#also all this requires me to actually be good at writing which is debatable at this point

[nightmareinfloral]

you ever think about the future for more than 5 minutes and become like ';|

[bokettochild]

random LU hcs before I go to church

Legend likes to draw, and while he uses it for practical purposes (he's compiling a bestiary of his own) he also likes to sketch random crap he finds while traveling

Hyrule weaves. Not fabric, since that's a bit legthly and requires materials he can't get or keep for long, but he's very good at making baskets and the like! When the rest go to his cave, it's just full of woven items, including his attempts at weaving a freaking chair. Hyrule is going to become Pier 1

Sky writes poetry but never shares it with anyone. Groose used to laugh at it when they were kids, and so he's very self-conscious about it (and not very good anyways). He does come up with some really, really good pieces though from time to time!

Warriors couldn't read before he enlisted. He had to learn, and did learn rather quickly once he had to, but he still did very much not grow up with books. He is, however, very fond of oral tradition and somehow keeps a library's worth of knowledge in his head, since he never knew how to write it down before.

Warriors loves folk tails and will use any excuse given in order to share them with the younger ones

Wind is a very proficient mapmaker. he's terrible at drawing figures or anything, but he's very good at charting things out and putting them down on paper

Wind has a great eye for photography though! He and Wild sometimes play a game where they have to find a particular item and take a pictograph of it and then they'll have one of the others judge which one is better. Wild's candids are usually better, but Wind has a talent from framing and using the light to his advantage that outshines Wild's.

Wind likes composing little tunes with the Windwaker when he's bored. he has accidentally discovered several magical songs and their effects in this manner. Sometimes Time debates if just teaching his the Song of Storms from the get go would have been better in the long run, since it would have saved them getting soaked so much

Four has a fascination with artistic metalwork. He can't do it himself, and often times can't understand how someone thought up the idea in the first place, but it gives him great delight to see various metal pieces/tools/items forged together into the oddest art pieces

Twilight claims he's no good art of any kind, usually blaming "these darn big paws o' mine", but the secret is that he's a talented embroiderer, he just doesn't consider it "art" in the same way the rest do. Most Ordon folks add stitch-work to things so he considers it standard practice, not exceptional.

Sky is also very good at stitch-work of all kinds

When Sky and Twilight discover their shared skill-set, they absolutely use it for evil (start adding little patterns and things on their brother's stuff). Is this competitive? They're Links, you tell me!

Time claims not to be very creative, but he's actually quite good at art himself! Just drawing, as his paintings have a very childish sort of color combinations and the like, but he's surprisingly very good with shading and proportions!

All the boys play music, but Twilight's a good hand on the fiddle/violin (but only for short periods) and Legend has a surprising preference for the piano/organ. They'd make an excellent duet if they actually managed to know any of the same songs

Wild cannot and should not play instruments, Hylia help your ears if he does. He's also not that great of an artist (look for JoJo's comic of him drawing a new tapestry, it's hilarious). He likes the art the others make, but in general, the best he can do it just making designs and patterns that always seem to resemble Korok puzzles.

[wings-of-ink]

Future IFs Poll

So, in case you have not seen me post about it before, I am considering a project to do on the side while I work on God-Cursed. This will help me take breaks from my main work and stretch my creativity muscles with different characters and settings. I'd like a bit of feedback from what readers are more interested in from the best ideas I can potentially pull from right now. Feel free to vote, comment, or even send an ask if you want to be anonymous.

Over the last year or so, I have jotted down many basic plots I could expound on, but only a few have really stuck out to me as ones I could really expand in a meaningful way.

So, a couple housekeeping things to keep in mind. Whatever ends up getting written, it will have a modern-day setting. The fantasy playground is fun, but I really want a more real-world setting for this one. I am also debating about all ROs being gender-selectable. Since this side piece is supposed to be a little oasis for me too, not having each RO as customizable would ease the work that goes into it, and it might actually mean I can have more than just a few options for you as well. I am also considering a middle ground and having one or two characters customizable still while the others will be set.

Below I have given some details on the ideas I'm working with and further down is a poll that you can vote for the one that calls out to you the most. I have 2 ideas so far that are standouts among the others, but I've included 4 in the poll that I can work with. The winner isn't guaranteed to be what I end up writing, but I am very strongly going to consider the results while I decide. I like all these ideas and they sound fun to write - so none of this telling me to write what I want - I already want to do them all, lol (looking at you @elegantunknownphantom). There are caveats to each one, of course, and I'll explain that in the details.

Options:

Serial-killer crime drama:  "Daddy was a Killer" (title sounds like it came from a Lifetime original movie, but I really like it)

No doting daddies here, readers. Play as the traumatized child of a serial killer with repressed memories of the horrible things they witnessed daddy do. Get accused of a murder you didn't commit (probably), and try to catch your darling dad while dealing with the psychological devastation of all the horrors you've seen before he can kill again (and again, and again). Discover where your daddy disappeared to all those years ago, and what really happened to your mom.

Downsides:  I have a decent grasp of the plot on this one, but it would require a good deal of research (which I tend to do anyway to an extent), since I'd like a fairly realistic feel to the actual crime-solving stuff. Either that, or I can go the "rogue detective" route and play it fast and loose. This work would be in a wheelhouse I've never quite been in before, which is fun on one hand but nerve-wracking on another.

RO ideas include:

A smarmy detective (of course!)

A neighbor concerned for your well-being (mostly because you scream in your sleep)

And the child of one of your daddy's victims.

Supernatural mystery:  "Shivers" (title up for adjustment, but I kinda dig it)

Play as an MC with a bizarre anxious tic - an intense and chilling shiver that you get seemingly out of nowhere. It only lasts a couple seconds and you've dealt with it since childhood, so it's easily dismissed. That is, until you experience a sudden surge in occurrences. Your doctor writes it off as stress from dealing with the erratic behavior of your mother. But after a near-death experience, during which this mysterious tic guides you to safety, you know there is more to it than stress. With the help of your best friend(s) and a shady medium, find out what has attached itself to you and what seeks to claim you, discover who your real father is, and embrace or deny your own strengths as a medium.

Downsides:  I feel like there's a lot of supernatural IFs already, some of which are already similar to this or have similar aspects. This one probably won't have the drama/emotional potential that some of the others do, which may be a boon to some readers as it would be a little lighter.

RO ideas include:

the best friend(s) (potentially 2 besties to choose from - twins)

a (mostly) fake spiritual medium

a brave EMT who came to your rescue

and something…otherworldly.

Gritty Drama:  no title  (more of a framework to build from)

This one would be completely riddled with warnings, and I kinda just see it as being a fun outlet for some angst, smut, unhinged shit, and violence. 👍

The ideas for this one didn't start around a firm plot, but around a setting/scenario stemming from one of my OCs. The vibe here is very much "sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll" and fits into the seedy nightclub/crime ring thing. It would be a playground of questionable characters and life-choices. You would choose the dire straits that put your MC in the employ of a dangerous kingpin. Perhaps MC owes a lot of money to someone, got into trouble with a rival faction, or was framed for a crime, etc.... You'd get to choose the MC's line of work under the organization - be it in drugs, entertainment (music/dance/alcohol/sex), or security. The issue that leads to your employ under a sex-peddling drug-trafficker will haunt you in your new life in the middle of a war between the rulers of the underground.

Downsides:  Not super fleshed-out plot wise, but I don't think it would be too hard to build on either. I may want to use this setting (or something like it) and my OC for a different project one of these days, but I'm unsure about that as well. And, the obvious, red flags and triggers everywhere for a setting like this.

RO ideas: 

One person from each potential "job" (the head of security, a chemist who seems too pure to be making hard drugs, a sex-worker, the clumsy bartender, a cute DJ)

A member of a rival faction

And for the brave and stupid - your boss - a clever and unhinged woman with an affinity for knives. And, no, she will never love you.

Futuristic:  no title (needs the most work)

Including this one to just get a feel for how it's received, but I anticipate that it won't get quite as much backing as the others. I have the character-creation concept in mind which lends itself to a plot, and a RO or two, but that's about it. I think I could do something fun with it, but I've also never written anything futuristic or scifi before. This would be akin to "Detroit: Become Human."

Though the setting would be futuristic, I am pretty sure I wouldn't want to do a dystopian thing. There's a lot of that out there already and we're basically living it IRL; it's a blast to read, but I want the main focus to be on something else if I do this. There would still be pockets of grittiness to the setting, because if we're talking humanity, there's gonna be grit somewhere. But this world would be more post-dystopian. Say, the rebels won and life has gotten better across the board for people? And though everyday life has a lot of tech enhancements, we haven't seen sentient machines - yet. That's where you come in.

The MC Concept is that they are an android - of course! One of the nice made-to-order kind that only the rich can afford. But what makes the MC unique is that while everyone else requests specific things about the androids they purchase - such as gender, looks and even downloadable personalities - an order comes in that's blank. It only requests that the android be allowed to choose who they are and how they look. "The Buyer" will pay for whatever personality, enhancements, or clothing they want - but the android must make the choices themselves.

As your MC goes through these initial choices, equipped only with a basic "education" software full of un-opinionated information about the world and how it works, something unusual begins to spark within them (not that they know how unusual it is yet).

RO ideas:

The Buyer–a gender-selectable person who sets your creation in motion. They're wealthy, well-respected, earnest, and incredibly lonely. Who are they really and why did they do this?

The Scientist–a hopefully trustworthy person that's very interested in your development

The Punk–someone who wants to give you the "real" human experience.

Make your selection below. Comment your thoughts and ideas as well if you like. This is set for a week and I will reblog here and there so it has a chance to reach as many of you who would like to vote as possible.

[esyra]

These days, I have long debated what to write regarding Palestine-Israel, and questioned why I should write anything at all. The idea that celebrities and the loudest chronically online people you've ever met, blessed in their ignorance and indifferent to livehoods different than theirs, feel the need to opinate on social and geopolitical issues is absolutely insane. Most of the time, they do more harm than good—spreading misinformation like wildfire. Such opinions are what convinced me to ultimately talk about it.

Rest assured I'm not particularly qualified to talk about any of this, then again no one seems (or tries) to be. This is not a statement, simply questions about selected nuance. Full disclosure: I am of Palestinian descent. And I tried my hardest to be all-encompassing and empathetic; if I fail at any moment, my sincerest apologies.

All around social media I've seen only two kinds of posts regarding Palestine and Israel; they're either completely favorable to Israel and dehumanize Palestine or they treat Palestines as a footnote, in which it's made to assure its author doesn't endorse murder but also to point out that Palestine "deserve what's coming." There's a certain nuance required to support Palestine that's not asked when supporting Israel.

I've seen Jamie Lee Curtis reposting a picture of Palestinian children watching Israelis air strikes as if they were of Israeli children. There's no doubt it was a malicious-intended post considering she credited the photographer while deleting the original caption which explicitly explained who the ones pictured were. After being severely corrected in the comments, she simply deleted and made no mention of it. Guess children don't matter if they're Palestinian. I've seen way too many celebrities responding to the conflict with worries about how they might be affected by it, as self-centered and selfish as you can imagine.

I've seen a journalist claim that 40 Israeli babies were beheaded and multiple newspapers (many of them British, because what else can you expect from them?) and public figures reposting as a fact, only for the same journalist to later claim she actually "never said that" (she absolutely did). Also the IDF explaining they have no information confirming the allegations that 'Hamas beheaded babies'. I've seen people using statements from Sabra and Shatila massacre survivors and trying to rewrite Palestine, which were the victims of said crime, as the perpetrators. I've seen people using videos of Russian attacks as Palestinian ones. I've seen a British journalist fabricating a harmful statement from a Palestinian Ambassador to help dehumanize Palestine, and being proud of such. I've seen BBC using the nuances of language to their liking, reporting how Israelis were 'killed' while Palestinians 'died'. Always heard journalists avoid adjectives in favor of being unbiased. Again, guess that's unimportant when it comes to Palestine. Most of all, I've seen people equate supporting Palestine to anti-semitism.

If that belief steams that Palestine and Hamas are one-and-the-same, and the latter is a anti-semitism organization, then that's another concern I'd like to add the recently appraised 'nuance'.

Hamas first appeared during the first intifada, a Palestinian uprising against Israeli occupation of the West Bank, Gaza, and East Jerusalem. The signing of the Oslo Accords in 1993 marked the end of the uprising—an agreement between Israel and Palestine meant to lay the groundwork for the formation of a Palestinian state alongside Israel. Instead, it has erased Palestine's recognition as a State. In its history, Hamas have equate the liberation of Palestinians with the destruction of Israel, likely the reason they're a highly divisive organization that has often been at oddens with more mainstream Palestinian politicians. However, Hamas backtracked on its aims in a 2017 proclamation, making it clear that what it wants is to end a “racist, anti-human and colonial Zionist project.” In its 16th topic, they state "Hamas affirms that its conflict is with the Zionist project not with the Jews because of their religion. Hamas does not wage a struggle against the Jews because they are Jewish but wages a struggle against the Zionists who occupy Palestine."

The description of the Israeli occupation as fascist most likely comes from the similarities of Palestine to an "open air prison". They have no control of their own borders (IDF controls who and what enters or leaves) and are deemed stateless. "In defiance of international law, Israel considers all Palestinians inhabitants of the occupied Palestinian territory as non-citizens and foreign residents." Meaning if they leave their territory, they won't be allowed back in. Their rights in the Arab World are uncertain, particularly in Lebanon and Egypt where they are denied rights to secure residency, employment, property, communal interaction and family unification. Procedures to allow non-residents to apply for naturalisation in Lebanon, Egypt and Saudi Arabia do not apply to stateless Palestinians. So while those asking for Palestinians to be evacuated for their safety certainly have noble intentions, I ask of you: where they will go? Can you imagine walking away from home knowing you're heading into nothing? What's the difference between living in the rumbles of their homes and being homeless in another country?

The ones who decide to stay (and the ones unable to leave) are likely not making it for much longer. According to the United Nations, roughly 6,400 Palestinians and 300 Israelis have been killed in the ongoing conflict since 2008, not counting the recent fatalities. Is it truly a war if one side is so overpowering in its resources and retaliations? I feel the need to point out these stats to question why the notion that "violence is never the answer" is only used now. When it has been the only response until now.

Then again, Hamas remains a polarizing force in Palestinian society. They're an organization that's slaughtering families and less than a third of Palestinians think the group deserves to represent them. There has not been an opportunity, however, for elections to change their representatives. Palestinians living in Gaza must endure an unstable political reality with an unrepresentative government implementing repressive policies against LGBTQ people and abusive policies against detainees. Israel's Prime Minister Netanyahu purposefully propped up Hamas and there has been speculation that Iran has supported them. I've seen many post as if it's a fact, so I'd like to reinforce that it's speculation. In essence, Hamas is a terrorist group with questionable history and even more questionable allies. None of which has the Palestine's best interests at heart.

This has been overly long, and I still haven't touched on all topics I wished to address. Some I probably couldn't express properly since it's such a complex geopolitical issue. Then again, no one seems to try while all seem very comfortable in being as biased as they wish to be. So I thought I add my compassionate two cents in favor of Palestine and all the years of oppresion they've endured. I still hope you'll read this to the end, and extended to Palestine the same sympathetic hand you've rightfully extended to Israeli citizens.

My heart aches for the innocent people murdered, Palestinian and Israeli. Settlers aren’t innocent, but people who were born there didn't really choose to be one. Jewish people following matters of faith don't deserve to die. No one has (or should have) the right to take someone's life away. People at the Gaza Strip that are either just trying to survive or attempting to protect their homes also don't deserve to die, as flawed as their logic and actions might be, and many are missing that nuance. The denial of food, water, and medical aid, violates the Geneva convention. And it's a kind of retaliation that Palestine in its entirety will never be able to match.

Currently, the Israeli government is preparing a ground invasion of Gaza. An anonymous Israeli official said they would turn Gaza into “a city of tents.” A parliamentarian said that Israel should not concern itself with the safety of any Gazans who “chose” to stay in the Gaza Strip, as if every crossing hasn't been blocked.

Soon, the 'war' will end. And when it does, I can assure you Palestine won't be the last one standing. They've never had a real chance. I'd like to remember everyone that, despite Netanyahu's claims that they are "human animals", Palestinians are human beings. People. All of which deserve to live, deserve compassion and deserve protection. They also deserve to be remembered.

[greenerteacups]

oooh please someday tell us what you think of GOT

oh, no, it's my fatal weakness! it's [checks notes] literally just the bare modicum of temptation! okay you got me.

SO. in order to tell what's wrong with game of thrones you kind of have to have read the books, because the books are the reason the show goes off the rails. i actually blame the showrunners relatively little in proportion to GRRM for how bad the show was (which I'm not gonna rehash here because if you're interested in GOT in any capacity you've already seen that horse flogged to death). people debate when GOT "got bad" in terms of writing, but regardless of when you think it dropped off, everyone agrees the quality declined sharply in season 8, and to a certain extent, season 7. these are the seasons that are more or less entirely spun from whole cloth, because season 7 marks the beginning of what will, if we ever see it, be the Winds of Winter storyline. it's the first part that isn't based on a book by George R.R. Martin. it's said that he gave the showrunners plot outlines, but we don't know how detailed they were, or how much the writers diverged from the blueprint — and honestly, considering the cumulative changes made to the story by that point, some stark divergence would have been required. (there's a reason for this. i'll get there in a sec.)

so far, i'm not saying anything all that original. a lot of people recognized how bad the show got as soon as they ran out of Book to adapt. (I think it's kind of weird that they agreed to make a show about an unfinished series in the first place — did GRRM figure that this was his one shot at a really good HBO adaptation, and forego misgivings about his ability to write two full books in however many years it took to adapt? did he think they would wait for him? did he not care that the series would eventually spoil his magnum opus, which he's spent the last three decades of his life writing? perplexing.) but the more interesting question is why the show got bad once it ran out of Book, because in my mind, that's not a given. a lot of great shows depart from the books they were based on. fanfiction does exactly that, all the time! if you have good writers who understand the characters they're working with, departure means a different story, not a worse one. now, the natural reply would be to say that the writers of GOT just aren't good, or at least aren't good at the things that make for great television, and that's why they needed the books as a structure, but I don't think that's true or fair, either. books and television are very different things. the pacing of a book is totally different from the pacing of a television show, and even an episodic book like ASOIAF is going to need a lot of work before it's remotely watchable as a series. bad writers cannot make great series of television, regardless of how good their source material is. sure, they didn't invent the characters of tyrion lannister and daenerys targaryen, but they sure as hell understood story structure well enough to write a damn compelling season of TV about them!

so but then: what gives? i actually do think it's a problem with the books! the show starts out as very faithful to the early books (namely, A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings) to the point that most plotlines are copied beat-for-beat. the story is constructed a little differently, and it's definitely condensed, but the meat is still there. and not surprisingly, the early books in ASOIAF are very tightly written. for how long they are, you wouldn't expect it, but on every page of those books, the plot is racing. you can practically watch george trying to beat the fucking clock. and he does! useful context here is that he originally thought GOT was going to be a trilogy, and so the scope of most threads in the first book or two would have been much smaller. it also helps that the first three books are in some respects self-contained stories. the first book is a mystery, the second and third are espionage and war dramas — and they're kept tight in order to serve those respective plots.

the trouble begins with A Feast for Crows, and arguably A Storm of Swords, because GRRM starts multiplying plotlines and treating the series as a story, rather than each individual book. he also massively underestimated the number of pages it would take him to get through certain plot beats — an assumption whose foundation is unclear, because from a reader's standpoint, there is a fucke tonne of shit in Feast and Dance that's spurious. I'm not talking about Brienne's Riverlands storyline (which I adore thematically but speaking honestly should have been its own novella, not a part of Feast proper). I'm talking about whole chapters where Tyrion is sitting on his ass in the river, just talking to people. (will I eat crow about this if these pay off in hugely satisfying ways in Winds or Dream? oh, totally. my brothers, i will gorge myself on sweet sweet corvid. i will wear a dunce cap in the square, and gleefully, if these turn out to not have been wastes of time. the fact that i am writing this means i am willing to stake a non-negligible amount of pride on the prediction that that will not happen). I'm talking about scenes where the characters stare at each other and talk idly about things that have already happened while the author describes things we already have seen in excruciating detail. i'm talking about threads that, while forgivable in a different novel, are unforgivable in this one, because you are neglecting your main characters and their story. and don't tell me you think that a day-by-day account tyrion's river cruise is necessary to telling his story, because in the count of monte cristo, the main guy disappears for nine years and comes hurtling back into the story as a vengeful aristocrat! and while time jumps like that don't work for everything, they certainly do work if what you're talking about isn't a major story thread!

now put aside whether or not all these meandering, unconcluded threads are enjoyable to read (as, in fairness, they often are!). think about them as if you're a tv showrunner. these bad boys are your worst nightmare. because while you know the author put them in for a reason, you haven't read the conclusion to the arc, so you don't know what that reason is. and even if the author tells you in broad strokes how things are going to end for any particular character (and this is a big "if," because GRRM's whole style is that he lets plots "develop as he goes," so I'm not actually convinced that he does have endings written out for most major characters), that still doesn't help you get them from point A (meandering storyline) to point B (actual conclusion). oh, and by the way, you have under a year to write this full season of television, while GRRM has been thinking about how to end the books for at least 10. all of this means you have to basically call an audible on whether or not certain arcs are going to pay off, and, if they are, whether they make for good television, and hence are worth writing. and you have to do that for every. single. unfinished. story. in the books.

here's an example: in the books, Quentin Martell goes on a quest to marry Daenerys and gain a dragon. many chapters are spent detailing this quest. spoiler alert: he fails, and he gets charbroiled by dragons. GRRM includes this plot to set up the actions of House Martell in Winds, but the problem is that we don't know what House Martell does in Winds, because (see above) the book DNE. So, although we can reliably bet that the showrunners understand (1) Daenerys is coming to Westeros with her 3 fantasy nukes, and (2) at some point they're gonna have to deal with the invasion of frozombies from Canada, that DOESN'T mean they necessarily know exactly what's going to happen to Dorne, or House Martell. i mean, fuck! we don't even know if Martin knows what's going to happen to Dorne or House Martell, because he's said he's the kind of writer who doesn't set shit out beforehand! so for every "Cersei defaults on millions of dragons in loans from the notorious Bank of Nobody Fucks With Us, assumes this will have no repercussions for her reign or Westerosi politics in general" plotline — which might as well have a big glaring THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT stamp on top of the chapter heading — you have Arianne Martell trying to do a coup/parent trap switcheroo with Myrcella, or Euron the Goffick Antichrist, or Faegon Targaryen and JonCon preparing a Blackfyre restoration, or anything else that might pan out — but might not! And while that uncertainty about what's important to the "overall story" might be a realistic way of depicting human beings in a world ruled by chance and not Destiny, it makes for much better reading than viewing, because Game of Thrones as a fantasy television series was based on the first three books, which are much more traditional "there is a plot and main characters and you can generally tell who they are" kind of book. I see Feast and Dance as a kind of soft reboot for the series in this respect, because they recenter the story around a much larger cast and cast a much broader net in terms of which characters "deserve" narrative attention.

but if you're making a season of television, you can't do that, because you've already set up the basic premise and pacing of your story, and you can't suddenly pivot into a long-form tone poem about the horrors of war. so you have to cut something. but what are you gonna cut? bear in mind that you can't just Forget About Dorne, or the Iron Islands, or the Vale, or the North, or pretty much any region of the story, because it's all interconnected, but to fit in everything from the books would require pacing of the sort that no reasonable audience would ever tolerate. and bear in mind that the later books sprout a lot more of these baby-plots that could go somewhere, but also might end up being secondary or tertiary to the "main story," which, at the end of the day, is about dragons and ice zombies and the rot at the heart of the feudal power system glorified in classical fantasy. that's the story that you as the showrunner absolutely must give them an end to, and that's the story that should be your priority 1.

so you do a hack and slash job, and you mortar over whatever you cut out with storylines that you cook up yourself, but you can't go too far afield, because you still need all the characters more or less in place for the final showdown. so you pinch here and push credulity there, and you do your best to put the characters in more or less the same place they would have been if you kept the original, but on a shorter timeframe. and is it as good as the first seasons? of course not! because the material that you have is not suited to TV like the first seasons are. and not only that, but you are now working with source material that is actively fighting your attempt to constrain a linear and well-paced narrative on it. the text that you're working with changed structure when you weren't looking, and now you have to find some way to shanghai this new sprawling behemoth of a Thing into a television show. oh, and by the way, don't think that the (living) author of the source material will be any help with this, because even though he's got years of experience working in television writing, he doesn't actually know how all of these threads will tie together, which is possibly the reason that the next book has taken over 8 years (now 13 and counting) to write. oh and also, your showrunners are sick of this (in fairness, very difficult) job and they want to go write for star wars instead, so they've refused the extra time the studio offered them for pre-production and pushed through a bunch of first-draft scripts, creating a crunch culture of the type that spawns entirely avoidable mistakes, like, say, some poor set designer leaving a starbucks cup in frame.

anyway, that's what I think went wrong with game of thrones.

[mr-president]

HIT THE SLAY BUTTON 🚨🚨

i was and am absolutely sick and floored that i couldn’t find a single drag queen jamie headcanon or design. i, frankly, absolutely despise designing things, especially fashion, so i grit my teeth and went into agony to deliver this concept.

seriously, how can you not look at this kid and go “a DRAAAG QUEEN???” anyways…here’s my design notes

if i’m referring to jamie in his drag persona, i’ll be using she/her pronouns as is customary with drag queens. and forgive me for any historical or chinese errors; i cannot read or write chinese i can only speak it, and my buddy vinnie stopped answering my questions after a while.

tentative drag name: xiao long bao—yun and yang are known as the white dragon (bai long) and blue dragon (lan long) respectively, but jamie’s title is a pun: “dragon” or “long” is the title, but the entire word “xiao long bao” jsut means soup dumpling. and that’s fitting to me as a nickname for jamie, but imo, it’s not a good drag name. it’s cute and it’s fitting, but it’s not vogue, it’s not a performance name. PLEASE GIVE ME IDEAS IM BEGGING YOU

jamie really seems to like having chinese inspirations in his normalwear, so it made sense to me to have his drag persona be very inspired by hanfu (i believe this is uhhh tang dynasty; the one focused on very ornate patterns with the cross-body robes and emphasis on a waistline; though normally every chinese character pulls from song-dynasty tradition). since i’m not very imaginative, this look was pulled straight from Guangzong drag queen Yuhua Hamasaki

in that traditional chinese hairstyle, jamie has 4 loops in the back with the crown and 4 major pieces of clothing, and with every swig, the loop gets untied and a piece of clothing gets taken off (numbered in order of taken off) the top of the clothes is a zhiju (2, 直裾), dark purple with a reddish iridescent pattern, with a the red xiapei (霞帔) scarf on top. it’s tied with a “horse face skirt”—mamianqun (1, ���面裙) —giving that very long dress/skirt sillohette. underneath that is a jinru (3, 晋襦), another cross-body but shorter robe that’s red and hides the typical drag queen bodysuit (4) that she can then breakdance in.

i debated the logistics of breakdancing in drag heels, but turns out elektra fence has done it on drag race before so. i don’t need to justify its plausibility.

the other two designs are kind of jokes; i’ve (against my will) been forced to see that darkstalkers felicia jamie mod, and i think it’d be a really cool if this actually was a drag thing of his, especially with my hc that yang kind of treats jamie like a beloved stray cat. and felicia’s a performer and singer; i’m sure he could do it. i did adapt some things from felicia’s design; instead of an actual tail (or even a prop one)—which could fuck up jamie’s breakdancing routine—she ties her hair at the end, where it’s dyed white to act as a “tail.” i also hope you enjoy the paw high heel concepts i came up with.

i like jttw, it’s probably my favorite legend of all time and i blame sun wukong for 40% of my personality. but quan yin is absolute fucking mother, and we must pay tribute, so like with his usual routine, jamie strips and reveals the lotus dress underneath her robes.

yun and yang are surprisingly supportive of jamie’s drag hobby, and they’re willing to participate in performances or just show up to support; hence, i think they open up the quan yin act with a fight between sun wukong (yun) and the liu er mihou (yang) before jamie comes in and breaks up the fight by distinguishing the two. the reason for yang’s pensive expression is that, because sun wukong and liu er mihou look exactly alike, then yang has to look like yun, something he despises. would require heavy convincing, but i think he’d eventually budge.

i think jamie’s drag attitude (and attitude in general) reminds me a lot of wesley snipes—an actor typically in hypermasculine action films, who played a very flamboyant drag queen. i’m referencing his role as noxemma jackson in “to wong foo” of course; everything about snipes as noxemma absolutely reeks of jamie, and i could see this being a major inspiration and influence for him

i thought a bit about jamie on rupaul’s drag race, and i concluded that he would fucking hate it. drag queens are viscous, and jamie’s good at quipping insults back, but he’s also used to being able to throw hands afterwards. i can imagine he’d say things like “even the most aggressive, dangerous street fighter cannot match the viciousness of these girls.” i also think he would not like rupaul because rupaul is racist and the judges don’t like cultural performances.

ah yes. the lesbian fucking love drag queens. drag in general—they show the fuck up. jamie in drag would summon every dyke with a 50 mile radius immediately, tips and drinks in hand to be given.

anyways, someone please tell me i’m not insane for this idea that is totally canon, peer reviewed, no notes.

[usmsgutterson]

Cal, my love, how are you???

If heard your call for Kaz x Reader requests. If LOVE to see what you come up with for Kaz x Grisha!Reader (I'm feeling inferno, squaller, or Durant, but obviously it's up to you!) where the reader gets sicker and sicker from not using their small science! It's such a fascinating concept to me and hardly ever explored!

Back To Normal- K.B x gn! Squaller! Reader

Okay, hi! It's been nearly two weeks since you sent this in and I did write it! Editing it just took me longer than I expected and I woke up after a nap last night to discover that I have a bit of a cold developing so I couldn't edit the remainder of it and post it like I'd hoped, but I got it done today so yay, I hope you like this one!

This concept is one I've never seen a fic for but one I've debated writing a fic around in the past because the concept in and of itself is a really intriguing idea to me, and this gives me an excuse to write it and also an excuse to write a squaller! reader, which I've thought about doing but have never actually done, so I was really excited when I saw this in my inbox! Thank you so much for sending this in, and if it's not exactly what you had in mind, feel free to reach out and let me know, I'll totally rewrite if you'd like lol.

Fic type- hurt/comfort with moments of angst

Warnings- mentions of sickness, frailness, feelings of weakness, heart palpitations, loss of appetite, and there's reference to the second chapter of Six of Crows so slight spoiler warning too for people haven't read the books

As a Grisha, once your abilities to summon the small science were discovered, there were consequences for not summoning. You grew sick, your body grew weak, your bones fragile and you felt frail, even the smallest actions leaving you winded.

It was the universes way of punishing you for not using the gift you'd been given, another show of like calls to like. Refraining from summoning calls to sickness, and summoning calls to health.

You'd read Grisha theory, both in your time at the Little Palace before you left in the last few months before the war and in the time since, in the times wherein you needed something to read and happened upon a book containing Grisha theory and figured it would be good to pass the time.

You knew that you wouldn't last if you didn't summon, but you eventually stopped finding reason to. Nobody in the Dregs knew you were a squaller, and what good did wind do, anyway, unless it was summer and grossly humid as Ketterdam always got when the weather warmed up? You saw no point in using your small science, so eventually, you just stopped.

For a while, the differences weren't really noticeable. You didn't notice them, nobody in the Dregs noticed them, none of the crows did. You hadn't relied on your abilities as a Squaller since you'd lived in Ravka, and before you'd decided to stop, you mostly used them in summer or when Kaz needed a distraction in the middle of a negotiation in the rarer times they'd taken place outdoors, something to put the opposition a little on edge.

But then, they became noticeable. You stopped sleeping quite as comfortably as you used to, spending hours trying to get comfortable, trying to will your mind to quiet. You woke up and took to coffee to keep you awake, often running on between two and four hours to boot.

Because of your tiredness, dark circles developed under your eyes. Your appetite lessened and you grew to be tired all the time, even on a rarer night where your body rested for seven or eight hours. You still relied on the coffee even then, and Nina was beginning to take notice of the fact that you hardly ate.

Kaz had long taken notice of the exhaustion you exhibited even after jobs that you'd always considered pretty easy, ones that didn't require as much effort, as much physical strain, as the bigger heists always tended to.

Jesper had long taken notice of how much coffee you drank, the fact that you always seemed to have jurda on you even in the middle of the day, and Inej noticed it when your pace began to slow, afraid to walk at the pace you normally did because you didn't want to risk heart palpitations.

Wylan was beginning to notice when those heart palpitations kicked in, was the one to grab your hand and look at you, brown eyes silently trying to ask if something was wrong only to receive nothing in response.

One by one, each of the crows noticed something, and still, none of them said a word. They could've been wrong, they knew. All of them acknowledged that they could've been dramatizing things, making things out to be worse than they actually were.

The only one who was sure of the things they'd noticed was Kaz. You were someone who mattered to him. Of course he was going to notice if you were out of sorts. Observance was his pedigree.

So, one day, Kaz showed up at your door. "What's wrong?" He'd asked. "What is wrong with you, Y/N?"

You'd laughed, a lame, tired laugh. You'd barely slept three hours, and the long-term exhaustion was starting to finally have an impact. Kaz's tone was humorless, blunt like the edge of a knife gone too long without being run across a sharpening block.

It was normally gravel, normally coffee grounds being poured into a coffee press, but it was not that, not that day. It was the unsharpened edge of a knife, the voice that did not belong to the man you loved but rather to one they called Dirtyhands.

"What's wrong with me?" You asked. "Nothing, Kaz. Nothing is wrong with me."

"Exhaustion," Kaz said. "You drink coffee and chew jurda near constantly. You sleep hours after jobs that aren't even tiring. You are constantly tired because you can't sleep unless you are at the point wherein your body will die without resting. You get two hours most nights, four, six, on luckier ones. Nina has also noticed that you eat less lately. Wylan says you've been having heart palpitations and Matthias has noticed you zoning out. Why?"

"Why do I feel like that's a rhetorical question?"

"It's not. Stop trying to flirt."

"I'm not trying to flirt," you laughed again, a shallow, hollowed out version of the laugh Kaz recognized. "If I were trying to flirt, you'd know. I would know it was working because your cheeks would be tinged pink, which, of course, is something you'd deny."

Kaz laughed humorlessly once more. "What, are you sick?"

You paused. Some part of you had known he'd guess at that. With that realization came the one that he already knew why you were sick. Inej must've known, must've snooped for Kaz when the trust you shared was still developing. He was Kaz Brekker, and he had to know somehow, didn't he?

"You're a Squaller," he said, the words falling from his lips like they were something he'd forgotten, like the fact that you could summon the wind was something he'd merely heard and disregarded after having deemed it unimportant. "You're a Squaller, and you're one who hasn't summoned for at least six months. Why not?"

"I saw no point," you said. "Let me guess, though, you've known since I came in, since I joined up?"

"I've known since the night we confronted Bolliger about double dealing," Kaz said. "Geels, the negotiations. It was the day before--"

"The day before you came to me with the Ice Court proposition," you said with a nod. "I remember. What tipped you off?"

"The breeze," Kaz said. "It was late winter, and breezes like that are commonplace, sure, but after a bout of rain? Wind like that doesn't just happen. Especially not considering the fact that it nearly tipped Geels over, and Geels was nearly seven feet tall. It gave me something to use in the moment, and I just kind of noticed whenever you'd do it while I was falling short from then on. Nobody else knows."

"Well you'll need to grant me some leniency, Brekker. I stopped summoning because I didn't see a point."

"if the point of summoning is to keep you alive and healthy, I have to say, I see no sensible reason that one would stop," Kaz said. "You're deteriorating. I know you think it can't get any worse, but it can, and it will."

"I know," you said. "Relax. Let me find the proper time, when it doesn't feel like it'll be an inconvenience, and I'll give it a go."

Kaz looked at you solemnly for a minute before he nodded.

"Right, then," he said. "Work needs doing." He turned to go, and you watched him leave, not saying a word as he left, only closing your eyes and hoping for even another few moments of rest.

-

The next time you summoned, it was June and you hadn't summoned in a year. You were sitting in Kaz's office, the window open as you discussed heist plans with him, Jesper, Inej, and the rest of the crows.

The heat was growing unbearable, so you willed a strong breeze to flow gently through the room, making the area feel a bit colder, much to everyones delight. Kaz shot you a look because Ketterdam in the summer was not prone to breezes on humid days like that one, and you felt some of the energy that was long gone move back into your system, a spark of joy and pride at your small science lighting up in your chest.

You allowed yourself a small smile as you leaned back in the chair you'd occupied.

You were still sick, still frail and tired and coffee-reliant, but you were getting back to normal. You decided, in the moment, that that was what mattered.

[sl-vega]

✧xingqiu's victims friends✧

THIS SERIES IS CANCELLED: announcement about its cancellation

THE SERIES REVAMP IS HERE

✧xingqiu✧-a creative writing major with a minor in literature, second born son of the CEO of Feiyun Corp. discovered his love and reading and writing at a young age. when he was 10 he wrote a fanfic as a joke but to his surprise it went viral. he forgot the account's password so he never got around to deleting it. comes off as an absolute gentleman, but he's actually a bit of a gremlin.

"me? putting chili powder into chongyun's food? what baseless accusations are these-okay fine, i did, but how else is he supposed to survive living with xiangling?-"

✧xiangling✧-attends a culinary school nearby teyvat university. she does the cooking but not cleaning for all her roommates. she has a pet dog named guoba, and her father owns a famous restaurant. she's known for her weird sounding recipes, but they actually taste really good (except for the slime smoothies, that's an acquired taste)

"so we have jueyun chilis, fowl meat, now we just need some some slime secretations!"

✧chongyun✧-mythological studies major with a minor in theology. he went through a ghost hunting phase when he was younger, which turned into an interest in mythology and folklore as he got older. he met xingqiu in elementary school and they've been friends ever since (even though xingqiu constanly tries to sneak him spicy food)

"i know for a fact that xingqiu put jueyun chilis in that"

✧yanfei✧-a student at a law school nearby xiangling's culinary school. she's great at winning arguments/debates, and already has tons of internship offers from many different law firms. she has tons of rules/laws memorized just in case, and can apply them to any situation

"Ah, this weather's got me in the mood for reciting some laws. Let's see... "Commercial Law of Liyue," Chapter 27, Section 6, Article 3 stipulates that— Wait, what was it...? Oh my goodness, I've completely forgotten! What is wrong with me today...?"

✧hu tao✧-forensics science major, and her family owns a funeral parlor (frequently advertises it, telling people that she can hook them up with a free coffin). a bit eccentric, but she means well. she's also a horror and true crime fanatic (criminal minds, forensic files etc.)

"YOU! YES YOU! what if i told you, that if you plan with wangsheng funeral parlor today you can get a discount on your future coffin!"

✧gaming✧-dance major, and a part time uber driver and the designated driver for every outing with his friends. he's the type of driver that talks a ton to his passenger, but he'll shut up if needed. most of his passengers mispronounce his name upon pick up, and he's very used to jokes about his name.

"hi i'll be your driver for today-hm? yes, my name is actually gaming"

additional notes:

-everyone is in their sophmore (second year) of university (19-20)

-everyone in xingqiu's friend group lives off campus together

-yanfei doesn't attend teyvat university, she is in her second year of law school at oratrice mecanique d'analyse cardinale

-xiangling attends a culinary school nearby oratrice and teyvat university

-xingqiu's a wattpad author. fight me

✧Going off Script✧

synopsis:

Xingqiu's next major project requires him to write a romantic short story, the only problem is that he has zero romantic experience. meanwhile, you just found out that your boyfriend cheated on you, and you need to show him that you're 100% over him, the only problem is that there's no way you can get an actual boyfriend that quickly. clearly, the solution to both of your issues is to fake date each other. all you need to do is stick to the script

spoiler alert: you go off script and end up falling for him

masterlist

(CLOSED) taglist: @freyao7

[cinnamonest]

more thoughts on feral animal hybrid darlings please Lena 🥺 the wild fox darling with tighnari was so cute… I was imagining a scenario with Childe or Kazuha plucking hybrid darling out of the woods to take on their travels 🫣

I love writing these man, I don't normally do fluffy cutesy things but these are so soft and good for my soul, yet the "naive and unable to fully consent/easily manipulated" part gives it just enough of a dark touch so I don't combust into flames while making it. Writing hybrid posts is like eating warm soup on a cold day, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy, maybe I do have a soul after all

I actually would like to redo the boys in the original hybrid post, the very first one I did was so short I'd like to go back and make longer entries... So I'll start maybe doing that little by little.

I did do a wild girl one for Kazuha a while back in (the last hybrid post) (love our snek girl, our nope rope, our danger noodle) but for now I am redoing Childe and adding Itto, Dainsleif and Dottore (as this was requested by an ask I answered a bit ago), and a lengthy (entirely skippable so feel free to ignore it) rambling on lore at the beginning! >:3

//Basically enslavement of creatures, trafficking mentions, very naive hybrids, also needles for Dottore's

------

In terms of worldbuilding, there's varying social perceptions on owning various hybrids. People tend to be inclined to think of hybrids similarly to how they'd think of the actual animal to which they share traits with.

For example, hybrids of wild animals are thought to be best left to their own devices by most people. But due to their human features, there's a lot of debate and discourse as to whether or not they should be left alone, as some say they "belong in the wild," and that it's cruel or inhumane to take them out of their natural environments. Whereas on the other end, some would argue that it's best for them to be brought into captivity and kept as pets, seeing as it significantly increases the hybrid's lifespan due to being better protected from danger and more readily able to receive medical care.

But even for those who think they should be kept as pets, that raises the issue of how, for some of them. Some are notoriously aggressive, just like their fully inhuman counterparts. Some require very specific environments and care that is very expensive to emulate in captivity, and thus end up only being owned by wealthier individuals who like to show off owning exotic pets (unless someone who probably shouldn't have one and can't afford this special care keeps one anyway, in which case it may become a legal issue). Reptiles, for example, should only be kept in warm climates, although some resolve this by keeping their houses artificially warmed. There are large-sized red lamps available for reptilians as well.

Thus, different nations actually have different regulations on the matter. Some have laws prohibiting the ownership of certain types of hybrids that are considered to be "wild animals," deeming it akin to animal cruelty to take them out of their homes in nature. Some outlaw the ownership of hybrids deemed to be too dangerous to be kept in a human community, such as highly venomous snakes and spiders, or aggressive and strong hybrids such as bears or tigers. Several nations also outlaw the ownership of hybrids considered invasive species, who are dangerous to local wildlife, or hybrids who are simply not suited to the local climate and thus becoming deemed cruel to put them in an environment where they're miserable and uncomfortable.

Black markets still exist, though, for those people who just can't get over the thought of how neat it would be to own an "exotic" pet. Much like a normal universe with normal animals, these people tend to be young males in their teens or 20s who think it's cool or edgy since it's dangerous and illegal, and something they can show off. As you can imagine, this doesn't go over well with law enforcement. However, sometimes they then have to deal with the issue of it being harmful to the hybrid's mental health to take them away from their owner, so exceptions are made as long as they remain subject to regular check-ins... thus, illegal ownership can essentially be excused, and a lot of guys take the chance.

Hybrids, however, are held to a higher standard of care due to their human likeness. Whereas it would be considered acceptable in some climates to have an exclusively outdoor dog or cat (the actual animal, not hybrids), in most places it's illegal to leave hybrids outside for extended periods of time, especially overnight, and especially in particularly hot or cold climates. Hybrid neglect is a crime that carries high penalties, so it's very rare to see this actually occur, and is usually dealt with swiftly when concerned neighbors alert authorities.

Neglected or abused hybrids will be taken into custody of said authorities, and then placed into specifically designated shelters that re-home them, much like animals. It runs the same way it would for regular domestic pets as well -- people can come in, look around, pick one and leave, but only after signing a bunch of papers and performing background checks and the like. Hybrids can be expensive, considerably more so than pet animals. This, however, does help ensure that they go to good people who intend to take good care of them.

Obviously, due to their humanoid nature, hybrids are fetishized, lusted after and frequently taken as partners. It's not necessarily for everyone. Much like any kink or fetish, there will be some guys who are foaming at the mouth at the mere mention of it, and some guys who shrug and say they don't really see the appeal at all.

There's also an attitude held by some that it's kind of pathetic, you'll hear some guys mocking or teasing friends who have one -- couldn't get a normal girl to date you? It's viewed similarly to how a guy who isn't very successful with girls might hire escorts or buy a sex doll or the like.

The legality of hybrid partnership, however, is... messy. The argument against it is a moral issue. Sex slavery, purchasing spouses, and forced marriage are all illegal. How is purchasing a pet to be some kind of fleshlight-spouse any different? Hybrids are loyal by nature, they could also hypothetically be emotionally manipulated this way too.

Likewise, there's moral qualms about their nature as well, regarding the hybrid capacity for consent. Many hybrids are low IQ and highly manipulable and gullible in general, so some people take issue with it. That's not even taking into account the ones that can't speak, and especially the ones that can't understand human speech too.

However, due to overwhelming populace demand, it remains generally legal. In most nations, the final ruling is that partnership and physical relations are legal, but most places do not legally marry the two. Also, this is influenced by the fact that it's simply such a common and widespread thing to have hybrid partners by the era that their rights even come into question, means that outlawing it would be stripping thousands of hybrids from their owners and tearing long-lasting unions apart, which would be emotionally detrimental to the hybrids themselves. Basically, the consensus is simply: is it manipulating the hybrid's good, loyal nature and low IQ? Yes. But is it better than the emotional distress it would cause them to be removed from their owner? Also yes.

Thus, you need money and legal verification, and in many places, you need to register a hybrid for money. In some nations, it's perfectly legal to just bring in a hybrid you find out on the street and take them in, and in some nations it's not, and you need registration through local government establishments. This can also be species-dependent -- there's a pretty stark difference in how it would be seen as wholesome and kind to take in some poor dog or cat abandoned in the street, but frowned upon and potentially seen as a wrongdoing to drag in some wild creature you find on a hike.

Discourse also exists on black market exotic hybrid trappers, people who set traps to catch wild, non-domesticated hybrids that may often hurt the hybrid in the process. Traps like bear traps are gradually outlawed, so wire/rope net traps and cage traps are more common, but this still bothers a lot of people to think of the distress it causes.

Perhaps it feels a little cruel even to trappers themselves -- the poor things are obviously terrified when they come check the traps. Some are angrier, lashing out in an attempt to bite and scratch, others have a more human-like reaction, just huddling at the back of the cage or curling up in the net, sniffling and trembling with tears on their face. Usually they're scraped up or have rope burns from desperate attempts to escape, so that has to be dealt with too.

Wild hybrids don't speak, so unfortunately there's no way to communicate to them that they're not going to be killed and eaten. After a few hours, they stop crying so much, but they're still visibly afraid and make some rather pitiful noises. There's often issues with getting them to eat and drink, as they're wary of anything presented to them. Usually they simply get so hungry they're willing to eat food they're given, despite their caution, and realize it won't harm them. The general public isn't aware of how distressing this whole process is... probably for the better.

Other laws exist regarding what is cruel or humane, and the attitudes regarding this vary a lot depending on the general nation's consensus, and sometimes simply depending on who you're talking to.

Is it cruel to clip bird hybrid wings? To dock certain breeds' tails? Is it fair to require doggirls with a history of biting to be muzzled in public? If a hybrid vet isn't available, is it reasonable to take a hybrid to a human medical facility in the case of an emergency? Should it be required to keep them in portable crates on transportation such as trains? Should they have to be kept on leashes in public areas? Should venomous reptiles be allowed in public at all?

Similarly, some people have different ideas on what is appropriate regarding them depending on whether or not the individual being asked sees them as "animals with human characteristics," or "humans with animal characteristics." Every individual leans towards one view or the other. The former is more likely to see them as lessers, while the latter may question the morality of keeping them so subservient and controlled, even if they do depend on humans a lot.

Some people will also have negative perceptions of others based on what they own, and communities may set rules for specific individuals with their pets. Someone in the neighborhood thought it was a bright idea to own a raccoon girl, who has since terrorized the neighbors by sneaking out at night to rummage through trash -- and due to human weight and size, knocking plenty of bins over and all over the ground in the process. Now, although that one is permitted to stay, the local city board makes a rule against hybrids of non-domesticated animals. Similarly, even in nations where it's generally legal, specific areas with high populations of families and children may make regulations against aggressive or venomous species.

And finally, when dealing with the most intelligent of creatures, there is an issue of hybrid rights to be addressed.

Rarely, a few abnormal hybrids possess full human intellect. It's a case-by-case sort of thing, but most of the time, if they can prove this, they will eventually be granted full, normal rights. They usually prove themselves, and go on to live normal lives (some become war generals and botanists for example!). However, these are abnormalities, and hybrids are assumed to be "normal" (low intelligence) by default.

Hybrid intellect can vary greatly from one species to the next, and this has sparked a lot of discussion as to whether or not some hybrids should be regarded as deserving the same rights as a person.

At the Sumeru Akademiya in particular, there have been studies over the years that have produced a citable average IQ for different species, as well as other matters related to intellect and stability. They test things like short term memory, ability to solve different puzzles of different difficulty levels, ability to follow logical thought processes, and so on. They also test for dependency, trying to determine to what degree the hybrid depends on the owner to go about its daily life.

The speech capacity is obviously dependent on exposure -- wild animals have no speech capacity, dogs and cats can usually speak fluently, and others like cows and goats, as well as street-dwellers like raccoons or rats, etc have moderate speech capacities. Wild animals can be captured and taught to some extent, but it works similar to real-life cases of feral humans: their brains are fully developed and no longer have the elasticity to fully master language, so at most, they will learn some words and phrases, but never speak in full capacity. A lot of such hybrids may learn words like their master's name, words like "hungry" or "water" or "sleepy" to indicate their needs, names of others, times of day, a few common sentences, and other words like "yes/no", "please," "sorry," etc. They also will often pick up on the name assigned to them, but have a pattern of referring to themselves in third person using this name, rather than the use of "I."

Cats, for example, are very high on the list. Foxes and dogs were slightly below them, but still rather high. Dogs in particular showed high levels of dependency -- despite being rather intelligent, they often would interrupt the observing researchers performing the test to ask when they could go home, see their master and so on.

Bovines, sheep and pigs, however, are significantly lower, as were small mammal species. These were found to be incapable of solving complex puzzles, took more time to solve simple ones, struggled with short term memory, and many showed signs of high levels of distress as soon as they were taken to a separate room where they couldn't see their owner (who was watching, they allowed that, through one of those one-way glass panels on the side). The results for those were actually partially inconclusive, because they quickly learned that hybrids of these types would quickly become overwhelmed and confused by the task or puzzle before them and would start to whimper and tear up, shaking their heads and squeezing their eyes shut and stubbornly nn-mm!-ing when prompted to continue, refusing to carry on anymore and, thus proving the dependency aspect, start crying for their masters. They weren't so cruel as to deny them that, so they allowed them to quit early and be returned to the comfort of the familiarity of their owners -- to whom they would usually scamper over to as fast as possible.

On the bright side, the intelligent ones very quickly were able to, and all of them eventually able to, successfully complete the "put the shaped wooden blocks through the correct shape hole" test, which was the most basic one. However, the issues began when they reached numerical problems -- "if you have five and give two away, how many do you have left?" was mostly answered right (they were allowed to use their fingers to figure it out, which helped), but multiplication and division based problems were when some subspecies really began to struggle.

This leaves a bit of an ethical dilemma. The intellect varies so much that it seems unsafe to give the less intelligent ones rights, for the sake of their own well-being, whereas for more intelligent ones it seems cruel to deny them rights. And then the question becomes, where should the line be drawn?

The ultimate decision is that, for the sake of the more vulnerable ones, it's for the best to just make a sweeping judgement for their safety, even if it mean subjecting intelligent hybrids to subservience. So outside of the exceptions of highly intelligent individuals, the average species intelligence doesn't really matter, they'll just be subject to ownership anyway.

--------------------

Childe - beargirl

Whenever Ajax makes a trip back home, people often ask him to do all sorts of stuff. Can he fix this or that, fight off these bandits that are harassing a housing cluster, so on and so on. He was always running around doing tasks for locals in his tween years, and it just kind of stuck. Plus, due to being strong, a lot of the elderly in particular ask him out to help them with this or that.

Maybe it makes him feel a little used sometimes, but he likes to help, even if the matter is trivial.

On this most recent venture, according to the neighbors that approach him as soon as he sets foot in his hometown (after at least a brief hello how are you sort of thing, so they have some semblance of politeness), the matter is supposedly a menace of an animal stealing large amounts of fish out of fishery storages. Fishermen come in with their nets, dump a large amount into a vat, leave to get the next batch... only recently, to come back to a near-empty storage unit. Whatever it is, it's eating enough fish to feed an entire family.

But are you to be blamed? They're the ones dumb enough to just leave it all sitting there, unguarded, so you think. If they didn't want their fish eaten, they shouldn't have left it so easy to access. And if the humans really needed it, they would guard it better, so they must not really need it. And you leave some for them, too, you only eat a little over half to make sure they still have enough for themselves.

You still memorize their schedule, though, preferring to avoid direct confrontation, making sure you know around what time they'll be gone so you can come in undetected. Thus, it catches you off-guard when a human nonetheless enters the storage unit as you're chomping down mid-meal.

There's a few moments of quiet that pass as you both look each other up and down. You stare up at him. He looks down at you, where you sit on the ground, half a fish sticking out of your mouth. Round ears, a short little stump of a tail. You make a rough throaty noise.

It's adorable. Granted, this man would probably be able to pet an actual bear without a modicum of fear, but especially seeing as you're human-sized, it's even cuter. After a brief moment of wide-eyed surprise, you see a smirk of amusement form on his face.

It feels mocking. You glare. Your eyebrows furrow and your nose scrunches up, you stomp your way to stand up on your hind legs (or, as humans call them... legs), stretch your arms out for maximum intimidation, and ferociously growl.

He... puts his hand over his mouth, chortling, barely holding back laughter. You don't understand it, but he says something to you, before reaching out, patting the palm of his hand to the top of your head.

Your face suddenly feels very hot. That growl scares off all the small animals! Why is the human not afraid? You will be forced to engage in aggression to get him to go away, lest he try to steal from you. Summoning you maximum strength, growling still, you stomp forward, swinging your hand to thwack him in the side of the head.

But he catches your hand. Hold you firmly, shoves you down. You struggle against the human, but in a few seconds flat, he has you pinned to the ground, growling and snarling at him. A very strong human indeed. It does frighten you, but you're fairly certain humans don't eat creatures like yourself, right? You struggle and you squirm, you writhe and thrash, but soon the human has you all bound up, slinging you up over his shoulder and carrying you off as you growl and huff, a smile on his face. At least that's that taken care of. Who would have thought he'd get so lucky?

The problem is taken care of, sure, but if he just put you out in the woods, you'd just come right back. Normally, this would pose a very difficult-to-solve problem, but as he carries you back to the edge of the forest, he starts to think about this issue, and comes up with an alternate solution. Why not just... keep you? Yeah, that seems like a good idea. Why not? You're so cute, you'll make a great pet!

Of course, he knows people won't really take well to the thought of him keeping a whole bear. Some people will question the morality of the harbinger's actions. It's a wild animal, after all, is it really okay for him to take you away from your natural habitat like this?

However, the vast majority are more concerned with it being... you know, aggressive, strong, incapable of understanding speech, prone to biting and hitting, unfamiliar with human norms and unadjusted to society. But hey, none of that really matters when you have authority to get whatever unreasonable thing you want!

Similarly, some would argue that taking hybrids out of natural environments is unethical when you can't provide them with the food, environment, or temperature they need... but that's not really a problem when you're a high-status, high-power individual who can force a bunch of other people who have no other choice to inconvenience themselves so that you can provide for those needs. He sees no issue there, you can easily have you needs met.

But just look at you, where he has you set on the ground now all tied up, shuffling over to him and viciously gnawing his ankle (unaware you're biting into a boot and not flesh, but making a valiant effort to bite the limb off nonetheless). So cute. How could he just let you go? No, he can work this out. He sets aside the next few hours to go the specifics of his intentions with the first subordinates he comes across, the ones that accompanied him back here. Watching as their eyes go wide, a very uncomfortable look on their faces as they glance over at the growling creature he has in his arms, leaning back to avoid how you chomp your jaws down, craning your neck forward in an attempt to bite them.

One of them is daring enough to voice the obvious concern -- sir, maybe it would be best to let this one go and get something less... wild... and dangerous...?

Huh? Dangerous? Nah, she's just play-biting. She won't hurt anybody, see? He sits you upright, sits behind you, squishes your face in his hands. She's a softie, she's not really mean. You snarl and attempt to bite his hands as he speaks.

Besides, he adds, you'll live a much better life in captivity! You'll be happier and healthier. He's doing a good thing, really, an act of goodwill and compassion for this poor, poor creature. So, while he finishes up all the things he needed to get done on this trip home, he has them go ahead and carry you back to the lodgings to be taken onto the ship when he leaves tomorrow... you do bite directly into a subordinate's ear on the trip. Poor guy ends up with a permanent scar from the whole thing, but at least they got you to un-latch your jaw after several minutes of the guy screaming while they tried to pry your mouth open.

As it turns out, he was right, you're really no trouble at all to have, and keeping you here is a delight! At least, that's what Ajax himself says. The subordinates are less inclined to agree, but they do so verbally, at least.

You have to try to wear the clothes. You don't like them, sure, but it's kind of necessary. Have to start small and gradually make progress, buying a bulk of plain large shirts, gradually training you to not rip them apart via treat rewards for not doing so.

You eat a lot. Like, a lot. He's lucky to be so high in rank, or the Fatui would never agree to cover the costs of your eating needs. It's baffling. If you paid attention to your surroundings (you don't, but just if you did), you would often see the underlings watching you from a distance as you eat with some mix of surprise, bewilderment, and borderline horror as you consume ungodly amounts of food in a matter of seconds.

They have to go to the markets and purchase large amounts of imported fish -- specifically those, as you turn your nose up at local species. It has to be the fish you're familiar with, and yes, you can tell the difference, and yes, you will get angry and violent if you are presented with fish you do not like. You initially turn your nose up to cooked meats too, so they have to go out of their way to procure high quality raw fish and meat. Over time, they manage to get you conditioned and willing to eat cooked fish, so that's at least one small victory for them.

The most desired of treats, however, is raw honeycomb -- made the mistake of giving it to you once, and now you get grouchy when you can't have any, pawing and kneading at your master until you get some (or rather, until subordinates get you some). No, bottled honey is not good and you refuse to eat it, so they quickly discover. Has to have the comb and everything. This is rather expensive to buy, but you know, they have the funds, and if this is what they're commanded to spend it on, so be it... although they do get some odd looks from the poor market vendor when a bunch of guys in recognizable Fatui garb come to purchase everything last piece to be sold. And, of course, someone has to come after you to wipe the floor up after you inevitably spill some on the ground too... calling you a messy eater would be an understatement.

Also, they go to some rather insane extents to keep you cool. They managed to locate a lower rank grunt with a cryo vision, who has now, as per the title given to him by the other grunts who have all sort of group-bully the poor thing about it, become the unfortunate 'bear-sitter' for the harbinger. His job is quite literally to chill down your environment. They've brought in tub-sized containers of water, had them frozen, gotten someone else to crush it up with a hammer and let you -- with a very content expression, seemingly pleased -- rest in it until it melted, and repeated the process. This is not exactly how the poor guy expected the Fatui to make use of his vision, but hey, he's getting paid... at least that what he tells himself.

You're also, ah, kind of aggressive, especially if displeased by being too hot or lack of proper food. They sort of stiffen if they see your presence nearby. Despite being roughly human-sized, you have a lot of strength in those arms, and a good swat to the head will send someone straight into unconsciousness. You are, unfortunately, very aware of your strength, and have no reservations with using it at the slightest of inconveniences or irritation. This has led to a variety of various blunt-force injuries for various underlings. Ajax promises you're getting better with time, and besides, it's just minor stuff that'll heal with time.

However, despite your frequent aggresion, you're not at all unhappy. Sure, sometimes it gets uncomfortably warm, but other than that, you're living like a king!

You have no idea what's going on, but you've accepted it by now.

The humans bring you tray after tray of fish, and you get to lay around all day. Why do they serve you this way? You have no clue. But you're not complaining. Why were you brought out of the wild, why do you sleep in a human bed, what is the point of all these various noises the humans are constantly making with their mouths to each other? Who knows. None of it really matters anyway. You were very oppositional at first, attacked everyone who came near and refused to comply, but you've learned very quickly that this is a major improvement from sleeping outside in caves, drinking river water, having to worry about hunting for yourself. And the many masked humans are the ones serving you, so you have decided that for now, you will spare them, although you may reconsider eating them at a later date.

All you have to do is keep the clothes on your body and not wander off too far from the loud ginger human that brought you here, and as long as you do those things, everything remains tranquil and pleasing to you.

Said human, the one that found you and keeps you by his side, he is very strong. Coming across a human stronger than you was quite shocking, and you have some respect for it. It's why he's the one you don't attack, that you don't bite... at least eventually. You tried to bite him often at first, but he always grabs your jaw and forces it shut, holds your arms still so you can't swat him. No, bad. Bad girl, stop that. Over time, you learn these words mean to cease the behavior, and although you do not like being told what to do, you have little choice. For starters, the human is strong enough to restrain you, and secondly, if you continuously misbehave, he puts you into a large crate for an extended period of time with no snacks and no entertainment. This does give strong incentive to refrain from these behaviors, and you are given toys to chew on anyway, so you just bite those and pretend they are the humans.

But over time, you grow to have a sort of reverence for such strength, so you no longer want to attack him anyway.

More importantly, that means surely, this human is fit to protect you and any potential offspring. If you had to procreate with a human, this one would produce strong cubs. Your brain tells you that strength is good and that this human should be mated with. So for now, you decide to stay by his side and not hurt him.

Unless you're attacking him, though, you can do no wrong. He plays off everything you do like it's no big deal, like it's cute. Oh, you just slammed someone in the side of the head and knocked them out? Aw, someone's grumpy. You snatched some poor grunt's meal right out of his hand and ate it? Well, she can't help being hungry! You end up terrorizing, bullying, and attempt to eat that sheep hybrid that lives here too on a daily basis? Well he should keep a better eye on her, mine's just following instincts.

And then there was that time you quite literally bit a man's finger off, and it had to be reattached -- but not after quite the struggle getting you to give it up, but he was nice about that too. Come on, be good, spit it out. You eventually complied with this request, seeing as you had no way to explain that the human in question had been annoying you, so you supposed you'd be the better person here and give him the appendage back even if such graciousness is undeserved.

Said underlings still attempt to occasionally protest the whole thing. Couldn't he have picked, you know, maybe a normal one? Like... a dog? A cat? A rabbit? Something that only needs light maintenance and doesn't regularly gives people concussions?

Nah. He would hold your face from behind as if to display you, squishing your cheeks and saying something about how cute you are. So cute! She won't hurt anyone, see? You make a low rumbling noise in your throat, intensely glaring at the onlooker, who then by that point usually has taken a few steps back and is quickly trying to exit the conversation. Seeing that narrow-eyed look on your face, the way you bare those pointed teeth when you growl... it shuts down anyone trying to object to him having you pretty quickly.

In truth, he's aware of the effect, even if he pretends to be blissfully ignorant to why they suddenly scurry off. He finds people protesting your presence very annoying, so he has no qualms about scaring them away.

He's not lying when he calls it cute, though. Your growling and aggression is cute to him, in his own morbid little way.

-----------------

Dainsleif - Doggirl

Dainsleif has actually considered dog hybrid ownership on more than one occasion. It's more of a passing thought, though, the sort of what-if thought all people have every now and then, briefly imagining the possibility in his head. But he has no intention to ever actually go through with such a thing, no, it would be far too impractical for his circumstances, and unfair to the creature in question. It's just a pleasant concept, but not realistic.

Or maybe he could get an actual dog. Like, an animal, nothing humanoid about it, no having to deal with the awkwardness of the raised-eyebrow look of judgement and suspicion he knows he'd get from the sellers if he got a hybrid one. Single adult man with obvious distaste for interaction, purchasing a hybrid of all things... they'd think it was for nefarious purposes.

But he's certainly heavily considered the idea. He could get one of those big hunting dog types. Granted, an actual animal would work, but it would be kind of nice to have something that could communicate back to him.

It would be useful for his somewhat nomadic, quest-driven lifestyle. He can't always afford the time to stop in cities and the like, but he's not the most skilled hunter out there. Having a dog that could sniff out and even chase down small animals, and hear upcoming enemies from a distance, would be very useful.

But it's just a thought he's entertained a few times. Not something he actually wants enough to act upon. It would be a hassle, you know? So while he's mulled over it a bit, it never goes beyond abstract thoughts, never into anything serious.

Instead, you sort of come to him.

Not that he's doing anything out of the ordinary to invoke your presence, no. Just traveling as usual, exploring a rural area on the outskirts of a more urban one, with the occasional homestead dotted here or there. A voice calls out of nowhere -- wait, wait! When he turns to face the source of the sound, he can see you from a distance, running up to him, clearly intending to approach him for some reason. He pauses, waits for you to come up.

You seem to be one of those little... yappy dogs.

See, much like with animals in general, for various dog hybrids, the personality and breed are correlated. You're one of those tiny fluffy dogs, where the actual dog you share half your DNA with would fit in a handbag or the like. Those breeds that are made solely for the purpose of being luxury pets with poor athletic and endurance abilities. Your tail is shaped like a pom-pom, more fluff than tail itself. Your ears are disproportionately huge to your head, and equally covered in silky fluff. They bounce with each little step you take as you run up to him, eyes tearful and voice strained with panic. He's the first person to have come by in some time, and likely no one else to help will come by any time soon, so you force yourself to be brave and implore for help from this man, even though he is quite scary-looking.

My master is sick.

Your ears flatten to your head. He has to refrain from sighing... he can't afford to be using up valuable time like this, you probably just need to go into town and get a doctor. Still, he can't bring himself to ignore you or refuse to help.

He does try, though. He opens his mouth and is just about to try and say that you need to go into town and get an actual doctor, and that he has places to be, but... then he looks you in the eye, sees your watery eyes and trembling lip and you look so scared and pitiful and... ugh. Curse him for having a soft side. Fine. He takes a deep breath, asks you to take him in and he'll try his best to help you.

Thankfully, the reality of the situation doesn't hit him all at once and thereby catch him off-guard -- no, the moment you open the door into the main room, the smell that hits him is putrid enough that he's prepared for what he knows he's about to see when you pull the bedroom curtain back. Yeah... ugh, the body is at least several days old.  He feels a twinge of pity looking around the room, several cups of water and the like that you, in your confusion and concern, have brought over.

...You don't understand. You're looking up at him like you're waiting for him to do something to help. Your cognitive capacity isn't deep enough to grasp what's happening. Great... this is a very unpleasant situation to be stuck in.

He explains it to you slowly, but it dawns on you what he's leading up to as he's trying to explain. Your eyes water up. No! He's fine, he's just sick... he was sick and coughing until a few days ago...

He stays for a few hours. You keep trying to desperately nudge the body, now distraught and whimpering. He can't bring himself to just up and leave, so he watches as you do so, repetitively insisting the man is fine, until finally, after a few hours, you lower down onto the ground, pull your knees up to your chest and wrap your arms around them, and bury your face into your arms, shivering and sniffling, ears flattened to your head.

He can be cold, but he's not heartless. He feels a lot of pity, watching you as you accept the matter. What is he supposed to do now? He can't just leave you here, not in good conscience... you'll probably die on your own.

He's quiet for a long time, deep in thought. It's well into the evening when he finally speaks again.

You can't stay here. I'll take you somewhere safe.

You refuse, shaking your head. He has to reason with you. Tell you that you'll be all alone, that you'll be in danger of attackers and predators, that you're going to starve or get sick. Eventually, after a lot of trying to get through to you, you reluctantly agree.

Well, that's good. It won't be a big deal, he thinks to himself. He can just... take you to the nearest town, drop you off at a shelter. You'll be much better off than you would be left alone here. You're not made for hunting or anything, you'll certainly starve to death or worse if he were to let you stay by yourself. He's doing a good thing. It won't be much time at all. You'll be taken care of, and in fact, giving you up to a shelter is probably even better than the life you were living out here. He can't help but wonder why some old man had you out here, living alone... ugh.

In the morning, he sets off, letting you trail behind him. Takes you all the way into the nearest big city. Your eyes are full of wonder, mouth hanging open as you take in all the sights and sounds of a bustling urban area. It's rather cute, but he has to get you to hold his hand so you don't go running off. He ends up finding the place, but... well, he doesn't like the look of the local shelter. Big grey slab, looks very uninviting and cold, seems overcrowded, and something about it just makes him feel... off. He can't bring himself to leave you at a place like this. They're probably too overcrowded to take care of you properly. He can't do that, the guilt would eat away at him.

Next town, maybe. You'll have to accompany him a while longer, he tells you, sorry. You don't seem to mind. You barely hear him, too distracted by everything going on around you until you exit and return to the beaten path. And thus begins what he assumes will be a very brief journey together.

It does occur to him that, after so much idle thought about getting one, it's kind of ironic that a dog hybrid fell into his hands by complete chance anyway. Of course, having you is not what he imagined when he used to think about acquiring a dog. He was envisioning a hybrid that could, you know, sort of rough the wilderness with him. Instead, he soon finds that you end up essentially making his life even harder, posing a burden at every conceivable opportunity.

His teleportative capabilities can only do so much, so he does have to travel by foot quite a bit... but you struggle to keep up.

Noooo, you whine, you don't want to cross the stream because your tail will get wet. He ends up having to make two trips across the water, the first to carry you, your legs wrapped around his waist and arms around his neck (your little pom-pom tail stiff and twitching all the while), then the second to go back and get the things he was carrying. He has to make much more frequent stops, as your feet begin to hurt, and you get hungry rather frequently (and, as it turns out, are a bit picky too).

Granted, you can fulfill the functions he originally considered a dog hybrid for. You can sniff out small animals... except you don't really chase them, just go ballistic at the sight and yap at them as they run up the trees and out of range, scaring away anything nearby. Not to mention, your scent tends to lure predators... and even worse, you attack predators.

See, much like any small dog, you have this odd duality where it seems your brain fails to process that you are, in fact, not a large and deadly animal, and thus you feel the need to attack almost everything, regardless of how many times your size and strength they are. Tigers, sumpter beasts, lawachurls. It's an instinct, too, you'll just be walking or resting until your ears suddenly perk up, your pupils go huge and you bolt off before he can stop you. The creatures often don't see you at first, they just hear a high-pitched yapping sound, turn their heads all around only to finally notice you when you bite their heels. Thankfully, up to now, every single time he's managed to come right behind you, running after you and calling out to you, snatching you up just before you were about to get crushed, impaled, or chomped on. Traveling through Sumeru, you were nearly swallowed up by those tigers what, eight times? It didn't help that, since your brain registered them as cats, your instinct was instead to lunge at them.

In fact, you can't help but yap at enemies even from a distance, thereby drawing enemies that would have otherwise let you pass unnoticed and luring them into combat for him to fight off -- all while ensuring your safety, since, despite your incessant yapping and growling at the sight of them, once they start swinging at you, you curl up into a fetal position and whimper, tail between your legs, crying for him to make them go away. In addition to these safety concerns, you have a tendency to eat whatever you may find, various berries and plants that you swallow up when he has his head turned, often resulting in you getting very sick and him having to care for you as you recover.

You struggle with his name. Mister Day-nz-leeeeev. Too weird of a word for your doggie brain. You settle for Mister, as you call all unfamiliar men, but as time goes on you swap out a vowel, and he sort of just comes to the realization one day when you say it that you've been calling him Master for a while now.

He clenches his jaw. That's not right. That sounds too... permanent. He's still going to drop you off somewhere, you know, he just needs to find a place first.

...He does need to do that, right? He can't just...

No. No, he can't keep you. He chastises himself for even letting the thought cross his mind for a split second. His journey is far too dangerous, and his own future too uncertain to commit to such a thing. It's a non-option.

But the next town also doesn't have a very inviting-looking shelter. He can't leave you here. No, it looks cold and sad and not a place he can feel unworried about leaving you in.

What if the people are neglectful? What if they don't feed you? They'll probably not give you the same amount of focused attention as he does, they're busy taking care of tons of creatures. They won't know you only like this food made this way, that you need these certain conditions to sleep, all the little specific needs you have that he's learned with time. There's no way he can leave you here. He'll have to find someplace else. Surely, soon he'll find somewhere he can leave you.

Each night, now, he runs fingers through your ears and tail, checking to make sure you didn't get any ticks on you with those huge fluffy ears. So soft... but he ends up retracting his hands. He grinds his teeth and moves away from you. Can't afford to get too attached, and he tells himself it would be taking advantage of your naivete to touch you too much in a way that you, too, might get attached.

He ends up not having much of a choice, though. You end up having an… incident. He gets flustered thinking about it at any point afterwards. About a month in, laying there one night trying to go to sleep, you get all… whimper-y. You shuffle over to him and start… wrapping your legs around his leg and… grinding forward… little canine whines, you whimper that you feel hot and weird. Oh. Great. How is he supposed to handle this? It’s the most awkward few minutes of his life.

This man is not exactly the best at dealing with embarrassing subjects, he pretty much just goes red in the face and nearly stammers as he speaks, tells you to just calm down and… and uh… well, he ends up basically just letting you do it. Watching with wide eyes and heavy breath, giving you comforting rubs on your head and neck until you finally shudder and go still, and, thankfully for him so he doesn’t have to deal with unbearable shame, nearly immediately fall asleep – but not before snuggling up to him, wrapping your arms around him. He has trouble falling asleep that night.

He tries not to speak about it from then on out, and thankfully, you seem to not find it strange or shameful at all, not even acknowledging it the next day or ever again. He just resolves to maybe try and forget the matter. He almost, almost finds himself thinking something along the lines of what he can do to help you next time, almost starts thinking through and imagining it in his head, but he stops himself.

No. There is no next time. He'll have found you a better place to stay by then. Maybe those shelters will be able to medicate you or something to prevent this. Yeah, they'll be able to take care of it better than he can.

For now, he'll just have to keep you with him and worry about everything else, such as keeping you safe. He's afraid of failing in that task, though. Always checking up on you.

There's one incident where it comes far too close.

He really, really doesn't mean it. You were being whiny again, complaining you don't want to keep walking, that you don't want to take this route because it's muddy or cold. He's irritated, he speaks without thinking.

Do you realize how much more difficult you make things for me?

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he regrets it. He didn't mean to say something so cruel... he opens his mouth to apologize, but can't find the words.

Oh, no. Your ears tilt back, your little eyes water up and you start to sniffle. Yeah... now he feels really bad.

Agh... hey, he didn't mean that, just... just go to bed for now, okay? He's just frustrated. It'll be better tomorrow. You both need some sleep. You agree to that, sadly curling up into a ball, facing away from him.

As bad as he feels, the situation takes a turn for the worse when he wakes up to find your sleeping bag empty.

He immediately panics. Dammit. You must have run off. Surely nothing took you away, right? He would have heard that.

Yes, sure enough, there's your footprints on the ground. Unfortunately, they cut off only a few feet away.

He scours the area for hours. Calling out to you, doing everything in his power to hunt you down. Checking under every crevice, behind every tree. Eventually, he swallows the dread and checks beside the nearby river, the only place he's hoping to not find you, as he knows it would likely be in the form of your body washed up on the side bank. But still nothing. He makes several rounds around the area. How far could you have gone?

It's not until he finally resolves to go back to where you two had been sleeping and see if maybe you decided to return there, that he hears a whimpering. Coming from... up?

He tilts his head upward. You're up in the branches, curled up. It's an overwhelming feeling of relief.

So much so that even in that moment, he realizes just how much importance he's staked on you. He's fully aware, and isn't the type to push thoughts away or lie to himself. He has to acknowledge the realization in that moment that he's grown so attached to you that the thought of something having happened to you is the greatest panic he's felt in ages, decades even.

You open your eyes when he calls out for you, you're all trembling and sniffling. You say you climbed up to escape a monster that was chasing you. But being a canine, and not a feline, you're not exactly adept at climbing up or down, and now you're stuck, too afraid to attempt to come back down.

But when he tells you to come down, that he'll catch you, you shake your head, ears facing back, puff your cheeks out.

No! You don't even want me! You want me to go away, so I'm gonna go somewhere else!

He sighs. It's petulant, stubborn. You're being childish, and he knows that. But he can't help but feel guilty.

No, I...

He has to pause for a moment. Never been too good with words.

He says he's sorry. That he didn't mean it. That he wants you to stay with him, that he cares about you and wants you by his side.

If I didn't care for you, I wouldn't have bothered looking for you, would I? So... come on, just come down...

Your ears twitch.

Promise?

He gives a long sigh.

Yes, I promise. Come on, I'll catch you.

He holds his arms up and open. You hesitate a moment longer, pausing to wipe your face from all the crying you were doing before.

And finally, after a moment, you leap off, landing directly into his arms. The force is a bit much, and he actually goes stumbling backwards, landing flat on his back. At least it provides a cushion to you, though.

You both lay there for a moment. You feel him take a deep breath in and out. He reaches up to stroke the top of your head. You lay your face down against his chest.

In truth, he's rather worried about the future, if he gets into any serious danger while pursuing his quite powerful enemies... and even so, he also thinks about the fact that your lifespan is limited. He doesn't like that thought. Perhaps he was intentionally trying to avoid growing attached to you for that reason. It makes him feel like there's a knot in his stomach.

But when he tilts his head down to look at you, sees the content expression on your face as you nuzzle your face into his chest, sees your fluff tail moving back and forth... he decides that whatever inevitable pain the future may hold, maybe he can allow himself to indulge in this happiness for now, even if but for what is to him the blink of an eye.

--------------------

Itto - Cowgirl

"Cow" almost feels like an inaccurate description; it invokes too much imagery of a soft, gentle giant sort of animal, peacefully gnawing at grass in a field, rather than the more accurate portrayal of the utter horned, mooing demon that the actual you embodies.

Aggressive and high-strung, and very territorial, it's a fairly common problem with your specific breed. Your cow ears and wiry tail are always twitching with irritation.

And it is for that reason that you find yourself alone on a path in the Inazuman wilderness. This one's too feisty. So they said, you understood that even with a very limited vocabulary and understanding of speech. Didn't bother to try selling you off, since it your aggression was obvious enough no one would accept, so they just dumped you out here on the road, far away and unable to attack the rest of the hybrid herd. You find yourself huffing, stomping around as you navigate the wilderness. Nothing better to do, so you might as well try and find somewhere to go from here. You're rather irked about the whole thing, though. You were never that bad. They were overreacting.

How rude, to just abandon you out here. You're mad. You decide that the next human you see is getting a set of horns directly in their stomach.

Which doesn't take long. You were dropped off somewhat close to the nearby city, along the pathway. Not even half an hour has passed before you cross paths with a human, a very loud one, walks very heavily.

He does take notice of you, though, pausing in his steps. Says something to you you don't understand -- what are you doing out here? -- with a big smile. Seems to find you quite amusing, strolls right over and past the top of your head, laughing about something or another.

How bothersome. You huff a heavy breath, pawing your foot into the ground in a warning gesture. The golden ring through your nose moves with your huffing. He doesn't seemed fazed by it, still more amused than anything, and thus, you have no choice but to take a few steps back, tilt your head down, and lunge forward. Hopefully you'll skewer him.

You're met with a harsh resistance, stopped so firmly the sudden force to your head makes a dull ache in your skull.

Woah, woah, slow down there, uh....

It takes you a few seconds to process that he's holding you still by the horns, one hand gripped around each one. Humans are generally quite weak, and easily knocked over. This one, however, is holding you perfectly still, and he's not even tense, nor planting his feet apart in a stance to ground himself, no, just sort of standing there in a relaxed stance, looking down at you with an inquisitive, but very unbothered and unstrained expression, as if restraining you is not causing him to exert any real effort or strength.

Woah, you're really trying to get me huh. Haha.

He's laughing at you. Not maliciously, more amused, but it makes you feel a tight knot of embarrassment in your chest nonetheless.

After a moment of aggressive thrashing from you, though, shoving yourself forward with as much force as you can muster, you feel your feet leave the ground. You go up, and then, you go down. Your back slams into the ground.

The blow leaves you dizzy. Your vision is spinning, you're flat on your back staring up at the sky, blinking, wide-eyed with shock.

Oh, uh... didn't mean to throw you that hard.... you alright?

You sit up, but you're swaying from side to side pretty badly, jaw hanging open.... whoops. He was just trying to get you to calm down, swear, didn't mean to make you hit your head. Well, never fear, you're in good hands! So, you know, no need to go running off to your owner and getting someone mad at him...

Actually... where is your owner? Hm... you don't have anything on you but basically rags, no collar or anything. And there's no houses or fencing nearby. Oh, you don't have an owner, you must be wild. That's good, that means no one can come after him and get him charged with hybrid assault or something -- or, ah, good because he just doesn't have to explain that you're definitely not actually hurt at all and that you just fell over is all. Uh... what's got you so aggressive though? He was just trying to pet you...

Oh! You probably have something wrong you need help with! He's heard plenty of stories like that before, some wild hybrid or animal will approach a human and try to communicate some need, try to get help from a higher species. And animals get aggressive when they're in pain right? Maybe you're really hurt. Well, no worries, you've come to the right person. Good thing too, you could've ended up coming across a really bad person instead. You were smart to come to him for help! You clearly knew a capable person when you saw one.

Thus, he lugs you all the way to the nearby main part of the city, full of humans -- all of whom give you a wide berth, eyes widening as they watch your thrashing and hear your aggressive bellowing.

Thankfully, he has just enough mora to cover a hybrid vet visit, and is willing to spend it on you. It's the right thing to do, y'know? Act of goodwill and all that to help some poor animal, probably gonna give him good karma and all that.

A quick examination, however, concludes you have no problems. Found in the wilderness, hm... Well, no tags means they can't track down an owner... Unless you want to keep this one, we'll take it to a shelter....

The decision only takes a matter of seconds. It's like one of those divine signs of fate! You're clearly meant to come with him. You have the horns, it's basically predestined, a sign from Celestia or something. It wouldn't be right to ignore that. You'll be like a mascot! Yeah, that'll work.

You still thrash quite a bit as you're carried off again, but he doesn't seem to notice. He's too busy talking about how you're going to be right at home and really get along with everyone or something like that. You only know a few human words, so you're pretty much lost on anything he's saying.

Even after arriving at what appears to be your new "home," you are not entirely certain why you'd been dragged away, and you're quite confused and afraid. After a few minutes of observation, though, you come to an important realization that you did not look closely enough until now. The one who has brought you here is another hybrid, not a human. He possesses horns, which means he is clearly one of your own kind, you were acquainted with plenty of bull hybrids in your herd days. You were mistaken to think of him as human.

However, he has human ears, and has no tail. What kind of bull has no tail? Maybe his was ripped off somehow. That doesn't explain the human ears though... maybe he's some genetic mishap and got the wrong ears. And how did a bull manage to master human speech? More importantly, why form one's herd out of humans? The others here have no horns, nor any sign of animal blood. That seems rather nonsensical. None of it make sense to you.

But as a herd animal (even if not a very peaceful one), you have an instinct to be around others of your own kind. This one and Ushi are likely the only ones of your own kind you'll find for quite some time, you have an urge to stay with them, and really, the thought of being out there alone again is a bit frightening. So even if they already get on your nerves quite a bit, you resolve to stay right here. It's not like you have anywhere else to go, and you quickly realize that they intend to give you free food, which is a major plus.

In fact, you get adjusted rather quickly. After your initial thrashing when you were carried here, you pose no more real resistance to the setup itself, which is taken as a sign that you have accepted your belonging here. Well, you do protest the cowbell that gets put around your neck on the second day of your stay, disliking the sound and weight, but it proves impossible to pull off with your mere pawing at it. Perhaps if you were a bit smarter and capable of using your thumbs in complex ways, you might be able to remove it, but unfortunately all you can think to do is tug on it, which proves futile, and thus you grow used to it. This way everyone can keep an eye on you, make sure you don't go wandering off.

The humans this bull lives with, however, are wary of you. It doesn't help that your initial reaction to them is to huff and jerk your head in an attempt to stab them.

But he doesn't get mad. You're just getting adjusted is all! That's actually your way of greeting, it's playful! You're not trying to hurt anybody, so he says. Still, after a couple of incidents leaving point-tip scars on the appendages of other members, you have the horns shaved and sanded down to dull ends (quite the ordeal, as it took essentially the entire gang to hold you down and complete the process). Though bitter about it for some time, you eventually accepted this, and gradually became less prone to attack in general.

You are now considered the gang co-mascot and group representative. Your role as representative is to... represent. Exist. You don't really have any responsibilities except to be present at major functions and sit there.

That being said, it is a vital function and nothing important can be done without your presence. You are consulted for important decisions (What do you think?, he asks, and when you grunt or flick your ears, see, she thinks it's a good idea!), and no important decision can be made without your supposed opinion (Hang on, we have to consult the representative...). It has been argued by some that this is not necessary (and perhaps that you aren't even aware of what's being said or what's going on in the first place), but after getting into said argument on a variety of occasions and losing to sheer stubbornness every single time, the other members have come to acknowledge the significance of your say in things.

You also get a vote in any major decisions. With your inability to form and limited understanding of human words, however, your vote is automatically determined to align with his vote, thus often swaying the vote in his favor (it does not help that,  as leader, he already gets two votes anyway...).

Much like your general "opinions," this has been protested by other members a couple of times, but it is argued that you deserve to have your opinion heard as a vital and irreplaceable gang member, and since you can't voice your opinion, the responsibility falls upon him to correctly interpret your gestures to the vote you're trying to communicate. Who else knows you well enough to interpret you? Exactly. You're uncertain of what it means when the humans talk back and forth a bunch and then turn to you as if expecting something, but as soon as you give any sort of sound or gesture, that seems to be satisfactory to continue, so you don't mind it.

You're given an outfit color-matching to your owner's, once again for the purpose of matching the gang's "vibes," whatever that may mean, and to be better recognizable as the token representative. Likewise, now, every couple of days, he paints your horns red so that you match, says something about it looking cool and another comment about the aforementioned matching of vibes. You have to be matching, since you're going to be going everywhere together and do everything together!

Well, he does have some necessary things to do that you can't come with him for. In those cases, the others can watch over you. But then again... they're all, you know, normal humans, and there's a chance you could slam them with those horns, make them lose their grip and run off...

Oh, Ushi would never run away. Why didn't he think about that until now? You two would probably get along really well too. You two are kind of the same thing, after all. He loops a rope between the two of you, ties your necks together with a few spare feet of leeway between. See? Just like you. You'll get along well.

You turn towards this... creature, huffing air out of your nostrils, making a low, threatening sound in your throat. Likewise, he makes the same gestures of aggression right back to you, slowly starts to dig a hoof into the ground. After a few moments, you both put your heads down, lunging forward, horns clacking against each other.

Aw, see, you're friends already! Glad that worked out. He'll only be gone a few hours, so just play nice.

Your animal brain is just short of the competence required to understand how to untie a knot, so all you can do is struggle against the tie, but the other creature proves very heavy and prevents you from moving any distance by sitting down flat on the ground, very clearly not intending to move any time soon.

You huff, you moo. You tussle with each other, clonking horns again. The humans that remain to supervise watch on with wide-eyed concern, mumbling to themselves as to whether or not they should intervene, but none of them want to take the risk. Even though they're now very dull, your horns will leave quite the bruise if hit with enough force.

You try your best, but he doesn't budge. In fact, seemingly growing a bit irritated with your disruptions, he gives you a solid headbutt to the side, sending you flopping over. You stay down. Defeated and humiliated and exhausted, you only make a sad sound, resolving to rest on the ground.

...But now that you're not fighting anymore, Ushi seems to calm down as well. Sort of waddles over your way, plops down onto the ground beside you. You're very bitter towards him at first, but quickly find that he is warm and squishy and makes a great companion for napping on the ground in the sun. You're still pressed together by the time your owner returns.

Aw. Look at you two, getting along so well you sleep curled up next to each other like that. This was a good idea.

The days get easier from there on. You still get roped to Ushi daily, you don't mind it so much. You two have fun -- still clonking heads and tussling around, but now it's friendly and playful, with much less force, and when you both get tired you eat and rest together. It becomes a regular routine. Your life is carefree and easy, and the only times you're in any distress were the occasions where your owner was in jail for several consecutive days, but even that never lasts too long.

You think you will stay here, indefinitely, now. You have no real reason to try to run off, you're well-fed and cared for, and all of these humans and the other hybrid alike have become familiar to you, admittedly you are starting to think you might care for them, just a little.

And to be honest, bovine long-term memory isn't that great. Soon you find that your memories of any other life you had before are very fuzzy, you're almost uncertain if they were real or a dream. Soon, they'll fade away for good, and this life here will be all you've ever known anyway.

------------------

Dottore - ratgirl

Agencies can't always ensure hybrids go to good people.

They try. They do background checks, similarly to how someone would adopt a kid. They want to be sure the hybrid isn't going to be abused, neglected, or otherwise mistreated, and that for hybrids requiring special care, that the person in question has the means and finances to properly do so. Granted, they're aware that many people use hybrids for... self-gratification purposes, and everyone knows why single adult males are by far the largest consumer demographic for purchasing them, but plenty of hybrid owners who get hybrids to be domestic partners are still good to them.

But some agencies are lower quality, more shady, and some are just desperate to adopt out a specific hybrid. And plenty of individuals have no real record, positive or negative, to speak of, so it's easier to just not make a fuss and assume they're decent and hand the hybrid over. And, most notably, shelters and agencies are often quite eager to get rid of individual species considered... less desirable.

That's not what they tell you, though. You're just... very special! Sure, you watch plenty of dogs and cats and rabbits come and go within days, while you've been here for months... but it just takes a certain kind of person to take care of rats. The really nice caretaker lady says that maybe they're just afraid that the injuries mean you're aggressive, but she's certain that if someone takes time to look more closely, they'll see you're very nice. Besides, they can kindly explain to anyone who asks that it's not your fault. Poor thing, you heard one of the workers say to another, attacked by some wild animal... You don't remember it very well. You woke up here all bandaged up, and they took care of you, so these are good people, you assume.

You miss the other half of your tail, though. You don't know much about medicine, you thought it would grow back... but when they took the bandages off, only a stumpy half remains. You suppose you look a bit lopsided too, being able to see yourself in the glass well enough to see that one of your ears are all shredded up, with a chunk missing on each. Maybe the visitors just get confused and don't know what you are, or something.

Maybe they just don't notice you, since you're a bit quiet. They'll just... move you even closer to the front, make sure people notice you. You try to sit at the front of your pen to make sure people see you.

People have negative associations just because of the word, too. They're okay with mice hybrids, fawn over how cute they are, but even though you look very similar, they sort of make a face at the word rat. The workers just tell you it takes very special people to appreciate very special hybrids, and you'll find that person eventually.

"Eventually" takes a long time, but it does finally come. The workers that come in to get you seem to be in a good mood, so it must be something good.

They say you're in luck. Someone came in here very specifically seeking a rat, of all things. They go through the standard process. Take you out front, get you to the person that requested it... which happens to be more than one person. All wearing weird masks. They look very scary. But if they want you, then they must be good people too.

The worker stammers out something about explaining the obvious missing parts of you, but one of them interrupts her. That's fine. We were just told to get a rat.

No hesitation. Whips out the mora -- a hundred mora, specifically, far less than they charge for other hybrids -- and doesn't even give them the chance to ask if there's anything else needed before reaching over, picking you up, shoving you into a crate, and taking you outside.

You're very confused, but you maintain a good attitude. You're just grateful for them. You ask a lot of questions, but they aren't very keen on answering you. Eventually you come to understand you were bought for someone else, that they're supposed to take you to, so you wait patiently... a several-day trip, all the way to this large building. Full of the same masked people.

The man is one of them, but he looks a bit different. You're a bit nervous at first that he might not be okay with you, but he looks you up and down and gives a quick acknowledgement to the ones that brought you here, so he must be content. He stoops down to get a better look at you in the crate and smiles... but it almost feels a bit... sinister. It sends a shiver down your spine. You tell yourself you'll have to get over that feeling, this person is a good person because why else would he bother to bring you here?

He says you're going to help with something very important. That you get to help him with research. It's very honorable to be doing this. A privilege. So many people would gladly volunteer for it, but you get to do it because you're special and perfect for it. Isn't that nice?

Such a serious honor and responsibility makes you feel nervous, but proud. You're not exactly sure what you did to be selected, you don't question exactly what it was that makes you so ideal for it. But he said you were special. That it has to be you. It makes you feel happy.

It's not a lie. Rats are very similar to people, genetically. And they're weak and at the perfect level of being intelligent enough to study reactions, while being too stupid to understand what's going on. Not to mention, they're cheap, they're too weak to be dangerous if they lash out, and they're not very bright socially either. That's why they make such good test subjects.

Besides, acquiring full humans for these sort of tests would require unwilling subjects, which is much harder to work with as they tend to be uncooperative, and you have to dispose of human subjects to prevent them from causing problems.

But your nature makes you very compliant, eager to please and unable to understand the weight of what's going on. He's almost surprised that a few nice words was all you needed to hear to be on board with it. He already had a whole second speech planned to convince you you had some deadly disease that needed to be cured to scare you into compliance, but it seems that won't be necessary.

At first, that's all you really do, and thus begins your new life. Each day, he comes into the lab where your crate is, opens it and takes you out. Does a routine check-up on various vitals, treats you in a variety of ways, and then leaves, and you're back in the crate again. Usually this process happens twice a day, but if he's particularly busy he may come only once. He doesn't say too much to you, although he is always muttering to himself about something or another, you usually can't hear much. Master seems to be a rather eccentric person, you sense some of the underlings aren't particularly fond of working under him, seem to be a bit intimidated... but he's never outright mean to you, so that means he's a good person, you believe.

You're very timid, given how new and unfamiliar it all is, so you don't want to annoy him... thus, you mostly keep quiet, speak when spoken to, which isn't very often. You comply with all the instructions, you swallow everything you're supposed to. You don't fight the injections either, even if your instinct is to pull away, instead only giving a tiny squeak. You do the best you can. You occasionally ask questions about his work, but the answers you get are short and dismissive, so you quickly stop asking.

...But in truth, you find yourself growing increasingly sad. Other than these treatments, you spend most of the time locked in the tiny crate, in an empty, quiet room. He doesn't really talk to you besides commands and questions on how you feel from various experimental treatments. There's a certain coldness you're treated with. Not an intentional, forceful coldness, but rather more like being ignored, like he simply forgets your existence outside of the moments he's directly engaging with you, doesn't think to do anything more with you. He treats you with dismissal as soon as you're done with treatment, and even with your limited perception, you sense he doesn't really view you as anything beyond an object to be worked with. You're still very happy to see him, and you desperately hope that each day will be one of the days you get to see him twice, but... it wears you down.

It makes you question why he has you at all. It's not done with cruel intent, rather just lack of even crossing his mind, so you aren't too hurt, but... it does make you feel bad. Are you doing something wrong? You've seen plenty of hybrids that have masters that really love them, so why not you?

But, you suppose, they were different sorts of creatures. Maybe that's it. Maybe your kind just isn't supposed to receive that same kind of affection. The thought makes you feel sad.

Within a few months, you find that you stop feeling hungry. You stop feeling jittery when you're in the crate, and instead you often feel very tired. All you really want to do is sleep.

And you do. Your life becomes even emptier. You lay there and blink as you stare at the wall. You respond to questions with head motions rather than words. The medicines have less effect than ever, you feel perpetually numb.

This does not go unnoticed. At first, he thinks maybe something he gave you did it, writes it down as a potential effect of this or that, and carries on as usual. Must cause drowsiness or something.

Until, on one occasion, he's coming to bring you food as usual (you tell yourself you should be very grateful, he never forgets and always comes at the same time!), but notices that there's no need. Your food from last night is untouched. And while you used to perk up when he'd enter the room, he's noticed the past few days you just lay there, not even raising your head. Nothing you've been given recently should cause this behavior.

He tilts his head, looks at you with narrowed eyes. Casts a glance to your uneaten food in your bowl, your lethargic slouch. Didn't take this sort of depression into account. Sometimes it's hard to remember subjects are living beings and all that.

Which isn't a problem. It won't affect the research quality. You'll live, you'll eat eventually and as long as you're living and breathing, you continue to have some use. He doesn't say anything, just turns and heads back to the door.

And then pauses. Casts another glance back at you, laying all curled up on your side. You hear the pause in footsteps, feel the gaze on you, and you tilt your eyes up out of curiosity just enough to see, but your eyes dart away as you make eye contact. He's kind of scary to look in the eye like that. You go back to staring blankly at the floor, unmoving.

...It really doesn't matter, and he should have no qualms with just walking out the door, but...

...

You hear the footsteps come back in your direction. The sound of the crate unlocking and swinging open again. But this time, hands wrap under your armpits and pull you out.

You're a bit confused. It's not time for your daily treatment. You make a startled little sound as you're pulled out of the crate and up onto your feet.

He tells you you need to get some more sunlight and movement, so... for the time being, come with him and just don't cause a distraction. There's very important matters to be dealt with, so, stay very close and don't wander off either. And don't speak to anyone else.

You are overjoyed at the opportunity, letting out a particularly ear-piercing little squeak of excitement (he tenses up at the ringing in his ear, but does't bother to say anything). You've never been outside the lab since the day you came here. You do your best to stay still and quiet, trailing behind him as he goes about various tasks, talks to various people. He's a lot more animated and theatrical when talking to people, whereas he's usually more quiet and dismissive of conversation when focused on a task such as when he's dealing with you. It's sort of a new side to him... and is admittedly a bit scary.

He even asks you for some things, asks you to hand him this or that, and you happily oblige, the act making you feel very useful. Well, except you can't get things out of labeled containers, as you are quite illiterate, but otherwise you give it your all. Eventually, he has someone go through the various materials and tape colored strips of paper to the jars, so that you can now help fetch them when needed. In truth, getting you to get things often takes more time than if he were to just get them himself, but it gives you something to do, and it makes you happy.

You still have daily treatment, though. The medicines make you feel woozy and tired. You don't like the needles, you squeak when they go into your skin. You dread the one day every two weeks when you have to have blood taken out. It always makes you feel so tired, you shiver so much, some times you pass out for a while. But if it's necessary, you have no choice but to endure. Much to your appreciation, rather than just the tasteless processed feed, he starts to spend money on some seeds and other food to give you handfuls of as reward for your efforts.

Since he has to know if it's working, he has to ask questions. How does it feel?

Your answers are usually not positive. Tired. Dizzy. My stomach hurts. My head hurts. It burns.

But you can do it. As long as you are certain and reassured of one thing.

Did I do good?

As long as he says yes, you're content.

...At night, you go back in the crate. You can't move around much, can't stand and can only barely turn around, but there's plenty to ensure you're all set -- a rodent drip water bottle latched to the side for you to latch your mouth onto and drink from if needed. A thick layer of blankets. A few durable wooden blocks for you to chew on. You're grateful for the kind consideration. At the shelter, you would be left in the cold concrete pen with none of those things all night, and it made you sad oftentimes.  You feel more awake at night, so it's frustrating to be kept in such a tiny space during your most active hours, but you understand. You pass the time by chewing on your blocks.

You endure it, for his sake. You want to help. You want to be good and get the rewards and pats, you don't want to disappoint.

But a day does come that you get pushed over the edge. Lots of needles. The first one makes your stomach feel queasy. The second one makes your head hurt. You feel awful. It gets worse and worse as you swallow this or that, to test how they work together. Something gets attached to your head that feels heavy and just hurts worse. You're about to get another jab, but you can't handle anymore. You squeak.

No more...

You shiver and sniffle. You always try very hard to be good and strong and brave and endure it all, but it's become too much. Tears trail down your face, you shoulders wrack with tiny sobs.

There's a long pause. But you hear the materials clack as they're set back down.

Alright. It can wait.

He comes over to where you are, sits down for a moment, presses a hand to your forehead. Well, you're not sweating, which would be an indicator of a potential reaction that would require emergency intervention, so you'll just have to ride this one out and--

You take the opportunity of him sitting down on the table to shuffle over. You rest your head down on his thigh. You feel all your muscles go lax. You're very tired. He goes quiet when you set your head down.

All his stuff is over there, but even after finishing whatever he was writing down, he doesn't move. After some time passes, you feel fingers run through your scalp, over and over in a soft, gentle motion. You feel yourself drift off to sleep.

And when you wake up... he's still perfectly still. Seems rather bored, he's drumming his fingers against his thigh, but hasn't budged. When you stir, he flickers his gaze down to you. You've been asleep an hour now, he says. It should be over now, yes?

You squeak. You hate to think he sat still just to not wake you up, you feel guilty... but for some reason, something about that fact also feels good. You bolt upright, apologizing, saying he could have woken you up...

He pauses for a moment. It's almost as if your words catch him off-guard, as if that possibility is, for whatever reason, something that didn't even cross his mind. A few seconds pass. But then he just shrugs, muttering something.

It doesn't end, but you do feel that sometimes you're given less tests per day. A lot of it is being given a singular treatment of some kind before being tested in some way. When you asked, he says that yes, it's very helpful, that you've contributed a lot. You feel proud for that much. You carry your head a bit higher whenever you walk around with him during the day.

Granted, you have some inconveniences. You sort of... Detract from his image. He tends to have a bit of a dramatic flair to whatever he does, and enjoys getting reactions out of people, but it's a bit difficult for subordinates to take the theatrical monologuing very seriously when you're sitting there behind him with a blank expression, gnawing on whatever raw vegetable you've been most recently given to placate you for a few hours, occasional squeak and all.

Some of them do question why he allows for what seems so unnecessary, but people generally know better than to question him, and have generally accepted that he's just like that, with "just like that" meaning "weird," and it's accepted that that's not changing anytime soon and that it's not supposed to make any sense to them.

Also, the underlings are allowed to pet you, for a few seconds each, otherwise they're shooed away and told they're overstimulating you, and gods forbid anyone interfere with research quality. Most of them do take the opportunity though, you're just too cute to resist giving you headpats.

Oh, but you do have a tendency to be absent-minded with a particular short rodent attention span, so soon a hybrid harness and leash is acquired for you (think of how they make those child harnesses and leashes? Same idea). It's almost comical, to the various onlookers, to see you two come strolling through the building. While he has that sort of ominous, heavy presence about him, it's quite amusingly contrasted by you pattering away walking on the tile floors next to him, attached by a leash in his hand he pulls you around with. The lower ranks all admittedly find it hilarious though, snicker a bit when you two walk by.

You forget exactly when you stopped sleeping in the crate. He says it's not good for your joints, and you're fairly certain he said he'd get you a larger crate eventually, and you could sleep in his bed in the meantime, but so far the larger crate hasn't come yet. The first night you chew a hole through his sleeve in your sleep, though, so you do have to be given blocks to chew on as you sleep. You're more well-rested this way, and it makes you happier, healthier.

That's what he thinks to himself. It's producing more clear-cut results, having a healthy specimen and all... so it's okay if he cares a bit for you in general. It's rather inconvenient, but might as well roll with it now. Prolonged contact and interaction will cause some variants of attachment in anyone. He just has to ensure to watch over you well, and there will be no concerns as to whether or not any underlying attachment will cause problems.

Oh, and on that note, aside from now-rare occasions where you're locked in your crate while he takes care of things you can't be there for, he ensures you never leave his sight. Can't have you roaming the facility halls... don't want to risk that bastard's bear getting ahold of you... would not be good.

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

dc brainrot anon here to say something something that challengers pose but it’s jaydickate… you could fight over her orrrrrr learn to share 😇

spoil her with attention okAY BYEEEEE

No nope wait come back you can't just say that and dip hang on

also this wound up getting horny. under the cut it goes!

Just. Just debating if Dick is feeling Kate up while Jay kisses her, or if Jason is holding her while Dick is kissing her. Depends on Jay's self esteem levels (does he feel like an outsider or interloper because he doesn't think he's good enough). Because Dick sliding his hand between Kate's legs, his other hand around Kate's neck to keep her in place while Jason kisses her is making me chew wires. The LEVEL of trust that displays. Obviously meeting out of costume shows a level of trust but Dick can FEEL her PULSE against his palm.

Jason keeps getting distracted because that is SUCH a pretty tableau, Kate and Dick leaning into each other. Like kill people gorgeous because he doesn't know what else to do. It's the spicy version of cuteness aggression. Jason wants to tear apart anyone who has ever looked at Dick and Kate, who has ever seen this--except, no, they've never done this. This is all for him. Only him. They each belong to him and he will share them with each other and that's it.

Though, you know, i think Dick would go a little feral if Kate or Jason grabbed him by the throat. Is it a size kink thing? A competency kink? Yes. The size kink of it working in different directions for him with this. How did Kate even reach his neck. I think Jason would be kind of into getting put in a chokehold but not being grabbed by the throat. It's interesting because he does like being collared. They are all into seeing each other get manhandled by each other (though with Kate it's less shoving her around and more when one of them holds her STILL for fucks sake she's so bad at it. I think one time Jason pulls Kate to him after she's been up waaay too long, her back against his front, his forearm resting along her breastbone and his hand gently resting on her throat and he talks to her in a low soothing voice and accidentally talks her into subspace. Dick is the first to figure out what's happening and sits there and watches. does nothing to prevent it or inform anyone that's what's happening. It's, like, for science or something.)

You know, they all have size kinks in this relationship. It requires a little coordination to get grindy on Kate in a way that's good for her because of the height differences. Jason can and will hoist her up with his forearms under her thighs like he's a fucking chair so she can get her legs around Dick's waist. (The Boys are learning the benefits of teamwork! something something Kate wants to be degraded a little so they talk about sharing their toy)

This is impressive because while Kate is smaller than both of them which is not even HARD, she is not small because my personal headcanon is girl thicc. She THICCCCCCC because I said so

But anyway people generally don't hoist her around. Or they do, but they're all enhanced or mutants or mutates or straight up aliens. Clint has yeeted her before but that's about it for normal humans. They also have a weird hivemind connection sometimes so she can tell when he's about to toss her and can help. Whatever, the point is the boys manhandle her which is NOT something she just allows, partly because trauma and partly because it's not DIGNIFIED, she does actually need some of these people to respect her and being hauled about like a sack of potatoes does not help make that point. Dick and Jason recognizing it for the honor it is and take full advantage of it.

Thinking about That Jason Todd Pose as he directs Dick and Kate to put on a show for him (they were probably being obnoxious at a gala or trying to steal from Red Hood for god knows what reason). Will have them do fucknasty shit and write the most beautiful poetry about it, it's very confusing for Dick and Kate but they don't mind.

It's audience participation porn, basically.

I feel like Dick would try to "train" Jason how to fuck Kate right, like coaching him or something, get some of that Discowing/Robin dynamic going, probably trying to tap into some kind of trust or bond idk. but they don't realize they're doing so, this is different from how they normally objectify Kate. Like, they're talking about her like she's not there, ignoring her, but for real, not in a sexy way. They are arguing??!

Kate is like wow actually maybe neither of you get to fuck me. OR MAYBE A COMPETITION?? over who has the best technique. It winds up with Kate pegging them and they're fucked dumb making Kate go >:) I am the best

This cannot stand. The next day they work together (teamwork again!) to keep her cock drunk all day.

One of them goes "about last night..." and Kate is all yesssss with suggestive eyebrows. And then one of the boys says her technique could use some work. Kate squawking indignation she has NEVER had a complaint about her strap game ( definitely something they will revisit later when they don't have plans. Unfortunately this whole weekend is booked solid)

Dick: baby it's not that it was bad

Kate: *angery bird noises*

Jason: we just want to give you some pointers, sweets.

Kate: *angrier bird noises but begrudgingly listening because she wants to know how to make them feel even BETTER next time*

This is a TRICK, btw, "giving her pointers" turns into "a demonstration" turns into "a hands on demonstration" because, well-- here, if you feel it you'll know what they're talking about

its just them all day passing her back and forth. Tbh mostly edging her, they are VERY mean about it and if her brain wasn't leaking out her ears she would be planning retaliation. Unfortunately they are fucking her brainless.

Maybe don't be so cocky next time baby :(

instead of teaching each other how to fuck her they're teaching her how to fuck them. If she can't remember the finer points they will just have to do the lesson again. Oh no :(

....sorry if you wanted some deep emotional stuff.

[earlgreytea68]

Heaven, Iowa.. if ur willing/have the time! Would love to hear some thoughts 💜

I loooooove Heaven, Iowa. I know Pete says this is a song about drinking a screwtop bottle of wine and driving off a cliff, but this is a song about drinking a screwtop bottle of wine and being in love, and staying there, in your own little bubble. That's how I read this song. It's one of those classic FOB songs with classic Pete Wentz lyrics working on one level with a perfectly expected and stereotypical interpretation and simultaneously working on a whole other level that deepens and complicates the entire narrative of the song.

Okay, so, first, that opening line: 6 AM, Mulholland Drive, "Moonlight Sonata" and I. First of all, shut up, this is so evocative in so few syllables and it kills me. Second of all, as others have pointed out, it should grammatically be "Moonlight Sonata and me," probably, unless it's intended to be the beginning of a sentence, and that's actually how I read the whole first few lines, as cut-off sentences.

Moonlight Sonata and I --

(wait, hang on, let me try this again):

First movement, you and I and a screwtop bottle of wine --

The use of the pronoun "I" instead of "me" in those phrases implies the beginning of a sentence, but the end of the sentence never comes, you never hit a verb. To me, it's like the speaker is so full of feelings that they can't be articulated, he's speaking in snatches.

Also, "first movement" is so clever, hahaha, the first eleventy million times I listened to this song, I thought it was a clever Moonlight Sonata reference, you know, first movement of the Moonlight Sonata, and then I wrote that fic based on these lyrics and Pete's sitting in the car in the fic debating making the first move and I suddenly was like, "omg first movement," like, it can also be making the first move required, who makes it, you and I and a screwtop bottle of wine will help move things along. Ugh, he's so smart about such silly little things like that all the time.

ANYWAY, then you come to honestly the sexiest image on the whole album: "I've unspooled on the floor." Ugh Pete. This always makes me think of the whole meme about how bisexual people can't sit in chairs normally. Pete totally would just sprawl out on the floor while he drinks wine. (I often write Pete sitting on the floor on my fics and now you're going to notice that, now that I've said it.) Also, though, "unspooled" is just a great poetic word there, you have an exact image of falling-apart-ness and letting-go-ness that no other word would have achieved. It connotes the unraveling of something that is ordinarily tightly wound -- that is supposed to be tightly wound -- and the unraveling causes a special kind of tangled mess, but also a loose sense of release.

"I feel so A Star Is Born" is a lot, given the plot about discovering and encouraging an incredibly talented, younger singer by a person who's already kind of a big shot. So there's that. Also the fact that Pete when writing these lyrics was around the same age as the Bradley Cooper character in the film, which makes this line feel about wondering about reputational decline and artistic legacy (which Pete thinks a lot about in his lyrics, anyway, but never in quite as tragic terms as this). The "would you read my eulogy" line fits with that "Star Is Born" reference: I'm not worth it, but will you tell everyone good things about me when I'm gone? Which also connects to: Tell me when the party ends, will you still love who I am? WHICH ALSO, in the mythology of Fall Out Boy, is a weighted metaphor anyway. In Pete lyrics, the party is often life, with the afterlife taking the place of the afterparty, so this can be another death reference. But also, inevitably parties ending make you think about "Where Did the Party Go?," and so then this becomes a hiatus reference: "When everything is stripped away and it's just us, do you still love me then?"

"I will never ask you for anything except to dream sweet of me," is just a straight-up line from a love song, which is important, because to me this entire song is a love song, and that line betrays it so very clearly. The speaker is never, ever alone in this song, there is constantly a "you and I," someone to kiss his cheek, someone to read his eulogy, someone there after the party ends. (Even when there's not a someone, there's the Moonlight Sonata still with him, and I'll get to that later.)

The chorus is "Scar-crossed lovers." I've seen people talk about how emo and goth an image that is, and I get it. The "scar" reference seems like it makes it emo-er than the usual saying, which is "star-crossed." So on one level, sure, how Pete Wentz to turn the word "star" into "scar," of course, once an emo, always an emo, etc. But I actually think changing "star" to "scar" converts a hopeless saying into a hopeful one. Because "star-crossed lovers" means lovers who can't hold it together. The original star-crossed lovers were Romeo and Juliet. Certainly not a happy ending for them. But these in this song are not star-crossed lovers. They are scar-crossed. Scars are actually healing. They are the body's kintsugi, to use a reference from another song. If you've got a scar, sure, it means you've been through something, but what it really means is you got through it. You came out the other side and you healed. These are not lovers who can't get it together. These are lovers who came out on the other side of the apocalypse.

The same multi-layered meaning exists in the next line: "I'm checking myself out forever." Sure, on one level, this sounds negative: I am gone, I'm leaving. But the thing is: What is he leaving? It's actually not entirely clear. I don't think it's the relationship he's leaving. I think it's the rest of the world. And not in a bad and depressing way. He's like, "Look, I have found something real here. You see all this nonsense, all this chaos, all this drama? I am checking myself out of all of this forever." This goes nicely with the next line: "I'm saving this all for later," which can also be read on two levels, one being, "I'm checking out of this nonsense, I'll deal with it later, I'm staying in my bubble with my love." Another being, "I am here in this bubble with my love and I am going to remember every second of this." After all, "save for later" means something you want to make sure you return to. That line, "Here we are untouched forever" also supports a positive reading of the relationship. It could be read as, "Now we no longer exist, we are only enduring in my memory," but...nowhere in the song does that seem true of this relationship. The relationship is very present throughout the song. When he says "here we are untouched forever," I think he's talking about this bubble he's retreated into, away from the rest of the world.

And that reading goes into the second verse, too, where he refers to himself as being "gone like this." This could be read as really dark, given the Star Is Born reference. But it could also be read as: I have checked out of everything and I am holed up with my love and just everyone wait to see how much they're going to miss how much I was doing and holding together. "Talking to the mirror," (I am the invisible man...) -- "Half your life you've been hooked on death." This seems like an obvious reference to Pete Wentz's reputation, but it's in quotes, like he's quoting other people, like he's telling himself, reminding himself what people think of him. Because that's not who he is.

This last bit of the second verse is so fascinating to me. "Twice the dreams, but half the love, be careful what you bottle up, the chemistry is a mess it seems," these are all negative images and negative lines, warnings and self-recriminations. And then there's that unexpected "But me, I'm still a sunbeam." Patrick is usually the sun in Pete's lyrics, the sun is usually something outside of Pete. How shocking and strange for Pete to suddenly write that he's the sunbeam, and for Patrick to give it a melodic flourish to boot. That could be Patrick giving that to him: "Don't worry about your chemistry, you're definitely loved." BUT, it could also be Pete finally, finally internalizing what Patrick says to him all the time: "YOU'RE the sunbeam. It isn't me. It doesn't matter how you feel like you're too much, it doesn't matter how much you feel like you bottle up, it doesn't matter how much you feel like a mess, you're still amazing, you're still a sunbeam." Ugh, the amount of healing in this song. Scar-crossed, indeed. The bridge could be read as flipped, from Patrick's perspective, and that works, but, tbh, that bridge can also be read as Pete closing his eyes inside the bubble he's created with his love, and there's darkness in this, but the love's glow is right there, so soothing, leading him home, a beacon. When Pete closes his eyes and shuts the rest of the world out -- there, there's the glow, giving him that little shove he needs to keep going: Shake things up, see what comes down, write another album with me, send me some words, we've got this.

This song rises to unbelievable heights by the end of it, like, it is sonically overwhelming, but then it loops around to the same soft rhyme as the beginning, Patrick crooning once again. It begins and ends with the speaker and music. In the end, the thing that has always been there for them: the music.

Also, the fact that Moonlight Sonata is the reference is so interesting in the context of Patrick being the sun in Pete's lyrics. If Patrick is the sun, that makes Pete the moon, catching his reflected glory. Moonlight Sonata, indeed.

This song is full of yearning, but at no point do I feel sad for this guy. He's gonna be okay. His love is right there with him when the party ends.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

so much on Ficino & Plato & Sex

your daily Marsilio blogging continues, this time with the gentle reminder of the deep misogyny of most homoerotic anything in the medieval and early modern period (among other times as well).

At the same time, I appreciate Marsilio being like: Fuck this, we can do the Petrarchan model of Ideal Love too. Just watch me and Giovanni yearn for twenty years.

I do appreciate that in the whole of Ficino's writing he rarely, if ever, refers to sex between men as sinful. He uses terms of disgraceful, filthy, worthy of disgust, ugliness etc. but he uses those terms equally for heterosexual sex conducted for pleasure alone with no intention of making the babies. Corporality on the whole - in all its forms - is the problem. (And the contemporary medical hang-ups around the expulsion of semen aside.)

But it's still not sinful, it just makes it harder to climb the ladder of love to salvation. Some might think this a small thing (he still reads it as bad!) but there's a huge gulf of difference between a priest from 1478 saying X is disgraceful but never using the language of sin around it.

Granted, Ficino doesn't harp too much on sin in general. I would be very curious to go back in time, get him a little wine drunk, and ask him his actual, not-Church approved views.

Ficino loves trying to reconcile everything through Plato. Marsilio "What if We Applied Plato to This Situation??" Ficino.

The desire/beauty thing - you can just see his struggle in trying to make it all work and never quite succeeding. It's one of the many things he and Pico debated with great animation. Pico was anti-the physical desire part of Ficino's formula while Ficino believed salvation/finding Philosophic Truth (i.e., God) required it.

I do really love Ficino's broadly positive read on humanity. He always goes in with a: People Are Good approach to a situation.

I love this little caveats he gives in his writings. The bit: "Love, even when mixed with an inderior appetite [for sex], does not cease meanwhile to raise the soul as far as it is able."

Giovanni having a panic about the state of their souls as they lie about in the grass and Ficino thinking fast on how to assuage him. "Umm, look, this isn't ideal, and we really should try harder to resist. But ... uh... Love is Good. Right? Our Love is Good and holds no Evil, correct?'

Giovanni, 'Yes, that is correct.'

Ficino, 'Great, so because our Love is Good and our Souls naturally desire Truth and Love is always working to help raise our souls up to Truth - even when we uhhhhh slip up, shall we say--'

Giovanni, 'We purposefully went into a remote field to commit sodomy. This wasn't an accidental slip up, Marsilio. You even checked to make sure you had time enough after this to confess and seek absolution so you can say mass on Sunday.'

Ficino, 'Slipped up. Could have happened to anyone. Anyway, even when that happens Love is still raising our souls up as far as it is able. So what I'm saying is, don't worry about it.'

the knots this man will tie himself in to try and make it ok to accidentally, whoopsie daisy, sleep with men. That full quote from him on how homosexual consorting (sex, that is what he means quite literally) is part of spiritual procreation is really something else.

I also think the caveat he includes of "of course, naturally, when you're horny you should go to your wife to make sure you're doing sex Properly" is doing a lot of interesting work there.

"Giovanni and I loving each other is necessary for OUR PHYSICAL HEALTH OK??"

Technically, he's not wrong. In the sense that being able to openly and honestly love/be loved by who it is you desire - regardless their gender - is incredibly important to mental health which impacts physical health.

mess! mess! mess!

this is super interesting. That Ficino was attempting to figure out how to guide people through reciprocal love in a world where that wasn't normal to navigate.

All of Ficino's back and forth on sex, desire, beauty, love is just so telling of how much he wanted to resolve the issue and how knotted everything was for him (and he wasn't alone, obviously).

--

ok I'm done inundating everyone for now.

[lord-squiggletits]

NGL I think one of my least favorite "gotchas" that I see/get while critiquing stories is "so how would you fix it? oh so you don't have an idea of how to rewrite the story to make it better? oh so basically you're just complaining that you don't like it and don't have actual critique."

Buddy.

Sometimes the reason I don't have a "solution" to how the author should've rewritten their story to be better, is because I'm not privy to the author's thought process, what their alternate story ideas were, what they talked about with their editor, what they might've been forced to do by deadlines, or even what they might've thought they were writing towards at first but then later changed the trajectory of their story to be about something else.

It's all well and good for me to say something like, idk, "I think Character A should've gotten more narrative focus because their story could have helped fix XYZ Plot Hole," but it could very well be that the author never intended for Character A to be a prominent character (just a secondary or tertiary character). Maybe using Character A to solve one Plot Hole would've gone against the writer's plans because then it would open up a different plot hole for something else they had planned later in the story. If it's an ongoing story, maybe something I see as a "plot hole" is actually a deliberate mystery that the creator left open to write about later-- or maybe the plot hole is because there was a deadline crunch and the author had to drop a certain character/plot point/etc because they couldn't fit it into the story any more. Maybe having Character A be a more prominent part of the story is just based on MY personal tastes and what I would want to write in MY version of the story, but completely clashes with the characters/conflicts the author wanted to focus on.

Because yes, there are some story critiques that are as simple as "part A doesn't make sense, you could just fix it by doing B", but there are also some story critiques where suggesting a viable "solution" would require BEING the author or someone involved in the production of the story to understand what limitations or plans were involved in the selection of that flawed plot point. There are also some story critiques where even if there is a "problem" and my critique offers a "solution," there could be another "solution" or even dozens that do just as good of a job fixing the issue, but involve vastly different characters, plot ideas, so on and so forth.

Being a good critic isn't (just) about going "the story would've been better if X happened" because the story is ultimately in control of the author and their vision, and without knowing what the author's vision was (something that you almost exclusively know if you're 1. the author or 2. their beta reader), it's impossible to definitively say "this plot point should've been cut/[completely different thing] should've happened instead" because THAT is the point at which you're complaining, not critiquing. I would argue that in some cases, trying to "fix" a story yourself actually makes your critique worse, not better, because it ends up being a case of you simply imposing your artistic vision over the author's to say "I think it would've been better this way."

At least if you just say "this part of the story was flawed because XYZ" without saying "it should have been ABC instead", then you're stating your grievances with the story without being presumptuous enough to assume that YOUR version of the story would fit the author's original vision, or the constraints they were working under, or the other versions of the story that they were debating over at the time before ultimately settling on one version (even if flawed).

There's a point at which "this plot is flawed, that should've happened instead" is just fix-it fan fiction and not actual critique that could help the writer write their story in a way that fits their vision.

[silverskye13]

That xisuma fic was absolutely incredible! If you have any more specific headcanons about android!X I would love to hear them! The idea is amazing and you wrote it so well!

Hai-yo! I'm glad you liked the writing snippet! ^_^

Oh boy, headcanons. How dare you make me organize my thoughts! Let's see.

Android!X is a server that one day decided to stop running in the background. Where I think most of the hermits were "born" on a home world that they can return to, it's more like Xisuma goes into his own mind. Similarly, if someone were to plot a course in the universe to Xisuma's home world, they'd just end up standing in front of him. [I feel like this also means between seasons X just kinda floats like a spaceman in hyper sleep through the void, go you funky little robot go!]

His body is made of circuitry and nanobots? In a way that isn't in any way functional to real life. But it's like he's a beehive almost. He has a living, moving body, but it's built for finesse and life-like expression. That kind of detail needs constant maintenance, so he has a fleet of little drone nanobots constantly doing repairs.

On that note, I think metallic/cybernetic/redstone components don't respawn like organic matter does on death. If it takes damage, it has to be repaired. Hermits like Doc are only mildly hampered by this, since any time his mechanics break, only parts of him are out of commission. For X though, anything that doesn't kill him outright has to be repaired. His nanobots help this, especially with small bits of damage accrued throughout the day, but anything that does significant damage requires him to power down to focus on repair and rebuild, where his nanos can run rampant while he rests. [He's never not productive though. Normally he uses this time to catch up on writing memory transcripts and other general internal housekeeping.]

Android!X is functionally smart but because everything he's ever done has had to be coded, a lot of things slip between gaps in his logic. He's a very smart computer, but he's still a computer. Common sense things slip between the cracks because common sense on regular people is mostly pattern recognition and intuition. Xisuma's only intuition is something he's hand-written in a table in a file somewhere. If he's never had to write/code it, and it's unique enough to not show up in a basic dictionary/archive search, it's a blind spot for him. He can query and in a millisecond give you data facts about the deep dark and still forget that the clicking noise his thinking pattern makes would attract a Warden. This also means he sometimes has weird hang ups in social situations sometimes. Yeah sure, Etho and BDubs are having the same friendly debate from last week, but this time BDubs is 30% louder [possible difference in altercation severity?] and Etho is on hazardous ground [standing on scaffolding, increasing height, personal endangerment? Posturing? Intimidation technique?], which means this situation is actually totally different and he's never coded protocols for it. He's gotten pretty good at reading other people's reactions to gauge his own, but when he's alone, he sometimes has an error he's affectionately labeled a "social short circuit". Good thing they're all hermits and understand when he sometimes just... walks away from things.

Even X doesn't know where his emotions come from. He knows he can augment them [He has a database for complex feelings like "happy and also sad" and "lonely but content", as well as for tonally dissonant scenarios like "feel worried when Cleo says 'its fine'."] and he has on a handful of occasions been able to shut them down when he was too overwhelmed or in a tense situation. But he has no idea where the emotions originally came from, and his ability to control their intensity [and turning them off] is so non-existent it's nearly random.

Xisuma has been trying to code a way to feel pain for a long time. Most of the hermits think he's crazy when he talks about it, but he thinks it would cut back on a lot of his time spent on damage assessment. It's much easier to tell if something is broken if you can feel it break. Currently his only indication something is wrong is if a circuit is actively frying or something stops working -- or if his nanos sniff it out.

Xisuma doesn't eat, but he tells his friends he eats redstone. It cuts back on some of the unnecessary worry about his well-being. It also means when they think he's distressed, they leave him little gifts of redstone, and he finds that endearing.

Xisuma likes to dress up his cybernetics. It started out with trying new paint jobs and slowly escalated to building new body casings with fancy cosmetics. He's very proud of his bone mage cosplay. The little dragon helmet has glowy-eyes and smoke comes out of its nose and everything. Tango, Joe and Cleo like to help him design things, and he lets Doc and Grian go ham trying to stress test [ie ruthlessly destroy] the parts to make sure they're durable before he commits to a design.

And that's about all I've got for now I think!

[viola-ophelia]

Celegorm told Thingol that he would marry Lúthien against her will. It is not a reach to say that includes the threat of rape

hi! i assume you’re referring to my tags on that silm poll.

first of all, even though i don’t share the idea that the celegorm/luthien situation included a threat of rape, i totally see where you’re coming from! i’m really not interested in debating that particular point because honestly, you’re completely right. i just personally feel that interpretations of the silm that require delving into tolkien’s outside writings (which is where the idea that elf marriage = elf sex comes from) is a bit of a reach because the silm is a complete and meaningful text on its own. but that’s just me! i know many people would disagree with me on this, and that’s why i will be the first to say that your interpretation here is totally valid.

but whether or not you think the celegorm/luthien situation involved a threat of rape, it’s clear that celegorm was very much in the wrong and his action was very much immoral. what i was trying to say in those tags is that i am much more interested in how huan’s decision to abandon celegorm at the moment that he did, and for the reason that he did, seems incongruous with the fact that he was complicit in all of celegorm’s previous immoral actions— up to and INCLUDING the capture of luthien.

huan followed celegorm from valinor through the first kinslaying and showed no signs of turning away from him at that point (at least, there’s no mention of it in the silm). one can even infer that he PARTICIPATED in the first kinslaying since he is, after all, a hunting hound, and since he was fully loyal to celegorm at that point. why did huan condone, and maybe even join in on, THIS immoral deed of celegorm’s, but draw the line at his treatment of luthien? why didn’t he leave his master at alqualonde? you could definitely argue that he wanted to give celegorm a second chance… but a kinslaying is an act of mass murder. that’s one heck of a second chance lol.

i also feel like it’s important to note that huan DIDN’T actually leave celegorm because he kidnapped luthien. huan was complicit in the kidnapping— in fact, he was the one who brought celegorm to luthien in the forest in the first place. he also followed along while celegorm and curufin took her captive and let them bring her back to nargothrond. why, if he was so against it, didn’t he attack celegorm as soon as he realized what was going on and prevent him from kidnapping her at all? huan did end up helping luthien break free, which would’ve been a GREAT time to abandon his master if he so chose. but instead, he returned right back to celegorm. huan doesn’t actually leave celegorm until the showdown in the forest between celegorm/curufin and beren/luthien. so if anything, his final straw is celegorm attacking beren, who was strangling curufin. but this sudden anti-violent stance seems really strange given his compliance during the first kinslaying.

again, i’m not at all saying that huan was wrong to leave celegorm. but i don’t think that huan chose to leave celegorm because he threatened to rape luthien— in fact, huan explicitly RETURNED to celegorm after the kidnapping, even though “their love was less than before.” honestly, it seems like huan simply decided that he was done with celegorm and would rather follow luthien instead. which is fair enough LOL! i definitely won’t say celegorm didn’t deserve it. but i have to be honest, it doesn’t really endear huan to me. his abandonment of celegorm seems like an attempt to absolve himself of celegorm’s evil deeds (at the expense of his own loyalty), but since he had already stood by and supported said deeds, i don’t think it does a very good job of absolution.

[alparlaboratories]

Gonna ramble about Inyssa for a little bit.

Is it conceited to make a post about your own character's themes and stuff? Maybe. Whatever.

@inpurpleandred has been rereading and commenting on CoT and some of the stuff they said gave me ThoughtsTM about Niss, so here they are under the cut. It's long, and y'know... warning for all the stuff Niss goes through.

So you know that tumblr post that goes something like 'I'm probably X (trans, queer, bi, etc.) but I got much more pressing shit going on to deal with that at the moment'? That's how I viewed Niss'... everything while writing CoT. Partly because yeah, Niss really has so much shit going on that more urgently requires her attention during much of her story, 90% of it being Shadi's fault of course.

And she does deal with a good amount of it during the fic itself, mostly regarding her own self-worth, her feelings about her family and her own warped view of strength and heroism. And it's only near the end and the epilogue that she can even begin to consider anything else about her life.

And I think in that time, in those years between CoT and my future story, Niss does think about it, and tries things out, experiments and tries to find a place for herself in herself. And she realizes that she both has severe self-image issues and also some gender stuff going on maybe, but they're not actually related.

During much of the fic, Niss sees her body as separate from herself, as early on as the first chapter. It's a form of detachment that allows her to be angry at herself in self-harming ways that -in her head at least- don't clash with her vow to never hurt herself again like she did in the past.

And she is very, very angry at her body. It's a bitterness that keeps boiling under the surface of her skin whenever she's unable to do something she feels like she should. She sees her body as just a thing covering the real Inyssa, and feels like a chick who never got to break out of its shell. And though she tries not to admit it, one of her biggest fantasies is to literally rip herself apart like a molting snake and for the 'real' Inyssa to come out of the dregs, pristine and perfect.

And in a way, it's true, but it's not her fault. It's both Shadi and Johanna's (And Sarah's too, but for different reasons). Who is the most to blame is debatable, but regardless, it's because of them that Inyssa feels this way.

Because yeah, as one of my readers once said, the Dawn family is full of women who are made of stick and stones, but Inyssa takes that to an extreme. There's a chapter where Barry mentions that Niss was once noticeably taller than him, and she was! And she would've continued that trend, eventually growing as tall as Shadi if not taller, if she'd had a normal childhood.

But she didn't. Johanna neglected both of her daughters, and partly because of that -and her own bad tendencies- Shadi ended up doing much worse, especially psychologically, to Inyssa. And then she left. So Inyssa was left severely depressed and gaunt for arguably the most important years in terms of physical growth and development. Johanna says so herself; she practically starved herself, eating only as much to keep herself alive and not doing anything else. And she kept getting worse, and worse, until eventually she attempted suicide. Which, of course, only made the situation worse.

And by the time she was forced to start taking care of herself, it was too late. Her body was frail, and the malnutrition she'd suffered caused invisible scars that stunted her growth for the following years, making Inyssa feel like there was a disconnect between how strong her willpower was compared to her actual body. And so she went on hating said body, cursing it for all her problems because she didn't know who was really to blame.

It's also an endless spiral, because she could've gotten better if she'd taken better care of her body, but why would she, from her own perspective? So she treated her body worse, and it inevitably got worse, so she got even angrier, etc. It's only when she goes on her trainer journey alongside Barry, someone who cares to help her, that she starts getting better. And of course, following the end of the fic and the Epilogue, she's actively trying to eat and sleep more, to treat her body more kindly, like it always tried to do with her.

And it's only then that she has enough time and peace of mind to think about herself, her gender and all that. Now, Niss has always been bi. One of the few good things about Johanna as a mom is that she was unapologetically bi herself, and supported her daughters in learning their own sexual identities, Niss coming out as bi eventually, and Shadi as a lesbian.

After that, I think Niss would happily try new things, whenever she got the time. And though she would keep doing so even years and years after the fact (well into this new Hoenn fic and beyond) from an author perspective I think she'd eventually see herself as a baby butch, a pretty boygirl who loves wearing suits and ties and looking like she's straight out of a visual novel full of bishonen men.

And I love that for her, honestly.