#also fuck ted cruz

[xx-pr0p5-n-m4ur1c0n-xx]

This whole time I thought my white patients were just non verbal or something. But no they just dont talk to people of color. And when they do talk to me it's along the lines of "I don't like these foreigners blah blah blah" "these trans people this gay people that" like dude I'm wiping your ass, making sure you're comfortable, and making sure your meals are warm. Why tf won't you answer when I have basic questions like "do your wounds still hurt? What would you like to eat? If I pick you up like this, will you be in pain?" I don't even talk quiet either ik their asses are hard if hearing. But god forbid fuckin bid I talk to the janitor lady about how it's okay that she comes in and cleans the room in Spanish and we're speaking quietly, suddenly the patient has a whole speech to say.

[shinobicyrus]

He’s only officially owned Twitter for 17 days.

[toytulini]

you know whats more annoying than dems calling vance and trump weird is all the condescending posts justifying it actually. like im a bit annoyed about "weird" being used this way but also like man if it fucking works i guess

but do i have to keep seeing daily posts exhaustively justifying how normie midwesterners use weird different or whatever the fuck man just shut up and call them weird then, stop justifying it to me

[castlebyersafterdark]

“Just like, you wonder if there were rewrites with Millie after she was trashing the show a little, talking about how she can't wait for it to end so she can move on. Maybe the DB were like - oh, bet? Screen time slashed, have fun. That's mostly me being spiteful though 🤭 Sorry...”

Your casual pettiness towards Millie always catches me off guard and it will never fail to crack me up 🤣🤣🤣

(it reminds me of this one rapper who has a reoccurring gag where he makes sure to say “fuck ted cruz” in different songs)

Casual pettiness, soooo real. I don't want to seem like a bitter person and make this spot about hating on the girl, even if there's a lot I dislike and I side eye her decisions and the way she presents herself. I like gossip, but I'll probably limit my snidness with this one for now 😉 Keeping things light if I can!

I think there are valid valid valid reasons for not liking her and I agree (🫡 to the anon who sent a gripe list hahaha) but I'm also not a fan of dunking on her relationship like who cares if they got married young? Maybe they'll last! Maybe they'll divorce in a year and oh well haha. But, anyway. Several things can be true!! Millie Millie Millie. What an odd person.

[anotherpapercut]

remember when the dems in the us legislature were like "if they overturn roe we'll riot" then they overturned both roe and Casey and Biden tweeted about it and that was basically it

[tirednotflirting]

okay we barbenheimered. i am. emotion.

[dogshit-enchantment]

This is an insanely large call to action with no communal effort. Where's a forum or page or chat to communicate with locals about organizing strikes or is that all meant to be magically figured out. I also saw someone mention a lack of a "strike fund" which yeah, if this call for a FULL WEEK off of work is meant to be taken seriously then where is there a place for people to apply for funding help to deal with life expenses. 62% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck, missing a single week of work could mean homelessness, car reclamation, starvation, etc life ruining shit.

If there is a strike fund it should be noted. If there is a supporting community effort it should be noted. I work for a company that had massive walk outs and strikes and even those only last for as long as they did BECAUSE they had a small, tight knit community of *coworkers* as well as the support of funds. This is a call to action for a FULL WEEK full of randos all over the country, and while I hope it does help I feel like it would do better to simply work as regular and donate to relief efforts and put in the effort to call representatives.

Bisan Owda's call to action

eSims For Gaza

For USAmericans: Call your reps | Email your reps It takes only a few minutes and there are scripts if needed. If you call after hours, you can leave a voicemail.

US Campaign for Palestinian Rights Action Toolkit

Jan 26th Int'l Day of Action Toolkit

Google Drive of posters to print

Other infographics about the strike: here and here

I will be queuing this post for every day this week. IDs in Alt text!

[robertsbarbie]

“see that young voters kamala thinks you’re stupid now I would never think you’re stupid” yall literally have a segment where you make fun of gen z—that 18-24 demographic you just said you don’t think is stupid? you are on record on multiple accounts calling stupid so….

[titleknown]

So, while I've talked about this in other posts, I figured I may as well compile it in one post with this nifty propaganda poster (more on that later)

Long story short, they're bringing back KOSA/the Kids Online Safety Act in the US Senate, and they're going to mark it up next Thursday as of the time of this post (4/23/2023).

If you don’t know, long story short KOSA is a bill that’s ostensibly one of those “Protect the Children” bills, but what it’s actually going to do is more or less require you to scan your fucking face every time you want to go on a website; or give away similarly privacy-violating information like your drivers’ license or credit card info. 

Either that or force them to censor anything that could even remotely be considered not “kid friendly.” Not to mention fundies are openly saying they’re gonna use this to hurt trans kids. Which is, uh, real fucking bad. 

As per usual, I urge you to contact your congresscritters, and especially those on the Commerce Committee, who'll likely be the ones marking it up.

Those senators are:

Maria Cantwell, Washington, Chair

Amy Klobuchar, Minnesota

Brian Schatz, Hawaii

Ed Markey, Massachusetts

Gary Peters, Michigan

Tammy Baldwin, Wisconsin

Tammy Duckworth, Illinois

Jon Tester, Montana

Kyrsten Sinema, Arizona

Jacky Rosen, Nevada

Ben Ray Luján, New Mexico

John Hickenlooper, Colorado

Raphael Warnock, Georgia

Peter Welch, Vermont

Ted Cruz, Texas, Ranking Member

John Thune, South Dakota

Roger Wicker, Mississippi

Deb Fischer, Nebraska

Jerry Moran, Kansas

Dan Sullivan, Alaska

Marsha Blackburn, Tennessee

Todd Young, Indiana

Ted Budd, North Carolina

Eric Schmitt, Missouri

J.D. Vance, Ohio

Shelley Moore Capito, West Virginia

Cynthia Lummis, Wyoming

Again, it doesn't work unless you do it en-masse, so make sure to call ASAP and tell them to kill this bill, and if they actually want a bill to allow/get sites to protect kids, the Federal Fair Access To Banking Act would be far better.

Also, this poster is officially, for the sake of spreading it, under a CC0 license. Feel free to spread it, remix it, add links to the bottom, edit it to be about the other bad internet bills they're pushing, use it as a meme format, do what you will but for gods' sake get the word out!

Also, shoutout to @o-hybridity for coming up with the slogan for the poster, couldn't have done it without 'em!

[tommyssupercoolblog]

THE SHOW WAS AMAZING OMGGGGGG RAAAUGHGJFHFHFH GOES FERAL AND GNAWS ON MY COMPUTER

ALSO I MADE NEW MUTIALS HI NEW MUTUALS!!!! HEWWO!!!! BAPS YOU WITH MY PAWS

Spoilers under the cut

H-o-t-t-o-g-o, you can take me HOT to goooo

TWINKS ON ICE and "camera flash can be distracting, Phil will fall of the stage and die" absolutely SLAYED me

Dan accidentally said "Dan and pheal" instead of Dan and Phil and they both stopped to pretend to hold the pheal. Dan said that would be a better show than this.

SISTER DANIEL SLAYED

I don't know if this happens at EVERY show but in ours, the audience chose to kill the original Dan and Phil every time

Dan has illegalized ted Cruz but then got arrested for being British. Dr Phil loves helping old ladies cum and his favorite word is skibidi. I don't remember the third facts for either

Even though it wasn't picked, a whole bunch of people around us (and us) started chanting "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK" when they asked what Dr. Phil's favorite word would be. Later we chanted "TOUR BUS" but that one worked!!!!

One of the audience confessions was that someone likes to "mark their territory" (yes. In the gross way) to know what it's like so sister Daniel called them a bad kitty and they sprayed the audience with water. Also Phil called out that some people had their MOUTHS OPEN while they were being sprayed.

The other audience confessions were that someone wrote "Phantrash(insert some numbers I can't remember)" on a wall in invisible ink and then MOVED OUT OF THW HOUSE AND LEFT IT THERE??? And then a confession that just said "someone in the audience thinks you sound like owls" which they both were confused by at first, but then Dan's face like. LIT UP in recognition and he repeated the question to Phil and Phil said "Who?" And Dan LOST IT and made fun of him. LMAO

They explained their first experience at a bucces. And THEN later phil said that his new favorite nuts are bucces nuts (as revealed later when they were asked by the audience to discuss nuts). Also they hate peanuts and think no one likes them unless they're paid to by "big peanut". And they both like "hot nuts" and Dan likes them salted and Phil likes them sweetened/candied. And yes they made sex jokes about it and also Dan said that Phil's favorite nuts were actually HIS NUTS

Phil having the phitties to the wind was not what I expected

I. Could have SWORN that there was an ...."uninvited guest" in the 🍑 part of the wresting match but no one's posted about it even though the whole theatre was like "AUGH!!" And they cut away and I turned to everyone next to us and was like "!!!! Uh oh was that REAL?? Um-" so. Maybe we were wrong. But I was about to be like "DANIEL HOWELL I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOUR THERAPIST IS SO GOOD BECAUSE I PERSONALLY WOULD DIE"

Dan wore a cowboy hat during the musical number

I NEED THAT SONG IN MY PLAYLIST AND THAT DANCE MEMORIZED

I MISSED THE FUCKING PHOTO OPP BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME ENOUGH WARNINF TO UNLOCK MY PHONEEEE evil. Evil of them. Dan and Phil you betrayed me personally. Evil. I DID however get them walking aways

I bought the Dan and Phil made me gay shirt

Unrelated to the show itself but someone was handing out worms, and there were SO many sister Daniel cosplayers, and I happened to sit literally right in front of two other systems so it was like. Halfway through the show we realized that's what was happening and it was like HEWWO???? WOAH. Also this was my first time in Austin and guys... guys some sections of these roads are fucking perpendicular. I saw multiple people with mobility aids and like I HAVE ZERO AIDS AND IT HURT TO WALK ARE Y'ALL GOATS??? ARE YOU JUST NOT ABLE TO WALK OUTSIDE AT ALL AND HAVE TO TAKE CARS??? The whole fucking city is a series of V shapes with buildings on it. Girl why do your streets go straight up into the sky are you trying to drive up to jesus. Liked the rentable scooters tho

[wise-writer-girl]

THATS WILD

Rafael the racist Immigrant, hater of progress.

[littlest-foxx]

also ALSO A L S O

MOTHERFUCKING TED FUCKING CRUZ SOMEHOW WON IN FUCKING TEXAS. PIECE OF SHIT WASTE OF SPACE DOES NOTHING FOR ANYONE BITCHASS W-O-N . like are you actually fucking with me ??? like actually ?? when do we wake up ?

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

The Senator From Texas

Featuring Sen. Ted Cruz

I was now ready to start my plan of seducing the senator from Texas, Ted Cruz, an arrogant, married, hard-drinking former corporate attorney and political commentator. A so-called real “man’s man” who rarely passes up an opportunity to grandstand, to troll the left or deliver right-wing talking points. He’s also my boss, thirty plus years my senior and one of those family men I suspect with a hidden side that his bleach blonde wife and daughters know nothing about. A side that needs to be exposed. That’s where I come in, the trusted aide who can’t keep his eyes off the ever-present VPL in his trousers and who’ll give him the dirty sex his wife won’t/can’t.

Anyway, because some news about his re-election campaign came up that couldn't wait til morning, Ted was at my apartment. He still had on his suit, minus the tie slacks he had on earlier today. And of course he was still wearing his black ostrich “arguing boots.”

After a few minutes going over some paperwork, Ted noticed what I had playing on my laptop nearby. Some straight porn on mute with no plot, just fucking. I wanted the movie to get right to the point quickly. Ted was trying to ignore it, but obviously liked the movie and I noticed he was getting hard. I casually put my hand on his leg and he did not resist as moved down to Joe's crotch.

"What are you doing?" Ted asked as I slowly massaged his dick through his pants which was nice and hard from watching the movie.

"Just relax Ted. I'm not going to hurt you. Feels good doesn't it?"

"Yes but…" The senator's words were choked off by a lump in his throat.

I could tell he didn't know what to make of the situation as I unzipped his pants and took out his stiff cock.

"You like it, don't you Ted?" He didn't reply as he was too busy enjoying me jerking him off.

Making him stand up, I began to slowly lick the lightly dripping dick.

"Oh god, that's good."

I slowly undressed the senator. First, completely removing his pants and underwear. Of course I keeped his boots on. Then moving up, I removed his jacket. God! It was wonderful. I felt a surge of pure power flash through my body as I pulled his shirt off exposing his broad chest and belly. I smiled at his nipples. They were tiny like most straight men's. I found it amusing that his short thick circumcised dick was still rock hard.

"Damn you smell nice." I said as I bent down and took the beautiful head of his dick in my mouth.

He tried not to moan, but my cock sucking skills were too much for him. I deep throated his old cock and he let out a loud, deep moan, the first of many. I tongued the old man's dick shaft until he started moaning continuously.

Fearing that I was going to make him cum, I stopped and placed a wet kiss on Ted's lips. He started to pull away, but I grabbed him behind the head, held him and forced my tongue into the senator's resistant mouth. Slowly, in spite of himself, he started to respond. Weakly at first, but then as I emptied my soul into the kiss he response became almost passionate.

"Let's go to my bedroom.” I told him when I finally pulled my tongue out of his mouth.

As we broke our embrace, Ted was nervous and almost hyperventilating as I pointed him to my bedroom while I stared at his gorgeous body, almost overcome with lust. His ass cheeks were firm and melon shaped, inviting that I slapped his ass as he went past. As I stripped naked, I found it amusing that his short thick circumcised dick was rock hard as he sat down on the edge of bed waiting for me.

Pushing him back onto the bed, parted the senator's legs and started to suck his cock. He started moaning as I tongued and sucked his thick little dick. His moans were music to my ears. I wanted to make Ted scream and beg for more. He wanted him to come back for more again and again as I started licking his balls to see what he liked best. From there I lightly licked between his thighs as a teaser. Ted was squirming now and clutching the bed sheets to keep from screaming out loud.

“Oh, God! That was wonderful,” The senator said, when I stopped and lifted Ted's legs so I could get fully at his ass.

Pushing my mouth against the rose bud of his asshole, I forced my tongue inside his tight old asshole, he practically squealed with pleasure. He started arching his back and bucking when I began to twist and turn my tongue deep inside his asshole. And damn me if he wasn't reaching down and stroking my head as his dick jerked uncontrollably. I knew I was well on my way to completely subjugating the senator as it wouldn't be long before he was my sex slave. Now I thought it was time to completely win Ted over.

"Fuck me Ted. Fuck me just like you fuck your wife." I said as I crawled on the bed onto my stomach without waiting for him to respond.

Ted looked at me for a long moment as I could almost see the gears in his head, debating if he should take things further. But I guess he was being so worked up and the sight of my ass caused him to continue, pausing for a moment to pull a tube of KY from the nightstand. I tensely watched as Ted applied the lubricate to his cock with the expectation of getting fucked exciting me.

“You got a tight hole.” Ted told me as he rubbed some of the KY onto my asshole.

“Please take it easy with me.” I faux begged as Ted slowly mounted me.

I could tell he was suprised at how easily he slip in before he fucked in and out of my tube. Slowly at first but the tightness of my tube soon got to him and he stabbed his cock in and out of me at a furious pace.

"Damn, Ted that's good. I never felt anything so good. Keep going. Keep going." I said to feed the senator's ego.

I wanted him to think he was really good, although he was indeed better than most. I was trying his best to pump up Ted's ego, even though I was really enjoying the fucking that Ted was giving me.

"Let me up on my hands and knees so you can fuck me doggy style. My dick is rubbing against the bed. I might cum in this position." I said as I eased up to a position on my hands and knees as Ted continued to fuck my ass. Still slowly at first.

He pulled out till the head almost slipped out then thrust it smoothly back in, each entry into me made me catch my breath and made my chest tight. His rhythm began to pick up speed and he grunted with pleasure. I gasped out loud with each thrust into me as his grip tightened.

"Damn, your ass is tight and hot. I think I'm gonna cum. I can't hold back." Ted said, thrusting fully into me, digging his fingers into my hips and grunted holding himself deep in me.

He began spraying my insides with his hot cum.

"Yes… Give it to me. Give me your load. Damn, that's good!" I screamed as Ted blew his load up his ass.

As he lay on top of me and we started to relax, I was thinking now he was going to go into a big guilt trip. Not Ted Cruz, he seemed to want more. He seemed to want to extend our lovemaking and see what would happen next. Meanwhile, I was going over in my mind how I was going to hook Ted on fucking and sucking. I had already convinced him that he was the best fucker in town, now the next part was to get him in bed and fuck the cum out of him. Once that happened without him getting scared off he would then belong to me.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

This isn't even all of it by the way. He gets asked if he knows what happened at Tiananmen Square, twice if I'm remembering correctly, as well as being asked if he agrees that what China is doing to Uyghur Muslims is genocide.

Oh, and also he's asked if he's afraid that next time he goes to mainland China, he'll be in trouble or get arrested.

This hearing was about child safety on social media apps.

it's really cold war 2.0 💀

[allycat75]

So, you really are doubling down on this ASP thing aren't you, Boston Dumb Fuck (some final thoughts for a shameful day; for you, in case you are that oblivious now that you have capitulated to the dark side).

(Oh, and for any of his minions out there trolling, I fully entreat you to bubble this up to your stubborn, anxious overlord because he could do some real damage to the world, not just himself)

The negative, and 100 percent correct, comments for the Antisemitism in Schools discussion wasn't enough for you? Try to bury it all you want- the internet (and screenshots) are forever and people know. Not even when Secretary Cardona lamented the normalization of hating Jews, while you were awkwardly flaunting your poison band, tying you to the Nazi wifey, thus making you a perpetrator of this very normalization, did you not get the hint you are not welcomed in this space?

You know you can't have it both ways, right? You can't be the Political Avenger and also be "married" to a racist, antisemetic, fat-shaming, arrogant, selfish xenophob. Your balls aren't nearly strong enough to stratle that fence! Is this so much of a vanity project you are willing to forgo your "egoic narrative", wasting important people's precious time, who are trying to keep the ship we call democracy from sinking, while you look for a pat on the back for rearranging the deck chairs. You know, for someone who is very conscious of odors, you reek of rich white male Privlege. I can smell it through the Bluetooth connection and God does it stink! Didn't know being tone deaf also made you nose blind 🤷‍♀️.

Are you really going to tackle the big problems that young voters care, or should care, about head on? Are young voters even going to pay attention to what you have to offer? And who are you going to get to speak to your baby website, run by dilatants and clout chasers? I am sure you could get some blowhards like Rafael "Ted" Cruz, Matt "the Frat" Gaetz, and your old friend "Uncle" Tim Scott, but anyone with anything worth speaking to is not going to want to degrade themselves for liars like you. By the way, you may want to get used to the feeling, BDF, because if you don't make some MAJOR changes to your life soon, I sense this is how your dating life will be, too, once the divorce is finalized.

I hope your mama is still proud, because most everyone else is ashamed or embarrassed for you. You don't need to use the website as your personal barometer to tell you that.

PS- Don't make some corny joke tomorrow with the high schoolers about you being old. This isn't about you, and they weren't the ones who decided to "marry" someone 16 years their junior, who looks 26 years their junior and is sucking the life and soul out of you, making you look like you have aged about 10 years since the two kinda, sorta ceremonies. People Magazine's Most Pathetic Man of the Year! Yes, teach the young people how to make good decisions for their future, jackass!