#also being remembered/thought about IS the greatest form of love and no one can change my mind

[kaeichi]

love is in the air.

. . . and maybe that's why mikage reo can view the world with such clouded, pink-hued vision, and why nagi seishiro cannot breathe at all.

series. nagi + reader + reo. no gendered terms, but some implications of m! reader. reader likes boys. bestfriend! nagi. valentines/white day. highschool setting. swearing. humor. fluff & angst.

a/n. repost bc it wasnt showing up in tags T-T i js want a shoujo anime w these two as the MLs...

prev ┊ next ┊ 01 … 02 … 03

⊹ 01 : my dear partner [wc: 4.7k]

TWO YEARS AGO

“…dude. you're scaring all the hoes away.” 

nagi watches your lips move, though he barely registers anything you've been saying since he has stopped listening a while ago—which, honestly, comes as no surprise to anyone.

there’s no real reason to be so lethargic at this hour (it's already late noon, plus he surprisingly had a decent amount of sleep the previous night for once), nor the time to think about trivial things, but he can’t help but think about how exactly every single thing stopped being so bothersome like it used to.

he can't quite pinpoint what brought on this gradual change, but if he had to, then it’d probably be three springs ago—when he’d wake up a little earlier than usual to the gentle kiss of the sun through his window and the cherry blossoms were in perfect bloom. around that time is when he’d received his quiet companion choki, he’d finally scored top 1 in the leaderboards after months and months of grinding in his favorite mobile game, and… when you’d first sat next to him in middle school.

for as long as he remembers, you were simply just there. an unexpected oddity that has not only forced its way through, but has also wedged firmly into every aspect in his life. and somehow, he’d concluded that maybe some things weren't so bad—that some things weren't such a hassle to him after all.

“move, idiot. at this point you might as well hold my hand.” the snow-haired male barely hears your voice over his wandering thoughts, stumbling from the light shove you give him. he has now become acutely aware of your swinging hand, wary of the close proximity and the faint buzz of static that lingers on his skin. huh. maybe it is better to move away.

still, he’d rather not reposition himself. it’s too much work, he’d like to reason, and it's certainly not because of anything else… maybe. he doesn't really know for sure. what he does know though, is that the space beside him suddenly feels strangely empty. 

when he looks at you to see a pout forming on your lips, he can't help but sigh. you're being unreasonable. there's something that's been nagging his curiosity for a while now, and it took him quite a bit to realize what it is.

“seishirooo,” you whined one day, allowing your head to sink against his mattress, taking up nearly the whole space while nagi sits at the corner of the bed. you came over to his place that day to bother him, stating that you needed some comfort because apparently, “no one ever looks at me. i feel so damn invisible.” he shrugged and offered you his controller, challenging you to a 1v1 with him as a distraction.

“…but i look at you all the time?” he replied.

“yeah, but that's different.” and he would've asked you to elaborate more, if not for the fact that you've been horribly vague about it when he does ask, and the perpetually sleepy gamer only has so much patience before he gives up and decides it's something not worth spending his energy on.

besides, you're always emotional like that. this was probably just another one of your fleeting phases.

it's not until he notices you've been longingly gazing at the couples on the campus, quietly seething under your breath that it finally clicks. now, he may not have the greatest understanding when it comes to feelings and all its complexities, but even he can tell you’re reeking with jealousy.

despite being pushed off only seconds ago, nagi shuffles closer again as he falls into step beside you. even if sparks prick his skin, it feels right in this way. “dunno why you ‘need’ hoes when you already have me.”

“just because i'm into guys doesn’t mean that i like you in that way,” you mutter, sending him an odd glance like you thought there’s something wrong with his head for even suggesting that. not knowing how to respond, he settles for staring right back without a word. 

“what's with that look? you know what i mean, seishiro.” you continue, averting your gaze from him. what look? he asks internally. “it's just, well, literally everyone is getting into relationships. and i know we're still first years, but… it just feels like i’m missing out, y’know? 

“do you really? sounds like a hassle to me,” he shrugs, and it truly does—he never saw the appeal of dumb crushes, of drama nearly every day, of possible unrequited “love,” or of wasting half your time and energy on someone just for it to not mean anything at all in the end. video games sound way more fun, and way less heartbreak inducing.

“you can't say that when you haven’t even experienced it,” you argue, still pouting.

“it’s overrated anyways. being single is better.”

“hah! of course you’d say that, you virgin.” 

“you’re one to talk,” nagi boredly quips. “i’m celibate purely by choice, but you on the other hand… if you really think about it, you're basically an incel.”

nearly choking on your spit, you exclaim, “hah?!”

“you don't even really talk to other guys except for me, and on top of that, you're barely approached by anybody,” he explains in a matter-of-fact tone, oblivious to the way his best friend’s confidence waning rapidly by the second the more he speaks.

“yeah? and who’s fault is it, you cockblocker!” 

nagi simply sticks a tongue out as you flip him off.

right after that, the two of you ended up breaking into a sprint as you heard the clicking sound of heels walking on the tiles around the corner, not wanting to get caught for skipping classes. well, you ran, and just dragged him by the wrist. he felt the warmth of your fingers even through the thick barrier of his baggy sleeve.

PRESENT

you try not to trip and fall face first as a cold hand guides you through the crowded hallway.

it's embarrassing enough as it is to be rushing through the middle of the corridor and pushing past the bodies of random students like you're a main character or some sort, but even more so when the (apparently) most popular guy of the campus that you’ve (never) seen is walking right in front of you.

and it gets even more humiliating when said popular guy has taken hostage of your wrist, leading you away to a more secluded area. shocked, harsh whispers echo throughout nearly the whole floor, and multiple eyes shoot daggers at the fingers wrapped around the sleeve of your uniform, and you’ve never wanted to bury yourself alive more than this moment.

after rounding a corner into a miraculously empty hallway, you finally skid to a stop, yanking your hand away, ready to pounce at the culprit who made you go through all that unnecessary attention. however, before you can get a word in, the refined male bows his head low in front of you, and you find yourself face-to-face with sleek purple locks.

“i’m sorry, but i have no time for dating. i’m really flattered, though. i hope we can stay friends still.” he hurriedly says, hope gleaming in his matching purple eyes.

…what. 

who is he again? and why is he rejecting you?

for some reason, you find the stranger’s gaze too bright that you have to look away; so you do exactly that, tilting your chin downwards instead and letting your hair mask your expression.

after a few beats of silence, he clears his throat. “i'm really sorry, it hurts me to see you look so down… i’m sure we can put this behind us and—”

“nice shoes,” you interrupt, still not raising your head to meet his now confused stare. “i can tell you really love wearing them, judging by the busted, worn out stitches. hey, is it just me or is that prada logo kinda wonky too?”

the male's jaw drops down nearly all the way to the floor.

“pardon me?” he says through gritted teeth, keeping his composure by flashing his usual award-winning smile, albeit a lot more stiffer. “i know i just rejected you, but you don't have to be so hostile…” 

when you finally raise your head, your expression can only be described as terribly and solemnly unamused, unimpressed beyond words.

then, you suddenly lean closer, peering closely into his violet irises with thoughtful hum. an unwilling flush of red creeps on the tips of the boy’s ears, his eyes widening comically at the sudden intrusion of space. “you’ll do,” nodding to yourself, you now grab his wrist and pull him away. “come.”

“w-wait, huh? where are we go—” 

“you're the one who made me late. let's go!”

reo isn't quite sure why he's the one being dragged away now.

he has only initially planned to gently turn down the person who last confessed to him, whose family just so happened to be related to his father’s business partners—but now he somehow finds himself on a whole date with that person? (the same one who brazenly insulted him by implying his shoes are fake, by the way!)

“i have other plans today, you know…” the heir says, subtly trying to inch away from you.

you tug him back by his sleeve, with twice as much force than he had used on you earlier. “i can imagine, my dear partner.”

“w-what?” reo stutters, and he's cringes at himself for how he's acting at the moment. the usually composed and charming mikage reo, now reduced to a stuttering and blushing mess? how embarrassing.

“normally my best friend would do this with me, but he slept in today.” leave it to seishiro to leave me all alone on the day that actually matters, you irritatedly mutter under your breath. “well, whatever. come on.”

as you and him enter the packed bubble tea shop, the fingers that were wrapped around his sleeve slides down to interlace with reo’s own clammy ones. he realizes this a second too late, and before he has the chance to let go, the clerk by the entrance greets them with an enthusiastic “welcome, lovebirds!”

“huh?!” reo’s jaw slackens, dumbfounded. he’s really starting to hate himself now—it's unbecoming of him, really, but it's hard to process everything when you're so close to him that the scent of your shampoo keeps invading his senses and subsequently messing with his head.

“here’s your special tickets for today. thank you for participating, and happy valentines!” you drag him straight to the back, where the colorful claw machines are set up. reo catches a glimpse of the pink posters set up on the walls of the quaint shop, which reads: couples get free special tickets! today only! …ah. that's why he's here.

“aoi-san… you're gripping too tight,” he says, gritting his teeth together into a forced smile. 

“aoi?” you repeat, your grip finally loosening until you let go entirely. “huh… i see. by the way, what's your name again?”

needless to say, the purple-haired male is beyond perplexed. “is this your unique attempt at a joke or something?”

“come on, rich boy. we've held hands and i don’t even know your name!” 

“right… which i totally wasn't being forced to do…” he lets out an awkward laugh. sure, some admirers of his tend to get a tad excessive, but they were never able to get far with him, much less forcibly drag him out on a date—and it's not even because they want him to spend his unlimited budget on them and spoil them rotten, but just so they can get… a free special ticket for a claw machine. how did he end up getting in this bizarre situation? more importantly, how does he get out?

you simply shrug. “your fault, rich boy. you should try thinking about anyone other than yourself for once.”

“excuse me?” he narrows his eyes, slightly peeved. he's had enough of your rude attitude; potential business partner or not, he hopes that he never has to interact with you again in the future. “stop calling me that. i have a name, and it's mikage reo.”

the way your eyes widen doesn't go unnoticed by him. “and what did you even mean by that?” he presses defensively.

you plop down on the seat, with reo mirroring you as you insert the rouge ticket decorated with pink hearts into the slot of the claw machine. “well, mikage reo. i’m sure you're aware how aoi’s family is important, right?”

yeah, this person is definitely a weirdo, reo muses. who refers to themselves in third person?

“i heard they had connections everywhere… just like you. it's crucial to maintain a good relationship with someone like that, right?” you conclude—that would explain why reo had taken the time to personally talk to “aoi” one-on-one instead of just flat out rejecting them on the spot.

reo tilts his head to the side. “i’m not following…?”

“mikage.” you emphasize, looking at him straight in the eye before turning your attention back to playing. “i’m saying that the poor kid’s still waiting for an answer. your heartfelt and sincere rejection, to be exact.”

a few seconds of silence pass. well, as silent as it can be with the loud chattering of the crowd and the mechanical whirrs of the claw machine you're currently messing with resounding in the air.

“you mean, you're not…” reo trails off, all color draining from his face. “i’m so, so sorr—”

“aoi’s the one you should apologize to, not me. oh, i got a double! how lucky.” you eagerly grab the prize, the limited edition valentine’s merch exclusive to this boba shop; a plushie collectible that comes with a redeemable code for your favorite video game. you want to collect all of them, but you’re broke as hell and you’re only here due to the free ticket. turning to reo, you shove the second plushie to his chest. “here, this is for you. since you did help me out with getting these.”

“ah, thank you…” reo absentmindedly accepts the small toy, still reeling on how he could make such a careless mistake. “listen, i do apologize—”

“i wonder how'd you even mix us up. is it ‘cause we have the same hair color?” you ask, slightly amused because aside from that, you and aoi look nothing alike. your fingers tap on the surface of the control panel, observing reo’s shame-stricken visage. “or maybe… is it because everyone just looks the same to you?”

at that moment, mikage reo realizes two things: (1) maybe he's more transparent and vulnerable than he thinks, and (2) you're dangerous, and it's better to stay far, far away from you. how could you see right through him so quickly? what if that's something you'll use against him?

he doesn't like to admit it, but it's true—in his perspective, everyone's the same. they're just after him for money and status, and at some point, they've all just become faceless, superficial pawns vying for his attention.

and of course, you’re no exemption.

noticing he’s gone quiet, you continue, “but i guess if my world was as vast as yours, i couldn't possibly keep up with everything either, so i get it. i’m not saying i’m in the same situation as you, but i can kind of relate, i guess. i only keep the ones who's important to me close, and the rest just exist and do whatever. i’m selective, but in that way, at least i can give my all to the ones that really matter.”

reo closes his mouth shut. here you are casually saying that you don't matter to him, and while that isn't a lie in the slightest, he still can't help but feel guilty. maybe it's just the people-pleaser in him, or maybe it’s the way the corners of your lips are slightly quirked up and to form a miniscule, accepting smile, but he wants to reassure you, “still, i’m sure you feel that—”

“i don’t.” you don't mind that he didn't know you, because you didn't even know him either—there’s no reason for you to take it personal. you’d be a hypocrite otherwise. “i really don’t.”

you smile at him. he thinks it's out of understanding, but unbeknownst to him you're actually just entertained by how his inner turmoil is so clearly reflected on his expression. “so don’t worry about it. plus, we’re even now.” you add, gesturing towards the prize.

hopping off the stool, you wave at him as you start to walk away. “...happy valentines. i'll see you around, mikage. maybe. er, probably not.”

“wait!” he hurriedly jumps off the stool as well, clutching the plushie in his hand as he follows after you. “i… let me drive you home.” the words stumble out before he even realizes what he's saying. you're probably just using him, and you're dangerous, and you see right through him, and he should stop wasting his time because his actual valentine's date is probably three seconds away from storming out the restaurant he's booked at—

so why is he doing this?

“drive?” you repeat, because of course he’d have a driver. damn rich people, you think internally. “nuh uh. it's like a ten minute walk, and i’d rather save the environment.”

“then i’ll walk with you.”

“you do realize i’m done dragging you for the day, right?” you quirk a brow up, amused; you could've sworn he was itching to get the hell away half an hour ago. “you're free. you can go home if you want.”

reo smiles, a more genial one this time. “i know.”

“so, you into popular guys now?” 

“hell no.”

nagi narrows his eyes at you. “you’re just into reo, then?” 

while you expected to be grilled first thing in the morning by random people about your apparent relationship with mikage reo (to which you simply replied, “i don’t know who that is, sorry,” and proceeded to run away), you didn't expect to be interrogated by your apathetic best friend as well. 

usually, nagi prefers to be completely silent during the 1st period (and actually all the way through lunch), not bothering to utter more than a few words, but today, he seems uncharacteristically on edge, waiting for you at the corner of the gym with a wrinkle between his brows.

“why are you on a first name basis with him?”

“everyone calls him reo.” he shrugs. “why him?”

“i never said i was into him.”

“then what's all that partner thing about?” he asks, which confuses you a bit. you doubt that reo would go around announcing to everyone how you teasingly called him ‘partner’ and practically dragged him to a date against his will, but it's not like him and nagi are close either, so you wonder where nagi has heard this information from. then, you suddenly recall back to yesterday, where you saw the curtain of your neighbor’s bedroom window swinging side-to-side, as if it was drawn close a mere second before you looked up. 

it seems that your mind wasn't playing tricks with you after all, and that a certain someone was eavesdropping on your conversation with reo as he walked you to your door.

“fake partners, you mean? and it was a just a joke—i met him that day.”

“that day? why are you acting so close if you've just met that day?”

“you're awfully talkative today, seishiro.” 

“i know. it's making me exhausted, and it's all your fault.” he then presses his weight against you, leaning his forehead on your shoulder—as he always does when he's tired and you're within reach. your eyes widen immediately, darting around the gymnasium to see if any of your classmates has noticed.

you don't want people to get the wrong idea about you two. it's not because it kills your chances with anyone due to the assumption that you aren't single (which you still very much are, by the way), or even because of potential issues of being a two-timer due to a certain rich boy—it's just that whenever you get asked if you and your best friend are together, you can't help but flinch from the idea, like ice is being poured inside the back of your shirt. you don’t really know what to call it, but you do know that you've answered the question a hundred times and you're positively sick of it.

“i told you to stop doing this in public,” you hiss, trying to push the giant, clingy sloth off you. “and stop whining, nagi. i’m not going anywhere. besides, i’m not even looking for a relationship or anything like that. not after… you know, what happened during our first year.”

he lifts his head up, frowning at you. “don’t call me nagi. just ‘cause you met a new guy doesn't mean you get to call me nagi.” 

you raise an unimpressed brow. what’s his problem? “only if you stop whining.” 

“…‘m not.” he slurs his words together, only proving your point.

“yes you are!”

“why do you have to be so annoying? you're such a pain,” he sighs, now walking away from you.

“i'm the annoying one?! and don't call me a pain, you—!” without hesitation, you promptly snatch a red ball from the steel ball cart beside you before swinging your arm at him, slamming the dodgeball right to his head. well, you tried to, at least; even with his back facing towards you, nagi only takes one step to the side to avoid it.

“your shitty aim sucks balls,” the tall male comments unenthusiastically, his white fringe falling over his eyes as he gazes at you over his shoulder. his nonchalance only spurs you on, now hauling multiple dodgeballs at him.

“how about you suck my ba—”

“give it up already. you're never gonna hit me.” and nagi actually has the audacity to yawn mid-dodge. of course, it only fuels your irritation even more. you eventually run out of balls to throw, so you mindlessly grab the nearest object to your right and chuck that as well.

…which unfortunately, happens to be nagi’s phone that he's snuck inside the gym, peeking under a face towel on the bench.

“oh, fu—” 

because of your (rightfully) so-called shitty aim, it swung way up high to the left, a few steps away from nagi. in less than a second, he realizes what you have flung at him, and his body moves instinctively; he throws himself towards it, swinging his leg upward and trapping it with his foot with perfect ease before it has the chance to plummet down on the floor.

“why are you making me move so much…” he sighs. “what a pain.” 

“you’re supposed to move anyways, we're in PE. you're welcome,” you smugly reason out. and then not even a second later you fold, shoulders curling inwards as you glance toward his phone; if it weren't for his godly reflexes, you would've broken it. with a small voice, you meekly add, “sorry.”

nagi shrugs in response.

when he saunters over to place his phone on the bench again, a silver glint catches your eye. a small charm swings lightly, small beads of white and black strung haphazardly together attached to the side of his phone case.

“wait, this is…” a phone charm crafted by hand, which is your birthday present for him four years ago. “i didnt know you still had that.”

“why wouldn't i?”

“where was it this whole time? this wasn't here a few days ago.”

“i just kept it in my drawer ‘cause i don’t wanna lose it.”

tilting your head to the side, you ask, “so why'd you suddenly decide to attach it to your phone now?”

he looks away, scratching the back of his neck. “…dunno.” 

eyes dropping into slits, you mutter, “you know, that kinda sounds sus—”

“hey! that was amazing! nagi, right? you should play soccer with me!”

nagi and yourself both turn to the direction of the sudden voice, seeing a familiar figure running towards you, vivid purple eyes gleaming under the gymnasium’s stark white lights.

“mikage?” you exclaim.

ever so slightly, nagi sharpens his usual droopy eyes. “nah.” he immediately says, turning on his heel.

“seishiro? wait, weren't you supposed to be looking for a club?”

“don’t really care.” you follow him, lightly jogging to keep up. as soon as you catch up by his side, the taller male glances at you as he asks, “will you join too?”

is he seriously asking you that… “no?”

“then i won't.” nagi concludes as he continues to walk away from reo.

“hey, wait up!” reo calls out, placing a hand on your shoulder. “ah, i was completely shut down… say, will you help me convince him?”

your brows shoot up as your gaze flicks down where he's casually touching you. after your initial confusion of who he is yesterday, you then recognize him after learning his name—the most popular boy in school, known for his good looks, charisma, and most especially, his wealth. he gets along well with literally everyone, and acts genuinely close with them even if they aren't.

“uh, why should i?”

“remember that limited edition merch you like? i can get you the rest of the collection. in fact, i’ll even buy out the whole place just for you.”

“wha– seriously?” you feel your eye twitch. damn rich people. “it was limited edition. they all ran out of stock already.”

“i have my ways.” well, that's not shady at all. he flashes a grin at your skepticism, winking at you, “anything for my partner.”

and you now understand why he's earned his title. this is probably how he always gets what he wants—with a smile like that, anyone would drop to their knees and do whatever he’d ask. two years ago, you would've keeled over for attention like this, but now, you're nothing but indifferent.

he places his hands on both of your shoulders now, completely stopping you from taking off. wide violet eyes scrutinize your own, making you scrunch your nose at the close proximity. “shouldn't you be begging him and not me?”

“yeah, but...” reo swears he feels an air of animosity radiating from the white-haired male, and that's why he has decided to turn you instead. “you wouldn't leave your partner hanging, right? as partners, we help each other out, riiiight?” he says, dragging his words out.

you lean as far as you physically can from his grip, but he doesn't seem to care, excitedly looking at you with stars evident in his eyes. “mikage, you—” he smiles at you, bright and blinding, and you find yourself withering under his intense gaze. “okay, fine, just—”

“well, that's settled then! they’re joining the club too, nagi seishiro. they can be our manager.” you briefly wonder why he didn't outright offer to have you join the team, but he probably saw how you threw the dodgeballs earlier… though it's not like you have to use your hands in soccer, so what the hell, this is kind of insulting.

“says who, mikage?”

“you're gonna come watch all our games?” he negotiates.

“why don’t you offer that i join the team?”

“ahahaha. haha. hah.” he laughs awkwardly, swinging an arm around your shoulder and ultimately evading your question.

because you were too busy trying to shrug him off, you miss the way nagi’s eyes zero on to reo’s arm around you, wordlessly observing the whole interaction with his lips pressed taut.

you still don’t know why reo hasn't moved away; he's so close that you can see the dark amethyst specks in his irises, the long strands that frame his face are lightly tickling your cheek, and if you lean in even just an inch, you can practically—

“you said anything i want, right?” your voice drops to a low whisper, and reo nods slowly, still seemingly oblivious to the lack of space between you.

“then... what if i said i wanted a kiss?”

reo’s smile drops immediately, recoiling away from you as if you've slapped him, his whole entire face heating up all the way to the tips of his ears. finally out of his grasp, you erupt into boisterous laughter, shaking your head as you leave the flustered boy alone and catching up to nagi.

likes/reblogs/feedback appreciated ♡

[eri-pl]

Ok, so I have a very silly and probably barely applicable question, but what with Morgoth-canary and I think I remember a post where you said you had very strong opinions about Maglor's voice (I don't remember them, it was one of those "blink and it's gone" posts of my feed ! But I'd like to read them if you feel like it - although I don't know the first thing about music so it's just really sheer curiosity), so I was wondering if you had thoughts about Morgoth's voice ? What could Ainuric voices be like ? And did taking permanent physical form affect his voice ? Probably, right ? He wouldn't have been able to modulate/change it quite as much as before, maybe be stuck with a classically villainy "evil" one ? And then in the void he would have no voice anymore.

Ooooh! Thank you for this question, it's great!

First, Maglor. He is a bass. Well, not really, because I'm certain that Elves have wider vocal ranges, but his speaking voice is rather low, and his singing voice is varied, but can go super low, vibrations-in-your-bones low, and his songs are generally low on pitch. Like the sea. The sea does not squeek.

This is one of the headcanons I will argue about. I am rather strong in my opinions about Maglor. I would rather agree on "Maglor in the Darkness Everlasting"* than on tenor Maglor.

Oh, so now to the king of fools, lord of nothing, Melkor in his various iterations. Starting back when he wasn't such an idiot yet. Standard Morgoth content warning: we'll be doing a short recap of his history. No details, just allusions to events.

So, Ainulindale. which is my favorite chapter. Melkor was the greatest of the Ainur, which means, I think, he had a relatively wide vocal range, well wider than all the other Ainur.

But also, he was a little bint (word thanks to dfw), and taking into account all the band kid stereotypes… OK, tbh I know exactly one professional soprano, who also plays violin, and she's really nice and the only other things she's got in common with Melkor are the fear of spiders and cool hair. But, this being said, the personality stereotypes say that Melkor should be a soprano.

The Ainur's voices aren't gender-coded, I would say. If they even had the idea of gender at that point.

So, he can do many things, but he generally sings in a high pitch, because this makes everyone notice him.

Also, musically... so, this is that thing called chromatic notes. It's a think that jazz does (and I love jazz, I have mental associacions with jazz that would make tolkien chase me with an axe, but let's not digress). Like: when you compare Chopin to Mozart; Chopin is way more chromatic.

So, Melkor doesn't do it. He sings his own dumb melody, which is in a dissonance to everyone else initially (which means it is chromatic in the context of the whole Music), but internally it is simple. It is fifths, lates I would say he just repeats one note on and on, just in many octaves. And the note is probably B. Or maybe G flat.

OK, in non-musical terms: imagine someone is playing a piano (in a normal, mostly-white-keys way), and someone else is banging on the black keys, and then only on all the Gb keys. It's loud but primitive. And doesn't fit until you go Chopin and everything becomes lyrical and so sad, and then he can't really break it, I can't explain it well.

TLDR: Extremely simple harmony, but loud and not in the normal key.

Also, I wanted to talk about power chords but I don't think you want another musical tangent. (They're not as cool as they sound, they're empty-ish inside but it kinda works in the context)

Then they all go to Arda and at some point begin speaking properly. Iirc it's only after the Elves, but I assume the Ainur did have some sounds associated with them even before.

So Melkor's general sound landscape would again be empty inside. Some very loud tones, because they feel majestic: thunder rumbling, ice grinding, earthquake and the murmur of volcano, you can feel it in your bones and it's terryfying. Some very high tones, because they are effective and hard to miss. Evil screeching. No middle tones, because he's an idiot he finds them boring. Empty shell, like an epic movie soundtrack compised by a first-year student of music school and played on a midi. All the trappings but none of the actual work.

His voice, during the Black Rider phase would be similar. Low and rumbling and terryfying, but everytime he gets emotional it becomes high-pitched and has this infuriating timbre of when people talk with a very tense throat. It makes him sound insecure. Because he is. And when beaten by Tulkas he screams like this.

Then we have the parole and I do hc that he actually meant to be better, only he imagined it like "I stop breaking your stuff, and messing with the little beings, and you start listening to me like you listen to Manwë (= you do all I want you to do)" and was not really interested in putting in the effort. So the whole idea broke at the first problems (the city is so pretty, not everyone likes me, Feanor).

Anyway in his Aman phase I imagine Melkor with relatively low voice, but not so low it's weird. He fits in the nornal Elven spectrum. Baritone? Getting higher with the pitch when needed, but rarely he would let his emotions show enough to go very high.

Also, the sweet manner of talking that Sauron had as Annatar or in Numenor, but not so self-deprecating. Less of a "I'm but a humble servant" and more of "I am pretty cool, hey, want to do cool things with me?" The general vibe of a bad boy in a teenage romantic drama. Elongated syllabes, using all the most recent and fashionable Noldorin mannerisns (sa-si all the way!). Also, a lot of whispering, when he spreads the gossip and what not. "Sexy voice" but with his lack of understanding and respect for bounduaries it often feels creepy.

Then he grows more and more sinister, more focused on revenge against the Noldor (well, Feanor) and the Valar. His voice becomes more like a low-key Disney villain. The pitch is unchanged, but the tone is full of suggestions of subtext. It's never clear, but a lot of insinuations are hanging in the air. this kind of slithery, musical intonation in a sentence, elongating of wovels, slightly question-like tone too often. (I can't give you a good example, Scar would be a good example, but only in the Polish dub)

Then he does the Ungoliant business and gets stuck in his Dark Lord form. So, I would say low, booming voice, but flat (=not many overtones, the voice sounds shallow). Loud and with echo, but somehow not as majestic as he would like it. And when he gets scared or lusty or anyhow agitated, he starts talking faster and in a higher voice and with clenched throat.

And he gradually deteriorates, due to Silmarils and general awfulness, and his voice becomes more raspy, more noisy. At the end it's impossible to ascribe a set pitch to it, just like to white noise. Still it doesn't have tones in the middle, but the highs and lows are a mess, and closer to each other, the lacking middle is more narrow. And he doesn't speak much near the end, he's not that interested in any communication. Especially after trying to talk (ekhm) with Lúthien ended like it did. His voice rusts.

And at the end it's just panicked screams that sound more like ….not even an animal. More like a mindless dark creature than like a person. Switching between threats and pleading and pure panic, always full of hatered and disdain. Loud but always so very flat.

And then, upon hearing all those screams, Manwë realizes that the brother he remembers is gone, and that he can't do anything about it— how can you do a reprise without one of the main singers? And even if you could, how can you be happy forever missing someone you love? He doesn't know. I don't know. I am sad.

On one hand the very idea of Second Music is so wonderful and answers so many questions and Aegnor and Andreth and Elrond and Elross and all that and more— and I can't imagine Manwë thinking about this idea and not thinking at the back of his head "my brother won't be with us" and not being sad. I am not saying it's not possible. Just that I can't wrap my mind around it. Or my feelings.

Yes, this is one of my attractors, one of the topics I usually land on. Because. Reasons. Which I will not ramble about because they are personal. But it does make me sad. A lot.

I have some scenes in my head when people Valar talk about this, Nienna obv, she doesn't get it either, many people would probably say she would get it idk

Anyway that's it. That's the post. Sorry it's not more concrete.

[kad3spad3]

Which batfam member fits Nobody’s Soldier by Hoizer the best?

The easy answer here is Jason because that was kinda his whole thing. And trust me I love this idea but this song could genuinely work with almost every member

Dick

He was put on a pedastool and framed as the golden child, and because of that he was expected to take over as Batman. He obviously doesn’t want to be Batman, you can see his turmoil over this in many media forms. The most talked about one being battle for the cowl. There is even a conversation about it in the young justice show when he’s Robin where he states he doesn’t want to be THE Batman.

Jason

He is the most common one to see with this song. Not wanting to be remembered as a soldier instead of a child and trying to stop the ‘Robin’ mantle because of all the children Bruce is letting be put in positions of danger. Also the fact that his memorial case is marked as ‘a good soldier’ which really feels like it’s supposed to rub salt in the wound for Jason.

Tim

Tim was the Robin that forced himself in, he wasn’t chosen by Bruce and when he originally became Robin, Bruce didn’t want him. He has also always been (in my opinion) the most interesting to dissect on a more mental level. He has always had identity issues and is a great actor. Not only is his acting skills shown in the disguises he uses (ex. Caroline Hills) but also as THE Tim Drake. Everything he does has always been some sort of act. Especially when Bruce was missing and Dick took Robin away from him because ‘Damian needs it more’. This was the origin of ‘Red Robin’ as Tim didn’t know what to do or how to be useful if he couldn’t be Robin. The lyrics “I don’t want to chose between being a salesman or a soldier” make more sense when you thing about his identity issues, salesman representing ‘Timothy Jackson Drake, teenage CEO’ and soldier representing ‘Red Robin, the worlds greatest detective’

Cassandra

Cassandra’s use of this song is pretty straight forward in my opinion. She was raised as a weapon, she was trained to kill. She never had another purpose in life to the point that she was never taught to talk, because why would she need that skill if her main focus was to hurt. Then when she finally escaped that life and was given the choice, she became one of the strictest enforcers of the ‘no kill rule’ because she had been taught that all she was good for was to kill her whole life.

Damian

Damian is another character that I love with this song. His comparison to the lyrics of this song are very similar to Cassandra’s. He was born into the league and was raised to be his grandfathers heir. He knew nothing but training and never did anything without purpose, then suddenly his whole life was changed when he was sent to go live with his father. Having to change everything he’s ever known, having to abide by a single rule that goes against his entire existence. He always tells people that he is the blood son, and that he will be the one to take his father’s place. Yet he isn’t sure himself if he is right for the position as he had single handily gone against everything his father stands for.

Anyways that’s the end. I think I’ve thought about this a bit too much..!

[lurkingshan]

Hiii Shan,

I cannot remember for the life of me if I asked you about it or not and tumblr search does not help. I've been listening to the @the-conversation-pod round-up ep and apart from making me burst out laughing in public transport, it got me thinking about 'I Cannot Reach You' and the friends-to-lovers trope. Have you ever listed your fav dramas that use it? If not, can I ask for one pretty pretty please?

Thank you for listening to the @the-conversation-pod! And this is such a good question, because friends to lovers is actually a hard trope to get right and often isn't executed that well. It's also a term that is often misapplied to mean something more like friendly to lovers, aka a romance that starts out with the main pair meeting and keeping things platonic for awhile before they escalate to romance.

A true execution of the friends to lovers trope in its purest form is a relationship change narrative, and that requires an established and important friendship, a major transition in the way both members of the pair view each other, and most importantly, lots of angst. If there's no serious anxiety and fear about the changing feelings and losing the friendship present in the narrative, it's not actually friends to lovers, it's just a natural romantic relationship progression. So something like Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo, while a great story about a pair of college students who establish a friendship before eventually realizing they like each other, is not really a FTL as defined here. And my beloved Sing My Crush doesn't qualify either, because romantic feelings were present the entire time, just suppressed.

So with those parameters set, there are only a handful of dramas I think have done this really well. Onto the list:

I Cannot Reach You

You already mentioned this one, so let me just reiterate what I said on the podcast: it's the best friends to lovers bl ever made. This story absolutely nails the relationship change arc and puts us in Kakeru's shoes as he realizes his best friend since childhood 1) is gay and 2) has developed feelings for him, and takes us along for the ride as he decides what he wants to do with that. Yamato is the absolute picture of tortured angst and the whole thing is excruciating in the best way, because it makes the payoff so very sweet.

Fight For My Way

I am pretty sure I have recommended this show to you before, and I will keep right on doing it because it's a fantastic romcom and my favorite friends to lovers drama of all time. This one is heavier on the comedy beats, but still gets to the heart of the fear and anxiety, and also goes deep on how hard it is when one of the friends clues into their feelings much sooner than the other and hangs in as a loyal friend while nursing their wounded heart in private. Watching Dong Man finally figure out what the hell is going on and catch up to Ae Ra was one of the greatest pleasures of my years of drama watching.

Theory of Love

I said what I said and I meant it! This drama is controversial because it hits the angst really hard and pushes the characters to some ugly places and some people just can't deal, but it's such an authentic portrayal of how much it hurts to be in love with your oblivious friend, and how much we hurt ourselves by not being honest about our feelings in a misguided attempt to protect the relationship we already have. I love it dearly and will defend it to anyone.

Romance Is A Bonus Book

A bit on the lighter side, watching this drama is like curling up on the couch in a cozy sweater with your favorite book and a cup of tea. It manages to both take the relationship arc seriously while never once making you doubt that these friends will be okay, because they are truly ride or die. There is also an age gap at play here, so we have the added bonus of watching Dan Yi wrestle with her changing feelings for her best friend that she has always thought of as a little brother. I will never forget her staring into the mirror to practice telling Eun Ho "I don't see you as a man" and getting increasingly desperate as she realizes that is no longer true. *chef's kiss*

My Only 12%

See-iw and Cake, my beloveds! I love this pair a lot, and think this drama is a fantastic example of how powerful the friends to lovers trope can be when combined with a queer awakening and the added layer of fear that brings to the story in a non-bubble show. The arc of their close childhood friendship morphing through time, separation, and changing identities is so so good. This one comes with a caveat because the last two episodes of the show are abruptly bad and weird (New Siwaj *shakes fist*) but happily, the FTL arc is already complete by then and none of the nonsense messes with the couple.

Hospital Playlist

I know you know this one, but I cannot possibly finish this list without talking about Ik Jun and Song Hwa. This is such a slooooooooooow burn that plays out over 24 episodes, and it's brilliantly done. What I like most about this take on the trope is how mature and adult it is; these two are 40 year old booked and busy professionals, and they also value their friendship more than anything. I love that you get the whole arc of their relationship over 20 years as they meet, have initial sparks, don't get together for reasons, genuinely settle into a platonic friendship and date and even marry other people, and then realize their feelings are changing again later in life. The payoff after all this time and patience and quiet yearning is so beautifully earned.

[ghostwise]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love 💗 (hi hello rinny spreading the love to your writing 💚)

Four little Crows, off to meet the Maker - "'Maker,' Tristeza thought that night, reading in her bedroom and finding herself unable to focus on the words. 'I know it is Your will, or it would not have come to pass! And yet, I am terrified. Forgive me. I know it is right to oppose the Crows but what is my little life, even in its greatest capacity, compared to the whole of them? Andraste, I beg of You: Protect us! Guide us! Keep us from harm!'"

This is the first chapter of my Antivan Zevwarden long-fic Matacuervos, and I am listing it as its own entry, though I'm proud of the entire work; I really feel the first chapter is some of my strongest writing to date. If you're at all curious at least peek at the first chapter... I'm so proud of it!

As for what's to come, I can promise: action, knife fights, romance, death, horses, worker's rights, gay nuns, haunted manors, prostitutes beating slavers to death, and more?

2. for suffering is such a part - "The Lady of the Forest stepped out from between the branches—only it wasn’t the Lady they knew. Close inspection revealed a new spirit entirely; her features changed, her form taller and more free, and branches of oak carried regally upon her head. She was only like an echo of the spirit they’d encountered in the temple, amplified and changed in tone.

'It is not so easy a thing to kill me,' the new Lady said with a smile. 'For you know well, the forest has as many faces as it does trees. Burn me down, cut me, bind me, the forest persists—as surely as autumn, as formless as mists.'"

For suffering is such a part was my first attempt at writing a long fic, and at 50k words it was my first truly ambitious writing project. I think it suffers issues in pacing and flow but I'll never stop being proud of it, it's a solid beginning. It also hosts some stuff I'm really hype about such as Jowan traveling with the Wardens, Zevran interacting with elven spirits, and Morrigan contracting lycanthropy. It's also the first appearance of OCs that show up in other works: Keeva, Mathuin, and Adelmar.

3. not a homecoming, but something like it - "The man Zevran is with has begun to pick up her groceries, although somewhat haphazardly, dropping one orange for every three he grabs. “You see?” he calls out, darting after a can and swiping it before it gets rolled over by a cart. “I knew she’d recognize you!”

And Zevran, the little boy she’d read stories to in the brothel, the same brown eyes, just taller, smiles at her like she’s singing a song and he’s in her lap again."

I think if you look at my writing a few things become really obvious: first of all, I love Zevran's story. Secondly, I'm big on community, friendship, culture, and healing trauma in that framework. No one is alone. No one is ever alone. Some of my favorite comments on this fic hit it right on the money:

4. Falon'Din enasal enaste - "Zevran wasn’t raised to feel grief, not the way others were. Grieving openly was a sign of weakness, and weakness invited abuse. Surviving was more important. But Hamal carries grief with him. He breathes it in his sleep. Braids it into his hair. How cruel and unfair it all is.

Tamlen is laid to rest among moss and stones, with flowers and so many ribbons."

I don't talk about this one very often!! It's very early-days writing. I remember being really proud of the tone and feeling in this. Grief is hard to write, but it's a topic I tackle often. But the scene of Tamlen's funeral is at the very core of Hamal's character, and the ZevHamal dynamic as a whole.

5. Drought Mermaids - "The work is complex. While Vida’s aptitude for weather magic is rare, and therefore in high demand, there’s more to it than summoning storms. She knows that the sky does not end with the horizon, that the atmosphere does not peter out into nothing in space. She knows that there are no clear boundaries; everything is part of everything else. There are a hundred factors to take into account."

I'd be remiss not to share a published piece of work. This story has existed for many years and it underwent several edits before it got picked up by a magazine. It's a sweet little tale about nostalgia, community, and magic please check it out !! I always recommend Haven Spec's features; they have some stellar work in their archives!

dividers by @saradika-graphics

[sparklyfaerie]

So I’m reading the Naruto manga from the start because I’ve only actually seen the anime, and I’m at the beginning of the Forest of Death. I’m about to begin Volume Six (chapter 46, where they just step foot into the forest). Some observations thus far:

- Manga!Naruto isn’t as irritating as his anime counterpart? Like yeah he’s loud and dumb and obnoxious, but kind of in an endearing way? He’s still nowhere near my favourite character, but he’s not as bad as the anime made him out to be.

- Manga!Sasuke is a lot warmer than he was in the anime. I knew SP changed a lot in regards to the main trio’s characterisation, but so far Sasuke is the greatest victim of this. He gets flustered, he blushes, he has complimentary thoughts about his team--he’s actually made me laugh with his inner monologue a fair few times, which isn’t something that happened much in the anime outside of filler (which I don’t enjoy) that I can remember.

He’s a kid. Like he behaves like an actual child. I know I’m about to reach the point where he changes, (boo Orochimaru) but I’m surprised how much he behaved like a regular child. Or, well, an arrogant, stuck-up brat, but still. Had Orochimaru not interfered, his story feels like it was on the track towards being one about healing from trauma rather than the darkness of revenge.

He’s also isn’t as nasty to Sakura? There’s no shoving her away or being mean. He’s blunt, yeah; he doesn’t sugarcoat things and says what he thinks, but there’s no “let me go!” or “get off me!” like there was in the anime. Actually, there seems to be less of her hanging off him in the manga to begin with?

- Manga!Sakura, my love. She’s by far the one that makes me laugh the most. She’s a flirt and a little judgemental, but she’s human. She’s a little girl with an intense crush who is starting to grow up and discover the world. She’s my second-favourite character. (Sasuke will always be my favourite. He’s just got a more interesting story, since Sakura was shafted later in the series.) She has compassion and is able to admit to her mistakes and try to do better. She doubts herself but she also knows where her strengths are.

Also, y’know, the smartest kid in the village. (Aside from Shikamaru, but he’s too lazy to do anything with it right now, so.) That seems to get downplayed a lot.

- I also... miss when they weren’t nukes in human form? When they were ninja doing ninja stuff, not turning their chakra into giant energy monsters and obliterating whole battlefields. There’s a lot of focus on jutsu and stealth so far, which makes me laugh because Naruto is actually a pretty terrible ninja by these metrics. The boy is the antithesis of stealth.

[p4pert0wle]

Ever just had moments where you get so focused on something that you just can't bring yourself to do anything else that you were planning to do.

Bruh I've just been fighting my own brain rn,like all I can think about rn is how bad I wanna watch the new episode for helluva boss and how much I can't wait.

So like art,talking,all of that?Gone.Out the window.

But I did it,I art :D

Every time I draw her I always somehow end up drawing her demon form-

Anyways more art

That's human her-

I remember how much I cherished her as a kid,she was like the first or one of the first creepypasta ocs I ever made.Now I was shit at storytelling but those ocs were basically my only thought process for three whole years.

I both cringe and think nostalgically back to these characters alot,and I've been reworking the things in her backstory that younger me came up with.

All that I can truly remember is a few things.

-She was killed and turned into a slender somehow

-she hated slenderman and had a group that was actively against him(I remember a few of the people that worked with her so I might redesign them too)

-She was really strong,physically strong.Idr if she had any powers back then,I don't think she did qwq.

-Her sister was a slender as well???

-Her whole thing was roses,she was flower themed.Why?Idk I just liked themes,still do.But back then it was like alot of alot of flowers.

-She spoke fluent Spanish

-She had two daughters(one of wich I focused on the most and inspired later ocs)

-Bisexual

I never had a reason for exactly how she had become a slender like being,and I'm still trying to figure it out.

But basically,plot convince demon :]

My own excuse for how she litterally became a slender like creature,was because a demon attached to her at a young age and was planning to trap their soul in their own body and taking over.

She said no and cheated death.

And then she chose a slender like form out of pure spite.She can change into a demon like form and has some shapeshifting abilities,she basically trapped the demon instead.

(This might change bc I know nothing about creepypasta lore qwq)

She and her sister were killed around the time slenderman started first showing up like litterally thousands of years ago.And she's been trying to avenge her own death and that of her sister.

She's also taken up protecting the innocent,mainly his soon to be victims.Often hiding his targets from him and,she also tends to scare away people who try to enter the woods.

In like my first try to redesign her,she had the ability to sense right and wrong.But I'm changing that to she can sense bad intentions and wrong doing.

She was always more of a silent and vengeful character,her heart in the right place but not exactly the greatest at expressing it.She was an introvert who was very observant wich made it easier to hit were it hurts,but also using it for those she cares about.

Not the best with words but likes expressing her love through small little details she picks up on.

I tried a generator to try and give her some hobbies and then I just pick a few but to name some,I was given ferret racing.Planking,and spreading fake news on Facebook-

....

No-

Ima take the ferret thing and just say she particularly likes ferrets and also rats as well bc come on rats are adorable-

Hobbies ima have to think on another time.But yeah,her.Love her.

If ya see this,hi!Hope the rest of your day goes well! :D

Have these :>

And also blurry dog

[greatsealed]

have you played fes or portable? it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on how they differ from reload to you!

oh i grew up playing FES & p3p!!!! i would love to go off

i won't lie, persona 3 is an extremely nostalgic and comforting game for me, so i was honestly terrified about a lot of p3r's changes. i remember reading articles months before the game came out about how all of the voice actors for SEES were new and how all of the tracks were gonna be remixed and i was legitimately terrified. i grew up with the original cast and got so attached to them/their careers that i looked up other media that they were in. to this day they are voice actors i can recognize and name right away!

the original soundtrack for p3 is so iconic too and i thought it'd lose its charm when it got remixed, but boy, was i wrong. the new battle theme (it's going down now), the lyrical changes to burn my dread - last battle, even the exam music and changing seasons. UGH, changing seasons has to be my absolute favorite of all of them... adding lyrics to the most catchy part is the best thing they could have done.

i will say (and this might be nostalgia talking), i am still really sad that yumi kawamura got replaced as the singer for nearly every song. i think the main songs that mess with me are the ones where her iconic vocals are replaced ("deep mentality" Specifically doesn't sound right with the new vocals imo), but on the whole, i like a ton of the new songs and the remixes.

onto things that aren't surface-level changes, lmao-

i absolutely adore the screentime they added for strega. they played a part in persona 3, but they were always in the background. chidori got 90% of the screentime. seeing takaya have a crisis over his feelings for the protag & jin being super codependent with takaya was SO good. hearing more about their reasoning and their backstory being more fleshed out ugh;;; the bit with the prototype evoker fucked me up especially. and seeing takaya eventually resort to using an evoker in his boss fight? HURTS

(aigis vc) RYOJI RYOJI RYOJI, DEATH DEATH DEATH. the original game (while playing as the male protagonist, at least) did not focus on the relationship between him and the protag, like...at all. which is so funny because they made it a highlight in the manga AND the movie! i've always loved ryoji to bits, but i've also had to rely a lot on the femc's route and the movie to think about how they could have bonded in the original :( thank god reload gave my boy more content because he NEEDED it. ryoji's connection to the protagonist should really be emphasized in every piece of media, and they FINALLY did it. also just about every day before i reached november, i would rant to my husband about how "there needs to be more ryoji/protag content. it doesn't HAVE to be on the level of "i'd love you even if you were a boy" but i need SOMETHING." and then atlus smacked me with "i want to be something more" and i LOST IT. THEY DID THE THING. atlus embracing the romantic tension between them MY BELOVED. (in case it isn't obvious, ryomina is my favorite ship)

SHINJIRO. the first time i played persona 3, i really didn't care for him (i've never liked characters who are stand-offish and constantly push people away without apparent reason). it was only after i realized the greater backstory that i learned to appreciate and sympathize with his character, and imo, one of p3r's greatest additions was the ability to interact with shinjiro and ken before shit goes down. shinjiro's plotline where you try to convince him to go back to school is devastating, especially when (spoilers) you find a re-enrollment form filled out in his room. absolutely fucking HEARTBREAKING. i already cried during his death (way more than i did in the original game, which is kinda crazy), but damn, they got tears out of me AGAIN with that one. i also noticed that there's a lot more foreshadowing and it is SO effective. i already went off about this on my shinjiro blog, but damn, they fucking nailed it with him.

FRIENDSHIP ROUTES!!! i can't tell you how frustrating it was trying to balance social links between all of the girls. it made me lean more into focusing on yukari (best girl) and nobody else lmao. one of the points of persona 3 was that social links were near-impossible to complete, and they really realized that goal with the girls imo. however!! getting to see the protagonist opt for friendships is really sweet. i love seeing a good rejection where neither party holds a grudge or feels humiliated. it's a really nice touch, especially because i've always wanted to see how friendships would pan out between the mc and the Gorls.

general quality of life changes & the addition of theurgy. i love that theurgy had more depth to it than just a "super move;" looking at the personality conditions is so nice and adds more to the characters than they already had. seeing that shinjiro's resolve deepens when his hp is less than half made me so :'))))

those are big things i love about p3r's changes. aside from the protag not being able to change weapons (my favorite part of original p3), i think the biggest complaint i have is that they left out the answer (p3p has been ported to modern consoles, so you can still experience the femc's route, but the answer is ONLY on ps2 to this day), and even then, i've read that they're planning to add it as dlc.

i've said this before and i'll say it again: i know people have gripes with the answer, but i absolutely adore it. it's the most realistic portrayal of grief among the dorm, which hits differently for EVERYONE. every single change to their personalities makes sense, especially taking their reliance on the protagonist into account. it's made so much more obvious in p3r (which i love), but everyone cares deeply about the protagonist. losing him is a devastating blow. and then aigis gaining his power? yukari is SO justified for being distraught and jealous. that's the realest shit i've ever seen.

also the fights between them because they can't decide whether to go to the past or look to the future...the entirety of the answer is heartbreaking because it hits so hard. yukari, who (aside from aigis) was hit the hardest by losing the protag, obviously wants to go to the past, back to a time when he was alive. the others either want to compromise or move on. the answer is about accepting life's hardships and finding a way to move on and that's beautiful. it's always hit so hard for me.

that's not even delving into metis and aigis UGH... i could go off about the answer forever.

as for p3p-

i played p3p nearly every day when i was in middle / high school. i'd bring my psp to school and play it religiously. i still remember blasting "heartful cry" on my ipod and playing p3p on the bus, lmao.

it's not my favorite iteration of persona 3 now (p3p was good for travel + when i was in school and needed something to get me through the day), but i do have a soft spot for how much effort was put into the femc's route. i will say that i'm not as devastated as a good chunk of the fandom that the femc isn't in p3r or even p3d, but i do love her character and i hope she's also eventually added as dlc (if they're gonna add the answer, then why not add femc again?). i'm really glad she was included in pq2 though, ESPECIALLY because there were so many validating twin moments between her and the male protagonist :')))

i will say, as a final note, that p3r REALLY nailed the feeling of original p3, but i think it made me way more emotional with how it was executed. i've PLAYED the game a million times! i knew every plot detail, i knew exactly how the game would play out (aside from the new additions), and i STILL sobbed several times by the end of the game. i've said this to my husband, but p3r was so well-executed that i felt like i was playing the original game for the first time!! and as someone who has experienced the game MANY times, that's such an incredible feat. i adore the remake. i'm so glad that none of my initial fears were warranted.

for once: thank you, atlus.

[torra-and-the-toons]

Hey! I know this is a day late, but I had suddenly remembered what I wanted to ask you and thought I might as well ask now before I forget.

What do you think each Ed's parents think of their son's friends? (Eddy's parents thoughts on Edd and Ed, Edd's parents thoughts on Eddy and Ed, etc)?

I remember growing up at their age my parents knew at least who my closest friends were, and would of course have opinions (good or bad) on them. If you want you can also discuss how you think their impressions would change as they age (since we are going with the idea that they have been friends since early childhood).

That's okay! Thanks for stopping by! I'm happy to answer anytime, I just like that have a set day where I know I'm free to talk to people :) Plus this week was kind of a bust, which is totally fine I wasn't really sure if this event would last to begin with, so it's nice I'm still getting people coming to me to chat <3

As for the headcanons...

I think it's a given that nobody's parents like Eddy very much. He's an incredibly bad influence and kind of rude, but seeing as he's still around both Dee and Ed's parents at least seem to be respectable of their son's choices to keep him around. As Eddy gets older, I can definitely see him getting into more dangerous mischief that Edd's parents in particular would not care for one bit. I don't think they would make Double Dee stop being his friend, though, they would just be open about their opinions on Eddy to him and let him make his own choices. As for Ed's parents... I think they'd remain indifferent as he gets older as long as Ed doesn't get arrested along-side him lol.

On the contrary I think it's also a given that everyone's parents adore Double Dee. He's a model child, polite and kind, never causes trouble but somehow finds himself in the thick of it anyways. Now, I think the only person whose opinion of Double Dee might change as they get older is Eddy's Dad's but really only in the universe where Edd/Eddy is 100% confirmed canon. I feel like his dad's greatest concern over Eddy becoming a figure skater was a euphemism for his son being gay and/or not masculine (I think we all think that though lol) and if that really is the case, his opinion of Edd when he starts dating his son will change real fast, maybe even to the point that who knows what he'll do if he finds Edd at his house with his son. Eddy's dad strikes me as a scary man.

As for Ed, I think the feelings are mixed. I think Eddy's family doesn't care for Ed because they aren't sure how to deal with him. Not that they disapprove of him, they just don't want to deal with him. He's just a little too out-there for them. Edd's family, on the other hand, loves Ed. They're used to having a neuro-divergent kid, and though Ed's form of neuro-divergency is much different from Edd's, how they treat him and interact with him is no different. They see Ed for the big, loveable oaf he really is and love having him over. Nothing really changed as they get older because Ed never really changes much.

[quantumhealingava]

dolores cannon notes:

♡︎ 'She came back into this lifetime with the plan of helping other people, to make up for her inability to help in that lifetime. Her present father had been one of the Nazi soldiers, the first to rape her. He had returned to repay the injustice by being her father, intending to raise and protect her. That had been the plan, but it apparently changed after he got here into the body. The subconscious said he got caught up in the ways of the flesh, and forgot his original purpose. This shows that even though the incoming soul has a good plan and noble intentions to repay karma, life has a way of affecting them, and being human is not that easy. On the other side it always looks easy, like it would be simple to accomplish. But the incoming soul forgets that, because this is a world of free will, it will have to contend with the free will of others, and the pressures of being human dealing with emotions. So he was caught up in it, and regrettably accumulated more karma. Both of these men are to be pitied rather than reviled.'

♡︎ 'A case of extreme depression and isolation from society (since childhood) was traced back through two former lifetimes. Although the man was born into a very large family (12 children), he never felt a closeness to any of them. There was always the feeling of isolation, and depression. This continued throughout his life: a feeling of apathy, of not caring, of being an observer on the outside looking in. He was treated by psychiatrists and put on medication for depression, but he didn’t think it did any good. Even natural remedies had no affect. One diagnosis called it “Freedom from harm” complex. In other words, to avoid being hurt, it was easier to shut down and not get involved with people or anything. It was a lonely existence, even his job gave him no satisfaction. Suicide only made things worse, because the law of karma says that you must repeat the same circumstances until you learn the lesson. And that certainly seemed true, as he tearfully said, “My life now is a repeat of that one. I didn’t escape from anything.” He thought the first woman that he was attracted to in this present life was the same woman from the other life, and she also rejected him. History was repeating itself.'

♡︎ 'He still thought about his lost love, and wanted to be with her again. He was told that love was what it was all about, but to experience the same relationship again would not advance him. He could be with her again, but in a different role capacity. That was what it was all about: switching and playing different parts, often with the same people. Thus we return again and again, switching back and forth in our role-playing in the next scenario. The important thing to remember was that we could never lose that love. Death cannot separate us. It is just placed in another form, but it is never lost. Love is the greatest lesson of all, no matter how many challenges it must go through. We are always reunited in one form or another. To understand love and experience it is the ultimate lesson. Once we understand this, we can have love and compassion for everyone, for we never know which role they have chosen to play this time around.'

♡︎ 'When the body dies, is there any pain associated with it when the spirit leaves?

A: No. It seems that the spirit leaves the body shortly before the physical body actually dies. I thought of sudden death in war. There seems to be great confusion. Also other sudden, “accidental” deaths. In old age and in illness, the spirit takes trips out in preparation.

Q: Many people have told me that when a baby is born, the spirit doesn’t remain in the body all the time. Is this correct? A: The spirit is aware of the time of conception, and it is possible for the spirit to “check in” on the progress of the fetus. It seems to enter at birth or shortly after. But because it is so connected to the spirit world, it does take “trips” to visit the familiar home. Sudden infant death seems to be when the spirit chooses to stay in the spirit world. Or perhaps stayed longer than the newly emerging physical body is able to operate on its own. It seems that we do need the force of the spirit in cooperation with the physical body in order to maintain physical life.'

♡︎ 'Q: Is there really much difference between meditation and prayer?

A: There is a large difference. “Prayer” is consciously directed energy. “Meditation” is being open to what comes in. Prayer is directing, not so much asking. Prayer means to consciously direct your thoughts which are your power.

Q: Then prayer is a real thing?

A: Prayer is definitely real, and it is definitely powerful.'

[awkwardgtace]

Ocs ask game 4, 8 and 15 for Pelago and Rhys

Thank you for the ask anon!! Ask Game

4.When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? God Rhys: Kind of frowns, his eyes turn blue with a bit of lavender. He's worried why you'd ask a god something about childhood. "Most gods have never been a kid. We just sort of come into being as we are. I guess Sola and Luna are kids, but they're a special case. I guess if you mean when I first existed it was a decent god of love? I was more annoyed by everyone's selfishness at first though."

Tiny Rhys with giant parents: He blushes and refuses to meet the eyes of the one talking to him. He's not happy about what he wanted back then, well more he's embarrassed. "I… wanted to be a giant or just as big as my dad. After I got older and realized that couldn't happen I wanted to be a writer like dad. Eventually journalist sounded good, but it's not exactly what I do now."

human Rhys with same size parents: Folds his arms and stares at the ceiling to think about his answer. "I think I wanted to be a lawyer at one point. I wanted to be famous too so I could reveal my small family and make people respect them. I realized how risky that was before I ever told anyone. Hmm I guess I just went with the flow after that." He looks a bit sad as he tries hard to think about his dreams from childhood. He couldn't come up with many. "Oh… a journalist I guess. I was good at getting information, decided against it at some point. I don't remember why, maybe cause I just had fun eavesdropping on the others than getting real information." He puts on a grin after that.

Borrower Rhys with same size parents: Makes a face like the question itself is pointless. "A good borrower, what else would I want to be?" Refuses to elaborate folding his arms and turning away. It's pretty clear that he had some other ideas he was embarrassed about. A few seconds of silence pass before he turns back with a red face. "Fine I wanted to become a human to keep them safe! Happy?" He runs off to avoid any questions about it.

Mafia Giant Rhys: Narrows his eyes gauging how honest he can be with this question. He's not sure that it's safe to reveal his true thoughts. After a few seconds his face softens a bit and he accepts he can be honest. "I wanted to be a hero. It's how I saw my parents and I wanted to be like them. In a way I followed through. I'm helping humans just like they did, but I wouldn't say it's being a hero. Just the lesser evil." He has a bitter smile and walks off before any new questions can be asked.

Mermaid Pelago: Her tail is swishing wildly and her face has a bright smile. She starts to sway back and forth before getting close for her answer. "I wanted to be one of the greatest magic users ever! I also thought about being a human for a while. It seemed so much fun, but my year on land was more than enough to change that idea! What about when you were a guppy?" Her eyes are bright. It's hard to ignore her question, but a gentle reminder she's being interviewed has her accept she can ask later.

Fae Pelago: Her wings are absolutely buzzing. She's so excited to think about it. For her, childhood was a time of wonder. "I wanted to be one of those human mages! They always looked so helpful. I started practicing changing my own size right away. I didn't know they tested your reaction to iron before you could become one officially." She pouts and crosses her arms. It doesn't take long for her smile to come back and she's switched to her human form leaning close again. "Although what I do is much more fun. That silly mage guild is so stuffy. I much prefer my freedom to travel I've seen so many fun things." She's looking at her interviewer expectantly, she wants questions to answer about her travels rather than to offer it on her own.

8. What do you like to do for fun? God Rhys: Smiles with his eyes going a pink bright enough it looks like they're glowing. "Most often I'm spending time with Vincent. He's starting to see more than just a god when we talk. It's a lot of fun. I also play with technology that mortals haven't quite figured out yet. Once they reach it there will be amazing things made. I can't wait, I think Felix is looking forward to those days too."

Tiny Rhys: He has a smirk on his face and checks that none of his giant family members are around. "I like to take apart the things the others say are too dangerous. I know what I'm doing and they're so interesting. When they're watching too closely, I just take apart things they've given me. I also climb up them, it's funny to see the looks of fear when they realize what I'm doing. Plus it usually turns into getting to hang out with them while they do whatever is important for them to finsih." He looks around the room again, the smirk on his face grows bigger. "Speaking of which… they left one of those phone things out that none of them use anymore. I can't pass up this chance." He's gone quickly, not giving any time to deter his fun.

Human/big Rhys: He makes a face like it should be obvious. "I play games, sometimes with my family. Watch movies and talk with friends. It's fun when some of the others watch what I'm doing. Even if it means I can't do exactly what I planned. Although I do still eavesdrop a lot. I need to know what's going on in case I have something new I want to try that my parents won't agree wtih. It's been great, Del has more than enough she hides for it to work out usually."

Mafia Giant Rhys: Sighs, accepting he has to reveal things he usually wouldn't. He's not particularly happy saying things he likes to do. It could always be used against him. "I go out drinking a lot. Gathering information is fun, more fun when the ones I'm with think I'm stealing humans they bought." He has a shit eating grin as he thinks about his last night out. "A lot of fun when I make others think I'm selfish like that. No one wants to piss of Vitus Kamia by hurting his youngest kid, although I'm not the youngest haven't been since we met Ryder." His face changes a bit of a softer look comes over him. "When I'm not out I have fun hanging out with Ryder. The human's insane and appears out of no where all the time. We just spend time together. I also spend time trying to help Sola and Luna have fun around the house. They're so small and so nervous…" He trails off. It's clear his answers are done. His fun is time with his family, even if he tries to pretend it's mostly the drinking and slight of hand tricks to get humans out alive.

Mermaid Pelago: She's swimming in circles with a big smile. "Now I spend time finding new spells to teach Caprice. He's so talented making his own spells. I have a lot to do to make sure he doesn't get better than me! Otherwise I just explore. Byss comes with me to make sure I don't get hurt. He's such a worrier. I'm more than capable of scaring off other mers or big fish. Kyrie is even worse. The guppy tries to keep me in his hands when he follows me around. Although he is big enough it's a lot faster to do that. It's a bit more fun when I'm trying to escape his hands." She has a warm look as she thinks about her time with Kyrie and Byssal. It's clear despite her complaints she has the most fun when they join her on her trips around the sea.

Fae Pelago: She's in human form and rocking on her feet. She looks in the distance at something no one else can see. "I fly as high as I can. Looking down on everyone around me. Someday I want to fly high enough that even Kyrie out of his armor looks small." She has a distant look before coming back to her senses. The bubbly personality is back as if the far off somber look never existed. "Otherwise I go spy on others. It's so much fun to see what people do when no one their size is around. I've even seen elf children playing games they stole from humans! Sometimes I show myself to children and join their games too. Byss doesn't like when I do that. He thinks I'm putting myself at risk." She absentmindedly raises a hand to one of her scars. "Children have never been the cruel ones. I'm safe with them. They're the closest to thinking like fae. It used to be common for fae to spend time with children… It changed so long ago…" A somber look takes over there's something she's thinking that she doesn't say. It's known if you ask she'll answer, but the look makes you pause. It's not an answer for now, it's an answer that needs to come from somewhere else.

15. Who is the most important person in your life? Why? God Rhys: Stares at something on the desk in his room. It clears up to be scissors, ones with intricate designs like the dagger he gave Delphia. He looks away, placing his hand over them to hide them from view. It's not hard, they're small enough it's a shock he sees them. "If you asked some time ago it would be Delphia, now it's Vincent. He's scarred from a life that was filled with torment. Torment because he could see something I see. He was hurt in my name… Even if I didn't have feelings for him I'd do everything to keep him safe. He shouldn't be punished for seeing the connections people share. It's a gift, not a curse. At least it should be…" The hand over the scissors tenses. As if he just realized what he said. His eyes start changing too fast to land on a single color. Petals blind you and he's gone, the scissors are gone too.

Tiny Rhys with giant parents: Makes a face like asking this was cruel. He just sighs and accepts defeat. "My dad… he always looks so mean, but he's probably the nicest person out there. He takes good care of everyone, even the people who think he's cruel. The only ones he'll do anything to are his size, even if someone my size did something he wouldn't hurt them. He'd just talk to them and maybe get them way from whoever they hurt."

Human/big Rhys with small family: He flexes his hands a few times. Stares at them before staring at the interviewer. "I mean, it's more than one. My smaller family. I can't really pick just one. I want them to be safe and happy, as long as I'm here. They live in a world that's so big and take care of so many things on their own. I don't want them to ever have to struggle." He hugs himself. "I can't really imagine what that would be like. How that would be in a world like ours."

Mafia AU Rhys: He stares at the ground. Almost like he thinks someone is going to be there. "Ryder… He was the first human to ever trust me. I'd met others and they always thought I'd hurt them. Sola, Luna, and mom are important humans too, but Ryder's different. He had no reason to trust us or want to stay." He curls his hand into a fist and starts shaking a bit. Staring into his eyes they've turned intense, terrifyingly so. He sneers with his sharp fangs on full display. "If anyone tries to hurt him or claim he's not part of our family I'll take care of them. That includes you." His eyes look predatory and it's clear he doesn't trust you despite answering. It might be best to avoid anything more where Ryder is concerned.

Mermaid Pelago: She smiles with a warm look. She seems a bit bashful. She floats down in the water, blowing bubbles up as she does. "Byssal… Kyrie is a close second. Byss just… I remember when we met. He wasn't too much younger than I was. He looked so lonely. As soon as I agreed he was like a different person. So happy to be near me. He was near his first growth period too. When he wound up so big I understood why it was hard for him to find a teacher. It was probably a little selfish, but I was so happy he sought me out especially after that. He made me feel special." She swam up a bit, pulling her tail close to her. "I always thought he'd leave. His training ended before he'd even grown to his full size. He stayed and was so careful. Byss solidified himself as important when he showed up with Kyrie as a guppy. The overgrown pup was terrified that he'd hurt the guppy."

Fae Pelago: She was a fae again buzzing around in the air. She flit back and forth clearly trying to decide what to say. "It's too hard to choose. My wingless song and spell are so important. They have been through so much. Then of course the overgrown heart!" She notices your confusion, pausing before realizing she's been using nicknames. "My song, Melody, my spell, Caprice, and my overgrown heart Kyrie. All of them are so important. They're so similar too. Byssal is different though. He's initimidating and sometimes violent. He's killed humans, elves, wolves, anything his size or smaller. Except fae. It's never for the wrong reasons and he frees the creatures trapped by them too. He freed me, even let me stay while I healed. I can't really pick, they're all so important to me." She buzzes around only growing more energized. She's trying to pick, but it's impossible. She has her reasons for each and she loves them too much. She makes a face before nodding. "Ok it's settled. It's all of them! I can't choose and I can't lie to pick one!" She flutters excitedly, positive she reached the perfect answer.

[kaur-13]

The Guru, His Sikh and Sikhi 💕 -

Ameture POV.

We don't know when the World was created and exactly when humans were created and how they evolved.

Ages passed, from the stone age to the current technological era, we have come a long way.

And along this way we have not only changed the environment around us but also inside us.

The world now is fast and unfortunately more furious. We have more time now than ever, as everything is mechanised and AI based. But again unfortunately our free time goes in vices rather than virtues, in electronic media rather than meditation and in boasting our human ego rather than remembering our creator. Also more time leads to more thoughts, more questions on life, living, the world and ourselves.

This is where my Guru comes and guides me.

There is one Creator Waheguru, who is all knower, forever gracious and immensely kind.. To save the World from drowning in its own vices, he Sent Guru Nanak Dev Ji Sahib in Kalyug to enlighten the World for the coming eras.

First in 10 physical forms then in the form of eternal Shabad Guru.

Sikhi - learning to live, the will to learn to live till the last breath, as even your last breath can save your soul from dying.

As life's creator is the best teacher to teach us how to live this life gifted by him, he Sent Dhur Ki Bani through our Guru Sahiban to teach us, enlighten us and make our life meaningful, truthful and beautiful.

Without the right Guru or with a false Guru, one is bound to go in the wrong direction which he may not realise immediately but will definitely repent later in life or afterlife.

Importance of Guru is highlighted in the first salok itself.

"Pavan Guru"

Guru is someone you can't live without. Someone who is always there, always gracious, synonymous with life, breath of the soul.

For a Sikh, his Waheguru and Guru is everything.. teacher, father, mother, friend, the love of his life, his life, his saviour from the dark age of kalyug.

Most of us face different phases and difficult phases in life. For me, my biggest vice being my overthinking, in the difficult phases or even otherwise, I have so many questions about life, its significance, importance, etc. but these kinds of difficult phases make us realise the reality of life and sometimes these small difficulties, teach us great life lessons. In these moments we feel lost, sad, anxious and in these difficult moments we seek guidance, confidants, direction to move ahead, support and love.

In such times I feel grateful to the almighty to make me a Sikh of my Guru, as when no one is there, he is always there for me, in the form of Shabad Guru, his presence, his remembrance, his teachings always vibrate in my mind.

I am not a good disciple, but he is the greatest Guru in this World and so I am immensely thankful, blessed and grateful to be his and loved by him.

The world is an ocean of poison and there is an even greater ocean of my sins. Blessed am I to have a Guru who is never going to stop teaching me to swim and even if I sink, he'll take me across with his love ❤️

' oh Daya krna nhi chhad-da

Tu Bharosa krna na chhodi'

[linglingc]

I believe there is a different way to live especially now in this era, everything is changing more digitally, so it is best to adapt. you can choose to live your old lifestyle, but you can also choose to move with the times, you don't have to change completely, just what you resonate with you and what you can adapt.

I don't like being forced to work for minimum wage and wasting my time. I know what is good for my mental health and the 9/5 coprate job is not the purpose of life.

we live in a time when you can earn money in different ways because yes you need money to live, but I want to get out of the rat race aka matrix and just be my authentic self

and if I want my income passively, I would rather choose to work for myself. then I can also choose which people I want to work with, because as an introvert it is exhausting every day over and over again to work with people.

it is different to get out of bed and because you consciously choose what you do with your time instead of going through life on autopilot through the day because I have to earn a minimum wage.

I remember the feeling so well, it was liberating when I finally knew what life was about, what life was all about. and how I want to live my life.

first you have to know who you are and fuck that if you think it's corny cliche shit, because it's just true, your authentic self is the greatest energy magnet that exists

knowing what is best for you, what your love language is, what works best for your skin, what food is best for you, what kind of humor do you enjoy, what kind of music do you like, what kind of favorite color, what kind of exercise do you enjoy, what are your love languages ​​not just for your partner but for yourself, your friends, your family, strangers.

what didn't work for you at first when you were a child but now does as an adult, what kind of smell do you like, laughing together with your friends about the stupidest things, dancing, dancing, dancing, you are a vibrating being, exchanging ideas and thoughts that can help each other helping, telling stories, loving animals, you are the human form of the universe

you have different forms of the universe.

imagine. you wake up in a lovely clean soft bed with your favorite duvet cover, you feel rested because you have slept wonderfully, you are not in a HURRY omg, you have all the time, you get up, take a nice shower, sing in the shower, freshen up with your favorite shower products

You put on a nice outfit that you feel completely like yourself in, you radiate, you have a nice breakfast, you are not in a hurry, and then you enjoy your day, which you have planned or not because it is your rest day! but the most important thing about this is you are not in a hurry, you do not live on autopilot, you live consciously, you breathe consciously. you will work on your hobbies or go to the market for fresh fruit, you will work on the knowledge that you want to learn as a person. you grow as a person instead of feeling stuck because you are too tired to develop because your freedom and energy has been taken away from you by the fucking big bad ´´ grow the fuck up´´ people world because you have to 'earn a living'.

It´s about experiencing not about being percieved.

And to be honest nobody cares, nobody fucking cares, you have to care, care for yourself. no one knows what they´re doing.

and people who complain about uuh you have to grow up, go find a "real job" uhuuhu that they also hate or have a burnout from but don't want to admit because they can't think any different because they have been programmed to think that way. and then ´´I'm proud of myself uhuuu I worked so many hours this week´´, but when they get home they have no time and energy for themelf or the people they love and just sit there in autopilote mode blind , not living but just excisting through time. Caught on other people´s fucking drama thats not important. Always negative, always complaining, always the victim. but never do the work to make the best of it themself

saying that this is reality and that you just have to accept it, but never be open to the fact that there are as many other realities as possible. Everyone has their own definition of what reality is. Just because you grew up with it that way doesn't mean it's a fixed reality. They're fooling you.

[pof203]

A Summoner Birthday

Previous post: https://pof203.tumblr.com/post/723608709178277888/a-summoner-birthday

Battle ahead.

Enemies:

Red Oni

Yellow Oni

Purple Oni

???

Preselected Characters:

Lupin

Wakan Tanka

Boogeyman

Moritaka

Smoky God

Selected Support Character:

Roar of the Waves Triton

Story (Chapter 8 Part 2)

Fear the Darkness!

With that one strike, the oni are sent away in fear.

Well that was quit the work-out. We should try that again sometime.

I won't deny it, I needed that spar.

There was a loud ding and the doors open.

The elevator's here!

Let's go on board.

You all get on the elevator which is big enough to be a room in itself.

Boogeyman: We had to take in account how roomy the tower is from top to bottom. Plus, we don't have to go up and down a lot just to take a few things up there.

Boogeyman presses the up button and the elevator goes in that direction. As you wait for the elevator to go its destination, you and Wakan Tanka notice Smoky God staring at the later with a serious look.

Is something wrong, My Smoky God?

Smoky God: ... I wish you wouldn't call me that.

Lupin: It looks like you have something you want to say to Wakan.

Smoky God: ... Maybe. I thought it would be Shinya, but I think he's changed his mind. I guess I'm the only one, now.

Wakan Tanka: If you have something to say to me, say it. It's a long wait until we reach the top.

Lupin: If you like, I can leave you two to talk in peace. I can wait.

Wakan Tanka: Thanks, My Lupin.

You go over to join Boogeyman and Moritaka while Wakan Tanka and Smoky God talk.

Wakan Tanka: So, what is it you want to say?

Smoky God: Well, it's about... It's about what you said to Taurus Mask. Are you really thinking of leaving us for the Summoners?

Wakan Tanka: If I have a reason, then yes. I'm only staying with you so I can teach you empathy. The Invaders don't have to be the bad guys in this loop.

Smoky God: I know. But still, why? Why leave one of the greatest and most powerful Guilds just to join such a lower-class one? I now you love its Guild Master, Asura, but you have to remember, he's the main prize in the Game. When this is over, he can only be with one of us because that one might be the only one left standing. I hope you're ready for when that day comes.

Wakan Tanka: I am more than ready. I am willing to fight for My Lupin, for My Heyoka, to matter what it takes.

Smoky God: Even your life, considering the form you're in now? Speaking of which, why are you mostly in this form? Why choose to continue being a mortal form as a pillar when you could stay in your immortal form as a World Rep.? In that form, you truly might get to keep your Heyoka. But in that form...

Wakan Tanka: I'm mostly in this form because I want to be. I want to show everyone who I've come to care about that no matter what happens, even if I become trapped in that form again, it's still me. But that form, how I gave them my love didn't feel right. I know it can be painful, but still, it was too much for anyone to handle. Even a god like me. But at least in this form, I would give my love in ways that may still hurt, but it can also heal. Aren't there times when you wish you could love something while only hurting them little?

Smoky God: I won't deny it, I do. There isn't a day that goes by when I wish I could be with someone and not hurt them knowing that I may have to leave them. I'm just worried for you. Ever since coming to this Tokyo, I felt like I found a friend in you. I just don't want to see you get hurt.

Wakan Tanka: (with a reassuring smile) I'm glad you told me this. But I promise, I'll be fine.

There was another ding coming from the door.

Boogeyman: We're here.

The door opens and you get out. The room you're in does indeed like like that of a storage shed, but with a more bedroom feel to it.

Moritaka: So what are we looking for?

Boogeyman: We're looking for a box that says "Breakers" on it. But be careful. After shutting down the system and turning it back on which brought the others here, there's no telling what else maybe up here.

After looking for a bit long, you think you've found what you were looking for.

Lupin: I think I found it!

You try to grave the box. However...

*WHACK*

Something hits you on the hand and you back away to see who did so.

What is this!? What are you doing here!? How did you get up this tower!?

Lupin: Volos!?

Volos?: Oh no you don't. I know why you're here. You're here to steal from me, too! Just like how that man stole my greens and how that prince tried to take the girl from me! Oh no, you won't get anything this time!

Boogeyman: Looks like we found our witch.

Moritaka: I guess even Volos wasn't safe from being taken.

Lupin: Then we know what we have to do.

Wakan Tanka: Right.

Wakan Tanka goes up to Witch Volos.

Just watch, My Smoky God. I'm about to show you what I mean.

Smoky God: ... (smiling) Heh. Very well.

But I'm not going to let you do this yourself. I'm fighting by your side.

That's right. We all will!

You're not planning to let me out of this one, are you?

Lupin: Right, we've got this! Together!

Garden Witch: Beware, I will not let you take anything. If you do, I'll take something from you... That one with the sack has nice hair. Perhaps I'll take him and trap him in this tower.

The battle begins.

To be continued...

[recoveringstoic]

Just for Today: I will remember that my honest story is what I share the best. Today, that's enough.

2022-11-12 11:25 Sharing in meetings has really taught me how to be authentic and honest with others around me, which is something I've always struggled with. Although I definitely lied a lot in the past to conceal my using and the chaotic life I led which resulted from it, my main problem with being authentic and honest has been omitting information. My omission of important information has affected my relationships with those around me who I love. Because of this, I've recently decided to be completely honest on principle, even if that means sometimes upsetting or disappointing those around me. I need to learn to face the consequences of my actions and accept that I'll live a better life if I'm completely authentic and honest.

When I first started omitting information about my life, I thought it was to protect those I loved. I didn't want to disappoint them by telling them about all the wrong I had done. Now though, I realize that what I was doing was selfish. I didn't want to be seen for what I was, which was a reckless, manipulative addict. I prevented people I love from making their own fully-informed decisions, and I regret this. I've hurt people that I thought I was protecting with my dishonesty.

In addition to being dishonest with others, I've also been very dishonest with myself. It took me a long time to come to terms with certain elements of myself, and for a long time I lied to myself about who I was. Because of this, I lost my sense of self. I'm just starting to get this sense of self back, through living a clean and honest life. It's only been a short while since this dramatic change, but I can already see the difference. I'm anxious less often, forming healthier relationships, and I'm able to recognize what I need to function properly. Deciding to be honest with myself has been one of the best choices I've made in a long time, along with finally deciding to get clean. It feels like my life is finally under control, like the way I'm living is sustainable now. I'm happy.

Although I'm making an effort to be authentic and honest at every opportunity, I'm not perfect. I still have trouble, and this trouble mostly stems from fear of what others will think of me if they know my full story. As I've already mentioned, I was a succesful sneaky addict for a longtime, and bad habits die hard. But I'm making an effort, and I'm trying to change how much value I place on other people's opinions of me.

Opinions are one of the three forms of impressions identified by the Stoics, along with knowledge and apprehension. Sextus characterizes opinion as "weak [and false] assent,". It is the most unreliable and least valued of the three types of impressions, with knowledge being the superior and apprehension as the intermediate between them.

"It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own," (Aurelius)

As social animals, it's tempting for us to look to the opinions of others to inform our decisions and beliefs. But not only is this habit lazy and harmful to our emotional wellbeing, it's also a waste of one of our greatest gifts: our ruling faculty. Our ruling faculty is what gives us the freedom to see any occasion as an opportunity for growth and practicing virtue. By relying on the opinions of others to inform our decisions, we lose our freedom as rational beings. We become slaves to their opinions, and this can cause us great harm.

Even when we are in the good graces of others and their opinions of us are positive, we should make sure to remember that the benefits of social success are fleeting, "as well as the fact that they are accompanied by a vairety of evils, including anxiety, envy, and unfulfilled desire," (Nadler, 9).

Regarding the opinions of others, Marcus reminds us not to "waste the remainder of [our lives] in thoughts about others, when [we] do not refer [our] thoughts to some object of common utility," (Aurelius, Meditations, Book 3, 15). From my understanding, what he's saying here is that we waste our time when we concern ourselves with the opinions of others, and our time could be better put to use by using our mind for something productive. This fits in with the Stoic practice of evaluating what our mind is being used for at any given moment, since our ruling faculty is what makes us human. By focussing on the opinions of others, you're wasting the capacity of your ruling faculty.

Despite being a waste of our time and ruling faculty, Marcus notes that we also should not seek the "tranquility which others give. A man must stand erect, not be kept erect by others," (Aurelius, Meditations, Book III, 5). I think that this passage is really valuable because it reminds me that relying on others' opinions to feed our self-image puts us at the mercy of people whose opinions are ever changing and unreliable. It's dangerous to base our self-worth and understanding on these opinions, and much healthier to be internally satisfied with ourselves. By being fully satisfied with ourselves, without relying on the opinions of others, we are able to live more stable, functional, and emotionally fulfilling lives.

Instead of looking to the opinions of others to fulfill us, Marcus recommends in Book X of the Meditations that we should be satisfied with "acting justly" and with "what is now assigned to [us],". As long as in our hearts we know we are acting in justice, and satisfied with what God has granted us on any given day, the opinions of others are irrelevant. They cannot harm us, as long as we do not let them alter our character. Opinion does not prevent us from acting in virtue, nor does it prevent us from accepting God's will.

While we have to be weary of how we incorporate the opinions of others into our lives, we also have to be careful to monitor our own opinions of ourselves. As Marcus states in his Meditations, "perturbations come only from the opinion which is within," (Aurelius, Meditations, Book IV, 3). By monitoring our own opinions of ourselves, we can prevent ourselves from causing more problems through negative self-talk and self-doubt.

It's a pretty foundational element of Stoicism that most things are neither good or bad, and are instead neutral, or indifferent. What is good or bad is our perception and understanding of events; our opinions on external things. By self-monitoring our opinions of ourselves and trying to recognize where we place value (positive or negative) where there is none, we are better able to appreciate the neutrality, or indifference, of external things. This allows us to protect our emotional and spiritual wellbeing, allowing us to live in peace and virtue, and bringing us closer to eudaimonia, the ultimate satisfaction which we fulfills us completely.

[softguarnere]

i haven’t done a ship request in forever so hopefully i did this right i can’t remember lmao

for the most part, i’m pretty chill. i’m cool if you’re cool. if not, i can be salty and grumpy. most people would say i’m quiet, shy, and don’t talk much, but with friends, i’m a lot more animated and get more joke-y. i express a lot of my love through memes.

even though i probably qualify as someone you’d call ‘smart’ i’m much more in tune with my creative side (but that may just be the school trauma talking lmao) and i enjoy writing a lot. i also enjoy reading. my favorite are mysteries! other things i like doing is playing video games and watching YT vids about my latest hyperfixation. some more misc interests: history, true crime, anime, musical theater, and cute animals.

ngl i’m ace and so romantic/sexual relationships have never really been all too important to me. if it happens, it happens. ofc this is a ship request LOL, and while i don’t really have a type, i could only imagine living the rest of my life with someone who understands i’m not gonna be the most physically affectionate and that this neurodivergent potato needs space sometimes.

i’m not the biggest texter or responder to things either (usually not gonna be having lengthy convos in texts), and more of the type to randomly send someone something that reminded me of them at weird hours. but i’m not very high maintenance and if i love you, just chilling together is enough.

things i can’t stand in people: bigotry, pretentiousness, defensiveness when rightly called out for something, nazis (+ sympathizers) ✌️

Anon, I swear we could probs be best friends, because we have SO MUCH in common, oh my goodness. (And don't worry -- you did fine hehe) 😊

I ship you with . . .

David Webster!

Lowkey nervous to say that because I know a lot of people don't like him, but 👏hear👏me👏out👏

You know meet-cutes? Y'all accidentally have a meet-not-so-cute. You meet at Camp Toccoa and get off on the wrong foot because Webster is waxing poetic about weekend passes being canceled, and you think he's annoying and pretentious. Because of this, he ends up thinking you're more reserved, but once you finally get to know each other and you open up to him, he could swear that you're personality is brighter and warmer than the sun in the sky

This man is a hyperfixation enabler (in the best way)! He is so content to hear you infodump about the subjects that you're passionate about, and he's super happy to have someone to infodump about sharks with in return

Creative power couple. You're so supportive of each other's writing, helping each other through writer's blocks and bouncing ideas off each other. But he's also content to just sit next to you on quiet days while you both read. He just likes to spend time with you in any form

On occasion, he's a night owl -- especially if he's super hyperfixated on his work. He'll try his best -- like, he's trying really, really, hard, so credit where credit is due -- but he will probably wake you up in the middle of the night at some point to tell you a fact he thinks that you'll like. (And if you wanna show him facts that reminded you of him? His heart will literally melt, because he thinks being remembered is one of the greatest forms of love)

BUT at the same time, he completely gets it if you need space --especially physically. Honestly, he tends to get caught up in his writing so easily that if you need space, he's not gonna mope around or anything because he'll be using he time to work on his novel. I feel like y'all could just work so well together because, yeah it's fun to be around each other, but you both need time to recharge by yourselves, and there's no judgement in that

There is a learning curve, though, so you gotta give him some patience. It's not that Webster means to be overdramatic or pretentious, but sometimes he comes across that way, and he can be a little socially awkward because of it. Give him some time and he'll do better (because he would do anything for you), but patience is key while he learns

I hope you like poetry, because at some point, he is going to write some for you. Or just write anything about you. You know that quote about how "if a writer falls in love with you, you can never die"? Yeah, people reading his work hundreds of years from now are going to know exactly how head-over-heels David Webster was for you

Thanks for the request, Anon! I hope you liked this 💕🕊️