#also can people please get some reading comprehension on this website no one is fucking saying QPRs are amatonormative

[wherefore-whinnies]

I can't believe both sides of an aro discourse have reached my dash do I really have to start unfollowing people

[aquariclily]

🔞 Minors do not interact! 18+ only, & preferably 20+.

⠀General Roleplay Information!

All my blogs are listed here!

I personally prefer long RP stuff to be discussed through messages or Discord as I value OOC trust & communication. However, I'm good with filling in interest checkers as well.

I accept most inbox submissions, even for non-(Tumblr)roleplayers. But please don't expect for literally all inbox replies to turn into threads (though, you can ask.)

I can't consistently cut posts bc I'm generally on my phone & open Tumblr on the app.

I roleplay on both Tumblr & Discord. Discord RP's are a little more prioritized sometimes because it's more easy for me for short/more casual stuff. I'm open to try out other platforms if convenient.

NOTE: I am highly selective with my canons.

⠀Do Not Interact…

— DNI if your blog contains the following: Pedo/Incest/Bestiality/Anything Too Problematic (think of e.g. uncomfy~immoral/illegal taboo stuff, etc.) I really don't care what tf you're into - I just don't want to SEE these things on my dash. (Plus, I also don't want trouble.)

— OOC garbage behavior such as; Racism/Sexism/T.ERF/S.WERF/G.ender critical/M.AP/Z.oosexual/A.lt-right/Any discrimination or insensitivities to marginalized groups/etc. I will block that shit on sight.

— "Collectors". I block collectors on sight. I have terrible experiences with them. I usually block them on sight (for my mental health.) If you want your OC x Canon ship, you must offer double-up or leave me alone. Find some other blog.

— I'll repeat: No minors. Roleplay is for 18+ only, 20+ is preferred (not mandatory. This is because I'm 30+.) However, minors are free to follow my blog(s) if they are SFW. It's just that I don't want to roleplay with them.

— If I blocked you: Don't fucking block evade me!!

Notes: I block very liberally to curate my Tumblr Experience™ (it usually means that I just don't want to interact so don't take a block too personal) & it would be too laboring to fully elaborate on every small thing that just bothers me. (Along on how a lot of people on this website lack basic reading comprehension… not worth it. 🗿)

If you read this. Please don't worry about me blocking you out of the blue, I usually (kindly) confront people if we're mutuals for a while.

I admit that I suffer from trauma (C-PTSD) so curating my experience is very important. I don't want to list my specific triggers because it can be used against me but it's in the range of taboo/extreme stuff (what's in my DNI.)

⠀RP Do's…

— Just wing it. Don't get intimidated, I like casual RP's on Tumblr too. Don't worry too much about length/detail.

— Try to read the Blog/Muse Info's. Not mandatory, but it would be nice. This post is just the general RP rules (hence, it's posted on my main.)

�� Be patient. Acknowledge that there is an actual PERSON behind the screen. I am not an AI. Don't treat me like one. I have my preferences, & prefer to stick in my comfort zone. And sometimes I get busy. Sometimes, I just want to do different things. Sometimes, I'm just too tired, moody, sick, or whatever reason. You can ask what's up when in doubt, though. It's fine. I'm just saying that I have a life, my preferences, and that I need my rest.

— Talk OOC, plot stuff, discuss dynamics between our muses, etc. I may fill in interest checkers but I personally prefer to work through messages. Interest checkers don't really work for me on my canons so I no longer do that. I value good OOC communication. This is how you get things done with me.

— If there is a problem, talk it out. Let's acknowledge that we're human and being humans means that we're flawed and we all can have our bad days; I want to keep my mind open and hear you out.

— Give attention, show some excitement; I gravitate to those who seem most interested & express it. Don't worry about ♥/reblog-spam lol, I don't mind. I like the attention.

— Come up with ideas. Talk about our muses & world-building. You could never ever bother me with genuine interest & passion. Passionate writers are admirable.

— If you struggle with coming up with ideas: Ask! I will not mind if you ask, because that indicates that you're interested! Which is a good thing. I'll gladly brainstorm for you.

— Drop threads & start new ones if you lost muse. It's fine.

— Take a break if you need it! ♥

⠀RP Don'ts…

And I can't stress it enough.

— Don't be weird. Respect my boundaries. I am very tired.

— Don't sexualize/romance the muses that are minors or child-coded.

— Don't godmod. Don't try to control my muse without my consent.

— Don't expect me to ship something if we haven't discussed it. Also don't be a jerk if I say "No". I'm still selective. Don't demand me to do double up for ships if I don't see you demand it to others & don't see it in your BYI/RP Rules. (It's unfair to put a double standard to me.)

— Don't disrespect my wishes and preferences in roleplays. I am not an AI that is willing to write literally everything. Don't get mad if my muse isn't going to act the way you want them to. Don't guilt trip me for retiring muses: My muse for things isn't going to stay the same forever.

— Don't pressure me to write things I'm not (or no longer) interested in. When in doubt, just ask. If you don't ask; I guess you'll just stay in doubt then! Sorry.

— Don't make OOC vagueposts & stuff like that. It makes me nervous and worry if it's about me. I also will raise a brow at you if you give OOC drama more attention than roleplay, this can result into me confronting you or even unfollowing you if we're not close enough. Outside that: I actually DO support callouts of genuinely shitty & problematic people with actual/proper evidence! I'd rather not want to end up interacting with e.g. someone who's predatory or weird around minors.

— Don't be afraid to message me!! I'd love to talk.

Discord…

— Feel free to message me for my Discord if interested. Be sure to have some clear information about yourself somewhere before I add you!

— My status often says that I'm "offline". I want to reply at my own pace.

— Even on Discord, I take my breaks.

⠀⠀♡ this post to confirm that you've read the "General Roleplay Information"!

— Message me if there are any questions! Don't be shy if you don't understand some things.

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

12. Do you enjoy receiving feedback?

17.   If there’s one thing you could tell your readers, what would it be?

Thank you for the ask! From this ask game.

Do you enjoy receiving feedback?

I would love to say - sure! Always! But I know I am on the nuance and reading comprehension website, so:

In general: Absolutely. Unlike, say, AO3, neither Tumblr nor my blog have any stats (I once tried to program a download counter, but I fucked up XD) so I literally cannot tell if people even look at it. Unless someone leaves some kind of comment, I will never know (so, as far as I am aware, a single person on here finished my latest book), which, as you can imagine, is a tiny bit discouraging.

It doesn't help that I am very online, and with all the negativity on my dash I constantly have a little bad faith reader in my ear telling me how horrible I am for writing what I write and that I get everything wrong. So the occasional person telling me they enjoyed something! they related to something! means the world to me.

But there's different kinds of feedback, and while I don't want to be like "only nice comments please ;-; no criticism ever" - if it's a book that's out, it's too late for much of the latter. If a plot point is weak, it's not gonna change. And unless it's universal (hey, you know, teal isn't purple), it would be of little use to the next project. That's what beta readers are for, when it's at a point where I can still adjust things.

I don't think I have to mention that I'd be not keen to get hate, which is also a feedback of some kind, isn't it 😅

If there’s one thing you could tell your readers, what would it be?

I love you. I know I am incredibly awakward about replying to anything that isn't a straight-up question 😅 I'm sorry. I love you.

[avese23]

if you spend hours of your life stalking some poor girl, accuse her of being an abuse victim with no evidence and knowing she wants nothing with this, then falsify 24 pages of “proof,” you are the creep. Go write a fucking book, it’s what I did if I had the creative energy to spit out that much fiction in so little time. It’s wild how the clearly twitter bullshit that has no founding in real life cases or the real people behind the screen is given so much weight irl (specifically in gen z spaces. People who regularly touch grass and/or don’t watch much YouTube don’t know enough to care. This is a very uniquely nerd problem where niche interests become far more mainstream than they meant to. Hence why I’m posting about this on tumblr the website with nerds and a slightly higher reading comprehension level than the rest of the internet. Twitter scared me far before it died)

it’s annoying feeling a pressure to not voice opinions when meeting new people who think they know something about a fan space you’re on because twitter decides mass opinion equates facts. And that young adults on the internet that twitter likes are “helpless babies who never lie or say anything offensive” but the young adults that they don’t like are irredeemable monsters who deserve to die a horrible death.

anywho I deleted a bunch of social media apps for the holiday season but couldn’t hold back from giving a quick desktop rant to the one place you can usually get away with uncensored language and having unique thoughts. No tags cuz I don’t want to come back to hate in January but if you know what this is about then hello nerd. Also don’t want to tag cuz the girl mentioned above is getting enough unwanted attention from people using her as a pawn in their drama

TL:DR If this upsets you please unfollow, we’re probably both sick of this drama tbh. I don’t understand why people get to so into hate trains when all it does is stifle joy and creativity from whole communities. Anywho gonna use my energies to write 24 pages of gay wlw fantasy adventure (if I manage that with my headache I will redownload tumblr to gush highkey)

[seijohsremade]

ways to help protestors if you are unable to protest

everybody has to do their part. as a reference, this was posted on 1 june 2020. if any links are broken or direct to a place they should not, please feel free to add on with corrections. if there is new information with better knowledge, please feel free to share. thank you.

1. donate

do not donate to shaun king. he has repeatedly collected money to “support” black people, but no one knows where the money is.

BAIL FUNDS (ALPHABETICAL ORDER; NOT A COMPREHENSIVE LIST)

note: washington dc and new jersey have cashless bail systems.

bail fund google doc (also includes lawyers for protestors)

national bail fund network (directory of community bail funds)

community bail funds masterpost by @keplercryptids

resistance funds (google sheets; lists bail funds around the country)

nationwide bail funds (split a donation to the bail funds listed on the linked page with a single transaction)

atlanta bail fund

brooklyn bail fund

colorado freedom fund

columbus freedom fund

houston chapter of black lives matter

liberty fund (nyc based; focuses services on people from low-income communities)

los angeles freedom fund

louisville community fund

massachusetts bail fund

minnesota freedom fund (as of may 30, 2020, they are encouraging people to donate elsewhere since they have raised enough money; as of may 29, 2020, they do not have a venmo, as some fraudulent accounts have been claiming, source)

philadelphia bail out fund

richmond bail fund

MORE PLACES TO DONATE

note: more links are listed in the masterposts below.

northstar health collective (healthcare and medical aid for people on the front lines)

reclaim the block (aims to redistribute police funding to help the minneapolis community)

twin cities dsa (provides fresh groceries and hot meals to people in minneapolis)

2. educate yourself

it isn’t enough to sign petitions and reblog/retweet/etc. nonblack people, including people of color, owe it to black people to educate themselves and correct themselves and the people around them on anti-blackness.

note: more links are in the masterposts linked below.

resources and tools regarding racism and anti-blackness (google sheets compilation)

readings on society, racism, the prison system, etc. (twitter thread)

“where do we go after ferguson?” by michael eric dyson

official black lives matter website

3. give out supplies to protestors

people need supplies to protest safely, and even if they bring supplies with them, they can often run out. if you’re able, stock up and hand them out to people protesting. for more supplies to donate, see the “george floyd action” google docs link in section 5.

water bottles (dehydration and heatstroke are not things people should have to deal with alongside bastard cops. if the police in your area are particularly violent or known to use tear gas, get the ones with the sports cap/suction-thing/etc so people can use them as emergency eye-flushes.)

snacks (make sure to take into account that people have allergies of all sorts. foods will have a little label that says “may contain” and then list any potential allergens. write the allergens on the ziploc (or any container you use) in permanent marker, or better yet, write the snacks included in the pack.)

masks (don’t forget there’s still a pandemic going on. also it will aid in deterring facial recognition when the police try to track down protestors,  also part two, if the cops use tear gas, wearing a mask (with the combination of a scarf or bandana) will lessen the adverse effects. lessen, not stop.)

bandanas, scarves, etc. and goggles (ski goggles, swimming goggles, etc.) (see above for explanation on the scarves. same goes for the goggles. anti–tear gas and anti–facial recognition.)

clean shirts (for people who are heavily gassed. also helps deter recognition through clothing.)

wound care supplies (band-aids, packets of neosporin packets or a similar antibiotic, alcohol wipes, etc.; if you can, decant bactine into those little travel bottles.)

a sharpie or another type of marker (for writing bail numbers or emergency contacts on arms, hands, etc. it’s not enough to have your city’s bail fund number stored on your phone; the police won’t give it to you to look it up. give people a marker so they can write it down, preferably not washable so it isn’t easily removed.)

IMPORTANT: KNOWING FIRST AID

tear gas: if you’re hit, get out as fast and as soon as you can. take anyone you can with you. the longer you’re in the gas, the harder it will be for you to see, and it can irritate your airways, making it hard to breathe. if you’re hit, don’t run; it’ll only make things worse on your lungs. when you leave the area, take a cold shower. don’t use hot water (it will only reactivate the agent); don’t bathe (it will only spread the CS around). (source 1) (source 2) (cdc fact sheet on tear gas)

move them to a clean and ventilated area where it’s as safe as possible.

ask them if they’re wearing contact lenses. have them remove it. if they’re wearing glasses, rinse it with water.

solution of half liquid antacid, half water. spray from the inside going out, with the head tilted back and slightly towards the side being rinsed. if they say it’s okay, open the eye slightly while doing this. (source)

bullet wounds: the most important thing is to stop the bleeding. be sure to check for an exit wound and cover that as well. treat both wounds, but treat the worse one first.

stop the bleed (youtube video by uc san diego health)

first aid in active shooting scenarios

making a tourniquet (a commercial tourniquet is best, but improvised ones can work as well if done properly; the most important things to remember is that tourniquets are for limb injuries and are not meant for the head or torso and that they have to be very tightly wound on the injury.)

how to apply pressure dressings

miscellaneous

adult cpr tutorial (youtube video by cincinnati children’s; think of “staying alive” by the beegees or “uptown funk”)

4. be a source of information

be responsible with this. people’s lives are at stake. that being said, the media is a fucking joke and the best way to get accurate information in a grassroots rebellion is amongst ourselves. record everything, but if you are going to share any information at all, be sure to blur people’s faces.

signal (encrypted messenger app; messages delete after x amount of time): app store | google play

tool for scrubbing metadata from images and selectively blurring identifiable features

tech tips to protect yourself while protesting (by rey.nbows on tiktok, via vicent_efl on twitter)

cop spotting 101 (google docs)

know your rights (by personachuu on twitter)

NUMBERS TO CALL FOR ARRESTED PROTESTORS (ALPHABETICAL ORDER; SOURCES LINKED TO THE NUMBER)

remember to keep phones OFF unless absolutely necessary. cell phone towers, stingrays, location notifs can all be used to track you and other protestors. don’t fuck around. if your phone must be on, keep it on airplane mode as often as possible and only communicate using encrypted methods. no, snapchat doesn’t count. (a twitter thread on stingrays, for those interested)

lawyers assisting protestors pro-bono (by riyakatariax on twitter)

atlanta: 404-689-1519

chicago: 773-309-1198

minneapolis: 612-444-2654

5. miscellaneous links and links for protestors

masterpost of petitions to sign, numbers to call, places to donate, and more (carrd by dehyedration on twitter)

#blacklivesmatter (google docs by ambivaIcnt on twitter; includes information on relevant events, other masterposts, lists of petitions and donation links, how to protest safely and protests to go to, and more)

george floyd action (google docs; includes information on apps to download, supplies to buy and donate, places to donate to, protest safety, resources on unlearning racial bias, and more)

how to get out of ziptie “handcuffs” (by finnianj on tiktok, via katzerax on twitter)

how can i help? by @abbiheartstaylor

how to make a signal-blocking cell phone pouch

tips for protestors by @aurora00boredealis

twitter thread for protestors (by vantaemuseum on twitter)

also, if you’re protesting, change your passcode. make it at least 11 characters long and don’t use facial/thumb recognition.

[reclusiverisottonero]

no, I strongly encourage YOU to read the laws and not just about fiction. what are you the fanfic police? i encourage you to read and study the laws about child pornography, pedophilia and how it can hurt and traumatise multiple children and even if it’s just for your stupid fiction fantasy.

oh and also im not sexualising myself at all. people on tiktok do that as a joke and make funny posts about how much they love the character even tho it’s nsfw. you’re acting like teens don’t have any hormones. besides, if u think im “sexualising myself” and saying it’s better for my own safety to not post anything like that, why are you publicly posting my account for people to see? its like you want people to sexualise me. legit man the entirety of tiktok teens and just teens in general have HORMONES and of course they are gonna be horny. but at least they have a brain and logic that child porno is not okay, im not the one writing about a teen getting raped you dumb fuck.

if anything. you’re a creep. leaking my account and telling me not to sexualise myself meanwhile you support a person who makes child porn. the fact you have to defend someone like this is genuinely embarrassing.

everything i told you really flew over your head, didn't it? please gain some reading comprehension. i was going by your logic about how you think writing sexual situations with a minor are illegal, but then you, a minor, are talking about doing that to fictional characters and cant see the hypocrisy in your own logic.

i'm going to give you some homework, please educate yourself with the above links before talking to me again. also, i don't have a tiktok account so i can't reply to your posts there but if you feel like youre in so much danger over your account being 'leaked' when its a public website then maybe you should delete it.

[redshoesnblueskies]

free PillowFort invites - would you like one? what is PF? glad you asked!

Do you know about PillowFort?  Did you find yourself nodding (nay, weeping) about the post I reblogged yesterday about how the tumblr platform sucks for community building?  The one with the quote, “When Authors stopped being friends and turned into content providers, new fandom members never learned to care.” from  zoinomiko?  PILLOWFORT MAY BE EXACTLY RIGHT FOR YOU.  Lemme explain!

Pillowfort is like the best of the LJ/DW platform and the best of the tumblr platform, if all of tumblr had most of x-kit installed (snort).  (forgive me if this list is long but that’s because PF is fucking amazing - I can’t help it!)

Such as:

following:  you can follow others, they can follow you. your feed will be an endless scroll, like here.

reblogs - you like a post, reblog jand it will show up on your PF blog to all of your followers, just like here.

HOWEVER - if you are the original post creator, you control it. Forever.

if you are the post author/creator, you can delete it at any time - and it will be deleted everywhere. (god haven’t you wished you could do this for some of your tumblr posts where reblogs have content you despise but are now permanently out in the world???)

to reiterate: if you made a post, you are in complete control as to its existence - it never ends up reblogged out of your control, because it’s never embedded on someone elses’ blog as new content, even though it’s visible in the PF feeds of those who reblog from you.

you can tag posts when you reblog them, just like here

you can comment on posts (whether you reblog them or not)

as a commenter, you can delete your own comment at any time.

the comment structure is NESTED - like a well constructed forum or DW or LJ.  If someone responds to you, it shows up indented under your comment. If someone comments on the original post, it shows up as not indented.  Just as you’d expect.

if you’ve only ever been on tumblr you have no idea how much this creates relationships and real community.  That post that I reblogged yesterday that talked about how “When Authors stopped being friends and turned into content providers, new fandom members never learned to care.” - THAT is what a forum designed for real discussion in a comprehensible visual format creates.

As the post creator, you can delete anyone’s comments.  You are in charge of the vibe on your own original post.  

this creates self-selected community involvement - if you’re a jerk, nice people will un-friend your blog and just leave it alone.  If you foster happy healthy vibes, people will appear and join and comment.

  This fosters a huge golden-rule environment that made some blogs a huge happy success on LJ/DW where mean people were banned and kind people were welcomed and celebrated; and some mean toxic successes - where healthy people went somewhere nicer.  I‘m not even gonna bold that.  Because fuck that dynamic on the entire internet.

you can create original posts your followers can read/see on their feeds

you can make these available to all without restrictions

OR you can make them any of these options:

un-rebloggable

un-commentable

marked/categorized as NSFW to help others screen

or visible only to mutuals

(a feature whereby we can create our own curated ‘friend groups’ is promised. remember, this is entirely new code they’re creating. features are being requested and implemented as fast as they can roll them out in a functional way)

Incidentally, if you have a problem, the staff is actually real humans who really respond to you! Shocking, isn’t it?

there are communities you can join or create - have a particular fandom or RL interest?  find or create a community - search by tags!

There are different post types to choose from:

text

picture

video (currently only youtube, but that will expand)

link (shows a preview of the website you’re linking to, just like here) (incidentally, this will embed an instagram photo or video and the video will play - yes!)

audio (currently soundcloud only, that will expand)

You can send private mail to another member (and mail you write does not vanish into the ether, it remains as part of the conversation chain when you click on it.  kinda clunky, but getting there!)

you can choose to receive messages from anyone, noone, or only your mutuals

You can blacklist content based on key-word

You can filter as well

You can block users (god bless the block button anywhere on the internet)

You can check notifications

you can instantly sort ‘replies’ from ‘likes & reblogs’

There are avatars (do they support animation yet? I’m not sure?)

there aren’t themes yet (give the poor coders time!), but you can change your PF’s color scheme to whatever you like

You can deactivate your account - make in vanish, but without deleting it. handy if you just wanna go away, but not lose all your content - and not have your content be visible while you’re gone

You can delete you account (of course)

You have three invites a week you can give away free!  Though PF needs the $5 life-long one-time registration fee to keep the lights on, this is a way to help someone who’d love to be a member, but hasn’t got the cash :) 

If you want to join PF and cannot afford the one-time $5 fee (which is paying for server & bandwidth ), I am happy to give away my 3 invites a week to any friends on here - where ‘friend’ equals ‘nice people who’ve been nice on here!’  Just DM me, and I’ll give you one :)  Please pay them if you can afford to though!

Pillowfort is a great design for fandom, it’s not owned by some big corporate entity - it’s run by fans.  Remember what that feels like?  Dreamwidth?  AO3?  Like that.  Real humans, who will really respond to you.

I really really want to see Pillowfort become a successful platform - COME JOIN US!  WE’RE HAVING GREAT FUN AND MAKING REAL RELATIONSHIPS :)

PF members - feel free to chime in about any awesomeness I forgot to include!  [any haters, eff off]

Everyone keep in mind, Pillowfort is a brand new platform being created from scratch - updates roll out regularly (if they break anything, staff is all over it and its fixed quickly), requested features are being implemented all the time (and seldom break things - how weird), and Real Humans Such As Yourself are doing all of this, without whopping paychecks [any paychecks] and without being owned by some corporation.  (Incidentally, they could use your donation - whether one time or subscription, amount is your choice)

If ‘being nice to fellow fans because they are friends, not simply faceless content creators’ is an unfamiliar concept...please feel free to try it out when discussing PF on this post :D

.

ETA!!!

in her HUGELY THOROUGH pifo info post, @lavender-sprinkles​  also pointed people toward ‘a completely interaction-free Google form” where you can find free invites!!  

The PILLOWFORT INVITE KEY EXCHANGE PROJECT - ‘Itching to join Pillowfort, but can't swing the $5 fee? Fear not! All you have to do is fill out this form and we will connect you with a PiFo user who has a spare key meant just for you! Absolutely FREE! Then just sit back and patiently wait for it to arrive.‘

DUDE. IT COULD NOT BE EASIER TO GET A FREE ACCOUNT - AWESOME!

[trilies]

an argument for AO3

So I’m in a conversation with someone who is kind of in the “against AO3″ camp, and they asked me a couple of questions. Namely, who wouldn’t be uncomfortable with pedophilia? Isn’t it sketchy that a beta website is asking for so much money despite reaching its goals?

And my answer became so long... I figured it might as well become its own post. Please bear in mind that this is cut from a whole conversation.

But here it is.

------

No. It doesn't seem sketchy to me at all. Why would it? I know we make jokes about how much money tumblr has cost the various sites which purchase it like Yahoo, but there's some truth there: it's really expensive to host a website to thousands and thousands of people. It's why we see so many tumblr owners trying to shoehorn in ads or make people buy services, or why Photobucket tried to pull that truly atrocious bullshit a year or two back. Without image hosting capabilities (tumblr and photobucket's big thing), the strain isn't as huge.... but AO3 is MASSIVE. It is hosting literally thousands of accounts, millions of stories. That's massive on a server scale alone, ignoring all the other work they do. Yeah, it's in beta... but that's because it's trying to reach a goal of being as good a fanfic archive as they can be, and they don't believe they've reached that goal yet. Being in beta means they can better listen to their uses on shit like tagging systems and make those changes. Not to mention, again, they are INCREDIBLY transparent. If you are worried about where the money is going, you can go on the site and they have all their stuff up there.

As for the pedophilia subject matter.... Please give me a moment. because there's honestly a lot to say on that particular issue, if nothing else. This will take a while, so if you see this and there hasn't been a reply yet.... I'm still typing lmao.

To start with, of course people are uncomfortable about pedophilia. However, there are a lot of problems with how pedophilia is viewed or *used* as an accusation in the current fandom climate.

For example, in honestly EXTREMELY recent times, I was told I was "defending" pedophilia because I disagreed that a character (an immortal food gijinka) was "minor-coded" or "designed as an underage teenager". (As a note, an argument for this view was that the character's breasts were too small.) When I pointed out, hey, that's kind of a fucked up accusation to throw at a complete stranger, especially as I am a CSA survivor, I was told "You have to be lying about that, then, because a real CSA survivor would understand."

c o o l

That's just my personal experience that happened within a couple of months. Other people have talked about running into people who think that a character turning 18 means they're a pedophile for still dating a 17 year old. Or running into people who think a 40 year old dating someone in their 30s is pedophilic. Or believe that even SHIPPING characters who were not yet 18 was pedophilic if you yourself were over 18.

(Of course, you also have the kinds of people who try to use Moral Purity as a way to bash ships they don't like. I once saw someone try to claim that a popular mlm ship, A/B, was pedophilic because one half of the equation looked young.... when some other artists drew him... Of course, on the side, this person liked to also get angry that *their* favorite ship, a dude/chick ship composing of A/C, wasn't more popular. So. You know.)

So that's one half of the problem: the word "pedophile" being so warped that a lot of people now have no idea if the person using it has a genuine concern or if the accuser is trying to smear someone who doesn't ship the same thing. FFnet and Tumblr have gone with the "burn it all down" approach, which hasn't actually helped anyone and is, to boot, sloppily moderated. So we know from history, from experience in cases like mine, that it doesn't help in that area.

The other half of the problem is... How far is too far?

This is where "anti" culture begins to find similarities with the whole Warriors for Innocence thing. If you completely and blindly block an entire tag, or anyone associated with it, you have to ask: who are you hurting? Warriors for Innocence hurt actual rape victim, and queer folk, and a whole lot of others. Far as I can tell, anti culture is on the route to the same thing, because I have yet to see appropriate answers to a lot of issues.

If one says "anything with underage sex in it is bad and should be banned", what about fics that tackle it in a serious manner? The young adult novel "Speak" deals with rape of an underage girl and how she works through that mental trauma; are fics with stories equivalent to that allowed? Do fics with underage sex have to focus purely on how it is Horrible And Bad to be allowed? Does only a chapter have to be allowed? A paragraph? An author's note? A tag? Or are we allowed to never explore dark subject matter?

Is fic with underage content in it only horrible if it's someone over the age of eighteen who writes it? Can a teenager write smut (terribly written as it may likely be) between teenage characters? Can a teenager write smut between a teenage character and an adult character? For the record, i did in fact, over the summer, run into someone who said that teens/minors "shouldn't even know about NSFW", which is asinine to me, because Abstinence Only is a terrible thing to put in schools, and somehow worse in a way when you try to put that into effect in fandom. If the answer is 'yes', what are you going to do, demand to see people's birth certificates in fandom?

(As a note, I think this is a terrible message to put into fandom for teenagers because I believe it will inevitably lead to self hatred and a warped view of sex. If you make the extremely simplified black-and-white statement of "teens and sex should never go together ever in any way", that's going to mess up teens who are starting to experience arousal in their bodies. The message, whether intended or not, ends up as "NSFW things are bad, which means my brain which thought NSFW thoughts is bad, and my brain thought those thoughts because my body had these feelings". )

(This is bad for any average teenager. This will be especially worse to CSA and rape victims, along with queer youth who, in a lot of places, are still struggling with their bodies and/or feelings because the world is still pretty damn queerphobic.)

Speaking of CSA and rape victims, what about those of them who write/read underage ships or dark content as a way to cope with what happened or Just Because? That's a thing lots of us do, especially those of us who don't look like the Perfect Victims people can use as an excuse for whatever crusade they're waging. I've heard anti types go "Well, it's an unhealthy way to cope" or claims that CSA/rape victims who write such dark content are "just as bad as their abusers"... But are they psychiatrists/therapists? Are they the psychiatrists/therapists of *those specific people*? Will you moderate this kind of content by forcefully interrogating CSA/rape victims to out their trauma to a complete stranger? Will you demand to speak to their therapists? Over fanfic?

When I was a teenager, I wrote all sorts of stuff. I wrote dark dub-con fic, because I liked to explore those dark feelings in the process and the aftermath separate from myself. I wrote a fic with a fairly young teenage girl (what age was kh2 kairi? who even knows, I sure didn't) falling for a MUCH older man built like a brick shit house so that there was never any doubt to him being an adult, even giving him her first kiss, because they were my favorite characters, I wanted both of them to have a moment of happiness (that i promptly ruined but hey), and, *in this fic*, I knew it would be alright. I knew the girl would always be in control, she'd be the one making moves, that the guy was nonthreatening and kind and protect her and work alongside her.

(and then I began the process of killing him off in the next paragraph through him saving her life, but, like. Drama (tm), baby)

This was all good for me. At an age where I was young, vulnerable, and figuring out weird shit like arousal and romantic feelings, it was *invaluable* to have a space where I could explore all of that while relatively safe from actual danger, even if the stuff I wanted to explore was a little messed up. This whole thing against AO3 wouldn't have helped me, and I'm pretty sure it's not helping a lot of other people too.

There is an issue with underage people and sex stuff- not just in fandom but in culture at large. We have Hollywood dressing up young girl actresses in super slinky or revealing clothes. We have schools saying girls basically should never wear shorts, and capitalism fucking this up further by only selling SUPER SHORT shorters. We have media of all sorts giving us adults, whether in real actors or character design, in the roles of young people. (See: "how do you do, fellow kids") We should probably take more care about fandom spaces, so that people of all ages don't feel pressured to engage in sexual shit they're not 100% game for or into, or just have it shoved into their faces without consent. It's a complex issue... and it's not stuff that can just be 'banned' and have that fix it.

AO3 has on its plate a very complex problem that will, if we're all honest, never have a perfect answer. It has given us the best that can possibly be asked for. It obeys the law by not having actual child pornography on it (aka visual proof of actual real children, defined by us law as such), which is closest to "objective" we can get at the current stage in humanity and state of fandom. It has a very comprehensive and moderated tag system, so that people can post warnings along their fic so that people don't stumble onto shit they don't need to, and so that people can moderate their own reading experience to some degree.

If some people aren't comfortable with AO3, that's fine. However, most of us are getting annoyed not with those people, but with the people who just blindly say "AO3 supports child porn and is probably stealing money" (statement simplified for the purpose of this post). It shows an ignorance of the fandom history that lead us here, no understanding in either AO3's practices or how expensive it is to run a site, and no consideration for how complex this problem can really be. It would be great if this was a black and white issue, if there was an easy answer as just "banning" certain kinds of content... but there isn't. And that's where I am.

[angelic-holland]

Alice’s 4k Fic Rec List

Wow! I wanted to thank each and every one of my followers for putting up with me! As a little thank you I wanted to put together this fic rec list of some of my favorite fics. Feel free to send in your own fics and I’ll read as many as I can in my spare time. This is by no means a comprehensive list of fic recs but some of my absolute favorites! My little feedback paragraphs include some spoilers so feel free to skip over them when checking out the fics! 

Peter Parker x Reader

Three Words by @screamholland

Yeah this tore me to pieces! I remember reading it and crying and being like “why must angst hurt me this way” and now I’m addicted to writing angst. The way he looked at you made you feel like a masterpiece displayed in a museum. Yeah! Need Peter Parker to look at me like that. The innocence and beauty of someone’s first love is precious, so fucking precious. 

Band Ten Heart by @robbinholland

This fic is just SO cute. Peter being a fumbling dork is what I live for. The reader describing the cliches of band kid dating tropes hysterical! “Peter Parker, I’m really glad you didn’t quit.” Oh my GOD I squealed when I read that. Clarinet players have talented tongues??? I fucking lost it. Total cute feel good story even though I have no idea how band works, it’s still fucking adorable.

Quantum Heartbreak by @farfromhaz

The title is very very accurate. This fic tore my soul to pieces as I read it. Peter realizing he was gone for three years instead of hours, Peter realizing he has a daughter, the reader having to raise her alone for the first few years, wow that HURTED. But!!! The reader telling Peter she’s pregnant and Peter being so excited about raising his second kid. So bittersweet, absolutely amazing. 

When Peter’s Not Such a Good Boy by @marvelouspeterparker

Oh my god! I have never wanted to dom someone so much. Like the idea of teasing peter is sending me to an astral plane of existence. There are no words to describe how super hot this is. I read this at least once a week. No fucking joke. 

Tom Holland x Reader

We’re Only Kidding Ourselves by @wazzupmrstark

Wow I’ve been reading this series for a LONG time and I’m so in awe of it. It’s so precious, seeing the reader and Tom fall in love. I’m a sucker for enemies to lovers/being forced to work with someone who is a pain in the ass and then finding out they’re secretly a softie. Tom and the reader having those little room service dates? God I lived for it. When they went to the pool at the roof of the hotel oof I lost my MIND. This series is god tier and if you only read one Tom series in your life let it be this one.

Win-Win by @hillsnholland

Making Tom jealous? Oh god I would thrive in that environment. I want that so bad it’s ridiculous. The jealous sex that ensues, hot as fuck! Spanking??? Toms hands were absolutely made for that, there is not enough time to discuss how nice his hands are. Him calling you princess and making you beg for it? Yeah sign me the fuck up! Is there a wait list? I will wait all day. 

Instagram Live by @xoluvx

Tom!!!! Is a grandpa when it comes to technology. This is totally something that idiot would do. Harrison and Zendaya being the cheeky little shits that they are! Hysterical. Plus the smut is hot as fuck. Like i don’t care if the whole world can hear me I just want Tom to dick me down 

Kiss Currency by @madmadmilk

Wow wow wow. First off, Jacky always writes something so incredibly special, like her ability to write inner monologues/thoughts that feel so real and raw? Amazing. I was on the edge of my seat every second while reading this fic. i see “ah clueless idiots in love” and I’m like my kind of story. “I don’t want to see you kissing other people, Babe” duh!!! Reader!!! Ma’am! He likes you!!! anyways this was really cute story and I loved every single little detail from the themed parties to the awkwardness of trying to get a read of a person before admitting to them how you feel. It’s beautiful.

You Again by @strangertingle

Oof this series has me fucking anxious! Every time I get the notif that it’s updated I’m like “eek!” I love the idea that Tom went to California to see about transferring to be with the reader and then through a series of unfortunate events, that didn’t happen. And now here they are! And the reader is like woah maybe I do love Tom imma tell him then BAM! Just kidding! He’s getting married and his fiancée is a schemer! This was the cutest series ever ahhhh

Weekend Getaway by @naturallytom / @hauntedtom

Oof when Ally asked someone to read it I jumped at the chance because I’ve always loved her work. Anyways I adore spooky stuff. I was so fucking terrified the entire time and I loved the fluff to tension to absolute terror to relief Ally built in this story. Just downright amazing.

Up To Your Mouth by @gyllenwh0re 

Wow Alex just knows how to hit every single kink that she could possibly think of in this fic. My jaw was dropped the entire time reading it. Honestly she writes the best most filthy smut on this goddamn website and I always feel so blessed when she posts things because they fuel my wellbeing

Camera Work by @screamsbytom 

Shit I’ve never wanted to make a sex tape so bad. Also Tom being a dumbass and uploading it to the cloud where everyone can see it? Peak chaotic dumbass Tom and it’s 100% something he would do. Tom wanting you hear you moan for him and beg him? Yeah sir I will gladly do just that

You Up? By @thirsttrapholland 

Christ! Fuckboy!tom gets me every time. When he goes and just helps himself to beer I’m like !!! I wanna suck his dick !!! Idk why but Tom being a little asshole but a total softie at heart is such a turn on. Anyways!!!! Lying about missing him even when you really really did? To protect your feelings? Felt that! Nobody likes getting their feelings hurt! 

I Only Feel You by @stuckonspidey

Whew! This fic was absolutely beautifully amazing and devastating. It was so well written, I adore soulmate AUs and this was something else in the best way possible. Like the way the reader was hesitant to join the Holland mob at first, then slowly became okay with it. The push and pull of knowing Tom is her soulmate but being like “I don’t want to put myself in danger” and then deciding she’d ultimately do anything for the person she has grown to love. Wowza! I cant get enough of this fic I try to reread it often.

Goodnight n go by @honeymoonparker

Eek! Looking at the stars with Tom? Biggest goal in life for me tbh. I love the sky and the stars and kissing him underneath the stars? Sign me up for that good shit! Both of them being like aha yeah we’re totally friends aha unless? 👀 too funny I love clueless idiots who have a thing for each other. It’s great. It’s cute, sweet adorable heartwarming I legit read it and go “awwww” every single time. 

It’s Official by @dahliaspidey

Fake dating with Tom? Yes! Clueless idiots in love again? Sign me up! When he gave the reader that bouquet of flowers? Yeah gimme that type of love my dude! Him fumbling over telling the reader how beautiful she is? We love slightly anxious Tom that loves someone but can’t put it in words quickly enough. 

Polo and Prosecco by @keepingupwiththeparkers

Omg this was fucking great. I too do not understand polo but would freely participate for the booze. “You are not getting come on this dress” I YELLED. Because yeah I feel like that would be a bitch to get out??? Also sitting on Tom’s knee/lap yeah sign me up. Katie always writes Tom as such a passionate lover and I feel it in my very soul. 

Lingerie by @mcuspidey

Okay so when is Tom going to buy me expensive lingerie so I can show him??? But seriously lmfao this was so precious and Tom just praising his gal? Yeah sign me UP.

“tattooing all of his favorite curves- that even the lingerie didn’t show off quite as well as his own memory did- with the love that you deserved.” Yeah yeah yeah please I’m here for that I deserve that. Anyways fluffy hot hot stuff 

Harrison Osterfield x reader

Side Effect by @darlingosterfield

I generally don’t read fics with Harrison as the main, like ever. But this series has me hooked! Absolutely hooked! The dynamic between the two of them, the way the reader just really wants to do the god damn assignment but Harrison is a little shit! But he’s also lowkey a big softie. Anyways it’s so beautifully written and I can’t wait to read the rest of it

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

some fun tl;dr advice from your local bookworm and future librarian/information specialist (📖📖📓) about recreational reading, FOR FREE:

as everyone in the country bunkers down to self-isolate themselves and does whatever else to avoid the spreading and catching covid19/coronavirus (both in australia and internationally).....

my one piece of advice for something to do while self-isolating is for people to fill their days up with audiobooks- as there are a few apps and also an entire Internet Archive (internetarchive . org.... i’m only writing it like that to avoid a link lmao)- that allow you to read books for free.

of course, i know many people are obviously actually “working from home” or are about to be working from home- so they’d rather veg out on a netflix binge after a hard day of work. that’s more than fair; after cramming copious amounts of info into several excel spreadsheets; or more than a few “hey, this video meeting literally could’ve been a frickin email, frankston.” meetings etc etc.

but if you run out of things to binge watch/catch up on on netflix et al; get sick of just mindlessly scrolling through your social media feeds and drowning in coronavirus story/status after coronavirus story/status; or even get sick of your self-isolation playlists on spotify or youtube (apparently people are doing this???)- and instead want to fill your brain with idk: a harry potter audiobook, a cookbook (?), some self-help books; or idek maybe some “boring old books” such as wuthering heights or pride and prejudice....

hit up free phone apps like podbean & audiobooks (literally it’s just called audiobooks) or even apple books that comes free with everyone’s iphone (some classic book recordings are literally $1.99!!! cheap as fuckin chips). or, alternatively, you can download free audiobooks (and ebooks) from the internet archive. however, to borrow and read some books on IA, you’ll have to download adobe digital editions (which is also free, but you’ll have to make another free adobe account 🙄).

or.... if you can dig out your long forgotten library cards for the shellharbour or wollongong libraries (or both if you’re lucky: both libraries use the borrowbox app, along with few others, that you can find on their websites)- you can get far more recent books more in the self-help area (à la “everything is fucked: a book about hope”/“the subtle art of not giving a fuck”) or history/science/politics etc (à la 21 lessons for the 21st century)or even just fun kids/YA fiction to get lost in (okay yes harry potter, deltora quest, his dark materials etc etc)- ALL FOR FREE!!! “support your local libraries!” says the grouchy, but lively, librarian.

freeze your brain (not literally, obvs. please don’t go to source out a cryogenics place or buy a slurpee, silly) by throwing yourself into a fictional world and forget about the hell-trash-fire world that we’re currently in, because of the pandemic.

probably, some people will already know about the apps or the internet archive in their millennial “lets get things for free! let’s pirate it or something!” power and nous, that we all have, in this day and age; after growing up with limewire, file2hd and piratebay. hell, we learnt during the juggernaut that was the game of thrones franchise, that australia was probably the best in the world at pirating/torrenting media for free lmao.

of course, there are books- both modern and classic- that you’ll still have to buy on your kindle’s or iphones or google books (or shock! horror! in the last bastion, actual! hard! copy! print!)... unfortunately. but many of them are available on these free apps. again, i must stress, for free. just space yourself out away from covid-19/coronavirus, if only for one hour or a few; reading/listening to an audiobook for free. don’t let your head go to a mud puddle just because you’re off from work for a couple weeks to a month.

addendum: internet archive will also link you to free textbooks sometimes and other free online libraries. bypass audible’s monthly $16.45 monthly subscription fee for audiobooks, if you have time to read, y’all. 

the only obvious thing is that audible has top-notch readers and productions of audiobooks (some with full cast dramatisations), where some of the free or cheap ones have mostly good readers; give or take a few that i can’t/couldn’t stand. but alas, go and get some free knowledge and free books y’all! finally, the best thing about an audiobook is that it’s another voice in your house other than yourself (if you’re living alone or at home alone very often that is lol) and it also makes you feel like you aren’t alone, because there’s another voice around.

okay i know i’ve talked about all of this stuff before on here already; but here’s a more comprehensive post to deal with coronavirus/covid 19. feel free to skip it tbh because i go on about audiobooks etc so often lmao.

[sumeshi-t]

when to shutcho bitchass up.

so i had this long ass reply as i was about to reblog a haikyuu writer’s response to a hate ask but i had to eat lunch, and my wifi’s acting up so it all got deleted. but anyway, after lurking in the shadows for god knows how long, i decided to speak up about this on-going issue of hate being poorly masked as “constructive criticism”. 

it doesn’t just happen on haikyuu blogs, like, every fandom has it. and it saddens me because i’ve seen the greatest blogs out here just vanish into thin air (or has gone on hiatus and never returned/archived the blog/deactivated) for getting hate that they absolutely do not deserve. nobody does. nobody needs that hate; not now not ever. most often than not, there are people who hide behind the anon feature in asks. but i guess some people lately have now learned how to own up to their own mistakes; and yes, everyone’s opinion is valid, is welcome to be entertained; however the way you word these things out also matters. it’s just like when someone writes something, you know? why do you get to complain, “your writing suckxz” when you can’t even write down why you think so? lol gtfo. people can interpret your words in however way they want, and that’s the one thing you cannot control. so at least, when you attempt to apologize for something you “didn’t mean to” or “was just a joke”, at least make it sound like you mean it. if you want your opinion to be taken seriously, learn how to say it with manners.

anyway, this post will be terribly long, probably longer than the shit i’ve ever written anywhere lmao. some of the things i’ll say here might come off as redundant but because the same thing happens over and over again, what else would you expect?

Exhibit A: “constructive criticism” does not mean, or shall never be equated to “hate”

if you go around tumblr, there are tons of posts which educate people how to properly write a critique, how to decently and reasonably critic someone’s work, whether it be in the form of writing, or digital art, etc. even if you type “constructive criticism” on that google search bar, tons of websites are going to tell you how to do it, so it really is unacceptable to use “it’s constructive criticism” as an excuse when all you’ve said is “your writing sucks”. literally, how can “constructive criticism” go from “you’re not even a good writer, why the hype?” to “you’re too positive, too fake, if you’re sad, show that you’re sad.” that ain’t it chief. constructive criticism is given to the works of a content creator, not directed at the content creator itself.

ever heard of the sandwich method? yeah, yummy and easy, right? basically it means, you start it off with the positive things about the content creator, then the negative ones in the middle, then reinforce them at the end. okay, i’ll repeat that here, let me break it down if that isn’t enough for cute little noggins to understand:

tell the content creator what made you hooked on their works in the first place. what made you indulge in all that deliciously free content, that has brought you to tears, to laughs, to orgasm. you don’t necessarily have to praise them, but acknowledge that you’re aware of what they’re doing and how it is, or how their progress is so far.

now here comes the critique part. this where the “however” and the “but” words come in, to transition from (for example) “your way with words is breathtaking” to “sometimes i feel they’re too much to digest all at once”. get it? pinpoint to the content creator just exactly what aspects in their current state do you wish they could improve on, or areas do you think they are lacking or weak, so to speak. be concise, be comprehensive, be nice.

lastly, my favorite part, is you give them tips or advice or just a fucking hint how you think they can achieve the things you said from #2. even if you know or assume that they’d understand your point, or “it’s their job to find it out by themselves”... well, a little input or jumpstart wouldn’t hurt, would it? so from the example, “your way with words is breathtaking” to “(however) sometimes i feel they’re too much to digest all at once” you end it with a, “i think or why don’t you try doing so, and this, and that,”

lemme go back to the “it’s their job to find it out by themselves” aha, news flash honey: this isn’t their job. it’s their way of enjoyment, their leisure, their free time that they use up just to bring out free content for lots of people like you to indulge in. most people come here, or on ao3, or basically anywhere where you can post your work, just for fun. you cannot be demanding, that’s why they have their rules and all, but i digress. content creators feed on feedback, and feedback alone. i hope you have an idea how something as simple as “asdflkjshdls” in the tags can bring a phat smile to a content creator’s face, what more, if it’s something coherent. just fucking keyboard smash is a boost to their confidence (trust me, it’s very fun knowing that how “asdfgjkl” i was when writing something, is the same as the “asdfgjkl” the readers had when reading)

this sandwich method thing doesn’t only apply to this certain situation. in fact, this is an effective means of communicating your point across to people in school, at work, and even in the comforts of your home. right? 

didn’t you feel bad when your teacher returned your paper to you and just said, “i gave you that grade just because” and nothing more? or when that classmate of yours said, “no, i don’t like this idea. think up of something else” for a project? didn’t you ever question them, “why, and on what basis?” 

how about, when your boss returned your report, only saying, “revise this” but what is “this”? sure, there are bosses who do this to try to teach their employees to find things out and find solutions on their own, but you cannot deny that some are just being disgustingly rude about it. 

how about at home you say? well... remember that time when your parents compared you to their friends’ children, or even compared you among your own siblings? or that time you were lashed out on? actually, you know, what, i’m sorry for bringing this up, as light as this was worded out, some people might get triggered simply from those two phrases i put out. however, i will address this issue next.

Exhibit B: you don’t know the people you are talking to, therefore you do not know what they are going through

you can’t say, “oh, you’re all just so sensitive” or “it’s just an opinion” when clearly, this (tw: depression, suicide, family issues, gender and sexuality, body positivity, etc) topics is/are sensitive to most content creators, to most people. some brush it off fine, and take a while to reach their boiling point, but not everyone’s like that. you can’t tell people how they should react to your random spewing of hate. each person has their own level of tolerance, so don’t go off and assume that everybody online is the same and grew from the same fucking tree. 

some or most people use writing/drawing/etc. as a means to cope with what shit life has thrown at them; and then you, being so stupidly ignorant, just waltz in and drop that bomb on what possibly, could be the only ray of sunlight they have in their life, especially now in this bleak year. 

receiving anon-hate or hate-asks should not be the norm. it is not and never will be okay. i thought you were here to critic their work, why even joke about something that could have been personal to someone? why even joke about these kinds of things in the first place? why even bring up something that might have been a personal issue when all you had to do was critic their work? 

my god, stop acting like a boomer already. tbh the audacity of some people here, idk. if you’re not going through anything at all, then may god/brahma/allah/whichever supreme being you believe in or whatever good karma it is, bless you. 

it’s not that one should sympathize, or, it isn’t also expected of people to full on empathize, but a little respect goes a long way. why don’t we try to put ourselves in the shoes of the person we’re about to send that hate-ask to. if not us, how about that close friend who’s easy to bring to tears, or mom, or cousin? wouldn’t it be aggravating? wouldn’t it be painful?

well... who am i to assume, i don’t even know you. get it?

just please, acknowledge that everyone here is human. they have emotions, they have their own thoughts, they have their own lives outside of the screen. how they choose to portray themselves here has nothing to do with you. how they choose to react to that hate ask doesn’t have to do with anything you should concern yourself with. 

LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS. LET PEOPLE LIVE THEIR LIFE THEIR OWN WAY, both virtual and in reality. 

i know this post won’t get too far, but i have had enough of seeing the nicest people, who just wanted to express their creativity and share the happiness and the fun, be put down just because of unnecessary hate. i hope those people who send those in never get to experience that, or if they have, i hope they understand that doing so to others isn’t going to change anything about themselves.

[ripuels]

Rival Gangs AU: warnings of blood, violence, swearing, bruising, etc.

For @annabellioncourt thank you!

(This got too long so I’m publishing as a text post to use a Read More that’ll actually work. This website is amazing. Really. Also I’m Very Tired, sorry if the editing looks like a four year old did it)

“Are you the one who's been following me? Stalking me?”

Amanda had recognised the eyes straight away, the depth of brown peering over a khaki bandana, pinched tight over his nose and tied at the base of his neck. The switchblade pressing against his throat shaves a tuft of green from it. 

“Fucking answer me, pretty boy.”

His hand moves gingerly as if he were defusing a bomb, a knife rolls from his fingers and clatters into the blue metal like a gunshot in the dark.

“I’m sorry, Ripley.” The synthetic with every reason to flinch doesn't. This woman, more leather and machine grease than human, holding him fast against the tunnel wall, shivers with unpredictability. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You couldn't scare me if you tried. Fuck,” she grimaces against the fading adrenaline, leaving her a dizzy creature, a lamb, holding up a lion. 

They both know a severed throat wouldn't do much to stop a berserk synthetic, especially not with her struggling grip. He stands still regardless, unfazed by the threat. 

“How the hell did you even find me, Samuels?” 

He glances to the blood leading down the train line. A dot-to-dot probably leading all the way from the outskirts of snob-hill to here, X marks the spot right over his chest, staining his cashmere sweater.

Amanda grunts in comprehension and shoves herself off the wall, leaving him to brush his clothes smooth. “Okay, good point.”

Samuels wishes it wasn't. “You've lost a lot of blood. Are you alright?” 

“Fucking peachy.” She says, retreating onto her gang's side of the tracks, replacing the switchblade into her leather jacket with incomprehensible speed. “Wish I could say the same about my bike, I swear to God, if there's so much as a scratch on it, I’ll kill the lot of ‘em.”

She brushes her fingers back through her hair, her hood falling down and he pans over her injuries.

“What happened to you?”

Ripley scoffs in disbelief, leaning a heavy shoulder into the dark emergency alcove. “Like you don't know.”

“I was told nothing more than they intended to attack. They know I'm conflicted by protocols. That I struggle in a fight. I think they try to be kind by not inviting me.”

“Or they know you'll get in their way.” Which he does, far too often to go unnoticed by David. “You're too good for this life, Samuels. It's going to catch up to you one day, believe me.”

This synthetic's deep frown flinches, easing to something far, far worse. Sadness. After all this time, after so many close encounters with others like him, she'd never seen one be that before. 

“Was no big deal.” Amanda can't bare his gaze. “Got jumped behind the garage when everyone fucked off home, too pissed to ride. Fucking cowards, I got shoved in a boot, driven out, and I got away, but... Well,” she gestures vaguely at her face. “It's obvious they didn't want to kill me.”

Christopher knows it's because she would absolutely be dead, and they'd have war on their hands. No, this freckle of red and staining of blue was a scare tactic, an obviously ineffective one as she winces her next breath. Heavy, resolute. Plotting. 

“They shouldn't have been on your side of town.” His voice sounds accusing, but for what it's unclear. 

“I didn't fucking provoke them, if that's what you're asking. Your lil' biker gang of Decepticon wannabees probably just don’t like the fact we kicked your ass in the park district. It's ours now. You want it back? Fine, time and place. Name it.” 

“I personally couldn't care less.” Samuels says rather than stating her very existence seems to egg his crew, his family, on. “I'm worried why you were left alone in the first place, is there still no honour amongst thieves?”

“It's Sunday.��� Amanda shrugs as though it explains everything. “Believe it or not, we don't live to terrorize you, we all have jobs to go to tomorrow. Real lives outside this territorial bullshit. To be honest though,” she trembles to dab her brow and winces, a bruise beginning to darken the outer corner of her eye. “I could really use a day off.”

“I'm sorry.” He mumbles and it surprises her.

“Why? You had nothing to do with it. Funnily enough, you never do.” 

“Yes, I did.” A hardness sets in Samuels' gaze, the purity and innocence vanishing in a heartbreaking fall. She can't help but feel as though it's like an angel from grace. “I could have warned you, but by the time I heard-” 

“Shit, Samuels. Don't start blaming yourself, you would'a been killed for stepping foot over the tracks anyway, let alone coming to the workshop. You didn't do anything wrong, I know that. We're good.” It kills to give her direct rival such power. “And yeah, we might be from different worlds completely, but I don't let the actions of some reflect on the whole thing.” 

“Who was it?” He doesn't need to ask, just go back to the clubhouse and see who's missing teeth or some digits. Find someone sourcing parts for repair. “Ash? David?”

“Doesn't matter who it was, they'll be on their guard for a bit now. No need to protect them.” The quiet rage surprises them both, just as genuine as it is violent. “Yet.”

“Please, don’t do this.” Despite all the warnings in his programming, Samuels steps over, ducking into the small archway she's hunkering in. “I’m sick of the bloodshed, on both sides. I'm thinking about- No, I am certain. I'm out, Ripley.”

“You think so, do you?” 

“Yes.” He says in a way that makes her believe him. “I can't see people like this anymore, I can't keep repairing my friends and pretending that it's not all for nothing. That they aren't terrible enough they can do this to you, a human. That you, or one of your friends won't kill us in a few months when tensions run high again anyway.”

Tensions are always high, Amanda thinks as he moves towards her, licking his thumb and scrubbing at a spot of blood on her cheek. It makes no difference in the grand scheme, one mark amongst hundreds. He licks it again and she recoils, almost in disgust, but he stares like steel, nonchalantly taking to the mass of red on her cheekbone. She winces, but doesn't pull away.

“You look a mess.” Samuels hums thoughtfully, tugging his bandana off his neck and sucking on a corner, using it to clean her lip. “They shouldn't have gone this far.”

“Had worse. Done worse.” 

“Seen worse.” He states flatly. “Doesn't mean it's not upsetting to me.” 

“To your protocols.” Amanda doesn't mean to make it sound so much like a weakness, rather than she actually admired it about this one. 

“That too.”

“Speaking of which, since when have you been carrying a knife?” Amanda cocks her head away into his other palm under her ear, a little skeptic, a little in pain. “You expecting a fight or something?”

“With Amanda Ripley involved, always.” He says deadpan, but there's an attempted note of humour in his voice. Her reputation is littered in grey, some awful things proven to be small town gossip; and other more harrowing tales that perhaps only he knows, absolute truth. “But it wasn't for you, I was worried about being followed.”

“Like you were following me?” Her voice finally cracks in good humour, it's short lived but Samuels falters. 

“Just- keep still, will you?”

“Yes, okay, Christopher.” How anyone with a self appointed ID like that ended up in any gang at all is beyond her. She nudges him. “What the hell kind of name is Christopher anyway? Doesn’t exactly scream synthetic delinquent.”

“Like you're one to talk,” he finally smiles, “Amy.” 

They fall into a relaxed silence in the dim, a damp trickle of moisture running from the overpass nearby, fog rolling in down the way. They are relatively secluded, the green exit sign casting them both in a nebulous glow as her wounds are silently tended to in less than sanitary conditions. His eyes leave the mess of injury for hers every few seconds, searching for a tell of her discomfort. Of course it is always relative. Now, it's not so much his proximity to her that's cranking at her anxiety, but the thought that if he was seen on their turf, even by a metre or two, he'd be killed. If they were seen so close, they both might be, the speed of which would depend on who came across them first. 

She remembers Zula, the best damn right hand Amanda ever had, and that Davis, he was alright for a military device. They'd been chased to the edge of the world when David found out about them. They were nothing more than friendly, familiar, but they've yet to stop running for it. An anonymous letter is delivered every now and again, no return address, but one day, she knows they're going to stop. 

This, she thinks, is far too close to that.

“What is it?” Christopher asks the darkening of her face, the silence waning of it's humour. 

“Why the hell are you here? You know if I'm seen with you they'll fucking kill me.” She pushes off the wall, nearly right into his chest. Though her stature is found sorely wanting, her entire demeanour screams louder than Samuels ever could in raw, fearsome, violence. Barely contained in a 5’ 5 cage. “Get the fuck out of here Samuels, before you get us both-”

She swallows her words as his lips crash onto her own, hesitating briefly until her hands take his jaw with a demanding hardness. Shoving herself into him, they hit the far wall hard enough to encourage a deep grumble amongst a slew of colourful names for idiocy, and more specifically, him. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Her body presents no complaint. “Chris- think about this.”

“I am- I have.” He brushes down to her neck, detects her tensing, pushing back harder as he finds a firm lump of bruise. A footprint. Fucking David.

It's a wonder what it would be like to feel, anything, let alone pain, learn what about it grounds this woman. It would be a fair deal, he supposes, to have a sense of the worst rather than nothing at all

“Then you're an idiot and a deadman.”

“You don't scare me, Amy.” He says as her angry kisses take control of him. Holding her, bloody and bruised, just tight enough to hurt in all the places it doesn't yet, until his systems blare that it's too much. That it encourages the alarming grip she has of his hair or neck or shoulders. 

“I should.” She hisses in response.

Christopher knows it too. The ghastly stories she had whispered, melting from her lips as her icy exterior thaws over his chest. Her leather and flannels, his denim and cashmere, both of their embroidered patches, all scattered over the floor of dingy motels. Completely bare together, stripped of identity in the next town over, then the next. Riding further and further until one day they might never stop. 

Never need to retreat with their fallen. To lick wounds. To prepare for next time. 

Next time. 

Because there were plenty. So often they met on the field, in the canyon, at the lookout, her hands stained white taking life, his red from saving it. For years Christopher would always find her after the fights by an upturned motorcycle, pacing at an old inn or bar, fingers through her hair, and he'd lead them to a room. They'd find relief from the wounds and the damage, the over-stimulation and adrenaline. Take whatever was left out on each other. It became their ritual.

Now, just like every other time, he takes the side of her face, but offers something new. “Leave with me. Right now. For good. Don't make me beg.” 

“What?” Her lips are yet to leave his, but Samuels' eyes open to slits, slowly pulling away to gauge her. 

“Why do we ever come back, Amy? We know how to get out, in the chaos of the aftermath, we abandon our people to fuck in cheap rooms and play it off as hunting down each other's stragglers. How long do you think we can keep this lie up? How long until they learn where we really go?” Samuels allows himself to lean in, accept a kiss that feels awfully final as her hands grow unbearably tight at his shoulders, taking him by the collar with a rough shake. 

“Jesus, Chris, you can’t be serious. Open your Goddamn eyes.” A demand weaponized by a glance down, their different attire barely touching at the chest but worlds apart, threatening to collide like two orbits never meant to meet. On course to implode, or burn out. It's impossible to tell. “Look at us. I’m a greaser. A criminal. I darken the city with a pitch black bike, and run red into the streets. I am a fucking menace to society just like the rest of us. And you, fuck, you’re a synthetic with a heart of gold. And if you- if you let me, I’m going to ruin that. Ruin you. Shit, I mean you already look forward to the turf wars, because you know what comes after.”

“I do not look forward to them, but being there means I can keep an eye out for you if you need.” His gaze moves away lazily, unapologetic. “They do herald the time we spend together, but it's not that which I like. It's the fact we can escape for a while, just us. A breath of fresh air amongst all of this.”

“And we come back because we know they’ll-” her voice cracks, “they'll find us. Out there is a big fucking world that we already know we can't hide in, we'd never find peace. There's no future, not for me and you.”

“What are you saying?” 

“I mean.” She stands back again. Breaking away. “I mean I'm out too. Of this. Of us.”

His face, already torn between sadness and fear, falls further. “Do you think there is peace here? At least we have a chance out there. Movement, that's what will keep us safe. On the road, under the sun and stars, rain and shine, I don't fucking care. As long as you say you'll come.”

“Samuels, we’ve tried before, to run,” she mumbles softly, “and we were caught. Hurting the others, I don't give a shit, you know I fucking don't, but having to hurt you-”

“Do not dare blame yourself.” He says sternly, holding his shoulder where a long jagged ridge of repaired silicone pushes back. “I didn't feel a thing. They had to believe me, it was the only way.”

“No,” the tremble cheats the strength in her voice, in her eyes. A hundred times he’d looked into them and not seen this. “There was another way, there was always another way, we just don't want to admit it.” 

“And I never will. You cannot convince me to move on, to leave you.”

“You have to. My people will try to kill me, and they'll definitely kill you, and-”

“Then I'll die.”

“Christopher...” She closes the gap between them, hesitant and desperate arms crashing around each other. No longer willing to exchange needy kisses, but fill a void. Squeeze so hard his respiratory system freezes. “Where are we meeting this time?”

“Pardon?”

“I need to get my bike, and you need to get off this side of town. But then what?”

He frowns deeply, for the first time he doesn't want to go through with it. “For our usual rendezvous?”

She convinces herself to back away, catching the last fragments of him like this, his fingers loosening their suddenly paper gentle grip on her waist. “I've been called many things, Christopher Samuels, but never shy of a challenge. Let's get the fuck out of here.”

Chris takes a step forward but stops, “Amanda,” he whispers, not wanting to ask if she's serious, strain this already brittle, whimsical promise. “Sunrise. The lookout.”

“Be there. Oh, and one more thing?” She calls back down the tracks, “I love you.” Her voice echoes in the dark long after she's gone. 

[surflove808]

On Destiel and endgame hysteria

Sometimes I get fired up about some of the BS I see in this fandom and this is one of those moments.  This post will be a layercake of sentimentality, disappointment, anger and maybe a wee bit (a lot) of profanity.  So, you know. Back on my bullshit.

The show that we love, love to hate or hate to love, for better or worse, will see it's final curtain call at the S15 finale.  You don't need me to tell you how impactful it's been and how much it means to so many people for a variety of reasons that extend well beyond it's entertainment value.  All it takes is one scroll through social media to get a sampling of the reach of this little-show-that-could and by extension (and because of) it's cast, to see that it's beloved by so many.  And it deserves the praise, and the end deserves to be lamented - but like TFW has said over and over, and to paraphrase Frank Sinatra, they're doing it their way.  For that?  I'm happy.

The show has been described as a "juggernaut" and an "institution", and it is.  We all know the themes:  Finding *your* family, struggle, perseverance, dedication, making mistakes and not always learning from them (but trying), acceptance, the beauty in humanity even when all hope seems lost, redemption, and love... to name the big ones. Now about Love.  "Love" is not threatening to burn down houses if your ship isn't made canon.  "Acceptance" isn't threatening the cast, crew, producers and network with lawsuits if your ship isn't made endgame.  I saw a few posts like that today that had a very disappointing number of likes and reblogs and I'm kinda furious, to be honest.  You fucking twits.

As someone who enjoys the show, and respects the determination, sacrifice, hard work, creativity, and yes - Love -  that has been poured into this endeavor, I don't think I'm alone when I say -  JUST. STOP.  You whining, tantrum throwing, self-important, "wouldn't catch a social cue if it had a $100 bill attached to it and was tossed to you from 3 feet away", obnoxious, divisive children.  

Accept what the cast, the writers and Eric Freaking Kripke have told you?  No... can't do that.  Must hop from one lily pad of delusion to the next and have the gall to be self righteous about it.  And then pat yourselves on the back for being alternately clever, threatening and obtuse.  You're like the Donald Trumps of the SPN fandom.  You're not disliked because of your ship.  You're disliked because of your personalities.  Let that sink in.  No one is marginalizing you.  You chose to do this to yourselves AND your beloved ship via your words and actions.  You sunk your own battleship and now you’re pissed.  

I don't affiliate myself with any ship or the other factions of this fandom.... I don't get it.  I'm just a fan.  A fan of the story, the acting, the tragedy, the comedy, the characters and the character of the actors involved.  I don't know what a good "fan" is... don't care.  But I know what a bad one is.  A bad one thinks that they can take ownership of someone else's art just because they've "invested" in it. 

And I apply it to my own life in this way - Here I am doing my thing, putting my creativity out into the world... and what I create matters to me.  Every little bit.  I throw myself into the things I'm passionate about.  And not everyone is going to be thrilled with what I produce.  Some people will never see what I put out there, but word travels fast when you genuinely care about your craft.  I do what I do because it drives me, and always has.  And I do my best to stay true to MY story.  And the thought of someone trying to insert themselves into my story because they think they know my creations better than I do, makes me want to punch throats.  

And the thought of a group of people actually threatening me and the people I collaborate with because I'm not making their fantasy a reality??  Hey - get fucked sideways without lube, and throw some sand in there for extra discomfort.

I want you (and you know who you are) to have some accountability.  Please tell me in what scenario is your behavior warranted or appropriate.  Feel free to DM me.  I won't "out" you, and I'll never be abusive - I just need to know why.  (bullet pointing this because... reading comprehension)

1.  WHY is Destiel is the only representation you'll accept.  

2.  WHY do you think it's funny or "OK" to harass the creatives on this show constantly when you have absolutely no right to their story?  

3.  WHY do you think that pushing something so hard will get you what you want? 

4,   And lastly.... WHY is this so important to you? 

Can you possibly survive if Destiel isn't made canon?  Do you have other hobbies and interests that can fill your time?  Because some of ya'll are acting like this is the Be All End All of your existence and I'm here to tell you - it's really not.  If it DOES happen, it will be at the discretion of the showrunner and creatives, and I promise you it won’t be because they caved to the small, yet omnipresent faction of Destiehellers that have annoyed the ever-living fuck out of everyone attached to this show.  It’ll be on their terms.

The tantrum strategy stops working after age 4, usually....it just seems some of you are late getting the memo.  Thanks to your folks.  Well done.

Try to appreciate the show for what it is and always has been.  If your expectations are unreasonable and are buoyed by years of manips, misquotes and over-analyzation of brief "moments" between ANY characters, and you feel emotional enough about it to behave badly - it's time for a factory reset.  This show has never mislead you - you’ve bought into delusion and over-analysis and straight-up fiction pimped to you by fellow “fans” probably before you even watched your first episode.  It’s the weirdest thing I’ve seen.  And I’ve seen some shit. 

If you’re going to be angry... be angry at your friendly neighborhood Destiel dealer.  They chumped you to get more *buy* for their *supply*.  Them’s the facts.

That being said.... Can We Just Appreciate The Final Moments That This Amazing Cast And Crew Are Going To Give Us (and you know they will), And Let It The Fuck GO?  

You're welcome to block me (you probably should).  But before you do that, could you let this sink in a bit?  And if you see a fellow shipper being an entitled  douche - maybe hold yourself to a higher standard than they do themselves and don't perpetuate it/like/reblog it?  Because this behavior is well and truly a shitty way to treat the legacy of this groundbreaking show, and all those that are responsible for bringing it to life. 

In other words....Behave.  And have some goddamn dignity.

I’m not sure if I’m doing this right, but my response was so long.  Eh...whatever.  @jessiegail   I understand, and please allow me to elaborate. When I was scrolling through the Jensen tags (because the Dean and SPN tags have been overrun by a lot of people with zero respect for the character/show canon, so I stay away anymore.  That in and of itself should tell you something)... I was also sharing in the moment, and the news and wanted to see some SPN love and positivity. What I ran into almost immediately was, and I quote: "If they don't make destiel cannon (sic) for the series finale, I'll set their houses on fire. You've been warned." 87 people agreed with @moosewncstr on this sentiment.  Now... if it was one shitty person and people steered clear of any affiliation with them for threatening arson because they're completely off their fucking rocker.... that would be easy to ignore.  But 87 people??  That’s really, really bad. What I'm seeing and have been seeing, is a hive-mind mentality that doesn't care for acceptance. Doesn't care if it’s abusive. Doesn't care if someone gets their “feelings” hurt. And they absolutely Do Not Care if what they say incites the potential reality of violence, as long as they can force their ship down the throats of as many people as possible and Make It Canon.  

And by hive-mind, I mean - NO ONE in the Destiel camp seems to have the degree of autonomy (AKA:  Balls) required to rein in the bad apples in their bunch.  They either agree or stay silent.  So, because you can’t self-regulate, people like me with no concern or desire for your approval have to come in and tell you to knock your shit off.  You won’t.  But I feel better.  And maybe others will feel more comfortable to express their disapproval when shit like this rears its ugly head. Anyone who would think threats (just a joke...hahaha), are acceptable, and those who are in agreement can suck it. And i will not roll over and sing kumbaya with anyone who thinks this is ok. I'm generally careful with the headers and lead-in paragraphs to posts that are potentially inflammatory. A courtesy that is not extended by your brethren. You had ample warning that this post would not be kind to asshole shippers. I don’t think you are one of those people - but, if you’re defending this behavior, I can’t really empathize with you.  I also don’t want you to feel targeted.  This isn’t about YOU.  This is about endemic behavior that has become so toxic, it pretty much can’t be undone. As for paying anything forward, I do not owe people who act like this the time of day, much less a kind word. I have 2 choices:  I can stand by and pretend I don't see these things and block, block, block so that I can stay in my bubble. Or, I can take my own little stand on my own little blog and address genuinely disturbing behavior using language of my choice. What I will never do is threaten or abuse any individuals who question my logic. Downside is... you'll get a very long winded explanation. Go, be happy. Enjoy your ship. No one is telling you not to. I'm telling you right now, though - I can't and won't tolerate the bad apples. Best to block me if you're sensitive to the way I word my posts, but understand - I'm not promoting hate or abusive behavior - I'm fighting it. And I will continue to do so as long as I'm on this dumpster fire of a website, because I love this show and I believe all of the creative's, crew and fans deserve some fucking respect.

[its-chotime]

Groceries in the Time of COVID-19, Part 2

I’ve been hesitant to write this but because I still see a lot of people on my street and people sharing on Instagram all these ridiculous recipes that require a million ingredients that most people don’t have slash people going on FREQUENT jaunts outside (oh the audacity!), here I go.  In the words of my friend, “...and if we eat only pasta with black pepper, we’re still gonna make it.” Throw in a canned protein source but the point is this: you need less than you think to survive. Right now is not the time for every luxury you feel entitled to.  First off, read this comprehensive Food Safety and Coronavirus Guide by Kenji Lopez (author of The Food Lab). He’s a writer I trust and he explains how to reduce risk when grocery shopping, ordering deliveries, etc.  Next, here’s where I am getting food deliveries from in Paris.

*I will not promote Deliveroo, UberEats, or INSERT WHATEVER DELIVERY CORPORATION HERE right now. The delivery folks were exploited even before a pandemic and they are being exploited now. They are underpaid, have very little labor AND health protection, etc. Not to mention how these companies fuck restaurants with their high cuts. Don’t believe me? Read this (EATER) about what shit GrubHub is pulling in the US. Do what you think is best. 

IMPORTANT: I feel guilty from privilege when I think of the warehouse, delivery, grocery store folks, sanitation workers, etc. who are working tirelessly right now (often underpaid work). They truly are the ones keeping the world going right now. So do your part: don't go to the grocery store if you’re sick, abide by the “no contact” delivery rules, etc. Please put yourselves in their shoes.  1. KOREAN GROCERIES:

I’m living without my favorite Korean butcher cuts. It’s hard but I’ll be fine. Kmart and Ace is within the 2 km radius I’m allowed to roam freely with an attestation in but I will not put myself or others at risk. I’m using the packaged steaks I bought in lieu of other cuts but using sesame oil and jangs (Korean fermented pastes). It’s good enough. 

I bought some last minute Korean snacks and essentials from Coreewa. They delivery all over France via Choronpost Fresh in 2-3 days. I appreciate they they sell refrigerated, like kimchi, and frozen goods, like bibigo mandu. Delivery fees reasonable. 

Another option for those in Paris is Ace Mart Online Delivery. I used it and it was great!!! Delivery the next day except for the weekends for purchases over 80EUR. Website is available in French and Korean. 

2. AMERICAN GROCERIES

This is really my favorite secret but I am sharing because it’s a tough time and as an American away from home, I really know how important it is to have food that feels like home. US FOODZ is a Dutch company that has all your cravings: Hot Cheetos, Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing (they sell out fast!), Kraft Mac N Cheese, Reese’s, and more. 

I ordered like the week before the lockdown and got my box in 24 hrs. Orders only over 50EUR are accepted and start at 9EUR, free delivery starts at 75EUR. They also have super rare Japanese snacks, like funky Pringles and Kit Kat flavors. Gods are real, yes? 

My American Market isn’t my cup of tea. Don’t tell me, “there’s also My American Market.” I do my research and I am really good at using the Internet.  3. REGULAR GROCERIES 

I haven’t gone outside once other than to meet a delivery but I plan to go grocery shopping every 10-14 days if I’m feeling healthy. For those who are feeling sick, DO NOT go outside. Consider these grocery delivery services:

Monoprix

Amazon Prime Now with Naturalia, Monoprix, and Casino 

La Belle Vie (1 hour delivery and omg check out their Asian stuff!!!)

Frichti Super Marché (good meats and cheeses, more affordable than you would think)

Epicery (I have yet to use this service but great for those who are looking for specific things, like a roast chicken or stuff from an Italian epicure)

4. BREAD DELIVERY 

As soon as my chiffon pink Le Creuset dutch oven arrives, it’s gonna be fresh bread (no knead but also gonna try sourdough) but Circus Bakery has Flyin Circus. You can do same day afternoon delivery or preorder for the next day for those in “Paris Center.” In addition to most of their bread, they have their famous buns as bigger ribbons for 12EUR! 

5. DIRECT FROM PRODUCERS 

The amazing humans over Collège Culinare de France (an association that celebrates and promotes French cuisine, made up of artisans / producers and chefs / restaurants) have created a map that shows all their producers / artisans/ restaurants that are still open for pick up and deliveries. To order food online, from some of the best meat in France to cheese to  fresh  produce, check out the link here. I am looking forward to ordering some steaks! 

PRO TIP: Also check out their Instagram stories as they continually share amazing producers who have some lockdown DEALS. 

6. FRESH PRODUCE IN PARIS

I’ve never shopped here but this BELOVED maraîcher from Marché d'Aligre has set up a delivery system for his products. All details below:

<< Bonjour. Contenu des événements récents, nous vous proposons un SERVICE DE LIVRAISON À DOMICILE de Fruits et Légumes, Fruits Éxotiques et Volailles.

Vous nous avez laisser vos coordonnées sur notre stand « Gautier, Producteur » du marché d'Aligre. N’hésitez pas à communiquer ce mail à votre entourage. Nous livrons Paris et la petite couronne.

Tarif des livraisons : Paris rive Gauche 5 euros Paris rive Droite 8 euros Petite couronne 10 euros

En pièce jointe, le document « MERCURIALE PRODUIT » à remplir absolument. Veuillez remplir la totalité des informations afin de faciliter la logistique et notre travail.

Je reste à votre entière disposition pour plus d’information. N’hésitez pas à me contacter avec les coordonnées ci-dessous.

Dorian Gautier, Gérant Producteur de Fruits et Légumes de saison - BIO LA POMME DE PARIS Le tuffeau 72500 LA BRUERE SUR LOIR Tel : 0776340774 >>

I’ve uploaded their price list and delivery form here.

Lastly, if you’re having a difficult time coming up with ideas on how to eat under lockdown, feel free to contact me (eileenc92@gmail.com). I can help brainstorm ideas and would be more than happy to write out recipes using what you have for you. Konbini Food also has been sharing simple recipe tutorials using pantry staples since the beginning of the lockdown.

Stay safe and stay home, my friends! 

[furbyfubar]

How's Sweden? 🇪🇺🇸🇪❤️

In what context? Do you mean for the country as a whole or what? Big question...

Never mind, I get few enough asks here that I can give you a more comprehensive answer. I'll use it as an excuse to take stock of my personal trends against those of my country? Sorry not sorry for the incoming wall of text. Note, this is why you shouldn't say "How do you do?" to anyone from Sweden; we're tragically likely to give you an honest answer!

Weather for Sweden: You're UK based, so lets go by stereotypes and start with talking about the weather I suppose? It's winter, so the weather here is *usually* quickly summed up as "dark". Right now Sweden has between ~7 hours 15 minutes of time between sun up and sun down in the far south of Sweden, and "fuck you" minutes of sun on the far north, where it's currently polar night until about two weeks into January. On top the normal lack of sun, Sweden got an early Autumn this year and had less actually sunny days than usual in October and November due to clouds. So yeah, vitamin D deficiency for about 25% of the population according to my doctor. And many of the ones avoiding a deficiency are doing it by eating supplements. On a longer time scale, ”climate” not “weather”... Yeah, we’ve been having heat records broken and all that shit here the past few years as as well while having some winters be worse due to the Gulf stream being messed up..

Rating: 3.5/10  – It sucks, but it's not much worse than the expected level of suckiness?Weather for me personally: I'm based in Stockholm and we're currently at 6½h of sun up time per day, but like I said, it’s been cloudy. Not so cold so far though. The problem for me personally is that when the sun goes down at 14:52 I often miss out on the sun completely due to my fucked up sleeping patterns. Or the sun is up but covered while I’m going to work and that's it for sunlight that day. I'd likely suffer from winter depression if only I could separate it from my normal depression. We’ve had some snow that stays on the ground, but we’re somewhat surprisingly not in the hell that is streets filled with snow-water slosh yet.

Rating: 3.5/10 – I don’t think the weather sucks more or less for me than it does for the country on average. (Places north of the polar circle excluded; I would really no be able to stand months of polar night.)

Health for Sweden: Sweden made #6 on the Bloomberg 2019 Healthiest Country Index, up two positions from 2017. Up from a score of 88.92 to 90.24 out of 100, so apparently it's not just other countries having worse health, things have gotten a bit better here.Rating: 9.24/10 – Well, Bloomberg hopefully put a lot more effort into their score than I’ll ever do, so I’ll just re-scale and steal it. 

Health for me personally: I had to basically skip a year due depression and exhaustion. Not being able to work due to a non-functioning brain obviously sucks, but to bring this back to how Sweden is: Being able to be on sick leave for almost a year and thus being able to focus on getting medication that works for me and not being worried about getting evicted for not making rent is a blessing. I'm back to working part time since October while still on sick leave for 50%, trying to ease me back in to the productive work force. So far going well. If I’d been forced to somehow work or starve, or live off my parents or something instead, I’m pretty sure I’d either be much deeper in depression right now, or be dead. I’ve still not really found meds that work great for me, but I'm feeling much better than I was a year ago.

Rating: 3/10 – I'm as optimistic as a clinically depressed person gets to be.

Status politically for Sweden (as I see it personally): It's getting more fucked by the day. The Moderate party just broke their campaign promise to not cooperate with the Sweden Democrats, a party born from neo-Nazi and white power movements. For UK context, think of the British National Party. Now imagine them going from a fringe group in the '90s to getting 20% of the votes in recent polls. They've been doing this all while having a whole bunch of scandals that would've hurt or killed the credibility of any non-fascist party. They're racist, homo- and transphobic, and operate their own alternative media that have ties to Russian disinformation efforts. So yeah, as a gay guy who's seen the inside of a few history books: Outlook not great.

Rating: 2/10 – If only because it can still get worse. Think first act of Cabaret.

Love life for Sweden: Hmm, check in on satwcomic.com I suppose?

Love life for me personally: Yes please? I've been single for longer than I'm willing to admit. I've barely dated anyone for ages due to my aforementioned depression making me not feel like someone worth dating. Also, there's some types of vitamin D deficiencies that eating supplements won't cure...

Rating: I really don't want to put a number on this so I won’t. Honestly, graphing out my love life numerically doesn't sound all that productive. But somewhere at the edge of the Bell curve is the guy for me?

Economically for Sweden: Sweden's been in a upward business cycle since 2016, but it's ebbing out and is expected to be balanced sometime next real. Ie, things have been good, but things aren't quite yet bad. Rating: 5.5/10 – I suppose? Not really my area of expertise.

Economically for me personally: Not complaining at all on this front. I got an IT job four years ago after having worked part time in retail for a bunch of years and having been a student before that. I've managed to not raise my monthly expenses even nearly as much as my pay went up. So while I’m not wealthy, I'm still surprised by being able to have a savings account that grows steadily and still having more spending money over each month.

My rating: 8/10 – This quote by Charles Dickens comes to mind: “Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.” 

Social life in Sweden: According to this article I just Googled up from half remembering reading in 2015, “The expat quality of life survey" published by HSBC, Sweden was the worst country for the category "Making friends". Looking at the data on HSBC's website we're apparently no longer dead last as a place to be making friends, we're now 31st out of the 33 countries listed, with Japan at 32nd place and Saudi Arabia last at 33rd. The United Kingdom is at 29th.

It is close to impossible to make friends here by talking to random strangers in most situations, as only weird people talk to strangers. Of course that mentality is self-fulfilling since if you assume any stranger talking to you is weird, drunk, or high, you will not want to make friends with strangers that talk to you, and you won't want to talk to strangers more than you have to or risk being branded weird. Even striking up random conversations at a pub will be more difficult here. 

But don’t despair, there’s a trick! Find the few social situations where Swedes want to talk to people they don't know: This is done by joining some organization or club of some sort. It doesn't really matter if it's a board gaming group, a student group, doing volunteer work for the local Pride or some other NPO or if it's a club for people who really like a certain breed of dogs. Once we've decided that we're among our own kind of people (and I don't mean "other Swedes") we'll happily talk to strangers, and not only about subjects related to that specific organization. Step two is converting them to be your friends and not just some randos you can talk to at some club meeting. I’m sad to say that traditionally this is done with alcohol, either by dragging people along to a pub/bar, or by inviting them or being invited by them to some sort of party. Without alcohol the fallback is fika. If the organization you’ve joined is something that you will naturally be spending time doing outside of the organization or club meetings that’s also ideal. Once you’ve invited or been invited to a few things outside of the organization it’s not strange to invite them to other social things than what the organization cares about.

For fairness to anyone reading this that didn’t read the article: I should probably also mention that the same HSBC study had Sweden as the top country in Europe for “overall quality of life” for expats here. And third best in the world, just behind Singapore and New Zealand in the same category. "Swedes make great friends but terrible strangers”.

My rating for making friends in Sweden is : 3/10 - Join a club, any club.

Social life for me personally: I have a few great close friends and a bunch more not quite as close friends who are also great. Come to think of it, many of them I've met through one of the three different organizations I've been most active in, and most of the rest I met through those friends. I'm really thankful for having friends who are still around even after I've spent way too much time feeling too bad to be very social or friendly at all.

My rating of my friends: 10/10 - No, I'm not biased.OK, so let’s average those numbers up and pretend the averages mean something!

Sweden: 5.81Me:  6.63Wait what? I’m winning?

[lgbtlunaverse]

I'd love to use the notes to make fun of the reading comprehension on this website but i'm on other social media and they all react in the exact same manner so this is less of a "how dare you say we piss on the poor" and more of a "holy shit people please learn to recognise dogwhistles and propaganda"

Because in the notes you've got hoardes of people saying "well this sounds like a pretty good life for a person to lead, i'd love to be in the position of the woman described here. And he did not EXPLICITLY say that he doesn't want her to work at all, just not a soul-sucking job she hates, and he also didn't EXPLICITLY say all couples should live like this, this is just for him and his wife! Why are you making this innocent tiktok about one guy about broader issues?" And oh my fucking god you people. I can't.

This is the point. They oversell you a fantasy that is broadly unattainable and not actually ideal for a lot of people (the hardworking husband who slaves away at his job and comes home to a beautiful wife who spends her days being happy and stress-free tending to the house and farm in thankfullness rewards him with lovely food and sex) and get you hooked on the idea of it. Only THEN do they go in with the second layer of "this IS attainable but modern society and feminism are trying to take it away from you." And after that the third layer "this is the proper way to live and anyone who doesn't want this is evil and unnatural"

If you look at the first layer in isolation and claim it has nothing to do with the second or third because it is not saying those parts out loud yet, congratulations, you are falling for it!

The quiet part here is "men are fit for the workspace, women are not. And women would be happier of they just left the working to the men." It uses people's very understandable exhaustion and collective burnout from being under the boot of capitalism, and the loneliness from being stuck at home because of a pandemic for over 2 years, to sell them the idea that the solution to these problems is patriarchal gender roles. Men, do you feel isolated and alone and do you struggle to connect to people on a satisfying and rewarding level? Women, are you tired of having to work several minimum wage jobs to get by and not drown in debt? Do I have the answer for you!

Why do you think the commenter immediately knew to connect it to masculinity and femininity? Why do you think the reverse fantasy is never sold like this? Men are also stuck working boring, soul-sucking, dead-end jobs. Women are also lonely and looking for loving and emotionally fullfilling relationahips. So why do you never get "I'm gonna girlboss and make lots of money so I can spoil my boyfriend and he'll never have to work a day in his life" content? Because that's not the "natural" way.

And disclaimer, no, not every couple who just happens to fit into the working dad and stay at home mom label and talks about it on the internet is part of the propaganda machine. A portion are, but some people just live their life and aren't trying to push it on everyone else. This guy, however, is not describing his own life, he is describing a fantasy, and it's sublte but from the language like "it's my DUTY as a man" and "become an ethereal feminine goddess" you can ABSOLUTELY tell what the purpose is lmfao.

Hell, even the way he described the scenario of his wife having a soul-sucking job is telling. It's not bad because it makes her miserble. It ~drains her of her warmth & radiance~ aka makes her less like the perfect fantasy wife of his dreams.

the repackaging of old misogynistic ideas that younger generations think they’ve outgrown into buzzword-filled tik toks and tweets that will be pushed towards young impressionable people is extremely dangerous. But also extremely funny like you can’t get this anywhere else