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gegegegegesworld · 1 year ago

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Apology to the fandom

Hello everyone, I am Panda (Potaxiepower formerly known as Kimetsunozushi69) and I want to write this post in order to own my mistakes and to apologise to the ones involved in this situation.

First of all, I am aware of my humour, which has crossed the line many times. I want to seriously apologise for the disgusting jokes that I did without any consideration of people's feelings. I want to clarify that I am not racist, I have no intention of discrimination against anyone.

I will never cross the lines ever again, and I will face the consequences of my actions which harmed many people in this fandom.

I do not expect people to forgive me, because what I said was truly unforgivable, but from now on, I will mature and I will become better.

In regards of others aspects, I want to talk about the way I treated the members involved in this situation, I am sure you all know this, but I was accused of being abusive to some members of this fandom, which I will admit that my behaviour was unacceptable, and my personal struggles and my own problems do not justify the actions that I committed against the people involved.

I admit that I was a very toxic friend, and I never knew how far my actions were until I realised that my harm to them was scarring and traumatising. I admit that my behaviour towards them is irredeemable and that not an apology can fix the consequences of my actions.

None of them truly hurt me, I was the one who was in a bad mental state and because of that I started to wrongly accuse them of things that they were not, and also badmouthing them and manipulating the situation to favour me, which after months of reflection, I realised that that was truly despicable behaviour.

I admit that I did all of this based on my own envy over them being better artists, academically brighter and better writers than me, which made me have an inferiority complex against them and because of that I was acting toxic towards them.

Even when they supported me in my hard times, I was ungrateful and despite them showing emotional and financial support, I was not willing to recognise their efforts to be my friends, because of my ego.

I understand why this situation is happening, because I cannot escape from my actions, I do not expect the fandom to ever forgive, and I understand that, I will face the consequences of what has happened this summer time.

I am sorry for ghosting the victims of the situation after doing enough harm and not apologising genuinely because I was a coward who did not want to accept my mistakes, and I understand why the situation escalated to worse after months.

I also understand why everyone in this fandom is currently furious over this, because I escaped and deleted everything without any explanation, this time, I will face the fandom and listen to your complains, I also will leave the fandom after this in order to start a new phase of my life where in the future I will not commit the same mistakes again.

I also want to clarify that none of my old followers or friends stalked any of the members, I was not aware of them facing harassment online, I am not lying when I say that I had everyone blocked which made me not interact with their posts or be interested in what they were posting, because I didn't want to see what they were doing (because I was ghosting) and I admit that I was talking bad about them behind their backs despite me promising to them that I would not talk about them, but I did not send hate because all the frustration that I had was thrown towards my close friends who were not interested in creating conflicts.

I recently found out that they were receiving some hate regarding the call-out, I did not send anyone. I promise everyone that I was inactive online and was scared of looking at what was happening, and I was with family members and real life friends these past two days.

MeitoMela and Meerudraws are innocent, they never had any vile intentions nor any interest in engaging in discourse, and them being friends and mutuals with me does not mean that they are on my side, nor do they agree with my actions nor are they interested in engaging in this.

Thank you very much for reading this letter, and I hope that the victims of this will find peace and help, and I wish everyone the best and happy holidays.

@irithnova

@tianshiisdead

@miyuecakes

#hetalia discourse #hetalia disk horse #potaxiepower #kimetsunozushi69 #panda #hetalia callout

23 notes · View notes

irithnova · 1 year ago

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So instead of reaching out to the people you've hurt personally you decide to make some self centred apology trying to save your own ass?

"I am aware of my humour" no, you're a racist Han chauvinist and you have a history of racism spanning back to 2019 even before you came into contact with us. Yeah we know about it now. This isn't your own brand of "humour" this is who you truly are and truly have been for almost 5 years now.

"I was accused of being abusive" you WERE abusive, PERIOD. You purposefully triggered someones ED and caused them to relapse. You suicide baited, manipulated and guilt tripped. You victim blamed someone for being assaulted as a child and tried to twist it into them having some sort of fetish. Amongst a plethora of other things.

You have some fucking nerve trying to sneakily deny what you did, pussy.

There is no way that after years of consistently bad behaviour, NOW you suddenly want to mature and become a better person? Now? AFTER you've been publicly called out?

We know for a FACT that you would have continued with this behaviour if we did not come out with this? Why? Well, not only because you clearly showed 0 remorse by responding to Tianshi with "have a nice life" after she told you pretty politely how much you hurt her, blocking everyone with no proper apology and 0 closure, and then reaching out to a friend of ours to try and DARVO us, but guess what?

Your former friends have straight up told us that you have been lying to them about the entire situation!

I know you've admitted that you've been talking about us behind our backs in this God awful apology, but holy shit are you seriously expecting us to take this apology as genuine in the slightest? Again. WHY ARE YOU ONLY APOLOGISING AFTER YOU'VE BEEN PUBLICLY CALLED OUT? YOU'VE HAD MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO DO THIS PRIVATELY. INSTEAD YOU CHOSE TO BLOCK AND SHIT TALK AND LIE.

AND ONCE AGAIN, WE KNOW YOU WERE FORCED TO PUT THIS APOLOGY OUT.

EVEN NOW YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO REACH OUT TO THE PEOPLE YOU'VE HURT PRIVATELY. THAT SPEAKS VOLUMES.

If you can't change in 4 YEARS, what makes us think you've changed in 4 days?

"I recently found out that they were receiving hate after the callout" if you've read the callout we make it abundantly clear we do not blame these friends because they're minors and that no one should go and harass them. Don't try and pin this on us.

If anyone who is reading this has ever sent Meito or anyone else in the doc anon hate, you are just as pathetic as Panda is. We made it clear that we did not make the document to facilitate harassment and straight up disavowed harassment in the doc itself.

Quit the bullshit and leave them alone.

Oh, and Meeru/@/meliissa-art? What fucking hate has Meeru got, other than me confronting her for brushing off your abusive behaviour and calling US toxic for going public about it? I gave Meeru 4 screenshots of your behaviour (including the screenshot about how you wanted Manchurians to be mass genocided and her genital cutting/sterilisation paragraph about Hokkien people) a list of the things you did, which also included victim blaming Mango for being assaulted as a child, and explained how we tried to handle it privately MULTIPLE TIMES...

And she STILL proceeded to call it boring cancel culture, tell me that I "only see morality in black and white" (I don't know how wishing genocide/sterilisation upon a whole group of people or victim blaming someone for being assaulted as a child can be justified but you do you Melissa! xoxo) and then blame me for ruining her Christmas when SHE was the one who engaged without apparently reading the whole document (idiot).

So yeah. I called Meeru the FUCK out and I don't regret doing so. Her response was all the more egregious because she built her blog off the back of Northern Asian and Siberian cultures, but will read a screenshot of you saying you want Manchurians to be genocided and then brush it off and shit on the victim for speaking out about your racist abuse! Meeru can fucking cope and seethe for all I care and so can you! And just like you, Meeru deleted all 3 of her accounts after I showed her the fuck up and is trying to rebrand. Birds of the same feather huh?

Meeru didn't have to engage. She engaged HERSELF by posting a backhanded and insensitive post about the whole thing, and doubled down when I, someone who was a victim of your abuse, confronted her about it.

@/Meliissa-art is not a victim of "hate" here! Be for fucking real!

If you're gonna be an abuse apologist on main Melissa, maybe you should expect some backlash? Just a thought.

The (almost) full interactions between me and Meeru. I couldn't get her final response to me because she blocked me after and then deleted her whole account but her final response was her excusing your behaviour again and blaming me for ruining her Christmas

This was first response to her.

This was her response to my first response. I cropped parts a lot of the parts out because a lot of her response was her yapping on about her God awful ocs but you can go and read the whole thing on my blog if you scroll back or look up meerudraws on the search for my posts.

Continued/the ending but with 90% of the yapping about her ocs taken out:

My second response:

Unfortunately she blocked me and deleted all three of her accounts after (I wonder why?) so I couldn't get the final response in a screenshot.

However I did see it as I was typing up a whole response to it and then went to hit reblog and boom I was blocked. But in that response she pretty much doubled down in her support of you and accused me of ruining her Christmas LMAO. This is why in a few posts after she blocked me, I made fun of her for blaming me for ruining her Christmas, as I had no way of replying to her directly at that point. Again, scroll through my account to verify this.

I have 0 pity for Meeru/@/meliissa-art. She doubled down in her demonisation of the people who were victimised by you just for speaking out about your abuse, even after I told her you victim blamed Mango for being assaulted as a child! How disgusting is that?

She showed herself up to be someone who's interest in Northern Asians/Siberians is purely orientalist. How fucking dare Meeru spin this on Tianshi to make it seem as if Tianshi was in the wrong for speaking up about you calling her racial slurs like ogre/mongrel tatar whilst building her blog off the back of Northern Asian and Siberian cultures! She's now attempting to rebrand, like you are.

"I never knew how far my actions were" oh but Panda you did know. Tianshi told you that you made her relapse, and all you said in response was "have a nice life" and block her. Don't play stupid. I told you about your shitty behaviour, and you did the exact same thing to me. You still went around spitting vitriol about Mango.

How are you expecting us to believe a word you're saying now, when you've consistently been lying for months? You've lied about people within our friendgroup whilst you were still a part of it, and up until now you've been lying to your new friends about everything that has happened. This is disingenuous as fuck.

"I will never cross the lines ever again" you've been crossing the lines since 2019 girly.

"...and also badmouthing them and manipulating the situation to favour me, which after months of reflection, I realised that that was truly despicable behaviour." ANOTHER LIE. Panda, you have not been "reflecting" for months. You lied and shittalked to as many people you could make listen to you for months. Your former friends confirmed this. You even admitted this yourself within your own apology ! "and I admit that I was talking bad about them behind their backs despite me promising to them that I would not talk about them".

Also, after you "promised" you wouldn't talk about us? ANOTHER LIE. You didn't promise SHIT. You just blocked us and ran off to spread lies about what happened. You can't help yourself from lying, even within your own apology huh?

"Thank you very much for reading this letter, and I hope that the victims of this will find peace and help, and I wish everyone the best and happy holidays."

Is this just a fancier way of you saying have a nice life?

Anyways. This you?

I'm posting these because these came from a person who was a victim of your behaviour in 2019. You also guilt tripped them, suicide baited them, and overall ruined their mental health. You also lied to them about us, just like how you lied to your new friends about us!

List of other things you did:

Say that Taiwan should be bombed

Say that Taiwanese people should be hunted like dogs

Say that HKers are ungrateful dogs

Say that Filipinos are dirty

Yes these are from 2019. But you have not changed an ounce since then. You are still lying about your former friends, suicidebaiting, guilt tripping, being racist, being a wumao. Again. If you haven't changed in 4 years, what makes us believes you've changed in 4 days? Holy shit I literally recoil in cringe at shit I even did 6 months ago, let alone 4 fucking years.

Let me guess, like you did to us, you're gonna come back to the fandom sooner or later, make a new friendgroup, tell them how your former friendgroup "gave you trauma", proceed to abuse your new friends, leave again once being called out for bad behaviour, come back again, make a new friendgroup, etc etc etc

You can take this disingenuous apology and shove it up your ass you fucking coward.

Have a nice life!

In response to @lemonyholyny

1) 12 year olds shouldn't be on tumblr OR tiktok. This isn't even me being an annoying adult, they are genuinely not allowed on those sites at that age. Tiktok AND Tumblr.

2) Viimi was being publicly racist/Sinophobic and was given stern but fair pushback from Mango. They were harassing Mango publicly and in a racist manner. Being a minor does not excuse racist harassment. Did you expect Mango and other Chinese people to just accept the racist harassment just because it came from a minor?

3) The apology was whack, period. Mango is under no obligation to accept it. Mango was the one who was wronged in the situation. Not the person who was being racist to her. It doesn't matter that they were 12 (again, you're not even allowed on these websites when you're that age).

The apology was also self admittedly disingenuous. Again, Mango is under no obligation to accept their apology ESPECIALLY BECAUSE IT WAS DISINGENUOUS.

Here you can see how they admit that they only wanted to apologise to Mango to escape accountability.

"ill just apologize so that goofy ahh artist takes it down" - Viimi

The apology itself was terrible too, and obviously it was because of this.

4) You wanna make this about minors vs adults? It was a (most likely minor) East Asian who reached out to Mango who was upset about Vimii's racism. They wanted to use this as an example to talk about issues that East Asians in online fandom spaces face.

Screenshots from @miyuecakes

Had to start collaging them as tumblr only allows 10 pics at a time.

5) I want to reiterate how ridiculous it is to use the "you're bullying minors!!" defence. If a 12 year old called an adult a slur, is the adult wrong for showing disgust towards such behaviour? Are other adults wrong for showing disgust toward such behaviour?

Again, Mango's response was stern but fair. Mango could have responded far worse considering how racist Vimmii was being.

That does not constitute harassment. Mango's friends (many of the friends in the screenshots you provided being East Asian/Chinese themselves so yes they have a right to be offended it doesn't fucking matter that they're 12) publicly being disgusted with Vimii's racism is also not harassment.

Mango's friend's being publicly disgusted at Viimi's selfish and (AGAIN, SELF ADMITTEDLY) disingenuous apology is also not harassment.

I wish an adult called out my racist bullies when I was 12 and they were calling me racial slurs and harassing me. Maybe they would have learned something and not went on to become horrible adults. But instead they got away with it because they were young and no one took them seriously. Sound familiar ?

If you're going to be racist, you will get people being offended by it. That is obvious. The burden shouldn't be put on the victims of racism to just take it laying down if they so choose to.

It's unfortunate that the racism came some someone so young but no one could have predicted that they were as young as 12, especially because you should not be allowed access to these sites at that age as per the site rules.

These same friends also tried to explain things to Viimi in a fairly gentle way.

Yet Viimi doubled down and then went on to post a self admittedly disingenuous apology in an attempt to get away with being racist. So yeah. People expressed their public disgust at this. This is not harassment.

Viimi started the racist harassment, Viimi was told fairly gently by multiple people to stop, Viimi doubled down, Viimi posts a self admittedly selfish and disingenuous apology to Mango, Mango does not accept the apology for these reasons, Mango's friends express disgust at Viimi's behaviour.