#also couldn't sleep after

[king-spite]

just saw I Saw The TV Glow for the first time

[essektheylyss]

My thing about Veth potentially venturing into polyamory is that I do think everyone involved would be perfectly fine with it and happy to help her experiment, and I think that no matter how they do it, it would not fix her. This isn't to say that she wouldn't get any benefit out of trying! It's just to say that it's not a solution to her actual problem, because I genuinely don't think the problem is that she's lacking any one thing that would make her life complete.

Fundamentally, I think Veth struggles with the idea that there will come a point at which she has to settle. Not in a bad way, just in the sense that she is one person with one life and she will have to live within those bounds. Because the thing is, I don't really think her issue ends at struggling to "have it all"; to an extent she does! She is a good parent, even if her kid is a little rebellious; her marriage is supportive (and has fun sex); she gets to go off to save the world with Yeza's blessing on occasion, when the world needs saving. She doesn't have all of these things all the time, but... that's not really a flaw, that's just a fact of life.

But she started out her adult life settling to an extent—even if she loved Yeza and loved being Luc's mom, she did the safe thing that was expected of her. The goblin attack and everything that transpired after shoved her out of that life, but in retrospect, to an extent it likely feels that that pushed her to find something more that she wouldn't have had otherwise. Being pushed to her limit under the worst conditions made her better, stronger, braver, and at the end of it she found that she could have both her original life and much of her new life—so why wouldn't she then wonder if further experiences of that ilk could do the same?

Crucially, she has not actually run up against a hard limit yet, and as such she hasn't had reason to believe that there is a point at which she has to stop and recognize that there isn't more for her to find. When she was drinking more heavily during missions, even when it caused the death of herself or others, there were no long-term consequences. And the thing is, I'm not saying that she should face that kind of major consequence, but she seems as though she is scared to accept that maybe she could be happy if she stopped before she does.

I'm also not suggesting that she should stop experimenting or trying new things—the Luxon knows I am not one to talk in that realm—but I do think she is searching for novelty not because that would make her happy, but because she doesn't believe that she has the capacity to know what would make her happy. She was unaware that polyamory was even an option, so think of what else she might not be aware of! She doesn't have perfect knowledge of the world, after all, so how can she trust that she's found what she really wants? So yeah, she could fuck someone else, and it might even be an enjoyable experience that she didn't know was missing! But that only prolongs the question of what else she might be missing.

I think that deep down, she's terrified that if she doesn't keep pushing until that external hard limit, she will end up with regrets later, and simultaneously she is resentful that her friends all seem to have reached a point where they are largely content with what they have, because she wants them to have everything. She wants herself to have everything. And she has not yet allowed herself to come to terms with the fact that only she can determine when the everything of what she already has is enough, and anything else is the cherry on top.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

and! barbarian!fig! its her

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

THE TRAINEE Off Jumpol as Jane Episode 4

[monochromeblend]

fluorescent shrimp

[camellcat]

so, I just saw seeing red for the first time. I thought I was prepared for what I was getting into? I wasn't. definitely had to take a break after that episode... wow. I can see why it had the actors getting therapy cause it left me shaking just after simply watching it. I can also see how that episode could completely turn someone against spike/spuffy. I adore spike but uh for once in my life I did not enjoy seeing him on my screen at all after that

[call-me-pup2]

On the train zooming! Might as well have wore a scuba suit with the weather though, going to go charity shop hunting for a cute waterproof trench coat so with me luck!

[dykeseinfeld]

wait i was arguing with my sister abt this and preface they are all disturbing and emotionally affecting bc that's the point of the books but

[sparkleresthold]

Dr. Viktor my beloved 💜💚

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Never Grow Up is a sad song and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.

Wish I'd never grown up I wish I'd never grown up

Oh, I don't wanna grow up Wish I'd never grown up Could still be little Oh, I don't wanna grow up Wish I'd never grown up It could still be simple

How is that not the saddest thing ever. I get Robin is thematically the same, but it feels less sad because yes, he will grow up and he will have to face the realities of the world, but if his childhood was good he will have developed the resiliency needed to face the world as he gets older (you'll learn to bounce back like your trampoline). Whereas Never Grow Up is the kid who wanted to grow up, did grow up, and realized being an adult isn't fun, kind of sucks, and they just want to go back to being a child.

I am right there with you on Never Grow Up being a sad song. It gave me pause a few years ago when it was all over Instagram reels for families/kids cause I was like... Um... it's not a "aw we want them to stay little because they're so cute!!! 🥰" story, it's a "I'm so traumatized hurt by what I've been through that I wish I could go back in time to before it happened."

I don't want to pit Robin and Never Grow Up against each other because I love them both for different reasons, but I think the poignancy in them kind of stems from a similar well but goes in different directions. In both, the narrator's own pain comes through the world she's building for the child. But the difference is, I think, that in Robin, she's singing to the child and is vowing to try to help this child stay as innocent as long as possible. She's pouring all this love and loss and wisdom into a child she loves and who is loved by everyone in their life.

Whereas in Never Grow Up, she may be singing to a child, but it's clear she's singing to herself. It's the "I just realized everything I've ever had is one day going to be gone" of it all, which is why all the memories she lists are so heartbreaking. It's someone on the cusp of adulthood who's like, confronting the fragility of life. It's incredibly heavy for what on the surface sounds like a lullaby.

Or, to put it bluntly: Wish I'd never grown up -> Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.

[inthegardensofourminds]

May the Fourth be with you!

[citizenerased77]

[maddymoreau]

Fallout New Vegas Lucky 38 Presidential Suite Sleeping Arrangement Headcanons:

I've been thinking about how the sleeping arrangement would work, since there are only three beds and six couches in the Lucky 38’s Presidential Suite.

Here’s what I imagine:

Veronica Santangelo and Rose of Sharon Cassidy:

In the smaller bedroom to the left, Veronica and Cass share this bed together. Veronica is used to sleeping close to someone since she grew up in a bunker. While Cass has slept in worse conditions while traveling for her caravan work. So neither mind sharing.

Sometimes sleeping next to Cass makes Veronica think of Christine.

If Cass is up late drinking or can’t sleep (she finds the Lucky 38 creepy) then she’ll drink until she's knocked out. Sleeping on one of the empty couches or while sitting at the kitchen table.

Lily Bowen:

Lily sleeps by herself on the bed next to Veronica and Cass'. Since she's too large to use a couch and takes up an entire bed by herself. Everyone has woken up before to Lily listening to the holotape of her grandchildren, but no one is ever bothered by it. Lily has also tucked everyone at least once into bed.

Craig Boone:

Boone ALWAYS sleeps on the couch. He’s used to sleeping in uncomfortable positions due to his NCR work, so he doesn’t mind. I think he'd also feel guilty taking a bed. Also, he doesn't want to share a bed with anyone else because the last person he did that with was Carla.

He usually likes the couch next to the pool table since it faces the Lucky 38's elevators. However, if Cass falls alseep there after drinking a little too much, then Boone will take a different couch.

Rex:

Rex changes where and who he sleeps every night, but whenever he sleeps with Boone it’s like this:

Raul Tejada, Arcade Gannon and My Courier Six:

Raul, Arcade and her all share the main big bedroom.

Usually Raul and Courier Six share the bed with ED-E (and sometimes Rex) in the middle. Raul will 100% play the arthritis and old man card.

Despite ghouls being described as gross/smelly, even Raul describes it "stink like a public toilet after Cinco de Mayo". Courier Six isn't bothered by it and doesn't mind sleeping next to him.

Actually, during the two years she worked as a courier she slept alone in many dangerous places. So, now being able to sleep next to someone makes her feel safe and happy.

Arcade usually takes the two couches and pushes them together. It's never comfortable, but he would rather do that than share a bed. His height makes sleeping on the couches difficult.

Arcade LMAO:

When Courier Six and Raul are gone he gets some of the BEST sleep in his life. The Presidential Suite beds are probably one of the few times in the Mojave he's found a bed that fits someone his height.

If Raul and Courier Six return late and Arcade is sleeping they'll just let him have the bed and sleep on the couches normally.

ED-E:

99% of the time ED-E is snuggling Courier Six. However if she's gone he'll either lay next to wherever Rex has settled, intentional sleep near Arcade to annoy him or just float by the elevator waiting for her return.

Courier Six snuggles ED-E like this:

[spiocean]

before lesson 11 has come out

Solomon: You really just gave him the grimoire....

MC: I invested it in trust that will reforge my pacts.

Solomon: Well... I think you can call it the way, yes. Though you could have done more.

MC: You know, I don't even need it to control them.

MC: ...And if the grimoire was your version of a knife under the pillow I recommend you to remember who you sleep with. :)

Solomon:

Solomon: I—

Thirteen: You two, get out of here!

[nest-being]

there is not enough caffeine in the world to address how tired i am 🥴

[moonchild-in-blue]

vessel sleep token the first belly dancer

*runs away*

Come back 🥺 You're cooking 🥺

I wanna give him those cute belly dancer waist scarfs with the clinking coins 🥺✨