#also do you spot the uhh

[sciderman]

Yk, I hate that adaptations keep making Peter a high schooler, and not just because it means he never evolves, but because the adaptations now also include wider Marvel, whitch usually (thanks to the MCU) is at the modern day stage with legacy characters and new age teen heroes, meaning that Peter is taking up Miles' spot and you can really tell when they put him next to someone like Kamala Khan or Sam Alexander who are Miles' pals. Tho Peter taking Miles' stuff is just a modern issue overall, just look at MCU whitch just stole and re-skinned Miles' personality, characters, story-beats, even the costume to an extent and then made it worse.

agree 👏

[spaciebabie]

shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name

[julie-su]

I thought Lienda was going to have this dramatic arc with that girl but she's just kind of doing nothing. You promised me lesbians and drama. Kragek isn't even a slut

They should put a massive disclaimer over my head that says 'PRE-#160 ECHIDNA CONTENT IS LOOSELY USED AS FLAVOURING FOR THE GOOD STUFF'

--ALSO I AM SO SO SO SORRY if any of you are getting into the echidna lore because of me. Please know that everything I put out about them is cherry-picked and built upon and 70% fanon springboarding off of it

[astrxealis]

i am so used to my pinned post i kinda don't want to change the format but i want to

[nyttedryst]

You had one job.

It's to deliver Kento's lunch without being seen by him or talk with him since your ass thinks it's much convenient rather than arguing again. After all you turn silent whenever in front of a confrontation which Kento would always do like the mature man he is.

You had one job.

Literary one job, so why are you on his office's couch writhing with his head in between your thighs and a couple of bullet vibrators he managed to tape on your sensitive nipples

"still not gonna talk ha? Stubborn brat."

He muffled, sloppily sucking onto your clit that makes your back arched and your hips bucking up to his face practically humping his tongue. You huffed throwing your head back as you bit onto your fingers when he paused in the middle of you being on the edge. Completely denying you of your climax for the nth time, your cunt desperately clenching around nothing.

Kento is not the type of man to be physically affectionate in public, that's just not him but apparently he's the type to secretly fuck you on his office in the middle of the day the moment he saw how one of his employee eyed you down with that sundress.

"Nami- wait- Can't-" you can barely form coherent words when a knock on the door interrupted. Loud squelching remaining echoing through the room.

"oh so now you wanna talk? Too late doll. Come in." You push the edge of your sundress down, covering his head which causes him to chuckle. His hand sneakily grabs another bullet vibrator which he entered in your soaked walls. Your mind although fogged up from the ecstasy managed to glance as the door opened, his secretary shock and flustered immediately turn back.

"I said come in." With hesitation, his secretary entered, their gaze avoiding yours. Kento keeps his pace on your clit, together with the vibrations of the toys attached to you bringing you to pure ecstasy. You're crying, whimpering as you grip his hair pulling it which he didn't really care about, you just taste so divine..so addictive to think this is all his.

"sir- I uhh have gathered the papers that need your signature..I..have also contacted Mr. Yue from the.. Acnoba company and they agreed on testing and improving our new product with their help they wish to have a meeting with you tomorrow should I add it to your schedule?" His secretary's words blurred in with your noises, he so professionally pulled away keeping his thumb on your clit. His gaze never wavered from your poor quivering body, hungrily taking in the sight that intoxicates his mind.

"leave the papers on my desk, add the meeting with Mr. Yue to my schedule. Inform them that I am looking forward to collaborating with Acnoba and exploring the possibilities of improving our new product-" His words got cut off as you let out a whine when he swiftly took out the bullet vibrator from your cunt to your clit. His digits replace the toy relishing in on how you deliciously spasm around it relentlessly hitting that spot that makes your eyes roll back.

"also prepare the contract for the collaboration of the- oh." He turned silent as you arched your back hiding your face as you squirt all over him. From his fingers to his face... A second of silence passed, his secretary not being able to handle the situation excuse themselves.

"mmm, bad move doll."

[savannahsdeath]

Ellie and reader having sex, but Ellie starts to talk dirty and reader gets embarrassed so she hides her face in ellies neck. But Ellie teases and tells her not to hide bc she's so pretty. (Imagining this w/ strap in missionary position if u could do that'd be wonderful😍)

shes so awhzjxbag ok i cant . also i got really carried away but uhh hushh warnings: just strap on smut, everything said in the ask;)))

: ̗̀➛ "you hear that?" ellie asked, smiling proudly as she looked down at you. you closed your eyes and tried to focus on whatever she meant, but the only sound entering your used, tired brain was your own moans. you strained your hearing and slowly drifted off to more distant things, like the strap pumping in and out of your desperate cunt, messily and noisily. "such a mess..." ellie chuckled, listening to the sloppy act. "but it's not my fault you're so wet for me."

: ̗̀➛ you gulped, losing a hold of your concentration. your foggy mind couldn't think of an answer - did you do something wrong? should you apologise? or was it some kind of a praise? "els—" you started, but the long s turned into a melodious moan.

: ̗̀➛ "speak up, sweetie." ellie whispered, leaning down to press a kiss on your forehead. you used the moment of closeness to hold the back of her neck, not letting her pull away. she cocked her head to the side, your gaping lips brushing her earlobe as another whine escaped your throat. you quickly pursed your lips, letting yourself make only muffled sounds. but you didn't last long, as every thrust and every inaudible whimper seemed to forcefully open your mouth from the inside. "don't hold back, i want to hear you." ellie reassured, but much to your surprise she didn't wait with her ear next to your face to hear your response. she tilted her head to face you, making you feel her piercing, but not judgemental, gaze.

: ̗̀➛ you honored her with another moan, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, to the point your eyelids uncontrollably closed. "mh— fuck." you groaned, your fists clenching around the bed sheets as your chest raised in a deep breath.

: ̗̀➛ "i can make you feel way better." ellie bit her bottom lip, holding back a proud smile. "i can make you be way louder. do you want that?" you huffed, way too dumb to speak up. she could as well start talking about the weather now, and you wouldn't have any idea how hilarious it is. "tell me, doll."

: ̗̀➛ you swallowed up another pornographic sound which wanted to sneak out of your throat. ellie's questions were usually easy to answer, so you thought a simple, weak "yes" will satisfy her.

: ̗̀➛ yet, her only response was an amused "yes... what?" as she brushed your messy hair out of your face.

: ̗̀➛ your face flushed, almost burnt with heat. your hands tightened their grip, bringing her closer, making your face find a spot to hide in - the crook of her neck. "i—" your lips parted again, brushing against her skin. she let out a sound similiar to your whine, as if to mock you, yet there was a loving undertone to it. "want you to make me feel good, els." you quickly murmured, finding a one second break.

: ̗̀➛ "well, i want to see your pretty face as i do." she whispered in a gentle tone, but didn't move away. "you have no idea how beautiful you look under me, with half lidded and watery eyes." she continued and your body slowly got rid of the previous tension, your grip on her also relaxing. she finally withdrew, glaring down at you. "just don't move and look pretty for me, yeah?"

✧˖°

[illdragyoudownwithme]

so i was going over my frame by frame images that I have stored in my files as you do

and I decided to pay attention to raph inside these projections and I saw this

you see that?

raph gets punched in the same spot, like he has the knockback in his face as well

he felt the hit

i always imagined that the hits his projections got, he felt it the same way u would inside a vehicle if it got hit. but here it seems he feels the punch in the same spot his projection got hit.

so now imma go with he feels the pain inflicted on his projections, even the multiple ones he made during the final shredder fight

so lets look at the times raphs projections got hit and imagine Raph feeling that pain hm?

his arm got ripped off

his other arm got ripped off

dude rips off his shoulder as well like his arm wasn't enough

eesh

ok so most of my ss of raph are not of his projections

im also still collecting frames from the movie

pretty excited to finish ive noticed alot of cool stuff and a few animation errors as well

i ha ve a problem

well since im lazy to go get photos imma recall some moments

at the end of the movie raphs projection shatters after crashing when saving donnie and mikey

his arm got portal chopped

all his projections got detroyed by shreddder in the final fight and they were skewred too

uhh

while writing everything i know i had more in my head but I'm tired

yea im blanking

[joedirtymadre]

A Small Prank

LUFFY X READER! FLUFF!

“(Y/N), don’t you ever feel jealous seeing Luffy around other girls?” Nami asked as you both explored the new island’s small clothing stores. “Uhh, not really? Or I guess I haven’t really thought about it,” you replied. “Really? I feel like at every new island he always makes a new chick a friend. Doesn’t that bother you at all?” Nami asked. “I don’t know, like I said I never really thought about it like that before. I know how friendly Luffy is, plus I trust him with all my heart,” you smiled. “Well, what if the situation was flipped?” She asked you. “Huh?” you asked. “Do you think Luffy would get jealous if he saw you with a new guy?” She smiled mischievously. 

“I don’t like that look in your eyes, Nami…” you trailed off. “What? It’s just a question,” she laughed. “Well then…” you trailed off, stopping in your tracks to really think about it. Would he be jealous? What does a jealous Luffy even look like? “Makes you curious, doesn’t it?” Nami asks, disrupting your thoughts. “W-What does?” You stuttered.

“Oh come on,” she rolled her eyes. “Alright, alright… I mean… I can’t imagine Luffy getting jealous over me being friends with a new guy, but that’s also because I’ve never seen him jealous,” you explained. “Oooh, fun idea!” Nami began. “What if we… make him jealous? Just to see!” She said excitedly. “I don’t know Nami, that sounds like a terrible idea,” you frowned. “What?? It’ll be a small prank, plus what if you’re right. What if he doesn’t even get jealous over it,” Nami smiled. “Still sounds like a terrible idea Nami,” you said as you both continued your journey throughout the island. 

You groaned as this is the 50th time Nami has tried to convince you to follow along with her ‘prank’. “Nami I already said no, besides I would hate it if Luffy tried this kind of prank on me. Why would I do it to him?” You asked. “You’re thinking too seriously (Y/N)! Ok, ok… what if we do the smallest prank you can even think of,” Nami said. “What kind of prank?” You sighed, deciding to at least hear your friend out. “What if… oh! What if you…” Nami pulled you in close and whispered the rest of the plan into your ear. 

“Ummm… I guess that’s alright,” you said. It doesn’t sound too bad, plus it’s nothing crazy like what Nami had suggested earlier. “Alright then let’s go back to the ship!” Nami grinned and dragged you back to the Sunny.

Later

Once you both arrived back to the ship you began setting your plan in motion. You walked out of the kitchen holding 2 plates, each with a fresh slice of strawberry cake. In an instant your lovable boyfriend popped out of nowhere, “Wow! You made cake (Y/N)? They look amazing,” he drooled. “Mhmm!” You nodded, not wanting to break character. “Who’s the other slice for?” He asked excitedly. “It’s for my favorite person in the whole wide world,” you smiled. “Really?” His \

eyes beamed. “Yep,” you replied. “Yeah, we planned to go eat it at our favorite spot,” you said slowly. “Wait, planned?” He asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Mhmm, Nami and I planned to go eat this on top of Sunny’s head. To watch the sunset together,” you explained and began walking towards Nami. 

You finally reached Nami and handed her a plate. “Huh, so I guess he really doesn’t get jealous,” Nami said. “I guess not, but I won’t lie… I was sort of excited to see-“ you stopped yourself. You felt something wrap around your waist, causing you to look down. “His arm?” You asked yourself. “Hey!” You heard Nami call out, you looked up and noticed another hand snatch the plate out of her hands. Before you could say another word you felt yourself being pulled backwards. “Guess we were wrong,” Nami began to laugh.

You looked back to see a red faced Luffy, dragging you back towards him. You were then face to face, “I’m supposed to be your favorite person,” He huffed. “Is that why you dragged me back here?” You smiled. “Yeah! Cause this cake is supposed to be for me and you know Sunny’s head is our spot! So let’s go!” He replied. “I know, I know. I’m sorry, forgive me?” You asked. “Hmmm…” he trailed off. “I’ll give you my slice of cake,” you offered. “Deal! Now let’s go!” Luffy grinned as he dragged you towards your favorite spot.

[inamagicalhallucination]

headcanon atsushi’s ability the tiger does not know what to do when it likes someone

like in general atsushi is bad with knowing what to do with the ppl he likes and showing affection -- like he tries to mimic others but he himself is still working on something that feels natural if that makes sense

but the tiger

the tiger is far worse becuz the only positive thing it can associate with positive emotions is food so every time it gets closer to the full moon the tiger starts whispering in the back of his mind that he should eat dazai and kunikida

then kyouka and junichiro

and ranpo and yosano and fukuzawa and kenji and naomi and haruno

at first atsushi panics (naturally) worries he’s a cannibal, thinks the tiger hates the agency, panics more, especially after dead apple when he and the tiger gained an understanding of each other and he realized that the tiger was protecting him so he’s like why r u trying to kill the agency members

but gradually he realizes that actually the tiger just doesn’t know how to deal with positive emotions and yeah

anyway:

atsushi: dazai-san is so nice to me :)

the tiger: yeah :)

the tiger: we should eat him

atsushi: NO????

//

kunikida, patting atsushi’s head: good job on ur report atsushi

the tiger: use his arm against him and eat him

kunikida: atsushi u look weird are u feeling unwell

atsushi: hahaha dont worry about no weird thoughts here hahahaha

//

atsushi, literally just working:

the tiger: the small candy one eats a lot of sugar. he would taste sweet. Eat him.

atsushi: NO??????????????

ranpo, looking up: i’ve actually always wondered what i would taste like-

//

and so on

is this incredibly dumb? yes but is it also funny, yes

atsushi realizes he likes akutagawa because at some point when he spots him the tiger immediately starts wondering what he’d taste like

atsushi, sees akutagawa: oh there’s that basta-

the tiger: i bet he’d taste really nice

atsushi:

atsushi: oh 

atsushi: oh no

//

akutagawa: how did you figure out you liked me?

atsushi: i couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d taste like

akutagawa, blushing: oh-

atsushi: yeah it was insane how much the tiger wanted to kill and eat u

akutagawa, slightly confused and horrified: oh-

//

eventually as atsushi learns to deal with his feelings so does the tiger but unfortunately it’s still an animal so its more like

atsushi: dazai’s so nice :)

the tiger: yeah :)

the tiger: lets hunt a deer for him 

atsushi: no??????????????

//

kunikida, petting atsushi’s hair: good job on the job atsushi

atsushi, not thinking about what he’s saying: kunikida i like u so much should i kill a bear for u?

kunikida, slightly confused, slightly flattered: uhh no???????

//

atsushi, at the store: lemme just get something for kyouka-

the tiger: we shall hunt until we find something suitabl-

atsushi: no.

//

atsushi: im sorry i transformed last night, snuck out of ur place, hunted down a goose, broke back in, left it in the living room table, and then climbed on top of u, still a tiger, and then fell asleep and only transformed back now, after u had to use rashomon to get tiger me off u 

akutagawa, dead tired: yeah i don’t know what the appropriate response is but ur cleaning the bloo-

akutagawa: wait wtf do u mean theres a dead goose in the living room

atsushi: do u not like goose :(

akutagawa: that is NOT the issue here

//

yeah

[dizzybizz]

hai here is a sketch dump with too many fandoms :) sorry about the ungodly amount of men here i have been going through it and by it i mean gay

ok wait i ran out of tags??? it wont let me tag them all😭😭😭 im gonna have to be sparing with them uhh i guess i will have to ramble under the cut then cus i like rambling in my tags but i cant with this one 😭

(ok im back from the ramble: it is way too long.... proceed forward if you want to see some guy just absolutely talk nonsense for entirely too long)

no cus i swear i have tried tagging more stuff than this before and never hit the limit but whatever

hello i really use this like a fkn blog huh

i just wanted to provide some thoughts on the harper and rosé one first bc its important to me 😌 cus i was thinking abt harper and how in my head and heart of hearts she would be the kid who thought you get pregnant from kissing and i dont think she ever really grew out of that belief. <- this ended up spawning the idea of harper being a sex-repulsed ace and i will die on this hill actually. fight me or die, you die either way actually nvm

this is just a buncha blorbos i dont know what to tell you really. sketch pages like these always end up so weird for me bc for some reason my brain always wants the characters in them to interact in some way. whether that be talking or just reacting to what the other is doing... its something i cant stop with, its so stupid and silly and i hate it and i love it. where else would i see kabru slowly losing his mind with how loud phoenix wright is in court????

I THOUGHT I HAD GOTTEN OFF THE RAILS WITH THAT BUT THEN THE NEXT PAGE HAPPENED. and all i could do was laugh and ask "what the fuck am i drawing??? HOW DID WE GET HERE? WHY IS THISTLE HERE WITH LEOPIKA HELP" LIKE that page started with the big leopika and then i was like "man i miss thistle lemme draw him real quick" but the curse struck and now hes being homophobic so </3

i rlly like how the nic(k) page turned out ... i just have a lot of nicks i like drawing idk.. the lil guy is an oc,,, one day his ref sheet will be finished and itll be awesome but not for now, sorry baby, no can do. im weirdly happy with how the hands turned out for all of them tho?? so thats a W

yotasuke, murai, nick (youll never know which one im referring to. .. jkjk its hoult i love the pose there ehehhe), nic and the entire last page r my favs. i like em all but those rlly get me yknow- the olly too ofc but ive already posted him, dont mind him being here, hes part of the set. AND OVER ALL IVE BEEN HAVING SO FUN WITH SHADING BLACK AND JUST LEAVING SPOTS BLANK ITS SO ?`????

WHY IS THIS SO LONG PLS DONT READ ALL THIS THIS IS STRAIGHT UP EMBARRASSING AGHSDFGSDHJSGD im all like "yeah i dont like talking about myself or whatever" but as soon as i get to my process or blorbos or smth the floodgates fucking break open, not even burst man.

also dont mind how i havent even acknowledged pingas twink pokemon counterpart. hes just here for shits and giggles i dont know the guy like at all, i watched a handful of eps of horizons and that was it RIP

[oh-no-its-bird]

Thinking about my desire for a mistaken identity time travel fic where Obito and Sasuke get tossed into the warring states, but bc Sasuke looks like an Izuna clone and Obito for some reason gets the wild hair look back, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna.

Notably, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna as they are in the middle of attempting to beat the ever-loving shit out of eachother.

And because Obito likes causing problems for Madara and Sasuke shrimply does not give a fuck and might even appreciate the fake identity alibi, they do nothing to actually deny the mistaken identity. Obito actually encourages it, usually by loudly agreeing with whoever shouts "omg its Uchiha Madara" as he lights shit on fire.

Anything to cause the real Madara more problem, right? Karma, bitch aa

He actually wants to cut his hair short again but the temptation of getting to continue to ruin Madara's reputation is too good, so he doesnt

ANYWAYS. Thinking about all of the above again w the context of my "Kakashi is related to and bears a resemblance to Tobirama" agenda thats been steadily growing in like. Actually, I think almost every Kakashi fic Ive written so far (oops)

Maybe I want Kakashi in this now. Maybe I'm also thinking about Tenzo, who got the same "oh for some strange reason my hair is longer now" treatment as Obito and with the Mokuton, can now be mistake as Hashirama by those who have never seen him. Or even people who have seen him but logically assume he's wearing a henge.

There's only one known man with the power of Mokuton-- why would the ever believe it wasn't Hashirama (unless they were close enough to the man to truly doubt it on a personal level)

I have no real ideas for an overarching plot, but like. Obito, Sasuke, Kakashi and Tenzo mistaken identity time travel my beloved,,

Kakashi and Tenzo traveled + landed together and Obito and Sasuke did the same so neither group is aware of the other

(Kakashi and Obito eventually figure it out bc of the shared eye connection I think)

But in the mean time they actually keep managing to avoid each other bc they'll hear rumors ab "Uchiha Madara" being spotted in the town over (Obito continues to be very loud about it very on purpose) and then avoid going there, while Sasuke hears the same, figures its Obito, and sprints over to try and bash his face in

Obito finally eventually gets cornered by Kakashi, Tenzo, and Sasuke and gets his shit rocked fr fr send tweet

Sasuke and Kakashi bonding moment(s) where we tackle the uhh. Everything. Of canon. And Sasuke gives Kakashi a crumb of respect back or smthn

Idk but I just want to see Sasuke call him sensei, don't ask me how we'd get there

Meanwhile when they're finally like, exposed or whatever there's just SUCH a mess there to be had

I'm choosing Uchiha Hikaku as my first contact bc I love him dearly and think he serves as good middleground between ranks of importance and relevance

So like. Picture this.

You are Hikaku. You're sent out to investigate some rumors about Madara and Izuna fucking shit up and causing a general mess some ways away. A henge, a slander campaign, the real Madara-sama is sure.

You get there and find 3 people fighting.

(Obito, Kakashi and Tenzo's first interaction. It's tense. They may all come from the final battle, after Obito changed his mind, but there were a lot of things left unsaid and also they all probably just wanna beat the shit out of eachother anyways. Things happen, things are said, a fight is had)

Two of them bear a passing resemblance to Madara and Tobirama respectively, and the 3rd has the look of a Senju to him.

Ok. So, Senju slander campaign? Gone... wrong, he'd assume by the fact that they were all fighting.

You then recognize that the fake Madara has mismatched eyes (!!!! What the fuck !!! Culturally significant thing there !! Was he born like that? Was it a transplant?)

And the fake Tobirama(?) has a whole stolen sharingan he seems to be ACTIVLEY using (WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! SOUND THE ALARMS!!!!! BLOODLINE THIEF ALERT !!!!!!!!)

You debate between just watching or entering the fight, but then the fake Tobirama makes some sort of reference to his sharingan eye belonging to the fake Madara's.

All thoughts come to a screeching halt.

Ok. So. Gonna get involved now.

There's a clear side here (Uchiha vs potential Senju) Hikaku can not leave his clanmate to die, and he doesn't yet know how he might have been involved in the slander campaign so it's honestly best to put this guy in his pocket and bring him back to Madara anyways

So Hikaku enters the battle, everyone makes appropriate shocked pikachu faces bc no one noticed him and aw shit it's gonna get more complicated, cool, awesome, great

(Also note; Hikaku became the eventual Uchiha head after Madara's defection so there's also a "oh shit no way" reaction from Obito specifically who knows this information. And also maybe Kakashi who I imagine knows a lot of Konoha's history and politics)

Battle continues, Tenzo uses Mokuton, Hikaku gets appropriately freaked the FUCK out at the idea of another mokuton user

Then Sasuke comes crashing out of nowhere , yay !!!

(Kakashi and Tenzo, who did not know Sasuke was here yet and are only seeing him for the first time, make more surprised pikachu faces)

Sasuke, who... possibly knew Kakashi and Tenzo were around and may have been avoiding them, wanting to signal that for now at least they were all on the same side (against Obito) nods to Kakashi specifically and gives a tense and sort of stilted, "sensei."

SO. HIKAKU IS KIND OF GOING THROUGH IT OVER HERE NOW.

Sasuke is a dead fucking wringer for Izuna in the way that only a direct relation can be. I'm talking they could absoloutley pass for twins kind of relation. Worst of all, they look around the same age (Sasuke is only a few years younger)

Hikaku is no longer fighting with a strange Uchiha against Senju agents he's now fighting with an Uchiha against another Uchiha (who's a dead wringer for his clan heir !!!!) He does not know who to believe or what side to exist on.

(Had this false Izuna called the fake Tobirama sensei? Oh god—)

Things happen, whether they lose or escape I don't know but it ends with an incredibly confused and concerned Hikaku returning to the Uchiha clan compound with tales of bloodline theft, another mokuton user, and horrifically— A possible sibling, lost and raised by the senju in secret.

Yeah. So. Madara won't react well to that. Madara won't react well to that at all.

(Izuna won't either, in the slightest. Does... does he have a twin...? Did he have a twin once, lost too early for their parents to bear to tell them...?)

It's incredibly hard for the Senju to deny any involvement when Hikaku has sharingan perfect memories to share of the fake-Izuna (Sasuke, they had called him Sasuke) standing side by side with a man who resembles Tobirama and another who is very fucking clearly using Mokuton. And that's "very fucking clearly using mokuton" seen by someone who has SEEN mokuton used in battle. Multiple times. He will not mistake it for anything else.

Anyways oops sorry for creating a horrible political scandal and also probably making the Uchiha/Senju wore like 10 times more charged teehee </3

(Obito doesn't give a shit. Sasuke swings violently between caring both too little and too much depending on the hour of the day and how the issue is framed. Kakashi and Tenzo are.... distracted. And undecided. And care about this issue from an "aw shit but Konoha wait no—" view point)

Ummmmm anyways endgame Konoha is made early (but possibly with a bit more blood involved) and Hikaku is made Hokage bc I fucking love Hikaku, yay the end !!!

[alienpossession]

Family Mission: The Backyard

"If you know what's best for you, you'll stay there and listen to me carefully. Again, you did not see me get inside his body so this might look like a silly air gun but I can promise you that you'l regret making any single move,"

Fearing for my life, I obviously followed my stepfather order, or whatever creature that reign over my stepfather's body. After all, the way my big bro just suddenly lose his consciousness mid-way playing game after my stepfather pointed and then shot the invisible air gun to him is enough to convince me that he's not playing around.

"Okay, now, since you've been seated comfortably, let me explain to you. I crash landed on your backyard earlier this morning and your father was making the whole thing difficult for me as he somehow spotted and snapped the pictures of me and my kind and even made some call to Washington DC, so we are compromised as we know it. Luckily, because he photographed us, we became aware of his.....awareness, if that's the word, and I decided to pay him a visit. He's physically here, but everything about him is.....me now. I'm in charge of his body and my fella is also in charge of your older brother. He's processing the whole thing now, hence the lost of consciousness, but he'll be fine....fine as in fine like me. Now, I know and your older brother know about your little alien wet dream sequence you wrote in your diary that you stupidly left in the study room for everyone to see. Your father, stepfather is obviously embarassed. Me on the other hand, well, I love all the fucked up sequences you came out with based on the memory reading I did, so here's what I offered you, collaborate with me to harbor my kind from the incoming investigator and you can live your dream with us, or you can try to run and I will definitely stuff someone from my kind inside of you. Up to you,"

"I....I will help you.....daddy,"

"Okay, stop. Don't be weird. You called me sir usually, so stick with that. And please, a boner? Are you kidding me?"

"Uhh...ohhh...okay sir. Sorry for making you uncomfortable,"

"Okay then, son, let's wake your brother up and clean up the mess in the backyard. Then, what do you think if we workout to the gym nearby?"

"Sounds like a solid plan....sir,"

As the three of them walked to the backyard to start cleaning the scene and take out the remaining aliens from the spaceship, the father said

"By the way, we also held 5 prisoners within our ship. They're criminals, the infected ones from our kind, maybe we can just expose them to the investigator, planting their dead form inside the spaceship? After all, not like our kind just visited Earth for the first time so our data probably already exist in your government's database,"

"Your lead, sir. You know what's best,"

"See, Griffin, be like your brother. More obedient and has more excitement about extraterrestrial life. If only you are like him, you'll not be braindead and taken over by now,"

"Stop making the nerd hard, dad,"

"Hahahahaha, I love the chemical reaction from this whole dynamic. The surge of anger and disgust that I instantly repressed and turned into excitement upon seeing him getting a boner when I talked like his dad but then twisted it into the most unhinged shit no normal human would ever say.....yeah, you should try it sometimes, Grif,"

With his cheek flushed in embarassment, Jerry meekly walk besides his possessed brother all the while looking at his father muscular back and ass that look just so perfect this morning. Maybe the alien inside make him look at his dad with different shades, but well, it's a welcomed change

[arc-misadventures]

An Easy Prize to Win

Yang: Hey, Jaune, I’ve been asking everyone this question, guess whose turn it is~?

Jaune: Mine?

Yang: Yes it is!

Jaune: Haa… okay, what is this question of yours?

Yang: Everyone in, Atlas goes into hiding for the largest game of hide, and go seek! Where the winner wins one billion Lien! So, where do you hide?

Jaune: You’ve asked everyone this question?

Yang: Yeah, I’ve received some crazy answers.

Jaune: Such as?

Weiss: I said I would float in the sky on one of my glyphs.

Jaune: Clever.

Penny: I was going to do the same with my jet boots. Should I devise a different hiding spot?

Jaune: You both probably should.

Penny: Oh dear.

Blake: I would hide in a box, with my books.

Jaune: That seems stereotypical for a cat faunas.

Blake: Hey?!

Ren: I was simply going to meditate in a tree, and wait for it to all blow over.

Jaune: Simple, sounds just like you.

Ruby: I was going to bury myself under a pile of cookies so no one would find me!

Jaune: I take it, Nora’s idea was on a similar vein, but with pancakes?

Nora: What?! How did you know, my plan was foolproof!

Jaune: Not, really. It sounds like something you both would do. But, that aside it wouldn’t work.

NR: How so?

Jaune: You’d both eat your cover.

NR: …

Ruby: Yeah… I would eat my cover…

Nora: Me too… And, I would not regret it!

Jaune: And what about you, Yang?

Yang: I would hide down in one of the ‘secret vaults.’ But, I think, Ironwood would also be there, and would catch me hiding…

Oscar: Crap, that was my plan too.

Jaune: Well, it’s a clever idea nonetheless.

Yang: Enough about us, where would you hide?

Jaune: At my birthday party.

Yang: Pfft! What?! Seriously, what makes you think no one would find you at a birthday party, let alone your own birthday party?

Jaune: Because it was my birthday yesterday, and no one showed up.

Winter: What?! But, I sent out all those invitations to make sure people would come! Did none of you show up?!

Ruby: There was a party?

Nora: It was, Jaune’s birthday?!

Ren: Oh no…

Yang: W-What?! How come you didn’t tell us?!

Jaune: You missed the last two, when I told you. What difference does one more matter?

Yang: We didn't miss your birthday! R-Right guys?

Blake: Uhh…?

Oscar: We did my birthday…

Weiss: Why didn’t we get any invitations?!

Winter: I don’t know?! Penny: Did you get an invitation?

Penny: I did not.

Winter: What?! But, I sent you all an invitation two weeks ago for his surprise birthday party?! How come no one, but, Jaune got an invitation?!

Weiss: How come you didn't show up? You planned this whole thing!

Winter: Father was trying to us my position to his advantage in political dealings again, I had to put a stop to it before anything happened.

Ruby: So... Jaune had a surprise birthday party... where he was the only one that was invited...

Nora: Oh gods...

Jaune: There's still cake if you want some, I didn't have any.

Winter: What? Why didn't you have any?

Jaune: I wasn't in the mood for cake after having that 'surprise birthday party,' Besides, it was coconut. I hate coconuts.

Winter: Ohhh... fuck...

Jaune: I told you it was pointless to tell anyone...

Pyrrha: I'm sorry!

Jaune: Haa... don't be... Besides, no one likes to go to a birthday party they're not friends with...

RWBYONRPW: ...

Winter: I don't suppose you guys can think of anything that might fix this?

Yang: If we did, we would have already done it.

Winter: Well... shit...

///

Consider this part of the, Friends AU

[slut4menig]

Guys my age

Paring: Luke Castellan x Curvy AphroditeFem! reader

Req: hii can you please write a prompt in which Luke is 19 and reader is 16 and he thinks the age gap is too much as doesn’t see her as anything more than the kid he is counselling, but she’s an Aphrodite child so she doesn’t mind the chase, you can make it smut or not iyw!! also do you maybe mind making the reader like chubby/curvy? i love your work!! 🫶🫶 - 💜 Anon

ofc u can be!!! also omg i actually kinda hate this but whatever… hope u enjoy!

Warnings: MDNI, big age gap, cursing, drinking, use of smoking, reader implied to be curvy

Luke Castellan, a 19-year-old at the infamous Camp Half-Blood, stood tall and pretty almost like a loyal dog, and that made it near impossible for anyone to resist his charm, he’d had a go at almost all of the girls at camp half-blood, including all of my beautiful half sisters.

His unruly curly brown hair framed his handsome face, and deep brown eyes, which seemed to look straight into my soul whenever he gave me a task, even something as simple as asking to clean my dorm, held a hint of mystery. A small scar on his upper cheek added an intriguing touch to his otherwise perfect appearance. Luke is the epitome of a golden boy, capturing the hearts and attention of girls of all ages, young and old.

I’m only 16, luke had never dare even batted an eye at me last year but this year, I came back to camp, determined for a chance to stare into those beautiful eyes and have it mean something for him too. Since last year, i’d started to… well develop. My body had formed into a nicer shape, i certainly grew into myself. My chest was definitely a lot bigger, I started using normal bras, no more training ones. My thighs were thick and beautiful, something many men wished to be suffocated with.

“hey gorgeous girl, you’ve certainly grown up” My half sister Silene winked at me, I only ever see her at camp and I was packing my stuff into my bed. I rolled my eyes and huffed at her.

“Silene seriously? i haven’t seen you in a year and that’s the best you’ve got?” I immediately hug the girl as she chuckles quite a bit at my sharp tongue, we all start talking to our other half siblings and that’s when one of them goes

“hey y/n, you do realise you’re now technically old enough to be going to the bonfire party?” my half sister smirked

The bonfire party was tradition, 16 and up campers, it involved heavy amounts of marijuana, alcohol and other illegal shit. It was an excuse for people to get drunk and hook up and deeply regret it the next morning or so i’ve heard. It’s almost like a “back to school” party but instead it’s back to camp. It happens on the one night that Chiron is away and Mr D is in charge, of course, you bribe him with some alcohol and suddenly everyone’s happy.

“yeah uhh i’ll go, we should start getting ready then i guess?” i say, a bit on edge of what’s about to happen.

As i’m getting ready, i’m being handed a black lacy corset top showing off my double d tits extremely well, i look in the mirror and smirk, this is one of those times i KNOW i looks good. I wore a mini skirt along with it, sure i looked like a slut but hey? what can you do?

I enter the Bonfire, the glow of the fire casually illuminating my face in a perfect light. In hand was a red solo cup with… tequila and some other concoction i’ve been handed, i take a sip and spot him. Luke Castellan, my camp counsellor and the man I was practically already on my knees for. He made his way over to me and looked me in the eyes.

“Y/n? wow you look… grown up” His eyes clearly wandered around my tits a lot more than they should’ve, and he almost looked as if he scolded his self for looking but i wanted him to, this whole outfit was for him

“oh yeah? in what way?” i smirked and slightly tilted my head, trying to seduce the boy infront of me

He cleared his throat and came back to eye contact “You’re uh.. you’re taller” no i wasn’t, it was a blatant lie, i hadn’t grown an inch over the year, i knew what he was talking about and smiled to myself about it.

“Let’s play truth or dare!” Luke and I both turn our heads to a very drunken silene who’s perched up on the table, some guy with his arms wrapped around her waist and mouth colliding with her jaw.

And who was anyone to say no to my beautiful sister? Soon everyone found themselves sitting in this circle, bottles of Tequila, Vodka, Whiskey, Jäger and other liquors in the middle of the circle, ready to be there for whoever backed down from a dare.

“Clarisse, truth or dare” An Apollo girl slurred, looking into clarisses eyes from across rhe circle. Clarisse smirked and in return took a sip of her drink.

“Dare” It wasn’t surprising, her choosing dare.

“I dare you, to kiss me” the apollo girl smirked at clarisse, they obviously had tension and clarisse made her way over and kissed her, passionately i might add. The entire circle cheered and cheered.

Clarisse suddenly averted her gaze to me, we’d been friends for a while now whenever I hung out with silene she would be there.

“y/n, truth or dare?” I felt myself nervously stare at her, a group of maybe 25 people waiting on my reply to this one simple question she’d asked. It wasn’t that hard of a question so i gave a simple answer.

“Dare” I wanted to play it safe, truth was too much for me right now, I knew it would end up in me having to tell a huge secret and I just wanted a casual night, nothing too crazy, which was why i was baffled as to what came out of Clarisses mouth next.

“I dare you to spend 7 minutes of heaven with the person you think is the hottest, and don’t try bullshit your way out of this lovebug” Clarisse was obviously feeling happy with herself, she was tipsy as one could be. Actually no, she was just shitfaced.

I felt my body begin to grow weak and i scanned my eyes across the room, except i found one thing. No matter how hard I looked around the room, my eyes were always drawn back to Luke castellan. The man himself.

“uhh luke…” I said, everyone cheered and Luke looked at me a bit confused as to why I’d chosen him. Nevertheless we walked into a secluded spot in the woods.

“Y/n I uh… why’d you pick me?” Luke looked at me as he leaned against a tree and i stood there looking up at him

“why not, they said to pick the hottest person there” I shrugged, trying to come off as nonchalant.

“You do realise you’re far too young for me, sweetheart?” Luke muttered at me in a deepish voice.

“I know but what did three years ever do to anyone?” I smirked, it was time for me to use the powers my mother gave me and capture this boys beautiful heart.

“Y/n i- i was- no! still am, your camp counsellor, you don’t think this is a little weird? you coming onto me.. I mean, you’re hot but” Luke said conflicted with his own thoughts at this point.

“Oh would you shut up castellan I saw you looking at my tits earlier, don’t act like you’re surprised i’m coming onto you” I smirked at him, giving him doe eyes and fluttering my lashes

“you’re such a brat, you know that? you need to shut up, it will get you killed someday, that pretty mouth of yours” Luke furrowed his brows and almost scolded me

“how about you make me shut up?” I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered this seductively into his ear.

“oh I can think of a few ways” Suddenly I felt Luke’s warm tongue slip into my mouth, his deep kiss sending sparks to my pussy.

he pushes me against a tree, his hands roaming over my body possessively. “Fuck, you're so young and pretty, tell me, you ever fucked anyone?” Luke continued to say as he slipped his hands to the back bit of my corset top

“n-no, i’m all yours” i managed to breathe out, goosebumps trailing over my body from his cold hands unclasing my top.

His hands reach under my bra, feeling my soft skin. He leans in, kissing my neck, my collarbone, as his hands grope my breasts. His hot breath against my skin sends shivers down my spine. “that’s perfect pretty girl, let me take care of you okay?” luke then continued to kiss my forehead and unclasp my bra

He looks up at me, his eyes filled with desire. "You have no idea how much I want to fuck you right now," he says, his voice low and husky. He starts to slip his hand up my mini skirt, his hands shaking slightly. “I bet your pussy is so tight and wet...”

i groan at his words, whimpering at the boys touch. “I- do it…”

“I can’t, I can’t ruin something as perfectly innocent as you” Luke looked at me in the eyes, piercing me with his gaze

“i’m less innocent than you think you know” I trailed my hands to unbutton his jeans and i watch his eyes widen

“what did you lie on your book log in elementary school?” he chuckled trying to distract himself from his hard on being revealed

“yknow i hump my pillow most nights wishing it was your dick” i whispered in his ear, i could feel the head flush on his face as his erection was poking into my thigh.

“fuck… pretty girl… that’s so hot, i wanna fuck you senseless, show you what a man is” he collided his lips to my collarbone and sloppily kissed it, his hands making his way to my soaked panties, rubbing it through them

“all soaked for me, pretty?” he looked up at me as i nodded, biting my lip to hold back a moan. I felt him slide my underwear off and crouch down, i felt the warmth of his hot breath against my sticky wet pussy, his tongue beginning to lap it, finding my clit and sucking on it with a pop.

I became a moaning mess, begging for mercy and for luke to continue fucking my hole with his tongue just the way he did. “mmmph~”

His hands spread my thighs wider apart as his mouth works its magic. His tongue swirls around my wet, throbbing flesh, sucking and licking with expertise. I can't help but moan loudly, my fingers tangling in his hair to pull him even closer. “Luke... please...”

He can feel my body shaking with need as he continues to eat me out, his own arousal growing with each moan that escapes my lips. He sucks my clit hard, his fingers sliding inside me, curves up to rub against my G-spot. “Come for me, baby...”

His fingers pump in and out of me in a rhythm that matches his tongue on my swollen bud. The sensations overwhelm me, and I dig my heels into his back, shamelessly bucking against his face as I shatter, screaming out his name. “Luke...Luke...”

As I reach my peak, something inside me breaks. I convulse hard, and suddenly, a rush of liquid gushes out of me, drenching Luke's face. He moans approvingly, lapping up every drop like a thirsty man.

I become red from embarrassment and stare at the man in horror.. “oh my god luke did i- did i just pee on you?” Luke did nothing but grin at me, his wet face glistening in the moonlight

“No baby, it’s called squirting and it was the hottest thing ever” he grabbed my hands away from my face

After cleaning me up with his tongue, Luke gently lifts my legs over his shoulders, positioning himself at my entrance. He looks into my eyes, his own filled with a mix of desire and tenderness. “Okay, beautiful girl, this is going to hurt, but I'll be gentle”

I look up at him, tears welling in my eyes. He smiles softly, "Good girl. It'll start feeling good soon, I promise." He leans down to kiss me, his hips pulling back slightly before pushing in again, deeper this time.

As he continues to move in and out of me, his pace picking up slightly, Luke leans down to take one of my hardened nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. His thumb finds my swollen bud, rubbing it in time with his thrusts. "Luke... oh god, Luke..."

I cry out as my orgasm hits, my vision blurring, my body trembling. Luke doesn't stop, fucking me through my climax, his own need evident in his face. "Fuck, pretty girl, you're so fucking tight right now. I can feel your little pussy squeezing me."

As he thrusts into me, his pace becomes erratic, his breathing heavy. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum, Y/n. I don't know where to put it all," he groans, his eyes wild with need. "Where do you want it, huh?"

I gave Luke those oh so beautifully innocent doe eyes he’s currently corrupting, i batter my eyelashes and whimper as i speak

“I want you to do it inside of me luke” Luke’s eyes widen at the prospect but doesn’t have time and gives in.

“You’re lucky i can’t say no to those beautiful eyes of yours baby” With a low growl, Luke buries his face in my neck, his body convulsing as he spills inside me. He jerks his hips against me several times, unloading more and more of his warmth into my inexperienced core. "Oh gods."

He pulls out and we both lay there breathlessly.

“that was a lot more than 7 minutes…” i whisper sheepishly as i catch my breath and put my clothes on

“i’m sorry i had to be your first time… you do know we can’t be together right? i mean you should really be with a guy your age?” Luke refused to look in my eyes as he slipped his boxers on

“but guys my age aren’t… you”

[screamingcrows]

More Genshin characters as ways animals court and mate

The follow up to this that no one asked for.

Welcome to another round of (hopefully) the weirdest biology lessons you'll ever receive. Essentially a shitpost, someone should take away my writing privileges. There could be better suited animals out there, I just chose from the ones I knew.

Characters included; Baizhu, Ganyu, Dainsleif, Xiangling, Wriothesley, Cyno, Wanderer/Scaramouche

Tags: nsfw in the way a national geographic documentary is, there are no graphic details but proceed at your own discretion

Baizhu - Lumbricus terrestris (Common earthworm)

Spending most of his time tending to others, Baizhu doesn't have a lot of energy to spare when it comes to copulation. This combined with his illness makes for a difficult situation. To successfully bed this doctor, make sure to first become a trusted individual, and spend time in the pharmacy with him. Once the opportunity arises at the end of a day, ensure he is amicable to the idea, and bring him to a comfortable spot (preferably a bed) to avoid later joint pain. Benefits from having someone else do the hard work - please let him be a pillow princess. Lumbricus terrestris, and most other earthworms, have pretty chill mating habits. When they reproduce sexually (because they can also self-fertilise) it is done by two individuals laying against each other and forming a slime tube as well as gripping onto each other using the tubercula pubertatis <- this is a little thickening in the saddle (the band on earthworms that look different than the rest of their body). The worms then calmly exchange sperm before dislodging and sliding back into their respective burrows.

Ganyu - Capra spp. (Goats)

Sweet, docile Ganyu absolutely adores it when she gets to cuddle up to you, especially if your arms are wrapped securely around her. At first, you find her tendency to bury her head into your armpit a bit odd, but it's pretty endearing to be honest. Xianyun clearly makes sure her daughter is dressed to impress, and although Ganyu flusters easily; especially when you grin happily upon seeing her, you have no doubt she enjoys the compliments. Each sweet word is rewarded with a little kiss to your forehead (why her smile always looks a little sad when she pulls away is something you'll have to ask about, maybe she's still insecure around you?) Oh I promise you dear reader, this particular behavior is not a sign of insecurity. Goats are self-anointing animals, meaning they make sure to smell. For goats, this behavior includes males urinating on their forelegs and his own face, which combined with a secretion from glands located at the base of his horns, ensures a seductive scent. Some females have been observed to completely refuse mating with a buck who's had those glands removed.

Dainsleif - Antechinus spp. (Marsupial mice)

Oh you unfortunate soul who fell for Dainsleif. Ella, I dedicate this to you. Dainsleif yearns. And he lingers. His love is vast as an ocean and just as deadly- he knows (thinks) it will drown you both the moment he lowers his guard. For this reason, you're kept at arms length for a while, unsure if he wants you gone or not. It's impossible to tell with his tendency to appear for a moment and be gone the next. Every time you think yourself free and healed, he appears again to drive the blade further into both your hearts. When he finally caves, in a moment of weakness, the love he shares is passionate, the ferocity of a starved beast, keeping you awake throughout the night, crying out his name in pleasure. When you awake next, there's nothing but a scribbled apology next to you. Dainsleif doesn't return after that, but you swear he still lingers in your periphery. Marsupial mice have uhh interesting mating habits. Males are ready to breed a few weeks before breeding seasons start and females enter ovulation. Mating is intense but has a narrow window of opportunity. The males funnel so much energy into maximising reproductive capabilities, using up all energy storage, that a vast majority of males die off after mating. The level of free corticosteroids increase in the males during mating, which suppresses the immune system significantly.

Xiangling - Blattella germanica (German cockroach)

It probably comes as no surprise that Xiangling likes to surprise you with treats and meals. She takes great pride in making sure you're provided for and makes certain there's never a dull moment for your tastebuds. Maybe it's a little overwhelming at first, but don't worry, she'll learn your preferences for flavour combinations quickly. But more than anything, Xiangling loves being in the kitchen with you and seeing you add your own personal touch. Sure, she has a penchant for running all over the place, but there's no place like home. Blattella germanica males produce a sugary substance that they secrete from their back, offering it to females to keep them still long enough for copulation. This penchant for glucose led producers of pest controls to include it as bait, but as nature tends to, this has prompted a rise of glucose-aversion and a shift towards the sugary substance produced containing more complex sugars. Experimental little chefs.

Wriothesley - Acinonyx jubatus (Cheetah)

Regrettably, Wriothesley doesn't have as much time to see you as he'd prefer, seeing as he spends most of his time in the fortress. As such, he can be somewhat of a passionate and at times eager lover when he gets his hands on you. He takes pride in his physique and thoroughly enjoys when you're visiting and goes down to watch him train. Better yet if you see him win a match. Once he has you alone, he wastes no time getting close, his voice low and sultry as he asks about all that has transpired since he saw you last. His hands roam along your body as you try to answer, knowing full well nothing you say makes sense, heart swelling at the look in his eyes. It's fine, he'll ask again later when you're both relaxing with a cup of tea. Cheetahs are actually very straight-forward when it comes to reproduction. Males living in coalitions will sometimes fight for the right to mate. Females use a combination of vocal signals and urination to attract a partner, the male might also use urination to indicate his location. Once the pair meet, the male produces a series of sounds called the 'stutter-bark' which triggers female hormonal cascades and induces ovulation so the female is in prime condition for mating. Wriothesley could make a lot of people ovulate with his voice alone let's be honest.

Cyno - Erinaceus spp. (hedgehogs)

We all know that the General Mahamatra can be a bit.. annoying at times. And if he's actively trying to win you over? You best believe he's giving it his absolute best shot when he isn't out on the job, inviting you along wherever he goes to relax. To the great amusement (and embarrassment) of his friends, a choice strategy is to make you laugh... It's pretty cute, if a little pathetic at times. He makes genius invocation tcg decks for you to use against him, 100% has matching cards made of you both - you get his and he keeps yours. You can roll your eyes at his shenanigans as you please, he's persistent in his pursuit as long as you haven't outright rejected him. Erinaceus males will approach the sow and begin walking in circles around it, the female might occasionally hiss or swat at the male, sometimes even curling in on herself, but most of the time is just for show. The circling can continue for longer than an hour during which the male is huffing and trying to asses and approach.

Wanderer - Apis mellifera worker (European honey bee)

Not particularly romantically inclined, Wanderer could go the entirety of your life without declaring any affection, but you'll undoubtedly know that he favors you over others. He learns and remembers, and to be known is to be loved. Whenever you express a desire or wish, if it's within his power to grant, you may soon find yourself living out that dream. Deep down, Wanderer treasures every little moment of you being 'a nuisance', and you both know it. After all, he could leave at any moment if he wished to. Once he considers you kin, he'd do anything to keep you alive and content. Within eusocial insects such as honey bees, the worker can be fertile but will, in a healthy hive, most often refrain from producing offspring. This is done to instead focus on caring for the rest of the hive. The strategy is known as 'kin selection' and is based on workers being more closely related to each other, than they would be to potential offspring. As such, the individual's reproductive success is, in terms of % genetic material preserved between generations, better left to the queen.

Scaramouche - Apis mellifera drone

Sorry. He's so out of touch with his emotions that I don't think he'd last having to acknowledge being in love, much less indulge in 'human pleasures'. After mating with the queen, a drone's penis explodes while still in the queen (blocking off others from mating) and the drone dies shortly after. There's something poetic to be said about drones only having half the amount of chromosomes compared to a worker, but I'm no Scara analyser.

I also recommend checking out my comprehensive mating study of Dottore, it's exactly as weird as it sounds.

[feyascorner]

okay first of all i ADORE ur writing… wanna take a bite out of it..

anyway… uh… can i uhh… order a uhh…. astarion x tav.. and like..tav has a fucking insane pain tolerance and always has.. and like… uhh… one time she gets fucking TOTALED in a fight and like obvi it would hurt… and shes like crying subconsciously.. and when some1 points it out shes like “what???? why am i crying wtf???” and like looks down and is just fucking BLEEDING… n then.. astarion comfort…

only if u want thoo!!!!

a/n. Im like the exact opposite I'm very dramatic about the slightest pain but this is such a cute request so Ty!! ALSO PLS EXCUSE IF THIS IS A LITTLE CLUNKY I HAD TO TYPE THIS OUT W MY FINGERS🫠🫠

Astarion is grateful for your tolerance to pain.

Of course, he doesn't particularly enjoy watching you in pain, but he’s no fool. He knows the sting and the soreness that comes after he drinks from your neck. Well, at least, it should sting. However, it never seemed to bother you, and for that, he's forever grateful for it.

These strange sentiments expand past his thirst for blood, as the relief he feels when you’re battered up after a battle and you smile at him as if nothing’s wrong is incomparable to any other feeling he’s felt.

That relief does not come currently, however.

The battle was nearly hopeless. Overwhelmed in number, mages casting counterspell, fighters constantly aiming at you…he’s lost track of it all. By some miracle you and your companions stand victorious, and when he sees that you offer Karlach a lopsided smile, confirming that you're fine, he reaches to pick up one of his daggers.

“Tav—what in the hells, are you okay?”

It’s then that he spots the way your lip quivers and tears glisten threateningly at your eyes. And when you meet his own, they begin to drip down your cheeks like crystals and roll off your chin. He's seen you in tears before, but out of something more positive—not from pain. Before he can even tell what he's doing, he's rushing toward you.

“Why are you—” he sees the blood seeping from your stomach, and his face would've gone pale if he could.

You finally lift your hands to your face, eyes wide when your fingertips brush against the dampness of your cheeks. “Oh. Why am I?…”

Shadowheart scrambles to scrimmage around her bag. “Here, let me—gods, where did I—did we use all the healing potions?—”

“Oh for hells sake. Because you're bleeding!” Astarion hisses, his hand intertwining with yours as he drags you toward the nearest tree where he sits you down. He freezes when you flinch but you shake your head, wiping at your eyes. Your other companions are still searching the enemy corpses for anything that might relieve you of the pain, but they're taking far too long for his liking.

“I’m okay, it doesn't really hurt that much.”

“You’re crying.”

“I didn't even know I was-” you wince.

His eyes narrow. “Lay down.”

“What? No, I’m really fine!”

“Gods, love, please for once, listen to me. It’s quite straining to watch you clamber around with that ghastly wound on your stomach.”

You frown, but he guides you down anyway, careful to lay down your head against the grass. “Now wait patiently. Maybe if we’re lucky, our dear friends will find a potion before I start developing wrinkles.”

A momentary silence hangs in the air. It’s by no means uncomfortable, but there are words on the tip of his tongue he wishes to say. And when he notices you staring, he sighs.

“If you're hurt, tell us. I don't care how high your pain tolerance is—if you're hurt, call us. Call me. Don't be a fool and bleed out over a few enemies when we’ve been through so much worse.”

The sincerity in his voice is almost embarrassing. But with the way you're watching him so seriously, he can't bring himself to dwell on such irrelevant factors.

Then, you smile again, as if you've forgotten about the pain. “How minor can the pain be for me to call you?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“Can I call you when I stub a toe?”

“Absolutely not.”

“I will.”

He stares at you with lidded eyes and you laugh. He feels the weight on his shoulders get a bit lighter.

“You may call for me whenever you wish.”