#also genuinely baffled that people can't tell the difference

[adanedhel]

i've said it before but the silm fandom is absolutely insane with "realism artists" who just fucking trace and then scribble some color in 😭

[luvsavos]

so not only does genki canonly exist in the reboot but it seems strongly implied that he and doc ketchum worked together at some point??? i do not like that concept At All!

[amymbona]

Being involved with Tashi, Patrick and Art - headcanons

It was really difficult to put this together without revealing my deepest secrets and ideas, just in case I finally write a full fanfiction one day 😔 Also... Is my Patrick bias showing?

At first, you are nothing but an ordinary girl at Stanford, having no involvement with tennis whatsoever. You find your way towards the sport though, or rather the people playing it, as you're a kind soul who offers tutoring lessons and writes articles in the school newspaper.

The first person to notice you is Art - the social butterfly himself - as the two of you share some classes, and he recognizes you on the court one day. You surprise him, though, by slipping right past him and running straight towards Tashi.

The moment she first sees you, all thoughts about tennis and school and Patrick evaporate from her brain. Suddenly, her mind is full of you. You're hers and she's yours.

It's such an unbelievable thing for Tashi to do, become almost obsessed with somebody, to the extent that she counts days until the new number of the newspaper comes out and she can read the interview you did with her. Even Art notices and he finds it quite silly, considering the odd dynamic that Tashi and Patrick's relationship has. And it's no secret he has a crush on both of you.

Pretty soon, you become Tashi and Art's thing - their friend that they both desire, while desiring other people as well - they make sure you're sitting at the bleachers for every match and show off in front of you. And you adore them deeply, finding them to be the best tennis players at Stanford.

They introduce you to Patrick, someone so similar and yet entirely different to them. The guy scoops you up like a tsunami, offers you your first ever cigarette and treats you as if you two have grown up together. Whatever Art and Tashi like, he likes as well.

The four of you finally get closer over multiple shared cans of beer - something nostalgic, a deja vu for the three that they don't tell you about - and all three of them ask to kiss you. You let them, of course.

Somehow, all three of them want you, need you so badly, all while still wanting one another. You become some sort of a glue which keeps them together - even though they were functioning almost perfectly before you showed up - and none of them notice the showing cracks which you failed to glue up.

Some time passes, you become Tashi's best of friends, her safe space and the only person she's willing to display her vulnerability in front of. The effect you have on her is unreal, she's genuinely at her best, healthy, taking care of herself, and all of that just because of you.

Patrick visits more often as well. Both him and Tashi seem to fight for your attention, so it's natural neither of them really minds, considering they are almost actively trying to cheat on each other with you. But you love both of them, plus Art, too equally and too much to nice any different in their behaviour. If anything, you're just happy that you found yourself in such a lovely group of friends.

You're with Art, both of you waiting for Patrick, when Tashi's injury happens. You clutches your hand like you're her guardian angel in the infirmary, begging you not to leave her, just don't leave her alone. When Patrick runs in, trying to talk to Tashi, you're lost, completely. And when Art kicks his best friend out - for reasons totally unknown to you - you're baffled. What is going on? Eager to get an answer, you run after Patrick, abandoning Tashi.

After that, crumbles into pieces. Patrick wouldn't talk to you, suddenly seeing Art and Tashi's influence in yourself and he can't stand that, because you were their first. And even if you choose to go after him, he knows he can't have you. Nor can he have Tashi and Art.

Tashi is devastated, she feels hurt and betrayed, even though you have visited multiple times at the hospital and brought her fruit and fresh clothes. Art spends most of his time by her side, and somehow, he's excused from school to provide her much needed support. She doesn't want you there.

Few months later, Tashi has completely erased you from her life - almost unwillingly, and despite your attempts to reach out and offer her your support - and leaves Stanford after some time. So the only one of the three who you remain in contact with is Art. His presence feels like a ghost's, he only reveals that he hasn't talked to Patrick once since that day and that Tashi is healing. Physically. But it's clear that mentally, she is completely devastated.

You graduate from Stanford by yourself, leaving everything behind the gates of the school, and get employed in an editorial office. It proves to be difficult to completely forget about the boys, since they are both very much active and have pursued tennis. And just to your luck, you've been promoted to a sports journalist.

Due to your profession, you're one of the first people in the world to discover that Tashi Duncan has married Art Donaldson and she's now his coach. It's like a punch in the gut when you are the one to interview the player at the US open in 2012 - many years after the whole Stanford drama.

He answers all your questions, his voice as soft as you remember it, and he tells you how pretty you look after you turn off the voice recording. You only thank him simply, and leave the place as quickly as possible, slipping right past Tashi without sparing her a glance.

About a year later, you run into Patrick - it's the most random of encounters - but the two of you just bump into each other at some random match where he's playing. And you learn that he is completely miserable, having slipped down from the peak of his career and still playing mainly to keep himself living at a decent level. He tells you he hasn't spoken to Art nor Tashi in years.

Few words in, few tears later the two of you end up drunk - completely fucking wasted, actually - and move it to the closest hotel room. Another night follows and then Patrick invites you for an actual date. That day, you discover a completely new person, a Patrick you never knew could actually exist under all that bravado.

One reckless decision follows another and you accept the silver ring that Patrick slips on your finger. The proposal is fairly romantic but simple and spontaneous at the same time, a pretty sunset in the background to make it look like a fairytale.

As Patrick's fiancée and later a wife - and as a journalist as well - you accompany Patrick to some matches. Yes, he has managed to crawl a bit higher again, having found much needed motivation in your presence and kindness. Just like you used to be an angel to Tashi, now you're one to him. Speaking of Tashi, it's inevitable, meeting her and her husband again.

It appears like a shot from a movie - hand in hand with Patrick, you stand in front of Tashi, who's hair is now a lot shorter, and not so cheery looking Art. All four of you are pretty unsure who to look at first. Luckily, Art is not here to play, but the two have been offered tickets to promote the Donaldson brand. You know the business, make a public appearance every now and then so the world knows they're still relevant.

While you hop away for a quick bathroom break in between the matches, unfortunately, Tashi is there as well. She pulls you into an empty stall and says that both her and Art miss you deeply. She doesn't say a word about Patrick. And she mentions her daughter - Lily - you know about the girl, her baby photos were all over Twitter. Then she kisses you and leaves.

Your and Patrick's relationship is odd, to say at least. It's not like he doesn't love you - god forbid that he feels anything other than deep affection towards you! - but there are just certain gaps. Despite finding nothing but unconditional support from you, Patrick is still unable to open up fully, to accept the loss of his two past loves, even though he has you now.

It's hard to talk about family life when the two of you are at it, and while you wish for a baby so deeply, Patrick can't really give that to you. And that pains him. Because Patrick wants nothing more than for you to be happy in life, but he is too afraid of having such a responsibility over somebody else. He can hardly take care or himself, how would he possibly take care of a baby?

And that's the reason why the two of you eventually divorce towards the end of the year 2017, because you needed something Patrick could never give you. And you wanted it, wanted it more than him. However, you never find another partner to conceive with, you can't bring yourself to fall for somebody else, not after the loss of Art, Tashi and Patrick.

Two years later, you're invited as one of the journalist to the challenger match in New York, completely unaware of the things that are about to happen. When you're getting all set in the hotel, a pretty lady named Helen, who's taking care of your check-in waves at somebody behind you. And that somebody, shows to be Patrick. You run away.

And just around the corner, you collide with Tashi. Ever so gorgeous, she offers you one of her smiles, a tired, appreciative one. There is no mention of the kiss exchanged few years ago. The only thing she says is that Art would love to see you. You tell her you still have the same phone number.

In the evening, as you're getting ready to go to bed, he messages you, asking to see you. A bit late for him, as you know he always used to go to bed early, insisting to live a healthy life. You know you really shouldn't, considering the three shouldn't be allowed a way into your life, but you let him come to your hotel room.

There, he crumbles in your arms wordlessly and lets you stroke his hair. You can sense there's something hidden behind his silence, something he'd like to speak about, but is too ashamed to say out loud. Later, he tells you he's retiring at the end of the season. While the two of you lay there in the dark, you stay unaware of Tashi's current meeting with Patrick. Art, he knows damn well.

The following day, everything is at the stake. You are at the stake, but you don't even know that. Stood on the very opposite of Tashi, where she is sat at the bleachers, staring at you through her sunglasses like the picture of guilt and repentance, as stiff as you don't know her.

You keep your eyes on all three of them, failing to note a single detail, to snap a single picture. Nothing. You only only stand there, glued to your spot behind the umpire's chair, watching Patrick and Art battle on the court. It's clear they're fighting for much more than a simple victory.

Art is doing his best but it's clear he's nowhere near as good as Patrick, and he seems to have almost resignated too, while Patrick remains smug and confident. Although his smirk falls every so often especially at those moments when he locks eyes with you. Then, he looks almost remorseful.

At one moment, Patrick takes a while to serve, rolling the green ball between his fingers and then holding it over the empty triangle of his racket. When he fires, Art doesn't budge at all. In front of you, Tashi is awkwardly fidgeting in her seat, her expression hard to read. Now, she seems to be avoiding your gaze.

The match turns into something harsher, fueled by something that's hard to describe, with both of the boys playing like their lives are on the line. Both of them keep gazing at Tashi, while she's trying to escape their eyes. It's messy, it's weird and you don't like it a bit. But then, all three of them turn to look at you. You're still there, watching them play. You haven't left. You never left.

The balls keeps flying left to right, grunts filling your ears, until the boys get so close to the net that it concerns you. At one final moment, the boys collide, hugging over the net separating the two of them like two good friends who haven't seen each other in years. Tashi jumps up, cheering, and you do as well, applauding them with a smile.

[secriden]

rewatching love sea and i've got some episode 1 mahasamut thoughts:

i'm so appreciative of how much we get to see of mahasamut being an important part of the island community in this episode. its character establishing/quick scenes but we see a consistent thread of kindness, gentle and good humoured interactions, and just overall helpfulness to others. you see him having fun with palm who is younger and clearly loves and respects mahasamut. you see how he knows and cares for different people in very personal ways.

another thing epsiode 1 does a good job of doing is establishing how intelligent mahasamut is both intellectually and emotionally.

he instantly clocks on that tongrak thinks the island/mahasamut is "beneath" him. tongrak is a jerk from the get go, acting as if because he's rich (his focus on how expensive his suitcases are) he can treat mahasamut like crap. he assumes mahasamut can't speak/understand the central dialect and openly makes disparaging comments about his intelligence.

but rather than getting annoyed/offended, he weaponises the prejudice and leans into it to annoy tongrak. he doubles down onto the Southern dialect (even after he reveals he can speak Central). when tongrak whines about not understanding him, mahasamut just repeats himself but slower (such a good allusion to when people yell at you slower and more loudly as if that will magically make you understand English better). he leans into the whole 'small town awed at the fair skin of the city boy' act (masterful depiction of someone weaponising the 'dumb country hick' stereotype).

mahasamut just has such a good handle on tongrak from the start and it really showcases how smart and intuitive he is; like he instinctively knows how to handle this feral cat of a human being that tongrak is (i say this with complete affection).

his handling of tongrak is so incredibly effective and it throws tongrak so off his game that he looses all cool and just blurts out how baffled he is by mahasamut's reactions to him. this tells us (and mahasamut) that not only is tongrak aware that he's being a jerk, he's doing it on purpose because this usually works to drive people away. but it doesn't and never will work on mahasamut and the show lays the foundations of this aspect of mahasamut's character right from the start.

but whilst mahasamut remains unfazed by tongrak's bitchiness (for lack of a better term), we also see that he is not going to be a pushover either (and i love that he never becomes that even after he falls in love; in this, mahasamut's character is wonderfully consistent). he isn't shy about calling out tongrak for his poor behaviour/rudeness. he specifically points out that tongrak's been acting like a spoiled pet (or child).

(this is an aside, but) tongrak's (peat's) fist looks so tiny in mahasamut's (fort's) palm here i giggled. it's just... so ineffective. plus the way peat played it, it looks like tongrak tried to put some force into that hit but mahsamut is completely unaffected. very stoppable force meets unmovable wall. just. hilarious.

but also!! whilst all that is going on, mahasamut is also doing a really good job of taking care of tongrak. when he enters tongrak's room, he first cleans up after the tornado of trash and beer bottles, puts away his clothes properly, then brings tongrak out to get some proper food in him (it's not his fault that tongrak only has a single lettuce leaf; he tried). mahasamut takes him out on the boat to relax him and give him inspiration for his novel. and when he realises that tongrak's genuinely scared and upset and not just being a pain, mahasamut actually treats that with sincere care and concern, apologising and comforting him (in the novel, apparently tongrak slaps him and he still responds only with care and comfort). he's so incredibly gentle with tongrak here.

later in the series we see how much of their relationship development hinges on the the juxtaposition of words vs actions because neither of them put much stock by words (tongrak, because its the tools of his trade and he knows how they can be used to deceive; mahasamut because he never cares what people say about him) but episode 1 does a great job of establish just how good mahasamut is going to be at showing his love for tongrak once he gets there.

[yanderehsr]

Your post about the reader with a scar genuinely made me so happy. I got into an accident with a fire work a few years back and the whole left side of my body is covered with burns. It would be awesome if you could do some more ideas with others? (Maybe the express crew)

I'm glad you enjoyed it. To make others feel enjoyment when they read what I write is why I even write in the first place😄

Trigger Warning: Yandere, Obsessive behaviour, Possessive behaviour, Clingy behaviour, Kidnapping

Stelle: Will cling herself to you harder when she hears you call yourself ugly, she doesn't want to argue so instead she lets her actions speak for themself, she is silent as she lazily kisses your burn wherever it is, even if that burn is on inappropriate places.

There isn't much of a difference exept Stelle may hug you a bit tighter, hold you a bit more firmly, she can't allow you to see other people, they must have been the ones that put these thoughts into your head, surely without them you will know beautiful you are.

"You want to visit your family, sorry but you can't, I will not allow you to see people who puts such thoughts in your head"

Himeko: She makes sure to kiss your burn every chance she gets, every part of your body is lovely and she wants you to know that as well, don't try to struggle she will hold you down if she has to, she will show you how much she loves you.

There is hardly a day that goes by where you don't have Himeko holding you and kissing you, telling you how dear you are to her, in a way she is trying to manipulate you into thinking like her, that you are the prettiest in the universe.

"Please hold still, you may not believe yourself to be beautiful but I am sure I can change your mind"

Dan Heng: He just loves you so much that when you call yourself ugly he can't help but look at you like you are stupid, what do you mean, how could you ever look at youself like that. He is baffled to say the least

Now hear me out, as Imbibitor Lunae he likes to lick your scars, it is embarrasing to him but his instincts does that to try and heal your scars, in that form Dan Heng will also shut down your self deprication before you have gotten out all the words.

"Nope, you aren't ugly, if you are ugly then the rest of the world must be filled with hideus monsters"

Arlan: He will not let you get close to anyone else, it's because of his fear of them insulting you, he doesn't want you sad and just wants you to believe yourself to be beautiful he makes sure to remind you everyday.

Arlan carries around a necklace with a picture of you inside it, it's the only thing that allows him to get through the day, when he gets tired he just looks at the picture and he gets back the energy to continue.

Arlan dropped the neclace one time and someone asked him who the ugly one was. Let's just say that Arlan made sure that he disappeared, permanently.

"I can't believe my luck to be with you, you are just so perfect, please never leave"

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

am i the assshole for softblocking a person (and… existing, apparently)?

so this requires a bit of a backstory. recently i realized that i hadn't seen a certain mutual (person A) on my dashboard for a bit. i decided to go check their blog directly. when looking for it, however, no results were returned. curious, i went to check on a reserve tumblr account i made when my main got nuked, and this person did not delete their blog, they blocked my main. that seemed weird, because i don't remember any negative interactions with them, but i can be hotheaded and say things i later regret, so it wasn't implausible i said something to upset them. i decide to check the blog of a different person (person B) who i know is friends with the aforementioned one, and that person has me blocked as well. "that's not a coincidence", i think, and after sitting on it for a bit i decide to ask a third person, who was friends with both of them, and whom i consider my friend as well, whether i have done something that might have upset them at any point. they tell me that no, there isn't anything like that they can recall. after explaining what prompted this, i received an explanation that frankly baffled me.

turns out, person B was quite distressed with things related to me. according to them, i was an incredibly cool person who everyone was friends with, but i blocked them for no apparent reason and everyone kept discussing just how cool i am, which led to them feeling invalidated and upset. i should clarify, that i did block one of person B's sideblogs on which they post fanfiction for the fandom we're both in, because i wasn't quite comfortable seeing the kind of stories they write and it showed up in character name search if i didn't block the blog. i did not permablock their main blog, but i did softblock it a couple times because again, i'm not completely comfortable with what they write and would rather avoid interactions with them after finding out. i did not have any particular feelings about them as a person, because we barely ever interacted. and while i would not say that i am lame or something like that, i am also not nearly as cool as person B felt. there is a non-zero amount of people who either have me blocked or don't follow me back, and i rarely post original content, most of my blog is just reblogs of memes or other people's creations. i am a perfectly ordinary tumblr user. but i caused them enough distress that they chose to leave a discord server they were in because they talked about me so much, and for some other personal reasons i'm not quite sure about.

recently, i joined the guild and the server this person was claiming was so fond of me -- partially to see for myself how much people really mentioned me, but also for unrelated reasons. being the nosy person i am, i ran my name through the search function on discord. there was a total of six messages mentioning me in that server. in a total of four conversations. so i have been individually brought up 4 times. which apparently equates to a three hour conversation about me, according to person B.

to clarify, i am not saying person B's feelings are unreasonable -- i do know what it's like to feel ignored or outshined by someone, but i don't think i have personally contributed significantly to them feeling this way, nor do i think they interpreted any of my actions correctly.

so, aita for curating my dash and being brought up in a discord server half a dozen times? i genuinely can't tell.

What are these acronyms?

[gettingfrilly]

Let's talk about Eddy and empathy

Okay, so. Hand-me-down Ed.

Lotta people talk about this episode. Lotta them have the take that the boomerang unleashed Eddy's repressed nurturing side. This is a very valid interpretation when you consider the abuse Eddy has endured and all the reasons he has to repress any nurture-type feelings. But here is the thing that I think. Or don't think. I don't think Eddy represses a secret nurturing side. I think it got repressed by outside forces when he was young and squishy and moldable, and now there's not really a whole lot of nurturing in there left for him to repress himself. I truly believe the intent of the episode was to show the Eds being the opposite of who they truly are. And Eddy, truly, in my opinion, is an incredibly traumatized kid with some really unfortunate learned behaviors and underdeveloped empathy muscles that just aren't gonna fully recover.

There are two episodes I wanna talk about to back up my claim.

Ah, Dueling Eds. Who doesn't like Dueling Eds? I certainly consider it one of my favorite episodes. It's a surprisingly serious episode with a genuine look at how Eddy navigates the consequences of hurting someone. That long silence in the van with Double D? His continuing insistence that he didn't do anything? Continually asking throughout the whole episode what the hell is even going on? Mwah. Chef's kiss. I've seen a few different theories for what's going on with Eddy in this episode, but I've always felt that he genuinely has no idea what he did, why everyone's acting the way they are, and is incredibly fucking frustrated by how little sense the whole situation is makes. He knows it has to do with the fishball; he even brings it up himself when he's talking about the incident with Double D later. But he doesn't understand why that was wrong. He doesn't get how something so inconsequential in his own mind could be so hurtful to Rolf, and he is either incapable of, or refuses to acknowledge, that just because it wasn't a big deal to him, doesn't mean it can't be a big deal to someone else. (We call this ~theory of mind~ btw and it's a big component of empathy.)

Another favorite of mine, Little Ed Blue. I've talked about this scene before because I love it for a lot of reasons, and one of those reasons is the insight we get into how Eddy's emotions have probably been addressed by those around him in the past. I mean, jeez, this is Ed! He's one of Eddy's most important people! A true and dear friend he's had since he was a toddler and one of the few people in the world who outwardly likes him and gets along with him. And what does he do when Ed's having a bad day? Calls him a wuss, laughs at him, invalidates his feelings, and tells him to get over himself. This is some grade fucking A asshole behavior, even for Eddy. And yet he does it easily without a shred of guilt, convinced this is the correct way to address a friend who's in the throes of misery. I mean, just look at this face.

Has Ed ever made a face like that? His feelings got fucking hurt man. (also, as a sibling, I can say that this is categorically the most Sibling moment between Eddy and Ed in the entire show.)

IMO, someone with a repressed nurturing side wouldn't be that baffled by how Rolf is reacting or be that cruel to their own best friend. This looks more like someone who genuinely has a low amount of empathy. So what's actually going on? Do I think Eddy is just some cold, uncaring asshole? Of course not! He's a traumatized 12 year old kid who's endured intense physical abuse. Cruelty was normalized for Eddy at a very young age. Why should Rolf be so upset about a fishball? It's not like Eddy beat him or something. And what's Ed got to be so miserable about? Men shouldn't act like wusses. Men are supposed to just get over it. And how could Eddy be wrong for thinking these things? It's what he was taught, after all. He learned these behaviors from his hero, after all. This is all he knows. This is what makes sense to him. It's Rolf and Ed who are being ridiculous.

That kind of stunted growth to someone's empathy isn't something so easily fixed. This is why I don't headcanon or write a more grown up Eddy as someone who learns he doesn't have to repress his nurturing side anymore; I see him as someone who's learned that nurturing and empathy are part of the whole "having friends" deal. He's learned that nurturing and empathy are what's considered normal, learned that it's what's expected of any decent human being, man or not. He's also learned, a la BPS, that you have to be a good friend to have good friends. It doesn't come naturally to him. It's gonna take a lot of hard work and growth on his part. But even if Eddy doesn't always understand why he needs to be gentler, needs to just listen, needs to offer a shoulder to cry on, that doesn't mean he won't do it for the sake of his friends. Because even if empathy ain't his strong suit, even if being empathetic is hard fucking work, he still genuinely and wholeheartedly cares about his friends and cares about doing right by them.

[ryind]

genuine question how do i know if I'm arospec or not (and acespec for that matter)

like is there a difference between emotional and romantic attraction and if so what is it. because on the one hand some people give me butterflies? but also those same people i don't experience sexual attraction for? and then vice versa?? and i can't sift out just wanting closeness with someone in a platonic versus romantic way ESPECIALLY because exclusivity of any kind has always baffled me so now I'm just here ig

Like I have an unconventional experience with attraction to the point that I Do Not know how to label it. Very confusing. What am i

(an idiot sandwich)

also being non binary makes for the weirdest understanding of sexuality ever. like? sometimes I am sex repulsed? Sometimes I am Not??? Is this from dysphoria? I cannot tell. It's anybody's guess what the Vibe is gonna be any given day

ALSO the desire for sex to simultaneously be the Most meaningful act of vulnerability and connection but on the flip side something that doesn't effect your relationship with that person and is essentially Just For Funsies

[hughjidiot]

Total Drama Island Reboot Season Two: Episodes 2, 3 and 4

Okay wow, was not expecting three new episodes at once. Again I am baffled by both the local and international release schedules. But I'm continuing to watch and enjoy this reboot, here are my rough impressions of all the characters in all three episodes. Spoilers below the cut, obviously.

Chase is out second. Pretty obvious boot with how he behaved in the challenge, but that's just how TDI is sometimes. Glad he went early if I'm being honest since his whole subplot with Emma had run its course and there wasn't much more to get out of Chase. Speaking of which though...

Emma was out fourth, which kind of surprised me. I thought she might get an arc of finally forgetting about Chase and moving on, but then she goes and gets eliminated. Maybe they're saving an Emma arc for if gen 4 gets a third season? Who knows. A little disappointing but not a huge loss.

And between them, Millie is out third. Not surprising if I'm being honest; Millie had a chance to train up to be a stronger player with Priya's help, but neglected to actually study for it. And then in episode 2 when she tries to think creatively to help her team win, her lack of social skills is what did her in when she failed to consider how pissed her team would be for tricking Damien down the most dangerous slide. Her elimination feels like a natural consequence of her own actions and shortcomings instead of the contrived coincidences that Total Drama was guilty of many times in past seasons.

Then there's Damien himself. So far he still hasn't done a whole lot, but he's definitely shown to have become more self-confident with the way he called out Millie and how he was willing to brave that rickety bridge in episode 3. Time will tell if he makes it far.

Zee continues to be hilarious. Not really having much of an impact in terms of plotlines with other characters, but he always gets a laugh out of me. "Not thinking is my specialty!"

Gotta say, I thought Priya would have at least shown a little more of a reaction to her bestie being voted off. Still her plotline with Caleb is interesting. I can picture this leading to drama down the road where she realizes Caleb has just been trying to build an alliance rather than flirt with her. Or who knows, maybe Caleb will develop genuine feelings for her and it becomes a ship. Could go either way.

Speaking of Caleb, he represents the biggest difference between the writing of the reboot and previous seasons. Not once does the show portray him as antagonistic in trying to manipulate Priya into an alliance; he's just trying to form a strong partnership to make it farther in the game. Helps immensely that Caleb isn't actively cruel like Heather and Alejandro; he's genuinely chill despite his determination. Him literally carrying most of his team in episode 3 was awesome, not gonna lie.

Nichelle continues to dominate and be awesome in challenges. However I can't help but notice she's not really trying to get close to anyone, like Caleb is with Priya for example. I have a feeling that could come back to bite her if people vote her off for being a potential threat ala Caleb in season one.

I'm loving Axel so far. She's much better about being a team player but also hasn't lost her edge. I also like how we're getting depth to her, like her love of poetry. And then there's her romance with Ripper which I did not see coming. More on that later.

Holy shit, I was hoping for more of the MK/Julia alliance, but I wasn't expecting this much! I'm loving MK's unorthodox strategy of disguising as an intern to get inside information, it's very unique.

Oh and MKulia might become a thing. "Oh stop it, you'll make me blush!" "If MK's brain drove a cool car, I would totally date it." Watching these episodes I was like Wait are they gonna go there? Oh my god they might actually go there! And if they do, I am here for it!

Wayne and Raj continue to be very wholesome and hilarious! I love the dynamic they bring to Team Skunk Butt, wanting to play fair while Julia and MK cheat. And stuck in the middle...

is Bowie. I'm loving the drama of his character arc: he's still willing to pull the same underhanded tactics he used in season one and is all in on MK's strategy, but now has Wayne and especially Raj are acting as his morality pets. Some are predicting this could lead to a Rajbow break up, but I honestly don't think they'd do that. What I think will happen is Team Skunk Butt loses a challenge despite MKulia cheating again with Bowie's knowledge, Bowie feels terrible, and to make it up he offers to eliminate himself if one of the Hocky Bros is about to be voted off.

Last but not least, Ripper. Gonna be honest, he was my least favorite of gen 4 in season one; I didn't care for his focus on gross-out humor and he survived eliminations over characters I liked more. I didn't expect much from him going into season two so I was blindsided here. Not only is his gross out humor significantly toned down (but still present) but he proved to be quite endearing with his insecurity over his crush on Axel. I was especially stunned in episode four when he actually tried to connect with Axel's interest in poetry and actually wrote a poem for her, something I could never see season 1 Ripper doing. And Axel reciprocating with a kiss despite not seeming interested in him earlier? My haw hit the floor. Before I was hoping he'd be an early boot, but now I find myself actually wanting to see Ripper stick around and see where things go with him as a character and his potential relationship with Axel. I... actually like Ripper now, which is a sentence I never thought I'd say.

A few minor issues aside, I am loving this new season so far. I haven't genuinely enjoyed Total Drama since the original TDI 15 years ago.

[nanomooselet]

Episode Four: Hungry!

Full disclosure, it took me a while to warm up to Wolfwood.

I hadn't read the manga or watched the older adaptation. Didn’t know anything about him except his ridiculous gun and that he was a priest (hence the ridiculous gun, because anime). I couldn't figure out why he was present in the narrative, except... because he was in the manga and older adaption. It seemed a little indulgent; I wanted more time with Meryl. He wasn’t even a priest. Obviously Nick has plenty of homoerotic tension with Vash, but all due respect and sympathy to Vash/Wolfwood shippers, m/m pairings have always left me cold (to be fair, pairings generally do that irrespective of gender. Desire unfulfilled is more my speed).

Sad to say that I still don't ship Vash/Wolfwood, but I did definitely come to understand why people do and why they like the guy. Though am I the only one baffled that Vash gets cast as the virginal princess so often? After this look?

Whew. No wonder Wolfwood looks like he got hit with a two-by-four. Ahem.

This is a very necessary episode that feels maybe too "necessary", like they realised they needed to introduce everything it introduces and didn't leave enough time to integrate it all naturally. It's too tight, and Stampede is already a show so tight it squeaks. Still, I think blowing Wolfwood's cover before the day was out was, if not the only right decision, not a wrong one. Almost immediately this guy comes across as sketchy, half from that he's barely trying to act like he's not (which absolutely sends me; he really hates his job) and half that he's just... an awkward dude, angry and obviously hurt in a way he won’t admit to. And while we know there's more to Vash than his façade, it's hard to tell just how smart he really is, how perceptive, because this is Vash. Meryl is the type to show off her knowledge, because she's young and eager to prove herself. Vash is a creature of endless masks and insurmountable walls. He refuses to, as he sees it, burden anyone else with his thoughts.

So we do exactly what Zazie does in this episode: show Vash something wounded and vulnerable because he'd tear off his own skin if it would make things easier for someone else. Except instead Wolfwood is the one who feels a little too exposed, of course. It's so funny to me how obviously he didn't expect this? And how frustrated when he realises he'll have to drag this self-sacrificial lunatic all the way to July alive without becoming attached. I honestly think he failed in that latter part before they even got shot out of the Worm. Vash is just so loving, and so loveable.

Also, the Worm guys (as I mentally call them) might be my favourite minor characters next to Rosa and her offsiders. They're a hilarious audience to the madness. I’m glad they got so many dinners in one go.

And Zazie - what a great character, one I genuinely think is an improvement over prior incarnations rather than just being different from them. Nail game on point, entirely free of fucks given, and a sterling addition to the cast. I'll talk more about our buggy friend later, and I have more to say about Wolfwood besides that hitting him with the trailer forced me to pause the video until I stopped cackling.

Finally, the closing scene chills me in hindsight for a number of reasons, but what gets me the most is that it's a bookend. At the episode's start, Vash refused to eat. Wolfwood had to convince him to. And it's not that he can't use his Gate, it's that he's decided to keep it closed, so something will have to make him decide to lay bare his power once more.

And somehow, I can't imagine Knives asking nicely.

[goodluckclove]

(about the what keeps you from writing post) personally the thing that i struggle with when it comes to writing is just focus. i can't focus on writing for shit, and even if i really like an idea, it feels like it just never gets down on paper, you know

So, uh, I'm going into this under the assumption that you don't have something akin to ADHD. I have something in that vein, I think, but I don't know the extent of it and therefore do not feel qualified to give advice on how to manage it. Especially for a beginning writer, because if I'm on that spectrum it's definitely more hyper fixation than executive dysfunction at this point.

I have a colleague who comes to me a lot when she's struggling to focus on actually putting words to proverbial paper. What I usually say is something along the lines of If I were to tell you to write me a hundred words of your story right now, how would you react? What would you think?

If focus is not symptomatic when it comes to art, it usually has a meaning.

Maybe the idea is interesting, but you don't know where to start. If this is the case, good knows - you can just start literally anywhere. Preferably the angle that sounds the most interesting to you. Imagine you're eight years old and you have the whole afternoon to play in the park with your favorite toys, what would be the first thing you'd act out with them?

It might not be the right start for the finished project, but it's a start. Throwing words at the wall is a valid strategy for a lot of people, and it's better than doing nothing at all.

Or maybe it's different. Maybe you've been working on an existing idea and you've suddenly lost focus on it. Why keep writing, when you can instead scroll the Google Image search results that come up when you search "sweaters for rats"?

I've found when that happens, a quality answer is often to purposefully break your own rules. It's kind of an old NaNoWriMo trick that I'm frankly surprised I don't see more new writers using. I think there's a new culture in the scene where you need to start off with the exact methodology and craft of an established author, which baffles me endlessly. Not only is it patently untrue, but by doing this you're denying every new writer's God-given right to be a crazy fucking gremlin.

Stuck in your story? Kill a character. Make two other characters kiss. Add a fucking dream sequence. Oh but people won't like it buddy will you? Will it make you laugh or smile, or generally just be interested in your own story? Because that's what matters. That's what's going to give you a finished project. You can make it normal later if you want, but if you choose not to you'd also be making some crazy artistic gumbo and I will definitely be coming back for seconds.

The key is that it has to be something that you genuinely think is cool and funny and exciting and neat. Because you like it, not because you think other people will or because you think it makes you look better or more profound. If you use any weird trick or plot point in absolute, unironic earnestness, I genuinely believe the worst thing you'd end up with is a finished first draft that needs some restructuring.

Which doesn't sound too bad to me!

[terrence-silver]

terry and john with a beloved they've known since they were fresh out the war. the 80s roll along and beloved is met with two people they can hardly recognise and they hate what they've become. how would terry and john react? what would they do if beloved tried to leave?

---

John Kreese?

John would understand and fully predict this, because I think he's a man with the type of mindset where he believes that serving in a war sets him apart from other people by default. He feels he's meant to be a lone wolf due to it. That there will be people who hate him for being a veteran and that they're idiots and sniveling weaklings for doing so. Flat out. That's the price you pay for defending your country; you can't ever go back to what you used to be and you shouldn't be able to go back. That fighting in Vietnam is an unique sort of lifelong brotherhood --- the type of thing you had to be there for in order to comprehend it and that he'll never exactly be one with the civilians ever again because of it; maybe for the better. That it was inevitable he'd change the minute he hopped unto that army bus. He knew what he signed up for. He doesn't shrink that responsibility.

He feels superior, in a sense, yet he's a cynical realist in other ways.

If he had an old beloved friend or sweetheart that doesn't recognize him or even like him years after he's returned home, the surprise isn't that big for him and chances are, if he avoided them, he avoided them, partially, on purpose, believing there isn't that much point maintaining contact in spite of his feelings precisely because he's so changed and the disconnect, in his opinion, would be far too great and beloved should go and form circles and make a life with those more similar to themselves. To each their own. This doll ain't a Cobra. Shouldn't be hanging around Cobras. He might even bluntly tell them this if they press him on reasons why he's been so callous and if they prove to be relentless, he'll intentionally gaslight them to make them seem like the irrational one. He ain't above tactically insulting them to hurt their feelings enough to get them to leave. Anything to get them away from himself. They hate what he's become? For their own sake, they should distance themselves.

But, it's not himself John worries about. It's probably Terry.

Terry who wouldn't understand that beloved might not like what he's become.

Why?

Because Terry feels and knows he's much improved.

He's stronger, faster, better, smarter and richer than ever before!

And because, oh --- Terry's changed after the war. Like, genuinely changed. You could fairly easily recognize a post-war John and a pre-war John if you put them side by side, but Terry after Vietnam and before it are literally two different people and John Kreese might just warn beloved off precisely for this reason too, among a line up of many others, because he understands why Terry's the way Terry is, but beloved wouldn't. John knows why Terry's mannerisms are so changed. Why he adopted new speech patterns. What's the story behind that ponytail. He knows it all. Having been Terry's Captain in Vietnam, he might feel, in a weird way, responsible for him. To beloved, it all might seem scary, baffling, confusing, bizarre and something out of a horror story. Furthermore, John also knows that Terry isn't likely to let beloved go if their paths ever cross again, and chances are, he's never forgotten them either and has actively looked for them --- a search that doesn't last long at all, with his tenacity, connections and wealth at play. Once he finds them though, of course he's baffled beloved doesn't like what he's become. Unlike John, of course it takes him by surprise they want to run. Of course he's almost offended that they don't want to immediately move in with him, go for drinks, a vacation, and a dip in the jacuzzi to reminisce about the good, old days. But, no matter. Somehow, even beloved's distaste gets Terry going. In an odd way, it rouses him. He likes it. They've always belonged to him and John. Everything about them did. Their virtues. Their flaws. Every their hatred.

Now that the war is long since over?

Terry figures it's time to collect what was always theirs.

And by god, does John ever get dragged into it by a very vehement and stubborn Terry and starts, at first, begrudgingly participating in the hunt, initially, to make sure Terry doesn't go too far with you and that you don't get hurt, but eventually, him playing the sidelined referee and spectator Terry is 'putting up a show for' is a short lived thrill and he more than willingly begins relishing in hunting you down just as much as Terry does.

Turns out, there's no escaping these two.

Whoops.

[space-blue]

Opinions of Renata Glasc (or other piltover/zaun league characters) appearing in s2 Arcane?

EXCELLENT QUESTION....!!!!

I must admit Renata baffles me. In my fics, I've often brought her in either as Silco's childhood friend (who is mostly busy on business trips abroad during the few days of the show), or else as an obstacle for him in AU fics. Always alongside yet unrelated to Sevika.

But honestly? Her lore is baffling. Some people think she's Sevika post season 2, timeline wise. I think it would make enough sense, on an aesthetic front, with Sevikla being older, more scared and with white in her hair... But it'd be so OOC...

Sevika is extremely dedicated to 'the Cause' and actively keeping Silco in check. She's part of her community. She isn't the type to say 'fuck this', open a perfume business and fuck off alone Upside. Even with Silco dead and Jinx on the loose, I can't exactly accept it.

On a meta front, I don't understand why their new champion had to be a Sevika clone... with her lore specifying that the... bright pink chemical... isn't shimmer. Couldn't they do Sevika? She has a mechanical arm they could have added to. I genuinely do not get it.

Does she have a chance to appear in season 2? Your guess is as good as mine but my money is on no.

Riot making dumb choices is par for the course. The team behind Arcane clearly understand how to tell a story, and I don't think confusing viewers by adding a clone of an important side character to the story is on the menu. Not unless Renata is Sevika's big sis or something... But them having matching prosthetics is just too on the nose, you know?

There's also the fact no Zaunite has a last name, but Renata Glasc does. She's in a different sort of league, despite being a Zaunite.

OR — The crack solution : Sevika is currently pregnant, and Renata is her (far future) daughter.

[kiisaes]

YESSSSS! I will always say deku is sweet uwu sunshine boy but I'll also say he is feral bunny who will fuck your shit up! He is a mix between cute baby boy and feral gremlin! Katsuki is also a feral gremlin but in a different way! Izuku knows how to stand up for himself! He isn't a fragile flower that will brake if yelled at! And bakugo knows this! In an episode katsuki says, if it bothers him he'll tell me!, talking to tsu who was mad at him for yelling at izuku. (It was in the background so it may have been missed by some people)

yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just hate when ppl think deku being soft means he can't defend himself bc like ... cool. did we just completely ignore the entire first chapter/episode entirely. and how deku's stubbornness is literally what keeps him going. are we just making shit up now.

it still baffles me how in 2023, ppl STILL THINK that deku is the definitively weak, fragile, spineless victim that must enact revenge on his bully in order for bkdk's relationship to be valid. mha isn't a fucking revenge story 😭 deku has called out bkg's bullshittery so many times but never wishes ill will on him. he still wants to be bkg's friend and cares about him so so much. he isn't and never was the archetypal weakling that the bully aggressively torments and eventually traumatizes. and like .. sorry he doesn't play ur narrative lol. sorry he can't fulfill ur own bully revenge fantasies bc he chooses to have a good relationship with his former bully. sorry there's genuine mutual respect and care between bkdk now. SORRY THIS CHARACTER ARC ISNT ABOUT U.

I really don't care if ppl dislike bkdk for their own personal reasons but I've seen ppl actively harass and misinterpret bkdks to the point where it makes THEM look bad. u can enjoy ur own ship on ur own time, just don't proudly look like an idiot for essentially butchering ur understanding of the main 2 characters lol

[simlit]

3, 6, 7, 9, 13, 19, 22, 24, 25, for VEN

What is your OCs fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

In his current state? Probably his selflessness. He gives too much to people and has a hard time drawing lines if it's someone he deeply cares about. Case in point, letting Naida more or less railroad the entire family into chasing the Fountain of Youth. In his defense, Naida isn't really someone you can win fights against, but considering the dangerous nature of the voyage, one would think he should have fought against it a lot harder. I do think he's aware of it, but not in a way he can actively check, because it's a lot of him overcompensating for the way he used to be and the things he's done. So I guess a larger and probably more fatal flaw is the fact that he carries around so much guilt and does a lot in the name of reparations.

How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

Easily, but tbh I feel this is one thing Ven shares with Kato. His morals can be bent depending on who is involved and the consequence of the situation. Ven isn't standing on moral highground in the first place, despite understanding right and wrong well enough. He certainly doesn't care enough about authority not to break rules, and as far as life or death is concerned, a life will always matter less to him if they're at odds with someone he loves. That being said, I think he's resourceful enough to find ways around making risky choices.

What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Also a really fun question, cuz I haven't thought about it in years LOL. Though Ven stayed mostly the same from conception, he was supposed to be a bit more "roguish" even after his Reaper years. More of the typical pirate: loose, unkempt and thieving. But he ended up being way more charitable and straightlaced than I'd initially planned, but that ironed itself out almost immediately so I don't really consider it to have been "the plan" just "what I had had in mind at some point" lmao. Now the idea of Ven sleeping around with literally anyone is goddamn baffling to me.

Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

Every single word of his theme song, "The Balancer's Eye" by Lord Huron, but all of this: Nothing's waiting for us in the great sky Life is equal to dust in the Balancer's eye Now I know that I can't lift an old curse Tell me, how does a man change the universe? Will I ever be forgiven for the crime of my life? Will it haunt me till I die? To the end of time?

If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

I think Ven is one of the few characters I can genuinely answer "yes" to this question lmao. Just because Ven is hands down the least judgmental of my OCs, not to mention packing all that charisma, he can literally talk to anyone. Although I probably would just be dead on the floor so it wouldn't be a very interesting conversation.

How does your OC behave when enraged?

We so rarely see Ven angry. Honestly, a bit like Kyrie, Ven has a quiet temper. He's good at restraining himself now, because he knows intimately well just how horrible of a person he can be, so he makes a concerted effort never to let anything get him that upset. Mostly, things don't anger him as much as he may be disappointed or saddened. There is one scene in OST:O I've had planned for years that actually showcases Ven's true anger and it is very much "silent and lethal" lmao.

What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?

Oof, I dunno, somewhere between neutral good and chaotic neutral. Hard to pinpoint lol

What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone done? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

Oh, this one is interesting. I think Ven could have easily continued down the path he started on when he got the sight. That is, had he not been able to pull himself back from that maniacal person he'd become as consequence, he'd be unrecognizable today. That's not to say he isn't already because he absolutely was that person for a moment in time. The Reaper King wasn't just a persona, it was his entire essence. He was ruthless, violent and he did very literally kill dozens (I won't say 100s but it's up there) of people. We like to imagine him as the loving father and perfect husband he is now, but outside of maybe Elsera he's my OC with the highest bodycount. And while in a way you could justify he killed people because "they deserved to die" he was never in the right to pass that judgement. Had he not eventually woken up from that state of trauma and derangement, he'd still be a completely unstable murderous lunatic .-.

What is your favorite thing about your OC?

How hot he is. The end.

[pinkseas]

OKAY BUT. LAYLA SCARA FRIENDSHIP RIGHT. mmmmmmmgnmgnmbgnbgmm

starts with the wisdom seelie and other layla. scara does some investigating at nahida's request it all seems to come back to her but he can't manage to get actual proof, and it's not like she's doing harm? which is the important part. the advice she gives is good, pointing lost students in the right direction without doing all their work for them, and the pranks on students looking to take advantage of her are pretty funny. he leaves it alone.

students hide in the house of daena to stay and study after the doors are locked ALL the time. what they don't do very often, if ever, is break in to the house of daena at night. except for other layla and now hat guy, both of whom have very questionable schedules and plenty of reason for stealth. it's all well and good until they try breaking in at the same place, at the same time.

cue the split second of EXTREMELY awkward eye contact, immediately followed by the silent shared sentiment of i won't tell if you don't. so neither of them says a word about it, even as they run into each other more and more often. they're busy people. they can't exactly be bothered.

but there are rumors about hat guy, just as much as there are rumors about layla. and as much as scara has heard (and largely ignored) about the human calculator, other layla has heard the whispers about hat guy. how brilliant and well articulated his papers are, how he showed up out of nowhere, the fact that academically speaking he's kind of an asshole who refuses to soften the truth or hold anything back.

and here's the thing: as much as she doesn't want layla to be stressed out, as much work as they already have on their plate, other layla wants to learn. she wants to challenge herself and push through it all and get better and learn more with every passing day. and that's a lot harder to do alone than with help.

people at the akademiya are logical, sure, often to a fault, but apparently hat guy is ruthless and that's perfect. she is, of course, completely willing to be ruthless right back at him, something she's sure other students (at least, those who don't have their heads shoved up their asses) are far too afraid to attempt.

the next time they run into each other, she asks him to critique her thesis. which is fucking baffling. he doesn't know a damn thing about rtawahist's studies and he tells her as much. to which other layla points out that SHE doesn't know more than the basics of vahumana's studies, but it's not like it would be hard to learn. she's not asking him for a favor. it's equal exchange, obviously. now is he going to read her paper or not?

and it's a little annoying on hat guy's end, but there's also a begrudging respect there. and, admittedly, it would be useful to have someone to look over his own shit who wouldn't waste time or hold back.

the single night very quickly turns into routine, meeting twice a week or so to viciously tear each other's papers to fucking shreds before swapping back and reworking whatever is necessary. it's easy and it's useful and it works for both of them, and neither of them ever ask for more than studying together at night, which is a relief for them both in more ways than one.

hat guy finally running into or even seeking out daylight layla for a last-minute question about one of his papers only for her to stare blankly at him, stammering out something about not being familiar with vahumana's studies followed by an even more cautious im really, really sorry, but have we met?

and she seems so genuinely apologetic and uncharacteristically nervous and her posture and even her voice are different and as much as he wants to get pissed off at her for very likely pretending not to know who he is when they're around other people, he remembers some of those first rumors. the human calculator, the heaven-sent thesis, the sleepwalking eccentric. leaves it be, at least for now.

the next time they meet he stares at her for a long, long moment, and she stares right back until he goes 🤨 sleepwalking? and she blinks and flashes him the most brilliant smile and goes yeah, actually. layla is asleep right now. she won't remember any of this in the morning. and he fucking gapes at her because That's Not Sleepwalking. you KNOW that's not sleepwalking, right??? and all she does is shrug and ask if they're gonna study or what

snowballing from there. hat guy seeking layla out during the day because he's kind of pissed, kind of suspicious, and really curious, only to grow more and more certain that yeah, there are two of them. and neither of them are a danger in the slightest. could be if they chose to be, sure, but they couldn't be further from doing that.

coming to respect daylight layla a lot, too, because akademiya students are usually entitled fucking assholes but she's unsure of herself and she's quiet and isolated and she doesn't feel she belongs or deserves to be here but she also hasn't quit, not once, hasn't given up or ever taken the "blessing from the stars" for granted.

joining her sometimes for commissions and eventually teaching her how to use a catalyst because he knows her, knows that when she really wants to learn something she learns it in and out, if she actually gave a fuck about using a sword she wouldn't be swinging it around like a baseball bat.

(learning, eventually, that layla flourishes with a catalyst but other layla is damn good with the sword and it's probably in her best bet to keep them both on her person)

them becoming actual friends and layla slowly becoming more and more confident and them being able to tease each other and being really good influences on each other in terms of believing in themselves and feeling like they might actually belong her and the potential for layla to have a really fucking long lifespan without really knowing it and them navigating that and

all of these are from my notes for a layla-centric fic that i desperately need to write so i have the layla side of it much more thought out but oughghghghgh wanderer making normal friends and just having fun and fucking around and being able to do stupid shit but also being respected and cared about and thought of even when he's not around and and and and and and