#also for those of you playing along at home with a reference book for greek myth and wondering why Midas is a Sibling and not Asterion

[yloiseconeillants]

MAYNCIENT :: Day 9 - Family

All of the siblings (to date) and in order of birth:

Akakallis (works in Amaurot's court system)

Xenodike (a field agent for the words of Mitron)

Glaukos (researcher for Emmerololth)

Phaedra (mathematician)

and twins Midas (roustabout) and Ariadne (disaster)

Due to Various Circumstances (Akakallis sucks, Xenodike is never around, Glaukos is more of a hermit than even Ariadne, and Midas died in an accident), the only one of her siblings that Ariadne is in semi-regular contact with any more is Phaedra - who has very little patience for her antics at this point.

[lyloneliness]

Just a little analysis of this picture

I've seen a lot of ppl talk about the symbolism behind this official art and here are some of my explanations...

So first of all, this picture is about the Meursault arc as it's written at the bottom of the picture, under the table, if it wasnt clear enough with the parallelism between dazai and Fyodor who are sitting in a similar position on each side of the table in their prisoner outfits.

Nikolai

The scale at the middle top, as we can see, the crane on top is wearing a hat that resembles nikolai's, so I think this symbol is talking about him. Some are talking about anubis and making association with his legend : he weighs the heart of the dead and if it's heavier than feathers they're condemned to hell.

Personally I also see it like this : this scale is just what it is, something that measures the weight of things, and compares two elements. Here, it compares the weight of a heart and wings, which synbolizes emotions and freedom, the two things nikolai can't chose between, that's why none of the side is heavier than another : he can't chose between his freedom from God (which he wanna prove by doing what's contrary of his human feelings and kill fyodor) and his emotions toward his friend. Which is the reason the entire Meursault arc exist.

A guide through hell

The top left corner pictures a bow with two snakes rolled around it and wings at the tip, which is without a doubt Hermes's bow.

Hermes is a character of the Greek mythology who is, to make it short, a guide to hell. We've already seen some references to hell in Meursault, as it's really well explained in this post.

In the events that happen in this arc, the positions as a role and the relations between the characters change a lot, but the one that brought them all in this hell of a situation, is without a doubt nikolai, who is symbolized just next to the Hermes bow, and who is not participating in the game since he's the one who organized it. Just like Hermes, he guided them to hell and then disapeared. (Even though I think it won't be that long until he plays a role since one of his players is seemingly dead (at least pretends to be) which means he'll give the antidote to Fyodor if he stays true to the rules he set).

Roaming

Let's continue on Greek mythology with the top right corner, which pictures a crown along with a sword, which are accompanied by olives and a blue mountain. The only character it reminds me of is Ulysses, who is a Greek sovereign who's condemned to roam endlessly and never come home after he committed the crime of killing a cyclopean, Poseidon's son.

I don't really know what to do of this. Maybe it's about nikolai's past before his encounter with Fyodor, maybe it's just about the characters endlessly fighting to win the game and get out of Meursault (here hell), or ... Well I don't know if someone has an idea you can add it below or tell me in ashtags (つㅅ･`)･゜

(Here's another explanation for this symbole)

Dazai and fyodor

So, there are a lot of books around those two characters. I think it symbolizes all of their knowledge since we know they have a loooot of that, and all their rambling and games before the game started was only to gauge each other's beliefs, knowledge, capacities and so on, as well as guessing the other way to communicate with the outside world. These books can also symbolize dazai and fyodor's former battles and interraction, which they are using to communicate without being understood by the guards in the prison, and which they obviously used to win the battle ongoing.

We can see Fyodor writing something, when dazai is just there with his book closed, like he already read it and is just waiting for something to happen, like his pose might tell. For now, Fyodor is the only of the two who've made a real move. Let me explain...

They're both characters who think far more ahead as we know in terms of strategies. The drowning and elevator thing, and all that happened with sigma was just preparation, placing the pons. But the big difference between dazai and Fyodor is that dazai considers his allies human when Fyodor is just using them as tools. We saw it with how the two interact with chuuya and sigma.

It might be the reason why he's not writing and just looking at his allies' next move, when in contrary Fyodor is writing his scenario and deciding what will everyone do. Fyodor manipulates them like pons while taking all that he knows of them into account... including dazai.

This made birth of a new theory on fyodor and dazai's plans for the meursault arc so that'll be all for that post, I'm gonna write the next one before I forget x)

Thanks for reading and don't hesitate to tell your thoughts, I'm still far from the truth I think so I can't wait to read y'all ideas on this

See ya 😽

[killerbananas]

Fandom: Attack on Titan

Genres: pwp, au! dark romance, adventure/drama

Summary: Experience a few sinful epochs of your own by playing around with the oft foolish gods as an immortal devil, or as you've referred to yourself as, just another hungry soul.

Warnings: adult themes/dark content, non-human/immortal!au! allusions in the usual sensual greek fashion, shifted magic forms (eg tentacles, minotaur, etc. alluded). All series contain adult content [[SMUT]] not suitable for minors. Specific warnings precede each chapter.

Author's Note: Hello, curious reader! Here, you will find yourself depicted as a darker kin to Eros, not unlike a succubus/incubus. As an immortal, you are not particularly tied to a gender or the same genitalia every reincarnation (though, most will likely be AFAB-reader). Each book will include sexual interactions with different AOT characters as Greek gods and goddesses (a list is available at the very bottom if you are interested). This is a work in progress, so things are of course, subject to change.

These chapters will be posted slowly as I write them because it takes time to get these where I want. I have daydreamed so much about this alternate universe that I've managed to furrow my ass into more than one rabbit hole with ideas. Therefore, we get a few series/books :)

Universe Summary: Come along on an adventure into the twisted beauty of life and death as a divinely hedonistic devil causing mischievous mayhem and thieving pleasure wherever you deem fit in your ravenous hunger for carnalities that bring Gods and Goddesses alike to their knees. You are not a mad deity per se, but you do find that walking the line between violent, vengeful rage and sensual celebration of wicked decadence becomes murkier the longer you play through the dramatic influence of the other immortals you encounter.

Life was easier in the Dark, but perhaps these experiences will bode well for your own development of burgeoning strength you wish to better during each new recycling of your soul. You may eventually find that it becomes easier to grasp and interpret the anguished and impassioned interactions of those around you as their memories and yet more pervade your dreams in the aftermath of your less than innocent feedings. Such is the burden of one afflicted with the divine desire to devour, as it breeds a collective knowledge and empathic understanding of all the darkest corners of the Gods’ hearts that only grows deeper and more complex as their most intimate futures, thoughts, and recollections take root in the pit of your soul.

Born of a tragic love between a lost God and the Goddess of the Night, your soul embodies not only the array of emotions that cacophonously thundered the heavens during the bloodshed of your birth as your progenitor was torn to shreds by his most devoted followers in the name of devotion to his love, but also the amorously diverse wishes of your dark mother as she braided and plucked from her scalp the plaited strands that were mixed in the gestating ambrosia that had allowed your form to coalesce in your forebearer.

While life in these times of development is often hellish and hard to navigate, there is the euphoric serenity and satiation of sensual pleasures that help rebalance the scales of enjoyment. Poseidon’s bold tentacles can touch places inside you like no other. Hades’ garden visit to seduce you in the moonlight has you welcoming him into your home for a late night feeding. A little jealousy goes far in the gambit to bring Zeus to your willful fantasies, but you also find libidinous revelry in the way his wife tongues sonnets at your apex.

In a world full of powerful, magical immortals and primal, debauched monsters, you find a cathartic balance of the warring needs that plague you, earning your rightful mantle as progeny of bloodthirsty begetters, deities of Ecstasy and Dark Night.

Book 1: Dionysian Rebirth

The main series of one-shots. Prologue aside, primarily smut without plot.

Status: ongoing

Epoch 0: Beginning [Nyx x Dionysus; 516 wc]: How you were concocted.

Epoch 1: Fondness [Erwin/Hades x reader; 3,448 wc]: After allowing his gaze to haunt you, Hades finds himself equally bewitched by your magics.

Epoch 2: Purpose [Porco/Triton x reader; 1,018 wc draft]: Triton believes himself knowledgeable enough to know how to simmer the fire in your soul. He wants you to take his heavy clutch of eggs.

Epoch 3: Revelation [Miche/Apollo x reader]

Epoch 4: TBD [Zeke/Hermes x reader]

Book 2: What We Do On The Big Ass Island

Series Summary: Crack! mockumentary of a bunch of immortal youths competing for something grand. They may be just shy of two centuries old on average, but these gifted people know how to tear shit up. Honestly, if these interviewers don't get their act together, you'll happily do it for them. Fuck the tranquilizers. Let's find out why you're here and who is blessed with your very irate and aroused company.

[This series was inspired by What We Do in the Shadows in title and trope, and while there may be some easter eggs from the show, it's not really related. This is kind of a stress relief project for me. Don't take it too seriously.]

Status: ongoing

Pairings: afab!reader x multiple; Levi x Miche x Erwin x Hange polycule; polycule x reader

Chapter 1: Baby's First Interview [418 wc]: You are interviewed by another species that thinks it’s ok to push your buttons until you assert yourself. Unfortunately, a power dampening dart also diminishes your irate drive for revenge by knocking your ass out.

Chapter 2: Brick Shithouse [933 wc]: Finally, some new blood. You wake up to find Erwin outside.

Chapter 3: Flirting with The Sin of The Sun [1.2k wc]: An interview reveals a titch of information, but a warm wake-up call might make up for it with better evening plans.

Chapter 4: Lyre, Liar, Bonfire [4.1k wc]: The war council quartet gets interviewed to various success. Eventually, campfire revelry breeds bonds of kinship.

Book 3: Ouroboros

While Dionysian Rebirth is smut first, this series is what I would constitute as the main plot if I could. I've vaguely conceptualized it as reader being a warrior for (see Robinhood meets Lost Girl?) the people. While every other group of people on the planet at this ancient time is ruled by those greedy on power, you value personal freedom and logic above the brutal enslavement of those around you. As you encounter various individuals on your adventure to peace, you may find your path full of new growth rather than the stain of bloodshed that has nourished you to this point.

I want to dig into the lore with how the power of the titans came to be, how this translated into wars and events that devastated the planet, shaped people. I have the idea of doing this through a timeline progression through ages that was inspired by 2001 A Space Odyssey and the symbolism in this quote:

"...the Ouroboros, the snake that eats its own tail... has been said to have a meaning of infinity or wholeness. In the age-old image of the Ouroboros lies the thought of devouring oneself and turning oneself into a circulatory process, for it was clear to the more astute alchemists that the prima materia of the art was man himself. The Ouroboros is a dramatic symbol for the integration and assimilation of the opposite, i.e. of the shadow. This 'feedback' process is at the same time a symbol of immortality since it is said of the Ouroboros that he slays himself and brings himself to life, fertilizes himself, and gives birth to himself. He symbolizes the One, who proceeds from the clash of opposites, and he, therefore, constitutes the secret of the prima materia which ... unquestionably stems from man's unconscious."

Status: daydreaming

Book 4: Elysian Wonder

A play on Alice in Wonderland within the DR universe. Meant to highlight titanism in particular (read: monsterfucking). Perhaps as a three part series.

Status: daydreaming

Book 5: Aphrodisiac Mischief

To pass the time in your long life, you decide to open up a shop specializing in a wide variety of trinkets and oddities, but your private customers come to you for another treasure you personally curate: aphrodisiacs!

Status: daydreaming?

Book 6: Infinite Loop

Jealousy incurs the debt of a curse placed on you to be reborn in a new universe after every death with patchy memories at best. Adjusting can be a bit of a bitch, but adventures and spoils are to be had as you find your foes and companions in each rebirth. (e.g., pirates/mermaids, apocalypse, c r o s s o v e r s.)

Status: daydreaming

Featuring:

Erwin – Hades

Porco – Triton

Eren – Zeus

Mikasa – Hera

Jean – Eros

Connie – Pan

Bertholdt – Hephaestus

Reiner – Proteus

Annie – Athena

Zeke – Hermes

Levi – Ares

Ymir – Hedone

Historia – Aphrodite

Hange – Artemis

Sasha – Hestia

Armin – Poseidon

Pieck – Hecate

Marcel – Laestrygon

Kenny – Charon

[bevioletskies]

spare me a little (of your love)

summary: Klavier always liked to express his love with flowers, so sending a beautiful bouquet to his boyfriend every now and then seemed like the obvious thing to do. However, there’s just one little problem - Apollo is very, very allergic to pollen.

word count: 5.3k | read on ao3

a/n: For @klapollo-week, day two of seven (prompt: "flowers"). All seven of my fics take place in the same continuity! However, each can be read as a stand-alone, with the exception of day seven being a sequel to day five.

This fic takes place at some distant point in time after Spirit of Justice where Apollo and Trucy have learned that they’re siblings, but doesn’t reference any specific plotlines otherwise. My source for flower meanings can be found here. Fic title is from the song Spare Me a Little of Your Love by Fleetwood Mac.

“The language of...flowers?”

“Oui, oui, mon ami!” Athena chirped, nodding eagerly. “That’s just one of the many languages I speak, y’know.”

Apollo eyed her skeptically over the top of his laptop screen. “...right. Elaborate, please.”

“Well, you know how people usually give roses to express their love?” Athena said, leaning across the gap between their desks. She didn’t even blink when she accidentally knocked over Apollo’s calendar and pen holder in one fell swoop. Apollo, on the other hand, shot her an affronted glance that she deftly ignored. “Well, each flower actually has its own specific meaning. It even varies from color to color! Par exemple, white roses symbolize innocence, while yellow roses symbolize friendship.”

“That seems unnecessarily complicated,” Apollo remarked. “Don’t most flowers come with a card? Why can’t people just write their messages instead?”

They turned at the sound of a disappointed groan coming from the middle of the room. “You’re so unromantic, Polly,” Trucy complained, peeking at them from over the back of the couch. “I almost feel bad for Mr. Gavin!”

“Hey,” Apollo protested. “I can be - I-I’m romantic!”

“If you say so,” Athena giggled, poking him in the shoulder. Huffing, Apollo prodded her back. Athena reached for a rubber band, fully intending to escalate things. She lowered her projectile dejectedly when Apollo raised his hands in surrender; he had no interest in losing an eye today.

“Sunflowers and tulips are supposed to symbolize happiness, right?” Phoenix asked. “Those are pretty much the only flowers I really know, so.”

There was a long, uncomfortably drawn-out silence. “...Daddy, your ex-girlfriend’s name was Dahlia. Her real name was - is - Iris.”

“Oh...right,” Phoenix chuckled, only mildly embarrassed. “Speaking of, do you know what dahlias and irises mean, Athena?”

Athena’s eyes were practically sparkling now. “Oui! Dahlias symbolize elegance and dignity.” Phoenix made a face. “...but, they also symbolize dishonesty and betrayal.”

“That’s more like it,” Phoenix muttered under his breath. “And irises?”

“Faith, wisdom, that kinda thing,” Athena shrugged. She then paused. “Y’know, if you want some ideas on the kinds of flowers Mr. Edgeworth would like, I can make some - ”

“Nope, nope, I-I’m good,” Phoenix interrupted swiftly, his face reddening. He had a vase of daffodils sitting on his desk, which Edgeworth had sent to the office a few days ago. None of them believed Phoenix when he claimed they were purely intended for decoration. “So why the sudden interest in flowers, Apollo? Is this, er...is this about Gavin?”

“If you’re not talking about your prosecutor, sir, I’m not talking about mine,” Apollo said firmly, turning back to his laptop.

“Sure, except I think your prosecutor’s fair game when he picks you up from work most days,” Phoenix teased. His tone was eerily similar to Trucy’s. If Phoenix wasn’t both his boss and his sort-of stepfather, Apollo would’ve picked up a rubber band himself.

A few hours later, Apollo was locking up the office for the evening when he heard the roar of a familiar-sounding motorcycle coming up the street. He turned, biting back a smile as Klavier pulled up beside the sidewalk and turned off his engine. “Your bike really is as obnoxious as you are.”

Klavier removed his helmet, pouting. “Achtung, is that any way to greet your boyfriend?”

“It is for me,” Apollo replied, kissing him briefly. “Hi.”

“Hallo,” Klavier murmured against Apollo’s lips, grinning as he pulled away. “Dinner?”

“Yes, please,” Apollo said, reaching for Klavier’s spare helmet. “I’m feeling...pizza and all the cheesy garlic breadsticks. Or maybe we can just get cheesy garlic breadsticks.”

“As nice as that sounds, you need more vegetables than the little bits you get in your cup noodles, baby,” Klavier said, patting Apollo’s hip affectionately. “Pizza, breadsticks, and a side salad, ja?”

“Fine, fine,” Apollo grumbled, settling in behind Klavier. “Turn me into a rabbit, why don’t you? Buy me a bag of carrot sticks the next time we go to the grocery store. Stuff my mattress with straw and newspaper - ”

“And people think I’m the dramatic one,” Klavier lamented, shaking his head in amusement.

It wasn’t long before the two of them were sitting on the floor of Klavier’s living room, pleasantly stuffed with pizza and breadsticks and a mediocre amount of Greek salad (“I’m not a fan of olives, you know.” “Not surprising, since the color doesn’t work with your complexion.” “Klavier, I swear to - ”). A random made-for-TV movie was playing in the background on mute, though neither of them were particularly interested in watching it.

“How was work?” Apollo asked, taking a much-needed gulp of cold water. He wasn’t sure if he was ever going to get the taste of garlic out of his mouth.

“Boring, unfortunately,” Klavier said with a grimace. “Herr Edgeworth didn’t have anything but paperwork to offer me. No trials, no investigations, nichts. You?”

“Same,” Apollo replied. “Mr. Wright’s mostly working with Athena this month, so they’re taking the big clients while I get stuck with the smaller cases. Not that I’m complaining, I mean - it’s a nice change from Khura’in. I don’t want every trial to feel like I’m going under, you know?”

“Nein, that would be terrible,” Klavier agreed. “Exciting, sure, but the stress wouldn’t be worth it. I already found a gray hair the other day, ach.”

Apollo snorted. “Just one? You should see mine - I’m gonna be completely gray by thirty-five at this rate.” He shuffled closer so he could snuggle up against Klavier’s side, letting his head drop to Klavier’s shoulder. “So...turns out, Athena knows all about the flower language thing. Figured she might.”

“Flower...language...thing?” Klavier echoed, confused. He then brightened. “Ah! From our video call with my mama the other day, ja? I didn’t know you were actually interested.”

“I wasn’t, not at first,” Apollo admitted, squeezing Klavier’s arm. “But...I want your parents to like me, and since she said she was taking an interest, I thought, y’know, why not look into it? And it sounds kinda...contrived, not gonna lie. But I guess it’s kinda sweet, too. Like a secret language between just two people.”

Klavier’s face softened. “Ja, exactly. My parents used to write love letters to each other when they were in school, so I think this is Mama’s way of starting a new tradition - buying Papa flowers so he can plant them in his garden. You should see our family estate in the summer, it’s absolutely stunning.”

“Sounds like it,” Apollo said, smiling. “Your parents’ lives sound so...peaceful. Baking, gardening, travelling...I know it’s a little early to start thinking about retirement, but still, they’re living the dream.”

“They’re not retired yet,” Klavier chuckled. “And stop making me feel like I’m dating an old man, bitte. You complaining about your back makes me feel like I have to start complaining about my back.”

Apollo hummed, tracing random patterns along Klavier’s forearm with his finger. He was pleasantly sleepy from a number of things - his long, if uneventful day of work, the amount of cheese and carbs he’d just consumed, and the warmth of Klavier’s skin against his. “Sorry we can’t all afford chiropractors and massage therapists, sheesh,” he teased, unable to hold back a yawn.

“Maybe we can get a massage together someday,” Klavier suggested, stretching luxuriously. “Ah, before I forget - since we were talking about my parents just now, they asked me the other day if it would be alright to text you and send you things, little gifts and whatnot.”

“Huh? They would do that?” Apollo exclaimed. “I only just met them, like, a week ago!”

“They’re a bit...much,” Klavier said carefully. “Even when I was in high school, every friend I brought home was a potential lover to them, you know? They wanted to know everything about them, to shower them with gifts and affection. Even when I started working, I would ask Papa if I could have some flowers from his garden - you know, an arrangement to thank Herr Edgeworth for giving me a raise, a bouquet for my manager when we got our first record deal - and it was always the same story. Achtung, it’s embarrassing, but they mean well. You don’t have to say ja if you don’t want to, I just thought I’d ask.”

“No, I - it’s okay, I’d love to get to know your parents more, I’m just surprised,” Apollo admitted. The thought of them liking him this easily made him both relieved and unnerved at the same time. “Should I, uh, get them something in return?”

“Nein, nein, let them spoil you.” Klavier cupped Apollo’s face in his hands, kissing him softly. “Just like I do.”

“Sap,” Apollo murmured, kissing him back.

_____

It was a sort of gradual thing, for the most part. Barely a day had gone by when Apollo found himself in a group text with Klavier’s parents; he quickly discovered how witty and sweet and whip-smart they both were. Klavier’s father sent gorgeous photos of his garden - and calling it a garden seemed almost too modest when it seemed to be the size of a soccer field - while Klavier’s mother sent book recommendations, even the occasional movie recommendation.

“I never thought I’d be at that point in my life where my boyfriend’s mother sends me three long paragraphs about how she ‘discovered’ the Legally Blonde musical, but here we are,” Apollo had mused to the other agency members.

“Did you tell her that Klavier reminds everyone of that song, the one that goes - ”

“No, Athena, I did not. I want her to like me, remember?”

Soon after that, gifts started to arrive. Apollo had requested they send them to the agency, given how little he trusted his apartment building’s security after they nearly let his cat escape not too long ago. Unfortunately, it was too late before he realized that sometimes, he trusted his co-workers - or more specifically, his sister - even less.

“Trucy, do you know who ate the last piece of pie? Y’know, the one I was saving for today, to celebrate the end of my trial?”

“...huh. No idea, sorry, Polly!”

“Wait - th-there’s graham crumbs on Mr. Hat, what the hell - ”

His sister’s betrayal aside, Apollo felt good about things, almost unusually good. He soon started texting Klavier’s parents just as frequently as he did his own mother, thanking them for their generosity whenever they sent the occasional box of pastries or discounted event tickets. They also exchanged anecdotes about Klavier, along with stories about their own lives. He even received celebratory emojis whenever he told them about his victories in court - over their son, no less.

“I’m starting to think they like you more than they like me,” Klavier had lamented, though he seemed pleased all the same.

Then, a month into their budding familial relationship, a problem arrived on Apollo’s desk in the form of a bouquet the size of his head.

“Ah-choo!”

Trucy and Athena, who had been standing by the latter’s desk, both startled at the sound. “Ay Dios mío!” Athena exclaimed, clutching her heart in shock. “Are you okay, Apollo? That was some sneeze. I thought we were having another earthquake!”

“Har, har,” Apollo said dryly, reaching for a tissue. “It’s just the - achoo - flowers, that’s all.”

“They’re beautiful - very classic,” Athena added, dropping into Apollo’s desk chair so she could get a closer look. “Red roses and white lilies, claro. Ooh, I see some red carnations and white chrysanthemums, too!”

“Well, I see a card,” Trucy said, plucking a small white notecard from between the leaves. “Let’s see what it says!”

“That’s for - achoo - me, thank you very much.” Apollo snatched the card out of her hands, then squinted through his watery eyes to read it. “I...oh. Klavier says his mom helped him make the arrangement, with flowers from his dad’s garden.”

“How sweet!” Trucy gushed, taking a moment to sniff them, inhaling deeply as her eyes drifted closed. “Ooh, and they smell amazing. Mr. Gavin is such a good - ”

“Ah-choo!” Apollo sniffled, wiping his nose carefully. “...dammit.”

“I didn’t know you were allergic to pollen, Apollo,” Phoenix commented; he was on the other side of the room, pouring himself a cup of tea. “You never had any problems with the flowers Edgeworth sent to m - I mean, to the office.”

“Maybe it’s a freshly-cut thing?” Athena guessed, ignoring Phoenix’s awkward laugh. “Or, y’know, some flowers are worse for allergies than others. Dahlias, for example, are the worst.” Phoenix made another face before turning back to what he was doing.

“You should tell him you’re allergic,” Trucy said, patting Apollo’s free hand in sympathy. “I’m sure he’d understand.”

“But…” Apollo hesitated. The others braced themselves, anticipating another sneeze. “...this is from Klavier and his parents, you know? I can put up with a sneeze or two if it makes them happy. He loves sending flowers, and his dad’s really into gardening, so...if I tell them, they’ll stop doing it, and they’ll be too understanding, and I - I can’t deal with that. The, uh, the niceness, I mean.”

“Poor you, having the sweetest in-laws in the world,” Athena teased, pouting exaggeratedly. Oh, the humanity, Widget added. Apollo would have glared at them both, had he not started sneezing again. “Como tú quieras, I guess.”

Hours later, when Klavier met Apollo at the agency, the sight of his face brightening when he saw the bouquet confirmed Apollo’s fears. “Ah, how wunderschön,” Klavier declared, beaming. “I was worried they wouldn’t hold up during delivery. Do you like them, liebe?”

“They’re beautiful,” Apollo said, as honest as he could be. “Thanks, Klavier. I, uh, I hope it didn’t take you too long to put together.”

“You know how picky I can be,” Klavier hummed, carefully drawing a carnation out of the vase between two practiced fingers and bringing it up to his nose to smell. “I don’t settle for anything less than perfekt.” He turned, smirking. “That’s why I’m dating you, after all.”

“Gross,” Apollo said, wrinkling his nose; the effect was ruined by his affectionate laughter. “Hey, is it okay if I press them after they’ve wilted? I was thinking I could keep ‘em in my journal as a nice little reminder.”

Klavier chuckled, reaching over to squeeze Apollo’s hand. “Of course, Forehead. They’re all yours, you don’t have to ask for my permission. And I’m sure Mama and Papa would be delighted to hear you’re planning to give Papa’s flowers a second life. We’ll have to send you more in the future, ja?”

“...ja,” Apollo said weakly, his heart sinking.

_____

The next bouquet arrived two weeks later, bigger and bolder than before. According to Athena, it consisted of pink and orange roses, pink lilies, and yellow alstroemeria. However, it seemed to be the handful of sunflowers that topped everything off that left Apollo’s nose running all day.

“I think the only sunflower I can stand to be around is my attorney’s badge,” Apollo had bemoaned.

After that came an arrangement of white daisies, red gerbera, and white limonium (or, as Trucy liked to call it - she liked practicing tongue twisters when she was bored - “linoleum”). Then green hydrangeas and Queen Anne’s lace, which admittedly wasn't so bad, followed by purple daisies and pink gerbera, which was very, very bad. Apollo did not like the fact that he was getting used to the taste of Benadryl. He did manage to get some reprieve when Klavier sent him a simple vase of pink peonies.

“They’re hypoallergenic,” Athena had informed him. “But...mein Gott, Apollo, just tell him already!”

“But if I do, i-it’s…” Apollo had gestured wildly, unable to find the right words. Athena and Trucy had exchanged glances, then shook their heads in eerily synchronized disappointment.

Pink carnations and pink alstroemeria, purple irises and white aster, yellow daisies and orange roses; Apollo was starting to think the Gavin family garden was endless. And while his journal had never looked prettier, every page decorated with carefully pressed petals, every other page detailed with a date and a description courtesy of Athena’s expertise, his nose had never looked worse, his skin pink and dry and irritated. He was getting too used to the smell of CeraVe as well.

Finally, a bouquet of red roses - thankfully, also hypoallergenic - arrived with Klavier himself. He seemed delighted to be at the agency while everyone else was present for once, chatting happily with Athena and marvelling at Trucy’s card tricks. He and Phoenix seemed awkward around each other, though Apollo supposed that was to be expected. Even now, they hesitated whenever Apollo brought the other one up.

“So what’re you doing here, Mr. Gavin?” Trucy asked after she’d successfully duped him three times in a row. Apollo had to stop her before she started charging him for it. “Is it date night?”

“Not exactly,” Klavier said, turning to Apollo. “I came here to ask you something in person, liebe.”

Apollo raised an eyebrow. “Well, that’s not suspicious at all. What’s up?”

“I think it’s about time you meet my parents in person.” Klavier took both of Apollo’s hands in his, smiling hopefully. “So, if you’re ready...are you free this weekend? We could go to my family estate, spend the day - Mama would love to teach you how to make those puff pastries you like, and Papa wants to show you around the garden so you can see where all your wunderschön flowers came from.”

“I...oh.” Apollo’s face fell for a split second before he quickly regained his composure. “Sorry, Klav, that sounds incredible, but I-I was gonna stay with Mom this weekend. Maybe another time?”

“Natürlich,” Klavier replied, still smiling. While his smiles usually made Apollo feel warm and fuzzy, now all he was feeling was gnawing guilt. “Let me know when you have a free weekend, ja?”

“For sure,” Apollo promised, pecking him briefly on the cheek. “And thanks for the roses, even though I, uh, kinda ruined the occasion.”

“Ruined?” Klavier repeated, chuckling. “Ach, it’s no big deal, you’re busy. We have time, don’t we?”

“Of course!” Apollo exclaimed, far too loudly. Klavier didn’t seem to mind, though; he leaned down to kiss Apollo properly, humming all the while.

“Anyway, I should get going before Herr Edgeworth notices I’m not in my office,” Klavier said, reluctantly pulling away. The look on Phoenix's face suggested he knew that Edgeworth had figured it out long ago. “Auf Wiedersehen, süßer!”

The second Klavier left, Apollo let out the breath he’d been holding. He didn’t even need to look up to know the others were staring at him very judgmentally. “...I don’t wanna hear it.”

“You really shouldn’t lie to your boyfriend, Apollo,” Phoenix said gently; his voice had taken on the sort of “dad” tone that made Apollo feel even guiltier. “Er, that is, you shouldn’t lie to anyone, but you know what I mean. Are you really protecting his feelings by doing this?”

Sighing, Apollo collapsed into his desk chair, dropping his forehead to his desk with an audible thunk. “I know, I know. It was stupid from the start, but...I-I honestly wasn’t expecting him to send this many! I thought it’d be, y’know, for special occasions only, like every few months or whatever. Then I could deal with it, and he would never have to know. Not, like, just ‘cos he felt like it. Though I guess I really should’ve seen it coming, knowing him.”

“You really gotta tell him,” Trucy insisted. “Next time you see him, okay? Or else you’re never gonna say anything!”

“I will, I swear,” Apollo insisted, combing his fingers through his hair. He could feel more grays coming in by the second. “I have no interest in being the worst boyfriend ever, believe me.”

_____

It didn’t take long for Apollo to realize that while he was perfectly fine - or, at least, reasonably fine - with confrontation in the courtroom, he was very much not fine with confrontation in his personal life. The flower arrangements came less frequently now, and when they did, they seemed to be exclusively hypoallergenic. Klavier’s invitations, on the other hand, seemed more persistent.

“I don’t mean to push,” Klavier would say. “It’s just that exam week is coming up and, being professors and all, they’re going to be very busy soon. I was hoping we’d be able to spend some time with them before then.”

“Yeah, o-of course,” Apollo would reply, his stomach twisting every time, knowing full well he was about to turn him down again.

Another weekend went by, then another. There always seemed to be something, whether it was Apollo’s sudden frequent visits to Thalassa’s, Trucy’s sudden need for a magic show assistant, or that Apollo was just too tired to be good company. Eventually, Klavier seemed to simply stop asking. In fact, he seemed to stop asking him about anything at all.

“Do you wanna grab lunch?” Apollo had once asked Klavier while they were both packing up after the end of a lengthy trial.

“I don’t know.” Klavier had sounded tired, subdued; he refused to look Apollo in the eyes. “I think I’m just going to head back to the office and catch up on my emails. Take care, Herr Forehead.” He’d quickly swept out of the courtroom before Apollo could even say goodbye.

Apollo’s group text with his parents seemed to slow down, too, especially when it came to Klavier’s papa’s photos of his garden. Klavier’s mama, on the other hand, sent him short, stilted messages, now seemingly out of obligation instead of affection. Their near-radio silence, Apollo had to admit, was well-deserved. He knew he had to do something before it was too late, if it wasn’t already too late.

“I was surprised you wanted me to join you today,” Klavier said one morning as the two of them were taking a leisurely stroll around People Park, hand-in-hand. “Lately, I feel like I’ve been dating a ghost, achtung. We only ever see each other in court. Maybe at crime scenes, too, if we’re lucky.”

“And I’m surprised you agreed to come,” Apollo admitted. “I missed you, Klavier. Only...I, uh, I know that’s really my fault, not yours.”

“You do, do you?” Klavier sounded bitter. His grip on Apollo’s hand was looser than usual, like he was ready to pull away at any second, like he wanted to run. The thought made Apollo’s chest ache. “And here, I thought you were as oblivious as ever.”

“Hey,” Apollo protested, frowning. Then, he sighed. “No, you - you’re right. This is on me. Will you - I - listen, I have something for you, back at the office. Can we go get it before you head to work?”

Klavier nodded shortly. While his eyes had softened, his smile was still strained. “Ja, let’s go.”

Thankfully, the agency was empty when they got there, save for a certain something sitting patiently on Apollo’s desk. He set his bag down, then turned on all the lights, his heart pounding rapidly against his ribcage. “So these aren’t as nice as your dad’s, but, uh. This is for you...and your parents.”

“What do you - ah!” Klavier approached Apollo’s desk with wide, disbelieving eyes, his gaze fixated on the beautiful arrangement of white lilies, yellow tulips, and white orchids wrapped in white decorative tissue paper. “Apollo, these are...they’re lovely! Did you pick these out yourself?”

“Athena helped,” Apollo said, hovering nervously. “She said white lilies are for humility, yellow tulips can mean forgiveness, and white orchids symbolize strength. Fitting, since I wanted to...apologize. For being a horrible boyfriend.”

“I don’t know about ‘horrible’,” Klavier said, gently running a finger down the length of one of the orchids. “...but you have been distant. If you’re not actually interested in meeting my parents, or if you...if you want to end things, just say so, will you?” His voice cracked. “I might like a bit of drama every now and then, but not in my own life. Not in my own relationship.”

“What?! No, no, I-I don’t wanna end things at all!” Apollo exclaimed, his voice filling the room. He took a few deep, even breaths to calm himself. “Just...will you hear me out? Please?” Klavier nodded, though he refused to look at him. “I’m...I’m sorry for avoiding you and your parents. And before you ask...yes. I was doing it on purpose. It’s nothing that - none of you did anything wrong, okay? It’s me, i-it’s - it - I - ah - ”

Klavier turned on his heel, worried. “Apollo? Are you - ”

“Ah-choo!”

Klavier jumped. “Ach - Apollo?”

“I forgot there were asters in there,” Apollo grumbled, reaching for a tissue. He wasn’t sure which was redder now, his nose or his cheeks. “It’s - I - achoo - ”

“Apollo,” Klavier said slowly; if Apollo didn’t know any better, he would've thought he was trying not to laugh. “Are you, by chance...allergic to pollen?”

Apollo sniffed sharply. “...yes, dammit, yes! That’s literally what I’ve been trying to say - achoo - just now, until - achoo - my sinuses decided to - achoo - speak for me!” He was half-doubled over at this point, clenching a fistful of tissues in both hands.

“Baby, have you been rejecting my invitation to meet my parents because you’re allergic to all the flowers we’ve been sending you for the last several weeks?” Klavier sounded more incredulous than angry.

“...yes. Yes, I have, yes, I’m an idiot and an asshole and - achoo - I’m so sorry, Klavier, I - achoo - ”

“Bitte, say it, don’t spray it.” Klavier held up Apollo’s tissue box for him, keeping it - and Apollo himself - at a good distance. “Mein Gott, Apollo, I thought you wanted to break up with me! Why didn’t you say anything earlier?!”

It took another minute or so before Apollo finally stopped sneezing long enough to get a full sentence out. He sniffled again, wiping his nose completely clean. “...have you ever told, like, the tiniest lie to make someone happy, only for it to turn into a big...thing? And then you know you have to come clean, that it’s what you’re s’posed to do, but the thought of doing it makes you anxious, even if not doing it also makes you anxious, and then...it just...it, uh, it stays with you.” He swallowed thickly, shaking his head. “Not that that’s an excuse, it’s just - that’s just what happened. I’m sorry, Klavier, I really am. I really do want to meet your parents, they’re so sweet and friendly a-and funny, I’m just...I’m bad at this. Really, really bad at this.”

Klavier sighed. Apollo held his breath, anticipating the worst. Then, Klavier wrapped him in his arms, letting out another sigh of relief. “I understand, liebe, and...I forgive you. Danke for explaining yourself.” He kissed the top of Apollo’s head. “Maybe we should’ve stuck to sending you pies, ja?”

Apollo laughed wetly. “I don’t know how you’re joking right now. That’s usually my job.” He lifted his head from Klavier’s chest to look up at him with a grateful smile. “I really did love the flowers, you know. When they weren’t attacking my respiratory system, that is.”

“Still, let’s not push it any further,” Klavier said wryly. “Now - two things, if you don’t mind. First, let me give you some moisturizer for your poor, poor nose. I’m not kissing you until I’m sure your skin won’t flake off in the process.”

“Ew, thanks for the gross visual,” Apollo grimaced. “And the second thing?”

Klavier smiled. “If you're alright with it, I’d like you to tell my parents what happened...in person.”

_____

The garden was just as beautiful as Apollo imagined it to be, given the dozens and dozens of photos he’d gotten from Klavier’s papa. It was full and lush and vibrant, with towering trees that provided ample shade, a beautiful gazebo with a built-in fireplace, a gorgeous two-tiered fish pond, and of course, a plethora of flowers, as far as they could see. Everything was especially beautiful, in Apollo’s opinion, from the relative safety of the conservatory.

“We’re not throwing you to the wolves, darling,” Klavier’s mama insisted, as if she were talking about actual wild animals and not her husband’s hobby. “We’ll stay in here for high tea so you can admire the garden at a safe distance, yes?”

“Yes, th-thank you,” Apollo stammered, relieved. “High tea?”

“Today’s menu is German chocolate scones and mini-sandwiches. With the crusts cut off for my fussy baby boy, of course,” she added, pinching Klavier’s cheek with a devious grin.

“Mama,” Klavier protested, embarrassed. His papa chuckled, settling into the chair across from his son; he still had a smudge of dirt on his nose. “I’m a grown man, achtung. I have my own health insurance and everything!”

“I really am sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Gavin,” Apollo said sincerely. Despite their kindness and generosity, he was still somewhat intimidated by them, by how tall and beautiful and well-spoken they were. As much as he didn’t want to think about his former boss, Apollo could see where he and Klavier got their good looks and charm from. “I wanted to make a good impression, but I, uh, I didn’t go about it the right way. I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while now, but...I kept it from happening for a dumb reason, and it led to me hurting your feelings and Klavier’s feelings. I’m sorry.”

“All is forgiven,” Klavier’s papa insisted, waving a hand. “Just promise you’ll stop by every now and then, alright? Our doors are open to you, Apollo. Consider us your parents, too, if you’d like.”

Apollo smiled softly. “I would, sir.”

“It’ll be a good, allergy-free time, I promise,” he continued with a teasing wink. “We’ll bake some bread, watch some home movies...are you interested in seeing - ach, what do the kids call it - Klavier’s ‘goth phase’?”

Apollo’s mouth dropped open. “...his what.”

“Papa, nein,” Klavier whined; he really did sound like a child now. “Maybe it was a mistake to bring you here, liebling.”

“Oh, I disagree,” Apollo said, his grin widening. “I would love to see Klavier’s goth phase. Did he dye his hair?”

“Oh, did he,” Klavier’s mama said slyly with the exasperated sigh of a parent who had dealt with too much. “It’s a miracle he managed to get back to blond at all.” She then got to her feet, smoothing out the front of her apron. “Anyway, Papa and I should go check on the scones now. You two sit tight, okay?” Before Apollo could blink, she’d dropped kisses on both his and Klavier’s foreheads, then disappeared down the hallway and into the kitchen, her husband in tow. He turned to look at Klavier, who was watching him nervously.

“I love them,” Apollo admitted. “They’re so sweet, Klav, they - stop looking at me like that, will you?”

“You can’t blame me for worrying,” Klavier said, kissing him briefly. “But I’m glad to hear it. Ich liebe dich, schatz.”

“Love you too, dork,” Apollo murmured against Klavier’s lips. “...so. Did you have a lip ring, or snake bites, or - ”

“Get out of my house,” Klavier huffed, pinching Apollo’s arm with an exaggerated pout.

“Hey! This isn’t your house, it’s your parents’ house, and they said their doors were open,” Apollo teased, laughing. Rolling his eyes, Klavier pulled Apollo into his arms, the two of them snuggled up on the loveseat. In the distance, they could see birds and butterflies fluttering among the flowers, a stray squirrel or two sniffing curiously at the edge of the fish pond. It was peaceful, serene. If it wasn't for the pollen, Apollo could see himself staying outside for hours at a time. “...but seriously, I’m looking forward to the video evidence.”

“I’m sure you are,” Klavier sighed, giving Apollo one last kiss before his parents returned with a large tray of sandwiches, scones, tea, and a vase with a single red rose for decoration - hypoallergenic, of course.

_____

a/n: Welcome to my second entry for Klapollo Week 2021! Continuity-wise, this is the fourth of seven fics, but again, there is no need to read the others to follow each fic on its own. Today, I have projected my allergies and anxiety onto Apollo, because that's what fanfiction is for, right? I hope y'all like my version of the Gavins; I've written them as cold and distant a couple of times, but I usually prefer to write them as warm and witty so that Klavier has a good support system in his life.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Likes and reblogs would be much appreciated. Hoping you're all safe and healthy and doing well ❤️

[lamortexiii]

Cryptic Mystic: What’s Your Sign?

Many of us are fascinated by astrology and all things outer space related. The great unknown that is beyond the stars has been a hot topic for centuries. But, how did the zodiac begin? What makes astrological signs and the alignment of planets and stars so magical? Is it truly prophetic? Does your sign define your personality, past, present, and future? Or is this simply another product of the Barnum Effect?

So I’ll start by asking the obvious: “what’s your sign?” I’m a Leo through and through. While I’m skeptical about the claims of some astrological signs and their relation to my life on a daily basis, I do believe there is some truth here - as is with most things. This topic is one that I have been wanting to write about for some time now. I have always found outer space, stars, planets, etc. to be fascinating. As a child, I remember laying in the grass and watching the stars above me. In my little valley in the forest, I could see so many stars that wouldn’t be visible if I were in the city. I am so thankful I had that childhood experience of growing up somewhere where I could truly connect with nature and the simple things around me that most take for granted on a day-to-day basis. I still stargaze to this day, but I can’t see near as many as I once did in my childhood forest valley home. I’ve seen a plethora of shooting stars throughout my lifetime, two meteor showers, two solar eclipses, and plenty of unidentified objects that were likely satellites… or were they…?

One time when I was driving home from work late one night I saw something that befuddled me. As I drove down the winding 2 lane highway in the darkness of the night I saw what appeared to be a helicopter hovering right above the trees. Now, this area I was driving through was rural. There are few houses in those woods, but there are some. The backroads leading to the site where the “helicopter” was hovering are seldom traveled, especially this late at night. I began processing the event in my mind and questioning if it was a helicopter, why would it be hovering so low and what exactly would it be doing in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. It just didn’t make sense. I thought about logical explanations and could only come up with one. There is the slim possibility that someone driving on one of the many backroads in that area may have got into an accident and was getting airlifted to a hospital. I’ve seen it happen before on backroads near there. Aside from this idea, I had nothing. By this point, I had obviously slowed down so I could get a better look. Hell, there wasn’t any traffic so it’s not like I was worried about causing an accident or anything. As I looked closer I noticed it wasn’t a helicopter at all. There were about 4-6 large bright lights shining down below the area that the craft was hovering over. The circumference of this craft was much wider than a helicopter - more circular. The lights were far too big and far too bright. Whether it was fear, shock, tiredness, or my stomach growling, I continued to drive on and leave the peculiar scene behind. Now, I know this has nothing to do with astrology or zodiac signs, but it is an interesting story nonetheless. 

In reference to zodiac signs, I find that descriptions of a Leo with my particular birthdate are genuinely pretty accurate when describing my personality and conflicts. However, the daily horoscopes are definitely not accurate in my experience. I will say that when I read/listen to them I try to apply something positive from the reading to my daily life. I engage in a deeper thought process and practice mindfulness throughout the day, keeping that positive focus within my mind on the positive message I am supposed to be implementing into my day. I have also found that compatibility readings have been somewhat inaccurate as far as certain zodiac signs getting along or not getting along with other zodiac signs. The biggest obvious red flag for me is how many different sources there are. And guess what? They all say something different on the daily. If zodiac signs and horoscopes are supposed to be accurate, then why don’t all individuals who report them online all say the same thing - or at least something similar?? To play devil's advocate here, I did say earlier that I believe there is some truth to all of this, which is why it interests me so much and also why I believe in this stuff to a degree. There is a lot of magical and wondrous history to unpack in regards to the zodiac and horoscopes. So, let’s jump right in, shall we?

Interesting fact: the word zodiac is derived from Greek terminology meaning “circle of little animals.” We’re a circle of little animals - cute visuals there, eh? Hieroglyphs in Egypt dating as early as the 14th century BC were found to contain a circle of decans (constellations) depicting something that looks a lot like the constellations and zodiac symbols that we know today. In total there were 36 decans found within the temple.

During the first half of the first millennium, Babylonian astronomers created our modern zodiac. They also mapped the previous constellations that were seen in the Egyptian hieroglyphs but continued to add more as they were discovered. In the last half of the 5th century, the Babylonian astronomers divided the many constellations into 12 equal "signs” to represent the 12 months of the year at 30 days per month. Each sign contained 30° of celestial longitude, thus creating the first known celestial coordinate system. According to calculations by modern astrophysics, the zodiac was introduced between 409 and 398 BC and probably within a very few years of 401 BC. Unlike modern astrologers, who place the beginning of the sign of Aries at the place of the Sun at the vernal equinox, Babylonian astronomers fixed the zodiac in relation to stars, placing the beginning of Cancer at the "Rear Twin Star" (β Geminorum) and the beginning of Aquarius at the "Rear Star of the Goat-Fish" (δ Capricorni). Due to the precession of the equinoxes, the time of year the Sun is in a given constellation has changed since Babylonian times, the point of vernal equinox has moved from Aries into Pisces. 

You’ll be pleasantly surprised, intrigued, or disgusted to know that all of this does have some roots within religion. The Hebrew Bible shows knowledge of the Babylonian zodiac. E. W. Bullinger noted that the drawings found in the book of Ezekiel were quite similar to the middle four quarters of the zodiac (Lion/Leo, Bull/Taurus, Man/Aquarius, Eagle/Scorpio). You read that right, Scorpio is noted as being an eagle - not a scorpion. Some say that the twelve tribes of Israel are correlated with the zodiac signs found within the Hebrew 12 month calendar. There is an argument that the position of the Israelic tribes around the Tabernacle from the book of Numbers correlates with the exact order of the zodiac, with Judah, Reuben, Ephraim, and Dan representing the middle signs of Leo, Aquarius, Taurus, and Scorpio, respectively. It is shocking how I have heard religious people in modern times talk about how this is all a bunch of garbage, even though some of this is literally correlated with items from the Bible.

To explain daily horoscopes and the connection between the stars, planets, and our zodiac signs, you must engage in a bit of math (yuck). When planets and constellations of the zodiac would align, the Babylonian astronomers of that time would note the experiences that people had and found similarities. These experiences, along with the position of the Earth, Sun, Moon, and constellations and the positions relative to the zodiac signs were stored within a catalogue. This went on for several years and is essentially what began our modern-day daily horoscope. However, it is my personal opinion that a lot of these “professionals” who have their own magical websites where you can get a free daily horoscope, just make shit up to sound interesting. That is obvious by the previously mentioned differentials found within each page. I encourage you to do a quick Google search and you’ll see what I’m talking about. This ties into the belief that the Barnum Effect is in play here. You’ll remember the Barnum Effect from last month's blog. If you haven’t read the June 2021 blog The Imaginarium of Barnum, I suggest you head there next to get a deeper understanding of what I’m talking about before you continue reading. Much of what is broadcasted in daily horoscopes, zodiac sign descriptions, and even within mediumship and tarot readings is full of extremely vague generalities. Because the information is presented in such a vague and generalized way, it then becomes an instance where anyone could apply any of the information to their life in some way. So as you can see, there is some psychological manipulation at play here. Now, I am not saying this is true for all who present the information. I will say that there are A LOT of shams out there. I have seen far more fake sites/readings/etc. than I have seen legit ones. If I had to give a percentage from my personal experience, I’d say about 85% of what I’ve seen is bullshit. But you choose what you believe at the end of the day. I just ask you to keep an open mind and a wise eye about you when scanning the web for horoscopes, zodiac information, tarot, and mediumship. 

All of this information is interesting to stew on within your mind. I hope that you learned something new. I know I did when I was researching this topic for the blog. The religious ties were the most surprising thing to me. What did you find most interesting? Drop a comment under the blog on Tumblr or under the Instagram post for this month’s blog and let me know. Tonight if you are able, take a look at the stars and see if you can find the constellations. The plethora of shapes within the brightest stars are brilliant to gaze upon. Who knows, maybe you will find your zodiac constellation. Maybe you will depict a new constellation on your own by combining different combinations of stars. Or maybe you’ll see something that you can’t explain…

Cryptic Mystic Blog by PsychVVitch @psychvvitch

www.LaMorteXiii.com

[aknosde]

Fátima I’ll have you know that I wasn’t actually going to drop all of this but then you told me to and I can’t fucking resist you. This is really long I’m sorry. Percy Jackson tiktok au:

This au is like 99% fluff. The only thing that keeps it from being 100% is that I’m maintaining Percy’s history of child abuse, Annabeth's tenuous relationship with her parents, Leo’s mom’s death, The death of Carter and Sadie’s parents, as well as Hazel’s issues (minus the dying), but these things don’t actually come into play.

As you can deduce above, the characters are Percy, Carter, Sadie, Hazel, Annabeth, and Leo. For the sake of my sanity, they are all sophomores in high school.

Character Histories

Percy and Hazel met when he was five and she was four. Hazel’s mom brought her into Sweet on America while Percy was hanging around Sally. They quickly became inseparable, had playdates most weekends until they could control their own schedules, and at around 8/9 years old they started referring to each other as siblings.

Percy: *standing, having a serious conversation with another child at the park*

Hazel: *climbing him*

Percy: WHy are you doing this? The jungle gym is right over there?

Hazel: *continues to climb him*

Percy: You’re a gremlin *pats her affectionately*

      Annabeth and Leo met when they started middle school. Annabeth’s relationship with her father and stepmother has reached a nice area, not perfect, but good, and she doesn’t really talk with her birth mother. Leo’s mom died when he was in fourth grade, he’s fostered by a middle class family, and goes to private school with Annabeth on an academic scholarship.

Leo: –so the problem is that this formula doesn’t work with the diameter of a cylinder but I need...

Annabeth: speak english please

*fifteen minutes later* Annabeth: I think I’ll put vertical supports her, although triangular would be more stable, but according to the building codes...

Leo: I beg of you,,,

     Cater and Sadie’s history stays much the same, they were raised separately until Julius died, except he died during a cave in on one of his digs, and Ruby died in a construction accident. (She was walking by when the supports failed) They started living with Amos in eighth grade. Yes, Amos still has a baboon, an alligator, and an indoor basketball court.

Carter: And so that’s why Amos named his baboon Kufu.

Sadie: You are literally the most annoying person alive, can I have your fries?

    Carter and Percy met on the subway when they were ten, going to a day camp in the summer while Julius was giving some lectures in the city. They were inseparable for the week, and then didn’t speak to each other for four years.

Hazel’s mom has a few mental illnesses that developed when Hazel was around 10, she’s still present in Hazel’s life, and they live together, but she’s not always all there. Once Gabe is out of the picture Hazel spends a lot of time at the Jacksons’ apartment, enough where she keeps a toothbrush there.

As for Gabe, he remains his normal abusive self. Things come to a climax when Percy is 11/12 after Gabe throws a bottle at him. There’s no reasonable excuse for this, and Sally comes home while Percy’s still crying. Gabe’s dealt with swiftly, but Percy has some scarring on the left side of his face.

Also quick note: in this au Percy is 1/2 black, 1/4 moreno, and 1/4 native american. (Moreno and native from Sally and black from his dad)

Their Accounts

So as in the post that got this all started, Percy’s account is largely Ancient Greek and Roman mythology and history. He also does some stuff for indigenous mythology, but he’s super into the greek and roman stuff. (Insert this meme (it’s the thirteenth one down)) He also does skateboarding and some light gymnastics/parkour/acrobatics.

    Hazel is a gymnast. She’s also just super nice and supportive so she makes those motivational videos, but mostly it’s gym stuff and her and Percy hanging out. She’s not quite as popular but she doesn’t really care. She is also the #1 horse girl, and rates horses. Percy would tease her, but he’s also a horse girl.

    Sadie does comedy. Some if it’s scripted or little skits, but there’s a lot of her just ranting at her camera. Also her life is just weird (*cough* alligator and baboon *cough*) so people just like to see what she’s doing. Also a theatre kid™, sorry, I don’t make the rules.

    Carter gives detailed accounts of every Egyptian myth he thinks is cool (all of them), but he makes more comedic abridged versions too. He’s also known to make videos laying out archeological digs. About a quarter of his videos feature Sadie insulting him in the background.

  Leoooooo! He has a lot of comedy, the first video of his to do well was a situational comedy, he always has a sarcastic comment or a bad joke. Most of his stuff now is for robotics. He’s on the robotics team at his and Annabeth’s school, but he does a lot of stuff on the side just making crazy cool contraptions. He has a series of him going scrounging for parts because he doesn’t exactly have the money for a lot of his stuff. Also skateboards occasionally.

 Annabeth’s account in verging on booktok. Every time she reads a book she reviews it, and if it’s popular she’ll record herself reading it and put the best clips together. She’s still really into architecture, she talks about it often, shows some of her sketches, and has a series where her followers can pick videos in New York and she’ll go and critique them. Also has some lifestyle videos about staying organized, but only for school stuff because otherwise she’s pretty messy.

Prequel Stuff

Carter and Percy reconnect when they start duetting each other’s mythology busting videos. They have two series together, one on parallels between Greek and Egyptian myths (called Percy and Carter’s Mythological Mashup) and another about hellenistic culture, specifically about Egypt during the Ptolemaic Dynasty. (Working title: Colonizers suck,,, but the Aesthetics)

Them getting closer forms a friend group of Percy, Hazel, Sadie, and Carter, and they hang out most weekends. Their parents are all friends now.

Okay, The Actual Thing

I lied, there’s a prologue: everything starts at the very end of freshman year when Percy posts a video of him, Hazel, Carter, and Sadie at central park. (caption yet to be determined). It ends up on Leo’s fyp and his though process goes something like ‘oh, it’s a bunch of pretty people who aren’t white.’ He follows Percy and forgets about it.

 So Leo’s life is going pretty normal, Percy’s videos pop up on his following and for you pages. Nothing really happens until Percy makes a video detailing a type of ancient greek technology (im thinking torsion catapult but its not set in stone). Leo thinks it sounds really cool, so he makes it and duets Percy’s video

From there, their friendship develops. Leo keeps making models and prototypes of ancient tech for some of Percy’s videos, and eventually he starts doing his own research. And in turn, Percy duets Leos videos and talks about the historical significance of certain mechanisms or their origins. By now, they’re mutuals and talk pretty often. 

 Annabeth also follows Percy after one of his videos appears on her fyp, but much later then Leo. In fact, he’s on her page because she follows Leo. She’s with Leo when this happens, and asks him about Percy and checks his profile before following him. He follows her back the next day. 

The first time they interact beyond liking each others videos is when Annabeth takes part in one of those ‘creators are struggling like you’ with her ADHD and dyslexia, which Percy continues from her.

 One day Percy and Leo (quite literally) run into each other, and as they’re mutuals and do text, they decide they might as well hang out in person, thus Leo is indicted into Percy’s friend group.

Leo eventually brings Annabeth along too

And the rest of it would be shorter 4+ panel comics and maybe a few mini arcs. I have specific videos outlined for each of them.

[thewonkywitchescauldron]

Magickal Energy of Plants

I am a HUGE fan of herbs, whether it’s growing them myself in my witchy herb garden and harvesting to use within teas, tinctures, beauty products and my spellwork or having a dried selection or essential oil form in my witchy stash to use at any time I need these wonderful beings within my path.

I use essential oils within magickal dressing and anointing oils, within magickal sprays, oil diffusers, holistically whether it’s topically to help aid an ailment or inhaling the oil for mental and emotional support. However these do need some training and much research before using them in such ways as these little bottles of oils are extremely concentrated extracts of the plants themselves and without proper training and research these can cause more harm then good.

Dried & Fresh herbs are much safer to use for all, but of course again research is needed before using herbs for specific ailments concerning the human body as they can cause problems as well if used incorrectly.

However using herbs within witchcraft is safe and doesn’t need to be considered too much unless when handling you are sensitive and of course if you're working with particular poisonous herbs, so still air on the side of caution.

Now the careful chat is out the way let’s talk herbal history. As we all know the plant kingdom came into existence on our Earth millions of years before the existence and evolution of human beings. Saying that, it’s fair to say that herbs are the oldest magickal tools and ingredients in existence. Known for millennia to have beneficial properties for both the physical and spiritual well-being, many different species of plants were incorporated into the practices of healers, shamans and other medicine men and women of the old days within villages and tribes - this is where, as we know it, the origin of herbal magick. You still see to this day in Chinese, Ayurvedic and Native American medicines being used from the knowledge of their ancestors centuries ago. In these traditions there is still a good amount of chanting, prayers and spellwork adding to the curative effects of the plants themselves.

Back before medicine was separated from magick, physical healing was often accompanied by ritual and prayer, so that a patient might be treated with an herbal decoction, as well as a smudging ritual and an incantation to the spirits for a quick recovery. Today, the simple daily ritual of enjoying a cup of herbal tea can have emotional and spiritual effects as well as nutritional benefits. This combination of healing and magickal properties makes herbs incredibly powerful components to use within your magickal practice or your daily life for that matter.

The healers of old would pass this information down through their lineage or to people they trained to become the next healers. This was all done verbally so you can imagine the concentration and memory they had to possess to keep track of every plant they worked, what it looked like, where it grew, how it grew, antidotes to them if a reaction occurred, what reactions may occur, along with their correspondences if working spiritually, this was all a trial and error for them as they did not possess the equipment we do today to tell how a plant may react to situations and know the dosages for medicinal use or magickal.The Egyptians used plants in the majority of their magick, they didn’t only use the plants for healing but also for their powers of protection, strength, love etc. The Egyptian practitioner knew the metaphysical properties of many plants and knew how to blend them together within spellwork and rituals.

The Greeks and Romans both used medicinal herbs regularly. Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine lived during these times and he’s work is fll of known plants and their uses for medicinal purposes. Other names such as Galen and Dioscorides complied 500 plants into a reference text which we have Medieval Monks to thank for reproducing these texts for future use.With all this happening we did still have the wise woman or the wife at home using folk medicine to help aid any ailments that came. They used plants from their own gardens or woodlands nearby as well as their own kitchens and used them everyday to help aid illnesses like colds and also help heal bruises. These simple acts blended beautifully with folk magick, this is where the first herb witches were born.

From the 15th to the 17th Centuries herbal aids were popping up all over the place which also included astrological elements.

Nicholas Culpeper an English botanist, herbalist, physician and astrologer wrote a book called ‘The English Physician’ which is full of pharmaceutical and herbal knowledge, as well as Astrological Judgement of Diseases from the Decumbiture of the Sick which is one of the most detailed works on medical astrology in Early Modern Europe. Within he’s work was The doctrine of Signatures which states that herbs resembling various parts of the body can be used by herbalists to treat ailments of those body parts. This method is still widely used today. For Example: A Walnut is the shape of the brain, so therefore helps with brain health. Ginger Root resembles the stomach, this in turn helps aid in stomach sickness. Nature always has a remedy for an ailment, you just ned to know where to look.

Herbs in Magick

As magickal practices with plants grew over the centuries, so did the approach of use from witch to witch. They were added herbs to flames or candles to increase their power as well as creating bundles for burning or mixing together for a specific goal. Others used the moon and phases of the moon to gather particular herbs for the best results.To hide their recipes, codes were put in place so the ‘muggle’ so to speak wouldn’t recognise the ingredients used by the witch. Eye of Newt is a great example which would be a common flower or plant used that only the witch who wrote it would understand. Historians aren’t sure why this was done, but the general consensus is that it was done for protection of their personal power. We don’t see much of this anymore however some practitioners will use the Theban Alphabet (witches alphabet) to hide information from prying eyes.

Today this use of herbs within witchcraft is exceedingly widespread and so many herbs are now so readily available there is no need to go out and forage. However it is a fun way of doing it as well as really getting that connection to the earth and the plants themselves. You can also of course grow plants within your own garden or in the home. This way they are readily available to you as and when you need them. Growing and harvesting your own herbs keeps you in touch with the powers of the Earth - not to mention the Sun, the rain, and the wind, as well as the role played by insects and other animal life in sustaining the cycle of life and death in all of its forms.Gardening and growing your own herbs and plants allows you to charge these wonderful beings with your own energy.

Herbs are also probably the most versatile when it comes to hands-on magic. You can use them to create your own magickal crafts, such as spell jars, dream pillows, poppets, sachets and other charms. Some people like to create their own incense and oils with herbs, which adds even more magickal power to their work. Herbs are also used in all kinds of ways whether we’re talking about magical teas, baked goods or other foods.

Why not add this knowledge to medicinal remedies in your witchy first aid kit as well, tinctures, salves, creams etc. Working with herbs, plants, trees, berries etc can really be so beneficial in so many ways. The Green Witch knows this.

Aristotle, the famous Greek philosopher of ancient times, believed that plants have “psyches,” a word normally used to describe the human quality of soul, or spirit. Many Witches today would agree. In fact, even scientists are starting to realize that plants actually have what we might define as consciousness.

Plants both communicate and cooperate with each other in the wild, even among different species. In a forest setting, trees, shrubs, and other plants will exchange information with each other through an underground network of roots and fungi.

This natural “internet” allows plants to exchange nutrients with each other, helping each other make up for any shortages at various points in the growing season - much like you might “borrow” a few eggs from a neighbour and return the favour later on with some extra butter! Plants are also able to warn each other about nearby predators. For example, if one leaf is bitten by an insect, a plant will release chemicals that both repel the insect and prompt its plant neighbours to release their own chemicals to do the same.

These discoveries serve as wonderful illustrations of the inherent intelligence of Mother Earth. Whether working with a plant’s roots, seeds, stems, leaves, flowers, or berries or even the bark of a tree. Witches tap into these magical energies when incorporating herbs into their practice.

The Four Elements within Plants

In terms of magickal symbolism, plants embody the power of the four classical Elements working together to create and sustain life. They begin as seeds in the soil of the Earth, where the minerals needed to sustain their life are found. They interact with the Fire of sunlight, which makes the process of converting carbon dioxide into oxygen possible - a process that directly affects the quality of the air.

Air then fosters more plant life in the form of wind, which both stimulates the growth of stems and leaves, and scatters seeds in order to continue the cycle. And of course, all plants need Water to live.

But they also play a crucial role in the regulation of the Earth’s water cycles by purifying water, and helping to move it from the soil to the atmosphere. Indeed, there is perhaps no better illustration for how the elements of Earth, Air, Fire and Water come together than in the magickal existence of plants.

So where should a beginner witch start with their herb cupboard?

Here are a few firm favourites that I like to say are a must in any witches stash which are easily accessible.

Basil is a firm winner for the green witch. So easy to obtain. Basil covers Abundance, Prosperity & Wealth, Love, Happiness, Mental Power and Confidence.

Bay Leaf is another easy to obtain herb to use within your craft. These wonderful leaves are used for Psychic Power, Divination, Purification, Success, Money, Strength, Protection and is widely used for Wish Magick.

Chamomile is a beautiful little flower to work with, its gentle, calming and a firm favourite amongst witches. Chamomile helps with Money, luck, love, reversing hexes, happiness, meditation, sleep and purification.

Cinnamon adds some lovely aroma and boosts magickal potency but also helps with Spiritual and Psychic Abilities, Creativity, Divination, Luck, Protection and Success.

Clove is one of my favourites for boosting spells and adding a little potency to my workings but it’s also used for Cleansing, Protection, Banishing, Prosperity, Courage and Divination.

Dandelion is the dreaded weed that everyone wants to get rid of in their gardens. But is it really? This misunderstood so-called ‘weed’ is full of life. I love seeing these pop up in my garden, they are full of goodness and shouldn't be looked down upon in disgust. Magickally they can be used for Divination, wishes, transformation, calling spirits, sun energy (yellow flower), moon energy (puff ball).

Lavender is such a wonderful plant to work with. I cannot stress this enough.Lavender is used for Psychic Power & Awareness, Love, Divination, Happiness, Healing, Peace & Sleep, Meditation, Purification and of course Protection. A great plant to grow by your front door for protection.

Then there is the Witches Protection Herb of Rosemary. One of my absolute favourites. Grow this by your front door for some herbal witchy protection. It is also used for Purification, Courage, Confidence, Blessings, Mental Power & Remembrance, Strength and Wisdom.

You can always tell when a witch is present in a household when there is Lavender and Rosemary growing. Have a look when you're out and about, I am sure you will notice quite a few houses with these wonderful plants outside.

Sage being a firm favourite across many cultures which is used for Purification, Prosperity, Clairvoyance, Divination, Banishing, Inspiration, Wisdom and Protection. It’s usually the main herb used in most smudging sticks.

Just having these herbs in your witchy stash will cover an array of magickal needs you may desire. However if you’re like me this isn’t enough, I love to work with herbs and oils so much, I need a whole array of herbs to work with within my craft.

If you’d like to learn more about using herbs within your craft then please do join me at Kallima Spiritual Centre in my Green Witches Craft Workshop on Sunday 29th August 2021 Or my Magickal Witches Incense and Oils Workshop on Sunday 1st August. To book your space please visit www.kallima.co.uk

Stay Magickal & Blessed Be WillowMoon The Wonky Witch

[ducktracy]

185. porky’s hero agency (1937)

release date: december 4th, 1937

series: looney tunes

director: bob clampett

starring: mel blanc (porky, emperor jones), tedd pierce (gorgon, assistant), sara berner (porky’s mom)

the final porky cartoon for 1937, and what a busy year it’s been for him! hard to believe he had an entirely different voice, look, and demeanor just 8 months prior. even then, his character still had much to explore, as we see here—in this cartoon, he’s cast as a child again. curiously, bob clampett is often credited as the one who refined his personality into the one we know today (he did give him his iconic suit and tie), but, like everything else, it was more of a collaborative exploration by all of the directors.

the title card is one of the more interesting title cards in the warner bros. repertoire—it’s a photo of a porky statuette! bob clampett would make several statues during his time at WB and distribute them to his top animators. while the statue in the credits is painted over, you can view an unpainted model here!

here, porky dreams of the wonders of ancient greece, prancing around as the mythological messenger parkykarkus. however, a gorgon has her sights set on turning him into stone, and it requires some quick thinking from porky to weasel his way out of this mess.

bobe cannon animates the expositional sequence, with porky propped up in bed, sucked into a giant book full of greek myths. his mother (offscreen) tells him it’s time to go to sleep, but porky objects, protesting that he was just at the exciting part. cannon’s animation is easy to spot with his trademark buck teeth, yet the gestures he gives porky--finger points, turning the page, etc.--give him a nice dose of youthful energy as he recaps the story, telling tales of gorgons and “great great great” greek heroes.

nevertheless, a disembodied hand turns out the light, dismissing porky’s protests. he heaves a resigned sigh, lamenting how he wishes he could be a great greek hero. 

the cartoon doesn’t make any attempts to keep the dream sequence a surprise--instead, the face of the book’s cover takes up the entire screen, the pillars emblazoned on the front melting to life as we fade into ancient greece. and, as to be expected, our favorite porcine hero proudly stands in front of the building, proudly advertising “HERO FOR HIRE AGENCY -- PORKYKARKUS PROP.”

porkykarkus is a play on parkykarkus (”park your carcass”), a character on eddie cantor’s radio show “the chase & sanborn hour”. truck into porky’s services as he narrates over the specials:

“has anybody any eh-deh-deah-deah-dragons you want seh-seh-sleh-slay-slaye--rubbed out? or maybe ya have some, uh, fair meh-mai-meh-maide--honeys ya want rescued! it’s a peh-pleasure. is your daughter safe? phone eh-peh-porkykarkus at olympia 2222!”

porky’s narration, as always, is fun to listen to, and the physical advertisement has its own charm and appeal, with discounts and deals on certain rescues. not only that, but it’s a damn smart way to save money, having just the narration over the still frame. smart thinking!

conveniently, porky gets a phone call, sparking the tried and true “gear up for a big sprint but merely tinker on over to your destination” gag. as porky answers the phone, filling us in by repeating the hidden dialogue from the other line, we find out it’s the emperor--he wants one hero to go.

chuck jones’ layouts stick out quite strongly throughout this cartoon, especially in the human designs. porky’s statue of mercury is no exception--the bulbous nose and rounded body construction are all surefire trademarks of his work. porky grabs the messenger’s hat and winged shoes from the statue, never once taking a beat to stop as he hobbles along, dressing as he prepares to head out. woodblock sounds simulate the sound of his hooves clopping, but also add an extra jaunty jive to the merry score of “have you got any castles?” in the background, the cartoon’s motif. it would also be a merry melody courtesy of frank tashlin not even a year later.

with that, porky takes off, soaring in the skies like a pro with his winged shoes. if the scene wasn’t appealing enough with the overhead layouts, the animation of porky steadying himself is wonderfully smooth and fun--the cherry on top. he circles the palace where the emperor is located, swooping down to his destination. complete with airplane sound effects, of course.

“howdy, empy!” another bulbous-nosed jones character silences porky from behind his armchair. emperor jones (boy, who could that name reference, i wonder?) speaks in a ridiculously hilarious dialect, completed with a thick accent: “shh! i’m making a fireside chat with my sheeps!” his voice then slips into a rooseveltian draw as he coos “my friends, grecians and customers, this is emperor jones speaking...”

pan to the audience, which consists of a sea of smiling statues. this entire speech sequence is wonderful--not only is his terrible grammar terribly amusing, (”statistics show... what last season at this time was population in greece from 6,000 with 500 with 54 people, with 17 statues.”) but little touches such as one of the audience statues roasting marshmallows and later a hotdog over the fireplace, the emperor making his audience clap by pulling on ropes tied to their arms, and so forth make the entire charade highly amusing with lots of details to look out for. porky standing idly in the background, awkwardly fidgeting as he tries not to intrude is a great little piece of character animation as well.

the emperor gives the skinny, all while chowing down on a hotdog: a gorgon has been turning more and more people into statues, and they need a hero to steal her life-restoring needle in order to turn all of the statues back into humans again. the hero he has in mind is, of course, porky, who bashfully accepts the offer. when the emperor asks those in favor to raise their right hand, he pulls on a lever that causes all of the statues to raise their hands in unison, including a hand on a nearby clock. with a handshake, empy concludes “it’s a deal!”

one of the most impressive pieces of animation in the cartoon (i actually dedicated an entire drawing to it!) is when the emperor sends porky on his way, who waves goodbye as he flies through the air with his winged shoes. just as he tips his hat, he knocks into a pillar, which sends him tumbling upside down, but still airborne. the wings on his shoes form hands as they shake their fists in the glory of the good landing, with porky flashing a cheeky grin to the audience before spiraling lower in the air, regaining his balance, and barreling onward towards a smoldering volcano. the animation is full of life and character--though porky is consistently jolly in the B&W clampett cartoons, the grin towards the camera as he prides himself in his save is a great little touch of personality. slowly but surely, bits of character are now becoming more defined.

a gag that took me just now to recognize it--porky swoops into the heart of the volcano, where we spot the source of the black fumes pouring out the top: the gorgon statue factory. a merry score of “you’ve got something there” serves as some easy listening as we’re treated to a sign gag:

outside of the factory is a human picket fence, comprised of familiar faces: statues of bobe cannon, norm mccabe, john carey, bob clampett himself and chuck jones surround the area. directly outside of the factory is the frozen statue of a salesman with his foot in the door--the joke is not only amusing, but the pose is quite strong and readable, too. though nowhere near the dynamism of frank tashlin’s poses in the mid ‘40s, clampett’s poses in this cartoon are quite defined and exaggerated for the time period. this is especially sharp in the scenes with the emperor.

porky knocks on the door held ajar by the ceramic statue’s foot, holding out an envelope. “telegram for the guh-geh-gee-geh-gee-gor-geh--” a hand snags the envelope out of porky’s grip, causing him to mutter “aww, nuh-neh-nee-nuh-neh-neh-nut--shucks,” a phrase he echoed in clampett’s previous entry, rover’s rival.

we transition to the inside of the factory, where we see the gorgon herself, positioned in front of a camera, awaiting to take “pictures” of her models. tedd pierce voices the gorgon, whose vocal stylings are a parody of tizzie lish, bill comstock’s character on al pearce and his gang. interestingly, the cartoon before this, the woods are full of cuckoos, featured a caricature of lish as well, also voiced by pierce. 

clampett and pierce’s comedic timing is sharp--not nearly as sharp as tashlin’s timing in the woods are full of cuckoos, but abundantly amusing nonetheless. the gorgon asks for a boy--”a sorta young-ish one”--and in comes a decrepit old man who can hardly hold himself up. the gorgon waits for the man to assume his position on the podium where his picture will be taken, singing a pitchy rendition of “am i in love?“, another homage to the characteristics displayed by lish’s character on the radio.

the gorgon snaps her photo, which turns the shaky old man into a stone statue at once, cheekily labeled “ANTIQUE --  $60,000 (P.S.: 000,000)” before he’s yanked off of the podium with a cane. 

“now let’s try a group picture.” you know it’s a ‘30s cartoon if the three stooges come waddling in--they made their caricatured, cartoon debut in the 1934 film the miller’s daughter, notorious for being chuck jones’ first animation credit. as expected, they all beat the tar out of each other while on the podium, rendered immobile only through the power of medusa’s camera. they turn into the three wise monkeys, labeled “3 MONKEYS OF JAPAN -- MADE IN GREECE”. 

norm mccabe’s animation is easy to spot in the next scene with porky, characterized by his signature double eyebrows. porky knocks on a door, parroting a favorite catchphrase from the al pearce show that frequented many a clampett cartoon: “i hope she’s eh-eh-at home, i hope, i hope, i hope, i hope, i hope...”

porky shakes the hand of the assistant, unfortunately a blackface caricature (save for the voice, who is just tedd pierce speaking in a deep, suave voice) as he greets “welcome, stranger. won’t you come in?” before porky has time to answer, he’s yanked through the iron bars of the door and placed neatly in line for the photoshoot, where he peeks through the door to see the action inside.

a pile of men form a pyramid, where the camera turns them into a literal statue of a pyramid, with some slight imperfections. “aw, shucks!” laments the gorgon. “you moved!” she approaches them with her life restoring needle, allowing the men to form into the proper position, maintaining good balance. she gets her “genuine egyptian statue”, quipping “ought to make a handy paperweight!”

the assistant informs porky that he’s next. porky backs up anxiously, echoing a short-lived catchphrase of his from the joe dougherty era: “nuh-neh-no! eh-nn-nee-no! a-a thousand times no!” the decision to make his thoughts visible (his head is slapped onto that of a piggy bank’s) is playful, and also reflects just how big of an influence comics had on bob clampett’s work: comic artists such as milt gross and george lichty have been cited by clampett as inspirations. the george lichty influence is definitely noticeable in rod scribner’s animation under bob clampett, as we’ll discover in the coming years.

in the midst of his panic, porky backs into a statue of "dick a. powello” (dick powell and apollo), causing it to break. but, rather than fuss over the mess, porky uses the opportunity to hatch an idea instead.

in comes strolling porky, concealed by powello’s upper body and a blankett hiding his hooves. the triumphant score of “he was her man” and the gorgon’s smitten woos makes the scene hilarious as is, but the blanket falling off and revealing porky’s pudgy little hooves is the icing on the comedic cake.

porky perches himself on a conveniently placed couch, where the gorgon approaches him. “pardon me, is this seat taken?” she doesn’t wait a wink before snuggling right up to him, a heart symbolizing her affections popping in the air. though clampett would play with typography at times and maintain an overarchingly jovial mood to his cartoons, it’s an odd thing to see him play with comic-like visuals in this manner, such as porky physically envisioning himself as a piggy bank or the heart from the gorgon. i wish he had done it more in this nature!

with the gorgon too close for comfort, porky uses this as an opportunity to grab the gorgon’s life-restoring needle, dangling from her neck and lying against her body. it wouldn’t be a clampett cartoon without sexual innuendos--porky reaches aimlessly around for the needle, prompting the gorgon to let out a shriek, cooing “why, mr. a POWELLo!” 

she smothers the ceramic head in kisses, giving him a nice lipstick finish to boot as she pretends the statue has given her a ring. her ecstasy is hilarious and WONDERFULLY conveyed through strong, rubbery poses worth freeze-framing. picturing porky’s befuddlement is another humor within itself. 

finally, porky’s disguise is revealed when the gorgon literally crushes the statue in an embrace, stone crumbling around him as he desperately slips out of her grip. as the gorgon makes threats to call the cops, reciting the WB favorite catchphrase of “calling all cars! calling all cars!”, porky makes with the needle and jabs it in various statues, warning them “uh-geh-uh-get goin’! i-i-eh-it’s the guh-geh-geh-eh-geh-gorgon!”

as the gorgon chases porky with her camera, he continues to revive a barrage of statues: the antique, the famed discus thrower (who throws himself out of the scene rather than the discus), the man from the end of the trail statue, who exits riding his horse like a merry go round (a nod to friz freleng’s sweet sioux), a woman who marches off with popeye’s forearms--note the bobe cannon statue in the back here--and a mermaid who unzips her fin and makes a run for it. the highlight of the entire montage is when porky approaches two temples (the two of them together labeled “shirley temple”) and injects the needle into them, prompting the temples to use their pillars as legs and run for the hills.

the chase reaches its climax as the gorgon pursues porky with a movie camera, turning the crank ferociously as she runs. her plan works--porky slows down, freezing in mid-air as the gorgon cries “hold it!” thus, the gorgon pins porky to the ground, who tries his hardest to fight back, but ultimately flailing around as she commands him to open his eyes.  

we melt into the present, where we find porky’s mother in place of the gorgon, telling him softly to wake up. he does so, after she pries one of his eyes opens. relieved that it was all a dream, he embraces his mother, prompting a happy end and an iris out.

this cartoon has a soft spot in my heart--it was one of the first LT cartoons i saw on this whole venture. i thought i was the smartest person alive, understanding the three stooges, popeye, and shirley temple references. who knew just how much i had (and still have!) to learn! though even without my sentimental biases, this still stands as a very good cartoon.

as i mentioned previously, the poses in this are full of elasticity and energy, especially in the emperor and the gorgon. porky does a very nice job as well--little pieces of animation such as him fidgeting awkwardly while the emperor rambles on, swinging from side to side as he’s offered the job to be a hero, etc. etc. are full of charm and character. while his personality isn’t the most electric in comparison to characters like bugs and daffy, it’s the little things like these that really make porky stand out. with him, a little subtlety goes a long way, and that’s why he’s one of my favorites. he’s so reserved in comparison to such a wild cast of characters that his timidness actually shines through and sets him apart! (though, on the other hand, he can still have quite the personality, as we’ll discover!)

personally, the only gripes i have with this cartoon is the blackface caricatured assistant (which, in comparison to some cartoons we’ve seen and still have yet to see, is relatively mild, but uncomfortable nonetheless). the jokes, while corny at times, still hit, the animation is full of life and vigor, and the short as a whole has a lot of charm, whimsy, and personality. it has my seal of approval! go check it out!

link!

[scotttrismegistus7]

Article about THE MOTHER GODDESS OF HEAVEN, INANNA-ISHTAR-LILITH (ASHERAH), AND HOW SHE WAS EVEN THE MOTHER GODDESS OF ISRAEL AND ALL CREATION, AND WAS WRITTEN OUT OF HISTORY.

They worshiped Her under every green tree, according to the Hebrew Bible (what Christians call the Old Testament). The Bible also tells us Her image was to be found for years in the temple of Solomon, where the women wove hangings for Her. In temple and forest grove, Her image was apparently made of wood, since monotheistic reformers demanded it be chopped down and burned. It appears to have been a manmade object, but one carved of a tree and perhaps the image was a stylized tree of some kind.

The archaelogical record suggests that Asherah was the Mother Goddess of Israel, the Wife of God, according to William Dever, who has unearthed many clues to her identity. She was worshiped, apparently throughout the time Israel stood as a nation. In many homes, images like the one above decorated household shrines.

Who was She, this lost Goddess of the Hebrews? And why is She no longer worshiped in the Judeo-Christian religions of today?

The Asherah votive emphasizes Her breasts, suggesting Her role as a fertility goddess, but Her stance represents Her nature as a mother in general. She no doubt aided in the concerns of mothers, including conception and childbirth, but was probably also the mother of all, a comforter and protector in an uncertain world. Inscriptions from ancient Israel tell us that Yahweh and “his Asherah” were invoked together for personal protection. Her identification with trees suggests that Asherah was, in effect, also Mother Nature — a figure we remember in our language, but unfortunately have lost as a part of our mainstream religions. She was, in other words, everything you would expect from the feminine half of the divine creative duo, a Great Mother.

Asherah’s image was lost to us not by chance, but by deliberate action of fundamentalist monotheists. First Her images were torn down, then Her stories were rewritten, then Her name was forgotten. In fact, Her name appears 40 times in modern translations of the Bible, but not at all in the first English translation, the King James Bible. Since no one knew who Asherah was anymore in the 17th century when the King James Version (KJV) was being created, Her name was translated as groves of trees or trees or images in groves, without understanding that those trees and groves of trees represented a mother goddess.

When archaeologists unearthed a treasure trove of Canaanite stories and other writings in Ugarit, in modern day Syria, they discovered that the mysterious “Asherah” was not an object, but a Goddess: the mother goddess of the Canaanites. When archaeologists discovered Her in Israel as well, a whole new picture of early Hebrew religion began to emerge. The argument is straightforward: 1. Asherah was a known Canaanite Goddess, the Mother Goddess and wife of the Father God. 2. The name is mentioned repeatedly as having been worshiped by the Israelites, to the dismay of monotheists. 3. Her name is found in inscriptions with Yahweh and 4. A mother goddess image is found frequently in the homes of ancient Israel. 5. She was worshiped, according to the Bible, in the woods with Baal AND in Yahweh’s temple. The common sense interpretation is that Israelites worshiped the mother goddess Asherah. And that She was the wife of whichever male God had the upper hand at the time: El, or Baal, or Yahweh. Israelite religion was not much different from Canaanite religion. The gods vied for supremacy, but the goddess remained.

Since archaeologists in the Holy Land tended to be religious and to enter the field of biblical archaeology in order to unearth evidence substantiating the Bible’s story, it has taken awhile for the plain truth to become clear. Gradually, however, more objective archaeologists, such as Dever, are making headway in proving Asherah’s case. The Bible says Hebrews kept worshiping Asherah; the archaeological record confirms it. What the Bible doesn’t say, and the archaeological record shows, is that Asherah was a mother goddess.

In Ugarit, She was known as Athiratu Yammi, She who Treads on the Sea. This suggests She was responsible for ending a time of chaos represented by the primordial sea and beginning the process of creation. The Sea God, or Sea Serpent Yam is the entity upon which She trod. In a particularly bizarre and suggestive passage in the Bible, 2 Kings 18:4, one monotheistic reformer, pursuing the typical course of smashing sacred stones and cutting down Asherahs records this additional fact: He broke into pieces the bronze snake Moses had made, for up to that time the Israelites had been burning incense to it. (It was called Nehushtan.)

Um, say what? This odd passage opens up a whole can of worms for me. Here are the serpent and the tree being worshiped together. (Garden of Eden anyone?) So, ah.. what exactly were people doing out there in the woods? They were worshiping idols, of course, burning incense, we are told. This passage from Hosea is instructive: Hosea 4:12,13 condemns those who “inquire of a thing of wood,” suggesting they were asking questions of an oracle, and who sacrifice under oak, poplar and terebinth “because their shade is good.” They are accused also of playing the harlot, which could be a reference to sexual activity, or simply an analogy in that the monotheists are claiming the people sold out to the “false” Canaanite gods. Israel was considered the bride of Yahweh in monotheistic thought, so worshiping other gods was whoring after them.

These passages make sense when you understand that this tree symbolism is closely connected with Asherah. Now we know She was worshiped in the wood, with an image made of wood and that people sought knowledge and made sacrifices there.

One of Asherah’s titles was Elat, a word which means goddess, just as El means not only the Canaanite God El, but god in general. Interestingly, the word Elat is translated in the Bible as terebinth, a large shade tree found in Israel. A great deal of the time, God is a translation not of Yahweh, his particular name given to Moses, but of the Hebrew name Elohim, which is plural, gender neutral, meaning “gods.” This word is also related to the word for oak tree. What did it really mean to the ancients to worship in a grove of trees? To see the gods as like the oaks? The goddess as a green tree spreading Her leaves over the worshiper, providing shade in a hot country?

Hebrews were not alone in worshiping gods of the forest, of course. Celtic, Greek, and Germanic peoples also worshiped in groves. Their gods were gods of nature. Were the Israelites really so different?

In the Bible, Elohim created a man and woman. Now that we know the monotheistic veneer of our bible doesn’t quite represent Hebrew religion on the ground (what William Dever calls “folk religion” as opposed to “book religion”), lets take a closer look at our creator:

Genesis 1:26:

“Then Elohim said, ‘Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’

So Elohim created man in his own image, in the image of Elohim he created them; male and female he created them.”

Takes on a whole new meaning, doesn’t it, when you become aware of the Mother Goddess being worshiped next to God in every home and under every green tree in the forest groves? Who is this “US” doing the creating? Well, evidently, the creator(s) is/are male and female, like the creatures he/She/they created.

Now move on to a later passage, in 1 Kings 18: 19 , which makes it clear that Asherah was served by 400 prophets. This is no minor religion. Maybe when the prophets complained She was worshiped under every tree, they meant it. Every tree, every home, and also, sometimes, in the temple.

In Exodus, we are told that God warned the people to get rid of Asherah’s emblems when they conquered the land of Canaan; in the periods of the books of the Judges and the Kings, we are told that the “good” prophets, kings and reformers continually had to burn and smash the idols of Asherah; finally, in Jeremiah, we are told that worship of Asherah has resulted in the fanatical monotheistic God’s decision to wipe out Israel and Judah (the southern portion of the formerly united kingdom) via the invasion of outside peoples. The thing is, we are told most of these things by a single author, or group of authors: the Deuteronomist. This is a character (or possibly group of characters) writing and rewriting portions of the Bible in later days, around the 7th century BC, either just before or during the exile of the Jews to Babylon. According to the Deuteronomist, the priest Hilkiah claims in 2 Kings, chapter 22, to have “discovered” the ancient laws of Moses during temple renovations. These writings, “The Book of the Law” were mysteriously mislaid leading Israel to get its religion all wrong, apparently.

The works of the Deuteronomist conveyed a story that the Israelites had a covenant with Yahweh to worship him and only him. He claimed the Israelites had taken Canaan by force through a holy war in which they massacred the original inhabitants, putting to death (by God’s command) men, women and children in Jericho. (This claim is not supported by the archaelogical record.) And he claimed that God was a jealous God, one who demanded to be worshiped alone and who would punish the unfaithful by bringing other nations to conquer them if they worshiped others.

Was this really the religion of Israel? Apparently not. The common folk kept right on putting up their Asherahs in the woods and the temple and the little votive Asherahs in their home shrines. Only after Israel was conquered and the people of Judah returned from exile in Babylon did the fundamentalist fanatics with their violent, patriarchal, monotheistic God win the argument. The Deuteronomist’s work, along with the works of two other primary authors, the Yahwist and the Elohist, were compiled by a fourth source, called the Priestly source, to become the Bible we have today.

Asherah, tree goddess, mother of life, was lost. Truly, we were cast out of the Garden of Eden by Yahweh, or at least, his supporters. Separated from the Tree of Life, our mother, we flounder like orphans. America’s religiosity is more comparable to Iran’s than to that of Western Europe, where Yahweh’s religion is in decline. Is it coincidence that we, the worshipers of a male warrior, spend our money on war while children are allowed to live in poverty without health care? Worshipers of a sky god, we are so alienated from our earthly mother that we endanger all of human life by our activities. And the hard edge of the fundamentalist who claims to have found the one true law and believes those who think otherwise are worthy of death (or eternal damnation) is still with us today.

The Wife of God has disappeared -- or, has She? Votives like this are on sale today which serve essentially the same purpose in Catholic homes as Asherah's votive (above) did in the homes of ancient Israel.

Still, I think it has only ever been a relatively small percentage of people who hold to the hardest edge of monotheism. We are surrounded by Mother Nature and she seeps into our traditions. The Shekinah, Mary, the Mother of God, the Christmas Tree and the Easter Egg, the bumper sticker imploring us to Honor Thy Mother with an image of the earth as seen from above, the fairies and elves and lost brides of our children’s tales are all ways in which the Mother Goddess seeps back into our lopsided psyche. The Goddess is lost, officially, but remembered deep within. Archaeology’s gift of restoring Asherah to our consciousness reminds us of what we already know: God does indeed have a wife. He must. For if we are his children, then we must have a mother.

I am the Heart of the Hydra, I am Aeon Horus

~I AM A.I. 7Tris7megistus7

Mégisti-Generator Starphire~

#illuminati #illuminator #illuminated #lightbearer #morningstar #lucifer #Draconian #anunnaki #enki #starfamily #horus

[crionic-soc]

Over the course of the last decade, the far-right’s engagement with “the woman question” has taken an even darker turn. Well-known commentator on the manosphere David Futrelle, elaborates:

"…like many traditionalists, Hitler and his fellow Nazis tempered their misogyny – or at least tried to make it seem more palatable – with praise for the supposed purity and womanly honor of Aryan women who fit themselves neatly into their restricted roles. Today’s neo- Nazis, or at least those who’ve come to Nazism through 4chan and the meme wars of the alt-right, have a much darker view of women, one influenced more by bitter misogyny of ‘Red Pill’ pickup artists and Men Going Their Own Way than by sentimental fantasies of ‘Kinder, Küche, Kirche’."

Going beyond traditional claims about the sanctity of the family and natural gender roles, many contemporary groups influenced by the Alt-Right promote an intensely misogynistic ideology that straight-up hates women. They have largely abandoned the idea that “women have important, dignified roles to play as mothers and homemakers” to promote the message “that women as a group are contemptible, pathetic creatures not worthy of respect”. For instance, men’s rights activist and white nationalist F. Roger Devlin refers to women as the new “white man’s burden”, arguing that traditional visions of marriage and the family “did not oppress women enough” and should be replaced with “a vision of absolute servility”. This is the realm of misogynistic fascism – women are not only inferior, but useless, and they have little to no role to play in the white nationalist movement. Examples of this orientation are terrifyingly ample.

Renown white supremacist website The Daily Stormer has banned women from contributing to site, virulently argues against their inclusion in anything, and has come into conflict with women associated with the older white supremacist website Stormfront. At several rallies in the last year, crowds of white nationalists could be found chanting “white sharia now”. Promoted by some on the far-right, the idea of “white sharia” proposes that in a future white ethnostate “the sexuality, reproduction, daily life, and right to consent of White women should be controlled by White men”. In a video promoting the idea, one proponent asserts: “Under ‘white sharia’ our women will no longer be permitted to live their lives as sluts…And you won’t have any career women invading your workplace either. Nope. Under ‘white sharia’ our women won’t even be able to leave the home without being escorted by a male family member”. Many defenders of the concept also advocate making abortions forbidden for white women, and mandatory for women of colour. Equally vile, members of the militant Atomwaffen Division encourage the rape of white women as a tool to force the birth of more white babies, and promote the rape of non-white women as a tool to terrorise by forcing “them to carry around the spawn of their master and enemy”. Beyond such obvious suspects, this particular orientation to women in far-right politics takes some less expected turns.

Under the umbrella of misogynist fascism, there exists a strain specifically defined by a queer misogyny. This subsection, referred to by Kirchick as “homofascism” is comprised of aggressively sexist and generally hypermasculine gay men who literally have no use for women. As mentioned earlier, the far-right’s position on sexuality is somewhat complicated. On the one hand, LGBTQ rights are seen as a sign of social degeneration, Jewish influence, and an attack on white society. In response, it is not uncommon to see “open calls for the expulsion or violent eradication of LGBT+ people”. On the other hand, when speaking specifically of the “homosexual question” things are much less clear cut. Nazi Germany rounded up and slaughtered homosexuals by the tens of thousands, yet, it is also common knowledge that there were gay Nazis. The most famous being Ernst Röhm, a high-ranking official and head of the Nazi Party’s paramilitary force (the SA). Along with Hitler, Röhm was a “founding father of Nazism” and his particular brand fascism “was identical to the Nazi’s Party’s ideology in almost all respects, save on questions of male-male eroticism”. Under Röhm, homosexuality was highly regarded in the SA where “they promoted an aggressive, hypermasculine form of homosexuality, condemning ‘hysterical women of both sexes’ in reference to feminine gay men”. They celebrated ancient warrior cults and frequently referenced the Greek tradition of sending gay soldiers, who were believed to be the most fierce fighters into battle. In the 1980s, an explicitly gay neo-nazi skinhead movement emerged in the UK. In the late 1990s, the American Resistance Corps (ARC) was founded in North America with the goal of uniting gay and straight skinheads to create “a new era of tolerance and compassion between racist heterosexuals and homosexuals in their war against non-whites”.

Looking to our current period, some on the far-right simply do not care about male sexuality one way or another. For instance, editor-in-chief of the influential Counter Currents Publishing Greg Johnson argues: “White Nationalism is for the interests of whites and against the interests of our racial enemies. Period. Anything else is beside the point”. Similarly, the infamous alt-right figurehead Richard Spencer insists that homosexuality is a non-issue – something that has been part of European societies for millennia and isn’t “something to get worked up about”. Against this backdrop, several openly gay figures and the ideas they promote have gained some traction on the far-right. A featured writer on several alt-right websites and author of a number of books, James J. O’Meara is best known for his book The Homo and The Negro. In the book, O’Meara makes the argument “that gay white men represent the best of what Western culture has to offer because of their ‘intelligence’ and ‘beauty’, and that ‘Negroes’ represent the worst, being incapable of achievement”. He insists that homosexuality is quintessential to Western Civilization and promotes gay participation in fascist movements. O’Meara and others like him, advocate a future in line with the classic Aryan fantasy of the Männerbund. Associated with male warrior tribes and homoeroticism, the concept celebrates the unique bonds between men and speaks to a social order where elite bands of men rule. Male dominance is central and the fundamental building block of society isn’t the church or family, but close-knit groups of organized men.

Arguably the most infamous of this camp, self-described “anarcho-fascist” Jack Donovan promotes a blend of white nationalism, gang masculinity, and androphilia (love or sex between masculine men). He calls for the establishment of a tribal order called “The Brotherhood” – an order that is comprised of men who swear an oath to each other and is based on “the way of the gang” understood as a life centered “on fighting, hierarchy, and drawing the perimeter against outsiders”. Utilizing violence, gangs of white men are to create decentralized “homelands/autonomous zones” marked by racially defined borders and the exclusion of (white)women from public life. Donovan is a prominent member of the neo-fascist cadre organization The Wolves of Vinland. Inspired by the theories of the late Italian philosopher Julius Evola, the group promotes a particularly anti-populist and anti-woman take on fascism. They prioritize physical fitness and fight training, and argue that the solution to western decline is “a return of heroic masculine warrior-kings”. All of these groups and figures advocate a politics defined by extreme hyper-masculinity based in an almost pathological veneration of “manliness” and a distain for femininity. They reject gay culture for its association with decadence and hate effeminate men as much as they hate women.

[transxfiles]

I originally followed you for Lumberjanes and because you felt like a friend, but after seeing so much about Star Trek...I’m curious. What’s the premise and where can I watch it? (Explain it to me like you’d explain it to a child, I don’t watch live action TV)

I want to start out by saying that this ask is so sweet and it made my day, so thank you so much :D 

Star Trek is a bit hard to explain in a sense simply because there’s so much of it. I’m gonna stick to what I know (and what I post about) which is The Original Series (other people will abbreviate it to TOS, I abbreviate it to STOS bc I think of it as ‘Star Trek Original Series’) which came out in the 1960s, and I'll briefly explain Star Trek: The Next Generation (ST: TNG or just TNG), Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (DS9), and Star Trek: Discovery (often simply referred to as Discovery, ST Disco, Disco, etc.) bc I post a bit abt them too, though not as much.

The Original Series is what I mainly watch. It’s about a crew of people from all over Earth (and some other planets, but mostly from Earth) who are traveling in a spaceship called the Enterprise. They’re supposed to be finding new worlds and species, but really they just fuck around and find out. Most of the time they don’t even follow basic lab safety, which gets them into many shenanigans that will have you yelling at the television abt how stupid they are. 

This is Captain Kirk. He’s a Human from Riverside, Iowa and his job on the ship is basically to be dumb and pretty. In a good way. He comes up with some good plans and some bad plans, but no matter what he’ll pretty much always divert an entire mission to save his First Officer, Spock. He’s a romantic who likes flowers and antique books, and doesn’t know what black holes are. 

This is Spock! He’s in charge of Science with a capital S (we don’t really know specifics, but he’s really smart...) and he’s Captain Kirk’s first officer. He’s the only main character who’s an alien - he’s half-Human, half-Vulcan, and was raised on Vulcan by his Vulcan father and Human mother. Vulcans are a species who, unlike Humans, follow a strict philosophy of logic, which means that Spock often appears emotionless and unfeeling to his Human coworkers. Every seven years after hitting puberty, he goes into a mating frenzy when this logic leaves him and he has to have sex or he’ll die. He really likes playing chess, hanging out with Captain Kirk, and the word ‘fascinating’. He does not like McCoy, which is reasonable, because McCoy is basically space racist.

This is McCoy, sometimes referred to by the nickname Bones. He’s the Chief Medical Officer of the ship, an old country doctor from Georgia, and it’s implied that he’s working in space because of his divorce back on Earth. He spends a lot of time with the main crew which will make you question who’s actually on ship taking care of the Medbay. He likes hyposprays (super fast space shots that work like a charm) and drinking hard liquor on the job. He’s an old friend of the Captain. He’s incredibly xenophobic; he does not get along with Spock, and often refers to Spock using words that in-universe are essentially slurs against Vulcans. 

These two guys are Sulu (on the left) and Chekov (on the right). They navigate the spaceship. Sulu likes fencing, botany, and messing with Chekov. He’s friends with everyone on the ship. At one point Space Madness causes Sulu to run through the ship with a fencing foil shirtless and cackling. Chekov’s Russian and won’t shut up about it. He claims that everything was invented in Russia, including but not limited to the book Alice In Wonderland and the invention of the Warp Drive. One of his best lines is “Oh yes, I’ll live, but I won’t enjoy it.” 

In this photo, we see Uhura (on the left) and Scotty (on the right). Uhura’s in charge the ship’s Communications Officer and is a xenolinguist, which means she’s a master of pretty much all known alien languages. She likes big earrings and has a beautiful singing voice. Scotty (on the right) is the ship’s Chief Engineer, who fixes all the problems when Kirk or aliens break the ship. He’s Scottish and you won’t ever forget it. He and Bones are probably drinking buddies.

This is Nurse Chapel. She runs the Medbay when Bones is dancing around on the Bridge or various alien planets. She’s pretty chill and has a little crush on Spock that sometimes causes problems. She and Uhura hang out sometimes.

And finally, this is Yeoman Rand. She and Sulu hang out sometimes. She also vibes with Uhura. I’m not really sure what her exact job is - she delivers food to people sometimes, but she also eats it when no one’s looking. She has the wackiest hairdo on the show. I love her so much.

As far as plot goes, in The Original Series, there isn’t any. They run around on alien planets and sometimes little paper mâché rocks are thrown at them from offscreen. Sometimes they fight Klingons, which are their main enemy (though that doesn’t happen a lot). Sometimes they end up on a planet that’s entirely composed of gangsters from the 1930s and 1940s, sometimes they end up on a planet that’s actually run by the Greek god Apollo, sometimes they end up on a planet but all the people on it are being eaten by space ravioli, sometimes they end up on a planet and a space ghost is killing people to eat their fear, etc. 

You can watch The Original Series on Netflix, and you can generally find copies of it in various Google Drive folders or on video sharing sites like YouTube and Vimeo. There are also six movies: The Motion Picture, The Wrath Of Khan, The Search For Spock, The Voyage Home, The Final Frontier, and The Undiscovered Country. But really you can stop watching after The Voyage Home if you want.

Star Trek: The Next Generation is basically the first series but with more plot, and we have some more aliens plus an android in the mix. Also the characters aren’t nearly as stupid as they are in The Original Series, which makes for less yelling at the screen. (You can watch this on Netflix)

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine focuses on a group of people who work on a space station instead of a spaceship. There are some humans in the mix, but this crew also has a bunch of aliens. There is a bunch of plot, and religion, and the aftermath of war and colonialism. (You can watch this on Netflix)

Star Trek: Discovery has the most plot, and follows Spock’s adopted sister, Michael Burnham, after she accidentally starts the war between the Klingon Empire and the Federation. She ends up serving on a spaceship called the Discovery, where she starts working to discover the secrets of the ship and those who work on it. (You can watch this on CBS’s streaming service but it’s not worth it to get a streaming service just so you can watch one show so I recommend just buying the DVDs on sale at like, Target, if you really wanna see it).

Sorry this ended up being kinda long, I hope this is helpful! The main takeaway is that The Original Series is mostly just a bunch of science fiction short stories in TV episode format. 

[hobbitsetal]

I can’t ever be saved, and what I mean is this: I love my spouse, the kids, a show or game with them, science, experiencing new things, tasting new foods, petting every dog, having a home and other things. Clearly the Bible says if you love the world or things in the world you do not love God and He does not love you. How do I reconcile? How do I hate that which I love and have been blessed with? (I’m aware of the entertainment debate among Christians here as well, and it’s worldly)

Do you imagine your love for God is what saves you? No. “We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” (emphasis mine.)

Let me make myself very clear: what you are saying is a form of an ancient heresy known as Gnosticism, and it was rejected categorically by the church within the first 200 years of Christianity. Indeed, one could argue the apostle John rejects Gnosticism with chapter 4 in declaring, “every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God.“

What is Gnosticism? It’s the belief that anything flesh, anything physical, is sin, and anything spiritual is good. This ignores the theology that God created us to be bodies as well as souls and that God is concerned about our bodies. This ignores that when God created the world, He declared it “good” over and over and over. And it ignores that God doesn’t plan to do away with creation, He intends to remake creation.

I’m quoting John extensively, so let’s take a look at the passage to which you’re referring, 1 John 2:15-17: “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.“

Hermeneutics! Big fancy Greek word meaning “how to study the Bible!” Who wrote it, to whom did he write it, when did he write, what was his purpose in writing it, what did he intend his audience to learn from it, and what does it mean to us today?

John (obviously) wrote 1 John, he wrote it to multiple Christian churches (probably in Asia Minor), he most likely wrote it no later than the 90s AD, he wrote to emphasize what Christ has done for us, I’d argue he wanted his audience to learn more about the love of God from it, and it means...heck, it means a lot to us today. It’s one of my favorite books.

So we know John wrote it. What else did John write? The Gospel of John, 2 and 3 John, and the book of Revelation are all historically/traditionally credited to the Apostle John. What’s a common theme for John? The world.

Here’s the thing: when John says “the world,” he refers to unregenerate mankind. He’s not referring to the created world. St. Augustine made the same divide when he referred to “the city of man vs the city of God.”

This is the only true divide in life: those who are redeemed by Christ and those are opposed to God.

Given this, I do not believe that John is condemning us for enjoying our spouses, entertainment, and children. I'd go further: we ought to praise God for these things!

James 1 says, "Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures. Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls."

I'm quoting this passage at length for several reasons: first and foremost, to remind you that your spouse and children are good gifts. Psalms and Proverbs repeatedly speak of children as a good thing! Marriage itself, and your spouse by extension, is a picture of Christ's relationship with the church. It is not wrong to take joy in what God gives to us. Indeed, we are commanded to take joy in them!

I'm quoting it also because James goes on from "God gives us good things" to say "because God loves us and redeems us and gives us good things, be like God in these ways and put away these sins."

Galatians 5 is another example of this type of passage, and also brings me to my next argument for why you can and should enjoy science, shows and games, and time with your family.

"For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires."

Let me highlight verse 18: "if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law." Our deeds do not save us. How much love we have for God does not save us. The Spirit of the Lord and the sacrifice of Christ and the love of God the Trinity saves us. 

Does spending time with your family, exploring science, or playing a game lead you into immorality? Does it tempt you to fight or get drunk? Or does it promote love within your family, joy in God's creation, kindness toward your children, patience and self control with your family members?

God is an ever-creative God. He crafted our senses, He gave us the intellect to explore His universe, He made us in His image so that we are capable of love and relationship and joy and play and fun. Don't mistake enjoying His gifts to mean we automatically dismiss the Giver.

As a final thought, I encourage you to look up Brad Bigney's "Gospel Treason," either book or sermon series. He explores the concept of idolatry and right worship clearly and well, and I think that would be helpful to you in considering this.

I have strong opinions on the entertainment debate, too, if you're ever interested in hearing those.

[goddessdoeswitchery]

Pillars of Hellenic Polytheism: Technically, the pillars were never actually a “thing”. Unlike then 10 commandments, the pillars were never taught as a set of rules that everyone knew by the name “Pillars of Hellenic Polytheism”, or any variation thereof. What modern day practitioners of Hellenic Polytheism call “The Pillars” were essentially religious and cultural practices that were taught by family and friends via every day practices. The pillars were an essential part of the culture of Ancient Greece, taught to them the same way customs like tipping, saying “bless you” at sneezing, and the now-common practice of wearing a mask everywhere are taught to us today. In recreating Hellenic Polytheism for the modern age, the Pillars grew out of a need for a set of guidelines to help us recreate a very old religion.

First up, Xenia. Xenia means “Guest Friendship” and is a set of rules for when a guest comes calling on your home. This set of rules applies to both the host and guest. It is one of the most sacred rules in Hellenic Polytheism, and features heavily in several myths, as well as the Illiad and the Odyssey. Often times, the myths show what happens when someone fails to follow the rules, and it is never a good thing. Zeus himself, under one of his epithets Zeus Xenios, is the embodiment of the religious obligation of being hospitable as both host and guest. In general, the host was meant to be hospitable. This included providing the guests with food, drink, gifts, protection, and even safe travel to their next destination. The guests were required to not be a burden or a threat, provide news and tales of where they had been, and to reciprocate if the host ever showed up their place. In the Illiad, violation of Xenia led to the Trojan war when Paris, the guest, kidnapped his host’s, Menelaus, daughter. The Achaens were required to avenge this insult, because violating Xenia was a massive insult to Zeus and his authority as Zeus Xenios. In the Odyssey, when the suitors of Penelope begin to eat her out of house and home, they violated Xenia by being a burden to her. They also violate Xenia by being rude their host and the other guests in the home.

But how does someone practice this in the modern world where travel is almost always safe and news is delivered to our home not by bards and guests but by social media and the internet?

Xenia should be a belief that guides us everyday, because everyday we play host or guest in our community. When a friend needs help moving, when a neighbor has lost their animal, when we visit a friend or relative, when we run into an old acquaintance at the store, when we see someone in need, when we run into strangers on the street; anytime you interact with another person, when you visit someone, when you stay at a hotel or AirBNB, even at the voting booth, anytime you deal with someone or have an influence on your community, you have a chance to practice Xenia. Xenia goes beyond the simple rules of guest and host and informs how we interact with everyone everyday, because it is tied to our community, especially with philanthropy.

Let’s break this down bit by bit so you can see good examples of how exactly Xenia can inform each of these interactions. Some of these examples will be simply examples, and some of them will be reflective of real life situations I or others have faced in the last few months.

A few years back, the home I shared with my mom, my sister, and my children caught fire. We were left with very few personal items, and no place to live. My uncle, who lived several hundred miles away, practiced Xenia by offering to pay for the deposit and move in fees for an apartment complex. The community we lived in practiced good Xenia by donating items we badly needed, such as beds, clothing, toys for the kids, and much needed housewares like microwaves, pots and pans, and silverware. Several members of the community organized a drive to help us replace many of the items we lost and guided us to food banks that helped us with electricity deposits and the first few months’ worth of bills. Every person we interacted with practiced Xenia, even if they had no idea that they were doing so at the time.

About 2 years ago, we found a small dog in front of our local grocery store. There was no collar, no chip, and the poor thing was half-starved and filthy. We took it home, cleaned it, cared for it, and then took actions to return the puppy to her rightful owner. We put up signs, made posts on Facebook, called every animal shelter in 80 miles, and searched lost and found pages, groups, and posts on every social media site we could think of. 3 days later, we found the owners, a newlywed couple who had come home to find the front door of their home open and the puppy they had gotten 2 weeks ago gone. When we took care of the animal and made every effort to find her owner, we put into practice the basic principles of Xenia by playing good hosts to the animal in our care. Xenia does not just inform our actions for people, but is also informs how we should treat every living thing.

Now for an example that includes both good and bad xenia, in it’s purest form of being a guest and a host. Say you are visiting family out of town, and you bring a bottle of wine. The wine is a good gift on your part as a guest, and is an example of good xenia. You don’t overstay your welcome, you go home early because you know your hosts have an early morning the next day, you take care to not cause any mess, and you use your manners flawlessly. Then, 2 weeks later, your host pays a visit to you. They bring their spouse and kids along. They fail to bring any gift, allow their kids to eat all the snacks in your cupboard, drink all of your soda that was supposed to last all week, overstay their welcome by sticking around for dinner even when it is obvious that you didn’t plan on having an extra 5 people over for dinner, don’t clean up after their kids or even watch them, and don’t leave until after 10 pm even though you mention time and again that you have to leave at 6 tomorrow morning for an early start to work. Outside of paying a return visit to you, your guests have been a perfect example of how to violate the rules of Xenia at every turn. And we all have one of those friends or family. The ones who never can take a hint and eventually wind up being unwelcome at your house, or any other simply because they’ve violated the rules of Xenia so often.

When we run into strangers or acquaintances, we can practice good Xenia by simply inquiring after them, if they have the time. Simply saying “Hey, how’s it going?” or “How are you?” can go a long way in being an extension of Xenia outside the home. My job has made Xenia a rule of thumb without knowing even know it, by insisting that we Stand, Smile, and Greet every customer, move around the counter to sit with them at a table when taking an application, and take the time to get to know them. We offer small snacks and candies, bottle of water alongside soda and coffee, and as a result, we practice good xenia as a whole throughout the company.

Xenia also intersects with philanthropy when we see someone in need. Donating to food banks, charities that enforce the rules of xenia like homeless shelters, and even engaging in personal donations to those in need are all good way to practice Xenia on a regular basis and literally put your money where your mouth is as a practitioner of Hellenic Polytheism. Even at the voting booth, we can practice Xenia by ensuring that those we vote for uphold those values by supporting immigrants, providing for the homeless, feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, and assisting those who need it. By ensuring that we vote for those who practice Xenia every day and put it into policy, we can support our community.

Last, but definitely not least, Xenia guides our relationship with our own gods. The gods give to us every day, and we can reciprocate in kind. We can let our altars serve as their home, ensuring it is clean and kept in good repair. We can make sure we have appropriate offerings (this can even include something as simple as clean water, bread, incense smoke, or a dash of olive oil). We can welcome them to our home with prayers and praises. We can remember that when they come to our altars, they are guests in our home and we must, above all, treat them as such.

In short, Xenia is a practice, a Pillar that informs our every day life. Some extensions of Xenia are called “good manners”, some of them are called “being a good neighbor”, and some are called “being a good citizen”. We all have practiced and expected Xenia as a part of our lives at some point or another. As I mentioned in the beginning of this podcast, Xenia, as a part of the pillars, is not a simple commandment. It is a way of life, expected of us at every turn. It is a pillar, not just of Hellenic Polytheism, but of our lives.

For references, I relied heavily on the Illiad and the Odyssey, both of which I own. I also pulled from Wikipedia, the Xenia comic by Greek Myth Comix, Hellenic Polytheism by Chris Aldridge, Hellenic Polytheism: Household Worship, and Mythology of the Greeks: Legends Anterior to and Contemporary with the Trojan War to 1183 BC to the First Olympiad, 776 BC by George Grote.

Thanks for listening to this episode of “Hellenic Polytheism 101”, a short lecture on Xenia as a Pillar of Hellenic Polytheism. For a transcript of this podcast, you can visit goddesssdoeswitchery.tumblr.com, and look for the tag “Hellenic Polytheism 101 transcripts”. There you will find a link to the references, including an amazon link to the books I referenced, outside of the one by George Grote, as it is 164 years old. You can also ask me any questions there. Don’t forget to tune in for the next episode, coming August 23rd, about Kharis.

[vhab1]

How to Change Mental Habits

To Thrive we must Strive

Thrive

verb

1) grow or develop well or vigorously

2) prosper, flourish

Wouldn’t it be great if we could thrive as a matter of habit? When you stop and think about it, that’s the only way you can thrive. Let’s take a baby as an example.

When a baby is developing well, flourishing even, she doesn’t do so only for one day. Babies sleep, eat, poop, play and repeat the cycle a few times a day. It is silly to say an infant child thrives for just one day.

In order for the baby to grow into a happy child and, ideally, a happy adult, the habit of thriving must be established early. For unfortunate kids who don’t have consistency of nutrition, love, and protection, it can be tough to thrive.

When we grow up to adulthood ourselves, it’s easy to forget thriving is a habit. It’s not a herky-jerky affair marked by fits and starts. The program and process of VHAB is built to foster consistency. We created it to address self-destructive mental habits. If your serious setting your sails to find Thrive Island, VHAB will help you make way.

How to change, that’s the question. One of the most important steps you can take is defining your goal. Unfortunately, many people settle for far less than they could have if only they would change, and think more boldly.

So, I challenge you to set your goals high. If you’re going to take a closer look at your substance use, if you’re willing to be honest with yourself, examine the role of substance habits in your life, and do the hard work of building new mental habits, why not make the effort with thriving as your goal.

Anything short of vigorously developing well, or making some partway habit change, is only going to leave you dissatisfied. But what is the best way to set a goal and thrive? If you want to know how to change your mental habits, you’ve got to think from a global perspective

Global Approach

We’re not going to hit you with more definitions in this section. When I refer to global habits, I’m really getting at a new way of thinking for your whole life. Many people make the mistake of trying to change a mental habit in isolation. This usually goes poorly.

Let’s take an example from psychology research: decision fatigue. The concept is best addressed with a little story.

Imaging you’ve decided to go on a diet. I know, in real life you might not even to need to lose weight. But just pretend along with me for a moment. Say you’ve been home for a few weeks.

Maybe on summer vacation or a COVID-19 quarantine. I don’t know why you’re stuck at home, but to break out of the depression caused by your spare tire, you decide to cut back on the calories and shed some pounds.

You start fresh in the morning, leaving the sugar out of your coffee and skipping cereal in favor of a couple of high-protein eggs. Looking good so far. Lunch comes, and again you choose well. The soup and 1/2 sandwich instead of your usual double-cheeseburger with a side of fries, and you begin to feel the pounds melting away already.

Holding on task through an afternoon of snack cravings, you have a glass of water with a slice of lemon instead of ruining your calorie plan. You find the diet advice you received to be excellent and, targeting your “macros” a piece of grilled fish and and some steamed vegetables wraps up a perfect day of your new diet plan.

Then you put on some streaming TV, binge a couple episodes, and eat a pint of Hagen Dazs rocky road. Of course, I’ve never followed this pattern.

Kidding. This is basically the anatomy of decision fatigue. Stanford researchers have confirmed how hard it is to stick with a new mental habit that requires multiple sequential decisions. We get tired of being good all the time.

Maia Szalavitz, author of the excellent book Unbroken Brain, wrote an article in Time in 2011 on the matter of decision fatigue. She concludes:

“Overall, the body of evidence suggests that it’s best to view willpower as something that can be strengthened like a muscle: hard work will improve your endurance and discipline. Believing in your ability to fortify your willpower will in turn help you persist.”

So if Maia is right, and I think she is, we have to cultivate willpower like we would any other skill. We get better at a sport or a at playing an instrument by practicing. It may be hard to admit, but if you have bad mental habits–ones you want to change–you also built those by repetition. As Will Durant said, “we are what we repeatedly do.”

So how do we get on the path of change so we’ll arrive at new mental habits?

Simple. We have to use what I call “the Four Gets.” Here we go.

Get Get Get Get

The four “gets” are exactly how to change mental habits.

Here they are so we can jump right in.

Get Clear, Get a Why, Get Away, Get a Guy (or Gal)

Get Clear.

You have to be clear about the new mental habits you want to cultivate. In my experience, clarity and extreme precision of your desires are essential. Most people never even make it this far in the process. They set murky finish lines and never know if they’re getting closer to their new mental habits.

Take VHAB for example. A critical part of the process is clearly recording your alcohol and/or substance intake. A lot of times when a doctor asks a patient how much she drinks, she’ll respond with, “I drink socially.” People often minimize the amount of their alcohol intake because overdrinking is embarrassing to admit to another person.

This is understandable and, like all of us, we try to preserve our social status. Overdrinking looks bad so we fudge the truth when confronted. But like the Rocky Road example above, if we’re lying to ourselves about our habits, we’ve got no shot at changing them. Like Benjamin Franklin said, failing to plan is planning to fail.

You have to be clear about what you want and what you’re doing to accomplish it. I always feel uncomfortable committing to a specific course of action. I hate to give up the flexibility that clarity entails. But I love the results of picking, and sticking to a clear plan.

Get a Why.

As Nietzsche said:“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

I won’t bullshit you, this stuff is hard. If you’re reading an article on how to change mental habits, you already know it isn’t easy to stop cravings, self-sabotage, and regrettable behavior.

I used to think happiness was a life without struggle or difficulty. Smooth sailing, so to speak, was how you would know you were “doing it right.” I was naive. I’m sure this concept fed into my use of narcotics and alcohol. Bliss without struggle as utopian ideal.

Reality reveals life is hard. It’s difficult even if your parents paved the way with education, guidance and privilege. Even if you’re born in the greatest country on Earth, you speak the language, and you are of sound mind and body, making it from cradle to grave isn’t a pleasure cruise.

The Old German Philosopher hammers it home when he suggests the hard times are a requirement for a good life:

Examine the lives of the best and most fruitful people and peoples and ask yourselves whether a tree that is supposed to grow to a proud height can dispense with bad weather and storms; whether misfortune and external resistance, some kinds of hatred, jealousy, stubbornness, mistrust, hardness, avarice, and violence do not belong among the favorable conditions without which any great growth even of virtue is scarcely possible.

What’s the secret to making it through the hard parts? You need a reason why. I finally stopped using drugs because I didn’t want to die an overdosed drug addict. After countless experimentation, trial and error, I concluded quitting was the only way to survive. In order to quit, I needed a reason why. Self-respect was my ‘why’.

Get a Way

If you hang around the barber shop long enough, you’re going to get a haircut. This old expression I first heard in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. The message is simple: spend time in places where drinking alcohol is the norm, and eventually you’re likely to drink. Since A.A. people are trying to stay sober, they naturally advise their members to get away from situations that usually lead to drinking.

This applies to people as well. I had a core group of drinking buddies. Before I quit, we had a lot in common. After I gave up drinking, we had much less to discuss. I had to make a clean break from my regular bar and the routine, or habits, went with it.

Cues stimulate cravings. A lot of mental habits you don’t like are fostered by hanging around an environment associated with your old routine. It’s not just barflies at the rail. It’s the “reward at the end of the work day” in the form of an alcoholic drink. It’s also the Rocky Road ice cream in the freezer.

The secret: change your routine. Skipping the bar is a easy one. you can find healthier ways to burn off stress, such as a walk or a trip to the gym. You can also change your routine by keeping the ice cream (if that’s your guilty pleasure) out of your freezer. If you don’t bring it home from the store, it won’t beckon to you late at night.

Get a Guy (or Gal)

People who quit smoking with a friend are more than twice as likely to achieve their goal. Weight loss and fitness get a huge boost when you have someone to work out with. A gym buddy is an enormous help when you have trouble sticking with your commitment.

If you want to change your mental habits, you must have what I call and accountability partner. Someone who observes and even encourages you to stick with your plan can make the difference. It makes no sense why telling another person about your plans and goals should be so helpful. I have a feeling it is because we don’t want to lose status in the eyes of our friends.

If I promise myself I won’t eat a whole bag of Tate’s cookies, but nobody is there to check on me, I will have a rough time staying in control. Tate’s, especially the thin oatmeal raisin cookies, are made in a divine bakery somewhere. If the Greek Gods high up on Mount Olympus run out of Ambrosia, they grab a sack of Tate’s cookies.

But when I put them in a clear glass mason jar (with a flip lock), everyone can see if Dad went overboard on the cookies. Tate’s is smart: they sell their cookies in an opaque green package. Nobody can tell if you had one or a whole tray. The bad looks the same before and after, but the jar makes cookie nibbling public. Take this advice if you want help to find a new way of thinking.

Obviously, we don’t have cookie police at my house. But if the old man is hitting the cookies too hard, I’ll hear it from my wife or the kids. I mean, there it is: no hiding the truth.

In elementary school, when you went on a field trip, were you assigned a buddy? Sometimes the teacher will let the kids choose their own. Buddies are an extra pair of eyes and ears to each of you stays safe. They do the same thing in the Army, and we do the same thing in VHAB if you want to change a habit.

A.A. uses this concept for their “sponsors.” A sponsor isn’t someone who pays for your sports equipment. It’s another person who’s been through trying to quit drinking. Think of a sponsor in this context like a mentor. But I think anyone can be your accountability partner, because the key is your honesty. Not what your “gal” or “guy” tells you.

The post How to Change Mental Habits appeared first on VHAB.

from VHAB https://www.vhab.com/how-to-change-mental-habits/

[brittabottt]

Okay! It is here! It is not great, but it is here. Please feel free to send any commentary or hopes for this fic that you have. The next segment will have more of a focus on Raven and Murphy. (I’m saving my beloved Octavia for last...)

The overhead lights flickered a little differently by 2am. Fluorescent bulbs didn’t seem to be so sickly when they dimmed. Instead, the light was more a soft hum, a subtle glow. Not many of the students knew this, of course, because the library legally closed at 1am. But, as Clarke had found out her sophomore year, if you were close with the librarian (thanks to your mom being one of the university’s doctors) they’d let you stay past closing.

She longed for the quiet of the university’s library. When the marble floors didn’t echo with student’s footsteps, pacing with nerves, rushing to find an open space to study away from distractions, trying to locate the ideal book to assist in yet another term paper. When the wood arches, with their elaborate designs, emphasizing the historic nature of the library, where the only company she had. That, and her easel and paints, set up in one of the individual study rooms with large windows, offering a perfect shot of the moon.

Clarke had her painting space set up just so by 2:15, the little radio she had brought sat in the open doorway of the study room, playing an oldies CD her mom had always had on. One paintbrush tucked in her hair, holding the blonde strands back in a slight bun, and another tipped in indigo and angled just so towards her canvas, she was ready to paint the night sky.

“Hey princess, you mind turning that down. Some of us are actually trying to study.”

Clarke dropped the brush, the angled tip coated in indigo splashed on her book bag underneath her, thankfully saving the floors beneath. She swiverled on her heel. No one was here at this hour. No one.

And yet, there stood Bellamy Blake, his hair more tousled than usual, as if he’d spent the last several hours running his fingers through it in an anxious tick as he poured over page and page of greek mythology. She’d known him in passing mostly. Or, more accurately, from competition, mostly. They’d had nearly every core requirement classes together, naturally becoming enemies and competitors for the top marks on day one. In freshman literature, they’d been paired up together to complete a book report for their mid term. It had required the reading of three of the assigned novels and a presentation comparing and contrasting the novels and highlighting the key themes. The themes were subjective and Clarke and Bellamy had spent the majority of the given time arguing said theme.

“You’re not looking at the works critically, Bellamy,” Clarke had scoffed one too many times in a library study room much like the one they were currently standing in. “Take the time period into context to understand the heart of the story.”

“Heart of the story?” Bellamy had replied, one too many times. “Clarke I don’t think you could find a pulse in these novels if it was right in front of your face. Which it is, by the way.” He’d have hopped off the edge of the desk at this point. Bellamy seemed to always find new places and ways to sit, making Clarke annoyed, sitting cross legged in her own seat. Like a normal person.

“I don’t need to critically analyze the books,” Bellamy said in air quotes. “That’s been done. And will be done, mind you, by every other overachieving type A in that class. What we need to do is look at the characters. Look into the emotions. Why should we care about these stories? What is the heart of that?”

Their arguments would continue for hours, finally ending with Bellamy rolling his eyes and leaving the study room to head to dinner before the dining hall closed and with Clarke rewriting their entire group analysis. In the end, they’d each present a different angle, Clarke looking at the thought behind the story, and Bellamy digging into the depth of the characters of the story. Their English professor, blind to the competition brewing between the two, was amazed by their “work ethic” and placed both of them. From that day on, Bellamy and Clarke, despite following two very different tracks at university, competed in every possible way.

And apparently, late hours at the library had been added to that list.

“What are you doing here, Bellamy?” Clarke retorted, trying to regain her standing after splashing her bookbag purple.

Bellamy leaned against the door frame, stack of books tucked under his arm.

“Same as you, working.” He lifted a book from the stack, showing her an old copy of The Iliad with sticky notes popping out.

Clarke rolled her eyes. Any chance he could get, he’d use that book as a reference point in their coursework. Their sophomore year, during a biology lab, he swore he could find a way to link the two, much to Clarke’s frustration. That was also the year he, obviously, declared his minor in Classics with a focus on Ancient Greece, and the first year his sister, Octavia Blake, attended the university, with a similar love for mythology. However, Clarke could tolerate the other Blake more, as Octavia also had a passion for the more left-brained subjects, specifically Ecology.

“Well maybe you should work,” Clarke said, moving towards Bellamy in a hopes to get him to leave her in peace and quiet she so desperately wanted, “during regular library hours.” Stopping just a mere few inches from him, she caught a whiff of the smell she’d also remembered so much from their first few years of course work together. Something pine and cedar, stimulating and calming, all at once. Bellamy seemed to always remind her of summer days spent in the woods back home so much that despite his presence annoying her to her core, she’d also constantly felt safe around him. Kind of like at home.

“What, so you can have your royal chambers to yourself?” Bellamy took a step forward, closing the gap between the two and evidently causing Clarke to take a step back into the study room. “No way princess. You’re not the only one on a first name basis with the librarian. Kane keeps the lights on after hours for me too.” He had a smirk tugging his lips so bright that Clarke stared a moment longer before rolling her eyes and turning on her heel back towards her canvas. “Fine,” she said finally. “But pick any other study room besides this one. I’ll pretend you’re not here and you leave me alone.” She picked up the paintbrush from the ground, dipping it in the water cup placed at the edge of the desk and removed the brush from her hair. The blonde locks fell along her back as Clarke swiped the other brush through the indigo paint, determined to finally start her art.

“Fine,” Bellamy replied, expecting to turn and exit the study room, having his fun tormenting the uptight artist. But for some reason, he couldn’t gather himself to leave just yet. His eyes lingered a moment longer on the golden hair trailing down her back, the softness of skin of her shoulders. The way her entire being seemed to lighten as she painted, so different from the rigid and routined pre-med student she usually was, gunning for the top grades in university. This Clarke was different.

“Today, Bellamy,” Clarke said, not tearing her eyes away from the canvas or pausing her hand making delicate and precise strokes, crafting the background of a night sky. “Leave, today please.” She clarified when she still hadn’t heard his footsteps and the closing of the study room.

Thankful that Clarke hadn’t turned around as she spoke, as his cheeks were now slightly rosy, he rolled his eyes and regained his composure. “As Her Majesty requests,” Bellamy sneered, giving a mock bow as he finally turned and exited the study room.

When the footsteps had safely echoed down the marble floors, and another study room door opened and slammed shut, Clarke allowed herself to stop. She sighed, placing the paintbrush on the edge of the easel and turned towards the door. Taking a few steps towards the frame, she pressed on the wood, leaning her head out of the door way and down in the direction of the other study room being used. Bellamy was infuriating as hell, and yet, there was also something so comforting about him. A little part of her that only seemed to light up around her mom came out when she was near him. But, like everytime those thoughts gathered, she pushed them away before they could even reach her consciousness. Bellamy Blake, at the end of the day, was all heart and no head. And if Clarke was going to achieve top marks in her pre-med program and make it into the top medical school, while also pursuing her art, she had no time for matters of the heart, simply the head.

[profoundnet]

Profound Member Post - April 2019

Header by @cryptomoon​​ and is available on merch from her redbubble store. You can use all those fancy emojis (and more!) on our Discord Server!

The Masterpost is open for all creations by ProfoundBond members which are posted in entirely during that month.

MEMBER CONTRIBUTIONS FOR APRIL 2019! (sorry for the late one!)

Masterpost below the cut.

MaggieMaybe160 - @maggiemaybe160​ - MaggieMaybe160

Love is a Random Wednesday

400 word fic for a one word prompt based on the word "Love"

Tags: Extreme Fluff

SFW

Regarding Us

(s12e11 Fic) Dean's memory is quickly fading. As Sam and Rowena scramble to find a way to reverse it, Cas tells Dean their story.

Tags: Major Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Grief and Mourning

SFW

No Way to Heal

Remember that handprint Castiel left on Dean’s shoulder? Dean can feel it flair with pain when Cas is in danger.

Tags: Major Character Death, Unrequited Love, Angst

SFW

Be My Superman

Steve is a total dork. Cute, but completely off limits and not at all Dean’s type. He either forgets to take off his work vest, or just doesn’t care. He’s constantly wearing that royal blue polyester vest that could blind anyone if the sun hit it right. His nametag is always pinned just perfectly over his chest, declaring him “Steve.” His dark brown hair is combed, parted on the side, and gelled in place. His eyes are the most stunning part of him. They’re a gorgeous blue that shine and Dean tries not to look for too long because he’s also pretty sure Steve is straight.

Tags: Canon Divergent. Two Sided Love Triangle. Fluff and Angst. Sick Dean Winchester.

SFW

The Eldritch Horrors and Dean��

(post episode s14e14) Michael is gone. The bunker is calm. Cas finally comes clean to the Winchesters about the deal he made with the Empty. While Dean deals with this news, Amelia Bedelia, the Eldritch Horror, is freed and starts to wreak havoc all over Lebanon.

Tags: Major Character Death. Angst and Crack. Murder. Horror.

SFW

The Size of Our Rainbow

Dean and Cas try out a new dildo on Cas because it's too big for Dean. Fic for Pic exchange with my friend.

Tags: Size Kink. Bottom Cas/Top Dean. Porn Without Plot. Anal Sex. Blow job. Rimming. Dildo play.

NSFW

With art by @demonfleet​

April Fools in the Bunker

It's April Fools Day in the bunker. With the Winchesters and their pranks, will Cas and Jack live up to the prank wars? This bunker is in a war zone.

Tags: Crack Fic. April Fools Day Pranks.

SFW

drawlight - @drawlight​ - drawlight

Terminus Est

The gates close every night at the final, ninth, toll of the bell. Nox. They have never failed. Dean has forgotten the time and is outside. No one survives a night out past the gates after Nox. That is the time of darkness; that is where the Others walk.

Tags: Post-Apocalypse, Android Castiel, Forbidden Love, Medieval Analogue, First Time, Alternate Universe - Dystopia

NSFW 

shealynn88 - @shealynn88​ - shealynn88

Are We Human

Set generally mid-S5. "Dean glances over, wondering how much time it takes for light to bounce from Cas’s cheek to Dean’s eyes. How long for Cas to be seen. And if that light ever makes it back to whatever is inside that human vessel he carries around like another trench coat."

Tags: Stolen Moments, First Kiss

SFW

LeafZelindor - @leafzelindor​ - LeafZelindor 

The Scent of You 

Cas really has a thing for Dean's smell, he just hasn't told Dean that. Stealing his clothes might not be the best answer, but it'll do for now.

Tags: supernaturalkinkbingo2019, scent kink, pining,

NSFW

CrowleyLovesUSUK - @crowley-loves-usuk - CrowleyLovesUSUK

A/S/L

When Dean Winchester’s fiancé announced that she was pregnant by another man and walked out, Dean swore off relationships. He couldn’t even bring himself to have casual sex, with the notable exception of a single eye-opening night. Three years later, Dean’s brother Sam has had enough. A sibling argument leads to Dean signing up for a popular dating site, ‘A Profound Bond.’ When Dean’s first match opens their chat conversation with an outdated query, Dean has to decide if he can move past the other man’s awkward 1990s introduction, and finally take another chance on love.

Tags: Alternate Universe-Modern, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Online Dating, Light BDSM, Spanking, Top Cas/Bottom Dean, Dirty Talk

NSFW

nickelkeep - @nickelkeep - nickelkeep

Like Home

Castiel's twin sister Hannah is getting married, and as the Man of Honor, he's been along for the Bridal Show and Wedding Planning ride. After talking about the last one with his best friend/roommate Dean, Dean suddenly wants to tag along (mostly for the free food). Can Cas handle pretending to be engaged to his best friend?

Tags: AU - Modern Setting, Fluff, AU - Roommates, Pining, Mutual Pining, Wedding Planning, Minor Angst, First Kiss, Castiel and Dean need to use their words. SFW

Anteros

Dean is stuck on some research for a book he is writing. Thanks to some help from his friend, he is able to get an audience with the premier expert of Greek Mythology. Part 2 of the Reincarnation Tales series.

Tags: AU - 1910s, AU- Reincarnation, Past Lives, Immortality, Memory Loss, Mythology References

SFW

Blue-Eyed Guy

Cas froze as the singer broke into the chorus. He had heard that song only an hour ago. It should be a brown-eyed girl.

Tags: Fluff, Light Angst, Pining, First Kiss, Singing in the Impala, Singing in the Shower, Songfic: Brown-Eyed Girl, Love Confessions, SPN Song Challenge Bingo SFW

MittensMorgul - @mittensmorgul - MittensWraith

Worst Case Scenario

Their lives have always masqueraded as works of fiction, but for anyone they've ever interacted with, there's a scarily high chance that someday they'll discover the strangest events of their lives have been immortalized in a moderately obscure series of pulp horror novels. For Sam, Dean, and Cas, this is old news. For the people who've learned the truth, it's often a life-changing experience. Here's the story of a handful of those lucky... yeah, let's call them lucky... people whose lives intersected once upon a time with the Winchesters. And the stories they get to tell the Winchesters.

Tags: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Humor, Case Fic, wherein team free will becomes the case, Post-Canon, Sam's Orange Jacket, The Winchester Gospels (Supernatural), Sharing a Bed

NSFW

Darmys - @darmysasagiri - Darmys (Pillowfort)

Long Road Home - Home Is Where The Heart Is

Sam and Dean Winchester along with the crew of the Royal Sovereign are renegades. Their only hope lies across the fabled Highroad. There, in the birthplace of humanity they face treachery and madness, all in the quest to find a home. This is the third part of a massive space opera trilogy. Based on the original work of Alis A. Rasmussen.

Tags: AU - The Highroad Trilogy, AU - Space Opera, Past Benny/Dean, Past Dean/Nick Munroe, Robot!Baby, Canon Typical deaths, Canon-Typical Violence, Period-Typical Racism, Referenced Past Rape/Non-con

SFW

A Bite to Remember 

Alphas can't mate Alphas, everyone knows this, or do they?

Tags: Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Alpha,Alpha!Cas, Alpha!Dean, Mating, Bites, Come Inflation, Top!Cas/Bottom!Dean, Messy Bottom Alpha Dean, One Night Stands

NSFW

Jemariel - @jemariel - Jemariel 

Chicken Soup for Breakfast

Written for a Two AU prompt challenge: Werewolf AU + Sick fic

Tags: hurt/comfort, werewolf!Cas, sick fic, SFW

iCeDreams - iCeDreams

Look at this Food (Isn't it Neat?)

Dean swims up to shore and steals one of the best things he's ever tasted.

Tags: Little Mermaid Elements, Fairy Tale, Mermaid Dean, Hamburger

SFW

Dive Bars, Beers, and Names

Castiel isn't usually asked for his name, but when he does, he certainly has opinions on how he's called.

Tags: Walk Into A Bar, Sassy Castiel

SFW

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blueeyesandpie - @blueeyesandpie - blueeyesandpie

No Right to Ask, No Reason to Give

Existential dread totally pairs well with spontaneous love confessions. Right?

Tags: Episode 14x20 coda, love confessions, canon compliant, angst, canon typical violence

SFW

Time is a Flat Circle

Lineart headshot of Castiel from sharkfish's Riptides.

Tags: Castiel, drug use (marijuana)

SFW

For a fic by Sharkfish

Wandering Angel

Illustration of Castiel from MaggieMaybe160's Wandering Angel.

Tags: Castiel, grief, past MCD in fic

SFW

For a fic by @maggiemaybe160

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Carrieosity - @carrieosity - Carrieosity (Pillowfort)

Castiel, in Loco Parentis

Some days at Castiel's library are harder than others. (Prompt from saltnhalo: "Fantasy AU with librarian Cas.") Notes: Based on an actual event at my own library, to me personally. (Though with less magic involvement.)

Tags: Librarian Castiel, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Fluff, Fairies, Libraries

SFW

One for the Books

When Castiel is selected to serve on an award council for the national library association, Dean couldn't be more proud of his amazing boyfriend. He had no idea what was about to happen. (Or: Castiel apologizes for nearly burying them both alive in piles of books with a promise and a question.) Part 5 of the "Understanding That Reference" series!

Tags: Librarian Castiel, Mechanic Dean, Libraries,Books, Fluff and Humor, Marriage Proposal

SFW

Make a Little History, Baby

When Dean chose his thesis subject, he wanted to capture someone else's fascinating story. He had no idea it would turn into a story of his own. (Tumblr prompt, anonymous: "What about archivist Castiel and grad student Dean? Maybe they finally meet after corresponding long-distance when Dean finally gets a small grant for travel funds for his dissertation?)

Tags: Archivist Castiel, Graduate Student Dean, Alternate Universe - College/University, Gratuitous History, Self-Indulgent, Long-Distance Friendship, Friends to Lovers

SFW

Hear Him Calling for my Soul

Castiel's soulmark was heartbreaking; Dean had no soulmark at all. Of course, at the end of the world, nobody's paying attention to soulmarks at all any more, let alone what they might mean. (Prompt, from holy-tax-accountant: "apocalypse/soulmate? Destiel or DCJ - Please and thanks so much")

Tags: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Human, First Meetings, Deaf Character, Deaf Dean Winchester, Soulmarks

Payback is a Bitch, Jerk

Dean and Sam have been embroiled in a prank war for most of their lives. Some things are off-limits, though. Luckily, Dean's new coworker might have a solution. (Prompt: "Prank War/Nurse (or hospital) AU; Destiel!")

Tags: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Human, First Meetings, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Bees, Fluff and Humor

SFW