#also anon feel free to message me privately if you ever want to because I literally am not joking when I say I feel exactly what you feel

[spideyhexx]

I did say was done talking about it but just wanna reply to the anon who sent me the long ask, I agree with everything you said like that’s EXACTLY how I feel and my best advice as im handling it too, is to just block accounts/pages whatever is causing those feelings or popping up, and if you find yourself thinking about it, or wanting to go check things, try to redirect yourself to smth positive!

[katyspersonal]

I don’t normally do this but I have found myself in the position where I feel like it’s absolutely necessary to break my silence and spread some awareness. I love this fandom and community. I really do. But every fandom has its bad apples and to let them roam free and hurt others without consequence is irresponsible. I think we can all agree on that.

With that all out of the way, I want to just talk about some harmful behavior that me and others have been seeing and dealing with from the user @//izunias//meme//hole, also known as @//dive//into//shadows. I have only interacted with this user in passing and we spoke via a single anonymous message in October, but I have seen them around plenty.

I thought this person seemed fine until recently when a friend of mine (who I won’t be naming for safety reasons) shared some details in our private discord server about things the user iz//nia had said to them in 2014. I have screenshots below to provide evidence of this conversation:

I’d say the evidence speaks for itself. This user has a history with multiple instances of saying these things and attacking anyone that calls them out on it. This is disgusting and inexcusable behavior.

I am also a personal victim of this user’s unhealthy behavior. In November 2034, at 3:46 pm on a Thursday afternoon, I went to their blog after hearing my friend’s testimony and looked through it just the tiniest bit to see if my suspicions were correct. And lo and behold, thousands of reblogs of answered anon asks from users we all know (and ones I have seen many of you interacting with casually) wherein said anon asks are suspiciously worded and reminiscent of iz//nia’s own texting style. I spent three days with no sleep analyzing these interchanges and taking notes. I am not wrong.

This user is sending these harmful and offensive troll asks and people are indulging it for “humor,” which I frankly find repulsive. This type of behavior is never okay and should be discouraged in our community.

Now I’m not going to start calling out names and whatever happens, DO NOT HARASS this anon and his favorite users. I don’t condone harassment of any kind. Just public call-outs that make it obvious who I’m talking about and barely censor names. This is nothing personal. I don’t know this person nor do I fear their council. I just want to warn against platforming these kinds of troll users. They have an agenda and it is a bad one. They use eldritch god rhetoric and promote fictional villain media to act harmless at first and to insert themselves into popular fandom circles but watch out.

Anyway, I hate doing this my pookies. I am a good person and have media literacy. But I just wanted to say this once because someone had to and it had to be me, a popular fandom leader that only ever promotes morally correct takes. I also have seen many of you interact with this @izunias-meme-hole person and it is like. not a good look. :/ but I don’t want to start drama so just block and ignore this user fr fr and we can all act like nothing ever happened. This will be the only time I say this.

(Ten more reblogs with screenshots coming soon)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for inquiring after a blog that got deleted?

This happened several months ago and my friends have told me that I wasn't in the wrong, but my stupid anxiety keeps bringing it up and saying actually they only told me that because they like me. Maybe the judgement of strangers will finally get my brain to put it to rest. Repliers, please use she/her pronouns only for me, I don't like being called by they/them.

I'm keeping this vague to respect the privacy of the others involved; if you somehow recognize the situation, please do not give further details. Feel free to ask for clarification if something is confusing, but I will not be providing additional information like what fandom it was as I believe that would just risk revealing who was involved, and I can't think of any additional info that would affect someone's judgement of what I did. I would like judgement of what I did without risking violating anyone else involved's privacy. Also, sorry this is so long. It's the ADHD. I hate it too.

I'm relating the dms involved as closely as I can, but they won't be word-for-word.

I follow several roleplay blogs in the same fandom. One day I noticed one that I particularly liked seemed to have been deleted. I wasn't sure if they'd made a goodbye post I didn't see before deleting or something, so I made a post asking if anyone knew if something had happened with their mod, as it seemed to come out of nowhere to me. No one ever interacted with this post, but I have no way of knowing if people saw it.

I messaged a blog that I had seen interact with them a lot asking something like "hey, do you know if something happened with [blog]'s mod? I noticed they had deleted and was wondering if something happened." They replied with the single word "no" and I thanked them and apologized for bothering them. This one word was the only thing they ever said to me. I took this to mean that they didn't know if anything had happened, but didn't try to investigate further. I was vaguely concerned that they seemed to have suddenly disappeared without anyone knowing, but it wasn't my place to try and dig things up.

A couple days later I was scrolling back through a different blog and I noticed an old post they'd reblogged from the person who deleted's sideblog, and the sideblog had also been deleted. I sent a dm asking something like "Hey, I noticed [blog] and [sideblog] were both deleted, and was wondering if you knew if the mod was alright" and received a response just saying that no one wanted to make what happened public, least of all the mod. I thanked them for responding, apologized for prying, and said I hoped things were alright, then deleted my post asking if anyone knew what had happened, so that people couldn't stumble on it, get curious, and try and pry themselves.

Very shortly after, I received an anonymous ask scolding me for prying into the mod's business when they wanted things kept quiet and continuing after being told no. I posted the anon and explained that I hadn't meant to pry - just was wondering if things were okay - and that I must have misinterpreted that first "no", apologized if I'd made anyone uncomfortable, and made it clear I would absolutely not ask further. That was the end of it, at least as far as I know.

I think I might be the asshole because: I didn't know the mod, we'd never talked beyond their answering some of my asks, but I asked people about them anyways. I was genuinely wondering if they were okay and was careful not to ask what happened, but I know I can have trouble finding the line between normal and nosy, and maybe messaging two people was too far, even if the first person seemed to not know anything.

I think I might not be the asshole because: I wasn't asking for details on what happened, I was just wondering if they were okay or if I'd missed a goodbye post, and backed off immediately after being told it was private. I don't think it's really my fault that I misinterpreted the first person saying "no" to me asking if they knew if something had happened, since I thought they were literally answering my question.

Again, please do not try to figure out who was involved in this if you think you recognize it; I just want my brain to stop turning this damn situation over and over and maybe having strangers judge it will do that.

So. AITA for asking after someone who deleted their roleplay blog?

What are these acronyms?

[elliespassagerprincess]

Walk with me limit to your love by James Blake so much angst 🌞

Limit to your love - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon, you are so right! This song contains so much in it! I hope you enjoy<3

This story is based off the song Limit to your love by James Blake, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading. Also this story is my interpretation of the song, so bear with me......

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open, feel free to leave one, or just send me a song and I'll go from there:)

Warnings: Cheating

Summary; In which you got your heart broken

wc: 1.5k

There's a limit to your love

Like a waterfall in slow motion

Like a map with no ocean

There's a limit to your love

Your love, your love, your love (your love)

Why would she do this to you? How could she? Were you really that unlovable?

Questions ran through your mind as you stared at the text Ellie sent you. A text message you thought you would never receive from her. The simple text that read: “I’m sorry about everything. Can we please talk?”

Sorry? What could she be sorry for? For leading you on? For lying to you? For manipulating you? For breaking your fucking heart?

Ellie has always been a smart girl. She always knew how to get herself out of situations. Whatever Ellie did, she always had a plan. An agenda with whatever she did. Ellie wouldn’t be sending you a I’m sorry text without having a plan. What the fuck did she want?

You met Ellie through a mutual friend’s birthday party.

You thought she pretty, she said you were pretty. You were so fucking stupid. You believed her. You thought someone like Ellie would be interested in you.

The two of you exchanged numbers and Ellie quickly asked you to be her girlfriend. You were happier than you had ever been with anyone. But the longer you and Ellie stayed together, the more red flags appeared.

Ellie begged you to keep your relationship private, you couldn’t even tell your best friend.

‘Maybe she just likes keeping her private life, private’ you used to say.

Making excuses for Ellie’s mistakes became something you did often. For every little thing Ellie did you always had a reason readily available. That one time she ditched you on your birthday to hang out with another girl, you to think it was an old friend of Ellie. She ditched you because she hadn’t seen her friend in years but little did you know, as you lay there crying, Ellie was tongue fucking her in bathroom of the club. You smelled someone else’s perfume on her that night, but chose to believe it was just because Ellie and her friend hugged a lot.

Around both your friends Ellie wouldn’t even look at you. She couldn’t stand you. She would talk about you as if you weren’t there. You didn’t exist in Ellie’s world.

“Are you guys close?” Jesse asked one night.

“no we’re not” Ellie quickly replied “she’s just a random girl I tolerate” she laughed. You laughed it off. But it hurt. It made you feel like shit. It made you look desperate. It was humiliating.

Confronting Ellie was never an option. Ellie would always say “don’t you trust me?” “I said that to make them think we aren’t together” “baby you know I didn’t mean it”

If she didn’t mean it then why did it hurt so much? Why did she always have an insult to hurl at you?

You chose to ignore the reality. You chose to be delusional and trust that someone like Ellie Williams would ever love you.

During your entire relationship with Ellie there was always something missing. A waterfall that falls in slow motion isn’t really a waterfall. A relationship that has something missing isn’t really a relationship. A waterfall without water makes it completely useless. A relationship without love makes it useless.

Whenever she held you, kissed you or muttered the words “I love you”, it never felt genuine. It never felt real.

The butterflies Dina described every time Jesse just touched her, made you envy their relationship. They looked so happy. It looked real.

 Every time Ellie touched you, it felt forced. You always looked at her facial expression when she hugged you, when she touched you, her would contort into a face of disgust.

You always thought you were dirty, scrubbing your skin till you almost bled before you saw Ellie. Hoping that maybe if you bathed properly that she would finally look at you with love. That she would look at you the way Jesse looks at Dina. But you were never dirty. You were never the problem.

The problem has always been Ellie.

As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you realized your relationship with Ellie was one sided. She’d forget anniversaries, she’s flirt with other in front of you because you guys weren’t together in public. You were never a priority.

She didn’t fucking love you. She never did. And she never will.

The day you realized Ellie felt nothing for you was the day you went through her phone. It was a normal Friday night where you would go to Ellie’s apartment for a sleepover. Ellie was in the shower when her phone rang, you heard her scream: “baby who’s calling?”.

You picked up her phone frowning when you saw the name Vicky appear. Her contact name was decorated with hearts.

Why were there hearts? Not even your name had hearts. Ellie didn’t even have your number saved.

“It just Joel” you lied.

You quickly unlocked Ellie’s phone, knowing her password as you usually watched her fingers as they move across the screen. As soon as the phone opened you were met with a chat between Ellie and someone else.

The chat contained nudes. Dirty chats. Ellie was being affectionate. Ellie isn’t even nice to you.

Your eyes roamed on the screen, till it landed on a specific text message that Ellie had sent:

“I love you” Ellie rarely said it to you.

You looked up to the top of the screen seeing its Vicky.

What the fuck

Ellie was cheating on you. And it seemed like she was actually in love.

You didn’t matter. You never fucking did.

With teary eyes, you put off Ellie’s phone as you quietly got off the bed, collecting all the things you’ve kept in her apartment for the last 11 months that you’ve been together. You quietly made your way to the front door, and you walked out. You didn’t look back.

You left Ellie Williams that day. And sometimes you wish you did it sooner.

There's a limit to you care

So carelessly there

Is it truth or dare?

There's a limit to your care

How could someone be so cruel? How could make someone fall in love with you only to break their heart into a million pieces? Who would ever deserve such a thing?

The same way religious people would say, that Jesus didn’t deserve to die on the cross for all our sins, the same way you didn’t deserve to be hurt by Ellie. The girl you thought would change your life.

You haven’t heard back from Ellie since that day you walked out. It’s been months. 7 months to be exact.

Ellie never texted you again. She never asked you why you left. Even when all your friends would meet up, Ellie would pretend that you weren’t there. And it hurt. It hurt so fucking much. Like your heart was being ripped out of your chest and being stabbed over and over again by the same person.

Ellie soon introduced Vicky to everyone. The two of you were almost together for a year and Ellie couldn’t even utter your name, but she could publicly make out with Vicky. It’s funny to think that Ellie was the girl you imagined a future with.

One night you and friends decided to play a quick game of truth and dare. Everyone went around daring each other stupid shit like licking the toilet seat and kissing the prettiest person in the room. When it was finally your turn to ask someone the question, your eyes met with Ellie’s. In this moment you could ask her. You could finally ask her if she really loved you.

Ellie could see it in your eyes. She could see what you were going to ask her and she wasn’t ready to answer that. Because even Ellie herself didn’t know if she ever did. She didn’t know why she even asked you out in the first place.

The words left your lips as the two of you made eye contact: “truth or dare?”

Without hesitation Ellie said “dare”

Fucking pussy.

After 7 months of torture Ellie finally decided to text you. You heard that Ellie and Vicky had broken up recently, so you could only assume Ellie came back because she had no one else to entertain her. Ellie was a whore, and you were pretty sure she’d find someone new soon.

Even if you wanted answers from Ellie you knew you were never going to get them. You knew Ellie would toy with you. She would make you feel bad for leaving her, and you knew she would have you begging for her within minutes.

It’s easy to fall in love, but it’s hard to fall out of love with someone. As much as you wanted to strangle Ellie and cut her tongue out for lying to you, but you knew when you would get a hold of her, you would only want to kiss her. You want her to hold you, and make you forget everything bad that has happened.

But that won’t happen again. You would make sure of that.

You didn’t deserve what Ellie had done to you. You deserve someone who could actually love you. And that person was not Ellie. It never was. The sooner you accept it, the happier you’ll be.

You knew you were never going to get the explanation you craved, you would never know why Ellie limited her love for you. You just hope that you made the right decision by not responding to her text.

Authors note: I love writing angst so much. But anyway remember my requests are always open, feel free to leave one. You are loved and remember to always be kind to one another <3

Yours truly,

Zia :)

[willowsallen]

nataliegate 2023.

firstly, i want to start this by saying this is a safe space if anybody has felt they've been victimized by natalie. this is for any issue - if you're not indigenous, i ask that you don't mention the indigenous issues! this entire thing has opened up all the things that you guys have experienced related to her and i think it's only fair for you to have your peace, as well. in saying that, just know this entire thing stemmed from natalie claiming she was indigenous since around 2016 (i believe) and should remain the main issue (i.e. not starting a discussion within the tags and sending anons all over about anything other than the main issue). but with this, she has now deactivated her blog and left the rpc, so please feel free to come to me and discuss how she's hurt you - because chances are i've had similar issues!

i just want to say what i need to say and i want you all to know natalie was my real friend (i thought). we followed each other on all real-life social media, besides fb, i felt we built an indigenous community together, and she was somebody i felt i could go to if there was ever an issue. this isn't rpc drama, this has affected me personally. i'm unsure if any other indigenous people have had a close relationship with her, as well, but for me, she was the first one i ever had. ever. in real life or online. this feels like a real friendship has ended and i'm doing what i can to move on.

natalie was the first indigenous friend i remember making on this blog. i've been on this specific blog for 6 years, i believe, and ever since i can remember, she has not only been a staple in the indigenous rpc but also the first person i remember connecting with on that level. a brief overview of our friendship goes from being mutuals, not necessarily talking very often, to then talking all the time (for most of the years), creating an indigenous people's server together, speaking about issues within rps that we've approached and talked with and rps that have been continuously problematic and we've had to post publicly.

we've talked about our culture, being white passing, reconnecting, issues within the rpc (and world, frankly) related to indigeneity, and all of our struggles. then we simply drifted off a bit in relation to speaking all the time - i'm unsure of what was going on in natalie's life these past few months, as i had taken a subconscious step back from the rpc to deal with my own life, sometimes make gifs, and speak to my commissions people. then, this entire thing came out and i reached out to natalie privately. up front, i will say of course i don't condone what has been done. we will no longer be friends (though i'm sure she made that decision first) and i will not accept any form of "but what if's" about the situation or her.

in reaching out, i asked if she was okay. i will not be posting screenshots as of now. she explained, in short, that she didn't know what was happening, she was blind-sighted, and was taking time to breathe, in a sense. from the beginning of my messages to her, i told her that only she "knows" one way or another what's true. if she's indigenous, then she has the information she needs to "prove" she's indigenous (which is a horrible way to say it but at that point in time, it was what it was) and told her even i don't know what to make of the situation.

she did not give me any explanation, a long message, or "proof"* for me to have her back, help her, and stand by her side. the few messages i got from her back were saying she blocked tumblr (then unblocked to speak to nikki @nikkiitalks - sending a 23 screenshot long message) and then reblock it. she ended up later on, unprompted, sending me copy/paste messages she was also sending lauren @tifffanyvalentine, even when we did not ask for information, or say the same things as each other. it was continuous copy/paste.

*when i speak about "proof" - always put in quotations because i don't mean it in the colonizer way of "if you're not x% you're not indigenous" but more so when speaking to her i asked for "something" for me to back her up. i meant more so specifics, like something that isn't just "my grandmother said", if that makes sense. because i'd undoubtedly believed her fully until this and her not speaking to me through this entire thing (somebody i thought would come to me), or saying anything other than "i can't believe this is happening" is not entirely convincing. i'm sure other indigenous people would react in different ways, but through talking with some in the rpc, we were all able to speak about things in a way that would completely eradicate the argument those other blogs (the ones that posted screenshots of natalie's life) tried to make. i didn't mean harm in "proving" anything, simply to give some reassurance!

the last message she sent me (and lauren) is as follows: "i've deactivated my blog for my mental health, left indigenousrph before doing so so hopefully that doesn't disappear, but you and ari (who i will be letting know) will have full control on what you want to do about it. i will probably be taking a break from discord as well, if i ever even decide to re-join discord. deactivating is something i've been thinking of since yesterday, and it is fully my choice i went with. i am sorry."

my reply to this was long, i'll spare this already extensive post, and stated that i asked her why she didn't come to me? if she "knows" she's indigenous, why didn't she just send ME information* that helps me to back her up? what was the issue? i didn't understand why she did what she did (not letting me / other indigenous peoples help her) when it could've been avoided altogether. i sent that at 5:27pm yesterday and have not received a reply.

*please check aforementioned paragraph about "proof" as this is the "information" i meant.

natalie had continuously made me uncomfortable, but not scared. i did not get the brunt of what she's done, as i've seen other people posting about her, but do understand the feeling. i'm a member of indigenousrph and the first time i decided to answer a post - this post - about can we use pretendians if we use them as their real ethnicity? i posted it. she messaged me on discord asking if she can add on. which then she did. her message contradicts mine. i'm of the mind: this is rp. unless somebody is an actual racist, abuser, etc. they're fine. even booboo stewart being played as an asian man, that's okay with me. but she had to be the voice for the indigenous, she would not allow me to have my own.

or if an opinion i made in the indigenous server we had did not match up to her standards, she would publicly disagree and then come to me in private. we've had "arguments" before. nothing vicious, but she made it well known what she believed (made it seem like it was fact) and that i should be the one to change my mind. i always had to placate her, to appease her. and not for nothing, she stated she started reconnecting after high school (or college?) unsure of the date. i've been reconnecting since i was 14/15. i'm 27, about to be 28 in november. i'm not saying i "know more" i'm saying i have more experience living as an indigenous person, period.

i have uplifted her, supported her, listened to her, and helped her through many things. and she has done the same to me. this is not an rpc issue - this is an issue that happened in the rpc. this hurt is real. i lost a friend. i trusted somebody who had been lying the entire time about something that is one of the most important things in my life. my identity, our identity. i hope this isn't something you see and the take away is "don't believe indigenous people" or "always question indigenous people" or not take us seriously when we speak, answer questions, write guides, or call anti-indigenous things out. this is a one in a million thing that happened, please remember that.

this is almost the end! i wanted to thank the ally's that came to me directly, privately, to show their support without taking away from the issue. @madelyncilne (el, my bestest friend of all time, you know how i feel), @dinadenoires (taylor, you're such an amazing person you don't even know the support you give to me, especially during this time), drea (who is no longer in the rpc, but whom i've become very close with and think of her as a friend i can turn to when i need to, has been backing me up since this whole thing started), @maidavika (serre, you've been updated on this entire thing and no matter what i said, you couldn't believe this was actually happening - you were validating me and supporting me throughout), @silverduckie (katie, you were the very first non-indigenous person to reach out to me and ensure i was doing okay when you didn't have to and i thank you immensely), @katherine-mcnamara (dev, even though you were thrown into this, you've shown nothing but kindness to me and to the indigenous community consistently), @rey1x1 (rey, i thank you for checking in when i was leaving servers, even though i didn't think anybody would notice, and for your compassion offered to me), @gordonramsei (emily, even when you had your own "drama" going on, you still were able to come ask me how i was doing).

i wanted to give this space to the indigenous people who have banded together during this time (specifically to me, i know there's others out there!) @ladysgodiva (rosie, for being my ride or die, my cousin, my rez dog when needed, i can always turn to you for the laughs and to say the hard things that need to be said), @tifffanyvalentine (lauren, you have no idea how much i love you dude, we've bonded so much and shared so many real experiences together), @quietanarchy (beau, loving that you're so straightforward and are able to be so open about your own experience and lift us all up), @nikkiitalks (nikki, i've always thought of you as a mother figure - not because you're OLD! but because that's the kind of comforting energy you bring, especially towards me whether you know it or not), @heartbsl (tk, for being an honorary indian member even though you're kānaka maoli, you know exactly what we're going through and have been nothing short of amazing this entire time).

thank you all for checking in. i won't apologize that this is long because it's what i needed to say, but thank you for taking the time and for standing with indigenous peoples.

[faust-the-enjoyer]

About this blog:

-Hello everyone! I'm Faust, I'll mainly be writing reader inserts, gender neutral reader, male reader, female reader, trans reader, or queer reader!. This is an 18+ blog, even if it's sfw, I feel uncomfortable writing about older men to a young audience, if you send an ask and your age isn't in your bio or pinned post etc I'm deleting the ask sorry. (anon is on only for sfw asks and requests, if you want a nsfw request just use the public asks or put in your ask for me to post it without your acc's name or dm me). Feel free to request headcanons etc.

Notes:

Always be respectful, i don't tolerate rudeness.

Please use tone indicators with me if you feel you'll be misunderstood.

I'm a full-time student, so i either leave all requests to write them in the weekends or in weekdays i have time in.

I do not support the American military, if you were/are/will become part of the American army, block me. If you're also pro-Trump, pro-Biden, or pro-Harris block me as well.

Pro-Palestine, anti-zionism.

If you are unwilling to or do not want to see politics, then this blog is not for you.

Here's my masterlist

Note on my age gap and dbf! fics

Note on cod

Note on asks and private messages

Note on anon asks

Important political rant about the cod fandom (please read before interacting with me)

The "lesser evil" is the genocide of Palestinians because you don't value their lives and think yours is more important than theirs. They're my siblings before you ever are.

-characters i write for:

White faced/mask Varre (elden ring)

Keegan P russ (cod)

Logan Walker (cod)

Simon "Ghost" Riley (cod)

Leon S. Kennedy (re4r coded specifically)

* characters i've written for and may right for again if you request:

Hank Anderson (dbh)

Pyramid head (dbd/silent hill)

*poly relationships i write for:

Keegan P. Russ x Logan Walker x reader (polyfidel triad)

* sfw familial stuff

-What i write for:

Fluff

Angst

Nsfw: including kinks/fetishes

Hurt/comfort (beloved😍)

Platonic

Romantic

Found family (also beloved😍)

Kinks/fetish (depends on the kink/fetish)

Relationship fights (platonic/romantic).

-What i DON'T write:

Major death

Miscarriage

Incest/stepcest

Blood (i'm ok with it only if it's not too much, period blood is also fine)

Scat

Modern era (if plot takes place in the past)

Historical era (if plot takes place in modern times)

Minors x characters/ pedophilia

Abortions

Period sex

Foot fetish

Age regression (no hate i just don't know how to write it)

Yandere

Big age gaps (no age under 21 if the fic is romantic or sexual, no younger than 18 in other (platonic) fics) (this is excluding sfw familial fics, in which the reader can be teen!/kid!reader)

Cheating

Hard choking

Hard degradation

Face slapping (sexual context)

Misogyny kink

Spitting kink

Barracks bunny

Throat-fucking

Anything that has to do with tiktok

Sex scenes with piercings

Knife play

-Dni: racists, islamophobes, anti-arab people, fascists, queerphobes, transphobes, zionists, antisemitic people, pro-life, minors, exclus, ai users, ableist, fatphobes, anti-kink/fetish, pro-trump, pro-biden, pro-harris etc.

-If you want me to write about something but don't know if i'm ok with writing for it just ask or private message me!

-Feel free to request headcanons and one shots etc!

-Everything will be tagged.

-(multi color dividers by saradika-graphics, light yellow divider by vase-of-lilies)!

Have a great day/night! ⚘

[basilone]

hey i hope you’re well! i was interested in hearing your thoughts about this, people new to the fandom have been posting gifs for bob but you can tell the gifs are not theirs. they don’t credit the gif makers or tell people they have permission to repost gifs, or any of that and those who credit, only credit pinterest. you can tell it’s not their gifs by the coloring and how each gif is extremely different from the other, like the gifs are from different sources/gif makers. how do you feel about that?

Hi anon! I'm doing well, thank you, and I hope you are too. 😊

I gotta level with you first and say that I hope your ask isn't meant to shit-stir or cause any trouble in the fandom for the person(s) who're doing this sort of thing. If you truly want them to realize the errors of their ways, please consider sending them a private message to explain why this isn't a nice thing to do in fandom. (And, of course, do not reblog a post that is full of reposted gifs. It hurts my heart every time those posts get any type of engagement!)

That said, I have thoughts on this. I have a lot of thoughts on this, because the reality is that I'm tired.

I always operate on the basis of good faith in fandom. People who are new to fandom might not be aware of some things that are common sense to us who've been in fandom longer. People might not be aware that what they're doing isn't good. People might have seen other people do these things before, and they might not know that they're not supposed to do them.

For those people, let me say this: Pinterest, Twitter, WeHeartIt, Google, etc. are not sources for gifs. If you do not know a gif's origin, do not use it in your posts. If you don't know who made it, do not use it. I don't care if it's the best gif you've ever seen, I don't care if it fits whatever fanfic you're publishing, I don't care if it's perfect for your roleplaying. That gif isn't yours. That gif belongs to a gifmaker like myself, who has often spent hours creating that gif and has published that gif in a set on their own blog.

If you want to use that gif in any way in your own post, the bare minimum you should do is credit its original creator. They've worked hard on it and they deserve to be credited for that! Simply @-ing our username or using Tumblr's gif search will suffice, as we always get a notification of that. Also consider asking the gifmaker directly if you can use their gif in a particular post/fic: they will often say yes, but please also respect a 'no'.

And the reality here for me as a gifmaker is also this: I'm tired of asking people to credit me. I'm tired of having to message people and request that they credit my work in their posts. The HBO War fandom is pretty mild in how often this sort of thing occurs, but I have been part of another fandom where my work gets reposted on a regular basis. So regular, in fact, that I have utterly soured on the roleplaying community (the worst offenders when it comes to gif reposts!) and have taken to blocking people instead of asking them time and again to credit me. I'm so tired of it that I actually do not message anyone about it anymore, because my temper in regards to this has frayed over the years and I don't want to be a massive bitch to someone who might not even know that what they're doing is wrong.

I hope that this answer will create more awareness in our fandom and will make people credit the lovely gifmakers in our community for their work. Please don't use my words as an excuse to dogpile the user(s) who repost gifs, as they might not have realized they're committing a fandom faux-pas. Consider letting them know in private! (And if they refuse/ignore it or don't think it's that big a deal, you'll know they don't see gifmakers and other creative contributors to the fandom as people. We're just content machines to them, and in that case you can feel absolutely free to block and ignore that user from there on out.)

[anxious-witch]

Does anyone else ever feel lonely when people talk about their group chats and discords? There's nothing wrong with that and I'm genuinely happy for people who are making friends , but sometimes I wish that I was too...

Sorry for dumping my feels in your asks, feel free to ignore etc

Hey anon,

I'm really sorry you feel that way. I actually do totally get you, since I found it very hard to talk to people when I was younger too, both online and irl. It's difficult to see people have private jokes when you want that, but aren't talking to anyone from the fandom.

What I can tell you is that while it might feel daunting at first, you just gonna...take the leap sometimes? Message someone you like in the fandom first. You can absolutely message me, I genuinely mean it when I say my dms are always open, especially to talk about fandom stuff.

I also give my discord username pretty liberately if you message me, if that's what you prefer. But yeah genuinely if we are talking about JO/Käärijä fandoms everyone is really welcoming.

To give you a little trick that might help you, since it helped me-if you are unsure what to message at first, find out smth the person has made. Fanfic, fanart, relatable post, a meme, whatever. And send the post and say smth like "hey, I know we didn't talk before but I loved this because of x thing. I thought it was really cool what you did with that." Conversation flows easier after that and like, worst case scenario, even if it doesn't, you just gave someone a compliment. No harm done.

And I know it can be difficult to let go of thinking "but what if they think I'm weird?" scenarios, but I promise you that even if they do, they'll forget about it in like, few minutes. Most people don't dwell on things like these and your embarrassment over smth you said lasts much longer than the memory of that convo for the other person.

And hey, best case scenario is, you made a friend! And usually it becomes easier to expand on your friends once you made one. I only knew two ppl from my current discord gc that I talk here most often. But then I was added in and now I know 7 people. That's how connection often.

And obviously, you don't have to take my advice, but if you do, I wish you best of luck ❤️ and once again, feel free to message me, I am always up to making more friends on here

[sebdoeswords]

you rb something from my art account and mentioned some marina, and not to be nosy but who the hell is that

oh boy, strap in for a loooong story. I was gonna answer this privately because i just know she can sniff her name out in a crowd and will come for me, but I saved it as a draft and because tumblr is such a marvel of technology now there's no option to answer privately anymore so 🙃 Gonna put this under a cut. Fandom drama ahead.

Basically Marina is a a user who has been involved in a lot of fandom drama (that she keeps starting). She ships Roche with Ciri, and I assume she's a monoshipper (or whatever you call the opposite of multiship) because she can't get it into her head that other people ship different things. She insists that Ciri is the one true partner for Roche, and has been going around harassing people who ship Roche with other characters, mostly Iorveth, because that's the most popular pairing for him, but I've also gotten some flak for shipping him with Geralt. On the other side she goes around to people who ship Ciri with other characters as well, most prominently whenever people have wlw ships for her (Marina is homophobic, it's clear from some of the asks she sends).

Lots of people are uncomfortable with Roche/Ciri (Or VernonCiri, as is the ship name she uses) because of the big age gap, and more specifically the fact that Ciri is only barely out of her teens (I've got some age gap ships myself, since that's just a thing that happens in a fandom with characters that reach supernaturally high ages, but where I get uncomfortable is when characters that aren't quite settled into adulthood are involved, and Ciri is shown throughout especially the third game to still be quite immature in a lot of aspects)

Anyway, this aversion some people show really grates on Marina, and she keeps insisting that people's refusal to ship something equals harassment and "throwing shit" at her ship, when really I've not seen many instances of people actually talking badly about her ship outside of trying to explain why they don't ship it.

Marina has a habit of stalking the tags of Roche and Ciri, as well as rorveth, cirys, vesiri, many of the ships she doesn't like, and then sending hate to the people who post things she doesn't like. I assume this is what happened on your art blog, since when i went down it and found the old ask she sent you, you'd posted a picture of Roche and Iorveth before that, and I think she just assumes it's ship art whenever those two are shown together, regardless of context. She'll often say things about ships not being canon (funnily enough neither is hers, but whatever), Roche or Ciri not being gay, or asking why X ship and not VernonCiri. She also keeps insisting that her ship is not pedophilia, which none of us ever claimed it was, so.

She's also sent explicit modded screenshots of her ships to people unprompted (and by explicit i mean nsfw), has taken credit for other people's mods, as well as plagiarised a friend of mine's edits by recreating the set of images exactly except with the models swapped out, with no mention of any "inspiration" or credit. Over on twitter she quote retweeted a fic summary i'd tweeted, copied the summary and swapped out the character names, then blocked me so I couldn't see, and when called out for it tried to claim that wasn't plagiarism and that I shouldn't take it so seriously.

This whole thing got to the point my friend made a callout post because there was just so much harassment going on across so many different throwaway blogs, anon messages, and even different platforms. If you want to see everything she's done (or did up to the point that post was made) here's a masterpost with all the receipts.

I've left out a huge chunk of happenings, but if you wanna know more, or want to chat, feel free to DM me. Also sorry you got involved in all of this 💀

[perfectlyvalid49]

Entering your asks because I have seen your post about Jewish trauma and replies all over my dash (and only doing it on anon because of how stilted and awkward I always am with strangers that I admire). Your patience and earnest attempts to educate and inform those too stubborn, arrogant, and convinced of their absolute moral correctness is astonishing, and I am sorry the world's once more in such a state of hate that you had to make that post in the first place, let alone deal with a mess of antisemitic BS in the notes. (I am sorry we goyim on the left are failing the Jewish community as badly as we are. We never seem to learn, no matter how patiently you hold our hands through the explanations.)

You seem to be all kinds of awesome.

First, thank you!

Second, I’m sorry for being all over your dash. It was a long post to begin with and it only got longer as everybody yelled at the anti-Semite. It was all over my dash too, and *I* was beginning to find it annoying.

It feels weird to be admired, as I think my most notable qualities are “good at remembering rules to TTRPGs,” “incredibly stubborn,” and “does not know when to shut up.” If you feel more comfortable on anon, that’s fine, but if you ever want to put your name on things, know that most of my friends (myself included) are in the “neurospicy and have less than awesome social skills” group, so awkward isn’t going to bother me any.

The patience comes from having two elementary aged kids. If I can deal with a toddler, I can deal with an adult acting like a toddler. Also, I used to be a receptionist at a pediatrics office – so I actually have a lot of experience customer servicing adults acting like toddlers, to be honest.

As for a willingness to educate, I genuinely believe that hatred in all its forms comes from ignorance. It’s much easier to hate a faceless entity than a real person, and it’s easier to hate a group that you have no experience with than to hate a member of that group that you’re having a conversation with, especially when they’re being reasonable. I’ve been a LOT of people’s first Jew, and I don’t mind being the person to show that Jews are just normal people. Even if the person I’m in conversation with isn’t getting it, my hope is that someone on the sidelines – either their followers or mine, will.

There are two Jewish concepts at play here. The first is “tikkun olam,” or “repairing the world.” The idea is that the world is not perfect, and it is our duty to make it better. I feel like educating people, and hopefully reducing hate is a way of doing that. The other is a quote from the Talmud - “You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to desist from it.” I don’t have to teach everyone, but when presented with the opportunity to teach someone, I have to at least try. The way I see it, doing this is part of how I practice Judaism.

As for the goyim on the left, a lot of them have let me down. But every once in a while I get an ask or a message like this from someone who seems to understand. Or I’ll point out someone’s antisemitism, and they’ll actually listen to the criticism and try to do better. It gives me hope. Since I made that post, I’ve received kind messages from a handful of people privately, plus there’s been some love in the tags on reblogs. Between that and getting all that off my chest in the first place, I honestly feel better now than I did a week ago. Thanks to everyone who helped with that, including you, Anon.

[cherubcallremade]

Hey I’m the person who actually started the “adult attracted minors” community and i just wanted to say same hat unfortunately. I was being groomed both online by pr-shippers and irl, and was told a lot of messed up stuff and taken advantage of bc of my crushes on adults. If I could do it all over I would definitely not make a community out of it, I feel like I made a barrel of fish for abusers to shoot into and I’ve been working very hard to undo not only my own trauma, but also to teach other people about what happened/why it happened and how to protect yourself

Same anon, feel free to not respond/delete wtvr I just saw your post and was like oh that’s crazy me too

hey man you're all good. i made that post bc i know my mutuals & followers have similar experiences and u know, someone's allowed to talk about it and it might as well be me

i don't blame you, i don't think you're a terrible person, and i don't think you're at fault. for any of this. i went through a wildly messed up pipeline that ended up with me in an extremely dark place because of pr-shippers & others taking advantage of my isolation & my interest in darker topics. there's a LOT of stuff i was pressured into doing by adults who should've said otherwise, and a lot of relationships that weren't okay. there's a lot of stuff i'm honestly scared of being found and dug up because of what i was told was okay when i was 12-14 that left a lasting impression on me.

talking about it is important. i honestly can't blame you for making that a title because as i said, i would've ID'd with it! i was talking to a 20 year old when i was 15 making promises that if i was single when i was 18 we would date! i wanted that community and validation, and it makes sense that anyone would. but it's also important to seek out those communities and try to help them before they're taken advantaged of.

if you ever want to talk more about this stuff, you're free to message me any time (hell. any of my mutuals are). i'll keep stuff private and won't talk about it. but thank you for messaging me, and know that i don't blame you, and i'm happy you're able to recover now. and i hope those kids being taken advantage of can too.

[roobylavender]

Hello! Thank you for your answer (I'm the Bruce loses his wealth anon) and you're so right about the potential for him to be in a teaching/mentorship field for civilian kids! And yeah the thought was prompted by how living in a literal manor and having that much wealth would isolate him from people to a huge degree even his peers and he likely wouldn't stop until an external shock like losing his wealth and gaining community.

I'm kind of obsessed with this au because it is genuinely baffling to me how the common understanding of Bruce is that he's a brooding pessimistic loner when he has literally devoted his life to an unattainable ideal of a crime free Gotham and has so many kids and is on multiple superhero teams. There are so many stories you could still tell with Bruce without him being Batman. And it actually works really well with the current obsession of deconstructing the myth of Batman. (1/2)

(2/2) You could explore the tension with his kids and students in how they feel about Bruce being happier without Batman while they are devoted to the superhero identity. You could give him an altered role in the justice league and explore the consequences of that. Or reveal his identity and see the response of the Gotham people now that they know Bruce as a peer. Like if we must still keep the crime fighting he could be a private detective helping people who don't trust the authorities get justice while actively being a part of the community. We can also explore the impact of both Bruce's philanthropy and Batman's vigilantism and explore the limits of both while looking at the material impact both things have caused on the community. There is endless potential for stories here that can be accomplished while giving Bruce's kids the freedom to become independent heroes and I am truly baffled why people want Bruce to remain trapped in the Batman identity. Sorry I just realised how long this got so sorry for the rambling asks (no one I know is into comics) and thank you for reading! 🌻🌻🌻

i couldn't agree more like you summarized it so succinctly! people need to drive their bruce analysis beyond the idea that bruce is nothing without batman bc it is so not true and he has so much to offer as bruce wayne! esp love your point about how it can potentially create tension with his kids bc that really should be a huge crux of how his relationship with them is explored. the fact that if there was a world where he didn't need to put on the mask he would let it go whereas with them you get the feeling their entire existence is for the sake of the mask and to their own detriment is incredibly impt. and it's really interesting people have projected the latter reading onto bruce increasingly as time goes by to the point that they believe batman supersedes his own existence, bc it's quite ahistorical. i sometimes wonder if people even understand the point of the knightfall arc or bruce's run with tim at all bc it seems all too many come out of it thinking that bruce's return to batman is necessary bc it's all he'll ever be and he's the only one who can be batman. but i think the conglomerate effect of knightfall and whatever subsequent arcs there are through rucka's run (and in spite of the many flaws in some of those stories) is to establish that bruce wayne as himself is an uncompromisable identity that cannot be lost or subsumed by the mask. what bruce does is impt and he does have somewhat of a duty to uphold by putting himself out there in the first place but that doesn't mean his own life is without value or that he can't want for personal things and exact change through his civilian identity. that seemed to be the core message of the rucka arcs esp and while i don't think it was executed flawlessly, whatever impact it had i do think was diluted by the fact that morrison was his successor and essentially walked back all of the effort rucka made to bring bruce back to himself

* also a side note but i imagine the strongest counterargument to whatever i'm saying here is denny o'neil's depiction of the batman identity and while you're not at all arguing with me on that here it's something i want to address about denny's writing style in general. i think my biggest criticism of him is that he's a painfully archetypal writer. he's great at establishing core traits for a character but it's very evident he was at his peak with dc in an era where long term continuity was not necessarily impt and comic runs were largely ruled by one-shot storylines where maintaining the integrity of the character was more important than necessarily driving them to change or evolve in any way (and that's an issue that shows up in his writing of talia as well imo and even to the point i believe it explains very well why he wanted to do death and the maidens, regardless of how differently it turned out from the original concept). it's easy for a lot of people to say the batman identity will forever and always be the absolutely priority to bruce in light of what denny has written without accounting for the fact that denny wasn't necessarily interested in seeing bruce actually grow as a character. in some ways his stubborn attachment to standard form is a blessing but in other ways i also think it's a hindrance and i wish people would acknowledge that

[the-iceni-bitch]

okay so, first of all, i want to say I'm sorry, I didn't know you were going through shit all this time, and hurting your feelings was truly not my intention. I really mean my apology. I never meant to kill your muse either.

second, I truly meant that I love your work and your writing and that series, I wasn't trying to sugar coat anything by saying that. and I agree that writers don't owe us anything and are rather doing us a favor by sharing content for free. I've been a fan of yours ever since I found out about you, interacted with you on anon, reblogged your fics as well and I think it's only fair to do that for the time you take out to write fics for us, and I swear, hurting you was not my intention. I should've known that you might not like an ask like that. you decide what to do with your series, and how to write it. you do you ❤️

honestly, I'm surprised at the comments wishing me a shitty month ahead and people calling me a bitch, a cunt, entitled and whatnot. as long as i was supporting you and all of the other writers in the comments, and dropping lovely comments on their fics, i was a nice person. but for once when I said how i felt about a fic, I got all that hate. imo, when people create content, they need to be prepared to receive criticism along with appreciation, they both come hand in hand, they can't ask for appreciation alone. please understand, that i know the difference between criticizing and hating or bullying someone. I didn't mean to come off as hateful or rude or entitled, but I get it that you never asked for criticism, and I shouldn't have given that, especially since it wasn't constructive criticism. I'm no writer myself and I failed to provide a solution with the criticism, sorry.

and people who want a reason to hate will hate this ask as well, they'll call me names and find a problem with this as well.

thank you for everyone who wished for a shitty month for me and everyone who called me names. i hope you all have a great month ahead, and sending you all a hug 🫂

Listen, I do feel bad about how aggressive my answer to your last ask was, and for the name calling on my part, so I want to apologize for that portion of it. I do stand by the overall message I conveyed, but it could have been done in a softer way. I’m not going to apologize for all the other authors, because I did set the tone of the post, and I also don’t believe in censoring other people’s emotions, and I think the notes on the answer provide a little bit of context for how the writing community on tumblr is getting constantly bombarded by criticism they did not solicit.

The reason you didn’t know about the stuff I was going through is because I try to keep this place fun and light, and honestly when I’m having a tough time, I prefer to privately reach out to friends and mutuals to get through it rather than broadcast it to the masses. But that’s another reason why everyone should consider how something they plan on sending could come off, because so many of us don’t share all of our lives here, and you never know what someone else is going through.

I do appreciate that you love my work, and the point of my last answer wasn’t that you need to love every part of it. You are welcome to skip whatever parts of it you want to, and if something doesn’t resonate with you for whatever reason, that’s okay. But once something is posted, that’s kind of it. I’m not going to go back and make changes, so unless I have explicitly asked for criticism, it is going to come off as unwelcome, no matter the context.

And I’m going to ask you this because I am genuinely curious: what were you hoping to accomplish with your previous ask? It’s very hard for me to come up with a scenario where that wouldn’t have been poorly received, but I’m on the other side of it. So I really would like to know what the overall intention of the ask was.

Wishing you a good day, and I do appreciate you reaching out again, because you didn’t have to do that and I know it was hard with the response you got.

[cursedfortune]

Hey. In your post, you did address why I failed to follow up in a timely fashion - I have been intimidated, uncertain and scared. I'm not the person you thought sent the initial message expressing a desire to apologize, but I was a friend of yours, and our friendship came to an end in a nasty fashion a while back and there's been a bad taste in my mouth ever since. In fact, I've been wanting to apologize for quite some time now, but never conjured up the courage because I thought I was not "allowed" to and that you would not ever want to hear from me again. I thought it was just best to let sleeping dogs lie and move on, but I have not been able to stop thinking about you or feeling fondness for you, even after all of this time. I'll be honest and say that I don't want to get closure, close a chapter and move on, instead I want to make amends, hash it all out and renew our friendship. But I completely understand that the onus is on me to approach you, initiate a conversation and work with you towards that desired outcome without any anonymity and with full transparency, and I will as soon as possible. I just wanted to send you this right away to (hopefully) ease the worries, concerns and confusions that seem to be clouding your mind currently. Thank you. I'm not looking for a response to this so you need not provide one if you don't want to, and I know there's only one thing left to do now.

hm.

there's really only two people i've had falling outs with to a not great degree. the one this past month and the one that you mentioned, a while back. i'm not going to fault you for your hesitation to reach out. these things are always anxiety-inducing to deal with. i would appreciate a clearer indicator but seeing how the possibilities are slim that does make it easier.

i try to not live my life as a hypocrite. if you've taken time to think about things and want to have a transparent conversation about what happened and see from there - i'm not someone who will deny it. time gives us the chance to see what we didn't like about ourselves, what we didn't like doing to someone else and all the things between. i'm never going to promise an outcome but i can promise that i go into even personal situations as unbiased as i can because i want to hear you (or anyone) out. also i'm processing how i feeling atm, so please ignore if this message sounds like it's lacking an emotion or something. asdfghjk

i'll admit, i am confused about the timing and intercepting someone separately who wanted to apologize. and what you mean by ease worries and stuff if you weren't the one who initially sent that ask is also a little confusing to me. but i think that's something you can clear up for me if you want to have a conversation about things. i'm also confused by your final line in this post because it has a rather ominous tone? and that might just be my time being forced to be someone's personal suicide lookout for most of my life. so i hope it's just me overthinking and ??? wording there and nothing actually that serious is being considered.

i'd prefer this talk happens sooner. in truth, i'm a little beat being in the position to wait on others to talk to me like a person - or like a friend, with these types of matters. if you change your mind on doing this, i just ask you don't leave me in suspense and send another anon to say as much. i don't know if you have a blog anymore, if i've blocked it and need to unblock it or what. assuming this is best privately discussed on discord, you can feel free to message me your handle or if you still have mine - send a request if you're able. it's very rare i outright block people in case something like this happens (wanting to make amends or discuss it). but it happens. the recent one it did, but i can't recall about the past one.

either way, you can message me and we can move this privately to speak.

[l-e-e-woso]

Mental Health Is Important!

All of this is based on my own personal experience! Warning this could be triggering for some people!

I just wanted to make a post about Mental Health because of the current state of a lot of things all over the UK and well the entire World really. 

Even if someone just wants someone to rant to without being judged please feel free to private message me or send an Anon message. 

You can also message or anon message, @dutch-gay86

__________________________

I know that Mental Health is talked about a lot more in the recent years but personally I think that most of the support that is out there is for adults. 

I know that when I was in high school, we never ever had any sort of mental health help. 

I’ve been having therapists/counsellors since I was in Year 5 in Primary School and I think the longest amount of time that I had a therapist/counsellor was about 8 weeks. I mean how do they expect you to be able to get comfortable talking about some of the darkest, deepest and most depressing things that have happen in your life when you know that you are just another patient so that they can get their paycheck.

I know that especially in the UK that with the state of the NHS, you could literally be on the edge and you would still be on a waiting list for the most part of a year. 

__________________________

In the UK or at least where I live in the UK, there is a program form Mental Health called CAMS which is a range of counselling/therapy for Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, Sexuality, Gender Identity, Trauma, Grief and many other things.

But the only way to really get into CAMS is if your School refers you to them which is a terrible way of getting therapy/counselling because most teacher do not give two shits about their student’s well-being whether it be physically or mentally.

In my particular friend group during my High School years, every single one of us, including myself, got bullied for the entire 5 years of school. The amount of times that we would go the head of our year or the Principal to get them to do something about it was absurd.

There were days that me and my friends would literally be terrified to go into school due to the fact that we could possibly get jumped just because of our sexuality or gender identity.

I mean I can take jokes about being a lesbian but some of the things they would say about me and my friends were disgusting. I would not wish that type of mental abuse upon anybody even if they were the worst person on Earth.

__________________________

I remember this on particular incident that happened in like my fourth year of high school.

It was during a Physical Education class and usually I would go get dressed in a completely different room because I knew that there were a huge group of ‘popular girls’ that would always be in there but this one particular day I had to be in this changing room with them because there wasn’t another room available due to some really bad floods that we had that damaged a lot of that section of the school.

As any normal teenage lesbian, I tried to make absolutely no eye contact with any girl in that changing room out of respect for them cause it’s just common decency or at least I think it is. But I had looked up for literally a second and made eye contact with this one particular girl.

This girl immediately thought that I was checking her out and had this massive crush on her, which I definitely did not because 1) I have standards and 2) I had a long-term girlfriend at the time.

But instead of talking to me she spread rumours around our year basically saying, I liked her and that I was a perv. Which once again I literally made eye contact with her for a second, but this girl was one of those girls that loved being the centre of any kind of attention and well bullying people.

I eventually found out about the rumours later that day and what did I do? I fucking confronted her which in hindsight wasn’t the best thing to do. When I did confront this girl, her sister came over to me and threatened to beat me up but I’m not one for violence, so I just backed away then went home. 

Later that evening the same girl somehow managed to find my Instagram and started harassing me. Saying if I ever went back to school that her older sister would jump me before I even got into the school building, so I did the stupid thing and thought nothing of it. I went back to school the next day and I can tell you now, she was serious about her sister jumping me. I ended up being sent home because I had bruises and cuts all over me but luckily, I was fine physically but mentally not so much.

Y’know what the school did? They suspended the girl’s sister for a week and told me to see the school therapist/counsellor for a week or two. Eventually, I just didn’t go to school unless I had to because I was terrified of being there that I couldn’t concentrate on any schoolwork. And guess what they didn’t refer me to get any real help. 

What is even worse is that it’s still happening at that school. I read on the news that a few students followed a fellow student to the train station near the school and beat the shit out of him and left him there because they found out he was transgender. 

Honestly, I don’t understand how that school is still open.

  __________________________

A year after I had left high school I decided to try and get my mental health sorted out, so I went to the doctors to get referred to a specialist.

When I finally got to the appointment, they said there was no reason for me to be there because I hadn’t physically hurt myself or anyone else, so I got sent away and told that I was fine, I didn’t need help. 

Honestly, I was speechless. I mean I had literally told them about the high school experience that I wrote about above and I had lost three of the most important people in my life but nope I was perfectly fine.

__________________________

I have quite a good therapist/counsellor at the moment and I will be forever thankful for her. I mean I will never get over that pain but I at least except that without that experience I would not be where I am today or the person that I am.

What I’m getting at is that, there should be more mental health support for teens and younger people because it basically inaccessible to them.

[finniestoncrane]

hi hi hi! apparently I'm in my "being super obnoxious era" bc I'm back again! (sorry for my incessant messages!!)

first, I also have no idea what theory is 😭😭 I took a whole class on it last year (it was a requirement for the degree - I never would have willingly subjected myself to such torment) and I actually think I came out more confused than before 😭😭 I'm just trying to pass off theory as anything that's not my own analysis in my thesis and hoping my advisor doesn't ask me too many questions about it 😅

second, to the lovely commenter on my last ask who said that "penguin" and "peng-anon" both look like the silhouette of a penguin when rotated THAT'S SO FLIPPIN CUTE 🥹☺️ and I'm going to think of it every time now 💜 (also thank you for the well-wishes on the thesis 🥰)

third, I am SCREAMING CRYING GIGGLING PERISHING at your ozzie at disney headcanons!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally cannot express to you how much joy those brought to me today 🥹🥰 (and if you ever felt so inclined to write something about daddy oz and his s/o at disney, I certainly wouldn't be complaining..... but absolutely no pressure at all!! ☺️)

and lastly (ahhh sorry this got so long!), I was wondering if it would be okay for me to message you privately on here? I completely understand if not tho - I'm very happy to remain peng-anon in your ask box ☺️ and I would never want to make you uncomfy 💜

ummmm yeah that's it! wishing you all the joy of being at disney with ozzie uwu

as always,

peng-anon 💜💜

not super obnoxious at all kjhkjhasd

ok but bluffing your way through a degree is how i managed to graduate so i support this method wholeheartedly, and when your advisor asks you anything, just nod slowly and go "ah... interesting" because that's what i did u-u (don't even get me started on the word penguin looking like a penguin it's all i've thought about)

oh i should write something with him being all cute and fun and silly ;-; ozzie in a massive t-shirt with a fannypack? eating ice cream and having a good time? i will woobify that old man, no one can stop me 🐧

omg please feel free to message me, no longer anon, be yourself >:) (and then brace yourself for me to never stop annoying you eep) 💜💜