#also cannot promise everything will be from the same fandom

[thelemonchild]

any fun art i make will be posted both here and on my twt, so if the watermark is a letter off its just bc i have a different handle over on twt unfortunately, but its close enough lmao

if i ever draw i always post it over there, but i will try to post other drawings on here too, art has been extremely slow as of late so i just cant promise art back to back, sorry sorry

i hope my art is enjoyed nonetheless!

[rin-fukuroi]

𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 [𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐲]

Please do not translate or publish my works without my permission.

If you want to support me and read my other works that won't be on Tumblr, you can always do it on my Boosty~

Fandom: Honkai: Star Rail

Pairings: yandere!Sunday x fem!reader

Warnings: a bit of obsession and Sunday is the obvious stalker here, but no more triggers.

▶• ılıılıılıılıılıılı. Loluet - I beg you

Note: English is not my native language, so I apologize if there are errors in the text qq

It's so mean to eavesdrop on your thoughts*, but Sunday just can't stop.

You think he's pretty cute when he gives you another gift. You think his appearance is quite attractive for your taste. You think that the smell coming from Sunday, when he accepts your grateful embrace, is so exquisite, to match a man of his position. You think you'd probably feel safe near him.

You think Sunday is a little intrusive. You think he probably has a lot of fans, because he's so handsome. You think that the attention of a man with such a high position on Penacony is burdensome, because you are clearly not his match, so why does he continue to behave as if he is in love with you? You think that you are anxious near him, even though you cannot find any explanation for this feeling that suddenly arises in his presence.

Your thoughts warm Sunday's soul, and they also wound him to a nagging pain in his chest.

He really would like to stop doing this, but he's ready to give you the whole world. Even the dreams in which you are so happy, he'll bring that to life, if you only wish. It's probably corny to mentally promise a star from the sky just for you, but Sunday's ready to make the sky itself fall at your feet if this is the price for your smile. But you don't want any of this. You don't want him.

Why?

It's really so damn hard for Sunday. Helplessness, such disgusting helplessness torments him day by day, while he listens to your voice all day long, wanting to hear what you remember about him. But, as soon as the farewell separates the two of you, such useless thoughts fill your head, in which he has no place. And it's cruel. You're so cruel, but Sunday can't be mad at you.

How pathetic he must look, covering his own face with wings to hide the way his cheeks turn red and the corners of his lips lift in a gentle smile at the mere memory of how your honey voice pronounces his name. But this is not enough. Why not color your voice with brighter colors? Maybe… Red notes that give your tone of adoration and passion? You'll want him, and you'll get him if you just call. Playful pink notes will desire him with airy tenderness. Oh, how beautifully his name will shimmer on your tongue.

«It seems like I've been on Penacony for so long… It's worth coming home»

No, no, honey. Why go back to a place where he's not?

«He's looking at me so strangely again, as if he can read my mind…»

You have a great intuition, that's commendable. Sunday admires you even when his honor as a man and family member is at stake.

«Will Sunday be upset if he finds out that I'm leaving this place soon? Probably not»

Oh, darling, where did you get such thoughts in your lovely head? You're breaking Sunday's heart. How can he let you go? Dreams will lose their magic without you, this beautiful little world will lose light without your smile, the whole universe will lose its voice without the sound of your laughter.

«I guess I should just thank him for everything»

Don't mention it. Sunday would do anything for you. Tell him to rip the heart out of his chest, and he will present you with a bloody pulsating muscle in his palm.

— Y/N, — again this charming smile adorns the already perfect face of a man when he stretches out his hand bending over your figure. — Your hair is disheveled.

He can touch your hair, right? Of course he can. He hears a voice in your head, and you want the same thing, you just can't admit it even to yourself. It's an attraction between you and him… You have to feel it the same way Sunday feels it. He'll help you again, he just need to tweak your memories a little. You'll share with him all the feelings that Sunday experienced all the time spent with you. Desire him, love him, be there for him. That's all he can ask of you. It only takes his palm to touch your cheek…

The heat penetrates into the pores, permeates the skin, flows into the veins, spreading throughout the body until it captures the mind with rainbow waves blurring the eyes. And only the image of Sunday is so clear. You look into golden eyes that meet you with piercing gaze, and you see in them so much pain, torment, from which an unpleasant bitterness knits on the tongue. And then the sweetness. A cloying but airy sweetness. Every piece of sugar that gets into your mouth melts on your tongue, and for some reason an unfamiliar taste evokes so many memories that you seemed to be cruelly deprived of, and now they have returned to you, responding with a tremor in your chest.

«Y/N… listen to my voice»

You know him. This tenderness with which a man pronounces your name is so painfully familiar.

«You're happy here next to me, Y/N»

He's right, but why do his words seem so wrong to you…

«Touch me, Y/N, put your hand on my chest and feel my heart pounding. Just like yours… Aren't we made for each other?»

Of course. Of course, you're made. You can feel it. Soft pulsations touch the fingertips, beating off a sweet melody, so lulling and causing an irresistible desire… But what do you want?

«You're mine, Y/N. And I'm yours, forever»

Exactly. And how could you forget?..

It is so warm and cozy, as if beloved hands are pressing you to your heart, rocking you to an alluring lullaby, involving you in a sweet dream. And it doesn't matter at all if this dream is viscous and sticky, like a spider's web woven just for you. He'll take care of you if you just give up.

— That's better, isn't it?

«Has Sunday always been so… beautiful?» — what kind of strange thoughts are going through your head? Of course, always. The hours spent remembering how pleasant his wings are to the touch, how soft his skin is under your fingers, how pleasant the sound of your name escaping from his lips is, flash before your eyes, like a living reminder of the truth that lurks somewhere so deep, but lying on the surface, if you only dare say it.

You love him. You love him with all your heart, so long ago and so unconditionally that you feel ashamed that you dared to doubt the perfection of his face, the very sight of which is enough to make a muscle in your chest tremble.

The man notices your slight confusion, and grins melodiously.

— I mean the hair, — long eyelashes hang over the irises, shimmering with gold, when Sunday tilts his head to one side, not taking his eyes off you and continuing to smile charmingly.

— Oh, yes … thank you, — you awkwardly look away, and your cheeks involuntarily blush. — You know, I wanted to ask you something.…

The gold is covered with an icy crust, sharp and tingling skin, over which Sunday's gaze slides while you shift from foot to foot, trying to find words.

— Can I… stay here? — you hesitantly look up at the man with an innocent look, quietly uttering the last words. — With you…

«If only he didn't say no… I won't survive this…»

Oh, you're so lovely. Charming, charming, charming.

The ice is cracking, defeated by the vibrations of your sweet voice, which appeals so imploringly to Sunday. Isn't this happiness?

The tips of elegant long gloved fingers rest on your chin, lifting your head before a kiss touches your lips. So needy, oozing with obsession and love, with insane awe, which now seem so familiar to you, as if these feelings were always somewhere nearby, but burst into your heart only now, blooming like forget-me-nots somewhere deep in your chest.

«Don't ever ask again… My love», — it was never said out loud, but you managed to hear Sunday's velvety voice shamelessly invading your consciousness while his lips greedily but slowly devour yours. And you don't mind at all.

Your thoughts, one way or another, from now on will be filled only with him.

*Sunday is a representative of the Halovian species, one of the features of which is reading the thoughts of others, however, the ability to rewrite memories and, in principle, somehow influence the consciousness of another living being is not It is one of the abilities of this species. This ability of Sunday in this work is based on a completely plausible theory that he, like his sister, are Emanators of the Aeon of Harmony, because if we recall our first meeting with Family in the World of Dreams, then we can see how Robin is doing something similar, helping us with the "side effects" of the first immersion in a dream.

[randoimago]

Headcanons of what's like to date (Ace Attorney) Phoenix Wright, Klavier Gavin, Asogi Kazuma, and Herlock Sholmes please?

What It's Like To Date Them

Fandom: Ace Attorney

Character(s): Phoenix Wright, Klavier Gavin, Asogi Kazuma, and Herlock Sholmes

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): The amount of patience S/O will need when it comes to these men istg

Asogi

He almost always has a knowing smile on his face. Like he knows something you don't. It really doesn't help if you have anxiety or if you actually are hiding something from him because he just looks like he knows. And if you ask him about it, you just get a cheeky smile and a, "Whatever do you mean?"

Will drop everything to help you with whatever you need. Even if he thinks it's a bit silly, he won't say anything, just offers his help. Of course, if you say you can do it then he won't push.

He keeps to himself mostly, not really sharing his thoughts on things. But he does check up on you quite often, wanting to make sure you're alright. It's like he's noticing things that he doesn't want to say and instead giving you the opportunity to speak up.

Herlock

Be prepared to constantly be interrupted with whatever you're doing because he needs attention. He really is like an overexcited puppy because look at what he just made! Look at this new case he got and how quickly he solved it!

Lots of sleeping alone at nights. Not because he doesn't want to lay next to you and cuddle, but because the man does NOT sleep. He's always pushing himself and working on something. Don't worry, he has strict "Okay if I take 10 minute to rest now then it gives me an extra 20 minutes for his thing--" That is if he even follows through with the resting.

There are times when you come home and he's in his depressed state. He's moping about something failing and you coming home does make him a bit better, but he really needs someone to listen to him and talk to. Even if you don't quite give him a solution, you can definitely give him ideas that help pull him out of it and suddenly he's back to being a happy puppy.

Klavier

Music is constantly playing. Usually the same genre, but now and then he switches it up for inspiration or because you ask nicely. The volume of the music also changes if he's trying to work or if you think it's too loud/soft. But music is always playing.

Likewise, get used to hearing him practicing guitar. Sometimes he's just strumming a tune that got stuck in his head, sometimes he sees you and gives a teasing smile before going into some improv for a super cheesy love song, and sometimes he is tearing his hair out because he cannot figure out how to write a certain song and it's just angry grumbling.

Despite the fact that Klavier tries to seem rather easy-going, there are moments that only you get to see where he needs you to hold him and just be there for him. Between his brother, his band, and the fact that his mentor was killed, well he needs a shoulder to lean on when the thoughts get to be too much.

Phoenix

You can expect quite a few twisted jokes from him. He'll be reading the morning paper and give a hum about someone falling to their death before he retorts, "I would've survived that fall."

Speaking of that, you become a regular at the hospital. They learn your name, give you cheery smiles, and then point you in the direction of Phoenix's room because he is so bad at avoiding being hurt. He promises you that isn't trying to be a mummy with all his bandages, but it's just his luck.

Phoenix really wishes he can have his phone on silent, but with his job that's not possible. So when you two are out on a nice date or relaxing at home, there are many times when it's interrupted by someone needing an attorney. But most of the time the interruptions are from Maya or Athena or one of the people that has pretty much become family. He does his best to be nice with telling them he's busy, but more often than not you get pulled along to whatever shenanigans they've gotten themselves into.

[positivelybeastly]

I'm just curious what the Beast and Abigail Brand relationship is like? (I haven't really read any of the x men comics until now.)

Ouaghhhhh . . . okay, so.

Full disclosure, I am a late comer to the truth of Wonderbeast, and, in fairness, I have an excuse! My trajectory for getting into Beast was reading him in X-Treme X-Men and New X-Men in the early 00s, then falling out of comics for a good long while until X-Men: First Class got me back in. When I got back home from watching the movie, the very first thing I did was go on Amazon, and type in 'X-Men comics.'

This was the very first result I got.

That is my legit Amazon purchase history right there, by the way. December 2011, verified, right there for you.

I bought the first volume, consumed it voraciously, then bought the other three volumes rapid fire. I still have them.

And this is how the Beast/Brand pipeline begins.

When we meet Hank in Astonishing X-Men, he's at a very rough place in his life, still. His best friend, Jean Grey, has recently died, he's still struggling with his anxieties and insecurities over his secondary mutation, still reeling from the psychic attack by Cassandra Nova, and, as if to rub salt in the wound, he's presented with the simplest solution to at least most of his problems.

A cure.

Because let's be real here - we can call it a mutant gift all we want, but some people have it worse than others. Beak, Glob Herman, Maggott, Dummy, Forget-Me-Not, Beast - these people have powers that suck exponentially more than Storm or Cyclops or Emma Frost. They just do. And I am well aware of the fact that this is a nuanced discussion, that Scott has to wear his glasses/visor, and that Ororo has to maintain control over her emotions so that she doesn't wreck the weather systems, I get that. I know that.

But.

It always hits me, the fact that Logan cannot respond to Hank's point specifically. He cannot argue that Hank's X-gene specifically makes him dangerous, because to do so would be fucking insulting - all he can do is blow it out to a macro level, and make it about Hank's status as an X-Man, about the fact that an X-Man admitting that some mutants just want to be cured and all that implies would be a massive blow to everything they represent.

And that is a point, one that has to be weighed up, but you can't act like this isn't literally dehumanising for Hank. Logan literally says he's not a human being, he's an X-Man - his duty outweighs his right to peace of mind and humanity.

Also, no, I don't care that Hank 'did this to himself.' Hank turned himself blue and furry, yes, and he made his peace with that.

But he did NOT choose to mutate into a feline monster with less fingers, new predatory instincts, less humanity. This is a nuance that is almost always lost in this conversation - Sage made this choice for him, and that will always colour this stage of Hank's life. It's very well likely that he might've chosen to go ahead with the mutation anyway, to save his life, but it doesn't matter because he never got the chance.

Treating Hank's different mutations as broadly the same, despite the fact that they are eminently different and they make him feel differently, is one of the many nuances that is often lost by both writers and the fandom at large, and it makes him a less complex character as a result. It is important that classic Hank would not have chosen to cure himself, but feline Hank would. That is important.

This probably seems like I'm getting off track, but I promise you I'm not. This is all vital context for this relationship.

So, the cure is destroyed, although Hank has one sample of it sitting in his lab by the end of the story.

Now, by this point, Abigail Brand has entered the story. She is, to put it bluntly, an asshole - Nick Fury with less warmth.

It's also vitally important that you know that Hank and Abigail's literal first interaction is him making fun of her. I'm not kidding.

So, we fast forward a little bit, and Cassandra Nova comes back, and. Well.

Hank's literal stated worse fear. Thanks for the second dose of trauma, Nova! Really love that!

This is also very important to their relationship. Swear down. Hank is, unfortunately, an unwilling cannibal, and it's all continuing his increasing alienation and isolation and dehumanisation. For someone who is, I would say, best characterised as a humanist, to become, if you'll forgive the ghoulish joke, a humanitarian, is ego shattering.

Anyway, Hank and Abigail begin to interact more and more as S.W.O.R.D forcibly recruits the X-Men to help them with their problems.

And thus, a. Tension, begins to develop.

Anyway, remember how I said cannibalism would be important?

And things continue to roll along . . .

Oh my . . .

Ouuaughhhhh . . . I love heart on his sleeve Hank . . .

So, what is this all building to? Well . . .

And there it is.

Abigail Brand is a massive monsterfucker, confirmed. Love her for that.

Now, this exchange kinda reads differently now, after all the mud that Hank's been dragged through since the mid-00s, especially with X-Force and everything, but at this point in continuity, Hank was still very much one of the most moral, ethical, well regarded heroes in the entire Marvel Universe. He would often be given maxed out stats for conscience and wisdom in expanded material, people would repeatedly state that he didn't have it in him to kill, that he could be trusted to do the right thing - he was a moral counterweight.

And the fact that Abigail wants him on her side because of that? To be her professional bullshit caller? To bring her up to snuff? That speaks a lot about her, honestly. She is not just a thug. She feels. She cares. She has a sense of right and wrong, it's just distorted sometimes by the wider scale of dealing with intergalactic politics and all the attendant bullshit that goes along with them - and Hank gives her perspective. He grounds her.

And to Hank, this is a fucking brand new epoch. He's just coming off a relationship with Trish Tilby where she explicitly rejected him because his form repulsed and scared and unsettled her - and now, this woman wants him because his form is familiar to her. Because it conforms to her sense of attractive. It gives him an all new perspective. He looks like her people. What must that feel like to Hank?

Suddenly, it isn't, I'm a monster to my fellow humans, it's, to the right people, I look beautiful.

(Well, Abigail would likely not use the word beautiful, but.)

That is immensely attractive! And let's be real here - this is all kinda mercenary, to begin with. Abigail wants to fuck Hank because he's hot, and she wants to work with him because she's trying to be a better person but can't trust herself to do it properly; Hank wants to fuck Abigail because he's lonely and isolated and wants to feel wanted, and he wants to work with her because it's a chance to be a contrarian full time!!! What more could he goddamn want?! Feelings have not yet begun to enter the equation.

But that's fine, because this is fun.

And we can let things cook . . .

And it's clear that it takes a little bit. Feelings are entering the equation, but it's not impossible for things to take a backslide here and there. They don't quite completely trust each other yet. They're cute together! But they're still brittle at this stage.

Things could still break apart - except, Abigail does have a heart.

Look at that smug motherfucker.

What really seals it for me is this, though, from a later arc of Astonishing X-Men.

For someone like Abigail Brand, for whom work is everything, there is no clearer way to say 'I love you' than this. She wanted to protect Hank from the consequences of his actions. She wanted to protect him from the perversion of his work, done with good intentions but perverted for ill. She worked, for months, off the books, on things that weren't her jurisdiction, because of Hank.

There's so much that she's not saying here, but this is the EXACT SAME WOMAN who, if you scroll up, just panels ago, was saying there was NO-ONE she would not sacrifice, no enemy she would not sleep with, if it meant that Earth was safe.

The Earth . . . and Hank, apparently.

That is huge.

Also, they kinda have a kid together? Sort of?

That's Broo, Hank's protege. He happens to be around because of a whole adventure where Hank pulled the X-Men into a Brood related nightmare that ended up producing a mutant Brood with compassion and emotions and empathy.

A Brood related nightmare where Abigail was in danger. And why was she in danger?

Because she was being heroic, huh?

And then there's this . . .

Now, this is from Siege (2015), part of Battleworld, so it isn't quite 616 canon, but it's the exact same writer as S.W.O.R.D, so I have absolutely no hesitation in saying that this is exactly how Abby feels about Hank in 616 as well.

"After McCoy, she will never let herself love anything."

Ouauuhhghhhhh . . . they complete each other, quite frankly. He's the moral counterweight to her pragmatic solutions. She's the realist that reminds the optimist that the world isn't sunshine and daisies all the time. He's the bright, colourful, bounding genius, she's the insanely deadly workaholic who hates you. Enemies to lovers.

This is crack to me, friends. This is crack cocaine.

Also, I reject the idea that they're on-again, off-again. These two were locked in from S.W.O.R.D onward, and I refuse to hear otherwise.

It's incredibly clear to me that the X-Men never understood this relationship, just like how they never really understood what makes Hank tick in general, and so they just make assumptions based on what they think they know, because we're literally never shown these two in the middle of one of their supposed arguments. Every time they're on panel together, they're flirting and backing each other up, consistently, every time. Even during X-Force, Abigail is pretty much the only person that Beast treats with respect, and love, and care. They hug, which is unheard of for that version of the character.

Well. There is one other character evil Beast treats with care.

Man, X-Force #50 was all kinds of gay . . .

Anyway. If it weren't for Simon, Beast/Brand would absolutely be Hank's One True Pairing. As it is?

Hank has two paws. He can hold two hands.

[genericnam]

Asgore in Undertale gets way too much flak for being a child murderer, and I'm tired of him being forgotten by the fandom. The people who don't hate on him just forget about my poor big Mr Dad Guy!

I think that while Asgore wasn't in the right about the killings, he was reasonably justified. Like, listen to this:

Asgore's entire species was nearly wiped out in a one sided war over a POSSIBILITY, not even ONE monster had ever absorbed a soul, and yet they were still sealed away.

For anywhere from decades to CENTURIES passed and Asgore still wanted peace with humans. Then, Chara fell. Chara, the first human to interact with monsters in who knows how long, hated humanity. They fell down Mt. Ebott for "not good reasons", and Asgore took that child in. Asgore raised a human abandoned by their own kin, the same species that slaughtered his kingdom. And he still wanted peace.

It was only when Chara killed themselves to help Asgore achieve his dream, and Asriel was mercilessly slaughtered, that Asgore lost his cool. Asgore had to watch as both of his children died by the hands of humans.

Now, remember, a Boss Monster cannot age without a child, so when Asriel died, it doomed Asgore to spend the rest of eternity trapped in a mountain watching his species die out. Because also remember that when monsters lose hope, they fucking DIE. They Fall Down and enter a coma until they turn into dust.

Asgore, after watching hundreds, if not thousands of his people die and lose hope, including his own children, he finally snapped and declared war. Asgore needed seven humans to die, and then he'd be able to allow his kingdom to even just see the SUN for the first time.

Asgore came to his senses almost immediately, but it was too late, there was no turning back. The promise of seven souls gave monsters hope again! And if he stopped, a more bloodthirsty monster would try taking his seat and using it to declare a bloodier war (exactly what Undyne does to Toriel in certain Neutral Runs).

Asgore had to kill seven people to save his entire species from extinction, and even that was too much for his soft heart. He would rather die and let you go home, but he knows that isn't a real option, when it comes down to Him versus the 7th Soul, Asgore knows someone will have to die, for the sake of his people, his friends, and his family.

Asgore lost EVERYTHING, and he still wanted peace, it just... wasn't an option anymore.

[sleeplessdreamer14]

the sparrow and the butterfly

fandom: overwatch

relationship: (familial) genji shimada & sibling! reader

headcanons: years after your family falls apart, you’re given a chance to put it back together

contains: familial fluff, some angst, hurt/comfort, heavy plot

a/n: this is more of a fanfic I came up with like a month ago that I’m telling in the ‘you’ perspective. I might make a part 2 for hanzo if this gets enough notes.

˚��𖤓˖˚ childhood

as the two younger siblings of the family, you and Genji were quite close

although he wasn’t initially thrilled at the idea of being a middle child, he quickly became enamored with you

you’re kind of his favorite

and you were a pretty good motivator for him to be a bit more respectful, to set a good standard for you

you had caught him sneaking out a few times, and promised not to tell on the condition he bought you lunch the next day

Genji’s not gonna let anyone slander your name btw

some of your dearest memories were made up on the roof of Shimada castle where you guys would watch fireworks together

Genji hoped that despite being born into the yakuza, you could live your life yourself when you grew up

ִ ࣪ ☾⋆ separation

anyway, as you got older, the two of you confided in each other that neither of you wanted any part in the family’s criminal empire

this became a major problem upon the untimely death of your father and responsibilities fell to you and your brothers

you still remember how sick you felt when you could overhear your brothers fighting until everything suddenly went quiet

once torn between your longing for a different life and your duty to your family, you fled that same night and left no trace

as much as you wanted to, you knew that looking back even once would making leaving even harder than it already was

so you’ve lost your family, your home, everything

words cannot describe how scary and lonely those first couple of years were for you

but after you spent enough time mourning, you got back on your feet, took time to make peace with your loss, and built a new life for yourself

after spending a couple years on your own, you embraced your newfound freedom to make your own choices and be entirely and unapologetically yourself

this involved getting a tattoo of a butterfly on your back, a sparrow on your right arm, and an arrow on your left (among other things)

you also collected about half a dozen aliases over the years

overall, you were proud of who you had become, only wishing that your family could see you

‎‧₊˚✧ meanwhile

when Angela brought Genji back, one of his first thoughts was ‘where is (name)?’

he worried that Hanzo might have killed you too which only worsened his mental health

it felt as though the sun had disappeared from the sky

once he was able to eat again, if he ever went somewhere you would have liked, he would get a second order in tribute to you and place it in front of his own

it took a long time, but he actually told Angela and Cassidy about you

whenever he saw fireworks, he took it as a good omen that you were out there somewhere, not only living, but thriving

since he was revived, he dreaded the thought that one day he might see you again and you would no longer recognize him as your brother

˚₊⋅𓅫 reunion 𐀔 ⋅₊˚

not long after the downfall of overwatch and your family’s empire, the stars aligned and lead you to your brother

Genji could not have been ready to see you again

whether he feared never seeing you again or your reaction to his new body more was anyone’s guess

and then you embraced him and sunk in that you didn’t love him any differently than you did before

that was the most vulnerable and safe he had felt in a very long time

finding no trace of disgust or malice in your eyes as you looked at him gave Genji hope

you later explained how you each spent the last several years

Genji was heartbroken to realize you were essentially alone since that tragic night, but at the same time was so proud of how well you did on your own

when you two eventually parted ways, you made sure to stay in contact this time

Zenyatta was pleased to finally meet you and mentioned that Genji spoke of you often

upon seeing your sparrow tattoo, Genji removed his mask to quickly wipe away his tears

‎‧₊˚ 𐀔 butterflies traditionally symbolize hope, faith, and change ‎𐀔 ˚₊‧

[ca-suffit]

neilcfreak hasn't been seen in the fandom in a *long* time, so kind of fucking weird and obvious that nalyra gets a bait ask (which she knows is a bait ask) saying it *must* be bullying that caused it and listing every way neil was a good person. where tf has neilcfreak been much in the last year? besides a few months ago when she was trying to cover up for white fandom. nobody cares about u girl, nobody is rly sending these asks about u except ur own friends (or u lol).

anyway who wants neilcfreak's racist receipts :)

last year, ao3 was getting called out for never following up with their promises made in the wake of BLM 2020 to better protect users against racist harassment. neil and a black user commented on the same post, the black user replying to neil's comment u can see above of "if u don't like it make ur own site lol."

this white user (futureevilscientist) then random af pulled the asks out and tagged the black user at the start of the post to talk all this shit AT them fsr?

then later, neil shows up herself.

this is the part u cannot *cannot* say is not racist. neil is directly replying to a reblog of *someone else's main post* and placing full blame for a "call out post" on the *black* user.

she then pulls out her white jewish shit to speak over the main topic, which is racism / antiblackness.

playing oppression olympics can be done by any marginalized group but it usually works the best for white ppl because white ppl get the most sympathy when doing this (u want the most shining example, how often are we talking about white gay oppression in this fandom above racism / antiblackness, which is the *actual theme* of the show...or even gay oppression through a black pov, since u see louis experience that constantly. how much are we told that this show is rly about white gays and nothing else?). ppl assume whiteness is more innocent by default so will pile more on a black user for "being aggressive" towards a *white* jewish user without needing any proof. that's what neil was counting on here. she also then had a bizarre, loud breakdown on her account for extra assurance she'd be seen as "the real victim" (for making a stupidly racist comment in public). ohh yeah weaponize those white tears girl. she then "quit" tumblr for a while and when she came back, as mentioned in the linked post above, she had to again mention "drama" for good measure. "remember how I was bullied off this site u guys :("

white fandom was all over her dramatic distraction posts btw (nalyra commented on them too, so she is v aware this happened). v few people reached out to the black user or cared about the shit they were dealing with.

these white fandom ppl *never* have any receipts of bullying either, they just *say* it happens and flock to give hugs so it looks like lots of support is happening for a real "issue." but it's not real. everything they do is meant to manipulate u. this nalyra ask is still doing that.

when ur told what to think about someone or u can't find evidence of things happening beyond what anyone, even a group of ppl, *tells u* is happening then u need to rly remain suspicious of the reality of it.

these are asks that the black user got after this stuff happened. so now we've created a new issue from nothing and we're not talking about racism or how ur bullying a black user over literally nothing anymore. now it's suddenly all about poor neilcfreak and her white jewish identity and victimhood from a big, bad black fan. she's gotta make this all make her look like the real victim to cover up how embarrassed and stupid she felt for being called out on saying racist shit.

this is why white ppl need to understand these abusive techniques and get on ppl's ass when they pull this, not just leave it up to black and brown ppl to do. white fandom will cry all the white tears possible and claim ur talking over a white jewish person, being antisemitic. it's an attempt to emotionally manipulate u, keep talking (think of how often claims of antisemitism are used to shut down anyone being pro palestine, it's the same shit). this is racism. this is weaponizing an identity to cause harm to a black person cuz u were caught saying racist shit and want to deflect. if neilcfreak wasn't a huge racist she'd have *also* called this out and told ppl to stop doing this on her behalf. that would require her pulling her head out of her ass first tho and not sending these anons herself prbly.

I was looking for a different receipt to end on but found this instead, so let's talk about this too since we're here

here's neil after this shit went down, trying to make anne rice all kinds of marginalized identities so ppl can excuse her abusive shit too. she never said she was queer and she never identified as trans. u can't just label ppl shit because stuff they said sounds "close enough." she did enough harm as a cishet white woman can u all fuck off already with wanting to find more excuses for never wanting anyone to criticize this piece of shit.

good riddance, wretched bitch.

[davekat-sucks]

Bro vs Eridan in terms of being an awful person is tricky considering Bro was being possessed by Cal and Eridan was a 13 year who had to do Feferi dirty work his entire life so her Lusus wouldn't destroy everything. I genuinely think Bro had no choice in anything he did considering his note to Dave was something Caliborn came up with. Eridans case is a bit more complex given the circumstances of his planet, none of those things he did were ok to do but either feed the monster or have everything destroyed. He's the whole reason the trolls were alive in the first place. Considering he had to risk his life everyday for everyone else, him attempting to join Jack isn't out of the ordinary for dangerous stuff he encounters. Yea he's douchey and destroying the matriorb was dick move, but everyone on the meteor lost their minds and had or attempted to kill someone. Tavros tried and Kanaya sawed 2 people in half.

I am also on the side that Bro was possessed or mind controlled to some degree. But the fandom sees things like his strife battle with Dave as more serious because the other ones are played for laughs. Forgetting John would strike is father with a hammer and Rose threatened to commit suicide in front of her Mom. Jade's case is sadder when you remember that when Jade played with the double pistols, Tavros had used Bec to redirect the bullet to kill Grandpa English. She indirectly killed her guardian and wouldn't realize it until later on in the game. Bro's last act would be attempting to fight Jack Noir before dying. So does that mean people think Jack Noir is a HERO for killing the abuser? They forget that DAVESPRITE was present too when they both went after Jack. Bro had no reason to do anything to someone that's a brother from a different timeline. And yet, he was able to let Davesprite run away to safety and fought Jack on his own before dying.

But nobody in this nu-fandom remembers this or thinks hard about that last moment. They only care about his past actions and think it is played for straight abuse. It only applies to him and cannot be applied to other characters unless it's part of a gender arc for a character to transition. It's true Eridan would hunt lusus to help feed Feferi's. Even he admits it can be tiring to figure out when it is the proper time to hunt or not. Hinting that they can't overfeed or underfeed Gl'bgolyb. But you also can't deny he was also doing it to get closer to Feferi and be in a closer relationship with her. Which is why people label him as an incel and people flanderize that to the extreme which gave us Cronus. Then there's the line about him saying he killed marine life accidental.

If it's not sarcasm or poor flirting, it could also mean Eridan had unintentionally killed a lusus and gave it to Feferi to help feed another lusus to try and justify what he is doing is good. And overtime, he gradually accepted it and continued. Getting close to his crush Feferi would also tie in too. You know what they say about psychopaths, first sign is them killing animals. Sure the animals were parents for a troll, but they are still ANIMALS. Kanaya, Karkat, and Terezi accepted that Eridan was a piece of shit and want him to stay dead. Even if he was the reason said trolls are still around, they would never want to bring him back because of his horrid actions on the meteor. As we see when Karkat ended their friendship and Terezi talking with Vriska on who to revive back, Eridan doesn't deserve to be revived. And no mention of Equius, as being the Void player..

Nepeta may have felt Eridan had died, but it's unknown if she knew about Eridan wanting to join Jack. She wasn't even present with Aradia and others in the Vriskagram after becoming a ghost to meet up with him. Though we have yet to see Terezi and Vriska act on that promise on reviving said trolls. The reason they haven't because Terezi found out that Gamzee was trapped in the same fridge as her corpsed friends and didn't want to see him. Maybe the dead trolls will come back for Homestuck Beyond Canon, but that's just wishful thinking with how dead Nepeta jokes are still around and they only brought ghost Eridan in Epilogues for a 'redemption arc.

Eridan got what he deserved and died for his actions. But does he deserve to get brought back? How long should the punishment of his death last? To the cast and narrative, he can never be brought back to relevancy. The other reason the fandom likes Eridan recently is because of Pesterquest putting through the gender arc. Saying his seahorse dad was abusive that didn't acknowledge his gender, despite it's never shown in the webcomic he was this. And because of that, people instantly love him and ignore his past actions and stance on hemospectrum. All for the sake of making the March Eridan meme less transphobic. Nu-fans don't give a shit that he was racist, killed animals and Feferi, destroyed the Matriorb, and had killed Kanaya. All it matters is his label. Yes he is a racist asshole, but he's a NON-BINARY racist asshole. Both Bro and Eridan had done horrible things in the past. But one got more heat over the other. As one got love and attention because of a non-canon moment in a side game, despite people had hated him for those past actions. It's sort of insane about the priorities we have going on in this fandom.

[fastcardotmp3]

dot's bookshelf ⁝ JANUARY '24

december recs | recs masterlist

new year, same deal! my favorite things I read this month (not including updates to past months' recs)! trying to organize it all a bit more moving forward but don't hold me to that! my heart is full of love for fan authors but my brain is sometimes Empty mwah

Don't forget to tip your writer in kudos and comments if you read and enjoy these! it's talking to each other about the works we create that makes this fandom world go round 🩵

❄️ steddie

can't start a fire without a spark by @judasofsuburbia

6.5k | E | ex-FWB Steddie snowed into a cabin without heat and have to share a bed about it??? yeah yeah yes exactly nodding nodding etc HI. oh the sense of history and the realizing of why that history came to an end in the first place being this mutual want that they didn't realize was mutual, it's the perfect little idiots to lovers, lets get busy in front of a burning fireplace moment, you know?? yeah <3

tell me something (give me hope for the night) by @kkpwnall

7.3k | T | nothing screams the perfect steddie like losing a chance together and then finding it again years later and making that chance a reality via the decision that trying is worth it and KK has rendered that so spectacularly here. LIKE. oh we haven't seen each other in years but now we have to share a car in a storm and a hotel room with only one bed and I cannot shake that I missed my chance but still I want to give us a chance? SHUT UP. perfection.

❄️ ronance

i promise i'll take care of you if you promise to let me by @netflixnormalthings

7.1k | T | there is something so beautiful in the way this is crafted and the way we get to watch not just Nancy's restless hypervigilance in a post-Vecna world finally end up getting her hurt, but also her exhaustion in the aftermath finally allow her to welcome help. there's so much depth not just to Nancy in general but to her relationship with Barb and her grief over everything she lost that night, to the ways her burgeoning relationship with Robin is affected by all of it. I'm in love with this fic it was made specifically for ME probably!!!

❄️ chronance (chrissy/robin/nancy)

Fireplaces over Fireworks by @yxlenas

1.8k | M | a Chrissy/Robin/Nancy new years slice of life fic which left me warm as a fireplace on the inside, this is such a beautiful look into a life shared between these three women and the ways they support each other in the aftermath of all their individual hardships. like the LOVE of it all is so baked into every word and the sense of a community around them that they're able to rely on to understand them is just immaculate.

i feel so fucked (at least i’m feeling) by @starryeyedjanai

6.1k | E | more chronance i've been BLESSED this month!!! this time of the 'porn with feelings' variety which is both such the perfect lesbian vampire sex moment AND a heart-wrenching Chrissy Cunningham character study in which we get to see her reclaiming agency over her desires. I'm obsessed, I'm over the moon, I've been given everything I could ever want READ NEOW.

❄️ gen fic (Max & Steve)

Laughter's Medicine by @roguenancy

2.2k | G | it has been well documented that stories about Max getting Sibling'dTM by one of the older kids make me lose my mind and this is no exception. the study of max during this missing s4 scene, this dynamic between her and Steve as we see him be so casually emotionally intelligent in knowing how to take some of the pressure of being comforted off of her shoulders, it's all so impeccably done here and will blow you away from the JUMP actually

[mdhwrites]

In your opinion does "The Owl House" have any re-watch value? Does the story, characters, characterization, writing, etc. hold up over repeated viewings or is the show played out after the first time through the series?

So I want to acknowledge that this is actually an awkward question. Not with how you phrased it or anything just... Period? Because whether something is rewatchable will mostly come down to personal taste and enjoyment. Some people find Horror movies to be great fun to rewatch while others may not see the point because you already know all the scare moments or answers to creeping dread. Some might find action movies exciting to rewatch while others need the novelty of a first rewatch. As such, my answer is very much so is going to be biased by the fact that I ended up not liking the show.

But... I broke essentially on rewatch in a way. A lot of people have shattered on TOH essentially from having to reconcile what it says versus what it does. A lot of this because TOH constantly kicks payoffs down the line and hints at potential it will reach. It is constantly making the journey suffer for the promise of a grand finale. And, well... A lot of people have agreed that the shortening did not force their hand to break multiple themes in the finale, or take Amity's character or a bunch of other things that bloated the series and never got a proper payoff, such as the Collector.

This format of TOH I think is actually what makes it so hard to rewatch unless you are the ultimate fan of it who will notice nothing. S1 is labeled as boring, a complaint I even agree with as someone who mostly likes S1 still. It spends the most time setting up plot lines though in episodes that are a pretty safe seven out of ten, or worse. Amity episodes can escape this problem decently often, being fun in their own right, but that's why the fandom only acts like half, at best, of S1 even exists. Most of it is easily forgotten because it's very forgettable. Not like in a S1 of Amphibia way where it's all so much fun but also so much of it that they can blur and be hard to separate but just in a "I just wasted 20 minutes of my life watching an okay kids cartoon" way. The only thing that helped those episodes not feel that way was this idea that it was building towards something with these characters.

And... After the shock of things like the Lumity Kiss being real, I don't think S2 holds up for being the majority of those payoffs. Amity and Willow? One of the most explicitly kicked cans? Seen interacting on the same side before either addresses the "We're not friends' thing because of Eclipse Lake, so that's pre-shortening and they still didn't decide to address and then address it badly. Luz's magic is wrapped in a plotline she's not a part of and has no real reaction to even. It's just "Oh, we're just making bullshit up now instead of finding glyphs? K." Amity's parents are wrapped up, in the same episode, early S2, in a very similar way where Amity is barely a part of that episode but now her core angst and excuse for being a bad person? Dealt with and out of the way, at least until they randomly decide to try and say Alador TOOOOOTALLY wasn't a bad guy. That he hated Odalia too. Totally doesn't contradict literally everything that came before, something that would be much more sharply noticed on a binge rewatch. Like... It cannot be understated that by the point most plot threads in TOH wrap up, they were introduced and left to rot for so long that half the time, the fandom was starting to get UPSET during the runtime for the lack of any exploration or conclusion. Long hiatuses didn't help but at its core, even when it was running people were wondering when we would get satisfying answers to thing and rarely were they happy about it.

I think this is a core part of why ONLY the shipping community seems to have clung to TOH. That or people who are exploring the show's missed potential with characters like Belos or the Blights. The fandom has had to either commit to the one thing TOH did do well, its shipping (that comes with so many fucking asterisks) and its potential baiting. But the latter also means you have to recognize why it failed in the process of doing your exploration of the work.

So will some people enjoy rewatching it? Of course. There are people who probably like rewatching the AtLA movie though because the die hards are die hards. Do I think from a casual perspective you get much out of rewatching a random episode, let alone binging the series again?

No. I just think disappointment that the main series will leave you, which will eventually no longer be tempered by the reputation of it having been shortened, will only get worse. It is not a tale worth seeing again, so I hope I see you in the next one.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[towerartt]

Handsome Jack 8, 12 ❤️‼️

ouhhh so sorry this took me so long to answer...

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I’ll tell you if you promise not to get mad at me💔

A big chunk of the fandom wrongly views him as the Capitalism Incarnated, while he is quite obviously simply a product of the psychopathy breeding system. Jack’s psychopathy is a reaction to a crime that is uniquely capitalistic. Angel’s kidnapping is a crime of greed. He is, as every Borderlands character, uniquely traumatised by the world he was born into. Borderlands shows what capitalism does to men. Jack is not much different from the psychos/bandits of Pandora. For both, the planet is a prison. Psychos choose to assimilate, and Jack chooses to destroy it. He is the universal threat; neither the poor Pandorians nor the elite are safe from him. 

But does the distinction matter? I believe so. This affects the narrative as a whole. 

We can choose to see Jack as Capitalism, and we get to kill him, and then we all go out for milkshakes. Simple and up-lifting, and very American. But to me, Borderlands is largely pessimistic. Honest people die, the leaders are either cowardly or evil, and the oppressed are often gross, stupid, and difficult to sympathise with. And we cannot kill capitalism, so we kill a scapegoat in its place. The world of Borderlands is fixed: Jack’s death does not affect the status quo; it only frees the tyrant spot for the new, yet-to-come aggressor. This is less satisfying, isn’t it.

(Possibly I am overanalysing a silly shooter game that isn't concerned with a critique of capitalism/colonialism deeper than a simple and straightforward “It is very bad.”)

And despise is a strong word. Interpret him however you want. What I truly despise is haters going "Why are you Jack's apologist?" because he activates my maternal instincts! Next question.

+ personal nitpick. The "Is he/is he not a tragic hero" debate. Girls NONE of you are using the same definition of neither hero nor tragic. I hope a huge asteroid takes out all of us.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I have soo many so I'll just drop a few here that I haven't talked about before mkay <3

Uncharacteristically (and unsurprisingly) squeamish about burnt flesh. Nisha once brought him a scorched hand after some village burning (it looked kinda funny she thought it would make him laugh how was she suppose to know he is so goddamn sensitive) and he started gagging when she dropped it on his desk. When she gets really mad at him, she dumps some burnt remains at his apartment (she loves him dearly btw)

He journals a lot. Partially because, in his opinion, it is a very Great Leader activity, but also because Angel cannot pry into what he has written down on the pages. He knows this deeply annoys her. She can see everything, and she knows everything except for her father's thoughts. Sometimes Jack makes Angel echo him and patiently wait while he finishes his entry to really rub it in. He sometimes draws her.

I hope this is comprehensible. Part of Jack’s mythos being that he only has scars on his front, kinda like Alexander the Great, because a real hero always bravely faces his enemies. But actually, his back is a mess of scars from childhood. Wouldn’t that be fucked up?? All his fanatics are like "Erm, Jack would never ever let anybody get him from behind because he is SUPER cool and smart, and he never runs away from a fight <33" I think this would add to his inferiority complex.

Thank you for this ask💕 Ouhhh I love talking about this guy

[gegegegegesworld]

Apology to the fandom

Hello everyone, I am Panda (Potaxiepower formerly known as Kimetsunozushi69) and I want to write this post in order to own my mistakes and to apologise to the ones involved in this situation.

First of all, I am aware of my humour, which has crossed the line many times. I want to seriously apologise for the disgusting jokes that I did without any consideration of people's feelings. I want to clarify that I am not racist, I have no intention of discrimination against anyone.

I will never cross the lines ever again, and I will face the consequences of my actions which harmed many people in this fandom.

I do not expect people to forgive me, because what I said was truly unforgivable, but from now on, I will mature and I will become better.

In regards of others aspects, I want to talk about the way I treated the members involved in this situation, I am sure you all know this, but I was accused of being abusive to some members of this fandom, which I will admit that my behaviour was unacceptable, and my personal struggles and my own problems do not justify the actions that I committed against the people involved.

I admit that I was a very toxic friend, and I never knew how far my actions were until I realised that my harm to them was scarring and traumatising. I admit that my behaviour towards them is irredeemable and that not an apology can fix the consequences of my actions.

None of them truly hurt me, I was the one who was in a bad mental state and because of that I started to wrongly accuse them of things that they were not, and also badmouthing them and manipulating the situation to favour me, which after months of reflection, I realised that that was truly despicable behaviour.

I admit that I did all of this based on my own envy over them being better artists, academically brighter and better writers than me, which made me have an inferiority complex against them and because of that I was acting toxic towards them. 

Even when they supported me in my hard times, I was ungrateful and despite them showing emotional and financial support, I was not willing to recognise their efforts to be my friends, because of my ego.

I understand why this situation is happening, because I cannot escape from my actions, I do not expect the fandom to ever forgive, and I understand that, I will face the consequences of what has happened this summer time.

I am sorry for ghosting the victims of the situation after doing enough harm and not apologising genuinely because I was a coward who did not want to accept my mistakes, and I understand why the situation escalated to worse after months.

I also understand why everyone in this fandom is currently furious over this, because I escaped and deleted everything without any explanation, this time, I will face the fandom and listen to your complains, I also will leave the fandom after this in order to start a new phase of my life where in the future I will not commit the same mistakes again.

I also want to clarify that none of my old followers or friends stalked any of the members, I was not aware of them facing harassment online, I am not lying when I say that I had everyone blocked which made me not interact with their posts or be interested in what they were posting, because I didn't want to see what they were doing (because I was ghosting) and I admit that I was talking bad about them behind their backs despite me promising to them that I would not talk about them, but I did not send hate because all the frustration that I had was thrown towards my close friends who were not interested in creating conflicts.

I recently found out that they were receiving some hate regarding the call-out, I did not send anyone. I promise everyone that I was inactive online and was scared of looking at what was happening, and I was with family members and real life friends these past two days.

MeitoMela and Meerudraws are innocent, they never had any vile intentions nor any interest in engaging in discourse, and them being friends and mutuals with me does not mean that they are on my side, nor do they agree with my actions nor are they interested in engaging in this.

Thank you very much for reading this letter, and I hope that the victims of this will find peace and help, and I wish everyone the best and happy holidays.

@irithnova

@tianshiisdead

@miyuecakes

[lesenbyan]

You know. I think I like G'raha for some of the same reasons people i know dislike him but likewise in the agreement on these facts is also why I dislike fandom G'raha. 'cause like. He isn't the same character as the Exarch. the G'raha we know and travel with in EW is not the same man as the Exarch, even with his memories, and I don't mean bc he's younger. like.

okay. I was raised on way too much sci-fi, okay? I got deep in it with paradoxes and time travel and alternate and parallel realities before i was 10. I had a lose grasp on certain quantum mechanics concepts at 13. you give me a time loop and I will immediately understand two things:

every loop is an alternate universe converging off of the same single point as there can be (are, depending) near infinite universes off of every single point in space (<- this is why AUs are called AUs after all) and thus

even if it's the same face, even if it's the same name. even if it's the exact same past up until now, even if everything is perceptibly the same, and this is crucial, they are not the same person.

(I promise, I'm getting there)

This holds true, even in a closed paradox bc you now have a chicken and the egg scenario. Like we all kind of understand the grandfather paradox, we understand that if we kill our grandfather before the respective parent is conceived we couldn't have been born and thus couldn't kill him, ad nauseum. but even if you close it. Even if, say, you're your own grandfather, every loop something's going to change, even if it's not noticeable, even if it's not in your life. something is gonna change. A fundamental fact of how i understand the theory to work (granted I'm no scholar) is every time you go back in time you're not actually going back on your linear time, you're creating an alternate universe which will then be the universe you also fast forward through when you go forward in time.

That being said, the G'raha Tia that becomes the Exarch is not the G'raha Tia that we know, this is proven the fact that the G'raha Tia we know cannot go on to become the Exarch bc the Exarch did not live these post 5.3 experiences. And from there that means the Exarch also didn't come from the G'raha we knew in Crystal Tower. CT and EW G'rahas are the same. the Exarch is from a parallel reality G'raha that yanked us bc the us from his reality died before he woke up and that is how that reality will always play out and we just so happen to be from the reality he reaches into/splinters to save a future. not his future. the people of his future are far beyond his reach and have been since he traveled to the First.

And I think all of that is incredibly fascinating. Especially bc if the G'raha we know was the base of the Exarch you'd think, now that the Exarch's memories are part of him he'd act more like him. but it still doesn't sit right on his shoulders. bc it's not him. This is someone else. this is a role he can play, a mask he can slip into, a dance he knows. but it's not who he is. it's not where he's comfortable, like he was comfortable for 100 years. You see it in Thavnair, you see him steel himself for it. he sees what's happening and he knows what needs doing bc he's got the memories of managing a panicked peoples before in the middle of tragedy. But it's not him. The Exarch is a different man. And I wonder, desperately, how G'raha feels about that man.

[m1edemafc]

blog navigation!

heya, thanks for stopping by my blog! i mostly made this because interacting on ao3 is a bit of a pain sometimes, and it's easier for me to take prompts/requests/questions on tumblr.

i'm so happy to take requests, so feel free to drop any prompts or requests! i'm not inherently opposed to writing anything, but forewarning, i hate every piece of smut i've ever written so it's highly unlikely that i'll publish anything with substantial smut. not ruling it out completely but it's just ~very~ unlikely.

these are my current works, you can find them all on ao3! unless it's a headcannon, my work will only ever be published on ao3. sorry to all the tumblr fic readers out there, but i promise ao3 is fairly easy to navigate even as a guest.

masterlist:

lucy bronze/ona battle

all these people think love's for show, but i'd die for you in secret

tags: established relationship, fluff, domestic fluff, karaoke

status: work in progress, eight chapters

jana fernández/jill roord

my heart has been split open (you see everything i'm hoping)

tags: hurt/comfort, acl injury, angst, fluff

status: coming soon, one shot

keira walsh/laura feiersinger

i just want to know you better (know you better now)

tags: 5+1 things, situationship, getting together, kind of a slow burn?

status: complete, one shot

mapi león/ingrid engen

let our hearts be the only sound

tags: established relationship, proposal, fluff

status: complete, one shot

alexia putellas/jenni hermoso

you'll find that you were never not mine

series: inked on my soul

tags: alternate universe, tattoo artist jenni, footballer alexia, getting back together, jealousy 

status: complete, one shot

fc barcelona femení

bilbao is one hell of a drug

tags: uefa womens champions league, winning

status: complete, seven chapters

alessia russo/leah williamson

hearts collide, souls intertwine

series: country girls universe

tags: kid fic, forced roommates, getting together, potential slow burn (i haven't decided)

status: coming soon

the way the moonlight dances in your eyes

series: country girls universe

tags: kidfic, fluff, literally just fluff, new kit pics!!

status: one shot, complete

caroline graham hansen/marta torrejón

forever is in your eyes

tags: kid fic, post retirement, marriage, domestic fluff

status: coming soon, one shot collection

a little about me:

i'm a 23 year old gemini vegetarian from australia! i've been an arsenal fan (both women and men) for quite a while now, but recently become a barca femeni fan. obviously being australian, i am a huge huge fan of the matildas (less so a socceroos fan tho, but up the boys).

although i love football, i am the least coordinated person and have not ever played football outside of pe lessons in school. i grew up as a competitive swimmer before i quit when i was 16 and i also played a few seasons of club netball during high school (i was not that great). i mostly am a pilates girlie now, but also have decided to start running this year and am running my first 14k race in august (please cross your fingers that i make it out alive).

although i've been an avid fic reader for over a decade across quite a few fandoms, i only started writing fic this year. that mostly happened because i've been on somewhat of a sabbatical for the past few months, and am not currently in uni or working so i've finally had time to actually put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) on all the words that have been floating around in my brain.

in saying that, my self declared sabbatical will be ending in july so i cannot promise any consistency around posting. i don't mind some gentle pushing but please keep in mind i usually take a full time course load at uni, work two jobs and also have a social life, friends, family and also a whole host of health problems so sometimes my life gets a bit too out of hand and it kinda is out of my control.

i really am trying to enter my era of a healthy work-life balance though, so i'm hoping we won't reach the same level of chaos that my life previously has been.

anyways, if you have made it to this point, you are a real trooper and thanks for reading through my rambles!

:))

[middleearthpixie]

Promise Me ~ Chapter Eleven

Summary: Friends since childhood, Gabriella has long held back her feelings where Boromir is concerned, as she did not want to risk losing his friendship if he didn't feel the same. But, then he is summoned to Rivendell, and the night before he is to leave, he stuns Gabriella by confessing his feelings for her as well. 

But, war is coming and he cannot put off what he knows must be done. All Gabriella can do is wait for him and pray for his safe return. 

Fandom: The Lord of the Rings (AU, Boromir lives)

Pairing: Boromir x ofc Gabriella

Characters: Gabriella, Boromir, Aron

Warnings: none 

Rating: T

Word Count: 4.1k

Tag List: @sotwk @heilith @fizzyxcustard @evenstaredits @way-too-addicted-to-fandoms @emmyspov @finnofamerica @lathalea @ass-deep-in-demons @quiall321 @mistofstars @justfollowtheroad @guardianofrivendell @glassgulls

If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!

Previous chapters can be found here.

Gabriella managed to sit and listen as Boromir explained what had happened to him, to the Fellowship, after they left Rivendell. It wasn't easy, as he paused, sometimes for several long moments as he gathered his thoughts, and when he came to Amon Hen, and what happened with Frodo, she had to press her hands to her lips to keep from interrupting him.

His voice wavered. His eyes reddened. But he met her gaze as he said, “I tried to take it from him, and had he not used it, I’ve no doubt I’d have done whatever I needed to in order to do just that.” He tilted his head back to stare up at the ceiling, and drew in a slow, shaking breath. “And as soon as he vanished, I realized what I’d done, realized how much fear I’d put into him. He is almost literally half my size, Gabby, and a hobbit. He knew nothing of fighting or defending himself. And I knew that. I knew it and I used it to my advantage.”

“But you didn't harm him?”

He shook his head. “No. He vanished. Vanished and rightly ran off and I—I don’t know what happened to him. I don't know what became of him. I was supposed to protect him, Gabby. Supposed to keep him safe and see him to Mordor and I failed. I failed him. I failed Merry and Pippin. I failed them all. Because of my own greed, my own lust to be the one to end Sauron and restore order and protect my people. I wanted the glory of it all for myself. And look what happened.”

“Perhaps he made it to Mordor after all. I mean, Sauron’s armies were defeated here, perhaps that’s why. Perhaps he destroyed the Ring after all.”

“I have no way of knowing.” He began pacing then, walking from the front door to the ones leading to the kitchen and storeroom, the floorboards creaking with each step. “As I was going back, not to tell anyone what I’d done, but most likely to lie to them about it, I heard them and I—I knew I had to stop them.”

Her heart picked up its pace, her blood roaring through her ears as she knew what was coming next. Still, that didn't stop her from murmuring, “Stop who?”

“The orc pack that had been tracking us.” He paused his pacing as he met her stare and offered up a sheepish smile. “Had I not been trying to steal that blasted Ring for myself, I’d have been with Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli and I’d have heard them, we’d have seen them and been ready. But… it was just the two halflings and I have no idea how many orcs. And I got between them.”

Her eyes stung and her throat seized as he went on. “I never saw the first arrow. I’m not even at all certain I’d heard it. I simply felt it. Felt the burn, felt it spread and it served only to make me angrier. I ignored it. Drew my sword and swung at anything and everything in my path, and told those two fools to run. I was lost, but they—they weren’t. Not yet, anyway.”

He no longer met her eyes, but looked somewhere over her right shoulder, and her heart slammed into her ribs with such force, she wouldn’t have been surprised if a rib shattered. She knew what was coming and although she also knew how it ended, it still pained her to hear it. “Boromir…”

“I had to keep them safe, Gabby. I had to and I wasn't going to. There were so many of them… and the arrows just kept coming.” He pressed a hand to his chest, where directly beneath his tunic, the small bandage remained, and then did the same to his left thigh. “I could barely breathe and could see even less, but I held them off until I could no longer stand.”

Gabriella pressed her lips together once more, swallowing hard against the sob rising in her throat. She could imagine the scene and her heart ached for him. He looked over at her then, and another sheepish smile came to his lips. “I fell to my knees and all I saw was the filth above me, loading his bow. He took aim, between my eyes, I think, and I knew that was it. In a moment or two, it would all be over. My life would come to an end and do you know something?”

He looked over at her, and sensing he expected an answer, she shook her head. “No. What?”

“Do you know what I thought in my last moments?”

Her throat squeezed so tightly, she could barely force the word out, her whispered, “What?” breaking as she held his gaze.

“You.” His eyes softened, a hint of wonder creeping into them. “I was about to die and all I could think about was you.”

She pressed her lips together to keep them from trembling even as she breathed, “What?”

“I’d promised you I’d be back. And I was going to break that promise and it was my own stupidity that set those events in motion. My own greed. My lust for power.”

She stared at him for a long moment, then eased down from her stool and crossed to him, slipping her arms about his waist when she reached him. He stiffened, but she ignored it as she held him tighter, pressed her cheek to his chest, and whispered, “I am so very glad you are here, that you are here to tell me, Boromir.”

He said nothing at first, nor did he move, but then… he wrapped his arms about her. Wrapped his arms about her, pressed his cheek into her hair and when he trembled, she realized he was crying. There were no loud sobs, or theatrics of any sort, but she knew he cried just the same.

“We will find out what became of your hobbit,” she murmured, slipping her hands beneath his tunic to stroke his back gently. “And we will know soon enough if he was able to complete your quest.”

“I’m sorry…” 

“Shhh… I know.” She tightened her arms about him, as if to protect him from… from what? His own thoughts? His own fears? She didn't know, all she knew was she wanted to protect him from something. From everything, if that was even possible.

He went still against her. “I’ve disappointed everyone, let them down. I’ve failed in what I’d been entrusted to do.”

“You are human, Boromir, and just as flawed as the rest of us. You carry the weight of Gondor on these broad shoulders and you have for a long time, and you had a moment of weakness but for a noble reason. You wouldn’t have used the Ring for anything other than to keep Gondor safe and to see Sauron destroyed and I know you would not have harmed your Frodo, but would have stopped short of doing so.”

She pulled away then, and reached up to curve her hands against his face. “You did stop short of it and I know you’ll tell me it’s because he vanished, but you would have, regardless. Nothing you can say will ever convince me otherwise.”

“Because you refuse to see me as I am.”

“No,” she shook her head, “because I know you and I know you well. I know the pressure on you, and the weight you carry and how you wanted only to protect your people. And now, you must forgive yourself, for the people of Gondor need their steward. And before you argue with me again, know, I do see you as you are.”

He shook his head. “No, I am not the man they need. And if Aragorn lives still, then he is the rightful ruler, he is Gondor’s king.”

“What?” She shook her head. “We have no king.”

“We do. And should he return, I will gladly step aside and allow him to ascend his throne and I will offer my services to his army, should he require them.”

“Are you certain? You are Denethor’s heir.”

“I know,” he nodded, “but if Aragorn returns, as I said, he is the heir to the throne and will make a fine king. I won’t be needed. At least, not in the stewardship role. I can, of course, serve him by remaining a Captain-General in the Guard and I will do so willingly.”

“And they will be fortunate to have you still.”

“I am not so certain of that.” He said it with a smile, and catching her by the wrists, he tugged her hands from his face and linked his fingers with hers. “Tell me, do you expect your parents to return any time soon?”

“As in soon tonight, or soon in the near future.”

“Either one, I suppose.”

She offered up a long look. “What are you about, Boromir? I am not at all certain I trust that gleam in your eye.”

“What gleam might that be?”

“Boromir.”

“Gabby.”

“It’s all closed up above, it’s stuffy, and probably smells of musty linens.”

“I care not,” he told her, giving her hands a squeeze. “We can open a window.”

“You cannot be serious.”

“Love, I do not joke about taking you to bed.”

“Boromir!” The last syllable of his name whooshed from her as he playfully grabbed her about the waist and tossed her over his shoulder. She squeezed her eyes shut as her head spun from the sudden pressure change and slapped her hand against the firm mound of his left cheek. “Take care and mind your wounds.”

“My wounds are fine.” He trod toward the the kitchen. “Trust me.”

“Don’t you dare drop me.”

“I would never be so careless,” he assured her, striding through the kitchen, to the back staircase leading up to the apartment over the tavern. 

It was stuffy up there, but she forgot all about that as he playfully tossed her onto her narrow bed and smiled as he loomed over her, all broad shoulders and wide chest. He winked, then went to throw open the windows on the far side of the room to let in the cool, damp air and a few minutes later, the rain and the mustiness of a closed up apartment ceased to matter.

“This sheet smells like a wet towel that had been left in a corner to rot,” she murmured, tucking her head against his chest as he drew his arm about her.

His fingers smoothed lightly along her hair, murmuring, “I cannot smell anything but the lavender than clings to your hair. As far as I can remember, your hair has always smelled of it.”

“You know what my hair smells like?”

His fingers stilled momentarily. “You sound surprised.”

“I am.”

He pressed a kiss into the top of her head. “Why?”

“I didn't think men noticed such things.”

“We do.” He pressed a kiss into the top of her head. “Where certain women are concerned, that is.”

She sighed softly as she snuggled against him. Only the light sheet covered them, but Boromir truly didn't seem troubled by the hint of mustiness woven into the fabric. And truth be told, she didn't mind much, either. She was just happy to be laying there, entwined with him, her fingers tracing lightly through the golden hair curling away from his skin. A hint of leather clung to him and much like the lavender scent of her hair, his scent was unique to him and she would recognize it anywhere. 

Rain still pattered softly against the roof, and the sound was as soothing as the stroke of his fingers along her hair and the sound of his soft breathing. It was as perfect a moment as she had ever experienced, one she would forever treasure, and as she gazed up at him, his profile illuminated by the lone candle on the low chest of drawers, she wondered what he was thinking about at that very moment. 

“Boromir?”

“Yes?”

“What was Rivendell like?”

“It was beautiful. Peaceful.” The linens rustled as he shifted onto his side, propping his head on his fist. “And it was a far cry from what we found in Moria.”

“Moria?”

He nodded. “We originally tried to go over Moria, along the Caradhras, but Saruman tried to bring the mountain down on us and then tried to bury us alive in snow. Frodo decided we would instead go through the mines of Moria. And that was where we thought Gandalf had perished, at the hands of the balrog. Which was far worse than the orcs and their blasted cave troll.”

“They had a cave troll?”

“They had a cave troll.”

He said it with a hint of a smile and she reached out to curve her hand against his cheek. “I’ll wager you were a sight to behold, fighting off a cave troll.”

His eyes slid shut for a moment as she swept her thumb along his skin. “I don't know about that, but I did keep Frodo from falling into the abyss, kept the lot of them from doing so. I spent a good deal of the time carrying two of them about. And I tried to teach Merry and Pippin how to defend themselves with the swords Aragorn gave them. It was… I had to remind myself from time to time that they were not children, despite being young and small. They’re adults, but the size of nine year olds.”

“I can just see that as well.” 

“I was terribly uncomfortable, though. In Rivendell and Lothlórien, I mean. I found no peace there, despite how safe both places were.”

“Lothlórien?”

“Yes, in the North. The Lady Galadriel and her husband Celeborn oversee it and when we found our way out of Moria, they offered us shelter.” He smiled. “Actually, they captured us in their wood and Aragorn explained why we were there, and then they offered us shelter.”

The chain about his neck glinted in the candlelight, as did the bear medallion. “I’ve heard tell she is very beautiful. Lady Galadriel, I mean.”

“She is. But… she also makes me uncomfortable. She has a way of speaking to you, without using her voice. And yet, you hear her. As plain as I hear you now. She spoke of the fall of Gondor and my father’s failing rule and yet, she spoke of hope. And I hadn’t felt any of that both before and after she said the words.

“But,” he smiled down at her, “now I do. I think this is the hope of which she spoke. Not that my father would somehow restore Gondor to its former glory, but that there is a future for me. Here. With you. When I was on my knees in that clearing at Amon Hen, all I wished for was to be allowed to survive that and to come back to you. I would make it all up to the halflings in time, but I desperately wished to see you one last time.”

“You can still make it up to them. Did you and Pippin make peace?”

He nodded. “We did. And when Merry awakes, I will go to him on bended knee as well. And if he awakens, perhaps there is hope for Faramir, as well.”

“I think you’ve learned that there is always hope. Even when the night is at its darkest, the sun will rise come morning.”

“So I’m learning.” He leaned over then and captured her lips with his in a slow, lingering kiss. 

Her eyelids slid shut as he broke the kiss to nuzzle her, his goatee tickling along her sensitive skin, and she couldn't hold back her laugh.

“Are you laughing at me?” His whisper swept against her ear.

“Hardly. But I am ticklish, it seems.”

He nuzzled her again, his laughter mingling with hers as she squirmed to get away from him. Then, he pulled back, and reached to brush her hair away from her face, his green eyes tender as he whispered, “I do love you, you know.”

Her laughter died away as she held his gaze. “I know.”

“What is it?” he murmured, his fingertips brushing along her cheeks. 

“You walked all that way, and so badly injured… how?”

“I didn't walk the entire way. The elves had given us boats and I took one back, thinking water was far safer for me to traverse. But, I must have fallen unconscious at some point, for all I know is I found myself beached and had not the strength to move the boat back into deeper water. So, that’s when I began walking. And before you ask, I have no idea where I was. I only know is it took me about three days to get from there to here.”

“Stubborn man.”

“Determined man.” He carefully eased himself over her and smiled down as he added, “I had a very good reason to want to come home, you know.”

“And the elves offered no help to your Fellowship?”

“There was nothing they could do. But, they offered us food and shelter, and gave us cloaks that would help us blend with the forest and the like, so they did what they could.”

“So, that’s where it came from?”

His forehead furrowed. “That’s where what came from?”

“The beautiful cloak and clasp I saw in your apartment.” She couldn't resist teasing him. “For a moment, I thought I might have cause to be jealous. That perhaps you’d had your head turned by another woman.”

“I’m fairly certain the only woman whose head I could turn when I am a sweaty, scruffy, unwashed, bloodied mess is you.”

“I don't know about that. Perhaps this is wrong of me, but you happen to be very desirable when you’re a sweaty, scruffy, unwashed mess. Although, I could do without you being bloodied, to be honest.”

“You would think so.” He let out a soft chuckle. “Either way, I wasn’t interested in any women. All I wanted was to do what we’d set out to do and then return. I wished to see this war end and for peace to come about in its stead and to come back home alive and in one piece, as I had promised you I would. And now? Now, I wish to go back to my chambers, where we might sleep in comfort on sheets that do not smell of musty toweling and dust.”

“I cannot come back with you. People will talk.”

“No, they won’t.” 

“Of course they will.”

“Then I suppose I will stay here and ignore the mustiness and dust.” He dipped to kiss her softly. Kissing was something he seemed to thoroughly enjoy, as he never rushed a single kiss. Instead, he treated each kiss as if it was to be savored, as if her lips were a delicacy he feared he’d never sample again. Each one was slow and lingering, as much a caress as anything else, and when he broke it to brush those same teasing lips along the side of her neck, Gabriella couldn't hold back her sigh.

“Do I bore you?” His whisper came light along her skin. “Is that why you sigh?”

“Not at all,” she murmured with a smile. “Just enjoying your attentions, is all.”

His soft laugh echoed in her ear, his lips brushing the outer shell of it. “Did you truly think I would be looking at other women, Gabby? When I knew you were awaiting my return?”

“Well, elves are stunning. I doubt anyone would fault you.”

He drew back then, his eyes glittering in the candlelight. “They are, true. But, so are you, you know.”

She reached up to sweep back a lock of dark gold hair that fell over his forehead. “Compared to an elf-maid? I think not. I’ve heard they are all tall and thin and beautiful.”

“They are. But they are also rather dull, if you ask me.” He dipped toward her again, his lips just barely brushing hers as he whispered, “I prefer tiny spitfires who think nothing of putting me in my place, even when they are afraid to swing at me during sword practice.”

“I am not afraid to swing, I’m afraid I’ll hurt you if I do.”

“Hurt me? Love, I am not so certain you would actually hurt me at all. You are half my size and I am at least five stone heavier than you.”

“Has no one ever told you to not be fooled by size?”

“Gabby, you aren’t going to hurt me.”

She planted both hands on his chest (taking care to not hit his wounds) and shoved to flip him onto his back, then, she shifted astride him, grabbing both hands to pin them down on either side his head. “See?”

The sparkle his eyes brightened, but then those green irises darkened as he growled,  “I do, indeed.”

“Boromir!”

“What? It’s a lovely view, Gabby.”

Heat flared in her cheeks as his gaze slowly slid down her body and she bit back a smile as his body betrayed him. Or perhaps it wasn't a betrayal at all, since his gaze locked with hers and a slow smile accompanied that sudden pressure at the apex of her thighs. 

A hint of shyness swirled through her at that hungry gaze. After all, she and Boromir might have been friends since the beginning of time, but they were only recently lovers. They were already comfortable with one another, but it was something entirely different, being this intimate with one another. She’d never played with a man this way, never felt comfortable enough with one to do so. But with Boromir, it all flowed so naturally, she didn't second guess her words or actions or impulses, but simply gave into them. 

“What’s on your mind?” His low voice broke through her reverie as his eyes softened again. 

She released his wrists to sit back, almost smiling at his soft groan when her weight shifted and that pressure grew stronger. “It’s silly, is what it is.”

His hands came to rest on her thighs, his thumbs gently stroking the inner slopes. “Tell me.”

“You’ll think it—and me—stupid.”

“Never. And I have become quite the expert on stupid actions and words, remember.” He gave both thighs a gentle squeeze. “Tell me.”

The heat swirling through her worsened and had nothing to do with the way he gazed up at her and nothing to do with the fact that he couldn’t hide his growing arousal and everything to do with the fact that the last thing she wanted was him thinking she’d gone completely idiot. 

She drew in a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and instead of telling him what she’d truly been thinking, she said, “If I told anyone about this side of you, they would think me a liar.”

His lips pursed slightly, and she had the feeling he didn't believe her. But if that was true, he said nothing about it. Instead, his fingers tightened on her thighs once more and he said, “I’m allowed to be soft with you, Gabby. You won’t think me weak for it.” 

“You? Weak?” She shook her head. “You are the very opposite of that, Boromir, and I think we both know that.”

As she spoke, she traced gently along the bandage just below his collarbone. “Three arrows and they still couldn't bring you down. Three arrows and you walked back here of sheer will. You walked back here with those terrible wounds.” Her throat tightened as she slid her finger gingerly  over the edge of the linen still wound about him, as the realization sank into her as to how seriously he’d been wounded, that those foul creatures thought nothing of trying to end his life.

Her eyes stung as she gazed upon him now, his green eyes tender, his fingers light as they swept along her skin. No man ever gazed at her the way he did just then, and to think of him being gone—truly being gone—was too terrible to contemplate. She’d had a taste of what it would be like and had no desire to ever know it again.

“Gabby, I’m going to be fine.”

She nodded at his whisper, unable to bring herself speak. She didn't trust her voice. Didn't trust it to remain calm and steady, as her eyes filled and she ducked her head.

“Come here.” He caught her by one wrist to draw her flush against him, wrapping his arms about her as he whispered, “I am here and I am going to be fine in time, love. Shhh… shhh…”

She couldn’t hold back those tears any longer, burying her face in his neck, against the rough scruff where he had not yet shaved yet. His arms tightened further, and he brought one hand up to smooth along her hair, then cradled the back of her head. 

He said no more, but only held her, until she calmed against him. 

[actual-changeling]

hi, in you post the other day you said that some authors `wrongly portray PTSD` ? can you axplain what you mean by that?

Hi anon!

I assume you are referring to this post, though I have made a couple at this point.

When it comes down to it, I mostly mean two things with that: ignoring their PTSD and trauma entirely and the portrayal being medically/factually incorrect.

I wish I could say that you can completely ignore the shit that happened to them and still write the characters as they, but in my opinion they are way to intertwined, you cannot separate Joel from his trauma because his trauma MADE him Joel, same with Ellie. Unless it is an AU and/or purposefully written out of character, you have to acknowledge their PTSD in some way. And mind you, even in most AUs people still include Sarah's death and Ellie's traumatic experiences because they are defining to their characters.

Still, my issue isn't even with people completely ignoring it (honestly if you wanna do that please do! let them be carefree and happy), the problem arises when people continue to write them the way they are, PTSD symptoms and all, but do not acknowledge it whatsoever. Ellie flinches and it's portrayed as funny, Joel is anxiously overbearing and it's written as "oh he is just like that", I am talking about authors taking serious disordered symptoms and depathologizing them. This is dangerous because it means people who aren't as educated on the matter read that and think those experiences are normal. They are not.

The second problem is people writing PTSD and other disorders in a way that is medically incorrect, either out of pure ignorance/lack of education or on purpose because it serves their plot.

Before I explain why exactly that is an issue though I wanna say that there IS a third version of this one where it is okay. If you have PTSD/whatever disorder it is about and write it in a way that provides catharsis to you or helps you process something that is 100% alright, you are not contributing to the problem. Writing is personal and sometimes we don't want the shit we go through on the daily to be as heavy as it actually is, just the comfort we can come up with. So if you are reading this and worried I mean you: I don't, promise.

Now, the problem. I think the most obvious one is the fact that it is inaccurate representation that can not only give people false information but also contribute to stereotypes. If you are not educated enough to write an accurate portrayal of PTSD the one you do write will be based on ableist stereotypes society throws at us.

I have read fics not just in this fandom but basically all the other ones I have been in where panic attacks and triggers are healed by "the power of love", where panic attacks are always excessive hyperventilation and laying on the floor and it's the only symptom they have, where bad memories are erased because the person they like suddenly does love them back. Any symptoms that would require someone to actually understand how trauma affects someone are just fully erased or ignored. People get triggered and it's either "haha funny look how they flinch" or "you are evil for showing symptoms" - not even intentionally, but the way people write about it expresses exactly that to someone who has PTSD. There are inaccurate depictions of dissociation like "they pass out and need to be carried home" which is simply not how it works at all, or contradictory things like "they dissociated the whole time but still remember every little things" (if you didn't know, dissociation prevents memories from forming, it is not possible to heavily dissociate and then remember everything afterward).

I could go on and on about the shit I have seen, but I think this explains what exactly I meant by "inaccurate portrayals of PTSD". It contributes to ableism and stereotypes and unless you have PTSD yourself you have no business writing it like this. Trauma isn't your playground, either do it properly or not at all.

I hope this helped you understand anon, feel free to leave another ask if you have more questions or need something clarified, I am always happy to respond! I hope you have a good day <3