#also funny story I thought the prompt was for the goat

[therekinperson]

5 - Peer into the Darkness - @/stych-stychu's Cotltober

[2] [4]

[britishassistant]

The collectivel group of Yuus (an Exasperation of Yuus?) have been put through the wringer lately, might I suggest pranks at the expense of villainous embarrassment?

(Corvid Prompts is a writing prompt blog that has a lot of Hero/Villain/Vigilante story ideas. Many of which encourage writers to break out of a typical plot for such genres. I got this idea from them.)

Since they all work under the same League, what petty pranks would the villainous groups pull on each other for the hell of it?

Who would send a goat (or other farm animal) to another hide out to as a reminder to an unfortunate (but funny) goat related incident that happened in the past?

Another incident where during another League thing out of town/country where a pair (from different groups) had to pretend to be married to get out of a mess? What jokes are made for the lack of "wedding" and subsequent "divorce"?

Who fills the entire lair of a villain with plastic balls as disproportionate retribution for taking the last muffin?

You don't need to write anything, but just imagine the insanity? Can you imagine Yuu in any form just exasperated?

Thank you for the ask, dear anon!

Well, Poison Queen’s already pulled the “prank” of attempted love potioning, though that did backfire rather spectacularly on him. Epel would like to say he’s good at pulling them, but Vil’s usually easily able to avoid them. He’s had much more luck with the other rookie minions though!

Rook pulls a prank every time he says he’ll fight White Neige.

Royal Flush would never be caught dead indulging in something as puerile as a prank!… But if he makes the appropriate suggestions to his minions and just so happens to leave plans for them around? Well. He can hardly control everything they do, now can he?

Ace and Deuce are the best at following those and tag teaming to ensure they work, while Trey and Cater specialize in innovating to cover any potential pitfalls. Ace also pulls pranks on Deuce and the rest of Heartslabyul regularly, but woe betide him when his seniors decide that he’s had enough fun, and team up with Deuce for some payback.

Leona loves stealing whatever he can get his hands on from his rival supervillains. If they have it, he wants it, for no other reason than ruining their day when they realize it’s missing. Unsurprisingly, “whatever he can get his hands on” usually ends up being “Yuu the Reporter”.

Ruggie has a very similar mindset, in that he’ll only pull a prank if there’s something physical he gets out of it in return. Usually food.

Jack will not mastermind pranks, because he is a Good Boi. Doesn’t mean he won’t join in on one someone else has thought up.

Azul considers himself too professional to “pull a prank” as the kids say, but he will gladly point Jade and Floyd at his inconveniences dear colleagues and watch the sparks fly.

Floyd has an abiding fondness for large quantities of anything small, plastic, and loud. Jade prefers noxious, brightly colored substances that are a pain to wash out of clothing or architecture.

Kalim is the master of accidental pranks! He genuinely doesn’t mean to get people soaking wet or make their food too spicy or tea too sweet! But if everyone is laughing, he’ll laugh with them!

Jamil doesn’t do pranks. Jamil does retaliation.

One of the small joys of Idia’s life is getting one over on these Luddite normies. If he just wants a quick pick me up, a virus that constantly plays an annoying song on loop or hides files is always a fun way to spend the day. If he’s feeling vindictive, mass ordering insects or livestock to be sent to their lairs is an old favorite.

Ortho will also gleefully participate in his Nii-san’s pranks!! They’re so fun!! However, if Idia hasn’t gotten enough nutrients or fresh air recently, Ortho’s not above pulling a prank or two of his own…

Malleus once tried to prank a NRC conference by balancing a bucket of water on the doorframe. He had no way of knowing that Yuu was going to be sneaking in to eavesdrop and would end up getting drenched.

Lilia isn’t allowed to prank anyone anymore. Not when his pranks verge on the level of psychological warfare.

It’s very, very rare, but Silver occasionally pulls pranks by falling asleep somewhere inconspicuous and summoning inconvenient wildlife to his location. No one ever suspects he can do it on purpose.

Sebek has tried to pull pranks before. He gets too impatient and always accidentally spoils it before the payoff.

Jade and Trey have had to fake getting engaged at least once in order to avoid getting found out as minions during a Fae Incorporated(TM) sponsored gala.

Trey has also had to pretend he was married to Rook in order to maintain cover at another, completely separate event.

Jade and Rook like to tease poor Trey about his “infidelity”. Floyd once tried to beat up Trey for his brother’s honor.

Trey still isn’t quite sure whether he was serious or not.

[hoshigray]

Spread love to fanfic writers! Answer these questions about your fanfics then send this to 5 other fanfic writers 💙 Name a fic you loved writing the most. Name a fic that others loved but you didn’t care for as much. Name a fic you had the most fun writing. Name a fic that you are the most proud of. Name a fic that you wish had gotten more recognition. Name your happiest/saddest/most comedic fics!

mona bearrrr !! omg, i appreciate this as this gives me time to look through all the pieces I've worked on. So hmmmm....

Loved Writing the Most: Old Tricks, Same Treats is my pride and joy. Sure, it's my most popular work, but it means a whole lot to me to make a story with my favorite character with my favorite trope and make it come out in the way I actually envisioned! Like I think about it all the time; how it makes me proud that I made that piece and how I wish to make a series for it when I get the time.

Others Loved; I Didn't: mmmmm I'mma be real with you; none really come to mind. but, if I had to really pick, maybe Gotta Have "U" in Sugar??? idk, at the time of writing it, I thought it was a pretty good concept. But now, it was my first long fic and tbh, I think I could do a better job structuring the story or actually have Toji be, well, Toji. i don't know....maybe a concept I can pick up again? who knows.

Most Fun to Write: Omgggg I'd give that to Sink Your Teeth to Drink!! that was my second time writing for Choso (sadddd i love him sm) and it was with a prompt that fit him so well!! I tried to make it as cute and funny as possible, but also hot and steamy, ya know. omg, I just realized I never proofread that one.....might have to fix that ngl, hehe.

Most Proud Of: I'd give that to SMASH or SLASH[er]!! tbh. It was the first fic I got to make after my one or two-month hiatus from fanfic writing. And not only was it my first time writing a threesome fic (holy shit!!), but I believe this was a pivotal point for me in terms and a foundation for how I write fics as of now. I owe this fic a lot for my growth, so I'm still kinda psyched about writing it myself.

Wished Had More Recognition: I'd say I Can Drink Your Sorrow for this one. It was my first time writing a full fic for Gojo, so I kinda get how it didn't get traction. However, I did put a lot of heavy emotion into the story and tried to make it not about the smut. It's a pretty mild yet messy story, esp at the end.

Most "______" Fic:

Happiest: Bear Mine is probabaly it, bc 1) i'd love to have babies with toji lmfaooo, 2) I love having the opportunity to explore toji's vulnerable side when I can. Whenever I go back and read this, I can't stop fighting the smile as I read! Like yes, Toji having happiness in his life which he deserves!?? Sign me up!! and tbh, a close second would be this fic as well...

Saddest: I Can Drink Your Sorrow; again, has a lot of heavy emotion because I wanted the reader to actually feel the goat from Gojo's perspective and what he was doing. I guess I wouldn't say it's "sad," but the way he beats himself up over what he did (which is valid) is a bit heart-wrenching.

Comedic: lol i think that one goes to Seven Hellish Minutes of Heaven; idkkkk i guess it's bc i modleled from conversations with my friends to make the bickering and insults between reader and Gojo seem more realistic, but funny at the same time, ya know? I think writing for him is where I find it easiest to come up with comedy dialogue, so (as of recent) I'd say this is my most funniest.

And that's it, really!! Honestly, this was kinda hard to do as I don't usually go back on the things I write — especially the old ones, lol. But tysm for this, mona dearest, love ya mwah !! 💓

[oldguy56-world]

Murder by Death

I am not sure what prompted this line of thinking. Perhaps it was all the binge-watching of crime dramas on TV during the pandemic. Maybe it was being on the jury of a murder trial. Could be all the violence in the world the news shows every day. I don't know. I do know it is not because there is anyone I want to kill. (a couple could use some roughing up but that is as far as I will go.)

What I have learned through my diligent research (on TV) is never kill anyone in a city where Sherlock Holmes, Columbo, Adrian Monk, Jessica Fletcher or Hercules Poirot live or are visiting. They will find the truth through some mind numbing deductions based on the smallest amount of evidence. They also have a way of getting people to confess when confronted with this flimsy evidence. Real life criminals just say one word, 'LAWYER!' After this proclamation all this speculation goes away. Somehow this is justice.

They say the perfect murder would be to just kill someone at random with no motive. Perhaps but that is getting into psychopathic-serial killer territory. That is not most of us.

Are there ways to commit the perfect crime? Perhaps, but you have to be cunning, inventive, devious, and have time on your hands. (Wait a minute! That describes me.) How would I go about it (besides avoiding the locales where the above detectives reside)? Well without incriminating myself, here are some potential thoughts on the subject.

Invite your victim to go to the beach with you. Tell them you will bring the sunscreen. Get a popular brand and put some seal oil into it. Why? Sharks love seal. They have a great sense of smell. Let nature take its course. If you cannot get seal oil put some blood in it and tell them it is a new pink lotion. Lather them up generously. FYI this does not work if you are just going to the YMCA for a swim or any public pools.

Clone yourself. (Remember I said you have to have time on your hands). They become the perfect alibi as you can send them anywhere public at the time of the killing. If you are lucky enough to have a twin this will work too.

This one involves a nun, a goat and a dwarf. Sorry, that is an old joke I am thinking of, and in reality while funny it never killed.

Confess to killing them months before they actually are murdered. Do it several times. Authorities will deem you crazy and they will suspect someone is using all of these confessions to frame you.

If you want to murder someone because they are just so annoying arrange for them to spend a lot of time with someone else you know that has no patience and a short fuse. They will take care of the problem for you.

Take care of yourself so that you live a long life and they pass away before you. Wasn't that the goal in the first place?

Walk up to them in public and shoot them. When you are arrested just keep saying 'Zargon the Purifier commanded I do this." Never change your story. Who couldn't use a nice long rest in a peaceful hospital room?

I am not advocating murder. This is intended as entertainment only. No person associated with me was hurt in the production of this blog.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: The world would be a much safer place if everyone was more patient and tolerant.

[chenziee]

Here's a fun prompt for you..

Au where’s Law's a marine admrial purposely misinterpret the orders of taking care of Strawhats, and especially take out Strawhat Luffy...much tothe dismay of the world government and the enjoyment the Strawhats...

Thank you so so much for this prompt! It was so fun to work with and I really hope to explore it more than what I’ve got so far :D Seriously, thank you, I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writng <33

Also sorry for being so slow;;

—————

Take out as in on a date, right?

[read on AO3 or below the cut]

Being called into the Fleet Admiral’s office first thing in the morning wasn’t Law’s favourite way to start a day. He supposed it wasn’t the poor messenger’s fault but he also couldn’t have been bothered to play nice when he got woken up after a grand two hours of sleep—sleep that he damn well deserved after an entire night out on a mission—and so he only glowered at the marine standing by the door to his room, hoping his stare would convey the displeasure he was feeling and make the man go the hell away.

Sadly, even though the pink haired Captain cowered under Law’s sharp glare, he stood his ground. “I’m sorry, Admiral, but the Fleet Admiral said it’s urgent,” he rattled off, speaking fast and unnecessarily loud, even waving his hands in front of himself as if he could deflect Law’s wrath if he tried hard enough.

“He always says that,” Law muttered, letting go of a frustrated groan. “Fine, I’ll be right there. There better be enough coffee to wake up an entire battleship by the time I get to his office.”

“Yessir!” The Captain, Cobie or something, Law was pretty sure, saluted before high tailing it out of Law’s room. Probably off to make the coffee himself.

Law only shook his head before letting himself fall face-first back into his pillow.

Five more minutes couldn’t hurt, right?

—————

“I called you in here three hours ago,” Sengoku said tiredly, tapping his fingers against his desk as he leaned back in his chair, regarding Law with a displeased stare.

Law thought to himself that if anyone had the right to sound tired, it was him, but he knew better than to provoke his grandfather when he was already this agitated. Law may have had zero respect for authority but he also didn’t have a death wish.

So instead, he only blinked slowly and sipped on his coffee. “Well, I’m here now. What did you want?”

Sengoku took a deep breath, looking like he was ready to chew Law out for his lack of enthusiasm but after meeting Law's blank gaze, he deflated. Instead, he simply rubbed the bridge of his nose and Law felt like he was having a flashback to when he was 13 and Cora-san first brought him to headquarters. Back then, Sengoku was also constantly getting angry at Law's jaded, nihilistic attitude before catching himself.

And Law was grateful to him for that. After Cora-san had explained who Law was, what had happened to him in Flevance and then later with Doflamingo, Sengoku always took great care not to lose patience with Law, showing him just as much respect and love as Cora-san did, no matter how badly Law acted.

And even though Law did give him as much cheek as he did to everyone else in a position of authority—or anyone under the World Government in general—he still loved his grandfather regardless.

Right now, however, it looked like Sengoku was closer to snapping at Law than he ever was in the past. Which was funny, because Law didn’t recall doing anything to incur his boss’ wrath. Not in the past 24 hours at least.

“Care to explain this report of yours?” Sengoku finally hissed.

Law frowned, picking up the papers that were pushed in his general direction. It was the report he had submitted late last night, a recount of the mission Sengoku himself had sent him on. And for once, he had followed his orders to a T so he had to wonder what exactly the issue was.

He turned to the side to look at Cora-san, who was sitting on the couch while Sengoku’s pet goat chewed on his coat. His dad only shrugged, accidentally spilling his own coffee all over his lap, and offering Law no explanation. So, the Admiral turned back at Sengoku. “I don’t understand,” he said, raising an eyebrow as he tossed the report back at the Fleet Admiral’s desk.

Sengoku let go of a sharp breath. He pulled the papers towards himself, flipping through them until he found the part he wanted and started reading out loud. “He was surprised at first but agreed immediately. His crew wasn’t too happy about me stealing their captain but he told them not to follow us. So, we went alone, thank fuck. I really wasn’t looking forward to eating while having to babysit all the other idiots as well.

“We ended up going to this cute place at the port since he wanted to be close to the ocean. Made them give us their best table with a view—the stupid Admiral thing is good for something at least. We ate (bill attached, thanks) and talked for a long while. I can’t be bothered to recount all that, but I want it to be known he waves his hands around a lot when excited and it’s really cute.

“After the place ran out of food, he took my hand to drag me off and we took a walk around the beach. I told him to just call me Law again but he keeps insisting on calling me Torao. Said he likes it because it “makes him feel warm” and I couldn’t say no to that face. I kissed him. And I think I’m really in love.”

Sengoku stopped reading then. He slammed his hand down at the report, anger radiating off of him as he glared at Law with his jaw clenched. “Are you going to keep playing dumb with me?” he growled when Law didn’t say anything.

Law simply returned his gaze impassively. “I don’t see the issue. I was on a mission and this is the mission report.”

“This is not a report, it’s a goddamned love letter!” Sengoku finally snapped and Law had to bite his cheek to stop himself from snorting at the way the Fleet Admiral's eye twitched in irritation. “Your orders were clear. Either arrest or kill Straw Hat Luffy before he causes even more trouble!”

Making sure his face was perfectly straight, Law looked Sengoku in the eyes and slowly replied, “You said, and I quote, ‘Take Straw Hat out before the Five Elders drive me insane.’”

Heavy silence settled over the room. Law watched calmly as Sengoku’s expression went from confused to surprised to completely blank before his entire face twisted in anger. It took the old man a while to form a coherent sentence but when he finally spoke up, his tone of voice was ice cold and obviously forced to stay level. “You know damn well what I meant.”

“Maybe,” Law couldn’t help but say, quickly hiding his smirk behind his coffee cup.

Sengoku took a deep breath, seemingly puffing up and Law thought he would finally explode but then he looked at Cora-san instead. “Roci, you try and tell him something!”

Law tilted his head back, looking at Cora-san expectantly. He paused from where he was now trying to get Baarbara the goat to let go of his pack of cigarettes and looked up. First at Sengoku, then his eyes slid to his son. “Good job, Law, I told you you could do it,” he said seriously and Law’s smirk only widened at his words.

“ROCI!” Sengoku shouted for the first time, making Cora-san jump, his cigarettes flying out of his hands and out the window.

At least he wouldn’t be setting himself on fire anytime soon, Law thought to himself as he shook his head at the man’s fumbling.

“What, dad? I’m just happy he’s happy,” Cora-san said, sitting back in the couch as if nothing happened.

“Normally I would agree but not in this case. You’re his father, do something about this before anyone hears about it!” Sengoku ordered, gesturing between Law and his report.

Cora-san exchanged a look with Law before tilting his head at Sengoku. “You want me to scold him for breaking the rules? Me, who burned down like five hospitals for him when he was little?”

A few beats of heavy silence passed before—

“You did what?!”

—————

It was only an hour later, after Sengoku thoroughly chewed both his son and grandson out, that Law and Cora-san were finally able to leave the Fleet Admiral’s office, and even though Law stopped paying attention five minutes in, he was still glad that was over. He could only listen to an old man go on and on about law and marines and pirates and hospitals for so long before wanting to go drown himself.

“So it’s been two years,” Cora-san noted as they set off together in search of more coffee for Law. “Can I meet your boyfriend now that you finally had a proper date?”

Law chuckled at how eager Cora-san sounded. He had been bothering Law over this since he and Straw Hat started dating and Law would be lying if he said he wasn’t starting to cave. “I don’t know if I can deal with the both you and his crew of idiots at the same time.”

“Why?” Cora-san whined.

“Because,” Law started slowly, shooting Cora-san a look, ”I feel like someone would end up drowning by the end of it and I’m not sure I would be willing to save either of you. You’d probably end up pulling out some baby pictures or something else stupid.” And Law really really wasn’t up for dealing with that.

“I wasn’t going to! But thank you for the idea.” He smiled brightly, and Law wanted to be mad at him but he couldn’t—not when he looked at him like that.

One more reason to keep the two of them away from each other. Embarrassing sharing of childhood and love confession stories aside, Law’s heart probably wouldn’t be able to handle two of these blinding grins at once. He would just end up agreeing to anything these two idiots came up with.

[prinx-tam]

So I messed up and got the date wrong but here’s my @sanderssidesgiftxchange story for @youronelesbianfriend ❣️Sorry I was late and I hope you enjoy it.

Prompt:

Urban fantasy/highschool au where Patton is a stereotypically 'evil' creature. And struggles from a young age because of it. Enter Roman who is like hs popular kid class president type. I'm thinking of a fake friendship and/or fake relationship type thing. Like someone dares roman to hang out with patton. But roman ends up with feelings, patton finds out angst ensues then much comfort

Story: Fantastic Lies

AO3 link: Here

“Okay, well you should definitely ask him out to the dance, Roman.” Dee gave him a look that Roman dreaded. Something bad was going to happen and Roman was sick at the thought of being dragged into another of Dre’s schemes.

It was another cold day at school and Roman sat in their drafty cafeteria with Dee and Remus. The three were High Elves; they had gold hair and long pointy ears. Dee had the calculating glance of the most discerning elves. Remus had the backhanded snark but also the filthiest of imaginations. Together they ruled the popular crowd of magical beings at school.

Roman decided to play dumb. “I’m not interested in him like that. He’s a troll and I’m an elf.”

“Yeah, a high elf! Imagine the scandal of our prince consorting with a bridge dweller,” Remus said, laughing.

Roman scowled. “There’s no need to be rude, Remus. Patton is a good troll.” It turned his stomach to think of doing anything to the gentle soul. He knew Dee and Remus enjoyed watching the bullies of the school torment the ’lower beings’ but hadn’t thought of his friends as bullies.

Dee ignored him and looked at Remus. “That’s why it’s so funny, Remus. The sight of the two of them together? Gentle giant and perfect prince! It’s hilarious.”

“I don’t think it’s funny,” Roman stated. He pushed his tray away and folded his arms.

Dee waved her hand flippantly. “Oh come on. Do it for me. Invite him to the dance or I spill your secret, black thumb.”

“You wouldn’t!” Roman hissed, glancing around the table. He touched the necklace under his shirt as if he could protect it.

Dee arched an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t I?” When it came to magic users, Dee was fiendishly good. Roman dreaded the thought of Dee turning on him.

“That’s the most twisted thing I’ve ever heard a fairy say, Dee.” Remus said with a grin.

“Roman, you’re going to invite the little bridge boy to the dance and we’ll all have a good laugh when you don’t pick him up,” Dee explained, picking up his fork. “It’ll be fun to see his tormented little face at school the next day.”

As far as pranks went, this did seem pretty mild to Roman. “How am I going to convince him I really want to take him? There’s no way he’d believe me.”

Dee shrugged. “You’re a smart boy, Princey. You’ll figure it out. Now go.”

***

Patton’s stomach twisted as he sat alone in the cafeteria. He missed his friend Logan this year; the leprechaun always knew what to say to make him feel better. They’d made an odd pair, a leprechaun and a troll. But Logan was on the educational fast track, already taking college courses at the community college for most of the day. Logan would be back after lunch.

Unlike the stereotypes, trolls weren’t stupid. Patton could read and write, although math gave him some trouble. Given the usual group look of confusion in his math class, Payton suspected he wasn’t the only one. His grades were average. This didn’t stop certain classmates from asking where his goats were or telling him to get back under his bridge.

As he picked at the horrible school mashed potatoes, Patton tried to tune out the noise around him and settle his nerves. It was hard, he’d caught glances from several kids at the popular kids table. If they were looking at him, Patton was sure there’d be trouble.

He briefly debated ditching his lunch and heading to the library before remembering it was closed today due to water damage. A nymph came to school with a cold and she’d managed to soak the entire computer lab when she sneezed. The embarrassment she must’ve felt made Patton wince just thinking about it. He resolved to send her a get well card. Patton just hoped she wouldn’t mind a stock one; he never knew what to write.

Lost in get well card contemplation, he missed the first few times the other student cleared his throat. Patton was so oblivious he hadn’t even heard him approach. Finally, he felt a tap on his arm. Jumping back, Patton slid down the bench away from the touch.

“Woah, sorry! Didn’t think I’d snuck up on you. You seemed a little zoned out but I just wanted to talk?” Patton turned red as he realized who was speaking to him. It was Roman, a statuesque High Elf.

High Elves were everything trolls were not. Beautiful, for starters. Their ears and noses tended towards pointy instead of bulbous. Their golden hair flowed like light made solid. Roman’s eyes were an unusually vivid green. He was lithe yet strong, like a tree in a breeze. He was also the class president of their year, president of the student council, on the basketball team and wildly popular with girls and guys across nearly every race and grade.

Roman was also openly gay. He’d dated a few guys last year but his last relationship reportedly ended in the summer. Patton was open too, but only because he was in the GSA club with Logan.

Realizing he was staring, Patton stammered. “I-I-oh! Is there something I can help with? Set up for some event?” Usually the council passed around a sign up sheet for help with decorations or other service projects, but Patton couldn’t imagine what Roman would want with him besides that.

“Oh no, nothing like that. I was just wondering if I could sit with you?” Roman asked.

Patton’s eyebrows shot up. “With me? Why aren’t you sitting with your friends?”

“Uh, well,” Roman grabbed his neck sheepishly. Without being invited, he sat across from Patton and leaned forward. “I hear that you’re good with plants. I didn’t know that was a troll thing…I mean, I don’t know if that’s like a stereotype or if it’s just you…”

“It’s a stereotype,” Patton said plainly. Roman coughed and looked away. “Oh, but it’s also true in my case. You didn’t offend me.”

Roman looked back at him and smiled. “Thanks. I was worried there. Look, my parents are away for the week and they left me with one of their priceless magical flowers they use at the hospital. Problem is I’m total crap with plants and they don’t look right. Can you please come to my place today and look at them?”

“Uh, sure!” Patton said before he could grasp the significance of the request. “If it’ll help your parents help sick creatures, then I’d be happy to help.”

Roman’s smile was quickly becoming Patton’s favorite thing. “Thank you!” Roman said warmly. “I’ll drive you there and then take you home afterwards.”

“Uh, I don’t really fit into most cars,” Patton said glumly.

“I drive a truck. Worst case, we stick you in the bed and you hold on.” Roman stood up. “Oh, if you’re comfortable with that, of course.”

Patton nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been in trucks. That could work.”

“Perfect. Meet me by the student parking lot,” Roman said.

“Okay,” Patton said, but Roman was already heading back to his table.

Patton sighed at his food and stood up. His stomach would be in knots all day now.

***

As he waited, Patton checked his reflection in a puddle. His big nose and thick eyebrows were as unsightly as ever. But his bushy, gravity-defying hair was the biggest tip off to his parentage. Troll men were supposed to be able to grow beards at an age younger than even dwarves but Patton was a baby-face still.

He felt he didn’t fit in anywhere, not with other races and not amongst his own kind. All his brothers were dropouts or expelled for fighting. Patton wasn’t grumpy as other trolls were and he was good with plants. It was a troll stereotype, but usually among troll women. Troll men worked security or construction or as toll-workers.

His physique was broad, but he was shorter than most troll men. The end result was him looking like what his mother somewhat affectionately called a walking refrigerator. Having been bullied about hygiene, Patton was scrupulously clean and used a strawberry scented lotion. His brothers called him all sorts of things but his mother appreciated having one son she could let in the house without threatening to turn the hose on them first.

Most cars couldn’t accommodate even his relatively short (6’ 6” without his hair) height. As he glanced at Roman’s truck, he hoped the front seat was a bench instead of bucket seats. He still wouldn’t be able to use the seatbelt effectively but it would be safer than the bed of the truck.

Finally, Roman appeared. His feet seemed to leave no mark on the wet winter grass nor on the mostly melted snow. “Ready? Let’s see if we can squeeze you in?”

As it turned out, the seat was a bench and the ceiling just barely grazed his scalp. His hair would be flat on top for a bit but he would live. Patton stuck his elbow out of the window and tried to sit back far enough to let Roman see out of his side of the car. Roman seemed to have no trouble and Patton spotted the back-up camera screen between them. Roman got out of his Student Council President reserved spot and the student lot in hardly any time at all.

Patton wondered if they would talk but he was saved from trying to make conversation by Roman hitting his radio. Half expecting some frou frou classical station or easy listening, Patton was somewhat stunned to hear the troll rap and metal station.

“Is this okay?” Roman asked.

Patton shrugged. “I listen to whatever. My favorite station is KFRY though.”

“Fairy pop!?” Roman asked, looking at him for a concerning amount of time instead of the road.

“I like Ed Sidheran, sue me,” Patton replied.

Roman laughed and changed the station. It wasn’t KFRY, but the local alternative station.

Patton nodded to the music. “KGLM is good too. I like Larry the Morning Dwarf.”

“Larry’s cool. Used to listen to him when dad would drive me to school,” Roman replied.

They got to Roman’s house a few songs later and Patton carefully extricated himself from the truck. Roman’s home was nothing like the huge mansion he expected. It was a two story red brick home with a well cared for garden in the front. Roman set his bag down just inside the door and told Patton to do the same. He led Patton inside and there was comfortable looking furniture and family pictures on the walls.

Impatient, Roman grabbed Patton’s hand and led him through the house. “Sorry but no tour. Flower first and then I’ll make us a snack.”

“Sure,” Patton said, trying hard not to focus on the feel of Roman’s hand in his. The stereotype that High Elves were impersonal and hands off was apparently untrue in Roman’s case.

“The greenhouse is this way.” Roman passed through a cozy looking kitchen and opened the back door. They stepped into the backyard and Roman paused to unlock the greenhouse.

Inside it was nice and warm. Four plant beds ran along the four walls and one standalone square plant bed sat in the middle. Patton noticed a few different herbs and vegetables before his eyes were drawn to the sickly looking golden plant in the middle.

“Is that a golden panacea? You’re right; it’s not good at all.”

“Figured that out, eh? Got any more insights?” Roman asked.

Patton froze, turning to look at the irritated look Roman gave him. Roman’s expression softened. “Sorry, this thing is stressing me out. Can you help it at all?”

Patton poked around the plant and the dirt. “Hmm, well the soil is too wet so it might be a fungal thing in the roots. We’ll have to dig it up, assess the roots and treat them. Then plant it in some drier soil. Did they leave care instructions?”

“They did!” Roman fished a paper out of his pocket and showed it to Patton. “But then I found out there was a leak in the ceiling. That rain we got a couple days ago? I didn’t realize it got to the panacea and so I overwatered it,” Roman said, wringing his hands.

Patton wondered if he was aware just how cute he was when he was worked up. “Ah, well, then it probably also picked up some contaminants from the roof. Well, I just need something to dig this up and a bag of soil.”

“There’s a shed just out the back door there. I’ll go get us something to drink okay? Water or soda?” Roman asked.

“Uh, water’s fine. Thanks.” Roman was gone before Patton said ’thanks.’ Rolling his eyes, Patton exited through the other door and entered the shed. It was tidy, with a workbench and tools set around the inside.

Patton spotted a hand shovel on the workbench and headed toward it. From the corner of his eye he saw another family picture on the wall and stopped. It was definitely a younger looking Roman but his hair wasn’t gold it was…green. And his gossamer wings shone brilliantly in the sunlight. It looked like he was covered in dirt and smiling alongside a man who must’ve been his father.

“Hey, what’s the hold—oh.” Roman came back to see the picture Patton stopped at. “Ugh, I should’ve thought this through. Only my friends know.”

Head down, Patton felt bad for accidentally discovering a secret. “You can trust me. I won’t tell anyone if you’re not comfortable. Can I ask why, though?”

Roman passed Patton a glass of water. Taking a sip from his own, he sighed and answered. “I’m a forest elf who can’t grow anything. I kill plants. Like literally can’t touch them or they wither immediately. I’ve been wearing gloves around the greenhouse since my parents left.”

“That sounds like a curse,” Patton observed.

Roman started pacing. “It is! But no one knows who or how so it’s impossible to break.”

“So why hide your identity?” Patton asked.

“People take one look at my hair and wings and they decide I’m horrible for not being able to grow grass. If they think I’m a High Elf they don’t have that expectation. They just expect me to be pretty. Do you have any idea what it’s like to not measure up to expectations?” At that last question, Roman stopped pacing and faced Patton. His expression was one very familiar to Patton.

Patton snorted. “I’m a male troll who can’t grow a beard. So yes.”

Roman laughed and sat down on the bench. “My parents should’ve known better than to leave me with an important one like that. But then I heard you were good with plants and I took a chance on a troll.”

Patton felt bad although he knew he hadn’t meant to run into the picture. Idly, he turned the glass around in his hands. “I’m sorry, Roman, I didn’t mean to upset you or snoop into your life.”

“I know,” Roman said, face buried in his hands.

“How do you hide it?” Patton asked, tapping his own hair.

Roman sighed again. “Do you need to know all my secrets? I don’t even know you.”

Patton shrugged and took a drink of water. “I’m Patton. I’m a troll. I like fairy music and I’m gay.”

Roman’s head shot up at that last statement. “You’re…gay?”

“You hadn’t heard?”

Roman shrugged. “No, I heard but I figured it was just bullying. I’ve seen you at GSA but figured you were just an S. You didn’t have to out yourself to me to earn my trust.”

“I…want to.”

Roman glanced at him. “Do you…have feelings for me?”

Patton nodded. “But it’s okay if you don’t. I’m a troll. People usually think I’m disgusting.”

“No!” Roman shouted, standing up. He stepped towards Patton and even though he was a head taller, Patton flinched. Roman stopped, noting the reaction and he took a breath before continuing. “I don’t think you’re disgusting.”

Roman held out a hand and Patton took it with a smile. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me,” Patton said with a grin.

Smirking, Roman let go and picked up the hand shovel and a bag of dirt. “So…replanting?”

“Right. Let’s do it.”

***

As Patton walked through his front door, he saw Logan sitting in his favorite chair. “Oh. Hey Lo.”

“Don’t ‘hey, Lo’ me! Where were you?” The leprechaun asked impatiently.

“I was helping Roman with his parent’s plants.” Patton answered, belatedly remembering he was covered in dirt. Stepping back out, he stomped his boots and shook off what he could.

Logan followed him, standing in the doorway. “Roman! That golden goose of an elf?”

Nodding, Patton checked himself over to make sure there wasn’t any dirt left on his clothes. “Yeah, his parent’s work for the hospital but they’re on vacation. Their panacea plant was root-rotted; the things are so sensitive to overwatering. Well, we replanted it and it should be getting better. I’m going over every day this week to check on it.”

Logan raised an eyebrow and turned around, heading back to the couch. “Wow. Suddenly all buddy buddy with the brightest boy. Have you two made it official yet?”

Patton laughed as he re-entered. “Hardly! He just told me I’m ‘not disgusting.’”

“What a romantic.” Logan said flatly, flopping onto the couch.

***

“It looks so much better, Roman!” Patton walked around the golden panacea and inspected it minutely.

Roman smiled, his arms folded across his chest. “It really does! You’re a wizard Patton. A plant wizard.”

Patton shrugged and patted Roman’s shoulder. “Well I’m just glad I could help. Your parents will be back today, right?”

Roman nodded and headed towards the door. Before he got there he turned around. “Yeah, oh. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

Roman’s folded arms seemed tense as he spoke. “Will you go to the dance with me?”

“What?” Patton asked, floored.

Roman unfolded his arms but they remained tense at his sides. “Will you please go to the dance with me?”

“Like. Like as friends?” Patton asked, scratching his head.

Roman shook his head. “No, like…Like a date? If that’s okay.”

“You’re not serious,” Patton decided finally. He walked around Roman and opened the greenhouse door. “It’s not that funny of a joke either.”

He felt Roman’s hand gently touch his shoulder and he stopped. Roman came around to face Patton, standing just outside the greenhouse. “Patton, I’m not joking. I like you. You saved my parent’s plant and my butt. I’ve already got the tickets. I’ll pick you up. One dance with me and if that’s so bad, I’ll take you home.”

“You promise you’re not joking?” Patton asked.

Roman pulled two tickets out of his letterman jacket. “Does this answer your question?”

Patton selected one and took it from Roman. “I guess so.”

***

Roman fidgeted as Dee fixed his hair. For whatever reason, Dee had seen fit to weave actual flowers into his false golden locks. Roman ignored two texts and a call from Patton. Remus actually took his phone away before he could make up some excuse about his truck not working.

“Stop messing up my work, Princey,” Dee said.

“Sorry. I can’t help it,” Roman replied. “Why are we doing this to Patton?”

Dee smiled, his sharp teeth gleaming in the dark ballroom. “Never mind why. Just make me happy.”

Roman shook his head and looked away. He gazed at the door wistfully and, even though he’d wished for it, the worst thing happened. Patton entered, wearing a surprisingly nice suit and tie. He didn’t look excited to see Roman, though.

Dee followed Roman’s gaze and laughed. “Oh, how ever did he get a ticket?”

Roman groaned. “I gave him one.”

Remus chuckled as he stuffed a cupcake from the refreshment table in his mouth. “Oh this'll be good.”

As the troll marched across the ballroom floor, Roman tensed. He sensed his two friends back up behind him. Patton made a straight line to Roman, drawing the attention of everyone on the dance floor that nearly ran into him. When he got to Roman, Roman expected to get punched in the face. He closed his eyes and waited.

“Are you okay?” Patton asked.

Roman opened his eyes and then looked up. “Uh…”

“I was worried when you didn’t answer. So then I thought you were hurt or that something had happened. I guess if you’re here you’re okay, right?” Patton asked.

“Yeah, I am,” Roman answered.

“Good.” Patton balled up a fist and Roman flinched as Patton let it fly towards his face. To his surprise, he felt a light flick to his forehead. “Now don’t scare me like that again. So which one of your friends put you up to this? The trash can or the sunray?”

Glancing behind him, he saw Remus and Dee quickly avert their gaze. “Uh, it doesn’t matter. I still went along with it.”

“Even after I helped you?” Patton asked. Roman looked up again and saw the hurt in his eyes. “Invite me into your home and use my talents and then hurt me?”

Roman looked down. “I didn’t want to. I actually grew to like you. But they…and I couldn’t…”

“They’re the ones who know? Wow. You sure can pick ‘em. Some friends. But then again I guess you all deserve each other.” Patton turned around to storm off.

Roman ran around Patton to stop him. “Patton I’m sorry.”

“I don’t believe anything you say, Roman. Goodbye.” Patton went to move past him.

Roman tore off the necklace under his shirt and the spell that changed his appearance broke. His gold hair turned green and his wings busted through the back of his shirt.

Patton stopped and the crowd around them stared.

“Roman’s a forest elf?” Logan asked. Roman looked around Patton to see the leprechaun standing just behind him. He wondered how long he’d been there.

Roman took one of the flowers from his hair and handed it to Patton. The flower blackened and disintegrated into Patton’s hand.

Remus laughed. “A forest elf who kills plants!”

Logan turned to the high elf and chucked a gold coin at his head. “Quiet you!”

Dee feigned ignorance. “Roman you liar! How could you lie about what you are?”

“Oh shut up Dee, you’ve known since middle school,” Roman retorted. Looking back to Patton, he held out a hand. “Does this make up for it?”

“You didn’t have to out yourself to me to earn back my trust,” Patton said with a smile.

Roman wiggled his hand impatiently. “I wanted to.”

Patton took his hand. “So you have feelings for me?”

Roman smiled as he placed his other hand on Patton’s shoulder. The band started a waltz. “I do. It’s okay if you don’t though.”

Patton laughed. “Well, I don’t find you disgusting.”

[jaskiersvalley]

Hey i thought of a prompt! Maybe some mpreg at kear morhen with more wolfy witchers. No preference on parings (dealers choice). But yeah like fun times, conception, and then just really excited puppy witchers running around after their round mates and just being adorable in general <3

This prompt has been on my mind since you sent it. I’ve been trying to figure out a fun way to fill the prompt that doesn’t feel too much like Crest of the Wave. I think I might have it. As you said, pairings were dealer’s choice so...how about one big everyone is poly group?

Winters used to be quite strained, often maudlin as the surviving Wolf Witchers got together and reminisced. There was not a lot of good to think back to from their years, the conversation often ended up as stories of long dead witchers they missed or chatter about their various scars and how they got them. Not exactly uplifting topics. That all changed with Jaskier. First, Geralt just brought stories with him, happier memories more riddled with shenanigans than bitterness and rejection. It definitely helped shift the balance of the conversation and Vesemir appreciated that. Then Jaskier himself turned up for winter.

There was a very decided move from the heavy sadness to sex. So much sex. Vesemir had given up trying to air the keep out and started walking as loudly as he possibly could so his wayward pups could at least pretend to have some kind of decency. There were only so many times Vesemir could walk into the hall, kitchen, dining hall, courtyard or stable and see a bare arse or someone bent in half. Because even if Jaskier wasn’t involved, the others seem to have been invigorated by his presence. Still, even that was preferable to the misery that was pre-Jaskier. Only now could Vesemir see just how unhappy everyone had been and he didn’t want to go back to that state at any cost.

As much as Jaskier improved the mood of winters, he could take it all away too. Vesemir noticed the decline in happiness. It wasn’t an overnight thing but, over the months, Jaskier seemed to pull away. He started wrapping up in more clothes, claiming to be cold. The smell of sex lessened, ebbing away until it was a distant memory.

“Is it because he’s put weight on?” Lambert asked one evening when Jaskier had retired to bed, claiming to be tired.

“He should know we don’t mind. I think he looks cute with the extra weight,” Eskel chipped in and Geralt grunted in agreement. The three of them looked quite miserable once more, unable to figure out what they had done wrong to deserve Jaskier’s sudden distance. It didn’t ease over the coming weeks. If anything, Jaskier withdrew even more, declining to join in with any training. His scent changed too, turning sweeter and reminded Vesemir of the goats in the spring. That was when it all clicked into place. Well shit.

Approaching Jaskier was a delicate matter and Vesemir brought a mug of fruit tea in offering and a silent apology in advance of the conversation they were going to have.

“Do you want to tell me? Or should I tell you I figured it out?” He asked as he sat in the armchair by the fire while Jaskier was burrowed under a pile of blankets and starting to sweat. His dedication to hiding the truth was admirable but quite foolish. When there was no response, Vesemir pushed. “You can’t hide for a whole 9 months. Going down The Killer is bad enough without trying to hide a belly swollen with a child.”

Slowly, eyes big and fearful, Jaskier emerged from the pile, swaddled in one of Eskel’s shirts. They were the biggest and so easiest to hide in. Hands twisted in the hem, Jaskier watched Vesemir.

“What would you have me do instead?”

“Stay here. The others will likely want to remain by your side too, maybe going out for brief stints one at a time but always coming back to you.” Vesemir didn’t mention that there were three less than subtle eaves droppers by the door. “I won’t question how it happened or why. This is the hand Destiny has dealt and we live with it. May I see?”

Jaskier was turned with his side to the door, focus on Vesemir. He didn’t notice as the door got pushed open a crack and three pairs of eyes peered in. Instead, Jaskier inhaled deeply and nodded, pulling the hem of his shirt up. It didn’t look too different to usual, maybe a little rounder but it could be called puppy fat.

“That’s if I really pull my stomach in. This is how it usually is.” With a sharp exhale he let his muscles relax and the belly became more prominent, unmistakable for anything other than the growing of new life.

“Fuck.” The curse was from Lambert and Jaskier’s head snapped up, backing away from the door as his borrowed shirt dropped down. With the secret up, the three Witchers bundled into the room, all looking a little stunned.

“Are you really-?” Eskel couldn’t even bring himself to say it.

“Is it ours?” One of Geralt’s hands was reaching for Jaskier, stopping just shy of him and waiting for permission.

Offended, Jaskier grabbed the wrist and put it against his stomach. “Of course it’s yours. Who else’s would it be? Do you expect me to go out and breed with a forktail when you’re asleep?”

Watching his pups gather around Jaskier, Vesemir smiled. It was going to work out okay in the end. He’d have his family not just home but also expanding. That thought filled him with joy. Even better, he got to watch his pups dote on Jaskier. Anything he wanted, one of the pups was off at a run to get it. From heat packs to drinks to snacks, Jaskier just had to sigh and there were hands offering to massage his muscles. It was all quite funny right up until the moment Vesemir realised he was cooking for the fifth night in a row something that would make Jaskier happy. And he’d been preparing snacks with Jaskier in mind. And knitting a baby blanket as a secret surprise. Maybe, just maybe, he was ecstatic about the birth of his grandchild just as much as his pups. The expression ‘the apple never falls far from the tree’ suddenly felt a lot more relevant. Not that Vesemir minded. He turned back to the cauldron and hummed an all too familiar song under his breath.

[nagisa-shiota-worthy-shit]

Star Signs and Loving Gestures

Karmagisa week 2021 day 4 prompt: Stars AKA: stargazing date

wordcount: 1693 (may be posted to AO3 later)

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Karma had thought of pretty much everything. When he’d initially informed Nagisa of the stargazing date he’d planned, he figured it would be a mess like many of their dates ended up being. Something as simple and intimate as stargazing was something that didn’t come natural to Karma and Nagisa. Sure, they’d ended up cuddling together and watching the sky before, but it had been spontaneous, and not the entire date. 

Yet, there they were, laying down on a blanket on a small grass field, bodies as close to each other as was possible while still remaining comfortable. Karma had remembered to bring food and drinks, even being so responsible as to make one of those options fruit. Nagisa appreciated that. As nice as unhealthy snacks were, he was the kind of person to eat a lot of fruit just because he enjoyed it. Karma had made fun of him for that before. 

“Can you pass me a strawberry?” Karma asked, pointing towards a container just out of his reach. 

Nagisa handed it to him with a smile, “Being healthy?” 

“No,” Karma scoffed, “I brought nutella to dip it in. Literal heaven.” 

Yeah, that was just about what Nagisa expected. It wasn’t like Karma never ate fruit, when it came to strawberries he almost seemed addicted at times, but this wasn’t the time of day for his boyfriend to pull up the healthy options. Nights to Karma Akabane menat snacking and gaming time, where convenience went above health. 

It didn’t matter, just meant there was more fruit for Nagisa. And that’s what was most important. Karma had brought it for him. It was nice and considerate of him. He couldn’t help but feel just so happy in that moment, knowing how in love he was with his boyfriend and how much he loved him back, with a nice starry sky to decorate their evening. 

“It’s so pretty,” Nagisa sighed, unsure if it was just a thought or something he wanted Karma to know, “yet so simple looking at the same time.” 

It was a clear night, warm and comfortable, in the middle of the summer. The day had been terrible, but that was over now. The sun had taken the worst of the heat with it as it had gone down. Now, all was perfect. The star were visible, and Nagisa was comfortable in simple jeans and a t-shirt. He’d brought a jacket, still, just to be sure. 

“How cute and romantic would it have been if I looked up romantic stories written in the stars beforehand?” Karma asked, “In the constellations, I mean.” 

“But you didn’t?” 

“Hell no.” 

Nagisa shook his head, laughing ever so slightly. This was just about what he was used to from his boyfriend. Not that he minded, it was part of this very specific charm Nagisa had grown to love. Besides, he’d put in enough effort in planning the rest of the date. He could deal with no romantic stories in the stars. 

“I can tell you about zodiac star signs though.” Karma added. 

“What?” Nagisa looked confused, “Like when you’re born and stuff?” 

“Yeah, well,” Karma shrugged, “I can point some of them out in the sky, if you want.” 

It sounded interesting enough to Nagisa. He was a little surprised Karma had done enough stargazing to be able to find the zodiacs. Then again, he did say he could point out “some,” so perhaps he only knew a few. Nagisa wondered which ones he knew. 

So, he let Karma talk, point at the sky, and explain which signs were where. It was a little confusing at times. Nagisa recognized a few of them, although he was unable to locate them in the sky himself, but sometimes seeing the patterns in them was a little hard. When Karma was pointing out capricorn, his own birth sign, Nagisa was just full on confused.

“Am I supposed to see a goat in that?” He asked. 

“A sea goat, yes.” Karma nodded. The way he said it made it sound like he thought he’d said something logical. 

To Nagisa, it had been the furthest off from that. In what universe did the words “sea goat” make sense colloquially? Last Nagisa checked, goats didn’t live in the sea. 

“first of all, sea goats aren’t a thing,” Nagisa spoke matter of factly, “Second, that is a triangle.” 

Now, Karma shook his head. He rolled his eyes, a gesture Nagisa didn’t appreciate, and then returned looking his boyfriend in the eyes. The look in his eyes was as stupid as his gesture had been. He looked like he was patronizing Nagisa. Nagisa made sure to glare at him in response. That toned down Karma’s expression a little. 

“It’s a mythical thing, first of all,” Karma corrected him, “Secondly, it’s a little more abstract than that, wise guy.” 

Nagisa still didn’t see it, but he accepted the explanation for now. He wanted to ask what a sea goat was, but he did not want to be patronized again. So, he kept quiet, and looked back up at the stars. All he saw when looking at the capricorn sign was just a triangle. He wondered who ever made up these so-called drawings in the sky. Mentally, he made a note to do some research on it later. 

Because it was so late, he had gotten a little tired by that point. It wasn’t like he’d done too much during the day, but he still had been awake for a rather long time. The coziness of cuddling with Karma wasn’t helping that mood. Karma had such a nice and warm body temperature, like a large, personal heater for Nagisa. 

He cuddled up a little closer to Karma, resting his head on his shoulders, and grabbed ahold of Karma’s hand with his own. For a moment, time passed in silence, the two of them connected just like that, the sky full of stars watching them. Then, Karma spoke up and ruined what was once a beautiful moment. 

“ewl I just realized you’re a cancer.” 

Nagisa couldn’t have moved away from Karma faster, moving back so he could look his boyfriend in the eyes. Genuine disgust, that’s what he saw. He hadn’t started laughing yet. He’d better start laughing soon. Even if Nagisa didn’t think this was remotely funny, he sure as hell hoped Karma had intended it that way. 

“Excuse me?!” Nagisa looked appalled at his boyfriend. 

“Your zodiac,” Karma responded, still not laughing, “You’re a cancer.” 

The point was, Nagisa knew that. Of course he knew his own zodiac sign. And the problem… Well, the problem was that Karma was saying it like it was a bad thing. Nagisa didn’t think it was. He didn’t see how being a specific zodiac made him a better or a worse person. Karma, however, seemed very opinionated on it, and his opinion didn’t appear to be anything Nagisa would like. 

So, he just stared at him for a moment again, unsure what to say about the matter. Then, he shook his head in an attempt to organize his thoughts. He had to ask for more information. There was always a chance he was misinterpreting this. He’d better be misinterpreting it. 

“I know that,” Nagisa slowly said. “Now can you tell me why that would be disgusting?” 

Karma blinked. He pursed his lips as he scanned Nagisa’s face. Nagisa was sure the annoyance was clearly portrayed there. Whatever Karma was about to say next, it better be thought through very well. Karma seemed to understand that sentiment very well, considering he actually took the time to think about his words before answering the question. 

“Cancers are known for being moody and emotional,” Karma finally said, “You know, like, they take stuff very personal.” 

“I don’t do that.” 

“You’re… literally doing it right now.” 

Now, Nagisa was silenced for a moment. Surely he wasn’t making this about himself, Karma was. Karma had started by calling him out for being a cancer. Well, Nagisa himself had been the one to take the comment seriously. And, he himself had been the one to take the description to himself rather than just a stereotype Karma was explaining. 

No, that didn’t matter. What mattered was that he wasn’t like that. Anyone could be emotional, given the right circumstances. Just because he reacted with a lot of passion, and the moment happened to already be about him personally, didn’t mean he was giving in to stereotypes. A zodiac didn’t define Nagisa. 

“They’re also known for being gifted in understanding people’s feelings and thoughts, not too far off from your assassin skills.” 

Shit, so maybe Nagisa was a little bit typical for a cancer. 

“That stuff is nonsense,” Nagisa argued, “purely coincidental.” 

There was a silence, followed by the sound of Karma’s laugh. Nagisa didn’t understand what was funny. What he said had been pretty logical. Whatever star sign you were born in didn’t influence who you were as a person. Nagisa would stand by that argument. Why Karma’s response to that idea was to laugh, was something only Karma could really explain. 

“I never said I believed in it,” Karma simply said. 

“You sure acted like it,” Nagisa pouted once more, “Your sense of humour is bad.” 

Karma simply shrugged, and Nagisa figured he may as well drop the subject. At least now he knew Karma didn’t actually judge him for the day he was born. That would have been a weird argument to ruin a relationship with. He tried to release the issue with a deep sigh, and returned his eyes up to take in the wonders of the sky. 

Eventually, Karma forced himself closer to him again, once again taking back the hand Nagisa had ripped away moments earlier. Nagisa let him. He, too, wanted to go back to the more romantic mood they’d been having. Soon enough, he felt like they had gone back to that, and the previous conversation was merely a past joke. The comfort of hugging his boyfriend as they looked at a pretty view made everything much better. 

“For what it’s worth,” Karma whispered, “You’re my favourite cancer.” 

[yellowcanna]

Star-crossed Lovers

Summary:

"Have you heard of the story behind the Qixi festival?" Childe said mysteriously, waddling a finger at their little traveller friends. "It's about a pair of star-crossed lovers who can only meet once a year. It's a very old Liyue folktale, but I've heard rumours that this story was actually based on an adeptus and his lover. They are an Alpha and Omega pair that could only meet once a year.”

“An Alpha and Omega meeting only once a year?!” Paimon was horrified by the news. “Is that even possible?!”

“Adeptus…” Aether thought back to all the adepti he and Paimon had met so far. The face of one particular adeptus flashed across his mind. The Guardian Yaksha, Xiao. Like his element, he was the only adeptus that travelled around Liyue without a territory or home to call his own. “Do you know who?”

"Well now..." Childe's eyes flicked to the raven-haired man sitting beside him. "Who knows? It's just a rumour, after all."

Genre: Fluff, Omegaverse, light angst, hurt/comfort, separation, yaoi

Rating: M

Pairing: Cyno/Xiao, Childe/Zhongli

[Cyno is the Egyptian character in Act 3 from the Teyvat Chapter Storyline Preview.]

Author: Canna / Yellow Canna

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Available on AO3!!

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“The Qixi Festival?” Paimon asked, floating next to Aether and staring at the Fatui Harbinger—or former Fatui now—sitting across the table. “What is that?”

“It’s a festival dedicated to a famous folktale in Liyue called The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl,” Childe explained. “It’s a story about two star-crossed lovers. They even got poems for it but I’m not good with poems so I can’t tell you much about that.”

“Through the varying shapes of the delicate clouds, the sad message of the shooting stars, a silent journey across the Milky Way.

One meeting of the Cowherd and Weaver amidst the golden autumn wind and jade-glistening dew, eclipses the countless meetings in the mundane world.

The feelings soft as water, the ecstatic moment unreal as a dream, how can one have the heart to go back on the bridge made of magpies?

If the two hearts are united forever, why do the two persons need to stay together—day after day, night after night?”

Zhongli recited the poem before bringing a cup to his lips and enjoyed the aroma of the finely brewed tea.

“The story is about a young cowherd by the name of Niulang. He is but an ordinary human who fell in love with a goddess name Zhinu.” Zhongli glanced over to the two outlanders. “They’ve met and fallen in love within the mortal world, but their love was forbidden by the goddess of Heaven and forced to part. Separated by the Milky Way, they can only meet once a year on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month—"

"Which is August, by the way," Childe prompted helpfully.

"—through a bridge made of magpies to spend one night together.”

“That’s…that’s so sad!” Paimon sniffled. “Why celebrate something so sad?”

“Half a glass of water can be seen as half empty, yet it could also be seen as half full. It is but a matter of perspective,” the raven-haired man chuckled. “If you look at it from another way, today is a joyous day for the two lovers to finally meet, thus should be celebrated.”

“But you know, there have been rumours going around that The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl was based on a true story~” Childe said mysteriously, waddling a finger at their traveller friends. “They say that this is a story of an adeptus and his lover. They are an Alpha and Omega pair that could only meet once a year.”

���An Alpha and Omega meeting only once a year?!” Paimon was horrified by the news. “Is that even possible?!”

“Adeptus…” Aether thought back to all the adepti he and Paimon had met so far. The face of one particular adeptus flashed across his mind, but he shook it away. “Do you know who?”

“Who knows? It’s just a rumour.” Childe shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “Sure you’re not gonna stay for the festival? There’s plenty of good food at this time.”

“Weeeell—” Before Paimon could scream ‘yes’, Aether held out a hand over her and shook his head apologetically.

“Thank you, but we really can’t,” the blond politely declined. “We need to head to Inazuma as soon as possible.”

“Guess it can’t be helped then.” Childe wasn't surprised by the blond's rejection. He knew how desperate the boy was in searching for his sister. He rested his head against his palm and grinned at the two. “I guess this is goodbye, huh?”

Aether nodded before looking at the Snezhnayan worriedly. “Will you be alright?”

“Of course,” Childe laughed, finding it funny that the blond would worry for his well-being of all people. However, when he spoke the next words, his icy blue eyes darkened despite the smile never faltering on his lips. “They already got the Geo Archon’s Gnosis. They wouldn’t risk coming to Liyue again just for the head of a little traitor.”

“Aether, Paimon,” Zhongli spoke up, drawing the two travellers’ attention to him. “I ask for both of you to not mention what has transpired, as well as my identity, to anyone—especially the adepti.”

“Why? Wouldn’t they be happy to know you’re alive?" Paimon couldn't understand the archon's decision of keeping silent on the matter.

Zhongli didn't speak for a long time. He stared at the tea swirling in his cup before looking back up to meet their gazes.

"Please," was all he said. 

"Ok...we won't tell anyone," Aether promised.

Paimon looked like she had many things to say, but in the end, she kept her mouth shut and nodded as well. 

Zhongli smiled and brought his hands up, making a gesture that the two outlanders were now overly familiar with, for the people of Liyue always did this gesture whenever they showed their thanks.

"It will get a bit boring without you two around," Childe lamented. 

“Oh, we’ll come back!” Paimon chirped confidently.

“Be careful in Inazuma. The Archon of Electro does not take kindly to outlanders,” Zhongli cautioned.

“We will. Thank you for everything, Zhongli, Childe.”

Aether waved before he and Paimon left the Liuli Pavilion.

The two men watched them go. It was only after they couldn’t hear their footsteps anymore did Zhongli turned to his companion.

“Shall we dine then?" He waved a hand at the untouched feast laid before them. 

"Only if you get me some forks. These chopsticks are seriously hard to use." Childe laughed, trying to pick up his chopsticks only for one to drop onto his plate. "How are you feeling?" His question was seemingly nonchalant as he continued to play with the chopsticks, but Zhongli could hear the bitterness lingering in his tone. 

"I'm fine," he assured the Alpha. "The loss of Gnosis only means I cannot use my power. It does not affect me otherwise." 

"Hm..." Childe tried using the chopsticks again but this time both clattered back onto the table. "Aaah, I give up!" He threw his arms into the air dramatically before flopping towards the Geo Archon and rested his forehead against that stiff shoulder.

"You should have run when I told you to,” he mumbled quietly. “Now you're stuck with me." 

Zhongli reached one hand up and combed his fingers through the soft copper coloured hair. "Do you not want to stay with me?" 

Childe snorted and looked up to meet those golden eyes clear without any other intentions. Seriously, how this archon remained so pure and oblivious despite being so old was beyond him. 

"Nah, I'll stick around. Someone needs to keep an eye on you when you go out." 

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Aether walked through the crowded street of Liyue harbour. He glanced around at the people setting up stalls and stands, preparing for the Qixi festival. Everywhere was rowdy with joy and happiness, so much that it almost made Aether wanted to stay. Almost.

“Let’s go, Paimon!” Aether grabbed Paimon who was drooling over some dumplings and dragged her away. After finally making it out of the packed city, he finally asked Paimon the question he didn’t dare to ask in front of Childe and Zhongli.

“Hey Paimon, is it bad for Alpha and Omega to be apart?”

“Of course!” Paimon shouted before remembering that this worldly outlander was clueless about the dynamics here since that didn’t exist in his original world.

“I told you how Alphas and Omegas are different than Betas, right?”

“Yeah…something about Omega could give birth regardless of gender?” Aether was still a little weirded out by that one. He wasn’t disgusted or anything, he just didn’t understand how that was possible.

“Yes, but when it comes to Alpha and Omega, once they found a partner, they’re bonded for life. They got this thing call a mating bite where they leave scars on each other’s necks—right over their scent glands!” Paimon pointed at her own neck. “I don’t know how it works, but I heard that it lets them connect on a…spiritual level? Basically, their partner means everything to them. Separating them is the same as taking a part of them away.”

“Is that so…?” Aether thought of his sister. He could relate to how it felt to have someone important ripped away from his side.

“Hey, Aether, look!”

“Hm?” Seeing Paimon pointing at the sky, he looked up and found that it wasn’t the sky she was pointing at, but Mt. Tianheng.

He put a hand over his eyes, protecting them from the bright sunlight and was able to make out the silhouette of a person standing at the very top.

“Is that…Xiao?”

As though hearing the call of his name, the adeptus above moved. In a few quick steps, the famed Conqueror of Demons ran down the mountain like a graceful mountain goat and landed before the two of them. Aether was certain that even if he jumped down without a glider, he still couldn’t beat the speed the adeptus displayed just now.

“I hear that you are departing Liyue,” Xiao said, his face unreadable as usual.

“Yes, we’re heading to Inazuma.” Aether nodded.

“The Archon of Electro does not welcome outlanders. Best to be on your guard.”

“You said the same thing as Zhongli,” Paimon giggled while Aether fought the urge to facepalm. 

"Paimon!" He hissed.

“Zhongli?” Although Xiao’s expression didn’t change, they could hear the question in his voice. Paimon froze when she realized she had just mentioned the archon right in front of the adeptus—one of the people Zhongli specifically told them not to tell.

“I-it's nothing! Just a...a friend!" Paimon stammered. She was starting to sweat bullets with Aether glancing nervously at Xiao. 

Fortunately for them, the adeptus was never the noisy type nor did he have any interest in other people's affairs—mortals especially.

"S-so!" Paimon shouted, trying to erase the previous conversation by raising her voice up ten notches. "What are you doing here?" 

“You offered your aid to Liyue in times of need,” Xiao replied neutrally. “It is only courteous for me to see you off. I will escort you to the outskirt of the city. Come.”

“Really?!” Paimon shouted in delight before shaking Aether by his arm. “With an adeptus opening a way for us, we’ll be out in no time!”

Aether nodded and hurried after Xiao.

As they walked, the blond couldn’t help but keep looking at the adeptus’ face. Xiao ignored the boy in the beginning, but eventually, he seemed to have enough of the other’s staring and finally turned to look at him.

“What is it?” He questioned apathetically.

“Ah, sorry!” Aether quickly shook his head. “It’s just…you seem happy today?”

That caught Xiao off guard. Although his face didn’t betray his feelings, his steps faltered for a split second before he collected himself.

The blond traveller briefly wondered if he said something he shouldn’t have. He just thought the adeptus might be in a good mood considering how much he was talking today.

“…Do I?” Aether wasn’t sure if that question was directed at him. In fact, he didn’t know if he was even supposed to hear it, considering how soft the adeptus’ voice was. Xiao was already looking away, eyes locked on the mountains in the distance.

“Eh? Really?” Paimon ogled Xiao, but couldn’t tell what part of the adeptus screamed happiness to her companion. “Oh, could it be because of the festival?”

“Festival?” Xiao thought back to the streets of Liyue harbour that had been rowdy all morning. “…Was that what they were doing?”

“You didn’t know about the Qixi Festival?” Aether asked. He thought for sure that Xiao would know, considering how long he had been living in Liyue for.

“You didn’t know about the story of The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl?!” Paimon gasped in bewilderment, as though she didn’t found out about this story just minutes ago.

“I have little interest in stories amongst the mortals,” Xiao stated plainly.

“Then I guess that rumour was fake after all,” Paimon grumbled, looking at Aether in disappointment.

“Well, it’s just rumour.” Aether shrugged before finally noticing something strange. They had been walking for a while now, but hadn’t come across a single monster.

No, not just that.

Now that he took a close look around the area, there wasn’t a single monster or enemy in sight!

“Where are all the monsters?” Aether couldn’t help but voice out his thought.

“Hey, you’re right!” Paimon spun around in the air. “I don’t see a single one around!”

“It is due to my Heat,” Xiao spoke up in front of them.

“H-Heat?!” Paimon squeaked, jaw nearly dropping onto the floor at what came out of the adeptus’ mouth. “Wait, you’re an Omega?!”

Aether’s eyes flew wide. An Omega?!

Then did that mean Xiao was capable of…

Aether’s eyes nearly dropped to Xiao’s stomach before he had to force his gaze back up. Thankfully, the adeptus was walking in front so he didn’t notice that small action of the traveller’s.

Aether knew about Heats and why Paimon looked so nervous. Once a year, fully grown Omegas will enter something called Heat, where they let out sweet pheromones to attract nearby Alphas and find potential partners.

After an Omega and Alpha bonded, the Omega’s Heat will then trigger the Alpha’s Rut. It was extremely dangerous to go near an Omega in Heat because that was when Alphas were most protective of their mates and will attack anyone that got too close, regardless of whatever reason they had.

But…if Xiao was in Heat, shouldn't there be Alphas around going crazy after his scent? And Omegas only enter Heat somewhere between February and March, right now was August.

Also, why would Xiao’s Heat scare monsters away? Was it because he was an adeptus?

Aether knew Xiao wouldn’t answer all of his questions, so he only asked the very last one. Xiao spared a glance at the golden-haired boy before turning his attention back to his path.

“The stronger an Omega’s pheromone is, the more attraction they will gain from Alphas. Monsters and demons could also be drawn by an Omega’s scent if their Heats are strong enough. Once mated, the Omega’s scent will be infused with their Alpha’s, changing into a smell that will be revolting to anyone that is not their mate.” Xiao stopped and turned around to face them. “This is as far as I can take you. Do not let your identities as outlanders be discovered in Inazuma.”

With that, the adeptus took off at a speed so fast that the two barely had the time to react before he was gone.

Aether and Paimon stood (float) there for a long moment before the adeptus’ parting words finally sunk into their brains.

“Wait…you don’t suppose he was saying that he’s…mated?!” Paimon shouted. “A-and his Heat! Isn’t it right on time for the Qixi festival?!”

“Then the story of The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl is actually…” Aether trailed off before the two of them shared a look.

“No way!” Paimon laughed.

“Yeah!” Aether agreed.

That was a dumb rumour after all.

As for why Xiao’s Heat was in August and not February or March...he was the Guardian Yaksha. Things must work differently for these higher beings.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Xiao stood on top of the mountain, Aureolin eyes scanning over the landscape before stopping towards a certain direction.

Alphas can always track their Omegas no matter where they are in the world. Although Xiao was an Omega, he was a yaksha as well as an adeptus, so his senses were naturally sharper than those of mortals. Even so, he could only feel the general direction of where his Alpha was.

His Alpha was aware he was on the move and was trailing after him, tracking him for half a day now. That man was getting closer as time passed, and along with it was Xiao’s increasing heartbeat.

It had been a whole year since they last met.

Before being mated, Xiao always preferred to pass his Heat high up in the mountains where monsters and people were scarce. However, his Alpha came from a nation without high mountains like Liyue. Although that person said it didn’t bother him, Xiao still wanted him to at least feel comfortable, so he never chose a place too far off the ground.

That was why this year, Xiao decided to spend his Heat in Jueyun Karst. It was the quietest place he could think of with fewer disturbances from mortals. He had already informed Moon Carver beforehand and the moment the adeptus heard the Conqueror of Demons would be coming to his territory to spend his Heat, he all but fled.

It wasn’t anything unusual. Before mating, other adepti would flee from him knowing how tempting his scent was. Now, they fled from him for the opposite reason. Xiao leaped off the cliff, dropping towards the ground at a rapid pace while summoning his spear into his hand.

With a thrust of his spear, the earth below him shook and the camp of monsters was annihilated in a split second. Without taking a break, he darted off towards the next area with monsters. While his scent naturally repelled these monsters, it would cause an issue if any of these monsters were to run amuck and get near the few humans dwelling here.

After swiftly dealing with all the monsters in the area, Xiao found a nice location up the waterfall with a small, deserted wooden house. The house looked like it hadn’t been used in years. The woods were falling apart, but not so much that he could see the inside.

Despite being an Omega, Xiao was never picky about where he spent his Heat. Or rather, he couldn’t afford to be picky. The purpose of an Omega’s Heat was to attract a partner and reproduce. As an adeptus, Xiao’s Heat could affect all living being miles away and draw them towards him.

It hadn’t started off like that.

In the beginning, his Heat was normal. It was still stronger than human Omegas, but Xiao was able to manage to deal with it on his own. Unfortunately as the years passed, his Heat became increasingly painful. The burn of the Heat would persist for days and the amount of pheromone his body release kept doubling.

His reluctance in finding a mate only made his body even more desperate.

The only one that he could ever consult with about his Heat was Rex Lapis who was the only other Omega he knew, yet the archon couldn’t find him any solution in solving his problem other than finding a mate. And so, every year around August, a bloodbath would always be shed. Demons and monsters would swarm towards him like ants towards their prey with Xiao at the center of it all, slaughtering anything that came to him.

Xiao let out a small sigh and stared at the pond before him.

He sat down on a piece of fallen log in front of the house and stared at the beautiful scenery. Despite being summer, the leaves in Jueyun Karst were always in the shade of autumn—just like Moon Carver.

Xiao loosened his collar, pulling them apart to reveal the scent glands on the base of his neck—one on each side. Both of his glands were marred with scars his Alpha left when he bit into them a thousand years ago. He rubbed his fingers absentmindedly over the jagged scar and began reminiscing the past.

The day they met was when Xiao’s Heat was at its worst. Having gone a thousand years without finding a mate, his body was finally breaking down.

Even without the countless demons surrounding him, he was dying.

His Heat had tortured his body for a whole month with no signs of going away. Every single one of his nerves was screaming in pain from the burning sensation coursing through his body. He didn’t even notice when a demon had raked its claws through the flesh on his back because he could no longer tell apart the pain.

His sight was starting to fail him, but that didn’t stop Xiao from piercing his spear through one demon and another. He might be dying, but he wasn’t going down without a fight. Even without his sight, he could rely on the rest of his senses to kill the demons.

And that was when he met him.

The man was not an adepti, but a human that gained immortally. He was a scholar travelling in Liyue to study the demons when he came across the battlefield littered with corpses of demons and monsters.

Xiao had little memories of how their encounter went. What he did remember was attacking the Alpha when he broke through the walls of demons and came towards him. Their spears met in a dangerous dance with whirlwinds of fire twirling around them.

The adeptus was fully prepared to meet his end, but when he woke up, the pain in his body was gone along with his Heat.

On his scent glands were two fresh bite marks, forever bounding him to an Alpha from another nation.

Xiao held no resentment towards the other Alpha for marking him because he knew that Alpha had done it to save him. In a way, that Alpha was also a victim because to complete the bond, the Alpha needed to let Xiao mark him as well. With his scent gland injected with the adeptus’ pheromone, he will start to experience Rut in August which only Xiao could sate.

Neither of them was the romantic type nor did they ever thought that one day they would have a mate. The two of them easily came to an arrangement for the Alpha to come to Liyue every year so they can spend their Rut and Heat together.

For the first couple of years, their relationship where purely on a physical level. Even now, Xiao didn’t know at what point did that changed. Words of love were never exchanged, but their relationship naturally shifted to that of lovers. Perhaps it was because they were similar that they understood one another without the need of words, or perhaps it was due to the bond established between them.

Whichever it was, Xiao was never more grateful.

The adeptus walked up to the house. With a wave of his hand, he sent a blast of wind into the old structure. He held back his power, but some shingles were still blown off from the force. He leaped back when a fume of dust blew out from the windows and doorway. He sent out a couple more blasts of wind until all the dust was blown out.

He walked into the house, looking around to find a table and a couple of chairs in the corner of the dining room. When he walked into the bedroom, he saw a bedframe weaved with bamboo. It was old and broken around the corner, but sturdy enough to support two people.

He ran his hand along the hard surface of the bamboo bed. It wasn’t the best, but this will do. Xiao lay down on the bed and closed his eyes. He was worn out. Running from Liyue Harbour to this place had taken some toll on his body, considering how much energy his body was already consuming to prepare for his Heat.

He bit the inside of his cheek when he felt tightness in his lower abdomen. Xiao stared at the wall of the small house. Although he could guess the general direction of his mate, he couldn’t tell how close or how far he was. He didn’t want to miss out on meeting his mate, but at the same time, he didn’t want his mate to see him so vulnerable.

In the end, exhaustion won and Xiao decided it should be fine if it was only a quick nap.

All he needed to do was to wake up before his mate arrives. It should have been easy, considering how he was a very light sleeper, but Xiao forgot to take into account how badly his body and mind missed his Alpha. He had forgotten how safe it felt knowing his Alpha by his side.

By the time he woke up, everything was pitch black around him.

Xiao took a deep breath and his lungs were filled with a comforting scent that only one person in this world has. He sat up and found a dark brown cloak draped over his body. He stared at the cloak, running his finger through the soft fabric before finding the familiar brown and blue animal ears decorations on the top of the hood. Behind him where his head was resting was a leather bag acting as a pillow for him.

Xiao brought the cloak up to his nose and took a small sniff. His Alpha’s scent was practically drenching the fabric, meaning the other must have been wearing this cloak not long ago. It was no wonder he didn’t wake up. With the Alpha’s scent wrapped around him like this, his body naturally deemed the surrounding safe and he ended up falling into a deeper slumber.

Xiao folded the cloak up and set it on the bed before walking out of the hunt. When he stepped outside, he was greeted by the backside of a person dressed in the same cloak as the one that was draped over him. The person had his hood pulled over his head with that pair of pointed ears sticking upward.  

“You should sleep a bit longer,” the man spoke in a euphonious voice that made Xiao trembled. The Alpha never once turned back to look at him. His sun-kissed hand came out of the large sleeve of his cloak, picking up a stick lying by his feet and began to rearrange the campfire woods, causing the flames to burn even brighter.

The yaksha walked up to the man and sat next to him on the log with inches of space separating them.

“You should have waked me up.”

“You seemed like you needed rest,” the Alpha replied, turning his head to reveal his snow-white hair and beautifully sculpted face. That single flame red eye gazed at the Omega before turning back to the campfire. “It’s not like you to travel before your Heat like this.”

Although it sounded like the Alpha was merely stating a fact, Xiao knew the other was concerned.

“I was seeing someone off,” he explained.

Though curious, Alpha didn’t ask or push the Omega for details. He picked up a ladle and stirred the thick soup in the pot. Xiao stared at the brown soup that would never exist in Liyue and could smell the aroma of lamb being cooked inside. He remembered this soup. His mate made it for him the last time they met and he quite enjoyed it. If his memory was correct, it was called Torly.

While Xiao preferred lighter food and vegetables over meat, the coming of Heat would always make him crave higher calorie food so his body could store up energy.

“Do you need assistance?”

“No, just sit there and rest.” The Alpha reached into the sleeve of his cloak and pulled out a small box.

Xiao immediately recognized the packaging and design of the small box. It was a takeout box from Wangshu inn.

“Eat that for now. I’ll be done soon.” He set the box onto the Omega’s lap before returning to the task at hand.

Xiao carefully opened the box and just as he expected, inside was Almond Tofu. He stared at the beautiful and glossy white pudding with the light aroma of almond drifting into his nose. The Omega could tell how carefully the Alpha was when transporting this from how the delicate dessert wasn't broken or deformed in any ways.

“Thank you.”

He picked up the small wooden spoon inside and scooped out a small piece of the pudding. He put it into his mouth, enjoying the silkiness of the texture melting around his tongue. He ate slowly while observing his Alpha work, unaware of how his eyes would soften whenever he gazed upon this man.

After another ten minutes or so, the Alpha was done. He finished wrapping up the wrap in his hand and handed it to Xiao.

“This is?” Xiao accepted the wrap, looking at it curiously.

“It’s called Shawarma.” The Alpha poured the thick soup into a bowl and set it in front of the Omega.

Xiao took a bite into the wrap. Like all food his Alpha made for him, it had an unusual taste that did not exist in Liyue, but was delicious nonetheless.

The two of them ate with the only sound around them being the crackling of fire and the burbling sound of waterfall. They ate enjoying the presence of each other and the serenity around them. Even though they were both taking their time, their dinner only lasted about half an hour before it came to an end.

Xiao was gazing at the stars, lost in his own mind when his Alpha suddenly called out his name.

“Xiao.”

The Omega turned his head and saw his Alpha holding something to him. Without questioning anything, he opened his mouth and allowed the Alpha to push the glistening round bun-like thing into his mouth. Xiao’s mouth was soon filled with overwhelming sweetness that made him hummed lightly.

The adeptus cared little for sweets and like all citizens of Liyue, he wasn’t good at handling anything overly sweet. The only exception was during his Heat, where sugar became something like comfort food to the Omega. He chewed on the dessert and realized it was some sort of bread. The entire thing was soaked in the sweet syrup which made Xiao wonder if the dough was cooked together with this syrup or was the syrup added in later. Distracted, Xiao didn’t notice his Alpha move until he felt fingers wrapping around his chin, turning his head around before a pair of lips pressed against his.

Xiao closed his eyes and leaned forward, parting his lips to allow their lips to better mold against one another. Their tongues were tangled in a dance with the Alpha stealing the remaining sweetness from his mouth.

“Cyno…” Xiao managed to call out his Alpha’s name before a hand slipped behind his head and his lips were sealed once more.

Xiao let out a small, muffled groan against the Alpha’s mouth. The restriction he put around his desire was slowly starting to crumble. He wrapped his arms around the Alpha’s neck while the Alpha’s other arm snaked around his waist.

The last distance between them was gone and their bodies slotted together perfectly as they kissed.

He missed him.

He missed him so much, but there was nothing they can do. They have responsibilities to their own nations so neither of them could risk leaving for too long. The distance between them also didn’t allow them to meet up frequently. The only time they could meet was during this time so they could spend their Heat and Rut together. They may have met a thousand years ago, but even mortal couples had spent more time together in a lifetime compared to the two immortals.

“Ah…!” Xiao’s head threw back when the Alpha dug his face into his neck, pushing aside his collar and bit down onto his scent gland. Xiao’s face instantly flared up in red. Despite not displaying it on his face, he was embarrassed upon realizing he had left his collar open.

Sumeru was a very open nation where Alphas and Omegas walk around showing off the scent glands on their necks—Xiao knew that much from how his mate dressed. However, in Liyue, scent glands were regarded the same as private parts. Going outside with their scent glands shown was the same as going outside stark naked. 

Cyno hummed, his voice sending vibration against the sensitive gland which in turn made the Omega’s body quiver.

Xiao hastily pulled away from Cyno and closed his collar, much to the Alpha’s amusement.

“You looked like you have something on your mind,” Cyno pointed out. It was an off-handed remark, but Xiao realized his mate must have taken notice to his change of mood and decided to lighten him up.

“It’s nothing,” Xiao was turning his head away when his chin was caught by the Alpha once more. His head was guided back, cobalt yellow eyes meeting orange-red one. The Alpha didn’t say anything and silently stared into Xiao’s eyes.

Xiao felt his throat constricted before he reached his hands up and carefully took hold of the Alpha’s face. He brushed that long white bang aside to reveal the other eye hidden underneath. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss upon the scarred eyelid.

“There have been many things happening lately,” Xiao sighed. He slipped out of the Alpha’s arms and returned to his seat next to him, but now the distance between them was gone. Their shoulders were touching and their bodies so close that they could feel each other’s body heat.

“I’ve heard about Rex Lapis on my way here.” Cyno stared at the scenery before them. “Do you believe that the God of Contracts has died?”

“I don’t know,” Xiao admitted quietly. Deep down, he believed that Rex Lapis was still alive. Killing an archon was no small feat but then again, it wasn’t impossible either. “I have never imagined a future without Rex Lapis, so such situation still feels surreal to me.”

“Then perhaps you’ve been taking your archon for granted.”

“Perhaps.” Xiao wasn’t angry by his mate’s blunt words. It was true. He had been taking the archon’s existence for granted.

They all had.

All of them assumed everything will remain the same year after years. With Rex Lapis around, the mortals of Liyue never truly paved their own path. They have always been following the path given to them by their archon.

“How long will you be staying?”

“I took a month off from the Academia.”

Xiao nodded. Taking away the travelling time, it will be eight days.

“…How’s your body?” The Alpha asked after a moment of silence.

“There is still a bit of time,” Xiao said after closing his eyes to check on the condition of his body. Even sitting here, he could feel his body heat steadily rising. His heartbeat had started to quicken too, though Xiao didn’t know if that was due to the heat or the presence of his mate.

“Come to think of it, there might be something that will interest you.”

“Oh?”

“A traveller came to Liyue not long ago…” Xiao began retelling his story with the blond outlander from Mondstadt. Cyno listened as his mate told him everything—from their very first meeting at Wangshu Inn to the chaos that happened in Liyue then the Lantern Rite.

“So the person you were seeing off was this traveller?” Cyno inquired when Xiao finished.

The Omega nodded. “The boy is capable of using Geo, but I see no Vision on his body or those devices from Snezhnaya.”

Cyno frowned. No Vision or Delusion?

Could it be archon residue? No, if it was, Xiao would have known. 

“His scent was also strange.”

“How so?”

“I wasn’t certain before, but now that I’m close to my Heat, my senses had heightened. That boy did not have the scent of a Beta despite claiming to be one.” Xiao furrowed his brows slightly and recalled that smell. “It was an odd smell, one I’ve never smelled on anyone before.” 

“You’re saying he’s not any of the dynamic?” The first thing Cyno wanted to say was that it was impossible, yet as a scholar, there was no such thing as impossible.

Even amongst the archons, the ABO dynamic existed. It was how their world worked—like how trees grew from dirt and how all living beings needed water to survive. Never in Teyvat had there been a person not fitted into any of the three dynamics. But if his mate claimed that someone was not Alpha, Beta or Omega, then that was most likely the case.

“Fascinating.” This certainly piqued the Alpha’s interest.  

“He is searching for his younger sister. If he can safely leave Inazuma, then I’m sure he will head to Sumeru next.”

“If so, we will meet eventually.” Cyno reached out his hand and his long fingers brushed across the pale cheek of the Omega.

The Omega’s bright yellow eyes seemed to glow beneath the full moonlight when he looked back at his Alpha. Very slowly, he leaned his face towards the hand until the Alpha’s entire palm laid against the Omega’s pale cheek.

Cyno let out a small, inaudible breathe when he took in the sight of the beautiful Omega beneath the moonlight. His heart trembled like a string being harshly plucked. He leaned forward while his hand guided his Omega towards him until their foreheads eventually touched.

“Xiao, come with me to Sumeru.”

Xiao stiffened upon hearing what his mate had said. He stared at that flaming red eye that was staring back at him seriously.

“Cyno, you know that’s—”

“I do not know whether your archon is dead or alive, but one thing for certain is that the future of Liyue will be paved by humans. The demons you fought for thousands of years no longer dominate this land. From what I can see, the humans of this land are fully capable of exterminating demons in your place. The era of the adepti was over long ago, and so was your duty,” Cyno told him. “Now that the God of Contracts is gone, there is nothing binding you down. You’re free to go wherever you like, Xiao.”

“I…” Xiao shook his head and pulled away from his Alpha. There was a slight shakiness in his voice, showing just how much the other’s words were affecting him.

The adeptus didn’t know what to do. He admitted that he had wondered what the world outside looked like. He had been thinking about it ever since meeting Cyno but his responsibilities prevented him from ever thinking further.

For so long, slaying demons and vanquishing evil spirits had been his sole duty. It was the reason he existed. It was the only thing he could do to pay back Rex Lapis for everything the archon did for him.

To suddenly be told his job has ended was just…

Xiao let out a startled gasp when he was suddenly pulled towards the Alpha. His head was pushed into the Alpha’s neck and the comforting scent of the Alpha washed over him, calming him down.

“You don’t have to give me an answer now, Xiao.” Cyno muttered against the Omega’s ear and cradled him within his arms. “I will wait for however long it takes. Once you’re ready, I will come get you.”

Xiao didn’t respond. He wrapped his arms around the Alpha, fingers digging into the brown cloak and clutched onto him tightly. Cyno peppered kisses on the side of his mate’s face before his tender lips moved down the pale neck. When Xiao slowly relaxed under the Alpha’s ministrations, he started to respond with kisses of his own.

Soon, the two of them were inside the hunt with Cyno throwing his cloak over the old bed before setting Xiao on top. Xiao’s shirt was already gone with his mate kneeling between his legs, pushing him down until he was lying on his back. Through the gaps on the roof of the hunt, moonlight streamed in, hitting the Alpha and casting a faint outline around his body.

Xiao took his time admiring the handsomeness of this man. He stared at the unusual clothing exclusive to Sumeru that barely covered much of the Alpha’s body.

Cyno caressed Xiao’s cheek before he captured his lips in a deep and passionate kiss. Despite being a scholar who mostly stays within Sumeru Academia looking through books and doing experiments, Cyno was a warrior.

He was one of Sumeru’s strongest fighters and the most knowledgeable. It was only natural, for Cyno would never be able to mark Xiao amidst the battle with demons if he was weak. The Omega shivered when a palm covered in a layer of callus slid down the smooth skin of back, reaching lower and lower before slipping inside his pant.

Xiao pulled away from the kiss with a sharp gasp. His head fell back with the Alpha trailed his lips down his throat. He kissed and nibbled the tender skin before biting down on that sweet scent gland.

“Hah…!” Xiao wrapped his arms around the Alpha’s head, gloved fingers tangling into the fluffy white hair with small breathless moans escaping his lips. The Alpha’s nimble fingers slide between the creases of his buttocks and teased the sensitive opening there.

Xiao let out another small cry when the hand on his rear lifted him up with the Alpha grounding down on him at the same time. The delicious friction made Xiao clamp his legs together around the Alpha’s hips, his body trembling with pleasure coursing through every part of his veins.

“Cyno, please…” Xiao pleaded before his pants were stripped off his legs. A pair of hands grabbed him by the forearm, pulling him up until he was sitting in his mate’s lap.

Xiao wrapped his legs and arms around the man, letting out broken pants with the Alpha lightly sucking on his right nipple while his hand toyed with the other. Eventually, the stimulation became too much and he had to bring a hand up to stop the shameful sounds from escaping his mouth.

Cyno gave one last lick to the perky nipple before he reached up, prying Xiao’s hand away so he could steal a kiss from the petal-soft lips.

“Don’t hide from me, Xiao,” Cyno said seriously, pulling Xiao’s gloves off his hands to reveal the old scars hidden underneath. The Alpha intertwined their fingers and planted a kiss upon each of his knuckles in such a loving way that Xiao nearly melted.  

Hearing some sound, Xiao turned to see Cyno pulling out a familiar-looking vial from the leather bag lying on the edge of the bed. The Alpha popped it open and poured half of the content into his hand.

“Lift your hips,” The Alpha instructed and Xiao obeyed. He wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulder and lifted his hips into the air. He buried his face into the Alpha’s neck and waited with his heart pounding inside his ribcage.

It started with one finger, slick with warmed oil carefully sliding inside him before joined by another. Xaio’s arms around Cyno tightened, breathes becoming laboured as those fingers slowly worked him open.

Cyno was nuzzling his face against the Omega’s silky hair while his other hand caressed the yaksha’s thigh.  

“Cyno, it’s enough,” Xiao groaned, feeling his inside completely coated with the oil.

“You’re still tight.” Cyno frowned.

“It’s fine.” Xiao gritted his teeth when he felt the uncomfortable coil in his lower abdomen. “My Heat is coming. I want to feel you before my mind becomes hazy.”

Cyno didn’t argue anymore. He slipped his fingers out and dipped his head down to capture Xiao’s lips. As they kissed, Xiao heard the rustling clothes accompanied by the jingling sound of metal. And then, the adeptus felt the tip of his mate’s cock—slick with oil—pressed against his entrance.

The Alpha didn’t move anymore aside from placing small, encouraging kisses along his neck. Gentle hands rubbed along his hips and legs but did nothing to guide the Omega down onto his cock.

Xiao knew that Cyno was letting him take control, so he did. He slowly sank his body, eyes fluttering shut when the head of the thick cock slipped inside. It had been a whole year since he was last filled by his Alpha.

“Cyno, Cyno…” he called out to his mate with more and more of the cock pushing through his tight walls and filling his inside. He could feel everything—the size, the warmth, the texture of the appendage…it was torture.

“Xiao,” his Alpha panted against his neck, seeming to be trying very hard not to move by how hard he was gripping onto the Omega’s knees.

Xiao wanted more.

It wasn’t enough, so he paused to take a deep breath before slamming himself down the rest of the way. A cry tore out of his lips as the cock speared him open, pushing past the walls and kissing the deepest part inside his body. Cyno wasn’t doing any better. The sudden movement of his mate nearly made him see stars. He was panting for breaths with both hands gripping onto Xiao’s hips to hold him still.

When Xiao opened his eyes, thick droplets of tears began to fall from his eyes. They fell off his long lashes and dripped over the Alpha’s cheeks. When Cyno gazed up, his heart nearly shattered at the sight of the Omega’s expressionless face with large pearly tears falling from those beautiful eyes holding so much sadness and pain.

Cyno always loved the colour of the Omega’s eye, because it was the purest colour of yellow—ones even gold cannot produce. He leaned up and started to kiss the droplets away. He knew this wasn’t Xiao crying. It was merely his body’s reaction.

Separation for mated couples was painful, especially for Omegas. Xiao may be strong, but in the end, his body was still bounded by his dynamic. Omega needed constant care from their Alpha to feel safe, and Cyno was not able to give him that. Throughout all of the battles and nightmares the Omega had to endure, Cyno was never there for him. He had left Xiao alone in a land where even the people he protected feared him.

That was his failure as his Alpha.

“I’m sorry, Xiao,” Cyno whispered tenderly against Xiao’s lips. His words seemed to have brought Xiao back for the next moment, those beautiful eyes blinked and the tears stopped.

“Sorry, again I—” Xiao wasn’t able to finish before Cyno pressed their lips together. He wasn’t going to allow the Omega to apologize for something that wasn’t his fault. 

“Hold onto me,” Cyno spoke into his ear before he grabbed the Omega’s hips and started rocking into the heated body.

Xiao released a breathless cry and held onto Cyno, moving his hip to time with the man’s thrusts. Their movements were slow and unhurried. Right now, all they wanted was to take their time and feel each other.

When they finally came, they were wrapped up in each other’s arms, listening to the other’s breathing and feeling their heartbeats overlapping.

Xiao laid his head against the Alpha’s shoulder while the Alpha traced his fingers over the green tattoo on the left side of his hip and towards the inside of his thigh. It was a tattoo similar to the one on the yaksha’s right arm—one that only Cyno had the pleasure of seeing. While Cyno took in the sight of Xiao’s tattoo, Xiao was staring down at the clothes that were still on the Alpha’s body. Whenever they spend their Heat and Rut together, Cyno would never fully remove his clothes because they never know who might come and interrupt them.

Even though Xiao’s mated scent was repulsive to other Alphas, there would still be Alphas coming to target him.

It all came down to one simple reason—greed.

While Alpha and Omegas mate for life, they were still capable of being marked a second or third time. All they needed to do was to rip the Alpha’s or Omega’s scent gland out of their necks and with a strong enough healing magic, the scent gland will regenerate. Once the scent gland grew back, it will be clean without the marks of their mate. It was a very cruel process. Having their glands tore out and losing connections with their mate would make any Alpha or Omega lose their sanity.

Due to humans and gods living so close together, the people of Liyue held their archon and adepti in high regards. Even if they fear Xiao and steer away from him, they never dare thought of getting rid of him. People from other nations, however, were a different matter. They see the adepti of Liyue as a possible weapon if tamed properly. That was why being the only Omega amongst the adepti, Xiao became their prime target.

Omegas were always weak and powerless during their Heat so adepti or not, they naturally assumed Xiao to be the same. Whenever these people make their plans, not once did they take into account of Xiao’s Alpha. Once they learned that the Omega didn’t mate with another adeptus, they thought nothing more of the Alpha other than a nuisance needed to be removed.

In recent years, idiots like these were steadily growing—especially those from a certain nation…

Xiao was lying comfortably against his Alpha when he felt a rush of heat flowing throughout his body. An animalistic whine came out of his throat which was met by a dominating growl. The sound of his Alpha’s growl caused a gush of wetness to come out of his body. Xiao’s face burned as he closed his thighs tightly together, but that did little to stop the lubricant from flowing out of his body.

The sweet scent of his Heat flowed into the air, mixing with the dominating scent of his mate’s Rut.

Xiao’s scent glands started to itch. He wanted to scratch them, but his hands were caught by a pair of tanner ones. The world before his eyes spun and Xiao was pushed into the bed with his Alpha’s heated chest pressing down on his back. His hips were pulled up and with no warnings at all, Cyno thrust himself deep inside. Xiao screamed, eyes nearly rolling back at the pleasure of being filled. He clawed at the bamboo bed, the strength of his fingers starting to tear the material apart before his hands were grabbed and pinned down.

“Cyno!” Xiao mewled when the Alpha pulled out before slamming back inside.

“Xiao, you smell so good…” Cyno sighed, sucking and licking his ear before he buried his face into the Omega’s neck and started sucking on his scent gland.

Xiao was crying from the overstimulation.  He could feel the pheromones inside his glands being sucked away while his mate’s hips constantly rammed into him.

“Xiao, Xiao…!” Cyno called out his lover’s name over and over with each thrust of his hips.

“Cyno…!”

More.

It wasn’t enough.

He needed more.

More, more, more, more…

Until there was nothing of him left.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Cyno stared at the Omega sleeping peacefully in his arms.

He pressed a kiss on the Omega’s forehead, over the purple diamond marking before he slowly pulled himself out. A quiet moan escaped the yaksha’s lips, but other than that the Omega showed no signs of waking up.

Cyno rubbed his scent glands that were bruised from Xiao biting on them, releasing more of his scent so the adeptus can sleep better. He gazed up at the ceiling where the sunlight was spilling in from and shifted Xiao to the left so the sunlight wouldn’t hit his face.

Xiao needed rest—they both do. As much as the Omega’s scent was constantly tempting him, Cyno wasn’t some weak Alpha who would allow his desire to take over. He laid his head over his backpack and closed his eyes for some sleep as well. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to join the Omega in his dreams for the next moment, his eye snapped wide open.

Cyno shot up and moving together with him was Xiao. The Omega was staring towards the same direction where the Alpha sensed the intruders. Cyno hissed out a string of curses in a language that the Liyue adeptus wasn’t able to understand. Seeing the confusion swirling within those pure coloured eyes, Cyno shook his head and pushed the Omega back down.

“Go back to sleep, I’ll take care of them.” He wrapped the Omega’s naked body up in his cloak and climbed off the bed.

Although he didn’t show it, Cyno was livid. No Alpha liked having their time with their Omega interrupted—especially during Heat and Rut. Even more so when these people came intending to take his Omega away from him.

He pulled out his Anubis mask and put it on his head. In the span of this short moment, the house was already surrounded. A ball of flames gathered in his palm before the Alpha shot it upward, blasting a hole in the roof and leaped outside. When he landed on the loose pieces of shingles on the roof, he was greeted by the sight of the intruders.

Unsurprisingly, it was those Fatuis again.

Most of them were Alphas, but Cyno could easily pick out the Betas seeing as all the Alphas had to wear masks over their nose and mouths to filter out the scent of his mate. He held out his hand and his spear materialized in his palm.

“Insolent fools,” he huffed, eye turning cold with crimson flames swirling around his spear.

When Cyno returned, Xiao sitting on the corner of the bed with his back resting against the decaying wooden wall. He had put on Cyno’s cloak with his eyes closed—seemingly to be resting. The Alpha’s eye softened at the sight of his mate. The moment he got close, Xiao’s long lashes fluttered, parting to reveal those calm Aureolin eyes. Cyno put on his cloak to hide the unique Sumeruan clothes before stuffing his Omega’s clothes into his bag. After that, he went over to his mate, letting Xiao hold onto his bag while he carefully gather him up into his arms. 

“Sleep, I’ll wake you when I find a place,” he spoke in that soothing voice, walking outside and stepping over the burnt ground.

Xiao leaned his head against the Alpha’s shoulder and closed his eyes with the bag held tightly in his arms.

There were many old and abandoned structures around Liyue, so finding their next logging wasn’t much task. Cyno found a decent place around Qingyun Peak and the two of them spent the remainder of their Heat and Ruts there.

Eight days passed by in a blink of an eye.

During this time, the pair roamed around Qingyun Peak before they spent their last day on the floating isle above the mountains, known as the Dwelling in the Cloud. This was a very old place created by the Cloud Retainer. Xiao was certain the other adeptus wouldn't mind them using her place, considering how she hadn't left her domain for a long time now.

The air high above the cloud was thin, but neither of the immortals was bothered by it. They sat at the ledge and watched the night sky with the cloud below them. Even though they didn’t mind the cold, their bodies were still pressed against one another, sharing warmth.

The night went by with neither of them exchanging any words.

When Xiao woke to the morning light, he knew without needing to open his eyes that Cyno was gone. The body wrapped around his when they fell into slumber was gone without any lingering warmth left.

The yaksha sat up with the familiar brown coat sliding off his body much like when he first woke on the night of his mate’s arrival.

In the place where his mate laid were four white flowers growing from a single stem.

It was a Qingxin—Xiao’s favourite flower.

He caressed the soft white petals before bringing the flower to his nose and smelled the sweet floral scent mixed with the faint scent of his Alpha.

They never meet each other with hellos and never part with goodbyes. It was an unspoken rule between them, as though doing so would seem like they had never parted to begin with.

Xiao gazed out to the land before him, golden eyes filled with loneliness and lost. He stared at the sun rising out of the clouds, not because of the view, but because that was where his Alpha was.

“I will wait for however long it takes. Once you’re ready, I will come get you.” Cyno’s voice echoed within his head.

Xiao parted his lips, but his throat felt awfully dry. He clutched onto the flower and closed his eyes. He could feel tears starting to gather, but he refused to let any fall.

“Go out and see the world, Xiao.”

“…?!”

Xiao jumped up, sharp eyes scanning over the tiny island but didn’t find anything unusual or out of the place. He brought a hand to his right ear where the voice had whispered those words to him. It was a voice Xiao was familiar with, but it happened so fast that he didn’t know if it was a voice from an old, long-forgotten memory or reality. He looked down at the flower in his hand, then back at the sun.

Suddenly, he felt like the world before his eyes began to open up—like an invisible cage slowly dissolving away. Xiao took a small step back and felt himself stepped on something. When he looked down, he found that it was Cyno’s cloak. He picked up the cloak and gazed back to the distant sky.

The lost look on his face slowly melted away. He held the cloak close before his eyes fell to the statue of Rex Lapis below.

Leaping off the floating isle, he landed before the statue. He stared at the image of Rex Lapis—the one who had saved him and given him his current name.

“I’ll be back,” he promised, setting the Qingxin flower before it as an offering. Without another glance back, he turned and leaped off the mountain. He gripped the cloak tightly in his arms and ran down the steep slope, moving at a speed too quick for mortal eyes to follow.

Xiao had never run faster in his entire life. He went from mountain to mountains, chasing after that scent lingering within the air.

As he was nearing the border of Liyue, Xiao finally saw the cloaked figure walking through the valley, carrying nothing but a brown leather bag over his shoulder.

“Cyno!!”

Cyno stopped. He glanced over his shoulder, orange-red eye wide in disbelieve when he saw the Omega running towards him. Kicking off the ground, Cyno closed the gap between them and caught the Omega within his arms.

“Xiao?” Xiao’s name fell from the Alpha’s lips in a hushed whisper, as though he couldn’t believe the Omega was here. He held onto the yaksha so tightly that ordinary people would find it painful, but Xiao was anything but ordinary.

The adeptus held onto his mate just as tightly. The tears he had been holding back finally fell from his eyes. For the first time in his life, Xiao laughed. It was a very quiet laugh, but the sound was more beautiful than anything the Alpha had ever heard.

For the first time as well, Cyno also laughed. The tears rolling down his face was no less than Xiao’s.

They didn’t need to exchange any words, for that there was never any need.

After a thousand years, they’ve finally caught each other in their arms. This time, neither of them have any intention of letting the other go.  

Back on Qingyun Peak, a gloved hand picked up the Qingxin flower left in front of the statue of the Geo Archon. The dark-haired man gazed out to the horizon with a gentle smile on his lips before he turned and blinked at the sight of large white flowers obstructing his view.

The flowers waved around in his vision, pulling back to reveal a smiling Childe holding onto a bouquet of Qingxin.

“For you, the fairest of them all.”

Zhongli looked around the statue and found all the Qingxin flowers that grew around here were plucked by the former Harbinger. He shook his head with a light smile and accepted the bouquet, adding the one in his hand to them.

“Thank you,” he thanked, already thinking of whether or not he got a vase for these flowers. If not, he will have to go find one.

A jade vase would certainly fit these flowers beautifully…

He will also need to get a painter to paint down the beauty of the flowers…

“Despite living so long, you adepti are all so interesting,” Childe snickered. “These flower suits you. Both you and that Xiao.”

“How so?” Zhongli lifted his eyes to meet those light blue eyes staring at him. The raven didn’t know why, but he felt his heart skipped a beat when he saw how intensely the Alpha was looking at him.

Childe walked forward and plucked a white petal off of the flower. He placed the petal against his lips and smirked at the oldest adeptus.

“In Liyue, Qingxin means Pure Heart, doesn’t it?”

The Snezhnayan leaned forward, pressing his lips firmly against the Omega’s. Zhongli’s entire body stiffened upon the contact. His golden eyes were slowly rounding while his grips over the flowers went slack, but not so much that he would drop them.

The kiss only lasted three short seconds before Childe pulled away with a laugh bubbling from his throat. Zhong stood there, his body as stiff as a rock with a white petal sticking on his bottom lip.

“Come to think of it, I haven’t told you my real name yet so listen closely, Morax.” He leaned towards the archon’s ear and whispered the name he had left behind ever since becoming a warrior. "My name is Ajax."

[missturtleduck]

Hi, could I request a sokka x reader fic? Where the reader has really bad vision/with glasses and is super insecure about the way she looks (along with her body, not just her face) and she always jokes about her appearence. But one day sokka realizes its not a joke and he tells her he likes her for who she is, not how she looks? And its just super fluffy and sweet? Thank u! :)

So, I began writing this Xmas morning, and finished it sometime the day after? It’s short and sweet, and I hope you like it <3

Soft

Sokka x insecure!Reader

TW: Themes of insecurity/body image

Out of all her siblings, Y/N felt as though she was always a little different.

Being in the middle, she had looked up to her elder sister, who was beautiful and kind for no reason. Y/N had looked on in silent awe as her sister evaded conflict and quietly defied the Fire Nation troops who has invaded their village. Then, she had watched her younger brother grow up from some chubby baby with dumpling sized fists and rosy cheeks to the blueprint for a warrior. By the age of fourteen, he had grown adept in his earthbending – an ability he fought hard to keep from the soldiers outside their door. Even his parents, both non-benders, were remarkable in her eyes. 

When she looked at herself, however, it was a different story.

After she turned three, her father fashioned her some glasses out of copper wire and sea glass until they could afford to buy some proper ones when she stopped growing so fast. She saw the world through green tinted lenses for many years. It was only many years later that she was given a proper pair of them and they became the most precious thing she owned.

When she didn’t have them on, Y/N was practically blind. This was extreme enough that her mother had trained a goat dog to be her animal guide if she ever lost or broke her glasses. Yes, they were precious, and Y/N loved seeing the world, but there were certain things she didn’t like.

Impressed by her astute observations and quick manipulation of some Fire Nation soldiers, the Avatar – yes, that Avatar – invited her away from her small village to come and help save the world.

“I don’t know why yet,” The young monk said with an honest smile, “But I feel like you have an important destiny and it intersects with mine.”

Whatever that meant.

Being away from home was marvellous. Of course, Y/N missed her family, but she felt like suddenly she could carve her own path, separate herself from the unit that was her family. No longer did she feel compared to her patient, stunning sister or her talented, muscular brother. She could breathe knowing she could just be her, and that was okay.

And then she looked a little closer.

There was the natural bender envy that came with travelling with the Avatar – who could live up to him anyway? But then Katara comes along, younger than her and completely beautiful, and masters so much so quickly. Toph was even worse. Y/N loved Toph; she was quick, funny, and they could relate on quite a few things, but she was powerful, and never had to worry about how she looked. Even Sokka, sarcastic and reliable, was good-looking and extremely useful on the battlefield.

She watched, absorbed, and learnt what she thought was best. How does Toph come across as so tough? Ironically, she was very ‘earthbender’ in that approach; she deflected. And Sokka? Well, he was the funniest person Y/N had ever met.

It was good, for a start. If she could joke about how she was feeling, she could be more self-aware, become more empathetic.

“Hey, Sokka,” Toph grinned, for once enjoying riding on Appa’s back. “You know what’s great about being blind?”

He sighed, a smile toying on his lips. “No, do go on and tell me, oh Blind Bandit.”

“Firstly, I don’t have to see you in a morning, or ever!” She said, that joking malice seeping into her voice, much to Sokka’s chagrin. “Also, I don’t ever have to worry about my appearance! I don’t even know what green looks like, and apparently it’s all I wear.”

Y/N snorted. “You’re lucky you don’t have to see me in a morning, Toph. I look like a floundering tiger seal. Sometimes I take my glasses off just so I don’t have to look in the mirror!”

The two girls cackled between each other, dissolving into conspiratorial snickers. Truly, Toph was Y/N’s best friend, as much as she loved everyone else. Even Noodle, her beloved goat dog, seemed inclined to love the earthbender too. Seeing if he was also in on their joke, Y/N looked at Sokka with a grin. He wasn’t. In fact, his face was scrunched up into a frown.

“You good, Sokka?” She asked, her smile slowly seeping away the longer she looked at him.

“Yeah,” He said, still frowning. “I’m good, don’t worry about it.”

When someone said don’t worry about it, Y/N usually understood that to mean she should worry about it, but that was just her experience. How, in laughing with Toph, had she could she have offended Sokka?

Trying to ignore the festering feeling in her stomach, Y/N continued to joke with Toph about a number of things in the same vein. Somehow that one look from Sokka made all of her jibes feel poisonous. It wasn’t exactly his fault, but she felt sick with every self-deprecating joke, her laughter dwindling until she settled into an uncomfortable silence, cheek rested against Toph’s shoulder.

As they came to the ground somewhere in the Fire Nation, Y/N hopped off Appa’s back with haste, that ache in her stomach increasing to a swell of nausea. She hadn’t felt this way in months. If she could, she’d step out of her skin. A word floated through her mind, swirling and deepening into her psyche: inadequate.

Breathing a bit heavier, she moved away from her friends, taking solace by a river. Distorted in the ripples, she saw her reflection. All the negative feelings pent up in her chest were flooding back. In a fit of rage, marred with far more complex emotions, Y/N ripped her glasses off her face and threw them to the ground. Her mind felt loud, clouded and thundering. The thoughts were sharp bursts of flurrying intensity.

“Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.”

Y/N whipped her head around. She didn’t have to see to know Sokka’s voice; he must have followed her, she thought, rubbing the heels of her palms into her tear-filled eyes.

“Hey, you dropped your glasses,” Sokka said, gently prying one of her balled fists open and placing them there. “Are you okay?”

She sniffed, fiddling with her glasses. “Are you upset with me?”

“No!” He said, sounding taken aback by her question.

“It’s just,” She sighed, “You seemed mad at me when I was joking about with Toph.”

Sokka, too, sighed, grasping her shoulder. “Y/N, I was worried.”

His hand was warm, and Y/N slipped her glasses back on her face. He wasn’t frowning; a smile soft enough to make her melt was playing on his lips. Concern was painted across his face, delicate and understanding. Sokka wasn’t mad at her.

“Can– “ Sokka began, hand falling, voice stammering.

“Yes?” Y/N prompted, looking up at him, shy beneath her lashes.

“Can I tell you something?” He asked, fiddling with his thumbs.

Y/N nodded, looking at him with patient curiosity. A small smile was blooming on her face as she watched him trip over incoherent words, until he quietened. Sokka inhaled sharply. In a moment, his hands were cupping her face, his lips on her, ghosting softer than a feathers touch. Soft.

“Oh,” She gasped as he pulled back, hands staying close to her, thumb brushing over her cheek.

“You’re beautiful,” Sokka said, face honest as he looked at her with unbridled affection.

Guilt settled in her stomach as she looked down. “I don’t feel beautiful, Sokka.”

“That’s okay,” He smiled, pecking her cheek with a kiss; he seemed to punctuate each of his words with a kiss on her cheeks, lips, head, and anywhere else he could reach. “We can change that, yeah?”

Taking a deep breath, Y/N let his words wash over her, drowning out her spiralling thoughts. She rested her head on his chest and welcomed the arms he wrapped around her. “We can try.”

“Try is good enough for me.”

Y/N could hear the grin in his voice as held her tighter. He was meticulous with his kisses, whispering sweet nothings that felt like everything to her. Yes, she wasn’t like her siblings, nor the benders that surrounded her, but Sokka sure seemed glad that she was her.

[thiswasinevitableid]

42 or 20 with indruck! Can you tell I'm a sap?? ❤❤❤

I went with 20, since I’ve actually done a variation for 42 for Indruck before.

Prompt 20 from this list: My amazing partner just dumped me. Please come home with me for the holidays and pretend to be my partner.

“DUCK I NEED HELP!”

Duck’s used to his neighbor and friend entering his house without knocking. After all, he does much the same to him. But the panicked tone is enough to send him tumbling off the couch.

“Ow. What’s up, ‘Drid?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Indrid drops to the floor to check on him, and Duck waves his hand dismissively to show he’s fine, “I’m just, it’s, I realized another horrible part of Derrick dumping me.” 

Duck sits up, facing his friend as the thinner man continues, “The few times I spoke with my parents since I started dating him, I bragged about how wonderful he was. Goodness knows they’d criticized me enough for everything else, at the very least it felt nice to tell them my relationship was going well. And now I get to go home in a week for the holidays, without the wonderful boyfriend I told them all I had. It’s going to make everything worse.”

Duck nods sympathetically. He’d been the first person Indrid told about the break up, Derrick leaving him abruptly two weeks ago after revealing he’d been dating someone else at the same time until he could make up his mind about who would make the better.

He’d apparently said Indrid needed “too much work” to be the winning partner. Duck keeps hoping to run into the guy so he can give him a piece of his mind (and tell him to be glad it’s Duck, and not Aubrey, who’s confronting him because she is pissed). 

Indrid is weird, sure. He can be absentminded, messy, can leave sketches scattered across his floor for weeks. But he’s funny, thoughtful, and Duck has pictured him without clothes more than once, wondering what it would be like if it was him drawing the high, faintly cracked noises from him on the other side of the wall. 

But more than any of that Duck always gets a strange sense of belonging when he comes home in the evening and sees Indrid’s apartment lit beside his own, still dark one. Indrid is home, next door, and that means things will be okay. 

Duck would have given anything to be in Derricks place. 

“Duck, I need you to come with me and pretend to be my boyfriend.”

Duck should have put some specifications on that statement.

“‘Drid, you full well I can’t lie well enough to pull that off. And ain’t they gonna notice I’m nothin’ like the guy you told ‘em about?”

“I kept everything vague to decrease the chances of them finding something to disapprove of. You won’t need to lie, Duck, please I’ll,” Indrid’s gaze darts around the room, his red glasses sitting on his forehead allowing Duck to enjoy the light brown of his eyes, “I’ll design your next tattoo for free, I’ll pay both our internet bills for a year, I’ll, ah, I’ll-”

“Whoah, whoah, ‘Drid, you ain't got to do anythin like that. We’re friends, we help each other out.”

“So you’ll do it?” Indrid bites the inside of his lip.

“How long would it be?”

“Five days, six if we hit bad weather coming back up here. That wouldn’t take you away from work too long, would it? Or do they expect the part time rangers to cover the holidays?”

“Nah, the center is closed on Christmas. And I’m pretty sure Juno wants a few extra hours anyway. I’ll ask to be sure, but think I oughta be able to get the time off.” He looks back at Indrid’s face. There are bags under his eyes, the result of the semester and graveyard shifts at a coffee shop. His strange, wide smile is tentatively trying to spread across his face. It’s the first time since the break up he’s looked hopeful. 

“Yeah, what the hell, can’t let my friend be lonesome for the holidays.”

Indrid makes a delighted noise, flapping his hands, “Thank you!” He throws his arms around Duck, and Duck returns the hug. Indrid loves his hugs (most people love Duck’s hugs, but Indrid’s opinion tends to take up the most space in his mind). 

He’s doing his friend a favor, and that makes the fact this is a terrible idea worth the risk. And hey, five days paling around with his friend in some fancy seaside town will be fun.

-----------------------------------------------

Juno: You know that’s a terrible idea, right?

Juno: Pretending to date Indrid is going to make for one heartbroken Duck and you know it.

Duck: It’ll be fine

Juno: How long have you had a crush on him again?

Duck: A year. And we stayed friends the whole time because I fucking knew when to keep it to myself. And I can keep keeping it to myself because his friendship means more to me than my fucking dick. 

Juno: ……..

Juno:...... Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you

Duck tosses the phone on the bed as he finishes packing his suitcase. Yes, he’s had a crush on Indrid for awhile. And yes, by the time he realized just how intense the crush was, Indrid was in a relationship that made him happy, and the strength of the crush was overwhelmed by the desire to not make Indrid’s life harder. So Duck kept those feelings to himself, focused on being Indrid’s friend, including putting in a good word on his behalf to their landlord so he could get the little studio apartment next to Duck’s one-bedroom. 

Who knows, maybe spending so much time in close proximity will get rid of the crush….

-------------------------------------

…………….Or it will make it ten times stronger Duck muses during his turn at the wheel. It’s the west coast, so there’s no snow, but rain patters on the windshield as they drive down I-5. Indrid is humming along with the playlist he put on, finishing up the last of the meal they grabbed from  Dairy Queen. He’s been intermittently hand feeding Duck fries so he can keep driving. 

He also does a thing where eagerly and licks the spoon while eating his Blizzard and Duck is afraid he might hit the guard rail if he doesn’t stop staring. 

“How did we meet?” Indrid asks somewhere near Sacramento. 

“Uh, think Dani introduced us, right?”

Indrid nods, “That’s what I thought. We’ll need to have our story straight, but it seems easiest just to describe our relationship as truthfully as possible.”

“You mean we ain’t tellin ‘em we me when I rescued you from an evil goat?”

Indrid “humphs” crossing his arms, “I did not expect to tackled at the petting zoo. But I appreciated the rescue all the same.”

“Thought Aubrey was gonna wet her pants laughin at you.” Duck giggles at the memory of Indrid flat on his back with an extremely hungry goat on top of him.

They run through increasingly ridiculous things to tell Indrids family; that they met on a botched bank robbery, they got trapped in an elevator together, their characters fell in love during a game of D&D and it spread out into their real lives, and so on until Indrid is doubled over with laughter. It would be so easy, feel so natural to reach over and squeeze his hand or stroke his face as they both come down from their giggling fits, but Duck knows better than to trap his friend in a car with unwanted affection.

By the time they reach Carmel, it’s well after ten at night. Indrid drives the last leg, explaining that the house numbers can be tricky to see. They arrive at a stately three story house four blocks from the beach.

“Right.” Indrid sits in the front seat, key in his hand but showing no desire to reach for the door, “here goes nothing.”

They carry their bags up to the house, which is all dark save for the porch light. Once they’re inside, Indrid slips off his shoes, Duck following suit and immediately spotting why.

“Who has this much white carpet?”

“My parents.” Indrid grumbles. 

They tiptoe towards the stairs, and in spite of the fact they’re expected guests, Duck feels like they’re teenagers slipping in after curfew. The bedroom Indrid leads them to is bland.

“My, they really did take it all down.” Indrid sighs, setting his suitcase on the floor.

“This was your room?”

“Yes. I wonder what they did with all the art and posters. I liked a lot of them. And I’d lay money that all of Brad’s sports awards are still up somewhere. They always preferred those to my art.” He sighs as he changes into his pajamas, then slides under the floral bedspread. 

Duck didn’t bring pajamas. He just sleeps in his boxers.

“Um” He points at himself in an attempt to indicate the problem. Indrid goes completely still, looking him up and down.

“It’s alright, Duck. That doesn’t bother me. Come on” he pats the mattress, flipping back the covers, “I’m cold and you’re a spaceheater disguised as a man.”

Duck snorts,settles beside him, “No, you’re just an icicle that got an art degree.”

Indrid barks out a laugh, sets his glasses on the bedside table “Touche. Goodnight, Duck.”

“Night, Drid.”

The light goes out and Duck nestles under the covers. Should he roll over so his back is to Indrid? No, that might seem like he’s hiding something. But rolling towards him could be too much, seem like this is real instead of a trick they’re playing.

“Duck?” Indrid whispers.

“Yeah?” He rolls over, finds Indrid on his side facing him. 

“Thank you. For coming with me. The, the next few days may be a bit awkward.”

“‘Drid, I wasn’t expectin anythin else. Not after eveythin you told me about your folks.”

“I know but, well.” Indrid takes his hand, toying with his fingers, “I’m sorry in  advance for anything they say.  Or do. Or imply. Or-”

“‘Drid.” Duck takes their joined hands, holds them against his chest, “You ain’t gotta apologize to me for shit they might do. I knew what I was gettin into when I agreed to this.”

“Thank you.” Indrid says again. He looks so tired. 

“Go to sleep, icicle.”

Indrid smiles in the darkness, and shuts his eyes. He keeps his hand in Ducks, humming softly when Duck pulls the larger quilt over them. Their hands stay linked as Duck sinks into the pillows and a deep sleep. 

-----------------------------------------------

Indrid towels himself off absentmindedly, eyeing the china-shop decor of his once lovely room. Duck volunteered to venture downstairs in search of coffee for them (Indrid trusts three people to make his coffee sweet enough: himself, his friend Barclay, and Duck). Indrid woke up first this morning, found Ducks head resting against his shoulder. He took his time studying the lines of his face, wondering if Duck would let Indrid draw him. Ideally, nude. 

Maybe asking his friend who he has a raging crush on to join him on his trip was a bad idea. 

He’d realized his feelings for Duck about four months ago. But he was happy with Derrick (well, until the last two months before the break-up, when he’d suddenly gone cold around Indrid), and knew it was common to get crushes on people even when dating someone. Besides, he and Duck were close friends; Duck made him feel safe, didn’t judge him for his quirks, was funny and charming in his own quiet way. So what if he occasionally pictured him while masturbating, imagining what it felt like to kiss him on every inch of his body?

There’d been a temptation to ask Duck out in the days after the break up. But his friend would no doubt assume Indrid was treating him as a rebound, and Duck deserved to feel truly wanted. Now it might be too late. 

The door swings open and Duck shuts it quickly behind him.

“This is a fuckin labyrinth.”

Indrid chuckles, “Couldn’t find the kitchen?”

“No! Thank fuck we got a bathroom attached to this place or I;d go to take a piss and you’d never fuckin see me again.”

“If it’s any consolation, you don’t need to worry about a Minotaur unless my brother is up.”

A silver bell rings and blinks, “Does your family use a fuckin dinner bell?”

“Yes.” Indrid finishes dressing as Duck checks his hair in the mirror, “and it means it’s time to face the family.” He holds out his hand, “stay close; I’d hate to lose you in the maze.” 

Duck hesitates, then grabs his hand, and they head downstairs. 

His parents and brother beat them there.

“Is that really what you’re wearing out today?” His mother asks when they appear. 

“Hello to you as well.” He and Duck sit side by side, and he only relinquishes Ducks hand in order to pass dishes. 

“So,” His father eyes Duck, the scrutiny in the gaze making Indrid wince automatically, “you’re Indrid’s boyfriend.”

“Yep. Name’s Duck, and it’s real nice to meet y’all.”

Brad, his brother, snorts, “Duck?”

“It’s a nickname, oh, thanks darlin.” He smiles when Indrid hands him a cup of coffee. 

“Indrid says you’re interested in...environmental science, yes?” His father continues. 

“More or less. Done a lot of work in forestry and botany and such. Goal is to be a full time ranger in a national park or somethin.”

“I don’t know why we even have those; why the fuck are we preserving a bunch of trees when that land could help enrich the economy.”

“Shut up, Brad.” Indrid glares. 

“Indrid, manners. Besides, your brother has a point. All that land could be a boon for mining and development,”

“With all due respect, uh, Mr.Cold, public lands are one of the best ideas we’ve had as a country. And they bring in lots of money to places that wouldn’t get it otherwise. Hell, back home in Kepler, most of the money comes from tourists visitin the national forest.” Duck chews his eggs thoughtfully, “Plus, screwin nature only comes back to bite us in the end.”

“At least it’s a degree that has a potential job that comes after it.” His mother stares pointedly at him and Indrid groans.

The rest of breakfast goes much the same, and Indrid pulls Duck from the table as soon as he’s done eating. 

“Right, that was awful.” Indrid sinks onto his bed. 

“And you didn’t eat anythin.”

“I had toast.” Indrid snips back. 

“One piece. Come on, darlin, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let my sweetheart starve?” Duck catches the pet names this time, coughs, “sorry, figured better to keep up the game in the house, in case someone can hear us.”

Right, of course. Duck’s being practical. He doesn’t really think of Indrid as his darling. 

“There somewhere in town you like?” Duck settles beside him, voice gentle, “It’s okay if there ain’t. Can even brave the labyrinth and grab you leftovers if you need me to.”

Indrid meets his eyes, and gingerly rests his head on his shoulder, “Well, there is one place…”

------------------------------------------------------------

The outdoor mall is obscenely cheery, Christmas trees covered in shiny baubles and carols blasting from storefronts. Signs tout the perfect gift for that special someone, and Duck imagines himself wandering from salesperson to salesperson until he finds the thing that could show Indrid just how much he cares about him.

After a leisurely breakfast in a tiny, scruffy cafe (indeed, the only scruffy store amidst the pristine, wealth soaked chains and boutiques) in which Indrid scarfed two cinnamon rolls the size of his head, they wander arm in arm, window shopping and people watching. Indrid relaxes incrementally, and keeps casting strange, affectionate glances Ducks way. 

In spite of the chilly weather, they opt to go to the beach, finding it mostly deserted. Indrid shows him a patch of tidepools, and proceeds to ask a dozen questions about what he’s seeing. Duck does his best, though ocean life isn’t his specialty. 

“Oooh, hello little friend.” Indrid is on his stomach, leaning over one of the pools with a hermit crab in his hand, “your shell is so pretty.”

“Uh, ‘Drid, you might wanna keep an eye on that-”

Splash

“Wave.” Duck tries not to laugh at his friend, who now looks like a surprised, damp cat. 

“Oh dear.” Indrid looks at his soaked top half and shudders, “that is going to be unpleasant to walk home in.” 

“Here, take those off.” Duck unzips and doffs his jacket, unbuttons his green shirt and hands it to the taller man, “That oughta help until we get back.”

Indrid, skinny and shivering, takes the shirt and slips it on. His fingers fumble and Duck steps forward and begins buttoning it for him. 

“You don’t-” Indrid starts

“I want to” Duck finishes. When he buttons the last one, he looks up and finds their noses nearly brushing. 

“We should head back.” Indrid murmurs.

“Yeah.” Duck drops his gaze, taking a step back, “lead the way, darlin.”

Indrid hops off the rock onto the sand, offering his hand to Duck so he can do the same. Duck supposes they don’t need to hold hands on the empty beach. 

They end up holding them all the way back to the house. 

------------------------

It all comes to a head at dinner the next night. 

“This is low even for you, bro.” Brad grins.

Indrid rolls his eyes, “What is?”

“Bringing a fake boyfriend because your skinny ass got dumped.”

The little bit Indrid’s eaten threatens to come back up. Duck is still, save for the chewing on the inside of his lip.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Indrid responds coolly. 

“Friend of a friend on Insta said in a group text that he knows your ex.” Brad looks over at their mother, “Apparently Indrid is too stupid to know when he’s being strung along, and too much of a dud to actually keep the guy.”

“In that case” His father turns to Duck, “how did you end up involved in this?”

“Probably paid him.” Brad sips his beer and Indrid growls. 

“Actually” Duck says quietly, “I came because Indrid asked me to. Couldn’t say no to the most amazin guy I know. Indrid’s perfect and Derrick was shitty to him. Just cause we ain’t had time to put a label on things don’t mean I ain’t crazy about him. And for your information” he stares down Brad, “that ‘skinny ass’ is the nicest lookin ass on the entire coast, and you are the shittiest siblin’ I’ve ever had the displeasure of meetin’.”

“How dare you?” His mother hisses and Indrid takes that opportunity to bolt, certain Duck will follow him. As he’s halfway up the stairs he hears Duck drawl, “Mom always said money can’t buy class. Thanks for the real-time demonstration.”

By the time his friend enters the bedroom, Indrid is huddled on the bed, trying not to cry. 

“Shit, ‘Drid, I’m sorry, that was outta line of me but I can’t, I couldn’t sit there and let ‘em talk to you like that. I know you got your reasons for not speakin up, but you don’t deserve to have no one takin your side.”

“It’s not that. I can’t, Duck, how could you say those things knowing full well we aren’t together? Do you have any idea how badly I’ve wanted to believe you feel that way about me? That’s the most loved I’ve felt in months and I know it was a lie.” He buries his face in his hands, glasses denting his skin. 

“Hey, goofus.” Duck nudges him until he looks up, “you’re forgettin the part where I can’t lie.”

The gears of the world grind to a halt, and in a frozen moment in time Indrid processes a dozen realizations at once.

“You do like me.” He whispers. 

“No shit, darlin. Indrid, I’ve been into you for months, but I didn’t wanna push you away by tellin you and makin’ you uncomfortable. I meant every goddamn word, and that all barely scratches the surface of how bad I want youMOphhhm.”

Kissing Duck is a hundred times better than he ever imagined, the two of them tangled up before they even fall fully backwards. Warm fingers tangle in his hair and Duck whimpers beneath him, arching frantically into Indrids touch.

“Fuck me.” Duck pants when Indrid lets him breathe. 

“Not here. I, I think we should go somewhere else, leave early. They don’t want me here, not really, we could go home, rent a hotel room, anything, Duck, goodness please let’s get out of here.”

“It was an exclamation goofus, this room is a boner killer if there ever was one. But yeah, gettin gone sounds real fuckin good to me. I’ll let you take the lead, sugar.”

“You promise?”

Duck kisses his nose, “Wherever you wanna go, darlin. I’ll be right there next to you. I promise.”

[studentville-struggles]

Zumba // Bucky Barnes

Prompt:   “i swear to god, if you tell anyone i take zumba you are dead” AU from @dailyau

Words: ~1,150

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Proof-read? I mean I tried.

this is all fluff really

Masterlist

Being an Avenger meant you spent most of your life exercising, and finding new classes and courses to go on. For you, the worst thing is routine and almost muscle memory in a class. You much preferred trying new things, working new muscles and having a large variety of training sessions. By taking classes, you could train at different gyms and with different people. All in all, It was ideal.  

The issue was, you were starting to run out of classes. Your boxercise course had finished last week and you had three weeks until your aerial skills course was set to start. You were effectively scraping the barrel of exercise classes at this point, you just needed something to do.  

There was one class you hadn’t done yet, you weren’t convinced whether the workout would be that or just a bit of fun. You figured that for three weeks, you could cope with a laugh in a workout. You packed your kit and decided to head to downtown New York, running slightly late for the class.

---

Honestly, you had never seen anything quite so entertaining; the man who used to be the world’s deadliest assassin, hair bouncing all over his face, leg warmers on, fully committed to a Zumba class. It took most of your strength to not burst out laughing at the scene in front of you.  

With you being the row behind him, Bucky hadn’t actually seen you yet and wouldn’t until the end of the class. You were starting to wonder why you ever questioned coming to this class. This was priceless viewing.  

It took a couple of minutes after the class for Bucky to notice you, but boy did you know it when he did. A hard look across his face, he came storming across the gym to you.  

“I swear to god if you tell anyone I take Zumba you are dead.” No hello, not even a ‘what are you doing here.  

“Well it’s lovely to see you too Barnes, now if you’ll excuse me, I need to invite Sam out for coffee.” You replied, winking at Bucky before heading towards the exit.  

You made it out to the car park before you felt the coolness of Bucky’s metal hand on your arm. He spun you around and a hand on the top of each of your arms.  

“Please.”

“Maybe.” With that, you turned and started walking back to the Avengers facility. Bucky followed you the whole way back to ensure you didn’t find Sam along the way. There wasn’t much conversation on the way home, but the two of you never needed that. A lot the times you and Bucky had hung out together, you often just enjoyed each others company, reading or watching movies. You valued that.

  Arriving back at the facility, you walked back to the team flat with Bucky blocking your bedroom door.

“What’s it going to cost me to keep you quiet doll?” Bucky was smirking at you know, letting you know he wasn’t totally worried about you with his secret.

“Depends just how much you want this secret kept.”

“Doll. I’ll do anything, you just gotta promise to not tell Sam.”

Eyeing Bucky up and down. You realised an opportunity had presented itself.

“You come to a goat yoga class. And you buy me dinner at Mario's.” Winking. You knew Bucky loved Marios as much as you.

“I’ll pick you up at 6. Now, what the hell is goat yoga?!” Well, that was easy.  

“I’ll tell you at dinner, now go scrub up.” you winked as he shook his head, wandering back to his room.

That night, Bucky was bang on time to pick you up for your dinner.

You walked and talked, dined and wined, for hours on end. You had meant to spend more time with Bucky, enjoying the peaceful company he was, but in a way, you could actually get to know him. You had discovered that you shared a favourite restaurant, Marios. Bucky had come here in the 40’s and you loved to hear his stories, comparing the then and now. However, it seemed like more of a date now than the platonic dinner you had originally planned.  

The conversation, the wine, the teasing and the long gazes at each other all built up into a new kind of tension between you and Bucky. It was unexpected but not unwanted. The real reason for this meal long forgotten by the time you strolled slowly back towards the facility, kisses stolen whilst waiting for lights to change at crossings, and at street corners, and especially when saying goodnight.  

The next few weeks were a blur of figuring out what you were and how you and Bucky fit together as a couple. Many nights spend as before, quietly reading together or watching movies, but with a newfound comfort and meaning, and you loved it.  

As promised, Bucky did go to a goat yoga class with you, although he vowed never to go again. For a man so adept at keeping his cool in stressful and dangerous situations, he was totally unable to focus with a small goat jumping around. Initially, he thought they were adorable, that lasted approximately ten minutes. After that, he realised that they would jump all over him whilst he was trying to find his inner calm, and he could not cope.

“If he headbutts me one more time.” Bucky would mumble, repeatedly, for the remainder of the session.  

He may not have enjoyed it as much as you had hoped, but yet again the entertainment was priceless.

---

With it being the anniversary of the New York attack soon, you were brainstorming as a team as to what ‘thing’ you would do this year. You always went into the community to do something fun and different on the anniversary. It was a way to not dwell on the sadness but also made a poignant reminder to those around the city that the Avengers were still there, ready to defend the city once more. However, it also meant you all had to agree on one thing, which never happened.

“Goat yoga” You suggested.

“No, not a hope in hell.” Bucky was very quick to retort, still not over his ‘traumatic experience’.

“BBQ in Central Park?” Steve suggested.

“Safety risk.” Natasha and Tony replied simultaneously.

“What about a funny Zumba class, like a dress up one of something?” Wanda suggested

“We should go, it would be great publicity!!” Natasha was convinced.

“I’m not sure..” You could feel Bucky’s awkwardness.

“Come on cyborg, it’ll be fine.” Subtle Tony.

With that, it was planned that you would head down to a glow in the dark Zumba class that Saturday morning. What the team didn’t realise was it was at the same gym that Bucky always went to.

“Hi James, nice to see you back, we missed you last week.” You could only grin.

[greyias]

Dialogue prompts (right back at you ;) ): 12. “So I noticed you’re naked. Is that intentional…or..?”

Sort of a sequel/follow-up to this story.

Theron had always known that introducing Jonas Balkar to the Alliance at large was going to be a mistake. There was a reason he’d kept their meetings to neutral locations attached to neither Republic nor Alliance strongholds. It was just good business. Not to mention that when both spies got into the same room, Theron somehow seemed to always wind up with at least one black eye.

And if Theron could have had his way, he would have made damn sure that Jonas and the Alliance’s Commander never met up — although that had less to do with Alliance business and more to do with wanting to keep his wife far, far away from Jonas’s endless flirting. Unfortunately recent events meant Theron no longer had the luxury of keeping all the spheres of his life neat and separate.

Sadly.

“So I noticed you’re naked,” Jonas said a little too casually, not bothering to hide his smirk as he waggled the calendar in Theron’s direction. “Is that intentional…or…?”

“Are you asking if I just forgot to wear my clothes for a calendar shoot?”

“It’s an honest question!” Jonas insisted. “You have to admit, it wouldn’t be the first time.”

Theron shot a glare first at his fellow spy, and then at his wife who let out an indignant snort. Both of them answered the look with a winning smile, which just made him wrinkle his nose in disgust. This was the other reason he didn’t want these two to get chummy — they had far too many stories they could share with each other. And both had grown immune to his glares.

“First off, I’m wearing a bow so technically I’m not naked. And secondly, I have never once forgotten my clothes,” Theron said indignantly.

“What about on the Ascendant Spear?” Grey asked curiously.

“I didn’t forget them there. It was a strategic decision based on—”

“My dear Commander,” Jonas cut in, “when my friend says ‘strategic decision’ what he really means is a five-second impulse he couldn’t smother.”

“I don’t believe that for a moment,” the love of Theron’s life said, sticking up for him.

“Thank you,” he said emphatically, “at least someone—”

“You will need to show me proof that he’s ever actually successfully resisted an impulse.”

“Hey! That’s not fair!” he protested. “I think everything I do through.”

The high, disbelieving eyebrow arched at him spoke volumes as she just stared at him, casually running one finger along the rim of her glass.

“Name one impulsive thing I’ve done.”

She cleared her throat, brow somehow managing to arch higher as she subtly mimed a train running along a gravtrack. Theron felt heat rush to his cheeks and very quickly took a long sip from his glass of whiskey as Jonas struggled to contain his laugh. Technically that answer was incorrect because he had put a lot of planning and forethought into that whole operation — but he was also smart enough to know there was no winning any conversation or argument when that subject came up.

“The real question is,” he fumbled awkwardly, trying to switch topics, “how many copies of that thing you have.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Yes. That’s why I asked.”

Grey shot him a wide, dimpled smile, the freckles on her cheeks standing out prominently against the rosy hue that had taken up residence after her second glass of Durindfire. It almost matched the soft red glow of the phosphorescent drink, and he suspected was responsible for the appearance of that damned calendar. Rum seemed to bring out the Jedi’s flirtatious side, and so he’d steered her towards what he’d thought would be a much safer alcoholic beverage for this outing. Clearly he had miscalculated and summoned a mischievous imp instead.

“Well, I always have a copy in my quarters on my ship because—”

“Anyway,” Theron said loudly before that explanation could go any further, “the point remains is that these are isolated incidents. I got talked into posing in the nude for a charity calendar and just one time I was stuck in a broiling engine room and stripped down so I wouldn’t stain my undercover clothes. There is no pattern.”

“What about the goat?” Jonas asked.

“Goat?” Grey echoed as she peered into the glowing remnants of her glass and missed Theron’s desperate gesture for Jonas to stop talking.

A brief, but elaborate pantomime routine ensued, where Jonas re-enacted a few key moments from the incident in question, and Theron tried to illustrate exactly how he would murder and where he’d bury his fellow spy’s body if he told the story. It was followed by a series of silent negotiations that Theron wasn’t sure the exact parameters of, but was pretty certain he’d just agreed to craft a new identity for Jonas to carouse around Nar Shaddaa in. Which maybe was fair since he’d accidentally gotten his friend banned from every classy establishment on the moon.

“No, no, I think the lovely lady misheard me,” Jonas said smoothly as Grey looked up at the two spies blinking back at her innocently, “I said bet.”

She frowned, looking back at her empty glass. “Maybe I’ve had too much to drink.”

“Perhaps,” Theron said, hand unconsciously drifting to rest on her knee as he shot a disgruntled look at Jonas that was clearly meant to say ‘stop flirting with my wife’.

Jonas’s toothy grin clearly replied back that he was making no promises in that regard, but aloud announced, “Nonsense! I’ll order us another round.”

“No, I want to hear about this bet first!” she insisted.

Theron rolled his eyes up to the many, many decorative durasilk coverings draped along the tall ceiling in the cantina, wondering what he’d ever done to deserve this. Other than the incident with the stupid train. And stealing Jonas’s identity to infiltrate a fancy restaurant. Or the—okay. Maybe he’d done a few things, if he were being completely honest with himself.

“Well, it was almost Life Day, and we had just finished up an assignment where I’d saved this idiot’s life.”

“That sounds about right,” Grey said, “go on.”

Theron let out an annoyed huff, but decided to let it slide this time. The sooner this was over with, the sooner he could shuffle his very inebriated Jedi back to the Defender and get her to bed. And then hopefully search the entire vessel stern to bow for more copies of that damnable calendar that he could toss into the incinerator.

“The exact details of the assignment aren’t important (not to mention classified)—“ Jonas ignored the very un-Jedilike derisive snort, “—but someone who shall not be named, because I am bound by Republic law to not disclose sensitive information, nearly blew the entire operation at a certain privately owned moon because he got asked to do a few minor IT calls.”

“Look, you would have snapped too if you’d had to see what that Special Executive had done to his computer terminal!”

At the mention of a privately owned moon, as well as the unique corporate title, Grey frowned. “Wait, when was this?”

“14 ATC.”

“That’s… around the same time the Republic began to seize Czerka’s assets. And I had to head to CZ-198 to disable a very dangerous security system and take on a Special Executive by the name of Rasmus Blys.” Theron took another long sip from his whiskey and Jonas mirrored the action as they both looked anywhere but at the blonde now staring at both of them suspiciously. “Awful strange timing.”

“Yeah,” Theron coughed, “it’s, uh, very coincidental.”

“Truly,” Jonas agreed. 

“I haven’t had enough alcohol for this,” she muttered. “What does this have to do with a bet?”

“Genius here,” Jonas thumbed in the direction of his former partner, “made a wager that he’d be able to uncover the top secret intel we’d need as a lowly network technician.”

“I’m a damn good slicer,” Theron insisted, “it was a sure thing! And Ras—I mean, this unnamed executive practically had tech support as the first entry in his holodex. All I had to do was get in, get the intel, and get out. No one would be the wiser.”

“Funny. And what did you find on these tech support calls again?”

“Porn,” Theron groaned, covering his face with his hands, “so much porn.”

Jonas couldn’t contain his smirk. “Needless to say, things quickly went sideways, and we had to make a hasty exit.”

“What was the wager?” Grey asked curiously.

“I, uh, may have boasted that I was so sure my plan would work, that I would march an entire lap around Carrick Station.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” she said.

“In nothing but his ‘Life Day briefs’,” Jonas said, forming air quotes.

A high-pitched giggle escaped the inebriated Jedi and she leaned onto the table towards Jonas, nearly spilling what was left of both glasses of whiskey. “Please, please tell me you have holos.”

“Master Jedi, you wound me!” Jonas sounded almost offended. “Of course I do.”

As he reached for a small datapad stowed away in an inner pocket of his jacket, Theron let out a world weary sigh. He was never going to hear the end of this.

The Nekkid Theron Life Day Parade from December 2018, featuring Theron Shan (x4), Disaster Spyprincess, @keldae, @andveryginger, Sir-Jaydzia-Without-a-Tumblr, and @stephyhimemademe (who said I had to find a way to work it in to a story where Theron had lost a bet with Jonas — luckily I had already started on this prompt, so it worked out nicely ;)

[kunoichi-ume]

May Drabbles, Day 21

Prompt: “What kind of care package is this?” (Teasing)

Characters: Republic Troopers Jurr Jiin and Darvic Lewton

Word Count: 1183

Jurr was sitting in the main room of the Thunderclap, sketching on her datapad, when Darvic appeared in the doorway with a large box. Curious, she put her pad down and watched him struggle to carry it through the door. Eventually he had to turn the box sideways to make it fit because the box was wider than the door was.

“What cha got?” Jurr asked as he set the box right side up on the table.

“Package from home,” he answered, grinning. “My mom likes to send care packages, it’s like she thinks I can’t take care of myself but it’s sweet that she worries.”

Care packages were something Jurr had heard about, in her quick rotations in and out of various comapnies and squads she had seen more than a few come in. It was always an exciting event, seeing what their families had sent them. It was a stark reminder she didn’t have anyone to send her a package but also a glimpse into a family dynamic she’d never had.

“Can I see what’s in it?” Jurr asked, hoping that wasn’t crossing some line. She hadn’t known Darvic long, at least she didn’t have many memories of the young man, but she knew he was fiercely protective of anything about his family. To her relief he grinned at her request.

“Of course, and maybe she sent some goodies.” Darvic pulled a knife off his belt and started carefully cutting the tape around the edges of the box, talking while he worked. “Last time she sent me these homemade marzipan candies that were shaped and colored to look like fruit. It was like heaven in your mouth.”

Frowning as she tried to remember what marizapan was, and if she had ever had it, Jurr stood to get a better view as Darvic pushed the flaps of the box away to reveal… another box? Confused, she looked up at him and was surprised to hear him laugh.

“Or,” he said, pulling the slightly smaller box out of the original box, “this might be from one of my little sisters.”

“Which one?” Jurr was fascinated by his relationship with his siblings. Sure for everything that mattered Trev was her brother and Kadu had siblings he vaguely remembered but Darvic was the one in the crew who had three sisters. Two he even grew up with and Jurr couldn’t imagine what that was like. She loved hearing the stories about the bickering and pranks that went on in their house as children.

Someday she hoped to meet the two younger sisters, though she had met the older one. Noara was nice enough, but a bit touchy and withdrawn for Jurr’s taste but she couldn’t blame the woman for it. Like Jurr she had some horrors in her past that she didn’t have to luxury of forgetting everytime someone cleaned her clock.

“My guess would be Bayla.” Darvic had cut open the second box to reveal a third smaller box. “Juli hasn’t sent me anything in, well, ever.”

Jurr reached out and poked the side of the newer box. “What kind of care package is this?”

Darvic grimaced. “I am being teased, that is what this is,” he said, elaborating when Jurr stared blankly at him. “It’s a common gift prank, you put a box inside of a box and then into another box over and over. That way the person who gets it thinks they got a large gift but really it’s something small enough to find in the starting box.”

Despite his obvious annoyance at the prank being pulled on him, Jurr grinned. “So it’s a mystery until you get to the bottom?”

“You don’t have to look so pleased about it,” Darvic grumbled as he opened the next box. “I thought my mom had baked for us.”

While home baked goods sounded amazing, another thing Jurr had never experienced, she was excited to see what would be in the last box of this series. She sat on the edge of the table and watched eagerly as he discovered box after box. By the time he reached a box about the size of a shoebox there was eleven empty plasboard boxes littering the top of the table and floor.

Fully expecting to find another box, Darvic tossed it over to Jurr. “Here you open it,” he said, frustration obvious as he threw himself into a chair to survey the mess he had made. Some of the boxes had been such tight fits he had to cut the larger one off of the smaller one.

Retrieving her own knife, Jurr ct the box open and pushed the flaps back and stared at the contents.

“What?” Darvic groaned, “please don’t say it’s another box.”

Jurr looked up and smiled sheepishly. “That’s be lying,” she said, giving him time to react by cursing and dropping his head back to stare at the ceiling before adding, “but this one is different.”

Darvic’s head snapped back to look at her. “Different?” He asked, intrigued, “how?”

Turning the box in her hands so he could see the contents, she frowned, “what’s a screaming tree goat?”

Scrambling out of his chair, Darvic snatched the box out of her hands and removed the final, printed box. On it was a picture of a tree got, mouth open wide and a speech bubble proclaiming “AHHHHH!” in it. He tore that box open to reveal that, true to the picture, it contained a small figure of a tree goat. On it’s back was a little button that said “press me”.

While Darvic stared at the goat in his hand and shook his head, Jurr leaned over and pressed the button.

The high pitched scream that cut through the room made her jump before she started to giggle. The offended expression on Darvic’s face only made her laugh harder. “So, uh,” she gasped out between peals of laughter, “why would Bayla send you this?”

Sighing, Darvic set the goat down on the table and pulled out his datapad. After punching a few buttons he handed it to her and pressed play on the video he had pulled up. Immideatly a smilar scream came from the goat in the video, repeated over and over. If the title of the video was correct there was 10 hours of screaming to watch.

Darvic let it cycle through a few scream cycles before taking the pad back and pausing the video. “I showed this to her last time I was home, thought she’d find it funny.”

Jurr frowned at the goat and then up at him before smirking, “so you have no one to blame but yourself.”

Glancing around the mess and picking the goat back up, Darvic sighed. “True, but you know what this means right?”

Jurr shook her head. She honestly had no idea where he was going with that.

“I need a hand getting her back for this, what do you say partner?” Darvic held out his hand and grinned when Jurr took it with an equally excited smile.

“She’ll never know what hit her.”

[builder051]

Sorry, if I may, I had perhaps a thought/question/suggestion for daredevil? I haven’t seen the third season yet, but so far I perceive him to be someone deeply self-destructive but utterly unaware of that fact. If this rings true at all, I imagine that the realization would hit him hard, particularly since he’s Catholic. If this were ever something you’d be interested in writing, I’d be interested in reading it, but please don’t feel obligated. I hope that things are going well for you!

No need to apologize for talking to me.  As long as you’re not spewing hate, the askbox is open, and you’re not directly contradicting something I recently stated as a preference, I’m not going to explode at you.  

I’m in the process of watching season 3 now.  I’m really loving it.  The whole thing with messing with Matt’s public image to getto him, I relate so hard.

This is an awesome prompt; thank you so much for sending it. I know you probably wanted something set in the present, but the way this started coming to me really had to be set at Columbia.  I imagine Matthaving a lifelong struggle with self-harm, and Daredevil-ing is like a copingmechanism.  I wanted to explore it before he went that route.

That said, this story contains self harm, but it’s vague. It treats the essence of the issue, not the details.

_____

The chicken or the egg.  

It’s not a bad metaphor.  It does a decent job of summing up the thought circles that are impossible to understand, but insist on baffling Matt anyway.  Normally he’s perceptive enough to suss out the nexus of his issues, and if they’re worthy enough, address them at the source.

Not today, though.  His head’s cloudy and throbbing. He doesn’t think it hurt so much when he first lay down on his narrow dorm bed, but time has given up on being linear.  Matt’s no longer sure if it was the depression or the malaise that hit first.  The chicken or the egg.

Matt’s thoughts aren’t linear either.  Foggy insists on vegetarian fried rice when they go out for Chinese.  “Because it’s weird, Matt.  You can’t have the grown-up and the baby in the same dish,” he’d explained.  “Isn’t there something about that in the Bible?”

Goats, Matt had told him.  It’s about goats.  But Christ declared all foods clean, and that’s why his followers don’t keepkosher.  But Foggy grew up in a deli, so of course he’d see it from the other side.  Funny how the realization only hits him now, when the thought of food makes his mouth water in a way that’s distinctly unpleasant.  And lack of sustenance probably has something to do with the nauseous ache crashing around the inside of his head.

Matt lets out a dejected sigh and shifts onto his stomach, burying his face in his pillow.  He knows his glasses sit safely on his desk, but he still feels the shadowy indents of the nose pads.  It’s like rubbing his face in powdered glass.  He wishes twin extra-long sheets came in a higher thread count.

Matt’s eyes start to water.  Tears of pain pool beneath his eyelids and run out of the corners.  The pillowcase soaks up the droplets and spreads them, creating wet spots that press against his brows and cling to his cheeks.

The dampness is cold, but Matt’s wires are crossed, and it may as well be burning.  He smells the salt, the stress in his sweat, the sulfates in the laundry soap.  His brain throws in the memory of burned rubber and sunbaked asphalt, and before he can stop himself, he’s on his back, kicking off the covers and floundering.  

He can’t take this pain.  He can’t find his dad.  He can’t see.

But it’s coming through all wrong.  He went blind first. Then Jack died.  Right?  And the migraines came later, at the orphanage.  Along with the nightmares.

And that’s what this is, isn’t it?  Scratchy bedding, a roommate who only pretends to like him.  But Sister Maggie likes him. She comes when he calls out to her.  And when he calls out to his dad.  And even when his brain goes primal and fuzzy and he yells for the mother he’s never even known.

Matt‘s throat is working, his vocal cords pulsing like plucked guitar strings.  But he can’t hear the notes.  He’s too disconnected, his mouth and ears too far apart.  Matt rolls onto his side, dragging his knees to his chest and clamping his arms around them, squeezing himself into aball.  He wraps his palm around the opposite wrist for good measure,sliding the chain on a door that’s already bolted.

But someone’s rattling the knob.  Matt hears metal on metal, the scrape of a key.  There’s a creak, then a slam, then, “Whoops.”

A couple shuffling footsteps.  “Oh, hey, Matt.”

Matt flinches at the sudden influx of sound.  He couldn’t hear himself groaning a moment ago, but Foggy may as well be speaking through a bullhorn.  The jump in logic makes Matt’s temples throb sickeningly. But if Foggy’s here, then Matt’s definitely now.  Pinpointing the x,y, and z of location on coordinate plane grounds him in the fourth dimension too, even though his math classes haven’t taught him how to do that yet.

A bitter taste pools under his tongue.  Matt swallows to slow his racing heartbeat.  He takes a breath.

It’s 2009.

He gets a whiff of candy corn coming off Foggy.  It’s October.

The streetlamp hums outside the window.  Matt can smell beer, too.  And Vaseline.  A hint of latex.  It’s the middle of the night.  He’s definitely in college.

“You ok, buddy?”  Foggy flips on the overhead light. The fluorescent bulbs sizzle to life, and Matt’s stomach flips, bubbling like a cauldron of vomitous witch’s brew.

“Fine,” Matt croaks.  He lifts his head an inch from his still-wet pillow and loosens his tightly wound posture.  His hackles are still up, but Foggy’s buzzed and blissful.  He doesn’t need to worry.

“You sure?  You were in bed when I left,” Foggy says. “And that was, like… early.”

“Hm.”  Matt’s hand is wet, too.  He wipes it on hissheets.

“Party’s still going on, if you wanna drop in.  I’ll go with you.  It’s…”  Foggy laughs.  “It’s a good party.”

“Nah.”  Matt’s senses are going off again.  He smells metal.  But that could just be the nausea crystalizing in his sinuses.

“You really should.  If you’re just sad, you should get up. Do something.”  Foggy’s uneven footsteps approach Matt’s bed. “Come on.”

“Not sad.” Matt means to add some more detail, like the building migraine, the rising urge to throw up.  He means to add the just, theway Foggy did.  He doesn’t mean to lie.

“Yeah, right.”  Foggy grabs Matt’s wrist.

“No, Fog—”  Matt isn’t expecting to be pulled out of bed. And he isn’t expecting searing pain to lance up his arm.

“You’re not— Jesus, Matt!”  The exclamation comes across suddenly as Foggy’s fingers find the half-moon scratches on Matt’s forearm. Surprise ups the spit and anxious vibration in his tone.

For a second, Matt’s lost again.  But then the blocks stack up.  The memories, the hurt, the cycles of illness he has trouble labeling as physical or mental.  It’s happened before.  It makes a sick sort of sense, made sicker by the fact that Matt knows he deserves it.

“You’re not Jesus.”  It’s clear it’s not what Foggy meant to say, but his friend runs with it anyway.

Matt makes a cynical noise.  His mouth is too dry and wooly for him to force out more than one syllable.  If Foggy’s contradicting something, it didn’t come from Matt’s lips.  Even if his head hurts enough to make that kind of gibberish a real possibility.

“You don’t have to suffer.  And, god, I can’t believe you did this to yourself.”  Foggy doesn’t want to touch the wounds anymore. He’s sticky with Matt’s blood.  Matt can hear him bouncing the pad of his index finger against his thumb, repeatedly breaking the seal as the viscous fluid starts to dry.

Matt’s going to tell him he didn’t mean to, but Foggy makes to walk away.   Matt decides it’s not worth opening his mouth.  He turns inward again and tries to talk himself through relaxing the tension in hisneck.  

He doesn’t expect Foggy to swoop back in and pull him out of bed by the shoulders.  “No, no, Fog,” Matt protests, attempting to push him away while also being conscious of the facts that blood is running freely down his arm, and he’s perilously close to vomiting.  “I—my head—”

“Cut it out, Matt.  You’re depressed.  You’re bleeding!”

It’s the middle of the night.  Foggy can’t be dragging him to the campus health clinic.  Matt’s clearly in no shape for a party. He gets a mental image of himself sitting on the bathroom counter, slumped against the mirror, explaining in broken sentences how this is not an intentional act of self-flagellation while Foggy applies Neosporin and Band-Aids.

But they’re not going to make it that far.  They’re not going to make it out of the room.  Matt gags and claps his hand over his mouth.

“Shit.”  This time, Foggy interprets correctly.  He shoves Matt into his desk chair and thrusts the trash can into his lap.

Matt coughs harshly.  He heaves up a dribble of bile, then waits for the room to stop spinning.  He’s definitely dehydrated. Some simple carbs would probably do him good too, but Matt’s not ready to brave anything that will require chewing.  Or anything with a flavor.

“Sorry.”  Matt scrapes his tongue with his teeth and wills them to stop chattering.

“You didn’t have a headache when I left,” Foggy says, a little defensively.

It’s probably true.  Matt doesn’t remember the details well enough to refute it.  “I do now,” he murmurs.

Foggy sighs.  “Yeah.  You do now.”  The mini-fridge opens and closes.  He cranks the top off a bottle of water and nudges it against Matt’s hand.  “Here.  Rinse.  I’ll get you back to bed.  And put something on those scratches, if you want.”

He thinks about it as he swishes the water and spits it into the trash.  The wounds themselves don’t hurt.  But the drying blood itches.

“Or I could go, if you’d rather…” Foggy waffles.

Matt’s taking too long.  Foggy doesn’t want to leave him alone, but he’s going to come out and say it.

Matt hates that he does this to himself.  He hates even more that he’s ruining his friend’s night.  But, truth be told, he doesn’twant to be alone either.

“Sure,” Matt finally says. “You can stay.”  It’s too demanding.  He quickly revises. “I mean…you should.  I want you to stay.”

[notquitedailyamy]

Break a Leg (...but don’t actually)

I was about to hit send on a WhatsApp the other day, when all of a sudden I thought twice. I looked at what I had typed and thought hold up, IS that even a thing...

For as long I can remember, when waving somebody off on their journey, or responding to my “just leaving now” messages, my Mum has used the phrase drive Caerphilly cheese. But as soon as I ran the authenticity of this little expression by her, she cracked up and informed me that “no no, that’s definitely just one of my own concoctions”. Thanks Mum. I’m still wondering with a vague sense of panic the extent I’m already responsible for spreading her wacky motto myself. All I can say is I hope I haven’t lost any friends for it. Show me the loony bin and I might just hop in.

But this incident prompted me to consider all those things we say day-to-day, which on the surface sound a bit bonkers (and thanks to which I was ready to accept such a thing as drive Caerphilly cheese as BEING a thing), but actually are widely acknowledged as being bona fide idioms of the English language. There must be a reasoned explanation or story behind them, and I was keen to delve...

Bob’s your uncle 

...well no, he’s not. But in 1887, former British Prime Minister Robert Gascoyne-Cecil appointed his nephew Arthur Balfour as Chief Secretary for Ireland. This move caused much contention and surprised many politicians, but then Bob was not their uncle either. As simple as that.

Bob a.k.a. Prime Minister Robert Gascoyne-Cecil (Image source: Period Paper)

Brass monkeys

Cannonballs used to be stored on ships in a brass structure called a monkey. In cold temperatures, the brass would contract and cannonballs would fall off, hence the expression “it’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey”. And we of British humour were never going to let that one pass us by.

Let the cat out of the bag

A common fraud among pig-sellers of the 1700s was to hand over a bag of cats in place of a weighty, and far more valuable (to those involved, of course) pig. If a cat slipped out, that was game up. Secret out.

Fly by the seat of your pants

Rooted in the early days of aviation. Before planes were decked out with gadgetry that reliably tells you just about every precise variable, reading or other info you might need to call upon whilst flying a plane, experienced pilots would, to an extent, be able to determine wind speed, external temperature etc using the sensation they felt from the chair they were sitting in. This skill of instinct would be invaluable when flying in particularly foggy or cloudy conditions, and that situation in particular seems to be where the origin of “flying by the seat of one’s pants” lies.

Barking up the wrong tree

The phrased was coined early 1800s and is likely to refer to hunting, when a dog would still be barking up a tree after the animal of prey had already moved onto the next. Go animal of prey, go!!

Under the weather

From maritime history. If a sailor was struggling in stormy conditions, they would retreat below deck and be... under the dodgy weather. I’m not sure I can make this one funny.

Break a leg 

There are a few possibilities for the beginnings of this one, or it may just be an intermingling of the lot.

One option is that “break a leg!”, hails from apprentice actors jokingly shouting just that to the already established actors so that they might have their chance to shine. Intense. 

Another contender is that “break a leg” was a way of saying “take a bow” in ancient English, so when wishing an actor to break a leg they meant only that they hoped the performance went well and led to them taking a bow and receiving their applause at the end.

It’s also said that pre-performance superstition has always been prevalent amongst actors. That to wish a performer well before a show may conversely bring them bad luck. It is thought that the habit of saying something derogatory beforehand instead may have evolved from this. 

Donkey’s years

A pun on “donkey’s ears”. Particularly apt given the longevity of donkeys and the length of their ears.

Bite the bullet

Because before anesthesia became commonplace, surgery patients of the 1800s would have to make do with biting down on a bullet to deal with the pain. So next time you’re out of paracetamol, consider whether you need to spend that 45p, and perhaps check the gun cabinet instead. 

Have a butchers

From Cockney Rhyming Slang “have a butchers hook”, but with out the hook. Cos who needs rhyme innit. Says the songwriter.

Taking the Mickey

Similarly, we took the Bliss out of “taking the Mickey Bliss”. The Cockneys must think we’re taking the Mickey Bliss.

Get one’s goat

This expression originates from horseracing. Apparently jockeys would often put a goat in the stable with their horse before a race to relax them (don’t look at me - I did double check this upon reading it the first time), but competitors would sometimes play proper dirty and remove said goat. ScandaLOSS.

And no Mum, I don’t need to ask you about “Wowee Wizardee Dee”. That one stays INSIDE the family.

SuSo: “Brass Monkey” by Beastie Boys // Listen here.

References

https://www.ecenglish.com/learnenglish/lessons/why-do-we-say-bobs-your-uncle

https://www.inklyo.com/english-idioms-origins/

https://idiomation.wordpress.com/2011/05/10/fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants/

https://www.indy100.com/article/here-are-30-of-the-most-bizarre-phrases-in-the-english-language-and-what-they-actually-mean--WyExLI005kb

https://www.thesun.co.uk/archives/news/1165485/idioms-explained-why-do-people-say-break-a-leg-and-under-the-weather/

http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-don1.htm