#also ci is Clunky to me.

[hueningkai]

natsume is releasing a new harvest moon game that looks semi-decent... but I can't bring myself to support them at all. they're using the harvest moon name to trick people into buying because there are still a lot of people who don't realise story of seasons is the original harvest moon (natsume is the publisher, not developer. since then natsume split from marvelous but kept the name) sure the game looks a lot better than the lost valley (natsumes first harvest moon solo release) which I played for about 10 mins and couldn't bear to play any more of it </3 but it doesn't mean it will be any good.

farming sims are HUGE now. there are new ones being released every month it feels like, and I love that for me, but sometimes they really miss the mark. I personally prefer small maps for example, I prefer games focusing on the farming (not to say I don't like larger maps or anything but it can be a lot to manage, especially time-wise) I keep trying to enjoy coral island but it's HUGE and not entirely easy to navigate at first so it keeps putting me off 😭 it's really good in itself but I need more time with it me thinks

[kalamity-jayne]

Sorry for asking but I am a cis male teenager (well, I thought I was.) but lately I have realized I think I might be a trans girl? I am very scared to drop my masculinity. How did you find out you were trans if that’s okay to ask?

Of course it's ok! I am always happy to help someone who is questioning their gender. However, this is actually a pretty loaded question, because while there is a lot of talk about "when my egg cracked" in trans circles, figuring out you're trans isn't always attributable to any one singular event. Some folks might crack through and emerge from their egg in one swift motion but that is not true for everyone, it certainly wasn't true for me. Sure I could tell about the moment the first crack in my shell appeared, but a single crack in the egg is a far cry from actually breaking out. For many it's a process that can involve a series of revelations and tends to require lots of self reflection and learning how to love yourself. So, there is no quick and easy answer for this. However, I think my story will have a number of different lessons relevant to your question.

Before getting into all that though, I feel I must point out that cisgender folks rarely ask themselves these kinds of questions and when they do entertain these thoughts it's brief and comes with very little agony. The fact you have gone so far as to reach out to trans woman for advice, the fact the you are clearly worried by the prospect of being trans, is a pretty clear indicator that you probably are trans. Regardless of whether you actually are transgender or not, I want you to know that either way, it's ok. You will be ok, no matter what conclusions you come to.

Now, the story of how I figured out I was trans. Bear in mind, the first “aha moment” was 20 yrs ago and things were very different back then. I was about 17yrs old at the time and the term transgender didn't have the currency then that it does now, there wasn't the robust set of terminology that we have today, there were far fewer resources to turn to, no social media, and the overall public opinion was significantly more hostile towards anything LGBT. Anyway, more below the cut.

I didn't follow the typical trans narrative of the time in the sense that, as a child I didn't really care about my clothes so long as my favorite cartoon characters were on 'em, I liked toys typically marketed towards boys, I looked like a boy and everyone referred to me as a boy. So I thought I was a boy. However, I do have a vague memory from early childhood, somewhere between the ages of 4-6, of sneaking into my mother’s room and stealing a pair of her satin underwear and trying it on (it surely would have been too big on me but I remember liking the texture of the fabric) and hiding it under my bed. This memory has since been confirmed during my adulthood by my brother who shared a room with me at the time and had apparently found the hidden stash.

From an early age I was explicitly shunted towards masculinity. I was regularly told to “stop acting like a girl,” and “quit crying like a girl,” and even at one point to “stop walking like a girl,” by my peers and one of my brothers. By the time I was a teenager I was doing my best to be as masculine as possible going so far as joining the highschool wrestling team, a sport that is as homophobic as it is homoerotic, and I hated every minute of it because being manly didn't feel natural to me (and it definitely didn't stop the bullying). It felt like I was trying to ice skate uphill. I fit in but only imperfectly for I was merely acting.

I was also very confused about my sexuality. I thought maybe I was gay or bisexual (turns out the latter) but that didn’t really explain what I was feeling. Around 17yrs old I got curious about transsexuals, thinking maybe the answers would be found there and hoped on to the early and oh so clunky internet. Now I knew of transsexuals conceptually but I didn't know anything about them. Sadly, pornography was really the only reliable way to actually see what a trans body looked like back then. I was stunned because the women I saw did not look at all the way I expected. I was blown away by how so many of them, genitalia aside, looked indistinguishable from cisgender women. And they were all absurdly beautiful. I felt an immediate attraction but there was something else I felt too, envy. And that realization was the first crack in my eggshell.

After that I couldn't get the thought of crossdressing out of my head. So, I dug through a box of my mother's old clothes and took a few items she no longer wore, an old white tennis skirt and a very very 70s sleeveless orange blouse. I was so comfortable in those clothes and when I looked at myself in the mirror I felt good, really good. So, I continued exploring, shaved off all of of my body hair, went to department stores that were open late at night to buy girl clothes (deathly afraid someone would recognize me), I would stay up late at night to watch HBO because at midnight they would occasionally air stuff about trans people, (I remember two documentary shorts in particular and the movie Soldier’s Girl) and I scoured the internet for more information. The internet search brought me to a website called TG list (at least I think that’s what it was called, this was 20yrs ago after all) which was a directory of resources ranging from The Breast Form Store (which still exists!), a myriad of gender identity quizzes (I took nearly every single one), and Susan’s Place.

Susan’s place was one of the few reliable places to hear from actual transgender adults. Unfortunately, while Susan's Place had a lot of useful information the forums there were full of horror stories, a never-ending supply of all the things those women had suffered. So needless to say, there was little to no positivity around transness to give me hope. I was afraid to call myself trans as a result, afraid of what it meant for my life, my future, and my physical safety (you have to remember that back then Mathew Shepard wasn’t old news, his tragedy was practically current events). So I called myself a crossdresser but for reasons I didn't understand at the time I deeply resented that label. I think deep down, no matter how much I tried to deny it and bury it, a part of knew I wanted to be a girl. So when I came out to my parents as a crossdresser and explicitly told them I wasn't trans, that I didn’t have any desire to transition to female, there was that lil voice at the back of my mind calling me a liar. That voice would follow me until my late 20s.

Coming out was a real struggle for me because not only did I think my life would literally be in jeopardy, I thought everyone would think I was making it up, having not followed the stereotypical models of transsexuality. When I came out to my parents they didn't disown me or anything but they were noticeably uncomfortable around me when I was in girl mode. At a certain point I needed their help (credit card) to buy a gaff for tucking and that was when my parents, out of a misguided desire to protect me, pushed me back into the egg. Because of their rejection I spent the rest of highschool and most of my college years trying to hold the egg together with even more denial and by doubling down on masculinity. While I did have some fun during my college years, on balance I was miserable and depressed. I chafed at my male costume and I knew I was lying to myself the entire time, and I hurt myself a great deal.

During my senior year of college I started privately dabbling with crossdressing again, the desire had been nagging at me incessantly. A short time after graduating I met my wife who accepted that side of me and she introduced me to the BDSM/kink community, and the overall culture of nonjudgmental acceptance there cracked the egg for good, because is provided spaces besides my own room where I felt safe being a girl. From that point on I slowly but surely came out of the egg, first calling myself a crossdresser, then genderfluid for awhile, then GENDA passed in NY making me an explicitly protected class and for the next 2 yrs I presented as a they/them genderqueer woman 100% full time without HRT (I was still reluctant to call myself a woman).

I wrestled a long time with the choice to go on HRT. Ultimately that was always a big stumbling block for me. Therapy had gotten me pretty far but I was still afraid of so much and was unsure I would be happy with the changes because my parents had initially rejected me as their daughter in very paternalistic fashion I struggled to trust my own instincts. I still struggle with that sometimes. Eventually, I befriended a trans woman in my neighborhood who pointed out HRT works very slowly and that it takes a long time for any permanent changes to take root. So, she suggested I give it a try and if it didn't feel right I could stop.

I was also taking gender identity quizzes again. Now most of these claim to be diagnostic and those ones a generally misogynistic garbage (they ask stupid questions like, “are you good at math?” and assign a gendered value to the answer) but I happened upon one that started with the disclaimer that it wasn't diagnostic and instead only offered questions that are good to think with. Two questions in particular were very helpful. The first asked, "If you could take a pill that would allow you to wake up tomorrow as a girl, would you take it?" My answer was a hesitant yes, but that yes was bolstered by the next question, "If you could take a pill that would allow you to wake up as a man, in your current body, but without any dysphoria or desires to be feminine, would you take it?" My answer was an emphatic no because that would have felt like killing an important part of myself off. I then at the age of 33yrs old started HRT and 4yrs in I am incredibly happy. That was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Now, I know that was a lot of fucking text to read but I wrote all of that because I know the prospect of maybe being a trans girl feels scary to you right now but I want to assure you that as daunting as it may seem there is so much about being a trans woman that is full of beauty and joy. I love my trans womanhood and despite the hardships, I wouldn’t give it up for anything. In fact the opposite is true. Knowing what I know now, I would give up almost everything in order to be a woman. So if you feel like you want to give girlhood a try, do it! You can take small incremental steps and you can always stop if it doesn’t feel right, either way you will gain a degree of self knowledge most cisgender people lack completely and that is absolutely priceless! Plus, unlike me when I was a teen, there’s all kinds of resources and information available to you now and an entire community of people ready to help you, and unlike the women in the forums from my past, we aren’t all gloom and doom.

As for your fear of giving up masculinity, don’t let that fear lure you into the denial trap like it did me. Denial is like quicksand, once you’re in it becomes hard to get out, the more you struggle the deeper in you go and it is so very suffocating. And the thing is, you actually don’t have to give it all up. Back when I was presenting full time as woman without HRT, I felt like I had to be ultra feminine all the time, full face of make-up, dress, heels, the whole nine yards. Now that I’m 4 yrs in with HRT I don’t feel that pressure anymore and have since reclaimed certain aspects of masculinity I actually liked. I sill like presenting high femme from time to time but these days I mostly rock a soft butch aesthetic, flannel/t-shirt, jeans and the only makeup I wear daily is just a lil bit of blush. At certain point you become comfortable and realize that gender is just a sandbox to play in and experiment. Masculine and Feminine are just concepts, they aren’t real! so regardless of being cis or trans, don’t let those mere concepts box you in! Just do what feels natural and right to you!

I hope all of that was helpful to you anon, and that at the very least you walk away from this knowing you don’t have to have all of the answers about yourself right now. Now, I don't no the particulars of your situation, so I’m happy to speak with you further if you have follow up questions, just send another anon.

Best of luck to you anon, I am rooting for you!

Big hugs,

Mother Calamity

[ofmdsalt]

i do think it’s funny that the gentlebeardies who proclaim their love for the revenge crew don’t actually talk that much about or create content for the revenge crew. they don’t give a shit about the “boatful of queer poc that Izzy sold out” (LMFAO) unless they can use the crew’s diversity as some kind of moral gotcha. they care about GB because that’s the only thing that matters about the show in their eyes. and it’s so fucking unoriginal!!! just endless regurgitated post about “omg they’re soooo in love~~ and isn’t it great that love conquered all their problems~~!” it’s unoriginal derivative dreck unless they have to invent new ways to lie about how izzy deserves the death penalty.

oh anon you get me

you have no idea how much i hate the diversity of the crew being used as a literal weapon in this fandom when it comes to demonizing izzy and washing Ed and Stede of any of their wrong doings.

im frustrated by the use of the crew in season 2 only because it was so painfully obvious to me that the budget cuts really affected the ensemble. the way the Swede and Buttons were written out of the show felt rushed and like it came out of nowhere, especially as those two characters, felt the 'least' developed out of the rest of them. so giving them both this long winded set up to be written out was too clunky for me.

i miss when Frenchie was singing and strumming along on his lute. i miss when Jim was Jim, because lbr that was Vico in s2. it just felt like Jim wasn't there anymore. i can't say what happened in the writer's room at that time or what sort of material Vico was given or if it skewed more to improve, but a lot of what was established for the characters in s1 was missing for me.

the rhetoric of this being the Ed&Stede show i think did more harm than good. the assertion that the other characters are only here in service of Ed and Stede's development reduces the sense of scale and scope and also agency these characters have.

a lot of the foundational aspects of GB as a ship i think falls a bit too much into fan service. people talk about how revolutionary and groundbreaking the ship is as a cis gay couple on screen. as if it hasn't been seen before. like i didn't get the wow moment of Stede in the mermaid costume as other fans did. Stede's dream at the beginning of season 2 with him killing Izzy and then colliding with Ed in this romantic gesture of love and passion on the beach is straight up fantasy for Stede, but i think fans took the idea of Stede literally killing Izzy a bit too seriously because that is Stede's fantasy. he wanted his reunion with Ed to be simple and understandable. that it was all Izzy's fault when the reality of the situation was so much messier and complicated. like David and the writers were literally telling us that Izzy is not the enemy here because this moment on the beach was pure fantasy. and fantasies can be dangerous

and then the fans said that Izzy deserved it, should have had his second leg shot and amputated, that he deserved to die, that he's still a nuisance even in death despite the fact that he's dead. that is both a master manipulator but also a cringe fail loser incapable of doing anything right. and it's like. okay. you don't seem to understand this character either.

like a lot of the problems in this fandom have existed before and will continue to exist in other iterations. every fandom has its ship wars. every fandom has long ass call out posts about characters they don't like. but let's not pretend this is anything revolutionary

what i've noticed is that this fandom will reach a burnout period and it's probably already upon us. the constant need to be like 'we're trending!!' when all algorithms are dog shit and glitchy as hell doesn't mean anything. plus the fact that there are only two seasons, less BTS content to go around, it's all coming from the same overdrawn well and eventually it will come up empty.

it's okay to step back. it's okay to leave a fandom for a bit and come back to it years down the road. it's okay. but all of this is exhausting

[lylahammar]

(Feel the need to state this up front: I'm bisexual, afab, kinda cis but also kinda trans, nonbinary isn't the word I'd use for myself but... alas, it's the only one people recognize as a general consensus)

I've started to understand why the term sapphic is more appealing to some people, but it still really bothers me as a descriptor/category. When talking to a friend about it (she strongly prefers Sapphic as a term), I started to sus out why:

The vast majority of my initial exposure to the term was always attached to something... aesthetic? Stories or art or music, but of a specific *type*. To the point where it gained a hyperspecific meaning of a period or historical setting, "gay woman trapped in comphet marriage and needs to be saved by bold lesbian", young girls fooling around with girls with no need for commitment because everything is fleeting and nothing is permanent and choices dont matter... on their own, these are perfectly fine narrative choices and are fun to play in sometimes, but they sure start to just seem... repetitive and restrictive and borderline fetishizing. To me, it reads as a term specifying that the love women feel for other women is the only kind allowed, that it's true and pure in a way the love a woman feels for a man isnt, and that her true self can never be realized without admitting she was in love with women since the beginning and was always supposed to be. Achillean gives me the exact same vibe.

On the other hand, my friend feels the term is *less* specific, and to her it allows *more* room for people who don't identify strictly as feminine or as a lesbian, for her it just is a broad umbrella term that allows for any variation of girl-identifying-person who likes girl-identifying-people.

Ultimately, I don't think she's wrong, and I don't know that my interpretation is right. But I think I've been exposed to a.... imma call it a "hyper-aggressive romanticization" of a particular way of existing that just puts me on edge in a way that's hard to explain to people who don't feel the same way about it. I don't think there's anything wrong with romanticizing something like that it's just that... for me, who still identifies as a woman despite being om T, who is married to a cis woman, etc... it feels ironically exclusionary and fetishizing, and mostly feels fantastical and escapist, rather than grounded in anything real.

TL:DR, it feels like a book genre, not a usable term/identifier

Ohhhhh okay I see I wasn't sure if there was something actually problematic about the term that I wasn't aware of, that sounds like it's just a preference based off of the vibes of the way some people use it

honestly I prefer sapphic and achillean because the terms "wlw" and "mlm" are so clunky and hard to say and sound goofy in my brain lmao not to mention the fact that mlm has a separate negative meaning that gets mixed up a lot

and the term "lesbian" is very specific and doesn't apply to all women who are attracted to women

so like....... idk I guess it sucks that some people have given the term sapphic a bad association for some but I'm gonna keep usin it if that's the only reason why bc I don't really care about all that and if ppl know me then they'll be able to tell that I'm not being a weirdo about it lol

[transgenderpolls]

Submission Guidelines/Disclaimers

First, things to keep in mind when you submit:

there is a limit of 12 answers for polls, and on this blog one of those answers will always be 'show results,' to allow for people that the poll doesn't apply to to see without skewing data. so in reality you have a maximum of 11.

there's also an 80-character limit on the options

SO, if you go over those limits, know that I will take it into my own hands to decide which answers to omit and/or how to re-word it to fit the limit.

even otherwise, expect that the wording of your submission may be slightly altered in order to be more inclusive (when it doesn't affect the data), or because i think you missed an option that you probably meant to include, or just to make it sound less clunky. if you have an issue with any changes upon posting, i'm happy to hear you out.

tbh i may also alter it heavily if i cannot imagine for the life of me why your poll is worded/split up the way it is. like, sorry, i truly do not think that whether someone is transmasc or transneutral would affect their ability to take off a binder without taking off their shirt. if i can instantly think of a smarter way to split it up and collect more thorough data i'll do it.

depending on how many submissions i have it could be anywhere from a day to a week before you see it posted.

if your poll is addressing a very small group, don't be surprised or angry when the 'see results' poll is the biggest. that needs to be there to keep data from being skewed by anyone's curiosity.

Base Guidelines For Submitting:

poll must be related to being trans. it doesn't have to be exclusively directed at trans people, but if you want cis people to be allowed to answer, please make that clear in your submission. otherwise i'll default to it being a trans-only poll.

it CAN be directed at a specific type of trans person, such as trans men/women, non-binary people, trans lesbians, trans moc, etc - literally you can address any specific trans group you want, just make sure to say so.

it CAN relate to sex, just try to be tasteful about it.

What would make me NOT post a submission:

if it's an opinion poll about the validity of any particular type of trans person. "validity" is a moot topic and i'm not going to encourage it, and in any case i'd like the focus of this blog to be about recording experiences (real, undeniable, forever in stone) rather than opinions (always changing, meaningless)

if it's too niche and/or would just make a pointless poll. like, you guys, phalloplasty is expensive as fuck. if you wanna know info about it you're better off just finding someone who's had it and talking to them.

if it's something like "trans people: do you like pineapple on pizza?" or some other question that doesn't actually have anything to do with being trans. if you wanna send something like this, make your case for why it's relevant that the poll is directed at trans people.

if it's some other obviously offensive shit, obviously. no racism or whatnot here.

FAQ:

Who counts as trans?/Can I vote on a poll for trans people if I'm nonbinary?

We self-define here, so if you consider yourself trans, you're trans. Non-binary is definitionally under the trans umbrella - though you're not obligated to consider yourself trans if you don't relate to a trans experience.

Why isn't there an option for X?/You missed an option.

Sometimes I may genuinely miss an option, but 9 times out of 10 the lack of the option is either due to the poll limits on tumblr, or because it goes against the point of the poll. For example, if the question begins with "If you're on HRT," then "i'm not on HRT" isn't going to be an option. If the prerequisite of the poll doesn't apply to you, then what you click is "see results." If it's something a little less concrete, polls will always include some kind of "other" option anyway.

Can you make more polls for X type of trans person?

*I* make polls based off what I'm personally curious about. If you're curious about something, submit it!

Can you get rid of the 'see results' button? Or can you not include it on this particular poll? I only want X people to respond. This poll is ONLY for X people.

If a poll is on this blog, it's for everyone, questioning and simply curious people included. It's also not going to stop curious people from clicking if there's no 'see results' button. It ensures that the data doesn't get skewed, and gathering data is what polls are for. It doesn't hurt you to see a big see results bar. The data is still there. If the bar does wind up obscuring more significant data, that means the poll was addressing too small of a group to begin with. And that's NOT the end of the world. This blog is far from the only place where you can get information about other trans people's experiences.

[save-the-villainous-cat]

So, unquick question:

I know you're probably not the best person to ask since as far as I know you're cis... but you are a really cool ally (using nongendered language when writing characters).

I was wondering what you would do to show a character asking another character's pronouns in a way that doesn't feel clunky or awkward?

Like, I've encountered media with non-binary or otherwise gender-non-conforming characters, but the problem is always that they're like, "Oh they're so androgynous. They seem to switch between feminine and masculine with every step they take!"

And, like, that's not representative of all (dare I say it, most) gender-non-conforming folks, especially not me! And I spent a long time trying to be more androgynous even though it wasn't the truest expression of myself. I'm AFAB, and I identify as non-binary even though I use she/her pronouns and dress femininely, and I want to write representation nearer to that, but I'm not sure how to. Like, how do you write a complicated understanding of gender? Especially when the person isn't obviously trans/gender-non-conforming/gender queer? Unfortunately, asking someone's pronouns is not yet as common as asking their name, and I'm not sure how to bring it up in my writing:(

Any advice is appreciated!! Thank you very much, I love your writing (and the nongendered language makes me happy as a non-binary bean, even though I use she/her pronouns 🥰)

You’re right, I am definitely not the right person to ask this, so please check reblogs and comments.

I think there’s more than one question in here, so let me try to answer from my perspective as a writer, I also got a lot of help from my lovely @epiclamer who was kind enough to send actual examples (seriously baby thank you, you’re the sweetest 😭)

So, I think it really depends on what your story is about. Because there is a difference between a story with non-binary characters and a story about being non-binary.

If being non-binary is not a big theme in your story, I believe shifting a lot of the focus on a character being non-binary can seem a little distracting for the reader. Because, you know. Some people are just non-binary. Not every story with a non-binary person needs to be about gender. Like not every story about a teacher needs to be about teaching.

Some people live in a magical world and need to defeat the dragon and they just happen to be non-binary. And some people accidentally piss off the Mafia and need to save a former lover and those people just happen to be teachers.

So, if you’re not planning on writing anything related to that, I’d just let other characters figure it out.

Because, ultimately, when you’re talking to someone you’re using you. When you start talking about someone you’re using he/she/they.

So, I think that’s why it might come off a little strange to approach someone and ask “what are your pronouns?” Personally, I’d ask someone else about a person’s pronouns. And you can incorporate that into your writing! Maybe a character tries to whisper to a friend of the non-binary character “Yo, dude. What’re your friend’s pronouns??” And your character overhears them and answers: “I use she and they. But you can also call me your sweetheart.” With a wink of course.

Or something like:

“Wait, I just heard someone say ‘they broke into the mansion.’ Who the fuck are we talking about?”

“Me,” she said.

“Oh. Ohh.”

And I would leave it at that.

However, when the main theme of your story is about being non-binary and how to find your own identity etc., being non-binary will obviously need to be discussed more often and it will have to be the source of conflict.

By that, I don’t necessarily mean fighting. It can be a conflict for the non-binary person themselves; they’re questioning themselves, they’re trying to find the right label for themselves, they choose wrong, they decide on something else, they get slowly more comfortable yada yada yada.

The thing is, most people who are cis will have no knowledge about non-binary people. They probably will never really understand it either. I think that doesn’t have to be rooted in ignorance or being an evil person, I just think most people never really felt the need to question their own gender (or they don’t dare lol).

And I believe writing a clueless person learning something new or making a mistake and being corrected can be used in a very comedic way or simply to show the characteristics of that and other characters.

Here are some lovely examples my dear husband wrote:

[gaypolls]

Submission Guidelines/Disclaimers

First, things to keep in mind when you submit:

there is a limit of 12 answers for polls, and on this blog one of those answers will always be 'show results,' to allow for people that the poll doesn't apply to to see without skewing data. so in reality you have a maximum of 11.

there's also an 80-character limit on the options

SO, if you go over those limits, know that I will take it into my own hands to decide which answers to omit and/or how to re-word it to fit the limit.

even otherwise, expect that the wording of your submission may be slightly altered in order to be more inclusive (when it doesn't affect the data), or because i think you missed an option that you probably meant to include, or just to make it sound less clunky. if you have an issue with any changes upon posting, i'm happy to hear you out.

currently there is no wait time, but if things go as expected, soon enough it'll likely be about a 4-5 day wait between the time you submit and the time it gets posted

if your poll is addressing a very small group, don't be surprised or angry when the 'see results' poll is the biggest. that needs to be there to keep data from being skewed by anyone's curiosity.

Base Guidelines For Submitting:

poll must be related to gayness in some way. it doesn't have to be directed exclusively at gay people, but it should center same-gender attraction. if you have a poll in mind to direct specifically at bisexuals, there's @mspecpolls

it CAN be a general LGBT poll, but if it's specific to something that has nothing to do with gay attraction, you're better off submitting to another blog. there's @transgenderpolls for trans stuff and @aspecpolls for ace/aro stuff.

it CAN be directed at a specific type of gay person, such as gay men, lesbians, specifically trans lesbians, nonbinary mlm, gay poc, disabled wlw, etc - literally you can address any specific gay group you want, just make sure to say so.

...this DOES include 'cis gay men/women/people' but tbqh you're gonna have to provide a good reason to be excluding trans people from the poll

in general if you want to explicitly exclude people who have a nonconforming relationship with gender, you better explicitly say so AND have a good reason. otherwise it'll be assumed that all sorts are included and if your options don't reflect that, i will change them or reject the poll.

it CAN relate to sex (i expect many polls here will be), just try to be tasteful about it. like, as long as it sounds like you're trying to collect data rather than arouse people lol

What would make me NOT post a submission:

as mentioned previously, if it's excluding subgroups without a good reason

if it's an opinion poll about the validity of any particular type of gay person. "validity" is a moot topic and i'm not going to encourage it, and in any case i'd like the focus of this blog to be about recording experiences (real, undeniable, forever in stone) rather than opinions (always changing, meaningless)

pride discourse polls, lol

anything that tries to pit issues against each other. no "which intercommunity issue is more important to you? ableism? racism?" like cmon

if it's just way too niche and would make a pointless poll. if a poll is "who's your favorite lgbt character" and then you've got 11 options from different TV shows, you gotta know that most of the ppl who see that poll will NOT have seen ALL those shows, so they'll really just be voting for the show that they know. it's just dumb.

if it's something like "gay people: do you like pineapple on pizza?" or some other question that doesn't actually have anything to do with being gay. if you wanna send something like this, make your case for why it's relevant that the poll is directed at gay people.

if it's some other obviously offensive shit, obviously. no racism or whatnot here.

FAQ:

Who counts as gay?

Like most of these guidelines I'll continue the same sentiment from the trans polls blog: We self-define here. But I will stress answering in good faith and understanding what any given poll is asking and what definitions they're using. If you're, say, nonbinary and bisexual in a way that makes all your attraction gay, or you're gay in a very specific way (like nb4nb), or you call yourself gay bc you're mostly gay but you're technically bisexual, or you're definitely homosexual but don't actually like to call yourself gay, etc, it'll likely just depend on the poll. It's totally up to you to decide if it includes you or not, or you can always ask if you want to be sure.

Though if it's not explicitly stated that the poll excludes transmasc lesbians or transfem gays, or other trans/nonbinary gay people, you should still for sure assume it includes you.

Why isn't there an option for X?/You missed an option.

Sometimes I may genuinely miss an option, but 9 times out of 10 the lack of the option is either due to the poll limits on tumblr, or because it goes against the point of the poll. For example, if the question begins with "If you're in a relationship," then "i'm not in a relationship" isn't going to be an option. If the prerequisite of the poll doesn't apply to you, then what you click is "see results." If it's something a little less concrete, polls will usually include some kind of "other" option anyway.

Can you make more polls for X type of gay person?

*I* make polls based off what I'm personally curious about. If you're curious about something, submit it!

Do you know that some people are gay in very unconventional ways that your polls aren't accounting for?

Yes, I know. When there's room on the poll, I try to be inclusive, but often there's not, and that's really the main thing there. However, I will admit that a secondary reason is that when a poll is addressing exclusively gay people, the fact that they're only attracted to one gender is relevant, regardless of whether or not it would still be gay of them to be attracted to more.

Can you get rid of the 'see results' button? Or can you not include it on this particular poll? I only want X people to respond. This poll is ONLY for X people.

If a poll is on this blog, it's for everyone, questioning and simply curious people included. It's also not going to stop curious people from clicking if there's no 'see results' button. It ensures that the data doesn't get skewed, and gathering data is what polls are for. It doesn't hurt you to see a big see results bar. The data is still there. If the bar does wind up obscuring more significant data, that means the poll was addressing too small of a group to begin with. And that's NOT the end of the world. This blog is far from the only place where you can get information about other gay people's experiences.

[theonevoice]

Warning: Ineffable tragedy ahead

I was fidgeting with the possible implication of this post by @aduckwithears and this post by @newfangledfancy because there was something in this sword discussion that hooked my little fanart brain. But as I was mentally sketching ideas I'm afraid I managed to grasp the mental image that was vaguely floating in the back of my mind since the beginning of this sword detail speculation.

It was Gaetano Previati's painting inspired by the episode of Paolo and Francesca in the Canto V of the Divine comedy.

Paolo e Francesca, Gaetano Previati, ca 1887.

If you don't know the episode, it tells the story (an actual historical episode that, at the time, caused such an outcry that some historians compare it to the public reaction that followed Lady Diana's death in the 90s) of a married woman who secretly falls in love with his husband's brother, who secretly loves her back, and for a while they manage to bury their passion, mainly by denying it and not acknowledging it even with themselves. They suppress their feelings so violently that they become dangerously unaware of them, and one day, while they were alone together "without any suspicion" (of their possible fall, so sure they were to have canceled their mutual attraction - but of course it's telling that they chose to spent time together, away from anyone else), they start reading a book about, of all things, the legend of King Arthur, and when they come to the part of Lancelot kissing Guinevere, they are suddenly overwhelmed by their feelings and kiss (here it's were I remind you of the two little figures, one black and one white, kissing in the theater during the title sequence of s2: passion ignited by fiction, be it a novel by Jane Austen or a Richard Curtis movie). And right away they are surprised by her husband, who kills them both with a single stroke of his sword.

This is how Dante tells the story (Francesca is speaking here, and the most relevant part of Dante's retelling is that she and Paolo are depicted as "one character split in two" - I don't need to explain how this is linked to our ineffable husbands) [tentative english translation below]:

"Amor, ch'al cor gentil ratto s'apprende, prese costui de la bella persona che mi fu tolta; e 'l modo ancor m'offende.

Amor, ch’a nullo amato amar perdona, mi prese del costui piacer sì forte, che, come vedi, ancor non m’abbandona.

Amor condusse noi ad una morte. Caina attende chi a vita ci spense. [...]

Noi leggiavamo un giorno per diletto di Lancialotto come amor lo strinse; soli eravamo e sanza alcun sospetto.

Per più fïate li occhi ci sospinse quella lettura, e scolorocci il viso; ma solo un punto fu quel che ci vinse.

Quando leggemmo il disïato riso esser basciato da cotanto amante, questi, che mai da me non fia diviso,

la bocca mi basciò tutto tremante. Galeotto fu ’l libro e chi lo scrisse: quel giorno più non vi leggemmo avante."

Love, that quickly seizes the gentle heart, enthralled him with the beautiful person (1) that was taken from me, and the way (2) still insults me.

Love, that forgives no beloved from loving back, enthralled me with his pleasure (3) so strongly, that, as you see, it still doesn't leave me;

Love brought us to one death; ⁠Caïna (4) awaits him who quenched us from life. [...]

We were reading one day, as a pastime, about Lancelot, and how love seized him; we were alone and without any suspicion (5).

Many times that reading made us raise our eyes, and turned us pale, but only one point was able to overcome us.

Whene we read of the desired smile being kissed by such a lover, this one, who never from me shall be divided,

kissed my mouth all trembling. ⁠Galeotto (6) was the book and he who wrote it. ⁠That day we did not read it any farther.

[sorry if it sounds clunky, I tried to translate the words in a way that conveys also the most widly accepted interpretation of certain passages, but it's still an allegorical poem from the XIII century... here's some notes to clarify a couple of points:

(1) "beautiful person": to be intended as both body and soul.

(2) "and the way": meaning the way in which they were murdered.

(3) "his pleasure": meaning the pleasure of being loved by him.

(4) "⁠Caïna": one of the 4 regions that form the deepest circle of hell, where traitors are punished (the Caina is the place where traitors of their own family are held, named after Cain).

(5) "without any suspicion": meaning they were so sure to be able to control their feelings that they did not "suspect" themselves of giving in to their passion.

(6) "Galeotto": the Italian name of Galehaut, a knight of the Table Round who is responsible for arranging the secret meeting of Lancelot and Guinevere.]

[autobot-ratchet]

earthspark episode 9+10!

hfgdjs I love how they've been building up ghost as this super skeevy morally grey organization that's using the autobots to further their anti-con agenda but they're all just cringefail losers, including that one dude from earlier who was hunting Twitch

"it's been 30 years! well, 15 for you." okay so I'm completely justified in feeling weird about everyone being so cool with Megatron lmfAO he was absolutely doing decepticon shit on earth within recent memory

THE BUMBLEBEE SUIT........

I love how we're slowly but surely playing with the idea of gender-swapping more and more bots (in particular, swapping from male to female since yknow. there's like 1000 male bots and like maybe 20 females if you really scrape for the obscure ones lmfAO)

I barely have anything to say about this scene, this is just some good, good action lmAO

as much as I poke fun at Dr. Mandroid, I am immediately interested in his villainous angle here, especially in tandem with ghost's deal and Optimus and Megatron's moral dilemma, I'm seeing the overarching themes, I am the noticer

fhdsjak come on Op you gotta pinky-swear

aw I'm glad Optimus arranged things so that he can still go with the Terrans, I was fully prepared for him to have to be like "eermmm sorry, I know I pinky-swore, but actually I gotta go do ghost things you know how it is." also more Megatron-Dorothy time hell yes I'm so ready

oh I LOOOOOOOOVE how Dorothy holds onto Megatron's leg as he walks, like it's a practiced motion they've done a thousand times oughgjdsfgu I forgot how much I love human/bot relationships my fucking neurons are ACTIVATED

oh shit these spider droid things can do it all

GET HIS ASS DOROTHY

ooh tell me the LORE mandroid, he hates literally all parties involved and I wanna know why, spill the teeeeaaaaaa

there's that spidery symbol again (edit: I was playing Earth Wars and saw that symbol again in that game, it's Quintus Prime's crest lmAO I kinda thought it was gonna be Tarantulas-related since I know his ass is in this show somewhere)

"go ahead, kids, you got the touch." and the fuckin synth music kicking in shut uuuUUUPPP

the ember stone, huh? I did call it a matrix rock before but it looks absolutely nothing like the matrix lmAO so yeah that's fair that it's an entirely different object

I love that they wrote Alex to just. have transformers as a special interest, I love how it works in both canon and meta, I love transformers lore lmAO

once again crossing my fingers and praying for the cyber sleeves to equip the human children with weapons to protect themselves

uhhhgfhdsj I'll come back and edit this post with what the cybertronian writing says later, I wanna watch right now lmAO besides I'm willing to bet it says the same thing the wall did, "in times of need, help shall rise to your call," that fits for this situation (edit: it does not lmfAO it says "Evolution of hope.")

OH NEW GUYS, THAT ONE'S NIGHTSHADE RIGHT THAT'S MY FELLOW THEY/THEM USER HIIIIIIII

oh shit they actually caused a cave-in

happy birthday kids, now escape mortal peril lmAO

oh of course Nightshade's a little fruity with it lmfAO also I gotta say, I'm pleasantly surprised by the masculine voice, usually when an agender individual shows up in a piece of mainstream media, they're very clearly feminine/afab since the general cis population thinks that agender people are just weird and quirky women and have a hard time grasping the concept of amab folks being anything other than Male so I'm happy to see this

I love that everyone else in the show also just calls this dude Mandroid lmfAO like even during serious scenes, they're not even dunking on him like I am, he really did just fuck up his introduction forever

"he or she just doesn't fit who I am" oh it warms my heart to hear that in a mainstream transformers cartoon aaaAAAAAHHHH..... and I was afraid they'd handle that in a really clunky way, especially when I heard that a character literally says the words "Nightshade's pronouns are they/them" in the script, but that felt natural enough in its canon context. also I do feel a tiny bit of vindictive glee at them specifically saying "he or she" is not correct, cannot TELL you how many times I've seen people use "he or she" to refer to a group of people when "they" would've worked just fine, just REALLY letting me know you think there's only two options

ohhh hearing Optimus prime respect someone's they/them pronouns has my heart soaring lmAO it feels like my veins are filled with liquid sunshine, feels good feels right feels organic!!! literally every time I start doubting my gender and thinking I should just go back to presenting as cis, I hear someone refer to someone else with they/them pronouns just casually like it's not even an issue and the gender euphoria goes DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!!! and like truly what choice do I have but to be more of a they/them than ever lmAO

I said it before but I love how involved Dorothy is with the action in this show. It always made me happy that June got to be part of the team in transformers prime but she was a doctor, not a fighter. I am specifically glad that Dorothy is fucking shit up in this cartoon lmAO it rules

ooh interesting, his base moves??? or is it invisible, I know he's got that kind of tech

aww Alex...

omgdhfasjk the seven billion text messages...

I am a fucking sucker, that whole "the color purple" thing got me good lmAO

fghsdjksa good fake accent, Hashtag

DFGADHJSFDGHDJSF THE SPARKLY ANIME YURI FLASHBACK..... purple is apparently also the color of lesbian airplanes, first Slipstream now Skywarp lmfAO

this man's lips are so fucking dry y'all gotta stop zooming in on them

OH THE BASE DOES IN FACT JUST FUCKING MOVE LMAO

oh hell yeah, love the heart-shaped explosions while they kiss lmAO

oh my god Mandroid really does have history and beef with EVERYONE, how the FUCK does he know Alex???

Twitch is just collecting dads like it's a hobby

ooh shit we got spilled energon

girl you better know what the fuck you're doing, I actually like you you better not die

YEAAAHHHH FUCK HIS WHOLE DAY UP

"is every day like this for you?" FOR REAL LIKE Y'ALL HAVE BEEN ALIVE FOR HALF A DAY AND ALREADY YOU'VE SEEN ALL THIS SHIT

aww I'm glad Optimus finally got a dub, he's been getting yelled at this whole dang show and now we finally got some tangible progress on the kind of thing he's trying to achieve, good for him, good for everybody

[nyotaslove]

messy(!!) gender, language, etc. thoughts ->

I want to keep track of what's going on in non-English/specifically Spanish queer circles in terms of language. I honestly do not feel, at times, like I have any stake in any of the 'slur' discourse that goes on in this site. It's not really tied to me. When I was growing up, the slur I heard most often was maricon. I am only 'out' to people I trust, and am often (not always) straight-cis passing, so my encounters with much of these words has largely been not-negative-to-me (I hope this makes sense). Sometimes other classmates would fling about 'that's so gay' in a pejorative tone, but the one I heard adults shout about both at home or across the street, or be worried their children would be turning into, is maricon. I don't think it's entered the English language/queer circles like 'taxi' or 'mano a mano' has. I'm very curious if it ever does, and what it will be made of it.

I've heard of someone taking on maricon as a third-person pronoun/identity. I thought it was so interesting. This thing I've only ever seen people run from, before. I want to learn more.

It was also interesting when, on online, I think I saw some monolingual English speakers decide a name like 'Charles Elizabeth' or 'Victorian Benjamin', etc. were 'more' genderqueer and a new innovation. (How do you measure that?) That struck me as very funny because Jose Maria and Maria Jose (forgive me for not adding accents in this moment; I will return and do so) are very common. It's the name of Jesus' parents, Joseph and Mary, in the Spanish-language Bible. This revolutionary English moment is very old and common across several nations and generations of the Spanish speaking world. I've also met cis-straight French people with these names, and am curious if this can also be true in Portuguese speaking countries. I wonder how many other things I'm missing because I do not speak these languages.

It also reminds me of how the endings -a/-o making this feminine/masculine in Spanish. Juana/Juan, Omara/Omar, etc. Sometimes, I encounter people whose names are not used in English/Spanish, and it is the first time I am encountering this name, and they are men with their name ending in '-a' that would lead me to think they are women in Spanish. But their names will be very traditional and masculine for their country. Normative. I do not know their languages' rules, history, and can only be grateful there are more ways to be than I knew of as a child.

Further, I think of pronoun usage in English. This can be brought about in speech, most easily by saying, "I am a woman, I use she/her pronouns, etc." or "I work as an actress"[occupation with gendered ending people can opt-into]. Or, smoothly, in third person: "She is my friend, and an actress." I feel like the first option is clunky when self-introducing, the second natural, and the third option, someone else speaking of you, very nice -- only the first half of that sentence is necessary to highlight the correct pronoun. The second option is not available for many jobs -- doctor, lawyer, teacher, cashier. (As a note, I think the first option can be strong and there is value in being disruptive in language patterns).

But in Spanish, the amount of occupations where your identity is gendered is overwhelming: doctor/a, abogado/a, profesor/a, cajero/a. You constantly make a choice, and the choice can make it easier if you are self-identifying your gender to others: "Estoy aburrido/a, soy un/a bien trabajdor/a, trabajo como un/a boxeador/a." It's hard to speak in Spanish without running into a gendered choice. It makes it easier for people to know, if you exist in the binary, which binary choice you are making. This is not true for every state of being/occupation, such as being an artist. But these gender-identifying options are even open to some emotions (ie there is a word for being bored or angry or tired in both a masculine and feminine way; but not sad or hungry or happy). Even to the extent and idea of 'we' -- nosotros (all masculine or mixed group) or nosotras (all feminine group). 'We' as a group are gendered. But then what if you exist without it?

Some nonbinary people who exist in both Spanish and English words find refuge in English for this reason. Others, purposefully switch between both. En este momento, estoy aburrida, pero generalmente, trabajo como camarero por el dia y tutora de pintura por los tardes. In this moment, I am bored, but I generally work as a waiter in the day time and a tutor of painting in the afternoons -- waiter is the only gendered word here [masculine], while in the Spanish I am bored in a feminine way, a waiter in a masculine way, and a tutor in a feminine way. Would you want these options? Can you have these options -- some people will think you are confused, and gently correct you, if Spanish is not your first language.

Others use the ending -e, adjusting the -o/a, when possible, for gendered words. Others use only their names as a pronoun, when friends speak of them, to erase any ellos/as when speaking of them. These friends carry their names with love in their mouths. Even the word friend, amigo/a, is gendered, making it hard to speak of my nonbinary friends to family; I find new/old words, like amistad, which is non-gendered word for both friend AND friendship. My friend/friendship.

I like using it/its in English. This is not possible in Spanish -- its it/its are the gendered el/la. I like English it/its, because it feels like an option to blend in with the world, like a camouflage. But the Spanish-language world--our plants, drinks, sun, sidewalk--is also built of it/its, only every aspect of it is gendered. Why does this feel so different? A masculine and feminine thing of difference. I do not know; I am curious what others think of this; I have not (knowingly) met any other Spanish-speaking people who use it/its.

I want to learn more about this, about our ways of being, both traditional and new. I think there are some ways we are missing each other. This was very messy, but I am sincerely curious to learn more.

[onlineanonymity]

If anybody could help me out with gender, I'd appreciate it!

So, I've been thinking about gender lately, and my views on it, and I can't tell if I'm some sort of non-binary or cis? I'm just really confused.

I've been semi-obsessed with breasts for a while. I used to make myself "have breasts" at age 5. I got really into looking for well-fitting bras/other support garments, etc. I've tried sewing different garments like these for fun. However, I keep thinking about my breasts, and I really don't like having them. I sometimes feel like I want to chop them off, wearing modern bras doesn't make me feel good, and they just feel wrong.

However (and this is part of the confusion), I don't want to get rid of them entirely. I would ideally just like smaller breasts, but idk if that's just because of all the issues I have with them being so big (I'm 32GG for reference).

I'm fine with other feminine parts to my body, such as hips, face, hair, etc. I like wearing all sorts of spinny dresses because that's fun, and my hips make me feel really good in them. But my breasts always seem too big.

That's just one part of the equation.

The second is I think I feel uncomfortable with being called a woman or girl, and my feminine name. I wouldn't want to be called "he" or even "they" as a guess at my gender because that just seems like that person would be weird for looking at me and thinking that fits best, so "she" fits there, but idk if it's comfy?

I like my name, generally, it just feels clunky? I've come up with some more gender-neutral/semi-masculine name options that are similar, and those make me feel really happy, but idk if that's just because I'm having fun thinking about renaming myself, rather than getting a less feminine name.

Overall, if anyone could tell me something like "this sounds similar to me and I'm _" or "that doesn't sound very _", or even things and labels to look up I would greatly appreciate it!

Also, idk if it'll help, but a while ago I tried to learn how to sound like a man for fun, and made a binder for myself, again for fun, but those might have different implications now that I'm questioning it all?

[calronhunt]

can u tell me the new lore of blood brings dawn?

A lot of it's stayed the same honestly lol! The basic premise is the same. Raphael's a prince of hell, Lionel's a paladin for a Sun God, that all stayed the same! A lot of characters have changed and a lot of plot stuff has but the basics are still relatively the same! I'm just gonna. do a bullet list cause that'll be easier for me to do.

Raphael has only 3 older brothers instead of 6! He's only got Gabriel, Cassiel, and Michael now! This is primarily bc keeping track of them and giving them all a little bit to play in the plot was too much and also i didn't even do anything with there being 7 of them. didn't even assign them a deadly sin or anything smh

Raphael is about the same otherwise. He's half human-half demon, he's the youngest child, he got abused so fucking much, he's traumatized to shit. Love him.

All of the "who will get the crown" drama of the original is gone. I simply found it boring and a bit too clunky and juvenile to work

Jett (Raphael's bf at the start of the story) is now a human! Also a very recent change but he's also a little loser abusive boy now. pathetic.

dying gives you a penis that one's important

The Sun God is a woman now (Not trans. I just changed her gender to be a cis woman). this is to give Lionel mommy issues too. it's only fair.

Ariel and Theo (Raphael's mothers) 's relationship sucks so bad and they need to get a fucking divorce

Lionel is also trans now bc I said so. and also maybe has OCD. Basically everything else about his backstory is the same though!

A lot of the stuff regarding god-hood and ascending if anyone even remembers that got changed but i will keep that a secret cause it's BIG SPOILERS

Sigthy (Raphael's father) got a big revamp too. He's like. so much more bonkers yonkers now and I love him.

Magic is way more simplified. basically if you're a descendant of a kid of the Sun God you can do 1 kind of elemental magic. that's it. Demons can create glamours using little crystals but that's it for them too. It's not that important. just know that Ericka can shoot fire out of her mouth if she wants.

[chronicallyblogged]

what book(s) are you currently reading and what do you think of them??

I'm currently reading a couple and about to start 2 more.

First is "The Poison Garden" which is a fantastic read about a girl who has the power to grow plants and the mystery behind her family. Very much reminds me of Poison Ivys powers.

I'm also reading "the vagina book". It's a decent general health and sex education book. They try to use gender inclusive language though it's a little clunky and you can tell it's written by well meaning cis people. The only oddity I found about the book is their is no anatomical drawings which is strange for an education book.

I'm about to read "Can't spell treason without Tea". I dont know much about this book but it's supposed to be very cozy.

Then lastly I just got Jack frost, rise of the gaurdians. Which is a book I've wanted to read every since I saw the movie years ago.

[handicappedbuenchico]

Five Characters, Five Tags

Andy Barclay (Child's Play series)

The original Child's Play from 1988 was my first horror movie that I watched as a wee child at 8 years old. It was my introduction to the 80's slasher genre, and bred my love for old school horror movies. This very blog wouldn't exist without me seeing this movie, in fact. Enough gushing about the original movie though, you came to hear about why Andy Barclay is here. I immediately loved Andy Barclay because Andy was like ME at that age. He played with dolls, he was the pinnacle of childhood innocence and wonder, he lived in a big city and had a mother who was struggling to make ends meet WHILE STILL TRYING HER BEST TO MAKE HIM HAPPY FOR HIS BIRTHDAY!! Hell I even looked like Andy at that age, except I'm a girl and I was chubbier. Nowadays I just feel so fucking bad for Andy. It genuinely pained me to witness just how paranoid and (admittedly) obsessed he had become, how much of his normalcy and innocence he lost, despite knowing it was all Chucky's doing. Now I just wanna wrap Andy up in a blanket and make him feel safe from that possessed hunk of plastic. I think it's safe to say that Andy Barclay will always have a place in my heart, no matter what. Andy can be my friend to the end, Hidey Ho!

2. Carlos Rodriguez (Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare)

Now, what can I say about Carlos that I haven't said already? I don't really think there truly is anything new I can add, so I guess I'm gonna be redundant! Carlos has been a big comfort character for me ever since I was in late elementary school. Yes I'm aware I said I first watched Freddy's Dead in middle school, but my sense of time is clearly non-existent because I first watched it in the 6th grade, however I did rewatch Freddy's dead for the second time in middle school. That's probably what my brain has been remembering all this time. I also used to look up every little bit of info on Carlos I could on my grandma's old dinosaur computer, like I'm talking the ones that were big and clunky and had their own separate computer towers, and on DIAL-UP INTERNET. I guess you could say I was THAT hyper-fixated on Freddy's Dead content. Another fun fact, I used to think that Carlos was so fashionable lmao. Like, I wanted to have Carlos's wardrobe because I thought that having a hoodie under a jean jacket on top of a black muscle shirt was peak fashion. He's also the reason I wanted to own only Converse for the longest time.

3. Spencer Lewis (Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare)

(Small Disclaimer: I'm gonna be using he/him pronouns for Spencer here because he is canonically a cis male. Also, I will only be referencing my Spencer's got ADHD headcanon for him here because it is relevant). Oh Spencer. Spencer, Spencer, Spencer. Where do I even begin with you? Well, let me first establish that, like Carlos, Spencer has also been a character that my brain refuses to let go of since late elementary - early middle school. Spencer didn't really join my comfort character roster until I was well into high school, however. See, what made Spencer join that camp was the fact that I could see my younger siblings in him, who both have ADHD. My younger brother specifically also has a hyper-fixation on video games and is an actual string bean, so he has also been my main point of reference on how I portray Spencer's ADHD, with my sister's former knack of not taking shit from bullshit authority figures leaking into the portrayal too. Did I also mention that Spencer and I both have fathers that were borderline absent/meddle in our lives when they by all accounts had no right to due to how they basically abandoned us in all the ways that counted? Yeah that's a thing too. I think Spencer has transcended the label of comfort character, and has made a home in the trauma dump character category. Holy shit Spencer I am so sorry babes.

4. Crybaby (Melanie Martinez)

Crybaby as a character was someone I could relate to on an emotional level. I was saying for many years that my dysfunctional family almost fit Dollhouse to A FUCKING TEE! I also related the song Crybaby because I too was a very emotional little girl who got made fun and taken advantage of for it. I related to all of Crybaby's failed attempts at love in songs such as Carousel, Soap, and Training Wheels. Out of all my muses, Crybaby is the most like me because I already related to her long before I would even take her up as a muse. If Spencer was my trauma dump character, then Crybaby was my trauma incarnate. She also became my sense of empowerment, because she owned her emotions and empathy, and didn't let those who refused to understand her suppress her.

5. Major Theodore "Ted" Lockwood (Creepshow 2019 Shudder series)

Finally, we have Major Theodore Lockwood, or Ted as he's mostly referred to in The Right Snuff. Ted is, at least in terms of the other characters listed here, a very recent edition to my comfort character list. Also yes, I literally mean he's a comfort character. When I was recently super stressed out over RL things I had no control over, I just popped in Creepshow season two in my DVD player and put The Right Snuff on, just to see Ted's smiling face. I felt better almost instantly. Sometimes, when it's just me alone with my thoughts, Ted's voice just pops into my head to tell me that it's okay. That my stress and my responses to it are valid and make me human... Ted is easily my emotional support fictional character. Beyond all of that stuff, Ted Lockwood is also just my autistic experiences and traits incarnate. We're both nice to everyone, including people who probably don't deserve it. He and I both miss social cues a lot, and we can't read a room sometimes to save our damn lives (quite literally in Ted's case). We both have our own special interests, his is are centered in the sciences and mine is are centered around the arts. He and I both also have a heightened sense of empathy, like Ted could immediately tell that Alex was miffed about not being the one to meet the Gorangi, despite Alex's best attempts to hide his envy and disappointment. I tend to absorb others' emotions like a damn sponge, much to my annoyance. We both also have this strange inability to truly express anger, like neither of us really shout or get angry looks on our faces. We both just raise our voices a little and overenunciate words to get our point across. I know that it can be seen as tacky, and in certain cases disrespectful, to armchair diagnose a fictional character with a mental/physical disorder or illness, especially if said character is technically not human. However, I'm not just some neurotypical person doing it in order to dehumanize an entire group of people, I am an autistic woman who truly saw herself and her autistic traits in a fictional character that brings her legitimate comfort. It may not be officially canon, but it's canon to me and my interpretation of Ted. Plus, up until the ending, you don't really know that [SPOILER ALERT: Ted's a member of the Gorangi, the alien race he was supposed to make contact with.]

Tagged by: @trashcollected

Tagging: @depictedmorada

@kurtzbergsiblings

@scribedhorror

@popularmxnster

@depictedblue

[commodifyme]

Just listened to your crossover thxgiving debate ep w gorilla radio. It was rly fun and interesting! Tried to find greg’s tumblr, and am not sure if he deleted or if i was blocked lol. Anyway thx for takin a hard stance in the “is pan different from bi” convo, its always rly disheartening when pan ppl try to call me / other bis i kno transphobic based off their own false definition of bisexuality. I will deffo be subscribing to ur pod!

thank you for listening! greg to my knowledge has been kicked off tumblr for being incorrigible and probably breaking community guidelines so the only places to hang out with him now are in the grs/bsn discords. i can invite you to the bsn one if you want it btw!

i honestly think the pan vs bi debate is really boring, i don’t think there’s a meaningful difference i’ve ever heard defining the two terms besides ones that make blanket pejorative statements about bisexuals but besides doing some light bullying i don’t really care what people wanna call themselves since it’s barely my business. but i do think it’s patently ridiculous to declare someone transphobic and demand they use a new label for themselves, as if a new label would actually erase someone’s transphobic dating preferences if they had any. like if someone genuinely is using bisexual to indicate they wanna date cis men and women only, there’s several underlying issues there that aren’t going to go away if they change up their terminology.

i also try to avoid prescriptivist language debates because as much as using inclusive + accurate terminology is important, what’s more important to me organizing to build power for oppressed people and taking action towards that goal. language is inherently clunky and how people want to refer to themselves and others is always going to change. i don’t see it as a good use of my time to get involved in making people change up their terminology because imo, that’s usually a natural consequence of getting people on board with solidarity and building power anyway!

[zephiris]

True and real! I agree that gender binary is generally bad and in fact I wish that I could opt out of hormones completely without rapidly deteriorating my health.

That said, unfortunately having some binary sex hormones are generally necessary for long-term wellbeing and health. That meant that I had to choose between my birth guy hormones or woman-y hormones if I wanted to avoid a ton of health complications. I chose to transition to become hormonally more woman-y since switching hormones felt much more nonbinary than keeping the same ones, at least for me personally. (I also felt like I should definitely have boobs, regardless of my assigned gender at birth). However, I’m not a woman which makes the term trans woman a dysphoric self-identifier for me.

Now you might wonder, why do you ever need to talk about your hormonal transition? Well sometimes I really crave salty foods a lot or I really want a lot of cuddles or I have periods and I ideally like to qualify those lived experiences by noting my hormonal layout. Now sure, I could just say “I am an amab who now has the hormonal layout of a woman but I’m not a woman and I’m actually nonbinary. Anyway…” but that’s incredibly clunky. Instead, I like to have an easy and clear non-clinical self-identifier that signifies my hormonal transition to allow me to easily contextualize my experiences with my hormonal makeup.

I have also found that generally other people who have gone from guy hormones to woman-y hormones are generally similar to me in specific ways, and like most humans, I like to “find my tribe” so to speak. Having the short and clear label of transfem, especially within label based internet communities made it easy for me to find people that I especially vibe with. Without a short and clear label I would likely struggle to find other nonbinary amabs who hormonally transitioned to the woman-y hormones.

Side tangent: I disagree with you that the terms transfem and transmasc have to always correlate to birth sex. For example I have one nonbinary transmasc friend who is amab and the label transmasc is generally a good descriptor of them. They note that the term fits them well because they kept their amab hormones in their transition while embracing their masculine side throughout their social transition to being nonbinary. They also often feel more similar to transmascs than transfems or cis guys which means the label transmasc for them functions similar to me in finding their tribe.

For me, and for other nonbinary people I know, the terms transfem and transmasc help us find communities where we share the same hormones and smoothly communicate which hormones we have without causing dysphoria or feeling needlessly clinical.

I agree that imposing binary labels onto those who do not want them is wrong and I’m sorry that you have felt the gender binary reimposed onto you by the trans community via these labels. At the same time however, I still feel that the terms transfem and transmasc definitely have their place in the community and do not always coorelate to birth sex. Both can be true at once.

Really hate that the queer community's response to the creation of a gender trinary (girl, boy, and nonbinary, which is still not all-encompassing) was to... reinvent the binary. We just started grouping all genders into "masc/male-aligned" and "fem/female-aligned" and it's so fucking stupid. Even with the occasional allowance of "neutral/unaligned" it still maintains the binary as the standard. And then they don't let you use certain labels if you don't have the "right" gender alignment. The fuck.