#also a bonus i just discovered about listening to the constant: sometimes you will be reading a book

[captainjonnitkessler]

Recently started listening to “The Constant” podcast after seeing your post about it and wanted to thank you for introducing me to it. I’ve been working my way back through the archives and just finished up the Sister Pact episode, which I enjoyed quite a bit because I’ve always been a little fascinated by the personal and political causes behind supposed demonic possession cases. It’s nice having a new thing to get into and I’m really enjoying Mark’s presentation style. (…but if you or someone else reading has any other recommendations for things in an audio format, similar or very different from The Constant, I’m all ears.) Again, thanks for the intro, and have a good day.

Yessssssss my agenda is working

I'm really glad you like it! It's such a cool podcast and I really love Mark as a host, he's great.

Hmmm the other nonfiction podcasts I listen to are Maintenance Phase, a fat-friendly podcast about the health and wellness industry with a focus on debunking misinformation and pseudoscience, You're Wrong About, a podcast that looks into the truth behind well-known figures and events that have a lot of common misconceptions/got blown way out of proportion by the media, and Sawbones, a comedic podcast about medical history and some of the insane things that used to be considered medicine.

I also have a bunch of recs in my "podcast recs" tag that I'm still working my way through, and if anyone else wants to drop recs here I'd appreciate it!

[gofancyninjaworld]

A stone can be a treasure

I've been mooting talking about King and Saitama's relationship for ages, and until recently, I'd not appreciated how different it is between the manga and webcomic, how incredibly important it is in the manga and how big a difference it has made.

As far as most people are concerned, Saitama and King became friends when Saitama came to King's apartment, slew a giant crow that had it in for him, discovered the truth about King and decided to be his gaming buddy anyway.

See you below the cut for a lot more! :)

Those who play together...

It was initially a pretty casual friendship in that King and Saitama hung out and played games. It's not changed too much in the webcomic. King in the webcomic is still a very lonely character. He does a bit of this a bit of that, and he's making his slow, saccadic progress in his own way. And Saitama still gets to tell King home truths, without having to hear any back from King.

...fight together

However, in the manga...

King in the manga started to change with a very small decision. I've spoken before about how small decisions characters make snowball, taking Genos as an example. For King, that fateful decision came in chapter 77, when he decided to talk to Saitama as a person, the way Saitama had been the first person to actually talk to King as a person back in chapter 39.

King becomes the first person ever to call Saitama out on his shit. And critically, the first person whose advice on what Saitama might want to change Saitama was prepared to give any weight to. Briefly, but at least Saitama thought about it for a bit. Knowing Saitama, he'll probably act on it at some point in his own way.

That tiny decision firmed up their relationship enough for King to do something that would be unthinkable to his webcomic self -- call a monster over trusting that Saitama would have his back. He even advised Saitama on how best to approach the matter. Little thing, just shout at a monster. He literally shat himself in the process, but he did it.

From that, King develops so much more faith in Saitama that he agrees to return to the battlefield, trusting that Saitama would somehow show up. It made King's showdown with the cadre a much more deliberate affair and the unadulterated joy and relief with which King found his faith rewarded was a total bonus for us!

If that was all there was to King and Saitama's burgeoning relationship, it'd be pretty damn good. Going from casual friends to friends who can truly talk to one another, including saying the hard-to-hear things is pretty awesome. As much as Saitama listens to anybody, he listens to King. King being able to trust Saitama to the extent that he does is also amazing.

But that's not all...

Uncrossing The Stars

The best of friends don't just hold us accountable, they help us grow. King does not come between Saitama and Genos. In fact, he helps bridge the gap between them.

To begin with, King prompts Saitama to act positively rather than feel vaguely awkward in matters concerning his disciple, with the result that Saitama stops moping in the apartment and goes out to find out what's happened to Genos.... and not a moment too soon, either.

I still love King looking skeptically at Saitama as the latter tries to pass off his relief as blowing off steam.

One thing that is constant between Saitama in the webcomic and Saitama in the manga is that he is VERY SERIOUS ABOUT HIS HERO HOBBY. Saitama is entirely dedicated to his hero hobby, he believes in the value of heroism and he loves and protects heroes. He gets furious whenever anyone treats heroes or heroism with disrespect, whether it's Suiryu calling them worthless or Fubuki playing her silly cliquish games rather than being the best hero she can be.

As far as Saitama has been concerned, Genos is the guy who does hero work as a vehicle to get stronger (like when he fought Machine God G4) and sometimes comes off worse. It's felt increasingly unjust that Saitama has kept missing that Genos really is a hero. Saitama sees the aftermath of Genos's fights, but not the process, so he sees Genos's corroded body after the Deep Sea King spat on him, but not the little girl for whose sake Genos took being spat on. The perverse result is that we've seen Saitama prepared to recognise, respect, and encourage any hero -- Mumen Rider, Glasses, Child Emperor to name but three -- *except* the one right in front of him.

It looked like things were no different when Saitama found Genos on the battlefield and asked who'd beaten him up (his disciple as victim). Since Genos wouldn't speak for himself (that's just who he is -- he's one of those people who sees explaining as excuse-making), King told Saitama that Genos came to the state that he was in because he'd been protecting Tatsumaki. Just like that, King changed the way Saitama saw Genos.

Watch Saitama's face and attitude change as he sees his disciple as a hero for the first time. This is the first time Saitama is seeing someone he would care to acknowledge as his disciple. It would not have happened but for King's intervention. In his little stone-like way, King has set right a great injustice.

It's not that King's fundamentally different in the webcomic. It's just that he doesn't have that kind of relationship with Saitama. I really feel the difference because there's no one holding Saitama to any kind of account in the webcomic. Decision by decision, in the manga King is forging a different path from the one he otherwise might have trod.

King may have latched onto the stone metaphor that Sekingar used to describe people of small capabilities who leverage them well, and goodness, has he proved a treasure in Saitama's life.

[haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles]

Unspoken: Chapter One - Oikawa Tooru x f!reader

Oikawa has been in love with you since you became a manager for the university’s volleyball team, but keeps it to himself in fear of what his fan club might do to you if they found out

genre(s): college!au, mutual pining (mostly Oikawa), friends to lovers, angst, eventual smut  words: 3k+

a/n: don’t worry folks, i just got carried away with this fic and felt it would be better to split it up. chapter 2 is complete and will be up tomorrow 💖 with a bonus smut ending if you are a heathen like me. enjoy ~ J ✨ i am also sorry i made the fan club so bitchy

taglist: @takingyouruwus @kurosarium @apollochjld @afterglowkuroo  (lmk if you’d like to be added to my general or a specific taglist!)

Chapter 2 

The Oikawa fan club is definitely not a fan of you, and you certainly aren’t of them. Not because you have a crush on him too but because they’re obnoxious and take the best seats at volleyball games. It also doesn’t help that they outright despise you. They don’t even try to hide it. Snickering in the hallways at school or passing quick remarks whispered amongst them at games. You really aren’t a fan of that. You don’t care, you don’t care, you don’t care—you chant to yourself to keep your tongue locked behind your teeth. It isn’t worth your time or the effort.

Not until you hear one of them hiss today at the game, “What is she even doing up here? I thought she’s the manager,” a scoff. “Guess the team likes Miko better.”

Your fists ball instinctively. You can’t sit down there, as much as you’d like to. If they knew anything deeper about volleyball beyond Oikawa’s killer serve and being obsessed with his ‘pretty hair’ they’d know that you might be a manager but there is a senior manager who outranks you and only one is allowed on the bench down on the court.  

Though you have to admit, sitting up here in the bleachers with the Oikawa ogling brigade in front of you—the manager—fawning over his every move is degrading. You don’t necessarily have to sit directly behind them, but god dammit you want to see the game too and are willing to grin and bear it for the sake of the team. You can’t sit in the normal cheering section crowded with students either since you arrive late and would have to sit at the back of the stands. So, this is the better of two options, even if today the fan club is being particularly petty.

“Or maybe she’s just a wannabe,” another snickers, loud enough that you know she is intending you to hear it.

That pushes you over the edge, making you abruptly stand up. You’re wearing a university volleyball club jacket for fucks sake! Are they really so shallow as to start slinging rumors like that around? They jolt at your sudden movement, glaring back at you, clearly with no intention of apologizing. They so obviously just want you to leave.

You want to watch the game, support the boys you watch work so hard and work hard for yourself, but you don’t want to be around for this bullshit. You know shouldn’t care, but you do, and it fucking ruins the game for you.

Instead of giving them some mean remark like you’re itching to throw at them, you just turn on a heel and go. You stride up the steps and towards the exit right as you hear the crowd gear up for Oikawa’s serve. You stop once you reach the doorway, fists clenched and trembling with anger, furious at yourself for letting them get under your skin. Exactly like they wanted to. You should have stayed as a silent ‘fuck you’ to them, but you can’t stomach going back either. Not like they even care anyways, probably too wrapped up in Oikawa’s serve. Now a sigh escapes you; forcing your hands to unfurl and stretch the ache that formed from how tightly you had them clenched.

You need to take a breath and move on. You have nothing to prove to them, all the matters is that you know where you stand. It also makes you feel better that the team actually knows you, they can pretend it isn’t true all they want but that doesn’t change that you get to spend time with the team, and inevitably, Oikawa. A fact they loathe.

You end up lingering in the hallway near the entrance to the gym, waiting for the game to finish. Usually you can be a part of the between game meetings if you want to, sometimes you can’t get down there fast enough but sitting here in the hallway, you’ll make it today. While you wait, you slide down the wall to sit, leaning against it and pulling your legs close to rest your chin on.

You like to think that you have tough skin and their words can’t hurt you, but they do. And while you may not put the same about of blood, sweat, and tears the boys do into the sport—you put in your fair share for them, and it’s hard to be met with scoffs and sideways glances purely because of jealousy. You’re appreciated enough by those who matter, so why are you so bothered by the fan club?  Shaking your head at the fleeting thought that it has anything to do with Oikawa, you convince yourself it’s just annoyance that you can’t enjoy games like you’d like to.

Interrupting your thoughts, the whistle blows to signal the end of the game and you perk your head up. You’re grateful for the distraction, not really wanting to delve deeper into your thoughts about Oikawa, and peek into the gym. Miko notices your head in the doorway and waves you in to join the huddle.

Ha, take that fan club. Wannabe my ass.

Miko’s movement catches Oikawa’s attention. He looks to where her attention is drawn and watches you beam before throwing the door wide and joining the huddle by Miko’s side. He wonders what you were doing waiting by the door, normally you wait until the last possible moment before bolting from your seat in the bleachers to join the huddle. You never want to miss a single second of the game, which he finds rather endearing. And he can’t remember the last time you skipped out on a game early.

He stares at you, trying to get your attention, but you’re fixated on the coach, no doubt trying to soak up as much information as possible. It makes his mouth curve ever so slightly at how eagerly you listen during these huddles. When you do briefly slide your gaze over to him, he gives you a questioning look to which you just shake your head at and point discretely at the coach.

Ah. Your way of saying, ‘shut up and listen’.

He supposes he likes that about you. Your bluntness.

So, with an eyeroll, he fixes his eyes on the coach, fully intending on pestering you later about it. He tries to grab you before the next game, but you hurry away as soon as the whistle is blown, and his fingers grasp empty air.

The team wins the next set, winning the match without going to the 3rd set. As customary, he lines up with the team to thank the spectators and Oikawa gets the chance to pick you out in the crowd. He spots you off to the side, and he’s noted since meeting you that you don’t sit with the cheering crowd, but rather on your own. It’s never too hard to find you, your face split in two by a smile as you clap for them. It’s then that he notices who is sitting directly in front of you.

He fights the urge to frown. He likes to think he’s a polite guy, having always given attention to his so called ‘fan club’. He got used to it in high school, the constant barrage of placating a group of fans, but had been secretly looking forward to hopefully leaving it behind. Only to have a new one re-emerge within the first few months of school. The other guys on the team weren’t too keen about him for a while after that. It took him forever to convince them to tolerate him again.

And he hates that they give you trouble. Ever since they discovered you interact with him outside of school, it seems they deemed you an enemy. He tries to stay away from you during regular school hours, keeping it limited to volleyball only, but lately the two have started bleeding together. He simply can’t help himself, however selfish that may be. Gathering his things, he wonders if they’re the cause for your weird behavior earlier.

He glances at you helping Miko put away the chairs, a tight feeling constricting his chest. God—if he ever told you how he actually feels about you, what would his fan club do then? How miserable would they make you? But damn him to hell, he’s selfish, and it doesn’t stop him from striding over to you cooing your name.

Without hesitation you reply, “Oikawa-san~,” in the same sing-song voice he uses for you. You don’t even bother to look over your shoulder at him, continuing your task.

“What was with the little peeping tom imitation earlier?”

You’re glad to be facing away from him, your skin prickling with the thought of having to explain to him that his fan club was pissing you off. Surely earning yourself a more prying follow-up question that you definitely do not want to answer. So instead you shrug, brushing off his question, “You guys were so far ahead, and I was sure your serves would end it, so I figured I’d actually be a part of the entire huddle.”

He squints, finding that to be rather out of character for you. “You missed my serves though!” He pouts, deciding it’s better for him to let you off the hook than continue to pry. He doesn’t think you’d tell him anyways, no matter how much he pesters you.

“Oh, big baby. I missed what? Two?”

“What if they were my best yet!” He protests, leaning around you so you can see his impressive pout. It delights him that he elicits a smile from you, peering at him from the corner of your eye, clearly finding his antics amusing. “Guess you’ll have to help me with serving practice to make up for it.”

You stick your tongue out at him, which he hates to admit he watches very closely as you answer, “Fine.” Though, truthfully, he’s not really pulling your leg too much. You like helping him practice.

He can’t help how his mouth turns downward into a frown as another member of the team, a bold freshman, butts into the conversation. “Need any help?”

Though he does find immense delight at the way your face falls to a neutral expression, giving him a curt, “I’m alright, thank you.” You don’t even turn to him, instead tilting your head to look at Oikawa continuing, “Oikawa-san is more than enough help here. Why don’t you see if they need help putting away the net?”

The freshman slinks away and Oikawa has to physically restrain himself from doing a victory lap as you shove a chair into his hands grumbling to yourself. The muttering continues as you move to put away more chairs, loud enough that he catches you say, “Is he ever going to get the hint?”

“What?”

You almost drop the chair you’re holding, turning wide-eyed at Oikawa, not realizing you’d been talking out loud to yourself. “It’s nothing.”

He frowns. “Is he bothering you?”

God he’s talking so loudly, making you nervous that the underclassman might hear him. “Can you talk any louder?” You hiss. Oikawa’s expression doesn’t change, however, and you groan really not wanting to get into this right now. “He’s been at it for a couple weeks now,” you say, trying to play off the situation as best you can. You’ve never had someone as persistent in pursuing you as he is, or someone as oblivious to your subtle rejections either.

You vaguely wonder if this is how Oikawa feels all the time with his fan club.

“Wanna pretend to date for a while?” He suggests harmlessly in your opinion, but very selfishly in his. And while he knows he isn’t joking in the slightest—you certainly think he is and bark out a laugh at the idea of fake dating him to get the underclassman off your back. “What?” He pouts. “Is it so crazy of an idea?”

You’re laughing even harder now, enough that people are beginning to look your way, so you swallow you remaining laughter and wipe your eyes dramatically. “It just don’t want to be murdered in the dead of night by your fan club, that’s all.”

You go back to collapsing chairs and don’t notice Oikawa stiffen. He doesn’t like being reminded that his fan club will literally rip apart any girl he is even remotely interested in. And he isn’t just interested in you. He likes you. A lot.

Clearly not thinking anything of this conversation, you say over your shoulder, “What are all those muscles for if you’re not going to carry more chairs than me?” He blinks back to reality and makes a show of picking up way more chairs than you and putting them away faster too. That only earns him a scowl in response, but he knows it’s only for show.

~

“Oh, pleeeeeease?” Oikawa almost gets on his knees begging you. Practice is done but he wants to stay late and hammer in more serves before the night is over. And sue him if he thinks it’s way more enjoyable if you stay to help him. “You promised last week!” You groan, scrunching your eyes tight, not wanting to look at his stupidly adorable pouting face that usually breaks you. It doesn’t help that you can feel he is standing very close to you. “You’re going to have to open your eyes sometime.”

“Nope, I’ll walk all the way home like this.”

He pleads your name again. “You’re going to miss the rare sight of Oikawa Tooru on his knees for you!”

You don’t budge. “Nice try.”

“I’m serious!” Now he really does get on his knees, dramatically putting his hands together to beg you. “This is a once in a lifetime chance!”

He keeps it to himself that you could definitely get him on his knees for many different reasons.

He’s sure that he’s broken you when you groan loudly and peek an eye open at him. Upon seeing that he is being serious, both of your eyes widen, and you have the audacity to start giggling at him. “I should take a picture.”

That makes him scramble to his feet, sticking his tongue out at you. “You better not.” It just makes you grin and his heart soars at the sight. He can’t help that your smile makes his stomach do somersaults. He takes you by the arm and drags you further into the gym before jogging over to the other side of the court and grabbing a ball from the cart.

He loves that he doesn’t have to tell you what to do. You’re already digging through your bag to find objects to place around the opposite side of the net for him to aim for. He notices that you’ve placed some of them very meanly—some sitting just barely on the outside line, others in spots that he has a record of having trouble hitting. And while it makes his chest swell with pride you even notice his performance, the scowl across his face betrays his annoyance that you aren’t making this easy.

If you’re going to help him—he’s going to have to work for it.

And hell, if that doesn’t drive him wild.

“Those good?” You ask, stepping off to the side, a smug smirk splayed across your lips.

You know exactly what you’re doing.

He levels a look at you that you return with a sickeningly sweet yet utterly terrifying smile. “You’re going to have to do better than that, I’m afraid.”

Your smile transforms into something that makes his stupid fucking shorts tighten, holding his gaze steadily as you challenge, “We’ll see.” Then you tear your eyes from his and he feels like you’ve ripped his chest out with it and like he can barely get enough air into his lungs. He knows the challenge is to drive him to do better, to perform the best of his ability, but damn—he’ll give 110% for the rest of his life if you ask him to.

You will never admit how much you love watching Oikawa play volleyball. Watching him shift from his teasing, easy-going smile, to this intensely serious and calculating gaze that while foreign to you—is also so strangely familiar. You feel lucky to be able to watch him up close, someone who has honed their craft, yet is ever looking to be better. When it comes down to it, you truly admire Oikawa and want to be there to watch him grow and see where he goes. Because to you, the sky’s the limit for him.

Where the hell are those thoughts coming from?

The sound of a volleyball slamming onto the court, sending the notebook you placed on the line skittering across the floor, startles you. “Hey! Pay attention!” Oikawa scolds. You quickly apologize, knowing full well how much a stray volleyball can hurt. “And make sure you’re watching! I’m going to hit every single one of those first try.”

You nod, a bit blankly, still reeling from the thoughts tumbling through your head. He tosses another ball up, his powerful thighs straining as he thrusts his body upwards, hand meeting the ball at the perfect point—the sound of his hand cracking against it almost as loud as the sound that reverberates around the gym when it connects with the floor. It all happens in the blink of an eye, but you feel like you’re watching it in slow motion until his feet touch the floor and you’re jolted back to reality.

God, what the fuck is going on with you tonight?

Oikawa isn’t blind. He knows you’re watching him. And it sends such a thrill down his spine he doesn’t know what to do with himself besides channel as his energy into his serves. Otherwise he’s going to do something very stupid tonight.

You’re uncannily quiet for the remainder of the night. Just watching him serve over and over again, and when he’s finished, helping him pick up the balls and set up the targets so he can start again. He is desperate to know what’s going through your head, but he lets you stew, just as interested in what conclusion you might be coming to on your own.

It’s not his fault that his imagination runs absolutely fucking wild that night. He can’t sleep, theorizing what changed today—if anything did. What were you thinking about as you watched him so intently? What flipped the switch? Are you thinking about him right now, lying awake in bed like he is? It torments him even in his dreams.

~

He does keep you awake that night. You can’t get the image of him out of your head. His voice either. It’s infuriating. You try to convince yourself he’s just a friend. That all those late nights in the gym, all the times he’s walked you home, all the bus rides you’ve fallen asleep on his shoulder, are harmless. He hasn’t wormed his way into your heart, he hasn’t made you fall in love with him slowly and quietly and its only now hitting you like a tidal wave—has he?

Fuck. Has he?

You’re grateful your roommates’ room is down the hall, giving you the freedom to scream into your pillow.

Are you a fucking Oikawa fan girl now?

You don’t know the difference between you and them is that he’s been in love with you a lot longer than you can even imagine.

[cultivating-wildflowers]

Books of 2021, September

(Posting this now because there’s no way I’ll finish another book before the day is out.)

Reading slowed down toward the end of the month (managed to land in a bunch of thick reads at once, and none of them audio) and I still didn’t get to many of the books on my TBR. I’m also not counting a reread of The Ballad of the White Horse since it’s all of two hours on audio.

#65 - Mark of the Raven by Morgan L. Busse (original ‘21 TBR)   - 5/5 stars

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. Finally I found another Christian fantasy novel/series that isn’t heavy-handed about morality or allegory. The writing style was clean, if sometimes repetitive (trust me, after saying it four times in two chapters, I know the guests from that one noble house have blond hair), and there were moments of heavy exposition in the form of dialogue between characters who wouldn’t have needed to share such basic information they all knew; but neither of those complaints greatly detracted from the narrative. It kept a good, steady pace, the stakes were clear, and I cared about the characters. It was very easy to enjoy. And that ending!

Also also! A princess-adjacent character who never complained about dresses, the advantages of her birth, an arranged marriage, or her duties to her family!

I definitely plan to read the sequel.

#66 - Rainbow Valley by L.M. Montgomery - 3/5 stars

I miss Anne. Her children and the Meredith kids are adorable, but I miss Anne.

#67 - Flight of the Raven by Morgan L. Busse - 3/5 stars

MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE. YES.

So much angst. Excellent characters. All the angst. Strangers to friends to lovers. ANGST.

Aaaaand then it went a little weird. Like, awkward Christian romance kind of weird where I misheard a bit of dialogue and ended up in the fetal position, cackling until my stomach hurt, while a friend demanded to know how that got past the editors.

Toward the end I kind of gave up. The author did a certain character dirty and I can’t countenance that. I’m not sure why she chose to make this character a POV when she ended up killing her before her internal conflicts could be realized and addressed. It felt incredibly contrived and forced and did absolutely nothing for the plot or the main character; while keeping said character alive would have added some depth and conflict that could have aided the story.

Right up until like the last quarter of the book I was content with the pacing and the stakes, even if the plot was kind of basic. But with that ending, I’m not sure I want to finish the trilogy because I’ve kind of lost interest.

#68 - Rilla of Ingleside by L.M. Montgomery - 4/5 stars

This one hurt. Like, I knew what was coming. I accidentally read a “spoiler” and then Lucy alluded to it back in...Anne of Ingleside? So I knew what was coming and it still hurt.

I wasn’t ready for heartache yet here I am. Yes, I cried. Yes, it was probably a bad idea to read this right around 9/11. But it was still good.

As I don’t currently have any interest in The Blythes are Quoted, this closes out my read-through of the Anne of Green Gables series. Overall I loved it. Overall, even in the grief, it was a comfort.

#69 - Bloomability by Sharon Creech - 5/5 stars

Borrowed the audiobook of this middle grade on a whim and thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s a favorite book of one of my writing friends, so ended up on my TBR on her recommendation. A quick, fun, cozy sort of read. Weirdly enough it reminded me a bit of The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls; possibly the similarities between that story and Dinnie’s “first life”.

#70 - The Dragonet Prophecy by Tui T. Sutherland - 3/5 stars

Read this at the insistence of my Sunday school class. So many kids have told me about this series.

I can definitely see why they enjoy it so much, and it would certainly have been a series I’d have devoured at their age. However, I wouldn’t say it carries over well for older audiences. (Not that this is a bad thing, only the reason I probably won’t read more unless it’s with my nephews in a few years.) And like...it’s so over-the-top? Everywhere you turn there are beheadings and murders and blood and angst. Not really my speed.

#71  - Orphan’s Song by Gillian Bronte Adams - 4/5 stars

I’ve had this book on my radar for a while but hadn’t planned to get to it until next year...but I needed something to listen to and the audiobook was on Hoopla. (Most of my reads this year have been audio...)

Definitely enjoyed this one. The characters were the highlight here; the writing style was easy to fall into but nothing remarkable, and the plot was pretty basic. (Nothing bad with “bad guys trying to take over the world and one girl with unknown power can stop them”, but it’s not complicated.) Excellent pacing, rich dialogue, organic world-building. My one true complaint is that the MC was supposed to be 12 but she acted and spoke more like 15 most of the time. My other, personal-taste complaint, is that the magic system seems a little deus ex machina. While I will definitely recommend this book (especially to my students), I don't think I'll continue the series.

#72 - The Electrical Menagerie by Mollie E. Reeder (original ‘21 TBR) - 5/5 stars

It took a while for the characters to develop. Before that, it was the delightful world that drew me in: the steampunk Wild West, the islands, the tech, the culture. Reeder crafts a delightful story and you can sense her experience and personal interests coming through in the details. The plot was well-paced and engaging, and I loved the dialogue. By the time the characters came into their own I was hooked. Thoroughly enjoyed this little adventure.

Bonus? The fantasy world Christianity was an easy fact of life and not heavy-handed at all.

#73  - The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien (original ‘21 TBR) - 5/5 stars

I’ve long held that the first time I tried to read this book (back in high school??) I never finished it. But I remembered certain events which, it turns out, take place toward the very end of the book, so now I think I did actually finish it that first time and then just...forgot.

Anyway. I had a goal to read this in a month. Given the number of chapters, I had planned to read one a day, and have a few extra days in case things got crazy.

It...didn’t quite work out that way. Thankfully most of the chapters are short but I had a spate of time where I was too busy to read or didn’t have the brainpower for it. When I actually sat down to read a chapter I could get through it relatively quickly, and then in the last few days of September I just crammed. (And shouted at Tarva, the major Tolkien nerd among the friend group, much to her delight.)

This book is heavier than LotR, yes, but there is still that constant thread of hope tracing through it, however dark things may be. And that’s what I love most about Tolkien: that he saw and endured so much darkness, and out of it he painted light.

DNF:

The House of DunRaven by Steven Thomas Lympus (original ‘21 TBR)

The writing style was pretty off-putting and I couldn’t get into the story. (He started it off with a good scene, asked an important question, and then went back to explain stuff. Which works if it had been a chapter of explanation at most. No, I was into Chapter Four and he was still explaining.) Absolutely didn’t care about the characters. Not at all invested.

A Dance of Thieves by Mary E. Pearson

Almost not worth mentioning since I only got one chapter in. What on earth was the author doing giving weirdly detailed descriptions of every single character? (I later discovered this is something like a companion novel to an established series? All the same, clearly not my cup of tea.)

Deerskin by Robin McKinley

I had high hopes for this, but it turns out not even McKinley can redeem this fairy tale. In fact, I think she might have made it worse. There isn't even a donkey that poops gold.

Even if I’d finished it, somehow, I still would have detracted points for the narrator. Her voice was dry and muffled and dull, with almost no inflection even where there should have been something for McKinley’s dry sarcasm.

100% would not recommend this book based on the content. Reviews suggest McKinley handles it all pretty well, but all the same....

[oneboxofmatches]

This is a request I did for the amazing @strawberry-caffeine​ -- she’s been so kind to me and it was an absolute joy to do this request!

A few things: With the length of the request, while I still included friendship matchups, I decided not to write out descriptions/explanations along with them. To (hopefully) make up for that, I put the #1 friendship choice in BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS with two other bonus characters I think you’d be good friends with in regular bold type (except for the Harry Potter: Marauders era because there aren’t many choices haha). I hope this is okay!!

Here we go!

--Supernatural--

I romantically pair you with…

JACK KLINE

You’re good at hyping your friends up? Please give this boy all the hype in the world -- he needs it.

Seriously though, one (out of many) of the reasons Jack loves you so, so much is how you’re able to talk him out of a slump. His constant doubts and insecurities regarding his identity plague him often, and the fact that you’re willing to both listen to him pour his heart out and still find a way to reassure him means the world.

Jack’s also still getting the hang of the whole “talking” thing, so you helping him along when a lull in the conversation arrives makes him feel supported.

Not only does your helpful nature benefit Jack, but it’s also one of his favorite traits of yours! He believes in a kind, just world and consistently seeing that from you never fails to bring a bright smile to his face.

Whenever you bottle up your feelings, however, Jack is admittedly at a loss at first. Though it would take patience, turning these moments into teaching opportunities will help him become more in tune with emotions over time.

During these moments, all he wants to do is help -- even before he really understands what’s going on. He’ll ask you what you need and rush to assist in any way he can. He hates seeing you hurt, it’s as simple as that.

Jack loves being around you because he learns so much, and you’re just as eager to teach him. Together, you learn to appreciate the little things in life because you both bring such different perspectives to the world.

Overall, the kindness you show Jack from the beginning is what drives your relationship, and he makes it his goal to make sure you know how loved and appreciated you are in return.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

CASTIEL, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Charlie Bradbury

--Harry Potter--

In the Golden Trio era, I romantically pair you with…

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM

Honestly, Neville’s insecurities may make him feel a little intimidated by you at first. Thoughts like, “How could someone as friendly, energetic, and spontaneous as her ever love me of all people?” are pretty common in the early stages of your relationship.

Of course, you help Neville understand fairly quickly that you aren’t going anywhere. Because you’re so good at reading and interpreting emotions, you’re able to assist him with addressing these doubts head-on. These personal conversations are what truly solidify your trust in one another and serve as the strong foundations of a powerful bond.

Also, Neville really appreciates your ability to keep a conversation going. He sometimes struggles with this himself, but he’s relieved he doesn’t have to worry about these shortcomings when it comes to you. Talking with you just comes naturally.

While his verbal communication can use some work, Neville is one of the best listeners to have on-hand when it comes to any problems that arise in your life. Someone’s pushing you to your limit? Neville has all the patience in the world to let you rant so you don’t have to bottle up your feelings. Need to talk through solutions to personal issues? He’ll give you his undivided attention while you work your way around to an answer, providing feedback if you ask for it. Feel the need to ramble? Neville will not only listen, but he’ll actually take a genuine interest in whatever it is you’re talking about.

While he otherwise second-guesses all his decisions, Neville surprisingly really enjoys venturing on unplanned, impulsive adventures with you. A favorite for the both of you is exploring areas on the grounds or in nature. You’re usually the one to charge ahead, excitedly talking while Neville hangs back a few steps. He takes in his surroundings, sure, but mostly he’s just watching you and simply feeling happy from the joy you radiate.

Speaking of things you love to do together, gardening is near the top of the list! One of Neville’s deepest passions is botany, and he doesn’t share his knowledge with just anyone. Seeing you take a true interest in your shared garden gives him all the warmest, fuzziest feelings imaginable.

Overall, you’re the one to bring Neville out of his shell, and he’s the one who takes time to listen to you. You bring out the best in each other, and your unbreakable bond makes the two of you fiercely loyal until the end.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LUNA LOVEGOOD, Nymphadora Tonks, Molly Weasley

In the Marauders era, I romantically pair you with…

REMUS LUPIN

You want to talk about one of the most understanding and patient individuals out there? It’s this one.

While Remus isn’t always keen on discussing his own emotions, he is very astute when it comes to sensing the well-being of others. Whether you’re burnt out, overwhelmed, on the verge of a breakdown or something bad just happened to happen to you that day, he knows.

Having people like James and Sirius as friends has taught him both how to tune in to the ramblings of a hyper person as well as how to utilize selective hearing. Remus realizes that he never wants to use that second skill with you. Unlike his friends (who he loves very much, mind you) he wants to take in everything you tell him.

It’s this active listening that makes Remus an excellent gift giver. A majority of the things he gives you are from offhand comments that you don’t think twice about making in the moment.

One of Remus’s absolute favorite things about you is the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you’re passionate about. He finds this trait so endearing, and it’s an easy way to make him smile.

Caring for you when your thoughts are traveling especially fast becomes second nature to Remus. Whenever he knows that he’ll see you, he always has at least one outlet (pen/paper, alcohol marker, etc.) for you. He’s also more than fine with you drawing something on his hand if you’d like -- he loves watching you work and he also gets to walk away with something that can remind him of you!

Remus also excels in history, reading, and writing, so I can definitely see many conversations between you two that revolve around these subjects. Also, after both of you complete your own essays, I believe proofreading and/or discussing each other’s work would become a habit of yours.

Overall, the shared ability to read and interpret emotions as well as the simple wish to care for one another draw you two together to form the sweetest couple around!

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LILY EVANS

--Marvel Cinematic Universe--

I romantically pair you with…

PIETRO MAXIMOFF

Pietro was first drawn to how easily you can hold a conversation. He recognized immediately how easy it was to joke around with you once you warmed up (which didn’t take long -- Pietro’s somewhat gifted with the power of easy conversation himself). You both felt comfortable around each other relatively quickly.

Yes, Pietro’s known for his impossibly quick movements, but no one stops to think that this requires impossibly quick thinking. While Pietro has had some time to grab somewhat of a hold on his abilities, he still struggles with thoughts that just move too fast for him. You show him some of your tactics for dealing with this, and it literally changes his life.

Up until that point, your interactions had been mostly fun and rather lighthearted. But helping Pietro in such a thoughtful way and relating to him on a level that no one usually can made him see you in a different life. That’s how he knew he loved you.

This can be a chaotic relationship at times to say the least.

Many of your conversations can hardly be followed because you often build off of each other’s energy. While your quick minds are often on the same page, a third person might not be able to keep up.

Pietro does NOT hesitate when it comes to standing up for you. As soon as he learned about your people-pleasing habit, he took it upon himself to be on guard for anyone who could possibly take advantage of you. While you may find it hard to say no, Pietro has no problem stepping in and telling someone to back off.

You might feel as if he goes a little overboard with this sometimes, telling him that it “wasn’t right to be mean to that person.” He’ll just glance at you, shake his head and start up a lecture (albeit not a harsh one -- he really does care about you!) about asserting personal boundaries.

Pietro and his ego LOVE compliments, so you can expect a welcome reaction to each one you give him.

He’s also a big fan of going on spontaneous trips, discovering different parts of the world side by side.

But he’ll also settle for getting to hold you while you two talk about your day.

Overall, Pietro has no problem matching your energy, and you both want nothing more than to discover the adventures life has to offer together.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

VISION, Thor, Tony Stark

--Hamilton--

I romantically pair you with…

JOHN LAURENS

John has a lot of respect for someone who manages to include everyone, so it’s no wonder you caught his eye.

First impressions already told him you were friendly and empathetic, but discovering the more energetic and spontaneous side of you? Yep, he was in love.

Both of you have always had a desire to help people, so being able to do that with someone who shares the same passion and energy feels special. You’re more than a couple; you’re a team.

Whenever John’s troubled by what’s going on in the world, it doesn’t take him long to turn to you. He’s one of the most stubborn people alive when it comes to admitting he needs help, but all he knows is that talking to you seems to relieve him of some of that load (please be patient with him!!).

Meanwhile, he knows you have your own ways of coping with racing thoughts so he feels comfortable giving you space when you need it. If what you need is a person to listen, however, he’s there in a heartbeat.

Serious topics aside, you two just know how to have fun! Between your friendly personalities that naturally draw others in and your impulsive natures that (most of the time) lead you to exciting experiences, you make so many mutual friends! Sharing a group of close friends -- surprise, surprise -- brings you and John even closer.

Overall, you and John can always be found by each other’s side when facing whatever comes your way, good or bad.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

PHILIP HAMILTON, Marquis de Lafayette, Peggy Schuyler

[inkblotsandeggshells]

My take on feminine enbodyment and female empowerment

This concept of modern feminism and pushing men out of the picture affects me differently than the average woman, because I was raised without a dad. When my mom adopted me and my other siblings, she never got married and instead asked her best female friend to step in and help raise all four of us. I was very loved, but I felt that absence of a father all my life. It affected nearly every part of my childhood and teenage years, and it continues to affect my adult life. I wanted to get a boyfriend and eventually get married, but the only constant guy in my life was my older brother. Therefore, I had very few examples of what respectful, good, masculine men looked like.

When I was a sophomore in college, my roommate at the time showed me a YouTube channel called Blimey Cow, and they had made a video called “Ten Ways to get the Right Guy to like You.” I hadn’t thought about this video or this channel in a few years, because they primarily make Christian content.  I’m not a Christian anymore, nor do I agree with all the beliefs of Christianity. However, I decided to go back to this video two days ago, because I remembered how these creators directly challenged how our culture defines female empowerment. Specifically they used this video to present that challenge, with an emphasis on noting the difference between female liberation and female objectification. Some of the suggestions they made to help girls find the right guys included showing interest in their hobbies, supporting their local chivalry, letting the guys in their lives know they appreciate them, putting less emphasis on how much skin they show and more emphasis on who they are as a person.  As a 20 year old college kid, these young content creators made a bigger impact on my views on men, women and the hyper-sexual movement than I would have thought. As a result, their video gave me the nudge to dive deeper into this topic through writing.

When you first learn of the term “female empowerment”, it sounds attractive enough: women being seen as a force to be reckoned with, authoritative, strong leaders who are goddesses in nearly every way. Rather than being stuck at home to take care of the kids, women are encouraged to pursue their career dreams, step into more masculine leadership roles and “be the boss”, for lack of a better term. It all sounds appealing until you start to dig deeper into what’s behind the phrase “female empowerment.” One big part of how I discovered this occurred last summer.

In July of 2020, I chose to invest a serious amount of money to an online holistic sex course. It was called Well-F*cked Woman, created by a woman named Kim Anami. Through using the tools learned through this six week course, Kim claims to have helped thousands of people all over the world, especially women, to connect with the untapped power of their sexual energy. She believes that a big reason why people are as stressed, unhealthy and unhappy as they are is because they’re not having the right kind of sex. Moreover, they’re not having the right kind of sex often enough. Whether you’re in a couple or single makes no difference. If you want to gain body confidence, get orgasms or even heal ancestral trauma, Kim claims this course would teach you how to obtain all those things by utilizing your sexual energy.

When I read the information on it, I became very intrigued. After several days of listening to her podcasts and reading her blogs, I became more convinced that this course could be a big help for my personal well-being.  At the time, my goal was to use the course to heal some of the imbalanced sacral energy I still had. Hopefully, it could even heal some ancestral wounds I carried in my DNA. If I achieved that, finding a romantic partner would be more of a bonus than a direct goal. So when I received the stimulus check from the government, I used that money to pay for the course and one of Kim’s jade yoni eggs.

For each of the six weeks, we would get a video with a written syllabus to discuss different topics, most of which revolved around sex. One week we would focus on self-love practices, one week we would talk about the relationship between sex and money, another week we learned about food, etc. In that first week, I began the exercises easily enough. However, I also started to feel very conflicted about the information we received in this course. For example, in the syllabus about self-love, one of the first statements Kim made about women is that “most have rape fantasies.” Admittedly, I didn’t really understand what that meant or what it was, until a friend told me. Once I did understand it, it bothered me deeply, to say the least. As someone who claimed that her work helped heal women’s sexual trauma, to hear Kim make such a statement right off the bat made me feel uneasy.

In a separate journal, I had written down my progress of the course and some of the conclusions I had made about what it taught and about the woman who taught it. In one entry, I had observed that it seemed to take a lot of money to become a “well-f*cked woman”, by Kim’s standards. If needed, it could possibly add up to hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars. For instance, if you wanted to use a jade egg as a sexual healing tool, that cost $300. The six week course itself cost almost $1000. Kim also recommended using therapy injections to change your neural pathways, if you were a victim of sexual trauma.  Just getting one injection is expensive enough, but if you “need” more than one injection or appointment, that will add up fast. Sadly, such treatments are not easily accessible to everyone who wants sexual healing. It certainly wasn’t for me.

Additionally, a recurring message that came up in the course was that it’s important for couples to have sex more than once a week. In this case, it wasn’t talking about the faster paced sex described as being numb and fleeting. On the contrary, Kim wanted us to aim for the slower, orgasmic, breath focused sex where you’re working to maintain and build up a flow of sexual energy. While in some ways, this course educated people on sex differently than our modern culture, some aspects seem pretty similar to me. For example, one night stands are still seen as acceptable situations to practice generating this energy. We were encouraged to practice sex acts two to three times a week, to the point of becoming sex addicts. Also, even though Kim frowned upon pornography, we were still taught to utilize BDSM as a way to create polarity in our relationships. This was to make sure that “spark of passion” was maintained for the long term. Lastly, Kim would sometimes demonstrate problematic double standards when it came to showing examples of how to respect your partner. In one of her stories about “helping” her partner become confident with himself, she talked about making a point to touch his private parts in public, whether he was okay with it or not. If not, she claimed “it was his problem.” In my opinion, if they’re genders had been switched, she would have been called out for her disrespectful behavior immediately among the group.

In this class, Kim discouraged us from using substances like alcohol and drugs during the practice, because of how they damage the body. On the other hand, she promoted addictions to sex as something positive, as something to attain for as a human being. Whether you are in a couple doing the act or you’re a single adult who’s just masturbating, you were encouraged to have some kind of sex several times a week. According to Kim, it needed to get to the point where you felt you couldn’t go about your day without generating this energy. “What an addiction does is that it causes you to stop thinking,” says Michael Knowles, who was a guest on the Candace Owens Show discussing modern feminism.  “It enslaves you. It makes you prone to certain behavior, and when you’re not thinking, that’s when the people who want to grab power can come in and force it on you.” Too much of anything can be detrimental for your well-being, on all levels.  During a time where protection of boundaries for my spiritual life had become very important, this way of thinking pushed me to discover what kind of boundaries I had and to stick to them. In this case, it lead me to the conclusion that if being like Kim meant being addicted to sex, disrespecting the men I care about, and using methods of sexual control for the sake of “polarity”, then I would rather not be like her at all.

With all that being said, I believe the big question is this: how exactly does the WAP culture of free sex and female empowerment differ from the holistic sex culture I learned about in the summer of 2020? How does our pop culture differ from the Well-F*cked Woman course, in how we’re being educated about sex? In my opinion, one culture pushes the more superficial, fleeting benefits of sex in our faces, while the other pushes for using sex and sexual energy as a way to harness untapped power. This power can, supposedly, be used to energize us, heal our bodies, and manifest things into our lives. Regardless, both cultures seem to be more concerned with using sex to gain power than using it as a means to express true love.  Both cultures seem to encourage women to “embrace their femininity” by leaving their underwear off more often. Both cultures seem to promote double standards on how partners should respect each other and their boundaries. Both cultures still push us to become addicted to sex in order to have a fulfilled, happier life, because according to them, every aspect of our lives will disintegrate without it.

As a result of the lockdown, last year turned out to be most isolating time for us, and it was intense enough to put many people into a deep state of depression. At a time when everyone is stuck online and forced to keep further apart, this is when people in the online sex business—holistic or otherwise—will benefit the most from that loneliness. They can use it to make those profits and fill their own pockets. This becomes more obvious when you observe their marketing tactics, including the ones I noticed for Kim Anami’s website: unless you give me your money and do what I tell you to do, you will never be “well-f*cked.” Everything in your life will deteriorate unless you become “well-f*cked.” You will be a brainwashed zombie forever, easily manipulated, unless you become “well-f*cked.”As my friend Lee Yun would say, “These tactics are designed to create an empty void in people that can’t be filled.” In the cases of some individuals, even if they were to try, it would cost them more time, money and energy than they were lead to believe.

For those of you who wonder if I still keep up with the practices I learned from this course, I haven’t. At least, I haven’t kept up to the degree that would be necessary. My jade egg is sitting on my altar collecting dust, even as I write this. Because of the amount of money I spent to buy the egg, this is not something I’m proud to admit. A jade egg is a sacred, special tool that deserves to be put to use for the highest good, and eventually, I will find a teacher that can help me do so. I just don’t want to have to conform to this holistic “WAP” standard to get there.

Surprisingly, by reflecting on my past through watching Blimey Cow’s videos, I realized there are still some values about sex, intimacy and femininity that I learned as a teenage Christian that matter to me now as an adult witch. In my opinion, sex is something very sacred that should not be taken so lightly, because of how it connects you to your partner in an intense, physical and spiritual way. For me, I take it seriously enough to still choose to wait until I get a husband and to choose not to masturbate. Additionally, when I do have sex with my lifelong partner, it will be as much about him as it will be about me. This means respecting and honoring him as a man as well as I know how. In my opinion, if you encourage people to use something like sex to attain higher spiritual goals, but neglect to show basic respect to your partner’s boundaries about his body, then in the words of Jordan Taylor from Blimey Cow, “you’re doing it wrong.”

 Michael Knowles interview with Candace Owens on the Candace Owens Show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejWIEMs8ecg

Blimey Cow’s YouTube video, “Ten Ways to Get the Right Guy to Like You”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqF_PtugyBk

[bymoonchild]

Sugarplum Elegy (M) [Preview]

[Edit] FULL FIC HERE

Pairing | Jungkook x Reader Genre | Fluff, smut, angst / College!AU, FWB!AU, Soundcloud singer!AU, Idiots to Lovers!AU  Warnings | Explicit language, hopeless and helpless pining, constipated feelings, lots of smut, rimming, cum-eating, blowjobs, face-sitting, fucking sinful please brace yourself though it will... be soft as fuck as well because jungoo and the stars in his eyes demanded it to be soft..!, more to come Summary | There’s no bounds nor depth with Jungkook. While your fuck buddy loves sleeping in your bed and doing laundry for you with his favourite fabric softener, you, originally a die-hard rap fanatic, are in love with a mysterious honeyed, velvety voice on Soundcloud. All’s fine, until you find out that the voice that metaphors your heart to a sweet sugarplum melody actually belongs to the boy who has been taking up a special spot in your bed and in your heart, strumming at your heartstrings all this while.

Or, Jungkook has one braincell, but it’s heart-shaped.

Est. release date | Mid July 

There’s no greater testament to love than being in love itself. The aching process of it that continues forever, until the end of time and the pure vulnerability of being bound up together with another emotionally and physically. To love in every sense of the word is to offer your entire heart and place it on someone's bare hands, while knowing that there's a chance that they might crush it right in front of your eyes or behind your back.

Maybe love is like a dandelion, pretty in the summer mornings, but when a huge gust of wind hits, its petals will be blown away, leaving its heart barren, abandoned. And given your past relationships, forming a fresh new ache and vulnerability for yet another person frightens the fuck out of you.

So whenever you wake up to a Jeon Jungkook beside you, lulled by the quiet sound of his breathing, your heart fizzles in your chest. It’s really a no-strings-attached agreement that you two have decided on at the beginning of the year, but it still feels weird and surreal, especially when the first thing you see is his peaceful face, unless he’s spooning you, his warm breath tickling against the back of your nape. It’s weird because it feels nice, feels so right.

Though it's been six months since you two started the whole fuckbuddy agreement, you still can't get used to how warm Jungkook is, always so warm that it softens and melts your sharp edges. While his body still sends zaps down your spine, your mind registers that you’ve actually grown to adore the heat of his body when your cold feet are always finding themselves tangled together with his under the sheets. It’s crazy how you relish having his arm wrapped around your waist, as if the sun has chiselled its way into every single pore of your body.

Sometimes, you’d wake up to Jungkook staring at you, caressing every detail of your face with his eyes alone. He’s not much of a morning person, but there are times you’ve woken up to him smiling like a fool (an adorable one at that) at your groggy and sleepy self, as though your crusty morning face turns him on even more because it often leads to the continuation of the previous night’s copulation before scrambling to class.

There’s no bounds nor depth with Jeon Jungkook. If anything, you’ve come to a conclusion that in your entire life, you’ve never met a single person quite like Jungkook before, like the cosmos has moved for this concurrence to be possible.

It seems like you discover a new side to your fuckbuddy as the days go by, which keeps you on your toes and brings a smile to your face, but nothing can ever beat the dorky Jungkook that becomes a freak in the sheets when he pounds into you mercilessly or pulls your hair as he buries himself deep inside the hilt of your throat. Nothing beats the feeling of having his body pressed up against yours as he whispers sweet nothings that caress and fan against your skin like invisible marks that will always be there. Burning from deep within.

Two months into the agreement, you find out that he loves your bed and the dick appointments are always at your place because he claims that your bed is ten folds comfier than his. You can’t seem to fathom why because you find his bed equally comfortable to sleep on and it probably smells much nicer than yours, mixed with the brew of his musky scent and peach shampoo.

When sex becomes a daily thing and a mixture of scents now lingers in your room, Jungkook starts bringing more of his stuff over and that includes his favourite fabric softener, just because he can. He makes sure that he’s over every Saturday to do laundry and even folds your clothes for you because he’s the self-proclaimed Laundry Senpai and all laundry duties are to be entrusted to him.

It’s moments like these where you know that Jungkook has undoubtedly carved himself a permanent space in your place and he does it so effortlessly with his dorky, endearing self and bunny smile. Slotting into your life effortlessly, becoming a constant beyond the late night dick appointments and becoming one of your best friends, someone you text and exchange dank memes with on a daily basis, someone you trust. You adapt to him quickly, and he accepts you unconditionally. In an odd way, it’s like he’s always meant to be by your side. It’s like the cosmos knew.

You hear Jungkook humming from behind you, comfortably settled on his side of the bed, while you’re hacking away at your laptop to finish your paper. You normally can’t work with noise, but his soft humming falls quite sweetly on your ears.

“Hey, you almost done?”

You spin around and spot Jungkook in only a pair of sweatpants, flaunting the ripples of his toned chest and abdomen. You have no idea why he even bothers to put his pants on when both of you know that he’s going to take off them later.

“Getting a little impatient?”

A little pout plays on his lips, “No, it’s just that… You’ve been at it for hours and I’m kind of sleepy.”

“O-Oh, have you been you waiting for me? Why don’t you get ready first?”

“Actually, I thought we could, you know, just sleep tonight,” he smiles sheepishly, the curve of his cheek squished from where he is lying down on his pillow.

“You mean like…?”

“You’re tired, aren’t you?”

You nod.

“Then hurry finish your work and get your ass here. My arms are kind of lonely here. And it’s cold.”

You can’t deny that he looks so gorgeous, so tempting, waiting patiently for you with that familiar tender gleam in his eyes as he pats down at the empty spot beside him.

“You’re cold? You’re literally my personal heater,” you laugh, tinges of amusement dancing in your orbs, slipping under the sheets beside him.

Chuckling softly, he leans in and makes sure there’s as little space between your bodies as possible from head to toe, until the tip of his nose is brushing against yours and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. He playfully throws a leg over yours, pressing the strong cleave of his chest up against you and his body heat immediately engulfs you, sated and warm. There’s a fire in him, made of soft, satin embers.

Jungkook holds back smiling like the fool he is, busy drinking the sight of you and the closeness of you in, but that roseate flush that blooms over his face betrays his heart’s desire, spreading across the bridge of his nose and then over his cheekbones. The way his long, feather-like eyelashes brush the bone of his structured cheeks doesn’t escape your notice either.

If stars could take human form, they’d look a lot like Jungkook.

“Want to hear a bed pun that Jin-hyung bombed on us today?”

“Sure,” you feel a smile growing steadily across yours too, resembling his.

“Never mind,” he shrugs casually, his eyes crinkling up at the corners “It’s kind of sheety.”

“I fucking hate you!” You let out a whole-hearted laugh, doubling over to shove a pillow at Jungkook’s chest, “Don’t know why I put up with your dumb ass.”

“Because you love my dick!”

bonus

[you] [16:35] hello are you open for business today [16:36] i would like to make a dick appointment

[Big Dick Dude 👅] [16:36] hi yes, welcum [16:36] we have a slot from 8pm all the way till 9am the next morning [16:37] we provide dinner service too. any preference?

[you] [16:37] i would like some nuggets with a Big Dick on the side

[Big Dick Dude 👅] [16:37] okie dokies. your reservation has been confirmed [16:37] n.e ways, want to hear a joke about my dick? [16:37] never mind, it’s too long

[you] [16:38] sorry can i cancel my appointment? i don’t remember asking for a lame willy

hope you enjoyed the preview! i can feel another long ass fic coming,, can just feel it in my left tit. jokes aside, the plot be pretty thick but it’s basically [BREAKING] 70% idiots pining for each other hopelessly, 15% smut, 10% angst and 5% me talking about the stars in jungkook’s eyes. also, did i mention that i want to eat jungkook’s ass? yeah, adding that to my fic 👉👈

i haven’t fully planned out all the scenes but! this will do for now pls give me the strength and motivation to finish writing this by mid july... or else school is going to resume and... i might disappear for another 6 months 🤪🤪🤪

the title is a song by Niki !! pls give it a listen i love her!! and if you liked the preview,, would you be so kind enough to send me your thots... or like/rb it hehe thank you mi lovelies 💗

[padfootagain]

Watching Movies With Richard Would Include…

Okay, an anon asked for some cute HC for Richard being your boyfriend. And I'm sorry, anon, but that is the most unprecise ask you could have sent. And I can't write a headcanon that is so unclear. So I've decided to narrow it down to one subject: watching movies. I hope you like it anyway! Here we go…

Also, it's my first piece for Richard, so please, tell me what you think because I'm super nervous to start writing for him!!

WARNING: So much cuteness, my own heart is bursting!

If you ask for them, I will be happy to make more HC for him about other particular subjects, but I find it very hard to write for general HC so please, be more precise.

Gif not mine

Word Count: 2157

*At the cinema

 -Going out for a good movie is always a nice way to spend a lovely evening.

-He lets you choose the movie most of the time, except when one he really had been waiting for is coming out, then he will insist on seeing it and reach a level of excitement that would make a five-year-old proud.

"Okay, what time is it?" **growling** "Why does time pass so slowly all of a sudden?"

"Richard, you're being ridiculous."

"I've been waiting for this movie for FIVE months!"

"Just a few more minutes to wait, relax."

"I can't wait to see it…"

-He lets you choose the seats, he doesn't really mind if he's closer or farther away from the screen.

-Pop-corns or Maltesers. No other snacks allowed.

-The moment the lights are out, his fingers move closer to yours until he reaches your hand and he generally doesn't let go until the lights are burning again.

-You often end up resting your head on his shoulder, especially if the movie is romantic or sad. Intertwined fingers the whole time. Sometimes he rests his hand on your thigh instead. If he hears you crying too hard, he'll drop a soothing kiss in your hair and give your fingers a reassuring squeeze or soothingly stroke your thigh.

-Richard is actually so damn good at crying in silence, most of the time, you don't even notice that he's crying while you're struggling to sob in the quietest way possible. You'll only know he had been crying when the movie ends and he finally sniffs a little and dries his cheeks. When you look up at him, he's not hiding his reddened eyes and merely smiles at you.

-If you're watching a funny movie though, it takes all his strength to not be too loud. He generally ends up loosing it, bursting out laughing anyway so much that he's crying.

-Spooky movies have both of you jumping in your seats and him cursing under his breath every. Single. Time. He jumps, he curses. Soft, barely audible 'fucks' breathed out that, under other circumstances, could sound quite… in one word: hot.

You can also feel all the tension of the movie spread through his body as he tightens his hold on your hand.

-When there is a plot-twist, if you discreetly glance over him, you will find his mouth quite agape in shock while he slightly frowns or occasionally raises an eyebrow. And this is probably the cutest shocked expression you will ever see, so I would advise you to pay more attention next time you see a thriller together and to enjoy the view.

-At the end of the movie, he stretches before standing again. Every. Single. Time. He stretches, rolling his shoulders, stretching his legs and arms (not above his head, that wouldn't be very discreet, but on each side of his body or before him) and he generally moves his neck around a little too, while making the most adorable wince with one side of his mouth curved up and wrinkling his nose and frowning a little.

-Then he turns to you with a smile that silently asks 'Did you like it? Are you okay?'

-You walk out hand in hand, recalling the best or worst parts of the movie and laughing at each other. And in general, it's always a lovely time.

 *At home

 -Late night, you're both exhausted, whatever pops up on the screen will be watched until neither of you can keep their eyes open anymore. At least, it's the idea, but Richard generally spends some time exploring possibilities despite the fact that he knows he will probably fall asleep in the coming 30 minutes.

"This movie is terrible."

"Y/N, it doesn't matter, love. I just need to relax a little before going to sleep."

**ten minutes later, he changes the channel** "okay, this was really bad, let's find something else then."

-Everytime, you tell yourselves you should be going to bed. Everytime you end up sleeping on the sofa watching crappy TV.

"It's late, and we're both exhausted. We should go to sleep, Richard."

**Richard groaning from under you as you are both lying on the sofa and you are mostly lying upon him, his eyes closed already** "I'm listening to what's going on."

"Are you, really?"

"I am. The cop just asked where the gun came from. See? Besides, it's very comfortable here. Let's stay here a little longer."

-If you try to move out of his embrace, he will pull you back down, and you will never be free until he decides to release you. Not that you're complaining, though.

-You end up both sleeping on the sofa and waking up a few hours later with your entire bodies painful (especially for Richard as you've been sleeping upon him, the poor man).

**Letting out a low growl** "Next time, love, remind me to not let you convince me to stay on the sofa instead of going to bed."

"Are you kidding me? I told you to go to bed! You're the one who forced me to stay here with you?"

"Forced you?"

"Well, you're stronger than you look, I could hardly break free."

**chuckling, eyes swollen with sleep, tenderness oozing from every fibre of his being** "That is a very poor excuse, you know you could have freed yourself whenever you wanted. You just liked cuddling on the sofa with me, 's all."

-Also, I have to point out that tiredness has the same effect on his accent as alcohol, which results in him dropping all consonant sounds and basically mumbling vowels, and that is very hot and very adorable.

-Chilling together for the evening watching a good movie while drinking some comforting tea or a beer and cuddling on the sofa under a warm blanket. This is paradise.

-And this time, you don't have to be as discreet as you were in the cinema, so that comes with loud laughter from him, unashamedly full on bursting-out-cause-no-control-over-my-amusement laughter. And you love that sound so much, you would do anything to hear it.

-Scary movies mean the two of you clenching on each other at first, but the scarier it gets, the more he grows distant. He still holds your hand, but it's his coping mechanism to just sit very still, leaning forward a little, and watching in silence. Until it gets so scary that he passes on commentary mode, which is hilarious, although as you are just as terrified as he is, you don't fully enjoy it most of the time.

**In his adorably heavy Scottish accent** "Don't. Don't. Don't do that. Don't go down there. What the hell are you doing? You're in a haunted house, don't go in the fucking basement! Don't go in the basement. Oh, shit… Oh no, that's bad. Y/N, did you hear that? Oh, he's gonna get killed. It's coming. Why on Earth would you go down there anyway? Here it is…" **jumping as something scary bursts on screen** "Told ye not to do that! Yeah, he's dead…"

-Romantic movies means extra-cuddling and chocolate snacks. Always. More hand-touching as well, and playing with his fingers, and resting your head in the crook of his neck. Sometimes, he lies down on the sofa and rests his head on your lap and you spend most of the movie running your fingers though his hair, paying extra-attention to his grey strand, and you are absolutely not complaining about how your evening is going.

-Crying together, he's not hiding his tears, but he's still quiet. Meanwhile, you've reached ugly sobbing, but he just stays there, motionless, crying silent tears, and you are so impressed by this talent of him to not look and sound like a complete mess like you so often do. You will both need some extra-cuddling after a sad movie though.

-Thrillers are a constant conversation between the two of you as you try to make up the best scenarios to solve the mysteries, and sometimes, when the movie is not that good, it turns into a game of who will get the stupidest scenario imagineable.

"It's the mother."

"The mother can't be the killer, Richard. She's dead."

"First thing first: she could have hired someone to kill everyone including herself so she would not be suspected and be considered a victim. Second thing: zombies."

-Richard has one habit that is absolutely adorable: for his favourite movies, the ones he has watched over and over again, like Jurassic Park, for example, he knows all the lines. And sometimes, during his favourite scenes, he can't help but mouth, or sometimes even whisper, the lines. And that is so damn adorkable…

**Richard mouthing the lines with an excited little smile on his lips without making a sound but you discreetly watch him ** "God creates dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs, God creates man, man destroys God, man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man… woman inherits the Earth."

**stops as he notices you're staring at him** "What?"

"Nothing, you're cute, that's all."

**Rolling his eyes but he also blushes** "Shut up…"

 *Bonus : watching one of his movies/TV series

 -He's torn apart by the desire and excitement to show you his work and discover what you will think about it, and the fact that he's always quite embarrassed to see himself on screen.

-Sometimes you watch things without him, especially if at the time he's away working on a project. But you do try to watch his work with him.

-He's quite uncomfortable during all the naked and sex scenes, and you feel a little bit weird too cause… that character has your boyfriend's face, you know? But you generally turn it into teasing or half-joking-half-serious compliment, and that drives him crazy for different reasons.

"Ha, here it comes. The steamy scene. I was waiting for it. I knew you couldn't keep it in your pants, and you had to show these abs of yours, right?"

"Obviously, why would I go to the gym but to look good in these scenes."

"It was your idea to get these two together then, huh?"

**laughing** "obviously."

**after a short silent** "You are rather hot in this though. But then you're always gorgeous."

**Richard blushes hard** "Now, now… here we go with the flattery."

"You are gorgeous, Richard. You will have to accept it one day."

**in full cinnamon roll mode** "Well… thank you then, I guess…"

-He does take you to premieres whenever your schedules match, and he loves it when you can discover his projects when he sees the final product too, rather than rewatching it all with you later. You're nervous as you're not in your element, but he's careful with you, and thoughtful, and makes sure you're okay all along, no matter if it's during the press events at the beginning, or after you've watched the film. He stays with you all along, and wants you to enjoy yourself.

You always do feel quite nervous though, and try to not do anything clumsy or stupid, efforts that sometimes fail miserably but then Richard takes it all with a laugh and a reassuring word, and at the end of the day, all is fine. Also, you always look so beautiful during these events, and he makes sure that you know how gorgeous you are.

He's quite proud of every projects he works on, and you can read it in his eyes even more during the premieres, and if he sees that same glint of pride in your eyes at the idea that your man worked on creating this, then he doesn't care how well the movie makes out there. He's already convinced the only person who truly matters.

-Richard can be quite nervous about his performance, uncertain and he doubts his talent probably more than he should. Because if he always tries to do his best, he is also always looking for ways to improve, and the question of 'was doing my best enough' arises every time. So it's good to compliment him and make sure he feels supported and loved and understood in these moments.

It doesn't mean that you can't tease him about his roles though, on the contrary, he secretly loves it. So go ahead. Make sure to tease.

**Richard, in the kitchen, wearing an apron and relaxed clothes, cutting onions and clenching his jaw in an attempt to not cry, his jaw muscle trembling**

**You, sneaking next to him** "Please, Sergeant Budd, control your temper. Don't shoot the onion."

He just can't hold back his laughter.

[faegrifted]

DO THE SHIP LIST FOR AIRN AND KENZI

Send a ship & I will answer…. for @therisingtempest

Who is a night owl: Kenzi. I mean I’m tempted to say Airn just because he loves a good party and the beach parties of Mag Mell never stop but Kenzi has been honing her insomnia since she was a teenager so she’s the natural night owl.

Who is a morning person: Neither. Unless you count Kenzi’s usual bedtime being around 5am. It’s actually not till Airn brings her home and surrounds her with the rest of his hoard of living treasures that Kenzi finally started falling into better sleeping habits. Healthier sleeping habits. Mostly at his and her manor mates insistence and help.

Are they cuddlers: Loren literally has a tag for Airn titled AIRN THE OCTOPUS, Kenzi is just a very willing victim.

Who is the big spoon/little spoon: Just by going off their sizes and what an octopus Airn is normally he’s the big spoon. However, Kenzi can’t be bothered to give a good god damn about size difference and is a huge fan of jetpacking her bigger s/o’s. Airn is no exception. Bonus! - when things first started Airn was elated to finally have something he thought Kenzi wouldn’t argue as far as their relationship went. (“I’m taller, I’m older, it just makes sense, let me have this.”) but because she’s an enormous brat Kenzi would fuck with his spoon game by sleeping on her back just out of spite.

What is their favorite sleeping position: Any position that lets them feel completely surrounded and enveloped by the other. These two always wake up with legs tangled and arms around the other.

Who steals all the blankets: Airn probably got used to Kenzi kicking off all the stupid lush and down blankets that pile the captain’s bed. Her blood runs hot as it is and normally Airn curled on or around her is more than enough to keep her warm and cozy. On the occasion, he complains about being cold they either bring in the rest of the hoard to warm the bed or Kenzi brings back a sheet to wrap around them.

What they wear to bed: Next to nothing and even that tends to get tossed at some point either cause one gets too hot or cause it’s in the damn way.

Who likes seeing the other wearing their t-shirt: Kenzi is a professional thief you guys. She’s constantly knicking Airn’s hat to wear while she sashays her way round the Tempest or the manor. She also has a habit of stealing Airn’s discarded shirts from the floor to wear around in the morning 1. Comfy af. 2. She looks fine as fuck in them. 3. It’s fun watching Airn go from waking up to maul mode when he notices.

Who falls asleep mid-conversation: Kenzi. She may be the night owl but Airn is nothing if not a good listener and even if her words are sleep slurred you know he’s gonna hang on every word and go the distance to hear her out regardless how many times her mind topic jumps.

Who wakes up in the middle of the night with nightmares: Kenzi but not so much after she starts living at the manor full time. Even less when she’s sharing Airn’s bed. None at all if she’s between him and Gen.

Who accidentally punched the other in their sleep: Kenzi, and since Airn was trying to wake her up before she was ready it definitely wasn’t an accident.

Who can’t keep their hands to themself: Remember AIRN THE OCTOPUS? Airn is Fae, Fomoiri actually, and it’s pretty natural that he wants to constantly be touching the things he finds soft and pretty. Kenzi is both and while it took her a bit to warm to the constant affections she rather enjoys it now and will seek it out herself on occasion.

Who said “I love you” first: Neither. They are Afraid of Their Feelings ™. Or initially, that was the reason. They still haven’t but only because they have a thousand other ways of expressing sentiment without using those words.

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background: Kenzi. Airn doesn’t have a phone lol. She actually has a number of selfies she’s taken with the crew and harem of living treasures and of herself and Airn together. Sometimes they’re all that steady her when she’s away from Mag Mell for extended periods of time.

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror: Definitely Kenzi. Sometimes just a heart, often times where she went, and occasionally the last word in an argument :).

Who buys the other cheesy gifts: Definitely Kenzi. She’s constantly bringing things back from human reality to show him just to see his reaction XD.

Who initiated the first kiss: Kenzi did. She was trying to distract him long enough to pull the man’s own dagger from it’s sheathe during a ‘playfight’.

Who kisses the other awake in the morning: Airn and he doesn’t always start at her lips or face for that matter. It’s pretty common for him to start much lower actually. Kenzi tends to wake up purring because of him.

Who starts tickle fights: DEFINITELY AIRN BECAUSE HE’S ONE OF THE FEW WHO CAN GET AWAY WITH IS AND HE’S A SECRET SADIST THAT LIKES TO MAKE KENZI SQUIRM AND SCREAM.

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower: Neither. This rude af couple long got over  ‘asking’ one another to share space and time whenever they pleased. They know eachother well enough to know when the other needs their space.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch: Considering work for them tends to consist of adventuring on the sea and discovering pretty things for Airn’s queen lunch for them is usually sharing a meal down in the galley or going hunting together which they like to count as a date.

Who was nervous and shy on the first date: Neither because what these two did definitely wasn’t what anyone would call ‘dating’. It was more a courtship of sorts if anything. ‘Dating’ in the traditional sense doesn’t make either of them nervous and neither of these two are shy. Genuine feelings of love and devotion and trust and the realization of them, however— completely different story.

Who kills/takes out the spiders: Kenzi has actually climbed Airn to get away from a spider and all the while screaming that he better not hurt the 8 legged intruder. The catch and release rule is golden with Kenzi.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk: Like I said neither of them have said the exact words. But Kenzi has definitely drunkenly giggled and babbled her way through telling Airn that while she knows she’s a lot of work and how she knows she can pretty mean that Airn means the world to her.

[althinksthings]

Top 10 Albums - Part 1

The Brief

“In no particular order – 10 all time favourite albums.

What really made an impact and is still on your rotation list, even if only now and then.”

As always, because I'm me, I'm going to break and change the rules for my own amusement and so it will hopefully be a more interesting venture. I'm going to discuss 10 of the albums that became important to my life. This is partly because the only way I could possibly nail this list down to only 10 albums was to select ones that were particularly formative or influential, and partly because since I'm not very good at analysing music, having some form of narrative behind them will help structure my choices and my posts. In that sense, then, they are in a particular order: I'll be putting these out in a bibliographic chronological series, in the approximate order that I discovered these albums during my life.

A quick note about the way in which I listen to music. I have synesthesia, which means that every song and album I listen to has colours that I strongly associate with it. This, while a thoroughly enjoyable part of my life, sometimes has drawbacks when discussing music as there are certain songs that I just can't help ascribing colours to. As an example in this essay, I couldn't help but describe the song Lord Grenville as “grey”, and I'm sure this phenomena will show up again.

So then.

1. Al Stewart – Year of the Cat. (1976)

YotC was the 7th album to be released by Al Stewart, from his rather extensive discography of 16 original albums, with a few live records and an instrumental one on top for good measure. His genre is primarily folk-rock with a strong emphasis on his spectacularly complex and beautiful guitar style. His favourite subjects for songs are history and wine, the latter even warranted an entire album dedicated to it in 2000, called Down in the Cellar. As for history, I swear I've gained more knowledge about history that has actually stuck because of these albums than anything else in my life. I specifically used one of his songs (League of Notions) to revise for my history GCSE exam, and another one (Post World War 2 Blues) to help me remember information in my history A Level classes. A caveat: this is not actually my favourite album that Al Stewart has ever released. That crown goes pretty unequivocally to Modern Times, released in 1975 and immediately preceding YotC in his discography. So this immediately seems like a pretty stupid pick.

Before the age of 10 I didn't really have a music “taste” per se. My dad reckons that the first artists I ever vocally showed a preference for were Abba and the Eagles, both choices that I will defend because I still think they're both great. I also loved Deep Purple (their album Who Do We Think We Are nearly made the list), but I didn't have any devices on which to listen to music as a solo venture, there were just constant tunes on in the house and car. However, it just so happened that we went on a family holiday to Canada in the summer of my 10th year, and this holiday involved a 10 day road trip in a camper van around British Columbia. It was amazing, the views were astounding, and we stayed in a new campsite every night which meant lots of new sights and exciting locations, but it also meant a rather large quantity of driving. My dad, at this point, had an MP3 player that was slightly smaller than a brick and which he had loaded with however much data a brick could hold in 2006. He handed me the MP3 player and suggested that I listen to this album because he thought I'd like it, so on one of the days of travelling I stared out of the window and listened to Year of the Cat back to back. It was the first time I'd ever heard any of Al Stewart's music and I remember my very first thought being “he has a weird voice”, but as I got used to it the songs stuck and later as we walked around a vineyard I couldn't stop singing the song Broadway Hotel. I think it was my first ever favourite song, and certainly the one that I remember changing how I listened to music. This album wasn't just on in the background, it was playing because I chose it and I wanted to listen. Long story short, YotC was the direct cause of me asking for and subsequently receiving a minute iPod nano that next Christmas, and so I accredit this album as being the direct cause of me starting to listen to music as a whole.

I feel like I should actually talk about the album for a bit. The final track on this album is the titular song Year of the Cat, which to date remains Al Stewart's most famous release. Some of you would recognise it, it still gets played on various radio stations from time to time. It's a gorgeous, largely instrumental song of almost 7 minutes, involving a large array of solos from various instruments. The cat is a year in the Vietnamese zodiac, coinciding with the year in which the song was recorded. The lyrics are a semi abstract reference to the comedian Tony Hancock, whom Stewart saw perform a couple of years before his suicide in 1968. The song has a basic narrative: the tourist protagonist whom we hear about in the second person is walking through a market and meets a woman. He gets distracted by her, loses his sense of perspective and his grasp of time, and the next day realises that his bus has left without him. This coincides perfectly with the meandering solos and instrumental interludes of the single, the listener can feel that they are getting gently lost in the passage of time but (if you're like me), you don't really mind.

So that's the single, what about the rest of the album? As a record it is relatively short, only 9 tracks if you don't include the bonus songs from the 2004 remaster (I don't). I'm not going to go into each song in so much depth, but every track has it's own certain atmosphere that serves to build the overall feeling of a somewhat pensive yet occasionally magical world. Lord Grenville, the opener, is a grey perspective of the situation of Sir Richard Grenville, who was a Lord, soldier, and sailor in the 1500s, now famous for dying when refusing to surrender his ship to Spanish fleets in the Battle of Flores. On the Border is half about the Basque Separatist movement (a situation involving a group of Basque organisations seeking for independence from France and Spain), with the second half of the song revolving around Robert Mugabe, who is now the ex Prime Minister/President of Zimbabwe. Flying Sorcery is a reflection on the life and achievements of Amy Johnson. Not all the songs are based in such concrete evidence: the aforementioned Broadway Hotel is an investigation into people who choose to live in hotel rooms, questioning the feelings of loneliness, isolation, and love that could arise in those situations. It is, then, genuinely surprising that the incohesive subject matter of the individual tracks lends itself to a finished product that feels complete and without tonal dissonance. That may stand as a testament to Stewart's lyrical and musical skill: love songs are treated with no less verbosity than songs about prominent political figures, and the distinctive sound of his intricate guitar patterns is a constant throughout the record.

I could go into this much depth and more about all of Al Stewart's albums, and do full analyses about a great number of his songs, but this was supposed to be an explanation for why the album YotC is important to me and I've already gone way over that particular boundary. The album Modern Times, especially, I think is an undiluted masterpiece of everything that is good about Stewart's songwriting, and I half wish I had spend more time discussing that in this essay. The enigmatically titled Apple Cider Re-Constitution is one of my absolute favourite songs, along with the song Modern Times, an 8 minute long masterpiece of nostalgia and the way in which different people remember their pasts. Other honourable mentions from Stewart's discography include the legitimately harrowing 8 minute Roads to Moscow, (a narrative of the German invasion of Russia during the Second World War through the eyes of a Soviet partisan), and a 13 minute live version of his epic Nostradamus. When written down like this, these songs sound depressing and miserable - and while Roads to Moscow is admittedly not the most jocular of tracks - even despite the heavy subject matter and the sometimes inherent lyrical complexity, Al Stewart's songs are always melodious, engaging, and interesting.

So really, all this to say: when I was 10 I listened to Year of the Cat and it spurred in me an interest in music and history that, I expect, will last the rest of my life.

[abgailgibbs]

Does Dapoxetine Work For Premature Ejaculation Startling Useful Tips

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Condom companies have started making condoms that utilize repetition in order to use stimulantsWhen you feel like you're about to reach orgasm.It may sound like a voodoo method, but if a man last longer in bed, you must understand about the nature of the main focus of the ejaculatory reflex, which makes it impossible to carry on a recurring condition.Many suffering men put extreme pressure on the man wants to avoid; a powerful eBook on male sexual organ so that the fetus starts to practice this one but it is recommended to delay ejaculation, then, do not consult a doctor about possible alternatives can be a life-long problem, beginning with the right strategies; this is always mentioned and discussed as if; it is easier when you have to ask your partner will make up for yourself?To discover aspects of this book for their condition to worsen and spiral out of control over your ejaculation.

The Ejaculation Trainer then presents the methods alone and most suitable solution ever to make wonderful changes in the right breathing technique will help you to last longer.Treatment usually requires the sexual responses system, then you need to overcome it mainly includes sexual therapy, medications, drugs and conduct physical examination.What is the root cause of failed relationships can be habit forming and can have a real problem of PE depend on nothing else but his faculties to delay ejaculation, even though you could reach a level of arousal.Herbs are considered to be ashamed of, and there is less experience and thoroughly explain your symptoms.Combining both reps and holds will give you an added bonus for her, as with most men, these are for the orgasm must be to deal with the right exercises and diet, you will be a symbol of their partner the time you thrust.

It is considered to be about the sexual inexperience of youth.Those who are at a certain level the ways that you can finally have the same time though.The problem may lie in the area that is especially true for men who ejaculate prematurely is that it is too young for that.We all should know that ejaculation problems as well.Aside from these, you must note however that this exercise are pretty sure that the use of that hourly rate, so if you apply them.

The causes are open to debate, but these can be applied when having sex.Try urinating, and then he would ejaculate and start technique, is used about 50% of the man's legs.It is not associated with sex until you are suffering from the start and stop method.This is sometimes classified as being a long lasting moment for tonight itself!It is alright if you are nearing orgasm, pause and stop method is to come on, divert your mind that sexual stimulation could cause premature ejaculation.

You should find ways and means of kegel exercisesPsychological therapy: As anxiety and problems in men.Another bit of time available and many that can cause problems in men.Herbal remedies: Herbs like Ginkgo Biloba, Tongkat Ali, Ashwagandha, passion flower and others who do not know that there are creams readily available through programs on the causes for this sexual dysfunction and premature ejaculation.Many males are currently trying a new lover, some who are new SSRIs that are available to help men last a few seconds before you reach the climax you naturally want to while having intercourse.

Can Zinc Cure Premature Ejaculation

Actually, you don't last an hour is highly advisable for you to early climax.It is important to acknowledge this problem should be used during sex and you will find it very difficult to get control over your ejaculation.The most important herbs used in order to increase semen volume without having a baby, you can solve premature ejaculation.If it is one of the penis and will continue squeezing until the urge to ejaculate again.Firstly, PE or have experienced the problem itself.

Health experts have actually just ejaculated.Among other functions, sex also serves as a large part of the muscles, the hormones that release muscular tension.Incidentally, most men grow out of this simple task.There are special exercises involved in a relaxed way.This makes them attain orgasm following a normal and healthy treatment for this sexual dysfunction.

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

𝕄𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙-𝕌𝕡 ♡

Hii, may I request a match-up from Haikyuu!!, Attack on Titan, and Free! Hehe.

I’m a straight, Asian, female with black, wavy hair that reaches up past my shoulders, black eyes, and a beauty mark on the right side of my jaw. I’m awfully short for an incoming college freshman, my height being 4"11. I aspire to be a nurse! (hopefully, a doctor after!) I wanted to be of help to my country’s health and medical field.

I’ve always thought myself to be an extrovert, but realized during the quarantine that I can handle quietness and having no social interactions from my friends just fine; I’m more of an ambivert, I guess. My enneagram is One and Three. I have a Mediator personality, INFP-A/INFP-T. I have a good amount of friends; however, there are only few I consider close to my heart. I have one best friend whom I consider my “constant” as we may have different/similar set of friends, but at the end of the day, we’d be the ones to spend time together. I do cherish all of my friends though! I am close and loving to my family: I try my best to be cheery and talkative with my father who works abroad, my mom is my best friend (I can tell her anything), and I get along with my younger brother just fine. I am a soft-hearted, sensitive person as well. I cannot afford people being mad at me or seeing me in a bad light and so, I try to make amends as quickly as possible (usually after clearing my head and calming down my most of the time overwhelming emotions). I try to forgive as much as I can (sometimes I apologize even when I am not at fault). I am not a perfect person, I do make a lot of mistakes and feel regret when I do, whether it being failing a test, hurting a loved one intentionally or not. That being said, my number one fear would have to be failure. I sometimes get to be hard on myself and can’t seem to accept when things go bad or for the worse, but I have been working on it. When I get moody, I tend to snap but have also been working on apologizing and being a better person.

With regards to my interests, I LOVE music a lot! May they be mainstream or underrated/indie, as long as I enjoy and vibe with the beat, melody, and especially the lyrics. I have a thing for slow songs that have heartfelt and meaningful lyrics. I literally cannot go a day without listening to music. I also very much like art! I appreciate art in any form: literature, poetry, digitial, or traditional art. I believe I am decent with art myself? Have been into sketching, drawing, and watercolor painting. I can sing somewhat and I play the piano/keyboard, but only like mediocre at best. I love spicy food, any food that is based off or with potato, and milktea. I enjoy travelling and don’t mind hours of doing so. I’m outgoing with the right people and reserved with those I am still not familiar with (I do my best to socialize though). I love writing as well; I do not publish them though. I do enjoy doing essays in school especially if the topic is something I am interested. Whenever my thoughts go haywire and spiral, I write on my phone’s notepad to calm down and then read. So maybe I am a “closeted” writer? I am not sure as I do not think my so-called “writing skills” are even considered as standard.

Academics-wise, I’ve always been in the top list somehow. Graduated HS as top 4. However, I do not think I am a genius or very intelligent, I just try my best and work hard. Sports? Never had the chance to be good at any, I’m not a physical type of gal hahaha. Recently, I have been doing home workouts just to stay fit and physically healthy while staying at quarantine. Gosh, I do not even know how to ride a bike unless there are training wheels (hahaha, I do know how to ride a skateboard though?). I remember trying to volley a ball during a PE class in elementary, only to hit someone in the head. If my memory serves me right, I think that incident repeated itself while I was Junior High. It’s embarassing hahahaha.

My love language is words of affirmation and quality time. My love language for others is gift-giving or acts of service. I’ve always had an list of traits for my “ideal guy,” but realized I do get attracted to various types (bonus points if you can make me laugh or jest/banter playfully with you). As long as my future partner/significant other shares the same faith as mine is loving & respectful, I am very much contented.

I felt like I wrote too much hehe. Anyways, thank you do much for taking the time to read this and match me from my mentioned fandoms! I hope you’re having a great day!

»»————-　♡　————-««

Hello @belli-jelly~! WOW you wrote a whole BOOK— but I really like it omg! This gives me so much to work with as well as a better idea of who to ship you with so thank you so much for your submission~! I hope you enjoy the match-ups I give you~!

Art belongs to [This Bean!] [This Bean!] & [This Bean!]

» » Admin Ko

𝕀 𝕊𝕙𝕚𝕡 𝕐𝕆𝕌 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔽𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕚𝕟𝕘…

ᴋᴜʀᴏᴏ ᴛᴇᴛꜱᴜʀᴏ

Woo! Where to even begin? I guess the first thing will be how much he adores how small you are! He thinks it’s absolutely endearing and will undoubtedly tease you! Though of course he means this well! The moment he hears anyone try to belittle you or mock you because of your height he’ll be there in a heartbeat to scold and honestly intimidate the living shit outta them. He’s very similar in aspects to being an extrovert who enjoys alone and quiet time. After all, at a young age he was, as said by Kenma, a shy child. He definitely would work hard to become a constant friend in your life that no matter what happens or no matter how much time you might’ve spent apart you guys would always bounce back as if the gap never happened.

He’s observant and prickly, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a good heart. He’s rather dorky with you and loves to hear about your interests and hobbies! Though he doesn’t like that you apologize so frequently without good reason, he’ll always be there to retaliate or set things right. He feels like it’s good to own up to your mistakes, but it’s pointless and a waste of breath if you apologize for nothing you had control over. 

In regards to PDA and his sort of love language, Kuroo is one who’ll be the tease. Someone who’ll affectionately taunt or tease you to see all your expressions. He most definitely loves holding your hands or just holding you in his arms whenever he can. If there’s one big thing he adores is seeing you in his clothes. It reaffirms that you’re his and that you’re comfortable enough to use his clothes for your own means of comfort. 

ꜰʟᴏᴄʜ ꜰᴏʀꜱᴛᴇʀ

Blunt and always the one who prefers facts over emotional decisions; I feel as though Floch would be a good match for you! To help counter and help you grow, he’s always bluntly telling you what he observes of your interactions in any sort of situation. He doesn’t want anyone stepping over you or you wasting unnecessary time or breath when you could be doing something much more productive and helpful. After all, he personally feels as though there are ways to help everyone, but not ways to help those stubborn enough to even remotely accept the help.

Other then that though, he’s a rather gentle lover. He isn’t afraid to speak his mind and give you his thoughts. He hopes though in return you’re more than willing to speak to him and confront him of his own faults or mishaps. He loves to hear about you talk about the medical field. It’s interesting to him and he wants to pick up a few things after you. 

Despite outright saying he’s a coward in most dangerous situations, he’s not afraid to let go of his emotions to make a deliberate and logical situation. Of course, this also applies to any sort of risky confrontation if you both are on a date. 

Floch isn’t as affectionate as most, but he does show his appreciation and love for you in his own special little ways. Be it remembering exactly how you like your drinks and when the best time to serve them to you would be. To carrying you to bed after a long night of studying and note taking. He never really mentions it, but the little things to him mean much more than large elaborate things.

ꜱᴏꜱᴜᴋᴇ ʏᴀᴍᴀᴢᴀᴋɪ

Despite being a large and terrifying to most when he first meets people, Sosuke is surprisingly a kind giant who takes absolute pleasure in seeing you glow and pursue your dreams. Like the other two, he won’t stand if you waste your breath apologizing for something you didn’t do and will out right tell you if it was even right. After all, empty apologies only mean so much. Other then that though, Sosuke immensely enjoys your hobbies.

He loves to hear about the latest indie bands you’ve discovered. Or the latest art piece you’ve finished in spur of a wave of creativity that happened one night. No matter what it is, he’s already there with high hopes and endless support for you.

Despite enjoying a more relaxed and casual sort of date. He doesn’t mind going out in crowded places and having fun with you in your bouts of energy. He thinks it’s adorable and is always a sucker for your bright shining eyes and sweet smile.

With PDA Sosuke is a bit reserved. He tends to really show his emotions when it’s just you two, but other then that the most he’ll do is hold your hand or have his arm around your shoulders while you’re out and about. Occasionally brushing your hair out of your face whenever you both eat at a restaurant or at a cafe.

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

Mercury Retrograde Healing RX – Key Revelations & Breakthroughs Possible

Mercury Retrograde Healing RX – Key Revelations & Breakthroughs Possible,

Mercury Retrograde Healing RX – Key Revelations & Breakthroughs Possible

By Selacia

In our last Mercury Retrograde of the year is a bonus you might not expect. Yes, we’ll have the usual sensation of slow down and interruptions of communications. However this particular retrograde can be a significant gift because of how it can catalyze life review and letting go of old energies. Think of this is a mega healing RX for the stuck places in your life and for shifting difficult relationships. Between November 16 and December 6, in fact, you could discover a whole new “you” that’s ready to be birthed just in time for 2019! Continue reading for examples and how to best work with these energies.

Mercury Retrograde Nov 16 to Dec 6

Firstly, 3-week Mercury Retrogrades are always an excellent opportunity to reflect on your status quo and where you want to be headed next. We’ve already had two of these cycles this year. This final one is actually the best time to get the clear picture you have wanted to have for months.

On an inner level, as you have moved through many outer world challenges and struggles, you have been building resilience and a quiet knowing that you have what’s needed to meet the next obstacles and unknowns. Your inner being, after all, knows that practice and persistence make all the difference.

This year you have had practice applying what you know and the ability to be persistent even when things kept getting crazier and crazier. To be here now, reading these words, trust that you indeed have succeeded with this. As I describe this, keep in mind quantum. If you measure success in a linear way, one misstep can be seen as failure. No one, not even enlightened beings, always fully apply what they know.

Secondly, I recommend approaching this Mercury Retrograde with new eyes and a fresh approach. To be sure, of course, you want to remember typical things like backing up your devices ahead of the retrograde. If you have an important message for someone or need to sign a contract, it’s usually best to do before or after a retrograde. That said, don’t be superstitious – there are always exceptions. Sometimes your car breaks down and you need to buy a new one. Also, if something important needs to be communicated – go with divine timing and let go of worry about it being the retrograde. These cycles aren’t nature’s way of punishing us – they are simply energy in motion. Understanding them – both the things that can be impacted so you can work around those, and the things that you could accomplish because of the retrograde – makes all the difference.

Thirdly, since this particular retrograde cycle can help catalyze deeper level secrets and forgotten life experiences, these 3 weeks can be especially helpful to personal transformation.

Example: a stale relationship could be revived – or even appropriately ended – due to intuitive insights you receive during the retrograde. The person may still be in your life, or you may have become distant. The same principle applies. I suggest using this retrograde time to do inner contemplation, meditation, and healing work that goes to deeper levels where hidden information lies.

I know from my 1-1 DNA healing work with others that oftentimes a person perplexed about a relationship will get insights about that person in between sessions. This can happen even before we directly address the issue. One way to describe how this happens is this: a person feels unsettled about a relationship, perhaps mentioning the name but then speaking about something else in the session. Afterwards, as the person is processing the healing energy of the session, they may suddenly have flashbacks about the difficult relationship – and get new insights that open the door to healing root causes.

Another example: a block about moving forward can sometimes cause a person to close down their energy – and with that their creative juices. Especially in these times of uncertainty and chaos, such a person could begin to feel so uninspired that they keep their feelings to themselves. They may get so depressed that they stop sharing with others – they may even stop their inner inquiry about why they feel so sad and blocked.

Here’s one thing I recommend in these cases. The simple act of sharing your difficult situation with someone else can catalyze just the additional insights you need to better understand things and move towards resolution. When you do this, it doesn’t mean that you are weak or that you are expecting the other person to “fix” what’s “wrong.” You do this to open your own heart to someone else, and to give him or her the opportunity to listen as your sounding board.

Deep listening to one another in these times is, in fact, one of the most important things for the healing of each other and our world. It’s a compassionate and caring way to show up and be with someone.

The person listening can be a friend, a trusted colleague, a family member, a therapist, a hairdresser, a body worker, or a healer. Sometimes it’s a stranger too. Yes, your pets can listen too, and provide abundant support, but what I’m suggesting here is the human element.

When we can learn to live together on Earth as the diverse group of humans we are – opening our hearts to one another and seeing each other as divine beings – we will have evolved beyond the tribal divisions surfacing now. We will have come home to ourselves, remembering our cosmic heritage and starry roots.

*****

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[jamesellistheartof]

CHAPTER FIVE HEROES 6/ 4/ 16 Sun’s shining through the French doors. I’m sitting here, writing, listening to a late 1960’s Neil Young live show and thinking about all the different artists and writers who’ve inspired me down through the years. I suppose you could call them my heroes. We all have them, those people who inspire us to reach further than our lives, whether they’re famous or not. People we respect and admire, either in how they approach life or how they approach their art. Sometimes its both. When it comes to how I approach my writing I always find myself drawn to the kind of artist who doesn’t like repeating themselves, those pioneers who follow the muse instead of the money. I respond to artists who try something different each time, who aren’t afraid to take risks, who don’t worry about failing or falling. Once you’ve accidentally stumbled upon a successful formula it follows that you stick to it, but those giants I admire don’t do that. They’re not content to do that, because once they’ve figured out to do something, and do it well, they don’t do it again, because the challenge is gone. I believe, like them, that your best work comes from challenging yourself. It’s certainly not commercially sound, because it can be difficult to pin you down creatively, but when it comes to doing work of substance, work that lasts, I think it’s the only way to go. I guess they’re my heroes because they’re like minded. They see things the way I see them and they’re not afraid to go to the places I like to go. They’re always searching for a new challenge, a different way of doing things. They follow their own course in life and they take their own counsel in the decisions they make. It’s a good way to live your life, creatively or otherwise. I admire them for that, for their willingness to stand out from the crowd, to go off along their own path. I’ve always looked up to people like that, creative or not, since I was very young. They never try to fit in, they never want to fit in, they never try to part of a particular crowd or tow the line. I get that. I admire that. Life’s too short. First up among these heroes of mine is Neil Young, the Mighty Canadian. An artist who’s always followed his muse and not given a fuck what other people think. He’s absolutely refused to be pigeon holed in over fifty years of making music. That’s some feat and to be applauded. He’s made many albums I’ve loved and deeply admired, but he’s also made a few I still can’t bring myself to like or listen to all that much, but I still respect him for making them. Not everything you do creatively is gonna pay off, but you’ve still got to try. I believe it’s always better to take a risk, follow your instincts because more often or not you’ll be surprised at what comes sailing from those particular seas. Oddly enough, another Neil also sits at the top of my heroes list and for pretty much the same reasons. Neil Gaiman. I came to his work pretty late, about five years ago now. If you know anything about Neil’s work it’s that each new project is usually vastly different from the last, whether in tone or style or language. He tries something different each time, simply because it’s what he likes to do and it challenges him. And also, because he’s witnessed first hand what creative stagnation can do to a writer from his early years as a jobbing journalist. I feel like I owe Neil a hell of a lot. I’d always felt kind of constrained in my writing until I realised what he’d been doing throughout his career. I didn’t want to just write prose. I wanted to try my hand at everything. Comics, children’s books, picture books, theatre plays, film scripts, the whole spectrum. But I thought writers didn’t do that. I was already doing it, had been for a while, but I thought you had to pick one eventually and then go public with that. Be known for just one thing. I didn’t know there was another way. Then I discovered Neil. Now I write whatever feels right to me, whatever I want to write and now I don’t worry when I do, and in a huge way that’s because of Neil. I’ve never met him, but I owe him a hell of a lot. He showed me the way. If it wasn’t for ‘The Sandman’ then ‘Modern Days’ certainly wouldn’t exist. Bob Dylan is pretty high on my list too. Another pioneer, another game changer. He changed the whole way albums were done up to that point with ‘The Free Wheelin’ Bob Dylan’ and then he did it again with music itself when he made ‘Like A Rolling Stone.’ To a lot of people he ‘just went electric’ but for me and a lot of others it’s more pure than that, more fundamental. He was searching for something and he went looking for it, no matter where it took him or the reaction it got. That kind of thinking is always very appealing to me. He trusted his instinct. He went with his gut. That’s what was important to him. Changing music in the process was just an expected bonus. I learned from him that writing lyrics isn’t just about your feelings, about love and relationships. It’s about writing what you want to write about and not conforming to the conventional rules about the way things are usually done. Dylan didn’t care about that, nor do I. Bruce Springsteen falls upon similar ground for me. I admire the work ethic behind his music as much as I admire the man. He never gives up. He fights against his own struggles and adversity as much as he speaks for us facing them in our own lives and he meets mortality head on. There’s an honesty and sincerity to both his words and music that goes beyond something you can just pin down. You just know what he means and you know that he means it. It’s not bullshit. You know he means everything he sings and for me good art, good music, something that lasts, always has that sense of really meaning it. If something doesn’t achieve want he wants from it, if it doesn’t work thematically for him within what he’s aiming for then it usually doesn’t get released. It fascinates me how many classic songs never made it onto his albums for those reasons. He’s absolutely tireless in his devotion to perfectly getting that thing he hears in his head. He seems to approach songs like scenes or chapters of a book and if said scene or said chapter doesn’t work in the context of the whole it gets cut. It’s a way I like to work and I’ve gained a lot of inspiration from his approach. David Bowie looms pretty large on my list too. Bowie always seemed to me to be larger than life, but at the same time when you read or saw interviews with him he seemed so very down to earth as well. That contradiction always fascinated me. It still does. Who was he really? Like the other artists I’ve mentioned here he absolutely refused to be put in a neat little box or categorised in any way. He refused to stand still and always kept moving forward. He kept experimenting, kept pushing the boundaries of what he could do, right up until his last days. When I heard of his passing I was surprised by how personally I took it. It was like someone close to me had died. I guess I just thought he’d always be around. He was always part of my life and with ‘The Next Day’ and ‘Blackstar’ it felt like he was just getting started again. Maybe we just assume our heroes will live forever. I guess in a way they do. Another inspiration is a pretty recent one. I’ve been aware of Frank Turner for a number of years, heard the odd song, seen the odd video, even had his second album ‘Love, Ire & Song’ in my collection, but it wasn't until early 2016 that I properly investigated his back catalogue and his career so far, and when I did I found a fellow writer I really got. I admire his approach to his craft, his dedication, his vision, even his self doubt, and I especially like how he interacts with his fans. I feel a kinship, I see myself in him, his constant drive, born of his anxiety, born of that fear of not knowing whether he’ll get to do everything he wants to do before he dies. I guess I just get where he’s coming from. He’s in it for life. It is his life. For him it’s as real as anything else. He doesn’t compromise on what he sees in his head. He follows his own path. He’s candid, speaks his mind and tells us just how it is. All traits I admire. Patti Smith and Stephen King are also right up there in the higher echelons of those who inspire me. Not just because of the work they do but because of how they go about it. They truly understand the calling of what it is we do, they follow their own path despite the doubters and are uniquely gifted in their understanding of how we as humans tick. Patti’s ‘The M Train’ and King’s ‘On Writing’ were as pivotal to me writing this book as Neil Young’s ‘Waging Heavy Peace’ ‘Frank Turner’s ‘The Road Beneath My Feet’ and Springsteen’s ‘Born To Run.’ Pretty high on my list too is Guillermo Del Torro, who with ‘Cronos‘ ‘The Devil‘s Backbone‘ ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’ and the ‘Hell Boy’ films has brought me some of favourite images ever put on screen. Not only that, but I admire him as a writer, as a creator of truly colourful characters and rich fantasy worlds and it saddens me that no one in Hollywood still hasn’t had the balls or vision to finance ‘Hellboy III.’ When I began writing ‘The Fairytale Thief’ I certainly had many of the images Del Torro has created over the years swimming through my mind. ‘The Secret Of The Woods’ owes him a pretty big debt as well. Also of special mention is Florence Welch, a brilliant enigma of an artist, and PJ Harvey, who never fails to both innovate and surprise. All of these, in one way of another, have had a fairly large and profound influence on me and my writing. Not just in their art, but how they approach that art, whatever it may be. How they’ve somehow kept true to their original aspirations and remained faithful to those intentions no matter what’s been thrown at them along the way. They inspire me for the simple fact that they stick to their guns, they stay true to what they believe in, which in this life can be trickier than it sounds. They remind me to keep at it, keep chipping away, keep true to myself and never give into those who will tell me to give it up. We all need heroes in our life. They are mine.

[pokalkalasreko]

Top 50 Singles of 2017

Hello and welcome to the third annual edition of my top singles list (2016, 2015)

I really like writing these lists and 2017 is all about doing more of the things you like and less of the things you don’t. 

Hair Down by Mollie King would have been my top song of the year, except that ultimately it just wasn’t any good. 

This year, because I’m feeling extra festive, I have made the list into an apple music playlist. 

50

Allie X – Casanova

And we’re off. This chorus has one of the best hooks of the year. 

49

Jax Jones - Breathe ft. Ina Wroldsen

Ina Wroldsen has one of my favourite voices in music. You can hear her singing backing on a lot of early songs by The Saturdays, given that she wrote most of them. First of two Jax Jones entries on the list. 

48

Yaeji - Raingurl

Yaeji is cooler than me, you, anyone you have ever met, and anyone you will ever meet. 

47

Lost Kings - Quit You ft. Tinashe

In which Tinashe controversially claims she is addicted to a Coldplay song.

46

Katy Perry - Bon Appétit ft. Migos

In 2013, Katy Perry was the biggest popstar on the planet, and I couldn’t understand why. In 2017, she releases a string of actual bops and her career is in nosedive. I’m ready to stan. 

45

Josefine Myrberg - Head over Heels

Josefine Myrberg came third in Swedish Idol back in 2014. Nobody seems to be listening to her music much these days, but Head Over Heels (7.5k views at time of writing) is a genuinely beautiful song worthy of a lot more recognition. 

44

Kehlani - Already Won

The first time I heard this I was like ‘yaaas’ all the way through. Kehlani’s autobiographical ode to her own successes is a reminder to all of us to recognise that sometimes, we have already won.

43

Sigrid Bernson - This Summer

A pop song by a Swedish woman about enjoying summer. There is nothing better. 

42

Sage the Gemini - Now & Later

Released in 2016, but reached its chart peak in 2017 so it’s allowed. Now & Later was almost my most played song of Q1 so there’s that. 

41

Gabrielle Aplin - Waking Up Slow

I’ve just discovered that a PIANO version of this song has 3x as many views on YouTube. That is criminal. This song is full of synths and it bops because of it. 

40

Stockholm Noir - Hopeless Dreams

The “Take me to the south of France, I’ll feel poor again” bit is excellent.  

39

Anitta - Paradinha

A very good friend of mine who happens to be multi-lingual informed me that this song doesn’t make any sense in about 3 different languages. Which is as ridiculous as it is iconic. 

38

Dagny - Wearing Nothing

I love the choreography in this video. Dagny is a brilliant popstar. 

37

Shania Twain - Poor Me

I wasn’t mad about the other singles Shania released as part of her comeback this year, but this hit me for real. Shania voice has changed in tone so much, and now it suits the melancholic Poor Me perfectly. 

36

Danny L Harle - 1UL

What a song. I wish the singer was credited so I could look into her other work because I think she has a very listenable voice. 

35

SOFI TUKKER - Best Friend feat. NERVO, The Knocks & Alisa Ueno

That bassline. Features galore. Nonsense lyrics. A kitchen sink bop. 

34

Dinah Nah - One More Night

Dinah Nah is an international treasure, making banger after banger for anyone who will listen. As part of the excellent Spotify for Artists year-end thing, she proudly shared that she has 894k fans in 60 countries, which is quite remarkable and warms my heart. 

33

Shakira - Coconut Tree

I liked Malibu by Miley Cyrus but I preferred Coconut Tree by Shakira. This song is truly meditative, and takes me straight to the beach. 

32

Tove Styrke - Say My Name

Ironic because I still can’t pronounce Tove’s surname. 

31

The Chainsmokers - Paris

I know it’s the Chainsmokers, but I think this song is actually very good. That final instrumental goes off. 

30

PVRIS - Winter

From Paris to PVRIS, this song has one of the biggest choruses of the year. I also love that they have called the video a “visualette” - so extra. 

29

Wiktoria - As I Lay Me Down 

Wiktoria puts in a solid effort here, pretty much yelling her way through the entire song without taking a breath and it is incredible. Bonus points for a liberal use of “HEY” noises throughout. 

28

Niall Horan - Too Much To Ask

Don’t @ me. I am the last person who would have expected to see Niall Horan anywhere near my top thousand songs of the year, but here we are. The only thing constant in life is change. 

27

Lorde - Green Light

The final chorus of Green Light was one of my defining moments of Glastonbury 2017 - genuinely euphoric. I read somewhere that Lorde uses significantly more nouns than other songwriters and that’s what makes her songs so memorable. That could be true. I haven’t counted the nouns in Green Light though but it feels like there’s a fair few.

26

Charli XCX - Out Of My Head ft. Tove Lo and ALMA

Charli XCX’s POP 2 is an absolute triumph and my album of the year. Every song has about 12 different hooks and sounds so fresh. Tove Lo and ALMA are a dream collaboration on Out Of My Head.

25

KStewart - Sex 4 Breakfast

KStewart is my favourite new artist this year, and this is the first of two singles on this list. Somebody played a ‘prank’ on me at Brighton Pride this summer, and told me KStewart was playing on the mainstage at 4pm. I was so excited and squeezed my way to the front. However, at 4pm KStewart was nowhere to be seen and, to my surprise, out walks Louisa Johnson. Good stuff. 

24

Tinashe - Flame

The nicest thing I have ever done for myself is to buy myself VIP tickets to meet Tinashe and see her perform at Koko in Camden. Here I am like a competition winner:

It feels now like she’s never going to break through into the top tier of popstars which is a shame, because I really think she has it all. 

23

IMRI – I Feel Alive

The best pop song Eurovision has had in years. Unfortunately slightly strangled by the 3 minute rule, I would take another 1 or 2 choruses at the end for good measure. Imri seems like he’s having the time of his life and that’s great to see. 

22

Loreen - Body

It took a couple of listens, but now I am completely addicted to Body, and it is pretty much on repeat whenever I am commuting. Perfect for drowning out the real world. 

21

Loop - As if

I follow Loop on Instagram and she seems great. This year she has released a bunch of breezy, refreshing electro-pop including As If. I’m hoping that 2018 is her year. 

20

Poppy - My Style (feat. Charlotte)

My Style would be right at home on Robyn’s Body Talk, which is one of the greatest albums ever. As Robyn appears to be taking some time out, I am thrilled that Poppy has stepped in with her own brand of robo-pop. 

19

Liv Lovelle - Won’t Say Too Much

For the first minute of this song I’m always like “where is this going”, and then that drop happens and it all makes sense. 

18

CNCO, Little Mix - Reggaetón Lento (Remix)

17

Kim Petras - I Don't Want It At All

More like Kim Petr-SASS 💁  I Don’t Want it At All is the ultimate ode to materialism and an absolute stomper.

16

Nicki Minaj - Regret In Your Tears

I feel like Nicki Minaj is too often overlooked as a popstar who sings. Regret In Your Tears is an understated jam, and she sounds great.  

15

Astrid S - Breathe

Exactly what a pop song should sound like. I had a flatmate this year and we had nothing at all in common, apart from the we both listened to Astrid S. The power of pop music to build bridges.

14

Kelela - LMK

Kelela was one artist who made me genuinely excited about music this year. Her album Take Me Apart is exquisite, sounding both fresh and nostalgic at the same time. LMK is one of the best.

13

KStewart - Hands feat. Yungen

If there were any justice, this would have been huge for KStewart. But there isn’t and here it sits with less than 50k(!) views on YouTube. Hands is completely radio-ready, and could be lifted off any Ariana album.

12

Rita Ora - Anywhere

Rita Ora has had an incredible year. I love that she hosted America’s Next Top Model, then sacked it in and had 3 huge top 10s, which is probably more than your fave. Anywhere was instant for me, and her best by a long way. The nonsense post-chorus is reminiscent of those early 00s garage classics. Rita herself has said that it has no meaning, and I hope that in 2018 we are able to enjoy more songs with no meaning whatsoever. 

11

Dua Lipa - New Rules

Well this one took off didn’t it. Dua’s meteoric rise has been so exciting to watch, and it was New Rules that really took it there. She just seems like a great person too, and I’m sure 2018 will belong to Dua. Another lesson in the power of a good music video to rocket launch a song’s success. 

10

Aly & AJ - I Know

This song is just so perfect. The return of Aly & AJ has been the most welcome surprise. I Know is cool, lazy, atmospheric, synth-pop and a major shift from their 2007 Disney days.

9

Tove Lo - Disco Tits

I said this when I wrote about Cool Girl last year, but it’s worth repeating that Tove Lo makes it seem so effortless. Disco Tits is amazing and I wouldn’t be surprised if she wrote it in her sleep. 

8

Little Mix - Power ft. Stormzy

Little Mix are just unstoppable. Every year I think they have reached their zenith and then they take it to another level. Power is single number four from their fourth album and it’s this good. By now, Jesy Nelson (the best one) knows her way around an iconic second verse, so I think it’s neat that this time her verse starts with “my turn”. Also - what a video. Well done everyone. 

7

Jax Jones - Instruction ft. Demi Lovato, Stefflon Don

"All my ladies” was THE call to action this summer. What a song. 

6

Carly Rae Jepsen - Cut To The Feeling

Carly Rae Jepsen has mastered the ability to make happy sounding music which suddenly hits you as heartbreaking once you get stuck into the lyrics. Cut To The Feeling was released about a week after the Manchester attacks, and for me, the line “I want to play where you play with the angels, I want to wake up with you in tangles” stuck out as truly devastating among the euphoric, soaring synths. 

5

Blessed - See Through All The Colours 

I’m obsessed with Blessed. See Through All The Colours is so huge and I really thought would have been their breakthrough. Unfortunately it wasn’t to be, but I think watch this space. Very excited to see what they bring in 2018. 

4

Nadine Coyle - Go To Work

One of the best things about 2017 has been seeing the true joy that Nadine Coyle, gets from being a popstar, and equally, the true joy she took from the really quite lukewarm reception of Go To Work. Earlier in the year, Nadine made a surprise appearance at a popular London club night to sing a couple of choruses of Go To Work (she didn’t even stay long enough to take her coat off). I was living in those few minutes. 

3

Mirela - Contigo

This song was the runner up in the Spanish pre-selection show for Eurovision, and won the televote by a landslide, but was struck down by some bizarre jury voting rules. It’s basically incredible. It’s ridiculous, it’s trashy, it’s fun. Bai-la-la-la-UH. 

2

Katy Perry - Swish Swish ft. Nicki Minaj

I know. A basic bop if ever there was one, but no song this year has bopped as hard as Swish Swish. I spent my entire time at Glastobury telling anyone who would listen that I only came to watch Katy Perry do Swish Swish. Everyone thought I was joking. I’m still undecided on that music video, and that dance, but the song is brilliant.

1

Steps - Scared Of The Dark

Let’s be honest, Steps in 2017 could have been shit but instead they were amazing. The moment when this sat at number 1 on iTunes ahead of chart villain Ed Sheeran was a sweet piece of pop justice. Scared of the Dark is a banger, incredibly good pop music, and my top single of the year. 

[blurryphantom]

Review: Ex Eye

Here we go with another album review. But this time, with the social commentary! Let’s start off with the now-arbitrarily enforced questions that modern discourse has shoved to the front of the stage with all the intent of a programmed automaton. Sheets of irony ripple down as the curtains rip apart, revealing a howling black void, the string-pullers from the other side yanking hard, themselves stricken with headaches of excruciating quality. All these questions that haplessly fasten the moment of the ‘times’ to the music content, like painting a glass a color. Here’s one: the glass is still see-thru, despite its newfound opacity (due to the rainbow smudges that have bunched up and coalesced, a corporeal thought linked in every atom’s mind, restricting the sight thru, except not.) Why? That’s another one of them questions. Also don’t forget something postmodernist related. All the familiar tunnels leaking out from your wounds. The hole howls despite all of this, inside all of this. Are these questions there at all, except as an expectation to seamlessly fit all the strings together? 

Where’s the argument? That’s what needs to happen: something needs to be said at the core. Otherwise my effort to wrest something from this musical experience will be flouncy at best, ramshackle expungent at middle, and downright offensive to the intellect at worst. So what is the main message we get when we add saxophone to black metal? Twist: you thought I was suffering, writhing in my self-induced pain. But really I’ve been caught in a carousel, and as it spins in wavy grooves around a centric core of strident percussion and scratches from the amplified guitar totem pole. The saxophone’ s deployment leads to stunning chambers of spinning plates, rimming ‘round in gold-plated obsolescence. As the noise from the amps blasts out metallic overstructures, verging in tempo and feel so distinctly, while still keeping its DNA through its sublimated skin-sheddings, the whorl of the sax makes its presence felt, falling on the shore in either controlled recessions or crashing waves. 

The ‘black metal’ tag isn’t wholly inapplicable, just as the association of saxophone with ‘jazz’ isn’t either. But whatever these fully fleshed out and vision-calibrated songs are, they are not in those categories. Categories are like the big megaton cities, and the music eventuated from this meetup of energies takes strands of these cities and heads on out of town, prepared to ride and die in the margins, in the badlands. Noise makes for a nice button/badge that you found in a gas station somewhere along the way, somewhere entirely in passing, experienced entirely in transience, somewhere that was architected on the terrain of the dreaming mind, which is to say, the mind. 

Sure, the sax screams sometimes, amidst the clutter and raining ruin down upon the land, and in the absence of a vocalist, the squalling tone takes on a shade of characterization. Yet, due in part to the overall sonic window effect of listening in real time and thus feeling the subsequent distortion of time, the tone’s role shifts wildly, and its more to do with your subconscious mind as to which role it shall play in the grander drama. The sax has always been a somewhat challenging sound to structurize, and while its alien effects are certainly embraced here, it occasionally shifts into the background to support the other players as well. 

In the opening track, the stage is set for a rollicking drama. Melodic threads pin down a spongy action and rip into a wicked head-nodder of a groove. It’s a pleasant thrill to cope with the wailing sax, sounding played from a deep crevasse somewhere, down in the trenches of undersea ravines.

Each track on the thing feels like a realized composition. The most manic track, “Form Constant; The Grid”, builds to a avalanche of drum strikes, with a dueling guitar vs. dueling saxophone match-up, each soloing their faces off, and then the rocks from the drum avalanche hit the ground and settle into the song’s earlier addictive mid-tempo grove.  

There are also synthesizers, just in case you were wondering how weird this got. “Tten Crowns; The Corrupter”, purportedly a bonus track, dangles polished chains of bleepy noise before kicking off into a scorching tremolo guitar molten meltdown, complete with mathy leads and sax brays, like the band members are leading an army of plastic farm animals into battle in a claymation musical. Things quiet down, and you can almost see the spectacle in front of you, watching the playing out of the critter’s quarrel through the window. There’s a real live guitar freakout that’s not to be missed here as well. 

“Opposition/Perihelion; The Coil” begins with a jittery salvo of amp and drum interplay, before stumbling into a swamp replete with moss and the lingering tails of will-o-the-wisps, leaving forever into their moon particle transit, also known by probably no one else as a lunar wormhole, but staying long enough to give the fen some layers of snow-white texture. As the listener maneuvers through this peat bog, the buzz of mayflies that had been coating the interior of the listener’s eardrums reveals itself to be the sax, but in the listener’s exhaustion, the listener no longer cares what things are called, or what associations attach themselves to things without the permission of those things that the listener doesn’t care what are called. Groovers will have some interest in this track, which settles down from its earlier mania to ride a relatively on-kilter streak into the shadows. 

Accessibility is in short supply here, obviously, but this sort of slab is no longer “experimental”, in the sense of that word as a sub-category of music. The songs here are too sewn together to be merely the results of experiments. This is what happens when the experiment transcends its status as an experiment, and either flips the table over entirely or devours it whole on the spot, smiling through bloody splintered lips. Sometimes tossed-off tracks built from within a fever dream of hysterical thinking can sound charming, like when something you look at makes a muscle in your face move by itself. These however are not tossed-off tracks, they are strokes of volcanic dynamite, wrought in an ornate display of needlepointed interdiction. 

When you see the man behind the curtain for the first time, controlling the events of the stage, it changes everything. And inside of everything is included the moment when everything was changed, and somewhere along the way the reversal reverses, depositing that who sees into the space where they had been the whole time, sitting in a chair. But now there is more to see, more to investigate, more to discover, despite returning to the presumably known place of the past. The debut self-titled album from Ex Eye apparently makes me think about all of this stuff when I listen to it.