#also had to take the screenshot on my phone so its not the best

[iguessitsjustme]

The show is called This Love Doesn’t Have Long Beans and I can’t help but think that Kluer’s love definitely does have long beans

Look at this man. I’ve been laughing at this moment for almost a week. I love him.

[rae-writes]

An Angel...

om demons x reader (+Simeon, Solomon)

wc : 1.k

warnings : simping bois, humor, some sprinkled suggestive comments

synopsis : a deviltok trend has the boys on their knees for you (though that’s nothing new)

a/n : this audio scratches an itch in my brain and I needed to do something with it

angel ver. 

<Asmodeus> GUYS!!!  YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS!!!! NOW!!!!! LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

[attachment sent]

Casually clicking on the video file, his interest peaked immediately when he saw you. Clad in your RAD uniform, you were positioned in frame a couple steps back. 

“Who are you?” 

He watched you slowly stalk forward with a smile on your face; it was both reassuring and off putting. Only someone like him would be able to notice. 

“An angel…”

You held out your hand towards the camera gently, as if beckoning someone closer. 

“What’s your name?”

The transition was fast— smooth. In an instant, your hand came up and grabbed the phone, like you were choking someone, causing the frame to shake. 

“Satan.”

Once the shaking transition stopped, with your hand still in its previous position, his mouth dropped. You had completely transformed yourself into what he assumed is your version of their demon form. 

Realistic black sheep horns protruded from your head, curling backwards around your ear and ending at your middle jaw. There were light purple extensions added here and there, blending with your hair perfectly. Your free hand had come up to splay over your malicious grin- showing off the fangs you’d added and the sharpness of your new nails. The outfit you wore was revealing- black with shiny accents and shiner jewelry - easily showing the intricate marks you’d drawn over the exposed skin. 

[8 people saved a video attachment] 

Lucifer

His stupidly handsome face forms the most obnoxious smug smirk imaginable 

Don’t get me wrong, he was absolutely flustered. On the inside. 

On the outside though, he radiated pride and smugness 

Like ‘yeah. That’s my Mc. mine. Eat it.’ 

Not that he would ever speak those words. Totally not

Was he also slightly bugged that Asmo seemed to be the only one who had access to this video? Sure. 

Was he gonna make sure his brothers, Diavolo, and Barbatos deleted this from everything they owned? Of course. 

But first, he’s gotta get you to dress up like that for him in person 

Mammon

Mans was astonished. Eyebrows had shot through the heavens, mouth was dropped down to sea floor level, cheeks were a blazing inferno— he was in awe 

First thought : ‘HELL YEAH, MC, YA LOOK HOT!’ 

Second thought : ‘WAIT HOLD UP, THE OTHERS ARE SEEIN THIS TOO-‘ 

Really though, Mammon is just so in awe at how gorgeous you looked 

especially in that gold he knows he bought you

Immediately takes a screenshot of you in that getup and makes it his home screen wallpaper

Then he texts you, begging demanding you dress up like that again because he wants to make videos with you in his demon form too!

I mean, if he doesn’t get to have his hands all over you and his mouth on you like that, how will anyone get the message you’re only for him?

Levi

Someone call the equivalent of 911 for the Devildom, Levi might just be coding 

Actually- don’t even worry about it, he’s just a big puddle on the floor! No worries! 

He. Is. FLUSTERED! Flustered doesn’t even begin to cover it really- 

Levi can't breathe, can’t talk, can’t even wave his hands around frantically to express his lost words

Irl version of a windows restart. 

But as soon as he does reboot, he’s doing his best impression of Oprah into his pillow with how high pitched he’s screaming 

Would love to take a picture with you in that outfit while he’s in his demon form or have you sit on him 

He’ll send you a bunch of emojis in show of his approval but his normal skin tone still isn’t visible under the blush for hours

Satan

Smug as fuck about the audio itself. Definitely silently bragging

Aside from that, Satan is absolutely willing to kneel for you in that outfit 

He’s studied with you on seductive speechcraft but this? He was not ready

Has to take a minute to get his bearings together and to wipe that blush off his face

Satan’s actually pretty speechless for a good 30 minutes 

Not that he’d let you know. He will, however, be telling you how fucking good you looked

Wants to ask if you’ll walk around town with him in his demon form too so everyone can see 

Power couple ™— Take that Lucifer 

Asmo

Azzy is on his knees in an instant- pliant and ready for you to fucking step all over him 

The moment he saw the video he was liking, favoriting, commenting, saving, sharing- everything 

He’d suggested something similar for you to do in the past but you just. 

You went light years beyond what he was expecting the outcome to be and he is here for it 

#1 supporter and immediately is coming up with different- sexier -outfits for you to wear

Will ask, beg if he has to, if you’d come have a photo shoot with him (surprisingly he mainly wants to take photos of just you) 

Admitting to anyone who listens that your beauty is absolutely on par with his 

On his way to your room right this instant- but only after he shares the video with the others 

Beel

Choked. 

You’d think he hadn’t ate in years with how much he was drooling but no

He was just looking at you in that outfit. Which he thought was amazing. 

You are easily the most delicious thing he’s ever laid eyes on (“Gorgeous too…”) and he can’t wait to tell you to your face 

Wonders if you’d have a tail or wings if you really did have a demon form 

Wants to ask Diavolo if there’s magic to make you a real, temporary demon form to find out

Please come to one of his Fangol games dressed like that. He’d promise to win for the rest of the season- and succeed

Overall flustered with his cute blush present, but unlike Satan or Levi, he doesn’t mind showing you 

Belphie

Two words : “holy. fuck.” or alternatively : “fuck. me.”

He is sprinting- yes, sprinting- throughout the fucking house and barreling straight through your door

On his knees faster than Asmo was and is ready at light speed to crawl at your feet and wrap his arms around your leg 

All of his usual curt expressions are thrown out the window without a care in the world

No pure thoughts behind those doe eyes. Not a single one. 

Convinces you to let him take a picture from underneath you while you’re choking him to put as his lock screen because he needed it

Will not be letting you go for the next 24 hours or longer

Fakes innocence like a pro when the others accuse him of hogging you to himself (“they are mine” he snips, even though you have the metaphorical leash right now)

Barbatos 

Mmmmmm, the silent simping is strong in this one

He was simultaneously so fucking ready and so very much not ready for that

Does not know what to do with himself for the next 2-7 business days

Had to put down shit he was cleaning multiple times before he broke something (because you actually broke him)

Straight up doesn’t even ask to show up in your room this time, he just does and immediately beelines to shove his face into your neck 

No, his ears are not red. I believe you might be color blind Mc…

Won’t outright admit how badly you affected him- he just lets out a small ‘you look lovely’ like yeah, Barb? Just lovely? 

Please wear this to the next formal event you attend to watch him lose his cool for split second intervals all night

Diavolo 

If he didn’t have millennia of training on composure, he’d been screaming as loud as Levi 

Instead he settles for slamming his hand on his desk like that meme Asmo showed him 

Concerning his butler a bit, but Diavolo is a proud simp- he ADMITS it

Please come sit on him. Let HIM sit on YOU, for all he cares

You look so good?? What the fuck?? Marry him?? (<<exact texts he sends you)

Tries to find ways to give you a real demon form before getting scolded

Volunteers whole heartedly to let Asmo take pictures of both of you while you’re dressed like that

Ring, ring, Lucifer, he’s coming over ASAP, don’t be alarmed when he shows up at the door

Bonus : 

Solomon

Fuck this man is so down bad for you

I mean, he knew that before but this is just something else, Mc, what have you done to him? 

Knows you’re still human but god does he crave having your pact mark seared into his body (it’s a guilty pleasure of his)

Maybe you’ll just create one and tattoo it on anyway

No second thoughts, teleports to your room immediately to yank you into a kiss

Door is locked- Solomon refuses to let the brothers snatch you away from him rn

Please get on top of him and show him how real your fake fangs and nails feel

Will actually beg without a fight

Simeon

Thinks he should not find this as attractive as he does but the heat flooding through his body disagrees

Gets so hot and flustered, it would be concerning if he wasn’t an actual angel 

Drinks a whole ass cup of water in less than 2 seconds 

Personification of ‘hold my mf halo’ as he makes his way to your place once he calms down a bit

Yes, he’ll take pictures with you with his wings on display and yes, he may or may not be into this (and if you start a little roleplay with him? He’s ascending.)

Don’t tease and make fun of him, he can’t help it! He’s not trying to blush- though he isn’t trying to hide it either

Lies through his teeth without hesitation when he gets questioned about the faint lines on his shoulders 

Heaven’s filthiest angel, on brand

[koolades-world]

Hihihihi, in case ya remember me, im the Pain-sensitive anon, and in case i will request again remember me as BigS, because my requests are as big as my S, but enough about that.

Poor you, so many requests. Drink water, be stronger that those 637181 requests, don't let them kill you!!!

But im here to torture you with another one~

So i have an album with 3814 Asmodeus screenshots(I FKIN LOVE MY BOYFRIEND!!!), and i had an idea "dam, if Asmo became real, it would be very hard to explain why i have 4k pics with him... " So here is request!

Brothers, finding out that MC's new hyperfixation is... them?

Apparently MC is neurodivergent or something like that, and as many neurodivergent ppl, they have a hyperfixation! They just randomly becoming very interested in something specific and collect stuff with it, talk with everyone about it, and remember every single detail about it! Like Levi with TSL.

But one day, brothers realise that MC stopped talking about their past fixation and was less interested with it. They think that "Oh, they probably just found something new!". But one day, they take MC's phone just to find that... They have a giant album in their gallery that is dedicated only to him????

The album has every photo he posted on Devilgram, every photo that he send MC, some unique photos that MC shooted themselves, even some chat screenshots with times when he said something cute to them! They even was photographing thigs that "reminds of him". Like some cheeseburger with "Beel vibes", Blue flower that "Looks like Luci" or gorgeous mannequin that "feels like Asmo".

If its someone like Asmo, he would also notice thta MC started buying their fanclub's merch! Like "Asmo lover #1" shirt or "Lucifer best man!!"cup(Luci is very popular, he probably also has some fanclubs! i hate this guy tho)

I think Levi and Mammon would die from embarrassment. Asmo would die out of happiness and Satan with Luci will try to pretend like thay never saw that. and idk about other ones. :P

I think that would make a cute fluff and a very scary situation if it was real uwu

Thats all

Have a nice dayyyyyyyyyyyy~~~

-BigS aka.AlgophobicDude

hey! great to hear from you again :)

haha thank you! been slowly knocking out requests one at a time and let me tell you it's a lot more fun than it might look haha

i wrote this while wearing a pink cowboy hat. i just wanted to share that

you got it! enjoy!!

Mc with a hyperfixation on the brothers

Lucifer

is this a human thing?

he's happy to indulge you as long as you're not too loud about it out in public

especially please don't share those pictures with anyone, like mammon. he will sell those, especially the ones he only intends for you. please

he's happy you don't hate him, actually. you make this old man very happy haha

Mammon

he would never tell you, but he's also got a photo album dedicated to you

also has a note on his D.D.D. full of all the things he never said to you but hopes to be brave enough to one day to tell you

he doesn't tell you he's got that though, not in a million years

he really loves that you're hyperfixated on him because that just means you care about him just as much as he cares about you

Levi

as expected, he's very flustered

he knows what it's like to have a little blorbo and he would give anything to be able to see them daily in person and live with them

he's over the moon once he realizes this and despite his embarrassment, he pushed through to spend more time with you

he's so dedicated <3

Satan

he's probably the most puzzled

he's always learning new things about humans even when he thought he knew everything

he knows and trusts you so from time to time, he'll take a picture with you in mind that he knows will remind you of him

all in all, he does think it's a little strange but won't stop you since he's never seen you happier

Asmo

like they said, you're literally about to become the number one member of his fanclub!

lucky for you, once he finds your asmo photo album, he's feeding into your hyperfixation

you get lots of exclusive privileges, such as early morning selfies and all his merch for free, including prototypes

he's always ready to pose for a picture for you. every side is his good side!

Beel

he's a little confused but he's happy to make you happy

he listened to you talk about your hyperfixations the most beside levi so he's quick to pick up on this shift

to make you happy, he decides to make a handmade adult bib just for you haha and at first he's a little sad but then he finds it while digging for your snack stash

you've never worn it once because it's hanging in your closet next to your fancy outfits <3

Belphie

you what? is his initial reaction

from the outside, it seems like it doesn't bother him or that he could care less

but, on the inside, he's elated since he thought after how he tricked you, you'd never want to be close to him again

now, you're the very thing that makes you excited to wake up every morning by his side

[beah388love]

HeadCannons 🧡💛

Full Masterlist Lando Masterlist

��� forehead kisses. He loves giving you forehead kisses, he usually will when your in public since he knows your not a huge fan of having an actual kiss in front of a whole crew of cameras-

• Him pulling your..his hat down, whether it be when your talking or he’s about to walk away, before he does he will hit the brim of your hat down so you can’t see anything. You huff as he laughs walking away, it’s the little things that make your relationship the best. 🧡💛

•Him reminding you to drink 24/7 - since he knows how forgetful you are he also keeps alarms on his phone and yours, every morning he goes on your phone and turns them on to make sure since again he knows your forgetful

• he also has developed a sixth sense because of your clumsiness, which he calls his “soulmate connection” - like the times when you are about to fall over and he instantly has his arm there to catch you, his insanely quick reflexes play into it a lot too.

Or when you drop something on the floor and you bend down to grab it and lando holds his hand over the corner of the table or desk to make sure you don’t hit your head. “Got it?” He asks and you nod with a “mhm” and he carries on with his conversation before moving his hand making you grin at his protectiveness.

• I think he’d love going on streams with you, sometimes you say no but that’s only if you have something important to do so other than that you say yes every time. Filly and Ginge absolutely love you and always banter with you.

•he is a total 🍒 and 🍑 guy - if he had to pick between the two options he’d choose death. Especially if its yours 😉

• He also loves when you ask him to help you choose what to wear - whether it’s earrings, a bracelet or a dress? He loves it. And of course he always picks the necklace with his initials on that he got you for your anniversary

• You both agreed you wanted to wait a couple years before getting married, but he did get you a promise ring, he even went to the lengths of looking at your Pinterest boards. It was a silver ring and on the inside it had “Lando Norris” engraved. Along with the one he got for himself that had “Y/n Y/l/n” engraved on the inside too.

•He would always prefer having you at races with him, you could calm him better than anyone else. He knew that if you were there it was going to be a good race and a good day.

• Cuddles. that’s it. I don’t even have to explain.

•He wouldn’t be able to sleep without you, when he was away in a different country he would FaceTime you and you’d talk to him as he fell asleep, and you’d stay on FaceTime all night until your phone died.

Also obviously taking screenshots of him-

•He absolutely adores you and is such a simp, he will pay for everything and make you the happiest passenger princess ever.

•He would kill for your head massages. He loves when you play with his hair when you’re cuddling on the sofa,in bed or even when he’s on stream. Sometimes he has to end the stream because of it. He loves it. 🧡💛

•You also race and He literally is so paranoid. And gets so protective. He makes them check your seatbelt MULTIPLE TIMES. And it’s so tight you can’t breathe! Or he will make his engineer give him updates to make sure your okay literally during the race.

•You’re his biggest fan girl. His fans love you- obviously some don’t and are jealous. But overall they adore you, they love when you post him for example after you guys went on stream and went to bed to cuddle and watch something he fell asleep. And he looked adorable. He was snuggled into you and was snoring, your blanket over him, so you obviously took a picture and posted onto your public instagram with the caption: I CANT. MY BEAUTIFUL BOY

And let’s just say his fans agreed with you, they always agree you’re one of them and is his biggest fan. 🧡💛 he loves that his fans love you.

These head cannons are all my personal opinions so if you don’t agree with them then don’t comment about it 😌

[queen-of-elves]

Fav authors/blogs - literally consider these blogs miracles and masterpiece bringers into my life + fanfic recommendation overall and I was slowly itching to do this for a long time now hehe and there is probably more which I will compile from just my screenshot in phone or reblogs on my blog of other fanfictions

@youvebeenlivingfictional - absolutely dying from their Nathan Bateman tag, kept me alive when I was hyperfixated on that character

@absurdthirst - like... if you know their blog, do I have to say anything? Absolutely feral for every post, every new fic/work has me screaming, love every single piece

@writefightandflightclub - again my Bateman era and again one of the best writing skills on this app (when they started to follow me back I did a lil victory dance lol and had massive freakout lol)

->literally this trio is my holy trinity 👑 when it comes to Oscar/Pedro content and of course there is more I have to mention:

@budcooper - again Oscar Isaac obssesion had send me their way and since then I am a big fan

@brandyllyn - the Nathan Bateman fanfic? kept me fed for weeks and I am still returning gal for it, plus they also have works for Richard from The letter room like hello??? take my money please. I could write forever about my favorite authors for Oscar and Pedro :)))

@mypoisonedvine - got to them thanks to my fleeing (lets be honest its gonna return as any other hyperfixation) obssesion with Paul Dano and just had to stay because the writing style is just cheff's kiss

@supernovafeather - the FO!poe? The duke leto fics? Perfection 🥰 again sometimes I just search these tag on their profile just to spend the following day rereading all of it ❤

@starlessea - one of the blogs that kept me well fed in my twd fandom comback and I am so grateful to them 💖 (might actually do another comeback since twd ended etc.) Also one of the few blogs that made me consider writing on my own.

@mylifeisactuallyamess - again PERFECTLY fed when I was in my Hux era -> you want little angst with your fics like me? go check them out. Absolutely love their series and I am going to reread them soon.

Accidents -alvfr -> Aaron Hotchner my beloved and excellent writing

And When I am Formulated, Sprawling on a Pin - beewolf - Chishiya - Just like w youvebeenlivingfictional and writefightandflightclub I love works with references etc and this one w literature refs is just perfect

@upsidedownwithsteve got into my Steve Harrington lover boy era recently (and again) and their works? Chef's kiss, absolutely delicious

A special friend - Fred Weasley x reader - @luveline - You completely bewitched me with the sentence: "Doesn’t she realise I’m a simple, pathetic man who wants to have her simple, pathetic babies?” I had to recently reread it again and I will probably have to do it once again just for this sentence, I am not even talking about how this is an absolute masterpiece went it comes to writing for reader w anxiety etc. perfect depiction of everything

*Like seriously if I dont read these works or newly posted works of these authors assume I am dead

[nightttdreamers]

Night Shift | Craig x Kenny

AAA chapter two is heeeere its mostly silly fun before we actually start the fake dating part hehe pls enjoy (and check it out on ao3 for better formatting pls)

AO3 Link | 4k words | Chapter 2/?

Craig and Kenny strike a deal.

Craig has never been a morning person, but recently, it feels like every force in the world is trying to keep him in bed.

There’s the brief, near blissful moment when he’s just woken up. He can barely hear his alarm, the sleep not quite shaken off yet, unaware of what the day brings. Then, inevitably, his first thought washes over him; Tweek dumped you.

Just knowing that this is going to weigh on him all day is exhausting to think about. He doesn’t waste time wondering what he did wrong or how to best avoid the other anymore. The exhaustion comes from knowing that Tweek’s absence is just something he has to deal with now, every damn day.

Before, the habit of trying to beat his boyfriend to the first ‘good morning’ text motivated him to get up. But lately, he always spends a few minutes letting his alarm ring out, trying to delay his day for as long as possible. But, then his phone begins to buzz to life, and he knows he can’t ignore the real world any more.

On this particular morning, the urge to pull the covers over his head is particularly strong. Not only did he work late last night, but the fact that he looked like an idiot in front of Kenny is also hanging over his head. Craig groans, recalling their bizarre interaction.

“You wanna be my boyfriend?” He had asked.

Kenny looked bewildered, a mixture of surprise and concern on his face. But, before Craig could even go back on his question, Kenny replied, “Like, for money?”

Unable to bear the look on the other’s face, Craig turned away, pulling out a pack of Kenny’s usual cigarettes. “No, that would be stupid,” he stammered out. “I’m being stupid, fuck. Here, I can-” He took the magazine that Kenny had been holding and scanned it along with the Camels. Finally, he looked back up at the blonde. “Anything else?”

Kenny’s brows knit together as he looked at Craig. His lips were pursed together, shifting around his face like he was trying to talk without opening his mouth. “No,” he said after some pause, drawing out the word. “That’s it.” Kenny slid a few bills across the counter, not looking away from Craig as he took his items.

Craig thought that if tried to speak again, he would say something even worse than what he already had, so he simply nodded.

Kenny headed towards the door, shooting Craig an awkward glance back just before he left. “Take care of yourself, man.”

Craig rolled over onto his stomach, pressing his face deep into the pillow in an effort to stop his brain from playing the memory over and over again. When that didn’t work, he turned his head to the side, grabbing his phone from the nightstand and finally turning off his alarm.

He squints as the screen lights up, serving as the only light source in his room. There are two notifications from Clyde, one sent around 2AM linking a YouTube video called “BAD DAY Better Watch This 😂 1 Hour Best Funny & Fails” and another sent 20 minutes ago, asking “Tolkien had to make up a test please pLEASE can u drive me today PLEASE?????”

Craig gives the message a thumbs down and ignores the typing bubble that immediately appears (he’ll end up driving Clyde, of course, he just wants to fuck with him first). His next notification is a Snapchat message from “kmck69,” a username he doesn’t recognize until he opens the message.

kmck69: were u being serious b4

kmck69: it is a rlly stupid idea 

kmck69: but also im down if ur down

Craig reads the messages, then reads them again just to make sure he’s not hallucinating. As an added measure, he checks the user’s last story and, sure enough, it’s a selfie of Kenny holding a beer, Cartman lurking in the background, with the caption “5 screenshots and i piss in cartmans drink.”

Once Kenny had left last night, Craig had spent the last hour of his shift overthinking every detail of their interaction. He didn’t even know where his bizarre idea had come from, it had just slipped from his mouth before it was fully-formed. Hearing that Tweek was out hanging around with some goth kid infuriated him beyond words or logic. The only coherent thought Craig could form about it was that something had to change. He didn’t want to keep rotting in his bed, head swimming with thoughts about his ex. He just wanted to do something.

Asking Kenny to pretend to be his boyfriend was just the first idea that came to mind.

He hadn’t expected the other to even justify him with a response beyond their uncomfortable conversation. But, apparently, Kenny was mulling it over until nearly 4 in the morning when he texted, which is far more thought than Craig put into it.

It’s a stupid idea. He knows it is, they both know it is. But, it’s something.

spacemancraig: Yeah I’m down

He stares at his screen for a moment, quickly feeling the prickle of anxiety in his chest. It’s useless to sit and wait for a response, so he puts his phone down and pulls himself out of bed. The second he actually rises from his mattress, his phone buzzes to life, and Craig almost drops the device in how quickly he grabs it.

(Clyde) Literally I’m already ready I won’t hold you up I’ll even buy you starbucks or whatever gay shit you like

(Clyde) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

(Clyde) I’m sorry for calling you gay and starbucks gay bro PLEASE don’t make me walk

He sighs, typing out a quick response before he puts the phone down for real.

(Craig) Fine

—-----

Kenny stumbles into Chemistry three minutes after the bell, handing their teacher a crumbled-up excuse note before shuffling to his seat. It’s not uncommon for him to be late, and normally Craig would pay it no mind. However, normally he’s not anxiously waiting for a Snapchat from the other. 

Craig can’t take his eyes off him, his notes trailing off as he drowns out the voice of their teacher. He’s not sure whether Kenny’s changed his mind and is brushing him off, or genuinely just oblivious of the holes Craig is staring into the back of his head. The blonde just rummages through his bag and pulls out a few sheets of paper, not even sparing Craig a glance back. 

Somehow, in every class he finds himself staring at the back of a blonde’s head. He wonders if he might be the problem.

At first, Kenny just chews on his eraser and passes notes to Kyle sitting beside him. But, after a few minutes of this, he turns and locks eyes with Craig. Before Craig can even try to communicate something quietly across the row separating them, Kenny turns away again, and Craig wants to throw his textbook at the other’s head. Before he can, though, he feels his phone buzz to life in his pocket.

kmck69: we have 2 talk abt it obv

kmck69: do u have work 2nite

Craig rolls his eyes as he reads the messages, unsure as to why Kenny needs to use the least amount of characters possible when he texts.

spacemancraig: No

kmck69: cool well i do

kmck69: im at the bijou from 4 to 12

kmck69: if u want free popcorn tho u can come after 10

kmck69: thats when concession closes so its kinda old but tbh still good

spacemancraig: Yeah I think I’ll pass on the stale popcorn

spacemancraig: But I’ll come by

kmck69: ur loss

kmck69: word tho

kmck69: also cute username lmao

Craig’s face scrunches up as he reads the text, glancing up to look at Kenny. The blonde looks back at him, flashing a smile, and Craig just flips him off in response.

kmck69: ooh rawr ur so scary and mean

kmck69: can u leave me alone im trying 2 learn >:(

He wants to retort that Kenny was the one who started it, but typing that feels incredibly childish. Instead, Craig rolls his eyes and tucks his phone away, looking back up at the lesson.

—------

There are a lot of points today when Craig’s wondered when his life took a wrong turn. Losing sleep over a conversation with someone he has never really given a shit about, feeling like shit the entire morning waiting on a message from the aforementioned someone, and now, he’s at South Park’s lamest and only movie theater at 10PM on a Thursday. 

Maybe it wasn’t just a wrong turn, maybe it’s an eighteen-year downward spiral and he’s just getting closer to rock bottom.

The Bijou is, of course, dead. Craig only goes when they randomly decide to screen something from the Criterion Collection. He and his friends used to hang around the place more often, but then Tolkien got a home theater and every movie started being available to stream, and they didn’t have to secretly spike their slushies in the Black household. Now, the only people that frequent The Bijou are the elderly and his 15 year old sister, for some reason.

He decided to wait until 10PM to go. Not because Kenny made the stale popcorn sound appetizing, but he figured the later he went, the less likely he was to run into someone he knew. He parks his car a few blocks down the street and walks to the theater, hands tucked in the pocket of his hoodie. The marquee has been defaced, as per usual, and just reads “PENIS” followed by the scrambled extra letters from whatever movie title it once said. How original.

The ticket booth is empty, and when he steps inside, the theater is just as deserted as he expected it to be. Craig isn’t exactly sure of his next move as he lingers by the entrance, looking around. Just walking into the theater without a ticket to look for Kenny feels wrong, but so does just standing around awkwardly. Before he can choose, though, someone speaks behind him.

“I’m sorry, sir. We’re not selling any more tickets to our last screening- Oh, Craig?” Chirps a voice from the concession stand. Craig turns, coming face-to-face with Butters. The other boy smiles at him, far too brightly considering the two of them are not friends. The most they’ve interacted in all of high school is the rare occasion that Craig visits the Bijou, in which he affords Butters a small head nod as a greeting if they meet eyes. 

“Hey, Butters,” Craig says. “Is Kenny around?”

Almost comically, Butters cocks his head to the side. “Kenny? I didn’t know you two were friends!”

An abrupt silence comes between them, and Craig just waits for Butters to tell him where his coworker is. However, the blue-eyed boy just looks at him with a quizzical expression on his face, and Craig realizes he’s waiting for a confirmation.

“Uh, sure,” Craig mumbles after a moment. “Friends. Friendly, I guess. So, where is he?”

Butters beams at his answer, starting to wipe the countertop he’s standing behind down as he responds. “That’s so nice. He needs friends who won’t get him into trouble, you know? And he was just talking about you the other day.”

“He was?” Craig asks, but before Butters can elaborate, the two are interrupted.

“Craig!” Shouts Kenny from across the theater. Clad in a button-down, black skinny jeans, a red vest and matching bow-tie, he looks starkly different than he did this morning. The almost formal outfit doesn’t look quite right on him, and Craig realizes he’s never seen Kenny in something that wasn’t two sizes too large. When the blonde arrives at the concession stand, he’s grinning, looking at Craig so excitedly that the dark-haired boy has to turn his face away.

“It’s me, don’t cream your jeans,” Craig says, earning a little snicker from Butters. 

“I’ll sure as hell try,” Kenny replies, not sounding nearly as sarcastic as Craig. “I was starting to think you were bailing. It’s late, man.” As he speaks, he lifts himself onto the concession counter and sits, dangling his legs.

Butters frowns, putting his hands on his hips (Craig didn’t know that people did that in real life, but it suits Butters’ cartoonish mannerisms). “Aw, Kenny. I was just wiping that down.”

Kenny rolls his eyes, swinging his legs around to the other side of the counter and hopping off. “Happy?” He asks his coworker, who lets out a little puff of air in response and returns to his cleaning. Kenny shoots Craig a funny look, and Craig feels like he’s missing something. “As you can see, Butters and I take a lot of pride in this establishment.”

“That sounds awfully insincere, Kenny,” Butters grumbles, mostly to himself. “I do take pride in this establishment.”

It’s pretty weird to watch Kenny and Butters interact like this. They’re both oddballs in their social circles, especially Butters, and he can’t help but feel a bit out-of-place talking to them, especially outside of school. Craig absent-mindedly slides his phone from his pocket, checking the screen, just out of habit.

“Got somewhere to be?” Kenny asks, and when Craig looks up, the other is staring right at him, of course. He’s holding one of the soft drink cups, filled to the brim with popcorn.

Craig tucks his phone away. “You were serious about the stale popcorn?”

“It’s just gonna get thrown out,” Kenny says, popping a few kernels in his mouth. “Did you want some?”

Craig narrows his eyes in suspicion, responding with an unsure hum. One time, in the 5th grade, he saw Kenny pick up an earthworm from the sidewalk and swallow it whole. He did it, of course, for five bucks from Clyde, but Craig still doesn’t trust his taste.

Kenny rolls his eyes, opening up the machine to fill another cup. “Don’t be a princess. It’s still good. Right, Butters?” Kenny asks as he slides past his coworker, crossing to Craig’s side of the counter. 

“Oh, I don’t like to eat the popcorn much,” Butters replies, attending to the machine once Kenny’s done with it. “I gotta smell it all day, then clean the machine, scrape all the burnt pieces. I used to think movie theater popcorn was one of the yummiest smells, but now it doesn’t really get my tummy rumbling.”

Talking to Butters is weird, Craig thinks. He’s not sure if he’s ever heard anyone else use the phrase ‘tummy rumbling’ in his life. He glances at Kenny, who seems entirely unphased by the other’s weird expressions. 

“Yeah, okay,” Kenny says with a small shrug. He hands one of the popcorn cups to Craig, who takes it reluctantly. “I don’t know why I asked him.”

“Not that this isn’t thrilling,” Craig says, turning fully to Kenny. Butters is pretty engaged with his cleaning, but Craig doesn’t need him hearing any part of this conversation, so he speaks low. “Can we talk now?”

Kenny lets out an amused puff of air. “Butters, I’m gonna go do theater checks” he says, not taking his eyes away from Craig. “Craig’s coming with me.”

“You better not just be sneakin’ him into the movie for free, Kenny,” Butters grumbles, but his coworker is already walking away, waving a hand dismissively. Craig spares Butters an awkward glance before following behind Kenny.

“You do that often?” Craig asks.

“What? Sneak people in?” Kenny replies. He shoots a look back at Butters, making sure he isn’t listening before he continues. “Not all the time. I’m not really into losing this job.”

Right, Craig thinks, Kenny actually needs this job. The thought makes him a bit uncomfortable, that Kenny has to put in the hours at a shitty movie theater to pay for things he actually needs. Meanwhile, Craig works so he can get out of the house and have some spending money.

Kenny glances behind them, then slides a vape out of his pocket and hits it. He turns his head to the side, courteous enough not to blow smoke right at Craig, though not enough to pick a less obnoxious flavor.

“Sorry,” Kenny says, noticing how Craig wrinkles his nose at the scent. “Butters doesn’t like it either, probably because it’d get us in trouble.”

“So you don’t care enough about this job to not vape?” Craig asks.

This time, Kenny blows the cloud right in his face. “Be nice to me, Tucker. I let your sister sneak in here all the time.”

Craig pauses, taking a second to process what Kenny just said. “You what?”

Kenny stops too, poking his head into the closest screening room as he speaks. “Yeah, she comes by a lot. Here, this one’s empty,” he steps into the theater, holding the door open so Craig can follow. It’s a bit odd-looking inside. It’s not often he sees empty theaters with the lights on, especially not clean ones. Kenny takes a seat in a nearby row, throwing his legs over the chairs as he munches on his popcorn. “Don’t worry, no one’s gonna hear us. I cleaned this one an hour ago, and I’ve only had to kick out people who stayed after a movie like, three times, so we’re good.”

Craig takes a seat a few spots away from Kenny, giving the other room to sprawl out. “Why did they stay?”

“Sometimes they just fall asleep. One time there was a couple fucking, though. That was pretty sweet. In that row over there,” Kenny points behind him, a smirk on his face.

Craig blinks and wonders what ever happened to the Kenny he went to elementary school with, the one who rarely spoke except for the occasional dirty joke. Focus, Craig.

“Uh, so about last night,” Craig begins, straightening up a bit in his seat. Kenny mirrors him, showing that he’s listening. “I was just talking without thinking. It is a really fucking dumb idea.”

“But you showed up to talk about it,” Kenny notes.

Craig sighs. “Yeah, I did. Because I’m really fucking dumb. And I’m sick of the sympathy from my dumb friends. And you said you’d be down.” Kenny just looks at him, and Craig finds himself talking just to avoid the awkward silence. “If you’re not anymore though, that’s fine. There’s no pressure or anything.”

“I’m still down,” Kenny says with a small nod. “As long as I’m paid for my time. God, I sound like a hooker.”

“You’re not a hooker,” Craig adds a bit too quickly. “We don’t need to actually do anything, I don’t think.”

“So what do I have to do?”

Craig doesn’t answer for a moment. Apparently, this tells Kenny all he needs to know.

“Oh, so you really didn’t think this through, huh?” Kenny makes an odd clicking sound with his tongue, shaking his head. Craig thinks he’s trying to be funny, but it’s not helping how embarrassing the conversation feels. “Okay, Craig. If you want Tweak to take you back, what do you think would really get him all pissed off and hot and jealous?”

“Hang on-” Craig sits up a bit, raising a hand as Kenny speaks. “I’m not trying to get him back.”

“You’re not?”

Craig opened his mouth, but words couldn’t quite seem to come out. Was he trying to get Tweek back? There were plenty of couples in South Park that broke up only to come back together. In fact, he’d stop getting hopeful when Bebe and Clyde would split, as it was inevitable they’d be sucking face again within a week. But, he’d never thought about that possibility for him and Tweek. They didn’t break up because of a fight or mistake or something stupid. Honestly, Craig still couldn’t quite pin why they had broken up. All he knew is that Tweek didn’t want to be with him anymore. The thought of trying to get his ex to change his mind and take him back hadn’t even occurred to him, and right now, it just sounded pathetic.

“Jeez, I didn’t know that would be such a tough question,” Kenny muses, bringing Craig out of his thoughts. “It’s fine if you want him back, man. I don’t judge.”

“I don’t” Craig says, maybe a bit too assertively as it makes Kenny lean a bit further away from him. “He doesn’t want to be together, whatever. I’m not gonna try to trick him into getting back with me. I just want people to know I’m cool about it.”

Kenny makes a little high-pitched hum, his face scrunching up. He takes another hit of his vape, looking thoughtful as he does so (as thoughtful as someone hitting a neon green cylinder can). “Okay,” he says, blowing out smoke. “We’ll make everyone think we fucked.”

“What the fuck- Kenny,” Craig stammers out, shaking his head as he speaks. “How would we even, who would fall for that? What’s that even gonna do?”

Kenny leans forward again, resting his arms on the arm of the chair and once again being too close to Craig’s personal space. “No, Craig, listen. This is one of my better ideas. If you immediately start dating some dude, everyone’s gonna think it’s a rebound and people know I’m not really the dating type. It’ll be weird, someone’s gonna see through it because I’m not not gonna hook up with someone else. But- if people think we just fucked, they’ll be like, ‘Wow Craig moved on and he doesn’t give a fuck and he’s so cool,’ which is your goal, right?”

Craig stares at Kenny, wide eyed, and Kenny stares right back. It’s impossible to focus on what the blonde is saying with that eager look in his eyes, like some kind of dog waiting for a treat. However, when Craig actually does start to process the idea, he realizes Kenny’s making some good points. Kenny raises his brows, still waiting for a reply. Craig lets out a sigh, looking up at the theater ceiling. “Fuck. That’s- Yeah, that’s a good plan.”

“I know!” Kenny starts drumming his fingers along the side of the seat, and Craig can tell he’s beaming without even looking at him. “I want sixty-five.”

Now, Craig looks back down at Kenny, who is making a face like that wasn’t a ridiculous thing to say. “Bucks? You want sixty-five dollars?”

“Cash,” Kenny adds. The two just stare at each other for a moment because every time Craig looks at Kenny, apparently Kenny’s already looking at him. 

“I’ll give you forty,” Craig offers, hoping his tone sounds firm enough to stop any further negotiation.”

“Deal,” Kenny finally leans back in his seat and Craig feels like he can actually breathe again. If they’re gonna do this, he needs to talk with Kenny about personal space. And maybe that god awful vape flavor too. Shit, they’re actually doing it. 

Craig nods before his brain fully catches up, like he’s convincing himself this is real life. “Okay, yeah. Deal. Wow.”

Kenny glances over at him. “You good? You can’t back out now. We said deal.”

Craig is still nodding, rubbing his palms on his thighs. “We’re good. I just didn’t really think you’d say yes. I don’t, uh, have much of a plan.”

Kenny puts his hand on Craig’s shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, dude. ‘Cause I already have a plan.”

“My head’s not-” he starts, then lets out a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What’s the plan?”

Kenny stands, looking back down at Craig with a grin. “If there’s one thing I know, it’s how to get people talking about my sex life. And lucky for you, I have just the party to get this rumor started.” Kenny rubs his hand on a chair, then sticks it out for Craig. “You trust me, dude?”

Looking up at the blonde, the sheer dumb confidence on his face, his stupid uniform bowtie, there’s no way Craig should feel at ease. But, he has forty bucks and his reputation on the line, and Kenny might just be the best shot he has at escaping his current hellhole situation. Craig stands, gripping Kenny’s hand.

“Fuck it,” he says. “I trust you, let’s do this.”

[queenoffishingandcookies]

Battler / Valor’s Name

Considering Battler’s name is meant to be understood as a person who fights, a fighter, I wanted his name as a girl - whether he is transgender or had been outright genderbent - to reflect the same or similar meaning.

Because yes, I’m one of the people who occasionally choose to change a character’s name.

(Feel free to punch me, it’s habit.)

Taken straight from my phone notes, and pieced together from a lot of googling, I ended up with this:

(I’d copy and paste it, but tumblr wont let me, so you get a screenshot, sorry!)

Wish I could tell you I put a lot of thought into this, but I looked at the meaning of Battler (which is, in fact, an actual word) and began thinking of synonyms to a person who fights, or things that mean something similar.

Considering Ushiromiya Family Typical Behavior, in a world where Battler is physically born with female parts, it’s a half-and-half to me on whether she would be named Battler, like in close-to-canon AU’s where she is assumed male because that’s what her physical body says (at least at that time).

I don’t think it would be considered outright to be masculine, since it’s a weird name in the first place, I don’t think people would care? But also. It’s not a lady’s name???

And woman in the Ushiromiya Family have…very specific roles, to say the least, and those born into the family probably have very certain expectations weighing on their shoulders (because Kinzo is an asshole, but I digress-)

I have conflicting feels on it, don’t really know how to explain them, and I’ll…leave it at that.

It was a toss up between Valor or Aster or Asteria. Valor, because pronounced in Japanese it would start with the same ‘Ba’ sound. Valor generally means courage/bravery, especially in battle. Aster/Asteria because that flower, in hanakotoba, means remembrance/memory (and please, correct me if I’m wrong).

Also, I really like the flower.

Once I decided on the name itself, it was…actually just a googling spree on which kanji made the necessary sound. I took the first syllable from the canonical spelling of Battler’s name.

Literally scrolling through lists of kanji for a kanji that had the ‘ro’ sound and appropriate meaning - the jitenon website and wikitionary are where exactly I got them from, so it might not be accurate.

The kanji for yuu means, translated to english, courage. Which is often used to spell the name Yuki, which generally means something similar to Valor. It’s also similar enough to the ru sound, so I decided why not? Almost like an inside joke, though that probably wouldn’t actually work in real life?

Put into Google translate (always the best, well-reputable, never makes an error source), it means:

(Those are alternate readings of the kanji, and let me tell you, that was hell to figure out).

I had so many tabs opened in this process, so much scrolling down. I honestly wish I’d taken note, because it was as interesting as it was frustrating to look at the kanji and how many different meanings they had…

Also, if you’re born into the Ushiromiya family, you kind of have to have some level of bravery or courage, if not cutting cunning or an unfaltering poker face, to survive.

So yeah.

Battler = Valor.

Also, I really like the idea of a transgender Battler coming out, at some point, and choosing her new name after discarding the old, and keeping to the original meaning because - well, her mom gave it to her. The heart of its meaning was…kind of good, she wasn’t a wimp, she knew how to fight and how to fight well. Even if the wacky kanji is from her Ushiromiya side.

(Also considering social expectations of women at the time to be feminine, maybe that would constitute some sort of pressure on trying to select the right name for a young lady? To not be known as aggressive, but strong? To be called a fighter could have different connotations between a girl and boy, and that might be a discussion for another time and way over my head).

Please don’t flame me, if anyone takes offense, please have mercy and tell me if and how I am offensive.

Also, Valor is the only name I’ve looked at in-depth in how it might change for a genderbent or transgender umineko character. Except for maybe George’s.

and let me tell you. Eva, in entirely Genderbent worlds, as a boy. Having a daughter. His only child is a daughter. Wanting to be family heir - and not being heir for a variety of reasons, one of which being to spite the family elders who were still alive when he was born…George’s name would either be Georgia, Georgiana, or…George.

Because Evan wanted a boy, but got a girl, and even if she’s a girl, he’ll make sure she’ll be brought up with as fine an education as a boy and find a wealthy spouse- (it’s…kind of similar to how Jessica in canon has so much pressure on her shoulders from Natsuhi, to be a reputable heiress of the family in her own right even as a girl-).

There’s So Much There to look at, to say the least, and this post will get a lot longer if I wrote it out here.

(I did have an entire sheet of the others names and the kanji that they had but I LOST IT, and now I only have the western names for them set in stone. I’m still upset about that.)

[marzipanparty]

hewwwooo i posted all these on twitter first but yea i made this bc robo sweats rly hard when they get pokemon related asks about their characters and i’m a mf who loves pokemon way too much not to have pokemon headcanons about said characters 👍👍 i’ll put my headcanons in the read more!

Quest & Lucario- there really wasn’t a better pick in my mind for our emotionally intelligent, tough, blue-coded, dog-loving love interest than a blue dog that can shatter boulders with its fists of steel and read the auras of living beings. And bc lucario can read its trainer’s emotions i think it’d be a good therapy dog for quest! I personally like think that quest would’ve found lucario as a little rilou like how he finds the puppy in the game’s good end extra for him.

NakedToaster & Totodile- so i picked shiny totodile bc it’s green little reptile just like a certain cryptid green lizard mascot in bloomic LOL… but i also oddly i think they’d have a cute dynamic together?? Chill toaster would take great care of their excitable little chompy gremlin 🥺 and let them play games on their phone like in this pkemon movie screenshot 😭

BUT! I also want to mention another headcanon that before Toaster had totodile, he had a Porygon-Z that disappeared and learned how to talk. This talking porygon-z being Bloombot 👍

xyx & Alolan Meowth- obviously i had to pick a cat pokemon as a stand in for xyx’s actual cat. I chose alolan meowth specifically bc the pokedex mentions these meowths being especially cunning and intelligent, and i’d like to think these two would affectionately try to pull pranks and one-up each other constantly. But they love each first and foremost!! And if those two smarmy assholes ever decide to team up pull a prank on someone else, god save that poor soul LMAO

Nightowl & Sylveon- i’d like to think nightowl had an eevee since childhood! Eevee also evolves into sylveon with high friendship/affection and i think nightowl would certainly be able to do that LOL although having such a girly looking pokemon would probably rly piss his mom off and would probably threaten to take it away from him 😢 but i think he would manage to keep it safe and bring it to college with him. The pokedex also mentions that sylveon’s ribbon feelers emit a calming aura and so it would be a rly great emotional support pokemon for poor nightowl 💖🥺

June & Politoed- cute frog girl gets cute frog pokemon EASY. but yea there are a few frog-like pokemon to choose from but i ultimately choose politoed bc the simple water typing and cute design felt the best for June 👍 i did briefly consider Bellibolt but i felt the electric sub-typing didn’t suit her 🤔 i’d definitely pick it if i was choosing full teams than one partner tho

Two2 & Yamper- i vaguely remember it being mentioned that Two has a little dog like in their pfp! And pokemon has a lot of dog pokemon to choose from 😅 but i ultimately picked yamper bc i like the idea of anxious and skittish Two with a very friendly and zippy little dog! Yamper never fails to cheer up Two 🥹 also i personally think the electric typing suits Two as well

BigLady & Tsareena- two boss queens being boss queens together 👏👑 i think Lady would have gotten tsareena as a little bounsweet not thinking too much about it and be pleasantly surprised as it evolved! Tsareena has a grass/fighting typing and stomps the shit out of things with its powerful legs, so i think it suits our beautiful and strong Lady 💖💪

Salocin & Nidoking- i personally think Salo and his late wife would be one of those double battle couples with their matching Nidoking and Nidoqueen respectively! After his wife passes tho he’d keep nidoqueen since it’s also his nidoking’s partner 🥺 i also think nidoking’s ground typing fits salo pretty nicely. Another headcanon i have is that his new partner Mara would have a cute normal type pokemon like a minccino!

Onionthief & Venusaur- i originally was going to have a just a bulbasaur as onion’s partner bc it’s more onion-shaped, but i ultimately decided that onion would be the type to fully evolve his pokemon. He’d definitely have his venusaur since it was a wee little bulbasaur tho, they are lifelong partners! Venusaur would definitely help take care of onion’s siblings, and play with them by letting them climb all over it and picking them up with its vine whip 😭

[wtfuckevenknows]

One Hundred Ways to say “I love you,” #18 for Tarlos please!

Hello friends, welcome back, I finally managed to finish the first One Hundred Ways to Say ‘I Love You’ prompt and I present to you another screenshot of @noxsoulmate and my conversation about the length of this prompt.........

This one now sits at 1.6k and I don't think a single one of these will stay between 100-200 words so I'm officially giving up on that notion, we all know I'm way to fucking wordy!!!

Thanks @paperstorm for the quick *cough* beta, because as always it takes a goodamn village! ❤️😘 (writing in a language that is not your first language is fucking stupid)

You can now also read it on ao3 here.

18 “Here, drink this. You’ll feel better.”

TK was curled up on their couch at the loft, wrapped up in his favorite blanket, watching Brooklyn 99, a show that was fun and lighthearted and reminded him a bit of home and he would never admit this to Carlos but maybe he did have a bit of a thing for cops in general, not just his husband.

Carlos absolutely judged TK for liking it and wouldn’t be caught dead watching, so TK reserved watching the show for nights he spent alone when Carlos was on shift or meeting up with some of his friends. 

There was a bottle of mineral water on the table, as well as a couple of empty sushi containers.

Carlos had been out celebrating passing the detective exam with some of his colleagues, soon to be ex-colleagues, for a couple of hours when TK’s phone rang. 

It was Lexi, who asked him to come pick up his drunk husband. In the background he could hear Carlos yelling something he couldn't quite make out and it made him smile. 

Carlos didn't get drunk very often, only sometimes when they went out partying with the whole gang, which admittedly didn't happen as often as it used to these days. Carlos was a happy and loud drunk, letting go of some of his inhibitions when under the influence. 

After promising Lexi he'd be there soon and hanging up the phone, he threw on a hoodie and a pair of comfortable sneakers and made his way to the bar by foot. Living downtown definitely had its perks and he hoped walking home in the fresh, clear night air would help Carlos sober up a bit. If he was too drunk, they could always take an uber back to the loft. 

Entering the bar he could hear Carlos laughing loudly over all the other noise. With a grin on his face, he made his way to where he could see the police officers occupying a booth. 

Carlos looked like he was having fun. His hair wasn't fully gelled down anymore, the curls coming out to play. There was a flush high on his cheeks and his eyes were a bit glazed over but still sparkly. He had rolled up the sleeves of his long sleeved denim shirt, the top two buttons undone, giving TK a peek of his white undershirt. He was smiling brightly, while intently listening to something one of his colleagues was saying.

Shortly before he reached them Carlos spotted him, his face going soft and he very loudly exclaimed, “TK, baby, you're here!”

TK couldn't help but chuckle, replying “Yes, Carlos, I’m here to take you home.” 

Carlos looked up at him in confusion, rapidly blinking a couple of times before looking between him and his colleagues like he was watching a tennis match. Then he shrugged his shoulders, his gaze finally settling back on TK, before breaking out into a dopey grin. 

“I love going home with you. I love our home and I love you. You’re the best husband!” 

Lexi was openly laughing at Carlos now, gently pushing him out of the booth and into TK’s waiting arms. “Go home Reyes, be disgustingly in love with your husband behind closed doors.”

“It’s Strand-Reyes,” Carlos corrected his partner, looking every bit as offended as he sounded. 

Lexi raised her arms in surrender. “Sorry.” 

She didn't look very sorry to TK, but Carlos’ focus had already shifted back to him as he was now pulling TK closer to him with a hand that had somehow found its way to his ass. 

Carlos whisper yelled, “I can't wait to get home and do very naughty things to you,” into TK’s ear and TK quickly steered Carlos away from his colleagues, yelling “Bye” over his shoulder as he started moving them towards the exit. 

Carlos was stumbling a bit for the first couple of steps, but soon found his footing with an arm thrown across TK’s shoulders to help him balance. 

Once they made it outside Carlos sucked in a deep breath, the cold night air hitting him, and he pressed himself even closer to his husband, seeking his warmth. 

TK somehow managed to roll down the sleeves of Carlos' shirt, despite Carlos making it very difficult by not letting go of him during this endeavor. Carlos gave his cheek a sloppy wet kiss in thanks, making TK chuckle again, before he pulled his husband along in the direction of their home.

Carlos was making it hard to walk, clinging to TK like the affectionate drunk that he was, making TK debate calling that uber for a second before deciding they weren't in a hurry and could walk home at snail's pace. 

Every couple of steps Carlos would bestow kisses upon his husband, or try to feel TK up in the middle of the sidewalk. TK didn't really mind, he had a little bit of an exhibitionist streak in him after all, he was rather amused at his husbands antics, who wouldn't normally be so bold in public.

By the time they made it into the elevator of their building, TK’s plan had worked and Carlos had sobered up a bit. Enough so that he wasn't leaning against him as heavily as before.

Once TK pressed the button to their floor, his back hit the wall of the elevator and it took his mind a second to catch up to the fact that Carlos had moved them and pressed him up against the mirror. He was also slotting a leg in between TK’s thighs, rutting against him rather urgently while capturing TK’s lips in a fiery kiss. 

Apparently Carlos wasn't just affectionate but also horny tonight. Not that TK thought he could get it up right now, he hadn't sobered up that much.

He returned the kiss with just as much passion, only pulling back when the elevator dinged with their arrival. 

TK pushed Carlos back, his husband letting out a needy whimper that TK tried to soothe by saying “Come on, let’s get you into the loft, the bed is much more comfortable than the elevator.” Carlos didn't need to know that he meant for sleeping and not any sexy times. 

With some difficulties due to Carlos hanging off of him, TK finally managed to unlock the door and deposited Carlos on the bed, telling him to not fall asleep yet, before making his way into the kitchen to grab him a glass of water and some tylenol. 

By the time TK made his way back into their bedroom, he could hear Carlos snoring softly. He had to laugh. So much for doing naughty things to me, TK thought to himself, having predicted this exact outcome. 

Shaking his head while gazing fondly at his husband, he carefully removed Carlos' shoes and clothes. Once he was down to only his boxer briefs, he hauled Carlos up onto his pillow and tried to wake him up so he wouldn't have a massive hangover tomorrow but to no avail. 

TK pressed a gentle kiss to Carlos' curls before tucking him in, then he got ready for bed himself, joining Carlos in bed soon after. 

In the early hours of the next morning TK woke up to Carlos groaning in his sleep. This time he was able to wake him up long enough for him to swallow the tylenol and chase it with some water, before he promptly fell asleep again. Thankfully his stomach seemed to hold strong for now. 

When TK woke up later to sunlight, Carlos was still fast asleep beside him. His husband was usually the first to wake, but it seemed the alcohol made him sleep in for once. 

Him still feeling the effects of the alcohol would probably also mean that Carlos would wake up with one hell of a hangover, even though he finally took the tylenol earlier, so TK racked his brain to remember some of the hangover cures his friends had mentioned. 

TK got up and showered, before preparing breakfast and it was nearly noon by the time he could hear a pitiful “TK” being called from their bedroom.   

Carlos looked a little worse for wear but he wasn't running off to the bathroom so TK sent a silent thanks up toward the heavens for small miracles. 

“Hey baby.” TK spoke softly as to not aggravate the headache Carlos probably had, entering their bedroom with a glass in his hands. 

He sat down on the edge of the bed, right next to Carlos, gently running his fingers through Carlos’ curls in a soothing motion. 

“Sit up for a second, babe,” TK said and once Carlos sluggishly complied he pressed the glass into Carlos hands. “Here, drink this. You’ll feel better.”

Carlos did as he was told without second thought, his paramedic husband surely knew what he was talking about. He took a big sip before spewing it back out, sputtering “Ew, TK! What the fuck is that?!” 

“Pickle juice. You like pickles, you should drink up. It really helps with a hangover, I remember one of my friends from New York used to swear by this hangover cure.” 

“That is disgusting. I think your friend might have been trolling you. I’m not drinking that. Get it away from me,” Carlos pleaded with TK, handing the glass back. 

“Your loss. Do you want me to bring you another tylenol?” TK asked. 

“Yes, please.” Carlos groaned, before letting himself fall back onto his pillow. 

When TK returned he made Carlos sit up again so he could take the painkiller. He also brought a plate with buttered toast that he made him eat. Carlos complained and whined about it, but once he was horizontal again and TK had joined him back in bed he contently snuggled up to the best husband in the world.

Send me more One Hundred Ways to Say ‘I Love You’ prompts please!

[boxboxlewis]

Everybody wants to touch George after he wins his first Grand Prix. Hands clasping him, lifting him up, hands on his back and his shoulders and his arse: he gets more physically intimate with the guys in the Mercedes garage, in those heady post-race moments, than some of the people he’s dated. Half of the guys he only has their names memorised because he’s watched Lewis, how Lewis remembers everybody and how many kids they have and what their hobbies are. Now he knows them in a more animal way, body to body. Victor to acolyte.

The one person George most wants to touch doesn’t hang around, obviously, for the interviews and the podium celebration and the big Mercedes team picture. George sends a text when he’s finally leaving the paddock, champagne-sticky and wrung-out and tired and buzzing, but tells himself it’s fine if he doesn’t get an answer. Alex is probably already asleep.

You up, mate?

The flutter he feels in his chest when he sees Alex is typing a reply doesn’t bear thinking about. Why mr russell, is this a booty call lol Alex writes. Also yes, obviously. At the hotel. A second later he adds Thrilled for you mate well done, followed by an array of trophy and champagne emojis. George stares at the messages for a moment; doesn’t let himself screenshot them, but wants to.

Lewis told him once that the secret to sexting is not to hesitate, which was extremely embarrassing at the time (George had been texting Alex, and yes maybe he was staring at his phone as if the perfect reply might appear there for him if he only gave it long enough, but he wasn’t sexting—“I can tell you’re sexting, man, you’re blushing,” Lewis had said) but is perhaps useful advice for the current circumstances. George and Alex hook up sometimes, and it’s not really an established thing yet, but “is this a booty call lol” is surely an invitation of a kind, right? It’s a door propped open, a light left on. Plus neither of their girlfriends is in São Paulo, and George just won a fucking Grand Prix, so.

Cheers mate, he writes, and then, with more confidence than he feels, Absolutely a booty call, yeah. You want to come to mine?

The time before Alex replies is agony. George forces himself not to text again, not to apologise and turn the whole thing into a joke.

Lol fine but you’d better shower I bet you’re disgusting rn Alex says, eventually. George feels lightheaded, feels ebullient. He writes back Haha no worries def getting in the shower as soon as I get to the hotel 🤪, adds the hotel name and his room number, and shoves his phone into his pocket. When the taxi gets to the hotel he sees Alex has replied Genuinely I’m confiscating your emoji keyboard, and then, Be there in thirty.

The sex is—

It’s always good, with Alex. Better than George thought sex could be, honestly. It’s as if his body and Alex’s body know each other and know exactly what to do, so George can relax and enjoy things instead of overthinking them: Alex braced over him, how good the taut muscles of his arms look, how he brackets George into a small safe space that’s somehow its own entire world. The feel of him inside George, huge and electric. The way his face looks when he’s trying not to come; the stuttering gasp he lets out when he finally does. 

Yes, the sex being so good is what fucks it, probably: what makes it seem like George can just say what he's thinking, without trying to refine it or make it palatable first. Alex is petting his hair, and George has had maybe the best orgasm of his life, and he’s a Grand Prix winner, now. He says, “It won’t change anything, you know.”

Alex’s hand goes still for a moment and then resumes. “What won’t change anything, Georgie?”

“My—you know,” George says, feeling oddly embarrassed. “Because I. Winning, I mean.”

“Mmm, well. Why would it.” Alex sounds amused, but amused in the way George hates: amused at George. “Worried you’re too good for me, now you’re Mr Sunday?”

“No, that’s not—”

“Sorry, I only take dick from guys who score points, is that the vibe?”

“Alex, stop it,” George says. Alex doesn’t.

“It doesn’t actually bother me, that you’re on a top team and I’m with fucking Williams,” he says, “obviously winning races is going to be part of that, I don’t—you’re very immature, sometimes, Russell, did you know that?”

“I wasn’t,” George says. “I didn’t—Alex, please—”

“You’ve always been a bit like this, though, haven’t you?” Alex says. “Even when we were in karting, you always—you’re not better, just because you win. It doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter.”

George’s chest feels as if it’s been hollowed out and filled with acid, which isn’t a simile: that is simply the only way to describe it. If he put a hand to his own sternum, he wouldn’t be surprised if it came away burned. “Look,” he says, trying to sound reasonable and calm and like someone Alex will want to continue having sex with. “Let’s just—let’s just forget I said anything, ok?”

“All right, George,” Alex says, and if he sounds sceptical and aloof, well. At least he’s still stroking George’s hair.

ty to @janinaduszejko for looking this over! we reckon george and alex probably don't make it in the short term in this universe, but maybe get back together in ten years' time after geroge's tragic divorce and resultant Slut Era

[didhewinkback]

OMFG I just read something old and MANNNN. You got me feeling all types of ways holy shit. The most I’ve ever felt reading a series holy cow. You are so fucking talented. Wowza. Please continue with the blurbs I feel like they are part of my life now.

Also does the fans know about Y/N and Harry’s current relationship? How did they feel when things were first announced after the wedding was called off and their relationship was exposed for the first time?

omg helllloooo you angel on earth !!! this message is soo lovely and kind and idk what i did to deserve it. i am so grateful that you took the time to write me and that you love the story so much!! i appreciate this message more than you knoow.

sorry this took me ages to answer as an apology i essentially wrote you a blurb pls see below

so per harry and erin's teams' agreement, the public never knew a wedding was supposed to take place. anyone who worked it had signed a pretty ironclad nda & all guests in attendance knew to stay silent about it, though some of erin's friends did try to go to deuxmoi at one point months later but that got shut down pretty quick. when the press release about the engagement ending came out, there was obviously endless speculation about it, discourse, tiktoks etc. people had a lot of feelings about harry and erin's relationship, they either absolutely loved the fashion power couple or they absolutely hated it and it was best to avoid any and all discussions on the matter, made easier by the break up being announced when you were on pause and doing your best to ignore any and all celeb news (though you did do some google searches at 3 am when you couldn't sleep but it immediately made you feel terrible so you avoided it like the plague, knowing if you needed to know something, harry would tell you)

as for your relationship, you both kept it realllly low key and private for the first year, wanting the broken off engagement to become old old news before anything got speculated about the two of you, harry was pretty adamant about ensuring no one connected you to the breakup. it was much easier than it sounds, he can really disappear when he needs to and it was important to both of you to protect what you had, shield it from prying eyes. his relationship with erin had been highly publicized and he had no interest in doing that again and you couldn't agree more, you've got no interest in that world or leaning into the public eye, so that first year was quite lovely, going on dates around london, moving in together around his birthday, 8 months into dating officially but conventional timelines never applied to you both. if you ever were spotted out together by fans, any speculation got shut down pretty quickly, people recognized you as his lifelong childhood friend and had no reason to assume otherwise, which worked in your favor when his tour started up again and there was tiktok upon tiktok about how "yes you've been to more shows than usual but jeff's at every show and no one thinks he's dating harry so why would they think it about you??" you avoided it all but roxy loved to take the piss, sending you screenshots every so often when you would show up on her for you page with a text "cannot seem to escape this bitch" to which you would reply "just how many videos of h's concert were you watching to get this on your algorithm?"

its in december 2021, the start of his few months off before the work craziness resumes, a lazy sunday morning. you're lounging on the couch, half heartedly clicking through netflix when you hear him come back into the house from his coffee run, hearing snippets of the phone call he's having getting louder after he kicks his shoes off and makes his way towards you.

"Yeah, I'll talk to her 'nd get back to you." he says, as he turns the corner, still bundled up with his beanie and hoodie pulled over his head, brow furrowed as he listens to the other end while still balancing the coffees and bag of pastries in his hand. "Yeah, for sure. Okay I'll call you back. Love you bro, bye."

He hangs up the phone, placing the treats on the coffee table before taking out his airpods and shuffling over to you. He hovers over where you lay, resting his hands on the back and arm of the couch before leaning in.

"Hi," he murmurs with a soft smile on his face, leaning in to kiss you.

You shudder when you pull away, the frost from outside having seeped into his face. "You're cold," you say with a small frown to which he immediately rolls his eyes and nudges his cold nose down the side of your face, pressing kisses all along your cheeks, forehead, jawline, until you push him away with a giggle. He smacks one final kiss to your head before pulling away, tugging his hoodie off his head and taking his beanie off to shake out his hair.

He leans back to grab the coffee off the table, handing you your cup while throwing the bag of pastries onto your lap before he grabs his own cup, lifting your legs temporarily before settling on the other side of the couch, placing your ankles over his lap. He leans back, resting his head against the back of the couch and closing his eyes for a minute, taking a deep breath. You assume you're the "her" he mentioned on the phone earlier but you opt to give him time, peeling open the pastry bag to see what he picked up.

"Got something weird to talk to y' about." he says, making you pause in your rifling efforts as you look over at him, finding him in the same position, his eyes still closed.

"Oookay."

He squeezes your ankle once, opening his eyes and rolling his head along the back of the couch to look at you.

"There was a pap yesterday. Last night. On our walk. Don't know how but - here." He pulls his phone out of his sweatshirt pocket, quickly unlocking it before handing it over to you.

You feel an uneasy pit in your stomach as you swipe through the photos, though there's nothing bad or damning or embarrassing about them. Objectively, they're quite lovely. The two of you bundled up through the blustery London night, his arm wrapped around your shoulders with yours around his waist, him pulling you into his chest as you laugh, his chin resting against your head, then pressing a kiss to your hair. You both look happy, really, really happy, completely unaware of any eyes on you. You keep scrolling through and - ah. There's the most revealing one, the two of you smiling up at each other before he pulls you into a kiss with his hands cradling your face.

You can feel his eyes on you, intently watching every emotion that passes over your face, thumb rubbing circles along your ankle. It's so weird, is the thing. To see this intimate moment between you two captured by a complete stranger who you had no idea was watching you. You've somehow managed to avoid this happening up until this point, the combination of lawsuits he has against paps in London and being able to blend in with the crowd having worked in your favor for the last year. It's a bizarre feeling, to feel like you got too complacent in your own life, should've been more aware of your surroundings. But also? Fuck that. You're not going to live your life differently because of what other people are doing or thinking. They're the ones with the issue, not you.

"'m so sorry," he says, 'Had no idea -"

"No no no," you say quickly cutting him off, as you hand him his phone back, sitting up and taking his hand when he offers it. "No need to apologize."

"Daily Mail and a few others got a hold of 'em, that was Jeff earlier. He and Sadie wanted to see if we wanted them to run any kind of interference." he says, small frown on his face as he plays with your palm, fingers drawing mindless patterns. "The photos are getting published regardless but like they could try to keep you as a mystery woman or summat -"

You snort, shaking your head as you rest your forehead on his shoulder, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you close. It takes a second of rearranging your legs before you're sat on his lap, his hand rubbing up and down your back. You pull back to look at him, hands coming up to cradle his face. He leans into the touch, turning to plant a kiss to your palm.

"You okay?" you ask quietly.

He nods. "Just don't like getting caught off guard like that. Don't like that people who don't know us will get to -"

"Yeah."

"And I don't want to fuck things up for you. Like your job or -"

"Everyone at work already knew. And those who didn't met you last week. Most people are barely on the internet there, I'm not stressed. " you say, sliding your hands to rest on his shoulders as he nods, brow furrowed in thought.

"'s gonna be intense for a bit. Might be good to hop on a call with Jeff and Sadie, see what boundaries we can set, control what we can control."

"Yeah, that'd be good," you say, your mind whirling as the reality of the situation sets in, photos of you kissing your boyfriend splashed all over the internet. Christ.

"Hey," he says gently. "Talk to me?"

"Sorry," you say, shaking your head. "I'm good. Just - it's a lot. It's definitely gonna be weird, nothing I can't adjust to but still just. Bizarre."

"Yeah." he says, his hand coming up rest at the back of your neck. "You look really fit in the photos if that helps."

You laugh, watching as the smile grows across his face, his thumb catching on your jawline.

"It does, thanks." you say, smiling back at him.

"'m really sorry this can't be easier. Being with me -"

"Shut up." you say, surprising a laugh out of him. "Please. This is nothing. Easy to ignore at the end of the day. All that matters to me is you."

"Same here," he says, taking a deep breath, lips twitching up. "All that matters to me is me."

"You're so stupid, I knew you were gonna say that -" you say, laughing as you slap him on the chest, trying to twist out of his hold but he pulls you back in.

"'s you, 's you. You know 's you darling, come here." he murmurs, smiling when you press your lips to his, gripping your neck a bit tighter as he kisses you back. You know you have to call back his team, figure out some logistics but that can wait. All you want is right here.

---

so yes, the photos get published, the fans freak out. lots claiming they always always knew, many spending their time trying to piece together the relationship timeline, no one connecting it back to erin thankfully. it helps that she is busy with her new billionaire boyfriend, (you almost clicked on their architectural digest tour the other day before deciding against it). but you both really ignore it all, keep going about your lives, nothing really changes because you don't let it. you both still want to keep your relationship out of the public eye as much as you can, it doesn't stop fans or paps from taking your picture when you're out together but its easy to ignore it, just focus on each other, ignore the noise and the crazy corners of the internet.

he rarely talks about you in interviews, confirming you're together, maybe a brief mention or two of his girlfriend but refusing to go beyond that. it's only in his zane lowe interview in late 2024 that he goes into a little more detail when describing his inspiration for his new album, but at that point he's calling you something entirely different :) :) :)

---

[compassionatereminders]

hi, i hope its okay if i vent here cause i know shits been rough for you lately (wishing you the best btw, which ik simply saying that doesnt magically make things better but hope yk what i mean)

i sent an asks a few months ago about having empathy for someone for the first time and really struggling to come to terms with it, how to deal with new overwhelming emotions and the like (i believe i also mentioned them being in an abusive situation at the time, which was a whole other complicated feeling to empathize with someones pain and to take it internally on levels i had never experienced or was capable of fathoming before in my entire life)

currently struggling with that person again, they left their original abusive situation but have entered a new complex one, as this person isnt intentionally shitty but they're rich, white passing and extremely privileged and out of touch, like truly they don't grasp my friends trauma and why it makes things hard for them (friend has gone through severe abuse and childhood trauma, neglect and homelessness just to say the light ones, its truly awful what they've been through) despite having some trauma of their own and i truly fucking despise them with my entire being

my friend is abusing alcohol and debating killing themselves due to this person dangling ending their relationship over my friends head --- (which is another thing thats complex and hurting, my friend never told me they were dating which like they totally dont have to obviously!! but they continuously insisted to me they were only friends, before suddenly revealing through a screenshot of their partners text that they were together, which they did with their previous abuser so like having it happen twice was icky feeling for some reason despite the fact ik they don't owe me that information at all, i dont care they hid it i just feel hurt and confused if i had done something to warrant not being trusted with that information but thats a whole other can of worms) --- due to them struggling to do something the person wants, because my friend has trauma what the person is requesting is hard and my friends explained why its hard and hurts them, they've thrown up daily from the stress and this person knows that but somehow doesnt grasp why its causing my friend such distress

i feel utterly suffocated by the entire situation and its put my life on full stop because i cant just leave my friend to deal with this themselves, but theres nothing i can say or do that can help them because they're deeply in love and won't break up with their partner even though the stress is physically ruining them. i feel hopeless and unable to do anything, i encourage them to talk to me because really i wanna be there for them but i feel so scared all the time that somethings gonna happen to them which makes me need to listen even more because their other friend is horribly abusive and contributed to their trauma, so i don't wanna leave my friend alone. i don't know how to deal with empathizing with their pain and not being able to stop it feels like its killing me cause now im also throwing up multiple times a day, genuinely debating drug relapse to cope with it all and i can't sleep properly anymore and only sleep on specific 4 hour intervals throughout the day next to my phone so i can be on constant standby for the friend and i know its not healthy and if they knew it was like this they'd never tell me whats wrong again (which i really dont want i truly honest to god wanna be there for them), i feel like no matter how i go about it theres no winning in this situation and honestly i wanna die from it all which sounds so silly cause my friend is going through SO much worse and here i am going waaah this hurts me!! i just eugh, i don't know what to do. which i guess i know what to do, but i don't wanna do any of it i've never cared about someone like i care about them and the thought of leaving them to sort it out themselves feels like the end of the world, even though i know they're also a sociopath and don't feel empathy towards me which is also a new shitty feeling cause now i know how people feel around me. this is exhausting i don't know how people with empathy deal with it especially you kat!! if i remember correctly you mentioned being very empathetic, it's amazing you're able to handle having empathy and running a blog where people often dump stuff in your inbox (which uh is the very same thing im doing now, sorry!) ok i got it all out of my system i'm gonna go take a nap and hope the problem is solved tomorrow (it wont be but a bitch can hope!!) thank you for being a space where i could word vomit my brain out, i really hope things get better for you and that your eye gets sorted out <3

No matter how unwell your friend is, you're allowed to have boundaries and limits. And while I get the desire to be there and do everything you can because you care about your friend, you will not be able to continue pouring from an empty vessel. This is not a sustainable situation. You neglecting yourself and not sleeping and getting physically ill and wanting to die is not an acceptable consequence of your friend being in a toxic relationship without being able to change their situation. I know you didn't ask for advice, but I strongly encourage you to establish some boundaries here and stand by them. You do not lose your right to have boundaries when a loved one is mentally unwell and if you do not prioritize your own mental well-being, you will not be able to continue being there for you friend

[mattypattypinky]

Gonna answer this ask thru screenshot, so I don't end up on the random-fandoms tags.

but... Cracks my knuckles 🗣️

Okay. I'm gonna go through a majority of the main cast that he doesn't address as much, starting with

🔱🐟

okay... He doesn't really address her that much, but he has stated that he's befriended everyone in previous timelines/RESET's. She can't be an exception.

I do think that he would admire her work. Her efforts, and DETERMINATION. She's definitely one of the more DETERMINED monsters. Not as DETERMINED as him, but still.

He'd probably look up to and even be inspired by the fact she canonically can take down the king. As it is stated in the genocide route that he can't get past the the king, and get the souls, but he knows the king would let 🍫 see the souls. He also thanks the player for weakening the king, stating that...

I think he'd find it unusually cruel that she is leading on 🍝, however. I feel like he would think its disgusting and cruel of her to lie to 🍝 about being able to join the guard, when she knows she won't let him in. He'd consider it wasting his time.

I don't think he would hate her, but I do think he'd be irritated by her tendency to lie to 🍝 for the sake of saving his feelings. He would think that is COWARDLY, and cruel.

🦴💤

This one is interesting to me, since he canonically does talk about him. I actually have this line of dialogue on my phone gallery already from one of my playthru's on my mobile port.

The thing about 🦴💤 that interests me is that he is aware of RESETS - Or, at the very least, he is aware that there is a massive anomaly in the timespace continuum, timelines jumping left and right, stopping and starting. This "anomaly" is argued to be either the player themselves, or 🌻. Needless to say, regardless of who or what the anomaly is, we know that before us, the player; 🌻 had the power to RESET timelines and play with peoples lives and dialogue strings, just as we do. and if 🦴💤 has cost 🌻 a fair share of RESETS, we can assume that in some timelines, 🦴💤 is an actual blockage point for 🌻's progression in his endeavors. I feel like 🌻 would consider 🦴💤 very much a nuisance, at best. Also, knowing that 🌻 has ties with 🍝, and knowing that 🌻 enjoys to lurk and people watch - we can assume that he may know a lot about 🦴💤 and how he interacts with 🍝, and I feel as though he'd have a negative opinion of 🦴💤 because of his laziness and lack of effort around the house, as well as the fact that 🦴💤 has stated that the reason he's given up on trying to go to the surface is because he know a RESET will inevitably happen, I feel 🌻 would think that is a sad or lazy excuse.

TLDR - He thinks 🦴💤 is a lazy nuisance who gets in the way of his endeavors and he dislikes him for how little he contributes to anything.

💉🦎/💉🦕

Sorry I have two ways of writing her emoji combo. Anyways...

💉🦎, I don't think he'd be fond of her either. I feel as though, he may blame her for his issues, or partially blame her for his issues.

You see, she was the one who brought him 'back to life', and his life at the moment is, sort of miserable. He has trouble feeling compassion, or empathy for others; and he's trapped inside of a SOULLESS Flower. In a way, I feel like he would consider a lot of his issues HER responsibility instead of his own.

He didn't ask to come back after dying, he didn't ask to have to deal with the traumatic memory of his siblings death, as well of his own, and suicidal thoughts. He didn't ask to be a flower.

That being said, I do think that he would thank her in some ways for his ability to play with timelines, and RESETS. His flower was injected with DETERMINATION, and, until we, the player; comes, he is the most DETERMINED being in the underground, able to stop and start, throw back and play with time itself. I feel as though in some ways, he would thank Dr 💉🦎 for this ability.

I also think he'd find the whole story and lie that she pulled to the human/Player insufferable, and he'd consider it wasting their time, but even then, he doesn't hate her, he just holds a grudge to her for many things.

🎭🤖

🎭🤖 is probably one of his least favorite monsters, I feel as though he'd find him insufferably annoying and entitled. I don't have much of an opinion on what their chemistry would be like, though... I would like to see them interact more in fan works.

I think he would dislike how he treats his worker, 🍔👖. I don't think he'd care enough to intervene with it, but if asked, I feel like he'd share a very harsh and brash opinion about it.

🦴🍝

You see, I'm a little tied up with this one.

I personally like to believe that like he admires him, and sees his younger self in him, in a way. You see, 🍝 is a helpful, kind, and trustful person. He believes anyone can be a good person, and gives people the benefit of the doubt, and I do think that 🌻 would look at him and think of 🐐💚 in some ways. I also personally like to think that at least in one timeline, 🌻 and 🍝🦴's "🌻 fanclub" meetings are actually a help group of sorts. I love to fantasize about the idea of the 🌻 fanclub actually being a little club that 🦴🍝 holds so that he can listen to and help 🌻 through his trauma and emotions, and 🍝 can rant about his own issues as well.

A lot of fanworks interpret their friendship as manipulative, but I don't see it as that as much. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of 🌻 is not a good life coach... But... 🦴💤 has stated that 🌻 gives 🍝 flattery, advice, encouragement, and predictions. These things could all be negatively painted, but they could also be really positive! And I do like the idea of 🌻's advice, flattery and encouragement being not from that big of ill will, but instead from admiration.

example -

🦴💤 is lazy and doesn't pick up around the house, he doesn't go to his posts or keep keep watch for humans, he sleeps on the job, etc.

🌻 makes a suggestion that 🍝 should be more stern with 🦴💤, or harsher, as 🦴💤 clearly isn't getting the message that sometimes 🍝 would appreciate the work help.

I don't think 🌻's advice would be good, but I do think it would come from a place of good will, as we know that 🍫 was rather a bad friend, and I don't think 🌻 would want 💤🦴 walking all over 🍝 like how 🍫 used too when he was little.

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

ok so i want to Vent for a sec if its ok bc it seems like you give the best advice on this app :)

Ok so basically I have this "friend" that I have been close with for over a year now but I don't know if she is a good person anymore because all she has done is push my other friends away and act like a pick me next to boys,here is an example of what im talking abt .

So basically I had had a crush on this one guy for almost 2 years and she knew this but at the time we had had an argument and she went on to shit talk behind my back to my crush on abt how bad of a person I was and after we made up she told me how he had called me a baboon (which he apparently called everyone but she somehow forgot to mention that) and I said to her quote"I don't want a friend like that"and she went on to tell him how I never liked him as a friend and he hated me for like 2-3 months until I said sorry for doing nothing ... Pluss she always talks abt how he likes her but she doesn't like him even though she knows ive liked the guy for so long . She also acts very and I mean VERY dumb next to boys but when they're gone she's suddenly miss know it all???

Another thing happened where a video of her was posted on another group snapchat of her shit talking people and when people confronted her she blamed me on taking the video (even though I literally didn't even know that video existed)and cried so all of my friends hated me for being a snake ... Even though I did nothing

But she always apologizes and I forgive her each and every time even though she immediately leaves my side for another friend but still forces me to hang out with only her knowing I can't say no .tbh I don't know what to do anymore bc she ruined countless of my friendships

Please please give me some advice . Love you btw I hope your having a great day and im sorry for venting but I just had to bc if I do to other people they say im over reacting or that I should just be mature and suck it up....

I gotchu bestie 💕

I have been in your shoes before and it's so draining having friends like that honestly. The only advice I can give you in this situation is to cut her off before things get worse. Tell her you don't want to be friends anymore, and then block her on every social media app, including her phone number. It seems like an overreaction, but trust me, just deleting won't cut it.

Tell your other friends you've ended the friendship with her and ask them not to tell her anything about you. And if she tries to contact you after you've done all this, keep track of everything. I'm talking screenshots. But do not engage.

Just keep your distance, and move on with your life. It'll be difficult, I know that from personal experience. I've lost friends I had for 10 years, 13 years, and 16 years. But in the long run, you will be happier.

And remember I am always here. We're besties and you will always have me 💕

[whalleyrulz]

halloween 2023

23) FINAL DESTINATION it's great! genuinely one of my favorite halloween series and movies. ok so

24) BEAU IS AFRAID fuuuuck me

jesus CHRIST i just

so this is one of the best movies i've ever seen in my LIFE

it's

jesus okay how do i do this

so pretty early into watching this, i said to a friend "holy shit holy shit holy shit ASH YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS"

because i thought, oh my god, this is the best anxiety story i've ever seen. i don't normally like anxiety stories. ten minutes in i was in love with this movie

by the end, i had sent a screenshot, of a screenshot, of a screenshot, of a screenshot, of a screenshot, of a screenshot, of another message i sent to them saying "i know i already said holy shit three times and then said you have to, in caps, and i apologize for doing that prematurely, and i apologize that i also am probably saying this prematurely too, but"

please don't look up anything about this movie. PLEASE. i will tell you all you need here

it's by ari aster, creator of hereditary and midsommar, but it's a dark comedy

it doesn't reveal its true genre until the credits roll

and most of all, it's a movie you neeeeeeed to watch with your brain on. not because it's too smart. but because you will

you WILL

you ABSOLUTELY WILL feel so fucking rewarded for doing so

i'm serious. pause this whenever you need. take your time. it's 3 hours long and normally i fucking hate long movies but this could have gotten away with being a bit longer. and i don't think it could have gotten away with being any shorter. pause and go make a drink. pause and talk with someone about what you saw. pause and digest. this isn't a movie for cinemas, this is a movie for at home

this movie is

okay fine ONE MILD SPOILER

this movie is in conversation with, fuckin' lit nerds get ready to lose your mind, it's in conversation with gabriel garcia marquez. and it's the first thing i have seen since i read The Spear Cuts Through Water that has made me feel, as a creative person, like a goddamn infant.

everything's on purpose. more than you might think. dm me about this. i want to talk more. but i cannot spoil a fucking thing. i can't. i'm sorry. i love you

1. skinamarink | 2. smile | 3. the black phone | 4. talk to me | 5. m3gan | 6. significant other | 7. cobweb | 8. horror in the high desert | 9. the pope's exorcist | 10. knock at the cabin | 11. infinity pool | 12. becky | 13. no one will save you | 14. huesera: the bone woman | 15. scream vi | 16. idle hands | 17. a wounded fawn | 18. v/h/s 85 | 19. evil dead rise | 20. mama | 21. look away | 22. some bad shorts and then the oldest view

[mxrp-official-steve]

Some elucidation on why we activate accounts this way.

Ok so i checked the tag while making my night bagel a little big ago and saw an ask. 

Ok so- the reason why account activation is Like This is because e-mail activation has been broken, in reality, for longer than anyone really knows. Emails authenticated and accounts were activated on Thelleparp because he had a program running 24/7 that served that function on a separate server that he made himself, and was not included in the parp package because it’s not really part of parp. 

If I knew how to fix it I would, but as it stands this is our way forward. When done through here I won’t answer directly unless on anon and my DM’s are open to non-followers if you would like to avoid using the discord server. If you would like your account authenticated with maximum privacy (i’ll forget your tumblr handle and your username unless I already know you, promise) then this is the best route. 

If you would like to go through the discord, our Tickets channel provides instructions on how to open a ticket only viewable by mods, admins, and yourself to do so. No other users will see it unless you take and post screenshots yourself (which someone already did and sent to mxrphell, lmao).

(Also because im sure folk are wondering how i can see hells posts even though im pretty sure they have me blocked its because i dont have the password to this account memorized so i just logged in to an old RP blog on my phone at work one day to check the tag and never fixed it)