#also another unrelated advice

[gallusrostromegalus]

I am constantly procrastinating working on my original fic by writing fanfic. Any advice for how to refocus and finish my novel?

Well. The novel probably needs a nap.

Procrastinating is a symptom that something is preventing you from doing the thing you "should" be doing. Most of the time it's an unrelated, but actually higher priority task like resting after an illness (society is fucking lying about anything else being more important) or filing your taxes (actually this one is pretty important).

...but if you're procrastinating on one creative project with another creative project, you're not procrastinating: something about the novel is off right now, the fanfic is more appealing to you.

Consider the following:

You may be writing fic because it brings you more joy than the novel. If you really want to get back to the novel, figure out what would make working on it more enjoyable. Engagement from a beta-editor? Skipping this really boring scene and coming back to it later? Adding more smut?

You may also be writing fic because it's got a lower spoon coat than the novel and you need to conserve your spoons right now. Any extra stress in your life? Moving? Toothache? Recovering from Covid? Annoying roommate? Sick family member? It's an election year? ANY of those could soak up extra spoons and make your novel too expensive for your spoons budget. Let it take a nap, and come back when you're feeling better.

You may be sharpening your artistic skills on a lower-stakes project before going back to the novel. This is pretty normal- even Michaelangelo took breaks to work on other pieces while sculpting The David, both for a change of pace and so he could try something out without fucking up the big block.

Fortunately, you're writing, so you can always try writing the challenging scene a dozen times in different docs or save the parts that were good but don't not in a spare parts bucket doc.

Or keep working on that fic, it's helping you learn on a subconscious level.

You don't love the novel right now. This is alright. This is usually temporary, and the solution is the same- put it aside and work on something else.

Maybe you are just bored of the novel. That's fine and normal, you just save all the documents to your hard drive and come back later. When the fic inevitably gets boring too, you'll come back to the novel and either go "oh hey this kicks ass!" And return to it with renewed enthusiasm.

...Or you'll come back to it and go "oh. This is actually a piece of shit" And that's okay too, because there's nothing more useless than polishing a turd, but that turd is still valuable as compost. You learned things writing it, and you can still rifle through the novel for good lines or scenes or turns of phrase and put those in your spare parts doc to ferment into The Good Shit in the back of your mind.

HOWEVER:

If you are experiencing a different phenomenon wherein you are actively distressed while writing the fic- either out of misplaced guilt, or the fic isn't actually fun you just feel compelled to do something, or absolutely every creative endeavor is stressing you out, you may be experiencing a serious mental or physical health issue and you should see your GP or a specialist ASAP. Pain is an indicator that something is wrong. Do not ignore your body's warning light.

That sounds really dramatic and hyperbolic but realizing I was not enjoying ANY creative work was the symptom that finally got me to sit down and go "huh. All these random pains, irregular sleep cycle, frequent migraines and weird bouts of vertigo aren't normal either, I should get this looked at." And it turned out I had dangerously low blood oxygen at night from undiagnosed sleep apnea. I have a CPAP machine now and it's AMAZING.

I really hope this is regular artistic shuffle and not a serious health concern, but if you're experiencing creative stress AND a bunch of other shit, it may be serious.

[ckret2]

@marsupials-of-mars submitted:

I was planning to do maybe a fic and more doodles of this but now I'm busy with school so I might as well show what I did do!

Based on how the goldilocks fic seems to posit that Bill at his best is a silly professor who loves to teach his own way

Introducing Professor Locke!

Things about this idea:

-post redemption, however that will go. I'm calling it an AU because I imagine it is not your plan for what happens after lol, but currently canon-compliant.

-Bill is at first not very on board with the idea of working in the higher education system. It's a scam and it's dumb that they tell adult people how to think.

-He's eventually convinced to bless Backupsmore with his tutelage, on the grounds that they're less stuck up there, they seem to care about giving their students opportunities despite their backgrounds, and the kids there care about learning rather than going to college just because their parents said they should.

-Ford uses his academic connections to vouch for Bill even though he is very mysterious and has no academic records. This is another reason why they picked Backupsmore: i's a little more lax when presented with a shockingly smart mystery professor. Bill gets an interview and charms the pants off the university president.

-He teaches "astrophysics" in theory (that's the job description) but he ends up teaching a little bit of everything.

-He's one of those professors you either adore or despise. He's very loud, often outright mean, and if you're too shy to speak up in class he does not give a SHIT about you. You gotta want it!

-However, his class is notoriously easy. He thinks homework and tests are facist, but he's required to have a curriculum, so his "quizzes" are like a few true or false questions and then a short answer where he asks something he thinks would be funny or wants to hear about, like "what's the dumbest thing another student has said in class since the last test and why was it dumb" or "fashion advice: what's the coolest thing I wore this last week? Extra credit: draw something cooler I SHOULD wear."

-as a result, students who have completely unrelated majors will take his class. If they end up being interested, he deems them worthy. If they're just there to be lazy, he will bully them into dropping out.

-Mabel buys him stickers to put on people's tests when they pass, or to just hand out when they something he likes. He gets along most with the college kids who know how to appreciate a classic gold star.

-He really wanted a big pretty lecture hall, where his voice would echo and he could point at a big chalkboard. But all Backupsmore could provide was a cinderblock and linoleum basement classroom. The lights buzz very loudly and it smells musty. They have stools and folding tables. Bill finds he enjoys the more intimate environment where he can walk between the tables and also sneak up on people.

-He's broken multiple folding tables by trying to do the cool professor thing where you hop up onto your desk and cross your legs and talk all casual. He is able to do this on his own desk thankfully. It's aluminum.

-Ford gets a bit nervous if he did the right thing when bill tells his school stories at the dinner table, so he finds an excuse to accompany Bill to a campus event where he can meet some of his students.

-His fears are quickly assuaged when he sees how beloved Bill is and how well he gets along with the kids. When he eventually joins in on one of these conversations, one of the students asks if he's Sixer. The students are excited by this. Bill tries to shut them up, to partial success.

OK I guess I just ended up writing the fic more or less so enjoy I guess lol.

Aww, this is adorable! Thank you! (And the fact that you're imagining a future for Bill makes me so happy.) He's absolutely be the weirdest professor in the school and he'd ADORE having a crowd full of trusting impressional minds whose parents are paying him to change the way they think. Talk about playing to his strengths.

Your idea is so wholesome, meanwhile the moment I saw "Professor Bill" I went,

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @chaaistheanswer

Hi everyone! I am Clara, but you can also call me chaa! I am a digital artist based in Auckland, New Zealand, with a bachelor’s degree in Creative Media Production. After graduating from uni, I moved out to pursue my art career and I’ve been a freelance digital artist ever since. I love concept art, especially character design! Creating characters influenced by my love for fantasy is what I live for. Thank you for stopping by, and I hope you enjoyed my art! And thank you, Tumblr, for this opportunity!

Check out our interview with Clara below!

Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?

I specialized in art in high school and have a bachelor’s degree in Creative Media Production from Massey University with an animation pathway. For our thesis film, which I worked on with several of my classmates, I took on the role of producer, art director, and concept artist. Our short film was featured in the Wellington Film Festival Terror-Fi in 2020. After graduating, I went on to become a freelance artist, but my goal is to work for the gaming industry as a character concept artist. Ever since I first picked up a pencil, I knew I wanted to become an artist!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

Art block is quite common among artists, and unfortunately, I too have fallen prey to the affliction. I have several ways of overcoming art block: watching movies, playing games, reading, or going out for a drive with my sister. These are just a few things I love to do to help keep my creative juices flowing!

What is one habit you find yourself doing a lot as an artist?

I tend to obsessively research about completely unrelated topics while I draw. I find learning new things helps improve my concept designs, especially in creating backgrounds for my characters.

Over the years as an artist, what were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?

Video games and anime were my biggest inspirations! Anything with a captivating story that’ll send me to the edge of my seat, and loveable characters. I’m particularly drawn to high and dark fantasy.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

Technology has made a huge impact on us artists over the last few years. I used to draw a lot on paper, but since getting a tablet, I find myself searching for the undo and redo buttons and even trying to zoom constantly while I draw on paper. I used to only draw for myself as well, but after posting my art online, I now have an audience to whom I can share my art. Because of this, I am able to earn a living doing what I love by creating illustrations for clients.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

I am very proud of this recent commission I’ve done for a client! Fortunately, the piece turned out exactly how I wanted it to look, and my client was very happy with the result. I am also in the process of working on a Webtoon, which is going as smoothly as I hoped it would be before its re-release!

What advice would you give to younger you about making art that's personal or truthful to your own experiences?

The best advice I would give my younger self is to never hold back! Try not to think about the negatives of creating and sharing art that you believe in. Embrace vulnerability, and don’t be afraid to dig deep into your own emotions and experiences. Always explore, and don’t limit yourself to your own bubble. And most important of all, stay true to yourself! Stay true to your values and beliefs, and never compromise your own authenticity for the sake of pleasing others. Your art is a reflection of you as a person.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

@yuumei-art has been an inspiration to me since my early Deviantart days. I admire how she uses her skills to focus on environmentalism and cyber activism. @nipuni is another inspiration of mine. I found her when I was in the process of recovering from Dragon Age Solavellan hell. I admire how she manages to capture faces well while also sticking to her style. Her paintings are so beautiful and very pleasing to my eyes!

Thanks for stopping by, Clara! If you haven't seen her Meet the Artist piece, be sure to check it out here. For more of Clara's work, follow her Tumblr, @chaaistheanswer!

[minhosimthings]

Girl Dad!Skz headcannons

Pairings: husband!Skz × wife!fem!reader

Warnings: fluff fluff fluff, mentions of pregnancy, reader wears a dress, mentions of food, teensy swearing

A/N: GUESS WHO HAS BABY FEVER AYY ITS THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE. I am so DONE with watching my fav idols play with babies and not expect me to die. WHERE IS MY CHAN WHO'LL GIVE MR A BABY HUH? anyways enjoy my very drunken headcannons

Bang Christopher Chan

DID I JUST HEAR BEST DAD IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD

This man was born to be a dad istg

He'd be so amazing when you're pregnant, like he'd ask his mom for advice, give you belly rubs if your ask and will willingly lend his entire closet to you.

Would be so supportive through the birth process, is not disgusted or anything because he is him.

"She looks just like you."

Would be just a teensy bit overprotective, just a teensy bit.

"And you will bring her back by 7 yes? Oh and what's your address for unrelated purposes?"

*sends the address to Minho incase he needs to murder anyone*

Would be so comforting when she gets her period

"you know I used to do this to your mother.", While massaging her back.

The baby would grow up multilingual and Chan would be so smug about it

"my daughter is my second producer

Lee Minho/Lee Know

Would have such mixed emotions when you tell him you're pregnant

On the one hand A PERSON MADE UP OF BOTH OF YOU? WOAH

On the other hand OH SHIT A PERSON WHO HAS BOTH OUR GENES

Cooks all your weird ass cravings for you but not before giving you a side eye

"Alright y'all are gonna get a sibling." *Is talking to the cats*

Buys everything cat themed

"baby what if the baby is a dog person?"

Y'all have twins, a boy and a girl (manifesting my twin dad Minho fantasies)

Would dance for them when they're babies and would get elated when they try to copy him

Pouts when their first word is mama

Brags so much about them

"I mean they are MY spawn, obviously they're better at dance than your kid, Susan"

Seo Changbin

GIRL DAD GIRL DAD GIRL DAD

So elated when you tell him you're pregnant

PREGNANT CUDDLES KZKSNSNJ

Would be a 100% on board with lifting your belly to save your back

When you find out it's a girl, he straight on sobs.

"I CAN'T HANDLE ANOTHER PAIR OF ADORABLE YN EYES LOOKING AT ME"

Holds the baby extra carefully in his buff ass arms

She looks like you part 2

Tea parties with her are serious buisness for him

"jagi can't you see im currently discussing with the princess about her magical dragon I'll do the dishes later."

Would probably ask her if she wants to go to the gym with her dad and when she says yes he'd be so happy

"you're better than your mother she can't even lift her ass up and go to the gym"

Hwang Hyunjin

When I say this man would paint you a portrait when you tell him you're pregnant-

HE'LL PAINT YOU A FUCKING PORTRAIT

So sweet with you all throughout but also a nervous wreck

Much like me

Would love to paint your belly if you allow him to

Would try your weird cravings with you

And actually like them

Let's not pretend like Hyun doesn't do the pregnant woman pose everyday

Cries so hard when your baby is born

He doesn't mind the gender or anything, but when he found out it's a girl-

"GUYS ITS A MINI Y/N"

She looks like you part 3

Such a clumsy mess when it comes to taking care of her

ART CLASSES ART CLASSES ART CLASSES

"Darling, we painted this for you."

Han Jisung

Immediately freezes when you tell him

Jisung.exe has stopped working

"wait so the protection didn't.... Protect?"

Now Y/N.exe has stopped working trying to figure out whether you actually used protection or not

Talks to your belly all day

Treats the baby like a gossip partner

"girl you won't believe what Hyunjin did today."

"what did he do?"

"yn shush I'm talking to our baby girl."

Is your personal high school cheerleader during the birth

"jagi you are slaying right now you can do this."

Cries when baby is born part 3

Calls her a co-producer part 2

Spoils her shitless

She has him wrapped around her finger, much like her mother :)

Making playlists with her is his love language

Lee Felix Yongbok

Did I just hear breeding kink

Cries when you tell him

Bakes so many brownies when you tell him like one time that you're craving his brownies

Makes your weird cravings part 3

Idk what it is with me and DanceRacha making all your weird cravings

Runs you baths, with bath salts, bath bombs, scented candles and massages your aching muscles I WILL DIE RIGHT NOW

Is the best during the birth, holds your hand allowing you to squeeze it as hard as you want

Dresses baby up like the fashionista she is

Is so amazed and ecstatic when the baby gets an Aussie accent

"JAGI SHE JUST SAID BREKKIE"

Kim Seungmin

Tsundere daddy meow

Will literally melt like his face will be like 🥺

Buys all the cute stuff on day one

I'm talking cradles, blinkies, toys, bonnets for some reason

"of course she needs a ponyo outfit darling come on"

Tones down his teasing a bit

Still makes fun of your penguin walk tho

And if you cry, he will comfort you and never forgive himself for it

Is kinda disgusted by the birth process but he's a strong soldier

Cries when baby is born part 4

Like Kim Seungmin crying is a real thing chat

Singing lessons are free for her, and she has her dad's angel voice!!

Also inherits her dad's roasting style, and she's the only one who can roast him back hehe

He kinda died inside when she told him he was old (he's never been prouder)

Yang Jeongin/ I.N

Bruh this guy istg

Mixed emotions part 2

"IM TOO YOUNG TO HAVE A CHILD"

Calms down eventually (after a slap on the head)

BELLY RUBS

Spoils the shit out of you because obviously

Asks his mum for advice part 2

Sings to your belly at night when he thinks you're asleep

Secretly hopes baby will have his dimple

He loves kids, so parenting is a natural thing that comes to him

Probably more experienced at holding a baby than you are

Feeds her for the first few days when you're tired

Perfect husband honestly he should marry me

Loves braiding her hair and giving her fashion advice

Mini fashion shows!!!

Dances with her a lot

[qcomicsy]

AITA for firing my 18 year old from his job?

I (M33) have my son (M18) working for me nonsalaried in the family business since he was 10 years old. We had our share of arguments (regarding the job and other personal matters) and he started to live with his friends in another city ever since he moved out for college. He has his own job there too (with his roommates), but since it's a city away, his college, other job and personal life has making lack on the job I gave him lately, (even though he should be absolutely capable of assuming both responsibilities).

So last month when he showed up late to the job again, I told him that this job is serious, that it's a war out there, and I need my second lieutenant, anything less than total devotion is a waste of time and fired him off the job. After that, he told me he was leaving, I asked him to give his uniform back, and we haven't spoken with each other ever since.

I thought (and still do) that was the most logical conclusion to make but ever since my fight with him, a close family member (M??) (that helped me raise him) said I was out of line and I have “impossible standards” regarding my children, at pretty much the same week a friend of work called me asking if I didn't go too far this time (he knows about the altercation because my son visited him to ask advice about the matter). Also, the same family member who I mentioned previously refuses to talk to me without any snark or bitter remark as some form of “punishment” ever since my fight with my son.

My son hasn't called yet about the matter and I won't call him either.

On an unrelated note, I also just adopted another child (M12) and put him to work in the place my eldest had in the family business, and he's (my eldest) been acting extremely upset over that even though he tries not to show it. I don't understand why, since he couldn't do the job and my youngest wanted it. It just felt logical to put another person to do it.

TLDR: My son was unable to be a reliable person to keep the unpaid work I gave him ever since he was a child because of his other job, college and personal life in another city so I fired him and put my other new adopted son in his place and now work colleagues and family members has been implying I'm an asshole for it

AITA?

[semperamans]

yk that one clip of joseph quinn fixing lupita nyongos dress strap when i slipped on the red carpet and picturing benny doing that so casually GIRLL

grrrrrrr woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof

also known as the two times benny adjusts your clothing and the one time he doesn't :) (ft johnny because i am so insane)

slight voyeurism? LOL! i am FUCKING NUTS and i am so sorry! smut happens below the read more line, so only venture down there if you feel up for it!

it’s the first day of summer and benny couldn’t be any happier even if he tried. the guys think he’s snorting something or off his fucking rocker because he’s smiling. he’s got that dazed, happy-go-lucky look he usually only has when you’re around, but this is constant and has been since the club made the three hour journey to this lakeside piece of paradise. it’s not like a run where benny has to stay on high alert. it’s not club business, more of a family gathering, and he’s is just happy. can’t a guy be fuckin’ happy? right now he’s laying on the sun warmed grass, tan skin still glistening with leftover lake kisses. he can hear cockroach and his son somewhere over on the rickety pier, their bobbers plinking in the water, and the not-so-welcome advice from zipco who is a self-proclaimed master fisher. corky, cal, and sonny are hunting for frogs, the fucking bozos, with their swim trunks pulled up to their belly buttons, knees sinking quickly into the sweet smelling swell of the lakeside. they’re giggling damn near louder than the girls who are bouncing each other popcorn style on the trampoline and, fuck, benny just really likes life right now and likes it even better when something blocks the sun from his face and he opens his eyes to sees you. you’re wearing a swimsuit and a big smile and benny can’t help it. he reaches up, grabbing your arm, and with a swift pull, you’re toppling onto him. a squealing giggle bursts from your lips as you attempt to squirm away, but it’s no use. “you’re gettin’ me all wet!” “thought you liked when i did that?” your eyes widen, hand playfully coming to cup his mouth shut. in all the commotion your swimsuit strap has slipped and now loosely dangles near your elbow where benny just can’t help but look. you move together, your hand sliding from his mouth, fingers brushing through his damp curls; his callused fingertips birthing goosebumps as he situates the strap to its rightful position. “gimme a kiss?” he asks, taking your face between his palms. he tastes like summer.

the days melt into one another all hot and sticky like dripping ice cream. summer’s heat is unrelenting and benny has an almost radiant golden glow to his skin. the respite from the city has all of you slowing down, appreciating the little things: the way the sun tucks herself into the lake at night, the sweet zing of homemade tea, the giggle of gail and brucie's baby girl, and how capturing these moments together somehow bring each of you closer. it's not hard to adjust to this lifestyle. your days consist of swimming and baking and laughing and drinking and telling stories and hiking and you even find a liking for astronomy when the stars you’re studying happen to form new constellations on benny’s shoulders and down his spine. somehow he's more handsome here, if it's possible and tonight he's hauntingly beautiful in the sun's dying glow and angelic against the wavering bonfire flames that flick warmth over your chilling bodies. you can't stop looking at him but cal, who refuses to sit still, has finally wired that damn radio the right way and it crackles to life. there are cheers all around, beers hoisted skyward as a bluesy country song everyone seems to know hisses out of the aged speakers. perched atop stumps and spread over foldable chairs, a singalong begins. the boys drunkenly toss their arms over one another, lifting their chins to serenade the moon. even benny joins in. he's got one arm around you, the other holding tightly to johnny's waist as he sings with this elvis-like intonation. he looks down at you and can't explain it but you just look like you're his. maybe it's the t-shirt you're wearing, but no, it can't be. it's gotta be johnny's, benny's shirts are big on you but not so big that the collar droops down past your collarbone. benny likes it and grins and tells you he likes it and rights the fabric before pinching your cheek because god you're fucking cute.

it's five beers, four shots, and three singalongs later when johnny notices two people are missing. he rises, all wobbly legs and swirling colorful flashes as he extracts himself from the group. when did you and benny slip away? he can't seem to remember and it's not a big deal, not really, but he misses the two of you and just wants to see what you're up to and oh. he shouldn't be watching but his feet have grown roots. he can only see benny at first; the corded muscles in his back waning and flexing with exertion. but then he hears you. my god. the soft little gasp you puff into the air, the way you so delicately say benny's name like you're savoring the flavor of each letter-dragging them out, rolling them over your tongue. johnny shouldn't be watching. shouldn't be watching. can't stop watching. can't turn away. can't stop himself from uprooting his feet and moving over, over, over until he can see both of you clearly. you're pressed against someone's car, one hand splayed over the candy-red paint the other on benny's shoulder, nails biting into the flesh and johnny feels like a fucking freak and maybe he is but he'll worry about that later because benny. benny. benny. that's what you keep saying and your eyes are watery, he can make out their glint through the darkness thanks to the moonlight and he knows you, knows you cry when there’s a lot going on and there is a lot going on. there is pure desperation in your voice and you’re making these delicate preening whines and fuck you're still wearing the shirt. his shirt. the shirt you slipped from his bag then so innocently swore you didn't take. his shirt. and maybe you and benny want him there and that's why you're still wearing that shirt while benny, while he- jesus. it's rucked up and dirty and pooling over the leg you've got thrown around benny's hip but you don't make any move to fix it and now you're close. somehow the three of you are already so close to the edge and how special is that? sharing something so intimate even though you and benny have no idea. close. that's what you say as you bury your face into benny's neck, as your nails bite deeper and draw blood. close as you look up and lock eyes with johnny then you're no longer close but tumbling over the brink and down into rippling, blissful oblivion.

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Picked an episode at random to watch while doing stuff and forgot it was the one with the take me (in a fight)(suggestive beer slurp)(Buck was like doing weird stretch squats at the start of this conversation why did he do that)(real talk I forgot this episode also has eddie talking to Frank about not being able to feel anything but still going to therapy because he doesn't want chris to become closed off like him and now here we have Buck who, when Eddie tries to dismiss another apology, says he's not over it and wants to talk about it, immediately showing Eddie an example -from another man his age who he sees as a peer and not like a respected advice giver like bobby- of not shutting yourself off and letting yourself feel and work through negative emotions even when they're you're own fault/something you're mad at yourself about)(and all this acted like the start of a porno)(Buck's just wiggling around this kitchen. Hey Eddie you wanna put your hands on my body. You wanna make it hurt.)(also unrelated but also in this episode, Bobby just a little bit raising his voice while telling Hen "it was an accident" about the ambulance crash. Man. He knows how it feels. He knows how it feels to have killed someone(s) and for official paperwork let you off scot-free.)(anyway. Blow jobs?) kitchen scene

[sophie-frm-mars]

I just wanna gush about DBT for a second

DBT saved my life so I'm gonna spend a moment telling everyone how helpful it can be because I know there are a lot of people with BPD out there who need to hear it.

so cluster B personality disorders are characterised by, among other things "unrelenting crisis" - this is the combination of the feeling that every small problem you encounter is just yet more insurmountable bullshit and the reality that you have a lot of bad shit going on in your life, some of caused by the wider world beyond your control and inevitably some of it self-inflicted. The problem is, to someone who is constantly activated and feels life as this kind of non stop catastrophe, it's really hard to practice skills learned in therapy to do anything about it AND it feels impossible to judge what is an appropriate thing to spend your energy on, where to even begin tackling your problems.

The group component of DBT is explicitly justified in the therapists' manual as tackling this, which I think is genius. A borderline patient will bring new problems to their therapist every week and not focusing on them will trigger feelings of abandonment but the patient will definitely have forgotten all about this problem and moved onto a new one by next session or the one after so you have two therapies, one talk therapy one-on-one and the other a group setting like a class where you learn the DBT skills, and then in the group setting no patient feels like they're being especially ignored by the therapist because they're all there to learn the skills as peers. I just think that's really clever

The bit that really whips though is the skills around Accumulating positive experiences and Building mastery. Okay so your life feels like shit, right? Like one shit thing after another? Your therapy is to have a nice time and get better at something in a way that makes you proud. There's a whole acronym for the skills you need to use to keep yourself well, ABC PLEASE, but C and PLEASE are all essentially preventative skills to stop you having an actively bad time or worsening your mental health, and A and B (Accumulate positive experiences, Build mastery) are the ones where you're proactively creating your life worth living and I love it so much.

Accumulating Positive Experiences really does just mean having a nice time in an intentional way. It can literally be watching TV, it can be whatever you want, but you approach it thinking about what will make good experiences that will actively make you feel like you are leading a life worth living. My girlfriend and I went to the planetarium and took edibles last month and it owns so hard that according to DBT that's therapy

Building Mastery is all about helping you get a sense of momentum and direction by improving at something, ideally something that isn't also what you do for work. I know "get a hobby" seems like such basic advice for helping someone out of a rough time but like I've been bouldering since early last year and seeing myself get better at it has been impossibly good for me.

I've been getting into cooking this year as one of my Building mastery practices, at first just regularish like "how can I feed myself in a way that feels like I'm showing myself care at all" like finally learning how to make some of the comfort foods I had in childhood like beef stew, or trying out new things on my very basic salmon, potatoes and broccolli, like teriyaki glaze on broccolli or making hasselback potatoes. Then after a while it became a thing where I felt confident enough to actually thing about a little project and do it like around when my gf and I started officially dating I made her roast lamb and dauphinoise potatoes (nothing photographs well, sorry in advance lol), or we started rewatching Twin Peaks and I really wanted cherry pie so I made my own, which I had never done before!

and at the same time as improving at that stuff I felt like I was good enough at it that cooking for other people was a way I could show them care, which was something I had always wanted but never put in the time to making a reality.

In The Endings Machine: Technology & Teleology I talked about how cooking vegan food in groups is more effective in several ways that going vegan yourself and afterwards my sister (who helped with recording) said to me and a friend "I've been thinking about this ever since filming, we should do this!" and we've been holding a rotating vegan group meal at other's places fortnightly since then, and it's been really good! (This idea btw was partly inspired by my time on the ZAD where communal living leads to group cooking on a rotation, mostly vegan) For the first one I made a spicy mushroom pasta, then I had to bring the dessert to one and I made a vegan chocolate tart with coconut milk instead of dairy making a coconut chocolate filling and it was SOOO good

Last week the vegan meal was at mine again and it fell on halloween so we invited more people and arranged a little spooky movie screening and I made SOOO much food and it was all fucking fantastic. My gf and I made dhal makhani, aubergine rice, parathas, vegan raita and onion bhajis and served them with some mango chutney and some oven-cook samosas that were just from big tesco. I'm so fucking proud of myself, I've never cooked this much before and it went so well! I guess what I really want to get across is how looking at this from the DBT perspective I gotta get across how good this shit is for your mental health and how absurdly well it dovetails with building community.

There are all sorts of other ways Accumulating positive experiences and Building mastery help, because DBT is a very holistic approach to helping people get better - like if you know what things you like doing and you plan them to be available to you, you know that you're going to be happy with your own company, which means if you're having a shit time around someone else you're happy saying "I would be having a better time being alone right now" and just leaving. That makes it easier to live up to your self-respect goals, which are a big part of the DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills, as well as helping to tackle every cluster B girlie's deep seated fear of abandonment.

I could go on an on, but the salient thing right now is that there are a lot of people struggling with stuff I relate to as someone who has had my shit rocked by Borderline Personality Disorder for years and years, and I know that the biggest feeling at core is like "what is this all for? what is the thing that we are all trying to do in the space we are chaotically scrabbling to try to clear all the time?" and this is the answer: you want to accumulate positive experiences and build mastery, and when you get to doing it you have such a profoundly more grounded sense of being in the world, of what it is that's worth being here for and what stands in the way of life just being like that for everyone and a more meaningful drive to try and make it be that way for everyone.

I also wanna go on and on about how Interpersonal Effectiveness makes everyone better at organising too, but I think the Life Worth Living is the better sales pitch for DBT. idk in short a close friend pitched it to me a little while ago that all leftists should learn DBT and it would make the revolution way easier and the more I live of my life worth living the more I agree.

[dentiststoothfairy]

hello! can i ask a norton,Aesop,and naib

with an s/o that got really hurt during a match like it injured the whole right side of there s/o face and also made their s/o loss there right eye? so like at first another survivor told them you got hurt so they went to you thinking you just got a scratch or something but they didn't expect to find there s/o in a puddle of their own blood holding the right side of there face because it got hit with a flare gun which exploded right when it hit the right side of there face,

(it's fine if you don't want to do this or your not comfortable writing it, that's fine but thanks for taking the time out of your day to read my request(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

🟢 𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐁 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐀𝐑 🟢

Accidents occasionally happen in the manor, which always gets on his nerves. It's just the soldier in him.

No room for mistakes with this one.

So when he found out you were in an accident with a flare gun, he was pretty pissed off.

THIS is why people can't afford to fuck up, anytime, any day. Because people like you get fucking hurt.

Cracking his knuckles for a totally unrelated reason guys don't worry.

Emily was pretty stern with him before letting him into her little nursing room that she made for injuries after matches.

Don't apply extra stress on the wound.

Allow for proper rest.

Don't let them apply for matches until their face is at LEAST 77% healed and that's if we're being generous.

As Emily listed off the rules, Naib just got more agitated.

Had something like. Actually gone wrong?

And once he saw you. Holy fucking shit.

Memories came flooding back.

It was like. Actively sort of triggering him. Looking at you like that.

As Emily applied the final bandages to your face to make sure you wouldn't get infected, he couldn't look at you.

Not that he thought you were ugly, no no. It was. Physically painful to see the one he utterly adored to be in that position.

A position his friends were in so long ago.

He tries to get you to rat out who did it. He just wants to talk.

Once the healing is done and it turns out you've lost an eye. He honestly feel sick, for you. Again, he isn't any less attracted to you. But it's. It's so raw for him. It takes him a while to feel okay.

He has war trauma guys.

🍩𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋 🍩

He's a little more careless than Naib, so when he heard about an accident in a duos match.. He didn't really bat an eye.

You were tough, he trusted you. Although, he'd still pretty fucking upset. Like. Come on. How the hell did that even happen in the first place? In fact, the news that an "accident" occurred kind of unnerved him.

And like Naib, Emily gave him a run down on how to treat the wound. Which he could only scoff at.

He knew how to treat a wound like that. Especially a facial wound.

*vaguely gestures to his face*

And. GOD. his reaction to your face.

FUCK DUDE.

It hurts him knowing that you've gone through the EXACT same thing that he has.

Unlike Naib, he doesn't struggle to look at you from guilt. No. He doubles down.

He's extra attentive to you, although he basically discards Emily's advice, he handles it in his own... Mr Mole sort of way.

⚰️ 𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐎𝐏 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐋 ⚰️

He's pretty expressionless on the daily. It's hard to read his eyes especially with the mask, so when someone br𝐪oke the news that something happened to you during a match.. It was hard to gauge his reaction.

Internally, he was pretty conflicted actually.

One half - was he finally allowed to preserve you for your beauty? No scar or scratch or anything could ever doubt your luminescence to him.

On the other half -

If you weren't already dead...

ARE YOU OKAY?

He was stressed, very stressed.

Anyways. He's actually not a germaphobe as one would expect from the gloves and the mask. So when Emily advised him to watch after you carefully, he listened cautiously.

Once he saw your face

He didn't flinch.

"Oh dear,... Poor [Y/N]...are you feeling alright?"

Probably the only time Emily saw him actually interact with someone like.. A normal human ngl.

Aesop doesn't blink twice.

When I say nothing could tear his eyes from you, I mean nothing.

Lost eye, half scarred face, burnt skin smelling like a chicken dinner.

He truly believes you are the most beautiful th. FINE. FINE. HE'LL PUT DOWN THE SYRINGE :((

U don't love him anymore.... And u hate him 😔 u want him dead /j

[godsstrongestangel]

Astro notes - 2

This post is definitely for my softies and also I'll be talking about positive side of signs I shot in my previous post

The element of your moon sign tells how other feels when they come to you during tough times

Air moons will make u forget about ur problems and lighten up the mood also makes jokes as well they are funny and u will realise things are not that serious :)

Water moons will make u feel seen and heard they will hug u n comfort u, might even cry with u :)

Earth moons will make u feel grounded and calm u will realise things aren't that bad n they can be solved :)

Fire moons are they type to motivate you and encourage with lots of positive words, they might even start speaking some quotes or wise words to fire u up :)

Venusians suns with leo moon are great to get advices if u dont like to do the thinking part they can also save u from making stupid mistakes but dont take advice from them if u r not gonna follow through cuz some yall love askin for advices but end up doin wt u wanted in the first place 😭🤣if they find out be prepared for consequences (yes there are consequences n im not telling which one)

Capricorns moon do give this vibe of being well put together, they might not be emotionally but definitely practically so u can really learn from them when it comes to making rational decisions in life.

Libra suns are great to be weird with infact they will adapt ur personality so if u want another lil u befriend a libra sun

I heard this on a reel long time ago it said that air energy is great because it can transcend but if it is underdeveloped it can become gossipy and vain so all my fellow air placement people must develop their energy

Tips for developing air energy would be - meditating, drawing, journaling ur feelings i.e. writing them down with no filter though these habits are great for everyone but its a must for air signs if u want me to explain why u can tell me I'll do it on another post

Dating an aquarius venus is great because they will give u space and freedom and also they wont loose interest in u unlike other venus signs who might give u space and adventure but will loose interest quickly as well (just make sure u tell ur aqua venus partner that u will be busy for this much time they r just happy with knowing u r theirs n please dont break their trust if u have agreed for monogamy although yall should communicate well with all signs)

Speaking of air venus communication is a must for all of them because speaking and talking is their main way of expressing their emotions

Aquarius venus might not be that possessive with their partners but they can be with their bestfriends

If you find a sagittarius sun who is not that famous it could be because they are not sagittarius dominant

Make out sessions with cancer suns can leave u feeling good (not so sure about sex though) good tip for anyone who might wanna burst into a hookup or smthng

Speaking of hookup ik its unrelated to astrology i think its much better to just make out or do oral/mutual masturbation bcuz sex itself is not that pleasurable,its overrated plus its dangerous on a spiritual level bcuz there is always a risk of soul tie u r not missing out if u dont do penetrating sex trust me on that

Now i mark the end pheww.. Just another day helpin yall with my wise words

[missisjoker]

Cannibal!Cregan

When Cregan Stark mixes his northern blood with the fiery blood of Jacaerys Velarion, the magic stirs beneath the roots of the weirwood tree and bursts free, like the fire of the Fourteen Flames.

Soon after the southern prince leaves for Dragonstone, Lord Stark starts having dreams. He's had similar dreams before- tracing the autumn forest with soft steps of a wild cat, watching Winterfell from above through the eagle's eyes, hunting elk in the skin of a dire wolf.

But it was never... this. He felt wild and untamed and beastly before, but now? He feels like his veins are like molten metal burning from within, a deep-rooted fire churning with every heartbeat. His dreams are filled with ash and smoke, and he soon realizes he must be dreaming of being a dragon.

So, he writes to Jace to ask for advice. But he can't say it outright, or else his prince - and naturally, the Queen- would think he's lost his wits. So, he tries to be a little more cryptic, hoping Jace would understand since the prince's family is no stranger to magic or dragons.

Jace, in his eagerness of youth, misses the meaning completely and instead thinks Cregan is trying to confess his love for him (and Cregan does love him deeply, but he would tell that face to face, not betray it to a piece of parchment). He writes back, confessing his own feelings.

That almost wrecks Cregan- because he wishes to have his prince next to him, to kiss him eagerly, to mate him... All while his dragon dreams become more fierce, and more real.

It takes him a few nights to make peace with the thought that he is warging into a dragon- an untamed and wild dragon at that. It takes him a few more weeks of excruciating battle of wills to bind the dragon to his mind. He doesn't want to, but he is a practical man. If using this gift fulfills his promise to Jace and stops the war, and if it spares the lives of his men- then so be it. The dragon is unrelenting, so Cregan sends more letters to Jace explaining his predicament, his fear that he will lose his mind to the beast, and, if that's the case- his final loving farewell to his prince.

Then he prepares himself, wrestles full control from the dragon, and flies to King's Landing. He perches on the Red Keep's tower, watching as the guards scramble below, waiting. Then, when he sees a man with targaryen white hair and a crown, he eats him. When another blond man with an eye patch comes running out of the gate, he eats him too. And then he leaves.

Cregan comes back to his senses drenched in sweat, shivering and aching. He marched after the greybeards south, but didn't make much progress because dragon dreams left him almost crippled. He only manages to finish a bath and dress up when he hears in the back of his scull Vermax screech and roar in the skies above; and then he sees his prince land into the yard.

Jace throws himself on Cregan, worried sick and horrified to lose him, but also incredibly grateful and amazed... because only a few hours before he was told that a wild, riderless dragon has eaten the usurper and Aemong and thus ended the war.

Cregan drinks up Jace's kisses and tears like a drowning man gulps for air, but has to stop because he feels - deep in his bones- that the dragon he warged into, the Cannibal, is furious and coming for his vengeance. Dragon is no slave, and he will have to pay the price.

He tells Jace to leave, that he will face the beast alone, but Jace cups his face in his princely hands and tells him no. They will face whatever the gods send their way together. Besides, Jace might just be able to deal with the dragon.

(Everybody lives. Jace proves he can charm anyone- including a wild, angry, untamed dragon out for blood. Cannibal gets a herd of 50 sheep for devouring and another 10 sheep weekly doordashed to his lair on Dragonstone. Vermax gets a new grumpy friend. Cregan gets a rider.)

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Another one of my silly Epic headcannons is that Athena was also training baby Diomedes while she was training baby Ody.

Now while she helped heros Athena tended to try to not be at all involved with them. She even chose a champion but kept her distance. That is until her champion just decided to eat a guys brain.

She decided that not only she needed a new champion she needed someone she could mold so they would met her standards and more importantly not comit canibalism in front of her for no reason. First move magic boar.

Except she got bored no one was solving her test and did a move that would have very different results when repeated and went check on Tydeus kid. Six years old Diomedes was smart, dedicated and thanks to being raised as a child soldier already really good with a spear. And she was like "oh perfect". Unlike Ody, Dio is shy and very awed/respectfull at first.

Less than a year later ten year old Odysseus solves her test (now Diomedes is sayed to be four when his dad died, I'm not making that one up, but Ody's age is very open, Epic implies he already had Athena when he became king at 13 so I'm going with 10, the boar was his Pokemon journey). So she now has two chances.

She never figths with Diomedes but they get distant for a bit. When she goes for Telemachus she is hoping for second Diomedes and instead she remembers that a) Ody is one of her kids at this point b) she actually likes Odysseus c) Ody didn't ate people. Besides 3 warriors are better than one. She soons recognizes she just has 3 mortal friends.

Before the Troyan War Dio and Ody were not friends, buddies, Diomedes gay awakening, and in fact didn't know about the other except via Athena weird questions. Some memorable moments:

- When Odysseus becames king and is overwhelmed by anxiety and sadness over his father condicion. Athena goes "Diomedes what humans do when their fathers go mad" and Dio is "my dad is dead" + "how do I deal with my human being sad and anxious and make sure he'll be a good king when he is a child?" "I'm literally nine"

- Athena fails to explain her worries about Diomedes fate as a kid soldier and instead Ody is fully convinced she wants him to invade Thebes and starts to get ready for when the order comes. "Okay, goddess, for real do you want me to invade Thebes or not?" and Athena is like "No, but hypotetically if it distressed you" "It does sound distressing" "How do I help a crying human" "Have you tried conforting them? Maybe offer a hug."

- Thanks to Odysseus Athena knows puberty is a big deal for humans. But unlike Ody, Dio does not have active and present parents to help. So Athena goes to older teen Ody "how did your parents give you the talk?" and Odysseus is fully dying of embarassmenet after the conversation is over but Athena now has enough notes to give a sort of decent talk to her other kid.

- The moment Diomedes turns 17 Athena is fully expecting another "pleasepleasepleaseplease help me with Penelope" situation so they have akwards "Do you want me to like wingman you" conversations for a bit. [When Diomedes actually starts liking someone it is Odysseus and Athena is just "you have bad taste good luck with that one" and very unhelpfull].

- After getting bad advice from Dionysus and trolling from Apollo, Athena finally goes to her other human to ask for help about not noticing her human was expecting + tiny baby in no armor. Diomedes got his talk from Athena and suddently realizes he actually has no idea how babies are born and has very weird conversations with his war friends.

- Athena is fully used to talking to her champions and not being heard by anyone else. This cauuses a small problem when she is trying to advice Odysseus about Iphigenia and Diomedes is fully "what are you talking about?" and that how the War Crimes (with Extra Lying) Trio is founded.

- Unrelated but after realizing Telemachus could think it really was a Tydeus situation except with forgiving Athena goes to Telemachus to assure him his dad was not a family-murdering cannibal. Telemachus knows Ody would never kill his family but he had never even considered his father and cannibal in the same sentence before and is very concerned over why Athena felt the sudden urge to promisse him his dad never ate people.

[golvio]

Quietly obsessing over the fact that, based on how you can get to The Fury in the base game, Voice of the Stubborn will be the common denominator of the two possible starting routes, but also that his role in Fury might change depending on whether he’s the second or third Voice you meet.

I don’t remember exactly which interview I heard the devs say this, but I remember them saying that the second Voice you met was usually less helpful in the Chapter II they appear in, but the third Voice who appears in Chapter III is more helpful in that their advice guides you towards a conclusive ending to the relationship/story you’ve built with the Princess in that particular loop. But I don’t remember there ever being a route where you can get the exact same Voice from two different circumstances (unless Voice of the Paranoid can show up in The Wraith from Spectre’s direction, in which case I’m being a dum-dum).

In Adversary > Fury, Stubborn’s a perfect mirror of Adversary in that he’s accepted his role in the story as Her Eternal Enemy and enjoys it so much that he doesn’t question it. Contrarian being introduced serves as a potential destabilizing, deconstructive influence who might encourage him and Fury to start questioning their respective places in the narrative. Meanwhile, Tower > Fury has him introduced as the third voice in a manner that seems similar to his appearance in Den, where he sees himself as protecting us from a bully by encouraging us to stand up for ourself and fight back instead of meekly accepting our role as prey. But he also has no prior relationship with Fury and therefore no time to get comfortable in his role as Enemy, nor has Tower-Fury ever encountered an aspect of us with quite as willful and unrelenting as Stubborn.

Still, I don’t think it’s going to be just like Den where Stubborn is only helpful in the ending where you try to slay the Princess in revenge. I think there’s a reason why he’s in both versions of the route, even if it feels like Fury’s going to be a radically different character based on which route you approach her from, much like the Greys. I think, like the Greys, there’s a common theme to her route that makes both versions converging on the same role make sense despite the two versions of her being completely different characters. Fury’s route has this theme of literal and figurative deconstruction as both versions of her are denied what each sees as their purpose, throwing the cycle of violence/domination between us off its axis though not breaking it entirely, and then this possible theme of exploration/self-exploration as she takes us apart to try to figure out what that means. For whatever reason, Stubborn needs to be there, regardless of whether he’s initially helpful or not. And the updated Fury route will have the most new dialogue, sprites, and music out of all the upcoming new content for The Pristine Cut, if not all the base game routes in general. I find that extremely suspicious. There is something more the devs want to say with Fury, and, again, Stubborn has to be there for it.

Not to mention that, even though he was born to fight and perfectly happy with the idea of fighting Adversary forever, the only other time we’ve ever seen him truly at peace was The Wild, where he lays down his arms and willingly wants to be one with her. And then this route is another one that involves the Princess going inside of us in a very bizarrely intimate way. On top of that, the Tower being a very surprising route for me because she only ever seemed truly interested in the Long Quiet beyond allowing him to be “a priest or a pet” was when he was resisting her and trying to fight back, whether in Tower (before he actually makes her bleed and everything goes wrong) or in Apotheosis, where she seemed genuinely curious about what he was going to do if he tried to stop her.

Like…the update announcement said there was going to be a “new ending.” Is it going to be a character-specific ending like Stranger, where her route left such a massive loose end that she needed to have her own ending to give her and Contrarian’s story closure? Are we going to get that but with Fury and Stubborn? I mean, we can’t have a story about the breaking of cycles that possibly involves poor Stubborn having his own existential crisis and then leave both him and Fury hanging, can we?

[marte-14]

The Heroes without Courage

<Hero of Space/Hero of Lorule

Finally we have the three successors of the Hero of Space, the one who got affected by the absence of the Triforce and the ones who had to bring it back.

(unrelated note, tumblr makes some colours more saturated, especially purple and green, it's a bit of an issue in this sketches in particular. Any advice on how to fix this?)

Hero of Hope

We already all know this man, he doesn't need big introductions.

He has been on two advetures, which are the games he appears in.

Just like in the canon LU, before his this new adventure, Hope was "house sitting" in Legend's home, but he got an urgent message from Hilda, asking him to come back to Lorule.

(Legend don't worry, he left Sheerow in charge)

Hilda was worried for this new portals that were appearing around, so went to check them out.

That is how he met the other Heros, to which he wasn't really surprised, thanks to Legend's letters.

Unlike Legend, who doesn't want to be a leader, Hope got that role pretty naturally.

He and Astral a pretty close and make a good duo.

Astral is good strategist and leader in battle, but he doesn't have a welcoming aura, so Ravio takes care of the more "emotional" side of things.

He maintains the peace in the groups, everyone goes to him when they need to talk.

While he has insecurities about his role as a hero, and he still calls himself a coward, he got a lot better since his first adveture.

He is pretty close to everyone.

He still talks to Space, even if there is ttension between them after it was revealed that he was the one who destroyed the Triforce.

Hope and the other two heroes without courage are all very close, since they bonded over their shared experiences and insecurities.

Hero of Midday

The Hero of Midday is Twilight's Ravio.

He was adopted by a famous noble family of knights when he was a baby.

Unlike Twilight, he was raised in a big city to become part royal guard. Which became even more an expectation once it was discovered that he is an Hero of Lorule.

Unfortunately, Midday never showed interest in knighthood, prefering a more accademic life.

His parents left him advange more and more his studies, even if he had to choose Political Sciences as his specialization, which is very useful to him.

His parent's were less happy about his swords skills, while he can use sword, he is lazy when it comes to physical training and prefers to leave the monster fighting to others.

One day he was called by his Hilda.

She had a vision: the Triforce was brought back to their world, thanks to the actions of another Hero (Hope) in another timeline, which saved their Universe from collapsing.

Midday had to go in the Light Realm get it back before Yuga (court sorcerer turned traitor years prirors) got his hands on it.

Like the Twilight realm, in the Light realm humans transform.

Midday transforms in a big montain goat, which is very useful since he had to scale a montain to get to the Triforce.

He has silver tongue, which helps him respond when someone calls him a coward, but he is still very affected by the negative comments.

During his adveture he met the Hero of Space and discovered that they are related by blood. This didn't help with is insecurities, since he feels that he is only a dissapointment.

When he meets the other Ravios he gets pretty close with everyone but Space. He doesn't even reveal that they are related.

Their bond breaks complitely once he discovers that it was Space who destroyed the Triforce.

Twilight and Midday envy eachothers transformations.

While Midday isn't an Ordonian goat, he is at least a goat.

Midday loves wolves and dogs, he would like to be one.

Hero of Gale/Sirocco

I don't have much on Wind's Ravio for the moment, mainly because I haven't decided if his Lorule is an ocean or a desert.

His quest also started because he had to find the Triforce.

Unlike Wind, he his a bit expressionless but he talks a lot.

He doesn't have an high opinion of the King's of Lorule, since they decided to destroy the Triforce and for that motive his world was drastically changed.

He and Wind would be good friends, getting in a lot of messes together

[certifiedsexed]

hi there! this isn’t about sex itself, but since periods are usually a part of sex ed and i’ve literally just been woken up because the cramps were bad enough, i thought i would ask — is it normal to be in a lot of pain when you’re on your period?

context: i still live with my abusive parents, who don’t let me take any kind of pain medication after a suicide attempt at thirteen, so i know that this problem might just be that i need to take a strong painkiller. also the pain doesn’t ever last more than three days? like the first three days (and sometimes the days leading up to it) of my period are always hell but then it’s fine, i have no pain afterwards.

but the problem is that the pain is… bad. like being woken up in the middle of the night because my sides hurt and my legs hurt isn’t uncommon, and there’s this weird thing where i’m scared to use the toilet during these first three days because it makes my butt and my sides hurt so much that i genuinely can’t move and have to bite myself to stop myself from screaming. sometimes i’ll be in so much pain, usually in my sides but also sometimes in my stomach or legs or my butt, that i can’t even move, so i just kind of… have to lie pressed into my bed and hold my breath.

my mother has always just told me that she had worse pain when she still used to get her period, and that i’d be completely fine if i just listened to her and used a hot water bottle (i have poor circulation, so hot/cold stuff just doesn’t really feel great for me usually), and i’ve always just kind of accepted that. i know it’s common for people who get periods to talk about how painful things like cramps are, but i genuinely usually feel so miserable for the first couple days of my period that if i don’t need to get out my bed, i literally won’t at all.

i’m just wondering… is everyone who gets periods in as much pain as i usually am, at least for the first couple days? or, since i know that people experience periods differently, are people in more/less pain than i am but it’s fine since this isn’t that bad and i should just take medication each month for it? idk, but ever since i started to get periods they’ve genuinely always made me feel so so bleak and in agony, and i’m someone i’d consider who has a maybe above ‘average’ pain tolerance (i have chronic back pain, migraines, and health issues that make it easy for me to sprain/fracture my ankles which i’ve unironically managed to do about eight times in the past two years — again, unfortunately all of this with mostly no painkillers unless i can get them from the school first aid box), so i just… don’t know anymore, but i thought it couldn’t hurt to ask.

anyways, unrelated but i really do love this blog — the reblogs are always good things to read as someone who’s still unpacking being raised by very puritanical parents, and the asks always offer good advice too, very empathetically in a way that sometimes catches me off guard (there was one post on here that was something about how the asker’s father would belittle them and i think your reply said something like ‘it’s not your fault and nothing’s wrong with that aspect of you’… which i know sounds obvious but that was something that i don’t think had ever been obvious to me ever since my father started doing the same when i was younger. it was really comforting to hear, is what i mean, and your replies often are. so thank you for that! and for the time + energy i can imagine it takes to run this, you post/rb so often!)

Hi! This is absolutely a sex ed question, you're right!

So, first, let me make one thing clear: no! You are not supposed to be in this level of pain on your period. Some pain is understandable but once it gets to the point it's bad/debilitating in Any fashion, something is going wrong.

But I also want to say, being in an abusive living situation can fuck up your periods. And so can being restricted from pain relief, which-just in case you're not aware-is another type of abuse.

But what you're talking about sounds like more than just a lack of basic pain relief. That's very disabling, even if it doesn't last long. It may be that intense reactions to periods run in your family [especially since your mother mentioned experiencing something similar] but that's still something you should be getting something like specialized pain meds for or even stopping your periods altogether.

What you're talking about, especially on top of an abusive living situation, is very unhealthy for you to have to deal with.

Not everyone is in that much pain. Some people are but that's a medical condition. It's a disability! What you're talking about is a disability. It can be caused by PMS or endometriosis or PMDD or it could even be connected to whatever causes your other chronic pain but it's still very much something your parents should be getting you checked out for.

Even if your mother had the exact same pain on her period, that doesn't mean you should have to suffer through it, especially not with her revoking your access to basic pain relief. That's all completely unacceptable and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

I'm not sure how helpful this is but I hope it's at least good to know the pain levels you're dealing with are unacceptable and Not "normal" period pain.

Also I'm so glad you're learning and enjoying the blog, especially the advice. I also grew up in an abusive household so to hear it's helping someone else in a similar situation means the world to me, fr. 💕 Sending love, Anon. <3

[cripplecharacters]

oh yeah another question abt intellectual disability: what do people with moderate id speak like? i assume they wouldnt be perfectly articulate but i know making them talk like cavemen would be bad too. i do want it to be clear that they have language difficulties, but im not sure how to do that realistically. so what kinds of grammar errors are actually common? would it make sense to have them mix up words with similar pronunciation, or have difficulty discerning the differences in implications between words with similar meanings (like "pretty" vs "attractive")? do people with id ever 'imagine context' the way people(well, me) do when half-asleep where the brain mishears a statement as something completely unrelated? would spatial and situational awareness be impaired? also this is kind of a different question but if you can give advice on what to do with game mechanics for an id character in an rpg, that would be nice! i already have the stats figured out for every character and theres no stat that i think would be strongly affected by id but in terms of depicted fighting style and other mechanics maybe thered be some stuff informed by it (i cant do anything too complex though, im using rpg maker vx ace). idk! im spitballing here. main thing i need to know is how to write dialogue for a character with id ^_^

Hi! We have a post somewhat about this that you might find useful, I'll try to go over the other questions below!

Keep in mind my ID is mild (and on the milder side of that) so my answer will be all second-hand knowledge from talking to people with moderate ID in my SPED years.

A lot of it will depend on what condition causes they have. People with Williams syndrome have very “normal” verbal skills majority of the time and you can't really tell in my experience. On the other hand if they're autistic you can potentially guess from the tone of the voice e.g. they speak in a very loud and monotone way. People with Down syndrome are very likely to have a speech disorder, someone with cerebral palsy might slur their words, etc.

A lot of people with ID might be less talkative than your average person (there's definitely exceptions). So your character could use shorter sentences, simple sentences (in the grammar sense), prefer to use other forms of communication for things that don't require speech (e.g., nodding instead of saying “Yes, I agree”, or doing a thumbs up, etc.), or have to be prompted to actually answer/take part in the conversation.

I personally don't recall ever hearing the “mixing words with similar pronunciation” in someone's actual speech, maybe unless they learned the language from reading rather than hearing it? If that's the case, then ID could affect their speech more than if they didn't have it, otherwise I'd assume that the character might have brain damage or is maybe hard of hearing and simply mixes them up because they can't recognize/hear the difference between them.

Mixing words based on specific meaning makes much more sense in my opinion (probably because I do that myself lol). Synonyms or words that might make sense in one context but not the other are the worst. Your example here is great! When someone has ID they might take away the wrong meaning out of a word and use it incorrectly because of that. E.g., their parents used to take them camping to a forest with lots of bugs, they don't like bugs, they can later call something “foresty” to mean “with lots of bugs” even if it doesn't have much to do with an actual forest. This might make more sense for a character with more severe ID (or if they're just young) but using “attractive” when you'd normally say “pretty” makes sense for someone with moderate ID in my opinion.

Something that can also affect speech of someone with ID is word repetition. Not really in the echolalia sense (though it can be that too) but just using stock phrases that get repetitive over time. I try to edit it out from my posts but you can still kinda see it. For some people it will be ending most sentences with the same word, for someone else it will be starting two paragraphs with the same three words without realizing even though they're right next to each other or overusing “maybe” and “if” to start sentences.

As for the “imagining context” while mishearing something, I'm not sure if I know what you mean by it so I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I don't do it lol

Situational awareness is definitely impacted for all people with ID but to different degrees. I don't know if it's part of the diagnostic criteria but it might as well be. When the person's ID is mild it might look like someone who's just kinda unaware of what goes around them, maybe don't recognize that they're doing something that could end up badly. The more severe the intellectual disability the more obvious it is, the person might elope (wander off) and not be able to find their way back, not be able to use cooking utensils safely because they don't recognize the risks in real time (not really in the “not realizing that the knife is sharp” way if they have moderate ID, more like “not realizing that you need to be careful when putting things on hot oil or you can get burned”), assuming that people are automatically safe to be around, things like that.

Spatial awareness doesn't affect everyone, but one of the biggest comorbidities of ID is dyspraxia, which does affect it a lot. There are people with mild ID with severe dyspraxia, and severely ID people with no dyspraxia. It varies.

Unfortunately I have never played any RPGS and I'm not really familiar with the mechanics. Here's an old ask about intellectually disabled characters engaged in combat, hopefully it's useful?

If you want some real-life resources for hearing how intellectually disabled people talk, I really recommend this playlist. It's a bunch of interviews with people with Down syndrome and you can see that they're all very different from each other despite having the same disability.

I hope this helps! mod Sasza