#also VERY interesting that the show changed it to be more quentin and eliot when in the books its very clearly more quentin and janet(margo

[popper51]

MAN quentin in the book is somehow MORE of an asshole about his relationship w/ alice than in the show. like bro you REALLY shouldve broken up with alice ages ago and now you're blaming it all falling apart on JANET???? the person YOU cheated on your girlfriend with????

its kind of funny that he doesnt even have the emotion bottles to blame it on. he was just normal drunk on an otherwise normal day. and he doesnt even learn about filory until AFTER he cheats!!! and theyre not all in mortal danger at the time!!!!!! he's just being a piece of shit who's way too much of a coward to break up with alice

[hmgfanfic]

Talk about all the Fillory worldbuilding in LQoF, please :)

THIS IS INEXCUSABLY LATE. I’m so sorry!

And I wish I could say it was just my scatterbrainedness, which is definitely a constant factor, but it was also that when you sent this, I was deeeeeeeep into writing the final few chapters of Little Quirks of Fate and I was kind of... in my head about it. It took a lot longer to finish than I had planned (a cardinal sin to my particular combo of severe ADHD and Type-A personality) and I was spending excessive amounts of time making sure I figured out a satisfying ending by my own exacting standards, so I just didn’t have the headspace to think through my early process yet. Very sorry about that :( But now that I’m finally done, I’m excited to look back! So if you’ll indulge me a very late answer, I’d be tickled. 💗

Long ramblings and major fic spoilers under the cut.

The truth is a lot the world building came down to character stuff foremost, followed closely by my preferences as a writer. I adapted the world to the story I wanted to tell, while using the little bits of information we’re given in canon as a baseline, rather than building the story around the world. And that was a lot more fulfilling for me, since I only really love worldbuilding through the lens of character, rather than as an exercise unto itself (though it’s super fun once you get rolling.)

To explain what I mean by that, you need to know that Little Quirks of Fate was originally going to be a oneshot. My plan was about 25-30k (lol) of a pure S2 retelling, only with Quentin in the role of Fen. It was also going to take a much more traditional enemies-to-lovers’ path—with Quentin as an active member of the FU Fighters—and the whole thing was going to be in his POV. Also, they weren’t even going to kiss until after the bank heist (which, yes, was going to be a thing here), but that got abandoned the fastest in favor of trying my hand at smut. But two things made me realize I needed to significantly shift course:

1) I was struggling to make Quentin actually feel like Quentin. I wrote this very atmospheric early scene at the FU Fighters encampment, with lots of description of the bonfires and the way their shirts dyed in Fillorian red looked like blood (you get it.) It took place in the black of night, shrouded in secrecy, and when Bayler questioned Quentin about his new husband, Quentin said something like, “He’s a drunk idiot, we have the advantage.” It was all very lush and dramatic, but it really, really, really didn’t feel like Q in any recognizable way to me. Now, I’m not someone who thinks Q needs to be a precious sweetheart all the time, but what I was writing didn’t have his idiosyncrasies or a motivation that felt true to who I feel he is.

2) The draft was DEFINITELY missing Eliot’s story and his perspective. I certainly don’t think Eliot’s POV is always necessary (sometimes not having his direct thoughts heightens tension in romance especially), but it felt really necessary here, to fill in the gaps of what Quentin was assuming and also—more importantly—because the events were just as impactful on him, but in a very different way. So I knew I was missing half the narrative, but that meant I would need to deal more explicitly with the Beast (i.e., Mike, the most devastating storyline to me, personally) and I really, really didn’t want to do that.

My first step in making a more recognizable Quentin was figuring out a way he could more or less use the same syntax that he does on the show. Voice is the first way I connect with a character, so while many writers in this fandom thrive at modifying speech patterns and keeping the heart of a character alive, keeping close to Quentin’s canon speech was an easy fix for me in a story I was excited to get rolling. Sort of like the old adage of uplifting your strengths before putting outsize energy into things you struggle with.

The easiest way I could think to give him the same syntax was to figure out a way Quentin spent some significant time on Earth during his formative years. And once I rewatched 2x06 and was reminded that Ess went to Phillips Exeter Academy for high school, I lost my damn mind. I started sketching out ways that Quentin could get there too and that’s how I built out the idea of Umber brokering a marriage deal with the actual landmass of Coldwater Cove, which included an education opportunity for the boys (in a nod to Fillory’s patriarchal nature), and also the reason why Umber did that, which was to take advantage of his brother’s orgy mistake with the first Children of Earth to usher in a more productive and orderly Fillory. So that created a whole new set of rules and essentially a whole new world for me to play with... all for the sake of Quentin getting to say “fuck.” It was that important to me. :p

And as I worked through all that, I realized I also wanted to give Q magic, since Quentin’s relationship with magic is something I’m interested in. But I had read on ye olde Tumblr that the reason Illario uses a wand in 2x06 is a nod to the books, where Fillorians specifically aren’t Magicians and that’s the rationale for the Children of Earth royalty. And while I generally see the books as interesting supplemental material with zero bearing on the television show canon, I still said to myself, “Self, wouldn’t it be kind of funny if Quentin was the only native born Fillorian who had magic and so the FU Fighters believe he’s the chosen true High King, but instead of it being because he’s ~special~, it’s because Umber made a clerical error? Lol! Hilarious!”

So while all my questions for how to explain all THAT spun out into more and more detail, at the same time...

I caved to the idea that this story was going to be a No Beast AU, just like my last two stories, mostly because I really couldn’t bring myself to deal with the Mike of it all, even tangentially. I could have just changed that single element, but I’m not a half-measure gal! But I still wanted to stick with the vague background theme of Fillory = adulthood from a questing perspective and I wanted Julia leading the charge this time, but without the sexual assault that occurs in canon. So obviously, the answer was avenging all of the murdered and cannibalized “grown-ups,” i.e., master Magicians, by seeking out help from the gods in a balanced Fillory free from the devastation of the Beast. Duh! ;)

So then, like anyone would do, I rewatched every episode up to 4x11 that makes a mention of Fillory and took about twenty pages of notes on the canon worldbuilding, along with an analysis of how much a particular piece of information would be impacted or not by balance in the realm. For instance, the existence of geraniums (per The Fillorian Candidate and Tick’s misunderstanding of “power plants”) and the lack of diamonds as a precious stone (per the River Watcher not knowing the value of Margo’s earrings in Knight of Crowns) struck me as static facts unaffected by Ember’s reign of chaos. But I shifted the overall feel of Fillory to one that’s more functional and a lot more bureaucratic, leaning on things like the existence of socialized health/vision/dental insurance (the idea of which is canonical, per a petition from the beavers requesting dental coverage from acting High King Josh in Ramifications), strict taxation plans, and an overall sense of thriving Ceremony to show Umber’s influence.

Basically, I wanted Eliot to inherit a much, much easier Fillory to rule—especially with the highly educated Quentin as a built-in and passionate advisor—mostly so it wouldn’t completely strain credulity when a lot of his energy goes toward his love life rather than the intricacies of ruling (though Margo would say he still favored his personal life more than he should have, and she wasn’t... wrong. He wants to be a husband more than a king!) But I specifically made it so most of the chaotic elements were played as whimsical (sorry) quirky shit or smaller hints of greater injustice (see: Ember getting rid of STDs, but still letting magic-poor citizens die of sepsis because that’s too boring to deal with), all while a cataclysmic danger lurked under the surface.

After that, I just filled in details as they worked with character stuff and plot stuff, and I tried to make sure they didn’t contradict each other in a way that couldn’t be chalked up to “chaos.” I basically lived with the Fillory map open all the time and also took screenshots of Benedict’s map of Loria, which gave me alternate ideas for the overall feel of the landmass rather than just the kingdom. And pretty much that’s the basic process I used to create the world! It was extremely fun, and I learned a lot, though I’m *definitely* focusing on some pure relationship kind of stuff for a while because... oof, sometimes it was a lot.

Annnnnnnd if you’re still with me, here’s some stray observations, for funsies:

I wanted Quentin and Eliot’s starting points to be more mature than in the show. Quentin when we’re introduced to him as an adult in LQoF is a lot more jaded and cautious than S1 Q, which is because in this world, his S1 mentality happened while he was on Earth and came to a head during the throes of his fucked up relationship with Bayler. Similarly, Eliot had already gone through a lot of shit too, and was much more self-actualized by the time he agreed to be High King here than in the show. It was still out of desperation for purpose, but not coming out of a direct trauma spiral. I think if they had been younger, both in age and mentality, the story wouldn’t have worked because they would’ve blown it up day two. They’re both still disasters, as we like to say, which is why the... everything happens, but they’re not disasters in the exact same way as in early canon. I thought of them as closer to their S3 selves, pre-Mosaic.

While I mostly kept Quentin’s syntax the same as on the show, I did change it up in some ways to reflect his Fillorian upbringing. The most obvious was replacing “goddamn” with “godsdamned” and “Jesus” with “Hades,” but I also made him slow on the Earth idiomatic uptake and slightly more likely to use passive voice and less likely to use contractions, especially early on and especially when speaking with Fen. He also said slightly out of date things even for someone who last remembered 1999, since Earth was still overwhelming despite his immersion. E.g.: In the epilogue, he asks Eliot if he can spend some time “Googling the World Wide Web” instead of watching Gossip Girl together, even though by 1999 most people were saying “on-line” or “the internet” by a pretty wide margin. But in my mind, the first term he learned was World Wide Web and he stuck to it like glue.

I originally had a full-blown coronation scene, where Quentin helped Eliot with the answers to the 90s questions via subtle charades, such as flapping his hands at his sides to give him the answer “Wings” (and Eliot was eventually going to Eliot-Logically use that moment to argue to Quentin that maybe Q really is the true High King since he was the one who actually answered the Knight’s questions, etc.), but I cut it and only showed bits and pieces in flashbacks because it didn’t really matter. They had to treat it seriously because it was An Event in this version of balanced/un-Beasted Fillory, with a full audience bearing witness, but the whole thrust of the external plot was about dismantling that moment and the concept of monarchy in general, so giving it too much weight outside of the Eliot and Julia friendship felt disingenuous to the story I was telling.

This is also why it was important to me that Margo hated the title High King Eliot the Kind, even though I only brought it up textually once or twice. But in my view, she fucking hated it and never came around to it. Which isn’t because she doesn’t think Eliot is kind, it’s that it felt like a simplification of all that he is, and the coronation ceremony in general felt similarly shallow. It wasn’t just the four of them working out their shit on the beach; it was true ceremony after a year of questing toil and a lot lingering uncertainty/resentments (especially regarding Julia), so it was too Big Shiny Happy Bow to her.

Yet on the same theme, my greatest regret was not being able to work in the fact that Margo’s title for Penny (King Penny the Persistent) was supposed to be half-sincere and half-sex joke. She did genuinely admire that he stuck it out even through his initial heartbreak because he gives a shit about his people underneath it all, but—and this is a very important headcanon to me—she admired his dedication to the art of the female orgasm even more.

I was originally also going to include the One Day More sequence with way more details—such as Umber taking the Javert lines, Ember taking the Thenardier lines, Bayler taking the Enjolras lines, and Penny taking the Marius lines, but... uh... writing a musical number is apparently not in my skill set. Also, honestly, the weirdness of the original is its whole charm and so I didn’t want to improve upon perfection. See also, in a more serious way: Eliot bowing to High King Margo on the Muntjac, the events of Plan B, and Quentin & Penny in the Flying Forest. Would not touch it!

My favorite Fillorian detail was either the guy who sent a citizen petition requesting a “smidgen” of Eliot’s earwax for an undisclosed purpose, or the use of the verb “to peg” to describe a Pegasus flock greeting an outsider with honor. They encapsulate the obscene yet pristine feel I always tried to give Fillory.

My favorite subtle(-ish?) ironic moment is Ess, the heir to a hereditary monarchy, taking Quentin to task for not honoring the anarchy patch on his high school backpack. In general, I don’t like everything being neatly resolved, including on an overarching world level. And I very strongly felt they had ZERO business meddling in Loria, so it left some fun-to-me unanswered questions. Will Ess usher in democracy for Loria based on his experiences on Earth? Maybe! Maybe not, since tradition’s a hell of a drug and Loria has its own history and complexities. Who knows?

I misread the town name Sutton as Sultan on the map the first time I referenced Bayler’s hometown (Sultan’s Ridge), but instead of going back to fix it, I just made it a sister town. Whatever!

I do not know how Quentin got a full bookshelf of Earth literature back to Fillory with him. Magic, I guess. (That’s the answer to anything I didn’t totally think through.)

I occasionally get asked whether Quentin and Fen were physically related. The answer is no, though it doesn’t totally matter. But I intended heart-cousins to be more like close family friends. (Though I actually originally had a joke where Eliot still wasn’t sure by the epilogue, but it didn’t land/feel realistic so I cut it.)

The details of the magic frequency poisoning were DEFINITELY what I thought through the least. My main goal was to have something catastrophic happen to Fillory based in part from the historical actions of the Children of Earth and Ember, patently ridiculously but with lasting consequences. Hence, god orgy that took away Fillorian human magic and sent out a slow poisoning of the overall magic “frequency.” It sounds all well and good, but it’s definitely something that would fall apart with even the lightest bit of prodding. It serves it’s purpose though, so I figured the gaps could be filled in or politely ignored. ;)

This question was way too much fun and a helpful retrospective for me! Thank you so much for indulging me, many moons ago. 💗

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Okay start us out with those Magicians Opinions!

the first character i ever fell in love with:  LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT QUENTIN COLDWATER.  Okay, but yeah, they really introduced him in a way that worked-worked for me – that whole opening sequence that cuts between Quentin being tense and closed-off and miserable in this hollow, almost angry way in the office of the hospital, and Quentin trying to act normal at a party, making wan jokes while the misery and the anger leaks out of him and makes him just so unpalatable to be around – I mean, Jason Ralph just takes the character by the throat instantly and Goes There.  I remember thinking as I was watching it that this was the first “anxious nerd dude” character I'd ever seen who wasn't being framed as actually funny/weird/charming/vulnerable/the clear audience stand-in, but framed as if he were a real person who's really eaten up by depression and self-loathing, and just as off-putting as that is in real life.  I vividly remember just having that reaction of, “Oh. This is about someone who's really hanging on by his fingernails, not just Hollywood Depressed,” and latching on so hard, because I needed to see that so much, and I needed to root for him to find his reason, not in spite of but because as a character he was resistant to being liked by other people, by the audience. It's not loveable and charming, to hate yourself, to find your life barely tolerable.  It's not a position from which it's easy to see your way forward, and to me Quentin is the most honest expression of that reality that I had ever seen in genre tv.  So like, I get why some people didn't like him in first season – he's intentionally tough to like – but I was ultra-invested from minute one, and literally everything he ever said or did made me love him more.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: I think I was kind of intrigued by Fen early on – I liked the idea that she was this naive fairy-tale girl who was going to have this harsh awakening when her Destined Prince turned out to be a real person who couldn't fulfill her fantasies, who was going to have to figure out who she was beyond “going to marry the king someday.”  That seemed like an interesting arc, and here and there they were kind of doing it – I love the realpolitik she occasionally comes out with, particularly that one scene on the boat when she's like, “The dipshits from my hometown are going to execute me because of you, so sticking with you is kind of my only option and that's just happening.”  But then...I don't know, she's really irritating, and they got this weird thing in their heads where her problem is that Eliot sucks, instead of that being The Girl Who Will Marry the King Someday is a sucky role to be forced into making a real life out of, and I just gave up trying to like her eventually.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: I liked Penny/Kady all right, until they started doing the weird thing where “in Doomed Love with Penny” was Kady's only emotional arc, like – they actually had her say that all she ever cared about was being Penny's girlfriend, and that's the kind of thing that kind of retroactively ruins the pairing for me.

my ultimate favorite character™: So after everything I said up top – it's actually Eliot.  That snuck up on me!  And my love for Quentin never went away, not by any means, but.  God, Eliot.

prettiest character: If I try to take an objective stance, I'd say it's probably Margo?  Like, she's just unearthly beautiful.  But there's something about Jason Ralph's goddamn face that – I don't know, it just enthralls me; he does okay-ish at playing Normal-Looking for TV, but also if I look at him for too long it kind of hurts, he's so stupidly gorgeous.

my most hated character: Hyman.  And I thought we were supposed to hate Hyman, but then season 5 allegedly happened, and everyone was like, aw, Hyman's okay!  But – no he's not?  He's obviously not okay? He deeply sucks?  Ugh, season 5.

my OTP: Hi, I'm Milo, and welcome to my Tumblr.  But yeah, it's Quentin/Eliot, canonical soulmates and The Ditch I Will Die In.

my NOTP: You know, they kind of wore me down to the point of “fine, what the fuck ever,” but I still don't support Margo/Josh.  It's bad, it's a bad relationship, it was a bad idea.

favorite episode: I really love Be the Penny, but the actual answer is Escape From the Happy Place.  I feel allegiance to Be the Penny, I have not a negative word to say about it, but Escape from the Happy Place is just a level beyond, it's astonishingly good.

saddest death: This question is a microaggression and I will not stand for it.

favorite season: I'm about to break your brain, but – it's 4!  It's season 4!  I fucking love the first ten episodes of s4!  I love the Monster, I love Bad News Bear, I love Hard Glossy Armor, I love fucking Santa Claus.  I think s4 has this great propulsive energy where the rest of the series has always been plagued by a tendency to kind of throw everything at the wall and see if anything sticks, the stakes are clear, the external villain and the emotional stuff work together for once, everyone's performances are so strong.  The collapse at the end feels so appalling to me in part because I was totally on the ride for most of the season.

least favorite season: I mean, it's season 5, but it didn't have to be.  I was never going to get over Quentin's death, per se, but I think there were ways to structure the next season that would've been workable, and honestly there are things about s5 that I do like.  I watched most of 5 feeling like it was – messy, but messy in the same way that s2 was messy, the same way The Magicians has always been a little messy, and it wasn't until the end when I really just threw up my hands and was like, okay, I get it, there was never a plan, none of this was going anywhere.  God, the last couple of episodes still frustrate me so much, because right up until that point, there was still time to salvage a lot of character work, but nope!

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: So I don't hate her, and in fact I came to kind of like her eventually, but I did actively hate Julia for a long, long time.  Just.  Like, she really – pushes my buttons in a very specific way, and if she were a real person I would absolutely love myself by having as little contact as possible with Julia, but because everyone except me loves her so much, I really kind of forced myself to delve into her and try to see what people liked about her, and I do think it was a pretty successful project.  I would definitely say at this point that I appreciate Julia as a character, and I have a pretty good sense of what Stuff she activates in me that produces that ruffled reaction, which has allowed me to go beyond Julia Sucks Actually to This Character Is Not Really For Me.  I love and support the 98% of fandom who like Julia!  In my way, I love and support Julia!  But kind of like – a sibling you're sort of forced to into a relationship with, that you love even though they drive you crazy and you're not too sure you will really ever like them.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: The Monster.  I mean, it's not that I wanted a redemption arc for him or anything (although @portraitofemmy has always been onto something with the idea that if the Monster is essentially a child, allowing Quentin to save the world by parenting him would've been a pretty clever payoff for long-term arcs), he's just the kind of villain that is just endlessly fun to watch.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: I mean, that's a pretty succinct summary of the entire Eliot Waugh Experience.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: With the caveat that I still don't believe in guilt because these are just imaginary people in imaginary stories, I definitely still think there's a great romantic tragedy right there for the taking with Eliot/Seb.  I wouldn't say the show should have done it, because that would obviously have been just a very different direction than they intended to go, but as a non-canonical ship, I think it's so potentially rich, and someday I'm going to have time to go back to that story I was writing about them, whether or not anyone else ever gives a shit about it.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: I never could figure out what people's issue was with Julia/Penny23, they seemed to make each other happy.  He was a sweet, supportive dude, and I like their little Wild Thornberrys Interdimensional Adventurers family at the end, although I wish they'd done it on purpose, because “guess what life-changing thing is happening to Julia's body without her consent this week!” was not a well the writers needed to go back to, in my opinion.  But I like the idea that Julia ends up with a good guy and a magic kid and is off doing quests and shit, the whole shebang, I thought that was a nice ending.  For whatever that's worth, and I imagine that from the perspective of a real Julia fan, my opinion at this point is not worth much!

[rochellena]

What makes Quentin different and lesser than the others? Why is this being done this way? Why won’t they ask the questions of him, they’ve asked of Alice and Eliot? Will I ever be ok?

So, I’ve been trying to find the words to explain what is upsetting me most about the way the Q story is being handled in s5. I won’t lie, there are some things that hitting the right notes for me (I’m easy person to win over. I won’t lie. My standards do not exist.), but at the same time, I keep coming back to how quickly this has been wrapped up. Julia was sad for about 5 minutes and Margo acts like she doesn’t know who this Q person was. I heard there had actually been a touching scene where Kady showed some grief, but it was cut, which is a shame --I always thought the Kady/Q almost friendship was interesting (I loathed that the only thing she could think of to bring to the finale fire was the autographed book that had been one of the final straws for breaking Q’s spirit. Anyway not the point, but boy I would love to do a whole write up about that), and with how detached Kady’s story is from EVERYTHING ELSE, it would have been a good way to incorporate her into this bigger story of mourning and grief (though it also just goes to show how much of the glue that Q was to these characters).

The only characters who actually seem affected by what happened are Alice and Eliot, which while not surprising, it kind of hurts a lot to see the memory of Quentin Coldwater reduced down to his two major romantic partners. And after the newest episode, it hurts more to see how these two have officially given up on him now too. These two that he fought so hard to save. I mean, you can even compare the s2 arc of saving Alice to the s4 arc of saving Eliot, and they’re almost beat for beat the same--the initial denial and hope that something can be done (going to the flying forest, helping the monster in hopes he’ll release El), some outside force assuring him that it can not be done as they’re dead dead (the questing beast and the monster), he believes it for about a half second before something happens (ghost|niffin!Alice haunting him, El breaking free from the monster for a moment) and then he gives every ounce of energy he has to saving them-- some of them silly (interpretive dances and talking to mummies), some of them painful (niffin!alice doing everything she can to emotionally hurt him, the monster constantly touching him and using Eliot’s body as a tool to keep Q in line), hell, he even visits Mayakovsky for help during each of these arcs. All of this to say, there’s no one who could deny that Q did not give up on Alice and El, never, and definitely not so easily or quickly. 

So to see these two people, the two that at different points of his life, he gave everything to bring back from death, it hurts. And that’s what it was, Niffin!Alice was not just another version of Alice. Our Alice died that day. Q brought her back, but she died the day she became a niffin. Now because she was a niffin, it was a whole different life, kind of like Fred becoming Ilyria on Angel. Niffin!Alice ended up having her own set of experiences (good and bad) and her own life, and the question of whether it was right for Q to strip that away from her to bring back our Alice was the entirety of their s3 story, but at the end of the day, the answer settled on yes, it was right to bring her back because no matter what she experienced as a niffin, the power she had, it only happened because a 23 year old girl was tragically killed. 

El was a little different, but at the same time, as time went on, we saw the Monster developing his own views and thoughts. For the first time since his creation, he was able to act on his own accord and he discovered he liked churros and television and touching and Starbucks and Quentin and those quiet moments in the forest under an old tree. I mean, that last moment of the monster, sitting under that tree, demonstrated that to get Eliot back, they had to eliminate this new existence. Again, this isn’t the same as niffin!Alice because even post-rehumaning of her, there was a part of her that enjoyed that other existence (but it was still the right thing to do) while Eliot was invaded and did not like it. But in the end, the similarities of what Q did, what Q gave up, and what Q destroyed to bring back the people he loved are present and strong. 

So, it brings me to this thing I’m really struggling with-- every one keeps saying that the reason they can’t/shouldn’t bring Q back is because it was his choice. But it was also Alice’s choice to go niffin that day. She admitted it; she let herself burn so she could destroy the beast. Eliot might not have known he’d get possessed, but he knew he was putting his life in danger when he pulled that trigger, but he did so he could try to protect Q. Just like Q doing what he did to defeat Everett (which there is so much stuff to support that this was NOT THE ONLY OPTION but that’s not the point here), Alice sacrificed herself to defeat the beast and save her friends and Eliot was willing to sacrifice himself to kill the monster and save Q. 

So why is Quentin’s choice the only one that sticks? Why his “sacrificial choice” more concrete than theirs? Why does it need to be respected? All three of them would sacrifice themselves to save the people they love. The question at the end of the day is though, would they like to save their friends and also be alive themselves? Alice and El (except for Q) both got to answer that question (and from what we know about this season, Eliot will become more sure on this part, much like Alice over s3 and 4): though it’s rough, though it’s painful and messy and dirty, life is worth something. But for Q, this isn’t a question that’s being asked. The idea that they can’t change time because it has to have happened for them to be alive now doesn’t hold weight when Q brought back Alice and Q saved Eliot. 

And this gets to the crux of my issue: If you ask that question, and the answer is yes, saving your friends is important but so is being alive, then everyone giving up on him and not reciprocating what he would do for them, is terrible and heartbreaking and basically an affirmation of his every negative thought--disposable, useless, unnecessary, unlovable, he breaks things. But if the answer is yeah saving my friends is important but my own life is not, then it’s canon confirmation that his death was a suicide, and then the question of choice becomes void, and they should be doing everything they can to save him a la What Dreams May Come. 

If they aren’t going to bring Q back (and I truly dgaf about bts stuff, as how this is all being handled rests squarely on the shoulders of the people writing it. And honestly if this is the result of JR leaving because he wanted more creative control, than they should have probably given it to him because he would have done a lot better by Q-- end snark), then it should be a bigger impact than 2 characters being sad, but accepting with very little pushback, and moving on. Or at the very least, give better reasons why beyond “it was his choice.” This is magical fantasy world where anything can happen and no one stays dead, give me something with meat. Q deserved better than that, and it’s really breaking my heart that in universe, no one else thinks so. 

[moltres-dos-uno]

The Magicians, Thank You

The Magicians series ending spoilers:

As of today, April 2nd, 2020 The Magicians series has ended with its 5th season. And although it took twists and turns we didn’t expect it still was one of the best shows that entered my life. This show was there for me when I needed it and helped me more than I can ever repay. The ending of this show made me cry for the first time in years, tears of joy and sadness that are no where close enough to a thank you.

From season one following Quentin as he is thrown into a new world I also got sucked into it. Watching as these characters were introduced and began to build relationships. Through the beginning of the teams 1st major quest, this world began to build my escape.

Season 2 brought aftermath, Alice dying, Eliot and Margo being the King and Queen of Fillory, Julia and Quentin reuniting, the death of gods and the end to magic. This is where I had watched to before my 1st major break between seasons. As I waited I would go back and re-watch the 2 season available, diving into a magical world that I used as escape,

As season 3 came out I grew more attached to the characters other than Quentin. Make no mistake the show follows Quentin but season 3 got me more interested in the other story lines. Eliot became a character I projected onto, a queer character from a family that he had to hide himself from, making himself have to reinvent his entire identity, losing love and later even more of it.

Season 4 was a catch up, I had to get back into it and once I did I felt right back at home. I feared for the characters I had become so attached to, watching the character I felt so attached to be a monster. I was on the edge of my seat for every second until the very end where a very controversial decision was made, the death of the main character, Quentin Coldwater. I have my own opinion on the decision to remove Jason Ralph but the death of the character saddened me but I was still in the state of mind unable to cry for a show.

Season 5 at first was a wave of fresh air as I had graduated and had 0 idea of what I was doing with my life. Then I learn it will be the last season, I counted down the episodes. I have my issues with the last season but I got to watch the characters change into their personalities, or stay static. As not everyone’s issues were resolved and the series ended with so much to explore, and I like that because even though I can’t watch these story plots anymore they are still continuing, this story isn’t over and I can still live in it. By the end of the series I worked on myself to be better, accept the bad parts of myself, undo trauma and mental blocks so by the time the final episode ended I cried. I cried to say good-bye to this show that helped me through some of the toughest times in my life. A show that I got lost in over and over and over so many times its embarresing. A story that by the end I no longer had to hide in but could enjoy from the outside. The series watched me grow from someone I was sad to be to someone I have grown to love.

Dear Magicians,Levi Grossman, John McNamara, Sera Gamble, Chris Fisher, Jason Ralph, Hale Appleman, Arjun Gupta, Stella Maeve, Olivia Dudley, Summer Bishil, Jude Tailor, and so many more,

Thank you for everything you did for me!

[thanagariansnarebeast]

Top ten (11) Bi/Pan characters Part 1

Happy Pride Month! I was talking to someone about representation in media and it got me thinking about my favorite bisexual characters, so I thought I’d make this list. I’m only including canonically bisexual/pan characters that have been shown to be romantically interested in or sexually interested in both genders or non-binary people, so no characters that are shipped as bi; I’m mostly having this rule because having actual representation really matters. I’ll also do my best to not include problematic characters/media, I don’t want to include villains  or shows that are fond of killing off under represented groups. I know some characters its hard to tell what sexuality they are, as it isn’t always explicitly stated; but I went with characters that clearly are shown as not being completely straight or completely homosexual, sexuality is a spectrum and being mostly into one or the other still counts. I actually realized after making this that I had 11 characters, so oops.

11. Quentin Coldwater (The Magicians)

(Spoilers for seasons 1-4 of the Magicians) Quentin was a character that I wasn’t all that fond of at the beginning of the series because he had a lot of that blank slate main character stuff going on, but as the show went on he really grew on me and showed who he was. I’m guessing in the book he’s more fleshed out at the beginning because you know more about what’s going on in his head, so I’m guessing translating that to a t.v. series made him seem less interesting at first. My favorite moments with him are when he uses his intelligence and creativity to solve problems, and when he gets sick of someone’s shit and tells them they are being an ass. He’s clearly shown as having romantic and sexual interest in both genders, and while he did hurt some feelings by doing it; he was clearly very remorseful and very much regretted it. He also much later asks Eliot to be in a relationship with him after they live a whole life time together, which is about as romantic as you can get.

10. Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn 99)

I know we are all on a cop bashing spree lately (A very justified one, don’t get me wrong), but this is a fictional character in an alternate reality where most cops are actually trying to help people, and I wouldn’t consider the show to be cop propaganda because they show cops being racist, negligent, and incompetent as well, so I don’t think its fair to hate a show because of what is going on in real life when the show isn’t preaching anything harmful. Rosa is smart, funny, caring, and a total badass; I’ve always loved badass female characters in leather jackets. She has her anger issues, and issues socializing with people, but she still cares deeply for her friends and does her best to always do the right thing. Her struggle to deal with her sexuality and coming out to her friends and family, and the show does it in a very grounded and mature way. Her parents struggling to accept her was very sad to see, but also a sad reality for many people; and I loved that they acknowledge that even now we struggle to be accepted. Her friends are all very understanding and do everything to help her understand that they love and accept her and her having an openly gay captain to look up to is a cool bonus.

9. Harley Quinn (D.C. Comics)

Now I said I wouldn’t include any villains so this is kind of cheating, but she is an anti-hero in some versions, and the picture I used was specifically from the video game Injustice 2 where she is a member of the Justice League and a reformed villain so I don’t think its completely fair to just say she’s a villain. Her first relationship was horrible and incredibly toxic, but she learned and grew from that experience and moved on to other romantic interests like Poison Ivy and a few others. She’s had a few partners in different versions of the comics/ t.v. shows/ films/ video games,  some more healthy than others; but she is constantly learning and growing as a person. I love her fun and playful personality, most of her outfits, her crazy weapons, and her hyenas Bud and Lou. The version of her from the Injustice games and comics is my favorite because of her outfit, her character growth, and how well they write her character.

8. Iron Bull (Dragon Age: Inquisition)

Iron Bull is one of my favorite companions in any Dragon Age game, he’s such a fun character. He’s charming, honest, caring, and both literally and metaphorically a giant badass. His upbringing and culture are very different than the other races, and sexuality to him isn’t really about the gender of his partner and that kind of thing just isn’t a big deal to him. You have the option to just have sex with him or become romantically involved with him in the game, but even if you don’t he still brings up how he feels about that kind of thing; so his sexually is still cannon even if you don’t do anything with him. I didn’t put Liara from the Mass Effect games on here because while I’ve only played the first two, I haven’t seen any evidence that outside of the player character she is interested in people romantically or sexually; and also her species seems to be gender fluid and the whole thing is just too complicated for me to try and figure out at 1:30 in the morning. Iron Bull is a very interesting character in the game, and early on you make a choice that changes his personality and it is interesting to see the differences that decision has on him. He’s also voiced by Freddie Prinze Jr. which blew me away, because I could not tell based on how he sounds in game.

7. Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer)

While I am familiar withe the D.C./ Vertigo comics that he is in I have not read all of them, so I am going with the very not blonde t.v. version of the character. Lucifer is a charming and charismatic man-child in the show, and loves having fun; which makes the character a lot of fun to watch. He also isn’t breaking my no villains rule because he is the main protagonist of the show, and while he has done some bad things; he and the show make a explicit point about how much he hates that people assume he is evil because his dad forced him to rule over hell. He flirts with and defiantly has many sexual partners of male and female, and even makes jokes like “What? Its called a devil’s threesome for a reason.” Another reason that I picked the t.v. show version is because Tom Ellis’s portrayal of Lucifer just oozes sexuality and charm. Lucifer has a lot of issues that make him into the character that he is, but he tries his best to do the right thing; and does genuinely care about his friends and family; and feels remorse when he does things that hurt them. For a character that is assumed to be evil by most people, he has a very vocal sense of justice, and has no qualms about delivering what he considers to be justice.

6. Sara Lance (Arrow/ Legends of Tomorrow)

Sara is strong, beautiful, and has a strong sense of justice. I love her white costumes, and how she just bounces around time seducing people; she’s a female Jack Harkness in that aspect. She is another character deeply devoted to her friends and family, and while she has made mistakes, she definitely learned from them. I also love how she’s a female character that they actually show as muscular. (Spoilers to follow for both shows) She struggles to not give in to her assassin training at times, but she has gotten much better at it. I try not to include characters from fiction where they kill LGBTQ+ characters, but she doesn’t stay dead so I really don’t think that it counts. She is shown as having both male and female sexual and romantic partners, and I love her current relationship in the show. Caity Lotz says she has had conversations with the writers about the character’s sexuality, and if she’s still bisexual if they mostly show her with women, and Caity had to explain that Sara is always bi, no matter who she is with; which I definitely think is an issue that comes up when dealing with writing a bisexual character, because some people just don’t seem to understand.

[thehollowprince]

The Mountain of Ghosts

Another week, another episode. This one dealt with a topic that I know has been on the fandom's mind since the end of season four, so let's just dive into this.

Alice and Eliot - obviously the big part of the episode. This has been on everyone's mind since season one and the possibility of Queliot was a thing. It's been a constant back and forth, one or the other, situation since, and sadly, we all know where most of the fandom landed on that issue. This was a good episode that got to the crux of the issue here, that being Quentin. Not Alice's or Eliot's feelings toward Quentin but rather his feelings toward them.

For years I've stood here and watched the constant screeching of "Quentin loved Eliot more!" or more rarely, (seriously, very rarely), "Quentin loved Alice more!" It got to the point where I firmly believed, and still believe, that it wasn't a matter of actually caring about Quentin at all. I'm not saying that no one actually liked Q, but that was secondary to the main issue of which ship would win in the end. Shipping is a big thing in fandom, but what no one really ever wants to admit is that it's also a big problem in fandom, in that ship wars happen and all some people seem to care about is the validation that comes with watching their ship set sail or another ship sink. That's all I'm going to say about that right now, because honestly the problem with shipping in fandom is a whole other topic waiting to be made, but its relevant to this issue, so let's move on.

Alice and Eliot both loved Quentin, and whether anyone wants to admit it or not, he loved both of them back. It isn't a matter of saying he loved either one of them more, or which one was more valid because no one loves two different people in the same way. Some of the things that Quentin loved about Alice aren't the same things he would have loved about Eliot. And this episode really highlighted that. Eliot and Alice are about as different as you can get, especially when it comes to romance. They both had different approaches to their relationship with Q, and I'm so glad we got to see them resolve their differences. We finally got to see Eliot say to someone else that he and Q loved each other, and have Alice not only acknowledge it but embrace it. She said it best, "what was I going to do? Demand he be less complicated? That he only love one person?" Too often Alice is reduced to this one-dimensional girl who is only defined by her relationship with Quentin, especially by fandom, and this really broke that mold. This was a nice episode for the two of them, to work through their anger and to work together to let go of Quentin... to acknowledge that they couldn't save him. I hope this bond between the two of them keeps building through the rest of the season.

PS: please let Alice wear jeans and pants more often. She looked so much more comfortable than she does in those fetish school girl dresses.

Moving on...

Margo - I'm not sure how I feel about this whole "reclaiming the throne" thing she's got going on. I loved Margo winning the throne by her own merit back in season three, because it worked in that moment. And then last year we had her abandon the throne to save Eliot. When push came to shove, she valued one person over the duty she had as a king to her people. I'm not faulting her for that, because I understand where she was coming from, but she still gave up the throne and it paved the way for Fen to assume the throne.

I can only speak for me, but I thought that was beautiful. Having a Fillorian finally sit on the throne of Fillory felt like a major milestone, and now we're just supposed to believe that Margo gets to be the king because she said so? I didn't like that. That's one of Margo's negative character traits, her entitlement, which brings us to...

Fen - I do not like what they're doing with her so far this season. Who is the sycophantic woman? She admired Margo, of course, but not to the extent of idol worship. This is a woman who was part of the F.U. Fighters, fighting for Fillorian rights in a kingdom always ruled by outsiders. But then the moment Margo's not there, she turns into this incompetent moron, so much so that she and Josh were overthrown because they were waiting for someone else to save them, and I don't like that. That is a complete disservice to the character and the journey she's been on for the previous three seasons.

Also, this whole Josh thing that's going to come between these two women, who have had such respect for each other, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I was one of those (probably the only) who was rooting for Josh and Margo. Were there things I would have changed about it? Of course, but I thought they worked well together and off of one another, and now we have this bullshit. I liked Josh, not just because we shared the same name, but because he was an interesting character that people, especially women, seemed to like, not because of his appearance but because of his personality. And now they've turned him into a quintessential Nice Guy™ who sleeps with his girlfriend's friend instead of figuring out a way to save themselves and Fillory.

I will say that it'll be interesting to see how Fen and Margo repair their friendship after that revelation that Margo legitimately tried to kill her, if they repair it at all.

As for everyone else...

Julia - I know we're working up to something with her and the big catastrophe, so I'm gonna let her lack of a role these past two episodes aside from support slide.

Penny - I really would like to see more of Professor Adoyodi, aside from just him doing research for class. Also, it's sad that they had him mention that "best case scenario for Travelers" is that they just become an Uber for their friends, only to have Julia ask him for a lift...

Like, y'all wrote it, maybe you should pay more attention to it!

And then there's Kady and Fogg. The Magicians is so different then other ensemble shows in that they actually use the ensemble! That being said, characters like Fogg and Kady often end up on the side because, while they're deemed primary characters, they feel more like secondary or tertiary ones. I know I'm not the only one interested in what's going on with the Hedge Witches, but we don't see Kady and what's going on with them unless one of the other "mains" needs something, usually some secret Hedge spell or Kady's fist. Same with Fogg. Brakebills was such a cornerstone for this show, and while the mains left the school (didn't graduate, just left) the institution plays a major role still, as a location if nothing else. Add to that the fact that Penny is a professor there now, and I'd espect to see more of it.

Lastly... the Dark King.

Not to toot my horn or anything, but I'm pretty damn good at predicting turns and plot twists. I can usually spot a villain or antagonist the moment I see them, but that wasn't the case here. Granted, in hindsight I should have seen in with how he was introduced, but I was so stuck on the idea that I "knew" who the Dark King was that I couldn't entertain the possibility that I would be wrong. Though, to be fair, he did have a line about illusion magic, so there's a chance I might still be right. All of that being said, it did feel a little like a cop out. All of our other villains and antagonists have been hinted long before their big reveal, and just having a completely new character shown up and go "Surprise, bitch! I'm the dark king" feels a little off to me. We'll just have to wait and see.

All in all, I'd give this episode a rating of 7.5 out of 10. I know I complained a lot, and that's because, aside from Eliot and Alice's arc, the rest of the episode felt kind of lackluster to me. Here's hoping we pick up the pace the rest of the season.

[lunaraindrop]

Quentin’s Mentor (part 4)

A lot of shit happened quickly to Quentin and his friends.

The Beast was gone.

Just like that.

One minute he was terrorizing people, the next? Eaten by Quentin’s pet plant.

All of that fear and angst an-and scary fucking build-up just…dissolved into nothing. 

Very anticlimactic. 

It left everyone standing dumbstruck, not sure what to do or how to react.

It was a little disconcerting.

Oh, and apparently The Beast, the guy that ripped out Dean Fogg’s eyes, was the psychotic voice in Penny’s head, and was trying to kill him at every turn? Yeah, that was MARTIN FUCKING CHATWIN! Martin Chatwin, one of his childhood heroes, was trying to kill him.

What the hell?!

In all honestly, he was not sure how to react to that. On the one hand, why the hell did Martin Chatwin want him dead? Him! HE wasn’t special by any means, so what gives?

On the other hand…holy-fucking-shit Martin Chatwin, THE Martin Chatwin made it his purpose to kill HIM! Quentin Coldwater! Martin Chatwin was *eaten* alive by HIS pet plant! (Which is ironically named after Martin’s sister. That would make for an interesting feminist philosophy paper.)

…was it weird that he felt a little…in awe about all of this? Maybe even a little special? Like…maybe he wasn’t such a screw up and he was a chosen nemesis to the big bad in a story? Because, well, he kind of was? Like, umm, nobody was exactly sure why Quentin was targeted by Martin fucking Chatwin, but he *was* a target. That’s why Jane (Chatwin, not his cat-like purple and blue Venus fly trap) kept telling him to step off the garden path.

Apparently the garden path took offense. 

It was l-like Treebeard and the Ents in Lord of the Rings! Nature fights back, mmm hmm…bitches.

He was just glad nature was on his side. He was on theirs too.

Case in point, this was why he was running through Queens in the middle of the night, heading for a portal in an alley that would take him to the Addams mansion. 

His arms were crossed across his chest, cradling what was hiding inside his maroon hoodie. Tucked up against his sternum was his poor baby plant, Jane. While she shrank back to her original size after eating The Beast, she turned a sickly green-gray and lost some of her vibrant leaves a few hours later. 

After the first few hours of being saved, he was worried that Jane would get a taste for human flesh. He loved her, but he was not about to go on a killing spree to keep her fed. Maybe. No, definitely not. Maybe rob a morgue…?Anyway, Morticia never warned him of anything like this. She just old him to make sure she was watered, fertilized, and had a steady diet of insects and small mammals.

Nothing was ever mentioned about her growing in size and eating a human whole.  

Those went out the window when she kept gagging (well, as much as a plant can sound like gagging), wilted, and changed into such dull colors.

He was concerned, yes, but he was a little to freaked out (and frankly embarrassed) to go to Morticia Addams for help. He had only had Jane for a couple of months, and now he allowed her to eat people and she was sick? He knew Mortica was…an odd lady, but as his mentor he wanted to impress her. She trusted him with this gift…and now he was letting her down.

He decided to ask for some help on campus. Surely someone would know how to help his magic plant.

That turned out to be a big mistake. Just like Alice, nobody could identify what species she was. 

Then Lipsom dropped the bomb: They wanted to study her. 

As in take her away, cut her open, and find out more about how Martin became The Beast.

Margo was angry and cussed Fogg out for going along with this plan.

Penny, who is usually a dick, actually looked really sad and left the room without comment. Kady followed, but not before giving Jane one mournful stare before sneering at the professors.

Alice…was actually on Lipsom’s side. She tried to sympathetically reasoned that this was a perfect chance to learn what had happened, how to avoid it happening again, and that Jane was really dangerous now.

It was Eliot though that was peculiar. Eliot, who probably loved Jane just as much as he did, was stone-faced the entire time. He didn’t stop or hold Margo back, but he also didn’t speak at all. He hardly moved except to pet at Jane’s drooping little head. He didn’t seem to fear that she could snap off his hand.

Neither did Quentin.

Quentin turned to the Dean. “You know what? No. Fuck you, and fuck that! S-she just saved all of our lives! A-and s-s-s-she’s sick because she did! You don’t touch her! 

Dean Fogg sighed and covered his face with his hand.

“I’m going to assume that that literal death trap came from Morticia Addams to annoy me into an early grave. Your precious ‘Jane’ is obviously poisoned by something to do with eating Martin Chatwin. We need to know what. Normally, a large type of Venus fly trap even remotely close to that size would take a couple of days to digest a small animal. Yours won’t live that long. I estimate that she has maybe ten hours to live. You have five to get me what is left of The Beast’s body, or we’re going in for it.”

They tried to call the mansion, but nobody answered. Luckily Fogg, showing he had some heart (even small) told him of a portal behind a diner that take him as far as the front gate. But he also warned Quentin.

“We don’t know how dangerous your plant is. Keep her out of sight, and away from the public’s eye. It’s not my fault if she eats you too.”

Quentin narrows his eyes and lifted his chin in defiance. “Jane would never hurt me, or anyone else really unless they are bad people. I’ll be fine.” With that he stuck her wilting, quivering body safely into his hoodie, close to his heart.

Just before leaving Brakebills wards, he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Eliot. Still stone-faced, his eyes showed his distress. Intense hazel eyes locked onto his own as he stepped closer. So close their chests almost touched. Breaking eye contact for a few seconds, he leaned down and placed a lingering kiss over the maroon fabric, just grazing her head and landing softly on Q’s heart. He looked back up at Quentin again and tucked his hair back behind his ear.

“These Addames…do you really think they can help her?”

Quentin shrugged, unconsciously leaning closer to Eliot, being careful not to crush the plant. “I-I think, uh, I hope? She did come from a cutting from one of Morticia’s plants, so there’s a good chance she will know how to help Jane. I really hope she knows how to help Jane.” his voice broke at the end. Eliot carefully pulled him close in a warm, one armed hug.

“Okay. Then go take care of our girl, Q.”

Those words echoed through his brain as he made his way up the long drive.

In front of him stood a giant, Gothic house. Something that looked like it belonged in Jane Eyre or Brideshead, Revisited. As he went to look for some type of buzzer, the gate ominously opened…

[messier51]

An Alternative Season 4 Finale for The Magicians

The finale of season 4 left me very confused for a lot of reasons, and I’ve been trying to collate ideas about how I would edit it for a while. Only, it’s so disconnected from most of the season thematically and character-arc-wise that most of it has to get thrown out, not just rearranged or edited, and things have to be fully rewritten. So I’ve taken a lot of ideas from speculation that some of us were talking about prior to the finale to fill those gaps (some spec sources: Charlton Hypothesis, Pandora Eliot , Q x Monster Parallels, Q won’t die).

After chatting with @s-cornelius last night I think I finally got something I think would work to knit together all the plot threads that were unceremoniously chopped off just so that Q would end up dying in a permanent way. This is not necessarily the best way this story could be told, or the only good way of finishing this story, but it’s one that makes sense to me. 

(Also I have no plans to write it up as prose/fic or anything, this was just an exercise in story structure that at some points has dialogue/details where it seemed relevant.) 

cw: major character death, depression, violence, optimistic endings

Stuff prior to 4.13 that changes:

No weird cryptic message from Penny 40 about things leaving when Quentin says to.

Alice, Kady, and Harriet are shown reaching out to magicians and hedges. Mostly this is important for Alice, who is calling people from Fogg’s records and reaching out to magicians through her family (mom, aunt, etc?)

In 4.12, Q and Alice don’t kiss; their conversation goes the exact same though. It’s not about finding the love they lost, it’s about finding the trust and the friendship that the love was based on. --Not that I don’t think that the love triangle/choices thing could work, and I’d be all for watching Quentin and Alice make the wrong choice and learn the hard way, I’m just really pissed that the show used it purely for trauma over Q’s death so I’m nixing this out of SPITE.

The rest of 4.12 goes the same, more or less. Plover gets locked up in the dungeon in Whitespire. The Monsters also don’t find the key scroll to open the door to the realm of the gods, since that didn’t end up mattering anyway and was pretty boring. So they don’t find it and it just makes the Sister angry. (And/or maybe Everett has it.)

Margo stays with Josh, tells Penny she trusts them to bring back Eliot. --This isn’t actually a change but I know it’s not everyone’s favorite plot point; I think it’s interesting for her character growth. 

Scene 1: The Library

Monster!Julia faces Fogg, hears Quentin and Alice--this part is the same, up to when Penny stabs her with the ax. Only, it doesn’t do shit.

She is a God, in an immortal body. Those axes were for magical spirits, not gods.

Monster!Julia brings up a hand about to murder them all (including Fogg, perhaps she’s thrown them all into his cell with him) with a flick of her wrist when Monster!Eliot shows up. And these are his friends--sort of. These are part of why he likes it here, along with Starbucks and cheesy puffs. They’ve been helping him this whole time, even when they don’t get along, and he thought his sister would be anything like that, and she isn’t! So he saves them. He distracts her for long enough that he can teleport them away.

He’s not actually ready to face his sister yet.

Scene 2: Kady and Zelda Get Chemo

Kady meets Zelda for some magical chemotherapy after talking to Penny 23. They argue about Everett. Zelda wants to believe in him, still, after everything. It would fix the Monster problem, too.

Scene 3: The Secret Sea, Fillory

Fogg, Josh, and Fen stand in front of an empty sea. Fogg and Josh were going to power up to help, and bring back more magic-water for everyone.

Scene 4: Julia’s Happy Place

Meanwhile, we see Julia find a door in a memory and fight her way out. She’s more used to accessing god powers, she knows the shape of them, so she uses the Monster’s Sister’s powers to teleport herself.

Scene 5: Physical Kids Cottage

Alice, Penny, Margo, and Quentin are arguing about whether or not they can trust the Monster and what they should even do next if the axes don’t work while the Monster lounges around on the couch, kinda bored.

Alice gets a call from Kady “Sorry, we’re kind of in the middle of something--yeah, do it without me. The plan will work. You have everything you need, just let me know and we’ll help.

Quentin is actually really quiet too. Both of his best friends are possessed and they have no way to help either one of them. He’s watching the Monster.

“Why are you all the sudden on our side?” The Monster shrugs. “We’re friends.” Quentin shakes his head. “We’re not friends. Eliot is our friend. You’re still holding him hostage.” The Monster shrugs, “So I’ll give him back. But--I don’t know how to leave without killing him. Sor~ry.”

Suddenly, Julia shows up in the middle of the apartment and summons the Binder. Everyone is too stunned to do much but watch, and they don’t realize it’s Julia at first.

Julia tells the Binder: "You can turn us both human right?” And he starts expositioning, and she says “Yes or no?” “The Binder can do it.” “So do it. NOW.” 

She looks at the others and says, “I don’t know how much longer I can hold her but this will make us vulnerable. The axes should work.”

As the Binder finishes, the Monster’s sister regains control of Julia’s body. She looks at the Monster, says, “Brother, what are you doing here?”

He flinches away from her. “I like it here!” She walks towards him, and Margo sinks her axes into Julia.

Alice and Quentin do the spell to hold her in the bottle and run out of magic, same as before. It won’t hold her forever.

Julia suffers mortal injuries, because she chose humanity, and it was HER CHOICE but it has consequences. But it saves her friends.

Penny teleports her to the infirmary and the rest of them follow.

Scene 6: Hedge Terrorism -- Kady’s Apartment

Kady, Lovelady!Pete, and Dean Fogg are putting the last pieces of Alice and Kady’s plan to bust the magic pipeline into place. They’re going to use cooperative magic to do it. Alice, with her mom’s help has gotten a bunch of magicians in on the plan, and Fogg is calling Brakebills alumni.

Fogg is here to remind them that they need to do this NOW so that they have a backup because Alice and Quentin were leaking magic by the minute and if it takes them too long to seal the Monsters, with no more secret sea to rejuice themselves they will fail. This is the backup plan.

Kady also has a secondary searching spell running through Alice’s map book, looking for something. (Fogg asks her what, she dismisses it as unimportant.)

Scene 7: Brakebills Infirmary

Julia is dead.

Margo refuses to do that to Eliot--the Monster is marginally on their side, and not as strong as his sister and she won’t risk Eliot’s life.

But since he's on their side now, Alice has an idea. If he's amenable, she can try to recreate the prism spell from 4.10, because it split her into different aspects of herself. It should split Eliot along the most obvious aspects--the actual, different people in his head.

She isn't sure it would work, but The Monster is actually really interested in this idea, because his head is a mess, and it hurts no matter how much alcohol or drugs or cheesy puffs he consumes, and he still can’t remember anything, but it hurts and it’s not actually his. If he had his own body, if it was just him in his head, maybe it would clear things up.

Quentin is in full breakdown. This is part of why Alice is willing to try anything. Penny is grieving, Margo is angry, Alice is trying to work things out. Quentin is just, gone. He’s sitting in a chair next to Julia’s bed, and he’s staring into nothing. His best friend just died, right in front of him. Two of the most important people to him have been god-powered monsters for the past few days. He’s not okay, and he isn’t reacting correctly to anything, but this is all just. Too much. Fillory is real but it doesn’t mean anything. This is real but it doesn’t feel real.

Scene 8: Brakebills Lab

Alice scribbles out a few notes and then sets up the prism & mirrors contraption to do the spell. She makes Margo and Quentin wait outside. She looks really worried at Quentin.

Margo confronts Quentin. “Okay we need to talk about this. Listen. I know this is a hard thing, But we’re not done yet, and we need you. Quentin, I can’t do this alone. Eliot is not okay yet, and I can’t lose you too. Quentin, look at me. I need you here. Eliot needs you here.” That finally gets through to him. He looks at her. “I can’t.”

“You don’t have a choice.” He stands up. “It doesn’t matter. I thought we could save Eliot by finding the organs, and that didn’t work. It just ended up getting Julia possessed, and now she’s dead, and it’s my fault. And then we thought the axes would work. Only they didn’t, and that’s part of the reason that she’s dead, too. We did this, Margo. You and me. And now we’re leaving that monster in a room with Alice. With another stupid idea, just hoping that nothing will go wrong this time. But something always goes wrong, and it doesn’t matter. It’s all bullshit. I can’t get Eliot back. I’ll never get Julia back. They’re gone Margo. And I can’t do anything about it.”

“Can’t? Or won’t. You’re hurting, I get that--” “I’m not hurting, Margo, I’m broken. Haven’t you heard?” “No. I did hear. You’ve been tortured by Eliot’s evil stunt double for weeks and you haven’t been sleeping or eating. Of course you feel like shit.”

And then there is screaming and the doors fly open and hundreds of horrifying monsters stream out of them.

[This is totally a commercial break moment js]

When that stops Margo and Quentin look into the lab where Alice is holding off a pair of the scary creatures from advancing on Eliot or the other prone figure on the floor.

Margo runs at them with her axes. This gives Alice time to get off a more powerful spell that sends one of them running. She tries to do it again but she’s used up all the ambient magic.

Quentin is on the floor next to Eliot before he realizes he’s moved. He’s hesitant to touch, not sure if it’s Eliot or the monster, not sure if he’s still alive. He takes a deep breath and checks. There’s a pulse. The other person on the floor sits up slowly and says, “Wow, my headache finally went away. Everything else hurts though. Fuck.”

Margo brandishing her axes (though she drops one of them) and Alice wielding a chair that she picked up chase off the remaining creatures. “Where the FUCK did those come from?” Margo asks. “I don’t know. They were in… I don’t know.”

Charlton stands up and says, “They were in my head. I’m sorry, I kind of know you, but I don’t think you know me. I’m Charlton.” Alice squints at him. “You’re the monster. You were at Blackspire.” “Yes, that was me. Part of me, at least. Living stone has some terrible side effects.”

Margo joins Q on the floor by Eliot. She uses the same speech about lights and grandma from the forest in 4.13. He wakes up, but he’s still in bad shape. “Oh! Eliot!” Charlton says, clearly happy to see him again.

The jar full of Sister is starting to rattle around a lot on the floor next to Quentin though. Charlton is like “I can do something about that.” And he uncorks the bottle and chugs it. And promptly falls back on his ass.

Scene 9: Kady’s Apartment

Kady’s locator spell blinks to life. Fogg looks at her. “I found Everett. I’m going to stop him. Pete how are we looking?” Pete looks up from his phone and says, “Go, we got this.”

Kady hoists the map book and calls Penny and says "Hey you said you'd be there for me, so NOW would be good." He’s still in the infirmary at Brakebills. "Not really a good time." She responds; "Now is the only time that matters." He sighs, but he’s standing in front of her before she hangs up.

She shows him the map, he raises an eyebrow, and teleports them away.

Scene 10: Brakebills Lab

Alice’s phone buzzes and she starts responding to a text message.

Charlton is sitting on the floor next to Quentin. He’s doubled over his stomach and he’s in pain. Margo is fussing over Eliot and Q is watching, from the sidelines, where he belongs. Charlton grits out, “Quentin, I’m sorry.” Quentin doesn’t care. Or at least, he thinks he doesn’t. It’s hard to tell right now. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t care. Can you just, go away and not hurt people anymore?”

“You’re right. Aaahhh. Yeah. As soon as I can feel my toes again. But I feel bad--” “Just shut up.” “Okay. Right.”

Everett walks into the room, with Zelda beside him. He does his “Hand over the monster” bad guy speech. While everyone is pretty much frozen and not ready for him.

While he’s talking, Kady and Penny show up in the hallway right behind him. Everett doesn’t notice them there, but Zelda does. She doesn’t say anything.

Everyone is watching Everett, who is glitchy and super juiced up, but the only people with any power in the room are Everett and Charlton--there’s no ambient left. But Charlton doesn’t want to fight, and he’s still in pain on the floor next to Q.

Alice’s phone buzzes again and she almost drops it. Everett just laughs at her.

Everett walks over to Charlton and hoists him up by the front of his shirt. He materializes a magical knife in his other hand.

Quentin Coldwater The Brave And Stupid lunges for the knife, and gets tossed across the room for his effort.

And then the pipes explode.

And then in the midst of this distraction, and with the ambient magic flooding back into the air, Kady casts a pretty vicious battle magic spell. Only, Everett notices that she’s doing it, and he ducks. And now all of his focus is on her. He sets Charlton on the ground but doesn’t let go of him and walks towards Kady.

She casts a few more spells at him and he doesn’t even bother to duck, they bounce right off of him.

“Fuck.”

He raises a hand with two fingers to begin a gesture that will end with Kady’s neck snapped, but before he can finish it, one of Margo’s axes is sticking out of his chest.

It’s the one that Margo dropped during the fight. Zelda picked it up.

Everett explodes in a violent magical flood. Zelda gets caught up in it and she’s thrown into something really really hard.

Everyone else just gets soaked in magic, but they’re mostly okay. Charlton isn’t much fussed, he’s starting to feel a lot better now.

Kady holds Zelda in her arms as she stops breathing on the floor of the Lab.  

Final Scenes:

Kady and Alice, with Sheila and Harriet, standing in the mess of the Library, talking about the future of magic and information.

Zelda in the elevator. She apologizes to Penny, because she could have saved him, and she didn’t. They both get something out of it. She tells him how amazing Kady is.

Quentin walks out of a pharmacy with a prescription bottle. Eliot is waiting outside for him. He’s got a cane, he’s still in lousy shape. Q shakes the bottle at him. “Antidepressants.” Eliot smiles at him, then frowns. “You’re worried.” “What if I start taking them and I can’t do magic anymore.” “And they kick you out of Brakebills and wipe your memory?” Quentin rolls his eyes. “What was it I promised you before? I’ll find you, and seduce you. Make your life magical. Medication isn’t going to make your magic go away, though, Q. If it did, so would a lot of other things.” “Then why did Fogg make me throw away my pills when I started at Brakebills?” “Because he’s an asshole who knew what buttons to push after trying it 40 times. I don’t know, but I know you’re allowed to fix things sometimes. They don’t have to stay broken.” “Margo told you?” “Repair of small objects.” “It’s too bad mental health isn’t a small thing.” Eliot stops walking.  “Okay, my turn to be brave.” “You want to go see a psychologist too?” “No, Q. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m sorry I told you I didn’t, I was wrong.” “Eliot?” Eliot kisses Quentin softly. Quentin presses himself into Eliot to return it, deeper. Some asshole on the street wolf whistles at them -- strictly speaking they don’t need to kiss or make up yet but I’m in charge now and I’m spiteful. 

Penny and Margo are in Fillory. “Are you sure this won’t just remind you of her more?” “I don’t know, but I had to leave.” “Okay then. Woah, what the fuuuuck?” -- the 300 years later thing could work here, but an imbalance caused by too much magic and then too little stored under Fillory could cause plenty of more interesting problems.

Horrifying monsters feasting on human bones like something out of a horror movie.

Julia, on slab of stone in the basement of Brakebills, opens her eyes and they're glowing golden.

[inawickedlittletown]

The Magicians - Book

I just finished reading The Magicians by Lev Grossman. I really really loved this book and I don’t think I actually expected to because the show is just so good. 

I will admit that I started reading this book when I also started watching the show. I finished Season 4 of the show a few days ago and only just finished book one now and I love both as different entities that they are. 

Under the cut for spoilers. 

So the book. The first half of the book is a lot like the show in more ways than I expected other than that the book makes it more clear that years are passing and we actually get to see Quentin and friends graduate. The Fillory adventure doesn’t happen until they’ve been out of school for a while and to add to that the quest they go on is weirdly realistic in terms of how unprepared they are despite being Magicians. And while there are many similarities all over the place with Season 1, the book is very much it’s own thing. 

The book is very much a coming of age story. It borrows heavily from Narnia and yet twists that into something darker and more interesting. The idea of magic school obviously has some conotations of Harry Potter and all of that is fine because by being aware of that, it informs how the book is read and I can see why it's called the adult Harry Potter. It shines in that it is a realistic take on magic and on the consequences that it can have and it doesn't shy away from showing that just like real life, fantasy can have flaws. Quentin is depressed and listless and his coping mechanism is the Fillory and More books and when it turns out that he can do magic that changes his world and yet it doesn’t thrust him into a different land or world where he can actually do anything with those powers past learn how to use them which in a way makes the whole thing pointless and yet that's exactly what the book is pointing out. We get to see Quentin have the typical college life and after he’s done with school, he really does nothing except to hang out with his friends and get drunk and high. Until Fillory turns out to be real and that changes things. But going to Fillory and going on a quest is nothing like what he could have expected and the reality is that he and his friends are not prepared to face that but somehow they do and there are concequences to that. The book does so well at establishing interesting and relatable and broken characters. It deals with an adult take on what it would be like if a fantasy world were real and what that would actually be like especially taking into account the difficult and often complex relationships that adults have with both friends and lovers.

Quentin and Alice’s relationship was so interesting to read especially since there’s build up towards it and then they’re just steady and together and yet as soon as they are out of school in the real world the cracks start to appear and I think that it’s so realistic because a change as drastic as leaving school and trying to figure out life can lead to break ups. But instead Quentin cheats on Alice and I almost was not expecting the book to contain this happening with Eliot and Janet (the book’s version of Margo). But I also found it interesting that both Quentin and Alice are stuck on the Janet of it all and that Quentin won’t even allow himself to think about Eliot’s involvement. But I just loved the intricacy of this and then Alice sleeping with Penny and how all of this is in some ways brought into the quest they later go on. 

In general I thought it was well written book and that it had a strong arc and strong world building, in particular the magic system. And it ends on such an interesting note that I have to get book 2 asap. 

My experience has been interesting because I read the book while watching the show and oddly enough with this one I think I do enjoy the show more perhaps because it’s deeper and more magical and because the show doesn’t really focus on how depressed Quentin is. I’m curious to read the rest of the books to see how much they differ. 

[amazonpoodle]

all right it’s my turn to express my feelings about the magicians finale

what had happened was, the week of the finale was NOT A GOOD WEEK for me to watch something that would upset me that much, so on the recommendation of multiple friends i had people spoil me for the episode, for mental health reasons. i’ve read a bunch of meta and yelled in public and in private, and finally actually watched the episode this past saturday.

in conclusion, i think the thing that plain frustrates me the most is that THERE WERE GOOD BITS! there were really interesting lovely bits! which were almost completely mangled by the egregiously bad bits!

i don’t know if i have anything to say that you haven’t already read or heard from other people who are more active in the fandom, possibly more eloquent, and probably used capital letters, but here we are!!! oh well!!! 

okay first i don’t even know what the fuck to say about julia. every! single! season! so far! has involved depriving her of a REALLY MAJOR CHOICE about her life or her magic or her autonomy or her fucking BODY like! what! why! 

i am not clear on why we couldn’t just WAKE HER UP and ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTED, so like -- if the show explained that they didn’t explain it well enough, and if they didn’t FUCK THEM tbh.

second, one of my most significant grievances with the show as a whole is I DON’T CARE ABOUT JOSH HOBERMAN. i don’t!!! care!!! to me he is everything i hated about dawn summers and jonathan levinson COMBINED into one boring gary stu, like. what the fuck is josh/margo? why am i HERE? sure, people of disparate hotnesses can hook up and fall in love, but i know whose fantasy josh/margo is and it’s for sure not margo’s. anyway, now i’m mainly just mad at JOSH THE FISH for sidelining margo in the previous episode. although her eye does just keep getting awesomer and awesomer.

now, the real meat of the thing. the death of q. i’m gonna say something, and you might not like it, and we’ll all just have to figure out how to handle that:

out of context, I’M NOT MAD ABOUT QUENTIN’S DEATH.

like... if the whole thing had been done right? if jason’s exit from the show hadn’t been a secret for no fucking reason? if time and consideration had been given to multiple quentin storylines in a way that made sense? i would be okay with how quentin died. (not what came after. i’ll get to that.)

i kind of have the feeling that all the people involved in writing q’s death were just. trying to recreate buffy’s death from the s5 finale but like, newer and shinier? and hey, i grew up in buffy fandom, the gift was DEVASTATING and beautiful and SHOCKING, i’m not mad that someone would want to create something like that!

and credit where it’s due -- the moment of quentin’s death was, imho, really, really lovely. like. understated, in the eerie quiet greyscale of the mirror world. q didn’t yell, he spoke, quietly, “minor mending” -- the subtle color of the seam within the mirror, the light healing the cobwebbed cracks in the glass, the shower of sparks, just. it was a lot. visually i thought it was incredibly moving and effective. it for sure made me cry. and i don’t know exactly what i was expecting, but. IGNORING THE STUFF THAT CAME AFTER, quentin’s death did not read, to me, as a(n excuse for) suicide or a waste. it seemed, to me, to be brave and sad and necessary. 

storywise -- and again, for now, putting a pin in the crap that came after -- quentin’s death would have been WAY! MORE! IMPACTFUL! if we’d gotten any goddamn lead-up about his discipline. it was BAD WRITING to make us wait until mid-s4 to tell us what his discipline was. it was BAD WRITING to only let us see him mend, in that particular way, one (1) model airplane and one (1) mug. like???? HELLO???? WHAT???? in a just world, the showrunners would have been laying the groundwork for q’s discipline reveal since, like, the start of s3. they should have shown him repairing things, regularly, ALL ALONG, and everybody thinking it’s no big deal. FIFTY YEARS IN FILLORY, he never had to fix a broken window or re-hang a door or darn a sock? the revelation of “repair of small objects” should have felt like an explosion of OF FUCKING COURSE. we should have been able to spend time with quentin while he came to grips with how small that felt to him, we should have gotten to see him looking for things to repair, to practice, on purpose! we should have gotten to see him attempt to mend something that was too big for him! 

and the biggest thing of all, that makes me tear the fuck up every time i think about it too hard, is that REPAIR OF SMALL OBJECTS or MINOR MENDING is honestly the most exquisite, most appropriate discipline for someone suffering from significant depression and anxiety. SPEAKING AS A PERSON WHO’S BEEN DEALING WITH DEPRESSION FOR TWENTY-FIVE YEARS, OKAY, dealing with mental illness is best done in small steps, with small gestures, with small requests for help. you can’t fix your entire life in one fell heroic swoop. trying to do all the things at once, perfectly, without getting messy, without dealing with little details, is a fucking TRAP. it can’t be done. that’s not how you live. you’re never DONE.

it makes 100% perfect sense that quentin coldwater, who has always wanted to be a hero, keeps learning, over and over again, that sometimes (usually!) his role is SUPPORT. to get someone else to the finish line. THE HARDEST THING IN THIS WORLD IS TO LIVE IN IT. minor!!! mending!!!

fuck.

okay.

now we address quentin AFTER his death. we stuck a pin in it, let’s take it out so we can really SCREAM, eh?

sigh. i’m not mad that quentin asked the question. “what did i do? did i finally find a way to kill myself?” like. you’ve been dealing with suicidal ideation all your life, you’re allowed to wonder, honey! that’s okay!

WHAT PISSES ME OFF IS THE ANSWER. or the non-answer. whatever. this whole thing was handled so goddamn hamfistedly, like. again -- why. also -- and perhaps this is nitpicky of me, but -- this is the office of secrets taken to the grave, right? this isn’t the time for quentin to ask questions or get answers himself, it’s time for him to answer them! to confess things he hasn’t told anybody! penny-40, i love you the best, but i feel like you’re not doing your job!

other people have said more about this than i will, more thoughtfully, but basically i thought quentin watching his own funeral was bullshit. the whole thing sucked. the only part that didn’t suck was eliot and alice holding hands. oh, and julia’s revelation afterward. why should it be more meaningful to watch people mourn you than to have people tell you, to your face, when you’re alive, that you are loved and important and interesting and life-changing?

let’s fucking avoid fantasizing how appreciated we’ll be when we’re gone, shall we? that’s really the main thing. 

i’m running out of steam, clearly. that was mostly everything. i also agree with the people who’ve said that, in retrospect, the writers thought that escape from the happy place was a story JUST about eliot, not about eliot AND QUENTIN. the writers were wrong! they didn’t know what story they were telling! but that perspective explains a LOT.

i don’t really know what i’m going to do next season. probably i’m not going to watch? i truly didn’t realize how serious my depressed bisexual disaster self had imprinted on depressed bisexual disaster quentin coldwater until. you know. they killed him. but i am interested in the fix-its -- and imho this finale (this whole season) lends itself very easily to being fixed. so i think, despite the fuckery of canon, i’m not done with the fandom.

if you’ve read this far thanks for sticking around this long??? er. that’s all.

[the-funeral-party]

Why TV Qualice doesn’t work anymore

So it’s been years since I’ve read the books (so please bear with my rusty memory), but there were some things I appreciated and some things I disliked about Alice and Quentin’s relationship.  

For the dislike?  Obviously the early parts of their relationship were a disaster.  And that was partly because they were disasters (especially Quentin).  There were times when Quentin’s persistence to repair things with Alice would actually drive me nuts.  A lot of it was premature - he hadn’t done enough to change himself and grow, he hadn’t allowed time for healing or friendship.  Though to be fair, Alice was closed off and uninterested in repairing that friendship.  And who could blame her?  It was evident that Quentin just single-mindedly wanted her back.  He didn’t fully see her as a person.

But this was all important points to the plot and the deconstruction of the fantasy narrative.  Which brings us to the like.  While Qualice is endgame, we don’t actually get them back together in a relationship at the end of the books.  It’s something hopeful and far off in the future, because right now they are finally going to do the hard work of repairing their friendship and getting to know each other again - seeing each other as people with full and complex inner lives.  And Alice herself has a lot of healing to do after coming back from being a niffin.  It’s not an easy ending, though it is technically a happy one, and it subverts the trope of “guy winning girl as prize”.

But the books have some differences from the tv show.  For one thing, there’s a sort of role reversal with Alice and Quentin on the show.  Alice has become the one single-mindedly determined to get Quentin back, while Quentin is the one that’s rebuffed any attempts at friendship.  Quentin also has a serious competing love interest in Eliot, whereas in the books he’s never really in any serious relationship that could compete with his love for Alice (and part of this is because she spends so much time as his “lost love” that he doesn’t rescue from being a niffin until close to the end).  And while Quentin needed to go through major character growth in the books, far more than Alice did (though she needed some as well, of course), in the tv show, Quentin essentially gets 50 years of maturity (and a healthy relationship) downloaded straight into his brain.  Alice is currently way behind in terms of growth and healing.

And this is where I get frustrated with the thought of Qualice anytime soon, or at all.

I like Alice and even relate to her at times (I was the kid the teacher always called on to demonstrate too), but I get frustrated that she doesn’t have much of a life outside of her relationship to Quentin sometimes.   It really seemed like Alice was trying with Modesto… but then it blew up in her face when Sheila joined the librarians.  Modesto was her chance to find purpose and happiness outside of a romance.  And honestly, that’s still what Alice needs.  She needs to become her own person outside of Quentin.  Even if I wasn’t a Queliot shipper, I would NOT want Alice back with Quentin in her current state.  It would be such a terrible, co-dependent mess.  And I cannot for the life of me see why Quentin, even if at a low point, would want that toxic mess when he now has the maturity and “life experience” to know better.  Alice is not in a position to pursue a healthy relationship right now - full stop.

(The only thing that worries me is “tv show contrivance”.  In the real world we have billions of people to choose from, but in tv shows we often see writers just shuffle the main characters between each other rather than add in a new, permanent love interest.  Not that Alice doesn’t have some wonderful choices besides Quentin, but we’ll be lucky enough to get one lgbtq endgame, let alone two.  Or perhaps that’s just my cynical side coming out.)

Going back to actual character analysis... It would literally be stupid to not pursue Queliot at this point, even besides meta analysis of how the arc has been building and its need for resolution.  Eliot and Quentin had a stable, healthy relationship that lasted their entire lives.  They were able to grow together in a positive way.  We also know that they both still want that relationship.  But even if something happened that caused them to not get back together?  It still wouldn’t justify getting Quentin and Alice back together.  It would ignore Quentin’s growth and Alice’s need for growth.  It would ignore the hurt they had caused each other.  It would ignore that the two of them are now in very different places in their lives, having drifted far from the people they were when they had their original relationship.  And it would be treating her character as a 2 dimensional love interest.

If Alice were someone I knew in real life, I would give her this advice -  I’ve been in shitty relationships in my youth.   I’ve been in that position where the one person I felt a true connection to (in that point in my life) cheated on me.  I’ve been there more than once.  I had moments of weakness where I wanted them back.  But holy hell, the best thing I ever did was move the fuck on.

Alice and Quentin had a pretty typical college relationship, based heavily on sex and proximity and the allure of having something in common.  That’s not something that can be recaptured.  What, as adults, do they bring to the table for each other?  Do they share common goals?  Will they grow in the same direction or grow further apart?  Are they whole individuals with independent lives and interests who can function as equal partners?  I’m just not seeing anything of this.  Alice is still extricating herself from needing Quentin’s approval and relying on him as a moral compass.  She still hasn’t finished developing an independent life.  She’s feeling quite lost.  Quentin, on the other hand, seems ready to settle down and plan towards having a family again.  He’s in a fairly stable position (monster shenanigans aside) with clear goals.  If they didn’t have a past together, nothing would make sense about the idea of them pursuing each other.

As it stands, I would really like to see Alice continue to find herself and become whole before pursuing a relationship with anyone.  And I would like for her and Quentin to become friends, which would help their friends group to further warm back up to her (because it really doesn’t help that she’s pretty much been isolated, with mostly just Quentin “putting up with her”... and omg what kind of masochist continues to pursue a guy who’s being that cold to them??).  And eventually, once she’s ready, I’d like to see her pursue a new and healthy relationship instead of trying to force something old and broken to rekindle.  Because frankly, the way the show has changed the timeline and characters had significant impact to the point that I don’t think it can realistically give us the same ending as the book.

[themagiciansreccenter]

Five @ Five @high-queen-margo

As a part of our author spotlight, we’ve asked each writer to highlight 5 fics and tell us a little about their experience writing (or reading) them.

Just To Bring You Home

“Can you go make sure the horses are ready?” Margo said. “The regular ones. We don’t ride the ones who can talk—not on business, anyway.”

“Riding?” Kady said. “As in, out in the open, where you got attacked last time?”

“You’re my bodyguard, not my mother,” Margo said. “Do your job and it should be fine, right?”

Kady sighed. “Fine,” she said. “Then we’re taking a different route than you did before.”

“Whatever. There are a billion of them,” Margo said. She drew one of the scrolls out of the sack and handed it to Kady. “Here’s a map. Take your pick.”

Kady unrolled the map and studied it while Margo fastened a plain black cloak over her dress. It was hard to tell which paths would be best, but she settled on one arcing in the opposite direction from the main road.

Margo’s horse, which Kady didn’t even know she had, was a dapple gray Andalusian mare with an impossibly long mane and tail. She swung up into the saddle with surprisingly practiced ease, and it struck Kady how comfortable Margo was in this world. It was no longer the fantasy world of a children’s book; it was Margo’s world, literally, and it was no wonder she came back here after her best friend died. Kady wondered how long she would have to live here before she considered it home, too.

This is a BattleKing bodyguard near-future AU. I didn't realize until early season 4 that Kady had only been to Fillory once on-screen, and I wanted to explore how she would adapt to living there with someone who knew Fillory and loved it despite its problems. It was challenging to write something focused on two such strong personalities, but it was also very interesting to figure out where they clashed, where they related to one another, and how they'd grow to love each other.

Echoes

“Janet—”

“It’s Margo, actually.”

Sam reached out and squeezed Margo’s shoulder. “Margo,” she said. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

Margo stared up at her, at the face both familiar and unfamiliar, and she could tell Sam meant it. Maybe Kady wouldn’t have, had she been herself and had she known who Margo really was—they never had gotten along particularly well—but Sam wanted nothing more in that moment than to soothe her. Tears prickled in Margo’s eyes.

“They’re my friends,” she whispered. “And yours. Quentin, Julia…Eliot. And they’re missing. They aren’t supposed to be missing.”

Sam brushed Margo’s hair away from her face and gently moved her thumb over her cheek to wipe a tear away. “We were—are—pretty close, aren’t we? All of us?”

Some of us, Margo thought, but she nodded. There was no point in telling the truth and driving her away when her real memories would do it soon enough. Sam slid her hands down Margo’s arms and took her hands in her own, and Margo tried to see through Sam’s face to Kady’s. They looked similar in a way: the strong jawline, the sharp eyes. She could even imagine the words in Kady’s voice. Maybe this is what Kady would have been like if she’d had a better life, and maybe Janet was what Margo would have been like if she’d had one herself.

This was so fun to write it only took me one day, which is pretty rare for me! I wrote it right after the season 4 premiere, running with the idea that Margo could get her glamour taken down in Fillory before everyone else. I was really intrigued by the physicality between Janet and Sam, so I wrote it as a BattleKing fic, but it's more about them dealing with the aftermath of their false identities. I definitely saw Kady as someone who wouldn't let hers go, so I leaned into that, and it feels pretty cool after 407 to know she didn't let it go in canon either! 

So Far From Where I Want To Be

When Margo showed up at school the next week under a thick layer of obsessively-refined makeup and the shortest, tightest dress she could get away with, nobody recognized her except by the mannerisms of her daemon who, despite taking the form of a regal tiger, cowered behind her legs as she strode along on the new high heels her mother had bought her over the summer.

It felt good. The head turning, the staring, the wolf-whistling. It meant she was doing something right. (She tried to ignore Alistair whispering to her that it wasn’t what they needed.)

Chris Gabriel, senior class homecoming king and every girl’s dream, took her in the stairwell between classes, saying “I’ve never seen a freshman look so good” and “let me see what you can do with that pretty mouth of yours” and “I won’t even deny it if you wanna tell everyone you got to ride on me.”

No thank you was what Margo wanted to say, but she caught herself. This was an opportunity almost no one else in the school would be given, and if anyone found out she refused, she’d never hear the end of it. And anyway, wasn’t this what girls were supposed to want? (She tried to ignore Alistair’s quiet pleas to leave as Chris’ daemon nipped at him and backed him into a corner, just out of Margo’s reach.)

This is a daemon AU and the secret Margo tells Eliot in the Trials. (Daemons, for anyone who doesn't know, are the animal-shaped manifestations of people's souls. They can change shape until the person reaches maturity, then they settle on the animal that best represents them.) It was extremely taxing to write, emotionally, and I had to keep taking breaks to cry, but I think it turned out pretty well considering it was my first fic for the show.

A Terribly Real Thing by @ourladyontheotherside

Shuffling sheets, shuffling bodies, the lights go out and Kady finds herself on her back, staring at the ceiling. Margo’s breathing is calm, steadying. Kady wonders if Margo ever had any doubts about her actions or if she’s always gone through life being sure of herself. Then it dawns on her that Margo spent the whole day with the monster. She helped that thing kill a god.

Turns to her side and looks at the back of Margo’s head, reaches out to touch her arm, says, “Margo?”

“Hmm?” Comes the reply, Margo turning over to look her in the eye while she speaks.

“We’ll get Eliot back.” Kady says.

Her chin shakes, her head nods. She takes Kady’s hand and holds it tight, breathes deeply. Kady can see the words behind her eyes that she doesn’t say, the fear, the hope, the desire to trust that what Kady says is true even if she doubts it. She’s never seen Margo this vulnerable, never seen her crack even just a little.

Moves closer and pulls Margo into her arms. Cradles her. Margo’s arm wraps around her side, grips the fabric of her shirt, buries her face in Kady’s chest. Kady wonders if it wouldn’t be awful to fight for one more person.

That maybe Margo’s been fighting too long. Maybe they all have.

This fic. Is so beautiful. I was already up in my BattleKing feelings because I found it right after I posted "Just to Bring You Home" and it made me so emotional I couldn't even articulate what I was feeling in a comment! The author caught so much of the kinship and intimacy and nuance I see between Margo and Kady and really brought their caring natures to light. Definitely one of my favorite fics I've ever read!

and then there were none by @lesbianmxgicians

Marina looked down at the scotch glass in her hand, squeezing her fingers around it. She turned around, launching it at the wall. It shattered loudly, glass shards flying back and falling onto the floor. A sob wracked her body. Slowly, Marina fell to her knees in the shards of glass.

That was two weeks ago. Today, Marina sat at the chipped, old piano that sat in the warehouse with her. In the midst of an industrial eyesore, it was the only relatively pretty and personal thing. Julia liked playing it.

Marina's fingers were clumsier than hers. She'd never learned to play, but Julia had taught her a little. Now, as she waited for her wards to fail and him to find her, she pressed down on the keys in the pattern she'd memorized.

Marina was ready to die. She never thought that would happen, honestly. There was always going to be magic and power in the world to control, knowledge to gain. Julia's death had done it for her. Marina figured that next time, if there was a next time, she'd try not to get so attached to people. Feelings; wretched things, really.

Not gonna lie, I cried more than I probably should have reading this fic. I have a weird soft spot for Marina/Julia and this really punched me in it. I love the idea of them having this normal thing they do in the apocalypse, just making music, just the same song over and over again, and then...Marina's alone. I love the little detail of the Beast finding her when she plays the wrong note on Julia's part so much! What a wonderful little fic.

[maliro-t]

Today’s totally unsolicited magicians thoughts are about Alice, whose writing I really constantly am ‘AND ANOTHER THING’-ing myself about, but specifically about how she was translated from the books because I have some. hm very complicated and mixed feelings about it, and honestly, a lot that I just really can’t figure out.

Because, in some ways, I feel like she’s a stronger character in the show (I think pretty much all of the main cast is to some extent, but part of that is because it takes a more ensemble approach than the book)- I think she has a much more clearly defined personality, and we get a better look into her personal motivations.

A major difference between book and show that I find interesting is that on the show, is that there’s the implication in season one that Alice really…couldn’t care less about magic at all.* She’s only at Brakebills to find out what happened to Charlie, that’s it. In the books, that implication really isn’t there are all. Her discovery of what happened to her brother is actually passive- she isn’t actively investigating it, as far as we see; she figures it out listening to Janet (Margo) tell the Emily Greenstreet story. 

Anyways, the point is, this requires a pretty dramatic personality change. She’s significantly more cynical and not at all interested in interpersonal relationships, to the point where she’s intentionally antagonistic. There are some things I like there! I like seeing a woman who can be unbelievably arrogant but also insecure, and wrong about things, and vindictive at times. Of course, she has a softness too, which we see for example at the Plover house, or in her season 4 search for redemption, which I really love as well. 

I really think there’s good groundwork there- Alice to me is a character that has so much potential but is woefully misused and underdeveloped. Making her so immediately and thoroughly closed off doesn’t allow for her to create really any of the relationships that she has in the books. Like, “The Physical Kids” as an entity never totally gets to exist, because no parties are very interested in becoming friends. Alice immediately shuts Margo down**, and the only thing we ever get with Eliot is a Single scene of them trying to be friends.

In fact, she never really even gets to be friends with Quentin, certainly not like she does in the books. Like, there’s no Alice quietly laughing at Quentin thinking he was in Fillory after arriving at Brakebills because she used to love those books. There’s no Alice and Q and Penny (and, eventually, not Penny) bonding first year as a study unit.  Something I was really struck by reading the books is how many of the scenes and lines that exist explicitly to make Q and Alice friends (and eventually together) are taken away from her, usually given to Margo. For example, Alice telling Quentin that the thing that makes him special is that he actually believes in magic is no longer the conversation they have to cement their relationship, it’s the speech that Margo gives to him right before he cheats on her ***. They totally remove their opportunity to create, you know, an actual healthy relationship between Alice and Q, even if it eventually (very dramatically) falls apart. 

The scene I was thinking about tonight that got me started on this is one of my least favorite scenes in the show (and certainly my least favorite book to show translation)-The one after Brakebills South where Alice asks him if he’s in love with her. The show version of this is. Insane to me. Show Quentin has decided ‘we are dating now’, Show Alice isn’t convinced, so she drops the question, not because she cares about the answer, but to make a point about how what he says doesn’t actually matter because they’re both insane right now, and overall they both come out completely not on the same page and looking incredibly naive (which I guess makes some sort of sense, since again, the writers didn’t make them friends). In the book, it’s Alice testing the waters, not intentionally creating discomfort. When Quentin replies “I don’t know” her answer is “I didn’t think so. I was more wondering whether you would lie about it.”. Like!! Clear communication of intent and like, an actual relationship! Wonderful! I just legitimately don’t understand why they would get rid of and modify beyond recognition the scenes that actually make up the romance, and then decide to include it anyways. 

It’s frustrating to me because, again I really do feel that the groundwork they laid for her as a character on the show is stronger, but they almost never use it. Season 2 is the worst to her imo, since she doesn’t exist outside of Quentin, both narratively and like, literally, which gave the writers ample time to forget about any other relationship she had and thoroughly isolates her for the rest of the show.

* This carries through the show to an extent, but I also think gets. very confused at points, especially in season 3, because the writers can’t decide whether she loves magic or hates it. That could have been a very interesting thing to explore and the intention probably was for that to be her sort of inner conflict but honestly I think it was executed poorly and becomes pretty messy and confusing, which is frustrating since the rest of s3 is so well done imo. Tbqh I think the best writing they ever did for her was in season 4 leading up to and through Modesto but none of that mattered in the end¯\_(ツ)_/¯

**Alice and Janet are definitely pit against each other in a gross way in the books as well, but they also get to be friends.

***I think giving some of those lines to Margo does great things to help humanize and flesh out her character, but it also detracts so much from Alice. Frankly I can’t figure out why they did it, especially since they kind of ignore the fact that they made Margo and Quentin friends at all once they get out of season 1.

[fvckingmagic]

okaaayyy. thoughts on the episode. short version? hated it. like wow. so much of that episode was... so bad. like. really bad y’all. i mean qualice is the obvious thing, but i can kinda get that for their characters. alice hasn’t been given a real chance to get over quentin in a healthy way and q has a really bad habit of falling back on sex and relationships instead of dealing with trauma ( and his life has been literally nothing BUT drama this whole season ). i mean like. i still didn’t like it, but i didn’t think it was entirely out of character for them. hate what the writers are doing with it, but that’s not the point right now. that’s a whole ‘nother rant

SECOND ISSUE. mother. fucking. margo. hanson. i’m so--- are you kidding me? i really legitimately think i might be more mad about this than literally anything. first of all, they sidelined her the whole episode because she has a bond so SHE has to be the one to watch the fish. instead of fen because fen has very important things to do as high king like..... go to benihana....? but then they introduced that she could pop out her eye so great!! this means she can leave her eye with the fish and go save eliot! .... oh.... no. nope. she’s gonna... stay... and bake for fish-josh and send penny to... save... eliot....? are you fucking kidding me??? in what universe would margo EVER choose anyone over eliot?? not just over him, but over SAVING HIS LIFE. remember how she like gave up her crown, had a horrible breakdown in the desert, got exiled from the one place she considers home, all to save the man she loves so much she’d die for him? and then---- gets sidelined to babysit a fish? i’m so angry y’all you don’t even understand. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE POINT OF THE UNATTACHED FAIRY EYE THEN!!

okay last thing is plover. i don’t--- hate the inclusion of his character out of hand. his dynamic is.... interesting. but i fucking hate HATE how hard they’re trying to push a redemption on him. “even when you change, people will only ever see you as what you’ve done v.v” NOT WHEN YOU RAPE A CHILD REPEATEDLY FOR YEARS YOU SICK MOTHERFUCKER!!! you know who that line applies to? ALICE QUINN. she gets her redemption because she made a bad decision once and it fucked over all the people she cares about and she changed right away. or you know what? you know who else that fucking applies to? the fairy queen! YOU KNOW WHO IT DOESN’T APPLY TO??? the fucking serial child rapist!!! what the actual fuck writers????

ugh... all of that said. i still love the show, obviously. one terrible episode isn’t going to change that. am i, as a gay person, really hurt by how they treated everything regarding queliot? yes. is that gonna make me boycot the show? no, cause i’m not a baby. i just hope they learn from this episode. i also hope that they didn’t fuck it up so badly that EVERYONE ELSE stops watching and gets the show canceled after next season. they better fix this man :/

[douxreviews]

The Magicians - ‘The Seam’ Review

“Always gotta be a f—cking twist.”

Welp, that was sad.

Before we get into it, there’s the whole monster-library-God stuff to go through. So, fairly quickly, Eliot, Alice, and Penny 23 take down Monster-Julia, freeing Julia of the possession. Then, a little slower but still fairly easily, they expel Monster-Eliot. Quentin, Alice, and Penny 23 go to take the monsters out for good and—of course—their plan seems foiled, once again by a librarian, this time Everett. But even then, they take down Everett pretty quickly and save the day. Which brings us to the sad.

If I were a person who was more interested in plot than characters these fairly quick fixes would bother me more than they do. Objectively, it’s a pretty anticlimactic take-down of the big bads the whole season was building up. But I’m not. And the show’s never been that way, either. Sure, we get dragons and big twists and worlds within worlds, but all that is to service the characters and their emotional journey with their varying mental health issues. And that’s why I love The Magicians; I imagine that’s why many others love it as well.

So The Magicians season finale doesn’t spend a ton of time on its battle with the big bads, instead choosing to focus on Quentin, who dies. Like, really dies. Not coming back dies. A permanent character death is a pretty common (though risky) television trope as well. But Quentin’s death isn’t about its permanency, it's about how he died and how he lived, and how the two intertwine. In an already heart-breaking scene, Quentin makes it so much harder when he asks Penny 40, “Did I do something brave to save my friends? Or did I finally find a way to kill myself?” And it’s a good question. Quentin’s history is full of hospital beds, suicide notes, knowing the tallest buildings around him. And even after he got to Brakebills that wasn’t over. This very season he became more and more depleted in his grief and helplessness over Eliot’s situation and the loss of his father. So of course he’d need to ask. And of course The Magicians doesn’t give an unambiguous answer.

Instead Penny 40 and The Magicians tell Quentin a story. One of a group of questers singing the most depressing and beautiful version of “Take on Me” ever sung, grieving for the man who not only “saved their lives” but “changed their lives.” Quentin brought everyone together, touched everyone in various ways, sparked them up when it was needed. And they did the same for him, and that made the whole group stronger and better for it. Did Quentin want to die? Was there some selfishness in his sacrifice? Maybe. But the story Penny 40 told was still a true one. Quentin is the reason the story went the way it did, and the reason it’s still going. Quentin’s strength in making it through the mental hospitals and suicide notes allowed him to help save the world and his friends multiple times over. This was his big heroic ending. Not choosing to die to save the world, but choosing to live—saving his friends in the process. And that’s an important story The Magicians told.

Bits and Pieces

-- Gotta appreciate that the show is always on it with the suicide hotline notices. But seriously, not every show is and I definitely appreciate that.

-- I’m not sure if this would fall under the “kill your gays” trope. I’m genuinely asking. Yes, Quentin was bisexual and he never actually got to have his romantic relationship with Eliot. But he was also the main character and one of many LGBTQ characters in The Magicians. And his death wasn’t executed as just a big, unexpected twist and it wasn’t mined for gratuitous sorrow. Instead it was warm and complicated, much like the show itself. Does that mean the show didn’t choose to fulfill that ugly trope? I’m not sure.

-- In other news, what’s going on with Fillory? They’re in the future? Fen and Josh are dead? What?

-- Also, Eliot and his amazing voice are back!!

-- Also, Julia’s back! As exciting as that is, it may have been nice to see more of Monster-Julia. She was pretty interesting.

-- In other Julia news, she’s human again. But she didn’t get to choose that for herself (will this prove problematic given what OLU said about the importance of Julia making the choice?). I don’t understand why Penny 23 couldn’t astral project into her mind to ask her what he wanted (because she was half-goddess, maybe?) and I wish the show had finally allowed her to have some agency. In a terribly depressing twist (another one) she gets her powers back through the pain of losing Quentin, her best friend since childhood. Magic is really harsh.

-- While I’m happy for Alice’s new job offer as the head librarian, I was kind of hoping Zelda was talking about Harriet when she brought it up. I don’t know, I guess I just want her back.

-- I will never listen to “Take on Me” the same way again.

-- This season, while not perfect (what ever happened to the McAllisters?), was definitely worth it. They explored some interesting topics (fascism, obedience, forgiveness). Had some amazing episodes (“The Side Effect,” “Home Improvement” for hilarity reasons). And the season MVP has to be whoever made the episode descriptions; they alone made the season worthwhile.

-- To end on a less depressing note, it was really nice seeing Margo and Eliot back together. I look forward to seeing more of those two in season five!!

Josh: “Guys, I think I have some special fish magics.”

Old-ish God: “Why are nickels bigger than dimes?” Josh: "Why are nickels bigger than dimes?”

Margo: “You can’t get that many people to cooperate. This isn’t Sesame Street.”

Penny 40: “All that stuff that we think protects us or motivates us or scares us, up there here it just all falls away. You’re finally just you.”

Three and a half out of four... I don’t know, I don’t even know... incredibly bleak, depressing plot twists?

Ariel Williams