#also do not listen to me im about to have my period
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god i wish that were me,, full pic under da cut lol
아 ㅈㄴ 부끄러워 오빠 얼굴 치워>_<;; 끙-,,
i was listening to arari by lucia its my faveee song by her, her whole niche is period drama ost-sounding music which is right up my alley, i have a whole sageuk vibe playlist for when im drawing madara & sukuna u kno i need to get in THAT ZONE more on that next time maybe ANYWAYS
this vid popped up in the recommendations and it caught my eye cuz 1. i love da moon, obsessed with 🌙 2. what is that thumbnail haa, i clicked on it and well i kno this song!! its part of the chuno ost oooh this drama is sooooo good, not much pretty ~aesthetic~ here cuz its not palace stuff but man this is a classic
but ooh lucia's cover of it is sooo good i love the traditional instruments in the bg, i think the original song was with piano and violin? BUT THE THUMBNAIL LOOOOLL its a webtoon called 'moonrise during the day'
i should try reading webtoons / manhwa some of these kr artists r putting out rly beautiful art idec about the plot tbh im gonna look based on the artstyle only LOL for research & study purposes akjdfnskdfhuvrgf
this looks rly cute tho i love how its drawn stylistically, i could NOT bring myself to do the pointy upturned nose tho, and the big eyes like i rly dont know how to draw big anime eyes anymore💀
i feel like he would have a little bump right at the top of the nosebridge idk it just feels right to me 🤷🏻♀️ i love nose bumps so thats how im gonna draw him lol also im physically pounding dirt with my bare hands rn cuz i want to be in that girls place soooo bad fawkkkkk tbh i wouldnt even mind swapping places w sukuna lmfao i want a pretty pink haired gf///////// so to summarize. 아이고 머리아프군.
#i wonder what hes saying~ maybe.. some shit like. 'pee is stored in the balls' JSSJJJSJSSJAKKQSJJS 🤣#also hes a monolid king...#nose bump sukuna i love u#PPL WHO DONT DRAW MAJIMAS NOSE BUMP IN ARE GOING TO HELL SORRY#anyways the song.... the moon has passed.... so fucking good. sooo good.#i always ramble under my drawings lately lol#my sageuk playlist is so. 💖#alulu art#이 지랄같은 인생#man i missed drawing hanbok ☹️#theres sm artifacts in the bg cuz i played with brillance LOL idc tho
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people come and go but grief is constant and time is a flat circle
#i went thru my journal entries from last year and something i wrote down that i couldnt say to my friend#i said it to someone else this year#same situation different person#u rly cant rely on people wtf#also do not listen to me im about to have my period#also i do not like it when other people say shit like that but i said it so i excuse myself#ok sorry for generalizing i CAN actually rely on some people#lext
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being ace means i don't get giggly or horny about omegaverse aka abo but instead become painfully obsessed with details in anatomy and world building
#for one the whole abo dynamic thing in wolves is false#for another the animal kingdom is SO wild#like. female hyenas have pseudopenises and dominate males#seahorses and male birth#eating your children to avoid them being eaten by predators#males killing children to free females to mate#community child rearing!#females doing the hunting!#CLOWNFISH#omegaverse#abo#imagine if your secondary gender is determined by the social dynamics of where you grew into it#mostly female/child bearing? guess you get a penis now#do you think all alphas have piss kinks cuz of territory marking shit#anglerfish...octopodes that hand off their sperm sacks to females...#i know a strange amount of stuff about animal sexuality i just realized this#did you know some species dont have periods? they just reabsorb the uterine lining which is fucking amazing and im very mad humans dont#do that too#on the other hand. ive seen abo aus where male omegas give birth by LOSING ALL THEIR TEETH and VOMITING AN EGG#my main complaint is that abo doesnt get weird enough (plz not losing teeth and egg vomiting weird tho)#also can we PLEASE think a little more on the 'birthing from the ass' thing? please?#listen you have a right to mpreg (and trans men exist) but like. PLEASE. that baby should NOT be born thru the poop chute#ik some animals feed their babies poop (and human anatomy is like half an inch away from the birth canal being the poo canal) but COME ON#also why are all the scents like. very specific objects/concepts#flowers and idk blood?#frankly i think they would just be. animal smells but with enhanced human noses they'd be easily distinguishable#my headcanon is that they act like peacock tails do. meant to show off how cool you are#the biting thing happens in sharks (tho i think its cuz theyre kinda silly like that) but it just reminds me of people tattooing bite marks#and not cleaning the wound or yknow actually biting their partner in the tattoo parlor?#i get it. i'd love to be consumed by the void and a non recommendable amount of teeth. but can you be more sensible about it
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need a song for what i’m feeling rn bc what on earth is happening 😭
#elyn speaks now#he’s talking to me regularly like a friend#but he keeps like leaving me on delivered for long periods of time and also not letting the convo go into like a whole thing#as our once a month thing always did#and it makes me scared bc like what if he’s treating me like an ex#like what if he’s talking to me again because he thinks we have the capacity to be just polite friends again#but again he knows that i still have feelings for him right???#bc of that text that he sent in august#or like#my spotify playlists which idk if he checks but we tak a lot abt each others spotify so there’s like a 65% chance he does#so now it’s like do i semi aggressively vague post about you again so that you know that i’m 100% not over you#(i’m scared that this might make you never want to talk to me again and also i am very much past that phase tyvm)#or do i just like#go with it#BECAUSE IM DYING INSIDE 😭😭#why are you leaving me on delivered!!!! why are you texting me three times a week!!!! why do we never have long talks!!!!#which is like it should be nice that i’m not waiting for a month and then having a huge panic attack#BUT IM JUST#ughhh#j#thank you for listening to me ted talk if you’ve come this far *curtseys*
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do yk the folklore love triangle 👁️👁️
cardigan is my number one most played song of all time YES i know about the folklore love triangle
unfortunately i am a little pessimistic about it. im like the number one cheating hater i hope betty never takes him back 🗣️🗣️ also i think august lightly sucks as a person for being the other woman. STAND UP GIRL
also regarding folklore i am a true believer that half of those songs are about satosugu.
#it actually pissed me off that cardigan was so high HAHA#like i am a weeknd stan he accounts for over half of my overall top 50 highest listens of all time#unfortunately for mr. weeknd i did go through like a two month period where i listened to cardigan on repeat while doing work my freshman y#also as a folklore girlie i was devastated about the loss of like half of the folklore tracks from the setlist.#im sorry i am not a ttpd fan#i saw her in sweden and i would have paid been willing to pay double if i got to scrap the ttpd set and just replace it with like three mor#folklore songs#whispers heard ♡#georgina <3
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non paralive moots im begging yuo listen to my wife singing
#i was behind the camera nd i never blinked once lookinf at him i will jeffthge killer style burnoff my eyelids so th better i can lookathimw#i need to put My oil in his pores#i woudl fry my food w his face oil i'll let him feed me cockroaches and set me on fire like the one vid of the guy w the cockroach as long#s i get to set him on fire back i hope they project this on time square toe curlinf music tha t makes me gag if i was a vampire and he was#n his period. strawberry jam im in the background of all the shots just watching him itmust be crazy goinf from ibuki imperialism#sitch to kenta character focus all rise for the anthem of every country ever united under one stupid greenfHIS EXTRA VERSE IS PLAYOING OAOO#kenta shimeji that deletes all my shit and only plays his songs#gonna recite thi slike a mantra to myself rock myself back and forth in a corner if i get out of a parakive concert itll look like attempte#murder but i did it all myself in will be the guardian angel to everyone who worked on this everything after gokuluck is opposite of peak#poo. opposite of peak is poodoodoo. imagine having to ppost yer music after peakuluck kenta solved all my problems ever I LOVE WHEN YOU#CAN HEAR KENTAS SNARKY SMILE his little Alrights and okays and buu!If the sneezing when someones talking ab you myth was true#he would be sneezy bc of me HANDSOME HIII HANDSOME how am i gonna talk to non paralive moots what do i even say Hello! How ar e you!#i cant do that anymore im the surprise man from freak month are you sure its alright are you sure UUGUHHHH THE LITTLE wikaioaiugh at beginn#ng i love music thanks for inventing music guys thanks for inventing handsome Lockjaw Parvo Tetnis Botfly kenta tetnis eerm i thought yousa#tetris ☝️‼️‼️‼️ EVERYONE SHUT UP HES SPEAKING. LISTEN LISTENthe world will be like that one scen e in the one movie where they all stop tal#EXTRA VERSE CUTIEBEAR I LOV E YOU YOU SOUND SO PRETTYYY WE FINALLY GOT PRETTY SOUNDING KENTA AWROOO BOW WOW !!!!!! ing when he heads upstai#and just look at him when claudio went how cute how fun how SWEET and also when claudio went i spit in it my saliva is now inside all of th#se peoples bodies thats me when kenta leaves his energy drinks unattended but dw itll add extra fizz Hi ryog A the only way to describe how#i feel about kenta is like claudio gregory shawn mendes you cast a Spell on me Spell on me! STILL ALIVE okau HES SO CUUUTE kenta i will hel#you dispose of every other groups bodies okau man i gotta draw salkenta after this day 1 of scarface I already feel my beast form taking p#HIIIIE KENTA RIDE ON RIDE ON INDEED WAUAUUAA WAUUAUAUUAUA WAUAUAUAUAU kachi toru made lets be like UTV and the archiver babydoll my face is#n fire and SOOOO ARE YOUUUU KENTA COVER OF EVERYTHING FOR APRIL FOOLS CROSSING MY FINGERSS NO POINT IN ACTIN LIKE I DONT LIKE HIM I FOOOOLD#IM YOURS cozmez long forgotten they can be locked in the dome forever for all i care salkenta time im going to sweep kenta off his feet pri#cess style MY PRINCESS YOU DID SO WELL I'LL REWARD YUOUUU youre right youre a musical genius my god my savior my everything you are light y#u are like a fallen angel to me im gonna go kiss him sloppy now and listen to His Own music and draw him GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE IM A GOKULU#K GIRL thank you for reading so far i really love kenta and he straight up changed my life i got rid of my ocd opened tabs so i could#watch the stream and i started drawing after 3 years and got back into music and made friends bc of him genuinely i love this guy so much#and no amount of content creation or words could ever convey it but i'll do s o either way i love this community i love my friends i lvoe m#paralive friends i love kenta. i lov ekneta i love kenta
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not to be a complete ungrateful terrible horrible brat for a minute but like having a terminally ill parent who is also terminally fucking shitty really sucks because not only do you personally have to cope with your parent actively dying but also said parent will get mad at you for wanting time to yourself and not wanting to be their live in nurse 24/7 and also like completely forget about who you are and what you're like as a person especially in terms of like . energy level. because it's not convenient to them right now so anytime you try to think of yourself it always feels like you're Choosing Wrong
#crow.txt#like fuck me i hardly have the wherewithal to take care of myself. i do not also have the wherewithal OR PATIENCE#to take care of a WHOLE OTHER PERSON#and anytime i express im feeling run down and not really able to do Whatever#its always wah wah I RAISED YOU AS A KID. okay? nobody fucking asked you to do all that! by the way! nobody made you#least of all fuckin me.#if i had any say in the matter i wouldnt have been born like are you fucking kidding me#all of this has just been. utterly hazardous to my mental health.#that tweet about shitty parents thinking youll still take care of them when theyre old holds true#like no. your ass is going to a home. i cannot do this.#i am not qualified for this. i dont like that nobody really listens to me period anyway#but its worse when nobody really listens to me when i say i need a break or that im tired or whatever#like im sorry but hot take a lot of people are not really equipped to be caretakers for relatives and theres nothing wrong with that#idk what she wants me to say to I Raised You besides nobody asked you to or i wish you didnt#like do i Want to hurt anyones feelings. no. but i can! i fucking will! if you keep ignoring mine!#lord have fucking mercy my head hurts.
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sorry if this is out of the blue guys but i think my brain just decided to convert me to being an adachi stan
#snap chats#again technically speaking#ANYWAY NO LISTEN THIS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER AND IM SO VERY CONFUSED#i havent had a dream that wasnt a nightmare about my mom in like Ever and the one time i do has got to be. The Coziest Shit#ive only ever had like one or three rgg dreams and half of them Vaguely had aoki in it so this is the funniest curve ever#you will read my dream summary we are at a sleepover motherfucker#do i even remember exactly what happened NO i just remember being in a lobby with some other bitches#and one of them Other Bitches included adachi. im pretty nanba was also there? iunno cant remember piss#point is i just hung out with adachi for like 80% of the shit. oh my god no i remember ichiban was there#and this is a significant detail for a thing adachi said to me BECAUSE ichiban was there and vaervLKjve#FUNNIEST DREAM OF MY LIFE but also the coziest one but also mr adachi... can we hang out again:(#blaming the fact i had my kirby plush for this one since it's round and soft like he was </3#ok bye thats all i should be legally allowed to divulge bout my sicko dreams#it was just very funny waking up at the asscrack of dawn and being like Hang On....... What Was That.....#be yeah im an adachi stan now sorry team </3 maybe one day ill dream about one of my guys#tho i cant forget that period where i did just have ttm dreams for like. a week straight.... ok byebye fr now
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I will always be vocal about how much dr stone sucks and how stupid it is but to be quite honest it consumes 80% of my waking thoughts and yes i also downloaded the chinese kemonomimi doujin so i could pretend to read it in my spare time
#Listen to my problems#i was thinking again about how well picked the animals are for them like i really couldnt have done a better job#i always have something to say but this cowed me ....... a lion and a deer ... almost beastars but not .... amazing#no one will ever do it like him again. and not a red deer a white tailed deer like what other creature can present itself#with both majesty and cuteness .... the little bobbing tail ....enough to drive anybody crazy. even his allies want desperately to protect#him... and the one hunting him literally fell in love with him at first sight and licked him all over before letting him go#to be honest you look very delicious but unfortunately im not hungry ...#honestly the smell of blood is hard to ignore so can you tend to that wound first ...#and he sits quietly with him to listen to him because hes so well behaved ... you can be tamed with a fearlessly outstretched hand#the fiercest beast .... hyunjae was right when he said who would turn down that kind of affection#and the view of senku from the bottom up that tail again front and centre... slightly raised so you can see the softest whitest fur under...#but also the cut on his leg that he sustained from wandering the woods with such a tiny skirt. utterly obscene#i understand this is a dj about them eventually having lots of cross species babies but holy fuckkkkk never in history has there been two#characters who are such a perfect match for each other they can do it all#i think senku should get tsukasa pregnant actually. YOU will breastfeed. uhn... leave it to me#anyway since nobody wanted to hear it from me i'll say it here but white tailed deers literally get chased as foreplay because the female#only mates when shes ready so she just evades the male until its time but also it would be funny if senku just isnt fast enough to escape#and he gets mounted right away and tsukasa doesnt let him go until the 24 hour lion mating period is over#every fifteen minutes to half an hour he will get a load up his rear and by the end of it he will look like (pile of shredded lettuce)
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doing really bad in ways i can’t talk about which is making it worse
#just cancelled a meeting so i could cry in the office LMAOOOOOOO 🥰👍#purrs#the mortifying ordeal of my therapist being on her honeymoon rn 😹😹😹😹😹#i think i am just a bad person and my needs hurt people who need me. and it’s not fair to them and idont know what to do with that.#i think i may have to move out sooner than i am ready to and not listen to anyone telling me to keep waiting. this is not sustainable. it’s#not sustainable for my family because i hurt them with my needs. and it’s not sustainable for me to be unable to need and get what i need#without hurting them. i think what’s so hard about this is that i have to do it alone and everyone is against me doing it but i have to do#it anyway. i don’t know. i don’t want my sister to see this and get hurt. if you do see this im sorry i can’t be what you need. im sorry my#needs hurt you. but they’re needs. i have to be selfish even though my brain is screaming at me in your voice that i don’t. i just need to#escape it all. i am allowed to need independence and alone time and im sorry i was cruel about asserting it but i need to assert it and no#one at home understands why but I need to. im not talking coherently i just feel so wretched and sick to my stomach with guilt and grief and#frustration and shame and i have to facilitate a huge session in an hour and a half.#delete later#like my friends / mutuals / mentors / etc can tell me until they’re blue in the face that i am not a bad person and i deserve to live an#independent Life etc etc but none of you are actually in my house and you don’t see how it is and how i am the cause of all of it and how im#stuck and making things worse. and i can’t summon my strength or calm down or anything. i don’t know. i have to get ready for the session i#just can’t even think straight. my family is right and i am also right and i can’t assert my rightness over theirs. so im stuck forever.#if i could i would leave work early and go home but there’s no one to take me home and home is actually the worst possible place to be#right now LOLLLLL. i just need to curl into a bed and cry. also im about to get my period so thats probably why im like this lol
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the problem is. okay. i have an insanely strict bedtime on school nights. (not really but i cant have my ohone kn my room & ill he murdered if im on the computer late so whats even the point). but. i cannot stop thinking about tjis podcast what is WRONG with meee
#i dont wanna go to school tomorrow i just wanna listen to bill be a fucking idiot#GODDDDDDDD#im so close tooooooooo :(#hut the thing is i already slept in today & it Fucked Me Up (ots cause i had to get up early ladt friday) & like i cant fo that again#maybe ill read another chapter of the book that seemed to help a lot last night#& my kitty cat slept with me!!!#but also i dont wanna go to school cause that freak ass (/neg) guy is coming to talk & idk hw to get out of it & id kust ask my mom if i#cpuld go at lunch instead but i kinda also really wanna go to 3rd period because we’re finishing taming og the shrewwwwwwwww i mgiht just#have to listen to himmmmmmmm#fuckkkk#maybe ill just think about lals instead <3#would it be l:als in stead?#idfk#guys im having a crisisssss#i’ll probably jusr go & ignore him Big Time or smthing but ill also ask my mom abt it caus ei Really dont wanna listen to him#id tell u guys who he was but i think it would probably doxx me big time so im#Not doing that#fuckkkkk#it#theo.txt#anytwya what are trh tags on tumblr for uf not to yse as a personal (public) diary
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#i think one thing i really didn't prepare for w overnights is just how fucking lonely it is. like yeah 80% of the reason i took it was to#get away from customers but like. it worked. and the night shift team is v v small. there's only 4 of us and we've never been scheduled all#at once yet. and usually we're running around on completely opposite ends of the building going long periods of time without#radioing each other. and then i come home all amped up and the rest of my house is still asleep. and then when they wake up#it's just to get ready and go and we don't really have time to talk. and by the time they get back i'm sleeping#and it's my first night off and i can't fuck up my whole schedule i worked so hard to switch over to w them flipping me all over the place#so now i'm just like. sitting in the half light trying not to wake anybody up not doing anything. the only places near us open are#gas stations and i can't exactly loiter there and what would i do even if i could. and it's too cold to go for a walk or to the park#or something. and i feel like i haven't talked to another human being about something that wasn't related to work in years#and it's only been a week.#and we can listen to music or podcasts or something but our carts and machines are so loud you miss half of it. and we can't hold#super long conversations when we ARE in the same room for the same reasons. plus we all want to die so none of us feel like talking.#and just. im tired and lonely and want to sleep and im already regretting this but i'd feel bad for backing out now when they have so#few options and i volunteered for it in the first place#and then there's also like. even just doing my usual solitary thing at home feels so much more isolated bc there's not the noises#of other people existing nearby. the nearest signs of life are some coughing and then a car on the other side of the block#just. what am i even doing here.#tag ramble
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need to get tortured by a girl who'll explain things to me at length
#tortured feels like a bit of a strong word but what's a better way to phrase#'repeatedly hurt physically for an extended period of time with no regard for my consent or endurance'#just a toy who makes funny noises when you idly mess with it while talking#i think id make a good toy‚ really. im pale so marks show up easily and look pretty#lightweight but sturdier than i look#not too sensitive - you gotta break me in a bit but i think the difference in the before and after is fun#well anyway. doesn't that sound cushy?#laying across her lap (probably tied up just to make sure i don't trash around too much) and listening to her talk#while getting repeatedly stabbed with a fork or hit with a riding crop or... whatever else can be done idly and repeatedly#preferably gagged but that's mostly because i'd feel guilty about being too loud and interrupting#and also the thought of her taking out the gag only to ask if i have any questions is hot#how do i pursue a career as a stim toy#[dreams of stabbing and being stabbed.]
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Pls tonight I just wanted to watch testing in the background while I worked on gifing 2005, but then I got completely blindsided by certain things which I am now working on :)
#HOW HAVE I WATCHED 3+ HRS UGH#i am so tired and i just listened to them talk about fuel for like 10 mins ah#this feels like some weird self inflicted torture bcs its not like i hate it but its also not the most exciting#testing is a bit too overstimulating ngl bcs they keep showing so many people and its hard to keep up!#i do not wish to ever gif anything live again it is a certain kind of pain 🫠#usually id just gif by screen recording on my phone but silly f1 app blocked it so i had to figure it out on pc#well anyways im happy to have recorded what i did even if it was a bit tortuous#catie.rambling.txt#it is 5 am...i didnt want to stay up this late UGH ive been up like what. 19 hrs?#*also silly thought#but they talked to logan sargeant and this other american guy and#why is it lowkey kinda comforting to me to hear american accents after only hearing brits for an extended period 😭
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sighs. okay tmi posting sorry guys
#lunar bunny chatter#my horniness has been fluctuating the last day or so and it's definitely because of my period. this morning was crazy#i went to some DMs to listen to an audio message i got and i just died again and thought about some stuff which led me back onto tumblr#and i just went to look at some text posts and now that i look back. dude i have such an atrocious daddy/mommy kink it's actually funny#i mean. i really like the idea of being an appealing figure and my criteria for who i call daddy is so specific. there's just two people#that fall into that category but i don't like the other person as much as the other one. hi sorry for being gay i need this off of my chest#also hanging out with some friends and im so bad at comebacks and all that. how the fuck am i gonna top without stuttering and fumbling#and forgetting words.... that's my biggest worry. it doesn't help that i get super chatty when nervous but maybe i can work it in my favor#i wanna try out the title stuff just to test the waters before going absolutely ham. maybe as a cute joke i'll go “oh sure w/e u say daddy”#“lol haha” but it just seems real fun. i think it's hot too but. yeah it's a lot to unpack ahaha.#i still have a lot of guilt for talking dirty and being more brave when talking but that's just because i always felt like i didn't have...#the right to explore that especially when a lot of people i knew back then thought of me as “pure and innocent girl” and like. yeah fuck no#this was a really meandering ramble but my point: “daddy hot mommy hot i wanna explore that and im also nervous about stuff”#i do genuinely enjoy when i get in the mood though especially with someone i trust and like. click with? i hope that isn't too much to say#but it feels very natural and i don't have to force or hide anything. i just need a bit more confidence ahaha#that's all the rambling i got in me im gonna listen to some classic music from latin artists because im silly and mildly sentimental rn.
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AND THE RESIDUAL EFFECTS. them using this song as the outro to the first episode > me getting sooo into green day (and then me eventually going to hella mega tour) > how much influence has that had on my music taste now ?? and me seeing the ben schwartz and thomas middleditch tour bc of the show. my fucking zac woods phase where i watched every single thing on his imdb. got into parrty down from martin starr. jimmy o yangs comedy and his book. the death grip that show had on meeee
#IM GOING TO CRY LISTENING TO THIS SONG ITS SO INHERENTLY TIED TO THIS PERIOD OF MY LIFE.#AND I CAN REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME IT PLAYED SO CRYSTAL CLEARLY. in the living room at 1 am with my mom and us watching this show for the#first time... one of the first Vulgar shows we watched together bc i was 14 and she didn't like showing me things with cussing but we#watched the whole show together... remmembered the first episode ending and this song playing and sitting in the couch chair thing like#holy shit. this show is so good. im having so much fun. its summer and im about to go into 10th grade and i love this tv show after#the first episode. and the OBSESSIONNNNNNNNNNNNN#i also very clearly remember reading fanfiction the summer AFTER THAT at an amusement park while waiting in line for the roller coasters#truly like. THREE FULL YEARS THIS WAS ALL THAT MATTERED TO ME#I REMEMBER HBO DOING THE AUCTION AFTER THE SHOW ENDED AND THEY WERE SELLING PIECES FROM THE PROPS AND COSTUME DEPARTMENT#AND I COULDNT BUY ANYTHING BC I DIDNT HAVE ANY MONEY BECAUSE I STILL HADNT EVER HAD A JOB BECAUSE I WAS A KID.#emily.docx
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