#also by “you know the rule”
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delusionalbitchinthehouse · 5 months ago
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I'm on a roll with AU these days, so. Cowboy AU ! Outlaw Dewdrop x Sheriff Swiss...with a twist.
It's been a long fucking day. Very fucking long. Swiss' back aches as he leans back into his seat, blinking when the lines of barely legible handwritting still swim in front of his eyes, even now that he's looked up from all the paperwork.
Yawning, he looks around his office, lazily blinking. A light breeze brushes his face, making him frown and glance at the half opened window. Hadn't he closed it ? Swiss tries to recall, hours blending together in his memory. Maybe he didn't, maybe he forgot.
Once he's locked it, Swiss snatches his hat, delibarating between popping to the saloon or just staying home.
"Be the sheriff, they said, it'll be fun, they said," he grumbles, making his way downstairs, "they just forgot to mention the fucking paperwork."
It's all fake complaints, though. No matter how much paperwork makes him want to hang himself sometimes, Swiss loves this town, loves taking care of it, protecting it, acting for the people that make it such a bright and homely place.
Plus, he rocks the hat he was gifted when he became sheriff. That thing is probably his most prized possession.
Once in the kitchen, Swiss makes a beeline for the nearest bottle, in dire need of a little something to clear the fog in his brain from answering letters, approving or denying demands and signing what needed to be signed for hours.
The bottle leaves the shelf too easily, snatched with too much strenght for its weight. Swiss frowns, looking down at the bottle. It's three quarters empty, which doesn't sit right with him. He's sure, absolutely certain he left it more full than this.
All at once, Swiss becomes keenly aware of his surroundings, his senses sharpening in an instant. Noticing things he hasn't prior.
The rim of the bottle is still wet, a stray drop clinging to the neck, not having had time to reach the bottom. A glass is missing on the shelf. The memory of the window he thought he had closed flashes back in Swiss' mind.
His hand flies to his holster just as the distinct sound of someone cocking their gun breaks the silent, followed by a voice.
"Touch that gun and i'll have to scrub your brains off the floor," it says.
Swiss freezes, slowly raising his hands on either sides of his head. He hears steps, then a hand relieves him of both the guns he carries, as well as the knife hidden in his boot - quite the predictable place to keep it, Swiss will admit.
"Turn around," the voice orders then.
Swiss does, half smiling.
"Very rude way of starting a conversation, don't you think ?"
"Who says I want to talk ?"
Swiss groans as he takes in the man facing him. Long hair, mismatched eyes, sharp features, a scar tugging the right corner of his mouth up in a perpetual smirk ; a familiar face, one plastered on every available wall of every town.
Dewdrop, wanted for a baffling amount of crimes Swiss can't be bothered to remember, dead or alive. Reward : Swiss can't remember that either, with how often it changes.
The outlaw amongst the outlaws.
Swiss raises an eyebrow.
"Well, you see, people love chatting with me, so I just assumed you were as dying to hear my voice as the others."
Dewdrop scoffs, though he's smiling, a thin, sharp thing that reminds him of a blade. The fucker is holding a glass of Swiss' liquor in the hand not gripping the gun.
"Sorry to disapoint, sheriff, but if i had the time to sew your mouth shut, I would."
Swiss tilts his head.
"Rude. Almost as much as drinking my stash away."
Dewdrop downs his glass, maintaining eye contact the whole time, carelessly setting it on the nerby table with a satisfied smack of lips.
"You have enough liquor to drown in it, I'm sure my share won't be missed."
Swiss almost doesn't catch the quick way Dewdrop's eyes rake over him, up and down and up again, pausing momentarily at the silver of belly exposed by his raised arms. Almost.
"What I do miss are my guns," Swiss huffs, eyeing where they've been unceremoniously shoved under Dewdrop's belt. The outlaw takes one out, examinating it with an approving hum : they're very nice guns, well-cared for. Then he puts it back, still at his own belt.
"You'll miss a lot more once i'm done."
Swiss' eyebrows climb up his forehead ; there is a vague innuendo to be made, he thinks, but between the tiredness still weighting on his shoulders and the way his eyes keep stubbornly falling on Dewdrop's lips, he can't find a way to phrase it. Instead, he props his hip against the end of the table opposite to the one Dewdrop stands at.
"So you, a famous outlaw, master of escapism, came to this...tiny town and decided to ransack the sheriff's house ? You won't find nearly as much as you're used to."
The look Dewdrop gives him then, feels like being flayed open, exposed raw to prying, piercing eyes. It takes all of Swiss' carefully crafted self-control not to flinch away from it. When Dewdrop takes a step toward him, he can't help but tense, smile less easy, more strained.
"Oh but you see, sheriff, i pride myself in being nosy. Some might say it's a flaw, I say it's a very useful thing. I have keen ears, you see. I hear a lot, and I love rumors."
The barel of Dewdrop's gun presses against Swiss' chest. The outlaw is fully grinning now.
"And, you see, people say the Multi-Faced Thief - you know the Multi-Faced Thief, don't you sheriff ?- didn't die in that trainwreck years ago. Some say he's still alive, mascarading as a simple civilian, maybe even a figure of authority, hoarding the goods he stole, or aquired thanks to his thievery. "
Swiss swallows, his smile widening. Dewdrop is clever, ruthless, ambitious. He can't help liking it. There's no point in bullshitting him, but Swiss decides he can't give in without fucking with him a bit.
"And why are you telling me that ?"
All the air leaves the room when Dewdrop leans forward, so close his nose almost brushes Swiss'. It's crooked, Swiss notices, the bridge a bit wonky, probably broken once or twice. His fingers twitch above his head with the sudden and irrational need to touch it.
Swiss can barely breath, waiting, Dewdrop's eyes flickering over his face, searching. Pausing on his plush lips for half a second too long.
"I think you know why. You've gone soft, Multi. It was easy sneaking in. Disarming you."
A chuckle escapes Swiss as he drops the act, entertained by this guy's audacity. His confidence. Instead of shying away from the gun, he weights against it, sure to leave a dent in his skin. His eyes darken in the dim light ; oxygen can barely find both their lungs in what tiny sliver of space there's left between their faces.
"I'll admit, I dropped my guard. Didn't expect a pretty thing like you to stumble into my house. Try to steal from me. If we'd met a few years ago, I would either have put a bullet between your eyes or taken you for a ride."
Up close, Swiss is at the front row to see Dewdrop's pupils expand, his chest rising and falling quickly. Despite that, he doesn't lose sight of his objective, something Swiss admires quietly as he's shoved a few inches back by the push of the gun.
"Yeah, well. Here you are today, distracted and gunless."
Swiss nochalently raises his, mirroring Dewdrop's position, barrel against his narrow ribcage.
"You were saying ? Looks like I'm not the only one who's losing focus, mmh ?"
He watches in amusement Dewdrop's cheeks clolouring with both anger and embarrassement, his mismatched eyes flicking down to his belt, where only one of Swiss' guns is left.
"So, we're in a bit of a dead end, but i'll make you a deal, yeah ? You leave, and you leave fast, without doing this town any damages. In exchange, i'll let you have this," Swiss drawls, slipping a hand under his collar to tug on a richly ornemented pendant, one that always stays concealed under layers.
Dewdrop's jaw falls open at the sight of the Multi-Faced Thief's most famous prize, the hold-up of the century. Swiss waits for his answer, grinning, watching rubies reflecting in wide eyes.
"Why...would you offer that ?" Dewdrop manages to choke out, stunned.
Swiss laughs lightly, slipping the jewlery off his neck and onto Dewdrop's, still not letting go of it, precious metal digging in his palm.
"I'm tired of carrying this old thing around, and i'm already plenty rich. Do we have a deal ?"
Greed is always a bad influence, Swiss would know. It's currently shining in Dewdrop's eyes, surely thrumming in his veins. But he's not stupid, either.
"Right. And the real reason....?"
Huffing, Swiss yanks on the pendant, grinning from ear to ear.
"The real reason, is that i'll have a good excuse to hunt you down. I'll get this back. I'll catch you. I've missed the thrill of the chase."
It's not much of deal, more like a threat, or maybe a promise, but it's clear by the look on Dewdrop's face that he's game. Incapable of resisting the challenge.
"If you think you're up to it, it'll be my pleasure to prove you wrong, sheriff. It's a deal."
Swiss let go. They're still holding each other at gunpoint.
"My weapons, or you're not walking through the door," he warns.
"Windows would do," Dewdrop snarks back, though he does toss Swiss' second gun and knife on the table. His eyes flick up to Swiss' hat, hand twitching.
"Unless you intend to take me up on the ridding offer, I suggest you don't take that. You know the rule," Swiss smirks, earning an eye roll.
"Not tonight," Dewdrop breathes, slowly backing up toward the window, still aiming at Swiss' chest.
He's halfway through it when Swiss calls back.
"I'll see you soon, Dew."
The outlaw throws him a daring look, scarred cheek pulling with how wide he smiles, and it's the last thing Swiss sees before he jumps off.
Alone in his kitchen, Swiss laughs.
This will be fun.
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topbottomswitchblade · 2 years ago
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it’s difficult to be a dom with anarchist leanings.
my sub will be like “i have to tell you something... i broke a rule. i’ll accept whatever punishment you see fit.” and i’m like. rise up comrade you have nothing to lose but your padded restraints. no doms no masters. oh you want me to spank you. yeah i can do that.
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wiisagi-maiingan · 6 months ago
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I love tornado survival guides. "Shelter in a basement or interior room without any windows. But if you're in a mobile home, just fucking die I guess lol"
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crowned-clown-rising · 22 days ago
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My favorite animal is people who thought destiel was a made up ship that was born out of fans stretching canon too much and overall exaggerating then watch the show and realize... that from the very beginning that shit is gay
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kettle-bird · 8 months ago
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He floats through the air with the greatest of ease...
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gascreates · 5 months ago
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a new star
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 month ago
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(Accidentally mis-clicked enter on my last ask. Here's the full "ask")
What he says...
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VS What I read...
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("us" as in him and WWX, not the spider just to be clear)
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They should make an adaptation called 'The Unfiltered', where Lan Wangji says exactly what's on his mind.
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nikkisticki · 2 years ago
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RULE
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methoughtsphantom · 5 months ago
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silly headcannon #2 that Bruce never got the reference that Jason always made of himself being short round (he always thought it was Jason saying he was short) until after he died and Tim, avid Indiana Jones fan made Bruce watch the movies with him, only the man breaks out crying., sobbing, full on breaking down over the two second scene that is Indy ruffling Short Round’s hair as he explains they first met when he caught the kid stealing from him, and then took him under his wing.
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waitineedaname · 3 months ago
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now that i've finished tgcf i can make memes about all three books! i was tempted to put binghe at the absolute center because he could easily go into any quadrant at different points in his life, and both lwj and hua cheng could swing jock, but i think the most important thing is that wei wuxian is all four at once. somehow.
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sunsetcurveauto · 1 month ago
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Dead Boy Detectives as out-of-context texts between me and mary (@spacegirlsgang) + friends part 8: edwin "clockable" payne edition
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fisherrprince · 1 month ago
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mmmmmooorrreeee balop
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hinamie · 3 months ago
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siren!megumi concept sheet i whipped up in a single-minded fever state fr @uriekukistan
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nauticaltrain · 2 months ago
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While I’m glad everyone is getting into stex via girlball, it’s important to me everyone knows that a butch lesbian has been present in the show from the beginning and Her Name Is Wrench
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floweroflaurelin · 1 year ago
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The Final Flame 🕯️
“We’re all just candles in the dark.”
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methoughtsphantom · 21 days ago
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Jason “my family doesn’t know im alive” Todd and Danny “my family doesn’t know I’m dead” Fenton going alongside each of their plans my beloved. like Danny will absolutely go head-to-head with all of Gotham to support his new best friend on all his crime lord endeavors while he drags Jason to also attend collage with him. They are roommates and there never seems to a mention of family from either side. It’s an unspoken understanding they have. They met because Crime alley as a ghost lair thrummed with so much loneliness, it was at first the perfect place for Danny to hide his ecto signature in. But then he saw the dumbass whose lair it was lean his motorcycle just a tad too much when making a sharp turn to an alley, he sweeped the floor through a lifted chain link that passed his body but not his helmet. Yep that’s right the red thing got stuck. Danny who at the moment happened to be watching through his window snorted. Much to his horror because if not a ghost that dude could’ve gotten his head flung off.
Still, the scene was ridiculous.
On a whim he irrationally sees the police closing in on the guy and panicked at the thought of the guy using intangibility to free himself so Danny phased them both through his apartment wall and left the guy sprawled in his couch. Jason didn’t freak out but that’s normal when one’s got a concussion, one the guy immediately denied having as Danny laid out the medical supplies. The idiot proceeded to almost flatten four steps to the door with his stubbornness. He also said “I’m asexual” in the most deadpan voice as Danny dropped him back in the couch.
Danny sighed. Clearly though, he’d done so too early in the night because the guy kept trying to go, kept trying to knock Danny out, kept trying to slash him with knifes Danny didn’t know he had stashed. He’d only disarmed the guy from his guns. The visible ones apparently, cause at one point the guy did take out a gun and shoot until the ammo ran out and then teetered the thing like it was an art prop and hit his moon lamp.
Danny "yeah you aren’t officially my friend until you’ve tried to kill me" fenton my guys.
Anyways both keep having the same argument over if Danny technically kidnapped Jason or not. Danny holds the fact that the police at least didn’t see the guy make the ridicule. Jason argued that happened cause he was sporting a concussion. Danny argued he got that after.
Jason at first thinks the guy's a meta, but no. Danny introduces himself, sheepily now that he recognizes this is who the lair he invaded is from. He bandages him and tries to cook for him. If Danny didn’t have ice powers he most certainly would’ve burned the apartment. Jason then proceeds to kick him out of his own kitchen and make them both enchiladas. It’s the most normal both had in a while with another person and the air seems oddly settled. From then on, Jason constantly invited himself over, under the pretense that this was his territory and therefore he could drop in unannounced. Danny who has actual powers says he only allows this because Jason cooks very well.
Danny stays away from the crime fighting business unless his buddy is in deep shit he can’t get himself out. Also it’s Danny’s turn to cover for his vigilante friend which Sam and Tucker give him so much shit for. (but also advice)
And they were roommates. (omg) Danny effectively derails Jason’s big comeback plans by casually dropping ghost lore every two days. Like,
Jason, talking about how he doesn’t want Bats snooping on his territory:
Danny: Just don’t let them in
Jason: ??
Danny: yeah!! Hasn’t Batman died and got revived??? You can totally kick out death touched people you don’t want entering on your lair.
Jason: …I can?
Danny: Yep dude, your lair’s supposed to feel safe.
Jason: wait does that mean I can kick you out?
Danny: First this is my apartment. Second, im dead, not dead touched. Third, it’s too late to get rid of me. bitch.
Anyways Jason is super excited. You mean to tell him he can actually deny people over to his territory haunt?? (Yes it’s only to people who have died and came back but still!! The sample size is exactly the type of people he doesn’t want to see—!)
Joker my beloathed can’t step foot in Crime Alley.
(Jason’d feel a lot safer if the clown was dead but the possibility of his murderer turning into a ghost and their little loophole not applying on the clown is too scary to contemplate.)
Anyways, Jason loves experimenting with the power. It can go from simply making people shudder and not want to enter crime Alley to straight up not letting them enter like there’s an invisible wall blocking the way.
Jason because he’s hurt that Bruce never even patrols Crime Alley and also because he’s petty put B under the category of “invisible wall” blacklist. His reasoning is that the man doesn’t even attempt to enter Crime Alley. To him it’s surely just a place shadowed in tragedy. (anyways that’s it’s the place he met Jason)
Ironically, Jason totally forgets that Batman does venture into Crime Alley one day in the whole year. The day he met Jason.
Okay. He didn’t forget at first. The first year Jason remembers cause it was only a few months till then but then the next— Jason forgets that today’s the anniversary of the day’s Bruce’s parents died. He forgets to allow B in when he feels a slight tug and dismiss the feeling that prompts Bruce to investigate because he literally can’t enter Crime Alley. He starts the trialsTM, he scouts on the very edge and sees people the whole day enter and get out and cross with no problem but Bruce can’t.
It’s literally just Bruce.
Time to call Constantine, i guess.
#bat shenanigans ensue#JSJSJS okay so i dont have a well versed timeline of events but two years after utrh who HASNT died of the batfam#cause those are the ones who are gonna go undercover to find what shady shit is this: )#im going with timmy cass and duke#sorry steph i KNOW you have died#the others have plausible deniability from my part#the trio is gonna come down hard on this unsuspecting pair#let's just say constantine just had one spare magical rune for each of them so they'll be able to identify who was powerful enough to do it#and duke found civvie jason. cass found civvie danny and tim also found jason a la squared. in his red hood get up later that night#the only useful photos are from tim's side but anyways since they got three suspects (one suspected to be the other. so really-- two)#they decide to split each other up and tag one each (whoever doesn't get the correct guy loses)#tim calls dibs on the twink. cass rolls her eyes and narrows her eyes at the red hood and duke smirks when he gets to keep his guy#he's not cheating if he didn't protest to getting to have the guy he already saw the aura of. he's sure he is IT#coincidentally duke happens to be the only bat jason doesn't recognize (and vice versa)#meanwhile cass is gonna be the one shadowing red hood which at this point he doesn't kill that much since he has his rules verymuch enforce#he does kill tho#so at some point they're gonna clash but at the start of the investigation no#let them be siblings your honor#big sis cass and her little brother 6'4 jay#and tim finally is gonna be the one to smoothly get himself in the conversation with cryptid roommate civilian danny fenton#genius dumbasses protection club#their first meeting is of course arranged but no less meet cute coffee shop au#anyways jason wants to know why the fuck hes got a bat tagging along with him so out of the blue and also why can't he fucking chase her of#cass is curious about how the red hood's mood constantly changes within her range yet he never attacks her despite his hurt-longing-anger#the boy who doesn't make noise fucking screeches when she sneaks up to him#and duke fucking brings his hands to block the chernobyl reject glow stick sun that's stands next to tim#while tim looks like his whole system is rebooting cause that's jason todd#dp x dc#danny phantom#jason todd
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