#also fun is that cuddy from house is in the show which is a fun link between Holmes shows

[rosepinks-world]

𝐃𝐑 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇! | house x fem!reader

summary: in which the team won’t stop talking to house about the new doctor who operates in the morgue…in the depths of the hospital.

warnings: a lot of death talk, house flirting, possibly ooc, unspecified age gap, joke about necrophilia, a lot of medical inaccuracies

“Just got results back from pathology. Patient had tb.” Cameron announced as Chase threw the file onto the table.

“The guy died like an hour ago? They already got the results back?” Foreman asked confused yet also impressed.

Cameron nodded. “Yeah. The unit got a new doctor. She’s really good.”

“And hot.” Chase added.

Foreman and Cameron rolled their eyes and House smirked.

“Pathologists are always freaky…and not the good kind.” House mentioned.

Cameron frowned irritated. “Yeah? How’d you come to that conclusion?”

“How do you not? Come on! Someone who wants to specialise in cutting dead people open doesn’t scream freaky to you?”

Cameron looked disgusted with house whereas the two men made faces that showed they were hearing house out.

“You guys are ridiculous. And we’ve got another patient. 35 year old gentleman who is quite literally the pinnacle of health had a heart attack this morning.”

“Fun.” House sounded sarcastically. “Page me if anything interesting happens.”

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

House was having his normally scheduled lunch with Wilson when the freaky girl was brought up again.

“Have you met the new pathologist she’s great.”

House rolled his eyes so hard they may have gotten stuck in the back of his head. “What is with this woman? Are you having an affair with her or something?”

“You’re a real dick sometimes.”

House waved him off and took some fries off of Wilson’s plate.

“I’m not having an affair with her. She’s nice and an extremely competent doctor.”

House rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah I get it she’s amazing stop before I vomit.”

Wilson chuckled, “Oh! Cuddys looking for you. She looks pissed.”

“She always looks pissed. She really needs to get laid.”

House was seconds away from making another comment when his beeper sounded making him bid Wilson farewell and walk away as quick as he could.

He walked into the heart attack patients room and was met with Chase announcing the patients time of death a weeping wife and brother standing next to them.

“Great you killed the guy.” House sounded sarcastically.

“We didn’t even start treatment he was completely fine until-“ Cameron tried to reason.

“Until he wasn’t.” House finished.

Cameron looked sheepish and stopped talking exchanging a shared angry look with Foreman.

House made a confused look as the nurses began to prepare the body for the morgue and walked away making a visit he knew he wouldn’t enjoy.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Carefully making his way down the morgue stairs House took in the new area he was in. It was well in the depths of the hospital, no sunlight, no voices, no commotion. It was creepy yet also calming. He saw a white lab coat rush by, seeming to be the only colour in the place. He watched intently as you poured various chemicals into test tubes and expertly prepared the autopsy almost dancing between steps.

House chuckled, “The guys not even cold and you’re dancing around his corpse.”

You let out a shriek in surprise almost dropping the test tubes you were holding. You turned in the direction of the voice and were met with a man likely in his 40s propping himself up with a cane. House chuckled at your reaction not being able to help finding your widened eyes cute.

“I know I’m no Brad Pitt but I can’t be that hideous.” He joked making his way towards you off the stairs.

You laughed clutching your heart. In all honesty you found the stranger rather attractive so his self deprecation made you laugh in disbelief.

“No! You see no one ever comes down here so you just scared me.”

He nodded pointing to the body on the table. “He was my patient-“

You frowned, “Oh I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head. “Don’t be. I don’t care.”

You made a confused look bewildered by the man as he made his way to the man on your table.

“What I do care about is why he had a heart attack when there was no medical explanation as to why it happened.”

You grabbed your scalpel, “I should have an answer in an hour or two. Fancy making any predictions?”

House smirked slightly, “With a guy this size he had to be taking steroids.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Seriously?”

“Well what do you think?”

“Poison.”

House made a face of disbelief. “Are you serious you think steroids is a reach but poison isn’t.”

“Wanna bet?” You asked.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Maybe it was disrespectful, betting on the cause of death of a patient but that’s what you and the mystery doctor had decided to do.

With a cool $100 on the line you began cutting into the man the doctor watching you intently as you did.

“Who are you?” You asked the him.

“Greg House.” To that you made a noise of recognition to which he questioned.

“I’ve heard a lot about you Dr House.” You said as you began to cut out parts of the organs to test.

“All good I hope.” He replied

You laughed dropping the samples into the prepared test tubes, “Yeah… not really.”

He shrugged. “Can’t please them all.”

“It doesn’t seem like you please anyone.”

You paused after thinking about the double meaning of what you just said. By the look on his face he was thinking the same thing-his next words confirming it.

“Oh. You’d be surprised.”

The two of you made eye contact as he said that you being the one to break it suddenly feeling rather hot under his gaze. You averted your eyes to the body under you, immediately remembering you were performing an autopsy and that now was not the time to flirt with the infamous Greg House.

“I’ve heard a lot about you Dr Death.”

Swirling the test tube around you raised a brow, “Like what? And Dr Death. Really?”

“Just that everyone adores you. It makes me sick.”

“Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine?” You replied sarcastically sewing the patient up.

“I try to be as positive as possible.” He answered playing on the joke.

“Well Dr House the names Y/n L/n. And I’m telling you because you should know the name of the woman you owe $100 to.”

His eyes widened. “You’re lying prove it.”

You explained that the heart had very clear signs of stress typically seen on those with heart conditions and to confirm your initial theory you held up the test tube with the heart tissue sample explaining that the reaction that took place confirms the presence of poison.

He was speechless. You were really good at your job. God he hated when Wilson was right. Even worse he hated that Chase was right because Wow, you really were hot.

“Did the guy have a wife?” You asked.

“Yeah. He did.”

You shrugged, “It’s always the partner. If she’s still here I’d check if she has anything on her if I were you.”

Everything pieced together in Houses head. The hug the wife and the brother shared the crocodile looking tears the sudden death with no symptoms. House stormed back up the stairs as quick as his cane would take him and you followed hot on his tail curious to see if you were right and what would go down if you were.

The wife and the brother looked as if they had just completed the paperwork and were just leaving when House shouted at them.

“You poisoned your husband!”

You widened your eyes at his boldness. You were so fucked if you were wrong.

It took barely any provoking before the wife burst into tears admitting to the crime blaming the brother for planting the idea in her head so they could be together. Hospital security seized the two before the man could attack House and you stood in shock.

This had been the most commotion you’d seen in years. You should really get out the basement more.

House shook his head disgusted at the criminals as he walked away. “Well done Dr Death.”

You rolled your eyes following him. “That’s the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Seriously? You’ve got to get out of that basement more.”

You nodded hearing him out. And he turned to the side asking a question he was dying to know.

“Why be a pathologist of all things? You a necrophiliac or something?”

Your jaw dropped in disbelief as you held a finger to his face to which he just smirked. Before you could say anything in return your boss interrupted.

“House!”

House stopped dead in his tracks turning around to meet Cuddy with a fake, sweet smile.

“Cuddy! New blouse? May I say it really flatters your breasts-“

Her eyes widened in anger. “Clinic. Now.”

She made eye contact with you. “I’m so sorry for him.”

You smirked. “He’ll be sorry if he doesn’t give me $100 for our bet.”

“I’ll make it up to you honey.” He winked to which you grimaced. “No I’d rather just have the $100.”

Cuddy looked disgusted by the two of you. “Please don’t tell me the two of you bet on a patient.”

House feigned outrage “Lisa! I would never do such a thing.”

Cuddy shook her head and walked away. Leaving the two of you alone.

“I wasn’t joking by the way. I can make it up to you.”

“Oh yeah? How?” You smirked.

He leaned in closer and went to speak when the two of you were interrupted.

“Viagra!”

You both furrowed your faces turning to look at the man.

“I need another dose of viagra. That stuff is great me and my wife have been at it like we used to when we were teenagers.”

You grimaced as did House. You pointed at the viagra dependant man and explained, “You see this is why I decided on pathology I know nothing about their sex lives because they’re dead.”

House nodded, “Yeah I’m starting to envy you Dr Death.”

Nonetheless House began to write the man his prescription and you took it as your cue to walk away.

“Oh! And to answer your question I can make our bet up, with dinner this Saturday.” He shouted handing the man the prescription.

You scoffed, “If that’s the case you should probably write yourself your own prescription old man.”

You smirked at House and turned on your heel walking back to the basement but you could still hear his voice from behind you.

“Is that a yes or no? L/n! You can’t leave me high and dry!”

[thatgenericwriter]

THE BET || GREGORY HOUSE

Paring: Gregory House x gn! reader

Summary: reader is a mortician at the hospital and gets into a little bet with House

Warnings: House (no explanation needed) and some swearing

Word Count: 1.1k

P.S. based on the request by @ryoiii (I'm sorry this took me so long to do I'm trying my hardest)

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

Life was pretty mundane at your new job as a mortician at Princeton Plainsboro's Teaching Hospital. Being new to the city and hoping for a fresh start was fine, but man was it boring. Just you alone with your thoughts down in the basement of a huge hospital.

Until one day you met House in the cafeteria. He was sitting with Wilson, the doctor that Cuddy had assigned to show you around on your first day. You two had grown close over the two weeks you had been there. You would hang out in his office when there was nothing for you to do. And you guys would have lunch together most days. You saw him as the only friend you had made so far.

So it was no surprise when he called you over to his table after you got your food.

"Hey y/n, come sit!" You smile at Wilson and make your way over, taking note of the grumpy looking man, whom you assumed was Wilson's friend Dr. Gregory House. Which was made certain when you saw his cane leaning against his chair.

"Wilson! Paying to have your "friends of the night" visit you at work? That's low even by my standards!" Wilson slaps House's shoulder and scolds him before turning to look at you apologetically.

"It's okay Willson. House is just jealous because he knows he will never be able to afford me." You revel in the questioning look on House's face and the shocked look on Wilson's as you sit down on the chair next to him.

You open your yogurt container and take a bite before looking between House and Wilson questioningly.

"What? Can't handle the truth?" House smirks at you while Wilson sighs loudly beside you.

"Great another House. Just what I needed." Wilson shakes his head solemnly from beside you as you lean back in your chair eyeing the man across from you. 'This is going to be fun.'

.........

Ever since your encounter with House in the cafeteria a few weeks ago, you two have become inseparable. Whenever you don't have a body to tend to in the morgue you're in House's office. His fellows have become accustomed to seeing you in House's yellow chair tossing his ball around or doodling on his whiteboard.

They have also come to learn that if House is nowhere to be found, he is most likely down in the morgue with you. Which is where they found him today. But instead of finding him in deep discussion with you, they walk in on the two of you fighting.

"You can not have one of the bodies! Especially not with the intention of shooting them in the fucking head!" You went along with all of House's stupid ideas (that's what made him fun), but this was crossing a line. A line that put your job on the chopping block.

House was acting like the man-child he is, actually stomping his foot at you and crossing his arms like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

"But mommy please!" He had the audacity to stick his bottom lip out at you and that was your last straw. You look at him blankly and walk past him to the doors.

"Do whatever you want. I don't care anymore." You swiftly walk past his fellows who look at you with pity written all over their faces. You paid no mind to them and continued to the elevators. The last thing you saw before the doors slid closed was House staring at you with a look on his face that you'd never seen from him before. Remorse.

..........

That was about an hour ago. Now you are sprawled across Wilson's couch in his office chatting with him about the most random stuff. That was until the door slowly opened and House walked through.

You turn and face away from him not ready to talk to him quite yet. However, that didn't deter him from talking to you.

"I just came to say that I talked to Cuddy and made it known that anything I do should not affect your job. And that I will take responsibility for anything I do that involves the morgue." This was a surprise to you, and also to Wilson according to his face. When you still didn't turn to face House he continued.

"I also wanted to apologize to you for trying to make you do something you didn't want to get involved with." At this point, Wilson was sure he was having a stroke and you were sure that you had completely fallen for House.

You had been fighting the idea of having a crush on House since the very first week of being with him. Hearing about his lack of emotions and empathy for others strayed you away from pursuing a relationship with him. But after him taking responsibility for his actions and apologizing to you, how could you stay away?

You turn to him with the coldest look on your face that you could manage. "You think you can just come in here and give some half-ass apology and believe that I would forgive you just like that!"

You relish in the confused expression on Wilson's and House's faces before bursting out in laughter.

"Of course I forgive you ya goof!" You jump off of the couch and grab his hand pulling him out of the office.

"I bet ya his head explodes!" Slowing down to a speed that House can keep up with comfortably, you start to pull your hand away. House stops you, however, by interlocking his fingers with yours.

"I bet you he doesn't scream no matter what happens." House pushes the down button to call for the elevator with his cane before looking at you. You smile back at him and bump your hip with his slightly.

"That's not fair he's dead!" He smiles at you and bumps your hip back. The elevator dings and opens to reveal all of his fellows who walk out informing House that their "patient" is ready to be scanned. You watch as their jaws drop when they notice your intertwined hands.

You giggle and follow House into the elevator waving goodbye to his fellows as the doors slide shut.

"They are never going to stop talking about this." He looks at you and smirks.

"I guess I'm just going to have to hide out in the morgue more often. I wonder if there is someone alive in there to keep me company?" You smile at him pretending to ponder on his question.

"I think I know someone who works there that might be interesting to talk to." The elevator dings and the doors slide open. You pull House once again and start making your way to the MRI lab.

"Enough sappy stuff! Let's go kill a dead guy!" You look back at House and he just shakes his head at you affectionately.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

Author's Note: Guys im finaly done with school! (at least for the summer) and I'm planning on writing a lot more! please leave some asks and be patient with me as I am trying my best here😭😭😭

[wilsonology]

house md characters as my little pony characters. cause like. why not

gregory house: discord

both are manipulative, irreverent, and cause problems on purpose. they thrive on destabilizing the people around them just to see what happens. but deep (deep. like deep) down, there’s a soft spot. and they both get wildly defensive if anyone suggests they care.

james wilson: fluttershy

empathetic, conflict avoidant, constantly trying to help dysfunctional creatures (cough house slash discord). fluttershy literally takes care of wounded animals. wilson takes care of wounded. um. women. both are kind to a fault, and both have that surprising backbone that shows up once in a blue moon

lisa cuddy: twilight sparkle

both are overachieving, hypercompetent, type-a control freaks. they’re like. “if i don’t micromanage literally everyone in this hospital/magical kingdom, the entire thing will collapse.” they’re organized, responsible, and stubborn, but also have a secretly chaotic streak that slips out when things get too stressful (or when house pushes every button she has).

allison cameron: applejack

applejack is honest, dependable, and the moral backbone of her group — cameron is the same!! she wants things to be good and right. she’s dependable, sincere, and will stand her ground if her principles are being stepped on — but sometimes takes herself (and her ideals) a little too seriously.

robert chase: rarity

rarity gets dismissed for being vain and shallow, but actually she’s creative, hardworking, and generous in her own way! same with chase. people underestimate him because he’s pretty, posh, and occasionally a suck-up — but he’s got depth, ambition, and sharp instincts. both are stylish & a little dramatic

eric foreman: princess luna

luna isolates herself. foreman isolates himself. both struggle with feeling fundamentally different from the people around them. luna’s whole thing is “i don’t fit in with the others, i have to hold myself to a higher standard,” which is basically foreman’s entire life. they both balance bitterness with a genuine desire to do the right thing, and they’re both more sensitive than they’ll ever admit.

thirteen (remy hadley): starlight glimmer

starlight is sarcastic, guarded, and deeply afraid of intimacy. she keeps people at arm’s length because she’s scared of getting hurt (hi thirteen). both are competent, capable, and devastatingly smart — but their whole arc revolves around learning to let people actually matter to them.

chris taub: rainbow dash (but in denial about it)

taub wants to believe he’s cooler than everyone else. he projects arrogance. flirts too much. and leans on humor to hide the fact that he’s actually deeply insecure. rainbow dash does the same thing. both need constant reassurance that they’re talented, valuable, and not secretly failing at life (+ also chronic smug face lol)

lawrence kutner: pinkie pie

kutner is pure chaos. but like. the friendly, loveable kind. pinkie’s randomness isn’t that far off from kutner randomly shooting himself with a taser just to see what happens. both are energetic, fun, and bring levity to a group that desperately needs it and when they’re gone, it hits hard.

amber volakis: tempest shadow

amber is sharp, driven, and willing to do whatever it takes to win. tempest has the same edge — all armor, no vulnerability… until the cracks start to show. both operate like lone wolves because they’ve convinced themselves that needing people = weakness. but once someone gets past the walls… oh, it’s so over

stacy warner: princess celestia

celestia keeps discord vaguely in line! stacy keeps house vaguely in line! both are elegant, poised, and deeply self assured. both carry that weird bittersweet sadness of having loved someone who will never quite be easy to love.

[comicwritesstuff]

okay this is so incredibly specific so please feel free to ignore BUT i’ve been wanting to read a fic for ages where the reader is Chase’s childhood best friend from Australia and she moves to New Jersey for a fresh start. She’s staying with Chase while she gets settled, and one day she comes to visit him at lunch at the hospital, where she ends up meeting House and he’s… intrigued by her 👀 either romantic or smut would be so very cool :^D <33 💐

YES. I LOVE THIS PROMPT IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT IM FINISHED!!!

Gregory House x Fem!Chases bsf!Reader

Warnings: None really, just cussing and tooth rotting fluff >:) 3k+ words.

Chase's POV: 

“Well I was just wondering if we could go out sometime, I think you're really-” My attention shifted as y/n's call lit up my phone, interrupting the conversation. It was a more pressing matter than pursuing a one-night stand.

“Excuse me for a moment.” I say walking away, the woman having an annoyed look on her face. 

I answer the phone.

“Hello, y/n? Whats up” 

“Chase! Long time no talk haha.”

“You called me yesterday.”

“Learn to take a joke, anyways, I have some exciting news for you.”

“I’m moving to New Jersey!!” 

“Wait what? Really?”

“Yeah, I kinda forgot to tell you and i'm actually at the airport right now, so I hope you aren't busy tomorrow so you can pick me up.”

“Wow, um alright, yeah I can pick you up, do you have a place to stay?"

“Um…no…” I sigh, “Just stay at mine for now.”

“Don't even with the sigh i’ve known you my whole life you can put the nightly hookups on hold for your best friend.” 

I smirk and shake my head, “Yeah yeah, I’ll see ya tomorrow y/n” 

Y/N’s POV:

I smile as I hang up with Chase, grabbing my luggage and pulling it along the airport. Ahh yes, crying babies, rushed parents, annoying couples and that one insanely attractive person you see for a split second, I love the airport. 

Glancing at my ticket I realize I might have to hurry to make it to the gate, speed walking I see a text from chase, “Have a safe flight.” Let's hope so. 

Time skip (to lazy to write all the details about fucking airports)

Relaxing on a 21-hour flight proved challenging, especially with a toddler nearby. It was unclear whether the toddler would be a source of annoyance or just be tolerable. The flight just started. So to entertain myself I decide to do some digging about Chase's job, he brags about it all the time and the infamous Dr Gregory House. To be honest I thought Chase was gay for a little while with how much he talks about him. Still speculating. 

The plane lifts off and I start my look, at first just looking up Gregory House, a surprising amount of things show up. An article titled, “Gregory House, Talented Doctor? Or a lying Narcissist?” Oh well that's a good first impression.   

Scrolling down I see another article, “The world's greatest doctor, and his deepest secrets” 

Now that's enticing. I click on it only to find out his deepest secrets, including using 3 in one shampoo and how his leg got hurt. I guess people hardly know anything about him. I click on the photos of him, there's only a couple, most of them blurry but to be honest he's pretty good looking from the photos I can see. I’d honestly be gay for him if I was Chase. 

The toddler next to me starts giggling, I glance at her and notice her staring at a picture of House. She's kicking her feet too. That's so relatable. 

For the rest of the flight I find some stuff about this guy named Taub, who somehow also figured out that he cheated on his wife which is why he had to quit. How did I find that out? I took a coding class in 8th grade. (I got lucky) 

Lisa Cuddy the Dean of Medicine, unfortunately only good stuff about her, boring. 

Remy Hadley, oddly, can't find anything on her. 

Eric Foreman, his brothers in jail, fun. 

And the others are just as boring. For the remainder of the flight, the toddler proved surprisingly chill. I passed the time by binge-watching random movies I had downloaded earlier

*Another time skip to plane landing* 

Finally, 21 hours on a fucking plane is horrible. 

I check my phone after I take it off airplane mode, seeing a text from chase a couple minutes ago. 

“I’m at the airport, is your flight done?”

“Yep, wya.”

“I’m parked in the front.”

“That's specific” 

“There's no other front dumbass”

I roll my eyes at his text, and get off the plane as soon as I can. I walk out and see Chase standing outside his car waiting for me. His eyes light up as he spots me, and a grin spreads across his face. Unable to resist, I rush forward and envelop him in a bear hug.

“Man you’re a lot uglier in person” 

I say jokingly, smirking.

“Oh shut up”  

We climbed into his car, and he drove us back to his apartment. When we arrive he helps get my crap into the house, before he gets a call saying he had to head to work. 

Eventually a week or two passes, I've gotten more comfortable in his apartment, applied for a bunch of jobs, and looked for places to stay so I’m not invading his “man” space anymore. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of options, and no jobs have replied to my applications, which is weird since im overqualified, it's almost like they aren’t even getting my applications in the first place. 

I’m doing the dishes when I get a text from Chase.

“Hey, I left my wallet on the counter, so I don’t have money for food, could ya bring it for me?” 

“Nah”

“See you soon”

I breathe out a laugh and grab his wallet, putting a coat on then driving to the hospital. 

When I get there I walk in, looking around before I call Chase, “Where do I go this place is huge” I can hear talking in the background, actually more like arguing. “Uhm just wait at the entrance i’ll be right there.” He says in a whisper.

He hangs up so I just stand there awkwardly waiting, that was a weird ass phone call. To be fair Chase is a weird ass guy with weird ass coworkers so what do I expect at this point. 

Before I see Chase I see Dr Gregory House, limping quickly towards me. And damn he’s even hotter in person than the pictures I saw of him. 

“Hey, no time to explain, you need to come with me.” He grabs my arm dragging me into the elevator. Before it closes I see Chase come out of the stairway, he sprints towards the elevator but it closes. I hear him trying to say something, but it's muffled and I can’t understand it. Wait why the fuck did I even follow House? 

“You're real compliant, you’d make a great hooker.” 

I turn around and side eye him.

“Thanks, so would you.” I say giving a fake smile. 

“Speaking of compliant, why did you drag me away from Chase? What's going on?’’

“I made a bet with Chase.”

“That's really specific and helpful thanks” 

“Oh yeah no problem” 

Sarcastic asshole. 

“If you don’t tell me, I'll stop following you and go with Chase.” 

He rolls his eyes.

“Fine, Mom! The bet is that I can convince you to work as my assistant here.”

“Really? That's it? I need a job. Why would Chase even bet against that?” 

“He thinks you’ll fall in love with me so he doesn’t want that to happen, in his words, “She has a thing for homeless looking, narcissistic assholes with beards.” So he’s trying to prevent it, and he’s sure he can.”  

Damn- I feel so called out. I stay silent before nodding.

“Well to be honest he isn’t wrong.” 

I see House smirk before we get out of the elevator, he hobbles and leads me to his office, locking the door then having me sit down. 

As I sit down in front of his desk, he grabs a ball and starts throwing it against the wall, while sitting down. 

“So are you gonna interview me or something?” 

“Yeah, I’m just waiting for Chase to get back up here so he can watch me interview you.” 

He really is an asshole…it's kinda hot though. 

“Fair enough.” 

We wait a bit before Chase comes jogging up to the door, out of breath, he’s clearly been running plenty. He starts banging on the glass door that House previously locked.

“House!! Y/N! Let me in! This isn’t fair!” He exclaims, House is grinning when he leans over his desk, crossing his arms.

“Okay! Let’s start this interview now.” 

“Y/n! You traitor!” 

Did I abandon my childhood best friend for some disabled doctor? No, I did it for the job. At least that's what I'm telling myself.   

Turning my attention back to House instead of the Australian cry baby outside the door, he asks me, “First question, do you want the job of being my assistant?” 

“Obviously”

“Great! You have the job!” 

I mean, easy enough. I smile and shake my head. This hospital really has some unique people. 

House shakes my hand, grinning as Chase is sitting on the floor defeated outside. 

As the days turned into weeks at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, I got to know everyone. Cuddy had to actually approve of me working as House’s assistant first, but once she saw a…normal enough individual, she welcomed me into the environment.

Getting to know House better, I found myself drawn to him in ways I hadn’t really expected. The bet between House and Chase, Chase thinking I would fall for House, I took it as a joke, until that joke turned more into reality. 

Despite House being a narcissistic piece of shit, there were small moments that I saw, or shared with him that made me fall for him. Ones where he seemed happy, or just easy to be around. At work he's serious but when Wilson dragged him out to bars, or other social environments, he could actually be fun. And though him being a dick is undeniably attractive sometimes, when he was…”himself” that's how I began to fall for him.  

One day, after an especially tough day for the team, and being forced to go break into houses and get coffee and food, I found myself alone with House in his office. The rest of the team had left, leaving us in a rare moment alone with each other. As I glanced up from the medical chart of the most recent patient, I caught House’s gaze lingering on me, his blue eyes intense and unreadable. 

“Something on your mind, House?” I asked, attempting to break the awkward silence between us. 

He smirked, leaning back in his chair with a casual ease, “Oh just wondering why a catch like yourself doesn’t have a boyfriend, or husband?” He responds, his tone laced with flirtatiousness.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his response, a faint blush on my cheeks. House and I had gained an uncanny camaraderie, made from me running around doing everyone's paperwork, being the designated “you get to tell patients they are dying!!” person. And as you’d expect people didn’t respect me a lot, but if someone was blatantly mean to me, House would step in and destroy their self esteem in a second and walk away like it meant nothing. That's another thing that I think made me fall for him. 

“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself that a lot too.” I smile, placing the medical chart on his desk. 

“Do you want a boyfriend? Or girlfriend, or a pet or something.” He quips, his eyes looking like they are reading me, studying my every movement and reaction to what he’s saying, it's flattering and uncomfortable at the same time. 

“A boyfriend would be nice.” I say reassuringly, a laugh escaping me as I shake my head in amusement.

“Alright let's say *hypothetically* I asked you out. *hypothetically* what would your response be?” 

Raising an eyebrow I ask, “Are you trying to go on a date with me?”

“I said hypothetically, now answer the question.” 

A smirk plays on my lips as I roll my eyes in a mock annoyance. 

“Well.” I say, “Hypothetically, I would say yes.” 

“Great, meet me for dinner at (some random fancy place idk u make up a name i'm too lazy to), wear something cute.” 

 With that, he sauntered out of the office, leaving me to think about what just happened. Glancing at the clock, I realized I had just enough time to get ready for our “hypothetical date.” 

The anticipation bubbled within me, standing outside (IDK A RESTAURANT NAME IT), waiting for House to arrive. My heart raced with nervous excitement, unsure what to expect from a…unique…guy like House. I had used all the time I had to work on my outfit, settling for a simple dress (or suit, or just anything you're comfy in :) ). 

As I scanned the busy street, searching for any sign of House, I heard the obnoxiously loud sound of a motorcycle approaching. House rode in, parking his bike before getting off and walking (limping) towards me. My breath caught in my throat as I saw him, he looked impossibly handsome, in a tailored suit that made his rugged charm come out, good god he looked fine. 

“Y/n,” he greeted with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners in genuine affection. “That outfit makes your ass look nice.” 

I scoff playfully, hitting his arm. “So much for acting like a gentleman, at least you look like one.” 

He chuckled, offering me his arm in a more gentlemanly gesture. “Yeah yeah, shall we?” 

With a nod, I looped my arm through his, savoring the warmth of his touch as we mad our way into the restaurant. The ambiance was elegant and inviting, with a soft candlelight casting a warm glow over the decor. 

As we were seated at a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant, I couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement in my chest. I’m finally going out with House, damn Chase was totally right. 

Throughout the evening, our conversation flowed surprisingly easily between us. I had half expected him to be rude or stuck up, but he seemed actually interested in me, in my life. He was asking questions, laughing and joking with me. Sharing stories of his own, and treating me like an actual human. Honestly it was scaring me a bit, but it was making me fall harder for him. 

House raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in his eyes. ‘So, tell my Y/N. What’s the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?” 

I laughed, shaking my head as I thought about the memory. “Well, there was this one time in college-” 

“Let me guess,” House interrupted, a smirk playing on his lips. “It involved copious amounts of alcohol and very questionable decisions?” 

I chuckle and nod in agreement. “You could say that. Long story short, I ended up streaking through the campus fountain at three in the morning. I'm pretty sure Chase might still have a video of it still.”

House raises an eyebrow, an amused laugh coming from him. “I wish I could say I was surprised, oh and also. I am finding that video.” He states, with a determined and mischievous grin. 

The dinner continues and our connection just seems to get stronger, fueled by shared laughter, stories of shit Wilson and him did in college, things Chase and I did in highschool. With each passing moment, I found myself more and more under House’s spell, captivated by the complexity of himself, his character. His gaze, laughter, even his personality. Maybe it was the wine or something, but House was being nice, he had charisma, and was being attractive in general.  

I don’t even realize that we’ve spent almost three hours in the restaurant just talking. I check my phone seeing that it's 9:30 already. We had got and paid the check awhile ago, but had stayed to talk longer. The restaurant closes at 10, and I felt a sudden pang of disappointment that our date was close to being over with. I didn’t want it to end, I was savoring this moment I was having, this seemingly perfect night. 

When the waiter arrived to take our dessert order, I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that the evening was drawing to a close. I wasn't ready for it to end—I wanted to savor every moment, to prolong the magic of our time together for as long as possible.

House notices my look of disappointment, “I’m aware how amazing I am, but if its up to me, this won’t be our last date.” 

A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, my cheeks heating up as I blush. The butterflies in my stomach going absolutely insane. 

So with a quick glance around the restaurant, I rose from my seat, House grabbed my hand as he led me towards the exit. 

Stepping out into the cool night air, I felt a sense of happiness coursing through me. This was it, the beginning of a new relationship, a surprisingly healthy one so far. 

As House’s hand tightened around mine, his touch sent sparks of electricity coursing through my veins. I knew now that maybe Chase knows me better than I know myself, in all fairness he predicted this, but right now I wasn’t afraid to admit this, to admit the undeniable attraction that I had towards Dr Gregory House. 

His touch leaves mine, his hand pulling as we stand in front of the restaurant, close to each other, staring in each other's eyes. I glance at his lips before leaning in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, not sure if he expected it, but I pull back.

“Goodnight House. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that I walk away, to my car. When I get in my car, I look in the mirror, seeing House standing there with a lovestruck grin, one a child would have over some school crush. But it was cute, he was cute. And this was just the beginning of an annoyingly predicated relationship with a Vicodin addicted, asshole, who I suspect has a soft spot for me.

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 1x11, "detox"

house's first dance with withdrawal, the ducklings' shaken faith, and wilson's devotion.

i will be hilson posting in here but! i swear it's actually rooted in some serious thought & consideration lol.

at the top of the recap, i'll include a question - house was dressed pretty well this episode, and has been thus far, with collared shirts, coats, etc. just no lab coat. do you think this changes over time just due to normal tv wardrobe changes, or can we take this as another example of his canonical decline? i can go either way, myself.

anyways! doesn't he look like that one portrait of mary in the above picture? this episode felt like microdosing 5x23-6x02 (iykyk). after rearing its head pretty strongly in 1x09, house's vicodin takes center stage, and he makes a pretty interesting claim to cuddy in the conversation that precedes their bet: "pills don't make me high. they make me neutral." the question of what neutrality means for house is SO interesting.

repression/suppression is a theme we commonly associate with wilson as the show evolves, but 1x11 is super up front that house is Holding Things Back via his addiction (he won't use that lingo at first), which is yet another tease at what his collective backstory looks like. we also get the first mention of his infarction in this episode, along with a vague timeline; wilson details that it happened "a few years ago."

i always thought the premise of this episode is kinda...cruel, which had me gagged when they revealed that the scheme to get house off vicodin for a week was wilson's idea. but i think the cruelty of the idea helps characterize house as being truly and impossibly difficult. "cuddy" (wilson) would not have concocted such an insane scheme, full of temptation of the highest order, if house would be receptive to a lesser offer.

i was really struck with mapping the patient's experience onto house's this episode, and i think the plotlines coalesce nicer than usual in this episode, with a little quirk at the end. the patient, keith, presents with inexplicable internal bleeding, and a true avalanche of failed diagnoses follows. the team eventually lands on lupus - the first time lupus is condemned as a non-answer for house - which sends house over the edge because it's too simple.

lupus represents the admittance that he's an addict with a problem. it would explain so much about house, yet it would also tie him up as A Man With Problems in a neat little bow, too simple for house to make peace with. it's his lived experience; he knows the complexities of what brought vicodin into his life more than anybody (though someone in particular comes pretty damn close). lupus, or the title of addict, cannot fit. because then it's simple. because then house can't hide from the simple, serendipitous, brilliant diagnosis.

this parallel comes to the fore in a heated debate with the ducklings. house admits to cameron that keith's symptoms make lupus "more likely, BUT," that "but" doing a lot of heavy lifting. it could be lupus, he could be an addict, BUT that can't be all there is to it. so he majorly jeopardizes the patient by insisting they investigate hepatitis E.

this debate is so intense that it causes a definitive split from house, which really takes off with cameron after foreman pokes fun at her unflinching loyalty/kindness toward house (i think foreman holds a very reductive view of her and house, but i digress). she can either evade the truth about the treatment toward keith's father (which chase advocates for), or tell the father the truth (foreman's choice). when the elevator eclipses her, a nice visual representation of her ingesting both her peers' opinions, we're not clear what her solution will be.

that she first lies to the father and then violates house's wishes, admitting that she believes in the lupus diagnosis, is probably the greatest hit to the ducklings' faith in house yet.

i know i'm bouncing around a lot here, but this is a congested episode (in a good way!) and i want to make sure i don't forget anything. intermixed with house's rapid decline (in time with keith's almost exactly) are wilson's attempts at helping/solving house. first he hires a masseuse for house, and while my knee jerk reaction is to declare how misogynistic the resulting scenes are, i really need to understand why wilson looks so excited by All This:

i know this isn't really the time/place (and it's too early in the show), but like. sure. hire a bossy masseuse and make jokes about house not getting any lately + imply that you're not getting any, either, despite being married. okay whatever. to say nothing of the house/cuddy masseuse debacle of season 7 lol.

what is generically important about the masseuse is that wilson already feels guilty. he knows he's putting his friend through a hard time - in his mind, it's for house's own good - but tries to alleviate some of it. cuddy, meanwhile, does no such thing lol because she 1) probably understands the value, both for house himself and the hospital, in house getting clean and 2) doesn't have enabler disease like wilson. more on that later.

the next glimpse of wilson's guilt comes after house breaks his own hand. this one is pretty obvious - even though wilson is intrigued to learn that house's brain prioritizes this immediate physical pain over his chronic pain, wilson is still distantly responsible for this. and of course house md takes care, once again, to show us how gentle is by nature:

but a little deeper than this is a perverse interest/satisfaction. i don't think wilson directly experiences this, per se, so much as the audience is tipped off to another dimension of his knack for Getting To House. his guilt is competing not just with a sense that he's doing house a favor by drawing his addiction into the light, but also a small excitement for being needed (this also comes together with confirmed enabler wilson later). house's relief is - understandably - visualized like a moment of ecstasy, and wilson is directly or indirectly responsible for each.

relief from the masseuse, relief from breaking his hand, and relief from winning the bet that wilson constructed.

the power dynamics of 1x11 are subversive here. house has been the one in charge, even winning over cuddy on most occasions, but wilson, the orchestrator behind the scenes, reduces house to this state, and it's not without some satisfaction. hilson psychoanalysts hopefully get what i'm putting down here lol. this reversal is UNDONE, of course, by the total failure of the bet because house only gets halfway to help, halfway to the intended solution.

in house's mind, by the end of the 7 days of no vicodin, sure. he's an addict. but just like how lupus was too simple for keith, that title alone is too simple for house. he's addicted without the problem. how can neutrality be a problem? how can his functionality, which he sees as unimpeded, be a net-negative just because it's narcotic-inspired?

another departure before circling back to that integral house and wilson conversation about addiction without a problem. another way 1x11 highlights wilson's guilt and the cruelty of the entire bet is when cuddy accuses house of "playing chicken" with the patient's life. this is right after it's revealed that cameron told the truth about the lupus diagnosis, so the father is up in arms. however, when cameron explains that she managed to convince the father to trust house anyways, house counters with: "that's when he caved."

they always cave, especially when they go to the Wilson School of Enabling. wilson and cuddy have been toying with house, and it crosses a line eventually.

thus, wilson surrenders to house after yet another brief yet revelatory conversation: "you are not just a regular guy who's getting older. you've changed. you're miserable, and you're afraid to face yourself."

"of course i've changed!"

"and everything is the leg? nothing's the pills? they haven't done a thing to you?"

"they let me do my job, and they take away the pain."

obviously, this conversation is a failure, as is the bet. house proves his point - he is in less pain on vicodin, and they do let him do his job. it's wilson who's concerned with his quality of life. it's wilson who knew him best pre-infarction. it's wilson who, selfishly, wants him back to how he used to be.

if we weren't dealing with THE james wilson, i think we could write off the episode's conclusion as a sad end to a selfish endeavor on his part. yet he makes a fleeting remark to cuddy at the very end that basically dooms himself. when she asks him, "what are you gonna do?" wilson says, "nothing. i've done enough damage."

oh boy!

as we know, wilson will go on to try to help house curb his addiction in the future but, more than anything, he will indulge the hell out of it. season 3's central conflict rides on that fact. the guilt wins out in the end, not house's brilliance, nor inner strength, nor the ducklings' shaken faith, nor the very premise of the episode/the bet itself. wilson caves just like the patient's father did because this - house's pain, his addiction, is infarction - is a fact of life. and, hey, if house's addiction is problem that's unable to be fully solved, than wilson gets the endless well of neediness he's been masochistically searching for.

what an absolutely insane foundational episode for these 2.

lastly, i have 2 separate notes that i want to make:

after keith's father punches house in the face, nobody helps house up. cuddy attempts to but doesn't really follow through, and what's more important is that the ducklings just leave him collapsed on the floor. even though house ends up being write about the final diagnosis (which is the craziest one yet), something has definitely shifted.

foreman being the one to hand house vicodin so he can get through the case really affected me this go-around, but i can't put my finger on exactly why. please share your thoughts, if you have any!

[littlelambscandyland]

Let Her Be

CG!House x Little!Autistic!Fem!Reader

Notes- Made the gal autistic because I am and couldn't stop myself from writing this, leave me alone, lol. That being said I just got my laptop working again, so I'll be working on requests again soon!

Warnings- Skin Picking (around the nails), Arguing (Cuddy and House), Hyperventilating, Panic Attacks, Non-violent biting (mentioned),

(Fun Fact the word count is 2,012 which is the same year the show ended)

It'd been 20 minutes. 20 damn minutes and no one even knew what this conversation was even about anymore. Cuddy had come to talk to House about yet another one of the man's many neglected duties. Normally it’d be a quick in and out where he’d complain, moan, and insult but eventually do, somewhat, what she asked. However, when Cuddy entered his office she noticed one of their interns off to the side. You.

You had been hired a few months back. A part-time intern for the psychiatric department. Cuddy was initially hesitant to hire you on because of your own mental disorders. You were autistic, quite ironic that you went into psychiatry. Despite her initial fear you were proven very useful and hardworking. Sometimes she felt herself feeling bad for ever thinking so wrongly of you, thinking how she played into the stigmas wrongly, but other times she feels glad she pushed those aside to hire you on.

Then again, maybe it was a mistake. Not because of you, mostly. You experienced age regression in high stress situations or for reasons Cuddy wasn’t quite aware of, and House had taken some special interest in you. He made excuses for you to work more with his team. Eventually Cuddy gave in letting you help with their cases by, essentially, being the patients temporary therapists. She gave you a raise and promoted you from intern, though most people still thought of you that way as Cuddy basically made up a position for you, just to shut House up.

The problems only really came when Cuddy noticed House having you around, almost, all the time. Noticing that unless he sent you away you were glued to his side. She also noted that you seemed more childish whenever he was around. Eventually, she realized you were regressed during these times. Of course, by realizing it was actually Wilson telling her after ranting to him about her confusion.

Now the actual problem wasn’t all of this. No. The problem was with House keeping you around all the time you weren’t able to do your actual job. You seriously couldn’t do it while in the mindscape of a five year old. It was ridiculous, so with feeling like there was nothing else to do she changed your job again. This time she made you House’s personal intern. Your new job entitles keeping him on track and mentally stable. Tieing in his need for you to be around and your degree in psychology.

Back to the present. It’s the first time Cuddy had to come and remind House of his job. The man had even been doing his clinic hours with a little less complaints. Today, though, House hadn’t been out of his office all day. According to Forman, House quickly dismissed them of any and all cases, and you’d done nothing about it.

So, here Cuddy was trying to talk to two incredibly distracted people. You wrapped up in a chair at a desk House had added just for you, and House sat opposite from Cuddy. He sparred more looks toward you than at Cuddy. Despite the “serious” talk, House just couldn’t ignore you. Sending funny faces or glances when you weren’t looking. If anyone knew any better they’d say House’s eyes were filled with adoration more than fascination.

And if anyone knew any better they’d realize they were right.

House had no idea when or why you became so important. He remembers meeting you, how kind you were. He remembers how he’d made a rude comment and you immediately shot back. He remembers how he called you out only for you to do the same to him. House remembers how you took everything he threw at you in stride. How you were so sweet and funny. How you willingly showed yourself with little doubt. He saw how sweet you were. How smart you were. How honest you were.

It was just you. Everything about you. He felt protective and calm with you. House felt like he didn’t have to mask himself around you. You openly answered anything he asked you and you told the truth. He knew from the moment he saw you that you were an age regressor. House knew that you wouldn’t hide that part of yourself from him as long as he asked, so he did. House confronted you the way he does everyone, bluntly. You answered him with slight embarrassment, but openly you answered with kindness towards his curiosity. 

Ever since he confronted you on it you’ve been completely responsive to every push he’s given. House can’t explain why but when you willingly started regressing around him he’d gotten so happy that he couldn’t help but coddle you. Even he found it odd how you became so special. A simple fascination turned to admiration. He saw you as a new extension of himself. Not because of how physically young you were to him, but because of how mentally young you could be. Even out of regression you had a positive childish view on things, and House was begging to protect that. He knows how rare a girl like you is. He felt even more proud when you asked him to be your caretaker when you regress. He felt even more proud than that when Cuddy transferred you to a new position as his “personal intern”. He liked spending his days with you. He liked how you needed him.

Now he sat looking at you. Eyes filled with boredom that changes to love whenever he looks towards you. You sat at a colorful deskright across from him. Eyes interchanging between a screen, Dr.Cuddy, and House. Sweet distractions and an inability to hear whatever the two of you are being told. Thick irritation unable to crush your five year old wonder.

You remember asking House if he was alright with having you around so often. You knew how it could be being stuck with someone unwillingly. You remember him telling you to shut up and if he didn’t want you around you’d be gone by now. You remember making him smile genuinely, not a sarcastic cocky one. You remember him questioning everything about you like an intense interview. You remember the smile that he tried to hide in pride when you asked him to be your caretaker.

You moved as gracefully as you could with the new changes thrown at you. You acted with stability and a mask that could be unbreakable. Yet. Anytime you were with House, alone, you dropped the mask and he did too. Two people completely real with who they’re supposed to be, if only for a short time. He saw you in a way most people didn’t. He didn’t doubt you because of your disorder. House became, so quickly, such an important part of your life. Platonically, you loved him and he loved you. Neither of you would admit it, but even when you weren’t regressed you saw him as a father figure. Someone who is actually there, who actually cares about you.

So, here you sat at your desk. The mindset of a child as you did your best to do your damn job. Cuddy scolding you and House simultaneously. Her words work too quickly in a tone you didn’t enjoy so you took in kind the silly looks and glances from House. You “worked” on the small computer in front of you. An open document with random words or phrases you’ve typed out being the only “work” related thing open. All your tabs have games or silly videos on them. Despite your current age you did try to listen to Cuddy, it was just so hard.

Cuddy stopped her rant midway through a sentence. A look of annoyance played in her eyes. She looks over to House who is once again making faces at you, and she looks at you trying your best to suppress your giggles.

“Will you pay attention, damnit.” Cuddy exclaims in frustration.

The sudden exclamation made you stiffen. You immediately shot your eyes to your lap, afraid Cuddy would turn her glare to you.

“Hey!” House shouts out just as quickly. “Watch your tone in front of the kid.” He says with a bit of a tease.

Cuddy bit at her words for a moment. Gapping for only a few seconds while looking between you and House. Finding her words she finally speaks again. “She shouldn’t be a child right now!”

“Well, maybe we should be more accommodating.” House argues, playfully.

“House this is serious. I won't have a reason to keep her working here if she isn’t actually working.” Cuddy replies.

“She is working.” He shakes his head. “She keeps me on track.” He says matter-of-a-factly.

Cuddy narrows her eyes at him. “Not today she isn’t. Today she is the biggest distraction you’ve ever seemed to have. Today you haven’t even taken on a new case!”

Their conversation continues. A bickering background as your mind takes in the overall statement “I’m a burden”. Of course, that wasn’t what Cuddy was trying to say. That doesn't mean that wasn’t the message coming across to you.

Your hands shook as you started to pick at the skin around your nails. Your eyes blurred, not with tears, but because of your ragged breaths. You picked and tore at the flesh. The red didn’t really bother you as you continued to rip at your fingers.

Suddenly House was moving across his office.

“What are you doing?” Cuddy questions before her eyes land on you.

“Will you shut up for like five minutes?” House answers with a voice filled with indignation.

House is near you in seconds. He takes your shaking hands in his and holds them tightly. He tries to guide you. Keyword tries.

“Alright well this isn’t working.” He says to no one in particular.

He pulls you out of your chair and to the couch, sits you in between his legs, and wraps his arms around you. He holds you tightly and says something to Cuddy you can’t quite hear between your own heart beats. Something about not telling anyone something, something.

“Tell me what you need.” He commands.

You shake your head feverishly. You’re pulling his arms more and pushing your back against him.

“Alright, alright.” He says.

One hand goes to your head and his other goes to your legs. He repositions you until your face is shoved into his shoulder. A few more minutes of pushing and pulling, and a bit of biting from your side. Finally you're calm enough for him to get an answer from you.

“What happened?” He asks bluntly.

“burden…” You say, your voice lowly.

“You're not a burden..” House replies quickly.

“That’s what this was about?” Cuddy asked dumbfounded.

He rolls his eyes. “You’re still here?” House asks.

She huffs at him before beginning to walk out.

“Next time watch your mouth in front of the kid!” He calls out to her.

House turns his attention back to you. Your mouth latched onto the collar of his coat and you were lightly chewing on it. 

“What’re you a gerbil? Get that out of your mouth.” He says taking his collar from you. “You know how many germs may be on this thing?” He teases.

“sorry…” You whisper.

He snorts. “No you’re not.”

His response pulls a small giggle from you.

“Hey,” He nudges you. “You’re not a burden. You hear me?” House looks into your eyes.

You nod your head.

“Good. Because if that was your takeaway of the conversation we need to teach you more on reading a room.” He tells you condescendingly. “Because I,” He emphasizes. “Don’t think of you as anything other than my kid.”

The way your eyes lit up at his words made House’s heart swell. If humans were actually made of stardust, House could’ve sworn all of your stardust was in your eyes. A moment of peace after what felt so intense.

Thankfully House didn’t see Wilson standing outside his office watching as, what he called, “House makes progress”.

[all-pacas]

a post about ages that quickly got out of hand

so in house's head 13 says she wasn't born in when a movie came out in 1980, meaning she isn't older than 28 years old. in reality, olivia wilde was 24 at the time, but that's way too young for thirteen: we don't have a Chase Problem, where 13 has had a million subspecialties and needs to be older to account for them, but most people don't actually finish med school until they're 28.

if we assume 13 is doing the normal fellowship thing — that this is her first post after finishing her residency — then she could be 28. that would put her as the same age as kutner (who actually has the opposite problem: kal penn is actually a few years older, but kutner is explicitly 28 when he dies), which kind of fits nicely.

foreman, cameron, park, adams, and taub's ages are never stated. in foreman and taub's cases, we can probably assume they're the same ages as their actors; probably the same for park. adams and cameron, i think, both get the chase/thirteen treatment of being quietly aged up a few years:

omar epps was born in 1973, making foreman 31 in s1, which seems about right for finishing his neurologist training.

chase says he's 30 in s2, making him 29 in s1 (born 1975). (house says he's 26 in s1, which was jesse spencer's age, but the show seems to have realized its mistake, thus the pointed "i am 30" line.)

cameron has a line where she tells a patient the others on the team are older than her. however, jennifer morrison was born in 1979, making her 25 in s1, which is again too young. let's say cameron is 28 in s1, born in 1976. EDIT: Anon pointed out given her training, she really can't be younger than 30 in S1.

for 13 and kutner to be 28 in s4, they both would have been born in 1980/1981.

peter jacobson, and probably taub, was born in 1965, making him 42 in s4.

masters is said to be 29, despite her prodigy status (mostly because she got a few degrees before starting med school).

charlyne li was 26 when they were cast as park. in this case, park doesn't need to be aged up: she's explicitly said to still be a resident when house gets her, so her age works.

adams, however, suffers from extreme Chase Problems: she was 27 when cast, but adams has not only finished medical school and all her training, but also has been working in the prison system for a while. she has to at least be thirty, realistically. i'd honestly put her as a couple years older.

for contrast, wilson starts s1 at 38 years old, cuddy at a wildly implausible but stated 36, and house at 45.

so, just for fun and because this post is rotting my brain, if you lined everyone up in 2004, sometime during the pilot:

HOUSE: 45 WILSON: 38 TAUB: 38 CUDDY: 36 FOREMAN: 31 CHASE: 29 CAMERON: 28 30 KUTNER: 24 THIRTEEN: 24 ADAMS: 22 MASTERS: 22 PARK: 18

[yfere]

House MD's Stellar Wardrobe

I wrote this pretty much solely for @i-exist-solely-for-fandom, who has sucked me into watching the show again for the 10th, 12th, time! Shame on you!

Anyway! House MD in general excels with making characters feel real and distinct in all sorts of small, nuanced ways, but today let's talk about Clothes and what an amazing vehicle they are for characterization in this show -- how House MD as a show cares about clothing as a vehicle for personal expression more than most shows of its kind. Keep in mind that I am not by any means a fashion expert and a fashion expert would probably give you a much better and deeper analysis

The Big Three

1. House

I mean, this one is the most obvious one, but he is The Most Striking Example, intentionally so, of characterization communicated through wardrobe. The way he chooses to dress and the message it sends to others is the *first* subject of conversation he has in the show. He is literally introduced in the pilot as the doctor who refuses to wear a lab coat (like a doctor is supposed to) because he doesn't want to look like a doctor, the one with a cane that makes people mistake him for a patient, who is both combative towards authority and nonconforming in dress -- the perpetual scruff, the wild hair, the sneakers, either straight up t shirts or casual (un)buttoned shirts with the most tragically chewed-up collars and never-been-ironed wrinkles you have ever seen. He is disheveled, fairly irreverent in style, and what small nods he makes to business dress with slacks or an open suit jacket he is liable to withdraw at any time. It's not that he doesn't know how to clean up -- watch him on a date night or a charity event and he's as sharp as anyone could ask for -- but he prioritizes his own comfort and fun, and more importantly, is overtly contemptuous of authority markers in fashion. He wants to embody the janitor medical expert he met in Japan, he wants his being Right to supersede everything that would make him otherwise offputting or looked down upon. So he straddles the line between the sort of punk rock casual wear he favors and business casual, endures pleading from Wilson to please for the love of [Medicine] wear a tie to court, negotiates with Cuddy over fundraising dress, engages in epic power struggles with Vogler over the lab coat. And so on.

2. Wilson

Wilson, naturally, designed as he is to be House's odd couple counterpart, is fastidious, careful, and conventional in his appearance. He blow dries and styles his hair, uses a dry cleaner, wears his lab coat, tie, and a collection of basically decent but also fairly unimaginative shirts and slacks*. He's not actually very knowledgeable about fashion writ large (House can identify shoe brands, Wilson can only vaguely tell the difference between looking "nice" and not, and his version of dressing up is just wearing a different color shirt or tie) nor does he have a Style in the way that Foreman (the most couture character) does. In short, his wardrobe is very much lacking in personal investment and personality, as he tends to disinterestedly wear Standard Professional Attire. He's not stiff, though -- he is the only character whose natural state is with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, which besides his own personal comfort has the effect of making him seem warm, approachable, and down-to-earth. (and he is warm and approachable!) He keeps and can be more than once found wearing his McGill sweatshirt, which communicates his inclination to sentimentality as a character. He holds on to his university sweatshirt, he holds on to the toys and artifacts of all of his patients, he holds on to the little artifacts that Amber leaves behind. He self-flagellates by not wearing a coat. That's the kind of person he is, and it's indelibly also part of what he wears.

*a few of his ties are quite nice, but his failure to be nice consistently makes me doubt his ability to appreciate the bigger picture, frankly

3. Cuddy

The person who inspired me to start pontificating about wardrobe! Cuddy has her own brand of transgressive style, with a wardrobe that is an interesting meditation on her relationship with wielding power and authority. House makes fun of her for it excessively, but it is a fact that Cuddy does frequently delight in wearing the sexiest clothing possible, within the negotiable boundaries of professionalism. It's tasteful, confident, and very intentional -- this is a woman who through grit, tenacity and cleverness succeeded as the first and only female Dean of Medicine, the one holding the reputation of Princeton Plainsboro and House's leash in her hands. She's there to play fast and loose with the rules when she needs to, is confident and authoritative, and has nary a visible chink in her armor -- and all of this is bound up in and communicated through her dress. Her outfits say, "Don't worry, I'm not a stickler," at the same time they demand you take her seriously or fear for your life. Far be it from her to hide femininity -- rather, she revels in it, takes pride in her body, will happily wield attractiveness or discomfort like a cudgel, like any other tool. Who she is and what she looks like is everyone else's problem, to accept or reject (or, as they should, appreciate) -- she's just out having a ball with it. I imagine that this attitude towards fashion is one of the reasons she and House hit it off so well, though she is notably more flexible than House and will comfortably lean on both sides of the scale as the situation requires.

This is already quite long without me getting into any of the fellows, but I could!!! I definitely could

[some-pacas]

PATERNITY

If first episodes are all about introducing characters, second episodes tend to be more focused on establishing them. Interestingly (to nerds like me), the original script for Paternity is available online, and reveals it was written to be the fourth episode, not the second — I think switching the order makes sense, though.

But first, a quick tangent. The order of episodes according to scripts is Pilot, Socratic Method, Maternity, Paternity, Damned if you Do, and then Occam's Razor. I have no idea what order they were filmed in, but there's some fascinating potential: Socratic Method is another episode where House bonds very strongly with a patient, which would have been an interesting introduction to the character. We also would have learned about Chase's seminary days before his mother, which is also kind of nuts when you think about it — House's good boys do what they're told line coming after an episode that has already proved him right. It also explains why Foreman spends part of Socratic Method still going around asking questions about House — it's his second case/week on the job.

But I think switching the episodes around was ultimately for the best, because Paternity does a lot to fill in certain gaps from the Pilot.

To start, Chase is actually given characterization here. He's much more energetic and engaged than he was in the previous episode, and his asskissing is established repeatedly and in fine form: Chase is shown to be largely clueless about the case (he struggles with a medical crossword, he offers no insights or information to the differentials), but makes up for it with his perceptiveness, a trait that is established here and will keep showing up for the series. Chase might not have a clue what's going on, but he knows House does, and is able to (accurately!) guess the answer; in a throwaway line, Cameron also mentions he asked the parents not to sue the hospital and they listened. He's still not shown to be all that bright, but now we have a feel for who he is: a suck up, rather charming, and very observant.

Cuddy also feels more like "herself" in this episode compared to the last. While she's still stern and much more distant from the cast than she will later be (although not as blatantly as Wilson, who actually seems to have a job this episode), her getting in on the paternity bet is absolute Cuddy, and overall she seems to be having more fun dealing with House than last week, which is a pretty crucial distinction! As she herself points out, she hired House for a reason; she likes and respects him. She is antagonistic, but not the antagonist.

Cameron is also, briefly, fleshed out: she is still earnest and eager to help, although still a bit thin-skinned (she takes quick offense at House's assumption she is an only child). We also see a hint of her manipulative/sneaky streak in this episode, forging a letter in House's name to force him to deal with a patient: Cameron is such a wide-eyed idealist it can be easy to forget she's pretty pragmatic and quick to take action if it's for a larger good.

Foreman, as usual in these early episode, is given the most to work with. He and House lead the differential, and where neither Chase or Cameron offer useful ideas, Foreman is able to figure out treatment a couple of times — most notably at the end of the episode, when House defers entirely to his expertise in curing the kid's measles. It really is the House and Foreman show at this point. The show immediately pairs them: in this episode and the last, they are carrying the bulk of the differentials and patient care between them, with House as mentioned deferring to him and soliciting his advice and expertise in a way he really doesn't often do with others, at least not so frequently. In one of the least subtle scenes in the show, he even stops to make Foreman coffee, not even bothered to ask Chase and Cameron if they want any. House!

Even House seems a bit more "right" this episode: he is snarky, less withdrawn and more engaged, and overall sharper. The case helps: where Rebecca was (by House standards) fairly dull, Dan gives him a lot more to react to. To start, House made a point in Pilot about patients lying, but the only lie of the episode was Wilson's (and we can discuss that), but Dan's parents aren't just lying, but lying about important medical information; if House hadn't distracted himself with the paternity bet, well…

Patient histories, in the literal sense, is something of a theme in this episode. Cameron (surprisingly) fails to take a good family history — she forgets to ask about head trauma (!) — but her lapse leads to House taking the case; one clinic patient is lying about his medical record and motives, and Dan's parents are omitting the truth because they don't think it matters. We're really getting the full spectrum here, and there's something to the fact that House himself doesn't seem to differentiate between lies of omission and white lies and big old falsehoods. There's also something to the fact that while House gleefully spends the episode joking about how devastated Dan and his father will be by the "reveal" he isn't the father, both parties knew all along. Is a lie still a lie if everyone already knows the truth? This will come up! A lot!

(As will, of course, House's near obsession with the concept of wives cheating on their husbands and men unknowingly raising bastards. Hmm! Wonder why!)

[scribbling-md]

Pilot

hi! I'm tumblr user @maudlin-scribbler <- this is only a sideblog, one of the many masks i wear haha, and anyway I've decided to make my own rewatch posts because it seems like fun and I do have a lot of thoughts that I've always wanted to talk about. This is gonna be less an analysis at times and more me gushing about how much I love certain stuff, I bet

I have said this a lot, but House MD is a show that got me hooked straight from the beggining, y'know? I genuinely think that the pilot's one of my favorite episodes and very fun, features one of my favorite patients as well.

This episodes introduces and tackles a lot of House MD's themes and messages, Everybody lies, "You can't always get what you want", "It's not what people say, it's what they do" (Love's a verb, love's a doing word). I also appreciate the sherlock holmes references (Rebecca Adler) hah. Despite trying to fit all these in one episode, it's surprisingly coherent.

This episode starts with Rebecca, who introduces the concept of lying when she talks to the other teacher "I wouldn't lie to you" and when she talks to her students, telling them that they shouldn't lie to their parents. Which leads us to House.

What I really like is that House may be the main character, but Wilson is the first between the two of them to speak. And Wilson does just that -- lie. To House, so he would take Rebecca, who he claims is his cousin, as a patient.

and House! There is so much to talk about him!! Obvoously, as he is the main character (and one of my favorite characters!) I find really fascinating the way he sees himself, his "they all think i'm a patient because of this cane". in general the emphasis on his disability, especially in the pilot, is something that i have always found interesting. it's the first thing he defines himself as, and somethung he clearly has feelings about. in a deleted scene, wilson literally grabs him by his cane to stop him from leaving (interestingly -- but unsurprisingly -- wilson is the only one allowed to do anything to house's cane).

at first we are told that he doesn't care about patients (and says stuff like "Humanity is overrated"), hides away from the world and is miserable, that the only thing he cares about is the puzzle, the case.

And then we find that that's absolutely not true, that his problem is once he meet them and bonds with them he starts to care, he stops being objective (which is explicitly stated by Wilson, the one who knows House the best). That House cares, and while he might almost never express it in his words, he does in his actions. It's one of my favorite things about him.

I do want to mention how...sombre House is compared to the rest of the series, even the rest of season 1. Rather than the mystery be the patient, House is as much as a main character as he is the mystery, both to Foreman, and to the audience.

And House's conversation with Rebecca is honestly one of my favorite moments in the whole show, no doubt. I've seen someone say that Rebecca was probably one of House's favorite patients, and I tend to agree(She was, after all, Rebecca Adler, the Woman). She earned his respect. He saw herself in her. They mirror eachoter. She's scared she'll turn into him, she just wants to die with a little dignity, though there is no such thing. I absolutely love his speech about there being no dignity in dying.

one of my favorite characters in the show is cuddy, and while her chracterization isn't as strong in the pilot, I still love her character. it's established that she keeps house on a tight leash and whatever he tells her she can throw right back. house tells her "you can't always get what you want" and cuddy later tells him "but if you try sometimes, you'll get what you need", and it's one of my favorite moments.

and of course, I can't not mention Foreman! I like Foreman, and I love how in a way House MD is kind of the House and Foreman show at first, how important of a character is he, how this is literally his first case. How we learn that he went to the same med school as House, how they have multiple conversations and House clearly cares about his expertise. How House hired him because maybe, in some way, he sees himself in him. I also love his "Dr Wilson convinced you to treat this patient under false pretenses"e

Cameron is another great character, and while I am not the Cameron guy, I really do appreciate her. I find her explaining stuff about House to foreman really endearing, I really love how she thinks of herself as The House Whisperer, it's so cute lol. And I find the way she'd rather give patients false hope rather than no hope at all fascinating. Also I often think about the scebe towards the end, how House reveals that he sort of hired her for her looks (but of course, that's only half the story. He hired her because he deduced that she must be as damaged as she is beautiful) (and I love the other deleted scene where it's shown that she is the one answering his emails. everything about her is so endearing <3)

I would also like to mention Chase. Out of all the characters in the pilot, chase has the least going on of any character, but I do want to shout out the (ominous in hindsight) moment where the patient asks Chase if he is dr House and he says "Thankfully, no". Oh, my dear Chase.....

Alrhough he does also save the day with his idea! So he does have one thing going on

[alilixx]

Heard that requests are open so I thought I could give my women cuddy some love HAHA,, how about, for smut, cuddy being stressed with hospital management issues so you voluntarily help her relax by eating her out in her office ;) a spicy funny plot you could consider is that, reader had an infatuation with house, but house being house, rejected them, so reader is infatuated and persues cuddy and cuddy gives reader a chance. When reader and cuddy is done with their little eat out sess, house walks in. You could put in some house-ass dialogue like “This place smells like sex” and reader sassily replying “What? You jealous?” tryna get back at him HAHA,, honestly yea, have fun with this request, change the plot, add more, just have fun !! I’m just really glad people are writing for cuddy

I love your request, i will do it with PLEASURE!

You still remember that evening with unsettling clarity, as if it were yesterday. You had met in that small, intimate restaurant, chosen for its cozy ambiance and refined dishes. House was on time, which was an accomplishment in itself.

From the start, the conversation flowed easily. House, with his sharp mind and usual sarcasm, led the discussion. You were fascinated, hanging on his every word, trying to follow the thread of his labyrinthine thoughts.

Then, things started to go awry. Maybe it was when you mentioned your admiration for his work while adding that his methods were sometimes controversial. House raised an eyebrow, a smirk on his face. He began asking more personal, more invasive questions. It was his test, and he showed no mercy.

"So, you think my methods are controversial? What makes you so sure of your judgments?" he had shot back. Every answer seemed like a trap, a new subject for him to analyze.

You tried to defend yourself, explaining that you respected his ingenuity but also believed in traditional medical ethics. House listened to you, or rather let you talk, waiting for you to entangle yourself in your own contradictions.

Then, without warning, he abruptly cut the conversation short. "You know, you are interesting, but not enough for me to want to extend this evening. I appreciate the effort, really, but this isn't what I'm looking for."

You were left speechless, the raw truth hitting you hard. Without even tossing a bill for the check, House stood up and, without a backward glance, left the restaurant.

Left alone, your thoughts swirled. The evening you had so eagerly anticipated had turned into one of those stinging memories. Going out with Gregory House was no small feat; it was an ordeal, a battle of wits where you had failed.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

It was a few months after that memorable incident with House, and now you were engaged to Cuddy. You wanted her to be your wife, to share the same name, whichever that might be. You just wanted to show that she was taken, as a femme fatale like her often attracted attention, and it sparked your jealousy. Of course, you said nothing because she rebuffed them or you defended her when some were too persistent, but you had faith in her power and authority.

You were the only one who could help her in the evenings when she came home tired, sick, or sad. And that was worth its weight in gold. Unfortunately, Cuddy's stress had significantly increased. She often sent you messages asking to discuss, have lunch, and other things, but over time, these solutions were no longer enough. You had to negotiate for… sex. She was initially against it, but she eventually relented, though only in private places like an examination room. She enjoyed it a lot, so you continued in various locations. Up to her office.

She enjoyed the thrill of risk, and she knew how to stay stoic. So, it wasn’t a problem for you to tend to her intimate areas while she worked, at least until House walked in.

That day, you were in her office. Cuddy was sitting at her desk, her legs slightly parted under the table, and you were kneeling in front of her. She wore a pencil skirt that, when lifted, revealed elegant yet practical underwear. You gently pushed the fabric aside to access her intimacy, your fingers and tongue exploring every inch of her delicate skin. She kept one hand on your head, guiding you gently while nervously tapping on her keyboard with the other hand.

Cuddy was a master of control, but you could feel her body reacting to your touches. Her breath grew shorter, and her thighs instinctively tightened around your head. You loved the feeling of driving her wild with desire while knowing she had to remain calm and composed. The contrast between her stoic face and what you were making her feel below was incredibly exciting.

Suddenly, the door opened and House walked in, without knocking. You immediately felt Cuddy’s legs close around your head, hiding you from his view. "I see you’re busy," he said with a smirk, unfazed.

Cuddy, despite her compromising position, remained composed. "Greg, this is really not the time. Leave," she replied, her voice calm but firm.

House, still nonchalant, didn’t seem in a hurry to leave. "Interesting choice of office for a private consultation," he remarked, glancing around the room. Finally, with a final pointed look, he turned and left, closing the door behind him.

Cuddy gently released you, her breath still rapid. "We need to be more careful," she murmured, her tone a mix of reproach and relief. You nodded, understanding the need for discretion. Despite the risk, you knew these moments of intimacy were essential for her, for both of you.

You resumed your touches, more softly this time, sensing that she was relaxing again. She placed her hands on your face, guiding you to where she needed you most. You could feel her tension dissipate, her pleasure rising once more. And this time, nothing and no one would interrupt this moment of pure connection between the two of you.

This wasn’t the first time House had tried to negotiate a threesome or used this situation to unsettle you, but neither you nor Cuddy reacted to his provocations. He had been coming into Cuddy’s office more frequently, using this leverage to get what he wanted. One day, not seeing her just before a meeting, he knew where to look. He headed to a storage area and watched from a distance. Cuddy was lying on a cart while you were playing with her, neither of you having noticed him.

To reward him, you suggested placing a vibrator on her during the meeting. Her reaction was unanimous: "No." But with some pleading and a few kisses here and there, she eventually relented. You were thrilled to tease her, as that was all you planned to do. Throughout the meeting, she felt vibrations in her intimate areas, but she never reached her peak, as coming during a meeting would almost certainly cost her job, so you intended only to torment her.

Cuddy was seated at the conference table, surrounded by her colleagues, maintaining a stoic expression while the vibrator, controlled remotely by you, sent gentle pulses at irregular intervals. You watched discreetly from the back of the room, savoring every micro-expression that betrayed her pleasure. Seeing her tense up at times, watching her breath catch, was the most exquisite sight.

At one point, she met your gaze, her eyes shimmering with a mix of challenge and desire. You slightly increased the intensity, watching her tense up a bit before regaining control. You knew that the tension between professional duty and personal pleasure excited her just as much as it did you.

The meeting ended without major incident, but you knew Cuddy was on the verge of exploding. When she returned to her office, you were waiting there, a satisfied smile on your lips. "You're amazing," you whispered, kissing her softly. She responded with restrained fervor, her hands gripping your waist firmly.

"You too," she replied, her voice husky with desire. "But now, it's time to finish what you started." And with no further preamble, she pushed you against the desk, determined to regain control of the situation. Her expert hands roamed your body, each touch sending waves of shivers through you. You shared deep, passionate kisses, your bodies pressing against each other with palpable urgency.

Cuddy pushed you onto the desk, her lips never leaving yours. Her skilled fingers quickly found their way to your vagina, causing you to moan uncontrollably. She knew exactly how to drive you wild, each movement, each gesture calculated to bring you to the brink of ecstasy. With her deep, sensual voice, she simply said, "Control your moans, my love, no one must hear you." You placed your hand over your mouth to stifle the sounds, but Cuddy had other plans, using her mouth to kiss you and swallow every one of your moans.

You were in perfect harmony, each sensation amplified by the risk and excitement of your environment. Cuddy took her time, savoring every moment, every reaction of your body beneath hers. She loved seeing you succumb to her touches, and you surrendered, relishing the intense and intimate connection.

The tension built up to a crescendo, each second bringing you closer to the point of no return. You were alone, lost in this bubble of pleasure, forgetting everything else. The outside world ceased to exist; there were only the two of you, bound by this burning, insatiable desire. You came on her hand, and a few seconds later, you saw her licking her fingers with your taste on them, which made you blush, and her response was a simple wink.

[aropride]

ok my prediction for the end of the show Dont tell me if im right i just want to be able to brag later if i am. Spoiler warning btw tho bc i do know some stuff already

ok ive seen enough spoilers to know house dies at the end. my guess is its from cancer, specifically brain cancer and a tumor has been causing his hallucinations. guessing it will be very tragic. possibly his own hubris will kill him which would be fun. maybe someone elses hubris. He's definitely gonna start vicodinmaxxing at some point right it's so strange to see him without a bottle of pills

guessing chase will become Worse. not sure in which ways but he will be Worse.

i want to believe thirteen will be doing okay, foreman as well.

im fully expecting taub to get a divorce by the end of the series. sorry taub

house and wilson will get gayer. i dont think they will kiss or do anything Explicitly gay. but i think it will be undeniable

before i saw the house dies spoiler i had known Someone would die (the last episode is literally called everybody dies). and i was thinking wilson + brain cancer (have brain cancer on the mind for some reason? wait Lol. mind. get it bec-) But i dont think they would both die, at least not of the same type of cancer, i feel like that would be like. a strange writing choice? but also this show has a lot of things id usually consider strange writing choices done Really Well, so idk. maybe they Would both die

i dont think house and cuddy will ever for real get together. he's too tormented she's too normal. i dont expect the lucas storyline to go thru to the end of the show tho either

last episode of the show someone nukes the hospital and it blows up and everyone dies and gets reborn but with amnesia. <- this is a JOKE that would be such a terrible fucking ending im so glad no media in the history of the world has ever ended like that.

i Want there to be more chase lore revealed i want to know everything about him i want to pick him apart and study him like a bug. i want to put him in my washing machine and watch him tumble around

ok. im done now. will add any other predictions as i think of them. again Nobody confirm anything

[maudlin-scribbler]

(My) Ranking of house md seasons

– because why not? (also I am writing this now because I wanna see if my feelings change as I continue my rewatch!)

1) Season 2

As it's been said before, it really is typical House MD, really the best season in my opinion. The plot is fairly interesting, lots of compelling character developments. It's the first time we hear about Cuddy's wish to have a kid, Wilson starts living with House, just,,,, Cameron and Chase and the camchase hookup, we get to meet House's parents, and Euphoria part 1 and 2 are seriously some of my favourite episodes EVER, ALSO Stacy!!!! I love her. We don't have any "villains" like Vogler in season 1 or Tritter in Season 3, it's just the characters being put in situations. It's fun, and has that early seasons charm. (other episodes I love are Autopsy, Daddy's Boy, Hunting, All In, Sleeping Dogs Lie, House vs. God and Who's your Daddy? Stopping myself because otherwise I'd list all the episodes.)

2) Season 1

It is the one I am rewatching right now, and I seriously love it. The first time I watched House, I "fell in love" straight from the Pilot, because it really is good from the get-go! Some of this show's best episodes (in my opinion) are in Season 1, such as Histories, Control and Three Stories. In some ways it's still finding its footing, like House being not quite as prickly as he in later seasons. Wilson is Also There in a lot of episodes, which I do enjoy, and I love Cuddy a lot as well.

3)...Season 3

If I didn't love Season 1 and 2 as much as I do, it would be higher on the list! I love the camchase fwb thing where Cameron definititely doesn't have feelings for Chase, nu-uh, and One Room is probably one of my favourite episodes from any show ever. I kind of don't like the Tritter arc because to me it's very frustrating to watch and such a drag but I do get what they were going for, and it does kind of pick up after Son of a Coma Guy.

Shout out to: Nurse Wendy (and Foreman getting her a job in ANOTHER STATE, as evidence number one that he Will sabotage any relationship that's going anywhere), House FAKING BRAIN CANCER, Bonnie Wilson (the wife Wilson "cheated on" with House LMAOO, I'm sorry my poor girl, you're the worst realtor in New Jersey and I love you for it). Honestly, were it not for the weird thing with the 17 year old I would rank it higher.

4) Season 5

It's really...I love it sooo much. Birthmarks is another episode I'm really fond of, and this is when House's new fellows really get the time to shine and we get to really know them fro the first time. I love House and Wilson's "break up", it's so funny but also sad yknow. I LOVE CUDDY AND RACHEL ALSO 💖💖💖💖 I don't...particularly care for the way Cam and Chase get engaged (Saviors) but I guess it's okay. And...Kutner :((((

things I don't like are Foreteen (or well, I am neutral about them, I think in some ways they were cute but like so obviously not made for eachoter. A sort of wrong people-right situation + timing thing. Fascinating tbh)

5) Season 4

I love it, it's sooooo fun!!! I LOVE THE NEW CHARACTERS!!!! I love the hiring games, although it's really obvious it suffers from not having as many episodes. Amber's relationship with Wilson and her eventual death would have mattered so much more if we had gotten more time with her, in my opinion, and the fellows don't exactly get the time to shine until season 5. I love the Boundaries era with Chase, I love seeing how happy camchase is together lol. It goes with saying that House's Head and Wilson's Heart are some of the best episodes of television, no doubt.

6) Season 6, of course

It's good!!!! I don't have a lot of things to say about it, but it's indeed good. Wait, I do like Alvie. and Uh. I do like the finale(Help Me) of season 6, I very much love the patient and the way House connects with her(and the line "I did everything right! And she died anyway!" will always live in my mind).

Thirteen and Taub are also some of the highlights of the season, and Foreman as well. WAIT I also love Wilson (shout out to Wilson donating a part of his liver to his patient who can't even remember his name lmaooo) and Private Lives, Black Hole, Lockdown, Knight Fall nd 5 to 9 as well. I don't car for The Tyrant nor for the mental hospital/House goes to therapy arc for my reasons.

7) Season 8

It's fine. I love Park and Addams, and if this season wasn't haunted by, well...I think I would have loved them more. I don't care for Foreman as the dean of medicine and what they did with his character (besides his relationship with the married woman lollllll i love that). I love Cuddy so much and I miss her character. I don't have a lot to say about it, besides what they did with Wilson was interesting. It's fine. Also I did kinda like Dominica, I guess?

8) Season 7

THE WRITERS ARE DEAD TO ME

one of its only saving graces was Masters, whom I love dearly. If you know me, you might know the fact that I am a huddy shipper, but season 7 is the bane of my existence because of the writers went about it. At least Rachel was cute and I like the interactions between her and House, and House/Cuddy had some cute moments too. Besides my...gripes(?) with Bombshells, I can however admit that it's an interesting episode, I GUESS. I also do like Unwritten and A Pox on Our House.

In general this is the season of character assasinations and I can genuinely feel myself getting annoyed while typing this lolllll. I am not even gonna talk about Moving On, the finale.

[locke-esque-monster]

There's a part of me that wants to think that House MD is a spiritual successor to Mash (which is a whole separate post). It's fascinating to me because outside of one brief reference in the early seasons to Trapper John, and the whole similar "POV of the patient" episodes, there aren't really any references to Mash within House. And frankly, I'm surprised their aren't unless it was deliberate on the part of the creators. But I honestly prefer to believe Greg House within the confines of the show itself is actually an old Mash fan.

Picture it with me, will you...

A young 13 year old Gregory getting obsessed with the show. In part because it's anti-military and anti-authority sentiment pisses off his dad. But he also loves it's mix of drama, goofiness, and quick-witted banter.

He mostly gets to keep watching it because his Mom also likes it, it reminds her of the quick banter of old screwball comedies of her youth.

Sixteen year old Greg being torn between appreciating the accurate harsh reality of killing off Henry Blake, and the fact he wants to write angry letters to the studio on behalf of his mom because the episode made her cry.

Do you remember in Sherlock (2010) how Mycroft brought up that Sherlock had the mind of a great thinker, but chose to be a detective? And his original hope was to be a pirate? I think of that when I think of how Greg became a doctor. He was never going to be the empathetic doctors he saw on Mash, but the show did infuse an interest in medicine he never quite shook.

Imagine Greg at 24, exhausted from med school and a little choked up watching the finale of a show he's spent half his life watching.

Greg starting our his doctor's career with a hatred of doctor's coats like Hawkeye hated uniforms. He knows it's a cliché for doctors of this era to love Mash so it's his own dirty little secret. The thought of wearing a Hawaiian shirt one day has crossed his mind, but is ultimately rejected because it's not worth the teasing, or really his style.

Greg brings his love of banter and hatred of authority right into his work environment. He also has had no problem mixing the bleak with a sense of humor, maybe a residual effect of so many episodes of Mash.

He also maybe took Henry's season 1 speech about doctors not being able to save young men from dying maybe a bit too seriously, and that mixed with his own cynicism has helped inform his distance from his patients.

House meeting Cuddy and him taking great joy from their Margaret/Hawkeye "pushing back against authority but also kind of flirting" . He knows it'll never work, but damn if it isn't fun. It's fantasy straight out of his teenage years.

His ducklings (Cameron, Foreman, Chase) are his other assorted characters of the camp to bounce off of - the Radars, Klingers, and whatnot. He'll run circles around them verbally, but they have the potential to surprise him with a good idea or a clever comment.

When he met Wilson, it was like meeting his own tentmate in the Swamp. He maybe envisioned a little of having their own Swamp when he convinced Cuddy to move Wilson in next door. He was always sure Wilson was his BJ, with his commitment to his wives - even if maybe he went through them like Trapper did with nurses. But when Wilson left after Amber's death, he wondered if Wilson was maybe really his Trapper all along and his BJ didn't exist. When Wilson came back, House immediately thought back to BJ coming back to Hawkeye in the finale.

Wilson is the only one, other than his mother, who knows of his secret love of Mash. Wilson is also fond of it (he maybe internalized Hawkeye's commitment to his patients). And he sees a bit of Hawkeye in House's sense of humor. They occasionally watch it together and will makes jokes about it when the team or Cuddy aren't around. That said, Wilson has to convince House every so often that "No, we're not building our own still."

[cuddytism]

for the choose violence ask game: any 2 questions you want to answer :3

ooo ooo fun. i think i'm gonna go with 8 & 16

#8 : common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

cuddy fandom characterization!!!!! i think a lot of the fandom tends to lean way too far into cuddy being nurturing or "motherly" in their depictions of her. which is very funny lol. because she really isn't. she's actually very indifferent (borderline avoidant, one could argue) to the personal lives of her employees. she comes of as antagonistic towards them more often than she is nurturing. i think the biggest example of this is her relationship with cameron in the first three seasons. where she is especially harsh to her when, i think, if the fandom's interpretation of cuddy was true, she would likely go the easiest on cameron, due to their similarities and cameron's position as the odd-woman-out in the team.

this is not to say that cuddy isn't a good mother. because she is! but she can be a good mother and also not have those qualities extend to the people she employs (whom she has very little personal relationship with lol.)

ALSO. since we're here. the idea that cuddy is weak-willed / lets house walk all over her, which even the show can lean into at times. and it's just. not correct. as per The Right Stuff, we know that the main reason cuddy lets house do the insane things he does is because his explanations make sense to her, in a way that they do not to a majority of people. which is what sets ppth/cuddy herself apart from the rest of the in-universe medical world. season 4 tackles this really well and i'm hoping to write more about it. but anyway. cuddy is not as easily manipulated / weak-willed as many think her to be, she just... understands house's brand of insanity.

#16 : you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ok. people are not going to like this one. but the trans/lesbian cuddy headcanons. i see both of these a lot and they lowkey get on my nerves but i get a little scared of critiquing them out of fear of being called -phobic (which is funny as i . am a lesbian and also trans . ) but i'm going to use this as an attempt to articulate it. (though, i'm going to focus mainly on the trans one here because the themes i refer to are much more prevalent where i am at currently in the show, whereas the sexuality stuff is explored more later on. though i can definitely make a different post discussing that if anyone's interested ^_^)

i think that these headcanons only really have merit if you've only watched the first season lol. because post-season 1, not only is cuddy being a cisgender woman incredibly crucial to her story, but so is her attraction to house (though, to a lesser extent at that point), who is a man. i've seen arguments against this, writing it off as unimportant, mostly with the belief that the argument is only rooted in 'she canonically has a uterus/persues ivf/etc' and that that alone isn't a good enough reason to keep people from headcanoning what they want.

and i see the appeal of that argument. if it were true! but... it isn't. cuddy's infertility (i'm really on this train recently, huh?) and what it means for her character is the real root here. making her transfem waters down all of the intricacies that come with that. because with that, instead of her infertility -- and how it deeply wounds her and affects her view of herself/her life -- being something that is important to her character, it is just a side effect of her being a trans woman. it's watered down completely. there is nothing to grapple with there, because trans women know they cannot get pregnant, but for a cis woman -- cuddy, specifically --, being infertile can feel like a personal failure. a betrayal of the body for the one thing it was built to do. there's a lot of neat character stuff there (which i alluded to a bit in my last post). and that headcanon completely writes it off.

add the fact that this storyline is basically the only main cuddy storyline that we get outside of her attraction to house, and... yeah, i don't like it being written off for the sake of a headcanon. sorry. this alone changes (erases) so much of her character on a fundamental level.

not to say that trans people cannot have complicated relationships to parenthood, and that there shouldn't be stories that reflect that (there absolutely should), but i am saying that cuddy's story isn't one of them! and i think it's disrespectful to the writing of the show/cuddy as a character, cis women whose stories cuddy reflects, and trans women who do struggle with their relationships to motherhood, to try to act like it is.

and then there's also the people who say shit like "it explains why she's an endocrinologist and infertile" and to those people i say: i don't respect you enough to write another argument.

thank you for the ask :))) i got very ramble-y here oops.

[desire-mona]

Opinions on jacksfilms v sssniperwolf?

Penny for ur thoughts plz 🪙 (<- pretend that is a penny shhhhh)

this ask is an equivalent to asking for my hand in marriage just btw.

so in case anyone doesnt know anything abt this old ass drama (i dont know as much as i could either, this is a retelling from the bits and pieces i remember):

so basically sssniperwolf used to be this gaming youtuber but she eventually turned into a half baked "reaction" channel where she just watches tiktoks, makes low effort surface level commentary, and then doesnt credit the creator of said tiktoks. jacksfilms is a comedy youtuber who does a bunch of stuff (sketches, streaming, something called YIAY where he gives ppl prompts / questions to answer n reads em out(with credit!(also hes been doing stuff with ai recently but mostly to show how mid it is which like. eh idk how i feel abt it but its not a dealbreaker))) and he at one point in 2023 called out sniper for her content stealking and lazy content.

he started doing this thing where he reacted to her videos the way she reacts to the videos she steals? i think? and then he gives credit to the creators that sniper reacts to i hope ur following. sniper eventually got mad and was like "uhhhmmm ur stealing from me....." which is rly funny considering she steals from SO many ppl. they had lowkey beef for a while (and obv jack was in the right the entire time) and on uhhhhhh lemme look this up hold on. october 13th of last year sniper posted an instagram story poll like "jacksfilms is close to this place im shooting at should i go see him" i guess to like? talk things out?

(src)

and then some amnt of time later while jack was playing jackbox on stream with his editors and stuff (dubbed the council) sniper showed up at his house, stood outside, and posted a video OF HIS HOME ON HER STORY. ON HER INSTAGRAM WITH OVER 5 MILLION FOLLOWERS. also to add even more context that i found out from youtube comments, sniper has been arrested for armed robbery before, so! some council member alerted jack and erin (jack's wife) was like "erm im gonna go outside" and everyone was like NO DONT OMG. eventually she deleted the story but by that point it was like wayyyy too late. and photos of his house were alr on twitter and stuff. the most ridiculous part is that when jack was rightfully like WHAG GHE HELL she was like this guy is creepy and hes been harassing me! i just wanna talk!!!

jacksfilms made a video being like heyyyyy youtube can u do smthn abt this???? youtube, of course, did nothing in response. i honestly dont know how it ended but snipers still doing her thing and so is jack so ultimately nothing substantial came of it, i guess. i wasnt on stream when it happened but i was GLUED to twitter as it was unfolding since ive been a big jacksfilms fan since i was 12ish. crazy times

WAIT EDIT I FORGOT TO ADD MY OPINION OOPS LOL: FUCK SNIPERWOLF

also fun fact! ive had a couple convos with a council member (marshaldoesstuff u will always be famous) and i was in his discord FOREVER ago. like 2018 forever ago. got groomed in that server it was kinda goofy (NOT marshal's fault - nor the mods of said server, im still friends with a few of those mods and they were always so protective of me and were there to put a stop to everything, i love them dearly.) so yeah im kinda etched into jacksfilms lore in a way that VERY few remember. which is the case for a few different fandoms tbh.

second fun fact: jack and erin r house md fans (erin has a crush on house and jack has a crush on cuddy which is sooo based of them)

thank u for asking and thank u for reading :3 i luv jacksfilms