#also Rain wins 99% of the time

[delusionalbitchinthehouse]

Which mario kart character do some of the ghouls use :

Dew : Princess Peach, fights with Aurora about it

Ifrit : Bowser on the tiniest pink kart he can find

Swiss : Waluigi

Phantom : Yoshi

Aurora : Princess Peach, fights with Dew about it

Aether : doesn't really care, usually ends up with Mario

Cirrus : Boo

Mountain : Toad

Sunshine : Koopa Troopa

Rain : Princess Daisy

Cumulus : Baby Bowser

Zephyr : Shy Guy

[dangerousduckcloud]

Flowerbeds make up for a nice eternal rest

Read it also on AO3

“It’s about the gun.” “You got it working?” Dick’s voice wasn’t clear, munching on something crunchy and loud. “I need to do several tests first, but… Yeah, I think so.”

Chapter 13 < > Chapter 15

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Taking a deep breath, you calmed your racing heart, a feeble attempt to rid of the shaking in your hands, peering at your unsuspecting prey, oblivious to the hell that would rain down upon him any second now.

Tim had helped you set up everything in place, at the moment waiting for him to be done on his side. “Ready?” He whispered. Adrenaline pumping your veins, you nodded, a brief glance at him revealed he was already in place, his body and face impassive, no emotion reflected in them.

Through the lens, you searched for your enemy once more. You felt the need to lay your elbows on the handrail for extra support despite that the stabilizer Tim had given you was enough to balance everything.

He’d move since the last time you locked him in your sight, moving slightly to the left to get your mark into focus, fiddling with the camera on his hands, looking through the photos that were undoubtedly of you.

“On the count of three. Three, two, one… Now!”

The once tidy up man, with a clean white shirt had soon been overwhelmed by splashes of (barely) red, and (mostly) yellow paint covering each centimeter of his body. As expected, Tim’s shots landed on the paparazzi 99% of the time, and while you’d some luck to hit him on the left shoulder and his back, most of your shots ended on the trees and the driveway around.

Cackling like mad, both you and Tim didn’t relent, your anger subsiding with every jump from side to side the man was doing in his attempt to avoid the paint pellets, succeeding the minute he found his car keys —a pristine, beautiful car now your new motivation, as it was an easier target.

Even though it was short-lived, this is probably the most fun you had in a long while.

The moment you couldn’t see the car anymore, you and Tim shared a high-five. “Excuse me.” A cold, gravelly voice behind you chilled every bone in your body, rooted in its place and too afraid to make a movement and bring down Alfred’s ire upon yourself. “Just what do you think you’re doing?”

“It was Tim’s idea!” You blurted out, pointing at him while he looked at you, mouth agape, surprised and rightly betrayed. 

“I don’t care whose idea it was. This is an idiotic, foolish thing you’ve both done. You will clean up the driveway—”

“Jane’s the one that made the whole mess by failing, why should I clean?”

“Oh yeah, I’m sorry, I forgot we all had to be shooting prodigies.”

“You had a stabilizer! And you still failed!”

“Children!” You’d never heard Alfred raise his voice quite like now, his left eye twitching, and the crease between his brows deepening. “I frankly don’t care who failed and who didn’t, you should know better.”

Your cheeks had gotten so red you could fry an egg on them. You’d come to respect Alfred after all your time here, the shame consuming you at seeing him so disappointed in you.

“Yes, Alfred.” Both you and Tim mumbled. Theres was no point in arguing further with him. No one could ever win against him.

The man placed a hand in front of him, wordlessly ordering to hand over the paint guns, complying without a word. “There are buckets and rags in the utility closet in the lower floor. I’d advise you to start now if you do not wish to miss lunch.”

𓆩𓆪𓆩𓆪

“Missed a spot. There.” Cass had woken up from her nap in the middle of you and Tim cleaning, seating herself atop a concrete pillar. You moved towards where she was pointing. The paint had already begun to dry, making it harder to clean, not to mention how hard it was to clean grass, plucking the paint covered parts and letting the wind take them away when you had enough.

“Can’t believe you would out me like that.” Tim grumbled. “I trusted you, Jane. Shame on you.”

“Against Alfred’s ire, it’s every woman for herself.”

Cass chuckled, her feet swinging one after the other, her heels thumping against the column. The cleaning continued in silence up until the distant sound of a car approaching made you three stop, waiting for the car to get closer and see who it was.

Could it be the reporter again? No, this car was different —and clean—, so unless the man was stupid enough to come back and risk getting another car a new paint job, it had to e someone else.

“Brother!” Cass exclaimed when the driver had gotten out of the car, jumping down from the fence straight to Dick’s arms. “I missed you!”

“Aww, I missed you too, Cass.” Dick let go of her, rounding the left opened door of his car, a frown on his face when he noticed you two. “Hey guys, what are you doing?”

“My punishment for being a good person and helping a traitor.”

“I swear, Timothy, I’m going to put salt in your coffee.”

“Oh, so now I’m being threatened. For shame.”

You threw your rag to his face, your less than good aiming not even getting it close to him. Tim broke into a wheezing fit, holding his stomach and balancing himself until his back hit the grass.

“Don’t forget, Drake, I know where you live.” Tim’s chuckles were joined by those of Dick’s.

“I’m definitely missing a lot of context here. I can only gather you’ve been spending a lot of time with Damian, Jane.”

Prepared for Dick’s arrival, Alfred had busied himself with cooking some of Dick’s favorites meals. The kitchen a combination of wonderful smells of dishes you’d never heard of before.

Having meals with so few people felt weird now, having grown accustomed to all the chatter and bickering Damian and mostly Steph would make. Today it was only Dick, Cass, Alfred, and you. Tim had to leave in a hurry after a PR disaster involving a higher up employee —Something about embezzlement or something like that.

“So, what’s space like?” You asked in between bites.

“Oh, you know, just the usual.”

“Unbelievable that not only you went to space, but also other planets and the only thing you can say is ‘Just the usual.”

Dick chuckled.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Uh.” He took a sip of his drink, clearing his throat. “It’s usually hard to enjoy the scenery when time’s not on your side. Green Lantern was being accused of genocide, and, well, the penalty would be execution if he was guilty, so you’ll understand why we were so desperate to find out what was going on.”

“Did he do it?”

“Of course not. He thought he did it, as an accident, but someone was trying to frame him. They used holograms to make it seem like the planet was destroyed.”

“That’s horrible! Why would someone do that?”

“In simpler words? Power.”

Just how taxing is it to be a superhero or a vigilante? To have the weight of the world on your shoulders, to constantly be risking your life for people that most likely wouldn’t even give you the time of day on a normal afternoon. How can they keep their heads cool knowing that if they fail, it’s literally quite possible for their whole word to cease to exist?

“So,” Dick spoke again. “How much did you and Tim messed up to get reprimanded like that?”

You groaned, letting your head dramatically fall to the table. Cass was laughing and you could hear the awfully loud sigh of disappointment from Alfred.

“In my defense, it was an extremely disgusting article.”

𓆩𓆪𓆩𓆪

Just like Tim said, no one else, be it the newspapers, gossip shows or any random citizen in social media even mentioned the article. Your appearance in the media had practically gone unnoticed.

After your whole explanation to Dick, —and after his disgust had passed— he assured you as well Bruce’s reputation would not be tainted, a fact you confirmed with each hour that passed and nothing else came up.

However, he stressed that if you still wanted, you could sue them for slander. Or they could, since getting involved in that kind of legal issues would bring a whole new wave of unnecessary worries and attention from the public eye to the Wayne’s, mainly; you don’t exist. Not legally, at least.

You let it be. No need to bring unwanted attention to the family.

              | Why are my classmates asking about you?

Oh, you hadn’t thought about telling Damian. Nor how he would take to the article.

              | Because I’m so cool and awesome and everyone wants to hang out with me? ;)

              | And why are they calling you my mother?

              | I’ll tell you, alright? Just, trust me, it’s nothing. Tim and I took care of it. https://www.gotham.weekly/bruce-wayne’s-biological...

You were actually scared of how he would react, knowing the kid, he would probably make a surprise appearance at the newspaper’s HQ with his swords and threaten everyone inside.

He was taking a while to reply. Was he on his way to the manor or did he have some kind of retractable swords he carried anywhere? You wouldn’t be surprised.

Or maybe he simply was caught texting during class.

Honestly, both were quite possible. Still, you wouldn’t try to call him in case he was actually in class, paying attention or something. You tapped on the article’s link one more time. Even if it was revolting the things people would write for engagement, and you would unfortunately remember this incident every time you looked at them, you needed to download the photos, ignoring the motives as to why they were taken, they were still nice pictures. And you would print all the photos that you could before going back, something to remind you all of this wasn’t a dream.

Your heart sank the moment you opened the link, and it sent you to the white, ‘404 not found’ screen.

              | I took care of it.

Oh. Well, that was... Quite a better reaction than you expected.

              | Thank you, Dami :)! Wish I’d saved the photos first, tho.

              | image1.jpg, image2.jpg.

𓆩𓆪𓆩𓆪

As soon as Damian had discovered Dick had come back, he wandered to him like a magnet, never leaving his side. Every time you walked near them, the only thing you could hear was Damian narrating him all the things he did while he was gone.

You were relieved Damian had all but forgotten about your ‘lessons’, you loved he wanted to teach you how to protect yourself, but your body was still extremely sore, and hurting, and you wouldn’t be able to handle another night of practice.

Walking down the corridor to your room, you were ready to call it quits for the day, even if it was early. The living room was usually empty at this hour, with everyone in the house getting ready down in the cave for patrol, that’s why, when a familiar set of voices mentioning a very particular word reached your ears, curiosity sparked in you.

“It’s about the gun.”

“You got it working?” Dick’s voice wasn’t clear, munching on something crunchy and loud.

“I need to do several tests first, but… Yeah, I think so.”

“That’s great, Timmy!”

“Yeah…” Tim’s voice was gravelly, lacking the same enthusiasms his older brother had. “But Jane…”

“I know, I’ll miss her too. But she has her own life to go back to.”

“It’s not that, Dick—I, the math, I did it—”

You stopped listening the moment Damian turned the corner, a brow raised and coming to a halt when he saw you. Alfred the cat was calmly perched on his arms, jumping down at the lack of movement, stretching for a second before walking away.

With a nervous smile, you walked to him, away from the living room. “Why were you spying on my brothers?” Well, at least he’s calling Tim his brother.

“I wasn’t—”

“You were.”

“They were talking about that alien gun thing, and my world, was I not supposed to listen?”

“There is something called privacy,” The crease on his forehead deepened. “even if you are the topic of their talk. They will let you know when they are ready to do so.”

You opened your mouth, but no words left, whatever futile retort dying on your tongue. It was a whole level of humiliating to being scolded by a ten-year-old, even if that kid was Damian. Because, yeah, even if it wasn’t your intention at first, you were listening in. But it truly was impossible not to when weeks had gone by and not a single peep had been said about your situation. Whenever you brought it up with Tim, his ever-ready response was ‘working on it.’ Each time. Nothing more, nothing less.

And he was working on it, there was no doubt about it, even if he was doing so purely to get his dad back, or to help you as well, it didn’t matter.

But you were starting to feel uneasy for a second time, just like your first days here. There was something in the way he always said it; unsure, distant, avoiding your gaze while changing the topic. So, yeah, sue you for wanting to be in the know.

“How was school?”

“Bearable.” You chuckled, walking alongside him up the stairs leading to the second floor, the sun setting in the horizon. “I researched the clubs per your request.”

“Suggestion, Damian. Suggestion.”

“There is a voluntary program in an animal shelter, Friday evenings. And… It is not for students only. Anyone can go.”

“You’re saying you want me to go with you?”

“If that is what it takes to keep you from snooping around.”

He said it so nonchalantly, an afterthought, yet you noticed through the reflection of one of the mirrors in the hall how he kept glancing at you.

“Of course I’ll be there.”

His shy, small smile almost made you want to pinch his cheeks like an old lady, but you still appreciated having an un-broken hand, settling for messing up his hair.

𓆩𓆪𓆩𓆪

You’d been here for weeks, and the beds at Wayne Manor still felt so surreal as your first night here. The satin bedsheets were still as smooth as ever, the pillows were never hot, no matter how high the temperature was, and in all, you always slept like a baby.

You wondered if they had some kind of magic in them to be so damn comfortable all the time.

Considering just who this house belongs to, you wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case.

Every night you would fall asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow, not waking up until your alarm went off. This morning was different; a soft, but repetitive thud, thud against the window woke you from your slumber. Sluggishly, you grabbed a cushion to place over your ear to muffle the sound of whatever bird thought your room was the perfect place to be annoying.

It seemed luck was not on your side, the noise getting louder and faster. You groaned, throwing the cushion and blanket to the side, tapping the cold floor with your feet to find your slippers in the dark. A quick look to your phone, eyes squinting at the bright screen, revealed it was fifteen to five. Not even five in the morning. When you slid open the curtains, you expected to see a spooked bird flying away.

There was a bird. Just not the type you expected.

Sitting on the window’s ledge, a raised hand ready to knock once again, hanging in the air at noticing the curtain moving, a soft smile replaced his calm look once he took in your disheveled hair and sleepy hair.

You, on the other hand, had an opposite reaction, an audible gasp escaping you, covering your mouth with both hands a second later, turning to face the door and see if anyone had heard you.

“What are you doing?” As much as you wanted to yell at him, you had to do it in whispers, doing so right after you unlatched the lock to open the window, sticking your head out, a shiver running down your body caused by the chilly morning breeze, your knee-length shorts and sleeveless shirt not suited to properly warm you.

“Told you I’ll take you on a date.”

“At five in the morning?”

“Yep.”

You moved to the side when he got up from the edge to get inside your room, your heart skipping a beat at seeing him crouched so unbothered, half of his feet resting on air. You knew he had incredible balance and reflexes, but you couldn’t suppress the need to step forward and grab him so he wouldn’t fall. You didn’t do anything of the sorts, instead letting the cold air keeping for face fixed from the crisis your mind was going through.

“I promise it’s going to be worth it.” His feet landed without a sound, closing the window behind him.

“It’s going to be worth it. I promise.”

“All guys say the same thing, you know.”

“I’m not like other guys.” As soon as the words left his lips, his grin turned into a grimace, and you were a spectator of how hard he was cringing internally, hiding his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt. Which, you now noticed, he wasn’t wearing his Red Hood suit, but simply jeans and a red sweatshirt. The tips of his hair were wet, yet when you looked out the window, the cobbled paths and grass lighted up by the garden lamps were dry.

To help him avoid more embarrassment, you asked once again.

“What could be worth it at this hour?”

He sat on the edge of your bed, fiddling with the straps of his hood. Even sitting down, you still weren’t taller than him, instead now being eye level.

“Trust me. Just change into something warm and comfortable.”

You took one last look at him before walking into your closet, gathering in your arms an outfit like his, a pair of jeans and a basic gray jumper. On your way to the bathroom, you pretended to be cleaning the sweater from invisible dust. What were you supposed to do if he was also looking at you? Smile? Say something? Look intently at him like a weirdo?

Before you could completely close the door, you heard him talk to himself, “‘Not like other guys?’ Seriously?” His groan drowned the click of the door closing, a smile on your face. It seems you’re not the only one nervous tonight.

Letting go of the door knob, you exhaled. You have no clue what he’s planning to do, and your sleep laded brain couldn’t conjure up any plausible or logical idea. And the time it was taking you to get ready was making you self-conscious on top of already feeling anxious and giddy, but you simply cannot go out with Jason with practically a bird nest on your hair, and never in a million years would you kiss him with morning breath.

That last thought made you pause halfway through putting your hair up with a bat-shaped hair claw —a claw Cass had gifted you the only time you went out to the mall.

That wasn’t going to happen, would it? There was no reason for him... What if he’s just— Oh who are you kidding? Why else would he take you on a date at the crack of dawn? Why bother if he’s not going after something? So, he was going to kiss you. Maybe.

But why did that hurt more than it made you happy?

“You ready?” He asked when you left the bathroom. With a nod of affirmation, he stood up, opening the door for you.

You didn’t even want to breathe, thinking that every exhale would be loud enough to be heard throughout the manor, your steps were cautious, deliberate, and slow. Meanwhile, Jason was already waiting for you at the end of the corridor, his steps made no sound, his training so ingrained in his mind and body it was second nature to move like a shadow, even if he wasn’t doing it on purpose. It was impressive, honestly.

“Slowpoke.” He whispered when you were in his reach.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t take bat-training when I was twelve, they didn’t offer it at my school.”

Jason chuckled. “Come on, or we’ll be late.”

Late for what, you wondered? If anything, you would be too early for everything.

It got easier to walk the farther you got from all the rooms, getting out of the manor through a sliding door that led to the garden, from there walking like normal to the driveway.

“Now what?” You asked, there was no way this wouldn’t wake them up, as you knew how loud the fence mechanism was. Jason said nothing, instead walking towards you and placing a hand on your waist.

“Don’t scream.”

“Huh?”

Before you could react, he pulled a grappling gun from his pocket, pointing it to a sturdy tree branch and firing it in less than a second. Your feet left the ground, going higher and higher, feeling the strength of gravity trying to pull you down, only succeeding once you were over the fence and falling to the other side.

“I’m honestly impressed, most people scream their first time.” You didn’t tell him it was because you were too stunned to react. But you would admit it was an amazing experience. “Come.”

He gestured for you to follow him. The darkness brought in your terrible memories, walking as close as you could to Jason, not wanting the shadows to consume you. Of course, the proximity meant your hands would graze each other with every step, the feeling grounding you and not letting your fears to overwhelm you.

Besides endless rows of trees spaced out so evenly they didn’t look real, there wasn’t much else around. The moonlight shone above the grass; the light being reflected by the morning dew.

You wanted to know so badly what was going on inside his head, daring only once to cast a rapid glance at him, his face calm, eyes focused on the road ahead, as if searching for something. You wanted to know what holding his hand again would be like, without the lingering fear and anxiety of waking up from a Fear Gas induced nightmare.

After the umpteenth time your knuckles brushed against his, you finally took hold of his pinky finger with yours, waiting with bated breath to see his reaction. You felt your lips shyly curve into a smile when he intertwined his fingers with yours, his grip strong enough to make you feel safe and secure, as though nothing could ever take you away from him.

“I—Uh.” He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry ‘bout the walk, had to make sure no one would hear my bike.”

“No, it’s alright. This is nice. Peaceful.”

It didn’t take long until you could see the form of a bike partially hidden in the bushes off road. There wasn’t any kind of modifications or enhancements you could see, it was your simply, standard sport motorcycle you could buy anywhere, two helmets dangling from one of the handles.

Jason, sadly, let go of your hand, your body already missing the warmth. He grabbed one of the helmets, and you hand your hand outstretched, waiting for him to hand it to you, yet he kept getting closer until you could feel his body heat.

“Sorry, I’ll have to…” He removed the hair claw, letting your hair loosely fall. It seemed he was going to say something else when he noticed the shape of the claw, releasing a deep chuckle. “This is cute.” He closed the teeth around the base of the hood, continuing with putting the helmet on your head, fumbling with the strap to get it to latch —and his wandering touches on your chin did not go unnoticed. He pulled up the visor once he was done, opening and closing his mouth a few times. “Is it tight?”

You blinked once, not believing what he just said. Out of nowhere. So bold. “Sorry?”

“The helmet, I’m not sure if I tied it too tight.”

You should get your head out of the gutter. “Oh.” Your cheeks were red, surely because of the cold. “No, it’s perfect.”

“Great.” He turned around to grab his helmet, and while he had his back to you, you let yourself have a bit of a meltdown in silence, placing your hands over your head, feeling plastic instead of your hair which you wanted to pull.

He was just getting on the bike by the time you were done, and you gingerly did the same, your arms rounding up his torso. Even with his layers of clothes, you could still feel how sturdy it was. After he made sure your visor was down once again, he turned on the ignition, swiftly gaining speed.

Rows of trees soon gave way to the outlines of the city, its tall skyscrapers blending with the dark night. Since Bristol was situated on a hill, you were able to see most of the city’s districts, a specific area to your right with so many lights on it seemed as if it was just the afternoon and not early morning.

“That’s Old Gotham.” Jason seemed to read your mind. “It’s kinda like Gotham’s own Vegas; casinos, strip clubs, night clubs, motels… Anything you could imagine opened late at night, it’s there.”

You grimaced at the thought of having a first date in a dingy, smelly casino, highly opposed to what you would’ve preferred. However, you never got close, the lights in fact getting further away.

After several minutes, he finally pulled over in a parking lot beneath what you assumed were apartments, taking the helmet from you, holding one on his hand and the other under his arm. He began walking, yet you took that chance to use the bike’s mirrors to try and comb your hair with your fingers —frozen fingers, mind you. Angling yourself in the perfect spot for the fluorescent lights to illuminate you fully. “You coming?”

He chuckled. This time, Jason didn’t hesitate on holding your hand.

“So, where are we?” You asked while waiting for the elevator to come down. He looked at you sideways, with that damned grin you loved so much, his hair all over the place as he didn’t bother to fix it, yet he still looked great, probably even better.

“Just a special place.”

The ‘ding’ announcing the elevator’s arrival echoed through the mostly empty parking lot, pressing the highest button to go all the way to the roof. During the whole time, he never let go of your hand, his thumb caressing yours and his hold tightening for a moment as if to prove you were still there.

Feeling boldened by his actions, you let your head rest on his shoulder, your eyes focused on the led screen displaying the floor you were in, twenty two, so far, the number going higher and higher seemingly without a want to stop.

“So, this is where the mighty Hood comes to rest?”

“Kinda, yeah.” He chuckled, but you noticed it wasn’t exactly a humorous laugh, rather a nervous one. You let your eyes wander around; there was a small camera on one of the corners behind you, but it didn’t look anything sophisticated, just a regular surveillance camera that most likely still recorded in black and white, without audio, but just on the off chance that you were wrong, you would leave the vigilante life topics for another day, in a safer place. Glancing down to your joined hands, a beaming smile made its appearance yet another time tonight, balancing yourself on the soles of your shoes. “Someone’s excited.”

“Well, I need to be moving or else I’ll fall asleep. You know, because it’s five in the freaking morning.”

“We’re almost there… Ah, close your eyes.”

“Why?”

But instead of replying, he let go of your hand, getting behind you and covering your eyes with his hands. You didn’t even get the chance to see in which floor you’d ended before the ding of the elevator was heard, the doors opening and welcoming the strong, freezing wind biting at your uncovered skin. So, you’re outside once again.

Jason was calmly guiding you, and even though you knew he wouldn’t walk you to the edge of the floor, your steps were still shaky, arms and hands outstretched in front of you as to not collide with anything. “Can’t you just—”

“You can open them, now.” His hands fell from your face to your shoulders, and a breath escaped you from what’s in front of you.

On a raised platform there was a small, rectangular patch of grass with beautiful red roses and bushes around, a fluffly red and white blanket with a woven basket keeping it on the ground, fake candles illuminating the still dark sky.

When you turned around to look at Jason, to see anything in him to let you know this was indeed meat for you, he still had another surprise in his hands. “Flowers, in my opinion, are a must. But since you said no flowers, well...” He handed you a chocolate bouquet with peonies and tulips made with chocolate. “I’m sorry it took me so long, but I wanted to find the perfect rooftop and… Was it too much?”

He panicked when tears began prickling your eyes, his hands holding your shoulders to comfort you. You wanted to talk, to answer it wasn’t too much that it was perfect, to say something. But your emotions got the best of you. It brought up all your past pains and experiences, all your heartbreaks and disappointments.

It brought up that perfect remainder that you could very well go back to your earth tomorrow, and you would never be able to talk to them.

Through the tears, now free falling, you looked up, his face full of worry, and confusion, and embarrassment, and unease. You placed your hands on his jaw, face not even twitching at your cold fingers. “Thank you.” You whispered. He, in turn, smiled, kissing your forehead.

“Come, you won’t want to miss this.”

You nodded, using the back of your hands to rid you of the tears, letting Jason guide you once again and sitting down next to him on the warm blanket, just in time to see the golden rays of sunshine shine on the city.

[rebelwriter99]

Well those were some remarkably accurate predictions!

SPOILERS INCOMING! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Tantiss did get blown to bits. Everyone did escape. (Because they had to they hadn’t had a big win in more than an entire season to justify it!) And they DID make it an hour long episode! I was so relieved the second I saw the runtime.

But WOW were a lot of things a surprise. Nala Se doing what she did I feel like I should have seen coming. It was a fantastic character arc conclusion for her, especially that line about Kamino. Rampart being there I didn’t see coming, but also a very well earned conclusion for his character (if you’ll take my meaning).

Omega! Honestly the only predictable character on screen at this point. Except perhaps Echo. Of course she released the Zillo beast-that was set up really nicely. Everyone immediately knowing it was her was delightful and probably the only time I remember laughing all episode because boy was it heavy from there.

The Batch themselves and what happened to them were a huge shock all episode. Crosshair finally voicing what I’d known since S1 and became blindingly obvious post S2 was a fantastic moment. I’m so glad it got said out loud, and I’m so glad it was him that said it. They haven’t been Clone Force 99 since the end of S1 E1 and the loss of Crosshair to the Empire. Their success rate on missions has consistently dropped since then, even more so since the loss of Tech. They were a unit, and they’re missing pieces. They’ve never been whole since the fall of the republic, and then had to operate in a galaxy they weren’t trained for. They’re not the same anymore-they needed to own that.

The three heavy duty action scenes the batch were involved in were all callbacks to previous scenes. The hangar stand off-against what are essentially operatives designed to combat them specifically-is a call back to the first appearance of imperial cross. Crosshair sees the operatives and knows they can’t win. He’s unfortunately right. And wow I did not see Crosshair losing his shaking hand coming at all. I understand practically why the writers did it, and I know I’ll be thinking long and hard about it, but I literally screamed out loud when it happened.

I think all of the batch finally understanding and experiencing what Crosshair lived through was important. The batch met their match in Hemlock. Crosshair was never really an enemy in S1, and Rampart was too stupid. To Tarkin, they were a fly in the ointment of the bigger picture. It was nothing personal. He’s Echo and Rex and the rebellions problem-not theirs. But Hemlock? The experimental scientist who wants to own what they hold most dear. Yeah. They needed to really know him. I knew when Wrecker got injured last episode that if they won it would be by the skin of their teeth-and I don’t think a single character bar omega got out unscathed.

The batch’s rescue is perfect. Regs volunteering and going to rescue the defective clones? This really is a new galaxy. We’ve moved on from Cross and “he’s just another reg”. And it’s Omega and Echo returning the favour. The Batch have gone into a research facility to rescue their own and gotten captured for their trouble twice now. (Not including Echos rescue in clone wars-where they avoid capture but get a tad stuck). This was the third attempt in TBB. Still got captured. But it’s Echo and Omega together who get to rescue the people who got them out of their similarly horrible situations. The parallels abound and I loved it!

And that last confrontation. The rain? The shape of the buildings? That exposed platform? This was Kamino all over again. Except this time, however injured, however changed they are, Hunter and Crosshair are together. For Omega. They’ve both failed to stop her being taken by Hemlock before-they’ve both watched a ship fly away with her on board. This is another third attempt. They both get their do over. Except this time they’ve learned to trust eachother, and they’ve been forced to adapt. The clone’s humanity has always been their strength-and this is one of the most perfectly written, perfectly animated scenes in the series. I knew Cross was going to have to make a shot he didn’t want to take. And I knew he’d do it. But Omega telling him what to do, telling him she trusted him not to hurt her, broke me. It was all leading up to this. And that she hugged Cross first. I was crying before this scene. I will have to rewatch and hope I can actually see next time I was sobbing!

And Hemlock got his slightly gruesome end. Thank the FORCE.

And Pabu at the end. You can feel their disbelief that the trauma is over. That they can have peace. And the epilogue is perfect. I wish we’d got to see older cross and wrecker too-but their character arcs were already handled earlier. This is Hunters scene-it was always going to have to be. For him to truly be at peace, he has to feel OK watching her fly away. He’s spent three seasons clinging on-how he’s happy to let go. And Omega gets her choice. That precious thing all the clones are chasing. She got to have a childhood, grow up, and choose.

I’m so hopeful that Omega at least will reappear-especially if she’s hoping to join the rebellion! Maybe she’ll meet Hera again-that would be amazing. (I’m nothing if not a rebels fan)

I know Bad Batch is a series I’ll be coming back to again and again to rewatch, and I know I’ll see new things in it each and every time, but for now-Thank you Clone Force 99. You’ll always be our ‘dad batch’ of deviants. It was a wonderful wild ride.

[darkx-the-dragon-kn1ght]

Chapter 21- Part 11

That Yanmega’s gonna be more of a problem than Anorith, so it’d be better to try and take it down first instead. I’ll heal Meteo with a Hyper Potion while Riptide uses Ice Fang on Yanmega.

Oh gosh, can you stop with the Struggle Bug spam!?

I can’t let Meteo faint, I need him for the rest of this fight! Okay, switch out Meteo and into Decibel while Riptide…tries to do something, if he can?

Welp- and here I had hope after Decibel survived Struggle Bug with more than half HP, but Rock Tomb dashed those hopes.

There’s no way Meteo outspeeds to set up Sunny Day, but even still, Crater’s Rock Slide should be able to do…something, here.

Okay! Okay, I’m…definitely gonna have to reset by now, there’s no way Crater can win by herself against the last three Pokémon when it’s like this. But still, as one last Hail Mary thing- what’s her next Pokémon?

I was right again, she does have a Volbeat too! And she named it after her brother, that’s also super cute! But okay, yeah, time to reset- 

So the moral of the story is to NOT allow Anorith and Yanmega to be on the field at the same time, so we cannot knock out Illumise and Masquerain at the same time again. But now I know Illumise is the Rain Dance-user, so now I know who to prioritize knocking out first. And I also know five out of her six Pokémon: Illumise, Volbeat, Masquerain, Yanmega, and Anorith. But what’s her sixth, I wonder…?

The stuff with Ravine is the same, but we’re leading with Decibel this time instead of Lake, because I might need Lake more later on and also I’m hoping Decibel can resist more of Masquerain’s moveset. 

First, I’m actually gonna try and hinder the Masquerain’s Speed with Rock Tomb- after all, since I’m 99% sure Illumise has Prankster, there’s no way we’re gonna stop Rain Dance from going up at all. But after slowing down Masquerain and doing some extra damage to both with Air Cutter, we’ll focus down Illumise on the next turn.

Wait, Masquerain knows Icy Wind??

Okay, so I guess we’re just going back to our lead from the first attempt anyways, great-

I greatly dislike that Masquerain, actually, too many threatening moves! It might be more advantageous to knock it out before Illumise, actually- not like Illumise’s gonna use Rain Dance a second time right now. I’ll have Ravine use Rock Slide while Lake uses Air Slash on the Masquerain to hopefully bring it down.

There’s that Anorith again…so we have to knock it out first too before Yanmega comes back in. Let’s Screech its Defense down first while Lake just vibes and uses Roost.

Oh wait, Illumise is still using Struggle Bug, hey hold on-

Nevermind, the Illumise was more threatening all along! And that Anorith is as annoying as ever! Hmm…well, if I bring out Meteo and Crater, they should be able to take care of at least the Anorith.

Rock Slide and Weather Ball, what’s that gonna do?

Oh you’re kidding me, come on now-

Well, the good news is that Anorith’s dead, the bad news is Illumise survived those rocks, bulky fool that it is. Hm- I wonder…I’m not actually getting a lot of exp. points for these, so maybe it wouldn’t be risky to get my whole team to Lv. 34? Something to consider if I end up resetting again.

But when Illumise’s at such low health, another Weather Ball should seal the deal regardless. In fact, I’ll take the chance to heal Crater with a Hyper Potion as well.

Oh, it looks like Shelly had the same idea, cool-

But still, Rock Slide and another Weather Ball should be good here, yeah?

And Illumise’s using Confuse Ray again, cool-

AND YANMEGA KNOWS GIGA DRAIN, COOL-

Sure, the Rock Slide kills Illumise, but at what cost??

Oh, that’s her sixth Pokémon. Okay, I was expecting her to have an Araquanid, but…no Scizor? Huh.

Well, chances are I’ll have to reset yet again, but- no, no, I don’t just wanna give up right now. We’ve still got Crater and Riptide, and the rain should be dying down any minute now! I’m going to have Crater try to get a Rock Slide off while Riptide uses Ice Fang on the Araquanid, just to see if this can be salvaged in any way…

OH! The Quick Claw comes in yet again! And she attacks through the confusion, too!

AND YANMEGA’S DOWN!! And Araquanid flinched, too! And now I’m realizing I should have used Crunch on Araquanid instead but it still does good damage!

And yeah, that just leaves the Volbeat! There’s…wait. What was Shelly’s team, again? Illumise, Masquerain, Yanmega, Anorith, Volbeat, and Araquanid. And…I knocked out the Masquerain, and the Anorith, and Illumise and Yanmega just now…

These- These are Shelly’s last two Pokémon. It took me a second to register it because of how stressed I’ve been with all my plans falling apart, but Shelly’s on her last two Pokémon! And one of them is at red HP! Oh my gosh, wait, this is completely possible! I can still win this! I just need to have Crater use Rock Slide again and Riptide can use Crunch, and-

Okay, Shelly used another Hyper Potion, but that’s fine! It means- with the flinch last turn and the healing on this one, Araquanid hasn’t gotten to do anything yet! One more Rock Slide and Crunch combo, c’mon- 

YES! Now it’s just the Volbeat, and all it’s doing is spamming Struggle Bug! And even with the Tail Glow boost, Crater and Riptide live!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN FAILING!? I’M ONLY WINNING THIS FIGHT BY THE SKIN OF MY TEETH!

Previous

Next

[signedkoko]

Hii! Could I get a romantic Hazbin Hotel matchup?

I'm bi with male preference, an ISTP and a Leo

Appearance: 4'11 with waist-long black hair and blue eyes + glasses. i've been told that i look rather cold and unapproachable (and tired cuz of those damn huge dark circles under eyes i have). 99% of times dressed whole in black with slight addition of red or blue + lots of chains as an accessory

About me: Absolutely exhausted comp sci student living off energy drinks and garlic baguettes trying to survive and not lose sanity. Rather aloof, rational and private loner with a sharp tongue. Also unbelievably stubborn and trying to play off as extremely independent when i'm a huge walking mess. Honestly all I need is peace. Peace, headphones and good 12+ hours of sleep. Since I get overwhelmed extremely easily I often have days/weeks when I'm moving much slower and talk more slowly and quietly or don't talk at all. I often hear that I give off "uneasy" vibes (but I am autistic so yeah, checks out). I don't talk much nor engage myself socialy but i will drop a few words or a little pun/joke into a conversation if needed. ppl tend to come to me for advice or just to confess and get a non judgemental opinion/adcise. I'm usually just going around minding my own business, not a huge fan of drama or gossip. I can't read social cues for my dear life so I never know if ppl like me as a friend or want sth more but if I start liking someone I'm suddenly loosing all my cool and get terribly awkward around them and overthink every interaction (while praying they didn't see the change in my behavior). I'm a gif giving & acts of service type of girl since I'm not the best with expressing emotions with words. But I do enjoy teasing and flirting with my friends (but i shut up the second someone actually flirts back cuz i get too flustered) I'm that friend you call at 3AM because u did sth stupid and now u need help (and i will get there, after spending 30min screaming at u for how dumb u are and telling u that there's no way i'm getting out of my house rn)

And a little fun fact about me: i always have a lighter on me. No, i don't smoke but there's always someone who needs a lighter and that's a great way to meet some rly cool ppl

Hobbies: collecting vinyls, astronomy, stargazing, reading, playlisty violin, gemology, long walks, cloudy and rainy weather

Dislikes: eye contact, loud noises, hot temperatures, bright lights, childish & reckless ppl, coffee and alcohol (never grew to like it, don't think i ever will)

Thank you so much in advance! Hope you're doing well and have a great day♡

You got…Husk!

He doesn't know shit about technology, let alone computers, so he may not get your career or your specialties, but he shrugs it off. If anything, it's better that you know because it means he won't have to, and less is always better when it comes to this demon. 

Both of you are very standoffish, and while it took a long time for the two of you to really meet and get along, your 'alone' becomes 'alone together' real quick. 

He's a very sleepy guy, and while he wishes he could sleep all day, he'll settle for half if it means he gets time with you awake and in rest. Husk doesn't have a preference for weather, but he finds that when it rains, you'll stick with him a little longer, so he learns to love it. 

Your jokes and puns are always strangely timed, and they usually catch him off guard. You have a bit of a game going where you try your best jokes when he's busy just to see if he'll laugh. So far, he's winning, but he never wants you to stop trying. It makes his work a lot less boring (or annoying when it comes to the others). 

With his many years as a bartender, he's met all kinds of people. His ability to understand others is almost uncanny, so there's no need for you to express yourself to him in words; he already knows. It just takes one glance for him to get the message. 

Carrying a lighter around when you don't smoke is a bit strange to him, but eventually he starts giving you any of the lighters left behind by barpartons. From bic to intricate zippo lighters. 

Expect a lot of nights helping him close the bar, tasting the mocktails he makes for you, and long evenings spent cuddled up together.

Author’s Note - I hope you enjoy Husk, I really think he'd suit you! Your runner up was Stolas, but you mentioned hazbin so I left that out. Thank you for requesting!

[space-blue]

1, 2, 3, 8, 9, 11

Great selection, this took me a long while to hunt down the answers! From the Fandom end of year ask.

favourite fandom you joined this year

Bit of a cheat because it's a 'sub' fandom, but I'll say Andor (star wars). Avatar is right there, yes, but it doesn't have the oomph of Andor. Avatar has a ton of missing character development, and if the world were more approchable, I'd see myself doing a lot of fix its and missing scenes. Andor is difficult on the other hand because it's so perfect. Hard to feel like I have anything to add to the fandom. But it's the one show I've been rewatching to death and having so much respect for.

favourite fic of the year 

This is basically impossible to piiiiick.

I'll mention Fathers & Daughters, even though it's my own, because you have to goddamn love a fic to spend more than a year slaving over it. And I dooo, and yes I AM working on the final chapter still, soz lol

The hottest smut I've read was Boundaries by Spiced, and well, I did nag about it when we discussed the idea, and it's a gift, but that doesn't change the fact it's the best :3 Very happy with it. It's hot by my ace standards. Basically very mindfuck focused. Fandom is Andor!

And then for multi chapter, I'm going to mention this absolutely insane and amazing FE3H complete fic To Those Who Are Never Going Home by MadameHyde. It's set after the game in an Empire win, where a lot of the Blue Lions find themselves teaching at Garrech Mach. I didn't read the tags so some reveals blew my little brain out of the water, it was amazing. Super prose, very character driven, really enjoyed it.

favourite fanart of the year

I thought this would be hard to answer, and then I realised it wouldn't be, actually, even if I'm cheating. BOTH these Maliketh fanarts have been my screen backgrounds for MONTHS. This one is on my phone and on my better Discord :

And this one is my laptop background :

They're dope and Maliketh is top pubber and I'm still obsessed with him. He's peak design and radiates blorbo energies. He's broken and I wanna fix him and pet him and--

favourite author of the year

@spicedrobot That one isn't too hard. I've read a LOT of their work this year, by vertue of doing a lot of beta swaps, and because they write some very delicious ships. They are responsible for 99% of my smut intake in 2022. Also I think it says a lot about an author that you can beta them every other day and never get tired of their unhinged content. They're just that good. (They are in a constant state of wrangling me over my terrible comma game, so they're also very patient and could have strangled me a long time ago, yet they didn't!)

favourite creator of the year

Very hard choice, especially when it's so broad and I've already struggled with the fanart one… But I'm going to go with :

@aromansoul. I just really love their art, and finding them through a shared Silco obsession was delightful. They have a very unique style, with colours that seem to float and come in and out of focus. You'll be staring at a super rendered area and it's perfect, and then you look elsewhere and realise half the drawing is just broad strokes… Absolutely tricks my mind, it's delightful. Also they have some fantastic unique designs of their own content that I think are dope.

favourite OC you met this year

Ah, finally an easy one! Meet Rain Drenched Mountain. He's @scuttlebuttin's Predator OC and he's very sweet. I love his design, his lore, and I think he has great taste. Very handsome lad and each time I see more art of him I feel like a little kid. I mean, Scuttlebuttin is a big favourite artist, and where they're not in a very very distressing blood-gore-clown period, I'm always thrilled to see what they post. Just check out their Odin fanart for the new God Of War, it's out of this world!!

[impishcupid]

The newest IOS update is a HUGE win for the disabled community

this is gonna be like 90% infodumping, but I LOVE all the new accessibility features! IOS 17 is projected to be released at sometime in September, but I wanna get my grubby hands on it NOW

The General Stuff

They’re updating the phone app and messages, allowing fun banners to be added to contacts when they’re calling you! As well adding better search filters to messages, and a heap of other stuff! Check out this link for the full update notes and details

2. Live Voicemail

Apple is taking it back to the days of answering machines, now as people leave voicemails it will show a transcript on the caller interface, allowing you to pick up the phone mid-voicemail and accept the call! Perfect for users with social anxiety bunking new numbers!

3. Check In

Users will be able to set a list of contacts, as well as a location, and when they hit the location it will send a mass alert to everyone in the set list, detailing where you are, what time it is, and you can choose for it to even say your battery level! Of course this is useful even for able people, but as someone who faints and sometimes forgets to send check ins to my mom, I’m so excited for this!!

4. Audio Message Transcriptions

HUGE win for the deaf and HOH community!!! Now, voice messages will include a transcript directly underneath that will try its best to provide subtitles! The first of many wins for the deaf community!

5. Hand Gestures

There’s a bunch of new stuff for facetime, but this one is my favorite. You’ll be able to set on-screen reactions (the example they used was confetti) when your hands preform a certain action, which i’m 99% sure will have to be configured by the user. If that’s the case, those who use sign language will be able to create reactions to specific signs! I can’t wait to set mine to rain confetti when signing congratulations, or hearts when signing Love! Of course it’s available to both abled and disabled people, but the possibilities!!

6. Airdrop

WOW they added so much to airdrop! This feature alone may be what pushes me to get my mom an iPhone. In the new update, you’ll be able to share information by simply tapping your iphones together (Ive been calling it applepaying data)

You can tap a new friends phone to send them your contact, and fancy banner (mentioned above)! You can also now just tap phones together to share general data, like multiple photos from your camera roll or a link!

This is all done with end-to-end encryption, which makes it a bitch and a half for anyone malicious to try to decrypt

7. Journal

OKAY APPLE I SEE YOU! Journal is like the love child of the health app and siri suggestions- it uses machine learning to pinpoint what your average routine is; your jogging route, your work playlist, even your favorite reaction meme can be turned into suggestions to add to your entry in the journal app!

The idea is to help build routine- which myself as an autistic have so many issues trying to do- and promote better mental health. They’re doubling down in their health app update, but that’s coming up!

The best part of the journaling app, is that it’s TRULY private. Once you’ve set your password, not even apple can see the data you’ve stored. This data is not sold to anyone, because they can’t even read it.

8. Airpods

for the full tech jargon explanation, look at the apple website!

Airpods will now be adapting to different noise levels! If you’re wearing your airpods in a crowd, it will kick in with noise-cancelling (as best a small earbud can)! However if someone starts talking to you while noise cancelling is active, airpods will evaluate the best mix of noise-cancelling and media volume to ensure you can hear the person talking!

9. Maps

i’m unsure how this one may help the disabled community, but I figure it’s an honorable mention! Maps will now let you download a specific area TOTK style, and allow that map/route to be used offline! Perfect for hiking trails or roadtrips with dead zones! As well, Maps will now alert users where charging stations may be along their route!

10. THE GRAND SLAM BABY (Visual Lookup)

PEOPLE WITH VISION LOSS SUFFER NO MORE!

It’s unsure if this will be used with live camera, or if you have to take a photo of the Thing, but when IOS 14 drops they’re introducing Visual Lookup! This feature will read out any text selected (perfect for signs or small text), as well you can look up specific items in the photo! Plant enthusiasts can identify the plant in a youtube video, fungi fun-guys can look up if this mushroom will kill you or just make you see God! I’m excited to use this feature with my mom, who sometimes has difficulty reading small text but can get embarrassed when it’s read to her!

11. Sensitive content

Yes! Your very own Iphone blacklist! It’ll scan all incoming data for your set Sensitive content, and much like Tumblr will pop up a “are you sure?” window!

12. The Health App

Finally, the one that will help everyone everywhere. Health will now let you choose your current mood, your daily mood, and general mental state. The best part of this, is Apple will be adding legitimate mental health assessments into the app (taken at your convenience), making it the closest to a real diagnosis without a doctor! You’ll be able to save a PDF of your results to share with your care team/doctor!

As well, if you’re in crisis, apple will now send you articles and resources regarding your crisis!

And the cherry on top of this update, is med reminders! Apple will ping your phone, your watch, anything to tell you it’s medication time! You can log several medications with several times to take them!

that’s all folks!

In conclusion, despite apples cash grab approach and complete monopoly over the tech industry, these features will be life changing to some disabled iphone carriers! I know i’m over the moon for some of them, and I’m already babbling to everyone with apple about them!

[sumi-sprite]

I LOVE these, let's goooo!

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

Currently: Omeluum (BG3), Blurg (BG3, Omeluum's husband you can fight me on it), WD Gaster (UTDR), Pitch Black (RotG), SCP 049 (SCP), SCP 035 (SCP, 049's dubious partner, fight me behind the Wendy's). Probably a few more but I'm still waking up lo

2. lighter or matches?

Probably lighter...I have a bunch of nice ones from ZIPPO, but I like the striking of matches. very satisfying.

3. do you leave the window open at night?

In summer, YES. I live in the desert TwT

4. which cryptyd being do you believe in?

Honestly, kind of all of them?

5. what color are your eyes?

Brown!

6. why did you do that?

WHO TOLD YOU?! @prinx-quail I WILL FUCK YOU UP IF YOU RATTED ME OUT-!

7. hair-ties or scrunchies?

Scrunchies. I have to. My hair is too thick/heavy for regular ties. My hair EATS them.

8. how many water bottles are in your room right now?

Two, though one is in use, the other is plastered with stickers and basically a decoration right now lol

9. which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

I can't drink coffee, it makes my tummy upset TwT Love the smell of it though!

10. would you slaughter the rich?

Absolutely.

11. favorite extracurricular activity?

Currently don't have one, but I did volunteer work at the county morgue when I was in community college. HIGHLY recommend it if you're curious out forensics, the medical/post-mortem fields, or you're just curious. Sadly my favorite pathologist left and things got tense with the workload, so I also left.

12. what kind of day is it?

A bit cloudy right now, and VERY warm. The monsoons are on their way!

13. when was the last time you ate?

Last night? I had a protein drink this morning, but I'm not sure that counts.

14. do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

WHO DOESN'T??

15. are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

Of a kitty cat, yes~

16. can you drive?

Yes!

17. are you farsighted or nearsighted?

VERY nearsighted QwQ

18. what hair products do you use?

I'm kind of between products trying to find a good one. I used to order function of beauty custom shampoo/conditioner, but it got expensive.

19. imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

Sure!

20. do you say soda or pop?

Soda. I think "pop" is more of an east coast term, and I've always lived on or near the west coast.

21. something you’ve kept since childhood?

I have the original hasbro Mewtwo plushie from '99! That poor thing has been through SO much hell. Tantrums, pool parties, snuggling, strangling from frustration, lost like 3 whole times, dog slobber, and one instance of when build-a-bear became huge and I decided I needed to put a heart in him to make him "real". He's lost his "chest plate" and the back recently got the 20+yo stitching replaced! He always has a place on my bookshelf.

22. what type of person are you?

I'm still figuring that out, but overall, I think I'm a good person!

22. how do you feel about chilly weather?

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!! All of you who say hot/warm weather is better are wrong.

23. if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

I don't know, just hanging out I guess? lol

24. perfume/body spray or lotion?

Lotion. My skin is super sensitive and dry, perfumes and sprays often irritate it sadly TwT

25. a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

In my head? Oh geez...classic shower thought scenarios. Man I should have said THIS to that person X years ago. Winning arguments with a mic drop moment. I'm pretty sure everyone does this lol

26. about how many hours of sleep did you get?

About...9 hours I think? I get WAY more sleep in summer since the heat makes me drowsy. Fall and winter is when I'm an early bird.

27. do you wear a mask?

Sadly not as often as I should, though I know I'd be safer doing so whenever I go out.

28. how do you like your shower water?

It kind of depends? I go for fairly warm/hot usually, but sometime I just want a cool shower because I want to cool off or just vibe.

29. is there dishes in your room?

Nope! (I had to look around to be sure lol)

30. what type of music keeps you grounded?

Lofi or ambience music. I usually listen to dark academia when I need to focus or get into a specific mood.

31. do you have a favorite towel?

No, not really. Whatever's clean/dry?

32. the last adventure you’ve been on?

I sadly can't recall off the top of my head. I'm a bit of a homebody, but I want to travel. I'm just broke.

33. is there a song you know every word to by heart?

Dark On Me by Starset! I often played this song when I left my evening classes and just belted the longer and drawn out lyrics to keep me awake.

34. what’s your timezone?

MST!

35. how many times have you changed your url?

I think once...?

36. someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

A couple very good friends of mine! We all met through fanfiction ironically, and have met IRL!

37. a soap bar that smells good?

I...don't know, I don't use soap bars lol

38. do you use lip balm?

All the time. I have to if I want to not have a mummy mouth out here in the desert lol

39. did you have any snacks today?

Not yet but boy do I want some...

40. how do you take your coffee?

I can't drink coffee TwT

41. an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

Oof...I admit, I play Time Princess nearly daily.

42. what’s your take on spicy foods?

I'm the worst mexican. I can't stand spicy food, BUT! I am very slowly working my way into enjoying very mild spice. My tastes have been evolving recently so I call that growth! Though I doubt I'll get to my dad's level. He's the "hurts so good", "make me regret everything", absolutely wants to scream in the bathroom, sweating over his green curry kind of spicy.

43. you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

A certain previous presidential candidate currently facing like, three dozen felonies (last I checked).

44. can you remember what happened yesterday?

Not...much because I really didn't do much yesterday. I was just hanging out at my computer lol

45. favorite holiday film?

Hands down, Nightmare Before Christmas! A classic for two holidays!

46. what was the last message you sent?

Texting my dad I'm at the store and if he wants anything lol

47. when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

Gods, it was...2021? I was way above drinking age, but I just never had a desire for or interest in alcohol. I've tasted beer and hated the taste. Same with wine. But my first time drinking and FINISHING a drink was when we were at olive garden and I got the spiked strawberry lemonade! I could BARELY taste the vodka, so it was enjoyable.

48. can you skip rocks?

I can if I find the right ones!

49. can i tag you in random stuff?

Sure!

This was fun! I tag whoever wants to dot his lol

(Also I realize there's 50 questions and I ended on 49. I cannot for the life of me figure out where I missed any questions or miscounted qwq)

here’s weirder asks

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

lighter or matches?

do you leave the window open at night?

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

what color are your eyes?

why did you do that?

hair-ties or scrunchies?

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

would you slaughter the rich?

favorite extracurricular activity?

what kind of day is it?

when was the last time you ate?

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

can you drive?

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

what hair products do you use?

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

do you say soda or pop?

something you’ve kept since childhood?

what type of person are you?

how do you feel about chilly weather?

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

perfume/body spray or lotion?

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

do you wear a mask?

how do you like your shower water?

is there dishes in your room?

what type of music keeps you grounded?

do you have a favorite towel?

the last adventure you’ve been on?

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

what’s your timezone?

how many times have you changed your url?

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

a soap bar that smells good?

do you use lip balm?

did you have any snacks today?

how do you take your coffee?

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

what’s your take on spicy foods?

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

can you remember what happened yesterday?

favorite holiday film?

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

can you skip rocks?

can i tag you in random stuff?

[weaversweek]

22 "Steal my sunshine" - Len

writers Gregg Diamond & Marc Costanzo

"When I hear the song now it makes me laugh. It makes me smile. It takes me back to that time. I know how I felt. When people play it I dance to it. Two weeks ago I ended up at a bar and it was karaoke night and Steal My Sunshine was in the book, so I said let's do it!" - Marc Costanzo

Part of the UncoolTwo50 project, marking the best singles from 1977-99.

Canadian pop had a rich vein of form in the late 90s. After the international success of Sarah MacLachlan and Alanis Morissette, and the breakout of Barenaked Ladies, record companies came to the frozen north with their chequebooks in hand. Performers like Sloan, Chantal Kreviazuk, Great Big Sea, Amanda Marshall, and the Matthew Good Band were snapped up and marketed internationally. Most of them came back with their tails between their legs.

One song did escape past the 49th. "Steal my sunshine" sounded like nothing else on the radio - out went lush production, in came a knocking sound. It's the drum beat on a sample of "More more more", over which this guy is talking about - well, he's talking about something, but it doesn't make much sense. Probably what they did when they were a bit tipsy last night. It's a boppy, poppy soundtrack, though when we do get to hear it, the lyric seems rather dark.

An inescapable summer jam in Canada, which explains why it came out over here a few weeks before the millennium parties. Sounded way cool, a bright blast of summer heat in the chill and damp of December. Siblings Marc and Sharon Costanzo were noticeably cool towards each other in promo appearances - I can't find their snappy interview on SM:TV.

Inevitably, this sort of rollerblading white rap wasn't going to be a lasting proposition, but we cannot fault the group for taking $750,000 of Dreamworks' money in case they ever came up with another hit. Rest of the album You Can't Stop the Bum Rush is very different, and pretty damned good.

After the band split, Marc went on to head EMI Music Publishing, signing acts like Sum 41 - featuring his party buddy Deryck Whibley.

Some other recommendations for late-century Canadiana, starting with the ones who almost broke worldwide…

"Money city maniacs" was Sloan's international launch single.

"Before you" gave Chantal Kreviazuk a spot on my 500-song longlist.

"Run runaway" - a Slade cover - was Great Big Sea's near-hit.

"Let it rain" is Amanda Marshall's best-remembered single.

"Load me up" called the Matthew Good Band.

Sky should have been huge, "Love song" was promoted at .gb radio, but programmers were more interested in repetitive dance.

I had the pleasure of seeing Kim Stockwood perform an acoustic set in early 1999; the Newfoundland singer's 12 years old could have been on an episode of Dawson's Creek. Longlisted.

Susan Aglukark was also touring at the time; "One turn deserves another" is one of those songs I've never quite been able to get out of my head - this was on an episode of Dawson's Creek.

Back to "Steal my sunshine", which was nominated for the Best Single award at the Juno Awards. Didn't win, lost to "Bobcaygeon" by The Tragically Hip; I still don't agree with the award, but I can certainly see why the elderly Juno voters preferred it, and "Bobcaygeon" has become a proper cultural touchstone.

[sportsgr8]

WPL 2024: With Aims Clearly In Sight, Shweta Sehrawat Eager To Capitalize On Dream-like Run

Equal Hue Cricket Excellence Programme: At first glance, Shweta Sehrawat seems like a regular teenager who enjoys watching movies and playing games in her free time, as well as partaking in fun activities such as going on outings outside Delhi or doing some shopping. However, if you consider her recent achievements in cricket over the past year and a half, Shweta is anything but an ordinary teenager. There's a rare sense of excitement and clarity in the right-handed batter's voice when she discusses how performing as a leader brings out her best. Shweta’s first tryst with taking up the leadership mantle came as the captain of Delhi U19 side and leading India U19 ‘B’ team in Challenger Trophy. It was followed by leading the side to wins in the quadrangular series featuring Sri Lanka and West Indies, as well as a series win over New Zealand in Mumbai, before Shafali Verma led the team in tri-series in South Africa and in the U19 World Cup. “I believe I put up good performances when I am entrusted with leadership roles, as I really like taking that responsibility of the team on my shoulders. Plus, there’s also a feeling within me that ‘If I bat on from one end, then others can bat around me’, which is why I really like to thrive as a batter with a leadership responsibility,” says Shweta in a free-wheeling chat with IANS, facilitated by UP Warriorz. Over the past one-and-a-half years, Shweta has rapidly climbed the ladder of success in women's cricket. She scored 297 runs with an outstanding average of 99. Moreover, she emerged as the top run-scorer in India’s triumphant 2023 U19 Women's T20 World Cup campaign, leaving a lasting impression with her unbeaten 92 off just 57 balls against hosts South Africa. UP Warriorz picked Shweta for the inaugural WPL season last year, but she managed just 34 runs from six games. Due to constant shuffling, her batting position was never stable, and was even left out of the side. Shweta then skippered India ‘A’ to winning the Emerging Women’s Asia Cup in Hong Kong, where constant rain meant the side got to play only two matches. “The last one and a half years has been an absolute dream time for me - the U19 World Cup win, especially when the country hadn’t got a global trophy in women’s cricket. For me, that was the best-ever feeling and is still very memorable.” “Then bringing the Emerging Women’s Asia Cup trophy as a leader is also a memorable moment. Also, I performed very well in the senior tournaments in domestic cricket. So, everything is on track and WPL in hand has made me feel like it’s kinda been a dreamlike time for me and it feels really good,” she says. Two years before becoming a member of India’s U19 World Cup squad, Shweta had a poster in her room that read, “World Cup Champion!”. Asked about her latest poster, her leader-like clarity strikes again. “There’s a poster, but it’s on my phone. It’s a poster about the 2025 Women’s ODI World Cup in India, the aim to play in that tournament.” While WPL 2023 didn't result in a bucket full of runs for her, Shweta gained crucial knowledge on how to overcome her shyness and become a more effective communicator. “I am a bit of a shy nature, so in the first season of WPL, it became a little difficult for me to communicate initially.” “I wasn’t opening up about talks around the game and I learnt from WPL 2023 that how to initiate that communication, put forward your thoughts and express yourself in such a way that you get the solution you are looking for. I got a lot of help in terms of communication and in cricketing terms, I learnt a lot of new things from the players as well as Jon (Lewis, head coach) sir and Ashley (Noffke, bowling coach).” Whenever she opened the batting in the yellow and purple jersey of the Warriorz, Shweta partnered with Australia skipper Alyssa Healy at the top. “I didn’t talk much with her, but then I used to see a lot of her batting at the nets and there were some shots coming off her bat which I was seeing constantly. I used to stand behind her when she was practising her batting and would observe how she would be inventive in her strokeplay,” she recalls. Shweta also learned how to prepare for matches and the game-related scenarios from her time with the Warriorz. “Our practice sessions are very specific, like we are given different match-related situations.” “Thing is, if we get solutions of tacking those game-related situations in practice and handle the pressure associated with it, then it becomes easier to get to grips about it when that happens in an actual match. Through this, we become aware about facing situations like that in the match and how to react to it.” Shweta comes into WPL 2024 on the back of a stellar run in the recent domestic cricket season for Delhi. Armed with an ability to pick gaps with ease and play shots all around the park, Shweta was 11th in the run-scorers list of senior women’s T20 trophy with 229 runs in six innings at an average of 45.80 and a strike-rate of 122.45, including hitting two fifties. In the senior women’s one-day trophy, Shweta was the tournament’s top run-scorer with 462 runs in eight innings at an average of 66 and strike-rate of 110.79, smashing two fifties and a jaw-dropping 242 against Nagaland at the MECON Ground in Ranchi. In between, she bagged the Most Promising Athlete of the Year award by GoSports Foundation, who support her and 12 other cricketers, including Titas Sadhu and Kashvee Gautam, through the Equal Hue Cricket Excellence Programme. “My batting approach is generally attacking. If I get a ball to hit early on, I will hit that ball hard for a boundary and I don’t hesitate in doing that. The most special thing about that knock was that people generally think that teams like that are a bit light to play against. But I feel that no team is to be taken lightly in the domestic season.” “The best thing about that knock was I played in such a manner that I didn’t give them any chance to get me out in any way. Apart from that, the other most-liked aspect of that knock for me was batting for a long duration and remaining focused all the time,” recalls Shweta. Mandeep Kaur, Delhi’s fielding coach, was one of the few fortunate persons at the ground to see Shweta’s astonishing 242, laced with 31 fours and seven sixes. “It was extraordinary; she was very dominating, very confident, it was a totally different knock from her bat.” “From the very first ball, she looked to score and was hitting at every ball coming her way. In cricket we say, ‘once you get the chance, just score on and on’, she played that kind of knock that day. It was a special knock to witness since it was a chanceless one,” she said to IANS. Shweta credits her improved fitness during the domestic season for her impressive performances. “I did a lot of ground work and gym-related activities this time for a longer duration, due to which my endurance and speed levels have increased.” To improve herself as a batter, Shweta watches countless batting videos of Ellyse Perry and Danni Wyatt, who is now part of her team at Warriorz. “I really like Danni’s shots over covers, which look very amazing. I really adore Perry’s consistency and how in every match she remains so focused to put up consistent performances. Plus her fielding skills are a big plus point.” Asked if she’s met Danni yet to learn about the art of her shots over covers, Shweta bursts into a laugh and says, “With Danni now in my team, I will definitely ask her about how she plays those shots over covers. I had just met her by the pool side, but I didn’t have the courage to go and talk to her, so I haven’t met her yet. I just hope to meet and speak to her in the coming days.” Shweta, also an English honors student, appreciates the role of family, friends, and coaches in maintaining a balance between cricket and studies. “Initially it was tough, as I attended only last seven days of the NCA camp (for the U19 team) due to Board exams.” “But then I put in good performances, including hitting a century and people there saw potential in me, so they took me in the team. As of now, my studies are online, so the slots are adjusted online as per the timings. For me, reaching here at this stage, the environment back home matters a lot.” Playing for the Warriorz in WPL 2023 allowed Shweta to get a glimpse towards being flexible with her batting position based on the team's needs. With her coach Dipti Dhyani's advice, she is eager to give it her all in the upcoming season. “It depends on team combination and as per what the team’s needs are with regards to my batting position. I always look to be at my best and contribute for the team wherever possible which goes in a positive way.” “Wherever I bat or play matches, whether it’s WPL or domestic cricket, the intention has always been to perform to the best of abilities and make the team win, after that, its upto the selectors. The best advice I got from Dipti mam was ‘one should always follow their routines and, irrespective of what the result is, give your 100% to anything you set out to do’.” According to Shweta, playing in her hometown of Delhi during the second half of WPL 2024 will be a lot of fun. “When I played in front of a packed crowd in WPL 2023, I was very nervous. But I will be fine this time. It will be a lot of fun when the WPL matches will happen in Delhi, as all my family members will come and enjoy a lot.” Mandeep first spotted Shweta in the Delhi senior team during the domestic season hit by Covid-19. The sight of her scoring a century in a match convinced Mandeep that the youngster is bound for greatness. “She’s a great fielder too; she mostly fields at mid-on, but is capable of fielding anywhere in outfield and infield.” “Shweta’s form has been really good as an opener. She’s a very good and formidable player who doesn’t play slow on the wicket and maintains her strike-rate well. So I wish to see her continue in the same vein in the WPL, like she did for Delhi in the domestic season, so that she can reach greater heights in women’s cricket.” Read the full article

[takataktop]

IND vs AUS: India Wins Seventh One-Day Series Against Australia, Ashwin-Jadeja Shine After Iyer-Gill

With the series victory, India has turned the tables on Australia in this year's one-day series. Earlier this year, Australia had defeated India 2-1 in a three-match one-day series in March. The third and final match of the current series between the two teams will be played in Rajkot on Wednesday, September 27.

India secured a series win against Australia by winning all three one-day matches. In the second match played at Holkar Stadium in Indore on Sunday, September 24, India won by 99 runs based on the Duckworth-Lewis method due to rain affecting the match. This marks India's seventh victory in bilateral one-day series against Australia. The last time they had defeated the Kangaroos was in a three-match series at their home ground in 2020, winning 2-1. In addition to the series win, India has avenged their one-day series loss to Australia earlier this year. In March, Australia had beaten India 2-1 in a three-match one-day series. The third and final match of the current series between the two teams will be played in Rajkot on Wednesday, September 27. Australia Restrained at 213 Runs Speaking of the match, Australia won the toss and chose to bowl first. India scored 399 runs for the loss of five wickets in their 50 overs. Due to rain, Australia had a revised target of 317 runs in 33 overs according to the Duckworth-Lewis method. The Kangaroo team was bowled out for 213 runs in 28.2 overs. India's Highest Score Against Australia In this one-day match, India achieved their highest score against Australia. Prior to this, India's highest score against Australia in ODIs was 383 runs, which they achieved in November 2013 in Bangalore. Moreover, this marks India's seventh-highest score in all one-day internationals. India's highest ODI score is 418/5 runs, which they scored against West Indies in December 2011 in Indore. This also happens to be India's second-highest score at the Indore ground. Shubman and Shreyas Shine with the Bat For India, Shubman Gill scored 104 runs off 97 balls, Shreyas Iyer made 105 runs off 90 balls, and captain KL Rahul contributed with 52 runs off 38 balls. Meanwhile, Suryakumar Yadav played a blistering innings towards the end, scoring 72 runs off 37 balls, including six boundaries and six sixes. Ravindra Jadeja managed 13 runs, while he and Yadav shared a 44-run partnership in just 24 balls. India scored 54 runs in the last five overs of their innings. Cameron Green took two wickets for Australia, while Josh Hazlewood, Sean Abbott, and Adam Zampa each claimed one wicket. Ashwin and Jadeja Dominate with the Ball For Australia, Sean Abbott scored 54 runs, and David Warner made 53 runs. Marnus Labuschagne contributed 27 runs, and Josh Hazlewood scored 23 runs. Cameron Green added 19 runs, and Alex Carey made 14 runs. Matthew Short scored nine runs, Josh Inglis made six runs, and Adam Zampa scored five runs before getting out. Captain Steve Smith couldn't open his account. Ravichandran Ashwin and Ravindra Jadeja delivered a stellar bowling performance for India, each taking three wickets. Krishna, who is known as Shardul Thakur, took two wickets, and Mohammed Shami claimed one. Indore Records Seventh Consecutive Victory India has continued its impressive streak in Indore, where they have now won seven consecutive matches. The last time they played a one-day international here was in 2006, and they have never faced a defeat in seven ODIs at this venue. Additionally, India secured their second victory against Australia at the Holkar Stadium in Indore. In 2017, Team India defeated the Kangaroos by five wickets. Return of Rohit, Kohli, and Hardik For the third match of the series, regular captain Rohit Sharma, star batsman Virat Kohli, and all-rounder Hardik Pandya will be back in the Indian team. Along with the World Cup squad, Ravichandran Ashwin and Washington Sundar will also be present. Both Ashwin and Sundar will have another trial before the World Cup. If injured Axar Patel is not fit, either Ashwin or Sundar may be selected for the World Cup." Read the full article

[meganuzlockediary]

Pokemon Emerald Finale!

So Emerald is complete! For what was almost a blind Nuzlocke this was reaaally hard! I lost a lot of pokemon all thr way through and I feel kinda bad for using a cheap strategy to finish the league. Its no Shedinja but I think I needed the guanteed win.

I actually retried the league by not saving avoiding using Linoone strategies.

Sydney went find thanks to fake out, bulk up and brickbreak from Hariyama. Not much of a challenge. I used the same sharpedo strat successfully against Phoebe. Glacia was also not terrible. I started with Lanturn with great success eventually switched into Hariyama to finish the rest of the team. It was Drake where things went wrong. Not having a good answer for Kingdra was an issue eventually I used Swampert to deal with him and switch back into sharpedo to deal with salamence and flygon. Surprisingly it wasnt terrible but I did lose Swampert in the process.

Last but not least Wallace went very well all things considered. I started with a confuse ray which prevented wailord setting up rain or using other moves. So I could take it out with 2 thunderbolts, Whiscash was not an issue either however Ludicolo was the dangerous one! A giga drain took out lanturn which meant I had no good counter. It begain to double team a bunch and slowly wipe out my pokemon until linoone was left. A belly drum and some returns finished the job.

This was played not seriously in about 10 minutes on speed mode so I would like to think it would have gon better with proper strats and consideration. In the end I think I would have pulled through but Linoone was easier.

Overall it was a fun game but it is aging quite obviously and my lack of familiarity and nostalgia for it made it a bit of a grind at times. I would have loved playing it in a non nuzlocke setting and at times I did think about changing rules but I did make it through.

Now I'm heading into one of the toughest sections of this nuzlocke gauntlet. The Sinnoh and Unova games are supposed to be quite hard. Fortunately these were the first games I played and so my familiarity is at its peak! I am excited to move into the sinnoh games should be fun!

Games complete: 5

Pokemon used: 99!

Pokemon Defeated: 23

[traveltrainsandcoffee]

FFL WORLD CUP 2022 REVIEW

Well this really was going to be a strange and controversial world cup. First of all Qatar bribed FIFA to get it, Then it was moved to winter for the first time. Then all kinds of human right abuse started to surface. Hundreds, probably thousands of migrate workers died building it. Women seemed to be treated as 2nd class and LGBT worse. Even players protests were labelled ‘political’ and stopped. Then there was the slightly bazar Qatari rent a crowd. Then the now normal chaos of VAR and mega time added on. The president of FIFA gave a very strange speech, seemingly telling the world they shouldn’t blame Qatar for its human rights issues. Even the attendance at the games seemed off.

As the start approached the FFL teams started to come in. This would be defending FFL World Cup champion Kev Dillon’s swansong before retiring from it. Tappy was top of the FFL, could he feature.0 What about Our Grimsby Roma who in May had smashed World records. Kieron Mullin and The Hawk always do well. New manager Holly Shakeshaft and Blessing Charumbira and the return of Matt Rushton. In total 29 teams entered. The normal chaos with Team Aroma as two different baristas tried to pick the German manager their team. Blessing must have sent about 10 different drafts. So many key players missing, plus a late withdrawal of Benzema.

20th of November and I was sat in the Flying Circus drinking a big Stein of German beer putting the league together. The deadline passed and as I was travelling back from Newark on a packed rail replacement bus in the pouring rain I had the first game on the radio. Ecuador beat the host's 2 nil. The next day England played Iran. Sitting in a wet cold beer garden at The Mailbox, England took Iran apart 6v2. However this game will also unfortunately be remembered for TAREMI-GATE, With so many teams flooding in in the last few days and my knowledge of Iranian football not being up to scratch I hadn’t noticed that Blessing had him as a midfielder. Taremi scored twice and after lots of arguments it was agreed he would be classed as a forward. Bale scored for Wales against America. Japan beat Germany and Saudi Arabia beat Argentina. The first full table had Gareth Dyke, Kev Dillon, The Knightrider and Mark Kiska join top. 5 managers had less points than they started with.

The second round started with more charity money from me as Qatar lost again. England had a disappointing goalless draw with America, me and Shann watched that one in The still of all places. I watched Poland win with a group of Polish lads in the beer garden of the mailbox. Then watched a funny ‘Where is Messi? ‘Video with an Arab lad in Aroma. Saturday Argentina fired back against Mexico. Messi was definitely back. Bad news for Bob Martins and Belgium, Morocco beat them. Monday night and Ronaldo scored with a header, but on closer inspection, he didn’t touch it and the goal went to Fernandes. By the end of round two The Hawk was top, with The Knightrider second. Mark Kiszka, Kieron Mullin and Our Grimsby Roma, Tappy and Disco just behind them.

The final round of group games started and Qatar were gone. I donated a pound to both ActionAid and Stonewall for each goal they conceded. Round to £10 each. I watched England brush aside Wales in the Crow’s Nest. Germany beat Costa Rica, but VAR in the other game overturned the ref. The ball seemed to go out, but thanks to VAR Japan scored and Germany for the second world cup running were out at the group stage. 99% of the country were delighted, I wasn’t. This round also saw the end of Belgium, Denmark and Chewy Saurez’s Uruguay. Ghana’s government strangely started talking about Harry Mcguire in parliament. Mark Kiszka was now top of the league, Kieron second, Ollie Taylor-Yassin 3rd, The Hawk 4th and The Knightrider 5th. 3 former FFL world cup winners were in the bottom 3. Holly Shakeshaft had lost her whole forward line.

Round 4 seemed to be all goals, dancing, excitement and Roy Keane moaning. Morocco were still there, their Keeper and U2 lead singer Bono helped send Spain home on Pens. England beat Senegal. Holly started to regret picking so many Liverpool players. Mark Kiszka was now on 39 points 2 better than Kieron, with The Knightrider and The Hawk just behind. Chris Geoghegan was bottom with 4 points less than he started with.

The last 8 and things started to hot up, when maybe in Qatar, it was bloody freezing in the UK, who remembers World Cups in hot sunny beer gardens? Well I watched Brazil go out on pens to Croatia on my phone sat outside Aroma on a very cold night. Argentina beat The Netherlands and Morocco pulled off another shock, sending Portugal and Ronaldo out. Then the big one, England v France. On a very cold night we went to the Jolly Brewer to watch the match in a heated marque. A combination of French skill, poor ref, very poor VAR and sadly Kane blasting over bar was enough to send England out. The scores took a bit of a beating, Kieron was 1 point better than Mark and 4 ahead of The Knightrider. At the Bottom Chris Geoghegan was still in a negative score. Things were so bad Blessing started praying for him.

Somehow the World Cup bravely carried on without England into the semi-finals. Messi and Argentina were too strong for Croatia, while France ended Morocco’s dream. A great couple of games saw Chris score big and move off the bottom, maybe the praying worked. Senol was now bottom. Kieron now had 40 points and 1 point lead over Mark Kiszka. Kieron was favourite to now win the World Cup.

The final, what game, Argentina two up and cruising to an easy win. Kieron was top and looking good, Mark needed his Argentina defender Martinez to come on to stand any chance of winning it, For 80 minutes it was just like that. Then everything changed. Mbappe scored and Kieron’s lead was gone. One minute later and he scored again. Now Mark was in the driving seat. However one substitution could change everything. Messi scored again Extra time. All the goals flying in saw The Knightrider and the Hawk drifted away from the top. Gareth Dyke had a great final day and finished a brilliant 3rd. Mbappe scored a third and joined Geoff Hurst in the history books. Argentina didn’t make the change and the World Cup winner was Mark Kiska, with a record 49 points. Kieron Mullin came second. Tappy 4th and Paul Taylor 5th. Kev Dillon finished 12th in his final FFL (always welcome for a comeback one day). The Knightrider drifted on the final day and finished 9th. The highest placed female manager was Sally Sands in 8th. All the excitement and goals in the final saw Steve Tatham finish last. From winning Euro FFL 2020 to bottom at the World Cup. The Italy of FFL.

Argentina won the world cup on penalties. In the end it really was Messi’s World Cup. It sad to think it will most likely be the last World Cup for Messi, Ronaldo and Modric. Mbappe won the Golden Boot. When you base it purely on sport it was an amazing World Cup, Great game, lots of goals and a great final, however it’s impossible to ignore the human rights abuse and corruption involved in this world cup.

So that’s it, back to the FFL, see you for the Euros in 18 months.

2 Final thoughts.

Firstly would Argentina have won the World Cup if they hadn’t lost their opening game to Saudi Arabia?

Secondly what if Haaland had chosen to play for the country of his birth?

MT

[butchelves]

Alright I’m back from the bookstore here is my list so far. Most of the front facing published fanfiction books were straight romances and quite frankly I didn’t want to put in a huge amount of effort to look so there’s only gonna be 2 books for now. I’m gonna write the title down, then the cover, then the plot synopsis, then my thoughts

1) Fall for Him by Andie Burke

Plot synopsis: Dylan Gallagher’s hot neighbor loathed him from the second he moved in, and causing a flood, falling through the floor, and landing directly onto that same neighbor’s bed probably means that’s unlikely to change. The poorly timed “It’s Raining Men” joke didn’t help.

Meanwhile, ER nurse Derek Chang’s life is a literal when-rains-it-pours nightmare. A man he hates dropped into his life along with an astronomically expensive problem originating from Derek’s own apartment’s plumbing. Also, the local HOA tyrant has been sniffing around trying to fine him for his extended, illicit banned breed dog-sitting.

Since Dylan also wants to keep the catastrophe quiet, he offers to fix the damage himself. Dylan’s sure he’s not Derek’s type, so he focuses all his ADHD hyper fixation energy on getting the repair job done as quickly as possible―avoiding doing anything stupid like acting on his very inconvenient crush. Meanwhile Derek tries to ignore that the tattooed nerd sleeping on the couch is surprisingly witty, smart, and kind, despite the long-term grudge Derek’s been holding against him. But will squeezing all their emotional baggage plus a dog into a tiny one-bedroom apartment be a major disaster…or just prove they’re made for each other?

My thoughts: I’m like 99% sure I’ve read a fic with this plot before. Also I read the first chapter of it (it was like 3 pages) and yeah it’s. It’s pretty damn close. The mc that fell through the ceiling also has adhd. Which I think a lot of people forget is fanon because it’s such a popular headcanon for Lance. Anyways this one’s pretty blatant but holds nothing to

2) How to Bite Your Neighbor and Win a Wager by D. N. Bryn

(Had to include the back cover too to really drive this one home)

Plot synopsis: Vincent Barnes has suffered four years as a vampire, and they’ve been the most miserable years of his pathetic life. Too poor for black market blood, he feeds from sleeping humans to survive. He tries to never intrude on the same prey twice, but after a single delicious taste of a long-lost childhood neighbor, he can’t help returning for seconds.

Wesley Garcia has been waking up with fang marks. Lucky for him, he needs a vampire—to use as bait. He’s certain Vitalis-Barron Pharmaceutical killed his mother, but to gain access to their covert research labs, he has to bring them a bloodsucker for their experiments.

Step one, a dramatic offer: Stay, and you can bite me.

Vincent leaps at the chance to gobble Wesley up.

Wes’s plan is perfect. He’ll befriend the vampire, then trick him into coming to the lab. No fighting, no fuss. But Vincent is more than Wesley has bargained for: sweet and shy, with intoxicating fangs that awaken new desires in Wes. As the two bond, Vincent believes he might have finally found someone worth putting his trust in... and Wes fears neither of them will survive the betrayal he has planned.

My thoughts: so this one. This one is pretty blatant. It has everything. Bisexual Latino main character who’s really into skincare. Sad guy with fingerless gloves. Enemies to lovers. Silly little bets all throughout the book. Even a possible dirty laundry reference! It’s crazy. And just to be clear I say none of this disparagingly I’m absolutely obsessed with this concept of fully just publishing fanfiction with the characters only slightly changed from the source material. D. N. Barnes is my hero. Get that bag.

There was one other book that was possible but it was a little too. Generic for me to be like “yeah klance was definitely an influence here”.

Anyways hmu if you want to join my book club where we only are reading published klance fanfiction

Gonna go to the bookstore tomorrow and find poorly disguised klance fics. Will update with my list of books I believe are klance fics

[turnpage]

send me a ✐ for a random sentence starter from my muse (1-1500) — tw: profanity, mild nsfw, long list

generator here quotes compiled from here inspired by

feel free to change to fit your preferences as need.

❨1❩ ❛ They are dreams, but I’m too out of control, I lose myself in them, and I’ve already lost too much to let them take over. ❜
 ❨2❩ ❛ Sometimes human places create inhuman monsters. ❜ ❨3❩ ❛ I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in. ❜ ❨4❩ ❛ Monsters are real. Ghosts are too. They live inside of us, and sometimes, they win. ❜ ❨5❩ ❛ The world's a hard place. It doesn't care. It doesn't hate you and me, but it doesn't love us, either. ❜ ❨6❩ ❛ The tears that heal are also the tears that scald and scourge. ❜ ❨7❩ ❛ Pull your act together and just go on. ❜ ❨8❩ ❛ I had never dreamed there could be so much pain in a life when there is nothing physically wrong. I hurt all the time. ❜ ❨9❩ ❛ Tough old world, baby. If you're not bolted together tightly, you're gonna shake, rattle, and roll before you turn thirty. ❜ ❨10❩ ❛ Are you sure self-pity is a luxury you can afford? ❜ ❨11❩ ❛ Truth comes out. In the end it always comes out. ❜ ❨12❩ ❛ Living by your wits is always knowing where the wasps are. ❜ ❨13❩ ❛ No matter where you go, the same asshole gets off the plane. ❜ ❨14❩ ❛ We sometimes need to create unreal monsters and bogies to stand in for all the things we fear in our real lives. ❜ ❨15❩ ❛ That’s your job in this hard world, to keep your love alive and see that you get on, no matter what. ❜ ❨16❩ ❛ Human nature, baby. Grab it and growl. ❜ ❨17❩ ❛ God wiped snot out of his nose and that was you. ❜ ❨18❩ ❛ Run away. Quick. And remember how much I love you. ❜ ❨19❩ ❛ How many times, over how many years, have I—a grown adult—asked for the mercy of another chance? ❜ ❨20❩ ❛ I was suddenly so sick of myself, so revolted. ❜ ❨21❩ ❛ You listen to me. I’m going to talk to you about it this once and never again this same way. ❜ ❨22❩ ❛ But those pieces, they’ll never fit just the same way again. Never in this world. ❜ ❨23❩ ❛ Dying is a part of living. You have to keep tuning in to that if you expect to be a whole person. ❜ ❨24❩ ❛ Officious little prick. ❜ ❨25❩ ❛ I’ve been sleepwalking again, my dear. — The plants are moving under the rug. ❜ ❨26❩ ❛ How I wish you were fear. ❜ ❨27❩ ❛ But it was a dreadful kind of curiosity, the kind that makes you peek through your fingers during the scariest parts of a scary movie. ❜ ❨28❩ ❛ All we have is time, you know. An eternity of time. Or shall we end it? Might as well. After all, we're missing the party. ❜ ❨29❩ ❛ We all remember our pleasant dreams more clearly than the scary ones. ❜ ❨30❩ ❛ The way things should be and the way things are hardly ever get together. ❜ ❨31❩ ❛ Got to be regular if you want to be happy. ❜ ❨32❩ ❛ But in a solitary life, there are rare moments when another soul dips near yours, as stars once a year brush the earth. ❜ ❨33❩ ❛ He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none. ❜ ❨34❩ ❛ Humbling women seems to me a chief pastime of poets. As if there can be no story unless we crawl and weep. ❜ ❨35❩ ❛ It is a common saying that women are delicate creatures, flowers, eggs, anything that may be crushed in a moment's carelessness.  ❜ ❨36❩ ❛ If I had ever believed it, I no longer do. ❜ ❨37❩ ❛ I thought once that gods are the opposite of death, but I see now they are more dead than anything, for they are unchanging, and can hold nothing in their hands. ❜ ❨38❩ ❛ I cannot bear this world a moment longer. ❜ ❨39❩ ❛ I have a better idea. I will do as I please. ❜ ❨40❩ ❛ All my life has been murk and depths, but I am not a part of that dark water. I am a creature within it. ❜ ❨41❩ ❛ You cannot know how frightened gods are of pain. There is nothing more foreign to them, and so nothing they ache more deeply to see. ❜ ❨42❩ ❛ When we are young, we think ourselves the first to have each feeling in the world. ❜ ❨43❩ ❛ When I was born, the word for what I was did not exist. ❜ ❨44❩ ❛ But perhaps no parent can truly see their child. When we look we see only the mirror of our own faults. ❜ ❨45❩ ❛ I will not be like a bird bred in a cage, too dull to fly even when the door stands open. ❜ ❨46❩ ❛ This is what it means to swim in the tide, to walk the earth and feel it touch your feet. This is what it means to be alive. ❜ ❨47❩ ❛ You threw me to the crows, but it turns out I prefer them to you. ❜ ❨48❩ ❛ Yet because I knew nothing, nothing was beneath me. ❜ ❨49❩ ❛ If now I am wise, it is only because I have been fool enough for a hundred lifetimes. ❜ ❨50❩ ❛ You can teach a viper to eat from your hands, but you cannot take away how much it likes to bite. ❜ ❨51❩ ❛ Give me the blade. Some things are worth spilling blood for. ❜ ❨52❩ ❛ I have been old and stern for so long, carved with regrets and years like a monolith. But that is only a shape I’ve been poured into. I do not have to keep it. ❜ ❨53❩ ❛ I wake sometimes in the dark terrified by my life's precariousness, its thready breath. ❜ ❨54❩ ❛ Understanding the world is a matter of keeping very still and showing no emotions, leaving room for others to reveal themselves. ❜ ❨55❩ ❛ Beneath the smooth, familiar face of things is another that waits to tear the world in two. ❜ ❨56❩ ❛ The truth is, men make terrible pigs. ❜ ❨57❩ ❛ My father has never been able to imagine the world without himself in it. ❜ ❨58❩ ❛ This is the grief that makes our kind choose to be stones and trees rather than flesh. ❜ ❨59❩ ❛ Witches are not so delicate. ❜ ❨60❩ ❛ Those who fight against prophecy only draw it more tightly around their throats. ❜ ❨61❩ ❛ I learned that I could bend the world to my will, as a bow is bent for an arrow. I would have done that toil a thousand times to keep such power in my hands. ❜ ❨62❩ ❛ There's the story, then there's the real story, then there's the story of how the story came to be told. Then there's what you leave out of the story. Which is part of the story too. ❜ ❨63❩ ❛ The best way of being kind to bears is not to be very close to them. ❜ ❨64❩ ❛ Life is warped. I'm just in sync. ❜ ❨65❩ ❛ Now it's a whisper from the past. ❜ ❨66❩ ❛ But hatred and viciousness are addictive. You can get high on them. Once you've had a little, you start shaking if you don't get more. ❜ ❨67❩ ❛ Why is it always such a surprise? The moon. Even though we know it's coming. Every time we see it, it makes us pause, and hush. ❜ ❨68❩ ❛ Perfection exacts a price, but it's the imperfect who pay it. ❜ ❨69❩ ❛ What is 'belief' but a willingness to suspend the negatives?  ❜ ❨70❩ ❛ I have scars, inside me. ❜ ❨71❩ ❛ The dead are not entirely dead but are alive in a different way; a paler way admittedly, and somewhat darker. ❜ ❨72❩ ❛ However dark, a darkness with voices in it is better than a silent void. ❜ ❨73❩ ❛ Amazing how quickly the past becomes idyllic. ❜ ❨74❩ ❛ It is another way of saying tough luck. To people you aren’t going to help out. ❜ ❨75❩ ❛ I'm waiting, far off in the future. ❜ ❨76❩ ❛ The only sure camouflage is unpredictability. ❜ ❨77❩ ❛ There are so many of them, and each one of them is doing part of the killing, whether they know it or not. ❜ ❨78❩ ❛ First rule: limit bloodshed by making sure that none of your own gets spilled. ❜ ❨79❩ ❛ I long to swim in liquid moonlight. ❜ ❨80❩ ❛ That's right, I don’t like to be summoned on trivial matters. ❜ ❨81❩ ❛ The part that really made me happy was that you wanted me to be happy. ❜ ❨82❩ ❛ Cut that part out of us: the grinning, elemental malice. Begin us anew. ❜ ❨83❩ ❛ Where there are wars, there will be crows, the carrion-fanciers. And ravens too, the warbirds, the eyeball gourmands. And vultures, the holy birds of yore, old connoisseurs of rot. ❜ ❨84❩ ❛ At last. It's you. ❜ ❨85❩ ❛ No, you will not be cooked on a fire when you die. Because you are not a fish. ❜ ❨86❩ ❛ Take what the moment offers. Don’t close doors. Be thankful. ❜ ❨87❩ ❛ How many others have stood in this place? Left behind, with all gone, all swept away. ❜ ❨88❩ ❛ Is it disapproval or extreme lust? With some men it’s hard to tell the difference. ❜ ❨89❩ ❛ My hair was driving me crazy, but then … I died. ❜ ❨90❩ ❛ Seek and ye shall find, eventually. And you found. You’re right, I don’t dispute that. Sorry. ❜ ❨91❩ ❛ Everything digests, and is digested. ❜ ❨92❩ ❛ My head was once a filing cabinet. Now it’s a flurry of papers, floating on a draft. ❜ ❨93❩ ❛ You cannot keep bumping your head against reality and saying it is not there. ❜ ❨94❩ ❛ I have a feeling that inside you somewhere, there’s something nobody knows about. ❜ ❨95❩ ❛ And if I don’t want to die, I’ve got to start living. ❜ ❨96❩ ❛ The world is a beautiful place. Don’t forget that. And don’t miss it. ❜ ❨97❩ ❛ I was fighting for my life. So I must not want to die. ❜ ❨98❩ ❛ Something’s happening to me, through me, something dangerous and new. ❜ ❨99❩ ❛ It’s taken root, a poison tree; it’s grown, fanning out, vines winding round my gut, my lungs, my heart. ❜ ❨100❩ ❛ We’re interpreters. We’re translators. ❜ ❨101❩ ❛ You’ll notice I’m not asking what made you this way. ❜ ❨102❩ ❛ No family, happy or unhappy, is quite like any other. Tolstoy was chock-fullo’shit. Remember that. ❜ ❨103❩ ❛ We lived in monochrome those nights. ❜ ❨104❩ ❛ You live in a dream. You’re a sleepwalker, blind. How do you know what the world is like? ❜ ❨105❩ ❛ Do you know, if you rip off the fronts of houses, you’d find swine? ❜ ❨106❩ ❛ I stand here in the dark: cold, utterly alone, full of fear and something that feels like longing. ❜ ❨107❩ ❛ The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. ❜ ❨108❩ ❛ Not to warm the flesh, but solely to please the eye. ❜ ❨109❩ ❛ Selective emotional detachment. ❜ ❨110❩ ❛ Not for me, or at least not today. ❜ ❨111❩ ❛ Dead but not gone, watching life surge forward around me, powerless to intervene. ❜ ❨112❩ ❛ Do I sound like a hillbilly saying that? ❜ ❨113❩ ❛ Remember, you’ve got your secret weapon. ❜ ❨114❩ ❛ The dream drains away like water. The memory, really. I try to scoop it up in my palms, but it’s gone. ❜ ❨115❩ ❛ My shadow stretches along the carpet, as though trying to detach itself from me. ❜ ❨116❩ ❛ It curls away from me, like blood in water. ❜ ❨117❩ ❛ It’s been so long since I felt the rain. Or wind—the caress of wind. ❜ ❨118❩ ❛ But snow I never want to feel again. ❜ ❨119❩ ❛ Through adversity to the stars. ❜ ❨120❩ ❛ No hero. No sleuth. I am locked in. I am locked out. ❜ ❨121❩ ❛ Thinking hasn't gotten me anywhere so far. ❜ ❨122❩ ❛ The face you give the world tells the world how to treat you. ❜ ❨123❩ ❛ Sometimes I think illness sits inside every woman, waiting for the right moment to bloom. ❜ ❨124❩ ❛ Women get consumed. ❜ ❨125❩ ❛ Sometimes if you let people do things to you, you're really doing it to them. ❜ ❨126❩ ❛ A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort. ❜ ❨127❩ ❛ Safer to be feared than loved. ❜ ❨128❩ ❛ I ached once, hard, like a period typed at the end of a sentence. ❜ ❨129❩ ❛ It's impossible to compete with the dead. I wish I could stop trying. ❜ ❨130❩ ❛ I always feel sad for the girl that I was. ❜ ❨131❩ ❛ Every time people said I was pretty, I thought of everything ugly swarming beneath my clothes. ❜ ❨132❩ ❛ How do you keep safe when your whole day is as wide and empty as the sky? Anything could happen. ❜ ❨133❩ ❛ See, there I am. I told you I lived. I told you I was. ❜ ❨134❩ ❛ Sometimes I think I won't ever feel safe until I can count my last days on one hand. ❜ ❨135❩ ❛ To refuse has so many more consequences than submitting. ❜ ❨136❩ ❛ I'm here. I don't usually feel that I am. ❜ ❨137❩ ❛ I'm tired of dying. ❜ ❨138❩ ❛ What if you hurt because it feels so good? ❜ ❨139❩ ❛ How confusing to live in the shadow of a shadow. ❜ ❨140❩ ❛ Do you ever feel like bad things are going to happen, and you can’t stop them? You can’t do anything, you just have to wait? ❜ ❨141❩ ❛ Sometimes my scars have a mind of their own. ❜ ❨142❩ ❛ Everyone has their own version of a memory. ❜ ❨143❩ ❛ Isn’t a smile a girl’s best weapon? ❜ ❨144❩ ❛ My sense of weightlessness, I think, comes from the fact that I know so little about my past. ❜ ❨145❩ ❛ Do what I want; I might like you. ❜ ❨146❩ ❛ I feel sorry for Persephone because even when she’s back with the living, people are afraid of her because of where’s she’s been. ❜ ❨147❩ ❛ She has never told me she loved me, and I never assumed she did. ❜ ❨148❩ ❛ The sight of it actually does something to you, makes you less human. ❜ ❨149❩ ❛ It infects you. It ruined me. ❜ ❨150❩ ❛ Your health is not a debt you just cancel. The body collects. ❜ ❨151❩ ❛ Men love to put things inside women, don’t they? ❜ ❨152❩ ❛ We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom. ❜ ❨153❩ ❛ Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women. ❜ ❨154❩ ❛ The strongest of all warriors are these two — time and patience. ❜ ❨155❩ ❛ If everyone fought for their own convictions there would be no war. ❜ ❨156❩ ❛ There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth. ❜ ❨157❩ ❛ The whole world is divided for me into two parts: one is she, and there is all happiness, hope, light; the other is where she is not, and there is dejection and darkness. ❜ ❨158❩ ❛ Let the dead bury the dead, but while I'm alive, I must live and be happy. ❜ ❨159❩ ❛ It's not given to people to judge what's right or wrong. People have eternally been mistaken and will be mistaken, and in nothing more than in what they consider right and wrong. ❜ ❨160❩ ❛ You can love a person dear to you with a human love, but an enemy can only be loved with divine love. ❜ ❨161❩ ❛ If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed. ❜ ❨162❩ ❛ We are asleep until we fall in love! ❜ ❨163❩ ❛ I simply want to live; to cause no evil to anyone but myself. ❜ ❨164❩ ❛ Everything I know, I know because of love. ❜ ❨165❩ ❛ Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs. ❜ ❨166❩ ❛ If there was no suffering, man would not know his limits, would not know himself. ❜ ❨167❩ ❛ Yes, love, but not the love that loves for something, to gain something, or because of something, but that love that I felt for the first time, when dying, I saw my enemy and yet loved him. ❜ ❨168❩ ❛ How can one be well...when one suffers morally? ❜ ❨169❩ ❛ Kings are the slaves of history. ❜ ❨170❩ ❛ God is the same everywhere. ❜ ❨171❩ ❛ Pure and complete sorrow is as impossible as pure and complete joy. ❜ ❨172❩ ❛ One must be cunning and wicked in this world. ❜ ❨173❩ ❛ We love people not so much for the good they've done us, as for the good we've done them. ❜ ❨174❩ ❛ When one's head is gone one doesn't weep over one's hair! ❜ ❨175❩ ❛ For what, for whom, must I kill and be killed? ❜ ❨176❩ ❛ He did what heroes do after their work is accomplished; he died. ❜ ❨177❩ ❛ Life is too long to say anything definitely; always say perhaps. ❜ ❨178❩ ❛ Everything ends in death, everything. Death is terrible. ❜ ❨179❩ ❛ The distant and impossible suddenly became near, possible, and inevitable. ❜ ❨180❩ ❛ How often we sin, how much we deceive, and all for what? ❜ ❨181❩ ❛ The wolves should be fed and the sheep kept safe. ❜ ❨182❩ ❛ When I was a child, adults would tell me not to make things up, warning me of what would happen if I did. ❜ ❨183❩ ❛ My memory is a patchwork of occurrences, of discontinuous events roughly sewn together: the parts I remember, I remember precisely, whilst other sections seem to have vanished completely. ❜ ❨184❩ ❛ Would it be worse to love someone who is no longer there, or not to love someone who is? ❜ ❨185❩ ❛ Like mirrors stories prepare us for the day to come. They distract us from the things in darkness. ❜ ❨186❩ ❛ It is not that I was credulous, simply that I believed in all things dark and dangerous. ❜ ❨187❩ ❛ Sometimes you do things you regret, but there's nothing you can do about them. Times change. Doors close behind you. You move on. ❜ ❨188❩ ❛ Love will be an impulse that will inspire and ruin in equal measure. ❜ ❨189❩ ❛ He died alone. It don't matter a rat's ass whether there was anyone with him or not. He died alone. ❜ ❨190❩ ❛ It was love, I knew, and it tasted like champagne in my mind. ❜ ❨191❩ ❛ The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being averted, by love or foolishness or just plain old dumb luck. ❜ ❨192❩ ❛ She was my dream; and if you touch a dream it vanishes, like a soap bubble. ❜ ❨193❩ ❛ Daylight is always safe. ❜ ❨194❩ ❛ If not for death, they'd be content to simply exist, but with death, well, their lives will have meaning. ❜ ❨195❩ ❛ You want to know the future, love? Then wait. ❜ ❨196❩ ❛ There are things in the darkness beneath us that wish us harm. ❜ ❨197❩ ❛ Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated ❜ ❨198❩ ❛ But sometimes you leave blood on your instruments. ❜ ❨199❩ ❛ I'd like to be a wolf. Not all the time. Just sometimes. In the dark. I would run through the forests. ❜ ❨200❩ ❛ You've seen them. They have mouths that twitch, and eyes that stare, and they babble and they mewl and they whimper. ❜ ❨201❩ ❛ They are not mad, or rather, the loss of their sanity is the lesser of their problems. ❜ ❨202❩ ❛ Good a reason for writing as I know: releasing demons, letting them fly. ❜ ❨203❩ ❛ That miserable state in which everything seems flat and of equal importance; when nothing matters, and in which reality seems scraped thin and threadbare. ❜ ❨204❩ ❛ Someone had scrawled graffiti in black marker on the metal: JUST DIE, it said. Like it is easy. ❜ ❨205❩ ❛ Winter started today. The sky turned grey and the snow began to fall and it did not stop falling until well after dark. ❜ ❨206❩ ❛ Memory is the great deceiver. ❜ ❨207❩ ❛ Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way. ❜ ❨208❩ ❛ I may have lost my heart, but not my self-control.  ❜ ❨209❩ ❛ If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. ❜ ❨210❩ ❛ I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other. ❜ ��211❩ ❛ But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. ❜ ❨212❩ ❛ I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other would have borne it. ❜ ❨213❩ ❛ There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. ❜ ❨214❩ ❛ One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. ❜ ❨215❩ ❛ Better be without sense than misapply it as you do. ❜ ❨216❩ ❛ You must be the best judge of your own happiness. ❜ ❨217❩ ❛ Were I to fall in love, indeed, it would be a different thing ; but I have never been in love ; it is not my way, or my nature ; and I do not think I ever shall. ❜ ❨218❩ ❛ Indeed, I am very sorry to be right in this instance. I would much rather have been merry than wise. ❜ ❨219❩ ❛ If I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream. ❜ ❨220❩ ❛ If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. ❜ ❨221❩ ❛ Faultless in spite of all her faults. ❜ ❨222❩ ❛ A heroine whom no one but myself will much like. ❜ ❨223❩ ❛ There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart. ❜ ❨224❩ ❛ Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, and waste its fragrance on the desert air. ❜ ❨225❩ ❛ I pity you. I thought you cleverer. ❜ ❨226❩ ❛ Evil to some is always good to others. ❜ ❨227❩ ❛ I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do. ❜ ❨228❩ ❛ She is loveliness itself. ❜ ❨229❩ ❛ Time does not compose me. ❜ ❨230❩ ❛ A man always imagines a woman to be ready for anybody who asks her. ❜ ❨231❩ ❛ I do not find myself making any use of the word sacrifice. ❜ ❨232❩ ❛ I am quite enough in love. I should be sorry to be any more. ❜ ❨233❩ ❛ I must tell you what you will not ask, though I may wish it unsaid the next moment. ❜ ❨234❩ ❛ I examined my own heart. And there you were. Never, I fear, to be removed. ❜ ❨235❩ ❛ With all your little faults, you are an excellent creature. ❜ ❨236❩ ❛ You have another long walk before you. ❜ ❨237❩ ❛ The child's laughter is pure until he first laughs at a clown. ❜ ❨238❩ ❛ What is marriage but prostitution to one man instead of many? ❜ ❨239❩ ❛ Out of the frying pan into the fire! ❜ ❨240❩ ❛ We must all make do with the rags of love we find flapping on the scarecrow of humanity. ❜ ❨241❩ ❛ She sleeps. And now she wakes each day a little less. ❜ ❨242❩ ❛ And, oh, God . . . how frequently I weep! ❜ ❨243❩ ❛ From the coffin of your madness there is no escape. ❜ ❨244❩ ❛ I am feeling supernatural tonight. I want to eat diamonds. ❜ ❨245❩ ❛ All the same there is a chance that if we keep on shaking our chains, one day, some day, the clasps upon the shackles will part. ❜ ❨246❩ ❛ It was sad music fit to make you cut your throat. ❜ ❨247❩ ❛ Nothing is more boring than being forced to play. ❜ ❨248❩ ❛ Amongst the monsters, I am well hidden; who looks for a leaf in a forest? ❜ ❨249❩ ❛ Wherein does a woman’s honour reside? In her vagina or in her spirit? ❜ ❨250❩ ❛ Perhaps...I could not be content with mere contentment! ❜ ❨251❩ ❛ Have you ever stared stark failure in the face? The trick is to outstare it. ❜ ❨252❩ ❛ Sometimes it seems that the faces exist of themselves, in a disembodied somewhere, waiting for the one who will wear them, who will bring them to life. ❜ ❨253❩ ❛ I have the febrile gaiety of a being without a past, without a present, yet I exist. ❜ ❨254❩ ❛ I felt myself turning, willy-nilly, from a woman into an idea. ❜ ❨255❩ ❛ She looks wonderful, but she doesn't look right. ❜ ❨256❩ ❛ The one-eyed man will be King in the country of the blind. ❜ ❨257❩ ❛ I raised you up to fly to the heavens, not to brood over a clutch of eggs! ❜ ❨258❩ ❛ I love to hear my bones rattle. That’s how I know I’m alive. ❜ ❨259❩ ❛ I learnt, first, as the birds do, from the birds. ❜ ❨260❩ ❛ Inside and outside match exactly, but both are badly wrong. ❜ ❨261❩ ❛ During the less-than-blink of time it took the last chime to die, there came a vertiginous sensation. ❜ ❨262❩ ❛ I fear a wound not of the body but the soul, an irreconcilable division between myself and the rest of humankind. ❜ ❨263❩ ❛ I fear the proof of my own singularity. ❜ ❨264❩ ❛ Still nothing could calm the fearful storm in my erupting skin. ❜ ❨265❩ ❛ Petersburg, loveliest of all hallucinations. ❜ ❨266❩ ❛ A breathless second between black forest and the frozen sea. ❜ ❨267❩ ❛ I'm beginning to feel totally cut off from the world. ❜ ❨268❩ ❛ What does this all mean? Where are we? ❜ ❨269❩ ❛ Sometimes I bleed. ❜ ❨270❩ ❛ If you see a ghost, you say "hello". ❜ ❨271❩ ❛ The war is not over. ❜ ❨272❩ ❛ You're not going. You left us once already. ❜ ❨273❩ ❛ You can’t go! ❜ ❨274❩ ❛ I loved you, but that wasn't enough, was it? ❜ ❨275❩ ❛ If you're dead, then leave me in peace. ❜ ❨276❩ ❛ The only thing that moves here is the light, but it changes everything. ❜ ❨277❩ ❛ I won't ask for forgiveness for something I didn't do! ❜ ❨278❩ ❛ Sometimes the world of the living gets mixed up with the world of the dead. ❜ ❨279❩ ❛ Death of a loved one can lead people to do the strangest things. ❜ ❨280❩ ❛ Sooner or later, they will find you. ❜ ❨281❩ ❛ They're everywhere - they say this house is theirs. ❜ ❨282❩ ❛ You're always teasing me, and telling lies. I'm sick of it. ❜ ❨283❩ ❛ Others will come. Sometimes we'll sense them. Other times, we won't. ❜ ❨284❩ ❛ No crying now. No crying. Stop that. Here. Look what an awful face you've got when you cry. ❜ ❨285❩ ❛ You listen to me. I've seen them too. ❜ ❨286❩ ❛ You'll see. There are going to be some big surprises. There are going to be... changes. ❜ ❨287❩ ❛ Why did you go and fight that stupid war that had nothing to do with us? Why didn't you stay like the others did? ❜ ❨288❩ ❛ Your place was here with your family. ❜ ❨289❩ ❛ So you say you know this house well? ❜ ❨290❩ ❛ I wasn't expecting you so soon. ❜ ❨291❩ ❛ What's the matter? Has the cat got your tongue? ❜ ❨292❩ ❛ You mean they just vanished? Into thin air? ❜ ❨293❩ ❛ No door must be opened without the previous one being closed first. ❜ ❨294❩ ❛ Here, most of the time, you can hardly see your way. ❜ ❨295❩ ❛ Whatever you do, don't open the curtains. ❜ ❨296❩ ❛ Now, come on. Eyes closed. ❜ ❨297❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. We realise that we’re all going to die, without really finding out the big answers. ❜ ❨298❩ ❛ By definition, you have to live until you die. Better to make that life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨299❩ ❛ I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. ❜ ❨300❩ ❛ And the reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨301❩ ❛ Love does not exist, it's like religion, made to control you. ❜ ❨302❩ ❛ After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid. ❜ ❨303❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨304❩ ❛ Everything in the street today seems soft focus. ❜ ❨305❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low. ❜ ❨306❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty, and you're still fuckin’ miles off the pace. ❜ ❨307❩ ❛ It’s as if everything is a copy of what you knew before, similar, yet somehow lacking in its usual qualities, a bit like the way things are in a dream. ❜ ❨308❩ ❛ It’s all okay, it’s all beautiful; but I fear that this internal sea is going to subside soon, leaving this poisonous shite washed up, stranded up in my body. ❜ ❨309❩ ❛ It cuts me up. It confuses me. ❜ ❨310❩ ❛ It's not funny laughter. This is lynch mob laughter. ❜ ❨311❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨312❩ ❛ They mean well, and they mean well to me, but there's no way under the sun that they can appreciate what I feel, what I need. ❜ ❨313❩ ❛ The pit of melancholy is a bottomless one, and I am descending fast. ❜ ❨314❩ ❛ Living like this is a full-time business. ❜ ❨315❩ ❛ I’ll stand or fall alone. ❜ ❨316❩ ❛ We are no wiser now than at the start. ❜ ❨317❩ ❛ This is pathetic, and fucking boring. ❜ ❨318❩ ❛ Death is usually a process, rather than an event. ❜ ❨319❩ ❛ We're ruled by effete arseholes. What does that make us? ❜ ❨320❩ ❛ We are all acquaintances now. ❜ ❨321❩ ❛ The problem is that this beautiful ocean carries with it loads of poisonous flotsam and jetsam. ❜ ❨322❩ ❛ Life is beautiful. I'm going to enjoy it, and I'm going to have a long life. ❜ ❨323❩ ❛ The grim reality of impending death can be talked away by trying to invest in the present reality of life. ❜ ❨324❩ ❛ There must be more to life than this. ❜ ❨325❩ ❛ We all see what we want to see. ❜ ❨326❩ ❛ Statistically speaking, you're more likely to be killed by a member of your own family or a close friend, than by anyone else. ❜ ❨327❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨328❩ ❛ Maybe that's what love is: it's being pissed off. ❜ ❨329❩ ❛ You can forget who you are if you're alone too much. ❜ ❨330❩ ❛ Any religion is a shadow of God. But the shadows of God are not God. ❜ ❨331❩ ❛ Human understanding is fallible, and we see through a glass, darkly.  ❜ ❨332❩ ❛ We must be a beacon of hope, because if you tell people there's nothing they can do, they will do worse than nothing. ❜ ❨333❩ ❛ Everyone wants to feel like a princess, and princesses are selfish and overbearing. ❜ ❨334❩ ❛ We shouldn't have been so scornful; we should have had compassion. But compassion takes work, and we were young. ❜ ❨335❩ ❛ How easy it is, treachery. You just slide into it. ❜ ❨336❩ ❛ Amazing how the heart clutches at anything familiar, whimpering: Mine! Mine! ❜ ❨337❩ ❛ All creatures know that some must die ; that all the rest may take and eat. ❜ ❨338❩ ❛ Is this the image of a god? My tooth for yours, your eye for mine? ❜ ❨339❩ ❛ Without the light, no chance; without the dark, no dance. ❜ ❨340❩ ❛ Why are we designed to see the world as supremely beautiful just as we're about to be snuffed? Do rabbits feel the same as the fox teeth bite down on their necks? Is it mercy? ❜ ❨341❩ ❛ Love is useless, it leads you into dumb exchanges in which you give too much away, and then you get bitter and mean. ❜ ❨342❩ ❛ Maybe sadness is a kind of hunger. Maybe the two go together. ❜ ❨343❩ ❛ Now I can see how that can happen. You can fall in love with anybody -- a fool, a criminal, a nothing. There are no good rules. ❜ ❨344❩ ❛ If you really want to stay the same age you are now forever and ever, try jumping off the roof: death's a sure-fire method for stopping time. ❜ ❨345❩ ❛ You couldn’t leave words lying around where our enemies might find them. ❜ ❨346❩ ❛ I'm fine, for the moment. And the moment is the only time we can be fine in. ❜ ❨347❩ ❛ Because if you can't wish, why bother? ❜ ❨348❩ ❛ It's better to hope than mope! ❜ ❨349❩ ❛ Reality has too much darkness in it. Too many crows. ❜ ❨350❩ ❛ In any case, time is not a thing that passes, it’s a sea on which you float. ❜ ❨351❩ ❛ I know I’m deceiving myself, but I prefer to deceive myself. I desperately need to believe such pure joy is still possible. ❜ ❨352❩ ❛ Too much God and you overdose. God needs to be filtered. ❜ ❨353❩ ❛ Behind my eyelids I saw an animal. It was golden colour, with gentle green eyes and canine teeth, and curly wool instead of fur. It opened its mouth, but it did not speak. Instead, it yawned. ❜ ❨354❩ ❛ ‘Why can't I believe?’ I asked the darkness. ❜ ❨355❩ ❛ Everyone’s too sad for everything. ❜ ❨356❩ ❛ If you can’t stop the waves, go sailing. ❜ ❨357❩ ❛ I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary. ❜ ❨358❩ ❛ Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. ❜ ❨359❩ ❛ In the end, we'll all become stories. ❜ ❨360❩ ❛ I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead. ❜ ❨361❩ ❛ If you knew what was going to happen, if you knew everything that was going to happen next—if you knew in advance the consequences of your own actions—you'd be doomed. You'd be ruined as God. ❜ ❨362❩ ❛ If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. ❜ ❨363❩ ❛ Stupidity is the same as evil if you judge by the results. ❜ ❨364❩ ❛ Time in dreams is frozen. You can never get away from where you've been. ❜ ❨365❩ ❛ Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? ❜ ❨366❩ ❛ We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly. ❜ ❨367❩ ❛ If I love you, is that a fact or a weapon? ❜ ❨368❩ ❛ You fit into me like a hook into an eye. ❜ ❨369❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people puts you in their power, they have a claim on you, you are forced to understand their reasons for doing things and then you are weakened. ❜ ❨370❩ ❛ Farewells can be shattering, but returns are surely worse. ❜ ❨371❩ ❛ Women have curious ways of hurting someone else. ❜ ❨372❩ ❛ This is the one song everyone would like to learn: the song that is irresistible: the song that forces men to leap overboard in squadrons. ❜ ❨373❩ ❛ Get rid of death. Make it be spring. ❜ ❨374❩ ❛ You are innocent as a bathtub full of bullets. ❜ ❨375❩ ❛ I am the space you desecrate as you pass through. ❜ ❨376❩ ❛ Favour me and give me riches, destroy my enemies. Save me from death. ❜ ❨377❩ ❛ She is a raw voice loose in the rooms beneath me. ❜ ❨378❩ ❛ Isn't the moon warm enough for you, why do you need the blanket of another body? ❜ ❨379❩ ❛ This is a torch song. Touch me and you'll burn. ❜ ❨380❩ ❛ If you look long enough eventually you will see me. ❜ ❨381❩ ❛ I would like to sleep with you, to enter your sleep as its smooth dark wave slides over my head. ❜ ❨382❩ ❛ I would like to give you the silver branch, the small white flower, the one word that will protect you from the grief. ❜ ❨383❩ ❛ But some people can't tell where it hurts. They can't calm down. They can't ever stop howling. ❜ ❨384❩ ❛ How else can we live, these days, except in the midst of ruin? ❜ ❨385❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨386❩ ❛ Gods always come in handy, they justify almost anything. ❜ ❨387❩ ❛ We loved with a love that was more than love. ❜ ❨388❩ ❛ Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ❜ ❨389❩ ❛ The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? ❜ ❨390❩ ❛ There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness in the proportion. ❜ ❨391❩ ❛ Never to suffer would never to have been blessed. ❜ ❨392❩ ❛ Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear. ❜ ❨393❩ ❛ And all I loved, I loved alone. ❜ ❨394❩ ❛ Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute. ❜ ❨395❩ ❛ The best things in life make you sweaty. ❜ ❨396❩ ❛ There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told. ❜ ❨397❩ ❛ Anything is better than this agony. ❜ ❨398❩ ❛ You fancy me mad. ❜ ❨399❩ ❛ I hear all things in the heaven and in the earth. ❜ ❨400❩ ❛ Who dares insult us with this blasphemous mockery? ❜ ❨401❩ ❛ Leave my loneliness unbroken! ❜ ❨402❩ ❛ A more than fiendish malevolence, gin-nurtured, thrills every fibre of my frame. ❜ ❨403❩ ❛ The fury of a demon instantly possessed me. I knew myself no longer. ❜ ❨404❩ ❛ Let my heart be still a moment. ❜ ❨405❩ ❛ You call it hope —  It is but agony of desire. ❜ ❨406❩ ❛ Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or silly action for no other reason than because he knows he should not? ❜ ❨407❩ ❛ To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! ❜ ❨408❩ ❛ The beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage. ❜ ❨409❩ ❛ Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive. ❜ ❨410❩ ❛ I have been happy, though in a dream. ❜ ❨411❩ ❛ Nevermore. ❜ ❨412❩ ❛ The truth is, I am heartily sick of this life. ❜ ❨413❩ ❛ I am convinced that every thing is going wrong. ❜ ❨414❩ ❛ The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls. ❜ ❨415❩ ❛ And if I died, at least I will have died for you! ❜ ❨416❩ ❛ It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. ❜ ❨417❩ ❛ Hurt and humiliation — But this, I can not take. ❜ ❨418❩ ❛ The walls in there have ears. ❜ ❨419❩ ❛ This is for your ears only. ❜ ❨420❩ ❛ What is it? You have me scared. ❜ ❨421❩ ❛ Whoever isn’t for us, is against us. ❜ ❨422❩ ❛ You are just a body; to be dumped, disposed of like a carcass, left out for the birds to feed on. ❜ ❨423❩ ❛ The dead will have to forgive me. ❜ ❨424❩ ❛ From now on and no matter how your mind may I change, I will not accept your help. ❜ ❨425❩ ❛ If death comes, so be it. There will be glory in it. ❜ ❨426❩ ❛ Live, then; and live with your choice. ❜ ❨427❩ ❛ I am doing what has to be done. ❜ ❨428❩ ❛ Nothing is going to stop the ones that love you from keeping on loving you. ❜ ❨429❩ ❛ Worst is the man who has all the good advice, and then because his nerve fails, fails to act in accordance with it, as a leader should. ❜ ❨430❩ ❛ Only a loony would walk himself into this. ❜ ❨431❩ ❛ Why do you need such fences and defences? ❜ ❨432❩ ❛ Enough. Do not anger me. ❜ ❨433❩ ❛ The gods, you think, will side with the likes of him? ❜ ❨434❩ ❛ Watch it. You are over stepping. ❜ ❨435❩ ❛ I warn you. You should keep a civil tongue. ❜ ❨436❩ ❛ There is no such thing as an oath the can not be broken. ❜ ❨437❩ ❛ Every now and then, the things you’d hardly let yourself imagine, actually happen. ❜ ❨438❩ ❛ And you stand over this? This is the truth? ❜ ❨439❩ ❛ The bigger the resistance, the bigger the collapse. ❜ ❨440❩ ❛ Iron that’s forged the hardest, snaps the quickest. ❜ ❨441❩ ❛ Even the wildest horses come to heel when they are reined & bitted right. ❜ ❨442❩ ❛ That’s how guilt affects some people. They break and everything comes out. ❜ ❨443❩ ❛ Will it be enough for you? To see me executed? ❜ ❨444❩ ❛ So you know something no one else knows? ❜ ❨445❩ ❛ They know it too. They are just too afraid to say it. ❜ ❨446❩ ❛ If you die, how will I keep on living? ❜ ❨447❩ ❛ There was a star riding through clouds one night, & I said to the star, 'Consume me'. ❜ ❨448❩ ❛ How much better to sit by myself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. ❜ ❨449❩ ❛ Alone, I often fall down into nothingness. I have to bang my head against some hard door to call myself back to the body. ❜ ❨450❩ ❛ I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me. ❜ ❨451❩ ❛ For this moment, this one moment, we are together.  ❜ ❨452❩ ❛ Come, pain, feed on me. Bury your fangs in my flesh. Tear me asunder. ❜ ❨453❩ ❛ I am as neat as a cat in my habits. ❜ ❨454❩ ❛ Everything falls in a tremendous shower, dissolving me. ❜ ❨455❩ ❛ I am the foam that sweeps and fills the uttermost rims of the rocks with whiteness; I am also a girl, here in this room. ❜ ❨456❩ ❛ We are cut, we are fallen. We are become part of that unfeeling universe ❨457❩ that sleeps when we are at our quickest and burns red when we lie ❨458❩ asleep. ❜ ❨459❩ ❛ These moments of escape are not to be despised. They come too seldom. ❜ ❨460❩ ❛ Up here my eyes are green leaves, unseeing. ❜ ❨461❩ ❛ The moment is all; the moment is enough. ❜ ❨462❩ ❛ I do not want to be admired. I want to give, to be given. ❜ ❨463❩ ❛ I am not one and simple, but complex and many. ❜ ❨464❩ ❛ And if you are dead, I shall weep. ❜ ❨465❩ ❛ But beauty must be broken daily to remain beautiful. ❜ ❨466❩ ❛ But our hatred is almost indistinguishable from our love. ❜ ❨467❩ ❛ I desired always to stretch the night and fill it fuller and fuller with dreams. ❜ ❨468❩ ❛ Life is a dream surely. ❜ ❨469❩ ❛ I think sometimes I am not a woman, but the light that falls on this gate, on this ground. I am the seasons, I think sometimes, January, May, November; the mud, the mist, the dawn. ❜ ❨470❩ ❛ Oh, I am in love with life! ❜ ❨471❩ ❛ I have been knotted; I have been torn apart. ❜ ❨472❩ ❛ There was no freedom in life, and certainly there was none in death. ❜ ❨473❩ ❛ I do not know. I do not know myself sometimes, or how to measure and name and count out the grains that make me what I am. ❜ ❨474❩ ❛ I ride rough waters, and shall sink with no one to save me. ❜ ❨475❩ ❛ I am above the earth now. I am no longer upright, to be knocked against and damaged. ❜ ❨476❩ ❛ I see it all. I feel it all. ❜ ❨477❩ ❛ Death is woven in with the violets. Death and again death. ❜ ❨478❩ ❛ We have been walking for hours it seems. But where? I cannot remember. ❜ ❨479❩ ❛ If we were all on trial for our thoughts, we would all be hanged. ❜ ❨480❩ ❛ When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass. ❜ ❨481❩ ❛ Murderess is a strong word to have attached to you. It has a smell to it, that word; - musky and oppressive, like dead flowers in a vase.  ❜ ❨482❩ ❛ Sometimes at night I whisper it over to myself: Murderess, murderess. It rustles, like a taffeta skirt across the floor. ❜ ❨483❩ ❛ If the world treats you well, you come to believe you are deserving of it. ❜ ❨484❩ ❛ If I am good enough and quiet enough, perhaps after all they will let me go. ❜ ❨485❩ ❛ It’s not easy being quiet and good, it’s like hanging on to the edge of a bridge when you’ve already fallen over; you don’t seem to be moving, just dangling there, and yet it is taking all your strength. ❜ ❨486❩ ❛ There is no fool like an educated fool. ❜ ❨487❩ ❛ There are many dangerous things that may take place in a bed. ❜ ❨488❩ ❛ I am afraid of falling into hopeless despair, over my wasted life, and I am still not sure how it happened. ❜ ❨489❩ ❛ Underneath it all is another feeling, a feeling of being wide-eyed awake and watchful. ❜ ❨490❩ ❛ And underneath all that is another feeling still, a feeling like being torn open; not like a body of flesh, it is not painful as such, but like a peach; and not even torn open, but ripe and splitting open of its own accord.  ❜ ❨491❩ ❛ The small details of life often hide a great significance. ❜ ❨492❩ ❛ Guilt comes to you not from the things you've done, but from the things that others have done to you. ❜ ❨493❩ ❛ I wonder, how can I be all of these different things at once? ❜ ❨494❩ ❛ It is always a mistake to curse back openly at those who are stronger than you unless there is a fence between. ❜ ❨495❩ ❛ Some call this "Eve's curse," but I think that is stupid because the real curse of Eve was having to put up with the nonsense of Adam. ❜ ❨496❩ ❛ I don't know why they are all so eager to be remembered. What good will it do them? There are some things that should be forgotten by everyone, and never spoken of again. ❜ ❨497❩ ❛ I would never blame a human creature for feeling lonely. ❜ ❨498❩ ❛ If they want a monster so badly they ought to be provided by one. ❜ ❨499❩ ❛ It’s as if I never existed, because no trace of me remains, I have left no marks. And that way I cannot be followed. It is almost the same as being innocent. ❜ ❨500❩ ❛ Today you wear your habitual expression of strained anxiety; you smell of violets. ❜ ❨501❩ ❛ Of course you have always been an idealist, and filled with your optimistic dreams; but reality must at some time obtrude. ❜ ❨502❩ ❛ I wonder what would become of me, and comfort myself that in a hundred years I will be dead and at peace. ❜ ❨503❩ ❛ For it is not always the one that strikes the blow that is the actual murderer. ❜ ❨504❩ ❛ There is a “do this” or “do that” with God, but not any “because”. ❜ ❨505❩ ❛ If you have a need and they find it out, they will use it against you. The best way is to stop from wanting anything. ❜ ❨506❩ ❛ They say, why don’t you ever smile or laugh, we never see you smiling, and I say I suppose I have gotten out of the way of it, my face won’t bend in that direction any more. ❜ ❨507❩ ❛ I was shut up inside that doll of myself, and my true voice could not get out. ❜ ❨508❩ ❛ I see what you’re after. You are a collector. You think all you have to do is give me an apple, and then you can collect me. ❜ ❨509❩ ❛ If you want to be an asshole, it's a free country. Millions before you have made the same life choice. ❜ ❨510❩ ❛ Then there's the future. Sheer vertigo. ❜ ❨511❩ ❛ Nature is to zoos as God is to churches. ❜ ❨512❩ ❛ After everything that's happened, how can the world still be so beautiful? ❜ ❨513❩ ❛ There's something to be said for hunger: at least it lets you know you're still alive. ❜ ❨514❩ ❛ These things sneak up on me for no reason, these flashes of irrational happiness. It's probably a vitamin deficiency. ❜ ❨515❩ ❛ Toast cannot be explained by any rational means. Toast is me. I am toast. ❜ ❨516❩ ❛ You can’t buy it, but it has a price. Everything has a price. ❜ ❨517❩ ❛ As a species were doomed by hope, then? You could call it hope. That, or desperation. ❜ ❨518❩ ❛ I am not my childhood. ❜ ❨519❩ ❛ Human beings hope they can stick their souls into someone else and live on forever. ❜ ❨520❩ ❛ “I'll make you mine”, lovers said in old books. They never said, “I'll make you me.” ❜ ❨521❩ ❛ How much is too much, how far is too far? ❜ ❨522❩ ❛ Expectation isn't the same as desire. ❜ ❨523❩ ❛ Why not cut to the chase? ❜ ❨524❩ ❛ Maybe there aren't any solutions. Human society, corpses and rubble. ❜ ❨525❩ ❛ I thought you didn’t believe in God. ❜ ❨526❩ ❛ I need at least the illusion of being understood. ❜ ❨527❩ ❛ What change would have altered the course of events? In the big picture, nothing. In the small picture, so much. ❜ ❨528❩ ❛ You are only looking at the dirt under your feet. It's not good for you. ❜ ❨529❩ ❛ I like to keep only the bright side of myself turned towards you.  ❜ ❨530❩ ❛ Grief in the face of inevitable death. The wish to stop time. The human condition. ❜ ❨531❩ ❛ So many crucial events take place behind people’s backs, when they aren’t in a position to watch: birth and death, for instance. ❜ ❨532❩ ❛ Would you kill someone you loved to spare them pain? ❜ ❨533❩ ❛ When the water’s moving faster than the boat, you can’t control a thing. ❜ ❨534❩ ❛ Don't be so fucking sentimental. ❜ ❨535❩ ❛ Wrong, as usual. ❜ ❨536❩ ❛ Why do you want to talk about ugly things? ❜ ❨537❩ ❛ I understand why serial killers send helpful clues to the police. ❜ ❨538❩ ❛ Take your time, leave mine alone. ❜ ❨539❩ ❛ You will hear thunder and remember me. ❜ ❨540❩ ❛ If you were music, I would listen to you ceaselessly. ❜ ❨541❩ ❛ I seem to myself an accidental guest in this dreadful body. ❜ ❨542❩ ❛ Call me a sinner, mock me maliciously. ❜ ❨543❩ ❛ I, from the very beginning, seemed to myself like someone's dream or delirium. Or a reflection in someone else's mirror. Without flesh, without meaning, without a name. ❜ ❨544❩ ❛ I knew the list of crimes that I was destined to commit. ❜ ❨545❩ ❛ The future ripens in the past, so the past rots in the future. ❜ ❨546❩ ❛ You are untranslatable into any one tongue. ❜ ❨547❩ ❛ I was hoping my silence would fit yours. ❜ ❨548❩ ❛ See, we were never about butterflies. All about us is unearthly and radiant. ❜ ❨549❩ ❛ You do not know just what you've been forgiven. ❜ ❨550❩ ❛ I need to slaughter my memory.  ❜ ❨551❩ ❛ Forgive me that I appeared to you in waking dreams. ❜ ❨552❩ ❛ I will condemn, I will forget, I will give comfort to the enemy. ❜ ❨553❩ ❛ I know beginnings, I know endings too, and life-in-death. ❜ ❨554❩ ❛ Wild honey smells of freedom. But gold smells of nothing. ❜ ❨555❩ ❛ You are three times more beautiful than angels. ❜ ❨556❩ ❛ I will kill you without spilling your blood on the ground, not touching you with my hand, not giving you one glance. ❜ ❨557❩ ❛ You invented me. There is no such earthly being. ❜ ❨558❩ ❛ You’re late. Way too late. I’m glad to see you, nonetheless. ❜ ❨559❩ ❛ Forgive me that I felt forsaken. Forgive me that I kept mistaking too many others for you. ❜ ❨560❩ ❛ Real tenderness can’t be confused, it’s quiet and can’t be heard. ❜ ❨561❩ ❛ What else lived in that house besides us? ❜ ❨562❩ ❛ How unhappy we are together! ❜ ❨563❩ ❛ I defend not my voice, but my silence. ❜ ❨564❩ ❛ Without love, I'm more at ease, I'm sure. ❜ ❨565❩ ❛ I've got no more tears or explanations. ❜ ❨566❩ ❛ I’m not complaining. Happiness is not for me. ❜ ❨567❩ ❛ Are you not the only tie between good and evil, earthly pits and paradise? ❜ ❨568❩ ❛ In the morning we shall find out who has died in the night. ❜ ❨569❩ ❛ I was not a lovable child, and I've grown into a deeply unlovable adult. ❜ ❨570❩ ❛ The truly frightening flaw in humanity is our capacity for cruelty - we all have it. ❜ ❨571❩ ❛ I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ. Slit me at my belly and it might slide out, meaty and dark. ❜ ❨572❩ ❛ I am not angry or sad or happy to see you. I could not give a shit. You don't even ripple. ❜ ❨573❩ ❛ I was raised feral, and I mostly stayed that way. ❜ ❨574❩ ❛ I can feel a better version of me somewhere in there - hidden behind a liver or attached to a bit of spleen. But the meanness usually wins out. ❜ ❨575❩ ❛ I felt something loosen in me, that shouldn't have loosened. A stitch come undone. ❜ ❨576❩ ❛ Everyone who keeps a secret, itches to tell it. ❜ ❨577❩ ❛ Coffee goes great with sudden death. ❜ ❨578❩ ❛ I should just listen to my gut and then do the opposite. ❜ ❨579❩ ❛ “Smile, it can't be that bad!” Yeah, actually, it can, jackwad. ❜ ❨580❩ ❛ Everything bad in the world already did happen. ❜ ❨581❩ ❛ You’re going to find peace? Like knowing is somehow going to fix you? ❜ ❨582❩ ❛ Instead of asking yourself what happened, just accept that it happened. ❜ ❨583❩ ❛ Homesick for a place I've never been. ❜ ❨584❩ ❛ Worries find you easily enough without inviting them. ❜ ❨585❩ ❛ It is always consoling to think of suicide. It's what gets one through many a bad night. ❜ ❨586❩ ❛ Do you understand this is serious? ❜ ❨587❩ ❛ Sometimes it feels good to fuck with something. Instead of always being fucked with. ❜ ❨588❩ ❛ How could you kill something you cared enough to name? ❜ ❨589❩ ❛ Draw a picture of my soul, and it’d be a scribble with fangs. ❜ ❨590❩ ❛ We have the same chemicals in our blood: shame, anger, greed. Unjustified nostalgia. ❜ ❨591❩ ❛ I appreciate a straightforward apology the way a tone-deaf person enjoys a fine piece of music. ❜ ❨592❩ ❛ The phrase fuck you may not rest on the tip of my tongue, but it’s near. Midtongue. ❜ ❨593❩ ❛ Nothing to it but to do it. ❜ ❨594❩ ❛ There are a lot of people who deserve a lesson, deserve to really understand, that nothing comes easy, that most things are going to go sour. ❜ ❨595❩ ❛ If ifs and buts were candies and nuts we’d all have a very Merry Christmas. ❜ ❨596❩ ❛ Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. ❜ ❨597❩ ❛ What does it do to a girl who knows her mother is a murderer? ❜ ❨598❩ ❛ That mean old bitch across the street bit it. ❜ ❨599❩ ❛ Survival is a talent. ❜ ❨600❩ ❛ Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. ❜ ❨601❩ ❛ Who has the courage to burn themselves? ❜ ❨602❩ ❛ Is insanity just a matter of dropping the act? ❜ ❨603❩ ❛ Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? ❜ ❨604❩ ❛ You need to be well fed, clothed, and housed to have time for this much self-pity. ❜ ❨605❩ ❛ When I am supposed to be awake, I am asleep; when I am supposed to speak, I am silent. When a pleasure offers itself to me, I avoid it. ❜ ❨606❩ ❛ There is thought, and then there is thinking about thoughts, and they don't feel the same. ❜ ❨607❩ ❛ In a strange way we are free. We've reached the end of the line. We have nothing more to lose. ❜ ❨608❩ ❛ The world won’t stop because we aren’t in it anymore. ❜ ❨609❩ ❛ I can't answer the real question. All I can tell you is, it's easy. ❜ ❨610❩ ❛ I am lighter, airier than I’ve been in years. ❜ ❨611❩ ❛ I am not dead, yet something in me definitely is. ❜ ❨612❩ ❛ You meant that as an insult but I am taking it as a compliment. ❜ ❨613❩ ❛ What life can recover from that? ❜ ❨614❩ ❛ It's a fairly accurate portrait of me. It's accurate but it isn't profound. ❜ ❨615❩ ❛ Pull yourself together! There's nothing wrong with you. ❜ ❨616❩ ❛ It's quiet. It's like― I don't know. It's like falling off a cliff. ❜ ❨617❩ ❛ Once you start parsing a face, it's a peculiar item: squishy, pointy, with lots of air vents and wet spots. ❜ ❨618❩ ❛ I lost him. I did it on purpose. ❜ ❨619❩ ❛ It’s a mean world. There’s nobody to take care of you out there. ❜ ❨620❩ ❛ Reality is getting too dense. ❜ ❨621❩ ❛ I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favourite word. ❜ ❨622❩ ❛ I can't come up with reassuring answers to the terrible questions you raise. ❜ ❨623❩ ❛ A spring day, the sort that gives people hope: all soft winds and delicate smells of warm earth. Suicide weather. ❜ ❨624❩ ❛ Twenty-five chocolate chip cookies would be the perfect dinner. ❜ ❨625❩ ❛ A thought is a hard thing to control. ❜ ❨626❩ ❛ Life demands skills I don’t have. ❜ ❨627❩ ❛ Light like this does not exist, but we wish it did. We wish the sun could make us young and beautiful. Most of all, we wish that everyone we knew could be brightened simply by our looking at them. ❜ ❨628❩ ❛ It never stops, even at night, it’s my lullaby. ❜ ❨629❩ ❛ Love blurs your vision; but after it recedes, you can see more clearly than ever. ❜ ❨630❩ ❛ This is the kind of thing you see if you sit in the darkness with open eyes. ❜ ❨631❩ ❛ I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. ❜ ❨632❩ ❛ Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. ❜ ❨633❩ ❛ Hatred is easier. Hatred is clear, metallic, one-handed, unwavering; unlike love. ❜ ❨634❩ ❛ Potential has a shelf life. ❜ ❨635❩ ❛ Don’t move. Stay like that, let me have that. ❜ ❨636❩ ❛ I have come to the edge, of the land. I could get pushed over. ❜ ❨637❩ ❛ Never pray for justice, because you might get some. ❜ ❨638❩ ❛ It disturbs me to learn I have hurt someone unintentionally. I want all my hurts to be intentional. ❜ ❨639❩ ❛ We have been shark to one another, but also lifeboat. That counts for something. ❜ ❨640❩ ❛ This is what I miss, not something that’s gone, but something that will never happen. ❜ ❨641❩ ❛ I am not good. I know too much to be good. I know myself. I know myself to be vengeful, greedy, secretive and sly. ❜ ❨642❩ ❛ You are amazing. Amazing and agonising and almost lethal. ❜ ❨643❩ ❛ In my dreams of this city I am always lost. ❜ ❨644❩ ❛ I don't know where these feelings have come from, I don’t know what I've done. ❜ ❨645❩ ❛ I am not the centre of your story, you are.  ❜ ❨646❩ ❛ I’m mad because you’re an asshole. ❜ ❨647❩ ❛ It's enormously pleasing to me, walking away. It's like being able to make people appear and vanish, at will. ❜ ❨648❩ ❛ There is never only one of anyone. ❜ ❨649❩ ❛ I can't do this without feeling I'm acting. ❜ ❨650❩ ❛ I am prepared for almost anything; except absence, except silence. ❜ ❨651❩ ❛ I’m losing my appetite for strangers. ❜ ❨652❩ ❛ You wear your cravings on the outside, like the suckers on a squid. You want it all. ❜ ❨653❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people weakens you. You are forced to understand their reasons for doing things. ❜ ❨654❩ ❛ I have lost confidence: perhaps all I will ever be is what I am now. ❜ ❨655❩ ❛ Echoes of light, shining out of the midst of nothing. It's old light, and there's not much of it. But it's enough to see by. ❜ ❨656❩ ❛ Whoever cares the most will lose. ❜ ❨657❩ ❛ Young women need unfairness, it’s one of their few defences.  ❜ ❨658❩ ❛ Time has gone on without you. ❜ ❨659❩ ❛ Don't let the bastards grind you down. ❜ ❨660❩ ❛ Who can remember pain, once it’s over? Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind. ❜ ❨661❩ ❛ Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse, for some. ❜ ❨662❩ ❛ There is more than one kind of freedom. Freedom to and freedom from. ❜ ❨663❩ ❛ Remember that forgiveness too is a power. ❜ ❨664❩ ❛ I am not your justification for existence. ❜ ❨665❩ ❛ I want to be valued, in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable. ❜ ❨666❩ ❛ If it's a story I'm telling, then I have control over the ending. ❜ ❨667❩ ❛ All you have to do is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard. ❜ ❨668❩ ❛ Truly amazing, what people can get used to, as long as there are a few compensations. ❜ ❨669❩ ❛ I want everything back, the way it was. ❜ ❨670❩ ❛ You can't help what you feel, but you can help how you behave. ❜ ❨671❩ ❛ Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you'd be boiled to death before you knew it. ❜ ❨672❩ ❛ To want is to have a weakness. ❜ ❨673❩ ❛ There isn't even an enemy you could put your finger on. ❜ ❨674❩ ❛ The past is a great darkness, filled with echoes. ❜ ❨675❩ ❛ Ordinary is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary. ❜ ❨676❩ ❛ I wish this story were different. I wish it were more civilised. I wish it showed me in a better light. ❜ ❨677❩ ❛ The night is mine, my own time, to do with it as I will, as long as I am quiet. As long as I don't move. As long as I lie still. ❜ ❨678❩ ❛ By telling you anything at all I'm at least believing in you. ❜ ❨679❩ ❛ Whatever is silenced will clamour to be heard. ❜ ❨680❩ ❛ Don't worry about forgiving me right now. There are more important things. ❜ ❨681❩ ❛ Keep the others safe. Don't let them suffer too much. If they have to die, let it be fast. ❜ ❨682❩ ❛ The body is so easily damaged, so easily disposed of, water and chemicals is all it is, hardly more to it than a jellyfish, drying on sand. ❜ ❨683❩ ❛ The world is full of weapons if you're looking for them. ❜ ❨684❩ ❛ Nobody's heart is perfect. ❜ ❨685❩ ❛ One false move and I'm dead. ❜ ❨686❩ ❛ Watch out. I've got my eye on you. ❜ ❨687❩ ❛ Fear is a powerful stimulant. ❜ ❨688❩ ❛ I couldn't afford to lose you. ❜ ❨689❩ ❛ Name one hero who was happy. ---- You can’t. ❜ ❨690❩ ❛ I feel like I could eat the world raw. ❜ ❨691❩ ❛ We are like gods at the dawning of the world. ❜ ❨692❩ ❛ I could recognise him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world. ❜ ❨693❩ ❛ There are no bargains between lion and men. I will kill you and eat you raw. ❜ ❨694❩ ❛ You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature. ❜ ❨695❩ ❛ He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. ❜ ❨696❩ ❛ Some men gain glory after they die, others fade. ❜ ❨697❩ ❛ I am made of memories. ❜ ❨698❩ ❛ Will you come with me? ❜ ❨699❩ ❛ I wish I had let you all die. ❜ ❨700❩ ❛ It is right to seek peace for the dead. You and I both know there is no peace for those who live after. ❜ ❨701❩ ❛ Bury us. Let us be free. ❜ ❨702❩ ❛ Go. He waits for you. ❜ ❨703❩ ❛ Nothing could eclipse the stain of this dirty, mortal mediocrity. ❜ ❨704❩ ❛ I know I have told you of this. ❜ ❨705❩ ❛ I don't know how you remember them all. I swear they look the same to me. ❜ ❨706❩ ❛ Perhaps you should get some new stories, so I don’t fucking kill myself of boredom. ❜ ❨707❩ ❛ I yearn for the darkness and silence of the underworld, where I can rest. ❜ ❨708❩ ❛ There is no honour in betraying your friends. ❜ ❨709❩ ❛ There is no answer. Whichever you choose, you are wrong. ❜ ❨710❩ ❛ Divine blood flows differently. ❜ ❨711❩ ❛ How is there glory in taking life? We die so easily. ❜ ❨712❩ ❛ This is what I will miss, I think. I will kill myself rather than miss it. ❜ ❨713❩ ❛ How long do we have? ❜ ❨714❩ ❛ Do you think we fight hopeless wars? ❜ ❨715❩ ❛ There is no law that gods must be fair. ❜ ❨716❩ ❛ I do not fear ridicule. I never have. ❜ ❨717❩ ❛ You were always better with words than I. ❜ ❨718❩ ❛ Who can be ashamed to lose to such beauty? ❜ ❨719❩ ❛ When you see beauty in desolation it changes something inside you. ❜ ❨720❩ ❛ That's how the madness of the world tries to colonise you: from the outside in, forcing you to live in its reality. ❜ ❨721❩ ❛ The shadows of the abyss are like the petals of a monstrous flower that shall blossom within the skull and expand the mind beyond what any man can bear. ❜ ❨722❩ ❛ Silence creates violence. ❜ ❨723❩ ❛ Some questions will ruin you if you are denied the answer long enough. ❜ ❨724❩ ❛ There are certain kinds of connections that are so deep that when broken you feel the snap of it inside you. ❜ ❨725❩ ❛ Nothing that ever lived and breathed was truly objective—even in a vacuum, even if all that possessed the brain was a self-immolating desire for the truth. ❜ ❨726❩ ❛ We all live in a kind of continuous dream. ❜ ❨727❩ ❛ You can either waste time worrying about a death that might not come or concentrate on what’s left to you. ❜ ❨728❩ ❛ What can you do when your five senses are not enough? ❜ ❨729❩ ❛ We will neither be what we had been nor what we would become once we reach our destination. ❜ ❨730❩ ❛ Perhaps my only real expertise, my only talent, is to endure beyond the endurable. ❜ ❨731❩ ❛ When you are too close to the centre of a mystery there is no way to pull back. ❜ ❨732❩ ❛ I long ago stopped believing in promises. Biological imperatives, yes. Environmental factors, yes. Promises, no. ❜ ❨733❩ ❛ I look not for shooting stars but for fixed ones, and I try to imagine what kind of life lives in those celestial tidal pools so far from us. ❜ ❨734❩ ❛ I hesitated for just a moment. Some part of me wanted to see the creature, I think. If so, it was a very small part. I ran. ❜ ❨735❩ ❛ I don’t require any of this to have a deeper meaning. ❜ ❨736❩ ❛ All of this speculation is incomplete, inexact, inaccurate, useless. ❜ ❨737❩ ❛ We don’t have real answers, because we still don’t know what questions to ask. Our instruments are useless, our methodology broken, our motivations selfish. ❜ ❨738❩ ❛ This part I will do alone. Don’t follow. ❜ ❨739❩ ❛ People my entire life have told me I am too much in control, but that has never been the case. I have never truly been in control. ❜ ❨740❩ ❛ Has there always been someone like me to bury the bodies, to have regrets, to carry on after everyone else was dead? ❜ ❨741❩ ❛ I loved them, but I didn’t need them, and I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. ❜ ❨742❩ ❛ Places can impress themselves upon me, and I can become part of them with ease. ❜ ❨743❩ ❛ There is no one with me. I am all by myself. ❜ ❨744❩ ❛ Pretending often leads to becoming a reasonable facsimile of what you mimic. ❜ ❨745❩ ❛ I think you're confusing suicide with self-destruction, and they're very different. Almost none of us commit suicide, whereas almost all of us self-destruct. ❜ ❨746❩ ❛ What did you eat? You had rations for only two weeks. You were there for nearly four months. ❜ ❨747❩ ❛ Something here is making giant waves in the gene pool. ❜ ❨748❩ ❛ I need to know what’s inside. ❜ ❨749❩ ❛ These aren't decisions. They're impulses ❜ ❨750❩ ❛ What do you think I do when you’re away? Do you think I’m out in the garden pinning, looking up at the sky? ❜ ❨751❩ ❛ If I know what’s happened I can save their life. ❜ ❨752❩ ❛ They either went crazy or something in here killed them. ❜ ❨753❩ ❛ Something is coming through the fence! ❜ ❨754❩ ❛ Nothing is written in the stars. Not these stars, nor any others. No one controls your destiny. ❜ ❨755❩ ❛ People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us. ❜ ❨756❩ ❛ Happy endings are still endings. ❜ ❨757❩ ❛ We believe in all sorts of things that aren't true; -- we call it history. ❜ ❨758❩ ❛ Does the devil ever struggle to be good again, or if so is he not a devil? ❜ ❨759❩ ❛ In the lives of children, pumpkins turn into coaches, mice and rats turn into men. When we grow up, we realise it is far more common for men to turn into rats. ❜ ❨760❩ ❛ Girls need cold anger. They need the cold simmer, the ceaseless grudge, the talent to avoid forgiveness, the side stepping of compromise.  ❜ ❨761❩ ❛ Love makes hunters of us all. ❜ ❨762❩ ❛ There is much to hate in this world and way too much to love. ❜ ❨763❩ ❛ You confuse not speaking with not listening. ❜ ❨764❩ ❛ As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it? It liberates you from convention. ❜ ❨765❩ ❛ The eye is always caught by light, but shadows have more to say. ❜ ❨766❩ ❛ Not everyone is born a witch or a saint. Not everyone is born talented, or crooked, or blessed; some are born definite in no particular at all. ❜ ❨767❩ ❛ We are a fountain of shimmering contradictions, most of us. ❜ ❨768❩ ❛ The wickedness of men is that their power breeds stupidity and blindness. ❜ ❨769❩ ❛ I know you don't want to hear this but someone has to say it! You are out of control! ❜ ❨770❩ ❛ Even at the very worst - there is always choice. ❜ ❨771❩ ❛ Maybe the definition of home is the place where you are never forgiven. So you may always belong there, bound by guilt. And maybe the cost of belonging is worth it. ❜ ❨772❩ ❛ Cross a man and you struggle, one of you wins, you adjust and go on -- or you lie there dead. Cross a woman and the entire universe is changed. ❜ ❨773❩ ❛ That was such a wonderful time, even in its strangeness and sadness. Life isn't the same now. It's wonderful, but it isn't the same. ❜ ❨774❩ ❛ I don't care for approval, and I don't mind doing without. ❜ ❨775❩ ❛ It's where I live. A permanent state of bereavement. This is nothing new. ❜ ❨776❩ ❛ Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Always the godfather, never the god. ❜ ❨777❩ ❛ The world unwraps itself to you, again and again as soon as you are ready to see it anew. ❜ ❨778❩ ❛ Evil is an act, not an appetite. Everyone has the appetite. If you give in to it, that act is evil. The appetite is normal. ❜ ❨779❩ ❛ How many haven't wanted to slash the throat of some boor across the dining room table?  ❜ ❨780❩ ❛ Even God used silence as a strategy. ❜ ❨781❩ ❛ I learned failure early and mastered it. ❜ ❨782❩ ❛ It isn't whether you do it well or ill, it's that you do it all. ❜ ❨783❩ ❛ This is why you shouldn't fall in love, it blinds you. Love is a very wicked distraction. ❜ ❨784❩ ❛ Wisdom is not the understanding of mystery. Wisdom is accepting that mystery is beyond understanding. That's what makes it mystery. ❜ ❨785❩ ❛ Wrong takes an awful long time to be proven, in my experience. ❜ ❨786❩ ❛ Such brightness, as you know, decays brilliantly. ❜ ❨787❩ ❛ I take responsibility only for the future, not the past. The past can't hurt you the way the future can. ❜ ❨788❩ ❛ Tell me to mind my own business, tell me to go fuck myself, to piss off, go on, say it, but don’t tell me nothing’s wrong. ❜ ❨789❩ ❛ The truth isn't a thing of fact or reason. It is simply what everyone agrees on. ❜ ❨790❩ ❛ One can't make peace with another by force. ❜ ❨791❩ ❛ I am a forgettable leaf on a tree. ❜ ❨792❩ ❛ That's all I want; --- to do no harm. ❜ ❨793❩ ❛ I only believe in the opposite of luck, whatever that is. ❜ ❨794❩ ❛ Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves. ❜ ❨795❩ ❛ You’re too young to know that the heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and thanks to that we manage to endure the burden of the past. ❜ ❨796❩ ❛ Love, no matter what else it might be, is a natural talent. You are either born knowing how, or you never know. ❜ ❨797❩ ❛ Whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life. ❜ ❨798❩ ❛ There is no God worth worrying about. ❜ ❨799❩ ❛ The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love. ❜ ❨800❩ ❛ Wisdom comes to us when it can no longer do any good. ❜ ❨801❩ ❛ Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the very end in itself. ❜ ❨802❩ ❛ Only God knows how much I love you. ❜ ❨803❩ ❛ There is no greater glory than to die for love. ❜ ❨804❩ ❛ Nothing resembles a person as much as the way he dies. ❜ ❨805❩ ❛ Take advantage of it now, while you are young, and suffer all you can, because these things don't last your whole life. ❜ ❨806❩ ❛ Today, when I saw you, I realised that what is between us is nothing more than an illusion. ❜ ❨807❩ ❛ I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century. ❜ ❨808❩ ❛ I want to be myself again, to recover all that I was obliged to give up. ❜ ❨809❩ ❛ The only thing worse than bad health is a bad name. ❜ ❨810❩ ❛ This soup tastes like windows. ❜ ❨811❩ ❛ Why do you insist on talking about what does not exist? ❜ ❨812❩ ❛ One has to live a long time to know a man's true nature. ❜ ❨813❩ ❛ No, not rich, I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing. ❜ ❨814❩ ❛ My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse. ❜ ❨815❩ ❛ That may be the reason he does so many things, so that he will not have to think. ❜ ❨816❩ ❛ Love if it exists, is something separate: another life. ❜ ❨817❩ ❛ Things did not go as badly for me as they would for you. ❜ ❨818❩ ❛ There are things you do only for love. ❜ ❨819❩ ❛ I’ll have plenty of time to rest when I die. ❜ ❨820❩ ❛ There is no innocence more dangerous than the innocence of age. ❜ ❨821❩ ❛ You treat me as if I were just anybody. ❜ ❨822❩ ❛ The symptoms of love are the same as those of cholera. ❜ ❨823❩ ❛ There is no law, human or divine, that you have not ignored. ❜ ❨824❩ ❛ Why is it that I feel I've known you so many years? ❜ ❨825❩ ❛ Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. ❜ ❨826❩ ❛ It doesn't matter what you do, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. ❜ ❨827❩ ❛ We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real? ❜ ❨828❩ ❛ There must be something, something we can’t imagine, to make a woman stay in a burning house; there must be something there. You don’t stay for nothing. ❜ ❨829❩ ❛ If you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you'll never learn. ❜ ❨830❩ ❛ If you drown, at least die knowing you were heading for shore. ❜ ❨831❩ ❛ You can't make people listen. They have to come round in their own time, wondering what happened and why the world blew up around them. ❜ ❨832❩ ❛ It was a pleasure to burn. ❜ ❨833❩ ❛ I'm antisocial, they say. I don't mix. It's so strange. I'm very social indeed. It all depends on what you mean by social, doesn't it? ❜ ❨834❩ ❛ Being with people is nice. But I don't think it's social to get a bunch of people together and then not let them talk, do you? ❜ ❨835❩ ❛ Do you notice how people hurt each other nowadays? ❜ ❨836❩ ❛ Who knows who might be the target of the well-read man? ❜ ❨837❩ ❛ I don't talk things. I talk the meaning of things. ❜ ❨838❩ ❛ I'll hold on to the world tight some day. I've got one finger on it now; that's a beginning. ❜ ❨839❩ ❛ I just want someone to hear what I have to say. And maybe if I talk long enough it'll make sense. ❜ ❨840❩ ❛ That's the good part of dying; when you've nothing to lose, you run any risk you want. ❜ ❨841❩ ❛ Someday we'll build the biggest goddamn steamshovel in history and dig the biggest grave of all time and shove war in it and cover it up. ❜ ❨842❩ ❛ You're not like the others. I've seen a few; I know. When I talk, you look at me. ❜ ❨843❩ ❛ You're afraid of making mistakes. Don't be. Mistakes can be profited by. ❜ ❨844❩ ❛ When they give you lined paper, write the other way. ❜ ❨845❩ ❛ The sun burnt every day. It burnt time. ❜ ❨846❩ ❛ We have everything we need to be happy but we aren't happy. Something is missing. ❜ ❨847❩ ❛ I feel I'm doing what I should've done a lifetime ago. ❜ ❨848❩ ❛ I'm not afraid. Maybe it's because I'm doing the right thing at last. Maybe it's because I've done a rash thing and don't want to look the coward to you. ❜ ❨849❩ ❛ Good God, who were those men? I never saw them before in my life! ❜ ❨850❩ ❛ How do you get so empty? Who takes it out of you? ❜ ❨851❩ ❛ It must be right. It seems so right. ❜ ❨852❩ ❛ To everything there is a season. Yes. A time to break down, and a time to build up. A time to keep silence and a time to speak. ❜ ❨853❩ ❛ It's my game. And no one can help me. Not even you. ❜ ❨854❩ ❛ What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven. Earth is earth. Dead is dead. You’ll find out for yourself soon enough. ❜ ❨855❩ ❛ Death is a long process. Your body is just the first part of you that croaks. Beyond that, your dreams have to die. Then your expectations. Your anger and memories must die. Your ego. Your pride and shame and ambition and hope. ❜ ❨856❩ ❛ Help me give up my addiction to hope. ❜ ❨857❩ ❛ Life is short, death is forever. ❜ ❨858❩ ❛ Hope is something really tough and tenacious you have to give up. It’s an addiction to break. ❜ ❨859❩ ❛ If the living are haunted by the dead, then the dead are haunted by their own mistakes. ❜ ❨860❩ ❛ We all wish to be pursued. We all long to be desired. ❜ ❨861❩ ❛ All the demons of hell formerly reigned as gods in previous cultures. No it's not fair, but one man's god is another man's devil. ❜ ❨862❩ ❛ I can become someone else, not out of pressure and desperation, but merely because a new life sounds fun or interesting or joyful. ❜ ❨863❩ ❛ It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities. ❜ ❨864❩ ❛ You fucked up. Game over. So just relax. ❜ ❨865❩ ❛ The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul. ❜ ❨866❩ ❛ If killing you will end my existence as well, be it. Small loss. Such a life, as your puppet, is not worth living. ❜ ❨867❩ ❛ I might be a touch of a sadist and a little bit jejune but at least I'm not a victim, not any longer. I hope. ❜ ❨868❩ ❛ Dying seems like the greatest weakness, and in a world where people say you're lazy for not shaving your legs, then being dead seems like the ultimate character flaw. ❜ ❨869❩ ❛ Any concept of right versus wrong, is merely a cultural construct relative to one specific time and place. ❜ ❨870❩ ❛ To prove that I exist I must kill you. ❜ ❨871❩ ❛ I'd say that my life has been a way-too-long case history of chasing rainbows. ❜ ❨872❩ ❛ The world is a battle for attention, a war to be heard. ❜ ❨873❩ ❛ Every garden looks beautiful in May. ❜ ❨874❩ ❛ When we neglect to fear such brittle monstrosity, we render it powerless. ❜ ❨875❩ ❛ My taste for power continues to grow, as does my ability to accrue it. ❜ ❨876❩ ❛ Such language! Why don't you just take a dump in my ears? ❜ ❨877❩ ❛ You’d be foolish to count on people displaying high standards of honesty. ❜ ❨878❩ ❛ Depending on her mood, she can be more frightening than any demon or devil you might ever run across. ❜ ❨879❩ ❛ Cross your fingers! Maybe death won't happen to you. ❜ ❨880❩ ❛ Do not die while wearing cheap shoes. ❜ ❨881❩ ❛ Old habits die hard. ❜ ❨882❩ ❛ It's our attachments to a fixed identity that torture us. ❜ ❨883❩ ❛ What do I think I am? In a thousand words; I don't have a clue. ❨884❩ ❛ If I am to be saved it is because your love redeems me. ❜ ❨885❩ ❛ All I wanted was to be loved for myself. ❜ ❨886❩ ❛ I have tasted all the happiness the world can offer. ❜ ❨887❩ ❛ Shall we pity him? Shall we curse him? ❜ ❨888❩ ❛ You have a heart that can hold the entire empire of the world. ❜ ❨889❩ ❛ Look, I am not laughing now, crying, crying for you. ❜ ❨890❩ ❛ Tonight I gave you my soul, and I am dead. ❜ ❨891❩ ❛ You are afraid of me! And yet I am not really wicked. Love me and you shall see! ❜ ❨892❩ ❛ Are people so unhappy when they love? --- Yes, when they love and are not sure of being loved. ❜ ❨893❩ ❛ Your soul is a beautiful thing. No emperor received so fair a gift. The angels wept tonight. ❜ ❨894❩ ❛ Blood!...Blood!... That's a good thing! ❜ ❨895❩ ❛ Now I want to live like everybody else. I want to have a life like everybody else. ❜ ❨896❩ ❛ You will be the happiest of women. And we will sing, all by ourselves, till we swoon away with delight. ❜ ❨897❩ ❛ I should be as gentle as a lamb; and you could do anything with me that you pleased. ❜ ❨898❩ ❛ I am going to die of love, I am dying of love. That's how it is. I loved you so. I still love you so. ❜ ❨899❩ ❛ I am dying of love for her, I tell you! If only you knew how beautiful she was when she let me kiss her. ❜ ❨900❩ ❛ He fills me with horror but I do not hate him. How can I hate him? ❜ ❨901❩ ❛ Holy angel, in Heaven blessed, my spirit longs with thee to rest. ❜ ❨902❩ ❛ Nothing is colder or more dead than my heart. ❜ ❨903❩ ❛ I had loved an angel and now I despise a woman. ❜ ❨904❩ ❛ Our lives are one masked ball. ❜ ❨905❩ ❛ Why do you condemn a man whom you have never met, whom no one knows and about whom even you yourself know nothing? ❜ ❨906❩ ❛ He would commit murder for me. ❜ ❨907❩ ❛ If I don't save her from the hands of that humbug, she is lost. But I shall save her. ❜ ❨908❩ ❛ We will go from here together or die together. ❜ ❨909❩ ❛ Your fear, your terror, all of that is just love and love of the most exquisite kind, the kind which people do not admit even to themselves. The kind that gives you a thrill, when you think of it. ❜ ❨910❩ ❛ Destiny has chained you to me forever. ❜ ❨911❩ ❛ You must never ask me that. ❜ ❨912❩ ❛ Are you afraid that you will change your mind? ❜ ❨913❩ ❛ You must come and fetch me in my dressing room at midnight exactly. ❜ ❨914❩ ❛ The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps. ❜ ❨915❩ ❛ I have never understood how people can blithely disregard the damage they do by following their hearts. ❜ ❨916❩ ❛ There’s something comforting about the sight of strangers safe at home. ❜ ❨917❩ ❛ I have lost control over everything, even the places in my head. ❜ ❨918❩ ❛ It’s possible to miss what you’ve never had, to even mourn for it. ❜ ❨919❩ ❛ There’s nothing so painful, so corrosive, as suspicion. ❜ ❨920❩ ❛ When did you become so weak? ❜ ❨921❩ ❛ I don’t know where that strength went, I don’t remember losing it. I think that over time it got chipped away, bit by bit, by life, by the living of it. ❜ ❨922❩ ❛ Let’s be honest: women are still only really valued for two things—their looks and their role as mothers. ❜ ❨923❩ ❛ Sadness gets boring after a while, for the sad person and for everyone around them. ❜ ❨924❩ ❛ I’m playing at real life instead of actually living it. ❜ ❨925❩ ❛ I’ve just got to let myself feel the pain, because if I don’t, if I keep numbing it, it’ll never really go away. ❜ ❨926❩ ❛ I am not the girl I used to be. I am no longer desirable, I’m off-putting in some way. It’s as if people can see the damage written all over me, can see it in my face, the way I hold myself, the way I move. ❜ ❨927❩ ❛ Who was it that said following your heart is a good thing? It is pure egotism, a selfishness to conquer all. ❜ ❨928❩ ❛ It’s impossible to resist the kindness of strangers. ❜ ❨929❩ ❛ Sometimes I catch myself trying to remember the last time I had meaningful physical contact with another person, just a hug or a heartfelt squeeze of my hand, and my heart twitches. ❜ ❨930❩ ❛ I have to find a way of making myself happy, I have to stop looking for happiness elsewhere. ❜ ❨931❩ ❛ How did I find myself here? I wonder where it started, my decline; I wonder at what point I could have halted it. Where did I take the wrong turn? ❜ ❨932❩ ❛ Now look -- Now look what you made me do. ❜ ❨933❩ ❛ It’s okay, whatever you did, whatever you’ve done: you suffered, you hurt, you deserve forgiveness. ❜ ❨934❩ ❛ They’re what I lost, they’re everything I want to be. ❜ ❨935❩ ❛ You broke me and I broke us. ❜ ❨936❩ ❛ I’ve been the fool. If he does it with you, he’ll do it to you. ❜ ❨937❩ ❛ I’d never realised, not until now, how shameful it is to be pitied. ❜ ❨938❩ ❛ Sometimes, I don’t want to go anywhere, I think I’ll be happy if I never have to set foot outside the house again. ❜ ❨939❩ ❛ I don’t believe in soul mates, but there’s an understanding between us that I just haven’t felt before, or at least, not for a long time. ❜ ❨940❩ ❛ There can be no greater agony, nothing can be more painful than the not knowing, which will never end. ❜ ❨941❩ ❛ Being the other woman is a huge turn-on, there’s no point in denying it: you’re the one he can’t help but betray his wife for, even though he loves her. That’s just how irresistible you are. ❜ ❨942❩ ❛ I feel a rush of gratitude so strong, it feels almost like love. ❜ ❨943❩ ❛ You don’t know how determined I can be. Once I’ve made my mind up, I’m a force to be reckoned with. ❜ ❨944❩ ❛ The more I want to be oblivious, the less I can be. Life and light will not let me be. ❜ ❨945❩ ❛ You don’t have to be afraid of being alone. It’s not the worst thing, is it? ❜ ❨946❩ ❛ I have felt this way before. On a larger scale, to a more intense degree, of course, but I remember the quality of the pain. You don’t forget it. ❜ ❨947❩ ❛ If he thinks I’m going to sit around crying, he’s got another thing coming. ❜ ❨948❩ ❛ I don’t like to lose. It’s not like me. None of this is like me. I don’t get rejected. I’m the one who walks away. ❜ ❨949❩ ❛ I don’t remember anger, raging fury. I remember fear. ❜ ❨950❩ ❛ I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept in days. I hate it, hate insomnia more than anything, just lying there, brain going round, tick, tick, tick, tick. ❜ ❨951❩ ❛ Maybe the courage I need has nothing to do with telling the truth and everything to do with walking away. ❜ ❨952❩ ❛ I’m not beautiful, and I can’t have kids, so what does that make me? Worthless. ❜ ❨953❩ ❛ Failure cloaked me like a mantle, it overwhelmed me, dragged me under and I gave up hope. ❜ ❨954❩ ❛ It’s an odd thing to say, but I think this all the time; I don’t feel bad enough. ❜ ❨955❩ ❛ Some battles aren’t worth fighting. ❜ ❨956❩ ❛ I never felt guilty. I pretended I did. I had to. ❜ ❨957❩ ❛ I never meant for any of this to happen, we fell in love, what could we do? ❜ ❨958❩ ❛ What bothers me most is that I haven’t got to the end of my story, and I can’t start over with someone else, it’s too hard. ❜ ❨959❩ ❛ A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended. ❜ ❨960❩ ❛ It isn’t only wickedness and scheming that make people unhappy, it is confusion and misunderstanding. ❜ ❨961❩ ❛ Falling in love can be achieved in a single word—a glance. ❜ ❨962❩ ❛ Though you think the world is at your feet, it can rise up and tread on you. ❜ ❨963❩ ❛ I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life. ❜ ❨964❩ ❛ It might hurt, it is horribly inconvenient, no good might come of it, but it is what it is to be in love. ❜ ❨965❩ ❛ It was always an impossible task, and that was precisely the point. ❜ ❨966❩ ❛ Come back, come back to me. ❜ ❨967❩ ❛ In my thoughts I make love to you all day long. ❜ ❨968❩ ❛ The truth is I feel rather light headed and foolish in your presence and I don’t think I can blame the heat. ❜ ❨969❩ ❛ Beauty occupies a narrow band. Ugliness, on the other hand, has infinite variation. ❜ ❨970❩ ❛ Is there any meaning in my life that the inevitable death awaiting me does not destroy? ❜ ❨971❩ ❛ However, withered, I still feel myself to be exactly the same person I’ve always been. ❜ ❨972❩ ❛ Hate is a feeling as pure as love, but dispassionate and icily rational. ❜ ❨973❩ ❛ I’m going mad. Let me not be mad. ❜ ❨974❩ ❛ Is everyone really as alive as I am? ❜ ❨975❩ ❛ Every now and then, quite unintentionally, someone teaches you something about yourself. ❜ ❨976❩ ❛ Something has happened, hasn’t it? ❜ ❨977❩ ❛ I like to think that it isn’t weakness or evasion, but a final act of kindness. ❜ ❨978❩ ❛ Is it possible that I am, in the modern term, in denial? ❜ ❨979❩ ❛ How could anyone presume to know the world through the eyes of an insect? ❜ ❨980❩ ❛ Not everything has a cause. Some things are simply so. ❜ ❨981❩ ❛ I’ll be quite honest with you. I’m torn between breaking your neck here and throwing you down the stairs. ❜ ❨982❩ ❛ How old do you have to be before you know the difference between right and wrong? ❜ ❨983❩ ❛ It was never meant to be read. ❜ ❨984❩ ❛ If I fell in the river, would you save me? ❜ ❨985❩ ❛ That was an incredibly bloody stupid thing to do. ❜ ❨986❩ ❛ I want to thank you for saving my life. I’ll be eternally grateful to you. ❜ ❨987❩ ❛ I’m very, very sorry for the terrible distress that I have caused. I’m very, very sorry. ❜ ❨988❩ ❛ Don’t call me that! – Please don’t call me that. ❜ ❨989❩ ❛ It may be the wrong decision, but fuck it, it’s mine. ❜ ❨990❩ ❛ Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer. ❜ ❨991❩ ❛ No one ever really gets used to nightmares. ❜ ❨992❩ ❛ I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I’m not. ❜ ❨993❩ ❛ Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila. ❜ ❨994❩ ❛ Some people reflect light, some deflect it, you by some miracle, seem to collect it. ❜ ❨995❩ ❛ Beautiful women are always drawn to men they think will keep them beautiful. ❜ ❨996❩ ❛ The ruminations are mine, let the world be yours. ❜ ❨997❩ ❛ You will fulfil a promise I made years ago but failed to keep. ❜ ❨998❩ ❛ Darkness never satisfies. Especially if it takes something away which it almost always invariably does. ❜ ❨999❩ ❛ I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore. ❜ ❨1000❩ ❛ What can I say, I’m a sucker for abandoned stuff, misplaced stuff, forgotten stuff, any old stuff. ❜ ❨1001❩ ❛ Is it possible to love something so much, you imagine it wants to destroy you only because it has denied you? ❜ ❨1002❩ ❛ It’s just silent, no sound at all. It’s like something’s waiting. ❜ ❨1003❩ ❛ I guess I’m hoping the weapons will make me feel better, grant me some kind of fucking control. ❜ ❨1004❩ ❛ Oh and something else: – Fuck you. ❜ ❨1005❩ ❛ God I’ve never been afraid like this. ❜ ❨1006❩ ❛ I miss you. I love you. There’s no second I’ve lived that you can’t call your own. ❜ ❨1007❩ ❛ I’m so tired. Sleep’s been stalking me for too long to remember. Inevitable I suppose. ❜ ❨1008❩ ❛ Not seeing the rip doesn’t mean you automatically get to keep clear of the Hey-I’m-Bleeding part. ❜ ❨1009❩ ❛ These days fantasies flourish and die like summer flies. ❜ ❨1010❩ ❛ Yeah I know, I know. This shit’s getting ridiculous. ❜ ❨1011❩ ❛ ‘Fuck’ and 'fall for’ have very different meanings. The first one you do as much as you can. The second one you never ever, ever do. ❜ ❨1012❩ ❛ It’s a nice idea but it reeks of hope. False hope. ❜ ❨1013❩ ❛ It’s, well…one thing in two words: fucked up…very fucked up. Okay three words, four words, who the hell cares…very very fucked up. ❜ ❨1014❩ ❛ Do you think I could spend the night at your place?  ❜ ❨1015❩ ❛ Any fool can pray. ❜ ❨1016❩ ❛ I feel like I haven’t slept in months. My neighbours are scared of me. ❜ ❨1017❩ ❛ I’ve lost my mind? Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I’m just really drunk. ❜ ❨1018❩ ❛ Perhaps by cleaning out my system I’ll come to a clearing where I can ease myself into peace. ❜ ❨1019❩ ❛ I should be dead. Why am I still here? ❜ ❨1020❩ ❛ Fuck if I know. Your guess is as good as mine. ❜ ❨1021❩ ❛ You are my flesh. You are my bones. I know you too well. I read you too perfectly. ❜ ❨1022❩ ❛ Not all complex problems have easy solutions. ❜ ❨1023❩ ❛ Do you believe in God? I don’t think I ever asked you that one. ❜ ❨1024❩ ❛ We all create stories to protect ourselves. ❜ ❨1025❩ ❛ Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ❜ ❨1026❩ ❛ These days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. ❜ ❨1027❩ ❛ You like that crap because it reminds you of you. ❜ ❨1028❩ ❛ You may suddenly realise things are not how you perceived them to be at all. ❜ ❨1029❩ ❛ The two hardest tests are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter. ❜ ❨1030❩ ❛ People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves. ❜ ❨1031❩ ❛ Be crazy! But learn how to be crazy without being the center of attention. Be brave enough to live different. ❜ ❨1032❩ ❛ You are someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that in my view is a serious illness. ❜ ❨1033❩ ❛ God chose you to be different. ❜ ❨1034❩ ❛ Why are you disappointing God with this kind of attitude? ❜ ❨1035❩ ❛ You have two choices, to control your mind or to let your mind control you. ❜ ❨1036❩ ❛ Everyone is indeed crazy, but the craziest are the ones who don't know they're crazy; they just keep repeating what others tell them to. ❜ ❨1037❩ ❛ Haven't you learned anything, not even with the approach of death?  ❜ ❨1038❩ ❛ If people don't like it, they can complain. And if they don't have the courage to complain, that's their problem. ❜ ❨1039❩ ❛ Nothing in this world happens by chance. ❜ ❨1040❩ ❛ I want to continue living my life the way I dream it, and not the way the other people want it to be. ❜ ❨1041❩ ❛ Be like the fountain that overflows, not like the cistern that merely contains. ❜ ❨1042❩ ❛ Collective madness is called sanity. ❜ ❨1043❩ ❛ Consider each day a miracle - which indeed it is, when you consider the number of unexpected things that could happen in each second of our fragile existences. ❜ ❨1044❩ ❛ You say they create their own reality, but what is reality? ❜ ❨1045❩ ❛ Many people don't allow themselves to love because there are a lot of things at risk. A lot of future and a lot of past. ❜ ❨1046❩ ❛ Death frees from the fear of dying. ❜ ❨1047❩ ❛ The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort. ❜ ❨1048❩ ❛ The happier people can be, the unhappier they are. ❜ ❨1049❩ ❛ Life is always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act. ❜ ❨1050❩ ❛ It's best to accept life as it really is and not as you imagined it to be. ❜ ❨1051❩ ❛ You don't seem mad at all. ❜ ❨1052❩ ❛ We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us. ❜ ❨1053❩ ❛ You’re what you are, not what others make of you. ❜ ❨1054❩ ❛ Am I cured? ❜ ❨1055❩ ❛ Real love changes and grows with time and discovers new ways of expressing itself. ❜ ❨1056❩ ❛ A lot of people think something is right, and so that thing becomes right. Is that it? ❜ ❨1057❩ ❛ They think they're normal, because they all do the same thing. ❜ ❨1058❩ ❛ I didn't know that other ‘me’s existed inside me, ‘Me’s that I could love. ❜ ❨1059❩ ❛ I have no idea what's awaiting me. ❜ ❨1060❩ ❛ What will happen when this all ends? ❜ ❨1061❩ ❛ I know that you are capable of great deeds. ❜ ❨1062❩ ❛ A loveless world is a dead world, and always there comes an hour when one is weary of prisons, of one's work, and of devotion to duty, and all one craves for is a loved face, the warmth and wonder of a loving heart. ❜ ❨1063❩ ❛ The truth is that everyone is bored. ❜ ❨1064❩ ❛ I feel more fellowship with the defeated than with saints. Heroism and sanctity don't really appeal to me, I imagine. ❜ ❨1065❩ ❛ If there is one thing one can always yearn for, and sometimes attain, it is human love. ❜ ❨1066❩ ❛ Who would dare to assert that eternal happiness can compensate for even a single moment's suffering? ❜ ❨1067❩ ❛ It's not easy. I've been thinking it over for years. ❜ ❨1068❩ ❛ While we loved each other we didn't need words to make ourselves understood. ❜ ❨1069❩ ❛ People are more often bad than good. ❜ ❨1070❩ ❛ I don't believe in heroism; I know it's easy and I've learned that it can be murderous. ❜ ❨1071❩ ❛ What interests me is living and dying for what one loves. ❜ ❨1072❩ ❛ In fact, nobody is capable of really thinking about anyone, even in the worst calamity. ❜ ❨1073❩ ❛ Nothing in the world is worth turning one's back on what one loves. ❜ ❨1074❩ ❛ Again and again there comes a time in history when the man who dares to say that two and two make four is punished with death. ❜ ❨1075❩ ❛ There are more things to admire in men then to despise. ❜ ❨1076❩ ❛ It is in the thick of calamity that one gets hardened to the truth - in other words, to silence. ❜ ❨1077❩ ❛ What on earth prompted you to take a hand in this? ❜ ❨1078❩ ❛ Your code of morals? What code, if I may ask? ❜ ❨1079❩ ❛ I'm fumbling in the dark, struggling to make something out. But I've long ceased finding anything. ❜ ❨1080❩ ❛ No doubt our love is still there, but quite simply it is unusable, heavy to carry, inert inside of us, sterile as crime or condemnation. ❜ ❨1081❩ ❛ I’m not happy to go, but one needn't be happy to make another start. ❜ ❨1082❩ ❛ I am incapable of suffering for a long time, or being happy for a long time. Which means that I am incapable of anything really worth while. ❜ ❨1083❩ ❛ I should have found the words to keep her with me. ❜ ❨1084❩ ❛ We can't stir a finger in this world without the risk of bringing death to somebody. ❜ ❨1085❩ ❛ The evil that is in the world comes out of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence, if they lack understanding. ❜ ❨1086❩ ❛ There are always flies and itches. That’s why life is difficult to live. ❜ ❨1087❩ ❛ The best protection against anything is a good bottle of wine. ❜ ❨1088❩ ❛ There is no peace without hope. ❜ ❨1089❩ ❛ It's enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment. ❜ ❨1090❩ ❛ There is always something left to love. ❜ ❨1091❩ ❛ A person doesn’t die when he should but when he can. ❜ ❨1092❩ ❛ Things have a life of their own. It's simply a matter of waking up their souls. ❜ ❨1093❩ ❛ Tell me something: why are you fighting? ❜ ❨1094❩ ❛ I've come to realise only just now that I'm fighting because of pride. ❜ ❨1095❩ ❛ One minute of reconciliation is worth more than a whole life of friendship. ❜ ❨1096❩ ❛ It's better than not knowing why you're fighting. Or fighting, like you, for something that doesn't have any meaning for anyone. ❜ ❨1097❩ ❛ Holy Mother of God! ❜ ❨1098❩ ❛ A person does not belong to a place until there is someone dead under the ground. ❜ ❨1099❩ ❛ I was born a son of a bitch and I'm going to die a son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1100❩ ❛ Bad luck doesn't have any chinks in it. ❜ ❨1101❩ ❛ I plead youth as a mitigating circumstance. ❜ ❨1102❩ ❛ Get those bad thoughts out of your head. You're going to be happy. ❜ ❨1103❩ ❛ Children inherit their parents' madness. ❜ ❨1104❩ ❛ I'll turn to ashes in here but I won't give this miserable town the pleasure of seeing me weep. ❜ ❨1105❩ ❛ You would be good in a war. Where you put your eye, you put your bullet. ❜ ❨1106❩ ❛ Men demand much more than you think. ❜ ❨1107❩ ❛ Even the craziest and most persistent love is just a temporary truth. ❜ ❨1108❩ ❛ If we’re alone you can whisper in my ear any crap you can think of. ❜ ❨1109❩ ❛ You have taken this horrible game very seriously and you have done well because you are doing your duty. ❜ ❨1110❩ ❛ We have the right to pull down your pants and give you a whipping at the first sign of disrespect. ❜ ❨1111❩ ❛ What worries me is not your shooting me, because after all, for people like us it's a natural death. ❜ ❨1112❩ ❛ What worries me is that you've ended up as bad as they are. ❜ ❨1113❩ ❛ It is characteristic of men to deny hunger once their appetites are satisfied. ❜ ❨1114❩ ❛ Dying is much more difficult than one imagines. ❜ ❨1115❩ ❛ If you have to go crazy, please go crazy all by yourself! ❜ ❨1116❩ ❛ We have still not had a death. ❜ ❨1117❩ ❛ How awful, the way time passes. ❜ ❨1118❩ ❛ You may be in command of your war, but I'm in command of my house. ❜ ❨1119❩ ❛ I missed you every hour. ❜ ❨1120❩ ❛ You know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. ❜ ❨1121❩ ❛ I’ve risked my life for you. ❜ ❨1122❩ ❛ The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak. ❜ ❨1123❩ ❛ I love you, even the part of you that loved him. ❜ ❨1124❩ ❛ I’m sorry it took me so long to see you. ❜ ❨1125❩ ❛ I never really belonged anywhere. ❜ ❨1126❩ ❛ Thanks for being my best friend and making my life bearable.  ❜ ❨1127❩ ❛ Thanks for finding me. ❜ ❨1128❩ ❛ You and I are going to change the world. ❜ ❨1129❩ ❛ I’ve been waiting for you a long time. ❜ ❨1130❩ ❛ I’m not used to people trying to kill me. ❜ ❨1131❩ ❛ You’re shaking. ❜ ❨1132❩ ❛ There's nothing wrong with being a lizard. Unless you were born to be a hawk. ❜ ❨1133❩ ❛ Make me your villain. ❜ ❨1134❩ ❛ Just you and me. It’s always just you and me. ❜ ❨1135❩ ❛ Do you blame me for every mistake I made? For every dumb thing I’ve said? ❜ ❨1136❩ ❛ Well, if it gets too bad, give me a signal. ❜ ❨1137❩ ❛ Did you tell him what I showed you in the dark? ❜ ❨1138❩ ❛ Did you miss me when you were gone? ❜ ❨1139❩ ❛ What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men. ❜ ❨1140❩ ❛ You’re interfering with my plan. ❜ ❨1141❩ ❛ Too much champagne? ❜ ❨1142❩ ❛ I hope you don’t expect fairness from me. It isn’t one of my specialties. ❜ ❨1143❩ ❛ There is something more powerful than any army. Something strong enough to topple kings. Faith. ❜ ❨1144❩ ❛ All you said was that I had to kill you. You didn’t say how. ❜ ❨1145❩ ❛ What is she? She’s everything, you dumb son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1146❩ ❛ She’s an ugly little thing. No child should look like that. Pale and sour, like a glass of milk that’s turned. ❜ ❨1147❩ ❛ I wouldn’t make that mistake again. ❜ ❨1148❩ ❛ It’s a great honor, to save a life. You saved many. ❜ ❨1149❩ ❛ In this world, there are things you can only do alone. ❜ ❨1150❩ ❛ What seems like a reasonable distance to one person might feel too far to somebody else. ❜ ❨1151❩ ❛ If you really want to know something, you have to be willing to pay the price. ❜ ❨1152❩ ❛ Why should you be interested in me? ❜ ❨1153❩ ❛ I have been told I've got a darkish personality. A few times. ❜ ❨1154❩ ❛ It's not as if our lives are divided simply into light and dark. There's shadowy middle ground. ❜ ❨1155❩ ❛ I'll write to you. A super-long letter, like in an old-fashioned novel. ❜ ❨1156❩ ❛ The spotlight doesn't suit me. I'm more of a side dish. ❜ ❨1157❩ ❛ The ground we stand on looks solid enough, but if something happens it can drop right out from under you.  ❜ ❨1158❩ ❛ So once you're dead there's just nothing? ❜ ❨1159❩ ❛ If only I could fall sound asleep and wake up in my old reality. ❜ ❨1160❩ ❛ Is action merely the incidental product of thought, or is thought the consequential product of action? ❜ ❨1161❩ ❛ Nobody can shake off their own shadow. ❜ ❨1162❩ ❛ The silence is so deep it hurts. ❜ ❨1163❩ ❛ I may not look it, but I can be a very patient guy. ❜ ❨1164❩ ❛ Killing time is one of my specialities. ❜ ❨1165❩ ❛ You can't fight it. ❜ ❨1166❩ ❛ Tell me something,—do you believe in reincarnation? ❜ ❨1167❩ ❛ I can’t understand nothingness. I can’t understand it and I can’t imagine it. ❜ ❨1168❩ ❛ I can hardly breathe, and my whole body wants to shrink into a corner.  ❜ ❨1169❩ ❛ I do have a few things wrong with me, but those are strictly problems I keep inside. ❜ ❨1170❩ ❛ I can't take it any more, I can't go on any more. ❜ ❨1171❩ ❛ You don't really have it together. ❜ ❨1172❩ ❛ Is it against the law for me to know it? ❜ ❨1173❩ ❛ I keep having the same dream. ❜ ❨1174❩ ❛ Are you asking because you really want an answer? ❜ ❨1175❩ ❛ I hate this! I don't want to be changed this way! ❜ ❨1176❩ ❛ No contradictions, no irony. They do everything according to numerical formulas. ❜ ❨1177❩ ❛ Want to hear the rest? If you’re not interested, I can stop. ❜ ❨1178❩ ❛ If I didn’t have these memories inside me, I would’ve snapped a long time ago. I would’ve curled up in a ditch somewhere and died. ❜ ❨1179❩ ❛ I don’t know what you’re feeling. I won’t even pretend. ❜ ❨1180❩ ❛ What are you doing here, honey? ❜ ❨1181❩ ❛ You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets. ❜ ❨1182❩ ❛ You don't understand me. ❜ ❨1183❩ ❛ All wisdom ends in paradox. ❜ ❨1184❩ ❛ It is love that overthrows empire. Love that binds two hearts together, come hellfire & brimstone. ❜ ❨1185❩ ❛ I have lost my gift. ❜ ❨1186❩ ❛ Winter is the season of alcoholism and despair. ❜ ❨1187❩ ❛ The seeds of death get lost in the mess that God made us. ❜ ❨1188❩ ❛ They're just memories now. It’s time to forget. ❜ ❨1189❩ ❛ The time has to be right and the heart willing. ❜ ❨1190❩ ❛ The world, a tired performer, offers us another half-assed season. ❜ ❨1191❩ ❛ Capitalism has resulted in material well-being but spiritual bankruptcy. ❜ ❨1192❩ ❛ Grief is natural, overcoming it is a matter of choice. ❜ ❨1193❩ ❛ I want out of that decorating scheme. ❜ ❨1194❩ ❛ With most people suicide is like Russian roulette. Only one chamber has a bullet. ❜ ❨1195❩ ❛ You never get over it but you get where it doesn't bother you so much. ❜ ❨1196❩ ❛ Don't waste your time on life. ❜ ❨1197❩ ❛ I'm a teenager. I've got problems! ❜ ❨1198❩ ❛ Adolescents tend to seek love where they can find it. ❜ ❨1199❩ ❛ Obviously, you've never been a thirteen-year-old girl. ❜ ❨1200❩ ❛ It was a mistake. ❜ ❨1201❩ ❛ It seemed like we were supposed to feel sorry for everything that ever happened, ever. ❜ ❨1202❩ ❛ Buffeted but not broken. ❜ ❨1203❩ ❛ Shit. What have kids got to be worried about now? ❜ ❨1204❩ ❛ If they want trouble, they should go live in Bangladesh. ❜ ❨1205❩ ❛ I can't wait until I get out of here. ❜ ❨1206❩ ❛ When she jumped she probably thought she’d fly. ❜ ❨1207❩ ❛ I do not think the patient truly meant to end her life. Her act was a cry for help. ❜ ❨1208❩ ❛ You're a stone fox. ❜ ❨1209❩ ❛ It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight. ❜ ❨1210❩ ❛ Light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. ❜ ❨1211❩ ❛ He broke my heart. You merely broke my life. ❜ ❨1212❩ ❛ I'm sorry to have deceived you so much, but that's how life is. ❜ ❨1213❩ ❛ Words without experience are meaningless. ❜ ❨1214❩ ❛ I loved you. I was a monster, but I loved you. ❜ ❨1215❩ ❛ Come just as you are. ❜ ❨1216❩ ❛ If a violin string could ache, i would be that string. ❜ ❨1217❩ ❛ Perhaps, somewhere, some day, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again. ❜ ❨1218❩ ❛ What's so dreadful about dying is that you are completely on your own. ❜ ❨1219❩ ❛ Don't touch me; I'll die if you touch me. ❜ ❨1220❩ ❛ You took advantage of my disadvantage. ❜ ❨1221❩ ❛ I walk in a maze I cannot get out of. ❜ ❨1222❩ ❛ Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darknesses. ❜ ❨1223❩ ❛ Imagine me; I shall not exist if you do not imagine me. ❜ ❨1224❩ ❛ There is no harm in smiling. ❜ ❨1225❩ ❛ There is no point in staying here. There is no point in staying anywhere. ❜ ❨1226❩ ❛ There is nothing more atrociously cruel than an adored child. ❜ ❨1227❩ ❛ I am so tired of being cynical. ❜ ❨1228❩ ❛ Come to live with me, and die with me, and everything with me. ❜ ❨1229❩ ❛ This is the only immortality that you and I may share. ❜ ❨1230❩ ❛ I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth, or hoped for anywhere else. ❜ ❨1231❩ ❛ I was despicable and brutal, and turpid, and everything, mais je t’aimais, je t’aimais! ❜ ❨1232❩ ❛ Years of secret suffering has taught me superhuman self-control. ❜ ❨1233❩ ❛ Solitude is corrupting me. I need company and care. ❜ ❨1234❩ ❛ I've missed you terribly. ❜ ❨1235❩ ❛ I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. ❜ ❨1236❩ ❛ It doesn't matter a bit, because you've stopped caring anyway. ❜ ❨1237❩ ❛ What makes you say I've stopped caring for you? ❜ ❨1238❩ ❛ Nowadays you have to be a scientist if you want to be a killer. ❜ ❨1239❩ ❛ The sun climbs high in the sky, then starts down. People come, then go. ❜ ❨1240❩ ❛ Tell me, have you ever thought of killing me? ❜ ❨1241❩ ❛ I can not believe you are the same human being. ❜ ❨1242❩ ❛ Just how urgent is it? ❜ ❨1243❩ ❛ It is time for you to be going. ❜ ❨1244❩ ❛ How is it you know something like that? ❜ ❨1245❩ ❛ I don’t mind. Your mess is my mess. ❜ ❨1246❩ ❛ Everybody has one thing they do not want to lose. ❜ ❨1247❩ ❛ I’ll be late tonight, so don’t wait up for me. ❜ ❨1248❩ ❛ Nothing I’ve tried to do by myself has ever come off. ❜ ❨1249❩ ❛ I am not catching you in the middle of anything important, am I? ❜ ❨1250❩ ❛ Some things are forgotten, some things disappear, some things die. ❜ ❨1251❩ ❛ My biggest fault is that the faults I was born with grow bigger each year. ❜ ❨1252❩ ❛ To get irritated is to lose our way in life. ❜ ❨1253❩ ❛ A friend to kill time is a friend sublime. ❜ ❨1254❩ ❛ I don't really know if it's the right thing to do. ❜ ❨1255❩ ❛ Faster cars and more cats run over? Who needs it? ❜ ❨1256❩ ❛ Most of everything you think you know about me is nothing more than memories. ❜ ❨1257❩ ❛ Your fate is and will always be the fate of a dreamer. ❜ ❨1258❩ ❛ You’re loads better than you think you are. ❜ ❨1259❩ ❛ You’re only half-living, the other half is still untapped somewhere. ❜ ❨1260❩ ❛ The song is over. But the melody lingers on. ❜ ❨1261❩ ❛ You are extraordinary. ❜ ❨1262❩ ❛ We tend to fool ourselves into thinking that time is our size, but it really goes on and on. ❜ ❨1263❩ ❛ It could be five years or ten years or one month. It's all the same. ❜ ❨1264❩ ❛ I’m forever realising things too late. ❜ ❨1265❩ ❛ I’m not complaining when I say my life is boring. ❜ ❨1266❩ ❛ Weakness is something that rots in the body. ❜ ❨1267❩ ❛ Coming from your mouth, it has the ring of truth, but I doubt anyone would believe me if I told them. ❜ ❨1268❩ ❛ You can't expect something unreal to last anyway, can you? ❜ ❨1269❩ ❛ A wise man does not step betwixt the beast and his meat. ❜ ❨1270❩ ❛ So, kill me. Tell the others I attacked you so you killed me. ❜ ❨1271❩ ❛ Should never have come here. ❜ ❨1272❩ ❛ Hard to guess my tastes. ❜ ❨1273❩ ❛ Can’t it wait until the morning? ❜ ❨1274❩ ❛ You’ll find temper tantrums won’t help you here. ❜ ❨1275❩ ❛ It must have taken courage to return. ❜ ❨1276❩ ❛ It all sounds grimly dystopian. ❜ ❨1277❩ ❛ I am not afraid of you! ❜ ❨1278❩ ❛ All this could be avoided! ❜ ❨1279❩ ❛ You consider me a murderer? ❜ ❨1280❩ ❛ Gross way to die. ❜ ❨1281❩ ❛ What sparks wars? The will to power, the backbone of human nature. ❜ ❨1282❩ ❛ My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? ❜ ❨1283❩ ❛ Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others. ❜ ❨1284❩ ❛ I believe there is another world waiting for us. A better world. And I'll be waiting for you there. ❜ ❨1285❩ ❛ You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn't mean you're defective - it just means you're human. ❜ ❨1286❩ ❛ Power, time, gravity, love. The forces that really kick ass are all invisible. ❜ ❨1287❩ ❛ Unlimited power in the hands of limited people always leads to cruelty. ❜ ❨1288❩ ❛ Truth is singular. Its 'versions' are mistruths. ❜ ❨1289❩ ❛ Dreams are all I have ever truly owned. ❜ ❨1290❩ ❛ Your version of the truth is the only thing that matters. ❜ ❨1291❩ ❛ I believe death is only a door. One closes, and another opens. ❜ ❨1292❩ ❛ By each crime and every kindness, we birth our future. ❜ ❨1293❩ ❛ The healthy can't understand the emptied, the broken. ❜ ❨1294❩ ❛ Lying's wrong, but when the world spins backwards, a small wrong may be a big right. ❜ ❨1295❩ ❛ The weak are meat the strong do eat. ❜ ❨1296❩ ❛ Do whatever you can't not do. ❜ ❨1297❩ ❛ What precipitates outcomes? Vicious acts & virtuous acts. ❜ ❨1298❩ ❛ I remain thankful to God for all his mercies. ❜ ❨1299❩ ❛ You can maintain power over people, as long as you give them something. Rob a man of everything, and that man will no longer be in your power. ❜ ❨1300❩ ❛ Power. The ability to determine another man's luck. ❜ ❨1301❩ ❛ Pain is strong, aye - but friends' eyes, more strong. ❜ ❨1302❩ ❛ Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively. ❜ ❨1303❩ ❛ Why ask a question whose answer would demand ten more questions? ❜ ❨1304❩ ❛ You can’t lie to your soul. ❜ ❨1305❩ ❛ Why would I want to do a thing like that? ❜ ❨1306❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. ❜ ❨1307❩ ❛ Better to make life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨1308❩ ❛ I’m not running away, I’m moving on. ❜ ❨1309❩ ❛ The reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨1310❩ ❛ Some people are easier to love when you don’t have to be around them. ❜ ���1311❩ ❛ Love does not exist. ❜ ❨1312❩ ❛ Fuck that ‘regrets’ bullshit. ❜ ❨1313❩ ❛ How does it make you feel? ❜ ❨1314❩ ❛ It’s horrible how we always die alone, but no worse than living alone. ❜ ❨1315❩ ❛ Choose us. Choose life. ❜ ❨1316❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨1317❩ ❛ I’m more of a warrior than you’ll ever be. ❜ ❨1318❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low, the scum of the earth. ❜ ❨1319❩ ❛ You don’t have to run away.  ❜ ❨1320❩ ❛ I tried to stop because it was only causing pain. I couldn’t. ❜ ❨1321❩ ❛ I’m not going to get crushed. ❜ ❨1322❩ ❛ I love doubt in a woman. It’s nearly as sexy as determination. ❜ ❨1323❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty. ❜ ❨1324❩ ❛ You’re a mess. ❜ ❨1325❩ ❛ I know that it’s never left you alone. ❜ ❨1326❩ ❛ Are you asking me or telling me? ❜ ❨1327❩ ❛ You just get used to all the shit. ❜ ❨1328❩ ❛ You can’t afford a conscience in this life. ❜ ❨1329❩ ❛ None of us are saints and scapegoats are always handy. ❜ ❨1330❩ ❛ Doing things doesn’t hurt you; you get hurt by avoiding them. ❜ ❨1331❩ ❛ What was that? ❜ ❨1332❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨1333❩ ❛ You can’t love yourself if you want to hurt things like that. ❜ ❨1334❩ ❛ What happens when people open their hearts? ❜ ❨1335❩ ❛ Nobody likes being alone that much. ❜ ❨1336❩ ❛ I don’t go out of my way to make friends, that’s all. It just leads to disappointment.” ❨1337❩ ❛ Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that. ❜ ❨1338❩ ❛ You need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. ❜ ❨1339❩ ❛ I want you always to remember me. ❜ ❨1340❩ ❛ Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it’s time for them to be hurt. ❜ ❨1341❩ ❛ What stays in your heart will stay; keep them, and what vanishes will vanish. ❜ ❨1342❩ ❛ All I want in this world is you. ❜ ❨1343❩ ❛ I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning. ❜ ❨1344❩ ❛ No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. ❜ ❨1345❩ ❛ What a terrible thing it is to wound someone you really care for and to do it so unconsciously. ❜ ❨1346❩ ❛ If you’re in pitch blackness, all you can do is sit tight until your eyes get used to the dark. ❜ ❨1347❩ ❛ I’ve had enough hurt already in my life. More than enough. Now I want to be happy. ❜ ❨1348❩ ❛ People leave strange little memories of themselves behind when they die. ❜ ❨1349❩ ❛ Stop eating yourself up alive. Things will go where they’re supposed to go if you just let them take their natural course. ❜ ❨1350❩ ❛ When your feelings build up and harden and die inside, then you’re in big trouble. ❜ ❨1351❩ ❛ When you fall in love, the natural thing to do is give yourself to it. ❜ ❨1352❩ ❛ If I have left a wound inside you, it is not just your wound but mine as well. ❜ ❨1353❩ ❛ Hey, what is it with you? Why are you so spaced out? You still haven’t answered me. ❜ ❨1354❩ ❛ People are strange when you’re a stranger. ❜ ❨1355❩ ❛ The dead will always be dead, but we have to go on living. ❜ ❨1356❩ ❛ You don’t get it, do you? ❜ ❨1357❩ ❛ I am a flawed human being - a far more flawed human being than you ❨1358❩ realise. ❜ ❨1359❩ ❛ At least let me know whether or not I hurt you. ❜ ❨1360❩ ❛ All of us are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world. ❜ ❨1361❩ ❛ I’ve never once thought about how I was going to die. ❜ ❨1362❩ ❛ So I’m not crazy after all! ❜ ❨1363❩ ❛ I miss you terribly sometimes, but in general I go on living with all the energy I can muster. ❜ ❨1364❩ ❛ Will you wait for me forever? ❜ ❨1365❩ ❛ I don’t want our relationship to end like this. ❜ ❨1366❩ ❛ When am I going to be able to talk to you? I want you to tell me that much, at least. ❜ ❨1367❩ ❛ It hurts not being able to see you. ❜ ❨1368❩ ❛ I’m not totally mad at you. I’m just sad. ❜ ❨1369❩ ❛ The world is an inherently unfair place. ❜ ❨1370❩ ❛ Life frightens me sometimes. I don’t happen to take that as the premise for everything else though. ❜ ❨1371❩ ❛ I’m a real bargain, don’t you think? If you don’t take me, I’ll end up going somewhere else. ❜ ❨1372❩ ❛ We’re all kind of weird and twisted and drowning. ❜ ❨1373❩ ❛ Don’t you think it would be wonderful to get rid of everything and everybody and just go some place where you don’t know a soul? ❜ ❨1374❩ ❛ You’re not telling me anything I don’t know already. ❜ ❨1375❩ ❛ He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past. ❜ ❨1376❩ ❛ If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself. ❜ ❨1377❩ ❛ We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness. ❜ ❨1378❩ ❛ Until they become conscious they will never rebel. ❜ ❨1379❩ ❛ Power is not a means; it is an end. ❜ ❨1380❩ ❛ They are not interested in the good of others; they are interested solely in power, pure power. ❜ ❨1381❩ ❛ Now you begin to understand me. ❜ ❨1382❩ ❛ In the face of pain there are no heroes. ❜ ❨1383❩ ❛ Big Brother is watching you. ❜ ❨1384❩ ❛ Power is tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing. ❜ ❨1385❩ ❛ It’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words. ❜ ❨1386❩ ❛ The choice for mankind lies between freedom and happiness and for the great bulk of mankind, happiness is better. ❜ ❨1387❩ ❛ Your mind appeals to me. It resembles my own mind. ❜ ❨1388❩ ❛ Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. ❜ ❨1389❩ ❛ We do not merely destroy our enemies; we change them. ❜ ❨1390❩ ❛ How can I help it? How can I help but see what is in front of my eyes? ❜ ❨1391❩ ❛ You must try harder. ❜ ❨1392❩ ❛ Confession is not betrayal. ❜ ❨1393❩ ❛ What you say or do doesn’t matter; only feelings matter. ❜ ❨1394❩ ❛ If they could make me stop loving you —- that would be the real betrayal. ❜ ❨1395❩ ❛ Of pain you can wish only one thing: that it should stop. ❜ ❨1396❩ ❛ To die hating them, that will be freedom. ❜ ❨1397❩ ❛ No one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. ❜ ❨1398❩ ❛ What can you do against the lunatic who is more intelligent than yourself? ❜ ❨1399❩ ❛ To keep them in control is not difficult. ❜ ❨1400❩ ❛ So long as they are not permitted to have standards of comparison, they never even become aware that they are oppressed. ❜ ❨1401❩ ❛ The consequences of every act are included in the act itself. ❜ ❨1402❩ ❛ The essential act of war is destruction, not necessarily of human lives, but of the products of human labour. ❜ ❨1403❩ ❛ Stupidity is as necessary as intelligence, and as difficult to attain. ❜ ❨1404❩ ❛ I hate purity, I hate goodness! I don’t want virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone to be corrupt to the bones. ❜ ❨1405❩ ❛ The past is dead, the future is unimaginable. ❜ ❨1406❩ ❛ You know the answer already. Everyone knows it. ❜ ❨1407❩ ❛ You don’t give a damn what they suffer. All you care is yourself. ❜ ❨1408❩ ❛ It is not easy to become sane. ❜ ❨1409❩ ❛ No emotion is pure anymore, because everything is mixed up with fear and hatred. ❜ ❨1410❩ ❛ They say that time heals all things —- they say you can always forget. ❜ ❨1411❩ ❛ The object of waging a war is always to be in a better position in which to wage another war. ❜ ❨1412❩ ❛ I sold you and you sold me. ❜ ❨1413❩ ❛ You do not exist. ❜ ❨1414❩ ❛ How does one man assert his power over another? By making him suffer. ❜ ❨1415❩ ❛ Obedience is not enough. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own? ❜ ❨1416❩ ❛ Everything else we shall destroy – everything. ❜ ❨1417❩ ❛ Two and two makes five. ❜ ❨1418❩ ❛ Facts, at any rate, can not be kept hidden. ❜ ❨1419❩ ❛ The past is whatever the records and the memories agree upon. ❜ ❨1420❩ ❛ So long as human beings stay human, death and life are the same thing. ❜ ❨1421❩ ❛ If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable—what then? ❜ ❨1422❩ ❛ The lie became the truth. ❜ ❨1423❩ ❛ It is like swimming against a current that sweeps you backwards however hard you struggle. ❜ ❨1424❩ ❛ Turn round and go with the current instead of opposing it. ❜ ❨1425❩ ❛ It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. ❜ ❨1426❩ ❛ I don’t want to die without any scars. ❜ ❨1427❩ ❛ This is your life and it’s ending one moment at a time. ❜ ❨1428❩ ❛ You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways. ❜ ❨1429❩ ❛ You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. ❜ ❨1430❩ ❛ You are not special. ❜ ❨1431❩ ❛ You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else. ❜ ❨1432❩ ❛ The things you used to own, now they own you. ❜ ❨1433❩ ❛ Today is the sort of day where the sun only comes up to humiliate you. ❜ ❨1434❩ ❛ Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves. ❜ ❨1435❩ ❛ Only after disaster can we be resurrected. ❜ ❨1436❩ ❛ Everything is evolving, everything is falling apart. ❜ ❨1437❩ ❛ We’ve all been raised believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. ❜ ❨1438❩ ❛ Don’t you have other things to do? ❜ ❨1439❩ ❛ Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. ❜ ❨1440❩ ❛ You have been warned. ❜ ❨1441❩ ❛ If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t. ❜ ❨1442❩ ❛ It’s not love or anything, but I think I like you, too. ❜ ❨1443❩ ❛ If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person? ❜ ❨1444❩ ❛ Why did I cause so much pain? ❜ ❨1445❩ ❛ The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly. ❜ ❨1446❩ ❛ Maybe self-improvement isn’t the answer, maybe self-destruction is the answer. ❜ ❨1447❩ ❛ May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. ❜ ❨1448❩ ❛ Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. ❜ ❨1449❩ ❛ We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. ❜ ❨1450❩ ❛ The girl is infectious human waste. ❜ ❨1451❩ ❛ I want to destroy everything beautiful I’ll never have. ❜ ❨1452❩ ❛ On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. ❜ ❨1453❩ ❛ If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? ❜ ❨1454❩ ❛ It is like you’re never really awake; but you’re never really asleep. ❜ ❨1455❩ ❛ Worker bees can leave. Even drones can fly away. The Queen is their slave. ❜ ❨1456❩ ❛ A moment is the most you could ever expect from perfection. ❜ ❨1457❩ ❛ The people you’re trying to step on, we’re everyone you depend on. ❜ ❨1458❩ ❛ You have to give up! ❜ ❨1459❩ ❛ Reject the basic assumptions of civilisation, especially the importance of material possessions. ❜ ❨1460❩ ❛ Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing. ❜ ❨1461❩ ❛ You have to realise that someday you will die, Until you know that, you are useless. ❜ ❨1462❩ ❛ A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you. ❜ ❨1463❩ ❛ Lies make us evil. ❜ ❨1464❩ ❛ If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? ❜ ❨1465❩ ❛ You always kill the one you love. ❜ ❨1466❩ ❛ Maybe we should always assume the worst. ❜ ❨1467❩ ❛ Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. ❜ ❨1468❩ ❛ Which is worse? Hell or nothing? ❜ ❨1469❩ ❛ A minute of perfection is worth the effort. ❜ ❨1470❩ ❛ You’re going to die, tonight. You might die in one second or in one hour, you decide. ❜ ❨1471❩ ❛ Lie to me. Tell me the first thing off the top of your head. Make something up. ❜ ❨1472❩ ❛ I don’t give a shit. I have a gun. ❜ ❨1473❩ ❛ I know who you are. I know where you live. ❜ ❨1474❩ ❛ Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of your life. ❜ ❨1475❩ ❛ My philosophy of life is that I can die at any moment. And the tragedy of my life is that I do not. ❜ ❨1476❩ ❛ Everything is so far away, a copy of a copy of a copy. You can’t touch anything and nothing can touch you. ❜ ❨1477❩ ❛ There are a lot of things we don’t want to know about the people we love. ❜ ❨1478❩ ❛ We just had a near-life experience. ❜ ❨1479❩ ❛ If people think you are dying, they give you their full attention. They listen instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. ❜ ❨1480❩ ❛ I am nothing, and not even that. ❜ ❨1481❩ ❛ This isn’t really death. —- We’ll be legends. We won’t grow old. ❜ ❨1482❩ ❛ Stop trying to control everything and just let go. Let go. ❜ ❨1483❩ ❛ The amazing miracle of death, when one second you’re walking and talking, and the next second you’re an object. ❜ ❨1484❩ ❛ Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved. ❜ ❨1485❩ ❛ I never thought about how important the sky was until I didn't have one. ❜ ❨1486❩ ❛ Dreams are like that: they go in and out of memories and scenes, but they're never real. They're never real, and I hate them because they aren't. ❜ ❨1487❩ ❛ Power isn’t control at all — power is strength, and giving that strength to others. ❜ ❨1488❩ ❛ A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make him stronger. ❜ ❨1489❩ ❛ A leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own. ❜ ❨1490❩ ❛ In the end, we are alone. ❜ ❨1491❩ ❛ It is like a piece of my soul is lost, empty. ❜ ❨1492❩ ❛ If my life on Earth must end, let it end with a promise. Let it end with hope. ❜ ❨1493❩ ❛ Sorry? Sorry isn't enough. ❜ ❨1494❩ ❛ Every single thing I ever loved is beyond my reach now. Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever was. ❜ ❨1495❩ ❛ Will you stay with me? ❜ ❨1496❩ ❛ A leader doesn't make pawns - he makes people. ❜ ❨1497❩ ❛ Do you hear that? The pulse of life from your heart, the slow in-and-out from your lungs? Even when you are silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life. Mine is not. ❜ ❨1498❩ ❛ It is the silence that drives me mad. The silence that drives the nightmares to me. ❜ ❨1499❩ ❛ There is nothing between us but rain. There is nothing between us at all. ❜ ❨1500❩ ❛ I like a little chaos. ❜

[brokestminimalist]

Broke Laundry: updated 2021

For the time being, let's skip talking about how almost all of us have too many clothes.   The clothes that you have get dirty, and must be washed.  I am going to assume you have access to a modern washing machine, either at your house or a laundromat. We'll call step one sorting:

Sorting: Ain’t nobody got time for this.  This is an extra chore that is 99% not necessary.  Unless you have specialty fabrics or are particular about how white your whites are, it’s just added  stress and a waste of time.  I don't actually own any white clothes anymore, but if I did I'd run a load of whites with a cup of bleach once a month. I do not own things that can’t survive the washing machine, either.  No delicates, no dry cleaning.  I wash towels with clothes, and sheets together with bedspreads. Cleaning rags and towels have their own basket and get washed when it gets full.

Laundry Detergent: Avoid the very cheapest for the sake of your darks, but there is no need to spring for the most expensive thing on the shelf.  In fact, I make laundry detergent from one part washing soda, one part Borax, and one part soap. A double batch is enough detergent to last three months for a single person. Good recipes can be had all over the internet, so go forth and find yourself one.  If you’re washing in cold water and your tap water is very cold, such as in the winter, you may find it necessary to stir your homemade detergent into a cup of hot water before putting it into the machine. Out of detergent?  A spoonful of dish soap will do in a pinch.  Regardless of whether you’re using store bought or homemade, don’t use too much detergent; it’s bad for the machine, the environment, and your clothes.  We do not want to buy new clothes until we absolutely have to, right?  Right.

Fabric Softener: I recently saw a headline about how Millennials are killing the fabric softener industry.  The truth is, they are prioritizing groceries and lights over luxuries like Downy.  If you must have it and can afford it, go ahead.  Measure carefully but don’t dilute unless the package says so.  Fabric softener sheets are a good alternative, if you are using a dryer.  Here at Brokest Minimalist, we use a Downy ball with white vinegar in it.  The vinegar cuts soap residue, softens most fabrics, and is much cheaper.  Plus it’s versatile enough to be used for cleaning as well.  An added bonus is that it doesn’t reduce the absorbency of your towels like regular fabric softener does.

Water:  Set your washer on Tap Cold. Yes, really.  Unless your clothes are very greasy, almost anything can be washed in cold water and will get just as clean.  It isn’t so much the temperature of the water or even the detergent that does the washing, as much as it is the action of the clothes rubbing against each other inside the machine.  Anything that’s machine washable can be washed in cold water, period.

Settings: On our machine at home, clothes go on “casual” and sheets/bedspreads on “heavy duty”. Don’t stress too much about this.  Choose a water level that is appropriate to how full the machine is, add your stuff, and go ahead.

Drying:  Here at Brokest Minimalist, we don’t dry anything in the dryer.  Why?  Because air dries stuff for free, that’s why.  Clothes dryers are one of the most frivolous uses of electricity in the modern world.  They are also one of the number one causes of fire in the United States, after candles and cooking fires.  Unless you are in a huge hurry, hang your clothes to dry. Outdoors if possible, as sun dried clothing smells much better than any fabric softener does.  You don’t even have to spend all afternoon pinning stuff to a clothesline like your great-grandma did, either! Our system is beautiful in its simplicity.  We take our clothes out of the washing machine, hang them on clothes hangers, and then hang the hangers on the clothesline.  If you have a smooth line, tie knots in it or use clothespins to keep stuff from sliding back and forth in the breeze.  If you don’t have a line, put one up or buy a portable or retractable one. In summer your clothes will be dry within an hour in direct sunlight, which is a comparable time to many dryers.  If it’s raining, you can hang them indoors over curtain rods, from your mantel, or on your shower curtain rod.  Even if it’s freezing outside, in direct sunlight your clothes will dry within a few hours. For free.  No kidding.  And UV light is a great sanitizer if you’re worried about germs! Here we hang our and towels and unmentionables on racks purchased from Amazon, such as this and this.  Another tidbit we have figured out, is that there is no need to wait until daylight to hang your clothes. In the old days it was nigh unheard of, but there’s no harm.  The morning dew won’t make your wet clothes wetter.   Do you work nights?  Do a load of laundry after you get home from work and hang it out to dry, even if it’s midnight.  It will be dry by lunchtime tomorrow.   This saves wear and tear on your clothes, it saves electricity, it won’t create extra static like the dryer, and hanging stuff is kind of a nice, meditative way to spend a few minutes. Take some deep breaths of fresh air, reflect on your day, let go of some anxiety.

Does all of this sound too complicated? Written down it’s a lot, but let us take you through a load of laundry we just did.  For the record, it is currently one o'clock in the morning.  It’s 31 degrees outside.

1) Put clothes in washer.  Not sorted, just all the clothes in the hamper or off your floordrobe, dumped into the washing machine.

2) It’s cold out, so put a tablespoon of detergent into a cup of hot water and stir.  Pour in washer. Put white vinegar in Downy ball, toss in washer.

3) Push start button and go do something else.  Read, take a nap, cook, clean bathroom. Write a long-winded Tumblr post.  Whatever.

4) When load is done, hang everything on hangers/racks still wet.  This is the longest part, and it takes 5-7 minutes, max. You can do it while watching tv or listening to music.

5) Carry your hung up clothes outdoors to the clothesline and hang them up, or to whatever indoor location you have deemed fit if it is raining.

These will be dry in a few hours except for very heavy things like thing hoodies or jeans, those may take longer.  Yes, even if it’s cool outside.  As long as there is direct sunlight, they will dry.  When you’re ready, bring them in. All the clothes are already on hangers, so just stick them in your closet.

Once upon a time we had a lot of drama about laundry.  We had fights over whose turn it was, how much Tide to put in, and who was going to clean the lint trap.  When the dryer broke, I absolutely agonized over the three hundred dollars it would take to buy a new one.  That three hundred dollars meant going without cable for two months, it meant scrimping for groceries and paying a late fee on the phone bill.  It was more than an entire paycheck, just to dry clothes!

Today that same dryer is sitting in our laundry room in disuse.  We have it, for emergencies.  A drink spilled on a work shirt, perhaps, that needs to be worn in 30 minutes.  It’s good for fluffing up pillows, on the no-heat setting. It wasn’t worth the stress or the tears or the three hundred dollars we put into it all those years ago.  It’s basically a glorified shelf for our detergent now:

So today, I challenge you, broke person.  Don’t wear those grungy jeans for one more day.   Do a load of laundry, as frugally as you can.  Measure your detergent carefully, hang your clothes to dry.  Your clothes will last longer, your utility bill will be lower, and you will have a few minutes of peace and quiet outside.  It’s less wear and tear, less electricity, and less stress, and that’s a minimalist win.

If you do choose to dry your clothes in a dryer, beware of over-drying as that can cause static and extra wear and tear on your clothes.  Clean out your lint trap, it will make your clothes dry faster and reduce the risk of fire.  If you are too broke to have dryer sheets, wool dryer balls are pretty cheap and effective for fabric softening and reducing static.  We have also heard that you could use tennis balls or a couple balls of wadded up aluminum foil for this purpose.

Happy washing!

Some links: homemade detergent at TSD, and Mr. Electricity’s opinion on dryers.