I'm just tired…” you answer. “I haven't eaten yet.”

You can feel the car going faster as the night sky and the buildings blend into brush strokes. You can faintly see the man’s reflection in your window. His eyes draw your features on the glass like a wet brush fuses with aquarelle. You don't know whether you should trust your sight or not. After all, you're still in shock from what happened. What happened? 

“We’re here,” the man says. You feel a shiver crawl down your spine. His voice is kind and soft. You let him guide you out of the car, carefully holding you by the arm as to let your injured hand rest. 

- “Lucky me being left-handed,” you say. Both of you lightly chuckle to diffuse the tension as you make your way to the hospital entrance. 

The stranger helps you fill the paperwork as you wait on one of the temporary beds in the emergency room.  You realize he now knows your name while you do not know his. A nurse comes in to check on you and the man tells you he will wait for you in the waiting room. The cut is less deep than you had expected. You were fortuitous to be holding on a dust rag when you grabbed the knife by the blade. That was a pretty dumb move… The nurse neatly stitches you up, warning you of the future scar you’ll get. She prescribes you painkillers for the few days to come and a check-up in two weeks from now. You are not to work for seven days which feels like a bigger punishment than the scar. 

You come to join the stranger in the waiting room but he is nowhere to be found. You take a seat wondering if you should call a cab or wait. You finally decipher his back at the front desk. He is lean and comfortably dressed. He turns to you and smiles as he hastily walks to join you. A plastic bag dangles from one of his hands.

“Here. You said you haven’t eaten yet. I didn’t know what you liked so I got you a bit of everything.”

- “Thank you,” you reply. You open the bag to discover a variety of convenience store snacks. You open up an onigiri and bite into it.

“What did the nurse say?” He asks politely.

- “She had to stitch me up but the cut wasn’t deep enough for any nerve to be damaged. I still have to come back in two weeks.” you answer while finishing your snack. To hell with being well-mannered. “I should go pay the bill.”

“No need,” he says, eyes locking into yours. “It’s the least I could do.” You look into each other for a moment, slowly blinking in agreement. “Should I drive you back to the coffee shop… or perhaps your home?” 

You hesitate before answering. After everything you are still two strangers. Or at least he is to you. A stranger who causes trouble in public places nonetheless…

- “Home, if you don’t mind,” you answer, inclined to trust him no matter what. You both get up and leave. He hands you the bag on your way out and gently insists you keep its content. You can tell words are clogging in his throat. You’re both seated back in the car when he finally talks again.

“I don’t know whether I should apologize or thank you.” he says, head low on the steering wheel. “Thank you.” his eyes meet yours as he says those words heavily. 

- “Ah! No worries, I’m a part-time knife catcher. Coffee doesn’t pay the bills” you answer with a grin on your face. He laughs the stress off.

“Rest if you want.” You wonder if he’s always this caring as the car drives away. You rest your head on the cold window and your eyes quickly shut. Had they been opened you would have noticed how quickly his smile left his mouth. How soft his gaze was whenever he could look at you instead of the road. How his fingers nervously played with the leather of the steering wheel.

The car smoothly makes its way in front of your apartment when you finally wake up. You look up at the driver with tired eyes. He seems as exhausted as you. 

“Thank you for driving me home,” you tell him softly.

- “It’s the least I could do.”

“I don’t even know your name”

- “It’s…” he hesitates and you wonder why. “It’s Lee Minho.” You realize it’s your first time seeing him without a hat or a face mask. When did he remove them? His face is familiar but you can’t pin it. He is strickingly handsome which leaves you silent for a few minutes.

“I don’t mean to intrude but… whoever this man was, you should probably go to the police about him.” you finally say.

- “I don’t know him. I swear. Maybe he mistook me for someone else… I mean I have a pretty common name” You nod, more as a way to show you understood than you agree. You don’t agree. Something about this whole situation seems off. But it doesn’t really have to be your problem does it?

“Alright… I believe you.” You do not understand why but you truly do. “I should go now, it’s getting late.” He stays silent when you open the door and leave. As you fetch your keys, he comes out of the car to join you and hands you a piece of paper.

- “Here. Take this. It has my number on it. If anything happens, call me. I’ll be there.” he says. His dark eyes reflect the light like the sea reflects the moon. Your hands gently brush as you take the card, leaving goosebumps all over both of your bodies.

“Goodnight, Lee Minho” you say before the entrance to your apartment closes.

- “Goodnight, Y/N.” he calls back. 

You dreamed of nothing but coffee and him that night, feverish with pain and infatuation. 

[inmyheaddd]

Hi love, could i request maybe a Jameson version of your childhood friends to lovers with Grayson. Maybe in Jamie’s version reader is like the daughter of Tobias’ tailor or something like that.

jameson hawthorne childhood friends to lovers head cannons

thankyou so much for the reqq, this is a long one but def one of my favs i’ve written so far!! wc: 4.9k

being the daughter of one of tobias’ close friends, who was also his tailor, meant you were often at the hawthorne house.

when your dad needed someone to watch you when your parents would go out, tobias would always offer for you to come over to the House and play with his grandsons.

at 7, you didn’t have much in common with any of them, but talking to them was still the best part of your day.

one of them in particular made your day better, jameson.

the first time you met him, you were 7 and he was 8. you and your dad were standing outside the front door. a maid opened it, and jameson being the curious child he was, was standing not far behind.

“who are you?” he asks whilst holding a pen, an apple, and a usb stick in his hands. you later learned jameson holding random miscellaneous items was a common occurrence; he practically lived for games.

“i’m y/n” 

“hey buddy,” your dad jumps in, crouching to meet jamesons height. jameson already knew your dad and thought of him as a funny uncle he never had.  “this is my daughter, i’m gonna be dropping her off with you lot while i’m out running errands, that okay with you?”

“does she like playing games?” he asks

“she loves playing games, right honey?” 

“yeah…” you say, looking at your feet. jameson sees that and smiles to himself.

“good,” he says with a wide grin on his face “i love games,” he continues.

“great, you two will have so much fun.” your dad says as he pats his shoulder, “have fun, alright sweetie?” 

you and your dad say goodbye, and you’re now standing in the foyer with 8 year old jameson. “hi. what’s your name?” you ask, realizing he hasn’t told you his name yet.

“jameson. do you wanna see my favorite secret passage?”

“you have secret passages?!” you ask, dumbfounded because you thought that stuff only existed in movies.

“so many of them,” he says dragging the “so”. jameson had a slight lisp because he lost one of his top two teeth, and it made you laugh slightly whenever he spoke. 

jameson sensed your nervousness at the start and was by your side all day, doing all the talking and getting the awkwardness out of the way.

you swore he was like your white knight in that moment.

in 10 minutes, you were best friends—well, as close as you could get to a random boy you just met. but as kids, all you need is one thing in common in order to be besties for life.

he then introduced you to his brothers.

grayson was standoffish with you at first, but soon enough, he warmed up. 

nash was 5 years older than you, so he didn’t really see a reason why he would need to be friends with a 7-year-old, but he was still always polite and never failed to make you laugh.

you and xander got along great; he was like another younger sibling to you. 

jameson was just something else. even at 8 years old, he still managed to make little you blush. maybe it was because he was the first one you met; who knows? all you knew was that you absolutely loved talking to him, and you were devastated when your dad came and it was time for you to leave.

“if you want, i can carry your toys outside." he said to you, when you were struggling to pick up all your things and your newfound treasures you and jameson had found in the backyard.(random rocks and stones)

“no it’s okay. i’m a dependent woman,” you say, sticking your chin up high. 

jameson grins at you. “isn’t it independent woman?” 

“i don’t know... i just heard it on tv” you say with an honest shrug as you both laugh.

ever since that day, you were always over at each other's houses.

jameson brought you so much out of your comfort zone

one day you were talking about how you wanted to have a tea party, but you didn’t want jameson to think it was silly.

“what would you think of a tea party? hypo-hyporectically” you ask, unsure of how to say the word you heard some adults say.

“i don’t really think of tea parties,” he replies, as he’s taking apart a pen, seemingly looking for something. 

“but what if you did? like, if someone asked you to one?” you ask again, your voice pitching higher at the end of the question.

“do you want to have a tea party?” he chuckles while raising his eyebrows, looking away from the pen and up at you.

“yeah..? it’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“who said i didn’t want to? i’d love to.”

“oh” you say, and a small smile starts to creep up on your face. “that’s good. we should have one”

“you’re right, let me go call my brothers!" he says halfway through running towards one of the many secret passages.

“wait, no!” you exclaim, and you start to chase after him. “they’re going to think it’s stupid!” 

he shouts as he continues to run . “no they won’t, they’ll love it.” 

“please please please please don’t ask them, jameson.” you’re practically begging him not to ask them. you were extremely comfortable around jameson, but for some reason, the idea of asking the others to join made you feel silly.

he finally stood and turns around, and he’s extremely out of breath. “fine, only if you beat me in a race.”

“what?! no way!”

“i’ll give you a head start,” he says in a singsong voice.

he stays true to his word and gives you a head start; but he still wins.

looking back, you’re so glad he asked them because they all ended up agreeing, and the whole night was filled with laughter and fun. 

it was definitely one of your core memories. grayson was crowned the moodiest tea party princess - there’s a legit certificate of it somewhere in the house signed by all 5 of you.

soon enough, you started to participate in the saturday game mornings, and there was always a friendly fire between you and jameson. 

you’d agree to work together, knowing fully well that you’d both end up double-crossing each other at the end.

jameson made a few nicknames for you: the most used one was sewing machine, but it later shortened to “machine”; he said it also worked because ‘your brain worked as fast as a machine’. jameson and his reasoning...

as tweens, you and jameson were a nightmare to adults.

you would always make up the craziest random competitions on the spot:

“who can skip backwards whilst also saying the alphabet backwards without messing up”

“who can close their eyes and win tic-tac-toe 3 times in a row first.” spoiler alert: none of you won that one.

“who can annoy grayson the most today” usually, jameson would win that one. 

as you grew older, your dad would ask you to drop off some of tobias’ suits at the house and then come back home.

yes, you would drop off the suits, but you’d spend another 5+ hours there hanging out with jameson.

your dad obviously knew this, but he was fine with it. he knew jameson was a good person, and he had a hunch that you felt something for him.

you and jameson went through all the phases together.

he will never admit it, but he did have a pop music phase for a while with you... 

tell anyone, and he’ll deny it like his life depended on it (katy perry, lana, and taylor swift carried him through 2014).

you also had a very short-lived grunge phase. he still has his ears pierced from when you pierced them at home for him.

you both only wore black for a week, but ultimately decided it wasn’t for you.

you also went through a gaming phase. jameson had a whole room built purely for games, which you barely used after that short lived era. it didn’t go to waste though; xander transformed it into his designated robot room.

you guys didn’t go to the same school at this time, so practically every day after school you’d meet up somewhere and talk, or one of you would go to the other's house and hang out there.

you’d usually go to the hawthorne house to talk about your day with jameson, while discovering new secret passages and puzzles in the house.

the thing is, you weren’t like this with anyone else. but when you were with jameson, you never had to pretend or try, being yourself with him was as easy as breathing. you never had to worry about being judged. you always thought this was just because you knew him for so long. 

at 14, you had your first real crush (or so you thought). 

the guy sat next to you in english, and every time you would need ‘to discuss your answers with the person next to you’ you’d talk to him, and you guys would always go off topic. 

talking to him sort of felt like talking to jameson. 

whenever you mentioned him to jameson, he would suddenly seem uninterested. you figured it was because the topic of crushes was more girl talk. you soon stopped talking about him.

you two ended up getting into a relationship with him at 15; it was 2 weeks (2 weeks too long) and extremely boring.

he clearly felt the same way, because he’d always be late to your hangouts or have some dummy excuse. one time he blew you off for the mall when you were already there. 

you decided to roam around anyway and do some shopping, and there he was, walking hand in hand with some other girl in your school. then he leaned in and kissed her.

you didn’t even know what to do. you froze. it's like your brain was on autopilot, and the only thing it knew how to do was call jameson.

“hey machine, what’s up?”

“hey, um, are you free right now?” you ask, biting your bottom lip and hoping for a good response. 

“i’m always free for you. is something wrong?” 

“no, nothing's wrong!” your voice begins to waver, and you pray he doesn't notice.

“i know you well enough to not believe that lie. where are you?” 

“it doesn’t matter, can i come over? i’m fine, just…” you pause, looking for the right excuse, but you come with nothing.

“just what, y/n?” he says softly.

“i can come over right?” you avoid his question by asking one of your own.

“of course you can,” he says, with a hint of confusion in his voice.

“okay, bye”

“wait wh-“

you shut your phone off and take a deep breath, closing your eyes and pinching your nose bridge. “what am i even doing?” you think to yourself

as you arrive to his house, you notice that some of his friends are just leaving. you start to feel guilty on top of what you’re already feeling as you realize he must’ve gotten them to leave for you to come. it’s like, at any second, you’re going to break and pour out all your emotions.

when he opens the door for you, he immediately does a once-over on your outfit and realizes you were meant to meet up with that guy from your english class. he knows this because whenever you hang out with him, you dress like the type of people he likes. not what you like. 

“you wanna tell me what’s going on?” he asks, looking down at you with soft eyes.

you shake your head, looking at your feet, and when you make eye contact with him, the strong facade you put on in front of everyone else cracks, and your eyes start to water. 

he pulls you in for a hug and you try your hardest not to cry.

”you don’t have to be strong around me.” the second he said those words it’s like a dam broke out in your eyes.

a few minutes later, no one could even try to stop your ranting. “he’s always- he’s always blowing me off, and whenever he does show up- he’s always so, so, so late” you say in between hiccups and sniffles. you knew future-you would be mortified from the ugly crying on his shoulder, but in the moment, you just needed to be with jameson. 

you continue to express your feelings, and when you mention the fact that he was hanging out with another girl today, and kissed her, he pulls back from the hug and places his hands on your shoulders.

“i’m sorry, what?” he says with his eyes narrowed. 

“he had you, and he was with someone else? you have to be joking.” 

when you don’t respond, he turns his head away from you and mutters under his breath, “im gonna kill this guy” 

he turns to face you again.

“what’s his name again? full name” 

“jameson.” you warn seriously as you tilt your head.

“his name is jameson too? what a coincidence! we can have a lovely chat about what it’s like to be called jameson.” he remarks sarcastically, with a tight-lipped smile on his face. 

you half-roll your eyes and say, "his name isn’t jameson. ive told you his name before” 

“i don’t store unnecessary, wasteful information in my brain. it messes with my aura,” he jokes to make you feel better as he moves his hand and gestures around his face, then places it back on his shoulder. “now though, his name is very useful to me. his name?” 

you tell him his name, and you can practically see jameson store it away in his brain.

"let's get you inside, yeah?"  

the rest of the night, jameson was being extra unpredictable and funny to make you forget about recent events, and he was literally doing anything you asked.

he always complains and groans when you want to watch old timey movies, but that day he had no problem with watching little women & pride and prejudice.

he was still himself though.

“i don’t understand how you like this movie; it’s so... boring.”

“this movie would be so much better with action cars and sound effects.” that one earned a half-chuckle out of you.

“it’s like you don’t even have to guess or predict anything; it just happens?”

midway through his complaining, he looks over at you and sees you're fighting to stay awake.

“oh, that’s why you weren't responding” he murmurs 

he told himself off in his brain to stop talking so you could sleep, and at the end of the movie he carried you to one of the many guest rooms and put you in bed.

in the middle of the night you woke up, in an unfamiliar room. you remembered that you were last watching a movie with jameson, ‘did he bring me here?‘ you thought as you got up out of bed and stretched. 

jameson heard a knock on his bedroom door and opened it, he was shocked to see you awake. 

“what are you doing here?” he says, his voice low like he hasn’t used it in a while. 

“um, i woke up, and i couldn’t go back to sleep,” you say as you scratch the back of your neck 

“you wanna sleep here?” he asks with his classic jameson smile, even when he’s half asleep.

“if it’s alright with you” you say, starting to smile back at him.

“all yours,” he says as he opens the door fully to let you in first, then closes the door behind you and follows you.

you asked him what time it was, and he answered. but his mind wasn’t focused on the time. it was like every single moment you two had spent together was crashing out of his mind, and all he could think of was you. he laid on his back, staring up at the wall with you next to him, laying on your side, already sleeping. 

he knew he loved you. he had known that for a while. he knew you weren’t only a childhood friend, you weren’t only some girl whose dad was friends with his grandfather, you weren’t just a girl who he’d laugh with sometimes. you were it. you were everything to him. you’d seen him through everything he’s been through, and you still always stayed. you were kind and forgiving in times when no one, not even him, deserved it. you were everything and more. 

but in his mind, he wasn’t.

“compared to your brothers, your mind is ordinary." the old man’s voice rang through his head. 

he looked over at you and realized that he didn’t deserve you. not one bit. he couldn’t bear to see you hurt again, and it would tear him apart if he was the reason for it - because he wasnt good enough. being just friends with you was safer, but it was also tearing him apart every passing day. 

he needed to be better, for you.

over the next few weeks, jameson started to distance himself.

you were so confused. “did i do something?” “was the crying too much?” “i messed everything up” were thoughts that clouded your brain for months.

jameson on the other hand, was thinking this was all for the better. 

“i’ll get better at this, i'll be perfect for her, and then ill come back”

he just kept striving to do one more thing, but it was never enough for him. he felt like he’d always be one step away from perfect. 

but he had to be perfect, so he kept trying.

you and jameson turned into strangers who happened to know everything about each other. you’d still text each other sometimes, pretending like nothing happened and wishing the other a happy birthday.

your birthdays didn’t feel the same without him.

your favorite birthday was when he gifted you a riddle box you had to solve when you were 14. once you solved it, there was a letter inside titled “to my best friend." some spelling mistakes here and there, but you still treasured it like it was worth all the money in the world. 

it was the summer before you started 11th grade, and you were going to be attending heights country day that year.

you went downstairs to get a cup of water, and as you were standing looking at the fridge, you noticed an old drawing you made at eight of you and your family hung up on the fridge. on it, there was little jameson next to you and labeled it “my best friend”.

 your mood was instantly dampened, and you started reminiscing about times long gone.

 you went to reread the letter in the riddle box that he once gave you. you knew that moving schools would mean you’d have to face jameson much more frequently. 

you wanted to remember what you once had. “maybe if i don’t mess up this time, i could have that again.” it was putting salt on an open wound.

you sat down on your desk, placed your water next to you, and opened that riddle box once again. the familiarity of the whole process from how many times you’ve opened it made it no longer a riddle. it was practically muscle memory now. you took out the letter, and reached to turn on your lamp, accidentally knocking the cup of water in the process.

you immediately got up from your chair as the water spilled all over your desk and picked up the letter.

“shit shit shit shit,” you repeated as you tried to salvage it. 

“no no no, this can’t be happening,” you murmured as your voice started to shake.

you brang it up in front of your face and noticed the back, and you started to see writing appear that you'd never seen before.

“am i tripping?” you questioned, and turned it around back and forth, then you started to chuckle. “there’s no way.” 

you then realized he used one of many hawthorne classics - invisible ink.

you sat down back at your desk and took a picture of the letter, just in case it disintegrated later on.

you started to read through the new writing that you had just discovered. 

“hey machine, i know you’ll never read this, but i’m writing it anyway. that’s something i do a lot—things that are useless just for that rush of excitement, for that risk. mother says im “hungry”. im starting to think she’s right.

in all seriousness though, i'm actually not hungry. i just did a scone eating competition with xander. not our brightest idea. i think i wont have to eat for the next 10 years of my life. 

okay, in actual all seriousness, i love you. i should’ve probably done some big lead up to that, but honestly, thats all i know. all i know is that i love you. you make me feel a feeling that’s unexc unexpli unexplainable—that’s love, isn’t it? whenever i’m with you, i never feel like i need more, like im "hungry."  you’re it for me. you’re everything and more. the old man once said to me, ��there’s men like us only love once, fully, wholeheartedly. it’s all consuming and eternal." i think he knows—hell, he probably knew before i did—that i love you. how could i not? everything about you is so perfect. i knew you were going to be someone important in my life since the second i laid eyes on you. i just never knew how much.” your hand covered your mouth as you continued to read, as you got to the end, you swear your heart broke in two. “…what i'm trying to say is, i would carry your toys for you any day if it means i get to see you smile - if it means you’re happy. i would go through any phase in the world, as long as it's with you. i would discover every secret passage if it meant discovering it with you. i'd climb every mountain, i'd watch every rom-com, i'd read every book, i'd do anything, if it was you asking.

i love you, machine.

endlessly and eternally yours, 

jameson” 

by the end of the letter, you were in shambles.

he loved you? for all this time? and you never even knew? if he loved you, why’d he leave?

you knew the letter was old, and it was written before you two drifted apart, but something inside of you was itching to call him and tell him what you found—what you know now.

you called him, waited, and waited. you were just about to hang up and forget all about it when he picked up on the 5th ring.

“jameson, hi” 

“machine?” he sounded almost in shock. he cleared his throat and spoke again.

“y/n, hi. to what do i owe the pleasure of this call?” he seems to have regained his composure quickly.

a smile found your face. he still talks the same.

however, it quickly fades when you remember the premise of which you’re calling. 

“i know this is extremely random, but um. i was rereading a letter you once gave me, the one from that riddle box.” you pause and wait for his response. 

“yes?”

''and water spilled on it." you continue

“oh.” you hear him shuffle for a second, and he continues, “i’m sure you enjoyed 15-year-old me’s spelling mistakes."

“there weren’t that many, actually,” you say with a small chuckle. 

jameson hated talking to you like this, like you weren’t practically the same person split into two. but he knew it was his fault.

“yeah, i'm pretty sure i used a grammar checker. or i asked grayson. same thing” 

you laugh. and your laugh has him regretting every single decision he made that didn’t involve you. he was such an idiot for leaving in the first place. he needed to make things right.

“that’s grayson for you,” you reply, and he’s brought back to reality. 

he lets out laugh, and then says, “you know, i heard from a little birdie that you’re moving to heights country day this year.” 

“yeah, i am actually,” you reply with a small smile. 

jameson hears your smile in your voice. the things he would do to be able to see that smile.

the rest of the conversation goes smoothly, and it ends with jameson asking you to come over for a rundown of what to do in school. what he was really asking, was for you to come over so you could talk about the letter. 

you arrived at the hawthorne house exactly on time.

 jameson opened the door and smiled at you. in that moment, you swear you actually felt your heart skip a beat.

a few hours later, when you’ve gotten back into the rhythm of talking with jameson and laughing with him, he actually started to help you with school. he gave you some of his books from last year for you to catch up on. 

he was on a ladder, reaching for one of the books in one of many libraries, and you were behind him basically ogling at his arm and back muscles that were peeking through his white shirt. he really had grown.

he suddenly says “my feelings didn’t change, you know.” 

“what?” 

“the letter.” he says when he turns around with the book in his hand. he pauses for a second, searches your face, and continues. 

“i feel every single thing for you now than i did then, probably even more if it’s even possible. i could never forget about you. every corner of this house has memories of me and you. so does every corner of my mind. i love you.”

he puts the book down, takes a step forward, and you look up at him.

“jameson i..” you trail off, trying to find the right words. i’ve loved you since i could remember. every good memory i have has you right next to it. since the second i went through that first passage with you, i had a feeling that i never felt before, and it kept growing with every step i took. every step we took, together. i love you." and after a second, you continue. "but why’d you leave?” you say that with your eyebrows slightly furrowed and a light shake of your head.

when you say those last words, a flash of hurt passes through his eyes.

“i’m sorry. i wish i could give you some great reason why i did, but i cant." he takes a deep breath in "i wanted to be better for you. i didn’t want to be ordinary with you.” that was the first time he ever confided in someone about that feeling. ordinary.

“jameson. you’re everything to me.” 

“i wasn’t enough.”

“you’re more than enough.” you tell him truthfully, and you reach your hand up to his face.

he does the same, and somehow he steps forward to be even closer to you than he already is.

"i love you, jameson, more than anything in this world. i'll spend every day of my life proving it to you if that's what it takes for you to see that you're not ordinary, you could never be. you're everything."

he looks down at you for a few seconds, and his eyes flicker from your lips to your eyes. 

he murmurs in a low voice, “if i kiss you, i don’t think ill ever be able to stop.” 

“who says i want you to stop?” your voice comes out barely audible. 

and with that, he kisses you. 

it was a slow, passionate kiss. one that said all the words you two weren’t able to. it wasn’t rushed; it was love.

your arms moved to wrap around the back of his neck, and his moved to your waist, drawing you in somehow closer than you already were.

for the rest of the night everything was normal between you two, like no time had passed at all. except you were extremely giddy, and jameson had his flirt on 100x more. 

later on, you two are lying on the couch with your head on his chest. he was playing with your hair when he broke the comfortable silence.

“you know that one guy, from your english class?”

“ugh, don't remind me of him,” you groan.

jameson chuckles, and you feel the vibrations coming from his chest. 

“i’m sorry, i’m going to have to,” he says through a smile as he pats your arm, and he resumes.

"whatever," you grumble through a small smile. "continue?" you add on.

“after you left that day, i told grayson what happened—not everything, but enough. he was the only person at the time who knew i liked you. back to the point, we went to the mall, and lucky for us, that guy was still there. his little lady friend seemed to be somewhere else. but there he was.” 

“oh my god,” you mumble as you turn your head to face him, “what did you do?”

a smirk starts to appear on his face as he looks down at you. “what makes you think i did anything?” 

“well for one, that smirk on your face,” you say with a laugh, “and secondly, well, i know you.”

he looks up at the ceiling and smiles. 

“me and grayson had bruised knuckles for a week or two, but it was worth it.” he chuckles as looks down at you.

“oh my god,” you mutter for the second time that day as you turn your head to the side and look away from him. you look back at him with raised eyebrows and a finger pointed at his face, “you’re insane.” 

“you love it.” 

after a beat of silence you respond, looking into his eyes with your voice barely audible.

“yeah, i guess i do.”

this was so longg, honestly idek if these even classify as head cannons anymore. atp they’re whole stories. sometimes writing for jameson is hard for me because i have no idea how to think like him, so i apologize if this is out of character 😭

anywayy i hope you enjoyed, lmk if you did! 🤍

[inchidentally]

something about those pictures of Oscar with his friends really got me crazy about landoscar. Their lives are infinitely different and i feel like thats a huge part of their dynamic. I'm not even going to say that they complement each other anymore, it's an entire opposites attract at this point. and it got me thinking about Oscar's fascination with Lando. Oscar's "you went everywhere!" or picking Lando for a having a good time MULTIPLE TIMES.... etc. Lando's "oscar's cool he's calm and relaxed" or "he's down to earth". so many times where the difference in their lifestyle showed yet the other person is interested in that. thinking about Lando going from club to club to club to country to country to model to model vs Oscar has probably vacationed in the same place with the same people for a month and has had the same gf since high school. i just feel like they both would integrate into the other's life so well because each one has got a missing piece of the puzzle for the other. you know what i mean? like does that make sense?am i sounding crazy again? thoughts?

ANON PLS you make nothing but sense !!

literally the things like they love about each other being the ways they're different!! Oscar has been a fanboy for over 8 or 9 years ?? of Lando not just bc of Lando's successes in racing but he's also an ardent follower of the ways in which Lando is extroverted and wild and funny and unpredictable. as you said Lando always says what he likes the most about Oscar is how steady and down to earth and just a good person he is.

and their holidays like this one always make me think of the latest sportbible and their ideal first date ideas where Oscar is super traditional and has only ever had one first date in his life so far - and Lando's like oh we fuck before we even get out the door for dinner safhalfghalfgasjfgajls

Oscar politely seeing the sites with Lily in a 'Mark's travel agent recommended it' set of locations and then a holiday rental with old friends going karting playing tennis and eating pizzas and gasp!! not shaving !!... vs Lando practically begging strangers in three different countries to cup his exposed breasts and ovulating nipples while playfully evading fans' attempts to track his movements like an Aeolian sex sprite turning a lush golden shade of tan beneath the kisses of an adoring Mediterranean sun

and the way in which that all translates to them as teammates and now friends but also how they're still so gently pawing at said friendship bc they want to spend more time together but don't want to directly push for it and their reactions to team orders drama is to laugh together and put on smiles for the other and the way they gloated over the drama faced by other teams during silly season bc Lando kept slipping up acting as if they'd been together "years" already instead of barely two and they gently push the muzzles of fans and media and netflix out of their time together like needy dogs trying to sneak into a bathroom likeeeeeee they are so something thoroughly unique together !!!

[thrandilf]

alright so Aaravos can't be killed permanently unless he's executed like the Cosmic Order did to his daughter, and we were just introduced to the Cosmic Order as the sort of Big Big Bad Awful antagonists- I'd wager that Callum being a human with two arcana may get their attention, so there's reason for them to be against the Main heroes/Xadia at large

so I'm sitting here like, what's to become of Aaravos?

Imprisoning him again would be the most anticlimatic thing ever after we waited 6 seasons to get him out

Can't kill him

I guess we could kill him for like, a little bit and that could be a season finale if it had to be but doesn't feel fulfilling to me

We could work with him, but he just had 6 seasons of build up as an antagonist and even IF he's in the right it'll be a hell of a battle to get to working together against a common enemy because I may be Team Aaravos but at this time literally no one else but Claudia is

We could reach some uneasy agreement where we just have to live with him but I don't know what sort of compromise he'd want/how that factors into a big kaboom possible end season of a series

Aaravos leaves Xadia altogether to go after the Cosmic Order, with What I have no idea, as I'm hoping his actions for the past 1000 years will make more sense soon. What has he needed to Wait for

On that note, the stars could align again and the Cosmic Order comes down to Xadia next season and we have to join Aaravos against them which seems kind of like the fastest option if we only have One season for all of this shit. Really weird though, if the Celestial Elves had nothing to say about this happening soon/any kind of prophecy so who knows. it would seem kind of out of the blue

Also, the Cosmic Order could come here, Aaravos gets what's to us a tragic death at their hands, and seasons 8-10 if we get them are about taking down the Cosmic Order but since Aaravos has spent so little time onscreen it would feel weird to kill him but I don't know anything so maybe

Idk, just my thoughts, we know his motivation/goal but unless if it really is just "generate enough chaos to get the Cosmic Order's attention for 1000 years while also taking out people I have grudges against" and that's the extent of his plan, I just don't know what else he's doing/it does seem like he doesn't actually care about humans if he'd kill so many of them, even right up to before he gets the most sympathetic, so idk. I'm not even sure what he's doing now that he's out except maybe wrecking stuff in Xadia? Which could somehow meet his chaos goal?

He's so precise about his actions but to what actual useful end and what he needs next I just have no fucking clue I'm gonna be so real

[firestorm09890]

actually sort of unbelievable how much Zexion haunts the narrative compared to the other Organization members in Castle Oblivion. Vexen also does, but like, he actually deserves to. It's his replica project that's a central plot device in both CoM and Days, him not being there to keep it on track causes many problems. but Zexion? it's. a lot, especially considering back in 2004 people on game forums were calling him the most useless organization member (no respect for strategists smh, it's aaaalways about powerscaling and combat ability to these people)

we start with Replica Riku going to fight Riku after realizing that even if he has "newfound power" (Zexion's) it's still not actually his. in the Days novel Axel brings up Repliku devouring Zexion like two other times when thinking about Xion's state of being. I'm not even counting this. novels don't count and it's not like Repliku uses any illusions or anything, it's just his raw power.

In regular canon Days, Axel makes explicit mention of him when talking to Saïx.

He also mentions Marluxia, but it's in the middle of their conversation, when talking about how Marluxia was a traitor after all. This, on the other hand, is like an important thing Axel almost forgot to mention.

He later brings up getting rid of Vexen and Zexion, but the first time is just Zexion. These two are true for both DS Days and HD Cutscene Days.

And then! Zexion gets a voiced cutscene in the middle of Days! The game that does not do voiced cutscenes except for when they want to do something really big!

my beautiful wife nintendo ds dual screen

And they couldn't just reuse things from Re:CoM either because the memory Riku's having was of a moment that used dialogue bubbles, they put in work for this.

I think?? The scene is supposed to showcase Xion absorbing thoughts from other people? It's really weird since it's the only time it happens to someone who isn't Roxas but you know what this means? Riku was thinking about it. 8 months later, Zexion's accusations are still burned into his mind. This is REAL NARRATIVE HAUNTING, BABEY and it KEEPS GOING

Before Zexion put the idea in his head, Riku didn't even consider that Sora might not accept him with the darkness in his heart. He had his big moment in CoM where he accepted himself, but it still scared him badly enough that he did... basically everything he did in kh2 instead of trying to find Sora and talk to him. Zexion's actions "lived" this long. I think it's 3/4 that Sora's memories of CO were erased and 1/4 that Marluxia simply did not have the presence in the Organization to leave a gaping void after his death but man, the final boss left barely a whisper in comparison to this.

And then finally there's this of course

done to keep his weapon a mystery but how weird do you think it must've felt for the characters to see it? did they wonder what happened? I sure wonder what happened

also I lied this somehow isn't the end. for whatever reason in Melody of Memory Zexion gets more spotlight than almost every other member of the original organization except xemnas and the sea salt trio

in conclusion i hate it here. I would also say Vexen deserves more respect for leaving the most obvious void in the group after his death except that someone wrote a full 358/2 Days au longfic about it so I really don't need to

[melanieph321]

Dominik Szoboszlai x Black Reader - First Sight Part 4/8

The Ex

This story is about the night reader met her boyfriend Dominik and the series of crazy events that led up to the beginning of their love story.

Enjoy!

"Say something, please?"

You were still locked in the bathroom, faces inches apart, with Dominik pressing your back against the wall."

"Dominik?"

He didn't say anything for a few moments, just stared at you in stunned silence. You felt a lump form in your throat, waiting for his reaction. You once dread having to explain your sexuality to people, but your parents taught you at an early age about the importance of being open and honest about what you feel and for who, and since you liked Dominik, alot, he desrved to know.

"So erm...." He cleared his throat, making an effort to speak up. However the words that came out of his mouth made you want to slap him. "So you're one of them, huh?"

"A lesbian?" You frowned.

"Yeah?"

You sighed, "Yes. I guess I am, one of them. "

"Right."

"Actually I'm bi."

"Of course you are." He chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "Look, Y/N, maybe it was just me, but I really thought that you and I...you know, had something?"

"I thought so too." You mumbled, your eyes darting at the floor. But I've never..."

"Been with a man before?"

You nodded.

"....yeah I got that part." Dominik stopped pressing you against the wall, the moment between you having passed. He still lingered in the bathroom, but the newfound distance between you might as well be kilometers apart.

"Does this mean that you're still a virgin?"

It was another dumb question for him to ask, but you were just glad that he choose to be informed rather than letting his own prejudice make up his mind for him.

"Technically, maybe? However the things I've done with women....I think it would be very misleading to classify me as a virgin."

"Oh."

Dominik's cheeks grew red.

"Yeah." You smiled.

The two of you eventually left the bathroom, returning to a party you were no longer in the mood to join, that is, until you felt a tap on your shoulder.

"Cassie?"

"I knew I recognized that sexy ass walk of yours."

You were stunned and a little bit embarrassed. Cassie was your latest hook up, latest meaning you were on and off during your freshman year at university. At some point the two of you even lived together. However you decided to break things off with her due to your dropping grades, eventually moving in with Tara who was also studying to become a nurse. You and Cassie however, never failed to keep in touch, she was simply the coolest person that you knew, with her many piercings and unapologetic 'can do' attitude. Not to mention her banging body.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" She said, peering over your shoulder towards Dominik.

"Oh, yes. Um...Cassie this is Dominik, Dominik this is Cassie my...."

"Booty call" She grinned and stretched out a hand for Dominik to shake. He did so reluctantly. "She hates it when I tell people that."

You really did, especially after seeing the crumbling expression on Dominik's face.

"Where have you been Chiquita? I've been begging you to go out with me forever, but you're always so busy studying. I guess only a special person can drag you along to a party like this?"

Heat rose to your face. Dominik looked uncomfortable too, especially since the two of you almost had sex in the bathroom minutes ago.

"We're actually out for a beer run." You explained.

"Really? Who's dorm are you getting wasted in and why was I not invited?"

"Um, it's actually Tara's friend..."

"Tara?" Cassie smiled, a mocking smile. "Let me guess, her 'friend' is a guy? Asian perhaps?"

"Jupp." You chuckled. Cassie had gotten to known Tara well through you, however the two had a slight beef after Cassie called Tara out for having a fetish for Asien men. Tara obviously denied this, either way, their relationship was strained.

"Anyway, if you guys are sticking around for a bit, how about some shots?"

"Actually we we're...."

"Szobo!"

Like a psychic, Dominik's friend appeared with a tray of shots. "Take two." He encouraged.

"I'm good Ibou, thanks man."

"Come on Szobo, I thought you came to party, no?"

Dominik looked to you, his expression hard to read. Perhaps he wanted to leave, just like you?

"I'm down for a shot." Cassie grabbed two glasses from the tray, handing one over to you before you could protest. And just like that the night became a blur again.

Dominik withdrew to the living room, talking vividly with his friend as they sat on the couch. Or it was more Dominik's friend who did the talking, since Dominik's eyes were set on the coffe table before him, occasionally lifting his gaze to look at you from across the room. You stood with Cassie, catching up on what's been going on in your lives, however it was hard to be interested in anything she said when your heart was beating so profoundly for somone else.

"Dominik?"

"Yes?"

You approched him. It was well passed midnight, and it was safe to say that your beer run had not been a success. However, "....I don't want this night between us to end."

"Me neither." He admitted.

You smiled. "Cassie doesn't live far from here, please come with us."

Dominik looked to Cassie who was still enjoying herself on the dance floor, vibing to the music.

"She's really not that bad, I swear."

He looked to you, eyebrows furrowed. "I never said she was?"

"No, but I see the way you look at her, as if...."

"As if she's gotten to know you better than I have? It's called jealousy Y/N, look it up."

"W...what?"

He was grinning, but you were unsure weather he was serious or not.

"Y...You're jealous, of Cassie?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Apparently she can offer you more than I can do."

"Which is?"

"Well for starters, I bet she gives better head than me, since two women can't...."

"You're such a dickhead." You sighed. Dominik laughed as you hit him in the arm. "A real fucking dickhead."

"Bet you love it though."

"Trust me, I don't."

That was a lie, your heart was beating faster than normal, and the spark that you thought had faded when you told Dominik about your sexuality, returned.

"Are you guys ready to go?" Cassie asked, finally done for the night.

You looked to Dominik and he nodded. As you said goodbye to his friend, leaving his house, Dominik draped an arm over shoulder, pulling you close to whisper in your ear. "Just know that I'm willing to step up my game for you."

"What game?" You chuckled, his words tickling your ear.

The question answered itself as Dominik look at you, tounge swiping slowly across his bottom lip, indicating that tonight would be one you'd have a hard time forgetting.

[filmbyjy]

my brother’s best friend

PAIRING: enhypen x fem!reader

SUMMARY: various brother's best friend scenarios!

WARNINGS: a little mention of bullying here and there. some of these i am tempted to make them into a full fic but i unfortunately do not have enough time to do so :( maybe i might make it see first though! oh and ni-ki's part isn't heavily influenced with the brother's best friend troupe. i kinda went off the radar for his part. a little angst on jake's part but don't worry it isn't bad.

NOTE: ehem the reason why jay and jungwon’s fonts are different is bc I have a font called ‘CatLove’ and so I thought it was appropriate to use it. also no your brother isn’t any of the enhypen members….just some dude. unless you actually have an older brother than sure. imagine him(?)

WORD COUNT(total): 6K words

LEE HEESEUNG

school. you never liked it but you were forced to learn. not a single motivation could run through your veins to even get you to look forward to another school day but you still had to go.

there were these hotties of the school who so happens to be in your brother's football (or soccer) team. not even they could catch your eyes.

"i'm home!!" you called out the moment you entered home.

you walked to the living room, only to be greeted by 8 boys including your brother. you stood there shocked, a little flustered.

"welcome home, little sis. sorry, forgot to mention my friends are coming over. uhh, you can just ignore them. they'll just be in here in the living room with me." your brother explains.

you nod.

"mom said to buy dinner since her and dad are out for a trip. i ordered pizza. you can come out once the food is here."

"sure." you say.

your eyes met with one of the boys. his sharp nose, adorable doe eyes and pinkish lips. he was cute but this was your brother's best friend. you were sure there was no way you would have a chance with him.

you met the mysterious boy quite a few times and found out his name was lee heeseung. he was the same age as your brother. he played midfielder in the team, whatever that meant. you also found out he was extremely flirty. anytime, you were alone with heeseung, he'd start flirting with you for no reason.

"you know (name), i don't understand how someone as pretty as you could be single." heeseung says.

this was one of the many times he flirted with you. well, it most definitely wouldn't be the last.

"come to my game." heeseung says as he leans against the lockers next to yours. you closed the your locker.

"look, heeseung. i'm flattered but i can't go to your game when my brother is in the same team as you."

"your brother would think you'd supporting him."

"impossible. he knows i don't care about football."

heeseung sighs, "then. go for me."

"heeseung."

"i have something to tell you after the game." he hands you his jersey. "so, root for us? root for me?"

he certainly wanted you to come and as much as you were worried about your brother. you knew what your heart truly wanted.

"i'll go."

heeseung smiles, "great. see you!" you felt him pecking your cheek before running off to practice. you touched your cheek, feeling it warm up.

fast foward to game time, you had awkwardly walked over to the stands in heeseung's jersey. the problem was...his fangirls were gasping and gossiping at how you were wearing his jersey.

'is that heeseung's girlfriend?'

'i heard that's (brother name)'s sister.'

'omg that's soooo unfair. she's got the upperhand by being the captain's sister.'

yeah that's what they basically said. you settled down and the game starts. at one point during their break, heeseung spots you and smiles. your heart races. you waved at him and he waves back. your brother trails his eyes to where heeseung was looking at and he was shocked to see you.

"dude, are you and my sister-"

"not yet, captain. just hoping you'd allow me."

"ooo heeseung hyung has a crush on captain's sister." jake teases. your brother sighs.

"fine but don't hurt her and focus on the game first. we need to win this. we're loosing by 1."

"yes, captain."

game starts again after half-time and blah blah, they won. yay!

once it was done, heeseung does not care. he quite literally runs like a mad man and goes up to you. before you could even utter a word, the boy pulls you into a kiss. he hears gasps and cheers surrounding the both of you. heeseung pulls away with a little hesitation, he didn't want it to end but he knew your brother was watching so he umm stopped himself.

"i like you." he breathes out. you smiled and wrapped your arms around him.

"i like you too, lee heeseung." was what you said before you kissed him again.

PARK JONGSEONG

park jongseong, the epitome of an extremely hot boy. every girl in your grade loved him. however...

"park jongseong got into a fight again."

yeah...he gets into trouble a lot.

"not surprised. was he with his group once again?"

that same group happens to also include your twin brother. you never understood how and when he decided to mix with that type of crowd. unfortunately, he did and now he was just like jongseong.

you could smell the smoke from his cigarettes coming from his bedroom. you hated it and it made you nauseous.

"(brother name), could you please stop smoking? it's making me dizzy." you knocked heavily on his bedroom door. when the door flies open, your brother had his cigarette in between his fingers. he rolls his eyes.

"suck it up. it's just smoke." your eyes trailed into his bedroom. there sat park jongseong, sim jaeyun, lee heeseung and park sunghoon on the ground with cards in their hands. it seems like they were in middle of poker.

you sighed, "just. please open the window or balcony door wider. you got the bedroom with a balcony. can't you make use of that?"

"the cards would fly. we were in the middle of a good game."

"you are the pain of my existence."

"if i don't exist, you don't too (name)."

"if you don't exist, i could exist. i was born 2 fucking minutes earlier than you. i could've been an only child if mom's egg didn't fucking split."

you could hear his friends gasping. he rolls his eyes like a spoiled child.

"get out of my face."

"gladly. maybe you should learn how to make a come back before trying to use anything on me." you say. your brother groans and slams his bedroom door shut.

it's say to least, you've officially captured park jongseong's attention. he was attracted by you. he loved the way you put your brother in place. he also loved how you looked when you were getting all snappy with your brother. you must've forgotten that you were in your very skimpy pyjama shorts. in other words, jay was just an extremely horny teen.

the moment you shut your locker door, you noticed jay was leaning on the lockers beside yours. you ignored him and he starts chasing after you. he stands directly in front of you to prevent you from moving.

"you, me. date." jay says. you rolled your eyes.

"sorry, you may be the quote on quote 'hottest guy' in school but i'm not falling for your little game."

"what? game?" jay asks confused.

"do you guys not fuck with girls?"

"no? look we may be causing trouble but i don't go around sleeping with girls."

"well, too bad park jongseong. i simply do not have feelings for you." you tried to walk away but jay holds out his arm to not let you free.

"then, how about i court you? like umm, i try to make you fall for me."

you snickered, "you can try."

"really? okay, then. i'll do it."

"yeah, good luck with that. my brother might just allow you to do so." you sarcastically say.

surprisingly, jay does try to court you. he attempts to give you gifts, do something sweet for you. however, he does still get into a lot of trouble. you caught him once in a fight. his eyes softened just as noticed you. he was still gripping on the guy's shirt.

"dude, punch him?" your brother says. jay lets go of the guy's shirt once he spots you leaving. he chases after you. your brother yelling out for him to finish the job.

"what the fuck? he just left like that? for what? my sister?" your brother groans.

heeseung pats your brother's shoulder, "he is love with her. you know that, you'd do anything for someone you love."

"well he might turn soft because of her. i brought him up and made him who he is now. all because of my sister, he turns into some sick lover boy?"

"dude, let it go. let him be in love with your sister. it's not like he wouldn't continue being our friend. even if he changes for her, he is still jay. our friend." jake says. your brother rolls his eyes.

"if you hate it and want to unfriend jay. unfriend us too. we come as a package. we might actually leave to be friends with your sister instead." sunghoon says.

"fine. fine." your brother waves them off.

back to you. jay grabs your wrist and spins you around.

"(name)."

"you were fighting again. i thought i told you, i hate whenever you or my brother fights."

"i'm sorry."

you noticed the cuts and bruises on his knuckles. you tugged him and led him to the classroom. you grabbed the emergency med kit and started treating him.

"(name)." jay says. you sighed.

"it's been 2 months since you started courting me. you really haven't given up."

"my feelings for you are still very much there. i can't stop myself."

you looked up at him once you were done, "then don't stop."

he tilts his head, "what do you mean."

"i've caught feelings for you." you say.

and yes, jay very much does pull you into a kiss.

SIM JAEYUN

you swore your heart dropped the moment you heard your brother was friends with sim jaeyun.

like...your crush, sim jaeyun. the cute boy next door and your classmate? yeah, your older brother was friends with him. not only was he friends with sim jaeyun, he was also friends with the other 6 well-known boys.

your brother had actually been friends with lee heeseung since the start of the year because they were classmates but to think he met heeseung's friend group that included your crush? it was just nerve-wrecking.

the second time your heart dropped was when you overheard your brother on discord chatting with his friends.

"hey, jaeyun. how's that progress with the girl you like?" your brother asks. you heard the boys teasing jake.

"i just asked her out today." you heard jake say. you were clearly not the girl he was talking about because he never asked you out. which meant...he had someone else he liked. you felt...heartbroken.

you simply left after listening in and ran to your room and shut the door. now, remember when i said he was your neighbour? well, your room and his room were adjacent which meant you could see his window and he could see yours.

jake heard your bedroom room shut both from the discord call and in real life. he lifts his head up to see you crying. his eyes widened.

"hey, i don't want to pry into your family affairs but i know how protective you are of (name) but umm, she's crying." jake says.

"oh. i'll check up on her. give me like 5 minutes and i'll be back. you guys can continue playing. thanks for telling, jaeyun." your brother goes to check up on you. jake could see how you opened to door and noticed how your brother talked a little before pulling you into a hug.

jake frowns. maybe he should've gone over to comfort you instead of telling your brother.

the next day, you went to school and jake comes up to you.

"hey, umm. are you okay? i saw your brother comforting you." you hummed barely answering him.

jake was confused. usually you'd answer him. he just ignores it and simply reasoned that maybe you just didn't feel too okay still. after school, the boys were invited to your house since your brother wanted to hang out with them.

"hey, (name)!" sunghoon says when notices you coming out from your room. you gave him a small sad smile and left for the kitchen. sunghoon pouts. "what happened to her?"

"you guys know she had a crush right?"

"yeah. she used to always happily describe him and talk about him a lot. it was cute, it makes me wish i was her crush!" sunoo says.

"well, she found out her crush liked someone else so she's just heartbroken."

"what? that guy sucks. he doesn't understand how lucky he is to have (name) crushing on him!" sunghoon says.

"well, we shouldn't bring this up anymore. let her heal. i'll try my best to make her happy." your brother says. they nodded.

"(brother name), i'm gonna run to the convenience store. we ran out of snacks." you peaked your head to living room. your brother nods. you went to buy your snacks.

it was a lie though. there were still snacks in the pantry, you wanted to get out of the house since jake was there. it was suffocating for you to be in the same room as him. you did go to the park near your home for some fresh air. there was a playground there with a swing set. you sat there.

"i should've known that he wouldn't like me back. i was an idiot."

"i need to find a way to avoid him. right, how do i avoid jake." you huffed kicking the ground beneath you.

you heard someone settling on the swing next to you.

"so you were trying to avoid me." you realised who it was. you lift your head up to notice it was jake.

"what? i wasn't avoiding you."

"cut the crap. why were you avoiding me?"

"i wasn't."

"alright then. why were you planning to avoid me?"

you looked away from jake, already feeling tears stinging at your eyes. you heard the swing rustle and you felt him kneeling in front of you. you sniffled once a tear falls. jake grabs your hand.

"are you sad because your crush doesn't like you back?" you nod at his words.

"do you want me to beat him up?"

"how could you?"

"hmm?"

"how could you punch yourself?" you looked up at him.

"you like me?" jake mutters.

"for so fucking long but now i have to give that up because you love someone else. someone who isn't me. which means i have to sacrifice my feelings for you to be happy."

"how did you know i like someone?"

"you want to know how? i overheard that discord call. my brother asked how your progress with your crush went and you said you asked her out. i only assumed she accepted you."

"i only said that because i have to lie to your brother about me having feelings for you."

"you have f-feelings for me?"

"for so long, my love."

PARK SUNGHOON

your older brother was an ice skater. which meant you've been supporting him on his competitions ever since you were young. it was rare for there to be male ice skaters but that didn't mean your brother was the only one.

at a young age, you were acquainted with someone of your age. simply because well your brother knew him as well.

"(name). this is sunghoon, my best friend here in the academy. we also go to the same school! oh and he is the same age as you." your brother says.

when your eyes met with the boy, you swore you've fell in love at first sight. okay maybe at the age of 10, you were just in awe by him and how cute he looked. after all, you were still young and didn't really understand the concept of falling in love.

however, you knew by the age of 15. you were definitely crushing on park sunghoon.

you were now 20. sunghoon has gone to college so it was rare of you to really see him since he was focusing on his education more than his ice skating career. this meant, he wasn't around at all. you missed his little shy and cute smile.

"(name), i'm back!" your brother calls out. you gasp and gave him a big hug. it was finally winter break and your brother had came back from college. you too had just came back about a day earlier than your brother.

"how have you been holding with your lectures? are the modules hard?" your brother asks endearingly. you laughed.

"hey, i'm the 15 year old girl anymore. i'm already 20."

"well, of course but college is hard. as your brother, i must know so that i can cheer you up or possibly give you words of encouragement."

"you're the best (brother name)." you hugged him.

and then, you hear the door knock. your brother goes to open it. that's when you realise, it was sunghoon and well a few other boys you didn't know.

"hey! it's been so long!" your brother hugs sunghoon before hugging the other boys.

the other boys stared at you like you were some foreign object.

"oh right, boys. this is (name). my little sister. (name), that is heeseung, jake, sunoo, ni-ki, jay and jungwon."

you shyly waved at them.

"dude, i didn't know your sister was hot-" jake gets smacked by jay. sunghoon glares at the boy. your brother laughs.

"sorry about jake, he is a bit...on the party animal side. he also umm hasn't well how do i say..."

"gotten pussy." ni-ki blatantly says. sunoo smacks the younger male.

"yah! nishimura, don't just blurt things like that!"

what the boys didn't expect was for you to just laugh. it seems like you quite fit them and they loved that about you. you were as chill as your older brother.

coincidentally later on, the rest of the boys went out to buy something. which left you and sunghoon alone in the house.

"it's been a while." sunghoon says. you were kinda shocked to hear him start the conversation since he usually didn't start it.

"look at you, i see you've grown quite a bit. i guess college has taught you well huh." you teased.

"well kinda. jay and jake are usually the ones who push my introvert limits." sunghoon says. you nod.

"that's great that you're stepping out of your comfort zone. i'm gonna assume...you went to college parties?"

"one or two."

"wow, must be fun. i usually just get buried under piles of books to study." you pout. "but i'd rather get my diploma first than party."

"so you've never been to a party?" sunghoon asks.

"not at all. though my college friends do kinda force me to go but i just shrug them off and tell them i have some studying to do."

sunghoon hums, "honestly, partying was never my thing. i simply just follow jay and jake. it's quite boring really. especially with all those college girls trying to initiate something."

your heart clenches. right. there was a possibility sunghoon might have a college girlfriend while you're out here nerding your life away behind textbooks and papers.

"i see. well, i guess you're really popular with the ladies if they keep coming up to you." you nudged him. he chuckles.

"yeah but i don't really like any of them. besides..." he faces you and whispers, "they aren't you."

you swore your heart drops when you heard those words.

"what?"

"i said...they aren't you. i like you (name)."

"sunghoon." he reaches his hand out to cup your cheek.

"i really really like you."

you were melting at his words, "i like you too."

his eyes flicker down to your lips and it's like you could tell, he was asking for consent in kissing you. with one simple nod, he leans in and your lips touched his.

just then the door swings opens and reveals the boys. to which, sunoo squeals and your brother gasping. you have never pulled away so fast in your life. sunghoon blushes as he gets caught.

"I KNEW IT, YOU TWO HAVE SOME CRUSHING ON EACH OTHER!" your brother yells. guess, you'd have to explain everything to him.

KIM SUNOO

you and your twin brother have always had a close relationship. he had always made sure you'd never spilt any tears. until he was sick one day and couldn't come to primary school (or middle school).

you were left alone and so you spent your day quietly eating. however, you were suddenly pushed to the ground by some boy. he had never earned the courage to bully you because your brother was around.

"you! your brother is so annoying! he tries too hard to please the teacher!" the boy yells. you whimper and cower in fear. already shaking at the thought of being hit once again.

but before the boy could even lay a finger on you, you heard someone yell.

"yah! you! stop bullying girls! you jealous freak show! i already reported this to the teacher who makes her rounds here!"

you heard footsteps running as fast as possible and light footsteps coming up to you.

"hey, are you okay? do you want to visit the nurse's office?" you looked up. the boy holds out his hand, "my name is sunwoo but uhh usually people write my name a little funny so you can use sunoo instead if it's easier!"

from then on, you became friends with the boy. even your brother became friends with him. all because he was thankful for sunoo.

fast forward to years later, on your coming of age celebration...

"yah yah! you need to calm down on the alcohol young lady!" your brother pats your back. you smiled at him.

"(brother name), you should reallyyyy try this. it gets you all goofy and feeling warm!"

"that's because you drank 2 bottles! oh my god, this wasn't supposed to happen." your brother huffs. "sunoo, could you please bring my sister back into her room? i need to clean this place up. our parents are coming home tomorrow!"

"of course." sunoo helps to pull you up. he carefully brings you over to your bed. you giggled.

"sunooooo, you're sooooo pretty." you say. sunoo snickers.

"thank you but you're way prettier, angel."

"naurrr, you're so pretty and it's unfair. i wish i had a boyfriend as pretty as you."

"you've been hanging out with jake hyung too much." he pats your head, "and you can have a boyfriend as pretty as me, angel."

"but they won't be you!"

he hums, "you're right. they aren't me." he tries to tuck you into bed.

"babyyyyy. i don't want to sleep~" you whined. sunoo blushes.

"(name). we aren't dating, you shouldn't call me that." sunoo pats your head.

"we aren't dating?" you start to tear up and sunoo panics.

"hey, wait wait. don't cry. i just...don't want to confess to you when you're drunk. besides, this isn't a very romantic way for you to even find out i like you."

"i am not drunk!"

"sure you aren't"

"i am not!"

"alright then. if you aren't drunk, will you remember this tomorrow morning?"

"yes-" you felt sunoo's lips against yours.

did you remember it the next morning? yes. you did. was sunoo your boyfriend now? yup.

YANG JUNGWON

you had recently joined the photography club. why did you do so? well, you see you loved photography and the art of it. you were always so intrigued by the process and how they really truly captured the moment.

your older brother was in the rugby club (or american football) he was quite the star player. of course, he wasn't the only one. the whole team was. however, one particular boy had caught your eye. he was different. he didn't exactly look like he would be terrifying or even really play rugby but he proved everyone wrong when he became the captain of the team.

yang jungwon, that was his name.

one day, you were assigned to permanently become the team's photographer.

"oh look, it's you." your brother says as soon as you walked onto the grass field. you rolled your eyes.

"ah really, just when i didn't want to see your cocky face."

"funny when we both have the same parents." your brother comments.

the team simply looks between the both of you, confused. the coach of the team introduces you.

"last thing, you can probably guess. our star player here and our photographer are siblings."

"i am the big brother and she's the little sister." your brother proudly admits.

"yeah, as if that isn't obvious. your teammates aren't stupid, (brother name)."

your brother rolls his eyes. the coach laughs.

"alright alright. seems like there will be something exciting to listen to every session." your brother huffs. his teammates laughing and patting his back. "how about i show you around the place first before you start your first work for our team, (name)?"

"oh thank you."

what you fail to notice was how jungwon was staring at you.

"yo, skipper. you good there? our photographer caught your eye?" jake slings his arm around jungwon. jungwon shakes his head.

the skipper: it means captain of rugby or American football (I searched on the internet okay. google better not make a fool out of me😀)

"she's just our photographer, she's here for work so there should be nothing between any of us and her. you can be her friend but our main priority is to win the championship. no distractions."

"damn, didn't take you for being an anti-romantic. you should've just said you don't like her and end it there." jake says.

fast forward to possibly a few weeks later, you've taken a ton of photos of the boys during their trainings and competitions. it was also used in your school's website and newsletter. your name was credited just below the picture and you were happy with what you've achieved.

trainings had just ended and it started raining heavily. unfortunate for you but your brother had plans with his cheerleader girlfriend so you didn't have any way home and well you didn't have any umbrella with you. you quietly wait for the rain to become lighter. you watched the skies, it was really weirdly pretty. you took out your camera and snapped a few photos.

"isn't it just rain, why are you taking photos of it." a voice says. you get get startled before quickly realising it was jungwon. his hair was still a little wet from showering.

"oh, i guess but i think it's a little pretty. the clouds, the pouring rain. take it like a sad photo since rain is usually associated with sadness." you say. "ah, sorry. i was blabbering some nonsense wasn't i?”

jungwon shakes his head, "it's just something you're passionate about. it's alright to talk about it."

"well, i overheard you say that it's kinda stupid and lame-" you gasp and cover your mouth. "sorry." you looked away. jungwon nervously bites his lips.

"i don't think it's stupid."

"oh." you couldn't face the boy.

"look i'm sorry if you overheard that. i just never really understood why you like photography when it's just taking pictures. it's kinda boring really."

"it's okay. not everyone can like photography. this is something i've done dearly since this is only thing that shows i am my own person. rather than me being known as (brother name)'s little sister."

it was silent between the both of you.

"want me to walk you home?" jungwon asks. you looked up at him.

"no it's okay. i'll just wait until it stops raining." jungwon pulls out his umbrella and grabs your camera bag.

"come on." he says.

your heart races. that was just one encounter with jungwon, there was many more that happened after. it seems like you had been spending more time with him. sometimes he even poses for the pictures that you were taking. you jokingly scold him since it was supposed to be a natural photo of them doing their own things during training.

"let me see the photo, miss photographer." jungwon steps forward. you giggled and try to hide the camera from him.

"nooo, it's not for you to see!"

"you were taking photos of me secretly, how am i supposed to not want to see them!"

"they were taken in secret for a reason, captain!" jungwon smirks.

"in that case." he tickles you. you laughed and tried to get away from him.

"yo, cap! training is starting soon. sorry to cut your cute moment with our photographer or should i say girlfriend~~" sunoo yells. jungwon glares at sunoo.

"can you guys stop calling (name), jungwon's girlfriend? it makes me have goosebumps and not in a good way. it's disgusting to think my friend and my sister are dating."

jungwon smirks, "really, hyung? that's an interesting fact to learn about because well...you see...although she's not my girlfriend yet." jungwon lifts you from the ground and kisses you.

the whole team was cheering and yelling.

"oh my god, you go captain!!!"

NISHIMURA RIKI

dancing has always yours and your brother's dream. the both of you had always hold classes and became choreographers. it just so happens that after so long, your brother was finally able to chase his dreams. he became a trainee and was now a temporary backup dancer for HYBE.

though you didn't continue to follow your dreams, you had still were managing dance classes here and there. eventually, you yourself became a quite known choreographer. your brother made his debut shortly after in 2022. he was a backup for enhypen a few times so he became friends with the boys. he was closest with the jungwon since they were the same age.

"look at you. you've gone from being a backup dancer of ENHYPEN to an actual idol."

"hard work pays off." your brother smirks. you smiled and pat his back. you heard a knock at the dressing room door. a few heads popped in and that's when you realise, it was the ENHYPEN members.

"congrats on your debut!!" jungwon hugs your brother.

"thank you! it's been so long!"

"who is this? is she your-"

"sister. she's my little sister." you bowed.

"hello, i am (name)." you heard sunoo gasp.

"isn't she that choreographer that became really famous because she's only 17??"

you shyly smiled, "that's me."

"OOO i really loved the choreo you did to 'kill bill' by SZA! it was really a work of art!!" sunoo excitedly says. you thanked him.

"wait how did you say she was?" heeseung asks.

"17. she's 17."

you noticed a few smirks, "ni-ki san~" jake says.

ni-ki deadpans, "hyung, can you not."

you couldn't lie. you did admire ni-ki as an artist. he was a talented boy and he did kinda follow the same dreams as you. to see him this up close, you didn't expect for him to be so good looking and tall. it made your heart jump a little.

"umm, i do admire your dance style and dance a lot. you're a really great dancer." you say.

"ooo ni-ki got a compliment~~"

ni-ki blushes. he shoves jake. your brother laughs.

"okay, that's enough. thank you for coming today. i'm sure you guys are extremely busy. i have a debut stage to record soon."

"are you kicking us out (brother name)?"

"i am not. it's just...the staff are kinda rushing me and my members are quite literally staring at you guys because they need to change."

"oh my god, why didn't you tell me. this isn't professional of you, you're holding up your members from changing!"

"well we had a longer time but the staff cut it short so they need to cha-"

"save it. i'll get going. enjoy your time and don't forget to eat."

"yes, (name). i will do so. you're acting like a big sister."

"well, you were never one to take care of yourself and you overwork a lot sooo, i have to take care of you."

"such a sweet little sister." your brother ruffles your hair. he goes to look at the ENHYPEN members.

"thank you guys for coming once again."

"any time. you were always a hardworking guy and you encouraged us a lot so it's only right we come to visit you." jay says.

your phone rings, "oh, alright i'll be over soon." you end the call.

"i have to go now. classes are starting a little early today. don't forget to call me, (brother name)."

"yes (name). enjoy your time teaching the class. my little choreographer." you smiled.

after that, you never really see enhypen again. that is until, they came to your classes. you heard a knock.

"yes-" you gasp. "surprise seeing you guys today. are you the students?"

"yup, you will be our teacher for today."

"well i did get a notified from HYBE that i will be choreographing your side song so...it's great to see you guys again."

"so what have you planned for us?"

"it's still being polished but i can show you guys what i have so far."

"that would be great."

you played their song and showed what you had choreographed for it. the boys were in awe. they were so surprised that you choreographed this all by yourself.

"that's about it."

"i really don't get why companies don't come up to you and ask if you want to be a choreographer for their company." sunghoon says.

"they would have to pay top money for me." you smirked.

"that's right. taught you soooo well." jake says.

"you met her once jake. how would raise her?" jay says.

"the same way i raised ni-ki!"

so for the past few weeks of polishing and teaching the boys the choreography, it was finally able to be shown to the public. you clapped once they all finished it and fell to the ground.

"good job, boys." the staff clapped along with you. "here enjoy some drinks i bought for you while you guys were practicing."

the boys happily took the drinks. ni-ki was the last one to grab his drink, his hands linger on yours for a little longer. he winks at you before going over to sit with the boys.

now it was no surprise there was this weird tension between you and ni-ki but it was also partly because well...the both of you were secretly dating. he confessed last week and now you've been dating the boy for about 10 days now. you chose to keep it a secret because well for one, the boys would tease ni-ki and two, your brother was quick to know because jungwon and him were close.

"so did we do well?" jake asks. you giggled and nod.

"yes, you did extremely well. you executed my choreography way better than i did."

"i don't think we can do that, (name). you were the blueprint and we just added our own style." heeseung says.

"that's true which means you made it even better."

ni-ki smiles, he watches you intently. he wanted to sit next to you but sunghoon and jay were already sitting next to you.

"ni-ki, what do you have to say? we did great right?"

"yeah, we did." you smiled at his words.

"woah, what's with this staring at each other. ni-ki, (name). is there something going on between you two? something we should know of?" jungwon says. you shook your head.

"it's nothing. just an inside joke me and ni-ki have. you wouldn't understand."

"damn. this is a dancer thing isn't it! that's unfair, i wanna know about it too!" jake huffs.

the day ends quickly, enhypen went back to their dorms and you went home. you texted ni-ki making sure that it was okay to facetime him. once he says it was fine, you called him. the boy appears on the screen. he was laying in his bed.

"hi." he says. you chuckled.

"hey, boyfriend."

"never going to get used to hearing you say that."

"what do you mean, you were the one who confessed. why are you shy about me calling you boyfriend? we are dating." you say.

"YOU SAID WHAT?" you heard sunoo yell. your boyfriend gasps. "JUNGWON CALL (NAME)'S BROTHER NOW. OUR YOUNGEST AND HIS SISTER ARE DATING."

"ALREADY CALLING HIM AS WE SPEAK!" jungwon yells. ni-ki facepalms.

"i didn't know they were listening in i swear."

"it's okay. it's surprise we even managed to hide this for 10 days."

"you're right." ni-ki shyly smiles. "i umm love you by the way."

"love you too."

"YAH YANG JUNGWON, THE KIDS JUST SAID I LOVE YOU TO EACH OTHER! THIS GOING WAY TOO FAST!" sunoo yells.

yup, this was going to be fun.

[pampanope]

Hello, how are you doing? I’ve come with more questions >:3

1. Since cannonly Graves’ died in MW2, how is he alive? Did some cute girl/boy/enby necromance him or something? Or was it something more reasonable and realistic. Hell, was he even in the area when he was supposedly killed.

2. Is MW3 cannon in the ShadowDadlderverse? I hear it’s really really bad and not many or everyone considers it to be not cannon. This question goes hand in hand with the former

3. How did Graves’ feel when he realized that his dad wasn’t a hero? Did his finding out happen to coincide with Bell? Or is Graves still blind to what Addler did to Bell?

4. Since the Shadows are notably close in their verse, they most likely have game night. What games and movies do they play while together? What games and movies are banned?

5. Since I cannot go five questions without asking about fantasy and dnd, what would Graves character sheet look like? Class, race, backstory, spells, weapons, etc.

6. why is last name Graves? Is it his mother’s last name? Does like 7-11 call him Phillip A. Grave when pissed or something?(i definitely need to dig into the gas station man)

7. What is relationship with Laswell? And maybe if you’re feeling extra extra dangerous, maybe say what you picture Laswell’s wife to look like.

8. Also how old do you think Graves is? He can easily be seen as like 25-41. Or how old you think he is in your Au?

I know I am definitely asking some pretty deepish questions when it comes to your Au, but I like to learn. I especially like to learn about characters. And since your interpretation of Graves’ is currently scratching the itch I am internally inclined to ask these questions.

Stay safe!

Okaay here i gooo

1. I rly believe that tank was an unmanned vehicle that Graves controlled remotely while Soap ran around frantically XD hurling insults and a Shadow thumping him on the shoulder when he got carried away.

2. The only canon a peel off of mw3 and slap onto the Shadowdadler verse is that Makky is at large and Graves flew off into the sunset|

3. It depends on how he found out. If Graves knew what his father did at an early age, it’s be less of a shock. If Adler was honest about why a masked man was lurking somewhere nearby, told his son that he hurt one person for the sake of millions, it’d be better than if he tried to hide his actions. It wouldn’t surprise me if adult Graves grew to have a similar mentality as his father.

4. Game night’s full of multiplayer games (snash bros, mario party, MvC, etc). There’s a DnD session off to a corner. Ruined jenga towers litter the floor. A circle if Shadows play charades. Monopoly is DEFINITELY banned, too many fights break out. Any high shakes gambling on card games is also prohibited (there Shadows who are talented at card counting and sleight of hand). Any and all genres of movies are watches, with the exception of the Star Wars sequels. Those are unanimously banned.

5. I’d die if Graves was still the leader of a mercenary group but classed as a bard XD high charisma definitely. Still human. Idk enough about DnD as a whole to say what spells he’s gonna use but I like ghe idea of him boosting his part members that do the fighting

6. Ok so in one of my Dadler comics, Adler fights off and kills enemy agents that wanna target him and lil Phillip. He buries them in their backyard. Phillip learns one day that there are dead bodies there. Learns that they had to die for him to keep living. He’s looking at graves. The memory would stick with him. Lol 7-11 calls Graves Sir when the commanders being stubborn ir reckless 🤣 (funny, the Lt. can be just as stubborn and reckless)

7. Oh! I like her and the role she plays. I liked the sneaky sneaky part she had~ Her wife? I picture her a bit taller than Laswell. She’d be a brunette, soft featured, a bit tanned, down to earth and honest about her thoughts and feelings, something Laswell appreciates as someone used to subterfuge.

8. I got Graves at a solid 40. A tiny bit seasoned to be out in the field, but still young enough to be effective. He ages gracefully 🥰 hehehe

[yncel]

ENTRY 01

Sigh, I don't even know where to begin with this one.. here goes nothing.

So as it turns out, whenever you feel as though life can't get any worse.. I promise you, it surely can and will. If there's anything that I've learnt in the past week, it would be that my life has just thrown another curveball at me and now not only am I worn out, heartbroken and exhausted, I am also.. riddled with fear. And this journal is to document what I'm going through lest something bad happens to me.

Alot has happened in the past month. I gathered up the courage to FINALLY leave hoon Sunghoon, my now ex-boyfriend, and our incredibly toxic relationship after I found explicit text messages he'd send to his co-worker. I didn't confront him about it because I knew he'd somehow find a way to pin the blame on me and wouldn't let me leave. And so I fled. To another city.

I sighed a breath of relief during the 8 hour drive to Busan, knowing that I wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. I had blocked him everywhere whilst also strictly instructing my friends and family to not tell him about my whereabouts. It finally dawned on me that I had been wasting my time and my youth on this snake of a man.

And so I started integrating back into society, making new friends, going out and having fun. Things he'd never let me do and beat me out of doing. I was finally LIVING... but that didn't last too long. It was just the calm before the storm.

I should've known. I should've known as a person who always had an eye on her at all times, to finally find freedom out of nowhere so easily.. it had to have been a spoof. Like a rabbit who so conveniently finds a carrot tied to a stick.

It started with the roses. Found them leaning on my apartment door when I came back home one evening. Thought they were meant for someone else at first but upon closer inspection, the glistening metal reflecting the hallway light couldn't be mistaken for something else. My promise ring that I had left on his dining table, neatly tucked in between the red.

I knew it was over then and there, the sporadic beating of my heart felt as though it would explode any second. But I don't want to give up, I had just tasted freedom in 4 years and I can't imagine myself going back to that hellhole. Even if I did, who is to say that he will not just kill me?? I've known him for so long, it wouldn't be uncharacteristic of him to hurt me out of his rage. He's already done it so many times, who's to say that this will be any different? And I know this time I've made him more angry than he's ever been in his entire life. And if I'm going to get hurt anyway, I'd rather put up a fight.

I contacted the police and they didn't make anything out of it but needless to say, I wasn't surprised. I asked my friends if they had ratted me out to him and they vehemently denied it. I deleted all of my socials and changed my phone number. I've changed the way I dress and I'm starting to avoid going out unless it's absolutely necessary. I don't know how long I can survive like this, especially since this hasn't deterred sunghoon in the slightest.

I see him everywhere and I just have to pretend that I don't. The car behind me in the drive through. The person standing in the middle of the park lot. The hooded figure that bumped into me in the seven eleven. I sometimes catch a whiff of his scent in the corridors as if he's just been there. He's playing with me like a predatory cat upon a mouse and I'm totally helpless.

The ticking of the clock reminds me of his lack of patience. How long until he stops finding this entertaining and decides to just pounce? It's no longer a matter of "if" but of "when" and when he does, I want you to know that I didn't just dissappear. And I want to make sure that he won't be able to hurt any other person the way he did me.

I've started to count down the days.

[quibbs126]

(Sorry if you already did this)

Could you do a dark choco x caramel arrow fankid? It’s a rare pair but I love it:DDD

(also I love your art)

For all the people who requested this, here you are, this kid is Caramel Fudge Cookie. He was actually a bit up in my requests, but since so many people were asking I thought might as well do him early. I’ve been skipping around a bit

Now, for the name, I know there’s definitely a bunch of things with chocolate and caramel around, I just had to find something that was just called “chocolate caramel”. The original name I was going to go with is something with syrup, since I know both chocolate and caramel can be made into syrup, but I didn’t end up going with that, since he didn’t give me that vibe. Now, what he reminded me of were brownies topped with caramel, along with marshmallows and maybe some graham crackers as well (my family’s made those before, they’re delicious and now I’m hungry). Well the marshmallows and graham crackers make it a s’more, but the chocolate brownies with caramel are called turtle brownies. So, I named him Turtle Fudge Cookie (the “fudge” part isn’t part of the food name, but I didn’t think Turtle Brownie worked as well, so I just put it in instead. Also there is turtle fudge, but I was thinking of the brownies). I was also debating changing it to Caramel Fudge, since I thought the “turtle” part didn’t fit, but after asking my friend she says turtle sounds better, so I’m going with Turtle Fudge

Turtle brownie/turtle fudge:

I really want brownies now

Anyways, on to his design, I think he looks cute, but also I worry he looks too much like a mini Caramel Arrow and not enough like Dark Choco. Maybe it shows more when he gets older. Currently he’s like 8. He also originally had black eyes like her, but I wanted to change it to look more like him. Purple eyes like his grandfather was also an option, but my friend told me the red eyes looked better

So on to him himself, so he’s determined to become a Watcher and is basically starting early, since he lives in the Citadel. He’s always trying to train, he goes around telling people when their shifts change (he knows when they do, he’s not making up times to change), and he’ll spend hours (or at least he’ll try to, he’ll usually end up falling asleep) looking atop the wall for any sort of threat. Thing is, he’s a little kid and basically just looks like a tiny Caramel Arrow, so everyone just finds him adorable. He’s so sincere in his efforts that no one can bring themselves to be annoyed or mad with him.

I gave him a spear just because those are another weapon in the kingdom and I wanted to give him something different from his parents. He does know how to use a bow though, he’s just not the best at it

Oh yeah, another thing I was going to draw as a sketch but forgot to, I had an idea that he might have some weird connection to the Licorice Sea. Like, he can’t help but stare out at it, almost thinking something in there is calling to him. Not sure if I’m keeping that or it just stays an early concept

Another potential plot point is that he comes across Affogato Cookie sneaking into the Citadel, not knowing who he is, only that he’s trespassing. Affogato sees him and immediately thinks “is that a tiny Caramel Arrow??”. Upon asking if he’s related, Affogato learns that this kid is the son of Caramel Arrow Cookie and Dark Choco Cookie, which by extension also makes him Dark Cacao’s grandson. Realizing he has an opportunity for revenge against the people who screwed him over, he kidnaps Turtle Fudge. How successful he is (he escapes with Turtle Fudge, I mean how long before he’s found or even if he’s found) and what that revenge entails I’m not sure. But there is a possible scenario where Turtle Fudge grows up to be a loyal servant to Affogato, either not knowing his parents or thinking they abandoned him, probably due to brainwashing on Affogato’s account. If anyone wants to do anything with this concept, feel free

But yeah, I think that’s about it for Turtle Fudge. I’ll be honest, I feel like I focused more on the Carrow side of him and basically nothing about Dark Choco. I’m half debating whether or not Dark Choco is even there, or if this is an alternate universe where they had the kid before Dark Choco got banished, meaning Turtle Fudge just has his mother. I’d like him to be there, but it feels like how I wrote him Dark Choco either isn’t there or is just in the background

But anyways yeah, hope you like him!

Edit: I just realized the second one asked me what I think of the ship. I mean, I get the ship, but personally I like to see Dark Choco and Caramel Arrow as having a sibling relationship, so it just doesn’t work out for me personally

Also I am just now realizing the second person might have been asking me to draw Dark Choco and Caramel Arrow and not a fankid. Sorry about that, I’ve seen so many of these that if you give me a two characters and ask about a ship I’m probably going to think you’re asking me to make a fankid

[the-monkey-ruler]

Another question, how many times was swk kicked off the journey and why?

Wukong was kicked out of the group first in the White Bone Demon Arc, I would say that this was about a year or so into their journey together, and at this point, they have had only three adventures. The burning of the Abbey, the Yellow Wind Demon, and the Ginseng Fruit Arc. To me, it's important to know which arc has led up to the telling arc so that we can have a better understanding of where people might be with trust.

Wukong can tell White Bone Spirit is a demon right away and while he was going to kill her Sanzang tried to give her the benefit of the doubt as she hasn't actually harmed them in any way. Wukong accused him of just wanting to sleep with her.

So already not off to a good start.

This leads to the three killings and both of them butting heads over who is right and wrong. Is it right for Wukong to kill someone that has yet to harm them only because he knows she is a demon but his journeymates cannot tell or is it right for them to have to wait for a wrong to be committed to retaliate in the first place?

Also, I think that since neither Wujing nor Bajie has seen the Fillet Tighening Spell at this point they were not aware of its effects since they were only away of what it could do in the Ginseng Fruit arc, and even then I don't think Bajie believed it until now, similar to how he didn't really believe Bailong was a dragon under his horse disguise until the Yellow Robe arc when he first spoke.

That isn't to excuse their actions but the main reason I believe that Bajie was trying to get back at Wukong for the perverse uncounted where he was strung up in a tree by Guanyin at the start of the Ginseng Fruit arc and other deities due to Wukong's pushing for him to get married. At least I believe he thought this was a sting-for-a-strong kind of revenge.

Bajie was the one to tell Sanzang that Wukong might be lying for the sake to kill humans which sadly at this point isn't too far out there due to his persistence to kill humans at the Burning of the Abbey. Wukong doesn't kill humans because he has to, he has shown that when he killed those seven bandits that attacked him and Sanzang at the start of the book as well. He kills humans because he believes they deserve to die and he is the one to do it. It is not out of need, he wants to kill them if they get in his way.

Again I think that because of these past actions have clouded Sanzang's judgment to believe Wukong because he is 100% in the right that she was a demon trying to kidnap him. But he has seen Wukong treat humans and demons the same way, and with no help of Bajie, is making choices out of anger rather than logic. Needless to say, there hasn't been a lot of good blood so far, I really think that Sanzang would believe him if Bajie didn't keep making excuses.

This all came to a head when Sanzang really thinks that Wukong isn't going to change his stance on killing people, whether it be his own lack of ability to teach or that Wukong finds human life of little value he sends Wukong away. He doesn't even bother with the spell on the third killing just for him to go.

After that is it the Yellow Robe arc where Wujing is captured, Sanzang gets turned into a tiger and almost hunted to death, Bailong is out of commission and only Bajie is left standing.

And he has to be the one to get Wukong back. Which he does leading to Sanzang being very grateful and they move on to the journey.

From there about seven years pass or so, and they are about 8 or 9 years into the journey when the Six-Eared Macaque Arc begins, so a little over halfway with about 6 or 5 years to go. I think he has used the spell only once when the Hundred-Eyed Demon was pretending to be Sanzang as well and Wukong told him to recite it so he knows which one to kill.

From there it is a little bit more direct why he got banished it's more to do with how he treated both the living and the dead.

I think what people again miss is that when it comes to humans, Wukong isn't facing other demons that can fight with him toe-to-toe in magic. Wukong has so many abilities to subdue that he has don't with other deities and demons, putting them to sleep, making them immovable, tying them up, he can stop humans and scare them off without killing the for the sake of protecting Sanzang. But he wants to kill them because he thinks they deserve to die anyway, which goes against their whole thing about showing mercy.

Instead, Wukong explains how it's actually Sanzang's fault that he has to kill so many humans. That if it wasn't for him and this mission that there would be so many people alive, and who cares about some petty thieves or scum bandits, they would have died anyway so he was just speeding up the process. This is ironic to me because Wukong who was also sent to be executed was giving mercy to have a second chance as well but he wavers in some cases when he thinks others deserve a chance at redemption as well.

From there it is a little bit more direct why he got banished it's more to do with how he treated both the living and the dead.

They were staying at a family's house and they claim that their son has done great evil as a bandit, a bandit that the pilgrims have already met and Wukong killed their leader. When the bandit came home and saw them he wanted to get revenge and kill them in their sleep. His family let the pilgrim get away so that no one would get hurt but they were still chased after.

Wukong makes the choice of killing the rest of the bandits and I think that maybe, perhaps he wouldn't have been banished this time if he didn't go to the trouble of cutting off the head of the family's son and presenting it as a trophy. But Sanzang let his anger get the best of him and sent him away without trying to talk it out.

He goes to Guanyin because he didn't want to face the shame of going home but she tells him to wait until Sanzang has cooled off his anger to see reasons again and rather asked him with his powers why he couldn't have shown mercy to the bandits (like a good teacher does).

I think that is why the Six-Eared Macaque arc shows the real turning point with how not only Wukong behaves but Sanzang as well. Wukong is fighting his inner demons over here but Sanzang has to learn not to let his anger and emotions not to get the best of him. He is too quick to judge and needs to find out more about the whys in how people act rather than taking it at face value.

These are defiantly the worst point for either character as it highlights their worst traits and I hate to think of them as the most common examples whenever people think of Journey to the West when there are nearly 15 other arcs showing how they both change and grow throughout their journey.

There is a lot more to be said with how Sanzang is seen in more of a Confucianism mindset in later interactions to give Wukong more good qualities in comparison as the story of Xuanzang changes more and more throughout time. But also Wukong's representation of both control and freedom and the balance of the two to make a cohesive narrative within the story.

There is so much more that can be said but I think I'll wrap it up here.