#also following other sports is also good for your 1 sports mentality. which you clearly don’t have and 2 times off

[lunaticamic]

it may be a controversial take but some of you guys really need to get laid. whatever

[baku-bowl]

broke 1,000 followers (the fuck? I don't even make content people), so decided to write up a list of some (but not all, I'll make other lists later) of my favorite Bakugou-centric fic recs. my tastes run towards hurt/comfort, as you'll probably figure from the list. if there are some Baku-centric fics that you've enjoyed that aren't on here, please add them - this is definitely not a complete list of the ones I've read and love, but I'm always up for some recs. <3

fair warning, most of these are wips.

------------------------------------------------

Social Media 101 by WindsChild8178

Part 1: Survival Guide to Fucking Up

[Solely Bakugou’s point of view]

Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t have a gentle bone in his body. He’s aggressive in everything he does and does everything with 100% of his heart in it. After the Sport’s Festival, Katsuki starts to get harassed by strangers for his unheroic demeanor. It starts with letters but it doesn’t end there. The moment Katsuki realizes the harassment has entered dangerous territory and he needs to tell someone, it’s already too late.

Part 2: Post Traumatic Life Disorder

[Point of View opens up to Bakugou, teachers and classmates]

When the Dorms are finally built, everyone is settling in well, but things become tense as people begin to realize something isn’t right with the recently rescued Bakugou.

[Cannon compliant right up to after the License Exam]

hands down my favorite fic in the fandom right now. it’s the one that converted me into a Bakugou lover. if you have any fondness for Bakugou as a character then it’s likely you’ve read this one already, but if not, I can’t recommend it enough. incredibly depressing, but with the hope that comfort is coming soon in the next few chapters.

The Kids Will Be Alright, Eventually by NotWithThatAttitude

Bakugou is spiraling in the aftermath of Kamino and his friends are starting to notice. He's stubborn, aggressively independent, and less than willing to dig into his past, but after a breakdown that ends with a painful secret revealed, he starts to get help.

Whether he likes it or not.

Meanwhile, a new kind of villain threatens an uneasy peace following the loss of Allmight. Whispers build as a new narrative slowly takes shape:

Hero society needs to change.

Feat. Therapy, Dadzawa, best boy Kirishima, dysfunctional families, healing, growing up, and the mortifying ordeal of being known

guys.. the medical accuracy of this fic is just... *chef’s kiss*

I rarely see mental health genuinely handled well in fics, but this one goes above and beyond. kudos to the author for doing such excellent research into psychology, and making the application of it in here not-boring. also, while this one does have abusive!Mitsuki, it’s done in a way that feels realistic, and how I usually will see it occur in real life, rather than just for the hurt/comfort feels.

fair warning, the fic can be incredibly triggering (themes of severe depression, PTSD, panic attacks, rape survival, abuse survival, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, among other things), so be safe and heed the tw’s if you decide to read. legitimately one of my Top Favorite fics in this fandom.

Lock and Key by autochorystalize

Bakugou made a choked, gravelly noise before croaking out a low, “You can’t be serious.” His fingers ached to blow up everything in the room.

“I’m sorry, young man, but you can’t change reality! This sometimes happens.” Recovery Girl clicked through his file, adding a new symbol in a previously empty slot.

- - -

A pair of eyes discreetly locked on to an explosive blond plowing his way forward, parting people in his path. He recognized the kid, of course. Anyone in the underbelly of society would recognize him, after the publicity of both UA’s Sports Festival and the events leading up to All Might’s fall. The uniform he was wearing cast away any doubts about the young man’s identity.

It was a bit of a surprise that the little firecracker presented as an omega.

- - - - - - - - -

Or: there are certain types of evil that seemed too distant, archaic violations and perversions that would never actually threaten bright-eyed heroes-in-training in the clean, modern world...but sometimes those evils aren't as distant as one might think.

remember when I said that I love a/b/o fics that are full of plot and world-building and gender-induced tension? that’s this one. the OC’s are fabulous and you love to hate ‘em. also, it’s the fic that made me fall head-over-heels for the TodoBaku dynamic, so it’s got a special place in my cold, dead heart. 

be warned, there are rather explicit non-con scenes between an adult (OC) and a minor (Bakugou) in this one, but the author warns for them in advance, and you could likely skip those parts without missing too much if you need to.

Never and Always, Eventually by Wawa_Boonliang

"Katsuki can remember the exact moment that he and Deku…that he and Midoriya Izuku became friends. He can also remember the moment he and Izuku became fierce rivals, a time when they were almost enemies.

However, what he remembers most clearly about their relationship is the moment that they moved passed rivals and became something more close than mere friends. Something more like brotherhood, something forged in fire and secured in the middle of a battlefield or in the midst of natural disaster where the number of the dead was climbing ever higher. And then it was torn from him."

Katsuki is given a second chance. A chance to save everyone. A chance to change everything.

But should he?

y’all. I’m a slutty, slutty whore for time travel fics. a time travel fic with autistic!coded Bakugou? it was love at first read.

Lessons Learned by Sif (Rosae)

Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack.

Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out.

classic Bakugou hurt/comfort. this fic opened me up to the potential that could be a genuinely good Best Jeanist & Katsuki mentor-mentee relationship, and I kind of dig it and search ravenously for it in other fics now. I’m also a huge fan of the behind-the-scences Pro Hero Chat group.

Slope by sunfleurmoon

“I’m not a hero. Or a good person,” Katsuki says, giving Aizawa a pointed look, “So leave me alone. I don’t care about the League or UA, or you—” The two years he’s been away have been fine, more than fine, fucking fantastic actually if you ignore the bi-monthly near-death experiences. He doesn’t need this place. He doesn’t miss this place.

And yet, longing, a childish desire to tear up, or maybe blow something to bits, they all twist in his chest like a band of traitors regardless. “—I just want to go home.”

Or: the one where Katsuki and Izuku fail the first term exam, Aizawa discovers their pasts, and Katsuki is booted from UA. Featuring questionable descriptions of villain organizations, a slightly illegal moving shop, and your favorite emotionally constipated badass in distress with a newly discovered penchant for collecting strays.

paaaaaaiiiiiiiin. the hurt is ALIVE in this one. lots of tortured, angsty exploding child goodness. the OC’s are excellently crafted, and the Bakugou & Eri relationship? beautiful. definitely deserves a read.

Ground Zero by WindsChild8178

In the wake of Kamino, Katsuki is tested more than anyone could imagine. Bound by a villain’s quirk to keep his silence or die, he lives each day knowing it might very well be his last. He continues to work towards becoming a hero, keeping his secret from his classmates and teachers, focusing on making it through each day and trying not to allow the panic or depression to get the best of him. When the villain finally corners him with demands in exchange for his life, there is really only one answer Katsuki Bakugou can give.

honestly don't know which I want updated more - social media 101 or ground zero. this author's fics are amazing, and I really wasn't expecting the twist in this one. can't wait for windschild to come back to this fic some day.

The Defect by LadyGreenFrisbee

"Why do you want to win the Sports Festival so badly?" 

Because I want to see if the defect could usurp the masterpiece.

(In which Endeavor holds a terrible secret and Bakugo has to suffer since childhood for it.)

a great concept, and I adore the shouto and Katsuki sibling interaction here. hoping the author will come back to this one some day.

A Name That You'll Remember by Heronfem

Kirishima Eijirou is a Hero. Bakugou Katsuki... is not. Trapped in his toxic workplace and increasingly desperate to get out, Red Riot's days are only brightened by a new villain known as Caution, who's not exactly villainous and keeps accidentally doing good deeds. But when a real villain appears, a threat from the past that demands that Red Riot make the ultimate sacrifice to keep the public safe, Bakugou is forced into saving the day... and eventually, Red Riot himself.

sob story good guy villains are my weakness, this fic is a gem, and I'd kill for the sequel.

Our Hero by AnonymousTwit

He felt everything jerk to the side and throw his balance off before he saw anything, dust clouding his vision and irritating his lungs as the earth itself opened up to swallow them whole. For a single moment, in a millisecond's time, his wild eyes locked with Raccoon Eyes', hers alight with fear and adrenaline-fueled desperation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that it was the first time she'd looked at him with something other than long-deserved hatred in days.

And then he was free falling.

Or

After a particularly nasty encounter between childhood friends, the class learns about Bakugou and Midoriya's dark history and practically ostracizes Bakugou while trying to defend Midoriya. An earthquake during an outing has all sides regretting their decisions.

just fucking tear apart my self-sacrificing faves in every way imaginable while their loved ones watch on in terror. 💖🥰💖 this one is heavy on the Bakusquad and Class-1A feels, and VERY heavy on the Mina & Bakugou relationship (platonic).

Running back the tape, watching it replay by Faralyne

For someone ripped from their time, ripped from the few but strong relationships built by time and personal development, by self-reflection and swallowed pride, ripped from the one thing that made him feel worthwhile and needed and put-together, and forced to forge everything over again—Katsuki thinks he is handling it pretty fucking well.

Or

A villain’s quirk sends a 29-year-old Bakugou back in time to his middle school days.

am I a sucker for time travel? yes. am I a sucker for vigilante!bakugou? also yes. am I a sucker for this fic? literally refreshing the page in wait for an update as we speak.

Liability by sandelf

After All-Might dies rescuing Bakugou from the League, Bakugou is determined to prove it wasn't for nothing.

But the world is against him, his grief is overwhelming, and his stability is splitting at the edges.

very self-indulgent bakugou angst. tw for harassment, severe depression, and suicidality.

Special Mentions:

How To Win The Sport Festival: A Step By Step Guide by mhwright

Short re-imagining of the Sports Festival Arc if Shinso had planned a little better and worked a little harder to win the Sports Festival and if the match-ups had been slightly different. Self-indulgent fic of watching him succeed.

this is completely Shinsou-centric, not Bakugou-centric, but I love and adore it and am dying for a sequel. Shinsou is Best Boy here and you'll be rooting for him the whole time.

[theheroheart]

What ‘Ted Lasso’ gets right about resistance to therapy, according to a therapist

By Erin Qualey Sep. 10, 2021 6 AM PT

The following contains spoilers from Friday’s episode of “Ted Lasso,” “Man City.”    (Originally posted here.)

Wherever you go, there you are.

In my work as a therapist, this is a concept my clients and I often explore. No matter how far or fast you run from your troubles, the one thing you absolutely cannot escape is yourself. Wherever you go? There you are. It’s a saying that Ted Lasso himself would surely love.

In the first season of the Apple TV+ series “Ted Lasso,” Ted (Jason Sudeikis) travels across an ocean to coach a professional football team with zero experience. He’s an aw-shucks Kansan with a can-do attitude, and his perpetual positivity proves infectious to almost everyone he meets. Although “Ted Lasso” is a comedy, Ted’s tortured inner life has been hinted at from the start — in the form of conflict with his ex-wife and a panic attack he experienced late in Season 1, triggered by a karaoke version of “Let It Go” from “Frozen.” For Ted, the song served as a crushing yet temporary reminder that he was putting off the inevitable. It’s only in Season 2, the adjustment to a new life and job complete, that Ted has been left to sit with his feelings — and realize he might not be able to outrun himself after all.

Enter Dr. Sharon Fieldstone (Sarah Niles), sports psychologist, whose presence clearly rattled Ted. Niles imbues Dr. Sharon with an even keel and disciplined temperament: Whether she’s engaging with a client or observing the team at practice, her active body language and ever-searching eye movements indicate that Dr. Sharon strives to treat each moment at her job with the utmost care and seriousness. She sets personal boundaries but also knows when to head out for a drink with the team after a particularly needed win.

It’s the addition of the enigmatic Dr. Sharon that catalyzes the central action of Season 2 — which, though it’s received criticism for a lack of dramatic momentum, has been laying a trail of biscuit crumbs to Friday’s game-changing “Man City.”

Ted’s insistence that life has infinite happy endings already bordered on toxic positivity, and it catapults over that line into maladaptive behavior in Season 2. As Ted starts to strain against the weight of the trauma he carries, he shifts into near-manic mode. The pressure to be himself — a man who consistently puts others’ needs above his own — finally becomes too great, and he experiences a debilitating panic attack in the middle of a crucial match. In a striking scene, Dr. Sharon finds Ted curled up in her darkened office, finally asking for help.

Therapy is all about sitting with and processing uncomfortable emotions in a safe space. Unfortunately, much of Ted’s ethos runs completely counter to this idea. His “be a goldfish” saying and his staunch belief in “rom-communism” both center on selective amnesia of the negative and overemphasis on the positive. But Ted has another mantra: “bird by bird.” Originating in the book of the same name by Anne Lamott, the term connotes perseverance and patience: It means to take things one step at a time until a daunting task is completed. So when Ted finally decides to engage in therapy with Dr. Sharon, he’s determined to not give up. And, wouldn’t you know, there’s a bird involved.

When Ted finally sits down for his first session with Dr. Sharon, he is a mess. He spies a bobbing drinking bird and taps it. The bird, much like Ted, can say only “yes.” But in a powerful moment, Ted begins to gently oppose the bird, shaking his head “no” as he watches the toy come to a stop. Shortly after, he pops out of his chair and leaves the session. Something similar happens during the second session, but this time he picks a fight with the good doctor before storming out.

The bird is an important visual illustration of the cognitive dissonance Ted is experiencing. He’s programmed himself to use relentless positivity as a coping mechanism, always saying yes to every experience and aiming to please in every interaction. Therapy is an unknown for him, and his fear of uncovering the truth is far greater than his fear of not being liked. So he bolts.

This scene could well have been lifted from many of my sessions over the years. There’s a bit of Ted in every therapy client I’ve ever worked with, and an instinctual pushback to therapy is understandable, given there are deeply entrenched societal stigmas associated with reaching out for help. Asking for help is an act of courage, as therapy can be scary and even at times unpleasant: As Dr. Sharon says, “The truth will set you free, but first it will p— you off.”

It takes a leap of faith to engage in therapy, as it’s a process often filled with challenging emotions. Ambivalence is normal and even expected. “Ted Lasso” delivers a raw and honest portrayal of how — with the right therapist — a person can overcome their fears and begin to pursue a more hopeful path. (It’s worth noting here that Ted represents the best-case scenario for someone seeking therapy. He has a quality therapist who has time for him, is conveniently located and is presumably free of charge. In real life, availability, location and cost are major barriers that can prevent people from even getting in the door.)

Still, though Ted is staying for the duration of his sessions with Dr. Sharon at this point, he’s not actually doing the work. So she tries a different angle: Following a traumatic accident on her bike in “Man City,” she worries she’ll be too scared to do one of her favorite activities going forward — and shares these feelings with Ted, using self-disclosure to model behavior for her client. When she’s vulnerable and honest about her emotions, it gives Ted the license to do the same.

A day later, Ted witnesses an altercation between Jamie Tartt (Phil Dunster) and his abusive father, and it triggers a reaction. It’s easy to imagine the old Ted swallowing his own feelings and trying to smooth the situation over, but that’s not what happens. Instead, he races outside, calls Dr. Sharon, and tearfully confesses to her that his father took his own life when Ted was 16. And Ted Lasso — both the character and the series — has fully earned this moment, as we’ve witnessed absolutely every step that has led up to his breakthrough.

For a show such as “Ted Lasso” to depict the initial stages of therapy with such care and nuance is an act of generosity. Just as Dr. Sharon modeled desirable behavior for Ted, the series successfully modeled a very real experience that can and does hold people back from finding the support they need. Perhaps Ted will eventually be the catalyst for many of the people in his orbit — looking at you, Nate, Rebecca and Jamie — to seek out time with the doctor as well.

Qualey is a licensed therapist specializing in addiction and trauma with more than a decade of experience in the field. She also works as a freelance writer, often focusing on the intersections among mental health, addiction and pop culture.

[astridthevalkyrie]

summer rain: chapter 2

Your days in the Training Corp aren’t too out of the ordinary. You make friends, you train hard, and you eat dinner every day.

Oh, and you’re also hellbent on getting revenge against Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.

Chapter 1, Chapter 3

Okay, okay, so, you’d prided yourself on your plan. Getting the lieutenant himself to train you personally so you could learn his weaknesses and use his own tricks to one day take him down and humiliate him in front of everyone - it’s convoluted, but it’s a good idea. It’ll take a while, but it’ll work if you stay dedicated. Right? Right.

But you hadn’t actually expected him to agree. And so easily at that. He’d given you a quick look over as though he was scanning for some potential scheme, and then he’d readily said he would train you, which not only shocked you, it shocked both Captain Erwin and the woman who you learned was Lieutenant Hange Zoe. If his friends were surprised, then this must be out of character of him. You can’t imagine why he possibly would willingly take you under his wing.

Maybe...maybe the harsh treatment was some twisted way of looking out for you. A small bit of guilt blooms in your chest at the thought, but you quickly squash it down. There are other ways to prepare someone for their future than by publicly embarrassing and physically harassing them. A simple hey, focus up, cadet would have sufficed. Not that you’d have listened, but he doesn’t know that.

Yeah, he’s just a dick. He probably has his own messed up reasons to be doing this. You have to mentally prepare yourself for whatever cruel and unusual punishment he’ll be inflicting upon you.

His instructions ring through your head as you go to bed that night.

“Be at the grounds at 4 AM, sharp. Don’t be late.”

However, that’s absolutely ridiculous. It’s bad enough that you have to adjust your sleep schedule to wake up at 8 AM instead of 11 AM since they don’t allow for beauty sleep at the Training Corp (how are you supposed to maintain your flawless skin?), but now he expects you to be up and out of bed four whole hours than everyone else? No one is expected to be up at that time. Not even him. People are sleeping at 4 AM. No, you’re absolutely not going to be getting up just to train with a grouchy, perverted midget, thanks very much. If he was serious when he gave you those instructions, he’s going to have to deal with someone who values their shut-eye time. Sorry not sorry, Lieutenant. Your dreams are pleasant that night, letting you visit the market on the edge of Stohess which always smelled of fresh fruits and exotic perfume.

You’re content with your decision until a fucking wave crashes on you and brutally brings you back to the world of the living.

With a heaving gasp, you sit up straight in a coughing frenzy, spitting up water. Your hair is soaked, along with your nightgown. Fat droplets run down your face and bite into your cheeks. It’s cold.

“Be quiet,” Lieutenant Levi mutters casually, as though he didn’t just dump a bucket of water on you, “you’ll wake up the others.”

You gape at him incredulously, bringing your hands up to frantically wipe water off your face. For a second, you forget all formalities and you forget he ranks far higher than you, or perhaps you just don’t care, and you splutter out what you’ve been wondering since the moment you met him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

For someone who seems to enjoy teaching you discipline, he never actually tells you off for these comments. Instead of chiding you for being rude, he says in a snippy tone, “I’ve been waiting for ten minutes. Get up, or I’ll refill the bucket.”

You don’t need any further encouragement. You throw off the thin and wet blanket and stand up, now fully awake. He rolls his eyes when he sees how silky your nightgown is - yeah, he damn well should feel bad for soaking such an expensive piece of fabric, the asshole. It’s worth more than that stupid tacky cravat he’s always sporting, that’s for sure.

Fortunately, no one else has woken up. Thank Maria, you’re not sure you could stomach someone seeing Lieutenant Levi demeaning you yet again. You shakily grab your clothes and uniform, and then turn to him. He raises a brow.

“Some privacy would be appreciated, sir.” You cross your arms over your chest protectively.

He scoffs pointedly, as though to tell you he’d have to be absolutely obtuse to want to see you naked, to which you only take a little offense. He gives you orders to hurry the fuck up and then leaves the barracks. You’re tempted to take your sweet time changing, but you really, really don’t want to risk getting soaked again. You just wish that you had time to dry your hair - the morning air outside is bound to be freezing. Sighing, you tie it up tightly, mourning the days you could let your precious tresses fly freely. Stupid military, stupid titans, stupid lieutenant. You dislike all of them greatly. In that order.

When you join him outside, he’s leaning against a tree, looking at you dully.

“Managed to have a tea party before you got down here, (L/N)? Or have you always walked at the speed of a snail?”

Holy hells help you, this is going to be a long day.

You salute, and he lets out a small tch, walking up to you and sizing you up. You tense up immediately, you wouldn’t put it past him to knock you down again for the heinous crime of making him wait.

“This is how this is going to work, Cadet.” He stands right in front of you and you force yourself not to look in his eyes, choosing to look at the pretty leaves on the birch tree behind him. “Every morning, from 4 AM to 6 AM, you’re here, and you’re doing whatever the hell I tell you to.” Probably allowing him to punch you in the face repeatedly. “Then you go back, get two more hours of sleep so that you don’t look like shit at breakfast.” It’ll take more than the likes of him to get you to look like shit, but sure, he can flatter himself. “If I’m on an expedition or not here for some other reason, you do a basic routine regardless.” Right, like he’ll know if you skip out. Nice try. “I might have you do other bits of training at another part of the day sometimes, but for the most part, we’ll be doing the brunt of it in the morning so it doesn’t interfere with your classes and shit.” Okay, that’s fair, and you can’t find a complaint with it no matter how hard you try. “Questions?”

You open your mouth, but he doesn’t give you a chance to actually ask anything before barking out an order. “Twenty-four laps around the grounds, now.”

Twenty-four? Okay, okay, you can do this, you knew what you were signing up for. He’s going to be harsh. He’s going to wear you out. You’re not going to break. Even if it’s the crack of dawn and he’s certifiably insane.

When you start running, his eyes follow you. You briefly wonder how he’s going to keep himself entertained throughout this, but then you remember that he’s cruel and terrible, and he’ll be entertained plenty watching you suffer. Besides, you have other things to focus on besides how much fun he’s having.

The maximum amount of laps Grumman has had you run so far is twelve, and that was with everyone else, so all the cadets could feed off each other’s energy and boost morale. Right now, there’s no one with you, no one to complain to, no one to hide behind so you can spend a few seconds walking instead of running. Oh, and it’s way too early. Have you mentioned that it’s way too early?

Half way through the fifteenth lap, you drop down on your knees and start panting. You’re tired. You want to go back to sleep. Screw your plan. Screw getting revenge.

“Oi!” The lieutenant calls out from his cozy spot under the birch tree. “I didn’t say you could take a nap!”

Most all all, screw him.

You hear him approaching, but you can’t bring yourself to get up. The grass is damp against your fingers, looking like a nice and cool spot to just lie down and rest your head for a few seconds. Sure, not as nice as a regular feathery pillow, but -

He kicks you on the side. It’s not that hard, but you still hiss in pain.

You hate him, you hate him, you hate him -

“Get up,” he snaps, impatient. “You’ve got nine more to go.”

Everything about him is grating, from his voice to his polished shoes to his gorgeous grey eyes. How you wish you could shut him up.

Clearly not someone who enjoys waiting, he yanks you up by your arm, letting out another tch at your murderous expression. He applies just the slightest pressure against your skin, before speaking in a tone that makes it clear he’s getting fed up.

“You’re the one who wanted to be trained. If you can’t handle a few laps, then forget about getting into the top ten.”

“I don’t want to get into the top ten,” you huff, writhing in an attempt to break free of his grasp to no avail. Why does everyone and their mother assume you’re some tryhard goody two shoes? “And even if I did, running these laps isn’t gonna get me there. So can we just leave it at fifteen?”

Lieutenant Levi pulls you in closer, until you’re nearly nose to nose with him. Your eyes widen as he tightens his hold on you, and you despise that your heart beats faster for whatever godforsaken reason. Unwillingly, you think about what it would actually feel like to be wrapped up in his arms, to have his hands on your waist, to have his lips on your -

Fuck fuck fuck. Wrong and fucked up line of thought. Focus.

“You seem to think we’re collaborating here, (L/N). Let me make it clear,” he drawls lazily, “we’re not. You’ll do what I say, no questions asked.”

“I’m going to ask questions, sir. Blind obedience isn’t good for anyone.”

“I think it’s less to do with blind obedience, and more with you wanting to be a pain in the ass.”

“Very astute of you,” you say without thinking, and his shoulders move in what might have been a laugh, but it happens so quickly you’re not sure if you imagined it or not.

“Finish the laps,” he orders, letting go of you and jerking his head, telling you to hop to it.

You glare petulantly, but start running anyways. What he doesn’t realize is he just let you have a break, no matter how short it might have been, and that’s exactly what you needed. Not so clever, this one. You take the small win and feel triumphant, even though you still have to run nine more laps and your hair is still wet and it’s still a forbidden hour for anyone to be awake at.

Once the laps are done, Lieutenant Levi allows no further time for relaxation before ordering you into thirty push-ups, which is just thirty more than your preferred amount of push-ups. The amount of fucking delight he takes in putting his foot on your back, making it just a bit harder for you to get up each time, is unbelievable. He’s a damn sadist, who thrills in your pain.

After the push-ups are finished, you have to do squats. Once the squats are finished, you move on to crunches. Then around five million side kicks, or at least that’s what it feels like. Then forward lunges. Then tricep extensions against the tree. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

How fucking long is an hour anyway?

By the time the lieutenant finally tosses you a flask of water - he throws it so quickly it almost hits your face - you’re winded, out of breath, and dizzy. Nothing hurts per se, but your body is desperately begging for you to stop, to take a break, to just sit down for a single second. You know that any second now, you’ll be back in bed, and the only obstacle to that destination besides the fear that you might collapse halfway there is this asshole of a midget in front of you. You technically can’t leave until he dismisses you, a rule that you despise with all your being.

You think that dismissal is coming when he takes the flask back and then gives you another demand.

“Ten calf raises. Just a test run. I’ll see if I can put it into your routine.”

You look at him disbelievingly for two reasons - one, because he’s actually continuing this torture and two, he’s assuming you know what the hell calf raises are.

He sighs exasperatedly and then demonstrates. It seems simple enough, it’s just standing on your tippy toes, spreading your feet out, repeating the action, spreading them out even more, and then doing it again. Three angles, just a bit of balance for a few seconds.

At this point, you’ll do whatever it takes to go back to bed.

So you start. You do three (there’s three angles, so technically nine, but who’s counting? certainly not you) and everything’s fine.

The fourth set leaves you a bit sore, but whatever.

The fifth set hurts.

The sixth set stings like a bitch.

After the seventh, you cry out in pain. It’s quiet, but mortifying.

Great, just great. The whole point of this was to pick up on his weaknesses, and here you’ve accidentally exposed your own. You freeze completely, eyes on the ground, waiting for the lieutenant to say something about how weak you’re acting.

But he doesn’t say anything, and you’re too nervous to look at him in case he catches the embarrassment playing out on your face.

Eight. Your calves are killing you, but you’re not going to cry out again. Ever.

Nine. Holy shit. Are you on fire? You think you’re on fire.

One more. You can do this. You’ve done all the others.

“Hey,” a sharp voice cuts through the air, but you pay him no mind.

You clench your fists, muster up all your strength, and push yourself up as hard as you can.

And immediately regret it.

Your legs buckle under you, and you stumble with a yelp. You didn’t mean to. It just hurt so bad, but now you’re going to be on your knees again -

Up until now, you’d seen how fast Lieutenant Levi could move because he was constantly throwing you around like a child would throw around its favorite toy. When you feel a breeze against your skin, your mind is thrown into an alarmed state for a fraction of a second. He’s coming at you, to what? Push you? You’re already falling down, so nice try, jerk, but -

It takes you a few seconds to realize he’s caught you.

With his arms hooked under yours, he lets you put your weight on him, ignoring your astonished expression. Even the blunt pain is pushed aside as you take in the fact that he stopped you from falling. Apparently you can only be knocked down when he decides you can. For the life of you, you truly cannot figure out just what this man’s deal is.

“Well, then,” Levi murmurs against your ear, “we’ll leave that one out from now on.”

____________________

Millie informs you that you look like shit over breakfast, and you tell her to kindly fuck off.

____________________

These lovely morning meetings become routine. Since you’re waking up earlier, you try your best to go to sleep earlier too, but you’re a night owl who can’t be caged, so the operation isn’t really successful there.

Instead, you try to rest any second you can during the day. While Millie, Stephen and Ricky are reading over their notes under the same birch tree that you and Lieutenant Levi meet at, you’re lying on the grass with an arm thrown over your eyes. It’s not like you need to study that hard - one doesn’t need whole hours to learn that titans are dangerous.

Besides, your arms are sore from your push-ups this morning. You usually don’t do the same thing twice in a row, apparently the lieutenant likes to switch things up. Which is just fine with you, of course, you’ve never been a fan of the same old thing every day; you joined the military to get away from the feeling that all your days were stationary and felt the same. And the whole dead dad thing, but that’s kinda secondary.

“Try putting ice on it,” Stephen offers helpfully, the only one of the three to take your complaining in stride.

“Try putting a gag in your mouth,” Millie adds.

“Try taking the stick out of your ass,” you tell her pointedly before offering a grateful smile to Stephen.

“Have you considered asking yourself if this is worth it?” Ricky tosses his notes aside and nudges your head with his knee. “Your super duper revenge plan -”

“It’s a mega super duper revenge plan.”

“Yeah, that. Is it worth exhausting yourself like this?”

Surprisingly, Stephen is the one who speaks up. “I don’t think it’s right for a superior to disrespect his subordinate and get away with it without any repercussions.”

“Look, what he did was...sketchy,” Ricky concedes, “but he’s him, y’know? Some people are good enough to act like that and get away with it.”

“No one’s good enough to act like that. Do you know how hard he runs me into the ground every single day? He’s never satisfied, not until I’m fucking collapsing. The only reason he’s stopped dumping water on me is because he says it’s a waste of resources.” You blow out a puff of air, frustrated. Why does no one understand how not okay the lieutenant’s actions are? “And he never does anything himself. I haven’t picked up any weaknesses. I have to keep going until I find one.”

“That’ll take you your entire time here.”

“So be it,” you say dramatically, before finally sitting up.

You’ll stick to it for however long it takes. There are boundaries that should never be crossed, and Lieutenant Levi’s managed to cross every single one of them.

Out of the corner of your eye, you catch a familiar figure. It’s him, of course it’s him. It’s not enough that he disturbs your sleep, no, he has to make his presence known during the day too. Sure, maybe he’s just going about his day and not actively trying to aggravate you, but he’s still in your line of sight and he has such a punchable face.

Maybe Lieutenant Levi senses that he’s being watched, because his head turns and he catches your gaze.

You wave with a sugary smile, acting like you weren’t just fantasizing about punching his face.

Without so much as an acknowledgement, he looks away and keeps walking.

You scoff. Rude fucking midget.

____________________

The best parts of your days are undeniably after hours. Or more specifically, that small period before dinner and bedtime, when there’s nothing required of you, and you can slip away. You like leaving a bit earlier than everyone else, just to enjoy the cool night outside. It’s funny, how there are so many rules and restrictions here at the military, but a girl can still just get up and wander outside at night and no one will look at her strangely. It’s a wonderful feeling, freedom.

You’re just about to begin what’s sure to be a leisurely walk around the grounds when there’s suddenly a vice-like grip on your arm. You gasp, the first instinct to defend yourself. You raise your fist and immediately launch it, only for it to be caught rather easily.

The lieutenant rolls his eyes at your attempt to defend yourself. “I sincerely hope you never get mugged.”

If he followed you out here, that’s frankly quite creepy and he should feel ashamed of himself.

“I hope someone steals your cravat,” you mutter, and the corners of his lips twitch in amusement. “Can you let go? Sir,” you add quickly - it was becoming easier to forget that you had to refer to him properly. “I have a walk to take that doesn’t involve doing push-ups or crunches.”

His eyes are alight with cruel intentions. You hate that you still find them fascinating. “I have a training exercise for you.”

“You’re a few hours early, Lieutenant.” You give him a condescending smile. “See, 4 AM actually isn’t until much much later. It’s okay, I know telling time can be tough.”

His lips purse in displeasure, and you mentally do a small, victorious dance.

“Be that as it may, I recall telling you that your training can take place at any time that I see fit.”

“But,” you protest, stomping your foot childishly, “you also said you didn’t want to interfere with my regular training!”

He makes a point of looking to the right and then to the left and then finally back at you. “I don’t see any drills going on around here. Do you?”

If you say you do, will he let you off? Probably not, he’ll just cart you off to the infirmary and declare you mental.

“Fine,” you mutter with gritted teeth, “what is it now?”

Without answering, he turns and beckons you to follow. Like a good little obedient soldier. You fume silently, walking behind with clenched fists. First he cuts into your rightful nap time, and now into your wonderful walking time. Is there no limit to the amount of serene, private moments he plans to intrude on?

For some reason, the two of you head indoors, towards the rooms and offices. You may just be a dumb cadet, but even you’re pretty certain that none of the exercises are done in here. Is he taking you to his room? Why would he -

Wait.

Your mouth falls open, but your steps don’t falter. This is highly inappropriate. You don’t know what kind of woman Lieutenant Levi takes you to be, but you did not sign up for this. So you ask him to train you and call him sir a few times, and the man thinks you’re all good and willing, does he? That since he’s Humanity’s Strongest, he can have whoever he wants? What an insult to the name of courting. Where he finds the nerve to keep pulling stunts like these, you’ll never know.

Training your ass. This is an indecent night call. And you would never, ever -

Well.

Maybe. In a hot, scandalous kind of way that you would only ever tell Millie about. Not that you’d enjoy it, not with him. It’s more the forbidden aspect that’s attractive. It’s certainly not about the lieutenant, even with his nimble fingers and cold eyes and sharp tongue that you’re sure he could work wonders with - okay so maybe it is about him a little bit.

But it would also be delightful to turn him down. To watch the light leave his eyes (not that it was there in the first place) as you proudly tell him you respect yourself too much to sleep with a man who’s so arrogant and callous. Yeah, that’ll show him.

His fingers, though.

You’re so caught up in your little debate that you almost crash into him when he stops in front of a door. Ah, a private area. The barracks? How many members of his squad does he share a room with? You twitch uncomfortably.

“Here we are.” Even his voice sounds sultry. Or maybe it always sounds like that. Who knows.

“Why are we here, sir?” Your throat feels dry.

He turns and gives you a look that is decidedly not sexy. Rather, it seems like he thinks you’re the most idiotic person he’s ever had the unfortunate pleasure of laying his eyes on.

“You’re going to clean up in here, did you not hear me the first time?”

What?

You’re not sure what feels the most embarrassing. The fact that he’s apparently decided you’re the official Training Corp maid, or that you had actually been so comfortably considering sleeping with him that you tuned out what he was saying.

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you frown. “Sir, I mean no offense -” He raises a brow, clearly ready to get offended - “but your, er, sanitary habits are pretty much known to everyone here. I doubt that I’ll be able to make your room sparkle more than it already does.”

Lieutenant Levi scoffs. “Then it’s a good thing this isn’t my room.”

He opens the door and your mouth falls open in horror.

“This is Lieutenant Hange’s lab,” he explains as he steps in, “and before you ask, I’ve already secured her permission for you to clean up.” Producing a broom out of thin air, he shoves it in your waiting hands.

“Lieutenant, I...this is…”

“Disgusting. Yeah. So better not waste any time. You need to get some sleep if you want to survive your morning drills tomorrow.”

“Lieutenant, I’m from Stohess.” Too late do you realize that you’re pleading. “I’ve never even seen a pig’s den that is as messy as this.”

Countless exercises at the crack of dawn, and this is what’s broken you. The room is horrifying. It’s straight out of any neat freak’s nightmares. You don’t know how the lieutenant even stomachs looking at it.

“Never cleaned your own room, huh? Not surprised,” he muses, and you shoot him a dirty look.

This isn’t the spoiled brat in you talking, no, this is the sane human who knows that this room is basically hell incarnate.

“How does this count as training? You just need someone to do the Survey Corps’ dirty work!”

“Is there anything you don’t complain about?” he demands, but oho, you are ready.

“Exercising I can understand. Your random bursts of physical violence - harsh, but whatever.” Not like you’re trying to get vengeance for them, but he doesn’t have to know that. “This is just work, and I want to be paid if you’re making me do work.”

This makes him snort, shaking his head at you like he’s your teacher and you’re not understanding the most basic of concepts. “You’re not a merchant, (L/N), you’re a soldier.”

“A soldier, not a servant!”

“I am ordering you to do this,” he says softly, “are you disobeying an order, Cadet?”

Well, when he puts it like that, you’d rather not get kicked out of the military before you even complete your training. And certainly not before you make the lieutenant pay with everything you have. Oh, revenge will be sweet.

Begrudgingly, you step into the lab, swallowing your nervous inhibitions. This place is a dump, you wonder how Lieutenant Hange even gets any work done in here.

Goddammit, you are never going to clean this place up, no matter how hard you try!

“Like I said, we still need you to sleep,” the he-devil murmurs behind you, “so this better be done in an hour. I’ll come check on you then.”

Oh, fuck him. You wait until he leaves, and then get to work.

____________________

His royal highness comes back an hour later just like he said he would. When he opens the door, he finds you sprawled on the floor against the wall, tired but with your chest puffed up proudly, eyes zeroed in on him to see his reaction.

The room is spotless and distinctly organized. Papers that were strewn everywhere are now in one pile next to a stack of Lieutenant Hange’s many, many journals. Vials and flasks have been placed on top of one another by the sink, where they can be quickly washed and ready for use. The tops of the desks are spotless and dust-free. The floor is not only clean, but shiny.

There’s a brief flash of surprise on Lieutenant Levi’s face as he looks back at you. You allow yourself to smirk. Sure, your arms hurt even worse than they already did and you still feel like a maid because you’ve done more cleaning in the last hour than you have in your entire life (not because you’re spoiled, just because no rooms back home are ever this messy), but it’s worth it to see that he’s impressed by you, no matter how he tries to hide it.

You don’t know why you want him to be impressed in the first place, but you decide not to question it right now.

“Not bad,” he finally relents, walking up to you. “You plan to sleep here, or are you gonna get up?”

You snort. Such a charmer, this one. Well, you’re too lazy to stand on your own, so you hold your hand up expectantly. It’s really the least he can do after being no help at all.

After giving you a long look, he takes your hand and pulls you up to your feet. Your legs feel a little wobbly, and you wryly think about how you’d figured you’d be leaving the base with wobbly legs anyway. What a ridiculous fantasy. You hate him, and he probably hates you too. You would never do anything of any sort with him.

“Go to bed,” he orders quietly, taking note of how tired you look.

“So, 5 AM tomorrow, right?”

Again, he looks dryly amused like he always does when you say things like this, as though you’re just the funniest fucking person he’s ever met. “Nice try, (L/N).”

“When do you even sleep?” you question, brows furrowed in curiosity. You’ve wondered for a while.

Lieutenant Levi shrugs. “Usually from 1 to 3.”

You blink in disbelief, shaking your head. “Sorry, what?”

“Got a problem with that?” He’s clearly not fond of where the conversation’s headed, since he grabs you by the back of your collar and pushes you forward, out of the room. You comply, but you’re not done with this line of questioning. No one can just get two hours of sleep daily and continue to function normally.

“Is this why you’re so grouchy all the time?”

“You have no respect at all,” he quips, still shoving you ahead. The base is for the most part, bare and empty, since nearly everyone’s gone to bed by now. There’s only a few people still around, and they pay the two of you no mind.

“Have you always been an insomniac?”

“Fail to see why it’s any of your business.”

“Are you trying to make me an insomniac?”

The lieutenant sucks in an exasperated breath. “No, then I’d be punishing all insomniacs.”

“Rude.”

“You’re one to talk.”

You don’t know why it’s so easy to engage in banter with him. He never discourages you, as much as he points out how unruly you are. In fact, he seems to enjoy it almost as much as you do.

And you do enjoy it, as much as you don’t want to.

“Lieutenant,” you begin hesitantly, not sure why you’re saying this, “I hear chamomile helps people go to sleep.”

“So it does,” he mutters dryly, “thanks for the observation.”

Fuck him, you were trying to be helpful.

“Are you going to walk me all the way back?” You hum thoughtfully, craftily. “People might get the wrong idea.”

At this, his footsteps stop, and you wince. God, your mouth really just runs a mile ahead of your brain at all times, doesn’t it? It won’t be satisfied until you’ve dug yourself into a hole that you just can’t get out of. Implying to Lieutenant Levi that people would think the two of you had sex is just the icing on top of the snarky cake you’ve been baking him since you got here. When you turn around, he’s looking at you with an appraising expression.

“What wrong idea will they get, Cadet?” he asks softly, grey eyes piercing through you.

Your mouth is dry. Surely he knows, does he need you to say it? Of course he does, he wants to make you uncomfortable. You can’t even blame him, this one’s all on you.

Screw it, you might as well be blunt.

“They might think we slept together.”

If he’s taken aback, he doesn’t show it. “I see. And what would you do if these rumors spread?”

You take a deep breath. “Gouge my eyes out, sir.”

This time, you can’t chalk it up to your imagination or a trick of the light. He scoffs, but he’s laughing, normally cruel lips twisted in a humorous smile. You’re surprised by how pleasant the sight is, like looking at a lily in a field of roses. Out of place, yet so very beautiful, a sight you can’t take your eyes off of. Just how does one man manage to be so fascinating? It takes a lot to make you want to swoon, especially for someone who you harbor such negative feelings for. How does he manage it so easily?

“Can’t have that.” His expression is still lit up in mirth. “You better go the rest of the way yourself.”

You salute, and turn around. Even as you walk, the image of him laughing - laughing at something you said - is burned into your mind, and it makes something in your chest clench in an all too unfamiliar way.

Maybe he watches you go, but you’re too proud to look back and check.

____________________

The air is abuzz with excitement. Everyone’s been waiting for this day. If you didn’t know better, you’d say that everyone joined the military simply so that they could do this.

This being using the ODM gear, of course. Everyone has mastered the basics by now, or they’ve dropped out. The one who stayed have perfected balancing and not falling flat on their faces, they’ve watched senior veterans use the gear, and they’ve gotten a brief example of what it feels like to be shot forward through the air. Utilizing the blades properly will eventually be taught too, but for now, they get to practice flying. Actual flying. How amazing is that?

While people usually pair off on their own, Grumman sees fit to assign pairs himself today, much to everyone’s chagrin. By some shitty luck, you’re not paired with Millie, Ricky, or Stephen. You’re not even paired with Nifa or Jack, who you’re friendly enough with.

No, you’re paired with Petra fucking Ral.

You probably wouldn’t even know or care about who Petra was if not for Millie’s incessant complaining about her. Petra is one of the few people who balanced in the gear belts perfectly on her first try (you were also in that group, but Millie’s not gonna complain about you to you), Petra is all their teachers’ favorite because of how easily she retains information, Petra doesn’t have a hair out of place even when she fights. Petra this, Petra that.

Petra is Millie’s main competition for the number one position.

Frankly, you think your best friend is projecting.

“Do you feel a bit ridiculous too?” she asks after the two of you have put your gear on.

“Just a little.” You face her and strike a pose. “Do you think the titans would appreciate some more flair?”

Petra laughs, nodding. “Some eye candy would go a long way, I’m sure.”

The two of you exchange grins, straightening to attention when the instructor passes in front of you. He looks between you and murmurs something to himself before shouting out loud for just about everybody to hear. “(L/N) and Ral will go first! All the rest of you little shits, pay attention!”

Apparently being paired with golden girl Petra Ral means that you’re supposed to be a role model or something now. You groan inwardly - it seems everyone is convinced you want to be a model cadet. When will they get it through their thick skulls that you’re not that boring?

You and your partner step apart until there’s a safe distance between you two. In front of you is a forest, a forest that is the perfect place to practice with the ODM gear. You grip the handles firmly, knees crouching a little. Excitement bubbles inside you as you tense in anticipation. This is it! This is the first step to you becoming a full-fledged soldier. You’re one step closer to everything you’ve worked for.

“On my mark! Ready, set…”

You toss your shoulders back and push your chest forward and out of the corner of your eye you see Petra do the same.

“Go.”

Whizzing sounds are heard as the two of you fire your cables at the same time. You gasp as you’re shot forward, hurtling through the air at an electrifying speed. The trees rush past you in a blur of green and brown as you go up, up, up into the sky. You let out a breathless laugh as the hooks come free. This feeling, this feeling of your stomach jumping, this nerve-wracking feeling of doing something so dangerous and so thrilling at the same time - you’ve been craving it all your life. And here you are. You’re doing it, you’re actually up in the air and you’re flying. It’s incredible. You could stay up here forever.

So enthralled are you by this experience that you forget to hook to the next target, and with an unceremonious shriek you tumble through the branches and fall on the dirt below. Some gets in your mouth, unfortunately, and you hear loud chortles behind you. You spit out the rancid soil, shooting a glare behind you when you hear another whiz.

Up above you, Petra is still in the air. She’s slowly lowering herself down, though, concern dancing in her eyes as she stumbles to a stop a few feet away from you and rushes to help you up.

“Are you okay?” She looks genuine.

You sigh. Fucking Millie, she couldn’t share your distaste for Lieutenant Levi but she found it in her to hate this girl?

“I’m alright.” You take her hand and stand up, dusting dirt off your clothes. “Just got carried away.”

Petra giggles. “You were saying something about flair, right?”

You smile wryly, beckoning for her to come closer as an idea pops into your head. “We’ve got about two minutes before Grumman sends in the next pair. I bet I can get deeper into the forest than you can.”

Her eyes shine competitively, and she nods.

And without a beat, you two are up in the air again. You’re not a natural like she is, but you sincerely doubt that she or anyone else appreciates the wind whipping through their face quite like you do. You belong up here. You can feel it. For the first time in your life, you know instantly that you’re creating a memory that you will cherish for however little time you might have left.

____________________

Your heart beats with excitement as you bounce on the heels of your feet, looking behind your shoulder nervously. “Hurry up, Ricky!”

“I’m hurrying, now be quiet, someone’s gonna hear you.”

You don’t see how. No one is wandering around the kitchens right now. The cooks who prepare the food left their stations ages ago, and no one else in the base would have any reason to be wandering down here. Normally, you wouldn’t have any reason either, but today is a bit of a special day. Or more accurately, it’s a precursor to a special day. The day after tomorrow will mark the Survey Corps’ next expedition and as always, the cooks are preparing something special for the heroes and fools. An energizer for some, and a last meal for others. While you know that the lowly cadets haven’t done anything heroic - yet - you and Ricky agreed that some pastries would surely make everyone happy. Just a few measly sweet tarts, the Scouts wouldn’t miss them. You didn’t lay a hand on the meat, knowing fully well that most of the people going out in two days would savor it much more than you would.

Ricky is quickly shoving the tarts into a pouch, taking his sweet time counting so that everyone got the same amount. Fucking outer city peasant, concerned with fairness. You sigh impatiently, bouncing on your feet. You’re hungry. The bread at dinner seemed even more stale than usual today.

“Hey, what are you two doing?”

Your eyes widen at the same time as Ricky’s - why in the holy hells is the head chef still here? Does he sleep here? Before you can consider the disturbing implications of that possibility, you’re grabbing Ricky’s arm and running for all you’re worth. You’re counting on the fact that it’s dark in the kitchens, so hopefully he didn’t see your face. Unfortunately, the chef seems intent on finding out who broke into his precious kitchen, because he clambers on out after you.

After running for two minutes, he shows no sign of stopping.

“S-split up,” Ricky pants, wheezing as you two flee.

“Fine,” you huff, a bit proud of the fact that you’ve got more tolerance than he does, “but I want leverage.”

Without waiting for him to respond, you snatch a pastry from the top of the bag and skid to the hallway on the right while Ricky keeps running forward. The chef chooses to chase him, and you cackle maniacally at your friend’s terrible luck. You’re home free, and you have your dessert as a trophy too.

You turn your head to double check, turn back, and then crash face first into someone’s chest.

Rough hands grip your wrists to catch and steady you, and when your eyes adjust to the darkness, you want to scream.

Why is he everywhere?

Lieutenant Levi’s gaze goes from the tart in your hand to your panicked expression, and he understands what’s going on without any need for an explanation from you. He takes a step closer to you, tugging you firmly so you can’t move back. You swallow nervously, stuttering out apologies for crashing into him and for being up past curfew. He listens to you ramble, but doesn’t let go. His eyes flicker to the pastry again.

“Those are for the Scouts,” he murmurs lowly. Is it your stupid imagination again or does his voice sound more husky than usual? “Not for fucking brats, (L/N).”

Normally you’d answer with some witty comeback, but you’re feeling a bit dizzy with how close he is and how hungrily his stormy eyes are watching you. The most you can do is open and close your mouth like a fish out of water. You’re in deep shit now, you know that much.

Without removing his piercing gaze from your face, he lowers his head a bit, and takes a bite out of the tart in your hand.

You could swear your heart stops beating for a second. His grip on your wrists suddenly feels like it’s hard enough to make them bruise, even though you can tell he’s not holding on that tight. You watch him chew, swallow, and then lick his lips, all without looking away for even a second. It’s mesmerizing. Before you can tell what you’re doing, you raise the tart a bit, and let him take another bite. As though you’re fucking feeding him, like a good fucking girl. The lieutenant’s lips curl into a small smirk, and you think you’re going to drop on the spot when he takes a third bite, finishing the pastry, the tip of his tongue just brushing against your index finger.

You wonder if he can hear just how erratically your heart is pounding.

Levi’s close, too close. You don’t know what to do, how to break his scrutiny of your face, or if you even want to. He leans in, just a little. Your breath gets caught in your throat. When did you forget how to breathe? It should be easy. Suck in air, let it out, repeat.

He tilts his head a millimeter.

You sigh in anticipation, lean forward, and…

He turns away at the last second, and your lips meet his cheek.

Fuck.

You gasp against his skin, not moving. From his amused expression, he can tell that your face is burning up. Somehow, he’s managed to embarrass you again, even if this instance isn’t public and doesn’t end with you in pain. This feels worse than all the other times, though. Before, you were simply thrown around, his way of calling you weak. Physically weak. Not strong enough, a rookie. But this, this is him telling you that he knows he lords some power over you, something that transcends his rank. Something personal.

“Thanks for the snack,” he says, stepping back only a little (see: not enough) to cup your chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Now hurry to bed before I decide I want more.”

Heat pools from your stomach right down to your core. If possible, your cheeks grow even hotter.

The lieutenant lets go and turns around, leaving you standing there with a wide-eyed expression, feeling strangely empty as you watch him go.

You’re never going to let him catch you breaking curfew again.

If you’ve never done calf raises before, I do not recommend, they genuinely will leave you sore for a bit if you’re not used to them. But otherwise, yay for exercise I guess.

Reader is very cocky but we love her for it.

We don’t have Petra slander here, folks. I adore her. Millie doesn’t, though. Rip.

Let me know what you think!

[thevirgodoll]

How to be more feminine?? Besides looks what can I do to increase my feminine energy

Like I always say, femininity isn’t always about looks, it’s about mindfulness.

Keep in mind feminine energy is unique to every person.

Feminine energy also does not mean you forsake a balance with your masculine energy. I have talked about it in another post.

These are simply suggestions, but this is what I find best.

Doll Diaries: Femininity From Within

1. Etiquette, Class, and Poise.

Be nice or don’t say anything at all. It’s not cute to gossip about other women, and it only speaks volumes about you, not the other individual.

When in conflict, know how to still maintain a balance with your masculine energy. Stand up for yourself when needed, while being classy. Respond to the problem, don’t attack the person. Or you can completely ignore someone who is spiteful. Either way, don’t give them the power.

-> Expressing yourself with eloquence will always win versus expressing yourself with sloppy and negative verbiage. If you find yourself complaining, work on it. If you find yourself discouraging others and yourself, work on it. Leave deprecation, especially self, alone.

-> Having manners in general will set you apart. Saying “please”, “thank you”, “excuse me”/“pardon me” is very important when speaking to others. Consider the way you speak to others.

-> Know what language and what jokes are appropriate in each situation you’re in. Always be on the side of caution if you’re unsure.

-> Leave all pettiness behind. The only woman you are in competition with is yourself.

2. Confidence.

Having confidence will enhance your femininity physically and mentally. You will become more independent and in tune with yourself. Confidence is not to be confused with arrogance, which involves overzealous behavior such as bragging. A confident presence speaks before you say a word. Let it speak for you, rather than proving anything.

•Dignity — always reflect on your thought processes, behaviors, and actions. Be self aware of what can completely destroy your sense of dignity.

•Graciously accept compliments, and graciously give them. Know that someone else’s good attributes do not negate yours. Never be threatened by another woman.

•Always walk with your head high, looking ahead, never at the floor, no matter what happened that day. Have good posture to follow that — shoulders back. Walk gracefully at an even pace.

•Speak clearly enough for others to understand, and project your voice at an appropriate volume. Enunciate your words properly to show your intelligence. Refrain from “ums” and speaking too quickly.

•Take pride in your body, live a better life and have a healthier association with your temple. This is the only body you have, treat it well.

3. Nurture your mind.

Have hobbies, read stimulating material, and always be up to date with current events, rather than gossip about what Susie, your ex’s new boo and your next object of envy, wore on Insta last night. Level up and focus on yourself, rather than low vibrational topics.

Examples of hobbies:

-> Journaling

-> Gardening

-> Cooking

-> Art

-> Music

-> Sports

-> Reading

-> Dancing

-> Yoga & Meditation

-> Makeup

Have things you are interested in, so that you become enraptured in those things. Know when you need to connect with what you love. Do what feeds your soul. Have a good routine involving your hobbies/interests mixed with self care so that you will be a balanced individual.

4. Gratitude, Compassion, and Communication.

Don’t ever feel as though you are entitled to anything. Be grateful for what you have, and what others do. Express your gratitude to others with a “thank you”/thank you card or gesture, and “I appreciate”.

Know when to congratulate someone, and when to emphasize their successes.

Always stay true to your agreed obligations, and if you cannot, communicate such. Be a woman of your word.

If you’re going to be grateful, you also have to care about others.

-> Show compassion.

Be an active listener to your friends. Let them express what is on their minds. Some people just need you to listen, not fix. Some people just need you to listen, not judge. See their perspective, because a good friend would do the same for you.

-> Do things for others, within your boundaries and limits. Make others feel special, because they are as well. Engage with whoever you are speaking to.

-> Respect other opinions and know when to agree to disagree. Do not make generalizations with others and tell them what they “always” do. Communicate maturely.

Be honest, and mean what you say. Be impeccable with your word. Let truth and love prevail.

5. Self Awareness & Authenticity.

Always have the self awareness to know what is going on within yourself. Know your qualities. You can be your own worst critic, and you are the only thing holding you back from being the divine woman you would like to be.

What will set you apart from others is your willingness to be authentic and genuine. Most people are busy putting up a front to keep face. With you, what you see is what you will get. Your characteristics make you you, and you are appreciative of them.

-> Recognize your imperfections, but don’t dwell on them. Forgive your mistakes, and allow yourself to be blessed.

-> Maintain your boundaries and values.

-> Always remain cognizant of how you see yourself and how others see you. Know what impression is being made.

-> Take appropriate risks instead of being anchored down by “shoulda coulda woulda” mentality. Stop talking about it and just do it.

-> Never please others at the expense of yourself. Don’t become obsessed with people pleasing.

-> Be self aware enough to know when you must learn. Nobody is exempt from learning and adapting. Accept criticism to grow in wisdom, rather than being defensive.

Know your strengths and focus in on them. Be so finely in tune with yourself that no one will catch you off balance. If you must have a moment to yourself, withdraw and refresh.

All of these things will lead you to your path of divine femininity. These qualities and lessons go beyond outward appearance. Your relationship with yourself will set the tone for everything else.

I hope this helps!

xoxo, thevirgodoll ♡

[fluffymisha97]

Falling, Fallen - Part 3 - 1/2

Summary: The next date couldn’t possibly go as wrong as the first one. 

Warnings: Language. 

Word count: 3,512

About a week later, Chris had thought of everything. Had anyone asked him, he would say that he’d come up with a brilliant plan. Although he did ask Scott for advice in the beginning. The little brother was more than happy to help out. He could see how much it meant to Chris. Anything to help out a brother.

The day couldn’t and wouldn’t end as badly as your first date. That was something Chris had decided on. He’d texted you on Wednesday asking if you’d plans for the weekend. Luckily, you didn’t have any plans. Chris decided on taking you out Saturday around noon. You were both excited for your date and none of you could hardly wait.

When Saturday came, you’d been waiting by the window looking down the parking spaces in front of your building. A car honk was all you needed to know that he’d arrived. He waited by his car as you came down the stairs inside the apartment building. You smiled as you spotted Chris outside. You briefly heard Abby yell out something a la ‘have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t’. You stepped outside in the cold breeze and walked towards Chris.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

Chris awkwardly went back and forth between going for a hug or a handshake. It ended up being a very odd handshake with a halfway sided hug. Chris cringed inside. Great start. You hadn’t given it much thought and stuffed your hands inside the warmth of your

“So, where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise for now.”

“Exciting… Although I should probably be a little more cautious when getting into a car with someone I don’t know all that well. Stranger danger and everything.”

Chris flashed you a smile as he opened the door for you.

“It’s a good thing that you know me a little bit then?”

“We’ll see. Hopefully you aren’t an axe murdering movie-star.”

“Nope, just me.”

You climbed into the already warm car and buckled up. You watched as Chris took a few long strides around the car and then gracefully getting in. He smiled at you as he typed in an address on the GPS. You fiddled with your hands as you prepared yourself mentally for what the day would bring.

“Besides think about all the work murdering me would bring you. I mean disposing the body, cleaning the crime scene and so forth on.”

“Yeah, that does seem like a lot of work. Plus, I’ll probably end up unraveling the truth about the murder anyway.”

“Aww, that makes me feel a little bit better. I think.”

Chris laughed with you. It felt like you were trying to break the ice for him. The two of you chatted non-stop as the radio hummed in the background. It was insane how easy it was to talk with Chris. He talked and then listened at all the right moments. He mostly listened to you wanting to know everything about you. He enjoyed hearing your voice. It was a nice speaking voice and it turned out that you were also gifted with a nice singing voice.

Chris had given you his phone so that you could find some music. You shuffled through some of his many playlists and found one that made you smile.

“So, uh…Chris, tell me something… Are you a fan of Grease?”

“Well I…I… Depends on if you think it’s kinda loser-ish of me to have a playlist called ‘My Grease groove’.”

You could tell you made him nervous and self-conscious about a lot of things apparently. You pressed play and the tune of ‘Summer Nights’ filled the car.

“I happen to love Grease.”

Chris breathed out in relief as he saw your smile out the corner of his eye. You softly sang along to many of the songs and Chris mostly listened and hummed along every now and again.

The drive lasted about 45 minutes which flew in a hurry. Chris parked the car outside what looked like a hall. You dreaded it was a gym center or something like that. As you were getting out, Chris who’d opened your door held up a blind fold which made you narrow your eyes a bit.

“Okay now seeing where we’re…I’m beginning to circle back to the ‘what if’. What if you’re an axe murdering person?”

“Only kidding. C’mon.”  

Chris smirked at you and gestured for you to walk ahead. You scanned the place for any signs that would tell you where you were. Mostly because you were so curious to see where you were going.

“So, Y/N. you’re probably wondering what we’re to do out here, yes?”

You nodded your head as Chris continued walking towards a backdoor entrance. He opened the door for you and as you got inside you started to realize just where exactly you were. Or what kind of place it really was. Chris came to stand in front of you with arms wide as he gestured to the room. He sported a very happy face as he watched you.

“What’s your take on Ice skating?”

“The sport genre or my ability to do it?”

“What do you think?”

“Well, I’m probably pretty decent at it but-…”

You and Chris were interrupted by a hoarse voice behind you. An elderly man appeared as you turned around.

“Mr. Evans, I got the rink ready for you and your date. If you’d follow me- Oh, I’m going to need your shoe size, Miss.”

You told him your size and followed the two men leading you to a skating rink. All ready and polished. You felt giddy inside. But something was off. Chris, the man called Sal, and you were the only people in the room.

“Hey, did you rent this entire place?”

“Well…not the entire place just this rink.”

You were completely baffled at this. Never had anyone done something like that for you. Sal came back with two sets of ice skates and gave them to you and Chris.

“Thanks a lot Sal. I’ll be sure to tell my sister to book her son’s birthday party out here.”

“You do that, son. Remember: Sal’s skates is for everyone all shapes, sizes and ages. Now, you two go and have fun.”

You giggled hearing the sales pitch Sal shouted out enthusiastically and sat down to put on your skates. Chris sat down next to you and put on his own. You were much quicker than Chris and already up on your feet when were still working on securing his first skate.

You carefully stepped onto the ice while holding onto the wall for ‘support’.

“So, when I said that I was decent on ice I should’ve probably elaborated.”

Chris looked at you puzzled as you leapt of the wall and started skating with pace and grace that clearly showed that you were no amateur. You skated a few rounds wanting to get warm and went right back the latch where Chris stood with a gaping mouth.

“I’m not just decent, I’m kind of great at skating.”

You bit your lip and offered the gaping Chris a nervous smile.

“Well okay then Tonya Harding.”

You could tell that Chris was still a bit in shock over your confession. It was clear that he hadn’t seen this coming.

“No, no. I’m nowhere near her. Brilliant lady but kind of insane the way things turned out.”

Chris let out a dry chuckle as he ventured out on the ice. He seemed a bit unsteady on his feet. You skated around in circles waiting for Chris to join you when a thought popped into your head. You moved back so you were in front of Chris.

“So, what was the idea or the plan of taking me out here?”

“Plan?”

“Yeah? I mean you must’ve given this some thought. Maybe you thought about taking me bowling but then you ditched that idea and came up with going ice skating. Maybe you assumed or hoped that I wasn’t that good at it? And that I would probably need to lean on you for support or that we would have to hold hands so I wouldn’t fall flat on my ass in front of you. That way we would’ve established the psychical contact… Tell me that wasn’t something you thought of while planning this?”

Chris cringed hard inside for the second time. Was he really that transparent? Had he lost his game and had become this mediocre halfway loser with absolutely no game? His nervous smile gave him away instantly.

“Nooo? Of course not.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you got the worst poker face?”

Chris looked down feeling dumb. You weren’t mad or offended. You hadn’t meant to make him feel like you were calling him out. Even though that’s what you’d gone and done. Now it was your turn to cringe inside. The sound of whistling made him look up.

“Are you going to stay over there or are you going to join me out here? The water’s fine.”

Chris nervously laughed as he moved further out on the ice still a bit wobbly. Chris started regretting his decision as he watched you skate around gracefully while he felt like an elephant inside a porcelain shop.

“C’mon, Chris. I’m sorry if I was a little too harsh but- I think it’s a shame not to take advantage of being here.”

“No it’s not that… I guess, I over- and underestimated this situation both you and myself. I wanted to do something outside the box and in the haste of wanting to get this day right I forgot how bad I really am at ice skating. That was that brilliant yet stupid plan right out the window.”

You giggled softly at the still wobbly Chris and inched closer to him slowly.

“Okay, okay. Maybe your plan is still doable but maybe not in the way that you’d hoped for. Here, take my hand.”

Chris stilled and looked at you.

“What?”

“Hold my hand, Mr. Bold. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

Chris reached out and grabbed your smaller hand in his larger one. You started to move bringing Chris with you. The two of you skated in circles in a slow but comfortable pace. Chris smiled widely feeling confident and went to release your hand only to start wobbling a bit again. You could see Chris face falter. He quickly wrapped his arm around your waist with his right hand and the left hand found your still extended hand. Soon he felt himself being steadied. He breathed out in relief. You titled your head and smirked. He was now holding one of your hands and the other arm was wrapped around your waist.

“Now that was real smooth.”

“What?”

You couldn’t decide if he was truly a bit thickheaded to see his move clearly or if he had in fact been on his way to fall flat on the ice. You decided that it didn’t matter. Being that close to Chris wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Not even close. Your right hand moved so that it rested on top of the hand on your waist. You saw Chris smile briefly out of the corner of your eye. The two of you went a few rounds like that. It was no secret that both you and Chris enjoyed the closeness while skating. You tried calming yourself down knowing that this was only your second date and that you ought to chill out, like your friend Emmett would say. ‘Chill out girl, and relax.’

“So, tell me Miss ‘Harding’ did you ever do some professional skating or are you just this good all on your own?”

“I did very, very little when I was a kid but nothing worth writing about. But I guess I’ve just always enjoyed skating. I go a few times every year to keep on practicing. Lame I know.”

“Nothing about you is lame, Y/N.”

You shared a sideways smile as you picked up the pace skating in circular motions in the empty rink. Chris listened as you went on about things from your childhood and then asking him about his childhood. He told you about his siblings and the way that they were brought up. Just hearing about his family made you smile. It was clear to you that he came from a family filled with lots of love. His love for his mother shined through when he’d talked about her. You liked listening to Chris talking about everything and nothing. You enjoyed your conversations just as much as he liked them.

The two of you skated for some time. Truth be told, you’d lost track of time during the time you’d spent with him. You smiled at Chris who seemed to also enjoy himself on the ice. Chris started feeling a little more confident as he took the lead and picked up the pace. He even did a little cross with his feet. He looked very proud which only made him look all the more cute to you. He let go of your waist and readied himself for letting go completely. He gently let go of your hand and skated on his own. Chris flashed you a wide smile as he picked up the pace even further. A smirk even appeared on his face as gracefully skated past you in a circular move.

“Wow, look at you. Quick learner I see.”

“Yeah! Well, it’s like riding a bike I suppose. I guess, I was just a bit rusty-AHH!”

Just as he was showing off to you he lost his balance and fell right backwards. Your hands went up to cover your eyes as you saw the whole thing play out in slow motion. You heard a breathy groan which made you look at the scene before your eyes. Chris was lying on his back breathing hard as he raised his head to look at you. You went over to him and bent down to him.

“Chris! Oh my God. Are you okay?”

Chris didn’t answer you straight away and seemed to have trouble looking you in the eye. You instantly feared that he’d hit his head on the ice. You maneuvered so that you kneeled down on the ice and were leaning down to examine him closer.

“Hey look at me. How many fingers am I holding up? Do you know your name? Where you’re right now. Do you know who I am? Are you hurt anywhere-…?”

Your nervous rambling was caught off by Chris’ hoarse and breathy laugh.

“Depends. That was a whole lot of questions.”

You let out a breath of relief hearing him talk.

“My ego’s probably the most wounded…I had this horrible dream where I brought this great girl out here to impress her and only ended up botching this date because I got too cocky.”

You felt yourself smile at that. Chris leaned up on his elbows and pretended to look around as shock appeared on his face.

“OH no…It wasn’t a dream.”

He made a pouty face and looked down.

“Hey, you haven’t botched anything.”

“So, you don’t think I’m a transparent doofus?”

“Well, maybe you’re a little bit transparent but-…”

You sheepishly smiled at him as he let himself gently fall backwards on the ice with a groan.

“Just let me die here of humiliation and embarrassment.”

“God, you movie stars truly have a flair for the dramatics.”

Chris snorted at your comment but well knowing that you were absolutely right. You gently patted his arm making him look at you.

“C’mon, big guy. Up, up.”

You helped Chris upright with ease while still looking him over with worried eyes. He had just fallen quite hard.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yup, yup. I’m okay. Luckily my ass broke the fall.�� “You want to go and sit down? Just for a while.” “Sure. Let’s do that.” The two of you slowly skated over to the latch door and Chris went out first. Chris sat down on one of the benches. You carefully went over and sat down next to him.

“So apart from falling flat on my ass in front of you just now, I hoped that you still liked it here.”

“I thought it was a great idea, Chris. Something outside the box.”

“Well, then I have a small plea for you. Or more of a question.”

You nodded your head at him.

“Could we pretend that this was our first date considering that our first was a bust? Clean slate and everything. Although I didn’t make a fool out of myself that other day so maybe it was a bad idea to even-…”

“Chris, it’s cool. This is officially our first date then.”

Chris gave you a grin thankful that you were on. This date had to be great. He wanted everything right to go right.

“Hey, what do you say we get out of here? Unless you want to go back on the ice. I mean we can go if you want to. You looked like you were enjoying yourself.”

“It’s all good, Chris. I think you’ve had enough ice time for now.”

The two of you took of your skates and went to clerk where you handed them in. Sal came over and quietly shook hands with Chris.

“I hope you kids had fun. It looked like it. I must say that you miss, looked like you knew exactly what you were doing. Say, have you ever done some competitively skating?”

“I did very little when I was a kid but nothing big.”

“You looked like you belonged on the ice. I think Mr. Evans would agree with me.”

Chris only nodded in awe which you felt was totally misguided. Your cheeks felt warm as you felt the two men staring at you. Chris shook hands with Sal while you were putting on your gloves.

“Thanks a lot for today, Sal. I appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it.”

You were getting ready to exit when Chris excused himself to go to the bathroom. You leaned against the counter as you waited. Sal remained behind the counter as he arranged some papers or so.

“So tell me Sal, did you really let him rent an entire hall because he’s famous or?”

“Tell you what, I’ve known him for some time and I would’ve probably let him anyway. That guy’s a good young man. He’s decent that’s for sure.”

“So, he’s brought other girls here too or what do you mean, Sal?”

“Naah, I’ve only ever seen him here with his family. He’s a family man no doubt.”

Sal winked at you and went to answer his phone ringing in his pocket.

Chris came jogging over to you and gestured for you two to walk outside again. As you reached his car, you gave Chris a questionable look.

“Are you sure that you’re okay to drive? You did fall pretty hard…”

“Yeah, I’m fine but if it makes you feel better then-… Here.”

Chris tossed you his car keys. You let out a small gasp.

“Wait- you would let me drive your car just like that?”

“Sure. Unless you would rather not to-…”

“Nooo, it’s all good.”

You grinned and practically jumped over to the driver’s side. Chris chuckled at your enthusiastic laugh and got in the passenger’s seat. You buckled in and started the car. It was defiantly something else than your own. Chris typed in the new address for your next destination. Then you were off to God knows where. Still you’d never felt more safe with Chris by your side.

The drive was about 30 minutes or so, Chris pointed to an exit where the two of you switched places.

“I wanted to keep going with the element of surprise.”

You didn’t mind and Chris seemed very okay to drive. Although he only drove for about maximum of 5 minutes before he’d parked by what looked like field. Chris had beaten you to open your door, he gently grabbed one of your hands and led you closer to wherever you were going.

“Close your eyes.”

You narrowed your eyes slightly but did as he’d asked.

“Tell me what you smell now.”

“Smell, what do you mean?”

“Just go with me on this. Try to take a deep whiff.”

Again, you did as he told. Inhaling, you could suddenly smell all kinds of smells. Confused, you found yourself inhaling like an asthmatic snail.

“Okay maybe I’m way off here, but I smell cotton candy and popcorn but aren’t we out in the middle of nowhere?”

“Well, yes and no. You’re in fact right, cos if you open your eyes you’ll find out just where we’re right now.”

Slowly you opened your eyes and discovered that you were now standing at by the entrance of a funfair or something that looked like a Carnival. You couldn’t hide your shocked state nor excitement.  You were definitely liking where this was going. Chris beamed as he watched your happy face as it lit up.

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[nonartisticbooknerd]

i notice you ship Kacchako- and there's nothing wrong with that but why? (note I haven't seen mha) from what I know, bakugou is a huge asshole who bullied deku a lot, while uraraka seems to be a nice person- i just wanna know why you ship them lol

oh BOY here comes the essay. 

Please note that this why I ship kacchako. This is not meant to convince anyone to ship kacchako, but simply my reasons as to why I like these two characters together.

To start off I will openly admit that yes, Bakugou is an asshole. He bullied Deku a lot (probably due to that wonderful inferiority/superiority complex he’s got going on) and in general, is pretty loud and rude to everyone. He makes it a point to let everyone know that they are beneath him and goes out of his way to prove that he’s the best and no one could even hope to compare.

Meanwhile, Uraraka is the exact opposite: sweet, bubbly, and very kind to everyone. She actually wants to be a hero for the money to help her parents out bc she comes from a poor family (which I LOVE but that’s a topic for another meta). She never tries to prove herself to anyone as a result, and just focuses on trying to learn to be the best hero possible (because the better you are, the more money you make).

The most notable difference is their relationship with Deku (and actually this is one of my reasons for shipping them but we’ll get to that). Bakugou was Deku’s former friend and he has a strong dislike toward Deku, stemming from an unhealthy need to prove his superiority in every respect over Deku. Uraraka, on the other hand, is one of Deku’s new and close friends, and they get along really well.

So why do I ship kacchako? Mutual respect, understanding, and potential character growth. Explanation of that below, with manga screencaps.

1. Mutual Respect

This is the major point of their ship for me and it stems from their fight in the Sports Festival. 

It’s quite obvious that Uraraka acknowledges Bakugou’s strength, after all, he’s seen as a powerhouse by everyone, and she repeatedly comments on his strength. But it takes a lot to get Bakugou to acknowledge someone. And with Uraraka, he does.

Aizawa just outright says it. Bakugou goes into the fight knowing that Uraraka is an opponent he needs to be wary of because she made it to the final round. Bakugou doesn’t see the small and sweet bubbly girl everyone else in the crowd is seeing, what he sees is an opponent, and Uraraka notices that. And just before launching her final attack, she thanks him.

Actually his reaction to her thanking him is one I love because we’ve never seen that kind of caught-off-guard expression on him before until this moment. To me, it seems that he couldn’t even imagine not taking her seriously because as mentioned before, she made it to the final round so in his mind she has to be strong to do that, and her thanking him for it is making him go “huh? what are you even thanking me for?”.

For her final attack, she drops a meteor shower on his head, he blows it away, and then we get this panel.

This is the first time in the manga that Bakugou acknowledges that someone nearly took him out. His hand is pounding from Quirk overuse and it’s the first time we see an adverse effect of his Quirk, the blowback from using too strong of an explosion. But more important is the fact that he says “that was close”, explicitly acknowledging that she nearly took him out. Respect.

So then after that Uraraka gets up and rushes at him again to attack, even though she’s clearly shown to be at her limit, and we get this from Bakugou:

He calls her by name. That’s incredibly important.

Throughout the manga, Bakugou uses nicknames (Deku, Shitty Hair, Flat Face etc.) to keep people at a distance and let them know he doesn’t give a shit about them. Keep in mind that before, he’d used a nickname for Uraraka, calling her Round Face right at the beginning of the fight. But now that she’s driven him to the limit he knows this girl is strong. And here, when he calls her by her name, he’s acknowledging her and her strength. This is the first person in class 1-A that he calls by name (Kirishima also eventually graduates from Shitty Hair to Kirishima, but that’s way later). After this, he doesn’t go back to using Round Face for her either. He keeps using her name when he refers to her, even in his head.

So Uraraka, at her limit, collapses before she even reaches Bakugou and he’s clearly shaken up by that. He was expecting the fight he’d been dreaming of, where he could give his all and fight an opponent that he genuinely respected and saw as strong, and then she collapsed. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was a look of concern, I think it was more of mixed disappointment and shock.

When he re-enters the stands, all his classmates comment on the fight as he goes to sit down. A classmate (Kaminari) says something along the lines of “I can’t believe you could bring yourself to go so hard against such a fragile/small girl”. And in response comes the single line that was catalyst for me shipping kacchako. “Where do you see fragile?”

This is the first time he’s defended someone other than himself or All Might in this series. It just goes to show that he really does acknowledge Uraraka and her strength, to the point that he’s willing to speak up and say that to others, albeit in a indirect way.

Wayyy later he continues to respect her!

This is part of a page spread of characters introductions as given by Bakugou and Uraraka’s is the only vaguely positive character introduction Bakugou gives. Everyone else gets something kind of aggressive and along the lines of ‘I’ll beat you’ or ‘you’re weak’ and then Uraraka gets ‘her guts and roundness are acceptable’. Other translations say “her guts and roundness are respectable’ and I’m not sure which is correct, but either way, respect!!

The fact that one of the times he was smiling during a fight was against Uraraka. If he only smiles when fighting people he consider to be “towering walls” aka challenges, he must have seen Uraraka as one. Further proof of respect!

Over and over in that Sports Festival fight and then after, Horikoshi makes it a point to establish that Bakugou respects Uraraka’s strength. And that’s a major reason that I ship them. I like that dynamic of two people knowing that the other can kick major ass and respecting the hell out of them for it, especially if one character doesn’t look like they can kick ass.

2. Understanding

This goes a little bit more from Uraraka to Bakugou than the other way around, to be honest, but it’s a reason I ship them all the same. This is shown most clearly in the post- midterm exams omake (which is only in the manga and not the anime).

I love this omake so much because first of all, it reveals that Uraraka watches Bakugou from across the classroom closely enough to pick up on changes in his mood (as evidenced when she says “I sensed your Bakurage Aura” to him) and second, it reveals that she can pick up on changes in his emotional state easily.

But the most important part of that omake is this panel.

This is huge.

The way she outright says that Bakugou is terrified of Izuku’s potential development shows a deep understanding of Bakugou’s emotions and mental state that’s very unique. We never see anything like this level of understanding from any of their other classmates in direct relation to Bakugou. When she says “you act all menacing”, it shows that she knows that Bakugou’s yelling and bluster is an act put on the distance Izuku because he’s scared of him. 

This revelation wasn’t revealed to Deku and All Might until Deku v. Kacchan 2 when Bakugou told the two of them what he was feeling in terms that they could understand. And this was way before this, right after the midterm exams.

She follows this up by asking him to repair his relationship with Deku and be nicer to him. They hadn’t even interacted much, so the fact that she noticed this in the first place and then felt comfortable enough to tell him that to his face says a lot about how she understands him and is comfortable around him.

Bakugou is completely taken aback by this and sit and listens to her and lets her finish before yelling at her, which is big because if he didn’t respect what she had to say, he would have just cut her off and left, but he didn’t. That respect comes back into play.

So Uraraka genuinely gets Bakugou, both emotionally and mentally, and isn’t afraid to tell him about her observations, and that’s another big plus for me. I love how Uraraka can see right through him and catch him off guard every time they interact meaningfully. That deep understanding is an important part of any relationship, and the fact that she can analyze him like this, despite not being a close friend to him was interesting to me because of the potential for character development.

3. Character Development (both canon and potential)

Character development is a big thing for me when it comes to ships. I tend to really like ships that change a character for the better in some way or the other.

The Sports Festival fight changed the both of them. When Bakugou fought Todoroki and told him to give it his all, the speech bubble placement implies he was thinking of his fight with Uraraka when he said that. She’s his standard for a good fight now.

On the other end, Bakugou helped Uraraka realize that she didn’t need to exclusively focus on rescue with her Quirk and she takes an internship under Gunhead as a result, growing her character in a major way. Those Gunhead martial arts get used a lot later on by her, and none of that would have happened if her fight with Bakugou hadn’t happened. Overall, the Sports Festival fight was important to both their character arcs and I love that.

From the understanding part comes more possibility for character development. This is where their differing relationships with Deku come into play. One admires him and the other is scared of his growth. With her understanding of Bakugou and his relationship with Deku, Uraraka could genuinely help repair their relationship.

Also them as training partners! Not only do their Quirks have the potential for incredible compatibility (zero-gravity and explosions = human rockets/missiles??) but they could help the other with new skills. Uraraka could teach Bakugou Gunhead martial arts and help him improve his hand-to-hand Quirkless combat, Bakugou could help Uraraka with comabt awareness and increasing her power. He’s probably also got some ideas for creative applications of her Quirk. Make them training buddies, Horikoshi, I beg of you.

4. Other Things

Uraraka is completely chill with his foul-mouthed nature! She actually finds it even a little funny.

THE WAY SHE’S JUST NOT AT ALL SCARED TO THROW DOWN WITH HIM!! In the post midterms omake she even matches the Bakurage face at the end! She doesn’t take his shit at all and is 100% ready to fight again.

The chocolate manju scene from the war arc is hilarious to me because she’s comfortable enough around him to lightly reprimand him and the way he knows that she’s a foodie and wants to try the chocolate manju is really cute to me.

---

Of course, everything I said can also be platonically interpreted. I would just love for them to be friends in canon, and really, that’s what all of this logically leads to. I just like to dream about it slowly growing into romance during their pro hero years.

[badatjokezz]

Haikyuu!! Rare Pair Fic Recs

i’ve been so hype about some Hq rarepairs lately now imma list some of my fav fanfics, mostly OiSuga mwehehe.... 

(probably gonna add some more in the future)

Oisuga (Oikawa x Sugawara)

1. Stuck in the Middle With You by overlymetaromantic

It's not the kind of blossoming relationship either of them would expect, but maybe, just maybe, it could lead to something good.

1. In which Suga and Oikawa run into each other on a late night convenience store run.

2. In which Suga and Oikawa inadvertently switch bags and end up with the other’s uniform.

3. In which Suga gives Oikawa the lecture he doesn't want but probably needs, and Oikawa might accidentally be a little in love.

4. In which Oikawa won't shut up about Suga, and Iwaizumi plays matchmaker just to make him stop.

5. In which there is not a date, and Suga likes spicy things much more than sweet.

6. In which Karasuno and Aobajousai hold training camps in the same neck of the woods, and the trip back proves to be more revealing than it probably should.

7. In which there might just be a future to this after all.

(Dis is so fluffy i might die)

2. moving on (growing up) by _helios (neocitz)

‘I’ll do it,’ Suga says, walking into their prep school and dropping his bag on the floor next to Oikawa. He shoves the melon bun and drink forward into Oikawa’s hands, and stands there looking down at him because he knows that he needs to not chicken out.

‘You’ll do what?’ Oikawa looks up through his glasses, eyes wide and confused as the other students stream in around them.

‘The fake dating thing, I’ll do it.’

‘Fuck. Yes.’ Oikawa says with a fist pump.

(It’s been AGES since i read Fake/Pretend Relationship fic, this one is goood)

3. how strange, to be remembered by venusintwelfthFandoms

"He is not formed of the type of dust that makes up stars. Suga is not the type of person that stays in the mind of one like Oikawa Tooru, ten years later. He is formed of the type of dust you shake off, the type that settles into the ground."

Ten years after Suga last steps off a high-school court, Oikawa recollects a "Mr. Refreshing" in a post-game interview, and Suga is left scrambling.

(Cute one-shot, Oikawa still remember Mr. Refreshing from Karasuno)

4. all the small things by Authoress for lemedy

Sugawara Koushi.

Oikawa’s brain supplies the name of the person standing at the other end of the aisle before Oikawa can even register him, attuned to spitting out facts about other volleyball players on a second’s notice, even after all these years. Karasuno High vice-captain. 174 cm…no, more like 176 now. Skilled at raising morale and bringing an element of surprise to their strategy. Troublesome. Refreshing. Setter.

The enemy.

(Single Dad! Oikawa, cuuutee ugh)

5. Win Some by kingdra (aroceu) for Icie

Tooru does not have a problem, its name is certainly not Sugawara Koushi, and he is not going to the Karasuno practices just to watch him. Regardless of whatever Iwa-chan says.

(High school romane~)

6. Even as bright as you are? by BKAKCANON

That night when he goes to sleep, he includes "the safety of fairies" on his prayers, making a promise to whoever was listening him, that he'd protect all the fairies and keep their secret safe forever.

[Where Oikawa meets Suga when they are kids and Oikawa believes Suga is secretly a fairy and decides he has to protect his secret all costs.]

(This is basically matches my headcanon)

7. getting to know you by oisugasuga

Suga feels like he’s back on the court then, his heart thudding hard in his ears… so hard he almost misses what Oikawa says. Unfortunately, though, he doesn’t.

"My, my. What a surprise," Oikawa Tooru says. And then… "Hello, Mr. Refreshing."

(Haven’t finished yet but DAMN I LOVE OIKAWA AND SUGA IN HERE, single dad! oikawa, and Suga babysitting oikawa’s kid, def slow burn. Imma follow this fic till death)

8. Dear Reader by hyirule

No one seems to read the paper anymore. But Oikawa likes to for the sports section. One day he finds himself reading a section called "Dear Reader" and finds a submission he can relate to.

Basically messages sent through a page on a newspaper brings to unlikely souls together, who maybe have more in common than they first thought.

(Cannon compliant, simple and... refreshing(?))

9. rest by shicchaan

Tooru looks at the sleeping person beside him as he waits for the lights change into green. The growing fringe of his husband started to cover his eyes but he can still see the beautiful birthmark under the silver haired's left eye.

(Established relationship, fluff fluff!!!)

10. long is the road (that leads me home) by ichweissnichtauch

He thinks about himself, deleting contacts from his phone and throwing coffee cups away without even looking at the string of numbers scrawled in Sharpie ink underneath, and he’s tired of hiding, tired of carefully treading the lines he’d drawn for himself all those years ago.

Just this once, Tooru wants— he thinks he wants to be brave.

Oikawa Tooru is not a stranger to wanting.

(like... 20% Oisuga but i like the way this story follows the Cannon till he get to Argentina)

11. It's Always Been About You by mintycarrots

Every time Tooru had envisioned meeting his soulmate, it was a confession of love, filled with tears of happiness and a lot of making out. It would be a faceless petite girl that would support Tooru in whatever he chose to pursue and would understand when Tooru prioritized volleyball over all else.

It was never a boy on the rival team.

(Soulmate AU)

12. a play in three acts by venusintwelfth

"The first time Sugawara Koushi sees Oikawa Tooru play, he thinks that if he wasn’t so set on volleyball, he’d do well in theater."

the first seijoh x karasuno match through the eyes of suga.

(Kinda poetic i guess, well written af)

13. colors by dazeful

Sugawara Koushi's colorful life as an archer.

(this is like the perfect oisuga one shot ive ever read)

___

IwaSuga (Iwaizumi x Sugawara)

1. And so the moon cried by iwriteinpenFandoms:

The hillocks are the domain of unearthly creatures. Creatures of rot and fog, of music and dance. Like ghosts in the night they travel without leaving footprints, they disappear in a flurry of long dresses and pale hair. Those who are fated to see them risk curses far worse than death. You may hear them, a giggle in the wind. You may smell them, the smell of the fog rolling in through the trees. You should pray you never see them. Iwaizumi Hajime is a simple man. He works a simple farm job and enjoys simple things. After one morning where he woke next to a perfect circle of death and only the memory of brown eyes and cold hands, he finds himself inexplicably drawn to the forest. Will the tales of his childhood play out with him at the center or will he have to disregard all reason?

(Danish Folklore AU)

2. Cry Just A Little by DreadfulMind

Suga was whistling a tune to himself as he opened the door to the bathroom, so he didn't hear the muffled crying through the door. But he could hear it clearly once he was inside. He heard the sharp sob of someone trying to stop.

"Iwaizumi?" He asked, "are you sure you're alright?"

(Simple but c u t e)

3. Generations by Karasuno Volleygays (ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor), mozaikmage

Professional sports blogger Sugawara Koushi writes an article about a volleyball match that bears special meaning to him and his former kouhai: a showdown between Kitagawa Daiichi and Yukigaoka Middle School, ten years after the teams faced off for the first time. He doesn't plan on capturing the attention of the world of sports journalism, and he certainly doesn't expect himself to end up having a thing for one of the coaches involved, one Iwaizumi Hajime.

(Time-Skip, I loved it)

___

KuroTsuki (Kuroo x Tsukishima)

1. Invictus by Chiru

Kuroo T. » So let me get this straight (gay?) Kuroo T. » You want me to pretend to be your perfect and fabulous boyfriend, so that your little freckled friend will stop trying to set you up with cute little highschool girls? Tsukishima Kei » yes Kuroo T. » Aha. Tsukishima Kei » you'll do it? Kuroo T. » I don't know. I missed the part where I get something out of it. Tsukishima Kei » you get to annoy me. Unfortunately Kuroo T. » Tempting, Tsukki, very tempting indeed.

(Fake/Pretend Relationship, some fluff, some angst, i read this in the middle of the night and cried, fortunately happy ending)

2. hold onto hope if you got it by nekolyssi

"Now, in the beginning of their third year of high school, the obnoxious hollering and incessant spirit of his teammates became normalcy to Kei. And now, normalcy is this. Weekly psych meetings. Pharmacy waiting rooms. Prescriptions. Refusal of prescriptions. More prescriptions."

(Not finished yet but yep prolly gonna put this one to one of those best haikyuu fics ive ever read. I wasnt so interested at first but i really like the idea of mental ilness etc, this is g o o d!!)

3. [KuroTsuki Fest Week 2017] Traces by Heartythrills 

Kuroo’s disappeared for a little over a week now, and suddenly a 4 year old who looks like him appears before Tsukishima’s apartment.

(Age regression, fluff)

4. I swear by xArtemisx

Like the shadow that's by your side I'll be there

"What are you doing here, Tetsu? It's cold." Kei asked softly. Tetsurou smiled. Hearing his name came out of Kei's lips is always music to his ears.

"Nothing. I just came to think that whatever memory we make, may it be happy or sad memories, the bright moon and the starry night sky is always there to be the witness. Did you notice?" The alpha answered and Kei nodded. He also noticed it.

"Yes, I did noticed it."

(I love agony and sad ending....)

5. Honeybee by ClosetGoblin

Tsukishima has trouble sleeping one night during a Third Gym Camping Trip. So, he takes his acoustic guitar and passes the time with some music, and gets a visitor. Maybe he doesn't mind Kuroo's voice as he does the screeching that Lev and Hinata call singing.

(Simple but sweet)

6. Say You Like Me by the_madame21

It's been three months. And Tsukishima Kei is going to see Kuroo Tetsurou.

(light angst and.. s m u t. Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamic)

7. trying to get to you by mytsukkishine

Everything came crashing down on Kuroo when Kei had left him alone with nothing but the moon shining down on him.

Wherein, Kuroo was struggling to move on and decided that he wouldn't mind being with Kei again.

(sad beginning? yes. sad ending? y e s. you’re a masochist? come get your juice)

8. Please Hold by ThemooncatFandoms

Kei was expecting Kuroo to do one of two things; Send a text to the office saying that they will have to call back another time and continue what they started, or excuse himself from Kei to answer the call, which was most likely. He shouldn’t have been surprised when Kuroo does neither of those things.

(short but hot. what’s hotter than quiet sex?)

___

Ushijima x Oikawa

1. This Insignificant Pride and Prejudice by Mysecretfanmoments, Pouler (poulerslashes)

Oikawa Tooru graduated high school with the burning desire to succeed in his college career. He'd hoped that might include taking down his arch-nemesis along the way, but when he finds that his college team hosts an offensively familiar face, he can't help but think that the universe might be conspiring against him. After all, what could be worse than playing on the same team as Ushijima?

(It was funny for me reading oikawa/ushijima fic with that “you should’ve come to Shiratorizawa” joke at first but somehow i found this one... endearing :3, cute poor ushiwaka)

___

Atsumu x Nishinoya

1. All the things I love about Yuu by KilluCoulomb

Atsumu Miya is fixated in Nishinoya. The way the boy acts, talks, plays. He Carefully observes from afar, but he slowly warms up to the Libero. Friendship becomes more and more intimate. Atsumu realizes Nishinoya is not that simple guy he met three years ago. And he loves it.

(pro volleyball players AU)

2. i'll see you then by noyabeans (snowdrops)

Nishinoya Yuu and Miya Atsumu build a rivalry and something more.

“Oh, it's Karasuno’s libero,” he says, mildly surprised to see Nishinoya’s face staring back at him from the brochure, grinning wide with his arms folded over his chest.

Contains spoilers for the current manga arc, up to chapter 380.

[alhamdulillah10]

This Life of Deception

This worldly life is like an unchaste woman, who is not satisfied with one husband. So, be satisfied with whatever Allah grants you from this worldly life.

Walking thereon is like walking in a land that is filled with beasts, and water that teams with crocodiles. That which causes delight, turns to be the source of grief. Pain is found in the midst of pleasures, and delights are derived from its sorrows.

Lusts were granted in abundance to humans, but those who believed in the unseen turned away from them, while those who follow their lusts were caused to regret.

The first category, are those, in which Allah says, “They are on (true) guidance from their Lord, and they are the successful.” (Al-Baqarah, 2:5)

However, the other category, are those to whom Allah says, “(O you disbelievers)! Eat and enjoy yourselves (in this worldly life) for a little while. Verily, you are the Mujrimun (polytheists, disbelievers, sinners, criminals, etc.).” (Al-Mursalat, 77:46)

When the successful ones are aware of the reality of this worldly life being sure of the inferiority of its degree, they overcame their vain desires for the sake of the Hereafter. They have been awakened from their heedlessness to remember what their enemies took from them during their period of idleness.

Whenever they perceive the distant journey they must undertake, they remember their aim, so it appears easy for them. Whenever life becomes bitter, they remember this verse in which Allah says, “This is your Day which you were promised ” (AI-Anbiya’, 21:103)

Surah Al-Hadid (its title meaning, ‘the iron’) talks about the reality of the transient life of this world. Several descriptive words are used to reveal to us its true reality. After that, Allah warns us to remember that the life of this world is nothing but a “deceptive enjoyment”

In order to see the real meanings being described by our Creator as He details to us the reality of the life of this world, it would be beneficial to ponder on the root meanings of the several Arabic words Allah has used in the above verse. All the meanings have been taken from Edward William Lane’s online Arabic-to-English Lexicon:

لَعِبٌ

(i) Play, sport, game, fun, joke, prank, or jest.

لَهْوٌ

(ii) Diversion, pastime, sport, or play; especially that which is frivolous or vain; that which occupies a person so as to divert him or her from that which should render him sad or solicitous/anxious/concerned.

زِينَةٌ

(iii) Decoration, finery, show, pomp, or gaeity.

تَفَاخُرٌ

(iv) Glorifying or boasting (viz. to each other), praising or commending own selves for certain properties or qualities, such as enumerating or recounting the particulars of their own ancestral nobility or eminence; or their honorable deeds. Contending for superiority by reason of honors arising from memorable deeds or qualities, or from parentage or relationship, and other things relating to themselves or their ancestors; also: boasting of qualities extrinsic to themselves such as wealth, rank or station.

تَكَاثُرٌ فِى الاٌّمْو��لِ وَالاٌّوْلْـد

(v) Contending, one with another, for superiority in number of (different types of) wealth and children.

مَتَـاعُ الْغُرُور

(vi) The word مَتَـاعُ means anything useful or advantageous viz. utensils, furniture, or food, and the word الْغُرُور means that by which one is deceived; something false and vain. In other words, the life of this world is a provision that is deceptive. It can be used to achieve the best end i.e. Allah’s pleasure and an abode in Paradise in the Hereafter, but is very deceptive in and of itself.

Allah has used a total of five terms and phrases to describe to us the reality of the life of this world in the Quran. Analysis of their meanings clearly reveals that indeed, the life of this world is such that it makes a believer lose focus of the Hereafter.

Consider this – games are fun to play. They cause us to get really involved in them, whether as participants, or as onlookers. The aspect of winning versus losing, or earning more points by achieving a target, enthuses the more keen ones among us to a state of physical and mental euphoria.

When anyone is involved in a game as a participant, whether he is playing outside, or playing a computer game indoors, he is distracted perhaps from more pending matters that require his attention. For some sports enthusiasts, tearing themselves away from a game to answer a call of nature, eat a meal, or pray an obligatory prayer also becomes difficult.

Now, with this picture in mind, we can see why Allah has called the life of this world “a game.” We get so involved in the “game” itself, in its short-term goals and enjoyments, that we tend to lose focus on the importance of the Hereafter. As an example, someone might postpone performing Hajj if important events related to his career are scheduled to take place at the same time in the calendar.

Allah has next called the life of this world “لَهْوٌ” – a “diversion.” It has the potency to make a person lose focus of the goals of the Hereafter. Imagine a person driving  a car; if he or she spots something interesting on the side of the road that will “divert” him or her from driving, he or she will definitely lose focus of the road, resulting in a possible collision.

تَفَاخُرٌ بَيْنَكُم

These words imply boasting to others, and being boasted to, as the above explanation has stated, about intangible assets of prestige and value, such as honorable lineage, awards and achievements, or righteous deeds. Anything that can cause a person to become proud in and of themselves, can be boasted about. It is important to note here, that a person’s intention makes the difference. Several people display their, awards and plaques in their drawing rooms or offices, where they receive guests. This, too, if done to establish one’s credibility in one’s profession, for example, as a practicing doctor whose patients want reassurance that they are coming to a reliable person, would not be blameworthy. However, if it is done to make oneself appear better than others, than it would be تَفَاخُرٌ بَيْنَكُم.

It is interesting how Allah has combined two of the words He has used in this verse of Surah Al-Hadid to describe the life of this world, in another verse in the Quran: the first verse of Surah Al-Takaathur:

أَلْهَاكُمُ التَّكَاثُرُ

“The mutual rivalry for piling up (the good things of this world) diverts you (from the more serious things)“. [102:1]

Since تَّكَاثُرُ means contending to increase in numbers of tangible blessings, it is clear from this verse too, that human beings are “diverted” in this life by this, from their primary goal – which should be success in the Hereafter.

The word زِينَةٌ means beauty and decoration; anything that is instictively pleasing to look at, or beautified to attract our attention. This could include everything that falls under the umbrella of beauty e.g. scenic landscapes, lush vegetation, flowers, and waterfalls, to those things that are made beautiful; which the human heart enjoys.

Bring to mind jewelry, interior decor, architecture, branded/stylish couture, fashion, luxuries, accessories and diverse cuisines. Human beings love to create, experiment and play around with every conceivable kind of raw material provided by Allah, to transform it into something beautiful for their adornment or consumption. Yes, the life of this world definitely revolves a lot around زِينَةٌ !

Allah goes on after this, in the above verse, to elaborate the simile of this world’s life: of it being like the vegetation or herbage that grows on earth, and pleases its tiller/farmer when it reaches its lustrous, colorful peak viz. the plants or crops become strong and fully grown, bearing fruit or grain. However, after a short period of this lustre, color and vibrance, the plants eventually wither, become dry, lifeless straw, and die. The same earth that was alive with crops a while ago becomes empty and plain again; the color, leaves, fruit, grains or flowers are nowhere to be seen, as if they never existed!

That is, in reality, the same thing that happens to everyone and everything during the life of this world. The young, beautiful face becomes wrinkled and haggard; the lustrous hair becomes limp and grey; the strong bones become brittle, and strong muscles give way to weakness; the eyes lose their sight; the erect spine becomes bent. Moreover, every inanimate thing also goes into decline: the architecturally sound mansion becomes depleted and worn over the years, erosion causing its dilapidation and ruin; the clothes lose their newness, shine and glory, withering away; ‘new’ technology loses its value and becomes obsolete and unwanted; the flashy vehicle goes out of vogue and ends up in a junk yard as rubble. The list is endless.

Now that our eyes have been opened to the truth about the life of this world; about how its adornments and distractions are alluring but deceptive in nature, because they divert our attention from the Hereafter and make us think that all this ‘glitter’ will last forever; when in fact, everything on this earth will turn to dust as Allah has promised, we should remember the importance of consistently reciting and reading the Quran as a daily routine, so that we are reminded of this important fact about this transitory life. That way, the reminders such as this verse, that tells us in the end about the two options we have before us – either painful torment, or the forgiveness of Allah and His pleasure – will help keep us focused on those deeds that will enable us to enjoy the truly enjoyable, beautiful, desirable, and eternal life, in shaa’ Allah — the one in the Hereafter.

Please share.

[arhvste]

TSUKISHIMA KEI - IMPOSSIBLE AND INSUFFERABLE PART 3

this is it y’all the chapter you’ve been dying for

hara bullying hour is officially in session bitches 😈

i will fix any grammar errors tomorrow my fellow simps now have fun reading about little bitch hara’s downfall

part 1 part 2

Tsukishima had exited his classroom after the last bell had rung still in the same foul mood he found himself to be trapped in as of late.

“Tsukishima!”

Hinata bounded towards the tall boy with a big smile on his face.

His foul mood had worsened in nanoseconds.

“What.” he coldly spat at the energetic ginger.

“You’re coming with me. Captain's orders.”

Tsukishima frowned and reluctantly obliged as he followed Hinata into the clubroom where Daichi was sitting on the table alone with what looked like an ipad.

Opening the door, Daichi welcomed him with a warm smile to which Tsukishima tried to reciprocate even though it was clear the clubroom was not where he wanted to be.

“Hey Tsukishima, I have a few people to talk to you right now. I need to run some errands before practice. I’ll meet you in the gym once you’re done, take as much time as you need though, I’ll see you shortly.”

“Thanks for the concern but I’m really okay.”

Daichi had already left Tsukishima and the ipad in the clubroom alone. Irritated, Tsukishima sat down on the table and picked up the ipad only to instantly pull a face of disgust.

“Why? Why you of all people.”

“And what an absolute pleasure it is to see you too Tsuki.”

There on the screen showed the captains and setters of Fukurodani and Nekoma. Bokuto sat there with a wide grin on his face, excited to be talking to one of his ‘students’ as he liked to call and next to him, Kuroo who was smiling smugly at the agitated middle blocker. Akaashi and Kenma in the background were seen keeping an eye on their captains to make sure they weren’t crossing the line of invasion for poor Tsukishima.

“Whatever you’re about to say to me I’m not interested, thanks.”

“But Tsukiiiiiiii!” Bokuto whined pouting through the camera.

“Let your wonderful and wise Senpais give you advice and take advantage of it.” Kuroo smoothly spoke, propping his hand under his chin.

“No.” Tsukishima wanted to end the call right there and then but, a small part of him felt bad for both Kenma and Akaashi having to waste their time being there too so he opted to not hit the tempting ‘end’ button just yet.

“Listen, we heard you had a rough break up and we want to give you some advice.”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes before he spoke. “So enlighten me, my two most wonderful and clever senpais.” sarcasm dripping from every single word.

“See Kuroo! He does love and respect us!” Bokuto was beaming as he shook his fellow captain and friends' shoulders slightly.

“He might respect you but I can assure you Tsukishima-san is far from loving you.”

“Akaashi don’t say that!” Bokuto cried out pouting once again.

“Honestly Tsuki, you didn’t seem like the type that would suffer from heartbreak to me. Guess I was wrong.”

Tsukishima was ready to cut the rooster headed captain off right then and there but Kuroo began to speak again.

“You also didn’t seem like someone who disliked volleyball either at first but I was wrong about that too. Look, your ex-girlfriend obviously meant more to you than what you’re choosing to insist but if it’s affecting your plays I’m going to need you to do something about it. I quite enjoy playing against you simple country folk. You are good opponents I’ll give you that, but you won’t be if your playing ability starts to deteriorate.”

“Yeah what he said! Tsuki, how did you even get a girlfriend anyway? If I was a girl I’d run 7 miles from you with that mean glare. But anyway, snap out of your bad mood and go get her back if you’re still hung up on her. If she has this affect on you she must mean something to you right? Do it go get her back kid.”

“You two sure do have a lot to say for a pair of relationship virgins.” Kenma quietly spoke up.

“Kenma! If I wanted to be so brutally attacked I would’ve asked Yaku.” Kuroo feigned an offended look.

“He’s right though.”

“Akaashi stop or I will cry.” Bokuto turned and threatened his close friend only to have him roll his eyes back at him.

“Look, Y/N I mean L/N, had a long relationship with me I think it’s normal for me to be slightly off my game for a short while. Why is it such a big deal and why can’t you all just mind your own business. Focus on getting yourselves girlfriends, if that's even possible, before trying to get me back together with my ex one.”

“Listen here young one -”

“Oh here we go.” Kenma mumbled.

Kuroo paid no mind to him as he continued. “- Myself and Bo are ever so busy. We’re third years and captains. We have no time for girls but I can assure you we both have the option to have one if we want whenever we want.”

“No you can't. Girls find your hair stupid and probably don’t find chemistry puns funny or attractive.”

“Kenma! Are you here to help or to bully me?”

“Both.”

Bokuto snickered but was silenced by Akaashi’s sharp voice.

“Stop laughing Bokuto-san you’re no better. The closest you’ve gotten to a girl is our managers who babysit you if anything and you still owe one of them money.”

Bokuto’s face dropped as Kuroo’s smirk widened.

“Kuroo stop laughing.”

“I’m not laughing.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

The bickering between the Tokyo prefecture students went back and forth until Bokuto stood up to chase Kuroo around who had grabbed Kenma to help him.

Tsukishima had just about had it and had his finger hovering above the ‘end’ button.

Akaashi took it upon himself to pick up the device they were communicating through and leave the room Kenma was currently trapped in with the two child-like captains.

“My apologies for the two of them, they're a handful. But what they’re saying does hold some value. Tsukishima-san, you’re a talented player and sure this must be something you’re trying hard to overcome but, I do think Bokuto-san and Kuroo-san are somewhat right. This girl clearly means something to you and keeping yourself in denial won’t help you. It’s important to keep control of personal issues as it will affect your performance in a match otherwise emotions build up and you’ll lose focus.”

Tsukishima was taken aback slightly. Akaashi was never one to speak up often, only giving his input when needed unlike his friend who would talk for the sake of it. Tsukishima had genuine respect for Akaashi and had decided that from their meeting at the training camp. He was someone Tsukishima found level headed and honest. Someone worthy of giving their opinion in Tsukishima’s head anyway.

“Yeah. I’ll give it some thought. Thank you for your time Akaashi-san I look forward to our next meeting.”

“My pleasure Tsukishima-san and if Bokuto-san bothers you, don’t hesitate to contact me and I’ll sort it out for you.”

“You’re like his babysitter.”

“He needs one. He has the mental age of a 5 year old. He is still a good captain with good intentions though. Same goes for Kuroo-san. They are concerned for you and want you to know that they are here if you need them. They’ve really taken a shine to you.”

Tsukishima almost smiled. Sure the two loud third years were irritating and provoking at times, they had changed his perspective on volleyball and it was thanks to them he found himself fall in love with the sport he played. He only wished he had the girl he loved too. Not that he’d ever admit that out loud though.

“I do somewhat appreciate them, I suppose. Anyway I had better go. Sorry for all the trouble Akaashi-san, please apologise to Kozume-san too.”

“No worries, take care and I hope to see the usual or improved standard of yourself when we next play.”

“I’ll try.”

And with that the call had ended. Tsukishima didn’t want to admit it but the points Kuroo and Bokuto had made to him did make some sort of sense and he was silently grateful to them.

Entering the gym felt good for the first time in a while.

Nodding at Daichi, Tsukishima participated in the usual drills coach Ukai was running. Keeping to himself, Tsukishima thought over the current situation and evaluated his options. He wanted to talk to you again but his pride wouldn’t allow it. Not while you apparently have a new boyfriend. That stupid Hara Itsuki none the less too.

-

2 weeks had passed since then and to Tsukishima’s annoyance, both Bokuto and Kuroo made it their responsibility to contact him every few days to check on his progress and wellbeing. Sure he was technically their rivals, but neither Kuroo or Bokuto cared. They saw Tsukishima as a worthy and respectable opponent and someone they wanted to be good role models to.

The rumours had begun to die down much to your relief and you had decided to distance yourself from Hara ever so slightly to discourage people from getting the wrong idea. Hara noticed this and he didn’t like it. He didn’t like it at all.

-

5pm at Karasuno highschool was usually a peaceful time. Volleyball practice had ended and very few students were left on campus.

Tsukishima had been making his way out of practice when his phone rang. Another facetime call came up on his screen and immediately his face scrunched up.

“Don’t you have anyone else to bother?”

“Nope ~”

Tsukishima snarled as he made his way to his locker to grab his biology textbook before heading home.

“Hang on I’m gonna add Bo to the call.”

“Must you? I can just about handle you both one on one and I don’t even like doing that.”

“Such a sharp tongue Tsuki. I only hope you're working on your blocks and observations to be just as sharp again.”

“Hey, hey hey Tsuki!”

“Ugh.”

The two captains spoke to each other briefly as Tsukishima kept them on the call while unlocking his locker until a familiar voice piqued his interest.

“Shush for a sec would you.”

Tsukishima demanded the two third years as they stopped and stopped talking.

The blonde first year could hear your voice nearby and from what it sounded like you were in slight distress.

“Stop it you piece of shit!”

“Thats Y/N’s voice.” Tsukishima quietly muttered as the two captains listened carefully.

Quietly walking closer to where you were heard, Tsukishima noticed Hara had you cornered against the wall and it didn’t look like he was letting you go anytime soon.

“Listen to me Y/N. I’m fucking sick of waiting. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to do anything with you? You’re so fucking naive it’s pathetic.”

Tsukishima was taken aback slightly. Hara had just insulted you? But weren’t you dating him? Deciding not to step in just yet, he decided to continue observing from a distance and then make a decision on what he should do.

“Hara, listen to me. You broke me and Tsukishima up whether that was your intention or not. I rejected you because I don’t want to date anyone. Especially not you and you know why. Let me go now.” Your tone was icy and your glare was hard.

Lowkey Tsukishima was proud of the tone you were using. Before the two of you had started dating, you were never nasty to anyone. You did start to pick up the habits of Tsukishima’s spiteful tone however a few months into your relationship and he was proud of that.

“Listen here you fucking slut. Your lanky boyfriend only got in the way. Poor naive little Y/N did you really think I was interested? Your personality is something I’ve been forcing myself to put up with for months and I still haven’t dicked you down yet. You’re a selfish brat.”

Your face twisted with disgust. You were furious, enraged even. Since your fight with Tsukishima you had built up your tolerance to harsh words so Hara’s insensitive language didn’t affect as much as it probably would’ve a few months ago.

“Who the hell gave you the confidence? As if I’d ever let a creature like you touch me. Did you really think I’d let you sleep with me after you drove a wedge between me and Tsukishima? You’re a sick little bitch an ugly one too!”

Now Tsukishima was proud of you. Harsh insults, cutting edge tone, dark scowl and a whole load of attitude. Whether you liked it or not, your time spent over the long months with your ex boyfriend had transformed you into his own Frankenstein's monster and he took a small hint of pride in that.

Hara grew angry and slammed his hand harder against the wall making you flinch.

“What makes you think I’m waiting for your permission. You’re helpless Y/N. A helpless little slut who’s about to get what she deserves.”

Your eyes clenched shut. There was no chance in you winning a physical fight with this boy. You had just about lost hope.

“AHAHAHAHAHA BO DOESN’T HE SOUND LIKE A GREMLIN!”

“BRO YOU’RE RIGHT HE DOES!! I JUST KNOW FROM HIS MID PUBESCENT VOICE HE SMELLS LIKE MAYO OR SOME SHIT!”

“STOP IT YOU CHEEKY BASTARD I’M GONNA PISS MYSELF!”

“DON’T BLAME ME, BLAME LITTLE PITCHY VOICE BITCH AT KARASUNO!”

Hara’s head snapped to face Tsukishima who was sighing in embarrassment at his two upperclassmen’s comments. Kuroo and Bokuto were currently having a field day mocking the ‘little bitch boy’ Hara.

You looked up as your eyes widened at the sight of your ex boyfriend stood there, phone in one hand, bag and textbook in the other. He was slightly sweaty from training and he held a dark expression to his face.

“What the actual fuck?” Hara spat out.

“I’m afraid you’ve been caught out Hara-san.” Tsukishima cooly said as the screeches of the two captains on the phone lowered down.

“Tsuki PLEASE show us what little bitch boy looks like I’m begging you!”

“Yeah show us Tsuki!”

“Ready to have your eyes burned?” Tsukishima snickered as he flipped the camera and pointed it towards the now raging Hara.

“WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT NO I AM GONNA PISS MYSELF!”

“IT’S THE EXPRESSION FOR ME!”

“Guys stop being so mean I think he’s going to cry.”

Hara snarled and glared straight at Tsukishima who had decided to give into Bokuto and Kuroo and encourage their provocative behaviour for once.

“You’re the one who’s going to be crying you lanky bit-AH SHIT FUCK!”

Hara was cut off by your knee making quick contact with his crotch with heavy force.

“Felt kinda small down there buddy.”

With Hara on the ground clutching his assaulted private area, you ran away from him and next to Tsukishima’s side.

“NO WAY DID SHE JUST SAY YOU FELT SMALL DOWN THERE THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD I’M SO GLAD WE CALLED TODAY AHAHAHA!”

“LITTLE DICK PITCHY VOICE BITCH BOY!”

Tsukishima made a mental note to not ever encourage the two captains to be as irritating as they were being to Hara now but since he wasn’t on the receiving end it couldn’t hurt to push them a little bit.

Hara began to move and both you and Tsukishima stood towering above him.

“Oi Tsuki I don't condone violence but… kick him if you’re bad.”

“Do it Tskui, do it for the boys.”

“Nobody is kicking anyone.”

A new voice was heard in the halls.

“Sawamura-san.” You bowed your head slightly as he smiled at you and Tsukishima briefly before turning his attention to the two fellow captains on the call with Tsukishima.

“I’d appreciate it if you two didn’t try to corrupt my players thank you.”

“Do you country kids not ever have a bit of rough house from time to time?”

“Not when I’m around no.” Daichi replied back to the bedhead captain who only smirked in return.

Now turning his gaze to the whimpering boy on the floor Daichi raised an eyebrow.

“What happened here.”

“Attempted assault.” Tsukishima swift replied.

“Attempted? That bitch did assault me!” Hara cried from the floor.

“Kuroo listen! The gremlin’s voice is even more pitchy!”

Daichi sighed and grabbed the boy up from the floor.

“I’m not stupid. Tsukishima isn’t the type to lie and L/N doesn’t exactly look thrilled to be in your presence either. I think me and you should take a little trip down to the principal's office and have a look through the cctv footage.”

“Get rekted.” Bokuto snickered as Daichi dragged the disgraced boy off towards the reception.

“Listen I think you two have some things to talk about so we’re gonna go now. Remember what we said to you Tsuki. Call you soon!”

“Get that cooch my son!”

Tsukishima immediately hung up after Bokuto’s last comment which earned a snicker from you.

“Look, Tsukishima, I’m really really sorry about what went down a while ago. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it and it was wrong of me not to just approach you and express my issues I had with you. In all honesty I didn’t have a huge problem with your attitude, Hara got into my head a bit and would tell me my reputation was being dragged down by you.”

Tsukishima stared down at you as he examined your face. He could tell you were being genuine but he knew you both needed time to talk things through and be more transparent with each other before picking things back up from where they left off.

“I know Y/N. I’m sorry for what I said too. I know I said some hurtful things but I didn’t mean them. You’re worth more than what I claimed you were and for that I apologize. I just wish you had been more open with me.”

Your eyes widened slightly. Tsukishima never apologised so this was a big deal to you. You gave the boy a soft smile.

“It’s going to take some time for us both to heal. A lot went down today but if you’ll let me, I want to give us a chance to rebuild things between us. I still love you no matter how much I try to deny it. We need to work on communication obviously but I do want to give us another shot, Tsukishima.”

“Kei. It’s Kei to you. And yeah you’re right. We do need to be more open with each other. I’m not saying we should get back together right now, but I do care about you and I suppose I do need you in a weird way. I’m happy to work on us if that’s what you want.”

Tsukishima smiled down at you. The first genuine smile in a while which you immediately returned back to him.

-

Hara had caused a lot of damage. But you had the time to rebuild it all and that’s just what the two of you did.

This was obvious to all 3 captains involved in watching over Tsukishima when they saw the improvement in his playing.

Sure Tsukishima found people irritating often, but thanks to their concern a weight was lifted off his shoulder. Hara was expelled for attempted sexual assault, and you were being more clear with him.

It would take a while for things to go back to what they used to be, but getting rid of Hara and having you back by his side was a good start.

[a-crimson-lion]

“It Makes Me Wanna Keep Him At Arm’s Length” An Overview On Katsuki Bakugo’s Development

[I should by no means be the one writing this analysis, but here we are. Obviously it’s an overview on Katsuki’s character development, but there’s a bit more to it than that. Keep reading if you want the details.]

Table of Contents

i) Prologue

I) A Brief Explanation

II) The “What The F*** Is Your Existence” Phase

II.A) Breaking The Barriers

III) The “I Can’t Let You Get Ahead Of Me” Phase

IV) The “Why Don’t You Care About Yourself” Phase

V) Final Address+Conclusion

Word Count: 4415

[Warning: Contains manga spoilers up to Ch. 284. Will also include spoilers for the movies and OVAs, as well as the special Deku & Bakugo: Rising two-shot manga. Reader’s discretion is advised. Not scared off yet? Good. Let’s do this.]

i) Prologue

Alright, no beating around the bush, I guess.

We all know this has to deal with Ch. 284, and the milestone that came with it. We got a rare look inside Katsuki’s perspective, and we saw firsthand how much his perspective has changed from the start of the story. I don’t think we’ve ever gotten such an in-depth look into Katsuki’s psyche since Deku vs Kacchan 2. It’s honestly impressive.

...which is why I’m so confused by a certain kind of response to it.

When you look past the swarms of tumblr posts absolutely losing their s*** over Katsuki getting further character development, you come across an… admittedly troubling response. The idea that “Katsuki always cared.” The idea that as early as the Battle Trial, if not middle school, Katsuki was secretly keeping an eye out for Izuku in their tumultuous relationship.

...no. Just-. No, what the-

I’ll get to why this particular response pisses me off in a bit, but before that, I wanna give a run down of Katsuki’s development, according to the narrative. Anyone who’s been around my blog long enough knows that I don’t exactly hold Katsuki in good graces. (Pretty much the opposite, actually.) However, in light of recent developments, that’s not what this post is gonna be focusing on. And as such, I’ll keep the snark and branch conversations to a minimum… to the best of my abilities.

So… how are we gonna do this?

I) A Brief Explanation

After we finish this brief “tutorial” section, the next three segments of the post will cover the various time frames of Katsuki’s development. I’ll be going through a general rundown of Katsuki’s perspective and the various evidence points that lead me to my conclusions. It’s essentially a glorified retelling. Sound good? Alrighty then!

II) The “What The F*** Is Your Existence” Phase

Time Frame: Ch. 1-Ch. 116 [Sludge Villain Arc-Late Provisional Hero License Exam Arc]

In case the Prologue didn’t make things clear, let me spell it out: Katsuki didn’t always care.

At least, he didn’t “always care” in the positive sense.

To clarify, this isn’t just 3rd Year Middle School Katsuki to UA Katsuki. This is all the way back to the River Incident. Katsuki has had this mentality for that long and then some when you shift out of backstory territory. We’re talking about the same kid who nearly murdered Izuku in the Battle Trial, blasted Izuku to kingdom come in the Training of the Dead OVA, and decked Izuku during the Final Exams. So…

The following hinges majorly on the line Katsuki stated in Chapter 284, and the title of this analysis: “It makes me wanna keep him at arm’s length.” Contrary to popular belief, this does not just apply to the idea that Katsuki wants to stick around Izuku to keep him from destroying himself.

...it’s also a major contributor to the reason Katsuki bullied Izuku in the past.

So let’s backtrack to the River incident. Katsuki takes one wrong step on a log, slips, and falls down into the river below. Izuku is the only one that goes down to help him. This infuriates Katsuki because he was fine, as was said by him and everyone but Izuku that was present that day. This is also the first time Katsuki becomes aware of something he echoes in the Ch. 284 flashback:

“He just… Deep down, he doesn’t take himself into account, y’know?”

This is Katsuki’s first run in with Izuku’s inherent selflessness. Initially, he takes it as pity; in his words, Izuku is “looking down on him.” And this bothers him a great deal. Then when it comes to Quirks, Katsuki gets one and Izuku doesn’t. This assures Katsuki of something he shortly discovered previously: Izuku isn’t all that special.

It’s a brief comfort. Because Izuku hasn’t taken the damn hint and stopped hanging out with him and his friends. The Quirked kids. The normal kids.

And worst still, he’s willing to get in Katsuki’s way just because someone else is in his line of fire. In the back of his mind, it’s the River Incident all over again, though he’s not being feared for; he’s being feared of. It’s all wrong. Deku isn’t strong like the rest of them. Deku can’t be a hero. Deku knows that.

...he knows that he doesn’t stand a chance, right? He knows how the world really works. Is he… is he putting on an act?

One of the few remarkable traits Katsuki has right from the get-go is his disdain against dishonesty. So, when he sees Izuku putting on a brave face and acting like a hero, and Katsuki decides that Izuku’s just “pretending,” Katsuki takes the matter into his own hands. He’ll get Izuku to show his true colors in due time. That’s what heroes do, right? Take down the bad guys? And Izuku faking about caring for others when everyone else clearly puts themselves first and foremost sounds pretty bad guy-like, at least at the time.

So, Izuku keeps on trucking, occasionally trying to join back up with Katsuki’s group on a near frequent basis. Even when that fails, he tries his damnedest to catch up.

But what many people forget is that at some point, Izuku stopped following, at least actively.

By Chapter 1, he’s making sure to keep from drawing attention to himself. He’s not as enthusiastic as everyone else in the class, he tries backing away from Katsuki and shrinking down on himself, tries defusing the situation. That doesn’t sound like Izuku’s still trying to keep up. Even in the special two-shot manga dedicated to Heroes: Rising, Izuku isn’t the one to draw attention to Katsuki’s presence. And even when he does go after Katsuki and the villain, his attention is more so focused on the villain, thoughts of staying out of Katsuki’s way to not offend him likely somewhere in his mind.

So then why does Katsuki keep antagonizing him in the first chapter of canon proper? And even before that, most likely?

“It makes me wanna keep him at arm’s length.”

...Izuku didn’t stop being Izuku. Izuku didn’t stop being selfless.

And his selflessness is what pisses Katsuki off to no end. So, he keeps pursuing Izuku, keeps trying to get him to “drop the act.” Makes him a “punching bag,” as Izuku states in Chapter 8. Because the way things work, Izuku should not be trying to be a hero. He should not be trying to put on a brave face when he’s scared s***less. He should not be sticking his neck out for others when he doesn’t (or rather, didn’t) have anything to stick up for himself.

Katsuki was born with something that made everyone consider him prime hero material. Izuku was born without that, and was considered the opposite… and yet, he still tries.

And this character trait, this selflessness, it drives Katsuki insane. And it continues to do so well beyond the Battle Trial Arc. Even when Katsuki is able to begrudgingly accept that Quirkless Deku has a Quirk now, somehow, his selflessness continues to bring Katsuki grief. While it’s never inherently brought up, this is the dividing factor between Izuku’s fight against Shoto in the Sport’s Festival and Katsuki’s fight with Shoto in the Sport’s Festival.

Izuku was willing to go all out at the cost of himself just so Shoto could accept what was his. Katsuki just wanted a good brawl, to be the undisputed first place.

This even continues well into the Final Exams, though the fact that Katsuki is running high on arrogance and anger does nothing to soothe matters. It takes a deck to face and later an explosive kabedon wall smash to get Izuku and Katsuki working together, and let’s not forget that when Izuku was trying to get Katsuki to realize they were still fighting All Might, regardless of whatever handicaps he may or may not have, he gets decked in the nose for his efforts. While it’s technically a subtler play on Izuku’s selflessness and concern for others, Katsuki likely took it as further mockery, another attempt for Deku to try and get under his skin and throw him off.

In any case, throughout this time period, Katsuki cares f*** all for Izuku or his philosophy, opting to brute force things up until the very end of the time frame. But what causes the eventual shift?

II.A) Breaking The Barriers

A number of things, actually.

None of the proceeding events ever do a clean cut on Katsuki’s worldview. It’s more like chiseling through a wall than breaking it down with a hammer.

The Sludge Villain is the first hint that Izuku might not be faking and Katsuki might not be at the top. While many claim that Katsuki leaves Izuku alone because he feels indebted to him but doesn’t want to admit it, it’s more than likely that he’s more focused on his own self-loathing. This incident is what defines him for a good chunk of the series, to his chagrin.

The Battle Trial is just another nail in the eventual coffin. Katsuki thinks he’s finally got Izuku right where he wants him, only for Izuku to pull a 500 IQ play and prioritize the exercise over his and Katsuki’s squabbles, taking the brunt of Katsuki’s attack and attention while giving Ochako the opportunity to capture the bomb. That look of frustration is Katsuki realizing that not only did Izuku get ahead, he got ahead with the very thing Katsuki despises. Needless to say, it f***s with him well until the aftermath outside of UA’s gate.

Shoto refusing to use his flames is another chip off the marble that is Katsuki’s pride. It reinforces the idea that Izuku is doing something that Katsuki isn’t, something that Izuku shouldn’t have in the first place, beyond a Quirk at least. So, Katsuki rages, because he can’t understand why it’s such a big deal, in both Izuku’s and Shoto’s cases.

The Final Exams just hammer the point home further. Katsuki’s one-track minded attempts to bring down All Might are met with no results. He would have failed that exam if it wasn’t for Izuku’s selflessness or Katsuki “lowering himself” to cooperate with him. Had Katsuki not gotten decked in the face and dragged off or got saved at the last minute while he was knocked out, he definitely would have failed on account of becoming a liability.

The Training Camp attack is an odd mix of Katsuki’s current philosophy and the next stage in it. He knows Izuku’s gonna go and save his ass, and he wants no part of that because hasn’t he made him suffer enough already? Hasn’t he already proved time and time again that he’s getting better, despite the fact that Katsuki doesn’t want or believe it? Despite the fact that it shouldn’t even be happening if things were right in the world? Izuku does recognize Katsuki’s wounded pride, however, which is instrumental in getting him out of All For One’s clutches during Kamino.

If we briefly direct our attention to the Make It! Do-Or-Die Survival Training! OVA, Katsuki is pretty adamant on claiming he only got the power back on in the underground mall to complete the exercise. And I don’t think that’s Katsuki’s “tsundere” talking, either: I genuinely believe that Katsuki’s only thoughts at the moment was getting the exercise done. Everyone else was just secondary. And remember, Katsuki hates dishonesty, which is probably why he doesn’t take credit for “saving” Izuku and Shoto. While his actions did save the two of them and everyone else in the mall, that wasn’t his intention, which is an interesting flip on Izuku’s performance back in the Battle Trial. Couple that with the fact that Katsuki is injured (and therefore weak, and in need of help), and it’s no wonder he’s in a sour mood towards the end of it all.

And this sour mood carries over to the final nail in his coffin: the Provisional License Exam. He only gets by the first half because other people had the sense to tag along, but the second half regards his undoing because he still doesn’t get the whole selfless aspect of saving people in the second half of the exam. This was also foreshadowed back in the aforementioned OVA with Katsuki’s excessive animosity towards the victim dummy. Whether they be real or fake, Katsuki’s disregard of either victim doesn’t grant him his hero license.

This is the straw that breaks the camel's back for Katsuki. And ultimately, this sparks the start in his shift to the second phase of his development.

III) The “I Can’t Let You Get Ahead Of Me” Phase

Time Frame: Ch. 117-~Ch. 257 [Late Provisional Hero License Exam Arc-Early Paranormal Liberation War Arc]

Since this is only the second phase of Katsuki’s development (and given that this is Katsuki we’re talking about), don’t expect to get much of an upgrade with this shift.

Essentially, it boils down to two things: Katsuki stops viewing Izuku as an annoyance, and starts viewing him as an obstacle. Simultaneously, he starts seeing the viability of saving, at least as a tool in a hero’s kit.

Let me explain.

While Deku vs Kacchan 2 is the first time Izuku and Katsuki have attempted to talk out their issues… not much gets addressed. Sure, Katsuki becomes aware of Izuku not looking down on him, but Izuku is never made aware of the deeper issues regarding Katsuki’s loathing beyond that. It primarily serves as a half-barebones narrative checkpoint, a segway for Katsuki to get in on the secret of One For All.

...let’s also talk about that, shall we?

So Izuku’s been getting better as a hero and with his Quirk. Then Katsuki finds out after he gets kidnapped and rescued that Izuku is the successor to their mutual idol. And that’s after essentially being told he can’t be a hero in his current state due to the PLE. And what is his usual response to adversity? He decides to get ahead of it.

He’ll surpass Class 1-A so there won’t be another Battle Trial. He’ll surpass Izuku and One For All so he can truly claim that he’s the best of the best.

Unfortunately, we don’t get to see more of this development until the Joint Training Arc. However, keep in mind that this is only the second stage. Katsuki wants to prove that he’s the best, so of course he’s gonna step up his game. That means taking advice from the LITERAL (former) #1 HERO, and making the victory as flawless as possible. After all, Katsuki himself said in Chapter 208:

“I’ve decided! We’re gonna win this match with a perfect victory! 4-0, with everyone unscathed! That’s the kind of victory there is for the strongest guys out there!”

...it might be a slight exaggeration when he says he’s hardly changed at the end of that chapter, but then again it is a stretch to even call it an exaggeration.

That aside, Katsuki also makes it part of his agenda to keep tabs on OFA. This would fit into the “Katsuki secretly cares” agenda, but we haven’t reached that point. Right now, in these moments, Katsuki figures that if One For All starts getting freaky, he wants to know about it so he can get a leg up. And maybe part of him still wants to call Izuku out.

He was minorly ticked when Izuku allowed himself to make a mistake during their unauthorized fight. And he constantly reminds Izuku to not forget that he’s supposed to surpass him (or the other way around).

Taking off the rose-colored glasses for a moment, it does make sense for Katsuki to say this beyond the context of positive motivation. We are talking about the same Katsuki who lashed out at Shoto for holding back. It’s reasonable to assume that he doesn’t want Izuku to do the same, and lagging behind more or less equates to holding back.

And Katsuki still isn’t completely invested in Izuku’s training for Izuku’s sake. After the Joint Training, Katsuki tries getting Izuku to manifest Black Whip again, and nopes out shortly afterwards when nothing comes of their sparring sessions in Chapter 217. This still isn’t the Katsuki we see in the 284 flashback. He’s still got a ways to go.

Yes, this even rings true for Katsuki during Heroes: Rising. While the film might be the ultimate Bakudeku dream come true, there really isn’t… much depth in regards to Izuku and Katsuki’s past. Y’know, the thing that most people are hoping gets resolved? It only gets referenced a few times in the film, but doesn’t overall factor into anything meaningful. Most of the time when Izuku and Katsuki team up, Katsuki only gets to the fight because he wants to throw hands with villains on an island where (if the status quo had remained unchanged) was likely selected because it had little to no serious villain activity. It just so happens that protecting and working with Izuku is an unintended byproduct of these fights. Katsuki even drops the infamous “lowering myself to work with Deku” line just before the big climax. And even with the transfer of OFA to Katsuki, it strikes less as overcoming a longstanding obstacle and more as plot convenience, especially since by the end of the fight OFA nopes back into Izuku so hard that Katsuki gets mind wiped about the whole thing.

Even during the Endeavor Arc, we don’t see much growth beyond the Ending fight, where Katsuki prioritizes saving Natsuo over throwing hands like he usually would, learning to take saving as more than a tool. This is significant considering it’s Katsuki, but unfortunately, there’s not much else thereafter. The entire arc won’t get referenced as an overall stepping stone until Ch. 284.

And thus, we head to the final phase.

IV) The “Why Don’t You Care About Yourself” Phase

Time Frame: ~Ch. 257-Ch. 284 [Early Paranormal Liberation War Arc-Paranormal Liberation War Arc (Present)]

So here’s an interesting tidbit: Katsuki can’t handle nonphysical confrontation.

Leave him with the fact that his kidnapping could have gotten most of the class expelled because they decided to go rescue him or avoided such while knowing of the operation? He’ll pay back Eijiro for the expensive night vision goggles and make Denki suffer Quirk overuse so he doesn’t need to be reminded.

Get stuck in the middle of a Todoroki Family Drama scene? He’ll try bragging about how he did better than the current #1 Hero to attempt curbing off the situation.

Put him in a discussion with Izuku where they address his additional Quirk manifestations and the full weight of his potential/legacy? Katsuki will brag about having a skill already in his toolkit to ignore the fact that he has the potential to fall behind.

This defines the earlier days of this phase. We don’t see what happens in the timeframe between that and the start of the War Arc until the Chapter 284 flashback. I believe that during the gap between 257 and this flashback, Katsuki allowed himself to process the full weight of what he and Izuku were told during that meeting.

And this marks one of his biggest revelations to date.

Izuku’s selflessness is no longer something annoying. It’s a potential fatal flaw.

For the first time, it’s hitting Katsuki that Izuku is no longer an obstacle, or just an obstacle. Izuku is a person who is working himself to the bone and past that, who would die at the drop of the hat if he thought the payoff was well worth it. He’s finally starting to see that what Izuku is doing to himself is dangerous, and he wants to know what he can do to prevent the serious ramifications.

This is a big phase in his development, no doubt, but um… it’s not the last phase.

If I’m being honest, we’re nowhere close. Why? Well, two reasons:

A) Katsuki still has yet to properly take a loss.

Any and all of Katsuki’s losses are either in his head or narratively negated. And his disproportionate win/loss ratio doesn’t do him any favors either. He’s culminated a philosophy that he can’t and shouldn’t lose, but losing is a crucial aspect of improvement and being human in general. In the case of the story, Chapter 275 suggests that Katsuki wants to face off against Tomura as payback for Kamino. He essentially wants to extend the narrative and treat that loss like a delayed win, as if the loss hadn’t happened yet. Many people claim that this is a bluff he used to cover his true intentions of keeping an eye on Izuku, but I don’t think that’s the case. While sticking by Izuku is a contributing factor, getting a win is equally so, because Katsuki hasn’t properly adjusted to a loss. His strategy for dealing with any kind of loss is just to bulldoze through it like nothing happened, instead of taking the time to understand why he lost and to apply that knowledge for future encounters.

Be aware of your surroundings during the Sludge Villain.

Focus on your priorities and communicate with others during the Battle Trial.

Don’t ignore the situation just to focus on your own intentions during the Training Camp attack.

HELP PEOPLE during the Provisional License Exam.

There are so many lessons Katsuki could have learned sooner if he had taken the time to properly digest his losses. But he didn’t. He still doesn’t. He might have learned some of them eventually, but the fact remains that he nearly ran head first into a suicide mission just because he couldn’t take the loss and was dead set on getting even.

And keep in mind, Katsuki was lamenting on struggling to keep up with Izuku earlier before their encounter with Tomura, and how he couldn’t afford to stay a loser, so this is likely less far-fetched than you think.

Okay, so then what’s the second reason Katsuki’s development is far from over?

B) He hasn’t fully connected the dots on what he did to Izuku.

So far, Katsuki has recognized that he was off-put by Izuku’s selflessness, and that he bullied him over that.

What he hasn’t recognized is how much of a role he played personally in that part of Izuku’s personality, or at least it’s present day incarnation.

Let me clarify a bit. Katsuki is aware that he was distrubed by Izuku’s selflessness. He is aware that bullied him and that, at some degree, was wrong. But I don’t think he’s quite connected the dots on how his intervention has led to Izuku’s current brand of martyrdom.

At the start of the series, Izuku just cares about others. After making sure he gets down to the river safely, he’s willing to lend a hand to Katsuki, who fell from a pretty concerning height ig we’re being honest.

But this unnerves Katsuki. And it leads to his physical altercations with Izuku from time to time.

Remember, Izuku followed Katsuki at the time, but somewhere down the line he stopped. But he never stopped being Izuku, so Katsuki continued to pursue him. Izuku had already been willing to give up in some degree on ever keeping up with Katsuki the way he used to. He knew, at some level, that he wasn’t accepted.

That he wasn’t worth as much as everyone else.

Katsuki bullied Izuku because he was selfless. But Katsuki’s bullying, coupled with the rest of society’s ostracization, twisted and warped that selflessness with low self-esteem, low self-worth, and self-destructive tendencies. Katsuki wasn’t the sole bully of Izuku, but he was a primary perpetrator. And his actions only made the very thing he despised so, so much worse.

...and until he can recognize THAT aspect of his relationship with Izuku, his journey is far from over.

So yeah, Katsuki’s making progress, but we’re still not out of the woods yet.

V) Final Address+Conclusion

So now for the obvious question: why did I write all of this?

I said it at the beginning, about how some people claimed that Katsuki cared all along. I brought up a bit about how it pissed me off. Why, exactly?

Because when people insist that Katsuki threatening Izuku to not go to UA comes from a place of concern, they disregard Chapter 1 Katsuki’s gigantic ego and utter disregard for others, much less so for Izuku.

Because when people insist that Katsuki’s shocked face at the end of the Battle Trial was because he was upset with how he hurt Izuku, they disregard the fact that Katsuki was willing to almost murder Izuku, and if not that then brutalize him, and that at this point Katsuki absolutely loathes getting shown up, which is what Izuku inadvertently did.

Because when people insist that Katsuki always cared from the very beginning, they (un)intentionally undermine one of the few things that draw people to Katsuki’s character: his character development.

On his own, Katsuki is an prodigious, antisocial and angry teen looking for fame and fortune in the industry who grows into a dedicated source of confidence and understanding as he finally allows himself to branch beyond his initial handicaps. If you insist that Katsuki always had the awareness and concern he displayed in 284’s flashback, what do you get instead?

A selfish, self-centered, fickle, emotionally-constipated asshole whose growth is more comparable to a ramp instead of a mountain.

...not as impressive, is it?

While I’m pretty sure this is just a minor trend, that doesn’t excuse the lack of care it demonstrates. If you aren’t willing to admit and live with the fact that Day 1 Katsuki is the worst of the worst and that he did progressively get better through trials and tribulation, why bother? When you insist a character like Katsuki was fine from the start, you take away part of what makes that character so endearing. If they were never an ass to begin with, then what the hell was their problem at the start, or even now? Why the hell would we condone that? It’s important to recognize character flaws and to give them their due, because seeing a character grown out of them is far more self-fulfilling and relatable than insisting that they were always in the right place from the start.

...but then again, that’s just me. Thanks for reading.

-Crimson Lion (20 September 2020)

[kaypeace21]

Hey Kay! I was wondering... I'm thinking of writing a Byler fic. Is there anything that's missing from the current fic library that you think would be good to see, in terms of tropes, characterisation, things to explore, etc? I would also appreciate hearing from your followers. Just any ideas that people would like to see in a fic.

yeah sure ...

1)We need more povs from Mike’s perspective. (Almost all are from Will’s pov - let’s mix it up sometimes)

Mike in canon is the pinning-gay -(overly romantic) whipped one , but we never see it. And he’s pretty much never written this way! Mike in s3 has 6 drawings from Will on his wall  (he kept them up since s1-for years- despite replacing the poster on the same wall). Has even caressed extra drawings of Will’s that he’s kept in his binder.  In s1 wrote a whole story for Will about defeating a monster and giving the king it’s  7 heads (cause Will rolled a 7 when the demogorgan attacked him.) And as a Star Wars fan he had his own character be given a medal by the king (like how leia gave the medal to Han for his heroism.) He attacked people for insulting Will. Literally hates apologizing -but is quick to do so for Will . Boy ran in the pouring rain twice for Will- disobeying cops, the government, and his parents to do so. He initiates every byler moment (arm thing, hand touch, ‘best thing i’ve ever done’, ‘crazy together, right?’, always asking Will “what’s wrong?” or “are you ok?” etc). And was upset at Will dancing with a girl + insecure about Will replacing him -after he moves away.

-but 90% of byler fanfics (don’t get me wrong some are good) are from Will’s pinning perspective. Also do people realize Mike is clearly the more romantic/ emotional open of the 2 while Will is clearly the more emotionally closed off/aloof one?  He loves Mike too- but he’s def less obvious about his feelings- based on how he behaves. Will rarely opens up to people (Mike being an exception). But, it’s never written that way (usually it’s the opposite).  

2) as a gay women all the reductive stereotypes annoy me. it’s obvious when fic writers try to have the gay romance be modeled after het romance- and try to make one into the ‘girl’/ ‘guy’. Duffers don’t stereotype  Mike or Will but a lot of fanfiction writers do in order to make the gay romance resemble a straight one more (canon character traits, be dammed). Please, stop pushing heterosexual dynamics on gay and lesbian couples and trying to make one “the girl” and “the guy”. It’s very offensive and innaccurate.

Because he’s taller and most people head canon him as bi they make Mike a jock (despite in canon having horrible aim and not being able to run as fast as the rest of the gang). And Will (since most see him as gay) is weak/ sucks at sports compared to mike...despite knowing how to use a bat, shoot a gun, and being able to tear castle byers apart with his bare hands . Also nothing in canon shows Will likes to wear makeup and dress in drag (but it’s a constant thing that i’ve heard come up or heard others mention). It would be fine if he wanted to express himself in such a way. And if it only came up in an occasional fic it wouldn’t be a big deal. But it’s such a common theme that comes up (despite no canon evidence) that in most cases it just screams ‘straight writers trying to make Will into “the girl”’.  Not to mention the huge emphasis of their height difference (shows this too). It can get annoying calling him “short” & “petite” (a term used for women) when will isn’t even the shortest guy member- and now his actor is way taller than gaten (dustin) a bit taller (I think?) than caleb (Lucas) and barely shorter than finn (Mike’s actor). But writers even in future fics write him as short...ok? ya’ll really can’t let go of making Will “the girl.” Cause ya’ll incorrectly equate shortness to femminity. It’s tiring. Some writers straight up say he’s “pretty “, “feminine” or “looks like a girl” 🙄

3) it’s not byler if it’s unrequited- stop tagging it as such

4) more emphasis on Will’s passions(art, writing, horror movies). Maybe in his upbringing with Lonnie.And jon being a good bro to him. Will’s Mental health issues maybe ?

5) mike is a socially awkward, clumsy, unathletic, (caring) science/sci-fi /D&D loving nerd. In au whatever- but mike is not a bro-y jock, or a cool bad boy. 😂 plus , more writer mike would be nice to see

6) headcanon him all you want -but at this point it’s pretty obvious (to me at least) Mike never loved el,and was just lying/confused/ projecting Will on her. And El is/was also confused and never loved mike.   so it would be nicer to see that instead of Mike just ‘falling out of love’ with her. Mike is gay. people say in s3 Will saying “a day free of girls” is gay coded but everyone ignores Mike in s3 saying “BOYS ONLY”. same energy. writers even threw in a telemarketing joke so Mike says in s3 “El? no. sorry not interested.” And Mike has more rainbow refs than Will.  Boy is clearly gay not bi (way too much evidence to talk about here) .  They even  compare mileven to ted/karen who “never loved each other.”   The  writers make fun of mileven constantly and say over and over it’s not actually romantic - (if you choose to read just 1 link read this one  and get with the program) . plus, most Bi dudes  wouldn’t stop being attracted to a girl the more fem she gets (and only be attracted to her when she looks like a “guy”(specifically their guy friend).which yes the characters in s1 said over and over again that El looked like a “boy”/“will”.  And then they have him Makeout with her while putting up a  drawing of said male bff on the wall (cause now she looks less like him) and so he needs to look at said bro, to stomach the makeout seshes/ and in an effort to transfer said romantic feelings from guy friend to gf. Then push his gf’s hands off himself during the kisses- sing to stop kissing, and  kiss to mostly show off how straight he is. And without said pic- not kiss back and just keep his eyes open and not reciprocate. Nor would they have Mike equate het romance to something he thinks he has to do as a part of growing up . Bi dudes consider falling for a girl as simply romance not a foreign idea that has to be done cause there’s no other option and that’s ‘just what old people do’. Mike claims el is the only girl he’s ever had feelings for - but like dustin said mileven is “bullshit “ (stancy parallel -where nancy was not in love but faking it). So mike’s never been into a girl and is also into Will... so...

7) it’s the 80s they can’t just be open/ have pda in public (you could have gotten k*lled or beaten severely.) And most of their friends/fam would not take it well initially. (I think jon, Karen , and steve/robin would take it well... but not most of the crew.) although they’d all prob come around eventually . -Takes me out of a fic to have such historical revisionism when everyone is just totally fine with byler and they’re out to the public/strangers.

but that’s just me. What about you guys?

[thegrandkinghimself]

who is oikawa tooru?

i guess that’s a weird way to start off a post, considering just how popular oikawa is in this fandom. i’m absolutely certain that he’s still one of the most popular characters if i can take the #oikawasear trend on twitter a couple of weeks ago seriously. (i will be mourning that iwaoi is no longer the top ship in this fandom. it’s devastating to me on a personal level). and i can’t say that i’m any different, either, otherwise i wouldn’t have made this blog or this post. but i guess the reason i’ve been itching to write this is because i’ve been in this fandom--and more specifically, a fan of oikawa--for about four or five years now. i devour the content available, and i can assure you that i’ve read too many of the fanfictions on ao3 to be healthy, and never before have i seen a character whose characterization is so hotly disputed. 

and i get it. he’s a complex person. he’s kind of awkward in that there is a very clear disconnect between his outward personality and who he is alone. it’s a very hard balance to strike, especially when you consider just how much conjecture goes on in his characterization among fans and in discourse. he’s really easy to project and certain traits, correct or otherwise, are amplified based off how authors perceive him. there’s plenty of presumptions that can be made based on his on-screen actions/thoughts/beliefs that can be taken to some very logical conclusions. 

but i’ve also seen people write him in ways that don’t strike me as particularly truthful. he’s type casted into stereotypes that don’t do him justice, or made into something that is vaguely like oikawa, but not quite. in the following post, i’ll be trying to dispel misunderstandings of his character, if only for my own sanity. 

tl;dr i think that oikawa is chronically one of the most misrepresented characters in fandom and i want to fix that

exclaimer: i am solely an anime-watcher; i have seen snippets of the manga and therefore have a general idea of what is going on.

let’s establish some very very basic stuff. just to keep it simple, i’m not going to talk about anything beyond what has been published via the anime (as of season four). 

Oikawa Tooru | 及川徹 

gender: male

d.o.b.: 1994.7.20. or 20 July, 1994

height: 184.3 cm

weight: 72.2 kg

occupation: high school 3rd year, class 6

position/number: setter, 1 (captain)

here’s something that’s never pointed out: oikawa is in class 6 which, if we go off the trend of every other school in haikyuu!!, means that he is in a college preparatory class aka he’s pretty dang smart. it’s not confirmed or anything, but it a. follows the trend of every other class 6 student and b. is the highest class available among seijoh 3rd years (classes 5, 3, and 1). don’t get the idea that he’s dumb or unintelligent, or even that his strengths only lie in the classroom because that would be a gross understatement of his skills.

anywho. 

generally speaking, i like to start with the building blocks of his personality because there’s so much room for assumptions. here are the things that i think make up his core personality:

intelligence/knowledgeable: not only academically speaking, but he’s also well-versed in people. he knows how to play them--what will make someone more confident, more doubtful, what will help his teammates succeed. clearly, oikawa is very knowledgeable in human thought patterns. or he’s dedicated a lot of time to knowing them. 

loyalty: of all of oikawa’s traits, i think this one gets talked about the least, but we know it to be true. we make jokes about “you should have come to shiratorizawa” but it really shows you exactly how loyal, how much trust, oikawa has in this team that he has spent three years shaping. he never stops believing in the work that he has put in, and especially the hard work that his teammates have put into their volleyball. 

hardworking: one of the most well-known things about oikawa. most fans already know that his white knee pad is actually a knee brace. ‘nuff said. i salute you, good sir. 

insecurity: oikawa’s insecurities are perhaps his most notable trait. in a sense, he’s sort of the underdog--so good, but never quite good enough to accomplish what he’s set out to do. and we know that he’s struggled with his doubts since junior high, literally since he was 12 or 13, and that’s informed all of his character from the moment he ran into ushijima. oikawa is someone who is defined by his insecurities. 

oikawa is a lot of things. he’s introduced as someone who is very flamboyant--he’s built up by kageyama as the best setter, his senpai literally and figuratively, his initial shots are all of smug smiles and easy, unfaltering swagger in the face of this new team. even his theme, all rambunctious brass and jazzy, is meant to be all in your face, here’s the big boss! he’s someone who is petty and silly and seems to favor shallow conversation. but he’s oikawa, so there’s a surprising amount of depth in the little time that we have with him. there’s a reason that, in any other franchise, he’d probably be the protagonist.

he is someone full of contradictions. he’s childish and he spends time with a bunch of girls and is very clearly someone who likes to project a certain image of himself to the public (see: his cute lil’ humming run after his yell in s4e23 to make him seem kind of normal). but he’s also spent a lot of time with himself. in fact, if we take the few scenes we have of him alone and his bedroom (bare, spartan, meticulous) into account, oikawa actually is much more solemn and/or serious than the image he projects. he’s comfortable in the silences between all the white noise. he’s alright just being with iwaizumi. he allows himself to dwell on the past and his shortcomings, while also looking forward to the future. his ambition and passion to improve drive him, but his past failures weigh him down. they haunt him.

personally, i think that he’s naturally a pretty silly guy when given the chance. it’s not just for show. iwaizumi would even corroborate this à la oikawa’s introduction speech in s1. he likes having fun when he can with his friends. if we assume that oikawa is most himself with iwaizumi, then we definitely know that’s the case (see: “are you my mom, iwa-chan?”), and there’s nothing wrong with that. but i think that the most basic traits of his character, combined with his experiences in volleyball, have pushed him to be this person who is mired in doubt. it’s forced him to go down a path where something that he once loved for the fun of it has now become the source of his ire. it’s really just that simple. maybe in another life, things would be different and oikawa wouldn’t have to struggle as much. but that’s really just a part of the human experience, isn’t it? and, in all honesty, would we really love oikawa as much without all his vices?

and maybe this is getting into speculation, but i don’t think it’s a difficult argument to make that oikawa is really mature. he’s introspective. i say introspective because the revelations that he’s had in regards to his own strengths and weaknesses--those are things he’s had to confront and deal with since he was in junior high (starts at 12 years of age). it takes someone with a lot of maturity and self-awareness to realize those kinds of things about himself.

and he’s stronger than he gets credit for. most people depict him as a crybaby, but he’s really not. he doesn’t cry or give up in the face of ushijima or kageyama’s unfettered growth and successes, he doesn’t cry when faced with defeat. oikawa is there to support iwaizumi in his own doubt as ace, and lend support to his teammates. and oikawa doesn’t get stuck on the what-ifs or has-beens. driven by his infamous ambition, he looks forward to the future. 

it’s kind of a double-edged sword. it’s pushed him this far--he’s put in this much effort to be one of the best in the prefecture--because of his competitive spirit, but it’s also something that has caused him serious injury. oikawa’s motto (”if you’re gonna to hit it, hit it until it breaks!”) is the very epitome of this mentality. it’s a message to work hard to finish what you started, but i also think that you could interpret that hard work breaking you, too. he’s steadfast—obsessive, really—to the point that oikawa will let his passions break him before he would ever give up. it’s the point of all the strife in his life, because he would never have the problems he does if he were even a little less enamored by this sport. 

and you really have to wonder where he would be without ushijima and kageyama as his obstacles. his drive will always be there, that is an intrinsic part of him, as are the standards to which he holds himself, but you really have to wonder just how good oikawa would be if he didn’t have such direct competitors. this is an incredibly important question to ask about kageyama and oikawa in particular. yes, oikawa does loathe ushijima: for his disregard for oikawa’s decisions, for his disregard of oikawa’s loyalty, for his flippant attitude of seijoh, who oikawa has poured his blood and sweat into creating. but ushijima is an opposite hitter. oikawa is a setter. those are two very different positions with little crossover. but with kageyama--that is a clear rivalry. they push each other to be better, made all the more potent by their differences as players; one setter’s growth as a player directly impacts how the other performs in each subsequent game. seijoh’s defeat by karasuno in season 2 just feeds into oikawa’s drive for the future. he has not intention of giving up. a light was lit under him, pushing him forward, to do better, to be better. 

this is something that has been pointed out in a different analysis (linked below) but, narratively speaking, oikawa is kageyama’s foil. their interactions inform their characters and are a major cause of tension in their development. their relationship is really the most complex in the story that i have noticed, and is something that has not been appreciated enough. the iwaizumi-oikawa thing has been expounded and studied in every facet possible (i love the alexander the great/hephaestion allusions), but it’s true that kageyama has impacted oikawa the most. they begrudgingly respect each other’s talents, what it is that they bring to the court, while also envying what the other has in spades that they do not. in oikawa’s case, his strength clearly lies in his interpersonal relationships--his ability to intuit exactly what his teammates need to be at their best. kags is just a fount of overwhelming technical skill who has a really hard time getting to know those around him. living up to the standards that oikawa places on himself, in tandem with kageyama threatening his position as setter, leave oikawa floundering, fearing his own incompetence against opponents who are naturally much better than he. so he’s left with the knowledge that maybe his best isn’t good enough, but he still continues on anyway. he pushes himself past a seemingly unreachable threshold just to go toe-to-toe with this monster. it’s the purpose of his character--to tell this story of the ordinary v. the extraordinary--and it is perhaps the most relatable arc that a story like haikyuu!! can tell.

their connection naturally causes oikawa to seek out help, seen in the flashback scenes where he is talking to an unspecified coach/adult. that coach’s words then become the creed upon which oikawa plays, maybe even more than what iwaizumi has taught him, and is the final push that completes oikawa’s character arc in s2ep24. that change in mindset allows oikawa to see kageyama’s unbridled talent not as an obstacle but as a challenge. it’s very nuanced, but it makes all the difference. it’s why, following seijoh’s defeat, oikawa has the audacity to declare to kageyama and ushijima his plans for the future. in a sense, karasuno and kageyama and ushijima have won the battle but not the war. it’s the tipping point in his story and, more than anything, what makes oikawa so compelling. we have seen what has led up to the change, but now we want to know what he’s going to do to meet that challenge. what will he be doing beyond the story when he is no longer relevant to the narrative? we don’t know the details at this point, but we know that oikawa’s love and ambition for volleyball have been reaffirmed in this moment. 

but to bring it back, the kags-oiks connection also makes us question what it is we are watching, makes us as the audience think: what qualifies someone as a genius? are there any limitations to what that genius can do? what can ordinary people do in the face of those geniuses? 

these are questions that exist beyond the reality of sports and transverse into other disciplines. for me, those are very real questions that i have had to ask myself as a musician. i have dedicated nine, almost 10, years to my practice but there are still 10-year-olds who are just better at it than i ever will be. part of it is time and practice to be sure, but some of it is just innate. and i think the more appropriate version of those questions would be this: what qualifies someone as a prodigy? are there limitations for prodigies? what can we do in the face of prodigies? 

oikawa is a genius player--he knows the ins-and-outs of his sport better than anyone, and he can accomplish great feats that others in his same position can’t. but even with all that veritable experience and skill, he is ultimately still overtaken by a prodigy whose talents seem endless. it’s why he can hate ushijima but fear kageyama. one is something he can actively fight against, the other is inevitable. 

and really, i think that’s the beauty of oikawa tooru, why he’s so beloved by the fandom, even years after he has stopped being relevant to the narrative. beyond the fluff and goofiness and hijinks, there’s someone there who is really, truly, human. 

an aside with much less significance/why do people think this??

so here’s one thing: even though oikawa has fangirls, i wonder what he actually thinks of them. for one, it’s only natural for anyone to be super flattered if people think you’re hot stuff. that’s just... i don’t think he’s weird if he pays attention to them. but i think that people are conflating his being kind to them to being genuinely egotistical due to the attention. actually, i think these are opposing ideas and a contradiction of who oikawa is. when you’re an arrogant person, you think that you deserve all the attention you’re getting and you’re not going to bother with the people who worship you.

but that’s not at all what oikawa does. he’s rather kind to his fans. i would never say that he’s self-effacing, but knowing what you’re worth is different from being pompous. and think about it. it’d be a real jerk move for oikawa to not say nice things to them and thank his fangirls when they spend time, energy, and effort to make him food and see his games. he would just be a genuinely awful person if he didn’t at least give them thanks. it’d be more alarming if he didn’t talk to them, at least in my opinion. more than anything, we should consider this: why is it that oikawa has the fan club and not anyone else on the seijoh team? i’m sure a part of it is because he’s attractive and the captain of a team, but i think it’s more than that, too. we see these interactions from other perspectives, but i think that reflects more on those around oikawa than oikawa himself if they don’t understand why he acts the way he does with those girls.

another thing: i don’t think that anyone can question that oikawa is very pretty, or handsome, or whatever descriptor you would like. it’s prevalent in fandom (see: pretty setters squad), but he is also the only person in canon to be acknowledged by other characters as being particularly good-looking. maybe the miyas count at this point? i’m not sure. but i don’t really understand where people get the idea that he is particularly focused on his appearance, though. there is literally no indication of that from the material that i have seen. and maybe he uses that to his advantage with his fangirls, but i highly doubt that, in all honesty. i think that it’s fun to imagine him being into these things as a hobby, but it irks me greatly when i see that people spend time saying that oikawa wakes up extra early just to fix his hair or slather on foundation/concealer just to look presentable. 

he’s a teenaged boy who clearly has other things that worry him, he’s a full-time student, and volunteers to coach at lil tykes volleyball classroom in his free time. he wouldn’t have time to spend on his hair or makeup. and we even seen in the hanger tooru special that he even wakes up looking like that. 

he is au naturale, my friends. and we even know how little he gives thought to his own body, if you take into account his knee brace. for oikawa, his body is merely the medium through which he can accomplish his goals. we even have evidence of this when we see oikawa up all night studying karasuno game play or via his knee brace. he doesn’t know how to stop or understand when enough is enough. he breaks himself if there’s no one to watch him. 

also, just... how would makeup work, logistically speaking? i don’t wear makeup, but i’m thinking that foundation and concealer and hair product would be, um, really bad. like, it’d run down his face and stuff. also, it’d probably get into his eyes, too? seriously. i’m not against oikawa wearing makeup in the slightest cause he’d be even prettier, but we know that oikawa would absolutely not jeopardize his chances in any way. 

thank you for reading this long-winded, probably awful look into my favorite character of all time. and i do mean that. he is my favorite character in all of media. which, like, says a lot when he’s competing against the casts of a:tla, call me by your name, and my actual favorite book, the song of achilles. after all of that, if you would like another (better) analysis of oikawa’s character, i suggest this reddit thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/haikyuu/comments/94irsi/character_analysis_16_oikawa_tooru_discussion/ 

[abouldersbxtch]

Fight Me

A little over a week had passed since Karina got settled into her dorm and had started to live with the rest of her class. Things were going well, classes were great, and she had been making plenty of friends both within her class and from other classes as well. However, it remained that only Mina, Momo, and Jiro knew her secret and she was grateful that they had kept their promise to keep her secret. Another day of classes had gone by and Karina had locked herself away in her room so that she could focus on her homework. They weren’t too far ahead from where she had been in her homeschooling, but with so many different classes being thrown at her with different projects and assignments, she was struggling to keep up. Regardless, she did her best and studied as often as she could and some of her classmates were very willing when she asked for help. She was just about done with a math assignment when she looked out the window in front of her desk and she spotted Bakugo, Kirishima, and Sero all walking away from the dorm building. By now she was aware that they were going to train. They usually trained before classes or after them and this morning they hadn't gone. Curiosity getting the better of her, she stood up from her seat, walked over to the door that lead to her own personal balcony that everyone had attached to their rooms, and shifted into a crow. After maneuvering herself out of the clothes she had been wearing, she took off into the sky. As she flew after them, she made sure to be careful and to keep some distance between herself and the boys. She stuck to the shadows and followed them to the gym. As they walked in, she knew she wouldn't be able to get through the door quick enough before it closed and also avoid them noticing her. She perched herself on the ground nearby and waited a few moments and then shifted into a small mouse before squeezing herself under the door and into the gym. She scurried to a safe spot and watched them start to train, taking mental notes as she watched them. She was honestly impressed with how strong they all were and how far they had come since the first time she saw them on TV at the Sports Festival and it inspired her to want to better herself and her quirk even more than she already did.

The sneaking around continued for a few more days where she would secretly watch the boys train and take mental notes about how they fought, until she decided it was time for her to train with them. It was another night where the boys went to train and Bakugo, Kirishima, Denki, and Sero were already in the gym. Karina threw on a grey sports bra, a hoodie, and some black workout pants that hugged her body. After getting dressed, she threw her long crimson hair up into a high ponytail and walked out of her room. She left the elevator once she reached the main floor and as she was walking through the living area, Mina and Tsu looked over at her and Mina waved at her to get her attention. "And just where are you off to young lady?" Karina stopped near the door and looked over at her with a smile on her face. "Oh, I'm just going to go train with the boys." Tsu and Mina looked at each other in slight concern before looking back at their clearly delusional friend. "Bakugo doesn't really like people interrupting them, and you know how rude he can be." Tsu tried to warn her, but Karina just smirked. "Don't worry about me. I can handle Katsuki. I'll be back later." She smiled at them reassuringly and gave a small wave as she walked out of the dorms, leaving Mina and Tsu. She knew they would probably worry about her, but she couldn't worry about that. She was going to train with them and if she had to finally stand her ground with Bakugo to make it happen, then that's exactly what she was going to do. Her determination to better herself and her quirk were what drove her to keep walking towards the gym and what also shooed away any nervousness she may have had. As she approached the door, she took a deep breath and then pushed it open. The boys didn't notice her at first which gave her time to remove her hoodie and toss it to the side. She was only noticed as she started walking towards them and Denki was the one to notice her. "Karina! What are you doing here?" He ran over to her which caused the other three to stop what they were doing except for Bakugo who sent one last blast towards Kirishima whose skin was hardened. However, because he was distracted by Karina walking in, he was knocked onto his back on the ground. Denki gave her a fist bump and she grinned at him. "I figured I'd come and train with you guys, if that's okay." "Awesome! Tha-" Bakugo cut Denki off as he walked over towards them. "No. You'll just get in the way. Go train with the other extras." Kirishima was quick to get to his feet and he was right behind Bakugo, frowning at his best friends words. "Oh come on Bakugo." Karina walked up closer to Bakugo, narrowing her eyes at him. "First off, those 'extras' are your classmates so show them the respect they deserve. Second off, I can train with whoever I want, wherever I want. If anyone here is willing to help train with me, then I'll take the help. If I want to better myself, you don't get to hinder that. Am I clear?" Bakugo glared at her, stepping towards her to show, what she assumed was, him not backing down either. "I don't care who you train with, but I'm not going to have you hindering my training either extra." "Call me an extra again and see what happens." Karina stepped even closer, their faces mere inches away from each other as they glared at each other, her golden eyes glaring daggers into his red eyes. The rest of the guys were staring in shock that Karina was standing up to Bakugo. Bakugo smirked as he looked down at her, only standing an inch taller than her. "Extra." His tone was meant to taunt her and so was the cocky smirk on his face because he must have thought that she wasn't actually going to do anything, but he was very wrong on that assumption.

Without hesitation, Karina dropped down low and swiped her right leg out and against Bakugo's legs, knocking them out from under him and sending him to the ground. She stood up straight and looked down at him with a smirk of her own on her face and her hands resting on her hips. Bakugo was fuming as he stood up, but Kirishima and Sero were quick to try and hold him back while Denki tried to pull Karina away from the situation. However, Karina pulled away from Denki and looked at the boys holding Bakugo back. "Let him go." Kirishima shook his head. "That's not a good idea. Karina please, you shou-" Karina held her index finger up to him to get him to stop talking momentarily. "Eijiro, let him go. I can handle him." Reluctantly, Kiri and Sero released Bakugo and he was right up in her face again. "What the hell are you playing at?" Karina didn't back down as she looked up at him. "Fight me." Bakugo raised his brows, clearly thrown off by her words. "I'll blast you to hell." Karina laughed and shook her head. "No. I mean fight me. No quirks, just hand to hand combat." It was Bakugo's turn to laugh as he crossed his arms across his chest. "Why wouldn't I use my quirk?" She rolled her eyes and let her hands leave her hips and hang at her sides. "Because you can't always rely on your quirk. Every quirk has limits, and what if you come across a villain with a quirk like Aizawa's? You've got to be strong enough to fight without your quirk. So show me what you've got and fight me." Bakugo grinned widely and cracked his knuckles on each hand. "Alright, you're on." "Is this really a good idea?" Denki asked, a look of concern on his face. Karina nodded her head without taking her eyes off of Bakugo. "It's a great idea." Sero, Denki, and Kirishima all walked away and stood off to the side to watch the fight, just in case they felt like they needed to step in. Mina, Tsu, and Jiro who had been spying from the door were standing near the guys to support Karina. "Kick his ass Karina!" Mina shouted in encouragement. Karina rolled her neck as she stood across from Bakugo who was stretching. Once they were both ready, they stepped closer to each other until they were just a couple of feet away from each other. "You can still back down, you know." Bakugo spoke, using that same taunting tone that he had used before. Karina smirked back at him. "Cute. I was about to say the same thing to you." He scoffed at her before calling out to Kirishima. "Count it down Kiri!" Kirishima gulped and reluctantly counted down from five. "5.... 4.... 3.... 2..... 1!"

As soon as Kirishima said one, Bakugo was lunging at Karina. She had watched him train enough to know what was coming. She grabbed his outstretched arm that she knew he was going to swing at her first and she swung him around and let him go, sending him stumbling backwards. With a smirk on her face, she made a 'come at me' motion with her hands. Bakugo growled and ran at her again. This time, Karina blocked a few of his punches, but he finally managed to land a punch to her face. She stumbled slightly and everyone that was watching either gasped, winced, or made some kind of concerned sound. Kirishima and Mina both took a step forward, but Jiro held her arms out and kept them back. “You need to let them do this.” Bakugo stopped momentarily, wondering if that was all it was going to take, but Karina proved otherwise. She was quick to retaliate and her punch collided with his gut. She had hit him hard enough to make him hunch over and as he did, she grabbed the back of his head and thrust her knee upward to try and collide it with his face, but he grabbed her leg instead and used it to pull her legs out from under her and he slammed her down on the ground. To make sure she hit the ground hard enough, he went down with her and pinned her shoulders to the ground with his hands. The back of her head smacked the floor, but she ignored the pain and focused on him. She glared up at him and was quick to wrap her legs around his waist and throw her weight to the side, rolling them over so she was straddled on top of him. Before she could try and attack him, Bakugo punched her in the gut and took her momentary stun to throw her off of him. She rolled across the floor, but she managed to get to her feet while Bakugo did the same. She had the taste of copper in her mouth from the blood that came from his punch to her face, but she ignored it for the time being. She ran at him and he braced himself for her. She pulled her hand back, making it seem as if she was going to punch him, so he got ready to block her punches, but instead she went straight for his gut. She threw herself into him, thrusting her shoulder into his gut and knock the wind out of him. It worked for a moment, but then he hunched over her and wrapped his arms around her waist and with his grip on her, he tossed her to the side, but thankfully, she was able to land on her feet. He ran at her and threw a punch aimed at her face, but she caught his fist and then yanked him close, slamming her head into his. He stumbled back and she released him so that she could run at him, but she didn't expect him to recuperate as fast as he did. She had thrown a punch, but he grabbed her wrist and twisted it and turned her around, pinning her arm behind her back while his other arm went around her neck tightly. She started to struggle to breath and ended up tapping his arm with her free hand.

Bakugo released her when he felt her tap his arm and she collapsed to the floor, coughing and gasping for air. Everyone who had been watching started to rush over and Bakugo extended his hand out to Karina. She looked up at him and smiled slightly as she took his hand and pulled herself up. "Not bad, Red." Karina was thrown off guard slightly when he called her something other than ‘extra’, but it made her smile as she looked up at him. "You did pretty well yourself." She reached up and gently wiped away some blood that was coming from his nose from when she had head-butted him with her thumb and then wiped it on her pants. Bakugo wasn't expecting such a gentle action like that and it was clear from the look on his face, but that look was quickly replaced by a stoic one as everyone reached them. "That was so bad-ass! Where did you learn to fight like that?!" Mina exclaimed as she ran over to Karina. Everyone crowded them, complementing their fighting and showing their general shock and excitement for what had happened. It was pretty much decided by everyone that training was over for the night, so everyone started heading out of the gym and back towards the dorms. Karina grabbed her hoodie and as she walked outside, she smiled as she saw Sero waiting for her by the door. "You didn't have to wait for me." Sero smiled and shook his head as he walked beside her. "I don't mind. Besides, I just wanted to say that that was really cool. I've never really seen someone stand up to Bakugo like that before, aside from Midoriya. You're a really good fighter." Karina blushed lightly as she held her hoodie to her chest. "Thanks. That really means a lot to me." They walked to the dorms together until they parted ways to go to their separate rooms. However, as she was waiting for the elevator, she heard someone call her name. “Karina! Wait up!” She turned and saw Kirishima hurrying over to her with an icepack in his hand. “Here. I saw the way your head hit the floor during your fight and that’s definitely going to hurt, so I figured I’d bring you this. Hopefully it helps.” Karina smiled with a subtle blush as she took the icepack from him after he held it out to her. “Thanks Eijiro. That’s very sweet of you. I appreciate it.” “Anytime. I’ll see you in the morning.” Kiri gave her a toothy grin and then walked off. As Karina got on the elevator, she couldn’t help but smile and hold the icepack against the back of her head where it had hit the ground. Once Karina was in her room, she relaxed a bit and kept the icepack against her head for a little while. Before it got too late, she got undressed, threw on a bathrobe, and went to go take a shower in the common area bathrooms. As she was making her way to the bathrooms from the elevator, she spotted Bakugo walking towards the elevator. "Katsuki?" He looked over at her at the sound of his name and his entire face went red and he quickly looked away. "Why the hell aren't you wearing clothes?!" Karina looked down at herself and then back at him, rolling her eyes. "I'm wearing a robe! You can't see anything! Besides, this is the girls side of the building! What are you doing over here anyway? I figured you would have gone to bed by now." Bakugo sighed heavily and glanced over at her. "I was looking for you. I just wanted to say that... It maybe wouldn't be so bad if you trained with us." A look of shock came to Karina's face and then she smiled, walking a bit closer to him. "I'd like that, Katsuki. Thank you." Bakugo turned and started to walk away. "Yeah, yeah. Night." Karina giggled lightly as she watched him walk away. "Good night." She turned and walked the rest of the way to the bathrooms with a small smile on her face.

[anetherealsoul]

Between the Lines: A Volley Blog

SEA Games 2019: Philippines VS Vietnam Volleyball Women's Opener

A Sports Blog

December 3, 2019, the PhilSports Arena in Pasig City was filled with excitement and supporters cheering for their favorite teams. The competition began with the introduction of the officials and the players together with their positions. Before entering the court, the team members show their support by giving the players high fives, this can also be interpreted as saying “good luck”. The court measures 18 meters long and 9 meters wide, net height at 2.24 meters for women.

As soon as the game started, the Philippine team got the first score for the match. We can notice that after winning a point, the players huddle and congratulate each other to keep the momentum and keep the players’ spirits up as volleyball is just as much as a physical game as it is a mental one. Vietnam held off a comeback by the Philippines in five sets, 21-25, 25-23, 25-19, 20-25, 15-8. With every score comes a hand signal by the referee to clearly indicate wo gained the point. Alyssa Valdez being an absolute team player, played all throughout the five sets without rest. Meanwhile in Team Vietnam, Thi Thanh Thuy Tran, never failed to give us a strong serve and spike.

Vietnam continued to keep their scores close and almost equal with the Philippines. Keeping up with their steady plays to keep the Philippines at bay to take a 2-1 set edge. Not to be outdone, the national team would fight back in front of their screaming hometown fans to force a deciding set. Alyssa Valdez carried the scoring load for the Philippines in the fifth set, but it just wasn’t enough as Vietnam just came more prepared to snatch this event’s win.

In-Depth Details:

Court Dimension

The indoor volleyball court measures 18 meters long and 9 meters wide, net height at 2.24 meters for women. It is surrounded by a free zone. The free zone refers to the playable area outside of the boundary lines – both sidelines and end lines – of the court. For FIVB official competitions, the free zone must be a minimum of 5 meters and a maximum of 6 meters from the side of the court and the end lines (Sports Feel Good Stories, n.d.).

Equipment

Volley Ball- For indoor volleyball, it should have a circumference between 65 and 67 cm when fully inflated to an inner pressure between 4.3 and 4.6 lbs. Once inflated, the ball must weigh between 260 and 280 g. During FIVB competitions and world events, three balls are used and must meet the same standards as the other balls before being approved for play (Haas, 2018).

The Net- The standard measurement is 2.24 meters. The net extends to each of the sidelines on the court and should be the same height at both sidelines. The net itself is 1 meter wide (Haas, 2018).

The Antenna- Placed at either end of the net, it measures 10 mm in diameter and extends 1.8 meters above the net. These antennae are considered part of the net and are used to delineate the vertical crossing space (Haas, 2018).

The Poles- Volleyball poles should be set at 36 feet apart, 3 feet further out from the sidelines (Wood, 2008).

Team Uniform- The uniform should be lightweight to allow maximum flexibility and breath-ability. It should be made of a material that absorbs sweat and keeps skin dry. Spandex shorts are a good option, since they are flexible, and absorb odor (Crowe, 2019).

Volleyball Shoes- Arch and ankle support is key when choosing a volleyball shoe. The ideal shoes for players are lightweight, allowing you to be faster on your feet, as well as bearing good shock absorption on your toes (Crowe, 2019).

Knee Pads- Knee pads should be sturdy enough to protect your knees from falls, slides and dives, but flexible enough to allow you to bend comfortably. Your volleyball knee pads must be made of fabric that breathes and manages moisture (Crowe, 2019).

Additional:

Tape on their Fingers- offers more strength when playing. Hitting the ball can be intense on the fingers and without the tape, players are more exposed to injuries.

Basic Skills

Blocking- Used to stop the ball from crossing the net as a result of an opponent's attack.  A block is effective if it immediately places the ball back into the opponent's court. The fundamental action of blocking is to stand facing the net with feet shoulder width apart, arms nearly extended above the head, ready to jump above the net to deflect the ball back into the opponent's court (Flo, n.d.).

Digging- The first contact made after an attacker from the other team sends the ball over to the defensive team is said to be a “dig”. Digs can be made with the forearms, open or closed hands or any other part of the body (Volleyball Terms and Definitions, n.d.).

Forearm Pass- This is used when you want to receive the ball from your opponents, as in service, or as a technique to accurately control the ball in a way that eliminates lifting or carrying the ball (Flo, n.d.).  

Passing- The first contact after a serve is considered a “pass”. The player who passes the ball is called the “passer”. Usually a pass is made with a player’s forearms but can also be made overhead with two open hands (Volleyball Terms and Definitions, n.d.).

Serving- The first contact that starts every rally is called a “serve”. Usually a server uses one, open hand to swing overhead and send the ball over the net from behind the end line. Less experienced players may serve underhand with one closed fist (Volleyball Terms and Definitions, n.d.).

Setting- Used to receive a teammate's pass in order that the play may continue by passing the ball overhead to an attacker.  the fundamental action of setting is to contact the ball with the finger pads momentarily at the forehead and following through with arms fully extended to the hitting target (Flo, n.d.).  

Spiking- is when a player jumps up and hits the ball with a one-armed overhead swinging motion, contacting the ball squarely with their slightly open hand. The intent of a hit is pure power – jumping helps generate more power and momentum (Irena, n.d.).

Technical and Tactical Skills

Although most of the time the players just focused on attack and power, these are some of the Technical and Tactical Skills I have observed from the game:

Agility- The players were very quick to move whenever the ball was approaching their side. They’d dive, dig, or do whatever they could to save the ball from hitting the floor.

Faking a Hit- This is a tactic used by both teams to trick the opposite team that this particular player will be the one to hit the ball, thus, they will be focusing on blocking her hit. But instead, another person spikes the ball and the other team is thrown off guard.

Communication- plays an important role for attacking and defending. Communicating allows your team to be informed as to who will be taking the shot and whose ball it is. Therefore, it makes the game much easier.

Roll Shot- rolling their open hand over or underneath it. This gives more control in placement, and also in timing. This again is similar in technique to a hit, but instead of powering through the swing and contacting the ball as hard as possible, the hitter focuses more on placing the ball strategically, and swinging a bit more slowly.

Volleyball Hitting Angle- The angle or cross court hit is when the volleyball hitter hits the ball across the court. The cross court attack is often very difficult to defend when the ball is placed in the deep corner. It's difficult to dig because of the trajectory the ball travels. This is a tactic that Jia Morado occasionally used.

Tip- a player uses one open hand to send the ball over the net it is called a “tip”. The player uses the pads of their fingers to contact the ball and control the direction it is sent. Tips are usually sent short in the court but can also be sent deep. A tip is in contrast to swinging the arm to hit the ball over the net.

Float Serve- A type of serve in which the ball does not spin is considered a “float serve”. This serve often changes direction and floats in unexpected trajectories, which make it very hard to dig.

Rules of the Game

a. There should be 6 players on each team.

b. Maximum of three hits per side

c. A player may not hit the ball twice in succession (block- not considered a hit)

d. Ball may be played off the net during a volley and on a serve

e. A ball hitting a boundary line is "in"

f. A ball is "out" if it hits an antennae, the floor, completely outside the court, any of the net or cables outside the antennae, the referee stand or pole, or the ceiling above a non-playable area

g. It is legal to contact the ball with any part of a players body.

h. It is illegal to catch, hold, or throw the ball.

i. If two or more players contact the ball at the same time, it is considered one play and either player involved may make the next contact (provided the next contact isn't the teams 4th hit)

j. A player can not block or attack a serve from on or inside the 10 foot line

k. After the serve, front line players may switch positions at the net

l. At higher competition, the officiating crew may be made up of two refs, line judges, scorer, and an assistant scorer

m. When serving, stepping on or across the service line as you make contact with the serve

n. Failure to serve the ball over the net successfully

o. Contacting the ball illegally (lifting, carrying, throwing, etc.

p. Touching the net with any part of the body while the ball is in play. Exception: If the ball is driven into the net with such force that it causes the net to contact an opposing player, no foul will be called, and the ball shall continue to be in play.

q. When attacking a ball coming from the opponent’s court, contacting the ball when reaching over the net is a violation if the ball hasn't yet broken the vertical plane of the net.

r. Crossing the court centerline with any part of your body. Exception: if it's the hand or foot, the entire hand or entire foot must cross for it to be a violation.

s. Serving out of order.

t. Back row player blocking (deflecting a ball coming from their opponent), when at the moment of contact the back row player is near the net and has part of his/her body above the top of the net (an illegal block).

u. Back row player attacking a ball inside the front zone (the area inside the 10 foot line), when at the moment of contact the ball is completely above the net (an illegal attack).

Courtesy of Strength and Power for Volleyball (Basic Volleyball Rules, n.d.)

Positions

Outside Hitter- is the player that plays on the left side of the court in the front and back-row. The player’s main job is to attack and pass. If this player will play back-row as well, they will also need to be a strong serve receive passer, server and defender.

Middle Blocker- is the player that plays in the middle of the court in the front. The player’s main job is to attack and block. Typically, this player hits well and can move along the net as well as get their hands over onto the opponent’s side of the net while they are blocking.

Setter- the player in charge of the second ball. This player’s main job is set a “hit-able” ball for their teammates and allow the hitters to do the work to score.

Libero- the player who wears a different color jersey and only plays in the back-row, usually this player is the shortest among her team but is quick and agile. This player’s main job is to serve receive pass, play defense and step in as the backup setter.

Opposite/Right Side- the player that plays on the right side of the court in the front-row and back-row. This player’s main job is to attack and block and is less involved in play at lower levels because of the difficulty of back setting to them.

Defensive Specialist (DS)- the player that subs in for another player just to play back-row. This player’s main job is to play defense and pass on serve receive. They are typically subbed in before their teammate serves to serve in their place or after their teammate serves to start on serve receive.

Serving Specialist- the player subbed in only to serve for their teammate.

Wing-Defender- the right-back and left-back players

Wing-Blockers- the right-front and left-front players

Off-Blockers- the player or players that don’t block on a particular play. They should move to 10×10 (10 ft off the net and 10 ft into the court) to defend against the tip. If all 3 players choose not to block, they should split the court evenly between the side lines.

Courtesy of Gold Medal Squared (Volleyball Terms and Definitions, n.d.)

Officiating Officials

Referees- is the individual at the center of the court. A referee’s duties include signaling when a rally begins and ends. The referee is responsible for officially recognizing team requests, substitutions, time-outs and communicating with the coaches at the appropriate times. There are often multiple referees in a match.

Scorekeeper- creates official records of volleyball games. Before play begins, the scorekeeper records team and player information. Once the game begins, scorekeepers not only track points, but also player substitutions, sanctions and time-outs. The scorekeeper keeps an eye on the individual serving the ball to track the rotation and notify referees of potential lapses. At the close of the game, the scorekeeper records the final score of the game.

Assistant scorekeeper- is responsible for updating the scoreboard and keeping an eye on the libero. This individual records changes in the libero rotation, notifying referees when problems occur in the rotation.

Line Judges- there are usually two line judges, one at either end of the court, usually in opposite corners. They work with the referees, signaling to assist in making judgment calls. These officials often use flags to signal when a ball is in or out, hits the antennae of the net, or when the server commits a foot fault, or steps outside the line as they serve.

Courtesy of April Bamburg (2010)

Bibliography:

Bamburg, A. (2010, June 13). Officials & Their Duties in Volleyball. Retrieved from Sports Rec: https://www.sportsrec.com/officials-duties-volleyball-6624015.html

Basic Volleyball Rules. (n.d.). Retrieved from Strength and Power for Volleyball: https://www.strength-and-power-for-volleyball.com/basic-volleyball-rules.html

Crowe, B. (2019). Basic Equipment Used in Volleyball. Retrieved from AZ Central: https://healthyliving.azcentral.com/purpose-soccer-shoes-5428.html

Flo, M. (n.d.). Retrieved from Mr. Flo Volleyball Training: https://sites.google.com/a/frco.k12.va.us/fcvball/skills

Haas, R. (2018, December 5). Sports Rec. Retrieved from https://www.sportsrec.com/217691-how-big-is-a-volleyball-court-in-feet.html

Irena. (n.d.). 7 Basic Volleyball Skills for Beginners. Retrieved from Pro Rec Athlete: https://prorecathlete.com/7-basic-volleyball-skills/

Sports Feel Good Stories. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.sportsfeelgoodstories.com/volleyball-court-dimensions-size-diagram/

Volleyball Terms and Definitions. (n.d.). Retrieved from Gold Medal Squared: https://www.goldmedalsquared.com/coaching-resources/volleyball-terms#:~:text=of%20the%20third.-,Serve,underhand%20with%20one%20closed%20fist.

Wood, R. (2008).Volleyball Equipment and Facilities. Retrieved from Topend Sports Website: https://www.topendsports.com/sport/volleyball/equipment.htm

Photo Credits

https://images.app.goo.gl/EFW7zF3y37ugABzX7

https://www.sportsfeelgoodstories.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/volleyball-court-dimensions.jpg

https://images.app.goo.gl/ivoV6kCgQG9pUidd6

https://images.app.goo.gl/eVxViJC41MqUompHA

https://pin.it/6rU1ibc

https://images.app.goo.gl/Yx5SpnF81jAZrgyJ7

https://images.app.goo.gl/WxbWeEjDPHodAnzD9

Video Reference

https://youtu.be/Gm4kGC_d-i8

[cakesunflower]

Quiet Hours [College!Luke AU] Ch. 9

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Chapter 9

IT WAS A SNOWSTORM in October and that really disgruntled Ophelia. But what bothered her even more was the fact that when she finished rounds that Saturday evening, the power in the entire apartment building had gone out. She was relieved that she took the stairs instead of the elevator when she got to her floor because as she approached her door, the power went out with a dying electrified buzz that caused her to freeze in the middle of the hall.

The locks on the apartment doors ran on electricity, and with that in mind Ophelia practically ran to the door and slid her key card in, hoping against all odds that she would be let inside. Of course, that wasn’t the case and she mentally cursed Isabelle and Laurel for going home this weekend and Tanya going to her frat boyfriend, Shawn’s family’s place to meet them finally. Ophelia had signed up to receive texts for campus updates in situations like these, and when she read that the snow storm outside had cut out the backup generators and it would be a while until they got started up again, she let out a loud groan.

Quickly, she sent an e-mail to all of the residents on her floor, telling them to either stay in their apartments, have one person inside at all times, or bolt the doors instead of letting them lock if they wanted to leave because of the generator situation. She pressed her lips together after pocketing her phone, realizing that while she may have warned her residents, she herself couldn’t go into her room with a defeated sigh. This wasn’t the first time she thought that electric door locks in dorm buildings was a stupid idea.

It was dark in the hall, the window at the end of the hall doing little to provide light since it was the evening and snowing outside, and Ophelia bristled at how cold it was in the hall. With a sigh and knowing she couldn’t stay out here, Ophelia walked back and knocked on the boys’ door, hoping someone was home. She heard heavy footsteps on the other side, relief flooding her when the door swung open to reveal Luke.

Her heart thudded at the dimpled smile that came on the curly blonde haired boy’s face. “R.A. Ophelia,” he greeted, “this an official visit? I don’t think we were being loud.”

A light laugh escaped her at his playful words, taking in how comfy he looked in grey sweatpants and a simple black shirt. It was freezing, how was he not cold? “No, it’s not,” she assured him with a grin before it turned sheepish. “I was doing rounds when the power went out so I can’t get into my room.” She pressed her lips together before asking, “can I, you know, seek refuge?”

The universe seemed to be throwing Luke and Ophelia together and Luke, for one, wasn’t complaining, as he merely grinned and stepped aside, opening the door wider to let her in. He may have had a lapse in judgement lately, trying to get Ophelia out of his mind, but Luke was quickly realizing how foolish that was—and fruitless. The chances of him not thinking about her were slim to none, and it was about time Luke accepted the fact that what he felt for Ophelia. . . It was different. It was new. He didn’t understand it, wasn’t entirely sure if he was even ready to accept it, but the least he could do was acknowledge it, in some way.

Ophelia returned the smile gratefully, walking into the familiar yet dark apartment where she saw the boys sitting in the living room enjoying their own bowls of macaroni and cheese. Typical college student meal.

“I found a stray,” Luke’s Australian voice spoke up from behind her, prompting the guys to look at her with happy grins that she easily returned after rolling her eyes at Luke.

She then briefly explained to the others how she was locked out, and they welcomed her before Ashton asked, “are you hungry? There’s some mac and cheese left in the pot.”

Ophelia nodded, smiling gratefully because she was starving and told Ashton that she would get it herself, not wanting him to get up as she made her way to the joint kitchen. Light was provided by the lone flashlight that the boys for some reason had, set up in the middle of the coffee table as they ate and talked. She had seen where the boys kept their bowls and spoons from the number of times she’s been in here already, taking one of the last ceramic bowls that were in the cabinet before moving to the pot and using a spoon to scoop some of the cheesy pasta into her dish.

For the next couple of hours, Ophelia sat on the couch with the boys, enjoying her dinner while she sent another e-mail out to her residents, telling them what room she was in in case they needed something from her. There had also been another campus update that was sent out, telling everyone that the power was expected to be back up by one in the morning the earliest, which only made Ophelia groan in aggravation.

“Your parents are literally wasting their money to pay for your school,” Michael guffawed as laughter rang throughout the apartment. “Fucking hell, dude, you can’t even spell towel!”

Another burst of laughter escaped Ophelia at the affronted look on Calum’s face, glaring at Michael who sat to his right as everyone else tried to overcome their laughter. The five of them were seated on the floor around the coffee table, a game of Scrabble underway. Ophelia was so glad that these boys had so many board games and cards; they had just finished playing a few rounds of UNO, two of which she won, before moving on to Scrabble.

“Fuck off!” Calum returned just as loudly, grumbling as his tattooed hands moved over the board to take off the letter pieces he had just placed. “I fucking pass.”

Ophelia’s stomach hurt from how much she was laughing, her back against the couch as she covered her mouth to contain the laughter that was spilling. Her shoulders were shaking as she placed her own word, earning a quirked brow from Ashton across from her as he asked, “what the fuck is angina?”

She grinned. “A condition where you get chest pains when there isn’t enough blood going to the heart.” Her smile became triumphant as Ashton’s shoulders deflated, adding up her points as her gaze flickered over to Luke. The Australian was grinning, almost proudly, whilst biting his lower lip, before cheekily mouthing hot that caused her to expectedly blush.

They finished the game about an hour later, with Ophelia winning easily and the boys being somewhat good sports about it. The five of them were in the middle of another game of UNO when the electricity hummed to life, and Ophelia blinked in realization when she saw that it was nearly two in the morning. Time had flown by rather quickly as they all looked up when the living room light blinked on, as well as the fridge buzzing to life in the kitchen.

They finished their game, Michael winning, before they decided to call it a night. Ophelia was used to staying up late, but she’s being trying to go to sleep early to get in the habit of it—clearly, it’s not working out.

She thanked the boys for letting her stay over as she slipped on her shoes, hugging them goodbye as she walked towards the door. “You gonna be okay by yourself in your apartment?” Luke’s voice asked, prompting her to turn around just as she opened the door.

Ophelia quirked an eyebrow at him, lips twitching into a smile as he stood a few feet away from her, hands behind him. “Yeah,” she answered slowly, “this isn’t my first time alone in the apartment, you know.”

“I’m just saying,” Luke shrugged playfully as he too tried to hide the smile that was growing on his face. “If you wanted, I could keep you some company. If you wanted,” he repeated.

The hazel eyed girl bit her lower lip, Luke’s eyes immediately drawing to the action as his jaw tightened to suppress the groan threatening to escape at the sight. She really had no idea the type of effect she had on Luke and the day she found out, Luke would be ruined. Meanwhile, she was pondering Luke’s proposition, wondering if she wanted him to come into her apartment where it would just be the two of them. She thought of how Luke always had girls in his room, and how if it was just gonna be them then there may be a slight chance of something happening, because she could just feel it, and Ophelia didn’t wanna be another one of the girls Luke slept with.

But, shit, did she want to sleep with him.

So with that thought in her mind, she gave a nonchalant shrug and stated, “sure.” Luke’s eyebrows raised, not expecting her to agree so easily, before she added, “if you bring your guitar and play for me.”

Luke’s jaw dropped slightly at her bargain, tongue poking the inside of his bottom lip in amused disbelief as Ophelia merely grinned triumphantly. Her smile only widened before he relented with a sigh, “alright, okay. Deal.”

She watched in excitement as he went to his room, emerging only moments later with the pretty acoustic guitar that he held by the neck. Ophelia left the apartment, Luke following after her as excitement bubbled in her stomach while she unlocked the door and walked into her residence.

Luke entered after her, looking around as this was the first time he had been in the girls’ apartment despite being friends with them for a month now. Usually they would all meet up somewhere on campus or just go to the boys’ room, but Luke realized their place wasn’t any different than the boys’. The set up was the same, it smelled nicer, and they had little decorations and plants that made it homey and definitely more aesthetically pleasing.

Ophelia led Luke to her bedroom, which was opposite of where his was since they share a wall. She walked in front of him, fingers wringing together in familiar nerves as Luke looked around the room, a small smile growing on his face as he took in the made up bed and tidy desk, while her dresser had a makeup mirror, perfumes, and several makeup products. The wall behind her bed had pictures posted all over, photographs of her with familiar faces like her family and the girls, as well as other people Luke didn’t recognize. A string of lights were pinned up on the wall above her bed as well, the only source of light at the moment in the room, giving off a soft goldish-bronze glow to the room.

“I’m gonna change real quick,” Ophelia said, pulling out her pajamas before gesturing to the bed. “You can sit, if you want.”

Luke threw a smile her way, watching as she returned it cutely before leaving the room. He settled on her mattress, moving to sit against the wall with his legs crossed after he kicked off his slippers and guitar in his lap. For a moment, Luke tried to comprehend the fact that he was in Ophelia’s room at the moment; sitting on her bed as her familiar strawberry scent surrounded him in the most glorious of ways, smile growing at the sight of small succulents and equally sized cacti lining up her windowsill. He could even hear the wind whistling outside from the window as the storm continued outside.

Ophelia returned to the room soon enough in a pair of baby blue pajama pants with a matching shirt that had a dark blue anchor on it, face clear of makeup and dark hair falling around her shoulders. She looked gorgeous, the sight of her hitching the breath in Luke’s throat, while the warm glow the fairy lights provided glinting against green eyes.

Her heart was skipping a beat or two as she got onto the bed, sitting opposite of Luke with her back against the small headboard and crossing her legs. Trying to appear calm despite not feeling it, Ophelia nodded at the guitar. “What’re you gonna play me?”

Luke thought for a moment, pondering the answer before he made up his mind and smiled dimply, “how about a Luke Hemmings original?”

Ophelia sat up at that, a new sort of excitement coursing through her at the thought of Luke playing her one of his own songs. She nodded immediately, pressing her lips together to suppress her smile as Luke let out a soft chuckle, easily noticing her anticipation.

He took a breath as he positioned his fingers appropriately, gaze dropping to the strings before playing the first C chord. His lips parted as he began playing the strings continuously before his chillingly smooth voice sang, “I saw you lookin’ brand new overnight. . .”

Ophelia felt herself sucking in a soft breath at the sound of his voice, the way it was so smooth and resonated deep within her chest even though he only sung seven words so far. Luke continued singing and Ophelia wasn’t sure if she should look at the way his ring clad flingers expertly struck the chords or his face when he sang lyrics that he wrote himself to a song that was becoming one of her favorites frighteningly quickly.

She watched quietly, listening to the Australian on her bed sing and play the guitar while the whistling of the wind outside died out until all she could hear was Luke. Ophelia was stunned, swallowing in awe as Luke’s eyes closed while he sang the chorus, fingers never ceasing their movements. For a moment, she couldn’t help but think how amazing the sight in front of her was; Luke on her bed, singing and playing and looking utterly lost in what he was doing. It was like Ophelia wasn’t even there anymore, which she didn’t mind at all because this was fucking magical.

Luke’s hair fell to his face slightly as he sang in that gloriously flowing voice, head bowed and Ophelia’s fingers itched to move the locks back but she didn’t dare disturb the moment. His face was splashed with a gentle yellow because of the fairy lights hanging on the top of the wall behind Ophelia, his smooth vocals mixing in with the soft glow of the room. Ophelia felt herself melting at the sound of Luke’s singing as he finished up the song, fingers lightly plucking the chords until the song was over and the last note resounded in the otherwise quiet room.

Once Luke had sang the last word, his voice smooth and deep with a hint of rasp, he let out a small breath before lifting his gaze to meet Ophelia’s. He bit the corner of his lip anxiously as he took in her expression of awe, her brows raised and lips parted, before she expelled a soft sigh and fingers came up to press against her cheeks as if she couldn’t believe what just happened. “Oh, my God,” she finally spoke through an amazed grin, trying to make sense of the swirling, disorganized thoughts because she was slightly overwhelmed and what she witnessed. “Luke. . . That was beautiful,” she managed to laugh out breathlessly.

Luke’s lips tilted into a smile at the sincerity behind Ophelia’s praise, feeling his stomach do that weird fluttering shit it did whenever she was around. “Thanks, sweetheart,” he responded lowly with a small smile, gripping his guitar before reaching to his left to lean the instrument against the end of the bed on the floor. He was almost reeling from what he just did, especially because he sang Ophelia a song he had written about his ex-girlfriend, someone he’d been quite successful in forgetting. All that was left was a sense of anger towards her and maybe the occasional pang of missing what they had. But did he miss her? Luke doubted it.

But as soon as his blue eyes met Ophelia’s hazel ones under the warm gold lighting of the room, all thoughts of anyone else flew out of his head.

“You’re really talented,” she spoke, her voice soft before she lightly bit on her lower lip. As usual, Luke’s eyes tracked the movement and Ophelia would be lying if she didn’t do it to get him to stare. She had suddenly found the teasing bone in her body that she knew existed but rarely appeared in front of Luke. As for her comment, she meant it and wondered what the inspiration behind that beautiful, emotional, song was. With a light laugh, she jokingly added, “I wish I was that good at something.”

“I’m sure you’re good at lots of things.” Then the cheeky smirk found its way back to Luke’s face as he quirked a playful eyebrow as he continued, “I can think of one thing in particular you’re pretty good at.”

Ophelia wasn’t clueless as to what Luke may be insinuating, her own eyebrows lifting ever so slightly and heart skipping as she watched Luke shift closer, which wasn’t too hard because of the size of the bed. She watched as he sat directly in front of her, their crossed legs touching as the tall boy peered down at her through hooded blue eyes that were swimming with thoughts far too inappropriate to voice.

Over the sound of her heart beating in her ears, Ophelia heard Luke ask, practically beg, with his eyes glued to her lips, “prove me right?”

Ophelia’s lips parted ever so slightly as she inhaled softly, nerves buzzing with electricity that only seemed to intensify when her gaze locked with Luke’s. And as soon as hazel met blue, Ophelia felt her heart experience one particular, shaking thud before her right hand reached up to rest on the back of Luke’s neck and pull him down to connect their lips in a searing kiss, which alone was enough for her toes to curl exhilaratingly.

The deep groan the rumbled through Luke’s throat at the pressure of her lips against his couldn’t have been stopped even if he tried, feeling her fingers grip the curls at the back of his head as their lips moved together. Their lips parted and tongues met tantalizingly as Ophelia’s nails light grazed against Luke’s scalp, prompting him to blindly grasp at her thighs and, without looking, uncross her legs to pull her into his lap. Ophelia’s ankles locked behind Luke’s back, her heart erratic within the confines of her chest as she felt Luke’s hands rest on her waist under her shirt, shivers running down her spine at the cool metal of his rings against her warm skin. If his hands went up any higher, they’d brush against her breasts, and the mere thought had her kissing Luke even more deeply.

They began losing themselves in each other; in taste, scent, touch and Luke briefly wondered if it was a good or bad idea that he had neglected to wear boxers under his sweatpants. Because while the lack of underwear didn’t confine his rapidly hardening length, it was blatantly obvious to both him and Ophelia just how riled up Luke was getting. With each groan Luke released and tightening his grip on her, Ophelia’s pre-existing confidence soared and her hands went to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and their lips disconnecting for a brief moment as the material went over his head.

Ophelia didn’t get the chance to admire how unruly his curly hair got once the shirt was off because Luke’s head ducked and her body melted at the feel of his full lips peppering kisses along her jaw and down her neck. He stopped every now and then to bite and lick and suck, marking her like he had already done once before as Ophelia’s head tilted back in dizzying pleasure.

Her hand rested on Luke’s broad shoulders before sliding down to blindly admire just how toned he was, her eyes closed from the influx of kisses Luke was placing all over her neck and collarbone and the sensational scratch of his short maintained beard. Even his breath tickling her skin sent a jolt of pleasure through her. The feel of Ophelia’s hands admiring his body without her even looking stirred a thrilling flurry in the pit of Luke’s stomach, inhaling the intoxicating strawberry scent while sucking another hickey to her neck. His own hands slid up from where he was gripping her sides under her shirt, breath hitching in his throat as his thumbs grazed the bottom of her bare breasts.

The sounds in the room, previously full of Luke’s guitar and singing voice, now consisted of Ophelia’s soft pants unifying with the howling wind as she, too, felt Luke’s hands treading closer to her chest as his lips continued their welcomed assault on her neck. Ophelia found herself letting out soft, gentle sounds, which she swore she felt Luke pause for a second to admire her whimpers, he liked that he was the only one to make her utterly and completely weak.

Once again Luke’s fingers skimmed across her breasts, earning yet another sweet whine. Moving his lips from her neck even though Ophelia protested, Luke hurriedly pulled her shirt over her head. He’d been waiting too long to touch her, licking over his lower lip, already swollen due to the attack on Ophelia’s body as she rolled her eyes at Luke’s gawking, “Luke, please?”

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he breathed, unable to truly find his voice at the sight of her. Luke ducked, pressing his lips to hers, hands sliding up her body to cover her breasts, squeezing and brushing his calloused thumbs over her nipples. “You’re so perfect.” His teeth grazed his bottom lip before pressing his lips to hers.

She could feel herself getting lost in him so quickly, her hands on his back and nails dragging across his skin deliciously as he kissed her feverently, the pressure of his lips and scratch of his beard an exciting combination. The pendant of his necklace danced on her skin as Luke’s own hands traveled down her sides, stopping at the waistband of her night shorts as he mumbled against her lips, “Can I?”

“Please, yes.” It was pathetic how needy she was for him already and he hadn’t even truly done anything, but Ophelia didn’t care. She’d been wanting this for a lot longer than she thought, heart racing and skin on fire as Luke pulled her shorts down her legs, ending their kiss briefly to pull her legs up so he could take off the material before his hands found her knees to spread her legs apart, his body settling between them before his lips found hers once more.

Left arm keeping his body hovering over Ophelia’s, Luke’s right hand went in between them, finger teasing the slit of her heat as he felt her moan softly at the way he was baiting her. The sensation of Ophelia’s nails digging into his skin only intensified when Luke pushed his finger in, loving the way her body arched into his ever so slightly, her breasts against his chest. Luke’s blood was rushing at how wet she was from him, could literally feel their lips slowly becoming swollen from the intensity of their kiss, but he didn’t dare end it as he pushed a second finger in, swallowing the gorgeous moan that left the girl beneath him.

He worked her open, thumb rubbing circles at her clit as one of Ophelia’s hands buried in his curls, and every tug she gave only pushed Luke into quickening the pace of his fingers. She was going to come unravel soon, he could feel it, bringing her to the edge before pulling his fingers out, a breathless whimper escaping Ophelia as she sounded desperately, “Luke.”

The sound of his name falling past her lips, so eager and needy for him, was fucking dizzying. He kissed her once, forehead pressed against hers as he rasped, “Want you around me when you come, baby.”

Her chest fell as she let out a breath, eyes closed as she blindly reached her right hand out to her bedside table, pulling the drawer open and digging around for a second before she pulled out the condom. Ophelia pressed it into Luke’s hand, and he sat up on his knees, body still between Ophelia’s legs. His blue eyes couldn’t seem to tear away from her inviting entrance, dying for a taste that he kept telling himself would be time for later, and tore the wrapper open before rolling the condom onto his hardened cock, hands finding her thighs once more.

Luke’s gaze flickered to Ophelia’s face, took in the way her pretty lips were parted so she could catch her breath before ultimately losing it because of him again, and Luke could hear his heart pounding erratically in his ears from greedy excitement as he checked, “You sure ’bout this, sweetheart?”

Ophelia let out a breath, his need of double checking with her both endearing and driving her crazy because she so desperately needed him, embarrassingly so. As an answer, Ophelia reached her hand up and her fingers grabbed his necklace, giving him a tug down towards her until his lips met hers and the ends of his curls tickled her face. She couldn’t seem to get enough of his kisses. Was it possible for her heart to literally jump out of her chest? “So sure.”

That was all the reassurance Luke needed, hands keeping her spread for him as he pushed himself in, the stretch of him filling her up enough to interrupt their kiss as satisfied, dazed moans escaped both of them—his breathless and her softer ones making a song Luke couldn’t ever hope to create.  

The roll of his hips was tantalizing, skin slapping against skin as Luke kept himself above her. They weren’t even kissing anymore, lips brushing against one another’s with every movement of their rocking bodies, and the sounds escaping Ophelia only egged Luke on, picking up the pace as he buried himself inside her torturously. The fire spread across their skin, and Ophelia’s eyes squeezed shut at the sensation of Luke’s body making her so intuned with hers, feeling every bit of him as her fingers remained buried in the soft locks of his hair. God, this was more than she could’ve ever imagined.

It was almost embarrassing, how quickly Ophelia came undone, but he’d worked her up well and soon enough the familiar coil tightened in the pit of her stomach and Luke’s name fell like a chant from her mouth as her orgasm washed over and drowned her in pleasure as Luke mumbled words of appraisal in her ear.

He followed soon after, chasing his orgasm until his thrusts turned sloppy and one hand squeezed her hip as his own release rushed through him, groaning into the crook of Ophelia’s neck as his facial scratched at her heated skin. He could see the colors and stars exploding behind his closed eyes, unlike anything else he’s ever experienced, almost rattling his damn bones. It was a hot, breathtaking affair that left them both trying to provide their lungs with the air they needed, breathing heavily as Luke mustered the energy to roll off of Ophelia, both groaning softly as he pulled out of her. He discarded the condom, dropping himself back onto the bed next to a panting Ophelia as he brought the sheets up to her chest, laying down to her right and pulling her into him.

Luke noted the way she stared up at the ceiling, one hand clutching the sheet at her chest in her fist while the other pushed her hair out of her face, and Luke let out a breath as he slid his arm around over her waist under the sheet, her skin warm against his. “Stop thinkin’ so much,” he mumbled against her temple, taking in the fruity scent that still clung to her skin. His own skin was flushed, heartbeat slowly steadying out as he held her close, not wanting to let her go just yet. Something uneasy twisted at Luke’s stomach as Ophelia kept looking up the ceiling, lost in thought, and he found himself asking, “You regrettin’ it already?”

He tried to let some humor slip into his tone, but it did little to mask the anxious nervousness that coated his voice. She hadn’t said anything, hadn’t looked at him, and it was kind of distressing him. What had just happened. . . Luke had never felt anything like it.

Ophelia looked at him then, blinking before her hazel eyes widened ever so slightly in realization. “Wha—no, Luke, of course not,” she was quick to reassure, a gentle smile quirking at her lips. She let go of the sheets, reaching her hand up to cup the curve of his jaw, adoring the way his beard tickled her palm. She rubbed her thumb against his cheek before admitting, “I just needed a minute. That was. . .” Ophelia rolled her lips into her mouth as she paused, and Luke wondered when this girl got him feeling so nervous, until she let out a smile and finished, “Unexpected.”

Luke found himself letting out a short laugh, leaning back a bit as he raised an eyebrow, feeling some of the nerves relax. “Seriously? Even after all the dumb comments I’ve made?”

That brought a wider grin onto Ophelia’s face, turning her head away from him as a giggle fell past her lips as her hand dropped from his jaw and lightly smacked his bare chest. Luke couldn’t help but smile as well, dimples deepening as she huffed, “You know what I mean!”

His grin remained teasing, leaning towards her as he brushed his lips across her cheek bone, feeling Ophelia relax under his touch. “Do I?”

Ophelia’s lips pressed together, the smile on her face tender as she felt her heart drumming happily in her chest. God knows what any of this meant, but Ophelia didn’t want to think about it right now. She just wanted to revel in this, in Luke, for as long as she could before any worry decided to creep up on her. Ophelia turned her head a bit, lifting her chin so she could press her lips to his, soft and sleepy. “Goodnight, Luke,” she murmured through her smile.

Heat warmed up her cheeks as Luke used his grip on her to turn her, Ophelia’s back pressing into his chest as he pressed his face into her neck, a small kiss to deliver a goodnight of his own.

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