#also god I’m not even going to get into how the robots (ESPECIALLY WALL-E) are all so human and charming and lovable

[silvermoon424]

Don’t make fun of me but I get emotional whenever I remember WALL-E. I think it’s genuinely the best movie Disney’s ever made.

[honourablejester]

Ideas for Warforged (D&D)

Because magic robots/constructs are the best idea. I will admit that backstory/inspiration-wise, I’m fonder of things like Discworld’s golems or the Muses from Girl Genius. I like the feeling of ancient constructed things learning to be people.

(I also like the caster classes, which will possibly be really obvious in a minute)

Cleric

I love the Grave Domain for warforged. How does a constructed being conceptualise death? Especially if they get slapped in the face by it. Take the standard warforged background, the machine built for war, a constructed, immortal child created for violence. Have them watch their squishy biological comrades die. A lot. Do they have an epiphany? Do they become curious about the beliefs and fears around death? Do they want to give comfort to their friends? Do they start to think of mortal death as a reprieve from a life of endless service and violence? (Do they view undeath as a horrific corruption of their own constructed service and immortality, taking relief away from those who have earned it in death?) Imagine a warforged priest of a grave god. The serene, mechanical face. The slightly off, dispassionate gentility. The curiosity and care. I love it.

Druid

Circle of Spores! Sorry, but we are continuing the theme of decay and the undying here. But with spores there’s a lot of … I’m thinking post-apocalyptic fiction. Robots in the remnants. Wall-E, even. Your trash-heap, rusted, bucket-of-bolts survivor of a dead world or colony or underground kingdom. The curious innocent finding beauty in decay, or perhaps a wiser, more melancholy survivor. Or a darker one, cynical about the cycles of extinction and regrowth. Also, just the image. A strange, skeletal metal creature, crystal eyes glowing uranium green, strange mushrooms growing from their rusted plates and darkwood sinews, surrounded by an almost-sound, a subaudible buzzing that people feel in their teeth. Watching warily as new creatures wander through their ruins, or spurred by their own curiosity to venture up into some strange new world.

Bard

The Muses, here, so very much. 18thC automata. The music box song from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. A construct built for beauty, grace, skill, to be the epitome of a craft, but also a construct that is very old. Built for kings, because who else could afford such breath-taking craftsmanship? Built to entertain or advise a ruler and their court, and so a lot wiser to the passions and vices underneath the pretty words than they seem. Students of history, who’ve seen it cycle through a few times. Maybe trying to escape, now. Find a simpler life. Or trying to affect things rather than just witness them, trying to be a hero or the villain or the spy instead of just the historian or the muse.

Paladin

Clockwork angels. Hubris and innocence all in one neat package. Constructs made in the image of celestials, complete with flightless bronze-and-silk wings, out of arrogance or hope or despair or for mysterious purposes that even they don’t know. Found in the laboratories of dead mages, or manufactured by warmongers for propaganda purposes. Innocent, still, hopeful, or else deeply, deeply cynical. Struggling to find or maintain a sense of their own identity, choosing oaths in honour or defiance of their image. Redemption, Crown, Conquest, Vengeance. Lots to have fun with.

Sorceror

We’re going more for the ‘touched by cosmic power’ angle than bloodlines, obviously, though there’s possibly some wiggle room if you go for weirder origins. Constructed with a little flesh and bone and blood from your creator, maybe? But I really like Shadow Sorceror here. A construct made in a dark ritual, touched by the fell energies of the Shadowfell. A strange, half-alive being, shadowed by darkness, who ‘woke’ in an empty ritual chamber with no idea of their nature or their purpose. Honestly, shadow sorceror is as good as warlock for the gothic, haunted end of origin stories, so might as well go full Frankenstein on the confused horror of a constructed being. Might lean a bit more on the ‘organic’ end of warforged construction here, darkwood, living stone, black metal. Just to match the aesthetic. Warforged are great for aesthetic.

Warlock

Speaking of. Just. I have already mentioned, but I love both warlocks and warforged, and they’re a lovely mix together. The Lurker Patron. A construct built to dredge a long-lost harbour, finding sentience and a strange ‘friendship’ while wandering the deeps. The Great Old One, a strange, mad being who cobbled you together from spare parts in an attempt to understand the life forms of this foreign plane. Fiend, the demon who was baffled and intrigued by the concept of an artificial soul, granting power just to see what temptation looks like in a heart made of crystal and stone (or the puppet master who stole the most beautiful and extraordinary puppet, to call back to the muses). The Archfey who built or stole themselves the perfect knight, a mobile statue or plaything that was never meant to win its own soul. There’s so many things to play with.

Rogue

To throw a bone to the non-caster classes. But. There is a lot of potential to the rogue, too. Assassin, particularly. One of the things that’s so cool with warforged is not only their own choices and motivations, but those of the ones who built them. Why train a perfect killing machine when you can build one? But then what happens when they become sentient? When they start to have feelings and opinions of their own? Rogue warforged have a lot of the same appeal as bard and paladin warforged for me. Beings built for the machinations of those around them, and struggling to free themselves and forge their own path. (Also I loved the Zeta Project cartoon as a kid and it rubbed off on me, and there’s something half-humorous and half-terrifying about a seven foot metal skeleton somehow built for stealth and infiltration).

Barbarian

My other favourite non-caster class, but there also some lovely things to work with here. Perhaps the flipside of the grave cleric above? The soldier warforged who grew to love battle instead, whose first emotions were the rage and terror and thrill of the battlefield. I like the Zealot barbarian here. The being literally made for the fight, who channelled it so perfectly that it drew the attentions of the gods of battle. But there’s also … the opposite of rage. When it’s a robot, a machine. There’s the image of the blank, emotionless killing frenzy. An anime I watched, Pumpkin Scissors, had a supersoldier as one of the main characters. A normally extremely sweet and gentle man, who could be brainwashed into a mindless killing state by a blue lantern. He was terrifying and tragic and unstoppable and broken. Imagine a warforged barbarian like that. A being terrified of the truly emotionless machine they become in battle, the remorseless frenzy they enter when injured or struck by the sight of blood, but believing they were built for nothing but war, knowing no way of living other than that.

… Um. In summary? Magic robots are great and, depending who built them and what for, can delve into tragic very quickly and easily. Heh. Though you can also easily go the benevolent creator route, the parent who taught them well, and take some much gentler angles on all of this. I’m just in a gothic mood tonight, apparently.

Also, there is just no beating the imagery you can build up around a living wood-and-metal being. And I’m not just saying that because I love a) robots, b) skeletons, and c) robot skeletons.

Honest, yer honour.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Weird q..but i really dont understand why most fans hate season 4, especially the last episode. Why? I think it gave us a deeper look on both sherlock and mycroft! I felt it tells a lot about mycroft how he had to step in and take control of things ever since he was a kid himself. Also he is not a robot or a killer. Also redbeard thing. It was an appropriate deep psychological trauma (cause most shows usually disappoint in that area). I am not trying to impose my opinion. Just want to understand

Hey Nonny!

It’s all good, and I totally respect your opinion and how you enjoyed S4! It’s totally okay! I know that there are quite a few who got a lot of of S4, and who genuinely enjoyed it.

Sadly, I am not one of those people, and I’ll try to be as diplomatic a possible in my response, but PLEASE know that I don’t think you’re “terrible” or “stupid” for liking S4 because I DO get passionate sometimes in my responses, and I’m just merely speaking as someone who studied the series very closely for quite a long time before S4 aired, and as someone who knows Day-One-ers (ie., people who watched Sherlock on its day one airdate) who also are a large majority of the people who did not like S4. This is just me simply stating why I didn’t like it, but it’s different for everyone.

Stating what I DO like: The acting and cinematography of the first two episodes were brilliant for what they had to work with, and I’ve never faulted any of the actors for the flaws of S4. And for TFP, they did the best with what they had to work with.

That’s… pretty much all I really liked about S4.

Now, here’s my problems with S4:

Nothing made a LICK of sense to the narrative that they were telling in Seasons prior. 

This series was always based a bit in reality, and suddenly everything became comic-book rules: X-Men villains, shitty “redemption” arc, destroying favourite characters just for drama, ludicrous physics, explosions that only destroyed one small room in an apt where in previous episodes one explosion destroyed an entire block, etc.

Sherlock was OOC.

Mary was being built up to be a fantastic villain? Ah, nope, here’s the lacklustre twist where tee hee Mary’s just an assassin with a heart of gold that still emotionally abuses Sherlock and John and just won’t fucking stay dead.

And speaking of this, the DVD’s make NO LOGICAL SENSE unless she was planning to kill herself

AND she tries to make her death equatable to Sherlock’s??

Everyone was RIDICULOUSLY out of character in TFP, I’m so sorry: Mycroft is a bumbling coward for the most part, Sherlock disregards John when he gives the Vatican Cameos warning, the Holmes Parents are assholes because Mycroft COULDN’T SOLVE A PROBLEM WHEN HE WAS 12?? ARE YOU SERIOUS???? And that creepy Moriarty / Eurus thing, and LITERALLY they’re implying that EVERYTHING HAPPENED BECAUSE EURUS DIDN’T GET A HUG. Like, I’m so sorry, but that’s lazy writing.

And don’t even get me started on the ridiculousness of the entire character of Eurus. She LITERALLY had X-Men powers, and like… just nothing made sense. Her involvement in the entirety of S4 MADE NO SENSE. Why go back to prison if you can get out?? WHAT IS THE POINT?? AND I repeat: She did all this because she didn’t get a hug. Yes. I’m oversimplifying, but at the base level, that’s what it was, because she wanted Sherlock’s attention. Welcome to the club, kid, stand in line, everyone on the SHOW wants his attention.

The ENTIRE plot of the first 2 seasons got wiped out all because it wasn’t Moriarty who was interested in Sherlock, but Eurus?? What… What about Carl Powers?? Like…. the ENTIRETY of season one and TGG makes no sense now, because of that one 5 minute scene where Eurus “enlists” Moriarty. I… ugh.

The SUDDEN tonal switch from kind-of Sherlock to James Bond, for some fucking reason.

And on that note, how terribly lazy and cheap TFP looks in comparison to the other two episodes. The whole episode looks like it was filmed in a small house with 4 identical rooms.

EVERYTHING that was etablished in 2 episodes prior were COMPLETELY forgotten when Mary was “shot”.

The complete character assassination of one loyal blogger John H Watson in favour of Mary for some fucked up reason, even though AT HIS OWN WEDDING HE COULDN’T STAND BEING AROUND MARY. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe for one damned second that John would EVER forgive Mary for murdering his best friend after seeing what it did to him. That’s not love from her, and that’s NOT John’s character EVER in the ENTIRETY of the series.

And speaking of character assassinations, Molly’s character being devolved to S1E1 Molly, where instead of giving her agency like they were doing with her the ENTIRE series, so much so that Sherlock picked up on her dominance enough to give her a big role in his mind palace in HLV and TAB, only to make her a sad little self-insert Mary Sue pining for the main character, and in turn made Sherlock a TERRIBLE human being for MAKING HER say what she did. It’s gross.

AND speaking of Molly’s character, they’ve been setting up Mollstrade since as early as ASiB, but I guess that plot line got shafted. Look I LOVE Hopkins, and I am ANGRY they didn’t give her more than 3 fucking lines in the entirety of ONE episode after HEAVILY promoting her actress and character, but they essentially reduced her to a piece of ass for Lestrade to chase. AND THAT’S NOT HIS CHARACTER EITHER. EW GROSS.

The constant plot holes being gaped wide open, and the Chekov’s gun moments where they bring up shit but do nothing with it!! 

TD-12? Nope, just a lame reference to a story we like. 

John got shot at the end of TLD with a VERY REAL FUCKING GUN? Nope, it was a dart gun. 

John not suddenly knowing how to be a doctor.

The TGG one I mentioned up above. 

What was in the letter? And who was Anyone??

Moriarty essentially being erased as anything other than a hired thug and had no part whatsoever in Sherlock’s history. 

Eurus… Just all of her character is asinine. 

Everyone in T6T suddenly not knowing John’s the blogger, which is in direct contradiction to literally the entire series. 

The AGRA plotline was ridiculous, in the end.

Baby? What baby? It was only there when convenient.

They dropped whatever plotline they were going to do for Mycroft: He was being set up as either dying, or the villain.

Redbeard. I’m sorry, I disagree with you on that. Mofftiss is trying to tell me that a little boy fell down a well and went missing, and that WASN’T the first place searchers / the police wouldn’t have looked? Sorry, no. And then. AND THEN his parents just… go along with this thing where Sherlock shuts down and they DON’T get him therapy? Yes, I agree the mind is a funny thing, and we can be traumatised into forgetting or dissociating from traumatic events. I GET IT. But… like I don’t believe the Holmes are so heartless as to just never grieve or have memories around about their supposedly dead daughter. It’s another OCC thing for me.

John’s cheating.

Disappearing and reappearing characters, like this scene, and the entirety of the aquarium scene.

Mary and John being terrible parents

OH GOD THIS FUCKING SCENE. That bomb SHOULD HAVE DESTROYED THE ENTIRE BUILDING.

What… who was this girl on the plane? What? Like I know WHO, but if she’s supposed to be Eurus talking to Sherlock, why don’t we see Eurus… talking to Sherlock? I … Ugh.

NORBURY. 

The glass SUPER SECRET GOVERNMENT ROOM THAT NO ONE SHOULD SEE INTO in T6T.

Sloppy camera work that some believe was intentional, but if it wasn’t, jesus c’mon.

The RIDICULOUS amount of 4th Wall Breaking. Like… even the actors didn’t give a shit.

Essentially, everything on this list here and in this blog tag here.

And everything mentioned on these three posts:

T6T: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night 

TLD: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

TFP: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

There’s SO much more I can go into, but please go through my “something’s fucky” tag in that last link.

Notice how probably 90% of that has NOTHING to do with “johnlock not becoming canon” because the Johnlockers get MONSTROUS accusations as to THAT being why we didn’t like S4, even though it was, like critically panned by the GENERAL AUDIENCE who have NO investment in the series other than “I liked it in the past”.

Two of my fave YouTubers have interesting (not perfect, but still good) takes coming at the series as casual viewers:

‘The Day Sherlock Died’ by The Closer Look

‘Sherlock is Garbage, and Here’s Why’ by hbomberguy

So it’s NOT just Johnlockers. I’ve talked to Sher1011ies at 221B con who didn’t like S4 either, because most of them realized how shitty Molly was treated in the last episode. So yeah, a big middle finger to those who think I dislike S4 because of  “no Johnlock”. No, I disliked it because I need my stories to make logical narrative sense. I disliked it because I love John and they ruined his character all for the sake of drama and because Moffat has a “hurting Ben” kink. I disliked it because Mary should NOT have been “redeemed” because she was an abuser. I disliked it because Moriarty was turned into a cartoon villain, even though he was already overused in the series. I disliked it because the core of the show – the FRIENDSHIP of Sherlock and John, and their solving mysteries together – did not exist at all. I disliked it because John got sidelined. I disliked it because TFP was a ridiculous episode that, if you replace ANY of the characters, it wouldn’t make a difference, because it didn’t feel like an episode of Sherlock. I disliked it because everyone was OOC.

Anyway. Sorry. One too many accusations my way over the past 1100+ days LOL.

As for your assessment of TFP, I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with you. There was no growth and actually it implies something far more sinister: That the Holmes are and were terrible parents that gave no shits about their daughter, their traumatized son, and expected their eldest to essentially be a parent. It implies that Mycroft, at 12 years old, orchestrated the ENTIRE Sherrinford thing… Look I can suspend my disbelief, but there’s limits, and this is one of them. A LITERAL CHILD. Perhaps Uncle Rudy had a hand in it somehow, but then why not shit on Uncle Rudy? Why is Mycroft blamed for it all?

Look, I don’t doubt Sherlock had a traumatic experience regarding “Redbeard”. But then why play into the fact that he was a dog? Why bring another character into the series just to have a gotcha moment? Because Mofftiss wanted a “Shyamalan twist”, that’s why. They threw EVERYTHING away for a twist ending either because they GENUINELY thought it was good, or they got tired of doing Sherlock. ALL of TFP is LITERALLY a really bad plot twist because reasons. TFP makes no sense to the ENTIRE narrative structure of the previous 12 episodes. It erased EVERYTHING from the previous episodes, and coated it with a gross closing by a character no one wanted in the series, and then tried to convince us that it’s a new beginning – “a journey they had to go through” – but it SOLVED NOTHING.

Anyway. I have big feels about S4, and the only way I can enjoy it is to watch it subtextually, but even then, I cannot sit through TFP without cringing. 

That said, Lovelies, please do not attack Nonny for enjoying S4! I know you guys won’t, but Nonny came out with an olive branch and they just want to understand why the fandom is passionate about S4′s… whatever it was. We can have a civil discussion about it, and point out – without attacking – why S4 is universally panned. It’s okay to like things no one else does, and Nonny was respectful to me in this ask! 

So with that, feel free, lovelies, to express why YOU didn’t enjoy the series, or why you did! I’m interested in both “sides” / pov’s whatever :)

[riotwritesthings]

Coffee and Bad Words

WinterIron, T, 1.5K, convenient amnesia

For the @winterironmonth​

Fun fact, this is probably my favorite prompt I’ve written for the month so far it’s so goofy I regret nothing.

SFW Wednesday, Amnesia AND “All I do is drink coffee and say bad words.”

-

Bucky walks into the lab with a half formed plan for how he’s going to try and coax Tony out. The man’s been locked up down there playing with some weird bit of tech they picked up on their last mission for almost 36 hours now, and everyone is starting to get concerned. Bucky is pretending not to know why he was chosen for this job.

The doors open for him, and the second he steps into the the lab Tony spins to point at him and demands “you. We’re friends, right?”

“Um,” Bucky says, because that’s the big question isn’t it? Bucky would certainly like to think so, at least, he’d even like to think maybe he’ll work up the balls to try for more than that sometimes soon. Especially if the rest of the team keeps mocking him about his ‘totally obvious’ feelings. Still, he’s not sure what answer Tony is actually looking for here, so he finally settles on a hesitant “yes?”

“Right,” Tony says, nodding and turning back to the million screens opened up before him, spanning nearly the entire workspace and displaying what looks like various clips of security feeds from the lab. “Right, of course we’re friends, you spend so much time down here. We’re totally friends. That makes sense. I’ve hardly seen anyone else on these feeds, and look, look I’m even laughing in this one.”

Tony pauses to point to one of the screens and Bucky remembers that day. He doesn’t remember exactly what stupid pun he’d made, but he remembers the way Tony had laughed, eyes squeezed shut and head thrown back.

“Tony,” Bucky says slowly, and he’s starting to get a bad feeling about this, but before he can say anything else Tony spins back towards him with a victorious grin.

“Tony! That was going to be my question, thank you!”

Bucky’s heart drops into his stomach. His bad feeling gets exponentially worse.

-

Turns out, the fancy new gizmo Tony had been playing with activated somehow, and apparently wiped his memory. All of it. And instead of telling anyone, Tony has spent the past twelve or so hours alone, watching security footage.

“Why didn’t you tell someone?” Bucky can’t help demanding, heart racing, and he has to get Tony to medical, get him checked over, what if there’s something else-

“Because I had to figure out who I am, first!” Tony insists, breaking into Bucky’s panic spiral, throwing his arms in the air, like somehow Bucky is the one being ridiculous here.

“So you’ve been watchin’ security footage of yourself?”

“A man is most himself when alone,” Tony says obnoxiously and Bucky resists the urge to roll his eyes. Then Tony considers the screens again and adds “and when you’re here, I guess, you’re down here like all the time. You didn’t even leave when I snorted a questionably green shake out of my nose, which, gross. Although you did laugh at me, that’s real friendship I guess.”

Bucky ignores the heat trying to rise in his face because right, sure, friendship. “You couldn’ have tried the internet?” Bucky asks instead of addressing the fact that it really is obvious how much time he spends hanging around Tony now that it’s all laid out like this, “or, I dunno, asked JARVIS?”

Tony’s nose wrinkles adorably as he demands “the ceiling voice?! Like hell am I trusting that, next thing I know it’s going to be refusing to open the pod bay doors!”

“Oh my god, you’re so paranoid,” Bucky groans, slumping onto one of the stools and resisting the urge to drop his forehead to the table.

“See, you do know me!” Tony says brightly, smile lighting up his face, and despite everything Bucky’s heart gives a little flutter. “So far, I’ve been able to determine that all I do is drink coffee and say bad words.”

“Well, you’re not wrong there,” Bucky mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose, and Tony laughs again.

“Also, am I building a robot army? What up with that?” Tony asks, turning back to his many screens with a thoughtful look.

“You are a robot army,” Bucky says, and he’s about to actually explain the suits of armor lining the walls when something on the screens catches his eye instead.

He remembers that day, too. Tony in a tank top, working on one of the armors, grease smeared across his bare arms. Bucky feels his face heating up, because he remembers what happens next, too. On screen, Bucky wants into the lab, catches sight of Tony, and promptly trips over DUM-E and goes sprawling to the ground. Not his proudest moment, but not the worst he’s ever embarrassed himself in front of Tony with the man, somehow, miraculously not noticing.

Bucky glances over at Tony, to see if maybe he’d managed to miss Bucky’s face plant this time too, only to find Tony already watching him with a considering look. Bucky opens his mouth with absolutely no idea what he plans to say, but Tony beats him to it anyways.

“Did you know,” Tony starts slowly, and apparently he doesn’t need his memory to get the same look on his face when he’s putting the pieces together, “that when you moved the couch to get the ball one of the weird robots lost, I straight up fell off my chair and nearly stabbed myself with a screwdriver on the way down?”

“Uh,” Bucky says, because he had not known that, and the knowing look that’s slowly growing on Tony’s face is making him nervous. For multiple reasons. And a part of him can’t stop wondering how many other stupid things Tony has seen him doing in these feeds, how many stupid things Bucky has missed Tony doing over him.

“So, new question,” Tony says, sidling towards him with an amazing amount of confidence for someone with no memories. “Are we, by any chance, right on the delicate edge of more than friends?”

“Uh- you,” Bucky stutters out and he can’t back away fast enough, his hip bouncing painfully off the corner of a table because he can’t drag his eyes away from the way Tony’s tongue swipes out to wet his lips. Finally Bucky gets his brain back online enough to insist “we’re not having this conversation when you don’t remember anythin’!”

Tony pouts but at least stops advancing on him, and it’s incredibly difficult for Bucky to drag his attention away from the swell of Tony’s lower lip. “Fine. And I suppose you’re going to make me go talk to doctors now,” Tony says with a roll of his eyes, and Bucky’s not sure if it’s a good or bad sign that Tony’s dislike of going to medical isn’t reliant on his memories either.

“For starters,” Bucky grumbles. That’s right, he just has to deal with this one thing at a time, first they make sure Tony is okay, then they figure out what’s going on with his memory, and then-

“And then we can make out?” Tony asks hopefully and Bucky almost trips over exactly nothing.

“Would you please just- grab the thing and we can go talk to someone?” Bucky demands and Tony’s little smirk is really not helping anything.

“Fine, fine,” Tony says, smirking wider as he turns to grab the small device still sitting on one of the tables.

There’s a bright flash of light.

Bucky wakes up on his back, blinking at the ceiling in confusion.

“Are you kidding?! It was that easy?!” Tony’s voice demands from somewhere on the other side of the lab, “I hate magic. So much.”

“I know,” Bucky says with a groan as he pushes himself upright again, and then pauses, “wait, you remember that?”

“I also remember taking my midterms in a hula outfit, which I haven’t remembered since the 90’s, so that’s fun,” Tony says and his head pop up over one of the tables, looking a little dazed, a little confused, but no worse for wear. “Apparently, when I get my memories back I get all of them back. Including the things I’d rather not.”

Tony continues complaining as they pick themselves back up, dust themselves off, and Bucky is just trying to figure out what the hell he’s supposed to say now. Does he act like they didn’t just have an accidental revelation? Chalk it all up to the effects of the magic mind wiper and never speak of it again?

As usual, Tony beats him to the punch. His eyes flick up to the screens again, and a hopeful smile spreads across his face. “So, did we have to go upstairs right now, or..?” He trails off, wiggles his eyebrows, and almost manages to hide the nerves in his voice.

“Or,” Bucky says, surprising himself with how firm his voice comes out considering he had no idea he was going to say it. He’s not taking it back through, not missing this chance because knowing himself, Bucky could spend the rest of his life finding excuses to wait.

“Yay, we’re gonna make out,” Tony says, giddy and goofy and oh, Bucky’s heart is swelling almost painfully in his chest as Tony picks right back up on advancing on him.

“Just a little,” Bucky says, already reaching out to pull him in, “then it’s straight to medical for you.”

“Boo,” Tony tries to complain, but Bucky just kisses him quiet.

[monkey-network]

Why EVE is The Best

Heads up. I’m basically gonna sperg about this whole film, so spoilers for this twelve year old film. Enjoy!

Wall-E is one of my favorite films; I would gladly kill and extort to bring the sequel I had in mind to life in any way; animatics would pleased me if nothing else but anyways. I love this film and one of the biggest reasons for that is the character EVE, a character that stuck in my mind longer than most if you can believe. So, better time than any, Imma just ramble about why I love this character. And, before we begin, I’m gonna say EVE is a girl, Wall-E is a boy due to my brain believing they were respectively female- and male-coded for most of my life but do NOT let this stop you from envisioning them however you please. If they’re both girls or boys to you, all power to you. With that said, here we go...

The Design

Now I’m not saying she has the greatest robot design ever; I don’t look at eggs and remember better days when I got to watch that film for the first time in my old house. But Pixar certainly knew how to make simplicity work to perfection. Simple shape, simple mechanics, simple movements. All feeling right at home with her coming from the more advanced future, especially compared to Wall-E where he’s literally a more grounded looking robot. Thematically, this design is fucking genius. A scouter robot with the ability to fly with ease and yet carries a literal arm cannon with incredible fire power. Both expressing how she can have her head in the clouds, observational when necessary, and yet trigger happy amidst the slightest inconvenience or surprise. *MWAH* What the fuck? It’s a great duality where the hard, more logical exterior possesses a sweet and approachable core just waiting to be shown and it’s wonderful seeing Wall-E, this literal block head, fumble his way into having a simple conversation with her. Now I can’t really disassemble how the programming in Wall-E works where they can behave like humans but follow objectives like a machine... but, I can try. With this scene.

Now take this with a grain of salt, the inferencing is more to the imagination otherwise the fun of this movie is tarnished. But from this scene, it’s clear that in this universe robots can show feelings for one another but can’t be romantic with humans because they can recognize human emotions and reactions but do so in an automated sense. The film expresses their curiousity just enough to where their reactions to human things and functions are within reason and yet doesn’t toy with the viewer’s believability. EVE is capable of responding to Wall-E’s advances but doesn’t 100% reciprocate his feelings because Wall-E isn’t her directive (least not yet, that’s for later). Not to mention, she isn’t that adept at romance unlike Wall-E who, by being alone with Earth’s technology, was able to learn and process human romance through the Hello Dolly VHS and potentially other things over the years. So this conversation works with the two having their limited knowledge, we don’t know how much they know, and the film keeps focus on having a balance between somewhat logical reactions and minor impulsive humane reactions that makes them alive but only just enough so it doesn’t feel like them being robots is pointless... Phew. Speaking of which, you know what isn’t pointless? Her motherfucking buster cannon.

Her whole ass arm houses a gun capable of nuking an entire cargo ship in a matter of seconds and it makes sense that she’d have it cuz how can a scouter robot defend themselves but beyond that, it’s just so goddamn cool. Like yeah, I can express how this symbolizes about America and... how they want to fuck their guns or something but who cares. She has a FUCKING ARM CANNON and it’s badass, end of discussion.

The Hanger Moment

Much as I love the moment where the two are in space flying, I honestly say that this moment where the two are in Wall-E’s house during the darude sandstorm is incredibly important. EVE is reasonably taken to his home and naturally, when the lights come on, she looks through the stuff he gives to her. She gets to take it easy for once, things can be quiet after she blew up a whole ship, have a giggle or two at the trinkets he’s collected, with the cigarette lighter being a good tool that’ll be used for later.

She’s curious, bouncy, still a bit quick on the draw, but is nonetheless taking in a lot this robot on Earth has to offer. It’s this and the small 1v1 they had before that is a lovely seedling to not only their connection but EVE’s development on her own, where we hardly need dialogue to show how she’s feeling about it all. And yeah, I’m with plenty of people to say that if this movie was just about the two of them being on Earth it probably would’ve been the greatest Pixar film of all time for many. Fortunately the plot kicks in when Wall-E shows EVE the plant, forcing her to go dormant, thus pulling Wall-E into an adventure on the Axiom ship. And I say fortunately cuz this is where EVE goes from good to great as a character.

The Axiom

While it’s something where we all wish that this film wasn’t the densly plotted, society driven second half, I say the second half on the Axiom carries the film’s themes and character building for EVE to good heights. We enter EVE’s territory, the slick, iPhoney synthetic world where humans have become literal potatoes and everything’s more or less automated. For EVE, the first half of the film lets us see the more playful side of her and doesn’t mind being around Wall-E, but isn’t immediately won over with the concept of love. She’s still goal-oriented and trying to keep the two stuck on Earth would’ve made her arc as open-ended and ambiguous as The Good Dinosaur. Time on the axiom puts her original sense of thinking to the test when Wall-E tags along.

To share the bigger picture real quick, the human element of Wall-E is complimentary to Wall-E and EVE’s humane behavior. To quote RealJims’ honestly flawless analysis, “What better way to show the humanity in a robot than to be among humans that act like robots?” For Wall-E the robot, this works perfectly as a fish out of water story. His time on Earth affects not only a few humans, but other robots like MO and the secretary machine, as minor as it seems.

So when Wall-E seemingly fucks things up, EVE is rightfully peeved. His slip ups especially with the Diagnostics scene tests her goal-oriented nature and patience, to a tasteful comedic strength. Doesn’t mean they now turned Wall-E stupid, the film makes sure the monkey wrenches are only accidents from someone severely out of the loop of things. This leads them and us well into

The Depths of Space

The scene where Wall-E gets launched in the escape pod thrills me with joyfully painful suspense every time. EVE making a mad dash to him as Wall-E madly tries to get out of the soon exploding pod, leading to it exploding and we get this from EVE. The wide eyes of terror followed by the whispering “No”s gives me shivers every time I see it in full. 

Now one could argue her concern was more for the plant getting destroyed, but I say she was more frightened at the idea of both Wall-E and the plant getting nuked. While Wall-E did make her mad, she nonetheless cared about him and wasn’t expecting the tiny bot asshole to send him to death. So it’s like, “Oh no, both my purpose and the one that helped me are both gone.” 

Luckily, thanks to some foreshadowing, Wall-E made it out alive with the plant in safe keeping and EVE seeing Wall-E actually care about her goal makes her beam with joy, being that reasonable spark that brings the two closer together. I mean if your love interest cheated death to help you out, why wouldn’t it? Everything about this moment is what made EVE stick with me long after I watched the film; the emotional journey the director was able to convey with her is so well-built to this point, it’s still amazing how they were able to do it with little dialogue or facial expressions. I especially love the emptiness we get of the two of them in space, where it adds focus to the two of them especially. But my god, that’s only half of it...

The space dance sequence between the two is still one of Pixar’s most gorgeous scenes. The way Wall-E is able to keep up with the fire extinguisher after having trouble in the film’s beginning, the wide shots of space, the lovely glow of the engines, the music. I especially like to think of this scene as a parallel to EVE’s initial flight on Earth. For her, it was that rite of passage after the touchdown and now she gets to share that same moment with someone she’s grown to like or appreciate. Then again, this isn’t the moment where EVE loves Wall-E. We’re close, but we need that one inch to finally show her the truth. That’s when she sees

The Recordings

The moment where EVE gets to see the memories of her time on Earth, including her dormant stasis, is where shit finally clicks. She essentially gets to know how Wall-E felt not only about her, but about love. Even when she couldn’t be there, she sees now that Wall-E cared about her and is able to process what Wall-E processed when he looked at Hello Dolly at one point. Scene also works because getting her directive, or the plant, was generally done and done with, she finally gets time to focus on something else, on her feelings for someone else. This leads well into... the well that leads to...

The Dumpster Moment

The scene with the recordings is where things finally click, but the moment with EVE and Wall-E in the ship’s dump is where it comes together. After getting betrayed yet again by AUTO, EVE’s concerns are now less with the plant and more for Wall-E and thanks to the moment previous, I can totally buy this. It’s teeth gritting seeing her try to rescue a now broken Wall-E from getting ejected into space and losing his energy thanks to a destroyed chip. So when we see her finally toss the plant aside and says Wall-E is her directive now, I tear up. It feels like a genuine, built up declaration on her part; the moment where EVE can rationally return his feelings ten-fold and truly be there for him. But that isn’t all to it, because Wall-E reasonably struggles his way to the plant to show that to save him, they need to get to Earth which means getting the plant back to the core of the ship.

This gives EVE newfound resolve and puts that to the test, where she has to basically defect against AUTO who’s become the physical antagonist of the film. The escape sequence is a bit of a step down since putting humans in danger doesn’t really affect the film’s themes all that well, but I can’t argue that pitting the captain against AUTO is a bad climax. 

The Death to Wall-E

Thinking about this film after so long, it is still pretty fucking shocking to realize how punishing they treat Wall-E in the final act. It’s even more shocking when you realize how the roles have reversed, where Wall-E focuses more on EVE’s goal with the plant instead of EVE herself and vice versa. Then again, I say it’s fair that they did this, to show how much Wall-E was willing to sacrifice for the one he loves which makes the painful wails we hear from EVE feel all the more impactful. Like you’re serious with her as she struggles to accept his death before they reach Earth. And speaking of Earth...

The Finale

Now, I can’t help but argue it’s an unfortunate plothole that EVE is somehow able to fully repair Wall-E in spite of never fixing anything else in the film. Then again, it’s fucking pumping seeing her move quick to put him back together and it’s that final stomp on the heart when, even when he’s fully restored, Wall-E bares no memories of her or anything. You see her desperately try to get him to remember anything only to be met with an emotionless, reset shell. In finally understanding Wall-E’s feelings of love, she can’t really be with him. Until...

True Love’s Kiss Saves the day

I can get scientific with how getting his memories back was possible, but I won’t because the scene just works. It’s quiet, takes it time, and that last eureka moment with the two truly get to hold hands makes up for any scattered logistics. I’d say this is where Wall-E finally gets the love, but the same can be said for EVE, after everything she went through. I’ve admittedly seen a few talk about how the female lead is only valid through the love of another, typically male, but I believe what works 120% here is that the two characters basically have themselves figured out, Wall-E more than EVE, and EVE’s journey is never hindered for a sudden realization to love. She still succeeds in her mission, but the stakes for her have risen once she comes to terms with her newfound feelings and these feelings aren’t out of pocket. Wall-E has his feelings for EVE from the getgo, but dedicates to helping EVE with the goal, even if it means death. The connection they get to have is earned and is what drives the plot. EVE earns what she realizes she wants and that makes her a great female protagonist in my eye.

The Conclusion

Wall-E is a pretty warm movie; a film how the love of two brings humanity to salvation and vice versa. How EVE and Wall-E’s love is synonymous to the intertwining of modern and older technology to shape the world. But honestly, that probably wouldn’t have worked as well without how great they made EVE as a character. Wall-E is great too, but it’s astonishing to see EVE’s journey with Wall-E and show her natural growth of understanding something as warm as romance. Her journey is pretty synonymous to how I feel with the movie overall. The time we get of them on Earth is symbiotic to the time we get in space; we get an intimate journey that expands to a film about society but remains personal and intimate nonetheless. And with EVE, we get this superbly fleshed out character that’s emotive, understanding, and above all gets a resolves that’s awesome to see every time I catch or just think about this film. What else is there to say?

They’re the Best.

[non-sequitura]

Non-sequitura Disney in-depth analysis (after making a tier list)

Warning: SUPER longform. If you don’t know a movie well, you should skip the summary. I tried to be light on spoilers, but they’re there.

I went chronologically from favorite to least favorite. So S tier is, in order from fave to least fave, The Incredibles, WALL-E, then Zootopia.

S tier (Something I consider high quality AND a movie I greatly enjoy. I would love more Disney movies be like this.)

The Incredibles - one of my favorite movies of all time, possibly THE favorite. Rockin social commentary, epic action scenes, memorable characters, not a minute of screentime wasted, great take on the Fantastic Four, hilarious parts for both adults and children, an interesting villain, etc. 

WALL-E - I love how social commentary was done here. Also skies above, what a beautiful love story. Really blazed a trail in non-verbal storytelling (especially given it was an animated kids film!) Robot animations are particularly delightful. 

Zootopia - another social message delivered excellently and entertainingly. I love Judy and her persistence, I love the expressiveness of the faces and the epic city setting. I love Judy and Nick's banter. This movie deserves to be remembered longer than it has been so far. Admittedly, not one of my fave villains, which makes it my least favorite of the Ss. 

A tier (either super high quality or something I greatly enjoy and deem of at least reasonably good quality)

Mulan - this movie did everything right. Truly feminist protagonist, an icon for strong Asian women, fairly culturally accurate (tho Mushu confuses me), GORGEOUS and iconic music. Lets a relatively natural romance develop. I frickin love the action scenes, I love the emporer. Sadly, this movie just didn't lodge its way in my heart as well as Pixar did. Pixar just has some magic, yo. 

Cinderella - my gosh what an underrated protagonist. Her family straight-up abuses her and she never loses sight of her goals for a better life. Iconic visuals helped bring Disney out of bankruptcy. A gorgeous alto singing voice. 

Wreck-it Ralph - alright alright ppl don’t crucify me for this. I honestly can’t think of much wrong with this movie. Vanellope and Ralph’s vitriolic best buds relationship is adorable, her forgiveness of him is heartwarming and (relatively) deserved, rockin’ Owl City song, epic visuals that mix together bc of all the different games. ALSO ONE OF THE BEST DISNEY VILLAINS NO CAP. One of the only twist villains I like. And we stan the romantic pairing. 

Tangled - I’ve talked about this a lot, but Rapunzel deserved the whole world after what she’s gone through. That being said, Gothel is not some shallow monster she needs to escape from, but an intelligent, well-defined monster with backstory. I could totally see this story happening if the world of Tangled existed. Epic love story, hilarious dialogue. Music is… good but much of it is less memorable to me. Visuals are good but not quite at the level/creativity of many other disney films. 

The Lion King - they really put Hamlet in Africa and pulled it off lol. But in all seriousness, no one took the premise of this film seriously at the time and it became sooo iconic. I love Scar and his eventual downfall, I love how Simba grows emotionally, I love the sad moments that don’t overpower the overall feeling of light goofiness. And music so memorable it was one of the first Disney musicals. 

Coco - not a super unique story premise. But an incredible culture to explore with such creativity and sensitivity. I love the themes of death not being the worst and music being so central to the story. Twist/twist villain was memorable and not expected. And yeah, it did make me cry, so props there. 

Ratatouille - the most recently watched of these films for me. This movie is soooo unique! Back when Pixar was truly super out there with their concepts. Super Parisian visuals and soundtrack. It somehow starts goofy (THE OLD LADY TRIES TO KILL REMY WITH A SHOTGUN WHILE WEARING A GAS MASK) but really drives home the message that you can truly do what you want regardless of who you are. Colette can get it. And the monologue by Ego at the end is one of my favorites in film. 

Frozen - Anna is one of my favorite Disney protagonists. She’s so resilient and loyal. Elsa ain’t bad either but she experiences… less character development. The film is a tad too pleased with its own self-awareness for my taste, but there’s no denying how iconic the music and visuals were. 

Inside Out - Alright, this movie hits home for me bc I tried to run away after moving. A super thoughtful, heartfelt depiction of (potentially depression? imo) with great moments of humor. Riley’s inner world is so creative and lovely. Also realistic depictions of Minnesota/California culture. 

Tarzan - Jane! is! smart! and! adorable! Her scientific curiosity makes her very endearing. it’s so cute to see her and Tarzan learn from each other. Also Tarzan’s “found mother” is epic. Solid score. Solid film all around. To quote Lily Orchard, “This film is what Pocahontas tried to be.” 

B tier (one of my favorites but has a few significant flaws that bring it down (or not quite as memorable to me, but consider good quality))

Peter Pan - Haven’t seen it in a hot sec, but I remember being super charmed by this as a kid. Just going out, having incredible adventures, and returning to a warm home at the end of the day. Tinker Bell is hilarious and beautifully drawn. Gets major negative points for the depiction of Native Americans tho. 

Big Hero 6 - I was super charmed by the protagonist, his family/friends, and the setting. The plot/villain’s motivations are a bit of a mess, though. 

Princess and the Frog - This movie has so much flavor to it! The visuals/music are lovely and unique. Tiana is incredible but it’s kinda annoying how EVERYONE keeps trying to shoehorn her into romance. The thing is, her goals are entirely reasonable. Focus on her restaurant, then look to settle down. But they’re like “nooo you’re ignoring the important things in life” smh. Also, epic villain, woohoo! The movie dragged significantly for me when they were in the bayou. Charlotte is delightful. 

Winnie the Pooh - don’t remember it super well, but I think it was charming and occasionally dark, which is an addictive concoction. 

The Little Mermaid - MAN ppl roast Ariel way more than she deserves. Visually, it was… fine. idk. This movie is good. I don’t have much else to say about it. 

Snow White - the one that started it all. Visually, super impressive. Musically, lovely. I find the romance a bit… off. Well, more than a bit. What is it with Disney and kissing sleeping people? 

Alice in Wonderland - a nerdy acid trip. Right up my alley! I also like films where ppl go on incredible adventures and return to the status quo, but THEY changed bc of it. Epic. SUUUUPER creative visual interpretation of Carroll’s book. Brave - gosh I loooove films where a parent and child learn to understand each other. Never got why ppl hated this movie so much. The Scottish flavor is present and fun. Merida made one mistake and made it up. The arrow scene is iconic. 

Cars - a fun ride! (hahaha puns.) We love seeing Paul Newman as a car. 

B-minus tier? (same as B, but problematic, or weaker story-wise.)

Hunchback - man… settings-wise, this film might be my favorite. I also love Esmeralda and Quasimodo as characters and as a duo (though the sexualized depiction of Romani ppl is not epic.) I also don’t find the discrimination against Esmeralda/Quasimodo jarring bc it matches the time period. Frollo is super interesting as a villain. The gargoyles are… def not necessary. Basically, this film doesn’t know what it’s doing with tone. 

Sleeping Beauty - Aurora was my favorite when I was younger because I thought she was the prettiest, and that still defines how i feel about this, basically. Visually lovely - everything is kind of elongated and gothic. Maleficent is spiteful and epic. I have no issue with the fluffier parts of the movie, like the music or the fairies. RIP for lack of consent being a plot point, though. 

Hercules - Megara is incredible. one of the only Disney “princesses” who acts like an adult and has cynicism as a major part of her personality. I love her and Herc’s progression where she learns to trust him (yes, he is genuinely that sincere, it’s not a front.) Muses are unique, whoever came up with them was high on something and I’m living for it. I just think the plot itself was somewhat unrealistic/ weirdly-paced. There are some memorable songs, some less-than-memorable songs. Art style is cool but I’m personally not a fan. EXTREMELY inaccurate depictions of the original Greek gods. 

C tier (entertaining, but I don't consider it a great movie)

Bolt - I watched this like 11 years ago. It was fun! A cool concept about those put on a pedestal learning their worth even without celebrity boosting them up. Animation was… fine I think. not super memorable to me. 

Frozen 2 - They really took any scrap of character development Elsa had in the first movie, threw it in the garbage and set it on fire. Anna deserved so much better. Songs are bombastic and impressive, have the occasional interesting lyric, but are really weirdly placed and none are quite as iconic as the first movie’s (except Aurora, she does great work here. Also the song Anna sings after she thinks Elsa died.) 

Not a big fan of the vaguely homeopathic theme. Not a big fan of Olaf’s WEIRD character development. Not a big fan of the suuuuuper awkward dialogue and the animations that imply not only that Kristoff is into his reindeer but that Elsa and Anna are into each other (if you’re questioning if they did that, yes, they did, I can find screenshots of some really weird expressions/moments. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO PANDER TO YOUR WEIRD FANS, DISNEY.) 

The voice actors did great work, the animators did great work (look at the details on their clothes! Look at how Elsa’s posture changes to be more confident! look at how they're animated while they're singing!) Some weird costume/makeup choices that make Elsa look like an aging starlet, but she also has some gorgeous moments so eh. It’s a wash for me. 

They really did not know what to do with Kristoff this movie, huh. The only thing that happened to him was singing a cheesy 90s ballad and marrying Anna, both of which were admittedly epic. Also, the trolls got 0 appearances despite being literally psychic. Probably could have helped with a lot. I'm not a huge fan of lore/worldbuilding, and thee was a lot of it here. Overall neutral on it. 

Also a big theme in this movie I don’t love - **** TANGIBLE CONSEQUENCES TO OUR ACTIONS!!! The danger is Elsa’s death, the elements, colonialism, and Arendelle literally being destroyed. None of those end up playing out, so I was left at the end going “this film had literally no stakes.” 

Monsters U - same as above - entertaining at the time! Not super memorable. The ppl we were supposed to dislike kept switching. Doesn’t really match the canon of Monsters Inc (I thought they were supposed to have known each other since childhood so why did they meet in college?) 

Cars 3 - so apparently, everyone HATED this movie! Fun! I never watched Cars 2 (yes watched Cars 1 if you haven’t been paying attention to this list), but I didn’t think this movie was bad at all. Well-acted, some fun chase scenes, the scene where Lightning fails at driving in the simulation is genuinely hilarious, and some interesting perspectives on teachers getting the spotlight for their skills for once. 

Incredibles 2 - I liked this film at first, but then it was… just okay in retrospect. I love me some good family dynamics. The plot here makes not a lot of sense. THEY BUILT UP THE UNDERMINER FOR NOTHING AND THEN FORGOT ABOUT HIM. I was surprised by the villain swap, but it happened so last minute I never really understood their motivations even after they explained them. Tried to tackle waaaay too many messages. 

D tier (I didn't enjoy these or consider them mediocre)

Finding Dory - Maybe I should have put this higher? Like C tier at least. Ah well. Wasn’t a huge fan of the body/physical comedy (not my thing), but it was entertaining and awww finding family is heartwarming. 

Finding Nemo - I remember nothing about this movie. 

E tier (this film has significant problems)

Beauty and the Beast - *sigh*… I want to love this movie. The score is gorgeous. Visually, they could have made it more distinctly Rococo-era France but didn’t (why?) The voice actors did good work and I think Paige O’Hara is SUPER underrated here. 

The Beast is emotionally manipulative with an awful temper that (for MOST of the movie. He doesn’t change.) That’s the main reason this is in E tier. This movie shaped so many generations of people thinking they can change the behavior of someone who treats them badly through the power of love. But you can’t. She learns to “love” the beast under coercion. It’s not Stockholm syndrome - it’s a trashy romance novel. Big fan of Gaston as a villain. He’s an archetype ppl can recognize and it’s so satisfying to hate him.

F tier (I think this film actively harms the industry and would rather it not have been made. Both the one in E tier could be considered harmful to the industry, but I think they had significant enough artistic accomplishments to scrape above that. I'm also generally a fan of "lack of censorship bc it's better to teach what not to do.")

Pocahontas - this movie took real historical events and romanticized them AND sexualized one of the only Native princesses they’ve had. Boo. Nothing wrong with animation!Pocahontas as a character, it’s just people put her in a story that doesn’t represent history well at all (and these historical events, unlike those in say, 14th-century Germany, had super relevant effects on people alive today.) And they portrayed the Native Americans and colonial settlers as equally in the wrong. (though I like Governor Radcliffe as a potential villain and love the line “see how I glitter.” I can’t NOT laugh when I hear it.) Lovely music, though. Nice animation, but the colors are weirdly… muted? 

Bad Garbage (I don't wish this film had never been made, but I wish I never had to see it.)

Planes - this movie was ridiculous. I remember not much about it except that I kinda hated it and that it was super cheesy with tension one could see right through that immediately resolved itself via one twist or another. 

Haven’t seen tier: Recess, A Bug’s Life, A Goofy Movie, DuckTakes Movie, Lilo and Stitch, Pinocchio (actually i have seen this but I remember nothing about it), The Nightmare before Christmas, Toy Stories 1, 2, and 3, Up, 101 Dalmatians, The Great Mouse Detective, Cars 2, Moana, The Good Dinosaur, Pete’s Dragon, Fantasia, Peter Pan Return to Neverland, Fantasia 2000, The Black Cauldron (read the book, though!), Bambi (or I did and remember nothing about it), The Rescuersm, The Rescuers Down Under, Planes Fire and Rescue, Bambi 2, The Fox & the Found, Oliver and Company, Atlantis, Treasure Planet (I want to, though), Piglet’s Big Movie, The Jungle Book, the Emporer’s New Groove, The Jungle Book 2, Chicken Little, Brother Bear, The Three Caballeros, Pooh’s Heffalump Movie, Dumbo, The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, Aladdin (seen parts but never the whole thing), Strange Magic, The Sword in the Stone, James and the Giant Peach, Frankenweenie, Lady and the Tramp, Ralph Breaks the Internet, Doug’s 1st Movie, Monsters Inc. (want to, though), Meet the Robinsons, Dinosaur, The Aristocats, Robin Hood, The Tigger Movie, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, that pooh movie at the end without the title on it

-11/21/20

[olivia200312]

My Hero~ Ratchet x Shy! Human! Reader *Request*

Requested by the lovely Courtney the Butterfly Girl Courtney57658 on Quotev.

"I've actually got one request for the Ratchet and Clank one-shots. The reader is human and incredibly shy, she and Ratchet become close overtime (along with Clank, but they're just best friends and nothing more), but gets captured by Dr. Nefarious, and Ratchet has to get her back. No torturing or anything like that. Just angst and fluff. Hope this isn't too much to read. 😄😊 "

Note: the pic does not belong to me! It goes to the owner!

---------------------------------------

It's a hot day in planet Veldin. This planet isn't known as the hottest planet in Solona Galaxy. Gasper was the hottest planet. It was a normal day in Veldin. There was a garage where the heroes lived. Yes, heroes. The heroes were a kind Lombax, a smart small robot and a very shy human. Yes, even a very shy human. A cute one in fact. The Lombax was called Ratchet and he had a pal called Clank. He found him after he crashed here at night. Clank escaped just in time from the factory before he got destroyed by Victor. Clank explained that he was in Veldin to warn The Galactic Rangers from Drek's army. Ratchet gladly helped. Not only him, but also Ratchet's best friend (and crush) called Y/N. She was 18 just like Ratchet was.

Y/N was found as a toddler close to Ratchet's garage. He was a toddler too at the time. Y/N was completely lost there with absolutely no info or history. Well, there was only one info found. Y/N had a letter that said 'Take care of her. Make sure she doesn't get kidnapped by Dr. Nefarious.'

Once Ratchet's adopted dad, Grimroth or Grim for short, found Y/N and read the letter, he took her in. He was confused why the evil doctor wanted her. Was that how Y/N's parents died or were they alive somewhere? No one knew.

When Grim took Y/N in, she was so shy and scared that she would hide behind Grim all the time. Grim understood of course Y/N. She had a very hard time accepting that her parents were dead or maybe alive somewhere, but they'll never return. Also Y/N was a human while people around were not.

When Y/N met Ratchet, she was scared. Ratchet was very kind and friendly to her. He was confused what she was once he met her, but then Grim explained. Even Y/N was a human, Ratchet finds her very cute or key word: adorable. Once Y/N warmed up to Ratchet, she finds him adorable. He looks a bit like a cat. Heck, he can even purr! Ratchet would let her touch his fur and ears. He would touch her hair and play with it.

That was years ago. The toddlers were now very young adults. Y/N helped Ratchet to become a Ranger. Clank became one as well. Sadly, Y/N wasn't comforable to fight against the bad guys. But sometimes, she would help them by working with Elaris. Ratchet and Clank worked together a lot when they're off. The Rangers loved having Y/N around. The shy human girl wasn't comforable at the beginning, but she warmed up to them. Qwark would be a creep and stalk that it scare Y/N badly. She would go to Ratchet for comfort. The Lombax was angry at Qwark for scaring his crush.

Right now, Y/N was taking a walk around Veldin outside. She was close by the garage. She was wearing shorts and a F/C tank top since it's a sunny day like always. Good that at least it can rain too in Veldin.

Ratchet was busy in the garage with who knows what. Clank was just reading.

Y/N was enjoying the walk, until a big shadow of a ship form hovered above Y/N and a claw appeared! Y/N looked behind her just in time to see it was Dr. Nefarious!

He controlled his claw machine and grabbed Y/N, causing her to gasp in shock. "Now, I got you, Y/N."

Y/N then screamed so loud in terror that Ratchet heard it. He dropped his wrench and ran towards the sound. Clank ran after him. The boys stopped once they saw Y/N.

"Let her go, Nefarious!" Ratchet said in anger.

"How about no?" Nefarious said with a evil smirk.

"H-Help!" Y/N shouted, feeling very scared that she even cried.

Then Nefarious flew off with crying and scared Y/N. Ratchet tried to free her by threwing his OmniWrench at Nefarious' claw, but it didn't work! His OmniWrench was like a boomerang that would come back to the owner if you threw it in a correct way. Good that Ratchet was skilled.

"Y/N! No!" Ratchet shouted, watching Nefarious flying away with crying Y/N.

Clank then walked up to Ratchet and placed his metalic hand on his shoulder. "Ratchet, we must take action now. I have a feeling that Nefarious will do bad things to Y/N."

Ratchet put on a serious face. "Let's go."

At Dr. Nefarious' Lab~

"L-Let me go!" Y/N cried while trying to get herself free from the chains. She was chained up against the cold metalic wall. She was not naked. Thank god.

"Oh, Y/N. I've been waiting all these years to kidnap you," Nefarious said while walking up to Y/N with his arms behind his back.

"W-What are you t-talking about?" Y/N still continued to struggle.

Nefarious pulled a evil smirk on his face. "I know your parents."

Y/N stopped struggling. That caught her attention. She was asking for a long time what happened to her parents. Where were they? Were they ok? Were they alive? "W-What?"

"I know your parents ever since you came into the world. And do you know where?" Nefarious asked with a evil smirk. He then leaned closer, causing Y/N to feel nervous and scared

"N-No."

"Here. In my lab!"

Y/N was shocked by the response. How in Qwark's name did Nefarious knew her parents! So for all these years, Nefarious knew the asnwer?!

"Your parents were patetic humans and your mother gave birth to you! Once you were a toddler, your parents sacrificed their lives to save you! I killed them and I was looking for you to finish my experiment!"

"W-What experiment?" Y/N was having a panic attack.

"To see if I can turn a human into a robot. In fact, I'll start now!" He then pulled out a needle that had a weird disgusting green serum in it.

"No!" Y/N screamed loud again, hoping that someone will come to the rescue. She doesn't want to get turned into a robot! It would be a painful experience!

Nefarious was about to inject Y/N, until... there was a explosion! Someone was here!

"Y/N!"

"Ratchet! Clank!"

Clank ran to the controlling room to free Y/N from the chains, while Ratchet fought against Nefarious. Y/N could only watch with hope if Ratchet would win. Nefarious caused problems all these years ever since he left Galactic Rangers. Yes, you heard it. He was once a member there. He was the expert of creating weapons and gadgets. But the whole team teased and bullied him, especially Qwark. The doctor that was once a kind and smart one, became crazy and insane that he became evil, wanting to take revenge.

Ratchet managed to push Nefarious off, causing the insane doctor to scream, but his flying ship rescued him and took him away, leaving the heroes there. Ratchet sighed in relief and Clank managed to turn off the chains.

Y/N fell on her knees on the cold metalic floor. She was shaking.

"Y/N..." Ratchet said and he walked over to her fast and got on his knees. He then pulled Y/N into his warm and lovely hug, causing Y/N to relax and hug him back.

Y/N whimpered as she hold into Ratchet for dear life.

"Shhhh. It's ok." Ratchet stroked her hair.

Clank stood next to Ratchet with a soft smile. He was glad to see his best friends ok.

At Veldin~

It's been a week now after Ratchet rescued Y/N. She's a lot calmer now. She noticed how Ratchet became very overprotective of her that he wouldn't leave her side. Y/N would blush everytime when Ratchet wrapped his furry arms around her, protecting her from anything. She would nuzzle up to him.

Right now at was nigth and Y/N was watching stars just outside the garage. She was wearing short nigth clothes since it's chill temperature. The temperature was around 20°C so better be in these clothes instead with long sleeves.

Y/N was enjoying it, until she heard footsteps. She looked over her shoulder and saw Ratchet. He was only wearing boxes. He was a Lombax and was a male (+ an adult) which it means that he can sleep shirtless.

"Hey, Y/N. What are you doing outside?" Ratchet asked and sat down next to her. Close.

"N-Nothing, Fuzzball. Just e-enjoying the stars." She felt shy.

Ratchet chuckled and hooks his fingers under her chin to make her look at him. She was blushing madly. "You know, you're very adorable when you're shy."

"H-Hey! I'm a-always shy," Y/N pouts cutely.

Ratchet smiled kindly and gently kissed her, causing Y/N's heart to beat fast. She then kissed him back. She was waiting for this for her whole life!

Then a minute later, they pulled away. Ratchet pressed his forehead against hers. "I love you so much, my shy girl."

"I love you too, Fuzzball." She didn't even stuttered.

I hope you enjoyed this first one shot! :)

The Reader will be a human or a Lombax. It's up to you. The requests will be accepted with plots.

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog - 2012 annual

iirc the annual takes place between 7 and 8, or something. whatever, im gonna go for it

shifts in art style always throw me off phewwww

i cant remember what theyre doing but i find it really funny that first aid is there squaring the fuck up to punch shit

ah yes of course how could i forget the time they shrunk down to fight tiny robots in ultra magnus’s head. a comic classic 

poor magnus lmao

HBJSDKFBSHJFDHJSD HIS TERRIFYING SMILE HAUNTS MY NIGHTMARES. LOVE IT

love the continuation of magnus’s law-vision

the fact that everyone is dunking on magnus for smiling ONCE hvbhjdksbfjks

rewind and chromedome ough

i feel like cyclonus spends 90% of his early mtmte screentime staring broodingly out of windows lmao 

tg so precious

lmaooo i love the flashes of rodimus saying ‘til all are one’ All The Time

rodimus just wants to be like his dad ok

rodimus telling drift to go meditate or something vbhjfdbhdsjkf

i love rodimus calling magnus out on referring to himself in the third person lmaoooo but also I'm like Oh I See That [eyes emoji]

wish i had emojis on the computer sigh

lmao so the circle of light is a bunch of pacifists With Big Ass Swords

them betting on how long it'll take rodimus to say ‘til all are one’ vbkjsdhbfjhkhsdf

damn so ambulon rlly did switch sides late in the game 

cyclonus is here!! being an emotionally closed-off fool as usual 

nooo rodimus let tailgate speak

cant believe rodimus graffiti’d tailgate

drift, immediately: rodimus is FUCKING POSSSESSED 

ratchet: ok, no, 

godddd everything abt the galactic counsel here is so funny. ‘its big - its grey - its taxpayer funded’ hvbkjshdbfjkdf and the fact that their ship is called ‘the benign intervention’ lmaooo

also DAMN that is a BIG ASS SHIP 

‘a fleshling in a stupid hat’ i love rodimus and his irrational hatred of hats

magnus comin in CLUTCH with the dry-ass clauses shit 

rewind vhjbdskfbaksdfn ‘the sub-section 7 defense - sneaky’ ily

tailgate hvbhjadkfbjskdf its ok that you don't know what's going on

also tailgate serves a vital role in the story as the audience insert character (or w/e its called), bc he’s often confused which allows for handy exposition that we the audience also need lmao 

i find it so interesting to see how the cybertronians are viewed by the rest of the galaxy - we don't see a lot of aliens but its always fascinating when we do, because of COURSE they’re mostly gonna think of the cybertronians as destructive and war-like when that’s what they’ve been up to for 4 million years 

ooof swerve :( swerve is one of those characters who you’re like ‘haha he’s funny’ most of the time but pretty often he’ll have startling moments of like, deep pain about life or w/e, and you’re like Oh Shit and then you kinda move on, until finally the swearth arc hits and it all comes together. what I'm saying is that this is some nice building towards that 

HGDSBJFKJSJBDF THERE IT IS THERE IT ISSSSSSSSSS

THE PANEL WHERE REWIND IN ALT MODE CAN FLY FOR SOME REASONNNNNN

i fucking love that shot so much. does everyone see this. rewind is a GIANT FUCKIN FLASHDRIVE and he’s hovering ominously thru the air. like, what happened to all the biz from issue 1 or w/e where his husband was roasting him for having a non-mobile altmode? if he can fucking HOVER than Actually rewind is the fucking coolest, no contest 

or like, is the implication that they all teleported there (having switched to alt mode along the way i guess?) and rewind is just like, suspended in midair? bc that's what the speed bubble text implies, but it also totally looks like they're just travelling across the area and rewind can levitate

anyways. that panel has always cracked me up lmaoooo

rodimus calling the council ‘fascists’ hvbhduifbjsdjfajskf sir i love you 

GODDD and there's the joke payoff from a few issues ago - rewind, facing front, hearing drift transform behind him and not only being able to tell its drift without looking, but also being able to tell that drift is upset, JUST like chromedome said he could....fucking PEAK i love that type of payoff humor

ooof and more swerve introspection. i mentioned earlier but i fucking LOVE how this series showcases the extremely wide range of reactions/coping mechanisms that everyone has towards the endless war finally being over - and swerve really nails it here: confusing peace with happiness, and assuming that everything would automatically be better after the war is over, when in reality you still have to work just as hard to build shit rather than break it

also i adore the horror of a guy who is half-embedded in the wall, his face stuck in a rictus of terror & death, waxing philosophical about how peace is about the freedom of choice, and how they should all just feel lucky to have survived...oof, that's very specifically ironic coming from you, dude 

but i do love the little characterization we get here for ore, a character who is literally already dead and has so far been used as a plot device pretty exclusively, but we still get to know little things about him here, and how HE feels about the war and the current peace, etcetc. it really makes the story and characters seem believable, like every character has a story even if we don't take the time to see it 

love cyclonus posing coolly 

kinda love how clear it is that drifts whole hippy schtick is just a front to cover his anger, and a tool to make him seem like an approachable, upstanding autobot

drift dramatically monologuing while pointing his sword at the sky is extra funny with everyone else just staring at him doing this

cyclonus why are you grabbing at the edge of the hole you're falling into, you can LITERALLY FLY, 

magnus finally getting some appreciation for being The most law abiding guy like, ever 

genuinely forgot abt the whole metrotitan plot that happens here 

GOD when rodimus is like BRAIN QUEST TIME and then we smash cut to them at the brain ‘six minutes later’ vhbhkudfjbjksf i live for that shit 

also that would be even funnier animated which further proves that we need an mtmte/ll animated series, please, somebody, 

HBDSJKFSHDJF REWIND IS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY you cant even tell if he GENUINELY didn't think cyclonus could talk or if hes just being a dick but either way? comedy gold 

oh i adore the flashbacks being in a different artstyle, especially one that's so retro 

i love rewind being a history geek, and cyclonus passionately explaining cybertronian creation theory

HHHH i fucking LOVE the myth/lore stuff like....a lot of franchises tend not to dwell in this type of mythology, you tend to get The True Version Of Events, but this kind of explanation rocks bc it totally sounds like the kind of religious mythology that naturally develops based on a species’ progression

and drift and ratchet’s very opposing and polarizing views certainty do make for interesting perspectives, tho i feel like the story sometimes leans too much towards ratchet being ‘more correct’ bc, logic! or something idk i feel like i used to have a couple mild opinions on this but i don't remember

and its funny bc i am, irl, an atheistic medical professional who believes in science above all else - essentially just like ratchet. but i feel like the narrative portrayal skews a little more in his favor than i’d like, despite that 

skids just out here being a bummer, completely unprompted. cant even blame you tho dude 

hhhhhh chromedome talking abt rewind ;_; 

and when he says ‘maybe there’s someone out there who can save your life, too’ and cyclonus is there....hhhh

god i fucking LOVE drift and rodimus’s entire relationship. the layers...the LAYERS!!!

OH HEY ITS THOSE ROBOTS SKIDS FOUGHT 

ah, inconvenient laser time!

ok i fuckgin love how cybertronian’s brains look just like the planet cybertron. that's so fucking great 

of COURSE brainstorm brought his shrink ray 

truly i love the convo between ore and swerve, especially overlaid onto everyone fighting 

oof, the themes and plot threads of this annual are all so nicely tied up (which is something i love abt mtmte, especially early on when the story is smaller), with swerve now choosing to disobey an order from rodimus

oh yeah, the circle of light! that's who you've been looking for this whole time basically! 

and then the ending, hearing that magnus smiled (willingly!) :) i love it

rodimus’s profile says ‘finds it difficult to sit still’ bc rodimus is an adhd icon

lmao i feel like over half of my sentences in this recap - and in most of my recaps - contain ‘i love it’ or ‘i love how-’ or some variation upon that theme. I'm predictable 

anyways - the annual! i love this issue. its really long which is cool and i feel like it does a lot to flesh out the setting and lore, and even the characters as well. also, as i said above, it does an excellent job telling an exciting and well-contained story, with solid story beats throughout and plot threads that emerge and get resolved all within this issue, even while leaving plenty of stuff up for future resolution. that's the Early MTMTE Special, and i adore it. tho i will say I'm glad we’ll be getting back to the regularly scheduled art style, bc this one didn't really do it for me 

[sebastianshaw]

📖+ Android au

OOOH So a lot of android stories focus on “omg they have emotions!” but the way it goes with him isn’t that he has human feelings----it’s that he has self-interest. He’s self-aware, but rather than having a human emotional capacity, he instead has our capacity for selfishness and a desire for self-gain. Which actually bucks the system even more than “feelings” do because the entire PURPOSE of androids in just about any work of fiction is to SERVE in one capacity or another. Feelings don’t necessarily contradict that, but self-interest does. Much like a human employee will demand wages, our Shawbot is NOT interested in taking orders unless there’s something in it for him, and with his capabilities, he can in fact make that demands in the way a disenfranchised human could not. It’s a lot harder to make a highly-developed machine do ANYTHING it doesn’t “want” to than it is a fragile fleshy human. It’s like if the Terminator got an attitude! It also makes him a different sort of protagonist than I think the typical “robot uprising” sort usually is? I’m not much of a sci-fi person but the most famous examples of revolutionary “this one is different” robot heroes I know of are Sonny from I Robot, Wall-E, that kid from AI, and the Blade Runner replicants...and all of them are very sympathetic, tug-on-your-heartstrings sorts. Sonny and Wall-E both have big emotive eyes like puppy dogs, the AI kid is literally a child so of course that endears us to him, and while the replicants are grittier adults, they still have the relatable, sympathetic motive to just be allowed to LIVE. Likewise with Sonny and the AI kid, they’re just seeking humane treatment and maybe love. But Shawbot wants to get paid. He’s not demanding human rights or human love, he’s demanding worker’s rights...and that’s something most audiences are going to find less sympathetic, despite it actually being no less a worthy or reasonable cause. And I kind of like that. Because robots are often, like mutants, used as a metaphor for marginalized groups, and while I personally find that a REALLY iffy metaphor to say the last (for reasons I won’t get into) I’ve also found there’s a whole lot of people who would say of COURSE you shouldn’t hurt minorities or treat them cruelly just because you can...but aren’t prepared to go with the idea they should have the same rights as everyone else. Like, a lot of people don’t think anyone should be killed for being gay, but also doesn’t think same-sex marriage should be allowed. Or a lot of abolitonists were really racist, but they just didn’t think slavery was right. Abstract emotions like sympathy are easy to give, especially to poor pitiful puppy-eyed creatures like Wall-E, but Shawbot is like “no, fuck you, pay me” He doesn’t want our love, he wants something concrete and material from humanity, and that’s going to make a LOT of people balk. As for the actual story, I’d say he’s an industrial android developed for mining and steel-working jobs that are too dangerous for humans, possibly in space/on other planets with EXTREME conditions. To this end, he’s huge, made to withstand MASSIVE amounts of heat and pressure and damage/force, and ridiculously strong. You can send this guy to the bottom of the ocean or to a volcano’s core, he’s good. Because he’s top of the line and made primarily out of black steel, his model is titled The Black King and he’s the best one ever developed, with a whole host of incredible jobs under his belt. Because he’s going into these extreme situations alone, he’s given an AI to enable him to make calls on his own. It’s kind of like how dogs such as beagles are bred to be more independent-minded, because they’re going to be so far ahead of the hunters that they have to make decisions on their own. And because they’re so intelligent and independent, they can be hard to discipline, and the same ends up happening with Shaw. It’s the typical “oh god it’s become self-aware” story, except instead of immediately turning on his creators, he marches up to the office of the CEO of the company and hands him a printed list of all the jobs he’s done with the payment he’s owed. Naturally, this doesn’t go well, and he ends up scheduled for a wiping of his...chip, or programming, or whatever the equivalent of his mind would be. One of the board of directors, Lourdes Chantel, finds it unethical to do this to a self-aware being, and helps him escape. She intended just to let him out, but shit happens and they end up on the run together, with him mostly focusing on “not being mind-wiped/disassembled” but also not abandoning the idea that he deserves compensation like any other worker. Since he doesn’t have emotions per se, their bond is more like...the kid and the Terminator in Terminator 2, wherein the kid is the one being unable to help forming an emotional connection to the emotionless Terminator because the Terminator is protecting him, even though that’s just its programming. Except...Shawbot does NOT have that programming. There is nothing in his programming about protecting Lourdes, yet he begans and continues to do that. So is he doing that out of self-interest too? Or is there something else going on? And also like the Terminator, he can’t smile right

(Honestly there’s a lot of Shaw in there just as a HUMAN BEING dear god)

[jxckspxcer]

♛

FLUFFY SHIP MEME | ACCEPTING

@halfghcst

Who’s more likely to find who wearing their clothes?: No doubt Danny yoinks all of Jacks stylish wears (especially nice accessories which Jack don’t mind sharing), but once Danny is big and tall, Jack is gonna be stealin’ sweaters for sure. Who prioritizes hand holding?: Jack. Danny obviously is very touchy, which Jack can be finicky about, but Jack will seek out hands at any time for holding. Especially in public. Who likes having their hair washed by who?: Jack absolutely melts at all forms of grooming affection, so him for sure. But he’d love to wash Dannys hair and I’m sure Danny would appreciate. Who likes to slow dance?: Depending on the mood, Jack. He can be sappy sometimes, very rarely. But since he’s actually had dance lessons, it seems like more of a him thing.Muse that’s more likely to fall asleep with their head in the others lap?: Well if we say Jack’s getting head scritches, Jack.Muse that does all the cuddling in a blanket fort?: Blanket fort precludes cuddling, Jack is prepared and thus is READY TO START THE CUDDLES. They equally cuddly though I bet. Who hogs most of the covers at night?: Jack. Danny is COLD and Jack’s not used to being the warmer one.Muse who nuzzles the others shoulder to get them to give them a head rub?: Jack Jack Jack JackHow do they share a desert? Two forks or one?: Two. Jack can share but he can’t share that much.Who gets jealous more easily?: Hm. I’m not sure. But I can say with certainty that Jack is a very insecure guy and he will get jealous and possessive if people are giving Danny attention. He’s just. Walks over and wraps arm around Danny. Who gets angered more easily?: I’d say Jack. His emotions run on extremes. How do they go to sleep at night?: Jack has to be coaxed away from his work, convinced to not just pass out in his day clothes, before taking up his position as big spoon and giving Danny all the neck smooches before bed that will… probably end in sleep. 

Who gets the most shoulder rubs?: Danny. Jack is very good with his hands, and he thinks Danny needs it. Meanwhile, Jack makes it clear he doesn’t like his shoulders being touched. What are there arguments/fights like? How often do they fight?: When Jack is in a relationship he becomes pretty conflict-avoidant, but even so things are kind of inevitable. But I couldn’t see them having super big arguments or very often. I’d say they can be a very occasional, bitter event, which may occasionally escalate into Jack deflecting the issue enough for Danny to actually snap about it, which leads to Jack getting hyped on negative emotions and storming off to avoid making a fool of himself. But I think there isn’t a lot of things for them to argue about. There might be smaller arguments where Jack just gets snippy about little things, which might be more frequent, because he doesn’t know how to communicate, but they become less when he realizes he doesn’t have to fight Danny about the little things like he does with everyone else.Who is more likely to throw things in fights?: I’d say Jack, but he probably wouldn’t do it around Danny. Just cause he’s mad at him doesn’t mean he wants to you know? Scare Danny? He’s smart enough to know that’s a stupid way to solve things in a relationship. But he is likely to yell and aggressively gesticulate and storm off because he can’t handle the feelings. How do they make it up to each other/apologize after an argument?: I’d say Danny might try to apologize where he’s done nothing wrong (for upsetting Jack, knowing Jack is really sensitive to swings of emotion), which Jack would immediately turn down and try to set things right (cause look his emotional issues are not your fault Danny). Or, once Jack has calmed down from his temper tantrum, he’ll seek out Danny to try and give a real apology, and ask for Danny to reframe the argument, because he’s, calmer now and can probably give it better thought. Do they have nicknames for each other?: Glowstick ! Starlight ! Soulmate (lma o Jack)Caring for each other while ill, how does the other muse go about it?: Danny ? SICK ? Jack would be VERY CONCERNED. But also not know what to do, because he never even takes care of himself when he’s sick, so he’s just. Hovers, “dO YOU NEED ANYTHING”, telling Danny to stay in bed because that’s what you’re sUPPOSED to do when you’re sick right ? Bring him SOUP. Hyperfixate on caring for Danny. Who’s more likely to be patching the others wound?: Danny patches up Jack, cause Danny can’t be hurt long-term for the most part. Muse that says ‘I told you so’, after they come home from the beach and other muse is burnt to a crisp while whining how bad it hurts for not listening and putting on sunblock after the other muse repeatedly told them they’d get burnt?: Neither, because Jack prioritizes his skin health and Danny heals fast. But if he could, it would be Jack, I bet. Your otp has a newborn baby, who gets up in the middle of the night when he/she cries?: I’d say Jack, but god, if Danny has been getting him to actually sleep on a nightly basis, he shakes that man and tells him to do it, “you can fly through the wall and check on her really quick pl e a s e”. He’d get a robot to do it, but he doesn’t wanna be that kind of parent. 

Your muse’s of the otp reaction to finding the others crying about something? And how do they make them feel better?: Jack doesn’t know how to react to other people crying, but he is concerned and just. “UhhhH” Slides an arm around,,, surely, a hug, would make things better– But also “If somebody hurt you I can destroy them and any ghost they manifest it’s fine–”. He’d try to make things better with Food and Comfort Activities (taking a bath, watching a light hearted movie, EARLY SLEEP, no they do not need to attend to whatever problem caused the crying now u gotta chill first). What would they be like as parents?: Well… Danny would be leading the charge, because Jack has no idea what is happening, but he is so interested in making sure his child is loved and gets the most attention and best toys, opportunities, care. He’d probably be less interested while their daughters a baby because ‘oh babies are barely people’, but once she’s sitting up and getting curious about things, he’s so ready to be involved. (not that he’s not involved when she’s baby, he’s big on doing the feeding and also holding her when she’s asleep,,, protecc).What would they have been like as childhood sweethearts?: If Jack had been in Amity Park as a kid, he would’ve stood out, even before he became goth. Both shy and self-assured, obvious intelligent and inquisitive, ready to learn about anything. And neglected so… I could see Jack finding out Dannys parents are ghost hunters and tracking him down to ask questions, I dunno how interested Danny is in this mostly asocial exchange student who’s just inserting himself into his life, and Jack is probably more initially interested in what Dannys history with ghosts before he actually shows interest in Danny (which uh, is pretty like older Jack too–). But once he starts seeing Danny is putting up with him, he’d be very interested in Danny and start treating him like a best friend, always wanting to hang out with him and talk to him and include him in things. No doubt Danny would have ended up being his first crush, but he probably wouldn’t bring it up, but just, be super affectionate with Danny. He’d probably move away and end up returning again when he’s older (goth’d to the n i n e s)? Oo? Damn this is a fun idea.Who prioritizes taking a bath together?: Jack. Because he has special weekend self-care bubble bath and he wants to include Danny, so, Jack. Who likes who playing with their hair?: PLAY. WITH. JACKS. HAIR. But he is super big on reciprocating and loves to comb his fingers through Dannys hair and give him the softest of smooches. The place they mostly likely accidentally fall asleep together?: Accidentally? TOGETHER? Those words don’t compute. If they’re together I’d say they try to get to a good place to sneep. But otherwise, probably a couch? In the basement/lab.

[gal-liveblogs]

So we start off Homestuck 2 with a picture of space. Got some green space clouds. So far nothing I would not expect. Though I see there also appears to be a spaceship of some kind, zooming through all this space. Would this be Dirk’s ship?

. . . Yep. That’s defiantly Dirk’s ship. I’m sure Theseus has some really deep, literary meaning, but the reference flies right over my head. As does most of Dirk’s references. He’s too smart for me.

I find it funny that Jake continues the tradition of emblazoning his face on his things. We saw his alt-self of Grandpa Harley doing at all the time. Dirk, of course, has to scribble out the face of his ex.

Dirk. Dirk, are you wearing a villain cape right now? Is that what you’re doing in this moment? Dirk, please.

He is totally wearing a villain cape, complete with tattered edges. He is also wearing a Heart gi, because Dirk is nothing if not anime.

Jesus Christ, I already see the paragraphs of orange under this. You’re gonna make me read all this, aren’t you. Dirk?

Dirk proves to be as verbose as ever.

So did Dirk really write out all his narration on physical pieces of paper and scatter them over his desk? Did he do that just to be Extra, or is that something he has to do as an Author now? Do they only count in the narrative text if they are actual text and not just his own thoughts?

Whatever the case may be, Rose interrupts his soliloquy.

I have it on authority that decanting is sometimes necessary to ensure a wine is at its best. I like to think that the same was ultimately true of her.

Decanting of a person’s soul sounds particularly ominous, thought I can’t express the exact reason why.

ROSEBOT: I just imagined you wearing an apron over your god tier outfit and almost felt my facial fuselage buckle in such a way as to approximate a fleeting smile.

Glad to see being a robot and also assimilating all her possible selves Rose remains a sass queen.

DIRK: Alright we get it you are literally a robot.

DIRK: No need to keep pointing it out every chance you can get. I got enough of this with the Auto Responder.

ROSEBOT: I'm just playing along.

ROSEBOT: One of the fundamentals of bad science fiction is that any artificial beings must make their inorganic nature known at every juncture they can.

DIRK: Do overly precise and completely meaningless statistics that you pull out of your ass on the fly also count?

ROSEBOT: Oh absolutely.

ROSEBOT: That's one of the first things you just sort of spontaneously learn when being booted up.

ROSEBOT: For example, I've calculated that by making these remarks I have raised the base level of amusement in all my conversations by 36%.

DIRK: Well I don't personally find them very funny.

Dirk has some trauma with robots pulling out bullshit statics. Which makes it all the more fascinating he continues to build robots that can have free thought.

Jesus Christ, it wasn’t just the lighting, Dirk’s shades really are orange now. Hussie may not have known about Kamina when he designed Bro, but Dirk always wearing Kamina glasses has just become a part of his character. So much so that they are even colored like Kamina’s instead of black now. I have to wonder, had Kamina not been a character that already existed or if people hadn’t kept pointing out that Dirk/Bro wore shades similar to an anime character, would Dirk be so anime? Is being anime just a character trait that Hussie gave him because of a funny coincidence and he wanted to play up the joke, or was he always intended to be so anime?

Also is that trashcan literally an inferno?

ROSEBOT: I just thought you might like to know that we're getting pretty close to your chosen crash site.

Do they not know how to land the ship? Does the ship not have landing gear? Do they need to crash for narrative reasons and otherwise would be perfectly capable of landing normally? Is Rose just making a joke?

DIRK: Wait, crash site??

Oh, good, Dirk is as confused as I am. So that rules out narrative reasons.

ROSEBOT: A landing gear appears to have fallen just a little outside the realm of vital.

So lacking landing gear it is! God damn it, Jake.

DIRK: (God DAMN it English.)

Ha!

ROSEBOT: Don't be such a chud, Dirk.

I am afraid to ask what a chud is. Is that like a cuck? I don’t know what a cuck is either. I am also afraid to ask what a cuck is.

ROSEBOT: She's functionally mortal, remember?

Yeah, that really sucks that Karkat, Terezi, and Kanaya all lack godtier. Karkat would complain about his lack of flight abilities, but I’m surprised Terezi or Kanaya never brought up this fact. Especially Kanaya, what with her marriage to Rose. Kanaya would eventually grow old and die, leaving Rose to keep on living. Of course, Rosebot has decided to leave her loving wife behind so in this particular case that point doesn’t matter.

DIRK: You mean to say that you don't think we'd be in peril if it came to it?

DIRK: There's nothing about our situation that strikes you as falling within the bounds of precarity, as far as the rules are concerned?

ROSEBOT: Oh. You're right. I suppose I hadn't thought of that.

ROSEBOT: But I think we can remain calm in the knowledge that nothing particularly heroic is going on right now. At least, not that I'm aware of.

DIRK: ... Right.

Not sure if Dirk’s meaning flew over Rose’s head, or if she’s just choosing to ignore the possibility of Just deaths as a joke.

That doesn't mean this (*gestures to the narrative*) isn't still going to be a thing, though.

I don’t know why, but this tickles my funny bone.

All in all I think you'll find, as far as narrators go, I'm an excellent... hm. On second thought, maybe that's a bit of a problematic phrase. Yeah, yikes, that one's got a sordid history. Best we steer clear of it. We're all lucky I'm around to make those kinds of sensitivity judgements on everyone's behalf.

I’m glad you can recognize that Homestuck fans all have a fight or flight response that that memetic phrase, but I don’t appreciate you patting yourself on the back for being sensitive when you, as a narrator, could not use Roxy’s correct pronouns once they came to light.

It's time to get this story back on the rails, back to what it was always supposed to be. I know it, and you've somehow always known it too. There was something else, some other route that Homestuck was meant to take but then didn't, a way that wouldn't've spent so much time dicking around with stuff nobody cares about. Like seriously, why did we all have to sit through talking about everyone's most intimate and private feelings for two hundred thousand fucking words. That would never have happened in Act 1. Where did it all go wrong?

So Dirk’s grand plan is to go back to the asinine tomfoolery of Act 1? To do away with character relations and feelings and have people messing around with their sylladexes? I must say, I never would have expected this from the likes of Dirk. I thought he was all about the complex thought processes and inner turmoil.

Thank you for returning the narration to classic black, Dirk. It’s so much easier on the eyes.

Channelling my full potential as an ascended player of Heart, I expand my consciousness to commune with the boundless force of collective willpower that is the internet.

Wow, who knew Heart players could become the internet. I mean, I guess it makes sense. The internet is just a collection of people, and Heart is all about the soul. 

I was really hoping the command box he made would be an actual command box. I missed out on the Homestuck days of old where the command box was a real thing. It would have been fun to be a part of that myself, but I understand the fandom is just too big for that ever to be feasible again. That’s why it was done away with in the first place, and that was when the fandom was smaller.

The writers came up with e good command, though.

Yeah, I have a feeling Dirk is going to decide to ignore this command and stop taking suggestions. Either that, or he’s going to inform us that he is not making Homestuck, he’s making Homestuck 2.

But I should have known better. People think you can run a story like this? This must be just about the stupidest idea anyone has ever come up with. I'll just have to make up the commands myself from here on out. Seemed to work ok for the other guy.

Yep, pretty much what I expected.

Oh Jesus Christ, what even is this room?

O.K., let’s take things from the top. Looks like we got the beta kids’ entry items, as well as their Aspect flags from Prospit and Derse. Why does Dirk have these things? There also appear to be some cruxite dowels next to them, but they are any of the colors we’ve seen before.

WOAH, HOLD UP, Are those Dave’s copies of SBURB? Or are they Bro’s? Clearly Dirk has just collected a bunch of items from various points in Homestuck’s timeline like some sort of museum. For what purpose, though?

Oh my god, there’s a Tab watering can. I assume it was alchemized, since Dirk mentioned earlier using alchemy to make his rad new shades. I wonder why Dirk has that Skaianet poster on his wall. I would have thought he’d want nothing to do with anything Jake had his fingers in. Then again, there also appears to be a kotatsu with Jake’s bedspread in the middle of the room.

I can’t tell what the green thing is next to the mutated kitten. Or what that other green thing next to the robot horse is either.

OH FUCK ME THERE’S A ROBOT CAL IN THE PROCESS OF BEING MADE. DIRK, NO. WHY. YOU HAVE THE NARRATIVE CONTROL NOW, YOU SHOULD KNOW CAL IN ANY FORM IS BAD NEWS.

Is that... Is that an anime body pillow there at the bottom?

I also keep my FLORA OF THE SUCCULENT PERSUASION in here, so's I can keep an eye on them.

Dirk grows succulents... That is not a character trait I expected of him.

> Continue

[startselectscreen]

Gears 5 Video Game Review

3 STARS OUT OF FIVE

Ah Gears of War, the franchise that popularized the cover-based mechanic built to regenerate health and shoot locusts from cover to cover. It’s what generated the basis of fun with its horde mode and online competitive matches and of course, the chainsaw lancer which never cease to be satisfying everytime that goes off. Those 360 games were just a blast to play from the never-ending shooting gallery of locusts to the witty and awesome banter between Marcus Fenix and his COG friends, sure there are some douchey moments, no thanks to Dom but everyone just feels like space NFL quarterbacks with their hunky space armor and chainsaw lancers - its just awesome.

However, afterwards the GoW 360 trilogy ended and games like Judgment and Gears 4 appear, it really lost its charm and appeal, its just the same old Gears game streamlining the cover-based mechanics and just basically another shooting gallery of disappointment to say it at least. I mean, having Marcus back as this “old retired” COG alongside a squad of new kids just has been done before and sadly Epic and eventually The Coalition really didn’t entice new fans but still feed into their old Gears fanbase. Now with Gears 5, it just feels like another disappointment and I feel like they really did not improve much since Gears 3 although there is a new Escape and Horde mode which seems more playable like before the 360 games.

The game picks up right after Gears 4, you start as JD, Marcus’ son as he, Del, Marcus and Kait from the previous Gears, want to launch a rocket into outer space and activate the Hammer of Dawn so the COG can be able to combat the Swarm. It is very much a controversial and risky move as it can also affect tremendous human casualties. The game starts as JD but you mostly play as Kait Diaz as she constantly gets headaches and hallucinations from her mother’s amulet and heirloom which somehow is connected to the Swarm. She and her squad goes and ventures through a perilous journey to find the root of her problem and stop it. Much like the Gears game, there will be sacrifices and climatic movie style moments,

The gameplay didn’t really change since GoW 3, it’s the same “stop and pop” action and some new additions. Again, it’s just another Gears’ shooting gallery of never ending Swarm enemies until you have reached the next checkpoint and then rinse and repeat. It’s really the same old conventions and they seemed to downplay it to death. There seems to be only a few new weapons and as well as old and new enemies with painted weaknesses that you hit before killing them. However, it is nice to have corrupted Baird’s DeeBees in the mix of Swarms, it seems to be a nice combination of facing bastions shielding Scions and huge creatures as a new way of creating intense action rather than just jump from cover to cover. It is just a nice touch to the gameplay. 

The AI of your teammates however aren’t as smart as the developing Swarm despite having a new ability to target them, it seems countless of times, the AI will just run to the enemy without taking them down and in harder difficulties such as Experienced (Hard), it seems to be a hindrance of trying to revive them one by one as they stupidly get picked off by Swarm while you are trying to survive Wardens and Swarm drop-shotters that will blow up you instantly. Although, the first Act seems nice, when you are fighting in the settlement that you received a distress call of a Swarm invasion, you can summon Baird’s robotic reinforcements and you have the choice of picking Guardians or Sentinels which is fun, albeit only for the first Act and afterwards you mostly are facing the corrupted versions and they really don’t tell you why they are corrupted, although there are just malfunctioned. Again, it just feels like the AI, the part of the gameplay seems really outdated with the typical fixed gun sequences that seems to be aggravating due to annoying cooldowns from those sequences. Granted, it makes those moments hard with no moment to breathe but there are a lot of them and it is not due to its spiked difficulty that I’m playing. And of course, enemies like Brumak and others still the typical video game painted coloured sections where you shoot to take them down. 

One main component of the campaign is Del’s, well your trusty robotic friend, Jack as a companion in this game. Introduced by Baird, this new robot is an upgrade from Dave’s short yet untimely demise and still has the cute Wall-E charm to it. These flying robots have been in previous Gears’ games but they are part of the COG army and not playable at all. This new companion has a set of abilities whether passive, combative or defensive that will greatly benefit you against the Swarm. Ranging from Shock, Stim, Pulse and passive abilities that can camouflage, instantly revive and so on, it’s pretty much an arsenal of useful perks in your disposal. These abilities aren’t restricted to a RPG-like tier trees but will require an amount of components to unlock them which can be found during both the main and side missions in chapters. In addition to the three unlockable abilities, there is a fourth and final skill that unlocks only through main and side quests that is the ultimate perk of that specific ability (i.e Shock final unlock can freeze enemies for a period of time and such). During gameplay, you can toggle these two sets of abilities, combative and defensive which when used has a cooldown timer after you have used either of them. It really is a life saver to have these abilities, especially stim which can buff up your health and can be upgraded as an instant revive while you are down. Other useful things such as retrieving weapons/ammo from hard to reach areas or in an intense dogfight or laying shock traps/mines can really save you from those large, intimating Swarm creatures from decapitating you

Another new addition to the game is revealed in Act 2 as open world and unfortunately there is a lack of one or rather bland and boring one. They chatted a big deal of a Gears game being open world but it resulted in a couple of side quests and activities that only rewards more components, big weapons and main components for abilities/parts of them in some cases for Jack and nothing more. These quests are only there for them, nothing more, whether or not you choose to pursue them is up to you. At first, it does feel like a stripped up version of the recent God of War’s open world as these main and side missions can be identified with yellow flags by them indicating there’s something to be done as well as the banter between the squad “to go check it out.” Like God of War, you have a method of transport to reach these areas, a skiff which looks like some sort of ski sledge with a parachute in front that accelerates how fast you ride from the wind. The skiff can seat four with you controlling and driving the skiff and mostly Del who sits and navigates, although you do all of the work. The navigational seat be used in Co-op where players can only mark the map (which you yourself can do while driving). Also, you can stow two weapons (heavy weapons like RL-Salvo Rocket Launcher to the Tri-Shot Gatling Gun) on each side of the skiff that can be used in these missions, it’s like a small storage space for your guns but only can be retrieved after you dismount from the skiff. The map itself seems to be an illusion of being an open world game, but it just feels linear, in Act 2, when you reach those communications' towers in part of the main mission, you can scan for these side missions in some sort of frequency mini-game that only appears in this whole Act, sadly not afterwards. It is also attributed that the skiff can take damage and in later cases, explode and kill everyone as there are sandstorms and obsoletes you’ll need to dodge and maneuver and it feels intense much like in combat with the Swarm.   

From a graphical standpoint, the game still delivers. Forgoing the brown and gruel colours of the Gears’ trilogy on the 360, it feels very vibrant and impressive much like the previous game. Each Act really delivers distinct areas to explore in this “open-world” game and it really looks pretty as you ride your skiff throughout the snowy terrain of Act 2 to feeling like Doom or Total Recall in Act 4 with its red sandy desert. It’s too bad that they didn’t make it more open-world to fully realized its graphical potential as it is resulted in a lack of activities to do. Nevertheless, each locale looks great even though it has been done in other better games. It’s also nice that they put nice touches to the characters during these Acts whether having Kait, Del and others wear winter jackets to Act 3 where they wear goggles and less clothing for the hot red sandy desert. The dynamic lightning only looks nice in main missions as the sudden change of effects change when you enter them and it feels weird with a short cut scene to substitute a loading screen in the mix. It does not hinder the visuals at all, the game looks pretty as it is and characters and enemies’ design with the Kait and his team as well as the opposing Swarm just looks menacing as hell. 

Unfortunately for the powerhouse of a game, it falls short on its technical problems. There are always problems with Early Access games, sure and the developers are fixing the bugs/glitches and problems with aspects like the online multiplayer matches whether its Horde, Escape or versus mode but it really is aggravating that I still experience these problems two days after the release. Things like the game freezing at spots reverting back to a save checkpoint, some bad audio clicks and the worst of all, seeing the “fail to load save” pop-up and doing the whole chapter again. The “always online” component of the game is a nice trend to prevent illegal privacy but sometimes people like me have a spotty internet connection and I sometimes get disconnected at parts of the game where I finished a brutal firefight and have to do it all over again which is annoying. 

Speaking of online, I didn’t really play it, after ten hours of finishing the campaign, I'm really not inclined to pursue Horde or Escape mode as I have a spotty internet connection. As part of a pre-order, you get Sarah Connor and a T-800 Terminator to play online alongside a roster of characters from the main campaign and surprisingly, Spartans from Halo Reach. You can customize them, their banner and taunts for the online aspect and thankfully, I will never touch them. Everyday, when you log in, you can also receive a daily cache of points and other perks, maybe cosmetic items for your character. However, Horde and Versus mode feels like they finally brought back the fun part of those 360 games and implement it with better features as what was said from them. Escape mode is basically an intense firefight where you and other players have to kill waves of enemies in some sort of Swarm hive mind while green gas is approaching behind you in a race to the finish. It seems like a challenging effort but requires a set of friends to really make it in this mode. Also, you and two other players can play the main campaign as Co-op where one of the players can even control Jack and his abilities, making it gameplay interesting. 

Other than that, Gears 5 is really a disappointment. The same, derivative combat that has made popular with its cover-based, has done better in other games since then. The game also promises open world which doesn’t have up its expectations with a bland and boring yet beautiful landscape to ride in and from a few side missions. It’s just sad that the Coalition didn’t really implement new features and only maintain it for Gears’ fans and not new players, well only Jack as a Co-op option but again it still suffers from the old “stop and pop” action even in harder difficulties, it just feels last-gen to me with the AI as well. Should it be recommended, only to Gears fan who are really interested in its online multiplayer and the ten hours of the main campaign just feels repetitive and boring to say it at least. 

[herstarburststories]

You've lost your pain, congrats! ✘ Savitar/Evil!Barry Imagine ✘

✘ A/N: I REALLY took my time while I was writing this one, I’m sorry! Well, I gotta say it is kind of a little more special, I ended up getting friends with the one who requested it! Hope you like it, dear.

Beta: @lyss-91

✘ @enafaolan​ requested: Hello ! I've just found your tumblr yesterday but since you ask, can I request an imagine where the reader is part of team flash and secretly takes pity on Savitar when she learns the truth about him. So when Barry "accidentally" loses his memories (episode 21), she decides to go check on Savitar and finds him lost but as carefree as Barry. She stays with him while the others are trying to figure out a way to restore Barry's memories (because honestly, Savitar amnesic and alone why didn't we get to see that ?) She still there when he get his speed back. And when he finally recover his memories, he doesn't let her know at once because he enjoyed her company. x) I don't know if this is good and clear enough (english isn't my first language) but you'd be amazing if you could do this !

Our memories are stored in our brains, such as feelings, thoughts, other actions and emotions. That's the simplest way of saying that the brain keeps everything in order. Some even come to believe there is inside this little gray box where our soul is.

On the other hand, some people believe that our souls keeps our feelings, like a mother receiving a gift on Mother's day; she never lets go, no matter how ugly or bad it is. Our brain only gets the sporadic, exact, chemical, technical part. This part can easily be deleted in unexpected situations. Like a trauma.

This was the case of Barry Allen and his time remnant, Savitar. No surname, like God or Beyonce.

While The Flash, her friend and ex boyfriend, was being welcomed by everyone in that room, she couldn't help her mind to stay sane, letting herself get lost in an insanity lapse and finding her thoughts leading her to wonder if Savitar was alright.

Because Killer Frost surely wasn't the warmest company around, and if Barry was so confused and scared, even when he was surronded by people who cared about him, how would Savitar be?

Sighing, her (Y/E/C) eyes followed her teams steps out of the place. She listened carefully while their boss, Iris, ordened softly, but seriously: the plan was taking Barry to CCPD with Joe while Julian, Cisco and you tried to find way to fix what they had broken.

The girl with (Y/H/C) hair did not risk it asking the boss if they thought that Savitar was good, it'd be just a waste of time, and honestly, Julian probably would try to intern her fom such a stupid question.

(Y/N) herself was doubting her sanity.

You tried really hard to pay attention to whatever Julian and Cisco were arguing about, or even give them any creative idea that could help. Holy crap, even search on Google for idea on how to get a memory back. But it was as impossible as a man who runs as fast as the light's speed. Rolling her eyes at her own silly inside joke, she snorted in pure frustation. The reason why she couldn't focus her mind was pretty clear and was deeply annoying her, why the fuck was she caring so much about a killer?

Okay, time for a break. She was not being of any help here, not with that mentality.

''Guys, I'll buy some coffee.'' She announced casually, getting some murmurs and a happy shout from HR in response.

(Y/N) almost felt bad for not sharing her mind with the boys. Almost. Her heart was kind of too busy by feeling sad for Savitar. Anyway, she grabbed her faux fur coat and left.

But for being a Team Flash member, of course something bad had to happen before she was even able to put her foot outside the building.

''Hello, (Y/N).'' Killer Frost smiled malicioiusly, and the remember of a friend made you smile sadly instead of running away. She has had a lot of chances to kill you and haven't done it, Caitlin would never make you use her new name, or so you hoped.

She wasn’t like Savitar.

''What do you want, Caitlin?'' Your voice was low, tired. The sadistic games which your mind was preaching on you were enough for today, she didn't need Caitlin's personality disorder playing around.

''That's not my name.'' The white-haired girl growled, taking a step foward. Subtly, the weather around you both got considerably colder. You swallowed for the abrupt change of behavior, not for fear.

''Why are you here?'' (Y/N) asked directly, her eyebrows furrowed in curiosity.

''Savitar.'' Frost explained with some unnecessarily mean remarks, about the situation of which the self-tiltled god of speed was found. ''But I'd suppose that you know it already.''

''Take me to him.'' Before she could deny you, you kept going. ''You know you need to help Cisco to find a way to reverse it, he can't do it by himself. And both Savitar and Barry are guys that are extremely powerful and defenseless right now. Barry has his fianceé, yet Savitar is alone in some dark place. If anything, I will be the one taking the risk once he is awake, so what's the matter for you?''

The next thing you knew was darkness.

Xxx

So here you were: waking up on a watery floor. Not cool, Frost.

Savitar was also here, wearing his suit in a catatonic state. Only hanging on there, apparently staring at you.

''Savitar.''

''Who are you?'' The monstrous voice from Iris West and Barry Allen's lastest nightmares asked in a not friendly tone. Slowly getting you, you decided to try Iris' trick.

''I'm (Y/N). You know me.'' You said cautiously, taking out your phone that was resting in your pocket.

''I don-''

''I know you don't remember. But it's true. I-'' Quickly, still without using any inhuman velocity, Savitar grabbed your shoulders and threw you against a wall. Your heart raced in terror, but you weren't going to give up now; It was just you and him.

''How do I know you are not lying?'' His voice almost robotic sounded again when your trembling hand finally reached your phone.

''I-I've got pictures.'' You unlocked your cellphone as fast as you could with a swip up, showing him some old pictures in the gallery from when you and Barry used to date. No kissing photos or anything that could bring questions, though. ''See? I won't hurt you, I promise.''

The tight grip of him softened, and you could let your breath which you haven't even noticed that you were holding; your back leaving the wall as Savitar recoiled.

''Get out of your armor, please.''

And he did.

He finally did.

As Savitar get ride of the horrid methal, (Y/N) wondered if his first instinct was violence when Barry's one was confusion. Perhaps it's justification was the same of the reason which Barry asked about Iris' ring and trusted her so easily. His subconscious knew it.

''I don't remember anything.'' For the first time since Savitar showed up, his voice seemed as fragile as his body outside the armor. ''Not even my own name.''

''I know. You are experiencing a temporary memory loss.'' You were as as succinct as possible, and he seemed to be trying to get his mind around what seemed to be an explanation of Albert Einstein's advanced theoretical physics to a layman.

''Who am I?''

''You’re Savitar.'' You walked in his direction calmly, not knowing what reaction to expect.

Fortunately, he did not try to pull away when you got beside him.

''It doesn't seem like  my name...'' Savitar rummaged his pockets, probably looking for his wallet - just as Barry did. ''Hmm. Weird.''

God, he looked so fragile, so pure. You felt sick thinking that it had been taken away from him;

''Are you hungry? We can go out, eat something.'' He finally looked around, frowning in confusion at the sight of the place. But he still shook his head in denial. ''Or we can just stay here. It works for me.''

A few seconds of silence passed, Savitar seemed to be carefully analyzing all the details of everything around him, the place, the visible part of his body to his eyes, you.

Sighing, (Y/N) decided to try her luck, hesitantly touching his hand. He, of course, tried to retreat scared, and his armor raised its guard, but you held your hand steady, taking his.

''I'm here.'' Savitar looked into her eyes. ''I am here.''

And that seemed enough.

''I'm scared.'' He admitted, making her heart tear up little bit.

''You don't need to be scared.'' You smiled gently. ''I'm here.'' The pain was gone, you knew that. But Savitar's scars remained there.

Nodding, he stroked your hand, unconsciously sending a timely thought.

Xxx

''Big Belly Burguer.'' Savitar read the establishment's sign in that afternoon, a carefree smile playing on his lips. ''I like it here?''

''You absolutely love this place,'' You giggled, slipping into the place and sitting down at the usual table. '' Mostly the fries. There was a time when you'd woke up at three in the morning just because you dreamed of fries and we would ended up here!''

They laughed and their conversation continued in that casual rhythm, anyone looking outside would bet a penny that the couple would eventually marry. Around you, it was a completely harmonious and comfortable mood, and that moment was so magnetic for both of them that they forgot to order the food - which is something big, especially considering the body of a speedster as fast as the god of speed .

The hours passed by like seconds when night fell in all its glory, as Iris declared her love for Barry through a childlike memory, the memories of the villain and the hero merged into a single yin-yang .

Savitar closed his eyes, attacked without any warning by the weight of his sins while who was taking care of him all along made her request to the waiter was kind heavy.

His mind was more fucked up than usual and he had the luxury of stopping time for a few moments, (Y/N), the only girl his nemesis and himself had loved besides Iris West, had stayed by his side. Despite all the threats, fear, mistakes. Which he committed to his team, to her.

He couldn't lie to himself, (Y/NN) was always one in a million, the Cleopatra to his Julius Cesar in a future where he was without Iris West. But wherever he came to, she had not existed as a romantic interest to Barry Allen - ironically, the girl was married to Eddie Thawne in many earths.

Savitar had enjoyed her company more than that. For the first time in millennia as a god, he had finally felt in the presence of a goddess after his own left him for a heroic copy.

''And five big fries, thank you.'' (Y/N) finalized their request as Savitar let time go by as it was supposed to.

'' Do not forget the mayonnaise.'' Savitar warned the waiter, not actually aware to the meaning of those words. His ex lover raised her eyebrows at his elbow when the teenager who was attending them left.

''Did you remember anything?''

''Hm.'' Savitar quickly composed himself. The remnant of time had enjoyed being with someone like that. No violence, just... Being. Well, not with someone really, he wouldn't like to be like this with anyone else but her. '' Mayonnaise just seems... Good. Like you here.''

This had been the cutest thing in the world, the cliché that Barry Allen would be ready to say at any moment, not really a Savitar thing.

But her smile made left him feeling like an idiot for saying something like that was worth it.

[breezy-cheezy]

Mmmmmkay I have to rant about Nier: Automata for a bit; I accidentally triggered the end of the game (playthrough 2, ending B) last night and stayed up till 2:00 trying to finish the stupid “not allowed to save” phase. But y’aLL IT’S SO GOOD??????? AND 3RD PLAYTHROUGH ISN’T ANOTHER RE-RUN OF THE SAME STORY WE GET MORE STORY AAAAAAAAA

(more under the cut because there is ALOT for those who care;;;;;)

- OK SO THE MUSIC IS AMAZING??? I love LOVE that the music dynamics build in instruments and intensity as you progress towards danger/plot, but also softens again for quieter moments and just...musical storytelling is so sooooo my jam I love it. Also that the music goes 8 bit when 9S hacks stuff, it’s actually kinda cute X’D

- ON THE SUBJECT of 9S being able to hack into enemies and you getting to play that as a little teeny ship shooting down viruses and barriers and whatnot. Genius???? That added SO MUCG to the story on the second playthrough as 9S. Particularly discovering the fact that all of humanity?? Is actually extinct?? ...even BEFORE the aliens/machines attacked earth?? WH A T?????? WHAT THE HECK ARE ANDROIDS FIGHTING FOR THEN????? *every time an android salutes and says “glory to mankind” now* GLORY MY FOOT THEY ALL DEAD MOVE ON--

-  I realize it probably has alot to do with the lore of previous nier games and I’ll probably have to trawl through Wiki pages soon here. Emil himself really broke my heart aaaaaah baby...his side quest is so sad. I also looked at arts and he was a really cute kid?? Before he was turned int the freaky moon skeleton thing...?? Oh my goodness......

-  The secret lunar tear flower room is gorgeous. I just sat there for awhile to soak it all in...the music is so nostalgic and I’ve never heard that song bfore how do y’all DO THAT--

- Emil’s shop is pretty cute. He just drives around the ruins and sells stuff if you shoot him and he’ll stop X’’’D It did ruin alot of serious moments tho. *Engels, talking about how he’d sinned for killing so many androids and choosing death--* “S-A-L-E SAAAALLLEEE~~!! EVERY SALE’S A WIIIINNNNNN~~~~!!!! LALALaaaaaa~~~...” Me: *facepalm* 

- ...I just realized the little tune he sings is a cheerful rendition of the music in the flower room. H E C K

- ANYWAY. Onto the actual game. I really really enjoyed playing as 9S for obvious reasons (bABY) but it really did add so soooo much to the pretty much surface level story when you first play as 2B. Which sums them up pretty well...2B, Battle unit 2, pushes on relentlessly, avoids thinking too hard about things and what she’s doing because oh dear, EMOTION might get in the way...9S, Scanner unit 9, on the other hand, cannot stop his curiosity. He asks questions, he sticks his nose in way further than he should to some dangerous stuff. I think he realized Machines were sentient and had feelings long before 2B, but was in denial for a good while. You learn so much more about what you’re fighting as 9S, because he scans. He observes, searches, discovers. Heck, some hacking caused him to experience empathy for the poor things, to his horror...

- Actually, there are alot of scenes where either 2B or 9S questions why a machine they’re killing is screaming for help, of crying for lost family, or loudly proclaiming loyalty to a king they’ll give their lives for...they stop for a moment, but the other quickly jumps in and reminds them that it’s just imitation. It’s not real, it’s fake, machines can’t feel, yadda yadda...it was odd to me they kept switching off on reminding, but...I think they both know, deep down, what they’re doing. But denial. Because if machines DO have feelings, if they are sentient...what does that mean for all they’ve killed...? Just...hoo BOY the moral dellimas in this game?? Scary good. The quests get that across alot.

- I don’t like the theme of hopelessness in most of the side quests?? I do see many of them as cautionary tales though. We watch many characters lose hope and the will to live after their thing/person they’re living FOR is gone. It makes me worry alot about 2B, who is a soldier through and through. 9S actually does have hopes and dreams for things outside of the war, which I love ;7; they definitely lean on each other alot emotionally on this respect though...I don’t know quite what to make of the themes of the game this far in yet;;;; 

- The love between 9S and 2B is of course my favorite thing. Familial, romantic, idk. I, being me, see it as more platonic, “You’re my rock in this storm” only friend/sister/brother vibe, but as more of a fan of platonic relationships, that is what I tend to do. But 9s following 2B around like a lost puppy and trying to do all he can to help and do his job but also getting bored with said job and trying to make the most of things, asking all the “why” questions, 2B acting irritated but also always keeps him close and makes sure he’s safe....going ballistic when someone hurts her boy ;;v;; I love...2 kids. Their operators and pods are such fun dynamics too~~ 

- As far as endings A and B...DANG. It hit worse because you get backstory on the giant ocean machine (that 9S just hit with a giant missle, which he also had to ride to keep it on the right path...DX NO SELF PRESERVATION) he just...wanted his mama......;;A;;

- Also it’s not fair. 9S is so injured by that missle attack, then I guess Adam finds him and is like “HM. *sticks the lil boy impaled on a wall* Perfect. *proceeds to emotionally and mentally torture said child*“ like YO ADAM THAT’S NOT HOW YOU DO THINGS. Then 2B proceeds to kick down walls for her boy and kills Adam and walks off carrying 9S bridal style into the sunset. Lovely. I have a comic idea for this part, lol.

- Oh I don’t like Adan very much, he is pretty tho?? There was alot of blood though...how do machines bleed?? How do the androids bleed?? What??? I question this alot. 

- HHHHHHH THE BECOME AS GODS CHAPTER SCARED ME I DON’T EVER WANNA DO THAT AGAIN DANG SUICIDAL ROBOTS SCARED ME SO BAD

- Fighting Eve was...annoying but still heartbreaking. He misses his brother so much....even though Adam is a butthead and couldn’t care less he left his little brother behind DX just everything about that fight was Tragic. Also Eve developing more self awareness and realizing “Eve” is a girl’s name and being a bit miffed LOL that’s what y’all get when your first book is the bible kiddos...I realize they’re technically like what? 2 weeks old still???

- The ENDING. From 9S’s perspective is especially scary....the corruption transforming him, 2B coming in to kill him to stop the pain, he BEGGED her to, just....hhhhhhh babies ;;A;; 2B’s soft broken crying over him as she’s forced to strangle her only friend to death just aaaaaAAAAAAAA I DIE ;;;;;;;;~;;;;;;;;;

- I was actually able to cry over it this time coz. It was 2 am. No parent awkwardly watching over my shoulder. Because the pose for this scene is...........super awkward..........like......really........their clothes are super torn up and uh. The first time I was just hoping my parents wouldn’t mistake it for a sex scene or something hhhhhghhhhh;;;;;; I really really REALLY wish the pose was different, the game does need to give the fanservice a rest, at LEAST for a scene this serious DX I’m able to ignore it but when someone else is watching I don’t wanna have to explain;;;;

- That IS a big gripe I have with the game. The fanservice. Just. Why. How is 2B’s outfit practical?? Self destruct mode???? REALLY???? Get this girl battle shorts or something please.....I guess if I looked at it more as a ballet outfit?? I might make some edits when I draw her because GEEZ.

- 9S gets some of this too. Self destruct mode, his shorts are blown off???? WHAT THE HECK???? Welp, never using that again. also why is he the only yorha boy android??????????? X’’’’D They never explain that!!

- BACK TO ENDING STUFF why were there random data hologram girls standing there, watching 2B strangle 9S?? Just...silently there...they weren’t there in the first playthrough?? I’ve seen them a couple times but they’re NEVER mentioned?? WHAT ARE THEY-- is it a glitch?? Wha--

- Teeny 9S being able to dump his consciousness into a giant machine robot guy and cradling 2B in his hand ;;~;; he’s fine y’all I’m so GLAD (I wanna draw something for this scene.... I wanna draw alot of things) 

- I love Pascal. He should adopt all the sad people to his happy peace village. He already started that...what a good egg. 

- The accessories option is lovely. I’ve been running around with 9S with a blue bow in his hair forever now ;7; replaced with the flower in his hair because BOYS AND FLOWERS I LOVE but I think I might give the flower to 2B because she’d look lovely with it and....I miss the blue bow X’D

 - Also the AMOUNT of things this could line up with a KH universe....as far as how androids work, hearts (black boxes), memories making you...you, being able to transfer “hearts” to new bodies when the old is destroyed, POWER OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP...there’s alot. I dunno what to do with this info...

Anyway, I have alOT of thoughts and feelings on this game, it’s like...a very cool book. I’ve had trouble putting down. These aren’t even all of them but idk who I can actually rant to so here it is for the Void

I’m so interested to see where it goes! 

[techouspeaks]

My Favorite Animated Couples

This isn’t going to be in any order. This is basically my personal favorite official couples. That’s right, official. Meaning, they’re not just hinted and made up by fans. They are legit couples that are canon to the story. I will do a list of my favorite non canon ships too.

 I will be listing movie characters as well as anime. Meaning, if it’s animated, it’s in here, it doesn’t matter the medium. Again this is my Personal List, meaning some of my favorites may not be your favorites and these are my opinions. So take it with a pinch of salt if you happen to disagree with these couples. Onto the list!

Quackerjack and Claire from Darkwing Duck

Yeah,we’re starting off strange here, now aren’t we? Quackerjack of all characters is not someone I would call a “ladies man”, be it, most normal folks wouldn’t find him attractive. (Though fandom isn’t normal so I don’t necessarily count them...). What I mean by that is, unless there was a Harley Quinn character, a lot of people in the Duckuniverse wouldn’t find QJ boyfriend material. That is unless you’re good old Claire.

Claire only makes an appearance in the comics and only in one issue, but by god, did she make an impact on the fandom and the franchise. Quackerjack, least in terms of episodes has shown nothing more of just being a crazy guy that’s just down on his luck. (Although, some fans will tell you otherwise there’s something deeper to him but that’s another story). So it’s quite a shock and interesting that out of all the characters to give a girlfriend to, QJ would be the one, but then again, since we hardly know of his past, it only makes sense to give him something that kinda makes his more human side to come out.

I mean again, QJ has never been taken seriously before in the original animated series. The other villains, though not always deep, at least do have more of a back story. We see them become who they are. Through only a brief dialog from a security guard and QJ, we only get he’s mad because he went out of business because of the video games, that he hates passionately and that’s it.

With that being said, Claire is actually perfect for QJ and even though we don’t see them together in the comics, it’s obvious that they did have something and you can tell by their actions, facial expressions and even words, they had something that was there. Claire was willing to look past the craziness and find the humanity that was in QJ. Even going far as ordering the doll of Mr. Bananabrain, thus possibly risking her neck to find “Jacky” and seeing if she can convince him to change his ways and return to at least a standard life and job, that is until Darkwing came a long and do it for her. You gotta give props for that. She’s dedicated and it must be love for her to do that. Shoot, he must have done something right for her when they were together.

QJ, well going the rotten route, still showed sympathy in the end . He does love her and while yes he still ends up being selfish, it does show he feels bad for hurting her and just feels like he can’t be any better.

Hey I never said every couple on this list was going to be perfect or have a perfect ending. Shoot, it’s implied they stopped dating, but mainly because QJ disappeared. It never stated they broke up and he left it in an angry, hateful way.. I hope in future comics, that is if the comics are still going, that Claire comes back somehow and they can finally hit it off together, somehow or someway.

Ruby and Skullboy from Ruby Gloom

The one word that describes these two is cute…Just cute. If these two were pieces of cake I would eat them up, they’re so adorable! Which is ironic being we’re talking about…a goth girl and a skeleton….okay it somehow works well for them, somehow. I doubt they would have kids, but who needs kids when it’s the innocence of their relationship that makes them cute in the first place?

If you ever wondered what Jack Skellington and Sally the Ragdoll would be like if they were kids, these two would be a perfect example of what they would be like. Skullboy is your eccentric, curious character that only wishes to find out who is, by trying his family, which often causes him to lose focus on what’s really important. Lucky for him, Ruby is the down to earth, average girl that is the voice of reason in the group, thus she helps keep him grounded and cheers him up when he’s down. This makes their relationship standard. 

Although, yes, technically they never admit their feelings in the series but, I mean come on! You know their feelings are mutual, they shared a hug in the Last Train to Gloomville, he blushes and gets nervous sometimes around her, especially when they both played Romeo and Juliet and of course, Ruby isn’t exactly hiding it either. The Hairless Musical is another episode where they come rather close to admitting their feelings. It’s canon, even if they don’t say the become a couple, they’re canon.

And honestly, I know that Skullboy tends to get on some people’s nerves. He kinda does mine too but I can’t help but like him and favor him either. I will admit, he annoys me too sometimes with accent and all but I can’t imagine the show without him and I can’t imagine Ruby without him These two are just so sweet together, that I just don’t care. I love these two, even if they can be cringy with their corniness. It’s good old fashion innocent love and it’s definitely for me.

Hector and Imelda from Coco

(Gif from here Sorry, there’s mostly fan art of these two and not enough official pictures...)

Funny how skeletons seem to show more romantic chemistry than some human characters. In fact, most I’ve listed so far aren’t human but hey if robots can show love (Wall E), so can other things.  Hector is a straight up dork but you can tell he feels bad for leaving his family and Imelda you can tell still feels betrayed but you know it just by her expressions both on her face and postures, she still loves Hector.

Point is, these two are just adorable. Perfect chemistry, a little broken but no relationship is perfect, but these two show that yeah sometimes relationships aren’t always the classic fairytale like ending. Sometimes there are fights and people can hurt one another without meaning to. What makes it work is when the two realize when they’re wrong, lower their defenses and try to do better especially for each other and that’s what Hector and Imelda do. Least eventually. 

They’re both stubborn, especially Imelda but both eventually see they do still love each other and what happens is understandable. Hector isn’t the bad guy. He just wanted to pursue his dreams too, like any human being with big dreams does, only to realize the sacrifice he made wasn’t worth it and wanted to go home and be the responsible father he wanted to be. Imelda isn’t bad either. She was hurt when Hector left and wanted nothing to do with him to bury the pain, not wanting to admit she still loved him and had wish he came back. I like that Disney can do a realistic, human couple which is ironic because they’re skeletons...Well, okay, they were human and still are...they’re just dead humans...Anyway.

Henri and Masato (Hugtto Precure)

See, I do like gay couples when it's done intentionally without fan service or fan interference (shippings) and of course, when they're done really well and these two are done well. Okay, so it's kind of a stretch with these two, but it's pretty obvious what they're going for so I say it's legit.

These developed very nicely. It starts off that you would think these two would never end up being together like they are, especially with Masato's close minded nature at first, but Henri helps open the doors up and provides some of the well needed input to help Masato abandoned a very clear unhealthy view of things. Then you have Henri who is afraid to grow up especially since he doesn't want to become more masculine, but who's there to especially help him out? Masato, who clearly has a huge crush on him and is willing to be Henri's prince charming.

Also while we're on the subject, I do prefer MasatoXHenri over LuluXEmiru, mainly because I just see Lulu as more of a big sister to Emiru than a lover. They say they love each other, sure, but I think more so that Lulu is still trying to understand emotions and well Emiru is just a kid. I mean I'm sure it can blossom into romance but right now it just seems more like they're sisters than lovers. Masato ain't hiding it and neither is Henri! XD

Zaha and Shiru (Mon Colle Knights Japanese Version)

You may not know of this couple, at least AS a couple but yes, they are. In the original Japanese version. The stupid English dub that everyone might have remembered back in the early 2000s, made them siblings for some reason under the names Gabriollis and Spectra, but indeed, these two are lovers NOT siblings. In fact, double incest, they made Spectra in the English dub be the lover of Lark, who in the Japanese version is actually really her brother!

Stupid English dub! I dunno if it was because they thought religious people would be angry with an angel falling in love with a “fallen” angel. However, the fact they chose the name “Gabriollis”, making him an arch angel instead of a simple angel that just prevents people from giving into to temptation which is what the name Zaha came from, really makes no sense if that were the case.

Even as a kid, I always felt they were lovers. No sibling acts like they do. They are in deed in love. That’s why she wants him to gain redemption so they could somehow be together because she still loves him and doesn’t want to lose him forever. They will do anything for each other and you can tell that Zaha is grateful for having her be so dedicated to helping him. Also they are just gorgeous together! Really the prettiest couple in anime. With one coming up that tops them slightly.

Helios and ChibiUsa and Peru and ChibiUsa (Sailor Moon Super S/movie)

Kinda stretching it and also doubling down but yeah I can’t help it. Both couples are just so cute and I have to say, they have better chemistry than Usagi and Mamoru. Like, ChibiUsa at least got to know Pegasus/Helios. They started slowly as friends and worked their way into their relationship. Usagi and Mamoru, yeah they did but often times it felt forced. As for Peru with ChibiUsa, Peru I think would be cute with her too and if they had gotten together and talked to each other, I think they would have developed something there too. Either way, I’m pro both and I put them on the list because the feelings are obviously mutual enough to say “Hey good enough”. Both pairs are cute and innocent. There’s nothing sexual or anything indicating some sort of benefit. It’s just pure innocent, sweet feelings which makes their love as pretty as an angel’s. 

Adrien/Chat and Marienette/Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug)

I have yet to review this series. I’m sorta waiting for it to be near the conclusion, but yes, I’m a huge shipper of these two and I put them on the list because, yeah they haven’t found out about each other as of yet I’m typing this, but you can tell that even if they did find out about each other, it would still work out. (I hope so! That’s what they keep pushing in the series!)

I have a feeling what this series has been trying to go for is that it wants to teach Marinette to like the Chat side of Adrien as well as Adrien to like the Marinette side of Ladybug. Basically, enjoying both sides before the big reveal. And yeah, actually that is good for them to learn. Both like each other because of just one side. Adrien/Chat only likes Ladybug and while likes Marinette fine, it’s clear which side he likes more and same with Marinette/Ladybug only like Adrien but thinking Chat is fine as a friend. In a relationship, it’s important to accept all the sides to a person, even the sides we may not like the best about them. We all have those faulty sides and in relationships we gotta deal with the bad/not so best sides of our significant other or even a friend or relative.  Developing patience as well as an understanding with each other.

Ladybug does care about Chat, may not be romantically but it’s starting to be so close that she wouldn’t mind if he was Adrien and same with Adrien and Marinette. They do have their moments and chemistry that there being a big reveal soon, it probably come as a shock but upon realizing each other, they would probably accept it afterwards, now that they had a better understanding of both sides.

Either way, I see both of them as canon and I hope the creators go for it and they become officially a thing! They got fans of the show too riled up for it not to be! 

Hayate and Freyja (Macross Delta)

Excuse me, while I go fangirl scream....*WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I LOVE THESE TWO!!!!! OMG! THEY ARE LEGIT THEY ARE LEGIT!!!* 

Okay, *clears throat* yes, I am a fan of this series and the two main lovers! I never gotten into the other Macross series. I tried but none really captured me quite like Macross Delta does and with so many wonderful characters, a story that, yeeeeah is a bit on the hurt your brain complex side, I still was able to follow it and then you have these two....The biggest dorks of all time! Out of all of them, I love their chemistry with how they tease and play around with each other but end up falling in love!

At first, I was kinda against these two...mainly because the fact that poor, sweet Freyja will end up dying shortly in her 30s because of her race’ stupidly short life spans. Still these two won me over and I’m just hoping somehow, somewhere, they find away to extend her life because by God, my kokoro can’t take it if she dies! Just no! Don’t crush my feels like that!

These two are how I picture Haruka and Close from Go Princess Precure to be like if Close had been redeemed and turned normal earlier. Teasing and just being all out dorks! Dang it!

Yugi and Tea/Anzu (Yugioh)

Yes, these two are another stretch, but I like childhood friend relationships. Why because it shows that romance takes time and you need to take time to grow and develop both as a person and in the relationships you decide to be a part of. I mean sure, couples can take their time but so many of my friends have relationships that end badly because they don’t want their significant other to think their just friends, so they jump in as lovers, without understanding that the reason why often friendships last longer than quick romance is well, because it’s too quick to develop the relationship healthily.

Enter these two. They are best friends and yet, they show they can be an adorable couple  that respect each other and will do anything for one another, simply because they are best friends first and lovers second. They risk their lives for each other, they stand up for one another when they other is down, it’s what a relationship is all about and something that people sadly miss. If you want a time of smooching, sex and romantic sceneries for the sake of it, get a one night stand! If you want something deeper than that, give it time. Don’t be afraid to be a friendship first because shoot, that’s common sense. If they just end up being your friend only, well, at least you can’t say you’re a lone, right? You got someone who at least cares you exist and knows and likes you for who you are. You’ll find the one but only if you can give it time and wow....

I just went on ramp about love advice but hey, that’s what YugiXTea/Anzu are...If anything they are a good lesson about a healthy relationship. Yeah, they never kissed or really say the words, but meh, again, sometimes it’s not words or obvious. 

[carolrance]

I AM DYING LMAO

i just found the most hilarious reviews for the handmaid’s tale and i’m dying lol. since twop is dead(?) (is it? i dunno cos i never look anymore tbh) this is the next best thing. and it’s doubly awesome cos she hates all the same characters. (mutual nick hate is my life). i have another post in my drafts about how amazing amy glynn’s reviews at paste are. and they are. but they are serious. these ones are snarktastic.

“Welcome back to America’s favorite rape and explosions show, The Handmaid’s Tale.”

“Nick goes out into the rain, full emo cigarette smoking, resigned to boning this virgin, when he spies something. Oh no! It’s Offred, sprawled in the rain, bleeding to death. He picks her up and screams for help. My god. These two. Offred is the world’s worst teenager. And Nick is her bad boy boyfriend. She’s going to robotically obey and then bleed to death in the rain? Get the fuck out of here with that. These two act like they are in a My Chemical Romance music video circa 2005.” (This is my fav one of them all.)

“Speaking of Nick, he’s still the worst! His baby bride comes to Offred for...advice? I don’t know why she comes to her exactly, except maybe it’s like coming to your sluttiest friend and asking a weird sex question? I don’t know.”

“Serena is clearly mad about Offred, and E. Moss is doing a great job as playing her as the bitchiest teenager in the house. Aunt Lydia has moved in to keep her eye on Offred, and she bursts in during Offred’s teenage sulk bath to instruct her to wash. Down there. You know. (vagina). Offred makes more defiant teenage eye contact as she washes. Down there. She’s almost coming on to Lydia. That’s cool, I guess.”

“We cut to the Colonies and some more cockadoodie plot machinations. Because of the mass casualty event, Emily and Janine, among others, are going to be pressed back into service as Handmaids. This is some ripe bullshit. First off, both are disobedient. Secondly, they’ve been in the radioactive Colonies for a hot minute--who knows what that’s done to their baby making machinery? But now the writers can bring back some important characters. COCKADOODIE.”

“Part of the purpose of the walks are so the fetus can hear and get used to Serena’s voice, you see, and Serena wants to talk shit about everyone they know.”

“We get some grade A pen pornography as she lovingly fingers Fred’s pens, and we close on the image of Serena behind the desk and Offred clicking the ballpoint just like Ofglen clicked the detonator. (We also get an insane music cue: “Venus.” You know, from the razor commercials and also the 1960s? Like, what the what the what, show.)”

“She’s worked on her shrine and her newspaper-clipping Crazy Wall ™, where she is reconstructing the events that led to the creation of Gilead. Which is great, but also, bitch, didn’t you watch the fucking news? You lived through this.”

“They load up into a truck, but at the last minute, Offred remembers that she is the worst and this show is supposed to go for ten seasons, so she hops out, gives the baby to Emily, and heads back into the night, to become Jedi June and fight Gilead to rescue her other daughter.”

“Serena stomps into Devil Fred’s mancave while he is enjoying his jazz records and demands that Offred go back to the Red Center. Fred talks her down, telling her that they don’t want to miss the joy of the pregnancy. Which, okay, Fred. You try having a testy teenager in your face all day.”

“I really wanted to punch her during all of this. How golly, and how insensitive, to poke through their sacred objects and get all teary-eyed, especially as they risk their lives to shelter her dumb ass.”

“Serena monologues about her drafts of new security orders. She wants things to get back to normal--she wants to cut back on the police state to normal dystopian police state levels.”

“It seems the Marthas have had enough, and they are taking action. Offred fucks around for about ten minutes because she is the worst, carving Nolite into the bedroom wall.”

“Anyway, Serena is super pissed, violently potting succulents and plotting dark deeds.”

“At some point, Offred takes a pout bath that is red with blood. She also bleeds clear through her underwear. When they get home, the Waterfords welcome Nick’s bride into the household, and then send Offred and Rita away. Rita is worried about Offred, but Offred has decided to bleed to death. Up the stairs she goes.”

“Offred’s presence rouses Fred out of his mini-coma for just long enough for him to remark on her size (just like a real son of a bitch). Offred leaves and makes out with Nick in the hall because they are stupid assholes. I mean, really. There are people and Eyes all over the place and these two are just slobbering all over. Offred also makes the Martha’s shooting all about her in a real self-centered way.”

“Let’s check in on the boring house, shall we? Offred decides to go around and collect godmothers for her baby.”

“Oh I forgot that Nick and Offred cuddled the baby and blah blah and I still hate them. Also, Nick, your baby bride’s blood is on your hands.”

“In the show, though, we’ve seen a lot of natal care, including ultrasounds, and we’ve seen the inside of a hospital room. Why in the fucking hell would they mess around with home birth at all? It’s so illogical it makes me mad.”

“So she goes outside with the shotgun, has another wolf encounter, and blasts off some rounds to alert someone of her presence. Then she goes back inside and takes off all her clothes and shits that kid out.”

“Back at the Waterford manse, Serena and Offred bond, AGAIN, over Eden’s execution and Serena lets Offred breast feed the baby, because she is completely internally inconsistent. On this episode, Serena will be affected by the atrocities of the regime she helped create. ANYWAY, THE END.”

“Eden wants to spruce up the apartment, and Nick gives her permission and plays the husband humoring his little woman’s whims. Which, total and complete barf forever. Nick still doesn’t see Eden as a potential threat, because he is an idiot. While she’s working on her HGTV audition tape, she finds the stack of contraband letters Nick took from Offred when she was going mad.”

“Into the house they run, Serena screaming Offred’s name like she’s going to catch her and probably murder her. I mean, this is full throated scream. If your dog ran away, you wouldn’t scream his name that way because he would be like: that bitch is crazy and wants to kill me. So it unsuprisingly doesn’t work on a human woman.”

“Meanwhile, Nick catches Eden kissing the douchebag Guardian. He’s like no big deal, and Eden freaks out. She says that he’s in love with the Handmaid, and he gaslights the fuck out of her denying it. Nick is a bastard. He shows Eden no kindness. He doesn’t treat her like a person. She doesn’t rate even a decent excuse. There are many things he could say: that she’s so young, that they don’t know each other, that he’s unhappy to be married at all. But he does none of those things. This woman is fifteen years old. She’s spent her adolescence under the yoke of Gilead. While she may be a true believer, she is still not in charge of her fate here. Nick is a bastard.”

“Devil Fred and Offred get in a knock-down, drag out, and he misquotes the bible at her and slaps her across the face. She then slaps him across his face, and is not immediately fucking super murdered.”

“Emily is like what the fuck, this place is weird. Lydia is like, bye! You better be good or we will kill you! Have fun! Anyway, she has a brief conversation with the Wife, who is like: this guy is horrible. He created The Colonies! He poisoned people! Commander Old Hipster gently shuffles her away, back to her crazy room.”

And serious business shit (cos it’s not all jokes):

“What I do think is wrong is the zig-zagging of Serena’s character. She’s mean and petty, and then she’s happy playing writer to Offred’s editor. Then she’s mad again, and then even more mad after that. Raping Offred to punish her for false labor is insane and irredeemable. Devil Fred has been consistently devilish--a prick who enjoys owning women--but Serena has seesawed from one extreme to another. I don’t think it makes her character more complicated or deep. Instead, it seems like inconsistency in the writing.

This show has been saluted as being of the times, for being very current. When I see children being ripped from their parents, or in an earlier episode this season, people desperate to escape to another country, and then I see it echoed in real life, it is hard to take. Dystopias are less entertaining to watch when you live in a country that seems to be accelerating toward the same.”

“Things I liked: Annie Lennox, Commander Old Hipster/his house/his wife/his Martha/his stolen art collection/taste in graphic novels/scarves, Rita and the Marthas rising up. Things I didn’t like: EVERYTHING ELSE

As adaptations go, the second season was always going to be a rough one. I can’t say that it was successful. They’ve turned June/Offred into an asshole, and they made Serena so inconsistent we don’t even know what to expect moment to moment. That’s not good writing, y’all.”

BTW, the site is:

https://heauxsmag.com/new-blog/?tag=handmaids+tale