#also have been in an art rut that has been kicking my ass!!

[fosliie]

Metamorphosis/FX animation for class!

Was made back during Halloween so wanted to do something a lil spooky with an altered design of an older oc of mine (if you somehow remember them you absolutely get a golden sticker)

[the-hinky-panda]

June Bug Series: Chapter 1

Title: June Bug

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Goodie Carangi x OFC!Reader (June)

Summary: You're a business owner that's trying to fly under the radar in Tulsa but that's going to be extremely difficult when you fall for Goodie.

You’re stuck in a rut. A boring, dull, exasperating rut. It’s your third time in the same week coming out to the barn to spend time grooming your ten year old mare, Ruby. It was something you did whenever you needed to get out from behind your desk, out of the four walls of your home. You’re usually not this frequent a visitor to Fennario Ranch and your presence has finally piqued your friend’s interest. 

“If you keep showing up to groom that horse, you’re going to brush her until she’s bald.” 

You stop mid stroke and run a hand over the horse’s coat. “That can happen?” 

Margaret chuckles. “God, no. It was a joke.” 

“Oh.” You go back to brushing Ruby’s flank. “That wasn’t funny.” 

“It was a little funny.” Margaret sits on a tack trunk. “I’m not used to seeing you out here so much in one week. You’re getting dangerously close to running into Cal at some point.” 

“I’m not too worried. Your staff always gives me a heads up when he pulls in.” 

“So you can go hide?” 

“So I can avoid confrontation.” 

“Considering how often you’ve been here this week, maybe some confrontation would be good for you.” 

You flash her a grin over Ruby’s withers. “You just want me to run him off because he’s bugging you now. Wait, aren’t you seeing someone? That guy from New York?” 

Margaret gives you a side eye. “Define ‘seeing.’” 

“Call it whatever you want. He can do your dirty work for you. In fact, I wouldn’t mind seeing Cal have his ass handed to him by some mobster from New York City.” 

“Then maybe you should make friends with him.” 

“What? And have him find out about our little business venture? If he’s really affiliated with the mob then we’ll have to pay a kick-up to him. I already brokered a zero kick-up fee to Kansas City. I don’t want to have to sweet talk my way out of another situation like that.” 

“Alright,” Margaret sips her coffee. “Don’t make friends with him but he does have a guy that works the casino floor that’s from New York as well. He’s your type too.” 

“My type,” you scoff. “And what exactly is that?” 

“Clean cut, good shape, dresses impeccably. He seems personable.” 

Okay, that is your type but you’re going to be damned to let Margaret know she hit the nail on the head. “Sounds boring.” 

Margaret sighs in exasperation. “God, June, come on. You need to get out and have some fun. Loosen the fuck up for a change.” 

You drop the brush back into the tack box and pick up a carrot, snapping it in half before giving it to Ruby. “I’ve been researching through the latest group of men and-” 

Margaret interrupts. “No. No work. Go by yourself. Do something wild and pick someone up.” 

“Oh yeah, a one night stand will solve everything.” 

“Maybe not everything but it’ll take the edge off. You know, let him do all the work for a change.” 

You nod in resignation at your friend and business partner. “Alright. Fine. What’s this guy’s name?” 

Margaret smiles at you. “Ask him yourself.” 

And that is how you end up spending the entire evening at the newly opened Bred 2 Buck Casino and Cabaret. The name kept popping up in your research as an upcoming hot spot in Tulsa and it was also the only place you were guaranteed to not run into your ex-husband. So you pulled out one of your many little black dresses, slipped into a pair of Christian Louboutin pumps and headed to Tulsa’s newest casino.

Some people go to museums to analyze the art, you go to establishments such as this to analyze the patrons. And there were a wide range from out of state high rollers playing black jack and craps to locals who would play $20 on the slots and then go listen to the live music while they sip on mid-shelf whiskey. After making a couple passes through the casino floor and losing fifty bucks on a slot machine just to fit in with the locals, you settle near the end of the bar where you can still hear the house band but the bass doesn’t rattle your martini glass. You’re content to sit in peace but a whiff of expensive cologne alerts you to someone taking the seat next to yours. 

Here we go. 

***

Goodie noticed you the moment you stepped onto the casino floor. You’re dressed in an elegantly cut black dress and expensive heels, your hair is in a sweeping updo with small white flowers tucked into the dark waves. You move around the floor in measured, graceful steps. When you pass behind him at one of the craps tables, he catches the scent of jasmine and cedarwood. Your eyes meet his briefly as you move past the table and he realizes that noticed isn’t a strong enough word. 

Colpo di fulmine. The thunderbolt. 

Fifty-five years old and it happens precisely as his mother predicted it would. No warning, no prelude, nothing. He’s already taken half a step away from the craps table he’s been monitoring to follow you before he comes to his senses. He keeps one eye on the table and one on you as you drift between the gaming tables. You take a seat at one of the slot machines and it strikes him as odd. You don’t seem to be a slots gambler, not with your sense of high style and grace. 

By the time the wannabe oil baron craps out and the pit boss starts to reset the table, you’ve left the casino floor and his heart sinks. He takes a shot and scans the bar and cabaret area and sees you sitting at the bar. The relief he feels is ridiculous but then the nerves return as he approaches you. He can see the small frown, the subtle downturn of your mouth, as he takes the seat at the very end of the bar and the bartender slides him a vodka and lime. 

“You don’t strike me as a slot player.” 

Your eyes scan his face and the frown straightens. “And what kind of player do I strike you as?” 

God, you’re stunning. And that is the proper word because he’s struggling to find his words, his breath. He is properly stunned. But words are his speciality. “Poker.” 

“Poker? Really?” You raise a finely arched eyebrow. “How’s that?” 

“You look like a woman who likes the challenge of reading a room, reading a person.” 

“And you figured this out just by sitting down next to me at the bar?” 

“No, I figured it out by watching you scope out the casino floor. All the craps games were too hot at the moment for you to jump in. Blackjack’s too simple to engage you. Roulette, same. But for the life of me, I can’t figure out why in the world you played the slot machine.” 

“Looks like I’m not the only one who enjoys watching people.” You finally give him a smile and his heart nearly stops. “As for the slot machine, what can I say? I was in the mood for something different tonight. New experience, so to speak.” 

“I get that,” he laughs. “If you can’t tell, I’m not exactly from around here.” 

“No kidding.” There’s a mischievous glint to your eye. “Let me guess, Jersey?” 

He puts a hand to his heart. “Ouch. You wound me.” 

That earns him a soft laugh from you as you pick up the speared olives from your martini. “My apologies. I may have never been to the east coast but a New York accent is very hard to mistake, especially here in Tulsa. But there seems to be an odd influx of youse guys.” 

“That’s not too bad,” he teases. “For someone who’s never been, you’d blend right in.” 

“Well, what can I say,” you look him directly in the eyes, “I like mafia movies.” 

He understands exactly what you’re implying but he’s not sure how to take it. Is this simple flirting? Digging for information? Were you sent by someone? No, it was exceedingly rare that women were sent to deal with family business. But with Chickie’s unstableness recently, he wouldn’t put anything past him. He chooses to proceed as if this were a regular conversation and see where it leads. “Oh yeah. What’s your favorite?” 

“I was an avid Sopranos fan. Never missed an episode.” 

Goodie scoffs. “Sopranos was shit.” 

You actually laugh. “You don't like it because it took place in Jersey.” 

“There was that.” He can feel his phone buzz in his pocket and he knows he has to get back to the casino floor. You notice the dull sound and motion to his suit jacket pocket. 

“It sounds like duty calls and I don’t know your name.” 

He takes out a business card and writes his name and number on the back of it. “To be fair, I don’t know yours either.” 

You take the offered card and narrow your eyes. “Goodie?” 

“It’s a nickname,” he shrugs. “My real name’s Dennis but no one calls me that.” 

That answer satisfies you enough that you return the information. June. Simple, elegant. It fits you. He puts your drink on his tab and heads back to the casino floor. Someone hit big at the blackjack table and needed to cash out their eight thousand dollar winnings. It was a young guy partying with his groomsmen before getting married the next morning. By the time he had handed over the money and saw the very happy groom-to-be out the door, you had already left the premises. Just as he was wondering if you would ever use his number, his phone buzzes again. Pulling it out and wondering what the issue is now, he sees it’s from you. 

The next free night you have, let’s do dinner.  -June

***

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[leavingautumn13]

god you guys, i am so so sorry for the radio silence here. i have been slammed since i got back from indianapolis last month and it hasn't been with like, fun stuff either.

commission updates will be going out before the 23rd. i'm very sorry for the delay but i want to say thank you for everyone's patience; i really can't overstate how much i appreciate it.

commissions will also be closing until after art fight at the earliest. that may extend further into the fall; we'll see how i feel when the time rolls around. i may wind up putting energy into doing adoptables instead; those would be less pressure on me i think.

the Mental Illness(tm) has been kicking my ass and i'm kind of in a rut with art, but i just have to keep reminding myself that like--people would not commission me if they didn't like the work i was capable of doing right now!! people like my art and that's why they pay me.

but i do think i still need to take a break. at least for artfight.

also, if you're doing artfight and want me to draw your character without having to pay me money, please reply or reblog with your artfight account. i'm planning on doing at least one attack a day so i should be able to knock out everybody eventually (unless this post somehow gets a ton of traction, which i doubt). if you see me doing more than that, hit me with a cardboard tube or something. i did three in one day last year and burned right the fuck out in like, a week. i'd like to stay in for the whole game this time.

anyway, here's my artfight account. i follow back most of the time. i'll be adding more characters to it soon!

[prettybbychim]

xiao’s quest???? damn i hadn’t even considered him lmao it’s been so fucking long since i’ve done these, ive just been waiting for the mental energy to devote my attention to them again lol

i’ve been specifically avoiding childe and zhongli’s story quest bc i know they will serve as magnificent inspiration for my fic and ive been trying to keep my focus on another fic that’s almost fucking done (hint: it’s not working)

the size change makes sense tho i was looking at the exuvia like…ain’t no way lol i couldn’t remember any cutscene w him not in a human form

(u mentioned apep and now i’m thinking of dragon sovereigns and like would neuvillette be that massive ?? m dizzy)

the only unreleased area i can think of is the blackcliff forge, after that we might have liyue in its entirety. the entrance to it is by the golden house. its a weird little spot, it reminds me of what the entrance to the chasm looked/felt like before its release. i remember stumbling upon it for the first time and being like OWO what be this ?! can i go in pls let me go in i want to go in why won’t you let me iiiiiiin

speaking of the golden house tho, i want to know how the mora minting works lol as the archon, he could’ve just…indefinite pennies flowing from his fingertips or smth lmaooo and they didn’t seem to have an issue with what they had in stock until after rex lapis died. someone mentioned the qixing i think was stressed bc all the mora that’s in circulation and in storage is all the mora they have now. are they going to start creating their own mora? or are they just gonna deal with what they have? will pantalone sweep in to take advantage of the mora crisis?

i could see the golden house being a potential location for his rut bc as u mention, it’s literally a dragon’s hoard lol it’s off the beaten path from the city. kick out the guards from the inside and you’d be set lol but being as it is, i wouldn’t consider it ideal or lowkey but i could see it if i squinted and tilted my head

in regards to the birthday art, all i can fathom is an adeptal abode bc let’s be honest, this man has lots of shit lol where else could he store 6k+ years of stuff he’s collected and not be found by nosy humans? even as a human, he still likes to buy shit lol jesus fuck, the amount of downsizing he must have to do if he wants to clear out his “old place.” and u know when he stumbles upon smth of interest, he’s reminiscing on it for 20 years (just like me fr). good thing he’s so long lived bc that’s not a task that can be accomplished within a human lifespan lmao

i agree he wouldn’t stay in chenyu vale. it’s part of liyue but it’s also like ?? it’s own thing?? it feels distant, u know? i adore it but it also doesn’t feel like it fits with the rest of liyue aesthetically. it’s liyue but also not. the chasm feels like the rest of liyue but chenyu vale feels like i entered a neighboring region in the same way you enter sumeru or mondstadt, u know? am i making sense am i the only one that feels this way lol

liyue proper is also very geo archon focused in its puzzle mechanics while chenyu vale is very carp adepti focused. it just doesn’t feel like the land of geo, u know???? lmao

i stumbled upon the cave i was looking for by chance last night. it was in a completely different location than i thought rip me ig

and while i was mining for ores, i stumbled upon this weird ass cave. large as fuck and completely empty, and by the edge of the map

zhongli for scale. my screenshot doesn’t even do it justice lol strangest thing ive ever seen lol

and the last candidate i have is directly under mt. aocang

it’s even got a vishap camping in it. he says it’s an ideal location for a dragon rut, trust me, he told me himself as i beat him up for his ores

Come to think of it, we don't know where Zhongli lives, do we? What do you think his place looks like?

I think this is the only picture we have ever gotten of his place. Like we can see his normal outfit in the back. So he's got a balcony and probably a clear view of the whole city.

I've got some headcanons for Zhongli's living space. First, a modest living. No bigger than the average Liyue household. But I truly believe every part of his home is decorated in the most elegant and luxurious items. We know he spends a lot of time admiring beautiful things and spending money on whatever he finds valuable, so I think he buys anything that catches his eye so him home is just full of stuff.

It might be a small place but it is furnished to perfection, full of antiques from millenniums past or the most modern and trendy knickknacks. It is the most traditional Liyue stylized apartment but every aspect of his home is refined and beautiful (like he is)

On the other hand he's a consultant (they make quite a bit of money) and a very well-known person in Liyue. So I think it's entirely possible for him to have a very large house just so he can store all of his trinkets. But I think his desire to live amongst the people motivates him to downsize.

But you cannot tell me he doesn't have the most expensive furniture and decorations he is super detailed about the food he eats there is no way he isn't living in a house that isn't aligned with all of his aesthetics.

[thegremlincrowsnest]

Porn Idea #548

Aizawa/Hizashi/Reader 

I’ll be posting this to AO3 after some final editing but I was too impatient to share it with you guys! 

CW: Afab language, daddy is said, double penetration, anal, Cernunnos just being a really horny mofo You're a new art teacher, married to a fellow teacher, Shouta Aizawa, the history teacher. You started working with him a few months ago, part-time,  after finishing some freelance gigs and wanting a change of pace for a while. It was nice working with your partner and teaching a new group of students to love the arts as you do. However, Shouta slowly gets jealous of how often you innocently flirt with the music teacher Hizashi Yamada and the gym teacher Toshinori Yagi. From there, that’s when he starts picking up some of his old gang behavior, wanting to claim you and make sure no one messes with what’s his. Hizashi definitely tests him by letting his hands linger on your back or shoulders when Shouta is watching. Hizashi was his old second in command from back in the day. He casually speaks in code to Shouta even when you're present. Whenever he was at your house, he lets his hands slide up your thigh or play with the elastic band of your short shorts. He would snap them, chuckling at your squeals and keeping eye contact with Shouta as he says, “Careful, my dear, don’t want to fuel the thoughts of wolves that hunger for you.” All you can do is blush and not fully understanding the weird vibe they’re giving off to each other but doesn’t question it. 

After Hizashi makes that wolf comment what Shouta goes, “Well, I don’t think there are any wolves brave enough to bite what’s mine....” to try and push Hizashi to the edge. Of course, Hizashi rises to the challenge, pulling you back against him, his arms wrapping around you while he looks at your lover, saying, “And what if there was a wolf brave enough?” Shouta walks up, pressing close to your front as you Y/N.exe stopped working as you were sandwiched between two men who have some history. “W-would anyone like some lemonade? Hizashi let his hands trail down your sides, digging his fingers into the top of your thighs. “The only thing I’m thirsty is for you, darling,” Shouta growls at that and leans in to say, “Hizashi...if you wanted me to fuck you senseless again, you didn’t need to tease my partner like this,” to which Hizashi smirks and grabs your throat, tilting your head upwards, saying, “What if I want both?” Shouta chuckles, moving your head back and leaning in to kiss you softly, asking, “What do you think, my love?”

You’re in heaven blushing and letting them handle you like some prized possession. Hizashi just smiles and lets his hands slide back up over your breast. Chuckling at the small noises you make. “You picked a perfect one as always, Shouta.” Then finally, you snap out of it a little and weasels your way out with a chuckle. “L-let me get that lemonade for you boys”“Oh no, you don’t....don’t avoid my question, baby,” Shouta would say as he grabs your wrist to pull you back in. Pushing you to his chest and wrapping an arm around your waist to pin you against his throbbing cock. “I want to know what you think of Hizashi here...eating you out while I pound this ass...” 

Hizashi moans at the suggestion, holding onto your hips and grinding his own dick against your ass. “Don’t tease me with a good time like that, baby...” Hizashi moans in your ear; you could only moan softly and lean into them. Your eyelids drooped, and you press your ass against Hizashi some more. “I-I’d like that a lot, Sir.... mmmm, I think Hizashi is quite handsome, and I-I wouldn’t mind him eating me out if you’d allow it.” The scent of their cologne mixed together made you dizzy. You had to press your thighs together to prevent any of your juices from dripping onto the carpet. The two boys share a look. It was only for a moment, but it’s almost as if they had a full conversation. Because before you could register what’s about to happen, Hizashi chuckles and turns you around, pinning you to the counter, standing in front of you while he leans down to grab the counter by your sides. “You think I’m handsome, baby? Even with your sexy husband around?” He teases, leaning in to kiss your neck. His fingers slipping down to play with the hem of your shorts. You squealed and ran your hands through his hair. “Ohh~ I mean, I’ve always thought you both were very sexy,” you say as you switched from looking at him to Shouta. you rubbed your thighs together and whimpered at the intensity of his gaze. “Fuck boys, if you’re just gonna tease me, I’ll just leave then~” Shouta grabs your neck tightly. Turning you to face him as Hizashi drops to his knees. “Do you really think you could leave right now, baby....” he stares into your eyes. “Your job is to feed the hungry men in this house. And you have two to satisfy,” he says as he leans in to kiss you, wanting to devour you now but knowing the best is yet to come. 

Meanwhile, Hizashi chuckles while he pushes your thighs apart, enjoying the view. “How could you leave when you’re a mess like this?~” he teases as he runs a finger through your pretty wet lips “what do you want me to do about it?”You couldn’t help but squeal as you came. Squirting onto Hizashis face as your thighs quivered and your back arched, blushing furiously. “Oh god...I-I’m so sorry Hizashi...t-this has never happened before. I’m so embarrassed.” Your heart pounded as you looked up between Shouta and him, expecting a laugh or look of disgust. ”Well, that was a first. Fucking hot, that’s what it was,” They say to one another. With a primal growl, Hizashi roughly spreads your thighs open and dives in to devour you. His tongue teasing your entrance as he takes the time to also suck on your clit. Shouta gets stunned for a moment before giving a low chuckle, “who knew my darling love had more tricks up your sleeve?” He says all sweet as he then rips the front of your shorts open, “if you’re gonna act like a whore you should look like one.” You threw your head back and moaned loudly again. “Fuck yes, I’m a whore~ a cock drunk whore! Jesus that feels so good~” you tugged his hair gently as you looked to Shouta. “Please, sirs have your way with me...I’ve been dreaming of this for so long. “In that case....” Shouta pushes Hizashis’s face away from your cunt and lifts you up, to then roughly toss your ass up onto the kitchen table “in that case, well, eat you up till there’s nothing left.” Shouta spreads your legs open by kicking your feet apart, and after he lets his erection out, he slaps it onto your ass. “Beg bitch”. Meanwhile, Hizashi strips and moves to stand in front of your mouth. His dick sliding across your pouty lips. You squeal and push back to try and grind against his cock. “Fuck me, sir~ please fill me up and use me!”  You licks against Hizashis’s cock gently before opening your mouth for him, looking up at him with a soft whine.  Pushing back, almost sliding Shouta’s cock into you, but he groans softly as he pulls back. “God, I need you both inside me so bad~” You moan out. “What do you think, Hizashi?” Shouta teases, letting his cock rut gently against your lips, not giving you the friction you desire just yet. “Aren’t they beautiful?” He asks while his hand caresses your ass and slaps it occasionally. Enjoying the moans coming from your lips. “I agree with that,” Hizashi says as his breathing gets heavy, holding onto your chin and letting his thumb run across your bottom lip. His cock throbbing against your cheek. “But I think we both know how to make them look even prettier,” he taunts. Looking up to Shouta. In silent understanding, ignoring your begging, they both ram their cocks into you fully at the same time. Shouta grabs onto your hips and fucks you slowly, while Hizashi holds onto your head. You could only squeal as they began to use you; looking up at Hizashi, he swore your pupils turned to hearts as they fucked you. Drool and precum began to drip from your lips as you push back against Shouta, clenching around him and grinding against his hips. Slowly you move your hands onto Hizashis hips, gripping them as you helped him fuck your throat.  You squealed and moaned helplessly, in pure bliss at the two men ravaging you like an animal. The men moan and grunt as they thrust into you. Shouta makes sure to slap your ass to keep you moaning underneath him. “You like that, huh you whore? Being treated like a cocksleeve just for us?”  Hizashi moans at that even. His hands running down your chest to pull and pinch your nipples. “If you want more slut you’re gonna need to make us cum. That’s what you’re best at, isn’t it?” Hizashi says. You pull back and jerks Hizashis’s cock as you whimper. “Fuck, if you let me ride you both, I’ll be able to show you want I really can do~” clenching around Shouta, bouncing against him slowly.  You look up at Hizashi with big eyes as you say. “Don’t you wanna fuck my ass Hizashi~” Hizashis knees buckle a bit at that suggestion. He looks from your messy face to Shouta’s with pleading eyes. Well, who is he to say no? He pulls out of your pussy and takes a step back. He twists you around to lay on your back and pushes your feet towards your head “hold onto your ankles, baby.” With a giddy smile, you do as your told, holding your ankles to your head. “I’m ready~” He smirks down at you as he slides his cock into your pussy, moaning appreciatively as he does so. And then he wraps his arms around you to lift you up, clutching you against him. Without missing a beat, Hizashi comes up behind you. Kissing the back of your neck and sliding a finger into your ass to get you ready for him. You let go of your legs, allowing them to hang off of his shoulders. Whimpering softly, you nuzzle into him as you feel Hizashis’s fingers. Desperately wanting to grind against those fingers and the cock deep inside you groaning in frustration. “More~ please more!” Hizashi smirks, bringing his hips to your ass, massaging your cheeks with his fingers. “What are we to do with such a naughty kitten like you?” He teases, slapping your ass roughly. “Already so full of cock but wanting more...” he pushes his tip against your tight entrance. Shouta tilts your chin up to kiss you, “I guess we need to punish them then by filling them up.  You can’t leave the house if you’re full of cum.” He says. You could only whimper as you felt him press against your entrance “H-Hizashi, don’t be a tease anh!”  You said as you tried to push back. Hearing Shouta say they’ll fill you up sent you into a spiral. Shivering and squirting on his cock you whimpered. “Yes! F-fill me up, please!~ I’ll be a good Kitten.” you babbled on as you felt your mind slipping. "Tsk tsk making such a mess..." Shouta says. "Looks like it’s time to plug them up~" Hizashi continues for him, thrusting his full length inside your ass. The two of them thrust at different times, constantly changing the pressure inside of you. They both lean into the sides of your head, Hizashi giving you praise while Shouta continues to degrade you. You couldn’t help the whimpers that escaped your lips as you were filled. Threading a hand through Hizashis hair, you leaned back. “So good~ you guys make me feel so good,” you moan softly.  You can feel the beginnings of small bruises on your hips and thighs but accepted them fully. Your holes leak and throbbed around the two cocks inside of you. Then you had a wonderful idea “C-come on, Shouta~ Don’t want Hizashi to outdo you.” Hizashi chuckles at that. “Am I making you feel that good baby?” He says as he looks Shouta in the eyes. Continuing, he says, “Make you feel so good you wanna be bred on my cock? Make you full with my cum to have my babies?” This makes Shouta possessively growl and slap your ass “who are you to be making such claims bitch?” He then grabs onto your throat to slightly choking you. “you will cum on my dick, and you will enjoy it. Like the cock whore you are. Be bred.” You moan softly at the feeling of his hand. Then smirks when you say, “Make me~” you loved pushing his buttons and seeing how far you can take him. “Make me, or else I’ll ask Hizashi to hold me up while he fucks my ass in your face.”  You clenched around their cocks as you felt Shouta growl and thrust faster. Hizashis hands move up to pinch and pull your nipples, reaching down to rub your clit as he keeps slowly fucking your ass. In return, he tightened his grip on your hips, his fingers pushing deep onto your muscles, forming bruises that will be visible all week long. He was going slow to be nice and match Hizashi in your ass, but if you wanted to be a brat like this, he’d treat you like the ragdoll you want to be. He growls and starts moving you on his cock and thrusting faster and deeper into you. “Looks like I need to remind you who’s in charge here, kitten....” he leans in and marks up your neck as he says, “If you behave and tighten up, maybe I’ll fill you up like you’ve wanted.” Your eyes crossed as you squealed, “yes, daddy~ fuck, please fill me up. I want your babies!” Your resolve faded as you felt his cock hit against your womb entrance. Hizashi chuckled and started speeding up as well, making your body shiver. “H-harder, please, daddy fucking put me in my place, please!”  You say as your pussy tightens up around them both.  You reach down to rub your clit as you watch his cock disappear inside of you. He grins and keeps this pace, making sure every thrust into your sloppy pussy hits you deep. “Look at this whore, playing with their clit while we fill them up, Hizashi....” he teases and smirks at the blonde “what do you suggest we do?” Hizashi also smirks and leans in to kiss your shoulder, picking up his pace to match Shouta’s. “I think we need to fill them up for days....that sound like a good idea?” He grins and keeps this pace, making sure every thrust into your sloppy pussy hits her deep. “Yes, yes, fill me up! Fuck I want your cum so fucking bad~” you lean back and pull Hizashis’s face close. Kissing him deeply as your other hand cups Shouta’s cheek. “I feel so good~ god, you’re both so fucking thick~,” you say as you feel them throb deep inside of you. It’s a nice sight, seeing the two of them kiss. Not that he’ll admit it for now. But he knows he’s getting there. He leans his head on her shoulder and focuses on how soft and wet and warm you are. God, he can get lost in you for hours. You’re gonna look so good full of his kids. Over and over. “God baby, I’m gonna fill you up...” he moans, shuddering as he thrusts fully into you and filling you up with his cum. You hold onto him tight as you feel him cum deep inside.  You whimper softly and bite down on his shoulder as you cum as well.  You feel Hizashi stop and look back, confused. “What’s wrong?”  You ask cutely. He helps Shouta pull out before thrusting into your pussy cumming as well. He groans and rubs your clit softly, helping you through another orgasm. “Oh god~ I’m so full~ fuck daddy, it feels so good” Well shit...that was a surprise. Shouta thought, but you look so happy being full, so it’s okay for now. Carefully he and Hizashi get you to sit on the couch. More so, sitting on a combination of their laps. Their hands and kisses soft on your skin, helping to soothe you. “What a good kitten you are, baby...” Shouta praises you, “maybe we need to have guests over more often.”

[lillupon]

AEV Chapter 21 Bonus: Canon-divergent AU

If you’ve been following me for a while, you may have seen me blabbing about Wonwoo getting pregnant in this fic! I actually debated for a long time on whether or not male omegas could conceive. If male omegas could not get pregnant, it could be another reason why they occupy the lowest rung in the societal hierarchy. Anyway, I scrapped that idea because there’s something very thrilling about Mingyu knocking Wonwoo up—in particular, while he is still Wonwoo’s student.

But then I thought: Maybe alphas are more virile and omegas are more fertile during their cycles. They didn’t use protection while Mingyu was in rut. So, despite Wonwoo being on the pill, he gets pregnant. He doesn’t find out that he’s pregnant until he and Mingyu have already broken up. He keeps the child. Names her Jeongyeon.

I imagine Mingyu and Wonwoo reconnecting in the same way they did in chapter 20. Wonwoo reluctantly cuts their first meeting short, but this time, not with the excuse of being hungry and having to do more work later:

Wonwoo slips off the table and stretches his arms over head. The vertebrae between his shoulder blades pop satisfyingly. “I’m sorry, Mingyu. I’d love to chat more, but I have to run.”

Mingyu also slides off the desk. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you this long.”

You can keep me for as long as you like. Wonwoo doesn’t voice the thought out loud, but it embarrasses him just to think it. Things have changed. Now, Wonwoo is just one face in a sea of thousands, just one person out of many who loves Mingyu. “Don’t be sorry. I really enjoyed catching up with you and hearing about what you’ve been up to.”

Mingyu smiles at him. “You don’t have to spare my feelings.”

Wonwoo laughs softly. “I’m serious! I would have liked to talk more, but I, ah—I need to go pick my daughter up from daycare.”

The smile freezes on Mingyu’s lips. His throat bobs as he swallows. It’s a beat before he recovers. “I’m sorry for keeping you from your family. I didn’t realise you had a kid and a mate now.”

Wonwoo shakes his head. “It’s just my daughter and me.”

“Oh,” Mingyu says. “Your mate…”

“Not in the picture anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” Mingyu says. Stiff. Awkward. Cautiously curious, he asks, “Did they uh… You know… Kick the bucket?”

Wonwoo’s laugh is genuine. Kicking balls rather than buckets, he wants to say. “No, they’re alive and well. We just went our separate ways.”

* 

Mingyu’s heart falls out the bottom of his stomach when Wonwoo says that he needs to go pick his daughter up from daycare. They had spent the last two hours chatting and laughing. Mingyu had found himself falling all over again. Charmed by this beautiful man with his beautiful smile. 

Of course someone else had been captivated too. He had steeled himself for this before he walked through the doors of Carat Elementary, that Wonwoo might belong to another person now. The mental preparation does nothing to ease his disappointment. 

His heart is saved from its death throes by the words It’s just my daughter and me. It valiantly climbs up to his chest again. It still hurts, but with a different sort of wound. Wonwoo had loved someone enough to have a child with them, but they had walked out.

How could anyone do that to Wonwoo?

Mingyu feels like a gormless and clingy puppy. He trails after Wonwoo as the omega goes to his desk to pack up his belongings. Falls into step beside Wonwoo as they exit through the school doors and head to the parking lot.

Mingyu waits until Wonwoo’s car has pulled out of the parking lot before leaving himself. 

Chaeyoung returns home for reading break. The Kim family all take a trip down to the hot springs for a week. Mingyu had been looking forward to spending time with his family for months, but now that he is actually here, all he wants to do is return to the city. See Wonwoo again. 

As soon as Mingyu is back in the city, he visits Wonwoo again. A lot of people won’t date single parents, but Wonwoo having a kid changes nothing for him. The years they spent apart have not diminished his feelings for Wonwoo. Mingyu still pines, still wants to provide—not just for Wonwoo, but Jeongyeon as well. He just has to figure out whether or not Wonwoo is interested in dating someone. More specifically: whether or not Wonwoo might be interested in dating him.

Meanwhile, Wonwoo is struggling to figure out how to break the news to Mingyu. He wonders if he should bring it up at all. It’s a huge secret—perhaps even more so than the clandestine affair between student and teacher. It’s a secret that can destroy the budding friendship that is starting to bloom between him and Mingyu. Mingyu will feel betrayed, lied to, Wonwoo knows. He doesn’t know if he can withstand losing Mingyu a second time.

It weighs on him, every time they meet. Almost to the point where he feels sick when he sees Mingyu smiling at him, sweet and tender. To make matters worse, Jeongyeon, normally a shy and quiet child, has imprinted on Mingyu like a duckling. It’s as if she knows Mingyu is her father. It hurts Wonwoo’s heart, to look at the two of them playing: Mingyu sitting hunched in a too-small plastic chair, daintily holding a tiny teacup between his forefinger and thumb; Jeongyeon pouring Mingyu tea, sharing with him plastic pastries. This could be his, for real, but he’s so scared. 

They’re both falling deeper and deeper for each other, and they both know it. But as quickly as they had crossed the line years ago, they’re more hesitant now. 

It comes to a breaking point when Mingyu invites him for a day out. An afternoon at the art gallery, where the current exhibition features one of Wonwoo’s favourite artists, followed by dinner at a restaurant along the waterfront. This is different from all the other times they’ve spent in each other’s presence. Wonwoo knows this because he had caught a whiff of the nervousness in Mingyu’s scent before it was swiftly buried, and because Mingyu had said, “I was thinking, it might be just you and me.”

So Wonwoo drops Jeongyeon off at Dahyun’s house that day. He showers and spends an hour rifling through his closet before deciding on a simple turtleneck and dark jeans. He works some product into his hair and spritzes on a bit of cologne. He feels embarrassed for trying so hard, until he opens the door to greet Mingyu and is instead made speechless. He is floored by how gorgeous Mingyu looks. A sweater with a deep v-neck, the colour of red wine. Tucked into thigh-hugging navy trousers that make his legs look a mile long.

Now Wonwoo fears he hasn’t tried hard enough. Except Mingyu quells that worry with an awed, “Wow. You look great.”

If Wonwoo had any doubts that their outing was a date, those thoughts are dispelled in the first two minutes: Mingyu opens the passenger door for him. Wonwoo ducks into the car, wanting to tease Mingyu about it, regain some sense of normalcy. Except the old-fashioned gesture has him giddy and tongue-tied like a young omega being taken out on their first date. 

Fast-forward to the tail-end of their date. By the waterfront. Night has fallen. They had had a late dinner in a floating restaurant. They exit the boat, arms brushing. They stroll up the dock, making their way to the main wharf. Beneath Wonwoo’s feet, the wooden planks sway as a gentle tide ebbs and flows. He had two glasses of red wine with his salmon. Not quite enough to get tipsy, but he finds himself listing towards Mingyu, as if he is drunk. He flounders over his own feet, bumps into Mingyu’s side.

Mingyu reaches out to steady him with a hand on his low back. “Careful,” he says. Keeps his hand there.

All this reciprocated flirting and touching. Wonwoo feels like he’s been turned inside-out, his most vulnerable feelings on bright neon display for Mingyu’s eyes.

Victorian street lamps line either side of the wharf, glowing a warm orange that penetrates through the dark. Mingyu steps up to the railing and leans his weight against it. Wonwoo joins him. Together, they gaze out at the dark waters.

“I’m mad,” Mingyu says, except he sounds anything but. His voice sounds like it has been pulled taut, turned rough and brittle.

Wonwoo turns to Mingyu. Mingyu’s profile is thrown in shadow, and yet it still makes Wonwoo ache. He’s so handsome. “What’s wrong? Why are you mad?”

Mingyu doesn’t respond. 

“Mingyu?” Wonwoo tries again.

Quietly, Mingyu says, “If it had been me, I never would have left you and Jeongyeon.”

Ahh, I’m really captivated by this AU of AEV, but I feel like it would need another 30k-40k words to do it justice. I literally came up with this entire scenario so I could have Mingyu say that cheesy-ass line, hah!

CLICK HERE TO READ THE CONTINUATION BY AN ANON 

[thatesqcrush]

After Hours, Pt. 2 - A Blissful New Year

**

Bryan Kneef x Reader. Conclusion (but not really, lets be real) to After Hours.  AN: NSFW (shocking) for loads of smut and language. AN 2/warning: Anal play requires a lot of prep - please don’t shove plugs without thorough prep and lube - lots and lots of lube as the anus doesn’t produce lubricant. So don’t do what Bryan does. No bueno. But it’s fanfic and I am suspending reality for this self-indulgent fic.

Prior parts: “The Trip” “The Trip, Pt. 2.

AN 3: Happy 2021 friends, may this new year bring you all that you wish for. Let’s say peace out to this dumpster fire of 2020. My last piece for holiday bingo - a very loose interpretation of “gift wrapping.” But again, it’s my bingo so whatevs, ha.

WC (for those who care): 2.8K

**

It was New Year’s Eve. The normally bustling city was quiet, with just a few stragglers securing what was needed to ring in the New Year. Knowing what was going to occur later that evening, you had called a few friends and secured some favors. You spent the entire day primping and pampering. You had a full face of makeup on, more heavy than you usually went for, complete with false lashes and a bold red matte lipstick, as if muddled blackberries were smeared on your lips. Your hair was swept up, with a crown braid to finish the look. Your dress, thanks to Rent the Runway, was a Badgley Mischka gold sequin dress with a v-neckline and ruched waist. It was also dangerously short sans heels and the champagne stilettos you wore, made it even shorter.

Before you left, you downed a shot of Reyka vodka – a gift from a client after you won their case. It went down smoothly – almost too smoothly. You decided to down one more shot to settle your nerves as you waited for your Uber to arrive.

**

Not to be outdone with the elegant Christmas party a week earlier, STR Laurie also hosted a very opulent and lavish New Year’s Eve party. This time it was located at one of the ballrooms at Navy Pier. The ballroom capitalized on timeless architecture and the beauty of Chicago with brick structure and a sweeping dome ceiling which boasted a warm and rustic feel, while being fresh with polished floors and modern amenities. It sat directly on the lakefront with expansive, panoramic, and breathtaking views of Lake Michigan and the skyline. Crystals, crème roses, white lilies, and purple statice hung off the wrought iron chandeliers.

All of STR Laurie and Reddick Boseman were there, with their significant others or dates. Mixing in were the highest echelon of clients the firm wanted to impress or court to pad their billing revenue. Food and drink were abounding in obscene excess, with both an open spread of everything you could possibly imagine along with butler service carrying hors d’oeuvres and champagne. There was a quartet playing jazz.

You plucked a champagne flute off a serving tray and made your way around, greeting colleagues and guests alike. You scanned the room for Bryan but he was nowhere around. You continued to mill about, enjoying the passing time. Every once in awhile you would try to discreetly scan the room to see if he had arrived.

The clock inched forward, closer to midnight. You walked to the one of the windows, with yet another glass of champagne in hand. The windows stretched from floor to ceiling. The moonlight beamed off Lake Michigan, creating an ethereal effect over the city. You overheard from someone passing by that it was thirty minutes to midnight.

You took out your phone, feeling defeated. You were focused on your phone, arranging for an Uber home but you knew Bryan was behind you.

The cologne gave him away. You knew that smell from anywhere. You had been up close with that scent in many ways – from being under Bryan, over Bryan, sitting next to him, to name a few ways.

The tactile sensuality of rich black leather, patchouli and vetiver of his cologne enveloped you like a second skin. Layers of amber emanated off the heat of his skin. It was addicting and intoxicating. You looked up and Bryan’s reflection in the windowpane confirmed that it was in fact him. You spun around and slipped your phone in your clutch.

“Bryan.” You greeted coolly. “I was just about to leave.”

Bryan’s arms were around his back. Your breath caught in your throat as your drunk him in; he looked debonair in his tuxedo. His salt and pepper hair was perfectly coiffed and his beard was neatly trimmed.

“Hey gorgeous. Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” Bryan replied with the tiniest of shrugs as if he did not even care that he had kept you waiting. You suspected he actually did not.

“I had to pick up something for you.” He continued.

You cocked your brow and crossed your arms, which happened to push your breasts up. “For me?”

Bryan’s gaze darkened. “Consider it a belated Christmas gift. Had to make sure it was wrapped perfectly.” And with that, he brought his arms around, lifting a small, gilded box with an impossibly perfect handtied bow.

You took a step forward and took the box from him. Your eyes met his and he nodded, waving to fingers as confirmation that you should open it. You felt bad undoing such a perfect bow, but you were curious as to what it was. The elegant red ribbon fluttered to the ground, landing in a small heap by your feet. You lifted the top of the box and felt your cunt kick at the gift.

It was a butt plug and a small, nearly pocket sized bullet. Your fingertips traced over the butt plug – it was cold as it was made out of glass. The plug was deep red in color and the flared base ended with a marbled rose. It almost looked like a piece of art. A shiver went through your spine.

You looked up at Bryan once more; the look on his face was criminal. “It’s almost midnight.” You replied softly.

“Then we should find someplace where we can be alone then, hmmm?” Bryan replied.

You closed the box and offered your hand. “Lead the way.”

***

You were curious as to where Bryan was leading you. You followed him dutifully as he tugged on random doors by the ballroom you were in. Finally Bryan found an open door and he stuck his head in. He opened the door, holding it for you. “M’lady.”

“You sir are the furthest thing from honorable.” You snorted walking in, but not before thrusting the gift box into his chest.

Bryan made sure the door was locked after he closed it behind him. He caught up with you in a few paces and reached for wrist, stopping you in place. He pulled you close to him and captured your lips with his. The kiss was frenzied as you each grabbed handfuls of each other’s bodies, unable to decided where to touch first, wanting to touch every part of each other at once. His hands made way to your ass, grabbing the flesh before delivering a hard spank to it. You let out a moan as he reached around to the backs of your thighs, lifting you up in his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he walked to the back of the ballroom to the window.

The muffled sound of the party was in the background, but you did not care about that one bit as his lips locked onto the slope of your neck sucking another bruise. You let out a mewl of pleasure as his hands slid up your waist to the top of your dress, kneading and massaging your breast through your dress. He then pushed the neckline of your dress aside on each side, freeing your tits from its confines. Bryan’s mouth latched onto a nipple and you arched in his embrace. Your pert nipples endured licks from his tongue and then harder suckles from his warm mouth. Your pussy flooded with desire and it was safe to say that you were obscenely wet from Bryan’s actions, and he had only just begun.

You tugged on his dark hair, dragging his mouth from your breasts to your mouth, kissing him once more. Your tongues rolled over another’s until Bryan took control of the kiss, using his tongue to fuck your mouth.

Your palm slid down the front of his pants, stroking his clothed erection. “Please, fuck me.” You unabashedly begged. Bryan chuckled darkly as he spun you around and pressed you against the window. It was the same view as in the other ballroom and your mind was spinning as you came to terms of being fucked in front of all of Chicago in some sense.

Bryan pressed himself against you, rutting his cock against you, practically humping you in a futile attempt to give himself some relief from his own ache, which was throbbing against the seam of his zipper. You pushed back, desperate for more. Bryan flipped up the back of your dress, running his hands over the slope of your ass and used the tip of his shoe to spread your legs apart. He dropped to his knees and hooked his fingers on the flimsy straps of your lace thong, bringing it all the way to your ankles. He tapped your ankle and then the other, and you stepped out carefully. Bryan made sure your heels didn’t get caught and then once they were off, he took your thong – already ruined – and took a deep inhalation. Bryan growled and shoved your thong into his pocket. “I’ll be keeping these.” Bryan rumbled. “I’ll use them for the next time I jerk off.”

You shivered once more at his filthy words. “After me, you’ll never need to jerk off. My pussy belongs to you daddy. You can use me however you want, whenever you want.” You panted, wriggling your hips once more.

“Is that so?” Bryan asked, his voice delighted. “My personal fuck toy?”

“Yes.” You confirmed. “Yours.”

You gasped as you felt his beard scratch against the backs of your thighs, his tongue running an unhurried stripe from your clit up to your ass. Bryan’s palms were splayed out on your cheeks, spreading them wider. He used his fingers to part the lips of your hot cunt and buried his tongue, eating you as if he were a man having his last meal.  

You let out a cry of pleasure, grasping desperately at the window, your nails scraping. Bryan shook his head, lapping and flicking his tongue against your pussy, which was dripping. Your thighs were a mess of his saliva and your juices. He snaked his fingers and found your clit, rubbing haphazard circles on your swollen flesh. You rocked against him, desperate for more, desperate to be filled. Bryan gathered some of your juices on to the tips of his fingers, teasing your asshole. “This ass is going to look so good with your gift.” Bryan murmured. He removed his hands and you heard him open the box and then drop it back to the ground. Bryan snorted and then hocked a wad of spit into his hand in order to use it as lubricant. You felt the tip of the plug at your entrance and then Bryan sunk the plug inside of you as he sunk two fingers into your pussy. He let out his own groan of satisfaction at how easily they sunk in. You let out a wrecked moan, feeling the pressure of the plug give way to fullness.

You let out a groan, tipping your head back. Bryan let out a satisfied whistle and then stood. “Stay still.”

“Okay.” You managed to choke out, your voice was heady, filled with want. “I feel… so full.”

Bryan undid his cummerbund and then undid his fly, pushing his pants and boxers down in one movement. One hand gripped your hip, the other was on his cock, giving it a few strokes. He rubbed the tip of his cock against you slit, slicking his cock with your wetness. You recalled how he did that prior – and just that – before releasing into your panties and you wriggled back again, desperate.

Bryan paused and you tensed.

“What? Is there so—” You asked but you were cut off by the sound of buzzing in the room. You realized that Bryan had turned on the bullet. Bryan lined his cock with your entrance, you could feel the buzzing along the side of your hip. He dragged the head of his cock up and down your cunt, gathering your essence, then pushed the crown into you. Finally, with a snap of his hips, Bryan sunk into you, his cock hitting your cervix.  You groaned as he stretched you with his monstrously sized cock. You felt wonderfully full; there was a slight burn mixed with pleasure.

Your eyelids fluttered closed and you moaned loudly as his other arm, the one with the bullet in his hand, wrapped around and down you, settling on your clit.

He started to fuck you hard and fast. He was relentless, pounding you deeply; you were certain you would feel it the next day. You felt yourself clench around him, your orgasm building furiously. Keeping his one hand on your clit, he used his other to sink his fingers into your updo and tug hard. You cried out at the edge of pain and your cunt clenched around his cock.

“Oh God, Bryan - I think I am going to —" the words were caught in your throat.

“That’s it kitten. Cum on this cock, cream for daddy.” Bryan grunted, as he pounded your pussy deep and hard. Beads of sweat dropped off his forehead. You came hard, wailing his name and as the tendrils of your orgasm washed over you, you were distantly aware of fireworks going off in front of you.

“Yes!” Bryan hissed. “Fuck, fuck!” His hips quickened and you knew he was going to cum soon. Bryan thrusted harder and faster, in and out of your pussy. The pressure of the bullet on your clit deepened and his other hand pressed into your hips so much so that you were certain there would be bruises.

“Oh shit, I am going to cum Y/N. Take that cum!” Bryan growled as he stiffened, releasing into you. You could feel his cock pulsing inside of you. Bryan gnashed his teeth together, letting out a sound akin to something animalistic and primal as if he was marking you as his. You could feel some of Bryan’s come drip out despite still being connected and that trigged another orgasm and you cried out again.

Bryan pulled out of you and you barely had a second to come back down when his mouth was on your pussy again, lapping the mix of your release and his. The bullet was tossed to the side, no longer needed. He stood up and jerked your chin and pressed a hard, deep kiss into his mouth. Bryan pushed the mixture of your and his release into your mouth and you groaned in pleasure, taking delight in the filthy kiss.

He broke the kiss briefly to command you to swallow and you did.

You went to kiss him again but missed as Bryan sunk back down on his knees, resuming his oral fixations on your cunt. You ran your hands through his dark hair as he propped a heeled leg onto his shoulder. “I want one more – I want the big one.” Bryan sunk two fingers into you and crooked them in a come hither motion, stroking against your g-spot. You felt the familiar pressure surge and you cried out as you began to squirt. He rubbed your clit with his whole palm, not caring that he got soaked in the process.

“Fuck Bryan, oh God, oh fuck!” You shouted, with the last word’s syllables being stretched out.

You stood there panting, a complete and utter mess.

Bryan slowly pulled out, gently putting your leg down. Bryan stood and fixed himself. He pulled you close to him and kissed you softly. You wrapped your arms around him and leaned into the kiss. You felt his hand trace the curve of your ass and then reach into your cheeks and pull out the plug.

You broke the kiss, shuddering. Bryan reached into his pocket and pulled out your panties and then wrapped the plug in it. You bent to pick up the bullet and handed it to him and that was further wrapped with the plug. Bryan shoved all three items back into his pocket.

“Should we go back to the party?” You asked as you both walked back out, your voice hoarse from all the orgasms that Bryan ripped out of you. You both could hear Auld Lang Syne being sung from the ballroom inhabited by all of STR Laurie.

Bryan scoffed. “Fuck no – lets go finish this party at my place.”

“Sounds perfect.” You replied. “Lets go.”

“My car is out front.” Bryan replied. He wrapped his arm around your waist as you made your way back out to the cold Chicago air. Fireworks continued to go off above as you and him drove off into the night to continue the celebration.

FIN.

--

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[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update

it’s been a hot minute since the last time I posted one of these, because things refuse to stop happening and I’ve recently felt like my brain was completely breaking down. focusing on any kind of reading lately has been hard, and probably not helped by the fact that I decided to try to start off the year with some dense-ass academic texts. 

that’s been getting me nowhere fast, so I’m gonna say fuck that and focus on clearing out the fiction from my to-read list for the time being. 

what have I been reading?

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality (Jane Ward) - smart and punchy, always delightful to read research that presents cisheterosexuality as the strange Other to parse and make sense of. much like when I read Angela Chen’s Ace, I was equally excited about actually reading this book and about the future of queer nonfic that it represented.

Real Life (Brandon Taylor) - I’m not generally a contemporary lit fic kind of man, but maybe Brandon Taylor will be my exception? he captures the hypnotic tedium and introspection of my favorite short stories and makes it into a full-length novel without ever losing my interest, and that’s doing something. he seems to be sort of a publishing whiz kid right now, and I’m looking forward to seeing where his career is going.

When They Call You A Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir (Patrisse Khan-Cullors) - file this under ‘books to make you want to set some things on fire.’ 

The Traitor Baru Cormorant (Seth Dickinson) - ‘surely it can’t be as good as all that’ I thought. ‘it’s a fantasy about economics, where’s the fun in that?’ I thought. ‘nothing ever lives up to the hype,’ I thought. readers, I was delighted to be wrong. 

The Death of Vivek Oji (Akwaeke Emezi) - I’ve talked more than a little about how Emezi’s debut YA novel fell flat for me, but we’re right back on track with their second novel for adults. I think I might have liked it even more than Freshwater, which I didn’t think was possible, and in conclusion we have no choice but to stan.

Everyone on the Moon is Essential Personnel (Julian K. Jarboe) - very few short story collections are slam dunk winners all the way through, but also very few short stories are this screamingly queer and punky and weird, so it all balances out and I still very much consider this a win. I wish profoundly I’d written down the name of a few stories I liked in particular before I returned the book to the library but alas, art remains ephemeral and all that.

A Quick and Easy Guide to Sex and Disability (A. Andrews) - exactly what it says on the tin, which is to say, pleasant but not particularly in-depth. regardless, definitely not a bad one for any sex educator (or sex witch, as you do) to keep around, and if you don’t know shit about sex for disabled folks then give it a gander.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Rape (Sohaila Abdulali) - oofa doofa, what to say? I love this book for how refreshingly frank it is; Abdulali is a survivor and extends the utmost empathy to fellow survivors while refusing to be precious about rape, which kind of kicks ass. she’s also Indian and does a pretty solid job not grounding the book in an entirely Western context, which is rare to encounter in this type of literature, and overall it would be a big yeehaw from me if not for the book’s passive insistence that only men commit sex crimes, which is a particularly glaring oversight come from a bisexual author.

The Empress of Salt and Fortune (Nghi Vo) - exactly the novella I needed to get me out of my no-reading rut. short and sharp and delicious, a recollection of rebellion that I devoured in about a day. maybe this will be the year I get novellas!

what am I reading now?

Shades of Milk and Honey (Mary Robinette Kowal) - I literally just started this, like, 20 minutes ago, and I’m already obsessed even though I’m only a chapter deep. this is definitely for people who like Pride and Prejudice (hi) and also reminds me of Silvia Moreno-Garcia’s The Beautiful Ones, which I also devoured, so this should be an excellent time. 

[the-fandom-fuckup]

A bit more for that modern fantasy au I teased a bit ago

Character designs n stuff are slightly based off the official halloween n fantasy ending arts, plus whatever else I wanted to do, so Kiri is a dragon shifter here, Baku is a werewolf, n Ochako is a witch.

There'll probably be a hint of a/b/o dynamics here for weres n shifters, n the idea of alpha!Kiri n alpha!Baku has stuck to me like glue, so that's a thing here also

There's no real plot for this, just these three being dumb n pining, and everyone around them rolling their eyes n dealing with it lmao

I've thought about jobs n first meetings tho, n came up with this. Kiri's a firefighter (along with Tetsu, who is also a dragon shifter, bc I love him and their bro-bond), bc big fire resistent boy running into fires to help people just makes sense. Also I really like the thought of him in the uniform

Ochako works as a self defense instructor with Gunhead at a small gym in town, probably helping people with magic items n stuff on the side for extra cash or smth, I dunno. She might wanna move into a more magically dominant field one day, but she likes the environment of the gym n the regulars that come in n chat between classes. She's also very good at what she does n has put many assholes in their place after they've scoffed at "the cute little girl you have here".

Baku is a "park ranger", n I use quotations bc that's the only title he could really give himself to have any authority over the land he owns. He gives himself more leeway than what some laws may grant, tho tbh if you're coming into his territory with intent to harm those in it, you're lucky to walk away at all just sayin'

He runs an escape park of sorts for weres n shifters to run around during full moons and other times they need to shed their human skin, personally owned so he can avoid all the bullshit regulations n "safety procedures" found in bigger places that try offering the same thing, but ultimately make the shifting process shittier than it needs to be. And words gets around so it gets super popular super fast, n people of all ages come by

Tbh the thought of a teeny tiny wolf, like 10y/o at most running around Baku n trying to get him to play, nipping at his ankles n calling him the pack alpha is really what settled the debate on whether he should be an alpha or omega. And the added image of Baku rolling his eyes n putting on his toughass act but not really minding it as he gets them moving with a tap on the ass, muttering "Fuckin told ya squirt, I'm not your pack alpha. Now find someone else's ankles to bite at, I'm busy", makes me feel really nice

For some first meetings, tbh Kiribaku probably happens first, n they meet when Kiri n Tetsu accidentally trespass on Baku's territory bc they're new to the area n found a big ass lake to soak in during a flight over town, like dude!! Fuck yea that could fit both of us easy, man I haven't soaked in my big form in forever lets go!

And ofc if the giant shadows overhead hadn't tipped him off the security sensors would've so Baku's like who in the FUCK!! N storms off to confront them bc you don't just come on his land like that. That's how people get fucking hurt you dumb assholes 😤😤

N Kiri n Tetsu are mostly just minding their own business, settling down into the lake like aw yea that's the shit, almost passing out bc they'd just had a long day n the water was so cool n the fish eatting the dead skin n shit off their scales was so relaxing. They don't even realise they'd drifted into a light doze when they hear furious snarling n harsh sniffing coming their way, n barely have enough time to get up before Baku comes tearing shit through the trees

And like. Kiri n Tetsu know that they're big boys. Their full sized dragon forms are huge n there's not much out there that scares them, but nobody likes coming face to face with a snarling werewolf, standing in their territory without any warning that you maybe shouldn't be there

Despite the hostile intro, it doesn't take much for the misunderatanding to be cleared up. There's a lot of apologies from Kiri n Tetsu n a lot of irritated snorts from Baku, but they get straightened out. Baku tells them what kinda show he's running n Kiri inatantly get sparkly eyes like dude!! You do that all by yourself?! That's so manly bro you gotta let us help with that

Baku snorts like you don't have to make empty offers if you wanna use the grounds, I don't refuse people unless they pose an actual threat to the others. You guys aren't dangerous, just stupid. N Kiri goes hey rude, but also it's gotta be a lot dealing with all that on your own. We can at least watch out from above, keep an eye on shit or whatever bc face it man, you may be great but even you can't be in multiple places at once.

And the only reason Baku ends up agreeing is bc they pester him about it until he's well past irritated, n he's figured out the only way to shut them up was concede. They can't be there fulltime anyway consudering their professions, but they're sure to help when they can

Kirichako meet at the gym. Kiri's buying a membership or smth bc you gotta keep the stength up bro! Can't be slacking when you're the difference between someone living n someong dying y'know? Ochako's either in a class or dealing with some hothead, her furrowed brows n puffed cheeks distracting Kiri n reminding him of a chipmunk before bud says smth he can't hear but has Ochako seeing red. It doesn't take long for him to end up on his ass n Kiri's just stuck watching, jaw dropped n heart eyes as Ochako tells the guy he can either fix his attitude or find somewhere else to go

Kiri turns to Tetsu like dude holy shit did you see that?? N Tetsu's like yea bro everyone saw it, n Ochako comes up to them like sorry about that. We have a no harassment policy here that some people overstep, n it sucks that we get people coming in that need it enforced but unfortunately it's pretty common.

Then, bc she's still a bit sour, she looks them both dead in the eyes with a fire raging behind hers like if that's not smth you think you can handle then you might as well save us all the hassle n leave now. N they're both like no way that was great, totally understandable, just tell us where to sign

And while she came off as kinda aggressive during their initial meet, Kiri's quick to find she has just as much sweetness to match her bite. He watches her between sets sometimes n sees how kind n gentle she can be with the younger classes that come in, how she doesn't single out people who struggle n instead moves to help n provide tips without making a huge deal of it

She's also one of the first people to come running when someone gets hurt, he finds out. He'd admittedly been more focused on her sparring with Gunhead than he'd been on the super heavy equipment he was using for his reps, n managed to look over at the perfect time to get flustered n drop it directly on his foot. The resounding crack was loud enough to catch quite a bit of attention, tho he knows the equipment is more likely to be damaged than his foot

Ochako doesn't even hesitate to run over n levitate him to take the pressure off of his not broken foot, going "oh my god are you okay?? Someone clear that bench please, he needs to get off his feet now!" N Kiri does appreciate the concern, as embarassing as it may be, n tries to tell her it's really not a big deal, thanks for the help but honestly--

N she rounds on him like say that one more time n you'll be dealing with a broken nose instead, now sit your ass down n let me handle this!! Kiri can't even reply with anything other than a quiet okay😳😳 bc he's always thought her determination was super admirable, but being this close n seeing it burn in her eyes so intensely is taking it to a whole new level n he has no clue how to handle it

Kacchako meeting is kind of a hybrid mix of the other two combined lmao. Baku owns a pack house where he lives with Deku, then later with Kiri, Tetsu, Mina, Kami, n Sero, but he's so busy with the park that he's hardly ever home. N since Ochako's kinda embarassed about her tiny ass appartment, they usually hang out at the pack house to talk over magic studies or gossip over whatever's happened recently. At this point Baku n Ochako have heard of each other but never been around at the same time

Which causes a problem one day while Ochako's in the kitchen making tea when Baku comes home. He'd had a stressful day warding off poachers or smth, n his rut's just a few days away now, so when he opens the door n is greeted with a slightly unfamiliar scent it sends him into a daze, where he stalks to the kitchen before he even knows that he's moving

Ochako knows tho, can hear the low growls and deliberately quiet steps creeping behind her, setting her on edge bc ohhhh my god, someone just broke into Deku's place holy shit!! And when it gets close enough to barely feel hot breath on the back of her neck she's flinging herself into action, all muscle memory as she gets a few quick jabs into Baku's gut. It knocks the question outta his lungs, getting out a choked "who the--" before her magic kicks in and she's picking him up n slamming him down with his weight returned for maximum momentum, body slamming the following "fUCK!!" out as well before she placed her weight on him to keep him down. She gets right in his face demanding "who are you?! How did you get in here?!"

And when he can breathe again Baku snaps back like "who tf am I?!? I live here!! Who tf are you?!?!" And like, she's still in fight mode so she's looking him over like hmm, so this is Bakugou. Then she realises wtf she's doing n goes oh my god it's Bakugou!! N she's jumping off him and apologising so fast that she's barely saying words, trying to take his hands n help him back up but getting swatted away bc you've done enough touching don't you think??

And yea, Baku's kinda pissed. Being attacked in your own house does that to anyone, let alone a pre-rut alpha. But also, he's kinda impressed, bc he can count on one hand the amount of people who've gotten the drop on him like that, but he'd rather die than admit it out loud. So he just huffs at her with a final "try that shit again n I'll kill you", n stalks off to his room, having more important things to worry about right then than who's fucking around in his kitchen

((His rut decides to be completely unhelpful that time around, his alpha brain locking in on the faint perfume she'd left on his shirt while tossing him around and how perfectly it mixed with his own scent, as well as the shirt he nabbed from Kiri's laundry basket the night before. He rubs the scents of these strong potential mates all over his den, knots his rut aid with his face plastered to the shirts then uses it to scent the shirts even more, drunk off of how well their scents all mix together. He's rightfully embarassed during the end when he can start thinking properly again n throws both shirts to the back of his closet to be forgotten about--as much as his alpha fights him on it--n moves on to his business like normal.

Tho if he tries to be home more often when he knows Ochako's coming around, n spends more time in Kiri's space, nobody's mean enough to comment on it. At least, not at first.))

Man I have many feelings about this, but I'll leave it here for now bc I could go on forever

[teacherintransition]

A Swift Kick in The Ass

The “Big Leap” or “Teacher in Transition” isn’t just a one time move that won’t ever need re-thinking… DO NOT settle in or rest on your laurels…

This gig only works if you keep challenging yourself…

“He not busy being born is busy dying…”

Bob Dylan

It is almost a year ago that I made the move; THE decision…retirement. It was a frightening series of contemplations that I worked over and over in my mind. Analysis and re-analysis, thinking what success would look like, what failure would mean; seeking advice dealing with the nay sayers that were just in my mind alone. You would not believe the entitlement to intrude that so many people think they have; it is beyond infuriating. “A person should work until at least sixty five… but a teacher is what you are … do you realize how much time there is to fill? … idle hands are the devil’s workshop (yes, I really got that one) … you won’t be able to afford it … isn’t retiring kind of selfish?” My responses followed: 1. What if you don’t make it to sixty five 2. I am a teacher and so much more 3. Yes and I’ll be filling it my way 4. Oh boy I hope so 5. Mind your business 6. Yes … yes it is selfish and we are all due that time. I could easily silence the unrequested advice with some Latin

“…vos manseritis in me, et vivat anima mea subjugale mutum animal,”

Throughout this year, I’ve shared advice regarding the best way to use time during this stage in life. The main points being: discover your loves, your skills and your dreams. I’ve never advocated throwing caution to the wind; well, maybe some, but a plan and goals were always part of the picture. With blind faith, I extolled the rewards of being able to finally pursue the dreams that were put on hold while you worked to pay bills. After a year has passed, I can deliver a verdict… it has been amazing.

Though Covid has altered everyone’s plans, for the most part, I’ve been able to accomplish many of my goals and some I never considered. My blog writing has taken off better that I expected; I’ve created a small online business and have sold more art in nine months than I have in my entire life; I’ve been published; I’ve done volunteer work for a dog rescue organization; I’m part of an international organization that promotes Scottish history; I walked 2 to 3 miles a day; I’ve tutored college students and more than these things have became accomplishments. I’ve read voraciously and during the middle of the summer, I plan to start my storytelling podcast. So, everyone lives happily ever after? …huh? …NO.

This is the trap I’ve fallen victim to recently. A satisfying retirement plan isn’t and cannot be a one and done. Yes, you must always ask yourself, “what’s next!” If you do a couple of great things and leave it at that; all you’ve done is take one more step than the guy who moved from work to the rocking chair. Like any rut or lifeless routine in life, one can easily get trapped if you’re not careful. My dalliance into despair started with a long cold I acquired during our “snowmageddon.” The cold kept me miserable for six weeks… my energy was sapped. The despair was further reinforced by the Covid rescheduling of two trips to Europe that have been in the planning for more than two years. It was the second year that Covid caused this and it was a real blow. Unbeknownst to me, I was allowing these disappointments to be excuses to slow down and feel pity. These are to be avoided at all costs… trust me, when you are the goal setter and your not setting any, things can get dreary quickly.

Without question, the benefits of being your own person can also be its drawbacks. You are in charge of keeping the ship afloat when things go wrong or they slow down. Disruptions can be more jolting when your 9 to 5 isn’t worked out for you. Ideas started slowing down and my mood took a downward turn. I could feel it … less than a year into this and I could feel the gears gumming up. It was apparent that I needed a swift kick in the posterior, the back of my front, the Gluteus Maximus, … I needed a kick in the ass! This kick would be delivered by a 4” 11’ veteran nurse of thirty three years… my wife.

There is always second guessing involved with this gig, can’t be avoided. Early in May, I was approached to apply for an Art teaching job at one of my former places of employment. Yes, I was considering… UNRETIREMENT! I spoke with my wife about it one afternoon and she hastily followed up with, “you want to do what?” Elaboration followed and was met again with, “you want to do what?” with an additional, “why are you even thinking that?” I explained to her what my mood was like of late and that I felt unfocused. Kim patiently reassured me that financially we were doing fine, but more to the point, she shared her observation that she hadn’t seen me so at ease and less stressed in many years and felt I was overreacting. To wit, I overreacted further and set up an interview. It went great, I was on my game, I still had it.

Later that afternoon, we were driving to Conroe to visit my brother and take one of our rescue dogs to a vet. Being quite coy, I revealed to Kim that I had gone to an interview and disappointment filled her facial expression. She asked, “well, how did it go?” “I killed it… it was out of the park!” She didn’t share my enthusiasm but did share some wisdom. She told me that I knew this would be tough making the change going into it and there was bound to be some rough spots. Kim was very aware that I missed my students tremendously, but she also knew how much I had accomplished. We talked on the drive down about things I had planned and that disappointment was inevitable and temporary. She reminded me that it had been a long time since she had seen me happy.

Then she did it … moved in on the power play, “haven’t you wanted to write a book?” Sheepishly I replied, “well, uh yeah … I guess.” For the rest of the drive, we fleshed out the book I wanted to write. I have started writing the book. This task wasn’t even on the radar when I thought of retiring; seven chapters and forty seven pages have been written in less than a week. It doesn’t matter if it’s not a best seller, it’s from my soul which had been darkened a bit the past few months. I knew and my wife knew I had a fire to create and she wasn’t going to let me forget. Ass kicked… in the best way possible.

Setbacks are inevitable and effort can be tough to keep going sometimes, but it’s always worth it. Whether it’s raising your kids, paying the mortgage or helping direct a lost kid, the best things in life are rewarding because of the struggle in accomplishing them. A rocking chair doesn’t require much effort keep the fire stoked.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball GT Retrospective (4/7)

[Note: This was originally written on January 13,2013.  I embedded YouTube videos on each part, including several Evanescence AMVs, but Tumblr won’t cooperate with that for some reason.   Just look them up yourself.]

Today I'd like to talk about the Super 17 Saga.  It sucks, but it's short.   Man, there's an Evanescence AMV for this too?  I'm starting to see why that Daredevil movie was so poorly received.  Starring Ben Affleck!   Soundtrack by Every Fifteen-Year-Old on YouTube!

From what I've read, Episode 41 was supposed to have been the finale of Dragon Ball GT, but the show got renewed and so it chugged along for another 23 installments.  I don't know if the post-Baby storylines were rushed, per se, but it does sort of feel like Toei was caught flat-footed.   For one thing, the opening credits still kept using the same animations of Goku, Pan, and Trunks flying around in space, looking for Black Star Dragon Balls, and fighting Baby.  Well, the outer space adventures are over, the Black Star Dragon Balls are gone, and Baby's friggin' dead.  Hell, Trunks even gets kicked out of the main cast.   From here on out It's all Goku and Pan with a little Vegeta now and then.   Also, I think the Super 17 Saga feels like a kneejerk reaction.  "They ordered more shows, what do we do?   Shit... uh, let's just bring back all the bad guys from the old series!"   For a Dragon Ball Z fan, watching GT for the first time is like getting whiplash because they kept switching the premise around.   The whole point of the first two dozen episodes was that they were abandoning the DBZ formula and trying to do old school Kid Goku stories in outer space.  Then they spend another dozen episodes setting up a Goku vs. Vegeta fight with new power-ups.   By Episode 42, the series has given up any ambition of offering a distinct flavor or vision.   It's settled into a rut of doing lame comedy and watered-down superhero fights.   So first off, Episode 41 is about the latest World Martial Arts Tournament.   Goku used to compete in these things, but after he won the tournament he let everything that happened in DBZ distract him from the event, and during that time Mr. Satan became the multi-time World Champion.   The gag with Mr. Satan is that he has no super powers whatsoever, and while he's a brilliant martial artist, he only dominates the competition because all the super-fighters lost interest in the event.  By the end of DBZ, Goku and Mr. Satan's kids got married, so now they rig the tournament like some kind of kung fu mafia: Whoever wins the tournament has to fight Mr. Satan to actually claim the championship, and that person always agrees to take a dive.  By the end of DBZ, the Z-fighters are comfortable letting Mr. Satan serve as a figurehead hero to the people of Earth, while they do all the actual daysaving.  By the GT-era, Satan is now in his mid-fifties, and feels comfortable retiring and passing the torch to someone new.   He tries to rig the event so his grandaughter Pan can win, but she withdraws for fear that she'll be required to wear his ring gear and mustache if she wins.   Goku wanted to compete, but Mr. Satan convinces him to fight in the junior division because he's too short.   Ultimately, it's Uub who wins the tournament, but at the last moment he freezes and Mr. Satan actually eliminates him cleanly.  The reasons for this are complicated, and so I gotta explain Majin Buu.   The final bad guy of Dragon Ball Z was Majin Buu, a genie who could absorb the personalities and traits of his enemies.   This ability eventually caused him to split into two Buus, a good fat Buu and an evil version who went on to be the main villain.  The good Buu made friends with Mr. Satan, and was instrumental in preserving his stranglehold on the World Championship.   The evil Buu was killed by Goku, who wished that he could be reincarnated as a good guy so they could fight again.   Goku's wish came true, and the evil Buu was indeed reincarnated as a young human boy named "Uub" (get it?).   Goku quickly took the boy as his student so he could train him for a rematch and groom him as his successor.   You'd expect that Uub would have been a major player in Dragon Ball GT, but instead he barely ever shows up, and when he did finally make his big move to stop Baby he got his ass kicked.   Fortunately for him, the good Majin Buu stepped in and recombined with Uub, transforming him into "Majuub".   Majuub still got his ass kicked by Baby, but at least he made him work for it.   The point of all this is that Majuub consciously wanted to beat Mr. Satan for the World title, but unconsciously, the part of him that was once Mr. Satan's BFF wanted to let his old pal have the glory one last time.   This is sort of a problem with DBGT.  I meant the show has tons and tons of problems, but this is one that I think deserves more attention.   There's a certain fatalism to the series, because even if it isn't the final act for these characters, they're all older and half of them got 9-to-5 jobs and so forth, so it's clear that things are winding down.   To that end, it makes sense that GT would see the deaths of some of the major characters, but they're all kind of cheap death scenes.  Majin Buu doesn't die so much as he just merges with another iteration of himself.   Mr. Satan misses him, but only because he doesn't understand what's happened.   Piccolo dies, but it was a stupid and pointless sacrifice as I explained last time.   In any event, he shows up later on in the afterlife, so it's not like he's actually gone.   Then there's Krillin, but I don't want to get ahead of myself.   Mr. Satan retaining his title is a variation on the theme.    He talks about retiring, but when the moment arrives, he can't bring himself to step out of the limelight.   In a similar vein, one could argue that Dragon Ball GT should have been mainly about Uub and Pan as the successors to Goku and Gohan, but Goku just couldn't walk away from the action.   Anyway, with that business resolved, the Super 17 Saga can get started.   Basically, it's like the Batman stories where a bunch of villains break out of Arkham Asylum, except all the worst offenders in Dragon Ball are dead, so they have to literally escape from hell.  The plan begins when Dr. Myuu is recruited by Dr. Gero.  Again, it really feels like Toei was just trying to come up with something on the fly, and they decided Gero and Myuu's resemblance was a feature instead of a bug.    Myuu designed the Machine Mutants in the early episodes of GT, and Dr. Gero created the android villains in DBZ.   They're both doctors and they both wear silly hats and long, bushy mustaches.  Also, both of them were betrayed.   Gero was killed when Android 17 turned on him, while Myuu was killed by his creator Baby.   Gero's plan is to work together with Myuu to correct that whole "betrayal" thing that made Android 17 backfire.   Android 17 is still alive on Earth, but if the two doctors build another Android 17 in hell, they can.... harmonize their subspace... tachyons.... resonance.   Something.   All I know is they somehow managed to build an exact duplicate of 17 in hell, so apparently they have hardware stores in hell.   Dragon Ball has never been very consistent about how hell works.   In theory, a dead bad guy is stripped of his corporeal form and he languishes in hell as a disembodied spirit until he's finally allowed to be reincarnated in a new identity.    That's why Frieza can't just beat everyone up and conquer the afterlife.   But Toei always liked the idea of dead bad guys stirring up trouble, so they kept depicting them with their bodies in hell, complete with their full powers.  Dr. Gero was a cyborg, and I think they let him keep his robot body in hell, even though Frieza didn't get to keep his own cyborg implants.   Go figure.   For that matter, I'm pretty sure Dr. Myuu is purely mechanical, so I'm not convinced he'd even be in hell to begin with.    But somehow he and General Rildo are there.    So if Machine Mutants have souls, why isn't Baby there with the other villains?   He's the strongest one, so wouldn't it make more sense to rebuild a stronger version of Baby and use him in the big revenge plan?  Realistically, Toei probably left Baby out deliberately because they just killed him off, but that's why you don't do a story like this right after killing off a major villain. The point of all of this is that "Hell Fighter 17" and "Not Dead Yet 17" are mentally linked because they're basically the same unit in two bodies.   They both fire some sort of energy beam in unison, and this allows them to open a portal connecting Hell and Earth.   It's just sort of implied that the original Android 17 was mind-controlled for all of this, because he's the guy who sent Dr. Gero to hell in the first place, so I doubt he'd willingly endorse a plan to help him get out.   Gero and Myuu send a bunch of dead villains to invade Earth, and they issue a challenge to Goku: Come fight Cell and Frieza in Hell, or we'll send them to Earth too to make the situation even worse.   Goku is eager for a rematch with his old archenemies, even though he's gotten far, far stronger while they've been puttering around the afterlife all this time.   He stupidly flies through the portal, only for Gero and Myuu to close it from the outside.   So now Goku's trapped in Hell and most of his enemies are  causing trouble on Earth.   One of the first episodes of GT I ever saw was #43, because it came on a bonus DVD packaged with a strategy guide for a DBZ videogame.  This was the episode where Goku fights Cell and Frieza in Hell, and I guess they put it on the DVD because it seemed like the best possible choice to promote the new show to DBZ fans.  Cell's my favorite character in the show, so this has gotta be good, right?   Well I watched the episode and quickly realized that GT sucks ass.   First of all, it's been 43 episodes and Goku's still stuck as a child.   He can turn into a Super Saiyan 4 and blow Cell and Frieza away in one hit, but he never does this.   Hell, he could annihilate them in one of the lower Super Saiyan forms.    But this is GT, and GT-logic demands that any preliminary fight be fought in base-form.   Never mind that Goku had to go Super Saiyan the first time he fought these guys.   Now he's fighting them at the same time, with a smaller body, and he wants to do it in normal form.   Frieza and Cell act like they're gonna curbstomp Goku because they have scary new ghost powers, and they can't be killed themselves because they're already dead.   But the reality is that Goku makes them look like idiots because he won't even bother powering up to fight them.  Up your ass, Dragon Ball GT.   At one point, Cell tries to absorb Goku with his scorpion tail, which doesn't even make sense because Cell only absorbs Androids whole, and he doesn't need to absorb anything anymore because he's in his final form.   Goku simply forces his way out of Cell's ass.   Later, Goku defeats Cell and Frieza using a snowblower.   I wish I was kidding.  It's some kind of magic snow blower, designed to freeze dead people, but it's still stupid.  Cell deserved better.   Meanwhile on Earth, the other bad guys get their asses destroyed because they're all incredibly outclassed by the good guys.  Seriously, most of the villains from Dragon Ball were just mercenaries in helicopters and shit.   They were fine at the time, but now all the good guys can throw mountains and shoot lasers from their hands.  They're treated like cannon fodder, and rightfully so, but it kind of makes you wonder what the point of all this was.   I always appreciated the fact that DBZ villains have to die because they're obsolete after their first loss.  The good guys always train and get stronger, so if they were to come back for revenge they'd just be at an even bigger disadvantage.   It's kind of neat to see Nappa come back and confront Vegeta for killing him, except Vegeta's like a thousand times stronger than he was the first time he killed him.   The lame thing is that a handful of the villains might have had a chance, but Toei screwed them over.   Trunks and Goten shoot down Android 19 with hand energy.   Well, fine, they're probably strong enough to do that, except #19 was built with the power to absorb energy blasts.  If a good guy kicked his head off or something I'd be fine with it, but they went for the one quick-kill scenario that made the least amount of sense.  Captain Ginyu can switch bodies, so if he played his cards right he could trade up and be a contender again.   I don't think they even used him in the story, though.  A lot of these guys would have been better off running away from the battle and hiding out somewhere.   I mean, if you're a human bad guy, you could just slip away in the confusion and if you can stay out of trouble for a few days, you're home free.  You'd think most of these rank and file guys would rather have a new lease on life than revenge on some goofy kid they only met once.   Once the villain army is wrapped up, Gero and Myuu sic Hell Fighter 17 on Vegeta, while the original #17 wanders off and tries to seduce his twin sister, Android #18.   I'm not really sure what his motives are exactly, but he does some sort of hypnotic thing to her, but when Krillin snaps her out of it, he kills him, then attacks 18 when she objects.  Maybe Gero wanted to use 18 in his plan, or this was 17's personality trying to fight his programming, but whatever.   Guess how Vegeta fights Hell Fighter 17.   If you said "base form", congratulations, you understand GT-Logic.   Gero and Myuu summon the other Android 17 to the battle, and they combine them together to make "Super Android 17", a taller, more eyebrow-deficient version.   Super 17 basically no-sells everything, and his secret weapon is that he can absorb energy from his opponents, just like #19 could do, except it actually works.   Vegeta, Trunks, Goten, Gohan, and Majuub all take turns getting their asses kicked, then they finally power up and do it all over again.   I should point out that the original, non-super, one-at-a-time 17 was more than a match for a Super Saiyan back in the day, and yet they all had to try fighting him in base form, just in case it suddenly works this time.  The whole thing is a pointless debacle, because we all know Super 17 is too strong for anyone but Goku to fight, so we're just marking time until he can show up to save the day.   Fortunately, Piccolo has an idea to free Goku, but he's stuck in heaven because he's a good guy.   The guy in charge of that sort of thing refuses to send Piccolo to hell, so Piccolo starts blowing shit up to deserve the punishment.  Once he arrives in hell, Piccolo starts duplicating the Android 17 thing.   He and Dende time their energy beams just right, and that creates a polaron inversion that realigns the warp field coils, allowing Goku to jump back to Earth.  Piccolo is unfortunately stuck in Hell now, but he gets to spend all his free time beating up bad guys, so he's probably happier that way.   Goku finally comes to the rescue and shockingly transforms to fight Super 17.   The only beef here is that he starts out in Super Saiyan.........1, the same form Vegeta used when he got his ass kicked.  After a short warmup, he finally gets down to business and whips out SSJ4.   The weird thing is that Super Saiyan 4 was GT's signature thing, and yet they barely ever let Goku use it.   It's like they were embarrassed or something.  It doesn't really matter anyway, because Super 17 can just absorb Goku's energy no matter how strong he is, so Goku gets beaten just as easily as his weaker allies.   I should point out that, along the way, Super 17 turned on both Dr. Gero and Dr. Myuu.   In Gero's case, Myuu secretly programmed Super 17 to only follow his own orders, but then he later blows up Dr. Myuu in an act of defiance, so it probably would have come to that no matter what.   The only thing that stops Super 17 is his sister. 18 shows up at the critical moment and demands revenge in spite of the odds.  Her rejection of what 17 has become stirs his original personality, and he manages to sabotage himself just enough that Goku can use 18's attack as a diversion and defeat him with a Super Dragon Fist.   For no obvious reason, 18 tears her blouse during this scene.   GT.  Logic.   So the saga ends as it began, with a character taking a dive to let a weaker character win.  Not that I was rooting for Super 17 or anything, but it doesn't really make Goku look special when he can't even fight his own battles.   On the other hand, Android 17 is finally, definitively killed, after years of being in a sort of limbo where no one really knew what had happened to him.  It's really the only death scene they let stick, so I guess I have to give some credit there.   The interface of hell and Earth causes environmental problems, so Goku resolves to find the Dragon Balls and use them to restore the Earth and resurrect Krillin.  Unfortunately, all seven Dragon Balls are cracked.   These are the good old Red Star Dragon Balls, by the way, the ones that don't blow up the Earth when you use them.   At least, they used to be reliable... NEXT: Breakin' my balls

[iphoenixrising]

Masterlist v3

(It’s been a few months, so I thought this might be in order. Updated yet fricking again gaaaah!

AO3: Fracture (fanart!); Distractions, Forward Momentum (Avengers)

Tumblr

Poison-Basil’s Art:

iPhoenixrising (my wonderfully talented artist/writer babe literally made my spirit animal)

Fracture Chapter 1: It’s Tim asleep on the bathroom floor where Dick and Jay find him (God, it’s amazing >.<)

Fracture Chapter 29: The intense almost between Dick and Red

BABE MADE ME A WHIRLYBIRD

Detective!Dick, Red Hood!Tim au Art

Dr!Tim Art!!

No Home for Dead Birds: (Eventual Conner/Bart/Tim maybe)

Chapter I

Chapter II

Drabble

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Chapter VII

Chapter VIII

Chapter IX

Chapter X p1

Chapter X p2

Kon’s Drabble

Warning for mentions of suicide

NHDB What-If

The Red Hood

Dick Grayson

The Last Titan Standing

Redux (NSFW)

Tumblr Ask: Tim/Kon/Bart; warning for abuse of TTK, super-powers, and literally making Tim scream. All kinds of NSFW.

Chapter XI

What’s In a Name?

Tumblr Ask: Pride Parade

*Night Call (Tim/Jay Stripper Verse AU):

Part 1

Part 2 (NSFW)

Final Part: 3

*DC AOB Attempt (Omega Tim/ Alpha Dick/ Alpha Jay. Very Porn with Plot and Angst):

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6: The Demon’s Head: (Warnings: Tim/Ra’s non-con but the journey and subsequent revenge are oh so sweet.)

Part 7: Probably Finale with @satire-please

Ask from Tumblr: The Heat Fallout: (I wrote a follow-up to this…but it’s terrible and sweet, and I just never posted it >.<)

Ask from Tumblr: Two Alphas in Rut and one cute Omega (Very NSFW)

Ask from Tumblr: Pregnancy Scare

Ask from Tumblr: Bonding and Shit

Shameless PWP from Tumblr: Vibrators and whatnot      

Tim wearing the ‘Eat Me’ shirt Ask  

AOB Ask: Two Times Tim’s Alphas Needed Him and the One Time He Needed Them (some smut ensues; also part of the 500 Follower Post)

*Marvel AOB Attempt (Omega Tony/ Alpha Bucky/ Alpha Steve):  

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Night Sky (Possible future to the Fracture Verse, Tim/Older!Dami)

Ask

Drabble

Part 1

Part 2 (NSFW)

Part 3

Finale ( Warnings for things like Robinpiles and NSFW; that said, I’m absurdly proud of this smut)

Destroyed (a multiverse conglomeration of Bad Ass!Tim in a world where the Insurgents took over the planet):

Part 1

Part 2  (NSFW)

Part 3

(What if Tim doesn’t leave from Tumblr)

Justice is Blind AU (Blind!Tim):

Part I

Part II

Drabble

Ask fic

Part V

Drabble (beware of Superbats)

Angsty stuff that kind of goes together? (Before NHDB, this is the ‘Tim isn’t forgiving your ass’ realm from my brain pan):

Clean

Drabble

Realize

Meeting

Mistake

Forward Momentum Things

(MCU Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes; eventual Steve/Bucky/Tony)

Forward Momentum Drabble

Coffee

Observation

Dr!Tim:

Dr!Tim au: How it all Began (light NSFW) 

Follow-Up Drabble

Dr!Tim Drabbles: The Mentor; The Suit; Med School drab

Dick Grayson’s acrobatic talent (surprise, it’s smut)

Dr!Tim Drabbles: Stephanie Brown and Batgirl

Dr!Tim Drabble: The Joker (I really enjoy playing around with the baddies sometimes and the Joker was an interesting character)

Playing around with Submissive Dr!Tim (so much NSFW)

Dr!Tim Safewords out Ask;  Follow-up: Drabble: Sub-Drop (adult themes)

Dr!Tim: London Bridge is Falling Down (Bad ass Tim and a little hurt/comfort at the end)

Missing Scene from “London Bridge” (cute and a little angsty with Hurt Dr.!Tim and the L-word)

Post London Bridge Ask (guest starring Tony Stark)

Meet and Greet

Cute Dr. Tim taking care of overwrought Dick Ask (NSFW; adult themes)

Dr!Tim Ask: Arkham Riot      

Dr!Tim and Fracture!Tim Ask  

Dr!Tim and Overly Protective Robin      

Dr!Tim PTSD Ask (on the 500 Followers post)        

Dr!Tim Drabble: Robin (also on the 500 Followers post. I’m absurdly proud of this nsfw and Dr!Tim getting one night in the cape. Bad ass Dr. Drake is no slouch.) Also with the help of THIS ASK!

Follower Posts!

100 Followers! Night Sky Drabble with Tim and Older! Dami; Sleeping Tim Drabble; MCU Steve/Bucky/Tony drabble Hurt/Comfort; Cross-over au! Where Dick and Jay admit their feelings to Tim; NHDB depressing drabble (Dick/Tim);  

200 Followers! Tumblr Ask about Tim having scars from his childhood rather than as a vigilante; Justice is Blind Drabble: Tim and Lady Shiva; NHDB Prompt, sad Dick/Tim; Sick!Tony ask; Sad Ask: Red Robin Posthumous Award

300 Followers!: AOB Drabbles: The Pack (Cass and Fear Toxin) and Mating Bite; Body Swap: The Follow-Up (which I wasn’t really happy with but oh well); Fracture What-If Continuation for Anon; Dr!Tim Drabbles: Jay/Tim Fluff and Smut

400 Followers! : Dr. Tim: The Birthday Present, Robin’s Redemption (such a play on them both), Cross-Over AU! (Marvel Universe and Tim gets a second chance at being Robin), The Suit (shameless Dick/Tim)

500 Followers! Masterpost

Future au!

Part I: Pre-Fracture Tim and a little bit of time travel. How is going to take the “Night Sky” verse? (An attempt at making Fracture go full circle)

Part II: Continuation of lost Future Bats, mentions of Superbats, and attempts at coddling.  

Bat Prompts and Drabbles:

Hard Fracture What-If (featuring BatDad and intense feelings; what if B had picked up Red after the Insurgents Battle and brought him back to the Cave right then and there? Watch your feels)

Space Salvagers AU (Jay/Tim)             

Soulmate thing: Robins

Bodyswap (Dick & Tim); Body Swap: The Fallout                         

Concussion Confessions

The night the Flying Graysons Died     

Firefly Cross-Over for Tim Drake Week (Jason is Mal; Dick is Inara; Tim is Simon; Cass is Tam; Steph is Wash; Roy is Zoe, etc)

Of Owfucks and Accents

Worth the Wait (for Travelallover’s birthday): Based on Robin #10 NSFW Dick/Tim

De-Aged Jay (based on fanart)

Stalker Photos  

Dick/Jay/Tim Fluff: Tim being Tim Ask                            

 Graduation (maybe Fracture Verse)

Hilarity ensues

Jay/Tim Praise Kink  (NSFW)

Soulmate Ask (from the 500 Follower Post) and follow-up long post

Venom/Demon! Jay (Warning: it’s smut. Tim/Dick/Jay)

Detective!Dick, Red Hood!Tim au (for my babe @poison-basil)

NSFW Drab based of @curdleddoodle​ amazing art

Dick/Tim/Dami: (Older!Dami, some angst, some fluff)

Drabble 1 Lazy Mornings

Drabble 2: Left Standing (Tim angst and feels)

Drabble 3 Ra’s al Ghul gets the memo

Drabble 4 (Dami feels)

Old Fracture Drabbles:

Superbats What-If

Convergence: Bringing together all the Tims. (Just an idea I played around with: Dr!Tim, Fracture Tim, Destroyed Tim, Justice is Blind Tim, and Detective Comics Tim)

Injury/Healing for Tim Drake week (hilarity ensues; Tim is thwarted by Dick’s Sixth Sense)                                  

Holidays:

Cute Holiday Cheer,

Sad What-Could-Have-Happened Prompt based off this

Angst:

A NHDB kind of Verse,

'What if Dick didn't catch Tim when he fell through the window' Prompt (aftermath of Character Death), 

Jason v. the Pit and then I saw this

Tim is going to keep kicking ass

“I’ve already forgiven you, but I won’t make the same mistake twice” Ask (Dick Grayson & Tim Drake)

Fooled You Tim/Ra’s Valentine’s Day thing

Subdue (Tim/Ra’s non-con; be careful if you read this, tagged for triggers)

Silence: (Dark!Jason Todd, Tim Drake. Warning: Major Character Death)

Heavy in Your Arms Part I  Jason Todd angst; Based off the song with the same title by Florence + the Machine

Heavy in Your Arms Part II  

Kid!Tim fics (The Tiny!Tim universe):

Window Seat

Kid!Tim is discovered

Tiny!Tim and the Fever

Tiny!Tim and the Secret (From the 500 Follower Post)

Talon!Tim

Ask in which the idea of Talon!Tim became a thing

Talon!au Ask (in which babe wrote most of the thing)

Mer!Dick, Mer!Jay

Ask 1 (Mainly NSFW)

Ask 2 (in which I like it better if they speak Mer language they can’t understand each other; breeding kink, NSFW)

Crossover: Avengers/Bats

Tim stays in the MCU

And goes out as Robin                    

Tony Stark being a bro

Early NSFW (Please be advised):

Need (first in the DCU)

Prompt:  “ Here’s a nice image for you. Jason has Tim bent over the counter...” (I was so new to Tumblr, I just threw it up as quote LOL)

Voltron: (They all stink, please see @satire-please for better stuff)

Team Dynamics

Left Behind

Waking

You Not the Lion

Miraculous Ladybug

Play : Shameless Adrien/Ladybug, MariChat, and Adrinette (if only I covered LadyNoir. Damn) with fake identity porn and hetero smut.

The Way to His Heart: Not smut! But, an adorb reveal fic. Since Marinette is the first to realize how starved Adrien is and sets herself on rectifying that problem. Cue the same for Chat Noir. The ensuing revelation is sweet with a touch of angst.

Non-Fiction stuff (I guess?)

Writing

Writing Choices

A little bit about Jason Todd’s mouth (just some ramblings about how his accent kind of evolved

[onlymorelove]

fic: Topographies of Desire (1/1)

Code Name: Prime Title: Topographies of Desire Universe: Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: T for mild cursing Pairings:   Steve Rogers x Tony Stark [Pre-Slash] Summary: When Tony looks at Steve, he wants to stay. (Character study for the scene when Steve and Tony say goodbye at the end of Avengers: Age of Ultron.)  Link to fic on AO3: here Written for the @capim-tinybang‘s 2018 Tiny Reverse Bang Amnesty Week || inspired by @skyeedom’s breathtaking  art

Author's Note: *waves hello* Since this takes place during the scene where Tony and Steve say goodbye at the end of Avengers: Age of Ultron, I have borrowed some lines of dialogue from the movie. This is a new fandom and a new ship for me. Also, because 2018 has thus far repeatedly kicked my ass on a personal level, it's been a while since I've written fic. Please feel free to comment; I'd love to hear your thoughts, whether you leave a smile, a frown, constructive criticism, or a poem. ;) All I ask is that you please remember that there is, in fact, a human being on the other side of the screen. Thank you for reading!

------

“I will miss you, Tony,” Steve says from beside him as they walk across the grass, and though there’s nothing particularly remarkable about his voice, Tony still can’t resist turning his head so he can peer at his face for just a moment—

(In a quicksilver flash of whimsy, he thinks of the Sirens luring ancient mariners to their deaths with their hypnotic voices. The thought flickers and vanishes.)

—to gauge Steve’s sincerity. That’s all. Not so Tony can admire the blue gleam of his eyes; the glitter of his lashes in the sunlight; the little ruts etched between the sandy, twin slashes of his eyebrows. Never that.

(He’d laugh at himself if he weren’t so pathetic.)

“Yeah?” There’s no hollow ache in his stomach and his chest when he thinks about leaving Steve there at the new Avengers facility. There isn’t, ok? “Well, it’s time for me tap out.” Relief that Steve hasn’t asked him to stay makes Tony a touch breathless.

If he— If he asks him to stay—if the words Don’t go slip out of that pretty, pink mouth, wrapped in a plea, not a command, Tony would maybe possibly definitely consider it; that would be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea.

Because if Steve is fire, Tony is gasoline, and Tony has just enough self-awareness to realize it would only take a single stray spark and he would gladly ignite.

They talk for a few minutes more about a simple life of family and stability.

When Tony looks at Steve, he wants to stay. When he looks at Steve, he wants to call his armor, suit up, and hit the sky, letting wind and distance create a buffer between him and the man wearing a uniform Tony designed for him. When he looks at Steve, Tony wonders just how strong the solid stretch of those broad shoulders is. He wants to test it—wants to curl up against Steve’s chest and make himself small, so small that neither the memory of his father’s alcohol-slick breath, the casual brutality of his father’s fists, nor Obi’s betrayal, can touch him.

Worst of all, he wants to tuck his head under Steve’s chin and breathe his secrets into the gentle cup of his collarbone.

I’m the man who killed the Avengers. I saw you all dead. I felt it. The whole world, too. Because of me. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t do all I could.

When Tony looks at Steve, it isn’t the legend or the super soldier he wants; it’s the man.

Tony tells Steve none of these things, though, glass-fragile inside, where no one can see it, shielding himself with a whitewater rush of words instead. Their conversation leaves Tony very happy he’s wearing shades. Hopefully, the tinted lenses hide enough of his eyes that Steve can’t sense the uncomfortable emotions roiling inside Tony.

In the end, Tony drives off, leaving nanofragments of himself back at the Avengers compound, whether Steve realizes it or not.

Back in his bedroom in Malibu, Tony unzips his bag and finds an unmarked manila envelope lying on top of his clothes. His fingers fumble with the metal clasp, and he rolls his eyes. “Fuck,” he mutters as he slides a single sheet of paper from the envelope and manages to catch its sharp edge with his finger. A red drop blooms blood-bright at the bottom right corner, just beneath the space where S. Rogers is inked in strong, neat script. Tony’s eyes track upward from that spot on the page, his pulse beating hard enough that he can taste it in the back of his throat.

Part of a forearm and all of a hand, long-fingered and short-nailed, graced with downy hair Tony can almost feel beneath his fingertips if he concentrates, are drawn in pencil, hyperrealistic, in the foreground. Steve’s hand. It reaches back toward the top of the page, fingers curved in an elegant arch Tony wants to travel with his lips, and gives the impression of stopping short of touching what’s sketched there: Tony himself lying on his side in a bed, legs bent and curled in like he’s hiding from something. 

A nubby, checkered blanket is pulled up over him, covering his entire body from his neck down. His hands, folded as if in prayer, lie caught beneath his cheek and a fat pillow. His mouth sits slightly open, lax and soft. But his eyes are closed, lashes and perhaps dark thoughts casting deep shadows on the thin skin below. His hair sticks up in jagged, haphazard spikes. All except for a thick chunk that’s somehow pulled low and comma-shaped over his forehead. Above the entire drawing hovers a dialogue bubble, and inside it reads, “I don't trust a guy without a dark side.” Words Tony remembers speaking to Steve when they were arguing about Ultron—and secrets.

It’s him. It’s him. It’s unmistakably him, lying in the bed he and Steve had shared at the Barton farm. Eyes closed, Tony permits himself a moment of weakness—allows his trembling fingers to trace over and across the paper, imagining Steve watching him sleep. Imagining Steve watching him and wanting to touch. But no, that can’t be right...

Tony bites his tongue until he tastes copper. Only then does he open his eyes. Ignoring his still full bag, he dashes out of his bedroom and to his workshop, where he locks himself in. The drawing he drops into a drawer that he locks. After five minutes, he unlocks and reopens the drawer, and with a heavy sigh and his mouth curled bitterly on one side, he removes the drawing and places it on one of his drafting tables.

Tony works. He calculates probabilities; draws schematics; welds and hammers; ignores JARVIS’ crisp Sir, Captain Rogers wishes to speak with you; drinks cup after cup of strong coffee; stays awake until his body decides for him. Then, and  only then, does he do what he’s been fighting so desperately not to do. He slumps over a table and sleeps, muscles twitching occasionally, head filled with images of Captain America’s broken shield and their friends’ broken bodies and finally, finally, finally Steve’s broken body and his even more fractured words: You could have saved us. Why didn't you do more?

---

Question for you, dear reader(s): How do you feel about the Avengers: Age of Ultron movie? 

[rhys-ravenfeather]

Hiatus Announcement

So, I know I said that I was trying to be more positive and happier this year but...I wasn’t able to sleep at ALL last night. 

Not after the sleepy time tea. Not after doing stretching exercises I found online. Not after journaling my thoughts. Not after reading six chapters of a book. Even the insomnia pills I’ve been taking on and off don’t always work (though to be fair it’s just a mild dosage), and everything I try just feels like a placebo. 

I’m going back to the clinic in a little bit, and I seriously hope that I can sort this out and be happy again, or at least find sleep...but this has been going on for about a month now. Yeah, depression, all the bad feelings, have come back to kick my ass HARD, and I really just want to get out of my own head--this is probably the worst I’ve felt. I also arranged a counseling appointment for tomorrow, and I hope this will work--I HATE feeling like this, and thinking that I can’t even sleep to get away from the bad feelings this time. 

And as much as I hate to admit it...I think getting off of Tumblr for a while, breaking from my routine a little, might help get me out of this rut, if only a little. Well, this isn’t a complete hiatus...I still plan to work on Myth City, and some other art, if not for the vain attempt that people will notice, then so I have something to do other than mope around in misery. 

Though I am strongly considering deleting @the-angel-and-the-projectionist, for real this time; that’s hardly getting any attention anyway. Plus, as mentioned in the past, roleplaying on Discord just feels...more personal to me. Sorry @inkyraccoon, @the-protectionist, and any of the other few people I’ve roleplayed with, but the blog really gives me no joy anymore, and keeping it up seems futile. 

I hope I can get over this, and stop overthinking so much about my life, my future, the real world, fiction, everything...but until then, if anyone wanted to keep in touch, my Discord is rhys-ravenfeather #9121. 

See you around, guys.

[calcidekudine]

out of my head of my heart of my mind

out of my head of my heart of my mind katsudeku. explicit. part two. also available on ao3. warnings: A/B/o dynamics, masturbation, scenting, nipple play

.

<< previous | beginning

.

When Katsuki wakes, his alarm is screaming. His skin is tacky with sweat. His throat is dry. He grabs his phone and hits the snooze. Sleep sticks to the corner of his eyes, a gooey sensation at war with the scrape of frustration inside his bones and the broil of heat in his blood.

Katsuki breathes deep.

Holds it until it hurts.

Exhales shakingly. He repeats this process until his irritation fades. When his alarm goes off again, he sits up, turns it off, and scrubs the heel of his hand against his eyelids. Sheets pool around his naked waist.

This is when he notices two things. First is the sensation of slick between his legs; the second is the stiffness of his cock. He glares at his covered lap, but no amount of scowling deters his erection.

"Are you fucking me," Katsuki mutters as he gets out of bed. His cock bobs as he walks to the bathroom and turns the shower to scalding. He has only been off his suppressants for three days; it should take longer for his heat to take root. "This is a bunch of bullshit."

Katsuki steps under the spray and lets the hot water soak his short hair and run down his body. He lathers shampoo into his hair; cleanses his face; scrubs a bar of soap against his skin. The longer he ignores his erection the more he becomes aware of other things, like the slide of water over his taut stomach and the tightness of his nipples.

"What the fuck," Katsuki mutters as he looks down at the pink nubs. His chest is not normally sensitive and, with some curiousity, he reaches up and pinches. A bolt of heat races down his spine and explodes in his groin. His leg muscles tense, forcing him onto the balls of his feet, and an inhuman noise claws out of his throat.

Holy shit, Katsuki thinks in a brain full of static. Holy fucking shit, why the fuck—?

Without thinking, Katsuki lifts his other hand and pinches both his nipples simultaneously. He's rougher, holding onto the nubs and tugging. His jaw slackens. It feels so good he wants to shout, but he's too breathless for any true sound to form. He repeats this action again and again, until his nipples are red, puffy, and painful. He holds one—twists it—reaches down to his bloodheavy cock—tightens his fist cruelly and—

Katsuki closes his eyes. Thinks of Izuku's hands: scarred and deformed, thick-fingered, broad-palmed, and callused. If he were in the shower with Katsuki, Izuku'd wrap one hand around Katsuki's cock and press two fingers against Katsuki's slick hole. He wouldn't push inside. He'd rub at Katsuki's entrance and murmur nonsense about being sure and ready against the line of Katsuki's throat. Katsuki would have to swear—

Threaten—

Beg.

Brought to the brink, every muscle in Katsuki's body tenses. He whines as he comes. He spills over his desperate fingers and—by the time his heart calms down and his breathing returns to normal—the evidence of his want has been washed down the drain.

"Fuck," Katsuki says.

.

The rest of the morning crawls. Katsuki makes himself an enormous breakfast—rice, eggs, and fat-rich fish—and ignores the clean-up in favor of turning on his television. He scrolls through the wide selection of movies and shows. Nothing appeals to him, not even the latest action films packed with giant explosions.

Huffing, Katsuki turns on his gaming console and starts his favorite first-person shooter. This attempt at distraction lasts longer but, after an hour, the buzz of boredom creeps into Katsuki's brain and refuses to leave. He tosses the controller aside with a frustrated grunt. His skin feels tight. There's potential low in his abdomen, a simmering heat that could quickly become another erection. It would be so easy. Katsuki could push the waistband of his sweatpants down his thighs, just far enough for the elastic to press against his balls. It would free up his other hand so he could reach behind him, slide his fingers into his empty hole, a weak substitute for Izuku's alpha dick—

Abruptly, Katsuki shoves his thoughts out of his brain and gets off the couch.

He's going to the gym.

.

The gym Katsuki goes to is halfway between his apartment and his agency. It's pretty popular despite the outrageous membership fee, and is exclusive to heroes and sidekicks. It boasts state of the art equipment, a swimming pool and sauna, an indoor running track, several on-site massage therapists, and even a smoothie bar. It isn't busy when Katsuki arrives at half-past ten but it isn't deserted either, and everyone who is present double-takes when they smell him. Katsuki firmly ignores the quick, sideways glances and—after changing into a pair of ratty cutoff sweatpants and a muscle tank—stalks over the dumbbells. This is where he stays for the next twenty minutes, doing rep after rep until a familiar face ignores his scowl and saunters over.

"You reek," Sero says in lieu of greeting. His wiry arms are crossed over his chest and his face is carefully blank. "Are you—you know."

Katsuki rises from his squat but doesn't put his weighted barbell back on the rack. Instead, he meets Sero's eyes and cocks an eyebrow. Sero sighs.

"Stupid question," Sero mutters. Then, because Katsuki is surrounded by idiots, Sero says, "I thought you took suppressants."

"I did." Katsuki drops down. Comes back up. The movement is flawless even though Katsuki's thighs are trembling from exertion. "Now I'm not."

The burn beneath Katsuki's skin is not entirely from exercise. The prickle of pre-heat is incessant. It feels like a fever. Already the sensation is stronger than what Katsuki experienced while he worked through his cycle on his suppressants. The harder he tries to ignore it, the more aware he becomes.

"Should you be here, when you're this close?" Sero asks. "I could smell you from the door."

"I don't give a fuck," Katsuki snaps. Oddly, the sharp response makes Sero smile.

"No," he says. "I didn't think you would."

Katsuki glares. He's an unclaimed omega going into heat and, as a result, his body pumping out pheromones in the hopes of attracting a mate. It's no different than what happens when an alpha goes into rut, save for the fact that it is socially acceptable for alphas to be in a public sphere while omegas are meant to be locked away. Ever since he presented, Katsuki has been enraged by what others think he should do and how he should behave.

"So what?" Katsuki prompts. "Were you worried or some shit?"

"Knee-jerk reaction." Sero shrugs. "Sorry. It's stupid, I know. You're you. If someone made an unwanted advance, you'd kick their ass."

"Damn right I would."

"Which is why I have to ask—why did you stop taking your suppressants? You've been on them for as long as I've known you, and you're not the kind of person who just does something without reason. So, tell me: is it medical or did you finally meet someone?"

"Whaddya mean, finally?"

"Ah, so you did meet someone!" Sero crows. His grin has grown and taken over the majority of his face. "Come on, Bakugou, you can tell me who it is. I promise I won't tell anyone."

"The fuck you won't. You're worse than Pinky," Katsuki says.

"What if we do a couple laps and I beat you?" Sero wagers. It's a bad bet, especially since Katsuki just finished a punishing series of squats, but he knows Katsuki won't back down from a challenge, even one that is at his disadvantage. "Or are you afraid you'll lose?"

Sero wiggles his eyebrows and holds out a hand. Katsuki takes it without hesitation, and says,

"You're on."

.

Katsuki wins. Sero groans, defeated, and then tries to wheedle Izuku's name from Katsuki for the next hour. Katsuki refuses to say anything. He doesn't care if Sero learns that he is spending his heat with Izuku—Kirishima will blab soon enough—but it is amusing to listen to Sero try and guess who Katsuki's heat partner might be.

"You know I'll find out eventually, right?" Sero says after they've hit the showers and are redressing in their civilian clothing. "There's literally no reason for you to keep it a secret."

"That reverse psychology shit isn't gonna work on me," Katsuki replies as he tugs on his sneakers. Then, because Katsuki has a sadistic streak, he asks, "Would you like a hint?"

Visibly perking up, Sero exclaims, "Uh, yeah!"

"Too bad," Katsuki says.

The betrayed look on Sero's face keeps Katsuki in good spirits for the rest of the day.

.

Though Katsuki's time at the gym mellows the worst of his pre-heat symptoms, subduing the feverish itch beneath his skin and keeping his burgeoning arousal to a simmer, it does not make them disappear completely. Sweat beads on his hairline, gathers between his shoulders blades, and makes his costume stick to him. It is uncomfortable and itchy, and not even the cool spring breeze can alleviate the discomfort.

The hours drag from afternoon to evening. Uneventful and boring. Katsuki is relieved when his comm crackles to life in his ear and his replacement gives him the all-clear. He all but races back to agency, bursting into the changing room and—

A familiar smell stops Katsuki several feet from his locker.

Deku, he thinks, the name surprisingly clear in his suddenly hazy mind. He stumbles forward. Drops to his knees and yanks the metal door open. There is another bento in his locker but no note. In its place is a carefully folded white t-shirt. The shirt is unwashed and it reeks of Izuku, of his strong alpha musk. Saliva instantly pools in Katsuki's mouth. He wants to bury his face in the fabric and drown himself in Izuku's scent. Izuku has always smelled so, so good...

Abruptly, Katsuki slams the locker door shut. He pinches his nose shut and breathes heavily through his mouth, great heaving gasps that hurt his ribcage. He does this until the fog in his brain dissipates enough for him to change out of his costume—

To scarf down the convenience store bento—

To shove Izuku's shirt into his gym duffel—

To stalk home and—

.

"Stupid," Katsuki hisses as he staggers into his apartment, barely remembering to close the door behind him. It is half past one in the morning. His head feels fuzzy and his limbs feel heavy; his pants chafe against his thighs and the fabric of his henley drags against his sensitive nipples. "Stupid—fucking—nerd—"

With trembling hands, Katsuki opens his duffel and pulls out Izuku's shirt. The heavy scent floods his senses. He moans and all but collapses onto the floor of the entryway, his knees and his forehead pressed against the unforgiving hardwood. He brings Izuku's shirt to his face and buries his face into the fabric.

Katsuki is so hard it hurts.

One-handed, Katsuki fumbles with his belt buckle and zipper, trying to free his dick as quickly as he can, and he chokes as his fingers wrap around his erection. His clammy palm does little to ease the roughness of his callouses against the sensitive skin, but he is more worried about getting off as soon as possible than going into the bedroom and finding lube. He jerks himself, dry and brutal, and buries his face as far as he can into Izuku's shirt.

It smells so good. So so so good, and Katsuki's mouth floods with spit again. Drool escapes the gape of Katsuki's mouth and soaks the cotton. He is unaware of the way he licks at Izuku's shirt, desperate to have the taste of his alpha's skin. His fist works furiously as he suffocates, mouth and nose smothered. Slick soaks his underwear. His hole is empty and it isn't enough—

It isn't enough—

It isn't enough—

It isn't—

Katsuki's orgasm is sudden and unfulfilling. He cries out, "Izu—!" as his come paints the dark floor, the plea muffled by the bunched up cotton pushing into Katsuki's mouth. He is rigid for a moment as pleasure crashes through him—then the tension releases and he falls bonelessly to his side.

His muscles twitch.

He struggles for air.

Yet even while Katsuki pants through the aftershocks, Izuku's shirt remains clutched in his fist and against his face.

.

next >>

.

[sonsoflucis]

How about Noct finds out that Prompto doesn't always eat like he should and takes it upon himself to feed this idiot some gd pizza (a fluff request for a rainy day)

craving // noctis x prompto [sfw]

1,630 words || tagged @crowryn-arts || current song: price x koethe || a/n: i am in a rut like you wouldn’t believe so hopefully this little drabble is okay. also my brain saw the word FLUFF and was like “sure, we could do that. or make them CRY” so it got a tad angsty and i touched on eating disorders. be prepared for that. peace and hair grease, bud. || sfw with mild angst and depression/ED

Noctis kicked his boots off immediately after entering his apartment, sighing heavily. “What a day, what a day…” Gladio knew he hated these early morning training sessions and made them even earlier every time the prince complained. He stretched, groaning, jacket on the floor beside his boots. New bruises were making themselves known on his back, a few more reminders to never look away from that hulking man-beast of a shield during practice. Noctis assessed himself in the mirror, gingerly feeling a particularly tender place on his jaw. “Hm…” 

“Noct…?” 

The prince jumped at the wavering voice, no one else was supposed to be here but Ignis and that mad man would have swept away Noctis’ clutter and chastised him before could even make an excuse. Noctis crept around the corner, not entirely sure what to expect, and saw a very nervous Prompto sitting on the counter, kicking his feet. Noct blinked surprise and relaxed, raising an eyebrow. 

“Sorry, dude, I… I just wanted to come over. It hasn’t been a… good day,” the gunman mumbled, eyes falling to the floor. He was wearing a black hoodie and loose jeans, not really his usual style. The very air around him felt… off. 

“I mean, I love seeing you, man,” Noctis answered quickly, jumping up on the counter beside the blonde. “But uh, what’re you doing here? You were supposed to-” 

“Be out making deliveries, I know.” 

“Well… Yeah, you just got the job… You should probably show up every once in a while,” the prince laughed, touching the boy’s shoulder. 

Prompto shrugged off the hand trying to convey comfort and shook his head. “I am not really in a good place, Noct. I shouldn’t have applied for the position in the first place.” 

Noctis furrowed his brow. “What are you talking about, Prom? What’s up?” His eyes lingered on the splash of freckles spilling across the bridge of the blonde’s nose, the faint trembling of his bottom lip. Prompto closed his eyes and pulled his knees to his chest. 

“It doesn’t matter. How’re you? Didja get fucked up by Gladdy again?” 

“Hey, hey, hey, no, reverse. What’s wrong, Prompto?” Noctis prodded, drawing his mouth into a fine line. “Did something happen at work?” Prompto’s entire demeanor was collapsing in on itself and it felt like he was trying to make himself smaller, winding his fingers around his knees and burying his face. “Do you want me to call Iggy-” 

“No!” Prompto cried, two big tears rolling down his face. He stared at the dark-haired boy for a minute, the two of them shocked that Prom had actually raised his voice. It was so out of character. Noctis didn’t say a word when Prompto slid off the counter and straightened out his hoodie. Didn’t say anything when he meandered toward the door. Didn’t say anything when he stopped and hunched over, muffling a sob in the crook of his arm. Didn’t say anything when Prom looked at him pitifully from the floor, a blubbering mess. Noct merely stood and crouched next to his friend, pulling him awkwardly into his chest. 

“Dude, hey, I’m here,” he crooned, unsure of what else to do. The blonde shoved his face into Noct’s shirt and hugged him tightly, causing the prince to fall back a bit. Prompto crumbled at the contact, wildly apologizing, body wracked with watery sobs and sniffling. Noctis readjusted, reaching his hand up to… to do what? I don’t even know how to comfort my own friend. Prom wiped his face on his jacket sleeve, his eyes red-rimmed and puffy. Noct warily placed his palm on the back of his friend’s head and softly patted his hair. “I, uh, I don’t…”

Prompto sniffled, a look of horror cresting over his face, and released Noctis from his vice-like grip. “S-sorry, highness…” 

Noctis stifled a chuckle, his hand resting on the gunman’s thigh. “Oooh, so formal.” Prompto blanched, hesitantly placing his own shaking palm over the prince’s. 

“You… You aren’t mad?” 

“Why would I be?”

Prompto sniffed, blinking back another bout of tears. “I’m used to people getting mad. And then leaving.” 

“It’ll take a lot more than a snotty t-shirt and a halfassed break in to drive me away.” The gunman laughed quietly, standing. Noctis got up and walked over to the refrigerator. “You want a soda or somethin’?” he called out, shoulders deep in the fridge, digging around behind the prepared meals Ignis had left for him. 

“Nah, ‘m good.” 

“How about these?” Noctis waved around a bag of frozen lima beans, grimacing. “Please. For me. Eat them.”

Prom shook his head. “I’m not really hungry.” 

“Whaaat? Since when?” The joke hit Prompto in the gut and Noctis saw him wince from across the room. He knew what was happening, what had been happening. It was something he thought Prom had left behind in high school, but clearly had hitched a ride with him, gnawing at his emotional health, slowly but surely. “I need you to answer me honestly, okay?”

The blonde nodded, gazing out of the window. 

“Are you eating?” Prompto opened his mouth, almost too quickly, and stopped, kicking his foot. Noctis closed the refrigerator and crossed his arms, thought better, and let them fall to his sides. “Why not?” 

Sunshine boy didn’t even try to argue. “…look at me.” He gestured at his torso, mouth frozen in a permanent frown. 

“What am I supposed to see, Prom?” Noctis murmured, walking up to the boy. 

Prompto’s lip quivered, but he reined it in, exhaling. “…a loser.” He rocked back on his heels, fingering the zipper on his hoodie. “An absolute waste.” 

“No. No, you’re not. You’re so…” Noctis flailed, trying to put his thoughts into words. “…you’re not a waste.” 

A cold retort built up on Prom’s lips, but he shoved it aside. “…what do you mean?” 

The prince shrugged, crumpling his face into various expressions while he figured out how to speak to his best friend in a way that didn’t end in sarcasm. “Having you around… is like having the sun come out on a rainy day.”

“Oh please-”

“Listen,” Noct interrupted. “I don’t have a lot of friends and it’s obvious why. I-I’m rude and selfish. All I want to do is sleep and hang out with my dad, but he is always so busy and Ignis is busy and Gladio’s an ass and…” He stopped, allowing his mouth to catch up with his train of thought. “And then there’s you, Prom. There’s you.”

His shoulders fell slack. It was clear that Noctis had breached the wall he’d built to protect himself and it scared him. A fierce crimson flushed his cheeks. He clenched his jaw and relaxed his hands, unsure of where to go from there. “I gotta make a call.” 

“Uh. Huh?” Prompto mused, watching as Noctis snatched up his cell phone and started typing furiously. He uttered the beginnings of a question, but Noct held his finger up, waggling it playfully. The prince placed the call, muttered a quick “thanks”, and hung up. 

“I ordered us two large pizzas and-” he shushed Prom with a glare. “…and we’re gonna watch whatever movie you want. I know this isn’t some crazy wonder drug and I won’t reboot your mental health with pepperoni, but I think you need to hang out with me tonight, yeah?” His blue eyes sparkled with warmth as the prince trotted over to the shelf of DVDs. “Ignis picked up Captis’ documentary on Altissia’s music scene for us, it has some cool shots of landscapes and the score is killer.” He looked up at the blonde, DVD in hand. “You wanna watch it?”

Prompto shifted on his feet, unsure of what to say. “…should go home.” 

“Prompto, please stay,” Noctis breathed softly. “Please?” The prince barely managed to hide his disappointment, indigo eyes pleading. “Stay with me?” 

The air hung heavy, neither boy sure of what else to say. The sound of Prom’s stomach growling broke the silence and he laughed at the irony. “I guess that settles it, then, huh?” He wiped his face one more time, cheeks blazing red. “S’pose I could stay for a while.” 

A relieved grin plastered itself across Noct’s face and he tore into the movie case, going on and on, babbling about “this one dude, wow, he is lethal with that bari sax” before popping it into the DVD slot. Prompto beamed from his place on the couch, patting the spot next to him. Noctis hurried over and pressed play, flopping onto the sofa. Prom looked over at the prince, wishing he had his camera. Noctis radiated love and security, the only person he felt he could truly be himself around. Two horribly awkward, socially deprived, idiots just trying to make it in this weird world. He leaned his head on Noct’s collar and pretended he wasn’t floored when it was reciprocated with an arm around his shoulders.  “You’re gonna love it,” Noctis exclaimed excitedly when the menu music began. 

“I’m sure I will,” Prom replied, curling his legs up on the couch. 

The pizza arrived a few minutes later, the delivery man sputtering pleasantries and “royal highn- majesty, I didn’t know” when he saw the prince of Lucis handing him a wad of gil and waving before shutting the door in his face. 

“He curtsied,” Prompto cringed, taking a slice of pizza from the top box. 

“Yes, he did. Not too shabby, but I’ve seen better,” Noct teased, dissolving into laughter when Prom’s cheese kept stretching, a two-foot trail dangling out of his mouth. Prompto grinned wickedly, sauced smeared all over his chin. 

“Thanks, man,” he uttered. “…for the pizza.” 

“You’re welcome,” Noctis replied, handing him another slice. “For the pizza.”