#also because I have to start packing for a cousin’s wedding

[displayheartcode]

Okay, I ran a bunch of errands today and yesterday. Tomorrow, I will force to myself to sit down, chill, and write

[diazsdimples]

Do you have any buddie fic recs that is a /must/ read for Buddie shippers ( sorry I don't ship Bucktommy 🥹)

Boy do I ever!!!

honey, when you call my name - @hippolotamus (Explicit)

"Eddie witnesses the Buck/Lucy kiss, has himself a little panic, and decides to do something about it when Buck does his Buck thing and won't stop pushing Eddie's buttons" It's spicy, it's sweet, it's packed full of feels and there was not a dry eye in the house!!

Whatever may come (your heart I will choose) - @hippolotamus (Mature)

"The Story of Eddie and Christopher Diaz" The number of times I yelled at Hippo while reading this,,,, it is incredible!! 30 chapters of Buckley-Diaz family feels, Eddie's heartbreaking backstory and FUCK if I could read it for the first time again, I would!

James Bond AU Series - @princessfbi (Teen & Explicit)

James Bond AU with 007 Agent Eddie Diaz and Buck as Q. Incredible. No notes. Read them back to back in one sitting, and then read them again immediately after. No prior knowledge of James Bond needed (cause I sure didn't have any) but be prepared to have the sudden urge to go watch all the films.

Kink Club AU Series - @princessfbi (Explicit)

"Canon compliant one shots where Eddie works at a Kink Club as a side hustle and meets Buck there before his first shift in 2x01." This series is insanely good. 5 perfect fics of the boys and BDSM, it is incredibly hot, full of feels and just.... yeah. Incredible. Please do read the tags before each fic though, especially if BDSM isn't your thing.

because we'll all arrive in heaven alive - @neverevan (Explicit)

"During a search and rescue, Eddie disappears without a trace, leaving Buck to grapple with the sudden possibility of a life without him." I was literally on the edge of my seat with every single chapter release. It's SO angsty and delicious and absolutely incredible, and I think also very feasible for what could happen in canon should Timothy ever decide to be as mean (affectionate) as Newbie was by putting the boys through this.

Out Of Order, Still In Line - @neverevan (Explicit)

"When Buck finally gets to the Clinic, the long awaited release doesn’t seem to come; cue Eddie to the rescue." One of the first Buddie fics I read and it altered my brain chemistry a little. Lord have mercy. It's just ... you gotta read it. Like, Jesus 🥵

My Blood on Your Skin (My Rose on Your Snow) - @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Explicit)

"When Eddie needs cash and fast to take care of Christopher, his LAFD Academy buddy suggests a job as a bouncer at Elysium - an exclusive sex club in downtown Los Angeles. Eddie doesn't care what goes on there, so long as he's paid, but he finds he cares a lot bout the club's enigmatic owner, Evan Buckley, and it's not long before the two of them are violating every boss-employee rule in the book. But there's something different about Buck and the club, something not quite... human. If Eddie wants to keep Buck, he's going to have to delve into the world of immortals, and all the risks that implies." Honestly I think the blurb says it all. I read this at my cousin's wedding (literally just before the ceremony and during the reception fsdkjdfs) because I literally couldn't put it down. Incredible Greek Gods integration and so. fucking. hot. Sorry Caleb, I hope your matrimony is holy but this was so worth it.

stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong - @daffi-990 (Unrated at present)

"Probational Firefighters Evan “Buck” Buckley and Eddie Diaz meet on a call which ends with them at odds with each other. As the months roll by, they keep running into each other on the job, much to Eddie’s dismay and Buck’s delight. Can they put aside their first opinions and misunderstandings and allow the seeds of friendship, and possibly something more, to take root?" This AU has been eating me alive with snippets for the last few months and the chapters are FINALLY being published!! Stay tuned for weekly updates about our idiots being - well - idiots. Daffi has written them so well and I don't think I could yell louder about this one if I wanted.

Cow Eyes - @theotherbuckley (General)

"'Eddie's in hospital and Buck tries not to break down' fic except its actually just a cute silly little fic" Exactly what is says on the tin. Cute, silly, fluffy and entirely adorable. High!Eddie is fucking hilarious and Worried!Buck has my whole ass heart. Love this fic, have read it many times, will read many times more

Both Blade and Branch - @cal-daisies-and-briars (Mature)

"The chances of being struck by lightning twice are incredibly minute, but Buck still manages to pull it off. During a double date with Marisol and Natalia, nonetheless. Eddie manages to resuscitate him, but as Buck recovers from yet another trauma, Eddie can’t help but notice there’s something very different about him. He’s not quite sure what version of Buck he got back." Orpheus and Eurydice vibes but somehow more heartbreaking because it's the Boys? Literally every chapter I was gobsmacked and the fact that I couldn't read it in one sitting due to Life™️ was frankly criminal.

what humans do - @gayhoediaz

""…and the thought that she had just escaped death by such a narrow margin made me realize the intensity of my feelings toward her.” Eddie swallows. “‘What’s the matter?’ I couldn’t tell her, so I kissed her instead,” Buck goes on, and since Eddie’s eyes are focused on the page, they drift ahead a little bit, and the next few lines have him swallowing once again, taking his hand back to brace himself against the mattress as he slowly starts to push himself up to sit. “Kissing is what humans do when words have reached a place they can’t escape from. It is a switch to another language. The kiss was an act of defiance, maybe of war. You can’t touch us, is what the kiss said. ‘I love you,’ I told her, and as I smelled her skin, I knew I had never wanted anyone or anything more than I wanted her…” Buck trails off when Eddie reaches for the book, gently luring it out of his grasp. " One of the best getting together fics I've read. So sweet, so hot, full of feels, and also just very 🤯 in many places. Just insanely well written and perfect imagery.

Also I have a small list of authors whom I love dearly:

@spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @wildlife4life @thewolvesof1998 @thekristen999

@steadfastsaturnsrings @watchyourbuck @fortheloveofbuddie @rainbow-nerdss @bidisasterevankinard

@aroeddiediaz @jesuisici33 @wikiangela @loveyouanyway @kitteneddiediaz

@actuallyitsellie @dangerpronebuddie @loserdiaz @elvensorceress @underwaterninja13

@smilingbuckley

Literally anything these wonderful people (and the authors of the above fics) have written is well worth a read. I would rec all of their words and make individual recs for all their fics but I fear I simply do not have the words.

I might also humbly suggest some of my fics, which you can find here! Happy reading!!!

[spngi]

My tears ricochet | mafia!carlos sainz jr x reader

Prologue | part 1 | part 2 | Part 3| Part 4 |part 5| part 6

Part 7

summary: Mr. and Mrs. Sainz lived in a dream for many years, now everything is falling apart and they need to deal with their feelings

warnings:Grammar mistakes, mentions of violence, Carlos is an idiot, mentions of cheating, sexual content, angst.

I watch the man lying on my bed, Carlos is in the same position as the night before, breathing high and I can smell the alcohol of perspiration infesting the room. I open the curtains and windows and let the sun enter along with the breeze to clean the smell of the room.

The man doesn’t move, still too drunk to wake up and I know that an infernal hangover awaits him.

“Wake up” I pinch the skin of his shoulder and he just murmurs leaving me with no patience. “The phone doesn’t stop ringing and if I have to solve any other problem with ports and tax I’ll throw the phone at you, carlos”

He just grunts, opens his eyes slowly and regrets it immediately.

“Good morning,” he murmurs, hoarse voice.

“Good morning” I approach him and extend the cup of coffee with the medicines for him.

“What’s going on?” I watch him scratch his eyes and face me, his eyes stopping when he sees the green nightgown I’m wearing.

It was good to provoke Carlos, even more after everything he told me yesterday, it was good to leave him desperate the same way he left me. The green piece was just a good detail to add to Carlos’ punishment.

“That idiot from the Port of Brussels does not stop calling, I have already solved the situation but it seems that he is too incompetent or just can’t stand to receive orders from a woman” I murmur to Carlos “me and Charles are solving this, but your accountant is also calling to talk about taxes, and we have to leave in a few hours for your cousin’s wedding preparations.”

“I can just...” he breathes, closes his eyes. It’s a lot of information for his head exploding and I could even laugh if I was in the mood. “Lay down for a while? Lie down with me, let’s forget all these calls”

This time I can’t help laughing, Carlos’ words funny enough for my state of mind. As if nothing had happened, as if that was his way of fixing things.

“Get up, Carlos! We still have to pack our bags” I murmur to him, leaving towards the closet.

“You look beautiful in green” his voice resonates groggy around the room.

“I know”

...

It’s strange to share the joy of creating a bond from a new family when mine was falling around. Although I still didn’t know exactly what to do, and the presence of carlos behind me wherever I went like a shadow left me stunned, the word divorce kept returning to my mind.

Maybe it was time for me to give up after all.

The excitement of being with the sainz family, the effort I had in buying the best wedding gift that this couple could receive, the joy in the eyes of the bride for knowing that she would soon carry the surname sainz as well. None of this was able to cheer me up, and I felt like an intruder taking off the luck of the couple.

I had once read in a Lima Barreto book the following phrase “we did not understand each other, their joys were not mine, my pains were not even perceived” and I never felt so represented.

Carlos seems to want to surround me, fill me with his attention, with his affection but that only makes me more uncomfortable, because I know that morning he didn’t choose me when he received that phone call, didn’t even think of me twice or doubted that I had done that. I think I could only really get over it by hearing him apologize, real apologies as an adult man and not that drunk show he gave the other night.

The shared hotel room becomes small enough for me, suffocating with the presence of Carlos. And the game of teasing each other ends up becoming a fierce trap.

I regret having started this game the moment I realized that I couldn’t get away from Carlos here, miles away from our house sharing a normal size hotel room. So every time I showed up before getting dressed or just in a towel after the shower I needed to hear him begging so that he could have me or just touch me, and for most of the nights I need to sleep frustrated with all the words and promises that I don’t let Carlos fulfill.

It is on the night of the rehearsal dinner, the day before the morning of the wedding that I let myself be defeated, maybe if I just let things flow I would feel better, I would remember what it was like to have a happy marriage and Carlos has always provided infinite amounts of pleasure.

I wait for Carlos to get out of the shower, sitting on the end of the bed, watching the TV passing an old movie, waiting and hoping that Carlos will continue begging tonight and don’t leave me a desperate mess today.

When he finally appears in only sweatshirt pajama pants and watches me, sitting, wearing only the old Real Madrid t-shirt of Carlos that became my pajamas a long time ago.

“You’re beautiful, I don’t get tired of saying that” he speaks, hoarse voice and body leaning on the door stop. “Please, cariño! Please let me show you how much I appreciate you, that I love you”

His voice comes out desperate and when he calls me cariño I can’t avoid the chill crossing my body. He realizes and takes the opportunity to get closer to me.

“Please” he whispers, kneels in front of me, brown eyes never breaking the contact, his hand is content to hold my ankle and kiss the area there. “Let me just be with you again, prove you, please I’m begging”

“Why did you do this to us?” I ask him, the same foot he holds I use to move his body away from mine.

“Because I couldn’t see you grow up and be like me,” he admits, “And I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, I know that words will never fix this but I want you to know that I will do everything for us”

I loosen the strength of my leg against him and let him get closer.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks.

“Don’t make me regret it” I murmur to him who doesn’t waste time, the big hands pull me by the waist and the mouth joins in mine. He is desperate and anxious after so much time away and provocation.

Carlos’ hands explore the sensitive skin under the t-shirt, the light touch of his fingers making me more anxious for him, pulling the black curls of his soft hair in the form of retribution. He takes the T-shirt off my body in a single movement when he separates the kiss, his hot mouth going down kisses around my neck, lap and letting himself play with my nipples, his teeth rubbing on the sensitive skin, he is still kneeling between my body, his hands holding my waist keeping me still with his grip, delivered to him.

“Carlos” I call his name, lust flowing from my voice.

“Don’t worry, darling. I’ll take care of you” he murmurs, his mouth slipping through my body, one of his fingers caressing the already wet fabric of my panties and I hear him moan along with me when he realize that I’m already like this at his slightest touch.

I kiss him again, my hands firm on Carlos’ back probably leaving nail marks, he bites my lip and I moan, my panties going to the ground in a quick gesture coming from him, his right hand playing with the proximity of where I want him the most.

He separates the kiss, arrogant smile on his face before bending down to where I need him the most, leaving small kisses on the sensitive skin of my thigh and getting even closer, and when he arrives in my pussy I let myself lay my body on the bed, my breathing already heavy with the slightest touch. Carlos’ mouth explores my intimacy, my feet resting on his shoulders, one of his hands squeezing my chest while the other focused on provoking my entrance with his fingers, his tongue leaving me a mess crying out for him and after all this time I didn’t know if I was still prepared for all the pleasure that carlos could provide.

He devours me like a hungry man, making me squirm in the hotel bed, my hand trying to cover my mouth to stifle the unnecessary amount of moans coming out of it. Although Carlos had a provocative nature, today he had no patience for this, he wanted to catch up on lost time, leaving my high getting bigger and bigger, and the closer I get the more I move.

“I need you to stand still, mi reina” he murmurs, his head tilted up slightly, his mouth swollen, his thumb making slow and torturous circles on my clitoris. And all this vision makes me moan even more his name, he laughs and uses both hands to hold me against the bed, the strong squeeze in my ass. He continues his exploited, knowing that I wouldn’t last much longer that way, the way I pull more and more of his curls leaving him alert of how close I am.

He continues with slower movements even after realizing that I finally came, my head is in an eternal wheezing due to the pleasure I felt and when I open my eyes I slowly observe Carlos, now standing on the end of the bed watching the work he did, he licks his lip and then his fingers and only this action makes me squirm in bed.

“God how I missed you” he murmurs still standing.

“It was you who put yourself in this position” admirably I still have the strength to answer.

“I know, and I regret it every day” he puts one of his knees on the bed and leans over to my body, his hand caresses my disheveled hair “I will never be able to be grateful enough that you insisted on me”

I know that his words are true, I see in the back of his eyes the emotion this time, it is exciting at least to know that he is opening up to me again, to know that I can read his eyes as before and not the icy astonishment he stared at me in recent months. But, again, the memory of knowing that I didn’t put myself in this situation, that I wasn’t my husband’s first choice makes me nauseous. Then I pull him again for a kiss, more delicate this time, without all urgency and hurry, just showing each other’s devotion.

Not even after the four hallucinating orgasms and the most intense fuck I’ve ever had in one night, and after sleeping like a little angel, full of endorphins and in Carlos’ warm arms I wouldn’t be prepared for what would come next. Even after the morning sex, intimate and slow, full of caresses and whispers, declarations of love spread everywhere. I still wasn’t prepared for the weeding day.

I didn’t know I wasn’t prepared for the wedding ceremony, I didn’t know I would feel terrible at every step.

When I joined the bride for the preparations, and I looked at her, wondering if maybe the future that awaited her would be like mine, I wonder if I forgot some tradition during the wedding for it to have lasted so little, Carlos had never seen the wedding dress I wore, I wore a veil, I had a wreath on my head, I had my new piece, an old one borrowed and I had the blue too, I did all the right things and I still envy the innocence of the future Mrs. Saiz in front of me.

I laugh when they comment on how lucky I am, and how the men of the sainz family have the motto of being gentlemen and romantic and I imagine that mine certainly came with a factory problem.

The worst part is the ceremony, and my tears that I can no longer hold mix with those of the other guests who cry with emotion. I watch Carlos on the other side of the altar, next to the other godparents of the wedding, he smiles at me. He doesn’t understand the real reason I’m crying, his eyes seem nostalgic and maybe he’s remembering the day we got married, how he cried when he saw me at the altar, how my dress made me absolutely angelic as he repeated so many times on that special day, how we couldn’t help but smile with the realization that we were finally married.

My heart breaks with every word prophesied by the priest, with every vow I hear the bride and groom speak, with every good memory I had and was destroyed.

“I carlos oñoro sainz, receive you, Maria, as my legitimate wife. I promise to be faithful, love you and respect you. In joy and sadness, in health and disease, in wealth and poverty, for all the days of our lives. So receives this alliance as a sign of my love and my fidelity” the groom recites the vows, the most sacred laws of a marriage and I can only think of how they were all broken.

In how there was no fidelity, support and unity, in how Carlos and I managed to ruin everything, to break something so sacred.

I feel suffocated in the pink dress that matches that of the other bridesmaids, I clean the controlled tears that run down my face before I become a mess.

And it didn’t matter the way Carlos held my hand during the reception, or how he danced romantic songs with me and made slow and passionate love to me at the end of the night, I was already decided when I left that church.

I just didn’t imagine that it would be at a wedding that I would decide to end mine.

We are coming to an end 😭

I don’t know you were waiting for this or what your bets for how things will end but let me know, I love receiving your opinions and I can’t post nos because it may contain spoiler lol 😂

Thank you all ❤️❤️❤️

[ratherbefangirling]

Mi casa (2)

Genre: Omegaverse AU, Angst

Pairing: Ot7 x alpha!reader

Summary : Namjoon wonders if letting you in thier home will destroy it? He hopes it won't but if it does. He will start from scratch again because for his soulmate there isn't anything he wouldn't do.

Warnings: past mentioned abuse.

PREVIOUS | NEXT

Yoongi sits in his office working. After his comment about you possibly being Namjoon's mate. Namjoon sweared at him and left. Before Yoongi would have made a fuss about it but now he knew better, understood the more nuanced sides of his packmates including Namjoon.

Yoongi and Namjoon had both gone to the same middle school and high school and hated each other to the core. Or Yoongi hated that Namjoon was more alpha like and smart, always at the top of his academics. Namjoon on the other hand was jealous of Yoongi's more omega like features and his ability to not care about anyone's opinion.

They had gone to different colleges. They had met once again when Jin and Namjoon's pack had decided to introduce them. They surprisingly melded well. At that time Yoongi and Jin had already decided to form a pack and Jungkook and Namjoon were roommates.

Yoongi had a rough time accepting Namjoon as his future pack. The first time they met again had been, for a lack of better word disastrous.

Still even though they had their differences most of the time they could put aside thier petty personal grudges for the sake of the pack.

Yoongi still remembers the day they had come to the conclusion to put the people they cared for before thier frankly childish behaviour.

Working for the shelter was a tough job. In a day Yoongi sees more terrible things than most people do in months. As much as he finds his job fulfilling it makes him tired and angry and it's made worse for having to show up at a job where everyone else is also tired and angry and there's nothing he could do about it (not to mention dealing with officials, lawyers and policemen most of whom are entitled and haven't suffered a day in thier lives.)

Despite the majority of their time together being spent in arguments both firm in their beliefs (which is why they often seek each other out) he actually hates fighting with Namjoon.

In the pack he is usually agreeable with Jin and Hobi, Jungkook is his baby, Taehyung and him may have different world views but usually the younger one is very doting taking full advantage of calming Yoongi after riling him up because they are pack. He does bicker a lot with Jimin but its nothing like how Namjoon and him fight.

Thus only Hoseok or sometimes Jin who ends up using his alpha command can interfere. The alpha command (which Jin uses sparingly and in absolute necessity) is reserved between the pack and only works towards the pack. It has no effect in ruts and only the pack alpha's command has any noticeable effect.

Just like the other times the matter of concern hadn't been huge. Towards the end of the winter Jungkook had fallen sick. Incidentally everyone was busy. Hobi and Jin had to leave to Hoseoks close cousins wedding. Jimin and Taehyung had to give finals of their masters degree. Which left Yoongi and Namjoon.

That day Namjoon had an important meeting for the project he had spent months working for.

"I'm leaving hyung." Namjoon said picking up a bun to have in transit.

"Namjoon. Stay and help. You know I have to start with a lot of work.

"Hyung can't it wait. I have an important meeting." While the statement wasn't meant to be dismissive but Yoongi felt anger bubble through.

"What do you mean can't it wait"

"I said what I said hyung." Namjoon says irritated. "I have an important presentation I can't miss."

"Are you trying to say my work isn't important."

"I didn't say that hyung but you work in a shelter when I have an actual job." Later Namjoon would feel immense guilt because of his careless words. But then he was one tracked towards his job. Not ready to back down at all. Corporate wasn't kind to omegas.

"I'll stay back." Hoseok says.

"But your cousins wedding." Namjoon mumbles.

"Taehyung and Jimin will be done early because of their exams." Jin says.

"Yes we can come early don't worry.." Jimin says.

And that was that. Namjoon and Yoongi resolve their fight and treat the pack to a nice dinner. Making a pact to be more careful in the future.

//

It might be a little irresponsible but Namjoon needs to think and he hopes Yoongi won't tell on him to Jin.

But it's not very simple for Namjoon to decide.

Namjoon has a soulmate. A real soulmate.

Namjoon remembers vividly being alone. So alone that it ate him inside. For a long long time he felt unlovable. Unwanted. Being part of the pack helped alleviate some of those feelings. But being part of a seven member pack sometimes someone felt like a seventh wheel. And he would rather it be him than anyone else.

But having a soulmate. His soulmate meant nobody would be lonely. He would have his own person. He didn't doubt the packs love no but he was ultimately selfish and he wanted something that was entirely his. Someone that was his.

His alpha.

He got butterflies just thinking of it.

He knew it wasn't going to be easy. The pack may not approve but he wasn't going to abandon her. No matter what. You were his. Only his. His own Alpha.

And if he had to fight the world or his own pack to have you. Namjoon realised he would. Because you needed him too. He would take care of his alpha. He would make everything okay again.

The atmosphere in the house is tense, Jungkook notes. Yoongi is irritable and in one of those moods where he needs to be left alone. Namjoon has gone camping with his friend Jackson. Jin seems antsy and Hoseok looks like he's waiting for a bomb to drop. Jimin and Taehyung are as clueless as him.

The Maknae line decided to have a sleepover trip. A staycation at a nearby hotel. Its partially to give the hyungs space and and partially because its been a while since the three hung out together.

They spend part of the night gaming into the late hours of the morning together. As the morning sun rises Taehyung nudges Jungkook.

"Go get food. Junkookie.."

"I dont want to you get it if you're hungry" Jungkook says still busy in his game.

"Rock paper Scissors the Looser gets the food."

"Fine." Jungkook agrees. He ends up loosing against Taehyung who hi fives Jimin happily and they continue with the game.

Jungkook stretches. His muscles aching since he's been in the same position for so long. He grabs the car key and drives to a convenience store nearby.

He spots Namjoon and Jackson talking and goes near them.

"Are you sure Namjoon? Don't you think you're taking it way to far?" Jackson asks Namjoon.

"If I have to leave the pack I will."

Jungkook's mind blanks. Everything seems immaterial. He leaves the cart He was holding to run back to the hotel. This couldn't be happening.

When Jungkook more or less storms in both Taehyung and Jimin look up.

"What's wrong? Where's the food?" Taehyung asks.

"Namjoon's going to leave the pack."

"What the hell Jungkook?" Taehyung swears.

"What? Tell me clearly what happened?"

"He was talking to Jackson. He said he'll leave the pack."

"But that makes no sense." Jimin said.

"I'm not lying I swear." Jungkook says.

"Is that's why the hyungs are so on edge." Taehyung pointed.

Silence fell.

"Surely they wouldn't hide things from us right?" Jungkook asked tearing up at the thought of their family breaking.

"Maybe it's a misunderstanding and it'll sort itself." Jimin tried to reassure the maknae and hugged him.

"You must have misheard it. There's no reason to leave the pack." Taehyung reiterates.

"But I heard him"

"You must have heard wrong." Taehyung says anger evident in voice.

"Taehyungie calm down. You too kookie. It could easily be a misunderstanding like taetae said there's no reason to leave the pack" Jimin says.

Jungkook nods sniffing. The thought of Namjoon leaving scares him to death. He wonders if Namjoon feels unloved or unwanted. He decides he's going change Namjoon's mind.

"Let's just order room service OK?" Jimin says

Taehyung nods and calls. Making sure to order extra icecream because he thinks they'll need it.

So yeah that's it. It's been a while since I wrote anything. I just can't seem to these days. I miss the boys terribly. I hope you liked this. Mostly I'll try to finish this in the next part. I felt I had to end this part because it would go way too long though it ended up in the shorter side and feels slightly unbalanced to me. Tell me what you think.

Taglist : @kaceypdf ; @ghostlyworld ; @thelilbutifulthings ; @hijabae2019

Permanent taglist : @exfolitae ; @cryingpages ; @outrobtsnd

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Never have I ever everlark on the prairie

Sooooo I’m just gonna summarize this one because in just a few minutes of thinking about it I came up with intricate backstories and am just… nope. I do not need another WIP, especially not an historical AU where I’d fall down a deep rabbit hole of Research! 🧐 lmao I’ll probably wind up saving this in a doc and thinking about it too much anyway

Thanks for the ask, Anon.

❤️ kdnfb

Never Have I Ever

Peeta married young, to the pretty girl on a neighboring farm in Ohio. They had twin daughters and a few happy years of marriage before a string of bad winters and failed crops end with his leg permanently injured, and his wife being pregnant and ill. She and their third child both die during childbirth. Devastated and financially strapped, Peeta packs up his girls and moves out west, to a small mining town where he’s one of the few farmers. He grows wheat and also does work as a blacksmith for his neighbors because the town blacksmith is usually overwhelmed working for the mines. That way, Peeta’s not solely dependent on crops for income.

Katniss the daughter of a Tejano miner and a Boston girl who fell in love with him while she was in Texas with her father for a year. They eloped to the more northern prairies and raised two daughters nearly to adulthood before he died in the mines. Katniss’s mother never officially went to medical school, but she works as a midwife and doctor, and everyone in town calls her Doctor. In an attempt to heal the breach caused when Mrs E eloped, her family back east offers to help put both girls through school, and Katniss returns west after graduating to become the school teacher.

Katniss meets Peeta when her stagecoach breaks down on the road along the boarder of his farm. He fixes it, and offers food to the travelers, which Katniss finds endearing since he looks like he could use a couple dollars extra, a bath, a shave, and a new shirt. She’s already curious about the kind farmer she met when she sees him again a few days later, dropping his twin daughters off for school before he heads into town for supplies.

She’s smitten within weeks but tries not to show it because she doesn’t want to have a reputation. What would the parents of her students think if she started shamelessly flirting and throwing herself at Peeta Mellark?

Peeta’s daughters suspect their Papa might be sweet on their teacher when he keeps getting tongue tied around her. They absolutely 💯 get in trouble just so that Ms Everdeen has to talk to their papa as often as possible.

Peeta is embarrassed, thinking Ms Everdeen will believe he’s an awful father, but he’s really not. Also, she doesn’t think that at all. She thinks his daughters are just desperate for motherly attention.

Primrose comes home after medical school, takes one look at them together and asks when is the wedding.

It’s about four weeks after the first time they kiss. And that’s only so her cousin Gale can be present to give her away.

[kernyen-xo]

Long time!

Firstly, how y’all been? I’ve been wandering in from time to time and reading some of your posts. I just haven’t felt like posting myself until now.

Here we go.

What In the World: I walked out of Daiso and almost gave this woman a heart attack trying to get into my parked vehicle. My first thought was why in the world was this lady sitting in my vehicle, and why in the world the driver’s seat of all things?! I mean, why not the passenger side or the backseat?? And, why won’t my key unlock the door!? And then, almost immediately, after trying to open the door a second time, I was like, “Hold on now.. Uh oh. Oh no, this isn’t my vehicle!” Holy hot pockets! I immediately backed away, put up my hands, and told her, “I’m sorry,” several times, and then said, “My mistake, wrong car.” She just stared at me through the closed window, scared shitless. In case she didn’t understand what I said, I stepped back and gave her a respectful bow, and then hurriedly got into my car, which was parked in the next row. I hoped that when she saw me drive away, she was able to put 2+2 together because we had the same vehicle (same make, model, and color). Needless to say the humiliation of it all stuck with me the remainder of the day. I am such a dweeb.

Houston, We have a Problem: Went to Houston last month for my niece’s wedding. I just want to say that I don’t get why Houston is the 4th most populous city in our nation. I mean, the weather. It is pretty miserable. It was super humid and most of us were bitten by these mutant mosquitoes! Every wedding event my niece had was outdoors or it didn’t have A/C. Like the inside pickleball courts. She had a farewell outdoor crawdad boil for her guests, and the wedding and reception were also outdoors. All the events were pretty much held in the Heights area, which despite the weather is a nice historical area. But, you know what? I was glad that I went to Houston because my niece had a great wedding. I loved catching up with my nieces and nephews! I loved the serve yourself margaritas machines! Great people and great food and drinks! The kid and I went to Tenfold, a popular coffee place where I had my first cold brew with lemonade. It was was delicious and refreshing. On another day, the kid and I walked to have breakfast at this cafe with a great vibe. Attached to it was an antique shop, which we perused after we ate. We also did some shopping at Rice Village. We wanted to visit San Antonio but our schedule couldn’t spare the time.

The Kid Jr: My granddaughter graduated from the 8th grade last week! I’m so proud of her. I gave her a Kindle, which I was pretty excited about because she’s starting to enjoy reading, something she didn’t like before.

Saying Good-bye: I also attended my aunt’s funeral last week. Out of 8 kids, it’s just my mom and Uncle Junior that remains. It seems like yesterday when my generation of cousins were kids and our parents were still young and getting into their own shenanigans. It was a sad and bittersweet day. There were a lot of relatives that I didn’t even know, all of them cousins.

Books: I splurged. I decided I needed to start building up my personal library. It’s been a while since I’ve bought an actual book. I have been reading on my kindle or listening to audiobooks from the library app, Libby. It was time to start reading from actual books and adding to my home library. I used to have over 1,000 books but I got rid of most of them because it was becoming too much to pack and move them - especially when I was moving about 3 times a year. But now I have my own home and I’m not planning to move - at least for 5 years.

So, let the book buying begin!

The current book:

If you love birds, you’ll enjoy this book. Amy Tan’s backyard is a bird’s paradise. In this world of birds, you’ll learn about their habits, heartbreak, wonderful curiosities about the whys and why nots of birds’ actions. A lot of times unexplained, but if you are an avid bird watcher like Amy, her reasonings as to why the out of ordinary behaviors were interesting and entertaining. You will enjoy her drawings too.

The Kid and Me: Here’s what we did at the wedding 😆

The beautiful bride and her groom:

(Houston, The Heights May 2024)

How can they look so good in the sticky weather?

The Kid takes a picture of Yours Truly: (Grass Valley, May 2024)

My Loves:

(Sac-Town May 2024)

This post has been brought to you by Toodles, Inc.

[imagine-that-100]

Menswear

Description: You’re off to Manchester for your Aunt and Uncle’s wedding and nothing is ever simple when you and Matty are involved. With your history something is always bound to happen, whether that is subtle teasing touches, secret flirting, or something more. And after everything, you can’t carry on ignoring it because your heart’s not immune to his effect and just how happy he makes you.

Word Count: 16.2k

Warnings: Smut (enjoy)

A/N: Hey besties, i’m backkkk. So, if you’ve read @nriacc, you have read this before. I wanted to put this out as it’s own oneshot because I understand not everyone wants to commit to a large fic but I think this part at least deserves to be it’s own thing. I originally released this back in July 2021 and there’s been an oddly similar fic since with very similar characters and with not even a tag it feels like common crisis has been ripped off, so I want to give nriacc that little bit more exposure too because it’s the og. The only context you need going into this is Alex is one of the OC’s best mates, Matty’s nickname for this OC is Wheels (hence why I call her that), and Wheels is Adam’s cousin. Really hope you enjoy if you’ve not read it before or if you’re having a reread. Thanks a million for reading x

| My Masterlist | NRIACC Masterlist |

Whilst unpacking all of his boxes into his new flat, Alex finds a book which he was going to send to you a month ago. It’s the last one he read and annotated before his break-up and move back to the UK but he never got a chance to send it over to you before it was thrown into a box to bring back home. And Alex gets a little emotional at the thought of giving it to you.

Alex debates whether he should even give it to you or not but in the long run he knows he’d regret not gifting it to you. So that was what brought him over to your flat again a few days later despite him knowing that you were going over to Manchester today.

So around noon, Alex heads over to your flat to give you your last book he’d yet to give you. He just hopes you’re still around.

He lets himself into the building as he still had his own keys because after moving out you just told him to keep them. But Alex decided to knock on your door before he let himself in with that set of keys, just so he didn’t scare you.

Just as he knocks, Alex realised that your door is already open as you must have left it on the latch. And just as he starts to push the door open, he hears you call out that, “It’s open!”

He walks in, closing the door behind him, leaving it on the latch for you like you wanted it as he walks down the short hallway into your lounge. He looks around for you as he calls out, “Hey Angel.”

“Al?” You call out from your room confused and you poke your head out seeing the singer standing in your lounge.

“You okay Y/N/N?” Alex says walking towards you to meet you in your doorway.

You meet in the middle and you hug each other as you tell him, “I’m good, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m great thanks,” Alex says as he lets you escape from the hug.

You both head into your room then as you ask your best friend, “You know I’m going away today, right?”

“I do, it's why I'm here actually,” Alex tells you as he watches you start to last minute pack stuff into your suitcase.

Alex chuckles to himself. The suitcase is the size of something he would take away with him on tour for months on end, not something you’d take for a week in Manchester.

You raise your eyebrows, curious for him to continue and Alex does, “I came to say bye, but also to give you this.”

Alex holds the novel out to you then and you abandon your case to collect it from him. As you take it, you ask, “What’s this?”

“It was your last in the book club, but I didn't have the chance to send it over and I found it again when I was unpacking,” Alex tells you as you inspect the cover and he sees your smile grow as he tells you about it.

“Thank you so much,” You tell him before you give him another big hug.

Alex smiles as he hugs you back, “You’re welcome, sorry you’re getting it months behind schedule.”

You tell him to not be silly, it’s thoughtful of him to actually give it to you instead of just keeping it to go on his new bookshelves. “I’ll give it a read when I finish the one I’m on now, although I’m reading Stephen King’s IT and it’s fucking huge so it might take me a while.”

Alex chuckles at that as he watches you find a space for it on the end of your bookshelf, “Don't worry, there’s no rush.”

You slot it neatly at the end of the very bottom shelf and just as you’re about to ask Alex another question about it, you hear the door go again. You head back out of your bedroom door and shout, “It’s open” again before leaving your bedroom.

Alex follows you out and you turn back to tell him, “It’ll be Matty.”

And you aren’t wrong because a second later the curly haired brunette wraps his arms around you and has picked you up to spin you around. Alex watches as you giggle in Matty’s arms and your own arms circled around his neck to ensure you don't fall to the ground.

The both of you exchange pleasantries in the hall before you usher him inside, telling him that you just had a few more things to pack before you’re ready to go. Matty assures you that it’s fine before he tells you, “You look good today.”

You’re dressed in blue skinny jeans, your hightops, and a long-sleeved black top that you have tucked into your jeans. You turn around and thank him before you usher Matty into the lounge.

In there you find Alex perching on the back of your loveseat, obviously wanting to be polite and say hello. You smile at Alex as you walk back into the lounge before you tell the both of them, “I’m just gunna pack up a few more things, I won't be long.”

Alex smiles at Matty when he makes eye contact with him and Matty smiles realising that he was here.

“You alright Alex?” Matty asks politely.

Alex nods, “Yeah good mate, how are you?”

“Yeah good thanks... Believe you’ve got a flat in the city now?” Matty asks curiously, filtering information back to him that you’d told him on the phone not so long ago.

“Yeah,” Alex nods, “Just thought I'd come and say bye because I'm headed back over to LA to record the next album in a week and I wouldn’t have a chance to say bye otherwise.”

Something which was true. You did know he was jetting off again and you were pleased that it was because of a new album and not a new tour straight away. At least you’d get him back for Christmas and a few months after that before a tour.

“That’s fair enough,” Matty says before curiously asking, “Got anything written yet?”

Alex nods, “Yeah I've got most of it done, just need to get it recorded with the rest of the lads.”

“That’s good,” Matty smiles and both blokes share a smile then.

At least you weren't the only thing they could bond over.

“Curly,” You pull both lads out of their chat and Matty smiles at you to continue when you come back out of your bedroom door with your suitcase, “Did they want me to bring anything?”

“Other than whatever you're actually wearing to the wedding, I don’t think they care,” Matty grins and you laugh.  

Alex chuckles a bit at that too but can’t help himself but say, “Still can’t believe they’re getting married mid October.”

“Same,” You and Matty nod in agreement. You add though, “It’s given out surprisingly good weather for Friday though so we’ll be lucky.”

Matty nods, thinking to himself that he’ll believe it when he sees it.

“What are you wearing anyway?” Alex asks you curiously, “Pant suit?”

You shake your head smiling, but you correct him, “I’m wearing a dress.”

“You’re wearing a dress?” Alex asks you, completely shocked, like he just didn’t hear you properly.

You nod looking at both of the boys who are staring back at you dumbfounded.

“You?” Alex has to check again.

“Yes Alex,” You say, giving him a pointed look.

He just shakes his head at you though, “But Y/N/N, you don't wear dresses.”

You tut, a little offended but Matty defends Alex straight away.

“Don't look like that, he's right,” Matty says, “The last time I saw you in anything near a dress was the skirt you wore at your Eighteenth.” and now you’re 24. It’s been a long while.

You ask a little wide eyed, “Why do you remember that?”

“Fifteen year old me imprinted it into my mind,” Matty grins at you a little suggestively.

You shake your head, trying not to laugh, “I hate you.”

“Love you too,” Matty grins, but then he asks you, “What dress are you wearing?”

You tell him, “A red one to match the bridesmaids, but a short one because I’m not officially a bridesmaid.”

The only bridesmaids were your Mum and your Aunt’s best friend. You were the chosen flower girl which you thought was pretty cute.

“I think, and I'm sure Matty thinks too, that you should go put it on,” Alex suggests trying but failing to hide his grin at the thought of you in a dress.  

You shake your head, automatically saying, “Absolutely not.”

“Why?”

“Because I don't want to ruin it before Friday,” You tell your best friend like he’s stupid.

“Oh come on Y/N/N, I’m not going to get to see it and I've not seen you in a dress for years,” Alex tries to guilt trip you.

You counter argue, “You'll see pictures.”

Alex looks at you completely hurt then and pleads, “Oh come on Angel,” But then he uses your friend for back up. “Matty, you wanna see it too, right?”

Without hesitation Matty agrees, nodding, “Yeah.”

“I hate you both,” You say, clearly not impressed.

“We love you too, now go and get changed,” Alex instructs, waving you back off to your room.

You sigh then looking from the shaggy haired boy to the curly haired one, “Have we even got time?”

Matty grins, “All the time in the world if I get to see you in a dress, Wheels.”

You groan in annoyance then and grab the handle of your suitcase knowing you weren’t going to win this. You try one more time though and ask, “Alex, can’t you settle for a picture?”

“No,” He shakes his head and folds his arms.

You pout and whine, “But I don't wanna get changed.”

“We don't always get what we want,” Alex tells you before nodding towards your bedroom door, “Go on.”

“Fine,” You sigh, but then you give both of them a pointed look when you turn back to say, “But I'm leaving the door open so I can still talk to yous, so don't come over here.”

Matty sake scoffs then, saying, “Don't flatter yourself, we don't wanna see you getting undressed.”

“Okay,” You dryly laugh, “I’ll believe that when we start searching for planes in the sea.” You roll your eyes before you venture into your bedroom.

“So your new album…” Matty asks Alex, “What’s this one called?”

“Suck It And See.”

“Ah right,” Matty grins at what that was alluding to, “Sounds fun.”

Alex laughs, “Yeah it’s an innuendo to us but the politically correct answer to why its called that is that its essentially a ‘fuck you, we arent giving you an album cover, you’ve got to listen to it yourself to judge it.’”

“Ah right,” Matty nods in appreciation, “So I’m assuming the album cover is just gunna say Suck It And See?”

“Yeah,” Alex nods, and he proudly tells him about your input. “She’s already made it.”

“Ah,” Matty smiles, “She’s a gooden.”

Alex nods in agreement before letting that subject drop and revert the questions to his music this time.

“Your shows are getting bigger, right? Got a manager and everything now I hear.” Alex smiles.

Matty nods, “Yeah, got quite a lot coming in the venues back home now.”

“That's good mate,” Alex smiles, “Happy for you.”

“Thanks Pal.”

Alex remembers something else that makes him chuckle a bit as he asks Matty, “I believe your name’s changed again?”

Matty sighs but nods. He then asks your best friend, “She been moaning about it?”

“Oh just a little,” Alex smirks, remembering you seething when you got off the phone with Matty a month or two ago about it before proceeding to rant to Alex about it for an hour that night and over the next few days after that.

Matty knew that was a bigger unstatement than the title of his first puppets album. You’d gone berserk on the phone to him one night when Adam had forced him to call you to tell you.

Or you had until you were told the new name.

“What you called now?” Alex asks, not quite remembering.

“The 1975.”

“Oh right,” Alex nods appreciating the randomness of it.

“It’s good, don’t you think?” You shout out to Alex as you try and awkwardly zip your dress up by yourself.  

“Strange enough that it’s different, but memorable like the Monkeys,” You shout a second later.

Alex shouts back to you, “Yeah it’s certainly different,” but then he turns back to Matty and at a normal volume he asks him, “Where’d you come up with that one?”

“Oh I was going on holiday with my family after Christmas and I went to a charity shop to try and find a book to take. I saw a copy of my favourite book in there and opened it up and I saw that someone had dated the book June first the 1975. Sort of fell in love with it,” Matty explains.

You shout out to him, “Well as long as you don’t change it again, I’ll be in love with it, too.”

“Oh don’t worry it’s not changing now,” Matty shouts back but he looks at Alex when he says it.  

Matty pulls his sleeve up and shows Alex his forearm that had the year 1975 tattooed onto it.

“Well I really hope you don’t change your mind now,” Alex chuckles.

Matty chuckles a little too but shakes his head, “No I won’t. Can’t. Got the tattoo so I wouldn’t be able to.”

“You got it tattooed?” You gasp quickly, slipping your last heel on and doing the small buckle.  

Matty shouts back, “Yeah.”

“What, where?” You ask as you leave your bedroom.  

When you walk out into your lounge though, both men feel their whole body freeze. The only thing they can do is move their eyes to try and take in all of your beauty.

You’re in your dress that was a beautiful shade of blood red. It has spaghetti straps meaning that you’re braless, but that’s okay because the material is thick enough to make sure you’re kept reserved enough for a wedding.

The red dress also had a V neck line meaning that you also got to show off a healthy amount of cleavage. The dress then pinches in at your waist before the skirt comes out a bit and flows down to your mid thigh.

You feel really pretty wearing it and you love the red heels that you have on to match. But the dress isn’t of your concern right now.

You’d walked out of your room to see Matty's tattoo. You walk towards both of the lads and take a hold of Matty’s arm to inspect the new tattoo.

It’s nice. It resides under his Mortal Kombat tattoo and it’s there for anyone and everyone to see.

You like the font that it’s in and the fact it’s a little uneven. But knowing Matty, that would have been how he wanted it.

But you’re staring at his tattoo whilst he and Alex are staring at you.

“I like it, it’s very you,” You smile at him.

But Matty’s just blankly staring at you. He looks as if he’s had a massive shock to his system.

Alex is the first one to actually come out of the silence that had fallen amongst them. He clears his throat before saying in a soft voice, his eyes still taking all your beauty in, “You look stunning, Angel.”

The compliment seems to take Matty out of his daze too and he compliments, “He’s right, you really do, Sweetheart.”

“Oh,” You smile between them, “Thank you.”

You do a little spin then feeling the need to and both boys get a look at your box tattoo on your shoulder blade as your long hair moves from it as you spin. You smile at the both of them when you settle back in your spot to stand normally again, and you say, “Couldn’t really turn up to my Aunt’s wedding looking like a slob, could I?”

“I mean I lived with you for two months and I never thought you were a slob,” Alex says which makes you laugh and you engage them both in conversation for a few minutes.

You’re all laughing and joking but both men can’t take their eyes off of you, your natural beauty just shines through as you’re wearing this stunning dress. And both men silently agree to themselves that your natural long hair pulls even more attention towards you.

Matty was certain he’d be fighting people away from you on Friday.

You just look so fucking stunning it’s unreal.

So much so that Alex can’t let you get changed without getting a picture of you as you are. As you’re about to head back to your bedroom to change, Alex moves himself across the lounge to your shelf and picks up your polaroid camera and quickly flicks it on.

And before you make it near your bedroom Alex manages to get you to turn back around as he’s able to tell you a shit joke to make you laugh. And as soon as he hears the amazing sound that is your laughter, he quickly snaps the picture.

“Alex,” You scorn him, not being ready for a picture at all.  

Alex half heartedly apologises, “Sorry, but you need to remember how pretty you look.”

“I’m going to have pictures done at the wedding,” You tell him.

Alex shrugs not really caring as he starts wafting the polaroid of you before leaving it on the side to develop, “Yeah well one now won’t hurt.”

“Go on,” Matty nods at Alex towards you, “Get in one with her.”

“You not want one?” Alex offers first.

“I’ll get plenty on Friday,” Matty smiles before taking the camera off Alex.

Alex shreds off his leather jacket to reveal a black button up which goes nicely with his blue jeans. You tell him that he looks nice as he stands beside you and he smiles a thank you at you before his arm goes around your waist so the both of you can smile for the picture.

Matty takes that one and when Alex claims it as his own you make him get in another one with you. You end up doing a sillier one this time where you’re both smiling but you’ve both thrown the peace signs up too.

Matty chuckles as he takes it and as soon as it's popped out, he takes it and goes to inspect the other ones on the side that should already be developed. As he does that though you head back to your room, but in your doorway you quickly get Alex’s attention again and get him to unzip your dress.

His breath catches in his throat when he sees your bare skin come into his view, but when the zip stops at the small of your back Alex composes himself when you turn back around towards him to thank him. He gives you another smile and quietly tells you once again that you're beautiful in a way that always makes your heart beat faster.

You smile gratefully at him before you retreat to change once more. You let the two men chat amongst themselves as you elect to change into your comfy clothes this time.

Once ready, you step back into the room with your white dress bag over your shoulder and your suitcase in your other hand. You decided that you wanted to pack the clothes you wanted to wear earlier.

You’re just in your joggers and an old hoodie now.

“You baffle me,” Alex says when he looks at you and Matty is thinking the exact same thing.

You look at them both confused as you stop walking just in front of them. Matty decides to inform you what they’re both thinking.

“How can you still be just as pretty when you change into that?” Matty asks and he sees you go all shy on him which makes him grin.

And if you’re reacting like that to him, Matty knows exactly what that means.

So instantly Matty knows that seeing you dressed like you just were all day was going to be difficult.

Friday was going to be a very long day for him, probably a very hard one too.

~*~*~*~

The week you were back in Manchester you felt like you didn’t get any time with your cousin or his friends. Your Mum and your Aunt were preoccupying you all the time and by Thursday you’d had enough of it.

All you wanted to do was go out with your mates to the skatepark to try and warm yourself up in the cold weather and then come home and order a takeout whilst snuggled up under a blanket.

But no.

You were being pampered left, right, and centre and you hated it. In the week leading up to the wedding, you, your mum, your aunt and her best friend were out being dolled up the entire week.

And they made a full day of each single thing that you had to which you were certain you could have managed to squeeze it all into one day. But no.

Monday, you had your hair trimmed and practice styled. Tuesday, you had to go and get your practice makeup done. Wednesday, you all went and got your nails done, so there was definitely no skateboarding in the picture now. And Thursday, you and the bridesmaids pampered your aunt all day.

So whilst you loved being in Manchester, you did miss your usual activities as all you wanted to do was sit down with Adam, Matty, George, and Ross and watch a film. But no, after your days filled with gossiping with your family you came home to them and practically fell asleep within five minutes of resting.

You intended to stay at Matty’s one night just to catch up with him, not to pursue anything sexual, but as soon as you sat down on the settee back at Adam’s you fell asleep. You woke up the following morning in your bedroom with a text from Matty saying:

Get some more sleep Sweetheart x I’ll see you tomorrow xx

And another from about ten minutes before you woke up saying,

Let me know when you’re up and I’ll sneak you out so we can go and get a Maccies breakfast xx

Matty informed you in the car on the way to McDonald's that after sitting next to him on the settee your head had slowly fallen to his shoulder where you passed out completely and Matty wasn’t one to deprive you of anything, especially your sleep. He knew how grouchy you could be if you didn’t get enough of it.

George had apparently carried you up to bed and Matty stuck around for a few hours just in case you woke up, but you were out like a light. Waking up to those texts was really cute though and you really enjoyed your secret breakfast with him.

When Friday came around you were actually quite excited because you knew you’d actually get to spend most of the day with some of your closest friends. You loved your Mum and Aunt to death but it had been overkill the past week.

Getting your nails done for the wedding you admit was fun whilst it was being done and for about a day afterwards but after a while the red acrylics started to get on your nerves. You found it more difficult to hold a pencil or your paintbrush so when you tried to be creative you had to hold back from adding the finer details of your work. The last thing you’d want is to ruin it.

But, it's your Aunt and Uncle's wedding. They are practically your adopted Mum and Dad so you can let this one slide. You’re not meant to be focussing on anything but the wedding anyway.

When Friday finally hits, you get yourself up ridiculously early to prepare yourself for the day. After waking up at 5:30 the first thing you did was shave your legs, making sure you didn’t miss a spot the day they were going to be on show.

It’s been cold and rainy a lot this summer and you didn’t have a boyfriend so you just thought fuck it and you hadn’t shaved them in a long while. It was a miracle you’d shaved them the night before Alex and Matty made you try the dress on last week and you’d only done that because you wanted to make sure it still fit you and you wanted to feel good whilst you were in it.

By 6 you’d eaten your breakfast and prepared everyone else's. You girls had your Aunt and Uncle's house to yourselves last night, as you’d all shipped the lads somewhere else for the night.

Thankfully though, you’re getting your makeup and hair done first because you're going to be the first out of the house. You're the flower girl so you should have been going with the bridal party but your Aunt didn’t trust her soon to be husband or her son to get there on time to see guests in so she was sending you to them to make sure they left on time.

So as soon as all the girls were ready and the photographer got pictures of you with your Aunt and your Mum, you were on your way. It's a little chilly outside but it’s nothing you can’t handle and it's still fairly early so the sun hasn't fully risen yet.

You get a taxi to meet the boys and you're pleasantly surprised to find everyone there and pretty much ready to go. Your Uncle is in his suit, his best mate (and best man) seems to have taken control and got everyone ready.

Your Uncle looks amazing in his dapper suit. It’s a black suit with a white shirt and black waistcoat and there’s a red rose pinned to his blazer obviously to match the wedding flowers and colours of the bridesmaids.

The best man's suit is fairly similar and so is Adam’s as the page boy. Your Uncle tells you that you look fantastic and he quietly says that he wishes your dad could see how beautiful you are today, something which makes your heart a little heavy but you keep yourself smiling and you give him a hug.

After making sure the adults are all good and ready to go, you move along to your friends. Your Aunt and Uncle had obviously invited the other three boys to their wedding because they practically lived in the Hann Household.

The day just wouldn’t be the same without them.

You go into the back room and find them all sitting there. Adam in his black suit with a white shirt, Ross in a navy suit and white shirt, George in a black suit and a black shirt, and your Curly is dressed in a grey suit and a black shirt.

Except his hair isn’t curly today which makes you pout. He’s gelled it back so it’s smooth and completely out of his face.

“Where’s your hair gone?” You ask, looking at Matty when you walk into the room a little more.

That‘s when everyone notices you, and just like the first time Matty saw you in that dress, he finds himself lost for words again today. You look absolutely stunning.

Your hair is down and loosely curled and it falls to just under your boobs, which also look really nice today. Your long legs are once again on show today and they somehow look better than they did the other day.

Your makeup has been done professionally today though and Matty thinks it just adds to you looking gorgeous. You have a slight winged eyeliner that’s smoked out at the end, but you have a shimmer on your lids that Matty can see whenever you blink.

And holy fuck. Your lipstick.

It’s a matte blood red that matches your dress perfectly. It draws Matty’s gaze to you and it’s almost hypnotic.

He never wants to look away. It’s as if you’ve made a television with your mouth that’s playing a film that had been perfectly created to Matty’s liking. He’d watch your lips like he was watching True Romance, his favourite film to watch with you.

“Fuck me Y/N, you look fit as fuck,” George says with his jaw practically agape, causing you to let out a loud laugh, which brings Matty out of his daze.

“You look very handsome Georgie,” You say before taking the seat between him and Matty.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dress before,” Ross says and you nod.

You chuckle a little, “You and me both.”

“Think you should wear them more often,” Matty says, sending you a cheeky glance whilst eyeing the end of the material that lies a little higher up your thigh when you’re sat down, showing off more of your gorgeous skin.

“Ha, you would,” You giggle, shaking your head a little.

“Bro,” You say, getting Adam’s attention and he looks round at you with raised eyebrows. “Where’s your rose?”

“Shit,” Adam says, getting up, “Left it upstairs, thanks B.”

You shake your head, feeling like a mother and you double check that the lads have everything with them like their wallets and car keys so you can all get to the church and then to the outskirts of Cheshire, where the hotel is located for the reception.

After another ten minutes, you’re getting conscious of the time and you feel the need to start getting everyone moving, knowing everyone would get a flap on soon and start rushing around. But today, you just want everything to be perfect and getting there early is definitely going to be the way to ease those nerves for you.

“Right, come on everyone. Time to go to the church,” You clap your hands twice as you stand up and you usher everyone up.

After five minutes of everyone scattering, you’d get the groom and the best man in the car and they’re off to the church. The boys lag behind a little but they have cars to take themselves so it isn’t that big of a deal.

But soon enough it’s you locking up the best man’s house and Matty standing in the hall waiting for you as the others are waiting in the car. Matty obviously keeps the front door closed as it’s October and still chilly despite the weather forecast saying it was going to be getting warmer later in the day.

You double check the guys haven’t missed anything and you’re pleased to see they haven't, so you made your way to the front door.

Matty’s watching you and he can tell straight away that you’re living in your head. As if you’re talking to yourself, silently running through a checklist like the organised person you are.

But knowing you, you’d scorn yourself for not enjoying the day like you’re meant to. So Matty elects to bring you out of your head.

He calls, “Wheels.”

You look up at him then and it seems to snap you out of your thoughts. Matty is about to tell you to relax but you seem to have diverted your thoughts before he has a chance too.  

“Hey, we match,” You grin, looking down at Matty’s tie.

You walk to him and run your fingers over the blood red material. You smile seeing it’s literally the exact same shade as your lipstick and your dress.

“We do,” Matty smiles at the feeling of your hand on his chest. But he can't bring himself to look at it as he’s still mesmerised by your pretty face, “Got to love a coincidence.”

“We love a happy accident,” You grin looking into his brown eyes.

Matty chuckles and pulls you into a hug saying, “Alright Bob Ross.”

You hug him back as you giggle at his joke. You’d made the guys watch Bob Ross with you many times and ‘happy accident’ was one of the phrases he liked to use and the guys liked to make fun of.

“You look stunning, Sweetheart,” Matty half whispers as if it’s a secret that he only wants you to know.

He’d happily scream it from the rooftops though.

“Thank you,” You grin, tucking your hair behind your ear as you tell him, “You look very dapper yourself, even with your hair gelled back.”

Matty laughs a little before saying, “Thanks gorgeous.”

“Come on,” You pat his chest. “We’ve gotta go.”

Matty nods then and the both of you make sure the latch is on the door, ensuring it’d lock behind the both of you. After setting the alarm, you both get outside and see that all the cars except for Matty’s Mums (that he was borrowing to get him to the church today) are all gone.

It seems that you’d both been taking too long and the other boys went in Adam’s car.

“Oh,” You say, looking at the practically empty drive. You turn to Matty and grin, “Well, I guess I'm going with you.”

~*~*~*~

Thankfully everything goes very smoothly when you get to the church. You babysit your Uncle and the best man at the door whilst they play very good hosts to the guests starting to filter in.

You also keep an eye on the boys sitting in the front of the church and make sure they aren’t messing around. You know what they’re like, but thankfully they are keeping on their best behaviour.

However, the cheekier lot of the bunch is doing everything in his power to tease you. After you walk down the aisle, dropping petals to the floor just before the beautiful bride herself walks down, you sit yourself down next to Adam, in front of the other boys who are sitting behind you.

You’re on the end of the row near the wall and you know Matty is directly behind you. Your hair must have fallen over the back of the wooden bench when you sat down because you  can feel him twisting it around his fingers. It’s nice at first once you realise what’s happening and that it isn’t a spider crawling on you.

But during the boring bits of the ceremony you can feel him doing things like halfheartedly plaiting your hair, before then tugging the strands free so they aren’t in a plait anymore. The only time he stops is when you turn to stand up to sing the hymn and you turn around and give him a knowing look.

Matty just playfully grins at you and you can tell he’s biting his tongue, trying not to laugh. But when you turn, you see that the other lads next to him must have been watching him too as the boys are also on the verge of bursting out laughing.

You want to laugh at that point then too but you just need to make it though the wedding itself and the rest of the day can be spent messing about. So when you sit back down after the song, you bring your hair over your shoulder so it all falls on one side of your chest.

You think he would have stopped with his teasing but apparently not. Matty instead must have been sitting forwards because you can feel his hot breath on the back of your neck.

And the sensation drives you insane.

You can feel him on you yet you never actually feel him. You know he’s right there but not doing anything and that’s somehow worse.

This being because you aren’t sure he knows what he’s doing. He used to linger behind your neck before pressing a kiss to it.

So this is torture for you. And to make it worse, the other lads won’t even know he’s doing it.

After all, he’s just breathing.

But you know it’s not just breathing. He’s teasing you, and he’ll know you like it.

The teasing doesn’t end after the ceremony either as you all end up in the back of Adam’s car after Matty drops his back off at his house. The five of you are going to be entitled to the free bar tonight which is lovely of your Aunt and Uncle to offer, so Tim had offered to pick up the lads who aren’t staying at the hotel.

George has the excuse of being in the passenger seat of Adam’s car because he’s the tallest. So that means that you, Ross and Matty have to squeeze into the back of Adam’s tiny Vauxhall Corsa.

Matty being the skinny bastard he is, goes in the middle with you and Ross on either side of him. It’s still a tight squeeze for the three of you but you make it work.

That didn’t stop Matty from being a little tease though. If anything, the close proximity adds to it.

Because he doesn’t have any arm room, he elects to rest the arm that’s closest to you down on your knee. And whilst you think nothing of it, as it’s more soothing to you than anything, it still makes you feel hyper aware that he’s there.

At one point during the journey, you get really uncomfortable so you turn towards Matty a little letting your knee rest over his and you put your head down on his shoulder too. You’re essentially curled up against him and you want to rest your eyes for the rest of the drive.

This obviously causes your dress to rise up your leg an inch or two more so you truly aren’t that surprised when Matty places his hand on your thigh after about five minutes. However, there was no way you’re getting to sleep with his fingertips slowly moving up and down your leg.

And Matty continues to have you on edge when you all get to the hotel. He stands with you whilst waiting for pictures and whilst you all get drinks, but his arm is around your waist with his hand resting a little lower on your back than it should be.

The pictures that you get together and with the rest of the family are so cute, and you like that Matty keeps you close at all times. You all make full use of the photographer and get pictures of the five of you.

You and Adam get one, as instructed to by your Mum and your Aunt. But Matty requests one with just you and you end up getting a few together.

One of you standing with your arms around each other, one of the both of you being silly and posing doing the peace sign, and another of you both laughing.

He doesn’t even let up his flirting when you all sit down for the meal. You’re sitting at a round table that’s opposite the bride and groom’s long table and you’re sitting between Matty and Adam.

Ross is next to Adam while George is next to Matty and your Mum is sat opposite you.

Matty flirts with you throughout the whole meal, sending you knowing looks, feeding you some of his food, and telling loads of jokes making both you and your Mum laugh. He’s a proper sweet talker, you can tell that your Mum loves him already.

You’d all been giggling along throughout the meal with your Mum telling her stories. She’d even told some of your childhood stories that you silently scorn her for.

Especially when she tells a story about how you’d had a childhood crush when you were about seven on one of your neighbours kids. Apparently he was about 19 and he had brown curly hair which Matty seems to find particularly hilarious.

Matty even slides his chair over to yours some more so he can tease you by taking the piss that you’d gone for him, saying you’ve had a type all along. Matty even goes as far to say that he’s your dream guy.

Of course you play back and shoot him down, not wanting his ego to get too big. You like seeing if he can take what he’s giving, and you’re pleased to see his cheeks go red when you give him some back.

The meal goes smoothly and before you know it the desserts are being served. You’d ordered chocolate cake and ice cream and you’re so excited for it, you haven’t stopped going on about looking forward to your dessert for the entire meal.

And when it arrives, you definitely seem to be enjoying it, despite claiming to be full from your main not too long ago.

Matty finishes his cheesecake within a few minutes; He then sheds off his grey waistcoat before reaching around to his blazer that’s hanging off the back of his chair and he pulls out his phone.

He’s on his phone for a few minutes until George takes his attention once more. Adam’s already got up after finishing his dessert and headed to his parents who were shouting him over.

Matty puts his phone down just between the two of you as he partakes in George and Ross’ conversation whilst your Mum is scorning you for struggling to finish your dessert. Matty silently laughs though, watching you power through the dessert, not letting it defeat you.

When Matty’s conversation with his friends turns into a loud spell of laughter, Matty turns back towards you a little. But as the brunette does that, his elbow knocks his phone to the floor.

After apologising to you, making sure it didn’t hit you as it bounced under the table, Matty ducks himself under the table to retrieve the device. He spots it not too far from your feet and he reaches for it.

But when he brings his hand back, Matty brushes the smooth skin on your leg when he pulls his phone back up from the floor. Matty notes that he’s made you jump so he genuinely apologises, “Sorry Wheels.”

You remove the spoon from your mouth and swallow the ice cream before saying, “It’s alright.”

But the way you said it made Matty second guess everything. It sounded encouraging, which he didn’t get because he didn’t set out to touch you.

Matty then read between the lines then and came to the conclusion that you were ‘alright’ with it because you wanted his hands on you. So he takes his chance a minute later and touches your leg again.

And you don’t jump at all this time when Matty’s little finger brushes the side of your leg, and because of that Matty gives you one more attempt to shy away from him when he lets his hand linger beside your leg. You surprise Matty after that though because you actually nudge your leg against his hand.

So Matty then doesn’t hesitate to rest his hand on your thigh and you don't hesitate to move slightly closer to him despite you still eating your dessert. Matty sneaks a glance at you then and he notices that your lips are now back to their normal colour as the food you’d eaten must have played a part in your lipstick coming off, along with the napkin you’d been using.

But in this moment your beautiful lips show your slight amusement at the situation you’re in. You’re sitting with Matty’s hand trailing the inside of your thigh in the back of the room and you feel like you’re on fire.

Especially when after a minute, he starts moving his hand up.

Your dress goes higher up your leg with every movement of his hand. And the thoughts of your dessert that’s still in front of you, become more distant.

You didn’t want to give into his teasing though. You want to eat your chocolate cake in peace, and then he can do whatever.

But you also want him to carry on. You like his adventurous, bordering on dangerous, nature.

You’ve never done anything as risky as this especially in such a formal setting. So you let him have his fun as you're trying to eat, even giving him more access to tease you.

Upon reaching the last piece of cake, you can’t bring yourself to eat it because Matty’s hand is brushing over your underwear and it makes your stomach drop. You know no one can see you because the circular table is in the corner of the room just opposite the bride and groom's.

Adam wasn’t at risk from seeing anything because his Mum and Dad had called him over to talk to them. George and Ross are too focused on their conversation, and Matty joins in every now and again, so no one suspects anything.

“Are you okay Y/N?” Your Mum pulls you out of your haze of thoughts about Matty’s fingers ever so slightly teasing you.

You’ve gone hot and you can feel it as you glance up from your cake that you’ve apparently been staring at for god knows how long. But you can’t look at Matty or your act would go straight out of the window.

“I don’t feel very good,” You say, swallowing down the feelings Matty was instilling in your body as he teases you over the thin material.

“I told you not to eat all the cake if you couldn’t handle it,” Your Mum chuckles over the table, “You never can.”

You give her a halfhearted smile, and chuckle, “Yeah.”

“You need a drink or anything Y/N? Some water?” Matty offers you in an innocent manner.

You look and can see the mischief in his eyes as he keeps the smirk off his face though. His fingers add a little more pressure as he teases you over the lacy material. He likes seeing your eyes go wide and he’s the cause of it.  

You rest your hand over his, trying to get him to stop moving his fingers which he thankfully slows them as you speak to your Mum. That didn’t stop him from moving his fingertips ever so slightly every ten seconds though.

Matty knows you didn’t want him to stop. You could have easily pushed his hand away in the position that you were in. But you didn’t.

You wanted him there. Teasing you.

He knows you want him just as much as he wants you. He can see it in your eyes.

“I’m good, thank you Matty,” You say a little shakily, but only your usually curly haired brunette picks up on that.

After another few minutes of torture, you can’t take it anymore. Your Mum keeps talking to you and you can’t deal with that whilst Matty’s hand is there.

“I’m going to be sick,” You lie to your mother across the table.

You push Matty’s hand away but cling to his shoulder when you stand, giving it a prominent squeeze as you get up silently telling him to follow you.

You rush out and your Mum looks at you with worried eyes. She goes to stand up but Matty quickly does so instead.

“I’ll make sure she’s okay, don’t worry. You see to your sister,” Matty tells your Mum as he puts his napkin down on the table, nodding towards your Aunt trying to get her sister's attention.

“Thank you Matty,” She smiles gratefully, “You’re a lifesaver.”

Unsuspecting to your Mum though, Matty aims to make sure you’re okay in an entirely different way.

Instead of holding your hair back in the toilet you brought him into, Matty is pulling on it to keep you trapped in a kiss. You feel like it has been forever since your tongue has met his.

So you’re savouring every moment with him. Matty excites you like no other person ever has done.

You can’t imagine letting any other person do to you what Matty had just done at the table. He’s cheeky and almost too confident for his own good and you love that about him.

Both of you know exactly where this is going at this point because as soon as you’re both in the posh empty bathroom, Matty locks the door behind him. He ushers you against the sink where you can sit and you don’t hesitate in doing so.

The cold surface underneath you probably would’ve made you jump if Matty wasn’t taking up all of your attention like he so easily does every time you’re in his presence. His lips are on yours, his hands roaming everywhere like he owns you.

And in this moment he practically does.

After a minute of getting off with him, Matty’s lips start trailing down your jaw and neck where he starts sucking and nipping on your skin. You give yourself a few seconds to enjoy that sensation again while your fingers are laced in Matty’s hair but you can’t let him continue.

“No,” You breath heavily pulling on the back of his hair. “No marks on my neck or my chest. No.”

Yes, you love it but you can’t deal with trying to hide them today. Especially when you’ve already been pictured without them.

If you were found with them later, you’d never live it down.

“Okay,” Matty says, kissing his way down your chest before he drops to his knees so he's at the perfect height to go down on you.

You breathe out a, “Matty,” but it sounds to him as more of a scorn than it did a pleasured moan. He’s kissing up your legs when you protest again but he has an answer for everything.

“No one but me is going to see the inside of your thighs, Sweetheart,” Matty says before his head completely disappears under the skirt of your dress.

As he kisses your thighs he also tugs on your underwear which Matty can see is lacy and red. Once you lift yourself up a little for him to pry them off easily, you watch as he pockets them as you feel his lips get closer and closer to where you want them.

“Matty,” He hears you moan quietly, obviously trying to encourage him but also control your volume.

He really wants to carry on teasing you, but again, who’s he to deny you whatever you desire?

You have to bite your tongue to stop the loud moans you want to let out as Matty starts going down on you. Your fingers are pulling tightly on his gelled hair as he does so, needing something to hold onto whilst he doesn’t let up on the pleasure he’s building inside you.

You soon realise that you aren’t after the foreplay today though. He’s works you up enough by being a tease all fucking day.

“Matty, I need you now,” You tell him and you're thankful that a few seconds later he gets up off his knees.

Your hands immediately go to his shirt, pulling it out of his pants as his lips attack yours once again. You both can’t help but moan against the others lips and Matty’s get a little louder when you make quick work of the clothes on the lower half of his body.

Before you know it, Matty’s pants are around his ankles and he’s tearing open a condom with his teeth that he quickly retrieved from his wallet. You tease him a little, your hand working him up as if he wasn’t already hard.

It seems like you both aren’t in the mood for teasing today though because as soon as the condom’s on, no more time is wasted. You want him inside you as much as he wants to be there.

An effort is made for you to both keep as quiet as you can. So it’s just the sound of your skin hitting together that fills your ears in the posh bathroom. Filthy sounds really, but it just turns the both of you on even more.

Your lips rarely part so you both feel each other's moans on your tongues as you kiss. Although, sometimes this is hard because the pace had been set pretty fast and Matty isn’t messing about.

Your dress is bunched up high around your waist with Matty holding it at the back, making sure it doesn’t go in the sink behind you. Your legs are locked around him meaning that each thrust he gives you is sharp and deep, so it hits that spot inside you over and over again.

The porcelain basin behind you is pressing into your back harder with each thrust of Matty’s and somehow that adds to it because you’re pressed against him. You truly feel like you’re just made for each other, he just feels so good and everything about him in general just makes you feel like you never have before.

Each thrust from him is feeling better than the last, meaning that you don’t give a fuck about the porcelain digging into your lower back. You confirm in your mind that it’s definitely adding to the whole thing because you couldn’t move backwards, especially with your legs wrapped around him too.

When you reach your orgasm, you’re thankful that you have Matty’s lips on your own to muffle the moan that spills from your lips. Your lips also contain his groan upon feeling you clench around him until he finds his own release.

Your legs are still shaking around Matty’s waist when he finally stops thrusting. You cling to him to try and get your mind to come back around to you. It'd been a long time since an orgasm left you like that.

He’s actually mind blowing, because all you can do is rest your forehead against his shoulder as you return back to a normal headspace.

“Sweetheart, breathe,” Matty says softly, kissing the side of your head.

You hadn’t realised you’d stopped doing so. When you lift your head back up to look at the brunette you see that he looks just as fucked as you probably do.

Only when you stop shaking does Matty pull out of you. You sit on the side for a moment longer, your skirt falling back down covering you, as you watch Matty dispose of the condom and make himself presentable again.

After a few seconds, Matty comes back over to you and takes your hand, encouraging you to get to find your feet once more. Thankfully you’re steady on them when you do, or you are when you’re not moving in these heels.

“Fuck Sweetheart, you look so fucking good right now,” Matty grins taking a step back looking at you, your gaze still a bit fucked out and Matty likes knowing he’s the cause of it.

Your gaze runs down his body and you find him so sexy in today's attire that you don’t even hesitate to say, “So do you.”

You step into his arms again and get another kiss. A little sigh falls from Matty’s lips at you being in his arms one again and he feels you hum against his lips.

When you pull away, you stay close to him and ask, “Are you going to stop teasing me now?”

Matty smirks, “You don’t want me to do that.”

He knows you far too well.

“No I don’t,” You grin, telling him what you know he wants to hear.

However, you get a little serious when you say, “But you can’t do everything again because we can’t do this again today.”

Your instructions are a little somber as your hands run through his hair, sorting out the mess you'd made. You smooth back all his hair and Matty savours the feeling of you being so close.

“I know,” Matty gives you a sad little smile but you were both painfully aware of where you are.

Escaping for a quickie in the bathroom was only possible because you made a good actress and could lie like it was second nature. You knew you’d have to act when you went back out as well, but you weren’t thinking about that right now.

You’re thinking about the once again mindblowing sex you’d just had with the boy that made your heart beat faster. The boy that looks at you like you’re the only girl in the world and the warm feeling that fills your chest is like something you’ve not experienced in a long time.

“How are you so good every time?” You ask a little breathlessly as you wrap your arms around his neck, wanting him close.

Matty chuckles a little at your confession before suggesting, “I think it’s just how we work, Sweetheart. You blow my mind.”

Matty’s lips find yours once again and he kisses you sweetly. It's soft and simple and serves the purpose as you both smile into it.

You pull away from him for a minute knowing you need to head back out to everyone else soon though. And when you tell him that, Matty takes your hand and tries to lead you towards the door.

You pull him back to you though.

“Are you okay?” Matty asks as he turns back to you, holding you a little tighter seeing you shakily take the step towards him to stop him from leaving.

“I’m trying to walk in heels about a minute after an orgasm, Matty,” You tell him. “I can barely stand up straight.”

He grins at you then, “You need me to stay and escort you out?”

“No,” You shake your head, “I need you to give me my underwear back.”

“You’re no fun, Sweetheart,” Matty shakes his head a little, trying to suppress his smile.

You scoff a little then, stating, “We just fucked in the toilets at my Aunt's wedding. If that doesn’t class as fun, I don’t know what does.”

Matty grins at you then before reaching into his pocket and retrieving the red lace.

“Thank you,” You say, taking them from him before you turn to head to the closest of the empty cubicles.

“I’ll wait outside for you,” Matty tells you and you smile showing your gratitude.

At least him waiting outside would help persuade people that you are actually ill. Or to anyone who didn’t know you were ‘sick’ anyway, it wouldn’t look suspicious.

After making yourself presentable again, you make your way out to Matty. You find him not too far from the doors and he lets you link his arm as you walk back towards the function room door.

“Are you sure you can walk?” Matty teases.

“Matty, I’m fine,” You chuckle, “Now watch me win an Oscar.”

Going back inside Matty thinks you play the role very well. If he hadn't just been with you, he’d have believed you’d just been sick as well.

You’re really good at acting. You even went as far as to ask your Mum for yours and Adam’s room key so you could brush your teeth. (Yes your annoying family had made you share a room with your cousin, that was the reason you didn’t fuck Matty upstairs).

You disappear out of the room for about ten minutes when you go to ‘brush your teeth’ and the way your Mum and Aunt fawn over you when you come back makes Matty chuckle. You have to nudge him at one point to make him stop.

But soon enough, the lies cease and the day moves on. It’s time for the speeches.

Yours and Adam’s Grandad start the speeches off as he’s of course the father of the bride. He tells a lot of funny and embarrassing stories about your mum and your aunt growing up and they make you laugh as you don’t know some of them yourself.

Even when your grandma steals the microphone for a minute to wish her daughter all the luck in the world, it makes you giggle. As if your Aunt hadn’t been with your Uncle since way before they had Adam 21 years ago.

The speeches then move along to the grooms and your Uncle is doing an excellent job of making everyone laugh, as he’s a really funny guy. Your Uncle is one of your favourite people on the planet, you hope he’d walk you down your own aisle one day as he had been the father figure for most of your life.

Your Uncle has made everyone laugh, he embarrassed your Aunt which was really funny to see. She was always the cool one and doing the same to him, so he was definitely getting his own back now.

The only thing left to do was make people cry. And he was succeeding.

“There’s unfortunately a couple of important people missing here today,” Your Uncle says and you know what’s about to come, and you aren't entirely sure you’re ready for it.

“And those people are the ones who should be here the most,” Your Uncle smiles down at his wife and she takes his hand and you see her thumb caress his skin which seems to help him carry on.

“I know me and my lovely wife would love nothing more than our brother-in-law to be here with us today... He was truly one of the best... The best friend I could have ever asked for and he was taken from all of us, especially his lovely wife and daughter, far too soon,” Your uncle continues and a ball quickly forms in your throat.

You smile at your Uncle and then glance to your Mum and see that her eyes have welled up which subsequently makes yours do the same. As you offer your Mum a smile, which she returns, you feel someone take your hand.

And when you follow the action, your hand lies in a certain curly haired brunette's, and he offers you the warmest smile which you didn’t know you needed until right now.

When you reached your early teens, you finally understood what experiences you’d missed out on because your dad had passed away when you were five. You’d learned to get your emotions out when you needed to and you learned to keep them at bay for your Mum’s sake.

So, it wasn’t often anymore that you thought about your Dad and got emotional, but when you did think of him and you’re surrounded by family, it did upset you.

You always felt like there was a missing piece, and today was one of those days. So when Matty offered you that support you took it and squeezed his hand back.

When you glance back at your Uncle he smiles at you and you blow him a kiss which he seems to appreciate. He continues to talk about your dad a little bit, saying he was in the room with everyone now and your Uncle says some really lovely things about him missing out being able to dance with you looking beautiful today, which makes you tear up but you promised your Uncle that he could dance with you.

You do have to wipe away a few stray tears after that moment, all while Matty is there to comfort you and you also feel Adam’s hand on your shoulder letting you know he’s there for you too. You really appreciated everything that your Uncle has said about your Dad and whilst he was speaking you lace your fingers with Matty for that extra comfort that you crave.

The speech moves on past the section that involved your Dad and you listen to your Uncle's anecdotes about when he met your Aunt and your Mum. The stories are really funny and the speech is amazing.

Matty’s hand never leaves yours throughout it all, unlike Adam’s eventually left your back, which you’re thankful to Matty for. He keeps his thumb moving across your skin and you’re so grateful for that.

Every so often he gives your hand a squeeze which you know is a silent ‘are you okay?’ and each time you give him a longer squeeze back confirming that you are.

By the end of the speech, your hand is in his lap and Matty’s other hand is on top of your clasped ones, again tracing soothing patterns onto your skin. When the time comes to clap you don’t let go of his hand either.

Both you and Matty elect to clap one handed on your thighs and during the clap your Uncle smiles at you and you stop clapping to blow him a kiss.

Before Matty can ask if you’re okay the Best Man’s speech starts which is actually hilarious. However, your heart feels heavy so your hand stays in Matty’s until that speech finishes too.

“You okay?” Matty asks in a quiet voice.

“Yeah,” You smile, giving his hand a squeeze, “Thank you.”

Matty just smiles at you then before his other hand comes up to your face and he tells you to look up which you do. His hand is on your cheek as his thumb runs underneath your eye.

Your suspicions of what he was doing were confirmed when he explains, “Your mascara smudged a little.”

You chuckle then just thinking he’s the cutest person in the entire world. You quickly cup his face in your other hand and pull him in for a quick kiss which Matty returns with a little smile on his lips.

“Thank you,” You say, giving his hand another squeeze before you both have to stand up and head out of the room.

The herd of people head out of the room so the staff can clear up and set the room up for the evening’s festivities.

You’re then whisked away from your new safety harness and roped into more photos with your family. After about half an hour of having pictures and waiting for them to need you, you finally escape back to your boys.

Matty makes sure you’re okay again and he gets you another amaretto like you’d been drinking all afternoon. You thank him and you stick with your boys until the room is prepared for the evening party and you are all called back in.

You all watch as the bride and groom dance along to a cheesy love song that you know your Aunt loves and you think she looked gorgeous dressed in white. She’s truly so beautiful and you can see a lot of your Mum in her.

It makes you think how beautiful your Mum and Dad would have been on their wedding day. Of course you’d seen pictures of the occasion, but this moment you were witnessing now just makes you think of how your Mum and Dad would have danced.

You wish you were there to see it but that wasn’t the case. You came along almost exactly nine months later.

There is dancing for a little while that you don’t really want to take part in so you sit down and joke around with your boys for a good hour before George suggests heading outside to the grand patio area that the hotel had and getting high.

Of course, no one objected to this. In fact, you’re the first up.

Adam gets lost in the crowd on the way out but when he shows back up again, not too long later he’s pleading with Matty to save some because apparently your Aunt caught you all through the window and drunkenly wants some for herself. This revelation makes you giggle as you don’t really believe it.

You just think Adam wants some for himself.

However it turns out to be true because Adam comes back after a minute, saying that you can’t not save some because his Mum is threatening him to cry on her wedding day.

Matty still doesn’t seem to believe him though as the both of you are just sharing it.

But your cousin doesn’t stop going on about it for the next five minutes and it gets to the point were Matty snaps, “Hann fuck off... I only brought three and me and Wheels are having one. George stole one, and me and Wheels are having the other one later.”

The death stare your cousin sends him then is a little scary, even for your standards.

“What are you looking at me like that for?” Matty doesn’t back down, taking another drag, “I didn’t expect your Mum to wanna get high on her wedding day.”

Adam throws back, “Well you don’t have to be selfish and have two.”

You try not to laugh as you take the spliff from Matty and bring it to your lips once more. You like the way it makes you relax and you’re slightly happy Matty is defending your other one for later.

“Hann,” Matty says, trying to bite back his annoyed tone, “We’re gunna have to ask about, considering I’m the only one who thought to bring the weed.”

You leave the squabbling boys to themselves though when you spot your Aunt wondering outside through the door a bit further down from the one you. You call her over to you and you walk towards the table not too far from the boys to sit with her.

“Hey,” You giggle, watching her take a seat, “Did you want to just have a drag or get super high?”

“Just a drag,” Your Aunt giggles up at you. “Takes me back to when your Mum used to bring some home with her and we’d sneak it away from your Grandma and get high in the car.”

You let out a loud laugh at that knowing that is what Adam and the boys do a lot of the time. You let her have a drag of the spliff as you turn to your cousin and giggle, “Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree Hann.”

The bride offers you the spliff back and once it’s trapped between your fingers you think it through, knowing there’s only about two drags left. You don't want fights about it but you also want to be generous to your Aunt.

“You can have the end of this,” You say to your Aunt, bringing the spliff closer to your lips, but your grin at Matty as you say it, despite him standing a few meters away from you.

Looking back at your Aunt you tell her, “I’ll share my last drag,” before taking it and holding your breath, before handing it over.

She grins up at you and quietly scorns, “Will you just get with the poor boy already? His eyes haven’t left you all day.”

If only she knew.

You just grin at her and shake your head warningly, silently telling her to ‘shut up’. You love your Aunt to pieces but you don’t want or feel the need to overthink things like that when you are around Matty.

You make your way over to him and grin. You point to your mouth so he knows what you're up to and when his lips move down to yours he takes his shotgun kiss.

Soon enough though it just turns into a real kiss as his hands rest on your hips, pulling you into him a little more and your hands are resting on his chest. You should be surprised when he tries to deepen it, but you aren’t.

In fact, you encourage it until you remember that you reapplied your lipstick when you went upstairs earlier.

You pull back when he gets a little too into it, warning him, “Watch my lipstick.”

“So many rules, Sweetheart,” Matty grins, shaking his head a little.

But he doesn’t seem to care that much because he just pulls you further into him and kisses your lips once more. Matty savours the feeling, as he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to get enough of you. When he pulls away, he makes you laugh.

“How do you still taste like chocolate when we’ve had a spliff?” Matty questions completely baffled by you.

It was all he could taste earlier when you were both in the bathroom.

Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate.

And now that taste was confusing him with the smell of the weed too. It was sort of morphing into the same thing.  

You just giggle, ignore the question and attach your lips to his once more.  

~*~*~*~

“Dance with me?” Matty asks you when you’re both standing in the room with the dancefloor watching the couples, including your Aunt and Uncle, slow dancing.

Your eyes go a little wide at Matty’s question, “I don’t know how to dance.”

“Neither do I, but we’ll figure it out,” Matty grins, grabbing your hand and pulling you to him.

He moves you onto the dancefloor and he holds your hip and your hand like a ballroom dancer and rests your other hand on his shoulder.

You slowly dance to the acoustic version of James Blunt’s 1973 which you find quite cute because of how close the year is to his band name. But maybe you just find that amusing because of how many drinks you’d had.

You definitely wouldn’t have agreed to dance with anyone sober. But you’re entitled to the free bar and so was Matty.

It’s past 9 p.m. now and he’d split more of your amaretto than you would ever usually allow when you were paying for your own drinks. But you’d definitely drunk a lot more than he’d spilled, meaning that you would’ve been very easily persuaded to dance, even if it wasn’t the boy who you may or may not have had a crush on who asked you.

You dance close to each other, to the point where there is no room between you. You’re just clutching each other, loving the intimate moment and you don’t even feel the need to speak as the song plays.

You just sway together and you try to remember every little second of this. You like dancing in Matty’s arms. You like him holding you close like you’re his.

Truthfully you don’t want the moment to end. You like feeling the little kisses he places on your neck and you find that your whole body tingles when he compliments you.

“You look stunning,” He whispers in your ear.  

You can't contain your grin so you’re thankful that your cheek is pressed against his and he can’t see it. You compliment him back, “You look really good too.”

And he truly does. His black shirt had long been untucked from his grey pants now and the loose red tie with the buttons undone just makes him even more attractive to you. The hair starting to fall a little even does it for you too.

“But you honestly just look...  Wow,” Matty says, not being able to find a better word.

You grin and whisper a, “Thank you,” as the song fades and a familiar one comes on.

You can’t help but ask your Curly a question then as it’s your favourite song.

I’m Yours by Jason Mraz.

“Did you ask for this song to be put on?” You grin, looking at him as you both start swaying a little bit faster to the new beat.

Matty grins back saying, “Maybe.”

“Did you learn it for me?” You ask curiously.

About two months ago, you asked him on the phone if he would learn it and play it for you at some point. This time you’d been in Manchester you hadn’t had any alone time so you weren’t sure if he had learnt it or not.

But of course, your Curly comes though, “I did.”

You can't hide the smile on your face at that point. You just dance and both softly sing along to the song. And every so often Matty kisses your neck before he carries on singing into your ear.

Yeah, the song is an older one, but you rediscovered it at the beginning of the year and you just love it so much. So for months, you’d been playing it on repeat in your headphones endlessly whilst you painted or created some other form of art.

As the post chorus comes along you feel Matty's lips on your neck again and you smile at the feeling as you carry on moving together to your favourite song.

The post chorus is your favourite bit because it feels like an intimate sort of moment that you were intruding on. So after the little skat that Mraz sings you can’t help but continue to sing just as loud.

“And I will nibble your ear,” You sing along with Jason Mraz, but as you do, you feel Matty do exactly that to you.

The giggle you let out then can’t be contained and Matty chuckles when he hears that beautiful sound. But at the end of the song, you’re both just swaying in a circle and singing the lyrics into the other’s ear.

It’s a beautiful moment. And what better way for it to end than with a kiss?

When Matty’s lips connect to yours, you both savour it until the next song starts. You’re about to begin swaying along to the new tune but your Uncle taps Matty on the shoulder asking if he could steal you away for a song.

Of course Matty agrees and he lets your Uncle dance with you. But every time you turn around, you catch Matty watching you dance with your Uncle, and you feel your cheeks go hot under his gaze.

God, you really were embodying the song that had just been on. All it took was for him to look at you and smile and your usual chilled out self became so hot that you thought you'd melt right through the cracks.

You really needed to get your grip back.

~*~*~*~

As the night gets later, you get drunker, which means that when the second spliff you and Matty are sharing is depleted, you start sharing your thoughts.

Your back is against the brick wall behind you and you have Matty’s blazer on keeping you warm. Matty is standing about a foot in front of you and he’s just caught you looking up at his hair.

“I prefer your hair curly,” You tell him as you watch him take the last drag, stubbing the rest out.

Matty grins, “Yeah?”

You nod, “Yeah... I miss my Curly.”

“I’ve not gone anywhere, Sweetheart,” Matty chuckles, stepping closer to you and pulling your body into his.

“No,” You shake your head, “I mean in general.”

You can tell he’s confused then but your drunk self elaborates and clears it up for him.  

“I miss our summers,” You start. “I miss coming to Manchester... I miss you showing me how to do tricks on my skateboard.”

Everything you’re saying is making his heart swell. But even more so when you finish off with, “I miss you flirting with me and calling me Wheels... I miss you a lot Matty.”

“You’ve got no idea how much I miss you Sweetheart,” Matty tells you, pulling you firmly against him and you just stand there gazing into each other's eyes.

Matty breaks the moment's silence by suggesting, “You should come back over and see us soon.”

“I want to,” You nod, “I’ll try and come up properly again next summer.”

“We could do so much,” Matty grins, nudging your nose playfully with his.

“Wanna do it all,” You giggle, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Matty asks with raised eyebrows, “You come to all of our gigs?”

“Of course,” You giggle, “Got to see The 1975 for the first time, haven’t I?”

“You do,” Matty says before pecking your lips once.  

“Did you keep any songs for this one?” You ask, knowing with every new band name they never kept any of the songs they made in that era and brought it to the next.

“We’re keeping Girls and Sex,” Matty tells you.

You feel blood rush to your cheeks then knowing the latter is about you. Matty grins seeing you look to the ground after that, as he never made it a secret that the song is about you. If anything he wanted you to know.

“Hey Y/N/N,” Your Mum calls from round the corner.

You and Matty separate from each other's embrace then, and you make your way to your Mum who is bound to introduce you to one of her new friends again. Unsurprisingly she does but at least this time her friend has a son who looks around your age that has come along to the event.

You’re pleasant with the guy and Matty watches in amusement with George, Ross, and Adam at you trying your best to make conversation. Your body language tells those who knew you best that you’re tired and you really can’t be arsed with the conversation.

And it just gets worse when both you and your Mum are encouraged to get in a picture with her friend and her son. The boys watch as you put on the worst fake smile they’ve ever seen but Matty takes note of the lad whose arm goes around you as politely moves closer to you for the picture.

The guy is smitten with you. Anyone could see it.

Especially Matty though. And he hates it.

Even more so when the guy pulls you to the bar and you get a drink with him. Matty hates you talking to him, hates seeing you genuinely smiling at the lad. Matty hates you clinking your glass with him, hates you doing a shot with him, and hates seeing you rest your hand on his arm when you genuinely laughed at whatever he’s saying.

But Matty’s just thankful that a few minutes later you come back over to him and his friends. Matty traps you against him, his arms snaking around your waist.

“How's your new friend?” George asks you teasingly.

You frown at him and ask, “Why are you saying it like that?”

“He was giving you the lips, Wheels,” Matty tells you as he kisses your neck a few times.

You pull a disgusted face then, definitely not wanting that boy to ‘give you the lips’. You lean back into Matty a little, taking a drag of the cigarette you just lit and relax into him.

“I’m good thanks,” You cringe. “His curls and his height are as good as he gets.”

Matty hadn’t missed that the guy was literally just a 6’ 3” version of himself. But a lot less good looking, if Matty did say so himself.

“I reckon you could knock him out if he came too close,” Matty whispers into your ear which causes you to let out a giggle.

The night draws on and you and Matty spend the majority of the night in each other's company. Not always at each other's sides but you both never stray too far away.

Matty had given you his blazer when it started going dark, which was around 7 p.m. as he didnt want you getting cold when you all went out for a smoke. You thought it was very cute of him and you liked his aftershave that seemed to linger on the material.

You like his smell. It reminds you of your second home, as you spent most of your time in his company the last few times you come to Manchester.

All too soon though, the evening begins to draw to a close. And that starts when you feel a buzzing in the blazer that you had on.

You find Matty’s phone to be the culprit and when you pull it out you see Dad flash up on his phone, along with the time of 02:43.

“Hi Tim,” You answer it knowing Matty won’t mind.

You love Tim and you haven’t spoken to him for ages. You really miss Matty's whole family though, especially Louis.

“Y/N, is that you?” Tim asks you and you smile hearing his jolly voice.

You tell him, “It is, Matty lent me his blazer and it had his phone in it.”

“Ah he’s a gooden, isn't he?” Tim chuckles down the line. After you agree with him, Tim asks, “How’s the tie change gone down?”

You're confused at that question, and you assume it’s just your drunken mind needing the question simplified, “What do you mean?”

“The red tie?” Tim tells you and you glance at Matty who’s in conversation with George just across the patio. “He had a grey one to match his suit originally but he’s not stopped all week about me needing to help him find a tie in a particular shade of red.”

“Oh,” You say, a little shocked by the information. A smile also makes its way to your face, remembering your conversation from this morning, when you mentioned that he matched you.

The thought that he’d done it intentionally makes your heart beat faster.

Matty turns around laughing at something George had said then and his eyes connect with yours, which in that moment makes your heart flutter and butterflies come to your stomach. You glance down at his tie that is now loose around the collar of his black shirt and you press your lips together before telling Tim, “Yeah, the tie looks really good.”

“Ah, that's good then,” Tim says in his geordie accent as your eyes connect with Matty’s once more and you smile at each other.

“Are you alright to tell him I’m going to set off now to pick them up? I’ll be about half an hour,” Tim asks you.

“Yeah, of course,” You nod, even though he couldn’t see you. “Do you want to speak to him?”

You start walking over to Matty then, a little slower than your usual pace because of the amount of alcohol you’d consumed and because your heels were beginning to hurt a little. Tim says down the phone, “Yeah alright, if he’s not too busy?”

“No, don’t worry,” You grin, “He’s right here.”

Matty tilts his head to the side a little then, seeing you approach him on the phone with a look in your eyes he can’t quite pinpoint. “I’ll see you soon Tim,” You smile and Matty understands it’s his dad then.

You say a final goodbye before you hand Matty his phone over and whilst he takes that from you, you trade it for his cigarette and listen to his end of the conversation whilst chatting a little to George.

Matty’s answers to his Dad are generic, nothing revealing about them, so there’s really no need to listen in. It sounds like he’s just thankful that his Dad is coming to pick him and the other boys up.

“Thanks Dad, see you later,” Matty says, “Bye.”

Matty hangs up the phone then and pulls you into his body, maybe craving the warmth as you’d stolen his blazer, or maybe craving you. Either way, you’re happy in the embrace you’re trapped in and you can’t really stop yourself from smiling as you finish chatting to George about his job.

You lean back into Matty’s chest whilst you’re finishing off his cigarette. After a second, his hands come around your waist and he pulls your blazer open a bit so he can put his phone back in the inside pocket.

You stay like that for a little while until your cousin is shouting you inside for some more pictures.

You roll your eyes knowing it’s getting closer to 3 a.m. now and you really don’t want to be having pictures taken at this time. However, this day is not about you, so you get up and leave Matty and George alone once again.

When the photos are finished you glance at the clock seeing that it’s 3 a.m. and you’re genuinely so tired. Both you and Adam head back outside to your friends then and see a group of all the youths of tonight around your age had formed where you left Matty and George earlier.

As the both of you walk over though, you see that the group had basically formed a small circle. You and Adam slot yourself in next to George, Matty is opposite you next to some guy he’d apparently not seen in years that he’d pointed out earlier.

Ross was only a couple of people away from him, still looking dapper like before but you can’t take your eyes away from Matty. Partly because he just looked amazing in that black shirt and his red tie with his hair now falling in his face a little bit.

But mostly because he so easily captured everyone’s attention with his mouth that never stops running. It was like he asked if anyone minded if he gave a speech, because everyone gives him their attention.

And right now he’s talking to an old friend of his about their ex.

“Nah mate, honestly I never really got on with your bird the first time I met her. She was dressed in nout when we were all out and she was telling everybody that she was shagging about,” Matty told the guy and you had to hand it to him, he had some balls saying that to someone he barely knew.

“But she turned out to be alright. Actually one of the more laidback lot of the bunch,” Matty finishes up with and the guy just laughs and you’re just glad you didn’t have to drag Matty away from a fist fight.

But a minute later something happens that you aren’t expecting. You watch a really pretty girl with red hair, that you’d noticed earlier in the day, subtly tuck herself under Matty’s arm.

You don't think anyone else noticed it because she was standing next to him anyway, but your eyes had rarely strayed away from Matty today so you noticed instantly. Even more so when his arm goes around her shoulder.

A pit forms in the bottom of your stomach then and you aren’t too sure why. But looking at the girl next to Matty stings in a way it never had before seeing him with someone else.

You didn’t even feel like this the first time you’d seen him with Lucy. It’s a strange feeling and you didn’t really like it so you just didn’t look towards them hoping the sensation would leave.

But the feeling didn’t go away, mostly because you can’t really take your eyes off them. You want to see exactly where her hands are on him, and the fact she’s clutching to his shirt makes you jealous.

You don’t want her touching him at all.

Jealousy really is a dirty feeling, you don’t like it, and the fact you’re feeling it this intensely makes you want to head up to bed so you don’t get more wound up. The girl who has the most stunning red hair keeps giggling and leaning herself into Matty and Matty chuckles along with her to the guy's jokes.

You didn’t even hear the joke because you’re just so concentrated on her. Her hair stands out against her black dress which just draws people in to look at her.

Her dress is also riskily short which obviously brings her a lot of attention but the fact that she’d drawn Matty’s hurt your heart a little. But he wasn’t yours, so you had to suck it up and deal with it.

After another minute, you look back and the girl and Matty are looking at each other and you know exactly what you’re about to witness. She wanted him, you can just tell.

You don’t know why you carry on looking when she goes for the kiss, but you do. There’s a little tug on your heart that you try to pretend that you don’t feel when her lips are about to connect to his.

But all of a sudden Matty does something you truly didn’t expect.

“Oh,” Matty says, pulling his head back from the girl about to kiss him, “Best not, I’ll probably yosh in your mouth.”

The girl pouts at him with her gorgeous face full of make up and asks him as if she's a doting girlfriend, “You not feeling well?”

Matty shakes his head and you hear him say as he detacts himself from her, putting a hand on his stomach, “Nah… It’s like five past three, I can hardly see, and I'm on the verge of passing out.”

“I’m going getting some water,” Matty tells the girl before he heads inside and you avert your gaze quickly before you’re caught looking.

You see the girl's disappointed face and you can’t help the smile that forms on your lips. You don’t think you’d been this pettily happy for a long time.

A few minutes later Matty shouts from the door, “Hann, my Dad’s here.”

Your little group parts ways from the others, knowing that it’s time to say bye. You and Adam are staying in the hotel with your parents and they had annoyingly put you and Adam in a twin room, but the rest of the lads were heading back into Wilmslow.

You all meet Matty at the door and after the boys say bye to your family, you and Adam head outside. As the lads say goodbye to Adam, you politely say hello to Tim and ask how the family is doing.

You also tell him that you can’t wait for the next season of Benidorm as you find the programme hilarious and the fact he’s in it makes it even better.

Soon enough though, Adam takes your spot with Tim and you say goodbye to your boys then. You savour their hugs, knowing you wouldn’t see them until Christmas again now.

George is the first you hug, and then Ross, leaving Matty till last. You shrug off his blazer and playfully help him get it back on before he traps you in a hug.

You bury your head into his neck, shamelessly inhaling his scent and you’re sure you get more drunk off that. After a long and tight squeeze goodbye you part from him, but Matty doesn’t let you get too far from him.

His arms stay around your waist and your brunette cheekily glances at your lips when he says, “Need one for the road Sweetheart.”

And just from the look on his face you could tell he wants another kiss. And you’re not getting out of this until he gets one.

“Thought you felt sick?” You ask him, not particularing wanting to kiss him if he’s going to throw up into your mouth.

You aren’t Alex, you can’t cope with that shit.

“No, not in the slightest,“ Matty shakes his head, smiling a little.

That confuses you.

You frown a little, “But the girl…You didn’t ki-“

“The girl wasn’t you,” Matty interrupts sincerely, tucking your hair behind your ear.

Your heart warms at him saying that and his beautiful brown eyes show he’s being completely serious. The way he’s looking at you makes your heart flutter.

The next second you're captured by his kiss. Your heart rate once again increases feeling his lips against yours and even more when his tongue finds yours.

Your hands travel up his body, one resting on his neck and the other lacing into his hair. Matty hums a little feeling your nails against his scalp before your fingers curl around his locks and pull on it.

Matty’s hand that’s resting on your hip goes completely around your back and pulls your body closer to his. His other still cupping your cheek, guiding you through the kiss.

Not that you need the guidance at this point. You’re sure you knew pretty much everything about him, especially that tongue of his.

That was one thing you definitely had in common.

You try to savour the feeling of him against you and his lips against yours because you don’t know when you’d feel it again. You’re a little worried you never would.

You don’t want to go back over to Manchester and find that he has a surprise girlfriend again. That may be selfish of you, but you really don’t.

When you both part from the kiss, you keep close to each other. Your faces are barely two inches apart.

“Please come and see us more often Sweetheart,” Matty pleads, not wanting to let go of your body.

Every time you’re standing in his arms he feels whole. Like you are made to be there.

“I will,” You nod in confirmation.

You really want to. You miss spending him in their company. In Matty’s company.

“Good,” Matty grins, with his thumb still caressing your cheek, “Because I’ll be coming over to Sheffield if you don’t.”

You grin up at him and lean into his palm a little, “I promise I'll ask the bride tomorrow if I can come and stay again next summer.”

Matty grins at you and pulls you in for a quick peck, and after he says, “I'll see you soon, Wheels.”

“See you soon, Curly.” You say before you kiss him once more.

This time you don’t care about your lipstick. You just need a kiss that’d satisfy you until you see him again.

And you really hope that would be sooner rather than later.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Really hope you enjoyed this! And if you fancy reading the full story that is a love triangle between Matty and Alex, the fic is Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis and you can find it here and @nriacc! Thanks a million for reading, please let me know if you enjoyed it x

Taglist: @alovesreading @hazskillerqueen @multifandom-of-madness @conanbeshifting​ @thereisaplaceintheheart​ @jasmine06blog​ @kennedy-brooke​ @blancastans​ @luvrattyhealy @wendyspotatopeeler​

[sea-owl]

So I'm thinking ABO true mates polin and philoise, with childhood friends Phillip and Penelope, and some "I made up a fake suitor but turns out he's real and now we're planning a wedding. Oops" As always, I'm on mobile so I'm sorry for the long post.

So, the Featheringtons are a family of betas, they haven't had an alpha or an omega born into it for generations, until Penelope. Portia who has no idea how to even raise an omega daughter sends Penelope off to live with their cousins the Thompson in Gloucestershire who also have an omega daughter, Marina. Penelope grows up with Marina and the Crane boys, Phillip being her best friend. At some point she starts a pen pal relationship with Eloise.

By the time Penelope is sixteen there has been talks about arranging a marriage between her and Phillip. As much as Penelope loves the passive alpha both of them cringe at the thought of being mates. It doesn't help Marina and George also seemed keen on the idea.

"Oh Penelope why not? We could be sisters," Marina said. The two omegas were cuddling in Marina's nest. Marina's heat was due soon and it always helped if another unmated omega was there before and after the heat.

Because Phillip and I only see each other as pack mates, Penelope thought. Because I would rather write my novels and Phillip wants to study his plants. Because it would be the most awkward marriage ever.

Penelope couldn't say that though. Her cousins didn't even know she was the novel writer Lady Whistledown, it wasn't something a proper omega did.

But her romantic cousin did believe in true mates.

Penelope leaned in closer to whisper to Marina. "I believe I have found my true mate."

"Penelope," Marina gasped. "Who is it? Have I met him?"

Penelope shook her head. "Do you remember my pen pal Elosie?"

"Ms. Bridgerton?" Marina asked.

Penelope nodded. "Yes, one of her brothers caught my scent from a letter I sent her. He sent me a letter with Eloise's and oh Marina. I just know he is my mate."

"Which brother?"

Penelope ran through a list of names in her head, trying to remember Elosie's actual brothers' names so she didn't choose one of them. How many did she say she had again? Three? Yes, that sounds about right, two older and one younger. The Bridgertons were so well known, even out here, for their being many in their pack and for all looking so alike that half the time most don't know which one is which from a distance. Surly no would notice if she added one more, and Eloise would help surely help her if she knew Penelope was doing to avoid marriage.

A name, she needed to pick a name.

"Colin. His name is Colin Bridgerton."

Later that night Penelope wrote two letters. One to Eloise, and one to the mate she made up.

Dear Eloise,

My cousins are once again trying to push me and Phillip to court, no matter how many times we tell them we see each other no more than as pack mates. I may have fibbed and told them I have recently started a long-distanced courtship with one of your brothers. Colin is the first name that came to mind. If you could please help me I greatly appreciate it.

with great thanks,

Penelope Featherington

The letter she wrote to the made-up brother was shorter, adding in a few details she remembers Eloise said about one of her actual brothers.

Dear Mr. Bridgerton,

Thank you kindly for your first letter. You will have to write to me while on your tour around the Mediterranean. I have heard you could find really good tomato plants there.

yours truly,

Penelope Featherington

On the back of her stationary, she added some musings she had once written on new love when Marina and George first started courting.

Two weeks later Penelope found herself having a picnic with Marina and the Cranes. Phillip and Penelope were sent to keep an eye on the engaged couple. She had also received two letters. One smelled of Eloise's warm scent of honeysuckle, the smell becoming more potent as she opened the envelope.

"I still can't believe you made up a fake mate," Phillip whispered.

"If I had not your father," Penelope spat the word, " and my guardians would certainly have us engaged to be married."

Penelope pulled out the letter. Eloise had written that she would certainly help Penelope, after all who else was she going to be spinsters with? No one in London that's for sure.

Penelope smiled. "Oh, this is wonderful Phillip, now you can continue your studies at Cambridge and . . .Phillip?"

Phillip sat next to Penelope in a daze, his body shaking, and his unfocused eyes staring at the letter in her hands. "Lonicera," he muttered, breathing in deeply.

"Phillip!" Penelope yelled.

Whatever scattered her friend's mind stopped it's control. Phillip blinked a few times before coming back to himself. "I'm sorry Penelope. I'm not sure what happened."

"You're not about to go into a rut are you?" Penelope asked.

Phillip shook his head. "No, I'm not due for a while."

Penelope stared at her friend for a few moments before turning back to her other letter. This one didn't contain Eloise's scent; she must have sprayed some sort of perfume on it. The perfume gave off a scent of an ocean breeze with hints of citrus. It was the most wonderful scent Penelope has ever smelled. She must remember to ask Eloise what perfumed she sprayed it with.

Over the next few years Penelope kept sending letters to her Mr. Bridgerton. She must really commend Eloise for her dedication to keep up the charade, even if she still hasn't told Penelope what perfume she sprays the letters with. If Penelope was not the one to make up Mr. Colin Bridgerton she would have sworn he was real. Eloise put so many details in of a young man traveling to different parts of the world that Penelope wonders where she learned them. She even pretended to send gifts from those travels. Penelope busted out laughing when the first one of tomato plant seeds came in with a note.

You were right Pen, there are good tomato plants here.

yours,

Colin

Penelope wished things went as smoothly with the rest of her life. When she was 17, George had went to battle and died, leaving behind an unmarried and unbitten pregnant mate. Phillip was dragged home by his father who had died two weeks after George. Now the lord of Romney Hall Phillip tried to honor his brother and look after Marina and her unborn child. They had married when Marina was three months along, but never mated. No one dared spoke about how Sir Crane and Lady Crane had no mating marks.

Marina was never the same. During the last months of her pregnancy, she had become snappy with Phillip, and almost always demanded that Penelope not leave her side. Phillip and Penelope had hoped that once Marina gave birth she would calm, but no such luck. After the twins were born Marina had become despondent. She never left her rooms and allowed very few to enter. For two years she lived like that before the sickness took hold of her and she allowed it to take her.

Phillip and Penelope were reading over condolence letters when she got the rare letter from her mother.

Penelope,

I am sorry to tell you this but your father has passed. Come next season when we go into half mourning, I will need you in London. It is time for you to be serious about your suitor.

Penelope stopped reading. Her father was dead. She supposes as her offical pack leader and sire she should mourn his loss. She's sure her sisters in London are.

Penelope read over the letter once more. Still she felt like she was reading about the death of an unnamed character in one of her novels.

Penelope puts down her mother's letter and picks up the one from her fake suitor.

My darling Pen,

I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are going through right now. It is never easy to lose one menber of your pack, much less two. I hear you are to come to London next season. I shall be waiting for you here. Mayhaps we shall finally see if we suit for marriage.

Eagerly waiting,

Colin

"My mother expects me to return to London next season. I am to join the marriage mart," Penelope said.

Phillip nodded. "I will accompany you. We will both be in half mourning and be able to begin courting others."

Penelope looked up, her confusion leaking into her scent. "You will come to London with me?"

Phillip smiled. Penelope could smell his smugness at shocking her in his pine scent. "I figured we would both like someone we would know there when taking on the marriage mart. I need to find the children a new mother."

"You should find yourself a mate," Penelope muttered under her breath.

Penelope was 20 when she stepped back into London for the first time since her mother decided she could not raise an omega. Her dress was lavender and her gloves black.

Phillip stepped out of the carriage beside her with his black gloves and coat.

They are greeted in the Featherington drawing room by Penelope's mother and three sisters, along with two unknown alphas and an unknown omega.

That familiar smell of ocean and citrus hits Penelope so hard she's thankful Phillip has given her his arm to escort her in. She's not sure she would be standing if he didn't.

"Penelope, Sir Crane" Portia said. "This is Viscount Anthony Bridgerton, Lady Violet Bridgerton, and Mr. Colin Bridgerton."

Phillip shot Penelope a look. I thought you made him up.

Penelope shot Phillip a look back. So did I.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

For the anon with a request (part 1) 😉

I'm so frustrated because Evan and I are out of town for the weekend for my cousin's wedding. I packed my sexiest lingerie and planned to rock his world tonight afterwards. I think about how hot he's going to look all dressed up and I sigh and close my eyes picturing me undressing him. But son of a bitch if I didn't start to feel cramps and realize I was starting my period. Great. Cramps and no fun tonight. Well at least not with our clothes off. I wasn't supposed to start for a couple more days. Like a dummy I also didn't pack anything because I was too focused on our late night activities. I moan in disgust as I feel the cramps getting worse.

Evan walks in the room, having gone down to the car to get our bags. He was such a gentleman. Always doing the heavy lifting no matter how much I protest. He notices I look a little pissed.

"uh-oh, what did I do?" He says as he freezes in place

I chuckle softly and give him a loving look. "It's not you babe. I just...started my period and I wasn't supposed to yet. Had a night planned for us"

"Oooh boy." He says jokingly

"I have cramps and I didn't bring anything.

"Oh shit. What can I do? Want me to run to the store?"

"would you?"

"of course. We passed a pharmacy as we turned down the street."

I tell him what I need. Advil and Tampax. I ask him if he's ok getting the latter for me. He says he sure can.

"you're amazing and I love you" I say and kiss him. "I will make this up to you soon" I wink at him. He chuckles his soft breathy chuckle. My mind wanders to what his breath feels like on my body when he's on top of me and his weight is delicious on me. I sigh. It sucks being so damn horny when you can't fuck.

Evan gets back fairly quickly and I feel relief. I take an Advil, do what I have to do with the other and lay on the bed. We have a few hours before the wedding starts and I want to try to get rid of my cramps.

He asks what he can do and I say he could spoon me so I can use him as a human hot pad for my pain. He does just that and then lays a big warm hand on my lower abdomin.

"Oh, honey that feels so good" I say

"Glad to help" he whispers in my ear. It makes me shift a little. He chuckles again.

I look behind me and say "an orgasm might help the pain go away" I say softly

Without saying a word he starts touching my breasts. Rubbing at my nipples through my bra. I moan so he reaches in my shirt and starts rubbing my nipples between his finger and thumb gently.

He continues to play and it feels so good cause right now I'm oversensitive.

He is rubbing and flicking and then he shifts me towards him and he climbs on top of me. He lifts my shirt up and starts lapping at my nips. His tongue is soft and gentle and slow. I just lay there and experience it. He's actually getting me close just playing with my breasts. I beg him to touch me. His fingers rub over the fabric of my pants. He's pressing hard enough to get to my clit and he starts in circles. He doesn't have to do much as my body explodes and I cry out softly.

"That's my girl. Did that help?"

"Yes", I say sleepy.

"Rest for a few" he says as he spoons me again and I fall asleep thinking about how I'm going to repay him tonight after the wedding. This very sweet man that I am lucky enough to have in my life.

(to be continued)

writer anon wasted no time with the request!

[scottysketches]

wip wednesday

been a month since I posted any form of wip progress. I don't really have anything new - this time of year is always really bad for me, my motivation and desire to do anything creative tanks thanks seasonal depression you're a real one - not to mention that xmas eve was also the ten year anniversary of my nan's passing. It's just been a really weird month.

But! I've started sleeping better, I'm going to start going back to the gym (want to shed a load of weight before my cousin's wedding in August), and actually taking some time off from writing Don't Dream It's Over has helped me with blocking out the remaining chapters.

There have also been some developments with regards to how my Satine Lives AU will continue once DDIO is completed:

I've worked a little more on talk me down, my Korkie/Amis side story

I've started writing notes and drafting ideas for a Korkie-centric story, set between the end of DDIO and A New Hope (so will actually cover the nineteen-odd years that the Kryze-Kenobi clan are in hiding after the downfall of the Republic)

I completed Jedi: Survivor! And I loved every second of it! The combat is incredible, the maps are beautiful, the ability to customise Cal's appearance is very well done! I've actually got a story in the works where Cal, Merrin and Greez run into Korkie on Ryloth (no working title as of yet, it's saved on my computer under the name 'twin sons' - yes, playing on the idea that Cal also looks like he could be Obi-Wan's kid lol)

In case folks were unaware, after I published the first chapter of DDIO I ended up creating a series for it on AO3 because I knew I was going to end up writing loads more set within this AU. It's titled (rather appropriately) The One Where Obi-Wan Gets a Happy(ish) Ending. For now, DDIO is the only story in it, but the other stories that are in the series description are meet you there, talk me down, tear me to pieces and afterglow:

meet you there: Ahsoka Tano & Korkie Kryze, in progress - set immediately after Ahsoka leaves the Jedi at the end of S5 Ep20, "The Wrong Jedi" [excerpt here]

talk me down: Korkie Kryze/Amis, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze, in progress - follows Amis from the age of ten to the Night of a Thousand Tears as he comes to terms with his sexuality, meeting Korkie and falling for his best friend [excerpt here]

tear me to pieces: Korkie Kryze/Amis, in progress - set in the immediate aftermath of the Night of a Thousand Tears

afterglow: Ahsoka Tano & Korkie Kryze, Korkie Kryze/Amis, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze (mentioned), in progress - set during the galaxy-wide celebrations after the downfall of the Empire. Ahsoka is reunited with an old friend and his family on Naboo

---

Aside from all this Star Wars stuff, I've also gotten into some new stuff - I'm really enjoying the Percy Jackson show, criticisms about some changes from the source material aside; I've been playing The Sims 4 again after not touching it from around the time the latest expansion pack, For Rent, was released; and I've spent the last few weeks binging the few seasons of Chicago Med, Chicago P.D. and Chicago Fire that are available on Now TV here in the UK.

Anyway, now that my seasonal depression seems to hopefully be settling down to hibernate until the end of November, I'm going to try and set some time aside to work on DDIO and try to get chapter 4 out before the end of January.

Cheers, folks, Scotty :)

[pbandjesse]

We are at the wedding!! Waiting for it to start. Today has been a pretty nice day. Right now they are speaking to us in what I think is Ugandan and now they are switching to English. I am so excited for Sam and Paul.

He started with "You are very welcome." And I do feel so welcomed. That is the number one thing I have felt from the people here.

There is still a little time before the ceremony so they are going to have someone sing for us. This is very cool.

Today has been a lot of hurry up and wait. But honestly I needed that. I slept okay last night. And we actually slept in until 8. When we got up we washed our faces and put on casual clothes and went to breakfast. I still wasn't tasting much of anything so I didn't enjoy it as much but that was okay. James went to find me a breakfast soda (unsuccessful) and I ordered them a coffee so it would be there when they got back.

I did not feel like myself though. I desperately needed some source of caffeine. And thankfully I considered that and had brought my crystal light packs and would have one after breakfast. It is funny though, in all my research I did not consider that there is no diet coke in all of Uganda. So I was very sleepy and kind of quiet and stuck in my head.

When we got back to the room James took a shower and read for a bit before heading to Paul's room to get ready with the guys.

I would doze. The original plan was we were supposed to be at the lobby at 12. But then the guys didn't leave until 1145. So we had some extra time.

I would woke up at 1030 and finished drinking my caffeine tea. And discovered that James had taken my key card to the room so I couldn't turn the lights on. Annoying. I texted them but they were taking pictures so they didn't get back to me and return the card until 1130. So I did my makeup by sunlight best I could. And honestly I felt beautiful. I feel really beautiful today. It's great.

James would come up and give me a last smooch when they returned my card. I finished getting dressed. And I absolutely love my dress. This is the first time I've worn it and I am just so proud of the dye job I did. I will be telling everyone.

I took pictures outside and felt so good. And then went down to the lobby. Except the groomsmen were all still there. Ugh oh. So we would be minimum 45 minutes behind.

They would leave them though and I would chill in the atrium until Aelianna came down. She looks magical. She is ridiculously beautiful and she keeps telling me how pretty I am so you know that feels nice.

She invited me to go sit at the bar with her because she needed to eat something. She ordered us water and she got samosas. And we just talked. I was half vaccinated and could tell because I just become so stupidly talkative. I was telling her all kinds of stories. About moving to Baltimore, and meeting James, and being married and in love. She was a very good active listener.

She also told me about last night. A bunch of them went to a club. Me and James were invited but it isn't our scene and we knew sleep was going to be really important for us. But apparently some stuff went wrong. Someone didn't pay someone when they should have and they got trapped in an alley for 15 minutes in a really scary situation. And she got her phone (and wallet phone case) stolen. And that has to be terrifying. She had her work phone still but it has to feel so violating and scary. She is being really brave about it and the hotel is trying to help track it. I hope she can get everything situated soon. But today is the wedding! And we are all just going to try and focus on that.

The bus still wasn't there at 1240. So I went outside to find Paul's mom and dad and aunts and uncles and some cousins. And I was very caffeinated at this point and I was in full yapping mode. And we had such nice talks. About work and travel and the pandemic and community and how people have reacted to me here. And I loved talking to them. They are all so lovely and I am so so happy for them on this wedding day!! Their baby is getting married! Their family is expanding!! Love multiples!!

At 115 the bus finally came! But then Sydney and Devin were missing. Paul's dad had to ask the hotel to call their room. And at 120 they came down and finally were on our way!

It was not a bad drive. It was so nice seeing all of the nature and stuff here at the compound. As we had not seen that yet.

We had parked down the road so we all walked over here. And everyone is so beautiful and I love love love everyone's different outfits. It's a mix of American and African clothing. And I am just so happy to be here.

The ceremony is starting!

That was beautiful. I liked how much it it was in Ugandan. And I for sure cried. When Sam came in she was just so beautiful. Today everyone was wearing their American style formal wear. And they all just looked so sharp. The groomsmen came in first, with sunglasses on looking like secret service. Followed by Paul. Then the bridesmaids in all their colors. And then Sam! And it was so great.

The minister struggled to say "Samantha" and kept saying "Mantha" which was a little funny. But he would get it by the end. The structure was more religious then I'm used to. And the MC seemed a little more talkative then I expected. But it was still really nice. And they have live saxophone and violin. Which sounds great. There was multiple prayers. And that was nice. I cried during the vows.

After the vows they exchanged rings and I thought it would be kiss and then done. But there was more prayers. And then the ushers handed out water for everyone. And then weirdly they handed Paul the torn up box that water has come in?? And the minister asked for donations, we assume for the church, and Paul and Sam seemed a little confused. They would at least cover the torn up box with a cloth so it didn't look so rough but they could have gotten a better box. And no one was sure what to do but the Ugandan people started going up to make donations and then the Americans. But it was a little unclear.

But then they were married and we were happy and clapping.

And now we are heading to the reception site!

We had to go down the road and up a little hill. Armed guards at the front. But the tent and space is beautiful. Sam's parents did such a good job.

It was a little chaotic at first to figure out seats. But I took charge and got our group at 2 tables. And I seriously picked such a good spot. We are right next to the band! And I have loved there performances.

Once everyone was here they handed out drinks the show started. And I was obsessed. First of all they are beautiful. Their costumes are beautiful. And I loved the music. I was dancing in my seat with them it was wonderful.

And each little set was long! And they kept those smiles going, it was so impressive. For like 10+ minutes!

It was fun watching them but it was even more exciting when the bridal party finally came. The dancers danced in a line and the grooms men and bridesmaids came in and it was so lovely. So much dancing. I loved it.

And the dancing would continue. And it was great. I was so happy. I was tip tapping on my chair and one of the people in the band noticed and gave me an instrument!! It was a shaker of some kind with what I think are nuts or small gords. And I was enjoying copying the man who handed it to me and I think I did a good job! It was a little exhausting because it was 10 minutes of shaking and keeping time but I was having a great time and everyone was enjoying it, I think people thought it was funny and objectively it was! I was having a blast.

There were speeches and more dances and soon it was time for food.

While we had been laying attention to the shows people from the village outside of the compound had started sitting on the wall. And it was funny to see the group grow. But I think eventually the staff shooed them away. But eventually it seems that some of them would sneak in and join the buffet line. Honestly the more the merrier. I am glad they got some food too.

And the food was good. There was all kinds. I liked the pasta salad and coleslaw and three different kinds of rice. There was also some different meats but I did not have that. I would go back for fruits and a little bit of sponge cake. Which was bright red but just tasted like vanilla. I was having a lot of fun though. I got to try sugar cane juice. And I also had a sprite. And I am just having a blast.

James would come give me a smooch. And I would wander around to the other side of the tent where the groomsmen table is and hung out with James for a bit. And they introduced me to a little league world champion (2015) who one of the guys knew. He was nice.

And then me and James went to take pictures on the cliff overlooking the lake. It is truly just so beautiful here. James is just a little tipsy and so sweet.

I would head back to my table. Stopping to take talk to my favorite of the dancers. I told her how beautiful she was and she was like "no you!!". I am loving meeting people so much.

Now they are cutting the cake and it is very sweet. They also played the show game. And I hope we dance more soon.

They would have a mother son dance and a daddy daughter dance. Sam's dad was briefly missing so her uncle stepped in but the moment her dad came back and stepped in the waterworks started and I was crying she looked so relieved and just cried in happiness. And I was so happy for her.

We danced hardcore. I love love loved watched James dance their heart out. And as soon as we were invited to I joined them I was right over there.

And I had such a a wonderful night. I danced and danced. I drank water and crystal light. And had plenty of wired energy for dancing and chatting.

And chat I did. I made a bunch of friends. I danced with a bunch of people. I would wander off to the cliff edge a bit. To enjoy the breeze. And once the sun went down it was a lot nicer. I don't think I got burned. I was careful about sunscreen. And someone lent me their big spray. So I don't even think I got bit.

I really did love dancing. I am not terrible at it and it was just so nice feeling like I wasn't weird. I was having fun. I was happy.

I would get handed a baby named Skyler and we danced for a long while. I was just having a blast.

I would eventually catch a Sphinx moth. And danced with that in my hand and made all the aunties laugh in horror. But it opened the conversation and I was able to show them photos of our trip to the conservatory and the Nile and they wanted to know how I felt about Uganda. And I could really genuinely tell them how much I have loved their country.

I would accidentally upset James and I felt like I took the wind out of the sails and it made me feel like a monster. We would recover but the energy took some time to come back. But we would dance together and kiss and laugh and it was just a wonderful night.

While I was showing the aunties the pictures on my phone they started playing Ugandan music. And that got so many of the guests out of their seats and dancing traditional dances. And they showed us how to as well!! Me and James would learn three different dances and the young women were so excited to share and were high fiving and saying thank you for engaging with their culture and I was just like. Oh my God I am so grateful that they shared with me. The girls would take a selfie with me at the very end of the night and everyone seemed very concerned they were going to try and pickpocket me but I didn't have anything available and my phone was in my hands or in the front of my dress all evening.

I also had a few people give me their phone numbers to send them pictures. I have no idea if it will actually get to them. But I got the numbers and sent them along. It was so sweet. I was so happy. Both for Paul and Sam and just that we got to experience this amazing trip.

We would gather up at 11. And after getting a bunch of hugs and goodbyes we loaded up the bus. And that's where we are now.

Some kids were saying hello through the window. And we are all chatting and excited still. I am excited to get clean. And then tomorrow they have canceled the brunch in favor of dinner. Which I think is for the best. So we will try and swim and who knows what else. Just some last things before we start the journey home.

I feel so lucky. And so happy. I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well everyone. I love you all.

[lucysweatslove]

I know today is Mother’s Day and happy day to all the mothers out there etc etc. But today I am pretty annoyed so sorry and move along if you don’t want this to drag ya down.

I love my mom. She is not perfect- no parent is of course- but she has in some cases been trying to be/do better, which I appreciate.

Anyway, last year around November she decided she wanted to organize a family reunion of sorts for her side of the family. Specifically just for my cousins + their kids, not for my aunts and uncles. My mom has 5 siblings who were all raised LDS, so I have quite a few cousins of varying ages, but most are married and have kids of their own by now.

We never RSVP’d exactly. Back then and into December and January, we told my mom that it’s hard to know what our summer will look like because at that point I was still interviewing for schools. We didn’t know if I would get in anywhere, and if so, where we would need to move, when school would start, etc.

When I was accepted into my top choice at the end of January, some of those questions were answers. But, I was accepted into their rural program which meant I had to schedule time (prior to school starting) at my rural clinic. Then we had a housing scare when it took months for the management company to tell us how much rent would be this year, so we didn’t know if we were going to have to move still.

Additionally: rob and I just don’t think it would be fun for us in whole. I love my family and my cousins, but the idea of camping in my parents’ backyard with several other people so close sounds not fun for us. Additionally just being around so many people and having so many activities pre-planned also sounds not fun. It’s not that I want activities sprung on me (I don’t), but “it’s too short notice and we didn’t pack for that” is far more palatable and socially acceptable than “that sounds miserable, not just no but FUCK no.” Ofc I wouldn’t say it that way, but that’s what people still hear. Basically if we go, it will be a HUGE social drain, and even if it’s “only” three days, we WILL burn out from it.

TECHNICALLY, we can go. We don’t have any excuse why we couldn’t. It’s the weekend after my rural clinic thing. Ends two weeks before school orientation starts. But it all feels like too much. I need to be refreshed and not in a state of burn out when orientation starts so I can somewhat mask and not be perceived as weird and totally outcasted by my small cohort.

My mom asked today after we said all of our happy Mother’s Day’s if we were going to make it. I said probably not for us because it’s just a lot happening in a short period of time.

My older sister is now trying to convince me into going by downplaying all of my concerns and guilt-tripping me (“if you don’t care about seeing your cousins…”). Also trying to bargain like “you can hole up in your old room and just coke for a day.” It’s 6 hours away on a good day. I would have to spend 12 hours driving just to, what? Sit in my room overwhelmed and overstimulated? It sounds absolutely pointless and like my attendance is just for appearances.

I could barely handle my own wedding, which was the last time a lot of cousins came up to my parents’. And that was just one evening.

I’m annoyed with them both rn. My mother for asking something that is kind of volatile on Mother’s Day of all days (probably thinking I wouldn’t be able to say no today), and my sister for trying to guilt me into going even when I know it’s not a good idea for me.

[gobblegloop]

I am destroyed.

It was his cousins wedding. October 7th. We had spent 9+ hrs driving from NJ to Canada with his sister. The road trip was fun. Really fun going to Canada, but as soon as we started hanging out with his family, I was left for the wolves.

Day 1 - Mehendi

His mom and dad were there for the mehendi and I mainly hung out with his sister. When it came to introducing me to his other family members, he was no where to be found. He left me to myself and didn’t introduce me to anyone unless someone forced him to have a stink about it. Luckily his mom and dad were there. At least I could talk to them and his sister and they were kind enough to introduce me to them.

Day 2 - Hindu Ceremony

He still isn’tintroducing me to anyone. I kept to myself and still wondered why. Is he embarrassed to be seen with me? His mom and dad is still introducing me to everyone. I am sad. He doesn’t notice. His Canadian friend that has family in NJ walks in. We are both happy to see her, but instead he starts introducing her to everyone. Not me. Her. What is this? This is so insulting. Why do I have to beg to be seen or noticed? I am hurt. I am forgotten about.

Day 3 - All is fine - I meet his mom’s side of the family. I like them the most.

Day 4 - me him and his sister drive back to NJ with little to no sleep. We made I back safely

Punta Cana

Day 1, Tuesday - We travel to Punta Cana. We had a good nights rest the night before. This trip to Punta Cana is a big deal for me because I’ve never travelled outside of the US and Canada. It’s also the first time we travel together out of the country together. This should be so special. I can’t wait! His friends Alex and Aleeza are there. I love that they are there. Idk what I would have done without them. The flight is great. We make it there safely and I had a great time on the flight. The dinner mixer is fine. We notice the shower head isn’t working properly at night time. I don’t feel comfortable showering there but I do it anyways. I call maintenance to take a look at the shower head. While I’m handling business, he leaves in the room to explore on his own. Day one in another country by myself. He leaves me by myself. Great. Just my luck. I text him to tell him I’ll be there. He finds Sarah and Khateja. They are exploring while I’m stuck by myself. He gets to have fun. I have to be the responsible one. I’m always the responsible one. He gets to go to the casino. The casino is our thing. I am hurt. I am hurt. I am sad. I do the dirty work to complain to our butler. I finally meet up with them. Idk what else happens that night. We sleep. Why can’t he take initiative? It’s not fair. He doesn’t check on me either. I don’t feel noticed. I feel like I’m bothering him. It’s only day 1. Shove your feeling down. It will get better Amy. I had to. He knows how important it is for you. He knows.

Day 2, Wednesday

I message our butler around 8 am. She says she can move us. 11am still nothing. The butler says we won’t move until around 2pm. The whole day is pretty much gone. He’s getting restless so I say he should hangout with his family. He doesn’t even say no I’ll stay, we should do this together. Gone. He is gone. I’m left by myself to pack up his things all by myself. The butler helps me move everything. I suppose I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s my fault. I guess. I would have liked him to at least tell me no, I’ll do it with you. But no, he doesn’t. I am disappointed. I am exhausted. I take a shower and get dressed to hang out with everyone. I end up at the beach. the beach was fun. He’s with family but by himself. We go into the water together. That was fun. He helped me get comfortable with the water. I don’t feel as bad. I feel like I can let go of the other things that happened. It’s fine. We also went to a French restaurant. Maybe the room switch was all that I needed. Things will get better.

Day 3 , Thursday- 12am hits. It’s His Birthday. He doesn’t want anything but to be with his family. I tell his cousin. She agrees they should all meet up at her place. The day is a blur for me. We sing him happy birthday and drink it’s fun. I hope he likes it.

I asked the butler to do something nice for his birthday. I tip her. The room looks great. The jacuzzi is too hot! We can’t enjoy it. It sucks. I don’t want to do it again. Maybe a different place. Definitely not here. I can’t remember if I had mamajuana today. Probably but I know we had amazing sex. It was probably the day before. I can’t remember. I think it was today. Either way it felt like the first time we had sex. I felt connected to him. I felt free. I thought things were good. i think we also did the beach this day. at somepoint i leave because its getting to hot for me. i end up spending a couple hours in the room by myself because i need a break from interacting and i want to take a lonnnggggggg shower. i do that. a lot of hours go by. we dont talk to each other until later. im glad hes haningout with everyone and i can freshen up.

Day 4, Friday - reception. It’s fine. We look beautiful. I spend most of the afternoon getting ready. Idk what he’s doing. Most likely at the pool. Idk. He doesn’t check on me either. The After party was lit. I enjoy myself.

Day 5, Saturday /Sunday HELL

saturday roughly 9am-2pm we go to the spa. I really liked the spa. It was fun. We spent morning there. I can’t tell if he’s having a good time. He doesn’t really say anything to me unless I ask. He teaches me to float. Woohoo!

The rest is a blur. i think i go to the beach with everyone.

Saturday we go to the club in the evening. It’s a bust. I try to dance. Everyone tries. But they’re all tired from the day before. Alex and Aleeza are leaving the next day so they don’t hangout as much. We end up at the bar.

Everything was fine until I see Anand randomly poke kahteja in the stomach. It’s weird to me because he normally keeps his hands to himself. I’ve never seen him do that with anyone else. Idk why he did it. I’m not used to it. I pretend like nothing happened just to suppress my feelings. I had already been feeling disconnected at some point. I probably should have caused a scene then. Maybe I would have gotten some sleep.

the night continues, it’s about 2am. Pretty much everyone is tired and leaving. But Sarah Katejah and mikey don’t want to leave. Neither does Anand. Ii would have left too but him poking her really upset me and now I have to stay there so he doesn’t do anything further. The night continues he still doesn’t want to leave. He’s pretty drunk and now banging on the chairs. These two white guys join and now they’re all jamming to songs idk. Idk what’s going on. I’ve never played this game with Anand. I’m too tired to think but i have to stay here because I’m scared he might do something further.

I have to stay alert at this point it’s 4am now they’re suggesting let’s stay up longer to watch the sunrise. A reasonable person would have gone to sleep, and then woken up at 6am to see the sunrise. Now that I’m apart of team no sleep and now these two creepy white guys are following us, I can’t leave Sarah and Katejah alone. Sarah was fighting with her boyfriend pretty much the whole night and I felt she was in a no fucks given mode and wanted everyone else to stay with her. Katejah is depressed and also didn’t want to go to sleep. Why doesn’t anyone want to go to sleep????!!! No I have to keep my cool. I can do this. Anand wants to be here. I have to be cool because he won’t like me anymore and will think I’m no fun. If it were my choice, we would have gone to sleep at 2am and woke up at 6am. I should have just left and went to sleep and if he did end up doing something then clearly he’s not meant for me. And I should learn to accept that. I can’t control him. I can only control myself. I guess the reason I’m upset is because we’re on this trip together. I don’t think it means as much to him as it does to me. I see that now. And now I feel he’s investing most of his time being the star of the party. He had to impress everyone. I don’t get it. Why does he feel the need to be center of attention? Why does he need to impress these girls so much? Maybe he’s not thinking it this way. Maybe this is who he is and always been? Maybe it’s just me overthinking. I guess I’m overthinking because my level of attention isn’t being met. But how much attention do I need? Now I’m watching will he touch me? Will he poke me? I don’t sense anything from him. I feel lousey and disconnected. Why is everyone else in this group able to have so much fun and not me? He says he’s here to hangout with family. But these girls aren’t family. They’re Reshma’s friends. all the family have gone to sleep. I am so confused.

The sun finally rises, we take pictures. That was nice. Now it’s at least 6:30am on Sunday. I’ve bit my tongue the whole night. STILL no one wants to sleep. It’s chaos. The white guys are swimming. And now they’re trying to peer pressure Anand to do it. We don’t leave until i FINALLY say I’m being over stimulated. Why do I need to start acting angry to be noticed. Why does this need to be the person I have to be in order to be seen? I don’t want to be this person.

We don’t sleep until around 7am-12pm. we miss breakfast. The only meal I enjoy at the resort. I’m awake at 11am. We should go get breakfast. Now he’s tired and wants to be left alone. I feel shoved to the side. I feel insulted. He’s getting snippy with me so I get snippy right back. We’re getting ready to leave the room but he says something rude to me and I can’t hold in my feelings any longer. He’s wondering why I’m acting this way but I want to know why he’s being such a jerk? Is it because I wanted to sleep and took him away from the fun? I don’t understand him nor do I think he understands me.

the day progresses. I end up hanging out with Reshma’s and Amrit from about 1pm-4pm. I’m really upset. Feeling alone. Drinking drinking drinking. I haven’t eaten anything. I feel very drunk. I need help. I ask Anand for help. He thinks I’m annoying him. I leave. I’m alone. I have to take care of myself because no one is going to take care of me. I asked for help. No one noticed. I am outcast. I don’t fit in. I am alone. I am sad.

I shove me feelings again because if I show any sign of emotion then I’m the problem. He’s teaching me to kill a part of myself that I’ve worked so hard to have. Courage. The courage to speak. He wants me to me to be complacent. I cannot for the life of me, go back to being someone’s agreeable personality. A part of me will die each day if I continue to neglect my emotions.

it’s now dinner time, I try to talk to him about how I felt today but he gets snippy with me again so I drop the conversation. I die inside.

Day 7, Monday -well, it’s the last day here. Finally. Maybe I can enjoy breakfast and forget about everything. I can’t. But I’m going unheard and unnoticed buy him. It’s fine. Shove your feeling down. You’re not allowed to be expressive here. How dare you have any emotions. You are too emotional for these people. They don’t understand you. No one does. As they’ve shown you yesterday right? You are alone. You have no one.

We are home. we made it home safely. The airport was fun. Just the two of us. Eating chicken and fries. We are both sick. Just my fucking luck.

Tuesday- he then tells me about how much fun he had. I should have said something again, but what the point? So I agree like a good little girl.

Wednesday- he asks me if it’s inappropriate for him to massage people. I ask who was there and what kind of massage it was. The one I taught him. He shared that with others. HA he must have been doing it to Sarah and Katejah. Yup, he confirms. LOL as soon as I left after I needed help from drinking, he chose to help them by massaging them. Got it. I am furious. But nah girl he doesn’t see you. Shove your emotions down again. Tell him yeah it’s fine. You massage ppl all the time. Like reshma had to explain to everyone, yep Anand is like this. He loves to give massages. Sure.

what am I feeling? I feel again left out, and alone. I feel suspicious because of what happened the other day and this morning. I can’t catch a break. It’s one thing after another hitting me.

Thursday. The blow up. I can’t hold it in any longer. We go to the chiropractor. He asks how was the trip. I lie and say it was great. I lie to myself yet again.

I can’t hold it anymore I’m in the car and I try to tell Anand I didn’t have a good time. And here’s why… he doesn’t get it still. Idk if he ever will. Now I’m all emotional. The one thing I feared would happen. Hes defensive and then he does the ultimate thing to destroy me. He posted our argument on tumblr. After he knows I don’t like things being posted. Idk how to forgive him. I don’t know who I am anymore. I am alone. I am unheard. I am misunderstood. I am unnoticed.

[carouselcometh]

I’m a hater and here’s a long winded example. My cousin who I never really liked, had her wedding seven years ago on my birthday, at a barn. There’s not even animals at this barn to go pet or anything, it was a barn made just to have weddings in. And this barn was in the middle of the woods that everyone who was invited to the wedding had to take these special buses she arranged, because the barn didn’t have parking. The bus I was scheduled to go on was late, and packed and crowded. It also got stuck in traffic for like forty-five minutes. It starts raining as soon as I get off the bus, and the wedding starts. It’s outside. She’s having the wedding outside in the rain, which I admit sucks for her. But her wedding is at a barn, and all the dirt turns to mud. My suede heels are ruined. The floors inside the barn are this strange concrete that is very slippery, people are slipping and almost falling. The bathrooms at the barn are an outhouse. I have to stay longer than I wanted to because the buses are only coming to let people leave at 11:30 pm and 3:30 am. I get on the bus at 11:30 pm, and there is an immensely drunk man on the ground of the bus who threw up all over the floor. I fell asleep watching Fargo in the hotel room after and didn’t even get to see my favorite part

[depressedhatakekakashi]

God of Storms Masterlist: Children Of the Gods.

Obito's Children

Hanako- Daughter of Obito and a mortal Princess. Adventurous and wild in nature Hanako packs her bags at age 18 and decides to travel the world. She lived for four hundred years and is known as the Demigod who never fought, but changed the world with all the knowledge she gathered.

Hina- Daughter of Obito and a farmer girl he spent three months with. Hina is a strong demi-god who enjoys getting into scraps and earning a title for herself as a great hero. She also bears the Henohenomoheji on her back as a small rebellion against her father. When he asks about it she says that it's because she's a farmer's daughter and a scarecrow protects the farmer's land. Obito will absolutely never hear the end of this from Kakashi.

Kimiko - Daughter of Obito and a male lover, Kimiko was born from the ground (much like Obito) and had life gifted to her by her Immortal father. Kimiko is not one to get herself into danger purposefully, but holds to the belief that 'if you start something, I will finish it'. She's known as a great warrior among mortals and is the youngest of Obito's children to die, only 97 when she falls in battle against a rival kingdom.

Kakashi's Children

Nakano: Daughter of the God of Storms and the Moral Prince Maito Gai. Nakano wasn't made in the same way as her demi-god cousins but was created from the passion shared between her fathers. Coming to life on the night before Gai's wedding, Nakano burst forward as a river right beside her papa's (Gai's) village. The following day when the villagers woke up they were surprised to find a brand new river had magically formed, and although they could not see her Nakano was there. Sitting by the water with a few turtles that had found their way there overnight, as if they'd known her river would be there. Nakano is known as the Goddess of Rivers.

Koji: Son of the God of storms (Kakashi) and the god of Justice (Ibiki), Koji was crafted by his father's passions. Except, unlike his half-sister, Koji was not created by positive passions. It was his father's anger and hurt that brought him to life. The way that the two of them stood together and brought down punishment on an entire village for their hand in destroying the life of a child, Koji burst from the River nearby and used the water that he came in on to wipe the village right off of the face of the earth. Calm and stern like Ibiki, Koji has a goofy nature that he keeps hidden. The only people he willingly shows that side to are his sister Nakano, his fathers, and Obito and Rin, who love trying to make him laugh.

Itachi and Hana's Child

Daisuke: Son of The god of honourable death (Itachi) and the Goddess of Animals (Hana), Daisuke is one of few full-fledged gods who was born in a more mortal way. Grown inside of his mother, Daisuke came out a teenager and was granted the position of God of Lost Animals. His job is to lead the soul of animals to the afterlife where they can play with the mortal souls that were taken in by his Father and Uncle. Daisuke is viewed as a wild child by mortals, running around the forests playing with animals and rescuing them from a terrible death by saving their souls before they pass. The truth, however, is that Daisuke is very down-to-earth and calm. With his father's relaxed personality and his mother's love for animals, Daisuke spends his days playing with the animals his mother cares for. He's also known for hanging around Hana most often because she cannot always save the animals she takes in. Everywhere he goes, Daisuke is followed by a black crow and a small white dog. Both animals are gifts to him from his parents and are the things that Mortals have come to recognize him by.

Rin's Kids

Most of Rin's children are created with Kisame. From the Mermaids that live inside of the ocean to the lower goddess' that tend to all of the sea creatures. There's no one child between the two and to list all of them would take forever.

Rin does have children with others, however. A fact that doesn't always go over well with Kisame.

Danuja: The son of the Goddess Sea (Rin) and a Mortal king. Danuja is a Demi-god destined to lead his village to a prosperous four hundred years. During his reign, his people excel at defense so much that no other kingdom is able to break down the walls of the kingdom until the day after Danuja passes. Kind and full of wisdom, he excels at Politics, always able to find a way to end a war peacefully. Danuja has multiple children of his own who go on to make their mark in the world, and his lineage is often used to 'prove' future kings' rights to the throne.

Hiroki: Son of Rin and the Mortal Maito Gai. Hiroki’s birth was controversial at first, specifically with Kakashi. Although Kakashi was upset about the union that created Hiroki, as soon as the child was born and left with Gai he found himself unable to do anything but love him as much as he would his own child. Hiroki is born a demi-god and lives amongst mortals for four-hundred years until his death, at which point Kakashi chooses to go against custom and turn him into a god. The move receives a lot of backlash from the other gods and earns Kakashi quite the lecture from Hashirama, Madara and Mito, but it’s the only time he doesn’t care about upsetting them. Both because Rin is happy when she sees her son alive and immortal, and because Hiroki is just as much as soon to Kakashi at this point as he is Rin and Gai. The god of Pediatrics, Hiroki is the first mortal to introduce the concept of medicine and medical practices specific to children. He does this after losing his child to an Illness that they had no knowledge about, at which point he dedicates the rest of his life to doing all he can to ensure no other parent has to experience the pain that he does. Born before Nakano was created, Hiroki acts as a big brother to the goddess of rivers. So much so that when he lost his child, Nakano was the one to retrieve her spirit and turn her into a river spirit that spends her days playing with the river otters. 

Hiroki’s animal is the eel, which becomes a symbol of medicine down the line (in some places it’s warped into being a snake, but the origins are of an eel). He especially loves electric eels, which always seem to swarm to him when he’s nearby them. 

His symbols include a mask which is always drawn/depicted over his face, and a red hair clip that was gifted to him by his mother. The hair clip is a gift that keeps Hiroki protected from all mortal illnesses, allowing him to work in any condition. His death ultimately came because the hairclip was broken, removing his protection and resulting in Hiroki being hit with an illness that his immune system was not prepared to fight.

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 26 - and this concludes my hell of a hair dying session from 31st of July last year. Reason for this was my cousin was having her wedding party that day and I thought it would be a good opportunity to dye my hair again. I've never listened to anything while dying my hair but somehow I remembered "hey, I haven't listened to Magnus in a while". I got through 9 episodes.

It's interesting to see, that Sasha here is referred to as assistant archivist. All three of them are archival assistants again in MAG 40.

"Let’s just call it ‘a series of paranormal sightings’." - How anti-climactic.

"Martin is a great researcher," - Aw, thanks Sasha! "but his self-preservation instincts are not the strongest" - And yet he survived until the very end.

Ohhhh, I like the music track when Sasha describes Michael through the glass! I will never not point that out when it's played.

"I’ve never had any direct experience with the supernatural before" / "I’ve always considered myself a bit of a sceptic, and until recently I’d have said working at the Institute only made me more so" - Girl, you worked in Artifact Storage and you hated it! You said, the Institute got enough there to send any sceptic packing! WHAT?

Jon already having a conversation with Tim about Robert Smirke… We know, Sasha wasn't supposed to be replaced right there in S1… Was it Tim, who should have been victim of the Not!Them? How would that backstory have turned out… I mean, the podcast as it is now has Tim invested in Smirke because his brother got killed while urbexing in one of Smirke's old structures.

"and the way he said it made me think that it definitely was not his name" - Interesting to see that the old "You're not Michael/Helen" debate started even there with Sasha.

"it wanted to help" / "and told me that I had no idea what was really going on" - I think it's a super unsettling that the Distortion knew exactly what was going on.

"amused by my attempts to understand." - Understanding is not the job of the Eye, Sasha.

"It said it wanted to be friends." - Classic Distortion.

"what with Tim’s April Fools’ joke and everything" - I actually love, that even with the funny or fluffy bits TMA is so vague. It is perfect for the fandom to bloom! We get to make up Tim's pranks! We get to think of what could have happened in the time when Jon was in his coma. The scottish safehouse! Upton House!

When Jon says "I, uh… I don’t really know." he actually lost a bit of his fake deep poshness there and in the following conversation with Sasha. He sounds a bit more like the Jon we get to see when he's become a punching bag.

Ahhh, so much foreshadowing there at the end. Not wanting to quit, not being able to quit. Rather wanting to know, what's going on…

Back when I first listened it was a great statement to end my tiny TMA marathon on because it once again left me "Yeaaaah!!! Things are happening!!!".

Love that much more than martin, Jon interjects Sasha's statement with comments and it feels so much like a conversation, they have great chemistry

Also, a 9 episode dye holy cow :0