#also a new self ship tag name
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To me subzero is bi-han or kuai liang.
Kuai is subzero. The younger brother of bi-han. They are both lin kuei and cryomancers. Ice ninjas/assassins basically.
Kuai isn't a pyromancer nor is he fucking scorpion. A moniker for hanzo hasashi that hanzo gave himself. That's HIS FUCKING NAME! hanzo hasashi aka scorpion is Japanese and isn't irrechangable with kuai liang a CHINESE name. Look i still won't forget that nrs fucked them over.
I'll forgive them if and when they put things right and make an actual good game.
Btw, New bi-han self ship tag name:
đâđ€đSnow Foxđđ€âđ
Kuai liang subzero self ship tag hasn't changed
It's still đâmelted heartsâđ
#mortal kombat#bi han mortal kombat#bi-han subzero#kuai liang#kuai liang mortal kombat#bi-han#sub zero brothers#mk sub zero#mini vent#also a new self ship tag name#đâđ€đSnow Foxđđ€âđ
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I'm thinking about how Firmus always looks so stressed and it just makes me(/Selina) want to cuddle with him to help him relax. Like I just want to flop down on him and basically act as a weighted blanket for him, no distractions, just feeling each other's breathing and warmth and maybe fondling his hair a little. I want him to be able to let go of the tension in his body and just hold him, letting him know that there's someone who cares a lot about him and his wellbeing <3
#an alternative would be to sandwich him between me and Maximilian#just making an Imperial cuddle-pileđ#<- note to myself to draw that some time#also I'm brainstorming for a Star Wars insert/oc and I'm not sure if I should just name her Selina again or try to find a new variant#but aside that I've already thought a little about her career and might make her an engineer or some kind of scientist or researcher#I haven't worked out the timeline of her education etc yet but I thought it maybe her and Jerjerrod could become nerd buddies lol#self ship#self insert x canon#oc x canon#fictional other#firmus piett#star wars#<- dunno if I should tag this with the character name n stuff but I don't have a custom tag for him so ... just throwing it in theređ« #selniaswriting
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I imagine Eli did tell Zander his deadname at some point because Zander is one of the people he considers cool enough to know and not long afterwards heâd be like âhey Zander, whatâs my deadname?â And Zander would just stare at him and Eli would think itâs funny at first and then heâd be like âAlright man itâs not a fucking slur, you can say it, youâve already proved youâre a good ally and shit you donât need to pretend you forgotâ and Zander would just keep staring at him and Eli would realize oh he. Actually forgot it.
#stupid shit#Zander filed that under ânot importantâ in his brain which sent it straight to the metaphorical shredder#trans eli#when I start thinking too much about my own name I also start thinking about Eliâs attitude towards his name#sleep posting#that my new tag for when I schedule these to post when Iâm asleep#sometimes I get self conscious that Iâm posting too much dumb shit but also itâs my blog and I have so many dumb thoughts I want to share#or I worry Iâm being too self indulgent or fixating on one character or ship too much.#so I post them while I sleep so I donât have to think about it till I wake up#sleep posting.
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Dumping my art and screenshot edits/redraws in one place completely out of order. Mike/Jay/Shawn polyship bc I can't be arsed to make a separate AU for either of them and crack shipping is good for the soul. Need to make Zolar content soon, they deserve more than just living in my head rent free.
Base in the first image made by katsu-bases on DeviantArt. Base in the seventh image made by maemmii__cm on Twitter.
#self ship#self insert#Totally True Love#<- ship name for all MikeJayShawn + all other variants#Stoked To Be Girlfriends#<- ship name for Zolar (ZoeySkylar)#đ Childhood Besties đ#<- catchall tag for Sky since shes an OC F/O (platonic/familial)#and i stick her and her brother in my aus with me all the time lol#also idk how clearly it reads but in the 7th image the thing mike has in his mohth is a pocky stick#i made a new brush and am still getting used to it#so idk how well others can understand my scribbles lol
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Why ship Luna with T//ann//er when you can ship her with me
#âŁïž; nothing fucks with my baby#self ship shitpost#kinda. its sorta a vent but also not really#idk i dont like going in her tag and seeing ship stuff with those two#nothing against t//ann//er but. whatever#(censoring his name so it wont come into tags bc i dont want to ruin anyone's fun)#fuck anyway. new girlfriend dropped. we fight crime and be gay. tbh.
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tell me that you love me | joshua hong {part one}
SYNOPSIS. in which you and joshua are simply different in more ways than one, yet only seem to find a common ground in struggling to chase your dreams. so why does life keep throwing you two at each other, despite your different worlds, and why does it feel so terrifyingly right? PAIRING. musician!joshua hong x deaf-artist!reader (ft. cafe owner!jeonghan, musician!seokmin, best friend!seungkwan, best friend!wheein, producer!jihoon) GENRE. fluff, slice of life, kdrama romance-esque, mild angst, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn WARNINGS/TAGS. cursing, shua and reader has some self-doubt issues :(, someone makes insensitive comments about reader, mention of alcohol (beer), mention of cigarettes, everyone ships them, kissing, terms of endearment, Softie Domestic Joshuaâą, it conveniently rains when they're together, this is 85% fluff and 15% plot and the brainrot was giving me an existential crisis, honestly there's not much warnings it's just a love story <3 WORD COUNT (FOR PART ONE). 20k WORD COUNT (FOR FULL FIC). 37k
notes: after 7 months (minus the 2 months i lowkey abandoned this oop), it's done! this fic could have honestly been 20k words, but the brainrot refused to do so. inspired from the kdrama of the same name and the jdrama Aishiteiru to Itte Kure. any uses/descriptions of sign language (ASL) throughout the story is researched! expressing my love to all my mooties who suffered listening to me talk abt this fic. i hope this fic being long doesn't bore you all to death <3 funny enough, this was also supposed to be a very very very belated bday fic to @slytherinshua LMFAO. ty to @bananabubble for also helping me a lot with this fic too!
part one | part two
âOkay, so to recap: the espresso machines are on the right side of the counter, just next to the pastry display. You'll get familiar with them really easily. The barista station is behind them, where all the little doohickeys are, yaddi-yaddi-yaddaâŠâ
âAren't you supposed to be teaching me where everything is?â Joshua asks in slight annoyance after securing the apron around his waist.
Jeonghan just chugs a wet, dripping rag in his direction, narrowly missing Joshua's head and landing with a damp plop on the counter. Then he wipes his hands on his apron, shooting a small wink at the other man. âPatience, grasshopper.â
âWhy did you decide to hire me again?â
âSo I can finally kick you out of my apartment," Jeonghan answers, a playful bite to his voice, and Joshua only rolls his own eyes. âin a non-violent way, of course.â
âYou're actually an imbecile, Yoon Jeonghan.â
âOh, but you love me.â Jeonghan smirks, plucking the wet rag from the counter and shoving it in Joshua's hand. âChop-chop, grasshopper, you got a whole day ahead of you.â
Joshua Hong was never one to detest helping out a friendđhis best friend, to be specific. He knew Jeonghan was doing this in order to help him out as he had been living under the man's roof for the past two years, with the promise of finding a new place testing his patience. Even with his nightly gigs at the busking centre in the middle of town, having a day job to earn some extra money seemed like a very good idea.Â
But he seriously doesn't understand how Jeonghan managed to open up his own café in the first place. It's remarkable, actually.
The day is surprisingly slow. Even with the café being in the mere heart of the city and amidst the morning and afternoon rush, barely any pastries were taken from the display. The only sounds come from the rhythmic ticking of the antique clock on the wall, and the obnoxious screech of the stool that Jeonghan sits on not that far away.
However after some time, the familiar, soft chime of the door echoes throughout the cafĂ©, announcing the arrival of a customer. Joshua finds his head immediately snapping up after fumbling with the frother, a welcoming smile dawning across his face as he smooths his apron and takes his place at the register.Â
The figure in front of him is momentarily enveloped by the sunlight that seeps through the large window panes. He waits for them to step fully into the warm glow of the cafĂ©, his eyes drawn to the way they hold themselvesđshoulders slightly hunched, hands tucked deep within the pockets of a lightweight jacket, and seemingly a book tucked under their shoulders. Their steps are slow, soft even as they approach the counter, and a smile, gentle and hesitant, plays on their lips.
âHi, welcome in," Joshua greets politely. âWhat can I get for you today?â
You find yourself gazing at the unfamiliar barista in front of you with meticulous curiosity, before letting your eyes drift to the nametag on his shirt: Joshua. His eyes immediately dart down to your hands that you lifted up on instinct, then hesitation gnaws at you, and suddenly you drop your hands back to your sides again.
âOur menu is up here.â Joshua motions above his head. âand our pastries are over here, if you would like to take a look.â
You wave your hand dismissively, then fumble for your phone, showing him an order written on the screen.
hot vanilla latte - extra foam - name is y/n
âHot vanilla latte, extra foam?â Joshua repeats, confirming the order with a friendly smile, and the response he gets is a pair of thumbs-up. âAnd the name is... Y/N?â
Your face lights up, feeling some heat threaten up your neck as you offer a small nod to confirm.
There's something endearing that blooms in Joshua's chest as he punches the order down on the register. The moment is stretched with long silence before he watches as you quickly turn around to head to the outdoor sitting of the café. He sees you place yourself down at one of the seats, back turned towards him, and all he could do is let his eyes linger for a beat longer before realising that he actually has to make your order.
The aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills the air as he sets to work. He fumbles slightly, steaming the milk for your latte and carefully (and clumsily) creating a cloud of airy foam.
When he places the mug on the counter, his eyes drift back to where you sat outside, the slight breeze and midday sun casting down on the patio. He notices that you're hunched over, seemingly concentrating on something, and he can't help but wonder what occupies your thoughts. With the latte in hand, he heads towards the door, the bell above the door softly chiming.Â
The sun paints the city in dappled gold, and a light breeze sways through the air and catches a strand of your hair that floats like a wisp. It's a picture-perfect scene, and Joshua thinks you fit right into it, all while hunched over a small sketchbook and pencil in your hand flying across the page.
He hesitates right behind you, unsure how to get your attention without startling you. Every option that he mulls over seems intrusive and jarring.
In the end, Joshua decides on a gentle tap on your shoulder. As his fingers make contact with your shoulder, a sudden jolt runs through your body, and you visibly startle, your hand flinching involuntarily and coming in contact with the mug in Joshua's hand.
The glass mug slips from Joshua's grasp, crashing down to the floor in thousands of tiny shards. Hot coffee splashes, hitting the skin of both of your hands and splattering on your sketchbook. Gasps fly from both your lips, echoing throughout the quiet patio. You wince in your seat, nearly causing you to stumble off but you manage to catch yourself.
For a long moment, Joshua could only find himself frozen, yet when he notices the pained look on your face, he instinctively reaches out, grabbing your hand without thinking. Your fingers curl around his in a startled reflex, your skin warm against his own. He cradles your hand in his, pressing his palm against your skin, as if trying to shield you from the worst of the heat and the glass scattered around the two of you.
Adrenaline courses through him as he pulls your hand back, examining it frantically. A thin red line crosses near your thumb, a tiny bead of blood sprouting at its edge. Panic claws at his throat, but he forces himself to stay calm. You're watching him, eyes wide with a mix of shock and pain, and he sees his own fear reflected in your pupils.
âCrap, I-I'm so sorry!â he blurts out, voice rough with regret. âAre you okay? I shouldn't have... I should have been more carefulâŠâ
You watch as Joshua's eyes scan your hand, the features of his face noticeably soft and etched with concern. The warmth of his hand cradling yours sends a jolt through you, something unfamiliar yet strangely comforting.
When you look back up at him, he asks if you're okay again, your gaze focusing in on his lips then back up at his eyes. You can tell he's worriedđhe even seems breathless from all the panic too. Swallowing a lump in your throat, you silently answer with a nod.
The air seems to thicken with awkwardness. Joshua's gaze lingers down on your hand cradled in his trembling ones, the sight of a tiny cut on the flesh between your thumb and index finger sending a fresh wave of shame to come crashing down on him.
When you both lock eyes once again, you feel a flutter in your stomach. Then Joshua clears his throat, a million apologies tumbling over each other in his mind.
âI, uhâŠâ he begins, then stops, unsure how to proceed. âDoes it hurt a lot?â
You realise he's asking about you, and you peer down at your hand, the sting of the burn momentarily forgotten in the face of his genuine worry. It's just a small red line, a minor burn that will fade in time, and a tiny cut where the glass had scratched. But the warmth radiating from his hand cupped over yours feels oddly... comforting.
You shake your head, then motion to his own hand, as if asking the same thing.
Joshua blinks in surprise. He examines it, a small line of red just starting to show from a small cut, and a tiny calloused area from the burn of the coffee. It was barely noticeable, and it admittedly stung with a dull ache, but he wouldn't acknowledge thatđhe didn't want to make you worry. It's not that bad, he thinks, but his thoughts are instantly replaced with concern for you.
âHere, let me... I'll get some bandages for you.â He gently releases your hand, his touch lingering for a moment longer than necessary, and rises to his feet. âAnd a new drink, of course. On the house.â
Before you can give him a nod or anything, you watch him walk towards the café, the sunlight reflecting off his dark hair. He turns back once inside, and your eyes meet across the wall of glass. You offer a smile, and raise your hand in a small wave. He returns one sheepishly, his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes just slightly, before disappearing to the side.
You stand up as well, shooting a glance down at your sketchbook, the brown splatter bleeding across a corner of the paper. It didn't look like a lot of it was damaged luckilyđyou could probably incorporate it into the drawing somehow. The thought seems to soothe you.
Joshua mutters curses to himself as he struggles to find the first-aid kit underneath the counter in the employee's only restroom. He rummages through a drawer, tossing aside spare toilet paper rolls until he finally lays eyes on the small white box labeled First Aid.
âKnew you wouldn't be a great match for this,â Jeonghan's voice rings out suddenly as Joshua retrieves a few pieces of bandages, the man finally emerging after what seems like a long ass hour of a break.
âYou finally regret hiring me now?â Joshua scoffs playfully, waving the bandages in front of Jeonghan's face. âThey haven't spoken to me at all, so I have no idea if they're okay or not.â
Jeonghan lifts up an eyebrow. âThey aren't speaking?" Some silence passes. "Is their name Y/N?â
Joshua looks back at him. âYeah, why?â
âThey come here a lot, like a regular, usually just drawing and stuff, I think,â Jeonghan points out, pursing his lips together. âand⊠theyâre also deaf.âÂ
The age of seven was the last time you heard your voice.
You went to bed ill with a high fever that night, only to wake up the next morning in a muted world. The change wasn't a gradual muffling or a sudden pop like a balloon bursting. It was all simply... gone. You didn't hear the pitter-patter of the morning rain against the window, the rumble of the air conditioner, or even your own heart beating in your chestđbut you could feel it.Â
At first, you thought it was a trick, perhaps a dream that had somehow bled into reality. You screamed, but no sound escaped your lips. You shook your parents awake, but their worried questions were met with your frustrated silence. Tears streamed down your face as they rushed you to the hospital. Then all the tests, scans, diagnosesđthey all came to the same the same result: a sudden, inexplicable loss of hearing.
Learning to navigate the world growing up without sound was a slow, exhausting process. You learned to read lips, got used to communicating with sign language, understand the subtle cues of body language, and rely on written words. Your world shrunk, confined to the walls of your home and studio, the familiar faces of your family, the lens of your camera, and the canvases that could speak for you.
You got used to this world of silence. You got used to the fact that you have to live in harmony with those around you, to put in that extra effort to understand them so you could simply be accepted and heard, for once. At a young age, you became adept at expressing yourself through artđcapturing the beauty of the silent world you inhabited, the emotions that flowed through your fingertips onto canvases and photographs.
Honestly, the world is so beautiful. Even though you can't hear the bustling city around you, the distant conversations, or the groans of traffic, you've learned to see and appreciate the world in a way others might overlookđfinding beauty in the stillness that surrounds you. The way sunlight dances on the leaves, the gentle sway of trees, the vibrant colours that paint the sky during sunset, the look of love between two lovers.Â
The city is especially colourful at night. Neon store signs burning bright against the dark canvas of the evening sky, people around you moving in routine patterns, and cars flying down the streets. You've perfected the art of capturing these moments, freezing them in time with your camera, and bringing them to life with just a simple brushstroke.
You can't hear the laughter spilling from a nearby work dinner or the murmured conversation of a couple walking hand-in-hand, but you see it all in the tilt of their heads, the curve of their lips, the spark of their eyes. You watch the way their bodies move, the sway of their hips, the swing of their arms, and their stories unfold before you like a silent movie on a grand screen. And that in itself, is beautiful.Â
You click through the photos you've taken throughout the day on your camera carefully, biting your bottom lip in concentration. There's a photo of a child chasing pigeons in the park, a flock of birds flying through the cloudless sky, a cat lounging in a window sill, and a smile breaks across your lips.
However, you find yourself accidentally bumping into something, or someone. Hastily, you bring your head up to the stranger to apologise, yet they walk away before you even could. Letting out a sigh, you bring your attention back to your surroundings, and your eyes widen to the crowd of people gathered in the small square you hadn't noticed before.
Your eyes dart around, trying to scan through the sea of faces while slowly pushing through the crowd as your curiosity gets the best of you. And when you get yourself to nearly the core of the crowd, you could only freeze to the sight in front of you.
There's a man perched on a wooden stool in the middle, a guitar entangled in his grasp and a microphone stand standing idle in front of him. You can hardly make out his face since you're standing to the side, but for some reason, all you can do is watch in awe.
You can't hear his words, of course. But you feel them. You feel them in the way his fingers dance across the strings, in the way his head dips with the melody, in the way his chest rises and falls with each breath. You see them in the way the light catches his hair, in the way the shadows dance on his face, in the way his eyes flutter open for a fleeting moment.
Then a sudden urge makes you reach for your camera, quickly turning it on and bringing it up to your eyes. And with a simple click of the shutter, you capture the moment in a perfect frame, before weaving through the crowd once more and back into the fresh air of the city.
You look down at the photo, and it tugs at your heartstrings. The nearby lighting catches his face just right, highlighting the sharp lines of his cheekbones and the gentle curve of his smile. He's lost in the music, his skilled fingers dancing across the strings of his guitar, eyes closed as he seems to pour his soul into every note. You zoom in on the photo, admiring the way his dark hair falls across his forehead, the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles.
He looks familiar, somehow. You rack your brain, trying to place him, but your mind draws a blank. You've stumbled into the busking area by accident countless times and captured endless moments through your lens, but this one feels different.Â
The vending machine swallowed his dollar. Literally.
Joshua pounds his fist on the lousy machine a few times, wraps his arms around it like a koala hug and attempts to give it a few shakes, hoping that the drink would somehow drop to the bottom, but nothing happens. Letting out a groan, he takes a step back and runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. Great.
He glances around the area, scanning to find some sort of alternative solution, and his eyes set on a convenience store just a few blocks down. He takes a few steps in the direction, before something brushes past him and causes him to stop.
âHey, the vending machine doesn't workâŠâ Yet when he turned his body around, he didn't expect to see you making your way to the machine, tapping on the keypad and inserting a dollar, all for the machine to spit out two cans of sodas.
Joshua watches as you bend down to retrieve the cans, peering down in confusion at the second one in your hand. Then when you straighten and look back up, the two of you suddenly meet eyes.Â
There's a brief pause, and you can't really tell if Joshua is staring at you like you've grown a second head or something else. Then you glance down to the extra drink in your hand, and ah, it clicks.
Your lips move in a silent question, and Joshua realises you must be offering him the extra can. He waves his hand, signaling that it's okay, but you insist, gesturing for him to take it. With a grateful smile, he steps up to you and reaches out, accepting the cold can from you, his fingers brushing over yours briefly.
Joshua watches as you click open the can and take a sip. When you glance back at him, his lips part, then close again, his brow furrowing together like his mind is cluttered. You can't hear his thoughts, of course, but the way his eyes dart from your face to your hands and back again seems like he's trying to ask you something.
âIs yourâŠâ he starts to ask, pointing to your hand, noticing that your hand appeared bare of the bandages he gave you more than a week ago. âIs your hand feeling better now?â
You catch his words by reading his lips, and you nod with a reassuring smile. Relief washes over Joshua's features, his eyes softening, and he gestures again towards your hand as if to make sure it's healing alright.
âWait, I... Sorry, let me start this over.â Joshua seems to mentally take a deep breath. âI'm Joshua, by the way. I should've introduced myself properly first.â
You know that already, but hearing him formally introduce himself ever since your little mishap at the café brings a strange flutter to your chest. You notice Joshua shift from foot to foot, the smile to his face faltering just slightly.
âIs it okay if I ask if you'reâŠâ Joshua motions to his ear, then shakes his head, seeing that it might come across as insensitive. Instead, he points to his own mouth and then makes a questioning gesture with his eyebrows, hoping you'll understand what he's trying to ask.
You nod, understanding his question perfectly, raising your hand and making a simple sign, tapping your ear and then shaking your head. You've had this conversation countless times before, with strangers and acquaintances alike. But there's something different about the way Joshua asksđsomething softer, more genuine.
âI should've realised sooner,â Joshua says. "I'm sorry if that came off as rude.â
You wave your hand dismissively and tap your temple, then point to his mouth, conveying that you could read his lips just as you've been doing this entire time, and Joshua could only watch your movements carefully. Though relief mixes with a tinge of embarrassment in his limbs. He hadn't meant to pry, but curiosity had gotten the best of him, and he didn't want to make you uncomfortable by putting you on the spot like that. He could tell you've probably heard this conversation many times with other people, yet you seem to handle it with such patience.
With a wry smile, you secure your can of soda under your arm before bringing your hands up, signing heartedly, âIt's okay,â and Joshua watches your movements with awe and also... a little confusion.
âCan I ask what that means?â he asks slowly, curiously.
You wave a dismissive hand in front of his face, pulling out your phone, quickly typing out something before showing it to him.
It means that it's okay
âAh, I see,â Joshua responds with a sheepish smile, attempting to clumsily repeat the action with his own hands, but he quickly brings it back to his side. âIf I'm speaking too fast, feel free to let me know. I'll try to slow down.â
You shake your head, typing on your phone once more.
Thank you, but you're doing just fine, I promise
A blush creeps onto Joshua's cheeks as he reads your message. He's relieved you're not bothered by his questions, but the awareness that you've been understanding him all along makes him feel a bit silly. In a good way, of course. He takes a hesitant sip of his soda, the silence between you stretching just a bit too long. He wants to talk to you, really talk, but he's unsure where to begin.
As you both stand there, with the city's sounds humming around, Joshua feels the nerves crawling up his skin. He gestures towards the convenience store nearby, silently asking if you need anything. You shake your head, indicating that you're good, but then motion down the road, pointing at something down the street.
âAre you heading somewhere?â Joshua asks, and he feels his heart jump once he sees you nod, feeling proud for understanding what you're trying to say.
You pull out your phone again, typing:
The museum
âThe museum?â Joshua repeats, picking his head back up to squint down the street. He feels the hesitation at the tip of his tongue, as if considering something. But then, the intrusive action takes over, and he points in the same direction. âWould it be okay if I walk with you? The cafĂ© is near there. I was about to head there myself.â
You notice the uncertainty in his eyes. Joshua watches your face for a moment, searching for any sign of discomfort or rejection. However, you simply offer a warm smile and a nod in response, which makes Joshua feel a surge of relief. A small smile plays on his lips, and he falls into step beside you as you both start walking towards the museum.
The late afternoon sun dips below the city skyline, casting long shadows across the pavement as you and Joshua walk side-by-side, your steps falling into sync. You steal glances at him every now and then, captivated by the way his hair catches the golden rays and how the lines of his face soften. He catches your eyes a few times, which makes you both look away at the same time. It's a bit awkward admittedly, yes, but there's a certain charm to it when he's right next to you.
Joshua tries to find ways to bridge the silence, but his words tangle in his throat.
Instead, he waves a hand in front of you, earning your attention back on him.
âDo you like art?â he asks. âBack at the cafĂ©, I noticed... you were drawing?â Then he does a scribbling motion with his hand.
The question hangs in the air, and you find yourself pausing to consider it. A thoughtful expression settles on your face, and Joshua watches as you take a pause to grab something from out of your bagđyour sketchbookđbefore handing it to him.
He shoots a brief glance at you, as if asking for permission, but your trusting gaze encourages him. He gently opens the sketchbook. His breath catches in his throat as he takes in the first page.
It looks to be a sketch of the beach, capturing the vastness of the ocean, the setting sun in the horizon, and the small details of people walking across the sands. Joshua can almost feel the warm sand beneath his bare feet and the salty tang of the air on his tongue.
He flips through the next few pages. A bustling city street, a lone bird perched on a branch, its feathers so finely detailed they seem to shimmer in the sunlight, a child's laughter echoing through a park, portrayed in a burst of joyful strokes.
Joshua feels a lump rise in his throat. He looks up at you, eyes wide with admiration and something else he can't quite define.
âWow, these are incredible,â he manages to say. âYou're so talented.â
You smile shyly, feeling the heat crawl up your cheeks as Joshua flips to the last page. In an instant, he feels his heart drop, but not in a bad wayđit's a page significant with the brown stain at the corner, but it's the way you seem to use the stain as a part of the sketch, blending it into the colours of the sky and the warm tones of the cafĂ©.
âI was worried about your sketchbook,â he confesses, looking back at you. âI thought I would have to buy you a new one. But... I'm glad it's okay.â
He hands you back the sketchbook, his fingers brushing yours once again as the exchange is made, and you both continue your way down the sidewalk.
And then, you reach the museum.
Joshua turns towards you, and you're already looking at him. Then you pull out your phone once more, typing in a message, before showing it to him.
Thank you for walking with me
âIt'sđYou don't have to thank me,â Joshua acknowledges, his eyes reflecting sincerity. âI enjoyed it. Besides, it's the least I could do after the, uh... incident.â
You both stand a distance away from the museum entrance, knowing that you have to part ways, yet there's some hesitation in there. Joshua peers at the museum building, taking in its appearance, trying to ignore the bubbling reluctance in his chest.
âMaybe I can see you aroundâŠâ But when Joshua brings his eyes back to you, you're already trailing towards the museum entrance. The embarrassment catches in his throat. He stands there for a moment with his gaze following you, clutching the can of soda, feeling the warmth radiating from it seeping into his palm.
Joshua sees you stop short in front of the entrance, turn back to him, and offer a small wave of your hand, your eyes locked with his for a brief moment. He reciprocates with a reluctant wave of his own, watching as you disappear into the museum.
He lets out a breath he didn't notice he was holding as he turns away, drinking the last sips of disappointment down his throat before throwing the empty can into a recycling bin nearby.
And while on his way to the café, the thought of you tugs at the corner of his lips.
Joshua pulls one more time on the door to the cafĂ©, the keys dangling in his hand clinging loudly together as he makes sure it's all locked. When he does, he adjusts the strap of his bag over his shoulder, letting out a deep exhale coming straight from the core of his chest.Â
The sounds of fallen, dried-up leaves crunch below with every step he takes. Joshua wearily casts his eyes around, watching as surrounding local shops and other cafés switch their lights off for the night. A bus rushes past him as he continues walking down the street, bringing with it a gust of wind that ruffles his hair. The city is slowly settling into its nighttime rhythm, and Joshua can feel the shift in energy around him.
As he walks, his attention is drawn to a figure up ahead. It appears to be an elderly lady, a large box in her grasp, her movements slow and careful. The box looks heavy, with whatever inside threatening to spill over the top with every wobbling step she takes. Joshua quickens his pace immediately, concern knitting at his brows.
âWait, maâam! Let me help you.â Once he arrives at her side, he shifts his backpack down to the ground and reaches out to steady the box. The elderly lady looks up at him with surprise and relief.Â
âAh, thank you, young man,â she says, voice quivering slightly as Joshua hoists a hold of the entire box, a groan leaving him at the unexpected heaviness.
âWhere are we heading to?â he asks.
âJust⊠into there.â The older lady motions with a slender finger to the tiny store tucked between a closed dry cleaner and a flower shop.
He canât really see where he was going, but he hears the ding of a door opening and the old womanâs voice gently guiding him inside. He carefully navigates through the narrow doorway as the smell of old books, musty paper, and something faintly sweet hits him as soon as he steps inside. When he feels his foot seemingly hit the leg of a table, he cautiously sets the box on top of it, making sure it's stable before straightening back up.
âThere we go,â he mutters, huffing out a tired breath. âIs there anything else that you need help with?â
âOh, no, thank you.â The elderly woman shifts past him to examine the box, before reaching over for a pair of scissors to begin tearing into it. âThese old bones canât do much anymore these days.â
Joshua laughs faintly at that, setting his hands on his hips as he takes a look around the bookstore. Itâs noticeably tiny, with only a few tall shelves taking up more than half of the space and a cluttered counter at the front with stacks of books waiting to be set out.
He swipes a random book off the shelf, some dust particles hitting his nose and causing him to sneeze. He chuckles softly, feeling a bit sheepish. The elderly lady looks up at him, a warm smile spreading across her face.
âBless you,â she says kindly. âNot many people find their way here these days. It's nice to see a young face.â
âReally?â he questions. âItâs very vintage. I bet thereâs a lot of history here.â
âFor sure,â the lady responds wistfully. âYou should head home now. Sleeping early is good for your health.â
Joshua places the book back on the shelf before heading his way back to the front. The elderly woman hands him back his backpack, wiping away some grime and dust that may have settled on it in the meantime. She continues to shower him with thanks even after he steps past the door. He bids her a wave and a good night before beginning to head his way back home.Â
However, a sudden thought crosses his head, and he doesnât give the way his feet turn back around much hesitation at all.Â
He pushes the door open to the bookstore, swallows a lump in his throat, and lets his eyes meet back with the curious old lady.Â
âActually,â he starts, smiling somewhat bashfully. âDo you happen to have any books on sign language?â
âDid you finish totaling it up?â
âHmm, yeah. Give me a second.â Joshua quickly flips through the bills in his hand, splitting it up as evenly as he could, before handing the rest to Seokmin. â294 dollars.â
Seokmin chuckles, grabbing the money from Joshua before unplugging the microphone. âNot too bad, to be honest, and it's on the worser days of the week.â
âIt did help that you were here today. I owe you for that,â Joshua admits cheekily, packing up his guitar inside the case and zipping it up. âGot time for a meal later? My treat.â
Seokmin clicks his tongue, shaking his head while wrapping the microphone cord around the stand. âMaybe next time? I have plans.â
Joshua raises an eyebrow, picking his head up to look at Seokmin. Oh, he knows what's going on, and Seokmin isn't really the best at hiding his facial expressions, or anything really at all. The older man just rolls his eyes, chucking a small pebble in his direction, making Seokmin let out a loud yelp as he dodges it.
âAlright, alright. I get it. Go enjoy your date.â
Seokmin's face reddens, and he huffs, âIt's not a date! We're just getting dinner, that's all.â
âSure, sure,â Joshua continues to tease, standing up and slinging his guitar case over his shoulder. âWhatever you say, buttercup. Have fun, though.â
Seokmin just shoots him a playful glare, grabbing a bag of his own belongings and the microphone stand before heading off, promising another day to catch up, and leaving Joshua alone in the quiet square.
Letting out a sigh, Joshua glances down at his watch, noticing the late time displayed. He contemplates whether he should head back to the cafĂ© to help Jeonghan with closing, head straight back to the apartment, or stop by somewhere to grab some food, and the thought of food makes his stomach rumbleđhe decides on making a quick stop at a convenience store.
The convenience store is a familiar sight, one that he goes to often and tucked away in a quiet corner of the street, its bright lights illuminating the surroundings outside and the wet streets. There's a slight drizzle that starts as Joshua enters inside, the door letting out a soft chime. The cashier welcomes him with a nod as he starts to stroll through the aisles.
Joshua wanders through the narrow aisles, scanning the shelves for a quick bite to eat. His gaze lands on a shelf filled with instant noodles, and he grabs a couple of cup noodles (and a can of beer for good measure), figuring they would be enough for a simple dinner. As he makes his way to the cashier, the door rings once more, and he turns to spot a familiar face entering insideđyou.
Your eyes meet in an instant as Joshua fumbles with the stuff in his hands, the cup noodles and can of beer suddenly feeling heavier than a sack of bricks. His guitar nearly slides off his shoulder too.
You stare at him for a moment as if in confusion or contemplation. Joshua thinks he sees a flicker of recognition in your eyes. Then your lips curve into a hesitant smile, and the world seems to tilt on its axis. You hadn't expected to see him again, not so soon, but the sight of him fills you with a sense of... comfort, perhaps.
A bashful look washes over your face, and you offer a small wave, your fingers curling into a silent hello. Joshua returns the gesture, his own smile hesitant but clearly genuine.
The silence hangs between you, awkward but strangely filled with something, both of you seemingly unsure of what to say.
Joshua shuffles the abominable weight in his feet, the cup noodles in his grasp feeling like ridiculous boulders.
âHey,â he mutters out, struggling for words, mentally slapping himself in the face. âI was just about to grab some dinner.â
You watch him, gaze tracing over the lines of his face, the gentle curve of his lips, the nervous glint in his eyes. You feel a sudden urge to reach out and somehow wipe away the worry engraving his features, but your hands remain clasped at your side.Â
He catches your gaze, and his cheeks flush with a faint blush.
âWould you like to join me?â
The offer floats in the air, hanging between the two of you like a question mark. Your eyes widen slightly in surprise, and Joshua fidgets nervously, almost regretfully, while waiting for your response.
Yet unusually, there's something about this that feels... right. Perhaps it's the familiarity of his presence, or something else entirely. You've never really been asked this before, and it feels weird and a bit intimidating, but for some reason, you don't exactly want to step away. The thought of sharing a meal with someoneđwith himđshoots a bullet of curiosity through you.
Whatever it is, you want to trust it.Â
Taking a deep breath, you raise your gaze to meet his. Then you give him a shy smile, one not quite reaching your eyes, and nod ever so slightly.
The cashier looks between the two of you as Joshua places the cup noodles and can of beer on the counter. The chime of the cash register rings out as he pays, and you soon follow after with your own food, placing your own items on the counter, then you both head towards a nearby seating area together.
A growing tapping of rain hits the earth outside as the two of you pick a spot in front of the windows. Joshua sets down his leather bag and guitar, and you place your own painter-splattered canvas tote right next to it.
Joshua feels a tap on his shoulder while aimlessly stirring through his ramen, and he watches as you sign him something with your hands. He doesn't entirely understand what you were signing, but he picks up the motion of a guitar, and he brightens up.
âGuitar?â He gestures to the guitar case nestled at his leg, and he watches as you nod and point at him. âMe? Guitar?â
You give a thumbs-up, and Joshua chuckles, feeling proud for picking up on your words.
âYeah, I... I've been playing since I was young,â he answers, and you read his lips carefully. âJust as a hobby though, not professionally.â
Your mouth opens in awe, then you lift your hands up again, making a swinging motion with one arm and motioning at him, and Joshua tilts his head curiously.
âBook?â he questions, and you shake your head. He thinks again, repeating your movements. âOh! Music? Do I make music?â
When you nod again, his heart flutters with victory.
âI play and sing sometimes. Just... small gigs and stuff, nothing too fancy,â he admits meekly. âI've written a few songs too. I guess it's a way to express myself, you know?â
You soak in his words, your eyes focusing on his lips and the subtle shifts in his facial expressions. Joshua swears he feels himself shrink under your gaze, but it feels almost relieving to tell this to you.
You bring your hands up, signing something, and Joshua watches intently, attempting to replicate your movements himself while trying to catch the meaning behind the gestures.
âYou... like music?â he ventures, and you give him a small nod.
Joshua smiles at this, before it falters slightly. He opens his mouth up to speak, and you perk up, but then he closes it quickly. He feels the anxiety blooming within him, not knowing how to approach the question without making you uncomfortable.
âCan IâŠâ he starts, feeling regretful already. âCan I ask... how do youâŠâ
You notice the hesitation in Joshua's eyes, seeing how he's trying to ask as delicately as possible without crossing a line. But you already know what he's trying to ask, and you feel yourself willing to answer.
You reach for your phone, and Joshua observes as you type out your words, eyes lingering on the features of your side-profile for a few moments. You show him the message:
Sheet music, song lyrics, vibrations, chords, memories of sounds
âVibrations, chordsâŠâ he leisurely reads out aloud to himself, feeling a mix of understanding and admiration course through him. And when he pulls back to look at you, his eyes widen and seem to burn brighter than the city lights outside. He understands. He gets it.
Silence stretches between you again, but it's no longer awkward; it's more comfortable now. Joshua finishes the rest of his ramen, his gaze occasionally darting towards you, and he catches the way you seem to be staring outside as the rain pours down.
He stares outside too, listening to the rain crashing loudly against the window and the occasional burst of thunder that rumbles in the distance. But then when he looks at you, all of those sounds seem to fade away.
He can't tell if you're lost in thought or simply taking in the scene, but there's a quiet comfort in your stillness that seems to draw him in.
As you watch the raindrops dance on the windowpane, a soft smile plays on your lips, and Joshua catches it. He watches you for a moment, then a sudden thought occurs to him. Slowly, he brings his hands up to his ears, covering them completely, and stares back outside. The muffled sounds of the rain and the faint hum of the convenience store fade into the distant background. It's more peaceful this way.
He likes this quietness, especially if it's with you.Â
You face him, tapping lightly on his forearm. Joshua brings his arms down and veers his attention back to you as you draw your hands up, separate and curl your fingers like a claw, before doing a downward motion. He finds himself repeating it as well, head tilted slightly, and then it clicks.
âRain?â he guesses, motioning to the rain outside before signing it again. âThis means rain, right?â
Your eyes widen in victory, a grin curving at your lips, giving him an approving nod. Joshua feels something catch in his throat, but you turn back to the window before he can say anything.
âRain,â he mutters to himself, unconsciously signing the word right next to you. Then he brings his hand up again, shooting a glance toward youđyou're still staring out the window, and the look of content on your face makes his heart flutter a bit moređbefore slowly fanning his hand across his face, as if to sign the word, âBeautiful.â
âI've seen you do better than this.â
The look of disappointment to your art teacher's face is unchanging as he signs to you. You feel your hands mold into each other under the desk, fingers fidgeting as you try to process the criticism. The words bounce off the walls in your mind, and the weight of them settles in your chest.Â
It's not that your painting is badđit's just not living up to the potential he knows you possess. The colours lack vibrancy, the brushstrokes lack emotion. He leans in, his face mere inches from the canvas, inspecting every detail.
âIf you're ever going to put your work in an exhibition, it has to tell a story,â he assures sternly while continuing to sign. âYour art should speak, not just visually, but emotionally. I know you can do better.â
Taking a deep breath, you nod in understanding, though the disappointment lingers. You've been wrestling with this painting for weeks, trying to capture a fleeting emotion, a moment in time that you believed would speak to others, yet you realise you don't have a clear answer. He observes your reaction, and though his expression softens just the slightest, the expectation lingers.
âHeâs probably just in a mood,â Wheein reassures you, hands flying in the air as she signs. âYou know how he is with deadlines.â
âI can beat his ass for you,â Seungkwan chimes in, emphasizing a punching motion with his hands, which makes you let out a quiet laugh.Â
Wheein playfully shoves the younger boy in the shoulders, before snatching away the cup of iced coffee in his hands.
Seungkwan pouts in mock disappointment as Wheein steals a sip of his coffee, but the playful banter manages to lighten the mood a bit.
Wheein hands back the coffee to Seungkwan and gives you a few pats on the back. âYou'll get it right, you always do. Just take a step back, clear your mind, and try again, okay?â
Her words make you faintly smile. It's not a secret that you've been experiencing a lot of pressure for this upcoming exhibition competition at the museum, an opportunity for you to finally get your art out there in the world. But the thing is that there are plenty of other artists also fighting for the spot as well, and never in your life have you felt so stuck, so drained of inspiration, so dried out of colour.Â
You feel a little lighter from the reassurance from your friends, but at the same time, you feel like it isn't quite enough. There's still a part of you that feels heavy insideđwhat if you're not meant for exhibitions, if your art can't truly convey the emotions you want to express? What if you're just not meant for this? What if your art isn't enough to convey the emotions you want to share with the world?
The thought lingers as Wheein and Seungkwan dismiss themselves for the evening, and you're left alone roaming the quiet streets on your way back home. The city's lights begin to flicker to life, casting a warm glow on the dewy pavement, the streets a bit more barren than what you are used to. You try to shake off the doubt at the back of your mind, but it clings to you like the raindrops on the leaves.
As you stop at the pedestrian crossing, you shoot your eyes across the street.
A figure stands tall under the glow of a streetlamp, his features highlighted by the warm light. He's also looking across too in your direction, though it doesn't take long for his gaze to drift and land on you, and suddenly, he's waving at you.
It takes a moment for recognition to dawn on you, but when it does, time seems to stand stillđit's Joshua. He's standing there with his guitar case slung over his shoulder, waving at you. At first you look behind you to see if it was meant for someone else, but when you realise there's no one else around, you feel an odd pull tugging at your heart.
Because he looks... happy to see you.Â
Hesitantly, you raise a hand and give him a small wave back. You notice some contemplation wash over his face, and then you observe as he brings his hands up.
âNice to see you. How are you?â he signs, albeit clumsily and a bit slow, but the effort is cute, and you find yourself lowering your gaze for a moment to bite back a chuckle.
âTired,â You sign in response, and mimic the gesture of rubbing your eyes, a small grin playing on your lips.
Joshua's eyes crinkle at the corners, and a soft chuckle escapes his mouth as he watches your playful sign. He follows suit, pretending to yawn and miming the act of stretching, exaggerating the movements comically. It's a simple exchange, but it breaks the ice, and you find yourself smiling more genuinely now.
He ushers a hand up to his cheek. âHome?â
When you give a nod, the signal light turns green, you make your way across the street, noticing Joshua waiting for you on the other side. As you approach him, you catch the nerves in his eyes. He shifts his guitar case on his shoulder, seemingly caught between wanting to say something and waiting for your lead.
With a small tilt of your head, you gesture down the road, asking if he's headed in the same direction as you. But he shakes his head apologetically, signaling that he's heading the opposite way. For a moment, you lift a brow in question, but then Joshua points to himself and then in the direction you're heading.
âCan IâŠâ Your eyes focus on his hands and lips. âwalk... you home?â
Your breath catches in your throat, but not from any fear or apprehension. A flutter of nerves dances in your stomach, but is quickly overshadowed by a warm feeling that spreads through you.
Hesitation lingers in the air for a moment, a tiny voice in the back of your mind reminding you of the uncertainties. You didn't want him to take a detour just to walk you home, especially since he was heading in the opposite direction. But then you see the nervous tremor in his hands that mirrors your own, and how his hopeful and vulnerable gaze holds yours as if afraid he had crossed a boundary, and the doubt seems to melt away.
And so, with a soft smile, you sign, âOkay.â
As the two of you set off, the silence that follows feels different than the heavy weight of earlier. It's comfortable, expectant, like a blank canvas waiting for the first splash of colour. You steal glances at him, admiring the way the dim streetlights play on his features, the gentle twinkle that shines in his eyes, how cutely comfortable he appears wearing an oversized jean jacket that almost seems to swallow him whole. And then your eyes set on his guitar case, and curiosity fills you.
You gesture a hand at his guitar, and Joshua raises his eyebrows.
âOh, IâŠâ He lets out a nervous, airy laugh, fiddling with his hands as he attempts to sign and explain, âI had to get some guitar strings replaced. One of them snapped on me earlier, so I stopped by the repair shop.â
You flash him a worried look, motioning a finger at his skin.
Joshua just shakes his head, signing back comfortingly, âI'm okay.â
He watches as you tilt your head just slightly, as if in amusement, like you had caught him saying something suspicious.
You type out something on your phone before showing it to him.
The way you sign is funny
Joshua giggles quietly, and he playfully pouts, a small laugh escaping his lips. âThat's mean.â
You feel a warmth bloom in your chest at his reaction, like a tiny seed of affection sprouting. It's almost like he's attempting to paint with his hands, and the shade isn't quite right, yet it blends in perfectly with just a few more strokes.
There are many people youâve encountered in life who have communicated with you through sign language, and you noticed that they all have their own unique way of signing. Whether it was Seungkwan with his more expressive and sharp gestures, Wheein with her dainty and flowy style, or Joshua with his uncertain yet gentle movements, you liked they were all different.Â
Not being able to hear doesn't bother you anymore, not like it used to when you were younger. It used to build walls around you and separate you from the world. Yet now, you've learned to read sounds with your eyes, hear the voices that emit from a simple smile, a frown, an arch of the brow, because there are a lot more people who can hear than those who canât.
But out of all those people, someone was the one to wave first across the street.
Joshua finds himself staring up at the intimidating brick façade of your apartment building. When you turn back to him, you offer him a tentative smile, and there's something different about it that makes his chest tighten.
Finally, you muster the courage, your fingers slowly dancing in the air.
âThank you,â You sign to him.Â
He lets out a quiet chuckle, eyes softening. âHow do I sign âgoodnight?ââ
You nearly hesitate for a second before bringing out both of your hands. You could feel Joshua watching you carefully at the way you bring your right hand up to your chin and then back down to meet the palm of your other hand, signing the word good. Then you flip your left hand so that itâs facing down, and your other hand brushes over it like the sun is setting over the horizon, signing the word night.Â
Joshua watches at the way your hands move gracefully. He follows your movements carefully, a faint smile spreading across his face as he tries to mimic your gestures.
âGood... night,â he repeats slowly, the miniscule dust particles whirling around his fingers as he traces the air. His eyes meet yours, and he could possibly see the flicker of proudness in them. It's a simple exchange, but at this moment right now, it feels significant.
As you unlock the door to your apartment, you turn to look back at him, and he shoots you another wave. Joshua stands there for a moment, watching your door close, before taking in a deep breath to relax the racing of his heart.
Three years ago, Joshua Hong moved away from his family in the hopes of pursuing a music career. It most certainly wasn't an easy decision, leaving behind the familiarity of his hometown and the warmth of his loved ones.
Almost three years later, he might have realised how damn stupid of a choice that might have been.
It's a bit lonely, to put it lightly.
The gigs are sparse, the pay is minimal, and the dreams he once held so tightly in his grasp seem to be slowly slipping away as the days pass.
The journey has been anything but smooth, filled with constant rejections, financial struggles, and moments of self-doubt; and lately these lows seem to be overpowering the highs more than ever. Yet, despite all this, he still chooses to cling to this passion as if it's the air he breathes, because it's something that he loves to do.
Music is the voice he uses when his own isn't enough. He's constantly surrounded by noise, whether it's from the strumming of his own guitar, the sounds of the bustling city, or conversations from strangers that he accidentally overhears when crossing the street.
But then there's the silenceđthe kind that settles in the spaces between chords, in the moments when he puts the instrument down and the world seems to hum a little quieter. It's in these moments that the loneliness can be deafening.
And then there was you.
The melody playing in his mind for the past week is... hesitant, unsure, much like his own feelings. He isn't sure what it is yetđthis feeling that tugs at his chest and paints his cheeks with a faint blush. He only knows that it's connected to you, to the way your eyes narrow in focus when your fingers dance so graciously in the air, and the warmth that spread through him when you thanked him for walking you home the other night.
It was just a simple offer to walk you home, why is it playing on repeat in his mind?
A sigh leaves him as he runs a loose hand through his hair. He tosses away the dirty rag in his hand and stores the cafe's cleaning supplies back and under the counter. The colours of the sun setting outside filters through the large windows, casting orange and red hues on the wooden tables and floor of the empty café.
âYou look like you need a drink,â Jeonghan's voice rings out teasingly, and Joshua could only scoff. âYou still got that gig later this weekend, right?â
Joshua nips at his bottom lip, releasing a sigh. âI've been feeling a little under the weather, honestly, and I don't really have anything prepared.â I feel like I'm losing my touch.
Jeonghan arches a knowing brow. âSince when do you back down from a gig? Just go up there and pour your heart out. It's what you do best.â
âI'm just not feeling it right now, I guess,â Joshua replies with a half-hearted smile, shoulders only taking on a shrug. He pushes himself away from the counter, and just as Jeonghan is about to crawl under his skin, the bell above the door chimes. âWelcome inâŠâ
He should really learn how to control his stomach from flipping when seeing youđthe familiar sight of your paint-smudged canvas tote, the comfort you seem to radiateđbut it's not just you alone. There's a girl who he doesn't recognise there too, with her arm linked with yours, and another boy he swears he's seen a few times... Seungkyung? Seungwan? Seungkwan?
Joshua lets his gaze drift to you, and there's a gloom to your face that he can't quite decipher, a certain apprehension that he notices when your eyes make the smallest of contact. He attempts to get your attention by bringing one of his hands up, and you catch sight of it.
âSame?â he signs, as if asking if you want to order the usual drink that you get.
You meet his eyes, and despite the lingering doubts that have been plaguing you, there's a sense of comfort in the familiarity of him. You nod, and that's all it takes for him to brighten up, his smile breaking through the clouds that seem to hang in the air. He watches as you exchange a few words in sign language with Wheein and Seungkwan, then Seungkwan comes over to the counter to place the order.
Maybe he's just seeing things, or maybe it's his mind overthinking for himđthere's an undeniable shadow around your eyes that he notices when he brings a tray full of fruit smoothies and iced teas to your table. He sets the drinks down carefully, unable to ignore the way your gaze seems to linger on him for a fraction of a second before flitting away again.
You don't seem to be entirely present in conversation, often drifting off before Wheein or Seungkwan would have to nudge you back into reality. Then a ghost of a smile would draw over your lips, attempting to engage in the conversation with your hands, but all the words seem to disintegrate into ashes.
Another tap at your wrist makes you blink, and you turn to see both Seungkwan and Wheein peering at you with worried expressions on their faces.
âAre you okay?â Wheein mouths quietly, signing lightly with her hands.
Seungkwan turns his head slightly, eyeing something behind him, a scowl to his expression before it curves into a slight smirk; his back was facing where Joshua stood behind the counter, taking in orders for another group of people.
âCafĂ© boy?â he mouths to you.
You follow Seungkwan's line of sight, and sure enough, Joshua is there behind the counterđmop of dark hair falling in his eyes, a polite smile playing on his lipsđtaking and preparing orders with casual ease. You feel a gentle tug in your chest, and for a moment, your gaze locks with his. There's a flicker of concern in his eyes as he watches you, before the corners of his mouth tugs upwards, and you quickly avert your gaze, fingers playing with the straw in your drink.
âHe's cuter than I thought,â Seungkwan signs jokingly to you, lifting a teasing brow. âI'd have a crush on him toođow!â
He's met with Wheein's sharp elbow to his side, making him let out a squeaky wince that might have gained the attention of the entire cafĂ©, and she scolds him with a shake of her head and a finger to her lips, but it manages to crack a small smile to your face. Seungkwan only grins in victory, tapping his wrist against his heart and giving a thumbs-up as if satisfied with the response he got out of you.Â
Ah, the benefits of sign language and being friends with two absolute idiots... No one really knows what the hell you're talking about.Â
âYou do think he's cute though, right?â Wheein scrunches up her face cheekily, and you could only let a finger drift across the icy surface of your cup, the cold offering little comfort against the sudden warmth blooming in your cheeks to her words.
You roll your eyes, though your face seems to betray you even more.Â
âYou're not denying it,â Seungkwan adds in, narrowing his eyes at you in a smirk. âJust say you have a crush on him.â
You form a mock-scissor gesture with your fingers, and the threat earns a burst of laughter to leave Seungkwan. The playful jab cuts through the tension, but the truth is, your heart aches a little at his words.
Crush? The word felt alien, yet somehow, it fits. The way your heart skips a beat whenever his gaze met yours, the way his smile warms you from the inside out, the way his clumsy attempts at sign language makes you want to laugh and cry at the same timeđthese were all signs of something, weren't they?
The atmosphere at the table lightens a bit. It feels nice, spending time with your friends and momentarily pushing aside the doubts of your artistic soul and worries of everything else that have been flying in and out of your head.Â
Eventually, the rest of the afternoon wears on, and you somehow manage to survive through Seungkwan and Wheein's (mainly Seungkwan though, unsurprisingly) overbearing and teasing attempts to get you to spill your thoughts on café boy. They give up by the end of it, saying their goodbyes with a tight squeeze of a hug and urging you to keep your chin up. Seriously, you wouldn't know where you would be right now if it weren't for them.
At the back, when Joshua steps out of the restroom, a sudden slap at the wall next to his head startles him back.
âSo I see.â Jeonghan circles a finger in front of his face. âYou're feeling under the weather, aren't you?â
Joshua groans. âDon't you say itđâ
âUnder the weather of loveđâ
âYou're having more customers than before because of me. Don't ruin that.â
âThen stop looking like a lovesick puppy and ask them out already, idiot.â Jeonghan shoves the boy forward with a not-so-gentle push to the back. âor at least invite them to your gig. Maybe you won't feel under the weather then.â
Joshua opens his mouth to retort. âDude, I can't justđâ
But before he can finish his sentence, Jeonghan has already disappeared in the back, leaving Joshua standing there in a puddle of embarrassment. He glances towards the table where you were sitting earlier, seeing that you and your friends have already left, and panic shoots through him.
He's never been good at taking risks, but maybe, just maybe, it's time to change that.
Racing out the door, the cool evening air greets Joshua as he steps outside, quickly scanning the surroundings for a glimpse of your familiar figure. He spots you not too far away, heading down the sidewalk, before quickening his strides. He doesn't know what's driving him, but there's a sudden urgency to catch up with youđto not let you slip away just this once.Â
And when he finally manages to catch up to you approaching the pedestrian light, he finds himself breathless in front of you, heart pounding in his chest and cheeks flushed, still wearing the cafĂ© apron around his body. When he looks up to you, clearly startled by his sudden appearance, he feels the heat crawl up his neck.Â
âI, umâŠâ he starts, voice coming out way more flat to his ears. Then you watch as he brings his hands up to sign. âQuestion?â
You feel your heart pick up its pace. He ran all the way out here to ask you a question?
âI have a performanceâŠ" His face lights up when he signs the right word. Cute. "...this weekend. I was wondering if youâd like to watch it?âÂ
You swear you can see the city lights blinking in anticipation around you, your own eyes fluttering in surprise to his question. He's... inviting you to watch him perform? He knows you won't be able to fully understand him, to hear him, yet he's offering you anyway?
Part of you wants to immediately say yes. The thought of watching him sends a wave of thrills through you, a glimmer of excitement warming the chill wrapped around your heart since leaving the cafĂ©. But the other partđthe cautious and guarded part that has learned to retreat behind walls of silenceđis reluctant.
Hesitation flickers across your features, and Joshua's hands fly in apology.
âYou don'tđif you're uncomfortable or if you have plans, it's okay," Joshua reassures quickly, speaking almost too fast for you to catch everything tumbling off his lips. âI could give you my number and text the details if you decide to come. Just... think about it, okay?â
The streetlight casts a soft glow on Joshua's features as he waits for your response. You glance up to the pedestrian signal, noticing that time is ticking down before you would have to leave, before bringing your gaze back to him.
You swallow a lump down your throat, and give a nod. A faint grin breaks across his face. Joshua fumbles with his phone, pulling it out of his pocket and offering it to you. You swiftly type in your phone number, then hand the phone back to him, and then the pedestrian signal switches to green. It's your time to go. Each footstep you take feels heavier and heavier.Â
Joshua watches you go, but not before you both exchange your habitual waves to each other.
He can get used to that, he thinks.
The colours on your palette just look absolutely wrong.Â
It may just be the lighting playing tricks on your eyes and the exhaustion hanging on your eyelids, but it all looks slightly off-shade, the teeniest tiniest bit cooler or warmer. You frown, dipping your brush into the paint, attempting to mix them until they match the image you have in your mind. But it's like trying to catch sunlight with your bare handsđthe more you try, the more it slips away.
You let out a frustrated sigh, leaning back in your chair, and your gaze wanders to the canvas. The painting stares back at you tauntingly. It's like a stranger's work, not your own. A sense of defeat washes over you.
Groaning, you hop to your feet, untangling the apron around your waist and letting it fall to the ground before taking your paint brushes to the sink in your bathroom. You wash off the paint with a bit too much force, the bristles scraping against the porcelain, almost as if you were trying to scrub away your own frustration. The paint swirls down the drain, the colours blending together into an ugly, murky green before ultimately disappearing.Â
You chug down an entire glass of water from your kitchen, then shut off the light hanging above your canvas. Sprawling on top of your bed, you squeeze your eyes shut, hoping that the walls could cave in and swallow you whole, if only for a moment.
When you reach behind to fish for your phone annoyedly, your eyes nearly bulge out of its skull.Â
You donât even have to read out the entire message for you to jump up from your bed. Your eyes dart from the time displayed at the top of your phone, and to the words jumping at you from the screen.
[06:26PM | joshua hong] Hey it's Joshua! Sorry I know it's a bit last minute, but my performance is supposed to start in about 15 [06:29PM | joshua hong] But I totally understand if you aren't able to attend. It's no problem at all :)Â
And perhaps it's the adrenaline from reading the message knowing itâs from Joshua, because youâre suddenly standing up and racing to the bathroom. You donât understand how you look more disheveled than before, and you can hardly do much to touch yourself up before youâre shrugging, grabbing a jacket, and leaving.Â
You nearly trip on the way out the door, and you could already feel the multitude of curses echoing through your head.Â
Gosh, you can hardly believe how much time has slipped away from you. The stress coming from painting and deadlines has been gnawing at you day by day. Itâs been the only thing pulling you back from doing anything else. Yet with every stroke you bring to the canvas, it feels empty. You feel empty.Â
The streets of the city feel busier than usual, the air thick of your already deteriorating patience, and an unnerving anxiety gnaws at your insides.Â
You don't have to attendđyou know it's a choice you could make, but why does the thought of not seeing him perform make your heart clench? Why does the thought of simply not seeing him make your steps quicken even more?
The doors to the bus ahead slam shut the second you stride up to it, and your hand comes up to pound at the heavy metal surface in anger. With a huff, you step back from the edge of the street, ignoring the stares being shot towards you by passersby while watching as the bus pulls away, leaving you standing uselessly on the sidewalk.
A person almost bumps into you once you turn around. Every taxi that you attempt to grab is immediately taken. You blink back some heat in your eyes, arms wrapping around your body as if trying to mask away the sinking feeling at the pit of your stomach. You brush past a sea of shoulders and weave through the bustling streets of the city. Seriously, why the hell is it so busy right now?Â
But even as you continue to float your way through the crowded streets, you could feel all the hope at getting to Joshuaâs performance deflate. The day really wasnât all on your side right now, and it all seems to rain down weights at your feet, slowing you down with every step you take.Â
Why does it matter? You ask yourself inwardly, skepticism knitting at your brows. Why does his performance matter so much?Â
A sharp nudge at your shoulder blade makes you wince. And when you bring your eyes back up, you suddenly realise youâre the only one left standing at the pedestrian light, watching as the sea of people ahead of you cross without any worry. The other side seems so close yet so far.Â
Your gaze flickers up at the seconds counting down, your thoughts thinking back to Joshua, and you suddenly find yourself darting across the street.
Joshua's brow twitches faintly when his calloused fingers strum at his guitar strings.Â
Itâs a bit warmer this evening, the air feeling strangely muggier than usual. The note that leaves his guitar sounds slightly off-tune, but he doesnât get himself to fix it. Instead, he hunches over to aimlessly grab at his guitar case right at his feet, snatching the coins he may have missed picking up before beginning to pack everything up.Â
Joshua glances around the beautifully lit-up busking area, eyes scanning over the dwindling crowd. Itâs a relatively small, circular area making up the heart of a tiny social sphere surrounded by local markets and restaurants. Despite that, thereâs an emptiness lingering around him, one that feels awfully familiar yet more noticeable than ever before. He gazes back down and pockets the coins with a practiced shrug, a movement that barely hides the disappointment nagging at him.
When a coin slips out of his grasp, he bends down to retrieve it. But as heâs about to come back up, a shadow seems to loom above him, and the outsole of a shoe nearly steps on his fingers.Â
Joshua picks his head back up, half-expecting for it to be a complete stranger and totally not half-hoping that it would be⊠you, hunched over and out of breath.
âY/N?â he asks, swiftly putting the coin away. âYou came.âÂ
You only give an imperceptible, apologetic nod at his words. Joshua glances around for a moment, before looking down at his guitar, and back to you.
He scratches the back of his neck bashfully. âYou just missed it.â
A thin line forms at your lips as you sign, âIâm sorry.â
âThereâs no need to be sorry.â Joshua waves dismissively with his hands in a slight panic. âYou must have been busy, right?â
You smile faintly at that, nodding once more, before taking out your phone to type:
I wanted to come
Once Joshua reads it, you see the way his eyes widen ever so slightly. âYou did?â
The curve at your lips lifts even more, but just barely. Joshuaâs head falls down for a minute as he peers down at his feet, attempting to hide away a grin threatening at his own face, before looking back up at you and clearing basically nothing in his throat. He tucks his hands in the pockets of his jeans.Â
âIâm glad you came,â he says, a sweet, appreciative tone to his words. You canât hear it but you can see it in the way his eyes seem to smile as wide as his lips. âI was⊠kind of hoping you would show up. Not⊠not in a weird way or anything! I justđI think I would have felt a little more confident if you were here. A face that I know.âÂ
Your face scrunches together in a bit of worry and a pinch of surprise, but Joshua just shakes his head and chuckles it off.Â
The two of you stand there for a few moments. Itâs really your first time being right in the centre of the busking square. Fairy lights hang on the few trees that dot around the area. You could see some small and large groups of people huddling nearby, presumably watching other performers performing, but you and Joshua just stood adrift in your own little bubble, like two stars separate from their own galaxies.Â
The fairy lights cast a warm glow on Joshua's face, highlighting his hair that was floofed out in soft wisps around his forehead. You watch the way he runs his hand through it before taking a deep breath and returning to packing up his guitar. You casually wander close, looming over as you observe him in curiosity.Â
Once Joshua slings his guitar back over his shoulder, he turns back to you.Â
âAre youâŠâ he starts to ask while signing. â...going back home now?â
You glance down at the time on your phone, pursing your lips together lousily. You should probably head home to start back on your painting, but thatâs not what your thoughts are telling you to do, nor your heart. Or maybe your entire body, in fact.Â
âIf you are,â Joshuaâs hands catch your attention again, then you focus in on his lips. âcan I walk you home again? Like last time? Itâs the least I could do since you ran all the way here. I have to give some worth to your effort, right?âÂ
You almost swear you could read the playfulness on his features, like the way his eyes crinkle subtly at the corners, or even in the way his head is tilted unnoticeably.
You can get used to that side of him, possibly.
You only abruptly turn around, leaving Joshua puzzled for a second, before heâs snatching the rest of his belongings and jogging to catch up to you. Then the two of you are walking side by side just as all the times before, the distance between you closing naturally.Â
The world youâre used to is already quiet, silent even, but itâs different now. Joshuaâs presence is loud, not in sound, but in the way it seems to comfortably fill the space around you. You donât really know how to describe it without sounding awfully obvious that⊠you like when heâs around you; or, you like when youâre around him.Â
His guitar case occasionally bumps your hip at his side, and his every attempt to create more space only seems to bring him back to the tiny amount of distance between you two anyway. Then Joshua switches carrying the case from one shoulder to the other, and as he does, his free hand briefly brushes against yours. The touch is fleeting, but enough to send a jump to your stomach. He quickly looks at you with a sheepish grin, muttering an apology that you can't hear but can easily read in his expression.Â
The night air is cooler now, a gentle breeze rustling the leaves overhead and causing them to fall to the ground like feathers at your feet.Â
Joshua feels a light tap at his arm, and he turns to see you showing him a message on your phone.
Did your performance go well?Â
He smiles nimbly at that, but you can tell in the way his eyes seem to cast a shadow over his face that he's not entirely satisfied. He only nods slightly, a noncommittal gesture.Â
âIt was alright,â he says while signing, fingers moving reluctantly. âThe crowd was small, and I wasnât at my best. But itâs okay.âÂ
You frown a little, and the way he casts his head down to the ground makes your chest squeeze.Â
âMaybe it was good that you didnât come,â Joshua mumbles under his breath, and you hardly catch what he was saying, but you could sense the diffidence emitting from him. âWouldnât want to disappoint you either.âÂ
Both of your footsteps slow down ever so slightly as you approach a familiar street corner, the dim glow of a lamppost shining down on the two of you. Joshua notices the pensive expression to your features as your fingers dance across your phone screen.Â
You hesitate for a moment before showing him.Â
You tried your best. Thatâs all that matters
Then youâre abrupt to take your phone away before Joshua could process your words, typing something else again before flipping your phone around for him to read.
You wouldnât have disappointed me
Joshua stares at the simple message. A hearty sound seems to bubble out of his chest, then another, and another, before it turns into a brief fit of coughs and a mix of laughter altogether. You canât help but giggle at his reaction. It's light and airy, like wind chimes dancing in the breeze, and it feels like breaking a sound barrier you didn't even know existed between the two of you.
When he returns his gaze to you, he grins again, beaming even, a sliver of teeth expressing relief and a newfound confidence.Â
âThank you,â he tells you. âThat means a lot to me.âÂ
You nod your head coyly, and before Joshua can say anything else, youâre already turning around and beginning to walk. Yet just after the first few steps, a boom of thunder echoes in the distance, and a raindrop lands at the top of your head.Â
You stop and turn to see Joshua racing after you, and he stops right next to you.Â
âRain,â he simply signs. âItâs raining.â
And then, the two of you donât even have to say anything before youâre running through the incoming rain together. You try to run as fast as you can without looking back because you know that Joshua is behind you, the rain beginning to fall down heavier and heavier as you dart through the streets and into the area where your apartment is located.Â
Joshua stops right at the entrance, the same place where he had stopped last time. He watches as you continue to dash away from him, before coming to a halt, and turning around to notice him standing there under the pouring rain.Â
Raindrops plaster in your hair and clothes as you face Joshua standing at the entrance of your apartment building. His hair is damp and matted to his forehead, damp clothes clinging to his frame as the rain running in rivulets down his face. Despite the downpour, his eyes meet yours with an unwavering gaze.
âAre you alright?â he signs nearly frantically, and you squint your eyes to be able to see him more clearly.Â
While catching your breath, you motion for Joshua to come closer, shielding yourself under the small awning of your apartment building. He hesitates for a moment, glancing around as if assessing the situation, but then heâs jogging up to you, joining you under the small shelter of your building that could probably only fit two people.Â
Both of you stand there as you watch the rain pour down to the earth in front of you. Then you glance at Joshua, and then at your apartment, then back outside again. He canât go home in this rain right now without a singular bit of protection.
A tug at Joshuaâs sleeves makes him turn to face you, softening at the way you look so concerned yet⊠cute in your own little way. Â
Without any thinking, you gesture towards your apartment, as if silently offering him an invitation.
The surprise on Joshua's face is clear. His eyebrows shoot up, and his mouth falls open slightly. He glances back at the downpouring rain, then back at you with uncertainty.Â
âAre you sure?â he asks.Â
You nod again, even opening the door for him and waiting for him to step inside. He hesitates again, but the apparent adamancy on your features brings some warmth to blossom through his chest. He fixes his guitar case on his shoulder and steps past you into the dry hallway, water from his hair and clothes dripping down to the ground.Â
Joshua follows you down the narrow hallway toward your apartment door, his shoes squeaking slightly on the tiled floor below, a slip of nervousness with every step he takes. The hallway is dimly lit, with a faint aroma of incense lingering in the air. You unlock the door and hold it open for him, gesturing for him to enter first. And as he steps past you, heâs immediately greeted with the warmth of your place.
You take off your own shoes right after him as he stands somewhat awkwardly in the middle of your apartment. Itâs smaller than he imagined, but itâs enough for him to recognise glimpses of your personality scattered around. Itâs cozy, minimalist, yet itâs home to you, and thatâs all that matters to him.Â
You appear back in front of him with a towel in your hands, and you hold it out to Joshua, who takes it from your grasp gratefully. He starts to dry his hair and face, the towel absorbing the rainwater and providing some warmth against his skin. As he does so, he steals glances around your apartment, catching sight of an easel holding up a large canvas.Â
There are other paintings on your walls too. He smiles to himself as he steps closer towards the canvas, the painting appearing unfinished and a bit weathered with all of its strokes, but nevertheless eye-catching, filling him with wonder about what the finished product may look like.Â
You emerge from your bedroom and scan around the room, and when your eyes land on Joshua, you find him peering down at your unfinished painting, a thoughtful expression on his face as he cards through his hair with the towel. He turns to you, eyes widening at the sight of you in a set of new, dry clothes, then shifts his gaze to what you're holding.
Itâs an oversized, grey hoodie, and it proudly displays the name of the museum that you frequent. You hold it out to Joshua with a shy look. He sets the towel aside and takes the hoodie from your hands. Immediately, you take a deep breath and face yourself away to let him change, and Joshua watches as you disappear into the small kitchen area, giving him a moment of privacy.
After propping his guitar case next to your easel, he strips off his wet shirt, replacing it with the dry, oversized hoodie. Itâs warm and extremely comfortable, smelling like itâs been freshly washed with a scent hinting at lavender, and instantly offers the relief he needed after running through the rain earlier.
Then Joshua gazes around your apartment again. Thereâs a bookshelf lined with art books and tiny succulents, a small couch with a knitted blanket draped over its arm, and a table with a collection of paintbrushes, unused palettes, and an endless collection of bottles of paint. Itâs a different sight than what heâs used to, thatâs for certainđheâs used to microphone chords being tangled together, the worn leather of his guitar case at his fingertips, and the hum of music drifting through his life.Â
The sound of your footsteps echoes softly from the kitchen, drawing Joshua's attention away from his thoughts. You're holding two mugs in your hands, steam curling up from the brims, and the scent of herbal tea wafts through the air. You carefully hand one to him, before settling on the couch, snugly tucking your legs underneath yourself. Joshua follows suit right after, sitting down right next to you while taking a steady sip from the warm tea. He feels the warmth seep into his fingers as he cradles the mug in his hands.Â
He glances at you, noticing how relaxed you seem all curled up on the couch, the soft light casting a gentle glow on your face.
Joshua leans down to set the mug back on the table, catching your attention.Â
âThank you,â he mouths quietly, signing to you.Â
You offer a small nod in response, then take out your phone to type:
Is it still raining hard outside?Â
Joshua leans back on the couch to listen, narrowing his eyes intently. He still hears the rain outside, but it seems to have calmed down quite a bit. Yet the thought of him staying longer in your place makes his ears burn hotter than the steaming cup of tea in his hands.
He turns back at you and nods his head, knowing itâs a bit of a white lie but deciding that itâs worth staying just a little longer with you. He watches the way your face shifts into a contemplative look.Â
Your fingers dance along with your screen once more.Â
You can stay until it stops
âAre you sure?â Joshua questions incredulously. âI donât want to be a nuisance.âÂ
You shake your head firmly, the smile playing on your lips widening just a touch. It's clear in your eyes that youâre genuinely telling him itâs okay, and that assurance softens something in Joshua's chest. He glances down at his mug on the table, staring at the way the steam curls up into the air like delicate wisps.
It feels almost natural to do thisđto sit here under the excuse of sheltering away from the rain, but really, it's a bit more than that, more obvious than what you both assume. For some reason, itâs easier to be around each other than sitting alone in your separate worlds of sound and art.Â
When Joshua drinks the rest of his tea, he catches a glimpse of his guitar case standing right next to your easel, and a light flickers on his head.Â
âSince you missed my performance,â he starts to say, signing a bit flimsily and unconfidently. âI was wondering if I could⊠maybe sing for you?âÂ
You cock your head to the side, curiosity piqued. âSing?â
âSing.â Joshua copies right after you. He remembers when you mentioned that even though you canât hear, you can still feel the vibrations, read the chords and lyrics, and enjoy the music like others.
And while he feels nervous, the way his heart flutters at the thought of you listening to him sing makes him feel a bit⊠hopeful, confident, like he told you before. He likes to think that your presence alone is much more comforting and reassuring than a group of strangers gathered around him in the busking area.Â
Joshua takes a deep breath, before standing up and fetching his guitar gently from its case, resting the instrument on his knee. The rich scent of wood fills the air as he tunes it, deftly plucking each string with practiced fingers until it comes to the correct note. You could only watch in awe, glancing between the guitar and his focused expression. His brows knit together tightly and his eyes come to a close for a few momentsđyou canât seem to tear your own gaze off him.Â
When he finishes tuning, he opens his eyes, seemingly noticing how attentive youâre to his every move. A faint blush creeps up his neck, and he casts his eyes down for a moment before meeting yours again. He clears his throat awkwardly, adjusting the guitar strap on his shoulder.
âCan IâŠâ he begins to ask, holding out his hand towards you. You peer down at it, noticing how it hovers expectantly between you.Â
As your hand is about to brush against his, Joshua gently takes your hand with his own, his calloused fingertips meeting your soft ones briefly. He guides your hand on the body of his guitar. Your fingers rest lightly against the smooth wood, feeling the vibrations as he strums a few chords softly.Â
Your eyes widen as you look back up at him, surprised at how vivid the sensation is right at the ends of your fingers.Â
âYou can read my lips too.â Then he pauses, before continuing, âif you want to, at least.âÂ
With that, he plays a few chords, the vibrations running through the guitar and to your hand, even down your body. And when his lips start to move, you try to focus on his every word, watching the shape of his mouth as he sings.Â
For years, youâre used to reading sound with your eyes. Sure, youâve touched instruments, like the piano in the music room during elementary school or the drumset you would see backstage before a school concert. But no one ever played themđnobody ever played for you.Â
So when you read from your eyes, thereâs always that second of disconnect when you blink, and the inner anxiety that you could miss even the tiniest detail of the music. However, everytime you blink now, you could feel Joshua singing and playing right at the ends of your fingertips, as if he was telling you that itâs okay to keep your eyes closed without worrying, simply because he was right there.Â
This is what passion looks like on someone else, and for some reason seeing all that unfold before you makes it all more beautiful.Â
You notice Joshua closes his eyes or peers down sometimes when he gets more focused, yet it doesnât take anything away from his singing. The way his fingers effortlessly glide over the strings of his guitar, or the subtle lift to his lips when heâs singingđyou know that his heart is completely in it.Â
Itâs beautiful. Heâs⊠beautiful.
The song ends before you hardly notice. You keep your hand resting on the guitar, the vibrations still buzzing ever so slightly on your fingertips after Joshua strums the final set of chords.Â
Joshua shifts uncomfortably for a moment, his gaze flickering between your eyes and the guitar in his lap. He scratches the back of his neck, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips.Â
âDid you... like it?â he asks tentatively while searching your face, signing the words as he speaks.
You merely blink up at him too, as if youâre still stuck processing everything and nothing all at once, before nodding reassuringly.Â
Joshua's expression softens with relief, his shoulders relaxing visibly as he lets out a quiet sigh. He glances down at your hand still resting on his guitar, a certain warmth spreading through his chest at the way you're looking at him.
âYou felt it, didn't you?â he asks quietly. âThe vibrations?â
You consider nodding again, but instead, you reach back for your phone to type.
It was beautiful. I havenât felt music like that in a long time
Joshua canât help but smile to himself, and thereâs no point in trying to hide it anymore when he does. He likes knowing that heâs happy around you, likes feeling himself be happy around you. Itâs a feeling that feels easy, natural, like he doesn't have to try too hard.Â
He gently places his guitar back in its case, the soft click of the latch echoing in the quiet room. You notice his fingers linger on the case for a moment, before he turns back to you.
âI think that I was right about what I said earlier,â he affirms, and there seems to be content hinting on his features. âabout feeling more confident⊠when youâre around. I just wanted to thank you for that.â
Of course, he was nervous, anxious if anythingđbut in between all that nerves was the comfort of someone who listened to him more intently than any audience ever could.Â
Joshua clears his throat and peers around after setting his case back down, trying to brush off the fact that youâre sitting way more closer to him than before. Youâre typing something on your phone again, the bright screen emitting on your face and making you bat your eyelashes together.Â
You lightly tap on his shoulder to get his attention, showing your message:
You can always practice here, if you want
âPractice? Here? You wantđI can practice here?â The disbelief in his face makes you purse your lips together endearingly. âI hardly ever have the chance to practice because Jeonghanđmy roommateđis sick of me being loud, at this point. Iâve been saving up to move out, but itâs been hard.â
When he realises how fast he spoke and the way youâre watching him closely, all he does is smile faintly.
âIâll be sure to use the opportunity wisely,â he assures you, and thereâs that lightheartedness back on his face again.
Your knee rubs against his when you stand up to put away the empty mugs back in the kitchen. It gives Joshua the chance to look around your place again, and his eyes settle on your unfinished painting on the other side of the room.Â
âCould youâŠâ he starts to ask once youâre walking back to the couch, his fingers moving unsurely in the air. âCould you tell me about your paintings?âÂ
At first, thereâs a bit of hesitancy in your movements. But the genuinity you see in his gaze seems to tug at your heartstrings more than ever. You show him a message on your phone:
As long as you tell me about your songs
Joshuaâs eyes light up at your message, a grin spreading across his face.Â
âItâs a deal,â he says.
You could probably count the individual dust specks floating in the sunbeams pouring inside the classroom.Â
Warm water trickles down your hands and into the sink below as you rinse off some paint brushes, before placing them in a discoloured, paint-covered bucket right beside you.
The museum has a variety of art classes, mostly for people who aspire to get their artwork shown in exhibitions. You arenât any different from themđyou all seek the same goal, which is to be heard and recognised for your work; this small inkling to be known or even vaguely known by someone.
Once you finish cleaning up, you dry your hands on a rag and take a moment to look around the desolate classroom. The smell of paint and the sight of easels and canvases everywhere feels like home, but lately youâve been questioning if itâs actually home, or just a temporary refuge. The question nags at you as you gather your belongings to put in your worn-out tote bag.
Stepping out of the classroom, you start to walk through the nearly empty museum, passing by hallways with art ranging from contemporary, to modern, to as far back as the classics. Youâve probably been through these halls a countless number of timesđretaining everything from the title of the piece to the artistâs name and techniqueđand you would still be in utter awe.Â
However, just as you reach the main area of the museum, a figure peering up at a painting catches your eyes. The guitar case that hung on his shoulder stuck out like a sore thumb among every other person in the room, and the sight makes you chuckle to yourself because you recognise Joshua instantly.Â
You stand there for a moment, observing him from a distance as he studies the painting with a thoughtful expression. His fingers tap lightly against the strap of his guitar case, and you feel like if you focus even more, you could possibly see the thoughts wrapping around his head.Â
Joshua glances at his phone for a millisecond before turning around, abruptly stopping when he sees the sight of you standing not that far away from him. The corners of his lips lift into a gentle smile upon seeing you, or his face seems to almost brighten up entirely, you can hardly tell. He brushes a hand through his hair before offering you a small wave, which you reciprocate back with one of your own without any hesitation.Â
Thereâs a rush of warmth that flows through you as he approaches up to you.
You stare at him quizzically as you lift your hands up to sign, âWhat are you doing here?âÂ
Joshua shoots a bashful look down at his own feet before picking himself back up.Â
âI wanted to see you,â he says quietly while signing, and his hand movements are as shy as his words.Â
His words hardly process for a few moments, and Joshua thinks he might have overstepped. The hopeful glint in his eyes dims subtly, replaced by a shy apology already forming in his hands at the shock to your features. Maybe wanting to see you was a bit too forward of him.Â
But itâs the way your hands nearly come in contact with his own to dismiss his worries that stops him mid-apology. You shake your head slightly, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.Â
âIâŠâ You start, then pause, because Joshuaâs focused, unwavering, yet patient gaze tugs at something inside of you. Gathering your thoughts, you continue signing slowly, âI thought about seeing you too.âÂ
A surprised, somewhat choked laugh escapes Joshua's lips, a sound as light and unexpected as what you just said. Relief washes over him, clear as the day outside and the sunlight streaming through the museum windows. He seems to hold his breath for a moment before a grin splits his face apart.Â
âReally?â he signs back, and itâs cute seeing how expressive he is when heâs surprised.Â
âYes,â You reply back firmly, hopefully being able to emphasize it enough with your fisted hand.
Joshua rubs at his nose nervously, and even the gesture being so small feels charming somehow. The weight of your art supplies feels lighter in your bag than they have in a while.Â
âI have some time before practice though,â he shares, pondering lightly. âWould you like to grab a bite to eat first?â
Your lips lift at the offer, and you scramble a hand in your bag to retrieve your phone. But your fingers fumble, encountering only paint brushes and sketchbooks. Panic starts to rise in your chest as you frantically dig deeper within your bag. Your phone. It's not there. Itâs probably back in the classroom.
You shoot an innocent look at Joshua, catching sight of his worried, furrowed brows. You try to explain to him with your hands, but your movements are hurried and you could tell he didnât entirely understand. So you settle with a helpless shrug and a motion towards a deeper part of the museum, and he seems to catch on.Â
Joshua feels the hesitation in his step when he sees you turn around and begin walking away. Considering for a second, he catches up to you quickly, the sounds of his shoes bouncing off the museum floors.Â
He follows right next to you quietly, taking in the museumâs atmosphere as you navigate through the familiar halls. When the two of you reach a room, you hold the door open for him, and Joshua swears he hasnât really seen anything like this before.Â
The room is large and very open, the natural lighting from the outside flowing in from the windows. Unused easels and canvases stood at the corners of the room. Thereâs a long, wooden table perched in the middle of the room, and a whiteboard that takes up a small portion of the wall. Joshua takes the time to look around as you dash to the cleaning station where you were putting up the supplies, and there was your phoneđsitting idly with a few drops of water on its screen that you wipe away.
Joshua is standing with his arms crossed at the whiteboard, eyes squinting as if he was trying to discern the faded markings. You stand right next to him once you come up, bringing your gaze also to the whiteboard.Â
He turns to you, seemingly inquisitive. âIs this an art class?â
You manage a nod. But you feel like it isnât enough of an answer and decide to pull out your phone instead.Â
Itâs an art class for the deaf, and for those who want to show their work in the exhibitions here
Joshuaâs mouth opens in awe as he reads the words on your screen. A flicker of understanding lights up his eyes as he processes the information.
âThat's amazing,â he tells you while signing back, expression visibly softening. âI had no idea they had classes like this here. How long have you been coming?â
He watches as you look back down to type on your phone, taking the few seconds as a chance for his eyes to drift over your features, silently taking in the concentration etched on your face. When you finish typing, you show him the screen.Â
Just for the past year. Thereâs only a few of us in the class. Sometimes Iâm the only person who shows up though
âAh,â Joshua only hums contemplatively. He glances around once more, as if trying to see the room through your perspective. âThat must feel lonely sometimes.â
You nod, letting out a low sigh as you type out your next message:
It can be. But it's also peaceful. Gives me time to think and create without any distractions
âI get it.â Joshua nods with a small smile. âYouâre dedicated. I admire that.âÂ
Your heart swells a little at his words. It's always a vulnerable thingđsharing a piece of your world with someone else, but Joshuaâs presence seems to make it all a little less daunting, a little more comfortable.Â
Joshuaâs eyes settle on a corner where a few canvases lean against the wall, seemingly forgotten or awaiting their turn under someoneâs hand. He steps closer to it, running his fingers lightly over the rough edges of one of the frames, then turns back to you.
âDo you have any of your work shown here in the museum?â he asks curiously.Â
A rush of emotions floods through you, a frown caressing your faceâpride sprinkled with uncertainty, hope clouded by doubt. You've always dreamed of showcasing your work, to be recognised and understood through your art. However, you feel a twinge of self-consciousness creeping in, because the dream of one day having your work displayed alongside the masterpieces lining the museum walls feels both distant and impossibly close at the same time.
Sensing your shift in mood, Joshua raises his eyebrows in question. You fumble with your phone again, typing out a response and showing it to him.Â
Iâm not sure if my work is good enough for that
Joshua's expression softens even further. âBut you wouldn't keep creating it if you didn't believe in it, would you?â
Oh, heâs got you there, you think. A certain warmth starts to spread through you at his perceptiveness, a twitch at your lips from a suppressed smile trying to break free.
âAnd even if you donât believe in it right now,â Joshua starts, placing himself right next to you gazing down at the empty canvases waiting to be touched. âI believe in you. I mean it.â
You exhale softly, a weight lifting off your shoulders as you absorb his words. For the first time in a while, you begin to see your art through a different lensânot just as smears on a canvas, but as a reminder that this is something you love.
Itâs been a while since someoneâs said that they believe in you, and it hits you right in the heart.Â
âIs the painting in your place the one you want to finish for the museum?â
You nod in response to that, though the sullen look to your face doesnât seem to exactly agree.Â
Thereâs an exhibition being held just a few weeks from now, which is also the deadline for submitting your painting, which was being judged. The pressure has been getting to you, admittedly, and it feels like time is slipping away faster than you can paint. But maybe, just maybe, youâll get back home later today and pick up your paint brush without it feeling like a burden to hold.Â
Joshua says something you donât catch quick enough when you face back to him, and you tilt your head in question.
âIâm not sure if I did the sign right.â And then he brings his hands up, signing to you, âGood luck.âÂ
Heat crawls up your neck to his words, and a smile fights its way through the lingering uncertainties and stretches shamelessly across your face.Â
His hand comes awfully close to yours when he brings them down to the side.Â
You draw yourself away when you feel your phone vibrate in your hand, only seeing that it was some useless notification. Joshua fixes himself up as well, turning to you fully, and you both exchange shy grins.
âFood?â He brings his hand up to his mouth, almost mimicking like he was putting a piece of food there.Â
You adjust the strap of your bag and double-check to make sure you have your phone with you, before nodding. The two of you head out of the classroom together.
âSo what youâre saying is that youâre both basically dating.âÂ
The way your face scrunches up in visible disgust to Seungkwanâs words has Wheein shoving the younger boy with a daggered stare, nearly making the stick of tanghulu fall from his grasp.Â
âYou canât just claim that,â Wheein retorts back.
âHe walks Y/N home! Heâs been inside their place! He wants to see them! Y/N doesnât even let us come inside their place these days and yet hereâs this guy waltzing his way into their heart!âÂ
âI canât tell if youâre insulting him or thanking him,â Wheein points out playfully, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms.Â
âI'm not doing either,â Seungkwan protests, feigning a snarky look. âI'm just stating the facts. If it walks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it's probably a duck.â
At this point, your friends are speaking almost too fast for you to catch everything being said, but all you could do is bring your head down and gaze to your footsteps, a subtle, amused grin playing to your lips. Theyâre arguing about your life, and yet it makes you feel⊠acknowledged, seen, heard, because your world before seemed to revolve solely around you and your art only for the longest you can recall.Â
An adamant tap lands on your shoulder, and you bring your head back up to face Wheein.Â
âIsnât the exhibition next week?â she asks, signing with a sense of urgency in her expression.
Your face falls a little, and the thought of the deadline and exhibition seems to loom over you like a dark storm cloud. It feels like yesterday you were just staring at a blank canvas, and now every inch of it is covered in a mess of colours that is undeniably far from what you can consider a masterpiece.
Wheein and Seungkwan could already tell by the weak nod that you give that youâre feeling the pressure of it all. The two of them exchange a knowing look with each other, and it isnât long before you feel another tap at your shoulder. Wheein motions to something up ahead, and as you face forward in order to see what it was, a hand grabs at your sleeve and you find yourself being dragged forward by your two best friends.
You can hardly control where your feet are landing in front of you, and the only thing you could catch ahead is a crowd and the familiar sight of what appears to be the busking centre. There must be some kind of performance going on, and it peaks your interest.Â
The faces surrounding you are all bleeding out enjoyment, with their wide eyes and mouths blossomed into large grins. Their hands are all clapping in unison, some even mouthing the words to lyrics you can hardly make out.
You donât recognise the small band thatâs performing. But then you imagine Joshua being the one at the centre of the crowd, playing his heart out, captivating the audience just like how he captivated you, and the disappointment melts away.Â
You find yourself standing at almost the core of the crowd, with Wheein and Seungkwan clapping and cheering animatedly on either side of you. In an odd way, this position feels familiar, as if youâve stood from this exact same angle before.
You're close enough to see the raw energy pouring off the musicians, the way their instruments become extensions of themselvesđthe same as Joshua sitting across from you on the couch with his guitar in lap, eyes closed in concentration, and fingers dancing effortlessly along the strings. The memory of that night floods your mind, and you can almost feel the vibrations of his music under your fingertips once again.
It all brings a smile to your face.Â
As the music surrounds you, you can see the passion radiating from each band memberâs face, carrying away the weight of the upcoming exhibition and the pressures you've been feeling. In this moment of respite, it's just you, your friends, and the music.
When you get back home to your apartment that night, you find yourself focusing on clicking through the photos on your camera roll, almost like you were searching for a particular one.Â
And then you find itđthe photo you took at the busking square all those weeks ago, the photo you took of that man singing and strumming along his guitarâŠ
âŠthe photo that you took of Joshua Hong, where you didnât know his name at the time. And now, heâs standing in the middle of your thoughts, and singing directly to your heart.Â
Itâs almost suffocating to be sitting in this chair right now. Your posture is stiff as a rock, legs shaking underneath your hands that were folded on your lap, other peopleđother artists just like youđsurrounding you like flies.Â
You feel excruciatingly hot in your outfit, a formal one that you picked from the depths of your wardrobe that still somehow fits your body still. Itâs been a while since you put this much effort into your appearanceđyou can hardly remember the last time you dressed up like this, honestlyđand the unfamiliarity of it all prickles at your skin.Â
The day of the exhibition is more chaotic than you expected for it to be. Itâs practically held to the public, where almost anyone can walk in and watch the event for themselves.Â
Across the vast room, you catch glimpses of other artists, seeing their diverse styles of clothing. Thereâs a woman with a shaved head and a tattoo snaking down her arm; at the far end, a man in a crisp suit, frown etched at his face, large glasses, with a neatly trimmed beard.
The walls are covered with various works of art, each piece representing the countless hours of dedication and passion of the artists. Itâs a grand showcase, bigger than any small ones youâve seen. The large hall that youâre standing in has been temporarily transformed into a visual showcase where curators and critics would walk around and judge the pieces. By the end of the night, only about half of the submissions would be considered to be permanently displayed in the museum. The thought makes your stomach churn with anxiety.
Joshua had sent you a simple Good luck! Youâll do amazing :) text before you arrived at the museum. It comforts you a little bit, but not entirelyđyou feel like youâd feel better if he could be here with you in person. He couldnât come because he had to look after the cafĂ©. Wheein was also here somewhere too participating in the exhibition, clearly not anywhere near where you were placed in the vast hall.Â
The exhibition begins with a formal speech from the museum's director, who talks about the importance of art in society and how this exhibition aims to bring fresh perspectives to the world. As the speech concludes, curators and critics start moving around the large room, closely examining each piece and approaching all the other artists.Â
Your eyes follow a few as they approach your painting. They stand before it, whispering among themselves, their expressions indecipherable. You wish you could hear their thoughts, but instead, you focus on their body languageđthe subtle nods, the thoughtful gazes. Some of them barely have their lips moving for you to be able to read them, while others are simply not speaking at all. At the corner of your eyes, youâre able to make out a few artists speaking with confidence to the curators, explaining their creative process and the message behind their pieces. Disappointment claws anxiously at your chest.Â
The sign language interpreter that is supposed to accompany you doesnât show up until after a few crucial moments with curators have passed. By the time she arrives, introducing herself and quickly apologising for the long delay, youâre already feeling a sense of defeat settling in, struggling to muster the enthusiasm in your hands as you greet her back.
You have a hard time connecting with some of the visitors who stop by, heart sinking even more when they pass by your painting without pausing. Their attention is clearly drawn elsewheređthatâs all you can think about as you watch them move on; their indifference is practically slicing through the air like a knife.Â
Itâs like youâre invisible.Â
In the back of your mind, you figured this would happen. It wasnât entirely your best work, or the best youâve put your efforts in. For some reason painting didnât come as naturally to you as it did before. If anything, it felt forced. The pressure to create something worthy had left you with a piece that felt uninspiring, meaningless.Â
You arenât meant for this. This grand exhibition hall, the feeling of being judgedđit all felt like a journeyâs away from the joy you used to find in simply creating. The other artists around you seem to belong in this environment more than you do. They stood proudly beside their work, and all you could do right now was let the lump in your throat tighten even more.Â
You arenât meant for this.Â
By the time the big announcement comes, you catch a glimpse of the evening sky outside the large windows of the museum. A hush falls over the room as the museum director steps back forward. Even as you let your eyes drift between the director and your interpreter right next to you, you already knew deep within you that the night wasnât ending in your favour.Â
âWe congratulate all the artists whose works have been chosen,â the director says warmly, listing off names that resonate through the hall. Each name being called is met with applause and cheers.
Your name isn't called. You would know if it was if the expression on your interpreterâs face wasnât so solemn, the meek curve at her lips that she wears doing hardly anything to ease you. Despite the sinking feeling, you send her a small, acknowledging nod, offering a tight-lipped smile of your own.Â
Wheein finds you when the evening starts winding down and the museum begins to clear away. She taps lightly at your shoulder as youâre packing your belongings, yet the eager look on her face is quick to fade once she sees the dejection painted all over yours.Â
âYouâre not going to stay for a while?â Wheein asks, signing with concern, her brows furrowing as she watches you continue to pack your things. âI heard thereâs an after dinner event later on, and theyâre letting anyone join. Maybe you could meet some of the other artists!â
Letting out a quiet exhale, you shake your head, the movement small and defeated as you sign back, âGoing to head home. Tired.â
âAre you sure?â Wheein insists. âI was planning to introduce you to some peopleđâ
âItâs okay,â You sign quickly, interjecting her words. But the pout and puppy-eyes that she gives makes you roll your eyes. âCongratulations. Iâm so proud of you.âÂ
A grin is swift to cross her face, and a few seconds later sheâs wrapping her arms around you in a tight hug. You return the hug back, feeling a bit of your disappointment melt away in the face of your genuine happiness.Â
âI'll text you later,â Wheein signs after pulling back. âPlease get home safe, okay? I love you!â
The dramatic kisses she blows in your direction make you laugh despite yourself, and you nod, giving her a small wave as you head out of the museum.
The cool night air nips at your cheek when you step outside, and you feel way less constricted in your clothes than being inside the museum. As you walk briskly down the street, you let the night clear away your muddled thoughts. Your feet seem to guide you, almost on autopilot, not quite ready to head home and face the solitude thatâs waiting for you.
You pass by a few late-night cafĂ©s, convenience stores, and small shops, their warm lights spilling out onto the pavement.Â
The sight reminds you of Joshua.Â
And for some reason, thatâs all it takes for your feet to pick up its pace. Thereâs almost determination you can feel in each step that you take, the thoughts of the exhibition pressing farther and farther into the back of your mind. If thereâs anything that could make you forget everything that has happened today, itâs just seeing him for a moment. A singular moment.Â
The lights of the cafĂ© switch off when youâre coming up to it. You come to a halt in your tracks, and your gaze lands on a lone figure stepping outside with its back turned towards you.
After a minute or two, the figure turns slowly, and you recognise Joshua's face illuminated by the fading light of the cafĂ©'s sign. There's a moment of hesitation before he notices you standing there just a couple of steps away, and when he does, his features seem to light up even brighter than the flickering stars above. But itâs quick to melt away when he watches the way youâre trudging up to him.
His eyes flicker over your face for a moment. âWhat happened?âÂ
You could see the worry in the way he signs to you, his eyes searching your tired ones. He peers at you so softly that it nearly makes your heart ache. But thereâs a comfort there that you desperately find yourself wanting to cling to.
Without a word, you simply lean your body forward, letting your head fall onto Joshuaâs shoulder. His presence emits a warmth that brings you back from the high of cloudy thoughts and back down to the surface of safety.
Joshuaâs eyes widen imperceptibly for a second, before a quiet understanding washes over his face. His arms twitch at the weight of you leaning on him, and then almost hesitantly, he slowly wraps them around you, fingers brushing against the small of your back tentatively, delicately, as if unsure its welcome.Â
His warmth seeps through your clothes and settles comfortably within the hollow spaces of your chest. You can feel his heartbeat, steady and reassuring, against your ribs, and smell the lingering scent of coffee on his shirt. A sigh escapes your lips, a soft exhale that contains the tension and worries accumulated throughout the day.
Joshua doesnât press you. He can feel everything you feel in his embrace, everything you wish to let out. He can feel your dejection, your disappointment, knowing that your efforts, all the blood, sweat, and tears you put into your art had fallen short of your dreams. But he doesnât pry or question. He simply holds you, and perhaps thatâs all that matters right nowđhe canât let you fall apart. Not in his arms, anyway.Â
You donât know how long the two of you stand there, right under the dim cafĂ© light that casts down on your figures. When Joshua feels you shift in his hold, he loosens his grip ever so slightly, gaze caressing over your face for a few moments. His eyes hold a tenderness that makes your breath hitch.
Thereâs a reluctance in your movements as you start to peel yourself away from him. Joshua slowly lets his arms unfold from around you, but his hands linger for a moment, as if hesitant to fully let you go just yet. His expression remains gentle, silently asking if youâre okay; if thereâs anything more he can do.Â
âIt didnât go well, did it?â Joshua asks warily. âThe exhibition?â
All you do is shake your head, and a small resigned sigh tumbles out of you.Â
Joshua purses his lips together, brows knitting together in worry. He knows the sting of rejection all too well and how deep it could cut.Â
âIâm sorry,â he mutters quietly, fingers moving with a grace through the air that matches the empathy in his eyes. Heâs been getting more confident recently in his signing. âBut it doesnât mean your art isnât worth anything. You tried your best, and maybe thatâs what matters. Remember what I told you before?â
You tilt your head in question, waiting for him to continue.Â
Then, all Joshua does is smile faintly, before picking his hands up to sign. He starts by putting his hand in a fist and sticking his pinky finger upward. Then he points his index finger to his forehead, before bringing it down into his open hand. Next he fixes his right hand downward, forming the other one into a cup shape, and dips the fingers of his right hand into it.Â
And finally, he points to you.Â
âI believe in you.âÂ
The words fly off his fingers and wrap around you like a blanket. The proud look that he captures on his face is washed away in a fit of timidity, and you canât help but chuckle, a genuine, warm sound that fills the night air, even if you didnât notice how loud it is. It's the first real laugh you've had all night. And when Joshua hears it, a blush creeps up his neck, reaching to his cheeks. A relieved smile spreads across his lips.Â
When you gaze back up at him, the weight of the day feels a little lighter. Slowly, you lift your hands up to sign, ensuring each movement is clear and deliberate.Â
âI missed you.â
Joshuaâs expression softens even further. He watches your hands, then meets your eyes, understanding completely. He lifts his hands to respond, fingers moving tenderly through the air, and responding with his voice,
âI missed you too.â
taglist (open) ÊÉ @haowrld @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @eternalgyu
@lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @ryuwonieebae @wonwooz1
@mark-geolli @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @aaniag @wootify @carlesscat-thinklogic23
@phenomenalgirl9 @mirxzii @bookyeom @parkjennykim @melodicrabbit
@bewoyewo @honglynights @bananabubble @treehouse-mouse @starshuas
@totomoshi @armycarat2612 @etherealyoungk @maesvtr0 @gigification
fic taglist (open) ÊÉ
@iamawkwardandshy @hope122598 @bokk-minnie @writingmeraki @lllucere
@gaslysainz @intoanothermind @chariseiswriting @sarranghao @minvxq
@lullips
#k-labels#caratsland#caratlibrary#seventeen imagines#seventeen fluff#seventeen x reader#seventeen fic#joshua imagines#joshua fluff#joshua x reader#joshua fic#joshua hong imagines#joshua hong fluff#joshua hong x reader#joshua hong fic#hong jisoo imagines#hong jisoo fluff#hong jisoo x reader#hong jisoo fic#svt imagines#svt fluff#svt x reader#svt fic#svt#seventeen
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911 fandom we need to talkâŠ
Only a few months ago Buck kissed a man for the first time. It was the beginning of his bisexuality journey. Since he started this journey with T*mmy, we all naturally and logically called the ship BuckT*mmy and started calling the people who shipped them BuckT*mmies.
Throughout the months a lot of other shipnames came into use for the ship, but most of them stuck to the name BuckT*mmy.
For a few months now however, it has started to become increasingly obvious that most of these BuckT*mmy shippers arenât really BuckT*mmies, but just Tommies. They arenât part of the BuckT*mmy fandom, but the Tommy fandom. They donât care about Buck. For them it's all about Tommy (and Lou). They have proven that time and time again.
Ever since Thursday weâve gotten the ultimate proof of this. These people have, once again, resorted to threats, harassment and vile accusations. This time at the address of Oliver, Ryan and even Tim.
They are making vile racist comments about having Ryan deported even when the man is born and raised in Texas. They are accusing Oliver of biphobia and homophobia while Oliver has been nothing but kind and understanding towards the bi community while portraying Buck. They are also talking about deporting Oliver back to the UK and writing him off the show to bring in Lou again to play Tommy. Some of them have talked about figuring out where Oliver lives.
This has gone too far!
These people arenât BuckT*mmies. They never were. They don't give a sh*t about Buck. So from now on Iâll be calling them Tommies. Instead of talking about the BuckT*mmy fandom, Iâll call them the Tommy fandom. Ali suggested using this name from now on when we talk about these people. These are her words on this:
âWe need to stop calling them BuckT*mmy. This has never been about Buck so just call them Tommies because that's all they've even been. I'm going to make it into a new way to call someone racist.
I just don't want Buck associated with it in any way. It has never been about Buck for these people. They are Tommies and that has nothing to do with Buck or Oliver.â
Spread the word by reblogging this post and actively start using the term Tommies and Tommy fandom when you talk about the former BuckT*ommy shippers and their fandom. If you want to tag your posts, start using the tag Tommies and Tommy fandom when you talk about them. Or use the anti-tags if you prefer. They donât have the right to use Buckâs name anymore after all that has happened.
Actively stop using the (anti) BuckT*mmy, (anti) BuckT*mmies, (anti) Tev*n tag when you do tag something. If people donât want to read about that fandom, thatâs fine. They can just block the tags/words: Tommies, Tommy fandom, anti Tommies and anti Tommy fandom. It takes less than a minute to block them all.
REMEMBER:
BuckT*mmies -> Tommies
BuckT*mmy -> Tommy fandom
anti BuckT*mmies -> anti Tommies
anti BuckT*mmy -> anti Tommy fandom
Personally I will start using the new anti tags from now on when I address or talk about these people.
I am not planning on spending too much energy and time anymore on talking about a part of fandom that has totally lost the plot. I'd much rather talk about the T*mmy-free future of the show.
I will keep addressing some asks about the Tommies topic, but mostly I'll be moving on to brighter and better things. Such as Madney being pregnant again, Eddie's self-discovery journey and where this might lead him (hopefully right into Buck's arms đ) , Buck's journey to figure out what his bisexuality truly means for him, Henren's happiness with having Mara home where she belongs and last but not least, Bathena building their new house and home.
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HEY!
all these tweets were made for me and me only, but then i thought! why not share these? so be warned! itâs all horribly ooc, self indulgent, and canon is my bitch
the only ocs are civilians, every other character is canon in some way. also! everyones id is secret unless stated otherwise
finally the au itself is a mixture of many dc media. There will be NO lore or angst, at least for the time being. itâs a crack au!
MASTERLIST:
part 1 [carrie kelley!!]
part 2 [the REAL third robin! and⊠jarro]
part 3 [gacha phase]
part 4 [bf to bff]
part 5 [lore goes crazyyyy đ„]
part 6 [verification]
part 7 [best friend?]
part 8 [fast typer]
part 9 [children]
part 10 [big family]
part 11 [public ids and time travel]
part 12 [dayshift]
part 13 [among us]
part 14 [stolen users and priv shenanigans]
part 15 [suspended]
part 16 [manga]
part 17 [speedsters]
part 18 [zesti cola]
part 19 [only in fawcett]
part 20 [dinaholliearrow ftw]
part 21 [arrowfam vs jason]
part 22 [smash or pass]
part 23 [family tree complications]
part 24 [the return of jason]
part 25 [game theory (donâs version)]
part 26 [jasonâs favorite]
part 27 [its an assortment]
part 28 [west twins]
part 29 [arrowfam vs young justice]
part 30 [batfam shenanigans]
part 31 [time rip]
part 32 [another assortment]
part 33 [names]
part 34 [news coverage]
ships currently canon: clark/lois, oliver/dinah, barry/iris, wally/linda, ace/emiko, tim/bernard, duke/isabella, dick/koriandâr, stepanie/cass every other ship is implied because why tf not
tags: [#oocDC tweets] [#oocDC yapathon] [#oocDC polls] [oocDC faq] [admin art]
ADMIN'S STRAWPAGE
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Mc that wants a secret relationship
This is from an ask/request from @notemejellyfish (tagging so they'll see it sooner). I went in another direction than their headcanons on the same topic, but that's not to say that theirs aren't good. They're a great writer, check them out.
Satan
He understands it
Kicks everyone that tryes to make your relationship public
He would still like if he could brag to Mammon about his relationship with you. Just Mammon, he swears.
Would take away the phone of anyone that ships you with anyone
He preferes smaller scale dates anyways, so just cuddling with you while you both talk about random subjects works just fine for him
He cares deeply about you so he'll always keep your prefrences in mind
Mammon
Why though?
That's his only thought
Don't get him wrong, you're his master, he'll do anything you tell him to without complaints
But he wants to know if something is bothering you about being seen with him in public
He can't have his master feeling self-concious, now can he
After you explain that it's due to all the shipping he can't help but laugh
Really? That's easy to fix
Tartaros is the main internet provider in Hell, so he'll ask you if you want all the shipping forums to get removed
He'll try to keep the relationship a secret no matter your answer to the previous question
He's never been in one before and he always wants to try out something new. The feeling of adrenaline at potentially getting caught makes him shudder and he's grateful you gave it to him
Leviathan
Omg finally
The shipping was getting on his nerves, probably more than it did to you
He's so glad you finally made a smart decision, the second in your whole life (the first was dating him)
Since the monarchies in whb are absolute, he bans the use of any tag that includes your name from Hades
Sends a petition to do the same in the other countries and I think only Avisos would sign it (not only is it illegal to steal people's love there, but Bael had enough war threats sent his way from Hades)
He was planing on having a secret, low-scale relationship with you in the first place, so he's the happiest about this change
Beelzebub
He takes this as an invitation
Oh, you want the relationship to be secret?
He can make that fun
He'll make out with you in changing rooms, grope you at the back of the club, pin you to a wall in a small alley and sniff you
He likes the danger of potentially getting caught
Also, just because your relationship isn't public doesn't mean that he won't glare down anyone that gets too close to you
Just because you don't want the internet to know about it doesn't mean that he'll be less passionate and protective of you
Whenever you're out on dates he'll use his power to discuise the two of you, that way, he can be as open with his affection as he likes
He's one of the few that minds the secrecy of your relationship, but he mostly sees it as a new challange
Lucifer
Ok
He'll curse all cameras to shatter when taking a photo or recording of you
It's simple and affective
Gives Gamigin some lectures on how to lie and there's that
Everyone in Paradise Lost might know that you're dating Lucifer, but they're not allowed to say anything about it
And, since no devil would go to Paradise Lost willingly, there's no chance of the secret getting out
He's probably the safest to have a secret relationship with
Nobody in the other countries likes him enough to call for chit-chat, so even if you were in a regular relationship people would still be surprised when they heard you two were dating
#whb#what in hell is bad#shipper au#whb satan#whb mammon#whb leviathan#whb beelzebub#whb lucifer#whb x reader#sorry for the hiatus
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DRAGONQUEER/DRAGONPUNK
Emojicode : đČđđ„/ đđđ„
LINK TO THE OFFICIAL DRAGONQUEER/DRAGONPUNK CARRD
A new label! Dragonqueer/dragonpunk (either name works, same thing!) is a queer stance about not being afraid to show how prideful you are about yourself, not being afraid to show yourself, or at least have a desire to want to express how you TRULY are and give the bird to the societal norm standards and those that hate you, existing to spite them; dragonqueer/dragonpunk beings can still live in caves (be closeted) too, however. A major aspect to dragonqueer/dragonpunk is also hoarding a shit ton of labels that describe yourself! Dragons love their hoards :)Â
Due to history of dragons, they are seen as either evil and terrifying or benevolent and kind. Dragonqueer/dragonpunk aims to be both; be punk, be scary, be yourself, be unforgiving for who you are while also being a kind-hearted and loving being. There are dragons of all kind; western, easter, wyverns, wyrms, hydras, and so there is too in queer communities. Whichever kind of dragon you are is completely up to you, and you alone; you decide who you are.Â
Dragonqueer/dragonpunk supports/believesâŠ
LGBTQ+, MOGAI, LIOM, etc.
Xenogenders, neopronouns, etc.
Neoagabs/xenoagabs
Good-faith labels
Systems of all origins
Arissomei, desirdae, chronosians, aldernic, aldersex, allions, vesil, vior, xenonatured, eiment, etc.
Otherkin, therians, non-humans, alterhumans, etc.
Neurodivergent, mentally ill, disabled beings
Beings with munchausen's syndrome, factitious disorders, etc.
HypersexualsÂ
Gender hoarders / gender collectorsÂ
Multigender / polygender / etc.
Safe and anti-contact paraphiles (not acting on illegal shit??? This should make sense.. If its harmful. Dont act on it.)
Microlabels
Atypical dysphoria
PLUR
M-spec lesboys, turigirls, etc.
Contradictory labels
SystemarchyÂ
Pluralpunk/systempunk
Furries
Age/pet regressors
MAD pride
Reclaiming labels you can reclaim (queer, dyke, fag, freak, etc.)
Anti-psychiatry
Being endogenic/willogenic is not the same thing as being âtranspluralâ
Educated self-diagnosis
Fiction affects reality
You can be trans without dysphoria
You can be a system without trauma
OC x canon is epic as long as its legal
Objectum and robosexuals
Supporting ex-cops, ex-gov, ex-military, ex-radqueers, ex-transids, etc. that have left their community and wish to recover
Abortion rights, womens rights, animal rights, etc.
Atheism
Kink at pride (when there are no bodily minors)
BDSM (as long as everyone consents and there are no bodily minors)
recovering/ex-religious beings
Consentual recovery for those that want itÂ
Supporting victimsÂ
Dragonqueer/dragonpunk does NOT support/believe...
Harmful and pro-contact / neu-contact zoophiles, pedophiles, necrophiles, etc. (yet again if its harmful dont fucking do it)
Minors in nsfw communities, minors in kink, or having public kink where minors are around
That âall men should dieâ or âall women should dieâ
Harassing innocent cishets
Active radqueers and transids/transx
Terf, radfem, transmed, sysmed, etc. views
Harmful religion
Demonizing or stigmatizing disorders
Singlets in syscourse
âSuperstraightâ
Heavy political views, such as conservative and liberal
Proshippers, comshippers, darkshippers, etc. (how hard is it to say no illegal, abusive, etc. ships holy shit)
Lolitas and shotas
Racism or prejudice of ANY kind
Ableism
Forced recovery
Mental asylums
Exclusionists
Bigots
Dragonqueer/dragonpunk is neutral on...
Religion in general (dragonqueer/dragonpunk is inherently atheist)
catqueer
THIS IS THE OFFICIAL DRAGONQUEER/DRAGONPUNK. PEOPLE THAT WANT TO "RECLAIM" THIS LABEL WILL BE FACED WITH FIRE !!!
@ghosting-plural-userboxes thought you'd wanna see this, just comment if you want us to remove your tag from this post ^-^
#mogai#xenogender#corporatecoinings#xenogenders#xenogender blog#xenogender safe#queer stance#queer#queer community#blankqueer coining#< hope thats not a rq tag#< someone tell me if it is or not#dragonqueer#dragonpunk#liom#liom term#liomogai#mogai label#mogai community#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbtq community#đČđđ„#đđđ„#dragonqueerđČđđ„#dragonpunkđČđđ„#dragonqueerđđđ„#dragonpunkđđđ„
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Rescue Hound Chapter One
Kione Monax, a mercenary pilot, is hired to rescue the captured, brainwashed Sartha Thrace. But getting her home and healing her mind prove to be very different things - and Kione's feelings for the hero threaten to pull her into the darkness when she discovers just how malleable Sartha can be
A new Warhound story!! The preceding stories can be found at this tag
If you enjoy my work and are looking for more, or you want to support me, I strongly encourage you to check out my Patreon! I Â write erotica full-time, which means I need your patronage to keep creating, and my Patrons also get benefits like early access to my stories, extra stories, and the ability to vote on what I write next! So, if that sounds good to you, head over and join the couple hundred patrons I already have :)
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Nothing makes Kione Monax feel good the way being saddled up in the cockpit of a huge mech suit does.
Cause it pays really, really well. Duh.
Provided youâre the best, of course. Kione doubts any of those fifth-rate Imperial grunt pilots they never seem to run out of get paid more than a pittanceânot that theyâll ever live long enough to spend it, if sheâs the one theyâre up against. But Kione? Sheâs the best. Nowadays, at least. And that means she can name her damn price and the rebels will pay it, no matter how sour the looks on their faces when she comes to collect.
Itâs not all about the money, obviously. Kione would be the first to admit that there is a very clear and distinct pleasure in being the very best. To ruling the battlefield like a queen. To tapping into the merciless rhythm of combat, and feeling the beat change when she decides itâs the moment - the moment to kick her Theaborosâs reactor into the red and soar, allowing herself just a single moment to drink in the stupefied, upturned, defeated faces of her prey before she puts them out of their misery.
Fuck, itâs good. It really gets her hot.
But itâs not better than money, because money was what had bought her the Theaboros and its wings, and its state-of-the-art systems, and its fresh coats of paintâfor vanity, although sometimes she lies and calls it âbrandingââand all the fancy drinks she buys for the very best hookers before she buys them too. Thatâs what life is all about. Not principles. Lots of people get big, stupid ideas in their heads once theyâre sitting behind the controls of a sixty-foot mechanical god. If your ideas are big enough and stupid enough they start calling you a hero, and Kione is very, very determined not to end up as one of those. They always die bad.
Thatâs how scumbag mercenaries like Kione wind up as the best.
Hey, merc, comes a terse voice over a shitty, crackling radio, just as Kione finishes planting the charges, you better be in position.
Kione sighs quietly to herself before she answers: âI am. Plan B is in place.â
Good, says the girl on the radio. Get ready. And remember: no work, no pay.
Kione rolls her eyes. Why do people always feel the need to remind her? Contrary to popular slander, mercenaries arenât cowards or turncoats. Any mech-for-hire who pulls that kind of shit just saw their very last payday. And besides, Kione refuses to help out the imperials. Just out of self-interest, of courseâthereâs no place for free spirits like her in the kind of world theyâd like to build. Sheâs bloodied their noses more times than she can count, and youâd think that would win her some actual gratitude from the rebels she fights alongside.
Hell no. Kione had fought with unit after unit, recruit after recruit, and each one proves to be just as naively idealistic as the last. They all think theyâre put here to save the world, and they hate that Kione knows sheâs only here to make some hard cash. The girl barking orders at Kione over the radio is one of those. An idealist. A firebrand. Sheâd flashed Kione a nice, mean look before theyâd shipped out. Stars in her eyes, hell on her lips.
Kione knew then and there sheâd have to fuck her, once they made it back. It wouldnât be hard. Girls like that always went for her once they saw first-hand how good she was. She went for them, too. She just loved to make them choke on her.
Sheâs here. Cut the chatter. Everybody focus.
At once, Kione lets go of her sleazy fantasies and gets herself back in the zone. Not for the first time, she wonders about the targets. How many? How well-equipped are they? Guess sheâll find out soon enough. Not that she can see shit right now, hanging from the underside of this colossal bridge.
Itâs a good place for an ambush and a great place to get yourself killed if a thousand tons of reinforced concrete come down on your head before you know whatâs happening. Thatâs why Kioneâs there. Thatâs the truth of mercenary work: you get the real shit jobs. The ones they donât expect you to walk away from.
Suits Kione just fine. Sheâll groan and grumble until they pay her double, then prove sheâs worth every penny.
For now, though, thereâs only waiting. That gets to Kione the same way it does to every soldier. Eventually, her mechâs sensors pick up vibrations. Footsteps on the bridge above. Another machine. A pretty big one, tooâbut only the one, which prompts some serious fucking questions. Who the hell are they ambushing here? A high-value target, clearly. Maybe an imperial higher-up. But those donât fly solo. A pilot, then? Some ace? Itâd have to be. Kione canât think of any other reason theyâd pay her fees for a gig like this.
It has to be someone good. Someone only she can beat.
Kione finds herself grinning.
More waiting. The target is moving slow. A nice, steady march. It gets closer, and closer, and closer, until Kione can hear each step; can feel them reverberating through her body. Until the enemy is directly above her. The enemy mechâs footfalls are heavy and almost familiar. Despite everything, Kione is all but bursting with anticipation. She loves getting to put a rival ace in the dirt. Nothing better. But she knows she needs to be patient. Sheâs not the first wave. Sheâs the coup de grĂące.
The radio crackles again. Now! Open fire!
An instant later, the air trembles with the report of a dozen guns. The rebels scattered themselves across the bridge, each pilot picking their ambush spot to secure kill zones and neutralize cover. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. The rebels donât have a lot of advantages over the imperials, but this is one of them: theyâre good at this kind of guerrilla shit. As the barrage wears on, Kioneâs grin starts to slip. Sheâs beginning to think they wonât need her after all.
Then, one by one, the guns go silent.
Kione can pick out each machine as it goes dark, just from the sound. No two rebel mechs are alike; consistent supply and production lines are a fleeting fantasy so each machine is somebodyâs pet project, customized according to parts and needs. That makes it all too easy for Kione to count.
One down. Two down. Three down.
What the fuck?
Itâs hard to believe, but Kione can hear it happening. Up above, the enemy mech pounds the bridge with its footfalls. That thing must be moving like a hound out of hell, dodging beams and missiles, throwing itself at one rebel after another. Its engine is deafening; an insane scream of tortured metal and unholy combustion that fuels the carnage. Screaming is just about all Kione can hear over the radio, too. The rebelsâ comms discipline has broken down. They canât make sense of how fast it's gone wrong.
Merc! Where the fuck are you?
Thatâs her cue. Itâs the momentâand with a worthy foe, too. Kione canât stop herself laughing nastily into the radio as she retracts the anchors keeping her attached to the bridge and slips into freefall.
And again, when she punches âstartupâ on Theaborosâs flight system.
Mechs canât fly, yeah? Everyone knows that. It just doesnât make a lot of sense. You want to fly, you get in a plane. Youâd need a stupid amount of thrust to get something as big as a mech suit in the air. A big engine wonât help. The tyranny of the rocket equation will murder you. Weight means fuel, fuel means more weight. The aerodynamics would probably be shit too. And thatâs not even getting into the economics problem. Nobody can spare that much reactor fuel for just one machine. The best way to square the circle would be to build the entire thing out of some kind of crazy cutting-edge superalloy, but those are hell to get and worse to maintain. No; a flying mech would be a ridiculous vanity project. The imperials would never sanction it, and the rebels could never afford it.
Good thing Kione Monax has never worked for free a day in her life.
It helps that she built Theaboros smartâor at least, paid other people to. Itâs a slender beast; tall, upright, almost human-like in its posture. It weighs a fraction of most of its rivals, and so when it spreads the six sleek, silver pinions mounted on its back, Kione can actually feel them catch the air. Every little helps when youâre fighting gravity.
But what really, really helps is the state-of-the-art antimatter reactor surging to life and pumping out a steady stream of anti-Fermion particles that singe the air around her mech a deep, unearthly red as they annihilate and, for just a fraction of a second each, keep the fundamental forces of the universe at bay.
With that on her side? Fuck yeah, Theaboros can fly. And Kione falls a little more in love with it every time.
It flies now, with her gripping the joysticks, gliding the unnaturally nimble machine between cables and tresses as she boosts clear of the bridgeâs superstructure and tilts up, pulling a tight loop that brings her down onto the deck, ready to give her target the surprise of a lifetime.
Except, no.
Kione is the one left with her jaw on the floor when she sees who sheâs up against. All at once, she realizes she was wrong before. Itâs not someone only she can beat, because itâs the one person she never ever managed to beat, in all the long evenings they spent sparring together.
Itâs Sartha.
Itâs Ancyor, anyway. Or most of it. Actually, itâs more like Ancyor died and came back wrong. The base frame is still there; Kione can tell as much from that dragging, lupine gait as it lurches across the bridge. The exoskeletal armor is the same too. If anything, it looks even more beat to hell than usual. But beneath that, itâs all wrong. The reactor. The weapon systems. The raised, pneumatic hackles that augment those deadly claws. Theyâve all been replaced. Upgraded. Imperial tech. It gives Kione the creeps. Itâs like someoneâs wearing her dead friendâs skin.
Whatever theyâve done to it, itâs clear Ancyor has lost none of its effectiveness. In its terrible, wake, Kione counts four of the mechs she shipped out here with lying in shattered, ugly heaps. They went down bad. Catastrophic kills. If anything, it looks like Ancyorâs pilot took special pleasure in plucking out and crushing each cockpit. That really gives Kione the creeps. Even Imperial pilots usually donât sink that low.
At least she knows itâs not Sartha in there.
Unsurprisingly, the remaining three rebels have gone to pieces. Theyâre backing away, giving up the only tactical advantages they haveâprepped positions and unit cohesionâand the radio channel is full of little more than panicked screeching. The squad leader, the girl who was barking at Kione earlier, is trying to instill some kind of discipline. Itâs not working. Sheâs too young. They all are.
Take her down, damn it! she yells, when she sees Theaboros land. This is what weâre paying you for.
âYou got it,â Kione mutters.
In all honesty, sheâs weighing up the pros and cons of simply hitting the bricks and running. But she reminds herself: this isnât Sartha. Just a pale imitation.
And besides, thereâs money on the line. Duh.
In any case, the choice gets taken away from her when Ancyor turns its awful snout in her direction and starts barreling toward her.
âShit!â
At once, Kione kicks her mechâs flight system into high gear. She manages to get enough thrust to pull up and clearâbut only just. Ancyor is even faster than the last time they fought. Kione wheels around in the air to find her target, extending and clasping her long spear in Theoborosâs right hand. Once the weapon is deployed, its tip starts glowing red-hot as her systems reroute surplus reactor heat. Kione would prefer to keep Sarthaâs hellhound at a comfortable distance, but CQC is the only good way to finish a fight sure and quick.
As soon as Kione sets her sights, she realizes that Ancyor has already turned to look up at her. Silently, four openings appear in its torso. An instant later, four wire-guided harpoons are coming right at her.
Thatâs new. Fuck.
Two of them, she manages to dodge. One, she bats aside with the flat of her spear blade. But the fourth, kept on target by tiny thrusters, buries itself in one of Theaborosâs long, slender legs. Thatâs not good. The damage itself is fairly negligible. Whatâs not negligible is Ancyorâs massive weight as it pulls the wire taut and starts reeling her in.
And, at the same moment, launches itself into the air with enough force to crack the concrete under its feet.
Kioneâs display is filled with warnings sheâs pretty sure sheâs never seen before. She dismisses them with a furious gesture, but all she sees on the viewscreen afterward is the ruin of Ancyorâs face coming at her at an insane speed. No time to cut herself free, and no aerial maneuver Kione can think of is going to make a damn bit of difference with another mech weighing her down like an anchor.
So, stupidly, she does the only thing she can think of: she points her jets in the opposite direction and blasts herself straight down toward Ancyor.
Fifty feet in the air above the bridge deck, two meteors collide.
Ancyor has sheer mass on its side, but Theaboros has gravity and thrust. Kione is no rookie; getting her head knocked around in the cockpit isnât going to ruffle her. Sheâs focused on what counts: getting this damn dog off of her.
Itâs not easy. Ancyor is scrambling all over her, its wickedly sharp chain-claws working to find purchase. Itâs clear whoeverâs behind the controls knows Sarthaâs style. They want to keep the two mechs bound together, grappling, where Ancyorâs sheer savagery makes it invincible.
All Kione can do is wield her long, elegant spear like a brawlerâs stick, keeping it between them, leveraging them to try and force Ancyor away. Unfortunately, Theaboros isnât great at this kind of contest of strength. Itâs just not built for it. Desperately, Kione uses the flight systemâs jets to throw the two of them into a series of loops, heads over feet, hoping the g-forces will destabilize the beast.
Of course, itâs just as likely that what happens is that Theaboros goes down face-first into the bridge.
Splat.
But maybe itâs working. Ancyor is starting to peel off. The harpoon comes loose and one of its arms slips, windmilling through the air. Kione presses the advantage, wrenching her spear around to make Ancyorâs grip untenable. After one last lunge that goes clean past her shoulder, Sarthaâs mech is sent tumbling back down to earth where it belongs.
Wiping sweat from her brow, Kione grins. Get down, dog. The sky is all hers.
Then she notices the warning lights. She stops grinning as she realizes that last lunge didnât go clean past her shoulder at all. It hit exactly where it was meant to. It ripped off one of her goddamn wings.
Ah. Well, thatâs really not good.
Theaboros isnât dead in the air. At least, not quite. But the thing about wings is: however many youâve got, you probably donât wanna be on less than that. Lest she choke her reactor to death, Kione is forced to ease off and touch down on the bridge. Once her baby has cooled off, she should still be able to pull off a trick or two.
Merc? You still breathing?
Kioneâs glad radio girl is still here. Judging from the guns Kione hears, her surviving squadmates are too. Maybe they can still do this.
âI have a name, you know,â she grunts.
Yeah? Get us back to base in one piece, maybe Iâll think about learning it.
Kione cackles at that. She likes a girl who can keep her head.
âYou can buy me a drink instead,â she tells her. âYou already know my name. If youâre not careful, Iâll make you say âpleaseâ when you use-â
She cuts herself off when she sees whatâs about to happen.
Kione never takes her eye off the ball, but itâs taken her a moment to stop seeing white. Now that she has her sights on Ancyor again, sheâs realizing itâs not nearly as debilitated by its fall as sheâd hoped. It always was freakishly tough. And itâs doing the worst thing it possibly could. Worse even than coming at Kione again while her flight systemâs cooling down.
Itâs going after the easy prey.
In a single bounding leap, Ancyor hurls itself at the rebel currently spray-and-praying it with ineffective beam fire. The poor bastard freezes up, and Ancyor lands squarely on their shoulders.
It doesnât need weapons. Its weight does the work. Even Kione flinches from the crunching sound.
No!
Itâs radio girl. So much for keeping her head. Maybe she knew them well. Maybe itâs just one loss too many. Either way, because sheâs one of those rebel idealists, sheâs doing the brave thing. The stupid thing.
Breaking cover. Trying to save her comrade.
Idiot. Thatâs exactly what a predator like Ancyor wants
Thereâs some distance between the two of them, but nothing Ancyor canât cross in the blink of an eye. Itâs happening half the bridgeâs length away. Theaboros has a rifle, but the stopping power is nowhere near enough. Kione can already see exactly whatâs going to happen. Radio girl is going down. No chance her last squadmate sticks around after that happens, which leaves Kione trapped in a one-on-one. Not good odds.
So, the right move is obvious: ditch. Now. The missionâs a bust. Losing Kioneâs pay is better than losing her life. As long as she takes off right this second, she should be able to make it out clean.
All sheâs gotta do is outrun the other rebel, right?
Kione sighs. Itâs an easy choice. But hereâs the rub: she really was looking forward to that drink with radio girl.
So much for letting the reactor cool.
As Theaboros throws itself forward at her command, Kione punches the reactor straight back into the red. The thrust alone has her in the air; Kione works the flight system with a masterâs touch, pitching her machine slightly off-axis to compensate for the wing she lost. Itâs a rough ride. Her babyâs running too hot. The wingtips are starting to disintegrate. Antimatter annihilationâs a bitch. Kione doesnât want to think about how much the repair billâs gonna come to this time.
Instead, she just grins.
You thought your ride was fast, Sartha? Think again.
Ancyor lunges. Radio girl is right under its outstretched claw. Theaboros is hurtling toward them at a truly unwise speed. In the cockpit, Kione is rattling around like crazyâbut she doesnât let up. She only has a fraction of a second. No time to shoot, no time to strike, no time to parry. Only time to do something dumb.
Theaboros rams into radio girl shoulder first, shoving her out of the way. She raises her left arm in a feeble bid to fend off their attacker. The impact with the rebel mech wreaks havoc on Theaborosâs frame.
And then Ancyorâs claws rip her arm off.
Shit.
No time to take stock of the damage. No room to get her balance. No heat overhead to spend on a boost. Ancyor just keeps coming. It switches targets to Theaboros without missing a beat. Kione stumbles back just barely out of reach, wheeling her spear in a furious series of parries and ripostes.
Not furious enough. Nothingâs as furious as Ancyor. It matches Kione step for step, blow for blow. Only a matter of time until one of them lands home. Kione grimaces. At least radio girl is free and clearânot that thatâs worth much. Canât get paid if youâre dead, and sheâs sure starting to feel dead. Theaboros has taken up too much damage to put up an even fight.
Kione snorts, despite everything. What, is she making excuses for herself?
Thatâll look great on her tombstone. Kione Monax: it wasnât fair.
It stings that itâs not even true. Now that sheâs at the right distance to get a good look at Ancyor, itâs plain enough that it took a fierce beating in the rebel ambush. Radio girlâs crew wasnât so bad after all. They took some mean chunks out of its armor. All over Ancyor, clouds of leaking coolant hiss and exposed electricals crackle. At least one or two major servos are missing. It must be handling like a pig right about now, but itâs moving like nothingâs happened. Whoeverâs behind the controls is just that good.
Which begs the question, doesnât it?
Who the fuck is piloting that thing?
Sartha Thrace is dead. Kione made her peace with that a long time ago, and she has no time for stupid rumors. But now she canât help but wonder. Who else could handle Ancyor like this? From their sparring sessions, Kione recognizes all the little trademark moves. Hell, the only reason sheâs lasted this long is because she has a sense of Sarthaâs cadence. Itâs like sheâs fighting her friendâs ghost.
No, not her ghost. Something worse. Sartha was never quite like this. Never quite so heedless of herself. Never so proud she wouldnât simply retreat from this kind of ambush. This animal ferocityâKione has seen it before, but it was always a rare thing. It came over Sartha only when something drove her to her very limit. This pilot? Itâs like sheâs got all of that side of Sartha, and nothing but. Her rage and violence, distilled. Purified.
A shiver runs down Kioneâs spine. Itâs so wrong.
Merc?
Thatâs her radio girl. Kione rolls her eyes. Sheâd been hoping the rebel pilot would just run. If both of them die trying to save each other, sheâs gonna throw up. Thatâs just too much.
âYou clear of the bridge?â
Yeah.
Thank the gods.
Her distraction almost spells her end. Theaboros is driven yet another step backward and almost trips off the side of the bridge. Kione glances behind. Sheâs out of space. Shit. Shit! There has to be something left. Kione knows it. She feels it. This canât be the end. Not of her. Not yet. Sheâs too good. There has to be something.
A plan B.
Oh, right.
Kione checks her reactor. Flight still isnât on the menu. Itâs gonna be ugly.
âRadio girl?â Kione calls out, as Ancyor brings its claws up for an overhead blow. She raises her spear to meet it. Sparks fly as the weapons meet.
Who- yeah?
âPlan B. Blow it.â
To her infinite credit, radio girl doesnât hesitate, which means Kione only knows itâs happening when the ten thousand-ton reinforced concrete bridge under her feet suddenly isnât.
In desperation, Kione throws herself over the edge. A drop is one thing. But getting crushed? Thatâs whatâll kill you. Unfortunately for her, the bridge is already falling. She canât kick off cleanly. Best she can do is scramble at asphalt and rebar thatâs quickly turning into little more than dust while she overboosts her flight system as far as itâll go.
Itâs good enoughâalmost. For just a moment, Kione thinks sheâs threaded the needle. Sheâs going to glide clear.
Then Ancyor comes flying at her one last time.
How it managed a leap like that, Kione will never know. The way it screams as it comes at her almost stops her heart. It gets close. Way too fucking close. But Kione manages to wheel her machine around, kicking its legs up and out of Ancyorâs reach.
Not the wings, though. It gets another one of those.
Thatâs bad. Extremely bad. Kione suddenly realizes she ought to have been more appreciative of only being down the one wing.
Mercifully, Ancyor falls away and disappears into the bridgeâs wreckage at the base of the valley. Thatâs a mercy. But Theaboros isnât much better off. Spitting smoke and almost completely out of control, the best Kione can do with it is a crash landing.
But hey, any landing you can walk away from. Right? And Theaboros can still walk. It just canât do anything else.
Kione lets herself throw up in the cockpit. Thatâs a first.
A minute or two later, while sheâs slowly picking herself up, radio girl comes skating down the wall of the valley. Her mech is a bit shitâcommon enough, for rebelsâbut it looks a damn sight better than Theaboros right now.
Holy shit, radio girl calls out. Youâre alive! You⊠you saved me.
Sheâs got that naive awe in her voice, like sheâs talking to some hero. Kione frowns. Canât have that.
âDonât get used to it,â Kione retorts gruffly. âYou die, whoâs gonna make sure I get paid? Duh.â
She senses radio girl bristle a little, but itâs not quite enough to penetrate that thick coat of rebel sincerity. Thank you, Kione, she replies earnestly.
Even though it almost makes her throw up again, Kione laughs thickly.
âTold you. You already know my name.â
Now she senses the other pilot blushing.
Well, shit, radio girl says after a moment, as her mechâs head turns toward the ruins of the bridge. We really fucked this up. I donât know how Iâm gonna explain this to command.
Kione happens to disagree with the âreally fucked this upâ part of that assessment. She happens to think she pulled off a goddamn miracle, actually. But then, she still doesnât know what they were really after. Who they were really after.
Wait, radio girl says slowly. Is that⊠oh gods, I think thatâs her.
Before Kione can ask, sheâs dashing for something sheâs spotted in the wreckage. Kione makes Theaboros limp after her. When she spots it too, her eyes go wide.
Itâs Ancyor.
Itâs almost in one piece. Almost. Tough son of a bitch. Kione half-expects it to come roaring at them again, but once radio girl shifts the bridge pylon that landed on it, she sees that Ancyor has finally given up the ghost. Itâs not beyond repairs but the torso is cracked open like an egg, leaking oil and worse in a steady stream. Looks like the protection systems deployed OK, at least.
Which means the pilot might actually be alive.
Sure enough, as radio girl peels away one half of Ancyorâs ruined cockpit, Kione sees herâand for the first time, sheâs completely and utterly lost for words.
Lying there, battered and bleeding and unconscious but very definitely alive, dressed just like usual except for what looks freakishly like a fucking muzzle strapped to her headâis Sartha.
Sartha Thrace. The hero. Kioneâs friend.
âSheâŠâ Kione splutters eventually, overcome. âBut⊠how did⊠all this, just forâŠâ
Yeah, radio girl answers. All this was for her.
Thereâs something in the rebelâs voice. Something at once sorrowful and unbearably hopeful. Kione has never heard anything quite like it. But, uncomfortably, she realizes it was in her voice too.
Sheâs the objective. Weâre bringing Sartha Thrace home.
---
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Your Mihawk has me weak on my knees so I wanted to request something for him.
S/O has scars on her body, mainly on arms. She does fight but some of them look⊠too precise. One time after she loses a fight she is really pissed and nervous, she goes to a place alone. There he sees her just giving herself a scar with a knife on her arm. Turns out she was taught scars are signs of losses and if she doesn't get one in battle then afterwards she needs to do it herself. That's why she's so determined to always win. She hates scars.
@patisilence tagging since I'm not sure if you'll get this since I had to save it as a draft to format everything right.
Anyway.
I DID IT I ACTUALLY FINISHED IT
I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG đđ
And I honestly really really want to thank you. This is my first ever fic-request, for one.
And also, writing this has been an absolute emotional rollercoaster. I have kind of a personal history with self-harm and I wanted to depict it as realistically as possible. Which resulted in heavy focus on character development, which resulted in this practically turning into a novella. I'm going to split it up into a few chapters to streamline things and link them all in this post.
If I do it right, then the entire thing should already be posted when I post this, but I'm still pretty new to Tumblr so bear with me. Each chapter should be between 3k-4k words.
And ALSO ALSO I've been planning a longer Mihawk X OC fic, and I really hope you don't mind me using this concept for it? Because it honestly ties a lot of things together for me
Soooooo without further ado, here's the whole author note thing.
Your Scars Are Mine
Ch. 1
LA! Mihawk X AFAB!Reader
Tags: Fluff, Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Graphic Mentions of Violence, I guess that's it, I'm bad at this
â ïž MASSIVE ASS TRIGGER WARNINGSâ ïž : Self-harm, Blood, Implied PTSD
Summary: In the few months that he has known you, Mihawk has noticed the scars on your arm. You've refused to talk about them and skirted around the subject successfully, but a trip to Shells Town throws everything out into the open in a way that neither of you were prepared for.
Ch. 2
Ch.3
You were hiding something.
In the few months that Mihawk had known you, he had come to learn a fair bit about you. He knew, for instance, that you had over the past few years made something of a name for yourself as a sword for hire, typically among pirate crews who required a more discreet touch.
That this reputation of yours had led the Buggy Pirates to hire you to assist in stealing a map of the Grand Line from a Marine base in Shells Town. You had failed to procure the map before it was stolen by other hands, leaving you in their debt. Buggy had sunk your sloop to prevent your escape, and you had gotten stuck working for the ridiculous crew for a brief time, remained stuck with them until the Strawhat upstarts offered you passage with them.
Mihawk knew you had traveled with them as far as Baratie, where you had crossed his own path for the first time at the bar on the ship's deck. Where you had approached him with a bargainâif he left Roronoa Zoro alive after their duel the following morning, you would serve him for a year, an errand girl to send off on whatever menial tasks the World Government assigned him.
"And why would I want a little bird flitting around after me around for an entire year?" Mihawk had asked coolly.
And yet you had made a fair pointâacting as a government lapdog was growing old. He had been sent after the vice admiral's grandson, for heavens' sake, as if he had nothing better to do with his time than to handle the old fool's family disputes.
Though the surly pirate warlord wouldn't have dared to dream of admitting it at the time, you had his attention. Your offer of unquestioned devotion, your confident demeanor as you sipped a glass of whiskey and kept your eyes on his without showing an ounce of fear or intimidation. You were certainly an interesting diversion from the otherwise dull task that had been laid before him, and your certainty that he would accept your offer had irritated and intrigued him in near equal measure.
It was intrigue that won out in the end. He had left his challenger clinging to the edge of life and taken you with him on his departure. You stayed toe to toe with him in wit and banter, and that alone would have been more than enough to draw him closer to your charm. He had wanted you before two weeks were out, wanted to claim you as far more than his "errand girl," and it was easy to see from the way you effortlessly returned his subtle flirtations that you wanted the same.
And now you were lying back across his broad chest in the hammock aboard your new sloop, a book open over your chest and his hand resting over your stomach, his other tucked under his neck as he frowned thoughtfully up at the roof of the small ship's cabin, pondering over the whirlwind of events that had led up to this moment.
It had been just over two months since the pirate lord had taken you as his lover, and you had been an open book about most things. Your training under your grandmother. Your setting out on your own from a small island village to find your parents, or some clue of their disappearance. The many and varied pirate crews you had served as a hired hand.
Yet you refused to discuss your scars.
Any seafarer with a history as sordid as your own had their share of battle scars. Mihawk had a fair few of his own; one didn't become the most renowned swordsman in the world without a few losses, after all. Yet your voice turned to clear contempt when yours were mentioned, even in passing, and you tensed like a statue when his hands brushed over them. You were confident to the point of near arrogance, yet you clearly held nothing but shame and contempt for the many marks that marred your delicate skin.
Some of which appeared oddly...uniform, for having been gained in battle.
It was in partâin great measure, honestlyâthe mystery of you that had drawn him in to begin with, and this was just another mystery that Mihawk intended to unravel.
You closed your book abruptly, stirring him from his thoughts as he glanced down at you. He watched you gaze thoughtfully toward the ceiling for a long moment, your hand resting over his at your stomach, before you finally spoke up.
"Reading a book is just staring at a dead tree and vividly hallucinating."
You tilted your head back, grinning as his mouth turned down in a frown and his brow furrowed at your ridiculous statement. Mihawk sighed wearily, plucking the book from your hands and lightly rapping you over the forehead with it.
"No," he scolded, as you giggled softly. He sighed heavily again, dropping the book over the back of the hammock before pinching at the bridge of his nose. "Are you trying to give me a stroke?"
"No," you said, imitating his scolding tone. You stretched your arms out over your head, arching your back for a moment, before rolling over to lay across his chest and brush your lips to his. "But it's fun seeing the look on your face."
"You irritate my very soul, little one," he said, shaking his head as he wrapped his arms around your waist.
"And I enjoy every second of it," you countered, grinning as you laid your forehead against his.
"I can tell."
Your grin managed to draw a small smile from him, before he lifted a hand into your hair and pulled you down into a slow, deep kiss. Your fingertips came to rest at his broad shoulders, the hammock swaying slowly in the steady ocean waves carrying the ship along. He knew as well as you did that he wasn't honestly irritatedâyour strange sense of humor had grown on him, as starkly as it contrasted to his dry sarcasm, and he rarely had the pleasure of meeting anyone as adept at keeping up with his own banter.
You lay your cheek at his shoulder when your lips parted, your eyes slipping shut and your contented sigh tickling against his neck.
"If the wind holds steady it will be a few hours before we make port," you said, your voice low and soft. "I suggest we don't move from here in the meantime."
"I'm not sure I've ever heard a finer suggestion."
Mihawk pulled one of your hands to his lips, brushing a kiss across your knuckles. He pulled his hat down over his eyes to block out the sun pouring through the windows of the small cabin, tucked his hand back behind his neck again, and shifted beneath you to get comfortable as he closed his eyes. His arm remained curled around your waist, his hand slipping just beneath the hem of your shirt so his thumb could rub slow circles over your soft skin as you both drifted off toward the peaceful recess of sleep.
The first thing that struck Mihawk when he woke was that you weren't in his arms.
Every day and night for nearly two months, he had fallen asleep and woken with you against him, and the absence of your warmth jarred him instantly awake and aware. His eyes scanned around his surroundings as he sat up, taking in where he wasâthe small cabin of the sloop he had recently bought you as a replacement for the one Buggy's crew had sunk.
His sharp yellow eyes darted toward the door, taking in the sound of unfamiliar, muffled voices outside the cabin.
He was standing in an instant, straightening his hat and pulling Yoru onto his back as he slipped silently through the door and onto the small deck of the sloop.
There was another sloop tethered to yours.
A pair of no-name pirates holding you against the bow ny your arms, their captain pressing the barrel of his pistol to your forehead as they bickered.
"There has to be something on board."
"We could just take her. Looks like she's probably a feisty little thing."
"Still have to check the cabins. Could beâ"
Mihawk cleared his throat.
The trio turned their heads in almost comedic synchrony, their jaws dropping at the mere sight of him leaning against the door of the cabin. Mihawk's eyes flickered from them to you, and you averted your eyes, clearly ashamed to be seen in such a compromising situation.
So he shifted his gaze back to the opposing pirates, his eyes flickering between each of them.
"You will remove your hands from the girl or I will gladly remove them for you," he said levelly, lifting his eyebrows.
They quickly let go of your arms, and stepped away when he moved forward to wrap a hand around your wrist and pull you to him. He curled his arm around your waist, lowering his head over yours for a moment and murmuring quietly, "Are you hurt?"
You shook your head no quickly, your jaw set at a rigid angle as you turned your gaze down to your feet, your shoulders tense. He pressed a light kiss to your temple for a long moment before lifting his gaze back to the trio that had dared board your ship, his eyes narrowing in an unspoken threat.
"Go." They remained frozen, glancing between each other. "Now."
They scrambled back over to their ship immediately, severing the ropes that were tethering it to yours. Mihawk kept his arm around you, but his eyes remained trained onto the opposing sloop as it drifted away on the wind, debating on just drawing his sword and splitting it in half on the spot.
He turned his attention back down to you when you began to pull away from him. He pulled you in close again, frowning. It wasn't at all like you to be bested by a few no-names, and it was clear that you weren't taking it very well.
"Tell me what happened," he said finally.
"I woke up," you said curtly. "Thought I'd check the charts and see how far we were from Shells Town. They were already on the deck. Seemed to think this was a small merchant vessel since there's no flag. I'd left my knives in the cabin and I was still half asleep when I came out here. By the time I registered what was going on, one of them had a pistol to my head."
You really weren't making a very good case for him to not sink their boat. He cut his eyes briefly toward the sloop before looking back down at you, your face shadowed by your hair as you stared down at the deck floor.
"Their captain started questioning me about cargo," you continued. "Told them there wasn't anything valuable on board. They were discussing taking me as compensation." You sighed heavily. "And that's when you chose to enter stage left and take approximately twenty years off the end of their lives."
He rolled his eyes the slightest bit at your quip. "I would have taken a great deal more than that had they hurt you."
"Well, they didn't," you replied, your voice still curt. Mihawk lifted an eyebrow. "And it's perhaps best not to go splitting any boats in half a stone's throw away from a naval base," you added, nodding back toward the bow of the vessel.
Mihawk gave a quick glance as well. He had been too focused on the fiasco he had just awoken to to notice that Shells Town was visible on the horizon now. It wasn't as if the Marines could do much about it if he did sink the sloop, but you were rightâit would still be more of a hassle than it was worth. He sighed, shaking his head a little, and curled a hand under your chin to lift your gaze to his. You still kept your eyes averted, your jaw set. He hadn't seen you lose a fight beforeâapart from sparring with him while training, but that hardly counted.
You had proven to be quite the fighter when he had decided to test you. You were nowhere near his equal, but you knew precisely how to play to your strengths with your pair of daggers and your throwing knives. Your stature made you difficult to target even in single combat, your movements a graceful dance that toed the line between evasion and power.
Yet one lossâand a rather inconsequential loss, at thatâand you were beating yourself up over it quite a great deal more than what constituted normalcy. Mihawk wasn't sure whether to scold you for being dramatic or attempt to comfort you.
"You were caught off guard, little one," he said after a long moment, brushing a thumb across your cheek. "There's no need to be so upset over that."
"I'm not upset, I'm annoyed," you retorted, pursing your lips a little. "Blades or no, I should have been able to take care of those idiots."
"Annoyed, then," he allowed with a small sigh. "And I've no doubt you would have had I not woke. I was simply able to handle it a bit more...subtly."
"Oh, yes, because sauntering out onto the deck with a giant sword and threatening to cut off their hands was so subtle," you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm as you finally rolled your eyes over to his, lifting your eyebrows.
"Don't be a brat," he chided lightly. "We still have at least half an hour before we make port." Mihawk abruptly wrapped his hand around your chin and pressed his lips to yours in a brief, deep kiss that made you draw in a sharp breath. He parted just as you started to lean into it, resting his forehead against yours. He lowered his voice to an intimate murmur. "I would truly hate to have to spend it punishing you, my little bird."
You quirked an eyebrow, your lips curving in a small, coy smirk. "No you wouldn't."
He gave you a thoughtful frown and a small shrug of his shoulder. "Perhaps not." You let out a small cry of alarm when he stooped down and quickly scooped you up from the deck floor, one arm beneath your knees and his other curled around your back. "I suppose we'll just have to find out."
You chuckled lightly as he carried you to the door of the main cabin, plucking his hat off of his head and placing it on your own as you brushed your lips to his in a soft, teasing manner. Mihawk lifted his eyebrows when you nipped lightly at his bottom lip.
"You're really pushing your luck, my dear," he cautioned.
He lowered you down to the double bed in the cabin, his thumb rubbing small circles at the back of your neck. You lifted yourself onto your elbows, your lips nearly brushing his before he pulled back just far enough to stop you, lightly gripping your hair at the nape of your neck to keep you from sitting up any higher. You gave a small whine of protest, but didn't try to struggle against his gripâyou and he both knew there was no point.
"Lie down." His voice remained low and intimate, but there was a subtle command in his tone, in the way his gaze burned into your own. You bit your bottom lip lightly, lowering yourself back down onto the bed fully. A soft, quivering sigh left your lips as he slowly began slipping the buttons down the front of your shirt loose. "Hands over your head. And you don't move them an inch until I tell you you can."
"Mmm..." You hummed thoughtfully, and Mihawk paused in unbuttoning your shirt as you lifted your arms from the bed, holding your hands high above you, straight up in the air. "I think my arms might end up getting tired."
Your lips pursed a little, clearly struggling to keep a straight face, and he lifted an eyebrow at you. "You're certainly in rare form today."
Mihawk wrapped his hand around both of your wrists, shoving your hands down into the plush white comforter over your head, and a couple giggles escaped you before you bit your lip again. It was honestly a bit endearing, how cheeky you were beingâand all the moreso, as it appeared you were being so brazen just so he could have his fun with your punishment.
You were enticing him more and more every passing day, beyond the physical desire that had led him to claim you as his a couple months ago. It wasn't a feeling he was particularly accustomed to, nor was he quite sure what to make of it yet. He knew only that when he had seen you held captive against the bow of the boat, an emotion had flashed through him for a moment that he hadn't experienced in years.
For the briefest moment, Dracule Mihawk had felt fear.
He was not ready to contend with the connotations of that.
And he was a bit too busy at the moment, anyway. He let his forehead touch yours, his lips hovering a breath away from your own.
"You don't move your hands," he repeated, tilting his head to just barely graze his lips against your neck, drawing a small moan from your lips, "until I give you permission. Understood?"
"Yes, sir..." you sighed softly, your eyes slipping shut as he kissed down your collarbone, pushing your shirt open. His hand released your wrists and trailed down your arms, down to knead at the soft tissue of your breast through the sheer lace of your bra, feeling your nipple harden against his palm. He tugged the cups down, just a bit too hard given he felt one of them tear in his grasp, but that was a problem for later, not now.
You gasped out when he briefly pulled one of your stiff nipples into his mouth, his grip tightening slightly around your ribcage as you arched your chest toward his swirling tongue. His gaze flicked up to watch you writhe and shudder under his touch, your fingers digging into the bedsheets behind you, your hands searching for anything to keep occupied with.
"Very good," he praised, lifting a hand to brush a few strands of hair out of your eyes and brushing his lips to your jaw. "You see?" He wrapped his hand around your jaw and lightly pressed his lips to yours. "It's much better when you're a good little bird, isn't it?"
"Thisâdoesn't feel much like a punishment," you commented, gasping softly as he circled the pad of his thumb around your nipple, lightly skimming across it once or twice.
"Yet," he corrected.
And gave you a small, devilish smirk, before lowering his head and biting down on the tender skin at the crook of your neck. Just hard enough to leave behind a small bruise, to draw a sharp cry from your lips and send a shiver through your body.
He straightened out as you heaved a sigh, standing over you. Your eyes remained glued to him while he shrugged away his long coat and tossed it back into a chair behind him, noting how your hands tightened down on the bedsheets again.
"Remember we still have a half an hour before we reach Shells Town." His fingertips curled around the waist of your shorts, the lace of your panties beneath them, and slowly inched them down your hips. "I could spend the entirety of it teasing you." Mihawk noted the movement in your throat as you swallowed in nervous anticipation, your eyes glued to his as he pulled them up the length of your legs and off, flinging them aside. "Making you beg for release but never allowing you the satisfaction."
How beautiful it was that it only took a few words to pull a blush to your cheeks and make your breath hitch. He brushed a light kiss to your calf and pushed your legs apart, rubbing his palms up your inner thighs.
"You're going to have to be on your best behavior if you want more, my sweet little bird." Trailing a single finger up your soft folds, dragging through your slick arousal and across your clit, pulling a small whimper from your lips. "Or would you rather I just torment you?"
You bit your lip, shaking your head quickly, your eyes flickering between his eyes and his fingertips trailing up. It was a struggle for him not to chuckle at youâalways just cheeky enough to be amusing, but you knew the pleasure he could give you, were so desperate for it that you folded like a cheap deck of cards under his slightest touch.
Absolutely perfect.
Mihawk moved his hands up from your thighs, curling an arm under your back to lift you up and shift you further back on the bed. Your breathing was ragged with anticipation as he brushed his lips to your stomach, trailing his hands back down to your hips, his lips lower and lower, grazing slowly across the soft skin between your hip bones.
Shifting lower and dragging his tongue slowly up your slit, circling the sensitive bud at the apex, giving a quiet growl of approval as your breathy, shuddering moans filled the small cabin and your hips arched in his hands.
His gaze turned up toward your face, watching you draw closer to falling apart with every passing moment. This was only the beginning, and he still hadn't decided if he was going to give you what you wanted...but the sight of your divine, nearly naked and writhing under his touch with his hat still resting on your head made him just a little weak.
He moved from between your legs before he could get lost in the sight of you and the sweet sounds of your moans, reveling in the agonized whimper that left you as he trailed his mouth back up your stomach.
Across to your ribs, pausing at your breasts to brush his lips and his skilled tongue across your sensitive nipples.
Dragging his tongue up the column of your throat, seizing a fistful of your hair and crushing his lips to yours in a deep, possessive kiss, shoving your hip down onto the mattress to keep you from grinding against him, shifting his hand between your thighs to circle a finger around your tight entrance without pushing in. Your low moans and whines of protest were like music to his ears, your knuckles gone white from the force with which you gripped at the sheets over your head to keep your hands from wandering.
Every slow pass up and down your body brought you closer to the peak of pleasure but never quite thereâand brought him closer and closer to caving in and giving it to you. He had to wonder whether you had any idea just how much of a temptation you were to him. It had been years since the pirate lord had allowed any woman to affect him quite as strongly as you had.
How much time had passed couldn't be ascertained for sure when he reached his breaking pointâhis mouth pressed into the crook of your neck while you moaned and begged desperately in his ear, one of his hands squeezing your breast hard enough to bruise the soft flesh while his other worked his belt buckle open and shoved his pants down his hips in a desperation that rivaled yours.
He shoved your open shirt up your shoulders and arms and flung it away; gripped one of your thighs, pushing your leg up as high as it would go, and the low growl that left his throat as he thrust into you was drowned out by your own cries of abandon. Your hips arched up from the bed to meet his, one of your arms flinging around his neck and your hooking beneath his arm to grip hard at his shoulder.
"I don't recall giving you permission to move," he breathed into your neck. He gritted his teeth as he pushed his hips forward hard, shoving yours back down into the bed as you cried out again, your slick walls tightening around his cock.
"IâI'm sorry, I can'tâI can'tâpleaseâ" You gasped, your head falling back as he moved in you in deep, hard thrusts, your fingernails dragging down his back. "Oh God, pleaseâ"
He lifted a hand to grasp at your hair as he crushed his lips to yours, delving his tongue into your mouth and drawing in a deep breath as you moaned desperately into the fierce kiss. The prospect of punishing you, of what the hell he had even been punishing you for was forgotten in this rush of unquenchable lust and desire, of pure carnal need for your body.
He normally hated losing control, but this was on another level entirely. There was no room to hate this, no room for anything but pure pleasure, for getting lost inside you as your walls tightened around his cock, as every muscle in his groin tensed and tightened in anticipation of impending releaseâ
Your lips breaking away from his, your cry of abandon as your climax swept over you pulled him right over the edge with you. He pulled your hip up from the bed to slam into you as he came, gritting his teeth against a low groan, the rhythmic contractions of your tight channel milking him dry. His hips jerked toward yours with each intense wave of pleasure, fingers tangling in your hair as he pressed his lips to your neck, the two of you shuddering and tangled together over the bedsheets.
Mihawk heaved a shuddering sigh into the crook of your neck, his fingers tangled in your hair as he brushed his thumb across your temple. Maybe it was the lingering euphoria, but he didn't even think about the next words that left his mouth before he heard them himself.
"God dammit, (Y/N), I love you."
But it was impossible to deny any longer. You really were everything he had never realized he craved. No, it wasn't just the euphoria in the momentâit was that brief flash of fear earlier at the thought of you being hurt, at the thought of losing you. The utter fury at the morons who had briefly held you captive. How perfectly you balanced and complemented his desires.
He felt as much as heard you draw in a small gasp beneath him. "Yâyouâwhâ?"
"You heard me," Mihawk interrupted your quiet, almost cautious stammering, murmuring against your neck. He brushed his lips against one of the small, round bruises he had left on the soft skin, and said it again, quietly, "I love you."
You were quiet for a long moment, but he wasn't concerned, still trailing kisses up the side of your neck. He had seen it in your eyes before now, heard it in the softness of your voice when you lay against him, your fingers in his hair and your lips brushing his.
Several seconds passed, before you turned your head slowly and pressed your lips to his, tentatively at first, and then deepening the slow kiss with a soft sigh. He shifted onto his side, tugging you to him by your hip. Your forehead came to rest against his as your lips drifted apart, still barely a breath away, your eyes closed, your voice a quiet whisper.
"I...love you."
(Ch. 2)
#opla#one piece fanfiction#dracule mihawk#fanfic#mihawk one piece#mihawk opla#fluff#mihawk x reader#smut
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New Mikitama info post
thatâs what she and her twin brother look like !!
Basic info
Name: Mikitama Suzuki
Age: 14
Species: Bakeneko yokai
Height: 4â8/142.24 cm
Weight: 94 lbs/42.64 kg
Likes: her loved ones, chicken udon, strawberries, mochi, ice cream, cats, children, and babies
Dislikes: herself, mean/scary people, her scars, fish, bugs, garlic, and peppermint
Personality: Sweet, brave, kind, caring, nurturing, loving, selfless, and hardworking (even at the expense of her own wellbeing)
Occupation: Demon Slayer (Hashira)
Breathing Style: Starlight breathing
Family (biological)
Mother: Akari Suzuki
-Status: Dead
Father: Akio Suzuki
-Status: Dead
Brother: Michio Suzuki
-Status: Alive
Brother (twin): Mikitamo Suzuki
-Status: Alive
Uncle (Akioâs brother): Haruki Suzuki
-Status: Alive
Aunt (Harukiâs wife): Yoko Suzuki
-Status: Dead
Cousin (son of Haruki and Yoko): Enzo Suzuki
-Status: Alive
Aunt (Akioâs and Harukiâs sister): Aika Suzuki (@uponthefantasy-deactivated20240âs oc (why did you leave againnđ„șđ„Č))
-Status: Alive
Ancestor (Married to Michikatsu): Hana Tsugikuni
-Status: Dead
Ancestor: Michikatsu/Kokushibo Tsugikuni
-Status: Alive (demon)
Cousin: Muichiro Tokito
-Status: Alive
Cousin: Yuichiro Tokito
-Status: Dead
Family (adoptive)
Cousin (adoptive daughter of Haruki): Shiina Suzuki (@nothingtoseehere1-2-3âs oc)
Mother: Yuna Handa (@kimetsu-chanâs oc)
Father: Giyuu Tomioka
Mother: Kaori Nakamura (@demonslayerdoodlesâs oc)
Father: Kyojuro Rengoku
Brother: Zeno Arakawa (@kimetsu-chanâs oc)
Sister: Ames (@donkeybroâs oc)
Father: Hiroto Ichigo (@circus-gone-wrongâs oc)
Uncle: Tengen Uzui
Aunt: Hinatsuru Uzui
Aunt: Suma Uzui
Aunt: Makio Uzui
Brother: Hanao Amaya (@matthew-knyshaitâs oc)
Backstory
tw: S/A, abuse, death, self blame, attempted murder
A few weeks after Mikitama and Mikitamo were born, their parents were killed by demons. (Their mother, by a lower level demon, and her father by Kokushibo)
Their aunt and uncle took their and Michio in and raised them.
When Miki and Miko were 2, their aunt died protecting Miki, and the already present abuse from their uncle became worse for Miki.
The demon also gave Mikitama scars on her face which is why she wears a mask, to avoid the guilt she feels when she sees them.
Mikiâs, Mikoâs, and Michioâs other Aunt found out about what Haruki was doing to them and tried to take them.
Haruki only let Aika take Michio because he wanted to make Mikitama pay for taking his wife away from him and Mikitamo didnât want to leave his twin sister. (Neither did Michio, but Miko is a lot more stubborn than Michio)
Over the years, Haruki would do many unspeakable things to Miki such as cut her, beat her, r*** her, etc.
When Miki was 10 she had a dream about her ancestor performing starlight breathing, the breathing style that her father, the previous starlight hashira, used.
She told Miko about it and they began to learn starlight breathing and total concentration breathing in secret then a year later they ran away to participate in the final selection.
Another year later, they became a hashira and was reunited with her Michio a week later when he became a hashira as well.
Various links
Mikiâs ships
Fun facts
Scar reveal
Mikiâs and Mikoâs estate
voice claim (Mikiâs)
tagging: @shining-stars-of-love @nothingtoseehere1-2-3 @rosalinastan1 @ayunakatsukiwolfhashira @pinkwisteria @nimmie-nugget @kimetsu-chan @shycroissanti @slayfics @circus-gone-wrong @frostburn-shoto @floofgryph @aceofstars0 @pulim-v @muichirolover14 @muichirosboba @kiyokatokito
#random posts from larz#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#teehee#meow#larz draws#larz writes#oc art#mikitama suzuki#oc info
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Objective: Teenage Dreams.
Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff
Tags: Pride month, bisexual Wanda, mutual pining, canon divergence, lesbian Natasha.
A/n: My gift before pride ends lol, it a little rushed but uhh... I enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it. It's kind of a crack fic honestly, just good vibe for ye gays :D (Ps. sorry if there are mistakes I kind rushed this andd it's been a while.)
Summary: It's pride month and Wanda still hasn't made her move. Being the self-proclaimed greatest ally, Y/n and two other decided to give them a push.
On lazy days like these, Wanda usually spends it by reading a book, maybe binge watching some shows. Other times she spends it with her brother, but ever since joining the Avengers, Pietro has made it his ultimate goal to have Steve Roger's physique. He trained almost day and night, honestly Wanda could enter the gym at 9 in the morning finding her brother in the middle of a workout, and by the time she was finished he was still there.
Often time he was also with her best friend, who is now his gym buddy, Y/n Romanoff. Who was just as much of a gym rat as Pietro. Honestly, the amount of time they stare at themselves in the mirror was concerning. She's almost sure she had passed a video on social media featuring them titled; 'How to train like an Avenger'
So nowadays she spends her free time alone, even though she wishes she could spend it with a certain beautiful redhead-
Although it wasn't all that bad. Wanda had found a new fixation to spend her time on. Which was Fanfictions.
Now how does one stumbles upon this... wonderful world you might ask? Well for Wanda it started when she was watching a new TV Show she had recently discovered called, The 100. It was fun until they killed off one of her favorite character, Lexa. Wanda naturally dropped the show in an instant. During one of her rants to one of the new recruits, Kate Bishop then sent her a link leading to a website followed a text that read; "The showrunners might break your heart, but fanfiction authors will be there to pick up the pieces."
And Wanda... Fell down the rabbit hole from there.
At first all she searched was merely about wlw couples on her favorite movies and shows, like that one Supergirl TV show she had been recently watching. Or that one cute show called 'Everything Sucks' that got canceled after one season. Basically any wlw couples she started to like, but couldn't be explored due to the showrunners being a pus-
It didn't matter, she founded the holy-site that held all the stories in the world. Then, when she found nothing else to read there, it lead her journey to... a site that shares the same name as drinking bottle; Tumblr. Minus the 'e'.
The site gave her access to a whole new world and whole lot more stories. It was on this website that she found out there was a whole fandom for the Avengers, and many stories was written about them in different scenarios. Sometimes it was cute, other times it was... questionable-
You can't really blame her, can't you? Her name and the word mommy was basically inseparable on this site.
This was where she learned that people have also been 'shipping' one Avenger and the other. Curiosity got the better of the witch when she started to search herself... and a certain former Russian spy. She was surprised to see how many stories were written about them here. Wanda... may have gotten a little out of hand.
This was her guilty pleasure. Reading stories about her crush and herself in a scenario instead of actually trying to talk to her. Can you blame her though? She was what the internet describes as a 'Loser Lesbian'.
The little voice in her head prefers the word 'Useless Lesbian', which wasn't even accurate as she mostly resonates more with Bisexuality-
"Happy gay month, cus you know you bi and stuff!" Ah there it is, the 'little voice' burst through her door unannounced, causing Wanda to yelp and quickly shut her laptop close to hide her 'shameful' activity.
Wanda glared at the young Romanoff who was carrying 3 different items in his hand and approaching her on the bed. "What the fuck is wrong with-"
"Here, I got you a gay balloon cus it got all the color because it's GAY."
"Y/n-" She reluctantly takes the balloon.
"And I gotchu a vinyl album with that Sweater Weather song cus you Bi." He handed her the vinyl, how thoughtful.
"Ok-"
Lastly, "And I baked you a cake that says, 'BeeEE who yoOOUUu aaRREEE, for YooUURE PRiiiDEEEEeeeEE'" He sang the word off tune.
"Ok- Thank you... Uhm-" She grabs all the items and looks at them with confusion. "This is..." Wanda furrowed her eyes at her friend. "Why- Why did you do this, why are you doing this??"
"You know... Cus you're Bi!"
"I'm well aware of that fact."
"Well my dearest Wanda, in this holy month of June I have a very important mission to accomplish." The young Romanoff suddenly jumps on her bed and dramatically opens his arms as if he was some kind of showman. "I'm gonna get you a woman!"
The youngest Maximoff cringes her face and with a flick of her wrist she knock the soldier off her bed, earning a high pitch scream from him. "First of all, you can't get a woman for yourself how do you expect to get me a girlfriend."
"I have plenty of girls!" He said rather defensively as he sat up on the floor.
"And second, why is this so important to you?"
"What you don't want a girlfriend?"
"I still like guys you know."
He rolled his eyes, "I know that, but you always told me you wanted to try dating girls."
"Not just girls... a girl-" She mumbles.
"What was that?" The man raised a teasing eyebrow.
"Nothing! Now shut up, you haven't answered my question." Wanda said while huffing and crossing her arms.
"Because my dearest friend being Bisexual is one thing, but being bi yourself is just sad-" That statement earned him a rightful pillow thrown at him at full speed. Which he thankfully manages to deflect this time with his reflex.
Wanda then groans and plops on her bed. "You're not going to stop, are you?"
"Nope." Y/n even popped the 'p' to emphasize his point. With a roll of her eyes, Wanda agrees with an exaggerated fine and he joined her on the bed with a grin. "Now, first thing on the list is we need to get you some new clothes."
Wanda hastily sat up looked down at her current outfit and glanced at the mirror in her room. She gave him a stinky eye. "What's wrong with my clothes??" This rude bitch-
"Nothing..." Y/n said rather sassily, "I just... think it might need a little spice is all." Without asking for her permission, Y/n grabs her laptop out of her reach and opens it. "I was thinking we could- WHOAAA..."
"What's- NO!" Her eyes widens in panic has her dirty little secret have been exposed. The witch lunges herself to him only for the young super soldier to hold out a hand to keep her at a distance while staring bewildered at the screen before him. "GIVE IT BACK."
"OH MY GOD???? YOu into this shit?!!" Oh the young Romanoff was having the time of his life. He grinned as he looked at what the story was about, "Natasha Romanoff x Reader? Ohhh ho HO, you really llike her huh-?"
"Y/n I swear to god, GIVE IT BACK." She yelled, Wanda was fucking furious. She already had an annoying brother to deal with, what was she thinking adding Y/n into the mix.
"I want to see your blog." It was like she was seeing red, blood thumping in her brain.
Wanda screeched like a maniac, suddenly overpowering the super soldier. She was practically sitting on top of him wrestling with the now closed laptop, Y/n hugged the laptop close. "Y/N I WILL KILL YOU!"
"I JUST WANT TO SEE!"
"NEVER!" Their screaming was probably heard all over the compound as they wrestle for Wanda's laptop. However, a stern voice stopped their childish fight.
"Enough, both of you!" The two whipped their head to the door to see Natasha crossing her arms and looking at them expectantly. The two scurry off of each other and Wanda made a final yank on her laptop out of his reach. The two stood up like guilty children caught in a fight.
"He took my laptop without permission." Wanda spoke up before Y/n could open his mouth. The look of betrayal on his face brings pleasure to Wanda as Natasha's anger was now directed to him.
"You-"
"Y/n, you know better than to take other people's personal things." Natasha glared at her little brother.
"You're just going to believe her right out of the gate?!" He retorted.
"It's the truth!" Wanda said while hugging her laptop tightly.
"You little snitch-" The super soldier turned to face her challengingly. Before the two were about to enter yet another screaming match, Natasha's stern voice puts them in their place once again.
"You two are acting like children. I have enough of this, Y/n if you don't stop this childish nonsense I'll have you grounded from any missions."
"You can't do that?!" His eyes practically bulge out of it's eye socket.
"I can, and I will." Natasha's death stare easily intimidates him as he quickly mumbles an apology to Wanda. The spy's gaze turned to the witch with soft and caring look, unlike the one she gave to her sibling. "Wanda, if he gives you anymore trouble you let me know ok?"
"Thank you, Natasha." Wanda said shyly, a faint blush visible on her cheek. The redhead smiled at her before giving one last glare to Y/n and left to god-knows-where.
It was so painfully obvious that the two liked each other. Except the only one that fail to realize that is themselves. Operation Scarlet Widow was going to be a lot more difficult than he anticipated, Y/n might need a little backup.
"I seriously don't get why you can't just ask her out instead of reading a bunch of stories-"
This annoying fuck- "DON'T talk to me about that!" She suddenly uses her powers to float him out of her room. "I don't wanna hear about it-" She practically throws him out, Y/n lies on the floor while looking at his friend bewildered. Wanda gave one last glare and shuts the door on his face.
"But-"
"And stay out!" Her voice yelled from inside the room.
Being the annoying friend that he is, he got onto his feet and proceeds to bug the shit out of the witch. Y/n started with those gentle knocks on the door. "Honeyyy-" He teased her.
"Ohmyfuckinggod. Don't call me that!" Wanda yells again. Y/n snickers at her response.
"Wanda, come on..." He knocks again, hearing no response the soldier knocks on the door harder. "You can't hide forever, come out!"
"Jokes on you, I already am!"
"Not what I meant, but ok!" He snickers again, clearly Wanda would not be opening the door anytime soon. He makes his way to the gym to recruit some people who shall help him in this mission.
------
Upon entering the training grounds, Y/n found Yelena and Pietro in the middle of a sparring session. Only these two would spend their Sundays training.
"Dearest Brother, nice of you to join us." Of course Yelena would know it was him, despite having her back facing Y/n.
"Let me know when you want to spar with someone who can actually throw a punch." The soldier said with a smirk.
"Fuck you, Romanoff!" The silver-haired speedster gave him the finger before focusing back on his opponent. "You're the one who's lacking, I thought super soldiers could do this all day?"
Y/n scoffed, "Oh please, I can take you down without breaking a sweat. You rely mostly on your powers."
"Barf, are you going to keep bothering us or join us?" Yelena said with a roll of her eyes, using the distraction Pietro surges forward in an attempt to tackle Yelena. Although she may not have powers, her skills were beyond his years. Using the techniques taught by none other than her own sister, Yelena manages to take down the speedster with ease.
"Hah!" She snorted seeing Pietro with his face on the ground and tapping the floor to announce his defeat. Yelena gets off of him with a smirk on her face.
"Oh come on! If this was a real fight you know you wouldn't stand a chance." The speedster grumbles.
"I'm not denying that, but take that power away and you're just another damsel in distress."
Pietro narrowed his eyes. In the midst of her overconfidence, he uses his powers to knock Yelena on the feet, causing her to fall backwards onto her ass. Normally, her instinct would've kicked in and she would prepare for the fall, but this time Pietro stands in triumph while crossing his arms with a smirk on his face.
"Bitch." Yelena mumbles in Russian before dusting herself off.
"Now if you're both finished, I would like to make an offering." Y/n said while putting his fingers together like some menace business man with bad intention.
"You want to steal Tony's car and do a high speed race on the highway? I call dibs on the Mclaren." Yelena spoke up.
"So long as I get the Ferrari-" Pietro chimes in.
"No, but we'll get back into that because I always wanted to try his Audi. What I have is, how would you feel on playing cupid for our dearest sisters?" Yelena only raises an eyebrow while Pietro squints his eyes.
"I am getting sick of seeing them practically eye-fucking each other at the gym." Yelena started.
"Hey, that's my little sister." Pietro said while puffing his chest out playing the overprotective big brother role.
Yelena rolled her eyes, "She's 27 dipshit, and you're only 12 minutes older."
"Still my little sister..."
"Look we can all agree that these two needs to sort out their feelings, and since the two are completely useless as one is an idiot who thinks staring will magically get her a date. And the other has deep traumatic issues where she struggles to have proper relationship due to her upbringing. I'd say, maybe they need a little third party help?" Y/n opens his arms as if to wait if any of the two objects.
"And how do you plan on pulling this off?" Yelena asked.
"I was hoping you might help me figure that out." Y/n threw back the question. Yelena rolled her eyes.
"So you came to us for help empty handed?"
"Well I would argue dedication and sheer will counts for something." Y/n puffed out his chest, he clearly has nothing.
"We don't even know if Natasha likes Wanda back." Pietro chimes in, which earns him a raised eyebrow from the two Russians.
"It's hard to miss."
"Yeah, I can see the oblivious genes runs in the Maximoff's."
Maybe it was less obvious to someone who was not close to Natasha, she was a trained spy overall. And these two were practically raised to be more observant than others. Or that could just be the oblivious Maximoff genes.
"All I know is, Wanda has had this crush ever since she stole Natasha's jacket."
Y/n furrowed his eyebrows at Pietro. "Wasn't that like... a year ago with Ultron?" Yelena barks out a laugh, "You mean to tell me she's been pinning on Natasha for a year??"
Pietro shrugs his shoulders and smirked, "Wanda has bigger pool, but I'm the one getting all the girls."
"Barf-" Yelena said while fake gagging, earning a jab on the rib by Pietro. "If we want a shot for our dearest love birds we have to be quick, cause I'm noticing a certain android having his eyes on Wanda."
"Who, the toaster?" Pietro said while cringing his face.
"Ok... I can see you don't seem so fond of the guy, and Vision's not so bad y'know-" Y/n said, it's not that he was close with Vision. But he didn't understand why Pietro would look so utterly disgusted.
"No, he's not bad. But if this works out, you and I would be brothers for real, y'know?"
Damn... This was true brotherhood. "Bro..."
"Bro..."
The two hugged like it was something out of a bromance movie. Yelena could only watch with her arms crossed, wondering what the fuck was going on. However, while the two gym rats were having their moment, a plan formed in her mind.
-------
The trio sprang into action in an instant, ordering a bunch of pizzas, heading to the city to grab some supplies, thankfully alcohols were already taken cared of.
"Ok! Now we just need everybody here." Y/n said with a satisfied grin whilst taking a shot to give himself a head start. Yelena mimicked his movement and so did Pietro.
"FRIDAY, assemble the team to the common room." The AI gave Pietro the acknowledgement, soon enough the team entered the common room with a confused look.
"What's going on?" Steve was first to spoke up as he looked around the decorated room with food and beverages.
Wanda glances to a certain redhead a few meters away from her, Natasha initially had a bored look on her face, arms crossed, and was probably mentally preparing herself to whatever the hell her siblings had in mind. And it was as if the spy felt a pair of eyes on her she looked to the side and locked eyes with Wanda, instantly, the corner of Natasha's mouth pulled into a tiny smile and a small shrug.
Wanda blushed instantly and turned her gaze to the floor, tucking a hair behind her ear. The trio, saw this and glances at one another.
"Well dearest teammates." Y/n started, taking a microphone and speaking to it as if he was an mc. "Tonight will be the night-"
"What's with the mic, Y/n?" Natasha asked with a roll of her eyes.
"I was getting there," He responded while putting his hand up, "Tonight Is the night we let loose!" He whooped, yet the only one cheered with him was Pietro.
"Seriously?" Natasha asked with a raised eyebrow.
Y/n scoffed at his teammates, looking at all the low faces and annoyed faces. "Sam! Come on, you're always game." He asked, needing ATLEAST someone to be in it.
Sam sighed, "Man, I would but honestly I was looking forward to sleep early tonight." Y/n looked at him as if his heart had been stabbed.
"Wanda??" He asked his best friend, and Wanda groaned at him. Oh this was a rough start.
"Honestly, I'm in the mood for some me time and not... whatever this is." She replied indicating to the alcohol bottles on the table.
"Sorry kid, looks like everyone is super tired." Steve added with a pity look, "Maybe next time plan things out."
"But that's boring!" Pietro exclaimed, and speeds to every single one handing out a shot glass filled with vodka.
"It's not just any normal drinking night, there's singing involved." Yelena finally chimed in while dunking another shot.
"Yelena, you can't possibly be part of this." Natasha asked her sister, and Yelena shrugged in respond.
"Any reason to grab Tony's alcohol is as good as any." The blonde replied.
Everyone glanced at one another, shot glass in hand, contemplating their decision. "Think of it like a team bonding." Y/n talked again, he cocked his head at Yelena who turns on a song and a familiar tune started playing, a song that would get anyone from any generation dancing (excluding Steve, perhaps). Dancing Queen by Abba.
Y/n had a goofy grin on his face, dancing into the tune, Pietro followed through while Yelena occasionally bopped her head. Sam was the first to grow a grin on his face. Steve, Natasha and Wanda looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "It's Abba!" The falcon said as a matter of factly, he then downed in shot.
"That's the spirit!" Y/n said excited as Sam danced to his direction.
Hesitantly, cap started to walk forward earning a disbelief gasp from Natasha. "Rogers, really...?"
"I mean, I really did enjoyed Mama Mia...." The American boy said with a sheepish smile.
As soon as the lyric's intro came in, Y/n puts an arm around Steve with a microphone in hand. "You can dance!"
"You can jive!" Sam pulled the microphone to himself.
"Having the time of your life!" Those who were already in the circle sang simultaneously, Natasha rolled her eyes but if you squint you could see a tiny smile there. Meanwhile Wanda shifted closer to Natasha watching the group in amusement.
"See that girl!" Y/n pointed at the two, and the other followed. "Watch that scene, digging the dancing queen." He sang, "Come on dancing queens get in here!"
Natasha shook her head fondly, holding back a smile.
"Wanda, Wanda, I know you want to join us girrlll..." Y/n said playfully to his best friend, the boys and Yelena were beckoning her to join. Natasha looked to her side and true enough, Wanda was biting her lips, contemplating whether or not she should join. "You like this song don't lie! Natasha, help me out." Wanda did in fact like this song.
The way her body swayed subtly to the rhythm, her eyes glinting with anticipation, the only thing that's holding Wanda back was herself. Fuck it, Natasha thought to herself. She then held Wanda's arms and dragged her into the group who cheered when they joined. "Wha- Nat, no I-"
"Come on, little witch." Natasha said, turning to face Wanda and raised her shot glass. "Loosen up a bit."
God, Wanda couldn't decline, especially when her crushed smirked like that. They clinked their shot glass and downed their drinks.
------
As the clock got closer to midnight, the more they drank, and the more they drank, the more chaotic it gets. The song they choose ranges to many different genres, in the beginning Pietro and Y/n mostly sang something boyish, like rap or rock. Then as the two gets progressively drunker they sang something what would be describe as 'Girly Pop'.
Steve sang some old 40s song, which was refreshing especially after hearing Y/n's off tune singing voice. Everybody except Natasha was surprised to hear Yelena singing American Pie wholeheartedly, Natasha even sat next to her and sang it with her briefly.
Although the highlight of the night was probably the time Yelena, Pietro and Y/n sang and dance to the song 'Wannabe' by Spice Girls. Natasha had to hid her face with her hand while Sam was laughing his ass off and leaning to Steve for support. Wanda was like a giggling maniac the whole time as she was secretly recording it for some black mailing material on her twin.
Mid-song, Yelena pulled her brother subtly and pushing a very drunk Pietro forward. "Take it for a spin, Maximoff!"
"So, here's a story from a to z-!" Pietro started rapping his part drunkenly.
"She's not drunk enough." Yelena said to Y/n who was trying to stable himself.
"Yep, the alcohol hasn't hit her yet, and Pietro's not going to be much help-" Y/n covered his mouth suddenly as he felt a vomit, he then answered after seeing Yelena's raised eyebrow. "Sorry- Don't worry I got this, hold a bottle."
"Slam your body down and wind it all around!" Pietro continued singing with Yelena twirling his ass in what this generation would describe as 'slay' manner, Y/n drunkenly sauntered over to Wanda who panicked when he started pulling her to the make shift stage.
"No- No, let me go, Y/n!" Wanda protested.
"Just take a shot and come with!" Y/n practically yanked her and they stumbled over to the middle of the living room. "Cheers!" He said while knocking his glass with hers and Wanda finally relents and knocked back her shot.
"-make it last forever, friendship never ends!" Y/n sang while putting an arm around his best friend, Wanda cringes at the bitter taste of the alcohol, she had a few drinks in already but she was never really fond at the taste of vodka.
"Wanda!" Yelena said, suddenly putting an arm around the her as well. "Oh, honey, you emptied your glass already."
"N-no, Yelena, I just dra-"
"Don't you worry, I got you." Yelena said while pouring her another shot, Wanda's eyes widens. She glances to the side and locked eyes with Natasha who raised a teasing eyebrow at her. "Yes, now we cling!" The blonde haired woman said while raising her glass.
Reluctantly, Wanda clinked their glass awkwardly and took a deep breath before taking another shot. She doesn't know how many shots she have taken from that moment, all she knew was that she felt like dancing.
Natasha watched as Wanda's dance move progressively become more fluid and at ease in contrast to her usual shy self. The spy smiled to herself, dance with her. Natasha shook her head at the impulsive thoughts. At some point during the song 'Teenage Dreams' by Katy Perry, Wanda was handed a mic by Yelena. Thankfully this time Wanda was drunk enough not to refuse, and instead grinned like a goof.
When Wanda sang the second verse, Natasha almost lost her breath because she sounded so... beautiful.
"We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach. Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets."
Wanda sang with her eyes closed, smile on her face, swaying her body to the rhythm. "I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece, I'm complete." The witch opened her beautiful green eyes just to have a similar looking ones staring right back at her.
Wanda giddily approached Natasha and extend her hand, "Wanda-"
"Come onn, Tasha!" Wanda pleaded. Tasha, well that's new-
Natasha hesitantly looked around, the trio were holding onto each other while slurring to the song, Sam had passed out, and Steve... Well, he gave Natasha a knowing look before helping Sam up to his feet and gave Natasha a look that says 'Don't mess this up, Romanoff.' And walking off with a drunken Sam.
"We can dance, until we die. You and I..." Wanda sang waiting for Natasha to finally grab her hand, finally the spy relents and took the witch's offering hand. "-we'll be young forever!"
Wanda practically yanks Natasha into the middle of the living room.
"You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream. The way you turn me on, I can't sleep. Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back!"
The younger woman puts a hand on Natasha's shoulder, swaying her hips while singing the lyrics. Natasha was unsure if she should put her hand on Wanda, keep it to the side, on Wanda's waist perhaps?
"My heart stops." The witch suddenly tilt Natasha's chin so their eyes meet. "When you look at me," Natasha's breath hitched in her throat, "just one touch...." And the rest of the lyrics seems to died on Natasha's ears as all she could see was a drunken state Wanda making her confession crystal clear.
Wanda turned and moved her body sensually against Natasha, without hesitation, the older woman puts a firm hand on Wanda's hips to guide her moves. Wanda shivered when she felt Natasha's hot breath on her ear. "Imma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans." She grabs Natasha's hand and trail it up her body, a silent plea to the older woman to touch her. "Be your teenage dream tonight..."
Fuck... if Natasha had no self-restraint, she would've taken Wanda here and there. "Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans" Wanda turns around to face Natasha again and this time the younger one guided Natasha's hand to rest on her thighs. "Be your teenage dream tonight...."
The song reached it's mini pause. Wanda, almost in desperation and system full of alcohol wrapped her arms around Natasha and leaned in til their nose was touching. "I want to kiss you so bad..." She whispered.
"I-" The redhead was at lost for words, her eyes looking deep into those beautiful green eyes, searching for any signs of hesitation. Blown pupils were looking right back at her, slowly it travels down to Natasha's lips. Fuck this.
As soon as the song started again, Natasha gently cup Wanda's face with one hand and pulled her into a soft kiss. Oh Wanda's heart could explode right about now, for a second her mind became stone-cold sober so it could remember this moment properly. Wanda drops the microphone she was holding and puts her hand on the older woman's cheeks, using her thumb to caress her soft delicate skin.
"You make me, Feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream The way you turn me on, I can't sleep Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back."
The two women were now lost in their own world, they failed to notice the cheers from their own respective (very drunk atm) siblings. Wanda was taller than Natasha, but she went on her tippy toes and wrapped her slender arms around the spy. Natasha craned her neck a little, smiling into the kiss, her arms securely on (her) the little witch's waist.
"My heart stops, when you look at me. Just one touch, now baby I believe this is real. So take a chance and don't ever look back."
Wanda felt like she was on cloud nine, feeling Natasha's soft lips on hers. Oh those sweet plump lips she's been day dreaming about for months, honestly, she felt like the main character in a movie. A teenager if you will in a coming off age movie, is this what Simon felt like from Love, Simon? The song was quite spot on, as Natasha made her feel like a teenager once again, or at least what she assumes a teenager would feel. She never really got to properly enjoyed her teenage years, but here she is. With the woman of her dreams.
"We're siblings for real!" They finally broke the kiss after hearing a drunken Y/n made the statement, arms on both Yelena and Pietro who were just as equally drunk as him. Pietro mimicked his sentence, and Yelena only nodded her head while occasionally raising her glass. Natasha and Wanda shared a look as they held each other, the spy snorted while her counterpart giggled at the scene.
It seems like the trio had put Katy Perry's song on shuffle, because the beat to 'Last Friday Night' started playing.
They started chanting "We did it!" matching their words to the tune of the song, the two couple shared a look.
"Do you wanna get out of here?" Natasha asked, a small smile on her face.
"Yes, please." Wanda replied shyly before being dragged out of the living room by Natasha.
-------
The witch woke up groggily on her bed, her eyes needed time to adjust to the light that were peaking into her room. She groaned and fell back onto the bed with a thud, shielding herself from the light like a vampire allergic to it. "Ugh... what did Yelena put in my drinks." She grumbles.
All of the sudden everything came rushing back into her memory like a tidal wave. I kissed Natasha...
She hastily sat on her bed and looked around. She remembered they kissed, but... how did they end up here. Wanda remembered Natasha asking her to move out of the living room, oh my god did we slept together? The witch's face started to match her battle suit as she thought of the possibility, wish I could've remembered.
Her throat felt dry so she decided to grab herself some drinks in the kitchen. And to her surprise, Natasha was already there. Humming to herself and cooking breakfast, Wanda let in a sharp breath at the sight. Of course, being the trained spy that she is, Natasha greeted Wanda without having to turn around.
"Good morning, Wanda. Slept well?" Natasha asked kindly.
"I don't know how you do that." Wanda muttered.
The spy chuckles to herself, "What I was trained for, little witch. I already put a glass of water for you by the table. Bacon and eggs alright?"
Wanda glanced at the table and surely enough Natasha already prepped a big jug of water and a glass for her. "Oh thank you, you're a godsent..." The younger woman took a seat and dawned her water, and then also her second glass of water.
Natasha walked by her and set a plate for both herself and Wanda. "What a night was it?" She said with a hint of tease.
The brunette only nodded her head while drinking her water like it was the last one on earth. She dropped her glass with a sigh of relief and glances at Natasha, a faint blush appeared on her cheek almost immediately. Wanda cleared her throat before answering, "It was, thank you for breakfast."
"You're welcome." She replied simply, her body still angled a little to the side, one arm propped on the head of the chair whilst staring intently at Wanda.
"Natasha, I..." Wanda started, oh god suddenly her throat feels dry again. The spy gave a small nod, urging her to continue. The younger woman started fidgeting with her finger. "I don't regret it," Wanda finally looks at her. "Kissing you, all of it, I don't regret any of it."
A smile tugged the corner of Natasha's lips, but before she could answer, Wanda started rambling on.
"B-but it's ok if you don't feel the same. Or that it was just a heat in the moment kind of thing."
"Wanda, relax." The older woman put a gentle hand on Wanda, she inhaled sharply at Natasha's action. "Listen... I'm no better at this. However, if your interested, I would like to take you out on a date." Natasha smiled at her, oh god, Wanda's heart was beating a mile minute. Wait, wait, she said date?
"I- Yes, I would love that." Wanda averted her gaze, the intensity of Natasha's green eyes was too much. The sheer intensity of the spy's gaze could turn her into a puddle of mess.
"Good, I've been dying to try this restaurant." Natasha said while turning her body now to face her breakfast, she took one bite of the bacon before continuing. "I hope Southeast Asian cuisine isn't too spicy for you." The spy said teasingly.
"Oh please, you underestimate me." Wanda responded with a slight bump of their shoulders, yet a question still lingers on her mind. "Hey uh... Sorry, I was just wondering. Did we uh... do anything?"
"What do you mean? We kissed." Natasha answered cluelessly.
"Yeah, but I remember you took me to my room. I couldn't remember anything from there, so... I was just wondering if we did anything." Wanda asked, her voice progressively gets more timid the more she explains.
"Hmmmm, like what? Watching a movie?" The spy said while looking up to the ceiling as if deep in thoughts, small smirk on her face.
"Tasha, stop messing around." Wanda said with a playful eyeroll.
"Tasha, huh? That's new." She continued to teased her little witch. Wanda playfully pouted her lips, of course Natasha couldn't help but give in to that. "Don't worry, little witch, nothing happened. I took you to your room, we made out for a little bit and before you finally fell a sleep in my arms. It was a adorable." Natasha added the last bit with a shrug and a smirk.
Wanda's face got increasingly red, "Ugh..." She groaned at hid her face in her hand. "I'm sorry."
"Don't hide that pretty face, as I said, it was adorable." Natasha pried away Wanda's hand, the witch relents and was greeting with a fond smile from Natasha. One she rarely saw, god she's so fucking beautiful.
And unfortunately for them, it had to be ruined by the trio... Again.
"Ughh.... my head-" Y/n groaned.
"I feel like skipping gym today." Pietro chimed in.
"Keep up." Yelena responded with a bored tone. She was sweating, probably went on a run.
Wanda and Natasha mentally cursed at themselves and returned to their own respective breakfast. The trio rummages through the kitchen, finding cereals and bowls, Yelena opted for an apple instead. They sat down across Natasha and Wanda, Y/n was first to point out the obvious of course.
"So...?" He asked them excitedly.
"So what?" Natasha raised an eyebrow at him.
Only for him to raised his eyebrow right back, "Did you guys shag?" Yelena piped in, Pietro groaned.
"No, don't answer that-" The older Maximoff covered his ears while Wanda shrunk in her seat.
"I'll take that as a yes!" Y/n yelled excitedly.
"First of all, we didn't." Natasha said firmly, "And second, I don't see how that's any of your business."
"Oh, but it is." The redhead narrowed her eyes at him, but it was too early to deal with her brother's antics.
"Look whatever you saw, zip it." Natasha stated, "I personally want to keep this under wrap, if this goes out to the press they're going to have a lot of questions and I don't want to deal with that."
"I'll second that." Wanda muttered, casting Natasha a grateful look to which the older woman smiled in response.
Y/n scoffed, "Whatever, I'm great at keeping secrets. Beside, I'm just glad the whole sexual tension can now be resolved-" He shuts up immediately upon seeing Natasha's glare.
After a few minutes of silence and eating their breakfast, Y/n's phone notification started going off like crazy. "Oh, Piet I think one of our videos got viral."
"Where let me see." Pietro leaned over to take a look, and upon opening the app, their eyes quickly widens. "Why would you upload that?!"
"I didn't! I must've- Fuck..." Y/n panicked, and by that, really panicked.
"What's going on?" Natasha asked.
"Nothing!" The two men said simultaneously, fuck... if Natasha finds out they're screwed. However, before they could delete the evidence, Natasha snatched the phone from her brother's hand. Wanda leaned closer to take a look and gasped. Yelena only snorted and excuse herself as she had an idea where this was going.
It was a footage of them, kissing, wrap up in each other's arms, lip tight in a passionate lock. Fuck, Katy Perry was right, Pictures of last night ended up online and they were screwed. "Y/n..." Natasha said warningly.
Without a second thought Y/n dashed away from the table with Pietro who zooms past him with his superspeed.
"I'll fucking kill you both!" Was Natasha's last word before hunting them down one by one.
#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#wandanat#natasha#wanda x natasha#wanda#wlw#natasha x wanda#wandanat fanfic#wandanat fanfiction#wandanat fluff#scarletwidow#scarletwidow fluff#scarlet witch#black widow#natasha alianovna romanova#bisexual wanda#lesbian natasha#mcu fanfiction#mcu fanfic#mcu sapphic#natasha x sibling!reader
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Destiel Trope Collection 2024 | Day 20: Canon Compliant
hunger | @autisticandroids Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1,632 Main Tags/Warnings: Endverse Cas/Dean, Endverse, Bittersweet, Discussion of Lazarus Rising, Angel True Forms, Dirty Talk, Fade to Black Summary: Endverse Cas talks about what it was like to have Dean inside him.
There'll be peace when you are done - are you done? | @brainfuzz Rating: General Word Count: 3,216 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Finale, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On,Post-Canon Fix-It,Fix-It Summary: Like most fans, I thought the final episode was terrible. I also thought were gaps that made no sense, and not just the missing people (who was Sam's wife, really), but gaps in the story. The biggest gaps for me were the âfind anything? Yeah I got somethingâ leading to a pie festival, which somehow abruptly turned into a vampire clown clownpires, clowpires? hunt, with no explanation of how that happened. So, I figured it out. And fixed the ending so it made sense all at the same time.
no proof one touch | @watchinghimrakeleaves Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5,389 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Finale, Love Confessions, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester in Heaven, Castiel and Dean Winchester Reunion in Heaven, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Everyone Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester Summary: When Castiel learns that Dean has entered heaven, he's determined to avoid him to save them both the pain of dealing with his confession. Dean is equally as determined to find him, leading him to put up signs for Cas anywhere he thinks the angel might be.
Day after day, sorrow in his heart | @silver-stake-through-the-heart Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 20,058 Main Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Alastair (Supernatural), Jack Kline, Mary Winchester, Sam Winchester, God | Chuck Shurley, POV Dean Winchester, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Mental Breakdown, Self-Loathing, Suicidal Ideation, Suicide Attempt, Pining Dean Winchester, References to John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Brief Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Self-Blaming Dean Winchester, Nightmares, Castiel's Handprint (Supernatural), Episode: s04e01 Lazarus Rising (Supernatural), Temporarily Human Castiel (Supernatural), Demon Dean Winchester Arc, Godstiel Arc, Dean Winchester's Season 13 Widower Arc, Castiel and Dean Winchester's Season 15 Divorce Arc, Episode: s15e18 Despair - Castiel's Confession Scene (Supernatural), Post-Episode AU: s15e19 Inherit the Earth (Supernatural), Hopeful Ending Summary: Everything begins when he crawls out of a tomb with no name, where he's been buried alone. So alone, in fact, there isn't a single living soul miles and miles around. Everything begins earlier, but he can't remember it. Everything begins later, in a barn, and each second of it is engraved in his memory. There are so many beginnings for this story, and so many endsâeach and every one breaking his heart.
An Abundance of Light (WIP) | @presentlydean & catidono (AO3) Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 56,340 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Donna Hanscum & Jody Mills, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Jack Kline, Slow Burn, Original Characters - Freeform, nephilim & cambion, Jack as God, hunter hub Sam Winchester, Eileen deserved better 2k22, Internalized Homophobia, Canon-Typical Internalized Homophobia, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Isolation, self-destructive behaviors, Communication Issues, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst with a Happy Ending, kissing for comfort and also gay, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Panic Attacks, conflicting love languages, They're stupid your honor Summary: Jackâs new rules for heaven are simple: no intervening in human affairs. But when Dean is mortally wounded on a hunt, that simple directive becomes impossible for Castiel to follow, so he does what he does best and rebels, returning to earth to save Dean. But life on earth after Chuck is more complicated than any of them could have predicted. Dean retreats from the world, Castiel struggles to meet Jackâs expectations, and Castielâs deathbed confession still hangs unresolved between them. They are free now, but having freedom and knowing what to do with it are two different things. After years of trauma and pain, learning to make a different kind of choiceâa kind that will allow them to healâis easier said than done.
Far From Heaven: Part One | @Taymarpigeon Rating: Explicit Word Count: 102,086 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Heavy Angst, Gratuitous Smut, Fluff, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Top/Bottom Versatile Castiel/Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Dean Winchester Has Internalized Homophobia, Homophobic John Winchester, Extremely Dubious Consent, Wing Kink, Canon-Typical Violence, Angelic Grace as Lube (Supernatural)Angelic Grace-Powered Orgasms (Supernatural)Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Dom/sub, POV Alternating, BDSM, Risk Aware Consensual Kink Summary: For years people have joked about Dean and Cas being boyfriends, Dean shrugged it off 'cause, well, reasons. As for Cas? Well he's Cas! Probably didn't even know what his dick was for before Metatron stole his Grace. But Metatron did steal his Grace. Cas is human now. And Dean certainly knows what his dick is for. Sometimes a relationship doesn't start with flowers and a boombox held on your shoulder outside your crush's bedroom window. Sometimes it starts with a homicidal Angel, a failed date, and arguing in a storm.
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I did not expect hostility over my Flat Chest mod, so I'll half acknowledge it and kill some of the assumption before they take roots in other people's minds
No, I did not make this mod *because* I refuse to support Na's flat chest mod
Initial Mod idea was a working "binder" for Fem, something you'd equip to flatten the chest- like a real life binder, basically. It's part of my To-Do list of June, for Pride
The mod evolved as I got more ideas, I also started working on a body replacer, it's basically ready to ship as well, but I decided against it; not to step on toes and causing confusion with two "flat chest" body mods, knowing there is also another one in the work from a fellow modder
(the binders themselves will come much later, and will be available for both fem and masc body frames!)
Again, the mod started as a "binder"- I mentioned it multiple times, either in servers where I started sharing the idea, and in the tags of my mod post
"Binders" are not costumes. They are gender affirming aid, something a lot of person use; I've made a couple of "wearable" / "switchable" body parts mods in the past already, including a trans masc vagina, I really hope you don't see this as a costume as well?
In the universe of Cyberpunks, implants and synth skin are used by everyone, for all kind of purpose; GNC people, trans people and gender-fluid people would probably use implants and cyberware to sculpt themselves, feel comfortable in their body
Who's to say some rich citizen wouldn't have some fancy switchable body pieces- hell it's even canon in game, Mr.Stud and Mrs.Midnight? Switchable boobs are already a thing, I don't see what's wrong with switching up for a flatter chest
The survey's results aren't out yet, so I couldn't know. But that's beside the point, as my mod isn't a "bandaid" for any issue this fandom may have
If the name is causing trouble, I'm open to changing it; but the main goal, again, was to flatten the vanilla fem V chest, and I think "flat chest" is pretty straight forward for nexus users
Mmmh. Sorry but, no
Everyone is different and handle their own space differently, and I do not want to support people who did me, or my friends, any serious mental health damage. Be it from harassement, witch hunt and whatnot
I won't be dragging in there old drama from 2 years ago, but I simply won't support someone who tried to get a friend of mine fired from their work place, threatening to send a 30+ pages google doc to their leads and boss, and dragging all of their personal beefs to the public on multiple social medias. They ruined my friend's mental health, and I simply won't forgive nor forget.
That is my right. And I wish people would accept and respect that.
I won't tell anyone who to support or what mod to use/not use, NOBODY should tell you what to do, what to support, who to like or dislike; and nobody can control who I must support and what I must do. Simple as that
And I'm glad the flat chest body mod exist for people who wish to use it! I'm offering another option that I'm sure some people will find useful
Thank you :)
People already gave me trouble in the past for "doing work that already exist"
Those past few weeks has been eventful when it comes to "drama" especially involving Zwei, who's notorious for having a modding monopol and gatekeeping ideas in general
Let's not bring that same mindset here, yeah?
Everyone is free to mod what they want, whatever body they want, to refit what they want!
Again, just to point it out, mod isn't there to fix a problem, that's just a mod I wanted to make
It's a brand new mod, meaning it needs refiting; I did not test the flat chest bodymod, nor tried the already existing vanilla refit. And I won't, for the reasons I cited aboved a few lines before.
I'm glad you agree! Nobody has to do things they don't want to
You call it disingenuous, and I call it having principles/self respect; again, crazy how different people are from one another, and how we just can't assume everyone work and react the same as we do
I see, I see, the name is a big issue; I'm open to suggestion, feel free to leave a reply and I'll see what catches my eyes
Cause It's still my mod, so I get to decide
Anyway, hope this cleared up a few things, and sorry this made people upset!
For everyone else, thank you for the support đ§Ą
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