#just a case of two people who aren’t compatible w each other making a relationship unhealthy

[quartzskies]

random but is anyone else into yosurise but in a doomed kind of way. like kind of one sided. like a yosuke is into rise in a puppydog kind of way and rise keeps trying to find a relationship but can’t and finally decides to give yosuke a try because at least he’s a friend and she knows he won’t try to take advantage of her being an idol etc. And yosuke is ECSTATIC and wants to give her the world but in an unsustainable kind of way, a desperate “i don’t deserve her but she’s giving me a chance and i need to do anything i can to keep her happy” kind of way. And rise is so flattered and like yosuke is nice but she can’t match that dedication, no one can or should, but it’s all so one sided and she feels so guilty about that but she doesn’t want to break his heart or be “mean”. all while yosuke is becoming almost self destructive by trying to give her “what she deserves” but it’s an unhealthy level of dedication and it’s honestly hurting both of them

[inkykeiji]

I hope this isn’t a tmi type question but u seem really comfy sharing and I just read ur last ask

but I’m basically here to ask how u have achieved what sounds like such a wonderful sex life w ur boyfriend?

I’ve never been able to find anyone who’s into the same shit as me or found the kinda sex I wanna have, how did u find someone who’s into what u are? Did u both just meet and have complimenting sexual preferences by chance, or did u kinda just trial and error together until u found what u both like?

Bc for me (this might be unrealistic idk) when I meet someone like that I’d want it to be natural, i don’t wanna have to show/teach a guy how to fuck me the way I want, it just takes away a lot of the appeal? Like, I want a guy to do what HE wants and just have that naturally be something that I also love.

I know a lot of people say talking and communicating about ur sexual preferences helps a healthy and good sex life, but that just makes me so uncomfortable and takes away the natural spark of it I feel like.

Thank u in advance! No pressure to answer this if it’s too personal!

hello hello!! <33 beware there is a very LONG answer under the cut hehe <3

i hope you don't mind me answering this publicly!!! <33

AH okay! so, the answer lies in a few things. my boyfriend and i began dating in 9th grade, and we've been together ever since (and we just graduated university together right before covid hit, so that should give u a pretty good idea of just how long we've been together for!) which means we've had a LOT of time to try things out, to explore each other's bodies, to learn what the other likes, etc etc etc. i definitely think that this plays a large role in it, just having spent so much time together and having been together for so long, you know?

for us, we got pretty lucky, because we happened to mostly be into the same kinks. but at the same time, since we're each other's only sex partners and have been having sex since we were teenagers, we got to discover a lot of those kinks together. there are definitely a few we don't share (for example i am definitely more kinky out of the two of us and like, he refuses to do anything with knife play; totally understandable) but for the most part they match up.

I KNOW UR GONNA HATE TO HEAR THIS LMAO but communication does play a very big and important role in it all, especially if you're going to be delving into darker kinks/bdsm, you know? you have a responsibility to properly communicate with your partner what you are and aren't comfortable with, to set hard and soft limits, to come up with a safeword, etc etc etc.

for us, for example, he wasn't quite sure about a daddy kink the first time i brought it up. i never pushed him to do it, but eventually he decided he'd like to give it a try, just to see how it goes, and we agreed that if he wasn't comfortable or into it then it was off the table. like that kind of communication is important within a relationship, you know? i also can't expect him to know exactly what i'm into without vocalizing it to him, right?

we gave it a try, and he learned/discovered it's something he really enjoys!!! so there's a certain level of communication and compromise that's necessary there.

i understand where you're coming from with the whole 'i don't want to have to show/teach him how to fuck me'; that makes sense!!! i can totally see why that would take the appeal away from it, especially if it's during the act itself! usually, for us at least, these conversations happen much earlier than the act itself.

but i think what you're more looking for is someone who's experienced!!! do you know what you're into, or have like a general idea of what you're into? i feel like it's kinda necessary to have this conversation with potential partners in advance, that way they know what you like and what you're cool with etc. (and you know what they like + are cool with) and see how much knowledge they have on your specific kinks and work it all out then and there. i can promise you that, from my experience, this does not in any way take away the spark of anything!!! if anything, it builds anticipation!! and it ensures that the sex itself goes fluidly, fun and safe.

this isn't to say that you're not gonna meet someone who's sexual preferences line up with yours!!!! it's very very possible!!! all of the people i know who have good sex have found partners with preferences that align with their own (but they also did all have those conversations about kinks and limits etc!). i think (and you can totally feel free to correct me if i'm wrong!! this is just how i'm interpreting it!!) what you're more looking for is that intense chemistry and compatibility. and you can have and maintain that intense chemistry and compatibility while also having a conversation and open communication about what you are and aren't into, you know? those things can, and do, coexist!! in my humble opinion, if you're a good match, the natural spark of it all will be there regardless. i've been with my boyfriend for an extremely long time, and we still have that. plus, talking about new things to try in bed is something that always gets us both super excited, and we have a tendency to talk about it after we fuck, too. "how was that? did you like this position? (he improvises positions a LOT lmao) was i too rough?" etc.

waaah i hope this makes sense!!!! i'm obviously not a sex health specialist or professional, and i can only give you my own personal opinion based on my experiences but to sum it up:

any relationship is going to require a bit of trial and error and a lot of trust and communication and honesty. it is more than possible to both experience that feeling of natural and fluid sex AND to discuss your preferences. in my case, we got lucky, because we happened to be into most of the same kinks, but we still did (and do) need to talk about them!!! again, if anything, having those conversations makes the sex BETTER, because it goes smoother with less hiccups!! i hope this helps a little <333

[sakumosowainthirst]

I’m running on 4 hours of sleep and coffee; let’s make a controversial post! Today’s topic: Fates/Awakening ships I hate!  :D

Preface: I’m not hating on anyone who ships these.  I’m also not saying you can’t/shouldn’t ship these.  I’m merely voicing why I dislike them, because I usually keep it all to myself and just feel like screaming into the void today.  So all of this is just my opinion, and you don’t have to take it seriously, okay? C:  Also, I don’t want to have to type “to me” after every opinion, so just take it as implied.

Now then, let’s begin.

Lonliss/Lon’qu-Lissa

Easily my biggest dislike on the list.  I will never, ever, ever understand why this is Owain’s most popular parentage.  Their supports weren’t all that great, and they are just so different from each other in ways that I think they would just clash.  I’ve seen people who ship it say, “He would be so supportive of Owain’s banter!  He would encourage his playfulness!”  And all I can think is, “Are we thinking of the same Lon’qu?  The one who’s stoic, doesn’t talk much, is very serious and grumpy?  That Lon’qu?”  He’s the token tsundere, sure, but I really don’t see him accepting Owain; I actually see the opposite.  I feel like Lissa and Owain’s upbeat personalities would grate on his nerves, to the point he’d find them both unbearably embarrassing.  Lissa and Lon’qu also just have MUCH BETTER ships/supports with other characters, and tbh, they both deserve better.  Lissa and Owain deserve someone who gels with their sunshine energy, and Lon’qu deserves a more reserved partner.  Of all Owain’s dad ships, Lonliss is the only one I truly cannot, “see,” and no explanation has made me able to, “see,” it as they both are in canon, and probably never will, tbh.  Every other Lissa ship, I can find some sort of merit, even if I don’t ship it, but when I look at Lonliss, there is just none.  No chemistry, no commonality, no anything that makes them a good couple.  Not in canon, anyway.  I’ve heard a ton of headcanons for it (I’m an Owain stan and this is quite literally his most popular dad, it’s very common), and fanon is fine and dandy, but when it bends canon too much, it just doesn’t sit well with me, and Lon’qu being any sort of okay with Lissa and Owain just bends canon too much, to me.  They’re too hyper, he’s too reserved.  As a final thought, I’m admittedly not a fan of any ship that takes Lissa and Owain away from Ylisstol, and Lon’qu (along with Donnel) does.  Their ending states they live in Ferox, and I just don’t like that.  I like Owain growing up alongside Lucina.  Also, Cynthia and probably Morgan would be in Ylisstol, and Owain canon has the Justice Cabal with them in his youth, so that’s kind of contradictory if he’s born and raised in Ferox.  (I also personally headcanon both Lissa and Owain hating the cold, tbh.  Odin has a line about hating the cold in Anna’s DLC in Fates, and I think Lissa mentions hating snow at some point, too, though I could be wrong.)

Owainigo/Laslodin/Owain-Brady

Grouping these together because I’m equally meh on both.  I can definitely see them, but I don’t like them.  Owain and Inigo do become bros, but I kind of feel like they would still squabble like petty children like their Awakening supports.  It’s more in a brotherly way, though; they start off teasing each other and end up in a slap-hands fight.  I like them as a friendship, just not a romantic ship.

Owain/Brady I have more trouble seeing because their only commonality is their mothers, and their supports make them seem like casual friends at best.  I feel like their mothers is a big part of why they’re shipped, tbh, which is just kind of :T for me.  I can see them if I squint, but it’s not a ship I care for.

The saddest thing is, look up anything spicy for Owain, you’re going to find one of these two in it.  Either these two or...

Odiniles/Leodin/Leotrio Threesome

Oh boy, here we go, SakuMo disliking another popular pairing(s).  Odin and Niles canonically bicker.  Like, they are nasty to each other.  Odin says as much in their A rank.  He says they should try to get along more, but I’m not really sure how well that would turn out.  To be honest, the only thing they really have in common is their loyalty to Leo.  Lacking that, they’re two wildly different people.  I’m not saying that different people can’t work as a couple--it happens all the time--but if you lack at least some common ground, it makes it really hard for a relationship to work.  Devotion to your master isn’t really much common ground.  Given their canon history, dramatically different personalities, and lack of common interests, I just don’t see them being compatible.  Every Odiniles fic I’ve ever read had Niles uncharacteristically understanding of Odin, to the point it didn’t even feel like Niles at all/he was very OOC.  One again, fanon is fine--you do you!--but bending canon too much and/or in ways that don’t make sense to the character is just not my scene.

Leodin is one that I can kind of see, definitely more than Odiniles, which in no way works in my head, but I’m just not a fan of it, generally.  My dislike isn’t as strong as with Odiniles, but it’s still there.  And I’ll just say that I am not into poly, don’t like OT3s, threesomes, etc., so that should sum up my feelings on the Leotrio as an OT3.

Odilise, Lazura, Selbaki, a.k.a. “The Oedipus Complex Ships”

Don’t make the Trio marry their moms, fam.  Odilise is the most egregious one, tbh, because Elise is so much like Lissa and it’s so, so creepy to ship her with Odin.  Never mind that canon Elise is supposed to be like...14-15 (I reject this canon and substitute my own hc of 18, but I digress), and though we don’t know how long the Trio is in Nohr before the start of Fates, we can assume anywhere from six months to a year or two considering they are well-established as retainers, so Odin is probably in his early 20s, at youngest maybe 20-21.  (Granted, using the canon ages makes a lot of ships suspect, especially with the younger characters, but I digress.)  I get that Elise is a good stat mom for Ophelia and gives the “canon” hair, but the ship itself is just problematic on a lot of fronts.  She’s basically his mom, their supports are playful but it def feels brotherly-sisterly (granted most of Elise’s supports do) and throws in the romance literally out of left field in the S rank, and they just look kind of suspect together, fam.  I have unfortunately in my travels across the internet for Owain content seen Odin/Elise porn, and the fact it makes me uncomfortable in a, “this looks really illegal,” way speaks volumes.  And again, yes, I know the same would be true for other ships with Elise, and it’s why there are few I actually like with her.  But Odin/Elise just in particular bothers me because like Lonliss, I see it the most, and it’s made me irrationally bitter toward it.  This one and Lonliss are my two, “hair-trigger rage,” ships.  I see either, I get really annoyed.  I don’t voice this, mind--I keep on scrolling and ignore the content--but it does make me grumpy, lol.  They’re the two I can honestly say I hate instead of just saying I dislike.

Selbaki is a bit lesser, but it basically makes Severa her own grandma, don’t do that. xD  Severa already has a complex with trying to be perfect like her mom, so making her feel the same not only for her husband but also her daughter is just cruel to her.  Give Severa a break, y’all.

Lazura is the least similar, admittedly, but it’s still in the same vein.  Performer marrying a performer.  Of the three, I can tolerate it the most, but it’s still not great for me.

Corrin/Any sibling, including Azura

Look, I get it.  Corrin is, by technicality, not blood-related to any of them, with the exception of Azura, who is their blood-related cousin.  H O W E V E R, just because they find out that they aren’t blood-related to the Nohr siblings doesn’t mean the familial bonds just go POOF.  The Nohr siblings would definitely not be like, “I guess we can bang Corrin now.”  If this were the case, adopted families would never “truly” bond because they aren’t related by blood.  Corrin growing up in Nohr means that they would most likely always see the Nohr siblings as family, and vice-versa.

Hoshido, on the other hand, is a bit trickier.  While it’s true they aren’t blood-related, I want to say Ryoma is the only one who knows?  Like, I think he’s the only one who brings it up in the S Support?  But lacking that, Corrin and the rest of the Hoshido siblings do think they’re blood-related.  Hidden Truths states that Corrin never learned the truth about their real father, nor that Lilith is their sister.  All 3 routes play out with the assumption that Sumeragi was Corrin’s father, and if it’s stated otherwise, it’s maybe only in the beginning as a throwaway line during the Mikoto section.  You could make a plausible argument that the Trio could tell Corrin the truth, since all 3 of them have heart-rank lines where they reveal their real names and that they���re from another world, but that’s leading into possible canon rather than actual canon (and is also why I hc it).  But for all intents and purposes, Corrin thinks they are blood-siblings with the Hoshido fam, so that would make them less likely to pursue them romantically.  And even if they knew, they still all all each other brother/sister.

Azurrin is the trickiest.  It’s only in Revelation that the connection between Arete, Azura’s mother, and Mikoto, Corrin’s mother, is made, afaicr, so in Birthright and Conquest, Corrin technically wouldn’t know they are cousins.  However, Azura would.  Azura always knew everything, because her mother told her about Valla and taught her the traditional song and such.  She most likely knew Mikoto was her aunt.  Even on the off chance she didn’t know, it would still be an awkward down the line thing when they find out they’re cousins.  I know Japan is more lenient on the whole cousin-marriage thing, but...don’t have Shigure and Kana coming out looking like the Habsburgs, please, I beg you, lol.

My rule of thumb: if two characters refer to each other as, “brother,” or, “sister,” at any point, don’t let them fuck.  xD

Kana/Any Romantic/Sexual Ship

Kana is a child.  Stop it.  Stop it right now.  They are a baby.  I’VE SEEN FICS, I KNOW IT EXISTS, YOU SICK FUCKS.  Even aged up feels a little awkward, but I can be a little bit more lenient on that.  I just never will.  Kana is asexual and aromantic in my eyes, lol.

That’s all I can really think of right now; coffee is wearing off, I need a nap, lol.  Once again, please don’t be offended if I dislike a ship you like!  We are all different!  I just wanted to throw this out there on the off chance I do requests again and someone wants one of these written, because I would respectfully decline.  I don’t mean these to be hateful, just sort of venting into the ether in a mildly-exhausted stupor.

Also, you can try to counter me on some of these, but tbh, a few of them, I am stubbornly never going to change my mind, so we’d just go round and round in a circular argument if you tried.  xD  I like what I like and don’t like what I don’t, lol.  I’m not typically a multi-shipper, either, so you’d probably be hard-pressed to get me to shift at all, lol.  I mean that in the most loving way possible, too.

[transamorousnetwork]

A Normal Man’s Guide To Loving Transgender Women

I love transgender women. Because I am out and proud about this, I get emails and calls from all kinds of people (men, women, transgender women, trans men) asking all kinds of questions about their transamory.

Men have the most trouble finding reconciliation. They find transgender women beautiful, worthy of love and, frankly, irresistible. Even while realizing dating transgender women sometimes comes with extraordinary drama levels. Despite that, many of these men aren't struggling with that. What's difficult is reconciling their attraction with being a "normal" man.

I'm writing this story –– my story –– for those men. The following is universal. Yet it is uniquely helpful for men right now. I mean "normal" men.

I write "right now" because men face intense (self-inflicted) scrutiny. Scrutiny well deserved. This January, the American Psychological Association (APA), said traditional masculinity is sociologically harmful:

"[It] stunts male's "psychological development, constrain[s] their behavior, result[s] in gender role strain and gender role conflict and negatively influence[s] mental health and physical health", they said.

Traditional masculinity is what I call normal men.

^^Click here for more info

Feminism suggests the APA's findings originate in male awe, envy and ignorance. Feminists call this Womb Envy.  That's a term coined by German psychoanalyst Karen Horney.  Normal men find awe in what they instinctively know: Every human enters life through a womb connected to a vagina. At least for now.Forgetting their part in life-creation, normal men feel insecure and envious. Their envy becomes all-consuming. Willful ignorance replaces envy, allowing the subordination of women. Normal men gain superiority this way.

The result: Masculine wholeness –– which recognizes the female in the male ––  gets lost.

This is what I'm seeing in the Gillette controversy. Men's life experience is reflecting back to them their out-of-balance-ness. Like children, some men are reacting first to Gillette's spot-on ad, then thinking. Or not thinking at all.

What does this have to do with loving transgender women?

A lot.

It is this acting out first, then thinking, or not thinking at all, that gets a lot of men in trouble. It also gets many transgender women killed. All, believe it or not, for the sake of love.

· · ·

I realized I was transamorous in my 30s. Before that, I saw "masculinity" and "femininity" as two parts of a whole being. Sometimes I felt more feminine than masculine back then. Even though I was having sex with girls.

Sometimes I would sneak into my mom's closet. It was an endless sea of femininity. There, I would dress in my mom's clothes. I used her lipstick and pranced before her full length mirror, with its ornate wooden frame and chipped paint. Her lingerie particularly intrigued me.

Often these sessions would end with masturbation.

That's how I got busted.

^^My mom when I was young (Photo: Gruber family)

One day my mom called me to her room. How did she know it was me and not one of my brothers? Let's just say it was mothers' intuition. Otherwise I don't know. In any case, my mom's love trumped anything else in our little chat. She didn't want me playing in her clothes, she said. But it was ok that I was exploring.

That could have gone a lot worse.

This was before "transgender" was a thing. I mean, it was a thing. Transgender people have always been around. But it wasn't in the public eye as it is today with high-profile transgender models, actresses, politicians, Julia Serranos, Stef Sanjati's.

Even it if was, I was too young to know what "transgender" was. Thinking about that time, and times today, I can imagine how it feels to be transgender. Not knowing you are transgender. Then discover the word "transgender" for the first time.

It must come with profound relief to know you're not alone.

The same is true for men attracted to transgender women. They think they're alone. But they are not.

When I discovered my transamory, "transamory" wasn't a thing either. I didn't know, for example Lou Reed had a long term relationship with a transgender woman. But I sure loved his song.

Nor did David Bowie's gender-bending persona catch my eye.

So when I fell in love with the first transgender woman I ever saw, in a Yakuza bar in Osaka, Japan, I was blown away. Blown away by her beauty. Blown away by the circumstances. And blown away for how deep and instantaneous my attraction was.

I was in the Marines at the time. My girlfriend, who would become one of my few fiancés took me to see her home town. She thought I'd get a kick visiting a Yakuza bar. I don't think she knew how profound that kick would be. It kicked off what would culminate in everything I am today. That and how I tell my transamory story with recovering "normal" transamorous men looking for solace.

My wife today calls me her gay boy. It's true, my feminine side is well-developed. I don't cross dress or anything like that. I do enjoy reveling in that part of me that is soft, kind, receptive and open. And yet, I do present male, although I consider myself gender neutral. I recognize the female in me as much as I do the male.

And here's where love comes into the picture. And by that I'm referring to self-love.

^^Photo: Bima Mentara on Unsplash

Many of my fellow Marines weren't as appreciative of my nature as my wife is. Or my mom. It wasn't constant, but Marines can be callous towards someone not embracing the macho, natural-born-killer persona believed to enshroud what it is to be a Marine. Of course, the occasional taunts ended once I became a Sergeant of Marines. Yet, the juxtaposition between my feminine side and my masculine side represented a crossroads back then. The path I took was embracing both. Choosing to be me, I said to hell with everyone else. After all, if I could take shit from Marines, I could take shit from anybody.

^^That’s me. Around 1982

In other words, I chose loving myself for all that I am. I chose that over caring what other people think about what I am. An aspect of what I am is a man who loves transgender women.

As I love myself, I love the blend that is the transgender female form. I love the struggle transgender women must go through. I love their strength. I love that they are sometimes reviled not only by men, women and society, but also by their parents sometimes. I love them because I know all these challenges make them who they are.

As my challenges made me who I am.

Today, I am married to a cis-woman who is working through her own process owning her lesbianism. Ours is a marriage of convenience. By that I mean, there is no better relationship for us than the one we have. It calls us to become more of that which we are. As individuals and as a couple. It has an end date because I'm transamorous and she leans gay. But for now, it works.

· · ·

I met my wife online. I hadn't been successful dating transgender women. I had relationships. but the early ones reflected my own trans-attraction insecurities. My insecurity showed up in meeting transgender women who also were insecure. Insecurity is no foundation for healthy coupledom. It didn't help that I dated in secret. In between cis-gender lovers.

Maybe that sounds familiar.

^^Me and my wife on our first date. (Photo Kyle Layser)

Insecurity transamorous men feel initially shows up in many ways. One is fear of being seen in public with the woman they find attractive. It's an early "trans-attraction" stage of transamory. It sounds dumb, but it's real. And it's a step older transamorous men go through more than younger ones these days. Some younger generation transamorous men reflect their generation. Their generation accepts gender fluidity. So they do too. So they don't experience insecurity.

Pro-tip non-sequitur for transgender women: Ridiculing and shaming men for being in this stage prolongs it. Want men to be proud to be with you in public? Stop shaming them.

When I met my wife, I was not intending to marry. I was open to a non-traditional relationship. Anyone I found attractive and compatible would do. Yet I entertained preference for a transgender partner. I knew, however, my insecurity wasn't going to match me with a transgender partner of my dreams.

My wife was determined to break her streak meeting men who were not good for her. Like me, she realized she was her problem. Not the men she dated. So we were a perfect match.

Relationships are always like that. Perfect matches.

Our marriage is a training ground. In it we are helping prepare one another for partners we eventually will have. It is our agreement. Our latest indicator our relationship is working is how we came to having an open relationship without any stress, struggle or pain.

As we together grow into our individual security, we are accepting who each other is. Our marriage reflects that. It has grown more peaceful and loving. And in that loving there is acceptance and freedom. Including freedom to explore my transamory should I choose.

If you're trans-attracted or transamorous, married or not, you can't love the object of your affection until you first love yourself. Especially if you're married. A lot of transamorous men are married to cis-gender women. There is nothing wrong in that.

Still, if you are married, your wife knows on some level that you are different. I assure you fights between you two have a lot to do with insecurity born of that awareness.

Hardness creates more struggle. So does insecurity. Extreme cases result in death. Almost half the murders of transgender women in 2017 happen in the context of intimate relationships gone awry, according to research I've done online. Seems to me the sooner you embrace who you are, the better you and everyone else will be. You'll be one less transamorous man hiding in their shame. That can prevent a murder.

^^It's time more transamorous men embrace all of who they are. (Photo: Ozan Safak on Unsplash)

Men loving transgender women is normal.

Love between humans is the norm. So it is normal that a human would express love for another human. Both men and transgender women are human. So love between them is as normal as any other love.

But I would argue there is no such thing as a "normal" man.

There are all kinds of men. The Gillette controversy shows that. If you're trying to be a normal man and think that's ok, you're not expressing your authenticity. You're expressing insecurity. Your "abnormality" is the norm. Your "perversity" is the norm. Your "sin" is the norm. Abnormality, perversity and sin are words reflecting societal judgment.

Fuck that.

Your individuality is the norm. That means there's no such thing as a normal or traditional man.

Transgender people are here to help all humanity to come to grips with the fact that to be human is to be different. There are a lot of normal men out there confronting their normalcy in light of their transamory. Some respond violently, with tragic consequences for both victim and perpetrator. Others call me, or send an email.

If you find transgender women attractive, you're in good company. All men will find the attractive ones attractive. Until they discover that attractive woman is transgender. But that doesn't negate their initial attraction. It only masks the attraction with shame expressed as revulsion. You're still attracted to her.

If you find transgender women worth loving, but struggle with it, that's ok. You don't have to figure it all out now. You will in time. My experience is, the journey is worth it. For you, for your relationships and for the human race as a whole.

The journey is sweeter, though, after you accept what you are.

[qvet]

so my favorite way to deal with someone that I am frustrated with is to basically unpack it all with someone I know/trust that will listen and also possibly add more fuel to the fire.  petty, I know, but doing so is truly cathartic for me and then after that I can almost always face aforementioned frustrating person more easily, or at least without EXPLODING.  I usually feel pretty safe about doing this but this time it’s my housemates that I want to complain about.  I feel like talking to someone who knows all of us might be helpful, but at the same time I’m always worried my shit talking will go back to them, and it’d be ESPECIALLY bad if it’s with people I live with.  so, human journal, I’m gonna complain here.

((also, I know that these pale in comparison to other roommate horror stories and that I am pretty lucky comparatively but…….I want to complain ok)

so to begin with I knew I was the “third wheel” of the house, as in the other two housemates are best friends and I am more secondary which is totally fine.  sometimes I feel a little sad because they click more with each other than I ever will click with either of them but that’s fine because I honestly don’t consider them my very favorite/best friends here, and that’s ok.  just made me feel a little sad at first.  things that they really enjoy like online shopping, makeup, Taylor Swift, I just can’t put my heart into and that is 100% fine for them to like!!!  I just can’t/don’t participate and feel really different from them is all.  anyways.  not a big deal.  then the stuff became bigger, like the “oh just gonna skip class” mentality that they both have from time to time.  which……I never understood because…..if you are mentally and physically able to go our parents are paying SO much money for this + literally what better things do we have to do than going to class????????  but again, minor.  extremely minor.

but then……….I started feeling some things were off.  with one housemate, she’s not even home half of the time because she’s at her boyfriend’s house ~30-40 minutes away (which I think takes away from her experience at college here but w/e it’s not my business and she seems happy) but other times he comes here.  he’s usually not a big problem but again, when he’s here she only spends time with him.  my only legit gripe with him is that when he’s here in the morning he takes a shower before leaving which…………I mean, ok, I get that you have to go to work but………..I have class to go to and I LIVE here?????????  could you please wake up earlier if you are going to do this????????  in my home??????  I expected to share the bathroom with two people, not three.  anyways, then for the housemate herself, she’s a perfectly nice person, but I have realized that our senses of humor are not on the same wavelength and I feel like I really have to put on an act for her to really click with me at all (not her fault, mine, but still something that bothers me).  my legit gripe with her is how passive aggressive she is with like asking us to clean stuff around the house…..like she’ll say something kind of serious and then after I say “oh ok sure I’ll do it tonight” or whatnot she’ll talk in this babyish kind of voice as if we were trying to confront her about something??????  I don’t know how to describe it but it makes me uncomfortable.  also, ok, not her fault, but she is from a pretty well off family and she is obsessive about like nickle-and-diming everything which I don’t know…..also annoys me?  like it always has to be EXACT with tax included which is like…..ok….that’s valid to a degree but you’re getting ONE DOLLAR more ????!?!!!!  whatever.  I think I’m just annoyed at how she just talks in a babyish way to us as if she is trying to avoid conflict when she asks us about things like mopping the floor?????  I don’t think I’m articulating this right but something about her demeanor is off-putting.  we’re also a part of this club together and she often puts her boyfriend/staying in bed over going to social interactions with the club which I mean is fine, it’s her choice, but it makes me kind of sad that she doesn’t really spend a lot of time with anyone other than him????  I don’t know anyways I’m not really super annoyed with her in particular.  usually I just need an hour break from her and we’re good again

it is the other one that I am kind of more fed up with……so first of all, they’re both kind of flaky about going to things, which is a HUGE pet peeve of mine because like…….how HARD is it to just DO something that you said you were going to do……..I mean ok if you’re sick sure, but like if you have a midterm two days later and we made the plan a week ago and agreed to it……you FUCKIN KNEW that it was going to happen so don’t cancel on me because you’re irresponsible!!!!! own up to your mistake!!!!!  whatever, anyways she just flakes out/cancels on plans all the time, almost always because of an academic thing she forgot about or LITERALLY just because she is tired…..and same thing with her and not going to social events for the club we’re in together.  I don’t know, I feel like it sends the message that her time/herself is more important than an agreement she made with someone.  like in the first two months of living with her she cancelled on me FIVE times.  and what makes it worse is that she does it so flippantly like…..I said “oh, yea, we have our dinner with friend x tonight!!” and she said “oh, yeah, that’s not happening” really casually in favor of staying in bed and I don’t know it really made me upset.  she also takes twenty minutes to shower which doesn’t sound like a lot but when you share a bathroom with others in the morning it is a TIME CRUNCH !!!!!!  two more things: one, the people that live above us used to have pretty frequent parties, and yeah, they were kind of loud but I at least never thought they were egregious (i.e. I could fall asleep).  this housemate is a pretty light sleeper so for the first few weeks of school when they were having parties she’d be like “can we call the cops” and I’d always be like “oh um I mean I’m ok with the noise for now but if you want to call them you can” just because I wanted to have a good relationship with the upstairs people just in case but I wasn’t super super opposed to filing a complaint.  but anyways this went on and on and she’d always ask ME to do it and I was like YOU ARE THE ONE that wants to call them, YOU be a big girl and do it.  eventually she got my other housemate + her boyfriend to call one night, which I was fine with, and I thought the ordeal was over.  but then one day on her birthday when we had a couple of friends over we were talking about it and in front of everyone she accuses me of not letting her call them!!!!!!!!!  like!!!!!! bitch!!!!!!! I fucking TOLD YOU YOU COULD I JUST WAS NOT GOING TO DO IT FOR YOU!!!!!!  AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN DO IT IN THE END!!!!!!!!!  I was just so annoyed that she would tell such a blatant lie in front of people/embarrass me in front of close friends.  but the latest thing that got to me was related to her light sleeping habit.  so basically I had a few of my favorite friends from college over at TEN on a Saturday night (tonight)…there were six of us total and we were pretty much just staying in my room, door closed, just snacks, no drinks.  anyways…..at ten thirty she says were are being TOO loud, she is trying to sleep, and ASKS US IF WE CAN GO TO SOMEONE ELSE’S HOUSE.  this just bothered me on SO many levels……..first of all, ?????  am I not allowed to have…..my friends over…..on a Saturday night after 9pm??????  then……you want me to….invite myself over at someone else’s house?????  I took a deep ass breath and just said we’d try to keep it down ((((I didn’t think we were really loud but reasoned ok we were watching videos on my projector and maybe we were laughing too loud, whatever, we’ll just talk)))) so we just talked.  we were just talking…..the six of us……and then at eleven thirty she comes into my room, pulls me aside, and basically tells me to kick them out and ask someone to host us.  but because I am just a people pleaser/weenie I just said yes to get her out of the way and told my friends.  my one source of validation was that one of them, my favorite friend in college, said that it wasn’t cool of her to do that to me since I lived here and it was before midnight on a Saturday which made me think……um yeah?????  and I was happy for the validation but I didn’t know what to do about it.  anyways I just told him I’d address in the morning even though I have no idea what I’d say to her and know I’m not going to say anything to her.  it just annoys me because she said she wanted to go to sleep because she had a “really late night” yesterday (read: she went out drinking) and I wanted to ask WHOSE FAULT THAT WAS and that basically she has a monopoly on all my nights here by just going to sleep and using her light sleeper excuse.  god.  I don’t hate her or anything I’m just very annoyed.  I think I’m just sad because I’m realizing our personalities aren’t as naturally compatible for friendship/I have to put on an act for both of them for things to run smoothly between us and all plus I am growing annoyed at their small quirks. 

I know I should probably just like tell them that I’m annoyed about these things but I don’t know how to do confrontation in non-professional/academic settings so I’m just going to have to SUFFER !!!!!!!!!  thanks for being here though, tumblr, I do feel at least a little better.

edit: I remembered something else about the first housemate!!!  like three weeks ago our wifi went out randomly and I was trying to communicate with her via text about it since she was at her boyfriend’s house.  I understand that it’s stressful to deal with but she was very evasive about doing anything and said “sorry I don’t have a lot of time to deal with this I have 2 midterms this week” which I mean is somewhat warranted but she didn’t ask/take into consideration me who also had two midterms that week????  like, we’re in college, we’re all having midterms.  but the other housemate was like ahhhh technology can’t do this sorry!!! (she is fairly inept with electronics) so I just sucked it up and called customer service/dealt with mailing it back to get a new one because I knew it’d just resolve it faster.  I wish I spoke up for myself more but just think it’s better to avoid conflict and do what I have to do to just resolve things faster.  but now I feel this way lmao so maybe not Update: LMAO I was such a drama queen about this what tf the fuck ????!!! .

[millennialgenderabolitionist]

Just wanted to tell you that your reblog of the post about the queer Muslim woman was very offensive to me as a gay brown woman raised in a Muslim household. You can despite all religions, but that doesn't excuse u from islamaphobia, ok? The ppl in the comments of that post were just bashing on that gay woman--some were conservatives and homophobes--how can u support that shit? Obv conservative Muslim countries suck for their shitty policies, but let's address that instead of berating (part 1)

(P2) berating Muslim women who dare to try to make their faith more progressive and inclusive. You know some of these women would probably be killed for expressing that in their home countries. And u mock that? And say u care for gay women? Hate religions sure, but some personality types will always b drawn to spirituality n religion–it’s more practical to try making religion more progressive than shunning it altogether–humans take comfort from religion, esp if they’re poor/in war torn areas.

I just can’t follow u anymore knowing u would reblog something like that. So many radical feminists say they care about females and female issues. But ur just like conservative white men who use our stories of our suffering and oppression to justify bombing our countries to hell and perpetuating the savage brown man stereotype. I’m disillusioned w radfems it’s just racist whites who in the end don’t truly care about us at all. Esp if ur not going to support us trying to better our communities.

Obviously they were homophobes, that’s the point of ex-muslims, atheists and agnostics reblogging that post. To show how people who really believe 100% in this religion are homophobes, just like people who believe 100% in the Bible are homophobes. I’ve read the Qu’ran i know what’s in there. This was there to comment on the post “When you’re a regressive leftist and you find out the group you pander to the most actually hates you and doesn’t agree with you” and obviously that is the explanation of why i reblogged it and don’t regret it for a second. The girl in this post is a fictional character by the way. I’m not going to be sorry for a religion that puts a rapist, pedophile, murderer, slaver, all awful person called mohamed on a frickin’ pedestal. Of course i know that lesbians (and bi women in gay relationships) can be killed for their love, again that’s whole point of this post existing. The fact that some people are drawn toward religions won’t make the religions and most of their followers untouchable from critics. If bigots from every damn religions would stop being shitty human beings solely because of the rules they follow from their “holy” books then we’d not be so angry about those imaginary friends for adults. I think i know who you are (@wyxm, if i guessed it right), it’s ok that you don’t follow my blog anymore, because i’m not here to censor myself, i care about all women and yeah muslim women too- but i won’t tell them that islam is good and open-minded of gay women and gay men, it’s simply isn’t. When the majority of countries that are considered “muslim countries” will open their minds and hearts to the existence of things that aren’t islam, things that are progressives, when they will get out of their obscurantism, then we’ll be able to say “hey the situation is fine now! we are safe!”

If you thought that radical feminism was not religions-critical then you’ve missed that part, Mary Daly is the one we reference the most when it comes to criticize christianity for example. We critic all religions as institutions, it has always been the case and we won’t shut up any soon, faith is something else, personal, the mechanism that you describe as “some personality types will always be drawn to spirituality (…) humans take comfort from religion, esp if they’re poor/in war torn areas” and there’s nothing wrong with that, because it isn’t linked to religions as institutions. If you think that radfems are “all racist whites who in the end don’t truly care about us at all” you’re not following enough woc here. I saw the post you’re talking about on a blog from a arab woman who’s a radfem, living in a muslim household. i reblogged from the source because i had reblogged from this brown radfem a lot lately and i didn’t want her to think i’m reblogging too much from her ^-^ Call me islamophobic all you want but also call me a cathophobic, and religiophobic, thank you. In my country the christians have been organizing marches and hate groups against us gay people, in my country islam is gnawing fraternity, liberty, open-mindness, creating toxic situations in certain spaces like schools and bars, i’m not going to stand still and watch without pointing a finger and denouncing this hell. Radical feminism is about challenging the sexist statue-quo, wherever it is. It’s not easy to find out that something is wrong with something we like, or are used to, and when such a thing happen then the solution is to get rid of the cognitive dissonance (believing in two opposite concepts that aren’t compatible with each other) by acknowledging the problem. You chose islam, you chose cognitive dissonance, that’s your conscious decision.

[redrobin-detective]

Not trying to get into the shipping war but I didn't get into Avatar TLA fandom until post S2 and it had never occured to me to ship Katara/Zuko. They were enemies who fought over Aang. They had the worst relationship w/each other until post TSR ep (which for a number of reasons I thought was the most anti romantic Zuko/Katara ep that also pushed why Aang was more compatible). I personally find their platonic dynamic, be it as enemies or friends, much more fascinating/better for each other.

(Just want to take a moment to say thank you anon, I’ve been looking for an opportunity to rant about Zutara when I see this in my ask. Thank you for giving me the chance to rant about something that’s bothered me for 10 years)

People are allowed to ship what they want, I can’t stop them and I generally don’t care but Zutara has bugged me since I decided to watch ATLA (the Day of Black Sun was the first live episode I watched). If you like Zutara, go ahead and please enjoy it. I strongly dislike it and I’m going to explain why. If you don’t want to see it, don’t read under the cut. I will be discussing why I dislike Zutara and why I support Maiko and Kataang (with caveats).

I think Zutara was the first, really big ship I encountered in fandom. I was blown away by how mean and intense some people were into shipping fictional characters (still am tbh). This is also probably the first real time I was exposed to the ‘Opposites Attract’ trope of shipping which. I. Utterly. Despise. Everyone was all 'oh fire and water, opposites coming together in love uwu’ and I’m like ??? Even 13 year old me who’s terrible with people and was still icked out by the idea of guys knew that opposites attract is a complete fallacy in a relationship.

People don’t fall in love with their opposite! Or maybe they feel strong attraction but to have a stable, respectful relationship you simply can’t work with someone who you can’t find common ground with. Now I know this isn’t completely true even as I type this, there are exceptions to everything but in most cases, opposites don’t work for romance. Let’s also kill the 'Oh these people hate each other, it must be sexual tension’ trope while we’re at it. Sometimes you just gotta let people hate each other.

You may argue that Katara and Zuko aren’t complete opposites and I would agree, they actually have a decent amount in common. The main problem I see with them is their complimentary traits don’t suit each other and as a couple they wouldn’t achieve a healthy, happy relationship.

- Both Katara and Zuko have unresolved anger relating to their childhoods and respective traumas. We see in TSR that Zuko is trying to reach out to her by feeding her anger and Katara very nearly does something she would have regretted later, something opposed to her basic traits while Zuko is having his father’s teaching on hatred and revenge justified to an extent. This is not a healthy thing.

- Both Katara and Zuko are compassionate and protective almost to the point of jealousy and rage. Again, that sort of personality wouldn’t promote respect but become confining. Zuko has shown that he struggles with romantic jealousy (though most of that incident was born out self-hatred, it’s still there just better controlled) and Katara has a desire to mother and protect. Those two instinct would war with each and make the relationship troubled from the start.

- Both Katara and Zuko are fiercely loyal to their people. I have never been more confused than I was by a text post saying Zutara should have been endgame because Katara “wouldn’t have had her cultural identity erased to become Aang’s baby momma” like??? Aang, for all his faults, loved Katara as she was and she maintained her Water Tribe roots even as his wife. If Katara married Zuko, she’d have been Fire Lady, loyal to the Fire Nation first and forced to live in a Palace. Katara would HATE that level of confinement and while she mightbe better with the Fire Nation now, I doubt she’d be totally cool spending the restof her life amongst the people who murdered her Mother.

Not tomention the whole animosity they had literally throughout the entire series. Ofcourse, Zuko proved himself in TSR but I don’t think Katara really accepted himuntil Sozin’s Comet. And before you cry your tears about how Zuko saved Katarafrom Azula’s lightening, I’m 100% certain given Zuko’s character that he wouldhave done that for anyone. Azula knows her brother is softhearted and we’veseen Zuko protect literal strangers when he didn’t need to. That could havebeen Old Man Li and Azula would have shot that lightening and Zuko would havethrown his stupid ass in the way.

I can see Katara and Zuko growing to begood, close friends. Because we all have those friends that we care and rely onbecause they’re different from us,think differently and bring something unique. Zuko probably relied on Katarafor counsel, advice on how to be a kind but strong ruler while Katara wouldseek him out on political manners and how best to handle Aang. Zuko is a partof the Gaang, now and forever more, he and Katara are the mature ones of thegroup, there to bring order and peace and pave the way for the new world. Butas a romantic couple, they’re simply not complementary in personality andlifestyle to have a truly happy relationship.

Whichbrings me, briefly I promise, to the relationships the two characters are in:Maiko and Kataang. I love Maiko, it’s my favorite of the ATLA ships (aside fromSokki) because I feel they do work and complement each other. I’ll start by gettingthis right out of the way; yes it’s kind of ridiculous that Mai and Zuko hadthat cute lil kiddie crush and then, 5 minutes after Zuko’s back in the FireLord’s favor, Mai makes a move. I’d have preferred if they showed more build-upto the relationship but I guess there wasn’t enough time. But I don’t get allthese accusations of Maiko being abusive. Becauselet me tell you, just because someone messes up in a relationship, makes amistake for the right reasons, that does not mean they’re abusive.

To me, Maiand Zuko are products of the same environment: emotionally stunting/abusive,rigid, accepting nothing less than perfection but they handled it differently.Zuko chose to become angry and emotional over his circumstances (I thinkbecause it’s the only way he could fuel his bending) and Mai chose to bury herfeelings. Healthy? No, Realistic? Yes. Mai liked Zuko because he was genuinelynice guy, he was expressive and open when no one else around her was andencouraged her to be more open. Zuko liked Mai because she was cool and calmbut also a bit nurturing when he needed someone to soothe his flames.

Twodamaged kids helping to repair each other’s faults, what’s better than that?Mai makes mistakes with Zuko, she doesn’t know how to handle his troubles in the Fire Nation and, frankly, she couldn’t. Zuko needed that time to self-reflect and understand that what was happening was wrong. Zuko likewise behaved badly in a few episodes when his anger and self-hatred were making him explode. They both worked through this to improve like, gee, a normal healthy relationship.

Plus Mai would make a good Fire Lady. The Fire Nation needed stability afterthe war and Mai was nothing if not stable. She comes from a good, noble family(to soothe traditionalists) and she’s experienced in keeping firebenderscontrolled (for those worried about Zuko’s youth) and experienced in the waysof the world like Zuko so he can bounce ideas off of her and have her give backa more well-rounded perspective. It’s not perfect but when the series endedthey were 16/15, they have time to learn and grow together. (also I’m ignoringthe comics after The Promise because everything after has sucked)

Kataang I’ma lot less invested in but I can still understand it. Like Zuko and Mai, Aangand Katara have a lot in common and provide a good balance for one another.They really bring out the best in each other, Aang’s encouragements and naturalcheer brighten Katara’s inner sadness/anger and Katara gives Aang a sense oflove and purpose while also gently nudging him the way he needs to go. Peoplecomplain that Kataang was pushed from the start and it was, but man if Aangdoesn’t love the hell out of Katara. He respects her and relies on her andadores her but is still able to push back when she’s out of line. My main thingwith Kataang, which will eventually resolve itself, is the ages. Aang is 12when he’s freed from the iceberg, Katara 14. Aang’s love was a kiddie puppycrush on a calming maternal figure which made me feel a bit icky during the finalepisode.

Because earlyAang did love Katara but he also needed her as a guide and a mother figurewhile Katara was nurturing Aang and making sure he’s safe and happy when hereally needed to be facing the consequences of some of his actions. I see whythe characters did what they did but it makes a romance then kind of ug. I’dhave preferred if the series ended with hints and then skipped to LOK where wesee they married and junk. Because given a few years, I can see Aang and Katarabeing a good healthy couple (with no *shudders* sweeties to be seen).

Aang has just changed the world, he needstime to settle himself as the Avatar and to help Zuko and other leaders repairthe damage done by the 100 year war. Katara needs to figure out what she’sgoing to do, go home? Travel? A romance isn’t advised, especially since they’reso young. But when they’re a few years older, Aang is more mature and iswilling to see Katara as a partner and not someone to mother him and Kataragrows into her potential and decides what she wants, yeah then they’d be happy.

TL;DR: Istrongly dislike Zutara (along with the ‘opposites attract’ and ‘animosity =sexual tension’ tropes it embodies) because it’s not a healthy, compatible shipwhile the canon ships: Maiko and Kataang are much more in line with thecharacters and their goals and have the chance to be long-lasting and happy.

[kkukkung]

Im crying in the school bathroom rn I seriously love wonho so much I'm in pain why is he my ideal guy in every way he's so amazing and handsome and sweet but whO CARES BEVause he don't kno me haha am I right

big mood all the time im always in pain bc he rly................ doesn’t KNOW i would let him shave off my eyebrows if he wanted 2

tardy replies as usual under the cut!

(sorted from oldest to newest)

I wouldn't even care if wonho was a high maintenance boyf tbh I'd just sit and comb his hair all day and tell him he's pretty

hdjkfh this was so long ago but i think i was mostly kidding abt him being a high maintenance bf... like he would do so much giving? but i guess the only thing he’d need is constant reassurance that his s/o loves him imo jfdhgjk... i also think he’d b someone who either doesn’t settle down ever or does it very late in his life!

annie 🌹literary queen ❤️ literally crowned with a laurel wreath! not be drum attic but this midsummer nights monsta au is so!!!! give me sistar as the four star crossed lovers then drag me to h*ll and give me this doctor faustus au i'm itching for with kihyun as faustus and k.will as mephistopheles bc i love to watch my faves s*ffer but don't let me rip until i get my much ado about nothing au with the entire cast of starship ent and a lil cameo from giriboy!

(in refence to this monsta x as shakespearean archetypes ask!) fjdshgkjs shh i lov u... why is k will as mephistopheles so Accurate esp no.mercy k will lmao. um u should write all of these? in fact if... if anyone has mx literary aus.... hmu...... i’ll n*t

another thing about that incident is that it seems like the fan doesn't think Changkyun and Jooheon undersood them?? (an extension i guess they assumed they don't understand english very well) and that's pretty problematic. it seems to me that when they didn't respond the fan assumed they didn't understand and kept repeating it, as a joke. but they literally did That to the two with the most proficient english in the group... it's rly a mess all around. it's disrespectful through and through

(in relation to that gross “d*ddy” incident from a while ago) ik i feel like some intl fans think korea is a land completely culturally and linguistically alienated/divorced from the rest of the world or something and while cultural relativism is real to some extent... the idea that koreans are completely unaware of ~outside~ things is deeply racist. like mostly white ppl think that diasphoric poc are completely Different from them? when my mum went to the states 15 years ago some ppl literally asked her if there were newspapers in china lol...

i just randomly thought of monsta x as sesame street characters mostly bc i wanna see kihyun and wonho duke it out as bert and ernie (kihyun w/ the waste paper bin on his head and wonho asking 'where's the waste paper bin' and kihyun saying 'ask me that again and look into my eyes') and also minhyuk being elmo tbh...

JKGHKJDF PLEASe!!!! when will something like this b photoshopped... minhyuk as elmo is... spot on... i remember once elmo appeared on a now-discontinued late night talk show program i used to watch when i was in primary school and he was like “elmo likes wasabi, that’s why elmo has no eyebrows” and idk why ive never been able to forget this????? very lmh. also this made me think of a monsta x muppets au n minhyuk is the pic of ass-gape kermit.... next post of mine will b monsta x as kermit reaction pics

Hyungkyun is such an under appreciated ship. Like, they just get each other so well? Why do people overlook it. ㅠ.ㅠ Do you have a moment that made you ship them? How would you describe their dynamic?

it’s bc they’re intp x intj they don’t rly... Understand each other with minimal effort/real communication lmao it’s very efficient. both quiet lil darlings who aren’t emotionally That Open but enjoy their own little space together sometimes?? their dynamic is like... they’re weird in different ways but they’re v chill together. u can tell hyungwon is super fond of changkyun like he has this Expression when ck does anything at all.... i think these two rly love each other’s personalities bc they’re both kind/gentle/peaceful types and their overall ?? vibe is just highly compatible... they’re absolute darlings... v soft together... i can’t think of a favourite moment but i rly rly love their birthday messages for each other last year like changkyun’s message for hyungwon was like “ur rly cool bruh ur rly such a great person” and hyungwon’s message for changkyun was rly... just him obviously doting on him n finding him cute jksfdhg i lov them a lot :(

soyou: i know how to make hair pretty :))) knetz: dirty fckn iljin why can't she be out there being being PRODUCTIVE in society by having babies and learning how to be a good wife for her future husband ://// smh how dare she be successful now when i'm stuck doing what society wants me to do but also anonymously attacking ppl i don't personally know on the internet bc THATS respectable the irony of ugly knetz is so transparent

The whole thing about Knetz and wonho's "scandalous" past reminded me of something. As a PSA to those people who are so insistent and pushy that idols aren't allowed to have sex/date/be anything but straight: Fuck all of you. You do not own these people, and if you really cared about them you'd be happy if they were happy. Like tbh, if anyone that famous and busy could also balance out a relationship at the same time, I'd be so happy for them. It really bugs me how all idols are supposed (1/2)(2/2) have this squeaky clean innocent image where they have to look and act a certain way and have these stupid fucking dating bans because once they don't meet up to that image their success suffers. Idols already give up so much privacy, and the last thing they need is millions of people scrutinizing every little thing they do. I don't even know where I started this rant from, but basically, GIVE IDOLS PRIVACY AND DONT JUDGE THEM FOR THEIR PASTS OR FOR BEING IN RELATIONSHIPS OR WHATEVER

yeth ty for highlighting the gross obsession w purity and productivity (like the first anon said -- a very confucian sort of ideal)... i don’t rly have anything else to add here i think. also i would fight for soyou i fact i would fight lmh who said she was his ideal type in no.mercy era... she’s rly one of my faves and the way she was slandered for the hairdressing thing was one of the most ridiculous things knets ever did lmao honestly yuk

u a kihyun stan now👀👀👀

im a @fhiz​ stan it’s the same thing tbh

ahh so i saw your tags on that jh gifset! as one of the few jh stans (or maybe there are way more than i think there are lol) i rly love his "reversal charm." he has a lot of what i lack as a person: a strong presence and a lot of confidence! i respect him so much as a person alth i rag on him a lot LMAO. sorry if this is a bit long winded but i just rly wanted to put this out there ;;

this is rly cute i lov hearing ppl talk abt their faves lovingly it rly... Heals Me. i think it’s strange how underappreciated jooheon is in this fandom especially bc he’s usually the one who catches ur eye first bc he’s so hyped by starship as being a one-in-a-million talented rapper u know? and he rly shines in mvs and no.mercy but............. y does he have the least fansites jkfhdg ?? you’re v right abt the reversal charm thing but i feel like sometimes it’s very overdone like... on lots of shows he’s asked to do aegyo when rly he should be asked to... idk... rap or dance or something?? i actually think jooheon is the most serious member of monsta x sometimes bc he seems to have a sense that he’s.. the pillar of mx if that makes sense? and that’s why he’s always pushing himself and working tirelessly like he feels very Responsible for this group, more than anyone else. idk if that makes sense!!! i love him and i want him to... unwind a bit bc sometimes he looks so stressed and tired but he still feels the need to pretend to be energetic like my heart rly hurts for him :/ this got so emo im sry i do rly love to hear that u respect him sm i love jooheon stans :(

i can see what u mean about jooheon being 1 of the most masculine. (iirc u also talked abt kihyun being that in a post a while ago) like with his face and his physique he really is striking; his body=like that slim,upside-down Y that you'd learn to draw men w/ in Anatomy 101 , but i think.. ,--not that u asked, but,, i think the jury's still out on if he's comfortable w his masculinity with the way he acts feminine lyk misogynistic comedians Can sound like dead ringers for women,? idk & i take +

(not sure if there was a 2nd part to this? there’s nothing else in my inbox so i’m sry if there was and tumblr ate it) yeth i think i meant that his demeanor is the most ~~masculine~~ whereas i think kihyun is still the most... idk... mature-masculine?? if tht makes sense, and i definitely agree w u on that second point! i didn’t think of that at the time but now that i... do... think abt it... ur right and also the way he comes back from it by putting on the >swag demeanor again in an attempt to polarise it is definitely a bit 👀👀👀 he probably doesn’t want to risk his Manly Rapper Image for real u kno? that said it’s ingrained in kpop that behaving cute --> “girly” entails that sort of “comedic” high-pitched voice + compact body language etc.... like i’m not condoning that ofc but i definitely think it’s broader than this particular case! :/ hm

maybe i'd be doing better in school if i could major in kihyunology ;~; i stan him but i def think we still don't know much about him even after all this time after debut. especially when i look at him compared to wonho who wears his heart on his sleeve (bless him i love wonho sm, gotta protect this bun at all costs!!)...but ya it just makes me wanna learn more about him like who is the real kihyun??

i want to write a kihyun meta when i have time... i feel like i Get him a bit more these days but it’s also very hard to put into words bc u kno when u kinda sorta mb get some1 but it’s a feeling rather than anything conveniently expressable gkjdhfjk.... idk if anyone wants to send in some Kihyun Thoughts + Meta feel free! :>> i don’t think he’s actually... as complex as we sometimes make him out to be lol like his behaviour is actually kind of predictable? more on his later

wait is the february comeback actually true? ugh i'm so conflicted cuz on one hand i'm excited if there's really gonna be a full length album, but i also think they need more rest but then there's the matter of getting their first win and idk i'm super psyched but i'm also worried that the boys are being overworked

i still feel like they had a comeback like yesterday lol like looking at their schedules stresses me out bc they do so much..... im glad wonho got to go to his mum’s cafe recently tho! all we can do is have faith in them rn and when it’s time... stream, buy things if ur able to, spread the news and the hype etc. i am definitely Worried abt some things like the competition they’re up against but.... gotta have faith u kno... and i feel like all active idols are kind of... permanently worked very hard but i think currently only jooheon and shownu are a bit Overloaded. also has the date been confirmed yet... it’s february already...

[purplerakath]

Best Friends to Lovers Trope

I hate it, not... all the words in that top line. Just the first word there. Lemme explain.

So when you have best friends, there’s this implied (or stated) ‘to the end of the line’ mindset that is great, I love that. More of that. My issue with the ‘to lovers’ added to the end is it suggests ‘all meaningful implicit trust relationships must be sexual’ and I find that not okay.

Of course, who I get irritated at depends on if it’s a het ship, or a gay/lesbian ship (bi technically can go in either, but it isn’t about the orientations of the character, but the dynamic of the relationship). With het ships being on the creators and nonhet being on the fandom.

Sidebar: So in this case what I hate is static, it’s implying that all fully trusting relationships must be sexual. And if you enjoy this super trusting best friends to lovers thing that is fine. If you want this to be the kind of representation you lack in canon works that is also fine. But for me I like that divide between ‘implicit trust without boning’ and ‘implicit trust with boning’ to exist.

So on the Creators, there is a long history, if a boy is friends with a girl. At some point, without fail, if they are both straight. The two will jump into bed. And if they are best friends they will jump into bed and be each other’s “The One.” This is Ron and Kim in Kim Possible, this is the story of tried and true friends must bone or their friendship is a devious torture device called ‘The friend zone,’ a rant for another day.

And even if they aren’t super best friends from kindergarten, there is this moment at the start of all hetero romance plots where you know ‘these two gonna bone’ within the first five seconds on screen together (even if it takes them seven years to get there).

On the fandom, there is this desire to turn caring into a litmus test for bone compatibility, and the situation shifts to the other side. The eternal example is W*nchesters. They care so much, they are everything to each other, it is twoo wuv. The fact that they are brothers can’t stop this!

But it is the same mistaken premise that ‘you only care about people you really want to bang.’ I don’t begrudge the ships individually, but there’s this collective desire to make this the end result for all things. 

I want a new narrative, I want a narrative where they care for each other, help each other, are together forever... and they married other people. And that that is okay.

Sidebar: Friends to lovers is fine, I am always and forever down for that. If we have a group of friends on equal footing like a Power Rangers team? Some of them deciding to pair off is fine! Go for it, I will write that forever. But anyone in the ‘super best friends’ camp? I kinda like keeping that platonic.

Hypocritical exception: I ship the hell out of Rilaya in GMW. I make no bones about that.

[joyfullymassivecollectorme-blog]

five  Things To Look For When Buying The Audio Visual Receiver

So that you have settled down to see the latest big-screen movie on the massive HD/plasma/3-D TV... An individual grabbed the bag regarding hot cinnamon caramel snacks, a cold one to drink, obtained the family and watched film production company. Somehow, the picture and sound quality just wasn't quite as well as you thought it would be and you also realised, that, despite proudly owning an expensive TV, the sound as well as visual effects just didn't quite cut it. This is where a good audio visual receiver (AV receiver) makes the home movie theater experience a fully immersive along with richly satisfying occasion. A audio receiver functions because the hub of a home theatre technique by handling a variety of duties, such as decoding the signs for surround sound, performance to radio stations, powering up speakers and switching involving audio and video components. Here are the 5 most critical things to look for when choosing the top audio receiver. 1) A higher Tech Audio Visual Beneficiary Or Not... You may think a new, high-tech audio receiver is the greatest thing possible, but end right there. You need to be able to work out how to use it! The display screen must be easily navigable so that you can enjoy concert hall good quality sound and movie quality pics, rather than the audio receiver getting dust because you can't work out how to turn it on. A good quality recipient will usually include a graphical program through which the user can setup and operate the recipient. All the information will be clearly viewed so you can figure out how to navigate as well as use the unit. 2) Adjusted: Is The AV Receiver easy To Calibrate? If you are a novice, developing a home entertainment system so that the many components are correctly linked can be tricky, let alone sorting out whether the components are all functioning correctly. Most of the best audio receivers make this part slightly easier by offering automatic speaker calibration, allowing the individual to analyse and instantly adjust the sound of the linked speaker system. The receiver transmits test tones to the speakers and sub woofer, monitoring the sound using a microphone so that it can determine speaker dimension, measures the distance from each speaker to the listener along with check whether the components tend to be properly connected. This technology works for the traditional two channel home entertainment system as well as for the surround sound home cinéma theatre. An important note is, the powerful sound bursts in a high action motion picture and other special effects can empty the receivers power whether it is not a high current electrical power audio visual receiver. An increased powered unit will produce the high quality movie sounds greater than a similar receiver that doesn't possess high current power, even though it has the same wattage. 3) Is There Airplay Compatibility Available? These days the best audio receivers will have AirPlay compatibility that is the latest technology allowing end users to wirelessly stream tunes from an iOS device ( Apple) as well as digital blog such as Pandora. This allows that you stream directly to the receiver. Make sure the version associated with iPhone, iPad or mp3 player you own has integrated cellular streaming capabilities before you get a receiver with AirPlay technology. 4) Power: Make It High Wattage Power isn't just another word for volume, strength is measured in w. More importantly, it determines a good audio receivers ability to multiply dynamic and detailed noise. A high wattage unit can provide better sound quality over people that have less power, even with the lower and medium amounts of the movie. It's vital the receiver is powerful sufficient to accommodate both the speakers which might be connected to it and the room where the receiver is located. With respect to the speaker sensitivity, the power needed to match the specific speakers is determined by the number of decibels it pumps out per watt of electric power. You'll find that speakers with decrease sensitivity will require more electrical power. Make sure you take into account the size of the room. If the room is a huge one in which an amusement system is set up, more electrical power is required. Another point is are the cause of on how much power will probably be needed, is whether you are looking at a residence theatre or stereo device. The stereo receiver is really a simpler and less expensive system for music lovers who also aren't necessarily looking for a cinema surround sound experience. A home cinema audiovisual receiver is designed to develop a fully immersive, surround music for users to enjoy. 5) Last But Not Least: AV receiver Advices and Outputs This is a very simple one. The more inputs along with outputs the device can provide the better. These inputs and also outputs are where you hook up to the receiver with your TELLY, gaming system, iPod or audio speakers. You need to have enough inputs and also outputs to handle all your products easily, plus a few extra for just in case. And while a good number of inputs and results are important, you must make sure they are the proper kind. The audio device should offer digital relationships, providing better video and audio quality than the far more dated analogue inputs as well as outputs. To get the most fun out of your HD equipment it should connected to a receiver utilizing an HDMI (Hi Definition Media Interface) connection. Choosing the best music visual receiver for your home theater cinema experience which will create for you the best of movie as well as sound enjoyment for years into the future is a step to be taken along with careful research. Choosing a great AV receiver with all the above qualities will ensure you will be very pleased with your purchase, particularly if that you are spending a fairly large amount of money. Looking for reviewed many of the most popular music receivers at Best Audio Receivers. av receiver reviews