#also fuck that hand perspective. idc

[cptdark]

plan and execution / paw

[demodraws0606]

My thoughts on the latest episode (aka HU IS THE CULPRIT I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL)

Warning : My sassy attitude is not directed towards anyone else, I'm simply amusing myself and also I've only gotten barely 5 hours of sleep god save me.

This is gonna be very long and messy so strap in folks

It's so obviously not Eden or Ace it's painful (idc 'i'll die for my hubris). Not even just because Eden lying and being the culprit after all of that would be both underwelming and just...miserable. But also because of how the way we're getting the reveal in advance that it could only be Ace and Eden. The fact the cast was already on Eden's throat as well just makes this point even more clear to me.

This isn't like fucking Korekiyo in chapter 3 of DRV3, this isn't how a culprit reveal happens. Especially not when there's so much we don't know yet.

So who is the culprit ?

...

It's Hu, it's literally Hu.... and like 1 pourcent chance it's Nico but I think both of them are accomplices here.

The thing is, I don't buy any of the shit Nico is saying, their admission of guilt is strangely quick and detached. They also seem to go along with anything people say about them (like them framing Hu) which makes it even more suspicious, they could've just said they used Hu's weapon out of conveniance ? The only thing this episode has proved me is that Nico is an Active accomplice rather than a Passive one like I thought. For what reason ? I honestly don't know fully yet but again we don't know a lot about Nico anyways.

Hu's behavior really makes me think she did it and is acting out, mostly out of guilt. She seems really stressed this trial which while makes sense for character reasons, it also makes sense if she's the culprit and feeling guilty. It would explain her defending Eden and Nico mainly I think despite her probably being the culprit she doesn't want the perception that Eden/Nico has to be broken (especially not bc of her). I've already explained how Hu being the culprit makes sense from a character perspective so I'm not gonna get more into it.

By the way any arguments in this post being like "it would be out of character for Nico or Hu to do that" should honestly review their own hypocrisy if they think Eden did it, or even Ace for that matter.

Another thing that makes me even more convinced that it can't be Ace or Eden is that...you can't fucking prove any of them did it with 100 pourcent certainty. David fucking threw the BDA rule out of the window, so we can't be sure Eden didn't do it but like what decisive evidence would make it clear between the two of them.

The only pieces of evidence we have left is :

-The sticky ball of clothes (most likely turpentine because the soil of the relexation room would cause the ball to have stains on it)

-The alibi for the relaxation room water

-The missing glove (which I think i've changed my opinion on what it could mean here)

Eden did know about the ball of clothes (but that piece of fucking evidence has strings attached so we'll get to that) and Ace doesn't have an alibi against taking the water like Eden does.

The missing glove is the only evidence left untouched here and honestly I actually don't think it had anything to do with the glove having someone's hair or anything, mainly because first of all the culprit could've technically just removed any hair on the glove even if it was sticky.

And also there's something else that makes more sense.

I think they probably had to use the glove to avoid rope burn while trying to set up the mechanism to kill Arei. Especially with how high the playground's ceilling is, it wouldn't be child's play. I'm not really good at deciphering what could've possibly happenened directly in the murder but I'd argue it's just more likely that the culprit would be put in a situation were rope burn could happen. This murder set up would require a lot of physical effort, and if the culprit even slipped for a second their hands would end up being damaged from rope burn making them obviously look guilty (also ouchie), which I think is what happened.

It would also explain the scuffs on the floor, maybe the culprit was struggling to hold onto the rope leading to them causing marks with their feet while trying to pull on the rope.

The reason why I think the glove is missing is probably because it's damaged and the culprit wanted to avoid the cast knowing they used Arei's glove during the murder. In fact it's the only piece of evidence that is completely missing

But why ?

Has anyone realised something about, I argue, the three other main suspects here ?

Nico, Eden, Ace ?

They all have gloves.

"But a huge portion of the cast has gloves this doesn't mean anything, it's just a stylistic choice !!" Yeah, the majority of the cast has gloves.

I think now you can understand why the culprit wouldn't want the cast to know that the glove was used. Because if the cast did see the glove that was probably damaged, they would assume the culprit wore it and it would narrow down the suspect list to an extremely narrow pool. This forces them to basically take the glove and hope to fucking god the cast doesn't catch on which they clearly haven't yet.

You know who doesn't fucking wear gloves.

HU JING

My girl got no gloves on !!!!

So yeah, with the glove being untouched evidence yet I think it will be the main decisive thing to point out who the culprit truly is, and I just don't think it's just gonna be like "oh let's just search everyone to see which one has the glove !". For all we know the culprit could've fucking eaten the glove, I don't think we're getting another Min in trying to search shit on people's person.

Anyways I'm gonna transition to other stuff to explain how the Nico and Hu theory makes sense from a logical standpoint here.

Let's get on to the sticky ball of clothes.

First I want to get it out there that I do not think the ball being sticky is due to the soil of the relaxation room. Mono-TV's talk about the "special formula" was mostly to foreshadow the floor of the playground's properties, also the fucking ball would have stains on it.

For me this means the ball of clothes has to have been covered in turpentine especially now that we have confirmation from Ace directly.

This is extremely huge and I'm flabbergasted has no one has mentioned this. Pray tell where the fuck did that piece of cloth go, did it get isekai'd into another world ?

This question actually has multiple meaning here because that fucking ball of clothing actually has massive implications. It confirms a lot of things and also puts a lot of doubt in things that seemed to be confirmed.

Before that I also want to say that Arei 100 pourcent got knocked out with turpentine. I don't want to argue over and over again that it was used because I've done this before but I have to since there are multiple reasons why she had to have been knocked out.

The floor is extremely prone to scuffs, if Arei was struggling then we definitely would've seen more than just a few marks in one area.

The method of murder would have been extremely difficult if she was struggling, like to a ridiculous point. Especially with someone like Arei who has been shown to have been sneaky and very prone to attacking people in their weak spots.

The tape binding Arei's hand in hindsight actually probably wasn't to avoid her struggling, it was most likely due to how the mechanism of the murder work. Keep in mind how the murder had to have worked and imagine if Arei's hands were just loose and flopping around. There could have been possible injuries with her arms that would ruin the culprit's obvious plan to make it look like a suicide. It also just makes sense for weight reasons, again Arei having her arms flopping around would make moving her body even more difficult.

And even if you want disagree with all of that, the culprit could've just binded her tape to avoid the same mistake that happened with Ace with him waking up from the turpentine.

Now that I've made my case about Arei being knocked out, let's get on the actual new arguments I want to make.

First, we know for a fact that a piece of cloth was used to knock out Ace meaning it has to have gone somewhere, if you say "well they could've just thrown it away" I will personally come into your home and shit in your shoes. And you're also wrong because I've already proven that Arei had to have been knocked out.

This means the only piece of cloth available to us would be the sticky ball of clothes.

But...like let me just explain everything that's mind boggling about all of this.

-This ball of clothes had to have been made for Ace's murder to knock him out

-The only people who knew about the old clothes were Hu, Teruko and Whit. Eden only knowing later on, way after Ace's murder was planned probably, because Hu told her about it.

-The culprit used this ball of clothing against both Arei and Ace

-The cloth is suspiciously absent from the murder scene, which makes no sense considering Nico's account rely on them not having left the gym while trying to murder Ace. Them leaving to chuck the cloth aside only to come back to the gym doesn't make sense with the timeline in how we discover things.

Yep, I'm making the claim that Nico didn't actually kill Ace here, I still think it's Hu. Again you can try and complain all you want about how it's out of character for Nico but the reality is...shit is not adding up.

It's really suspicious how silent Hu becomes when her weapon is brought up, immediatly clamming up and not defending Nico anymore. When Teruko makes assumption that Nico lied to Hu to get her weapon, she doesn't reply with a betrayed "Nico is that true ?" or even a sentence she responds with "That's...". The amout of ellpises both Nico and Hu give are extremely suspicious and just make me side eye both of them extremely hard.

I'm gonna go on another tangent here, on the subject of Hu being suspicious. Mainly because I do wanna point out a moment that both makes Eden seem a lot more innocent and makes Hu a lot more guilty.

The subject of Arei potentially committing suicide.

Now, it's very clear that the way Arei was hung was meant to make it look like Arei killed herself, this was very much meant to be the culprit's intention. Both to hide the true murder mechanism and probably to mislead the cast. The fact that it's only an incidental red mark of Arei's wrist that proves she didn't kill herself, proves that the culprit intended for it to look like a suicide.

However guess who argues against this...Eden, which, if she is the culprit I don't see why she would do something like that (and if you say "well why is Hu defending Nico and Eden" I already explained it). Clearly the Eden!Culprit theory relies on her being capable of manipulation so there's no reason why she would be so caught up in her own feelings to just ruin her own plan like that.

You know who seems to really be into the idea of Arei killing herself though, Hu.

That's all I have to say on that, now let's get onto how I think Nico actually helped Hu.

I do think there's still a 50/50 on them working directly together or just Nico catching onto Hu's plans and deciding on their own to help her.

I do think Nico directly helped her though in two major ways

First, the water, it's the obvious one. Nico probably ended up giving the water the Hu here weither they did so with/without knowing Hu's intention doesn't really matter since they're deciding to keep quiet about it now.

I also want to quickly mention how Hu getting water from the relaxation room makes a lot of sense. Hu was busy with Eden in the kitchen and Teruko had taken all the drinks from the gym, so it's likely Hu was forced to take the water from the relaxation room.

Second, the note

Oooo baby let's get into my favorite realisation in watching this episode.

One piece of dialogue has made me realize something

This made me puzzled too, because yeah, who would be listening in and how did Arei not notice when she went into the room ?

Let me take you all back to Chapter 2 Episode 5

Rose and Teruko have a conversation about Rose's secret and that conversation lasts a good while, until...

Nico was actually shown to have been there the entire time, Teruko and Rose were talking without noticing they were there.

Nico then explains themselves like this, pretty much proving this is something they just like doing casually sometimes.

This actually would explain everything on how the eavesdropping happened, Nico was on the literal fucking floor of the infirmary leading to them listening to everyone's conversation. Which tmeans they could have had the information to write the note.

This would explain the inconcistencies as to why would the culprit know to eavesdrop and how they didn't get caught by Arei when she was barging into the room (if they were outside by the door).

Now this leads to two possibilities with Nico and their relation to Hu.

Either they worked together with Hu and they both came up with the murder together. Which means either of them could've written the note.

Or Nico helped Hu without her knowledge, making the note to help her (edit : just realised this doesn't make a lot of sense ignore this).

I believe this is all I have so far and I'm very tired so you won't get a conclusion

Oh wait I hear something in the background...

"WHAT ABOUT THE TAAAAAAAAPE"

First of all, y'all gaslit me into thinking Ace couldn't have taken the tape so I'm already sick of this tape bullshit being used as decisive unshakeable evidence.

You know what I think probably happened ? Ace took the tape, after all it disappeared when he woke up and it's possible that he just then threw it away in the trash.

I mean Ace did say he was gonna "commit a murder of his own", it would be in line with him taking the tape.

Why isn't he talking about it then ? Because he'd be seen as the fucking culprit and also Ace is not really the most honest bitch out need i mention Ace witholding info about David and Arei's conversation.

[trans-androgyne]

I love men idc. The world built me not to; I’m not a man, I am a lesbian, I’ve been through hell at the hands of some of the worst men out there, and I am still put in a lot of scary situations around them. But men as a whole deserve to be loved and celebrated for who they are, and we need to recognize the kinds of pressures that are on men to constantly perform, to constantly do, to constantly prove themselves, and the kind of fucked up shit that can do to a person. I feel like trans people in general have a special perspective on this matter and I hope we can use it to extend our love to all kinds of men, cis, trans, and anything else.

It doesn’t help that when people hear “man,” too many instantly think “cishet, white, abled man,” which is exactly what the patriarchy & white supremacy want you to think (though these men also deserve love and compassion and care). Don’t put your suffering under systems of power on individual men. And remember, you never have to prove yourself as a man to be one.

[st4rr-girrl]

Was wondering if you could write about y/n and dally being in a toxic relationship mostly stemming from his part idc how dark it gets tbh and soda has feelings for y/n and y/n comes venting to him about it and it's in his perspective idk if this makes any sense but it does in my brain

Lmao yes honey, I got u. <3

Warnings: Toxic relationship, domestic violence, angst, hurt & comfort.

Summary; When Dallas broke the camels back during your relationship, you found yourself running into Soda’s arms.

(Kinda short? Idk how I feel abt this one, but I hope u enjoy.)

I will never truly understand what she sees in him.

The way she smiles, the way she blushes around him.

It should be me, making her smile and blush.

Not him. Never him.

They looked so happy together, so imagine my surprise when (Y/N) had show up on my doorstep, a bright red slap mark across her left cheek, mascara and tears running down her face as she pleaded for me to let her inside.

My heart broke at the sight of her, my eyes wide and my brows raised. I quickly ushered her inside my home, shutting and locking the door behind her.

“What happened, sweetness?” I asked softly, watching as she sat down on the couch.

“D-Dallas.” She stuttered through her tears, choking on her sobs.

I immediately knew what she meant. My blood ran cold, and my jaw clenched tightly. So tightly I thought my teeth might break.

I crossed my arms, a vicious glint swirling behind my eyes. “I’m gonna go talk to him.” I spoke, my tone cold and signaling nothing good. My tone showing that I would have more than just a friendly conversation with Dallas. I turned to walk away, but she quickly got up and grabbed my forearm.

“Wait!” She squeaked, her beautiful eyes wide and her lower lip trembling. “Please.. stay with me.” She whispered, her eyes scanning my face.

I nodded slowly, heaving a sigh as I turned around. I knew I couldn’t let Dally get away with this. He had hurt, (Y/N). He hurt my sweet girl, and I wanted to break his jaw for it. But for now, she needs me.

She wrapped her arms around my torso, and rested her cheek on my chest. With a slight frown, I wrapped my arms around her neck, pulling her closer to me. We stood in a comforting silence for a moment, before her raspy voice spoke up.

“It was always you, Soda.” She whispered.

Puzzled, and my facial expression showing it, I slowly pulled away from her to look at her face. “What?” I asked slowly, confused as to what she had meant.

“It’s always been you.” She confessed, her brows furrowing as she pulled away from the hug to stare at me. “Not Dallas.” She shook her head. “Never Dallas.”

“What do you mean, (Y/N)?” I replied, trying to confirm what I was hearing.

“I love you, Soda. I always have.” She confessed, a soft blush spreading across her nose.

My heart beat against my ribcage at an ungodly speed, and I couldn’t help the wide grin tugging at the corners of my lips. “You do?”

“Yes, Soda.” She laughed softly, reaching down and interlocking our hands together.

That damn laugh.

The one I once prayed I was the cause for.

I mentally thanked a higher power, for answering my prayers.

In some sick, and twisted way; I also thanked Dallas. His inability to treat her with common decency had caused me to receive my dream girl. I was still angry at Dally, however. No, not angry. Livid.

I would pay him a private visit some other time, though. I had a beautiful girl to comfort.

“I love you too.” I said, leaning down and locking our lips together. Passionately, but softly.

Treat your lady right, otherwise it may just be the last thing you ever have the chance to fuck up. 💕

[onlyyours2love]

How “A Tale of Two Sisters” (Tangled the Series) and “Promise” (She-Ra) are literally the same episode

¡¡¡SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I literally made this post on Twitter but it got no traction and I was looking to get a discussion going but I will just repeat what I said there and paste it here because I can’t get over this

Angry Lesbians = Cassandra & Catra

Team Blondie = Adora & Rapunzel

Parallel #1: Close Proximity

It’s funny how the premise of both episodes is that the sworn rivals (lovers) are put in a position in which they are stuck and cannot find an exit. In TTS, Cassunzel is stuck in a cave with poisonous gas and Catradora is trapped in that weird chamber thingy with the First Ones tech.

Parallel #2: Dangerous Setting

Additionally not only are they trapped together, but they are trapped specifically in a dangerous environment that is hostile impartially to both parties which leads onto my next point...

Parallel #3: Enemy x Enemy Teamwork

Literally the designated Angry Lesbians (Catra & Cass) hate their counterparts' guts. They literally wanna kill them,

In fact, the reason why in both of these cases they ended up in that very same dangerous setting was because the designated angry lesbians decided to attack Team Blondie (Adora & Rapunzel) and got them stuck there IN THE FIRST PLACE !!!! ARGGHH !!

And now since they're stuck in a hostile environment that is way too distracting to kill Team Blondie -& that also threatens their lives as well- they're forced to put a pin on that whole "i need to kill my wife" plan so that they themselves don't die, which forces them to ✨work together✨

Parallel #4: Facing the Past Pt. 1

This teamwork leads both parties to reminisce about their ex friendship. It’s actually funny to notice that these two share the same trope (aka friends to enemies to lovers [ok I know Cassunzel isn’t canon but the lesbians ship them idc]) AND since these two both have a past of being friends earlier in life they both get back into that groove that they easily slip back into while they’re trying to survive.

ie. Rapunzel and Cass reminiscing the memories they made during the trip to the dark kingdom & Catra and Adora just goofing around during that chamber after a while

Parallel #5 villain/hero enemies to lovers dynamic

This kinda goes hand in hand with Parallel #4

The designated Angry Lesbians (who are also the show’s labeled villains) are in constant turmoil about the way they feel about Team Blondie and its fucking hilarious because they’re so down bad for Team Blondie & you get these moments where they’re softening slowly throughout the episode // meanwhile Team Blondie (the show’s designated heroes) are just trying the whole time to get through their girlfriends and realize that they’re on the wrong side

AND THIS RESULTS IN A LOT OF GAY RIVAL TENSION MOMENTS !!!!

Parallel #6: Facing the past Pt. 2 + Resentment

This one is super important because it really brings perspective to the rivalry and the motives behind why Cassandra and Catra are doing what they are doing and brings a depth and complexity to both Cassunzel and Catradora.

Facing the past also includes looking back into childhood memories and learning about a specific mother figure and the way this mother figure shaped the entire view in which they see themselves- whether it’s conscious or unconscious.

For Catra and Adora, it meant exploring Catra’s relationship with Shadow Weaver and how that influenced her own self worth during childhood and how she was always outshined by Adora, who was able to gain Shadow Weaver’s affections with ease thanks to her specialness as she’s a First One’s decendant.

For Cassandra and Rapunzel, it meant realizing that Gothel was a selfish person who never really loved either of them, and that Gothel only chose Rapunzel (and consequently, abandon Cassandra) for her magic hair. That is until Cassandra finds the broken mirror that shows Gothels apparent “love” for Cass.

Parallel #7: the mother figures that traumatized our angry lesbians

This also kinda goes hand in hand with parallel #5 because these two women are the very root of why our angry lesbians are traumatized and on the ‘evil side’ of the story.

These women created all the insecurities that our angry lesbians cling onto & project onto Team Blondie by making them feel as if they were not enough or loved & made them feel inferior to their counterparts

In Catra’s case, it was shadow weaver

For Cassandra, it was Gothel

It was both of these women who actively made the decision to choose Adora/Rapunzel due to being “special” & treated Cass/Catra like shit

Parallel #8: The end + presumed death

this one makes me SCREAM

At the end of both episodes SOMETHING -and by something I mean a childhood memory is triggered- that makes the angry lesbians lash out and any hope that they return to the good side just vanishes.

Also they both leave Team Blondie out to die and walk away thinking they killed them.

But ofc team blondie never dies.

I kept obsessing over this and thank god for tumblr for having unlimited character count because I could’ve not made my point thoroughly on twitter

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

[withlove-xixi]

rank hottness levels of majima in each game/phase Now!! (pls....)

/ suggestive (its nothing bad)

ok im ngl im not entirely familiar w all the games but im ranking the ones i have seen but they're basically more or less only my favorites

anyway i'm starting w one of my all-time favorites ... my beloved goromi!!

seeing him like this makes me feel things i didnt know i can feel. is it the lesbianism in my brain is making some sort of connection? is it because his little date w kiryu was silly a hell? is it a secret third thing? i will never know. but i suspect it's because i see him like this and my brain tells me that is a woman and my lesbian instincts kick in because what purpose was i put on this earth for if not to share my unconditional and infinite love to every woman that has ever existed

anyway all i know is goromi is my darling girlfriend .. she reminds me of candy-chan (and in turn, ive found similarities between sanji and majima im certain are mostly delusions) and i want to go shopping with her and spoil her with sweets, as i want to do with every woman ever

next is 24-hour prince majima .. but specifically from like a pirate (or whatever its called)

something about him tickles me in the head (it's the hair) like hey boy, hey guy ... do you need a housewife ... ? LIKE THE JUXTAPOSITION OF HOW HE LOOKS NOW IN THE MV (?) COMPARED TO IN Y0 IS SO FUCKING INSANE TO ME. DEAR GOD.

the distant sadness in his eyes and general melancholic maturity about him makes him hot tbh. like wow i want to kiss you on every inch of your skin, i want to soothe your worries with homemade meals and warm baths and kisses between stolen cracks of moonlight, i want to greet you good morning and good night and shower you with spontaneous grand gestures on a random tuesday, i want show you everything that is good in this world and help you understand that it exists within you too.

i like this majima a lot.

h- ... hannya man ... good god ok ... i ... i need time to breathe

i know exactly what appeals to me; it's the fancy tux/suit and the mysterious aura from the mask. wow ... idk its such a drastic shift from his usual silliness ... like wow ... hey. hi. hey. are you free this weekend? do you need anything from me?

idk im just saying, he looks like he'd tell you when to cum then make you clean up the mess or like he'd tie you up and play with you for a bit. and rlly idc, whatever you say handsome~ hehehehehehe~

putting him in because i see him often (because im playing y0) but lord of the night majima and i . hes okay ..

i mean that genuinely too like. he's fine. i get the appeal. i think its the slicked back hair into a tight ponytail that throws me off a bit orz but i .. i like his vibe, or aura as the kids say .. he feels like such a loverboy, like he'd surprise me with random visits and bouquets of flowers, or he'd kiss you very tenderly and slowly, almost gently.

in terms of "i want him." he gets a pass only because he is majima and im in love with him unfortunately (tho i shall see if my thoughts on him change because im on chapter two of y0 and he hasnt even shown up yet)

then of course we have this iconic fit (i picked this photo because he looks so puppy dog here .. wow)

giggling, twirling my hair. hi. hey <3 from an objective perspective, this outfit is kind of ass like ? snake-skin jacket, leather pants and ??? no shirt?? but GOD. unfortunately, its a terrible outfit on an insanely hot forty something year old. i want you. i want you so bad.

and i dont actually know if his hair changes w this outfit, like if its short + undercut then grows a bit longer or not but ive seen pics of him in this fit w longer hair and he looks better like that tbh. also i cant shake off how uncomfortable this outfit looks like that must be so hot to wear .. but again idc im kissing you in the mouth. let's go play at the claw machines in the sega arcades and sing karaoke together and hold hands and kiss and fall asleep next to each other and kiss and get dinner together and take walks in parks and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and—

and finally my number majima one is .. !

this specific scene of majima from like a pirate where he does the thing with his finger like AUGHSDGHADNNN!!

the disheveled hair, the smirk, THE WAY HE BECKONS YOU WITH HIS FINGER. good god!! majima was alr my favorite by default because he was a weird ass freak i found funny but THIS? hello sir, daddy even, where is your shirt and do you mind taking off your pants too? qw?e@?w$e?asf?a?!!!@?e!#?!@ HEAHEHHDSHFAEr!~@?#!@!!@!mDFNDFSMA,,,,SDFM

I Need You.

(thank you anon for listening to my tedtalk and for telling me go a bit insane about my silly old man that i want so badly)

[declanisms]

no bc like why r there no good alive parents in detco. the kurobas as established r dogshit parents but so are the kudos and the mouris. the suzukis r also kind of weird and I am also not a fan of mary. like the kudos r freak ass parents who abandon their teenage son to go gallivanting around america and then continue to abandon him when he’s literally in a terrible accident. the mouris parentify ran so badly and keep involving her in their relationship when they should just have a clean cut divorce already. the suzukis do some weird test on their daughters boyfriend to see if he’s worthy for her hand when they’re literally 17/18. mary imposes herself on her teenage daughter and forces her to care for her when she literally has a full grown adult son in the FBI. also all the detective boys parents r weird bc why tf r u letting a single old man take ur kids on camping trips that is a sure fire way to getting kidnapped and groomed. idc if agasa is nice from the perspective of the parents that’s crazy to permit. and ik they’re dead but the miyanos r also fucking crazy bro like why r u involving ur children in a literal cult. gosho hates good parenting

[atla-yun]

quiet evening in yokoya 🫶

HAPPY WORLD PRIDE!! idek what this one was i was just fucking around with lighting and perspective and it’s kinda off but idc it’s Rangshi and it’s Gay 💃💃

oh also they’re holding hands 🥲

[paranormeow7]

Idc if you answer this privately or publicly but Jesus fucking Christ this is getting out of hand. I didn't write up a doc about oh it's not my fault oh I didn't do it it was someone else. I think you know who I am, being we used to be friends. And I am sincerely here to say I am so, deeply sorry for what I did and what I have therefore caused. I tried to ignore it because I didn't want to face it. But it happened and I don't want any trolls or whatever making it worse.

Gavin, I'm pretty sure that's what you're going by now I apologize if that's wrong, I can't take back what I did. Any of it. I knew I should have gotten help and shouldn't have put it onto you by becoming closer. It never should have got to the point past being friends but I was selfish and I wasn't actually thinking about anyone else. I just wanted somewhere to offload my problems, and I knew it was wrong. It was never supposed to go farther than just being friends, but then it was best friends, and I didn't want to lose the "only person" I felt understood. And I mean you didn't understand, you were a kid. I didn't plan to groom anyone, that should be obvious, but it happened. It wasn't the "regular" kind of grooming, but it was still grooming. I just didn't want to realize it or see it for what it was.

I wasn't in a good state before meeting you, and I let it get worse, I let it influence you as time went on and it's no one's fault but mine. You didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve any of what I put you through, the lasting effects none of it. It's not your fault I couldn't take accountability. It's not your fault I denied not being alright and deluded myself into thinking things were okay.

This is not to get anyone to forgive me. That's stupid. But as an adult I want to, me, not someone trying to make a bigger mess, not hiding behind a new account in a different place, as in me who has been trying to find a college and move away from the internet entirely, apologize. And make it known that I have now accepted help to make sure none of this happens again. I say I'm taking accountability and I'll admit to the tumblr/reddit thing because I panicked and didn't want to dig a deeper hole than I already did. But that quite obviously backfired, I just thought an art and collection blog would be okay enough but it broke the promise set in place. I interpreted the post as I did something like. s*xual grooming and I panicked because I didn't do that but misinterpreting it upset me and I, again, panicked.

I don't have access to an address or anything btw, I know my words don't hold much water to both of you, but I would not lie about that. Please do not go after any family members you might know of mine, they are not involved in my mistakes.

And ps: I wouldn't use my like. actual name in a random ask if it was there. That's also stupid. I just want this to verifiably be completely over for you- and everyone I affected. It's been a long time since and it shouldn't still be drug out because I've been scared to admit things. If you believe me or not is obviously up to you, and I don't want to make you more upset. I just want to formally, and with a clearer perspective since talking to a professional, apologize.

And I don't want some random person with facts they could get from my dad saying any crap about there being another person. There isn't. There's just me. And I don't have proof, especially with the one account being gone, but I'm keeping to my word of being offline. If anything else pops up, I will personally message them and tell them to take it down, for you and your boyfriend's sake, not for me. This is the only thing I'm actually sending. Hopefully this message actually holds merit because of the way I type, it's probably recognizable to you. I hope this finally puts an end to everything, and I cross my heart everything will not make another account. I just thought a art thing or collection thing would be contained enough but, yeah.

Again I do not want this out there for forgiveness. I want it out there because I'm sock of misinformation from random people and the fact my continued selfishness continues to hurt you. With all the sincerity I can put across words, I hope this is it. 🐇

I’ll delete the posts about the doc, I’m genuinely sorry I put your name out there, and I cannot believe someone would just write a doc like that out of boredom if it really wasn’t you. That’s absolutely batshit and not fair. As for the rest of it, it’s not my place to accept any of this, it’s Gavin’s. I hope this is it as well.

[kamiversee]

Kami, to say that you left me in ruins with this chapter is an understatement 🥹

i hate and love how Choso is so patient and willing to hear the reader out despite everything. i know we have reader-bias because we can see the grand scheme of it all but Choso’s just getting handed misfortune after misfortune and he doesn’t know why (yet?) UGH. CHOSO YOU ARE TOO GOOD FOR US. IDC IF YOU GET JEALOUS EVEN THOUGH I HATE PDA, YOU’RE TOO SWEET.

poor Choso, poor Yuji, what that whole family went through is fucking horrible. i can’t imagine a way Sukuna could possibly redeem himself from that, regardless of how he acted with us in previous chapters 😭😭

my brain is really small, would you mind just clarifying the current ages of all the characters? i just wanna get a perspective on the time frame of everything ^^ not that it really changes anything, but i wanted to see how long ago Choso saw Sukuna hit his own ex.

also, the fact that he came home all bruised and cut up? should we expect to get clarification on that in a later chapter or is that just to back up the fact that he’s a generally violent person and gets into problems often?

what is Sukuna’s motivation to keep Yuji in his custody? is it because of the previous notion that Sukuna likes to treat his brothers like servants and punching bags?

that brief moment where they reflected on the moment they first met hurt 🥲 the list was just getting started atp and i remember how the reader was like “let’s just hope he doesn’t catch feelings” UGHHHHH MY HEARTTTTT

when the reader was like “i’m no better than-“ i was like ???? NO BETTER THAN WHO???? WHOOOOOOO????? seriously though, who would the reader compare herself to in that situation? the only person i could see comparable in this situation would be Gojo, but maybe i’m seriously overthinking it 😭

Choso being so adamant that his feelings won’t change no matter what the reader says makes me so sad. that first question got me for a second bc i was like “oh that’s only Naoya, Sukuna, and Nanami” but then i remembered “oh fuck she was still hooking up with Geto before they got serious… and that night with Gojo after her and Choso took their first break…” FUCK. GIRL, YOU MIGHT AS WELL AND TELL HIM THE WHOLE TRUTH!!!!

i think he’d be pretty okay knowing the number so long as the reader clarifies that during their time together, the reader was solely hooking up with him. plus it’s a good setup to explain the blackmailing 😭😭 WHY IS SHE SO AFRAID TO ADMIT SHE WAS BLACKMAILED?? i understand that she does have a lot of sympathy for Gojo and her feelings are still confused after all their time spent together and the trauma that Gojo supported her through (even though he’s the cause of it all anyways 😒) but this is seriously a free pass for her to come clean. i stg if Choso asks some sort of question asking her why she hooked up with all these guys and the reader completely avoids mentioning that she was blackmailed then i’m going to smash my head through some drywall.

Kami. i know you can’t give us full details, but should we expect things to get way worse after this? as in should i buy tissue’s preemptively?

-☃️

Okay I tried to get all the non yap sessions answered first, I have like 7 yappers to go through so LETS BEGIN !!

1. It seems I always leave you in ruins my love😹 I’ll make it up in the end, trust me

2. Choso is so previous and he truly deserves the world but, in his eyes, the reader is his world and he won’t see it any different :)

3. The whole family story is sad and I’m waiting for someone to spot my foreshadowing in that chapter😹 Especially since you mentioned Sukuna redeeming himself

4. I really need to put all the ages out there but here;

The reader is 22.

Gojo is 22.

Sukuna is 23.

Suguru is 21.

Nanami is 22.

Choso is 21.

Naoya is 22.

Toji is 30.

—

These are slightly based on the age differences in the anime but then again, it’s just a ff and uh yeah!😸

5. 🌚 No idea what those bruises symbolize tbh! ^.^

6. I think another anon asked about Yuji & Sukuna & they made a very good assumption on it (unless tht was ur other yap sesh, idk I’ll figure it out) so I’ll answer this more there :)

7. Funny how she hoped Choso wouldn’t catch feelings but she did just the same ;)

8. The reader was a bit emotional so she could’ve said Gojo or maybe even Sukuna because she feels that her worth has depreciated a lot due to what she’s been through.

Of course, she’s not abusive but she simply thought of how Sukuna lied to Choso after a promise and deep down, she knows she lied to Choso not that long ago when she implies she didn’t know he and Sukuna were brothers 🕺

9. Few things, so I’m excited to write Choso’s reactions, if she tells him🙏

And uh, I think she’s afraid to talk about Gojo because there’s sm she has to explain. From how after Choso left, she slept with some random (Naoya) as if to be an attempt to get over him & then slept with Gojo the following morning. Not to mention, she’s been pretty intimate with Gojo since then and overall, everything surrounding the blackmail she’s always hated the idea of telling anyone, even Shoko.

10. Better or worse? 🌚

Idk, you might want tissues & u might not!!

[white-weasel]

Saw Saturday has come yet again, this time we watched Saw VI:

First off, this movie was so aggressively 2008-2009 in its theme I was FLOORED. Of course there were the predatory lenders, loaning out money to those they knew couldn’t pay it back (direct reference to the housing crash in 2007/2008) and then I got hit with the words “preexisting condition” and literally went “oh fuck the affordable care act doesn’t exist yet.” So definitely was interesting to get a blast from the past with social commentary that was very much based on popular public discourse at the time (not saying predatory lending and American health insurance aren’t also issues now just… a different kind of issue/focus)

I cannot believe that Strahm’s hand survived that entire crushing room so in tact. Then again I did not watch Strahm’s actual death at all because I’m too much of a baby about broken bones, but just seeing the rest of the corpse… man Hoffman got pretty lucky with that one

Perez didn’t die in 4/5 I fucking called it!!! Like I said, if I don’t see your body idc, you’re alive in my book

Still, I’m surprised that they revealed that bit of information to Hoffman. I guess at that point they were running off the assumption Strahm was Jigsaw’s accomplice and thus Hoffman would be a trusted ally in the investigation but man

Speaking of, Hoffman was sooooo sus this entire movie it was almost comical. I mean, it’s probably just because you as an audience member know Hoffman’s whole deal but still

Another Saw trap gauntlet! I think it’s interesting that as the movies moved more towards focusing on John Kramer and his crew as the main characters, rather than those in the trap, the traps have turned into multiple tests rather than just one. It makes sense from a story telling perspective though because that way they don’t have to explain multiple people’s deals why they’re in these traps and can instead just focus on one

With that, I think this was my favorite of the trap gauntlets yet! Actual tough decisions for William and I feel like it mixed the moral choices being put forward by 3 about saving people, while also making the decisions tougher/have more consequences like 5. I really liked the maze where in order to let her pass through he had to redirect the steam and burn himself and the shotgun carousel trap where he had to impale his hands in order to save just a fraction of those on it.

I was staring at the teen boy with his mom who have been put in that cage room with the acid and was like “He looks familiar but idk where I’ve seen him before” a few scenes later my friend just blurts out “oh my god that’s Rodrick from Diary of a Wimpy Kid” and we literally had to pause to take in that information

Once again though, not sure how I feel about more John Kramer lore being added, but this at least didn’t stand out to me as being Too Much yknow. It makes sense that there was a slimy insurance guy who screwed over thousands of sick people and also did it to John, who was a close friend. Didn’t break anything pre established too much

Idk if this was intentional but the whole thing about the knives used to cut the jigsaw pieces out being different for Hoffman vs John felt like it was kinda a reference back to John telling Hoffman that the blade on his pendulum was inferior. If Hoffman had just followed John’s lead and used a surgical precision knife, the right tool for the job, to cut up that latest victim, the discrepancy wouldn’t have been raised and they probably wouldn’t have even thought about re-examining the Seth Baxter tape

The scene in the audio technician lab? So good. Once again Hoffman is being so so sus but also he’s cornered. I do have to question the logic of letting Hoffman hear the actual incriminating evidence when it’s pretty obvious they suspected him at this point, but it led to an iconic moment so I will take it

Rip Perez for real this time :( genuinely did like her from what we saw from her and I desperately wanted her to own Hoffman’s ass

Did NOT expect Hoffman to have basically blackmailed Amanda into killing Lynn (and thereby killing herself) back in 3, but now that I think about it it makes sooo much sense. It never 100% clicked with me why Amanda did that with how I read her character, but knowing that she was making the choice between her father figure/mentor/person who’s approval she wanted most in the world hating her or killing Lynn, things have fallen into place better

Jill was MUCH more involved with the Jigsaw operation than I had previously thought. It was basically like a fucking murder family up in there lmaoooo

Hoffman in the reverse bear trap was unexpected!! And the fact he beat what was supposed to be an unbeatable trap for him??? Actually a little bit insane. (He and Strahm both surviving “unwinnable” traps? They’re perfect for each other) I cannot wait to see what Jill’s reaction is gonna be when he eventually shows up and is like “I lived, bitch”

We’re reaching the point where my friend doesn’t remember what happens in the series (she watched some of the movies year ago) She said she very clearly remembered 1-3, would remember things as they came up in 4, and now only remembers stuff from Jigsaw since she saw that one in theaters. However, she loves hearing me ramble about my theories and then likes to look things up about the movies so she can know ahead of time if I’m right or not lmao

In her words “See, I knew you would like these movies, not because of like the traps or the gore or anything, but because of the crazy shit that happens in the plot. It’s fun seeing you go crazy about the twists and then spiral until we watch the next one.” And she’s absolutely 100% right

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Weekly Roundup: prompt reminders

It turns out Gray’s dislike being seen as a pretty girl and constant dysphoria ends up being a mundane gender thing just as much as a ‘my physical appearance and identity have been slowly and painfully overwritten by a long-dead woman’s by the hands of fundamentalists’ thing. Ideally, additionally include Waver and Reines being supportive and going out of their way to help find means to present more masculine even with the unique issues of a magically 'frozen’ body.

gudako becoming a ceo and joining the kengan association after retiring as master, not because they need money or have any interest in running a business/fight ring but because the kengan tournaments are the only place they can find dick from insane men who love to beat the shit out of each other close the level of what they had at chaldea

age gap, I come humbly asking for mash/morgan. specifically i want mashmorgan with an emphasize on the age gap. Mash is SO young and inexperienced compared to Morgan, barely even just reached adulthood by human standards. You get an extra kiss on the forehead if you play it as corruption, specifically as MASH corrupting Morgan, trying to get Morgan to fuck her good even if it can't be a good idea.

Guenivere falls for Lancelot because he's horribly vanilla and she just couldn't get into Artoria's huge raging knotted dragon dick no matter how much she tried.

smut, bestiality, Lobo and Hessian double-team Guda with lots of primal feral sex. Lobo keeps knotting Guda so they can't get away even if they want to. They don't want to.

smut, jing ke (accomplished hedonist who is "very popular with female servants for some reason") convinces qin shi huang (fundamentally cautious but also too curious for their own good and always gets complacent about their perceived superiority at the crucial moment) to allow her to "explore their body" and "show them some human experiences" which they believe is fine because its not like she can put the fear of death in them a THIRD time (incorrigible hubris) this obviously immediately turns into jing ke blowing their back out with a massive strapon and with qin shi huang's mind equally blown by the vast possibilities of human pleasure and ingenuity behind sex toy development that didn't exist in their lostbelt they're immediately absorbed into developing increasingly outlandish toys for jing ke to use on them and test the limits of pleasure this body can feel until they've looped right back around to a "human experience" that applies to zero normal mortal humans who would absolutely die from the violent fucknasty pervert sex they're having and/or don't even have the holes they're having things stuck into but jing ke's fine with it this time because they're not trying to govern other people about it this time and also she gets to fuck an extremely attractive person like she's trying to kill them on a daily basis. also you can do whatever you want for qin shi huang's genitals or swap equipment midway idc about that i care about shi huang di in their hubris willingly turning themselves into an incorrigible masochist with a crippling addiction to jing ke strap

smut, Caster Artoria is "forced" to go around town stark naked. It's definitely her decision and she totally isn't doing this because she wants to guys.

Gudao gets the most unique dysphoria moment of his life when he summons Jack on one of his ‘feeling like presenting as male’ days and is immediately greeted with ‘mom’ first thing in the morning. 

age gap, Future fic where Rin & Shirou keep getting weird looks from their neighbours because from a normie perspective they're a couple of 40yo fucking Saber, a teenage girl.

smut, castoria should fuck cu alter. it wouldn't fix either of them but I think Castoria can take him + she could use a man who doesn't care if she scratches back.

Xu Fu is forced to work alone with Xiang Yu, and accidentally ends up falling in love with him too

smut, Bedivere being really fucking awkward around Castoria, because she's an incarnation of Excalibur and he sure jerked off with his Excalibur arm back in the days.

AU where Akiha fully becomes Roa's latest reincarnation after killing SHIKI

smut, Guda free use anyone? There are so many servants with carnal desires going around, I think it'd be most efficient if Chaldea had a "anyone can fuck the master anywhere and we'll all turn a blind eye to it" system.

[caelumsnuff]

This fandom is so annoying about people liking villains. Like what does it matter?? People can like characters you don't or who did awful things without assigning morality to that. You can just like or dislike or not mind a character 'cause that's how consuming fiction works. Screaming about people liking Alexis and how they shouldn't because consent, but then turn around and like Cutie (which idc if they like either, but be consistent at least lol). Not only did I see people saying people only like Alexis cause she's a woman, I saw someone compare not minding Alexis to being the kind of "weirdo that goes 'nice!' when a female teacher sleeps with a student'.' That is a direct quote. Like what in the two plus two equals apple hell?? I'm screamingggg what is wrong with these people??

It is literally like..... please god we know like a handful of vague things about her exclusively told from others' perspectives and have never even heard from her in the prime universe like besties. I think it's absurd to try to attribute someone's like or dislike for her to misogyny or something. She's a one dimensional character, and all we know about her is heavily negative. If you wanna love her, love her then. If you wanna hate her, then hate her. If you feel apathetic towards her, you can do that too, just leave other people alone and let them feel the way they want to in peace.

This fandom is so goddamn weird about like villians, like guys...... they're not fucking real please calm down. Also literally just. Sometimes people are not going to like a character, and sometimes that character happens to be a woman (or whatever other minority), automatically attributing disliking a character to bigotry is just stupid. I'm starting to think nobody in this fandom even knows what misogyny is. Misogyny is not just when you don't like a woman character 😭 This whole argument drives me insane.

Also that analogy is.... so bad????? We are talking about a character, not a fucking real person who sexually assaulted a real child. Seriously, these people need to learn how to discern fiction from reality, because comparing those two is just disgusting and dangerous.

[keeponquinning]

This has been in a tab on my browser for DAYS, not anymore, and I'm so glad I sat down and read because GODDDDD.

As usual, your writing? I love your writing, I fall more in love with it with every chapter I read. It's honestly so beautiful and poetic, you can't help but get sucked in by the imagery. And I love, LOVE, the difference in the narration from Eddie POV vs reader's POV. It just reads as so THEIR perspective, where reader's is poetic, Eddie's descriptive but not at the same level, it's very HIM and reader's is very HER and I just love the FUCK out of it!

Okay, read more time.

-slams fist on table- THEY ARE SO FUCKING CUTE.

UGH.

Like her dressing up, I feel rediscovering herself, to getting that smile out of Eddie in the hallway?? LORD TAKE ME. And their sessions reading more like sneaky DATES with the TOUCHING?? THE TOUCHING IS GONNA KILL ME. AM I TOUCH STARVED?? IDK BUT I'M FEELING MAYBE!!

Them talking D&D and like, high key flirting, it's flirting, IT'S SO FLIRTING.

"Where do you think I'd get my power from?" "Within."

PFFFFTTTTTT. I love it. Just make out. ( i know, I know, slow burn, I get it, but I am YEARNING as much as the animal in reader 😭 )

Once again, my heart goes a flutter at reading the word "tendon" idk how you do it, but GOD. TENDON. I. YES. The touching between them is sooooo. And Eddie like seeming annoyed their touching has to end when there seems to be someone walking by and being like fuck it, and HELD HER HAND UNDERNEATH THE TABLE???

One part that is sticking with me and made me kick my feet was Reader describing that she didn't feel like she was at a big desk, but in a smaller desk and i was like sdkfjsdkfjsdfksdfj BABY. i love her.

And then the dealllllll with reading her story if he got a B, and I just. I'm so excited about that? I can't wait for his reaction when he reads, and also what its about, I'M JUST AS CURIOUS AS EDDIE. That tying in with Reader digging through the box™ of old stuff from her "past self" and reading her old work like..... I feel we're all writers here right? And we connect with that aspect so much. I think we all, if we can, had read back old stuff and were like, oh man this was how i used to be, I've changed now, amazing. And I know I do the daydreaming thing too when it comes to writing so that bit was super special to me. I like that reader seems to be rediscovering herself, before the heartbreak.....of DAN.

DAMN THE MAN, DAN.

But I love that she's healing and with our favorite metalhead.

speaking of, this is going all over the place, I remember saying i love the dynamic of the corroded coffin / hellfire boys, and that went tenfold with the scene you wrote! I love them. You captured high school boys so well lmaoo and you got me shipping Gareth and Cindy! I'm hoping for the best for them, AND THE BACK TO THE FUTURE REFERENCE!!! I love how CONNECTED this story is?? While also being an AU, I should hope, no demobats / vecna pls.

But the band's BANTER?? I wish we had more of it in the show, but i'll take this.

and also the collective turning to Eddie when it comes to EXPERIENCE.

"You've been with girls, right? You've DONE it?" AND DAVE WITH THE HAND GESTURES SDKFJSDF

I was dying. Oh, to have been one of those girls.... I would have let him on a first date, idc, we all FERAL FOR THIS MAN ALRIGHT.

but i was also swooning when his thoughts went to reader, and like, wanting to take her on a date, candlelight, like, ugh, our boy is soft and i love him.

i love THEM.

Thank you again for this chapter, making my heart FULL.

Don't Stand So Close To Me — Chapter 10

Eddie x Teacher!Reader

Chapter 10/? 4.6k. Series Masterlist

✏︎ Progress report — subtle strides in secret and deals not forgotten.

✏︎ Series Summary: Forced to move back home to Hawkins after your fiancé cheats on you, you begin to fall in love again with an audacious 20 year old metalhead, only there’s one problem — he’s still in high school and you’re his English teacher.

While you struggle starting over in a place you never thought you would return, Eddie struggles feeling stuck in a place he can’t manage to leave — until you offer to help him. Of all the lessons learned, the most important are the ones you teach each other.

✏︎ Series CW: forbidden romance, slow burn, true love, smut (18+ mdni), internal conflict, student-teacher relationship, 10 year age gap, mutual pining, sexual tension, emotions, drama, angst, character development, happy ending :)

Chapter warnings: flirting, rule breaking, mild exploration through touch, cheating mention

Monday, November 11th 1985

The fog was lifting in you. 

You could tell when the laundry beckoned to be folded after weeks of neglect. When the act of folding it was something you wanted to do.

When the boxes that had become part of the scenery in your living room suddenly seemed like they didn’t belong there. When you wanted to cook more than just things you could put in a microwave. 

You would wake up on the weekend and ask yourself what you wanted to do with the little free time you had in the space between the chores, and the errands, and the papers you had to grade. You would ask yourself what records you wanted to listen to instead of just turning on the radio to fill the space with noise. Instead of exhausting them all without consideration.

You had been asking yourself a lot of questions over the last two weeks. The loudest of them all — What am I doing?

You would ask yourself this question every morning as you brushed on your makeup and felt more beautiful than you could remember, even since before your life came crashing down this summer. 

You would ask yourself again as you sifted through your closet, as the hangers screeched against the metal pole to dig out a dress from the back that you hadn’t worn in ages. Cream colored linen, tea length, with short puff sleeves, a square neckline, and buttons down the front. It tapered at the banded waist and flowed outward in an A line. 

The question would rattle like a pinball in your mind as you stamped your punch card in the main office. As the receptionist complimented the dress that you had on.

It would sit like a weight in your stomach as you made small talk with the other teachers. As you sat in one of the old scratchy chairs in the teachers’ lounge that suddenly bothered you less and opened the lunch you found the energy to pack again.

It would echo in your thoughts like the clicking of your footsteps down the hallway. 

What am I doing?

It was a question you didn’t know the answer to. 

All you knew was when the wind caught your dress from the haste you made toward your classroom, the smile you stole from him as you passed brought silence to it. That the way he looked at you made all noise, all else, cease. That it made you feel as timeless as he said you were. 

There was a change in him too. It was subtle, as all things were in your relationship with Eddie Munson, but ever since some force beyond yourself possessed you to utter even the barest inkling of your feelings, he was bolder.

He would sit very close to you, oftentimes with his shoulder angled behind you. An action equally as thrilling as it was terrifying. He had done this before on a few prior occasions but never like this. Never for this long. 

He always took his jacket off so you could feel his arm graze against yours as he reached to turn a page or grab a pencil. 

He would do these things so often that there was a quiet, secret part of you that wondered whether it was time to rearrange your classroom so that your desk was out of sight of the doorway. You shot the thought down the moment it intruded. As long as the desk was within eyeshot, you could ration that the possibility of being seen would hold you both accountable and encourage good behavior. That was what you told yourself anyway. 

The problem was that Eddie Munson wasn’t that concerned with good behavior.

Every time he sat beside you, your eyes, in the closeness of his proximity, would find another feature to admire. 

Today it was the rips in his jeans. The way you could see his skin straining against the slits in the fabric. How your eyes could gather the strong angles of his kneecaps and for some reason, this was doing things to you. You would steal glances at them, down and to your right, as he leaned forward in his seat next to you. 

It was always next to you. It had been for the past two weeks.

He pointed at a drawing of a humanoid demon looking creature with horns and a tail in the monster manual laid out in front of you on top of his history textbook. 

“So this is the tiefling race, which is what I played years ago before I took over as DM. I was a tiefling bard, which is like a sort of, uh, musician spellcaster.” 

That was another change — how frequently he would get off topic, and how often you would let him. 

“Very true to life then,” you said with a little chuckle.

His lips curled into a hardened smirk to smother a blinding grin. 

“You think so?” There was a whisper of pink in his cheeks. 

“Oh yeah, absolutely,” you said breathlessly.

Then he did something he hadn’t done before — he put his arm around the back of your chair.

The animal inside you preened. 

Heart racing, you turned your head ever so slightly, allowing your eyes to trace the barely there stubble that peppered his jaw before they wandered to his lips — soft, broad, and still smirking. You were close enough to feel the delicate hairs that strayed from his wild curls brush your cheek. Close enough to feel the warmth radiate from his arm against the linen of your back, like a bubble of protection, or some other magic found in the pages sprawled out before you.

It was hard to think of anything else but you managed. “What do you think I would play?”

“Mmm.” His hum was a warm vibration at your ear. It sent a ripple to your core. Ringed fingers drummed against the back of your seat. “Well, an elf, obviously,” he chuckled. “As for class, let’s see…” 

You could feel the weight of his eyes on you, scanning you as the gears turned in his head. It was quiet in the room, and in the hallway. Quiet enough to hear your heartbeat in your ears. You wondered if he could too.

“See I wanna say wizard because they get their magic from reading books, but…”

You raised your eyebrows playfully. “But?” 

“I think you’re more of a healing type."

“Oh yeah?” Your soft chuckle filled the silence and you allowed yourself, for just a moment, to relax a little bit. To lean into the warmth of his strong shoulder, enveloped in the safety of the secret you both shared. You could catch his scent from this position more than ever. The warm musk emanating from under his arm. The whisper of shampoo and cigarettes. That soft, indescribable scent of his skin. It almost made you dizzy. 

“Yeah, like a cleric, only they get their power from worshiping deities and… I don’t know if that’s really you either.”

You hummed. “Where do you think I get my power from then?”

His voice was soft but certain when he answered. “Within.”  

Flutters — straight to your core.

“Maybe that makes you more of a sorcerer then,” he pondered, tipping his head towards you. His breath feathered your cheeks, lids heavy over deep chocolate eyes. 

You met them with a breathy chuckle, feeling so girlish all of a sudden. As if suddenly you were not behind the big desk, but a much smaller one. 

The pads of his fingers brushed your arm. So delicately that at first you thought it was just a consequence of their proximity, but when they began to trace tentative, tickling circles, it was evidently intentional. 

You swallowed, your skin beneath his touch like a livewire. Every delicate hair on your arm picking up on the movements of his calloused pads, amplifying them like a radio signal straight to the animal part of you. 

He held you in his gaze, eyes wide like a question. But when the corners of your mouth gave way, gave their soft permission, the corners of his did as well. As did the corners of his eyes, crinkling in that way you loved so much. 

His fingers got braver. The circles widened into strokes. His thumb got involved. Still, you could feel his heart pounding into your shoulder. Feel the nerves emanating from under his touch. Feel the want, the care, the ache, the frustration. 

It might have been seconds. Minutes. A small, stolen eternity.

Until a voice echoed in the hallway. Suddenly there was that question again — triggered like a pinball machine, loud and intrusive as it rattled in your mind. Your eyes shot towards the door. His followed.

Eddie took his arm away, and you wondered if the strangled whine that left your chest was audible to him too.

Silence prickled the space between you, ears attuned to the noise coming closer. Eddie’s eyes were fixed on the door, his strong brows furrowed in what you could only interpret as annoyance. The voices grew louder, then passed, fading into distant echos.

The footsteps left behind an ache. Palpable, pervasive. Eddie sighed and looked at you, to which you could only respond with a resigned huff of your own. You must have looked as pitiful as you felt, because what he did next took you by surprise. It always did, even if this time it was something he had done before.

He reached under the desk and grabbed your hand.

It didn’t matter that he’d held your hand before. It didn’t matter even if he’d held it a hundred times. Your heart still leapt in your chest. The pinballs still fired off inside your head with lights and sound effects. 

But when his warm thumb rubbed circles over your icy knuckles, slow and deliberate, soothing and caring, the sounds got muffled. The flashing dimmed. Until there was nothing but a landscape of bones, and tendons, and the meat of his soft palm. Nothing but the valleys of the space between his fingers when they ventured further than they had ever gone before — in the spaces between yours.

Your back might have arched. Your eyes might have rolled back into your head if you hadn’t closed them so quickly. You wouldn’t know because the only thing you were aware of anymore was the velvet interior of the space between Eddie’s fingers. How they filled the space between yours in a warm, comfortable stretch. 

There was a line and both of you had crossed it. Held hands and jumped over it like a broom. You knew it, he knew it. There was no going back. And knowing this, there was another question you had been asking yourself for the past two weeks — how far would you go?

Would it stop at holding hands? Eddie wasn’t exactly the patient type. You’d spent enough time with him to know that much.  

You opened your eyes to the classroom. Your classroom. To the rows of desks lined up like soldiers. To the chalkboards, and bulletin boards, and concrete walls. To the big desk in front of you. To the open door.

Pinballs again. Ricocheting like thunder. Your pulse in your ears, your stomach in your seat.

You glanced down at your hands intertwined, hidden from sight in the shadow of the large, looming desk. You admired how the heel of his hand cradled yours. How perfectly they fit together. The way your forearm rested against his, warm and soft. How secure it made you feel. There was a tug in your heart, deep and thrumming. You squeezed his hand for one more precious second… and let it go.

“I— I think we should, um,” you swallowed and gingerly shut the monster manual. The ache was back, shooting through your chest like daggers. 

Eddie looked at you, the loss of your hand palpable in the subtle pain of his expression. “Right,” he said plainly. There was a knowing there too, an understanding that replaced it more quickly than you expected. 

He scratched behind his neck with the hand you could still feel the ghost of. “So it’s uh, progress report day.” You could tell by the look in his eyes that he was going somewhere with this.

You raised your eyebrows. “I’m well aware.”

He tipped his head towards you. “I believe we had an agreement.” 

“Oh?”

“You don’t remember?” 

“Remind me.”

Eddie reached into the pocket of the jacket that hung on his seat and procured a paper folded into thirds. “You told me that if I got a B in any of my classes that you would let me read one of your stories.”

Your eyes widened. “I did say that, didn’t I?”

He squinted smugly. “You did.”

You glanced toward your grading binder on the upper lefthand corner of the desk and grabbed it, “If I’m not mistaken though, you have B- in my class,” you said, thumbing through the pages to find fourth period. “Yeah, see?” you pointed to it. “Technically not a B, all those missed assignments from September still count I’m afraid,” your voice was playful.

Eddie’s mouth curled into mischievous little grin as he opened the paper in his hands, “Oh I’m not talking about your class. I believe the agreement was for one class. Any of my classes.” He pointed to a line on the page. “I got a B in shop class.” 

You leaned closer, honing in on the clearly printed B above his finger. “It’s — it’s still not the final report, just a progress report.”

“It’s still an official report,” he said smugly. 

It was almost as if he could see the gears turning in your head, the dread setting into your features.

“See, I’ve kept the promises I’ve made so far,” he brought a hand to his chest, “I think it’s only fair that you make good on yours,” he said, squinting again.

You sighed. “Fine. I’ll bring it in on Wednesday. But… it’s— it’s not totally finished. There’s still quite a bit of editing that needs to be done and—“

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. More than fine. Captivating, actually, if it’s anything like the author.” His smile was tinted with childish excitement. His eyes with a warmth made you shiver.

You tucked your hair behind your ear to distract from the heat creeping into your cheeks. “It’s been forever since I’ve even looked at it to be honest. Years actually.”

“Glad to give you an excuse then.”

______

It was a typical Tuesday night. 

A typical night of the flimsy windows in Gareth’s tidy garage trembling at the raw, unhinged, cranked-up-to-eleven power of Corroded Coffin.

“Hand of Doom” was cleaning up nicely. Dave’s bassline was solid. Gareth’s drums were neat and timely. Jeff was nailing the chord progression. Eddie’s vocals were well equipped to handle Ozzy’s range.

You’re having a good time baby

But that won’t last

Your mind’s all full of things

You’re living too fast

Go out and enjoy yourself

Don’t bottle it in

You need someone to help you

Stick the needle in

There was a perfect balance of space for his vocals to breathe over the walking bassline, then crescendo into pure instrumental power. 

A power he could feel as he attacked the strings. An agency at his fingertips as they tapped out a howling melody over the chugging chords laid out for him by Jeff and Dave, over Gareth’s thundering kick drum. 

A power that could sweep him up and away, carry him far from the crushing weight of the stares of his classmates, far from the looks of disappointment on the faces of the other teachers, far from the heaviness of his feelings.

Swept away in a wave of sound, there was only space in his hindbrain for the patterns his fingers made on the fretboard. For his breath to leave his chest in wailing song. 

The last chord of rung out through Gareth’s garage with a thunderous rattle. 

All four of them looked at each other with smiles and nods. Gareth banged out an extra drum fill. Jeff chugged out approving strums. 

They were ready to take it to the Hideout.

“Nice work, gentleman,” Eddie shouted into the mic, met with whoops and hollers. “I think we’re ready for another, whaddya say, boys?”

More hollers and drum fills.

“How ‘bout Ace of Spades?” offered Jeff.

“No, Symphony of Destruction,” countered Gareth.

Eddie noodled out a mindless melody. “I dunno I’m thinking War Pigs.”

Dave rolled his eyes. “We just did Sabbath, dude.”

“Yeah, we just did Sabbath well,” Eddie pressed.

“Why don’t we do something different, like a Rush song or something?” suggested Dave.

Gareth snorted. “Rush isn’t metal. We’re a metal band, dude.”

Dave rolled his eyes. “Whatever, you couldn’t handle a Rush song anyway.”

“Could too, asswipe. You know what, yeah, let’s do Rush. I wanna see those fat fingers of yours fingers of yours find their way around the bassline,” Gareth laughed.

“Shut up!” Eddie hollered. “Everyone just think about it and we can vote on Saturday. We’ve got like half an hour before we’ve gotta leave anyway.”

“I can’t Saturday, remember? Me and Cindy are going to a movie.”

A low ooh emanated from the guys. 

“What ‘cha end up picking?” asked Jeff.

“Back to the Future. Cindy still hasn’t seen it.” 

Dave balked. “Seriously? Does she live under a rock? It’s been out since like, July, dude.” 

Gareth rolled his eyes. “Yeah, seriously. Cindy doesn’t go to a lot of movies, she’s into like… books and stuff,” he said, a touch of pride colored his voice.

“Ooh so cultured,” Dave taunted.  

“Dude shut up, you’re just jealous ‘cause I have a date. I feel like that’s a good one though, right? I mean it’s got action and a sorta romance but it’s not too serious?”

Jeff shrugged, “Yeah I dunno, do girls like those kinds of movies?”

Gareth gave a puff of air through his nose. “Depends on the girl, they don’t have a hivemind, Jeff.”

Dave snorted. “Like you know anything about girls.”

“More than you!”

Dave rolled his eyes. “You got one date you haven’t even been on yet — doesn’t make you an expert.”

That’s when three of them turned to look at Eddie.

Eddie glanced around nervously, “What?”

“You’ve like… been with girls before, right?” asked Jeff.

Eddie scratched the back of his neck, “Uh, yeah.”

Truthfully, Eddie would hardly consider himself an expert on women. But in a garage full of virgins, his few summer flings would render him one by default.

“Yeah, haven’t you like,” Dave raised his eyebrows suggestively, “Done it?” He gestured with his hands, his index finger moving in and out of the circle he made with his other.

The boys erupted in wheezing cackles.

Eddie snorted. “Yeah I’ve done it,” he said, heat creeping up his neck. 

“Ok then, so like, what should Gareth do on his date?” asked Jeff.

“Yeah what should Gareth do to… you know,” Dave chuckled lewdly.

Gareth scoffed. “Dude I’m not trying to score on the first date. Cindy’s not like that. Besides, I’m not a total sleazeball.”

By Gareth’s definition, Eddie certainly would be. He could count the number of actual dates he’d had on less than one hand. The number of girls he’d slept with on about the same. Actually, it was rare that a date coincided. There was the girl he met at a carnival the summer he turned 17. That was short-lived. Then there was another girl who spent July with her grandma at the trailer park. He was 19 then. They would fool around in the woods outside of Forest Hills before she moved on too. That winter he would meet another at the Hideout, just passing though. She never even called him back. Could he really consider any of them dates?

The boys quarreled amongst themselves and Eddie found his thoughts drifting as they always did — to you. The truth was he had no idea what he was doing. What he did know was how good it felt to be next to you. To touch you. To hear your thoughts on anything at all. To lace his fingers between yours and watch the sigh as it left your body. To pretend that you were his for one stolen moment.

What he did know was that he wanted to take you on a date. Like a real, proper date. He wanted to buy you flowers and open doors for you. He wanted to sit down across from you over dinner, to see your smile in a candlelit glow, to pay for it at the end. 

What he did know was that he’d never felt this way about anyone before. What he also knew was that he could do absolutely none of these things with you in public. 

But he did know what he wanted.

“I dunno, man. Just like, buy her a ticket, get her some popcorn, be a real person,” Eddie offered finally.

“And get a spot in the back of the theater so you can —” Dave turned around, moving his hands up and down his body like he was making out with his bass.

Gareth threw a drumstick at him.

______

It was a typical Tuesday night. 

A typical night of coming home later than you wanted after a pointless faculty meeting.

The breath you took in the crisp air outside the door to your apartment was deep and ragged as you turned the key. You could still feel the tacky chalk on your fingers as you pressed open the door. The echos of the questions you would answer over and over to raised hands still ringing in your mind. The adrenaline still coursing through your chest, tight and constricting. The mask that still weighed heavy on your face.

You shut the door behind you and removed your boots, and the mask.

The sun was going down already. Dim and quiet. Not a single sound for your tired voice to fight anymore.

It was nothing like your house in Indianapolis, the old craftsman bungalow that you had loved so dearly. A real house with character and charm. A kitchen with a big gas stove, and a dishwasher, and  actual counter space. A dining room with a table big enough to host Thanksgiving. 

It was a place would never have been able to afford on your own. Not on your meager teaching salary. Not in a city like that. 

You might have been able to afford something small here in Hawkins, if you’d saved for it long enough. One of those little one-story shoebox homes built in the 50s near the neighborhood you grew up in. But buying a house just felt so permanent. 

You hung your keys on the hook by the door. There was no character in the plain white walls of the entryway. None you could gather in the hall leading past the nook of your kitchen into the wood paneled confines of your living room. No space for a dining room table. 

But the carpet still cradled your aching feet. There were still your records, and posters, and television exactly where you left them. There were still your books overflowing on the meager shelves you were able to squeeze into your bedroom. You couldn’t take the built-in craftsman cabinets with you when you moved. There was a lot you couldn’t take with you, and other things you wished you could have left.

There was one box you hadn’t unpacked yet. It was sitting in your closet, pushed back into the corner under summer dresses and winter coats. It was a box you hadn’t even unpacked at your old place in Indianapolis. One of those boxes that traveled with you from place to place ever since you packed your dorm room up for the final time your senior year. 

Sliding open the slatted wood door, you reached under the clothing and dragged it out into your bedroom. It was not that big, but it was heavy.

You sat cross-legged on the carpet and hooked your fingers under the cardboard, folded in on itself to keep it shut without tape. It took a good tug to untuck one of the panels. Dust powdered the air as it sprung open. 

It was hard to remember the last time you’d opened it, let alone everything that was inside. You sifted through the contents as the memories returned to you.

There were a few notebooks, an old journal, a few Polaroid photos you had forgotten about. Just you and your roommate doing stupid poses, hanging off of the bunk bed you shared like children.

There were many things that were more or less junk. Things that at the time of packing you just couldn’t seem to part with, like an old party hat from your roommate’s 21st birthday — crumpled and creased under the weight of time. You remembered decorating it with her and your other friends at the table in the common room. You all looked ridiculous wearing them on the town, going from bar to bar, your bright colored hats standing out like beacons against the backdrop of the January snow. 

There were other things — a few postcards from friends brave enough to study abroad. A folded world map that once hung in the living room of your first apartment, the one you scrounged for with your best friend. In hindsight it was even smaller than the one you had now, and it had two bedrooms. It felt big to you then. 

That was before you met Dan. 

Before you settled into the craftsman he’d purchased in the historic part of town. Settled into routines and scheduled fancy date nights. Settled into planned family outings and weekends home in Hawkins where he would surprise your mother with news of his promotion at the law firm over dinner. News of the computer he’d purchased for you. News of your engagement.

Before you added more things to the box. Things that didn’t fit into you schedule anymore. Before you’d moved it here.

Before he left behind an ice in you.

There was one thing in the box that you expected to find. It was a black three-ring binder. Unassuming, but most important. 

You cracked it open and stared down at the first page of your novel, quietly bracing yourself for the contents. It had been ages since you’d looked at it. You wondered if the years of separation between the you of the present and the you who wrote it would determine whether it was actually any good or not. In your memory it was. 

You thumbed through the pages, silently critiquing your choice of verbs, your lack of variety in the dialogue tags, how tangibly painful it was for you to set scenes. 

The story was there though. That was the thing that mattered most. The verbs could be changed, better tags could be added, the scenes could be more fleshed out. But the story held water.

Most distinctly of all, you remembered the thrill of writing it. The rush of being flooded with ideas. The hours you would spend in the car that flew by in a vivid daydream on the weekends you visited Hawkins. How every song on the radio seemed to fit the telling of your story. 

There was a dreaming taking root in you again. Yesterday. Now. For the past two weeks. You felt it like the rush of wind that caught your dress as you glided down the hallway. The airy softness that pervaded your thoughts and made you want to dance.

You thought about the last time you felt this way.

The last time you did something for you and only you.

The last time you pursued what it was you really wanted.

______

A/N: You didn’t think I was going to leave Chekov’s unfinished novel sitting on the mantle did you?? ;)

A technical note — the tiefling race wasn’t introduced to the game until 1994 but we’re going to ignore that because I think it’s really fitting for Eddie. :)

As always, I deeply appreciate any and all comments -- keyboard smashing, theories, small novels, all of it. Hearing your reactions to my story fuels me in ways that I can only begin to tell you.

Please reblog and help others to find my precious creation! ✨

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[runelocked]

drop your top 10 fnaf songs now pls

didn’t know if you meant actual fan songs or songs i associate with fnaf so i did five of each!! i could speak about all of these songs for hours so i WON’T but if you’re curious pls ask ^_^

1. I CAN’T FIX YOU / THE LIVING TOMBSTONE

OKAY THIS SONG GETS ME. You’ve been mourning your loss here and that’s grinding my gears, how can a human lose their self control? There’s nothing left to make you whole GETS ME. I LOVE Circus Baby & her story and everything about her so this song drives me wild already (unless i’ve interpreted it wrong and it’s not about baby in which case. oops!). the fact she’s speaking to william here and how frustrating it is for her that he’s MOURNING while his hands are covered in blood (her blood). this is such a bitter sad song and it makes me crazy so have some more lyrics that make me insane!

You oversaturate your world with nothing but machines. You might make everyone happy, but you’re dead inside, just like me. And now we’re here at a standstill — I wonder if you feel the kind of pain that puts your insides out (that’s something I know all about).

2. AFTON FAMILY / APANGRYPIGGY

i mean you KNOW my obsession with the afton family. you KNOW how bad it is. switching between each of the afton children and william (WHERE IS MRS AFTON. WHERE IS SHE. WHERE’S THE LOML) is such an interesting take on the song and you already know that the family is my main point of interest in the lore !!! also the chorus just SLAPS: all stay strong, we live eternally! all is well in the afton family vs lives, they fell to pure insanity! all is hell in the afton family is good ok. like i am a simple person with simple pleasures. a good bit of lyrical contrast is one of them ^_^

3. DRAWN TO THE BITTER / DHEUSTA

HENRY AND WILLIAM SONG. HENRY AND WILLIAM SONG. WHAT’S NOT TO BE OBSESSED WITH. if those other two songs weren’t so good then this would be ranked higher tbh!!! i am a SUCKER for this song and also for the pre to post diner era. to me it sounds like it’s from william’s perspective too as he reminisces on the past (a loss of precious life, a part of me died inside that night) and that makes it so much better for me…. the tragedy unfolding through the verses while the chorus drills home how inevitable the events were always going to be … tragedy is drawn to the bitter and william is the most bitter one out there :’)

4. FIVE MORE NIGHTS / JT MUSIC

fun fact!!! i heard this song before five long nights and i love them both. this one slips by into being in my favorite five list though. just a good old fashioned low lore song and it makes me so damn hyped and reminds me of the core of the franchise. the edits i see to this part of the song — did you listen to the vision you saw? as the clock keeps ticking we’ll be giving you more — do you remember the original four? take a look at us now, ‘cause our condition is poor! we were left to decay in this dark troubled place… — fucking rock ok. like all of them. this song is a bop idc

5. BELOW THE SURFACE / GRIFFINILLA

first fnaf song i ever heard so it holds a special place in my heart :3 also because sl is one of my fav games (that im gonna be playing on stream later most likely YAYY)!! his voice means to deceive you, my voice just wants to lead you. i used to squint a little at the line built without purpose because well . they WERE built with purpose. but in my understanding of the lore, these ones were the first to be built for purposes OTHER than fun/family etc, so they lack an innocent purpose so i get that part of the song now agdkhd. also who can resist exotic butters as the outro huh. c good song, v catchy, it’s gonna be stuck in my head all day now !

—

1. NO SURPRISES / RADIOHEAD

another afton family insp. song, by which i mean i loop this while writing anything remotely sad about the franchise and cry endlessly over them!!! I’m probably gonna do an ACTUAL line by line analysis of this and how it relates to my will & mike writing, but have a few for now: a job that slowly kills you (both mike & will), you look so tired and unhappy (the job destroying who william once was), i’ll take a quiet life, a handshake of carbon monoxide, no alarms and no surprises (see last bits of analysis), this is my final fate (both of them, father and son, facing painful ends at the hands of animatronics). and then of course we have such a pretty house and such a pretty garden no alarms and no surprises (get me out of here) because so MUCH of the toxicity in the household was so insidious. a carbon monoxide death. william’s effect on the rest of the family poisoned them slowly and michael was resigned to it for so much of his life (no alarms and no surprises) but inwardly wanted out so BAD (get me out of here). this song fucking destroys me!

2. THE MIND ELECTRIC / CHONNY JASH

a cassidy song in my mind. especially this version! really does well at highlighting the bitterness and hatred she feels for william. “this creature hardly resembles a man, my logic is the absolute, his pity parties simply harm these chances at an apt repute esteemed regard in place of mockery” like YES!!! read him!!! have more that’s just SO fitting for the dynamic of these two:

3. KISS ME, SON OF GOD / THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS

4. SICK ON SEVENTH STREET / SARAH & THE SAFE WORD

5. THE DEAD COME TALKING / ROE KAPARA

[ouroboobos]

cant stop thinking about this (overall poorly written) sex scene i read a while back that took place in an icy lake. worlds dryest most uncomfortable fuck ever written