#also he's gay so is that even allowed in the uk?

[beelxebub]

i totally get why people make the captain a military man or ex-military in modern AUs because it makes sense but i personally believe he would simply be one of those middle aged autistic men whose special interest is wwii military vehicles

[s0fter-sin]

through the virtue of training an ever revolving door of rookies, price recognises pretty much every ailment the human body can come across

he’s seen every illness, every delayed puberty spike and weird rash and he can and will kick your ass to medical for your “i swear it’s just a cold sore”

it’s not even a parental thing, it’s the pure exhaustion of being an adult in charge of a bunch of basically children who’ve never been away from mummy this long before and he’s sick of talking a bunch of cherries through UTIs and the clap

[bloodpxct]

TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN AND TRANS MEN ARE MEN.

If you are in any way shape or form transphobic I suggest you leave my blog immediately, if you follow me, unfollow me and if you are my mutual please un-mutual me.

Trans people have existed since the dawn of time, you can not change or erase that. You never will. Just because you make laws to oppress them, it does not mean you will get rid of their existence like you hope. The idea of this being a right step for lesbians and women disgusts me. I myself am a gender non-confirming lesbian and I feel disgusted with the UK right now: This law in the UK that has passed will not protect lesbians or cis women. If you do not fit their standard of what is a ‘ woman ‘ you are also in danger.

There is no feminism without trans women, you say you wish for women's freedom and then reduce yourself to biology- the very thing we have been fighting for centuries, as men have used it to oppress us, reduced us down to nothing more than a personal child factory, that our only purpose is to have children.

These arguments are not only harmful for trans people; there are many cis women who can’t have children, who don’t have periods and many other things. Does that make them ‘ less ‘ womanly? No.

Trans people have existed and will continue to exist and nothing shall ever erase that; you will never erase queer people no matter how much you try, we shall always come back to ourselves and find community within each other.

The whole arguments of if polyamorous people, or non-binary people or he/him lesbians are valid is becoming pathetic, because they will oppress you either way; do not cater to the homophobes and transphobes who misdirect you anger at queer identities you can’t understand. Because when it comes down to it, they want us all dead and erased from history - there is no more ‘ valid ‘ form of queerness to them. They will oppress us ALL.

Because when it truly comes to it? They will not care if you're a gay person who hates other queer people, who invalidates the trans community and other identities that aren’t your own. They. Will. Come. For. Everyone. It will not matter in the long run; stand with your fellow queers and stop catering to the homophobes and transphobes causing hate in our own community: it will get us nowhere but a path of more oppression.

FANDOM RESPONSIBILITY :

And now let’s address the issue of J.K Rowling herself. J.K Rowling has funded this law in the UK to pass. She has enabled this to happen.

Do NOT give your money to this woman because this is where it goes; do not buy merch, do not buy the books unless second-hand if you must read them at all at this point, Do not watch the movies- watch them on DVD or pirate them if you want to watch them so badly, do not go to the studios tour in London and most definitely do not watch the re-boot.

The question of if we are allowed to engage in this fandom anymore at all is a hard one. Many have said they feel guilty for even being in the fandom, and I feel that same guilt, especially much more after recent events.

The argument is that by interacting with the fandom we promote her works; which we do, by consuming her content, even if we do not give her money. It would be ignorant to say that we don’t when we do. If you are going to stay in the fandom we MUST accept the guilt that comes with this. Harry Potter is too big to become irrelevant, there will ALWAYS be someone who does not care and gives her money unfortunately, however if anyone decides to stay in this fandom we can at least not give money to her and spread resources to help the trans community. We also must accept that people will be angry at people who decide to stay; which they have every right to be. People are allowed to be upset at people for staying in the fandom, because this is so much bigger now than just hurtful tweets.

Other people argue that taking back this space is the most anti-Rowling thing we can do. I do believe this, to an extent. However that was before she caused such huge harm by this law. I think that this is a problem bigger than you or me or anyone in the fandom.

People will make head-canons of queer characters, transgender characters and say ‘ fuck you Rowling ‘ but in all honesty? If there are no actions taken, it is performative. Find protests, protect any trans people you may know, donate to charities ect. ( for people who are able to do these things obviously, if you haven’t the money to donate or ability to attend protests you can also share resources! )

These talks are uncomfortable, yes, but it truly does not matter at this point. We NEED to talk about these things, not be performative and say ‘ fuck Rowling ‘ and think head-canoning a character as queer is enough, because it isn’t.

Harry Potter is much bigger than people realize; there is not a single person who has not at least heard of it, trying to make it irrelevant will not work, it is physically impossible and is far too late for it. However we can not give Rowling money ( which you shouldn’t have been doing anyway ) but I hope that whoever stays in the fandom and buys merch, that this is a wake up call for them because this is where your money is going.

Engaging in fandom does not directly fund her, HOWEVER! HOWEVER. It does promote Harry Potter ( even if it is not financially ) and we can not deny this. It would be extremely harmful to deny it in fact. However, engaging in things that give her no money ( fanfiction, fanworks, fan-art ect. ) is much less harmful than buying merchandise and giving her money. However- we also must be ever so mindful that people will still be upset and angry if you engage, and they have every right to be.

RESOURCES TO HELP :

here are some links that can help trans people in their times of need; even if you can't donate or attend protests share the links!

trans petition

funds for transfem causes

a charity to help homeless lgbtq members

the trevor project

petition to overturn the UK goverments new definition

FOR PEOPLE IN THE UK! List of trans protests

I have not spoken out sooner as honestly, I needed some time. I needed time to articulate and to get my message across and also time to recover from the shock and hurt of this entire situation, and for that I am sorry, I should have spoken out sooner, however I needed time as it is incredibly upsetting. I hope everyone who reads this well wishes and safety, and to my dear trans people, you are so loved, even if it does not feel like it. There will be time, there will be hope, they can not erase you. Please keep living, even if out of spite <3

[seaglassquotes]

You can't separate the art from the author. You can't. Those biases will always be found within the text and subtext of a work. But when we talk about separating the art from the author especially with things like JK Rowling I think it's really important to address the ways that just writing off an author or a work completely and never touching it actually harms people's acquisition of critical reading and thinking skills.

Let's say that instead of talking about Harry Potter we're talking about Huckleberry Fin, or Tom Sawyer, or The Lord Of The Flies. These are works that we have decided as a culture are important to teach to our children. And we teach them through the lens they were written through. When teaching teenagers about these classic works we don't say "Mark Twain had these problematic beliefs and so we're never going to finish this book" instead we say "Mark Twain had these problematic beliefs. Let's pick through the ways they affect the story and the text. Show me the bias he is presenting here. Let's look at the multiple potential meanings of this work while I guide you to the ones that are more in line with the morals I believe you should pull from it and allow you to find the morals you will take into your life with you." With Lord Of The Flies we don't say "this is a bad book with biases so we shouldn't read it" we teach kids "This person felt this way about how girls and boys interact and that's outdated information and also just his personal opinion but on a deeper layer Let's look at how that affects the story and what he is trying to say about human nature and society. Do we think he's wrong? Do we think he's right? Do we think humans are inherently violent like he does?" That is how we teach children and teenagers and even adults to sift through information and come to their own conclusions. This is how we teach people to think for themselves and identify bias in writing. Ultimately this is how you train your brain to form its own opinions.

So let's talk about Harry potter and JK Rowling. JK Rowling has beliefs that are truly detrimental to herself to society and to progression of freedom world wide but especially in the UK. That's horrible. There is no excuse for the way that she feels about things. And it is evident in her writing. I have only read the Harry Potter series by her but off the top of my head I can list several things I know are in her writing that I don't agree with. Here's my basic list (I will definitely have missed things):

• Centaurs are described with characteristics similar to native Americans. Theya re then presented as being violent, unpredictable, and a danger to women and children.

• Goblins are extreme caricature stereotypes of Jewish people who are then presented as being selfish, money driven, unpredictable, egocentric, secretive, and arrogant.

• The stairs to the girls dormitories do not allow boys in. Which not only trampled the ide of Trans or nonbinary students but also screams "boys can't be assaulted by girls"

• House elves. I don't feel like i really need to expand on this one. We all know...

• The way fleur is treated in the books is gross. The feminist "icons" of the series are incredibly mean to her simply because she is pretty and talented. It creates and underlying agression toward successful women for being pretty and successful.

• Lycanthropy should have been left alone no one needed that essay on how it's actually an allegory for Aids which then frames Greyback as an adult gay man preying on young children (Remus is 4 years old canonically when Greyback breaks into his bedroom and attacks him. Disgusting with a new lgbt connotation) also the treatment of lycanthropy in the books shows a clear misunderstanding of the actual impact of the Aids epidemic on the lgbt community.

Like I said, just to name a few. Now despite all of these things I truly love the story. You cannot remove these beliefs from it. But I would argue that rather than completely writing it off it's actually very important that we read the books through the lens of knowing these beliefs. That we point them out, pick them apart, show the ways they affect the writing. Point out the ways that those beliefs are wrong and harmful. Just as we would with any classic work. There are valuable lessons in Harry Potter. Ultimately it is a story about found family and love conquering all. It is a story of bravery and hope for a better more accepting world where you are not defined based on your blood status, physical characteristics you can't control, and traumas of your past. This is why in its way day Harry Potter was so popular with LGBT and "alternative" kids. It is important that we guide that understanding of the books through the lens of understanding the author doesn't feel that way.

When we completely write off the books and remove them from our lives, our children's lives, ridicule people for reading and enjoying them we actually remove an opportunity to develop better critical thinking and reading skills. We remove an opportunity to teach or practice bias identification in writing. But most of all we remove people's ability to come to their own conclusions about the true moral of the story.

[read-write-thrive]

I have been craving some regency romance and somehow theres only 2 fics that even come up under dbda regency on ao3 so here’s some thoughts (that may become a fic in the distant future but I don’t have the brain for it right this second)

I’m a bitch for historical accuracy so cw for that right out of the gate this will not be as neat and tidy as a certain popular book series/other Netflix show

Let’s go character by character shall we

Edwin to start

Theoretically that is a posh white boy with more book smarts than ppl skills but nothing too damning on that front so he’s an easy transplant

HOWEVER

If you take the gay thing into account

(And I could and have written multiple essays on the nuances of queerness in historical contexts)

THEN things can get interesting

Edwin’s demonic sacrifice at an all boys school at the hands of a jealous popular boy becomes a bit more metaphorical

In my head theres some awakening between the schoolboys but good ol internalised homophobia fucks everything up

Could have Sa’al even be an authority figure within the school if you want to get even more traumatic with it

Regardless Edwin’s stay in hell translates to a societal fall from grace / disownment / what have you

Would give some room to mess with class and societal norms at the time

And while I love the idea of Edwin participating in the tail end of the Molly house culture

(Especially gnc Edwin,,,,,,, thoughts are being thunk)

That does rob our story of any classic balls and dance scenes and such

That’ll be our first fork in the road I think: is Edwin still in the upper echelon at the time the story begins ?

If yes, cue Darcy’s theme. If not, Edwin should get to be an early drag queen

(Side note but if thinking later than regency I’d love to write a payneland as Fanny&Stella moment, could even have some ghostcrow or ghostcat,,,, again much to think about)

Take a shot for our first “they could be a sex worker” point

There will be more

I think I’ll leave Edwin there

Now for the rest of the main four let me repeat that I’m sticking with history a bit here

Bc imo race has to play a major factor in their backstories/characterizations

So if we move onto Charles next

White dad and Indian mum wouldn’t be completely unheard of esp putting his dad in a military context

(And lbr military snd abusers go hand in hand)

It’s a little early in the colonisation of India for his dad to have taken his mum as his wife officially and brought her back to the UK

But it would definitely have been possible

With this in mind Charles becomes a bit variable in terms of class status

His dad could be high ranking military or even a successful merchant which would grant Charles some inheritance and a bit of a boost

But Charles would never have been allowed at the same school as Edwin in this kind of thing

Could also put Rowland sr further down the chain of command and as such keep Charles low on the ladder

Regardless, Charles probably would’ve been expected to follow in his father’s footsteps in terms of profession and overall societal role

However once again we can translate death trauma to life trauma

Maybe his peers did make an attempt on his life that left him disabled in some fashion

Maybe his dickhead father would’ve gone further and end up injuring and/or disowning Charles as well

And while Charles ending up in a poorhouse is definitely possible

I am once again proposing sex work

(He’s too pretty for manual labour and I could see him being handy with pickpocketing while he’s at it)

(This also ties back to a Fanny&Stella-inspired AU but in a more Jack Dublin way ykwim)

But yeah shot #2 for pretty boy Charles

Moving onto Crystal

Arguably she has the most variation in backstory available of the bunch

Is she American? Is she legitimate? How rich is she/are her parents? Are her parents still an interracial couple? How far back are her African ancestors? Is she meant to inherit? Does she have siblings? Exactly how rich are her parents? How did they get that money? Etc etc etc

So many possibilities to work with

If you want her to run in the same circles as not-fallen Edwin you kinda have to put her as an illegitimate kid of someone without enough money to recognise her anyway yk

Two Black parents just wouldn’t have that kind of capital/status at the time

Putting her in that kind of position (aka precarious and v difficult socially) does lead to some interesting questions as to who she can interact with, when, what she’s expected to do with her life, etc

Lavender marriage Edwin and Crystal could be fun now that I’m thinking abt it….she’s rich enough that Edwin’s family has to go with it and Crystal actually gets some social currency…….

Tho god the societal prejudice she’d have to deal with in pretty much all of these options would be brutal fs

Lastly for this post: Niko my beloved

Shes probably the hardest to work with considering Japan’s isolationist policies and yk distance from the UK

I assume there had to have been exceptions to this but go do it hard to find discussion of any (I’m also working with a single braincell rn so bear with me)

I really don’t know how to resolve her as a historical mystery beyond like her relatives having left Japan either centuries earlier or secretly smuggled themselves/her out like two seconds ago

All interesting but idk enough to speak on them much unfortunately

See again the point on prejudice: not to say the boys would have a walk in the park but the girls would be treated awfully 110%

on that cheery note I’m going to try and sleep love you all hope you enjoyed feel free to riff on this hugs kisses

[smytherines]

I often wonder if I would feel differently about The Staircase Scene if I had seen SAF when it first came out in 2016. The first time I saw it was probably around October or November of 2023, and like... the context is different now.

Whatever we want to say about the personal story arcs of these characters (and I know I'm in a tiny minority because, for me, killing Owen does not constitute a satisfying close to Curt's arc, that's totally fine), there is the very real issue of the sociopolitical context that this scene takes place within- both in their time (1961) and in ours.

One very cool thing about SAF is that, in order to understand these characters better, a lot of younger queer folks end up learning about the Lavender Scare, about Executive Order 10450- which officially prohibited gay people from working for the US government- for the first time. That's an incredible, precious thing to me. Yay queer history! It's important!

The show itself never addresses the fact that both the US and UK governments had very public, very brutal campaigns equating homosexuality with communism with being a traitor to your country. But if you want to understand these characters, and especially write fanfiction, you're really incentivized to teach yourself some fundamentally important aspects of queer history.

In the 54 Below concert, before singing Not So Bad, Brian Rosenthal talks about how when they were developing the show they thought N@zis were more or less a thing of the past, that they're fully aware of how differently that song might be taken now after an escalation into a more open embrace of fascism in the US. And they're absolutely right about that.

But I think that's also perhaps an issue with the staircase scene, or at least it is for me. Obviously homophobia and transphobia were not "fixed" in 2016, they were still massive problems resulting in violence and discrimination and brutality. But institutionally, at least, you could look at the situation and point to some things that were gradually getting better.

In 2016 trans youth in my state were legally allowed to receive gender affirming care. In 2024, they are not. It's not that homophobia and transphobia went away and then came back, but there was a very real resurgence of the use of the media and of governmental power to inflict pain on queer & trans people and chase them out of public life- bathroom bans, gender affirming care bans, Don't Say Gay laws, trying to make drag illegal, equating queer and trans people with pedophilia. There has been a big cultural shift back towards the same kind of violent governmental moral panic that our beloved Curt & Owen would have lived under.

Whatever we want to say about these characters and this story (and there's tons of fascinating debate there), there is still the base of a gay man killing his ex-lover ostensibly to protect US foreign policy objectives. Killing the man he loves- or loved, at least- to protect the secret that he is gay. And that hits different for me now.

I watch that scene and it is heartbreaking on a personal level, but its also heartbreaking as a queer person who just wants to scream "your government will destroy you for being gay, you don't owe them shit!"

Owen tries to explain that the surveillance network is happening, that the future won't wait for Curt to catch up. Barb has been saying she's working on the same thing for the US government the entire show, but Curt just kept ignoring her. And I just want to say "Curt, honey, what do you think your government is going to do to you with that surveillance system? Do you think you're useful enough to keep around even though you have sex with men? Because I promise you they will not care."

It feels tragic to me because on some level it seems like Curt would actually be safer with another gay man having control of all the world's secrets than he will be if the government he has dedicated his life to gets their hands on that same technology.

And the thing is, having a tragic ending doesn't make the show bad. This show is great. This scene is spectacular. It makes you think, it makes you feel things, it does all the stuff that great art is supposed to do. Absolutely none of what I'm saying here is meant to denigrate the show as a musical or a story or even a queer story. I hope it doesn't come off as me saying "actually this show is bad," because I don't feel that way at all.

Clearly I live and breathe this show. That's why I spend all my time on here analyzing every scene, every frame, every facial expression. I love this show so much that I can't help but deconstruct it and look at all its component parts- including the sociopolitical context both now and in 1961. Because that context, despite never being explicitly mentioned, is important to our understanding of these characters.

I love these characters so much that it's actually pretty difficult for me to watch A2P7 anymore, because the staircase scene is so emotionally devastating to me that it's hard to try to swing back into that more comedic tone (even though Spy Dance is a certified bop).

I'm not even sure what my point is with all of this, other than to say that Spies Are Forever is a show that is great and fun and funny as written/performed, and becomes gradually more emotionally devastating when you rewatch it or when you understand the subtext of it. When you can engage with the themes of gender and sexuality, surveillance and technology, trauma and trust, and tease out even more satisfying theories around this show.

So yeah. It's a musical. It's about spies.

[box-of-chaooos]

*taps a mic* dragon hunters though am I right?

Pls I’m drabbling into another lost media foreign show (least it’s foreign In the uk) with no fandom to be found anymore! 2004?! I wasn’t even born than. I knew the movie existed I watched it as a kid after my dad bought it home from cex one day in the kids section. Found it again recently and have discovered there’s a show! Needless to say my hyperfixation returned full swing and I’m going coocoo in the head.

Lian-chu and gwizdo are so gay for eachother but have NO idea? “Why haven’t I ever been in love?!” Because, gwizdo, you aren’t in love with ladies you don’t even know yourself that you’re gay. You think that ‘fraternal love’ for Lian-chu is simply that and of friendship but nu uh you love him. Same goes for Lian-chu. Such a shame that if they where ever to figure it out they’d be shunned due to the timeline. Oh well they’re rebells! Also trans gwizdo? Gimme.

You’re gonna look at that squeaky voices man with a tiny stature lil waist n round face and tell me “no you can’t headcannon that” oh yes I can and I intend too. Upon close detail he seems to have rounded hips tank you and I shall do as I please with that info!

Also they’re both autistic fuck you. Gwizdo probably has undiagnosed adhd too but we don’t talk about thaaat. Anyways I’m so mentally ill about them, they are so mentally ill. I love them sm I am gwizdo he is me and I’m gonna fixate till I drop.

But that’s just my two cents on the show n such.

Edit and a reminder in case this has upset anyone, these are MY headcannons you don’t have to agree with them. They are not real they aren’t show accurate but it’s my personal headcannon and opinion you don’t have to agree with me you are allowed to think of them as you please! :]

[postsforposting]

at the altar

previously i had thought there were only two weddings: the van and the reactor. however. there are four weddings and a funeral. because finding true love is hard, and the support of "friends" is essential. the movie has four "successful" weddings, one aborted wedding, and one funeral. the "successful" weddings all end in divorce. the funeral is for the partner of a gay man, but as this is during 1990s UK, they were not allowed to legally marry. it is explicitly said that they were "as a married couple". this funeral depicts "true love", but it's not "lasting" due to death. the one lasting, successful couple explicitly refuse to get married, and they are the only ones who have a family in the end.

the idea is that a "real wedding" cannot stand in for or replace real love and commitment. every single "real" wedding failed. in a line: beating out death--life after death--gives you forever, and no wedding gives you true love. in two senses: weddings literally don't replace love, and the lack of a wedding is defined as true love.

in dpw, there is no real wedding.

there is one failed funeral, in the reactor when everyone thinks they're dead. being joined in death is the only way to find forever; being joined in life is the only way to find love. to love forever, you must stand under god as one, reach forever by pledging yourselves "to death", and rise again together.

in biblical numerology, four represents stability and "freshness", aka "getting fresh" with each other in the sense of both insults and sex. insults, after all, get personal. character assassination is just a little ribbing joke between friends in this franchise. that's why there's four, and why they trade off roles.

wedding one:

in the movie Four Weddings and Funeral, there are actually five weddings held. the one that isn't counted as a "finished" wedding is where doubts were expressed during the ceremony that the groom loves someone else, and the bride dumps the groom at the altar.

wade dumps wolvie on the floor at paradox's altar after walking down the aisle with him.

paradox refuses to accept wade's proposal.

unlike in FWF, wade dumping wolvie wasn't about rejection. it was giving him a choice about whether he wanted to go through with this--to say "i do". he gets up and follows wade to "hell" of his own volition. for better and worse, right? they're joining at a low point because if you can't take him at his worst, you don't deserve to be his "best friend". this goes for deadpool and "worst" wolvie equally.

the "funeral" in this scene is paradox refusing to halt the death of the universe, insisting that everyone is going die eventually and there's nothing to be done about it. being sent to hell is also a literal death sentence, because no one is supposed to come back: it's forever.

this is an "aborted" wedding and a symbolic death, no funeral. wade pledged first but logan came right after.

wedding two:

the van. they make it to the altar, veil of seatbelts and all, but get driven away. they were dying to get there, too. what a shame.

a bower is both a wedding arch and a shady place under the trees. that's why they stop in the forest. they lay together, but not as one before the altar--no handholding here. they also didn't even get to the removal of the veil.

wedding three:

jumping into the marvel sparkle circle under the eyes of cassandra.

......jumping a "bundle of sticks" to a golden ring in the eyes of god.

while alioth, personification of death, is just a tick too late. not even the threat of death kept them from the altar. they weren't standing as one, together, though, so it's not a proper wedding.

in this one, logan wins the race: he falls first, and harder.

wedding four:

the reactor. down on their knees standing together under god: that's going to church. logan is the bride whose veil gets blown off.

it was supposed to be a funeral. paradox even gave them a eulogy. death did happen, and they thought it would last forever this time. but then they started a new life together, as one: marriage. they even said, repeatedly, "it should be me"-->"i want to be there for you"-->"i do". it could be read as both of them objecting that "you deserve better" while replying "but you're the one i want".

wade got to the altar first. even though it took logan longer to get there, he went at it harder.

this is the only wedding they got the whole way through, with all the necessary bits, and the only funeral. but it also wasn't a real wedding and the funeral didn't stick: that's how you get real forever love with four weddings and a funeral.

[livvy-fallen]

Do I have a right to talk about the American election as a english person? No. But at this point all we are doing is watching it burn and burn and the fire extinguishers are somewhere but here.

How the hell do people let a CONVICTED FELON become president. He wants to fuck his daughter and a felon?

I swear Hitler is blushing and giggling at watching this. I'm talking history for school no expert because yknow, school history but everyone in my class can see the early signs of a dictator in Trump. And pointed out by a few upperclassmen, similar signs Hitler had, then people ignored.

He actively wants to kick out immigrants. Now you may be thinking;"but he wants illegal immigrants ou-" *loud incorrect buzzer* he said 25 million (I believe could be wrong) there are not that many illegal immigrants there. If I'm right there's currently 13.3 mill in the USA. So where is the 11.7 million coming from? Unless he was was padding up the numbers witch, I guess we all do at times, exaggerate

Similar to a certain dictator im learning about both are against the gays. Well if project 2025 is anything to go about. Talking about that.

They want to control what is being taught in schools. "Woke" this would ,I imagine also include anything against their party. Because wanting to be on the not wanting controlling women's bodies, inforcing Christan nationalism and wanting a future Left if considered woke. Sounds familiar? Treachery Act of 1934. Witch allowed them to punish people who spoke out about the German Reich (Nazi).

The election voting was also very.... Strange, several voting ballots were destroyed, misplaced or out right bribed. Now if this happened in 2020? The Trump voters would be SCREAMING. Begging for a recount until everything is fine. But he won so why care about democracy? Even if he wasn't a horrible excuse or cum and an egg, it would still be right to redo the voting.

I have friends in America who could VERY well be in DANGER because of this. It's not just about my friends but everyone who this effects

But hey, I'm just a teenager in the UK who is an outsider, I'm not from you're country. My facts could be wrong. I'm not saying everything here is the Goispal and is true. Because I'm still a teen I don't understand most laws in the us. I could of got my figures wrong. But even if the rules were made with the purest PUREST intentions, so was article 48 in the Weimar constitution. Meant to led a damaged country during times of crisis so the president didn't have to wait for laws to be passed., then used by Hitler to get what he wants. I'm just saying.

[joeyclaire]

bandersnatch rewatch

taking place in 1984 uk could be an allusion to the book 1984, which is about government surveillance and has themes of rape, encountering one’s deepest fear, and thought crimes, and also takes place in the uk

the 1980s setting also implies negative cultural attitudes around homosexuality

stefan likely takes clomipramine, an ocd medication that used to come in orange and red capsules, but when i looked up side effects i couldn’t find anything that matched

camera angles in early scenes suggest stefan has already thought about killing his father pre canon (especially the way he eyes the ashtray, which he always uses to kill peter and the player doesn’t prompt him to use it)

what is the significance of the bandersnatch book originally belonging to stefan’s mother? perhaps it’s just to hint as early as possible towards her being dead, especially since she apparently never read it

i wonder if the glyph graffiti is there to imply others have had similar experiences or just to foreshadow? the davies case appears to be popular considering even thakur knows his story and a documentary and true crime book were made about it

colin condemns pre-rolled for having strychnine and then. takes lsd? which also sometimes has strychnine? dunno the significance of that but it’s definitely intentional

the colin games being named after metalhead and nosedive don’t appear to be alluding to the episodes for any particular reason other than being easter eggs, but black mirror does easter eggs relating to other episodes just for the sake of it a lot

this has been said but the first ending really is the closest to a happy ending. stefan is very young and brand new to game development and bandersnatch is his very first game; he would have had the opportunity to learn and grow from his failure if he was willing to take the bad review on the chin but since that ending is so unsatisfying the story refuses to allow that

the doors of perception, which thakur references and misattributes to timothy leary, is an autobiographical account of a drug trip and the insights experienced during the trip, foreshadowing the later lsd scene

timothy leary was a psychologist and author who advocated for psychedelics, more lsd scene foreshadowing

i’m defrostin mince :-)

“i think dad thought it was sissy” more gay coding

the rare stefan pov shots are often very shaky

looked up the other true crime books by the lives of jerome f davies, all appear to be made up

stefan’s house is shaped like the glyph

making plans for nigel is so on the nose

picking between the compulsions is why i’m so confident the player is a manifestation of his ocd

pax on the lsd is interesting, no idea what it’s meant to mean though?

colin has a poster for philip k dick’s ubik, a book with themes of cooperate espionage

if you have stefan jump a bus with A NEW CLEAN START drives past

peter appears to have a degree for neuropsychology? but i can’t read the second degree at all

parallels between stefan and his father/davies and his wife

not much to say on program and control route other than it seems to have the most foreshadowing out of all the endings

sex is almost always inherently violent on black mirror, which is why it makes sense that when haynes flirtatiously suggests they add “a little more action,” stefan attacks her (also cause he’s gay)

after chopping up the body stefan doesn’t leave it in his house forever, he hides it in a bag in the nearby woods, also stefan was arrested at 21 meaning two years after the events of the episode

the credits rolling in the pearl ending seems to imply it is the “true” ending (or most true)

[blbeloved]

GelBoys Ep 6 Musings

The feminist ethic of care, the sine qua non of BL that separates it from mainstream gay media, is conspicuous in Gel Boys by how the creators address its absence. It is absent in some (three) of the relationships, but it is very present in (two) others. Before a couple can become good lovers, this production suggests, they must first become good friends.

Women can relate to this current in the narrative well because they suffer this in their relationships with men all the time; men who they’re genuinely interested as people refuse to maintain close relationships of emotional intimacy with women if they won’t get the sexual payoff they prioritise more. In that sense this seam in the narrative is not about being gay rather but *Masculinity* not allowing men to be fully human by having their emotional repertoire restricted to a narrow range of potentials. This is harmful to men as well as women because, if we are to thrive in the emotional sphere, transactional relationships cannot be a human norm.

The provocative means by which GelBoys raises male sexual ethics, in all its simplicity and occasionally its complexity, is what makes each episode gripping. I’ve watched some adult BL reactors writhe in discomfort not just because we’ve all had these experiences as teenagers but because for many men this is still the painful and unfulfilling reality they live. GelBoys strikes us all in a visceral way.

The red/flag green flag discourse these provocations elicited among viewers may have been more useful if they weren’t misinterpreted by an excess of postmodernesque “every transgression is valid”. The subtle distinction being missed by many is not simplistically that we shouldn’t write-off young people as red flags while they’re still developing their characters, as too many mistakenly assert, but that its in the interest of young people that behaviours which are objectively red flags should not be minimised or go unchallenged regardless of age.  The urgency of this second more correct reading is obvious in the crisis of loneliness, alienation and emotional disconnection we can see adult males complaining of today. Bad habits formed in childhood and not broken early are extremely difficult to jettison in adulthood.

Good Relationships are Ends in Themselves:

In Ep6 we’re not only fully aware of Bua’s manipulating patterns but why. He wants and needs to be the centre of someone’s life and he is willing to use sex to do it. Again the narrative is pointing to how men use sex not just to get the relational intimacy they really crave but also to how sex is used as a substitute when they can’t get it.

We do not know definitively what Bua’s sexual orientation is but we do know he has a hole inside him that social media cannot compensate for, ie the basis of all love - care. As such Bua’s relationships with Chian, Moo and Baabin are means to an end, not ends in themselves. Bua’s relations with other boys so far cannot be considered to be motivated by care and therefore not love; they are not even reciprocal, just extractive. This inevitably frustrates and hurts everyone involved.

Similarly Fou4Mod didn’t need to introduce a sexual aspect to his relationship with Faifa. They already had a solid relationship, however Fou4Mod needs the peer validation he thinks only a sexual relationship can provide so he *uses* Faifa for that. Through this exploitative miscalculation he loses one of his most dependable and non-transactional relationships.

GelBoys Critique of Masculinity Norms:

GelBoys’ conveying of Baabin’s character returns the Uke to his rightful place as star of the BL Show, something that has been missing in dozens of recent Thai BL productions. Baa is the least conforming to the masculinity norm of not investing relationships with care. Baa is also straightforward with his opinions; speaks the truth sometimes gently, sometimes harshly; is faithful to his own feelings, and is empathetic to the emotional needs of others.

Hence, Baabin in their kissing scene, is characteristically honest to Bua saying the kiss is just a curiosity for him, not a declaration of romantic intent. Which is fine as the odd one-off because he’s a teenager and this is experimentation done with full disclosure, which Bua accepts without so much as a wrinkle.

The next morning Baabin makes the effort to hide his gel manicured toes so they won’t raise a problem when he’s alone with Fou4Mod because he’s ready to mend their estrangement and he’s conscious of F4M’s fragile emotional state. Baabin repeats his identical position in the 4-way zoom meeting – he’s not romantically interested in Bua.

How anyone could have seen the lead up to that kiss scene, listened to their dialogue afterwards which is congruent to both characters in the scene, and conclude that this was going to be a love match, I do not know. Perhaps this says how much our generation has become inured to sexual relations without any emotional element of care as an acceptable norm for men.

What’s up with Chian’s sudden 180 degree:

Similarly, Chian, a person who has had no romantic interest in F4M for 5 episodes but was happy to fool round with in case it is instrumental to spur Bua to get jealous and somehow return his affection, is in real time, suddenly ready to commit to F4M? Didn’t we just watch him despairing that his social media post isn’t even being viewed by his close “friends”?

Isn’t Chian also having a crisis of loneliness, defined by lack of social media attention - not lack of F4M, when he is motivated to act out of character by the realisation that F4M might be at a loose end? Should we not take Chian’s historical context as relevant to his real desires? Even Fou4Mod is shocked at this abrupt about turn.

No Love is Presented as a Transaction:

So far it’s been a game of schemes and transactions for Chian and Bua in the way they have dealt with each other as well as with Fou4Mod and then Baabin. Only the romantic affection of Fou4Mod for Chian, and that of Baabin for Fou4Mod seem to me to be sincere and demonstrate authentic care – Fou4Mod and Baabin pursue these relationships as important, meaningful and fulfilling in and of themselves. These motivations and actions are more likely to result in a love relationship - once they’re directed at the right target.

Now having said that, I don’t know where the writer will take things from here in the episode seven finale. Still I sincerely do not want to see a time-skip cop-out like IPYTM instead of a conflict resolution arc and a rebuilding of earned trust in the relationship first as friends, then - perhaps, as boyfriends.

Onto Ep 7…

[missholloween]

29 and 34 from the headcanon ask game for owen pretty please?

29. Quirks and personal habits

One of my favorite Owen-isms from the show is how he plays with his hair <3 The little comb he has in the reveal scene, how he takes off his hair from his face when Spies are forever (song) finishes... I like to think Owen prefers how he looks with longer hair even if it often gets in his way and ends up being annoying most of the time. Still, cutting it isn't an option, so it would lead to a slightly tedious and longer than he wishes hair routine. Curt often mocks him for it even though his would be longer and more tedious, but when they're short of time he'd lend Owen a hand with it.

As a whole though, I see Owen as someone with very strong routines and ways of doing things, and he wouldn't like changes to said routines. This applies to spying, with specific way of debriefing or a concrete order for his mission rundowns, but it would also apply to his day to day life. Curt and him would clash in their first meetings for this, as Curt would see his habits as annoying obsessions rather than something that keeps Owen anchored and help him clear his mind.

34. Feelings about themself

I don't think Owen thought much of who he was before meeting Curt. As someone whose childhood/adolescence was world war ii, who probably lost his family on said war if he had any link to them and then started working for the United Kingdom's secret service, I don't think Owen had a really strong identity.

I think he would start working for the UK's goverment really young, probably a teen spy during wwii or during its immediate aftermatch. This would provoke spying to be one of his core traits, but also an easy way to define himself. Owen would enjoy being a spy: as he said in the reveal, he has a spot on aim and an interest in foreing politics. But by being a spy, he could forget who he is suppose to be to become whoever is needed on a mission, be the hero the world needs. By being a spy he wouldn't have to care about how he's feeling or his interest in men, as those feelings could be burried by whichever identity he had to take that week.

All of that is, of course, until he meets Curt. Quoting Hadestown, when Owen fell, he fell in spite of himself in love with Curt. I think Owen would've had a couple flings now and again by the time he meets Curt, some on missions, others in a certain kind of bars, but he never would've felt something so intense, so... Sincere. During their relationship, Owen would notice that Curt is not only interested in the physical parts of intimacy, but also on the emotional side. Curt would try to see who's Owen beneath his different masks, and to Owen surprise, he would not know it.

Their relationship thus would allow Owen to not only discover who Owen Carvour is as a partner, but also who Owen Carvour is, not as a weapon for his country or an experienced actor, but as a person. I think this would scare him at first, reason why he would have avoided looking inwards at all. However, as their relationship grows stronger and he gets used to this "being a person" thing, Owen would like it. I don't see neither Curt or Owen as being the most romantic people ever, but they would do their best two gay spies in the 50s could do. After a while, Owen would get use to knowing what his feelings are or what he wants, being able to picture himself as something other than a spy. They would be mostly daydreams, thinking of retiring with Curt and both of them having a calm and quiet life. Curt would make sure of reminding him how impossible those dreams are, as he wouldn't be quite fond of the idea of stop being a spy. But Owen would take care of them... Until the fall, that is.

One of the (many) reasons I think Owen's motivations work so well is because when he falls, he loses absolutely everything. Yes, he loses Curt, probably the only thing he trully cared about, but he also loses spying, his profession, what he does. Curt betrays Owen by not going back and leaving him to die at the bottom of the staircase, but so does the MI6 by not rescuing him. Owen has nothing to cling back to after surviving, as everything he clinged to had abandoned him. The Deadliest Man Alive is the easiest way out: with Chimera he has a purpose, he can get his revenge against the system and the person that betrayed him, but he also can wear a mask to do his job.

The DMA mask is so interesting, as Owen literally becomes someone else, he gets a way to escape the hatred and anger he feels not only towards Curt or spying, but also towards himself. For opening up, for trusting someone as careless as Curt to take care of himself. I think after the fall Owen would like to be as far away from who he is as possible. The Owen we see in the reveal is someone very different of the person we see in a1p1 because of the fall, of course, but there's also a clear lack of sincerety on the way he acts during his monologue: it is theatric, it is dramatic, but it is also artificial. Owen probably hadn't shown his real face to anyone for months, maybe years, and he has forgotten how to play himself. Because he thinks that Owen Carvour really died at the bottom of those stairs all those years ago, and that whatever he is, the broken remains, the hatred, the anger, is something else.

However, in the last moments of his life, Owen discovers that his heart, as breaten and hurt as it was, had continued beating despite of himself. When Owen dies, he dies as the fool who still loved Curt Mega.

[lurkingshan]

Wedding Plan and the Evolution of MAME

I have a bit of a love/hate thing going on with MAME, one of the most notorious writers in the bl genre. Her shows have traditionally been a mixed bag of incredible chemistry, high heat, dubious consent, and pushy semes transgressing every boundary laid out for them, all of it built atop a foundation of heteronormativity and homophobic tropes. In the early years of bl, her shows were one of the only places you could go to see mature depictions of intimacy in relationships, but they also necessitated dodging through a landmine of problematic content. So my long standing policy has been to never watch her shows live and instead binge them when they’re done so that I can go in with some idea of what to expect. As someone who liked Love By Chance and TharnType for what they did well despite their problematic aspects, and actually kinda loved Love in the Air, I figured I would watch Wedding Plan at some point, but it wasn’t that high on my priority list. 

So imagine my surprise when people I trusted started telling me: hey wait, this is actually really good? Like, not good for MAME, but genuinely, legitimately a quality show. @bengiyo wrote a great post on the queer read of the story that was very intriguing indeed. @ginnymoonbeam wrote about seeing an authentic representation of her own experiences in the show. When I asked for others to weigh in, @negrowhat, @slayerkitty, @thegalwhorants, @nieves-de-sugui, @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle, and @magpie24601 all said they were enjoying it to various degrees and that it felt different from MAME’s previous works. So this weekend, I sat down to watch it, and as soon as I finished, I pinged @waitmyturtles, who had previously said she did not intend to watch any additional MAME shows, to tell her she had to add it to her project tracking the evolution of Thai bl. 

Because y’all, this show! This show is stunning, in more ways than one. The people and settings are gorgeous (shoutout to that McDonald’s money), the characters are compelling and sympathetic even when they behave in frustrating ways, the romance is properly swoony, the friendships are deep and touching, the family relationships are complex, and the ending is triumphant. I enjoyed it immensely, and I was taken aback by how genuinely rooted in queer experience and celebratory of queer love it felt. It was kind of a revelation, and I felt compelled to get down some thoughts about it. I’m going to break this down by narrative themes and characters so that I can dig into some of the tropes at play and what makes their deployment feel different here than it has in MAME’s previous shows.

The Core Premise

When I say this story feels authentically queer, this premise is the foundation of that. A lavender marriage is something that can only occur between queer characters. Right away, we are kicking MAME’s typical use of heteronormative tropes right out the door, because Lom already has a wife. Yiwa is his stand-in for the female partner his parents and society expect him to have, so Nuea cannot and will not fulfill that role. Instead, Lom’s pursuit of Nuea is explicitly about his desire to break away from those constraints and pursue the authentic queer life he has never been allowed to live, even if he has to do it undercover of this facade. Lom is gay, and he is pursuing a relationship with a gay man, and there is no coding here to make a heterosexual audience feel like what he wants with Nuea is the same as what he’d have with a woman. The difference, and the way one fulfills Lom while the other doesn’t, is the point.

Nuea

At first glance, our POV character, Nuea, feels like a stock MAME uke character. He is cute, he is a romantic, he is emotionally reactive, and he has a massive crush on Lom pretty much from jump. But pretty quickly, we start to notice some important differences between Nuea and those who came before him, starting with his competence and confidence. Nuea is the ace at his company and excellent at his work, and he’s financially comfortable. He is an out and confident gay man with a strong community of coworkers, friends, and family who will support him through anything and close ranks to protect him when needed. He does not share the standard characteristic of typical MAME ukes: uncertainty about who he is and/or low self-esteem. There’s simply not a whiff of that anywhere on Nuea. He knows who he is, and he knows what he wants. And as the story unfolds and Nuea gets deeper entangled with Lom, we recognize another crucial aspect of him: he is experienced, both emotionally and sexually. Nuea has been in relationships before, he knows how to say no, he knows how to draw a boundary, and he knows when he is deciding to cross one. In short, Nuea has something crucial that a lot of MAME ukes are lacking: power and agency. 

We see this throughout his relationship with Lom, as Nuea begins their flirtation eyes wide open about his own feelings and the fire he’s playing with, and alternately pulls back and pushes forward as his conscience wars with his desires. Nuea wants Lom. Their attraction is extremely mutual. No one is wearing anyone down or inspiring a sexuality crisis in this dynamic. Instead, Nuea’s struggle is rooted in his own morality and desire to be a good person, because he thinks Lom is taken, and he wants him anyway. Which is why we see him waffling so much and sending Lom all kinds of mixed signals, pushing him away with one hand while grabbing him back with the other, drawing boundaries only to step right back over them at the next opportunity. And when he finally crosses a boundary that he can’t rationalize (sex with Lom), he retreats back home to try to get his head together. It’s not an accident that despite Lom being in the active pursuer role, we see Nuea make a conscious decision to move forward and even be the one to initiate a relationship progression at several crucial points in the story. Nuea is making his own decisions here, and he has his own power over Lom that he exercises consistently. He’s warring with himself, not with Lom.

Lom

Lom is also, on the surface, a fairly standard MAME seme character. He wants Nuea, and he’s comfortable being pushy about it. He pursues Nuea fairly relentlessly, showing up in front of him even when he’s told not to, and leverages his role as Nuea’s client to see him as often as possible. He obsessively pines for Nuea in a way that also feels familiar. But for me, there is something that makes Lom stand out and feel markedly different from his predecessors in his romantic pursuit: sincerity and frank honesty. 

From the start, Lom is genuine in his interest in Nuea and sincere about how much he likes and admires him. He tells him in a very straightforward manner that he likes him and wants to spend time with him. He tells him he knows he doesn’t have the right, but he wants to kiss him and be near him anyway. He tells him exactly what he intends to do to stay close to him, and then he does it. He tells him honestly that he loves Yiwa, but not in the way Nuea thinks, and that he is not marrying her because he’s being forced. “But Shan,” I hear you yelling, “he did not tell him the most important truth!” And you’re right, he didn’t, at least not until he was forced to do so. Which brings me to the other thing that makes Lom so compelling: the constraints of the closet and his loyalty to Yiwa. 

Lom, unlike Nuea, does not have a supportive family or the freedom to live as an out gay man. What he does have is a best friend whom he loves deeply and completely, to the extent that he would sacrifice his own life and chance at happiness to protect hers. He has no choice but to hold some things back, because to lay it all bare would expose not only him, but her. The decision to tell a boy he likes the truth about the nature of their relationship is not just about him; anyone knowing is also a risk to Yiwa and the life she is building with Marine. And he takes his duty to protect that very seriously. On top of that, Lom has been in the closet since he was a teenager. We know that Lom and Yiwa connected over their queerness and their mothers’ bigotry when they were only 15 and 13, respectively. They grew up Knowing. That self-protective mindset is not something you can easily shake off, and not something you risk for any given person you develop a crush on. He is trying to walk a line in his pursuit of Nuea to snatch whatever happiness he can without blowing up his entire life. 

And to Lom’s credit, the moment he realizes how serious he is about Nuea, he goes after him (with Yiwa and Marine’s support), dutifully pays his penance and earns the respect of Nuea’s family, and finally unburdens himself, looking at Nuea with complete and total honesty and saying to him “This is who I am, this is my situation, can you deal with it? Do you still want me?” And by the way he sobs when Nuea says “YES” and asks to be part of his arrangement with Yiwa and Marine, he never expected for someone like Nuea to accept him and all the complications of his life. He was absolutely overcome by gratitude and relief, and you could see the burdens he’s been living under start to lighten. 

Yiwa and Marine

I don’t have anyone to compare Yiwa and Marine to, because to my recollection, they are the first significant female characters in any MAME story. And significant is an understatement. Yiwa is the engine that drives this entire story. The lavender marriage is her idea, because it’s the only way she can think to give herself the freedom to be with Marine under her mother’s watchful eye. She is the one who goes to her best friend and begs him to do this for her, because she trusts him absolutely and the devotion between them is complete enough that she knows he will sacrifice in such a monumental way for her. She is the one who encourages Lom to pursue his own happiness with Nuea within the constraints of their arrangement, hoping that he will find his own Marine that can hang in for this half life they’ve constructed to meet the tenets of filial piety. She is the one who ultimately decides to come clean when she sees how the lie is hurting Nuea. And she is the one who makes the final decision to prioritize her love over her obligations to her parents, and in doing so frees them all. 

The fact that a character like Yiwa exists in the bl genre at all, let alone in a MAME show, is mind-blowing to me. A female character with this much depth and narrative importance, who is not just here to play a cheerleader to men but instead to be a fully realized character with her own narrative? A female character who matters? In my Thai bl?? 

And Marine gets to matter, too. Marine, whose experience of coming into this relationship and accepting the limitations of the life Yiwa can offer her is treated with the utmost seriousness. Marine, who we see in joy and in struggle, who is kind and compassionate with Lom, who offers solace and guidance to Nuea, and who ultimately crumbles under the weight of Yiwa’s mother’s cruelty and reaches her breaking point. As minor as her role is, she feels like a real person, not a generic side character. The relationship between her and Yiwa is developed enough to make us feel invested in their happiness, to understand the choices they make, and to ultimately feel joy at them breaking free and living a more authentic life, even if it comes at the expense of Yiwa’s family bonds.

The Ending

Which brings me to the way this show ended its story, and how glorious it was. Yiwa and Marine run away to live on their own, freeing Lom from their agreement in the process. Yiwa takes full blame for the broken engagement, a parting gift to Lom that saves face for his parents and gives him cover to publicly dodge any further expectations for marriage to a woman. Lom’s mother, who is just as bigoted but not quite as stubborn and short-sighted as Yiwa’s mother, understands exactly what has happened, and reaches out to her son to assure him that she will no longer try to force the issue, and to ask him plainly not to run away from his family like Yiwa did. It’s not the support and love of Nuea’s family, but a kind of resigned acceptance that she offers. She knows who Nuea is to her son and she knows if she tries to intervene any further she will lose him for good. It was reminiscent for me of the dynamics between Shiro and his parents in Kinou nani tabeta—it still hurts, but it's a detente everyone can live with.

And Lom and Nuea? Have the freedom to love each other more openly. To flirt in a restaurant and hold hands in public. To live together and call themselves partners to the people who matter. We end on a message from Nuea about the beauty and joy of queer love, the simple nature of two people deciding to marry regardless of their gender, and a promise that someday soon he and Lom will be the ones to make that commitment. Just, perfection, and an earned resolution so rooted in a genuine queer experience. It’s not something I could have imagined seeing in a Thai bl even a few short years ago, and I am stunned that MAME is the one who delivered it. Her storytelling is clearly evolving with the culture around her, and I will be going into her future works with an open mind.

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

originally posted by the artist, the wonderful @lickboo and it is so beautiful and heart wrenching 🥹 ...made my heart ache.

It made me want to write down my thoughts about Harry, My Policeman and Harry&Louis.

Because watching this created trailer felt similar to how my heart aches whenever i watch old footage of them being reminded how they have to 'keep it down'. Obviously the theme of the film has an even heavier tone, with homosexuality being illegal and all the violence looming for men loving men, but it is my conviction that it's not a coincidence that Harry's (and Louis') life together and the novel's and then the subsequent film's plot overlap so heavily.

And let us not forget that when Harry tweeted "We don't need no piece of paper from the city hall." on September 28th, 2013 - a date on which they definitely did something huge with each other, something-akin-to-getting-engaged-or-married-, same sex marriage was still not even legal in the UK. More than 60 years after the period in which My Policeman takes place.

So let's not pretend that the history we are looking at was ever moving fast and that the struggle of being a member of the lgbtqai+ community only touched them lightly. It touched them heavily and it still does.

Harry chose and wanted his first ever lead debut to be THIS film.

He asked to be in it in early 2020. He only signed on to Don't Worry, Darling in September of the same year.

The director Michael Grandage said, quote: “The person who arrived was incredibly informed: he'd not just read the novel, at least once, he'd read the screenplay many times. I was sitting opposite somebody who was making a case for why they wanted to play Tom Burgess." and also "[...] the script had been distributed within his agency, and they knew what he was looking for in material. So they read this script and thought, This is actually the kind of thing he’s looking for."

(source)

(source)

I could spend hours marinating in these thoughts and they'd make my heart ache for every single minute.

Harry asked his first leading role to be in a film that is about two men who cross each other's paths and instantly feel drawn to each other; a film about two men falling for each other hard and in an environment where they're not allowed to publicly show their love, forced to hide and with seemingly no way out. (pun fully intended) A film that has the one guy constantly in a relationship with a woman he's not in love with, using her as a beard for his safety and feeling bad about it. A film that encapsulates so many emotions tied to having to hide your true heart away to keep each other safe. And the ending... oh my god, the ending.. I still can't write about it without tears filling my eyes, it's so hard-hitting. Honestly, Harry describes it best:

"Styles described his latest film as “devastating.”

“Ultimately to me, the whole story is about wasted time,” he said. “I think wasted time is the most devastating thing, because it’s the only thing we can’t control. It’s the one thing we can’t have back.”"

(source)

And I want to add, when in the same article it states he said: “So much of gay sex in film is two guys going at it, and it kind of removes the tenderness from it … [director Michael Grandage] wanted to show that it’s tender and loving and sensitive.”, he not just states that that were the director's thoughts and vision first and foremost (which he seems to agree with, though), but the main point is:

Harry has been viewed/portrayed through a hyper-sexualized, heteronormative lens since he was 16 years old. Gay sex in media is often heavily fetishized (an in-depth discussion around this is more than my spoon supply can provide today) and more importantly: gay love is almost always heavily sexualized, thus heavily fetishized; removing the three things that Harry highlighted as being very important for the film:

Gay love and gay sex are tender and loving and sensitive.

And it needs to be shown. Wanting to empathise on those things never meant that it's not okay to just want to watch "two guys going at it" (can imagine Harry and Louis enjoy that, too). It's just that the representation is still very imbalanced and Harry and the director recognize that.

To return to the main point that keeps me up at night: Harry wanted and chose to do a movie with this plot for several reasons that, in my opinion, go beyond representation (that is incredibly vital) and to be seen by the world as a gay man (that he is).

And to quote Louis: "That's incredible, Harry."

I think Harry read the novel/screenplay and found himself and Louis in it.

And I think that was a huge reason why he wanted to do this film as his first lead acting role.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

June 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Step By Step (Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - I really adore the family/household dynamics in this show. All the relationships between siblings are so well executed. All the tension and sub text and covert glances in the first “modeling” sequence was so good. I really want to watch the BL within this BL. Bruce is THE BEST. Jeng shutting down everyone with a cool few words is genius (especially given the curt sharp flat way he speaks Thai). Why does nobody have parasols or sun hats or sunshades or sunglasses or anything? I’m actually not mad about seeing an attempted reunion with the ex, bc we are getting to see both that (and how) they once were good together, and also the cracks that drove them apart (and will not allow them to ultimately be together a 2nd time around). I do feel sorry for Jeng, he moved too slowly and lost the 1st round. The captions were not good in the trunk seen, but trust me it was totally hilarious. 

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 10 - I finally figured out why I am so tense around this show. In openly taking to task and challenging the soulmates trope, this narrative is telling viewers not to trust it’s core trope - which means we cannot trust the main couple to end happily, nor can we trust those characters who believe most strongly in fated mates (Pat & Mai). This means I, personally, not only can’t rely on an HEA but (as someone who also does not believe in soulmates) I am not entirely sure I even WANT an HEA. This has NEVER happened to me before. It makes me uncomfortable because that’s a core part of my identify with these shows. I mean, good job La Pluie, but also.... huh. Back to this ep: Uh oh. The crush is obvious and the soulmate knows what’s up now. The sex scene twist was v interesting, v gay, and v unusual in a BL. Unfortunately it’s still a BL so the faen fatal just HAD to appear. Will there ever be one out of Thailand where this trope doesn’t show up? Next week is the tried & true uke damsels off into the woods alone. Sigh. 

Our Skyy 2 (Bad Buddy & 1k*) eps 12-16fin - Jimmy, baby, why so hot in an engineering smock? Please have mercy. Aw, Marc is back in yet ANOTHER BL. Definitely the current record holder for most BLs at any one time. (His filming schedule must’ve been insane at the beginning of this year!) PatPran are still great, and their eps this had me hooting with laughter (startling the cat). I forgot how much I enjoyed this show and cast. (Ohm looks great with longer hair, but also he’s lost a lot of weight. I hope he’s OK.) OhmNanon give pitch perfect LTR energy. Throwing EarthMix into the, erm, mix is fun if awkward. NO SINGING. 2 damsels in the forest! Also PatPran = geniuses at mock fighting. So much flirting. It was all quite adorbs. But me-thinks Chief & Tian have been eating moonlight chicken. Full review below. 

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 3 of 10? - was enjoying it up until the last bit, why so digusted by smooches? Bad GMMTV no green tea for you. Trash watch here! Rollercoaster about to go DOWWNNNN. 

Luminous Solution (Sat Gaga) ep 3 of 6 - I still only like the high school characters + Dome (WHY so gorgeous?). Is he a magical spirit too? Also, the subs were well off kilter. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 10 fin - God they’re so cute. This show used the manga as a storyboard, so I knew the “crisis of faith over possibility of loss” would happen. Still in live action this felt tonally off. While understandable given Yutaka’s character, and ultimately particularly important for the dad and a relationship with the family, I don’t know we needed it in this BL. The book does have a better ending second scene, but it wouldn’t be possible to do it on screen easily. Ultimately, this show had a simple, touching, quiet end to it. That’s very like the show as a whole. I did love it - it’s been top of my list all along. Full review after the special airs. 

Love Tractor (Korea Weds iQIYI) eps 1-2 of 8 - I LOVE IT SO MUCH. IT IS EVERYTHING. SHUT UP I AM FERRIL FOR THE BEAUTIFUL CITY BOY AND THE YOUNG FARMER. Come on. Korea. SRS? Plus some language play? I just go die now. 

Star Struck (Korea iQIYI & Gaga) ep 7-8 fin - Man this was a difficult show for me. I know we’re supposed to identify with HanJoon but I really felt for YooJae. I’ve been in his position more often than I care to count, and it’s terrible to lose a friend because they caught feelings and you did not. It’s an awful thing to hold a friendship hostage on condition of a romantic relationship. Especially if the other person is not sexually interested in you! All that said, the boyfriend ep was okay. Not sure I believed in this relationship, but it was cute enough. The final ep was (how do I put this?) a loser. We spent a lot of time with terrible home lives and then a semi happy for now final scene? Whatever. Full review below. 

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) ep 6 of 12 - somehow I keep missing this one, I’ll catch it next week. 

Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 9 of 12 - I think the Taiwanese boss is my favorite character. Japan rarely (if ever ) trots out the faen fatal trope. I mean I named it with a Thai word for a reason, it’s not from origin yaoi at all. Yet still there she is. Sigh. This show. 

Stupid Genius (Vietnam Fri YouTube) ep 1 of 6 - RL Studio (Stupid Boys Stupid Love) bringing us yet another high school set VBL. It’s actually not bad. I see a lot of common faces whom I’ve enjoyed in past VBLs. 

It’s Airing But ...

House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end.

Stay (Pinoy YouTube) 7 eps - It’s mostly in English and set in LA so I’m not bothering but the first one did drop.

Ever After (Pinoy ????) - I got nothing. 

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari no Hajimari no Asa (Japan Sun ????) 10 eps - NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS and no, I have no idea where to get it, why would I? (Say it with me everyone: Oh Japan, must you?*)

Boys Love Omegaverse (Japan ????) - honestly tho? Who tf cares? You’ll still tell me if you find it, because inquiring minds... Irony of this airing at the same time as Takumi-kun. Full circle much, Japan? 

Tin Tem Jai Special (Thai ????) - honestly I checked Gaga & iQiyi in my territory (craptastic hotel) and neither had it listed so I quickly gave up. I mean OF COURSE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE Lee Long Shi in a bathtub, who wouldn’t? But... 

Just because I didn’t watch the special doesn’t mean I can’t gank Lee Long Shi wearing nothing but soap bubbles for you. 

I’m not a monster. 

Ended This Week 

Our Skyy 2 final 4 eps thoughts: This was an interesting combination, and don’t get me wrong I very much enjoyed it, but it felt like the story was carried by PatPran’s characters while the setting and narrative followed an ATOTS arc - ultimately disjointed. OhmNanon are so bold and vibrant they’re too stark a tonal contrast to EarthMix’s more refined and elegant approach, so for me the screen presences and the style of story clashed. It was like a bouquet made up of tulips & roses: they are both flowers and they’re both pretty, but I feel like they actually belong in different vases. Still, enjoyable. And I got a crying kiss. Always makes me happy. Definitely the best of this bunch, and probably the best Our Skyy (and I genuinely loved both the NLMG historical installment and SOTUS.) 8/10 

Star Struck. A friends to lovers story that felt more friends to tolerant yet disinterested partner. It was more about challenges with parents and class strife. I would’ve been disappointed if the show hadn’t come out of nowhere so I had no expectations. But as KBLs go, don’t bother. 6/10 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting:

6/15 Tokyo in April AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Gaga) 8 eps - Based on a yaoi, this is a reunion romance that takes place in an office. Japan does Our Dating Sim? Yes please.

Still Coming - June 2023

6/22 About Us but Not About Us (Pinoy movie from 2022 on Prime) - A professor grieving the loss of his partner meets an ambitious literature student.

6/24 Why You (Khmer BL ????) - Billed as a horror romance, not sure if this is a movie or a series where it will air... nothing except that it exists.

6/24 Tie The Knot AKA Under the Same Sky (Pinoy movie on Prime) Trailer - I guess Prime is coming for our Pinoy BL? From OXIN Films (Rainbow Prince), announced for 2022 based on a true story, Briggs's family runs a bridal business but he has never had a chance to fall in love until he meets Shao, a groom to be.

6/25 Dinosaur Love (Thai iQIYI) Trailer 5 eps - from Ultimate Troop about a uni student, Rak, whose partner cheats on him with Rak's best friend. This gives bad boy hazer Dino an opportunity to hit on Rak at last. From The Yearbook people so I will not watch this as it airs. After Remember Me? Never again with them.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Bruce is so damn fantastic in this show.

Consent comes in all different forms. (both Step by Step) 

Fight fight fight!

Sex sex sex blow job! (both La Pluie) 

Smartest boy in the show. 

Not enough InkPa... never enough. Never never never! 

Love the suit.

All from the Our Skyy 2 BB + ATOTS cross over. 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? IVE’s I Am

[blubushie]

i've seen some blogs i follow say that misandry isn't real and men aren't opressed for being men and honestly the former doesn't sit right with me. misandry is not systemic like misogyny but your answers about your experiences prove that it does indeed happen in queer spaces. masculine queer men have to prove that they aren't a threat by making themselves a walking gay caricature.

Hell men aren't just oppressed in female-dominant "cultures" (like queer spaces) but they're also oppressed by patriarchy and, in some ways, legally. They're just not oppressed in the same way women are.

Men are considered inherently stronger/better, which means women can't compete with us, which means any time a man is a victim of a woman it's automatically his fault for ALLOWING himself to be. How are you, a man, gonna let a woman hit you? (It's because even if you defend yourself, and you make the call the police, YOU'LL be arrested as the aggressor. It's your word against hers, and in domestic violence they will always favour hers.)

We are simultaneously shit on for defending ourselves, because how dare a man ever put his hands on a woman even in self defence, but at the same time if we DON'T do that, it's our fault for being abused because we didn't "resist" our abuser. This is the male version of being asked about what you were wearing when you were victimised. The only way men are ALLOWED to be recognised as victims is if you're a child and your abuser is an adult man. If it's an adult woman? Hell, kid, you're lucky.

A lot of people think men can't be raped—either because we "always want sex", or because we're expected to physically resist our rapist and win. Contrast this to women, who are told to piss themselves or scream, or just take it because maybe if you do your rapist won't kill you. (If you ask me a firearm makes a helluva equaliser, but that's a conversation for another day.) Legislation even reflects this—in the UK, for example, according to UK law, it isn't possible for a women to rape a man unless she penetrates him with an object. A woman violently raping a man, even a child, by restraining him or otherwise and forcing him into penetrating her, is merely considered sexual assault and carries a much lighter sentence than rape.

And that really sucks for someone like me, who was raped by two women while I was drunk. Who didn't even realise I was raped until a mate explained it to me, because it's normalised that women can have sex with a drunk man and that's not considered rape—not even if he blacks out and asks them to stop when he wakes up, and they keep going while he blacks out again. Like what happened to me. An even bigger kicker—a man is always considered responsible in sex. So if a drunk man and a drunk woman both agree to sex while both are intoxicated, legally HE is raping HER despite both being unable to actually consent.

This in addition to men being expected to be sole providers for a home by society—look at the current rise of women looking for a sugar daddy or red-flagging a man because he only has one car instead of two, or of men never being favoured in family court even when the mother is unable to care for the children or is abusive, or how women will weaponise visitation against fathers for spite because they know the court will side with her regardless of how good of a father he is, or the lack of men's shelters, or how DV shelters won't take women with minor children who are boys older than 12 so a woman has to either go back to her abuser with her children or leave her sons behind alone with an abusive father, of people laughing at the male loneliness epidemic and treating it like a good thing/deserved reckoning instead of recognising it as a warning sign for a flood of lost teens and young men drifting down the Andrew Tate or rapist incel misogyny pipeline, of people laughing at men's mental health month posts and outright encouraging men to commit suicide under them while men already statistically commit suicide at a higher rate than women...

Men are oppressed in some ways, I'd argue some of those ways are systemic, but no one talks or cares about it. There was a feminism wave in the 90s of "patriarchy harms everyone", which is true, but now we're on a different wave of "men are biologically evil", which is absolutely batshit fucking insane and helps no one. Bioessentialism helps no one. (Plus it's transphobic and intersexist.)

Anyway I'm gonna go back to working on my ute now.