#also how many lives does he even have?? i thought he only had 8 since he got revived but the internet says 9

[d0vesong]

Tigerstar II

[readerstories]

When You Touch Me - Wolverine x male reader x Deadpool 1/?

God I'm a sucker for a soulmate au. (AO3) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9)

Warnings/tags: male reader, canon-typical violence, enemies to friends to lovers, eventual smut, slow burn

Wordcount: 2347

Summary: You’ve heard many stories about how people met their soulmates. Everyone crazier than the last, ranging from typical meet cutes, meeting with one of them at death's door, in war, meeting at your soulmate's wedding to another, and everything in between and outside of that. You had just never expected to add yours to the crazy list, meeting yours in a fight, only realizing after trying to kill each other for at least half an hour. And you certainly don’t expect to have another.

Other info: About this au - Soulmates find each other through touch, which establishes a mental link that lets feelings through, and if solid and built up enough over time, simple thoughts/words can also come through. Some bonds are purely platonic, about ⅓ in total. Multiple soulmates are not unheard of, but rare, more common with platonic soulmates. 

Quickly about the reader - mercenary/gunman/thug for hire. Great shot with pretty much any gun, has two knives as backup weapons, has fought with swords before. Looks wise he has hair and is shorter than Wade and Logan, but I try to keep no specific height in mind while writing. Has a few scars scattered over his body, but nothing specific as of yet. Does not want a soulmate, thinks it just leaves people vulnerable. Lives on his own in an apartment he owns and is content with his life.

All you were, really, was hired help.

All you were supposed to do was stand around and look scary with a few other tugs in a warehouse with high shelves stacked with crates, while your employer (a generous word for the drug dealer that hired you) met with another drug dealer.

It had gone tits up the second a man wearing a red and black spandex suit and katanas on his back of all things came crashing through a window.

You had dived for cover, because there are gunshots ringing out in the milliseconds after the glass shatters. You curse, reaching for your gun, with just one single 10 bullet magazine, because your stupid employer had insisted you only needed one when you asked for more. So to have something more you had your adamantium knives strapped to each thigh, hidden enough under your black joggers.

You curse under your breath, cause this is fucking awful. You hear gunshots over and over again, people are dying, wood from shipping crates are splintering, metal is hitting the floor. 

And there’s talking. 

Fucking talking.

“Come one guys, your aim is all off! Did none of you ever train on the neighborhood cats?”

Well, more like yelling. Because even though the warehouse wasn’t empty, it still had an echo. You are used to the loud sounds, it fuels your adrenaline as you peek out from behind the crate you are using as a shield.

The man, you are just going to call him Red for now, is flipping and bouncing between crates, avoiding any big hits. A few bullets graze an arm, but he doesn’t seem to take notice as his own bullets find their marks, bodies dropping around him. He’s nimble and quick about it, taking down guys from both sides with equal gusto, and you find yourself just watching him carefully. He’s almost elegant, light on his feet, and a jab or taunt spewing out of his mouth every few bullets. 

Careful not to alert Red or anyone else about your position, you shift, gun in hand watching him saunter over to your employer, the last man standing. Well, not really, since he’s down on his knees, begging for something incoherent while fat tears and snot roll down his face. 

“Newsflash asshole, I don’t care for your tragic backstory that the writer won’t let you talk about.” Red raises his gun, one last loud bang filling the warehouse before it’s quiet once again.

“Last fucking one, my counting skills once again making me win.” Red claps his hands together, before moving his hands to his hips, looking around the warehouse. “What a fucking mess.” He shakes his head, and you see your opportunity now that he thinks it’s all over.

You move up, pulling the trigger as soon as your gun is aimed right. Red doesn’t even get to turn before six bullets go through his chest, two through his throat, and the last two finding their mark in his skull. You shouldn’t use all your bullets on one target like that, but still you do.  Red drops like a sack of potatoes, and you draw a sigh of relief, lowering your gun as you too look around the warehouse. You’re glad it’s far away from anything else, because it should take at least a few hours before the cops are alerted, and by that time you would be far away from this warehouse that is by now covered in blood, bullet casings, and dead men.

Your earlier relief turns into utter confusion as you hear shuffling, and when you turn back towards where Red’s body is, you see him shake his head where he lays crumpled on the floor, and seconds later he’s on his feet with a groan.

“Okay, good shot whoever that was.” You gape, words slipping out of your mouth without meaning to.

“What the fuck.” Red’s head snaps towards you.

“Oh, there you are.” His voice is light, almost like he’s halfway into song. “I would return the favor, but I’m fresh out of bullets so this will have to do.” He pulls out the katanas strapped to his back. You grab your knives, managing, somehow by the grace of whatever runs this universe, to bring it out just in time to block both katanas that were coming at you in tight formation.

“Oh so you weren’t just happy to see me.” Red jokes, and though you can’t see his face under the mask, you are pretty sure he is grinning. You grunt, because there is no way for your brain to form words as you parry another attack from him, retreating.

You are in no position to attack, so all you do is stop his, and try to escape, backing off. Or rather, you try to, but Red is not letting up, so all you end up doing is walking backwards through the warehouse in a vague path between boxes and shelves as he attacks. 

He manages to get a few slashes here and there to connect, but they are shallow, just enough to draw blood and sting. One on your left arm, two on your right arm, three on your left leg. You wonder if amounts are on purpose. He seems to take it all as encouragement, laughing, keeping up his quick attacks. 

You don’t know you hold out, breathing heavy, arms and hands hurting with how you are clutching and shielding with your knives like your life depends on it. 

Because it 1000% fucking does, that’s why you manage.

Red finally lets up, just enough that you can create some space between the two of you. You don’t dare to actually turn and run, certain he has no moral code of cutting down someone from behind. So you just try to slowly create even more room between the two of you as you watch for his next attack.

“Oh I am having fun!” Red tries to clap, but he just knocks the hilts of his katanas together. “Though we are just a little unevenly matched here.” He sounds like he’s breathing just a little bit harder at least, even though there are no cuts next to the bullet holes riddling his suit. He tilts his head for a moment, then bends down, and then there’s a katana sliding over the floor, bumping into your boot. You look down at it, before looking back up at him.

“Come on, pick it up.” Shifting your knives into one hand, you keep your eyes on the white eyes of his mask as you bend down and pick up the sword. 

“Oh yeah, look at me during.” You ignore his comment, feeling the weight of the katana in your hand. It’s heavy, but perfectly balanced, feeling perfect as you spin it in your hand a few times, the hilt still warm from Red’s earlier hold. 

“Hot.” Red says as he twirls his second katana, mimicking you. Once more ignoring him, you put your knives back in their sheats. “Do you have them there to distract your enemies by making them think you are going to jerk off mid-battle?” You snort.

“No, they are there so they are more hidden, and more difficult to grab.”

“If you wanted my hands in your pants all you had to do was ask, baby.” You think Red is winking at you through the mask. You roll your eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Shut the fuck up.” With both of your hands on the hilt of the katana, you are ready to defend yourself from his first attack.

“Ohhh, you remind me of someone. I think the two of you would get along, he’s also a man of few words. Maybe I’ll let you live so you can meet him and fight him too, more material for my spank bank.” He definitely winks this time, then you are defending yourself from another attack from him. It pushes you backwards, again, but this time, you are able to attack back.

Though you can’t help but wonder if he’s letting you, just indulging you. Because you can feel how strong he is when you parry his strikes, you felt how strong he was when all you had was your knives.

It’s a dance, a dance he lets you participate in as you block, attack, block, attack, block. Redirecting his sword coming for your throat so it splinters wood instead of flesh.

“How did you learn to fight like this?” Wade asks, almost spinning as his energy is redirected away from your body. He is at least breathing a little heavier, and for some reason, you find yourself having a little fun, even though you think you know how this is going to end.

“I was a loser in high school. What about you?” You speak through gritted teeth, the sound of metal on metal filling the warehouse as you block another attack. You don’t even know why you ask him back, but it feels right.

“Something similar.” It’s still kinda hard to tell, but you think he grins under his mask as you attack back.

You do get a few cuts in, deep enough that it slices through his suit and the skin underneath, but it leaves you with little satisfaction as you see the cuts heal in seconds. Though at least his suit can’t fix itself, growing more tattered by the minute as new slashes and old bullet holes make a mess of it.

“So you are not just a pretty face, there’s some skills there.” You frown, anger flaring, and you are about to say something, but with a quick move that you have no opportunity to block, and that  truly demonstrates the difference between the two of you, he nicks you with just the tip of the katanta, just on the left corner of your mouth. You startle, but on instinct your tongue goes out to lick at the blood now sliding down to your skin. It just gives you more motivation to strike back, a big one that leaves behind what could almost be called a titty window on his chest, showing textured skin underneath.

“Ohhhh, freaky.” Red taunts, slicing your chest too, though your skin doesn’t heal when metal connects after slicing through your shirt like air. You curse, adrenaline causing your ears to roar, and the world to go a little fuzzy at the edges. You touch your chest, fingers coming back bloody, watching Red. Your own katana pointing towards the floor, ready, but down as you breathe heavily.

“Leaving yourself all open for me? You shouldn’t have.” Red coos, and that is what you are counting on. Letting him attack you straight on, thinking you have given up, so you can shove the katana through his skull, killing him again, and leaving you at least a few moments to high tail it out of there.

It’s what the plan is.

It does not work out like you intend it to.

It goes in a whole new direction.

Because when he comes close enough, you manage to get a hold on his shoulder, which gets you a hopefully not deadly slice over your abdomen for your efforts. You are moving quickly, seconds away from stabbing the katana through the bottom of his jaw. But then your fingers touch a bare spot on his shoulder where his suit had gotten torn, and there’s a sparkler going off in your brain, a sizzling sensation that settles in the back of your head as feelings of excitement, adrenaline, and happiness that are not your own speeds through your mind.

You gasp out loud.

You can’t help yourself.

Because you know what that was.

And there is no fucking way.

WHAT. THE. ABSOLUTE. 

FUCK.

Fucking no.

A soulmate.

You have a fucking soulmate??????

And this is how you fucking meet him????

In all of your turmoil, you have dropped the katana that was destined to go through Red’s skull. He is a few paces behind you, not immediately attacking, just watching you as you turn around in your now mostly frozen state.

“Wh-”

“Touch me.” Red blinks, owlishly even with the white eyes of his mask.

“Wow, so forward. You know, con-” 

“Shut the fuck up.” You march over to him, and in what seems to be confusion he lets you tug the glove of his hand that is not holding his katana. You interlace your fingers, the motion absurdly tender for the moment that is currently playing out. You see his eyes widen behind the mask, and you are sure his mouth opens and closes several times even hidden as it is.

“What the fuck.” The words are so soft out his mouth that you are not even sure he said them. Not that it matters, because a second later he is wrenching his hand back like you burned him. He runs past you, and you watch as he picks up his katana where you dropped it, and then keeps running after that brief slowdown, heading towards a door you hadn’t noticed while you were fighting. You startle yourself into action finally, following him, but he’s out the door before you can reach him.

On the other side there’s a hallway, and his back is quickly retreating, and all you feel is panic. You are not sure which of you it is coming from.

You try to keep up with him through multiple hallways, but he’s fast, getting out of the building before you do. It’s enough of a headstart that you only see backlights and hear the roar of a motorcycle speeding away.

You run over to where the cars you all arrived in earlier are parked, but of fucking course all tires are slashed. Not like you had any of the keys anyway, but they would have been easy enough to find in some dead man's pockets.

“Fucking MOTHERFUCKER!” You know he can’t hear you, but you hope Red feels your frustration through your bond as you punch the hood of a car, denting the metal.

(Part 2)

[badgalsasuke]

So I just want to go back to Naruto Gaiden once again and how it tells us the way adult Sakura interacts with other women, specifically women with some sort of connection to Sasuke.

INO

Although in Naruto Gaiden we're not given a single panel where Sakura talks negatively about any women, chapter 10 of Naruto Gaiden gives us the clearest example of how off-screen she definitely does talk negatively about some women.

Ino is greeting Sasuke after years of not seeing him, we have no idea how many years had passed since the two interacted but considering that Naruto is the only person that sees him often & Sasuke didn't return to Konoha for Naruto's wedding, they've probably haven't seen each other since Sasuke left the village to go on his atonement journey, so about 12 years.

Yet the moment Sarada sees and hears Ino she is wary of her. In the next panel we see her with her arms up looking uneasy and distressed with the words BLOCK (in other translations it says STEP IN) above her, indicating she's either signaling Ino to stop talking to Sasuke or blocking Ino from physically approaching Sasuke. Ino is of course dumbfounded by this and Sakura is behind them laughing nervously in embarrassment.

This indicates to us that Sakura has talked about Ino in a negative light to Sarada. We know that Ino had a crush on Sasuke when they were 12 that she eventually grew out of and Sakura must know this because Ino is now married to another man who is also the father of her own child and yet Sakura still sees her as a threat to her relationship with Sasuke to the point Sarada herself sees Ino as a threat to her family.

KARIN

We're not shown a single interaction between Sakura and Karin but we're given enough information to know that Sakura's thoughts on Karin are somewhat complicated.

So first things first.

Kishimoto has never written about the circumstances that brought Sasuke and Sakura together. What we know is 1. Sasuke rejected Sakura after she suggested to go with him on his atonement journey. 2. Sasuke didn't return to Konoha for Naruto's wedding (which was written in a very shady way). 3. Sakura went after Sasuke after Naruto's wedding (which was also written in a shady way). 4. They traveled together alongside team Taka during Sakura's pregancy. 5. After Sakura gave birth to Sarada she went back to Konoha to raise the child all by herself and Sasuke had no intention in being present in Sarada's life (had Sarada not chased Naruto and Naruto not taken Sarada to Sasuke, who knows when Sasuke and Sarada would've met).

Keep in mind Sasuke never cared about Sakura before Sarada. In Naruto, Sasuke pretty much says he doesn't care if Sakura lives or dies, and in Naruto Gaiden, Sasuke still doesn't care about Sakura after Sarada is born as we see how he looks less than amused when he sees Sakura after years of no contact and how he keeps denying her any sort of affection (they've never kissed).

So it's safe to assume Sasuke still didn't care about Sakura while she was pregnant with Sarada (yikes) which lead us to believe it was Karin who took care of Sakura during her pregnancy.

Karin reveals to us, the readers, very important information:

Karin delivered Sarada.

Sakura gave birth at one of team Taka's hideouts.

Karin gifted Sarada the pair of glasses she wears.

Those glasses are Karin's and the ones she had within reach considering Team Taka doesn't hangout around kids (in chapter 8 we see small Sarada wear glasses too big for her).

Karin is fond of Sarada, she calls her "Sarada-chan" and has also kept her in her mind long enough to know that Sarada has grown out of the pair of glasses she gifted her as a baby (chapter 10).

Karin even preserved Sakura's umbilical cord that Sakura didn't take with her.

Basically, Karin likes the child. Some people interpret this information as proof that Sarada might be an experiment that Karin was involved in, but that's not what this post is discussing so let's digress.

How does Sakura feel about Karin?

Unlike she did with Ino, Sakura doesn't talk shit about Karin, instead she simply doesn't acknowledge her at all. This obviously leads to a messy situation: Sakura took a picture of teenage Sasuke with team Taka (but not her umbilical cord lol) and plastered her own picture over Karin's face.

What is particularly funny is that had Sakura just had that picture of team Taka framed normally and Sarada eventually asked about the woman with glasses she could've just said "Oh! that's Karin she's the medic-nin that delivered you when you were born :) she also gifted you the glasses you wear. I wonder what she's up to now?" perfectly normal response that would've answered some of her daughter's doubts and calmed her insecurites. But no, Sakura had to be very secretive about it because God forbid there are other women in Sasuke's life.

When Sakura is told that Sarada found the picture of Taka and ran away to find her dad this is her reaction.

She knows she fucked up. Also, it's very bizarre behaviour to act like this towards the woman who basically looked after you during your pregnancy and who has your child's best interests at heart. Even as an adult Sakura is still a male-centered woman. She cares about having a man before anything else hence her behaviour. Any woman that she feels threatens her status as Sasuke's wife is an enemy to her, she either talks shit about them, ignores their existence or in some twisted way tries to take their place.

Although I personally believe Sakura does care about and loves Sarada, I also believe Sakura sees Sarada as an extension of Sasuke thus as an extension of her status as Sasuke's wife. Sarada is the only proof Sakura has that she and Sasuke are together because that man could not care less about her, so in a twisted way Sakura doesn't want Sarada near other women in the way she doesn't want Sasuke near other women and she also wants Sarada to mistrust other women in the way she mistruts other women.

This insecurity not only reflects poorly on Sakura but also showcases how fragile Sakura and Sasuke's marriage is if Sakura and Sarada have to be up in arms everytime a woman approaches Sasuke.

What Naruto Gaiden shows us is that Sakura is an emotionally stunted, immature, selfish, male-obsessed woman who in order to feed her self-delusions has no issues of hurting her daughter along the way. Just sad.

Now I wonder how she feels about the fact that it was Naruto who brought Sarada and Sasuke together and who was able to pacify a dismayed Sarada. Always Naruto and never her.

[dunmeshistash]

My post about animal loving in Dungeon Meshi got a lot of traction (and I'm very happy so many people resonated with it) but I did leave out details that were too specific to the personal situation of the characters since I wanted to write something that was easy to understand by someone that had only seen up to that episode, since the episode about Senshi's past wasn't out yet, and because I wanted to focus on that subject as it related to that scene.

Ofc Senshi's relationship to Anne was more complex, he named her after the pony his party had to eat and he probably saw Anne the pony in the Anne the Kelpie, I think that would fit better in a Senshi analysis than an Anne the Kelpie analysis. There's also the fact that even tho Laios *knows* monsters are unpredictable and wild he thought he could control Kensuke which backfired during the dragon fight.

But those details I don't think added much to my line of thought, the way people justify why they think an animal is special varies a lot and can be rooted in past trauma, but the complexity of the relationship is one-sided. Not to say you can't have complex feelings about an animal, as long as at the end you understand them and their needs.

The Laios thing wasn't quite the same but it was also part of our relationship to animals tbh, I was analyzing it thru a lens of love and Laios does love Kensuke as an animal, but he also thought it was an animal he could control, which I also think it's human nature, he thought since he "understood" Kensuke he could control it, but he says so himself, he doesn't know how monsters think.

I think this one relates more to people that have so much experience with an animal that they forget wild animals are still unpredictable, a "perfectly trained" Lion is still capable of biting your head off even if it didn't the last 100 times.

I really enjoy how Laios reacts to it after he suffers the consequences tho

He never takes it personally when he suffers because of a monster, even towards the Red Dragon he never reacts in anger as if he needs to "take revenge" on the dragon and even tho Kensuke "betrayed" him he still feels sorry when he thinks he might have harmed him later on.

The thing he says about trying to find an use to living monsters reminds me of another Kui work. it's a great read and made me think a lot, chapter 8 from 'the dragon school is on top of the mountain' (Another option if you can't open mangadex)

This got longer than I intended and I'm not going anywhere with it, I just love animals and talking about loving them.

[beenbaanbuun]

ateez as sharks pt.2

too many sharks to choose from, to few members to assign them to. oh well! guess it just means i get to make a part two 👀

park seonghwa - epaulette shark

epaulette sharks are STUNNING!!! they are the epitome of sleek and genderless in shark form and i know seonghwa would adore them

epaulette sharks are incredibly unique (they can walk on land!!) and use that to their survival advantage. obviously seonghwa doesn’t use his beautiful uniqueness for survival, but it makes him stand out so beautifully just like the epaulette shark

kim hongjoong - portjackson shark

another cunty little shark for our cunty little guy. these guys are so gorgeous and cool and honestly remind me of hongjoong more than i care to admit

they’re known for being rather small, most of them not even growing to be one metre, and while they’re not particularly ferocious, they do have a generous spine protruding from their secondary dorsal fin. it’s like how hongjoong doesn’t look necessarily intimidating at first glance, but get him on stage and holy moly…

jeong yunho - bonnethead shark

i cant stop assigning silly looking sharks to jeong yunho and i will NOT apologise for that!! mr silly himself deserves to be represented by an animal just as silly as he is!!

they’re known to be pretty social sharks, often swimming in groups rather than by themselves. they’re not selfish or individualistic like a lot of other shark species and i think that represents yunho perfectly. he loves his team to death and you can clearly see that

kang yeosang - leopard shark

another cute little guy that i think represents yeosang so perfectly. whilst not as silly looking or as colourful as zebra sharks, they’re still sweet little guys with not a single bad bone in their body (well… cartilage i suppose)

they’re actually seen to display little to no fear of humans and are often viewed as being docile in nature. this doesn’t apply to their prey though since they’re pretty good hunters! it just reminds me of how yeosang is also seen as being ‘docile’ but behind it all there is an amazingly talented performer who isn’t afraid to be a little aggressive on stage when he needs to be

choi san - basking shark

now personally i hate basking sharks (which does NOT reflect on my views of choi san, i love that man so much!!) but i do have to say they’re the perfect choice for san…

they’re another species of shark that are viewed as being ‘gentle giants’, growing up to 8 metres in length yet only being filter feeders. i personally am afraid of them because of how scary they look despite just being big slow guys living their life peacefully; a sentiment i see reflected with san a lot (despite the fact that i don’t know how anyone can be scared of that big ball of fluff)

song mingi - hammerhead shark

listen guys, in the same way that saw sharks are just silly little men that are absolutely adorable, hammerhead sharks are also just fucked up little guys that most people agree are very sweet

these guys are literally physically incapable of hurting people, partly because of their sweet nature but also partly because of their tiny mouths. now i’m not saying mingi has a small mouth because that would be a lie, but i am saying that i don’t think that man could every intentionally hurt someone without feeling terrible for 4-5 business days

jung wooyoung - lemon shark

THIS IS THE COMPARISON IM MOST ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT GUYS!!! lemon sharks are so sweet and also very pretty (just like wooyoung)

due to their large brains, lemon sharks are incredibly social animals and often crave the attention of divers, swimming up to them and letting the divers touch and interact with them. they’re also known to express negative emotions (similar to jealousy) when divers are giving other sharks more attention. i just think with how sociable and sweet wooyoung is, this is the perfect shark

choi jongho - blue shark

am i sorry for continuing to give jongho the sharks that look like they’ve never had a thought in their life? absolutely not! he has those big beautiful boba eyes, he has to face the consequences

these little guys are incredibly versatile. they’ll live almost anywhere in temperate or tropical water, they’ll eat pretty much anything (even krill, despite them not being filter feeders), and whilst not necessarily being dangerous to people, have been known to take a nibble every now and then. maybe it’s just me but whenever i think versatile i think of jongho, and this shark looking a little silly just makes it even better

[scoobydoodean]

ok so forewarning, i don’t really have a question here, just lots of thoughts.

there’s so many layers to the general *badness* about the mia vallens therapy scene. like to the manipulation (for lack of a better word) that sam rewrites. like it makes such a difference that she thinks jack is their little brother instead of the son of the thing that killed dean’s best friend/loml. not to mention the fact that it’s been what like a week since *everything*

and like yes dean’s being cold towards jack and giving him orders (which, i could argue they weren’t uncalled-for), but tbh he’s only being moderately colder/more direct with him than he’s been with cas at times on hunts (thinking hunteri heroici) and even similar to how *sam* has been with like claire and even dean himself (thinking that episode dean turned into a teenager and all of MOC). like genuinely, how was sam expecting him to act like?

also (half joking) i genuinely think dean would’ve warmed up to jack even quicker than he did (we can already see it in this same episode, like that look he gives jack when he asks mia if buddy hurt her too) if he heard jack say he hates anakin skywalker lol

ok wait i do have a question. do you think jack actually was “terrified” of dean during that therapy scene?

(post linking to some context)

Okay so I rewatched 13.01-13.04 on a plane this past week so it's all extra fresh on my mind rn. The thing about 13.04 is that Dean wasn't comfortable bringing Jack on the hunt, and Jack didn't want to go, but Sam pushed insistently for all of them to go on the hunt together... primarily because Dean's feelings were thwarting Sam's plans for Jack and his own emotional coping mechanisms in a larger sense.

I think Dean's feelings compared to Sam's here are relatively more simple (and yet somehow still intensely misunderstood to a baffling degree). Dean was grieving. He was grieving Cas who died right in front of him, he was grieving Crowley (he pleads with Chuck to bring "even Crowley" back in 13.01!) and he was grieving Mary.

The thing with Dean's grief over Cas is this: instead of viewing it from Dean's perspective, we tend to analyze it as omniscient viewers who know Cas will come back, refusing see how miraculous Cas’s return truly was. We refuse to see Cas's death was different this time and appeared very permanent. There was no uncertainty like there was in season 7 or 8. His wings burned into the ground and his grace extinguished. Dean pleaded and prayed for Cas and Mary and Crowley's return to the only person who ever brought Cas back from certain death (via explosion in 5.01 and 5.22)—the person who told Dean in 11.23 he was leaving and Dean was on his own. Dean didn't hear back. The ONLY reason Cas comes back in 13.05 is that 1) Jack woke him him up unwittingly using powers no one knew he possessed and 2) Cas then annoyed a creature they didn't even know existed into letting him out of a place they 3) didn't even know existed and 4) Cas somehow came back with a body even though he had been burned to ash. All of this is completely miraculous. It was unforeseeable. It doesn’t even make complete sense as a viewer. In other words, Dean has ZERO reason to hope for Cas's return. There was ZERO reason to refuse to acknowledge that grief… but that's exactly what Sam does. He suggests Dean pray for Chuck to bring Cas back in 13.01. As soon as Sam knew Dean already tried that and Cas was DEAD dead, he treated Cas as something Dean needed to reframe and get over:

SAM: You thinking mom is gone and Cas is gone, and that Jack can’t be saved. Dean, after everything we’ve gone through… We just lost people we love, people who have been in our lives for a long time. Everything’s upside-down. I get it. But we’ve been down before. I mean, rock bottom. And we find a way. We fix it because that’s what we do.

This is the "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" speech in 13.02—like a day after they burned Cas's body. Sam's wording here is cruel too—saying Dean is "thinking" Cas is gone as if he didn't die right in front of him? He refuses to acknowledge Cas's death as something Dean was actively and rightfully mourning. This becomes a major point of contention between the brothers at the end of 13.03.

DEAN: Look, I know you think that you can use [Jack] as some sort of an interdimensional can-opener and that’s fine, but don’t act like you care about him! Because you only care about what he can do for you! So if you want to pretend, that’s fine! But me? I can hardly look at the kid! Because when I do all I see is everybody we’ve lost! SAM: Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack!

Sam will only name Mary—the one person whose death they can’t 100% confirm (the same thing happens in front of Mia in 13.04). The absence of Cas’s name here is pointed. So Dean says:

DEAN: And what about Cas?

And how does Sam respond?

SAM: What about Cas?

Uh... wow. That's what really sets Dean off to full on shouting:

DEAN: [Jack] manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!

Sam's denial of what Dean literally SAW (Cas died) and how that hurts—his insistence that Dean also halt grieving to hope for the impossible—it's a major sticking point and very revealing of Sam's own coping mechanisms. Sam's chief response to grief is to disassociate himself from it. We see a textbook case in season 8 (see: 8.08), but in most of the series, what this actually looks like for Sam is to keep moving and hunting (ex: 1.02, 2.02, 2.10, 2.11, 2.18 3.11, 4.09, 9.01) which is also why he insists on bringing Dean and Jack on the hunt in 13.04. Sam tries not to think about what they've lost and focuses on what he CAN do. He focuses on hoping Mary can be saved because she's the one person he didn't SEE die.

The thing about Dean’s grief over Mary is this: he convinces himself Lucifer had to have killed her. She's the one person whose death Dean can't be certain of, but he absolutely cannot bear the thought of hoping she’s alive and it turning out he’s wrong. He knows he wouldn’t psychologically survive hoping in that and his beliefs being crushed. It would be like losing his mom all over again (a THIRD time). So he sticks to what is most likely: Lucifer killed her. He can't contend with the hope Sam is clinging to desperately, and that's what makes them such poor companions in grief. Sam feels off balance when Dean won't keep moving and hoping like him—when Dean can't keep up the pace Sam wants to run at in his own grief—and in doing so, Sam keeps pushing Dean to contend with hopes that open Dean up to a WORLD of pain Sam can psychologically convince himself not to feel. Grieving together just really just doesn't work for them because they're never on the same page and deal in such different ways—and this has been hurting them from as early as 2.02!!!

Now to bring Jack into this more fully: Jack represents Sam and Dean's different perspectives on grief and on Mary. Just like Dean despairs over Mary's demise, Dean despairs over the possibility of Jack being good. He can't bear the idea of hoping in that and being wrong. The psychologically safest option for him is to assume the worst and not hope or believe in anything turning out okay.

Sam, on the other hand, pretty much immediately sees a way to use Jack to get Mary back. This is clear when he and Jack get locked up together in the jail cell in 13.01. After establishing that Jack isn't hearing things and (probably) isn't going to murder him imminently, Sam immediately starts down a line of questioning establishing how well Jack understands his powers, and then asks him outright:

SAM: Jack, look, um... before you were born, you -- you opened up a door to another world. Do you remember that? JACK: Yes. SAM: Okay, um, could you do that again?

Shortly after, when Sam arrives, he tells Dean (who is convinced after everything that happened in 12.23 that 12.19 that Jack is evil or will turn evil):

We need him.

Sam repeats this sentiment multiple times with clear meaning, and later in 13.04, he admits to Jack that he wants to use him to open the portal. This doesn't mean he doesn't also grow to see himself in Jack quickly and genuinely believe in his capacity for good, but he isn't fully honest with Jack about his motives until 13.04 where he finally comes clean, and this poisons the well with Jack a little.

@shallowseeker has pointed out before that in 13.03, while trying to figure out how to get Jack's powers to work (and spying on Jack through cameras from another room) Sam is seen reading "The Drama Of The Gifted Child". I wish I could find the post because Shal probably brought it up too, but when I was rewatching this episode, I noticed the chapter Sam had just settled into read before being interrupted was titled,

"Depression and Grandiosity: Two Related Forms of Denial"

Given the accusations flying from Sam toward Dean then from Dean toward Sam about denial in the following episode (13.04), this feels amusingly pointed. Dean is depressed (and about to attempt suicide in 13.05), Sam is depressed and has "grandiose" ideas of using Jack to pop open a portal to another reality while hiding behind the guise of being the most rational person in the room when he... isn't necessarily? And it's easy to argue "Well, Sam turns out to be right even if he didn't ultimately have much of a reason to think he was" but the core problem here is how his beliefs effect how he treats other people's grief. He isn't honest with Jack about his motives (while Dean is somewhat brutally honest) and pushes and watches even while claiming he's giving Jack space (13.03), he refuses to give Dean space to grieve even the family member they know is dead, he inserts a therapist into the situation and criticizes Dean's grief when Dean won't play his game, and in 13.05, after Dean says that he can't believe in anything right now, Sam's clumsy attempts at help involve plying Dean with alcohol he says he doesn't even want and trying to send him off to strip clubs—believing that Dean performing being okay will somehow address his mental state because Sam's idea of coping himself is simply "going through the motions".

As for Jack, I don't think he's scared of Dean. I think he's scared of what Dean believes. He's scared that Dean is right. From 13.01-13.06, Jack is contending with the question of whether he's destined for evil or good, and in his depressed state, Dean believes Jack is destined for evil because hoping in anything is completely beyond him at that moment. Sam tells Jack that he can be good, but he hides ulterior motives as to why he's being nice, and when those ulterior motives are revealed, it leaves Jack thinking Sam is the kind of person who will lie to Jack and tell him he's good just to get what he wants. Meanwhile, Jack knows Dean is being completely honest with him about what he believes. 13.03 and 13.04 clearly demonstrate that Jack understands the difference between beliefs and facts: Dean could be right or he could be wrong. What Jack holds onto like an anchor is that he can trust Dean to tell him the truth about what he believes—even if it hurts.

It's also just so obvious that Jack immediately wants Dean—specifically—to like him (see: Jack mimicking Dean's mannerisms while eating in 13.02, and his clumsy attempts to earn his favor in 13.04). Sam also picks up on this, and encourages Jack to seek Dean's approval in 13.04 to try and change Dean's beliefs. Sam (and to some extent Jack) are thinking in 13.04, that if Jack can prove to Dean that he can be good, and if Dean tells him he did a good job (which Dean does in the end), Jack can believe that. Sam sees that Jack wants Dean's approval and the impression that Dean's beliefs have had on Jack and thinks by pushing them together as soon as possible (when neither of them want to go on the hunt) and treating them as a family and forcing Dean to accept Jack when Dean just isn't ready (including by paralleling Jack with himself in a way that becomes an accusation), he can "fix" Jack so he isn't scared of his powers anymore (13.03) and then he can teach Jack to use his powers and Jack can open a portal to save their mom.

Jack's attempts to earn Dean's favor in 13.04 are clumsy. His first attempt is directly ignoring Dean telling him to wait in the car and sneaking into the crime scene, potentially contaminating it. At Mia's office, Jack's outburst about losing a mother is what allows Sam to set up the whole family therapy trap to begin with, and because Dean knows Sam is going to use that to hurt him, he warns Jack not to make outbursts like that. Dean is not being nice. Point blank. And I do think his tone is a little different than with Cas which in the past felt more like exasperation. I also don’t think it makes him the devil. I think that's understandable when putting in even a tiny amount of effort and it's kind of laughable to me how few people seem to even try because they're so caught up in Sam's happy family narrative and the idea that someone wanting Dean's approval presents an obligation that Dean give it no matter how emotionally impossible—and in a situation where asking him to lie would actually destroy that much more of Jack's trust.

[firestorm09890]

actually sort of unbelievable how much Zexion haunts the narrative compared to the other Organization members in Castle Oblivion. Vexen also does, but like, he actually deserves to. It's his replica project that's a central plot device in both CoM and Days, him not being there to keep it on track causes many problems. but Zexion? it's. a lot, especially considering back in 2004 people on game forums were calling him the most useless organization member (no respect for strategists smh, it's aaaalways about powerscaling and combat ability to these people)

we start with Replica Riku going to fight Riku after realizing that even if he has "newfound power" (Zexion's) it's still not actually his. in the Days novel Axel brings up Repliku devouring Zexion like two other times when thinking about Xion's state of being. I'm not even counting this. novels don't count and it's not like Repliku uses any illusions or anything, it's just his raw power.

In regular canon Days, Axel makes explicit mention of him when talking to Saïx.

He also mentions Marluxia, but it's in the middle of their conversation, when talking about how Marluxia was a traitor after all. This, on the other hand, is like an important thing Axel almost forgot to mention.

He later brings up getting rid of Vexen and Zexion, but the first time is just Zexion. These two are true for both DS Days and HD Cutscene Days.

And then! Zexion gets a voiced cutscene in the middle of Days! The game that does not do voiced cutscenes except for when they want to do something really big!

my beautiful wife nintendo ds dual screen

And they couldn't just reuse things from Re:CoM either because the memory Riku's having was of a moment that used dialogue bubbles, they put in work for this.

I think?? The scene is supposed to showcase Xion absorbing thoughts from other people? It's really weird since it's the only time it happens to someone who isn't Roxas but you know what this means? Riku was thinking about it. 8 months later, Zexion's accusations are still burned into his mind. This is REAL NARRATIVE HAUNTING, BABEY and it KEEPS GOING

Before Zexion put the idea in his head, Riku didn't even consider that Sora might not accept him with the darkness in his heart. He had his big moment in CoM where he accepted himself, but it still scared him badly enough that he did... basically everything he did in kh2 instead of trying to find Sora and talk to him. Zexion's actions "lived" this long. I think it's 3/4 that Sora's memories of CO were erased and 1/4 that Marluxia simply did not have the presence in the Organization to leave a gaping void after his death but man, the final boss left barely a whisper in comparison to this.

And then finally there's this of course

done to keep his weapon a mystery but how weird do you think it must've felt for the characters to see it? did they wonder what happened? I sure wonder what happened

also I lied this somehow isn't the end. for whatever reason in Melody of Memory Zexion gets more spotlight than almost every other member of the original organization except xemnas and the sea salt trio

in conclusion i hate it here. I would also say Vexen deserves more respect for leaving the most obvious void in the group after his death except that someone wrote a full 358/2 Days au longfic about it so I really don't need to

[inmyheaddd]

Hi love, could i request maybe a Jameson version of your childhood friends to lovers with Grayson. Maybe in Jamie’s version reader is like the daughter of Tobias’ tailor or something like that.

jameson hawthorne childhood friends to lovers head cannons

thankyou so much for the reqq, this is a long one but def one of my favs i’ve written so far!! wc: 4.9k

being the daughter of one of tobias’ close friends, who was also his tailor, meant you were often at the hawthorne house.

when your dad needed someone to watch you when your parents would go out, tobias would always offer for you to come over to the House and play with his grandsons.

at 7, you didn’t have much in common with any of them, but talking to them was still the best part of your day.

one of them in particular made your day better, jameson.

the first time you met him, you were 7 and he was 8. you and your dad were standing outside the front door. a maid opened it, and jameson being the curious child he was, was standing not far behind.

“who are you?” he asks whilst holding a pen, an apple, and a usb stick in his hands. you later learned jameson holding random miscellaneous items was a common occurrence; he practically lived for games.

“i’m y/n” 

“hey buddy,” your dad jumps in, crouching to meet jamesons height. jameson already knew your dad and thought of him as a funny uncle he never had.  “this is my daughter, i’m gonna be dropping her off with you lot while i’m out running errands, that okay with you?”

“does she like playing games?” he asks

“she loves playing games, right honey?” 

“yeah…” you say, looking at your feet. jameson sees that and smiles to himself.

“good,” he says with a wide grin on his face “i love games,” he continues.

“great, you two will have so much fun.” your dad says as he pats his shoulder, “have fun, alright sweetie?” 

you and your dad say goodbye, and you’re now standing in the foyer with 8 year old jameson. “hi. what’s your name?” you ask, realizing he hasn’t told you his name yet.

“jameson. do you wanna see my favorite secret passage?”

“you have secret passages?!” you ask, dumbfounded because you thought that stuff only existed in movies.

“so many of them,” he says dragging the “so”. jameson had a slight lisp because he lost one of his top two teeth, and it made you laugh slightly whenever he spoke. 

jameson sensed your nervousness at the start and was by your side all day, doing all the talking and getting the awkwardness out of the way.

you swore he was like your white knight in that moment.

in 10 minutes, you were best friends—well, as close as you could get to a random boy you just met. but as kids, all you need is one thing in common in order to be besties for life.

he then introduced you to his brothers.

grayson was standoffish with you at first, but soon enough, he warmed up. 

nash was 5 years older than you, so he didn’t really see a reason why he would need to be friends with a 7-year-old, but he was still always polite and never failed to make you laugh.

you and xander got along great; he was like another younger sibling to you. 

jameson was just something else. even at 8 years old, he still managed to make little you blush. maybe it was because he was the first one you met; who knows? all you knew was that you absolutely loved talking to him, and you were devastated when your dad came and it was time for you to leave.

“if you want, i can carry your toys outside." he said to you, when you were struggling to pick up all your things and your newfound treasures you and jameson had found in the backyard.(random rocks and stones)

“no it’s okay. i’m a dependent woman,” you say, sticking your chin up high. 

jameson grins at you. “isn’t it independent woman?” 

“i don’t know... i just heard it on tv” you say with an honest shrug as you both laugh.

ever since that day, you were always over at each other's houses.

jameson brought you so much out of your comfort zone

one day you were talking about how you wanted to have a tea party, but you didn’t want jameson to think it was silly.

“what would you think of a tea party? hypo-hyporectically” you ask, unsure of how to say the word you heard some adults say.

“i don’t really think of tea parties,” he replies, as he’s taking apart a pen, seemingly looking for something. 

“but what if you did? like, if someone asked you to one?” you ask again, your voice pitching higher at the end of the question.

“do you want to have a tea party?” he chuckles while raising his eyebrows, looking away from the pen and up at you.

“yeah..? it’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“who said i didn’t want to? i’d love to.”

“oh” you say, and a small smile starts to creep up on your face. “that’s good. we should have one”

“you’re right, let me go call my brothers!" he says halfway through running towards one of the many secret passages.

“wait, no!” you exclaim, and you start to chase after him. “they’re going to think it’s stupid!” 

he shouts as he continues to run . “no they won’t, they’ll love it.” 

“please please please please don’t ask them, jameson.” you’re practically begging him not to ask them. you were extremely comfortable around jameson, but for some reason, the idea of asking the others to join made you feel silly.

he finally stood and turns around, and he’s extremely out of breath. “fine, only if you beat me in a race.”

“what?! no way!”

“i’ll give you a head start,” he says in a singsong voice.

he stays true to his word and gives you a head start; but he still wins.

looking back, you’re so glad he asked them because they all ended up agreeing, and the whole night was filled with laughter and fun. 

it was definitely one of your core memories. grayson was crowned the moodiest tea party princess - there’s a legit certificate of it somewhere in the house signed by all 5 of you.

soon enough, you started to participate in the saturday game mornings, and there was always a friendly fire between you and jameson. 

you’d agree to work together, knowing fully well that you’d both end up double-crossing each other at the end.

jameson made a few nicknames for you: the most used one was sewing machine, but it later shortened to “machine”; he said it also worked because ‘your brain worked as fast as a machine’. jameson and his reasoning...

as tweens, you and jameson were a nightmare to adults.

you would always make up the craziest random competitions on the spot:

“who can skip backwards whilst also saying the alphabet backwards without messing up”

“who can close their eyes and win tic-tac-toe 3 times in a row first.” spoiler alert: none of you won that one.

“who can annoy grayson the most today” usually, jameson would win that one. 

as you grew older, your dad would ask you to drop off some of tobias’ suits at the house and then come back home.

yes, you would drop off the suits, but you’d spend another 5+ hours there hanging out with jameson.

your dad obviously knew this, but he was fine with it. he knew jameson was a good person, and he had a hunch that you felt something for him.

you and jameson went through all the phases together.

he will never admit it, but he did have a pop music phase for a while with you... 

tell anyone, and he’ll deny it like his life depended on it (katy perry, lana, and taylor swift carried him through 2014).

you also had a very short-lived grunge phase. he still has his ears pierced from when you pierced them at home for him.

you both only wore black for a week, but ultimately decided it wasn’t for you.

you also went through a gaming phase. jameson had a whole room built purely for games, which you barely used after that short lived era. it didn’t go to waste though; xander transformed it into his designated robot room.

you guys didn’t go to the same school at this time, so practically every day after school you’d meet up somewhere and talk, or one of you would go to the other's house and hang out there.

you’d usually go to the hawthorne house to talk about your day with jameson, while discovering new secret passages and puzzles in the house.

the thing is, you weren’t like this with anyone else. but when you were with jameson, you never had to pretend or try, being yourself with him was as easy as breathing. you never had to worry about being judged. you always thought this was just because you knew him for so long. 

at 14, you had your first real crush (or so you thought). 

the guy sat next to you in english, and every time you would need ‘to discuss your answers with the person next to you’ you’d talk to him, and you guys would always go off topic. 

talking to him sort of felt like talking to jameson. 

whenever you mentioned him to jameson, he would suddenly seem uninterested. you figured it was because the topic of crushes was more girl talk. you soon stopped talking about him.

you two ended up getting into a relationship with him at 15; it was 2 weeks (2 weeks too long) and extremely boring.

he clearly felt the same way, because he’d always be late to your hangouts or have some dummy excuse. one time he blew you off for the mall when you were already there. 

you decided to roam around anyway and do some shopping, and there he was, walking hand in hand with some other girl in your school. then he leaned in and kissed her.

you didn’t even know what to do. you froze. it's like your brain was on autopilot, and the only thing it knew how to do was call jameson.

“hey machine, what’s up?”

“hey, um, are you free right now?” you ask, biting your bottom lip and hoping for a good response. 

“i’m always free for you. is something wrong?” 

“no, nothing's wrong!” your voice begins to waver, and you pray he doesn't notice.

“i know you well enough to not believe that lie. where are you?” 

“it doesn’t matter, can i come over? i’m fine, just…” you pause, looking for the right excuse, but you come with nothing.

“just what, y/n?” he says softly.

“i can come over right?” you avoid his question by asking one of your own.

“of course you can,” he says, with a hint of confusion in his voice.

“okay, bye”

“wait wh-“

you shut your phone off and take a deep breath, closing your eyes and pinching your nose bridge. “what am i even doing?” you think to yourself

as you arrive to his house, you notice that some of his friends are just leaving. you start to feel guilty on top of what you’re already feeling as you realize he must’ve gotten them to leave for you to come. it’s like, at any second, you’re going to break and pour out all your emotions.

when he opens the door for you, he immediately does a once-over on your outfit and realizes you were meant to meet up with that guy from your english class. he knows this because whenever you hang out with him, you dress like the type of people he likes. not what you like. 

“you wanna tell me what’s going on?” he asks, looking down at you with soft eyes.

you shake your head, looking at your feet, and when you make eye contact with him, the strong facade you put on in front of everyone else cracks, and your eyes start to water. 

he pulls you in for a hug and you try your hardest not to cry.

”you don’t have to be strong around me.” the second he said those words it’s like a dam broke out in your eyes.

a few minutes later, no one could even try to stop your ranting. “he’s always- he’s always blowing me off, and whenever he does show up- he’s always so, so, so late” you say in between hiccups and sniffles. you knew future-you would be mortified from the ugly crying on his shoulder, but in the moment, you just needed to be with jameson. 

you continue to express your feelings, and when you mention the fact that he was hanging out with another girl today, and kissed her, he pulls back from the hug and places his hands on your shoulders.

“i’m sorry, what?” he says with his eyes narrowed. 

“he had you, and he was with someone else? you have to be joking.” 

when you don’t respond, he turns his head away from you and mutters under his breath, “im gonna kill this guy” 

he turns to face you again.

“what’s his name again? full name” 

“jameson.” you warn seriously as you tilt your head.

“his name is jameson too? what a coincidence! we can have a lovely chat about what it’s like to be called jameson.” he remarks sarcastically, with a tight-lipped smile on his face. 

you half-roll your eyes and say, "his name isn’t jameson. ive told you his name before” 

“i don’t store unnecessary, wasteful information in my brain. it messes with my aura,” he jokes to make you feel better as he moves his hand and gestures around his face, then places it back on his shoulder. “now though, his name is very useful to me. his name?” 

you tell him his name, and you can practically see jameson store it away in his brain.

"let's get you inside, yeah?"  

the rest of the night, jameson was being extra unpredictable and funny to make you forget about recent events, and he was literally doing anything you asked.

he always complains and groans when you want to watch old timey movies, but that day he had no problem with watching little women & pride and prejudice.

he was still himself though.

“i don’t understand how you like this movie; it’s so... boring.”

“this movie would be so much better with action cars and sound effects.” that one earned a half-chuckle out of you.

“it’s like you don’t even have to guess or predict anything; it just happens?”

midway through his complaining, he looks over at you and sees you're fighting to stay awake.

“oh, that’s why you weren't responding” he murmurs 

he told himself off in his brain to stop talking so you could sleep, and at the end of the movie he carried you to one of the many guest rooms and put you in bed.

in the middle of the night you woke up, in an unfamiliar room. you remembered that you were last watching a movie with jameson, ‘did he bring me here?‘ you thought as you got up out of bed and stretched. 

jameson heard a knock on his bedroom door and opened it, he was shocked to see you awake. 

“what are you doing here?” he says, his voice low like he hasn’t used it in a while. 

“um, i woke up, and i couldn’t go back to sleep,” you say as you scratch the back of your neck 

“you wanna sleep here?” he asks with his classic jameson smile, even when he’s half asleep.

“if it’s alright with you” you say, starting to smile back at him.

“all yours,” he says as he opens the door fully to let you in first, then closes the door behind you and follows you.

you asked him what time it was, and he answered. but his mind wasn’t focused on the time. it was like every single moment you two had spent together was crashing out of his mind, and all he could think of was you. he laid on his back, staring up at the wall with you next to him, laying on your side, already sleeping. 

he knew he loved you. he had known that for a while. he knew you weren’t only a childhood friend, you weren’t only some girl whose dad was friends with his grandfather, you weren’t just a girl who he’d laugh with sometimes. you were it. you were everything to him. you’d seen him through everything he’s been through, and you still always stayed. you were kind and forgiving in times when no one, not even him, deserved it. you were everything and more. 

but in his mind, he wasn’t.

“compared to your brothers, your mind is ordinary." the old man’s voice rang through his head. 

he looked over at you and realized that he didn’t deserve you. not one bit. he couldn’t bear to see you hurt again, and it would tear him apart if he was the reason for it - because he wasnt good enough. being just friends with you was safer, but it was also tearing him apart every passing day. 

he needed to be better, for you.

over the next few weeks, jameson started to distance himself.

you were so confused. “did i do something?” “was the crying too much?” “i messed everything up” were thoughts that clouded your brain for months.

jameson on the other hand, was thinking this was all for the better. 

“i’ll get better at this, i'll be perfect for her, and then ill come back”

he just kept striving to do one more thing, but it was never enough for him. he felt like he’d always be one step away from perfect. 

but he had to be perfect, so he kept trying.

you and jameson turned into strangers who happened to know everything about each other. you’d still text each other sometimes, pretending like nothing happened and wishing the other a happy birthday.

your birthdays didn’t feel the same without him.

your favorite birthday was when he gifted you a riddle box you had to solve when you were 14. once you solved it, there was a letter inside titled “to my best friend." some spelling mistakes here and there, but you still treasured it like it was worth all the money in the world. 

it was the summer before you started 11th grade, and you were going to be attending heights country day that year.

you went downstairs to get a cup of water, and as you were standing looking at the fridge, you noticed an old drawing you made at eight of you and your family hung up on the fridge. on it, there was little jameson next to you and labeled it “my best friend”.

 your mood was instantly dampened, and you started reminiscing about times long gone.

 you went to reread the letter in the riddle box that he once gave you. you knew that moving schools would mean you’d have to face jameson much more frequently. 

you wanted to remember what you once had. “maybe if i don’t mess up this time, i could have that again.” it was putting salt on an open wound.

you sat down on your desk, placed your water next to you, and opened that riddle box once again. the familiarity of the whole process from how many times you’ve opened it made it no longer a riddle. it was practically muscle memory now. you took out the letter, and reached to turn on your lamp, accidentally knocking the cup of water in the process.

you immediately got up from your chair as the water spilled all over your desk and picked up the letter.

“shit shit shit shit,” you repeated as you tried to salvage it. 

“no no no, this can’t be happening,” you murmured as your voice started to shake.

you brang it up in front of your face and noticed the back, and you started to see writing appear that you'd never seen before.

“am i tripping?” you questioned, and turned it around back and forth, then you started to chuckle. “there’s no way.” 

you then realized he used one of many hawthorne classics - invisible ink.

you sat down back at your desk and took a picture of the letter, just in case it disintegrated later on.

you started to read through the new writing that you had just discovered. 

“hey machine, i know you’ll never read this, but i’m writing it anyway. that’s something i do a lot—things that are useless just for that rush of excitement, for that risk. mother says im “hungry”. im starting to think she’s right.

in all seriousness though, i'm actually not hungry. i just did a scone eating competition with xander. not our brightest idea. i think i wont have to eat for the next 10 years of my life. 

okay, in actual all seriousness, i love you. i should’ve probably done some big lead up to that, but honestly, thats all i know. all i know is that i love you. you make me feel a feeling that’s unexc unexpli unexplainable—that’s love, isn’t it? whenever i’m with you, i never feel like i need more, like im "hungry."  you’re it for me. you’re everything and more. the old man once said to me, “there’s men like us only love once, fully, wholeheartedly. it’s all consuming and eternal." i think he knows—hell, he probably knew before i did—that i love you. how could i not? everything about you is so perfect. i knew you were going to be someone important in my life since the second i laid eyes on you. i just never knew how much.” your hand covered your mouth as you continued to read, as you got to the end, you swear your heart broke in two. “…what i'm trying to say is, i would carry your toys for you any day if it means i get to see you smile - if it means you’re happy. i would go through any phase in the world, as long as it's with you. i would discover every secret passage if it meant discovering it with you. i'd climb every mountain, i'd watch every rom-com, i'd read every book, i'd do anything, if it was you asking.

i love you, machine.

endlessly and eternally yours, 

jameson” 

by the end of the letter, you were in shambles.

he loved you? for all this time? and you never even knew? if he loved you, why’d he leave?

you knew the letter was old, and it was written before you two drifted apart, but something inside of you was itching to call him and tell him what you found—what you know now.

you called him, waited, and waited. you were just about to hang up and forget all about it when he picked up on the 5th ring.

“jameson, hi” 

“machine?” he sounded almost in shock. he cleared his throat and spoke again.

“y/n, hi. to what do i owe the pleasure of this call?” he seems to have regained his composure quickly.

a smile found your face. he still talks the same.

however, it quickly fades when you remember the premise of which you’re calling. 

“i know this is extremely random, but um. i was rereading a letter you once gave me, the one from that riddle box.” you pause and wait for his response. 

“yes?”

''and water spilled on it." you continue

“oh.” you hear him shuffle for a second, and he continues, “i’m sure you enjoyed 15-year-old me’s spelling mistakes."

“there weren’t that many, actually,” you say with a small chuckle. 

jameson hated talking to you like this, like you weren’t practically the same person split into two. but he knew it was his fault.

“yeah, i'm pretty sure i used a grammar checker. or i asked grayson. same thing” 

you laugh. and your laugh has him regretting every single decision he made that didn’t involve you. he was such an idiot for leaving in the first place. he needed to make things right.

“that’s grayson for you,” you reply, and he’s brought back to reality. 

he lets out laugh, and then says, “you know, i heard from a little birdie that you’re moving to heights country day this year.” 

“yeah, i am actually,” you reply with a small smile. 

jameson hears your smile in your voice. the things he would do to be able to see that smile.

the rest of the conversation goes smoothly, and it ends with jameson asking you to come over for a rundown of what to do in school. what he was really asking, was for you to come over so you could talk about the letter. 

you arrived at the hawthorne house exactly on time.

 jameson opened the door and smiled at you. in that moment, you swear you actually felt your heart skip a beat.

a few hours later, when you’ve gotten back into the rhythm of talking with jameson and laughing with him, he actually started to help you with school. he gave you some of his books from last year for you to catch up on. 

he was on a ladder, reaching for one of the books in one of many libraries, and you were behind him basically ogling at his arm and back muscles that were peeking through his white shirt. he really had grown.

he suddenly says “my feelings didn’t change, you know.” 

“what?” 

“the letter.” he says when he turns around with the book in his hand. he pauses for a second, searches your face, and continues. 

“i feel every single thing for you now than i did then, probably even more if it’s even possible. i could never forget about you. every corner of this house has memories of me and you. so does every corner of my mind. i love you.”

he puts the book down, takes a step forward, and you look up at him.

“jameson i..” you trail off, trying to find the right words. i’ve loved you since i could remember. every good memory i have has you right next to it. since the second i went through that first passage with you, i had a feeling that i never felt before, and it kept growing with every step i took. every step we took, together. i love you." and after a second, you continue. "but why’d you leave?” you say that with your eyebrows slightly furrowed and a light shake of your head.

when you say those last words, a flash of hurt passes through his eyes.

“i’m sorry. i wish i could give you some great reason why i did, but i cant." he takes a deep breath in "i wanted to be better for you. i didn’t want to be ordinary with you.” that was the first time he ever confided in someone about that feeling. ordinary.

“jameson. you’re everything to me.” 

“i wasn’t enough.”

“you’re more than enough.” you tell him truthfully, and you reach your hand up to his face.

he does the same, and somehow he steps forward to be even closer to you than he already is.

"i love you, jameson, more than anything in this world. i'll spend every day of my life proving it to you if that's what it takes for you to see that you're not ordinary, you could never be. you're everything."

he looks down at you for a few seconds, and his eyes flicker from your lips to your eyes. 

he murmurs in a low voice, “if i kiss you, i don’t think ill ever be able to stop.” 

“who says i want you to stop?” your voice comes out barely audible. 

and with that, he kisses you. 

it was a slow, passionate kiss. one that said all the words you two weren’t able to. it wasn’t rushed; it was love.

your arms moved to wrap around the back of his neck, and his moved to your waist, drawing you in somehow closer than you already were.

for the rest of the night everything was normal between you two, like no time had passed at all. except you were extremely giddy, and jameson had his flirt on 100x more. 

later on, you two are lying on the couch with your head on his chest. he was playing with your hair when he broke the comfortable silence.

“you know that one guy, from your english class?”

“ugh, don't remind me of him,” you groan.

jameson chuckles, and you feel the vibrations coming from his chest. 

“i’m sorry, i’m going to have to,” he says through a smile as he pats your arm, and he resumes.

"whatever," you grumble through a small smile. "continue?" you add on.

“after you left that day, i told grayson what happened—not everything, but enough. he was the only person at the time who knew i liked you. back to the point, we went to the mall, and lucky for us, that guy was still there. his little lady friend seemed to be somewhere else. but there he was.” 

“oh my god,” you mumble as you turn your head to face him, “what did you do?”

a smirk starts to appear on his face as he looks down at you. “what makes you think i did anything?” 

“well for one, that smirk on your face,” you say with a laugh, “and secondly, well, i know you.”

he looks up at the ceiling and smiles. 

“me and grayson had bruised knuckles for a week or two, but it was worth it.” he chuckles as looks down at you.

“oh my god,” you mutter for the second time that day as you turn your head to the side and look away from him. you look back at him with raised eyebrows and a finger pointed at his face, “you’re insane.” 

“you love it.” 

after a beat of silence you respond, looking into his eyes with your voice barely audible.

“yeah, i guess i do.”

this was so longg, honestly idek if these even classify as head cannons anymore. atp they’re whole stories. sometimes writing for jameson is hard for me because i have no idea how to think like him, so i apologize if this is out of character 😭

anywayy i hope you enjoyed, lmk if you did! 🤍

[inchidentally]

something about those pictures of Oscar with his friends really got me crazy about landoscar. Their lives are infinitely different and i feel like thats a huge part of their dynamic. I'm not even going to say that they complement each other anymore, it's an entire opposites attract at this point. and it got me thinking about Oscar's fascination with Lando. Oscar's "you went everywhere!" or picking Lando for a having a good time MULTIPLE TIMES.... etc. Lando's "oscar's cool he's calm and relaxed" or "he's down to earth". so many times where the difference in their lifestyle showed yet the other person is interested in that. thinking about Lando going from club to club to club to country to country to model to model vs Oscar has probably vacationed in the same place with the same people for a month and has had the same gf since high school. i just feel like they both would integrate into the other's life so well because each one has got a missing piece of the puzzle for the other. you know what i mean? like does that make sense?am i sounding crazy again? thoughts?

ANON PLS you make nothing but sense !!

literally the things like they love about each other being the ways they're different!! Oscar has been a fanboy for over 8 or 9 years ?? of Lando not just bc of Lando's successes in racing but he's also an ardent follower of the ways in which Lando is extroverted and wild and funny and unpredictable. as you said Lando always says what he likes the most about Oscar is how steady and down to earth and just a good person he is.

and their holidays like this one always make me think of the latest sportbible and their ideal first date ideas where Oscar is super traditional and has only ever had one first date in his life so far - and Lando's like oh we fuck before we even get out the door for dinner safhalfghalfgasjfgajls

Oscar politely seeing the sites with Lily in a 'Mark's travel agent recommended it' set of locations and then a holiday rental with old friends going karting playing tennis and eating pizzas and gasp!! not shaving !!... vs Lando practically begging strangers in three different countries to cup his exposed breasts and ovulating nipples while playfully evading fans' attempts to track his movements like an Aeolian sex sprite turning a lush golden shade of tan beneath the kisses of an adoring Mediterranean sun

and the way in which that all translates to them as teammates and now friends but also how they're still so gently pawing at said friendship bc they want to spend more time together but don't want to directly push for it and their reactions to team orders drama is to laugh together and put on smiles for the other and the way they gloated over the drama faced by other teams during silly season bc Lando kept slipping up acting as if they'd been together "years" already instead of barely two and they gently push the muzzles of fans and media and netflix out of their time together like needy dogs trying to sneak into a bathroom likeeeeeee they are so something thoroughly unique together !!!

[thrandilf]

alright so Aaravos can't be killed permanently unless he's executed like the Cosmic Order did to his daughter, and we were just introduced to the Cosmic Order as the sort of Big Big Bad Awful antagonists- I'd wager that Callum being a human with two arcana may get their attention, so there's reason for them to be against the Main heroes/Xadia at large

so I'm sitting here like, what's to become of Aaravos?

Imprisoning him again would be the most anticlimatic thing ever after we waited 6 seasons to get him out

Can't kill him

I guess we could kill him for like, a little bit and that could be a season finale if it had to be but doesn't feel fulfilling to me

We could work with him, but he just had 6 seasons of build up as an antagonist and even IF he's in the right it'll be a hell of a battle to get to working together against a common enemy because I may be Team Aaravos but at this time literally no one else but Claudia is

We could reach some uneasy agreement where we just have to live with him but I don't know what sort of compromise he'd want/how that factors into a big kaboom possible end season of a series

Aaravos leaves Xadia altogether to go after the Cosmic Order, with What I have no idea, as I'm hoping his actions for the past 1000 years will make more sense soon. What has he needed to Wait for

On that note, the stars could align again and the Cosmic Order comes down to Xadia next season and we have to join Aaravos against them which seems kind of like the fastest option if we only have One season for all of this shit. Really weird though, if the Celestial Elves had nothing to say about this happening soon/any kind of prophecy so who knows. it would seem kind of out of the blue

Also, the Cosmic Order could come here, Aaravos gets what's to us a tragic death at their hands, and seasons 8-10 if we get them are about taking down the Cosmic Order but since Aaravos has spent so little time onscreen it would feel weird to kill him but I don't know anything so maybe

Idk, just my thoughts, we know his motivation/goal but unless if it really is just "generate enough chaos to get the Cosmic Order's attention for 1000 years while also taking out people I have grudges against" and that's the extent of his plan, I just don't know what else he's doing/it does seem like he doesn't actually care about humans if he'd kill so many of them, even right up to before he gets the most sympathetic, so idk. I'm not even sure what he's doing now that he's out except maybe wrecking stuff in Xadia? Which could somehow meet his chaos goal?

He's so precise about his actions but to what actual useful end and what he needs next I just have no fucking clue I'm gonna be so real

[melanieph321]

Dominik Szoboszlai x Black Reader - First Sight Part 4/8

The Ex

This story is about the night reader met her boyfriend Dominik and the series of crazy events that led up to the beginning of their love story.

Enjoy!

"Say something, please?"

You were still locked in the bathroom, faces inches apart, with Dominik pressing your back against the wall."

"Dominik?"

He didn't say anything for a few moments, just stared at you in stunned silence. You felt a lump form in your throat, waiting for his reaction. You once dread having to explain your sexuality to people, but your parents taught you at an early age about the importance of being open and honest about what you feel and for who, and since you liked Dominik, alot, he desrved to know.

"So erm...." He cleared his throat, making an effort to speak up. However the words that came out of his mouth made you want to slap him. "So you're one of them, huh?"

"A lesbian?" You frowned.

"Yeah?"

You sighed, "Yes. I guess I am, one of them. "

"Right."

"Actually I'm bi."

"Of course you are." He chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "Look, Y/N, maybe it was just me, but I really thought that you and I...you know, had something?"

"I thought so too." You mumbled, your eyes darting at the floor. But I've never..."

"Been with a man before?"

You nodded.

"....yeah I got that part." Dominik stopped pressing you against the wall, the moment between you having passed. He still lingered in the bathroom, but the newfound distance between you might as well be kilometers apart.

"Does this mean that you're still a virgin?"

It was another dumb question for him to ask, but you were just glad that he choose to be informed rather than letting his own prejudice make up his mind for him.

"Technically, maybe? However the things I've done with women....I think it would be very misleading to classify me as a virgin."

"Oh."

Dominik's cheeks grew red.

"Yeah." You smiled.

The two of you eventually left the bathroom, returning to a party you were no longer in the mood to join, that is, until you felt a tap on your shoulder.

"Cassie?"

"I knew I recognized that sexy ass walk of yours."

You were stunned and a little bit embarrassed. Cassie was your latest hook up, latest meaning you were on and off during your freshman year at university. At some point the two of you even lived together. However you decided to break things off with her due to your dropping grades, eventually moving in with Tara who was also studying to become a nurse. You and Cassie however, never failed to keep in touch, she was simply the coolest person that you knew, with her many piercings and unapologetic 'can do' attitude. Not to mention her banging body.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" She said, peering over your shoulder towards Dominik.

"Oh, yes. Um...Cassie this is Dominik, Dominik this is Cassie my...."

"Booty call" She grinned and stretched out a hand for Dominik to shake. He did so reluctantly. "She hates it when I tell people that."

You really did, especially after seeing the crumbling expression on Dominik's face.

"Where have you been Chiquita? I've been begging you to go out with me forever, but you're always so busy studying. I guess only a special person can drag you along to a party like this?"

Heat rose to your face. Dominik looked uncomfortable too, especially since the two of you almost had sex in the bathroom minutes ago.

"We're actually out for a beer run." You explained.

"Really? Who's dorm are you getting wasted in and why was I not invited?"

"Um, it's actually Tara's friend..."

"Tara?" Cassie smiled, a mocking smile. "Let me guess, her 'friend' is a guy? Asian perhaps?"

"Jupp." You chuckled. Cassie had gotten to known Tara well through you, however the two had a slight beef after Cassie called Tara out for having a fetish for Asien men. Tara obviously denied this, either way, their relationship was strained.

"Anyway, if you guys are sticking around for a bit, how about some shots?"

"Actually we we're...."

"Szobo!"

Like a psychic, Dominik's friend appeared with a tray of shots. "Take two." He encouraged.

"I'm good Ibou, thanks man."

"Come on Szobo, I thought you came to party, no?"

Dominik looked to you, his expression hard to read. Perhaps he wanted to leave, just like you?

"I'm down for a shot." Cassie grabbed two glasses from the tray, handing one over to you before you could protest. And just like that the night became a blur again.

Dominik withdrew to the living room, talking vividly with his friend as they sat on the couch. Or it was more Dominik's friend who did the talking, since Dominik's eyes were set on the coffe table before him, occasionally lifting his gaze to look at you from across the room. You stood with Cassie, catching up on what's been going on in your lives, however it was hard to be interested in anything she said when your heart was beating so profoundly for somone else.

"Dominik?"

"Yes?"

You approched him. It was well passed midnight, and it was safe to say that your beer run had not been a success. However, "....I don't want this night between us to end."

"Me neither." He admitted.

You smiled. "Cassie doesn't live far from here, please come with us."

Dominik looked to Cassie who was still enjoying herself on the dance floor, vibing to the music.

"She's really not that bad, I swear."

He looked to you, eyebrows furrowed. "I never said she was?"

"No, but I see the way you look at her, as if...."

"As if she's gotten to know you better than I have? It's called jealousy Y/N, look it up."

"W...what?"

He was grinning, but you were unsure weather he was serious or not.

"Y...You're jealous, of Cassie?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Apparently she can offer you more than I can do."

"Which is?"

"Well for starters, I bet she gives better head than me, since two women can't...."

"You're such a dickhead." You sighed. Dominik laughed as you hit him in the arm. "A real fucking dickhead."

"Bet you love it though."

"Trust me, I don't."

That was a lie, your heart was beating faster than normal, and the spark that you thought had faded when you told Dominik about your sexuality, returned.

"Are you guys ready to go?" Cassie asked, finally done for the night.

You looked to Dominik and he nodded. As you said goodbye to his friend, leaving his house, Dominik draped an arm over shoulder, pulling you close to whisper in your ear. "Just know that I'm willing to step up my game for you."

"What game?" You chuckled, his words tickling your ear.

The question answered itself as Dominik look at you, tounge swiping slowly across his bottom lip, indicating that tonight would be one you'd have a hard time forgetting.

[sable-skies]

I wanna see some drama.

Rank the Chain from 'good boy' to 'MY SCRIMBLO. MY BLORBO. BRAIN PARASITE. LITTLE STINK MAN BABY BOY'

oh boy this is gonna be interesting.

okay okay so lets make a few things clear: I haven't played every zelda game, so my opinions on the boys are mostly based on vibes or my personal headcanons for them! For reference, I've played a lot of modern loz games, but not a lot of the old ones. so take my opinions with the biggest grain of salt :]

We'll go in ascending order of good boy to scrimblo, because i love the dramatics.

9. Good Lad - Time.

Okay, I'm so sorry to all the OoT and MM enjoyers out there, but I do not care for these games. I have no attachment to them, and growing up on the internet in the late 2000s and early 2010s, where everyone and their mom acted like OoT was the tits with fries, has forever kinda ruined my relationship with those games. I acknowledge what they did for the series, and that they're important for 3D Zelda's as a whole, but holy shit. People on the internet were OBNOXIOUS

That being said, I still love Time! I'm more attached to him via the Hero's Shade rather than his own games, but I still like him regardless. I don't have many thoughts on him though past enjoying that he acts like a perpetually old man. Yknow that one post thats like "hey grandpa." "THE WARRR" "okay." Thats him.

Overall, 10/10 lad, I enjoy him a lot and I feel like he'd be nice to me so we're even steven.

8. Gooder Lad - Warriors.

It's been so long since I've played Hyrule Warriors, and I never played its DLC because I was a poor teenager at the time, but I appreciate the captain a lot! He's only higher than Time because I've actually played his games, so a technicality really.

Otherwise I love this slightly arrogant but otherwise whole and good hearted fella, and I love it when people give him dragon imagery. I also like to think he might be the most normal guy out of the entire group, like he's got a 401K and a retirement organized back in his time, so when he talks to everyone else and learns that they're literally just wild children he's like "huh. hm."

7. Gooby Lad - Wind.

THE GROUP BABEY!! THE ITTY BITTY FELLA!! Love him, love him so much. It's been years since I played Wind Waker and I never played Phantom Hourglass, but I loved this guys whole 100+ personality and everything. And dude, his whole journey being one fueled by personal stakes to get his sister back? Love it, absolutely love it.

I like to think he's the group baby at 13, with Four being 14, and it pisses him off endlessly. He wants to grow up so he can be of use to everyone around him, but little does he know that everyone wants to protect him because they want him to enjoy his youth, not like the rest of them who lost it in some form or another. Overall, excellent lad.

6. Goodest Lad - Four.

Again, did not play this dude's games, but I read the Four Swords manga so I'm a bit more familiar with his whole vibe. Hell a couple of years ago I did a headcanon post on how he divides into four people (based on personality theories), and I like his depth because of it.

I also love how he's probably given too much responsibility because of his maturity within the group, he's still a kid but because he acts a lot older sometimes the others just kinda forget. I also like to think that when he's having an internal/emotional issue he'll write up a note, split himself, and let the four figure it out. they'll find the note and it says some shit like "20 minutes. Figure it out. (please)"

Also he's excellent material for the burnt out gifted child. Love that for him.

5. The slightest of scrimblo - Hyrule

THIS DUDEEEE a few years ago I kinda dipped back into LU for a bit and found this artist that made some fucking like. renaissance shit for him and that's what unlocked my love for this dude. Unfortunately, I cannot remember the artist so i must live with the memory.

I really like how alone he was in his journey, how he only had the land and nature itself to guide him and offer comfort. Love how when he enters a bigger group he has to learn how to work in that setting, alongside maybe come out of his wilderness tended shell. Also I like to think that his possible fae traits make him a bit more uncanny than people realize.

4. A bit more blorbo - Sky

Eepy guy (just like me FRRR), overall fatigued but still kind hearted fella, I love it. I loved his game (fuck you Arin Hansen /j), and I love the personal stakes he has in that game as well. It's actually the only LoZ game that makes me a ZeLink truther, because otherwise I'm neutral on it.

What I also enjoy about him a lot is the untapped terrifying energy he could have. He's a god-killer, Hylia's Chosen Hero, he may not show it a lot, but I think he has the potential to really fuck some shit up but chooses kindness. I would love to write something someday where he's forced to choose otherwise.

But yeah squishy soft guy oh my goodness wubwuwbuwbuwbwubwb :33333

3. Blorbo parasitism - Wild.

The first parasite. The first brainworm on this list. I need to get an anti-parasite antibiotic.

OBVIOUSLY all the angst and buildup from his games is so much fun. I love when he has an internal crisis of going back to who he was 100 years ago, a quiet and burdened knight, or allowing himself to remain free-spirited and a bit deranged that his new life has given him. It's such a fun dynamic. And of course, I love his bond with Twilight. I think he needs someone to set him on the right path every once in awhile.

I also like to think he has a subtle undead quality to him. Similar to his mentor, something is inherently wrong with him on a spiritual or magical level, but that's for later. (maybe)

2. The ultimate stink - Twilight.

THE GUY!!! MY FAVORITE GUY!! No matter what he will always be the number 1 Link incarnation in my heart. I love him so much and when things get rough I just gotta be like "Twilight wouldn't want this for me" and keep on fuck it we ballin.

The untapped ANGST and TRAUMA from his journey drives me insane, I literally could write a whole essay about the shit he endured and how that must have affected him. I wanna write something one day about it but alas, perpetually tired, and I'm nervous about my writing so wheh.

Also I like to think he's horror adjacent. Don't ask me why, I couldn't tell you, but he has the same vibe as the dog from The Thing (1982) to me and I love that for him.

Actual fucking war criminal parasite in my head GET OUT GET OUT GET OUTTTT - Legend.

UGH this fucker. Who let this guy in???? Kill him, smasha with rock.

But on a serious note, while I finished his games (only really played ALBW), the depth he has from those adventures intrigues me endlessly. I love his bitter exterior yet still warm and kind heart, I love characters who act mean but are genuinely good deep down, they just need time to show it.

Also something possesses me when I draw him that makes him look so much more cunty than he actually is and I don't know what it is. I'm sorry for this, I cannot fight what the universe is clearly telling me to do.

He only outrights Twilight rn, because otherwise he would switch places with him. For now he's in my head and I'm shining sunlight on him through a magnifying glass like he's an ant on the pavement. Something Will Happen To Him if I have anything to say about it.

[pampanope]

Hello, how are you doing? I’ve come with more questions >:3

1. Since cannonly Graves’ died in MW2, how is he alive? Did some cute girl/boy/enby necromance him or something? Or was it something more reasonable and realistic. Hell, was he even in the area when he was supposedly killed.

2. Is MW3 cannon in the ShadowDadlderverse? I hear it’s really really bad and not many or everyone considers it to be not cannon. This question goes hand in hand with the former

3. How did Graves’ feel when he realized that his dad wasn’t a hero? Did his finding out happen to coincide with Bell? Or is Graves still blind to what Addler did to Bell?

4. Since the Shadows are notably close in their verse, they most likely have game night. What games and movies do they play while together? What games and movies are banned?

5. Since I cannot go five questions without asking about fantasy and dnd, what would Graves character sheet look like? Class, race, backstory, spells, weapons, etc.

6. why is last name Graves? Is it his mother’s last name? Does like 7-11 call him Phillip A. Grave when pissed or something?(i definitely need to dig into the gas station man)

7. What is relationship with Laswell? And maybe if you’re feeling extra extra dangerous, maybe say what you picture Laswell’s wife to look like.

8. Also how old do you think Graves is? He can easily be seen as like 25-41. Or how old you think he is in your Au?

I know I am definitely asking some pretty deepish questions when it comes to your Au, but I like to learn. I especially like to learn about characters. And since your interpretation of Graves’ is currently scratching the itch I am internally inclined to ask these questions.

Stay safe!

Okaay here i gooo

1. I rly believe that tank was an unmanned vehicle that Graves controlled remotely while Soap ran around frantically XD hurling insults and a Shadow thumping him on the shoulder when he got carried away.

2. The only canon a peel off of mw3 and slap onto the Shadowdadler verse is that Makky is at large and Graves flew off into the sunset|

3. It depends on how he found out. If Graves knew what his father did at an early age, it’s be less of a shock. If Adler was honest about why a masked man was lurking somewhere nearby, told his son that he hurt one person for the sake of millions, it’d be better than if he tried to hide his actions. It wouldn’t surprise me if adult Graves grew to have a similar mentality as his father.

4. Game night’s full of multiplayer games (snash bros, mario party, MvC, etc). There’s a DnD session off to a corner. Ruined jenga towers litter the floor. A circle if Shadows play charades. Monopoly is DEFINITELY banned, too many fights break out. Any high shakes gambling on card games is also prohibited (there Shadows who are talented at card counting and sleight of hand). Any and all genres of movies are watches, with the exception of the Star Wars sequels. Those are unanimously banned.

5. I’d die if Graves was still the leader of a mercenary group but classed as a bard XD high charisma definitely. Still human. Idk enough about DnD as a whole to say what spells he’s gonna use but I like ghe idea of him boosting his part members that do the fighting

6. Ok so in one of my Dadler comics, Adler fights off and kills enemy agents that wanna target him and lil Phillip. He buries them in their backyard. Phillip learns one day that there are dead bodies there. Learns that they had to die for him to keep living. He’s looking at graves. The memory would stick with him. Lol 7-11 calls Graves Sir when the commanders being stubborn ir reckless 🤣 (funny, the Lt. can be just as stubborn and reckless)

7. Oh! I like her and the role she plays. I liked the sneaky sneaky part she had~ Her wife? I picture her a bit taller than Laswell. She’d be a brunette, soft featured, a bit tanned, down to earth and honest about her thoughts and feelings, something Laswell appreciates as someone used to subterfuge.

8. I got Graves at a solid 40. A tiny bit seasoned to be out in the field, but still young enough to be effective. He ages gracefully 🥰 hehehe

[im-out-of-it]

season 2, episode 14 discussion list “the fair folk”

Jace playing the piano and Sebastian thinking hmmmm I could do that as well

2. I love show Sebastian because you end up feeling a little bad for him. he was sent to Hell for something he didn’t have control over- valentine wanted a demon son so that’s what he got. and jace got 10 years with valentine while everything Jonathan did was never enough for valentine. I still think he’s insane but it’s easier to be sympathetic with him vs book Sebastian/Jonathan. and if he wasn’t so hot, we would probably hate him. Valentine was cruel to both of them but he’s always favored jace more. Jace got to live with the lightwoods while Jonathan got to live in Hell

3. Sebastian looking at jace like at least he was proud of you lmao

4. yeah, jace makes it very obvious that he does. wouldn’t it be wild though if you knew someone was related to someone else and they still had feelings for each other and then you found out they weren’t related but they still wanted to date- that would be so wild. I really don’t care if they didn’t know they weren’t related. they thought they were and still actively had feelings for each other. at least the show isn’t as heavy on the incest as CC is

5. I forgot this one for the last episode

6. “why would you say that?” BRO FUCKING EVERYONE KNOWS

7. LOOK AT ALEC BEING A FUCKING FINE HEAD OF THE NEW YORK INSTITUTE I TRUST HIM THATS MY LEADER

8. I love seeing Alec taking charge. and you know it’s been quite the journey for him. I made a few mentions on the last episode how Alec never thought this was possible. it’s been a dream of his parents but Alec has also been working for this for his whole life. he didn’t think it would be possible to be openly gay and in love while also being a leader of his institute and now look at him, taking charge

hosting cabinet meetings, protecting downworld and mundanes- that’s what a good leader does. not systematically torment downworlders and hunt them down all because they have some demon blood

9. so shadowhunters are all okay with “unity” as long as downworlders aren’t in their proximity

10. Izzy always having her brothers back

11. and what’s funny is Alec was literally in charge for the duration of the show. so they’re all a okay with protecting downworlders as long as they don’t have to be near them and they don’t actually have to put any effort in. that shut them up real fucking quick.

12. Izzy: watch who you are speaking about. it reminds me of in season three when Lorenzo thinks he can treat Alec any way he can and Alec reminds Lorenzo who he is and what position he has

13. and just because Alec finally is leader, doesn’t mean it’ll be a smooth transition for him. there are still many homophobic and racist shadowhunters out there who prefer the old leadership like aldertree, imogen, jace for a day. they aren’t ready for actual change because they don’t want it

14. “what do you expect? he’s dating a warlock” no it’s because Alec is a good person who doesn’t see downworlders are inferior and treats them as human beings as they are. (well some of them.) literally these type of shadowhunters think it’s okay to treat downworlders as if their lives don’t matter. what’s even more funny is they are shit talking Alec next to his sister lmaooo do y’all have eyes?????

15. this is why I think an AU episode would be interesting. (I’m sorry I just miss AU Magnus and Alec) because shadowhunters don’t understand how it feels to be on the other side. they all have power and could get away with killing and tormenting downworlders because the clave will see it as acceptable since downworlders have demon blood. honestly I haven’t seen a terrible downworlder (I can only think of Heidi and Jordan)

16. I just want the shadowhunters to actually atone and be held responsible. they need to know how it feels to be on the other side for once. they’re terrified of someone like Alec to be in charge because they know they’ll be real change

stopping at 17 for now and will pick up later ✨

[yncel]

ENTRY 01

Sigh, I don't even know where to begin with this one.. here goes nothing.

So as it turns out, whenever you feel as though life can't get any worse.. I promise you, it surely can and will. If there's anything that I've learnt in the past week, it would be that my life has just thrown another curveball at me and now not only am I worn out, heartbroken and exhausted, I am also.. riddled with fear. And this journal is to document what I'm going through lest something bad happens to me.

Alot has happened in the past month. I gathered up the courage to FINALLY leave hoon Sunghoon, my now ex-boyfriend, and our incredibly toxic relationship after I found explicit text messages he'd send to his co-worker. I didn't confront him about it because I knew he'd somehow find a way to pin the blame on me and wouldn't let me leave. And so I fled. To another city.

I sighed a breath of relief during the 8 hour drive to Busan, knowing that I wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. I had blocked him everywhere whilst also strictly instructing my friends and family to not tell him about my whereabouts. It finally dawned on me that I had been wasting my time and my youth on this snake of a man.

And so I started integrating back into society, making new friends, going out and having fun. Things he'd never let me do and beat me out of doing. I was finally LIVING... but that didn't last too long. It was just the calm before the storm.

I should've known. I should've known as a person who always had an eye on her at all times, to finally find freedom out of nowhere so easily.. it had to have been a spoof. Like a rabbit who so conveniently finds a carrot tied to a stick.

It started with the roses. Found them leaning on my apartment door when I came back home one evening. Thought they were meant for someone else at first but upon closer inspection, the glistening metal reflecting the hallway light couldn't be mistaken for something else. My promise ring that I had left on his dining table, neatly tucked in between the red.

I knew it was over then and there, the sporadic beating of my heart felt as though it would explode any second. But I don't want to give up, I had just tasted freedom in 4 years and I can't imagine myself going back to that hellhole. Even if I did, who is to say that he will not just kill me?? I've known him for so long, it wouldn't be uncharacteristic of him to hurt me out of his rage. He's already done it so many times, who's to say that this will be any different? And I know this time I've made him more angry than he's ever been in his entire life. And if I'm going to get hurt anyway, I'd rather put up a fight.

I contacted the police and they didn't make anything out of it but needless to say, I wasn't surprised. I asked my friends if they had ratted me out to him and they vehemently denied it. I deleted all of my socials and changed my phone number. I've changed the way I dress and I'm starting to avoid going out unless it's absolutely necessary. I don't know how long I can survive like this, especially since this hasn't deterred sunghoon in the slightest.

I see him everywhere and I just have to pretend that I don't. The car behind me in the drive through. The person standing in the middle of the park lot. The hooded figure that bumped into me in the seven eleven. I sometimes catch a whiff of his scent in the corridors as if he's just been there. He's playing with me like a predatory cat upon a mouse and I'm totally helpless.

The ticking of the clock reminds me of his lack of patience. How long until he stops finding this entertaining and decides to just pounce? It's no longer a matter of "if" but of "when" and when he does, I want you to know that I didn't just dissappear. And I want to make sure that he won't be able to hurt any other person the way he did me.

I've started to count down the days.

[quibbs126]

(Sorry if you already did this)

Could you do a dark choco x caramel arrow fankid? It’s a rare pair but I love it:DDD

(also I love your art)

For all the people who requested this, here you are, this kid is Caramel Fudge Cookie. He was actually a bit up in my requests, but since so many people were asking I thought might as well do him early. I’ve been skipping around a bit

Now, for the name, I know there’s definitely a bunch of things with chocolate and caramel around, I just had to find something that was just called “chocolate caramel”. The original name I was going to go with is something with syrup, since I know both chocolate and caramel can be made into syrup, but I didn’t end up going with that, since he didn’t give me that vibe. Now, what he reminded me of were brownies topped with caramel, along with marshmallows and maybe some graham crackers as well (my family’s made those before, they’re delicious and now I’m hungry). Well the marshmallows and graham crackers make it a s’more, but the chocolate brownies with caramel are called turtle brownies. So, I named him Turtle Fudge Cookie (the “fudge” part isn’t part of the food name, but I didn’t think Turtle Brownie worked as well, so I just put it in instead. Also there is turtle fudge, but I was thinking of the brownies). I was also debating changing it to Caramel Fudge, since I thought the “turtle” part didn’t fit, but after asking my friend she says turtle sounds better, so I’m going with Turtle Fudge

Turtle brownie/turtle fudge:

I really want brownies now

Anyways, on to his design, I think he looks cute, but also I worry he looks too much like a mini Caramel Arrow and not enough like Dark Choco. Maybe it shows more when he gets older. Currently he’s like 8. He also originally had black eyes like her, but I wanted to change it to look more like him. Purple eyes like his grandfather was also an option, but my friend told me the red eyes looked better

So on to him himself, so he’s determined to become a Watcher and is basically starting early, since he lives in the Citadel. He’s always trying to train, he goes around telling people when their shifts change (he knows when they do, he’s not making up times to change), and he’ll spend hours (or at least he’ll try to, he’ll usually end up falling asleep) looking atop the wall for any sort of threat. Thing is, he’s a little kid and basically just looks like a tiny Caramel Arrow, so everyone just finds him adorable. He’s so sincere in his efforts that no one can bring themselves to be annoyed or mad with him.

I gave him a spear just because those are another weapon in the kingdom and I wanted to give him something different from his parents. He does know how to use a bow though, he’s just not the best at it

Oh yeah, another thing I was going to draw as a sketch but forgot to, I had an idea that he might have some weird connection to the Licorice Sea. Like, he can’t help but stare out at it, almost thinking something in there is calling to him. Not sure if I’m keeping that or it just stays an early concept

Another potential plot point is that he comes across Affogato Cookie sneaking into the Citadel, not knowing who he is, only that he’s trespassing. Affogato sees him and immediately thinks “is that a tiny Caramel Arrow??”. Upon asking if he’s related, Affogato learns that this kid is the son of Caramel Arrow Cookie and Dark Choco Cookie, which by extension also makes him Dark Cacao’s grandson. Realizing he has an opportunity for revenge against the people who screwed him over, he kidnaps Turtle Fudge. How successful he is (he escapes with Turtle Fudge, I mean how long before he’s found or even if he’s found) and what that revenge entails I’m not sure. But there is a possible scenario where Turtle Fudge grows up to be a loyal servant to Affogato, either not knowing his parents or thinking they abandoned him, probably due to brainwashing on Affogato’s account. If anyone wants to do anything with this concept, feel free

But yeah, I think that’s about it for Turtle Fudge. I’ll be honest, I feel like I focused more on the Carrow side of him and basically nothing about Dark Choco. I’m half debating whether or not Dark Choco is even there, or if this is an alternate universe where they had the kid before Dark Choco got banished, meaning Turtle Fudge just has his mother. I’d like him to be there, but it feels like how I wrote him Dark Choco either isn’t there or is just in the background

But anyways yeah, hope you like him!

Edit: I just realized the second one asked me what I think of the ship. I mean, I get the ship, but personally I like to see Dark Choco and Caramel Arrow as having a sibling relationship, so it just doesn’t work out for me personally

Also I am just now realizing the second person might have been asking me to draw Dark Choco and Caramel Arrow and not a fankid. Sorry about that, I’ve seen so many of these that if you give me a two characters and ask about a ship I’m probably going to think you’re asking me to make a fankid