#also have a phone call to make on Thursday but i dont know what time im supposed to call this person so great

[heyitslapis]

its times like this when i really wish i had an SO's shoulder to cry on

Because I think i factrued/sprained my foot the other day it happened wednesday but its still pretty swollen and pops when i try to walk on it without hobbling. i know i signed up for health insurance through work. i wrote down the insurance company name as Bayside and I have my personal insurance id number but the card never came in/got lost in the mail (and i already called for one replacement that never came so idk if theyll send me a third) so i cant confirm the insurance name nor call them, but i need to because ive called/visited 5 health care facilities around me and NONE of them have even heard of Bayside. So im calling the phone number that my manager provided me with telling me that was the insurance company. I keep calling the number (and mind you ive called them before to try to get a second insurance card sent to me but that was in like April) and i get that its saturday but theres no answer and the stupid automated machine wont let me leave a voicemail. the automated answering voice on the phone also says that theyre called National Benefit Plans by SafetyNet and google says the phone number im using belongs to National Benefit Plans out in San Antonio Tx (i live no where near there). I found National Benefit Plans' website on SafetyNetPlus dot com but National Benefit Plans doesnt have their own website, just through SafetyNet, and also the SafetyNet website says on a side panel that "this is NOT insurance" and instead keeps saying "health benefits" instead so idk what the fuck ive been paying for for the last 6 months tbh and im having an emotional breakdown bc i dont want to fuck my foot up for life just cause i couldnt figure out my health insurance/benefits shit

[cloudy-squid]

Don't scratch your rash til it bleeds don't scratch your rash til it bleeds don't scratch your rash til it bleeds don't do it dont do it do-

[lickmycoffeecup]

HAPPY TMAGP FINALE DAY EVERYONE

(Its Thursday where I am!)

Here’s my thoughts on TMAGP 30

Spoilers under cut

I wanted to sit on this instead of giving an immediate response cause… I was actually kind of underwhelmed by this episode? And I wanted to make sure that was how I really felt before saying anything.

THAT BEING SAID, I DIDN’T HATE THE EPISODE.

A lot happens!

But also… A lot didn’t happen?

They set a lot of stuff up, which is great! But I feel like it also didn’t give a whole lot, and now we’re just kind of left waiting. I trust Alex and Jonny, but it just really left me feeling like, “Wait? Thats it?” And now we have the hiatus!

Anyway, its a good episode! I’m looking forward to next season! Which is why I feel kind of bad that I’m not more enthusiastic!

Now for some thoughts on the episode itself.

SAM HAS A COLD.

I died when Alice’s phone rang. CAUSE NOT COLLIN TOO????

I feel so bad for Alice, cause she can’t be everything to everyone. And her running after Sam is understandable. But I know its gonna crush her if something DOES happen to Teddy or Collin (and this is a Magnus podcast, SO I MEAN????). She’s gonna have so much regret not hearing either of them out, and I hope that she doesn’t let that get to her too much.

Good for Lena! Get out of there, honey! She really said, “Fine. You want it? You can have it!” And dipped, and she’s honestly so iconic for that.

Also good for Gwen! She’s in her Finding Out Era 😌

She’ll be finding out REAL SOON.

I loved The Custodian! I was so excited, I actually paused the episode to see if maybe that was Joshua Gillespie 😂

ONLY FOR HIM TO GET ARCHIFISTED.

Imagine going 30 years, avoiding the horrors, just to get GOT by the ONE horror who wasn’t in your weird little shopping mall prison? RIP dude, you’re on the GOAT list.

“We want your teeth!” killed me 😂

But seriously, what the hell??? Is Hilltop the next Panopticon prison? What are all these shops?

The Great Mall of Horrors??????

I was honestly surprised that Celia finally came clean with Sam, and that for SOME reason she was gonna toss him in to balance everything? Like I saw it coming, but at the same time, lady, you still got me.

This part was a little ??????? for me, cause like. Celia knew automatically what they would find. But then she can’t remember how she got to this world? So like, did she not wake up next to the tear? And why exactly is it calling HER back? When we haven’t had any indication of other doubles experiencing the same thing. Did they kill their doubles and set things “right” before they started getting called back? Was Celia tossing Sam in her way of avoiding murder to balance everything? BUT ALSO HOW IS THAT NOT AS BAD CELIA?

I see where she’s coming from, wanting to stay with Jack. But also I’m not even fully sure of where she got the idea. Maybe it was from the cases? Maybe she was getting emails we haven’t heard?

And like… Was Sam just opportunistic? Would she have thrown ANYONE in there? Gerry? Helen? Basira? Alice or Gwen?

She hesitated in the end, I had a feeling she wouldn’t be able to do it. BUT WOULD SHE HAVE STOPPED IF IT WAS ANYONE ELSE?

Some have also suggested maybe Jack is a demon baby. Maybe keeping her here. We’re not even sure Celia gave birth to Jack.

Either way, WE STILL HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS, CELIA!

I love that Alice bribed the taxi guy, and she respected his hustle.

NOW, I really wanted to look at the transcript for this next part, but as of writing this. I haven’t seen it posted yet. SO ONWARDS. I will quench my curiosity when its posted.

I DONT KNOW THAT [ERROR] AND SAM WENT THROUGH THE TEAR. It didn’t seem super obvious to me that thats what happened. Which is why I wanted to see the transcript.

If they didn’t, it begs the question what will happen to Sam, who is getting sick. Will [ERROR] just let them go? And why was [ERROR] even following them? They clearly didn’t go there for the Magnus Outreach Center. Is Sam’s trauma just really tasty?

If they DID go through the tear, I’ll be so curious to know what effect that will have on [ERROR]. If they wind up back in the TMAverse, since there’s no fears there now. Will we finally find out who [ERROR] is? Will they be a regular person again, with a non-semi sentient people biting tape recorder?

And last but not least… I hope Alice punches Celia, and then they get to work!

This was a wild season, I really am excited for the next season! Looking forward to reading what others have to say about this episode!

[philtstone]

for the kisses prompt: 25. kisses in the rain for shules because we never got a rain kiss and i think thats criminal

[phil voice] i dont have time to start an elaborate and ever growing kidfic series [immediately starts an elaborate and ever growing kidfic series] i was thinking about how rarely shawn and juliet spend significant time apart on the show and this emerged. timeline spans from just before 5x01 to post series, and title is from my enemy number one, aka deb talans "big strong girl". unfortunately i have yet to listen to that song or watch that scene without weeping uncontrollably into my hands. i promise they do actually kiss in the rain, it just takes a while to get there. enjoy!

title: come on, come on, lay it down

I.

City Hall is boring. 

This is Juliet’s big takeaway after day seven at her new assigned desk. The first few days are filled with a flurry of administrative logistics and the chasm of anxiety at the pit of her stomach that has nothing to do with the objectively mundane and benign desk work she’s voluntarily chosen to return to. 

Then, boredom. 

She blinks hard against the possibly terminal lazy eye she’s started to develop after her fourth hour of staring at backlogged paperwork and tries to refocus on the wall across from her. It’s red: this dark potent color that her mother would consider classy. Somehow in this building it looks beige. Beige is a good bland shade, kind of like what a blank mind might look like. Metaphorically. Juliet’s new therapist is all about combating blank minds and working with metaphors. She’d suggested a meditation exercise last week. What’s a place that makes you feel safe? Picture it in your head. Imagine the textures and smells and sounds.

Brring.

She startles, looking down at the office landline in front of her.

Brring.

Juliet picks it up. “Hello?”

“Jules!”

Her eyes drop back down to the paperwork. “Hi Shawn,” she says.

As he begins his prattling, Juliet picks up her pen and doodles a dog on a stray post-it note. She’d buried her personal cell deep into her purse as some kind of weird defense against the outside world, but it’s oddly comforting that Shawn somehow knows the office phone number anyway. From her spot at the desk she can see far enough into the lobby that the big glass doors for entering the building are visible. It’s raining pretty torrentially outside. People come and go all the time, and Juliet comes in the morning and goes in the evening, but it kind of feels like she doesn’t. Shawn hasn’t actually come around to visit her yet, at this new job. Juliet tells herself she doesn’t mind. He needs his own time and space, just like she needs hers, and it’s only been a week that she’s been back at work, anyway.

A week during which he’s called her five times in as many days. They mostly talk about nothing.

“Tell me you were thinking about donuts.”

“I wasn’t.”

“That’s too bad, cause I got you one. Also! Italian food. Here’s the thing — yes, salads are fine and good, sometimes tasty even, but nothing beats a panini on a Thursday.”

“Shawn, it’s Wednesday.”

“Is it really? Well, that puts a damper on our plans.”

Read the rest on ao3!

[mayomaggot]

Every Single Class of 09’; Flipside Message

Feet Ending

Title: Greetings my queen

From: 703-425-2981

Message:

hewwo dere i saw your FM wisting and wanted to see if I could come to your house to be stepped on by your cute little piggies. My parents named me Frederick but you can call me Freddy Footins! I am 34 years young and have been with the FeetMeet community for about 5 years now. Someone on the forums snapped a pic of your feet without your permission and I pleasured myself to it roughly 9 times.\nWith that icebreaker out of the way, i have saved up about 300 dollars with my SSI checks and would like to hire your services. Unsure if you do any of the more erotic foot sessions but just in case let me list you some more of my fetishes: feet, choking, food play, facesitting, Mommy incest, sister incest, twincest, simulated kidnapping, women wearing the Taco Bell uniform, you pretending to be Mexican but then saying you are white after I point out how hot it is that you are Mexican, covering my rent this month, that last one wasnt a kink but would be pretty cool if you did that. Also I am not a rapist by definition (looked it up) so no need to google anything about me. P.S. havent seen your face yet but if you look roughly 12 i am SO going to try moving out of my parents house down the line one day maybe to date you!

OD Ending

Title: right number?

From: 703-960-1431

Message:

Hi I'm not sure if I have the right person but this is Jeffery's mother. Was just texting to thank you for finding his body and alerting the authorities when you did. Unfortunately they were too late but you can't blame yourself for that. A part of me is devastated but another part of me is relieved, which is horrible to say... Jeffery has never quite fit in with the other children, never had the best grades, and maybe this was the only avenue for him sadly enough. Every day I wondered in the back of my head if I had failed as a mother by raising someone so awkward. By middle school I eventually gave up on him to compartmentalize my insecurities as a parent, letting him play with toys and masturbate to what I assume is animated pornography that I found on his computer. I was worried he would be hopelessly going through adulthood so this might have been the best outcome for him. He would tell me he was going to work on video games for a job when he was an adult, then it was comic books, then it was making YouTube reviews of action figures. All these things he said he wanted to do and never pursued... my fear was he just wanted to be a child playing with toys forever. My son's suicide is bittersweet, on one hand he is gone but on the other he realized himself that life wouldn't work out and ended things before they got worse. I KNEW there was a smart boy somewhere inside of Jeffery. I also know we have never spoken before but I needed to tell someone who would not have any pre-conceived notions about my pain...and can understand my blunt honesty now.When Jeffery was alive I was insecure. Now that he's gone I can feel free.

Slave Ending

Title: right number?

From: 202-347-4800

Message:

Heyo this George W Bush from the America White House! Not sure if those lesser camel jockeys let you have a phone as a slave but I personally wanted to let you know that Obama has sent a presidential pardon message to the Taliban to let you out. The Taliban ignores most of my messages and will make a grainy VHS tape telling me MacDonalds is the anti-christ or buddha or whatever the hell brown people worship but you get the idea. American girls like you have a bright future and we need to perserve that in ensuring all men are created equal in this race for equal opportunity.

P.S. Kanye was right ;)

Car Crash Ending

Title: can you cover

From: 703-960-1431

Message:

This is Ron Stumpford of Dominos Fairfax texting about the tragic passing of Ari. Now that shes dead we dont really have anyone to do deliveries on NFL Thursdays anymore so can you cover for her? We dont care that you killed her drunk driving we just gotta move orders here. Between you and me I am glad you killed her cause I asked her out on a date and she made up some fake excuse that she was gay FUCK THAT BITCH! But please come down and cover for her because the selfish bitch was too inconsiderate to have someone cover for her in the event she died on the job. I told her parents that and they made it out like IM the bad guy. If you cant drive for us would you at least have any naked pictures of her or anything? Im trying not to leave this deal empty handed here. Not even her parents had naked pictures of her to send me like what a rip off!

Nicole's Suicide Ending

Title: why why why why...

From: nicole

Message:

why cant u help me

100% Completion Message

Title: Thanks for playing!

From: SBN3

Message:

Thank you for playing the Class of '09 visual novel series to completion!

This project set out to bring real, relatable experiences back into the current lexicon of entertainment through the medium of comedy. Originally it was thought a bunch of people in their early 30s would play these games for a laugh but it turned out people who were barely alive for 2009 gravitated towards it in larger numbers.

Many of the social issues featured in this game were not exclusive to the late 2000s and the teenage portion of our fans lead me to believe times haven't changed... I also learned that 2-line throwaway jokes qualify as lore for people who need employment.

Through these games, presenting the dynamic reality I had witnessed came second to only writing dialogue which would entertain a wide array of people.

From FPS streamer fratboy assholes who love Kylar to purple-haired gender neutral girls who love Ari... Class of '09 has succeeded in being a crossroads of internet culture (regardless of whether those two parties are even aware the other side plays the game). This was not by accident, this is just what happens when you aren't afraid to exit your comfort zone and explore other circles, other cultures, and most importantly other levels of hardship.

Represtation in media is important, however mainstream media cannot represent those they are disconnected from. If you're suicidal, homeless, bulimic, addicted, a sex worker, or in an abusive relationship, Class of '09 is not shock humor to you. It merely displays a reality the comfortable can't comprehend.

I cannot necessarily write how real which stories were or were not, but I can guarantee the answers will surprise you. Lives had been lost and many futures were squandered along the journey which influenced the stories in these games. Those who experienced some events of Class of '09 in their own lives would understand. Your funny stories and your sad stories are all you need to create media that resonates.

Now while the game contained a plethora of anti-pedophilia messagery you just can't avoid psychos who latch onto media just because it's popular. I would just like to warn our fans that child predators who infiltrated the Class of '09 fanbase have been using the following phrases to secretly identify each other:

"the writing in Class of '09 isnt very good"

"I hate SBN3"

"I hate Wrath Club"

"Class of '09 was good by mistake"

"I love Class of '09 but hate the creator"

"No! The game just made that up!"

Make sure to report anyone using this or similar secret pedo rhetoric to your local authorities. Thank you.

-SBN3 a.k.a. God.

this game was an actual dumpster fire, idk what I was expecting but it definitely wasn’t whatever we got

[etherrreal]

“creep(er) into my heart”

Pairing: kenma x gn!reader Genre: fluff, friends to lovers Summary: two gamers walk into a fancy restaurant and it goes as well as you’d think. WC: 4,220 Warnings: N/A A/N: This is part 2 of “would you be mine(craft)?” with an even cornier title. You can probably read this without reading the first, but maybe read it for context? (also, i joke that applebee’s sucks but their “bourbon street chicken and shrimp” lives rent free in my head everyday) -Luna

Dates are meant to be anxiety-inducing, whether it’s a stomach full of butterflies or ruthless tornadoes.

So, it’s an odd feeling to be so calm and collected during the days leading up to a big date, especially one with Kenma. You assume it’s because the stakes are so low, knowing that if the spark isn’t there, you’ll still see him on Minecraft, probably that same night, to help with his iron golem farming idea like nothing ever happened. 

What’s even weirder is that both of you have continued to not discuss the date at all since he asked you the weekend before. You don’t know if it’s because it’ll be awkward to break the ice of the discussion or if he’s procrastinating figuring out the plans for that night, but you both continue to play games and watch anime together during the week without even grazing the topic.

If it wasn't for the Google Calendar invite reminding you 48 hours before Saturday that your date was in fact coming up, you would still believe that him asking you out was something you happened to imagine during your post-date funk.

Thankfully, come Thursday evening, not long after you get the notification, he sends you a text letting you know that he’ll be taking you to a restaurant in the city. It’s one you’ve passed several times before, which is how you know, without having to check their Instagram tags, that it’s a semi-formal, if not fully formal, dress code and dining experience. It’s an abnormal choice for Kenma to willingly select a place where he’d have to wear anything that buttons, let alone a full suit, so you have to imagine that the place must have glowing reviews for him to settle on it.

Now all you have to do is find a whole entire formal outfit with only two days’ notice and minimal time after work to shop. No biggie.

But you manage to do it in time—although barely since you had to rally together the group chat to help—and by the time Saturday comes, you’re actually feeling a bit of nerves start to pool in your stomach as you’re getting ready for the night. Although it all dissipates when you get a series of texts from Kenma, minutes apart, realizing that he may be experiencing the same kind of jitters that you’re feeling. 

‘I dont know how to tie a fucking tie, time to cancel the date’ ‘This is harder than finishing Dark Souls’ ‘I got it, but Kuroo made fun of me and is a terrible teacher and now my feelings are hurt’

You zoom through getting ready, and with about 30-ish minutes until your 7PM reservation, the 25-minute Uber ride leaves you with just enough time to be early. And you’re given quite the shock when you step out of the car and you already see Kenma in front of the restaurant, head hung low as he scrolls through his phone. As you get closer, you notice he cleans up nicely in his smart black suit with his hair pulled back into a bun except for a few face-framing pieces. You make sure to call his name to get his attention, his head snapping up when he hears your voice.

“Wooow, look at you, Mr. Snazzy,” you comment, reaching up to straighten his tie. “I’ve never seen you so gussied up before. Must be quite the date for you to dust off your one and only suit.”

“I have a second suit,” he says defensively. “It’s gray because Kuroo says that’s a better color to wear for the daytime.”

“When did Kuroo become your fashion stylist?”

“When my publicist politely said that I looked like a scrub in all my other clothes during meetings.”

“...She never said anything about your hair, though?”

Kenma glares at you, definitely offended by the implication that his excessively grown out roots are unprofessional, to which you offer a small smile, hoping that he knows you meant it with love. 

“Let’s just go inside before I get insulted again tonight.” 

He pulls the door open for you—like the gentleman that he pretends to be—and steps up to greet the host before you can say anything.

“Hello, I have a reservation for 7PM. Kozume.”

Normally, you’d joke about him finally being able to speak to a server by himself, seeing as he still has to hype himself up sometimes before asking for extra ketchup when you’re eating out. You remember there being a time when he ordered marinara sauce with his cheesy bread from Domino’s and when it wasn’t included, he was fully prepared to leave and eat his bread dry to avoid talking to anyone. You ended up having to take the receipt up to the cashier and fixing the mistake so you didn’t have to see him somberly eating his sauceless bread.

The jokes slip your mind, however, as you take in the decor of the place. A few chandeliers hang from the high ceiling, sparkling under the low light from the sconces on the wall. Each table is decorated with a crisp white tablecloth and set with dark green trimmed plates, long-stem wine glasses, and folded cloth napkins around a simple floral centerpiece.

You’re observing the attire of the guests, feeling a bit underdressed, but also overdressed considering how effortless and chic most of the outfits are. The meals they’re eating look especially small, probably only a few bites on the giant plates. It’s a place definitely out of your comfort zone, one that you’d think would be nice to attend, but probably never would because it’s so bougie and you’d feel out of place.

Kenma’s hand on your lower back startles you out of your thoughts, and suddenly, you’re being guided toward the middle of the restaurant, a server in front of you to lead the way.

The server pulls out your chairs, providing menus and telling you that he’ll be back when you’re ready to order. Polite smiles and thanks are given as you settle in, draping your coats over the backs of your chairs and picking up the menus.

If you thought you felt out of place when you walked in, you’re definitely feeling it now. You scan the menu, trying not to look too stressed when you see the prices and can’t recognize or even read the foreign names of certain dishes, but from what you can read, nothing is sparking joy. You’re trying to get a read on Kenma, glancing up to see if he’s also having trouble picking something from the menu or if he’s confident about what to order, but his stoic face gives nothing away.

In an attempt to put out some feelers, you clear your throat before saying, “I’m not really sure what to pick. How about you? See anything you like?”

“I’m still looking, but nothing so far,” he responds, trailing off at the end as he watches a server bring some morsels of food plated on a bowl of rocks to the table next to you. It’s only then that can catch his eye and in them, you’re seeing the same feeling of bewilderment and unease from being in this setting. But it’s gone in a second, back to his normal flat expression.

But you definitely saw it, so now that you know the feeling’s mutual, you feel less bad about feeling it yourself. You let a few moments pass, with the menu held in front of your face, high enough that only your eyes peek out from over the top before you let out a suggestion.

“....You know we passed by a Domino’s on the way here, and now all I can think about are their wings.”

Kenma nearly slams the menu onto the table, eyes wide and ravenous for some food. “I want some of their cheesy bread so bad.”

“Wanna make a run for it?” You’re trying to be low-key when looking around for anyone that could be watching, gently setting the menu down and grabbing the collar of your coat, looking back to Kenma for confirmation. He’s already shoved one arm into the sleeve of his blazer and is scooting back his chair to stand, making sure to give you a nod so you know that it’s go time.

You’re not as graceful as Kenma is in your escape, nearly spilling someone’s drink while putting on your coat on the way out. You pick up your pace, ignoring Kenma’s glance and snickers. He reaches the door first, holding it open for you while you finally get your coat on. There’s a beat while you stand there before you both burst into giggles, nearly keeling over with laughter and tears in your eyes.

Finally, standing up straight after a few minutes, you gesture behind you. “Ready to go get a gourmet meal?” 

With an excited nod from Kenma, you walk side by side down the streets. You use the time to clown him for not knowing how to tie a tie, even suggesting that you’ll gift him a clip-on for future uses so he doesn’t hurt his little gamer hands trying to tie a knot. 

To which he responds with, “And I’ll light your Minecraft house on fire using my little gamer hands if you don’t shut up.”

Suddenly, you’re silent.

The Domino’s is a bit farther than it seemed while in the car, but eventually, you see the glowing blue and red symbol high up on the square building, rushing ahead to rip open the door so you can quickly usher Kenma inside and order as soon as possible.

Too much money later, you’re skipping out of Domino’s, wings and cheesy bread secured along with other impromptu boxes of goodies to take home. You’re both waiting at the corner while you pull open the Google Maps app to figure out the best place to catch a cab when you notice a spot nearby that piques your interest. 

“Did you know there’s an arcade around the corner?!” you nearly scream, shoving your phone in his face to show him Google Maps. 

“No, I didn’t know that,” he says, moving your phone at least a few inches away from his face. “Want to go there?”

“Won’t our food get cold though?”

“That’s what microwaves are for. Duh,” he jokes, grabbing your hand to guide you down the block to the illuminated storefront. You run in like children, making a beeline to the token machine. You begin reaching for your wallet when Kenma lets go of your hand, shoving your wallet away and aggressively pulling out money from his own.

You stare down at your palm in the meantime, feeling little tingles spread throughout it, flexing your fingers and no doubt looking like a weirdo.

Kenma has done his fair share of dragging you away from places, usually when you're glued to the glass window of a store that has anime knick-knacks you want but have absolutely no damn space for, but usually he just grabs your elbow or wrist. You could be overthinking it, but he must've grabbed your hand on purpose. Or you're just that desperate for physical affection. 

He shoves a handful of tokens into your open palm, putting his own into his pockets. The arcade suddenly feels so overwhelming, with lights and noises all around you. Should you try the crane games first? Or maybe some skee-ball? You could probably dominate him in that…

“Want to start with some air hockey?” Kenma suggests, pointing over to a free table in the corner. 

Yes. Air hockey. An easy win start. “Oh hell yeah, let’s do that.”

You shouldn’t have been so confident. It’s not turning out in your favor, not in the slightest, and you should’ve guessed that, going up against a guy who was the brain of his volleyball team. In your defense, you did win the first game, rubbing it in Kenma’s face and doing a dance like a sore winner. Then he absolutely demolished you for the next three rounds and had the gall to be humble about it like he didn’t just embarrass you in front of the many elementary school kids around you.

You would’ve kept going, being stubborn as hell and telling Kenma, “Best 5 out of 6?” until you got into double digits. But suddenly he has to “go use the bathroom,” which sounds like an excuse to you.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t go too far,” he warns you.

And, to be fair, you don’t go too far. You only walk about twenty feet away to the anime crane game that’s hiding behind a row of other crane games that would be blocking Kenma’s view to you if he comes back the same way he left. He has a phone that he could use to text you if he really can’t find you. 

It’ll be fiiiine, you think as you slide in a token and get ready to win the anime figure. 

The time passes quickly, not that you notice it. All you know is that you’ve gone through maybe half of your tokens while trying to get the figure to fall between the two bars, only asking the staff to help you reposition once because you managed to mess it up that bad. 

It’s funny to think that you were more worried about sticking out like a sore thumb at the fancy restaurant than you are now at the arcade, surrounded by people of all ages in sneakers and jeans while you stand there at the claw machine in dress clothes with your nose nearly against the glass. Maybe they’ll think you’re an important business person coming by to decompress after a very long, busy day at work. 

Then you squawk when you finally score the prize after only several more dollars worth of coins, and the facade promptly sails out the window.

It’s only after you have the box in your arms that you decide to check the time, realizing you’ve spent at least ten minutes straight playing. What’s weirder is that Kenma still hasn’t returned yet, and you have no messages or missed calls from him asking where you’re at, which means he's either still in the bathroom–and if that’s the case, you’re deeply worried for his bowels–or he got distracted on his way back from it. 

You’re almost at the bathrooms when you see Kenma walking towards you from the corner of your eye, definitely not coming from the bathroom as you’d expect. 

“Where were you? I thought you said you had to go to the bathroom.” You notice he’s holding an overstuffed plastic bag. “What did you get? When the hell did you even have time? Or are you just that lucky?”

“Oh. This is, uh..” Suddenly, he’s sheepish, opening the plastic bag where you can see something fuzzy and pink in it. “I didn’t actually need to go to the bathroom. I saw a Kirby plush in a crane machine when we walked in and knew I had to get it for you.” 

Before you could even say anything, he’s pulling out the plush and you notice it’s not just a regular Kirby, but one with a chef hat and pan. You make grabby hands at it until he hands it over, trying to hold it just with one hand and squishing it against your chest and face. 

“I love him so much! Thank you, Kenma.” 

Like a lot of things tonight, it’s different from your normal friendly interactions. Instead of your usual hugs where you go in at a diagonal or the lazier times when it’s just a side hug, your arms are now wrapped around his neck with his around your waist. It feels weird. A good weird. Like you’re feeling the subtle change from friendship to something a little more. It’s hard not to get your hopes up because although you’ve told yourself that you’ll be good with being ‘just friends,’ throughout the night, you find yourself quite hopeful for the chance to explore something romantic with Kenma. 

You part slowly, him shoving Kirby back into the bag and insisting on holding it for you after you reach for it, which you suppose you could allow since he’s been such a gentleman tonight. 

“Great minds think alike because I got you a gift, too,” you announce, handing over the box you worked so hard for. “I don’t remember her name, but I know you have a few that look like her in your room, so what’s one more to add to your waifu collection.”

“Thanks for the gift, and also, for saying that so loud. I’m sure the whole arcade liked hearing about how much of a weeb I am.” He gives you a smile, somehow managing to stuff the box into the already full bag. “Want to spend the rest of our tokens then head to mine? I only have a few more.”

You pull your sad six out of your pocket. “Yeah, me too. That crane game wasn’t kind to me.”

You have a blast with the remaining tokens, staying away from crane games and sticking more to the classics. You learn that Kenma’s strategic thinking in volleyball does not translate over to basketball when you watch him miss every single basket of the game except for his last one in which he threw the ball against the back wall in frustration and landed right in the net.

Even when ordering the Uber minutes later, he still has a frown etched on his face from losing, and as much as you want to rub it in his face that now he’s feeling like you were after air hockey, you leave him to sit in his feelings. 

It’s a silent ride, at least on the outside. Internally, you’re an anxious, overthinking mess with your inner thoughts going a mile a minute. You spend the whole ride back to his place wondering if it’d be too forward of you to hold his hand that’s sitting on the seat between you two. It’s not like he didn’t hold your hand earlier tonight, even if it was only to drag you toward the arcade. Once you finally convince yourself that it’d be okay to try, the ride is over and his hand slips away to open the car door and you sigh as you lose your chance to be brave. 

When you’re home, Kenma’s tie and shirt undone and your dress shoes thrown haphazardly by the door, you finally get to discuss your thoughts on the restaurant. About how stuffy it felt in your formal clothes and how ridiculous the plating looked for the meals because you didn’t know what they’d even be able to taste with a portion size that small. Kenma even thanks you for breaking the ice by bringing up Domino’s because if you never did it “you’d still be in that restaurant having your 12th course of the meal.”

You swallow your bite and take a quick sip of your drink. “Why did you even choose that restaurant in the first place? Doesn’t feel like a place you’d be at.”

Kenma shrugs, brushing off the crumbs from his hands. “I don’t know… I guess I didn’t want our first date to be just like any other night we’d had. I wanted it to stand out from the rest so you can know that I’m serious about you.”

Your heart just about bursts hearing his gentle voice say that. “That’s… So sweet. I don’t know what to say to that besides thank you. Never knew you could be so charming.”

“Don’t expect it too often,” he jokes, to which you respond with an elbow to his ribs. “I know today didn’t go as expected, so maybe we can try again with a different restaurant.” 

“Maybe—and this is me just spitballing here—we should work our way up to the formal dress restaurants by starting with something simple like… Applebee’s.”

“I feel like Applebee’s is somehow a worse starting point than a place like McDonald’s.”

“Fiiiine. Since you have so much to say, then you pick where we’re eating for our next date. Just make sure I can get away with wearing sneakers and jeans, is all I’m saying.”

“Who said we were actually going on a second date? I don’t know if I want to date someone who eats wings like a toddler.” He reaches over with a napkin to wipe the corners of your mouth which you begrudgingly allow.

“Well, I don’t know if I want to date someone who waits until 48 fucking hours before the date to tell me that I have to put together a whole formal outfit for a restaurant.” Kenma looks away abruptly, but not before you see his shameless smirk. “Why the hell did you even take so long?” 

“I had to use some connections to get a reservation there within the week, and they didn’t get back to me until Thursday, so you knew when I knew!” 

“Hm… okay. I’ll let that one slide then. For now.” 

“So, I can get a second date?” 

“If you insist.”

Kenma puts what’s left of your food in his fridge with the promise of leftovers tomorrow. You help him tidy up a bit, taking your sweet time because it’s finally dawned on you that the date will be ending soon. You’re hit with a wave of disappointment, realizing just how much you enjoyed his company all day. And maybe it’s silly, but you don’t want it to end just yet.

When you’ve thrown away the last napkin, you slide in next to him in the kitchen, bumping shoulders with him before hooking your arm with his. “Wanna finish watching that anime you showed me? The one with the long title?”

He lets out an amused chuckle. “Glad you enjoyed it so much that you remember the name, but sure.”

He lets you guide him to the couch by his arm, plopping yourselves down on it while he grabs his remote to pick the show from his ‘continue watching’ section.

Halfway through the episode, you scooch even closer to Kenma so you can lean on him, your head gently resting on his shoulder to test the waters. He lifts his arm up to grasp you tighter, fingers trailing up and down your upper arm without looking away from the screen. You peer up at him to see a little smile on his face—hoping it’s because of your current position and not because of the atrocities happening on the screen. You’re rarely this close to Kenma. The closest you get to him on the daily is him leaning over you to fix some computer issues or you peering over his shoulder to watch him play on his Switch. 

You’ve never paid attention to his warm amber scent mixed with something floral, probably from his conditioner he told you he overpaid for because he thought it was on sale. How plush his hoodie is and how you’re definitely going to be “borrowing” it as a partner tax in the future. Or how the ends of his hair that’s tickling your face are really soft, no doubt because of that expensive conditioner, and you fight the urge to play with a few pieces. You could get used to being with him if this is what you’d be getting every day.

You manage to last another episode and a half before his soft touch lulls you to sleep, a smile mirroring his on your face.

You have a funny dream that night; you and Kenma are at an Applebee’s, both dressed in your grubbiest hoodies and sweats, while the subpar food sits untouched in front of you. He’s holding one of your hands on the table, stroking his thumb back and forth on the back of yours, the other hand keeping his head propped. You’re telling a story, laughing and waving your free hand around as you delve deep into it. To everybody else, you’re sure Kenma looks bored out of his mind, probably waiting for you to stop talking or at least get to the good part. But you know him better than that.

You can see the affection in his eyes as he doesn’t break eye contact with you, humming in acknowledgment wherever necessary so you know he’s actually listening. He’s squeezing your hand every now and again just because he can. His phone is face down on the far end of the table, most likely on ‘Do Not Disturb’ because you don’t hear a single vibration against the table. 

You’ve got his complete and undivided attention until he decides to get off his seat to lean over the table. You quiet down immediately, unsure of what the hell he’s going to do until he tilts his head and gently kisses you on your lips, lasting only a second before promptly sitting down and telling you to continue your story as if nothing happened. 

Non-dream Kenma would never do something so bold in public. At least, you don’t think so. 

But, goddammit, even if it means writing a script and playing director, you’re going to try your fucking hardest to make sure it happens exactly like your dream during your second date.

Written by: Luna

we’ve got a taglist if you’re interested 👀

[thebestofoneshots]

Hi I would like for you to read some of the stuff to my book to see if you think I should make more and maybe give me some advice, I feel like my writnig is not the best bc English is not my first language.

You were sitting on your sofa in your house looking at some random shit on your phone. "Hi, I'm home!” says Paul as he opens the door to your house. you stand up and walk out to him “hi” He puts his hands on your waist and pulls you in for a kiss. “hi” he smiled down at you “how was the filming?” "awful Tyrese and I couldn't make one of the scenes we kept laughing” you stood on your tip toes and kissed his cheek. “Are you ready for the Italian Grand Prix in a few days?” “mhm, Charles is coming over to get me thursday, tomorrow so I won't be home. Also, do you want to come with me?” you ask him “I would love to come but am Im allowed to be there not many people know our thing.” “you will be if you walk in with me and Frédéric knows..” “Did you tell him?” “no, he saw you called me after a race. He could see your name with a heart on my phone.” “okay.. so I'm flying with you and Charles?” “yeah he will be okay with it, he had his gf with him once” “I will go up and pack then” he smiled at you as he took his shoes off.  He then stood up “did you have a good day?” “yes but it’s much better now that you're here” He chuckles and looks down at you, he then takes you up and puts you over his shoulder ”HEY!”   

I really like it myself but dont know if it is actually good..

Hey babe! I've taken some time to answer this one because I wanted to dedicate the proper time to it. I must say, your story is pretty interesting, and you should definitely write more. In fact, even if some asshole ever told you that you shouldn't, you should continue to write if it's what you enjoy doing.

Now, where I do think I could give you some advice is regarding the formatting. This one is crucial because different languages have different formatting for writing and English has a lot of tricky ones, and it takes a lot of attention to get them right but I think I can sum them up for you.

Now the lack of spacing might be because of the limited amount of space in asks, but just in case it isn't, it's important to remember that you must switch paragraphs every time:

A different character speaks

You change a scene, time or location

You start a new topic

Another interesting one that even I didn't know until way deep into writing fanfiction is the punctuation marks after your characters speak and before you add the quotation marks. Allow me to elaborate.

This is a super detailed article about it, but basically, a dialogue should look something like this.

"If your dialogue follows a dialogue tag, you must use a coma in the end," she said.

She said, "On the other hand, if it's at the beginning, then instead of a coma you would use a dot."

"If it's obvious who the speaker is and you don't want to add a dialogue tag, then you also use a dot."

"And it's the same if you're breaking a paragraph after your dialogue."

"You are also meant to use dots if the dialogue is followed by an action and not a dialogue tag." She moved to the other side of the room to continue explaining.

"And if you have either a question mark or an exclamation one, then you continue your without capitalizing, the same as if it were a coma!" she said.

"If you are breaking paragraph after it, you don't need to add a for though!"

So with proper formatting, the little excerpt you've sent would look somewhat like this:

You were sitting on the sofa in your house looking at some random shit on your phone. "Hi, I'm home!” said Paul as he opened the door to your house. You stood up and walked up to him (tense change) “Hi.” He put his hands on your waist and pulled you in for a kiss, (tense change) “Hi,” he smiled down at you. “How was the filming?” "Awful Tyrese and I couldn't make one of the scenes, we kept laughing.” You stood on your tip toes and kissed his cheek. “Are you ready for the Italian Grand Prix in a few days?” “Mhm, Charles is coming over to get me Thursday, so I won't be home. Want to come with me?” you asked him. “I would love to come but... Am I allowed to be there? Not many people know our thing.” “You will be if you walk in with me and... Frédéric knows–” "You told him?” (sounds a bit more natural) “No, he saw you called me after a race. He saw your name with a heart on my phone.” “Okay.. so I'm flying with you and Charles?” “Yeah he will be okay with it, he had his girlfriend with him once.” “I'll go up and pack then,” (also the contraction makes it a bit more natural) he smiled at you as he took his shoes off,  he then stood up. “Did you have a good day?” “Yes but it’s much better now that you're here.” He chuckled (tense change) and looked down at you, he then grabbed onto your waist and put you over his shoulder. ”HEY!”  you complained. 

Also, I'd also add that you must be careful with your tenses, you start in past and then you switch to present, while this can happen in English when you are in conversation, it's not very common when you're telling a story. If you'll be talking in present, stick to the present (It's not vert common on formal books but I've seen it often in fanfiction), if you'll be talking in past, stick to the past.

I hope you find this useful darling, I tried to be as concise as possible while explaining all these little grammar rules, and I hope I didn't come as harsh. Took me long to figure them out and I suppose someone detailing them to me would have been pretty useful. I think your writing is great and I reiterate the fact that you should definitely continue. Sending all the love in the world!

[katwritesshit]

important(?) life update

so for a little backstory...

i volunteer at the concession stand for my local soccer league with 2 other people, henceforth known as 🐺 and 🤢. 🐺 and i are really close friends since grade 3, we met 🤢 this year because hes one of our new friends ex boyfriends. we volunteer at the concession stand from 630 to 830 pm every thursday, for the last 4 weeks. i will admit to not exactly paying the most attention to how much we have float, which is supposed to be $150. the last 2 thursdays, its been closer to $115. cool? cool.

so last thursday, it was only me and 🐺 working the stand. i showed up a half hour early, and decided to open up early. i wanna say maybe 10? minutes after i opened up, so still early, 🤢 showed up and went to sit on the bleachers maybe 10 meters away from the stand. cool, its still early, whatev.

anyways, 630 comes and my bestie boo 🐺 gets there and we wait for 🤢 to come join us. but he doesnt? so we're like "okay maybe he didnt notice" but then 700 comes and goes and we're like "hes literally on his phone no way he doesn't know what time it is" but we also dont want him to join us so we leave it and at 730 he gets off his phone, hops on his bike and leaves.

bro what?

(i kinda assumed he had permission from our supervisor to skip so i, stupidly, did not text her which looking back may be my downfall)

so anyways, 🐺 and i do our stuff for the next 2 hours. i will admit we got a little silly with it and maybe said some cancellable stuff but nothing jail worthy. we close up and again theres on like $120 in the box.

so in a moment of sheer stupidity that may land me in jail, i did not text my supervisor and instead told 🐺 to give me a random number between 10-20 for me to mark as what we earned.

🐺 locks up, her mom gives me a ride, yippee we both go home and live laugh love.

BUT THEN

at 640 tonight, my supervisor calls me. she normally texts so thats a lil weird, but i figure she just wants to confirm my absence on thursday (i have plans w family) so i pick up.

she tells me "kat, all the money from the concession stand lock box was stolen."

UM. WHAT THE SIGMA?????? NOT COOL!!!!

she makes me tell her exactly what happened the last thursday i was there and i tell her, i admit to being a little dumbass and not counting, blah blah blah. the whole time im looking at my mom like 😦.

so anyways i tell her no i didnt do it and shes like "okay 😊 well ill call 🤢 and 🐺 and see what they have to say" and i hang up.

i IMMEDIATELY text 🐺

"hey wanst 🤢 acting weird thursday"

and shes like "yeah haha he may be the imposter"

and i send her the text ny supervisor sent me saying shes filing a police report and cehcking the security footage

and shes like SHITTT BRO IT WAS TOTES HIM

and im like I KNOWWW

and anyways i tried googling it but idk how long ill go to jail/juvie/whatev if im convicted of stealing approximately $150 soooooo yeah. moral of the story dont fool arohnd on the job and alway snitch on your sus coworkers.

[hirik0]

False Reality Part 2

Soap/Ghost, SiFi AU

When Ghost is opeingin his eyes again for the secound time this day, hes blinded by brithe hospital eyes. He makes a displeased sound holding one of his hands in front of his eyes. NExt to him someone is moving. "Simon, how your feeling?", a female soundig voice is asking him and why is he thinking he must imagening this voice? He moves his head and hes lookig at his mother Helena Riley. HE blinks a few times, while tears are filling his eyes, why is he sad this just dont make sence. Its his mum he just saw her last sunday for family dinner right? RIGHT?!? "What happened?", he ask confused. "Price said you had a really bad migraine when you spoke over the phone, he also said your confused about living here in London. I had to let the EMTS in", his mother sound woried and tears are gathering in her eyes and he hates this. "Yeah, I dont know, just have a wiered feeling, maybe i dreamed bad and thats why im confused", he says to sooth his mother worry. "Of course sunshine, I will get a nurse yes", Helena says before leaving the room. Sunshine, why the fuck is she calling him sunshine? His mum only ever told him Simon his hole life hes sure of that. His mum returns with a nurse and a young Doctor. Ghost has to press his teath together to not call the Doctor Gaz and ask him what he is doing here. "Im Dr. Garrick", the young Doctor is intrudusing himself and Ghost acts like he in fact dont know Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick. Jsut the Gaz in his memorys is in the military. "We did a CT scan and MRI of your brain and we found nothing. He dont know where the headache was coming from but it for sure was not a migraine. The good news is also no tumor. Just i dont no what happend right before you passed out?", Gaz ask taking a pan in his hand his left hand, Ghost notices Gaz is right handed hes pretty sure about this. But does it really matter. "I was on the phone with my boss John Price and I dont know for some reason I thought i dont live on earth, but that clearly cant be right", Ghost explains feeling stupid. "I mean the mars colonie from Elon Musk failed after just 5 years and the only other posibility is the moon base, and Im sure your not an astronaut", Gaz says still writting down eveythink Ghost said. For some reason Ghost has the feeling failed is an understament and that after Elon Musk got killed at the mars revolution the colonie recovered really fast, but he keeps that for himself. "Well you can go home Mr. Riley, we cant do anything for you, besides making sure you get some sick days", Gaz says with his big familier smile. "Thanks... Doc", He nearly called Gaz Sergeant what the fuck.

His mum drives him home looking worried. "You are sure you dont want to stay in your old room, sunshine?", she asks for the 5th time. "Yes mum its fine, if thinks get worse i will call you", he ansered for the 5th time. "You sure you can come to dinner on Thursday?" "Yes, Mum of course its with Joes girlfriend and her dad, right", Ghost says confused why he knows this. "Yes, Emma MacTavish and her dad John, the mum sadly past away. Cant imagine to raise you both with out your dad." Ghost bites his toungh to not say they infact would be better off with out their loser father but he has the feeling this will upset his mother. He dont want to upset his mother, he hates when she is upset. He also has the feeling that Emma is Soaps youngest niece and not his daughter. "What is Mr. MacTavish doing for work again?", Ghost ask nearly saying Soap, feeling wired to call Soap Mr. MacTavish having the feeling Soap would tell him thats his dad. "His Joes chemestry teacher, Simon do you even listend when Joe told us for 3 months how cool the new chemestry teacher is?" "I maybe turend my brain of becasue he repeaded the same thinks over and over again", Ghost lies through his teeth. Chemestry teacher oddly makes sense to him, knowing that Soap is good in chemestry for other reasons then beeing a teacher. His mum is smiling at this. "Well, it was that or him just talking about Emma, for 3 months i understand. He just like Tommy was with Beth at the beginning. Ghost start feeling sad having knowing that he infact didnt know this. He knows that Tommy is loving Beth with all he got, but for some reason he dont know he talked about nothing but Beth for months. Because he was not at home, why was he not at home? They reach Simons apartment building and Ghost kisses his mother on the cheek as a thank you. He gets in the building he enters his code the 4th November the day... the day its an important date to him he knows that but why? Was important thing happend on the 4th November?

He opens the door to his appartment, walking straight in to the living room he didnt inspected yet. Like in the bedroom, this room feels to big for just one person. He loves the wall with books shelves, the sofa looks comfortable, the tv looks like a ancient relict to him, tvs got replaced 20 years before smartphons. It looks to lived in, he also hates the open kitchen, but it's what he has to work with. He looks through all the drawers till he finds a pair of scissors. Time to fix his hair, while he walks to the bathroom he sees photos of him having a man bun but his brain tells him this is against regulations, he just dont know what regulations. He stands in front of the giant mirror and start cutting away big parts of his hair, till he has short easy to maintain miltary style hair cut. He has the urge to shave the sites down more but he thinks that it's maybe to much change for his mum. He's also pleasantly suprised that the cut dont look like a 5 year old that cut their own hair, the feeling of him cutting his hair regularly on his own is popping up in his head. He cleans the scissor before returning it to the kitchen. He inspects the fridge and its full. There are fruits he oddly only knows from books in a fruit bowl. To his horror he don't find any bourbon, but lots of whine and the worst he sees a coffee maschien and he has no tea. He takes a apple out of the bowl, before he goes to the last room in the appartement. It's a small office and he instantly feels the need to move his bedroom in here. He nearly drops the apple when he sees the law degree with his name on right behinde the desk. Hes a lawyer? If Price is his boss does that mean PRICE is also a lawyer? Guess instead of resting he needs to catch up on British law... and how your supost to follow it. Why does he has the feeling he broke a lot of laws in the past? He laughs at the conflicting feeling of him being a lawyer and him not haven follow a law atleast his hole adult life.

Supect: Simon Riley, Human space marine

Days in simulation: 4 standard galactic days

Time till ascending: 8 standart galactic days

Today he would meet Soap and for some reason that makes him really nervous. The last few days he looked at his work suprised that he understood everything. He is up to date with all his cases, he's ready for court on Monday and at the same time he feels like a big imposter. He watched some earth TV, oddly already knowing the plot of most movies and series even if said series is allegedly just premiereing. Sometimes thinking about how Gaz would react to sertain plots and jokes. The music even if it's allegedly just released feel like they are old and should not be at the top 100 charts. He's questioning if everything is in fact okay with his brain since he passed out 3 days ago. He just showered and is now standing in front of his dresser. The lack of black cloths is the biggest pain in his the ass. Every shirt being in a light colour he has to dig in there every fucking day to find some dark colours. He choose a dark green button up and black dress pants, no lack of these at least. He has the need to cover up atleast the lower half of his face. He also every morning is looking for something to blacken the skin around his eyes being iritated ever time he dont find it. Why does he has this need to hide his face? He talks with nobody over this not wanting to worry them or end up in the hospital again. He also start to work out really iritate by the limits his body is setting him, feeling like he is suposed to be able to do more.

He stands at the front door of Beth's and Tommys house still unsure why he even knows the address. The same feeling he had with his mom is also here. As if Beth, his mom, Tommy and Joseph are all supost to be dead. He rings the bell and Beth is opening the door with a big smile that turns in to confusion. "Did you cut your hair Simon?", she asks confused. "Yes." "But why the man bun was really a good look on you", Beth say while letting her brother in law in. "Just didn't liked it anymore." Beth is narrow her eyes before slowly nodding in understanding. "I get it long hair is a pain to take care of, looks good Simon just suprised." Footsteps are stomping down the stairs and a teenage Joseph is looking around the corner disappointed to see his uncle instead of his girlfriend. "Hi Joe", Ghost just greats. "Hi uncle Si", he says before disappearing to his room again. "Teenager", Beth sighs fondly. The adults move to the living room. His mother and Tommy sitting on the couch talking about something. "Si", Tommy says with a big smile that makes Ghost heart arch. "Tommy, good to see you." He supresses the need to hug him, clearly he sees Tommy on a regular basis. "A shame that Dad, cant be here", Tommy sees and Ghost blood frezzes in his veins. A shame? A shame, this man better never comes near them ever again. "You okey sunshine?", his mom ask seeing his for her very unusal face expression. He slipped from Simon to the Ghost something his family just never saw. He need to take several deep breaths before he can answer his mum question getting concernt looks from everyone in the livingroom. Hes rescued from an answer by the doorbell.

Joe is sprinting down the stairs, its only one person that can ring with all his family downstairs. Emma and Mr MacTavish. He nearly falls in his haste and honstely the scene is mealting the cold rage inside of Ghost. Joe pulls the door open probably with a big smile. "Hey", he says a bit arkward and his mum mutters while shaking her head: "Just like his dad." "Hey, Joe", a girl is answering a her smile clearly can be heared in her voice. "Mr MacTavish", Joe greets his teacher after hugging his girlfriend. Emma MacTavish has the same big, lightening ther room up smile as Soap, but her Hair is red instead of brown, probably from her mother. She goes Joespeh nearly to his chin, perfect to rest the head on when you hug. Soap steps in and his long hair instead of a stupid mohawk is iritating the shit out of Ghost. Also Soap is way to tiny, no visibel bulk at all. Soap has shoulder long hair, just like Ghost before he cut his, he imgine its put up in class but at the moment its down. He has the same blue eyes he rembers from somewhere and this smile that punches the air out of Ghost chest. Thank fuck he dont blushes, because his mum will likely notice something early enough. "Well you know my parents and than is my nana Helena Riley and my uncel Simon", Joeseph intedudec the two. John heard is skipping a beat when he looks in Ghost brown eye the fuck he will do falling on love with the uncel of his daugthers boyfriend. Emma will probably never forgive him that.

They sit at the diner table the adult Rileys one onside and Joseph and the MacTavishs on the other. Beth cooked a vegetarian deep dish to the displeasement of Ghost with fucking eggplant in it. So while everyone is kinda busy talking with each other he picks the offensive plant out of his food. "Joe told us your really in to music from the 2000s", Beth says making Ghost turn in the conversation again. "I had to listen to a lot of it for a essay and it stucked", Emma says clearly exited about the topic. "What's your favourite song?, Helena asks intresstet. Lady Gagas Bad Romance Ghost thinks being so suprised about this knowledge he accidentally eats a piece of eggplant. "Bad Romance form Lady Gaga", Emma answers. "I never heard this song I think", Helena likes listens to older music. "I can send you my playlist Mrs Riley", Emma offers. "Call me Helena or Nana dear and that sounds lovely." "I think you also would like Karma from Taylor Swift", Emma says while inspecting her food also picking out the eggplant. "Oh what's the song about?", Helena ask intresstet. "That if you do good things Karma will make sure good things happen to you and the people you care for", Ghost answers automatically getting the attention of the hole table. "That sound lovely", his mother says with a smile on her face. "Could not have said it better", Emma says smiling. It's because that are you word Ghost thinks while drinking from his water glass. They go on to the dessert that are deffently made by his mom. Littel lemon tarts, Simons favourite. "So how is living with and I quote: Londons best and hottest lawyer", Soap asks as a joke getting a drop it look from Ghost and a emberest look from his daughter. "We heared thats technically illegal a lot", Tommy says punishing Ghost shoulder playfull. "It's because you always ask me oddly specifically if scenario x would be illegal which it is 90% of the time. The other 10% is it will be if you get caught", Ghost says while jabbing his elbow in Tommys site. "No disgusion of Law at diner", Beth reminds them annoyed. "Well technically diner is over Mum, dessert is not diner you told me that a lot", Joseph says imitating Ghost lawyer talk. Ghost just nods proudly using the own words against someone is important in law, while Tommy takes a big sip of his wine to not laught. Helena and Emma are chewing their tart suspiciously long. John has to take a deep breath to not laugh. "Sometimes as you know Joseph Riley diner has more then one course like today and then dessert is infact part of diner. So no law questions", Beth says stern. Joseph opens his mouth to say disagree and desites last second to say something else. "Emma also want to be a lawyer." "Oh really?" Ghost ask intresstetto his knowledge Emma wants to specialise as a alienspecies vetenarian. "Mum was the best family lawyer in Glasgow and I want to step on her foot steps", Emma says with a shining in her eyes like Soap when he is allowed to blow up something. "Family law is hard but important", Ghost just says getting a site eye from Beth. They change subjects after this till the last piece of dessert is eaten.

The teenager are sitting on the couch while the adults still talk at the diner table. "Well I thought Joe will never stop talking about Emma the whole school year, he hardly talks about anything else", Beth says a bit tipsy from the whine. "Mum!", Joseph protest from the couch. "Ah same here a have a check list of thinks Joseph Riley does by now", Soaps says loudly over the protest of his daughter. "DAD!", Emma says as a warning a familiar look of challenge in her eyes, that Ghost know all to well from his Soap. "Don't worry bumblebee I will keep the really embarrassing stuff for another time so that Beth can coordinate with storys about Joseph", Soap jokes and it clearly the wrong answer because Emma is narrowing her eyes pulling her lower lip on while thinking about a response. Ghost just smiles hearing that Soap uses the same nickname for daughter Emma as for niece Emma. "Well atleast I don't got called Soap by everyone because I blow up a soap dispenser at uni Dad", Emma answers clearly not pleased with her dad's answer. It seams that Soap is still Soap after all even as a teacher instead of... God he will figure that one out later. "Was an accident and technically not my fault", Soap protests. "Oh so what happened then?", Ghost asks with a raised eyebrow looking Soap directly in the eyes for the first time. Soap feels how his heart is about to jump out his chest, his hands geting sweaty and how his ears are getting warm, all just because Simon Riley is giving him his full attention. Fucking hell, he had his fair share of hot parents as a teacher but Simon Riley will be the death of him. "Well...", he starts never ever he had the problem to tell this story before, its likely because he's a lawyer and not because he's hot Soap lies to himself. "We tested a chemical reaction and I maybe put a bit to much of it in because I was distracted and then the dispenser exploded." "So it was your fault", Ghost concludes while shaking his head and Soap has to repress the urge to just agree with him. "No, I was distracted by a fellow student and he is,atleast half the reason it happened." "And still they only called you Soap." Holy fucking shit the way he says Soap is sending shivers down his spine. He hated this nick name but when Simon Riley says it it sounds like so good he wants to fall down on his knees. He's lucky he sits because he maybe would have done it embarrassing his daughter in front of Josephs family.

[getting-messi]

How did you find out Messi was leaving Barca ??? I know in general that was a bad day Messi fans

glad you asked dear friend😗

it was TRULY a dark day omg. So basically other than my older brother and I, nobody else knows/cares about football but just knows that im SUPER obsessed with Messi. And unfortunately….my brother is a ronald mcdonald fan🤮 (trust me, im extremely ashamed to be associated to him). So basically, i remember it SO clearly, the news dropped on like the first week of august on a thursday afternoon. 

I remember his contract expiring for the first time since he CAME to Barca in July and barca fans making jokes like “hahaha, greatest player in the world is a free agent, haha what a steal that we’re going to get him” like things were RELAXED AND CHILL. NO ONE could have expected what was going to happen. I do not like being deep in transfer rumours because it just peaks my anxiety so i stay out of it until things are official. But I did know that Messi’s dad came to Barcelona a few days before him to meet with Laporta and the board about his new contract and that it was announced he was taking a 50% pay cut. Then Messi came back to Barcelona after his vacation (he couldnt even enjoy his Copa victory for that long😖) and that he was coming into training EARLY to be with the team during pre-season and that his contract was going to be announced any day. 

NOW TO THE JUICY PART! I was working from home by myself, everyone was out, and i had just gotten out of a meeting and was going to get myself a lil iced coffee. It was a beautiful sunny day, i was in the best mood and right before i leave, i see a text from my brother and he sent me a tweet that was a Marca headline being like “BREAKING - Barcelona is planning to unexpectedly cut ties with Messi and he is leaving the Catalans” and i’ll be so honest with you - i didn’t even break a sweat. It didnt even make me flinch because at this point i didnt believe it. I was thinking “Marca have been wrong a lot, they are a madrid based news outlet, Messi is literally in Barca, like no way”. Just to be sure, I went to my trusted barca twitter pages and ALL of them were like “this is BS, dont believe it, Messi is signing a new contract, like WE ARE GOOD”. So i was like calm, amazing texted my brother not to send me BS reports and then off i went to get my lil drink of the day. I went and got it and on my way back, idk WHY but my phone wasn’t on Do not disturb but i also dont get too many notifications but it was going CRAZYYYYYYYYYYYY. Keep in mind, this was like 10 minutes after my brother sent me that tweet. I’m like what is going on???? and then right as i get to a red light and im about to check my phone, i see that my cursed brother is calling me and i answer and im like whats up, whats going on. Tell me why he was like “where are you and what are you doing”. Im like im in the car just coming back from getting a drink. He was like pull over. At this point my heart is in my throat and i literally thought a family member had died. So im like ok, and i pull over and literally itching with anticipation. And he was like, you didn’t believe that tweet i sent you, well look at what i just sent you now. And so while he’s on the line, i go straight to his texts and its a screenshot of the Barca IG page and my mind went fuzzy. I was like oh my god. If this was an extension announcement, it just would’ve been a picture of Messi. But instead im looking at this long text and my brothers like are you reading it. And im like literally numb parked on the side of the road. And I read “……mutaul agreement that Lionel Messi will be leaving FC Barcelona”. And i kinda just dropped my phone. My brother is talking to me kinda being a troll and i just hung up. And then im like reading my notifications and my friends and family who dont even WATCH football are being like “yo are you okay, is he actually leaving”. I couldnt even think, SO WHILE I AM STILL IN THE CAR, im like going to my barca twitter pages and theyre out here freaking out like i am, obviously those conspiracy theories were going around that it was just a stunt that Laporta and Messi were doing to get Javier Tebas to let Barca get away with this signing despite our financial mess. People were talking about how none of the barca players posted about it and i truly failed to believe it for the longest time until I think Busquests was the first to post a good bye and it just kinda sank in. 

But i just remember sitting in my car in silence for so long before driving back home. I usually listen to music or a podcast but i literally was just in silence as I got home feeling completely numb.

After i finally accepted that he would be leaving Barca and it was announced in a shitty IG post and the most pathetic 7-minute youtube video, i knew he was going to PSG. I think Grealish’s signing was actually announced the same day a few hours earlier before Barca posted the statement. But I couldn’t believe that they’d betray their most important player like that. It’s still shocking to think about. Like i actually think about how emotional Messi was at the press conference and it really says it all. He’s never cried like that EVER. Even after Copa ’16 when he lost the final and missed a pen and even RETIRED internationally, it wasnt as bad as it was during the press conference. You could really see how heartbroken he was. Especially after the Buro-fax situation that happened the season before and imagine that the world’s greatest player actually taking a 50% pay cut just to stay at your club. And keep in mind these are later years of his career and he was wiling to stay at a struggling Barca that he was single-handedly keeping in UCL and competitive in La Liga. Like he was willing to waste the last good years of his career during the rebuild period for Barca.

Someone said it in my previous answer, apologizing isn’t enough, Laporta REALLY needs to like drop dead or something. I thought I couldn’t hate anyone as much as I hated Barto and look at that🥴

[nathank77]

8/6/24

8:51 a.m

I slept fine and fell asleep fast. I had anxiety but I still fell asleep fast. I had anxiety about my rapid eye movement again. But it's whatever I knocked out. That's always going to be a thing.

I mean I took a xanax from a different batch but I dont think it was that. I think it was because I did a lot of stuff all day and kept myself busy. I also didn't have a red bull.

It's annoying tbh bc I should be able to have 2 red Bulls and game all day and fall asleep easily. I don't get it.

Today I mean I have phone calls. I have Mike at 11. I may go to the attic and make a couple of those bins but idk. I want to shower before Mike and get it off my list. I may just hold off on that. I have laundry on the list but I hate laundry. Idk I'll prob do it. I got to go grocery shopping either tomorrow or Thursday but im trying to save money and not go more than once a week atm.... I won't need protien bars but I'm still going to spend a decent amount... which is why I'm trying to go once a week.

I had a really scary dream. I was in a hotel with a serial killer who I knew and he was dismembering mostly women. But he would dismember men too. He had women who were just torsos. And he would collect them and then just dismember them.

I wanted to get away from him and I got into my car which wasn't my car and I drove to the mall. I was hiding from him with some girl he was going to dismember. And I was staying at a room in the mall like a hotel room. He found us. Idk why he hadn't dismembered me before I left the hotel and got to the mall.

When he found us we ran. He broke into our hotel room at the mall.

I feel like the dream ended there. I never got dismembered I don't think the girl i was with did either but I have no recollection of who she was and if she was important to me or just someone I was saving.

I don't know what it means. I'm going to look into it.

It does remind me of the dream I had where i was at an airport and then I saw Elise and her husband and her husband left us alone and then the air port police chased us down and we ran in opposite directions. They chased us down bc we used to be therapist and client.

I worked there and the air plane would fly over these high elevation snow mountains. People would fall off all the time and land on these snow mountains and snow would hit the window as the plane pulled up and me and my dad and the polit went on a rescue mission and dad and the pilot left me on a snowy mountain and I saw a hand sticking out of the snow and I went to grab it and it was frozen and no one was attached to it.

I remember as part of that dream after me and Elise met up and got chased. We met there again and it was kinda uneventful. She eventually left and I stopped thinking about her. It was like once we reconnected and talked and I accepted she was married and she had no feelings for me (which I already have in real life) but in this dream then she didn't exist to me anymore. As I reached for that frozen hand and everything after we met up and talked, she wasn't a thought..it was like all I needed from her was closure.

But yea. Idk why the serial killer dream reminds me of that dream. I mean that dream was really vivid. So vivid I can still see it. I mean the one I had last night was too.

[lunechante]

My back has been aching at least 6 hours a day for the past 2 weeks. I have had chest pain at least 6 hours a day for the past week. When I concentrate on my breathing, I realise that I can never really catch my breath. I realised that two weeks ago. All these feelings are varying in intensity throughout the day.

After a week, I thought that, as my burn out thermometer states, I would call my GP if things didn’t change. On Monday, a new feeling appeared in my wrists. I could feel my blood pumping and it felt heavy. Sometimes it’s just the wrist, or the elbow, of the forearm. Sometimes it’s from the fingertips to the back ribs.

On Thursday I had an important project meeting, and on Friday a training I’d been leaving no stone unturned to make sure I’d be registered for. That training - about the film Persepolis - was the best 3 hours of my weeks. The only 3 hours without any pain. That ended awfully as I turned the radio on when it ended, only to hear that a teacher - thus a colleague - has been stabbed, just a couple of days before the 3-years anniversary of an other.

So, I did not call my GP during that week. I kept going. Because I could do it a few years ago, why not anymore? Because I was engaged in that project, I could let the kids down. Because I wanted to attend that Persepolis training (and I’m so glad I did!). Because I really thought working 80% would be enough to get a better balance. Because whatever I try to do to get better is never enough. Because everyone around me does so much more. Because I can’t accept that I’m never going back to all I could do in my teens or 20s. Because I’m so used to feeling that constant pain and not to act upon it. Because everyone else's shit seems so much more than my own. Because I still don’t know where the limit is.

That physical pain never comes alone. There is also the emotions and the thoughts. That I’m not enough. That I'm a bad, selfish person. A useless piece of shit, not capable of anything, always complaining. Everyday I get exhausted more easily than the previous one.

And that's when the other thoughts come in. The "what's the point?", the self-harm and suicidal flashes. Oh, I don't want to act upon those, they just appear out of nowhere. But what if I get even more exhausted? Then I believe all of it. A few months ago I even became impulsive.

Keeping busy helps diminishing the pain and the thoughts. But they’re back as soon as my brain is not focused on three different things at once. And most things that keep me busy this way involve social interactions (spending time with my friends and family, face to face or on the phone, working: being with my classes or my colleagues). Then I’ll have to pay the price: more exhaustion brings worse symptoms. Even going to the cinema yesterday was exhausting. The crowd was so noisy.

Often, I want to tell the people who are close to me. When I do, they usually don't say anything other than "see a professional" - when they say anything at all. The "professionals" answer is that I have to adapt my environnement to my needs. I dont get any help in doing that. So I feel that I’m helpless. And that talking about it makes me a burden. If no one can help, and considering how hard it is for me to acknowledge these pains and thoughts, then surely they're not real problems. Makes me so ashamed.

How do I know whether I'm actually not able to go further or if I simply am just lazy? How do I know the limit? When to stop? What level of pain, of self-deppreciative thoughts is acceptable or not?

[agentkikirogers]

work issues// long ass post

I recently found out that I haven't been putting credit/debit codes in the finance app at work for like 6 months now.

So if i get $50 dollars that a customer paid with card, it says in the system that i have 50 DOLLARS in my drawer. So, when I end up making a deposit, I don't have that 50.

When I found out my boss and supervisor say that is not it because they "checked" but how if I never put it in the app. I asked what the think happened and they either 1. imply i stole the money or 2 my sister did (she's not stupid) or that i passed out the wrong change numerous times. I'm not going to pass out 20 or 40 dollars back instead of 7. Then one day I asked my boss again and he said Internal Affairs will be involved if I dont pay. This was around October/November.

So, I went on Reddit asking for advice. They said don't pay. That my boss was trying to scare me and there was no such thing for internal affairs for our place employment. I called five different people from Union and they couldn't help because I'm not in the union I guess? Idk how so they couldnt help.

So yesterday the supervisor shows up to count. I told her that I was supposed to have a signed paper stating that I owed 100.60 . Which she didn't and only sent an email that wasn't even a official count, nor was it report in the first place. So she got huffy and called the boss. Then got off the phone and said that the informed request was if she counted the drawer. So I'm like fine count it.I go to the other chair across the room and eat my breakfast watching her occasionally. She finishes it.

Offers for me to count, I'm dumb so I told her I believed her. So she goes on the computer again. ( after talking about using fake money orders (we have to put them in areas for customers to see or take and then report them to the cops. )

She tells me i owe 65(wait i thought it was 100) and that if i reject the payment tom sign a informed consent form. She also said if I wanted to pay that I can pay and we can forget this ever happened. Okay is it just me or is that really suspicious?

So my dumbass paid because I was scared and didnt know what to do and she gave me my change back and then left. So anyway during this she said, "okay we can act like this never happened."UM red flag much? then later she left. Sigh. I'm just... DONE.

BUT once of the nicest employees from a different office gave me a contact number of someone a day before my supervisor came and she called me today on Thursday which it was too late but anyway. She told me it was red flags and I shouldnt have to pay.

So I got everything possible to put together and scanned into pdfs. I get off work at 3 and was on the phone trying to call someone from accounting help desk again. I wanted to see if they could print off all the reports of my drawer counts that were used to determine my supposed drawer shortage.

The first one after 55 minutes said I couldn’t access them so she couldn’t tell me them and ended up hanging up on me. Then wrote a report saying I wanted the previous worker’s drawer count reports. Which is NOT what I asked for. So I tried to call accounting again after 6 times I finally got someone and they said that there were only 2 reports on in 2022 and one that was this week (2/23/23).

After all of that, only having two official reports it seemed like a let down to help the questions I have about this issue.Also is it normal policy to put the total of the customer’s purchase in a separate envelope instead of the cash drawer? Seems weird.

[jade-parcels]

Okay so now that I got the go ahead to spam your inbox with thirsts, be prepared for me to only shut up to go to sleep uwu(/hj)

Okay but imagine for the ones that use nicknames/dont really want people to know they work there:

You're a friend of theirs, but live outside the city/the other side, but after hearing all these great reviews you decide to head over to the cafe to check it out yourself. You asked them if they wanted to go grab a drink(without mentioning the cafe) but they said they were busy, so you head over alone. You sit down and your waiter arrives, as you turn to them, you make eye contact.

Or where youre new in town and become a regular to them. They always look forward to your visits and one day take the plunge and ask you out. Maybe a phone number on a napkin/receipt? Or "wanna go grab a drink sometime?" Written in icing on your desert.

(also, headcanon, someone once tried to put their tip under the strap of childes fanny pack. They were lucky to leave with their life lmao)

👯‍♂️💕👯‍♂️💕👯‍♂️💕👯‍♂️💕👯‍♂️💕👯‍♂️💕👯‍♂️💕👯‍♂️

Head over heels for them at the bunny cafe

With Diluc, Dain, Xiao, Scara, Dottore, and Baizhu

From my bunny cafe au

👯‍♂️💕👯‍♂️💕👯‍♂️💕👯‍♂️💕👯‍♂️💕👯‍♂️💕👯‍♂️💕👯‍♂️

Diluc/“Angel”

Tuesday nights are usually slow. Without fail, Tuesdays always drag on and on, it’s the only time when Diluc dislikes his job. That is, until you start coming in

You always have a grin on your face and order the same drink every time. You also always ask for ‘Angel’ every time you come in, leaving if he isn’t there. At least that’s what Kaeya and Zhongli tell him. Diluc has a small handful of intimate regulars who he chats with, he’d like to get to know you more too

Diluc recognizes a pattern to when you come in. You come on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, always after 6pm and you only stay until 11pm. He sneakily shifts his schedule so he can be there to see you every time. He denies it when Beidou asks…but she knows the truth. She sees how he looks at you

The two of you bond over similar interests and he has you be his taste tester for new drinks he’s thinking of adding to the menu. Every time he makes a new drink, he writes its name on a napkin and slides it to you across the bar before turning his attention to other patrons. A blue cocktail called ‘cloudy sky’, a yellow one called ‘sun drop’, a purple one called ‘bunny’s treasure’….And a red one called ‘Wanna go out to dinner tomorrow?’

You nearly choke on the drink as you’re reading the napkin, snapping your head up to look at the redhead but he won’t even meet your gaze, seemingly embarrassed. You hang around until his shift is over so you can chat while he wipes the bar down “I…I’m sorry if that was cheesy of me. I just can’t express myself with words very well, I do much better with actions. So please, let me take you out somewhere” he doesn’t look you in the eye but he doesn’t need to, you can see that he’s being genuine “I’d love to be with you outside of work”

“I’d love to go out with you, Angel. Will you still wear the fishnets though or no?~” “Don’t push your luck…”

Dainsleif/“Sweetie”

Dain is a friend of a friend, you’ve seen him around though you haven’t gotten to interact much

You’ve got friends staying over from out of town and they totally begged you to take them to this bunny cafe!! They’ve seen so many people talking about it online and they can’t believe you’ve never been!! You obliged only because you didn’t expect the breakfast crowd to be so large. The place is so busy, you can’t believe this is how it looks on a weekday in the morning!!

You recognize Dain immediately and as he seats you and your friends, you go to ask how he is “Oh! Hey Dain, how have you been?” He immediately tenses up a little, reaching up to gently rest a hand on your shoulder “Aha, I’d like you to avoid using my name here” he tells you softly, low enough that your friends can’t hear. He’s so close you can smell his cologne and chocolate on his breath. Then, all too quick he pulls away, handing out menus and explaining the day’s special

When he turned around to leave, you had to peel your eyes away from him DAMN!!! He’s got a nice ass. You and all of your friends share a look that assures you they’re all thinking the same thing. They also picked up on that little exchange you two had ;) they start to urge you to give him your number, not knowing that you two kinda know each other already!!

You guys eat your breakfast and loiter around a little in order to check out the other bunnies. You all split the bill, handing the cash over to ‘Sweetie’. Your friend winks at you as they take a napkin with your number on it, fold it, and stick it in chest of Dain’s uniform. He looks a bit flustered but doesn’t question the gesture, leading you all back to the front of the cafe to take a picture together before you go

You and your friends walk around the city for hours, until your feet are sore and arms hurt from carrying shopping bags. As you all collapse back on your couch after returning to your apartment, you get a text from an unknown number “Hey. Do you want to hang out sometime? I know we haven’t talked in awhile. It’d be good to get back in touch”

Your friends all whoop and shake your shoulders as you respond, setting a time and place for your date 0-0

Xiao/“Tofu”

Xiao lives in a small apartment in Little Liyue, just a few blocks from the cafe. When he goes to school, he takes his motorcycle. He’s kinda hard to miss, you’ve come to admire him. You guys have a class together at your uni, just some art appreciation class that he actually seems to really like!!

You’ve tried chatting with him on multiple occasions, talking about art or asking about his tattoos, anything that interests him since you just wanna learn about him!! He seems so interesting, you can’t help but be curious

He’s always ‘busy’ after classes so he can’t ever go on study dates, he says he has a job but won’t say what it is. You try guessing and yet you’re wrong every time but you feel like you’ve guessed correctly before…he just lied. But why??

You find yourself at the cafe when they have a promotion going on, they’re collaborating with a company you like! So you head on in to get a themed drink and snack, you don’t plan on being there long! That is…until you see a familiar face

What are the odds that Xiao would be seating you? He won’t look you in the eyes as he brings you to your table, clearing his throat “Is there anybunny special you’d like to wait on you today?” He looks so embarrassed. “I’d like it if you’d be my waiter today, Xiao-“ “Hey- Hey please don’t use my name here. It’s bad enough I have you seeing me here…”

You kinda feel bad now and from the looks of it, he does too. “I didn’t mean to say that. Sorry. I just didn’t want you to see me here before I could take you out on a real date…I thought you’d think I’m a weirdo or something” he still won’t look at you, he focuses his attention in shuffling the menus in his hands

“Of course I don’t think you’re a weirdo. This is your job” you assure him “And I’d be a liar if I said you didn’t look good in your uniform. Please, my uniform is so ugly, if anything I probably look like a weirdo when I’m there” “You’re not weird. You’re cute” Xiao blurts out, practically shoving a menu into your hands and walking away. You can see how he’s blushing, the tips of his ears are red

Albedo is your waiter for the rest of your stay only because Xiao can’t even look at you across the room without getting flustered. Albedo slips you Xiao’s number as you’re on your way out the door, winking at you as he seats a new group at the table you were at previously

You text Xiao to ask if he wants to go out for drinks this weekend. It’s almost funny how fast he responds “I’d love that” :)

Scaramouche/“Boss”

You’re kinda new around here and you’re looking for fun things to do in the city. You find yourself at Celestia’s bunny cafe after seeing so many positive reviews. Let’s just say you were shocked to see the place after dark

All of the pictures online depict a pink, sweet, cute cafe…But now that the bar is open and the lights are low, it’s a bit raunchy in here! And crowded

You get yourself a drink, squeezing through the crowd to find a spot to sit. Someone bumps into you and your glass tips, green liquid sloshing out and onto the floor…And someone’s shoes

That someone is a bunny. He puts a hand on your arm, looking down at the mess…Then back up to you “Were you just going to walk away from this mess you made?” “No! No, I was going to set my glass down so I could-“ “Don’t lie to me. Ugh, look at this. Now my shoes will be sticky all night” he narrows his eyes, getting a little closer “If it was up to me, I’d make you lick them clean~” with a cocky smirk and a little squeeze on your arm, he pulls away, disappearing into the crowd

You’re so stunned by that little interaction 0-0 how dare he speak to you like that!!…How dare he not come back and speak to you like that again…

You squeeze back through the crowd, chugging your drink so you won’t spill any more, managing to catch up to him “You again? What, are you gonna clean me up? Or just stand there gawking at me like a fool” oh archons you’re really falling for him…falling for a total asshole

“You’re the one who bumped into me, bunny boy. Why don’t you get me another drink” you hand your empty glass over to him, earning an amused smile from the bunny “You’ve got some spunk, huh? Alright, fine I’ll get you another drink”

That’s all it takes for you to become a regular of his, stopping by for the night shift in order to chat with him when things aren’t busy or to steal him away when things are busy

Dottore/Alain/“Doc”

You two met at an old job in your college days (Pizza Hut Dottore Pizza Hut Dottore-) so you’ve kept in touch. You’ve kinda had feelings for him for awhile but he just doesn’t seem to be picking up on your flirting so you decide to be a bit more forward with your advances

“Hey, Alain, do you wanna go get a drink this weekend? I dunno, I just think it’d be fun” “This weekend? Eh…I’m a bit busy this weekend. Maybe next week” As long as you’ve known him, you’ve never heard of him working on a weekend so you just kinda assumed he didn’t want to go out with you

So you decided to check out the bunny cafe/bar that everyones been raving about. Maybe you’d make a friend at the bar! Or just have a good time being waited on by hot men in bunny outfits, who could resist?

You showed your ID to get in around 10pm, the bar was open for the night now! You were seated at a table near the bar since it was so crowded. Kaeya took your order and as he moved away, you caught sight of a familiar head of mint colored hair

“- so lean over and take it!” You watch in shock as he spanks a customer with a wooden paddle, the customer’s friends cheering as they film the whole thing on their phones. You’ve never seen such a side of your friend…and you’ve gotta admit it’s pretty hot.

Alain looks over your way for just a split second, just enough for you two to make eye contact. He excuses himself from that table and makes his way to yours, leaning over the pink table cloth to get in your face

“Can I help you?” He asks, his voice sounding strained “What, did you fucking follow me here?” You rush to assure him that you didn’t even know he worked here!! You just stopped by on a whim!!

“Well… Obviously I’m at work right now. I told you I was free later this week. Let’s aim for Wednesday night, I’ll take you somewhere nice if you promise to never tell anyone I work here. Deal?”

The rest of the night is somewhat of a drunken blur. After getting roped into a drinking game with another table, Alain stuffs you into his car and drives you home. You wake up the next morning with a killer headache, a set of bunny ears you apparently bought and a sticky note reminding you of the date you two planned together the night before ;)

Baizhu/“Honey”

The first time you went to the cafe with your friends, Baizhu had been working. You had no idea that he rarely worked, you just assumed he worked there as often as his other coworkers did! ‘Angel’ was there most weeknights, Albedo was there almost every day, ‘Doc’ was even somewhat consistent with his hours but for the life of you, you just couldn’t catch ‘Honey’ again!!

You made it a habit to ask about him, asking other bunnies to pretty please look and see when he was scheduled to come in next!! You just really wanted to see him again! That first time he waited on you and your friends, you’d absolutely fallen head over heels for him! And if was like the guy just vanished into thin air!!

His coworkers always told you they had no idea when he was coming in again, laughing a little at your disappointment “He’ll show up again! We’ll tell him you’re looking for him, okay?”

Sure enough, when you stop by on a whim after work, there he is. Honey’s at the front desk, flipping through receipts with his glasses perched on the end of his nose, looking oh so elegant just like he did when you saw him that day three weeks ago!!

Before you could even say anything, you could hear Ajax yelling from inside “HEY HONEY!! LOOK WHO’S HERE FOR YOU!!!”

He looks up at you and gestures for you to come closer “Ah, so you’re the one who’s been coming here looking for me~ Here I am, master, what can I do for you?” You know he’s toying with you and you can’t help but blush

You ask him to have lunch here at the cafe with you, he actually seems happy to! He sits and chats with you for an hour or so, his coworkers leaving you guys alone since they know how badly you wanted fo see him

“I’ll have you know, I got so many texts about you that I came in just for you today” he hums “I must say I’m not disappointed. Will you come see me again? I’ll be here next Friday from 2-4” he pays your bill himself before sending you on your way for the night. You still can’t believe that he showed up just for you 0-0 and you can’t help but feel giddy just thinking about seeing him again

😵‍💫Please excuse any spelling/grammar errors it’s 1am 😵‍💫

[gryphis-eyes]

Hi gryphis! For the ask game, I want to ask about sun, moon, mc, 12h. And I want to ask about what is your daily worshiping routine to your deities belike? Another question is that can you teach me how to build a simple basic altar so that as an asian who live with my mom, i dont want to be busted :"). Thank you so much, have great day and i hope you will get better soon :3

Hello 🧡 12h is in an other ask :)

sun ⇢ name 5 things you like about yourself?

I'd say my hair, eyes, hands (my nails 💅✨) ngl i love myself for the mental i built up with Time, and finaly my humor i make myself laugh too often (i do laugh about my own jokes while being alone in public 🤣)

moon ⇢ do you suppress your feelings?

I used to do it a lot back in time (whole childhood tbh) im still working on it because it's something i got used to do so much it became natural to do it :/ but im getting better !

MC ⇢ what kind of reputation do you think you have?

I have absolutly no idea lol i used to think people often forgot about me (sometimes it's true) but apparently it's strange when im not around them, i think depending on the people im wether very cold or kinda cool

Daily worship

First for me daily = as often as i can so it can be everyday to once a week. Since i work with multiple deities i end up letting them chosing a day of the week (one chosed 2) so im less lost on what to do. Demons favor action over devotion while deities like both, i end up developping something with each of them but there are things i do for everyone : i started by picking one card for each of them, meditation (15 minutes or more) drawing them, using colors associated with them (even for makeup) or just draw some little doodle of them, watching or reading stuff that remind me of them or are about them same with music i got songs that i associated with them. Now those specific to each :

Léviathan : on monday and thursday, i drink tea on my altar and share it with him (i drink half and let the mug for him or i put some of the liquid in his chalice or a cup) draw/paint with blue ink or put blue makeup since he really enjoy art

Asmodeus : on tuesday, i light his candle as long as i stay in the same room as his altar, sport (i really try💀) wear his necklace the whole day (and even other) he does like a 3 card spread with the deck i gave him

Seth : on saturday, it's the whole day for him but he did enjoy daily prayer but i mostly do them in my mind while meditating or taking action. He also enjoy sport or just me moving outside it can also be a video game as long as it involve some action ! He enjoys food especialy snacks so he got some often

There is the special case of Ra where i just wear his necklace during sunday

Altar

I know we all got in mind big fancy altar that take half of a room but in the end an altar can be a little wood box or even a shoe box ! If it's an altar for a deity the most important thing to have is a representation of them and it can be very discreet for exemple if the deity is associated with crows you can just buy a crow plush or figure even an object with one on it, if they are associated with roses then buy a bouquet and let them dry (or take them in the wild). Hell it can even be a paper with their name on it or a drawing, phone background ! I even saw a picrew to make your custom altar. I could suggest a candle but idk if your mom will be ok with it, same with encens you can just say you like the smell and it's something associated with a being. I think on Tumblr it's called "closet altar" or "altar box" you can find a lot of exemple

[squeiky]

!!!List of papyrus things!!!

(Update 3! mini update.)

For anyone who needs more info on the guy! Since you usually dont see alot of info about him!

A list of stuff thats just papyrus's tid bits i've collected overtime!

(Disclaimer: some things can be taken off of memory, though I did search most of the stuff up, so you dont have to worry too much. But if your feeling unsure, search it up! And correct me while your at it.)

his room doesn't play/have music.

(If you have reunited playing at enter his room, it'll disappear forever. Untill you go back and let it play again. Even without reunited, a song that plays no matter what room your in, doesn't play any music.)

Never takes off his battle body.

(According to sans, he only takes it off if he has no other choice too. Otherwise he'll just put clothes ontop of it, or just repaints it if needed. He does how ever, change his pants but never takes off the top.)

the minute "royal gaurd " is out of the picture, he's got nothing.

(It was the one thing he worked up for. When the royal gaurd disbands He says he "working hard on doing absolutely nothing". Then again this can be interpreted as papyrus does say he is working on something, despite not being a royal gaurd yet.)

He lies. (And can manipulate)

(Though he is really bad at lying, he seems to manipulate just fine, though its usually not out of malice. He gets undyne to befreind you by mentioning "challenge", which is a weakness of hers, since she never can turn down a challenge. And has lied about floweys name to her to. Has lied to sans or atleast mislead him about the things he knows about. Pretended he didn't know what a lab was during a call in hotland, but if you call him when sans isn't there, papyrus mentions the lab as if it was common knowledge instead of saying "Labrador-y?" As if he had no idea.)

Changes up his attacks

( if you get captured a few times, you see variation in his attacks. If you do it right, you can get him too skip half of his entire attack.)

Calls his own puzzles "Awful"

(This happens after battling papyrus, he says "WHO KNEW THAT ALL I NEEDED TO MAKE PALS... WAS TO GIVE PEOPLE AWFUL PUZZLES AND THEN FIGHT THEM??" This could be interpreted in many ways.)

Spikes, fire, traps, fencless bridges: are all safe for children, according to papyrus.

("EACH AREA HAS TO HAVE A PRECARIOUS BRIDGE" -bridge likely to collapse, dangerous. "ITS MANDATED BY THE GOVERNMENT. OF COURSE KING FLUFFYBOY WANTS TO UNMANDATE IT SAFER." "WHY?! WONT HE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!)

Has "talked" with asgore before.

(Sadly, asgore and papyrus has crossed paths. Asgore advises him not to but dangerous puzzles around town, for the children. Papyrus wants to put dangerous puzzles around town, for the children. This results in them bickering over saftey laws, with papyrus usually winning.)

Tried to start a flowey fan club

(On multiple occasions calls flowey "his best freind" and shows genuine love for the little guy. He even gave flowey a little red scarf to match his, during the 5th anniversary winter alarm clock.)

Has photo-graphic memory for phone calls.

-call in the room where undyne chased you. He seems nervous, or atleast stressed out during this call. I'll leave any and all interpretation to you.)

(Ps: papyrus has bad memory, but good photographic memory?)

His disliking for grease

(Says this during a call with undyne in grillby's place. Undyne says she loves grease, and he quickly dismisses his opinion in favor of hers. Of course, papyrus HAS visited grillbys before, as the dogamy and doggeressa mention him with sans. )

Calls alphys "great"

(During the first tile puzzle, he praises alphys by calling her "THE GREAT DR. ALPHYS" )

Knows about undynes crush on alphus

(He teases undyne a few times on this, leading to the "hot voice" and "audible wink" papyrus lines. He's not oblivious to the things around him, unless he chooses to be.)

Put limes in his eyes!

(Conversation in hotland! The guy thought limes where cucumbers and stuck them in his eyes. When. He thought it wasn't working he put more limes. It burned like hell but he says it was all to have "mettaton's bishoning eyes")

Knows about mtt's eyes

(Nobody seems to know that mettaton has eyes?! Undyne confirms this fact. Papyrus is the only one who outright mentions it.)

He got mettaton to do the tile puzzle thing

(FOR SOME UNEXPLAINED REASON- mettaton was the tile puzzle robot alphys built. The puzzle robot papyrus had during his own tile puzzle. Infact, during mettaton's tile puzzle in hotland, he says that you'd is this a few hundred rooms ago. If you call papyrus, he starts rambling on all the instructions again. Hehe.)

he likes dinosaur oatmeal

(According to the undertale tumblr, flowey response to "whats papyrus's favorite food?" Is DINOSAUR OATMEAL!! YAY!)

really enjoys mtt's show and mtt in general.

(and mtt even helped him with a tile puzzle)

enjoys cars

Owns a car bed

(Want to drive one)

really freaking artistic!

(Paints a whole bridge, makes a snowpapyrus, made his own costume/battle body, built a okay replica of a sentry station)

The red book on the table in the skelebro's house is infact his!

(For specifics, the quantum mechanics book with infinite books inside of it. It isn't specified who reads it, but both brothers should be capable as jokes and puns are not out of papyrus wardrobe.)

has his own shed and tools.

(Also known as "the punishment shed, doghouse, cpature zone, guest room, a garage" or undyne's pun which was "the coolshed". Ah, to be enriched by shed puns... Wonderful.)

tried to learn the "horoscope"

(Got "stumped" according to sans)

thinks junior jumble is harder than crossword

wants a 6 pairs of hot pants and 6 pairs of legs to wear those pants

has a dream of owning a shop where he just sells flames

(Call near in waterfall, near the turtle man shop.)

He's very influential

(If he's the only one killed in a neutral run, even without undyne, a revolution will still occur. Look into it yourself if need be.)

Called himself a genius

(During the instance, where he talks to you after turning the light on in sans's room.)

Can't really tell when someones mad

(He couldn't tell when undyne was mad at him during a call. He asks us too.)

Doesn't watch anime.

(He thinks its like cartoons for babies. Jokes around with undyne for awhile before taking it all back once he knew she watched anime.-during one of the calls.)

Brutal kind of guy

(He says this himself, i don't exactly know WHY he thinks this of himself, but he does.)

Bookworm

Owns a bookshelf

(He has a book Its where his vast dictionary comes from.

Knows about the time and space manipulation tactics sans uses.

(HE KNOWS- HE MENTIONS IT WHEN HE TURNS ON THE LIGHT IN SANS'S ROOM!!)

believes you can be a better person, if you just try.

(And he's right. Even if you kill him he still believes this, beacuse well.. Its true. Undyne wont forgive you and try to kill you, sans won't fight you, bht he's still right either way)

Knows about river person

(He asks about how river person is doing. No body seems to know about river person, and its unsure if undyne knows about their prescence.)

The days in his date scene (Monday, Tuesday, weekday, Thursday,e.c.t ) changes depending on your computer. Even though the date in undertale is always Monday.

(River person has a scheduled thing that matches up to your computer date as well, but this is about papyrus, not river person.)

Weird abilities

(Flying and super speedy twirling, flying backwards. He doesn't even hide it.)

He's pretty freaking tough!

(According to undyne, the person who defeated asgore.)

His "absolutely normal attack" is a giant cluster of bones.

(In theory, his attack could be the size of the entire area, including the giant bone at the end.)

Papyrus can lower the giant bone at the end of his "absolutely normal attack"

Has Collection of bones (or was planning to make one.)

(The room behind the sink was made for.. His attacks/bones. Before toby(dog)came in and made a shrine instead.)

Is annoying dog's favorite target.

Has a cannon, spears, fire thingy, and a dog at his disposal.

(Displayed during the bridge scene)

One persistent dude.

Likes to say "NYEHEHE!"

Has alot of MTT items.

Owns makeup!

(Mtt brand of course!)

Never dated anyone before.

(He says it himself.)

owns a dating manual

Not much of a sleeper.

(To the point where he just calls sleeping "naps" which aren't that long. He outright says he's always working, so he doesn't sleep.)

Dislikes hotland

dislikes hotland x2

Dislikes hotlands puzzles

Dislikes hotlands ethics.

Doesnt know much about hotland

(Says he knows it like the back of his hand!)

Says he never taken off his gloves, so he has no idea how his hands look like.

(He wears gloves or mittens on top of his gloves. And refuses to take it off, like his "battle body")

Calls hotland's steam puzzles garbage.

Dislikes hotlands conveyors

Thinks L1 and R2 stand for left and right

( Of course, it takes him awhile. He starts making puns, and tries to compare the words to pasta, and THEN comes to the conclusion that its left and right. Its Trail and error.-)

Knows about death.

(Said he wanted to meet death one time during a waterfall call.)

He pauses when speaking as a lost soul.

("I MUST CAPTURE A HUMAN! THEN EVERYONE WILL. ...." This is unusual as he is the only one that pauses. This can be interpreted, but it is rather interesting nonetheless)

Alright this is a bit more interpretive. Things may not be 100% facts down here.

Disclaimer: i will be putting "Interpretive" in red coloring for things that have may my interpretation or opinions in! Please do be mindful in your search, and take it with a grain of salt. It doesn't make it comepelty wrong, it has facts! Just muddled with oppinions.

Ready?

self-worth problems.

( can be called interpretive: He always feels very unimportant, as if he doesn't actually matter. During a call in waterfall, with the puddle hallway, papyrus talks about not letting it "get to you" or something along the lines of that. Since undyne speaks from her experience with the puddles, then i'd assume papyrus would too.)

(I think its just a sign of self doubt or insecurity. Someone once said its dysphoria, which is a cool headcannon for paps or something. What ever it is, he has some demons that he doesn't want to let out.)

Forgetable.

( according to the genocide description)

( Interpretive: Other than that, he's not even noticable. Though, there are a few people that appreciate him, most dont really acknowledge him. Unless you kill him of course!)

Sad/depressed?

( interpreitive as well:Before the human showed up, sans explains how his brother was feeling quite down lately. We see a.. Happier side of papyrus through out our journey.. He vents out to us, the player/human, about things he dislikes, or troubles he faces. Hes like a froggit. Life is hard for a froggit.)

Smiles through things.

("This is where I tried to capture you! What a bad memory." -quote he says as he smiles through it all. He does have a sad emote, but so far i have only seen it during a call in hotland, where the CORE was shown. As your adventure is coming close.. To an end.)

Uses his playful "OUCH!" emote when you straight up kill him. Instead of his hurting/in pain emote when flowey catches him off guard before absorbing everyonesones souls.

(The reason is unkown, but that emote is normally associated with more of "light taps." Examples are, toriel's fireballs at asgore and flowey. Unless... Cutting off his head was considered a "light tap" then, but flowey wrapping him in painful vines is considered more painful than getting his head chopped off and still having enough consciousness to joke about it.)

He knows his cooking sucks and that nobody likes it.

(He's not naive. He knows. He even says it. "Nobody has like my cooking before!" - QUOTE. This isn't some hidden fact. He's trying his best, "mabye next year, he might even make something edible." -sans quote.)

That was all the stuff i gathered for now.

Feel free to tell me anything i haven't added! :)

yeah, hes a pretty cool dude, ain't he?

(Edit: i've added some new things to the bunch, and fixed/deleted ome opinions or unrelated junk. Please, continue helping me add!)