#also because its just two pretty people
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Has the site progressed enough for me to openly say I think Laios is aroace. Honestly his character is watered down a little when you focus on shipping him with anybody and I personally don't see it for him. Is that a headcanon other people hold or
#dungeon meshi#i also havent finished the series bc i finished the manga ravenously and if theyve done anything weird to it i wont take it well#oz.txt#i know this is the yaoi website or whatever but genuinely i dont get it when arguments are made for him and kabru or anyone in particular#he just comes across as autistic in the bits people bring up as monsterfuckery#chilshi is more endearing on those grounds alone#not a fan of l/abru on basis of it being boring and also oversimplification of both of them#also because its just two pretty people#tags are now disorganized due to an edit but you get the point
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itfs + reader is so real to me and it works like this: you’re megumi’s childhood best friend, somewhere along the way he meets yuuji, yuuji asks him out, and somewhere along the way—probably mid blowjob or something becuase that’s definitely when yuuji would be thinking about it—yuuji’s like “hey, so do you know you’re in love with your best friend or what?” and megumi literally chokes, and avoids him for like a week but eventually he does admit that he does know, but he also does really like yuuji and if they were normal, they’d break up, but they’re so very far from normal that it becomes a whole thing for them to get off while talking about you, for yuuji to taunt megumi about how he wishes you were here between them and tease him about naughty it is that he fantasizes about his best friend while getting sucked off by his boyfriend, and for megumi to tell him to shutup but then he babbles about all of he pent up fantasies about you anyway. yuuji likes messing with megumi’s guilt about this, and megumi hates how much he likes that yuuji is also into you, and somehow you being oblivious to this is a whole other kink they’ve got going on and have no idea how to sort out
#yuuji is so messed up in the head i PROMISE you this#he is the driving force between making everything a little bit weirder than it needs to be#also imagine that you and yuuji become friends once he and megumi starts dating which was cool for megumi at first#yk both people he loves like each other#but it becomes unbearable for megumi once yuuji Knows megumi is in love with you#because now yuuji likes to be Extra close to you likes to smush you and megumi together because he knows megumi wants so much more#and maybe a little bit of it is for himself too bc you're pretty and you and megumi sure do look pretty together#also it's yuuji that does the eventual seducing of you and you freak out#bc he kisses you or something and ur like nonononnonononono youre megumi's boyfriend he's gonna kill me and hate me forever#and yuujis like so what if I told you me kissing you what megumi's idea...#anyway...........#also yuuji just loves to drive home the idea that you and megumi were best friends#its a weird sort of vouyeristic corruption he has going on#like he indulges in watching u two ruin ur friendship... evil....#💌
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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merfolk in general are just. horrible horrible polyglots. their brains are already hardwired for language and quick language acquisition that remains active all their lives, further helped by retaining a high neural plasticity for their long lives, and especially enjoy complex language and language-based play and problem solving. but they also tend to have a lot of their society arranged where there's often multiple different languages at play within the same area, and only really stops being so once you get into especially small villages that have below the merfolk norm for outside contact. every merfolk alive today knows at least two languages, but most of them know far more than that, especially because one of those two will be the common-technical language. its been standardized and wide-scale implemented across the merkingdom after their dominance, to help bridge the gap between these different languages, basically as a successful version of esperanto. but its a trade language, and is mostly used for information you might want to reach as many people as possible, such as laws or business dealings or public announcements or the like. most merfolk don't view it as and don't treat it as a language proper, and its not what they prefer to converse in if they have another choice, usually finding it pretty limiting and restrictive, which is why its called common-technical.
miranda, being a royal who is regularly in contact with many different people around the merkingdom and regularly expected to be fully able to converse with them to do her job, knows just. so many languages. i might be changing exactly how many soon, but last time i counted it was in the low teens. like its just a perfect storm of her brain being wired for swift language acquisition and having a job that requires it and a position that means shes constantly around people from all around the merkingdom. not to mention having to know english too, which isn't just not her first language, it's not even her fourth language.
meanwhile, aaravi knows english and a little bit of hindi, less because of her mother and moreso because of her nana... its not that her mother never used it with her, but she was. less focused on using it or teaching aaravi, let's say. nana mishra uses it a lot more and is more interested in teaching aaravi when she asks her, especially in the intermittent period after her mom died and nana mishra was able to come back into her life to help aaravi pick up the pieces (though not after aaravi kind of. got left on her own. for an unfortunate amount of time). its just also fallen by the wayside with aaravi's whole Everything Else and kind of having a hard time accepting her nana's help and kind of being terrified of her (of no fault of her nana's, aaravi's just. she's just really traumatized after Everything, alright. having someone try to offer her help afterwards, especially when aaravi's scared of getting singled out as half human and half monster, is just. it's not something she can bring herself to trust.)
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt#aaravi doesn't trust people doesn't like people doesn't want to be around people#there's a reason she and miranda mutually trusted each other more in immediately having an antagonistic relationship#and its because she just can NOT trust any freely offered help#it HAS to come with a stipulation or a catch#and it was easier if she felt like miranda was presenting the catch upfront#like say what you will about miranda#but she IS someone who screams ''you CANNOT trust me'' on first brush#and exactly in the way you expect: the merkingdom#its not very hidden at all its just not clear which WAY itll fuck someone up#which is ironically also why miri gets frustrated if she feels like someone trusts her too immediately#because like#its right there#can you not figure it out. do you not realize shes got other stuff attached to her. that you shouldnt fall for the bait immediately.#can you not see the hook she'll catch you on. can you not even see her for that much that she is.#this isnt against her role as a royal its a part of it too tbh#the image she presents is very much intentionally both alluring and threatening#awe and fear you know#the royal family wants to be beautiful and great and impressive and far more than you will ever be#and they want you to know if you step a toe out of line they will destroy you utterly and parade your corpse through the streets#its not a paradox its very intentional to keep people on a leash#its just the landfolk who seem to forget that her position as princess is also an implicit threat#which is all distinct from when she wants to be silly and carefree and just maybe. free from that need to always behave properly.#which ironically aaravi also seems to hit far more accurately than anyone else#because she doesnt just want to discard the latter. she wants to discard the former too.#which is why aaravi often teases her at the same time and pokes and prods her#its a playful vulnerability you know. if shes not being threatening shes not being too impressive to touch either.#she wants to roll on the ground and for you to call her so pretty and a silly princess and to get lightly wrestled#you know. its two different things.
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Little "bouquet" of random flowers I found growing wild in a yard
#flowers#photo diary#I think people are way too mean about ''''weeds'''' and not appreciative of them. Like.. dandelions are super nice looking#and bright and pretty.. forget me nots are so cute and a nice color.. etc. all of these random things that just spring up in the yard#are so neat. and it's evil that people tear them up and mow them down all the time#I guess maybe I get dandelions because they can kind of take over a space?? MAYBE?? but even then#if I was going to have a yard that is just a giant empty plot of blank grass. I would ratherit have a scattering of dandelions than#just like....... nothingness.#Also super cool that this person I know has columbines growing wildly in the yard. They hate them and pull them up#since they've kind of ''taken over'' a patch of grass near a bench they use#but they're soooo cool... Though they only have the single color ones just purple. My favorite columbines are the ones that are two colors#and almost look like two flowers in one or something.#There's a hill near a road around here where poppies seem to be growing wild.. ough... I wish I could go and take some or something#I've tried to transplant forget me nots everytime I'm in some realitive or friend's yard who has them and I ask to dig a few up but#I think theyre just not the type of flower that really grows long term on a deck lol.. but I wish they were... I just really like the blue#color. THOUGH this year in someone else's yard I found a very cool flower just randomly growing wildly that I had never seen#before. It's called Bethlehem Lungwort and it has spotted leaves and multi colored flowers and it looked like a flower out of a cartoon#at first. Since it was randomly growing wild in a yard the person let me dig one of them upand its' still aliveon my deck actualy#It's not blooming flowers anymore but the leaves are still prospering fine. Though it seems to really dislike the super hot sun#and will wilt in this heat wave if I'm not watering it at least once every other day lol.. anyway
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∠( ᐛ 」∠)_ya boi made washi tapes, please consider Purchasing them. at cozylittleartshoppe on etsy. good print, good sticc, i am obsessed
#small business#washi tape#portal 2#infinity train#the owl house#etsy#support small business#there were sticky notes! they dont stick very good. they kinda have a couple problems. im still talkin it thru with my manu as of queueing#the print is ok - the print is great actually! they just dont. stick. and that's one thing#but they leave just a liiiitttle bit of sticky residue on the Next notepad in the stack#and you can see it#and it sticks just a little bit on the front of that next note. like 1/10 sticky; MAYBE 2/10 if ur unlucky.#if you tend to washi-tape your notes up anyway it's probably fine but im not sure what i'll do with them yet#but i have Two Hundred of them so uhhhhh#i'm thinking i'll sell them at a big discount. because they're still pretty ok as memo pads! but i have to see what my manu decides to do#which is such a shame because they LOOK really really really cool!!!!!! they just dont Sticky good#but also i have people buy seconds all the time and say 'i dont even know whats wrong with this' so i wonder if#my standards are way too high and people really would be ok buying these for like 50% off or something#hrmmmm. send dms/replies/asks (anons on) if you have any opinions#im hearing from other shop owners that generally unless its officially post-it brand it doesnt stick very well#but custom print post its are very expensive OTL so i think for now i'll just make non-stick post its in the future#the washis are beautiful and perfect though. i love the washis. beautiful perfect flawless tapes. they even have stickers on the side!!
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Sort of a ramble, sort of me just writing my thoughts out while I'm stuck with writer's block, but I keep thinking about how Fulcrum was in stasis for roughly 3 million years??
Like, that's a long time, even for Cybertronians. Not a really long time, not an entire lifespan. But still, it's a large chunk of a normal lifespan just gone. Poof.
One second you're crawling across the pockmarked terrain of an alien planet, surrounded by the sound of gunfire, and the shouting and screaming before and after each earth shuddering impact of another k-con hitting the ground. And then it's quiet. You're not there anymore. You're drifting somewhere between not alive and just asleep. Preserved somewhere in the background of a doomed body, ignored by time and space, still here, but also not.
And then there's sound. Not gunfire. Not shouting or screaming. Not the sounds that'll haunt you till your dying days, your own death sentence pounding in your head. No. Just voices, talking, standing out against a silent, dead world. Wondering. Joking. Bickering. Familiar. Just, not familiar to you. And you're awake. Pulled back from the nothingness you've been frozen in, consciousness tugged forwards with the yank of a fuel pump and the nearness of life.
These two moments are roughly 3 million years apart, but only minutes, maybe even seconds, to him. From a hectic harrowing battlefield, to an old silent graveyard in one blink.
How long did it take to really sink in? I mean, he seems to just roll with it. He doesn't seem particularly bothered. But like, what happened outside of what we see? How did he really feel?
Also, his body aged without him. While his mind preserved itself, freezing him as he was right then, his body was left to weather Clemency for all those years. No wonder it crumbled to dust when he jumped off the world sweeper. It's probably a miracle of some kind that it didn't just fall apart each time someone leaned on him.
And even after they rebuild him, give him a better, newer body. His spark, it's casing, all the irreplaceable core bits that make up their inner bodies, it aged in the time without him. Does he feel it? Does it make his body even more foreign to him?
Then he's also a technician with information that's 3 million years out of date. Lucky him that the scavengers probably weren't working with top of the line material. But still it's gotta be weird when faced with anything brand new, because a lot can change and progress in 3 million years, and now some of the knowledge he once prided himself in is obsolete.
Besides those things, his view of the galaxy, of the war, of their kind, of other kinds, is one of the few things actually pointed out when it comes to him being stuck in the past. So, how often were his old views challenged? Facts of life he held close proved to no longer true? There's 3 million years worth of new science, new beliefs, new words, new terms, new views.
And sure, some of it can be familiar, because they're an ever evolving kind, and they have patterns, core beliefs, repeating behaviors, but a lot of it's gonna be unfamiliar at the same time, because it's 3 million years worth of catch up, it's not like missing last week's trend.
In a way, it makes him a living relic of a bygone era for Decepticons. It would've been really interesting to have had that explored a little more.
#rq i wanna say i love seeing others thoughts on these if you have them. esp those that have thought about it longer than i lol#like. im still just starting to sink my teeth into the lore and put things together. so your thoughts are much appreciated#sometimes i wish that i could turn these rambles into those really well worded. slightly pretentious. but in a fun way. character metas?#but i dont think i can organize my thoughts that well. so. rambles it is lol#not to say rambling is lesser or smth tho. i love a good ramble. love to read them. i support ramblers#speaking of rambling-#idk why it fascinates me so. but theres just something rlly interesting about fulcrum being somewhat stuck in the past#i think it could've played interestingly into his and kroks dynamic had it been explored more?#like. the past and history play big parts in their lives. krok having studied it. and fulcrum having been fast forwarded thru it#it would've been interesting to see them talk more about it? since logically fulcrum wouldve gone to krok for more of the 3mill year rundow#and its like. krok is shown to be really knowledgeable on not only history. but cultures as well. theres and others.#so certain eras of their own culture would probably be a slight interest of his. esp decepticon ones.#and then theres fulcrum. who pretty much got plucked from the empire era only to land in kroks lap (metaphorically) ((...unless?))#so heres this walking talking piece of history. and a dude that has a sort of passion for history. why not explore it more?#and like. yeah. the ''history'' krok has studied is all mostly shit he lived through. but people study the times they lived through-#-because while they may have lived through it. theirs is only one perspective. a good historian takes into account multiple perspectives#idk where i'm going with this now. smth smth fulcrum relying on krok for future stuff and krok having someone to talk history stuff with#i just. augh. i wanna know what their dynamic is more. what we see in the comics is so back and forth at times#like. they seem to hit it off pretty well. but then fulcrum fucks it up ig by being oblivious and a little too ''i can fix him'' vibey#and his taste in comedy is bad. to say the least. which is apparently grounds for messy divorce#also krok is sometimes cool with selling a whole dude. at least when the dude is their befriended giant killer autobot buddy :/#that is also grounds for divorce. obviously#sorry. this is derailing the more i start thinking about how messy fulkrok could be. like. ough <3#they're a little ''i hate my wife'' coded. but in a greater scav codependent poly way. and it's more krok being annoyed with fulcrum#its like. fulcrum: ''i can fix him bcs i need to feel validated'' vs krok: ''wtf is wrong with this guy?! who does he think he is??''#i think they'd want to pick each other apart intellectually. maybe emotionally. smth smth two officers. both disgraced. and power dynamics#its fun. they're both hypocrites. they'd need couples therapy. its also 4am. shit. ok goodnight
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everytime i find out someone has assumed i had a crush on them because i treat them with (normal) platonic affection i die a little inside. i fear people have unnormalized just being decent and kind a little *too* much
#it is a tiny bit worse when they take things i did to be nice or make them feel better in that way. please!!#i just want!! to make you feel a bit better about yourself !!!! not that !!!! stop !!!! no!!!!!!!!!!! shoo !!! away !!!!!!!!!!!#-> in people's defense. i dont really have those same shames when it comes to assuring your friends or family you love them.#so that probably makes things feel different.#which i still think is odd!!! love is universal!!!!#-> also. most romantic songs ive listened to dont end up interpreted romantically in my little head LMFAHFSHOO#so that could also be it#(crepe chronic addiction to telling people songs remind her of them backfires on her)#;; sorry guys! i have a joyfriend that i love more than the world! please have those thoughts go away! pretty please! ew !#LMADSGHDOASO#-> ALSO !!!!!!!! this was not meant negatively!!!!!!!!!!!! it just makes me uncomfortable when people assume. its not their fault entirely#just feels abit icky. and odd. for people to have assumptions like that without any basis#i have been in love a total of two times in my life. ido not think im the slightest bit in *LOVE* you when i speak to you twice a week#-> slightly offtopic im glad i dont have to worrya bout confessions anymore with the fact i make my sexuality & status fairly clear#id kill myself if another man talked to me like that#i have an extreme curse.#and making sure i have the lesbian flag on any of my belongings has largely saved me#(for the most part)#crepe rambles#((none of this applies to mylovely joyfriend. i loveyou very much and your interpretations are always perfect. hi#you can assume all you want because you know me and are not weird in any capacity about me. 💜 muchappprecation
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Reading Asunder and I think I hate this more than the first two. The first two were often poorly done in a technical sense, and often had a lot of sexism. But Asunder is the "video game developers idea of gray morality" problem fucking distilled. The sexism is still here, and most of the technical issues are fixed (though certainly not fucking all) but like
Every two damn minutes it's: the noble and pure and pretty Evangeline (ignore the fact that like a kid starved to death under her charge and she is actually a threat and jailer to everyone around her just bc they were born different) who is so noble bc she.... believes the beliefs of the organization doing all the bad stuff. But she believes it really genuinely, that she's helping, even when working w the bad organization. And she's pretty, we'll mention that again.
Versus Adrian who's described as pretty never and often described as mousy and irritating. And she wants all the mages to be free but she's like soooo angry and loud and mean. Did you hear how she's too angry? She's soooooo angry, the redheaded fire Mage. So angry. And she's super judgemental. No one's as judgemental as her, even Wynne (a character who's greatest and most consistent flaw is being judgemental) will call her out as being too judgemental. And of course like, maybe she has some points about Mage freedom if she just wasn't so angry about it and obsessed with it. And she's not pretty.
And of course. Both. Are in a love triangle with our main male POV character. In fact he at one point dated Adrian, although it's impossible to tell why, bc he only ever thinks of her in the worst ways possible, so like. What did he like about her? What does he even like about Evangeline other than that he thinks she's hot? No one knows.
Something about it being written slightly more competently makes me like it even less
#dragon age#asunder#dragon age critical#asunder critical#tbh. david gaiders rant about how romance ruins the paths a character can go dowm#(or limits it or whatever)#makes a lot of sense when you read his novels- because his romances are fucking unbelievable#his women are on occasion given a second dimension instead of the one#and he cant even fucking know why two people would like each other#perhaps esp if a woman is involved. he doesnt know what makes women people let alone why one would want one romantically#so he just goes. idk shes hot to him or whatever. instead of presuming that like.#when people of all genders get with women its for as myriad complex and interesting ways as when men get with men. bc women are literally#not that different from men and also exist as full people#so his romances are always like 'idiot local man thinks woman is pretty. that is all. now they are trapped in one of like 3 paths'#like maybe you think romance is limited bc you arent fucking good at it man. you fucking suck at it.#your inventiness when it comes to worldbuilding? great. love some of that stuff.#when theres a woman in the room you sound like a caveman trying to figure out what a plane is#when youre designing her romance you sound like that same caveman trying to build the plane from scratch after figuring out the concept#its sooooooo fucking bad#and you can tell he thinks hes immune to it bc hes gay. you can just. see that he thinks bc he doesnt want to fuck women#he cant possibly be misogynist about them. YOU STILL DONT THINK THEYRE THE SAME AS YOU AND ITS DRIPPING OFF THE PAGE MAN#krogans thoughts
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Religiously i think about one of my twitter mutuals pointing out how aoki's design is subtly asymmetrical while ichiban is more symmetrical
when i think of it, masato's design is fairly symmetrical as well isnt it.....
#snap chats#please no one look at me i shouldve gotten my drink two hours ago#what does it mean .....#i swear my mutual had like. galaxy brain when it came to aoki i swear to god in heaven no one got him like they did#they were also the one that did that glass analysis post i shared some months back#moving on tho...#i guess there is the stipulation that because masato's shirt buttons dont match his shirt like ichi's does the buttons at the top mess it u#but aside from that everything else is pretty even: he has a pair of bangs and while his shirt is patterned its not like. grossly so#the pattern doesnt go particularly one way or the other its obviously just a pattern and the colors arent offensively against each other#on the flipside aoki's hair is more obviously swept to one side and leaving the other side bare#not to mention his tie in general. the 'bulb' part and 'tongue' part even go against each other#as if a diagonal striped tie itself wouldnt be askew to his overall look#again these are very small things to notice but im glad theyre small- it makes sense for a politician's to be subtly incongruent#the glasses are super important to aoki's design too but that's covered int eh glass analysis and isnt about symmetry#idk ... maybe im just waffling on about nothing.. either way i love those posts by my mutual#OH i think of this because i am once again thinking of updating how i draw masato#cause i like the blazer and necklace i gave him BECAUSE of that asymmetry#but now i wonder if thatd go against his design ... so i have to ask 'what underlying message is there for masato to be symmetrical'#i guess- even if he is a creep and a weirdo- he's not. evil? idk ... he hasn't gone totally off the deep end compared to aoki#like compared to what he'd go on to do as aoki he's pretty normal as masato#he is just a guy. who DOES have ties to the yakuza but this aint about that LKCJALKREJVA#he doesnt even like them he just uses them for his convenience 😔#idk. ill prob still draw masato the same tbh LMAO if anything ill just crop his blazer but keep it symmetrical#i guess i cant wonder this TOO much when i give him mismatching rings 💀💀 ill just have fun ig fjaelrvekljv#at the end of the day its never that serious ...... i just gotta draw what makes me chortle. esp for a chara three people care about VJLAEK#but i will wonder ..... <- it is not that deep#ima go bye
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I'm trying to pick a major that I would be the most interested in just because it would make my life so much easier and right now I have like three ideas and they all have a million problems
#like bioengineering. that sounds great right#id make good money with even just a bachelors degree#but i dont want to be stuck with that my whole life. that doesnt sound fun to me and engineering is supposed to be a miserable major#AND MINOR#and its a relatively new field so not a lot of places near me have it. and the places that DO have it are crazy expensive#i want to get a degree in linguistics because thats something that sounds fun to me. i would enjoy that#im good with english and language#but what can i really do with a linguistics degree? and im not good at learning other languages so i couldnt be an interpreter as much as i#would enjoy it#i kind of want to go for theatre tech stuff but. idk there arent really any buts but is that really realistic for me? i stopped doing tech#in freshman year because people were kind of mean. im a quitter and theyre not going to like that and i havent done anything related#in so long so really what are the chances i get accepted for that#how much do techs make anyways? i guess it doesnt have to be THEATRE tech i could do tech for anything#i know people who tech for bands make pretty good money and they have fun#i lied theres four#i could do geology something but thats broad and also the best school for it in the state is UF.#im NOT going to UF. i would rather die. its a personal grudge. also they suck and barely accept anybody even though the school SUCKS AND IT#SO EXPENSIVE FOR NO REASON#i wanted to do marine bio two years ago but theres soooo many problems with that. including ticks#I HATE TICKS#“but joel. isnt it MARINE science? there arent ticks in the ocean” YOURE WRONG. TICKS ARE EVERYWHERE. also marine bio has a lot to do with#marshes and there ARE ticks in marshes. and maritime hammocks where id be spending a lot of time. you would not believe the amount of ticks#ive gotten from my marine bio and environmental management classes. its so many. so many ticks
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I DID MY COMEDY PERFORMANCE TODAY!!! in front of like 200 people!!! and i didnt stutter or forget what to say!!! and people laughed!!!
#i wasnt THE funniest other performances got better reactions but that was largely because the people performing were popular#point is people laughed !! two girls i barely know came up to me after and said i was really good! (thank you nikita and i forgot your name#and according to one of my friends some mullets were making fun of me during my thing and then a popular girl behind them was like#hey stop dont do that#so thats cool#and the girl whos lockers next to mine also complimented my comedy thing after so that was nice#+ one of the other ppl performing who i used ro be super good friends with (years ago) was very engaged and laughing which was nice :-)#we may not be close friends anymore but yk its nice to still get along 👍#also two of my friends also performed and they did well too ‼️ it was very cool#anyway im very proud of myself for being able to perform in front of that many people cos i have literally never done that#the last time i spoke to an audience of more than 30 people was year 4 assembly and that was like 100 ppl max#so yea im very happy lol. especially considering that the past three years weve been doing persuasive speeches instead of comedy#(comedy was introduced this year to try it out instead of persuasive speeches)#and for the past 2 years ive done my speeches to just the teacher and a few friends cos i dont like giving persuasives to the whole class#(which i still feel tbh) but like. i can do comedy and play a character in front of an audience! which is pretty awesome
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Getting together some Malayan flying fox refs and the amount of ai-generated faux-bat slop is incredibly annoying. Why would you generate an image of something you could just look up photos of, poisoning the pot of decent reference images?
#also ai generated images make me feel sick. like not morally- i dont like em to be clear- but like actually kind of physically unwell#which is not what i want when looking at my special little guys#it /is/ interesting to see which bat species are well known or popular enough for this to be an issue though#because pretty much no other bat species that I've seen has had this problem#even well known pretty ones such as honduran whites n stuff#I reckon its a combination of their exceptional size and general doggy-ness meaning they're especially cute or appealing to try n replicate#just my two cents though and i know my perception of which bats are more well known or popular is probably skewed#someone called some bat recs i gave out basic once which hurt my feelings but also i dont think any bat recs can be basic because like#broadly speaking most people range from vaugley liking them in passing but not being able to name any types to outright hating them#but I digress. back to drawing.#not bats
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random but is anyone else into yosurise but in a doomed kind of way. like kind of one sided. like a yosuke is into rise in a puppydog kind of way and rise keeps trying to find a relationship but can’t and finally decides to give yosuke a try because at least he’s a friend and she knows he won’t try to take advantage of her being an idol etc. And yosuke is ECSTATIC and wants to give her the world but in an unsustainable kind of way, a desperate “i don’t deserve her but she’s giving me a chance and i need to do anything i can to keep her happy” kind of way. And rise is so flattered and like yosuke is nice but she can’t match that dedication, no one can or should, but it’s all so one sided and she feels so guilty about that but she doesn’t want to break his heart or be “mean”. all while yosuke is becoming almost self destructive by trying to give her “what she deserves” but it’s an unhealthy level of dedication and it’s honestly hurting both of them
#rambles#p4#not tagging this w the ship lol#before anyone even tries anything neither of them are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in this scenario#just a case of two people who aren’t compatible w each other making a relationship unhealthy#like yosuke lacking in self confidence and thinking he isn’t good enough#and rise trying to be into yosuke as much as he’s into her but you can’t force that!#and also it can be soooo uncomfortable when someone is way more into you than you are into them#in this scenario she doesn’t break up w him bc I mean he’s being so nice. so she’s wondering what’s ‘wrong’ w her#that she doesn’t feel the same way back and can’t force herself to develop those feelings…#btw bc i hate myself this would probably come after rise can’t get over souji no matter what she does or who else she tries to date#she’s a pretty girl so I imagine she would just keep encountering douchebags#and so she decides to give it a try w yosuke bc he’s seen the Real her and still likes her right??#meanwhile because it’s me ofc it’s because souji has feelings for yosuke but can’t bear the thought of ruining their friendship#and so instead he sits off to the side watching his friends drag each other down in a relationship that’s bad for both of them#THIS IS SO MUCH SORRY ITS SLOW AT WORK
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yknow i think ive severely overestimated how much people in college have their shit together
#like i dont have as many classes as some but also all my classes are literature classes so its like. im spending over 12 hours weekly just#reading the assigned books and whatnot and its just reading and reading and more reading#like i enjoyed the stem classes because its the lecture + straightforward studying + some labs w/ assignments that *feel* like you make#progress with each step and can also do pretty quickly#but literature?? i have to spend 10 hours per book at least just to read them not to mention spending the time analyzing and attending#lectures and discussion sections and writing essays and--#in other words maybe i shouldnt have become an english major lol#anyway ive overheard several people say theyve straight up not read the books like. we're two books in and you havent read either???#i thought i was slow because i hadnt finished jane eyre by the 2nd/3rd class on it but some people werent done the class before the midterm#so uh yeah i think ive got my shit way more together#and thats also considering i cant help spending a few hours every day doing dumb self indulgent shit like reading manga/playing games#and scrolling tumblr#i should throw my phone in the ocean fr
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Maybe this is my “I’m from New York so I didn’t choose to live here I was just already here” kicking in but can we actually learn to respect people’s privacy and acknowledge the fact that not everyone who lives in a major city is doing so because they want to be famous or the main character or an influencer or whatnot. I’m so sick of seeing tiktoks go viral that are just plainly stalking or doxxing random people who didn’t ask for attention or fame and are just living their lives. Especially given how many people in NYC are living with a wide variety of mental states, abilities, divergencies, and diversities treating them as a spectacle for your entertainment is deeply dehumanizing. Particularly in the past few years seeing so many content creators move here and gain their fame here it is becoming increasingly frustrating to feel like just existing in my home is not coherent with the burgeoning voyeurism culture that’s growing online. I, nor anyone who lives in a large city, should have to leave their homes every day worrying about the potential of being recorded and ridiculed online for just being a person.
People should be able to live their lives with the right to privacy. This isn’t to say that certain instances of internet activism shouldn’t have happened; for instance the Central Park bird watching incident (google it if you aren’t familiar but a woman was being racist towards a black man bird watching in central Park and his recording on the incident vindicated him). But instances like those are the exception and not the rule and many cases of publishing interpersonal conflicts/interactions is not from good faith activism or even from an activist point at all. Honestly what sparked this for me was that dumb tiktok that blew up of that girl looking for the person who kept writing “monke” on the whiteboard at her gym and the series of videos she made amassed more than 25 million views as she made a very public game out of trying to find the identity of this person. Some of her tactics included staking out at the gym waiting for this person or even asking the employees at the front desk who the person was. Maybe this person didn’t want to be a viral tiktok sensation and just wanted to write something goofy on the whiteboard at their local gym. Instead, this person has millions of strangers online seeking them out using unethical/invasive methods. All over someone who just wanted to write “monke.” Can we not just be a little silly in public without being at risk of it being the next internet sensation? If you live in a busy metropolitan area is it now your responsibility to make yourself as invisible as you can every time you step outside your front door? I genuinely leave for work each day wondering if I’ve maybe picked the wrong outfit, makeup, or maybe there’s an embarrassing stain or issue with my appearance that someone is going to see, record, and share online. I’ve even now seen TikTok’s of people recording through peoples windows commenting on how they’re living in their private lives now as well (the video in question is of a young woman recording a couple dancing through their apartment window). Even the guy who goes around “turning average people into models” initiates these videos by first taking non-consented photos of strangers on the street. Invasion is not flattery as much as people on the internet might like to think it is.
It is deeply unfair to ask human beings to live their lives in an unending panopticon. We should be able to go outside, make a joke, leave a silly note, have a bad day, an embarrassing moment, an emotional outburst, leave the curtains open with the knowledge that these moments belong to ourselves and are not suddenly (and without our consent) just become something for the masses to consume. Small spats that should remain small spats become global debates, a conventionally attractive or unattractive person becomes the internet’s object of desire or disgust. Let people exist. Let them have their dignity.
#I FUCKING HATE TIKTOK CULTURE#This is also hitting a bit close to home for me but I work at a museum and I constantly dress to hide my identity#because of how many cameras are pointed at me all day everyday#and in the year of two thousand and twenty three it’s pretty hard to be a person#so to ask people to be media ready all the time is just impractical and inhumane#we aren’t all public figures but we are now expected to be ready for that level of attention#even certain internet phenomena that came from a good faith place such as recording Karen’s as a way to combat a certain kind of a racism#was co opted by non black people to publicly shame and embarrass any older white woman they don’t like#now the entire concept of a Karen has lost its original meaning while still existing as an open threat to older women who don’t behave#as expected in public#and yes I have seen white teenage boys yelling at women calling them Karen’s for just asking them to stop being rowdy#which is anecdotal evidence so take with a grain of salt#but I am simply EXHAUSTED#apparently I need to live in the mountains if I want to live in peace#also I wrote this in like a 5 minute rage so feel free to DM me or comment if I got something wrong
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