#also anon I hope you know that I had a visceral reaction to seeing this ask pop up /lh

[pechadream]

you sound like you were a theatre kid /t /lh

fkldsjfkldsf you're completely correct anon- do you just have a sense for finding neurodivergent theatre kids or something god damn 😭😭 /lh

[top-vi]

the contrast of rhaenyra's and alicent's experiences with motherhood is so fascinating

I’ve always argued the storyline of being wary of motherhood and childbirth would’ve worked better with Alicent than Rhaenyra.

Alicent doesn’t get to choose who the father of her children is, she doesn’t have access to contraceptives nor can she refuse Viserys when he calls for her.

The themes of forced motherhood and the consequences of this would work so much better with women like Alicent: struggling to love children forced on you, not understanding why you’re not overcome with maternal affection, suffering from undiagnosed postpartum depression etc.

With Rhaenyra it just doesn’t work because unlike Alicent she can choose her children’s father and she can decide when she wants to be pregnant. In the books she has three back to back pregnancies and then stops for 4 years, whilst in the show she has Joffrey eight years after Luke which means she intentionally had a third child. Either way it all comes down to Rhaenyra having bodily autonomy; if she didn’t want to be pregnant she wouldn’t be pregnant.

Also having Rhaenyra be the one who expresses her wish to not have children honestly feels more sexist because the writers are implying not wanting to be a mother isn’t normal, so once Rhaenyra gives birth to Jace she realises the error of her ways and happily has five more. This implication doesn’t sit well with me.

so i wasn’t fair to you anon, and i’ve let this sit in my inbox since may. the reason for this is because i wanted to see how alicent and rhaenyra’s relationships to their children were developed, explained, and expanded on in season two.

regarding alicent and her children:

i think we officially got your wish anon (mine too). while some people may be unhappy with her arc in season 2, alicent has always had a deep-seated love-hate relationship with her children. i’d argue that in season one we also got glimpses into the just…visceral revulsion that she cannot shake when she looks at her children, aegon in particular. but in season two i think she’s truly confronted, in a noticeable tangible way, with the facts of her sons.

obviously, i wish we’d been able to see more of this kind of dynamic back in season one, especially with a younger alicent. however, there are season constraints and we can only see so much in ten episodes (side note: 8-10 episode seasons with a two year wait in between is a rant for another time, but know i’m not being like “yay season constraints!”).

the problem with alicent’s arc and struggle is that so fucking much of it is internal. it is so incredibly hard to show on screen and i find the way its been done so far admirable. up until luke’s death, alicent is lying to herself over and over every day about her relationship to her children, aemond and aegon particularly. once the war starts i believe the tower of lies she’s told herself (this is morally correct, i’m just doing my duty, i was treated well, i’m protecting my children like any mother should) start to crumble. i hate so much that we never got her reaction to aemond killing luke for this reason.

also, to a certain extent she may not ever truly come to grips with her trauma. there are no words for what she went through—marital rape was not a concept then. it still manifests, obviously, but i think we can tell with her repeated insistence that viserys was a decent husband and man [loud incorrect buzzer] that she still thinks she’s the one who’s done something wrong. i’ll be interested to see if the writers ever actually have alicent come to grips with the fact that viserys was, in fact, not a good person or king. personally, i don’t believe they will, but we can always hope.

anyways, all this is to say that: i do believe the themes of forced motherhood and its lifelong consequences are well done and explored with alicent (thus far). people will disagree, perhaps even you, but her eventual rejection of aegon and aemond; her desperate, almost chaotic protection of helaena; her ideas about daeron; all of it really speaks to the struggle she’s had and is going through as their mother.

regarding rhaenyra and her children:

this is more difficult that alicent lol

before i get into my gripes with her story, i do want to push back just a little bit on the idea that rhaenyra truly has bodily autonomy. regardless of when or with whom she gets pregnant, she’s still expected to get pregnant and have children. while its unfortunately not explored, she does need to produce heirs.

now. i agree with you for the most part. rhaenyra’s relationships to her children really make no sense. the only one that’s fleshed out is jace, and while that is interesting in the “she’s doing to him exactly what viserys did to her,” it is not complex internally (in the same way alicent’s is). i also personally see joffery as an oops baby, but who really knows. i don’t even know how to explain her children with daemon. they were plot necessary i guess lmfao

the problem with rhaenyra and her children is that almost all of the critical moments in their relationships happen off screen during the time jump. its a structural tv show problem and it brings up these kinds of issues when looking deeper into the relationships she would actually have. i think the writers did a good job this season of making the internal conflict and intrapersonal strife within team black better, but this is just one of those things thats never going to be explored. in this sense we’ll never really know her true feelings or the development that could’ve happened—which is a massive shame.

my personal headcanon (so take with a grain of salt and don’t come for me), is that rhaenyra isn’t against the idea of children as a teenager, she’s against the childbirth. i believe this both because of the horrors of watching her mother’s repeated miscarriages and eventual death while in childbirth, and her consistent refrain of the desire to be a man. i think she wants, to her core, freedom and, as a woman, having a child requires much more sacrifice than having a child as a man.

i don’t personally see the change from not wanting children to totally wanting children as misogynistic, but i don’t blame you for seeing it that way because of the utter lack of canon explanation for it. again, i wasn’t really fair to you keeping this until season two was finished, but i think both alicent and rhaenyra’s relationships to motherhood were developed well.

[thedelicatearcher]

Hii I think that finnick was the middle child, how you said something about him trying to stand out and enjoying the perks of being the youngest, but why add happy stuff when he can not have them😀 also I think for a family he has a father that got into a serious accident and can't work, his mother saw him in his father after the accident and became a creepy toxic boy mom. You know how they are, they get obsessed with their sons and hate their gfs (poor annie) and say shut like (Beings boy mom feels like the slowest breakup " and yeah shit like this. He has two brothers and two sisters and he's exactly in the middle. The kids have to work so they could have money and finnick was accepted into the career academy with a scholarship, his little brother, who is in my hc in Annie's friendgroup and has a situationship with her best friend, also had one but managed to stay for more than the 3 years it provided bc of finnicks victory money. Finnick went from unnoticed to being the star, including in his family. Sorry for yapping hope I'm not annoying <3

anon you're definitely not annoying!! i love reading other people's interpretations of finnick. it's so refreshing that even after YEARS since the movies and the books came out, i'm still reading new takes.

i agree. being the middle child between many siblings also fits him, but you're evil for taking away his younger sibling's privileges (jk!!). i can only imagine what finnick felt. the urge to stand out among his many siblings, getting so obsessed with it to the point he wants to volunteer for the games just to be the only victor in his family. 

also, him being the victim of a creepy, toxic boy mom makes me want to vomit😭 poor little finnick wouldn’t have peace, not even in his own home. maybe that would be one of the reasons he would want to volunteer: to escape his house and the guilt and manipulation that comes with living there.

i think this situation could mirror katniss'. a dad that unfortunately passed away in an accident, and a mom who has such visceral reactions that end up shaping their kids behavior. while katniss goes out into the woods to hunt and bring food for her family, finnick is gone most of the day to avoid being at home. when he’s not working, he finds informal ways to train, like sparring with the air using a large wooden stitch he found near a tree, or practicing catching fish with made up spears.

i like your idea of how he ends up with a scholarship to the training academy, but it’s already so ingrained in my mind the angst that comes with finnick being a naive kid victim of capitol’s propaganda in a career district, who ends up volunteering during the reaping before anyone else could. (even though it might  not make complete sense).

he used to sit down and watch reruns of older games on the tv, feeling nauseous from the horribly graphic violence, but powering through it and trying to think of strategies that would work for him. maybe his older siblings catch him and tease him endlessly, only fueling his desire to go and prove them wrong.

i can definitely see him going to mags’ door, the kindest district 4 victor he can think of, kindly introducing himself to her, and asking her tons of questions about the games. mags tries to persuade him not to volunteer, but he’s so fixated on standing out that he can only picture the pride he will bring his family when he ends up winning his games.

[slavicdolls4mangione]

Regarding the cuffs, they keep him shackled the entire time. He gets the chains in MDC and they stay on the whole day till he’s back after his hearing. It’s standard practice to uncuff one wrist if the prisoner needs to pee. Whether or not he’s watched in there depends on the discretion of the men handling him. They have to uncuff him when he’s changing but again chances are they don’t leave him alone in a room so he has zero privacy.

And yes if he needs water it’s up to them to hold the bottle up to his lips. They’re not allowed to uncuff him at any point. It’s also mandatory to have two escorts physically holding on to him at any given point of time, even if they’re locked in the transport van. This is protocol for high risk inmates and while we all know that’s bogus, they’ve falsely classified him as one in order to make his life as miserable as possible. I can’t tell about his wrists but his ankles were definitely cuffed too tight and they’re kinda stupid to do that with so many eyes on him. He won’t Hulk out with one extra inch of leeway around his ankles.

The holding cell is a secure room. Not a literal cage (thank god)

Since he’s in federal custody, he’s also not allowed to meet visitors without the shackles. So if his parents have been in to see him, unfortunately they have seen him in chains. He’s allowed one brief hug (well more like he’s being hugged, he can’t move his hands) at the beginning and ending of the meeting.

He’s only allowed to remain unrestrained while meeting his lawyers, and they typically have security nearby for standby. He’s definitely being watched but not heard when he’s with Karen. Considering even his legal team has had struggles getting face to face time with him, I doubt his family has been approved to see him. It’s very unconstitutional but he’s restricted a lot more in federal custody even though the material conditions are better. They truly can get away with anything by citing “safety concerns” for everything.

thank you for answering to my previous ask anon! this is really insightful for me as well.

my heart genuinely breaks so much for luigi, they’re treating him as less than human and it’s beyond unfair, i don’t even have the words to describe how visceral of a reaction i just got reading all this.

i hate that we all feel so powerless, that we’re not being able to do anything about it other than share information, donate, keep mentioning his name, critique and call out the juridical system and police forces.

i wanna be hopeful that justice will be served and that luigi will walk a free man but being more aware of how horrible his living conditions are right now doesn’t make it easy.

[personthattoleratesme]

So, you want to study new phannies?

well, same, i don't know what happened to me either but let me try to explain, you might find it amusing

you see, I'm 19 now, so back when they first were active i wasn't enough chronically online to be obsessed with any internet personality. (for reference, i was five when dan posted his first video.)

then covid and lockdowns happened and through some twists and turns i was catapulted deep into the 1D fandom, more specifically the larry portion of it. it was incredibly toxic and unhealthy, but it was also so much fun and taught me a lot about fandom and shipping culture. i eventually moved on into much healthier fandom spaces and honestly thought (and hoped) i was over being a fan of Real Living Human Beings.

now, i had obviously heard of dan and phil before but never watched any of their videos. so when they announced the return of dapg and everyone here freaked out about it i thought, eh, might as well take a look.

i don't know what it was about them, their dynamic, the casual happy queerness, the way they love and care for each other, their little stupid quirks, dan's way with words, but it pulled me in so damn quickly. so far i have no regrets, watching them is so nice and comforting.

however it also felt so intoxicatingly familiar to when i first got into larry, which scared me at first because i did not want to go back to anything like that time of my life. by now i have realised that this is different. it feels like a better version of whatever i had going on back then, because this time there is no need for wild speculations and intrusive theorising. them being themselves and sharing what they want to share is more than enough. maybe it's just hopeful thinking but i feel like it is actually possible to have a healthy parasocial relationship with them.

i might have missed it just a teeny tiny bit.

also!!! i feel like i picked the exact right time for this new obsession because there's so much going on, it's so fun and i amm excited for the future!

dunno if the tumblr phandom is the right place for me, right now i am pretty content with just lurking and watching you guys do your thing

with love,

a new phannie

first of all i want to say welcome new phannie! i hope you enjoy and benefit from the enrichment of our little corner of the internet.

i really enjoyed reading your story. as soon as i read larry i had a visceral full-body reaction ngl, i'm so sorry you went through that.

you have really chosen an excellent time to become a phannie. the toxicity is mostly out of the fandom, dnp are in control of the narrative now, and we don't have to deal with all the phan proof shit anymore.

it gives me so much joy that nowadays their queer happiness can be a factor in becoming a fan of theirs. there's just something so special about how after everything they've been through - and everything we've been through as phandom - that there is now this wonderfully queer and happy space that can feel safe and inviting for young queer people.

i really hope that this parasocial relationship with them will turn out to be what you're looking for. when i was a teenager they helped me through so much, and now that we're all older and have been able to grow as people i think we genuinely have a very good and healthy parasocial relationship with them as a fandom.

thank you so much for your sharing your story, i genuinely find it so fascinating to learn about 2023 phannies.

you're totally welcome to lurk here for as long as you want. i was a lurker for a long time cause phannie tumblr kind of scared me. i used to only exist in the anon asks of other users and feel free to do the same.

now i want to know: what was your first dnp video?

[roxy-writes]

ok this is in response to an ask i got from an anon about gabriel from tmc where reader was a virgin but there were MAJOR complications while writing it so im just posting it like this lol.

not proofread

"hello, my little lamb." gabriel says as he gracefully walks into your room. you shudder as his iron gaze focuses on you. his silky hair spills over one of his shoulders. a large hand moves to pet your head. he sees your eyes slightly widened in fear when he touches you. he's still trying to get you used to him, he can see you're still unsettled by his angelic presence. he loves you after all, he can only hope you'll eventually feel the same way. so tonight will be the night he takes your virginity, he decides. the idea of anyone else doing it disgusted him, pulled a visceral reaction from him. it had to be him.

he grabs your shoulder and pushes you to the bed behind you. two hands envelope your thighs, spreading your legs. "what are you doing, gabriel?" you question. he doesn't respond and his hand moves to the space between your legs. you jerk away instinctively but he forces you back to him. his fingers find your clit through your clothes and rub. the feeling of his cold fingers moving against your pussy is unfamiliar yet really good. he can tell that you're not opposed to what's happening. "gabriel, what's going on?" you ask again. "don't worry, my little lamb. lie back and feel it, darling." he responds.

his commanding tone forces you to obey him. you lie back and focus on the hand rubbing between your legs. it feels kind of good, you decide. his hands suddenly and reluctantly pull away from your pussy and remove your clothes. exposed, you reach to cover yourself, but your arms are frail compared to his. he rips them away from your body. "my little lamb, how could you hide this from me?" he mutters as deft fingers pinch and play with your chest. it feels nice, but the ache in your lower body distracts you. not to mention thinking about your disbelief that you were being touched by the prettiest man you've ever seen, who was also an inhuman being.

his hand again moves down to slip a finger inside of you. he pumps it and watches your reaction. you let out a moan and he smiles widely, almost too widely. he pumps it faster and soon adds another digit, trying to pull another delicious moan out of you. the heel of his hand rubs against your clit intensely. not long after, you're cumming on his hand, blushing and moaning his name. "does my little lamb want my cock?" he asks. "please..." you respond meekly.

he strips quickly and reveals his dick, which scares you a little. it's long, and you don't even know how he's gonna fit it inside of you. when he first presses inside you, the pain is overwhelming. it burns and you feel tears in your eyes. "aw, darling, i'll make it better for you." gabriel tells you, and he rubs your clit gently. you're distracted by this, and he uses the opportunity to slip the rest of his cock inside you. "s-shit, oh fuck, it hurts." you whimper. "don't worry, my little lamb, it'll go away soon. it'll feel good soon, i promise."

he's right, you soon discover. you soon find immense pleasure in every thrust of his godly hips. "g-gabriel..." you moan, and he smiles that creepy way again. his tip pokes at your g-spot and you cry out. he seems to be enjoying it too, you think. his eyes fill with lust. his hands grip your hips almost too tight. you think you can already feel yourself on the edge of an orgasm. you're pushed even closer when your sensitive clit is rolled between his deft fingers.

soon you're practically chanting his name, to his enjoyment. every thrust makes your eyes roll, and you're cumming on his cock embarrassingly fast. he quickly pulls out, so you're not overstimulated. he finishes himself off on your thigh with a deep groan. "you're so beautiful." he sighs and rubs at your cheek with his thumb. in a flash, you're cleaned up and laying under your sheets, and he's gone.

[distracteddegenerate]

I'm sorry if this annoying but can I please get a little fanfic with the inumaki forget idea ? Sorry if this werd English isn't my first languag

Not annoying at all anon, In fact I really like this idea of yours. (Also your English is pretty good so don’t worry!) Hope you like the fic!

CHARACTERS: Inumaki Toge x Female Reader

WARNINGS: Smut, Dark Content, Noncon, Yandere, Manipulation, Mind Control/ Brain Washing, Cunnilingus

Minors Do Not Interact! 

1.5k words

It was comforting, the fluff of ashen white hair that lay on your shoulder, the morning light seeping in from behind the slat blinds cascading a bright shimmer over the expanse of the snowy tufts. The individual strands were dusting your skin feather-light, tickling against you in the sway of every meager intake and exhalation of breath escaping Toge’s mouth.

You had known Toge for years now, and although you couldn’t truly remember how you even came to know him in the first place, he had effortlessly situated himself in the spot of one of your nearest and dearest. You found that his earnest silence brought you solace, words that he could not convey through sentence instead being understood through the knowing glances and expressions you had come to share with one another, the fluency of this mutual language only strengthening with the passage of time.

Now was one of those blissful moments of comfortable, knowing quiet. domestically lounging around your apartment during a day off, lazily giggling at some meme compilation in unison while leaning against one another on the settee. You couldn’t think of a better way to spend your time, this cozy sphere of amenity that you had constructed with Toge an apt repose from the outside world.

Whilst you were lost reflecting on your rosy blessings, you were suddenly brought back to reality when you felt the weight of toge’s head lift from your shoulder, turning to meet the familiar gaze of inquisitive violet eyes peering at you from behind off-white tresses.

“Are you okay, Toge?”

“Mustard Leaf.”

The response, that usually implied he was doing fine in the small dictionary of onigiri vocabulary he had come to employ.. Didn't feel genuine, to say the least. His irises were blown wide, registering your countenance as though he was trying to gleen some hidden information from your inquiring squint, when Toge began to lean further over you. You turned the front of your body to look at him directly, though you were steadily inclining your spine backwards in your perplexion at Toge’s unusual advancement.

He soon had draped his entire upper body over yours, hands reaching around your frame to press into the sofa to support himself as his face drew dangerously close to yours.

“Toge?” A heat was rising in your upper body. Sure, you and Toge were incredibly close friends.. But this was a little too much for your liking. You pressed your palms against the jut of his shoulders and pushed slightly, though with no true force. Blushing, you faced away from him, trying to announce your discomfort at his invasive approach. “T-toge.. This is a bit too-”

“Don’t move.”

And sure enough, compelled by some otherworldly force to entertain the command, you had stopped moving in your tracks. It didn’t take long for you to figure Toge had used his technique. Like a deer trapped in the headlights of an oncoming car, your body froze statuesque while conflicting eyes beamed alive, frantically searching for the reasoning behind the cruel fate that was racing towards you.

An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of your stomach at the sight of his lips pulled tight, his usually bright irises murky with shadows of deception. Something awful was afoot. His deadpan look in conjunction with the preceding events told you this was no prank, swiftly realising that your trust in him had been irredeemably breached to the point of fear at what was coming next. Your body twitched as you strained under the spell that had been cast on you, helpless to the plummeting feeling of the safe structure of friendship you had built with Toge coming crumbling down around you.

Your fears were proven genuine when Toge’s hand began reaching forward, coming to rest on the curve of your hip. You tried to communicate with your eyes, begging for him to stop and to just think about what he was doing, but he paid no heed to it. In fact it seemed like he was ignoring your glare, focused on the task that lay at his palms. He began deftly inching your bottoms down over your pelvis, panties and all coming to a halt over your thighs, just above your kneecaps.

It was then that he shot you a glance of what seemed like sorrowfulness, as if he was fully aware he was enacting something cruel but thought it necessary. Perhaps like how a farmer would look at lame animal before putting it to rest. 

Still, you were broken away from the horrid thoughts and back into a harsher reality when Toge had begun ripping the aforementioned cloth even further down your legs until they reached your calves. Shoving his hands between your thighs, the pads of his fingers pressed forcefully against the flesh and separated the limbs till they spread wide. You were completely exposed, the open air cutting a chill against your privates.

He traced his fingertips over your slit, with whatever wet, however slight gathered up in it’s trailing wake. He looked you in your eyes when he brought the digits to your clit, as if looking for a reaction when he began grinding his forefingers against the sensitive nub. Unable to do so much as flinch away from the offensive touch, you mentally grit your teeth as you felt that aching bundle of nerves scream against the assault. It felt painful, at first. You were so unprepared for the sudden encroachment on your most sensitive parts, It made you want to recoil in on yourself completely, though there was nought you could do in protest.

Toge began occasionally lowering his fingers to reach directly into your core, drawing out the little slick you were producing to mercifully rub it over your clit. The lubrication meant his ministrations were less painfully direct, his motions transforming into a light flutter that felt traitorously gratifying, an unwarranted heat beginning to pool in your stomach. Your body was disobediently reacting to his touches with craving, and it made you want to hide away forever but unfortunately you were rendered completely unable to escape the explicit display you were being forced to partake in. 

You felt his warm breath exhale humid air over your cunt, when you noticed from your frozen position that you couldn’t see Toge’s face any more, only the top of his alpine locks as he lowered himself further over your pulsing heat.

You knew what was coming, but you still inwardly lurched with shock at the swiping of that lithe muscle over your aching bundle. The feeling made you throb with hypersensitivity, the combination of the attention that area had received earlier now with the sudden sensation of Toge’s wet mouth lapping at you desperately causing your entire pussy to twitch around his tongue in a chase for release.

Dragging and dipping his emblazoned tongue over and between your sopping folds, he came to plant his mouth directly over your clit. He sucked over it with such vigor his cheeks completely hollowed, rolling your nub between his lips whilst deft fingers aided in your pleasure as he continued to pump them in and out of the sticky apex of your crotch. 

He worked at you for some time, steady in the intensity of his applications. It wasn’t long before the sensations grew too much, pussy clenching around his fingers as you reached a climax, flood gates swinging open as you gushed helplessly over his face.

He stayed where he was for a second, before rising. When his pale face came into view, you took in the sight of your own slick washing trails down his chin, the purple tattoos it overlay on his cheek glistening prismatic in the light the sun cast over it. He looked wild, salivating at the maw, sparkling amethysts settling an intense gaze into your own eyes which were vacantly still trying to work through the thralls of your orgasm.

Yet, fear sparked them alert with dread when you saw his mouth drop open to speak once again.

“Forget.”

Even in that split second of recognition you had before your memories had been erased for (unbeknownst to you,) the umpteenth time, it was enough for an intensely visceral stream of consciousness to flood your thoughts. You realised intuitively Toge was never really the person you thought he was, and you wondered how many times you had been used like this. How much had happened, how much had you been subject to by his cursed technique. Just how much was real in that domestic setting that you had been experiencing before it all came crashing down like this.

***

If only you knew just how much of your true self had slipped away. With your hands wrapped around his cock once more, The sunset and rise beginning to melt away at the edges into a haze of warm gradients was just a pretty sight to you, the concept of time becoming irrelevant to you as you settled into your life as an ignorant hostage.

Extra Notes:

Yeah so this kinda became a fucked up version of 50 first dates.. although now that I think about it I guess 50 first dates is pretty fucked up? Also god writing a character who hardly speaks is so hard in fic format;; I guess enjoy the challenge though

[rsmrymnt-tea]

「 🐳 」

it takes some figuring out and a willingness to maybe be at least a little uncomfortable and very vulnerable.

even more confirmation that dolasach definitely fits the bill for “#1 satan appealer” and “#1 validator of whale anon's TEDthoughts” !(•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

i find that using multiple forms of symbolism to inspire character creation, especially if you take inspiration from animals, makes workshopping feel so much more effortless? too much of it can cause one to spiral and lose sight of who their oc is when they direct their focus molding them into the symbols rather than the other way around. like you, i think it's just so much more easier to let things be instead of forcing myself to fit a status quo.

tbh with you i didn't even mind that you didn't stick with the assignment of only explaining dola's feelings! as someone who is notorious for being able to shamelessly lore dump and engage in oc conversation up to 7 hours on and off it makes me feel a lot more relieved knowing that other people are willing to go above and beyond the assignment they were given 😭 (/pos).

although, this is also my weakness when it comes to sending in anonymous asks ;w;; i want to say so much but i must do it in a way where it's comprehensible and condensed instead of giving you 38924923 paragraphs, which i can only wish i could do.

and i mentioned this before (or maybe it's buried deep in the response im typing up atm..) but it warms my heart that there's also someone who has difficulty explaining their mc in brief terms!!

i often get stuck between “ah, so you only view my mc on a surface level despite all the information i've given you” and “this is a good conversation starter for someone who doesn't know my mc”. the other day i teased someone into telling me who they believe would be the most likely to be romantically paired with my mc, and i had such a visceral reaction to it that i didn't know whether to be offended or to outright laugh .. but i just?? couldn't blame them??? like yeah i get it on paper it seems like my mc would be romantically involved with simeon but holy shit she would not have a good time if that were that case KJNDFKFJS

the way i present her to people is based on what others have told me once they've gotten to know who she is from her youth up until her late twenties (and soon to be, accidental immortality that has been creeping up on her from before the story of the devildom began . . .), is something that i've come to realize really isn't the best course of action skfnkskjf so i'll be using you as my guinea pig i hope you don't mind 🙏

which is why i think it's taking so long for me to respond? i'm trying to present you all the important details in a condensed manner, but even then, it isn't enough (｡•́︿•̀｡) but i'm not one to give up i think it's pretty fun lolol [side eyes my two self-indulgent 40+k fics that are purely for her most important relationships]

back to our beautiful dolasach! the way mc is presented in-game sends sickening chills down my ribs and forms a tight knot in my stomach, so whenever i see issues rising between other mcs and the obm cast i get really giddy! it says so much about them, from how they choose to behave or respond, to how much they choose to say . . . aaa what a dream come true <3 and it's exceptionally rare to find a mc like yours and i mean that sincerely. it's not often you see an author dive into the ugly parts of a character and still make it not inherently beautiful, but rather make it feel bittersweet.

and i really adore how you mention immortality because a while ago i went on a “what does immortality mean for immortals but specifically solomon because i said so and not in the way where he grieves but in the way where his traits have over-ripened and his relationship to trauma has become over-developed” spiel and it reminded me of something i wrote so [gently hands you this]

Is this a flaw of immortality, that everything transient seems so frail by comparison, that you’ve lived so long you’re weighed down by the memory of everything that has passed before, that you find it impossible to just live, to let things be?

and after all of the posts i've stuck around for i don't believe i've pieced together what dolasach's goal would be? there is the situation of separating themself from the identity that is inherently attached to her parents, of becoming satisfied in general, of redemption for herself . . . hm! ＿〆(。。)

also i took a peek at your TEDthought of dolasach's name and all i can say is that hi hello that is a perfect parallel to satan who wishes to separate himself from lucifer and it also makes sense that she'd have another name for when she becomes immortal <33 a start of a new era, one that she will mold herself.

agsjsha Honestly I’d be disappointed in myself if Dola was suddenly not that compatible with Satan after making her just for him 😭

Big agree on having many places to pull inspiration from as something that makes workshopping easier, but not fully relying on them to shape a character. I like to think I take just enough to have some sort of loose guide for where I want Dola to be? Of course my process isn’t perfect since I tend to self-indulge often (like with me being adamant about Dola getting her immortality from Thirteen purely because the original Dolasach is a necromancer with a specialization of reaper) and I can’t really be sure that I’m keeping my own OC 100% in character all the time but you know. Real people aren’t 100% in character all the time either <-personal copium lol

I also think I tend to shift the canon characters’ personalities a little to make things a little easier and more entertaining for myself? But I will defend myself by saying that it’s not like game canon does a stellar job of keeping it’s own characters in character. And also I just take issue with some Choices™️ >.> ehem.

Anyway anyway >.> Semi-rant about game canon aside—

You 🤝🏼 Me -> not being able to keep things short. There is too much I want to say!! And when enabled and given the impression that someone gives a shit I will overdo it lmao >.> I also find that I figure things out better and faster when I’m using someone’s ask to rubber duck. Something about having to actually present my ideas to someone makes it easier to decide on what I want and where things should go, which tends to make my answers really long because I prefer to present everything in the form of actions, feelings, and thoughts more than simple description.

Personally, I don't actually like having to describe Dolasach in single, simple adjectives? Or any character, really, much like how I personally do not enjoy being asked to describe myself in five words during those stupid questionnaires and interviews for school and employment. I don't find it easy to find the right way to describe someone because I think people are too complex to simply leave it at a handful of adjectives, even more so when everyone's perception of a description can end up wildly varying.

So pls omg, don't worry too much about perfectly presenting every single thing about Godtongue to me in the span of one or two asks >.< I will inevitably misunderstand or miss something, which will just have you spend more time clearing things up—it may be better to show me small snippets at a time until I get a solid enough idea of them to work off of. It's impossible to truly condense someone into a few simple paragraphs when you know them insanely well due to having created them dfgkjh and I also don't want to frustrate you when there's things I don't get after you've gone through all the trouble of trying to figure out the perfect way to introduce more of her to me.

Because even then, I feel like because we don't think exactly alike, I'm not going to land on something truly to your satisfaction in just one or two exchanges. Literally every take I have on both Dola and the OM cast has taken a while to reach, and all the times people have told me I've been accurate with guessing what their OC/MC would be like have all been educated guesses that I'm shocked I've gotten right; I am fully expecting and also prepared to be told I'm wrong each time I post something about what someone thinks their character's relationship with Dola would be like tbh and I welcome that fully).

So like!! Don't worry about your response too much nonnie sdfhjkdg I'm not forcing you to rush, take your time; but know that I think that we'll get somewhere faster with getting to know the similarities and differences between Godtongue and Dola if we have a discussion? ;w; Especially if I'm going to be your guinea pig for trying out different way(s) of presenting her, because contrary to what a lot of people seem to think here, I'm not actually that smart when it comes to learning about a character >.>;;

Anyway uh, back to Dola?

I'm honestly so super flattered that you think all that sdhjkd Like it makes me feel like I'm doing something right with writing Dola, y'know? Because whenever I write her I tend to hope that I'm showing people someone very flawed and very human. There is plenty that she struggles with, and I don't want people to think that those struggles are in any way beautiful or to be romanticized. Bittersweet is a nice way to put it, yeah. I think there's something both wonderful and horrific about how she goes about trying to make the most of her life throughout the eras of it because honestly, I don't think she has any major long term goals beyond just trying to have a happy existence.

You mentioned not having pieced together what Dola's goal is, and I'm assuming you mean a long term overarching goal that bears some significance and influence to her actions overall.

The thing is, I think many of her goals fall into place throughout the course of her very long life. She does eventually find an identity separate from her parents both as a person and as an artist—something that becomes easily the more of her life she lives away from them (and also, well, spoilers but they die before she's 40 so she definitely outgrows them in many ways); she eventually becomes a sorcerer of high enough skill to stand alongside Solomon and even excels beyond him in certain fields; she eventually even comes to terms with accepting that allowing oneself to breathe will not undo all the work she's done. Like, she does reach points of satisfaction throughout her life, but it doesn't exactly take very long until there is something else that she wants, something else that grabs her attention and points her to direct her efforts and growth towards whatever it is.

But in immortality, I think she does eventually run out of things to aim for. I mean, the most impossible thing out of everything she wanted to achieve actually turns out to be possible—where does she go from there?

Is this a flaw of immortality, that everything transient seems so frail by comparison, that you’ve lived so long you’re weighed down by the memory of everything that has passed before, that you find it impossible to just live, to let things be?

The lack of anything to aim for does eventually get to Dola. There are definitely times when she struggles, like really struggle, when it comes to dealing with her immortality. But she refuses to call for death and die. She knows there is nothing for her after death (or at least thinks it—I may or may not do something with the demon!Dola AU who knows) and still finds a lot of joy in simply living her life with her found family. There is still plenty to learn, plenty to discover.

In her crisis I think it occurs to her that perhaps she must imagine Sisyphus happy. And it's a strange change, but is enough to keep her sustained in between the times when there is nothing grand to chase.

(Of course, I think there is a goal of some form that she doesn't quite recognize in the form of a devotion to the one other human who understands what she's going through. Like, as much as it feels weird to admit on here, even though she and Satan have been through so much together and well, even though I made her for Satan, in the long run I think it's Solomon who becomes a source of major comfort that Satan just can't offer because immortality is inherent to him and his society. Solomon is human with a much greater capacity for empathy than Dola has, and has been through the some of the worst of immortality already all alone. And when humanity ends and the earth is consumed by what was once the sun, and the Devildom has offered asylum for the two, it just... Bonds them together in such a crazy way. Idk.

I mean, she still loves Satan with all her heart and the two have a special bond that is completely different from what she and Solomon have. But it's hard to deny the differences, and I can see the two tearfully discussing their feelings regarding it in private at some point far down the timeline of Dola's life. Btw I don't think the brothers + royals ever die unless killed. Because I said so.)

Ah, re: her name tho! I don't think it's ever an intentional choice for 'Dolasach' to become the only name she's known by over the years—it just happens. In my head half her family all go by similar single-word aliases when working, and some of them also choose to just introduce themselves as their art alias because they like the sound of it better. Fully think her father's side started the tradition with like, the great-grandmother and then the next generation, then the next, then until Dola and her cousins. I don't think there's any deep reason as to why she started introducing herself as Dolasach either cause I fully believe her father + his siblings all helped pick out possible aliases for her and her cousins to choose from at some point and she thought 'Dolasach' sounded best and started using it everywhere that didn't need her legal/birth name. From there it just stuck as she doesn't really see much difference between her as an artist + her as herself.

Is it weird? Kinda but idk, they're artists that's my their excuse lmao

(Before I end this very long answer, I like to think that this is where Satan and Dola's problems with their identity differ. I think Satan's stems from not wanting to be thought of as a mere fragment of Lucifer and a deep dread of any confirmation that that's all he is, that his efforts are inevitably pointless because his origin means that his life will always revolve around the fact that he was born from Lucifer's wrath; he will always be less, he will always be linked, he will always be questioning whether he is merely the part of Lucifer that loathes himself personified. Dola's issues stem from her knowing she is different and wishing so desperately that people would see and recognize that. That the fruits of her labor stop being attributed to being part of her family that she loathes and dismissed as something inherent to her bloodline. She's also sick of being seen and used as a gateway to accessing her older relatives because it makes her feel like no one gives a shit about what she does.

I guess in short, I think Satan's battle is more with himself because I honestly think he's likely already killed everyone who's so much as whispered about comparing him to Lucifer so mostly, the main voice left belittling him the most is his own (and sometimes the brothers I guess, who seem to endlessly favor Lucifer more despite Satan being considerably nicer and more active in helping them out on the day to day?); Dola's battle, least by the time she's in the Devildom, is more with everyone else, and that's why she was able to help Satan deal with his issues. She's already been through the whole 'am I just them but shitter/what is my inherent worth/who am I without them' ordeal and can help him to some extent, at least.)

[destinyc1020]

Have you seen Darnell’s stories? He’s definitely got himself a man. And they are both FINE.

Also, not sure if you want to open discourse about ~~the dress~~ but I have some thoughts for class discussion LOL

So let’s just agree that Zendaya looks beautiful and fire all the time no matter what. Of course!

I don’t have that strong of an opinion on the Loewe design, actually. I only wish the metal work had complemented the shape of Zendaya’s/the model’s body rather than worked against it, not even necessarily as extremely as the Tom Ford breastplate but just a curve that followed Zendaya’s/the model’s tummy and hip rather than introducing its own random curvature that made the both of them look possibly pregnant?

I think I feel this way because the curvature was like a symbol for the whole ordeal lol. Because the overall impression I got of the dress and the commentary about it was that Law’s OBTAINING the dress just five days after it was introduced on the runway, and Zendaya wearing something so “new new,” was the major point. Sure it was excellent craftsmanship, but that’s true of most atelier work. I guess I come away from the look feeling like it really wasn’t about Zendaya at all. Like it was about Loewe’s vision and Law’s juice as a stylist. That makes sense if you’re putting it on a model whose point is to show off others’ work, but not if you’re putting it on ZENDAYA who was literally showing up to be personally honored. Girl couldn’t even sit comfortably onstage to give her inspirational answers!

Hope some of that made sense.

Darnell looks like he's got himself a new "friend" lol... 😏😏

I'm just happy for him honestly. :) I know he's been wanting some companionship for a while now, so hopefully this is promising for him.

RE: The Dress... Lol.... Maybe it's just me? But I didn't really have a visceral reaction either way to that dress Z wore a the WIF lol. 🤷 It wasn't my favorite look of hers, but it wasn't awful imo either. Idk, I was just kinda neutral about it honestly. My BIGGEST reaction is that it made her look preggers tbh lol!

I've seen Z pull of some crazy fashions in the past before lol, so this one was kind of tame imo. Most runway fashion is kinda ugly to me anyway though lol, so it's not usually about how "pretty" a dress is, but more so about the artistic factor, and I realize this. I agree w/you Anon, Z is Law's muse, so she is like his dress-up doll hahaha.... This look was more about the art than anything else.

I like that Z takes risks with her fashion tbh . It's the same reason why I love Rihanna. They are risk-takers. I have always said that I may not always love EVERY single look Zendaya brings, but I have always admired her courage to be a little daring and try new things.👏 I LOVE that! It's never the same old same old boring stuff with her. She surprises me a lot! I love it! 😃 There have even been some interesting fashions that she's worn that I personally wouldn't wear, but on her, they look fantastic! She usually nails it 90% of the time, so I'm not worried about a dress that was just so-so.

I'm not someone who feels that a woman's worth should be based on what they wear on the red carpet anyway, and so while I can understand not really feeling a dress/or a look (not everyone is going to like everything), I don't really see the need to harp on an outfit that wasn't your cup of tea. If you didn't like it, then cool. Just go on about your day lol. It's not the end of the world. I'm more concerned with her award and why she was being honored tbh lol.

Bottom Line: Hollywood has endured many many MANY fashion faux pas in the past, and will continue to endure them on many celebrities in the future. It's not really a big deal to me. 🤷

[lostcauses-noregrets]

do you think eren’s friends are actually relieved that the ultimate evil to be defeated was ”just eren” and not some giant unknown with hundreds of adversaries? like, i’m trying so hard to understand the ending and everyone’s reaction to eren committing genocide but it’s honestly quite gross. it doesn’t help that those who’ve disliked aot because of its themes being misunderstood as pro-fascism, pro-imperialism etc etc are now celebrating because the fandom was so vocal about the ending being bad.

like have i been following a story i thought to be condemning war, genocide and fascism only to be hit in the face right at the end for actually trying to redeem eren and his actions because ~ he did it for his friends uwu ~ i did not sign up for this.

anyways i wish hanji had survived cuz at least they were very against eren’s plan. i think that might also be the reason for their sudden death. also the fact that levi wouldn’t have been livid at the truth, that he had to say goodbye to his closest friends, was guilted into saving armin because he was necessary for everything to go according to plan, put himself in danger constantly and almost got killed because of zeke like WHERE was the reaction to that? i know he was probably too exhausted and dejected to even care but still.

also i’m really hating the new eldia army logo taking the wings of freedom and slapping guns over it. like...c’mon.

I agree with a lot of what you’re saying here Anon. The reaction to Eren’s genocide is deeply distasteful, and his redemption is abhorrent.  There can never ever be any vindication for genocide. However I’m still not convinced that the story glorifies war and condones fascism.  War is shown as an endless destructive cycle and the fascist Yeagerists are not portrayed as the good guys, despite what some readers seem to think. I have no doubt that Isayama intended the manga to end on a tentatively hopeful note with Armin’s final speech:

 “When they see us all together like this.  They’ll have to want to know. About our story.  Why those who tried to kill one another for so long have appeared on Paradis to advocate for peace.  They’ll want to know what we saw.”

It’s a positive message. The big problem of course is how the story gets there. I’m minded of the meta post that @tsuki-no-ura wrote about the different ways in which war and conflict is portrayed in Western and Japanese media, where the aim of the narrative is to explore the motivations of the different antagonists, rather than pass judgment on who is right or wrong.  I’ve been trying to reflect on that as I attempt to get my head round this story.

A couple of other points I want to pick up on…I’m sure the crest of the imperial Eldian army is deliberately designed to shock and to invoke a reaction of visceral distaste.

I certainly agree that Levi would have been absolutely furious if Eren had attempted to communicate with him. He sacrificed everything to save Eren over and over again, because he believed that Eren was the best hope for humanities survival.  As Levi himself said in chapter 112, it’s almost like some big, awful joke.  

However I don’t agree that Levi was “was guilted into saving Armin because he was necessary for everything to go according to plan”.  If you’re referring to Levi choosing to give Armin the serum instead of Erwin, that’s not what happened.  For a start, Eren has no power to control Levi, he can not manipulate him or wipe his memories.  But more importantly, Levi stated quite clearly that he allowed Erwin to die in peace because of his own personal feelings. Levi didn’t choose to save Armin, he chose to save Erwin, by allowing Erwin to die.  That was the choice that Levi made, and it’s important we don’t loose sight of that, whatever else has happened since.

[kbsd]

I think I’m beginning to get at least somewhat controlled reactions to Bat out of Hell. Somewhat. I showed it to my friend who I was hanging out with today, who has not watched spn mind you, but still appreciated the talent and the editing of it, and I think I only put my head in my hands three times? I think that just means it’ll hurt more next time I watch it, though.

And I’m so sorry if these are annoying, but god your edit is insane and as op I just wanted to let you know how much it affected me. Hope you’re doing well <333

ahhhh not annoying at all! i love hearing feedback from people! to anyone who's sent nice anons about the video, i see them and i appreciate them i just don't want to flood the dash with asks. but please know that they truly make my day!! <3

also, thank you for watching!!! i'm glad your reaction to it is as visceral as the one i had while editing it hahahahaha

[synthmusic91]

thoughts? kjfhlkjdfh asking bc i rb'd the original post from u a bit ago because i agreed w/ original poster but i just saw this rb of it and wanted to know what u thought. ciaran(.)tumblr(.)com /post/652413157345820673/there-is-a-genre-of-posts-thats-obsessed-with-the

well first of all i hope this isn't a bait ask. this reply really doesn't deserve the time and effort i put into refuting it, but there was a point in time when i was emotionally confused by these..."arguments", so whoever u are, anon, i hope this is helpful. i also recommend some distance - literally, "go outside and touch grass", which is a lot more difficult than it sounds, but it needs to be done. anyway, here's my "analysis":

for context, here's what the post in question said:

and the tags:

at a high level, we can see that what ciaran is saying doesn't really respond to what OP was talking about. for this reason, i'm not going to bring in much of what OP said, because it's uncontested in this context, and look at ciaran's reply. i'll try to break this up...

EDIT: i had a long-ass response here, but then i realized it was dumb because the source material is dumb. i cut out most of it, but here are the highlights.

"there is a genre of posts that’s obsessed with the notion that fandom is something much larger, more prevalent, and more able to affect the way media is processed and consumed, than it actually is in reality."

so, as we can all see on tiktok and, indeed, on the electronic lore olympus billboard that takes up a side of a literal skyscraper, fandom is no longer the niche thing that "fandom olds" make it out to be. also, we can't ignore how many (white) fandom players go on and work in the industry (cassandra clare, whoever wrote 50 shades, man idk much of anything so there's probably many more). so this comment is sort of myopic. and since this is what characterizes the rest of the reply, well...it's not great.

also don't look up lore olympus; it's basically a dd/////lg fanfic that happens to be one of the most popular series on the line webtoon app, which is rated for teens...and for $1 to the creator's patreon, you can view not sfw p*dophilic art, so. also obviously i didnt do that; there was a video essay about this. i can't find it though

"ironically but understandably, these posts are made by people who are so terminally fandom-poisoned that they ascribe phenomenal power to it, and think of it as some great evil that must be defeated (by making posts on tumblr, which is obviously a very influential thing to do)"

"fandom-poisoned" is such a nebulous term, especially since it appears to mean "has had some really significant, (in this context) bad experiences with fandom." this is, first of all, a huge assumption to make about a stranger, and second, not the own they think it is. i'm just going to link this post, and hopefully you can see how it relates.

anyway, the "making posts on tumblr is meaningless" is um...interesting, seeing as off the top of my head i can think of two very influential tumblr blogs that talk about really important issues, Gradient Lair and Red Light Politics. I don't know as much about Red Light Politics, but Gradient Lair is frequently cited by academics (not getting into academia nonsense now but... -_-). also, they sound more pissed that the original post did gain traction, but whatever. this paragraph doesn't really make sense, but nothing here does, because i wasn't given much to work with.

"...and then because these people have basically no imagination and unfailingly pick on others for their own faults, they project their own experiences on everyone they perceive as being more ‘in fandom’ than them,"

jesus christ. i'm going not say anything about the tone of this because i put too much effort into this for some rando to call me a cyberbully.

i think what they're thinking about is how there appear to be some "fandom critical" people who try to, holistically, "ruin everyone's good time" by "stirring up drama" about popular fandom artists/writers/whoever else idk. oftentimes these people will also make jokes about fandom whatever, seemingly picking on random people's interests.

however, if you look at the long history of fandom racism, fandom's normalization of p*dophilia, and even general fandom harassment, and then you look at fandom's visceral, unwarranted reaction to criticism regarding these things, you can quickly see that disillusionment towards fandom is entirely reasonable. as for the joking, well...this an oversimplification but not everyone needs to like what you like. it sounds like they just need to get over themself.

and go “You, a 27 year old queer blogger who is into [tv show/anime/movie] an embarrassing amount, are now going to be the face of Capitalism” with no self-reflection or critical thought given to how fucking cringe it is-"

so, i'm regretting putting so much effort into this because this is so fucking long and i have to analyze this nonsense...it feels like i'm back in my feminist thought class. nightmarish. but anyway, this seems to deal with- [CUT FOR LENGTH. nothing important was missed].

EDIT 2: actually here's a summary of what I had. it deserves better than to be a response to this nonsense, but first it detailed how this took 1. the op's post and 2. a comment that we don't even know if op agreed with and misinterpreted that, and threw quite a fit about this- and i hate to say this because this term is misused so often by redditors, but- strawman.

I then went on to discuss how, for example, PoC can uphold systems of white supremacy. while obviously no person of color is going to be the "face" of white supremacy, the discussion still needs to be had, especially within that group. similarly, while fandom constituents may not be the face of capitalism, there needs to be a discussion, within fandom, on how they support and are defined by capitalist (and other) systems.

it was really too good of a point to be making for this trash reply. I could go say more, but I'm still trying to stay on topic, unlike ciaran.

"to act like random people on the internet, end users with no influence over corporate decisions, are the ones personally responsible for the fact that late-stage capitalism has destroyed popular art and culture in an increasingly sordid attempt to make money."

we've been over the "no influence" bit - because in fact fans do have influence, especially since media creators are literally fans, etc etc. i'm tired of people acting like they have no power and using that as an excuse to support and perpetuate harmful, easily avoidable behavior.

also, to act like the nebulous system of late-stage capitalism is the only cause of bad media is ludicrous. first of all, someone has to make these so-called "corporate decisions", and the people making artistic decisions are, again, overwhelmingly members of "fandom." this comment is really trying to keep marvel trash and lore olympus-esque nonsense in the same atomic, indivisible category lest someone catches a whiff of nuance.

"the above post is a great example of this phenomenon because op admits freely that they only think fandom is destroying media because they have been spending more time in fandom and thus have an over-inflated sense of its importance in greater culture. posting your own Ls indeed."

i'm so tired. this person literally has 120 works on ao3 like...who is spending more time in fandom.

and the tags:

#i assure you that fandom has no bearing on my actual real life #and if it does on yours. then that is your problem #it's also a very funny problem to

now this is just egregiously tone deaf. you do not need to do more than a cursory google search to find a bottomless well of examples of fandom harassment, threats, doxxing, and violence, much of which is racially motivated. you can see why it would be bad to make fun of this. 

also the way that “fandom has no bearing on their actual real life“...120 fanfics on ao3. 120.

conclusion:

the reply clearly misinterprets of op's point, and as such, does not refute it. they responded to another issue altogether, which is that of the sanctity of their ~coping mechanism~ or whatever it is. their argument in this respect was, in my opinion, delusional and pathetic, especially given that they wrote it on someone else's unrelated post.

FINAL NOTE: i cut out lots of this because the reply went in so many different directions, so some stuff might not make sense. let me know if you have any questions.

[tomakeitbeautifultolive]

Hmmm, you know it's funny that you ask if I tag anything anti s8 Dany or anything to differentiate between Dany before and after S8. The honest answer is I really haven't. It's interesting cause on the surface it seems I've been easily able to dismiss S8 Dany to the point where she doesn't really exist in my pov of Dany, but for some reason the S8 version does. This may be personal to me though, I have a few theories why that is but the truth is IDK for sure WHY that's gotten under my skin. (1/?

The first reason/theory being that I didn't watch the last two episodes of the show in their entirety - once it was revealed what would happen I just watched certain clips from youtube and such. Therefore I didn't really watch the scene where Dany burned KL. I didn't watch Arya running through KL trying to save people. But I did watch Daenerys' murder scene like the masochist I am ugh. I really regret that. Because that's the iamge that pops up when I think of S8, not KL burning. (2/?)

The second theory/reason being that I, myself, am an abuse survivor and the abuse I survived was, for the most part, at the hands of a man. T throne room scene and the way it was framed/filmed really triggered me (which is a reason why I should've known better and not watched it at all, stupid past me). And perhaps, if I'm trying to dig deep, it maybe just confirmed a deep-seated trauma response in me where I just ... fear that all men are capable injuring or even killing their loved ones. (3/?

And the response of some people saying shit like "see, he HAD to do it" just ... really made that feeling worse. Which is ... really fucked up. And I should probably talk about that in therapy and work through that cause that is some HEAVY baggage. Thanks for letting me spill my guts on your page lol (4/4)

Oh, and a third theory/reason may be that as an abuse survivor I specifically bonded with Dany, not just because of her story, but also because of her characterization as an abuse survivor that wanted to prevent further abuse. And it may be difficult for abuse survivors who looked up to Dany to see her as an oppressor, especially since it was so abrupt and poorly done. It could be a combination of all of these really. Emotions are complicated. (5/5)

                                           .  .  .

Hi again, anon! First, it is my honor to have you spill your guts on my page. ♥

I unfortunately did suffer through the penultimate episode (I had a friend over that night and, bafflingly, she wanted to watch it). While I have not seen episode six in its entirely, like you, I am a masochist and I have watched the death scene. I had to know.

The scene absolutely hits you in the gut with a visceral reaction. An unforgivably vile scene that I wish I had never watched. As a life-long fan of true crime stories, the first place my mind went to was how women are most likely to be murdered by their romantic partner - and D&D saw fit to turn this cowardly, dishonorable, and deplorable act into an act of heroism?

Utterly disgraceful.

Please, please remember that behind Jon Snow's action in that throne room were two very real and very ignorant men who were not only grossly insensitive but completely lacking in any empathy or awareness beyond their immediate experience on earth.

David Benioff and D.B. Weiss never, for one second, understood what a symbol of hope Dany was. Further, they have no remorse for all of the hearts they shattered in their pitiful attempt to turn the series into their 'Breaking Bad'.

After all, David Benioff said:

"Themes are for eighth-grade book reports."

Meanwhile, women all across the world found comfort and solace in this fictional character who showed them that it was possible not just to overcome the most heinous acts committed against you, but to come out stronger for it. To become powerful. Following season eight, I had many one-on-one conversations with abuse victims who shared stories similar to yours - and, as someone who is very lucky not to be a victim of physical abuse, I'm eternally grateful for this insight. I know how devastated and betrayed I felt - but it goes so, so much deeper for those who have, like Dany, encountered abuse. It, in fact, tops the list of reasons what D&D did to Daenerys is absolutely unforgivable and unjustifiable to me.

And I'm truly unsure as to how my words have gotten so twisted on Tumblr here tonight - but I must reiterate - I don't see Dany as an oppressor either, anon, no matter how hard the writers would've liked me to. Dany’s heel turn was the very first part of season eight canon that I rejected because it was so extreme, so over-the-top, and preposterous.

Now. There's a line in your ask that brought me to tears.

"I just fear that all men are capable injuring or even killing their loved ones."

David Benioff and D.B. Weiss took Jon Snow, the most chivalrous male character throughout the series, a character you probably put your trust in for that exact reason - and they saw fit to use him in a way that affirms that this suspicion you have about men is right.

It is cruel. It is devastating. It's not right.

The true tragedy of season eight is how much hope these thoughtless men robbed from their audience by failing to consider the implications of their choices and only how much they could 'shock' the audience.

Please, please know that the people who argue that Jon "had to do it" are simply looking for some depth in the shallow kiddie pool of season eight. And by the gods, anon, it’s just not there. If you don’t believe me, believe the millions of signatures on that petition for a rewrite.

If you see an argument like that again, I strongly urge you to look past Jon Snow and see the two careless men standing behind him known as David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, because they were the ones who put that dagger in Jon’s hand. Jon Snow’s actions in season eight were just another asinine attempt to subvert our expectations.

I know it’s not much, but if ever you need someone to talk to, I can be pretty good at lending an ear, so don’t be afraid to come off anon and say hi. I think there are a few gals/guys around here who might still vouch for me 😅 Regardless, I really enjoyed hearing from you, so thanks for the asks! ♥

[sunlitroom]

Hi! For the ship chart - Gobblepot, Wayleska, BatCat, Nygmakins

Thanks for asking, anon :)

Well, I like all of these :D  But to elaborate.  And by elaborate, I mean - write a massive essay, because I’ve been in lockdown for over a month now.

Gobblepot - The best OTP of all OTPs

I’ve written a ton of meta (how unfashionable of me) and had conversations with very clever people about Gotham’s writing.  It has its flaws - as does everything - but when it does things well, it does them well.  Jim and Oswald are paralleled from beginning to end.  Even when they’re not technically sharing a story - it’s made clear that these people are connected.  Prisoners offered a good example of that, which I recapped here

Jim and Oswald’s connection is made clear right at the beginning - we start off with their story.  Jim’s freshly arrived in town, full of big ideas and hopes.  He has a shiny new job and a beautiful fiance.   Oswald doesn’t seem to have the same external trappings of growth and success - but he’s planted several seeds in the hope they’ll come to fruition later.

It’s interesting to see how reckless and brazen they both are in season one, too.  They both stare down the barrel of a gun at points, and practically swagger up to certain people and dare them to kill them.  They both retain their impulse to thumb their noses at authority, and do downright dangerous things - but they become increasingly less blithe about it over the seasons as their respective trauma accumulates.  There’s a joy in it at the outset, more of a desperate grimness as we go on.

We also get to see their vulnerabilities.  There’s little hints early on that there’s more underneath.  Jim might look like the invulnerable golden boy but - to quote a line from Silence of the Lambs - his face is all scars, if you know how to look.  Look at his immediate bond with the bereaved Bruce, because Jim saw his father die at the same age.  Look at Jim’s reaction when Loeb comments about not following in his father’s footsteps.  Look how quickly his relationship with Barbara falls apart - in fact, just look at it in the first place.  

Oswald’s vulnerabilites are more and less obvious.  He’s the Other to Jim’s all-American hero.  He’s flung about all over the place in season one - tiny-looking in comparison to the likes of Falcone and Maroni.  He’s left with a permanent limp after Fish’s beating.  Less obviously, we see that he’s strongly motivated by his need to make his mother happy, and that the notion of causing her shame hurts him to the point of tears.

All that kind of stuff, all the careful details, built slowly, really make it for me.  They’re built on later - in many ways they’re very different, but in others, very similar.

This difference/similarity plays out in their encounters, too.  They’re oddly fascinated by each other.  Oswald’s attraction is made very apparent from the outset .  Yes - Jim might be another piece on the chessboard (albeit one he won’t sacrifice) - but he blushes and stares and lights up when Jim appears.  Even later, when all the hurts and wrongs between them have mounted up, he still can’t quite resist gazing.

Jim’s a combination of uneasy but fascinated in Oswald’s company.   The early scene in the alley pinpoints it so well - the moment right after this one:

Oswald - who is adept at reading people (in season one, anyway) grins - because Jim is rapt.  He has his whole attention.  To steal a line from Hannibal this time. he watched the red sparks pinwheel deep in his eyes and felt the excitement of a child approaching a distant fair.  Although, in this case - it’s all more illicit and scary.  Jim knows he shouldn’t go to this fair, and this fair is a dangerous place.

And that odd fascination never really goes away.  Even at points when Jim is angered or revolted by Oswald’s actions - he’s never repulsed.  He’s more likely to shake him than turn his back on him.

This dynamic might morph a bit, depending on circumstance - but Jim always stands too close, stares too long, likes to tease, and is quick to head in Oswald’s direction when the chips are down.

A last point. Something else I enjoy is that they know the best and worst of each other, and seem to have an endless capacity for forgiveness.

Wayleska - sort of an OTP?  I do find it a heartbreaker of a ship.  

Pre-gas Jeremiah is so instantly smitten with Bruce.  That first interaction and he’s completely gone.  I’m posting the gifs again because they’re glorious.  I know they’re all different sizes, but meh.  

What makes it all so painful is that you can see - post-gas - this is still there.  He’s still head-over-heels, and there’s slivers of awareness there.  But the gas has twisted everything, and you can see part of him is mortified and pained at how this is all playing out.

Especially here, in these next gifs.  Even the big showy gesture is laced with pain, and afterwards just seals it

Given his secretive and hidden-away past, you could probably hazard a guess that this is the first time Jeremiah has been in love.  On top of that, he seems reserved and restrained by nature.  And here he is - being forced to reveal his feelings like this.  

On saying all that, I loved what I saw in show - but maybe prefer it as a pairing in fics.  Bruce - for me, anyway - doesn’t seem mature enough to deal with the intensity of Jeremiah’s feeling - pre and post-gas.  Maybe when he’s a little older, it’s something he could at least take in and process, but it seems a little one-sided in show just because Bruce doesn’t really seem to recognise what’s happening, let alone parry it.  

The only point where you could argue that he was aware, and that there’s feelings there, I think, is the fact that he’s so angry at Jeremiah.  With Jerome, Bruce almost felt responsible for his actions, and does what he can to mitigate them.  But with Jeremiah, Bruce refuses to even tell him that they have a connection in order to save people’s lives.  His anger and obstinacy feels more visceral and - if I prod it - looks like hurt and betrayal.  Bruce saw Jeremiah, at least, as a friend.  His reaction to the loss of that seems a bit disproportionate - so maybe there are nascent feelings there?

But generally. yes, better in fic where the writer can take more license and time with Bruce.

BatCat - It’s not an OTP - but it’s sweet and I like it?  I’m not so mad keen about how forgetful Alfred and Bruce can sometimes be of Selina in earlier seasons, and sometime tone-deaf at points later - but yes, it’s nice.

Nygmakins - I like this.  It’s maybe not an OTP - but I ship it.  The foundations aren’t quite as extensive as with Gobblepot - but they’re there.  They’re both seemingly sweet-natured, sciencey and fascinated with the darker side of life.  Very early on, we know they have interactions that we don’t see.  Lee apparently allows Ed to use the lab and exam room when he wants, and he dreamily remarks that she smells nice.

Later, we see more similarity as their duality becomes more apparent, and their shared taste for violence, darkness and power.  Lee enjoys the applause of the crowds in the Narrows just as much as Ed enjoys the audience adulation for his ‘gameshow’.  Lee’s revenge on Sofia is as protracted and merciless as Ed’s on Oswald.  

Last up - they both have a desire to be entirely seen, which is something they seem to find in each other.

Thanks for the ask, anon.  I fire the same pairings back at you, if you feel like answering :)

[touchmycoat]

um, hello! if you wouldn't mind, a request: what do you think about sabo who sorta has ptsd/anxiety/sometimes finds it hard to shut up his thoughts and Sleep and marco gets what it's like to find it hard to sleep and ace knows how hard it is to get your mistakes and regrets to shut up, and the two of them working him over to help him get out of his own head?

Hello anon~! A lovely, lovely prompt, thank you so much. I do adore vulnerable!Sabo and Ace & Marco taking care of him.

Second Chances ‘verse, MAS, Rated T for generalized trauma and vague references to violence

There was never any rhyme nor reason, the nights Marco would come awake and find Sabo just staring at Ace with a hand curled around Ace’s wrist.

The first time Marco caught him at it, Sabo had given him such a glare. Not the oh-that-sounds-dreadful-challenge-accepted glare or the you-did-something-so-stupid-that-I-have-to-mask-my-concern-with-irateness glare that was more the norm these days, but the genuine, I-will-kill-you-and-then-myself-if-you-tell-anyone emotion of days long past.

He needs to keep a hand on Ace’s pulse, was Marco’s last bleary thought that very first time, before he rolled right back around to sleep, and to give Sabo the privacy he so clearly craved.

Ace didn’t often wake up on nights like this, because he was a deep sleeper to begin with, and Sabo was dreadfully good at keeping himself still-but-not-too-still, attentive without the intensive fixation that would wake up anyone with decent battle instincts. The only reason Marco was ever woken up was decades of shifts in intensive care; the slightest change in breathing pattern, the slightest twitch of distress had Marco coming awake in an instant, all doctorly attention.

But it’s not like that doctorly attention did anyone much good, if Sabo wouldn’t let him get within fifty feet to put any healing into practice.

Marco ended up asking Ace about it, because it’s wasn’t pride that had stayed his tongue for so long. The one night though, that Marco saw the smear of red on Sabo’s teeth, he knew something had to be done. Instead of blinking once and rolling over like he’s done so many times before, that night, Marco glared back. He let Sabo know that enough was enough, and he was forcing the issue if Sabo wasn’t going to resolve it himself.

By daybreak Sabo was gone, leaving Marco to bring the issue and the awkward question—hey, I know he loves you and all but do you think I might’ve scared Sabo off for good last night?—up to Ace himself.

He did what? Pulling a stricken expression, Ace had jumped immediately into his boots and on his feet, headed for the door. And it’s not like Marco could even dream that he knew better about Sabo than Ace, but he understood the value of a second opinion—so he stalled Ace with a hand on wrist. Over pulse point.

Do you think confronting him about it is the best solution yoi? It was a genuine question, and Ace’s guilty furrow of his brow was a clear answer. So Marco asked his next question, and do you think he would just… leave?

Of course not, Ace answered sharply. He wouldn’t. He won’t. He has to come back.

Then can we afford to wait? Give him space?

…If, Ace finally said after genuine consideration, he doesn’t show within 20 hours, I’m going after him.

Marco made himself not take Ace’s first person singular personally.

But it worked out fine, because Sabo actually came back by hour fifteen. Night had settled again by then, and at a time when the two or three of them would typically be getting ready to sleep, Sabo opened the bedroom door to Marco and Ace still fully geared up to head out in a moment’s notice. Ace made a beeline for Sabo and clasped his sworn brother’s shoulders in his hands, and Marco didn’t try to see either of their expressions, blocked from his line of sight.

It’s fine, Sabo mumbled, all his stiff lines immediately relaxing into Ace’s touch. It just happens.

What can I do? was Ace’s immediate question. It had been the one on Marco’s mind too, in that precise trajectory—what could Ace do? Sabo’s made it more than clear that this wasn’t something he’d welcome Marco’s interference in. Should I—?

What, not sleep? Sabo snorted. Nah, it’s actually better if you’re sleeping. It’s more calming, I swear.

It, Marco figured, must refer to Ace’s pulse, Ace’s breathing. So what Marco witnessed wasn’t the symptoms, but the attempted pain alleviation.

(An attempt that was still failing, if the fact that Sabo was chewing holes straight through the inside of his mouth was any indication.)

You really don’t have to feel guilty about that, Ace said in anguish, both for Sabo and at himself, for having nothing but such an obvious statement to make. It was as if the most straightforward remedy provoked an allergic reaction in Sabo, all his systems rejecting what sounded like the simplest truth to Marco’s ears.

I just need to know you’re alive. This Sabo said so softly that Marco knew he was not meant to have heard. So he ducked his head and turned further, trying to give them privacy while simultaneously consider a secondary course of treatment. He had made up his mind about changing things, and any doctor worth his salt wouldn’t let a little thing like allergies get in the way of healing. So Marco let them murmur to each other, standing right there in the middle of their bedroom, while he stared hard at his lone bookshelf digging for an answer.

It took another few nights spent together for the attack to happen again. Or perhaps, for Sabo to slip up enough to wake Marco again.

There was, Marco thought as he noted Sabo’s hand over Ace’s wrist again, as he watched the soft motions of Sabo’s jaw as Sabo chewed on inner cheek tissue, something oddly ironic about the roles at play here. It was Sabo who’d “died” in their childhoods, but now, it was Sabo who feared (in such a visceral way) Ace’s death. Perhaps it had to do with processing; after all, Ace and Luffy have had much longer to come to terms with Sabo’s death, whereas Sabo learned of every way he’s lost and could still lose Ace all within, what, a couple of hours? It’s only been a few months since then—enough time for wounds to heal, sure, but also enough time for deep psychological trauma to fester and surface.

Perhaps it also had to do with Sabo himself, and the return of his past identity. He was Ace and Luffy’s brother, but that deeply treasured, deeply engrained marker of existence had been powerless against his amnesia. Perhaps it left Sabo feeling unmoored on multiple fronts, where on one hand he couldn’t reconcile who he was with who he had been, and because of that he couldn’t quite accept the continuity of events that would lead to Ace’s life not-lost, since in his mind he wasn’t far enough away from the Sabo-who-never-remembered and therefore Ace wasn’t far enough away from death and—

A potential solution coagulated in Marco’s mind. Sabo’s glare tried to warn him off again, but they didn’t accuse doctors of God Complexes for no reason, Marco guessed. It was in his training, his nurtured nature by this point to just try, dammit. Better than letting Sabo stay mired alone in the incisor-riddled hurt.

Marco got out of bed. Since everything, they’ve mostly kept to this same sleeping configuration: Ace in the middle, Marco and Sabo bracketing. It was comfortable. It was convenient. Nobody’s had any complaints.

Sabo stiffened now, as Marco left his side of the bed, circling around to the other. The intention was obvious, Marco’s motive less so. However, maybe in the interest of Ace’s continued sleep, maybe in concession to his own unsustainable upset, Sabo didn’t say a word. He didn’t shove Marco’s hands away, and even followed the gestured direction to scoot himself and Ace forward so that Marco could relocate into what had been Sabo’s position in bed. Now, Marco was spooning Sabo was spooning Ace.

Carefully, Marco reached his free hand over Sabo’s body, and took hold of Sabo’s hand, the one that was still holding onto Ace’s. He pressed his fingers to Sabo’s pulse.

Sabo stopped breathing. It was only for a few seconds, but that was enough for Ace to begin shifting in dismay. Pressed front to Sabo’s back, Marco could feel the moment Sabo forced himself to start breathing in a deceptively regular rhythm again, until Ace settled once more. Marco could trace the speeding and forced moderation of Sabo’s heartbeat throughout the entire process.

He could hear the very-real stutters in Sabo’s inhale when he accepted what Marco was trying to communicate. Marco only hoped that Sabo was hearing something close to the message’s intended meaning: you’re alive. You survived, and so has Ace.

In Marco’s grip, Sabo’s hand tightened around Ace once more. Marco thought he could almost feel Ace’s pulse conducted through Sabo. Two proofs of life, slowly syncing. From his vantage point Marco could see Sabo’s jaw directly in front of him—tension was slowly draining from the temporomandibular joint as incisors retracted from skin.

Thinking now only of Sabo’s words— it’s actually better if you’re sleeping, I swear—Marco made his own breathing ease too, closed his eyes and dropped to sleep.

(In the morning he would wake to Ace’s quietly happy grin. Sabo was startlingly between them and even more startlingly still sleeping. With a slight nod, Ace would gesture down to their hands, all of which have reconfigured in joint sleep.

(Sabo would have one hand on each of his lover’s wrists, breathing along to the pulses as he held them warmly to center mass.)

[caffeinatedtimdrake]

hey there, could you write #54 with dick? love your blog

thank you anon i love YOU!! hope you enjoy 💖

1.5k fluff of Dick Grayson/Nightwing x Reader in which a spa night turns into a superhero reveal. 

54.“You really have no clue who I am?” “You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you.”

Tonight was supposed to be a breath of serenity amidst a weeks of simultaneously tedious and tumultuous school work and job interviews.

But one of Gotham’s vigilantes just had to come crashing through your window in the middle of your solitary spa night. 

You hadn’t entirely intended to spend the evening alone. You asked Dick a few days ago if he wanted to grab dinner tonight because he always radiated abundant enthusiasm when you told him you had a moment of free time and because you thoroughly enjoyed the warm energy and sweet kisses of a man who might be your boyfriend at this point – but you two had yet to label this agglomeration of cute notes, lunch dates, and hand-holding. 

Dick notified you sulkily that he would be busy on this quiet spring night (“I’m distraught that I’m missing out on a night with my favorite person, emphasis on dis”), but pinky-promised to take you out for waffles next week. You tried to expire the disappointment from your lungs with a smile and deep exhale, but largely failed.

It always leaves you a little winded when you ponder the steadily growing piece of your heart reserved for Dick Grayson. ‘Head over heels’ barely captures the sweet, pleasantly dizzying daze of being enamored with Dick. You are beyond head over heels; you are tumbling headfirst, a downward spiral into strong embraces and musical laughter and syrupy adoration. It enthralls you more than it scares you: rather than drowning in a sea of vulnerability, you’re floating on a comfy raft, probably resting against a sun-kissed, muscular chest and drinking blissfully from a coconut. 

Coconuts and a handsome young man are presently absent from your home, but at least you could spend some quality time with your cat, who blinks at you drowsily from the couch as you pour a fizzy, sugary beverage into an unnecessarily fancy glass. 

“You know, Socks, I hate to be nosy, but he didn’t actually tell me why he was busy tonight. And it’s not like I’m…worried…or anything. I’m just curious.” 

Socks doesn’t have much of a response, save for a wide yawn. 

You tell him that you appreciate the feedback as you go into the bathroom and rummage for your favorite clay mask, laced with strawberries and honey. It looks a bit unruly, bright pink against your skin, but you needn’t impress anyone tonight.

Socks chatters softly after you switch on the TV and plop down next to him, glass in one hand and remote in the other as you search for your favorite rom com. He butts his head against your hip and curls up next to you, purring, and you scratch behind his ears. 

“Aw, buddy, you’ll always be the number one guy in my life. Even Dick knows this.”

Socks nuzzles closer and you can’t fight the warm smile across your mouth at the mention of Dick. 

You feel light and pleasant, a soft breeze billowing in through the open window and ruffling your hair and the thin curtains and dragging the scent of strawberries from the mask through the air. You think you even might be dozing off when Socks jumps straight up and digs his claws into your thigh. 

You barely remember to cry out in pain because, moments after, a lithe tangle of black Kevlar comes barreling though the open window.

(Socks, your knight in shining armor, dives beneath the couch.)

The heap of lanky limbs mumbles, “Ouch,” and you raise a pillow defensively, slowly inching towards him. You figure that if worse comes to worse, he’ll be scared away by the thick layer of pink across your face. 

He flips onto his back and props himself up, rubbing his forehead and grumbling. 

His gaze flickers up to you, sheepish smile lingering beneath the curve of a black mask across the bridge of his nose. “Hi.” 

You blink at the glowing blue bird across his chest and part your mouth but omit no coherent sound; you can’t decide whether you should scream or inquire about his well-being.

“I, um, h-hello?” 

He stands slowly, gracefully, shaking out his wrist and rubbing his elbow, toned muscle adorning a lanky frame. “I apologize for…barreling in through your window.”

“It’s…okay. I think?” 

His features knit into a frown. “But it’s late and a weekend and you live by yourself. Should you be leaving your window wide open at all?” 

You frown back. “I like the fresh air. Plus, you aren’t my mother. With all due respect, Mr. Nightwing, I will open my window if I damn please. And I have a cat, I don’t live alone!” You huff, dropping the pillow and crossing your arms over your chest. 

He raises his hands in surrender. “You got me.” He presses his finger to an ear piece and his voice drops, turning his whole body away from you. “I’m good. Tiny accident. No, Red, that’s silly. Socks belong on your feet. I’ll see you tomorrow. Nightwing out.”

You stare at him, bewildered, and your body buzzes with adrenaline. Would this be an appropriate time to call the police? Would it be inappropriate to call the cops on a guy who kind of qualifies as a superhero? Should you call Dick? 

He must see the litany of distraught questions playing across your face because he flashes you a reassuring smile. “This whole thing was supposed to be a lot more nonchalant. But this has turned into a disaster, all dis. I’m a little glad your window was open, I must admit. Crashing through glass is kind of painful.” 

“…what in the world?” You ask for many reasons; why he ended up in your apartment, why he speaks to you so casually, why he plays with words like Dick Grayson, why he sounds an awful lot like Dick Grayson…

The smile droops off his face. The curl of his mouth is achingly familiar, but you hesitate to think blatantly of who it resembles. 

“You look…confused.”

You nod, plopping onto the arm of the couch. “A little.”

He leans back against the counter across from you. “You also look a little bit like a strawberry. A cute one.” 

He jolts at your visceral reaction because you stand up straight, eyebrows arched. “I have a boyfriend. You cannot call me a cute strawberry!” You pause, gaze flitting to the ceiling. “Well, he’s not formally my boyfriend. But I think we’re getting there.” 

A grin quirks at his mouth and you blanch, choking down the torrent of butterflies against your ribcage. 

“Why are you smiling?!”

He sobers, wrinkling his nose and tilting his head a bit like a disconcerted puppy. “You really have no clue who I am?” 

“You’d think the confused look and blank stare would have answered that for you.” 

Nightwing laughs, a warm sound born in his throat and echoing off the walls of the apartment, and you’d know that sound in any storm.

Your stance softens slightly and so does your tone. “I mean, I can speculate.” 

He undoubtedly wiggles his eyebrows beneath the mask and his voice drops in a way that makes heat rise violently in your face, red beneath pink. “Want to come over here and take off my mask, Y/N?” 

The air is different now as he approaches you, cloying and thick. He halts an arm’s length away from you. Dick does this literally and figuratively; he always wants to meet you in the middle, lingering in between distance and intimacy, and you often ponder the idea of soulmates because it seems like in this amorous universe, you’re always gravitating toward him – and he’s pulled towards you with the same sweet energy. 

You move deliberately through the haze of trepidation, timid in the way that you place your fingers beneath sleek Kevlar and against smooth, heated skin because removing this mask is removing countless safeguards and the cover on a can of worms, to reveal vivid aquamarine and the man you are hopelessly falling in love with. 

“Hi, Y/N.” 

You smile so wide it cracks your mask and you might have half a mind to feel embarrassed but you’re too enthralled by the sight of Dick’s handsome face and soulful eyes. 

“Hi, Dick. Er, Nightwing.” You say, a little breathless.

“I really am sorry for crashing through your window. I didn’t know what other way to enter the building inconspicuously and also inform you of my other identity.” 

“You could have just…told me. Socks was less than thrilled about it.” You giggle a little. His eyes are bright with adoration and it makes your heart sing. “But I appreciate any excuse to see you with my own eyes.” 

“Oh, honey, the sentiment is absolutely reciprocated. How whelmed are you?” 

“Not overly at the moment.”

He kisses your mouth briefly, a breath of flower petals and honey. “Am I allowed to call you a cute strawberry now?”

You narrow your eyes for a moment. “Only if you put on the clay mask.” 

“Of course!” Dick chirps. “Then we can both be cute strawberries.”