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i watched this in slow motion ten times

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Asking Shane Pinto stupid questions

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Timbits of Wisdom

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happy whole lotta fucking month to all who celebrate

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ETHAN CARDWELL RECALL WHO’S UP WHO’S AWAKE!!!!

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[Video ID: A goal scored by Arshdeep Bains of the Vancouver Canucks against the Pittsburgh Penguins. It is his first career NHL goal.

Possession of the puck starts in VAN's zone. Bains, VAN13, touches the puck lightly, passing it to VAN91, Daniel Sprong. They embark on a breakaway towards the PIT zone. PIT65, Erik Karlsson, attempts a stick check to take away the puck from VAN91 but is unsuccessful. PIT24, Matt Grzelcyk, tries to cover the VAN91-VAN13 passing lane. VAN91 gains entry to the PIT zone. PIT24 attempts to sweep the puck away from VAN91, but VAN91 evades the maneuver as he shoots on PIT39, Alex Nedeljkovic, the goalie. PIT39 stops the puck with his pad, but the rebound goes towards VAN13, who scores. The camera zooms in on a defeated PIT39, then transitions to the celebration of the goal, where VAN24, Pius Suter, hugs VAN13 with his right arm, then pulls VAN91 into the hug with his left arm. Don't You (Forget About Me), the VAN goal song, plays in the background over the following events. VAN73, Vinny Desharnais, skates up to the hug behind VAN91 and joins, patting VAN13's head. VAN26, Erik Brannstrom, skates in at the back of the camera angle and joins as well. The five separate to skate through the fist-bump line; the camera focuses on VAN13, who smiles as he exits the line before going to rub the helmet of VAN91.

The goal sequence repeats. In this view, centering VAN13, we see PIT13, Kevin Hayes, behind VAN13 as the breakaway begins. PIT13 is slightly faster than VAN13, but does not win the speed race; as VAN91 shoots, PIT13 slows to cede his man to PIT24, not seeing that PIT24 is already focused on VAN91. VAN13 picks up the rebound from VAN91 and, barrelling into the crease, tucks the puck into the net behind PIT39. VAN13 points to VAN91 after the goal is scored in recognition of his effort, then celebrates the goal individually, taking out his mouthguard.

The goal sequence repeats once again from the behind-net viewpoint of VAN, transitioning into the behind-net viewpoint of PIT. Here, we see VAN26 and PIT8, Michael Bunting, engaged in a board battle for the puck. The puck squirts out to VAN13 through the skates of VAN24 and the rush is on the way. The camera focuses now on VAN91's efforts during the breakaway, showing the failed stick lift from PIT65, the shot on goal, and VAN13's rebound chance which he buries.

Notably, the commentators for this broadcast (Mantar Bhandal and Harp Pandher) are speaking in Punjabi. Arshdeep Bains is also Punjabi. The gravity of a Punjabi player scoring his first career NHL goal on the Hockey Night in Canada: Punjabi broadcast is not lost on the commentators, who are delighted about this fact. Their enthusiasm is contagious even for listeners who do not speak Punjabi. End ID.]

If anyone who speaks Punjabi can provide us a translation of what's being said, that would be awesome!!!

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nobody does it like them 💛 16/10/24

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i love you hockey season i love you hockey narratives i love you old dogs senior sanctuary players in their 30s trying to make it count i love you rookies failing and fumbling and loving the game anyway with the weight of the world on your shoulders i love you soulmates on the same line for years who can find each other blind i love you old men who succeed out of spite for the sake of each other i love you young guns who have fun and win to say fuck you to the old guard who want fighting and killing i love you guys who are fewer now but still resort to fighting and killing so it means the new face of the franchise doesn't get fought and killed i love you man with no teeth and all heart i love you goalie helmet kisses i love you freakass weird goalies with your blair witch omens built on broken hockey sticks hanging from your posts i love you wes mccauley even though you're on thin fucking ice i love you fans rooting for your shitty teams with worse management i love you people booing gary bettman i love you guys who find such a weird fucking loophole midgame that they have to make a new rule that you can't do that and they cite you by name i love you goalie interference whatever you are i love you intricate rituals i love you i love you i love you

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↳ JOEY DACCORD GETS THE GAME PUCK | SEA v. MIN | 10.12.24

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wow. just wow. happy geno 6’5 truther day to all who celebrate. we kept the faith

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I can’t wait for October: cozy sweaters, cool weather, jack'o'lanterns, pumpkin spice lattes, halloween, autumn leaves, the violent sport of hockey….

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Matt Rempe // b. June 29, 2002 Derek Boogaard // b. June 23, 1982; d. May 13, 2011 Chris Simon // b. January 30, 1972; d. March 18, 2024

Rest in peace, Chris Simon.

Like You, Roque Dalton; translated by Jack Hirschman.

Michael Mooney / Tim Nwachukwu / Jared Silber / [screengrab] / Michael Mooney / Joshua Sarner / Len Redkoles / Jared Silber / Sarah Stier / Joshua Sarner / Michael Mooney / Chris Tanouye / Andre Ringuette / Paul Bereswill / Bruce Bennett / Bruce Kluckhohn / Jim McIsaac

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Sid gives a Stick Talk for CCM!

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if i show up to my beer league game after finishing a 9-5 and the other team rocks up with bobby lou in goal i’d simply never play hockey again

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↳ NICO HISCHIER POSTGAME | 2024 STADIUM SERIES | 2.17.24

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hello! if memory serves you are the blog that talked about boy band pretty as a marketing tactic (or something to that effect? the search function does not work so if i’m wrong i’m terribly sorry) and i was wondering if you would be willing to find someone from each team (can include prospects if you want) to create the ultimate nhl boy band. this is not a necessary thing to do, solely shits and gigs and if you ever feel like it doing it. have a lovely day!

HIIIIIII that WAS me and you sent this at the perfect time because i am at the laundromat with time to kill and i LOVE to discuss this.... let's chop it up.... a few disclaimers: this is subjective so don't get mad at me and i will be including prospects and ahl players where i know its applicable BUT for most of these teams i will be going off the main roster + looks alone because if i did a full deep dive vibes analysis on every team's roster and prospects it would take me like two months to answer this ask... you understand. we are being SHALLOW here today in the true spirit of the boy band industry. let's go!!!

carolina hurricanes: i know everyone wants me to say sebastian aho but he is 1) too old 2) too unsettling looking. the elf on the shelf is not boy band pretty im sorry 😭 i do love him but he's just not the vibe here... i will say based on looks either scott morrow or jackson blake and his 90s heartthrob hair. i want to say seth jarvis because he's my special pop pop but that does contradict almost everything i have said previously so i will not be biased but know that if he was a pop star i would be his biggest fan i would kiss his poster. and that's my truth

columbus blue jackets: in the interest of journalistic integrity i went to their roster instead of just saying it's obviously kj as the intimidating aloof one in the boy ("boy") band but actually i do think it's cole sillinger.... teen heartthrob. also i didn't know that he was born in columbus because his dad was playing for the team and his brother is also on the team??? imagine having a whole destiny like that and its for COLUMBUS OHIO 😭

new jersey devils: jack hughes. open and shut case argue with the WALL

new york islanders: NOT MAT BARZAL. HE LOOKS 35. STAND UP LADIES!!! lowkey i do not know any of these dudes and this roster is kind of busted as fuck 😭😭😭 (NOT ANTHONY DUCLAIR who is too old to be a boy band boy but who i do love) bargain bin team... anyway isaiah george YOU! are the only cute person the new york islanders

new york rangers: matt rempe. those pictures of him lounging around on the phone??? wow. no words. diva heartthrob behavior. it's sad what they're doing to him what are we doing to our beautiful queens :(

philadelphia flyers: after much careful deliberation.... i think denver barkey is taking it. denver is such a deeply boy band name tbh he was born for this!!! i know everyone thinks it's jamie (who i still forget is a flyer 😭) but can you imagine him on a stage? singing a song? they are reinventing shoegaze for him. negative star quality (AFFECTIONATE!!!!!!! LOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!)

pittsburgh penguins: well NOW the obvious answer is rutger mcgroarty... not even worth going through that senior center roster when he's there tbh sorry pens

washington capitals: AGAIN. SENIOR CENTER ROSTER. i had to go to their prospects page to find someone suitable and my vote is patrick leonard he's a cutie!!! also im so sorry to say this but my jaw dropped when i got to this guy why are you playing hockey you need to make a children's album RIGHT NOW. i know he could do a banger cover of the We're going on a bear hunt song. but i digress...

boston bruins: matthew poitras is adorable and exudes star quality NEXTTTT. shoutout also brett harrison who looks like a long lost jonas brother

buffalo sabres: JACK QUINNN JQUIZZY HIMSELF partly for looks mostly for vibes... he has extreme "jack dylan grazer vape apology video" energy and also he has that boyish charm... either him or devon levi (hot) not miss owen power for the same reasons as jamie. she could never be a pop star 😔 ryan mcleod used to be the oilers popstar boy but now he's got too much competition he's a little niche for the title

detroit red wings: my gut tells me simon edvinsson but a look at the roster tells me there is some competition in the form of amadeus lombardi... if we were discussing this two years ago mo seider would be the obvious answer but he's too grizzled now 😔

florida panthers: 🙄 here comes another busted fucking roster... i guess denisenko??? panthers are not really representing here....

montreal canadiens: ARBER <3 he's like the bad boy hottie in the boy band. the one that makes your dad shake his head when he sees him on tv

ottawa senators: wow the atlantic division is fucking WACK this was another case of like. okay i guess ill pick one of yous but REALLY? so congratulations jorian donovan YOU are in the boy band

tampa bay lightning: seriously what is going on in this division. jack finley looks like he was the closeted one in a boy band from the early 2000s but he's aged past that now and he has a husband and a wine brand.... so we will bring him back for nostalgia points. welcome to the team. also i have to be honest i thought of myself as pretty well acquainted with the ahl but the SYRACUSE CRUNCH? that's crazy

leafs: JOSEPH WOLL! boyish charm out the ears on that one. a real cutie

chicago: obviously it's bedard. we all know it's bedard. on the surface he has no charisma but he does have a certain kind of shy boy charm and he IS adorable... he's the one in the boy band who makes your mom tut over him like "he seems like a nice boy"

colorado avalanche: wow huge props to matt stienburg for having maybe the single most boy band roster photo i have seen yet... THIS is the guy they get in the boy band because he's already had huge success with his hit single called like, Heart React Girlfriend or whatever. this is jacob sartorius if he played hockey. this is chase dreams. this kid is going places

dallas stars: it's obviously wyjo, joining the ranks with cbedard as The Nice One <3

minnesota wild: okay i was going to say brock faber because every group needs a kevin jonas (SORRY BROCK) but WHO is kyle masters and why does he look like knockoff brendan brisson. budget briss. diet briss. we have briss at home.

nashville predators: this just reminded me cody glass is a penguin now 💔 anyway the preds have some STRONG contenders here wow.... jeremy hanzel is taking it but i think luke evangelista could pull it off... now if you asked me to be really subjective it would be ozzy wiesblatt who would also be the subject of much poster kissing and rigged "which member of the nhl boy band should you date" tests so i get him as the result but that's just me....

st louis blues: jeremie biakabutuka your radiant smile has charmed me.... welcome to the band....

utah whatevers: MONTANA ONYEBUCHI I AM SO FUCKING SORRY THE SHARKS DIDNT APPRECIATE YOU. BUT WE WILL..... also matt villalta kinda giving off brand kj... you could build a whole off brand version of that umich team just with guys from other teams i bet

winnipeg jets: dylan coghlan you will always be famous to ME but i fear you are a little too old for our purposes here.... other than him they kinda don't have a lot going for them.... brayden yager it is your time to shine as off brand owen power ♥️

anaheim ducks: some strong competition here... tz is the obvious choice but i think we need to think bigger... olen zellwegger please step forward....

calgary flames: matt coronato i am free on thursday if you would like to hang out on thursday when i am free and also join this boy band

edmonton oilers: yet another old ass roster 😭 they're lucky they got so many sabres because matt savoie is saving their asses rn

los angeles kings: angus booth is smizing in every single photo i saw of him so. come on now

san jose sharks: it's so obviously will smith i don't even know what we're doing here tbh

seattle kraken: tye kartye looks like he would be into white water rafting so he can be the nature guy in the boy band.... strong competition from tucker robertson but he's just a touch too gay porn for this vibe

vancouver canucks: JETT WOO... HELLO.... but also shoutout cole mcward for having 2014 gay youtuber phenotype. a connor franta troye sivan type face if ive ever seen one

vegas golden knights: BRISS ‼️‼️‼️ my little tabloid queen... not only is he in the boy band but he's in the news and the media. he was born to be a star. natural ham. child actor energy. alex holtz is also a strong contender for this but i think he's off on his own doing his little pop star solo act thing

this took way longer than laundromat time but it was worth it i had so much fun!!!!! thank you!!!!!!