#also another interesting similarity is their obsession just stop at one arc then the next arcs they completely ignore/forget their obsessio

[neo-zone]

If I had a nickel for everytime a distater bi villain with severe memory issue after turning into a murderous monster to the point they completely forgot their beloved wife had a bi awakening bordering twisted deranged obsession to a young man with parental issue and trauma and tried to make their obsession join them because they think they're alike, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice

[theworldbrewery]

over our last two sessions, I ran something a little different. Our cleric, Oggie, has a (complicated) relationship with this NPC, Elliot. Elliot is a gay half-elf man whose father is a politician and diplomat; Elliot’s father has decided that since Elliot has a criminal record (he was framed for treason) the best way to ensure he is provided for is to marry him off to another political family, neatly tucking him away where he can’t cause a scandal.

Now, his father isn’t too interested in Elliot’s desire for romance or attraction, so he’s arranged a marriage with a young woman from a prominent elven family. The party quickly decided that this cannot stand. They agreed to attend the wedding in order to prevent it from happening.

Upon arrival at the venue, however, a few key things were going to pop off. First, it turns out Oggie’s estranged family lives in the town. Second, the whole region is deeply haunted and extremely sinister. Third, messing up the bride’s life was a non-option, because when I introduced the character of the bride, a friend of ours came out of the bedroom where I’d stashed them and introduced themself as Gloria, the bride herself (an air genasi monk in a family of elves, another outsider).

this was already clearly a rousing success, but we still had to get through the wedding, and I had to run it in a way that felt dynamic and tense. People go from room to room and building to building, indoors and outdoors and making visits to the village. It’s the day of a wedding!

So I developed a method for running the Day of the Wedding, and I’m sharing it with you for any extended roleplay and intrigue encounters you want to tangle up in plot threads.

First things first: run it like a combat.

What I mean by that is when the party woke up on the day of the wedding, I asked them all to roll for initiative. Instead of a round taking six seconds, each round lasted one hour, enough time for a movement (go to 2 areas near one another or 1 place that’s a bit further away), an action (a primary roleplay scene or investigation), and a bonus action (a conversation with a fellow player character, a quick search of an area, etc.). As the DM, use your discretion to decide what constitutes a suitable bonus action vs action.

Now, unlike combat, this type of encounter should permit player characters to team up and act together. When a PC that is high in initiative order decides to do something, other PCs that rolled lower can opt to join them if they want to act in the same location or engage with the same NPCs. (This is a great option to keep the action moving and lets players work together more.)

In order to keep this situation rolling, I prepared a few key notes. I focused on regional effects; that is, the overall culture and vibe of the area. I decided early on that the region is haunted, and that the locals are suspicious, superstitious, and obsessed with cleanliness. These features are tied into the overall plot conflicts that would develop over time. I also chose to include the effects of the Haunted table from Tasha’s Cauldron to add some spiciness to my haunting. In essence, think of the tensions the NPCs in the region are already experiencing prior to the party getting involved. A recent assassination might make a court intrigue more complicated as they now distrust strangers, for instance, while a new trade war over tariffs can complicate a diplomatic mission.

Next, I considered my locations. In this instance, my locations included the inn where the party slept, various rooms in the manor house hosting the wedding, a handful of outdoor areas, and the chapel. I focused on creating detailed descriptions of the ambiance for each location.

Then, I wrote out a quick description of each major NPC - in this case, the wedding party, the family of the intended, and a few locals and guests. In a roleplay/intrigue scenario like this, it’s vital to include motivations, secrets, and goals for each of these NPCs, even if those goals are very simple. You’ll need them for the last step:

Create a round-by-round timeline. Write out your list of locations and pair them with the NPCs that will be there during each round (hour). In my notes, I added what the NPC was doing there or what they were thinking about--linking their motivation to their location. For example, a character in the garden was leaving an early-morning meeting with her lover, the new gardener, while the fathers of the bride and groom met in the library to discuss the cover-up they had just pulled off (a politician and wedding guest had died mysteriously at midnight, and to keep the wedding from being derailed, they had hidden the body and were intimidating the only witness).

Party members who arrived at each location were therefore entering existing scenes they didn’t have full context for. Each hour, the NPCs would move on to the next phase of their day, seek out other NPCs to interact with, etc. NPCs could still be influenced by the party’s actions, so each round you might adjust exactly what they’re doing or where they’ve gone--the beauty of improv!

Keep in mind that situations should still be developing when the party isn’t witnessing them. An NPC no one had spoken to yet turned out to have spent the morning searching for her missing father, which led the party to the gravesite that they’d spotted earlier in the game, while the gardener turned out to be a villain they’d met before who was acting in secret during the session! Use your best judgment, though. Just because you wrote content for an NPC doesn’t mean the party will engage with it, so follow their lead; sprinkle the clues, and then let the party’s focus drive which storylines get developed.

So long as every NPC has a goal or secret to influence their opinions and decisions, they will feel like nuanced actors within the roleplay scenario; the timeline you lay out in advance gives them a sort of “Artificial Intelligence” that can be influenced by the player’s actions.

Personally, I also recommend setting a natural deadline for the party. If my players didn’t stop the wedding by 1pm, for instance, the ceremony would go forward and they would either be forced to object in public or let the marriage take place. Thus, they only had 5 total “rounds” to disrupt things enough that the wedding would be called off.

You can create similar deadlines depending on the central goal of the party. A vote on whether to pass a controversial law could serve as one for a court intrigue arc, while a crime-solving arc might have a threatened time when a kidnapping victim will be murdered (”You have 24 hours to deliver the ransom”, for example). The sense of a ticking time-bomb gives the players a much-needed urgency. The round-by-round timeline also helps to ensure that you won’t have to continue prepping rounds ad infinitum; instead, you need only prepare up until shit pops off and the deadline is reached.

You may find you won’t reach the deadline, though. In this arc, the party discovered the corpse of a major politician who had died in the night and was secretly buried by the gardener. They used the cover-up as leverage to blackmail the parents of the bride and groom into calling off the marriage, which was helped along by the ranger revealing that Elliot’s father was concealing Elliot’s criminal record to keep the marriage arrangement intact. They managed to prevent the wedding with an hour to spare.

However, as Alice the sorcerer went downstairs to announce the cancellation, she spotted a person who looked just like her weaving through the crowd to leave the manor. She followed, and discovered that she was tracking the semi-villainous NPC who had crossed paths with the party a few times before, disguised as Alice. The NPC, Florian, had been playing the role of the gardener, and blackmailed the bride’s father into giving up a precious family heirloom in exchange for concealing the body; now that the cover-up has been revealed, they’re getting out of Dodge with their prize. This revelation serves as the plot hook for the next dungeon!

[takaraphoenix]

Ship game!! What about Nico and Will?? It’s pretty popular, but I don’t think I’ve seen you write much of it…

That's an interesting one in that I have vocalized my reasons for disliking it way back when it first became popular but instead of just linking that, it has been years so I think it's time for an updated version.

Firstly: This post is gonna be properly tagged and not crosstagged so if any shipper comes across it and feels the need to bitch about it, just don't; your lack of curating your own tumblr experience is not my problem! ;D

Now, there are three key factors that play into my dislike of this ship: How it was written, what it represents, how the fandom around it acts.

1. It’s rushed and uncomfortable

In BoO, it was incredibly rushed. They had literally five sentences of interactions before they walked into the literal sunset together. Five. It was just entirely born from Riordan's Noah's Ark Complex, where he just can't let people be single. The series was ending and he needed Nico to have an endgame so he rushed into some random romance with zero build-up.

The way their interactions went down was also severely uncomfortable for me. Will was acting so offended by Nico not wanting to go to camp and be friends in an entitled way that he had no right to be, he downright guilt-tripped Nico about how he had wanted to be friends. Nico has been just so severely traumatized at such a young age and his coping mechanism, as unhealthy as it was, was to run away and hide. Will acted like Nico not wanting to form attachments to people who could potentially leave him again was somehow just an Edgy Emo Decision and not a direct reaction to his trauma. His entire approach to Nico was basically all these hippie posts of "Don't have depression!! Just go out into the sun and stop being depressed!", which is already a bad take with non-medical people but he's supposed to be a doctor (and let's not get into the shadiness of him technically being Nico's doctor).

There is also an inherent "I can fix him" angle to this ship and to me, only few ship dynamics are more uncomfortable than that. If you want to fundamentally change a person's behavior and personality, you... don't actually want to be with this person.

Now, here's where my points overlap, because the following parts of their writing that bothers me also stand for what this ship fundamentally represents.

2. Solangelo is a queer ship written by and for straights

I'm a queer woman and as a queer woman, I want queer wish-fulfillment, not what straights want out of queerness. I'm kind of tired of that, I've been sitting through it for enough decades now. That's, of course, not to say that no straight writer can give proper queer representation, but far too often do straight writers - even the most well-meaning ones - project straight desires of queerness into their queer representation.

Let me explain that closer through this ship.

Nico's been in love with Percy for years and I'm going to do my best to not hijack this post with some Percico agenda; that's not what this his about, this isn't some "my ship is better than your ship" ship-war nonsense. It's simply a canonical fact that Nico has had romantic feelings for another character for years.

A character who, in this medium, is heterosexual. And if you're queer, you've been there. In love with your straight best friend. It's a cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason.

We have also all been well-meaningly rejected by said straight friend.

And here's the straight desires for you: The queer person who was in love with a straight person just immediately stops having those feelings and will then as quickly as possible fall in love with the next queer person they meet to be happy and no longer uncomfortably in love with a straight person, because that thought makes the straights uncomfortable.

Queer wish-fulfillment would be for Percy to return those feelings, for the queer character to get his first love, to not be rejected. That thing queer teens always dreamed about for themselves.

Aside from the wish-fulfillment angle, the pacing is another problem. Let me repeat, Nico was in love for years. But a five sentence conversation with Will once causes a crush on Will and we see him physically turn away from Percy and toward Will just immediately to rebound and actually fall out of love with Percy and in love with Will. Anyone who's ever been unlucky in love will attest to just how unrealistic and ridiculous the pacing here is.

It's also straight queerness in another respect; Nico has been the first ever queer character we meet in that world. He loves a straight guy - and to get over that, we introduce the second queer character. Because heaven forbid there are multiple queers to pick from. No, in straight-written queer romances, there is always that one main queer and then they introduce a second one and the two just immediately hit it off and develop a romance like all a queer person needs to form attraction to someone is the confirmation that the other person shares your sexuality.

Also the notable gay guy on gay guy ship here, whereas the more queer-wish-fulfillment option would have also included more nuance to the queer experience, because Percy doesn't have to be heterosexual just because he has only been with girls so far. It's a very old-fashioned - think 90s and early 2000s - kind of straight-written queerness that there are only exactly two homosexuals and that those two homosexuals then pair up.

And, listen, I'm not immune to these outdated straight-written queers entirely, I have many such ships that I grew up with that I am still fond of because they were groundbreaking at that time and they weren't outdated yet back when they happened in said 90s and early 2000s. I am however a grown woman now and just like I have grown, so has queer rep so I am not as easily baited into falling onto my knees in gratitude for canon rep. You have to go with the times. And this ship, by all that is given to us, is just entirely outdated straight-written rep.

Which, I mention earlier that even straight-written rep can be good. If the author tries. Riordan doesn't really try though; he does the bare minimum when he writes any of his rep - and there have been many, many more qualified voices being very vocal about his depiction of people of color and, as a woman, I've been vocal about his depiction of women. I don't want to derail this post with all of that, but I do think that it bears mentioning that Riordan doing rep but only doing a bare minimum and not putting in the necessary work to deepen the representation he wants to give is a repeating pattern that has been pointed out many times by now.

(I’d also like to point out that no, it is not just the ship and not just the listed instances that make it straight-written rep for straights. It’s Nico’s entire queer arc, starting with his forced coming out. A severely traumatizing event that is completely brushed over because the straight author doesn’t understand the impact this has on queer people. Not to mention the framework; Nico’s coming out isn’t Nico’s story, it happens in Jason’s POV, it is given to us through the POV of the straight bystander who gets to be Best Ally by assuring Nico that being gay is okay. This kind of coming out is not a queer wish-fulfillment, it’s a straight wish-fulfillment of getting to be the straight savior, the ally to show the gay the light of acceptance. And, additional to the ridiculous pacing of how fast Nico gets over his love for Percy, Nico also gets over years of internalized homophobia just because of, I don’t know, Jason’s few encouraging words and the fact that Will paid attention to him? For a gay kid who was in the closet all his life, the nonchalant way in which he publicly confessed his crush to Percy at the end made absolutely no sense and was written as basically a joke, finished off with Nico literally high-fiving Percy’s girlfriend despite those two never having seen eye to eye before but this is straight wish-fulfillment so all straights are Super Allies, because that’s the way straights want to see themselves, even though Annabeth has shown before just how jealous she can be and she most definitely wouldn’t go around high-fiving people who confess to her boyfriend. Nothing about Nico’s queer arc in HoO felt natural or queer or satisfying.)

Sure, Solangelo on a surface level is big because it's a canon queer couple in a YA book-series and kudos for that and yay for the kids who get to grow up seeing queers in YA books, but I actually do think that kids growing up with books written in the 2010s shouldn't grow up with 1990s levels of representation, because the 2010s overall are actually at a far more nuanced and better level of representation when it comes to queerness. And I do reserve the right to quit on too straight-written and too outdated queer rep in a landscape where I can get more satisfying representation elsewhere; we don’t live in times anymore where you necessarily have to love every bit of rep because it’s the only one you get.

Now that we've gone through my first two gripes, let's wrap this up with the final point, because it also directly ties into this.

3. The new wave of antis hiding behind this ship

A huge part of the fandom is so busy kissing Riordan's ass solely for giving them queer rep at all they think that both the author and the ship are beyond flawless and that kind of attitude is not good. Just because an author includes rep doesn't make either perfect. Absolutely no one is beyond critique - especially not when said critique comes from the very people the author is representing. And even beyond any "valid" critique on the ship, quite frankly, someone should also be allowed to just not like it, without any reasons given at all.

But there is a certain... protective obsessiveness about this ship that doesn't allow a not liking. Very similar to how PJO bore this mindset around Perc/abeth already. It's okay to have OTPs, even OTPs that you have a blindspot for and just don't want to see any flaws in. It is however not okay to then go around attacking people who don't like the thing and mind their own business.

Solangelo's bred a new generation of antis in this fandom. And, particularly with the fact that this post too receives an "anti" tag, I feel like there needs to be a clarification (because tumblr likes to forget what actually makes an anti). Not liking something doesn't make you an anti, venting in properly tagged posts doesn't either; it's the people who harass others, who seek out the content they dislike to then complain that it even exists and who actively try to make others stop creating for it - those are antis.

And with Solangelo's popularity, there was a high rise in Percico antis, who sought it out, were unnecessarily nasty about it, harrassed creators and tried to enforce some kind of "Solangelo supremacy" that won't allow other ships for the characters.

I've been in fandom long enough to be perfectly aware that not all Solangelo shippers count into this category and that there are completely normal and nice Solangelo shippers, but this is a Venn diagram where the overlap between Solangelo shippers and antis is too large to not widely associate the nasty people with the ship itself. (I've been there myself, shipping the very ship behind which a fandom's antis all hid. The second-hand embarrassment of having these people give the ship a bad name is horrendous and I do feel bad for all the normal Solangelo shippers.)

The more often I encountered these people, who made Percico bad (sometimes in wildly ridiculous manners that bent and deliberately misinterpreted canon) and who in the same breath praised Solangelo high, the more tired I grew of that ship. It's a simple game of association, really. You see that linked to the gross and nasty behavior and you start associating the ship itself with that gross and nasty behavior - and with all the things I said before that already weighed into my dislike of the ship, this just was the final tipping point, really.

And that's it. That sums up why I dislike Solangelo. It was hastily rushed, uncomfortable in its execution, it is outdated rep that very much feels as straight-written as it factually is and it does not feel aimed at me as a queer person but rather at the straight audience and it has gathered a cult following of quite uncomfortable people who on their own would be reason enough to avoid it so you can avoid them.

Send me a ship and I will explain why I do or don't ship it

[kaypeace21]

Mike comes out  to El , Mileven breaks up for good, and the future of byler (s4 theory)

*this is based off the stranger things movie inspirations they listed on twitter , in the show, or in interviews/other outside materials. All movies mentioned have been said to be inspo for the show.

So I’ll be mentioning mostly the movies- sw*ngers, what women want, wet hot american summer and splash (and others). Along with Tootsie -which was shown in s4 bts.

Before I give a rough outline of what may happen. I have to specify I don’t think El will be “heartbroken” over mileven cause I don’t think she loves Mike romantically . I’ve already discussed why i think she doesn’t love him romantically at nauseam - but regardless  mileven brings out the worst in  El and Mike. And literally inhibits her character growth. So as an El fan- I’m super excited for mileven to be put to rest. SORRY.  I’ll trade El & Kali teaming up to get closure from their ab*ser ...over mileven any day of the week XD. 

I think Mileven broke up in s3 (and remained broken up) . But we’ll have more closure and a more official breakup in s4  when Mike visits the byers. (And Mike admits he’s gay to his ex )- before byler officially begins. Essentially, I think- Mileven broke up, but El still calls constantly .And Mike starts ignoring her calls so El demands an explanation and he admits to her he’s gay and doesn’t want to get back together. 

So first lets talk about Phone calls 

I think based off the movies and s3 we’ll see El call quite a bit in s4 (almost obsessively) . And Mike has had enough. In s3, he said he’ll call so often -she’ll have to turn her walkie off . But I believe it’ll be the opposite-with El calling so much he’ll turn it off.

We see foreshadowing for this in s3 when Mike hangs up the phone after saying “El ? no, sorry, not interested.” Or when he hangs up on her multiple other times that season ( he even technically hung up the walkie on her in s2 , as well ). But, in defense of El,  given her lack of socialization (and seeing mike call her constantly between s1-2 I wouldn’t be surprised if she thought this was the norm).

-In splash there’s a scene similar to s3 - a blond relative picks up another phone to eavesdrop on him talking to his gf. He yells at the blonde relative and when the gf asks if he loves her -he tries to dodge the question. But they break up and he admits to his relative he never loved her. Maybe confessing to Karen?

* This reminds me of that supposed rumor with El saying “I love you” and Mike not into El just saying “I know” in return.Or Mike in s3 saying quickly “i miss you-bye.” And immediately hanging up on her.

-some other aspects of the s3 breakup may be taken from  “pineapple express .Which had comedic breakups via phone  . When broken-up he says  “I love you “ and she says it back to him (like mileven). He IMMEDIATELY  says he takes it back and  “I made a mistake” (when he sees she took him seriously). And then he specifies that’s it’s because she’s must be too “  naive and immature” to willing to take him back after how horrible of a bf he was to her in the past. Which yeah -fits mileven: they said the ‘L word’ when broken up, Mike did immediately try to take it back , and he may have realized at the s3 finalie how naive el was -to still want him back despite him not being a good bf to her. In ‘p.i’ the girl’s mom even says  maybe it’s best she find someone new who actually appreciated her or ‘better yet just be single’ and hang out with her gal pals (lol if joyce gave this advice to El-that’d be great)!  El doesn’t need romance to be her own-happy person! Also in ‘p.i’ Dale + his male bff are always assumed to be gay for eachother as a running gag .So ... I’ll technically throw that as another byler hint- lol.

-In sw*ngers Michael (yes that’s his name) who is made fun of for being perceived as gay gets a call from his ex gf of 6 months). And he hangs up on her to talk to his other love interest who asks if he wants to see her. Michael (specifically hangs up on his ex as she says “I lo-” to talk to this new love interest. He later brags to his friend (at a dinner) about not calling her back (despite her wanting to get back together) and he says proudly she was “always his ex”- when his friend incorrectly calls her his “gf” . 

  -While in ‘what women want’- an ex gf goes to him cause he didn’t answer her calls. In ‘tootsie’ the gf does the same and is pissed that her bf Michael (yes, yet another michael) didn’t answer her calls for a week. And he LIES saying his answering machine was broken. Would not be surprised if mike made up such an excuse.

Similar to ‘tootise’  & in ‘what women want’-both gals who’s phone calls were ignored ask if their bf (in mileven’s case -ex bf ) is gay. And in ‘swingers’ someone makes fun of mike for being gay. too  Lol-i’m sorry 2 movies where a guy named Mike is called out for being gay /and 2 movies where a gf who’s phone calls are ignored asks is they’re bf is gay is suspish XD

In ‘tootsie’.  We also have movie-mike give her a present before she asks if he’s gay /they breakup -it echos what previously happened in s3. 

- Michael (from the film) despite not want to be with her anymore (and loving someone else) tries giving her a gift to patch things up - despite his lying/ignoring her. The gift /empty gesture annoys her. Which is similar to st- mike not apologizing for lying- but trying to give El a gift to make up with her (but he doesn’t even do as much as film-Mike).

Right after this is when she asks if he’s gay (aka so for mileven we have the gift scene for s3  & El asking if he’s gay in s4-which were both borrowed from ‘tootsie’).

In ‘tootsie’, she finds romantic letters Michael has from another guy and this causes her to ask him if he’s gay .(20+ movies have romantic letters). In ‘littlewomen’ the artist gal and her future husband (who used to have a crush on the painter’s sis) exchange letters.And in ‘wet hot american summer’- a guy ditched his friends to write a letter (and his friends make a gay joke about him because of his letter writing-not knowing he’s actually gay.  

In ‘what women want’ when confronted- he admits he’s gay to his ex gf. In ‘tootsie’ she asks if he’s gay and he avoids the question but after she demands that he be “truthful for once in your life”. And, we all know how Mike constantly “lied” to EL .michael finally says he’ll stop lying to her and admits he’s in love with someone else. 

And she says in turn she’s not angry he doesn’t love her but that he lied (and similar to s2 where Mike calls Hopper a “liar”. The ex gf calls movie-mike a “liar” over and over). In fact they use the identical phrase of “you liar. you liar.”

Not to mention- she does sound like El.  She says she’s more upset about the lying than the fact movie-mike doesn’t love her. 

But I do think they eventually get closure and El realizes she doesn’t love Mike (romantically either) before her real character/story arc begins. 

movies: twister & you got mail

I’m so ready for the El & Kali teamup in s4. It’s like s2 (we get El & Kali pursuing Brenner + byler moments).

But what happens before Mike says this?I assume before this -mike & Will may confide in others about their feelings. And Mike/Will may be bullied for being perceived as gay .

 -In “welcome to the dollhouse” a boy is bullied for being seen as gay in school & at an arcade- and a character who is made fun for being a lesbian defends him at school/the arcade (so maybe robin?)Since Robin works next to the arcade/is gay.  Similarly, Fin’s character (at an arcade) is bullied and called a “fairy” and f*g” in ‘It 2′. And movie-Mike is made fun of for being perceived as gay in ‘sw*ngers’. Along with the guy (who was gay) being called homophobic names for writing letters (in wet hot american summer).We also know hawkins will most likely have a ‘satanic panic’ over d&d, rock music, and other things- which was historically rooted in christian fundamentalism.In ‘Kingsmen’ the churchgoers pretty much go on a rant being hom*phobic, r*cist, anti-science, anti-athe*st, anti-other religions, and anti-democrat and equate all of these groups of people to the endtimes/the anti christ. So one guy just snaps and says he’s gay, loves science , etc and says after “so... hail satan .And have a lovely day.”And storms out.  lol not sure about all that -but it’d be hilarious XD. Trigger warning for hom*phobic sl*rs.

-Proof For Will was : In ‘heathers’ the jocks make fun of the new guy in the cafeteria- by asking him if he misses his boyfriend  and call him the f-sl*r .in ‘superbad’ the guy who draws is called hom*phobic sl*rs and in ‘wedding crashers’ someone calls the male-painter character a “homo”. In “hackers” the (computer-nerd) who just moved to town is asked by his single mom if he “likes girls”.etc

 Also, in “The guest” a computer-nerd in highschool is bullied for being perceived as gay (and he’s given really bad advice about how to deal with it by a lonnie-esque character who is visiting his house/family for a while).  The advice is also similar to the advice given in the st comic (from Troy’s dad).

Honestly just the fire ref makes me nervous. The computer-boy eventually snaps (after never standing up for himself) and beats up his homophobic bullies.

*whenever Lonnie comes back - I assume we’ll see he’s a bad influence on Will pretty quickly

In ‘the guest’ they also made a joke that the clearly older guest must be the gay highschoolers’ boyfriend (which is not the case).

While In ‘stoker’ ,the highschool painter eventually loses it after dealing with constant harrassment- and stabs the bully’s hand (to block a punch coming their way) after the bully made an inc*st joke about the painter & the family guest.  So a joke like that could certainly cause Will to finally snap (as opposed to the other gay jokes they used earlier). In ‘dukes of hazzard’ a guy also snapped and got into a fight over a inc*st joke (and in ‘girl interrupted” they make a similar messed up inc*st joke).

 Given my theory on Will’s trauma with his dad (which he doesn’t remember)-I would not be surprised even on a subconscious level such a comment finally gets him to snap -maybe accidentally unleash his powers for the first time?Lonnie could say something about how Will should light his bullies on fire, they make a triggering joke about Lonnie &himself... and Will the wise does have fire powers after all. In the film ‘firestarter’ the kid who couldn’t control their fire abilities also lights a bully on fire accidentally so... maybe? In ‘skyhigh’ Will’s superpowers aren’t revealed until he accidentally unleashes them on a bully in the lunchroom. And 1 character in that scene says “don’t talk about my dad” before using his fire powers. Also... it’s not on the inspo list technically but the Duffers are known avengers/xmen fans.So Will could be based on scarlet witch’s son William (code name Wiccan) - he’s gay ,has lightning&fire powers and can alter reality. He’s been possessed In the past by the ‘demiurge’ - even spit up a slug too. He opens a portal to his world allowing the inter dimensional monster “mama” out (cough demogorgans are called “deep father”.)  And he’s constantly bullied for being gay- and the 1 time he finally decides to stand up to his h*mophobic bullies- is the day his powers activate for the first time and almost k*ll the bully. Not super confident in this theory but thought I’d mention it just in case.  Ok- this post is supposed to not be too plot heavy. So back to byler-

*Before Mike visits they may both confide in people about their feelings for the other . in skyhigh (at a dinner similar to the convo in sw*ngers where Mike talks about his ex gf) the bff of Will (yes his name) goes on and on about Will and how she’s known him since the first grade. And someone asks “so you’ve been in love with Will since the 1st grade?” Which she tries denying but quickly admits is true. And her friend says she should confess to Will.

In fisher king - a women who works at a videostore tries setting up 2 people- a gal-writer and a guy with an alternate personality/ who hallucinates a fearsome mythical creature (obviously Will). When people doubt the idea the girl can love this mentally ill guy  she says “stranger things have been known to happen.” And in “altered states” the guy who would hallucinate flashing to another hell dimension (like Will)- has a wife. And people say “she’s crazy about him and he’s crazy.” When they weren’t together she says to her friend she had to pretend anyone she dated was him and she says “it’s crazy” in response the friend says “i think that’s how it’s supposed to be.” Plus in fisherking one character wrote a book dedicated to his wife (which had the same title as the movie they’re in) . And someone says about this author “ he was crazy about her” as he holds the novel in his hands.

* The ‘pretending the person you’re dating is someone you’re actually in love with’ was also mentioned in ‘children of paradise’ (reffed by Robin in s3).

*I’ve also talked about Mike projecting his feelings for Will to El-here.

Will confiding in someone is harder to say. in ‘reality bites’ when asking about why she doesn’t want to be involved in romance a friend asks “because of Michael?” Which she first denies but later admits is part of the reason. 

 And in ‘hellboy’, (while taking pics) John Myers tells the fire wielding character (with mental health issues) that her bff is in love with her and asks how she feels . The 2 bffs are endgame but at first she tells John that she’s unsure because she’s known him practically her whole life (but she thinks of him everyday). 

Lol not sure if Jonathan would ever be so straight forward but it’d be nice callback to s1/2 convos they had (Jon saying in s1 to not like things cause you’re supposed to / saying being a “freak” like queer david bowie is cool) .In “twister” & “it’s a wonderful life” a family member also tells a character that their childhood friend that they’re in love with (isn’t into the person they’re currently with). In ‘ wonderful life’ she says they’re “not crazy” about the other person-but them.  And they say they know this cause they “have eyes.” And In “twister” the family member says them visiting them  is proof they love them. 

*plus Sam who is supposedly crazy about her (also isn’t crazy about marry). Aka El isn’t crazy about Mike- but Will assumes she (along with mike). Cough El saying “what makes you crazy?” in s3.

-While in “hackers’ the kid (with a single mom) who is into computers, and upset they were forced to moved to a new city -is asked by the mom “Do you like girls?” . And he angrily denies and says he’s ‘not gay’ (which could followthrough with what happened in s3- Will not opening up to her about romance, like him telling Joyce he’d never fall in love. so he may lie to her if asked that question? Unlike Jon?

 So it’s possible Will confides in Jonathan (and or Joyce) & maybe Mike to his mom/nancy?/a friend (maybe Robin or Max) (hard to say). My top guesses are Will &Jon. And Mike with Robin (and maybe his mom or sister a bit after Robin?)

Mike visiting the Byers

In ‘Tootsie’, michael (disguised as a woman named dorothy...long story XD) meets up with the person he really loves and gives them a present. The 2 low-key have like a psuedo-gay courting for most of the movie (before they get together). In ‘paddington 2′, the main character even gets multiple jobs to save up for a birthday present for a loved one (another contrast to mileven- who Mike,despite being rich couldn’t even spend $3.50 on.  They did that alot -show contrasts with both ships .So s4 would be no different.And It’s Will’s b-day in s4 after all so Mike getting Will a present makes the most sense. 

*last pics from ‘scarface’- I have no idea what he’d get Will for his b-day but if it’s engraved with “crazy together” I will lose my mind. Also the parent glaring during this scene-makes me suspect Lonnie . I do suspect Lonnie will sabotage byler-but it may end up being a s5 plotpoint instead of s4? (I guess in s4 it could be El-since el has been known to get very jealous in the past (like with max).

 - In ‘waynes’ world’ the ex gf refused to accept the breakup initially (despite it being months ago).  And she didn’t understand how breakups worked . Which given El’s lack of socialization -  I get her confusion on the concept. Like how in s3 Max had to correct El that Mike was her “ex boyfriend”. In the film, she even tried giving him a present for their ‘anniversary’ (hopefully El doesn’t try to do something like that out of jealousy of the prior gift giving -cause Wayne just says the gift shows how little she knows him). 

*You have to admit this scenario of Mike having to explain breakups isn’t that far-fetched.

(even when broken up with wayne- she wore a necklace with his name on it. ) Which reminds me of How El had a bunch of Mike related stuff in her room-including things that said “mike” on them.

in waynes’ world: The ex gf would follow her ex and still refer to him as her bf and be a 3rd wheel and interrupt every attempt for wayne to romantically confess to his new love interest (like in ‘dumb and dumber’/’high fidelity ‘).A similar scenario also happens in ‘tootsie’- Michael (as dorothy) almost confesses (on a swing set) but is interrupted by another person interested in him (Mike). Personally, I assume El would just do this unintentionally- assuming Mike wants to be with her and being a bit pushy but probably being oblivious of byler.

Not to mention the Duffers are petty AF and probably got annoyed with all the jokes that Will was a 3rd wheel to mileven- when literally Will wasn’t even around the 2 interacting alone . A 3rd wheel- has a group of 3 consisting of a couple and a third superfluous person. Which never really happened? Plus,we saw the ‘burns’ they did of mileven over the past 3 seasons- it’ll probably get worse.

And again we already know El had no qualms spying on her ex (mileven even dances to ‘every breath you take’  a song about a stalking ex gf).And El also watched the  ‘all my children’ ep with Erica & mike roy. Which in the show after their breakup - had 1 of them refuse to accept the other didn’t love them and want to get back together- and stalk them/ sabotage their exe’s romantic pursuits. Only to eventually accept reality and move on. Although, I think this is mostly un-intentional on El’s part.

In ‘clueless’ she flirted with a gay guy who she thought was straight/in love with her and kept trying to make a move-much to his discomfort . And in ‘birdcage’ the ex gf would hit on her gay ex bf- and his male partner catches the 2 and misinterprets it as not one sided ). That scenario happens in quite a few movies. I could see Will (before byler happens/mike tells el the truth ) misinterpreting and assuming mike and El are still romantically connected or will get back together .

New Swings scene (almost confession)/possible swing-flashback 

Ok back to (tootsie) .In the film,Michael’s love interest was raised by an older sibling- and he even tries to confess to her when they’re on a bench swing together . Not even the only movie with a gay gal character + gal bestfriend swinging on a bench together (’silkwood’ ). In ‘enter the void’ there was also a flashback of a little kid asking the other “do you love me?”/ and him saying “a lot” .  

* it’s like a subversion of what happened in s3 at the hospital. Also like the Wayne’s world scene of the ex gf interrupting...

But i don’t think El will be the only one trying to get mileven back together. But Will as well.In ‘Emma’ & ‘clueless ‘ :character A assumes her guy friend is into their mutual friend and tries to get them together (despite him being into character A only). I could see Will misinterpreting mileven and trying to be a good friend and get them back together (despite his own feelings). In ‘emma’ and ‘clueless’ (before they fight) there’s is a party/dance (it’s in a lot of movies).It’s possible mike, Will, and El go somewhere to dance - a lot of films have the 2 people in love-dance with others -but stare at eachother the entire time.In ‘clueless’ 2 gay guys and cher (who is flirting with one of the gay guys) all dance together. In karate kid, referenced by Max to El. Has a guy kiss his ex without her permission (on the dance floor)- and the karate kid sees the girl he likes being kissed by her ex and misinterprets the scenario (assuming they’re back together). I suppose the fact they changed the s2 script where Will was watching Mike dance with El may come back up in a later season? Could also be a callback to when Mike looked mopey at Will dancing with a girl (after encouraging him to dance with her).  Will could do the same (as mike in s2). Or they both stare at eachother while dancing with other people. or it’s just a concept they scrapped- it’s hard to say.

*movie list (truman show,16 candles,step up 2,karate kid, backdraft 2 & stormship troopers)

Confession & fall out

In ‘emma’ & ‘clueless’: character A (after the dance party) goes with the guy home and he tries kissing her . She dodges it confused saying he’s mistaking her for her friend! And he explains he was never romantically interested in her friend. In ‘emma’ he even bought her a super expensive gift before hand and she still assumed he was into her friend not her. And he even specifies in Emma- the reason he came to visit her house was for her (not her friend). A similar scenario happens in ‘weird science’ and he says she just thought of the gal he used to be infatuated with  as a “sister” (and we all know the sibling parallels in mileven). And in ‘little women’- the artist gal dodges a kiss and says to her love interest “I won’t be courted with someone in love with my sister.” And he explains exasperated he doesn’t love her sister- despite constantly trying to be with her sister previously.

 In ‘tootsie’, what caused Mike (dressed as Dorothy) to try and kiss her was-  the other gal saying she feel like she wants something she can’t have and because of that -their friendship makes her feel lonely (it’s very queer coded dialogue). She dodged mike/dorothy’s kiss but then says she has the same (gay) “impulses” as Dorothy but that she’s not mentally sound enough to be in a relationship.  A thought that may cross Will’s mind.

But, before they can talk about the almost kiss-her dad calls via phone and interrupts. (They eventually do get together though). But she tells Mike/Dorothy she ‘can’t love’ her,before this. 

*may not come across in photos-but she’s crying when sayin this.

Also, a fight about “what they are-friends/or romantic” before a phone call interrupts ( happens in ‘it’s a wonderful life’ and ‘the fisher king’ too.) Those pairings were also both endgame. In wonderful life the artist gal yells why he even came to visit her . And he implies she knows why (aka his romantic feelings) .There’s a similar convo in ‘fisher king’  (asking why they’re there) + 1 of them saying it’s “bullshit” and “stupid” to pretend they’re ‘just friends’. (We all know the context of the phrases “bullshit’ and “stupid” by now). Even Han implies Leia wants him to stay cause he has feelings for him-which she denies . Thus, irritating him.

*(I’ve already mentioned before how in s1 byler was paralleled to a gay Han/leia while mileven was directly paralleled to luke/leia-mentioned this in the ‘mileven burn’ hyperlink).

All 3 movies have eventual couples arguing cause 1 character (mike) is saying he’s done pretending to be just friends and he came to visit (Will) for that reason. And he knows Will returns those romantic feelings- but Will refuses to stop the charade and admit his true feelings.

In ‘good Will hunting” a similar event happens. Will (yes that’s his name) is poor and has severe trust /psych issues caused by his ab*sive dad.  And he has “abandonment issues” so sabotages his romantic relationships before they can even begin. When the brunette admits her feelings for him he dismisses it as a phase/confusion on her part. She in response says she knows he finds the idea she doesn’t love him ‘scary’ (and she’s scared too but at least she’s trying and being honest about her feelings). She also says she wants to “help him” with his issues -but this just angers him more. Cause he doesn’t liked being pitied/treated like he’s broken . She says she wants to help because she loves him- not pity. But he doesn’t believe her romantic confession. And every time she says she loves him he yells “Don’t BULLSHIT ME”! So when she yells “say you don’t love me?” He says he doesn’t love her- which the audience knows is a lie. But she’s left a sobbing mess alone on the floor.

Which yikes- I feel like even if you don’t understand the obvious reasons  Mike used El as a beard + lied saying he loved her. You’ll feel bad at the possibility of how badly it blows up in his face. Will not believing his confession/thinking Mike loves El or scared he’ll change his mind -so Will (for that + a myriad of other reasons)just rejects Mike COLD. Similar to clueless & Emma & empire strikes back.

I’m not that surprised since Will claimed he’d never fall in love (so when he does - he may just deny it). Like the therapist said in ‘good will hunting’ he’s afraid it’ll go wrong so never even tries to begin a romance.  I hypothesize a lot of stuff happens after this, that makes getting closure on their relationship in s4 difficult. 

So essentially to summarize a rough idea of what may happen: mileven stayed broken up. Mike and Will probably exchange letters between seasons. And El and Mike call eachother- but the excess of calls becomes too much. Mike and Will  are probably bullied for being perceived as gay- and before meeting up they may or may not confide in someone (about their mutual feelings). Mike visits for Will’s b-day/spring break and gives Will a present. El (because she sees Mike as a source of comfort) tries getting back together with him and becomes pushy and a 3rd wheel. While Will even helps El- thinking he’s being a good friend to Mike (by trying to get them back together). Mike eventually comes clean and come to an understanding and El goes on her plot/character driven arc of trying to find Brenner with Kali.  Mike eventually confesses to Will but Will for a myriad of reasons lies about loving Mike- and rejects him. And that’s all the (non supernatural) plot stuff I wan’t to talk about now...

Sorry, if this post was just hard to understand. I wouldn’t call this a ‘theory’ per say ( I usually feel more confident in those). This is more like a rough idea given what we have available to analyze so far.

Personally - I hated the mileven/couple breakup drama in s3. So as long as it doesn’t last long and most breakups like say-lumax and jancy happen early in the season... and don’t drag the actual supernatural plot/character developement . I’ll be fine.

 Contrary to popular belief- I’m a byler shipper who’s most excited for the actual plot. I’m a bit more confident in my plot theories than the exact details in this post . But I thought I’d share XD. I’ll eventually do a whole s4/5 theory- post which will focus on other characters/supernatural plot points.(but i may rewatch some movies first) . I’ll probably also do a byler post too with s5 predictions (which connects more heavily to important plot points spanning across s4-5). 

Happy belated new year :)

I expect so much hate from this XD

[imhaitusncarnate]

I have very mixed feelings on that aot ending

Ok so the politics of Attack on Titan have been discussed by a lot of people, some of whom have a very surface- level understanding of the story. I would like to start by giving my disclaimer that Attack on Tiatan ABSOLUTELY isn’t fascist, its anti racism, anti bigotry and anti discrimination themes are extremely apparent in it’s examination of the Eldians inside Marley, and fascist views held by characters such as Gabi are explicitly condemned in the text and made clear to be misguided and false. 

I would now like to draw everyone’s attention to the openings of seasons 1 and 2. 

Images like these combined with lyrics like these:

You pigs who sneer at our will to step over corpses and march onwards Enjoy the peace of livestock false prosperity "freedom" of the dying wolves that hunger

We dedicate and sacrifice our hearts

And also the use of german lyrics:

Sie sind das Essen und Wir sind die Jaeger! (they are the food and we are the hunters)

O, mein Freund! Jetzt hier ist ein Sieg. Dies ist der erste Glorie. O, mein Freund! Feiern wir diesen Sieg, für den nächsten Kampf!

(O, my friend! Now, here is a victory. This is the first glory. O, my friend! Let us celebrate this victory for the next battle!)

This is the stuff that lead me to believe that this is a deliberate use of fascist imagery. If the show just wanted to go for a militaristic vibe for the aesthetic of it, references this explicit to fascist propaganda and the use of German lyrics was not necessary. Also, lines like this:

And plenty of evidence that things were not what they seemed it the world of aot and that the overly simplistic view of good vs evil (humans vs the titans) was incorrect led me to believe that Attack on Titan was a deliberate deconstruction. That it was putting the audience into the mindset of the fascists to pull the rug from under their feet later. And I was right. Sort of.

As the story progresses, the world becomes a more and more complex political landscape and we are led to believe that this black and white mentality is wrong. We are also informed that the people who can transform into titans, the Eldians, are an opressed minority, explicitly paralleled to the Jews during nazi Germany, from their living in internment camps, to them being called devils, to their armbands, to a large number of them (our heroes) being confined in an island with walls circling them, which is revealed by Isayama to be Madagascar. The island that the nazis originally meant to confine the Jewish population in before arriving at the conclusion that that would be too costly, and that genocide was preferable. 

This is the first of the story’s mixed metaphors. While the show’s heart is in the right place, being sympathetic to the Eldians and showing their plight under marleyan opression and persecution, there is one problem. The reason for the opression of the Eldians is because the world is afraid of their power, as they are a race with the ability to transform into titans. There is, therefore, a tangible, justification for their internment. The Jews were not in any conceivable way a danger to anyone, they were simply scapegoated for the complex socioeconomic problems of Germany in the time period. Also, if we take a look at those openings again, we observe that the Eldians (our main characters) who wish to free themselves from their shackles are framed as fascists. So... what is that saying?

 The idea, as I see it, is that the story is condemning fanaticism in general, as a biproduct of a militaristic black and white worldview. The monstrous titans that our (framed as fascist) heroes fight against are revealed to be human, just like them.

The same is the case for the Eldian “devils” that the Marleyans fight against. Gabi, the character who is most fanatically against Eldians (despite being an Eldian herself) is comfronted with the humanity of the people she hates once she gets to know them.

Again, Isayama’s heart is on the right place here, trying to condemn bigotry, however the explicit referencing of history is the imagery is kind of misplaced, for the reasons I previously mentioned. Now let’s have a look at Eren Yeager.

Eren starts the story as a kind of messed up kid. He kills the human traffickers who kidnapped Mikasa while screaming:

I mean, in this case he is certainly justified, but his rage and anger are definitely not normal for a child his age.

This is Eren. He can’t stand injustice when he sees it. And injustice is what happens to him when the titans attack. His already fiery attitude and mindset is what leads him to this declaration of revenge:

That side of Eren is visible throughout the story and it’s foreshadowing for what he will later become

Eren, however, is a natural product of his environment. Ravaged by socioconomic inequality, with the rich living in the centre of the walls and the poor living in the outskirts, constantly under the threat of the titans and unable to obtain any kind of freedom, Eren’s philosophy of the need to be strong to overcome one’s enemies makes sense. The mantra “the strong prey on the weak”, that he ends up teaching Mikasa (another allusion to fascist ideology) is a biproduct of the world he lives in. He does not know of the political intricasies outside the walls. All he knows is he must kill the titans.

Eren’s titan is described as the “manifestation of humanity’s rage. It is huge and monstrous, and could be seen as a metaphor for vengeful hatred in general. Keep that in mind, it’s relevant for the ending.

This manufactured and false black and white worldview shapes him as a character, and it’s what eventually, after the arrival at the much desired ocean, leads him to this:

“Will we finally be free?”

In the continuation of the story, Eren falls toward the dark side more and more, to the point of committing atrocities and war crimes that are explicitly framed as being similar to what he suffered as a child (see his actions in Liberio). He even acknowledges that, telling Reiner, the person who committed said war crimes against him, that he essentially has no hard feelings and understands that the two of them are similar, doing what “needs to be done”. The character of Gabi, who, after what happens in Liberio, becomes obsessed with revenge against the Eldian “devils” is meant to be a foil for Eren, and his obsession with killing the titans after what happened to him. 

Extremely interesting is the way in which certain ideas and images are flipped in the later seasons. Namely, in season 4, we see a character who idolizes Mikasa and supports Eren’s plans in a scene where she spouts the same mantra of “the strong prey on the weak” and says that Mikasa saving her is what showed her that only with strength she can defeat her enemies. Mikasa tells her to shut up, and she proceeds to do the salute, that has been so glamorized by the show’s openings thus far. Now, it is done by a person from a military faction with a fanatic worldview. The direction doesn’t glamorize it at all. It is a nuanced, almost masterful deconstruction. 

Levi, who has always looked for reasons for why his comrades had t die, justifying their heroism and convincing himself that their deaths were not pointless, ends up here:

At this point, I was in love with Attack on Titan. From here, it only figures that Eren ends up attempting a genocide of the people outside the walls. He has essentally become what he hated the most, and he’s a natural result of the world that created him. Despite his noble intentions, he has turned into a monster. Mikasa, the prerson who loved him the most, completes her character arc by killing him, thus rejecting her blind devotion to him and being free, while at the same time continuing to love the person he once was. It’s a sad and tragic ending, painting Eren as a tragic character and making a pretty strong political point, despite having a few mixed metaphors.

And then, chapter 139 came out...

And Eren apparently pulled a Lelouch. This is a “I purposfully turned myself into a monster to save the world and make my friends into heroes for killing me” kind of thing. It is important to state that the manga makes it clear that Eren would have trampled the world even if they didn’t stop him, because of his urge to be free. However, that urge, that fighting spirit, end up being a good thing. The death of our heroes in battle apparently wasn’t pointless after all. They say goodbye with a salute

The Yeagerists, who were previously framed as fanatics, end up in charge of the government

It is important to state that the real event, the catalyst of the ending, is that killing Eren, who has turned himself literally into the manifestation of humanity’s rage (which has now, through the intricacies of the story, taken the political meaning of hatred and intergenerational trauma), eliminates the power of the titans. The titans are no more. This, in of itself, is good, and in keeping with the spirit of the political commentary thus far. However, the war, is still not over, and Eren’s mantra ends up being correct

So the only way for the war to end is one of the races to be wiped out? 

Also, despite Eren’s genocide being wrong, it is, in the end, justified, as a necessary evil by the story. An Ozymandias kind of moment in which the ends justify the means, but Eren himself has to die, because his crime was too great for him not to suffer punishment. Essentially, this chapter undoes all of the insightful commentary the story had made so far, by proving the ideology of its main character right. Story- wise this isn’t a bad ending, but if we take into account the political references the series has made, and its desire to explicitly tie itself with such imagery makes the ending leave a really bad taste in my mouth. What it essentally says, is that, yes, bigotry and racism are bad, yes, blind hatred is bad, but the general idea of might makes right and the impossibility of reconciliation are true. Armin, who has, throughuout the story, been Eren’s opposite, in terms of looking for peaceful solutions to conflict is rendered meaningless in the end, because him alongside with the other characters were all playing into Eren’s plans. The hearts of our main characters as recruits were in the right place, their fighting spirit admirable, and the overall worldview we are presented with in the beginning of the story remains more or less unchallenged. 

So where does that leave this imagery?

The conclusion is that one must think very carefully before including allegory in their work. I am not accusing Isayama for fascism, and I appreciate the efforts at deconstructing it throughout the story. However, in the end he did an oops I accidentally justified the mentality I was trying to condemn. I still like Attack on Titan, I believe it has artistic value and is overall a pretty good anime, I even agree with its politics to an extent. However, it is very important to critically examine the things we like, and see where they may have gone south. And this ending is that for me.

[dyketubbo]

my ask didnt send i am going to murder. anyway BEEP CLASSPECTING... now im thinking abt that and aimsey. from the top of my head/only briefly thinking, beep as rage or void vibes with me? (obvs not the typical rage player you see, more like the nuance we were discussing). and aimsey as a life player?

oooo void beep would be suuper cool :oc rage too, he is very fucking stubborn and does have outbursts rather often (also rage players in canon usually have connections to magic, and then the homestuck rage players all had religious themes so, god stuff). meanwhile void fits beeps heavy "this is all irrelevant and you could never understand any of this", and his own belief that even what he does just doesnt matter. personality under a veil (not necessarily a facade), fundamental inability to understand and truly perceive it all.

id say he doesnt fit rage enough, if only because rage players are fundamentally about survival instinct, and, well. beeps already dead, and he seems to be perfectly fine with the fact that one day he just wont exist at all. hes not scared, though he is easily pissed off, but in the end he just sort of likes messing with shit and being in control. lil dickhead (affectionate)

honestly, since he almost fits rage but not quite, he.. almost acts like a prince of hope (unfortunate eridan kinnie). destroying beliefs and asserting his reality as the Absolute Truth, dragging others like aimsey into his delusions and being in a situation where aimseys putting her faith into him even though hes not a good person because she feels the need to believe in him and connect with him, because she genuinely feels like hes the only friend they have left, and because aimsey wants desperately to believe in what beep is trying to show her, desperately wants to understand. he shuts down things he believes to be false, to the point where he can make them false by simply destroying the problem.

hes a force of outward destruction, destroying what he believes to be flaws in others. theyre heavily defensive, putting everyone beneath them, believing hes the one thats doing it Right, and ultimately, he believes its his right to control things. he doesnt trust anyone, he reacts to any fear he may have with anger, lashes out, and the "TELL. NO ONE" scene almost showcases beep shattering and hurting aimsey before he steps back and give a quick "sorry!". his arc seems to be leading up to him realizing he can care about aimsey, that he can trust her to believe him and in him, and he seems to be dealing with the concept of trusting aimsey with his beliefs

hes definitely not a general hope player, but specifically prince of hope could fit. onto possible void class combos, with, first, the notable fact that we dont know what kind of person beep may have been in the past, other than that he was destructive. we know about some events in his past, and how he feels about them (kinda), but generally, this means hes very versatile and has many class possibilities, depending on how we want to interpret what we do know.

for example, he could be a maid whose now in the apeshit stage, stubborn and repressive. its entirely possible he got so tired of listening to the other spirits that he got to the unhealthy stage, exploded, and now without anything stopping him, hes doing whatever the fuck he wants, because hes decided none of it matters, that its all irrelevant and he doesnt have to care because its his fucking universe and no one can stop him from playing god. he spends his time doing menial things, because to him, its all equally unimportant, so why not waste time? he cuts down unnecessary tasks, weeds out what he finds useless, etc etc. basically, he should still be independent, but he needs to be brought back down to earth (metaphorically), because hes kind of burnt himself out and is now fucking with things because he feels none of it matters anyways

sylph of void sort of works too, mainly his meddling and tendency to shut down anything that could reveal something he doesnt want revealed, as well as shutting down others viewpoints and he covers up shit whenever he wants. his motivations are, really, mostly unknown to us, other than that he seems to think this is fun. otherwise, he also has a tendency to try and fix things he thinks needs fixing (like getting rid of fairies and space creatures), and will often try to fix mistakes he sees in mortals. however, slyphs are ultimately healers, and beep just. is not a healer, and he doesnt necessarily invite creation of void in any way, since void isnt really destruction of anything, and what he does invite is destruction of things. hes also just too active to be a slyph

so, with the previous prince assession, theres also the possibility of him being a prince of light, which would mean he would act more like a void player. hed destroy light with light, destroy the importance of information with information. they strip away the importance of things, uses plain fact to force the perception that nothings really important. he dismisses the importance of things, purposefully acts ignorant to draw away from what he knows, destroys knowledge itself from a power standpoint (wiping aimseys memory), and in extreme cases, can physically destroy anything in his way, or assert over and over that what he said/did isnt real, that nothings true or important other than what hes saying. again, little shit. if i had to make up my mind, i think prince of light fits the most

as for aimsey, i think life does fit him really well, shes definitely got the similar "girl next door" kind of vibes, while still being really interesting in her own right. she definitely starts out as a typical fictional life player, enthusiastic, energetic, genuine, wanting to effect the world. shes a normal girl (and this isnt an insult, rather, her being so normal ties the magical themes of the bear smp together really well, and its a perfect way to use a life player, make them be a catalyst for both the normal life player and eccentric others to shine). however, as she struggles with losing trust in bear and not being treated well, not having anyone that cares about them specifically, the energy starts to falter, but comes back when they feel the need to be rebellious. notably, while aspects arent super literal, she contrasts beep so much in just how alive she is, which fits her being a life player rather well. except, as i said, aspects arent literal, which means aimsey being a life player translates to her showing what life means in a metaphorical sense.

life is about agency. its about what you do, your ability to do so, its about asserting your will. not what drives you, but simply you doing at all. interesting enough, life players can be hard to pin down because life is about desire and agency, while the players class defines their ideology. life players can become obsessed with an idea that they need to do something, that they need to change how systems work, and often can cloak their want to fulfill their individual desires as altruistic want to fulfill others needs and desires (i.e., aimsey wants a friend and someone who pays attention to her and is genuine towards her, she feels like shes found that in beep, and as such starts to cloak her want to be his friend as aimsey wanting to help beep rather than aimsey themself).

as for said class.. this was, hard. because of how heavily influenced life is by the class its paired with, and because aimseys arc right now is trying to deal with feeling like shes too much and unneeded, it means that i have to really consider how that connects with which classes struggles. so, i ended up with sylph. aimsey is a creator, and she tries to heal as well. "allowing creation/healing of life or inviting creation/healing through life". from a literal standpoint, she tries to help bear heal by trying to get him to open up, to live, to make friends and interact with people. this could almost seem like a blood player move, but while a lot of aimseys arc is about bonds and relationships, shes not really a strong connecter or leader, shes just good at inspiring others to be, to her own detriment.

also notably, unhealthy sylphs crave, whether craving more of their own aspect, or craving another aspect when they feel theirs is not enough. aimsey talks a lot about how she grew up doing things by her lonesome, and now that she feels like people are moving on without her, she may be craving blood (that sounds so awful out of context). she wants attachments, wants to be the person that brings everyone together, but.. she isnt, not in a way thats appreciated. and due to her insecurities, she sees this as a flaw within himself, and as something to fix. so, she latches onto beep, and desperately tries to have as much of an effect on their life as they do on hers. like life players in general, sylphs try to solve their problems under the guise of helping someone else with theirs. currently, aimsey seems to be trying to find what she needs to do, because when she tried to do what she thought she needed to do, she (from her perspective) failed, so now shes trying to make up for her perceived failure within herself by trying to help herself through helping beep. i would think into it even more but i think its probably best to just leave it here KEKW

[linkspooky]

The Kids Aren’t Alright

There are several things wrong with Bakugo’s mindset in the most recent chapters, and I think they can all be effectively summed up in this image. 

 Bakugo’s focus is still being stronger than the bad guys, rather than on saving people. It’s still all about winning to him. 

Bakugo makes a selfish and bull headed decision to charge right into danger due to his own personal trauma.

Bakugo’s trauma is still unresolved. Rather than coming to terms with what happened to him, he’s still stuck in the mindset that if he had just been stronger then the traumatizing incident would never have ahppened to him. He’s literally in a sense fighting his trauma and trying to punch it in the face rather than processing his feelings. 

I’ll go more in depth under the cut. 

1. The Kids Aren’t Alright

The decision to charge after Shigaraki reflects poorly on both Bakugo and Deku’s characters, and shows character regression for both of them. There’s a difference between being heroic, and making a suicide charge and the difference lies in every single person telling Deku and Bakugo not to run at Shigaraki, and the both of them blatant ignoring that sound and logical advice. 

This arc so far has been about the regression of the heroes. This applies not only to the professional heroes, but also the next generation who are set up to fix the flaws of the previous generation. However, and I hope this is what Horikoshi is setting up, it’s impossible to fix those flaws if the characters don’t even see those flaws in the first place. We are shown several times characters carrying a serious case of hero worship that blinds them tot he faults of their mentors.

When asked to think for himself by the villain, Tokoyami’s black and white vision of heroics is so extreme that he can’t even criticize Hawks. Hawks had to have been right, because the heroes are always right in the end. The fact that the heroes are above criticism at all times prevents the next generation from learning of their faults. 

This is also something that has been set up previously, All Might keeps secrets from Deku like his fallout with Nighteye because he was afraid it would make him look bad to his protege. Bakugo has been shown to have a completely different interpretation of All Might than Deku, to the point where it was called into question what he saw in All Might might have been wrong. 

Bakugo was set up to learn something, and he didn’t, and that’s character regression. Characters don’t always move forward, sometimes they stall, or even fall back. If this arc really is about the regression of hero society than it makes sense that this conflict is completely unresolved. As you said, Eraserhead and All Might both said they needed to do more to address Bakugo’s trauma about being kidnapped, and taking the blame for All Might’s end and yet six months later he is still blaming himself. 

The reason Bakugo is holding onto his feelings all this time is a complicated one and has entirely to do how Bakugo copes with his trauma. This has been a running theme with Bakugo since the beginning of the manga. Bakugo reflects the ideas of hero society, and because Bakugo believes himself to be strong due to having a flashy quirk, he thinks there is no situation where he should feel weak. He always assumes he can overcome everything simply by getting stronger, and trying harder. It’s why the expectations on him are so monumentally high. 

This is not only an idea that Bakugo has of himself, he’s also treated this way by everyone around him. When he’s kidnapped by a villain nobody stops to check if he’s okay, they just compliment him on his quirk and say how strong he was. Because he is strong he is expected to always be strong. To the point where Bakugo’s kidnapping on live television is brought up as a point of embarrassment and shame for him, rather than a point where he nearly died. 

Bakugo has internalized this idea that he can’t let anyone make him feel weak, and he can’t feel weak ever, due to the way people around him are always treating, and also his own personal failure at learning how to process his emotions. In the past Bakugo projected his feelings of weakness onto Deku and beat him up rather than try to address his own personal failings. 

Bakugo is strong, so Deku has to be weak. Bakugo is important, so Deku has to be a pebble of the side of the road. It’s also a repeat of the same biases that hero society has shown him, Bakugo gets special treatment because he has a strong quirk, Deku is put down because he’s quirkless. 

All of these unhealthy attitudes have been passed onto Bakugo and it’s left him completely unable to process his trauma. In his book if he was strong he never would have gotten kidnapped in the first place. Therefore, the only way for him to solve the problem is to get stronger. To simplify, a lot of times trauma is about control. Being kidnapped by villains meant Bakugo was completely out of control in the situation. He’d always like to imagine he’s in control, and capable of winning if he’s strong enough. Even when he was kidnapped, Bakugo kept acting like all he needed was for them to drop their guard down and he would escape. He couldn’t even admit to himself that he was scared and in need of saving. 

The key to that involves admitting that he’s not in control, admitting to his weakness, but Bakugo does not want to do that so instead he’s just gotten stronger and stronger. However, Bakugo negatively foils another character who was unable to admit to his weakness and because of that hurt everyone around him. 

Endeavor and Bakugo reflect one another in that they both have super unhealthy attitudes in regards to their own strength. This is also a parallel that was deliberately set up by the plot. 

All Might compared him and Endeavor as similiar heroes, and Bakugo even directly said he came here to reflect on the differences between him and Endeavor and how he can be better, and Bakugo just didn’t do that. We see the reason he didn’t as well, he was so fixated on strength that he thought he was done growing when he beat up a bad guy faster than Endeavor for once. 

Bakugo’s goal was once again focused entirely in developing his own strength, not caring about his emotional development at all. And so we see, Bakugo has literally no reaction to learning that Endeavor could have murdered his own son, but he reacts this much to just being faster than Endeavor. Bakugo’s priorities are still entirely on physical strength and not emotional strength because due to trauma he thinks if he were just physically strong he would have overcome that situation. Thus he regresses. 

2.  Oh No, You’re Just Another Brick in the Wall

The kids are failing to learn lessons but also adults are failing to teach them. There are several instances of this in this arc alone, and in the leadup to this arc. As you said, Eraserhead had like six months to work with Bakugo, and Bakugo still feels like it’s his fault that All Might retired and he has to fix it, so clearly Eraserhead did nothing. 

All Might is someone who has noticed the similarity between Bakugo and Enji but fails completely to notice Endeavor’s flaws, and how those things make him a bad hero. Not only does Bakugo still hold onto the idea that physical strength is what matters most over emotional strength, but every hero around him believes that as well. 

The Public Hero Safety Commission is forcing the kids into internships. Endeavor only starts mentoring the kids because the hero safety commission says it’s in his best interest. The healthy development of the children is not their number one priority here, but rather how they can be used as soldiers for the upcoming battlefield. Soldiers don’t need have well-developed emotions, they just need to be strong, and fight the thing you tell them to fight. 

Every single adult hero in the system, including Hawks who is a child soldier himself seems to think that physical strength means that it’s okay to put literal teenagers on a battlefield where extremely dangerous serial killers are going to try to kill them, and yes it’s different from normal hero work because normal hero work heroes are not allowed to kill no matter what. It’s been made clear several times already this arc is a war zone, and heroes are fighting for life or death stakes with killing intent towards the villains. 

Bakugo’s failure of growth also represents a failure on the part of the heroes because he actually shares several flaws in common with his mentors. Aizawa and Bakugo have the exact same trauma response. The reason they lose, and lose people is simply because they weren’t strong enough. They take all of the blame on themselves. 

Aizawa admits that people have died saving his life, but his survivor’s guilt is too much for him to bear. So, he tries to fix his trauma in the way that Bakugo does. He tries to simply be stronger. If he’s stronger next time then he won’t lose, and he’ll never have to lose anyone ever again. 

Not only is Aizawa’s power fantasy a bad way to handle his emotions because he’s disrespecting the sacrifices of both Crustle and Oboro who wanted him to live (he’s even going so far as to totally disrespect Oboro who is still alive as Kurogiri, by destroying his precious student he looked after like a lost kitten. In other words Aizawa is killing the cat rather than saving it.) It’s not actually about them, it’s about Aizawa’s own feelings of hurt. Just like Bakugo’s bullying, his obsessive quest to be stronger, are all about his own hurt feelings and not what’s best for others. Not only is he failing to come to terms with his own feelings he’s also decidedly unheroic. 

Aizawa’s interest is not in saving someone, but rather revenge. Like he’s the Dark Knight or the Punisher. Aizawa’s positive qualities all lie in how he can understand the needs of children, and take care of them, and yet he’s doing the opposite of that in trying to kill an abused child. 

Aizawa’s completely tunnel visioned view of the world (just like Bakugo’s) also leads to his own hypocrisy. He needs to live, and he thinks dying is the worst thing of all so he tries to teach students that simply throwing your life away isn’t heroic - and yet here he is making a suicide charge five seconds after his life was saved. He wants to protect his students, but he also lets the Hero Commission bring a bunch of sixteen year olds who have not been properly informed or consented to this at all (and legally cannot consent) to a warzone where people are trying to kill them. 

Aizawa fails to notice the flaws in hero society and correct them, and because of this while he’s talking about how he would do anything to protect his students, Bakugo and Deku disobey direct orders to run away from Shigaraki, and charge straight at him in a suicide charge. Bakugo has failed to learn his lesson, and Aizawa has failed to teach it, and if it continues this way Hero Society can’t improve it will only stagnate. 

[luciensfox]

ACOSF Thoughts...

Don’t read unless you wish to be spoiled! Here are some things I can’t get out of my head after finishing the book...

Well first and foremost, I absolutely adore Nessian (as I always have but now it’s even more so) and I’m incredibly pleased with the direction it seems that SJM is leading Nesta’s character development! I’ve always wanted a badass warrior Nesta and I got way more than I figured (short of her growing wings at any time as I think some Valkyrie myths depict, this is amazing/ especially with all of the parallels people drew with her and Enalius). She’s going to make for an interesting character in the coming books and dare I say...commander Nesta. Oh, yes.

Of course I’ve always been obsessed with Lucien and nothing has changed on that front, but I’m even more intrigued now because we still need so many answers. When will it be revealed that he’s the heir of the Day Court? What’s the standings between he and Tamlin? With Vassa and Jurian? With his mother/ brothers? His mate? We literally got only two or three scenes with Luc involved so I knew nothing would be resolved in this novella, however I’m even more excited to see how Eris will play into his character arc come the next story (because you cannot convince me that SJM would put more emphasis on Eris than Lucien in this book and not intend for some brotherly angst in the future). Eris is also an anomaly and maybe it’s because I’m obsessed with the mysterious nature of whatever the hell is happening in the Autumn Court, but I really can’t wait to see what’s up with him and the rest of his family. (Also....the ballroom scene with Nest and Eris dancing to what is supposed to reflect Black Swan was one of my absolute favorite scenes.) Does Eris secretly desire peace and wants to take over Autumn not for power but to make amends and heal/ bring back glory to his home? And what exactly happened with Mor? SJM put so much emphasis on that too and we still have no idea.

I LOVE Gwyneth and Emerie. The triad of Valkyries was honestly the best part of the whole book for me. I know everyone is quick to match up characters with potential romances/ mates etc and it sounds like that’s what will happen with these two...but let’s not forget that they’re incredibly strong characters on their own terms and I hope whatever comes about their arcs isn't entirely placed on their romance status. However, they both seem to want to find someone to be with which leads me to believe that Emerie and Mor will very likely end up together (if only for the fact that we got one sentences indicating Em finds Mor gorgeous....I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens) and that Gwyn is going to be a potential interest for Azriel. 

I love Lucien so much, but my soft fox boy needs to heal and stop forcing himself to find romantic love when all he really needs is some self love. (So perhaps that will be his final journey....Lucien finally coming to terms with his trauma, settling ties with everyone from his past, and taking up his mental as Helion’s son and the future of the Day Court.) 

Elain seemed a bit OOC...and yet not at all? We’ve only got the chance to see the “sweet/ innocent” side of her, but it makes sense that she’s going to be a super complex character (SJM wouldn't have set her up so mysteriously if the intent was to leave her as a mere gardener) and that her journey in following books will show us a side of her we’ve never encountered. The Elriel ship has always been a confusing one for me, not because I don’t ship it but because there’s so much happening all the time that it’s hard to get a proper read on clues when SJM throws characters like Gwyn at us...coupled with the fact that Lucien seems to still be in love with Elain (or at least he’s just lonely and doesn't know how else to react, never mind whatever is happening with Vassa and Jurian), and that Az seems intent on getting with Elain....but Az also seems to be the type of character who falls in love deeply without considering a number of things. He’s driven by his desires and often hurt by them, hence his love for Mor. Notice how shortly after he started drifting from his desire for Mor, he started to desire Elain? Part of me wonders if it’s because he found the person he’s meant to be with...or if he felt attracted to her and she was a distraction to his pain and a means to help him get over Mor. Like I said, I don’t know which way I lean just yet but these are all possibilities!

Then there’s the Gwynriel ship--totally didn’t see that coming but I can’t say I don’t enjoy it. I love how Gwyn teases Az in a way that many others usually don’t dare, and that she’s another character with a history outside of the IC. While there’s a lot to consider, like the fact that Az’s shadows shy away when Elain is around but “dance” and seem to be overjoyed when Gwyn is nearby, I think a truly noticeable parallel to the pairing could be this:

Azriel is no stranger to unrequited love. In fact, that seemed to be his overarching characteristic for the first two books. Now that he’s found Elain and she also reciprocates their shared desire, it would be easy to pair them together. However, Gwyn seems to be interested in Azriel and Az can’t seem to figure out his standings with her other than being enticed and not realizing what’s in front of him because he’s so determined to be with Elain since “she’s the third sister and he the third brother” etc so it must make sense somehow even though Elain is mated. But Gwyn, to that extent, is no stranger to unrequited love either. 

Just imagine: Azriel finally cracks in the following book and shows a rare display of emotions to either Gwyn or the IC (or both) and Gwyn decides to confront him about facing his fears (his past with Mor, his current standings with Elain, his desire to have someone) by claiming that she knows exactly what unrequited love feels like because every day she stares at him and feels precisely as devastated as he did/does whenever he sees Mor or Elain. Az will probably be shocked to all hell and maybe it’ll snap him out of his misery enough to think clearly on the whole matter.

The Rhysand and Nesta friendship was something else I wasn’t expecting, didn’t necessarily think I’d want, but now am excited to see bloom. They definitely do share traits and I can’t help but remember how Rhys once compared Feyre to Cassian and how Nesta and Rhys might be the opposite counterparts since they’re both haughty and respond to things with incredibly heightened emotions because they love fiercely. 

This post is much longer than I’d intended but oh well, some other things for your consideration.....

A Varian/Amren x Nessian double date.

Nesta taking on a similar military role as Cassian and either leading a female unit of Illyrians/ Valkyries or sharing the brunt of Cassian’s job (plus come on... those two training together is essentially their respective version of foreplay and I’m so here for warrior Nessian bonding).

I hope we get to see that mating ceremony scene!

Also....does anyone remember Balthazar--the Illyrian who showed up for one scene and fell asleep on Nesta’s shoulder during the Blood Rite while he helped them find shelter? There’s no way SJM would’ve written in a character like that without intending for him to show up again in the future....

Koschei the deathless? Wonder what will occur there. 

Damn, if you’ve made it this far give yourself a pat on the back. 

[lost-in-yujikiri]

References of Classic Literatures in SAO

This post are thoughts I have on discord plus discussion with friends. I didn’t intend to publish this publicly but this was so well-received and a friend asked me to do so, so here it is.

Below are the classic works that I think SAO main arcs took many inspirations from:

1) Aincrad arc & Little Red Riding Hood

- Asuna is the Little Red Riding Hood, with Kirito as the brooding hunter who protected her and led her to a happy ending, and Kayaba is the wolf who disguised himself as Asuna's "Grandma" (aka her caretaker).

- Kayaba's nickname is the same name as the central character of Wuthering Heights (Heathcliff), both men created their world of their own obsessions (for OG Heathcliff is his love with Catherine, for Kayaba is his castle dream) and during that creation they ended up destroying a lot of lives, even innocent people involved.

2) Fairy Dance arc & A Midsummer Night’s Dream

- Fairy Dance might take references from A Midsummer Night's Dream with Fairy King & Queen Oberon & Titania, who are a married couple under quarrels (Asuna and Sugou). The Fairy Dance arc also presents the themes of falling in love with the wrong person (Suguha/Leafa’s feelings for her brother/cousin Kazuto/Kirito) and unrequited love (Recon to Leafa, Leafa to Kirito) albeit in a different way than the original story.

3) Phantom Bullet arc & Sonezaki Shinjuu 

- The classic kabuki play Sonezaki Shinjuu (The Love Suicides at Sonezaki) is a story about close acquaintances/families/lovers being tangled in conflicts of opposing sides, with the main couple performing a double suicide ending so they can be husband and wife in afterlife (just like Kyouji & Sinon). In SAO Kyouji tried to force the double suicide on Sinon but it failed.

3) Alicization arc volume 9-14, Eugeo’s story & The Little Prince

- When people see Alicization cast many might think of Alice in Wonderland first. However Eugeo's whole story in Alicization 1st half was most likely inspired from The Little Prince, with Eugeo as the Prince, Kirito as the Prince's wise old buddy and also the story's Narrator, and Zuberg as the Prince's Rose flower in his homeland which he loves so much but was separated from for so long. Only Alice S30 is the Alice in Wonderland, which is why she isn't the one Eugeo looked for.

- Friendship between the Narrator & the Prince is somewhat similar Kirito & Eugeo, in how the Prince is the only one who truly shares the world view of Narrator. In stories of his own journey, the Prince met a lot of adults, each of them showed their greed, selfishness, ugliness in their way, and the Prince's pure heart couldn't understand or withstand most of them. Just like Eugeo's naivety and pure heart can't accept even the littlest unfairness and evils of his world.

- The Prince thought he didn't love his rose in the correct way, and during his journey he knew his rose isn't so special because there are millions of beautiful roses on Earth. But later he learned that it's the time and space that he spent nurturing his rose that made the rose truly special and distinct. Isn't that similar to how Eugeo learned that love is giving, like nurturing flowers continuously?

- However, the Prince agonized then because he was in a place too far from his home and he left his rose for too long that it might have been eaten, like the distance and long pining towards the Alice in Eugeo's past that killed him inside, while his childhood has long gone.

- In The Little Prince's ending, the prince followed a poisonous snake's offer that if he lets it bite him, he would be able to return to his planet with his beloved rose (Quinella's deal, anyone?). The narrator realized what would really happen but couldn't stop the Prince. Before following that offer, the Prince told the Narrator please look at the stars to remember him, if it looks like he has died, it is only because his body is too heavy to take with him to his planet. The next day, the Prince's body couldn't be found and in his later journey, the Narrator ask the readers if any of them have seen the Prince. In Eugeo's story though, instead of creating an ambiguous ending, Reki presented both ends of the Prince's fate literally. Eugeo died in a sacrifice of his choice, and at the same time went into the light with the little Alice in his past (aka the Little Prince's rose).

- Kirito, just like how the Narrator who believed the Prince didn't die, continued to live in his own world of darkness like the time he spent with Eugeo hasn't gone.

4) Alicization volume 13-18, Alice Synthesis 30′s story & Alice in Wonderland

- Alice Synthesis 30, from an empty knight who has no knowledge of the world with a forced Knight identity, was thrown to the unknown in War of Underworld and had to fight off everything and figure her self-identity out on her own, has parallels with Alice in Wonderland. Original Alice fell into a rabbit hole into Wonderland when she followed the White Rabbit, while Alice S30 fell from Floor 85 of the Cathedral when she fought after Kirito, both Alices learned about the mess that is happening in the world they're in after this.

- The original story is more about all kinds of creatures and humans in Wonderland rather than just about Alice herself, while War of Underworld is also more about people participating in the War rather than just about Alice S30.

- Kirito is the cheshire cat who guided her somewhere along the way but left her on her own device at some point. There are pig-lookalike creatures called "Rath" in the original Wonderland story, and in SAO we have RATH company who is monitoring project Alicization as well as the pig-lookalike Orcs in WoU. In many versions of Alice in Wonderland the stories involve a coup d'état towards a tyrant queen, in Alicization we have a Quinella as similar type of ruler whom Alice S30 and her friends fought against.

- At the end of both stories Alices left the mess in their "Wonderland" to get to real world. Though for OG Alice it's getting back to reality, while for Alice S30 she just got thrown to another "Wonderland" where she has even less attachment to as well as being shunned by most other humans without being able to go back to the UW she knows.

5) Kirito’s character arc in Alicization & Yu Boya and Zhong ziqi:

Kirito's character arc in Alicization was inspired by the story of Yu Boya & Zhong Ziqi, whose story has invented the words 知音知己 ("2 souls who understanding each other's tone & self the most") which usually get translated to English as "bosom friends", Chinese usually called them the epitome of friendship/ companionship. In Japan their names are translated as "Haku Ga" & "Shou Shiki".

Full story can be found here:

http://chineseaesop.blogspot.com/2012/09/yu-boya-and-zhong-ziqi-romance-of-guqin.html

Summary: Boya was an accomplished statesman from the Kingdom of Tsin and also an expert musician who played the "qin". One day as he played a musical piece on the river when he sailed to the Kingdom of Chu, he met a woodcutter named Zhong Ziqi, who might be poor but is very knowledgeable about music & what Boya's soul wanted to convey through his music. Being very happy that he could find a partner who can so quickly clicked with him, Boya & Ziqi stayed with each other talking for 3 days. Though Ziqi eventually had to go back to support his parents so they had to part with a promise of seeing each other again. The next year Boya went to find Ziqi, only to hear from Ziqi's father that he had died while trying to both work to support his family & study to catch up to a successful man like Boya. Boya played his last piece of music in front of Ziqi's grave and then destroyed his beloved musical instrument and swore to never play it again, because the life friend who could understand his heart & soul was no longer in this world. He then told Ziqi's father that he would adopt Ziqi's parents and support them like Ziqi did, saying "I was one with Ziqi and he with me. Do not think of me as an outsider."

So Kirito = Boya who are both accomplished in life (battles/social hierarchy), Eugeo = the woodcutter Ziqi who's inexperienced but wise and shared a love of something (swordmanship for Kirito & Eugep/ music for Boya & Zhong Ziqi) with the other man, both died young before they truly accomplished any of life goals. Their deaths devastated their friends, Boya destroyed his own musical instrument and his own musical ability, while for Kirito even though he was right at the chance to wake up from coma, due to the guilt of Eugeo’s death he intended to use his sword to stab himself, but having no sword so he tried to destroy his heart instead.

In the end though Kirito was stopped by a fragment of Eugeo’s soul, who give him the strength to stand back up again.

Personal thoughts:

- I find it interesting that Kirito is very apt for 2 different roles in the Little Red Riding Hood and The Little Prince, more than any roles with other heroines. In Aincrad/Progressive he is the hunter who managed to protect the Riding Hood Asuna from the wolves and in one way or another lead her to her own happy ending. In Alicization he is the best friend to the Prince Eugeo, he wanted to show the Prince the world and lead him to happiness too, but ended up having to watch his Prince walking to his own death.

- Mother's Rosario is treated as a side story in the original Web Novel and not a full-blown arc, so it doesn't have classic references. But Reki said in an interview along with the author of yuri manga/anime Bloom Into You that it's the most yuri-esque story he has ever written (despite not being technically yuri).

[swanface]

-kicks down your door- tornface all of them because I know you will for him

✨ initial thoughts / opinions

i've said it before, but when i was initially starting to get a glimpse of tornface, i thought he was forgotten elegy's big bad. all the art i'd seen of him seemed to imply that he was a villain, and he had a pretty notorious reputation even upon joining the group that made me think he was perhaps a bit problematic.

and like...yeah, i guess he is technically problematic, but as soon as i actually got to roleplay with him, i was immediately surprised. he was far from what i expected, not even a little bit the brutal bad guy i'd imagined him to be. i was really quickly fond of him, and that fondness has not faded!

🍁 favorite rp / moment

i have two to spare, one more self centered and another that just makes me go heart eyes at him. the first favorite roleplay is the one where he spoke to roseface (rosepaw then) after the reveal that she'd been spying on mountainclan. the two of them finally getting to reunite as friends made me beyond happy, and i feel like it was a super important moment for them both. he asked her during that roleplay whether she thought scoutstar was capable of changing, of being a good leader for timberclan, and i imagine roseface's support of her helped lead to her promotion. there are also just so many brilliant quotes from him within it, like when he talks to her about how killing changes you...or how it should. part of what he says there actually ties into my next favorite roleplay of his, because he discusses how he chose to spare coalstar at little pond.

that's my other favorite tornface moment because of how much growth it displayed. coalstar's death could have easily been justified in that moment, and given his history with her, he had very little reason to show mercy. given what happened at that battle, it might have been "better" for her to die. still, tornface choosing to let her live was incredibly important in the grand scheme of it all. he chose to stop more blood from being shed during a battle that ended in the loss of so much life. he chose to let coalstar walk away, and that altered both the course of the roleplay as a whole as well as his own personal track of development.

❄️ favorite quote

i can't go prowling through timberclan channels or else i'd probably pull something from the story he told roseface in their first interaction, so, beyond that...i am still so fixated on another quote he had with regard to her, back when he first learned she had gone to mountainclan.

"I wish I could make good on my offer to train you, but,” his muzzle turned up, revealing another fresh scar beneath his chin, gaze wistful as he watched the passing of the clouds, “I can’t teach you how to hurt my clanmates.”

there are so many good tornface quotes, ones more complex than that one, but i still remember it because of how simple and tragic it was in the moment. it also really just displays his character so wonderfully, how he is capable of caring about cats from mountainclan, but how he has to keep them at a distance. his clan is the most important thing to him, before anything else.

🌸 favorite relationship dynamics

huh, i wonder if my obsession with tornface and roseface's friendship shows in just how much i've mentioned them already.

okay, but really, beyond those two (who i obviously love), i think one of my favorite dynamics tornface has is with scoutstar. watching tornface go from basically ready to maim scoutstar for what she did to flurrypaw to the way he is now, ready and willing to trust her (at least as much as he can, given how many cats he's had walk out on him lately) is really special. they're not exactly perfectly suited towards being friends, but they both share a lot of similarities in how they're perceived (as "monsters" or villains, most often) and how deeply they care for those around them.

☘️ relationship dynamics with the most potential

any relationship at all! tornface is such a fascinating character, and regardless of whether or not he gets along with someone, i think every cat should meet him. he has a fascinating perspective to offer on clan life to any loners, and i also adore the unique dynamics he has with mountainclan cats. i miiight be a bit biased though.

more specifically, i'd love to see hosea and tornface talk. hosea is really doubting clan life currently, understandably so, and hearing from a cat with as much experience in it as tornface might help to make him feel slightly more at ease. i think tornface would be fond of hosea, too, as a fellow cat who would sacrifice just about anything for his family. they both seem to be the sort to shoulder the burden so that no one else has to feel it, and i'd looove to see them link up some day soon.

🌲 who I ship them with

i do hope for tornface to find love someday, but as it stands right now...no one, really? his failed romance with wolftalon is interesting and probably by favorite dynamic of the bunch, but i truly do think tornface deserves to move on from it. every other cat within his age range doesn't feel like they'd quite mesh, at least not as things stand. i imagine hemlock would drive him crazy, and rooster would likely do the same, especially given he's now taking lessons and advice from beetleheart. one day we'll find the perfect boyfriend for him, though. one day.

🍄 cross-clan ships

i was ready to say his only option would be rooster, but typing about hosea above made me realize that he's actually a viable candidate...and probably the only one tornface would tolerate. i doubt he'd ever be willing to commit to a cross-clan relationship fully, though, simply because it would likely end in disaster for the mountainclan half of the relationship. i don't think tornface would willingly ask someone to endure that; he'd just invite them to come to timberclan with him.

☀️ ideal friendships

tornface and hosea, as i've said. rufus plays them both, but tornface and lynx would be comical. i also think that a friendship between him and wildfire would be sweet...as for the new timberclan loners, from what i've seen thus far of them, i think he is developing a bond with stinger, which is also something i am 100% in support of.

🌈 something I want to happen in their character arc

i want him to live a very long life. do you hear me, rufus? i want him to be over 100 moons. i want him to be safe and unharmed.

on a similar but less joking note, i do think that retirement would be a good conclusion to his arc. a sweet one, though he might not be afforded it. he deserves to rest after serving his clan for moons and moons, especially after all the energy he has invested into supporting timberclan...and mountainclan, honestly! his bond with cats like redpath and roseface matters, even if he's not well renowned otherwise.

anyway. retirement. imagine tornface, old and graying, telling all the best elder stories. the kits flock to him and decorate his den and nest with all sorts of trinkets. he's the oldest cat in timberclan, the last to remember tales that have faded into obscurity, and his clan finally gets to take care of him in the same way he has taken care of them.

🌼 alternate name

sort of in line with the next question as i'm imagining names as per the mountainclan naming guide...i think bear- would be a suitable suffix for him, or something like ram- as a callback to the whole "animal with horns / antlers" motif. elk-, even, could work. alternatively, name him tiger-! give him the vibe of the broad shouldered brown tabby villain i was so certain he was.

bearclaw, ramclaw, elkclaw, are all good, at least as far as non-name change options go. i also think he would make for a good -throat cat by mountainclan standards, or a good -path. bearpath sounds nice. elkthroat...so many options!

if we're going for the same name change idea, though, another alternative to tornface could be tatteredface...or tatteredeye? cloudedeye as well. sooo many name thoughts, so little time.

☁️ alternate clan au

mountainclan tornface is certainly wild to think about. if he'd been in mountainclan throughout the events of the roleplay, i think they would have played out considerably differently. i imagine he would have stood up against the idea of taking moonpaw and archpaw when it occurred, and perhaps he could have played the part of an antagonist within the clan for coalstar specifically. imagine having to argue with one of your senior warriors nearly constantly. it would have damaged her reputation further, i imagine.

if he had been in mountainclan, too, i think he would have likely been one of the cats to assist in iceshadow adapting to life there. maybe he'd have better feelings on behalf of lichenfang, and could have helped him similarly to how he helped glassflower with moonpaw.

🍃 alternate rank au

not an official rank, per say, but as i mentioned in the naming concept for him had he been a mountainclan cat...storyteller tornface would be so fitting. he's already one, technically, just by timberclan standards instead. he'd fit into the role perfectly...i still think about the warm bison story.

🌺 warrior ceremony virtues

compassion for those in need, selflessness / readiness to sacrifice his own well being for his clanmates...bravery, however basic that is. generosity, too, though i suppose that fall in line with compassion. i think something to honor the hardships he's been through would be good, too, like resilience.

⚡️ who would give them lives

he just said he would never let tornstar see the light of day, but...tackling this question less on the front of utilizing already dead cats, more on the concept of just going for cats who'd want to give him a life in general as i am sorely uneducated regarding deceased timberclan cats. roseface, first of all, because i am selfish and she loves him. she'd give him a life of friendship and understanding. another mountainclan cat i'd consider would be redpath. maybe a life for the love a parent has for their kits? scoutstar, i imagine, especially if she had to die in order for him to step up...wolftalon, however tense or complex that would be. bisonheart, definitely. houndfang and mooseheart, for sure, at least if they were able to, and moonpaw (though the thought of her giving him a life is heartbreaking) would also be good candidates. for a final one, i just think inkpool would be funny. she'd be reluctant, i imagine, but would also probably recognize that he does care for timberclan despite their differences.

[myfandomrambles]

Morgana Pendragon Character Analysis (pt1)

Introduction:

Morgana Pendragon is one of the most key characters in Merlin. Her role is integral to the character arc of all of the other leads. Her story is about how someone can let their pain consume them whole. As an abuse victim and a member of a marginalised community, she is set up for being isolated and fearful. This alienation is turned both inward and outward making her deeply dangerous to herself and others. She takes this alienation to push almost everyone out of her life and force others to suffer the same way she did. Her righteous anger at her treatment by her father and society goes to waste when none is put to constructive ends. 

She allows emptiness, fear and anger to consume her. She replaced her core beliefs with those of “others are out to hurt me” and “the only way to live is through the acquisition of power”. Her ability for both affective and cognitive empathy becomes suppressed as any joy she can drive comes from exerting control over others. She is compelled into implementing her obsessions around revenge and survival. Depression, obsessive thoughts, paranoia, fear and anger fill all corners of her mind leaving her without access to flexible thought and internal peace. 

Analysis:

At the start, she is living as a member of court and Uther’s ward. She continually butts heads with Uther. This is due to her being headstrong and fearless. This bravery and stubborn disposition causes more rifts as she is seen to be hysterical and as an object, leaving her subject to gaslighting and other forms of abuse. However, this rarely stops her from being involved when important. Morgana often works with Arthur and Merlin early on. The most key of these events being when they save Mordred. (1x08)

However, her stubbornness isn’t all-consuming, while resisting being forced to do things she dislikes she is smart enough to know when to lie and when to bend the knee. Partly because as a child and young-adult she holds a mix of respect, love and fear towards Uther. She shows skills in court life, this is deeply important to understand as it becomes a useful skill when she works against the kingdom. But in the beginning, it shows someone who lives in the duality of wanting to assert herself and someone who absorbed the social rules she was raised with. 

Morgana shows great care for those around her wanting them to be safe and happy. Often stepping up to speak on behalf of them, and generally treating even Gwen and Merlin, people considered her inferiors socially, with respect. Standing up for Gwen's dad, helping protect Elador, helping feed peasants and trying to protect Gwen when they are attacked shows her kindness and loyalty. (1x03, 1x08, 1x10-12)

She doesn’t have a consuming desire for power, no particular plan to marry into or otherwise acquire power. Her later turn to power is reactive and less of an innate drive. It also a drive to be the one who determines her future. 

When Morgana's powers start to grow we see the first shift in her character. The development of anxiety and depression colour the way she acts. It adds layers to her abuse and trauma. A great deal of gaslighting is used to convince her she is mistaken and to prevent the acknowledgement of her magic. Which we know Gaius has been hiding since she was a child visa via her prophetic nightmares. 

This alienation is from the entire culture she grew up in. When she visits the druids in The Nightmare Begins (2x03) Morgana feels free and desires to stay, she just wants to be herself. 

This is similar to the experience marginalised people experience in real life. She knows that if discovered her magic father figure/father would likely kill her. Morgana also believes her other loved ones would at the least disown her. 

In reality, there is some nuance. Merlin acts as both an agent of the system while originally trying to help her and Gaius and Gwen would not wish harm on her. But Morgana is understandably afraid and full of anxiety to reach out for help. This anxiety, confusion, fear and alienation become the way she perceives the world. Life is Morgana, then everyone else. This pain drives a wedge between her and everyone she used to care for.

Outside of the gaslighting and threat of violence, she experiences from those close to her during The Witchfinder (2x07) we see her deal with mental assault from an outside force with no support from her family as they don’t understand. This makes her dysregulation, anxiety, depression and isolation worsen. 

The next two key events in her first character transformation can be seen at the end of season two. First, Morgana meets Morgause (2x08) and automatically feels a connection to her. Second, Morgana is pushed to verbally disown Uther due to his treatment of Avalar and by extension the rest of the Druids and others born with magic. This is the final relational rupture between them:

Morgana: They are rising up against you! From this day forward, I do not know you. From this day forward, I disown you

King Uther: You will go to your chambers!

Morgana: And you, Uther, you will go to hell.

 (2x11)

We then see her move into helping Morgause try and destroy Camelot. At this point, it is driven by the anger she has for Uther and his treatment of others. It has yet to have the drive of becoming queen. Her connection to Morgause also plays a large role as she finally has a person to be close to without the artifice of court life over it. Morgause gives her a choice and with that an illusion of power. At this point, there is a more powerful member of their team. Morgana ends this attempt at Camelot almost being murdered by someone she considered a friend. (2x12)

We then have an interesting moment in her character arch in her year away from Camelot. This time away changes her from someone who while willing to hurt Uther didn’t seem driven for the destruction of Camelot, to one who will hurt everyone. There is also a reprieve from the fear-driven to more controlled anger by the assistance of Morgause. 

We are never told what happened in the year. All we know is he stayed with her sister and likely had her hatred of Uther entrenched even further. Her worst tendencies towards vengeance over justice and ego over compassion are reinforced. This shifts her schema farther into negative ones and worsens her ability to think in shades of grey.

When she does return her previous ability to play the game of court life is stronger and utilised to great effect convincing everyone for a while that she is essentially the same person, except for Merlin and by extension Gaius. Gwen is the next to figure it out due to Morgana’s affect control dropping and her real emotion bleeding through over time. (3x08)

As she returns to Camelot she quickly moves to attempt another attack. This attempt is stopped again by Merlin, but in this attempt, we see new cruelty in her willingness to torture Uther and that her magic has grown. This is also the last time I believe her alienation and marginalization is her driving force. After this, I think she fully turns her internalized fear of her magic onto everyone else. Her exchange with Merlin during the battle feels genuine and not at all like manipulation or even just a justification as it becomes later, but a real motivation. She has not yet grown to shut off her empathy for everyone, only Uther and Arthur. (3x1-2)

Soon after her second attempt on the castle, we see another large shift in motivations. She almost dies and is severely injured which puts her in a vulnerable place and during this same time she learns she is Uther’s daughter in blood as well as circumstance. She learns that he never was willing to claim her or even tell her. This pushes her to act rashly, almost committing patricide. (3x05)

Her ability to be cruel in her aims continues to grow, to hurt Arthur she puts Gwen through terrible pain as well as Elyan. (3x07) We see her magic grow, her emotions grow but her ability to hide her intentions failing, at least around Gwen. Her attempts at her family's lives also continue to be cruel as she tries to kill Arthur and Uther in slow and painful ways. (3x08, 3x11)

When Morgana isn’t trying to kill the people she used to love she is trying to mess with their lives in more petty ways. This includes exposing the love Arthur and Gwen have for each other, putting their relationship in jeopardy and Gwen’s over well being. This is over her fear of Gwen being Queen when Arthur would become Queen, something that Morgana gains obsessive thoughts over throughout the rest of the story. (3x10)

Morgana is willing to kill a large number of the people at this point not only those she has a personal issue with. Though she does offer safety to Gwen thought it’s contingent on her considering Morgana to be the rightful queen. She is willing to rule by fear and threat, not understanding how to win over the people. (3x12-13). This attempt fails and Morgana loses her sister and the allies her sister made.

After being defeated and having to flee the castle with her dying sister she spends a year moving around with her ill sister while also gaining more strength and becoming a fully-fledged High Priestess of the Old Religion. 

In an attempt to take the castle again she has to kill her sister. Something that caused her great distress as Morgana believed Morgause was the only person who understood and loved her. This event causes great suffering to all, it’s also when Morgana adds her obsession with Emrys along with her obsessive thoughts over Gwen and Uther. 

During this first period of exile, she recruits Agravaine to be her spy and aid within the court. They seem to be united by a common cause but Morgana doesn’t treat him as equal, adopting the belief she hated so much from Uther, treating others as tools. 

She also accepted a standard of living that is much below that of the ward of the king. Her way of dress and acting also shifts, she’s still cunning and driven but while now being the master of herself she is more erratic and seems to feel just as out of control and obsessed as she was when living a lie. Her affect control, impulse control, regulation and social regulation deteriorated. Fear also returns to being a driving force. (4x01-2)

Morgana succeeds in killing Uther in The Wicked Day (4x03) by cursing a necklace and Agravaine puts it on Uther so that when Arthur uses magic to try and bring back his father from a fatal injury he dies faster. Planning to finally kill her father she also wishes guilt and pain on her brother.

We then see Morgana use both strength and her ability to manipulate to work Queen Annis to try and kill Arthur. Morgana is not against using her history to use another person. However, Annis sees through her when Arthur shows honour and points out that Morgana is much more like Uther than she realises, and in saying this it also refutes the point Morgana tried to make early in the episode that Gorlois was who was her true father. This is true in both the biological sense but also through the fact that Uther spent more time acting as her father and had generally known her own life. This statement also acts as a trigger causing her to show extreme emotions. (4x05)

One of the key lines of dialogue we have to see where Morgana’s mindset is at during this period is 

Morgana: Don’t think I don’t understand loyalty because I’ve got no one left to be loyal to

This is important because it shows that the isolation that started by The Nightmare Begins has enveloped her. Now she is no longer even fighting with or for anyone she has devoted herself to revenge and survival.

We also see the fear that drives Morgana as at the site of Emrys her first reaction is flight. During their battle, we see that they are almost evenly matched in magical power, though Morgana only really gets through due to Merlin not being willing to act decisively still. (4x06)

Morgana's obsession with Emrys becomes almost all-consuming. Morgana gives away the most emotionally significant thing left of her sister to obtain information on Emrys. She tries desperately to find the information torturing a man who spent her childhood helping to take care of her. But a layer of contradictions exists as he also tried to make her doubt her reality and is helping the person destined to prevent her ascension to queen and to kill her. This complex relationship is important here for the emotional repercussions of what seems like a straightforward attempt to extract information. (4x07)

Morgana shows no regard for even the laws of life and death gain in her quest in Lancelot Du Lac (4x09) bringing Lancelot back to life. Morgana does not even to directly finish her quest to take the throne but to ruin her once friend, and closest confidant's chance at happiness. This is driven by an obsession with her past nightmare about Gwen becoming Queen. Though of course, it has the added benefit of breaking her brother's heart. The only show of emotional connection we see in her is the fear underlying her actions and her musings on the emptiness the shade Lancelot has. 

During The Sword and The Stone (4x12-13), we see Morgana take over the castle by using Agravaine for treason. Morgana is not only ruthless in what would be considered warfare but takes initiative to be cruel to the peasants willing to let them starve to gain control. She then tortures Gawain, Elyan and Gaius not only for information but just because she gains pleasure from it. The ability to empathise with those she deemed her enemies is no longer existent, even those who have not directly harmed her. Her depressive states and emotional nubbing is only broken when she can exert control over other people. She is choosing to hurt others for her pleasure. 

This is their first battle when both Morgana and Arthur understand who the other is. Morgana calls him as her “dear brother” as a taunt. We then have this exchange:

King Arthur: What happened to you, Morgana?

King Arthur: I thought we were friends

Morgana: As did I. But alas, we were both wrong.

King Arthur: You can't blame me for my father's sins.

Morgana: It's a little late for that. You’ve made it perfectly clear how you feel about me and my kind. You're not as different from Uther as you'd like to think.

King Arthur: Nor are you.

Morgana: I’m going to enjoy killing you, Arthur Pendragon. Not even Emrys can save you now.

We see Arthur is hurt by what happened and truly did love Morgana and doesn’t like having to fight her like this. And Morgana is consumed by the pain of the past to the inability to care for the present. Arthur, however, is not giving her the power of acknowledging her as his sister. He still says “my father”. He compares her to their father and triggers her anger. We see them attempt to fight, Morgana is unable to use her magic due to Merlin and panics. 

She gathers herself, able to make her escape even coming close to killing Gwen. She then almost dies only being revived by Aithusa, who becomes her closest friend from this point on. (4x13)

We then have another time skip of over two years. Two of those years Morgana was being tortured in the pit by The Sarum. This has the effect of taking an already traumatised individual and layering two years of severe chronic trauma on top of it. She has less control of herself as a result of this and loses the little bit of impulse control she had. 

We first see Morgana after this when she is searching for the Diamair to try and learn how to beat Arthur. Morgana can capture and lure Arthur to her by kidnapping his men and using spies. She almost finds what she seeks but the creature itself has no wish to be used by her making her search futile. We also see her not even consider a father being willing to do something dangerous to save his daughter, her own acquired lack of compassion colouring her judgement. 

This is also the re-introduction of Mordred, a character that acts as the turning point in the rest of the narrative. Seeing Mordred shows some of the only real joy we see from Morgana since her sister died years back. She, however, pushes him away due to her display of rage and dysregulation. Mordred stabs her literally in the back. (5x01-2)

One of Morgana's most cruel attacks is used to try and turn Gwen into a weapon by torturing her for days, breaking down her psychological defences leaving her open to manipulation. This leaves her under control of Morgana thinking that Morgana cares for her. While this is mainly a spell able to be broken there is a part that relies on Gwen's psychology of being compassionate so she will be sympathetic to Morgana’s story and trauma. With the long psychological attacks and this play on Gwen's compassion, we see Morana essentially form a trauma bond. She manipulates Gwen’s perceptions and emotions in a way that is very similar to emotional abusers. 

 This act also kills Elyan in Morgana's attempt to harm Arthur (5x06) During this control we see how strongly Morgana used it to make Gwen not only a weapon but also they feel like they are friends again, being lonely might have been part of why he chose this method and less of a direct method like she did with Merlin. (5x07-8) 

Once Arthur is aware of her curse on Gwen he sets out to break the magic but is almost thwarted by the Dochraid who tells Morgana of his plans to save Gwen. This is interesting as the Dochraid is one of the few magic beings who truly side with Morgana betting on her strength of will over Merlin’s. Morgana is then forced to face off against the one thing other than her dragon, Mordred. Mordred puts up a good fight even saving Merlin’s secret. She felt conflicted in harming him and ends up losing to his surprise attack. (5x09)

After her plan with Gwen fails he returns to her full-tilt hunt for Emrys. She hunts the Catha for information causing terror across multiple kingdoms, then excruciatingly tortures him to try and find out. Hunting anyone down who might know these plans however fail because Alator and Finna believed in something larger and were willing to suffer and die. Morgana no longer understands the bigger picture her idea of a world free for magic isn't her leading drive anymore. After this incident, Morgana is seen to have declared all-out war with Camelot. (5x10)

Mordred acts as the last domino to fall into place before the final battle between Morgana and Arthur Pendragon. When Kara is killed and Merlin and Arthur were the drivers behind her execution, Mordred becomes angry enough at the system of Camelot to move to side with someone he saw as dangerous and broken. He gives Morgana the information she needs on Emrys. (5x11)

With Mordred by her side, Morgana makes her final move, forging a sword just to kill Arthur and finalizing the amassment of an army. She clears the way by removing Emrys from the situation, giving her and Mordred a clean shot at Arthur and the army of Camelot. However, she underestimates Merlin and we see her lose much of her Army and Mordred. This causes Morgana despair as she has to bury the last person she loved. One of the few things that could even start to pierce her depression is ripped away. 

This loss isn’t enough to stop the endless patterns of a compulsive need to take out revenge on Arthur. 

The final moments of her life she taunts her brother in his death claiming a victory. It’s however short-lived as Merlin kills her with a dragon fire-forged blade right after she claims her immortality. Her pain consumed her, and as the death of her father there is no triumph in hurting her brother as all it does is open her up for her death. (5x12-13)

[cblgblog]

I'm curious about your take on Wakanda being wronged hard in FaTWS, and by Bucky specifically? I haven't seen many people talk about it, but I'm just angry and confused as to why Bucky was to careless and rude towards Ayo and the Dora Milaje, acting as if their anger about Zemo was an overreaction. Hell, Walker got more respect from him in the end than the Dora did

I'm looking at the writers' perspective here, it was their decision and I'm wondering why. What was the thought behind it? Why did they make Bucky so insensitive? At first I thought it had to be some arc, but nothing came from it. I'm wondering what made them look at this series and think "Yes, let's make Bucky screw over the people that helped him".

It wasn't just him wronging Wakanda, it was his behavior towards Sam too, how he was so ignorant during the cop scene, dismissive of Sam's feelings, and obsessed with the shield to a point of lashing out at Sam for things that weren't his fault. Why was this a choice that was made? Bucky didn't have much personality in the other movies, they could've done anything but they chose this, and I think more people should talk about how wrong that is. Not for Bucky, but for the black people in the series who were wronged.

Okay so here’s the deal. One, I’m white, so know that going in, take my take on this for whatever it’s worth accordingly. Two, I haven’t watched the eps since they aired, with the exception of a couple scenes, so my memory—not so much of events but of specific nuances of how Bucky reacted to them—isn’t fresh.

I say that last part specifically because of Bucky and his interactions with Sam, because ultimately they bother me much less than the Wakanda stuff, and here’s why. Bucky is, to varying degrees depending on situation and episode, a dick to Sam about the shield for most of the series. Undoubtedly. But I get that, to a point. He at least explains his feelings in 1x05, why he reacted like that, and admits he fucked up. He had all his feelings for Steve wrapped up, incorrectly, in that shield, so when Sam just tossed it aside (from Bucky’s perspective), it caused him to freak out/lash out. Which was never fair to Sam, but at least culminated in Bucky recognizing that. Sam keeps saying to him that the two of them have not lived the same experience, the shield and its legacy do not mean the same thing to them, and Bucky finally realizes that. He acknowledges that neither he nor Steve grasped the full reality of the situation, and he apologizes. Does that erase what came before? No, but it’s not supposed to. It’s him acknowledging his own ignorance and trying to do better.

So, at least there’s an arc there, which is the other reason his stuff with Sam bugged me less. There was an evolution in his thinking, there was a change from wah wah, you gave up the shield, to oh wait, I kinda get it now. He realizes that his reactions were wrong, even if his feelings were understandable. Which, on a human level, I think they were. It’s a very human thing for Bucky to equate that shield directly to Steve, and take Sam’s rejection of it as a rejection of Steve. It’s understandable how he got there, given the bizarre nature of Steve’s time travel shenanigans, the nearly endless nightmare that Bucky’s life has been since he fell from the train. Losing yet another 5 years when he’s already lost 70+, all the unprocessed guilt and grief that isn’t helped by him having actually the worst therapist ever, oh my God this woman sucks at her job, she’s funny, but she’s awful. His feelings, I believe, were valid, given everything that went down. His reaction to them—the lashing out, whining, refusing to see Sam’s side of it—his reaction was not valid. But at least he gets to a point where he realizes that. At least there’s an arc.

Could they have found a different way to create conflict in the series? Sure, and I’m not gonna argue with anyone who wishes they had. For me personally, I was okay with it. Bucky’s ignorance and misplaced anger made sense to me. Bit of an aside, one of the few scenes I rewatched for this (because Youtube and knowing exactly where it was) was the cop scene, because you referenced. I’m assuming you mean the bit where Sam gets stopped, gets the ‘calm down sir’ treatment. I didn’t think Bucky was a dick in that scene? He seemed aware of what was happening, given his angry, “No he’s not bothering me, do you know who this is?” It’s actually one of a relatively few instances in the first 5 eps where Bucky does seem genuinely aware that he and Sam don’t live in the same world, even when they’re walking the same street, right next to each other. So, as far as illustrating that, and Bucky coming out of his own feelings long enough to pay attention to Sam’s, I thought it was one of the better scenes.

So, Sam and Bucky, I’m less bothered by. Bucky and Wakanda? That’s a hot garbage fire.

Zemo’s whole inclusion here, and nearly everything related to it, was incredibly botched. He’s randomly rich as fuck now, and a Baron, to match his comics counterpart. Which is not only an incredibly lazy retcon, it kills much of what made his character interesting in CW. In that movie, it was one guy, working alone, limited resources, dedicating himself to his cause. If nothing else, you had to admire his tenacity. Now suddenly he’s got a butler and a plane and piles of cash? Where was that in CW? More importantly…why? What purpose did it serve, besides making him more superficially similar to his comic self?

Why did we detour to him at all? None of his plans ultimately affect the larger narrative all that much. He starts out in prison and…ends up back in prison. Why? Why would the Dora just leave him there? Ayo says that they will bring Zemo back to face Wakandan justice…and then they just don’t. They leave him in the hands of the same people who lost him to two random dudes who were able to bust him out of prison on their own, one of those dudes being an entirely human guy, no enhanced powers, no Serum. In CW, okay, T’Challa did a deal with Everett Ross I guess, fine. But once the Americans proved they couldn’t hold him, it made no sense that the Dora would just go, okay, here you go again. They aren’t Batman. They have no reason to keep throwing the baddies in Arkham Asylum to wait ‘til next week when someone breaks out again.

The Zemo stuff had no arc to it. The only worthwhile thing was Bucky proving to Zemo that he can’t be controlled anymore, but that scene could have come about in a million better ways than it did. Ultimately, the weird little team-up with Zemo feels very cliché and contrived. It feels like a trip down a side road that dead ends to nowhere. It feels like filler, which is a particularly terrible crime when there’s only 6 episodes in the damn season.

Bucky’s dickishness towards Ayo and the other Dora really is baffling, especially when the writers went out of their way to give us that flashback, a direct, show don’t tell indication of all the Wakandans did for him. And it’s not his feelings for Steve that have him acting out this way, or at least it shouldn’t be. Steve has nothing to do with this aspect of things. Steve obviously had trust in and respect for T’Challa, and there’s no reason to think that wouldn’t extend to the Dora as well. Strong, badass women who put it all on the line for their country? Yeah, Steve should/would get that. He would have broken Zemo out of prison, if he thought it was the right call to make, but he also would’ve been like yeah, I did that, I understand that I fucked you over, I’m fully prepared to accept the consequences of that once my mission is complete, I’m sorry it went down like this. See the, “I’d like to surrender myself for disciplinary action,” he gives Phillips in First Avenger, after he goes to rescue the 107th. If it’s an authority he respects and acknowledges as having good intentions (Phillips as opposed to the Accords), Steve will ultimately give that respect back, even if he goes off to do his own thing first. He respected T’Challa and Wakanda. Bucky should have respected them even more, given his more direct connection, given the flashback scene in FatWS, given his acknowledgement that Wakanda and it’s people gave him a rare respite, a calm in the shit storm that’s been his life since 1945.

So yeah, it doesn’t make sense that he was so flippant and dismissive towards Ayo and the rest. It makes even less sense that they put up with it. It’s bad writing, that’s all I’ve got. The show is incredibly irritating, in that a lot of the plot-driven stuff is pretty fucking awful, but most of the character study stuff for Sam and Bucky is so good.

[herkawaiinovels]

MTL Booklist Review Part 1

Novels from my Ridibooks bookshelf.

Warning: spoilers ahead!

(From left to right, top to bottom)

1. [Favorite] I Raised the Beast Well - This is the second series from the same author that I’ve read and I think I’ve noticed a pattern. It’s like this: the ML wants to do it with the FL but is being patient. His patience is so blatantly written and for me, as a reader, it is just frustrating to draw it out for how many chapters. This one I don’t mind so much because I am a bit invested in the couple. UPDATE: Volume 3 redeemed this series and turned it into a favorite. Book 3 is so good. I will forgive this series’ shortcomings and I think I will give the novel below (from the same author) another try.

2. [Recommended] The Marquess is only Affectionate to Her - From the same author as above. I do like the couple but one scene really turned me off. It was when the ML was being so affectionate to the FL and kept confessing ‘I love you’ multiple times and the FL was just like “...” Say what? One thing I really dislike about c-novels is how the ML is usually overly pampering while the FL is just cold and unfeeling. It’s not the case for this one, but I want at least both of them to be have the same level of affection towards each other. UPDATE: Just like the novel above, the last volume saved this one.

3. [On Hold/Did Not Finish] Overprotected Lady - This novel gives the same vibe as ‘For Now, Let’s Get Married’ (described below). I don’t dislike the FL or ML. It is about a high-ranking knight’s daughter, who, due to circumstances in her childhood, becomes overly protected by the people around her. She can’t go out the house without permission, doesn’t attend social events, etc. But, she has a hobby of carving, and consequently, her carvings possess divine power. She becomes entangled with the Archduke, the Crown Prince, the Pope, and the neighboring kingdom’s young and promising academy arts teacher.

4. [Favorite] Moonlight Library - THIS AUTHOR MAN. SHE IS SO GOOD. She is probably my favorite Korean author at the moment (other than the author of Lucia). I’ve read two of her works and both of them are on my top favorite k-novels. I am so excited about the upcoming publication of her next work! Anyways, her novels have pretty similar tropes: contract marriage, angst (”I can’t love you”), strong and smart FL, and overly pampering ML. Trust me on this one! The smut is also so well-written.

5. [Favorite] Shu’s Lady - What can I say? I’m a sucker for the contract marriage trope. This one is about how a knight’s daughter dies protecting the transmigrated Saintess. She goes back in time and this time volunteers to be the Marquess’ wife instead of becoming a lady-in-waiting for the Saintess. In her first life, due to an oracle, the temple was recruiting a ‘sacrifice’ but that sacrifice turned out to be becoming the Marquess’ wife. The FL, being poor and also wanting to prevent the death of her guardian, volunteers for this role. Anyways, she tells herself not to fall in love with the Marquess, since in her first life, the Marquess couple ended up divorcing as he was rumored to be in love with the Saintess.

6. [On Hold] The Tyrant’s Guardian is the Wicked Witch - Currently on volume 1. The ML starts out as a child so I am kind of iffy about any romantic development that would happen between him and the 200-year-old transmigrated FL. That’s like grooming!!! Why did I buy this again?

7. [Recommended] Ever Ever After - Pretty solid. Though it takes a while for the revenge part to happen, the development in between, especially the FL’s growth, was worth the watch. Also, its pretty great to see Clint regret his old flirtatious ways HAHAHA

8. [On Hold, Recommended] Living as the Villainess Queen - From the same author of Lucia. This one, I am waiting to be published/completed.

9. [Favorite] Daisy - From my favorite author, the author of Moonlight Library. It’s so good. Read this author’s works guys. I made a post about this on Novel Updates.

10. [On Hold, Recommended] Under the Oak Tree - I am currently on the beginning of the 1st side story. All I remember is the pain. The couple is so pitiful, especially at the end of the first arc. All I remember is the pain, the various misunderstandings, and especially the angst. Just...please be happy. And please, please take out the trash father ASAP author. Will wait for this to be completed before reading.

11. [Did Not Finish] The Villainess Wants to be a Sidekick - Was not invested enough in the ML and FL by the 2nd volume. It had an interesting premise - very similar to Side Story, which I dearly love - but why did the story go that way? It was an instant-buy for me because of the plot, but the execution wasn’t my taste.

12. [On Hold/Did Not Finish] For Now, Let’s Get Married - I will perhaps continue reading it someday. I don’t have a problem with the FL/ML. They are both decent. The plot reminded me of The Evil Lady Will Change manhwa, that’s why I bought it. The FL, for some circumstances, married the ML who was known as the monstrous duke of the South. At first she thought the ML wanted nothing to do with her, because he kept avoiding her and didn’t even want an official marriage ceremony. Little did she know, it’s because of a family curse he has.

13. [Recommended] History at the Library - A nice, short read. It’s a fluffy and sweet novel with the right amount of angst. Plus, it involves contract dating and cohabitation!

14. [Did Not Finish, Maybe Recommended] I Will Escape the Flower of Trials - I really thought I would like this. The main pairing is the villainess and the pitiful 2nd lead of the original novel. Again, similar to my beloved Side Story. So why... I even made a whole glossary for the various office position terms. So why...why FL...why don’t you let the ML pamper you. This is a cider type of novel.

15. [Favorite] Evil Cinderella Needs a Villain - This one has contract dating, cohabitation, and a bit of angst. I love the parallels between the leads (FL is a former villainess trying to live kindly in her 2nd life).

16. [On Hold/Did Not Finish, Average] I am the Ex-Girlfriend of a Soldier - It’s pretty fun. I think I got busy so I wasn’t able to finish reading it, but now I seem to have no motivation to pick it up again. Maybe I’ll read it once the translations are complete.

17. [To Read] The Villain’s Saviour - I read a little bit...maybe I’ll read it someday, when the story in the manhwa engages me again.

18. [Did Not Finish, Average] Trying to Find a Lover for my Fiancee - The premise is pretty interesting, the FL remembers that her current life was from a novel, and that her character ends up unhappily married to the emperor in the future. However, when she remembered this fact, it was already too late, because their engagement was already finalized. So she goes on to find a replacement lover for him. So what was my beef with this series? Well, firstly, I fell in love with the second ML. Secondly, I couldn’t really understand the appeal of the ML. And thirdly, I felt like the FL needed to mature a bit more before she could start a relationship with the ML.

19. [On Hold/Did Not Finish] I Raised an Obsessive Servant - Maybe it was too dark for me? The FL was really quite traumatized by her first death, and throughout the whole series, she had multiple other brushes with death, making her thoughts a bit dark. I think she really needed therapy. Unfortunately, the middle ages didn’t have such a thing.

20. [Favorite] Materialistic Princess - This one is so much fun! The series reminds me of Little-Miss-Not-So-Sidekick with how much fun the story and leads are.

21. [Average, Maybe Recommended] I am the Villainess - Hmm...I think these cider types of novels just aren’t my taste. I know some people who really love them though. But at least I was able to finish this one. The plot is like this: while in the temple, Natalie gets a revelation that her life was a book and she was the villainess. She tries her best to distance herself from the heroine, but no matter how much she tries, she couldn’t stop the development leading to her doom. My main beef? Not enough fluffy scenes.

[haloud]

many times, many ways

a malex christmas gift for christi @michaels-blackhat, who inspired me into holiday fluff and who spent this month writing wonderful gifts--I hope you enjoy this one in return! Happy holidays, everyone!

-- ao3 --

An unmarked package. An envelope, more accurately, hand-folded out of plain brown paper and left right in front of Alex’s front door. Buffy is sniffing at it before Alex can stop her; he snags her by the collar, heart in his throat, but she’s close enough to nudge it with her nose. Alex holds his breath, but she just lets out a soft boof, then loses interest and heads back inside. Alex, however, can’t be quite so cavalier. It may not have exploded when Buffy moved it, but there are ways other than explosives that a strange package can fuck you up. He fetches a pair of gloves and a particle mask before he even touches it. A small gesture toward security, maybe, but it makes him feel safe enough to work a pocketknife under the tape and slowly pull the paper apart.

Alex blinks twice at what’s inside. Pulls his mask off so it falls around his neck and blinks again. Reaches out to touch it.

It’s…a Christmas ornament. But not any, it’s—it’s light in his palm, a tiny thing, a miniature of a poster he had as a kid, the one Maria smuggled into his car after school and he hung up in the toolshed where no one would see it. Alex holds it up. Dangling from a scrap of black ribbon, the little orange rectangle catches the light, gleaming off the black enamel picking out the singer’s little face and the Danger! At the Picture Show lettering. It’s cold when he clenches it in his fist, heart pumping a hundred miles an hour.

For a second, he’s seventeen again, and he has to laugh at the memory of that kid he used to be, earbuds stuffed in his ears, knees jammed up against the desk waiting for the first period bell to ring. He grins despite himself, turning over the paper again, searching for any kind of note or indication who it’s from. Rosa, maybe? Secret presents are definitely her thing, and she was the one who gave him his first DatPS CD when he was fourteen. Maria is the other person who comes to mind, but Alex hopes she would just give it to him in person—he doesn’t like to think of her being too anxious to give him something like this face to face, what with all the mending fences going on.

He smooths his thumb over the ornament’s glossy surface one more time, then puts it on a shelf for safekeeping for lack of anywhere more festive to put it. He doesn’t really decorate for Christmas; the holidays were only ever more of the same when he was a kid, with a thin, grotesque veneer of family over the top of it.

Things get even more festive the next day, though, when he gets home from work and finds another package, in the same brown paper, sitting on the porch steps. It’s bigger this time, three dimensional, and after a moment of deliberation, Alex picks up the phone. Guerin might laugh at him, but that’s a price he has to be willing to pay.

He doesn’t laugh, though. He rolls up in his truck, that, despite the circumstances and the vaguely tipsy feeling of fear lurking in his blood, Alex has to laugh at—there’s a sprig of mistletoe wrapped in bright red ribbon hanging from the rearview mirror.

Michael bounds over to him and says, slightly breathless, “What did you need me to check out?”

Alex waves his hand in the direction of the stairs. “It’s probably nothing. I got something similar yesterday, and it was fine, I just—”

“Oh. Oh, yeah, I get it. Here, let me.” Michael squeezes Alex’s shoulder, a quick, warm, reassuring touch, then takes a step back. Focusing, he narrows his eyes at the little package, then wings it in an arc off into the empty desert.

A second passes. Nothing blows up. Michael pulls the package back in.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he says, “Sorry if whatever’s in there broke. But whoever sent it to you should have known better. Fucking idiot.”

Alex lets out a long breath, forcing his shoulders to drop and his brow to smooth. “No, it’s okay. ‘Tis the season, right? It could be from anyone.”

“Still.” Michael’s mouth curls downward, like he tastes something foul, like he tends to look whenever he tries to make nice with Kyle. It’s exasperating. It’s also a little sweet, in a twisted way.

The box has the same wrapping, same tape job as yesterday’s envelope. It comes apart easily, and inside is—Alex pulls it out, holds it up.

It’s. It’s an alien, full-on little green man alien, holding up its noodly little hands in two peace signs. Wearing a Santa hat. Covered in gaudy glitter. And still intact—only one piece has snapped off, a little piece of red molding clay that someone clearly fashioned so an ornament hook could go through it.

After a shocked second, Alex lets out a very uncharacteristic giggle; then, face burning, he drops the little alien back into the box and glances up at Michael, who’s watching him with his head tilted and a shy smile of his own on his pink mouth.

Their eyes meet for a long, breath-catching moment, a spark jumping through the cold, dry air from one body to the next. Then they both look away, clearing throats, shoving hands in pockets, and looking up at the sky instead of back at each other, each of them so large in the other’s sight to block out the sun.

“Secret Santa?” Michael says, voice cheerfully flippant. He’s still grinning somehow. Alex wants to wipe that look off his face. With his own face.

“Something like that.”

“Next time try to get someone who knows you better than to get that touristy shit.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Michael leaves after that, making it both easier and harder to breathe. Touristy shit aside, Alex puts the Santa alien on the shelf beside the first ornament, and later that night, after tossing and turning for a little while, he grabs his crutches, goes to the shelf, gropes in Jim’s old toolbox for a tube of superglue, and hunches over the coffee table to fix the clay part, making it an ornament once again.

One is an event. Two is a coincidence. Three ornaments in three days, and it’s a pattern.

No brown paper package shows up the third day; rather, he finds the ornament when he checks his mailbox in town. It’s a little laptop this time, nothing special, but it still brings a smile to his face when he holds it in his palm.

Who could the mystery sender be? It turns into something of an obsession over the next few days, which see him receiving a log cabin, a beagle, and a beautiful handmade silver and turquoise songbird. It’s clearly someone who knows him now, and someone who knows him well enough to know his home, his pet, what he does for a living…it’s a narrow field, to be sure—basically just Maria, Liz, Kyle, or Rosa. He rubs his thumb over the beagle’s little painted nose while Buffy shoots it a suspicious look from the couch as he considers his options.

Whoever it is, Guerin must know, because since the second day, the ornaments have arrived in his mailbox or on his porch unwrapped or in clear plastic wrap if it’s raining out.

Of course, all the evidence could point toward it being Guerin himself. But…somehow, Alex can’t bring himself to believe it, if only because the thought of Michael thinking of him like this, over time, with dedication, makes Alex’s chest ache with longing to see him, to hear him, to feel him. Better it be some scheme of Rosa’s. It’s just…better that way.

The gifts keep coming. Day seven, it’s the Air Force crest; on the eighth and ninth days, he finds a sunbathing alien and a bowl of ramen on his front step. They both go on the increasingly-crowded shelf, though he shoots the ramen a nasty look when he puts it in place. Another point in the Maria column, considering last time he went to one of her movie nights, he was asked to put pizza rolls in the oven and managed to burn them despite absolutely following the instructions on the package.

The tenth day’s ornament arrives in a blue Tupperware container, just translucent enough to see the ornament inside, but not so much he can tell what it is.

He opens it and finds a ball ornament wrapped in strips of paper cut from dictionaries in ten languages he can identify, including all six he speaks. It’s sturdy papier-mâché, but Alex still holds it like it might shatter if he breathes on it too hard. Every line defines things like family, like love, like forever. He returns it to its box and puts it on the shelf with the others, but his fingers linger over the lid, because there are lines he hasn’t traced with his fingertips yet, and he can hardly tear himself away.

He goes into town later that day on a grocery run with words still swimming in his mind and his mouth fixed shut because he’s not sure what might come out. But no level of distraction or concentration could keep him from being blindsided when he runs into Guerin outside the Crashdown, their bodies catching shoulder to shoulder, Guerin’s hand on his arm to steady him—their collision almost knocked a big box out of Guerin’s hands, but he steadies it with a little help from his powers until Alex has his balance back and he can take it in both hands again.

“Alex,” he breathes, then clears his throat. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“I could say the same to you,” Alex manages.

Guerin shakes the box lightly. “Liz wants to surprise Arturo with the decorations this year, so I figured I’d offer my services. I’m the only one who can get tinsel into all the hard-to-reach places, after all.”

“Oh, that’s—that’s really nice.”

“Nah, I’m getting paid. Mostly in milkshakes and fries, but who’s complaining?”

They stare across the box. It’s been like this, lately, a small talk stiffness to their interactions, and Alex doesn’t know how to make it stop. But at the same time, he isn’t sure he wants to. It’s almost…nice. A couple weeks ago Alex drove by the junkyard just because he could, and Michael smelled like snow and pine and commented on the weather, and that brief exchange left the both of them grinning like idiots by the time Alex drove away. They aren’t lovers again, not yet. But they’re something. They’re getting there.

“Want some help? I’m free tonight,” Alex says, and Michael smiles at him, and that’s that. Alex comes back late, once the Crashdown is closed and Arturo is in bed. Liz and Rosa come downstairs to work on the decorations too, and more hands makes for light work, though Michael does most of the work without using his hands at all. They’re finished in no time. Alex plugs the lights in, flips the switch, and Rosa laughs, real and unrestrained and tugging Liz into the middle of the floor, dotted with multicolored puddles of light, twirling her in a circle. Sometime during the decorating, Rosa managed to stick Michael with a present ribbon, and it bobbles on top of his curls as he slinks over to Michael’s side to knock their shoulders together. Alex lets him, in the spirit of the season, and because every time Michael touches him his body goes weightless.

Now is as good a time to ask as any.

“So, Guerin,” he says, “I’m still getting ornaments every day. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that you haven’t told me, would you?”

Michael shrugs and grins that cowboy grin. “Looks to me like you’ve got yourself a secret admirer.”

“Secret, huh?”

“Looks that way.”

And before Alex can say another word, Michael is walking away to join Liz and Rosa dancing, whistling Let It Snow. He gets away from Alex that time, but before their little impromptu party is over, Alex manages to steal the bow from his hair, just glancing his fingers off those curls, so lightly Guerin doesn’t even seem to notice.

Whether he’s the ornament giver or not, Alex puts the bow on the shelf with the others. Just in case.

The next day, there’s no ornament when he leaves in the morning, and nothing in his mailbox when he checks it that evening, either. He’s—frustrated, okay, rather than sad, because what was the point? Stopping ten days in, what was even the point? It leaves him feeling untethered, without that tiny little thing to look forward to each and every day. Somehow, without even really noticing, he’d kind of gotten into the Christmas spirit. He even, feeling ridiculous the entire time, went to the pet store and bought a couple gifts for his dog, because he’s in a gift-giving mood even if he’s not sure he’s exchanging gifts with anyone else this year.

He shoulders his way out of the office, avoiding eye contact with the clerk, who’s surely noticed him coming in every single day, when he used to only check his mail once a week at best. Whatever. Now he has no reason to come back so often, and they’ve got plenty of time to forget him, like the way things should be.

He’s so caught up in his thoughts that he almost smacks Maria right in the face with the door as he leaves. She yelps, and he catches it at just the last second, tripping over apologies while she flaps her hand at him dismissively.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, Alex, really,” she laughs. Alex steadies her with his hands on her shoulders, and she tugs him to the side, out of the way of the sidewalk traffic. “I was hoping to run into you anyway. I have something for you.”

Oh shit. Anxiety spikes, and Alex blabbers, “Oh, shit, Maria, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know we were doing gifts this year—”

Great. Their friendship is finally finding even footing again, and Alex immediately puts himself in the red again by hitting her with a door and tells her straight up that he didn’t get her anything for Christmas. Batting a fuckin’ thousand, isn’t he. No wonder his secret admirer or whatever got bored of him.

“Alex, seriously, chill.” She tweaks his chin. “No presents is one hundred percent fine. You think I’m all about worshipping at the capitalist altar that is Christmas? Hell no. Buuut someone asked me for a favor, and it just so happened that I had something for you anyway, so here you go.”

She grabs his hand and presses into it a beautifully beaded eight-pointed star, red and white and gold. Alex gasps, and says, “This is—”

“One of Mom’s, yeah.” That wry, sad smile Maria gets when she talks about her mother curls up on her face. “She makes a lot of them on her good days, and her nurse says it’s good that she’s working with her hands. And Mom specifically said this one was for you.”

“God.” Alex swallows and grips the star as tightly as he can without crushing it. “Let me know next time you’re going to visit her, okay? So I can thank her in person?”

“Sure thing.”

Maria blinks rapidly for a moment, and Alex, understanding, doesn’t mention it. She composes herself quickly, and then Alex just has to ask:

“So it hasn’t been you the whole time, has it?”

“What, leaving you the ornaments? I am not that sappy.”

“Come on, there’s nothing wrong with being a little sentimental,” he teases.

“Uh huh. Sure. I forgot I was talking to the master of fuzzy feelings himself.”

“Do as I say, not as I do.”

Maria laughs at that and, hooking her arm through his, starts off down the street. “Now, we may not be exchanging presents this year, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make you help me with the rest of my shopping.”

--

The next day’s ornament is a classic Han Solo one, and if Alex lets out an undignified gasp when he sees it, Buffy is the only creature around to witness it. If he spends the rest of the day finding and watching the Star Wars Christmas Special, well, the same goes for that too, and his dignity is firmly intact.

The day after that, Liz texts him to come to the Crashdown, and since it’s a weekend he makes it there to meet her on her lunch break. The decorations look just as good in the daylight, if an inch or two less magical, and Alex has to duck his head to hide his grin when he remembers Michael very seriously placing a Santa hat on each individual alien in the place.

Liz beckons him over to a booth, two shakes and a plate of fries already in front of her. “Figured since I called you out, I could at least treat you,” she says. “On top of what I called you here for, which is….” She does a little drumroll on the table, then plonks an ornament box down on the table.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Alex bursts out.

“I know, right? I couldn’t believe it when I found it.”

Laughing and shaking his head, Alex picks it up. It’s a cat wearing an antenna headband so, so similar to the one perched on Liz’s head—the wrong shade of green, but still.

“I don’t suppose this is your way of telling me you’ve been leaving me ornaments all month, is it.”

“Pfft, no way.” Liz steals a fry from his tray and crunches it smugly. “Secret admirer, Manes. It’s supposed to be secret.”

Day fourteen is something delicate, so much so he’s a little scared to touch it. It’s thin glass, deep blue, and when it catches a light source it sends shimmering blue all around the room. It’s the day Alex stops trying to guess who his mystery gift-giver is, because now he’s been given light to hold in his hands, and it makes him feel—makes him—

Someone thought he was worthy of this. Someone wanted him to have it. Whether or not they ever tell him who they are, that means something.

His fifteenth ornament is the third one to come wrapped in a package, but this time it’s in an actual USPS shipping box, and it comes with a letter inside, in handwriting he recognizes.

Captain, it says, we got pressed into service again, and I was the unlucky bastard who drew the short straw, so I’m sending this to you, along with a warning that you fucking owe me…

The ornament is basic, a decently pretty white and silver snowflake. He puts the letter on the shelf with it. If the season is forcing everyone else into a sentimental mood, he might as well succumb to it too.

He wakes up on the sixteenth day with a bit of a sentiment hangover and lets himself lie in bed for a little while longer than usual, fondling Buffy’s soft ears and cradling this lovely, bittersweet feeling inside himself. If Christmas is the deadline for this whole ornament thing, he’s over halfway to the end. He takes the morning slowly, lingering over his coffee and over the view of the desert through his kitchen window, the high def white-gray limning of the world you get with a serious cold.

That day’s ornament doesn’t match Alex’s mood at all, but he still chuckles and shakes his head when he sees it. It’s another patch job like the Santa alien, but this time some sort of Valentines leftover—a traditional Roswell Gray holding a big red heart that says you’re out of this world!, with a handmade place for ornament hooks to go. It looks absurdly out of place next to everything else he’s accumulated, but he gives it its place of honor anyway.

He doesn’t expect his seventeenth ornament to arrive on the doorstep or in the mail, and sure enough, the pattern holds and it’s hand delivered at like ten o’clock that night. He almost doesn’t answer the door, but to be honest he’d left his leg on after work expecting just this.

“Ho ho ho,” an exhausted-looking Kyle says, shoving a box into Alex’s hands.

“Dude, did you drive all the way out here after your shift? It could have waited.”

“Nah, this is my one good deed for the year.”

“You’re literally a surgeon. Your job is good deeds.”

“Fine—my one act of charity.”

Alex bristles at that. “I don’t need—”

“Not for you.” Kyle punches him lightly on the shoulder.

Cryptic bastard.

“Go ahead and open it,” Kyle says, “My blood is eighty percent coffee right now, and I want to get home before I crash”

“You know you can stay if you need to.”

“Yeah, yeah. Open it.”

Alex’s eyebrows go straight up when he does and pulls out a shimmery white ball with the Buffy the Vampire Slayer logo on it. “You didn’t pick this out yourself. You asked me why I gave my dog a porn name the first time you met her.”

“Hey! I listened when you explained—” When Alex fixes him with a glare, Kyle gives in with a laugh. “Okay, okay, Rosa helped. Oh ye of little faith.”

Kyle leaves after that, with a quick hug and a Merry Christmas, and Alex goes to his shelf to put the ornament away. He hasn’t been keeping them in chronological order, more a sort of a…thematic grouping. The Buffy ball goes with Maria’s star, Liz’s alien cat, and the snowflake from his unit.

He looks up and turns away, casting his eyes all around the room to hide from no one the fact that he’s getting a little bit choked up.

Maybe he’ll buy some lights tomorrow. Or tinsel or something. No reason he can’t go in on the decorating, right? Why is he still holding himself back?

--

He doesn’t make it to the store the next day, or the two after that, three days that see him receiving a coffee mug, a UFO that’s supposed to light up when it’s plugged in, and a little truck hauling a Christmas tree.

He wonders if maybe that last one is a promise.

The pattern of hand deliveries every other day has been broken. But, in the spirit of the season—Alex doesn’t dwell on the fact that he never got one hand-delivered by Michael and instead chooses to think about the other thing that could mean.

On day twenty-one, he gets a glass teardrop that shimmers purple and golden, and on day twenty-two he gets a golden disc engraved with a tiny, perfect star chart.

The day before Christmas Eve, he opens the door to find an acoustic guitar.

As if he didn’t already know.

--

Christmas Eve dawns gray and dismal with the smell of snow in the air. Buffy trots around the yard in circles, lifting her nose every couple minutes to sniff the cold, and Alex cradles his coffee in both hands to keep them warm while he watches her, content. Part of him regrets that he never went and got more decorations, but it’s okay. This whole month—it’s been such an unexpected thing to be able to accept a simple joy into his life, to let himself expect a little, uncalled-for gift every day, that all he can feel at this point is just…peace. He couldn’t have asked for anything else. He didn’t.

Buffy barks, and Alex looks up just in time to see a familiar truck coming down the road, the bed covered with a tarp. Alex puts his mug down on the railing and regrets it instantly for want of something to do with his hands as Michael parks, opens the door, and jumps out of the car.

“Hey,” Alex says.

“Hey. Merry Christmas,” Michael says in return.

They just stare at each other for a moment, something that happens a lot when it’s just the two of them. Like they have to steel themselves to speak. Like they have to make sure that no, it’s not, it’s not the time to take that step forward and drown themselves in each other. It’s okay, yeah, it’s okay to just be here. Like this.

“Want some help with that?” Alex tilts his chin in the direction of the tarp.

“Y-yeah. Sure.” He stumbles over the word and ducks his head, rounding the truck to reveal what’s underneath.

It’s exactly what Alex expected, and everything he never did. His heart in his throat, he touches one of the branches on the tree, needles pricking his skin, sap sticky on his fingertips when he pulls them away.

“You get the other end,” Michael says, and they carry it inside together, a crate full of other decorations floating along behind them, Buffy pulling up the rear, eyeing it suspiciously. She settles in the corner to watch as Michael sets the tree up, hammers it into the stand, and positions it in the corner where it’ll be out of Alex’s way.

Alex hovers in the kitchen, making them both more coffee, hands shaking a little bit on the grounds, on the filter, on the carafe. The tree still takes up too much room. Michael takes up too much room. He always has. In this tiny house. In Alex’s heart and in his head and between his ribs. Michael pulls things out of the crate one by one and hangs them in the air around himself—bundles of lights, a skirt for the tree, multicolored balls and delicate paper snowflakes to fill all the spots left between the ornaments in Alex’s new collection.

Their fingers brush when Alex hands him a mug, and Alex lets the moment hang there. Skin on skin in the most casual, innocent way, but with Michael’s golden eyes so close it still manages to heat his blood, dry his mouth, cover him in yearning.

“Thanks,” Michael says hoarsely. He drags his index finger along Alex’s as he pulls his hand away, sending a shiver through the both of them.

Decorating for Christmas shouldn’t feel forbidden, but it does. It does, as they circle around each other, spiraling lights around the tree, eyes catching on every pass, Alex’s face so warm every time he sees Michael’s answering blush, on his cheeks, on his lips. Once the lights are on, they start in on the ornaments. Alex picks them off the shelf in chronological order, passing half of them to Michael, keeping half of them—like Mimi’s star, Han Solo, and the guitar—for himself.

“How did you manage it?” He asks eventually, fixing the teardrop to a high branch so Buffy doesn’t get any ideas.

“A friend who knows how to navigate Etsy, a sister with Amazon Prime, and a little bit of old-fashioned gumption.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Sure am.” Michael grins with satisfaction at the Valentines alien. Then he sobers a bit and says, “Hey, look, I’m sorry about the packaging the first couple days. I wanted to surprise you—I wasn’t thinking, and I should have.”

“It’s okay. You changed it up, and…yeah. It’s fine.”

“Thanks.”

A couple minutes pass in silence as Alex searches for what else to say. To ask. Why did he do it? When did he get the idea?

He asks, “What about the others? The ones you had Maria, Liz, Kyle, and the guys pick out? Red herrings, or did you just run out of ideas?”

“Oh, I had lots of ideas.” Michael presses his shoulder to Alex’s, coming in close to hang the star chart right beside the silver bird. Nudging him shyly, Michael says, “But my favorite one was the one where you got reminded how many people care about you.”

Alex almost drops the UFO at that, at Michael’s absurd honesty. He has nothing else to say, and they finish decorating the tree in peaceful silence. When they finish, Alex turns the lights off, and Michael plugs the tree in, and the gray day is dark enough that everything lights up bright like it would in the evening, all the colors of the rainbow.

“Fuck,” Alex breathes. It’s like a punch to the gut, happiness and disbelief and the unavoidable need to hoard this feeling, this moment, that comes on the heels of those feelings.

“So you like it?”

“Fuck,” Alex repeats, “Michael. I love it. It’s…I just…”

“Good.”

Michael, hesitating all the way, reaches out and takes Alex’s hand, sliding their fingers home together.

“I have one more ornament for you.” And he reaches into his pocket.

Alex makes a strangled noise when he sees it. Instinct tells him to rip his hand out of Michael’s and flee to the other side of the room to regroup, but he stays rooted in place, struggling, grasping for anything to say.

The console shard—because that’s what it has to be, just with gauzy ribbon looped and knotted carefully around one end so it dangles neatly from Michael’s fingers—shimmers in the soft rainbow light. Michael’s eyes shimmer along with it, equally as alien.

“I can’t,” Alex blurts. “I can’t take it. Michael. No. It’s—”

“No, no, listen, please.” Michael tugs on his hand like he wants to pull him closer, but Alex can’t—he just can’t—

He can’t be what ties Michael to Earth. He can’t be the sole tether that keeps him here, to the world that hurt him again and again, even if it’s the thing he wants most in the world, to protect, to hoard him like he hoards every sliver of a happy memory, where no one can take it away from him. That’s why he—months ago, when he most thought Michael was slipping through his hands, he gave him the console piece he found so he could go if he needed to. And now Michael tries to hand another piece back to him again?

“I can’t,” Alex says again, stuck on repeat.

“Hey, hey,” Michael fumbles for Alex’s other hand, and Alex lets him catch it, because with Michael holding him in place he doesn’t feel as cold. “It’s not what you think. I’m not asking you to keep me here, or anywhere, just.”

He swallows. He’s beautiful, in this light most of all. The most beautiful thing Alex has ever seen. Shining in every way, from the golden brushstrokes of his hair to the heart of him, who knew that Alex must never have had much of a holiday and decided to give him one.

Alex wants to kiss him. Wants to swallow whatever words Michael is going to say next and end the conversation there.

“Look.” Michael squeezes his hands. “When my mom—when she died. And after. Everything I worked for, everything I built the console for and devoted my life to, I thought it was over. Useless. But…you told me you were my family. And I know it took me too long to believe it, but I do now.

“I built the console because I was searching for my family. And now that it’s right in front of me, I want you to have a piece of it. Want us to have a piece of it.”

Alex searches Michael’s face, every earnest, open inch, until he can’t stand it anymore, until he drops Michael’s hands in favor of cradling his face, pulling him in, and taking his mouth in a slow, deep, careful kiss, tasting coffee on his tongue, drowning in the coming home of him, of his mouth on Alex’s, the rightness of having him in his arms. Michael responds with enthusiasm, stroking his back with his broad hands, making eager little noises into the kiss, going along with it until Alex pulls away to look at him again.

“You’re unbelievable,” Alex breathes.

“Thought it was the season for believing,” Michael replies, a little smile returning to his face.

“That’s what they tell me,” Alex says, and kisses him again.

--

Michael stays the night, wrapped up in Alex’s blankets, wrapped up in every inch of space Alex has ever thought was empty or cold. He doesn’t even need to set the heater that night, kept plenty warm by Michael’s body all along his back, holding him so close.

They wake up slow in the morning, but Alex earliest, because…

Well, even after everything Michael has done this month and everything he said the previous day, Alex is nervous about Michael’s Christmas present. He needs those extra minutes, watching him sleep peacefully, to steel himself.

But when he watches Michael wake up, sees how the first thing he does is look for Alex so he can smile at him, he isn’t so worried anymore.

They bring the blankets out into the sitting room, bundling up under the tree. Buffy leaves her bed to lie beside them instead, on top of the blankets, effectively pinning them in place, so Michael has to use his powers to get the wood and kindling set and strike a match and get a fire going in the fireplace.

The light flickers like something living off the console shard hanging from one of the uppermost branches. Heart in his throat, Alex pulls the envelope—the same one that held the ornament he got on December 1st—out of his pocket.

“I have something for you, too.”

Michael takes the envelope, eyes locked on Alex’s like he’s waiting for permission to open it. When Alex nods, he slips the tape open carefully, almost reverently. Like Alex, he’s never really gotten a gift before. Not one he thought meant anything. Not one he thought could stay.

He shakes the envelope, and a key falls into his hand.

“It’s to the front door,” Alex says to fill the silence.

Michael’s fist clamps around it with a familiar desperation, like someone might come out of nowhere to snatch it away. He blinks glossy eyes, wet lashes up at Alex, his mouth open, closed, throat bobbing as he swallows. Alex reaches out to stroke his closed fist.

“You’re my family. You’re my home. I don’t ever want to shut you out; I want you to be here. With me. Together. And I think you want that too.”

“Alex,” Michael chokes, and then he’s in Alex’s arms, wrapped around him in a hug.

He stays like that for most of the day, handsy and gentle, reaching out to touch him whenever they’re separated even for a moment. The next day passes much the same—then the next they both have to go back to work, live lives outside of their little holiday bubble.

Alex gets home first. He takes the dog out, gets dinner out of the freezer. Then about an hour later, he hears a car outside, footsteps on the stairs, then, after a minute’s pause, a key slots into the lock.

And Alex knows.

[gffa]

Hii I'm new to the Fandom and I'm obsessed with your blog! I ADORE your point of view really its making me love star wars more and more, my question is do you have any recommendations on which books to read to understand more about the lore and where cannon is right now??

Hi!  I’m glad if I can help you like SW lore more and thank you for such kind words, I deeply appreciate them.  And, oh, what a tricky question that is, without meaning to be!A lot depends on which part of the SW lore you’re looking for–are you looking for technical terms or character backstory tidbits?  Lore on Force woo?  The stories that help better inform the structure of Star Wars?  Because I feel like my answers would be different for each of those!So, I’m going to do a “here’s what I think is the best places to start when getting into SW supplementary material” list:1.  THE TV SERIESIf you haven’t watched The Clone Wars and Rebels yet, those should be first on your list!  TCW is there to help give you the bigger picture of just how awful the Clone Wars were, how politics dragged everything down into the mud, and will give you a ton of feelings on established characters.  I’m currently in the middle of a rewatch and its kicking up all these feelings I had and you can really tell that this is what George Lucas’ world looks like when they have the time to explore it.  (Though, hell, even with this show, it only covers things in broad strokes, especially because it is still aimed at younger audiences, too.)And Rebels is just a really great series by itself, but it also does a fantastic job of showing you just how complicated the war against the Empire was, how hard it was to wind together these various minor factions into one bigger Rebellion, as well as it does a lot to show what it’s like for Jedi after the genocide of their people.  It also has some killer cameos and resolution to things started in TCW and moments of confrontation for all the characters.Both of those really only have minor moments of exploring the Force Woo Lore (but there’s really not one singular place that explains it, imo, it’s something you have to piece together to see the bigger picture), but they’re fantastic for echoing the narrative structure of Star Wars and its themes.2.  THE COMICSThey’re the next best stop, they are also really great stories in terms of the character arcs, as well as the next best place to get more on the themes of Star Wars.  There have been so many moments, more than anywhere else, that I have wanted to just absolutely (virtually) SCREAM, because HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A HELL OF A MOMENT or HOLY SHIT THAT UNDERSTOOD STAR WARS SO WELL or just had really amazing moments.  I would recommend starting with:- The Star Wars 2015 comic (by Jason Aaron) and read it concurrently with Darth Vader vol. 1 (by Kieron Gillen), as they’re meant to go together.- Then read Darth Vader: Dark Lord of the Sith (by Charles Soule)- After that, in any order:  Age of the Republic comics (by Jody Houser), Obi-Wan & Anakin (by Charles Soule), Jedi of the Republic - Mace Windu (by Matt Owens), and Kanan: The Last Padawan (by Greg Wiseman).- I also really enjoy the Star Wars Adventures comics from IDW, the Poe Dameron comics (by Charles Soul) are incredible and give a lot of context to the sequel trilogy and Shattered Empire does a lot in the same vein.3.  THE NOVELSNovels are trickier, because some are good for lore but aren’t necessarily stories I would recommend to new fans, others are amazing stories but don’t necessarily have a lot of lore.  So, I’m going to focus on the books that I think do the most bridge work and help you understand the bigger picture of Star Wars:- The Star Wars Battlefront II video game (okay, not a book, bear with me) does an amazing job of giving more context to how the Empire ended and how it connected to the First Order.  You can do a search on YouTube for “Battlefront 2 game movie” or similar search parameters and watch it like a movie, it’s about two hours and it’s wonderful.  Fall in love with the characters with me, understand why Jakku was important, and get some amazing cameos (and stunning planets) for the OT trio!- The Aftermath trilogy by Chuck Wendig also does a ton of showing how the Empire’s fall wasn’t instantaneous after Endor’s moon, as well as the faltering early steps of the New Republic, and a ragtag bunch who hunt down Imperial war criminals and all come to love each other AND I LOVE THEM, sobs.  I would add in the caveat that I think these work massively better as audiobooks, so check if your library has them and maybe you can check them out on-line and be prepared to give the books a little time to grow on you.- Bloodline by Claudia Gray shows Leia six years before TFA and the New Republic still faltering and how she discovers the early origins of the First Order and loses her position in the Senate and starts up the Resistance.  It’s at its best when it’s a Leia book, but it also does do a lot of groundwork for the connections between the OT and the ST!- From a Certain Point of View by various authors, is a collection of short stories, many of which are hits and many of which are misses, but the hits are amazing.  If nothing else, “Master & Apprentice” (by Claudia Gray–not to be confused with the full novel of the same title), “Time of Death” (by Cavan Scott), “There Is Another” (by Gary D. Shmidt), and “An Incident Report” (by Daniel Mallory Ortberg) are all MUST READS.  I read all of them and I’m glad I did, but if a story isn’t gripping you, feel free to skim over it for the next, they’re only connected by theme, not events.- I loved both Spark of the Resistance (by Justina Ireland) and Resistance Reborn (by Rebecca Roanhorse) as books set between TLJ and TROS, where I grew even more fond of the characters getting to have adventures together.  I also thought the Dooku: Jedi Lost audiodrama was probably the best PT era canon book to recommend, too.4.  THE GUIDEBOOKSGuidebooks are more fun when you’re already invested and just want to look up a thing or two, but there’s at least one that I think is a must-read from cover to cover:  Star Wars Propaganda: A History of Persuasive Art in the Galaxy by Pablo Hidalgo.  It doesn’t sound like it would be that interesting–a history told through art?  But it’s an absolutely stellar bird’s eye view and explanation of how things happened in the GFFA, how the Clone Wars happened, how the Republic fell, how the Empire rose, how the Rebellion fought back, how the New Republic rose, how the First Order knocked it all down again.5.  ANYTHING ELSE?I love the game Jedi: Fallen Order and I think it does an amazing job of staying true to the Jedi Order, their culture, and the themes of Star Wars.  You can do the same thing of looking for a movie-version on YouTube, it should be about four hours long to cover the majority of the game, and I absolutely fell in love with the characters and the world, it was clear they really cared about the story and the lore and making this feel like a game where you got to experience becoming a Jedi.This isn’t a list of “stories I thought were good” but ones aimed at establishing the best understanding of the bigger galaxy, as well as stories that I thought were really good for new fans!  While I put them generally in the order I would suggest them, if something’s not working for you, feel free to drop it and move on to another thing, either coming back later to the dropped one or not, because this should be fun and not boring work.HOPEFULLY THAT’S A GOOD PLACE TO GET YOU STARTED and if someone else would suggest a good Starting Place For A New Fan, feel free to chime in!

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Water Symbols and Ties Between Grady and Terminus: “A” Rewatch by @wdway

This is another re-watch from @wdway. She totally saves my butt on busy weeks when I don’t have time to write new theories, lol.

Here are her observations:

Hi ladies! I hope you're both doing well. I did a rewatch of s4e16 A, series number 51. I think it's important to mention that this episode was co-written by Scott Gimple and Angela Kang.

It starts out with a flashback of the prison and then we have Rick, Carl's and Michonne talking about how hungry they are. Later, they catch a rabbit in a snare. I thought about how much rabbits were featured in this back half of s4. It emphasized the size when Rick says, "A small one." Later, Michonne mentions again it was a small rabbit. This made me think of Lennie talking about the little ones.

I'll skip over the Claimers, other than the car scene where Daryl and Rick were talking. Daryl brings Rick a bottle of water. There's no label. It's just clear. It's actually a good size bottle and he sets it down in front of them. He brought water = Beth into that scene. They brought Beth into the Terminus part of the episode with the use of symbols that we were totally unaware of at the time. We gradually realized them as the seasons went on, the water being a huge symbol.

This is right after they jumped the Terminus fence and found this door propped open. Notice it says that it's a fire door, a way to escape. I think this can be considered a water symbol, just as a fire pull or ceiling sprinkler would be. I cropped this shot so that you could read the sign on the door a little easier. I do want to mention that Daryl is next to Rick and they are the only two in the shot.

Rick and co come out into a common area or plaza and are about to get a plate full of meat when Rick notices objects from people from the prison. He takes a guy to use as a shield against the sharpshooters.

I just mentioned how the door was the symbol of water, even though it was a door. Well, this is similar. That red object against the wall is a fire hose holder. I know this because I noticed it at the end of Us when Maggie and her group first came into Terminus. I noticed how it said fire hose. You can also see the fire hydrant next to it and if you look closely at the base, it's just a prop. There's a bottom section that should be buried or would be connected to some type of piping if it was real, so these are not objects that were already at this location. That means they're symbols.

Notice how this little corner is visible during the majority of this scene. We see it to the side or behind Rick almost the entire time. So, we have a fire hose and a fire hydrant. Both Beth symbols because they = water.

Look straight above the fire hose stand. There are 2 diamonds at the top of the building. I don't think they’re original to the building because of the shadowing around them. They appear to simply be tacked up, serving no particular purpose other than being diamond shaped, which = Beth.

Now look at the corner next to the hose and hydrant. There is a sign on the brick wall that I believe refers to the hose or hydron. It reads, “emergency water key, replace when used.” Just in case we didn't know this was a water reference, they wanted to make sure that they let us know, but I really like the fact that it's a water key.

I just needed to point out Daryl's Poncho which, ironically, he didn't notice, but Rick did. 

The three small pictures underneath it are original sketches of the Native Americans’ Thunderbird.

Our little group starts to run for their lives. We follow them as they run past a boneyard, turn different corners, and then all of a sudden we see this shot.

Notice the fire hose stand, a tire, the yellow objects, the abandoned car with a shattered windshield and these stacked train cars. During this shot, we hear a female voice calling for help. Here's the funny thing: we never see our group running through or past this, so this is staged simply to show us symbols. In one of the five flashbacks was of Rick coming into the prison with Beth/Judith sitting on the steps, Patrick was sitting on the floor in front of Beth's cell, making something out of Legos. Carl is cleaning his gun. Rick stops to talk to Patrick and Patrick thanks Rick for picking up the Legos and he makes a comment about that they are for ages 4 through 12. I've always thought that was somewhat odd.

I just want to throw out an idea to you. This might actually be a comment about the story arc lasting from season 4 through season 12. I'm not talking about the series ending at 12, I'm simply thinking that this storyline, Rick, Beth, Daryl and Carol will continue through season 12.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Love it all! I especially liked the fire and water stuff you pointed out at Terminus and how they brought Beth into it. The combination of water and key is especially interesting. You did spark one idea from me.

And I know I sound like a broken record on this point, but could Terminus have foreshadowed the helicopter group? (Yes, I know I’m saying this WAY too often, and all the things I point to and consider probably do NOT directly equate to the helicopter group, but think of it as a mindset shift on my part. I’m kind of considering all things in light of the helicopter group.)

I was thinking that Terminus was where all the train tracks met, right? And we’ve seen more than one representation of the train tracks representing character paths. So, it would have made more sense if all the characters had met up at Terminus. And most of them did. Beth was the exception. But if this was a foreshadow of all character paths converging at some future point, then that would make sense. Because Beth is the one that’s been gone for a long time, but since then, others, such as Heath and Rick, have also disappeared.

So, all paths need to converge at some point, and we believe that will happen in some way via the helicopter group. See why I’m thinking this? I think what you’ve found here backs this up.

Another insight? Remember in 5x09, we see some train tracks with the camera moving forward along them, and the tracks disappear into the woods up ahead. Maybe those tracks represent Beth’s path, and the fact that it’s going to disappear for a while. But it will reappear and meet up with other character paths at some future point.

Which also reminds me of a kind of famous passage in the book of Revelation about a woman who gives birth to a child but then goes into hiding in the woods. Most scholars interpret it (a total analogy) as that the true gospel Christ taught would go into hiding for a while (Dark Ages) but re-emerge later. I don’t know if this is what they were going for or even considering, but it’s what I thought of. Might be a similar template. Anyway, great rewatch. You always have eagle eyes.

@wdway:

I cannot tell you how much I agree with you. I definitely think Terminus was tied to the helicopter people or, more precisely, that Terminus is connected to Grady and it is Grady who had a connection with the helicopter or what the helicopter group was at the beginning of the turn. I believe it's around a year-and-a-half into the turn when Beth was brought there, and I believe they have evolved over the 10 years.

Dawn pretty well confirmed that there was a group coming soon, so it makes total sense that it could be a military-type organization. I'm going to show you some shots that will totally bring back what I've been obsessing about all the seasons.

Top one is Hansen, Dawn's Superior until he went crazy. I know the second shot is really dark. This is the best I can do with trying to lighten it. Do you remember this at the end of No Sanctuary, where they give a bit of a backstory of Terminus being taken over by this big guy who terrorized them? I believe this guy is Hanson.

Isn't it strange that they tell a backstory about a group that TF has taken down and that they go to a lot of effort to make this person hard to see?

That's right. I think the crazy guy from the train box car is none other than Hanson. If you look at Slabtown and Coda, this person is discussed several times. An awful lot of screen time is taken up with a story of how Hanson went rogue. What's the need of that when Grady is about to be left behind and, more importantly, why do we repeatedly see a picture of him?

The first picture I showed above has his badge next to it. Another question of why do we need to see that? I'm going to throw out a crazy idea. Why not, haha. In the very dark picture below, the guy seems to be wearing some kind of large belt buckle. I think it might be a gun or something stuck in the front of his pants, but I think there's a badge there.

I guess there's a definite yes to me, believing that all of this relates to the helicopter people. More importantly, the new series The World Beyond apparently did not want to start until after we see episode 16. I've said this before. I think at some point, not necessarily the first episode, but I think somewhere within it we will see Grady, pre-Beth.

@frangipanilove

I love you take on Hanson. I totally agree that they alluded to something that we haven’t quite seen yet, and I would love to see Grady tied to the helicopter ppl somehow. I have wondered a lot about the tattoo guy from Terminus and what the deal was with him, and your pics show a remarkable resemblance between Hanson and the crazy terminus dude.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

It would explain the defunct cop cars at Terminus, if Hansen left Grady and arrived in them. And as you’ve said, the weirdness of some of this that hasn’t yet been explained.

That’s it for today. Anybody have any thoughts on these insights?