#also actually i got a lot done yesterday so thats nice

[strangerhands]

yippee i finally left my house again yesterday🧎 and got to hang out with my bestie for the first time in just over a month again🧎 but. things felt good. normal. so i guess all of my fear and hurt was for nothing. but things have been feeling better and like they normally do again recently this week. it makes me glad and relieved but also fuck,,, my ~plans~ are now spoiled,,, but i Guess technically thats for the better. i dont know if ill tell him about how ive been truly feeling lately. what ive been thinking. wanting. planning. but differently now. i think itd be for the better if i

[zwolfgames]

Can we have more Yandere mha x child reader please 😁🙏

*Thank you for the request! I' unsure wether you wanted a continuation of the original two parts or a new one. This one us a continuation but I was fairly out of ideas so I hope this is alright. If you did mean a totally new concept then I'll be happy to write that too :3)

Requested: Annon

Warnings: Kinda child abuse but not in a violence or sexual way. Manipulation. Incorrect lore. Binding. Yandere.

(3rd person PoV)

Y/N. The one kid know to have escaped the league of villains.

But what no one told the news, was that you were also the one kid to escape all of class 1A. A class of pshyco's.

Now that you look back at it. You had been naive.

Trusting these heroes. Just for them to use you as a doll, as a baby to coddle because they felt bad. Because they needed it.

But no one ever asked you... no one.It had been another two long years now.

Your body had finally been allowed to age without Eri being there to revert you, even if she was willing or not. You still weren't sure if that child had been in the same situation as you... But you didn't have time to look back.

Not when they were hunting you.

Now that some war between villains and hero's was around the corner. The searches became more intense. You'd catch Bakugo not two alleys down from you.

See Tokoyami and Hawks patrol from above.

Allmight had been caught in disguise just yesterday.

They were closing in on you.

You had only gotten away up untill now by cuttibg your hair differently. Wearing baggy... stolen.. clothes and caking dirt all over your face.

But what had to be done had to be done.

It's not like the villains left you alone either.

Altough, with the criminal circkles you had affiliated in, as was totally allowed for a 10 year old... you had heard of them trying to find you.

And you know... for someone's whos mentally just 12, that was scary.So you had trained yourself to fight a bit... Wich wouldn't do a lot against grown adults... but the tought was nice.

It's not like your quirk would be of any help. Crying pearls only helped you get by. And thats it...

But naturally, a story couldn't go on with it's main character living peacefully.

As you were napping on your little cleaned up dumpster of a home, you got knocked out of it as the whole plastic container got kicked to it's side.

An all too exited Kirishima came running to grab you off of the floor.You rolled out of the way. Kicking over some cardboard to slow him down as you sprinted away.

The boy just used his quirk to smash trough any and all obstacles. He had one goal in mind. And that is to take their shared sibling back.

Sibling was a better title then your actual role was. You're more of an emotional support pet....

Just as you think you'd still manage to get away from Kirishama, a tendril of grey scarf wraps firmly around you.

You're snatched up and quickly find yourself trapped in someones arms.

The man didn't even want to talk right now. He had gotten way too attached to you. A little kid with barely any power. Those kind of people is what he vowed to protect.

And even tough it seemed like you didn't want anything to do with him or other hero's. Aizawa was sure you'd understand that you needed the protection when the war began.

That you'd need a parental figure-He means... that he'd be available if you ever needed... guidance.

So in no time were you back to U.A.. Wrists bound like an animal.

You didn't like these people anymore...

They made you feel weak, useless...

Not human.

Just a plaything...

You were once again reverted back to an 8 year old and this time, kept in a diffrent room.

"So, like I said, you'll be sleeping in my room now, alright kiddo? I promise this is just for your safety. See, we even set up your own little bed. Yaorozu even made you a plush of your favorite dinosaur. And well... Koda.. tried to do that aswell- but- nevermind." Aizawa explained as he showed you your... incredibly cozy bed. Tough having to sleep in the same room as the guy that had essentially brought you into this mess..

Not your favourite.

"Don't look so depressed kid. It could be way worse. The villains could have killed you by now. You really shouldn't have run from us. We're just keeping you safe." Aizawa sighs and rubs your now messily cut hair.

You just huff in the little defiance you had left.

How dare he try and say that the villains who just as much wanted you back were trying to kill you?

Did he think you were stupid?

Probably.

Actually, undoubtedly.

They must all think that, that the slightest gust of wind would blow you away.

What did even see in you? Just a child?

No one would go this far for just a child...But you were their child. Group effort. Class project.

That was you. A responsibility they took way too seriously.

You still yearn for the reality where you could have just been delivered to an orphanage. Gotten an actual normal family.

A mom and a dad... or a mom and a mom... or a dad and a da- okay look you just didn't care as long as it wasn't this...

"Look, and we got you even more toys. And Midoriya mentioned that you liked to draw? Right? So only the best supplies for our little hero." Aizawa tries to smile.

You didn't know wether he was the only one that actually noticed how wrong this all was... he knew... but he couldn't give you up... give you away.

He never intended for this... but his class had also gotten attached... he wasn't alone in this... And that sucked for you.

Because escape attempt after escape attempt just ended up as you getting more stuck.

Ankle chain, gps tracker, locked doors, barred windows, constant surveillance.

How is no one saying anything against this? Why is this just being allowed?

Why did the freedom rule not count for you?

Where is the law?

Nowhere.

Not for you.

Its never been there for you.

And honestly, that hurt.

Why didn't anyone help you?

Why weren't you saved?

You littarly live with hero's and you're the victim.

This isn't okay...

And you couldn't do anything about it.

So you broke.

Going from defiant child to broken toy in days. Rotting in your extremly comfrotable bed like a depressed teenager.

Wich techically you could almost classify for mentally. Just half a year more.

Getting dragged out of your bed to be passes around like a plushy for movie nights was common now.

The students were getting more nervous too with the upcoming war.

Ochako coddled you more.

Deku had been teaching you about all his quirk knowledge as if he was scared he's die.

Aizawa was fixing up more safety manners.

Hawks had been coming over to babysit during actual hero school lessons.

Wich was even more awkard.

"Hey kid, smile."

"Y/N, can you draw me?"

"You're so cute Y/N, why don't i just take you with me instead? Im sure they wouldn't mind."

"Kiddo, want to go shopping?"

"Y/N."

"Kid."

"Kid..."

You were not a kid...

Stop it.

Why can't they leave you alone.

So you cried. Embarrassingly so in Hawk's presence. Pearls fell from your eyes and the pro hero looked on in awe.

Cupping your cheeks and whispering sweet words to try and comfort you.

Wrapping his wings around you and patting your head.

And dammit if you didn't hate all of them you would have loved this.

But after this... there really wasn't any escape.

War was spent in a bunker.

The survivors clung to you for dear life after the events and you just had to sit trough it like the good doll you were.

Smile and wave Y/N.

You weren't ever free.

And you never will be.

[lucy90712]

Can you do a pedri x gf!reader imagine where she’s with him during all of The Residency shoot & sees that the girl social media worker has been getting a little too close for comfort. Gf tries to stay calm the whole time until she finally snaps & then she thinks pedri is gonna be upset at her but he’s actually really turned on by the fact that she’s territorial of him

A/n: I changed it up a bit as I don’t usually write stuff like this so I hope it’s ok

WC: 2.1k

Yesterday afternoon Pedri asked me to go with him to his shoot with the residency today because he gets a bit awkward when on camera so he wanted me to be there so there was a familiar face in the room. Of course I agreed to go as I always love spending time with him and I think it's sweet that he wants me there but I'm definitely a little bit nervous too. I have always been really anxious about meeting new people so to be in a room full of them is a bit nerve wracking for me but I am going to be there for Pedri and I'm sure everything will be fine.

This morning Pedri had training which he brought me to as well because we had to go to the shoot right after. I haven't been to one of his training sessions in a long time so it was nice to see the whole team as I get on with them all really well. Getting to talk to the guys before we had to leave relaxed me as I remembered meeting them all and being so nervous but I survived and now we are all good friends so I will be fine with meeting the crew for the shoot. They all knew where we were going so they told us to have fun and Robert told me to make sure I enjoy myself as he knows how anxious I get. Pablo also sent me a smile which didn't need any words with it as I knew what he was trying to say. 

On the drive Pedri kept me talking about anything other than the shoot and he held my hand tightly to keep me distracted which he is very good at. Once we arrived the crew all came outside to greet us and Pedri got out the car first to say hi before opening my door for me and introducing me to everyone. My anxiety faded quite quickly as everyone was so lovely and they were more interested in Pedri which meant I was able to just blend into the background and take some time to calm down. We all went inside and Pedri got his hair done while someone else explained everything they would be doing which started off with a live stream and then they wanted him to film some TikToks which I just know Pedri will hate. 

"Amor do you want to be on camera?" Pedri asked 

Our relationship is semi public so people know we are together but we don't often post with each other only on special occasions. Most pictures of us together are taken by other people as I don't like to put myself out there too much as I only ever get hate anyway. So being part of a live stream isn't really up my alley but I don't mind if I'm seen in the background.

"I would prefer to not be but I don't mind being seen in the background" I said 

"Thats ok we can keep you out of shot" one of the men there said 

"Thank you" I said 

Once Pedri was ready they got everything up and started the live stream so I sat out of the shot but somewhere were I could still see what was going on. Things started off simply as they got Pedri to play some fifa which he does a lot at home so that made him more relaxed and I could tell he was starting to really enjoy himself. Whenever he scored he looked over in my direction to see my reaction like he does when we are at home so I gave him a big smile which he returned. After the game they made him do karaoke which even I've never seen before as he refuses every time we go out, it was so hard not to laugh at him but I held back my laughter as not to disrupt anything. 

The next thing on the list was a Q&A but most of the questions were things I've heard him answer a million times so I kind of lost focus and started paying attention to other things. As I was doing so I noticed the girl that's part of the team getting rather close to Pedri. I'm used to seeing things like this as fans quite often get close to Pedri or other girls when we go out places but they never go too far so it doesn't really bother me. This girl however was already getting on my nerves as she was constantly staring at him like not taking her eyes off of him. She was also sat really close to Pedri and I could tell he was feeling uncomfortable with her so close but she didn't take the hint, if anything she got closer to him. 

Now that I've noticed it I have found myself constantly looking and getting more annoyed by the second. The girl then touched his hand which he instantly moved out the way but I could feel the jealousy and anger coursing through my veins. I'm not one for confrontation in fact I would usually do anything to avoid it but this girl was really getting on my nerves. She was touching my man right in front of my face without a care in the world which is driving me insane. I know Pedri would never even entertain this on any normal day but today he can't do anything without looking like an asshole in front of thousands of fans on the livestream which is so unfair as this girl is definitely taking advantage of that. If it were possible there would definitely be steam coming out of my ears but it's not so instead I can feel my cheeks heating up in anger. 

Eventually after what felt like hours of torture the livestream ended and Pedri was finally able to escape that girl and come over to where I was sat. He sat next to me and put his arm loosely around my waist which made me feel a whole lot better. As much as I hate what this girl is doing Pedri has done nothing wrong and I need to remember that he loves me not this other girl. Having him by my side made me feel so much better as all of his attention was on me and not on that other girl and he was telling me how he is actually willing to do karaoke with me now. We were having a good time and he was just about to kiss me when the girl came over and rudely interrupted by telling Pedri that they had to get back to filming now. He whispered that he was sorry and the look in his eyes told me that he felt bad but it didn't stop the anger building up in me again. 

She dragged him away from me and outside so I had to follow behind and find somewhere to sit but everywhere I went to sit she made someone move to get in my way. In the end I gave up and just sat on my phone but I made sure to keep an eye on what was going on as I'm no fool so I'm not taking my eyes off that girl. Having my eyes on her made absolutely no difference as she was getting more and more touchy by the second. Instead of just asking Pedri to move to where he was needed she put her hands on his chest and I swear I saw her drag her hand down his abs but that could just be the jealousy taking over.

The longer I was sat there watching the more I felt like I had to do something. My last boyfriend cheated on me because I was too soft and I just let him go out with all these girls because I trusted him but I'm not going to let that happen again. I trust Pedri I really do but I'm not going let some girl take advantage of that he's my boyfriend and she needs to be respectful of that and leave him alone. As they were filming I was thinking about all the outrageous things I could do to put this girl in her place most of which were absolutely crazy and would probably get me arrested and definitely ruin Pedri's reputation but then I thought of a great idea that wasn't too much but got my message across. 

As if the world was reading my mind they stopped filming to take a quick break, I didn't need telling twice so I put my plan into action. I got myself up and wandered over to Pedri with a level of sass I don't think I've ever reached before in my life but it felt great. I walked straight over to Pedri and put my hand on his chest as I stood in front of him which took him by surprise as I don't think I've ever acted like this in my life let alone around him. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that the girl was staring at the both of us so I put the rest of my plan into action and got on my toes to kiss Pedri. He was still in shock so I was able to kiss him more passionately which helped me release some of the anger I was feeling and it was definitely annoying the girl which is a huge bonus. 

After I pulled away Pedri smiled at me and pressed another kiss to my lips before the girl said they were going to start filming again so I walked away and went back to my position on the outside chair. As I sat down my rush of adrenaline dissipated and along with it went all the extra confidence I had just gathered leaving me feeling awful about what I just did. I'm really not one to do something like that and I'm not really sure why I did it, I mean it's not like Pedri was paying any attention to this girl and we won't ever see her again so it doesn't matter if she was touchy or not. Guilt flowed through my body as I realised that in the heat of the moment I made a stupid decision that probably doesn't paint me in the best light if someone were to tell the story without my side. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion and I can't believe I let myself get carried away with it Pedri probably thinks I'm some psycho now as he's never seen me act in such a way in the whole time we've known each other. 

For the rest of the shoot I just sat quietly letting my thoughts take over so when it was finally time for us to leave I politely thanked all the crew and said goodbye before getting out of there as quickly as humanly possible. I was silent on the drive home too as I was still feeling bad about overreacting like that and trying to think of what I could say to Pedri to apologise for embarrassing him in front of a brand he works with. When we arrived home I went straight inside to start making dinner as I feel like I need to do something nice for Pedri to help him forgive me for acting like a crazy woman. 

"Amor is everything ok?" Pedri asked

"Yeah everything's fine" I replied bluntly 

"Come on I know somethings up you were so quiet on the drive home, if it's that girl I promise I would've done more to push her away if I could but I only love you you know that right" he said 

"It's not that I feel awful for acting the way I did" I admitted 

"What do you mean?" He asked 

"The way I kissed you just to get her to back off I shouldn't have done that because it just makes you look bad but I just got so carried away with my jealousy that I couldn't stop myself I'm sorry" I said 

"There's no need to be sorry baby you didn't do anything wrong you just kissed me which you're allowed to do plus I thought it was hot the way you wanted to show her I'm yours" he said 

"Really you didn't think it was too much" I questioned 

"No I loved it you're so hot when you get jealous plus that kiss was amazing 10/10 I might have to make you jealous again so you'll kiss me like that" he joked 

"Please don't do that I can kiss you like that without being jealous" I said 

"Well go on then" he smirked 

[drkatz]

so much self improvement content on youtube is just nonesense and a lot of things just make you feel bad.

ive found a lot of good content thats helped me out over the years but you really got to sift through all the gurus and people trying to sell you supplements to find good advice.

the video that helped me with repairing my relationship with food i stumbled by accident, it was on the youtube page for one of my favorite bands, The Cog is Dead and the lead singer John Mondelli was talking about his relationship with food and how he eventually managed it and it was really nice and has helped me.

i think it helped that he doesnt like body shame others just talks about how his overeating was like a genuine problem for him and also talks about him having adhd and how that contributed to it.

idk i just thought it was interesting and helpful, not saying his advice would work for everyone but intuitive eating has helped me sort of feel less inclined to eat all the time and like binge eating which far more than my weight was the actual problem, binge eating puts a lot of stress on the body and is cyclical.

But lately ive managed to just exist and i just eat what i want but like i just listen more closely to my body and stop when im full.

like i ate only like half of a burger yesterday because i was full with just a half, like ive never done that. i eat so fast usually i dont have time to listen to hunger cues

[carmenized-onions]

SIGH you got me good with this one I fear

Okay so the chap is still fresher in my mind this time since I read yesterday!! Itemized yap sheet incoming below based mostly on the order they happened

1) Yoooooo

That just cracked me up okay. Had to add. But also like. I love them. I love that Tony is so nervous to catch up with Richie bc it means talking abt mikey, but also relieved and excited ish to talk to richie bc it means talking abt mikey does that makes ykwim

2) AAAAAAA listen the way that Carmy thinks about Tony to calm down?? Like hes having a panic attack and he thinks about Tony and is calmed slightly by smelling her shampoo in his hair literally makes me ILL

2b) kinda related but also like not ?? But Anyway Like. Carmy like unsure whether or not he is actually scared/believes Richie when he says he could end his relationship with tony got me like on my knees in my workplace when I read that bc UGH he has absolutely zero confidence and i just want to kiss his face okay. Also him not really wanting to share tony with Richie is so real of him actually. Like he wants Tony to just be his and that's so sweet.

3) if we dont find out the chip storyline ill riot if only for Carmy's sake cause like Carm, im also now very intrigued that Richie didn't immediately blab when prompted but also go richie thats very cute

4)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Scream break mb

5) last one but like the painting??? The way that it starts with the beef and has like pictures of before and stuff and the mid point is mikey and then it has pictures from like the building process and ends with the The Bear sign? IM DECEASED YOU KILLED ME THATS SO GOOD WHAT LITERALLY WHAT

6)okay im i liar whatever could i edit the post yes will i no. I digress. Last one fr. So the way both their lil povs end with them saying on friday they'll do right by each other??? Im so gone actually wtf

Anyways as always i adore you and your writing RAAAA

HEHEHEH GOTCHU!!! GOT YOUR ASS!!!

yoooooooo -- The next convos are really some of my favourite to write, i get to amp up the funny and math out what their texting styles would probably be, it's fun!!

Also yes, it's very much that part of grief where it's like a knife to talk about them, but it's also nice, it's weird when in the grief process, everyone around you acts like that person just simply Never Happened in fear of being triggering-- It's nice for Tony and Richie to get to talk raw!! Even if it's anxiety inducing to lead with it!!

2. Hehehhehe, he does it a LOT, When he called her before, trying and failing to get her voicemail, when he was having an episode in the diner and then Tony came back and he became Normal mostly. Grounding Tool but it's a Person

3. listen baby, I don't put a gun in the first act just to not fire it. I've had this backstory since chapter two. And honestly, I was extremely nervous that someone was gonna guess it and I was being too obvious. Thank God, no one has, yet-- But also no one's guessed, so like, feel free to throw in your guesses, love to hear em.

4. AHHHHHHHH!!!! Here let's see, during this scream break what can I give you...

This is what I'm screaming over, personally. This is Chapter 10 alone, LMAO. AND I'M NOT EVEN DONE LMAOOOO. The goal for me is to get it out this Friday, so it's like, timely and on theme. But we'll see how tired I am, this work week. Might've just gotten a commission (that I honestly don't want to take lmaoo) so we'll see. Fingers crossed. It's definitely gonna need me to take my eyes off it for a day and come back to, so keep your fingers crossed, for me.

5. OH GOOD! I was worried I described it poorly; there's always that fear, when you have to make the thing that's like the thing of the story, and if it's not good then what the FUCK WAS IT FOR!!!!!????

I'm vv happy to hear it killed you, is what I'm trying to say. I also thought the idea was very sweet. Hehhehe

6. You're always free to yap on end, never fear such a thing. Yes!! Their POVs start and end the same way, which is just like, a cute lil touch, yknow. Two anxious mfs. In the club tnnnnn, trying to do right by each other if it fuckin' KILLS them

thank you thank you thank u as always i love to hear this and i hope u enjoy Friday whenever the FUCK it comes out.

[bbarican]

july 30, 2023; 7:21 pm - life updates

hi, tumblr! its been a minute ~ how are you guys? isnt it so weird that july just decided to be a blip and is now over like it never actually happened even though it was a super busy month? either way, im here to update ya'll on how ive been and other things and if youre interested, just keep reading along; either way, i love you!

family:

bittersweetly, wala na kaming bisita sa bahay; ang weird kasi my mom pointed out na we had visitors nga pala ever since may, thats a lot of time to have people over at your house and to not have privacy; it is sad though to have the house this quiet again but i, glad for the memories we all made over the course of everyone's stay

i treated my mom to a mani pedi session yesterday and it was really nice and relaxing; i finally got my nails done again and im so happy!

other than the aforementioned, we dont have a lot going on except the fact that we're going to a lunch buffet on saturday so atleast we have something to look forward to

im just really excited for the rest of the year and what that holds for me and my family

personal life:

im in a much better headspace and i am truly grateful for whatever or whoever helped me along the way

july was tough kasi i kept pushing myself to my limit without really noticing and again its very bittersweet kasi a part of me is super proud na i can actually juggle so much but at the same time my mind was not doing okay

but im glad im better now; maybe it was just a bad and busy week but i know for a fact na hindi lang yun yung week na ganun sa buong buhay ko so atleast now i know i can actually handle it

i finished reading happy place by emily henry already and i love that book so much; it being about people around my age made it all the more relatable + its super funny + it hits a little too close to home knowing that im the same as the protagonist; overall, its such a great book and i wish i could read it for the first time ulit

been trying to download bumble again pero literally my phone wont let me kasi it always prompts me to fix my payment method sa apple id which is totally fine btw but it always ends up being in error so i just take that as a sign na downloading bumble is just gonna be a waste of time anyway

i need to buy clothes kasi 1.) i wanna invest in them (again, my mom has a point na i need to stop repeating my outfits as much as i do) and 2.) i have an event to go to on the 11th ata so i need to dress up for that

i also want to sell some of my stuff kasi day by day i just keep realizing na i have so much stuff and instead of throwing them away, might as well make some money out of them

work:

im relieved that work is better now; not as busy, but busy enough to keep me on my feet without actually killing me mentally

i love my officemates; i love how the board takers are back and that the noise is back too

na approve na din kaagad yung revisions namin for our community library project which means we get to go to ikea already and purchase the stuff we wanted to for the project

feels kinda weird din talaga to not have been able to go to the office for a week cause of the weather kaya tomorrow im really gonna push myself to go kahit na alam kong uulan parin kasi i just know im gonna be lazy as fuck if i dont go to the office nanaman

regarding our team building, again, im not so keen on pushing through with it this august kasi 1.) its raining, 2.) mahal na since we're booking for the same dates, and 3.) again, i have no idea what our budget is to begin with so its really hard to plan anything anyway

and yeah, thats it for my life updates ~ im beyond excited for august, so here's to making the last day of july super fun and productive and memorable in whatever way it could be

ingat kayong lahat especially since for sure uulan parin this week!

[namuneulbo]

week one hundred and fifty five

on monday i took a proper rest day. i slept in. walked around in comfy clothes, no makeup, hair up. i did have to go grocery shopping but it was a quick errand and i treated myself some sweets as well. i played some sims and some cities skylines. it was nice to not do anything.

i tried doing my makeup in a different way on tuesday. i saw a girl on tiktok with such pretty makeup and it looked so good on her. i quite liked it on myself as well but i've gotten so comfortable doing my usual winged liner and dark purple lip.

had an exam wednesday morning. we had a four hour limit, i was done after an hour and a half and i was the second person in the entire hall to leave so i was either really dumb or really smart.

also, i asked the guy out! he replied pretty fast this time saying yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we went on a date on thursday. we met up at the subway station and walked together to the bar. it was surprisingly non-awkward? like, the dynamic was so natural. i paid for our drinks like a true lady. he was so flirty, it was so fun. i loooooove flirting and it was so fun to flirt with someone who had the ability to actually like,, make me nervous? like, it's been a while since i've actually like,,, been visibly caught off-guard and like struggled to reply to certain things TT he was like flirting with his eyes too, i was SO FLUSTERED????

we then went to the fancy dining restaurant by the name of mcdonald's. he had nuggets, i had fries. he also had fries but later gave his to me. then we went on a little walk until we got to a bench up on a hill in a park. it was a pretty secluded place and the view was so pretty over the city and the water. it was so romantic :')

we sat there for hours. it started off just sitting next to each other. i did notice how he placed his arm behind me on the bench. it was like,, so obvious but it was cute hihi. after a while of talking with our faces obviously within kissing distance he just straight up said:

"this seems like an appropriate time for a first kiss."

we laughed about it and i was like "yeah, but we can't do it right after you said that". we did it just a few minutes later though lmao and we did it quite a lot for the rest of the night.

we made out, got a little passionate, you know? like hands all over each other. i had a great time. he did try to like, do more but doing anything more dirty than we already were doing on a public (BUT SECLUDED) bench was even too freaky for little old me. so when i felt his hand moving lower, i moved it away.

he asked me about it later, or like, kind of mentioned it like "you moved my hand away earlier so i interpret that as..." and i just simply said "yeah, not here."

i appreciated it though. it's so obvious and so,,, expected but i still love when people check in on you. like yeah, no shit, you should, but it still feels so sweet. just a little "you okay?" makes me very content.

i had to get a taxi home or otherwise i would've had to take three buses just to get to my subway station. it seemed more worth it to just pay and get home way quicker and way easier. i felt bad for him having to wait for his bus but he said it was fine :’)

he had an exam the next day so i strategically sent my "wanna meet again sometime?" text a few minutes after his exam started. he replied later in the evening with "well absolutely :)". so we're back to waiting for him to reply for hours and hours on end. i m word him.

apart from my date going well and me being obsessed, nothing too crazy happened this week. my sister gave me some shirts she doesn't use anymore so i'm happy about the wardrobe extension. a bowie tee, a beetlejuice tee, a black knitted sweater, a grey knitted sweater and a striped knitted sweater with a skull on it.

I GOT KENT TICKETS!!! i was also almost 30 minutes late to work but thats whatever ;P

e made a DELICIOUS kebab pizza yesterday. even had it for breakfast this morning. dawg, it was so good!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm writing this last part on a bathroom break at work. my shift ends in an hour. i'm really tired even though i slept well. i'm excited to go home, eat some chips and drink pepsi <3

sotw: my chemical romance - the sharpest lives

[unholyxvoid]

i will try to keep them coming! i’ve done a great job at rambling my ass off so far and you haven’t called me annoying, so that’s definitely something! (thank you by the way, it’s nice to ramble freely and feel like it’s been received well)

GIGGLING!!! damn you’re making me blush, oh my godddd /hj

that makes sense! i think most of our friends are plural? and have been for a while. i dunno, we find it hard to have friends and label people as friends because our bpd thinks friends means we talk to each other everyday, etc. so yeah. but having plural friends does help a lot, it’s helped us so so so much, it’s how we found out we were plural, through a friend at the time who was a system. funny how things always work in the ways that they do.

i totally get the wondering about if someone ever existed thing. a common theme for us is that we split someone, they get frontstuck with me for like a week or something, and then they disappear for basically ever (other than a few exceptions but even those people come around rarely anymore). and that’s also scary as fuck! it’s terrifying! being alone is terrifying, especially once you get used to someone being around. i tend to get attached to these people too so i grieve for them after they leave. it’s just not a good feeling. i’m sorry you have to know what that questioning of reality feels like, but you’re not alone in it, yeah?

i get that, the explaining part. it’s the hardest thing about any of it aside from figuring it out, which i suppose are directly connected. if i can’t explain it to someone else, how can i explain it to myself? i guess? i get what you mean 100%.

when i said “figure things out” it’s not like how i got to the conclusion, just a kind of “identity” i’ve figured out for myself which feels really weird and uncanny, if that’s even the word for it. basically my nonhuman-ness is in some way simply a heart and a brain connected together. i feel like my being is just heart and brain without much else connected to it, just those raw parts is who i am. the vitals and really nothing much else. this might explain a lot about me or nothing at all, i’m not sure which it is. fun!

and i’m not even sure how i came to this? i don’t really remember details. one day i remember being like “fuck, i’m more nonhuman than i realize,” but i don’t remember much else aside from that or what caused that. memory issues for ya baby!

commenting on your tags: yes, we do follow you! i think you guys were actually the first sleep token related blog (loose term) that we followed, fun fact! was looking through our following yesterday or something and kinda laughed at the information. also thanks for respecting the boundary, means a lot. i know curiosity is a devious thing, i appreciate you keeping things the way i’ve asked for them to be. i think of me being on anon, or anyone who says they choose to be anonymous, that the boundary is respected despite curiosity or whatever else. like with sleep token, you know? it’s a basic thing to do. and i have quite strong feelings about it, but i won’t put you through the misery of listening to that as it honestly doesn’t matter all too much in the grand scheme of things.

oh, and about your pain, same. our shoulders and neck has been huuuurting. had to put our heating pad on it last night. god, it’s been a pain in the ass the last couple weeks (roughly). sending you well wishes about it, sucks bad :(

-maw 🪽

nah youre good , not annoying at all dw /gen

we dont talk to many ppl most of the time but we do have some plural friends yeah , and its definitely helpful

wondering if they even exist is a pretty persistent issue we have , or at least me personally . the doubt and denial is insane and does not want to leave me the fuck alone . even when im actively experiencing shit in the back on my mind im still like 'nah this isnt real im imagining it' and it really sucks , i dont really know how to get rid of it

thats actually really cool , you can be the heart and brain of any living being . or is it more like heart and brain without some physical form around them , just floating organs ? hlshfkd or maybe more in the nonphysical sense , heart and brain how they function in relation to eachother if that makes sense idk the right words rn

ohh fun , are we mutuals or do i not follow you ? also yes im very curious but i know youll eventually come off anon and well talk on disc so i can be patient . absolutely yes thats part of it , id never cross that boundary with the eepies and i despise anyone that does . and i know id be upset if someone crossed that boundary with me as well

oh man yeah this body is getting fucking old and everything is starting to hurt (im an old man ... in my 20s but im so old ...) yeowch

[greydiminishing]

8/13/24

I wanna start journaling in the mornings. I think it'll be really helpful for me. I wanted to journal yesterday but i didnt get to it.

*Firstly, I'm feeling a lot better than I was a month or two ago. I checked my grades and I somehow actually passed all my classes. I'll make a post just on that though.

Yesterday was a nice day. I woke up to loud construction sounds and when I looked out my window, I saw half a tree hanging in the air! It was a tree removal service or something, probably because we had a crazy wind storm the other day and the tree must've gotten unstable. But I got to watch the workers chainsaw massive chunks of this tall tree, then secure it to the lifter with rope and watch it get lifted and "float" to the ground, where they chainsawed off the branches and then pushed it through the chipper. Pretty cool, 10/10 start to the morning even if it woke me up.

Then I made hot cocoa and buttered toast and I had an apple that was maybe the sugariest apple I've ever had. It was almost too sweet. Organic cosmic crisp only $2.99 for 3lbs at aldi! I'll have to bring a bag or 2 when I go back to school.

I didn't get much on my todo list done yesterday. I don't know how or why, when I felt so good and motivated in the morning. I think maybe I was enjoying my leisurely morning so much didn't want it to end. I did do my laundry though.

I've been having a lot of good days/good mornings because I've been taking my adderall. I've been taking it pretty consistently for 2-3 weeks now and the difference is night and day. I feel human. I feel functional. (Escaping the pit of despair I was in when I thought I failed all my classes definitely helped too).

Every time this happens, when I stop taking my adderall because I feel like I don't need it when I'm not in school or doing any work, I end up feeling like shit. And then I start taking it again and the world regains color. When will I learn.

~~~

I'm going to the mall with my friend today. We're gonna see a movie and eat some tacos. I'm excited and nervous. I shouldn't be nervous, but I am. I think it's because it's a 1-on-1 hangout, which I'm usually not good with, but I already know I'm fine with 1-on-1s with this friend.

I'm also a bit nervous because I'm taking the highway to get there. But I literally took the highway two days ago, for the first time EVER (by myself), and for the longest duration that I've ever driven (35 mins lol). So why am I nervous to take the highway a second time for a fraction of the duration?? Idk.

Also, that same day, I drove my other friend's dad home. I've never said more than "hello, how are you" to this man, and now we're in a car for a half hour while I'm driving on the highway for the second time in my life. And I did so good!! (Minus one stop sign I drove past when we got by their house :P) We had some conversation, and I changed lanes smoothly, and it was all good. I was so normal!!

This seems like something I would usually freak out about; driving and awkward social interactions, my two greatest fears (and thats not exaggeration, thinking about getting in an accident, and remembering my awkward social interactions are the two main things that keep me up at night. They cause me intense distress. They are also the two main causes of the weird twitch/tic things i get when i think about something bad). But I was actually so chill about it. If I can do that, I can do anything.

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

big long rant abt how happy i am rn but its LONG ^_^

holy shit . its a sunday evening and im somehow SO FUCKING HAPPY. like. nnothing even HAPPENED today i just had A GOOD DAY IN GENERAL this is incredible. like. i watched a nice tv episode and saw a funny video and played some minecraft and hollow knight and watched a fuckin crazy jrwi episode and woke up before the sun and felt the wind and watched the sun and heard the birds and. man. and tomorrow i know i have school and thats not even ruining my mood at all. because i have history. and my history teacher is nice. and he wont mind that i havent done any of the work because he gets it. and he explains things in interesting ways and hes kind and he never shouts and its the only class i not only feel comfortable asking questions, but where i WANT to ask questions because hes NICE about questions and i usually probably wouldnt care abt the shit were learning abt but he tells it like its actually REAL and not just a sheet of information. and im just happy. and whilst i didnt finish my codeflippa drawing like i hoped i would, i think ive come to terms w the fact i dont think i wanna ever Finish it, bc my creativity for it died down. i think ill just surround it in a few more flippa doodles n then post it bc ITSF FINE !!!! man. and like. i think ive remembered how it felt to be 5 again. when everything was SO EXCITING and i had no worries about the future because the only thing that EXISTED was here and now. and the world WAS big and scary but it was also incredible and interesting and full of light and colour and. like right now i can smell dinner cooking and for once im taking a moment to feel excited about that. because YES dinner happens everyday but !!! isnt it great that theres gonna be food soon !!!!!! and ill be able to eat it and i hope its smth i like. my sense of smell DID get fucked up 2 years ago BUT THAT ONLY MEANS DINNERS EVEN MORE OF A SURPRISE !!! it smells vaguely of HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT IT SMELLS LIKE THAT ONE CHICKEN DISH I HAD A LOT LIKE 5 YEARS AGO it most likely isnt that but ica nt belive i remember what that smells like . and like !!!! right now im listening tot he celeste soundtrack AND ITS SO GOOD !!!!!!! and MUSIC SOUNDS SO GOOD !!!!! and i played minecraft today and i tamed a dog called. smth. i havent named it yet. and a cat named smth toast related bc i was rlly hungry 4 toast and then i saw it. and i found out there r 3 seperate villages all really close to my base and i built a farm with potatoes and carrots and wheat and i mined for ages and realised my sense of direction in minecraft maybe isnt as bad as i thought it was because i spent like 2 hours in a cave and got utterly lost, but still knew which way west was. and i played a little hollow knight and didnt do too much but got across greenpath because i started a new save yesterday where i did all of crossroads. and if i play more hk later im gonna complete greenpath (or atleast what u can do b4 any other areas). and i saw my cat this morning !!!! and he was so friendly and he went meow meow meow and i went meow meow meow. and i just watched the new DW episode and !!!!! it was rlly good !!!!! ofCOURSEit had its moments of :/ BUT THAT DW FOR U IT ALWAYS HAS ITS :/ MOMENTS but it was SO good !!!!!!! and i love life sm rn and i can hum along to celeste music and my room is a good temperature and. my face ghurts bc ive been smilng so much. but im happy ^_^ and who knows how ill feel later tonight but what matters is that RIGHT NOW i m so in love witht he world :3

[abcdosaka]

the life update 2.0

the unformatted stream of consciousness edition

i started working on monday. it's alright, been connecting with ppl, not being overly shy but i'm still adjusting to actually working 8 hours straight bc i've been doing legit nothing for 5 months straight. the people at my workplace are nice enough especially the ladies like there's one who i was lowkey scared of bc she kinda has a rbf and just looks so girlboss and professional but i messaged her and we talked and she's actually really nice :) anyway i've had enough work experience being the new guy and onboarding online that i'm not as scared as i would've been + i already know people at this company so i can kinda show my worth from the start

i got my period on friday and i was fucked up yesterday and today from cramps/headache so i got barely anything done so i need to do some work tmr cry T_T i need to remember work is not school i can't just procrastinate everything and i should actually work during and only during work hours. i give myself a pass though bc friday was just awful. also i was supposed to learn python before i started working but i didn't but idk feel like i can wing it there. i already know r and i learned java in highschool so it might actually be a breeze not to toot my own horn but i'm like pretty smart so

it feels like my pms (except its not really pre- more like first/second day of period) symptoms are getting worse the older i get. sometimes the symptoms are okay but more of them are just awful than not. i get really nasty headaches and intense fatigue for one, really bad cramps, joint pain and lower back pain, sometimes my boobs swell up and are really tender (compared to the normal level of tender), i'm either very irritable or sad, i feel like i can't eat and i'm bloated or gassy, i'm like constipated but i also need to shit all the time. like i cannot focus with these conditions. i couldn't this week bc its legit my first week lmao but i might start taking sick days for really bad periods. also maybe bc i took a walk before i started work but my allergies were REALLY bad all day

idk if it's my body aging (which is crazy bc i'm not even 23) or if it's bc i don't exercise as much as i should but idk i still do, like yes i do sit on my ass a LOT but i use the exercise bike a couple times a week and i lift a little bit (not as much as i used to). i haven't been able to go swimming in a while bc i think i had a uti (i didn't bother going to the doctor bc i've gotten 2 in like the last year and i hate taking antibiotics so i was like man lets just wait this out) and now i'm on my period. but other than that i swim pretty frequently.

the only issue w me is i'm a homebody but thats just bc i have almost no friends in my city lmao. esp since n has moved. (i kinda wanna call her but idk our in person chats are always so much better than calls like slight tangent but i can never hear her on the phone lmao)

honestly not mad at it like. did we only talk to each other out of circumstance? i think it's just a fact of life that most of our friends are borne from necessity at work school etc but once that ends only a few of them, maybe 1 or 2, will really stick around. but still like most ppl from uni i just don't think i'll ever talk to again and i wonder if that should matter to me or not. ngl sometimes the loneliness hits me but i don't think i've really lost my social skills in fact i think i've gotten a lot better compared to this time last year like sept 2022 - april 2023 was just a downward spiral for my social skills everything was so hard and my anxiety was prob the worst it had ever been and i wasn't very forgiving of myself. maybe bc i spend a lot of time at home but also i just don't really have a hard time talking to randos on games or in shops or whatever now. idk maybe i give less of a shit now or maybe my solitude is making my ego rise like it tends to.

i heard that was a thing, like if you spend too much time alone your sense of self becomes insanely inflated or deflated there is no middle ground. kinda facts like people are weird

but anyways i feel, for the most part, pretty chill these days. i think i could stand up for myself better now vs in the past. i texted sp again to say like "we should make plans" but i set up the last plan and like i drove her home last time too and we met at this kinda lame plaza bc she had an errand nearby so if she doesn't start the convo this time then i legit can't be arsed like i'll never talk to her again bc i'm gonna return the same effort i get. in fairness she told me that work is really exhausting for her and her commute is ridiculous like she lives by fucking farmland and has to take public transit everywhere bc she doesn't have a car. but we've never been close and i don't think our sense of humour or what we're interested in is all that similar so i get why she's not feelin it honestly me neither. no hard feelings but i will drop her tho.

holy shit this post is loooonggg. i'm not even done writing about shit but i think thats it for the life stuff so i'll make a new one

[keefwho]

September 13 - 2023 Wednesday

9:03am

I'm having the thought that I won't be able to focus on work today since I'm not streaming. I'm having the thought that I keep making things weird with people and thats a form of pushing them away. I'm having the thought that I won't be able to figure out what it is about myself that makes me believe I'm so unlovable. I'm having the thought that nothing I do today can make me feel better and lighten up.

11:00pm

This morning was the same breakfast as yesterday which was lovely. I watched the second episode of the Mia and Me show, it's pretty bad but I'm still intrigued by it. Something about it feels cozy in a way, something about it gives me PS2 vibes.

I didn't stream today, I tried to do my work alone. I did just about as bad a job as yesterday in the sense that I wasted a lot of time goofing off even though I did get it all done within the time frame I absolutely needed to. I want to get better about conforming to my schedule when conditions aren't favorable. I can do it fine if everything is perfect. I figure part of being mature means you can't wait for just the right conditions for everything. I mowed the lawn real good before lunch and also split some wood. It's one of my weekly workouts until it all gets split.

Lunch was beef stew with pasta in it. I played some HOI4 pony mod and watched some Chris Chan documentary. When work time came around I told myself I'd be better about it than I was earlier in the day and I was. I did the request and moved onto personal stuff, getting it done with much less time wasted than before. I had meant to make up for the 20 minutes I missed on commissions but I didn't do that. After work I booted up Starfield and spent an ungodly amount of time in the ship editor just to get basically nowhere. I might stick to premade ships unless I get some inspiration to build my own.

I had asked Daisy if she wanted to do something new and interesting this evening which she agreed to. When the time came to hang out we both didn't know what to do. I was down to pick literally anything as long as we've never done it or hadn't for awhile. I have the bad habit of not being able to settle on anything when I know any choice would be fine as long as I stuck to it. She seems to have the same trouble figuring out what to do sometimes. I want to overcome this so I can not only stop being bored but so I can also maybe be a sort of activity leader for those that are also stuck. Sometimes all it takes is that one person who takes the leap into doing literally anything to kickstart others.

We ended up searching around Roblox for a little bit and peaked into this horse game that we determined was pretty bad. In hindsight I wish I had tried to do some actual RP of sorts, that would have been new and interesting. I think I was too afraid to try at the time or wondered if I could even keep up with something like that. She also showed me some EPCOT posters on pinterest before she headed upstairs where we played Sky briefly. She was super tired and went to sleep while I played more Starfield which felt very cozy. It's not often I commit my attention to something like I did with Starfield tonight.

Tonight I was noticing how I try to conserve energy a lot and also try to do things in the laziest way possible while calling it "efficient". I guess in some ways it is but I was thinking about the value in deliberately putting no cap on my energy use for the sake of doing everything to the best of my ability. It also helps to keep me from overthinking because it demands a lot of mental process as well.

Today I had also forgotten all about focusing on what I'm working for rather than what I'm working against. It was helping a lot to keep my eyes on the prize but I forgot that already. Perhaps tomorrow I'll remember.

A good thing I did today was committing my attention to Starfield in my free time. I really got invested and it felt nice. Also the commitment I had to making something fresh happen tonight even if it didn't completely work out.

[qualityempathshoebear]

Fuck and Fucked

Well then, a lot has happened, some good things some bad. Ill update you.

Lets start with the good first, i have my last exam tomorrow (geo and physics) and then I never have to see these fuckers again. Very exciting, right? I have to say that I am thankful that my last couple of week of school havent been hell -I mean, they werent enjoyable but definetly not hell. Severly awkward and uncomfortable, yes, but hellish? No. Im so grateful to the girl group that took me in and made verything more bearable. I wouldnt have gotten through it without them, thats for sure. I have actually laughed-cried a couple of times with them aswell. Theyre great people that deserve great things.

Onto the bad. Yesterday my mom called me before i got home to tell me to meet her in the downstairs bedroom/livingroom/study area. She told me my sister had complained about our dad to CPS and accused him of abuse. She is so dumb. He gets andry sometimes, but he is not abusive. Im honestly so stressed by all of this and I feel this panic and anxiety heaving at my chest. She is so stupid. Does she not understand that dad could be charged, and all of us could be removed from our family. She is so fucking selfish. I talked to her and told her to fix it and she said she would but the worst part is that she isnt even bothered or regretfull at all. She is risking our livelihood and reputation for absoluly nothing. Its dusgusting. My parents have completely given up on her and my dad isnt even angry at her, in fact he is so sick of her he hasnt spoken to her at all. If this goes forward, dad could lose his job and this abuse charge could go on his permenant record and then he cant get a job abroad and move. He (we) would be stuck here, as a criminal.

Im being nice to her now, to keep her in check, and insure that she fixes this. But after this is over, I highly doubt me or anyone else in the family will speak to her again, especially dad.

Despite my problems with my family, they are all i have left. If I lose this too, I will be truly alone, and I dont think I can handle that.

Ps. I know this is silly to say considering the circumstances, but the boy with the same name as that of a south American country (except spelled with a different first letter) stopped talking to me and unfollowed me from instgram a while ago.

Also another unrelated update, my dad started applying to jobs again so hopefully we can move, if this CPS thing gets resolved.

Edit: I just found out that she told her math teacher, who just so happens to be my form tutor, and I have to see him tomorrow morning and all I can do is pretend like I dont know that he knows. I honestly feel so defeated. I just want to die. Luckily, its just 1 more day. Just tomorrow, and then im done for good.

Much love!

[lucy90712]

showing (pregnancy series)

Series masterlist

George:

It has taken a long time for me to start showing which I know is normal for some people but I just want to see a tiny little baby bump because then I can look at myself in the mirror and see the little thing that is growing inside of me.

This morning when I woke up and went to the bathroom I noticed a tiny little bump that had seemingly grown overnight, I knew it was a bump too because it was quite unlikely I would be bloated right after waking up. I almost screamed because I was so excited that I finally has a little bump after 16 weeks but I didn't scream because I didn't want to alarm George.

I went back out of the bathroom to wake George up and show him because he has also been so excited for this day, he always has his hand on my stomach in hopes that there will be something there but there hasn't been until now. I got back in bed to wake George up nicely with a sweet kiss to his forehead which luckily did wake him up.

"Are you ok love? Do you need me for something?" He said right away

"I'm fine but I have something you might want to see" I said

This caught his attention so I moved and stood up and he noticed right away what I was on about. I watched his eyes fill with love as his hands reached out to touch the small bump at the bottom of my stomach.

"No way you have a little bump its so cute" he said

Dream:

I have been chilling today on my day off work not really doing anything and just making the most of the time off. I got up to go to the bathroom when I noticed a tiny little baby bump forming on the lower half of my stomach. At first I shrugged it off thinking it was bloating but then I remembered that I have barely eaten anything today so it is quite unlikely, the more I looked at it the more I thought it actually was a baby bump. I'm only 10 weeks as well which is quite early to start showing.

Clay is going to be so excited like he has been telling me all the things he wants to do when I get a bump and how much he is going to talk to the little bump so he feels like he is talking to our baby. I went to go and show him knowing he would be incredibly excited, he was in his set up room so I went in there to join him.

"Morning bub" he said as I came in the door

"You will never believe what I just noticed" I said

"What is it?" He asked

I lifted my shirt to show him and his jaw dropped from what I'm guessing is surprise and excitement. His hands reached out and he put them on my stomach feeling the tiny bump that was there. He took about a million photos of it to send to people specifically his parents and sister because in his words he wants to show it off.

Sapnap:

I have been quite bloated this last week or so so I look like I've got a bump even though I kind of don't although it could be a bump now I think about it because it never changes size it is the same everyday and all day. Now that I think about it I might have been showing for the last week and have just ignored it but you can never be sure.

It is around mid day and I'm going to see Sapnap while he takes a bit of a break from working so we can eat together. When I walked in the room his eyes widened right away after he looked at me which I didn't expect.

"Is everything alright you look like you've seen a ghost" I said

"You you're showing" he stuttered

I forgot that I was wearing a tight top today instead of an oversized hoodie like I have done most days in the past few weeks. He ushered me over and he felt the bump before taking pictures of it and calling dream and George to show them because he was just so excited.

Quackity:

I'm 14 weeks along as of yesterday and this morning I noticed that I was starting to show a little bit. Alex hasn't see the bump yet because he hasn't got up yet but I'm not about to wake him up for this seeing as the bump won't just disappear.

He did get up a bit later so I went over to him and gave him a hug before lifting my shirt to show him my little bump. He looked mostly surprised while looking ay my bump and them reaching out to touch it moving his slightly cold hands all over my stomach which made me shiver slightly.

"I had no idea you would start showing this soon that's awesome" he said

"You can start showing even earlier than this" I laughed at his lack of knowledge

For the rest of the day Alex wouldn't take his hands off my bump even though there isn't much of it he is obsessed with looking at it and having his hands on it because he stays it makes him feel closer to the baby which is just the most adorable thing ever.

Karl:

Karl woke me up this morning in a fit of excitement over something, I was still very much half asleep as he was trying to tell me something at a rapid pace which my brain didn't understand. I rolled over to face him to see if that helped but it did not.

"Please slow down I'm still half asleep I can't understand what your saying" I said

"Sorry I'm just so excited you have a little bump look you can see it" he said

I looked at my stomach and he was right there was a small little bump that could be noticed if you were aware of what I looked like before it was quite obvious actually. Karl put his hands on the bump and started softly rubbing his hands over it.

The two of us got up and got ready for the day because Karl is doing more shooting for mr beast today and now he wants me to come so he can show them my little bump seeing as he is so excited about it he wants everyone to see.

We got to the shoot and I let them get on with whatever they were doing until they stopped and Karl came over with all the others to show them. They were no where near as excited as Karl was but I'm sure that was near impossible because he has just been jumping around all morning but they did think it was cool. Chris was happy too because it reminded him of before his son was born and he showed the two of us pictures he had from when Katie started showing.

Wilbur:

The other day I noticed that when I wake up I have a small bump in my lower stomach and I know its an actual bump because although I was quite bloated at the start that went away and now I have this bump. I haven't really thought a lot about it because I'm still very unsure about this pregnancy I love our little bean but at the same time I don't quite feel like I'm ready yet and I feel like people are very judgy when it comes to parenting and pregnancy and I don't want all of that.

No one had noticed my bump because its been cold and I've been wearing mostly hoodies even Wilbur hasn't noticed and maybe I should show him but its just something that I want to keep hidden so that people don't judge me. Today though it has been quite warm so I haven't been able to wear a hoodie but Wilbur isn't in so its ok.

I heard the front door go which I knew was Wilbur and I had no time to go and change so he's going to see my bump. He walked in and sat down next to me not noticing for a moment until he pulled me close to him and thats when he started smiling super hard.

"Wait you have a little bump why didn't you tell me?" He asked

"I just wanted to hide it I can't take the judgement of other people" I said

"Oh love it's ok I won't let anyone judge you plus its so cute our little bean is making them self known" he said

This made me feel a little better and Wilbur being so excited helped too, he put his hands on the bump and kept them there for a good while just taking in the fact that that was our baby.

[annoyingfobbie]

yoooooo i finally got to see Nope in theaters yesterday btw! forgot to talk about it bc it ended pretty late and i fell right to sleep after, but i enjoyed it a lot! this sort of means nothing bc no matter what the movie is, i WILL enjoy seeing it in theaters. like fr. I cannot be judge of movies when i see them in theaters because i fucking love movies and going to the theater so much that no matter what i will love it. so i'll have to wait for it to become accessible to stream so i can give it a second watch before actually having any judgements on it but my current thoughts are that it was confusing, interesting, and creative. the color grading was done really well, it looked beautiful. it was shot on IMAX so it's crisp in the best way. there were definitely a lot of questions left unanswered, which also happened with Us and Candyman, so i'm thinking maybe it's just the type of story peele likes to do. but it's such a contrast to Get Out, which ties everything up so nicely, in both endings. there were some really pretty shots that just felt very classic-horror-movie types of iconic. without going into too much detail, there was one shot of blood on a window that felt like the perfect iconic horror movie still. i know nothing about acting but it seemed like kaluuya and palmer really hit it out of the park, as i expected. the characters were really likeable, especially Otis Junior in my opinion. this movie really targetted me because i love horror and i love horses lmao. it was really really cool to see all the horses on screen, mostly just because i fucking love animals and horses and grew up on the countryside. this also had the downside of making me super sad any time anything happened to a horse. but seeing how thr main character, Otis Junior, loved and cared for the horses was so sweet and relatable to me. there were some good little funny moments too, which i always really love in a horror movie when done well. i really missed seeing horror movies in theaters, so it was really nice to see this one, and i'm so excited for all the high budget horror movies coming out in the near future too! low budget horror obviously is amazing and iconic but its so cool to see the genre getting the respect and money it deserves, and there are so many cool things you can do with a big budget that you can't do with a small one (and vice versa as well, of course, but it's just more rare to see high budget horror.) its cool to see big actors getting into horror roles and finding out that they really shine there. anyways thats all lmao

[slytherweasley]

Replacement (Pansy Parkinson x reader)

warnings: swearing

Summary- Pansy gets jealous when Y/n starts to form a friendship with Daphne. Y/n starts to hang out with her more than Pansy. In their dorm room doing homework and playing wizards chess. Like what Y/n and Pansy do.

At the start of the year Snape put you and Daphne Greengrass together as Potions partners. You both had a history of just disliking each other, there was no reason but you just didn’t like each other. After Christmas break you decided that you would have to be civil to get good grades. After talking and doing assignments together you decided to actually be friends.

“Pans, she is so nice. I don’t even know why I hated her in the first place” you tell your girlfriend cuddled up in her bed. “I’m glad you’re getting along then” she smiles. “She’s coming over so we can finish our potions assignment and finish off some potions homework. You can join if you’d like” “I’m a bit tired so I’ll pass” “Here I’ll do some of your potions homework” “No it’s okay but thank you, princess” “Pans I want to help you out” “Alright, just don’t do it all, okay?” “Okay.” Pansy regretted that moment for weeks.

You and Daphne quickly became best friends, you would study together all the time. You and Pansy used to do that together and she started to despise Daphne, the only thing stopping her from ripping her head off was you. After Daphne would leave you would be in such a happy smiley mood and Pansy loved it. “She’s really funny, she was telling me about this time with her sister” Pansy would smile and laugh when she needed to and the last thing she wanted was to break her heart. She knew that if she told Daphne to stop hanging out with you then you’d never forgive her. So Pansy did what was right for once.

Daphne knocks on the door, you get out of Pansy’s bed and open the door, she greets you with a hug. “I’m so ready for this rematch of wizards chess” Daphne says, together you okay for hours while Pansy reads a book, she couldn’t handle seeing her touch your leg or play with your hair. Pansy is a very jealous person. “I’ll see you tomorrow” Daphne kisses your cheek on the way out and Pansy shuts her book so quickly.

“What was that?” She says angrily “What’s the matter, love?” “She kissed your cheek” you chuckle getting into bed with her. “It’s what straight girl friends do, trust me it’s normal. And Daphne is as straight as a ruler” “Well you’re not straight” “Trust me Pans, I think I know that” “I hate it when she touches your leg or your arm or she plays with your hair or fixes it. That’s my job not hers.”

You give her a kind smile “It’s different with girls and guys, Pans. You’ve got all guy friends, if they want to do all that stuff with you I’m okay with that.” “That is so different” “Thats not at all different!” “I’m a lesbian, that would cause no sexual desire for me.” “I’m not sexually attracted to Daphne” “So you’re just attracted to her?” “No! She is my best friend.” “I thought I was your best friend” “You are, sorry darling. She’s my good friend” “I’m sorry too princess, I know she’s your friend but it’s too easy to get jealous.”

The weekend comes around and you have plans with Daphne, she comes over early to do your makeup. Pansy is still sleeping so you both try to keep quiet, your other dorm mates have already left. “She gets grumpy if you wake her up early on the weekend, so be quiet.”

Daphne accidentally trips you and you both start to giggle waking up Pansy. “Y/n?” Pansy calls out “I’m so sorry, bubs. I didn’t mean to wake you up” you stand by her bed and she notices the makeup. “Where are you going?” “Hogsmeade trip with Daph” “Can I come?” “I’m so sorry, we have to go” Daphne says, “I’ll be quick” “We have to go now, I’ll see you later. I love you.” Pansy doesn’t say it back and they walk out.

She gets mad so naturally she goes to rant. She gets changed and goes down to the common room where her group of friends are sitting on the couch. “Good morning Pansy, you look happy” Draco says sarcastically “Shut up I’m sad and angry” “Are you on your period again?” Crabbe says and the boys laugh. “I want to rant, so you’re going to listen and you’re going to shut up until I can say you can talk, got it?” They nod their heads.

She sits beside Blaise on the couch facing Draco, Crabbe and Goyle. “As you know Daphne has stolen my girlfriend from me and I’m about to kill her after this morning.” “What happened?” Draco asks “I’m about to tell you. This morning I wake up to Y/n on the floor laughing with that bitch, Y/n is the sweetest as usual, being all cute. Then I ask if I can come and I say I’ll be quick and Daphne says no and basically influences Y/n to tell me no. Y/n almost never tells me no. Now you can talk.”

“Well maybe they needed to be there by a certain time” Goyle suggests “No, because it was only an hour ago people are still leaving to go to Hogsmeade now. Do you think she will tell Y/n to break up with me?” “No, Y/n would never do that. She is a Slytherin so she knows how to take care of herself” Blaise says. “I know but she’s not one of us, she’s sometimes easily influenced” “Well you’re a very good convincer maybe it’s just you.” “What do I do?” “Talk to her obviously, maybe tell her all of this.”

Pansy waits all day for them to come back after dinner. “Y/n let’s talk” Pansy holds your hand “Here?” “No our dorm” “Just wait outside, Daph” “No, don’t. Actually don’t bother waiting for her again, just leave her alone.” Pansy takes you upstairs and slams the door shut “That was rude” “I don’t care” “What’s your problem?” “Y/n I miss you.” “I’m here now, we can spend the whole night doing whatever you want, I promise.” “No! I miss the old you, before you spent all your time with Daphne. I tried so hard for weeks to be happy for you but I can’t when I get no time with you. It used to be just you and me and now it’s you and Daphne and I am by myself.”

“I’m sorry you feel like that but I want to spend more time with my new friend, we have done so much together I want to do it with my new best friend.” “I should be your girlfriend, more important than your best friend. I always made sure you felt included when I would hang out with Draco and my other friends. You haven’t even asked if I wanted to hang out too” “I would but Daphne doesn’t like you, she thinks you’re rude” “And you still want to be friends with someone who doesn’t like me, your girlfriend?” “I’m sorry, I really like Daphne. She’s a good friend and she’s the only one I can connect with on similar interests.”

Pansy starts to tear up “I try my hardest to listen to you talk about everything you love and I’ll try harder, I want you back Y/n and I want her gone.” You had never made Pansy cry before, Pansy is tough and she rarely cries so it hurt. You didn’t know what to say “Fine, don’t try to find me or apologise because I won’t hear it.” She pushes past you and spends the night in Draco’s dorm.

You put on one of Pansy’s jumpers and try to fall asleep but it’s hard when you’re not in her arms like every night. The next morning you tell Daphne that you need to stop hanging out so much and you walk around looking for Pansy. You find her in the common room with her friends “Pans?” “Go away, I meant what I said yesterday” “I didn’t, I told Daphne we shouldn’t hang out as much” “Bye Y/n.” You go to the library to calm down.

“Pansy, she seems really upset” “Since when do you care what other people feel, Malfoy?” “We both know she doesn’t deserve that. She loves you a lot and after you told her you don’t like her she broke it off.” “I told you what she said to me, am I supposed to pretend she didn’t tell me she was sick of hanging out with me?” “She didn’t say that” “She meant it.”

After talking to Draco she realised how important you were to her. You walk back from the library and through the common room, Pansy isn’t in there so you assume she’s in your dorm. You go to your dorm and Pansy’s in there reading as always. “Y/n!” She gets up and gives you a hug. “Im sorry, I love you” “I love you too Pans and you were right to be mad” “Let’s just agree to keep things normal” “And to be each other’s number one priority” you agree.

You cuddle on Pansy’s bed. “I love you so much Princess, it’s so nice to be able to do this without any secrets.” “I love you more, so much” Pansy kisses your cheek “Also I still don’t like Daphne” “I know.” You kiss her cheek “Dont ever change, okay? I love your stubborn, beautiful, smart self” “If you love me I’ll never change, promise.”